#obviously their entire meeting was a parallel to this so it hits extra hard

[floorpancakes]

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Risk”

Welcome back, everyone! I have a lot of mixed, complicated feelings about today's episode and I'm already sure this recap will miss a great deal that should be said. There's a lot to digest, we need some time to do that, so until things have settled I think that the one, entirely confident claim I can make here is that our writers weren't BSing the fandom on twitter. The last few days have seen a number of big claims made regarding "Risk" —

— and whatever else we might have to say about the episode, it certainly delivered in terms of shocking content. From confessions to reveals to a new plan in place, there's a lot to unpack. 

So let's get started.

Our first shot is a problem. 

I don't want it to be! But I've got to work with what I've got. We open on Salem's flying monkeys — or gorillas, if we're being technical — and my immediate thought is where in the world they came from. I mean, obviously I know where. We ended Volume 6 with the post-credit scene of Salem adding wings to an army of Beringels, Hazel commenting that she'll lead the invasion herself. When Salem arrived at the end of Volume 7 and we picked up where we'd left off in Volume 8, the fandom was obviously expecting an attack led primarily by flying, transformed grimm. That didn't happen. For ten episodes the plot forgot that the Beringels existed, focusing instead of the Hound, the grimm soup, then the Whale, then the ground grimm the Whale was producing. Months back I encountered a number of posts asking, "What happened to the resource we know Salem brought to this fight?" and those questions are partly what inspired the "Introducing new grimm that are then quickly abandoned" spot on the bingo board. Now, suddenly, the Beringels have re-appeared and that is a good thing. Though it's too little, too late, as is so often the case with RWBY. Getting something you expect has a sour taste when it arrives months past when it was needed, especially when that something only exists for a second on screen. 

This is doubly true given that we saw Oscar eliminate the grimm last episode.

At least, I thought he had? Pretty much everyone I've spoken to thought he had. This last week's discussions have centered around RWBY nerfing the stakes, taking out a whole army of grimm in one, magical blast. That's far from great. Yet now we see that we were apparently wrong. Atlas remains overrun with grimm, this problem remains a problem... so, yay? But we're once left with a tradeoff. RWBY has no longer eliminated the stakes with a deus ex machina as we had originally thought, but in its place we're left with a badly executed scene last episode and an assumed problem that is "fixed" with an enemy we should have been dealing with since the start of the volume. The road to the Beringels has been messy indeed and all they've done so far is fly across the screen.

Which reminds me: if this army of grimm still exists — and absolutely existed prior to Oscar's blast — how come not a single one is attacking the Schnee manor? This opening is in Atlas, the skies are overrun, we've seen a few grimm show up to help out the Hound, yet miraculously nothing bothers the group while they freak out at the dining table, or freak out as Penny tries to leave. That's a whole lot of grimm and a whole lot of negativity... yet somehow these two things never meet in a way that would inconvenience our characters. While from a writing standpoint I can understand not wanting to interrupt all these conversations and feel good moments, the show can't simply ignore the rules of its world whenever it's convenient. If anything, given that Atlas' population is currently hidden beneath the city, Schnee manor should be even more of a hot-spot than it normally would be. There is one (1) group of people out in the open for them to target. 

Yeah, we're a single shot into this episode. It's a doozy.

Moving right along, those Atlas citizens (and, let's not forget, a large number of Mantle evacuees too) are still huddled in the tunnels, listening to Ironwood's insane broadcast. They're obviously terrified, as are those down in Mantle who are staring execution in the face. Fiona bursts into tears.

It makes me wonder why we didn't get the airship subplot now. As I've mentioned extensively in the past, that decision didn't make much sense and I think the writers knew it didn't make much sense because they chose not to reveal what Ruby and co. planned to do with the citizens once they were on board. The point was never to come up with a feasible plan, something the audience would put to the test, but rather to just make it seem like the group was doing something Smart and Heroic before Ironwood inevitably derailed it. Don't look too closely at the man behind the curtain. Normally, I'd comment that yes, it's damn hard to come up with a brilliant plan to save others in a situation like this — our characters can only be as smart as our authors! — yet that sympathy dissipates when we hit this episode and are given a scenario where airships would have been great. Ironwood has threatened to nuke Mantle. Suddenly, it is imperative that the civilians leave the safety of the crater as soon as possible (whereas before it was not). So Whitley remembers that they have access to these ships and the group hatches a plan to sneak them down while Ironwood is distracted, get everyone up into Atlas so he can't use Mantle as a bargaining chip anymore. Then they're spotted, the plan revealed, and Ironwood shoots their ships down, leaving them devastated that their attempt to help the citizens has literally gone up in flames. We're still left with the problem of why Ironwood wouldn't just allow a continued evacuation now that Salem is briefly out of the mix and the Schnees have provided extra resources — the writing really took a sledgehammer to his characterization — but the group trying to get people to Atlas to avoid death by bomb at least makes more sense than them trying to move the citizens to an undisclosed location, for unestablished reasons, when they were already relatively safe. The bomb is what makes those airships a necessity.

It really makes me wonder how much editing goes on and how much time the writers have before they finalize scripts.

Regardless, we cut from terrified people to Ironwood himself, accompanied by Winter. The animation has some nice parallels going on here, what with the same black, white, and blue color scheme, hands behind their backs, the need for robotic accommodations, and steps perfectly in synch. As we're about to see though, Winter is very good at looking the part of a loyal soldier while actually bending the rules.

However, are we really going to ignore that she betrayed Ironwood last episode? Betrayal from his perspective, that is. Winter was given a direct order, disobeyed that order, pissed off Harriet in the process, and wasn't able to give a good explanation for her actions — she was too busy being creeped out by Ironwood's reaction. For all intents and purposes she should be considered disloyal right now. Or at least under suspicion, yet Ironwood acts as if everything is fine. We've skipped over any meaningful fallout between them, or a reason why Ironwood would dismiss her betrayal. This ties into something I'll bring up later in the episode: namely, that RWBY introduces too much too quickly and doesn't have time to satisfyingly tackle — or tackle at all — the plot points they've introduced, simply because there's always a new one to focus on. We dropped the "Winter went against Ironwood at great personal risk" plotline to make room for the new "Ironwood has randomly threatened Mantle" plotline, which likewise doesn't do Ironwood's characterization any favors. I don't just mean the obvious "Omg he's willing to murder a whole city now" issue. Ironwood used to be smart, yet his unfounded trust in others makes him look foolish now: first trusting Watts, now Winter. Alongside that, the story and fandom have both pushed the idea that Ironwood is paranoid, yet that "paranoia" has only ever been attached to justified threats. If he were actually paranoid then Winter's actions would have caused him to mistrust all of the Ace Ops now, labeling everyone near him a disloyal enemy, despite evidence to the contrary (especially when it comes to Harriet). Yet across two volumes Ironwood has continually been "paranoid" only in regards to things like Cinder and Salem — proven threats — while simultaneously trusting known villains and ignoring when his subordinates straight up say, "She let our enemies go free." There’s little rhyme or reason to any of his decisions here. 

Still! A nice, meaningful shot lol.

As Ironwood and Winter get closer we see the Ace Ops discussing the threat. "Of course he's not going to do it," to which Marrow pushes back with, "So what? He's bluffing with a whole city?" This is a really, really important moment that I don't think the writers realize is important. See, everyone is shocked when Ironwood reveals that he intends to go through with the threat. The Ace Ops, Winter, Robyn, our heroes... everyone grapples with the idea that this is actually happening. Everyone has some moment of, "It's just a bluff, yeah?" and I don't think that's just denial. The characters' shock tells us that Ironwood normally wouldn't be a man who'd do something like this. Ever. That shock has to stem from something, such as an ingrained understanding that Ironwood is a protector, not a murderer. Note the difference between the fandom and the characters' reactions. Whereas a good chunk of the fandom went, "Of course Ironwood means it. We all saw this coming! Remember how he..." and then proceed to list various things — persuasive or otherwise — that prove he was always a bad guy in the making. Yet no one in the RWBY world is inclined to use those moments as evidence. Winter doesn't go, "He's not bluffing. I saw him shoot the councilman just for speaking up" and the Ace Ops don't go, "Oh, he'll do it. This is the man who destroyed his arm to take down Watts. He'll stop at nothing." After everything they've seen — the same things we've seen — there's still some instinctual, nebulous knowledge that goes, "No. Ironwood wouldn't. He's one of the good guys." We can certainly talk about real life people getting swept up in horrible institutions, unwilling to admit how bad things actually are until they hit a specific line they can't cross... but I think this is less a comment on some sort of bystander effect (RWBY isn't that deliberately nuanced lol) and more an unintentional acknowledgement that until the very sudden and entirely unexpected shooting of Oscar, Ironwood actually wouldn't have done this. The Ace Ops are reacting to a man who absolutely existed until the writing erased him and they believe the core of that man still exists. To my mind, he should, but because our show can't actually have Salem as the main villain right now, she's conveniently blown up and Ironwood takes her place.

So we've got some loaded implications there, as well as Vine's comment that he hopes "the kids" see sense now. I am begging RWBY to pick a lane already. Are they kids, or are they adults? Because that answer makes a big difference and we can't continue to have it both ways.

Ironwood and Winter arrive were Ironwood orders that she prep drones with the "payload." That's the moment Winter and the others realize he's serious. Cue that shock all around. The revelation is the last straw for Marrow, prompting him to start yelling some excellent points about how Ironwood is doing Salem's job for her. See, this accusation works. Telling a guy threatening to blow up a city that he's as bad as their villain is accurate. Having Oscar tell that same guy that he's as bad as their villain because he wants to save a city full of people... is ridiculous. Totally different setup here and RWBY got it right this time. The only line that didn't work for me was Marrow asking the Ace Ops if they believe in anything. Uh... yeah. They believe in saving Atlas + all the Mantle evacuees they got. That's pretty well established. I swear,  most RWBY speeches are padded with generic, heroic-sounding lines that don't actually mean anything, or are outright falsehoods we’re meant to ignore. 

We'll see more of that with renora.

Marrow attempts to leave and his eyes go wide as he hears the click of Ironwood's gun. Remember I said that Winter is good at playing the obedient soldier? It's after Ironwood aims that she tackles Marrow. 

On the surface it looks only like she violently disarmed him, but in reality she got him out of the bullet's path and kept Ironwood from firing at all. She saved his life, choosing to play up how she'll “take this traitor to the brig” where he belongs, rather than watching him die. A really nice moment in terms of strategy and one of the few lately where I've actually felt like I'm watching smart characters.

However, I cannot deny the uncomfortable implications in this scene. Smart or not, necessary or not, it hasn't escaped anyone's notice that one of our darkest characters was a) nearly killed by a white man and b) beat up by a white woman. To say nothing of Marrow's status as a faunus. I was cringing during his line about loyalty: “I used to wear this rank with pride. Now I see it for what it really is: a collar." 

Honestly, I don't have the qualifications to unpack all that, so let's just acknowledge that the scene, while good in some respects, was massively insulting in others. I’ll let others in the fandom defend or damn it as they see fit. 

We get a shot of how shocked the Ace Ops are that they nearly watched their team member get executed for speaking up against a bomb threat. It once again highlight's RWBY's strange depiction of violence and when it's deemed appropriate. Harriet has threatened people a couple of times now — here telling Marrow she'll shut him up herself — yet her reaction tells us that she never would have killed him as Ironwood nearly did. Threats, then, mean little... unless Ironwood is making an exaggerated comment about shooting Qrow. Then it's evidence of evil intent that's bound to come to the surface eventually. So does that mean Harriet will be trying to bomb cities herself someday? If so, it once again leaves our heroes in an awkward position, considering that Ruby started the fight Harriet wouldn't, Weiss stuck her weapon in Whitley's face, etc. If it says something awful that Winter would punch a minority — even to save his life — what does it say about Qrow that he would punch a child in anger? Outside of the easy to label actions like Ironwood's bomb threat and shootings, there exists this gray space that asks, “When are you justified to use violence? When is a threat forgivable?” The problem is, the show keeps coming up with contradictory answers. I bring this up not because Winter's punch or Harriet's threat are the most significant examples of this that we've seen, but because the themes of forgiveness and violence take center stage at the episode's end... and RWBY completely drops the ball. Keep these complications in mind. 

Before that though, the group is crowded into the dining room and no matter what else "Risk" might give us, I'm reminded that I really like the design of the Schnee manor. I'm glad the episode found an excuse to show us this room again.

My initial thought upon entering the scene was, "Are we going to talk about Penny's hack? The silver-eyed grimm? Ozpin's return?" and to RWBY's credit it touches on all of these, though I stand by my point about plotlines coming too quickly. Any one of these should have been given the space to grow, not fighting for space against the potential destruction of Mantle. If you don't acknowledge these things in "Risk" you've lost your chance (much like how "Oscar is kidnapped" replaced "Oscar has to deal with Ozpin's return," resulting in a scene where Oscar was just... randomly okay with Ozpin again. We lost the chance to deal with the first conflict introduced because we barreled into the second), yet if you do spend episode time on these issues, it feels like the characters aren't dealing with the immediate threat. Questions of silver eyes, what to do about Penny, and Ozpin's return needed to be given their due before there was an hour time limit resulting in thousands of deaths. Now, you have to wonder why Yang and Ruby are talking about their mother when a city's safety is ticking away. Where were these questions and reassurances years ago?

I think this is why this episode — maybe even this whole volume — simultaneously feels too full and too boring. We're being introduced to lots of Big Things, but then putting them off to focus on other, smaller stuff, and by the time we circle back around it's no longer the right time. We're constantly focusing on the least interesting, least important thing in the room. Why is the group sitting around with their tea when we could have moved the Hound plotline up and started this groundwork earlier? Which means we're doing that work now instead of worrying about Mantle or Penny. All of which is connected to Salem herself being here, yet Ironwood is our villain instead... We're just introducing new idea after new idea, dropping each to focus on something else when the viewer is already emotionally invested in the last conflict. It makes the show feel overly packed with problems we don't have time for while simultaneously having too much time in which the characters do nothing of importance. We're never dealing with these issues at the right time. Talking about a silver-eyed grimm while Salem is here feels like Too Much and having the girls unpack that now, with Mantle’s life on the line, feels like Too Little. Stop sitting around while you've got less than an hour to save half a kingdom! We needed this conversation in a different episode, one not already driven by a problem that’s objectively more important. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We're in the dining room and the group is listing all the stuff that has gone wrong lately. Blake mentions that Qrow and Robyn are still in custody, because we definitely want Blake remembering that Qrow exists, not one of his nieces. Ruby, meanwhile, is having a meltdown. "So then it's impossible!" she yells, head in her hands. 

Emerald sneaks in an insult: “See? If Ms. Hero here with all the answers doesn’t have one..." and the others, of course, jump to Ruby's aid. But Emerald is right! It's entirely Ruby's fault that Atlas didn't get the chance to escape with those they had. Her actions and lack of a plan led to where they are now. I'm not saying she's responsible for Ironwood's insane decisions — that's like saying he's responsible for Qrow's in relation to Clover — but Ruby indeed played the part of the hero who had all the answers... without actually having any answers. Now that things are worse than how they started, her only answer is to say it's all "impossible" and throw up her hands. Ruby is an absolutely terrible leader right now and someone should indeed be calling her out on that, it's just too bad it's Emerald, someone technically still presented as an untrustworthy figure for the next couple of minutes. (More on that later.) Any and every criticism of Ruby is dismissed out of hand. Don't believe Ironwood because he's crazy now. The Ace Ops? His boot lickers. Yang has things to say, but once Ren agrees with her she does a 180. Now Ren is heading towards an extra special apology for daring to doubt Ruby. May calls her out, only to also change her opinion the next episode. Now here's one more person, but she's a bad guy. The show has never once encouraged us to treat these criticisms seriously — never allowed them to stick, let alone lead to change — and at this point I'm done with everyone falling over themselves to absolve and praise Ruby. By making Emerald the criticizer and having Ruby throw herself a pity party, the writing ensures that the conversation goes from, "Yeah. You messed up big time and now have a responsibility to fix things" to "Aww, don't be so hard on yourself! We won't let mean Emerald insult you anymore."

Ruby makes herself the victim here. She gets so upset and acts so defeated that all anyone can do is reassure her. The focus turns towards her, a focus centered around hiding against the table, or cowering on a staircase, so that it feels cruel to call her out on her deadly mistakes when she's so clearly upset. But they still should have, especially since cowering and tears have never protected anyone else from the group's criticism. Ozpin is proof of that.

What I'm getting at is that Ruby runs away. She's faced with the consequences of her actions, is informed she needs to help come up with a solution, and instead of braving that decides it's "impossible" and literally runs from the room. While they're on a time limit. Keep this moment in mind for just a bit longer. These choices become doubly important later.

So Ruby can't handle the responsibility she violently ripped from others and the group goes out of their way to comfort her in this. Especially since the writing again decides to conflate Emerald and Ozpin through a comment of Oscar's, demonstrating that it still has no decent sense of what "responsibility" or "villainous acts" means. These scenes are three years in the making and every step getting here was dogged with problems, so the fact that the end result is a mess isn't exactly surprising.

We (thankfully) leave Ruby for a bit and instead turn to Jaune. He's amplifying Nora's aura, but admits that he can't get the scars to go away. That makes sense. After all, they're scars. His semblance helps people heal, but at this point Nora has already healed. Those scars are the result of that.

She says it was “Just another ditzy move from Nora” and I'm glad we're acknowledging that, even if it is all framed through the lens of Nora being incorrect in that assumption. Once again, the writing continually makes statements about characters, but fails to have their actions reflect that. Nora wanted to do more than just hit things with her hammer without thinking them through... and we showed that by having her hit a door with her hammer without thinking it through. Was it heroic? Absolutely. Did it lead to any growth? No. I'd much rather someone acknowledge that yeah, she did the same thing she always does, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Nora's impulsivity is a part of her and, given the talk of teammates here, she could have gotten reassurance that she'll always have people around to help her temper those impulses. Instead, we're (again) told that she shouldn't do A anymore, watch her do A anyway, the writing presents it like it’s B, Nora admits that she did A, and everyone rushes to assure her it was actually B. Just let these characters make mistakes for once, especially mistakes made in an effort to help someone. This should be the easiest and kindest way to criticize the group and RWBY can’t even manage that. 

Which brings us to Ren. Ren, I am so sorry. You deserved better than this. Nora rips into him, saying, “We were supposed to be a team, but that didn’t matter to you! You shove people out so you don’t have to feel things that are hard!" and again we have RWBY making grand statements that are meaningless. Did Ren keep things bottled up in Volume 7? Yes... and no one tried to help him with that. Instead, Nora decided to bypass his problems completely and try to kiss it better. When that (shockingly) didn't work, Ren was finally forced to open up at Yang's insistence and was abandoned for his perspective. That's what that was, literally and metaphorically: they walked away from him and made it clear that so long as he believes these things, he's not welcome. What were those things? We've made mistakes, Ruby made mistakes, we're not ready for this stuff. That's it! "We were supposed to be a team" makes it sound like Ren betrayed them in the worst possible way, when in reality all he did was acknowledge that they're imperfect and that things are a mess right now. But of course, that is the ultimate betrayal for this group: acknowledgement that they’re not perfect. Everyone can call themselves out to generate sympathy — Nora does it, Ruby does it  — but as soon as someone else agrees and implies that they should make changes, they’re dismissed. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the refusal to question Ruby makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Is this as bad as Ironwood shooting someone who questions him? Of course not, but that doesn't make it good. The group has made it clear from Ozpin to Ren that if you put a toe out of line, that's it. You're gone. You are not a part of the group until you are willing to back the group 100%, no matter what horrible things they might be up to. That Nora yells at Ren for questioning and Ren learns to keep his mouth shut, apologizing to both her and Jaune for speaking his mind is... well, it's horrible. That's not friendship. I know the fandom doesn't want to hear that given how much we otherwise love these relationships, but it's not. If you can't question and voice concerns without about serious topics like this without the threat of abandonment — literal or otherwise — then that's not a friend group you should be sticking with. Ren’s "biggest failing as a teammate and a partner" is that he didn't agree with the others and didn’t immediately change his mind when they demanded it. There are awful implications attached to that, especially since Ren’s perspective was a good one. He’s not out here slinging horrific views like, I don’t know, homophobia at the bee’s non-relationship. He just went “We made mistakes” and the group responded “Absolutely not. Absurd. Fuck you.” They didn’t even consider that position, which speaks to both a lack of respect for Ren and a level of arrogance that keeps getting them into trouble. But these issues are easily overlooked given everything else that surrounds them. Outside of Ren's apology, I quite liked the renora moment. We got a detail about Nora's backstory! She called Ren pretty! We got an "I love you"! He booped her nose!! It's all very cute and wholesome... and soured by the knowledge of what Ren had to do to get here.

Outside of these generalized responses, there are three other points I wanted to make about this scene:

Yes, more obligatory humor to ruin an otherwise serious moment. Jaune could have just smiled softly and slipped out. Or have him leave before the conversation started (because Ren shouldn't have been apologizing to him in the first place...) Instead, we got multiple seconds of him being awkward, including a bunch of funny sound effects.

I'm legitimately happy we got that "I love you" — outside of the problems since arriving in Atlas, I've always enjoyed the ship — but coming on the heels of last week's episode, it makes the bee's forehead touch look even worse. Renora has been confirmed multiple times at this point, but we still can't get something overt for our one, queer ship.

On the one hand, I really like that Nora set a boundary here — a surprisingly mature conversation for RWBY — but I'm confused as to what exactly the boundary is. She says she needs to figure out who she is without Ren, but what does that translate to on a practical, day-to-day basis? Normally, when a couple needs to figure out who they are they separate, but renora can't do that. They're still on the same team, stuck in the same war, presumably off to do the same things they've always done together. It sounds great on paper to say that Nora is going to discover who she is without Ren, but unless they separate again I don't see how that can happen. More likely, we'll get a volume or two of them looking and acting exactly as they always have, but when it comes time for relationship drama again, Nora will insist she's a different person who is now ready to be with him. That she's changed. But change requires, you know, making a change, so is renora actually going to look any different moving forward?

While these two confess their love but also decide to be separate (is that what happened?), Qrow and Robyn have knocked out some guards and retrieved their weapons. Robyn watches four security feeds, whispering, "He's... really gonna do it." See? Even Robyn, someone who never liked Ironwood and considered him dangerous from the start, is in shock that he would go this far. Qrow doesn't want to talk moral downfalls though, he's all action: "Not if we stop him first."

You know, at least Qrow is doing something. What he's doing is stupid, particularly given his motivations, but with the volume we've had I give him props for coming up with a plan and sticking to it. That's more than many of the others have done.

Yet then, suddenly, Robyn doesn't want to kill Ironwood. ...Since when? Robyn has been the most trigger happy of the lot while Qrow initially wanted to talk. Now they've switched places for no reason I can see, with Qrow all murder happy and Robyn cautioning restraint. Which admittedly isn't uncommon. Remember how Nora was all about protecting Mantle and then randomly decided to help with Amity instead? Remember how Yang was critical of Ruby and then decided to defend her to Ren? Remember how Hazel was pro-Salem until he saw a blue naked lady and decided to defect? At this point, characters just do things at random.

Robyn says that Qrow isn't trying to kill Ironwood because that's the right thing to do, only because he wants revenge. A true enough assessment. But then she follows it up by claiming that Qrow is a better huntsmen than Clover because he does the right thing. Without rehashing all my arguments regarding how Clover was not the devil incarnate for refusing to let two potential criminals walk free — especially after they attacked him — we're really playing the dead guy card now? Clover was murdered. Robyn and Qrow were participants in that murder. Now Robyn is making sweeping claims about who is the better person when Clover quite obviously isn't here to defend himself? That's all kinds of messed up.

Before they can bash the dead guy anymore though the elevator arrives. We see Qrow and Robyn's shocked expressions at whoever is behind the doors, presumably Winter and Marrow. It seems likely that Winter didn't really intend to take him to the brig. They're defecting and have now found two more allies to help them. Robyn wants a plan other than run upstairs and stab Ironwood? Winter will likely provide one.

We return to Ruby who, as established, is wallowing in the most dramatic position on the staircase. Obviously things are legitimately horrible right now and if Ruby had been given a storyline different from what we've seen since Volume 6, I'd feel sorry for her. As it stands, it's just frustrating to watch her look like the maiden of a Victorian novel while Mantle's time ticks away. 

The conversation between her and Yang is great though. At least, it is for the first few sentences. I love that the show remembered they're sisters and have them talking again. I love that Yang tries to cheer Ruby up by saying she outshines her big sis in regards to the Hound. I love that she nevertheless acknowledges that the Schnees were a part of that defeat, giving them their due rather than putting all the praise on Ruby. We establish that Yang has learned what the Hound really was. This conversation is going strong...

...but then.

"That's what happened to mom."

Really? Really? In eight episodes we went from, "Lol just because the Hound spoke doesn't mean Summer was secretly made into a grimm. That’s a crazy theory" to "Summer was absolutely turned into a grimm. That's canon now!" Except because it was made canon by Ruby just announcing it one day, we can expect for an even bigger "twist" in the future: Summer is still alive. Why wouldn't she be? The Hound was untouchable outside of silver eyes, so we have little reason to think anyone has defeated her in the last 14 odd years.

I'll admit the timeline works out better than expected (I think) with Salem killing SEWs during Maria's time before switching to experimentation, but there's no emotional weight to this. I just don't care and frankly I don't think the fandom cares either. Oh, there's plenty of excitement over the reveal, but that's all for the version of Summer Rose people have built up in their minds for the last eight years, not anything that exists in the show. If you strip away all the headcanons and fics, Summer isn't interesting because she barely exists. We know nothing about her as a person and therefore we have no reason to care that she's likely another Hound. Worse — because maybe this could be smoothed over if we just care since Ruby cares — everything else surrounding this reveal was badly done. Summer, as said, has been a non-character for this whole series. Yang only just remembered two episodes ago that Summer is her mom too. The only evidence of experimentation we've seen is on other grimm, not people. There was more mystery surrounding why Tyrian was interested in Jaune, not why he'd kidnap Ruby (Big Bads always want to kidnap heroes). We have no idea who this silver eyed faunus was. We have no idea why Salem would randomly start experimenting when she doesn't need additional weapons. We don't know why she would keep these weapons to the sidelines when she’s apparently had them for over a decade. I don't even buy that Ruby, someone who we never see thinking about or questioning any of this, suddenly put all these pieces together to hit on the revelation. 

None of this adds up because it wasn't planned. Summer was dead, added to the series purely because having a dead mom is interesting, and she was treated as dead for seven years. Not just by the characters, by the show. Then, suddenly, the narrative raced to remind everyone that she's supposedly a Very Important Character so we could get this twist. It’s awful. Not because the idea itself is horrible, but because it was shoved into a story that wasn't prepared for it and certainly doesn't need it. The group has Salem herself attacking the kingdom, Ironwood threatening destruction, three Relics still to discover, not to mention all the other personal conflicts going on — Emerald walking around the mansion, Ozpin is back, Penny is being controlled, Oscar has finite magic now, Nora is still recovering — but we're going to introduce another subplot to deal with? RWBY acts like it's terrified that if it doesn't add something new and flashy every third episode, its viewers will jump ship. Despite its hiccups, there's a reason why the arcs of Volume 4 worked well overall: characters were given the time to explore specific problems, like Yang's PTSD and the destruction of Ren's village. Now, in episode 11 of 14, RWBY reveals that two of the characters' mom was turned into a literal monster, but there's only time for a tiny bit of comfort because Penny is escaping and they have less than an hour now to save Mantle. There is way too much going on and we're not devoting enough time to any of it.

Hell, even the conversation can't afford to stay on the Summer reveal for more than a few sentences. Ruby segues back to her self-chastisement, saying that she wasted time on Amity. She did, but not because people didn't come. She never should have made that terrifying, nonsensical announcement to begin with. But just like Ruby never thought through the pros and cons of telling the world about Salem, she apparently never thought about the logistics of getting help. She's written the world off now — so you just know help will appear in the finale — yet she never considered how long all this would take. Our timeline is (supposedly) two days, so how long would it take a kingdom to digest the information she gave them, decide on a course of action, get people and resources together, then fly all the way to Atlas? After Ruby used most of the first day just to send the message? As I and others have pointed out, the answer is “way longer than the group has.” It shouldn't be possible, yet neither Ruby nor Yang realizes basic facts like, "What's the flight time between Vacuo and Atlas?" Like Qrow blaming his semblance rather than his decision to team up with Tyrian, Ruby blames the world for abandoning them rather than her terribly thought out plan. Both have reached the right emotion — regret — but not for the right reasons.

Also, Ruby says that Amity fell. Are Pietro and Maria okay??

Yang talks about blind optimism vs. no optimism at all, something I could really get behind if the group hadn't been governed by blind optimism this whole time. Also if what the rest of what Yang said made sense. She fires back with, “And in case you didn’t notice, my plan for Mantle didn’t work either." Uh... what plan? As far as I recall there was no plan. They just went down to do any tasks that needed doing: supply runs and grimm killings. What plan is Yang talking about?

This conversation is a disaster. We circle back around to Summer with Yang saying she also took a risk (the title is very obvious this episode) but "she's still my hero." Is she? Because the only thing you've ever said about Summer is that she baked great cookies. Regardless, Yang lays her head on Ruby's shoulder and they cry some more.

Then Jaune hurries down the steps because Penny has woken up and broken through a window.

Again: how were they planning to deal with this? Did anyone discuss it? Because it looks like Klein said, "Hey, that friend of yours powered up and could have hurt us," Nora said, "Hey, Penny was fighting some sort of control," and Whitely said, "Yeah, she wanted to open the vault and then self destruct" and everyone just left her alone in some room, deciding they'd worry about that later. If Penny had just snuck out a little more quietly the group would have been screwed.

What I do like though is the teamwork to keep Penny from flying off. It feels like we get so little teamwork nowadays, which makes everyone piling on others' range weapons, or Jaune boosting Weiss' glyphs, really enjoyable. Even Emerald gets in on the action because apparently they gave her her weapons back! 

We're going to talk about this nonsense in a second.

For now, Ruby implores Penny to fight it, which is exactly what I said we'd get. Penny insists Ruby kill her though, saying that if she does she'll ensure that the power passes to her. I find this to be a weird priority. Does the group really care about who gets the Maiden powers right now? The threat here is that Penny will successfully open the vault — which shouldn't even be that much of a worry. Just let Ironwood leave instead of trying to destroy Mantle! Keeping him here has made things worse! — and that Penny will self-destruct. That feels like the biggest worry: that Penny will die. So they're going to prevent her death by... killing her themselves? Priorities and motivations really feel shaky this week.

Luckily, Ruby remembers that Penny is A Real Person and tells Jaune to amplify her aura. The fact that she has a soul keeps the virus from overtaking her. Hurray!

That's like saying my sense of self will beat off rabies. Just believe that you're your own person and nothing can touch you. They go so far as to say, “That’s who you are. Our friend, not a machine” and that feels like such an erasure to me. Penny is a machine. She is! And that was great back when this was accepted as a good thing, not something to ignore. Remember this?

You think just because you've got nuts and bolts instead of squishy guts makes you any less real than me?

Here, Ruby acknowledges Penny's difference and reaffirms that she still has worth. Now, the group denies Penny's difference in order to prove that she has worth. She has worth because she's supposedly not a machine and supposedly can't be controlled like one... even though she is a machine and is being controlled. It's only Jaune's semblance that keeps her from going under again. The concept of Penny's personhood is now connected to her ability to resist a machine-based virus and she has failed to do that. This doesn't confirm Penny's humanity, it tells Penny (and us) that humanity is distinct from the machine parts of her, rather than a concept that includes it, and the moment she is too influenced by that machinery she ceases to be a person. The group isn't accepting her here, they're encouraging Penny to ignore and deny the parts that make her Penny.

If you want an example of how to do an arc like this far, far better, go watch The Next Generation with Data. He's what Penny could have been.

Regardless, the virus has been held at bay, at least so long as Jaune has aura. Which seems to be endless given that he was exhausting himself in the whale, but is now boosting Nora, Weiss, and Penny without any difficulty.

At least that's a minor concern in the grand scheme of things. What we're about to get? Not so much. Honestly, I'm 7k into this recap and I just don't have the energy that these two scenes deserve. Which scenes? The one where Emerald is welcomed into the fold with laughter and Ozpin has to grovel for forgiveness.

Emerald first. Last week I said:

“However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That’s it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the “right” thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang’s complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We’re supposed to just accept that she’s a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

and I was right. Over the course of the last week I spoke with a number of friends, many of them working under the belief that this was just the start of an arc for Emerald. Obviously the show wouldn't instantly have the group trust her after all this. They'll need to warm up to her first. She'll need to prove herself. Well, I was far more pessimistic, arguing instead that I thought this was it. She was already being presented as a perfectly trustworthy figure. I'd briefly thought I'd been mistaken when the group turned on Emerald for her comment to Ruby, but then suddenly she's been given her weapons back. It's not even a matter of "You should be able to defend yourself, but you're still not trustworthy" (which would still have problems, but). No, she makes a comment about "switching sides" and that's it, trust achieved. That's all it took — nothing at all.

Now, some shows do function on a second chance policy. We can name hundred of stories where heroes instantly forgive antagonists and there's nothing wrong with that. The problem is that RWBY is very much not that show. In the exact same scene Ozpin apologizes to the group and begs that they try to trust him again:

“I’ve failed all of you. I should have trusted you with the truth and I should never have run the day you discovered it."

This is complete and utter bullshit. Sorry, I'm not mincing words for this one. Two years we waiting for the group to come around, hoping that there would be apologies on both sides, but there wasn't. The group doesn't physically or verbally hurt Ozpin anymore — they do accept his request — but it's done with expressions that say this is what they are owed. You’d better apologize.

I could rehash all the arguments I've already made about how atrociously they treated him, how Ozpin had no reason to trust a bunch of teenagers, how important it was that both sides admit their mistakes, but if you're reading this recap you're likely already familiar with all that. Rather, what I want to emphasize here is that our opinions on Ozpin don't even matter here. Even those who take his apology at face value — fully believing he did fail them, he should have told them everything from the start, and that him leaving was "running away" rather than being driven off — even if we accept for just a moment that Ozpin is as guilty as the show says and heinous as the fandom claims... surely he's not as bad as Emerald? In roughly chronological order she has:

Tried to ally herself with Adam along with Cinder and Mercury

Helped to attack Amber, resulting in injuries that would have killed her if Cinder hadn't gotten to her first

Helped kill Tukson

Pretended to be a transfer student and Ruby's friend for the rest of the semester (that’s a lie that would breed mistrust)

Tricked the world into thinking that Yang had attacked Mercury unprovoked

Uses her semblance on Pyrrha, causing her to unintentionally kill Penny

All of this was in service of the Fall of Beacon, an event that destroyed a school, killed an unknown number of students, killed Pyrrha, and lost Yang her arm

Participated in the attack on Haven which, beyond the intent to further Salem's goals, nearly got Weiss killed

Came to Atlas to assist in the next attack

Went after Penny, Pietro, and Maria — two of whom might still be in trouble depending on if Amity literally fell out of the sky 

Listened to Oscar being tortured, hemming and hawing for a while before realizing that, if the whole world is in danger, she's in danger too

Finally jumped ship

Emerald is one of the bad guys. All the sad looks over the years doesn't change that. Yet somehow an antagonist we've had since Volume 1 is considered more trustworthy than Ozpin, a man who hasn't intentionally helped kill their friends and who has been helping and apologizing for months now.

Yang "Aww"s when Emerald speaks. Just sit with that for a second. The woman who went through all of that horror because of Emerald, who just last episode was correctly saying they can't expect her to forget all that, is going "Aww" after... Emerald helped hold Penny for two seconds? This is ridiculous. These are the faces of the group when talking about Emerald's trust

whereas these are their expressions when talking about Ozpin's

It’s not a matter of who deserves trust or not, here it’s purely a matter of comparison. Emerald should not be more quickly forgiven than Ozpin. 

Now toss in the story Ozpin tells. Unsurprisingly, it's another fairy tale — we've gotten a little heavy-handed lately — about a young girl who flees the consequences of a choice and, having never learned from her initial failure, spreads even more trouble. That's Ruby. That is Ruby to a T in this episode and the last three volumes. She is literally a young girl who has caused staggering consequences, literally ran away from the conversation about those consequences, and is now poised to continue making those mistakes because everyone keeps reinforcing her flaws. That's Ruby, yet somehow the show thinks it's Ozpin. He positions himself as the young girl here, as if he didn't face his consequences generations ago when he left the cabin, didn't learn from his mistakes by keeping Salem's secret, and hadn't been driven away by the very people he's asking for a second chance. This scene has everything backwards and while normally I'd grab hold of the possibility that maybe things will right themselves later on... we're done. This is the ending of that arc. After two years of saying, "Maybe, maybe, maybe," Ozpin has been taken back into the fold after begging his way back in. There's no more time to correct things. RWBY missed its chance. Weiss says that "Trust is a risk" and that's how Ozpin is forgiven. They have taken the risk of trusting him again after months of reflection, life-saving actions, and apologies. Emerald is granted the risk of trust in under an hour. I’ve heard so many people say they’re dropping RWBY this volume and scenes like this are precisely why. 

Ugh. Heavy stuff, folks! I feel like I need to lighten the mood. Here, let's take a moment to acknowledge that the Schnees and Klein only marginally know what's happening.

Someone help them.

That is, to all intents and purposes, the end of our episode. Ruby has some sort of epiphany about actually handing Penny over — "That's actually a risk we haven't considered" — and Ironwood will no doubt fall for whatever plan they've concocted because he's stupid now. He receives a call from Ruby saying they agree to his terms, Watts is attempting to get communication of his own up and running, and Neo arrives to do... whatever she intends to do. Idk, I have assumed she wanted Ruby, but Cinder obviously doesn't have her yet for a trade off. Regardless, Neo is ready for a fight while Cinder just smiles. Team up 2.0?

As for bingo, I'm using my free space for "Worst redemption arc I've ever seen," with an honorary nod to Hazel too, and Ozpin's square gets blacked out in exes because that was just #bad.

This bingo board is a mess. Appropriate lol 

Three more weeks, everyone. Hang in there! 💜

[mangadumpingground]

Now some background information on our two favorite girls:

Kurosawa Yurine

In the same class as Ayaka, she is a "genius" in a nutshell. Nobody can beat her and she usually spends her time sleeping. Yet one day, after Ayaka has helped her open herself a tiny bit, she falls in love and becomes obsessed with her, thinking she has found the one person who can best her.

The Ace: She is good at everything she does, be it in studies, sports, or even art. But since she succeeds at everything without even trying, she can't get invested in anything.

Animal Motifs: During her more excitable moments, she's drawn with dog ears.

Asleep in Class: Her default mode. If she's ever seen awake during class, it's because the teacher woke her up.

Caring Gardener: Her increasingly genuine interest in gardening parallels her growing sociability as the series progresses. She starts as an isolated girl who joined the gardening club more or less out of obligation, to a caring senpai who's willing to make friends and tries to make the gardening club prosper again. By the end of the series, she decides that she wants to become a florist.

Character Development: She has gained quite a few social skill points since the beginning of the series, and has become slightly less fixated on Ayaka alone (although she's still her main motivation). She even decides to join a club eventually. Chapter 22-23 is an important step, as for the first time, Yurine tries to interact with Ayaka not as a "rival" or a one-sided crush, but as someone she genuinely cares and worries for, giving her words of comfort that would have been unthinkable at the start of the series. Volume 7, being mostly from her point of view, emphasizes how much more fulfilling her life has become since she met Ayaka… and how much Ayaka, on the other hand, is still stuck in a state of mind not unlike that of the early Yurine.

Cool Big Sis: Sumire sees her as this, and well, she has reasons to.

Covert Pervert: She may not show it all the time, but in addition to their competition, she's also definitely curious of Ayaka's body.

Deuteragonist: She's as much of a protagonist as Ayaka, as a good chunk of the chapters about their relationship are from her own point of view. Her Character Development is also somewhat more noticeable than Ayaka's.

Ditzy Genius: Sure she can ace any test and learn at the speed of light, but that doesn't prevent her from occasionally being strangely clueless or taking odd actions − like trying to catch a paper stuck in a tree, even though it's obviously out of her reach and she's sitting on the second floor window.

Friendless Background: According to herself. In the first chapter, Chiharu notes that her excess of ability makes her hard to approach, and she is pretty distant herself. Though meeting Ayaka, Mizuki and Ai helped her open up it seems.

Green-Eyed Monster: Downplayed but clearly played straight. Yurine envies/admires Ayaka because she has a "role" in their school (see I Just Want to Have Friends below), and participates in life to a degree that Yurine can't.

Heavy Sleeper: Because she feels like she has nothing better to do than sleep, as she considers herself a bother for other people.

I Just Want to Be Normal: She's sick of people praising, relying on or being jealous of her because of her talent. All she wants is to find someone who will make her feel like an ordinary girl, and Ayaka is that person.

I Just Want to Have Friends: Played with. She wants to belong somewhere, but is too dismissive of (or possibly disillusioned from past experiences with) people to engage with them.

Innocently Insensitive: She's so apathetic about talking to anyone, for any reason, that she comes off as rude. By the end of volume 7, she has thankfully improved quite a bit in this department.

Insufferable Genius: Has shades of this when she rubs Ayaka's "no.2" ranking in her face just to piss her off.

Lonely at the Top: And one reason she falls in love with Ayaka is that, finally, someone seems to be able to (eventually) best her.

Luminescent Blush: In chapter 35, she sports this when Ayaka holds her hand (because Yurine forgot her gloves); and later, for the first time her teasing backfires as Ayaka's (supposedly reluctant) kiss completely makes her lose her composure.

Mood-Swinger: Usually aloof and bored, but whenever she is with Ayaka, she can go from euphoric to teasing to pouty to Cloud Cuckoolander, all in an instant. In any case, she is clearly in heaven just by being with her.

No Social Skills: Generally ignores people, doesn't censor her speech, often intrudes on Ayaka's personal space, etc. As of chapter 22, she's improved with regard to the latter.

Photographic Memory: Implied, as she can memorize an entire textbook page with one casual reading.

Too Much Information: She ogles Ayaka. We know this because she tells her.

The Gadfly: An expert at rubbing Ayaka the wrong way.

The Tease: She takes an intense delight in playing with Ayaka, often physically. It can go quite far, yet the latter shows surprisingly little resistance to it.

Single-Target Sexuality: She has eyes only for Ayaka and only seems to feel any kind of satisfaction when she is at her side. Though chapter 11 subverts this when Ayaka tells her that in the end, she would just love anyone who can beat her. Yurine's answer is that it might be true, to Ayaka's shock. Afterwards she herself starts to worry that her feelings for Ayaka may not go further than that.

"Shut Up" Kiss: Gives one to Ayaka in chapter 12, when the latter warns her that her club activities might detract her from the tests.

Supreme Chef: Par for the course. So supreme that she can cook while sleeping.

Took a Level in Kindness: Through her interactions with Ayaka, Ai, and the gardening club, she becomes considerably less of a jerk over time, although she still has her occasional bouts of teasing.

Shiramine Ayaka

A self-proclaimed "model student", she is obsessed with being the first at everything and thus sees her world turned upside-down when Yurine appears in high school.

Aggressive Submissive: Kind of. For all her defiance, Yurine can play her like a harp when she's in a flirtatious mood.

Armor-Piercing Question: She gives one to Yurine in chapter 11, but she's the one hit hard by Yurine's laconic answer.Ayaka: You say I'm special to you but… in the end, you would like anyone able to beat you, wouldn't you?" Yurine: *Beat*… You may be right.

Belligerent Sexual Tension: Not belligerent on Yurine's side, but on hers, definitely.

Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Subverted. When she's alone with people close to her like Mizuki or (though she hates to admit it) Yurine, she's quite aggressive and stubborn. But that doesn't mean the kindness and helpfulness she shows towards her classmates isn't genuine. The few times she has a supporting role in another girl's arc (mostly in volume 8 with Hikari and 9 with Mikaze), she appears much friendlier than when she's the focus.

Character Development: Chapter 15 shows that she has largely gotten used to Yurine's presence and has become somewhat more conscious and accepting of her sweet side. In any case she doesn't reject her as strongly as early on. Continued in chapter 23 where she lets Yurine spend the night with her on the beach, whispering what seems to be a "thank you" and kissing her forehead. At that point, while she still wants to defeat her, she no longer shows any desperation or anger about it. By chapter 40, her motivation has shifted from wanting to defeat Yurine so that she can forget about her to wanting to defeat her so that she can admit her own feelings to her.

Class Representative: Unsurprisingly, she seems to be this (at least in role).

Determinator: She will not give up until she has gotten her first place back from Yurine, and won't allow Yurine to give up either. By chapter 35 it actually has become a double-edge sword in their relationship: she refuses to bond with Yurine further as long as she hasn't defeated her, but at the same time she won't acknowledge any bond with her beyond their competition (despite obviously showing that she cares for her). This is the opposite situation from chapter 11 mentioned above, in a way.

Expressive Hair: Mostly in the early chapters, where they tended to float around a lot. It became more straight and static as the art got somewhat cleaner around volume 5.

Go-Getter Girl: Ayaka sees it as absolutely imperative to be the best at absolutely everything.

Good Angel, Bad Angel: Subverted, as their roles are reversed. The good angel tells her to focus on being the best and reject Yurine at all costs; the bad angel tells her that Yurine isn't a bad person and that there's nothing wrong with being friends with her.

Hidden Buxom: She turns out to be far more busty than she seems in her uniform. She's apparently a D-cup according to Yurine.

Not So Different: It's not as immediately obvious as with Yurine, being the School Idol and helping various people around at school, but as we go on it's increasingly clear that she doesn't have any actual friends either. Mizuki even sarcastically points it out in chapter 18.In another sense, during Ayaka's Heroic BSoD she acts antisocial and listless, much like Yurine's default state. Again, this is pointed out by Yurine herself (who had some Character Development in the meantime) in chapter 35.

Out of Focus: Despite technically being a protagonist, there are actually very few chapters from her point of view (if you don't count the extras). Chapter 1 and 2, chapter 11, half of chapter 15, chapter 22-23, chapter 40 and that's pretty much it; in other chapters she only appears for a few pages, if at all, and volume 7 is primarily centered on Yurine with Ayaka in a supporting role. It doesn't help that, rather ironically, Ayaka almost only interacts with Yurine (and sometimes Mizuki) while Yurine herself intervenes in other characters' arcs. This only changes in the last two volumes, where she briefly gives advice to Mikaze in volume 9 and finally gets full focus in volume 10.

School Idol: And that's her pride, even if Yurine is no.1 in grades.

Second Place Is for Losers: She does not take losing to Yurine by three points lightly.Mizuki: Why does it bother you so much to be second? It's awesome. Ayaka: Yeah, for someone like you who is around the 150th place, being first or second probably doesn't make much of a difference!

Smart People Wear Glasses: She occasionally sports these when studying.

Tareme Eyes: Art Evolution made her distinctively drooping eyes more prominent, making her look somewhat less aggressive in later volumes. It might also serve to outline her bad eyesight.

Tsundere: While she usually shows an admirable façade at school, she shows a more aggressive side when alone with Mizuki, and completely loses her composure when it comes to Yurine. She can admit she is awesome and can't help but look at her constantly, but refuses to acknowledge that she's attracted to her. Made more amusing by the fact that even Yurine herself can see it. Interestingly though, that dynamic starts to be reversed in volume 7-8, where Yurine is now the one losing her composure while Ayaka calmly listens to her worries.

Well Done Daughter Girl: Implied in a flash-back, where her mother scolds her because she got "only" 95/100 at a test, while Mizuki's mother praises her for getting an 88. And confirmed in chapter 22 where Ayaka breaks down under the pressure and decides to say "screw that, I no longer care if I'm not the best".

Workaholic: She will study to death and work harder than any student, but she admits than she doesn't really have a precise goal beyond "being no. 1". This seems to come at least partly from her mother's overly high expectations.

[bthump]

what do you think about the prophecy? "He is the one who shall bring an age of darkness upon the world" what does this mean? is griffith really going to turn out being the bad guy( I hope not) or guts is going to change this prophecy somehow? (because he should have been a sacrifice but he is alive?) also why does schierke call griffith false?

Ok so I re-read a bunch of scenes relating to the prophecy to try to come up with a decent answer, and honestly I think I might’ve been better off just going “idk probably depends on your pov” lol.

But I came up with some things to say and I’ll try to lay out my thoughts in a somewhat organized way here, so bear with me.

At the end of the Eclipse, Slan is all, now that the fifth angel is here the time of darkness descends. Then she defines exactly what the Age of Darkness will entail:

Soon Farnese shows up and recites the prophecy. This also happens right after the Eclipse, before the Black Swordsman arc will have taken place, two years before the next time we see these guys:

The fifth angel, the Hawk of Darkness, pretty obviously Femto. There’s no mystery here.

And honestly, the Age of Darkess is pretty explicitly discussed during the Conviction Arc. There’s really no mystery there either, at least not yet.

(I’m relatively certain that last line is essentially identical to “they sensed intuitively” from NGriff’s resurrection, and which I’ve also seen translated as “knew,” and so I wouldn’t put too much stock in the word “believed” there as purposefully leaving room for doubt, just fyi.)

Like, this is hammered in over and over. This prophetic dream of plague and natural disasters and war and famine, followed by Laban bemoaning the state of the world as these events come true and he encounters a landslide and a village full of plague, and we see tens of thousands of starving refugees outside the Tower of Conviction, and Kushan war elephans make an early appearance, etc.

Dark shadow, darkness that covers the world, thick darkness, utter darkness, etc etc. It’s not subtle, and it’s pretty clearly the intended follow-through to Slan’s words and Farnese’s prophecy. The Conviction Arc shows us the world that’s shitty enough to motivate humanity to will a saviour into being.

Also while Age of Darkness sounds a little too impressive to be boiled down to a measley 2 years that suck extra hard, I’d argue that this is more like the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Plague and famine etc just draw into sharp relief the divide between the have and the have-nots, which is largely what the Conviction Arc is about. It’s about nobility terrorizing peasants through the Inquisition, and neglecting peasants as Laban muses that the King is too obsessed with trying to find Griffith to allocate resources to relief efforts, and how much this fucks the world up.

The Conviction Arc shows us a pretty good example of a world where darkness, ie wickedness, hatred, hostility, the dead, and illusion (I’d argue Mozgus’ brand of religion, especially with how much fun the narrative has with painting it as super fucked up and hypocritical etc, like God’s love being a torture chamber, fits that bill) covers the light.

And it’s the kind of world that Femto requires in order to be incarnated physically.

So whether the “Hawk of Darkness,” directly caused this “Age of Darkness,” or whether it’s more like, yk, humanity/fate caused it itself because humanity’s negative emotions reaching a critical point allows him to incarnate and change shit up as per humanity’s desires (this is all there in the Lost Chapter), I’d stay it fits the prophecy. Femto = Hawk of Darkness = Age of Darkness = all the darkness of humanity emphasized.

But this gets muddy once NGriff does show up and we get the sequence where his apostle captains meet him etc:

Like okay, so Schierke’s maybe just reciting the old prophecy, since it’s the exact same wording Farnese gave us, so maybe this doesn’t change what we were lead to believe was the Age of Darkness? I mean at this point we’d be still in the midst of it, going by what was stated in the Conviction Arc. The future tense could just be because it’s an old prophecy.

But the future tense is there (and I double checked with a scanlation lol, and it was there in that translation too, so I’m assuming it’s part of the original Japanese wording), and it’s worth considering that this is still meant to be foreshadowing and the Age of Darkness is yet to come. In which case it would presumably be Fantasia.

So one possibility is that the Conviction Arc is either a giant Age of Darkness red herring or it has been retconned out of being the Age of Darkness, and we’re meant to understand Fantasia as the prophecized Age of Darkness brought down by the Hawk of Darkness.

I’m not fully on board with this possibility because a) the Conviction Arc was pretty damn straightforward and made perfect sense as the AoD and I hate retcons, and b) Fantasia is defined by light lol, not darkness. Both literally in that a bright white light envelops the Earth as it changes and it’s often described in terms of light, and figuratively in that I’d suggest every one of Slan’s examples of light up there (love, hope, etc) is illustrated in the nature of Fantasia. Humanity joining together despite differences including apostles, hope, astral planes merging (which I’d argue makes the world more real, not less), the living (NGriff’s funeral services make people more at peace with the idea of death and able to emotionally recover from the loss of loved ones much easier), and I’d also argue that this chill easy going accepting version of organized religion we’ve seen fits the ‘sacred’ bill a lot better than Mozgus’ horrific version.

Admittedly you can argue the opposite for some of these points, like maybe Griffith’s funeral services making people more cool about death is a bad thing and an example of death eclipsing life. Maybe the astral plane is supposed to be more illusion than reality. Maybe we’re eventually going to see hostility and hatred in the world outside Falconia. Hell, maybe the Sea God slog was meant to be indicative of the ~darkness~ (and to be fair I did not re-read much of the sequence to try to find examples of the narrative evoking darkness as a description, so it could be there. But it’s gonna take more than an anon ask to get me to re-read the entire Sea Sea god subplot lol.) But even from Guts’ perspective the joining of the astral plane also includes wholesome Elfhelm-y shit, so it’s still not as simple as evil sea gods and monsters now getting to fuck shit up, we also get helpful mermaids and stuff.

So yeah so far given what we know, the pre-Fantasia world fits the description of the Age of Darkness perfectly and really heavy-handedly lol, with all the references to darkness involved, and Fantasia is a lot less clear-cut.

So the way I’d interpret this prophecy is that Griffith is both the Hawk of Darkness and the Hawk of Light, which imo is likely to be in part an on the nose reference to Femto as his inner darkness vs NGriff who does, in fact, save the world in a way characterized by light lol.

And which one you see him as depends on your point of view. It’s not that Sonia is wrong and being tricked and Schierke is right and sees the truth. It’s that Sonia, living in the Age of Darkness, losing her parents and almost being enslaved etc, and being saved by Griffith, is in a position to see Griffith as a saviour, along with most of the rest of humanity, which was collectively crying out for a change that Griffith’s dream and goals in particular are suited to enacting.

Schierke, distanced from humanity, not actually in danger of being burnt at the stake or starving to death or whatever, and more knowledgeable about the astral plane, sees Griffith as the Femto-y Hawk of Darkness, king of the blind white sheep (his human followers, one presumes), master of the sinful black sheep (apostles one also presumes).

And the fact that this chapter doesn’t end on Schierke’s assessment but on Sonia looking on at Griffith in awe, followed by yk 150 odd chapters of NeoGriffith being portrayed as the protagonist of his half of the story rather than the antagonist of Guts’, followed by seeing those “sinful black sheep” and “blind white sheep” up close as interesting and likeable characters in their own right who go out of their way to help people (Sonia rescuing Kushan children, later apostles helping humanity, eg), make friends with some of Guts’ rpg group including Schierke, at one point join Guts and co in a fight against a greater enemy while being directly paralleled to Guts (Zodd), etc suggests that maybe that particularly harsh description is not fully accurate or fair.

If Fantasia does turn out to be the (an?) Age of Darkness after all, I imagine that would also be depicted as a more dual thing depending on your perspective. For those getting eaten by dragons, yk, maybe Age of Darkness is a fair description. For those living in peace, maybe it’s not.

Also as an aside, to address a counterpoint I just came up with lol, I don’t think the relative tininess of Falconia vs the rest of the world has much bearing on this. Miura’s Berserk is pretty solely focused on this one particular chunk of the world, and there’s virtually no acknowledgement that Midland and the surrounding area is actually just a tiny microcosm of the world. I mean, the Godhand and the Idea of Evil are presumably not solely the manifestations of fantasy Europeans’ negative subconsciousnesses, but it’s their suffering and their inequal society that allows Griffith to manifest physically. No acknowledgement as to whether like, the wildly different societies throughout the world, some of which are probably more equal and less hit by plague and famine, and therefore more content, should counterbalance all the suffering in Midland and area lol.

To me this feels like a pretty typical issue/trope with medieval fantasy that Miura’s just kind of casually playing into bc he doesn’t particularly care about subverting it or making a point about it so much as he cares about using this established structure to tell his own story. Even during the Fantasia montage, we only saw medieval pseudo-Europe. The lone acknowledgement that the world is technically bigger than a stretch of land between Midland and fantasy India (+ Elfhelm) was the page of the bright light spreading across the Earth as seen from space. And like, a secretive conversation between 2 of Guts’ current allies (Magnifico and Roderick) discussing the possibility of colonialism lol.

Again, maybe we’ll see acknowledgement in the future? Maybe eventually the narrative will come out and say that yeah, it’s absolutely absurd to think that a happy kingdom whose residents number in the thousands is a beacon of hope for 99.99% of the world that has no way to get to it lol and is presumably, in theory, stuck with their own dragons and stuff now. Maybe Berserk will ultimately turn out to be a giant thoughtful subversion of European-esque fantasy stories that treat Europe as the centre of the world. But based on what we’ve seen so far I don’t think there’s much reason to assume that lol.

Like even the Elfhelm warlocks don’t point that out when they had the perfect chance to, they just say that it sucks that Griffith made his kingdom the only peaceful place, forcing people to choose between Fantasia and Falconia. They don’t say that the vast majority of the world doesn’t even get access to that choice lol, and so I don’t think it’s meant to be relevant.

I also want to point out that Miura redacted the Lost Chapter because it gave too much away too soon, and has since spent some time hinting about things those of us who’ve already read it probably know.

Like Flora doesn’t know what that something lurking in the abyss is, but we do, and it’s humanity’s dark, painful subconscious itself.

Griffith is essentially the avatar of humanity, hence why he’s humanity’s “desired,” and is remaking the world in humanity’s collective image. And like humanity isn’t all good or all evil but contains both, so does NeoGriffith, imo. Even the “Idea of Evil” isn’t evil itself, it simply fulfills a role humanity desires - the role of villain, essentially. It’s the reason why bad things happen, it’s the scapegoat for humanity.

The Hawk of Darkness is symbolic of the darkness of humanity - and that’s pretty much the point of Femto, I mean just check Slan’s heavy-handed Eclipse commentary of “this is what it means to be evil. This is what it means to be human” - and the Hawk of Light is symbolic of at least the potential humanity has to overcome that darkness, imo.

I’ve always puzzled over pain vs salvation there, and I still do, but hey one possibility is that it’s a suggestion that humanity’s over the Idea of Evil being the scapegoat that brings them pain (fate making bad things happen basically, so humanity has something to blame), and wants it to bring them salvation instead - light. And through NGriff’s transformation of the world, humanity reaches that light themselves by uniting in peace to survive against their own demons. Even outside of Falconia, humans are only going to be able to live in a world full of fantasy monsters by uniting together lol.

And like until I’m conclusively proven wrong I’m going to maintain that

Fantasia being defined through joining humanity together is pretty solidly framed as a positive thing. Maybe humanity working together in peace is light and salvation, love over hate, hope over hostility, reality over illusion (the ultimately meaningless differences that divided people), etc.

SO I guess at the end of the day what I think is that Griffith is simultaneously the Hawk of Darkness and the Hawk of Light, that while Fantasia has some downsides to say the least lol we’re not necessarily supposed to take Elfhelm Warlock dudes’ assessment as the be all end all either. We’re getting 2 sides to this utopia story and we’re probably meant to judge for ourselves whether it seems worth it or not. Schierke would say no and prioritize the darkness of Griffith, ie the Hawk of Darkness, Sonia would say yes and prioritize the light, the Hawk of Light, and neither are wrong. But idk, maybe both might be able to grow from seeing the other’s point of view and incorporating it into their own understanding of the world.

I’m also thinking this dark vs light stuff is going to come into play in a big way when Guts and Griffith confront each other, and I imagine that their relationship is actually going to get the final say in all this. Hate or love, hostility or hope, illusion or reality, the dead or the living, wickedness or sacredness. Does this not to a tee describe them post Eclipse vs pre Eclipse?

Maybe if the Age of Darkness is still to come afterwards, they’ll end up plunging the world back to its original status quo when they conflict and kill each other or whatever, and take Falconia/the world tree/whatever down with them. Maybe NGriff’s unfrozen heart will come into play as the final piece of the thematic puzzle if the Hawk of Light represents the light of humanity, which ofc includes love. Maybe all it will take to conclude the themes in a satisfying way is a moment of understanding of that “true light” between them, discovered in darkness, while they fight.

Like you’ll pry my reading of Berserk’s themes as consistently and thoroughly existing to symbolize Griffith and Guts’ relationship out of my cold dead hands lol.

Fuck sorry this got so long and meandering. What did I say about trying to keep my thoughts organized lol?

Anyway tl;dr I don’t know shit and I don’t think the world of Berserk actually makes much sense, but let me throw out some theories and interpretations of possible contradictions and weird ass world building lol. And I mean, Miura is pretty consistent in interviews about saying Berserk isn’t about plain old good vs evil, so it wouldn’t surprise me at all to get something more complex and interesting than “Griffith is the evil Hawk of Darkness tricking humanity into seeing him as the Hawk of Light, and Guts is going to save the world from him.”

OH SHIT AND I ALMOST FORGOT: I have no idea where Schierke calls Griffith “false,” so you’ll have to point that part out to me, unless it’s just a difference in translations or something. Sorry I can’t address that part, hopefully you’ll at least scroll to the end and see this even if it’s super tl;dr lol.

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

OB Rewatch: To Right the Wrongs of Many

I’m not crying, you’re crying

You can read my first watch review, which hits a number of points I left out,  here: https://lobsters-on-their-heads.tumblr.com/post/164138983111/to-right-the-wrongs-of-many

I loved

Sarah’s flashback scenes flow with the storyline, and inform Sarah’s current character. We learn more about her, and get answers to a question that hadn’t occurred to me to ask - why did she decide to keep Kira? 

Siobhan! Being the loving nurturing mother we’ve seen her be for five seasons. Quite different than the woman we meet in episode 2, who was DONE with Sarah’s bullshit.

Sarah rummaging around the basement boiler room, fussing over Helena to get her the things she can, keeping her head cool and her voice reassuring.

Art: “Are you alright?”

Helena: “Most excellent.”

And the back and forth between Sarah and Helena bearing their children, with Sarah repeating the lines Siobhan gave her... I... *sniffles* ....

The shot of the twins

Art and Sarah delivering Helena’s babies. They were, after all, the first two members of Clone Club that she interacted with. Sarah was absolutely the best person to do it.

Helena’s stick figure mobiles

Cosima and Scott helping Sarah practice for her GED. Hell, Sarah practicing for her GED! Which she will eventually take, I know she will.

Siobhan’s portrait. It’s her, a cup of tea, and her shotgun. Perfect.

Donnie is adorable with the babies. It’s a damn shame we didn’t see more of him being a father during the show (probably due to the availability or desire of the child actors). 

The parallel with Season 3′s opener

I loved the entire fucking baby shower. My favorite thing ever is whole Clone Club events like this. I also really hope that those judgey “friends” of Alison’s from Season 1 (you know, the living ones) saw all these random people streaming into her house, including a gay couple, a lesbian couple, awkward nerdy guys, a black guy with his daughter and a disabled girl, and a perma-drunk from the vague South. To say nothing of how those neighbors must feel about Helena.

Cosima taking Purple from Felix and immediately handing him to Delphine.

Love, love, LOVE Cosima’s dress. Which was surprisingly difficult to get a good screenshot of while she’s standing.

Finishing the show with the Sestras together. Okay, so the very final scenes didn’t have them together, but you know what I mean. This scene was wonderful. Yes, they are going off and living happily ever after, but pain remains. Pain that is perhaps related to their fights, but not always. No matter what, though, they always have each other. 

*cries again* 

Helena’s story about letting the babies eat sand! “Where does this sand come from? I don’t know, so I let them eat it.” We all know it comes from the bodies buried under her apartment.

I liked 

The camera circling around Sarah while Westboreland taunted her.

Sarah: “Ah, shut up!” and then she smashes his head with a oxygen tank.

Kira being supportive and understanding of her mom. I like it because Kira’s sweet, but I don’t love it - Kira’s a kid, and she shouldn’t have to worry about her mom.

Helena offering Kira a jam burger and Kira backing up quickly. I hope that was improvised. 

The contrast between the sunny family time of the baby shower and Sarah’s darker solitude as she approaches and enters the house.

The parade of people asking Sarah “How was the test?” I like it for the comedic aspect, but also because every single person there supports and roots for Sarah exactly where she is. None of them show any judgment that she’s taking her GED test instead of, say, her GRE.

I’m as lesbian as they come, but I do melt when I see tough guys holding babies like this.

Sarah’s face as Helena starts sharing her book.

I didn’t like

The placement of Delphine’s condolences to Sarah about Siobhan. It’s been months, and Delphine has almost certainly seen Sarah before now. It’s a nice moment, but it’s out of place. It’s also one of the few times we’ve ever seen Delphine and Sarah alone together, and I believe the only time it’s happened since the first episode of Season 3. Delphine’s sentiments regarding Siobhan are spot on, but it’s odd to hear her emoting like this to Sarah. Even in the rewatch, I was just as uncomfortable as Sarah was.

That Rachel couldn’t come in. Obviously she wanted to, despite her claims to the contrary, and she needs the redemption that the sestras give each other. 

Other notes

I see now that it wasn’t the tray table Helena smashed Coady’s face into, but the stirrup / footrest at the end of the bed.

Westboreland drones on about “I made you” yadda yadda, but he did pretty much jack shit in the creation of the clones except maybe finance and protect. The Duncans did the work.

Pretty sure that’s Sarah’s first kill.

Somewhere in the second half of my first watch of Season 5, I had this fic idea of Donnie and Helena going to the island to rescue Cosima and Charlotte (and Delphine). In that fic, Delphine delivers Helena babies, which is kind of what everyone on Tumblr wanted. Anyway, having Sarah do it here was actually a much better idea.

There was definitely infodump with Alison talking to Donnie about his new job, but I’ll kind of allow it since it involved pouring concrete floors, and... well. That is something he knows about, isn’t it?

As cool as this board is for the show, I’m not sure why it’s set up this way for them. They could store the info in a spreadsheet (Delphine already has it in the computer). The pictures are fun, but don’t serve much purpose for their research. Like, they already know they’re all played by Tatiana Maslany, so they’re not trying to figure that mystery out. But maybe Cosima just likes to look at them?

The birthday card Sarah finds is tucked into the same book that Cosima read to Kira at the end of Season 2. Was the card in there then, or was it tucked in later by Siobhan or someone else?

And I’m totally with with Felix on being upset about the boxes and the for-sale sign. Even if he’s not living there, a lot of the stuff was probably his once, just as much as hers. He deserves to have a piece of his mother to hang on to without Sarah throwing it away (which she totally would).

Évelyne’s probably doing an awful lot of this these days

According to IMDB, Lauren Hammersley is 5′9″. See, this is why Tat always looks so short. She’s surrounded by really tall people.

Sarah had nothing to be sorry about when she snapped at Alison, who was pushing way too hard at completely the wrong moment. 

Most of the Lyft and Uber drivers I’ve had would not have sat silently in the front seat like Yusef did. Rachel probably scared him into submission.

With a number like 274, I think it’s safe to assume that there were originally 300 Ledas, and 26 were either killed by Helena, by clone disease, or by something else. 

Of course Évelyne speaks Spanish. Two dialects of French, English, and German weren’t enough. 

Interesting that the babies are Arthur and Donnie, rather than Arthur and Donald or Art and Donnie. I wonder if a certain US president influenced that decision.

I have questions

Why does Coady follow this asshole, again? Why does she do things that she, herself hates, like killing Mark? What does she get out of it that she couldn’t achieve on her own or with a different crackpot? What is left for her here? What’s in it for that other doctor, too? 

(really disturbing note - had the abortion gone through, would Kira’s magical healing abilities have, uh... ? you know what, let’s not explore that too much)

Why does Sarah struggle so much with school? She’s obviously intelligent and able to focus on and achieve goals when she wants to, but academics seem to elude her. It seems logical to me that her attitude problems and academic struggles would be related. Then there’s her anxiety (called fear, but really) and terrible self-esteem, and everything spirals, but it didn’t always.

A few episodes ago, Scott or Cosima said they had 144 doses of the inoculate ready to go. In this episode, Scott’s worried about expanding the cell line any further. Does that mean they’ve used 144 doses? I doubt it. Does it mean they’re just making shit tons of it? I don’t know how any of this works.

Where is Felix living now, by the way?

Is this realistic for a glass eye?

I would’ve liked to have seen

What happened to Enger, and Art seeing it happen. More than that, though...

I think this ep could have been a solid two hours if they’d committed to it. The extra hour could include

Sarah, Helena, Art, and the twins getting out of Dyad, accounting for the dead bodies scattered around in there, and wrapping up what’s left of Neolution 

Delphine’s return from “France” and finally starting a real relationship with Cosima. I want to see them getting ice cream together.

Also Delphine taking rocks away from the babies

Helena moving into the garage

What’s the plan for Charlotte?

How Felix and Colin became a couple

and still leave us wanting more. Plus, that Delphine / Sarah scene could have found a better spot.

[onceuponamirror]

riverdale 201 meta

no one asked me but i’ve got Thoughts so i’m making the post anyway, because it’s been a long time since i’ve done a chunky meta and this is what i’m really here for, SO

all the world’s a stage

first of all, acting was fairly strong all around, strong chemistry, and bughead was particularly excellent in terms of continuing their pattern of healthy communication, even when that leads to uncomfortable truths.

diving into it, i could see the effect of the step they took in their relationship and the change that admitting love had, particularly on jug, all grins and teasing and breathing some much needed light of love into the character

[x]

not just because it was such a spot of happiness amongst the heaviness of jug’s earlier arcs and this episode’s drama

but also because the bigger they are the harder they fall---

it made the hammer heavy when he realized his seemingly simple request for information was taken as a direct order essentially from his father, and the intense ramifications of such.

he admitted to betty that he was drawn to the motorcycle, the jacket, to stay closer to his father, a person he still idolizes despite having such a thick sense of disenfranchisement about him that he lived in a drive in for who knows how many months---and the gang delivering the “proof” of completing a job, and more so, realizing that his father would want to see that the job was done, sets the stage.

the civil war isn’t just a story of class warfare and suburban disillusionment. it isn’t just about bughead’s romeo and juliet™ storyline. it’s jughead. 

jughead is the civil war, all happening within himself. 

he’s still just a young boy craving a hero, and his father falling on his sword at the end of the first season earned him a lot of respect in his son’s eyes---his father’s biker iconography suddenly became a symbol of the under trod, proletariat revolutionary a jaded kid like jughead would be desperate for. 

and the americana open road biker imagery has been heavily rose-colored over the years, particularly in pop culture, and i think that’s what jughead bought into---the idea of rebels, not the gang behind it. 

and here he realizes that it’s not just symbolism. it’s not a game.

[x]

i mean, jughead was playing amateur p.i. all episode, clearly relishing in the role---and so when he came home to a bloodied message, it was def a successful emphasis of the fact that he was almost treating it like a game, which did establish him as a capable detective once more, but also highlighted how naive he can be. 

in an episode that was really all about fathers, an absentee FP managed to not just have a presence---but an impact.

it was an especially interesting parallel between the other fathers---fred was also heavily exploring symbolism within his fever death dream scape, witnessing passages of time, whereas hiram was introduced almost as the opposite anvil to FP, his entire presence ominously manifesting in a bottle of cristal. 

his absence was conspicuous, where FP’s was not initially, and by the end of the episode, their identities as major players within a larger scheme put them on opposite ends of the same road. 

and unlike jughead, who realized throughout the course of the episode that this wasn’t a game, that there are rules and they’re being applied to himself---veronica is hyperaware of this game, hyperaware of the manipulations at play, and is certainly adept at it.

but like jughead, she doesn’t seem to really have the scope of it yet. 

veronica is a character who only shows her age around the adults with whom she’s always had intense power imbalances. in a world of elite new york society and manipulative, abusive parents, she was forced to appear grown up, so much so that she tricked herself. 

[x]

through the poking and proding of her mother, leveraging timed accusations, and brattily doing the things she knows she’s not supposed to, veronica reveals herself as probably the most immature character on the show---but that’s a good thing, hear me out.

because she’s also the character who appeared the most put together. the most honest with herself, the most willing to look within and self-analyze. in the first season, she seemed unflappable, but it was also---well, there was no real tension in her character beyond a building fear that her parents were not who she thought they were. 

i thought veronica could’ve been more compelling than what we got in season one, so this opening with setting the stage of her as a child playing a game she doesn’t understand the stakes of sets her up for really excellent character growth and development---

and some fun structural parallels between jughead too, which will hopefully galvanize the layers of classism to be explored throughout the season. 

veronica and her father vs jughead and his, in the ways they navigate the societal games that feel so disparate from one another but will ultimately, i’m sure, meet in the mobs v. gangs mouth of cultural ouroboros. 

so i’m excited!! ok, now moving on to betty.

[x]

the acting was also very strong here. i think i read lili describe this season as “tortured” for her character, and that already came across. she too had the afterglow of i love you, but obviously haunted by what happened after that; her anxiety about the serpents was felt and perfectly sold.

but her ability to understand that from jughead’s perspective while maintaining her skepticism (rightly so, considering) showed maturity while also set the stage for the upcoming tension.

i wish i had more to talk about with her in this ep, but i think i will again soon.

also, that chemistry!!! again!!!

[x]

anyway.

cheryl was also crazy good tonight; she gave me chills!! madelaine petsch’s greatest skill is her intonation---she has an ability to keep a blank face that puts her entire delivery into her voice. 

she did this last season too, when speaking to her parents (and particularly her father), where she’d keep a doll-like composure that was manipulated by tone, and she did it again, with that soft voice and eyes that manage to be dull and blank and calculating and winking all at once. 

i don’t know how she does it but i’m friggin impressed!!!

[x]

however, the weight of this episode rode on archie overall, and there were some things i felt fall a little flat.

i know what they were going for was a slow build of impact, as they did with jughead, realizing the depth of what was going on, but the the whole first third of the episode just was slow and, at times, felt a bit insensitive to the topic of a man being shot.

(minus the scene where they all get the call---particularly sold by the perfect 80s synth-noir music of the chromatics [x])

when archie (and veronica too) did finally break down (though for him it was again) i think it was a strong moment, and very well acted---KJ does terror and latent anguish very well, two spectrum ends of the same emotion that is hard to balance. he was shaky with the gunman, and then when he really gave in to the trauma of that, it was well done. 

and right before he did give in was, i think, the best part of his performance. it’s easy to sell crying. it’s not easy to sell all the emotions that you cling to in order to keep yourself from doing that.

[x]

but. i wish there was a different tone set between the time he left the hospital and when it all hit him again. this is an issue with the episode direction, though.

still, a good episode for him, it was nice that archie had more to do than be the chess board plot plays out on top of, and moreover i think it really established the tone of the next arc, and the obsessive vigilance that’s taking over him.

so as a whole, a good development/establishment episode for these 5 main characters. 

lights, camera---

into the overall, the cinematography was excellent!!

[x]

however, i think this was an episode that particularly highlighted the difference between cinematography and direction---as in, the former was strong, the latter felt off. 

perhaps it’s the chronic effect of heavy promotion and hype, but i honestly felt like the episode was confusingly paced in terms of it’s timeline, and surprisingly goofy with the special effects (shaky zoom? really?).

and as i said above with archie’s point, the structure of the episode was rough and just wasn’t the best directed episode of television i’ve seen. i think there needed to be a lot more momentum coming out of the gate.

however, again, the cinematography, and the framing within those shots, was very strong. there was one shot that was just the word “hospital” but the H was a parking sign number and it was so simple but i am obsessed with it.

[x]

extra thoughts

hopefully the show actually consciously tackle the topic of abuse beyond the bare bones of an origin story (cheryl, calling it as it is), especially of it’s many forms that it’s already portrayed and frankly fumbled (i.e. grundy, even in the curtain of the premiere), but also with the upcoming lodge arc.

i mean, many of us were calling for grundy’s death, and i wasn’t one of those people because i wanted her to fucking go on TRIAL for her aggressive sexual predation of young boys and have an actual dialogue about male rape, so my main concern with her back for a ~twist that ended in her murder is that we’ll never get to have that conversation? and the impact that her abusive behavior had on archie, too? i mean???? ugh 

and i don’t really have much to say about cheryl and veronica’s abusive relationships with their parents as of now, because it’s late and i’m tired and i think i just wrote like 5k words, but just that i want them to handle this right, and i’m nervous but trying to be optimistic that with a longer season and more time, heavy topics will be handled with sensitivity and the respect they require. 

so cheers to a new season, i think this episode set the stage for a lot of meaty character growth, neon delirium aesthetics, and a plot that explores classism and family under a microscope. 

yay!

also---who else thinks the “green-eyed shooter” was chic cooper? i mean, come on

[jordan202]

The Journey - Part Twelve

Previous chapters are HERE .

Timeline for Part 12:

This one sets throughout the events of 11x15 and 11x16. I imagine that the make out session in the on call room at the end of 11x15 connects with the opening scene for Omelia on 11x16, so I made the two episodes as a very long day. Amelia and Owen are much more friendly toward each other (obviously lol) and slowly, their relationship is blooming. 11x15 is the episode with Ruby’s case (the girl who Owen guides through the phone to perform surgical procedures on her mom when they’re trapped in a cabin) and 11x16 is all Omelia fluff. Let’s get to it!

warning: this chapter is longer than the average (like that was possible, but yeah, it is :S) 

The Journey – Part Twelve

 Amelia opened the curtains of her bedroom, allowing the sun to shine in through the glass windows. It felt amazing to finally be able to wake up and not be in a rush. Now that she didn’t have a draining surgical procedure to worry about, she could finally take her time getting out of the house in the morning and that included even getting some extra snooze minutes in bed after the alarm rang.

As it often happened when her sister in law spent the night at the hospital, Amelia would wake up the kids, prepare their breakfast and then take them to daycare before starting her day at work. After putting on her clothes, she stopped by the window one last time to admire the weather outside. The skies were unusually clear for that time of the year and Amelia smiled to herself, drawing parallels between the atmosphere and the moment she was living. Everything felt fresh and incredibly full of exciting new possibilities.

Her mind was deeply lost in thought when the responsible for her daydreaming left his trailer, walking towards his car. As if sensing she was invoking him in her thoughts, Owen turned his head up in the direction of her window. When their eyes met, Amelia felt a tingling sensation in her stomach at the same time her smile broadened after being immediately reciprocated.

She noticed his gaze lingered for a while longer than usual, which could only mean he also was enjoying that unexpected, silent exchange of looks. Too soon for her taste, Owen slightly tilted his head and intensified his gaze before finally getting inside his truck.

Amelia was still awed by how much the guy could communicate without saying a word. She considered herself to be an empathetic person, but for some reason, with Owen it felt especially easier to pick up the truths he spoke with his eyes, touches and expressions. The way the energy would flow between them felt organic and natural, almost effortless. Unlike other people, Owen would let her know a lot without the need to speak a single word.

Considering all of that, it was hard not to feel like the connection they had was one of a kind. Amelia hadn’t met anyone else in her life that made her feel the same things he did and the idea was at the same time very exciting and very alarming. If there was one thing Amelia was familiar with, it was loss. But she was determinate not to let her past shape her future in a negative way. So it was with lighthearted contentment that the neurosurgeon went to work that day, looking forward to the many prospects the near future could bring.

.

After her daily rounds, Amelia went downstairs to answer her ER consults. Even though she secretly had hoped to spend some time with her boss, the case they had that day turned out to be more intense than she could initially predict.

Throughout the morning and afternoon, she had the chance to watch closely the way Owen got personally involved in a very challenging crisis. After an earthquake hit, her boss had answered the call of an eleven year old girl who’d been trapped in a cabin with her injured mother. After finding out about it, Amelia hadn’t left his side. Not only the case touched her too and the neurosurgeon felt compelled to help as much as she could, the fact Owen looked so moved also made Amelia long for a good outcome.

After the child’s cell phone battery died, she watched as Owen entered a state of complete anxiety. Amelia stood next to him, watching as he breathed in and out trying to control himself, often repeating that the girl would call again. She hoped with all her heart that his predictions came true.

Seeing him in such distress deeply touched her. This was an unknown side of Owen, a much softer and more vulnerable layer to his personality that Amelia hadn’t exactly been allowed to see yet. Her boss was always in control of things and himself, his authoritative figure overshadowing everyone else’s. Amelia had noticed before how Owen was particularly sweet around her, much more than he was with anyone else. But to see him handling so well an aggravating situation with a scared child made Amelia admire the guy even more.

Over the past months, it had become clear to her that Owen liked kids. She often wondered how a guy like him had made it this far in life without having any. Amelia knew he’d been married before but she didn’t know the details of why his marriage had ended. She had however, while helping out with her niece and nephew, heard her sister in law commenting more than once how good it was to have some help around the house. During those times, Meredith had even added that even though Cristina was often around, she wasn’t exactly a child friendly person. Amelia had met the thoracic surgeon her boss had been married to once and briefly spent some time in the woman’s presence before she’d moved out of the country. After getting to know Owen a little better, it became increasingly harder to understand how a guy with values like his could have had a relationship with a woman like Cristina Yang, who obviously didn’t vibrate in the same frequency.

In a fraction of a second, an epiphany hit and Amelia wondered if their likely divergence of opinions regarding that matter had led the couple to end a childless marriage. The neurosurgeon knew that for a lot of people, not having kids was a valid option but after months getting to know Owen and seeing how protective, family oriented and loyal he was, she just couldn’t associate him with the image of a guy who would be okay with not being a dad. He had always struck her as a man of traditional values and she wondered if the former couple had ever disagreed on the matter of conceiving a baby.

Suddenly feeling an addition of sympathy for her boss, Amelia fought the urge to go to him and ask what she could do to help about the case they had on. There was so much about Owen she still didn’t know, but little by little, as she slowly uncovered more about the man, Amelia had to admit it became too difficult not to admire and like him even more. He wasn’t exactly the talkative type, but Owen excelled at unconsciously showing his layers through his actions. His silence added to the way he was so invested in helping out the kid who’d called them asking for help was a perfect example of that.

Unable to control herself any longer, Amelia reached out and touched his shoulder, unconsciously longing to ease his distress and show him he had her support. Owen had been there for her so many times before that she felt compelled to reciprocate his kindness and decency as much as she could. The chief of surgery gently turned his head and looked up to meet her eyes, nodding in gratitude for her presence. Amelia was just thinking of what to say when the telephone rang, finally ending the excruciating long wait.

.

Amelia’s fingers worked skillfully, as she maintained the steadiness of her touch on a woman’s brain. Even though every patient was important to the neurosurgeon, regardless of their story, this time around Amelia wanted very much to fix that subdural hematoma and make sure the likelihood of deficits were reduced to a minimum. Somewhere outside the OR, a little girl anxiously waited for her mother to be operated on. And beside her, a man who often occupied Amelia’s thoughts waited just as impatiently.

Not long before, Owen had burst into her OR and asked how the patient was doing. Amelia had quickly dismissed him, knowing that in order to do her best, she needed to remain fully focused on the procedure. The patient’s injury had thrown a clot right around the same time her boss had unknowingly added more pressure to her shoulders but thankfully for everyone involved, Ruby’s mother made out of surgery well and with a good prognosis.

It filled Amelia’s heart with joy to give the little girl the good news, and she noticed on Owen’s facial expression that he shared the feeling. Together, a while later they stood outside the ICU bed, watching as mother and daughter saw each other for the first time after the accident.

When they made eye contact, Amelia smiled noticing how Owen nearly instantly looked down. He seemed somewhat adorably embarrassed and she wondered if that had to do with the fact that, for the first time, she had seen him exposing his feelings so openly.

“Thank you for today,” His deep voice resonated. As he came around the corner and stopped walking, Amelia followed the lead, stopping to face him.

“You’re welcome,” She smiled back, putting her hands in her coat pockets, unsure of what to do next. That entire miraculous adventure with the kid who had saved her mother in a cabin with medical instructions from a dedicated surgeon seemed too surreal, almost made out of a movie, even though they had just lived it. And the ending had been positive enough to inspire fairy tales feelings in Amelia.

Too contaminated with that vibrating energy and the lightness of spirit Owen instilled in her, the neurosurgeon approached him, suggestively opening her arms. The movement wasn’t at all planned; instead it was born from an urge Amelia felt to share with him the same state of bliss she was in. Together, they had turned an awful situation into a miracle save and there wasn’t anyone Amelia would rather have done that with.

Without hesitation, Owen embarked in her offer. Amelia felt one of his arms wrapping around her waist with ease, as his other hand rubbed her back with affectionate care. She’d meant to briefly embrace his neck in a chaste hug, but before she could realize what she was doing, Amelia slid her hand on the length of his shoulder all the way down to his arm, feeling his powerful strength beneath her open palm.

The neurosurgeon had more than once wondered if Owen was as solid as he looked. Despite the fact they’d kissed once, there had been a considerable distance between their bodies at that moment. Now, for the first time, Amelia felt the amazing warmth of his solid structure as she found out how intoxicatingly sweet his masculinity could be.

And then it became too hard to let go.

Owen noticed how Amelia hesitated, unwilling to break their embrace. Friendly hugs didn’t usually last that long. It was only when the thought occurred to him that Owen realized he also hadn’t let go.

Throughout the entire day, he’d noticed the way Amelia had loyally stood by his side, stepping up to help with a difficult situation without the need of him asking her to. After operating on Ruby’s mother, the neurosurgeon seemed genuinely happy to see the woman and the girl reunited. Her behavior had deeply touched Owen and now, standing this close to her, able to breathe in the amazing scent of her hair, he felt an exponential desire to hold her closer and never let go.

Owen was aware of the exact moment when, after he touched her brown locks, Amelia relaxed and melted in his embrace. Her arms surrounded his shoulder as she exhaled heavily. He tightened the grip around her waist, pulling her nearer. It never failed to delight Owen how adorably small she was. With one arm, he could easily bring her forward against his chest, allowing his free hand to gently caress the loose hair on her back.

It was amazing to finally be able to touch her like that. Owen felt like he’d been anticipating that moment for longer than he could remember. Ever since their first kiss, he’d been craving for more. The memory of touching her was already incredible enough, but the reality of having her in his arms didn’t compare to anything else he’d ever experienced.

With a conformed sigh, Owen realized the intensity of the moment they were sharing. Even though they stood on a hallway, in what looked like an innocent hug, he knew there was way more to it than just a platonic exchange of sentiments. Unwilling to let her go, Owen slid his free hand around her waist, keeping her close to his body as he slowly allowed Amelia to pull apart just enough so she could face him.

“Come with me,” He took her hand, belatedly realizing they needed more privacy for what he intended to do.

Amelia barely had time to process what he was doing when she found herself being taken from the hall. Unsurprisingly, Owen hadn’t exactly asked, but she didn’t mind it one bit. The neurosurgeon followed him through the familiar surroundings of the hospital, feeling his large hand fully covering hers as he led the way for them. Only when Owen opened the door to an on call room and made room for her to enter before him, Amelia realized what was happening.

Her boss closed the door after them and swiftly locked it. Amelia was standing in the middle of the room and he went to her, unceremoniously splaying his hands on the sides of her waist, pulling her nearer with such ease that it amused her.

Amelia was desperately attracted to him and she also couldn’t wait for the kiss they’d been postponing for far too long. But what really swept her off her feet was the way Owen touched his forehead to hers, intensely staring into her eyes as a relaxed smirk formed on his lips.

“Hi,” His whisper was slow and seductive, breaking Amelia’s defenses completely.

That very simple word had a deep meaning and Amelia understood it. That was the first time the two of them were alone together on purpose. Before, when they’d shared physical moments, never had it been planned. Instead, the situations unfolded on the spur of the moment.

Now, however, Amelia was as well aware as Owen of what was going to unfold and the anticipation was too delightful to skip it. She smiled back at him when his hands traveled from her waist to the curve of her neck, gently brushing the side of her face on an affectionate caress.

Owen was thinking of how smooth her skin was and how feminine her gracious figure looked when she took a step forward, bringing her face up to deliberately kiss him. Owen was surprised by her swift move, but at the same time utterly pleased. Soon enough, her gentle touch enticed him. Unable to hold his desire, Owen’s hungry mouth parted her lips, deepening their kiss.

He was amused to notice she was as into it as he was. Amelia grabbed him fiercely with her tiny hands, running them up and down his arms, unknowingly charging Owen even more. His gentle touch on her face became a rough grab around her waist, beneath her white coat. Amelia felt him pulling her body to mold to his and she responded with a fierce push on his chest, forcing Owen against the door so she could kiss him back with the same hunger he seemed to be exploring her lips.

The trauma surgeon felt his back being mercilessly crashed against the wall, as the door handle violently collided against his spine. It amused him to realize that Amelia was having a hard time controlling her desire too. He could feel her hands all over his shoulders, arms and chest, exploring and touching as she struggled to seize control of his lips. Owen did his best not to lose control completely. She was so small and yet so feisty that the neurosurgeon had actually managed to trap him inside her web of desire, grinding him against the door under her touch.

The realization pleased Owen more than he could process and before he processed what he was doing, he pulled apart, holding her face in his arms while struggling to catch his breath. Her pupils were dilated and her breathing was just as heavy, informing Owen he wasn’t the only one who’d been assaulted by a wave of hot, strong desire. Pulling apart just enough to look into her eyes, the chief of surgery silently asked the question, noticing how Amelia discreetly nodded her head in consent.

Determinate to put an end to that delightful agony, Owen swiftly wrapped his arms around her waist, easily lifting her from the ground to then carry her to the closest bed.

Amelia’s plans to take thing slowly and allow them to explore that sensual energy with careful control went down the drain the moment he placed her on the bed and covered her body with his. It wasn’t the first time she realized the incredible capacity Owen had to be, at the same time, sweetly intense and roughly tender. As his hand gently caressed her hair, his mouth took hers in a kiss that numbed Amelia’s senses.

As they lay in a messy tangle of arms and legs, she could feel the weight of his body on hers, delighted to be imprisoned beneath him. Owen’s hands slid up and down her sides, exploring the curves of her hips and waist. He realized it was getting way too hard to fight the urge to pull her scrub tops up and explore the warmth of her soft skin with his lips.

Owen wanted very much for that to happen, but he hadn’t exactly planned for it to happen there. The trauma surgeon was just thinking of a way to gather the strength to pull apart when his phone buzzed, interrupting his thoughts completely.

“Pager…” He nearly whispered, trying to control his breath.

“Nooo…”

Owen heard her moaning in response and it physically hurt him to lift his head from her neck. Chuckling at her obvious desire to prolong that amazing contact they were having, Owen kissed her once more. “I know… hey,” He pulled apart to a considerable distance this time, determinate to get up, interrupt what they were doing while he still could and go answer the call.

But as Owen stopped to look into her eyes and explain why they needed to stop, his eyes caught sight of her face and suddenly, every rational thought slipped his mind. All he could focus on were Amelia’s gorgeous blue eyes shinning with desire and longing. Her leg clenched his, tightening its grip around his thigh, making it very clear she didn’t wish him to go. And the way her eyes traveled from his gaze to his lips made Owen lose control completely.

He immediately drowned himself in her again, exploring every corner of Amelia’s mouth with explosive intensity.

The pager continued to buzz, leading Owen to think that the only possible explanation for the annoying interruption was that everything was conspiring to make sure they didn’t go any further. Rationally, Owen knew Amelia deserved better than that. He wanted to do things the traditional, proper way with her and having sex for the first time in an on call room wasn’t exactly the most romantic idea.

Gathering in those thoughts the strength to pull apart, Owen smiled when he noticed the look of frustration on her face.

“Sorry… We will continue this later,” He informed her, referring to way he intended to kiss her.

Owen’s last image was the irritation on Amelia’s face as he responded to the work call and unwillingly left her.

“We better!” The neurosurgeon replied, throwing her back on the bed to regain control of her messy emotions.

.

Throughout the rest of the day, Amelia kept busy working on ER cases. Despite her wish, she didn’t see much of her boss. The neurosurgeon knew he was also busy with his own patients, which was why a smile brightened her entire face when she was checking a patient file on a tablet and felt his vibrating presence right behind her back, too close to her body.

“Are you done here?” Owen’s deep voice whispered so close to her ear that Amelia felt a shiver run down her spine.

“Nearly,” She replied in the same tone, trying to be discreet.

“You know where I’ll be.”

Owen punctuated his sentence with a brief but bold squeeze on the left side of her hip. It was too discreet for anyone else to notice, but Amelia felt the intimacy of the touch and all her senses were once again brought to life in anticipation for being alone with him.

Finishing typing the data she had to enter on the chart as fast as she could, the neurosurgeon put the tablet back on the counter at the nurses’ station and rushed to the on call room where Owen had left her earlier that day.

“Hi,” Amelia sheepishly said, closing the door after her.

“Hey,” Owen replied with a genuine, happy smile. He had spent the past five minutes anxiously waiting, wondering if she’d really come. Despite all signs pointing to Amelia reciprocating his feelings, she was so unpredictable that when it came to the fiery neurosurgeon, Owen was never sure.

Amelia noticed he was sitting on the bed, obviously waiting for her. The realization made her heart ache with longing. Was it possible to already miss him this much already? Shrugging the idea away from her mind, Amelia tried to focus on what was concrete.

Owen slowly got up, keeping a smile on his face. Even though he’d already decided that having sex in that impersonal room wasn’t the best choice for their first time, it didn’t mean he desire to kiss her or be in her presence any less.

“So…” Amelia started, looking intensely into his eyes with an adorable smile lurking on her lips. “It’s later now.”

“Yeah,” Owen approached her, watching as she did the same and met him halfway.

The significance of that simple gesture touched Owen deeply. In all his previous relationships, he’d felt like he was always the one making all the effort to make things work. He didn’t know this yet, but with Amelia, nothing would feel like work. Compromising and meeting half way would be a natural consequence of their dynamic as they spent a lifetime being considerate of each other’s feelings and respecting one another, even when they made mistakes.

Amelia saw the sweet way he was looking at her and she felt special. Owen’s eyes communicated so much and she was overwhelmed to see so much care and appreciation. The surgeon knew that even though they weren’t as erotically charged as they were earlier that day, both still wanted very much to be together. The only thing different was that now, instead of a blinding sexual desire, Owen’s eyes were overflowing with affection.

She stood in front of him, gently running her hands up his arms, enjoying the intimacy of his touch. It was exciting to explore that newly found level of familiarity. Amelia was discovering that sometimes, being intimate with someone wasn’t necessarily about sex. As she felt Owen’s hand exploring the curve of her waist and slowly going up, brushing on the side of her breast, she figured that even though the contact had sexual desire, it was actually loaded mostly with tender affection.

Feeling an overwhelming sensation of bliss, Amelia looked up, eager to be kissed by the only guy who’d ever made her feel so many different emotions. As usual, Owen didn’t disappoint, gently holding her face to bring her lips closer to his touch. Her hands held the sides of his body, traveling up to his elbows around the same time both their phones started to buzz again.

“Oh my God…”

“You gotta be kidding me…”

Owen realized they’d both talked at the same time when they pulled apart and each checked their phone, once again obviously discontent with their predicament.

“Well?” He asked, too upset at yet another interruption.

“Yeah.” Amelia confirmed that she also had to go. It was clear she wasn’t the least bit happy about it.

“Yeah.” He sighed heavily, trying to recover his thinking state of mind. Reaching out, Owen grabbed his white coat after he chivalrously opened the door, making room for her to exit first.

.

The trauma surgeon was too irritated with the multiple interruptions, reason why he wasn’t exactly courteous with the ER staff after arriving there.

“Someone paged me about a patient?”

One of the nurses noticed the tone of distress in the chief of surgery’s voice and replied with a scowl.

“There is a man on exam room three insisting that you told him to come today at this hour for a follow up.”

“What?” Owen frowned, picking up the file. It was nearly eleven in the evening, he would never have a patient come back at that hour. But when he read the name on the tablet, he instantly remembered what that was all about. Looking back at the nurse with an apologetic nod, he explained. “I’ll handle it. Thank you.”

The chief of surgery walked through the emergency room, noticing how everything was running smoothly within the department.

“Hey, Mr. Pratt,” Owen greeted the patient when he walked in the designated exam room, closing the door after himself. He looked up to see a strongly built man in his late sixties. The guy was wearing a neatly cut suit, a very expensive wristwatch and his beard was flawlessly shaved, even though they were at the late hours of the day.

“Dr. Hunt, it’s good to see you.” The man replied with a firm handshake.

“How are you feeling?” Owen asked with interest. “Everything good?”

“The problem was solved.” The man replied with sincerity, going straight to the matter.

Owen had met Oliver Pratt a few months before, right after Amelia Shepherd had performed an unorthodox neurosurgical procedure on the guy’s two year old granddaughter and cured her from a massive brain tumor. Mr. Pratt had been so grateful for the leap of faith the young head of neurosurgery had taken that he’d come back and donated an insane amount of money and resources to her department.

During that visit, Owen had found out the guy was one of the most powerful executives in the chain of command of General Electric, a huge multinational conglomerate corporation of technology. When Mr. Pratt had returned a second time looking for the chief of surgery at the hospital, Owen had supposed the guy was in fact looking for the neurosurgeon who had operated on his granddaughter, but found out that the man was in fact seeking for a consult for himself.

After a quick exchange of words, Owen had discovered why the guy had looked for him at an unusual hour, claiming he wanted discretion. His physical exam confirmed Owen’s initial diagnosis and after a quick check up and a few exams, Owen booked an OR late at night and operated on the patient, fulfilling his wish to have the procedure done with as much privacy as possible.

The trauma surgeon had asked the senior guy to come back for a check up that night. Owen had been so caught up with the cases that day and the inebriating presence of Amelia Shepherd still lingering in his every thought that he’d completely obliterated the post op consult from his mind.

“Looks like you’re in perfect shape,” Owen attested with a professional grin after as he took off his gloves when they finished the physical exam. “Any remaining symptoms?”

“Absolutely none,” Mr. Pratt replied with gratitude, finishing buttoning his pants. He had liked the stern, confident chief of surgery from the first moment they’d met but after finding out that like him, Owen had also served in the army, and being able to count on his discretion to solve a very embarrassing medical problem, Oliver Pratt took an instant liking for the guy. “Dr. Hunt, are you busy this Thursday?”

Owen was just finishing up taking notes on a tablet when he looked up, trying to contain his alarm. Why exactly was the guy asking him if he had a free night when he’d just…?

“My wife’s country club is hosting a benefit auction on Thursday for a charity committee and there are some people there I’d like you to meet,” Oliver Pratt explained with cool practicality, vanishing every inappropriate idea that had briefly occurred in Owen’s mind.

“Oh,” The chief of surgery replied, trying to disguise his relief that the question didn’t have a personal connotation as he’d initially considered.

“For all that’s worth, you operated on my appendix and that’s how we met.” Pratt decided, making it very clear that Owen shouldn’t in any circumstances mention the cause of their second encounter. “I spoke great things about your hospital and the service you run to a couple of colleagues and they were very interested in looking at Grey Sloan for prospective business partnerships.” The businessman went on, slowly clarifying the reasons why he thought Owen would be interested in the event. “They also know about the way your head of neurosurgery saved my Bella. So, add to that the fact they’re truly impressed.” The man added with a tender smile as he mentioned his granddaughter. “How is Dr. Shepherd, by the way?” He asked with an undeniable smile of gratitude.

“She’s…Um,” Owen cleared his throat, feeling his face inevitably blush as he thought about Amelia. “She is doing very well.” He added with a smile. “Making very good use of the resources you provided, sir.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Pratt seemed genuinely pleased as he slowly went back to a more professional tone. “You see, this is exactly what I had in mind by inviting you over on Friday,” The senior took his wallet from his pocket and handed Owen a small business card. “Lots of investors will be there and I expect you to make a good impression on them.” He spoke proudly, almost as if knowing he was returning Owen a big favor. “You know… a lot of wealthy people, bored out of their minds, with a lot of charity money sitting around… Just waiting for the right cause to donate it to.” Pratt nearly winked, informing Owen of what was in for him if he did attend the dinner. “You’re welcome to bring company with you. The auction starts at ten.” Oliver Pratt grabbed his formal coat and put it over his suit. “I’ll meet you at the hotel bar for drinks at nine thirty.” He informed Owen with the propriety of a guy who was used to having business done his way.

Owen quickly tried to think of the appointments he had planned for that week, trying to remember his exact schedule to make sure he was free on said date.

“I’ll see you then, sir.” He nodded in agreement, quickly saving the card on his pocket as the man walked out of the exam room.

The idea of going to a fancy dinner party with Seattle’s richest businessmen didn’t excite Owen at all. He knew the evening would probably revolve around people not so subtly comparing their wealth with each other as they spent an insane amount of money on items that weren’t worth a quarter of their initial bid. That auction was going to be a dull excuse to show off the extent of their financial power and yet, they disguised it as a charity event to make it more politically correct.

Even though Owen hated that kind of environment, where nothing was what it seemed, he knew that for the hospital’s sake, he couldn’t skip it. Oliver Pratt had pretty much said that the chances of getting another round of generous donations to Grey Sloan were high and as chief, Owen often had to partake in boring events like those. He tried to cheer himself up by thinking of the improvements he could make in the residency program if they got a donation to be invested in education but then a thought struck his mind and suddenly, the idea of attending the boring dinner party became surprisingly exciting.

Owen drove home with that thought in mind and to his pleased surprise he saw Amelia arriving at the house at the same time he turned off the car engine. Quickly making his way to Derek and Meredith’s front porch, Owen was able to catch up with her before she entered the house.

“Jesus!” Not for the first time, Amelia took her hand to her chest, absolutely startled by the way he had sneakily approached her. “How can you move without making a single noise?” She asked grumpily. His shameless chuckle and apparent satisfaction to have scared her irritated the neurosurgeon even more, making Amelia impulsively hit his arm with a folded subscription magazine that had been lying on one of the wood tables.

Owen’s subsequent laughter and the way he completely disregarded her hit, almost as if Amelia had barely even tickled his shoulder added to her dissatisfaction.

“Don’t do that!” She complained, still angry at his sneaky manners.

“You scare too easily,” Owen provoked her, watching as her face transformed into a scowl of disapproval. Unable to contain a smile, he approached her, unceremoniously splaying his arms on the sides of her waist and pulling her closer, making her breasts collide against his chest. “Someone is not pleased.” He smiled, stating the obvious.

Amelia tried to keep her angry façade but as he gently brushed her cheek with his lips, initiating a trail of soft kisses down the outline of her jaw all the way to her neck, she couldn’t help cracking up.

“You’re tickling me!” She held a fit of laughter, hoping no one would hear them. It was past midnight and she knew Meredith and the kids were probably asleep, but didn’t want to take any chances. Whatever she and Owen had going on was too intense and too recent, and she wasn’t ready to share it with anybody but him just yet.

“I kind of have the feeling that the moment I kiss you, my phone will ring.” Owen joked, watching as she deliciously laughed.

“Well, then don’t,” Amelia provoked him, obviously not meaning what she’d just said.

Owen seemed to know it, because he ignored her words completely and bent over, pulling her into his arms as he slowly explored the outlines of her lips before parting them with his. Owen leaned back on the wood railing of the porch, drawing his long legs apart so that Amelia could stand in the middle, leveling their heights.

“I’m glad I caught up with you before you went to bed.” He started, determinate to tell her what he’d gone there to say.

“Yeah?” Amelia raised her eyebrows in question, obviously reaching the conclusion he’d meant to join her.

Owen picked up on it and laughed, amused at how transparent she was.

“I meant, because I wanted to ask you something,” He set it straight, watching as her face flushed in embarrassment, even though she kept shamelessly smiling at him. Owen took one hand to the side of her face and gently brushed a lock of hair from her cheek, placing it behind her ear. “I just got an invitation to attend a work event on Thursday.” He initiated the conversation, not exactly sure how he’d propose it. Owen very much wanted to take Amelia out and spend time alone with her, preferably on something that wasn’t work related. But knowing about her tight schedule and his, he didn’t envision it happening anytime sooner than the next Thursday. And Owen couldn’t wait much longer. “Would you like to come with me?” He smiled adorably at her, intensely staring into her eyes.

“What do you mean, work event?” Amelia grinned, knowing in his smile that he was up to something. “What kind of event?”

“A very boring, very pretentious dinner party.” Owen explained with lighthearted contentment. “Do you remember Oliver Pratt?” He asked, watching as Amelia nodded yes in response. “He is participating of this auction thing and wants me to come because he says there are possible investors there who might want to donate funds for hospital research and education.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Amelia splayed her hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them downwards to his chest. “You’re asking me to go on a very boring, very pretentious date?” She raised her eyebrows, looking undeniably amused.

“Well, I’m a romantic guy… I like to make a good first impression.” Owen replied with good mood, making her heartily laugh. He watched with delight the way she seemed so relaxed and happy. “So, what do you say?”

Amelia’s eyes searched for his and when they met, she smiled broadly, enchanting him with her dimples.

“Alright, I’ll go with you.” She decided, already excited with the idea.

“It’s settled, then.” Owen gently straightened his body up, casting a shadow on her face as he bent over to kiss her. “You go to bed, now.”

“Alone?” Amelia raised her eyebrows playfully, knowing she was tempting him.

“You better not have anyone up there waiting for you,” He chuckled in response, clearly marking his territory. At the same time it was too soon for them to take that step, he wanted Amelia all to himself and wouldn’t share her with anyone else.

The neurosurgeon smiled and unlocked the front door under his careful watch. When she was almost inside, Owen grabbed her wrist and swiftly pulled her back, making Amelia giggle at his inability to let her go.

“You forgot to say good night,” He said as an excuse to steal another kiss.

“Go home,” Amelia laughed out loud when he gently attacked her neck with kisses and bites. “Go, get out of here before your phone rings,” She playfully pushed him, having too much fun to pretend she was anything other than deeply amused.

“Don’t even say it,” He joked back, watching as she settled to leave again. Owen still tried to stop her, mischievously holding her by the waist, but as Amelia laughed trying to break free, he gently released her from his grip, chastely patting her bottom before she finally entered the house.

It was with reinvigorated energy that Owen went home that night. In a few hours, he’d have to go back to work, but nothing could spoil the good mood he was in. The woman who haunted his dreams had happily walked into his arms more than once that day, and the chief of surgery longed for the moment when he’d finally have her all to himself, without the chance of any interruptions.

Another great idea struck Owen’s mind and he couldn’t help reveling in the thought. On Thursday, they were going to the fanciest hotel in the city to attend a dinner party. It took place in a considerably far location from their workplace, at a late hour, in a hotel filled with vacant rooms where no one could ever find them.

Owen wanted very much to take Amelia out on a proper date and spend some quality time in her company before they finally had their much anticipated first time. She seemed to long for it as much as he did, and the thought filled his heart with joy. Considering the fact Amelia didn’t yet have a place of her own, and Owen’s trailer was far from being a romantic location, an obvious solution was one reservation away for Owen to give Amelia the perfect evening he thought she deserved.

If he didn’t do it, it wouldn’t take long before they got carried away with stolen kisses inside on call rooms, and even though sneaking out with her pleased Owen very much, having sex on hospital brown sheets behind a locked door like two teenagers was not at all what he envisioned for their first night together.

Smiling from ear to ear after considering all the facts, the chief of surgery made up his mind. The minute he woke up, Owen would call the hotel and book the best room they had available for the following Thursday evening, already anxiously counting the minutes for that night to finally come.  

 ----

next chapter: Omelia’s date :) 

[thatshinobilife]

I’m almost too lazy to make this post because God it’s just so self explanatory but my loyalty to Temari runs too deep so here goes: 

They did exactly what I called they were gonna do and made her an over aggressive nagging house wive. This is why I complained over and over again three years ago when I saw they had moved her to Konoha because I KNEW someway somehow they were going to subject her character to this. They want her to be Yoshino 2.0 even though that’s NEVER been who she is because “lmao get it Shikamaru is just like his dad! Parallels!!”. They don’t take the time to think about how her character would actually react because none of that matters now - she exists solely to be Shikamaru’s wife. 

Some people are crying “abuse!” at what she did but I don’t really want to go there tbh. It’s very clear that in the Naruto universe things we find abusive are just par for the course. Calling out Temari in this instance would require we call out basically ever other female character which is not realistic. Domestic violence in Naruto is always played for laughs which is obviously fucked up but not something I think it’s fair to fault the characters for as we’re not intended to see it as abusive (even though realistically it is). No, what I really take issue with is the fact that being an overbearing and strict mother/wife is basically all Temari is given to do. 

This woman was born in one of the most fucked up situations of any character we see. He father was a walking human disaster, her mother was dead, and her youngest brother had a nasty habit of slaughtering anyone who looked at him the wrong way. She has always been strong and confident but throughout the series she softens considerably as she learns caring is not a weakness. She is a better diplomat than either of her brothers and remains calm and collected in even the tensest of situations. Her dynamic with Shikamaru has always been one of mutual respect and understanding which is what makes their relationship work so well (and IMO better than any of the canon relationships we got). Yes, Temari is a take no shit kind of person who probably WOULD chastise her son for his pitiful behavior - but not in the way we’re shown. In Boruto her parenting method basically amounted to “I’m just going to hit you and intimidate you until you get the picture and ultimately just end up listening to your cooler nicer wiser dad.” She doesn’t actually say anything of significance to Shikadai at all - that is reserved entirely for Shikamaru as he’s the influential one in their sons life. Temari is just there to be the ol’ ball-and-chain ~what a drag~ mom whose only dominion is the house she is confined to. THEN there’s the fact that Temari refusing to make dinner inevitably meant neither Shikamaru nor Shikadai could eat - as if a grown man could not make his own dinner and HAD to have his wife do it because it’s her domestic ~duty~. This is extra and dramatic but it actually makes me sick that they’re doing this to her. After everything she went through she would have something worthwhile to add to the conversation other than “bah you’re too easy on him I’m going to withhold meals to prove a point!!!”. She doesn’t treat her brothers like this and they’re consistently shown to value her opinion because her opinion is worth hearing.  Temari played a crucial role in Suna politics prior to the end of the series. She sat on the council and came with Gaara to all the kage summits/meetings. She was one of the best kunoichi in the series just brimming with potential and strength and ferocity. During the war I began to get annoyed with how much they were making her revolve around Shikamaru’s character because after a certain point basically all her dialogue was in relation to him. That’s when I knew things were about to take a hard left turn for shits-ville and boy was I right. In chapter 700 ALL we see her doing is sitting in a house chastising her son and serving her brothers tea before they head out to a kage meeting without her. We don’t get any indication that she’s still affiliated with Suna, hell we don’t even get any indication that she’s still a ninja. In the boruto manga/movie she doesn’t interact with her siblings ONCE and is not with them in the pit with all the other Kage/advisors. I was happy to see she still had her fan but other than that I left highly unimpressed. Now in the anime she is ONCE AGAIN pictured in a house, serving people drinks and nagging away as if that’s all she’s good for anymore. I know it was played as a joke but that’s exactly what makes me so mad - her character has become nothing more than a trope meant to appeal to the lowest common denominator. The nagging housewive angle truly is the lowest hanging fruit but studio peirrot really could not resist could they.

Nevermind the fact that it would have been way funnier had they subverted the whole “why did you marry such a strict woman” thing by having Shikadai side with his mom instead, saying something to the effect of “why did you marry such an unmotivated slacker”. Can we stop treating Temari like she’s just an overly aggressive loaded gun that’s just one mistep away from going off. I mean I genuinely love Shikatema but I do not think the Boruto anime understands Shikatema. Part of me still wishes they just hadn’t got together because they don’t actually feel like “them” when they’re portrayed like this. No one is being respected as a character. 

Anyway all this to say I’m basically done with the Boruto anime now. I might still watch the next couple of episodes because curiosity is gonna get the better of me but emotionally I have severed all connections. It just comes down to the fact that I cannot handle them so grossly mischaracterizing characters that I have loved since I was 11 years old. I actually don’t mind the new gen when they’re on their own but every damn time they show one of the original characters they manage to fuck them up in some way. We see it with Temari, with Naruto, with Yamato, with Sakura. Hell I can’t stand Sasuke and even I’m mad about what they did to him post chapter 699. I am never going to like the new gen characters more than the original cast so if watching Boruto means seeing them get completely decimated then I’m not gonna watch it. Simple as that. Naruto being an absent father is the worst crime but I have no doubt they’ll continue to top that in future episodes. 

[msfcatlover]

Just posting links to some of my favorite MP100 AMVs that I found. Mainly so I can find them again at some point (I lose everything. Even bookmarks. Even playlists. At least this way I’ll see it whenever I go back through these tags.) but also in case anyone else wanted to check them out? I’m leaving a little review of each.

Obviously they all have spoilers for the show, and most of them are flashy with pretty fast cuts. So, um, be aware of that.

【MAD】--- Good song choice (based on the subtitles, anyway,) smooth cuts, interesting use of transparency. This one is nice because it actually makes an effort to match the meaning of the lyrics to the meaning of the scene its using, while still knowing where to cut the scene in order to keep up the pacing, which you really don’t get enough of in AMVs. It’s hard to put into words exactly what I like so much about this one, but I do recommend it.

[CROSSFIRE] --- Listen. I don’t know if those tiny gasps in the beginning are part of the song, added sound effects, or what...and I don’t care. It breaks my heart. The song choice is pretty good, and the transitions are mostly smooth, although there’s some filters and extra flashes added that bother me a bit. I do feel it could have ended at 3:17 and the video would have been stronger (ending on a heavy moment of loss and a quiet point in the music,) but oh well.

Paranormal --- This one kinda fascinates me. It watches more like a trailer than a music video, using instrumental-only music combined with some of Mob and Reigen’s lines from throughout the show (with a few others) to build this really beautiful, tense mood. There’s a few clips I think weaken that mood (like the sword bouncing off Reigen’s neck,) but otherwise it’s pretty damn strong.

I Get Wicked --- It’s... okay, it’s mostly just different fight scenes spliced together, and the editing is a bit wonky in places (I think a few clips are allowed to go on too long, a few transitions don’t work, and have no idea what’s up with the fast-forward in the beginning.) That said. I love how this one puts a focus on the parallels between the Scars and our heroes; the way it’s set up, the lyrics even seems to go back and forth on whose perspective they’re from. I don’t know if that’s what the creator was going for, or if they were just going for “Look how cool these fights are!” but either way. I like it.

FINAL - Awakening --- Aside from a couple weird transitions at the beginning (why the lyrics? Why the lens flare? I dunno,) most of the transitions in this one are really smooth and manage to match the scenes together in a way that feels good to watch. It follows the peaks and valleys of the song really well, and picks scenes to make those crescendos hit well. I don’t read more complexities into it, it just feels good to watch.

Down the Road with Reigen --- First: I straight-up love the choice of music. In this context, the use of filters works much better, because each one is matched with a distortion in the music. The timing is pretty impeccable, and there’s a couple of really nice transitions in there. Also. I like the use of name cards. It’s integrated really well, matching up to the beat of the music, and almost... makes you feel more grounded in all the craziness? I don’t know how to describe it, but the re-introduction of the characters works really well. The last 10-15 seconds are just an endcard, so once you see Ritsu on the couch, know that the music video is over.

Little Lion Man --- *breathes* This one. The transitions are so smooth. The clips are chosen to match the original meaning of the scene with the lyrics, while still being edited to match the pacing and tone of the lyrics. I keep trying to pick a part that I love best to pick apart the details and how well they’re done (Ritsu’s chorus? The way it uses Mob and Reigen’s first meeting multiple times to bring out the same feeling of warmth it was tied to with the first one? Gosh darn everything about the end sequence?) but I can’t. If I had to pick anything to critique, I’d say the beginning’s a little abrupt and the clips don’t quite fit together as well for most of the first verse, but... still. Watch it. I implore you.

Hey Brother --- The creator openly admits that his one was directly inspired by the last; it shows. Most of the clips fit well with the lyrics and tone, and it definitely taps into the emotional core of Mob and Ritsu’s relationship in places, but... There are several cuts that I feel are too abrupt, taking you out of the rhythm of things by throwing your senses off, and I feel it does rely a bit too heavily on Mob fighting Claw. For a video about the brother’s relationship, it’s surprisingly light on Ritsu, doesn’t show a much of Mob’s conflict around attacking Claw, and it leaves out the forest scene altogether. I feel like the forest scene is kinda vital to their relationship in the anime, don’t you? I know I’m being much more critical of this one. It’s probably because I watched them back-to-back, and one works so hard to use the same techniques that are so good in the other that any flaw in the execution really stands out. If you want my recommendation, between the two of them you should watch this one first.

NEW DIVIDE --- Honestly, I love this one just a little bit more than the Little Lion Man video. But where I had trouble explaining how and why I loved that one, this one I can explain very easily. Are you ready? LOOK AT THAT MOTHERFUCKING LAYERING. LOOK AT THOSE TRANSITIONS. HOLY SHIT, IT’S ALL SO SMOOTH, IT FLOWS SO WELL, I CAN’T EVEN SPOT WHERE SOME SCENES CHANGE OVER, ARE YOU SEEING THIS?!  The places of overlap, combined with the match-cuts, combined with the timing...! Wow. Just wow. Just... wow. How? Magic. Watch it.

"Run Mob Run" --- Okay, I’m not going to scream and rant over how impressive all of these are. This is another one that chose a good song, and has good, smooth transitions; the stand-out thing here is the pacing. As the song builds up the tension, the cuts change speed, coming fastest in the middle and at the end, but never feeling clumsy or abrupt. The change in speed makes the cuts that are held on longer feel weightier (and they, too, do not linger long enough to throw off the timing.)  It’s a good, solid video that feels good to watch, even if it gets a bit hectic towards the end.

Lone Digger 100 --- Last one, and I’m running out of words. Which worries me, because I want to give this one a ringing endorsement; the timing is just about perfect (just watch Reigen pop the Black Orbs in time with the beat,) the transitions are smooth, and the choice of music... You know I don’t listen to a lot of electro-swing? Which is weird, because every time I hear it anywhere, I love every second of it.  This is the only video on this list that actually made me laugh, and the way it matches its clips is really fascinating to watch, several of the transitions are pretty damn clever, and while normally I don’t like it when AMVs include dialogue from the program (as either altering the volume of the music, cutting it out entirely, or having them talk over the lyrics are the most typical methods,) this one times the clip that does so so that it falls at a point where the music has no lyrics and is relatively soft, making it actually work really well. The use of text is a little odd (sometimes it works really well, other times it throws me; I wish they’d kept up with the initial theme of integrating it into the environment or gesture of the clip somehow,) I do recommend giving it a watch.

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic

I was talking to an online friend on Twitter not too long ago, and the subject of bad fanfiction came up. My friend had been reading “My Immortal” and losing his shit over it. I asked if he’d read “Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen” and it turned out he had not. He’d never even heard of it.

Indeed, while this story is one of the best-known badfics out there, it’s still considerably less popular than “My Immortal” is, and I think that’s a damn shame. This may be my personal favorite work of bad fanfiction; it’s a fantastic example of the “so bad it’s good” genre. Author BeckyMac666 writes like no other English-language writer has ever written, and this is both a good and a bad thing. She’s almost certainly a troll, given the blatant use of established badfic tropes and several parallels with “My Immortal,” but when you’re this good at being terrible it really doesn’t matter how serious you are about it.

For the record, there are folks who believe that this fic and “My Immortal” share an author, due to the aforementioned parallels. I personally don’t think that’s true, since the prose is very different, but if it amuses you to imagine that they’re written by the same person, be my guest.

Like virtually all Twilight badfic, this story is about a mysterious new girl arriving in Forks and shaking up Bella and Edward’s relationship by creating a love triangle. As usual, Bella is made out to be completely awful in the process, Jacob is largely forgotten about, and the protagonist may not be entirely human herself. This is far weirder, and more entertaining, than your average shitty Twilight fanfiction, though. Mark my words.

I first MSTed this fanfiction back on the old WordPress version of this blog, but, as that was a long time ago and I like to think I’m funnier nowadays, I rewrote most of my comments. It’s not wildly different, but hopefully it is an improvement over the old version.

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson of my story, hope its better this time!

I have no idea what the unedited version of this thing looked like, but I honestly can’t imagine it being any more ridiculous than the final story.

btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok !

Use spellcheck, you fool! Or get a proofreader!

no critisism pls!

Oops.

tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL!

The Tara parallel here is probably intentional. Zac never gets mentioned again, much like Tara’s boyfriend, but Tiffi isn’t Becky’s beta reader and they don’t have a spat partway through or anything of that sort.

EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!)

Honestly, I think this is how all fanfiction should open. Just tell me straight-up what character you wanna bang before the story’s even started. Save us all some time.

love &blood becky mac! xxx x x xx

Aww. That’s kinda cute.

UPDATE: I have a proofreader and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot as you will see (thank u vickie!)

Yeah, Vickie, thank you. Looks like you’re doing a great job and you’ve got everything under control here.

i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.

Since this fic got “abandoned,” subsequent chapters have not actually been improved. Not that one can tell, anyway.

Altantiana

Yes, that is a typo of her OC’s name. Off to a great start.

Hey, my names Atlantiana Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa).

Virtually no one calls her Tiana during the course of the story. Just so you know. “Tiaa” isn’t a typo, either, though I have no idea why the author felt the need to add an extra A.

Notice the middle name? Subtle.

I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington!

This actually makes her a year younger than Bella, for the record.

My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist.

It’s pale and it’s pale? Also, gold and amber are not the same color.

My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight.

I’ve been complimented on my fentures before too, but it’s nothing worth bragging about.

I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, HORNY guys that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!) but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story.

Well, gee, after that modest description of yourself I’m shocked that boys think you’re attractive, Tiaa. You sounded so plain and ordinary.

Am guessing that the girls who don’t tell a different story are gay.

They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!)

I hate when girls pick on me for being too ethereal.

Even though we’re using the “attractive character looks anorexic but isn’t” trope, and that’s obviously not so great, I guess it’s nice that Tiaa/Becky took the time to point out that the comparison is disrespectful to people who actually have anorexia or another eating disorder.

The bit about Ellie Mayfair is one of the best things I’ve ever read. I hope you guys all understand why I had to run this fic now.

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me!

Ah, the “skinny yet improbably busty” body type. Strangely more common in fiction than in real life.

Tiaa totally does care who stares at her, by the way. As we’ll see shortly.

I have a lip ring and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. I smell like mint and cinnamon.

I have no idea why we’re supposed to care about any of this, but I’m particularly unclear about why we should care what she smells like.

I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue and listen to COOL music!

Tiaa’s specific music taste never comes up, to my recollection, but I’m betting My Chemical Romance is involved.

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole some sweet people but it is not like having a real family.

Yeah, Tiaa is adopted. This is sort of plot-important later on, but we never get to learn much about her life prior to Dave and Marie.

I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much.

I mean… you just moved in with them.

My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him.

Foreshadowing!

Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall.

Presumably because she’s too ethereal.

I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it.

That could have something to do with why they’re staring.

I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) and told a ditsy blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!) when she called me a freak!

God I love this author’s writing style. Truly, no one has ever written like this, before or since. BeckyMac666 is one of the unsung geniuses of our time.

Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye cause NO ONE messes with me nemore!

Most of the rest of the story is about various people messing with Tiaa. For the record.

My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,.

I’m a pretty big fan of the phrase “cloud-embittered,” although it is of course completely meaningless.

Hey, uh… why the hell hasn’t she gotten dress coded? I went to a private school and I guess our dress code was a bit stricter than most, but most high schools will get upset at teenage girls for not covering their knees and shoulders, let alone having any undergarments visible. Tiaa’s entire bra is showing through her fishnet top. This is a situation in which I think it’d be reasonable to ask her to change.

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) on my ankle and a Gothic cross on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life.

I don’t know why we’ve gone right back to (over)describing Tiaa, but I do think I should delete my entire OkCupid bio and replace it with this opening chapter.

Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl.

Could’ve fooled me!

I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret witch I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it!

That’s nothing. I had a dream once where I explained the meaning of Nirvana lyrics to somebody (obviously not possible in real life), and I couldn’t remember my explanation when I woke up either.

I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color!

I’d like to remind you that this is set in the Twilight universe. It’s already got magical creatures, and there are rules established about their abilities, appearances, and behavior. Tiaa is clearly not quite human, but she doesn’t seem to be a vampire, a half-vampire, or a werewolf. She’s completely unique within her universe, for no defined reason, and the rules governing other nonhumans don’t apply to her.

Like, the physical description and the obvious homage to “My Immortal” already made it clear that this girl is a Mary Sue, but this author clearly gets that Sue status isn’t just about looking unreasonably pretty. It’s about defying the rules of canon. Tiaa’s outstanding at that, as you’ll see later on.

I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people.

God, what a sentence.

I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire.

Something like… bad writing?

The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept!

There are so many bad fanfics where the prose is bare-bones, with few or no adjectives/adverbs and simple sentence structure. BeckyMac666 tends in the opposite direction, and it’s awesome. Everything is phrased as though it’s super dramatic, nonsense metaphors abound, and our author has clearly never met an adjective she didn’t like. Hey @ aspiring trollfic authors: take note. This is how you write an entertaining badfic.

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me.

Also a big fan of how Tiaa always talks about herself as though she’s checking herself out.

It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him.

Kind of like an erection only she’s a girl so she didn’t get one you sicko.

I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt!

Foreshadowing! Again!

A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant so i thought well whatevah, hes taken.

Straight-up one of the greatest similes I’ve ever seen. Like, I study English literature and I don’t think I’ve ever read a metaphor better than that one. I’m not joking, it’s brilliant.

She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low.

The modesty act might be a little more convincing if we hadn’t just read several paragraphs of Tiaa talking about how hot she is.

So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there.

Hey, what’s a “bald drug”? I go to a liberal arts college and I’ve watched the entirety of Breaking Bad multiple times, so you think I’d have heard of it.

As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes as they met mine.

Musk is a substance some male animals secrete for scent-marking purposes. The word comes from the Sanskrit for “scrotum.” Thought you all should know.

I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class.

This bitch just hotboxed a locker room on her first day of school. 

I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

Remember that this is the beta-read version of the chapter.

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems)

So you know how self-insert characters, particularly Sues, often have self-proclaimed “anger issues”? I wanna talk about that, actually, because it’s a trope I see not only in fanfiction but in published fiction, and it honestly bugs me.

In real life, anger issues are a totally legitimate character flaw, and one that can have serious negative consequences in-universe. A character with a bad temper may make rash decisions, screw up their relationships with others, have trouble holding down a job, get in trouble with the law, and so on; people who have anger problems are often mentally ill and/or traumatized, too, and the anger may be just the tip of the iceberg. Many morally ambiguous characters, well-written ones, have trouble with anger. There’s nothing wrong with this trope when it’s executed correctly.

In the hands of a less-than-competent writer, however, anger issues are the opposite of a problem, because the character’s show of anger will invariably cause others to back down or apologize and there will be no negative consequences. Writing a character who’s so sweet and charming that they always get their way has exactly the same effect, but as that trope falls out of style “anger issues” has taken its place and the authors who write these characters have no idea that they’re doing the same thing as the trope they thought they were avoiding.

Of course, this is the work of a troll, and the use of this trope is almost certainly intentional, but there are way too many authors who employ it unironically as a way to give a “flaw” to a character that even they realize is bordering on unrealistic.

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven "please forgive me my lady”

Author’s so fond of weird phrases that I have no idea whether or not “wet heaven” is intended as innuendo.

It was the hawt pale guy!

Dun dun dunnnn!

Next chapter