#obviously pet names were used too but using those for platonic friends was more common back then too

[marzipanandminutiae]

I will dive in with more Thoughts here, because I can! specifically about the 19th century, since that's my era of expertise

short answer is that it varied wildly because, outside some urban centers, cohesive queer community was not really a thing. Hard to come to agreed-upon common terms when you have nobody to agree upon them with

"friend" and "companion" are the terms I've seen most often, especially for sapphic relationships (two women). even when it's pretty clear from context that they know their union is different from other friendships. a c. 1800 letter to one Charity Bryant from her female lover, for example, both calls her "my friend" and mentions that they must "speak of love softly"- in mispelled French as a sort of code -in case the lover's mother reads the letter

Anne Lister, of course, notably referred to each of her two successive wives as just that. so clearly that was not an unheard-of terminology in private

I've seen "lover" less often, and mostly in period erotica, but I don't think it's too far-fetched that some Worldly-Wise queer people might have used it

long-term relationships that successfully avoided suspicion of homosexuality could- paradoxically, to the modern reader -be deemed marriage-like by the participants' communities. once again we turn to Charity Bryant, who lived with her wife Sylvia Drake from 1807 until her death, and whose town (Weybridge, Vermont, USA) effectively considered them married. but like, you know- a Chaste Devoted Pure "marriage" between two Spinster Ladies. the best explanation I can find for this is that, when marriage is considered an innately holy institution, any union of two people that seems similarly positive may be compared to it

but of course, that only worked if you

A. had a single long-term monogamous partner, and

B. managed to convince people that you were completely platonic Best Buddies living together, with no sex going on (romance could often fly under the radar as Really Faithful Sacred Friendship, Oh How Inspiring if you were able to strike exactly the right balance of public devotedness. especially for women, but for men, too)

very rarely, and mostly just in a clinical sense, do you see terms like "homosexual lovers" or "lesbian lovers" being used. those terms had negative connotations in the broader world, as you might imagine. your bachelor uncle might have resolved to Never Marry and taken up housekeeping with his Good Chum so they will not be bothered by Fussing Women; your friend might have devoted herself to her Dearest Lady Companion to Seek A Pure Life Free From The Cares of Marriage (read: sex), but they're not homosexual lovers. that implied something very specific, very different, and very bad to the average cishet person of the 19th century

tl;dr- in the 19th century, "friend/companion" seems to have been the most common term used by queer people for same-gender partners (and by The Straights, for same-gender couples that successfully flew under the radar), though occasionally marriage-related terms came into play

obviously erasure of gay relationships in history does and has existed but ngl it irritates me when people specifically latch onto the word "friend" as something you're somehow not allowed to call gay people & that by calling them "friends" you're somehow denying their gayness. because the fact of the matter is that a lot of gay people in history would and did call themselves friends & did not see that as excluding the possibility of romantic love or sex. like it's a perfectly fine word to use provided you're acknowledging the possibility of the full breadth of what that relationship could mean, and in fact a lot of times to assign other words to them is to make assumptions about how they viewed their relationship and potentially to impose concepts on them they wouldn't have seen themselves in

[connie-taylor]

tldr: dumb rant about ppl acting like anyone who ships danny/julie and le.land/ana are wrong and heres why!!!! just tired of seeing the same arguments everywhere. obviously danny/maria and le.land crushing on julie are canon, just leave the d/j and l/a shippers alone damn

everytime someone brings up "hey why does danny call julie sweetie if he is supposedly dating maria" people always say "uhm its common in the south in the 70s for old women to call everyone petnames" or "uhm julie calls the girls babe does that mean shes dating them too".

and, it just genuinely frustrates me.

first of all, danny and le.land are not old women. they are 21 and 18 year old men, respectively. saying "sweetie" is common for older women to use as an endearing pet name doesn't apply when the people using the petnames are teenage/young adult men?

also, even IF you use that as your reasoning, why then does le.land not call connie or julie sweetie? why does danny not call connie or ana sweetie?

danny ONLY addresses julie with the petname, no one else in their group.

le.land ONLY addresses ana with the petname, no one else in their group.

some people then use the argument that le.land is older than ana (by a year) and was friends with maria (her older sister), so he sees ana as a younger sister figure too and is using it platonically in that way and that's why he doesn't call any of the other girls petnames because the other girls are older than him. that'a fair, but still fails to explain why danny (21, oldest in the group) only addresses julie, specifically with the petname, when she is the same age as him.

then when you get into "julie calls the girls ____", "ana calls julie _____". whether or not you hc any of the group as lgbtq (which i do, lol) - you cannot hold the girls saying those names to their other female friends to the same standard as young men saying those names to one specific girl in their friend group each? as much as i'd like to say hell yea, equality!!!! it just doesn't make sense for the character personalities (strong headed 18 yr old jock, rough around the edges guy from the wrong side of the tracks) that GUN wants to push for le.land and danny to have, for them to use petnames in the same way that a hyper feminine girl from cali would use them.

as a side note, i have seen many people say that if they (maria) heard their boyfriend (danny) calling one of the other girls in their friendgroup (julie) sweetie like that, that they would be very uncomfortable which makes sense because sweetie is almost always used, in the context of a young man and woman together, romantically. absolutely no one is saying that the term is ALWAYS romantic or the petnames ALWAYS are romantic in general, but within the context of the group and their personalities, it is a very odd choice by GUN to have each guy single one girl out with the petnames.

in horror movies as well, it's extremely common for there to be 1 or more couples within friend groups, that's just common tropes, even within the original tcm film there is kirk and pam, and sally and jerry then franklin tagging along.

to me, in my honest opinion, it really seems that GUN originally planned to have ana and le.land as a couple, and julie and danny as a couple. i have no clue what happened between then and now, but even pre-release one of the devs had posted "maaaaybe" in reply to someone asking if le.land and ana were dating, which of course originally set people into thinking that they were. obviously, that was not a confirmation of that, but it was misleading if the answer was firmly no. i just think they had other plans in mind for the victims but already had voicelines recorded. i'm sure in the upcoming lore stream they will give some half assed reason like "oh julie is marias bff so danny calls her sweetie cuz maria liked her" or something, but oh well.

i just wanna like my ships in peace without people throwing that stuff at me. at the end of the day they are my ocs anyway, and GUN lore is sloppy and half assed anyway so we ignore most of it. the pals all date and kiss and smooch and thats it

[wilted3sunflowers]

characters made for @oznitus​ dorm, ling already knows Mara but now they also get to meet the new group on the block

They all hail from The Emerald Plains 

Mara Malice Species: human Inspired by: Madam Morrible  Height: 5′7″ Age: 21 Favorite Food: salt water taffy Hated Food: Corn [popcorn is the only corn allowed]  Fun Fact: Would have been part an important family but her father ran off with his “true love” in poverty instead of just marrying who he was arranged with. Mara doesn’t know this.  Unique Magic: The Fates Design She can set the goal and things will fall into place, if its further into the future or a very hard to accomplish goal it will take a lot of magic, and even saps magic from her a bit for each day as fate gets rolling into place like she wanted. so shes not seen doing a lot of magic, especially if she has plans going on behind the scenes. Most don’t know her unique magic. 

A teachers assistant that typically while helping grade and work on other things is stationed in Oznitus. Kind of like a baby sitter but not that Crowley would say that. She’s actually earned the nickname ‘mama’ from some more ornery students. As her first year being a teachers assistant she kind of wants to put the best example forward and typically will just say white lies.

“Oh no, Trien sir, i just passed those students in the library. Are you sure that it was them you saw? Come, let’s talk this out, i’d love to help you solve this mystery” taking his arm and leading him off meanwhile the students in question hiding under her desk or throughout the room just out of sight.  Actually has grown close friends with the main Oznitus trio, especially Mika who she talks a lot more casually with and interacting more with him like a best friend especially when off the clock so to say. Gets along well with Evett and Theo too.  Mika started a joke of telling the first years to call Mara and Evett ‘Mama’ and ‘Pops’ because they can be quite the more paternal of them trying to keep everyone in line and orderly 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Viridian Hunter Species: Human Inspired by: The gate keeper Height: 5′1″ Favorite Food: Filet Mignon Hated Food: Chocolate covered Cherries Year: 2nd Age: 18 Class: 2-D  Best Subject: Summoning Club: Light Music - he feels remiss they don’t actually practice their instruments much and a lot of it is just ‘socializing’  Fun Fact: Thinks women are amazing, it’s a common thought from the Emerald plains that the women are the more highly regarded ones. Typically better at magic than the others Though has that actually been put to the test? Where are those stats? How did they test the magic? Seems a bit of just another one of Viridian’s biases  Unique Magic: Lock and Key  He can make anything un-openable but also he can just as easily open anything he wishes with a magic formed skeleton key. He usually can’t open things enchanted though. he’s trying to see if he can though, he wants to see if he can eventually get to that level. 

Met Tsavorite while very young and actually was an orphan the family took in and while they technically adopted him it was very clear he was more of a live in friend because Tsavorite wanted him around. Playing a lot of dress up, playing fun games, telling Viridian to break some rules that were in place that usually would get Viridian so worried and wound up but bending to Tsavorites will to do as she asked and if he got caught Tsavorite would just coolly say “ I told him to.” and that was the end of the conversation. She has surprised him by saying this when he was caught once actually trying to sneak seconds in the middle of the night because he didn’t eat much that day from playing all day with Tsavorite. They sat there in the kitchen with Tsavorite eating with him after the staff made something fresh. It’s one of his most appreciated memories. 

He admires Tsavorite greatly and does anything she asks of him. To him Tsavorite can’t do wrong, he knows rules, he knows morallly that some of the things she does do....isn’t the best. But rules don’t apply to Tsavorite. He learned that one early on. 

He is more akin to a butler and handmaiden for Tsavorite, picking out outfits, getting them clean, making appointments, doing Tsavorites hair, he even bathes her as if she was a genuine princess that gets pampered. Though Berenice was the one to point out that was a bit ‘odd’ before Tsavorite hushed her and told her she could do it if she found it so ‘odd’ which had Berenice not saying another word on the matter. 

Viridian is slightly jealous of the fact Berenice seems to be the favorite, though he does sometimes wonder if it’s actual favoritism considering Berenice does get called ‘Little Kitten’ and petted often as if she was an actual pet and more closely scrutinized by Tsavorite if shes not groomed to the usual expectation and wearing what she told her to. Though he often shrugs this thought off to the back of his mind. After all he was Tsavorites doll first before Berenice came into the picture. Tsavorite cares about those close to her, even if she shows it in...odd ways. He’s sure of it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tsavorite Diona Proserpine Species: Human ( ? ) has some fae blood in her Inspired by: The Emerald City Height: 6′ 6″ Favorite Food: Green Apple slices with Caramel  Hated Food: Tapioca Pudding Year: 2nd Age: 19 Class: 2-E Best Subject: Magic Practice Club: Gargoyle research facility  Fun Fact: Doesn’t yet know how to genuinely interact with people on a personable level, even those closest to her don’t get the full her and her emotions she keeps locked tight. Kind of considers those closest to her more like pets or toys with appreciation but it feels there’s not actual thought of them as their own free willed people. She needs to work on this.  Unique Magic: Emerald Spires Creating dazzling green stone columns and working more and more each day to forming them into other shapes and see how far she can stretch them. She has successfully been able to make walls which, if you think about it, is just a horizontal column...kind of. 

Tsavorite Proserpine. A name that strikes fear into those of the Emerald Plains. Those who are smart enough to know who really runs the capital. Coming from a long family who’s said to even started the capital base of the Emerald Plains. Born with a Silver spoon in her mouth and treated more like royalty than just simply someone rich due to the power of both financials and magic prowess her and her family possesses. What Tsavorite wants, Tsavorite gets. 

She knows money and power get you everything and connections are how you strengthen keeping your station. She very much lives by the ‘Keep your enemies close’ rule but it should be no shock that Berenice and Viridian are the closest to her. While it may seem that she treats them as lackeys, those who actually have seen Tsavorite interacting with general working class staff and those who she’s not close to that Viridian and Berenice are obviously more favored by her with more ‘niceties’ given to them. 

Viridian is the one trusted fully to handle her appointments, her outfits, keeping everything organized and in place. He’s trusted enough that she knows he could never do anything of his free volition that would come at her. If something caused him to turn on her, she would no doubt know it was a fake or a spell that caused something like that to change 

Berenice she finds simply adorable, such a predator, such a beauty, Berenice has a lot of physical power but she’s just such a lap cat, its where she should be is what Tsavorite thinks of her. A powerful girl by her side, dressed looking cute how she likes. She thinks the meekness she can have is cute but finds her unique magic the most interesting aspect of her. Such contradictions in Berenice. It’s fun. She doesn’t fully trust Berenice though. Not yet. Not on Viridians level.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Berenice Kelly Lemongrass Species: Lion beast folk Inspired by: The cowardly lion Height: 5′10″ Favorite Food: Seared Ahi Tuna Hated Food: granola bars Year: 2nd Age: 19 Class: 2-B  Best Subject: Flying skills Club: Basketball Fun Fact: doesn’t originally hail from The Emerald Plains, her family moved there when she was 12  Unique Magic: Trapped Her magic inflicts psychological damage trapping people in their minds for a short period of time with fears and horrible memories coming back to eat at them. Rarely used longer than a few minutes, if used longer the victim will pass out, if used too long...they might not be the same person they were at the start. But she hasn’t used it that long and doesn’t know what might happen. 

The supposed Bodyguard of Lady Tsavorite and while she is strong she’s just...not cut out for being that intimidating or strong willed. Often more easily curling in on herself and doing whats told of her. Lady Tsavorite personally decided she’d be her ‘bodyguard’ even if her magic is more impressive than Berenice’s and can go on much longer using it than Berenice as well. Berenice does have genuine power and strength and does her best to keep it up. 

Lady Tsavorite typically calls Berenice pet names, but immediately shuts down others who try saying any pet name to Berenice. Her favorite to use is usually “Little Kitten”. It was Lady Tsavorite who chose how she gets her hair down and expressed to her to wear those cute bows and make up as well and what Lady Tsavorite says, goes. 

Berenice thinks Viridian is the favorite, Lady Tsavorite doesn’t snap at him for his outfits or make up but then again...he’s never out of proper attire or looking ‘sloppy’ or ‘messy’ but also she wonders just how close two people can be. She’d consider them the closest people two can be platonically really that it’s almost admirable but she can’t feel at ease with Lady Tsavorites behaviors sometimes. While its nice having her head pat and ears scratched always needing to be dressed to her standards is kind of tiresome and does get her worried to being a rough around the edges as she can be sometimes as she likes to run and honestly she has a little bit of dramatic flair and has tried out for theatre. She’s quite good at getting into dramatic proses. 

[unfortunatelysirius]

I love you, but I’m scared // Remus Lupin  [Marauders Era]

「 ❁ 」PROMPT 「 ❁ 」

Y/N finds herself feeling non-platonic things for long-time best friend Remus. At risk of losing six and a half years of friendship, what can she do?

「 ❁ 」AUTHOR’S NOTE 「 ❁ 」

BET YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DISAPPEAR OFF THE GLOBE FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS HAHAHAHA BITCH U THOUGHT, in serious news idk how I feel about this so uhhhh feedback???? also this was like 2650 words idk why I wrote so much. hope it isn't trash!!!! :D fill the inbox with some love (and some requests wink wink) and have a happy weekend!!!

        It was past curfew at Hogwarts castle, the moon twinkling brightly in the sky outside, and to most students, it was time to snooze the night away. In the Gryffindor common room, all but two had vacated, retreating to their dorms for much needed relief. Y/N L/N and Remus Lupin had other priorities in mind.

Y/N was rewriting her notes for Arithmancy when she heard Remus clear his throat. He was against the other end of the sofa with his legs tucked into his chest, his Potions textbook acting as a surface for his parchment. Y/N was similarly using a journal. They’d been in the common room for hours, once surrounded by their friends before they decided to hit the sheets instead of their books. After their friends left, the two bookworms descended into silence. It’d been a while since either of them tried chatting through their overload of N.E.W.T.’s prep. Y/N peeked up, losing momentum, at his soft garble.

Remus’s eyes immediately went down to his legs when she looked over, so she looked down, too. His parchment was completely covered in perfect print with barely an inch left to write. “I need to borrow some parchment,” he said sheepishly.

Y/N’s face flushed for reasons beyond her, and she wordlessly fished around in her bag for some spare parchment. She felt less frazzled when she was able to locate a piece and hand it over to Remus.

“Thanks,” Remus said, his fingers brushing over hers without meaning to. Y/N felt sparks but she had no intention of speaking them into existence. 

They didn’t speak for a time after that. Remus scribbled furiously, managing to have pretty penmanship through his rush, and Y/N took her time rewriting and slimming down her notes. They would glance at each other on occasion, sometimes connecting without meaning to (and consequentially Y/N would feel quite embarrassed), and they’d cough or sneeze or swallow or smile out of the blue. It went on. Only when the common room clock tolled at 3 did the pair acknowledge they needed rest; even if tomorrow were Sunday, neither of them enjoyed sleeping in.

Remus gave Y/N a tentative smile. “I got a lot done,” he told her, affirming what she felt for herself. Her smile back was mega-watt. Truly she felt better than she had before he’d asked her to study with him. She thought her feelings would get in the way and make her nervous being around him for so long—alone, stuffy and uncomfortably silent, all he had for company—but surprisingly the opposite happened. It was like any other time they hung out.

As friends.

“Me too,” Y/N agreed. She reached out and gave him a side hug before she could chicken out. The baffled look on his face, mixed with something she couldn’t be certain about, made her regret it—but whatever. It was 3 am and he wouldn’t remember it in the morning. I’ll remember it. “Goodnight, Remus.”

        “Night, love,” Remus said sleepily, rubbing the crust from his eyes.

        The two of them went up their respective staircases, looking back at the same time and waving a final farewell. Y/N felt like a little girl as she face-planted her comforter and snuggled into the pillow, briefly thinking about the pet name Remus gave her. He used it sparingly, usually when exhausted, and it seemed tonight was one of those nights.

        Thinking about her best friend that way wasn’t right. He was her best friend. She met him before she met the Marauders, even before she became good friends with her dormmates. They’d been friends for so long that anything other than their routine would disrupt everything. Y/N had felt something other than platonic love for Remus since the summer of this year after he sent her a letter about his time at home. It wasn’t something small, either. She couldn’t fathom how she went from thinking it was gross when he drank pumpkin juice around her to watching his throat as he guzzled the atrocious liquid down. How—why—did she suddenly like him so much she couldn’t breathe around him? Why did things feel stilted?

        Did he know?

        She didn’t want to feel like this about him. He was her best friend, all their other friends were friends with each other, things were great the way they were and something new just wasn’t going to end well. Platonic love—maybe she was confusing it for the love she read about in her books. Maybe that’s all this was. Yeah.

        She was overreacting.

        Y/N didn’t fall asleep until it was well past what time it was when she stumbled back to her dorm, and by then the sun was coming up.

        She wasn’t one to sleep in but that morning she made an unconscious exception.

-

        Things may not have felt stilted when they hung out, but after they said their goodnights and went to bed, things changed. For Y/N, at least. She couldn’t be in the same room as Remus without feeling anxious beyond reason. She didn’t think she was obvious about it to their friends—maybe to the ever-observant Lily, but the Marauders had to be clueless, and Marlene and Alice were too busy talking about coursework. Remus wasn’t so oblivious. Y/N was constantly fleeing from conversations with excuses that never made much sense, and she was fumbling with what to say and how to act around him. She couldn’t ignore how her heart beat a little faster around him. Her entire body felt sweaty when he had his attention on her. She felt light, heavy, dead, and alive, at different ranges and nocks; she was sure it showed.

       Of course it showed. Remus was bewildered, and honestly a little hurt, as Y/N’s nerves got the best of her. He didn’t try hiding how he felt and he didn't shy away from trying to rekindle things, completely oblivious to what he did. Y/N felt cruel and wanted to hate herself for what she was doing. Remus didn’t deserve this; he deserved a better. Their communication issues felt like years-old radio silence when really the days of Y/N’s strange behavior were slow like a boat against the tide. 

    Their friendship had never been out there. They weren’t like James and Sirius were with each other, even from the beginning, so tiptoeing around each other and being quiet was just a part of them. They were introverted at heart. Remus always preferred being alone with Y/N so they could engage and relax without their loud and rowdy friends joining, Y/N reciprocating his energy wholeheartedly. But somehow along the way of discovering her feelings, Y/N found herself feeling afraid. That fear translated to isolation, her flee instinct on a victory roll as it repeatedly conquered “fight.” The tiptoeing became profuse excuses, blatant footsteps, Y/N on a never-ending treadmill that just kept getting faster.

        She didn’t want to admit to anything, especially if it meant losing Remus. Yet her heart also hated being away from him, hated doing things with anyone besides Remus, hated running away when all she wanted to do was have his company. Why was she so pathetic?

       Her friends were obviously more observant than she thought, and they weren’t shying from asking questions, and eventually Y/N started running from them too.

      She didn’t know how to get what she wanted without breaking her heart along the way. 

         She hid and she ran and she avoided. A cycle that inevitably caught up with her. 

       Sirius, the friend closest to her aside from Remus, met her during first-year Potions and hadn’t stopped pestering her since. He wasn’t the most sensitive bloke and feelings weren’t a subject matter you went to him with. If you needed him to threaten or prank a bully, fine. If you wanted a dueling partner for the big Defense Against the Dark Arts practical, sold. If you were being obvious about running away from his best friend… feelings were probably involved, so he knew he wasn’t the right man for the job, but he’d have something to say regardless. He always knew what to do, even if it would backfire tremendously.

        Y/N was in her usual library nook reading an old fairy tale book, having been there for two and a half hours after Remus tried asking her to study with him, and she was just getting to the good part when—

        Sirius popped his shaggy head around a bookcase, a loud, “Hullo,” echoing in the corner, scaring Y/N so badly that her book went flying feet away.

        He merely glanced at the book (probably trying to see the title) before his entire body appeared from around the shelf. “Ah, so here’s where you’ve been running off to, aye?” He raised his eyebrows in a “Huh?” gesture. “Remus said you might be here.”

        Y/N winced, remembering that Remus knew all about her favorite spots around the castle. He must have seriously thought she had something against him if he was abiding her avoidance by doing some of his own.

        “I’m reading,” Y/N said weakly, grimacing when Sirius picked up her book and flipped through the pages. “Wasreading.”

        “You’ve been avoiding Remus for three days,” Sirius said pointedly, tossing her the book. Beauty and the Beast. How fitting. “He’s right glum about it. Bet he’s half mad wondering what he did to make you cross with him, too. So what was it?”

        Y/N felt like a fool thinking she was being subtle with anyone. if she didn’t catch it from her friends’ interrogations, she caught onto their suspicions now. Sirius wasn’t an idiot; Remus wasn’t either. Y/N’s actions weren’t normal, contrary to what her inner reassurances told her over the past 72 hours.

        “He didn’t do anything,” she told Sirius, hoping she sounded believable. Sirius looked like he wanted more: a confessionmost likely. “I… just feel weird around him.”

        Sirius smirked. “Ah, I see,” he said. Judging by his growing amusement, he’d immediately figured her out and was just taking his sweet time reveling in it. “Love, pesky little bugger, isn’t it?”

        “W—love?” Y/N shook her head frantically. “No, that’s not it. I just—”

        “You’re avoiding your best mate because things feel ‘weird,’” Sirius pointed out. “You already know about his furry little problem so that’s ruled out. What else makes being around a best mate weird? Maybe fancying him?”

        “Believe what you want,” Y/N said tiredly. Her brain chanted at her, Accept it! Accept it! Accept it! but she didn’t want to accept it. Not even deny it, honestly. She thought avoiding him would avoid ruining their friendship, and she knew eventually if she let herself get convinced there weren’t real feelings involved, things could go back to normal. It was all a matter of time and patience. Sirius was not adhering to her internal plans… not that she wanted him to know anything about what went on in her head. He’d just take advantage of it.

        Sirius stared at her, not buying the act, before turning around. “Aye, Moony, come over here.”

        Seconds passed and the color drained from Y/N’s face.

        “Don’t worry, he didn’t hear us,” Sirius said with a grin, eye dropping down into a wink that drove most of Hogwarts wild, “but you guys are about to talk. Good luck, mate.”

        He disappeared around the corner and Y/N strained her ears trying to hear the end of what murmured conversation went on between Remus and Sirius when they met. Sirius’s loud footsteps echoed in her corner as he left, replaced by Remus’s nervous face peering around the bookcase.

        “Hi,” Y/N said nervously, wanting to bury her face into her sleeves. She couldn’t do that without looking like a child so she just ran her hands over her copy of Beauty and the Beastand hoped (prayed, more like) for the best.

        Remus walked deeper into the corner. “Hi,” he returned.

       They stared at each other without erupting into quiet conversation as they usually did when alone, and Y/N felt like screaming knowing she’d caused the rift. If she was honest—and she bloody well had to be, knowing that she’d done what she had to Remus’s feelings—she’d put her feelings over his and prioritized her own discomfort. She ran because she didn’t like how she was thinking or feeling. Remus didn’t even get a chance to coast along; he was left in dirt, befuddled and bereaved.

        “I’m sorry,” Y/N choked out.

        “I’m sorry, too,” Remus immediately said, his head of chestnut hair falling so that his scalp was visible to Y/N but his face wasn’t. His voice was shaking, like he was fighting a battle with his own nerves—and losing. “I don’t know what I did to hurt you, but I’m sorry. If my… if my problem’s what’s bothering you, I promise I won’t bother you anymore. I just thought—”

        “Remus,” Y/N said, realizing what he thought. Realizing she was the biggest fucking idiot—biggest fucking jerk—in the universe. He thought she was avoiding him because he was a werewolf. That was the furthest thing from her mind, but how could she put that into words? She was shaking from all the things she should say, could say, didn’t say, and all she mustered was his name, coming out like a sob. “That’s not…”

        “It’s okay,” Remus said with a barely controlled breech in composure. His eyes betrayed him, signaling to Y/N that he felt disgusted with himself and he was in pain. Because of me. Y/N wanted to stand up and hug him. She knew she needed to reassure him that he was so wrong, that she would never turn her back on him because of something out of his control, but the pit of self-loathing in her stomach was making words escape her. “I know I’m a monster… You don’t have to apologize. I deserve it—”

        “Remus, goddammit,” Y/N said. She began to feel angry about how he was talking about himself.

        Remus continued on, his face turning wet with tears; “I know that what I am is always going to be a part of me, I don’t expect anyone to accept it. I don’t accept myself. How can I expect anyone else to? You were kind enough to even give me what you have—"

        “I love you!” Y/N burst out, louder than she’d ever talked, unwilling to listen anymore. She knew everyone in the library probably heard her but she didn’t care. Her attention was all for Remus, her mind exploding with persistent reasons why she should flee again—but she was tired of running. And she was tired of hurting Remus in the process. She was tired of him thinking she ran from him because of that, something he could never have helped. “I love you, Remus, but I’m scared. Not scared of you. Not scared of your problem. Hell, I don’t even care about that! Okay? I’m scared of ruining everything we have. We’ve been friends since bloody first year! That’s a long time! Sirius is like a brother, and James and Peter are some of my best mates that you’ve given me. If I—if I love you like this, it’s broken. It’s fucking ruined, innit? Things would never be the same and I, I’d rather break my heart a thousand times than walk over yours.”

        “Y/N…” Remus stared at her, mouth agape. If there was a word for his expression, he was confounded.

        “I’m sorry,” she whispered in return. And she was, so bloody sorry she could build a mountain out of her apologies. “

        “Don—don’t be sorry,” Remus said, more assertive, turning his head every which way like he had a fever he couldn’t shake. “Y/N… I love you, too. You know that, right? I thought… How could you love someone who’s a monster?”

        “Remus, shut the bloody hell up. You’renot a monster. You’re kind and selfless and brave and smart, and if anyone doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me. I don’t deserve you, Remus. But I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life and it’s unimaginable what I’d do for you. You give me butterflies but you also make me more scared than I was during O.W.L’s week. You’re just—perfect, Remus. Bloody perfect. And I’m sorry for running but know it was never because of you—it’s because I was afraid to lose you.”

        “You won’t ever lose me, Y/N,” Remus said with tears. Y/N had gotten up from her chair, book falling off her lap, and she was there to wipe them away. She held his head in her hands, staring at him like he was her whole bloody world. She hoped he saw it. “I… you’re my best friend. And you’re the love of my life. I’ve been afraid, too, but maybe we can have both without losing either.”

        “If anyone can make that happen, it’s us,” Y/N said, laughing through her tears.

        Remus was not a monster and at the end of the day Y/N wasn’t either.

But hurting the people you loved was something a monster did, does. So what did that make Y/N? 

[seoafin]

oo yeah, the stark differences in eng fics on ao3 and those that i’ve read in websites like pixiv/ weibo/ lofter/ typesetters is a high-context asian subtle/implicit intimacy vs low-context western loud/explicit intimacy (1)

tho ,, i think the setting (character + environment + time) and the prompt (au? canon? romance? slice of life? epic?) play into it. i think the differences that exist between portrayals of intimacy by east asian authors and by western authors largely stem from cultural philosophy, which could make some things jarring to those unfamiliar with either

tbh i'm the type of person who, when reading lit abt supposedly asian characters, would appreciate the story more if it was also true to the characters' culture, and so i'd also like to see them experience and understand love the same way asians experience and understand love. but that's just me (i know there are diaspora who like to see other things), and that's also for a concept that's more for peaceful romance/character-centric settings. it’d be a different case if the story is plot-driven, or historical, or apocalyptic

i personally prefer the nuance of intimacy in pieces by east asians bc that's what i like to see and what i'm familiar with. but either way, i don't mind the differences exist. it just means that there's a variety to all of our experiences. as long as it's written into the narrative in an organic manner, it will still feel like a love i can appreciate, whether romantic or platonic or anything in between.

the whiplash was intense when i opened a fic bc i was curious or bored (or both rly) and then boom, untagged daddy kink. SHSHS it makes me giggle sumtimes, since he’s a jpnese character, when it comes to gojou, bc personally i just can't imagine him calling anyone any kind of petname unless it means to fuck with them,,, like, for eg, in stsg fic i just can't vibe with gojou calling suguru anything but his name, but that's just me and largely the way i interpret their characters, and it's just nice to know that all the authors of jp/cn/kr fic i've read before feel the same way more or less ,, but that's it HSJJSJS if someone else decides they want gojou calling suguru this or that, then that's like, alright. that's what they want to write and see, yk, and there's nothing wrong with that, i'll just swerve respectfully lmao

also for pdas,, i think it definitely depends on the age of the couple and the setting

like, if they're a campus couple, pda is pretty common. handholding, picking each other up from class, study dates in the library/courtyard/cafe, going to drinking parties together, that sort of thing.

the most common petname i've heard cn campus couples use is "baobao/baobei" (寶寶/寶貝), which means precious/baby/darling. for jp couples, tbrh i've never heard anything ,, my friends and cousins don't use petnames either

honestly,,, if u're cn/jp and u're dating someone ur age or younger, u'd probs call them by their given name or a nickname with an affectionate prefix/suffix (小，阿，兒 etc or the norm ちゃん, くん, さん, 先輩/ 輩先 suffix) and ig u could call that a petname. if u're dating someone older than u, then u'd call them (insert name)-san or senpai/jie/ge if u and they want, and that would show how close u are. some ppl date and call each other by their full names, too, and even with honourifics. and some ppl use just their partner's given names.

for kr,, idk much but i think it’s usually 이,야,아 etc and noona/oppa/unni/hyung ????

for older couples, like married couples or people who are working, pda tends to lean towards petnames. "sweetheart", "honey", "wife/husband", that sort of thing. if they're parents, they'd probably call each other "dad", "mum" (I NEVER HEARD MY OWN PARENTS NAME LEAVING THEIR LIPS WHEN THEY ADDRESS THE OTHER)

but if its pda like,, making out in public, i don't think it's very common. i've never seen it shhsjsjs (arm holding can be rewarded with a stink eye from the conservatives elderly (mostly), from where i came from)

in fic, it's abt the same, which means it would depend on the age/setting/couple's preference with the addition of the author's preference which just,,, uh shows , ig

but then again,, pls cmiiw if anyone else knows more

altho i’m a “respect is earned” type of person ,, when it comes to (conservative) elders, it will just fly out of the window,,, the repercussions....just no 🥰 some of them are so fucking petty and are hellbent to teach u a lesson, its actually embarassing

back when the yo mama jokes were still popular and 24/7 circulating in the internet,, me and some friends were 😃😃 like yall can say this and get away with it? when daylight arrive after i crack this kind of joke in front of my relatives, my mom is done scheduling for my cremation date

even if i dont intend it to mean disrespect in some convos,, the damage is done and my parents would straight up be like : “wtf did u just say? try repeating it once more and lets see if u can still sleep under a roof today.” either that or they’ll smack me before saying it ,, whichever could come first depending on their mood 🥴

my relatives wont ever missed if i ever forgot to address them when we meet or during a phonecall by a simple “uncle/ aunt/ grandfather/ grandmother” (usually my grandfather is the one so uptight abt it 💀) and it will end up into a short lecture abt “young kids these days..../ u havent forgot to eat yet u forgot what respect is?/ ur parents are fine ppl but what happen to u”

cue my mother glaring at me or giving the stink eye like @/&/&2@22 most of the times i’m distracted by sth and just spaced out while organising it in my head b4 it could get out of hand ,,, that and the titles i’ve used for each relative is different and i’m afraid to mixed it up bc again...stink eye ,,, like my father’s younger/ older brother and younger/ older sister and cousins + its another different handful of titles when it comes to my mother’s family 😔 - 🐱 (2)

yes!!!! there’s a lot of reasons why i enjoy stsg fics and it’s because gojo and geto are always treated like people in stsg fics.....i’ve found that in a lot of reader insert fics you could replace gojo and geto with the male lead of those mafia boss stories on wattpad and it wouldn’t make a difference LMAO gojo and geto are often caricatures of themselves and it’s just something i’m personally not interested in.

also....i feel like there’s so much intimacy in how someone calls/says your name that just using pet names 24/7 gives it this superficial sense that i’m not really a fan of but then again, in fwb stories i totally understand.

another thing, I really feel like culture DOES play into it. obviously as asian people ourselves who come from a collectivist culture, our idea of love is different from the western concept of love. i feel like this especially comes into play when we see reader insert stories where the MC is super op and strong just so they can “match” gojo and gojo doesn’t need to worry about them even though it’s not even needed!! in asian cultures it’s not a burden to take care of people. it’s love. and i feel like western people don’t quite grasp that bc it’s such an individualist culture (this is a not nuanced at all / a generalization but u get the point)

yeah full on pda in fics always gets me because in japan???? lmao no honey!!! although gojo would definitely do it, not every character would LOL

gojo would pet names as a joke aka ironically, but i just don’t see him doing it seriously unless it's dear or smt

my mom is so big on respect. she always gets into fights abt with my brother and it’s a generational difference tbh but i digress, it’s not like it’s bad to be polite to your elders, but I do think koreans can take it too far to the point where it’s detrimental!!

[kpopcotton]

Simply Soft ~ NCT DREAM

a/n ~ i love them and can’t stop thinking about them, so here’s what activity they enjoy doing with you • Prompt: doing dishes and wanting a cute boy to help me out (spoiler) • Genre: platonic fluff, bullet point scenario, ot7 and nct member!reader • Warning(s): heartache, desire to have a friendship like the dreamies do, one curse word • Reader Gender: gender-neutral

==≎==

Mark

duets? duets.

doesn’t matter when or where, mark wants to hear your voice

either singing or rapping

sometimes acoustic, sometimes with music in the practice room where you can also dance together

basically, mark just wants to spend time with you so he is able to praise you for everything. he knows how quickly you can get self-conscious

very proud of your singing ability and always starts yelling about getting chills when you hit a note just right

loves hyping you up when you get out a good rhyme or when you rap along to his parts in songs

though with such busy schedules, you sing together more often than anything else

you both find a nice corner and he starts strumming the chords of his guitar and boom, magic

there are countless videos of you two singing together to the soft melody of the stringed instrument

one time you invited chenle (he always finds a way to bring it up during vlives) and he played the piano for you guys while you all sang a sweet love song

the amount of clips and memes made from your duets is immeasurable

you find one on your feed at least once a day 

sometimes you find cute aesthetic edits of screenshots where mark is giving you heart eyes while you sing, but most of the time they’re short videos of you and mark unintentionally being sexy while dancing or rapping 

the captions for those usually rant about you both being rude or disrespectful with the rare “i would let them ruin me” 

it always makes you guys feel super flustered in the beginning though you end up laughing it off like school girls and making the hard stan tweets into inside jokes

but all in all, mark just loves giving you the confidence he knows you deserve

“yo! dude, oh-ho shit! that’s my best friend! go best friend!”

==≎==

Renjun

you’d think renjun’s favorite thing to do with you is dance, or sing, maybe even draw

nope

honestly, people think you guys hate each other since you are rarely seen interacting

fans freak out when you give each other even the most simple skinship like a pat on the shoulder or put an arm around each other for a group picture

or when you happen to touch while posing for photoshoots

but what people don’t realize is that you and renjun are roommates at the dorms

neither of you sleeps in your own bed alone, ever

your room stays cold year-round so it’s better to give each other warmth under the safety of each other’s blankets, or at least that’s your agreed upon logic

so skinship is super common between you, though he doesn’t like to be all over you in public or in front of the other members because they love to tease

renjun’s absolute favorite thing, though he’d never admit it, is getting to stay up late with you, watching horror movies and having deep talks about time travel or aliens

he feels the safest when he is in your shared room with you, sitting on whoever’s bed seems the comfiest that day

it makes the stress of idol life melt away because he knows he can talk to you about anything

sometimes (these are your favorite moments) he gets very a little paranoid from a horror movie or is in a cuddly mood because he’s tired, and shyly asks to lay on your chest to listen to your heartbeat while you play with his hair

“can you maybe scratch my scalp?”

==≎==

Jeno

it’s no secret this boy is jacked, ripped, muscular, however you want to say it

so, it’s obvious he likes working out with you, right?

wrong

two words, video games

no matter how busy you two are, you always find time to play at least one round of some sort of video game

waiting for your stylists? just one look and you’re already pulling out your nintendo switch to play a few quick rounds

the winner of rock, paper, scissors gets to pick which game it is

which means you always get the choice and you always pick smash bros

things can get pretty heated between you both as well 

you both get very competitive when it comes to gaming together

you never yell at each other, only dance your hearts out when you get annoyed

fans find it funny because they know exactly when jeno lost and exactly when you lost before a stage

though you don’t always get upset 

you could never truly get upset with jeno and neither could he with you

he’s your puppy and your his teddy bear

jeno finds the growls you make when you’ve messed up super cute so he starts smiling

you find his samoyed eye crescents when he smiles terribly adorable so you obviously start smiling too

and, you both end up hanging off each other, nuzzling the other’s cheek and giggling like children

then maybe gag a little at each other for being so sweet

“you’re so cute! i can’t stand it!”

==≎==

Haechan

he’s the type to do the most

you know how he acts with taeil and mark? yeah, it’s at least ten times worse with you

lingering touches, flirty comments, pet names

the works

you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t even react anymore

oh, his arm’s around your waist? when did that get there? you can’t recall

his favorite thing to do is cuddle with you or when he’s feeling extra playful, he’ll wrestle with you

hyuck is almost always laying on you and/or looking at you like you’re the only person in the world though to all the members, you are their world

one vlive, you wanted to be a brat so you started spoiling something that was coming up which caused the guys to start yelling at you to stop

you didn’t

so next thing you knew, haechan was on top of you in two seconds flat, holding you down and covering your mouth

chaos ensued shortly after

you licked his hand and retaliated, leading you two to roll around on the floor while trying to pin the other 

jeno was laughing with chenle, who’s joyous dolphin laugh was almost drowned out by the sound of him flailing his arms and legs

jaemin was scolding you both, saying you were being too loud

jisung was trying to save hyuck from your wrath 

renjun was staring into the camera like he was on the office while sighing and shaking his head

when you all finally calmed down and started talking about what you were supposed to be, you and haechan were cuddling with him sitting between your legs and your arms around his waist

“yeobo~ your embrace is so warm!~ hold me forever!~”

==≎==

Jaemin

the domestic boyfriend we all know and love

so of course, he loves doing the little things with you

like grocery shopping, or waking up the other members when you all have early schedules to treat them to breakfast

homemade of course

his favorite thing to do with you is experiment with food and watch cooking shows, however, he prefers to watch holiday baking competitions to get ideas for treats to make for the other members

it’s almost always cookies

but if the boys are lucky, you and jaemin hunker down to bake a cake

after you wash your hands, he insists on tying your apron for you like a gentleman, but he expects you do it in return

always grabs your hands when you finish tying and pulls them forward to get you to back hug him 

you always comply and bury your face in his neck while mumbling something along the lines of “you’re welcome” to get him to either let go of you or regret having initiated the situation in the first place

contrary to popular belief, you both stay mostly clean throughout the whole process

unless the other members join and help, a.k.a. the cast of chenji’s this or that

jaemin always has to swipe something onto his son’s jisung’s cheek which makes the younger boy protest and fight back

chenle cackles childishly and wants to join, but once you wrap an arm around his shoulders and praise him for being mature, it instantly convinces him otherwise

he likes seeming mature and sophisticated in front of you

you get a rag to clean both of the messy boys up

jisung will protest every time, saying he can do it himself

jaemin gives him THAT look and he quickly lets you clean him up

will move to sit down for you to clean his face, just so he can have you stand between his knees and be in arms’ reach

the younger boys cringe when he gives you his signature fan-sign stare and rests his arms around your hips, asking for a kiss when you finish

will throw a fit if you don't peck his forehead

heart cookies are a must, jaemin will never not make cookies in the shape of hearts for you and the members

not valentine’s day? who cares, the cookies will always be hearts

“it’s how much i love you in the physical form of my sweetness!”

==≎==

Chenle

chenle: my nct bias is taeyong

you: *walks in the room*

chenle: taeyong who? i only know y/n

he’s literally your biggest fan

always finding reasons to call you or hang out with you

it is hard to find him without you or you without him

chenji’s this or that needs a special guest? always you, the managers and staff have no choice

you have a specific concept photoshoot with the older members? chenle is your plus one

again, the staff and managers have no choice

he is always talking about you like you’re some higher being

he loves video chatting you while you both go about your days

he likes being able to look over and see your face or having the subtle background noise of your breathing

will cry when you haven’t talked in five minutes a while

he’s that attached to you

usually, the one to call first, but when you call first he melts into a puddle of pure joy

his favorite thing to do with you: sitting 

together obviously 

though it doesn’t actually matter because if you aren’t around he’ll just call you to do the same thing

if you have your license, he will always ask if you guys could go for a drive and listen to music

but if you don’t, the couches at the dorm is just a good a place as any

he sits right next to you and usually holds onto your arm while resting his head on your shoulder

becomes so calm in your presence, people wonder if he’s sick or feeling sad

nope, he’s just relaxing with you after an eventful day

when he has to go home, he always whines and pouts. he almost throws a fit sometimes and you have to calm him down by promising to video chat him as soon as he gets home

asks his mom to let him stay the night a lot, though she rarely lets him

sometimes, when he does get to stay, he wedges himself between you and renjun in bed

renjun complains, but you shut him up quick

the bed is already pretty small as is, but you three make it work by snuggling up close to one another

chenle is in heaven because most times, both you and renjun wrap him up in your arms and he’s just sandwiched in a loving cuddle

the sounds of your shallow sleeping breaths give him the best sleep of his life

“never leave my side, y/n. i need you to relax.”

==≎==

Jisung

the sweetest boy for you

and only you

the other members get so petty when they see him trailing after you like a baby duckling after its parent

always commenting on how he can’t stay five feet from you ever 

though they’re literally the same way?

you may not treat jisung like your baby, but that doesn’t mean he’s not your baby

always right there when you’re cooking, waiting to be your taste-tester

when he’s feeling upset, you’re the first one he reaches for

always offering to help you when he thinks you need it

even if you don’t need it, he’ll still stand by you and watch you complete the task

that being said, his favorite thing to do with you are chores

your turn for laundry? there he is, struggling to fold the t-shirts

you want to tidy up the bedrooms? has a trash bag ready for you in his hands

his favorite chore is doing the dishes

to him, you make it so much fun

you share an airpod with him and turn on some hyped playlists to dance along to

you wash and he dries

the smile on his face never leaves

will laugh uncontrollably when you start messing around with the bubbles from the soap or sing into a pancake turner

sometimes you pull him away from drying for a quick duet

most of the time it’s you spinning him around and dipping him like they do in the movies

he’s such a graceful and talented dancer, but he becomes a flailing beanstalk blowing in the wind when you dance with him

always trying to get back to the job at hand, but you don’t let him until you’ve had your fill of dancing to the music

when you finish the dishes and put them away, you always give him a high five and a hug to thank him for helping you

you think that’s why he always comes back

“a-are you sure we can dance in the kitchen like this? yah, we might break something!”

[reincarneth-moved]

Extremely detailed character sheet template

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Damian Vernell Castelleve Reason or meaning of name: It all just sounded pretty together,,,,,, Character’s nickname: Dami-chan, Dami Reason for nickname: Just a shortened version of his first name, with an honorific Birth date: Unknown, claims it’s August 15

Physical appearance

Age: Approximately 3 million. How old does he/she appear: 26 Weight: 234 IBs Height: 6′8″ Body build: He’s tall and slender. Muscular, but not obviously so. Definitely looks kind of like a bean stalk. His legs are the most prominently muscular.  Shape of face: Oval shaped Eye color: Crimson, formerly an ice blue Glasses or contacts: None. Skin tone: According to this image, either dolce or toffee.  Distinguishing marks: His skin is unnaturally smooth. He looks more like a painting than a person. Predominant features: Large, pointed elf-like ears. Hair color: Black Type of hair: Thick, somewhere between wavy and curly, silky, soft.  Hairstyle: Goes down to the bottom of his neck/top of his shoulders. Voice: His voice is incredibly deep, with a soft rumble that’s almost like a purr. It lightens up when he’s cheery or joking. Very melodic. Overall attractiveness: Physically he’s like an 8/10, but personality-wise he’s like a 0/10. All in all, the experience is Bad. -2/10.  Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: Usually, he’s seen with his long, red cloak over him. If he’s not wearing that, you can find him wearing mori-style clothes. All in all, fashionably homeless is his aesthetic. Favorite outfit: As long as he has his cloak he’s good. Jewelry or accessories: An old locket chain with an engagement ring on it. It’s almost as old as he is.

Personality

Good personality traits: Funny (subjective), can be genuinely caring to those who form the right bonds with him, tries to stay optimistic (even if he fails), can give good advice he usually doesn’t follow himself, very social, very unapologetically himself. Bad personality traits: Obnoxious, has an addictive personality, focuses on sex too much, barely has a filter, drunk most of the time. Flip flops on his morals often. Very easily manipulated, gullible. Mood character is most often in: Cheery, chipper. Sense of humor: Morbid, cheesy, usually the first thing to come to mind. Character’s greatest joy in life: Sadly, alcohol. Character’s greatest fear: His old boss, the Lord of the Red Tides. The original Blood Mage who was responsible for destroying his world. After that is dogs and blood sucking insects like fleas, ticks and mosquitos.  Why? He’s afraid of dogs because he woke from a Living getting eaten by a pack of them once. He’s afraid of blood-sucking insects because they’re heavily associated with the Lord of the Red Tides. What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? His life can’t really get any worse than it already is. Being kidnapped and studied might throw him off for a while, but he would return to a sense of normalcy after a while. Character is most at ease when: When with someone he considers to be family. Most ill at ease when: When someone is being affectionate to him for no discernable reason. Enraged when: When he’s confused, being confronted for something hypocritical he did or going through withdrawals. OR when Dalet is brought up. Depressed or sad when: When he has time to think. Priorities: Having fun, finding distractions. Life philosophy: The past can’t be changed and the future can’t be predicted, so live in the present. If granted one wish, it would be: To have never become a Blood Mage. Why? So he could die with his family, not have to go through the trauma he did. Character’s soft spot: People who he considers to be family. His paternal instinct usually comes out around younger or troubled girls. Unofficially adopt,,,  Is this soft spot obvious to others? Probably. Greatest strength: His fierce protectiveness.  Greatest vulnerability or weakness: His lack of common sense and how easy he is to manipulate/trick. Biggest regret: Becoming a Blood Mage. Minor regret: Allowing himself to be possessed by Dalet. Biggest accomplishment: Graduating from college and getting to start his job at a law firm. Minor accomplishment: Surviving to his first Living.  Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: None, he’s absolutely shameless! Why? N/A Character’s darkest secret: He killed his fiance. Does anyone else know? I’m pretty sure only, like, 2 people know.

Goals

Drives and motivations: To return to a sense of normalcy. Immediate goals: Start up his business as a contract killer. Long term goals: Remove Dalet from his body. How the character plans to accomplish these goals: who knows?? I don’t, he certainly doesn’t.  How other characters will be affected: They gotta put up with him,,,,

Past

Hometown: Halbirn, Morstika Type of childhood: It was fairly normal - he was one of those kids that was quiet until you started talking to him. Very kind, caring, always someone you could vent to.  Pets: He used to have a dog and a cat. First memory: He doesn’t remember it anymore, he’s too old.  Most important childhood memory: He can’t recall it. Why: N/A Childhood hero: N/A Dream job: Lawyer. Education: A master's degree in Law. Religion: Polytheistic, the name and practices have been lost Finances: He used to be very responsible with his money, saved up and was very well off because of that and his well-paying job.

Present

Current location: Moves around a lot. Currently roaming around Japan. Currently living with: Dalet, technically. Pets: N/A Religion: He’s seen Gods and doesn’t like them. Occupation: Professional mooch, a contract killer. Finances: Struggling, for the most part, due to his alcohol addiction.

Family

Mother: Irina Castelleve Relationship with her: It was a healthy relationship, she is currently deceased. Father: Henri Castelleve Relationship with him: It was healthy, he is currently deceased. Siblings: Noémie, Beau, Sylvester, Amir Relationship with them: Noémie is deceased, Beau is also deceased (reanimated, Damian is not aware of this), Sylvester is deceased (descended to Foul, their relationship is somewhat strained), Amir is deceased (a ghost). Before the apocalypse, they were all fairly close.  Spouse: Natalya (former fiance).  Relationship with him/her: She’s dead. Children: N/A Relationship with them: N/A Other important family members: N/A

Favorites

Color: Teal Least favorite color: Yellow Music: Pop, Classical Food: Spicy or sweet foods. Literature: Classic literature, horror, cheesy romance Form of entertainment: Drinking, socializing Expressions: N/A Mode of transportation: Motorcycle, walking Most prized possession: An old engagement ring and chain.

Habits

Hobbies: Plays a musical instrument? Piano, possibly guitar (haven’t decided yet.) Plays a sport? No. How he/she would spend a rainy day: Staying in and reading, maybe visiting an acquaintance to spend time with them. Spending habits: Mostly spends his money on food, alcohol and occasionally drugs. Mostly alcohol. Smokes: On occasion. Drinks: Beer, Vodka, Whiskey, Rum... Other drugs: Occasional marijuana, ecstasy and cocaine use. What does he/she do too much of? Everything??? Everything. What does he/she do too little of? Taking care of himself, trying to understand other people. Extremely skilled at: Picking up emotional cues. Extremely unskilled at: Thinking through things logically. Nervous tics: Avoiding eye contact, running his hands through his hair, looking away. Usual body posture: A slight slouch. Mannerisms: Tilting his head, placing a hand in front of his chin, narrowing his eyes/squinting Peculiarities: Doesn’t seem to be familiar with or fond of casual, platonic touch. Also doesn’t seem to get that a lot of the things he does aren’t normal. 

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? He’s a bit of a daredevil to an extent. If he knows he’s angering something that could potentially kill him, he will back down. Logical or emotional? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? He’s very egotistical but is unsure of the direction his life is going, his morals/values and he’s not sure where he stands when it comes to other people.  Animal lover? Yes, but they hate him.

Self-perception

How he feels about himself: He thinks he’s better than humans, being a ‘superior’ sort of being. That being said, he used to be human himself, and he struggles with trying to reconcile that fact with what he’s become now.  One word the character would use to describe self: Awful. One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: ‘Damian Castelleve is an inhuman beast incapable of true compassion. There is not a single redeeming thing about his personality and looks will only get him so far. He’ll never understand why people put up with something so unnerving. At least he’s nice to look at.’ What does the character consider his best personality trait? He would consider how social he is to be his best trait. What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? He’s not a fan of how easily he tends to like people. It makes him more merciful if he needs to kill them.  What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? He finds his eyes to be the best thing about him. What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? His height. It’s inconvenient and unnatural. How does the character think others perceive him: He’s pretty sure 90% of the people he meets don’t like him.  What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: Nothing, he’d be content rotting away just as he is.

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: He thinks everyone is pretty much trash? There is no such thing as a good person in his eyes. This goes for himself as well. That being said, he does try to see the good in people, even if he thinks they’re mostly bad. Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Sometimes he tries, but he’s incredibly bad at it. His emotions and opinions become obvious in other ways. Person character most hates: Dalet, the spirit/golem that possessed his body. Best friend(s): He wouldn’t consider anyone his best friend. Love interest(s): None, he’s aromantic Person character goes to for advice: Konstantin, when he’s available. If not, Dalet.  Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Mimi ( @shinkuraun​), Rima ( @bojoukken​), Masako ( @sukiban​) Person character feels shy or awkward around: Any beautiful woman t b h Person character openly admires: Other, older Blood Mages. Person character secretly admires: The Lord of the Red Tides. Most important person in character’s life before story starts: His family. After story starts: Himself.

[the-best-bread]

I’m going to go on a ramble here and I’m putting it under a cut since I figured out how to do that and I have many words for the void.

If you actually read all of it thank you for taking the time to join the void in listening to my ramble, if not have a great day :)

Nuclear Families

Ok so the idea of nuclear families isn’t a bad one- a mom and dad raise a couple kids- but when society makes this the only acceptable way to have a family I begin to have a problem for a few reasons.

Gay marriage is a thing that doesn’t work with the nuclear family ideal because it’s two moms or two dads (or nb peeps)

About half of my friends don’t want their own kids. Whether that means pets, adoption, helping their friends raise kids or none of the above, with maybe the exception of adopting none of that fits the box

While currently the norm is two people get married and have a place of their own what’s wrong with having family or friends live with them? You can split the cost of living, daily chores are easier because there’s more hands to do them, and you can always have help if you need it when your spouse can’t help

Not all relationships are two people. Open relationships where one person has someone their dating in addition to their spouse are a thing. Sometimes there’s three people dating instead of just two, and I know there’s other circumstances but I don’t know them all and I don’t feel like typing more currently

Physical Affection

So I’ve talked about this before but it’s been a while so I’m going to say it again. We should make physical affection more normalized. For example, for many people a hug when you see a friend you haven’t seen in a while is normal, and the closer the friendship maybe the more you hug. And then you date someone and now all of the sudden you’ve opened this can of worms and you get to do the cuddles, the making out, the hand holding, maybe even the sex if you feel like it. The thing is tho, and I know I can’t be the only one who is like this, I don’t have much of an interest in dating, but I need the contact.

I’ve been almost dating someone before, we just had to decide to make it official that we were dating not just going on dates, and I realized that I wasn’t attracted to them in any way other than platonically but it was a source of physical affection. When i realized that I felt like I had just been using them, even though it had been false attraction from them liking me and me liking their hugs. (It took me a few days cause I didn’t want to hurt them but I did break things off when I realized).

Anyway let’s get off that tangent. What I was trying to say with that was that I wish physical affection between friends was more common. Now I’m lucky, my best friend also likes it, (or she’s at least ok with it but I think she likes it) so I now have a chance to get that contact in a healthy way. Like hugs are one of my favorite things ever. Holding hands is even better, like yeah we’re just walking around but it’s a good way to be connected, or stay together if it’s crowded, or oh hey she stopped to look at a thing and I didn’t notice but my hand stopped moving. Cuddles- don’t even get me started. Taking a nap with friends and snuggling because you are comfortable with each other or the beds a twin sized bed but you guys accidentally fell asleep and there’s literally nothing else you can do, or laying on the floor shoulders touching watching vines laughing until you hurt, or whatever is just so nice and lovely. And cheek kisses are nice too but I’m a lot newer to that so I’m not going to go off about them yet.

If you get nothing else from this, take away that we should normalize physical contact between friends and not make it a couples only thing. It makes so many people feel lonely and often people don’t make the best decisions when they’re lonely so it’s for the best anyway but also it’s fun when you’re not doing it just because you finally can since you’re dating someone.

Being Asexual (and Aromantic but it’s newer to me so I’m not as familiar)

Ok so I think I’m aroace- I’m not sure but that label feels right so I’m running with it for now. The thing is almost no one outside of the lgbtq community has ever heard of asexual let alone aromantic. I don’t mind explaining it and answering questions for people but it gets really tedious when I always have to instead of people having a basic understanding. I don’t even really come out anymore- I’m not in the closet I just don’t talk about it.

I wish it was talked about as much as being a lesbian or gay or bi, and I wish all of those were talked about more in general. Maybe if I knew what asexual was when I was younger I wouldn’t have thought I was broken. Maybe I wouldn’t have watched porn when I was way too young to try to fix myself even though all it did was make me uncomfortable, feel disgusted in myself, and want a sexual relationship even less. Maybe I wouldn’t have spent hours online trying to figure out why I didn’t want relationships like everyone else my age, only to one day accidentally stumble into the word ‘asexual’ and finally realize maybe there were other people as broken as me. The thing is though at that point I had so much internalized aphobia I couldn’t accept that I was broken. I had a word, I had a community, but I couldn’t get myself to accept it. I was just happy to know there were other broken people out there who also didn’t necessarily want conventional relationships.

This discovery happened in freshman year, when I was 14. It took me until I had been 18 for a few months to actually start to accept myself and realize maybe I wasn’t as broken as I kept telling myself. I would tell others I wasn’t broken, but I didn’t believe the words I was saying. Now I regret the decisions I’ve made, mostly the one to try and date just to be normal, but there are others too. In a way I still loathe myself but it’s for the things I’ve done rather than being ‘broken’. When I was in elementary school it was still an insult to call someone a lesbian, at least at my school, but by middle school it wasn’t. Imagine if in eighth grade health class they actually taught us about sex and various lgbtq identities. Imagine a world where little kids don’t grow up thinking they’re broken, that’s a world I want to live in.

The other thing is, I’ve avoided calling myself aromantic for so long because I wouldn’t accept it. I knew I had some other sort of attraction that wasn’t sexual so obviously it was romantic right? No not really. For me when I get a crush on someone it usually just means cuddling with them sounds nice. That’s it. Yes I’d want to go on dates too but to me those just seem like you’re eating dinner with a good friend idk. Personally I don’t think that’s considered romantic attraction. But I didn’t want to say I was aromantic because what other attraction was there. I didn’t know, and I’m still not sure what to call it but hey now I’ve at least let myself accept it.

Queerplatonic Relationships

So QPR’s if you don’t know fall somewhere between friendship and dating. They’re not really romantic but they sometimes feel like they are or look that way from the outside, at least from my understanding of them. The tangent I’m going on here is I have a friend I would love to have this with, but I’m afraid to open that topic to her because I’m afraid she’ll flat out reject it and then have things get awkward between us. And there’s the whole side of she has a boyfriend and I know she would never consider having a non-monogamous relationship, so would she even consider it or would she see it as cheating? I don’t know. I wish I did but I’m too nervous to ask her about it. We already have a relationship that’s basically a QPR but without the name and having decided that we have something a little more than friendship.

Also I feel like QPR’s are a good way for aroaces to still have relationships and partners if they want but not have it be the whole conventional dating thing. I wish this option was talked about a bit more too rather than a small thing that you chance upon one day as you’re flicking thru the internet.

[whycantihavemorethan32characters]

Sweet Child O’ Mine

@just-get-all-the-butterflies

Pairings: Platonic moxiety

Trigger warnings: gun violence, death, blood, gunshot wound, homophobia, angst. Oh so much angst. No happy ending, it’s just sad

AUs: Human AU

Word Count: 2120

   They heard heavy breathing in the distance, Patton immediately perking up and looking through the trees, trying to find the source of the noise. “Virgil! Kiddo! Is that you?!” he called out, desperately hoping for a reply. The others followed suit, yelling until their lungs were about to burst and their vocal chords felt like they could tear in half. It was the middle of the night, Logan having lost his glasses, and Patton not being able to see through his tears, Roman was leading the group, being the eyes for both of them. Luckily, those eyes had 20/20 vision, because he suddenly stopped the group in favor of staring at the ground.

   “What is it? Why did you stop?” Logan’s confused tone echoed through the empty park. “There’s-there’s footprints. I think” He crouched down, and tried to feel for a break in the dirt, or whatever was causing the dark ovular shape on the path. His fingers felt liquid. He hoped and prayed that it was just water. That he had just stuck his hand in a small puddle. But it was sticky, and warm, and half congealed. Water doesn’t usually congeal.

Three hours earlier

   Pride was almost over. It was 8:00 pm sharp, and the boys were about ready to head home. Roman wanted to stay out all night drinking and celebrating...well, himself. However, Logan deemed it unwise, Virgil deemed it unsafe, and Patton was practically falling asleep where he stood. He had been up all night baking rainbow cakes, and pancakes, and cupcakes, and virtually any other thing with the word “cake” in it. After much persuasion, Roman conceded and they started to get back in the car, Roman in shotgun, Logan driving, Virgil and Patton in the backseat.

   “Virgil, are you showing Patton more of that PG-13 music again?” Roman loved to tease Virgil for his music tastes, as if listening to Broadway and Disney 24/7 was normal. “No,” Virgil sneered, “Patton’s pretty much out cold.” Logan began to pull out of his parking space, leaving the festivities behind. “Well that’s good. A proper sleeping schedule is im-” He was cut off by a strange, almost explosion-like sound from far away. “What was that?!” Virgil’s eyes immediately went wide in fear. “Probably just fireworks.” Roman explained it away. “People set them off all the time, it’s fine.”

   “Yeah.” Logan agreed. “Fireworks.” Patton had been woken up by the sound and Virgil was trying to console him, even though he himself was obviously in a state of panic. He was trying to do his breathing exercises and was furiously pulling his sleeve zipper up and down. It was noticeable that Logan was driving just slightly above the speed limit, which he had never done, and vowed never to do. The sound came again, but louder, ergo closer this time. The car in front of them crashed.

11:05

   “Pa-.” Patton heard from what sounded like just a few yards way. Immediately, he started sprinting towards the noise, leaving the other two behind. They ran after him, but halted at the scene before them. Patton was on his knees, leaning over a bleeding Virgil who was breathing much too heavily. Patton looked down at him, sobbing and trying to put pressure on the wound. Virgil grabbed his wrist and made eye contact. He started singing, soft and high, which was unusual seeing as he was always so self conscious about his voice.

   “I did exactly as you said, pa. I held my head up high.” Patton recognized the melody and sang the accompanying part. “I know, I know. You did everything just right.” He sniffled. “But now isn’t the time for Hamilton.” Virgil chuckled, and winced at the discomfort in his torso, “Nah,” he whispered, shaking his head. “More like Guns N’ Roses.” He lifted both their hands and peeked at the bloody bullet wound.

Three hours earlier

   Logan swerved onto the sidewalk, almost crashing the car into a tree, but narrowly avoiding the accident in front of them. They all hopped out of the car to see what was going on. That noise, which had been confirmed to be a gunshot, kept repeating. People were screaming, police sirens were wailing, and the four held onto each other tightly, Patton now fully awake and praying that his friends would be safe, swearing to himself to take a bullet for them if need be. The other three were doing the same.

   “Okay. Um, everyone back in the car. We need to leave, now.” Logan opened Roman’s door and went around to his side. Patton took Virgil by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. “I need you to try to stay calm, alright? I know it’s scary; I’m scared too. But you need to hold your head up high and get through this, okay?” Virgil nodded, the rest of him convulsing in fear. “Patton, we need to go now! Get in the-”

   A bullet just narrowly missed Roman, nestling itself into the hood of the car. Virgil spooked at the loud noise and danger, immediately bolting in the opposite direction, into a thickly wooded park. Patton screamed his name and ran after him; Logan tried to get out of the car, only to trip in his frantic haze and fall face forward, smashing his glasses and causing his nose to bleed. Roman picked him up and started running with him towards Patton, who was a few yards ahead of them, Virgil just a speck in the distance.

11:13

   Logan covered his mouth, understanding what was going on even though he couldn’t see it. Roman started crying rageful tears, kicking the bushes and trees. “Who? Who did it? Virgil, did you see?!” He yelled into the otherwise vacant woods. “No. He ran past me. Some skinhead with shitty tattoos.” Patton continued to try to comfort him. “Shh, shh. Okay, it’s okay, kiddo. Just keep breathing, And stay awake. You’re gonna be okay.” He took Virgil into his arms, sitting them upright, and getting blood on his clothes and hands. “Liar liar” Virgil started, in between coughs, “pants on fire, Popstar.”

   Roman knelt down next to them and pet Virgil’s hair. “Hold on, hot topic. Just for a little longer. Logan’s calling 911, just stay with us for a little longer. Hold on.” The wounded man smiled. “Aww, you think i’m hot.” Roman smiled back and continued to comfort him. Logan kneeled, trying to pry Virgil from Patton as to see the wound better. “Patton, we need to put pressure on the wound. I need you to let go so I can help.” Patton laid Virgil down on the ground and Logan winced at the state of just Virgil’s shirt, let alone his bare abdomen. Even though it was blurry, he could tell the copious amount of blood was mixed with sand and dirt. He borrowed Patton’s glasses and assessed the situation.

   “Roman, you have a water bottle, right? Or alcohol of some sort? There’s dirt everywhere, and it’s just going to make this worse.” Roman nodded, getting his water bottle and handing it to Logan, who then lifted Virgil’s shirt to see the mess of dirt, sweat, and blood cluttering a gaping bullet wound. “I am by no means a doctor,” Logan began, “but I’m trying to go on common sense here, along with what medical knowledge I may have. And I would suppose that making sure the wound is clean and putting pressure on it would be two very high priorities.” He poured the water over Virgil’s torso, and watched as the muscles squirmed underneath the skin in pain, dirt, sweat, and dried blood giving way to pale skin and fresh, liquid crimson pouring from the lesion.

   “Who has a cloth? Preferably a steril one.” Patton pulled his rainbow beach towel from his tote bag, almost dropping it. “How about this?” Logan nodded, and held out his hand. Patton tossed it with perfect accuracy, and Logan put it on Virgil, pressing down hard. “Just try to breath, Virgil. The ambulance will be here in ten minutes. Deep breaths, please try to regulate your respiratory system.”

Three hours earlier

   The three of them had made it into the small patch of forest, Logan refusing to use his flashlight to conserve battery so they could call someone, and desperately looking for Virgil in the dark. Logan couldn’t see that well and was having to breathe through his mouth, Patton was stumbling over every other root and stone, and Roman was trying to apply what he and Logan remembered from being  boy scouts together, seeing if they could maybe track Virgil, even in the dark.

   To their mutual horror and heartbreak, another gunshot ripped through the air. It came from the forest this time instead of the road. A familiar “Agh” and accompanying groan fell on the group’s ears.“Virgil!” Patton screamed, tripping his way along the crude path towards the sound.

   Meanwhile, Virgil had doubled over in pain at the same spot, now on his knees, crawling in the dark and clutching his side, searching for safety. The adrenaline was still running on high, pumping through his body at an alarming rate, dulling the pain and distracting him from his friends, who he heard shouting in the distance. Eventually, he just slumped up against a tree in a patch of dirt, looking at his blood stained shirt. One of his hands was caked in moist black dirt, and he could see the blood he had left behind where grass and dirt met manufactured sand pathway. As the adrenaline rush dulled, the pain increased, and he groaned, pressing down with both hands at the splitting pain.

11:17

   Virgil was having water bottles pressed to his mouth, forcing him to take in as many fluids as possible. His shirt had been taken off and discarded, and Patton was behind him, holding him and crying. Just six minutes till the ambulance came. His friends were gathered around him, as if they were gathering around his corpse. He had a foreboding feeling, and for whatever reason, this vague emotion set his body and mind back into a state of panic. Death had the vantage point right now, and Virgil started hyperventilating at the thought.

   “Vir-Virgil. Calm down. Regulate your breathing, deep and slow. In for four, hold of seven, out for eight. Patton, please help him calm down.” Patton looked down at Virgil, holding his hand and trying his best to smile and be calming. “Virgil, we need you to breathe. What would help you breathe? Do you want me to sing, like after you have nightmares?” The panic-stricken man nodded, trying to slow his breathing the best he could, squeezing Patton’s hand, holding on for, literally, dear life.

   “Yes? Yes. Okay, I can sing for you. I can do that.” Patton took a deep breath, then started pouring out a soft, sweet melody. “He’s got a smile, it seems to me. Reminds me of childhood” he choked up “memories. Where everything. Was as fresh as the bright blue sky. Now and then when I see his face. He takes me away to that special place. And if I’d stare too long I’d probably break down and cry. Oh, oh, oh, sweet child o’ mine.” He paused and looked down, almost smiling, to see that Virgil’s eyes were closed, and Patton realized that he was no longer squeezing his hand. His face fell.

   “Virgil?” he patted the younger man’s cheek. “Virgil get up, you have to stay awake, remember? Remember you need to be awake until the ambulance gets here. Remember? Virgil?” Logan took one of his arms, and put two fingers against his wrist, then against his neck. Looking at Patton, he let one single tear roll down his cheek, and just stared at his friend. Patton rushed his ear to Virgil’s chest. What followed was the loudest silence to ever pierce his eardrum.

   He stopped breathing. He couldn’t breathe. He just looked into the distance, held Virgil tight in his arms, petting his hair, and rocking them both back and forth, singing all the while. “Oh, oh, oh, sweet child o’ mine.” He repeated the same phrase over and over again. “Oh, oh, oh, sweet child o’ mine.” Sirens sounded in the distance, and they could see flashing lights in their peripheral. “Oh, oh, oh, sweet child o’ mine.” Logan checked his watch. 11:24. The ambulance had taken eleven minutes to arrive.

      “Oh, oh, oh, sweet child o’ mine.”

[t-oresama]

“What is This Thing Called Love?” by Gene Wilder

Synopsis: For a romantic, it's life's ultimate question: What is this thing called love? Actor and novelist Gene Wilder explores twelve possible answers in this emotionally involving book about different kinds of love: star-crossed, intense, needy, eternal, unrequited, and even comical... With delicacy of feeling and a simple style that adds to the power of his fiction, Wilder creates memorable lovers and silly suitors, unexpected attraction and careful courting. What is This Thing Called Love? is for anyone who has ever yearned for a deep connection, made a study of love, and spent their life trying to find the real thing.

Published: 2010 (St. Martin's Press) Genre: Fiction, Short Story, Romance Rating: 3 out of 5 Reader Review: It's time for another one of my "I have at least a dozen books on my shelf to read, but I work at a library and came across this one with a thought-provoking title so let's read this book instead!" choices! Obviously, this isn't the first time I've read and subsequently reviewed books like this, and it certainly won't be the last (if the holds list on my library account is any indication). However, there are two things that set this book apart from my previous choices: 1) This time, it wasn't the cover that made me check it out, but the author, who is the star of "Young Frankenstein" and "Blazing Saddles" AND Mr. Willy Wonka himself, Gene Wilder, and 2) It is a pick based around circumstance. In my nearly 26 years of life, I'd been fortunate to have all 4 grandparents alive and in my life. But in October, I lost my grandfather. I got to see him on his deathbed and say my goodbyes, but there's something about seeing him barely lucid, significantly skinnier and just so unlike himself that put things into perspective for me. So I checked out this book, a light read clocking in at 160 pages, hoping that the discussion of love and loss could help me out through my own similar feelings.

There are 12 short stories in this book, as they are all meant to be standalone stories; interestingly enough, there are 3 stories that do have reoccurring characters with stories that could connect, but more on that later. As advertised in the synopsis, Mr. Wonka... I mean, Mr. Wilder does have a simplistic style of writing, and for a series of short stories that range from 6 to 22 pages, this style has hit and miss results. What the longer of the stories lack in a detail-oriented narrator or intricate descriptions, it makes up for in more pages used to convey such intricacies in other ways, and to develop the characters. For the short stories with short page lengths, this simple style leaves you wanting more. Sometimes, the subjects and subject matter work well with this simplicity, and sometimes they just feel unfinished. Almost all of his stories start where the climax would normally occur (ending on a new love found, on a question, on a scene of someone leaving someone else, etc.), in a quite abrupt matter. It, too, has mixed results, but it is clearly Wilder's style to leave something more to be desired to the reader; I think there was maybe 3 or 4 stories with the typical "finished" ending. Wilder is nothing if not concise on his straight-to-the-point manner of writing.

I read this book doing something I don't normally do: I went into it looking for something. I wanted to read about real(istic) people with real(istic) problems, and, ultimately, to find the answer to the question posed on the book's cover. And Wilder does answer this question in the vast amounts of pairings, scenarios, settings and trials he constructs for them. The types of love are all bound by a common romantic thread, sometimes straying into a friendship or platonic, but in every story, there is someone who (whether they intend to in the beginning or not) is seeking romantic love. This aspect was somewhat disappointing because I was looking forward to loves like the love of a best friend, a familial love, or even one of that between a pet and its owner. After all, the word "love" does exist in all capacities outside of the romantic, and we live in a day and age where saying we "love" someone in a non-romantic way is very common. But alas, the only bonds forged outside of this (attempted) romantic love are based around romantic love, through people non-romantic interests talking about it, or one experiencing another go through love. 

As for the portrayal of this romantic love only, Wilder does end up portraying virtually every kind of love there is... to an extent. Wilder's protagonists never seem to exceed the age of about 50 or so, and the only uses of teens in love is when they're in "adult" settings (not in school or other typical teen situations). This could be intentional to make it more relatable to the average age of the reader, and not every story calls for there to list the ages of the characters explicitly in order for the plot to make sense. There are some stories where the ages play a big role ("The Kiss" has a 16-year-old girl fall in love with a 24-year-old boy, only to "fall in love" with a different boy and run off with him to another town, and "Tango Without Music" has a couple married for 23 years on the brink of divorce because the husband has lost his passion for pretty much everything), but the majority of stories have characters that are stubborn, aloof, naive, prideful, or varying other negative qualities that could be applicable to any age. Wilder also does well with the settings and time periods, with vast ranges of times in the mid-1900s up to the early 2000s, and in an array of locations in the US. He even plays with the love of an American and a foreigner, such as a Ukrainian and a Japanese, so the limits set in stories due to age are expansive in other ways such as this.

Now, unlike past reviews, I don't want to analyze all 12 stories, but rather, I want to keep it short and sweet, like Wilder, and talk about my favorites and not-so-favorites, and expand on those. One story I find myself going back to is the aforementioned "The Kiss". When the girl, Becky, skips town with a new boy, her despondent and starving artist ex, Robert, ends up in front of Becky's house, where her father begrudgingly takes him in and gives him a meal. From there, they unexpectedly bond over their respective heartbreak over Becky leaving them with little notice, as well as games of chess. It's a great change of pace from the other stories because it highlights a bond that isn't romantic, and since it's one of the long-short stories, you get to see that develop and play out in a steady progression with inserts of backstory and little moments. The romantic story is one I ended up enjoying as well, but only because I got to know the characters. As I mentioned before, there are 3 stories that have 2 reoccurring characters that I ended up really liking as well. The stories, "The Birthday", "My Old Flame", and "The Hollywood Producer", center around two friends, Buddy and Sonny, who are middle-aged men that frequently go out for lunch while Buddy divulges his women problems to Sonny. Sonny acts as a semi-impartial character that the audience can relate to, showing a lot of care for his longtime friend, but also knowing about his vices and inability to really relate to women. These stories turn out to be the most vivid and interesting of the bunch, and it may not be by coincidence. In Wilder's dedication page, he actually dedicates the book to Buddy, Wilder's cousin in real life, going on to write that Buddy "inspired three of these stories. When he was alive he really wanted love, but settled only for sex." And that characterization of Buddy rings absolutely true in his 3 stories. They provide a sort of dark comic relief from the heavier stories, and while Buddy's struggles are sometimes deserving of a sad or sympathetic reaction, he's just such an out-there and boisterous character that Wilder makes it feel like it's okay for us to laugh at his misfortune. I can only imagine what the real Buddy would've said about these stories...

There are some stories I wasn't overly fond of, but none of them were really due to the constraints Wilder put on himself in keeping these stories "short". One casualty is "The Anniversary", a story about a man meeting his wife at their favorite restaurant for their anniversary dinner, only to be reminded by the waiter that his wife has been dead for a few months. Yeah, it's that cliche tug-at-your-heartstrings storyline, and it is unjustly the shortest short story of the collection at 6 pages. There's some backstory about the man/narrator's wife, her beauty, what she means to him, but it doesn't get the chance to expand past just exposition. It could have been something less contrived if more words and pages were dedicated to it, but it just feels like a quick story to cover the "longing love" subset of love. "Passion", which also happens to be the last story in the book, meets a similar fate. As the name implies, it's supposed to depict the story of a passionate couple, who meet as driver and client, but end up intensely connecting through their love of art and... intensely having sex in nearly every scene thereafter. I could actually see the connection between them, but it was budding, and none of it justified the insatiable lust they had for each other once they established their mutual like of each other. The simplistic writing describes what is going on right in front of you, but doesn't really delve into their innermost thoughts and desires in order to justify this intense connection. The sex scenes suffer the most, as they are short and pop up out of nowhere and, conversely, come off as very passionless. It was a story set up to succeed, but failed by execution.

The writing style is my core reason for the 3/5 rating. There are some stories that are true winners, but those are either the ones with more than 15 pages dedicated to their plight or the ones that have some sort of comic relief that doesn't need a whole lot of detail and exposition. I know with 12 stories, not every one of them is going to be a winner, but they all had potential, and the ones that didn't live up to that were more disappointing than ones that are doomed to fail from the start in other stories. Not all of my expectations were met, and that could be on me for not being in many relationships so I can better understand the different kinds of love portrayed or just expecting more from the start, or it could be on Wilder. But it's certainly worth a read. Wilder has a few other novels out that I'd check out just to see what he can do with a couple hundred pages dedicated to just one story, because he's clearly very capable of storytelling and world-building. Overall, though, I do feel like I got the reprieve from real life that I needed by diving into what is usually a loaded question, done in a tasteful and thoughtful way, and I have my grandpa and Gene Wilder to thank for that.

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Also, because I had to rewrite this review THREE TIMES because Tumblr doesn’t let you leave the page for 10 minutes without refreshing and not saving, I made a backup archive-ish blog for my book reviews called Tory Reads (And Reviews). It is bare and I haven’t actually archived anything on there yet, but it’s there just for my reference... and now yours, too! :D