#obviously there’s a lot of nuance blah blah blah

[v0idwraith]

I’ve had more than 2 seconds to process and I’ve decided to double down on being a Jayce defender. I stand with my cancelled wife. I also wanna slap him but I’m standing with him.

[dewwshi]

TRANSFEM DRIZZT MASTERPOST

breaking my usual “only art posts” rule on this blog to write a dissertation on a thought that has been on my mind since literally homeland. LISTEN. i'm gonna proselytize i’m honestly shocked i haven't seen anyone else say this before. i think drizzt do'urden is transfeminine coded, specifically trans lesbian coded. and i have EVIDENCE. (WALL OF TEXT UNDER CUT)

for the record i'm gonna use he/him pronouns for drizzt in this largely because that's what he uses in canon but i feel like he would for sure switch to she/her or something if he did transition. but i feel weird talking abt characters with pronouns other than canon ones

i'm transmasc so for transparency when i speak abt transfem experiences it's from what i have heard and learned from transfems and take all generalizations with a grain of salt blah blah blah nuance vanilla extract be normal please

also i'm currently only on spine of the world. i have no idea what happens in later parts of the series so my evidence is only from books i’ve read + be forgiving if you know smth i don't + try not to spoil too much thank you BUT ALSO I WANNA KNOW what people think on this sooo yea tell me :heart:

OKAY NOW after all those qualifiers. i'm sorting my evidence into a couple categories:

character evidence (about how being a girl would fit into drizzt’s narrative)

relationship evidence (about how drizzt’s relationships are enhanced by/contribute to his girlitude)

and miscellaneous meta stuff & wording evidence (aka wishful thinking)

CHARACTER/NARRATIVE EVIDENCE

firstly. we MUST discuss the backstory. the childhood trauma.

drizzt's primary backstory, i.e. his childhood in and abandonment of menzoberranzan society, places him in the position of someone who is “too soft” and “too weak” for their society and thus becomes ostracized and outcast. this is a REALLY transfem coded position to be in.

in our world transfem kids get ostracized for not being masculine enough and for being a “sissy.” the situation is obviously pretty different in matriarchal menzoberranzan (“girliness”/femininity is not considered a flaw there the way it is in prevailing attitudes in our world) but the parallel still holds

i'm sure everyone remembers the “you’re a dancer” scene. despite excelling in combat, drizzt (at least pre-melee-magthere) is considered too weak and soft for menzoberranzan even by zaknafein, again framing him as being (by surface standards) more traditionally "feminine" than the rest of menzo men

and YES "you're a dancer" is a complicated scene with a lot of emotional shit going on for both characters but my point is specifically that drizzt's alienation from his society REALLY resembles the alienation that a lot of transfem children experience

for the record he is also very autistic. 100% autistic i’m on that wagon all the way. just to put it on the table

but anyway the queer coding is extremely strong here. the other way you could read the “dancer” gncness drizzt exhibits is as gay coding (many of the same tropes and narratives apply to young gay boys as do to young transfems). i have a couple reasons i prefer the transfem reading though

gayness is not treated the same in menzo. bg3 confirms romantic relationships between women are standard fare in menzoberranzan; my hc is that the same is true among men

that's an explanation from the world's perspective though, not from a meta/writing perspective. to me drizzt's infatuation with women (We'll Get To That) makes him read more like a transbian than a gay man though

anyway back on topic. something the books (the ones i’ve read so far at least) don't really talk about but SHOULD is the relationship with gender (and women specifically) that drizzt would have been left with from his upbringing.

menzoberranzan culture holds that women are above men and that men are inherently worse. you can't just forget something like that after living in a place where that's simply a fact of life for 30 years. lots could be said on that and i think it must have had an effect on how drizzt views women

however to focus on the trans thing let's state the obvious: menzoberranzan gender roles are RIPE for transmisogyny. it’s a society of terfs. the gender roles are SO defined and SO exclusive that an assumed boy even trying on feminine clothing would probably get physically abused. not so different from parts of our world shrugs forever but for a different reason like i mentioned; it's not “girl shit is gross what are you, gay?” it's “how dare you, a filthy man, attempt to partake of womanhood, which you would sully with your very touch” AND AGAIN. THAT SOUNDS LIKE TERF RHETORIC DOESN'T IT?

i think drizzt would have been left with a deep-rooted sense of shame and self-consciousness about gender (as he was about basically all parts of his identity for the record) and i specifically think that a clear parallel can be drawn between those feelings and the transmisogynistic ideas common in our world, in particular the idea that trans women “steal/appropriate womanhood.” in menzoberranzan’s case the idea is more like that “womanhood is a privilege to which men (who are lesser) have no claim.” 

drizzt seems to generally feel like he doesn't deserve to have things he wants, he doesn't deserve to be happy etc etc. and i think it would make peeeerfect sense for that to extend to gender. that he has to learn that he can and is allowed to express his gender freely

then there's the graduation ceremony.

in a journal entry in spine of the world drizzt says the reason he was so uncomfortable with the melee-magthere graduation ceremony was because 1. he didn't wanna do drugs and 2. because Casual Sex Is Bad And You Should Be In Love Before You Do Sex (he's so. repressed. beautiful stupid baby) and while i for sure think those ARE both PARTS of his discomfort, i think i have a bit of extra sauce to add.

consider: the graduation ceremony's purpose (in addition to being a fun light-hearted celebration by drow standards) is to enforce a specific social/sexual gender role onto the young graduates of melee-magthere (clearly the most desirable sexual partners for noble drow women).

that gender role is specifically placed in opposition to womanhood. there's matrons, and then there's patrons, just like the surface world has husbands and wives

i’m thinking that while drizzt is and is written as being HEAVILY attracted to women (again We Will Discuss This), “pretty lady's boytoy” isn't a gender role he's comfortable inhabiting, and so he felt reflexively bad being forced into it.

of course the social role of men in menzoberranzan isn't a nice position to be in even at the best of times but i don't think that was what was on his mind at the time!! what if part of the reason he was so instinctively against partaking was because he rejected the gendered social role placed on him in that moment, a reminder that melee-magthere, and the kind of warrior role he'd been trained for, is for boys alone?

leading from that. in siege of darkness drizzt imagines what catti-brie’s life would have been like in menzoberranzan if she was drow. consider how easily he chooses to imagine her going to melee-magthere instead of arach-tinilith even though the former is boys only. this is SOME kind of gender fuckery for sure. i'm thinking some part of him feels that melee-magthere (and the kind of combat training taught there, which drizzt excels at) isn’t or shouldn’t be for men exclusively. he enjoys being a warrior and he's good at it, but, for him, that warrior role is DISTINCT from a masculine gender, even though in menzoberranzan it wasn't distinct at all.

i find that drizzt being transfeminine boosts the hell out of all of his other “fuck you"s to menzoberranzan society

not only is he an insult to the way of lolth by rejecting it in favour of empathy, but he's going in the face of the entire gender system of menzoberranzan. just totally blasts it. i feel like it adds a whole new layer to his rejection of the lolthite way of life

of course that's an argument you could make of any queer reading of drizzt as a character but i feel like it hits hardest with SPECIFICALLY transfem drizzt. one brave tgirl's Exodus From Terflandia.

but even then when he does come to the surface, he finds himself alone and apart from society. 

in the early books’ world there is no place in surface faerûn society for a drow, it is designed to exclude him the exact same way existing binary cisnormative gender structures are designed to exclude queer people.

drizzt has to start off on the complete fringes of society and then carve a place and home for himself with like-minded people who love him and who he loves. that's exactly what queer people have to do too. is leaving the underdark a metaphor for coming out??? i guess so.

CAN WE TALK about the shit with the mask of disguise in the halfling's gem? THAT SHIT IS TRANS AS HELL!!! again autism coding runs parallel hand in hand here but like.

“you have the choice to suppress who you are in order to fit into wider society. now will you do that, or will you live as someone visibly outside the norms? is it enough to know no matter what, you will still have your loved ones who accept you no matter who you turn out to be, to know that you will be happier if you let yourself express your true self?”

THAT'S THE QUEEREST SHIT EVER.

also drizzt's fixation on personal freedom makes a lot of sense (a lot more sense than it does as in-canon imho) if you read him as trans. in menzoberranzan he would never have had the freedom to do with his body and presentation what he wants.

being able to be the person he wants to be seems to be a central concern in his mind, for himself. he doesn't just have an “i don't want to kill and torture people” objection to menzo culture, but an “i want to be able to choose the life and identity that i want for myself” objection

as it stands in canon the reason why he's so fixated on this isn't clear (so far at least). it makes more sense if he is transfem, and growing up in a system where he was actively prevented from pursuing his own tgirl happiness left him very invested in standing against that

on a meta level the “freedom is the most important thing ever” thing kinda is weird to me (it's very “can you tell the author is american”) BUT it becomes a lot BETTER if reinterpreted as “my old government wanted me dead for being transgender, so i think everyone can do whatever they want forever”

some of the general stuff about drizzt's queercoding in this section is pretty general but i veeery much think specifically transfem drizzt makes the most sense and adds the most to his character and story. and that's what the post is about. so yeah

RELATIONSHIP EVIDENCE

this section is abt drizzt's relationships! wahoo

1. CATTI-BRIE

ok so there’s a lot to say about catti-brie and why i consider their relationship a lesbian one and how i think drizzt's attraction to and love for women reads as extremely trans lesbian in nature.

bringing back that thing about shame from earlier. drizzt has, as he has in all things, a tendency to be ashamed of and suppress his own emotions in terms of romance.

the way he thinks about his attraction to catti-brie reads a lot like the way a transfem with a lot of internalized transmisogyny and lesbophobia might feel abt her attraction to women:

he acts guilty and embarrassed and tries to keep it a secret, to avoid talking about it, to avoid expressing his wants in any way at all

he's also afraid of being punished for it. think back to his stuff about women in menzo. he feels like he's not allowed to feel this way about women OR - HEAR ME OUT - HIMSELF. to me, a fear that he is encroaching on womanhood (both as a participant and as an enjoyer) is a very natural source for that shame

note that it’s specifically when she isn’t looking. ashamed!

drizzt in that excerpt assumes that bruenor would berate him even though he SHOULD KNOW bruenor trusts and likes him enough to fully give them his blessing. also drizzt blushes immediately after this and acts all flustered about it. ashamed!

in siege of darkness (during the "but for now, friends" scene) drizzt does tell catti that he’s in love with her- and follows it up immediately with “it’s no big deal, don’t even worry about it, i can totally just repress it forever if you’re not comfortable with it” (GUT WRENCHING SCENE THAT THREW ME OUT TO THE CURB BTW. AUGH). it's a COPE. he's terrified of being punished or rejected or ridiculed. i think all of those fears tie deeply and specifically into gender- his own, and hers too.

lesbian culture is known for a level of near-rhapsodic adoration for women and i see that in drizzt. the way he talks and thinks about catti-brie is insanely sapphic. basically every time he thinks about her he’s thinking shit like “god she’s the most beautiful and the best and i would die for her and there’s nobody in the world like her” this is truly a kind of infatuation lesbians are famous for. 

are there men who think about women like this? yes of course. is it a cornerstone of wlw culture to a degree that casts even the most cisgender of those men as almost gender non-conforming? i would say yes.

he spends so much of this scene fawning over her that i don’t even know which parts of it to include

i could keep going but listen the point i’m trying to illustrate is that he’s fucking SMITTEN with her okay? and it's EVIDENCE he is a woman i swear to god this is facts and logic and makes sense THIS IS LESBIAN BEHAVIOUR!!!!

AND THE SLOW BURN. the slow burn is lesbian coded as well. wlw stories are LEGENDARY for the extended periods of mutual pining that they often feature. pining is basically a classic feature of lesbian romance.

catti-brie and drizzt spent SIX FUCKING YEARS on the sea sprite together in the time skip between siege of darkness and passage to dawn, the ENTIRETY of which drizzt spent HOPELESSLY IN LOVE with her, and they did NOTHING together. if pining was a song these motherfuckers would have gone triple platinum. and that? oh BABY, is it yuri to me

i could make a whole other post exclusively about a lesbian reading of catti-brie and her relationship with wulfgar being comphet. honestly i could make a lot of posts about catti-brie she's insanely interesting and i have SOOO many thoughts about her. but suffice it to say: i think she’s gay as hell

for the record you may be thinking “okay he’s just in love with catti that’s why he’s like that” true but he is also fascinated with and identifies himself with a lot of the women he meets on the surface. and of course there is The Guenhwyvar Thing

2. THE GUENHWYVAR THING

let's discuss The Guenhwyvar Thing

you guys remember the fucking poem from homeland? about how beautiful and incredible guen is? literally the first time i saw that i was like “this is the most tgirl shit i've ever seen.”

are you guys seeing this??? “you, girl panther, are how i feel inside, i wish i could be you for realsies." reflection from mulan core. on all levels except physical i am a giant female panther

the fact that drizzt is so utterly enamoured with, again, a Female magical panther reads as extremely transfem coded to me. i truly feel like guenhwyvar's gender is a core facet of why drizzt adores her so much.

drizzt's relationship with guenhwyvar is – and was from the beginning – a place where he could freely admire and relate to femininity without shame.

guen’s femininity (by virtue of its animalness and magicalness) is very different from the femininity of menzoberranzan’s matron mothers. drizzt grew up in with an exclusive and abusive femininity that left him as an outsider, always unable to partake of or even genuinely admire womanhood. but he always wanted to and, when he gets the chance, he does. HARD.

i maintain a headcanon that if drizzt were to play dnd with the companions of the hall, he would play a conspicuously female druid every single time and never explain why it had to be a woman. but i know. I Know Why it has to be a woman.

3. ARTEMIS

god the queer reading here is sooo potent. here's my thoughts

artemis and drizzt’s struggle (at least as far as i've read) is one of a person who pursues happiness even under the risk of being outcast or hurt by society, and a person who has suppressed the need for happiness to secure survival. this can be easily expanded to a queer context:

artemis is closeted or stealth, dismissive of his own queerness. he sees an out and proud drizzt, publically living as a queer person, pursuing queer happiness. (not that drizzt is actually out and proud as a tgirl BUT HE HAS THAT ENERGY! LIFE COULD BE DREAM)

in other words artemis sees drizzt living a life that he (artemis) subconsciously decided long ago was impossible, unattainable, something he had to give up to survive. a kind of life that he hates his own desire to have. he hates drizzt for being happy in a way he wants but has decided he cannot have and thus nobody should even try for. he envies him.

you may be thinking “that sounds a lot like the dynamic drizzt and artemis already have in canon” EXACTLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

i really enjoy transmasc artemis who's been stealth since age 10 but i'll admit i'm not as dedicated to that headcanon as i am to transfem drizzt. idk where he's getting that beard from. maybe the crime guilds of calimport have access to magic hrt

bet when you started reading this post you weren't expecting kalvin garrah artemis entreri

anyway the point is that artemis’ redemption arc is the journey from he/him transmasc to he/they transmasc. DOESN'T HE JUST HAVE HE/THEY ENERGY?

MISCELLANEOUS EVIDENCE

this section deals a few other little random things that don't mean much but boy do they add spice to my life

UNICORN SYMBOLISM. drizzt's ranger symbol is a unicorn. a symbol of mielikki of course but also perhaps the most feminine of all mythological creatures and he chose it specifically to represent himself as well. and as a ranger/ nature guardian drizzt occupies a very typically feminine role. like who speaks to animals often? disney princesses do. my girl drizzt is a disney princess deep in his heart and i know this to be true.

now last but not least these ones… these are clearly unintended from salvatore’s pov but i find them FASCINATING

supposed to be a reference to his age i think BUT STILL HOLY SHIT? HE SAYS THAT. DRIZZT HIMSELF OBJECTS TO BEING CALLED A MAN. I'M DOING A LITTLE HAPPY DANCE THIS IS THE GOLD STANDARD FOR TGIRL HEADCANON EVIDENCE

let’s parse this okay because it’s pretty weird and confusing wording. the hag says it is “not for any man; it’s for two and only two” and those two are catti-brie and drizzt, implying NEITHER of them is a man.

the second half conspicuously shifts from “man” to “male,” again avoiding calling drizzt a man and implying he may be male (biologically), but he ISN’T a man. it’s also kind of tacked on to the end, to single drizzt out. almost like the hag was like “shit they’re not going to figure out who the other not-man is so let me add this second thing to it”

and yes of course the author-intent reason it’s phrased like that probably has to do with the word “man” which is sometimes used in these books to mean “human” HOWEVER given that everyone there immediately assumed “no man” referred to catti-brie (who IS human but NOT a man in the gender sense) supports the reading that it does mean gender

IN CONCLUSION

i think drizzt do'urden is a tgirl. i’m just about 100% certain this was not RAS' intent but nonetheless i think a reading of drizzt as transfem based on the evidence present in the books both makes sense and adds a lot to his character AND the other characters AND the story and themes. basically he’s a girl. thanks for readingg

[mieczy-stiles]

The thing about Luca is that. And I say this as a writer, I suppose, but also as a queer person, that he exudes a certain feeling of safety, and comfort. Like, to have him play something will mean he's going to give you his everything. No matter the character, you'll see a sincerity that isn't just the product of the script, or the demand of it, but also the mind of the actor.

To know that a person of his calibre is out there playing queer characters so effortlessly, and without a doubt in their mind, without any prejudice blinding his artistic choices and who he is as a person, it's obviously a ray of hope, but it is also, then, a kind of trust, even if it is just parasocial in many ways.

I know if it's Luca playing a certain queer character - regardless of what happens to them in the script, that is if the script is stupid and insincere to the queer perspective in certain ways - I'd still easily trust him to do justice to the queer experience, for how sincerely he plays everything.

The whole every-character-of-his having a underlying homoerotic quality to them is all fun and cool and great and beautiful, but also, it's so fucking refreshing

It's been decades of asking for the correct representation in media, it's been years and years of queerbaiting and, if not that, just general lack of care

I've been accustomed to just wanting some of my favourite characters to be gay. Just thinking and wishing and hoping that someone someday will let them reach the full scope of their personality, let them have the right sort of ending, see first the fabric of their person, and not just the thread of their sexuality, and maybe then write the script. There have been all sorts of emotions, and so to find now a person who is doing just that? It's pure beauty.

For a while now it's been changing, more and more shows and films are becoming inclusive and accepting and understanding of the queer gaze, and it's so beautiful that Luca contributes to it with his whole heart, and has been for a long while.

Many must remember how it used to get with artists and makers always denying or trying to tip toe around the obvious queerbait, or shying away from the conversations that involved that queer perspective, or outright rejecting the very idea- it happens still - but then you see the likes of Luca and Marwan being comfortable in each other's company and also about the love they shared on screen (especially, i think, it begs to say, with them being men), talking happily about their characters, making playlists for them, recommending poems for them

A lot many actors now are open to these conversations, a lot of them now talk about it with nuance and care, with just the right words, and though it's in no way any less a contribution to the conversation, or any less genuine, but again, there is something to be said about the ease Luca shows.

Again, as I said before.. it feels safe, with him.

In a lot of his interviews, he doesn't bat an eye before saying things like - I was lucky to have him as my husband. And he means it, you can tell that by the smile on his face. When people are focusing on the movies' objective and the friendships in it, he easily goes and says it's not only the friendship, but also the love.

In another of his interviews, there was once this question about Roberta, about if he knew what was demanded from him and how he prepared for a transsexual character. I remember it because I was almost sure I'll be hearing some generic answer like I studied trans people for this role and this that blah blah, something ignorant, basically. I was braced for it. But he just said. (And he was talking in english, and all that he was trying to say was conveyed more through his face and gestures, it was super cute actually) - I read the script, and I just felt something. I didn't think about playing a transsexual, but a woman, with a friend. It was important for me to show the love she had for him. So. I just played a woman helping out a friend :)

And I was like ?? wait that's? That's all? You're not going to go deep into the character's psyche and the great moral upstanding you must be feeling for doing a role like this? You're not going to talk about how you "prepared" for this role or how it was "different" for you?

I was so used to people doing that, his simple answer took me by surprise.

and that's what's so refreshing, so comforting.

There's no hesitation in him, no prejudice or preconceived notions or activism, even, compelling his choices and words.

It's just him, plain and simple.

He's committed to his art in a way that people rarely are. Especially in media, where even big companies and huge hollywood stars often fail you.

I wish more people in this world were like him. So gently open in his ways, so effortless in his understanding and acceptance that it becomes intrinsic to him.

He's one of the few people, I would say, who are an artist not just by work, but also by nature.

[gloriousburden]

srry this is gonna be long and i keep sending asks but i have to yap:

do u think he slides more towards being evil or morally grey, or good? i know obviously the answer is nuance like for literally character and irl person too...but i mean like i see a lot of ppl, even og loki fans who are anti series, who seem to ascribe to the whole "he's a little shit/asshole" type that is pushed in the series and say if u think otherwise ur woobifying him and its making me question how much i even understand his character now :/

also just how like sarcastic or cold/aloof do u think he is? like how much is that a wall he puts up vs being the real him, and how do u think he'd act if he warmed up to someone completely? same with the traits of him being like vain, arrogant, pretentious etc. do u think he'd ditch those behaviors completely with that person, or just lessen them? or not?

and how do u see his chaotic side? as like super all over the place and loud like the joker and those kind of entp like archetype characters, or more like subtle, almost calculated or controlled chaos (ik it sounds like an oxymoron but hear me out) like in TDW when he tells the to take the shortcut and then just sits and smirks reading the book quietly.

and finally, srry it's nsfw: do u think he's been intimate a lot, is hedonistic, or is a virgin? bc i don't rlly see him as having slept with a lot of ppl or if he had slept with some, not like he's super lecherous or anything. tbh i lean towards more thinking of him like a virgin bc i feel like he didn't have the time to even think or care abt lust and those urges (if he did i imagine it was like when he was adrenaline fueled and really rageful and just took care of it himself if u know what i mean) throughout his life after thor 1, and prior to that i feel like he was seen as like a nerd and black sheep and no one would rlly want to, unlike with thor who would probably be popular...thoughts?

What do I think Loki is morally:

fortunately for you, I made about 30 posts about it after you sent this LOLLLLL I think he is morally grey. It makes the most sense to me and relates to the Myths as well 😁

Oh I really hate the ‘little shit’ archetype that is pushed. Is he very much a menace at times? Yes. Is he a quirky menace in a bad behaved toddler-like manner… No. People forget that even though he’s the god of mischief and he’s sassy and silly blah blah blah, he’s also very eloquent and is not.. very quirky in ways that they assume he is. He’s a well behaved menace. Yes that is an oxymoron, and so is he. I hate when people call him a bastard, an asshole, a little shit, etc.. like it’s so condescending and weird… and also unfunny as fuck. Have some respect!!!

Like if people were just saying that in a joking/lighthearted manner, I wouldn’t gaf that much. But, I can tell they really think it’s accurate to who he is as a person. They really think it fits him. I just know they loved the improvised snake joke scene in Ragnarok, and think that Loki was constantly stabbing Thor 🤦🏻‍♀️

How sarcastic or cold/aloof do I think he actually is:

I do think that he genuinely does have these traits. I mean, to those who know him and have fallen for his tricks, it is believable to them to a certain extent. There has to be some truth to it. There’s a thin line between his deceit, and his true nature. One of my favorite Loki quotes:

Frigga: “Cast enough illusions, and you risk forgetting what is real.”

Loki: “Precisely.”

Oh yeah he’s very sarcastic. Without a doubt. Even when being threatened by the Other, he is sarcastic lol. That is something that will never leave him. During Illusions, or the most vulnerable moments of his life.

I think that once he’s warmed up to someone, he will be a little less aloof and a bit more expressive. Though, not by much. Not series level. I still see him as genuinely being more reserved. I don’t see it as just a part of his facade. Oh he’s pretentious to his core. That doesn’t change.

I do not see him as being very hyper or heavily expressive in the same way it’s been represented in the series when he got “comfortable” around Mobius and Sylvie. I do think he genuinely is a bit cold and reserved, even when he does warm up to someone. But at the same time… he’s very playful it’s just not very loud. Ahhhhh. Loki is very expressive in ways, but it’s just… DIFFERENT!!!

How do I see his chaotic side:

Sort of like how I said above. No, I’m definitely hearing you out. The way you explained it, is how I see it. Though, he may ON OCCASION have outbursts where is more all over the place and.. well, chaotic. Yeah it’s more “controlled” for the most part, but I do think he has moments of louder chaos. It’s sinister, but not loud. I don’t really know how to explain it but he’s not maniacally laughing and jumping around all over the place like a buffoon. There is a middle ground I fear. Even at his most chaotic moments, he’s not.. extremely loud. It’s more toned down. Idk what that says about him. He’s chaotic, but he’s elegant and classy with it.

(Suggestive)

Do I think he’s been intimate a lot:

I kind of wrote an imagine a while back where I sort of implied that I think he has been intimate a lot in his past, but ngl I wrote that when I had brain fog and I was kind of dumb as fuck because I don’t even agree with that. Idk where that came from. I do not think that he is a complete virgin, but I also do not think that he’s hedonistic AT ALL. I think he has definitely had a few lovers/flings in the past, but nothing too serious. Nothing that really made him feel loved. He’s selective with lovers.

Loki, in my eyes, loves very heavily. When he loves someone, he wants to spend the rest of his life with them. He’s very devoted/loyal. He hasn’t found that person yet, though he’s messed around a few times.

Yeah, I honestly agree with what you said about it for the most part. I think Loki views hedonistic behavior as a sign of low intelligence (in his eyes) and likes to deprive himself of such “earthly” pleasures. Because he’s pretentious like that. But also, maybe he feels like he doesn’t deserve to indulge. He’s not good enough, yet. Maybe he’s weird about types of self pleasuring too idk.

Loki definitely was overshadowed by Thor, but he was still of a high status and was also very cunning/charming. Not that I think he was tricking people into sleeping with him, but I think that people were drawn to his high status of course, but also his mysterious nature. People always want to figure out those who are mysterious, and reserved. Most people probably thought that Loki was emo and weird af, but then you had people who were intrigued by it, and intrigued by his intelligence.

When people say that Loki is highly experienced, I don’t see that as meaning he slept around a whole ton and was fucking 30 people a day. I see that as he slept around a few times, not many, but is a very quick learner. He got the hang of it quickly, and is also quite in touch with what makes himself feel good. He can read people very, very well. So I think he takes advantage of his intelligence, and uses that in bed in ways. He’s alluring in that manner. He reads people, and understands what they desire from him. Loki understands body language. He knows how to disguise his own, and he knows how to read other’s.

Not that you said anything about this but i now have a chance to talk about it hehe. I think he likes pleasuring other people. It’s a bit of an ego boost for him. He has that authority over them, and he could easily take it away. He likes having control. Maybe sex is an outlet for him in ways. It makes him feel useful. He may restrain from allowing himself to be pleasured, because that’s him giving in. That’s him giving up that control to someone else. Though, I think he would accept it from someone he really loves. He’s a bit weird about intimacy.

Might make a post about how I think Loki views certain pleasures as well as how he feels about certain things related to sexual intimacy. I have a few opinions on that I think

[ladycauthon]

So now that I've seen the first three episodes of season 3, I'd say overall, a much better start to the season than the previous two, and I am enjoying it, but I have a few criticisms.

1. The Trakands suck. Honestly... what tropey shenanigans have they done to them? I hate them all (bar Elayne as she's great), and Gaebril is my favourite of that group which is INSANE.

2. How did Alanna and Maksim get to the Two Rivers so fast and why are they there? Also, why is Perrin there? I don't often say 'but in the books' blah blah, but honestly, Perrin's reasoning for going home in the books makes soooooo much more sense. Especially if you're trying to understand why they would go there through the Ways!!!

3. The Mat/Galad/Gawyn fight scene should have been in public. Making it private is cowardly and I won't forgive them for this. Give me my proper damn scene!! I beg of thee show, all my fave scenes from these books have been cut so far, I'm running out of patience!!!!

4. The "bubble of evil" for Mat sucked. Make the cards come alive, why can none of the fun things from the books actually make it into the show?

5. Very unpopular opinion here, I know, but I seriously dislike Liandrin's backstory in the show and I just don't care to hear it. I don't want her to be a tragic "nuanced, morally grey" character because it's too tropey. The show needs to step away from some real YA fantasy tropes it drives me slightly insane.

6. Break Egwene and Rand up, already, I hate them togetherrrrrr.

7. The pacing is still a little off for me, but I'm chosing to be forgiving of how rushed everything feels.

8. Honestly though, does anyone actually like the Trakands???

BUT that being said there's a lot of things I love so far, such as:

1. Lanfear really is that bitch and I love to see it.

2. Moghedien is a creepy little thing and holy fuck did she just make Jaichim into a Grey Man? Holyyyy

3. Faile is perfect. Sorry to all the Faile haters out there, but you're dumb and wrong. I love her, she's already embodied that character to a T and I'm excited to see more of her.

4. Mat is also perfect and the star of the show, we all knew that already. I also like him and Min together because I always thought it was a missed opportunity to have them interact in the books because I think they don't until like book 14 (and Sanderson obviously ruins that interaction).

5. I like Lan and Nynaeve as much as in the books. I think of all the romances so far, theirs feels the most natural along with Siuan and Moiraine. Elayne/Avi is fine but too rushed for me to care yet

6. The dialogue is improved to a point where I don't want to rip out my hair all the time. Yay, thank you! It's still a little too exposition-y, but, God, so much better than the previous 2 seasons.

7. Weaving is improved 10 fold.

And for one little neither good nor bad point;

1. Melindhra?!?!?! Huh???!?!

Next episode is Rhuidean though, and I'm incredibly hyped, even if we don't get Mat through the doorway 😞

[tgirlmechanicock]

Piggybacking off of, but not hijacking, Plaidos's post here about transmasc Harry DuBois I have to say like.... I've never really understood MOST transmasc reads of characters. Like, the characters that transmascs try to project onto are always the cis male characters in media (because, like transfems, the idea of projecting onto the main character is always enticing)

But like, it takes such HUGE fucking leaps in logic to actually do that. I come primarily from the KH fandom and transmasc reads of either Sora or Riku, while some of the more valid ones in fandom in general, are still WILD to me, and I think it really embodies a really really large divide in the way transmascs and transfems both view characters and also view transitioning at large

If Riku was transmasc, for example, transmascs would be happy if he was able to undergo medical transitioning and top surgery in his youth, and then quietly become a man and then stealth there without any sort of intervention. Like, that's the goal, right? It's "his parents were good about it, he found a good doctor, and then he stealthed it".

When I project being transfem onto Sora, it's usually like "post KH3 she's just wracked with guilt and learning from Xion and Namine that she can just decide to be a woman and does that and it comes with a lot of heavy emotional baggage" and it's like... I dunno. Transfems want to see the struggle in a character, want to see our hurt externalized and view an ideal journey through a character we relate to and like, make that journey worth it, right? Like, our own lives are so hard, we want to see a woman who, despite it all, makes it through it and enjoys herself.

Transmascs... just kind of want to see the end result and be done with it, I guess? Which is very indicative of a lot of irl transmascs I've observed, like, they want to transition and then stealth and then be a Man. I don't want to be a Woman, I want to be a trans woman. Like, my struggle is a part of me, being clocky is fine, my bond with other trans women is way more important than my bond with like, cis women. But transmascs just kinda wanna shed the whole thing and leave it behind (and sometimes leave behind transfems and trans people as a whole, cough cough) and it's FASCINATING to see that reflected in a fandom mindset, right?

And I dunno, even with characters like Xion and Namine who are widely considered transfem coded over anything else, it's due to their like, NARRATIVE nature. It's the idea of "they were nothing and chose to be girls" and that's an important part of their like, transfem journey, just like irl transfems. Transmasc headcanons are usually so "i dunno i wanted them to be transmasc" and ignore so much of the like, narrative nuance, or the character identity, and just fjdksalgjdslk I dunno!! It's almost frustrating to see sometimes, I always hated the Sora/Riku transmasc headcanons because it just. Made so little sense. Especially Riku, which was the more popular, holy shit what a bad transmasc headcanon, that bitch is a girl

(Also obviously this doesn't apply to all transmascs or all transmasc headcanons blahh blahhhh blahhhhhh blah but it is a pretty large percentage of them from what I've observed in fandom and having transmascs in my life, so)

[bagalois]

100 days of productivity -- 8/100

jan 26, 2025

✔ did my combinatorics reading assignment and classroom discussion prompt

daily click

that's it. it was so hard. i needed to ask my friend to basically carry me through the process of thinking outside of the box (the box being the contents of this text). but i got through it in the end....

i really seriously truly need to get better at thinking creatively / asking good questions about stuff. its a skill i've neglected, i don't know why i didn't realize this sooner, but it's obviously really important to know how to ask questions if you're gonna be a researcher

the assignment was to read section 1.1 of "enumerative combinatorics" by richard p stanley and to post a question to the class that reflects having thought deeply about the material. other students wrote stuff like "if you apply this to that then you get this ugly formula, but when you put it into desmos and wolfram alpha, blah blah blah" or "stanley's proof is extremely convoluted, when the one i came up with works much better and is also a counting argument, so why does he use generating functions here in the first place?"

i believe my professor is asking us to think one step above just learning the material, we need to consider applications and nuances and stuff. with a lot of guidance from my (music/physics) friend, i managed to cobble some kind of... minimally presentable ideas? i was like "i don't have much experience with these rings/fields structures and i know stanley says you should know the structure to know the combinatorial significance, but i just don't have that background so. that's not obvious to me" and "stanely says convergence of sequences and composition of functions are linked and significant but i don't really get it" UGHH idek man i felt like cringing and dying when i uploaded my discussion post for the entire classroom to see because i posted directly after all the smarter answers

i dont think they are deep or reflect deep thought though. like, it's deep compared to what i'm used to but it's not the same level as the rest of my classmates obviously. and it's not like i'm not working through the reading I DID THE READING I WORKED THE MATHEMATICS i just, idk i kinda grew up avoiding authority figures and figuring out everything myself. i don't know how to ask things that aren't literally verbatim "why is it like this"

most things in this world is a haze of everything i don't know. mathematics just happens to be especially friendly to people who are confused all the time, because it is consistent with internal structure, and because even mathematicians are confused a lot of the time. it just turns out, as you get more mature, you are supposed to get better at being more precise about your confusion. not a giant blanket of confusion but more like a thin cloud of confusion that has a definite shape that you can point to and know things about how uncertain you are. idk i hope future me understands my point here when you read this again.

in a moment of weakness i wondered if i might be forced to drop the course because my mathematical maturity is not up to par. it would be really mean of my prof to say i shouldn't be in the class though, and even if someone said i shouldn't be there i would say their lack of understanding and kindness means they don't deserve a spot either.

i'm taking a class because i'm supposed to learn a skill, not already demonstrate mastery of it. i just started a little further behind than the other geniuses.

sigh. i have class tomorrow. i look forwards to hearing what my professor says about all of our questions.

[woodswolf]

anyway im going to make some minor changes to existing chapters of DLD. im going to make a point to differentiate between the Hocotate and Hokotate pronunciations in-text since that's actually kinda really important and informs a lot about where olimar and various characters come from.

i don't think ive said this before anywhere (at least outside of DMs with my partner/ideas ducky), but the TL;DR is that both the "american" and japanese pronunciations of Hocotate/Hokotate are kind of an important background detail that inform how i see the pikmin universe Working in DLD. Hocotate ("american" pronunciation, "hawk-a-tate", rhymes with Freight) is the "standard" pronunciation across the galaxy while Hokotate (japanese pronunciation, "hoh-koh-tah-tay") is how Hokotate natives would refer to it. and this like, really really informs a lot of characterizations.

the ship for instance always pronounces it as Hocotate because it literally wouldn't know any better and nobody's ever said otherwise because it works well enough for an interplanetary business setting.

olimar also pronounces it as Hocotate unless he's specifically in a situation where everyone involved would Know to pronounce it Hokotate. however, he Thinks of it as Hokotate except in the context of Hocotate Freight.

the president is obviously from Hokotate but intentionally always pronounces it Hocotate and obviously named his company Hocotate Freight.

lamella would always pronounce it Hokotate which might make some characters (i.e. basically anyone who isn't from Hokotate) kinda 🤨 at her.

etc. like these are 4 very different outlooks that imply a lot of very different things about each of the characters.

also to be clear, Hocotatian is the "standard galactic" name for people from Hocotate. if asked by anyone Familiar With The Hokotate Distinction, though, they'd call themselves Hokotateno. but some people (such as olimar, aka Mister Nuance) would naturally have a conditional answer depending on who was asking and why.

in case anyone can't tell from the tone of this post, a lot of the reasons for this relate to some of the background lore of this universe that ive alluded to both in-text and in comment replies. i don't think it's ever going to come up explicitly in-text (so far it's mostly just been alluded to in things such as Hokotate's socioeconomics as olimar ranted about in chapter 2), but in DLD Hokotate has a history of Being Colonized and exploited for resources which can pretty clearly reframe a lot of those attitudes mentioned above if you didn't get the vibe already. it just hugely informs characterization so i think it's a change that's important to make sooner than later (even if it's mostly going to be relevant in much later entries once we start getting people Not From Hokotate involved in a major way, e.g. the Koppaites).

also blah blah blah everyone is technically speaking different languages but something something universal translators are standard features or something. i can have my really nuanced worldbuilding AND handwave things. if you're going to get mad at me about handwaving stuff though id like to introduce you to a cool game called Pikmin 4 which definitely does not handwave 90% of its plot and is 100% internally consistent all the time.

anyway ill probably make these changes tomorrow night or something. all im really gonna do is change 13 instances of spelling (the other 9 are going to remain unchanged as either part of "Hocotate Freight" or one instance in dialogue) but i can't be bothered tonight lol. i also might rewrite this post to actually use sentence case etc. since it'll be an important reference post to link in the chapter 1 author's note after making this change but i just expanded this from a discord message lmao

[underlust-but-like-acearo]

Yeah, I don't want to make it a big thing but like.. Aside from the obvious things that were wrong with Underlust, as someone on the acearo spectrum and a nonbinary indivual, I do wanna point out the sort of general queerphobia that's attached to Underlust? Obviously there's more nuance to be had, but here's just some things I've been sitting on for a while.

The biggest thing in my mind was definitely the issue of how morality and sexuality were handled, because this has just always been something so glaringly obvious to me. All the quote on quote "good" characters are less sexual or not sexual at all, and the "bad" characters are overly sexual. Blah blah blah it's not up to the author to tell you what is good and what is bad, be critical... But it has always been very disconcerting to me how the character we're guided to sympathise with, Mettaton, blatantly calls the characters who are more sexual (and also portrayed as kinda unlikeable), "gross". There's a general vibe that sexuality is bad, sexuality is gross, and also that it's not the most real or goodest form of love. It's up to the asexual character to go to through the Underground and snap these goddamn heathens out of their lustful trance! And like wow?? What can I say but yikes.

Also, the issue of libido. Libido being heavily conflated with a lack of restraint and also being presented as something that makes you attracted to everyone all the time? It's not a very flattering image of sexuality, and it's also sorta misinformed. To put it shortly, libido (sexual arousal), sex acts (e.g sex), and sexual attraction (if and who you're attracted to) are different things. All the monsters in Underlust have high libidos, have a lot of sex, and wanna have it with everyone. And the asexual character we got, Frisk, probably was gonna have low or no libido, never have sex, and be sexually attracted to nobody. You had all three or you didn't, which is very reductive to say the least. It's good that asexuals were acknowledged and I love ace Frisk with all my heart.. But this is a very narrow, misguided and unfortunately common way people understand sexuality. High libido and bisexuality aren't intrinsically attached to one another. High libido and allosexuality aren't intrinsically attached to one another. High libido and sexual acts aren't intrinsically attached to one another <- being aroused doesn't make you a jerk that crosses people's boundaries, and being aroused is not always expressed openly by said person. Again, it's all just a very reductionist way to look at sexuality.

Also, this is just a teeny weeny thing, but aging up is a bit complicated of a topic for me. Having a character be of consenting age is important if they're going to be sexualised for obvious reasons, but the complete absence of children from any story featuring or discussing sex can be troublesome in its own right. Making sure kids are educated about sex from a young age and letting them be a part of discussions is important for protecting kids from sexual abuse and ensuring their sexual health. Removing children from the conversation makes them ignorant, it makes them feel ashamed, isolated, and puts them at greater risk of harm. Also, Underlust is just so obviously queer, and I'm sure I don't need to get into a conversation about how some people think that children can't be queer, or think exposing them to queerness is inappropriate. This is all wayyy beyond the scope of the original work, but I think it's important to think about.

And the last thing on my mind doesn't have to do with the au itself actually, but I'm looking towards people in the UTMV fandom. Some of y'all with your shipping are just.. Uhh.. Well. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but being overly sexual or flamboyant does NOT make you feminine. If you think being promiscuous is an inherently feminine trait, you are partaking in the sexism my guy. If you think that a gay ship NEEDS to have someone be assigned 'the guy' and someone be assigned 'the girl', you are partaking in homophobia my guy. And if you think that LUST should be the GIRL in a relationship when paired with someone else, double whammy, that is both sexism AND homophobia!! I'm bonking you on the head, cut that out. (If a gay man wants to call themselves the 'wife' in a relationship, that's their own business, but treating it like that's the standard is not okay.)

Maybe I didn't go over everything as thoroughly as I could have here, but I've been typing for a bit and I'm sure you guys get the picture. If you have commited any of the cardinal sins here (joke), that's okay. I honestly don't think the creator meant to portray this, and I don't think anyone in the fandom has bad intentions, but it's still important to examine our own prejudices and misunderstandings and learn to be better. Just because you did a bad thing or didnt know better before doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Peace and love on planet earth, let's make Underlust best au in the whole world, okay?

[pixiecaps]

What do you think are some of the biggest misconceptions of q!cellbit?

ive seen a lot of people just reduce his character to being an asshole and i think when it comes to qbagi people misinterpret his actions to mean something else when there could be a lot of complexity behind them besides oh he hates her oh hes so mean etc etc

like with his monologue when he thought green was dead and people going on he only mentioned bagi because of blah blah but he doesnt actually care and its like well theres actually a level of depth there you can analyze and try to explore if u wanted to……… i think his dynamic with qbagi is really interesting and i think theres some nuance to be had when it comes to discussing it that people throw out the window just for the sake of saying hes an awful person (which obviously yeah on some levels but theres more to what he does and says than just being a “bad” guy)

but im not a qcellbit main so 😼live laugh Stop reducing characters of their complexities

rereading this and giggling at all my “i think”

[5-7-9]

So in my Reclamation AU prequel after Bruce Wayne adopts Dick, well actually I should mention the rumors before he adopts Dick the thh ethe th. Okay when he got back, wait should I mmention before too? Nahhhh more backstory to actually further down the storyline, weirdly enough that the past and future are linked together for some reason. (TW mentions/implies of homophobia and bi erasure and pedophilia and slut shaming)

So when Bruce gets back home after being legally classified as missing and dead, he assumes a neutral persona of socialite. But the missing gaps get filled in of vacations or illegal sites or something wild. Bruce decides to use the weird playboy assumption to his advantage and uses his looks to try going on dates with people.

Then, he decided to use modeling to also hinder any suspicions, he couldn’t show his scars so he went with clothing. He somehow made tons of model friends where he got them to pretend date him for publicity. Between the models, they think he either has an ego, has a secret lover, or is gay. Now the socialites and public see the fake model dates between the few real dates. Socialites get jealous and starts making up stories like “yeah we totally slept together (fuckkkk why doesn’t he like me???)” or “y’know it’s kinda weird he never keeps any of those hotties it’s almost like he’s a bad boyfriend or there’s something wrong with him yeah? (Please please please date me instead)”

(almost forgot) I already mentioned Selina, but her rumors consisted of slut shaming, and the infantilization of Bruce. Talia is actually included for a small while (idk how to make the timeline work, so I think it’s just easier if I just don’t think about it? Intentional plot hole). So to work with my timeline, either Talia already had a baby before Bruce gets back to Gotham, or they have a fling almost right when he gets back home. Either way, the media thinks she’s one of Bruce’s foreign flings from vacation (true actually), so they kinda dismiss her as a partner candidate. She doesn’t gets brought up again until later when i figure out if she needs to meet with Bruce again before Damian. Most of Bruce’s dates include bastardization or angelification, zero in between because nuance doesn’t exist (drama is always extreme, which imo is stupid but whatever).

After Bruce adopts Dick, things take a major turn for the worst. A single father not marrying when becoming someone’s guardian??? What’s wrong with him!!! The biggest conclusion created the pedophilic rumor. “He must’ve not stayed with anyone because he likes kids!!!” This lead to the other rumor to take a twist, homophobia.

So out of pure plot convenience, Clark at some point gets in touch with Bruce to talk about the Justice League, but that gets turned into a fake relationship. See the only way to distill rumors is to use more rumors! Obviously. Idk how to deal with Clark’s reputation, so I’m making it technically a fake secret relationship that protects Clark’s identity mostly. Anyways, now the rumors leaned into the gay rumors instead of the homophobic rumors, society started saying the pedophilic rumors are homophobic. Blah blah blah and then people got “scared” of getting “canceled” so they reverted back to the average playboy stance. This has made lasting impacts towards both Bruce’s and Dick’s lives but yeah they’ve moved on.

(Honestly i just wanted to explain the fake secret relationship plot point but now I really wanna go for all the rumors)

The gay rumors including the (fake) secret relationship really got the media questioning who he’s in romantic/sexual cohorts with, male specific only. It affected some characters to distance themselves…

Jason got classist rumors and reputation, which turned into “missing or dead” rumors just like Bruce had so lots of people were expecting him to come back. Tim was basically “the perfect child” since he was already upper class and he was considered most likely to run the Wayne business in the future. Damian had two sides where one was racist and blamed Talia for existing, and the other side where they blamed Bruce for being reckless. Cass had the standard stereotypes but with ableism included. Steph never appeared in the news besides as Tim’s ex. Barbara only showed up as Gordon’s daughter.

Actually Barbara got the “dating Bruce” rumors with Bruce but that never went anywhere significant, just made things awkward between them and with Gordon. (It’s sorta related to another side plot but i don’t feel like sharing here).

Duke appeared as an adoptee but also not because he avoided the Wayne’s reputation. He gets a passing mention as someone who sometimes takes refuge in their house, as if he was never there, but he sometimes is but he just gets ignored for probably racist and classist reasons. Among Duke’s citizens group of people near him totally know him as the guy with a rich guy’s backing tho. (I have completely different ideas for him, i’ll do another post later).

Well that was fun

[burning-bubble-tea]

Ok. I get Disney sucks. I do. I hate the mouse as well. I agree it’s all bland capitalism. But I dunno something really rubs me the wrong way when people compare modern Disney villains to dreamworks villains. Like these are probably the same people to go “animation isn’t a genre” and then here they go technically treating it like a genre by comparing two different movies like Puss in Boots and Turning Red.

One is a coming of age story of a preteen with a pinch of fantasy and one is literally a fantasy. They’re different genres so comparing their villains doesn’t really do anything.

Like I’m fully just pissy about this because turning red is for me seeing Asian Canadian art on the big screen and as an Asian Canadian it really was so beautiful to see a story made by someone who went through similar struggles create a beautiful story.

Like even with my biases puss and boots is a better movie but like we cannot discount the art of Domee Shi.

Also I think these memes are harmless and people can do whatever and I’ll just not look at them but I do hope that behind the jokes people do understand that we are poking fun and not trying to put artists against each other. But trends are a pendulum. Before we wanted more complex villains who make us ponder if they’re actually evil now we want simple evil and back and forth it goes and there will always be stories like that.

Turning red is about healing a rift between generations of an immigrant family and I don’t think I’d like the movie as much if it had the mother be pure evil because the story doesn’t have a villain it has an antagonist.

Like I bet at some point some has/will make a thing about how Jack Horner being pure evil is bad actually and blah blah blah and now there’s no nuance. Cause right now it’s nuanced because a lot of media has redeemable villains or whatever but it would seem cliche if all the movies surrounding puss and boots had pure evil villains.

Obviously this entire thing is just like irking me because turning red made me feel really seen and seeing people say how lame or bad it is makes me a bit upset because I want Asian American art to be visible. I want us to be able to tell our own stories. And I know these jokes are harmless but it also just unintentionally feels like we are tearing down a piece of art in relation to another piece of art that is in the same medium but ultimately is in a different genre.

We can’t judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, but I want to see asian art swim to the top of the waterfall and turn into a beautiful dragon.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

Do you think there are religions in the zones? Aside from destroya and the witch I mean

Mhmm. A lot of religions actually survived the Wars, though in time they’ve blended in with budding Zone customs especially since older ‘joys or zoneborns found themselves responsible of teaching and/or explaining it to undergrads. Usually the older someone is, the closer their faith is to its pre-war counterpart

[possibilistfanfiction]

"the neoliberal rhetoric of the pronoun (ESPECIALLY in english) as the ultimate form of advocacy" -- it's such a relief to hear your take on ava's thoughts on pronouns bc i've always been frustrated by how limiting they are? how much stress they cause? i know pronouns are important for some folks but also we're so much more than that...

whew like ok i work in dei, mostly for youth (sport, schools, etc) but also doing lgbtq 101 workshops for upper level execs who run big sports orgs, school districts, blah blah, & it's like... people really think that getting someone's pronouns right (or even trying to get someone's pronouns right) is like........ you have done it! u are not transphobic! u understand the nuances of everyone's gender if you use the right pronoun!

& like... i get paid a fair amount of money to lowkey sell out & explain what a pronoun is (lol) but at the same time it is the fucking bane of my existence. i personally hate pronouns. i think they are legitimately so stupid lol. like... to distill the vast nuanced experience of both having a gender identity AND being perceived at all times as a gendered being (which sometimes match & sometimes don't) into a PRONOUN is just baffling to me.

i think cis people (especially those who don't really want to do the work needed to understand what abolition means -- how queerness & especially gender expansive trans identities are a crucial part of the intersection of where that ethic is rooted) just see pronouns as a sort of easy way out. like you're cool with trans people if you can remember someone's they/them pronouns. it's so gross & so deeply tried up in representational politics (diverse oppressors are still oppressors, white supremacy can be present in ethic & politic even without a white person in the room, etc).

& of course like you said pronouns are definitely important to some people (it is always nice to feel seen & respected at the most basic level 🤪) & definitely not at all saying that anyone should like get people's pronouns wrong, obviously, but i just really hate the concept of how my entire experience as a dyke & a person in general has to be reflected to the world at all times in a silly word which is so vastly incomplete. & i genuinely (not anyone's fault!) hate how that can get tied up in my writing, especially my writing about queerness. when ppl rly care abt terms & IDs etc i can understand bc the common messaging is all rooted in neoliberalism & "representation" instead of anti-state resistance, etc, so it's like. okay lol. but i am intentional in the way i write queerness bc of my own ethic & politic, so you know

ANYWAY yes. queerness & transness is so deeply expansive, to make it only about (or mostly about) pronouns is, to me, ethically against what queerness & transness really is, especially if those pronouns are mostly talked about in the context of english. & i would be remiss in saying that using non-normative &/or neopronouns is a privilege rooted in safety. often i don't disclose they/them pronouns bc i just don't want to explain myself, & i deeply do not care, but i'm always protected in a lot of ways by my whiteness (& that i'm educated, able-bodied, cis-passing, employed, etc etc etc). for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons, pronouns aren't safe. being out as trans isn't safe. but that doesn't mean their gender identities are any different or less important or less vital.

so yah ur right sorry this is a rant lmfao & once & for all.... ava is the most anti-state anti-institution character lmao. she genuinely would not give a flying fuck about her own pronouns. god doesn't fit into a pronoun anyway :)

[hagfishviperfish]

some thoughts on this game which are not spoiler free idk if anyone gets this game they absolutely need to go in blind

really enjoyed the game, gorgeous art, heart wrenching themes, loved how every section of the game had its own full-fledged atmsophere and every detail & nuance thought out, writing was lovely and full of passion, not without its flaws but very good gothic piece overall. enjoyed it with little complaint up to the end where it’s just dropped jacopo is a pedo. he was already a piece of shit but 😭 it was so completely unnecessary. that whole thing would have been fine without that age gap. there was NO reason for that to be a thing (hes a 22 year old in love with a 12 year old)

i don’t like how a lot of visual novels always sneak in some weird shit like pedophilia. this is a problem w/ fata morgana because in the sequels this is like. an actual ship it sucks. the incest plotline was hard to sit through as well but whatever at least it was self-aware about being bad and messy

michel is a great character. i love u morgana. giselle is cute too. classic gaslight gatekeep girlboss representation with maria. one of my personal favorites is yukimasa (guy on the right in this picture) because anyone who’s had more than one conversation with me knows i love freak ass bitches. it’s a shame how he was so obviously the character the writers were the least interested in, he had so much potential. his relationship with race is interesting and felt pretty real. i like his problem i like his mental illness i like men who are animals i like his codependency and i like how he’s a more typical gothic archetype, inflicted by complexities and contradictions and self-loathing and bloodlust and isolation etc. like that dramatic ass sprite with his face in his hand. i like how he was likened to a loyal dog with the way he latches onto people and puts them on weird ass pedestals (and the general… you know… gets violent when hes nervous)

the modern sequel of fatamoru - reincarnation? i think it’s called. did this guy dirty in my opinion i know it’s Their Character but i don’t like the way they made his “””urges””” so cut and dry… the ambiguity and psychology of it made so much more sense in a historical setting and when you translate that into modern it doesn’t really. carry over well. like there are so many ways to flesh out a mindset like that… i think that sequel’s just weird in general

another thing i wanted to point out is that the gruesome suffering of a trans/intersex character is so needlessly drawn out it feels almost excessive… i can see why pretty much and the impact it’s meant to have, i’m mostly neutral on it, but. holy fuck. it gets to a point where he’s dead and literally watching his body decay and shit and it’s ??? 😭 and as far as i know there was no poetic theming blah blah blah here it was just. “look what this guy went through isn’t it awful” … we get it

on the bright side THERE IS A TRANS/INTERSEX CHARACTER it was really fucking delightful to come across that

started playing house in fata morgana. nightmare blunt rotation

[gillianthecat]

11 and 20 for the ask game!

11. a trope/genre you’re kind of sick of  blushing maiden uke. please make it go away. although to be fair, BL as a whole does seem to be moving away from this trope.

I've never been a fan but I think the moment I snapped was the end of Theory of Love. How does that even fit the character?!!

I do distinguish blushing maiden uke from when the character has a valid reason to be reluctant, either because of personality or circumstances. So Amagi in Takara-kun to Amagi-kun makes sense as shy, he's young and inexperienced and feeling desire for the first time. Or, to take another OffGun example, the plot of Not Me gave a good reason for White to be reluctant at first.

Anyways, sex negativity, weird sexist heterosexual dynamics overlaid onto queer relationships, blah blah blah... We can pretend I wrote a brilliant essay about it all.

20. drama you thought you’d never watch but did (and liked it?) Hmm. Well four months again I never thought I'd be watching BL at all. (I barely knew what it was!) And obviously now I like it. So I've kind of dived in to it all, often starting things without even really knowing what they're about.

I guess maybe Young Royals? I wasn't avoiding it, but I had no plans to watch it until an anon suggested it to me, and I'm really glad I did. I liked it a lot! I expected it to be much more melodramatic and Gossip Girls-esque than it was, and, although dramatic, it's also very nuanced and grounded.

(also: jinx.)