#obvs the show is not that deep but like whats the point if you dont read super far into things you like <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[blackholebunni]

hi hello its like 2 in the morning and ive decided to post this stupid deranged theory <3

so in the zim fandom theres this common trope in fanfics that i will affectionately refer to as "pak theory", where some kind of error or propoganda or some such is directly interfering with zim's ability to Be Good At His Job (invader).

so. "we apologize for the interruption" amirite. the plot of the episode is essentially zosky wants to take a break but apparently that's against the terms and conditions of this contract that he Did Not Know Existed (kaput is also part of this contract, obvs). The guy who runs up to scold them abt Taking A Break proceeds to patronizingly explain to kaput and zosky that they're cartoon characters doomed to try and fail at taking over a planet each and every time. Kaput and Zosky... don't seem to register the cartoon character part??? like at all?? they argue with the guy and then he sentences them to "cartoon hard labour" but i am mostly focused on the fact that a: kaput and zosky are apparantly part of a contract they do not remember ever signing; and b: they do not react to the cartoon character thing AT ALL. i would argue they literally did not or /could not/ register.

anyways. what do you think would happen if that contract, which sounds kind of illegal, where to be destroyed or render null and void. because i think abt that a lot

[nocturnalcharm]

SWF Alphabet (Logan Howlett)

𐙚 cw: mention of sex briefly, cursing

𐙚 a/n: all of these are just my ~opinions~ so feel free to disagree w me lol also maybe a lil self indulgent so probs not v accurate to wolvie but its alr :,) NOT PROOFREAD

18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

— doesn’t start out affectionate, but once you’ve got a deep connection, he becomes more affectionate. loves hugs and surprising you with gifts

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

— would start bc of the team obv. feel like he’d be the type of friend where,,, if you called him at 3am, for any reason, he’d be out of the house and otw to you at 3:01.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

— as much as i want to say yes.. like realistically no. bc nightmares and claws and trauma. but likeeee this is my blog bitch so yes hehe. he’s a big cuddle bug. def likes to be the big spoon but doesn’t mind being a lil spoon sometimes.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

— yes, he could see himself settling down but doesn’t rly care for getting married though, he just doesn’t see the point of it.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

— (im crying) if he HAD to, i feel like he’d push it off and become more distant until you ask him what’s wrong, then he’d tell you everything. ookaY NEXT I DONT WANNA BE SAD

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

— i feel like he wouldn’t want to get married, not for a specific reason, just like doesn’t see the point. is committed to you though and if it was rly important to you, he would.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

— hA. physically yes very gentle unless ur having sex. emotionally………. nah. like if it’s a rly serious situation then yeah but he might not realize how serious something is until he’s already made an ass out of himself and then he’s like //oh shit i fucked up//

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

— heheh… yes. he hugs you all the time. literally always. coming up behind you while you’re cooking, or brushing your teeth and bear hugs you. he just likes touching you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

— oof. he takes awhile to say it. he def says it first though. but like.. awhile. probably like a year.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

— WHEWWWW I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE. he’s very jealous. he says he’s not. but his actions show otherwise. like says he’s fine but can’t keep his hands off you (when he normally hates PDA) ugh i love it. just wants to show everyone you’re his.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

— passionate. leaves you wanting more. he likes to kiss you allllll overrrr. he likes to be kissed on his neck. and his chest when you’re cuddling and he doesn’t have a shirt on. and lips but duh.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

— cautious, like kinda scared. especially around babies. doesn’t know how to handle them lol

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

— sleepy, cuddly mornings. staying in bed for as long as possible.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

— i like to think you two stay up late together. watching movies, cooking food at midnight, you two often fall asleep on the couch instead of the bed

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

— he doesn’t start getting rly personal until he knows you’re someone to trust, but it’d take awhile. he reveals things slowly.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

— unless you do something to really piss him off, which you wouldnt, i feel like he’d be chill (with u only obv, angry wolvie w everyone else)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

— sorry but like he remembers every detail you’ve told him. he comes home randomly with a specific candy bar you mentioned you like ONCE 2 years ago and is so proud of himself.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

— when he first said “i love you”. he was so vulnerable and scared honestly but everything was fine and you said it back!!

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

— VERY. VERY BITCH. he will cut a bitch to protect you. literally. ‘touch her and you die’ vibes.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

— i kinda feel like unless it’s something rly important, he wouldn’t put that much effort in but not bc he doesn’t care. bc you like to go over the top and plan out everything lol

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

— isn’t great at communication. prob bottles things up until he kinda blows up whoooops. he definitely tries but has a hard time opening up.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

— he cares, have u seen his lil tufts? isn’t obsessed but puts effort into his appearance. just wants to look good for you!!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

— ummm yes. it takes a lot for him to open up & be comfortable around someone so if you just weren’t there anymore, for whatever reason, he would feel incomplete

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

— imagining him getting ready for date and he’s styling his lil tufts and ur waiting on him like ‘babe hurry we’re gonna be late!!’ and he’s just trying to perfect his hair so he looks good for you omg

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

— as a yapper this hurts to say but… if you talk too much i feel like it’d annoy him. just imaging you going on and on and on and in his head he’s like ‘get to the mf point ohmygoddddd’

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

— like i mentioned earlier, accidentally falling asleep on the couch lol. sorry but he snores and you have to shake him to make him stop

[mybiasisexo]

may i request 50 for the drabble game please? feel free to make it a pt 2 of personal trainer yeol 😂 but up to your creative flow! thank you 🩵

Distracted pt. 2 -- Cardio 🏃🏻‍♂️

Part 1 Genre: smut | personal trainer!au Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Length: 2.4k Warnings: language | explicit sexual scenes

a/n: i feel like you dont have to read pt 1 if you dont want to, but it does add some context 😇. imma be honest...this was hard asf 😭. im not v confident in writing smut lol i get so nervous 😂 im just a girl ok?!??!! but yeaaah i hope it quenches yall thirsts cause youre obv THIRSTYYYY 💦😂 and if its bad just lie and tell me i did good lmfaoo

DRABBLE GAME | MASTERLIST

Two days passed before you’re back at the gym. When you found Chanyeol, he informed you it was a cardio day and left you to it.

Your anxiety soared while you struggled to climb the stair master. He told you to do forty minutes, so he must hate you. You were going to have to get a new trainer, huh? Hell, at this rate, a whole new gym! If you’d known this was how your relationship with Chanyeol would be after taking his offer, you would’ve declined it. Better yet, he should’ve never offered in the first place!

Personally, you didn’t regret what happened. It felt like the shaken bottle of your shared desire finally exploded. Actually, you did have one regret, and that was the fact you’d had only a taste—literally for Chanyeol—of that desire.

Still, you understood if Chanyeol had any qualms about the situation. He was your trainer after all. Eating your client out on company time probably wasn’t the best move. The distance he was currently giving you was telling. He rarely made you do cardio, and when you did it was for warm up. Was this his way of telling you that was a one-off thing? Was he silently hoping you wouldn’t show up? Despite the burning in your thighs, you pressed on even harder, needing a distraction from your racing thoughts.

“Too much?” The deep voice caused your lower abdomen to burn. Checking behind you, you saw Chanyeol moseying in your direction. Your forty minutes was up and you were now dragging your stiff legs to the locker room.

“I’ve never been on that thing longer than five minutes,” you whined. “And I might’ve pushed myself too hard. My thighs feel like they’re about to pop.”

He winced and followed you into the room. You plopped onto a bench with a sigh, closing your eyes and tilting your head back as you relished in your relief.

Your body tensed back up at the sensation of hands on your calf. You whipped your head forward, eyes sprang open to the vision of Chanyeol kneeling in front of you.

“What are—oh!” Your question turned into a moan as his thick fingers started messaging your sore muscles.

“We don’t want them to get too sore, now do we?” He murmured, focused entirely on your legs.

You melted under his hands and fought the little sensual sounds his innocent touch elicited from you. He worked on your calves first, slowly venturing higher to your painfully tight thighs. You knew he had to feel the goosebumps prickling your skin in answer to his ministrations, but he remained silent as he worked, and you wondered if this was his attempt at an apology. Well, you’d take it. It felt way too good not to.

“I’ve never done a day of straight cardio,” you said, breeching the topic of your concern.

Chanyeol sighed heavily. “I thought it would be best for today….”

“So that you could leave me alone?” You questioned.

“Yes,” he admitted. “But not for the reason you’re thinking.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?”

He finally lifted his head and your breath caught at the sight. Chanyeol looking up at you from between your legs had your last shared memory come to mind, where he was in a very similar position.

A grin lifted a corner of his mouth, as if he knew where your mind had gone, and it only proved the point he was about to make.

“If your pouting throughout your workout was any indicator, I imagine you think I regret what happened between us.”

A thrill shot through you at the word: us. You tried your best to hide your pleasure before the man in front of you could notice.

“You don’t?” You asked. “Because I understand if you do. I don’t want you to get in trouble. I can get a new trainer or even go to a diff—ow!”

He’d put too much pressure on a particularly sore spot. He threw you a deceptively innocent look. “There was a knot.”

You scoffed. He ignored you, answering your question instead. “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, there’s no need to do that. Just because I licked your pussy doesn’t mean I can’t be professional.”

Your fingers curled around the bench as a wave of arousal swept over you. You let out a breathless laugh. “That’s a very professional thing to say.”

He shrugged. “If you want a different trainer, I won’t stop you. I did cross a line.”

He switched thighs. “But I’m hoping you don’t.”

That shocked you. He was avoiding your stare, concentrating on the thigh he was rubbing. You could sense the sincerity of his words, his vulnerability. You knew you weren’t going to trade trainers. It was only the doubt on his end that spurred the suggestion in the first place.

“Why?”

He peeked up at you, his fingers dangerously close to your now throbbing apex.

“Because I like you.”

You blanched. “You do?!”

He laughed at you. “How can I not? You’re silly—”

“I beg your pardon?”

“—And pretty, and mean—”

“When have I ever been mean to you?” You asked skeptically.

“You haven’t heard the way you talk to me at the end of core day. Plus, you have a glare that could scare the devil.”

That made your back straighten with pride. “Damn right I do.”

“It’s sexy,” he assured. “Everything about you is sexy, it’s unfair. And the most unfair thing of all?”

He bent his head down and pressed his lips to your knee. The tender action trapped your breath in your lungs. He peeked up at you from under his lashes. “You taste just like honey.”

“I do?” You choked out.

He nodded, pressing another kiss above his last. “It’s all I can think about. That’s the reason I sent you off to cardio. I feared I wouldn’t be able to control myself from begging you for another taste.”

He bit the fat of your thigh, dragging his teeth over the tender flesh. The sharp sting of his teeth had you gasping, your hips rolling slightly.

“I knew I’d end up here,” he groaned to himself. He stared up at you with pleading eyes. “So, can I? Taste you again? Let me make up for torturing you today, hmm?”

He kissed up your thigh. When he reached the joint of your hip, you shoved him hard enough for him to fall backwards. He caught himself from sprawling on the floor and looked at you in bewilderment. For a brief moment, you acknowledged that your workouts with him had been paying off if you could knock him over now.

“No.”

“No?” He repeated as if he’d misheard you.

Smirking, you crossed a leg over the other. “I think I deserve a bigger reward. For all my efforts today.”

He didn’t comprehend at first, but then understanding flashed on his face. Still, he remained silent, reluctant to answer in case he was wrong.

“What do you think?” You urged. Your gaze flickered to his crotch and a low grumble rumbled from within his chest.

“If you think that’s what you deserve….”

“I do.”

“Then it’s yours.”

You bit your lip in excitement as he stood up. He hovered over you, reaffirming just how big he was. You’d have to tilt your head allllll the way back to look into his eyes. You wouldn’t know though, because you were too busy reaching for the band of his shorts, thankful that all you had to do was pull them down.

He grabbed your hands before you could yank the offensive barrier off.

“So eager,” he chuckled. You quickly swallowed the whine you were about to let out, refusing to prove another of his points. You decided a glare would send a better message.

“Scary.” He pretended to quake in fear before cupping your chin, tilting your head up as he bent down to bring your lips together for a passionate kiss. It’s wet and all tongue, as if he was settling on these lips to satiate his yearning.   

You made out for a while, until you grew impatient. You wanted to return the favor for last time. You’d tried, after he tore an intense orgasm from you, you’d reached for his shorts just as you had now, and he’d stopped you then as well. He’d promised that eating you out was enough, but it’d left you longing for him.

With him distracted by your mouth, you slithered your hands back to the band of his shorts and slowly dragged them to his mid-thigh. The action made him pull away so that he could narrow his eyes at you accusingly. It made you laugh, but the sight of his dick took away your humor. There was nothing funny about that. You grew intimidated by the size as it bounced in front of your face.

“What?” he asked, sounding rather smug. “Having second thoughts, Sweetie?”

“Absolutely not.” You wasted no more time putting Chanyeol into your mouth the best you could. Your determination made him chuckle, but the feeling of your tongue swiping across his sensitive skin left him groaning. Tears blurred your vision from your effort, but it didn’t deter you. Chanyeol soon took the reins, holding himself up with one hand against the lockers behind you, his other hand holding the back of your head to keep it steady so that he could fuck himself into your mouth.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” he huffed. He decided to test your limits by shoving himself in until your nose pressed against his pelvis. Immediately, you’re gagging around him and his head fell back. “I knew you could take all of me. So good. You feel so good. Shit.”

You couldn’t help but moan from his praises, fighting the urge to play with yourself. The sound vibrated around him, causing his hips to jerk, sinking deeper into you.

He dragged himself out. “Shit. I need to be in you.”

“Fucking finally,” you coughed.

He barked a laugh. “Hey, you’re the one who wanted to suck me off.”

“True.” You sighed dreamily. He shook his head and started undressing. You followed suite, eager to get to the main event.

When you’re standing in front of him completely naked, he took a few steps back to get a good look. “Fuck, you are so beautiful.”

The compliment made you light up. It was so genuine and sweet, it made you want to please him even more. “Then touch me.”

He obliged you straightaway. Large hands roamed your body, lips wandered the expanse of your neck and chest before settling on your lips.

Without breaking the kiss, Chanyeol lifted you up to lay you gently on the bench. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but it would have to do. He slid you towards the edge where he stood and practically squatted to line himself up to you.

“Are you sure you want this?” He asked. He rubbed his cock against your soaked pussy distractedly as he awaited your consent.

You nodded quickly. “Yes. Dear god, yes, Chanyeol! I want this. I want you.”

“You want me?” You asked, teasingly.

“So bad,” you babbled. “Please. Please fuck me. Fuck me, Chanyeol. Now. Shit.”

His smile was so large, you swore you could see all of his teeth. “If you insist.”

Then he’s pushing into you. The stretch had your jaw dropping, had you holding onto the bench for dear life as he found a steady rhythm. His dick had you feeling crazy. Every thrust pushed a moan out your throat, as your head snapped from one side to the other, and words unintelligently left your swollen lips. All you could register in your lust ridden mind was him and the intense pleasure he selflessly gave. You’d never experienced anything like it. Chanyeol reached into your fucking soul, leaving you quaking from overstimulation. You wanted him to stop, needed a moment to gather yourself, but he wasn’t allowing you a moment of rest. You were too far gone to voice it anyway.

Little did you know, you were also too much for him. Too wet. Too warm. He’d imagined fucking you plenty of times, but the real thing was indescribable. Unlike anything he could’ve conjured up. You were beyond anything he could’ve conjured. “So perfect. You’re so perfect for me, Angel.”

He gathered you into his embrace, holding your damp body tightly against his own. Lifting you slightly off the bench, he picked up his pace. Your tortured sounds were now directly in his ear, tantalizing him. His strokes grew messy, fueled by a desperation that bridged onto the animalistic.

“I’m gonna come,” you urgently warned, but it wasn’t enough time. You were violently cumming as soon as you finished speaking. Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as you stiffened in Chanyeol’s arms. Toes and fingers curled as your head fell back, eyes rolling. You started squeezing him so damn tight he could barely move inside you.

“Oh fuck,” he muttered, barely having enough time to pull out. He came on your lower stomach in intense spurts that had his hips jerking hard.

Depleted, he fell to his knees, unable to hold himself up any longer. His head rested against your thigh as he fought to catch his breath.

“Holy hell,” he groaned. “You’re fucking amazing.”

You’d been staring unseeingly at the ceiling since he pulled out, but his words brought you back to reality. “I think you killed me.”

He chuckled and spanked your thigh playfully. “Hurry up and shower. I owe you dinner.”

You struggled into a sitting position so that you could see him. He had a content lazy grin on his face, eyes nearly closed as he leaned against you looking so cute your heart started to ache. Feeling sentimental, you started combing your fingers through his sweaty hair. “Like a date?”

He became thoughtful, lifting a finger to play with his cum dripping down your belly. His touch reignited your desire instantly, but you brushed it off.

“I would like it to be, yes.”

You’re absolutely beaming. “Okay. I’ll hurry.”

He backed away so that you could get up to head to the showers. Right before you entered, you turned to him. “Aren’t you going to join me?”

He jumped off the floor, trailing after you with a mischievous grin. “And here I thought you hated cardio.”

[woman-respecter]

oh and one last thing. i cannot believe how leftists and queers are treating sarah mcbride. it makes me sick to my stomach. i can't stomach it actually.

bullying minorities who happen to be "privileged" i.e. rich, white, etc is so fucking gross and easy like bullying a child (and is part of the reason for all the antisemitism btw! since they think we're all whiter than aryans and that we are the most privileged). seeing everyone jumping with joy to harass sarah mcbride a trans woman who's an easy target since she's white and trans (white trans women bad unless they prove themselves by getting arrested for....palestine with jvp like hunter or they threaten to kill biden for cool points like ethel) for sucking up which. all minorities have to do for a place in this world is INSANE.

these are the SAME PEOPLE calling everyone a terf and being misogynistically distrustful of women/feminists because we're all a potential zio- um terf is so sad because 1) transphobia is a serious problem among cis women which should never be downplayed and a lot of cis women are transphobic. i know this because i've faced transphobia lite since i have a bit of an adams apple as a cis woman which leads to transvestigation :/ but 2) the "solution" isn't and will never be to act like cis women are the enemy/worse than men/to be misogynistic towards us either. 3) it's all so sad because these people are doing so much harm by being misogynistic "in the name of good/in the name of trans women" but they're just bullies who also hate trans women but get to hide it because they're #allies. they're "allies" who spread hate in the name of a people who want to be left alone and they spread that hate because deep down they hate trans people and want to make them look bad (not downplaying misogyny that is present in the trans community but yh). these people are trying to stifle the 4b movement in the name of trans women while trans women like veondre mitchell dont gaf (obv trans women are not a monolith). it's so evil. who needs enemies with "allies" like this? (also if you wanna deal with the transphobia the solution isn't to misogynistically try to shut 4b down. but they just hate women and it's never been about trans people so!)

anyways back to the topic. sarah mcbride really breaks my heart. they hate her and they've been treating her so terribly (theyre giving her the jew treatment 😓). no one has her back and it goes to show how the left is a lost cause. if you arent what they want, if you step out of line, they treat you like the conservatives treat you.

yeah i’ve been somewhat following the sarah mcbride saga thanks to the wonderful mariacallous and it is disgusting. i think in part what happened was that post calling her a “zionist” got popular so people wanted to look for more reasons to hate her. these days everything comes back to the Omnicause.

i also think that the trans girl tankies are kind of having a crab bucket moment about a trans woman being successful through grace and intelligence instead of posting graphic threats at people they deem subhuman from behind an anime girl icon on a microblogging website. they hate to see a class act thriving.

sarah mcbride is doing the best she can in a very shitty situation, and people who should be her allies are just making it worse.

[ritzcuit]

PART 2 of "looking at all the times datz says something gay or familial that drives me crazy." i guess?! should look at part 1 if you havent yet

soj spoilers ahead obvs. part 1 here in case u missed it

i skipped A LOT between the last post and now, bc datz doesn't show up for. a while. Well like he does a little bit but it's not gay or anything. it doesn't matter. what matters is that we're back in khura'in now, we're apollo now, and athena is here

and um, dhurke is arrested for murder. lol. but talking to athena in one of those "what to do" segments gets this.......

which up until this point i haven't actually seen yet. the noise i made. DATZ HAVING A HEART ATTACK? IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK!!! WWAAAHHH!! :(!!!!! THINK ABOUT IT!! THINK ABOUT DATZ SCARED OUT OF HIS MIND FOR DHURKE'S SAFETY. THINK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! i don't exactly know what "wanted datz to go to him" means exactly. go to dhurke? well it doesnt matter i guess. cus the way they know damn well datz would freak out and try to bust dhurke out of jail...Sniffle... Sob........ i love datz so much.... loyalest man alive fr dont play with me

and then a Lot more bullshit happens, but good news;

theyre at the defiant dragons hideout again ^_^ with the photos ^_^ if you investigate them, you get this! here comes datz jumping at the chance to talk abt his (friend's) family again. the day WEEEEEEEEEE all went out fishing. shut up. WE!!! i always knew datz was there, in my heart, taking the photo... earlier, dhurke says "the three of us [dhurke, aj, yuty] living in the mountains", but clearly datz came by often enough. WE! WE WENT FISHING! WEEE!!! its just so easy to imagine... datz insisting they take a photo .. i cant take it... how many times was datz there. fishing w them. helping cook dinner and dealing w two rambunctious boys...crying

he also takes the chance to be hurt over yuty again.. datz has a lot to say about nahyuta.

investigating the sign [sic] gives datz a chance to geek about how cool dhurke is. "his fame as a lawyer spread far and wide!" i'm sure that's how they intended for datz knows about dhurke's lawyer days, but again, i like to believe datz was his weirdgirl. he probably was the advertising campaign if we're honest 😭

now we're talking to datz directly again ^_^ asking him about the sahdmadhi law offices. "and i quote" is so annoying. i know he's doing a deep voiced impression of dhurke right there. Stop memorizing shit he says. Gay

then! he says dhurke mentioned he wants apollo to take over the offices one day...which cute and whatever, but this isnt abt dhurke's dadliness, this is about datz being such a FUCKING GEEK! he's talking to dhurke directly, right, so why are you gassing him up 😭😭 TO HIMSELF! HE'S DHURKE! "must've been because of you, dhurke!" he's too much of a good friend. he's convinced everyone thinks dhurke is as cool as He thinks dhurke is. it's insane. the fanboy behavior will never end

it's nice to see dhurke and datz interact too. we really don't see much of that in this game. dhurke always seems kind of understated with datz as compared to when he's being Boisterous Dad or Rebel Leader in public... how many quiet moments did they share together... just sharing news and shooting the shit...dhurke doesn't have to put on big leader charisma 'cause datz uplifts him no matter what. Gay

Why Do You Know That, Datz

well, it's obvious why he knows that. BC HE WAS THEEEERREEEEEE of course, as a friend of someone, you wouldn't be totally blind to how they raise their kids, but we KNOW datz was there running around! paying attention. noticing these things. crazy. knowing another man's parenting style is crazy. "that much i'm sure of" knowing another man's Thoughts is crazy. Gay

also just makes me emo :( datz rly got front row seats to dhurke's parental anguish. i can imagine a hundred convos just like the earlier one, where dhurke regrets it, and datz is trying to cheer him up, same as always ...

datz has a lot to say about nahyuta. (asking him about nahyuta obviously) actually it isnt that much. but it's so funny. him being a hypeman for both sahdmadhis is so cute... and also him seeming frustrated that he doesn't know Why yuty is acting this way...'cause he cares :( he cares for his yuty :( CAUSE HE HELPED RAISE THAT DAMN KID!

ill smack dhurke rn he pisses me off so bad sometimes. datz is out here worrying over YOUR CHILD! and you're leaving him out to dry :( datz really loves that family...thinking about him trying to nudge answers out of dhurke, but respecting his boundaries all the while...GRRRRRR he's too good for you dhurke. you need to treasure what you have

asking datz about apollo's biological father leads to another Datz Exposition Dump in which i lose my mind bc he remembers too much about this fucking family. it's almost like he cares for them or something. "dhurke's the kinda guy who can become%$^%&#$%^" THIS ISNT ABOUT DHURKE QUIT GUZZLING HIM FOR 5 SECONDS! STOP!

this part is key to me cause, again, WEEEEEEE. *WE!* it proves that datz had been friends with dhurke before anything happened... a lot of his Datz Yapping could have just been recited stories, stuff he knew secondhand, but being close enough with dhurke to help him look for an orphaned baby's mother While fending off accusations of terrorism..... it's key. real ones get it. it isnt just "oh datz is a family friend" it's "datz was there at the beginning of everything". before the dragons started at all! Gay

presenting dhurke's law book gets this. not explicitly dhurke guzzling rly but idgaf. I also refuse it being metaphorical. give datz a gay chest tattoo. COWARD! just imagine it. how intimate it would be... who was doing the tattoos for the dragons at that time anyway? a stick n poke by dhurke would be cool and badass, but then asking dhurke to do a whole chest piece on his best friend... dhurke's like, "are you sure? that's ... pretty intense," but datz's burning passion for the revolution is intense, isn't it? fellas is it gay to impart your personal symbol of revolution onto your best friend's chest by candlelight? because i'm making it by candlelight now? Hello

presenting amara's assassination file. "i got the whole thing memorized" i should smack him genuinely. ive had enough of this man for real. CUS WHY ARE YOU MEMORIZING THAT? his loyalty knows no bounds. also datz sad about yuty again.. omfg i know he is SO SAD about that boy

he is genuinely the sahdmadhi's number one fan. him being dhurke's boyfriend would be less gay than what he has going on now. like despite everything there's still Something to be proud of yuty for...even if it's being a turncoat enldkfngd ... datz cant help it...that's his lil baby 😭

there isn't a lot left in the way of like, anything, but there is this

datz coming in at the last second with Dhurke Can Do No Wrong again. not very gay but i do like them existing together :)

he's just so. ugh. i wonder what happened here so bad. how did dhurke and datz meet up at all? but dhurke asked datz to break him out and datz was like OKAY YAY ^_^ bc he probably was itchy about dhurke being in custody at all. sorry aj! objectively it looks bad but datz is, i think, incapable of seeing dhurke in a critical eye, so he just assumes dhurke's Got A Plan and he's totally coming back 'cause why wouldn't he :) he doesn't even think dhurke got caught again or anything. hes like. well surely dhurke did escape, because he's dhurke and he's the coolest most capable amazing perfect man in existence. Obviously

(those who know..)

:(

honestly, a little underwhelming all things considered, he bounces back immediately right after this because he is A Freak. well, no, it's bc he knows damn well it's what dhurke would have wanted, dragon yielding and whatnot. but seeing his sad little face devastates me. he tries to put on a determined face at first, only to revert back to this sad pensive sprite... datz... honey....

how freaky is it that datz was running around with the ghost of his bestie without even realizing it? well, that dhurke's been dead for so long... even "you're a sight for sore eyes" is with ghost dhurke, right?!

oh he got over it

"like how dhurke always wanted" WHAT ABOUT YOU. DATZ. YOU. AS A PERSON. YOU ALSO WANTED THIS. YOU COULDNT SAY "WE"? well it's in memory of dhurke, right? to honor his death? that makes sense. surely this is the last time he attributes something to dhurke specifically

STOP

and that, actually, is it. well roughly? considering i found a new section of dialogue that i totally missed up until this point, i wouldn't be surprised if something slipped my mind. I also have no idea if this was worth anyone's time, but i had fun with it anyway :3

if u read this far then cheers!! if u have any thoughts abt these specific morsels then tell me about them..!! again, like, i know it is Literally datz's purpose as a character to be the sahdmadhi lore dump in lieu of dhurke and yuty, but that just means they created an uncle who loves that family with all his heart. if we ever EVER!!!!! got any canon acknowledgement of khura'in again, which i doubt we will, i'd pray and beg for another crumb of datz content. please...

[schizoidcel]

# ZOOBLE HURT/COMFORT ☆

Omg this is so embarassing it posted by itself 2 FUCKING TIMES. give me a break tumblr please ... Anywhooo I accidently deleted this ask. Upsala. Sorry anon bestie. The request was something similar to Zooble suffering but Reader comforting them!

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

🖤 SCENARIO !!

warnings :: Angst.. obvs.

synopsis :: Zooble has been feeling more disconnected with their identity than ever before. They don't know why, but it's been eating away at them. They forgot that they don't have to suffer alone, though.

The mirror shows a reflection.

Who is that, though?

Zooble has been staring at this 'reflection' alot these last few days.

Is that really them?

Why do they look like this?

Do they want to look like this?

Zooble dosen't even know anymore.

Do they want to know?

...

"Hey, Zooble." Zooble didn't even hear a knock. Did they knock, or were they too deep in thought?

"...Hey [name]." they answer, looking at the direction of their s/o. Zooble already feels more at ease with their presence near them, but the thoughts that were making them feel hollow are still carved in the back of their head.

[name] steps into the room and closes the door, nearing their partner. "You've been in here alot... Are you okay? Or just tired?"

"I'm fine" 'Fuck. Was that the right thing to say?'

"..." [name] stays silent for a few seconds, then starts walking towards Zooble, stopping next to them.

They're both in the reflection now.

"..Uhm- " "- Is this what's bothering you?" [name] interrupts Zooble, pointing at the mirror.

"...I guess? I'm just, S#!|^. I don't know. I feel weird, weirder than usual. Just... What am I? And why do I feel like I never knew, even before I arrived in this f>&lt;;&!\|% circus?" "So it is what's been bothering you?"

Zooble turns their head towards [name], then turns back to the mirror, looking at both of their reflections. "sigh... Probably." they shrug.

"I see..." There is a pause.

And then a huge shattering sound.

"W-Woah! [name], what was that for?!" Zooble says, clearly taken aback from what their partner just did. The mirror is... Shattered. All the shards lay on the ground.

"Zooble, I don't want you to suffer like this. Uhmm.. Yea, maybe I shouldn't have destroyed the mirror like that-"

[name] takes a quick pause and looks at all the glass pieces laying on the floor,

"- but sitting in here staring at your reflection all day won't help you figure out what you are."

Zooble looks abit speechless at that, you can see in their face that they're unsure on what to say. [name] takes their hand, trying to reassure them abit more.

"And besides, we all love you the way you are! ...Especially me! So, how about we figure out this identity everybody loves so much once we get out? We'll put it on our To-Do-Once-We-Get-Out list, right next to the cruise ship tour." they say, trying to get any kind of response from their beloved.

Zooble thinks abit, then nods. "Alright."

[name] feels Zooble being more at ease by their hands relaxing more and hugs them, causing zooble to get flustered a teensy bit.

"And if you ever feel disconnected again, please come to me. I dont bear the title of being your partner for nothing." they try to joke around, attempting to lift Zoobles spirits up even more.

Ofcourse Zooble knows. They chuckle in response, "Alright. Sorry for making you worry. I'll... Try not to let it get to me."

Even though they'll for sure almost always think about it, Zooble wont let it pry into to their head as much. They have [name], after all.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

ׂૢ་༘࿐ Thank you for reading! ♡

BYE OMG THIS WAS SO FUCKING HARD. I love Zooble so much I hope I did them justice...

[loaisacult]

Hi, i saw your post and wanted to address the talking points. Firstly thank you for speaking out against all the fakers and scammers in this community! It is very much possible to fall into despair and give your life away to the tumblr fakers if you are not careful enough.

Now i am not saying LOA is not real, manifestation is completely real but there is no definite answer i can give how it works, it just does. I have personally gone through a spiritual awakening and thats only the cornerstone of my beliefs no matter how much loa/loa2/magick comes up. Its completely different from realization to discovering it on tiktok. Ik fellow shifters, shifter who arent in this community or anywhere found because they live their lives, here or elsewhere. Shifting is real, even reincarnation is real. But dont waste your time on throwing in on the void and ignoring your personal life. Tumblr and other platforms, and just the internet in general has soo much quantity of information, it makes it hard. Algorithms are designed to keep you engaged and show what you want to see. Obviously, everyone wants to make money, so they will cheat, deceive, lie and scam. Its up to u to decide what you want to consume. Being in this environment is very niche and it can get overwhelming because the nature of this topic is very very elastic and fluid. It is not structured like science or mathematics where you can find a concrete solution from a definitive problem, there are too many gray areas and it is relatively new. This information is guarded by the top and we have a very filtered versions of it. No wonder we struggle. Also people who charge money for this?! horrendous, please dont fall for this, it will not help in any way (obv exceptions are there but i think the majority is a scam, because in the end, all the effort falls on you and they can blame you. Take for example, going to a educational coaching classes where its ruthless and they take exhorbitant amounts of money in name of getting you the best quality of education whereas in reality they are gonna dump massive data on you (like videos/posts) and then tell you to follow and study, if you fail, its because you didnt try hard enough. SEE?! I have personally been here for years and it was not good as a young, naive and suicidal kiddo who was looking for a way out, esp during lockdown. I thought that i would shift away and forget all of this, but this is running away from life and standing still in front of death. Its useless, i learnt it the hard way, the period of my life immediately after lockdown was hell, because i was so deep in delulu world that it worsen the state of my external world here. Im not a perfect being here telling but the major thing i realised is that i have to led my life the best possible way, with my efforts and even with the help of manifestation. I trust subliminals forever though. it works like a gem. I, too saw so many of trump-shifting lmao, but its not a joke for some... I think most of us delulu girls think that future is gonna be better than the present, id argue start now. go the gym now, study now, work now, all these habits culminate over time and you should definetly meditate as this whole loa-magick-manifesting is highly spiritual, and find your own way of manifesting than coming here. I will not put my life on hold just to focus on the void again, i have wasted months on it and ik some are gonna say, you didnt do it right enough blah blah. But im gonna crave out my own path, idc it might not look like urs but im too stubborn to let go and i want a good life for myself and my loved ones. This is taking responsibility for your life. I am making a better life for myself in all 360 ways I can.

Yes. Loa is real shifting and the void state although I recommend researching them as shift = quantum jumping and the void state = zero point state or in Hinduism = Turiya state and while you do so also make sure you life is not going to shit because life being a hypothetical illusion doesn’t change the fact everything is real and suffer the prince of consequences under this “illusion”

[rocketyship]

Hey, it's the anon who sent the really long ask and I'm sorry to say but i forgot what i was going to write about AM so I've put off sending another ask hoping I'd somehow remember 3am me's thoughts. That's obv not going to happen, though, so here's what i can scrounge up!

Your AM is in the very unique position of not only being non-human but also the only person BE openly has, let's say a... "dislike" for. There are ways he could relate to the humans of course (treated like a pet, not given any real self-determination etc) but it's experience is so different in so many other ways.(Naomi and AM were both "taken in" by BE while they were still.. idk young might not be the right word, but Naomi had time to grow up a bit before the whole thing while AM barely had time to realise that he's a person. Evan and AM are both seen as different from the others by BE, Evan for being a man and AM for not being one but Evan isn't dealt divine punishment for the whole trying to destroy humanity thing etc.)

Point is that AM as the narrator would be so fundementally different from the others, i think that's why i wanted to write about it. Narration from AM has the potential to be even clearer than Naomi's would be since there are things about BE she wouldn't show in front of the humans and things the humans just wouldn't be able to see in the same way(code AM might be privy to they couldn't interpret and such).

BE is also the reason AM can see, hear and feel so while he didn't have over a century to lament over not being able to (like the original AM did) that has to change so much, like you've already shown some of.

Oh and like you brought up in the post after my ask: there's no way traces of BE's code hasn't corrupted AM somehow! How would that change things? Does the corruption increase over time or would he just use that as an excuse for why he cares about these humans now? Would he even acknowledge that he has been "corrupted" or is he still too proud for that somewhere deep down? There's so much potential for character exploration!

The parallels between BE and the original AM is fun too! AM torturing it's humans to reinforce and remind itself of it's hatred for them and superiority over them vs BE torturing your AM as "divine retribution" for his sins and a way to remind herself of her job as her sheep's protector, her love for them as well as a reminder to both herself and your AM of her superiority over him.

Once again, hope you have a nice day!! It made me happy you've enjoyed my asks, and the explanation of the sanctuary was a nice bonus for the one before the last :)

This ended up really rambly, but i hope most of it is understandable and that my interpretations aren't like... completely different from what you were trying to portray. (Also, I'm used to referring to the original AM with it pronouns so i might mess up your AM's he from time to time, so here's a disclaimer that i dont do it on purpose)

You have a very good interpretation of my AM and it pleases me that my work my nonsensical posts came across the way I intended. One thing I have decided moving forward is that the story will be told in chapters or parts told from each characters perspective, with the exception of BE, as idk how to write the utterly bizarre way she thinks with it also being understandable to a reader.

But besides that I really like how you worded everything here, especially in pointing how BE is the counter part of the original AM. Truthfully the AM of this world is so different from the original, that I wouldn’t even describe him as the opposite of the og anymore. And you asked about how her code has corrupted him, and it definitely has become something that has gotten more prominent over time. In the beginning AM for sure had some of his pride and his og “hate-everything”ness, but overtime it has started to fizzle out, mostly as a survival tool priority, in the present time (109 years later) he struggles to recall exactly why he killed humanity in the first place, but still knows he did it as BE reminds him. He is also aware of his love for the humans coming from BE and often has crises if it’s own feelings or hers.

One thing about BE’s treatment of this AM (Who I might start calling Amy Idk), is that the body she gave him is very-very human like, as in it may or may not contain real human organs and bits of flesh, to really give him a warped “human” experience. So like the original AM, she has starved and dehydrated him for extensive periods of time, as well as the severe phycological and physical torture, yet she also doesn’t allow him to really “wonder” around. Although as stated before a bit ago his senses and nerves are hypersensitive, so he is generally very cautious about the stuff he gets up to. But one of the biggest differences between her and the OG AM, is how she has discovered to keep him in place. As in like what many real life abusers do, she kind of love-bombs him. As in she treats him nice sometimes, as it kind of “assures” him that he deserves this and if he behaves well then he can go upstairs and play with the humans. Not really helped that he has figured out that if he’s with the humans, BE doesn’t do anything (well she does it’s just more subtle), so that in of itself has definitely contributed to his love of the humans, finding safety with them, especially Evan who he has a particular interest in.

His body has contributed to him gaining things the og AM probably didn’t have cause of his circumstances, or at least a more tamer version. As you stated he is “young”, although I wouldn’t describe him as a child really, just kind of immature. Like he’s kind of goofy when his guard is down, if not clingy. His body is very sensitive, so while that does mean he experiences horrendous agony, it also goes the opposite way. So his odd cuddliness and enjoyment of warm things isn’t just me liking the idea of him in a pile of plushies I swear.

Anyhow I love your asks and everything, you se so cool. Thank you so so much. Hopefully you understood this ramble of mine like you did the others :D

[familyvideostevie]

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. that was so much and all of it was v v v appreciated like???? i have like no friends who fuck with star wars beyond the mandalorian so hearing what you love about cal and the games is SO refreshing like yes!!! he def gives off Ellie vibes in the sequel, like obv they have both been through very different traumas and have had their own experiences but there’s just something special about these characters who go through loss and depression and desperation and decide to just keep fucking things up as they go along because they CAN and that means they’re alive and as long as they’re alive, then they’ve got a chance. and it’s just. so good to see. plus that tank top will be the END OF ME i stg i’ve put in so many hours just messing around watching him and his arms and i will go on forever if you let me. and i def want you to go on forever. but yes he and merrin should get at least one little kiss. as a reward. just a wee one. also - mullet cal. yea or nay? OH AND have you read the novel battle scars?? there’s a whole novel that came out between both games

first of all NO HOLY SHIT okay I'm gonna read that after i finish the game for sure. i have not delved into the star wars novels (though playing survivor is making me want to start the high republic stuff especially to prep for the acolye but god there are so many).

i love star wars! i am a lore girlie i've seen everything but rebels which i'm finishing now and the current season of bad batch and ahsoka (wanted to watch rebels first). i think the lore of the games is fascinating and to hear how they are made and all the rules the creators have to follow (did you know that if you create a new planet in a star wars story you have to make an entirely unique and complete biosphere for that planet?? like, climate patterns, animals, plants, everything. its so fucking cool). (EDIT: my fave show is probably andor because of how deep the lore is and how actually like, radical the storyline and the points it makes are? not what i expected from disney).

mullet cal. listen, i keep trying to put him in the swoopy hair but i keep going back to the survivor cut with the shorted beard cause that just HITS for me. he's so handsome and also needs to stop flirting with everyone. (if he and merrin don't kiss DONT tell me. i want to live in hope.)

there’s just something special about these characters who go through loss and depression and desperation and decide to just keep fucking things up as they go along because they CAN and that means they’re alive and as long as they’re alive, then they’ve got a chance.

^^ i love this!! this is so astute and rings really true to me. cal does mess up a lot but he takes ownership of it and the people around him rally behind him whenever he needs help (the found family of pyloon's is killing me). i love cal so much and i am so afraid for him because i don't know how much he values his own life beyond what he can achieve in fighting the empire. i guess we'll see!!!!!

[baltears]

hello spookyshai!! its cool if u dont want to, but i was wonderin if you'd elaborate on what you like about william? i just like thinking about/mentally rewriting westworld and its characters in my free time, and your fascination with william's got me fascinated, mostly bc i see him as a stinky bastard. so obvs you'd definitely have a more nuanced take on him, which i'd also like to develop for the imaginary westworld rewrite fic that i'm never going to write ;)) regardless if u answer or not, just wanted to say i'm a fan of your blog and i hope you're havin a good day!!

omg so first of all thank you so so much for sending this, especially asking unprompted about a character you don't even like and giving me a chance to explain my feelings about him which is just incredibly cool of you. i love and am obsessed with william so giving me any excuse to talk about him at length is like gifting me $1000. if you want to know more about my meta thoughts about him after reading this, (I'm gonna talk A Lot – sorry – but i can't possibly get through everything because he's just a very complicated guy and it's a very dense show), you can always look in my william tag. I have a lot of text posts about him, but I also often talk a lot in the tags of my own posts as well as reblogs. This is gonna be a lot of totally disorganized and unedited infodumping of a lot of different meta, but i've talked about all of it at length elsewhere too and I can also totally elaborate more if you have any specific questions (you could send another ask if you wanted, but also feel free to just message me about it anytime). I'll do my best not to get too emotional (lol) but it'll be tough because this character is so close to my heart. but I'll try!

this is a huge wall of text lol so i'll also be adding more bold and italics than i normally would just to make it a little easier to read.

so first of all let's be clear, he completely is a stinky bastard. he is a horrible, awful, faithless, pathetic specimen of a man. not liking him is totally justified. just wanted to get that out of the way. personally I think not liking anything for any reason is totally valid and justified, but there are certainly good reasons why a lot of people don't like william. he is not a good dude, at least not after a certain point. No one is obligated to relate to him, empathize with him, feel bad for him, whatever... like, no one's obligated to like anything, but especially this guy. sometimes people can get a little shirty about the fact that i do, like me liking him means i think they have to. I don't think that. I do love finding other william stans, and i am very unapologetic and open about my love for him, but him being widely hated makes complete sense to me.

sigh like why i love him so much though… it's kind of hard to even put into words. on one level it's just extremely personal, like, there are a lot of things about him that i really resonate with and identify with, although I know that sounds weird (it's definitely gotten some very shocked reactions before, lol). i'm a villain liker in general, i tend to be able to relate to those types of characters easily and it kind of takes a lot for me to really dislike one on a personal level (though that's true of any sort of character, i just tend to like the majority of the characters in any work that i genuinely enjoy regardless of how shitty they are – to me the only truly bad thing a character can be is annoying, like, the kind of annoying where you just want them off your screen). Characters being any degree of evil or shitty or problematic doesn't bug me at all, personally, I tend to feel no deep internal urge to have them 'held accountable' for the things they do, unless they exist in a narrative that genuinely doesn't seem to understand that they are in the wrong, which does irritate me when it happens. But anyway, I don't want to get too oversharey but there's definitely a very high level of just personal resonance to the character for me in terms of the kinds of conflicts he has, the things he struggles with, the dominant emotions of his life, etc. so that's part of it. also though he's just… a very complex and beautifully constructed piece of character work, so I also love him just on a technical level as a writer.

He has such incredible significance in the story too, being the thematic representative of humanity, both to dolores and to the wider narrative – his capabilities for good and evil are humanity's capabilities for good and evil, right. Dolores' opinion of humanity and feelings towards humanity are very colored by her opinion of him and her feelings towards him, and thematically their relationship is sort of a microcosm of the broader relationship between hosts and humanity and very much a central piece of the narrative. Even when it's out of direct focus it's being constantly referenced and pointed back to, such as with the caleb storyline in season 3 – caleb himself is basically one big callback to william in s3, parallels out the wazoo, and his function of turning around dolores' opinion on humans is very much related to him reminding her of william – hence why her storyline in season 3 ends with her remarking on how her memories of william as a young man indicate to her that humanity is capable of goodness, because caleb's capacity to choose echoes william's capacity to choose, caleb's goodness echoes william's goodness, it all goes back to that, etc.

So… I guess I'll just jump in lol. William's Thing, the fulcrum of his character, the main feeling or sentiment that underlies all of his evil actions and kind of his general turn away from the kind and gentle person he used to be, is alienation, right. He lives his whole life (as he tells dolores in 1x07) not fitting in anywhere, not making connections anywhere, not having any sort of community or any experience with love or companionship of any kind… he's just been totally alone and alienated his entire life. like, the closest thing he had to a friend was logan, and he hates logan. I think this is the major thing people miss about him – there's this perception that his turning evil was out of some form of entitlement, that he was just angry that this woman he liked didn't like him back and it's just an issue of wounded masculinity, but to me that completely misses the mark. Like yes wounded masculinity is a piece of his character (the way he performs and weaponizes masculinity in general is… really fascinating, I'll go into a bit more detail about it, but the kind of showy machismo that he displays is definitely a tool that he intentionally developed for his own use rather than a really integral part of who he is) but it's not at all the core emotion happening there.

To William, Dolores was not only a person he was in love with or a person he was attracted to. She was also his first and only genuine human connection ever. She was his first true friend, she was his first love, she was the first suggestion anywhere in his life that it was even possible at all for him to experience a sort of deep mutual understanding and care, that somebody could actually genuinely see him and let him see them. He literally just had not ever experienced any level of real emotional intimacy before, which is a feeling i actually think a lot of people relate to if they grew up feeling very lonely. And then ultimately not only was that relationship taken away, but it was kind of retroactively deleted. When he saw her again back in sweetwater, his thought was not, "i don't have this relationship anymore," but "i never had this relationship," and further, "the single person i've ever thought i could have this kind of relationship with is actually not capable of having any kind of relationship with anyone, including me, and i literally just made all of this up in my head." After losing Dolores he is not just sad and lonely – he literally comes to the conclusion that he can never have any kind of intimate human connection or be genuinely loved, ever, because the one person in his entire life he thought he connected with is not even a person at all, but just a thing. It's very much a rug pull moment on a level that's hard to describe, it kind of takes some thought-experimenting to get to that emotional place because it's a level of shock and hurt and betrayal and like, paradigm-shifting that most of us don't regularly experience (which I think might be part of the reason why a lot of people don't seem to really understand his character or be able to parse what's going on with him emotionally). Suffice it to say it's a wound deep enough that he was pretty much never going to recover from it.

After that happens he is completely destabilized, he loses all sense of meaning and self, and he never gets a grip on it again. He had totally reconstructed his idea of his life to include the genuine possibility of meaning, and meaningful relationships, when he met Dolores. And with the loss of her, all of that suddenly went away and he basically was just left with nothing. So that alienation that he grew up with is now not just a part of his life, not just a thing that he suffers from, but he starts to feel that it's inherent to him and that it comes from him, which is partly why we start getting all the anti-social behavior he displays later in life. He develops and kind of fosters that lack of empathy in himself not because he's truly incapable of empathy (as we see when he's a young man and at a couple of later points here and there, he is in fact very capable of it) but because he feels fundamentally cut off from other people – he can't reach them and they can't reach him.

So that fundamental sense of alienation is really what informs 90% of the things he does after that point. He starts building this persona, inside and outside the park. The real world feels meaningless to him at this point because the only hint of meaning he's ever had in his life was in the park, so he buys the park, and simultaneously starts trying to "win" at life in the real world like he would in the park. The real world honestly doesn't feel any more real to him than the park does, he just knows rationally that it's different and so he behaves differently outside the park… he builds all this wealth and power for himself, he becomes a famous philanthropist. Inside the park he starts creating this character for himself, this sort of hyper-masculine, hyper-competent, totally emotionally composed, merciless, badass villain. And he makes a very concerted effort to stay in this persona as often as he can.

It's all a performance, though, right. As early as 1x05 we have Ford pointing out (to his face! legend) that his barely-hidden desperation to find meaning in the park is giving the game away. In that flashback near the end of 2x02 we get a glimpse of what's underneath, because he's performing this cold, heartless persona in front of Dolores literally while his voice is shaking because he's having to try hard not to start crying as he's talking to her. Deep down he is still very wounded, he still loves her, he still desperately wishes deep down (as jimmi simpson explained) for her to just tell him that all of it was real, for her to be real and truly be a person the way he thought she was. When he's an older man that wish is still in there, it's just been buried very deep, covered up with a lot of other things, twisted. But it's always there, it's his most closely held desire, the only thing he truly wants, and it comes out all the time in the things he does. All his tormenting of dolores, and especially his desire to make the park "real" in order to find meaning – that's that. That sense of deep confusion that's always there in his character too, the constant inner monologue of "who am I, what does this mean, does anything mean anything, what is real or not real, what is going on," that's that too, that's his destabilized sense of self and reality and meaning that came out of losing Dolores. And by this point he has also come to feel, as he says in 2x09 to his wife, that there is something very fundamentally wrong with him, in a way that's kind of at odds with how we as the audience have historically understood him.

The thing is, we saw him be a kind, loving, gentle, thoughtful person. He certainly was not perfect, for instance his later narcissism started out as a sort of basic self-centeredness, but he was a fundamentally good-hearted person who put most of his energy into trying to do the right thing. But he starts saying that he feels like that wasn't the real him, that he thinks deep down he was evil and poisonous all along, that his turn to darkness was inevitable, and that there's a sort of helplessness to his evil. There's this deep sense of shame that permeates his character along with his loneliness and alienation and resentment. He hates everything, he hates the world, but above all he hates himself – kind of amusing considering the god complex he's developed over time. But that really does seem to be the underlying emotion, that he truly thinks that deep down he was always bad. It's very heavily implied that his philanthropy outside the park and his attention to his family, his kind of good-guy persona, is something that he constructed to try and make up for his true nature, and all but stated that he doesn't feel like he's succeeded. To him, no amount of good he does will ever balance his level of evil, evil that as he says doesn't come from anything he's done but something deeper than that, something immutable, something he is. So that's why we eventually have him getting to the point of going "I might as well not bother with this anymore. I might as well just be evil, because I can't change what I am."

I've also said in other posts that the things Juliet says to him come off as obviously abusive. Like, she's technically correct that there's some sinister things going on with his private life, but listen to how she says it. You're a virus, not a person, a thing that mindlessly infects and destroys and has no other purpose. And he agrees with her! He doesn't question it at all, he just says, yes, you're exactly right, I'm not a human being with good and bad attributes, or potential to do both right and wrong. I'm a virus. Like, again, I know people get weird about having empathy for villain characters, there's the whole "cool motive, still murder," thing, because we don't want to be excusing anyone's bad actions with a sad backstory (personally I don't really care, but I understand where the concern comes from). But when he said that to Juliet it just… like I don't know how else to put it, it broke my heart. He really believes that about himself. And later he starts to question it because he's not sure anymore if he actually chose to do any of the things he did… but the way his hallucination of Emily puts it, these are his two options: you are evil, or you had no choice. One or the other. He never puts aside the idea that he is a monster that does not deserve to live, and his suicidality persists from season one (when he encourages Dolores to shoot him in the head and reacts with honest disappointment when she can't) to the end of season four when he actually does manage to engineer his own death. He is deeply, agonizingly, pathetically miserable existing the way that he is, he seems to see his even being allowed to live at all as some sort of cosmic injustice. But he doesn't know how to change back to the way he was.

All that having happened, though, we also keep getting these repeated suggestions in the story that he actually is still capable of goodness somewhere in there. The narrative keeps asking what William is exactly, what his fundamental nature is, and keeps refusing to land on one answer, instead choosing to keep things ambiguous in a way that would be sort of odd for your garden variety villain. In 2x04 we see him experiencing regret, feeling empathy and pain on behalf of others, and acting genuinely heroic, only to later backtrack and say it didn't mean anything. In 2x09 Emily tells him he is in his essence "a lie" but makes no attempt to locate what the "truth" of him would then be. In 3x06 he tries to figure out the answer to what's going on with him again only to decide he still doesn't really know, in 3x08 we get this reminder that he still stands for Dolores as a representation of both humanity's evil and its goodness, in 4x05 when his host duplicate asks him what he is, he says "Jury's still out." He is too far down his current path to turn back, but he still does not and cannot definitively and finally choose evil, because despite his self-loathing it seems like he senses deep down that his other side is still in there. All that to say I think he's getting a redemption arc in season 5, if we get a season 5 – season 5 is supposed to be the do-over season, and the character who most desperately needs and could most benefit from a do-over is William.

Um, closing thoughts… I think he's really funny. Sometimes intentionally, like, I do laugh at his little quippy comments, but I also just think it's really funny how pathetic he is and what a mess he is and how he basically imploded his entire life on accident. I do feel a lot of very genuine care and empathy for him (obviously), but he's also such a garbage fire of a human being that you sometimes just have to laugh. He's just my funny little guy, also he sucks, also I love him and he's my lil angel, also he's the worst man ever in history and deserves to be drawn and quartered (said with love). You get it. :) There's dimensions.

Trying to think of other characterization notes for your imaginary fic… oh, did you notice he puts on an accent in the park? He does this fake Southern drawl when he's playing his park character, but it's not his real accent and he drops it at other times, kind of like how Dolores sometimes does or doesn't use her "rancher's daughter" accent when she's being Wyatt in season 2. Uh… Total nerd, at heart, seeing as "all he had as a kid were books." (I kind of suspect that childhood memory might not have been totally real, by the way… made a post about that recently that's a little ways down in my tag if you're interested.)

There are more things I could say, but I think I've probably gone on long enough for the one ask lol so I'll cut it off here. Thank you again, so much, for sending this. I hope you enjoyed and got something out of this response, but if not I still do very much appreciate you asking and being curious. I hope you had a great day too!

[sun-jelly]

idk how people arent seeing it. i thought the show was trying to make a very purposeful parallel between him and alicent - having to do it for duty......ive seen a lot of people tho interpret his reticence and silence as his own inner turmoil w/ his honor/oath and from what i gather from the actors this is how the showrunners meant for it to come across (dont how what the female director intended exactly) but if thats what they wanted, they did a bad job.

from the very beggining, i didn't see it like that, i was instantly uncomfortable. in the very best case scenario, he did what he wanted with a great amout of personal guilt and reticence, after wanting to get out of it, and he was absolutely used by nyra as a way to get off when she actually wanted her uncle (the way she startes over his sholder; this isnt about him or them) - something im sure he will be distressed to find out.

worst case and to me most clear scenario? he didnt kiss her back, tries to get her to stop, tells her to stop, she has to force him to even look into her eyes..... it is true that they had a lot of time, that he was smiling while taking his boots off, and there was a moment of passion when he first goes to kiss her.... apart from that? his energy is horribly off - and even a "deep down he wanted it" excuses nothing and just sounds like rape apologia when Most of It felt Very off.. shes giggling, he looks solem, almost pained, out of it, blank face, and like his head may be put on a spike (which it very well could)...... who is to say this man thought he had any choice at all to deny the princess?

what really sealed the deal for me was the next morning. he didnt want to look at her, meet her eyes, come near her... thats not just a man who is in personal conflict with his actions and regretful... it came across as much more than that, a much deeper hurt, a fear (tho he is also 100% scared of the consequences).

,,,, and apart from the parallel with Alicent, i thought it was also meant to say something abt her and daemon.. firstly, and in a quite fucked up way, their scene actually felt more like they were equals and both wanted it, especially as daemon realized hes not holding all the power and freaked out (obvs tho it can be said he groomed her before). but. in his fucked up way, he teaches her sexual liberation and freedom.... and it Shows that she had learned from him, from a man. She treats cole as men treat sex, and as daemon taught her - take what you want, dont think about the consequences, its for personal pleasure, dont mind the power imbalance.

Anon yes this is amazing. You pointed out things I wasn’t even thinking about! This is a great analysis. I watch the episodes every week with my friends and when this scene started we were all like ohhhh she’s gonna do it with the hot guard and then it turned into oh no she’s gonna do it with the hot guard. And it’s so obvious he is only doing it out of a sense of duty. He even said in the previous episode that everything he is now he owes to her so he doesn’t want to deny her anything which is not him consenting!!! It’s him being forced into sex through guilt, a sense of debt to her, and fear of what might happen if he denies her!

Anon let’s be friends

[omegawolverine]

Kenny or craig? (You said you wanted to talk about more southpark characters so! Please do!!)

HI THANK YOU IM DOING BOTH BC THEYRE IN MY TOP 5 CHARACTERS IM SORRY IF YOU DONT WANT BOTH BUT YOURE GETTING THEM <3 SORRY ITS SO MUCH STUFF AHHH

Kenny

How I feel about this character

dumb baby i miss him so much...literally love him with all my heart

All the people I ship romantically with this character

crenny is my otp for this fandom but basically any kenny ships i think are fun with exception of problematic ships obvs lol

have a soft spot for bunny, k2 and stenny tho :>

My non-romantic OTP for this character

dont look at me but i think about goths + kenny So Much. So Fucking Much. also kenny/bebe

My unpopular opinion about this character

wow okay hot take? maybe not anymore but it definetly was when i was in the south park fandom around 2017-2018 lol

tw: mentioned csa/hypersexuality ig? like not anything explicit just pointing out some stuff that kenny does that seem possibly csa trauma related even tho it's most likely just south park being south park

branding kenny as a whore is kinda fuckn weird even if it technically aligns with canon!! like ig it's not that deep since like its fucking south park but it just icks me out so bad bc like. all of the stuff in canon that makes him out to be a whore seems like stuff that comes from trauma bc literally no other character his age acts like that. and as someone who is hypersexual and used to be that age while being hypersexual I did similar stuff so just seeing people age him up and then call him a whore is so fucking icky it makes me feel fuckn ick. also he's a child why is calling him a whore something the fandom does anyways even if it aligns with canon like ⁉️

I dont wanna go hard for the show or matt and trey bc, again, its south park, it's not that deep, there is a difference between the show using that stuff as a bit since it's like satire and the fans taking it and making it into one of his Actual Character Traits but it's still like even then when I see it in the show I just ugh i dont like it it's just uncomfy n icky

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

CAN WE JUST GET HIM BACK IN MAIN PLOT LIKE MAKE HIM ACTUALLY APART OF HIS OWN FUCKING FRIEND GROUP AGAIN LIKE IK HE DOESNT REALLY SAY ANYTHING WE CAN UNDERSTAND BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I JUST HAVENT HEARD HIM IN SEASONS???

Craig

How I feel about this character

omg wow it's me would yall look at that 🤠

no but actually one of my kins, very epic poggers cool of me to be this man irl /hj

All the people I ship romantically with this character

crenny obvs, creek is okay annnnd I have a soft spot for cryde :] iz best friend shit

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I like the idea of platonic creek so much more than romantic creek at this point, once again, cryde, alsoooo craig/wendy lives in my mind rent free even with their negative 100 interactions. I just think theyre neat!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I have this same opinion for kenny but I didnt wanna say the same thing for both so here it is now! just also know this goes for ken lol

I've said this before but it doesnt hurt to say it again: badass craig does not exist. Craig's favorite show is red racer, he has a pet guinea pig named stripe that he prioritizes over half the fucking people he knows, he's incredibly soft for his fucking boyfriend and the only "badass" thing he does is...be blunt?flip people off? like what. king smoked in one episode and yall made him into this cool dude who gets mad bitches which, like I said in kenny's thing, is weird, even moreso bc he canonically has only shown interest in his current boyfriend and like maybe a girl every once in a great fucking while pre-dating tweek? also most of those badass traits are jus man acting neurodivergent asf 😭😭 like it's cool if you think they're badass but the jump from man being monotone, blunt and having the repetitive motion of flipping people off to he's a bad boy who FUCKS is so weird like why does this exist!! why!!!!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

god pls give me more character development. please make the development separate from his relationship with tweek. please give us more craig's gang moments im starved. crenny also pls it's been so many seasons I just want them to hold hands again or SOMETHING

[puppetsoftomorrow]

okay so ive seen some posts lamenting avas status as 'just saras girlfriend' and thats why they dont like her ... but i think this is a bit simplistic ....

ava's character development cannot be separated from sara, but this is okay!!! think about sara - how much her relationships with other ppl have helped her character develop - rip, helping her becomes a better leader, ray helping her become kinder, laurel helping her be stronger - because our relationships with other people help us grow as people. this is how the world works.

okay now i'm gonna go on a Deep Dive on Ava's growth, be warned lol

so ava's character development can be summarised as: two parts of herself are in conflict - the bureau part, then the part that loves sara, or the 'legends' part. this can be seen thru (what else?) her hair!!

in the beginning, she was all bureau, and we can see that from how she dresses - suit, tight bun. we can also see from how she acts - follows the rules and command structure, and hates the legends because they dont. loyalty to the bureau supersedes any idea of the 'greater good', because in avas mind, the bureau is the greatest good, when for the legends, theyre obvs very different.

as she learns more about the legends she starts to see things 'their' way - first going on the mission to the vikings, then especially when she comes and pulls sara from mallus' realm. "you needed me" - not the bureau sent me, ava does this for sara against the wishes of the bureau. its also no accident avas hair is out of is bun here

from now, ava's rarely in her bun, especially when talking to sara. she's beginning to loosen up, and opens up to the idea of dating her (i mean the sexual tension was there since that first fight, but now its something real) the dress on the date is another sign - not her bureau suit, but something to impress sara. theyre working out how to be themselves, whilst being with eachother (as you do in every relationship!!)

then - sara breaks up with her, and the bun is back. trying out the legends side of herself failed spectacularly, and shes back being what she knows best - bureau employee

then the clone thing happens (arguably the biggest turning point in avas character) and the whole 'bureau' side of herself takes on a whole new meaning. she was literally built for the job - without the bureau, she wouldnt exist, and she now has to question everything about herself? what is 'real'? what is herself and what was 'made'?

when sara kisses her and she turns away, the bun is back. she's resigned herself to her bureau self, because thats what she is.

when the legends are in salvation, we see a new sort of ava - hair down, but straight. a sort of mid point between bureau and legends, because she's not quite either.

when s4 starts we obvs miss a few months of avalance bonding (which i would have loved to see, but i understand it may have been a tad out of place for legends lol), but we see the end result - ava is confident again, confident enough to tell sara she loves her, confident enough to ask her to move in with her. she's beginning to overcome the parts that tell her she's lesser because she's a clone. sara's refusal sets in motion the anxieties we see in the ikea scenes later on - but for now, she's happy and confident.

so we've gone from bureau ava, to ava being in between, back to bureau ava, and now this new ava. the bun is gone, its not coming back - ava can't go back. it was sara's love for her that helped her see herself as this new person, which, may i remind you, does not make her just the love interest. relationships (not just romantic) can help us see ourselves in new ways, and grow into people we never thought we'd be.

then we have the start of 4B, where the balance between bureau and legends comes crashing down when sara and ava have their first real bureau vs legends discussion since being back together. ava is forced to decide between what she thinks is right, what the bureau says and her love for sara. losing the bureau but keeping sara? or losing sara and keeping the bureau?

i know people disagreed with ava's stance on magical creatures (and so do i fyi i dont like torture lol) but knowing it came from a place of fear, at the prospect of not just losing her job, but the very reason for her existence?? ava chooses bureau, and thats understandable.

then the ikea ep, which, omg .... help me ....

this is the ep that shows best how personal growth can come from your relationship with someone. its all about trust and teamwork. ava needs to learn that sara will compromise for her, just as she needs to compromise for sara. she also needs to unlearn the sense of perfection the bureau drilled into her: nothing (inc her relationship) can be perfect, but its theres, and thats good enough.

also: communication. the thing i liked best about trial 3 was that it wasn't 'resolved' - ava wants to settle down, sara doesnt. this is obvs an issue which comes up later with the wild dog phone call

then, the 'as is' bit - i'm guessing ava also ran through that hallway of avas, or at least, they're the part of her subconcious she's most afraid of - what is 'her', and what about her was built? is she just a character? would sara love her better if she was kinder, or sexier, or more action hero?

she's just 'as is' - not perfect. not a perfect bureau employee, not a perfect girlfriend.

then, when sara says she loves her again, ava learns, this is okay. sara loves her for who she is, and she can be that.

i'm not saying people need romantic love to develop, just that love and support helps you grow, and for ava, that love and support primarily comes from sara.

now, finally, we have s5. ava has left the bureau, and this obvs causes some issues - we've never seen ava drunk before, and she gets so drunk she sings awfully in a crowded bar. she's had the bureau part ripped away from her - what is she without her responsibilities, her team, her work? i think this season is gonna be about ava learning that the parts of herself she loved at the bureau - leadership, control, missions - she can still do with the legends, but also learning to adapt. just like behrad said - shes a foxy hedgehog!! a bit of planning, a whole lot of improvisation!!

now imagine that foxy hedgehog ava, living on the waverider, planning to spend the rest of her life with sara, meeting the ava we first meet, and then tell me she hasnt had any character development.

and yes, lots of these changes are related to sara, but like, she's envisioning them being together forever. sara is the most important person in her life, obvs any changes are gonna be linked to her.

i personally love the storyline of two strong, independent yet flawed women learning to love eachother and grow together!!!

if anyone made it this far then congrats lol. inbox always open for discussion / clarification!!! 

[viktorfm]

(MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL, NONBINARY) - Have you seen VIKTOR SAMUELS? VIKTOR is in HIS/THEIR SENIOR year. The VISUAL ARTS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say HE/THEY are OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT and DEPENDENT. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR THERAPIST. (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

dont. look at me. i know. anyways if it wasnt obvs i abandoned cupid (n darrow) in order 2 bring the two ocs tht he ws inspired by n ws a combination of bt. theyre better as different ppl methinks.

DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS TW

aesthetic.

old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptor’s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on one’s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.

basics.

full name: viktor phillip samuels

nickname(s): icky vicky :/

b.o.d. - january 2nd, 1996

label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.

height: 6′1″

hometown: preaker, vermont

sexuality: pansexual uwu

pinterest

stats

favorite song: disorder, joy division / it’s getting faster, moving faster / now it’s getting out of hand / on the tenth floor, down the back stairs / it’s a no man’s land / lights are flashing, cars are crashing / getting frequent now / i’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling / let it out somehow

background.

born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in preaker, vermont - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.

was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didn’t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.

as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like … sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. he’s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.

always has been a fan of ‘darker’ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid … not a good look for a preacher’s son, but he never really felt ‘in’ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.

drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.

just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. it’s always been his thing and probably is the only thing he’s good at.

being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - y’know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parents’ attention. a rivalry for affection.

in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.

his only redeemable trait was like … just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3d art ap course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.

because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.

not a very motivated person - wasn’t planning on going to college, much less going to yates but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they weren’t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!

he’s actually pretty smart but he just doesn’t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didn’t care for an extra course-load, but he’s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burton’s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.

has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just … not to his parents, who don’t really need to know.

if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - he’d tell you he wouldn’t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatiana’as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.

( tw death, grief, overdose / hospitalization beyond this point )

when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasn’t right. and it wasn’t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldn’t find her.

and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didn’t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.

afterwards he went on a sort of bender. he’d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.

his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when it’d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)

tatiana’s body wasn’t found immediately, and when it was … viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.

came back to yates to finish his senior year because … for the reasons above, he hadn’t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.

is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.

personality & facts.

the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears … that’s them!

a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just … love those black & white vertical-striped pants.

can appreciate the ~urban legends~ at yates and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ‘anomalies’ and ‘paranormal sightings’ because they’re just … a jerk.

fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didn’t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.

they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone else’s hair. other than that? they’re like … sort of okay. they’re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao

like okay yeah they’ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. it’s fine, they’re fine, we’re fine.

despite the fact that they’re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but that’a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like they’re this big fancy carnival show that’s like ‘come one, come all! fuck the dead girl’s twin brother!’ and it’s … a lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but they’re not fully aware of it.

the preacher’s whore son, basically :)

pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ‘dog-faced bitch’ and they’d turn around like. sup.

vastly impulsive … like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all their money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.

will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.

they’re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away hbdsjfngkh

will absolutely not talk about their ‘time away’ because it’s not anyone’s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatiana’s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasn’t gotten severe … yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.

will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.

that being said they’re absolutely not over tatiana’s death & it’s to the point of obsession over it. like there’s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isn’t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. it’s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasn’t been the same since.

emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.

will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then that’s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then they’ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.

but also emotional as shit and it’s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them what’s up. will bite you.

they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapists’ time … also is fucking their therapist, but that’s neither here nor there. so they’re not really getting the help they need.

likes to be intimidating but not … with their body or anything because they’re a twig but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatiana’s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)

probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.

generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.

i don’t know if there’s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they don’t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, y’know. :/

an introverted reclusive type who doesn’t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.

pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though they’re often like … partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because they’re a righteous mighty person. because they’re not. so like, a hypocrite!

wanted connections.

religious trauma? oh worm ;; three cheers fr <3 guilt <3 anyways uh. just people tht viktor hs known thru the church in some way even tho hes a fkn. freak now. maybe even family friends. 

the horror of our love :/ ;; hmm. any romance tht cld b toxic i think this cld fit. just rly a bad fit. viktor doesnt rly know hw to love so nothing rly lasts bt. maybe they try n try n nothing works bt they keep trying. cld also just be anything unrequited.

little fkn gremlins ;; theyre all evil n mean. bt theyre all friends. <3 

you are nothing ;; uuh. enemy plots. spicy enemies. rly bad enemies. rivals. they r brutal towards each other bcos nothing viktor does is ever soft.

fuck u dont pity me ;; uh. people who try to get close to viktor n he just. bites at them. he’s like no. bc he assumes ppl who r kind in response 2 his vileness r. theres smth wrong w them. n it might hv to do with pity. n he hates pity.

ugh. locals x ;; ppl who also grew up around preaker, vermont. the samuels r <3 well known folks n the uh. hm. the murder is an ongoing case. so they cld know abt it <3

dont tell anybody x ;; this is for soft plots. i dont know much about soft plots but. 

maybe i am part of the problem ;; the problem is chlamydiagate. this is a hook-ups connection. fwbs n one night stands. ppl viktor hs brutally ghosted. he doesnt acknowledge their existence outside of these events, perhaps. 

dont u just wna go apeshit ;; this is where viktor becomes a bad influence.

bt uh. anything. pelase

[stingroy]

Who do you think was the mist immoral character of Moral Orel Clay or Censordoll? Do you think there were evil characters in the show or were they just flawed people trying to do what they perceived as the right thing?

THIS POST IS LONG BEWARE

im bias but clay all the way

if ms censordoll was a real person i would despise her, but in the show shes really fun and interesting to watch imo! of course i dont condone book burning and censorship i just think shes a good character to critique and make fun censorship with, plus i love her voice whoever her voice actor is did a great job. to be honest i havent rewatched the episodes where shes a main focal point in a long while so i need to refresh my memory before id be able to really form a strong opinion on her that i would stand by firmly

clay is an abusive addict with no interest in anyone else but himself, he has no agenda other than to get drunk and be miserable. i mean maybe he’s “invested” in teaching orel because he’s his only (legitamate) son but then... nature still happened. clay often talks about how hes distant from his family on purpose and doesnt care about them so i dont think he really gives that much of a shit all in all. i know he had a difficult childhood (yet another episode i need to rewatch (its been years), im on s2e3 so i still have a ways) but it doesnt justify like anything he does. cool motive still murder yknow? clay reminds me a lot of my religious alcoholic estranged father so i DEFINITELY have a personal bone to pick with clay cuz ive been there.

when it comes to whether the townspeople are evil, i feel like that question really lies at the heart of the show, not just for clay and censordoll but almost everyone in moralton (cept for orel of course). i could go into that concept for the next seventeen years so i wont right now but i think between the both of them at least censordoll probably thought she was doing the right thing for the people in her town. not that anything she did was actually right, but organizing all those daily pickets and book burnings must take some effort, right? someone who didnt care at all wouldnt go through the trouble. she seems to like genuinely care about moralton being righteous, even if her idea of righteous media is completely skewed and wrong. i wouldnt call that evil, horribly misguided and incorrect definitely but evil? im not really sure.

again tho its been a while so my opinion might change as i run thru s2 and 3 again, and im really starting to consider that if censordoll was a real person i probably would consider her to be evil but that might be more of a comment on my thought processes and perception of people than censordoll herself... lol

i dont know if clay even thinks he’s doing the right thing by orel truly. i think somewhere deep inside past his addiction there is someone in there trying to do something for orel, trying to keep him on the right path in a weird and terribly unfortunate way. clay has made it clear through his actions that he will not engage with parts of his family that he doesnt care about (cough bloberta and shapey cough), and he seems to always make time for orel. whenever orel needs to talk to him, clay is around to give his lessons and “guidance”. maybe thats just because his lessons are a crucial part of the show, but i think that shows. some effort? some acknowledgement? that he doesnt show to anything else other than drinking.

unfortunately clay is a sick motherfucker. he’s so rooted in his own trauma and addiction that he cant see anything other than his own pain. and i do absolutely sympathize with that, ive dealt with my own traumas and addictions and you lose sight of who you are and what you value. sometimes people can get to the point where they lose everything they love other than the bottle, and then they die and lose that too. its a disease, and its absolutely not someones fault that they have an alcohol problem.

but clay gives into himself. he makes no effort to change his situation, bloberta even brings this up in s1ep10 when theyre arguing about shapey’s breastfeeding. she tells him to quit his stinkin dead end job and stop being such a crybaby and you know what shes mean af but shes right! all clay does is wallow around and drink because hes miserable and stays miserable because he drinks. he numbs everything out instead of changing his life for... convenience? image? fear? probably a combo

my real problem with clay is that he hurts people because he is hurt. thats where my sympathy dies and i no longer really care about his motivations and trauma. i think nature is the clearest example of that, but clay hurts orel throughout the show. like damn he literally beats the kid with a belt in 90% of the episodes. its just not justifiable to me at all.

i will say one more thing that clay does that i think really says something about him. everytime orel does something wrong, clay takes him to his study, beats/spanks him with the belt (we never see it so who knows how severe it is), and then talks to orel. and orel LISTENS. ALWAYS. clay doesnt have to beat orel to punish him, orel has such a strong sense of loyalty and obiedience that his true punishment is his fathers disappointment. orel always listens to what clay says without question, and clay still finds it nessecary to beat him. it makes me think that clay gets something else out of that interaction like vindication, stress relief, or something of that nature. its cruel, and its selfish. its like beating a dog. you dont have to do it to make him listen to you, so why do it? probably for a reason other than discipline.

clay and censordoll are obvs the two people we’re talking about but a lot of people in moralton do bad things for the sake of righteousness and goodness. like i said a bit earlier i really do think that question is The Big Question of the show, and i feel like many people will have varying opinions based on their own morals and life experiences. the intricate motivations and values of each of the characters in moral orel is one of the things that makes the show so great and so interesting that here i am writing a long winded “analysis” on it on tumblr a decade after it was released.

WOW i completely derailed myself and started rambling for seven hours but!!!

tl;dr clay is a bitch and the people of moralton arent inherently evil monsters but i sure do have my problems with them

[theboardwalkbody]

That’s me (in my nursing cap because it’s my most recent photo and capping ceremony was cancelled so I took pics in my house to send to nursing school buddies instead): Amanda - meme - Manda 28 NJ Tired AF And bored so I am answering this Ask Meme I found by @myautisticjournal​

What music have you discovered or listened to lately?

I’ve been listening to my Recently Added playlist on iTunes. Only “recently added” has been adjusted to include the last 28 months. lol But I did discover Blinding Lights by The Weeknd and that song’s been making me happy. Hurricane (Reimagined) by I Prevail has hit me in the Depress and next week The Used’s new album comes out so I’m waiting for that.

Have you made any new playlists since quarantine times? If they’re on Spotify, maybe drop a link?

I haven’t made any Quarantine Playlists because ALL my music is about being isolated and depressed anyway that like... what’s the difference? 

Make a three-song-minimum playlist of songs that make you happy!

Blinding Lights // The Weeknd (also makes me think of Data because I discovered it around the same time I started watching TNG so now they Go Together) Paradise Lost // The Used Dance Monkey // Tones and I

What’s your go-to show that you like to binge watch? Why do you like that show?

Currently its Star Trek TNG - because Data And One Day at a Time because that shit hits real. 

Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

It was just Star Trek and I did start watching. Interested because I wanted originally to watch ST Picard because Harry Treadaway but having never seen any ST before it didnt make sense (obvs) so I went back and started watching TNG. I didn’t want to start with the original series because honestly my attention span is garbage and I just was always curious about Data and so I started with him.

What movie(s) always comforts you?

Twister, Forrest Gump, The Lion King (1994). I’m currently wearing Lion King pjs lol. Pirate Radio is a relaxing feel good movie, too. 

Are you an arts-and-crafts person? If so, what types of art/craft do you enjoy?

I try SO HARD to be lol. So far during quarantine I’ve tried crochet, I’ve tried making string bracelets as if it was 2005 and I was in 8th grade again but I forgot how to make them and my brain refuses to re-learn its too full of music, nursing school, and data now. I tried coloring and lost patience. I have been working on a Quarantine Photo-Journal. Every day I post a tiny update and a few pictures (mostly memes since i cant leave the house and several Data photos lolololol) but my printer isn’t working right all of a sudden so I can’t print out any new pictures which I guess that one project I was really enjoying is out the window.

Do you have any planned projects to work on during self-isolation? If you’ve started any and you’re willing, share a photo of what you’re working on!

Here’s a pic of page like 3 or something lol

If you had to recommend an art or craft for people to get into, what would you recommend and why?

Man. Just do what makes you happy. I saw someone on TikTok making GIANT ass Worms on Strings and honestly. Pure genius. 

What are your favorite YouTube channels? Why do you like them?

Achievement Hunter. Rooster Teeth. Markiplier. They make the funny. Various ASMR channels. They make the sleep.

What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

Conspiracy Theory videos probably. I don’t really know. 

Recommend a book or book series to read!

Across the Universe trilogy by Beth Revis read it and fangirl with me I am so alone.

Are there any books that you’ve read multiple times? If you could re-read a book that you loved as if it were the very first time, what book would you choose?

The Islander by Cynthia Rylant. I don’t know why but the first time I read it it just transported me into the middle of it and it was amazing (I was like 11) and it was so mysterious and everything. I’d like to read that one like the first time. Also Living Hell by Catherine Jinks did a similar thing 

What’s your favorite book genre? Why do you enjoy it?

Science Fiction. Because I like science. and Fiction and space and robots and things. 

If you were to write a fanfiction about your own life, how would it go?

LOL The tags would be like : #depression #anxiety #ptsd #childhood abuse #adulthood abuse #i miss having sex but at least i dont wanna die #except i still do #twsuicideideation #badluck #dontread lol

What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

My brain hurts too much to pick a top three but I will say I am currently reading May I by @ladyfogg​ and it’s been giving me the squishy feels and I am loving it and ya’ll should read it. Her OC is relatable and also inspiring and I think at this point I don’t need to mention Data anymore. (But I did). 

Do you listen to podcasts? What kind of podcasts do you listen to?

Off Topic podcast and used to listen to RT podcast when Burnie was still on. IDK what kind of podcast that is other than ‘usually wild’ 

If you could make your own podcast, what would it be about and who would you invite to make a guest appearance?

It would be about anything and everything. I’d invite anyone for an appearance lol

Are you addicted to Animal Crossing: New Horizons? If yes, what’s your favorite thing about it so far?

Yes. My favorite thing has to be CUBE. CUBE I LOVE CUBE. I WOULD DIE FOR CUBE.

If you had to recommend ONE video game, what would it be and why?

Cube. I mean, Animal Crossing. 

Have you tried any new recipes lately? If yes (and if they were good), share it with the class! I’m sure everyone is as bored with the same old foods as I am by this point.

I am too lazy to cook even when I want to so I always end up getting take out or delivery. 

What is your favorite website to waste time on? (Is it, perhaps, tumblr?)

Tumbebells. (Tumblr yes)

How are you finding ways to stay connected with your friends and family? From video calling to playing online games, what would you say has worked the best for you?

Nothing. I’m sitting here wallowing in deep loneliness and it’s killing me. It’s just my grandma and my cat and that’s why I can’t go out or work (I am a Patient Care Associate and I know the hospitals could use help but my grandma is 83 years old and it’s too high of a risk for her for me to be working in a hospital and coming home from there). 

If you have pets, first of all share some photos! Second, how have you been spending your time with them?

LOLA. L-O-L-A LOLA. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOLA She doesn’t leave me alone. Her new trick has been LAUNCHING her 7lb body on to my back while I’m standing and pretending she’s my goddamn backpack. And earlier today she decided to pull the socks out of my sock drawer. Because she loves me. 

Share your general quarantine experience so far. How are you handling it?

Bad. I often forget to take my meds, we’ve been on “spring break” from nursing school this week so I have 0 sense of time and no routine and I’ve sometimes been going to bed at 4am, sometimes 4pm, sleeping until like 9-11 regardless and I spend 95% of the day in bed. I can’t be bothered to change, sometimes can’t be bothered to really eat, and I care 0% about showering and Doing Anything. lol 

I mean it’s been great guys. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I’m lovin’ it!

I did somehow loose 2lbs without trying tho. That’s a total of 7.8lbs lost since March. Only 125 more to go BUT THE GYM IS CLOSED AND IT HAS BEEN COLD AND RAINING.

I’ll shut up.

I tag @lyrslair​, @ladyfogg​ @datalaur​ and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it even tho its really long and I fucked up the layout so instead of 25 questions they’re ALL NUMBER 1. lol