#obvs rich is joking. OR he isn't??

[ckret2]

What's your stance on Ford as a person? Honestly, I believe that for thr majority of canon he is a bad person. But I believe he grew. Still not great though XD

(Love him anyways obvs)

I disagree entirely! I think he's equally as good a person as any of the other main cast.*

*Except Mabel, who, as we all know, is always right about everything.**

(**This is a lighthearted joke. For the love of god, I don't want Mabel discourse in my inbox.)

His biggest sins in the show:

After telling his brother that he was thinking about changing their shared life plans, and then discovering that his brother had gone to the high school that night for no good reason and gone to the science fair for no good reason and messed around near Ford's science project for no good reason and broke it and didn't tell Ford about it... Ford believed Stan did it intentionally and held a grudge for it. You know what, it WOULD be pretty damn hard to believe it was an accident.

Hilariously ill-equipped to cope with Fiddleford's mental health. A guy who responds to "I have anxiety" with "have you tried yoga, it helps me" isn't a bad person, he's clueless. "Character cheerfully enacts a bad idea while a loved one in the background goes NO PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" describes half the episodes of Gravity Falls.

Was successfully manipulated by a professional manipulator into believing his best friend wished him ill. Man, what a terrible person Ford is for being manipulated by a manipulator and saying cruel things to somebody he'd been genuinely convinced was trying to harm him.

??? Didn't say thanks to a guy he was still mad at after the guy fixed a problem he himself had caused. This is a solitary example of stubborn bad etiquette, jesus christ. There's half a dozen different reasons why it makes perfect sense Ford wasn't in the right mindset to feel grateful, this is not something worth indicting his entire character over.

He had high ambitions, which everyone seems to lambast him for, but high ambitions that wouldn't have required doing anybody harm! (Until the professional manipulator started manipulating him into harming the people around him, but we are going to demonstrate some reading comprehension and not blame Ford's underlying morality as a person for things he never would've done if not for Bill's bullying, con artistry, and outright lies.) Like, what is it that he wanted to do with his life? Use his talents to get rich and famous? Shit, that's exactly what Stan wanted to do with his life. It's what Dipper fantasizes about doing with his life. Even Mabel, who thinks about her long-term future the least, dreams big with her art & performances and is already making big money off cheap-ass commissions. What terrible people they all are, for—let me check my notes here—uhhh... unrealistically fantasizing about achieving success in life by doing the things they're good at.

When their dad accuses Stan of lying as a child, Ford puts his entire summer on the line to defend Stan even though he knows Stan is a habitual liar and has no reason to believe Stan is telling the truth this time.

When his new college roommate he barely even knows gets laughed at for proposing an outlandish scientific theory, his first emotion is outrage at this injustice and he drops everything to convince his already-despondent roommate that he was right and help him prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

When he moves to a new town, he tries again and again to befriend his new neighbors, and fails not because he's rude or a jerk, but because he's awkward as hell, tells terrible jokes, and sucks at identifying phoenixes.

When Fiddleford gets hurt around him, he cares about it, feels guilty about putting him in that position, doesn't want it to happen again, and tries his best to help even though he's bad at helping.

When he gets kidnapped by a weird holiday folklore creature, he concludes without even thinking about it that he's now in charge of protecting and rescuing the kidnapped kids. Yeah, then he immediately starts hollering at the folklore creature for trying to impose his religious beliefs on Ford and the kids—but like, Ford was right tho, he just had bad timing.

When he discovers that the Northwest family committed atrocities against their poorer neighbors a century ago, his first instinct is to march up to their house, find the first Northwest he can locate, and give them a piece of his mind for it. Like, this won't even FIX anything. He's just THAT OUTRAGED over the injustice.

When he sees what he thinks is a fortune telling fraud conning the people, he attempts to debunk her because he's mad to see someone cheating other people with lies—and when he can't debunk her, he just leaves her alone rather than harass her about it. Typically, if assholes think somebody's doing something wrong but don't have any proof of it and fail to get proof when they look, they decide they're right anyway and keep giving that person shit. Ford doesn't give her shit. That's the opposite of an asshole move.

When he discovers his Portal To Knowledge (And Fame & Fortune) is actually a Portal To Doom (But Still Possibly Fame & Fortune, Maybe Even Godly Power), he isn't tempted for a second to keep working on it anyway. There is no moment where Bill manages to tempt him. No matter what Bill offers, no matter how long Bill offers, never, at ANY point, does Ford have a SECOND of "but what if I did make a deal with the devil?" the way so many heroes in similar situations often do.

You ever notice that? So often moral moments in the show are presented as choices the characters make. Will or won't Dipper give Bill a "puppet" in exchange for knowledge. Will or won't Stan fight a pterodactyl to protect Mabel's pig. Will or won't Mabel hand Bipper the journal. Ford is never given a "will or won't he" moment over Bill's threats, offers of friendship, or offers of infinite power—he steamrolls straight past them without a second of consideration—because, to him, the selfish, cowardly, easy choice ISN'T EVEN AN OPTION. He doesn't even SEE it as making a choice because the possibility of doing the wrong thing is invisible. A character who wavers first before turning Bill down would look more noble for "overcoming" temptation—it's harder to notice just how much stronger Ford's moral compass must be to not even feel temptation in the first place.

Greed and pride never tempt him to join Bill's side. Exhaustion, despair, and fear never tempt him to give up. He bears up under weeks, possibly months of extreme sleep deprivation, physical torture, psychological torture, emotional torture, threats of death, threats of brainwashing, threats to his family. He doesn't hold up so that he can pat himself on the back for being a hero—if that was all it was he would've gone "screw it, this isn't worth it and nobody would know I'm the one who gave up" a week in—he does it because he simply knows it must be done and because he's so isolated (half because of Bill's influence!) that he believes he's the one who must do it, all alone.

Thinking he has to do it by himself isn't egotism or pride; it's helplessness. He thinks no one else stands a chance. He thinks he's alone.

And, when he discovers his Portal To Knowledge is a Portal To Doom, he immediately feels guilty. No trying to deny the situation to protect his ego. No shuffling the blame off to someone else. No "maybe the apocalypse could have a silver lining!" No locking the door and trying to ignore the problem. He blames himself for being fooled—he IMMEDIATELY takes full responsibility for his actions—and he CONTINUES to take responsibility FOR THE NEXT THIRTY YEARS.

He takes more responsibility than is even warranted—he treats himself like he's an idiot for believing in an APPARENT GOD who's been practicing manipulating humans for thousands of years and who had never given Ford reason to believe the portal was anything but what Bill said it was. He beats himself up to no end every single time his past with Bill comes up. He even keeps beating himself up thirty years later when he's shoving warning notes to future readers in Bill's evil unkillable book!

When he falls into the multiverse, he dedicates his entire life NOT to finding a way to rescue himself, but to finding a way to permanently stop the CHAOS GOD who's still at the threshold of destroying Ford's world and countless others. He makes himself a hated criminal in the process, just to stop Bill. He's ready to spend the rest of his life trying to protect a world he doesn't think he'll ever see again. He does it because, as he sees it, somebody has to stand in between the children and the obnoxious folklore cryptid menacing them, and he's the only adult in this damn cave with the skills and knowledge for the job.

When he gets home, he doesn't tell his family about Bill and his quest because he's afraid that doing so will get them involved and endanger them too—and because he's too deeply ashamed of himself and his mistakes to stand the thought of his family knowing about the horrible things he's done (AGAIN, WHILE BEING MANIPULATED BY THE GOD OF MANIPULATION).

He loves his great-niece and great-nephew the second he lays eyes on them; he nevertheless tries to steer away from them to keep them safe from Bill; and yet he caves to the very first temptation to emotionally bond with his great-nephew he gets, because in spite of his noble "keep them safe" intentions, he wants so so badly to be close to his family.

As pissed as he still is at Stan and even though neither of them can look at each other without hissing like cats, he still makes an attempt to start bridging their divide by inviting him to play DD&MD.

When the apocalypse happens, he immediately puts his life on the line to try to kill Bill.

And when he's captured, isn't fazed for a second by Bill's offers or threats... until his family is threatened. The exact thing he'd been trying to avoid & prevent from the very start.

And when he's reunited with Fiddleford, his immediate reaction is to point out that Fiddleford's well within his rights to hate him—which isn't a new revelation, it's not like Ford had to do any soul-searching to reach this conclusion, he'd concluded that 30 years ago the instant he realized Bill had played him and that he'd been lied to about Fiddleford.

And then he tries to kill Bill again.

And then he's ready to sacrifice his own life to kill Bill—and the only reason he doesn't is because he has a metal plate preventing him from making the sacrifice... but, Stan doesn't have a plate. If Ford hadn't had the metal plate, he would have gladly done the exact same thing Stan did—and he would have thought it was right for him and only him to make that sacrifice, because it's VERY clear he feels (and has felt from the start) that this is all his fault and he's obligated to fix it.

Over and over and over, these are Ford's two defining character traits: getting so pissed off at injustice that his common sense shuts off and he goes into terminator mode until he's righted this wrong as best he can, even when he can't actually do anything about it; and feeling like he's Atlas, weighed down with the full responsibility of fixing everything he's done wrong and made to believe that, for everyone else's sake, he has to do it all alone. Even when doing so puts himself in harm's way, even when he has to put his entire life on hold for it, even if it might cost him his life. Scrape off his awkward social skills, his loneliness, his nerdiness, his endless curiosity, his zealous love of the strange, his starry ambitions, his yearning for recognition and success—scrape his personality down to the bone and that's what you're left with. A man who believes in defending the exploited so strongly that it makes him a little stupid.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you probably don't think Stan's fundamentally a bad person, and that you probably think that isn't even worth questioning. Stan's made a whole career out of swindling people, conning them out of as much money as he possibly can, stealing, lying, committing a long list of goofily-named crimes, and attempting douchy pick-up artistry on women; and to cap it all off, he held the safety of the entire universe hostage to demand a goddamn "thank you." Don't send me any "But he had reasons—" "But it was only to—" I don't need it, I don't want the essay, I'm not arguing that Stan's a bad guy, it's fine.

But. You can look at Stan's moments of cruelty and unkindness, his uncharitable thoughts, his character flaws, and think, "that doesn't define him. He's more than his cruelest moments and worst mistakes. He's imperfect, but he cares so much and his heart's in the right place, and beneath all the flaws his core is good."

And if you can't do the same for Ford, it's not because he's a worse person. It's because we got two seasons with Stan and five and a half episodes with Ford—and while we saw Stan yearning to fish with the kids or encouraging Mabel to whoop Pacifica's butt at minigolf or crying over a black and white period drama or punching zombies to save his family, we only saw Ford at the worst moments in his life and under the stress of a prolonged apocalyptic crisis—and, it so happens, all the moments he was pissed at the guy we spent two seasons learning to love.

Ford's got moments of cruelty and unkindness, uncharitable thoughts, and character flaws. But, at his core, he's a good person, and he always has been, and he still is.

[f1rodrigo]

the mclaren boy mystery

l. norris / o. piastri

summary: in which your boyfriend is a formula one driver for team mclaren and when you finally decide it's time to start hinting to the world, the internet is confused on exactly which driver is your boyfriend. pairing: social media au || lando norris / oscar piastri x reader fc: jazmyn makenna

a/n: made this on a whim instead of studying for exams & doing hw. there will be more parts eventually... i hope you enjoy for the sake of my abandoned school work. (edit hours later) -> omfg i spent all day working on this (literally at the expense of my hw & studying lolol) & i was about to publish it when i went to my drafts & it was just GONE. i was about to be in tears. i tried everything & finally accepted the fact that it was going to be gone forever. BUT i just opened tumblr again & there she was!!!! so so happy. anyways hope you enjoy<33.

part two | part three

sweet relief series | valentine's day drabble

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liked by landonorris, and 22,019 others

yourusername fast cars n pretty girls 💌

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user1 i have no idea who these girls are but lando is in the likes......

⤷ user2 fr i'm so curious now

⤷ user3 landos girl of the week i suppose 🤣

⤷ user4 prob just ur typical rich girls who spend their weekends at races 🤷🏻‍♀️

yourbestfriend same time next week?

francisca.cgomes gorgeous girls

⤷ yourusername love u kiks

⤷ user5 guys..... i am thinking Thoughts...

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yourusername added to their story

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oscarpiastri Singapore, the new helmet and I are ready ✨

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mclaren ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

user1 LETS GOOOOO

user2 oscar piastri singapore gp winner has a nice ring to it

user3 sexy helmet for a sexy man

user4 SLAYYYYYY

yourusername love the new helmet osc liked by author

⤷ user5 now she's in oscars comments wtf

⤷ user6 and he liked 😯

⤷ user7 are f1 drivers not allowed to have friends or something

user8 absolutely loveee 🫶🏻🫶🏻

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yourusername we <3 singapore

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user1 guys this isn't funny anymore WHO IS SHE

⤷ user2 lando's gf

⤷ user3 SERIOUSLY?? HOW DO YOU KNOW

⤷ user2 calm 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i was joking i have no clue but honestly wouldn't doubt it

⤷ user4 would yall call me insane if i said i think she's oscars gf

⤷ user5 yes

⤷user6 hmm im listening

user7 oscar in the likes... after she was in his comments...

user8 full main post of lando AND oscar ffs no shame

⤷ user9 maybe they're friends like wtf is the big deal????

⤷ user10 obvs clout chasing

⤷ user11 literally how 😐

⤷ user12 misogyny thats how 👎🏻

⤷ user13 cmon not even close, no one in the f1 community had any clue who this girl was and one day she starts posting about f1 immediately people start talking about her thinking she's dating lando and then next post she's posting him and oscar like clearly trying to get people to keep talking about her. she more than likely isn't with either of them and is she just cashing in her 15 seconds of fame or trying to live out her wag dream

⤷ user14 not the essay in the instagram comment section bffr

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yourusername added to their story

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landonorris added to their story

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part two

part three

reply or send me a message to be added to the taglist 🤍

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Can I request something similar to your latest Lewis smau except y/n is Toto's daughter? It's controversial because she's younger, you know the drill

Sure!! <3 For this one I made Y/n a singer

Btw the song in this fic is made up lol

username1 She's PRECIOUS

username2 Y/n is so me

username3 Honestly that's so reletable

username4 I swear this girl will pet any creature she can, how isn't she scared of catching some disease?

↳username1 Have you ever heard of water? Is the concept of washing your hands familiar to you?

username5 Oh to be a cat pet by Y/n Wolff...

username6 A rich girl petting strays... Imagine how much of a better place the world would be if she put the same energy into some charity work

↳username7 Y/n is known for doing charity work when it comes to animals. Pretty sure some % of her earnings goes to several pet charities, organizations. Not to mention she's been vegan for a few years now

↳username8 Wow immagine if you did your research before commenting

↳username9 i love how Y/n was born into the rich life but has always been humble and used her money to help others

username10 Literally she gets a lot of hate for being a daughter of a billionaire like okay next time she'll choose to be born poor lmao

username11 exactly!! there's a difference between flexing on daddy's money and using your daddy's money for good causes

username9 pretty sure she makes her own money now;)

y/n_wolff Busy day at work 😋 look who I bumped into on the way to the studio!!

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georgerussell63 Look at you finally doing some work

↳y/n_wolff Don't worry, soon I'm back at my 2nd job (I just hang around the paddock looking all pretty and stuff)

georgerussell63 No, thank you ❤️ we don't miss you

lewishamilton Speak for yourself George, Roscoe likes when Y/n babysits him

y/n_wolff Roscoe is the only one who understands me for real 😭

roscoelovescoco Petition for an invitation next time you go to the studio

↳y/n_wolff I swear I sent one, it must've got lost on the way 🥹 the pigeon dropped it or something

roscoelovescoco Still using pigeons? That's not very vegan of you...

y/n_wolff Hey! I pay them, alright? If they didn't want to, they wouldn't do this job...

y/n_wolff (hey everyone this is a joke obv)

username3 Imagine what will happen when the haters see this comment section lol

mercedesamgf1 Can't wait to hear it ❤️

↳y/n_wolff 🫶

oscarpiastri Look at that last pic of Y/n with Lando

↳landonorris fuck you if I was an animal i wouldn't be a cat

y/n_wolff Right, you'd be a worm.

landonorris would you guys still love me if I was a worm?

oscarpiastri No

y/n_wolff No

username1 May this be a love song 🤞I need to her one from Y/n after her terrible breakup last year

↳username2 She had a boyfriend last year??

username1 Yeah, we don't know anything about him besides the fact that he broke her heart... Poor girl deserves some true love

username2 Was it a driver?

username1 I highly doubt it, they wouldn't be able to keep it so private

alex_albon Pls make it singable on track

↳y/n_wolff 😬 well...

alex_albon Y/n...

y/n_wolff It's a love song...

username4 SHE ADMITTED!! IT'S A LOVE SONG!!

↳username5 Our girl is in love again 😭

username4 I just hope he treats her better than her ex. Otherwise imma need to talk to him

maxverstappen1 If you like cats so much you should come over sometime

↳username4 Cats rizz 💀

↳username2 No cuz Max has had a crush on Y/n for so long now and I'd love to see them together

↳y/n_wolff You're a few weeks too late 😂🙈

username3 EXCUSE ME I NEED TO KNOW WHO THE MAN IS

username5 Me too, I just wanna talk... *cracking fingers*

y/n_wolff The one I prayed for out now, let me know your thoughts 🩷🕊️

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georgerussell63 Since when are you so religious?🤨

↳y/n_wolff He changed me ❤️

oscarpiastri Great, another song Lando will make me unwillingly listen to

↳y/n_wolff You love my music, don't lie

landonorris yes he does

oscarpiastri Alright, I know a few songs

y/n_wolff A few songs my ass, I saw that iconic interview where you and Lando sing my songs

landonorris he will never admit it but he was a fan YEARS before he got into f1 and met you

y/n_wolff Not like I stalk his Twitter but I saw a post from 2019 about me, it had like 5 likes and Oscar was one of them lmao

landonorris i knew you had daddy issues but are you okay?

↳y/n_wolff Yeah why?? Wtf??

landonorris well after hearing this song I'm not

username1 "They may judge the age we are, the differences they see, but love knows not of boundaries, it only seeks to be free" MY GIRL IS A POET 😭

username2 I'm not ready to meet this man after hearing "He's walked through fire, faced his fears, but in his heart, there's room for tears" 😭

carmenmmundt Truly in love with the lyrics, they're out of this world, out of this century

↳y/n_wolff Thank you love 🥹

lewishamilton The chorus got me in a chokehold💜

↳y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for, in the dead of night, a love like ours, hidden from sight. If people knew, they'd say it's wrong, but in his arms I belong🥹

↳username4 What is Lewis doing here...?

username5 Chill, he drives for Mercedes. George also commented in case you didn't notice

username3 Lyrics so beautiful miss girl was born in the wrong generation

↳username2 fr it sounds straight from 20th century poetry, she's too pure for the age of quick tinder hookups

username6 I knew what her father was like but damn...that song screams daddy issues...

↳username7 Y/n said music is her therapy, that's just how she chooses to express her emotions

username8 When are we going to talk about this part of the lyrics?? "In his eyes, reflections of victory, every triumph and mystery. He's raced through life, faced every curve"?? THIS HAS TO BE ABOUT A DRIVER

↳username9 Y/N AND MAX???

username10 me when I'm delusional

↳username11 I wish it was about Max, but it's certainly about an older guy. I mean, Max is a few years older than Y/n, but the song feels like the guy is in his 30s

lewishamilton Summer break = days spent at the beach

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username1 Sir Lewis Hamilton casually adding his boss' daughter to his vacation pics 🤨

↳username2 fr did he think we wouldn't notice?

georgerussell63 Blink twice if Y/n forced you to post the last photo

↳lewishamilton She kindly asked and I agreed.

y/n_wolff Exactly. That's what I do. I ask. Kindly.

username3 SO HER SONG IS ABOUT HIM??

↳username4 Seems like it 🥹

username3 idk how I feel about it tbh... she's too young for him

username5 Yeah imo she'd be better with Max

username4 Shut the hell up guys, let them be happy, there must be a reason they're together

landonorris that's called soft launching, did you know that?

↳y/n_wolff Wdym?? We're just team bonding during the summer break

georgerussell63 Then why wasn't I at the team bonding?

y/n_wolff Uhhhh I'll call you back later, I'm driving through a tunnel 😬

username6 She's too young for him, will have her fun and move onto the next guy (Max?)

↳username7 You're the reason why so many celebs prefer to keep their relationships a secret

username8 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??

↳username6 Does he even know? 💀 AFAIK he doesn't have social media

username8 But it's impossible that he wouldn't know, right...?

y/n_wolff I love you but what is this basic caption?😭

↳lewishamilton I'd rather like to focus on how pretty you look

y/n_wolff I LOVE YOU 😭

landonorris simp

y/n_wolff Stfu Lando, you wish you could hang out with us at the beach

username3 Lmao didn't expect Lando calling the 7 times world champion a simp but here we are

username9 Okay guys but... The girlfriend effect? How will the girlfriend effect work in this case if Lewis is a fashion icon already?

↳username10 There must be a way for an upgrade, there always is

y/n_wolff Sorry, he's all perfect already🫶I guess the gf effect only applies to boys and my man is a real man🗡

maxverstappen1 Have fun ☀️ see you back on track soon

↳username6 Something doesn't feels right seeing Max in this comment section...

username10 Get your shit together, him and Y/n never had a thing, y'all made it all up based on one interview Max gave years ago

mercedesamgf1 🌞😎

y/n_wolff He's the one I prayed for

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lewishamilton I love you babe but what is this basic caption?

↳y/n_wolff You're learning from the best, I see

georgerussell63 Good to know you're still team bonding 👍

↳y/n_wolff Yeah, we bonded really hard last night😌

georgerussell63 TMI

oscarpiastri The last pic 🤓

↳landonorris she's getting bold isn't she

y/n_wolff I don't have reasons to be shy tho, do I?

landonorris girl made one good song and made it her whole personality

↳y/n_wolff This is girlhood, you'd never get it

landonorris btw this is hard launching but in a 'we don't give a fuck' way

↳y/n_wolff Well, we don't 🤷‍♀️

username1 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LITTLE Y/N😭

↳username2 She grew up 😭

username3 I love how nonchalant they're about it

carmenmmundt Someone's been working out🤭

↳y/n_wolff Now I have a personal trainer 😌

username4 WHAT DID TOTO SAY??

↳username5 Bet we're gonna see much more of smashing his headset after the break

username6 How is she so casual about it? We just found out she's dating LEWIS MF HAMILTON and she's acting like that's nothing

↳username3 I guess it is 'nothing' for her, she's known Lewis since she was really young

username7 That's what's giving me the biggest ick because this man has known her since she was an early teen and suddenly decided to date her?

username3 Yeah but she's in her 20s now, she's a consenting adult

username7 That's not normal, this is the definition of grooming

username3 I'm sorry I'm too european for your bullshit

username8 Lewis said fuck it I'm going to Ferrari next year anyway, might as well shoot my shot 💀

username9 Max Verstappen has been really silent

↳username10 Now he'll compete with Lewis not only for the championship but also for Y/n 😂

username9 It would be such a win

username11 Can y'all MaxY/n shippers shut up? I swear y'all are worse than Lestappen shippers

y/n_wolff Roscoe working hard while his dad socializes with his grandpaw 🥳

view all comments

username1 I didn't even realize now that Y/n and Lewis are together it means Toto is Roscoe's grandpaw 😭

georgerussell63 Working hard or hardly working?

↳y/n_wolff No comment...

landonorris really shocked to see toto still gets along with lew

↳username2 Lando saying what we all think lol

↳y/n_wolff Dad was actually happy!!

landonorris does he hope you'll convince lew to stay in mercedes?

y/n_wolff How am I supposed to know 🤷‍♀️ you go talk to him

oscarpiastri New songs when?

↳y/n_wolff Soon!! (I haven't started working on them)

username2 I'm actually happy to see them happy and that Toto accepts Lewis as Y/n's boyfriend

↳username3 It's still weird 💀 imagine calling a 40 year old your 'boyfriend'

username2 People are allowed to find love at any age

username3 Lewis is closer in age to Toto than to Y/n

username2 And? Y/n isn't a child, she's a grown woman, if Lewis is what she wants, who are we to judge?

username3 It's just icky... It's not gonna last long

username4 I still can't stop thinking what could be if Y/n was dating Max 🥹

↳username5 fr my dream couple

username6 Y'all see how Y/n predicted people's reaction in her song? "If people knew, they'd say it's wrong" and y'all can't stop yapping about imaginary grooming or what her and Max could've been

↳username7 Girl should've kept it a secret, I feel sorry for them 🥲

↳username8 But in his arms I belong

y/n_wolff Okay everybody, I didn't want to talk about it, but you give me no choice. Lewis and I are in love, there was no grooming involved, I make my own decisions. I really wanted to cherish our love with my new music, but you make me re-think it. I don't feel excited to share our love with you anymore.

↳lewishamilton Don't worry about them darling ❤️

↳danielricciardo FEA

↳landonorris You have our support guys

↳oscarpiastri Don't let these comments get to you, they don't matter

↳georgerussell63 I know I usually act like a snappy older brother, but I love to see you happy (even if Lewis is the reason)

↳maxverstappen1 Haters are always gonna hate, but they don't deserve your attention

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER HDD CH. 2 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | events | ch. 1 | ch. 3

leave it to me to make everything angsty

i'm a mammon shooter til i die

all he wants is to be rich (obv) and appreciated by his brothers :(

it seems as though he feels like they see him as a joke or as someone they can't look up to. like yes he's immature at times and a bit of an airhead but he means well. most of the time. but even still, he's a good big brother. i wish the devs touched on that side of him more, and i wish his brothers expressed their appreciation towards him in a way that isn't immediately followed by either a backhanded compliment or an outright insult

like yes, it's clear they love him and he loves them. but it's gotta be exhausting on both ends, especially if you're on the receiving end and constantly being (sometimes affectionately) shit on as someone who's already doubtful of their significance to their family and friends' lives

i'm lowkey surprised it was just levi and not lucifer there too...maybe it's bc he knows he's lucifer's favorite deep down and doesn't need it to be reiterated in his ideal world

attic club sandwich...get it? cuz you're sandwiched between...but also...

...i'm sorry. moving on

NEVERMIND NO MOVING ON WHY ARE THEY BOOTY BUTTERBALL ASS NAKED ????? i get that beel loves having his titties out but i did nawt need to be jumpscared like that

satan vehemently denying asmo being his favorite brother and then asmo appearing first in his dream world is PEAK sibling shit

i love them

also asmo's little bow having a mix of pink and green in his ideal world ??? reminiscent of asmo painting his nails pink and green for satan irl ???? SOBS the brothers ever

and lucifer also being there :((((

oh baby 😭 him and mams really just want acceptance and the ability to indulge in what makes them happy

"i couldn't be more proud" :((((( he's already proud of you

i wanna kiss him on the forehead and tell him he's doing a great job

PLEASEEEEEE not luci just wants to fuck on peace 😭 are we sure asmo's the avatar of lust bc lucifer is always on demon time (no pun intended)

like he's arguably the horniest out of all of them.

"business as usual" is a CRAZY thing to say when witnessing a dream of propositioning and borderline foreplay in front of your man's brother /hj

fym "hush-hush" ?? horny yandere type shit. doesn't he have any other friends ??? /j

ig sorcerers can be on demon time too. we love to see it

i hate an ass kissing tsundere...BE UPFRONT

it makes me sad that the only interactions we have with them are side stories or hard lessons or devilgram, like just make them a part of the main cast atp. the devs have to know that everyone wants it

my beloved girlfriend giving me advice for a long journey

MAKE HER DATEABLE OR SO HELP ME

oh :(

simeon makes me so sad. so unbelievably sad. i just want him to be happy

ik he regrets not falling with the brothers, and he beats himself up about it constantly. it's why he helped them during the war. i already went on a tangent about his struggle to pick a side before the war here but GOD it still hurts reading this

barbatos' ideal world revolving around diavolo is unsurprising, but also very telling of his character. he's so focused on everything and everyone around him, making sure space-time stays stable, that he doesn't have time to think about anything but that. not even when it pertains to himself and his happiness

barbatos' happiness revolves around fulfilling his duties as butler/subordinate, but also making sure he stays sane long enough to ensure that the instability and semi unpredictability of time itself doesn't prevent diavolo's wishes from coming true

[forgottencormac]

dklsjflkasjfkljsdfa SCREAM honestly???? i am SOOOOOO sorry abt cormac truly lakjsdfkljsdf both sebastian and aoifedeserve better than cormac crashing what they've got like this laksjdfkldsjf ok so the first question that jumped out at me here is like...i do think its pr inevitable that, if cormac sees poor aoife, he ~will be trying to flirt at her (SOB) tbf i feel like his vers of this is so weird and jokey that it could def be overlooked bc he just ~so casually assumes~ they're in love w him that he truly isn't even ~trying so he just walks in like 'hello, loml' so you could easily just assume he's joking bc he's soooo confident/casual abt it ++ ~his heart really isn't in it at all bc lbr he only has eyes for cassimir ;DDD no but he's a mess lakjsdfjksdf but also???? he isn't joking???? he just acts like he's been married to her for 30 years and stillloves her as a friend (bc he does!) but he's fallen out of romantic love w her and is emotionally cheating w his boss on the dl (yes this is cassimir ;D)

BUT ANYWAYYYY so like!!!!! i do feel like its this weird thing where like the varmonts have been around and can probs see pr clearly that he would 100% marry her tmrw!!!!!! but also that he def isn't the guy whose gonna sweep her off her feet like...at all lakjsdflkjsdfjk but also he ~is rich and ~does have a seat and ~can/would marry her tmrw so like!!!!!! #itscomplicated so like...yeah ;ladjskfjldf (ngl mom and i had brunch cocktails and i am FEELING it so like...figured it was the perfect time to write cormac bc i feel like his brain operates as if he's permanently tipsy ;DDDD but the trade off is that im not absolutely sure im being coherent but!!!! here we are!!! laksjdfkljsdf anyway just lmk if you'd like me to uhhh clarify anything im saying lakjsdfkljsdfkj also i keep losing the plot of what im saying but anyway!)

OH YEAH ok so like!!!!!!! you said that sebastian for ~many reasons wouldn't like cormac flirting w aoife...do you think he tries to like...distract him? does he just let that happen? like...how do you think he reacts? what do you think he does? re: this?

oooh also we chatted in the replies it seems...

forgottenaoife Jun 5 Not cormac’s big mouth being how Aoife finally realizes @forgottensebastian likes her more than just as friends 😬 forgottencormac Jun 6 Original Poster @forgottenaoife SCREAM!!! i can't believe cormac's somehow out here playing unwitting wingman to the varmont boys while literally tryna get their girls interested in other ppl #amazing (me, jess day voice: what is HAPPENING alkjsdfkljsdf jkasdf shhhh i love it tho!) but anyway alkdsjfkjldf imagine learning smth like that in this context SHRIEK asldkfjakdlsjkf and cormac just grinning w no idea he's just let the cat out of the bag lakjsdflkjdsfjkdsf forgottensebastian Jun 7 @forgottenaoife @forgottencormac this is not how i wanted her to find out!!!!!!!! (cormac was NEVER part of that plan at all lmao) forgottenaoife Jun 7 @forgottensebastian I mean… is @forgottencormac part of ANY (legitimate) plan??? forgottencormac Jun 8 Original Poster @forgottensebastian @forgottenaoife cormac: 'um...rude???? IM THE PERFECT WINGMAN!! why ~wouldn't you want me to be an integral part of your love life???? sheesh, no wonder ppl don't like the varmonts' no but honestly poor sebastian bc i can guarantee cormac is not handling this w any grace whatsoever bc that's not a quality he possesses alskdjflkdsjfjkdsf also...its true -- cormac is barely a part of his ~own plans lbr alkjfkldsjfkf @forgottensebastian not ppl LITERALLY saying smth positive for cormac like well at least he isn't cassimir alksdjfklsjdflkjsdf

sfasdf first i would like to point out that cormac is HORRIFIED ~anyone wocould think that him ~not being cassimir~ could ever possibly be a ~good thing bc obv cassimir is the best thing ~anyone could be alsdkfjldksjf but!! we are not here to discuss that! laksdjfklsdf

oh wait re: my above question you already answered my question! he tries to distract cormac! o k so cormac deffff does not recognize this and...frankly i think he might think sebastian is (besides cassimir!!!!) his bff/wanna-be bff lkajsdflkjsdfkajlsdf they're cousins (fottage not found) and anyyyy time sebastian sees him (he must not notice him the other times a when aoife ~isn't [by complete coincidence, ofc!] present cormac guesses! which is impressive given whatever cormac is ~doubtlessly wearing, and he is just super needy!!!! and gets really insecure when he sees cormac talking to other ppl and needs to be reassured that cormac hasnt forgotten theyre so close bc thats why ~cormac would act like that if it were cassimir lajksflkjsdfklsdf and why else would sebastian behave like that??? lkajsdfkljsdkjf its exhausting being this popular ppl!!!! lkajsdflkjsdkfjdjf

its also kinda awkward frankly bc like???? cormac def likes sebastian!!!! how could you noT??? but also like??? lbr cassimir and cassandra have a much higher rank in cormac's heart and like????? he ~doesn't actually view sebastian as a bestie even tho sebastian ~clearly views ~cormac as a bestie alksjdfkljsdf (SCREAM) and is frankly a bit clingy and overbearing abt it (just like cormac would be!) which is annoying esp when he's ryna get his flirt on w his #1 girl laksjdflkjsdf but the guy ~is a prince and he ~does like him and deep down cormac does have a kind heart and doesn't wanna hurt him yknow? so as a result, i think it actually ~is quite possibly that cormac ~hasn't outted sebastian re: his feelings yet so...yaya!! i do say ~yet tho bc lbr unless she finds out some other way first (v possible! im not here to meddle in ur plots! <33333) its lowkey inevitable that cormac ~will asp bring it up #facepalm

BUT that being said, rosie defff also throws herself on this grenade a good bit bc she ships sebastian/aoife and cormac ribbing them abt it is NOT the way aoife she find out!!!!!!!!! plus she can defffff keep him occupied for some time talking abt fashion and gossip etc even if they have WILDLY different fashion senses!!!! laskjdfkjsdf (besides he's probs unwittingly employing her smdh aka he's employed the malconaire's talented seamstress and rosie is kindly relaying messages that he need not speak to so lowly a person himself!) so yeah if cormac isn't the way you guys want her to find out this (FOR SOME REASON!!! ;DDDD) we have any of a number of excuses as to why he hasn't outted this yet ;aljsfkjlsdjf but it may be an ic stress poor sebastian may be facing any time cormac pops up in the same room as aoife (bc poor sebastian ~clearly doesn't have enough worries in his life!)

not poor sebastian being hypothetically jealous of CORMAC of all ppl!!!! SOBBB lakjsdfkljdskjf ok so @forgottenaoife how do you think aoife would act towards cormac (who is absolutey tryna flirt w her/potentially propose now that eithne's off the table!) in sebastian's presence? so we can figure out (whether intentionally or ~not) she'd give more reason for sebastian to be ~frustrated by cormac's unwanted advances or jealous bc they appear to ~be wanted? lajksdfkjsdjf i do think this'll have some impact on things potentially like!!!! for example, depending how you think jealousy vs frustration might present in sebastian etc, lizzy, cormac might be left thinking that sebastian has a really forceful personality for example if he's in a tense state around him mostly or whatever (cue valentina talking abt how he's terrifiying, cormac nodding sagely behind her tho ~he wasn't frightened bc he knows sebastian loves him sooooo much!!!! lkajsdklfjsdf but he can see how a woman would be frightened!) etc! or whatever sooo yeah lkajsdflkjsdf

OOC | Cormac & Sebastian

these two have smth in common in addition to their mutual cousin, and that's both their top pick for a wife!! well...actually, for cormac preference #1 was eithne (and sonya before her), but as soon as he knows cassimir's laid claim there, aoife will be so lucky as to have that title transferred to ~her lkajsfkljsdf

anyway, doubtless this will instill nothing short of feelings of bliss in sebastian to know that aoife will be so lucky as to have the affections of cormac to look forward to but here we are ;DDDDD

fortunately, valentina's gonna come in as an anti-wingman for cormac on this one bc she doesn't want anyone carrying off her v best serving girl!!!!!!! and she very much ~does want him to take one of her more problematic stepdaughters off her hands hahahah so idk how much time he'll actually have to clumsily tryna woo aoife realistically, but it won't stop him from trying at every potential! lakjsdflkjdf and weirdly, cormac would see them tryna woo the same woman as a bonding activity and probs joke w him abt how they're both here to flirt w aoife and meanwhile aoife is probs dying of humiliation in the bg bc she's probs literally standing right there and SCREAM cormac knows what ladies like!!!!!!

[richardbaroin]

"bitch u sexy" - claire

“Ménage à trois, Claire?”

[baelathebold]

sooooo many thots on the training yard scene, i mean the texture, the richness!

the boys all dicking around, smacking each other, smiling, joking--even when jace and aegon fight, aegon laughs & claps jace on the shoulder before because fun n games

isn't until criston is directly ordering him to beat up jace that he starts to cross the line

jace & luke don't know why but it's still obv they're being ignored, that they can't fool around with criston the way aegon & aemond do...........

CRISTON'S SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

"are you questioning my methods" "you haven't seen real battle" (harwin is the chief of police but whatever) *throws training sword on the ground to make harwin pick it up* *takes out his own grudges on the children*

i mean what a CHARACTER STUDY. in ep 1 we got him attacking daemon from the back which is maybe fine after all that was a big boy tourney but now we REALLY see him

harwin's easy affection for jace, nudging his chin, looking him in the eye while jace who had been visibly scared moments earlier smiles back eagerly <333

meanwhile criston says he'll discipline aegon for using an underhanded move but instead jumps right into instructing him how to win because it's criston's complex about victory, about winning at all costs. can't let it go can't see the forest for the trees

provoking harwin because he needs to know that somebody else is as fucked up about all this as he is

"i fought real war" *gets ass beat by the guy who hasn't* wow almost like harwin has the power of god and anime on his side

[celiaelise]

My thoughts after watching The Owl House for the first time! 😊 (muchos spoilers!!!)

(I watched with some good friends who had already seen it; they had strong opinions but were also determined not to spoil me.)

We yelled at the screen a LOT. The most common cries were, "It's The Fascism."/"Do you think maybe it could be the fascism?"/"yeah because you're a fucking FASCIST!" we also yelled at Lilith for her poor decision-making skills very frequently. Like, "yeah, you did this!! This is entirely your fault!!!!" Oh, and at Luz for not thinking things through, though we accepted it's a part of who she is.

I LOVE Willow soooo much!! She is so cool and fun and has great outfits; I would like to cosplay her! I started doing her little part with her during the theme sequence in s2. When they revealed her interest in derby, I was like, "she's SUCH a lesbian."

Probably the least satisfying arc to me was how quickly Eda and Lilith reconciled with their mother, but I'm 100% willing to admit that's probably bc I'm projecting my own Issues onto the situation.

My best friend couldn't help but express sympathy for Hunter and Darius the whole time, which led to a few arguments during our watch 😂 they kept saying, "he's a GOOD BOY!" about Hunter, and making excuses for Darius, and I was like, "yeah but he (Darius) could've not been a dick about it, though." But I did agree that Hunter was doing pretty well considering how abused and conditioned he was. We compared him to Lilith, who ended up in a much worse place, after being raised in a much better environment.

Obviously the Belos/Philip/Hunter/Caleb stuff is super compelling!!! My heart was breaking when Hunter ran into the woods at the end of Hollow Mind, both because of his emotional distress and because, "oh my god, he needs to get out of the open, where is he going, he is going to get himself killed." I don't remember when I first suspected Belos' true identity, but I was pretty sure by the middle of the time travel episode. The foreshadowing and reveal were masterfully done, especially with Luz clinging to the hope that Philip could help her get home.

Gus is literally the most powerful illusionist there is??? Also he's like a tiny bit unhinged, but what can you do. 🤷🏻‍♀️ My friend pointed out that all the copies he makes of himself seem to have some degree of sentience, and express fear, specifically fear of death/not existing, and thus, fear of Gus himself. Which is likely not something he's specifically doing on purpose? So that's interesting. But also he's Baby!!! Someone give him a hug!!!!! He just wants to do a good job and be accepted and appreciated!

KING!!! 🥺💕 His arc in s2 was also heartbreaking, oh my god. The episode where we saw his castle was probably the closest I got to crying during the whole show. He is also Baby.

I don't have a lot to say about Eda? Not in a bad way, though, I think I just don't relate to her much. I did really appreciate her curse as rep for people who are chronically ill and/or have to take maintenance meds just to exist every day. I'm not sure I've ever seen that treated so naturally onscreen before. wrt meds specifically, it's usually either a joke to show the character is "weak", or a Big Fucking Deal that is portrayed somewhat tragically. Obvs the curse is tragic, but Eda using the resources at her disposal to manage it isn't.

Similarly, I don't have much to say about Amity. You would think I'd relate to her more, with us both having emotionally abusive mothers, but I think her being a rich mean girl overrides that 😅 No hate, though!! I like that she's gay and a huge nerd, and that she puts up a front of being together but she's still very much Just A Kid.

Luz just being Latina and occasionally even speaking Spanish is so 🥰💕🥰💕🥰 Also no one mispronounces her name the whole show?! So nice. I am curious what her ethnicity is. I assume the creators have one in mind, but if it's hinted at in the show, I didn't notice. Though I get the feeling she isn't Mexican-American. (that's what I am) (One small downside is that I've always liked the name Luz, but I fear it will now forever be a "fandom name" in my brain 😅)

I've seen fan speculation about Hunter's clothing hiding a lot of scars, specifically his gloves. Which makes sense, but I had the thought that he could have some homunculus- or even automaton-looking shit going on under there, before I remembered that's something he probably would've noticed about his own body. Could still make for a cool AU, though!

I LOVE Kikimora! She's chaotic and kind of dumb and ADORABLE, what else can we ask of anyone?

I'm probably forgetting a lot of things. I kind of already want to rewatch it! But my attention span for this post is waning, so I'll wrap things up.

Despite the circumstances, I am very happy the kids all ended up in the human realm together!! I'm excited to see the witchlings be out of their element in our world, as that is my exact favorite flavor of hijinks! Also I'm so glad they're together and we get to see them be friends; it's refreshing what a loving and drama-free squad they are. Y'know, once they decide they're not mortal enemies, lol 😅

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[punkscowardschampions]

Venus & Leilani

Venus: Hey girl! 😘😘👋 Leilani: hiya Venus: Awh 🥺😔 how you holding up? Leilani: as expected maybe Leilani: thanks Venus: Of course, so sad! 😥😥😥 Venus: I'm totally here for you, btw Leilani: that's really nice of you Venus: Gurl, of course Venus: I'm a pretty nice person Venus: only to people who deserve it, obviously 💁 Leilani: I'm honoured 😅 Venus: You totally are 🤭 Leilani: 1st exclusive club I've been a part of, for sure Venus: That's honestly even more tragic Venus: oops 🙊 you know what I mean Leilani: 😅 Leilani: yikes Leilani: the tragedies are piling up Venus: What school did you go to before? Leilani: [the name of a school, obvs not a catholic one just standard, are we saying the ruster kids go to a fancy one cos rich and now so does she or are we keeping them #humble?] Venus: [I think you in particular need to go to a standard one to humble yourself, also you aren't smart enough to get in on your own merit so] Venus: I dated a guy who went there Leilani: oh maybe I know him Venus: He was super hot but like, so uncultured Venus: he'd never left Ireland like 🥱🥱 Leilani: I wonder if it's a coincidence that all the uncultured kids go there becos me either yet Venus: WHAT 😱😱😱 Venus: aren't you like, properly African Leilani: I've never been, I was born here Venus: oh my God that's WILD Venus: bless you Leilani: bless my parents for wanting me to have a different life, I suppose Venus: I'm in Paris as often as I can because of my daddy but we go somewhere sunny practically monthly, when the school isn't being extra 🙄 Venus: it's the only reason I stick around, honestly 😂 Leilani: he's french or he just lives there? Venus: He's American, he teaches at this AMAZING college there Venus: he's lived loads of UHMAZING places but Paris is his base now and definitely the best Leilani: what kind of accent does he have? Venus: he was from some middle of nowhere town like this, but in the US Venus: so he had to get out to live his best life Leilani: sounds like he is Venus: Totally 😘😘 Venus: he's the smartest person in his field, like EVERYONE has to go to him to know what to do Venus: hence I can't live with him because he's ALWAYS working 😩 Venus: I told him I was cool with it but he's SUPER protective of me so I have to stay here 🤷 Leilani: I know what that's like, my mum was the same Leilani: protective workaholic Venus: Poor you getting thrown into this mess Venus: ugh Leilani: Grace isn't that bad 😅 Leilani: more of a workaholic maybe but less OTT protective Venus: I guess not Venus: did you know she got stood up at the altar though Venus: would you not just lay down and DIE Leilani: me & my mum were there Leilani: so yeah Venus: 🙈 cringe Venus: we were all there honey, I can't Leilani: your bridesmaids dress was gorgeous though Venus: she can enjoy those photos 💁 Leilani: I think it'll be a long time before she's looking back at the album Leilani: longer than it's been atm Venus: DUH 😂 Venus: they'll be in the 🔥 if she's got any sense Leilani: she did re-sell her dress so maybe Venus: LOL I hope she advertised it as cursed or that woman gonna be 😤 Leilani: I'm sure she worked out why it was listed once she picked it up & saw that Grace's weight hadn't dramatically gone up or down Venus: getting dumped at the altar is next-level bad juju though it's not like she just got too excited Venus: I'd be so pissed Venus: have to sage that SO HARD Leilani: I'd be happy I got a bargain Venus: yeah, nothing says happiest day of your life like that Leilani: getting into debt for it would personally ruin the mood but you know Venus: Don't have a wedding you can't afford, obvs Leilani: yeah ideally Venus: like you can't live above your station that's just basic rules of life Venus: in all areas, tbh, not just funds Venus: like look what happened Leilani: you think he was out of her league? Venus: I can't even remember what he looked like tbh Venus: but clearly the baggage was too much regardless of how fine or not fine he was Leilani: clearly he has his own issues to do something like that Venus: Doubt it Venus: he could've bounced sooner but he still did the right thing 😂 Leilani: he should've said or done what he needed to do before it got to the altar Leilani: he had time, she was planning the wedding for like a year Leilani: maybe longer Venus: whatever, he clearly felt SO trapped by the psychoness Venus: we all know what was up Leilani: what was up was that he didn't have enough balls for the convo Venus: the defence squad is so real, chill out babes Venus: it happened, she took that L, end of story Leilani: It's unfair to blame her for him wanting out & doing it in the most cowardly way is all Leilani: she didn't deserve to be treated like that Venus: that's life, babe Venus: it's not fair Venus: if she couldn't see that coming that's on her Venus: what kind of unobservant head ass person you gotta be Venus: like I'd KNOW if my man was not feeling me 🥴🥴 Leilani: I didn't know him, I can't judge it Leilani: but I didn't foresee my dad walking out & neither did my mum Venus: big YIKES 😬 Leilani: & your dad didn't think your mum would end up keeping you Leilani: some things you can't see coming or don't want to Venus: You mean her breaking a contract? Venus: yeah, it should be illegal Venus: and you don't know what my dad knew or didn't know actually Venus: she literally took advantage of the fact he wasn't legally protected and desperately wanted me Venus: like, your point? 🤷 Leilani: my point is, dragging Grace is pretty rude Venus: She's had worse happen, as you've mentioned 🥺💔 Venus: I think she'll get over it Venus: that's if you even bothered to tell her which would be so petty, honestly Leilani: you don't know what he told her or didn't or how it affected her Leilani: maybe she won't get over it Venus: 🥱 Venus: your mom literally just died, like Venus: people have real problems, you should be the one preaching that Leilani: thanks for bringing it back up, it had slipped my mind Venus: do you like, not want to talk about her ??? Leilani: atm I don't want you to talk about Grace how you are Leilani: she's the person who's in my corner, looking after me Leilani: so yeah, I've got her back & I don't care if you think it's extra Venus: I'll talk about her however I want Venus: you're grieving and I'm trying to be nice and let you talk about it, but like, catch me letting you police me and my opinion Venus: not today, not ever, honey Leilani: say whatever you like once you've gotten away from me Leilani: I'm not trying to hear it & if I do I'm not letting it pass through unchecked Venus: As if I want to be having this conversation with you right now Venus: 😬 bigger yikes Venus: catch me trying to make you welcome at school, seriously Leilani: I can settle myself in without your help Venus: yeah, your personality is like, A++ Venus: 👏 good luck with the amount of invites you'll HAVE to turn down, damn, sis Leilani: maybe it's the grief, maybe I just don't like your personality Leilani: make up your own mind Venus: I truly do not have the time to worry about you or what you're doing Venus: you continue to think up all those what-ifs though, that's cool Venus: can be your thing Leilani: next time that it slips my mind that my mother is dead, I'm sure your opinion of me will be right there at the front Venus: okay, word of advice, milking the whole sympathy thing is not going to get you far in the long run Venus: it'll get old faster than he was running the opposite way down that altar Leilani: I don't need advice from someone who's never been here Venus: 🙄 sure babes Venus: that's some USP Leilani: it's really not Leilani: there's a really big group of us Venus: So like, get over it Venus: the levels you can't get away with being a rude ass hoe just because something bad happened to you Venus: toxicity off the charts Leilani: when I do it won't be to make you feel more comfortable Leilani: the levels it's not your place to tell me how to be when we've just met Venus: I'm not the one telling you what to say though, sis, soooooo 💁 Venus: clearly not the one who's uncomfortable am I Leilani: I said I'm not going to listen to you badmouth Grace, you can take it anywhere else & I can't stop you Venus: why are you so pressed 😂 Venus: is she checking your messages to make sure you're #grateful enough Venus: damn, ok, Angelina Jolie Leilani: I like her Leilani: that's enough reason to not want to hear it Venus: Awh Venus: big love Leilani: sure thing Leilani: I'm a big joke to you, okay then Venus: if you feel you've acted a fool, that's on you Venus: I'm unphased by this mess Leilani: no, you're trying to treat me like one, it's a very different thing Leilani: I'm not entertained or entertaining it Venus: Hoe, where??? Venus: Honestly, I'm SO curious 🤔 Venus: I offered you support and a space to talk about your mom and you've just been nothing but combative, honestly Leilani: telling me to get over it isn't supportive Venus: I'm not gonna not keep it 💯 Venus: and don't twist my words or the situation Venus: I said that was how other people would feel if you came at it all with this attitude Leilani: you have no idea where my attitude is coming from becos we don't know each other like that Venus: Why would I put my time and energy on you when you treat me like that? Venus: using your past as an excuse for bad behaviours now, no ma'am Venus: not in this house Leilani: you said I'm milking the sympathy thing when you're the one assuming everything I said here is a grief reaction Leilani: maybe I'm serving you attitude becos it's deserved Venus: so you're just like this Venus: weird flex then, babe 🤷 Venus: the luck I put out there is even more warranted Venus: cuss me out for giving you the benefit of the doubt about your foolishness, chile... Leilani: the disrespect towards your own family & entitlement you have towards being that way is what's getting you cussed out Venus: and I'm the one making assumptions Venus: 😂 Venus: Grace told you some tea and you think you're in the know now Venus: 👌👌👌 keep on that hype, waste your energy Leilani: it's all been expressed in your own words, barely sentences into this convo Leilani: your assumption was that I'd be eager to join in Venus: No, honey Venus: your assumption is that I consider them to be my family Venus: and your tone policing is literally not welcome anywhere near me Leilani: they consider you to be theirs, it should be enough of a reason not to treat them how you are Leilani: hell, human decency is that Venus: Like I said, hilarious you think you are educated on it Venus: let alone enough to lecture ME Venus: I literally got kidnapped by my father's surrogate and his partner, her brother was too cowardly to do anything about it? Venus: miss me with this nonsense, you're the one stressing on this family Venus: they love a stray, they'll accept you sis, it's all blessed Leilani: I know Grace loves you & she would never use any of your misfortunes as a way to amuse herself or anyone else, so that's what I'm speaking on Leilani: the rest is your business Venus: that's her choice? Venus: the levels I don't concern myself with what people say on me Venus: you sound mad paranoid, that's no way to live, girl Leilani: again, your advice on how I should live is unwelcome Venus: THE HYPOCRISY Venus: are you being satirical now, oh my GOD Venus: I am creased 😷😷😷😷💀 Venus: I will say whatever I want about any sad case in that family, and I can laugh at their tragic life choices, and there's 0 to be said or done about it by anyone, least of all you Venus: if they were living better lives, they'd be unphased, if they ain't, who's fault is that really, look inside not @ me Leilani: don't bring it to my door & think it won't get closed in your face, that's what has been said already Venus: 💔💔 dying to be BFFs, obviously Venus: as has been said, my kindness has been thrown in my face, that's your karma Venus: I'm good Leilani: if you think that's kindness you have your own coming Venus: SIS, focus 👏 on 👏 your 👏 own Venus: your life is super sad Venus: it won't get any better wishing ill on me Venus: 🙏 on your own karma and demons, I don't have everything but I am GRATEFUL for what I do have Venus: I'm still out here trying to help you, even though you've literally cussed me out and put lies on my name ??? Venus: point fingers at your own evils Leilani: thanks for pointing out all the necessary work I need to do Leilani: but you have your own Venus: 😂😂😂 and you get to tell me because? Venus: I've evidenced all the work I DO do Venus: you're still sat here being petty Venus: couldn't be me, God bless though Leilani: I'm grateful for what I have too & part of that is gratitude I'm not you or needing to be around you if this is how it is Venus: 😬 that's so dark-sided I feel really terrible for you Venus: you can be grateful for your good without pointing out other people's bad Venus: lowkey that's kinda the point Venus: go do some charity work ASAP, work out those thoughts and all the negative they attract in your life Leilani: I'm already the charity case as you see it but okay Venus: oof Venus: the self-pity Venus: you really think you're so, so down-trodden you can't do ANYTHING to help your fellow man? Leilani: you think I am, I can't voice what I think unless I speak directly over you atm Venus: I don't allow words to be put into my mouth Venus: not by you, not by the devil Venus: offering friendship does not imply anything about you, but a lot about my character Venus: it's actually very sad you can't see that and have to take it so negatively Venus: no wonder your life is where it is Leilani: the only thing I took negatively is what you said about Grace, how quickly you withdrew your offer of friendship becos I disagreed with you about her is what says things about you Venus: Okay, so my offer is withdrawn because SEVERAL times in this short conversation, you've attempted to tell me what I THINK, what I SAY and what I DO Venus: and no, I can't have that kind of negativity around me, my protection of myself is more important than making myself a conduit for whatever ill you're trying to spread by tone policing so violently Venus: charity has to have limits or it can get twisted by people who seek to abuse it Venus: I have to go on my instincts with this one, I am not one to ignore red flags Leilani: I'm not a charity case & you're not better than me, there's my limit Leilani: I don't want your pity dressed up as friendship & I definitely don't have room for your smugness & condescension Venus: You have to ask yourself, where this inferiority complex really comes from Venus: I've not said or implied I'm better than you, so why do you feel that so strongly you have to attack my personality to convince yourself of the fact I'm actually, much, much worse than you Venus: I'm really sad for you 😥 I wish there was something I could do but that's inner work 🙏 Leilani: you literally called me a stray, so maybe that's where I got it Leilani: not to mention how ready you are to bring up every perceived flaw in my character but also call them evils as if that's a word to be casually thrown around Venus: It's truly not about you Venus: self-obsession is a sign that you're not putting in the work Venus: a happy person does not think about themselves constantly, or think EVERYONE else is too 🙄 Venus: your behaviour towards me has been flawed and it DOES signal troubling thought patterns Venus: I'm well within my right to comment on them Venus: if you think I'm wrong, you'll have no issue continuing as you are Leilani: I'm not a happy person & I am having troubling thought patterns but that's not about you Leilani: you came into this convo knowing that & what it was about Venus: I really don't think it's cool to blame your problems on your mom's passing Leilani: I'm not feeling very cool about anything atm sorry Venus: I hope you get there 🙏🙏😘 Leilani: thanks Venus: I'll see you at school then 💓 Leilani: yeah

[alatismeni-theitsa]

To relate to that Trump anon, i think what they mean is how Hades is depicted in LO. He's a mega rich CEO who seems to have countless affairs, runs massive corporations, and is constantly in lowbrow gossip magazines, rather like Trump or people like him (esp. during the 80s to early 2000s). Obvs LO Hades isn't exactly like POTUS, but it's just ironic he's a mega rich Business Tycoon like him that Smythe and i imagine a lot of her fans despise IRL yet adore in LO because it's "Hades".

I get it ^^ it's very ironic that they would despise such a person in real life, maybe also doing jokes like "eat the rich", while drooling over someone who uses souls for labor.

[full-course-identity]

gonna split this between canon character ships and oc-sprinkled ships. we'll start with canon (i also know most of these answer but eh): jeremy/rich, mr. heere/mr. reyes, michael/chloe, jake/rich, squip/michael, squip/brooke, brooke/madeline (STILL COUNTS, SHE'S TECHNICALLY A CANON CHARACTER), squip/rich's squip (in general fanon 'rich's squip isn't mo' situations--i'mma ask about OUR r!squip in the next ask)

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

Warning: Some of this goes into darkfic territory, and is lightly NSFW/NSFT.

Jeremy/Rich

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell (when this option is italized, it means OTP feelings, not Shipping Them As Problematique)

THIS IS MY FAVORITE ALWAYS-FLUFFY (or the comfort portion of hurt/comfort, or tragic lovers, etc) SHIP. It makes me SO VERY INCREDIBLY happy; Rich and Jeremy have this magnetic chemistry in the musical and in fandom--Hell, I even genuinely enjoy most fanon interpretations of the ship, which is really rare for me (still don’t read much fanfiction besides yours though... >u>; )

Also? Hot. Very hot.

... that was not meant to be a pun but I think it probably is...

Mr. Heere/Mr. Reyes

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell (bolding this one means it is/can be Problematique, obvs)

Platonic H/R? Nahhh. I think portraying both of them as queer is a good idea (Reyes gay and aro, Heere bisexual with a strong preference for women and femme enbys), but it just feels like Mr. Heere would want something else tbh. I mean, Mr. Reyes is pretty openly anti-children during the play, and Mr. Heere really loves his son and his son’s friend. I just can’t imagine they’d have much chemistry if they tried dating

Oh but what if... they were predators bonding over their mutual love of abusing the vulnerable people in their lives... haha jk... unless?

Michael/Chloe

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

This... is fascinating. I’m getting more into bisexual Michael for the sake of variety, and this would be... a very fun ship, actually. Especially if it was the two of them targetting Jeremy together... or, oh, actually, this would be a FANTASTIC companion to a Jeremy/Brooke story, w/ Michael and Chloe playing the villains... hm...

(I just really like playing around w/ evil Michael)

Jake/Rich

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I’m so torn on this one. I really dislike most Jake/Rich in large, large part to just... the fandom around it... but I can also picture it being really fucking good in NSFW art, portrayed in particular ways (especially if it doesn’t act as a companion to boyfs), or like, if you did it? IT COULD GENUINELY WORK, but I haven’t seen it done in a way I particularly enjoyed.

Evil!Jake on good!Rich is fun, though I’m not suuuuuper into it--it’s a VERY nice change of pace with us, I like it in AUs, but I prefer Jake to just not be involved or else a small blip/one-off mention... or as the metaphorical sugar daddy to shenanigans gfnbhjvgfdfvdjnjvhfk

Squip/Michael

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

... I’m sorry friends, I’m just not interested. I see why it’s intriguing, I can see that it has what-if potential, but I just can’t care. Not even in an OT3 with Jeremy (though Jeremy being in a relationship with both of them separately would actually be pretty cool). 

tbh, if I have to ship the Squip with a human that isn’t Jeremy, I reaaaaaally like your growing interest in his and Rich’s relationship. 

Oh, and...

Squip/Brooke

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

Much as I think Squip is generally boy and nb masc-attracted attracted, Squip/Brooke would be genuinely, extremely, incredibly fucking adorable. I wouldn’t do much with it personally, but this is the sorta thing I’d love to see shippy art and/or an ask blog for if that makes sense?

Fuck dude, Jeremy watching his Squip come back in a body just to fuck his ex is the funniest shit ever tho, he’d be so disgruntled.

Brooke/Madeline

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

[insert heart eyes emoji]

Even though we’ve generally portrayed Mads as het-but-fools-around-a-little, this is probably my other Really Good Brooke Endgame Ship right next to Brooke/Jenna. I just feel that like... their chemistry, both how we portray it plus the canon stuff (“implied sluttiness” and the way Brooke thinks she’s so cool and tries to model herself off her) is. Mmm. Mmmmmm. 

Plus, not to be all My Autism Makes Me Hyperfocus On Other Character’s Autism, but like... their autistic peculiarities would line up fantastically? Imagine them cuddling and like... touching each other to stim...

squip/rich's squip

vomit / don’t ship / okay / cute / adorable / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell / additional category: I’m genuinely unsure because I’ve only seen hints of how other people portray Rich’s Squip

So the thing about Rich’s Squip in the fandom is that like... outside the occasional character design making a brief appearance in larger prints, nobody really talks about them?

I mean. Okay, granted, I haven’t read enough fanfic yet (... God I really want to eventually, I’d just like a Handy Guide for Who Is And Isn’t An Anti and also I keep going “okay but x character would never be like that” even though that’s wroooong and I don’t seem to have that issue in visual media and....... you get the picture), but after... 2017? After the fandom’s first explosion died down, people rarely talked about R!S. 

I think this was a direct reaction of the Anti movement finally making the solid change to fandom landscape it’d wanted to, unfortunately; this found a swift and sudden tidal wave of backlash to most Squip (primarily shipping) related anything, seemingly killing ALL Squip content that was not sufficiently “briefly used for boyfs or JakeRich angst” enough for a good long while.

Eventually, the growing rise of a sub-fandom around Squip thirsting and Squip redemptions (attempting to be ~untainted by gross shippers~, usually) started around the time badlydrawnBMC started to really pick up steam along with a few selfshippers, inspiring people to Squip-ship in an “acceptable manner”.

The problem is, none of this has affected Rich’s Squip--at least, not yet. The kinda people scared of (or that are) antis have “no good reason” to redeem Rich’s, since “she” (he/they at the beginning of BMC fanon, widely-used she now) did or caused stuff way more egregious, IE the fire, making Rich a bully, and stifling his bisexuality. As a result, there’s a very subtle, unspoken pressure not to really... use her much. 

Jokes are... mostly okay, but there’s a huge preference for Kermit!Rich!Squip if you do.

Anyway.

From the little bit we hear of her in actual canon, Rich’s own words and her brief voice and stuff... I could see her being much colder, possibly meaner then Jeremy’s Squip, probably. They probably have a dom!bottom/sub!top abusive slave relationship. She makes Rich fuck her while mocking everything he does, and then seduces him and promises a little bit of love when he tries to refuse. He would be hopelessly devoted to her, desperate for her approval, and she’d string him step by step. By the time he realizes how well and truly fucked he is, it’s too late; the last stand happens, they fight in front of everyone, and it all goes up in smoke.

Thanks for the question! Hopefully the next doesn’t take this long @_@

[marigoldbaker]

no buffy hate allowed on this post btw like it is so good that she's seeking support and he so clearly wants to help her, and i think it is absolutely developmentally appropriate for all of these kids to not 100 percent clock that giles is a traumatized person and not just solely Their Dad. i think this is one of those things akin to buffy not telling anyone angel is back, where all of the variables coalesce to create the worst possible outcome for all parties involved in a completely understandable way. because obvs even outside of the kid stuff giles does not have a social circle, and that has been solidified by jenny's death! he learned the same lesson as buffy. it's not safe to give your whole heart away. it's just that buffy has faith and riley and spike coming along to push those boundaries and test her and question her and encourage her to love again in all sorts of different ways and shapes, and giles ..... jenny was it. jenny was the love of his life. canon doesn't so much Suggest that as it does State it. he is never the same after losing her.

it's the framing of it that's lost on me, though, because the forgetting of jenny turns this into a footnote when it is in fact a cornerstone of giles's character! there is such rich opportunity to actually directly reference her in his feelings of placelessness during the later season, his own inability to connect to people, and yet it is constantly turned into midlife crisis jokes and "haha giles doesn't have a purpose outside of a watcher, wonder why?" like THIS is the tragedy. not buffy and angel. buffy and angel are not over, and arguably could get back together post-series. their story isn't over when this story ends.

giles has one love. this is an outlier in the world of the buffyverse, made even more significant by the fact that he is a major character. he has one love and proceeds to never love again after her death, slowly withdrawing from the rest of the world until he is completely disconnected from everyone and everything that brought him joy in the early seasons. it is genuinely breaking my brain that giles and jenny are not framed as a Big Tragedy in giles's character arc after a certain point in canon.

also just the fact that this conversation is very clearly causing giles physical pain. every word out of his mouth is so obviously an effort. his honey is there with him in that moment in the biggest way possible and every second of every day he is trying so fucking hard not to think about her or what he's lost.

[punkscowardschampions]

Mia & Jimmy & Janis

Mia: [Computer Science project that you have to make a company/logo/business cards/spreadsheets/website/everythang you could think of so it takes a full term or whatever and you have to work with each other in every lesson] Mia: Right, I think we should do a law firm for our business Mia: because my dad is so we can actually use examples to make all our products legit Jimmy: what, like no win, no fee? 👍 can do a funny ad piss easy Mia: That is NOT the kind of lawyer my dad is Mia: funny isn't gonna get us good grades either Jimmy: 💔 Dunno who I'm gonna get to chase my 🚑 now Janis: I'm with Chuckles Janis: you're just trying to make this project most beneficial to you Janis: I don't wanna be a vulture when I grow up Janis: go generic as possible or it ain't fair Jimmy: don't reckon your dad needs the free promo any road, rich girl Jimmy: unless this is a cry for help that he can't get the prey Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Mia: Obviously I want to make it beneficial, I CARE about my grades and future Mia: but I'd love to hear your suggestions I'm sure Jimmy: you after a 🏆 or just a 👏 for trying to get an A? Mia: I get As, new boy, I don't just try Jimmy: I get it, you want 🤤😍 Jimmy: there Mia: Don't be so disgusting Mia: If you two are going to try and sabotage my grade, I WILL make my dad make Sir let me move Mia: I'm not being dragged down Jimmy: crack on, we've worked out your dad ain't busy with accidents at work Janis: Like, please try and use all daddy's clout to get that stubborn prick to do anything he's deciding he's not gonna do Janis: I already said I'd do this shit alone and no 🎲 Jimmy: don't sound like him that Jimmy: go on, rich girl, love to witness another failed flex Janis: You reckon we'd get extra points for fluffing our business expenses like your dad or what? Janis: I'll go along with it if we can convincingly hide our fake funds in a tax haven and make ourselves look LEGIT 👌 Jimmy: Me an' all Mia: You know as little about my dad as you do about your own, Janis Mia: you wish he was as crooked too but he's on the right side of the law so Janis: above the law Janis: can't do no wrong in your eyes, so I've heard Janis: but doubt new boy finds your family drama any more interesting than I do Janis: be a fucking law firm if you like, let's just split the jobs up equally and we don't have to talk until it's time to piece it all together Jimmy: I'll have the ad and the logo, tah very much Janis: you mean the fun bits Jimmy: I mean the 🎨 bits Jimmy: rich girl wants her A Janis: obliging Janis: I'll make the website and business cards, I've done it before Janis: Mia, do the data input, yeah Janis: star in Tarantino's ad, you'll love that Mia: No, no Mia: I don't feel comfortable leaving you completely to your own devices Mia: that's not a totally terrible split of the workload but I intend to oversee every step of the process Mia: we have to do a writeup at the end, you know Jimmy: it's almost like the other lass ain't as thick as you'd feel comfortable her being, funny that Mia: I literally want to do well and as far as I know, I'm the only one here who consistently gets good grades Mia: so hostile Mia: I agree that's how we should split the work but I'm not going to just assume you'll both do it well, we can all have input in every part Jimmy: could LITERALLY fill a book the size of sir's big head with all the shit you don't know about what I do well Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: watch me, if you don't get enough of it already, better uniform at work though, don't you reckon? Mia: Oh my God, brag much? Mia: hit the nail on the head with big head 🙄 Jimmy: stalk much? 🙄 Jimmy: least your dad could take my case Mia: It's HER sister that likes you, not ME Mia: get a grip and take it up with her if you're not feeling it Jimmy: I'll still give your dad a bell, chuck him that 🦴 as he's struggling Mia: As I said, he doesn't DO no win no fee, so you couldn't afford him Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Now we've established it's justice only for those that can afford it Janis: and rich girls can do whatever they want Janis: what are we doing first, oh mighty project manager Jimmy: I'll do the logo in blue, sounds about right, that Janis: #bluelivesmatter is already taken for a tagline but I'll get to thinking Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll have a think if I wanna use gold for her 👑 or silver for the 🥄 Janis: 🥄 might imply a problem with amphetamines and obviously, you want everyone to know you WORKED for that 💀🦴 all by yourself, you know Mia: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Mia: taking over the family business, yeah? Jimmy: Oi, it ain't that grim up north Mia: Grim is right Jimmy: Gutted Rosso didn't make you feel like the WAG you deserve on your last visit babes 🤞 next time you'll spot them celebs Jimmy: or you'll keep to Bijou, that glam dress code would never do you dirty Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want me to make sure you're infertile Janis: all those cheat days and binges got you feeling unsure, no problem, just ask Jimmy: lend her the 🥄 Mia: You are both SUCH freaks Mia: what does any of that even mean Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: only a freak on the weekend, me Mia: NOT interested, new boy Mia: I HAVE a boyfriend who's a lot hotter than you, right Janis? Jimmy: makes two of us, rich girl Janis: For someone who thinks my bloodline is filth, you LOVE being surrounded by 'em, yeah Janis: bit weird but everyone likes their bit of rough Janis: how disadvantaged is your dad's newest mistress, I mean secretary? Janis: SO charitable 💙 Jimmy: might be northern, sounds like they've been there loads Mia: Are you gay, new boy? Mia: I'll have to let down Gracie for you Jimmy: only for sir Jimmy: he's well fit Jimmy: crack on with letting your bestie down though and if my mum's the one with your dad, tell her she left the oven on but I sorted it Mia: ??? Mia: What EVEN Mia: you're cracked Jimmy: brb gotta go dry my eyes Jimmy: 🐣💕 Jimmy: I do feel #seen tah for that, hun Mia: I can't even Mia: fine, you two come up with our company branding Mia: I'm going to write out all the info to put on our website when it's done Jimmy: Oi, bad blood, you wanna be the star of my ad or what? Janis: no Jimmy: alright, I'll ask sir Janis: good taste Janis: rinse her dad in a fight Jimmy: tah for the meet cute opportunity Jimmy: when he's her dad's new mr I wanna 🎥📸 the wedding Janis: awh, full ⚪ Janis: she'll look adorable in her flower girl dress Jimmy: 🤞 Gracie catches the 💐 Jimmy: she is on a lad hunt Janis: 🤞 Mia's da has a brother Mia don't also want to fuck Jimmy: don't leave us in suspense 👑 does he or what? Mia: Shut the fuck up or I'll show all this to Sir Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: he'll think I'm 😎 and I'll be well in Janis: Do it, little miss perfect Janis: the part where you shit on my dead dad's grave will be well more shocking when I open the floodgates 😭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: ... Jimmy: ........ Janis: guess Sir won't wanna pet you no more when he finds out a. you're a cunt b. new boy is interested in your position Jimmy: he'll do til I can get Mr Lucas Jimmy: you can have him back then Janis: LOVE a happy ending Jimmy: I'll look top in my 👰 Janis: gutted about the lack of uniform though, yeah Mia? Jimmy: What do you make your boyfriend wear? 🦺? Mia: New boy, don't even go there 'cos he could beat you down so easy if I asked him to Janis: that means she pisses on him so they know he's hers Jimmy: makes sense that'd be your kink Janis: dog eat dog world, right babes Janis: stories you was raised on come straight out of your dad's man's man motivational speaker bullshit Jimmy: Oh shit, are you my half sister, rich girl? Jimmy: brb gotta pack my shit so I'm ready to move in Janis: get a princess dress to go with that 👰 Jimmy: order my 👑 in XXL tah Janis: can share with your sister Janis: big happy family vibes xoxo Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: get in here sis Janis: finally not a lonely child Mia: Yeah, I SO want 1000s of siblings like you Jimmy: You're alright, I've only got the one brother and the one sister Jimmy: be piss easy to fit us in your palace Mia: You AREN'T invited Mia: might steal the silverware 🥄🍴 Jimmy: I'll leave you a 🥄 to stick down your throat after dinner Jimmy: got some manners, me Mia: That's lovely, isn't it Mia: eating disorders are really serious, you shouldn't make some jokes Janis: respect the 🎨 Jimmy: cleaning the 🚽 after you lot is an' all Jimmy: part of the job description btw, I get that you'd have to have one to know what that means but Janis: 😏 Janis: staff know all your dirty little secrets, babes Janis: better than a tip, like Jimmy: be 👻⚰💀 before I get a tip off her Janis: if we were all walking 'round looking as SICK as her, what would be the point of corroding away her esophagus and not-so pearly whites? Janis: gotta find your own tricks, boy Jimmy: I'll put a ❄️ in the logo for you, babes Janis: cannot escape those coke vibes omg Janis: you're a PR nightmare Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #whitelivesandwhitelines Janis: GREAT slogan Janis: basically done over here and you're just texting 💀💩 Janis: tsk tsk, Mimi Jimmy: tick tock or tik tok if you'd rather Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: make us a law tiktok, hun Jimmy: starring your dad, OBVS Janis: share that 🤤🤤🤤 with the world, not just the local 18-35s Jimmy: 💰 on him being a 🔥🔥🔥 dancer Janis: all middle-aged white men are Jimmy: DUH Janis: POV- you're my client, I'm overcharging you Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤😍😍😍 Mia: You're obsessed with me, I get it 🙄 Jimmy: busted Janis: If that's a crime Janis: get to spend more time with your dad than you do Janis: 💘 Jimmy: SO romantic Jimmy: 👨💕 Janis: can't wait 'til he wants a couple grams Jimmy: refill the silver 🧂 Janis: you know it Janis: sugarbowl never tasted so sweet Jimmy: 😋 Janis: careful Janis: her boyfriend WILL fuck you up Jimmy: I get it, he's obsessed with me Janis: can't blame him Mia: OMG Mia: that is soooo fucked Mia: know your family doesn't see blood relation as an issue but he'll 🤢 when I show him this Jimmy: if he's that bothered, he can come find me Jimmy: you've had my shifts memorised since I started Mia: You wish Jimmy: to give him a smack, yeah Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: sounds like a right knobhead Mia: [sends a picture of Pablo like he's a prize bull or some shit gross Mia] Mia: you reckon, do you? 😂 Jimmy: I reckon he looks like a right knobhead an' all now, since you asked Mia: You've got a deathwish like Mia: wow Janis: kindred spirits Jimmy: 'cause you reckon he looks like a knobhead an' all? that's just sense Janis: was talking about her eating disorder which is VERY serious and we MUST NOT joke about Janis: but yeah, the fuckboy radiating from that selfie must be the appeal Jimmy: Soz mate Mia: She doesn't DO boys, I'd save your breath Jimmy: weren't breathing down her neck, that's you Jimmy: I get why now though, it's a blatant crush Janis: Stalking's your kink, right babes? Janis: Or am I just that special Jimmy: [draws these gals as snowflakes holding hands but Mia is melting] Janis: That's good Janis: but horrific Jimmy: #allherkinks Jimmy: [doodles on the picture of Pablo that she sent in hilarious ways] Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Send him that, whilst you're at it, Mimi Janis: really get him 'roiding out Mia: 🖕🖕🖕 Mia: you're both jealous, both for weird freaky reasons Jimmy: Of what? Go on Mia: You're jealous because you think every girl here wants to ride you and I DON'T Mia: because my boyfriend is better looking and fitter than you 💁 Mia: and she's jealous either because she wants me or she wants her own brother Mia: either way 😷😷😷😷 Jimmy: if every girl round here wanted to crack onto me why would I give a shit if you do or don't? Jimmy: all your mates are fitter than you and they ain't close to this paddy school's top tier Jimmy: and you just said she don't do lads so why would she wanna have a go on her brother unless the steroids have fucked him up harder than advertised Mia: yeah 👌 narcissist Mia: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Jimmy: 🤞 it'll keep you well clear Jimmy: that'll do Mia: I want to be working with you as much as you do me, I've said Mia: leave me alone and this can be as painless as possible Jimmy: I get that you're fuming your boyfriend is growing bigger tits than you but that ain't my problem, my dear Mia: So immature Jimmy: still got a deeper voice than him Janis: imagine defending your man this hard when he fully cheats on you Janis: 💔 Janis: daddy all over again, am I right? Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Jimmy: Dunno what I'm more flattered by, that you reckon I'm gay after seeing the state of all the straight lads round here or not wanting to ride me 'cause I ain't a cheating dickhead with massive tits or in your dad's case a hair transplant Jimmy: either way, tah Janis: could donate some to the cause, new boy Janis: hair, not tits Jimmy: you could an' all Jimmy: cause a scandal Janis: #cancelling bitches is a solid hobby Jimmy: there you go Janis: can't lose my only beauty though Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: have to keep being #problematic yourself babes, so soz Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Stop nerd flirting Mia: send me what work you've done today Jimmy: Hang on, I'll 😎🚬 Jimmy: 💕 Mia: Gross Jimmy: What, I'm only fit and mysterious if I starve myself to 💀💀💀? Alright Jimmy: [sends her the work like oh I must be a nerd then] Mia: Thank you Mia: I'll go over this and give feedback later Jimmy: Gross Mia: 🙄 Mia: I've got to do a speech in Politics and Society after this, so I need to prepare Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 👋 Janis: pleasure as always Jimmy: bit rude if you two get to nerd flirt Janis: what's 'fuck off' in Arabic? Jimmy: تخلص من Jimmy: probably means ILY or some bollocks 'cause I google translated it Janis: beautiful Janis: love double-meaning Janis: Qué te folle un pez espada, new boy Jimmy: ? Janis: I hope you get fucked by a swordfish 💘 Jimmy: [draws their teacher, Mr Lucas, Pablo and Mia's dad all as swordfish so she can vote for who she ships him with] Jimmy: ✔ or ❌ Janis: [❌ out Pablo's eyes and Mr Lucas' junk like no] Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [does very unflattering drawing of Mia all up on her father] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: not an A though, is it Jimmy: [makes it even more unflattering somehow like now it is and now it's also teamwork so even better] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: LOVE a #collab Janis: been waiting for a group project to come along Jimmy: rigged it to work with 👑💀 obvs Janis: duh Jimmy: SO obsessed, her dad will get me off though, he can TOTALLY relate Janis: should but it in our ad Jimmy: 🔪🔪🔪🚿 Janis: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: Sir will kill that role Jimmy: Literally Janis: ha ha 🙄 Jimmy: Chuckles is right 🤡 Janis: keep 'em coming Janis: 👑💀 might have an aneurism Jimmy: 🤞 might get an A if she dies Janis: it's what she would've wanted Jimmy: you do love a happy ending Janis: who don't Janis: be my tragic family's fault, no doubt Jimmy: so I've heard Janis: not gonna apologize, new boy Jimmy: weren't waiting for one Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: please stop nerd flirting with me Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: calm YOURSELF down, mate Janis: did I fuck Jimmy: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [sends her a pisstake version of the logo to fully drag Mia] Janis: is it RGB #374E88 though Jimmy: what? Janis: it's called tory blue Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: [does a colour corrected version immediately] Janis: Better Janis: solid 🥇 Jimmy: Tah Janis: [the pisstake business card with the logo for her dad] Janis: we've absolutely SMASHED it Jimmy: I reckon we can go Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: [IRL 😘 to sir] Janis: [we're loving this so hard but gotta hide it] Jimmy: [strutting out cos bad bitch global] Janis: [when you wanna go for all the reasons but also the rumour mill would go off immediately so you're like hmm] Janis: [fuck your life amirite babe] Jimmy: [gutted we ever have to end this convo so same]

[punkscowardschampions]

Flat Whites & JJ

Mia: Mum can take four of us, so three of you are still going to need to find your way there, Dad's away on a Golf weekend 🤷 Grace: I'll ask if any of the fam can take the rest of us 🤞💜 Mia: Aw, thanks so much, babe Mia: so you're cool not coming with us then? Grace: there's like 1000s of them so 🤷🙄 someone'll will totally be talked or bribed into doing it 💅 Grace: oh yeah sure, it's like not even a problem, babes Mia: 😂😂😂 for real, got to have some upsides, yeah? Mia: Great 💗 Mia: the rest of you, you can only bring what you can hold on your laps, Dad took the range so we're in the sports, the boot is like non-existent 💁🙄 Grace: ugh IKR?! 😂😂😂 Grace: at least we can take SO MUCH of the stuff whoever's behind the wheel, you're so welcome huns Mia: Love a helpful queen Mia: Asia, are you even coming with us or are you going to ditch us for your boyfriend, again 💅 Asia: Of course I'm coming!!! Asia: Literally just got my hair done 👌👌✂ Asia: [and a million pics that nobody asked for] Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍😍 Grace: WOW! SO CUTE Mia: Yeah, but are you coming with us or coming with us like Maya's party where you left SO early with him instead of having a good time with your besties Ella: 😏🍵 Hollie: wasn't so early she didn't have a good time with ME tho! 💃💘 views to prove it Asia: UM like isn't it LAW that what happens at parties stays there?! 🤫🤫 Asia: & he doesn't even wanna come with soooooooo Jimmy: 💔 Ella: Oh, so we're your 2nd choice? 🤔🤔 Mia: 💔 is right, so rude Asia: ???!! Asia: not even Mia: We all heard you, you can't deny it Mia: at least own it, babe, omg Asia: you asked if he was coming?? Mia: Literally no one is concerned about him but you 😂 Mia: shame he's not, I might need your seat, actually Mia: but that's cool, yeah? seeing as you've got so many options Asia: ?????????? Mia: 🤫🤫 Grace: Why might you need her seat though? Spill on who you're trying to bring, thank you Mia: I'm not trying to make this convo all about me Mia: so cringe Mia: we're meant to be planning, thank you Jimmy: Go on, we're obvs all DYING to know Mia: Have to wait and 👀 Mia: be a nice surprise for you all Janis: How will we ever bear the suspense? Jimmy: there's only one of you who's getting mouth to mouth if you stop breathing, soz Janis: Things are looking up, Asia 🤞 Jimmy: I'm SO not going if Asia's not going, FYI Janis: 💔 Mia: There'll be room in whatever you're showing up in Mia: assuming she doesn't ditch you too, it's her thing rn Jimmy: put her on my lap ✔ you don't mind, do you, babe? Ella: 🤢 Jimmy: green's right Jimmy: no need to be jealous, El Ella: Don't ever call me that Jimmy: Babe 💔 come on Jimmy: this TENSION between us Ella: Repulsive and delusional, cute 🙄 Ella: Why are you even in this chat, though 👏 it's not nice to make fun of Asia, or helpful rn Jimmy: Bit rude to chuck me out of a chat she started Jimmy: but alright we can plan without her Jimmy: Mia* Mia: You aren't funny, new boy Jimmy: is that @ Asia's boyfriend or? Jimmy: he's got a name Janis: You aren't funny, babe Janis: what's to plan anyway, we have tents, we have lifts, sorted Hollie: Is Asia coming? Mia: Grace, can you please explain to your sister how much more there is left to do Mia: and Asia why are you like making people ask after you??? hello, answer a question, would you, silence ain't cute Grace: Janis does lowkey have a point, babes, it is chill Grace: she doesn't need or want to be involved in our outfit planning, obvs 😂😂 Asia: I LITERALLY SAID I'M COMING Ella: 🔉 Ella: Why are you shouting though Asia: why are you the volume police, Ells?? OH MY GOD Mia: Obviously Mia: but there's actually important stuff still to do, thanks, like who's getting the drink, for one Mia: Asia needs to calm down and find herself a seat, and a whole new tent if she's going to bring everyone down with her attitude??? Mia: don't take your relationship drama out on us tbh Jimmy: The unfunny dickhead with the unflattering fake ID, duh 👋 Jimmy: Love me again now, don't you? Mia: Don't get excited Mia: I want 2 bottles of vodka Jimmy: You gonna put me on a timeout, an' all? Cute Mia: El? Ella: Same Janis: You know it's a weekend Janis: you two don't need 4 bottles between you Janis: and you aren't even meant to have glass anyway Mia: You suddenly care about the rules? Mia: We'll pay you now, chill out 😂😂 Jimmy: I was waiting for the #flex Jimmy: can rest easy and count my 💰 now Mia: 🙄 you wanna pay for us Mia: literally none of us will be impressed Jimmy: and live off bread and water for the foreseeable? You're alright Jimmy: So poor, me, you just put the reminder out yourself Mia: 💔 Mia: like we're all SOOOO rich Jimmy: 🙄 Mia: like, bang on about it more, so not boring Mia: is anyone else going to order or are you just going to keep him waiting forever? Mia: what's wrong with you lots, like are you being shy Hollie: you bringing up Maya's party has me 🤔🤔🤔 maybe we should chill out with the 🍾🍾 idk Mia: You make those little videos sober, don't think you need to worry about being any more cringe, babe Mia: why are we going if to not have fun, come on now Hollie: WOW, ILY too babe Mia: it is what we 💗 about you Mia: so funny Hollie: 👌👌👌 Mia: OMG, this MOOD Mia: you're all stressing me out, actually over this Grace: Vodka is like totally fine for all of us, okay? Just get enough to have fun with, like Mia said Grace: without getting CRAZY like Hollie warned Grace: then we can all just move on Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Yeah, this is so much fun Mia: 🙄 Mia: I'm over this convo Jimmy: 💔 Mia: El, be ready in 15, okay? Grace: Is that everything? Mia: 🤷 Mia: Like I'm doing all the work for what? Mia: You wanna be boring, you'll have to work it out yourselves Grace: I'm literally asking so you don't have to do it all yourself, honey Mia: I said, I'm over it Mia: We're going shopping, you can all do what you want Grace: Ugh Grace: everyone stop Ella: The problem is you're doing nothing though? 💁 Grace: Excuse you? Ella: What? 😂 Grace: That's like the opposite of helping Grace: I'm trying to sort everything out Ella: 👌👌👌 Grace: Do you wanna talk to Asia rn? cos I don't think you appreciate how upset she is Grace: That's what I'm doing Ella: Such a saint 🙏 Ella: she's got nothing to be upset about, just like the rest of you, this is such a joke Grace: mhmmm Grace: we all know you wanna call the whole thing off, Ella Grace: but maybe the rest of us wanna go, so like ?? Don't be so rude Ella: That's why me and Mia are the only ones who have made any suggestions in this chat??? Ella: Okay Grace: 4 bottles of vodka isn't a suggestion, it's a shopping list Ella: We all know you can't handle your drink Ella: so why don't you ask for some cocktails in a can and get realistic about it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Mia: El, leave it Mia: this chat is so hormonal Grace: Call off your clone please, so over her Ella: Ha, now who's excused Ella: what was that about green? Grace: yeah cos I was so in favour before Grace: okay Grace: I literally don't care, count me out if this is how it's going to be the whole time Ella: The tantrums 😂 Ella: your sister finally invites you to something and this is how you act Grace: my sister isn't the one being a total bitch, you are Grace: eat something, you'll feel better Ella: Seen enough changing room meltdowns to know that's not worked for you, hun 😚 Mia: This is so toxic and we all know why Asia: I don't Mia: 🙄🙄🙄 Mia: God 😂 Mia: she speaks Hollie: stop shading her Mia: And another one Hollie: her and her bf will be done before the tents are set up, like hello? Hollie: it's not worth dragging her over Asia: 😱😱😱 Asia: Hollie! Mia: Wow Mia: it says so much about you that you only pipe up when things get bitchy Mia: both of you, where was this enthusiasm earlier? Damn, say how you really feel, Hols Hollie: I have to do my own dirty work 🤷 Hollie: if Ells had a twin too, I could sit back and get comfy too Mia: No one's asked you to be such a bitch Mia: this is why people don't fuck with you, so uncomfortable 😬 Hollie: yeah cos only you two are allowed, isn't it? Hollie: is it a boy you've invited? Mia: 😂 show me where Hollie: maybe where Ells is about to pull Gracie's weave out? Hollie: or when you uninvited Asia cos you're so salty that she has a bf Mia: Grace is trying to threaten she's not coming and Asia is clearly doing the same since no one uninvited her Mia: like, try to hide your drama behind us some more Mia: we're shopping for outfits, MY mum is driving us, I've paid for my drinks? Mia: sort your lives, honestly Hollie: my drama is you, you're being cringey bitches and I'm so done 👌 Asia: So I can come with you? Ella: Mime to a sad song, you'll feel better Ella: duh, Asia Hollie: I'll feel better when that boy you have a crush on, who I won't name to the entire chat cos I'm not that bitch, slides into my DMs again Hollie: thanks so much though, Ells Ella: It's tragic you think that means anything Ella: as if you've ever made it to the tent being put up Hollie: It's sooooooo funny that you think that's going to get to me Hollie: I don't want a 💍 and you know it Ella: that's lucky Ella: don't think they do engagement rings in man-sized Jimmy: Well I'm fucked then Jimmy: soz babe, the proposal's cancelled Mia: Are you two legit still here? Mia: That's even more pathetic than you three, you're in luck Jimmy: waiting on my shopping invite, no manners, you Mia: You've got your list Jimmy: But how can I join the cult if you don't tell me the dress code Jimmy: Kool-Aid's on order, like Mia: 🦗🦗 Mia: less reaction than your fake proposal bombshell, I am SO sorry, sweetie Jimmy: I proper felt that, you should go to drama school Ella: and Brits are meant to be decent at sarcasm Ella: try harder, new boy Jimmy: What's sarcasm? Please tell us, attack dog #1 Ella: Get Grace to, seeing as she's such a martyr Ella: Asia's stopped blubbing now Grace: Get over yourself and my name out of your mouth, hun Grace: your changing room meltdown atm isn't my problem Ella: OMG, a real-life 👼 Ella: deigning to talk to us commoners for a sec Ella: you wanna talk about names in your mouth, be sure to tell Asia what you said about her after she left Maya's, k 😘 Grace: Jesus loves everyone babes, even you Mia: 💁 so true Mia: make sure your hands are clean before you start pointing the finger, Gracie Grace: Oh please, I was drunk after I left that party cos OBVS I can NEVER handle my drink, DUH Grace: Do we wanna take a moment to talk about what you both said about my sister and her boyfriend after they invited us to this festival or no? Mia: Try on another excuse, see if that one fits Ella: 😏 Ella: doubt it Grace: we for sure don't wanna take any moments to discuss body image, unless of course you really would like to leave the chat and focus on your ootds Ella: 🐢🌵💚 Asia: ??? Asia: what does that even mean?? Ella: She knows Ella: Asia are you at home? Asia: not my home Asia: why? Ella: to pick you up Ella: you still need to get stuff too, right? Asia: OH Asia: I'll get him to drop me off rn Ella: 🙌 we'll wait 💗 Asia: 👌💗 Mia: We'll do nails and tan after, Dad's paying Asia: I can't tan too dark tho it'll clash with 💇 Mia: 'course, babe, that'd be so cringe Mia: you'll look amazing 😘 Asia: 💗💗💗 Mia: k, toodles 👋 Asia: SO excited Ella: Us too 💃🍾 Hollie: 🙄🙄🙄 Ella: Your negative energy is really draining Ella: speak up if you've got a problem, Hols, maybe we can help Hollie: I just can't remember stepping into a time machine and popping out again when we were like 12 tbh Ella: Your backne is acting up again? Ella: Worst timing, the sun will do it wonders though, don't worry Hollie: 😂 Ella: See, that's more like it Ella: positivity, ladies Hollie: Mia, are you really doing this? Mia: Doing what, babe? Hollie: you know Hollie: 🥶🥶🥶🥶 Mia: I really don't, though Mia: sorry 😕 Mia: DM me if you don't want to say it in front of them, yeah Hollie: okay Hollie: be really cool if you could swat Ells off your shoulder first though Hollie: just saying Mia: Why are you being like, jealous Mia: so weird Mia: we're all friends, 'cos we're not 12 😂 Hollie: check your inbox Hollie: you won't be BFFs with her when you read that Ella: Beg an invite harder Hollie: you'll be begging to keep yours, babes Hollie: gonna have to do your own tan, uh oh Ella: You'd know all about that Ella: 🍊🍪😷 Asia: OMG yay! I understood that time Ella: 😂 it'd be hard to miss, right babe Ella: bless Asia: 😂😂

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, AM before community service vibe, hit me with it] Jimmy: [I think he made her breakfast but he didn't make her breakfast in a cute way he just like threw it at her lowkey and all his focus is on the kids and Twix so even if he brought it to her in his room which he probably would, he was just like straight in and straight out with nothing to say] Janis: [which she'd probably brush off as just that tbh 'cos not a dick and already knows he lowkey does everything for them, so she's not gonna be fully freaked out as of yet even if it's a bit awkward, they sometimes can be still at this point so it'd be like oh but not OH yet] Jimmy: [we all know he's not a chatty kathy and neither of you are looking forward to community service so yeah it's just like okay but then he's also not saying a word on this bus/train whatever they are using to get their ride] Janis: [and there's no not noticing that] Jimmy: [like he's probably got headphones on and he hasn't shared/ is drawing the whole time etc be more of an antisocial teen I dare you] Janis: [like she'd be trying to get him to chat for a bit but she's not gonna not take a hint so then it's awkward] Jimmy: [well done boy so mature of you] Janis: [save the row for after community service though 'cos cutting you the slack of maybe you're dreading it that hard/are that pissed off about it, as if she isn't too/this was fully your idea to get into trouble as well] Jimmy: [I love that you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt babe and obvs there is a bit of FML because he's got a full plate/doesn't wanna do this/is still in dublin when he was doing it so they could leave etc but we know what's really up] Janis: [to be fair, it's more like not dying to have this convo, like don't wanna seem like you're #tookeen even though expecting him to be normal ain't that but still] Jimmy: [can't be Grace about it in any way, don't blame you girl] Janis: [so obviously once this awkward however many hours is over, going your separate ways which brings us up to speed] Jimmy: [how hardcore he would've ignored her makes me die like how are you keeping that up for that long, you aren't that busy] Janis: [it'd be hilariously obvious if it weren't making her fuming instead, like] Jimmy: [thank god he's at least got his dad and siblings in his grill to distract him because we all know how badly you wanna break that resolve and just say something to her] Janis: [meanwhile nothing but time 'cos you ain't even trying to go home rn] Janis: If it's gonna be a problem for you, I'm sure I can get moved onto different hours or a different project altogether Jimmy: Do what you want Janis: It's community service, hardly comes into the equation Jimmy: you get what I mean Janis: Sure Janis: if it makes no odds to you then you don't need to make such a job out of ignoring me, like Jimmy: you don't need to flatter yourself that hard, mate Jimmy: bit busy weren't we Janis: Again, hardly Janis: it wasn't that taxing but yeah, you seemed well stuck in Jimmy: ain't such an athlete like you or nowt but gotta give it 🥇 Janis: If you like Janis: long as you show up, they record your hours either way Jimmy: sound like you've done this before Janis: I don't want to make my rap sheet any longer than it is, if that's what you're so concerned about Jimmy: yeah first priority that, keeping you on the straight and narrow 👮 Janis: Now you've got jokes Jimmy: Who's joking? Janis: That's my question Jimmy: I've CLEARLY got nowt else on, what with community service being such a piece of piss and you being a dream come true Jimmy: 'course you're gonna be top priority Janis: Don't be a dick to try and win an argument we ain't having Janis: obviously you don't wanna do it, neither do I Janis: but you signed up for it, I didn't force you so no point being moody with me over it Jimmy: 1. I am dick and I've never been nowt else Jimmy: 2. I could give less of a shit about community service, I told you that before Jimmy: 3. I signed up for getting in trouble, like you said, this is barely it Janis: I'm not disagreeing but you've always asserted you ain't thick so you've changed your stance on that one or you're being a stupid dick right now Janis: so your plan didn't work and your next one is to work really hard at said not trouble Janis: that makes sense, sure, tah for clearing it up Jimmy: You an' all so you should know what this about and what it ain't about Janis: That's code for let me ignore you in peace, thinly-veiled at best Janis: like I said, I'll move and then you can, if that's all you've got to worry about, you're welcome Jimmy: it's not code for owt it's a loud and clear, leave it out Jimmy: I didn't sign up for this Janis: For what? Jimmy: You're gonna try and fake this now, are you? Jimmy: like you don't get it Janis: I literally don't know what your problem is Janis: stop being a pussy and say it then I will Jimmy: Then just get out of my face Janis: I'm not in your face, fucking hell Jimmy: You're in my head and I don't want you there, alright? Janis: I didn't put myself there Jimmy: it's my fault then, whatever, nowt should've happened Janis: Alright Janis: then forget it did Janis: what, I'm gonna force you to do that now too, fuck off Jimmy: how the fuck is everything so easy for you? it's getting beyond a joke now, rich girl Janis: It ain't Janis: but what the fuck am I gonna do in response to that, ignore you back? Jimmy: Why not? It's obvs working so well for me over here Jimmy: that'll be why I need you to spell out what I should be doing as a next move Janis: I'm not going to tell you what to do on that one, that'd be fucked up Janis: you make up your own mind but you didn't ask me mine or give me a fucking chance to explain it either so yeah Janis: don't be assuming fuck all about my side of it Jimmy: I don't wanna hear your side Janis: Then yeah, you shouldn't have done it Jimmy: Tah for keeping up with what I said ages ago Janis: Whatever Jimmy: just fuck off out of it Janis: Fuck off telling me what to do Jimmy: or what? Jimmy: shit'll get worse than this? Janis: Your life is shit, yeah Janis: and I'm making it worse? Janis: Alright, if it were my fault then you'd be able to do something about it but it ain't so you're still fucked Jimmy: so comforting you Janis: you don't want comforting Jimmy: What do I want? Go on Janis: I don't know and I'm not offering an answer Jimmy: shut up then Janis: Why should I Janis: and why have you Jimmy: what kind of question is that for fuck's sake? Jimmy: I'm trying to sort my head out here and you're Jimmy: you're just Janis: Your head is fucked Janis: who's ain't Janis: I was just being your mate Jimmy: I can't forget about it Jimmy: or you Janis: You didn't look like you were having no trouble icing me out all day Jimmy: well I were Janis: Do you actually have to Jimmy: What else am I gonna do? Janis: Just be my mate, like before Janis: doesn't need to be complicated, like Jimmy: When were it simple? Janis: alright, so simple is an oversimplification Janis: I'm not fucking asking to be your top priority or dream or anything like that though, thanks Jimmy: And I'm not really saying that Jimmy: but being around you is like a ⏲ on a 💣 Janis: Well, why can't you Janis: why can't we Jimmy: How can we? Janis: seemed like you had the hang of it last night Jimmy: funny Janis: I don't think it needs to be serious Janis: mope about the state of the rest of your affairs all you want Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: we had a plan, this weren't part of it Jimmy: that's all I'm saying Janis: It don't need to be related to that either Janis: it ain't Jimmy: Alright Janis: we hooked up 'cos we wanted to, yeah Janis: so what Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a dickhead Janis: always have been Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: take my sorry Janis: I don't want it Janis: just Jimmy: so what do you want? Janis: Tell me what you want Janis: then if its the same and we need to change some rules then we can Janis: and if it ain't then at least I know and we can go back or not do it at all Jimmy: I asked you first Jimmy: and I showed you before that Janis: alright Janis: well I wanna do it again, obviously Janis: but not if you're gonna be a total twat, like Jimmy: I'm probably gonna be a massive twat Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I'll try and be a massive twat in a way you'll like, alright? Janis: My type, yeah, I remember the bit Janis: Be whoever you want, we don't have to know each other for this either Janis: no more than we do now Jimmy: mates, I remember an' all Janis: Right, so you don't have to blank me and be awkward, there's no point making this community service shit worse Janis: obviously the fake shit could confuse it but we know it's fake and anything that'd be weird to bullshit now we can cut out, change the rules, that's what I mean Jimmy: I won't make it weird again Janis: I get it Janis: 'cos I was still there in the AM, yeah Janis: we won't do that again Jimmy: I just Jimmy: it's been ages and I weren't expecting owt to happen, least of all with you Janis: Likewise Janis: weren't the worst thing to ever happen though, was it Jimmy: I wouldn't want it to happen again if it were, that kinda thing ain't a #kinkunlocked soz if you're 💔 Jimmy: I know Mr Lucas is well into that shit but he's one of a kind, like Janis: Lucky for you we're not here to compare and contrast Jimmy: gutted for you 'cause you'd actually be 🥇 stood next to my ex Janis: can't all be RE teachers with halitosis 😍 Janis: I'll hold back on the sympathy card for her for now Jimmy: she'd never read it, can't Janis: 😏 shut up Jimmy: you don't want me to Jimmy: had a right mard on about my silence Janis: if you hadn't had enough of me telling you what a dickhead you are, I could carry on Jimmy: can never get enough foreplay me Janis: clearly Jimmy: you coming round or where are we going? Janis: There's probably a rule about this I should know, yeah Jimmy: you said we're writing our own rules Jimmy: has Bill's 👻 got his hopes up for nowt? Janis: nah, sounds like more fun than making you wait 3-5 working days 'cos you've pissed me off Janis: which I'm pretty sure is the advice so Janis: where else can we go right now Jimmy: my dad's car can take us anywhere you wanna go Jimmy: or just be the place we're alone in Janis: Alright Janis: gonna say, you don't need to take me anywhere Jimmy: bit 💔 that we didn't have this chat earlier, I'd have taken you all over our new bestie's house Janis: Likewise Janis: there'll sadly be other bullshit parties where less sadly you can actually mess my hair up Jimmy: you reckon we can use our new status with 'em to demand 💀👑 has a party at hers right now? Janis: Worth a shot Janis: bet she LOVES being a wingwoman Janis: ask if we can borrow one of her guest beds Jimmy: only if we actually use hers Jimmy: she LOVES a lie Janis: worth the risk of her NEVER cleaning her sheets again tbh Jimmy: she'd never have the strength tbf Jimmy: and all her maids are probably running round decapitated so Janis: 🐍 can definitely eat 🐔s whole Jimmy: yeah but then the 🐔 ain't crossing any roads to get her a new lad to torture or owt else she might NEED Janis: Ohh so that's what that's about Janis: makes so much sense Jimmy: 😱😱 SHE SAID NO 😱😱😱 Janis: 😩😩😩 Janis: like, jealousy is a disease, babes Jimmy: Asia said yeah but I dunno if I wanna go to her house Jimmy: might never make my way out again Janis: NEVER having a threesome with you and Asia Janis: idc how accomodating she is Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: accept the invite to the group 🗨 I started at least Jimmy: we're having a bloody top time Janis: I guarantee I can think of plenty more fun games to play Janis: all part of the foreplay, yeah, gotcha Jimmy: you tell me where to pick you up from or is hide and seek the first game? Janis: [somewhere in town that's not near his enough that she would just walk] Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: Feeling well patient Jimmy: [a 🔥 sext] Jimmy: that'll help Janis: I hate you Janis: not like I've been thinking about it since you left Janis: or like I'm in public rn Jimmy: 🤔 that don't sound like you hate me enough Jimmy: [an even more 🔥 sext] Janis: Jimmy Janis: I hate you so much Jimmy: I'm alright with that Janis: Good Janis: 'cos I intend on showing you just how much when you get here Jimmy: 🤞 I only get done for speeding on the way back Janis: 👮 cockblocking is not a thing I wanna get used to in my daily Jimmy: be alright, they look after their own, weren't that what you said? Janis: Sure, your fake ID also your badge, like? Jimmy: you gonna let me have any secrets? Janis: Depends, of course Jimmy: go on Janis: How interesting it is Janis: keep your boring ones by all means Jimmy: they're all boring 💔 I know Janis: I'll survive Janis: no fear Jimmy: unless I 💀💀💀 you Janis: yeah right Janis: catch me holding my breath on that one 😏 Jimmy: might be hard to breathe normally in a bit, yeah Jimmy: I get that Janis: Shh Jimmy: no need, there's nobody to risk waking up this time Janis: 1. I wasn't even that loud Janis: 2. I don't think anyone even woke up anyway Janis: 3. was your fault so Jimmy: 1. too right you weren't, that's what I'm saying, can be as loud as you want now Jimmy: 2. I'll take the blame for last night and the credit for the 🔊 in a bit Janis: Don't reckon your dad's car is soundproof Janis: but yeah, we can find out Jimmy: weren't planning to leave it somewhere any dickhead can enjoy the show Janis: Good to know Janis: can't just ambush a person with dogging, v rude Jimmy: heads up for next time then Jimmy: can't enjoy myself without 👴 about Janis: Fair play Janis: Lucas was in your wardrobe so 🤷 Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: tah, the reminder'll get me through this Janis: So charming Janis: go back to telling me to fuck off, that was better tbh Jimmy: I've got hotter chat but if that's what you wanna hear Janis: Really Janis: where have all these words sprung from then Jimmy: feeling inspired Janis: 👻🖋💘 Jimmy: you're trying to give Bill my 🥇? bit rude Janis: I'm saying he'll be buzzing Janis: s'one old pervert who'll always be about Jimmy: well now I am an' all Jimmy: won't have to fake nowt for you, what a relief Janis: Funny 🙄 Jimmy: what's funnier is I might be lost Janis: You better be joking Jimmy: I'm just warning you, girl, I'm surrounded by houses, which don't look right for where you said you were Janis: What are you like Janis: no, I'm not getting you to pick me up from my previous, like Jimmy: 😎🚬 obvs Jimmy: hang on, I can do this Janis: Your navigational skillz ain't required for foreplay Jimmy: wouldn't be decent if I had none though Janis: 😂 Jimmy: Alright, I'm back where I fucked this up ⏲🤞 Janis: My faith is so real Janis: 🙏🙌😇 Jimmy: 😈 me Jimmy: got you something for the sorry you don't want Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: as long as my dad ain't Janis: You just stolen his car or? 🤔 hmm Jimmy: his car and the most #goals bottle from his stash Janis: 😍 Janis: that's for the bottle, obvs Jimmy: charming Janis: not faking shit, remember Jimmy: I'll have my 😭 when we've gone our separate ways and you're cracking on with the drink Janis: your loss if you ain't staying around to finish it with me Jimmy: would be a 💔 loss Janis: Be smart then Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: but alright, I'll have a go Janis: you have to stick around for a bit anyway Janis: give me chance to actually earn that 🥇 Jimmy: I've got nowt else on, been smart there, 'cause knowing you it'll take ages Janis: Piss off Janis: you don't know, that's the point Jimmy: calm down, mysterious lass not gonna unlock your secrets and your kinks Jimmy: have still got a job to go to, like Jimmy: can't be on a constant clock with you Janis: You coming to fuck or what Janis: don't put yourself down so much 💕 Jimmy: the point I were making were, if it's one of the other, we're both agreed on which one's getting 🔓 Jimmy: ain't trying to read your diary even if I were capable Janis: Duh Janis: Point I was making is you don't know how long it'll take me 'cos you didn't give me no chance Janis: no deeper than that, gotta relax, mate Jimmy: giving you the chance now, dickhead Janis: so grateful 🤤🤤😍 Jimmy: dunno how grateful this car will let you be but if anyone's a pro at 🙏🙌😇 against them 😈 odds it'll be you, Jules Jimmy: truly inspiring shit Janis: Bigger than confessional Janis: I got this Jimmy: time's come to prove it Jimmy: get in the car please Janis: As you asked nicely Janis: and I have wanted to do this all day Janis: [sup] Jimmy: [hands her the #goals because it's unopened bottle like good evening] Janis: [does the 'not bad' face like okay boy, I see you 'maybe finishing the whole thing and getting this car back in one piece is a bit ambitious then'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and starts driving them to wherever they can get enough privacy so enjoy the VIBE in this car for a bit lads] Janis: [trying to think of a way to say 'I missed you' that isn't purely that 'cos not trying to freak him out again so sat there drinking and 🤔] Jimmy: [sneaking all the looks at her that he can while still safely driving because ofc] Janis: [same obvs 'cos not driving so can be more shameless so enjoy all that accidental eye contact 'today was so...boring'] Jimmy: ['tomorrow'll be owt but' another look like challenge accepted and 😏 though god knows what you think you're gonna get away with sir] Janis: [IRL 🤞 and a shrug 'it can be'] Jimmy: [reaches over and uncrosses her fingers and then writes 'will' as in it will be on her hand with his fingertip like I got this] Janis: [just casually way too affected by that simple touch 'cos it's been a whole day and you're high-key, holding his hand for a bit but like HARD not cutesy 'cos intense af rn and then letting it fall to rest in your lap like hey] Jimmy: [driving a bit faster so you can get there faster without even really being aware of it and obvs leaving that hand there] Janis: ['you're not gonna get lost this time, yeah' half question half observation] Jimmy: ['be your fault if I do, won't it?' because she's his human sat nav but also v distracting] Janis: ['can't be that bothered, lost is where we need to be right now'] Jimmy: [nods because where's the lie] Janis: [just giving him swigs from the bottle like your parents' spidey senses are going off so hard rn] Jimmy: [I'm internally screaming you bad eggs] Janis: [my boo say safety first] Jimmy: [he 100% doesn't have his seatbelt on either because of that rib injury #tut tut] Janis: [I'm loling you grandma ily] Jimmy: [I do hate seatbelts tbf they are so uncomfy] Janis: [tru tea, we out here risking it all in all the ways Jimmy: [to be a 15 year old rebhog] Janis: [not gonna kill you for it don't worry] Jimmy: [get there before the sexual frustration kills you though] Janis: [we're definitely stopping at the first place that is deemed suitable, regardless of the plan] Jimmy: [mhmm that is the whole plan, stop as soon as you can lol] Janis: [we all know there is zero chill with how fast you're gonna be on him] Jimmy: [she's on a #mission just like he was the night before] Janis: [out to prove this is the best idea ever like debatable but we know where it ends up so go off] Jimmy: [he's got no room to say shit cos fake dating was his idea and like what the fuck was that boy] Janis: [love a bad idea moment, y'all are blatant god bless] Jimmy: [case in point taking this car wasn't a good one] Janis: [100% could lose your license before you get one] Jimmy: [at least your dad won't dob you in cos doesn't want police at his door again so soon] Janis: [like you stay away from those ribs 'til they're healed sir] Jimmy: [and his face because she'd know and we ain't ready to have that convo] Janis: [they've not been arrested/ran from a crowd recently enough and he doesn't seem like the type to be out brawling even if she don't know his life so yeah] Jimmy: [behave yourself Ian thank you very much, verbal arseholery only rn] Janis: [but this moment is not at all about you so good day] Jimmy: [nothing is ever about you sir but especially this] Janis: [when this is purely about them and that's why it threw y'all, no one to hide behind here] Jimmy: [the headfuck of feeling something really intensely for someone you don't even know/are pretending you don't even like] Janis: [least we can fake that this is purely sexual even though it's already not, see how long you can last lads] Jimmy: [It's gonna be fun tbh] Janis: [if you were confused before lollol] Jimmy: [so many mixed messages all the time good lord] Janis: [we should have the flat whites invite them to something to be fake at] Jimmy: [yeah just for that really awkward shift they'll have to do from the REALEST to the fakest cos we're evil] Janis: [like it should be something they can't just sneak off from to fuck, not easily anyway lmao, use your basic brain to think of a thing it could be] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna do here before we send them off to the hellishness that'll be chilling at Mia's?] Janis: [we know the vibe here I think, and they can get the invite before going their separate ways even so makes it easier] Jimmy: [literally as soon as they're done like oh hi] Janis: [fun never stops, will need to take this car back and walk tho lads] Jimmy: [at least you'll have plenty of time to 🚬 cos dreading this] Janis: [to the point you were definitely like shall we even but you must, dedicated to this plan] Jimmy: [this can be point scoring with 💀#2 cos in Mia's own home as well, she'll be livid] Janis: [if Asia is being all extra with her man, can easily spend that quality time with her and the tall one] Jimmy: [oh Asia, you know her man is gonna be so OTT too and not in a goals way] Janis: [lowkey like get a room, not that you two can talk but that's in a party setting usually, not your weekly sleepover moment lol] Jimmy: [we all know they are gonna be adorable tonight cos gotta keep it #goals even if they'd rather get a room too lol] Janis: [at least you have some form of being a bit much but only so much you can get away with without being rude and you're tryna be friends now so unlucky, just 🚬 and talking over gameplans 'til you arrive] Jimmy: [when you're 😒 the whole walk but you gotta snap right into 😍💕] Janis: [when it's so confusing 'cos you do like each other but you're pretending you don't and then you have to be really OTT which is like a lil' too much, obvs, but some bits would be kinda nice like ???] Jimmy: [such a headfuck of a time, I love it] Janis: [we evil, so is Mia, hello] Jimmy: [it's just hit me that she'll have to wear his clothes for this sleepover moment because that's where they went he wasn't taking her all the way back to cali's to get shit and like I'm not fine] Janis: [right, she was wearing #2 dress, then they went back to his, so whatever she had on before the dress she would've had to put back on for community service so that'd be way too dirty by this point to wear tonight, make that a moment, bye] Jimmy: [RIP to me and Jimothy because you know she looks so good rn] Janis: [I'll see if I can find anything but it might all be a lil TOO basic but defs a thing like oversized top and boxers moment, when you out cute Asia and her mans when you walk through the door] Jimmy: [just effortlessly 🥇 you two] Janis: [we all been knew honey] Jimmy: [he should make them all personalised smoothies and get her to help him because way to score points because he's actually good at it but also they get to be alone for a hot sec because those rich bitches aren't gonna get involved like Grace and Tall Tammy would but Mia would 100% stop them by being all I need you to do such and such] Janis: [that's such a good idea, they'll be buzzing, even #2 if they made something uber clean and healthy] Jimmy: [yeah Janis' would probably the only one that'll actually taste nice because the flat whites will have gross healthy green ones or whatever but they'll be pleased put some fuckboy protein rich shit in Asia's bf's one] Janis: ['feel more normal?' 'cos so weird to be hanging with them for you both for different reasons] Jimmy: [looks down like he's in desperate need of that barista apron and does an OTT pout but we know he's surviving really] Janis: ['yeah, I'm gutted too' looking him up and down like not hot without it 😏] Jimmy: [throws something at her like a tea towel or banana peel not a plastic toy being wanged at her jaw full pelt sir] Janis: [lmao, batting whatever it is away like 'OMG, DON'T MESS AROUND HERE' 'cos her mum must do something with her days so I bet it's show-home levels] Jimmy: [Grace don't be spilling that smoothie you'll get murdered babe but you two have a little kitchen playfight when he throws something else at you cos that bitch and still in that flirty mood from earlier] Janis: [leave a mess on purpose 'cos not here to befriend you hun like whoops soz, we all know we're gonna need someone to come in and stop this going into a full thing so should be #2 for the throwback] Jimmy: [Mia sending her in cos she's a control freak and can't bear that they're in there living their best lives] Janis: [already mad at Asia on the low 'cos of her mans, the minions are not behaving rn lol] Jimmy: [she would not want him there AT ALL and you know Mia would be gutted she's not with Harry to bring him and make it awks] Janis: [like she does not want a boy seeing her in her PJs or doing a face mask or something 'cos she only hooks up so she'll be sitting there not joining in at all like 😒 probably with Grace if we're being real] Jimmy: [yeah cos Grace don't want anyone to see her doing anything ever unless she has perfect make up so] Janis: [got her on side at least] Jimmy: [meanwhile jj are just snuggled drinking their smoothies] Janis: [just imagined the kermit tea meme there for some reason] Jimmy: [Asia's bf probably downed his cos such a #lad] Janis: [#ladsladslads you know they don't drink at these things usually like why would they waste the cals but gotta 'cos he's here to seem so cool oh ladies] Jimmy: [Mia getting angrier by the second] Janis: [like how do I throw these boys out of my house without getting a rep as a total uncool bitch lmao] Jimmy: [*cough* lesbian] Janis: [we all know the invite was 1000% just for Janis and they've just ignored that lmao] Jimmy: [#tea I dread to think what cringe film they are probably watching rn] Janis: 😴💀🤢 Janis: please kill me Jimmy: [does something saucy like suck on her earlobe because okay I'll kill you but 'subtle' enough that the flatwhites can't be too mad but will still notice] Janis: [purposely takes some more blanket for them for the cliche of the flat whites thinking they're gonna be being saucy underneath but doesn't actually initiate anything 'cos was appreciative enough and it shows 😳] Jimmy: [gets even closer to her even though they were already close af for the cliche but also because he just wants to] Janis: [everyone pretend to focus on this cringe romcom quick] Jimmy: [giving her all the 😍 that are SO FAKE YEP and touching her so much not in a saucy way just in really soft ways like imma just lightly brush my fingertips over any skin that's exposed nbd] Janis: [we all know that kills you lowkey so much harder and you know he knows that so you're like 😒 but also in no way tryna stop him/leaning into him] Jimmy: [no boy that none of y'all flatwhites have been with would ever, like take a sec to just compare any of that to what Asia's bf would be doing #gross] Janis: [none of us wanna think about that, least of all Asia probs] Jimmy: [you missed your chance gal] Janis: [imagine, what a duo] Jimmy: [still would ship it harder than Ro and Drew though] Janis: [we can all be thankful we're not witnessing that rn, though he would be getting out of prison now-ish and she ain't dead yet either] Jimmy: [ew, I'm gonna just bring it back to JJ by saying he kisses her but in a really soft teasing way cos gotta kill her but again it looks chill and romantic compared to how extra Asia and her man are so points won with the rest of the squad] Janis: [when you are so mad but the 😍 are not fake either] Jimmy: [you both love this who are you kidding] Janis: [y'all do too much so now you're salty you've got to sit here and be vaguely sociable with these hoes lol] Jimmy: [casually counting down to when you can go have a smoke break without coming across as being rude] Janis: [way longer than you would like that's the tea, resting your head on his shoulder and absentmindedly pressing his sternum area, gently, checking how his healing is coming along without even thinking about it] Jimmy: [gotta play with her hair soz Grace look away] Janis: [just having emotions over there don't mind her, meanwhile, you have to show how BORED you are by laying in his lap instead, 'cos there's only so fake you can be without it being unbelievable] Jimmy: [they're all aware she's a bad bitch global] Janis: [like to think Tammy is just genuinely loving it lmao] Jimmy: [being such an attentive boyfriend by asking her if she needs anything to drink or eat or whatever quietly cos faking that you just genuinely wanna know and don't wanna disturb anyone else but we know they all 👂 and Asia is fuming on the low that her mans don't care at all] Janis: [breaking that bro-code and making him look bad, he will be so mad, oh no 😂 'causing drama with how #goals you are as standard, just snuggling into him harder in response like no, don't wanna move or have you leave thank you] Jimmy: [such a good snuggle moment ensuing, god bless] Janis: [fully imagine Mia switching this off like let's do something else 'cos she's so mad] Jimmy: [yaaaaas we must] Janis: [hmm, maybe some kind of sport moment like tennis is the cliche of course] Jimmy: [her dad would 100% have a tennis court or some bullshit lol] Janis: [such a posh girl flex, unless we're gonna commit and make her a horse girl but they will lose it lmao] Jimmy: [one of them definitely should be but maybe Asia or Tall girl because Mia would never give that much of a shit about anything lowkey like she has her eating disorder and her JJ obsession that's all folks] Janis: [that's true] Jimmy: [Mia has 10000% lost Grace if they gonna do tennis because she would not be about it, unlucky hun you can't win tonight] Janis: [I feel like it was her idea to show off to the lads 'cos she'd probably be good at it 'cos daddy's girl but like Jimothy is not interested and I doubt Asia's man is unless you're putting the whole outfit on babe] Jimmy: [I love how hard this has backfired] Janis: [she should nab Jimmy to play doubles but you don't know that JJ love competition so ha, make Janis play with Asia's boyf and hope he doesn't totally suck] Jimmy: [tbf Jimmy wouldn't have ever played before unless they do in PE some time or something cos not a posh boy so Mia would be thrilled to have him on her team while he gets the hang of that] Janis: [awkward moment when this is her gay fantasy and the lads are just there lmao] Jimmy: [at least he can make a thing of getting Janis to 'teach' him and shamelessly flirting because she'd be even more annoyed than she was before then] Janis: [when they won't do exactly what you want, oh Mia] Jimmy: [gotta order all the takeout at the insistence of Asia's bf so she actually has a breakdown] Janis: [so much food, Chinese fosho] Jimmy: [this is why Asia likes you boy] Janis: [bahahaha the 😍] Jimmy: [highkey the only reason she brought you along] Janis: [and to get fingered in front of her pals, obvs, cheers boy] Jimmy: [what a horrific visual so i'll imagine instead how much blatant shade JJ are whispering to each other to the point that Mia would defs know but she can't prove anything cos they could just be being saucy] Janis: [hohaha when you're literally gonna give her a breakdown tonight] Jimmy: [ultimate goals] Janis: [whispers 'tell me this ain't good foreplay' for the bants] Jimmy: [😏 because can't piss himself loling and then kisses her 1. so he doesn't 😂 and 2. in answer to what good foreplay it is #bants] Janis: ['think he's ready now' loudly @ Mia like teaching is over and so 😏 @ him] Jimmy: [I think it should be a draw because that'd annoy her thinking she'd win easily] Janis: [a mood, deffo, like you know Janis is sporty even if she ain't a tennis bitch, sort it out] Jimmy: [when you'd wanna play again to try and beat her but nobody is arsed like Jimothy is 100% gonna use the excuse of them being outside to pull Janis away to 🚬 and get a break from Mia] Janis: [can say they'll wait out front for their food also like further distance so they can actually chat without any chance of them being extra and nosy with it] Jimmy: [well played lads] Janis: [I also think they shoulda done really OTT grunts when they were playing 'cos amusing me so it would them, even if we inadvertently turn Mia on lmao] Jimmy: [bahaha] Janis: [#worthit] Jimmy: [gotta have whatever fun you can cos this would so crap] Janis: ['you reckon this is just her way of saying she's reconsidered on the spare room, like?'] Jimmy: [doing that lol you couldn't before] Janis: [we know when he lols it makes her 😍] Jimmy: [gotta have some back because she's so beautiful bye] Janis: [when you gotta make out hard to cover any feeling that ain't strictly sexual 'it's so good to actually do this properly without any of the bullshit for them'] Jimmy: [going as hard for the same reason but then after she's said that also going harder because you want her to feel even better than good cos 🥇 and you genuinely think she means it] Janis: [just being all kinds of hot with your 🚬s sharing smoke between making out 'promise you're gonna make this feel worth it by the end of the night?'] Jimmy: [going in even harder than you already were like I'll make it feel worth it NOW honey] Janis: ['fuck, Jimmy!' when you're already so frustrated and you've not been here that long 'we don't have to go back in, yeah' when you definitely do and you're not saying let's do one but you wanna pretend that much right now] Jimmy: [just dying because 1. you're as frustrated as her 2. you know she is and 3. she said your name so when you try and give her an answer it's just SUCH a noise but that's the best indication that you're on the same page rn that you could've given anyway so] Janis: [the biggest and realest 😍 'cos 'that was so fucking hot' and you can't not let him know in all the other ways beyond telling him] Jimmy: ['you' because she is the hottest and we all know it] Janis: ['for you' and the MOST eye contact honey] Jimmy: [just being as extra as Asia and her bf now soz not soz 🤞 that food doesn't show up for a bit lol] Janis: [soz delivery dude you're getting a show] Jimmy: [not that soz though because wouldn't even notice you atm] Janis: [literally gonna have to make a right song and dance of your approach like 'scuse me lads] Jimmy: [I just imagined the delivery man literally doing a musical number cos I'm a nerd] Janis: [lmao, also you're gonna have to go back whilst this is hot or Asia and her man will be raging] Jimmy: [can't let all your hard work being fake nice go to waste] Janis: [the saddest of times] Jimmy: [if they weren't having much fun before they'll have even less now we're forcing them to go back in] Janis: [Mia you better not start rn she'll be spitting blood from biting her tongue, like] Jimmy: [we should have her dad come back when they're all eating so Mia really wants to die] Janis: [Oh lordy, deffo, helping himself to the food too 'cos a rude dickhead] Jimmy: [oh god of course he would] Janis: [I bet he's lowkey creepy with her friends, not like he'd do anything but it's just awks] Jimmy: [just an uncomfortable vibe at all times] Janis: [everyone enjoy this, Mia try not to have a stroke] Jimmy: [at least JJ can be cheered by how much Mia is clearly hating life rn] Janis: [just being like 'your dad seems cool' 😏] Jimmy: [Asia chatting away to her dad oblivious god bless that dumb bitch] Janis: 💔 for you boys Janis: so blatantly wants a Daddy™ Jimmy: ain't even hungry now 💔😭🎻 Janis: [taking some of his food like if you're sure] Janis: now you're really devastated Jimmy: You're a dickhead Janis: Calm down, chubbs Janis: [offering her plate like swapsies] Jimmy: [fake 😍 as he takes it but obvs gotta be cute and feed her even when you're 😒] Janis: adorable Janis: ➕✔ Jimmy: try not to 🤢 like Jimmy: [Mia's dad 👀 taking her off to have a weird™ convo about boys] Janis: won't waste the food Janis: hit #2 with the fatherly advice whilst Mr Daddy is busy Jimmy: [does chat to her cos that bitch] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: Rude Jimmy: ? Janis: I want some 😏 Janis: feeling left out Janis: clearly the most in need, no other bitch here is in community service Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: [cos obvs gotta sit on his knee you're not 🎅 boyy] Janis: [does though, looking at him with big eyes like he's about to drop some real wisdom on her] Jimmy: [does whisper some stuff to her that he knows she wants to hear though] Janis: [a lil noise like 'scuse her] Jimmy: ['now that was rude' so only she can hear it and know that you're dying thanks very much] Janis: ['kinda your fault' whispered back 'cos well] Jimmy: [😏 unrepentant actually] Janis: [likewise that you ain't moving now you're here not soz everyone] Jimmy: [he loves it so you can deal ladies] Janis: [definitely not helping with the frustration but we know that's why you're doing it lads #shameless] Jimmy: [we 👀 you and so does Mia as she comes back from that fun chat] Janis: [if looks could kill] Jimmy: 👀🔪🔪 Janis: Well greedy, her Janis: had your turn already Jimmy: you better 💀💀💀 me quick, mate Jimmy: she reckons she can beat you to it Janis: 🎾 you to death Jimmy: hot Janis: that's definitely a shit horror movie Janis: give you all yankee accents and football and cheer uniforms and we're good to go Jimmy: rich girl rampage Jimmy: 🍅🍅 out of 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Janis: not alright with that score Jimmy: 🍅 or 🍅🍅🍅? Janis: Soz, just not used to not being 🥇 Janis: so strange Jimmy: I'll 🖋 you a decent film baby Janis: 🤤😍 Janis: Babe! Jimmy: 💕 Janis: can't wait to tell everyone you're gonna make me famous, OMG Jimmy: basically have done with my 📷 Janis: been a while, bighead Jimmy: can you wait a bit longer or what? Jimmy: [such a LOOK because we all know what he means] Janis: What if I can't? Janis: [a LOOK back] Jimmy: [literally can see how hard he's trying to think of a way to sneak off even for a second like] Janis: ['you're so cute' 'cos can just say that and no one's batting an eyelid] Jimmy: [when you're like oh that's so weird because I don't feel good at all rn big song and dance to try and leave this table with her immediately] Jimmy: [💀#2 backing up your fake story inadvertently like #same cos wanna be 🤢 thanks gal] Janis: [real mvp right there, so OTT like feeling his forehead and getting a glass of water for him before making Mia direct you to a bathroom] Jimmy: [I'm loling, what a shit evening you're hosting babe] Janis: [also lol how bad y'all are at this like we didn't know] Jimmy: [JJ doing the most to salvage their night] Janis: [and just doing the most] Jimmy: [#tea] Jimmy: [make sure you lock the bathroom door this time kids, don't need Mia coming to 'check he's alright'] Janis: [learn from your mistakes, when you know you don't wanna be interrupted this time 'cos not for show] Jimmy: [I do vote you get back in the bath though for the mems and because there'd actually be room for both of you to lie down unlike the state of Ian's car earlier just put some fancy towels in there so it's not freezing on any bare skin] Janis: [so considerate] Jimmy: [I is and he is] Janis: [just don't accidentally turn it on when you're getting carried away here] Jimmy: [cos god forbid rich people turn a tap you'd probably only have to push a button or something boujee] Janis: [exactly, and as amusing as it'd be, you're already down to wearing his clothes rn and you don't wanna borrow Mia's instead tah] Jimmy: [they would not see the funny side rn, levels of frustration are too sky high] Janis: [#tea] Jimmy: [not gonna be that mean lads you've already struggled enough by having to be here doing all this flat white bollocks] Janis: [Asia's boyf is deffo gonna say something gross to Jimmy and Asia should overhear at least and they go off to have an argument for the lols and awkwardness factor for all] Jimmy: [100% here for that because how real] Janis: Shit stirrer Janis: 😏 Jimmy: he must've heard I've only got the one good 👂 Janis: 🤞 that's all he heard and his own 👂s ain't as big as his gob, like Jimmy: 😏 Janis: How many boyfriends can we make her get through Janis: the real question Jimmy: Depends Janis: on Jimmy: first off if 💀👑 properly snaps tonight 🔪🔪 Janis: I would give that a strong 90% likelihood but tennis probably took it right out of here, no way she's gonna be up for a spree now 30% at best Jimmy: don't have to hold the 🔪 herself that's what her minions are for Janis: yeah, and look at the state of 'em Janis: #2 got no strength ever, my sister is squeamish as hell and wouldn't risk her manicure for it Janis: lurch might be up to it, if she's not too busy recording herself 'dancing' Jimmy: Alright, won't put my hard earned 💰 on owt Janis: so, what's your 2nd point Jimmy: Depends how long we're stuck in the BFF zone an' all Janis: 'course Janis: could continue to fuck up her 💕life after but that's only something a real good friend would do so Jimmy: duh Janis: have to be quick Janis: don't know how much of this I can hack Jimmy: we could just go on account of me 💀💀🤢🍜 Janis: sexy Janis: we could Janis: but it'd mean more hangouts more times, if we get this done, we've made loads of progress Jimmy: 🥇💡 mate Janis: 🔥 thank you Jimmy: 💣 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: speaking of, if I smack that lad after they've spent ages rowing I'll get a 🏆 instead of losing points, yeah? Janis: who from? Jimmy: who else but my true love? Janis: that's 50/50 Jimmy: ugh, but I wanna smack that dickhead Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor you Janis: 💔 Janis: could be making up as we speak Jimmy: Oi, I don't wanna start actually feeling 🤢 tah Janis: he could be the love of her life Janis: gutted Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🖋 a play about it Jimmy: will do Janis: sure it'll be a masterpiece, mate Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: all the 🦎 and 🐸 lads, like a more grim wind in the willows Janis: 'course you'd write a play with no girls in Janis: proper 👻🖋 move Jimmy: unless you wanna be in it Jimmy: only got the one muse, don't I? Janis: yeah Janis: not my fault your true love ain't very inspiring, like Jimmy: is a bit your fault Janis: you want me to give her lessons on top of being her bezzie mate Janis: that's a bit much Jimmy: if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: I am Janis: she ain't Jimmy: bad worker blames their tools, girl Janis: 🙄 Janis: can only be one or the other Janis: your type or your muse Jimmy: could be the artist himself Jimmy: might just be a bit shit Janis: depends what we're rating you on Jimmy: the finished 🎨 what else? Janis: the ❤s don't lie Jimmy: but they ain't worth as much if you're getting 'em for stuff like holding the brush the right way up Janis: can't get you an audience with taste Janis: if I knew where they were, wouldn't be here, would I Jimmy: I'll live Jimmy: as muses go, you're alright Janis: Oh, tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: was gonna compliment you but if that's the level, I'll save it Jimmy: if I want one, I know how to get 'em Janis: I'm sure Janis: not from me though Janis: 😶 Jimmy: [does his best to try and get one from her, excuse him everyone] Janis: [shamlessly enjoying that] Jimmy: [you better give him one gal cos he's not gonna stop until you do #shameless] Janis: you are such a dickhead Jimmy: top at giving out compliments, you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: afraid you'll never know Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted and shamelessly back at it again at krispy kreme because we're all bored of the flat whites and no other reason oh no] Janis: [the levels of the lady doth protest too much, excuse them everyone, assumedly you're all entertaining yourselves right now/pretending not to watch] Jimmy: [tik toking like your life depends on it or something lol] Janis: ['alright, alright' out loud but not actually gonna compliment you 'cos then it wouldn't be real and we all know it] Janis: I was going to say you're better than you fake Jimmy: you can have that back an' all Jimmy: without having to force me Janis: you're only being generous 'cos I said it first Janis: don't lie Jimmy: nah Jimmy: I'm saying it 'cause it's true Janis: 'course it's true Janis: having to fake I'm even slightly like them puts it down 1000s of points Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: like you said, holding the brush the right way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm giving it to you for Janis: Yeah, my art ain't all that Jimmy: I dunno, you have your moments Janis: 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏 back] Janis: why do you reckon they do this Jimmy: got my 💰 and ⏲ on for human sacrifice Janis: roll on the witching hour Janis: 'cos this is dry Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Jimmy: I'll find a way to make it #goals Janis: [IRL 🤔] Jimmy: [at least we can pretend the 😍 at how cute she is are fake] Janis: being boring is catching or I've just got a one-track mind Janis: you can't be the only thing in this McMansion worth doing Jimmy: should've used that backhand to beat her at 🎾 Janis: I am livid I didn't Janis: but you know what I meant Jimmy: you're not in the 🗨 with Asia Jimmy: bored but not yet 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: you are? Jimmy: always Jimmy: but I meant even northern ain't that thick Janis: I can only imagine what she can find to talk about Jimmy: herself obvs, that's all I wanna hear about 💕 Janis: 🙄 Janis: my point exactly Janis: that's one 🗨 and out Jimmy: [lies all over her dramatically cos SO BORED] Janis: [huffs as dramatically like take the hint ladies] Janis: she still trying to get on you then or what Jimmy: ? Janis: Asia Janis: in your DMs Jimmy: she's still got a boyfriend, last I heard Janis: Obvs Janis: but if she's willing to break girlcode Jimmy: she wants to date someone #goals Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: Yeah Janis: still, gutted there's not more solid proof she's a shite friend and feminist Jimmy: could get it if you want me to though Janis: nah Janis: reckon they know it Janis: I wouldn't trust any of 'em anyway Jimmy: not 🧠💀💀💀 either, you Jimmy: Is Mia's daddy still here or what? Janis: not in my DMs Janis: you had an idea? Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: just bored enough to try and cause that breakdown Jimmy: [IRL thinking winnie] Janis: he'd clearly go for it Janis: fucking perv Jimmy: don't reckon lads are his type any more Jimmy: boarding school were a time and a place Janis: 💔 babe Janis: his distrust of teenage boys is well telling Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you got any ideas in that big head or what? Janis: plenty Jimmy: I get it, you want me to make you tell me them an' all Jimmy: Alright Janis: can't say it weren't fun Jimmy: [we out here doing the most again to not be bored, bonus that Mia is livid] Janis: [she gonna snap Janis: [maybe she should and they can be like well give us a tour then so can be nosy] Jimmy: [as a nosy bitch I love that] Janis: [she can show-off and be a general posh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy lowkey shooketh by her big posh house but not gonna give her the satisfaction of knowing] Janis: fuck the spare room Janis: taking the west wing, like Jimmy: not sure you'll have enough leg room Janis: Beats my current digs Jimmy: not in the middle of nowt for a start Janis: anywhere beats there, obvs Jimmy: might move myself in, see how long it takes her to notice I ain't paid staff Janis: literally stealing my ideas but fine Janis: big enough for us all Jimmy: you'd have to just hide Jimmy: can't get the rich girl off you Janis: shut up Jimmy: but then how will I make a massive echo calling you a dickhead? Janis: You'll manage Jimmy: [playful nudge to annoy both her and tour guide Mia] Janis: [gives him a dirty look and an apologetic one to Mia like ugh, sorry about him, really trying to focus here] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: don't act shocked Janis: how you think the rich stay rich Jimmy: I were gonna offer to give you a piggy back so you don't exhaust yourself going round this massive palace but you'd never make it over the rich v poor divide to get on Janis: divide you put up and maintain Janis: just financed it, like Jimmy: gotta keep it looking nice, girl Jimmy: bit of working class pride or some such bollocks Janis: beats this middle-class minimalism Janis: besides, your injuries aren't healed enough Jimmy: 🏆💪 me Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: [a look back like you weren't worried earlier when we were doing all that saucy behaviour] Janis: [😳 and looking away] Jimmy: [walking ahead on this tour cos only so fake he can be before it's unbelievable and peeps know he's antisocial] Janis: you'll have to be back early for your sibs, yeah Jimmy: If you need an excuse not to have a cosy little breakfast with her and daddy, we can use that Janis: well yeah Janis: can't say I need to go to the gym if she has one Jimmy: watch her try and make us wait on her for our community service hours though Janis: she's so Janis: you know you go to the same shit school we all do, right Jimmy: bet her dad's 💔💔💔 Jimmy: could also fake that mine gives a shit where I am, there's another excuse banked Janis: not totally untrue the way your phone blows up sometimes Janis: no wonder her ma is depressed Jimmy: none of 'em need to know that's all my other girlfriends Jimmy: least if her mum shows up I can get back on track with causing that 😱😱😱 Janis: 'course Janis: her ma is her double so have fun with that Jimmy: 🤤🤤 Janis: don't make me 🤢 Jimmy: you'll have to swallow, food poisoning ain't gonna work a second time Janis: good thing I don't want you looking after me Janis: won't have to make such a scene, bound to be another bathroom soon Jimmy: won't thank you in my oscar speech then Jimmy: save it for my true fans Janis: you do that arsehole Jimmy: [comes back purely to talk to Asia like okay I shall] Janis: [is fuming] Jimmy: [I dread to think what she's saying to him but we know he can fake like he doesn't regret this instantly so] Janis: [just on your phone like there's something so interesting rn 'cos if you storm off they'll all notice] Jimmy: [is her boyfriend still there or nah cos I'm loling if he is] Janis: [assumedly, yeah, so you could talk to him for the pettiness of it all but we all know that wouldn't be fun so better to be going through your DMs like you're gonna respond Jimmy: [talk to some of the others as well boy, including Grace cos you know that'll annoy the bae] Janis: [😒 just coming up like 🚬 please and charging ahead to the garden/end of this tour] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna follow you gal even if it wasn't expected of him] Janis: [🚬 in silence like go away] Jimmy: [his turn to be on his phone while 🚬] Janis: [oh lads] Jimmy: [takes a pic of her 😒 face because he's a dickhead] Janis: ['delete that' when you're so moody lol] Jimmy: [does not] Janis: ['Oi' louder like he didn't hear] Jimmy: ['what?' boy you know] Janis: ['delete that picture now'] Jimmy: ['calm down, not gonna post it' still hasn't deleted it] Janis: ['that's not the point'] Jimmy: ['what is your point, Judith?' when you're just asking her why she's so mad like you don't know] Janis: ['I don't want you having photos of me on your phone' and coming over with your hand out like gimme] Jimmy: [does give it to her because 💔 by that] Janis: [deletes it like there, not so hard 'thank you' and handing it back] Jimmy: [just taking his phone back like this is super casual] Janis: [we're all fine and casual 'cept you so aren't and you're just here seething like hope the rest of you convinced Mia she weren't allowed to come out and 👀] Jimmy: [lighting another 🚬 as soon as you're done with the first one, nhs direct will be fuming at you as well sir] Janis: [never gonna heal at this rate lol] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [not the time to have that argument sadly] Jimmy: [fight fight fight] Janis: [More likely than admitting why you're actually pissed off but instead just laying down on some sun lounger bullshit and closing your eyes like lalalala] Jimmy: [that would be an artsy photo but we not gonna] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: [so awkward cos you know he's not leaving] Janis: [when you just laying there waiting but you can hear he ain't like what to do] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's using this time wisely to deal with all the texts and shit he's been ignoring from Ian throughout the day and if there are any new ones from Cass cos not ignoring her ever] Janis: [be productive boy, we know you're ignoring all your fam all the time on the other hand so, finally sitting up like 'if you ain't gonna do this properly, we may as well just go now'] Jimmy: [comes to sit on the sun lounger the furthest away from the one she's on as a nice parallel to when he sat on the other end of the bench as far but as close as he could on school trip, but not yet looking up from his phone 'what are you on about?'] Janis: ['I mean, if you're going to jeopardize the plan by doing some ungoals shit I'm meant to then have an argument with you about, I can't be bothered, this is too much ballache as is, right'] Jimmy: [repeats what he just said but looking at her this time as if that will make her answer differently] Janis: [blinks at him like, really? 'what part of that did you not get?'] Jimmy: ['might be the part where you're not pulling your weight, fuck knows why I can't get my head round that though' sighs 'It were you stropping off and it were me who had to follow you to keep shit goals'] Janis: [a noise like um, what 'aside from the fact you walked off first, so you can't even have a go at me for it, I had to 'cos you were being a dick and what else could I do in response to that, nothing'] Jimmy: ['I walked off from the tour 'cause it's bollocks but I came back and now none of 'em could say I were being a dick' shrugs like the whole point is we play fake nice with them] Janis: ['yeah none of 'em can say that alright' 🙄 like don't be dense about it] Jimmy: [comes and sits on the end of the lounger she's on just looking at her 'what did you wanna do?' in reference to not being able to do anything else about him being a dick 'go on'] Janis: [looking back 'all I want is to not look like a twat in front of them, literally that's all' shrugs] Jimmy: ['Alright, you won't' draws a ✔ on her with his fingertip really softly and then looks back up at her 'promise'] Janis: [goes to say something multiple times but just nods 'cos safer] Jimmy: [just holding her hand and playing with it in a really soft way without thinking about it] Janis: [breathing out but in a calming down way not frustration] Jimmy: [a hug because that's something they do as mates nbd] Janis: ['this is such a headfuck' what part] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna do nowt that fucks you over' because way to say you care without actually doing it] Janis: ['we're on the same page then...' shakes head and then puts it in her hands like eurgh 'forget about it then?'] Jimmy: [does the thing where he goes to pat her on the head for bants but instead just strokes her hair cos he's the softest boy] Janis: [lying your head in his lap again 'just don't fuck Asia, yeah'] Jimmy: ['wouldn't if she paid us' has never meant anything he's said more than that lol] Janis: ['I'm glad to know the secret menu ain't just yous being pimped out, like'] Jimmy: ['me an' all'] Janis: [just snuggling on the low] Jimmy: [letting it happen] Janis: ['we could sleep out here' like probably not in your current attire but you're well used to sleeping outside otherwise] Jimmy: ['if you want' because he's done it too lbr and also we know he'll do anything she wants to] Janis: ['probably have to wait 'til they're asleep' sighs] Jimmy: ['no challenge that' these boring bitches are gonna go to sleep early obvs] Janis: ['even lizard boy will wear himself out after a go, like'] Jimmy: [a lol but a grossed out sound with it] Janis: [lols back 'as far as fake boyfriends go-' running her fingers up and down his arm '-thanks for not being scaly'] Jimmy: ['least I could do when you're so...' not gonna finish that sentence thank you] Janis: [looking up from his lap like ?] Jimmy: [just looking back at her like] Janis: [wrapping her arms around his neck to pull her face up and his down to meet it so she can kiss him] Jimmy: [letting this be a full make out moment even though you've been out here ages and the flat whites are gonna be gossiping cos idc] Janis: [none of us care, Asia you got no room to talk today lol] Jimmy: [likewise Mia you've been the WORST host so you can't say shit either] Janis: [obviously you will be but still, we do not care at all] Jimmy: [and we know most of them are team JJ at this point so deal with that babe] Janis: [lmao she will never] Jimmy: [Oh Mia] Janis: [truly what is this obsession, we will never know] Jimmy: [when even Grace is like dial it back and she's the OG of having an obsession with Janis so] Janis: [is she your twin sister who you miss and don't think loves you? no, I don't think so and we know you don't like any boy so even if you wanted to bang Jimmy you wouldn't need to be this weird about it] Jimmy: [mhmm wants to bang her own dad more like] Janis: [awkwardddd] Jimmy: [not the issue of why she can't but imagine what he'd look like please] Janis: [my boo like he ain't even hot haha] Jimmy: [tea though] Janis: [we all know it] Jimmy: [we should have her mum be there being cringe when they go back in so lowkey they haven't noticed how long JJ been gone even cos ugh] Janis: [dranking, flirting with Asia's man 'cos inappropriate parents yay] Jimmy: [a richer less trashy version of Carly's mum basically but her husband's doing the cheating instead of her] Janis: [that's the vibe, watch out Jimothy] Jimmy: [he walks in and wants to walk straight back out immediately so HAS TO pull the bae closer to him soz not soz] Janis: [protect ya mans from this sad middle-aged lady, like] Jimmy: [for real, sitting as far away from them all as you can without making it obvious meanwhile just pulling her into your lap like DON'T MOVE EVER THANK YOU] Janis: [getting to be real cutesy with it, said like you weren't snuggling outside lmao] Jimmy: [any excuse to be softer than you're pretending you like rn] Janis: [thanks for the excuse lads] Jimmy: [whispering shade about her weird mum so you don't have to think about not knowing where yours even is or if she's alive or nah] Janis: [just loling on the low like babe, you're so funny, 'cos obvs you've never met the bitch either and wow, what parents she has, she's gonna wanna die, oh Mia] Jimmy: [I'd feel bad for you but you're an evil bitch so I don't and what's more important is that Jimothy is clearly lowkey sad] Jimmy: [they wouldn't notice but we know Janis always notices things so] Janis: [squeezing his hand like you good?'] Jimmy: [just snuggling into her more because nobody's batting an eyelid at that] Janis: [kissing his forehead and murmuring something comforting about him still not feeling well 'cos fake sick earlier] Jimmy: [we're leaning into this narrative because nobody wants to be here] Janis: [nobody bitch, making a point of getting really cosy like we're gonna go to sleep now like Mrs Mia can you fuck off lol, putting a blanket over them and a pillow behind her head so he can stay sleeping on her] Jimmy: [the only time Mia and Janis have agreed on anything cos she really wants her mum to fuck off also] Janis: [just stroking his hair like he always do] Jimmy: [don't cry rn boy there's no styling it out] Janis: [just wait out these awkward last moments 'fore everyone goes to sleep lads] Jimmy: [everyone just faking they are asleep like let this end] Janis: [gonna take this opportunity tho] Janis: hey Jimmy: Alright? Janis: yeah Janis: you? Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Jimmy: best night EVER Janis: 😏 Janis: least we worked out why they're all such bitches Janis: this is their idea of fun Jimmy: least it weren't all shit Janis: the food was pretty good, yeah Jimmy: meant to be me who's the fat fuck Jimmy: don't be coming for my 👑 tah Janis: I'll let you keep it Janis: no 🐸 Jimmy: can't fight you for it, too unfit, me Janis: shut up Janis: you're well fit, babes Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😍 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 💖 Jimmy: [draws a heart with their initials in on whatever bit of her skin he can reach rn] Janis: [stops breathing for a hot sec] Jimmy: [keeping that hand wherever it landed so casually] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: what do you wanna do when we get out of here ⛓ Jimmy: What do you wanna do? Janis: Something actually fun Janis: I dunno what yet, I'll be thinking Jimmy: Alright Janis: is Tammy asleep already or does she need an Oscar? Jimmy: [throws something at her that can't be traced back to him because he's so asleep and so ill bye] Janis: [he'd feel the lols she's holding in so hard rn] Jimmy: [tickles her a little bit but like too lightly to actually make her lol] Janis: [just squirming away so hardcore I hope no one else is that close to yous two] Jimmy: [pulling her back to you even closer than she was before if that's possible] Janis: [when you wanna makeout so bad but you also feel so soft so you're like no we can't but also why not ahh] Jimmy: [we know it's gonna happen lads] Janis: [try to be quiet there are so many peeps in this room with you not asleep yet] Jimmy: [there's your excuse to be softer with it cos a bit quieter well it would be if you weren't so into it] Janis: [just clenching your fists 'til your fingernails cut into your palms tryna be quiet over here when you're fully dying] Jimmy: [at least he'd obviously be dying as much imagine if one of you was really into it and the other person was like meh] Janis: [you both love it that's why there's no denying that, if there ever was tbh] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [consider not going all the way here though tah lizard boy is 1000% listening and he doesn't deserve the show] Jimmy: [I know you really wanna lads but I really don't wanna give him those mental images or sound effects] Janis: [though he should totally spread it around that you did 'cos just real] Jimmy: [he's so that dickhead] Janis: [playing into Mia's hands, someone has to this sleepover has been a total fail for you babe] Jimmy: [suddenly don't hate him as much do you hun] Janis: [new bff lol] Jimmy: [you two should totally sneak off though cos nobody can stop you if they fake sleeping] Janis: [you simply must] Jimmy: [Mia's room blatantly] Janis: [fuck on her bed and go through her things, literally the least she deserves] Jimmy: [making what would already be a 🔥 hook up even better] Janis: [least you can make some noise, her rents room is probably a million miles away 'cos posh people] Jimmy: [love that for you two] Janis: [mood and a moment, shame you can't sleep in there] Jimmy: [well they could as long as they get up before Mia does which realistic cos a bitch is on death's door] Janis: [lmao, it's just a weird fuck you flex that I'm about] Jimmy: [same though] Janis: [taking a selfie so smug] Jimmy: [yaaas] Janis: [we'll pretend it's just for blackmail purposes later and not 'cos he looks that good but there's no denying your 😍] Jimmy: [we know they love an excuse for a photoshoot and the 😍 are mutual af] Janis: [honestly just staring at him appreciating for a hot sec] Jimmy: [looking at her like ? boy you know] Janis: ['it's rude'] Jimmy: ['what?'] Janis: [points at him like 'you'] Jimmy: [shakes his head and points at her instead trying not to blush] Janis: ['you're so' not purposely copying him from earlier but here we are] Jimmy: [gotta kiss her so you don't say something that we can't take back] Janis: [relatable] Jimmy: [I'm like how else can you fuck with Mia while you've basically got free run of her gaff rn lol] Janis: [there's got to be shit, like as long as you keep it quiet, you could do anything, within reason] Jimmy: [ninja-ing through the place] Janis: [also what can you do that she won't be able to say shit about/immediately know/assume it's you two hmm] Jimmy: [gotta be sneaky but yeah idk] Janis: [I wonder, maybe there's some cringe photos of her from childhood they could find? Jimmy: [love that and OMG maybe this is too far/ not feasible if her dad is like sleeping in his study wherever but I just thought what if they found something cringe about him/ his latest affair etc] Janis: [my mind was also there like no doubt his phone has a passcode but what if his laptop or something is open with an account logged in, I wasn't sure] Jimmy: [I say fuck it why not he's probably not that smart/ not expecting the sneak attack/ drunk] Janis: [let's do it honey, yo to the lo] Jimmy: [they're only gonna use it if she deserves it like when she gets him fired or something so it's her own fault] Janis: [mhmm, we know she has it coming so save it up honey] Jimmy: [that's her sorted then is there anything else we wanna have happen/ be said between them?] Janis: [1000% signing up for the dating apps and shit to find him...CATFISH HER DAD lmao we probably just need to decide how we're having them leave in the AM and then that should be good though] Jimmy: [obvs they gotta leave early so probably assume they can sneak off but I think they should all be up working out because Mia's that control freak who makes the squad except like Asia and her bf who refuse to get up lol] Janis: [what a disturbing scene like soz we gotta go rn immediately still] Jimmy: [Jimmy like I'm not dressed for your zumba fitness and also I'm not a wine mum so bye] Janis: [just get to be vaguely passive-aggressive about doing a real workout like buhbye] Jimmy: [love that for you both, Jimmy like I've got a puppy to walk because I don't kill and eat small living creatures 🐍] Janis: [so glad to be out of there alive tbh] Jimmy: [I dread to think what kind of weird intense workout Mia would actually do, oh girl] Janis: [the others just dying like how is she not] Jimmy: [fuelled purely by the mems of what a shit night she had] Janis: [and what 🔥 hookups they had all over your gaff] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimothy'll be getting through community service because of how good she looks in yet more of his borrowed clothes] Janis: [you need to sneak home for provisions soon babe but not this morning] Jimmy: [#never soz cali] Janis: [you can be home if you want the row or nah, we know the vibe for always] Jimmy: [Twix will never let you leave gal she'll be buzzing to see you] Janis: [like where have you been bestie lmao] Jimmy: [real loves of each other's lives] Janis: [at least community service today won't be as shit now] Jimmy: [thank god, it's hilarious that this convo started how it did] Janis: [shamelessly making up for the lost time like it's going out of style] Jimmy: [living for how highkey you two are always] Janis: [aren't we all, especially you two, random thought but do we wanna have anyone else stand out/be of note in community service?] Jimmy: [oooh that's a good idea boo] Janis: [it has potential if we wanna use it] Jimmy: [agreed, we'll have to ponder, have you got anyone she always takes pics with or anything that you're like when the fuck am I gonna use you?] Janis: [aside from the boys from the Netflix show, not really] Jimmy: [they probably don't look like they're community service lads sadly] Janis: [lmao probably not though this is prime jealousy time for you all] Jimmy: [we should totally exploit that if nothing else because Asia is no actual threat but a community service girl that she thinks is his type, like hello and we know he gets jealous if she literally interacts with anyone rn so] Janis: [why not I say] Jimmy: [all the content we can get from the headfuck this time period is, we gotta] Janis: [right, they're just jealous is the point, there literally doesn't have to be anything in it] Jimmy: [we 👀 you] Janis: [do you wanna skip to a bit of that, or something else, end this here???] Jimmy: [we should probably end this here even if we wanna do some of that because a bit rude to ruin day 2 of community service as well as day 1 lol like give them a good one first at least] Janis: [yeah it doesn't have to be immediate okay leggo]