#obviously not everyone and the criticism is still legitimate; we should be able to keep cutscenes like this forever

[thefirstknife]

I think the reason people are saying that scene should have been in Lightfall's campaign is because it's so incredibly vital to the story and anybody who isn't around for, can't afford, or skips seasonal content is missing such a hugely important scene. Which is actually a fair criticism of the entire seasonal model, which makes the game a lot less accessible for new players unless they're capable of doing hours of research and sitting around watching videos to get the story (which, for a *game* people do for fun is a lot to ask and a large turnoff for a fair few people). I agree that as is, the scene wouldn't have fit in the expansion we actually got--but I can see the complaint that they should have structured the campaign in a way that included this information. (Though some people are being very rude in how they give the criticism)

Yeah, I agree with that. I think a better way to go about it is to continuously ask for a way to preserve seasonal content (at least some of it) in the game. As of right now, a lot of some of the most crucial events in the game happened in seasons that can no longer be played and can only be viewed online. Bungie even started uploading all seasonal content officially to their youtube for people to be able to see, but that just makes us go back to the days of D1 where crucial lore was online instead of the game. Obviously in this case, a whole seasonal story mission with cutscenes is probably harder to keep in the game than lore tabs but you know.

A really good way would be to make use of the in-game timeline feature and expand on it. Make the timeline more in-depth, add more menus so that you can click to see more about a season and have menus that allow you to access and rewatch seasonal cutscenes and officially made summaries done with the in-game engine (something like the summary made as an intro to the Season of the Deep). Summarise a season with more information and let us rewatch cutscenes as a part of the timeline feature.

Best case scenario would be to grab most important seasonal gameplay missions, pack them into mini replayable missions and drop them in a Legends tab where people can go to check out past content and replay it themselves. This doesn't have the involve the full seasonal content obviously, because the seasonal activities and environments are gone, but a lot of those were not open world instances anyway. Saving Saint is entirely in a separate environment.

Obviously, all of this is a lot of work and, depending on the engine and other issues, may not even be possible. At least not right now. It would be nice though, especially the second option.

For now, I think we'll be stuck with youtube-only content which isn't the worst, but it's definitely inaccessible and it's not ideal. I'm sure that Bungie will keep the summary of this knowledge in the same way they summarised a lot of other stuff recently as intros to campaigns and seasons. Hell, TFS teaser included a summary of the last few years of the story and that was 40 seconds long. They will not just like... completely forget to mention this ever again.

Definitely the best thing would be to make sure that this cutscene will be viewable in-game. I hope that at some point they'll make this possible. It's the core issue of this whole problem and I wish people focused on that instead of saying that this should've just been a part of the campaign or that it would've "fixed" all of Lightfall when that's simply not true and also would not make sense. But do I wish for this cutscene to remain in the game forever? Absolutely. We desperately need the timeline feature to actually offer a substantial look at the timeline and content of past seasons, including cutscenes.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Dark”

Welcome back, everyone! Can you believe it's been six weeks already? I can't. Something something the uncomfortable passage of time during a pandemic as emphasized by a web-series.

But we're here to talk about RWBY the fictional story, not RWBY the cultural icon. At least, we will in a moment. First, I'd like to acknowledge that shaky line between the two, growing blurrier with every volume. A sort of good news, bad news situation.

The bad news — to get that out of the way — is that we cannot easily separate RWBY from its authors and those authors have, sadly, been drawing a lot of negative attention as of late. This isn't anything new, not at all, but I think the unexpectedly long hiatus gave a lot of fans (myself included) the chance to think about Rooster Teeth's failings without getting distracted by their biggest and brightest production. There's a laundry list of problems here — everything from the behavior of voice actors to the quality of their merch — but as a sort of summary issue, I'd like to highlight the reviews that continue to pop up on websites like Glassdoor, detailing the toxic, sexist, crunch-obsessed environment that RT employees are forced to work in. A lot of these websites requires a login to read more than a page of reviews, but you can check out a Twitter thread about it here. 

Now, I want to be clear: I'm not bringing this up as a way to shame anyone enjoying RWBY. This isn't a simplistic claim of, "The authors are Problematic™ and therefore you can't like the stuff they produce." Nor is this meant to be a catch-all excuse for RWBY's problems. If it were, I'd have dropped these recaps years ago. I'm of the belief that audiences maintain the right to both praise and criticize the work they're given, regardless of the context in which that work was produced. At the end of the day, RT has presented RWBY as a finished product and, more than that, presents it as an excellent product, one worth both our emotional investment and our money (whether in the form of paying for a First account, or encouraging us to buy merch, attend cons, etc.) I'll continue to critique RWBY as needed, but I a) wanted fans to be at least peripherally aware of these issues and b) clarify that my use of "RT" in statements like, "I can't believe RT is screwing up this badly" is meant to be a broad, nebulas acknowledgement that someone in the company is screwing up, either creatively (doesn't have the skill to write a good scene) or morally (hasn't created an environment in which other creators are capable of crafting a good scene). The real, inner workings of such companies are mostly a secret to their audiences and thus it's near impossible for someone like me — random fan writing these for fun as a casual side hobby — to accurately point fingers. Hence, broad "RT." I just wanted to clarify that when I use this it's as a necessary placeholder for whoever is actually responsible, not a damnation of the overworked animator breaking down in a bathroom. Heavy stuff, but I thought it was necessary (or at least worthwhile) to acknowledge this issue as we head into the second half of the volume.

Now for the good news: RWBY has reached 100 episodes! For any who may not know, 100 is a pretty significant number in the TV world because, when talking about prime time programming, it guarantees syndicated reruns. Basically, networks don't want audiences to get burned out with a show — changing the channel when it comes on because ugh, I've seen this already, recently too — and 100 episodes allows for a roughly five month run without any repeats, making it very profitable. RWBY is obviously not a television show and doesn't benefit from any of this (hell, modern television doesn't benefit from this as much as it used to, not in the age of streaming), but the 100 episode threshold is still ingrained in American culture. Beyond just being a nice, rounded number, it is historically a measure of huge success and I can't imagine that RT isn't aware of that. Regardless of what we think of RWBY's current quality, this is one hell of a milestone and should be applauded.

All that being said... RWBY's quality is definitely still lacking lol.

Our 100th episode is titled "Dark" — keeping with the one word titles, then — and I'd like to emphasize that, as a 100th episode, it definitely delivers in terms of plot. There's plenty of action, important character beats, and at least one major reveal, everything we'd expect from a milestone and a Part II premiere. The animation also continues to be noteworthy for its beauty, as I found myself admiring many of the screenshots I took for this recap. There are certainly things to praise. The only problem (one we're all familiar with by now) is that these small successes are situated within a narrative that's otherwise falling apart. It's all good stuff... provided you ignore literally everything else surrounding it.

But let's dive into some examples. We open on Qrow starting, awoken by the thunder outside. Robyn has been watching him and makes a peppy comment about how none of them will be sleeping tonight, followed by a more serious, "Sounds bad out there." Yeah, it does sound bad, especially when they all know — thanks to Ruby's message back in Volume 7 — that this is due to Salem's arrival. I think a lot of the fandom has forgotten that little detail because people often discuss Qrow as if he is entirely ignorant of what is going on outside his cell. Even if we were to assume that he's forgotten all about the pesky Salem issue (the horror of Clover's death overriding everything else, perhaps) he still knows that Tyrian is running loose in a heat-less city with a creepy storm going on and, from his perspective, the Very Evil Ironwood is still running the show. So it's bad, which begs the question of why Qrow (and Robyn, for that matter) hasn't displayed an ounce of legitimate worry for everyone he knows out there. Thus far, their interactions have centered entirely around Qrow's misplaced blame and Robyn's terrible attempts to lighten the mood, despite the fact that a war is raging right beyond that wall. It's another example of RWBY's inability to manage tone properly, to say nothing of balancing the multiple concerns any one character should be trying to juggle. Just as it rankles that Ruby and Yang don't seem to care about what has happened to their uncle, Qrow likewise doesn't seem to care about what might be happening to his nieces. When did we reach a point where these relationships are so broken that someone can be arrested/chucked into a deadly battle and the others just... ignore that?

So Robyn's otherwise innocuous comment immediately reminds me of how badly the narrative has treated these conflicts and, sadly, things don't improve much from here. We are thankfully spared more of Robyn's jokes when Qrow realizes that what he's hearing can't be thunder. A second later, Cinder blasts through the wall — called it! — and Qrow instinctively transforms. 

The only downside to this moment is that the whole ceiling falls down on Qrow and the others because APPARENTLY these cells don't have tops on them. Seriously. As far as I can recall we don't see the stone breaking through the forcefield somehow and this looks pretty open to me.

If it is... you're telling me these crazy powerful fighters who practice landing strategies and leap tall buildings in a single bound —

— can't just hop over this mildly high electric fence to get out? Qrow can't just fly away?

We're, like, two minutes in, folks.

We transfer to Nora's perspective as she wakes up, seeing Klein giving her the IV. He tells her not to worry, that "you and your friend are going to be just fine." What friend? Penny? Klein went upstairs prior to Weiss hugging Whitley or Penny crash landing outside. I had thought them bursting through the door with another unconscious friend was the first time he learned what the big bang outside was, but apparently not.

Penny is, obviously, a mess. While I now understand the choice to make her blood such an eye-catching color when that's crucial to the Hound's hunt, I still think it looks strange visually. Like someone has taken a copy of RWBY and painted over it. It doesn't look like it fits the art style. More than that, it implies some rather complicated things about Penny's humanity, especially in a volume focused around her being a "real girl." Real enough for Maiden powers, but with obviously inhuman blood that isn't even referred to as "bleeding." Penny "leaks" instead.

Toss in the fact that she's literally an android who is made up of tech — recall the running gags about her being heavy, or it hurts to fist-bump her, to say nothing of keeping things like multiple blades inside her body — yet Klein says that her "basic anatomy" is the same and he can "stitch up that wound."

I'm sorry, what? Whatever Penny looks like on the inside, it's not going to resemble a human woman's anatomy, and Klein might be able to stitch the outer layer of skin she's got, but that won't do anything to fix whatever metal bits have been broken underneath. Penny isn't a human-robot hybrid, she's a robot with an aura. Penny has knives in her back, rockets in her feet, and a super computer behind her eyes. When our clip introduced that Klein would be the one to help Penny, my initial reaction was, "Seriously? He's a butler and a doctor and an engineer?" But RWBY didn't even try to get away with a Super Klein explanation, they just waved away Penny's very obvious, inhuman anatomy. Yeah, I'm sure "stitching up" an android wound is just like giving Nora her IV. I hope the surgical sutures he used are extra strong!

In an effort to not entirely drag this episode, I do appreciate that Whitley is allowed an "ugh" moment about the non-blood covering his shirt without anyone calling him out on it. That felt like the sort of thing the show would usually try to make a character feel guilty about and I'm glad that, for once, he was just allowed to be frustrated without comment.

Then the power goes out and May calls, which raises questions about what state the CCTS is in and when scrolls are available to our protagonists vs. when they're not. But whatever. She's checking in because she just "saw another bombing run light up the Kingdom" and —

Wait. Bombing? Salem is bombing the city? I know we've seen explosions in the sky, but I'd always just attributed that to evil aesthetic. Why does this dialogue sound like it's from a World War II film and not a fantasy sci-fi show about literal monsters launching a ground attack?

May looks pretty against the sky though. I like her hair color against that purple.

I'm admittedly grasping at positives here because we finally return to her "You have to choose" ultimatum and — surprise! — May has pulled back completely. Ruby says that once they've helped Penny, "We'll...we'll do something!" which is once again her avoiding making a decision. Ruby still refuses to choose, instead falling back on generic, optimistic pep talks. They'll figure out how to stop Salem later. They'll think about the impact of telling the world later. They'll choose who to help later. Ruby keeps pushing these problems into the future where, she hopes, a perfect, magical solution will have appeared for her to latch onto. When that continues to not happen, others pressuring her to actually do something and stop waiting for perfection — Ironwood, Yang, May — she panics and continues stalling for time. Wait an episode and the narrative supports her in this.

Because initially May was forcing Ruby to decide. Now, May enables her desire to keep putting things off. "Don't beat yourself up, kid. At this point, I don't know how much is left to be done." That's the exact opposite of what May believed last episode, that there was still so much work and good to do for the people of Mantle. This is precisely what the show did with Yang and Ren's scenes too, having people call Ruby out... but then return to a message of, 'Don't worry, you're actually doing just fine' before Ruby is forced to actually change.

None of which even touches on May calling her "kid" in this moment. That continues to be a convenient way of absolving Ruby of any responsibility. When she wants to steal airships or Amity Tower, she's an adult everyone should listen to, the leader of this war. When the story wants to absolve her of previously mentioned flaws, she becomes a kid who shouldn't "beat herself up." I said years ago that RWBY couldn't continue to let the group be both children and adults simultaneously, yet here we are.

So that was a thoroughly disappointing scene. Ruby gets her moment to look sad and defeated, listing "the grimm, the crater, Nora, Penny" as problems she doesn't know how to solve. Note that 'Immortal witch attacking the city I've helped trap here' isn't included in that list. Ruby is still ignoring Salem herself and no one in the group is picking up where May left off, challenging her to do more than wring her hands over things others are already trying to take care of: Ironwood is fighting the grimm, May has gone off to help the crater, Klein is patching up Nora and Penny. Ruby, as one flawed individual, should not be expected to come up with a solution to everything, but she does need to stop acting like she can come up with a solution to everything when it matters most (office scene) and rejecting others' solutions when they ask for her help (Ironwood, May).

If it feels like I'm dragging the flawed, traumatized teenager too much, it's not in an effort to ignore those aspects of her identity. Rather, it's because she's also the licensed huntress who wrested control from a world leader and violently demanded she be put in charge of this battle. Ruby, by her own actions, is now responsible for dealing with these problems, or admitting she was wrong and letting others take the lead, without purposefully derailing their plans. She doesn't get to suddenly go, "I don't know," cry a little, and get sympathetic pats.

But of course that's precisely what happens, courtesy of Weiss.

During this whole scene I kept wondering why no one was celebrating Nora waking up, especially when Ruby outright mentions her. Have they just not noticed given all the Penny drama? Because Nora absolutely woke up.

Aaaand went back to sleep, I guess. What was the point of that POV shot? No worries though, she'll wake up again in a minute.

Willow arrives and announces that they can fix the power (and Penny) using the generator at the edge of the property. I'm convinced RT doesn't actually know what a generator is because the characters are acting like it's some super special device that only richy-rich could possibly have. Whitley says that it's the SDC executives who have their "own power supply" and that it's "extremely unfair." Now, don't get me wrong, a good generator powering large portions of your house can run you 30k+, but you can also get one that plugs into your extension cord and powers your fridge for a couple hundred. There's absolutely a class issue here, just not the one Whitley and Weiss seem to be commenting on. They make a generator sound like the sort of device that only a politician-CEO could possible have and it's weird.

Likely, it sounds weird because it's a choppy way of getting Whitley to bring up the wealth disparity so he can then go, 'That's right! We're crazy rich with a company housing tons of ships! We can use those to evacuate Mantle.' Awkwardness aside, I do like that the Schnee wealth is being used for good purposes, but... evacuate where? To the city currently under attack by a giant whale? In a RWBY that wasn't determined to demonize Ironwood, this would have been a great plot point during the office scene instead, with Weiss offering her services to Ironwood, even if the group decides that a continued evacuation still isn't possible.

Instead, we get it here from Whitley. Do I need to point out the obvious? That Whitley is the MVP of this episode? He's done more good in an HOUR than the group has managed in a year. Give this kid some training and make him a huntsmen instead.

We're given a (very pretty!) shot of the shattered moon because it wouldn't be RWBY if we weren't continually reminded that gods once wiped out humanity before destroying part of a celestial body... and absolutely no one talks about that lol.

Blake's coat might not make any sense for her color scheme, but it does make her easy to spot as she and Ruby run across the grounds. Oh my god, they're actually doing something together! It only took eight years. They even get a lovely talk where Blake admits how much she looks up to Ruby, despite her being younger, and once again I'm struck at how much more I would have loved this scene if it had appeared elsewhere in the series. It is, indeed, as sweet and emotional as all the RWBY GIF-ers are claiming... provided you overlook that this is the exact opposite of what Ruby needs to hear right now. She doesn't need to hear that she's more mature and reliable than her elders when she's functioning under a "We don't need adults" mentality. She doesn't need to hear that not knowing what to do is totally fine, not when that led to her turning on Ironwood, despite not knowing how to stop Salem. She doesn't need to hear that "doing something" — doing anything — is a strength, because Ruby keeps avoiding the big problems for smaller ones she's comfortable with, like standing by Penny's bedside instead of deciding between Mantle and Atlas. Blake's speech is heartfelt, but it's a speech that suits a Beacon days Ruby who is having some doubts about her leadership skills, not the girl whose impulsive — and now lack of — actions is having world-wide repercussions. Everyone is babying Ruby to a staggering degree. It's like if we had a med show where the doctor is standing by the bedside of a coding patient, fretting between two treatments. 'Don't worry,' their colleague says, patting their shoulder. 'I've always looked up to you. You'll do something when you're ready' and then they continue to watch the patient, you know, die.

Also: who does Ruby look up to? Everyone talks about how much they depend on and trust Ruby, but who does Ruby look to for guidance? A number of her problems stem from the fact that she has rejected the advice of everyone who has tried to help her improve: Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, even Yang. Ruby is presented as the pinnacle of what to strive for in a leader, rather than a leader who has only been doing this for two years and still has a great deal to learn.

Anyway, they get the generator on and the Hound shows up.

I am begging RT to just make RWBY a horror story. All their best scenes the last three years have been horror I am bEGGING —

Anyway, while Ruby waits to be eaten we cut to Willow and Klein, the former of which is reaching for her bottle, pulling back, reaching again, all while her hand shakes. This is good. This is what we should have gotten with Qrow. Which isn't to say that their (or anyone's) addiction should be identical, but rather that this is a far more engaging and complex look at addiction than what our birb got. Willow tells us that she doesn't drink in the dark despite bringing the bottle with her; tries to resist drinking when she's scared and ultimately fails. Qrow just decided to stop drinking after decades of addiction, seemingly for no reason, and that was that. Why is a side character we only met this volume written better than one of the main cast?

Blake manages to call Weiss about the Hound and she asks if Whitley can handle the airships without her. I mean, I assume so given that Weiss is looking at the bookshelves while Whitley does all the work lol. He makes a teasing comment about how he can if she can handle that grimm and she comments that they still need to work on his "attitude."

No they don't. Weiss stuck a weapon in her kid brother's face. Whitley made a joke. Even if Weiss' comment is likewise meant to be read as teasing, it's clear that we've bypassed any meaningful conversation between them. That hug was supposed to be a Fix Everything moment even though, as I've laid out elsewhere, it didn't even come close.

We cut back to Ruby getting thrown through a wall into the backyard and the Hound creepily coming after her. She's freaked out by this clearly abnormal grimm and Blake is weirdly... not? "It's just a grimm. Just focus!" Uh, it's obviously not. Have we reached the traumatized, sleep-deprived point where the group is sinking into full-blown denial? I wouldn't be surprised. They've been awake for like... 40+ hours.

Because the Hound knocks Ruby out with a single hit. Just, bam, she's down. "Focusing" is not the solution here.

Weiss calls to warn the others about the grimm, telling them to stick together. Willow (understandably) starts freaking out and flees the room (classic horror trope!). Klein is left alone when Penny wakes up with red eyes. Oh no!

Don't worry. You know nothing meaningful happens.

She shoves Klein before (somehow?) resisting the hack, her Maiden powers going wild in the process. Just when it looks as if Penny might cause some serious damage, Nora wakes up, takes her hand, and says, I kid you not:

"Hey... no one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do... It's just a part of you. Don't forget about the rest."

Okay. I want to re-emphasize that I love hopeful, uplifting, victory-won-through-the-power-of-love stories. Istg I'm not dead inside, it's just that RWBY does this so badly. I mean, what is this? It has similarities to the character shouting, 'No! Resist!' to their mind-controlled ally, but this is not presented as a desperate, last-ditch effort by Nora. She just speaks like this is the most obvious truth in the world. If you don't want to have your mind taken over... just don't! It's that simple. The problem definitely isn't that Watts has changed her coding and has implemented a command she can't override, it's that Penny has forgotten about the "rest" of her personhood.

And this works. Granted, not for long, but we leave Nora having successfully calmed Penny down and until her eyes unexpectedly go red again scenes later, we're left assuming that this is a permanent solution. That, imo anyway, is taking the Power of Love too far, overriding the basic reality of Penny being hacked. It’s not a personal failing she must overcome, it’s an external attack. I would have rather had Nora react to the scars she saw on her arm, or have a moment with Klein, or get some love from the group. Not a wakes up, falls asleep, wakes up again to save Penny with a Ruby level 'Just ignore reality' pep-talk, then back to sleep again.

So Penny isn't attacking her allies, or mistakenly hurting her allies with wild Maiden powers. Not that the group doesn't have enough to deal with, but still. Weiss arrives to help with the Hound and attempts a new summon, only to fail when two minor grimm burrow up into her glyphs. I really enjoyed that moment, both for the wing visual and the knowledge that Weiss' glyphs can fail if you break them somehow (which makes sense). Also, I just like that she failed in general? Weiss is, as per usual now, about to demonstrate just how OP she is compared to the rest of the team, so it was nice to see her faltering here.

The Hound tries to make off with Ruby and Blake does an excellent job of keeping it tethered. Ruby finally wakes, only to realize that the grimm is actually after Penny since it's staring at her power up through the window, no longer trying to escape. Moments like this remind me that there's someone on RT's writing team that knows what they're doing, at least some of the time. The assumption that the Hound is after Ruby as a SEW, the surprise that it's actually Penny, realizing it holds up because Ruby is covered in Penny's blood and Blake is not... that's all nice, tight plotting. More of that please!

The Hound drops her and Ruby's aura shatters when she hits the ground. I want everyone to remember this moment as an example of how strong the Hound is. The group may be tired, but unlike YJR they've been sitting around in the Schnee manor for a number of hours, regaining strength. We saw the Hound hit Ruby twice — once through the wall and once to knock her out — and then she falls from a not very high distance for a huntress, yet her aura is toast. That's the level of power and skill the Hound possesses. Decimating YJR, knocking Oscar out, same for Ruby, avoiding Blake and Weiss' hits, soon to treat Penny like a ragdoll. Just remember all this for the episode's end.

Blake tells Weiss she'll take care of Ruby, you go help the others. Yay breaking up the duos more! Bad timing though as the new acid-spitting grimm pops out of the ground and Blake is now left alone to face it.

Weiss re-enters the mansion, knowing the Hound is somewhere nearby, but not where. Suddenly, Willow's voice sounds through her scroll with an, "Above you!" which... doesn't keep Weiss from getting hit lol. But it's the thought that counts! Willow has accessed the cameras she's set up throughout the manor, watching the Hound's movements, and I have to say, that is a WAY better use of her separation from Klein than I thought we were getting. I legit thought they'd have Willow run away in a panic, meet the Hound, die, and then Weiss could be sad about losing her mom.

It does say something about RWBY's writing that this was my knee-jerk theory, as well as my surprise when we got something way better.

The Hound runs off, uninterested in Weiss, and she asks Willow to keep tabs on it. It heads for Whitley next (also covered in Penny's blood) and very creepily stalks him in the office with a, "I know you're here." Whitley is seconds away from being Hound chow before one of Weiss' boars pin it against the wall. He runs, then runs BACK to finish deploying the airships, before finally escaping assumed death. Goddamn this boy is pulling his weight.

I assume all these ships are automated then? I hope someone takes a moment to call May. Otherwise it's going to be super weird for the Mantle citizens if a fleet of SDC ships just show up and hover there...

I don't entirely understand how Weiss saved him though. She's nowhere to be seen when Whitley leaves and he runs a fair distance before he and Willow encounter Weiss again. We know her summons don't have to keep right next to her, but are they capable of rudimentary thought, attacking an enemy — and an enemy only — despite Weiss being a couple corridors down and unable to see the current battlefield? I don't know. In another series I'd theorize that this was a deliberate hint, a way to clue us into the fact that Willow, someone who we currently know almost nothing about, had training in the past and summoned the boar herself. Weiss and Winter certainly didn't get that hereditary skill from Jacques. Hell, we might still get that, Weiss reacting with confusion next episode when Whitley thanks her for the boar, but I doubt it. That scene with Ruby and the Hound aside, the show isn't this good at laying groundwork and then following up on it.

Case in point: Weiss says, "I didn't forget you" to Whitley after he gets away from the Hound, the moment trying to harken back to her promise to Willow. Key word is "trying." Because she absolutely forgot him! Weiss threatened and ignored Whitley until he proved his usefulness. I also shouldn't need to point out that, "Don't forget your brother" does not mean, "Don't let your brother die a horrible death by abnormal grimm." Weiss acts like her saving him is a fulfillment of her promise, rather than just the most basic of human decency. And also, you know, her job.

So that part is frustrating. The entire Schnee dynamic is a mess, from Weiss making a joke of her father's arrest, to Willow (presumably) fixing their relationship by putting a hand on her daughter's shoulder. Okay.

Then Weiss cuts off the Hound by summoning a giant wall of ice. My brain, every time this happens:

YOU COULD HAVE FIXED THE HOLE IN MANTLE'S WALL.

Moving on, Blake's fight against the acid... thing has some great choreography, including Blake using her semblance which we haven't seen in AGES. 

I really like the fight itself, just not what Blake is shouting the whole time. "I need you, Ruby! We all need you!" This has really gotten ridiculous. Ruby is presented as everyone's sole savior despite failing time and time again. It's not that I don't think Blake as a character should have faith in her leader, it's that I don't think the writers should be crafting a story where everyone puts their unshakable hopes in an untrained, disloyal, impulsive 17 year old. I mean, Ruby is currently unconscious, yet Blake is acting like if she doesn't wake up — she, as an individual, if Ruby Rose does not re-join this fight — then all is lost. If Ruby doesn't save them, no one can. Which is, of course, absurd on numerous levels. Blake doesn't need the passed out, aura-less Ruby right now, she needs the still very healthy Weiss pulling out multiple summons and an ice wall! Use your scroll and call for backup again.

But of course, Ruby wakes up and kills the new, terrifying grimm with a single hit. It's a preview of what's to come with the Hound and it's just as ridiculous here as it will be there.

Speaking of the Hound, am I the only one who thought this was... cute?

I can't possibly be the only one. That head-tilt is exactly what my dogs do and my brain instinctively went, "Aww, puppy!"

Murderous puppy.

The Hound realizes none of the Schnees are who it's looking for and runs off. Penny, meanwhile, has been fully taken over because, well, that's just what's convenient now. She resists long enough keep Amity up, then succumbs, then resists to apologize to Ruby, then succumbs, then resists because Nora asked her to, then succumbs once it's time to knock her out. If RWBY was willing to commit to consequences, Penny would have been taken over and that was that. The characters would need to deal with whatever outcome happens as a result. Instead, the show very carefully avoids any of those pesky consequences by having Penny successfully resisting at key moments, despite no explanation of how she's managing that.

She shoves Klein again (Klein is having a Bad Time) and starts walking down the main steps. When Whitley wants to know where the hell she's going, Penny mechanically responds that she must "Open the vault, then self-destruct." I suppose the change Watts made was the self-destruct order? Ironwood obviously wants the vault open, though not necessarily Penny's death. Think what you will of his moral compass, she's a damn powerful ally — a research project, perhaps — and a Maiden to boot. At the very least, her death may give the powers to someone even worse.

God, please don't let them have brought Penny back and made her a Maiden just to kill her again.

The Hound arrives though and, as said, knocks Penny out. We're back to square one with her, then. Note though that this attack is near instantaneous. She grabs its hands one second, is hanging limply the next. Wow, the Hound sure is a terrifying antagonist!

Not for long.

"That's enough," Ruby says and one-shots it with her eyes.

Now, I want to talk for a moment about the implications of that line. "That's enough." Obviously Ruby is #done with this situation and emotionally unwilling to let the Hound kidnap Penny (congratulations, Nuts and Dolts shippers), but there's a meta reading here as well. Not intentional, but glaring to me nonetheless. Basically, the idea that the Hound has, from a plot perspective, done enough. It has served its singular purpose. It kidnapped Oscar and now it dies. Never-mind how insanely powerful we've established the Hound to be, never-mind how Ruby's eyes also work or don't work according to whether anything of actual import is on the line. From a plot perspective "that's enough" and the Hound can be disposed of instantly. It got Oscar and gave us an episode of filler creepiness. Move along now.

The idea behind Ruby's eyes isn't bad, but the execution absolutely is. RT has undermined a huge portion of the stakes by giving their protagonist an instant kill-shot that always works precisely when she needs it to. Starting with the Apathy, we have yet to get a moment where Ruby's eyes fail to save the day when she really needs them to, no matter how incredible the challenge. The Hound was very intentionally written to be a grimm outside of the group's current power level. It thinks, it talks, they literally can't touch it. This creates the expectation that the group will need to grow stronger — or at least become smarter — in order to surmount this new obstacle, yet Ruby's eyes undermine all of that. The group hasn't grown in years, the show just makes enemies weaker as needed (Ace Ops), or has Ruby pull out her eyes as a trump card. It wouldn't be that bad if we'd at least gotten a good battle out of it, one where the group gets close to defeating the Hound on their own, but needs Ruby's eyes to finish it off. Instead, she literally walks up without any aura, announces to the audience that this antagonist's time is up, and blasts it out a window.

Granted, Ruby's eyes don't completely finish it. The Hound pulls itself to its feet and we see this.

Yup, that's a guy and yup, those are silver eyes.

I would like to issue a formal apology to the "It's secretly Summer!" theorists in the fandom. I mean, I still think it would be ridiculous (and at this point highly improbable) that Ruby's dead mother has actually been a grimm mutant this whole time, just hanging out in Salem's realm while she waits for the plot to start before attacking the world, and then sends some no-name faunus dude after the group instead of their leader's mother for extra, emotional torture... but you all were definitely right about the “It's a person” part! I... don't know how I feel about this. Admittedly, it seems to be a logical continuation of the other grimm-human hybrids we've seen — namely Cinder and Salem herself — and it finally explains why Salem wants Ruby alive (even though it actually doesn't because WHY did she want more SEWs for Hound grimm when she wasn't even attacking back then? And already has all these other insanely powerful tools??), but at the same time, it feels like it's complicating a story that doesn't need further complications. The group fights monsters and has an immortal enemy. You don't need to add 'Some of those monsters are secretly human' to the mix.

It doesn't hurt that this twist is giving me Attack on Titan vibes, which, ew. A dark time in my fandom life, folks.

The Hound staggers a few steps before Whitley and Willow dump a suit of armor on it. That's all it takes to kill the most dangerous grimm we've ever seen: a single flash of silver eyes and some heavy metal. This also wreaks havoc with the implication that Salem wants SEWs alive because they create such powerful grimm. Obviously not. I mean yeah, normal huntsmen are going to have serious  problems, we’ve seen that this volume, but any other SEWs nearby will take a Hound out instantaneously. For a villain with so many other powerful abilities — immortality, magic, endless normal grimm, her nifty soup — Salem would be much better served just killing SEWs straight out. Clearly, creating Hounds isn't worth the effort.

The Hound leaves some bones behind and Ruby collapses to her knees, overcome with the knowledge that this was once a person. Again, uncomfortable Attack on Titan parallels.

We finish our premiere with Cinder clearing away rubble to reveal Watts. Honestly, I like that we ended on this because her rescue is hilarious. She just slings him over her shoulders like a sack of potatoes and blasts off with her magic fire feet. Fantastic.

Note though that with this scene we've seen almost everything from the clip and the trailer. What's to come in the rest of Volume 8? No idea. Outside of Winter leading the charge with the bomb, we got it all here.

Time to update the bingo board!

I'm crossing off "Introducing new grimm that are quickly abandoned." Between the Hound and acid-dude both falling to a single blast/cut from Ruby, we've more than earned this square.

It doesn't look as if we'll get another Watts-Jacques team-up now that he's left, but you never know.

Maria's got me worried. I feel like her Yoda fight against Neo is the one thing she'll be allowed to do this volume, but given that we didn't see anyone except Ruby's group this episode, we don't yet know whether the story is now ignoring her and Pietro, or if they'll re-appear in another episode like YJR.  

Qrow is free. Will he get a drink before trying to murder Ironwood? Perhaps.

Still no bingo :(

All in all, the episode was by no means horrible. I think there were lots of horrible parts, but also some legitimately well executed moments, fun action, and scenes that I can easily imagine as squee worthy if you lean back and squint. Everything is comparative and in the growing collection of bad RWBY episodes, this one isn't securing a top slot. Which doesn't mean I think it's good, just... not as bad as it could have been and primarily only bad due to long-running problems, not things this specific episode has done. That's my bar then, so low it has officially entered the underworld.

Still, RWBY is back and a part of me is eager to see where this volume takes us, for better or for worse.

Until next week! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

[rpbetter]

Anyone doing the Post+ Protest this weekend?

Anyone want to, but you're not sure what you'd do without tumblr for 48 hours?*

Here are some suggestions:

work on your drafts off of tumblr - gather what you owe (it doesn't have to be everything if you owe a lot or do very lengthy replies, but it's better to grab more than you end up needing than running out) and write them using google docs or whatever program or app you like best outside of a browser. Then, you can move them over and format them as usual when the protest is over

work on your inbox - same deal! Just take what's in your inbox and write your replies off of tumblr (if your mutuals don't send the whole prompt or just looking at it, you can't remember what the full context was, find the memes and copy that, too, first)

get some headcanon prompts - pull them from memes, character development questionnaires, writing prompts, etc. and paste them into a doc to pick from and write later while logged off

write down headcanon topics until this weekend - just that, be thinking of things you'd love an opportunity to talk about but usually don't have the time or drive to tackle over the remainder of the week, and write them up while logged off

grab some writing prompts - use them as inspiration for writing some open starters or stand-alone things like doing the full month's worth of spooky, October prompts this year starring your muse, getting a head start this weekend

have a canon or an OC in specific fandoms? Of course, you do! And, I bet there are some thoughts you have about those universes and/or events involving your muse. You can write some meta, some discussion on how your muse differs from canon, or even a one-shot to fill in gaps with your muse or revisit an event from their perspective

make/learn to make those icons, edits, or graphics you've been meaning/wanting to do

anything you need to get caught up on or have been wanting to work on for a while, this is a great time to do it! Most of the things you do on tumblr as a RPer don't actually require you being logged in to work on

What happens when you have the impulse to check tumblr, though?

it's habitual, that's how habitual things work, don't feel bad about it or anything! You're not critically addicted to tumblr, and even if you are, it's not meth, it's okay

message friends instead - see ahead of time which friends/mutuals/writing partners are intending to do the logoff, you can help each other out by being around to DM each other instead

find something else ahead of time that satisfies the same habitual sort of needs - browser games are great for this, they often have the same elements of click, scroll, refresh

games games are great, too, it's just that we often still check tumblr on mobile while playing them and that might also be habitual for you

decide you're going to learn how to do something this weekend - make it something you can accomplish, but that is personally complex enough to be occupying for you while not being boring or feeling excessively like work

I've seen a lot of suggestions, this time and the last time around, but they're not specific to RPers...and a few of them are at least mildly insulting with an attitude that this is your time to realize that you're addicted to tumblr and need to go outside, this will be a life-changing experience for a healthier you.

Yes, totally read a book, have a movie weekend with friends, do various social activities (that are safe and responsible for you to do in your area, obviously), go on a walk, go biking, whatever the hell you want to do. However, I'm not comfortable implying that no one does this shit regularly as it is, or that everyone is physically or psychologically capable of doing it. Honestly, if you simply don't have a driving need for "a healthier life" and/or do not feel like you're leading an unhealthy, unhappy one because you have online hobbies, you're 100% valid as well.

So, I'd rather give some suggestions specifically geared toward RPers, that might be closer to normal for your downtime online, that are not negated by real-life limitations, and that aren't things that are your actual, daily responsibilities (studying, engaging with your pets, laundry).

If you participate in the protest, it's best to have some ideas before you log out, so I hope this helped!

*by the way, if you can't make it that full 48 hours, just fully logging out for as long as possible makes a difference! While the full 48 is the best and would be great, the whole point is demonstrating that we're really serious about how not alright with many aspects of this we are - if you never log off of tumblr or are usually logged in for several hours a day, logging off for as long as possible during the hours you're usually here does say something. Please remember that it is important to actually log out! Not simply not visiting your dash or interacting with posts, but literally logging out of your account(s).

-No one is judging you for not being able to participate, either, and there are a variety of reasons why you might not be able to. Maybe, if you have to remain logged in for the duration, you could help out friends who are protesting by keeping them busy, saving things for them to view on tumblr until after the protest is over so you're not reminding them, and generally being supportive of the effort in whatever way you can. This post is a suggestion post, it isn't meant to guilt or push anyone into protesting or shame them for not doing so. Neither is it a perfect listing of everything you could do - you can and should consider what will work out best for you as an individual!

-if you have questions about the protest, the link in the first sentence takes you directly to the blog for it. In the pinned post, they have information like what date and specific timezone time the protest will run for. They also have answered numerous questions, so, check out the blog, please! However, if you want to ask me why anyone is doing this: it is neither about tumblr or content creators making money, everyone is realistic about the former and supportive of the latter. The issue is tumblr advertising this feature to fandom content creators, refusing to listen to its userbase ever, and offering no legal protection will assuming no legal risks with this feature. There are other issues, but these are the primary ones, that the feature is incredibly harmful and legitimately dangerous to those it is being marketed to.

[uncloseted]

What are your thoughts on critical race theory and how it's being taught or should be taught in schools? Everyone seems to have a different idea of what is being taught and it's hard to keep up. I've heard extreme stories about certain schools but I've also heard that those are mostly people on the right exaggerating. Thank you for answering these political questions and giving such well thought out responses!

Okay so... there's a lot to unpack within the discussion of "critical race theory". I'm going to give a primer of what it is, how it is (and isn't) being used in schools, what the controversy is, and then I'll give my opinions at the end.

What is Critical Race Theory?

"Critical Race Theory" is a previously obscure academic concept. It's an approach to studying US policies and institutions and is typically taught in higher-education institutions like law schools or schools of social work. It's been in use since the 70s, when law professors began considering how racism shapes American law. Basically, Critical Race Theory states that intentional and unintentional racial bias are baked into the way our institutions and legal system functions. CRT is a way of examining how "racism is sustained more through law, policy and practices than through individual bias and discrimination," in the words of Boston University law professor Jasmine Gonzales Rose. It's focused on shifting our attention away from individual people's bad actions (what we commonly think of as being "racism") to instead center how systems uphold racial disparities.

Where did the Controversy about Critical Race Theory Come From?

After the murder of George Floyd last year and the resulting Black Lives Matter protests, these same topics were introduced to public consciousness. Is our police system racist? Are people of color disproportionately likely to be arrested and imprisoned for crimes, even though white people commit crimes at the same rate? (The answer to these questions is yes, just so we're clear). Are there ways in which racial bias is baked into our legal system? There were a lot of people around that time who became aware that our systems are discriminatory, and, as with everything, a lot of people who pushed back against anything actually changing.

Here's where the whole thing gets a bit convoluted. The debate over "critical race theory" can be traced to just one person- Christopher Rufo, a fellow at a conservative think tank. On September 2nd of 2020, Rufo appeared on Fox News's show, "Tucker Carlson Tonight". On the show, Rufo claimed that "critical race theory" had "pervaded every institution in the federal government" and called on President Trump to ban "critical race theory" in federal workforce trainings. It's somewhat unclear why he thought this to begin with. In that same conversation, Rufo deemed "critical race theory" "divisive, un-American propaganda". From there, this idea that "critical race theory" (used as "a catchall phrase for any examination of systemic racism" or even as a catchall phrase to denote anything advocating for social change, as opposed to the principles of Critical Race Theory that are actually used in educational institutions) is infiltrating our government took off on Twitter.

By September 17th of 2020, Trump was denouncing "critical race theory" and had created the 1776 Commission to "promote patriotic education". The 1776 Commission was in direct opposition to the 1619 Project, a Pulitzer Prize winning, long-form journalism project developed for The New York Times, which aims to explore American history through African-American perspectives. The 1619 Project was being used as a tool in public school curricula to help students understand the impact of slavery on modern society. It's important to note here that at no point was Critical Race Theory being taught in schools except at the university level, and that the 1619 Project is not based in Critical Race Theory. When discussing the 1776 Commission, Trump said, "we want our sons and daughters to know the truth. America is the greatest and most exceptional nation in the history of the world. Our country wasn't built by cancel culture, speech codes, and crushing conformity. We are not a nation of timid spirits."

To recap: Rufo introduces this concept of "critical race theory" to the conservative media on September 2nd. In his context, "critical race theory" has no real definition and has been divorced from actual Critical Race Theory. 15 days later, Trump adopts "critical race theory" as a major theme in his campaign, using the 1619 project to justify his claims that "critical race theory" is being taught to "our children" in schools, and he founds the 1776 Commission to provide an alternative narrative of American history. Conservative media outlets jump onto the "critical race theory" debate, but without a clear idea of what Critical Race Theory is (which is why it seems like there's a lot of different ideas about what it is and what's being taught) in an attempt to push for limits on teaching practices relating to racism.

In 2021, Joe Biden dissolved the 1776 Commission, but bills were introduced in Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Texas to "restrict teaching critical race theory in public schools". In some cases, these bills single out the 1619 Project in particular, even though it is not based in Critical Race Theory. Other bills have an even larger ban on programs that involve social justice in general.

I'm not familiar with any "extreme stories" about "critical race theory" being taught in K-12 schools, but if you want to send ones you come across my way, I'm happy to discuss the veracity of those claims.

As for my opinion, I think it's good that students are being introduced to the ways in which our country's history has impacted the way our country's systems are built, and it's good that they're being introduced to the ways in which those systems are discriminatory. 48% of Gen Z are POC. 50%(ish) of Gen Z is female. 15.9% of Gen Z is LGBT. We're becoming more diverse as a society, and so the ways in which people are discriminated against are more visible, even to kids. It's important that kids understand (in an age-appropriate way) what discrimination is, why it happens, and what they can do about it.

Kids who are POC or female or obviously gender-divergent don't get the luxury of being able to ignore discrimination. Black kids are aware of "critical race theory" (the way that society systemically discriminates against them) from the get-go. Nobody is arguing that we should be telling white six year olds that they're evil for being white or that their parents are evil for being white. They're saying that a white six year old will notice that they're being treated differently than their Black best friend, and they'll know that's unfair. It's better to respond to their questions about fairness with an acknowledgement that things aren't fair, but we can work to fix them, instead of insisting that there is no problem, and that we are the "Greatest and Most Exceptional Nation In The History of The World".

Our current educational system does a lot of whitewashing when it comes to US History. Just think back to any celebration you had of Columbus Day or Thanksgiving in school, where they make it seem like the colonists and Native Americans were friends. It's important that instead of whitewashing our history, we acknowledge that many people were, and still are, hurt by that history. It's important to center non-white voices in those curricula, because without them, the story we're telling isn't true. History classes should not be a stage for American nationalist propaganda, and yet that's what they become when we insist on only teaching about the "good" things we've done.

Do I think that the 1619 Project is the way to go about that goal? Not necessarily. There are legitimate criticisms that can and have been made about that project, and I agree with some of them. Likewise, I think actual Critical Race Theory is too advanced for your average K-12 student, and it's not the best framework for teaching these topics. There are educators much smarter than I am who can (and have) come up with age-appropriate curricula to talk about these topics. But it's important that we allow for and encourage discussion of those topics, and putting a blanket ban over anything social justice related isn't going to make that happen.

[knightowl725]

Small Steps

Fandom: Critical Role

For Fjorclay Week 2020′s Fake Relationship Prompt

Read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23779240

Fjord would like for it to be documented on his gravestone--

--one likely in the Clay family’s graveyard, the one he’d only heard mixed stories about where they could make cheeky jokes about him being a Stone and drink tea made from his decaying body--

--that Jester Lavorre was the cause of his death.

“We have to get in if we’re going to get information,” Jester whined.

They stood around the corner from the unexpectedly exclusive tavern, Jester’s third attempt at sneaking in failed. She plucked off the painfully obvious false mustache and frowned at them in a little pout.

“Maybe we can try a more...subtle method?” Caleb ventured.

Beau snorted. “Yeah, us. Subtle.”

“Why don’t I just sneak past the guard?” Nott asked.

“You can’t just sneak in if we need to get information,” Fjord pointed out. “We have to enter legitimately.”

“Well, the guard doesn’t take bribes,” Jester told them. “And none of my disguises or distractions worked.”

From the corner of Fjord’s vision, a familiar pink-and-green giant ambled up to the group.

“Where have you been, Caduceus?”

“I, uh, just went to speak to that nice gentleman at the door,” Caduceus said in his slow, smiling way. “Looks like this is a tavern reserved for specific folks.”

“What kind?” Caleb asked.

“The kind that court the same sex, it seems. Some kind of, uh, couples tavern.”

“Ooh, like a dirty tavern?” Jester grinned slyly.

Caduceus laughed. “Ah, no. No, it seems it’s just for socializing and the sort, but only for gay couples.”

“So a few of us can just pretend to be dating,” Nott suggested.

Fjord turned to Beau. “Shame Yasha isn’t with us tonight. I feel like you two’ve done something like this before.”

Beau, arms crossed, scoffed in amusement, but before she could say anything, Jester cried, “Beau can’t go!”

Silence fell over the group.

“Yeah, Jes, that’s what they were saying,” Beau told her.

A deep purple flush colored Jester’s cheeks. If the group had seen the dynamic between the two shifting over the past weeks, no one had said anything. And based on Jester’s reaction, it was still too soon to bring it up.

“Well, I’ve already talked to the guard,” Caduceus began.

“Which would make you perfect to return with your partner,” Caleb said. Caduceus pressed his lips together in a way that told them he was not planning on finishing his thought that way. “If you’ve already buddied up with him.”

“I suppose…”

“You should go with Fjord,” Beau suggested, earning a bright-eyed grin from Jester. “I mean, since Fjord is so good with people and all.”

“Caleb’s not a very good liar,” Jester said severely, drawing an incredulous look from anyone present enough to actually hear her.

“But Fjord and Caduceus are brothers!” Nott objected, drawing a firm and simultaneous, “No!” from the men in question.

Caleb nodded. “Then it’s settled. Fjord and Caduceus will go as a couple and find out what they can regarding the man we’re looking for.”

“Maybe he’s gay,” Beau offered.

“We can only hope,” Fjord muttered. Glancing over to see Caduceus looking at him with concern, he forced a tense smile and said, “Come along, then, Caduceus.”

“I’m sure you’re going to do just fine, Fjord,” the cleric assured him as they walked off. 

“Have fun!” Caleb called from behind them, the final clue that he was absolutely aware of what he was doing.

While the Nein skirted respectfully around whatever was being built between Jester and Beau, they only barely contained their giggles and teasing about him and Cad. There wasn’t anything between them, though. Just a deep friendship built on mutual respect and admiration. And a shared deity. And a continuous warmth whenever they stood close, or met their eyes, or worked together or… Whatever.

They made their way back around the block to the tavern. The same guard stood at the door, a large goliath man who nodded in couples and the odd single person.

“Wonder how they get in,” Fjord mused.

“Regulars?” Caduceus offered. “Think he said something about that.”

“Right.” Fjord took a breath. “Let’s, let’s get going then. Get in, get what we need, get back to the others.”

Caduceus nodded, and they walked side-by-side up to the door.

“Ah, you’re back,” the guard noted. He looked at Fjord. 

“My partner and I were hoping to come in for a little while,” Caduceus said with a smile. 

“You didn’t mention him before,” the man said.

The firbolg slung an arm around Fjord’s shoulders, a little loosely due to the height difference. Fjord did his best to look completely casual about the contact. “Ah, well. You never know.”

He nodded. “Fair enough. Enjoy your evening.”

Fjord gave a courteous nod to the guard as he stepped aside. 

The tavern was warm, a little dim in a relaxed way. There were your standard tables and bar and food and drink, as well as sunken in areas filled with pillows and low tables where couples lounged. 

“Doesn’t really seem like the kind of place to be so exclusive,” Fjord murmured, Caduceus’s arm still around him. Gods, what was wrong with him? Between healing and battle and the close quarters of the dome, he should be used to this. And yet, were it not for the grace of the low light, he’d been a blatant deep green.

Caduceus withdrew his arm, scanning the room slowly. “Suppose that’s why they keep it so exclusive.”

“Huh.”

“What was this gentleman like, again?”

“Human. Beard.” Looking around, Fjord bit back a sigh. “Terribly unique. Name is Berth.”

“We’re going to have to mingle, then.”

“Right.”

There was a pause, and Caduceus leaned down, closer to his height, to ask, “Are you alright, Fjord?”

“Yes, of course.” Seeing the frown on his face, Fjord faltered. “I’m just...uncomfortable, I suppose. It’s not you, it’s just...the situation.”

“We could always leave, go about this another way.”

“No. We’re here already, let’s just--”

“Pardon me, gentlemen,” said a smooth voice. They turned to see an elven man, or perhaps half-elven, standing just at their side. He was dark-skinned, with long, curling hair and tight clothing. A bright smile greeted them. 

“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation.”

Fjord felt himself tense, but forced his expression into something more relaxed, a bit perplexed.

The man went on, “I know we’ve all been in your shoes - new place, new crowd, old discomforts. Why don’t you join me and my friends for a drink?”

“That sounds nice,” Caduceus said. “Fjord?”

Fjord smiled. “Yes, of course. And thank you…”

“They call me Wyth,” said the man. He turned and led them to one of the sunken areas. Amongst the pillows lounged five others, two pairs of women and a single man whom Wyth settled in beside. Each pair was in varying states of contact. Nothing scandalous, but certainly intimate.

Fjord turned so that they wouldn’t see him whisper to Caduceus, “When in Vasselheim.” 

He let out a low chuckle that might have given them away, but seemed to draw no suspicion. Fjord sat first, taking the last open section within the ring of cushions. The one he found was propped up against the edge of the sunken floor, so he was still able to sit mostly upright. 

Caduceus sat beside him, more relaxed and stretched out. His long legs reached the edge of the low table in the center, and he let one arm rest behind Fjord, just touching. Fjord, uncertain what behavior was fully expected, set a hand as casually as he could on Caduceus’s leg. That...seemed okay.

“These are my friends,” Wyth said, half on his partner’s lap. He rattled off names until it was their turn.

“My name is Fjord, and this is my partner, Caduceus.”

They hadn’t discussed fake names, but Caduceus wasn’t exactly versed enough in lying that he wanted to take the risk. Besides, they shouldn’t be doing anything too risky. What was the worst that could happen? They run into people later on that thought they were dating? The entire Mighty Nein already did.

A server came by, unloading drinks for everyone on the low table. Fjord took his to have something to hold.

“Always nice to see new faces around,” said one of the women, a halfling. “How’d you two meet?”

“We’re adventurers, of a sort,” Fjord explained. “The group I was part of, well, I was captured by an enemy. On their way to save myself and other members, they came across Caduceus.”

“It was time for me to leave home,” Caduceus said in his cryptic way.

“And he helped with our rescue. Our paths have...aligned ever since.”

“How daring,” Wyth said. 

“Very romantic,” said another of the women.

Caduceus chuckled. “I like to think so.”

“Yes, I’m certain finding me in a dank cellar, covered in blood and dirt and piss was very appealing,” Fjord muttered, taking a long swig. 

That earned him a laugh. “You forget I was raised in a graveyard.”

“You two are so weird,” Wyth said. Then he grinned. “I love it.”

As the others laughed and chatted about their own strange encounters, Caduceus gingerly picked up his own tankard and peered into it. 

“Want me to get you some water?” Fjord asked. “It’ll, uh, give me a chance to take another look around.”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” Caduceus said, setting back down the drink. 

Fjord rose and climbed from the sunken area, focused on maintaining some level of cool. 

This was fine. This was fine. Those people seemed perfectly nice. They were buying it. Of course they were. If people who knew them thought they were seeing each other without them trying, then this would obviously work. 

It had to be the setting. The romantic lighting and soft cushions and couples and nonsense. And the alcohol. Nevermind he’d had all of one drink. As in, one drink from his glass. It was having an affect, certainly. 

Alright, so now even he wasn’t buying it. As he stood at the bar, waiting for the barkeep to get a free second to grab her attention, he allowed himself a moment of honesty. 

There was something...there with Caduceus. He couldn’t say if it was returned. Clearly the other feelings were, the mutual respect, the kinship, all that. The foundation, if you will. But the structure being built atop it, well. It was hard to say if it was Fjord’s work alone.

And did he want anything more to happen? Liking someone didn’t mean something should be done about it. Look at Jester! There had definitely been something between them at one point, a seed with the possibility of growth. But then Caduceus had happened and Beau had continued to happen and it just...didn’t grow. He loved her, but not like that.

“Water, please,” Fjord asked when the barkeep glanced his way. She nodded, then continued work on the drink she was mixing.

“Hey.”

He glanced over his shoulder to see a broad human man, no beard. 

“Couldn’t help but notice you’ve been standing alone here for awhile,” the man said. “Mind if I keep you company?”

The brief short-circuit that happened any time someone flirted with him shut down Fjord’s brain for a few seconds. The man mistook that for approval and stood a little closer.

Before Fjord could politely send the man away, he felt someone wrap their arm around his shoulder, tighter than before.

“Thank you for getting me a drink,” Caduceus said, close enough to his ear to send an unrelated shiver down his spine. The cleric looked down, down at the human was a smile. “Have you been keeping my partner company?”

His arm shifted, almost more around his neck now, though not uncomfortably so. Just… a clear signal. 

“Sorry,” said the human. “Didn’t think he had anyone considering how long you left him here.”

“Water,” said the barkeep, and Fjord took the distraction.

“Here you go, Cad,” he said, handing off the glass. Caduceus took it with his free hand.

“Thank you.” To the human, Caduceus said, “I have enough faith in our relationship not to spend every moment with him. Until I sense he needs me to intervene. Shall we head back to the group?”

“Yes, let’s,” Fjord said quickly, awkwardly grabbing the hand over his shoulder and guiding Caduceus away from the bar.

“Our new friend Wyth happens to know our man,” Caduceus told him softly. “I think I got enough for us to leave, if you’re still uncomfortable.”

His arm still around him, his breath all too close to his ear, thinking about laying side-by-side again, Fjord felt his face heat up. “No, I, ah, would hate to waste this opportunity. We should stay a little longer, just in case we learn anything more.”

“They are such nice people…”

“Exactly!”

Caduceus looked at him for a moment, then he reached out with his free hand to take Fjord’s. His eyes went heavy-lidded as he left a single, slow kiss on Fjord’s palm. Then, he pulled back, freeing his other arm, and smiled. “It’s a lovely shade of green on you.”

Fjord took in a sharp breath, knowing the blushing was only getting worse. “Right. Back to the group, then.”

Still, he slid his hand into Cad’s before they rejoined the group.

Maybe it didn’t have to change overnight, what was growing between them. Maybe it didn’t have to be a structure built, but a garden nourished. It would take its time, in little ways, no matter the teasing or misconceptions. 

Yeah, that might be nice.

[bluewatsons]

Brian D. Earp, The unbearable asymmetry of bullshit, HealthWatch Newsletter (February 2016)

Introduction

Science and medicine have done a lot for the world. Diseases have been eradicated, rockets have been sent to the moon, and convincing, causal explanations have been given for a whole range of formerly inscrutable phenomena. Notwithstanding recent concerns about sloppy research, small sample sizes, and challenges in replicating major findings—concerns I share and which I have written about at length — I still believe that the scientific method is the best available tool for getting at empirical truth. Or to put it a slightly different way (if I may paraphrase Winston Churchill’s famous remark about democracy): it is perhaps the worst tool, except for all the rest.

Scientists are people too

In other words, science is flawed. And scientists are people too. While it is true that most scientists — at least the ones I know and work with — are hell-bent on getting things right, they are not therefore immune from human foibles. If they want to keep their jobs, at least, they must contend with a perverse “publish or perish” incentive structure that tends to reward flashy findings and high-volume “productivity” over painstaking, reliable research. On top of that, they have reputations to defend, egos to protect, and grants to pursue. They get tired. They get overwhelmed. They don’t always check their references, or even read what they cite. They have cognitive and emotional limitations, not to mention biases, like everyone else.

At the same time, as the psychologist Gary Marcus has recently put it, “it is facile to dismiss science itself. The most careful scientists, and the best science journalists, realize that all science is provisional. There will always be things that we haven’t figured out yet, and even some that we get wrong.” But science is not just about conclusions, he argues, which are occasionally (or even frequently) incorrect. Instead, “It’s about a methodology for investigation, which includes, at its core, a relentless drive towards questioning that which came before.” You can both “love science,” he concludes, “and question it.”

I agree with Marcus. In fact, I agree with him so much that I would like to go a step further: if you love science, you had better question it, and question it well, so it can live up to its potential.

And it is with that in mind that I bring up the subject of bullshit.

Bullshit in science 

There is a veritable truckload of bullshit in science.¹ When I say bullshit, I mean arguments, data, publications, or even the official policies of scientific organizations that give every impression of being perfectly reasonable — of being well-supported by the highest quality of evidence, and so forth — but which don’t hold up when you scrutinize the details. Bullshit has the veneer of truth-like plausibility. It looks good. It sounds right. But when you get right down to it, it stinks.

There are many ways to produce scientific bullshit. One way is to assert that something has been “proven,” “shown,” or “found” and then cite, in support of this assertion, a study that has actually been heavily critiqued (fairly and in good faith, let us say, although that is not always the case, as we soon shall see) without acknowledging any of the published criticisms of the study or otherwise grappling with its inherent limitations.

Another way is to refer to evidence as being of “high quality” simply because it comes from an in-principle relatively strong study design, like a randomized control trial, without checking the specific materials that were used in the study to confirm that they were fit for purpose. There is also the problem of taking data that were generated in one environment and applying them to a completely different environment (without showing, or in some cases even attempting to show, that the two environments are analogous in the right way). There are other examples I have explored in other contexts, and many of them are fairly well-known.

An insidious tactic

But there is one example I have only recently come across, and of which I have not yet seen any serious discussion. I am referring to a certain sustained, long-term publication strategy, apparently deliberately carried out (although motivations can be hard to pin down), that results in a stupefying, and in my view dangerous, paper-pile of scientific bullshit. It can be hard to detect, at first, with an untrained eye—you have to know your specific area of research extremely well to begin to see it—but once you do catch on, it becomes impossible to un-see.

I don’t know what to call this insidious tactic (although I will describe it in just a moment). But I can identify its end result, which I suspect researchers of every stripe will be able to recognize from their own sub-disciplines: it is the hyper-partisan and polarized, but by all outward appearances, dispassionate and objective, “systematic review” of a controversial subject.

To explain how this tactic works, I am going make up a hypothetical researcher who engages in it, and walk you through his “process,” step by step. Let’s call this hypothetical researcher Lord Voldemort. While everything I am about to say is based on actual events, and on the real-life behavior of actual researchers, I will not be citing any specific cases (to avoid the drama). Moreover, we should be very careful not to confuse Lord Voldemort for any particular individual. He is an amalgam of researchers who do this; he is fictional.

Lord Voldemort’s “systematic review”

In this story, Lord Voldemort is a prolific proponent of a certain controversial medical procedure, call it X, which many have argued is both risky and unethical. It is unclear whether Lord Voldemort has a financial stake in X, or some other potential conflict of interest. But in any event he is free to press his own opinion. The problem is that Lord Voldemort doesn’t play fair. In fact, he is so intent on defending this hypothetical intervention that he will stop at nothing to flood the literature with arguments and data that appear to weigh decisively in its favor.

As the first step in his long-term strategy, he scans various scholarly databases. If he sees any report of an empirical study that does not put X in an unmitigatedly positive light, he dashes off a letter-to-the-editor attacking the report on whatever imaginable grounds. Sometimes he makes a fair point—after all, most studies do have limitations—but often what he raises is a quibble, couched in the language of an exposé.

These letters are not typically peer-reviewed (which is not to say that peer review is an especially effective quality control mechanism); instead, in most cases, they get a cursory once-over by an editor who is not a specialist in the area. Since journals tend to print the letters they receive unless they are clearly incoherent or in some way obviously out of line (and since Lord Voldemort has mastered the art of using “objective” sounding scientific rhetoric to mask objectively weak arguments and data), they end up becoming a part of the published record with every appearance of being legitimate critiques.

The subterfuge does not end there.

The next step is for our anti-hero to write a “systematic review” at the end of the year (or, really, whenever he gets around to it). In it, He Who Shall Not Be Named predictably rejects all of the studies that do not support his position as being “fatally flawed,” or as having been “refuted by experts”—namely, by himself and his close collaborators, typically citing their own contestable critiques—while at the same time he fails to find any flaws whatsoever in studies that make his pet procedure seem on balance beneficial.

The result of this artful exercise is a heavily skewed benefit-to-risk ratio in favor of X, which can now be cited by unsuspecting third-parties. Unless you know what Lord Voldemort is up to, that is, you won’t notice that the math has been rigged.

So why doesn’t somebody put a stop to all this? As a matter of fact, many have tried. More than once, the Lord Voldemorts of the world have been called out for their underhanded tactics, typically in the “author reply” pieces rebutting their initial attacks. But rarely are these ripostes — constrained as they are by conventionally miniscule word limits, and buried as they are in some corner of the Internet — noticed, much less cited in the wider literature. Certainly, they are far less visible than the “systematic reviews” churned out by Lord Voldemort and his ilk, which constitute a sort of “Gish Gallop” that can be hard to defeat.

Gish Gallop

The term “Gish Gallop” is a useful one to know. It was coined by the science educator Eugenie Scott in the 1990s to describe the debating strategy of one Duane Gish. Gish was an American biochemist turned Young Earth creationist, who often invited mainstream evolutionary scientists to spar with him in public venues. In its original context, it meantto “spew forth torrents of error that the evolutionist hasn’t a prayer of refuting in the format of a debate.” It also referred to Gish’s apparent tendency to simply ignore objections raised by his opponents.

A similar phenomenon can play out in debates in medicine. In the case of Lord Voldemort, the trick is to unleash so many fallacies, misrepresentations of evidence, and other misleading or erroneous statements — at such a pace, and with such little regard for the norms of careful scholarship and/or charitable academic discourse — that your opponents, who do, perhaps, feel bound by such norms, and who have better things to do with their time than to write rebuttals to each of your papers, face a dilemma. Either they can ignore you, or they can put their own research priorities on hold to try to combat the worst of your offenses.

It’s a lose-lose situation. Ignore you, and you win by default. Engage you, and you win like the pig in the proverb who enjoys hanging out in the mud.

Conclusion

As the programmer Alberto Brandolini is reputed to have said: “The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.” This is the unbearable asymmetry of bullshit I mentioned in my title, and it poses a serious problem for research integrity. Developing a strategy for overcoming it, I suggest, should be a top priority for publication ethics.

Footnote

There is a lot of non-bullshit in science as well!

References

Ioannidis JP. Why most published research findings are false. PLoS Medicine 2005;2(8):e124

Button KS et al. Power failure: why small sample size undermines the reliability of neuroscience. Nature Reviews Neuroscience 2013;14(5):365-376

Open Science Collaboration. Estimating the reproducibility of psychological science. Science 2015;349(6251):aac4716

Earp BD, Trafimow D. Replication, falsification, and the crisis of confidence in social psychology. Frontiers in Psychology 2015;6(621):1-11

Earp BD et al. Out, damned spot: can the “Macbeth Effect” be replicated? Basic and Applied Social Psychology 2014;36(1):91-98

Earp BD. Psychology is not in crisis? Depends on what you mean by “crisis.” Huffington Post, 2 Sept 2015 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brian-earp/psychology-is-not-incrisis_b_8077522.html

Earp BD, Everett JAC. How to fix psychology’s replication crisis. Chronicle of Higher Education, 25 Oct 2015 http://chronicle.com/article/How-to-Fix-Psychology-s/233857

Earp BD. Open review of the draft paper, “Replication initiatives will not salvage the trustworthiness of psychology” by James C Coyne. BMC Psychology, 2016 [in press] https://www.academia.edu/21711738/Open_review_of_the_draft_paper _entitled_Replication_initiatives_will_not_salvage_the_trustworthiness_of_psychology_by_James_C._Coyne

Everett JAC, Earp BD. A tragedy of the (academic) commons: interpreting the replication crisis in psychology as a social dilemma for earlycareer researchers. Frontiers in Psychology 2015;6(1152):1-4.

Trafimow D, Earp BD. Badly specified theories are not responsible for the replication crisis in psychology. Theory & Psychology 2016; [in press] https://www.academia.edu/18975122/Badly_specified_theories_are_not _responsible_for_the_replication_crisis_in_social_psychology

Earp BD. Can science tell us what’s objectively true? The New Collection 2011;6(1):1-9 

Nosek BA et al. Scientific utopia II. Restructuring incentives and practices to promote truth over publishability. Perspectives on Psychological Science 2012;7(6):615-631

Rekdal OB. Academic urban legends. Social Studies of Science 2014;44(4):638-654

Peterson D. The baby factory: difficult research objects, disciplinary standards, and the production of statistical significance. Socius 2016 [in press] http://srd.sagepub.com/content/2/2378023115625071.full

Duarte JL et al. Political diversity will improve social psychological science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences 2015 [in press] http://emilkirkegaard.dk/en/wp-content/uploads/Political-DiversityWill-Improve-Social-Psychological-Science-1.pdf

Ball P. The trouble with scientists. Nautilus, 14 May 2015 http://nautil.us/issue/24/error/the-trouble-with-scientists

Marcus G. Science and its skeptics. The New Yorker, 6 Nov 2013 http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/science-and-its-skeptics

Earp BD. Mental shortcuts [unabridged version]. The Hastings Center Report 2016 [in press] https://www.researchgate.net/publication/- 292148550_Mental_shortcuts_unabridged

Ioannidis JP. Limitations are not properly acknowledged in the scientific literature. Journal of Clinical Epidemiology 2007;60(4):324-329

Earp BD. Sex and circumcision. American Journal of Bioethics 2015;15(2):43-45

Bundick S. Promoting infant male circumcision to reduce transmission of HIV: A flawed policy for the US. Health and Human Rights Journal Blog, 31 Aug 2009 http://www.hhrjournal.org/2009/08/promoting-infant-malecircumcision-to-reduce-transmission-of-hiv-a-flawed-policy-for-the-us/

Ploug T, Holm S. Conflict of interest disclosure and the polarisation of scientific communities. Journal of Medical Ethics 2015;41(4):356-358.

Earp BD. Addressing polarisation in science. Journal of Medical Ethics 2015;41(9):782-784

Smith R. Peer review: a flawed process at the heart of science and journals. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine 2006;99(4):178-182

Smith R. Classical peer review: an empty gun. Breast Cancer Research 2010;12(S4):1-4

Roland MC. Publish and perish: hedging and fraud in scientific discourse. EMBO Reports 2007;8(5):424-428

Scott E. Debates and the globetrotters. The Talk Origins Archive. 1994 http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/debating/globetrotters.html

Brandolini A. The bullshit asymmetry principle. Lecture delivered at XP2014 in Rome and at ALE2014 in Krakow. 2014 http://www.slideshare.net/ziobrando/bulshit-asymmetry-principlelightning-talk. 

[antialiasis]

Dear Evan Hansen

So I developed an interest in this musical during my semi-recent Groundhog Day obsession, when thanks to following everything posted about GhD on Tumblr, I ended up on the periphery of the general Broadway/Tony discourse. Everyone was talking about Dear Evan Hansen, either how good it was or how overrated it was, and I stumbled across some post suggesting it involved teens with issues and suicide, at which of course my ears perked up because I am me.

I listened to the soundtrack and read a basic plot summary on Wikipedia. The songs weren't amazingly up my personal musical alley for the most part, but still pretty good, and I was quite intrigued by the character work in them - the increasingly obvious wish-fulfillment of Evan's story in For Forever, culminating in the choked-up repetition of "He's coming to get me", suggesting without having to say directly that actually no one came to get him; the repeated "falling in a forest" motif never quite saying he let go but making it clear this moment was more meaningful than one would expect long before the plot summary indicated we'd find out he'd been suicidal; Zoe's subtle denial in Requiem; the tragic irony of Evan inspiring everyone with a speech about how you will be found when he knows better than anyone that sometimes you won't. This was good shit! I wanted to try to see it on the same trip as Groundhog Day, but the tickets were all well sold out, and ultimately I more or less gave up on the possibility. (I'd actually missed that there was a lottery for the show, but we tried it when we were in New York and didn't win.)

It just wouldn't quite leave me alone, though, so with no prospects for being able to see it legitimately at any point in the foreseeable future, I ended up giving up and watching a bootleg.

(Excessive overcritical rambling about characterization, subtlety, etc. under the cut! It is very critical, so by all means scroll on by if that’s not your jam.)

After all the mental buildup, I ended up sort of underwhelmed by the actual show, unfortunately. When I listened to the soundtrack I'd filled in blanks, imagining all the rich development that might be happening in between the songs - Evan slowly growing closer to Connor's dad before To Break In a Glove, say. But actually watching it, it felt like there was a lot less development than I'd imagined. There isn't really anything about Evan growing closer to Connor's dad other than the song itself, or a lot of development for Connor's dad at all outside of it. Zoe's conflicted feelings about Connor, legitimate fear and hatred coupled with a strange, paradoxical longing for him to really have had a better side to him that actually loved her, are fascinating, but aren't really explored outside of what I'd already heard in Requiem and If I Could Tell Her - Zoe's role ends up being mostly about being the target of Evan's dubiously ethical romantic interest, without really tackling the things about her that were actually interesting.

When I first listened to the soundtrack, I didn't actually pick up on Jared or Alana existing as characters. I'm not great at discerning voices on a first listen, so while for example Sincerely, Me was a bit confusing, I parsed it just as a dialogue between Evan and the imaginary Connor in his head, with "Connor" making the sardonic suggestions to ridicule Evan's pathetic efforts in between theatrically reading out what Evan was typing. They were in the plot summary, though, so I figured it out eventually, and the Tumblr fandom was full of posts about Jared and Alana - how complex they were, how much people related to them, everyone shipping Evan with Jared (of course). So I looked forward to seeing more of these characters that the soundtrack didn't really show off.

As it turned out, though, they weren't much in the way of characters, really. There are a couple of lines about Alana's anxiety and how she also feels like she's alone and doesn't matter - but they're ultimately throwaways. Alana is mostly just a plot point, as the person who's invested enough in the Connor Project to care but still detached enough to start to notice and question the discrepancies in Evan's story. Her dialogue is almost entirely either pure plot advancement or jokes; she may be secretly troubled and anxious, and eventually she spells out that she originally latched onto the Connor Project because of that, but the show just keeps kind of making fun of her - the most prominent characterization she gets is the running gag where she acts like she was so totally close to Connor while making it obvious she actually barely knew he existed - and she doesn't really get to act out the complexity the show wants to imply. We never see the Connor Project affecting her life, or get a real sense that it's giving her meaning that she was lacking before; it's told and not shown. That makes sense for a minor character who's mostly there to play a role in the plot, but the fandom had made me expect a lot more, and I really think she could have been done a lot more interestingly if they'd just spent less time making jokes about her.

And Jared... is desperately unlikeable. A lot of people on Tumblr were criticizing the play for not punishing Evan enough for his actions - but at the same time everyone was in love with Jared. This is baffling, because as far as I can see, it's pretty much Jared who ropes Evan into this in the first place. Evan originally tries to tell the Murphys that Connor didn't actually write the 'suicide note', but they dismiss him and Cynthia acts extremely upset, and Evan is too timid to try to be firm and argue with these grieving parents in order to explain to them that actually their dead son had no friends. After this he's panicking and anxious about having to clear up the misunderstanding, but it's Jared who convinces him he absolutely can't tell them the truth and has to just smile and nod and keep up the pretense. After this, Jared relentlessly mocks and bullies Evan as the lie spirals out of control, makes a silly attempt to insert himself into it, gets mad when Evan says they must stick to the established story where Jared necessarily wasn't involved, then gets hurt and complains when Evan stops hanging out with him once he's got something else to do and other people who like him. Obviously Evan is in no way an innocent party here - he does start to latch onto the fantasy of this imaginary friendship with Connor and this doting family that wants and likes him, and soon he's clearly keeping up the charade for himself and not to make Connor's family feel better. But none of this would have happened if it weren't for Jared convincing him he absolutely needed to keep up the lie, yet what Jared says when it's all gotten out of hand isn't "Look, I'm sorry, this is wrong, I was wrong, you should have told them the truth from the start", but "You should remember who your friends are." Maybe Evan would remember who his friends are if you'd ever been anything resembling an actual friend to him, Jared! I gather stage directions and cut songs and so on show that Jared actually has a very low self-esteem and is covering up his insecurities with sarcasm and bullying behaviour, which is great, but I wish any of that really got through in the actual play, because in the actual play Jared is just intensely unsympathetic. As it stands, his narrative function is to show how friendless Evan is (the best he's got is this guy, who freely tells him he only hangs out with him because he's literally being paid for it) and to be the person who's callous enough to think lying to a grieving family about being friends with their dead son to save face is okay, because Evan is actually better than that and wouldn't have done it otherwise. Like with Alana, I'm sure there's something interesting there, in theory, that the actor taps into while playing him. But within the actual show, the way he acts by and large isn't interestingly informed by his insecurity; he's just being a mean-spirited, bullying, opportunistic asshole. He has no real redeeming qualities and then just kind of vanishes abruptly from the story towards the end, before he gets the chance to even react to the lie being (partly) exposed (which could have been a nice opportunity to show him being a non-dick for once).

I was also sad to discover that in the actual play, things that were subtle and interesting on the soundtrack are just spelled out. Evan explains in so many words near the very beginning, before we even hear For Forever, that he broke his arm because he fell out of a tree and the funny thing is nobody came to get him so he was just lying on the ground alone for a while. That beautiful, emotional repetition in the song - And I see him coming to get me. He's coming to get me. And everything's okay. - isn't using Evan's emotion as he makes up a false wish-fulfillment narrative to implicitly tell you about something that really happened; it's just a straightforward lie contradicting something established explicitly earlier on. There's nothing wrong with that, but man, I thought it was something sublime. Even stuff like To Break In a Glove - on the soundtrack, Evan says, "Connor was really lucky to have a dad who... who cared so much, about... taking care of stuff," and it establishes nicely, implicitly, that Evan's own dad never cared and never played baseball with him, which Connor's dad clearly understands in the pause that follows even though he doesn't remark on it directly and just reiterates his instructions about the glove. But in the actual thing, they spell it out. A moment that wasn't a big crowning moment of subtlety or anything but still nicely understated, trusting the listener to get the implied meaning without stating it outright, isn't even that. That's a bit disappointing.

I wonder if in some previous iteration of the story it used to be subtler, but they later made it more explicit to make it easier to follow. That or, you know, I extrapolated subtlety simply from having incomplete information. One of the two. (If it's the latter, though, I'm amused at how coincidentally good that incomplete information is.)

I was also surprised by just how little we learn about the actual Connor, even after seeing Tumblr jokes about Mike Faist being nominated for a Tony for spending fifteen minutes onstage. I expected fifteen minutes meant we'd see just enough of Connor to be able to form a reasonably complete picture along with the stuff we'd learn second-hand - but we don't really get to form any clear picture of Connor at all. We see that he smokes weed, that he suffers from severe paranoia, that he has violent episodes. There's, I think, pretty much exactly one scene giving real, subtle, humanizing insight into his character - the one in the computer lab, where Connor talks to Evan and signs his cast despite his outburst earlier (showing that he awkwardly wants to make up for shoving Evan but is still unwilling to directly apologize or address it), and he jokes about how they can both pretend they're friends (implying he too might be lonely and wishes he had friends, and if things had gone differently perhaps they could have become friends for real), but then when he sees Evan's letter referring to Zoe, he lashes out with sudden intense paranoia again and pushes him away (implying he does care about his sister on some level, as well as showing just how bad his mental health issues are and giving an idea of why he's not exactly popular). This one scene really is very good and exactly the sort of thing I wanted from this musical! But this is his last scene before he dies, and the majority of Connor's time onstage is as the imaginary version of him in Evan's head, which isn't very well developed and doesn't have very much to do with the real Connor. Moreover, we don't end up learning very much from Connor's family after his suicide at all. They used to have picnics at an apple orchard; Connor once had an episode where he screamed he was going to kill Zoe; that's pretty much about it. I was expecting imaginary Connor to kind of be developed as a character in his own right, based on Evan's perception of what the actual Connor was like at school, but imaginary Connor doesn't end up getting much in the way of characterization, instead serving more as a mouthpiece to manifest some of Evan's inner monologue as it pertains to how he relates to Connor and projects his own feelings and experiences onto him. That kind of makes sense, since Evan knows basically nothing about Connor, but just the same, it feels like a missed opportunity to flesh out Connor's character in general. When Connor and the made-up fantasy of him that Evan creates are such a huge part of the story, it seems natural to make use of the real Connor to compare and contrast Evan's fantasy Connor, but the show ultimately doesn't really go there, and Connor remains kind of just the potential to be a character more than a real character. I think that's a shame; it'd be fascinating to get a good look into the mind of someone with Connor's kind of severe mental health issues (as opposed to Evan's anxiety, which is much easier for an average person to grasp and relate to), and I think it'd strengthen the show's commentary on teen suicide if the kid who took his own life were a real, developed character that we can properly understand and empathize with.

All that having been said, though, it's still a good show. I might have appreciated it more if I hadn't spent weeks making up my own version in my head before I gave in and watched the bootleg, but there are still a lot of things it does do really, really well. Evan's anxiety and general self-hatred and character progression is well portrayed; he's relatable and sympathetic while making hugely misguided, horrible choices, with real, intriguing psychological depth actually driving the things he does. And some things really are good and subtle in the final product, like Evan relating to Connor and projecting onto him because he'd been suicidal himself, the general hints at that fact before it actually comes to light. So Big / So Small is genuinely one of the best-done tearjerker songs I've ever heard; the truck story is kind of cheesy but it's so cute and childlike and tragic and spaced out in the perfect way with Heidi's feelings of being helpless and overwhelmed. Heidi in general is such a good character; she's trying so hard, and loves him so much, but she has to get by and just doesn't have the ability to be there for him as consistently as someone like Cynthia. And with how hard she works, and how much she loves him, of course it hurts her to learn her son has found this second family behind her back, a family of rich strangers that feel sorry for her and want to give her handouts. She's so flawed and I love her.

(After Anybody Have a Map?, where Cynthia and Heidi's experiences of trying their hardest for their sons when they don't really know how are compared, I was hoping they'd both be getting similar levels of development, but alas, Cynthia definitely gets the short end of the stick. She gets more development than Connor's dad, and the way she unlike the rest of her family unreservedly loved her son in spite of everything is interesting, but again, without actually getting much insight into Connor, it's hard to gain a complete understanding of why she feels that way, or of her mental state in general.)

Requiem is a really beautiful song and my favorite in the show, although the aforementioned So Big / So Small kind of needs its own scale because damn. Sincerely, Me is very catchy. The "To disappear, disappear" chorus of Disappear was one of the first bits that stuck with me on the soundtrack, particularly the way the quiet abruptness of the latter "disappear" actually conveys the feeling of disappearing. Good for You and Anybody Have a Map? are both good.

And the performances are very good in general. Rachel Bay Jones as Heidi may actually be my favorite because as I explained above I really like Heidi, and Ben Platt's anxiety as Evan is palpable and believable. I may not like Jared the character, but Will Roland does nail the role, I think. And of course, I'm sure the show is much better live than watching a bootleg. Live theater is a whole different experience, and if I ever do get a good chance to see it properly, I'll go for it.

(But I liked Groundhog Day better.)

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters Season 3 Episode 8, A Heart of Darkness Review

Welcome to another Shadowhunters review. Because I love to torture myself with ridiculous and illogical writing. But actually this week's episode, whereas it was ridiculous and illogical, I didn't hate this episode. It wasn't great but for an hour of television, I could tolerate it. So here we are with Season 3 Episode 8, A Heart of Darkness.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I'm not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I'm too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that's how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I'm just watching to see what happens. If you're a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these. I'm just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer. 

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you're the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that's on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that's the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I'm not telling YOU how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I'm critical about this show, it's only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It's great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don't really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn't create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it's perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie. 

This episode could actually have been very enjoyable if the show had bothered to take its time with previous character arcs. There were quite a few character moments that made me legitimately feel things in this episode. Not enough to cry or anything like that but if the show had bothered to learn that you don't have to cover two books a season and slow down in which case they would've had time to properly explore and flesh out some of these character dynamics, it would've resulted in me probably being moved to tears in this episode. But unfortunately, the show did not do that so what could've been very emotional moments just continues to fall flat. And I realize I just contradicted myself a little there so let me explain. I did feel things in this episode for the characters but the characters and their relationship dynamics have been so shakily developed that it was more me feeling for these characters as if they were their book counterparts. I'll delve more into this explanation as I go through this review. 

The Episode Where Shadowhunters Got All Teen Wolf On Us

You know, I'm not even mad that Shadowhunters pretty much stole an entire plot point from another supernatural teen drama. Shadowhunters does love its tropes even though when they do it, their version is somehow much more boring than the original plot point it was inspired from but that's beside the point. And honestly, if you're going to take a plot point from another supernatural teem drama, you can do a lot worse than Teen Wolf. Not to mention, the specific plot arc they used from Teen Wolf is one of my favorites with the plot highlighted by the amazing character relationships of the Sciles (Scott/Stiles) bromance and the slowest of slow burns, Stydia (Stiles/Lydia). Both were amazing character dynamics within the show that I greatly enjoyed. R.I.P. Teen Wolf. I still miss you.

Shadowhunters didn't do quite as well with this plot as Teen Wolf did simply because Shadowhunters does very little to actively develop their characters in general but nonetheless, I did quite enjoy this plot point, flaws and all. 

This segment was probably my favorite of the entire episode. Alec and Izzy going to help bring Jace's soul back to the surface was really interesting. The show has spent so much time on these character's love lives that a lot of times we forget that these three have spent most of their childhood together. That they do have real bonds with each other. From what we've been told, they were a moderately successful team before they met Clary and it was really great to see that dynamic again. In the book, it's actually Clary who's able to break through Jace's possession and it works there. But for the show, it's definitely something that makes more sense if Alec and Izzy were the ones to do it. Show Clace just doesn’t have the relationship foundation to make that plot point not cheesy. I suppose the show could still go back and make Clary be the one to do it and just like earlier this season, it'll still be cheesy and I'll still hate it. So I'm really hoping the show doesn't go for that. That it'll be Alec and Izzy that will motivate Jace to push past the possession. But at the same time, I’m not holding my breath for that one. This is Shadowhunters after all; I’m not sure it knows how to not be cheesy and cliché.

I really enjoyed how we got to see Alec, Izzy, and Jace sparring with each other as kids. The dialogue was cringey as hell but the actual idea behind the scene I really enjoyed. I liked the song that Izzy sang to Jace. I thought that it was a really nice touch and I certainly never expected the show to use that song. It's not in the context of how it was used in the books but I felt like it was very effectively used in this scene. And Emeraude's pronunciation of french wasn't half bad, either, so I'll give her that. I like how the first part of their journey starts with "Three go in, three come out." And the journey ends with the same "Three go in, three come out." If you haven't stuck with me through my Supernatural re-watch you wouldn't know this, but I'm a huge sap for episodic symmetry. I absolutely love it when that sort of thing happens. Shadowhunters needs to do more of that instead of having these one-off scenes that have no bearing for the rest of the episode and the rest of the season for that matter. And then the plot point ends with Alec and Izzy in total despair after Lillith gets Jace again when they promised it wouldn't happen. Which I also really enjoyed. Obviously, not the part where they're in deep emotional pain but, you know, plot symmetry. 

Of course, not everything with this plot was great. For starters, the insinuation that Alec's parabatai bond is the strongest connection there is has me a little iffy. The show's version of a parabatai bond's strength goes up and down. It has no consistency so I have a really hard time believing that one. Then Magnus also talks about how what he's doing is super dangerous and it could be the end for Alec and I'm just like, "As opposed to when?" Whenever Alec does stuff like this, he always ends up in the worst possible shape. Seriously, if we're to look at the parabatai bond through the eyes of the show, why would anyone ever want a parabatai? Other than to receive an abundance of tracking abilities, that is. I wish the show would stop focusing on the dramatic elements of parabatai-ness and start showing the positives of having a parabatai. Because at this point, I see none. 

I also wish we got an explanation just in general of how this process of going into Jace's mind works. It feels really convenient that for starters, Magnus has the ability to project Alec into Jace's mind using the parabatai bond and then he also has the ability to bring Izzy along for the ride as well. How? Who knows. I guess it's a spell that Magnus just happens to know even though it doesn't really make sense that Magnus would have any ability to influence runic magic. This sounds more like something a Silent Brother would be able to do as opposed to a warlock. Warlocks have power to manipulate demon magic. The runes stem from angelic magic. His magic shouldn't have any power over angelic magic. But I should stop this. The apocalypse will hit before this show ever explains its magic system or its world-building. And I'm talking fire and brim stone apocalypse not that whole Walking Dead/zombie apocalypse thing society is currently obsessed with. The zombie fad is dumb and I hate The Walking Dead with a blood searing passion.

And again, kind of an issue with the plot is how little we have to go on with Jace, Alec, and Izzy's relationship. This is what I meant when I felt emotional about scenes but it was more on the behalf of the book characters than the show characters. We haven't really been given a lot on the show about how Jace, Alec, and Izzy functioned together so it was easier for me to use the book counterparts as surrogates in this scene and that's what got me emotional. Thinking about how the book characters would react in this kind of situation is what illicited an emotional response with me. Whereas the show characters aren’t too terribly written, I don’t have much of a connection with any of them and we have this show’s dialogue and poorly executed plots to blame for that.

I'm also going to be nitpicky here. Why was Lillith having Jace stab Clary over and over in his head? In order to make sure Clary couldn't reach him anymore, Lillith had to take away his love for Clary with an anti-love potion. He supposedly doesn't love her anymore so why would him continuously stabbing Clary in his head be an effective means for torture? He doesn't love her so he shouldn't be affected by it. I feel like I’m missing something here.

Also, not sure why Asmodeus would care if LIllith killed Magnus. Why would he care about some half-human whelp that resides in one of many hundreds of dimensions out there? It makes sense why Lillith cares about Jonathon because her ability to have children was taken from her so she clings to Jonathon. However, Asmodeus is hardly in that same boat. He can have any number of children in the hundreds of dimensions he can visit. Why would he care about Magnus? I guess we'll see whenever he gets introduced. I’m honestly not excited for that.

Like with Lillith, anything Owl Jace had to say was super bland and uninteresting. And nothing he had to say was all that ground-breaking or hurtful. It's like insulting someone while you're tired. You're literally too tired to put any bite behind your insults. You're just insulting for the sake of insulting. It was super obvious that he was talking and no one really cared what he had to say. I certainly didn't. And I'm not entirely certain why Simon thought yelling at Owl Jace was somehow going to make Jace feel bad. Was he not told that Jace is being possessed? It was really weird and I didn't care about it. It was cheaply manufactured drama and that’s the worst kind. Owl Jace also made a comment about Alec being with Magnus but at the same time truly wanting to be with Jace instead and I'm just like, "Where the hell did this come from?" Alec being in love with Jace hasn't been talked about since Season 1. I didn't even realize this was still an issue within their character dynamics. The show definitely should've re-introduced this particular character dynamic before mentioning it in this episode. But they probably didn’t have any time what with the million and one side characters they have in this show.

Clary's Interrogation

This entire episode, we have Clary being interrogated by the Mortal Sword and in what it accomplishes, it works. But what it does with her character, I dislike. So initially last episode, I had this head canon that the reason Clary decided to stay behind unnecessarily was because she's dealing with a lot of guilt regarding the consequences that have arisen from her using the wish on Jace. This is her way of making amends for what's happened. I'm all for this character arc obviously because Clary never being held accountable for her actions is something I despise about this show's writing. I really want Clary to "grow-up" (even though she's 18 and she should already have been taught that decisions have consequences a long time ago) and learn that there are consequences. That just because you break the law for the right reasons doesn't absolve you of guilt. You do a bad thing for the right reasons? That doesn't make the bad thing a good thing. You should still be willing to hold yourself accountable for the bad things that happen as a result. In this way, Clary is very similar to her father. Valentine did a whole mess of terrible things and he attached a bunch of justifications to those bad things in order to make them good things in his eyes and refused to hold himself accountable for the lives he destroyed. Looking at it through this, can you really say Clary is much better despite all of her protests? If she goes unchecked, Clary is surprisingly a lot like her father. So I was really hoping that Clary was having a bit of an epiphany and I was super excited to see this play out. 

But no. Apparently, the only reason she's doing this is to buy time for everyone else. And this makes absolutely no sense. When the Clave apprehended her, they didn't know who dug up the grave. They literally only know the story BECAUSE she stayed behind. Because they had someone to use the Mortal Sword on to tell them who dug up the grave. If she had went with everyone else, the Clave still wouldn't have had any idea what's going on. My head canon makes sense but what the show did instead makes absolutely no sense. It just makes our heroine look dumb and not in a "this makes sense for her character" dumb because I respect that sometimes characters make dumb decisions based on their character arcs. This is just dumb story-telling that wasn't properly thought out at its conception and no one bothered to tweek it. Seriously, who edits these scripts? Does no one in the Shadowhunters writing room care that their show makes no sense? That their characters are dumb simply because the plot demands them to be but yet they still expect the audience to view the characters as these legitimate, hyper-intelligent adults? Shouldn't you as a writer care about something like that? Why do the writers have zero respect for their audience's intelligence? Because I've got to believe that these writers realize how dumb their characters are and they're just hoping the audience will go with it. And the truly depressing part is that I wish I could say that this is only a problem Shadowhunters has. But I've seen other Freeform shows and they also display the same level of lazy writing. If Freeform wants to get on the level with CW, it's not going to be enough for them to be more "edgy" (and they’re barely edgy as it is), they also need to work out the kinks in their story-telling. That's where their real problem lies.

And Clary, for whatever reason, can resist the Mortal Sword which, eww. Mary Sue attacks again. I get that this episode was attempting to exposit information to the Clave so our characters are on a time crunch. But it was completely unnecessary for Clary to have this ability to be able to resist the sword and just further pushes her into the Mary Sue archetype. At this point, we get it. Clary is strong and amazing. The show's really laying this theme on thick. You would have to have an IQ of -900 not to have picked up on that Clary is supposed to be strong. Seriously, what does this show have against allowing Clary to be vulnerable? Even in her emotional moments, she lacks vulnerability. Because even when she cries, she's still perceived as better than everyone else because she has the audacity to show how she's feeling. That her feelings is what makes her better than everyone else. Clary eventually, in probably her biggest Mary Sue moment ever, is able to push the sword away from her and tells the Clave she's happy she used the wish. Because it stops anyone else from being able to use it to destroy the downworlders. And I can't help but feel she's making a lot of assumptions about the Clave here. That if they were to ever use the wish, she believes that they'll use it to rid everyone of demon blood. The only one who's guilty of that is Valentine. She has no idea if the Clave made a wish, it would include downworlders. It might but it might not. It's all in how you word the wish. 

But at the end of the episode, Jia Penhallow (Aline's mother) asks Clary if she has any final words before she places punishment and Clary asks Jia to think if it were Aline, and Jia was in the same situation, wouldn't she have done it for Aline? And Jia just verbally bitch smacks Clary by stating no, she wouldn't have. Because she understands that there's things in this world bigger than her and her daughter. That being a shadowhunter is about sacrifice. I'm not too fond of the overarching theme that shadowhunters aren't allowed to feel which seems to be what's driving this scene (honestly that particular theme can curl up and die in Season 1) but I do like the idea that despite Jia loving her daughter, she would let her daughter go if she had to weigh her daughter against the fate of the entire world. And Clary has always kind of scoffed at the idea of shadowhunters "being dead inside" as she so blatantly stated once in Season 1. She views it as a flaw within their society and in certain aspects, it is a flaw. Love can make you stronger and them shutting emotion out completely is a bad thing that I hate that the show decided to implement but when it comes to doing what's right and helping the most amount of people which is what shadowhunters exist for, you have to accept that sometimes sacrifices are necessary. And shadowhunters live a life where dying young is something that's expected and they come to terms with it at a very young age. They respect that in order to save the world, they may have to give everything up. That's the cost for the power they received. So in that respect, I do like what Jia is saying here and it's definitely something Clary needs to hear. Hopefully, this will spur some much necessary character development Clary’s way.

Then Jia sentences Clary to death and of course the show chooses the most dramatic punishment possible. Honestly, I feel like death is the wrong punishment to give here. It's kind of giving Clary the easy way out (not that I believe for a second that Clary is actually going to die) but if it were me, I would want Clary to survive to watch the repercussions of her actions. For her to see the world be seeped into hopeless despair. That's the kind of punishment I would give Clary. For her to see just how much her actions could have destroyed the world. But like I said, this whole death sentence scene is completely moot because we all know she's gong to escape. 

I know this section turned into a bit of a rant but to be clear, I do appreciate what this plot accomplishes i.e. the Clave finding out about Jace and Clary being put in a tight situation however I do not appreciate what it does for Clary as a character. I was hoping for some character growth but it doesn't look like we're going to get it. 

Simon/Maia/Jordan Love Triangle in Full Swing

Now that I've finished with my rant lets get on to another thing I liked. I really enjoyed how the Simon/Maia/Jordan love triangle played out. It was awkward when it needed to be, it was dramatic when it needed to be. Really the only thing I wish the show had done more of was develop Simon and Jordan's bromance a little more. Because it really feels like they've known each other for at most a week. If we take the Maia drama out of the mix, it feels a little contrived that Simon feels this betrayed over a guy he barely knows. Also, I’m sad that it looks like the Jace/Jordan/Simon bromance isn't actually going to play out. Damn you, writers. You had a chance to actually make your show fun and interesting and you blew it because you insist on covering two books a season when it isn't necessary. Just slow down and have fun with the characters. Why are the writers in such a rush to get through the books? They don't have the rights to The Dark Artifices/Shadowhunter Academy/Bane Chronicles. They only have The Infernal Devices and I find it highly unlikely Freeform is willing to produce a period drama. And if the show's attempt at original characters is anything to go by, I really don't have a lot of faith that they can pull off their own original story arcs. At least not in the interesting way Vampre Diaries and The 100 manage. 

I really liked how Maia's drama with Jordan unfolded. It's true. It would be so much easier for Maia to hate Jordan if he was still the same person that left her bleeding out in the woods. But he isn't and she's having a lot of problems dealing with this. And I do enjoy seeing this sort of complexity with these characters. It's not something this show is very good with. So when it does happen, it's always a real treat. Hopefully, the show won’t drop the ball on this.

Time To Talk About Lillith

It's that time again. I guess I have to summon up a section to talk about Lillith, the blandest of the bland. Her blandness even rivals Show Valentine's. Also it would be nice if Lillith would stop sucking as a villain. She keeps on failing in her plans and it’s really difficult for me to take her seriously. She's basically the Rita Repulsa of Shadowhunters.

So first off, what is going on with Ollie? Is she possessed or is her blood tainted? I really can't tell. If she was possessed, why would she be surprised by the power Lillith has? But I suppose the real question is when will Ollie die already? Seriously, just have her fall off a building or something at this point. I don't care. Just get rid of her. She's a boring character and stop wasting screen time on her and give that screen time to characters I actually care about. I don't even care that she's an LGBT character. She does nothing I care about. And honestly, I really hate it when LGBT characters are put into a book or show just to make a statement about how progressive they are. I love having LGBT characters but I only want them to be in the story if they contribute to the narrative. If they have little to no place within the story, I want them gone. All I care about is them as characters. If you're not going to do anything with them, then what's the point? And I feel the same way in regards to hetero characters. If you don't add anything to the story, I want you gone.

Let's talk about this business with the seelie queen. So Lillith attackes the seelie queen's knights because she wants the seelie queen to take the mark off Simon. And I actually like the idea that the seelie queen's reasoning for marking Simon was to protect him because the seelies believe in protecting those who are unique. It makes sense. They're immortal so they need unique creatures to pass the time. But I really don't like how weak the seelie queen was protrayed here. I don't think it's in character for her at all. Even if she's beaten, she's still 5 steps ahead of everyone. She's immortal, basically ageless, she knows she'll get her revenge. She's patient. I couldn't get behind this moment because it didn't feel like the seelie queen. It just felt very convenient and didn't align at all with the character we’ve seen previously.

And the episode ends with Lillith escaping with Jace. Nice to know my prediction this weekend was corrcet. Owl Jace did escape and it was for dumb and contrived reasons. I'm very disappointed in you, show. Quit being so predictable.

Overall, even though it felt like I ranted about a few things, I did enjoy this episode in a way I haven't enjoyed the show in a while. It wasn't good, it wasn't bad, but I could tolerate it. It had some nice character moments which I lived for and bits of the plot weren't half bad. Truthfully, if the show spent a little more time building up their character dynamics, this episode might've been able to move me to tears. I'd probably give this episode a B- to B. Like an 84%. Not bad at all. Next week is the two hour finale so those episodes better be good. I can barely focus on this show for 42 minutes. These episodes better be something special to warrant airing the episodes 9 and 10 back to back.

As always, I'm open to discuss this episode with anyone. Did you agree? Did you disagree? Just remember these are my thoughts and opinions. I'm not telling you how to think and feel. I'm telling you what I think and feel. I don't police anyone on fandom so I expect that you don't police me and we'll get along fine.

[kingofattolia]

a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi

TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. .  one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals

THE GOOD

“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”

it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel 

Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died

FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G

“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”

Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. .  and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...

Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session

Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber

projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..

Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head

summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal

Leia’s mary poppins action

Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish

POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud

everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this

Snoke smacking him into the floor

Kylo smacking him into the wall

Kylo force choking him

slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot

Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌

LET'S GO, CHROME DOME

i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over

when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey

Chewy breaking down Luke's door

when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .

kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO

this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD

it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE

THE TEAM UP FIGHT

i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome

when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him

when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌

when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE

"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "

not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN

I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT

THIS IS BRAND NEW

"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"

the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!

"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...

the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait

"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"

Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome

absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait

"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"

"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"

when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔

"do you think you got him?"

when Luke faces Kylo

WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO

this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me

"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."

absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted

"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"

the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's

when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER

this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend

"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."

the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there

"see you around, kid"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH

"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"

when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face

THE BAD

Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS

the casino subplot. . .  it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .

BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly

for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus

why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards

honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn

WHAT THE FRICK

im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot

Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision

LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP

like... do you see my problem?

character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin

because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night

it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor

maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that

luke skywalker is not a bad person

rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable

i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it

bye felicia

"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK

a related point..... Luke is a coward.

i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.

dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that

what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia

???? the frick???

"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE

"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?

if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward

that is not Luke Skywalker

honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"

the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"

a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies

guys... i'm tired

it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?

why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out

there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?

what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?

i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence

if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"

[perfectirishgifts]

A Betrothal To Data Is Also A Marriage To Cloud

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/a-betrothal-to-data-is-also-a-marriage-to-cloud/

A Betrothal To Data Is Also A Marriage To Cloud

NEW YORK, NEW YORK – DECEMBER 07: A bride and a groom visit the New York Public Library as the city … [] continues the re-opening efforts following restrictions imposed to slow the spread of coronavirus on December 07, 2020 in New York City. The pandemic has caused long-term repercussions throughout the tourism and entertainment industries, including temporary and permanent closures of historic and iconic venues, costing the city and businesses billions in revenue. (Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images)

Technology evangelists love data. Talking about data makes them sound smart and considered, it allows them to make reference to deep-layer technologies like the neural networks that are building the Artificial Intelligence (AI) brains of the immediate future… and it sounds a whole lot more academically contemplative than any more general reference to ‘information’… almost as if any notion of information itself was ever really any different to the mathematically intricate world of data analytics and data management.

The unfortunate side effect of data being so prevalent, populous and all-pervading in modern IT systems is that data has sometimes become a throwaway term in some senses. Users today are often more focused on which app, which device, which online web service and which user interface option they’re going to have to play with, rather than the provenance, progeny and posterity of the data streams that feed all of the upper-tier technology layers that they actually touch every day.

Data betrothment is a happy marriage

This is an inconvenient truth because data remains a dynamic ‘thing’ still evolving into many different forms… all of which an enterprise organization should plight its troth to on a daily (if not hourly 24×7) basis. Businesses today, of any size, in any vertical, must be betrothed to their data. Further still, like any couple, data will move house from time to time… but at least in this case, we can say that the home always has the same roof over its head, as it has to reside in the world of hybrid cloud.

The world of data has given us the notion of the so-called ‘datasphere’. Back in 2010, it was comparable to every person on the planet having approximately 65 gigabytes of data each. Today in 2020, that figure has risen to 1,210 gigabytes per person. It will be 6,500 gigabytes per person by 2025.

The birth of online data marketplaces

What happens next in the datasphere is a compound effect where users themselves not only continue to create their own vortex of information, but a new type of information intercourse starts to happen. Online data marketplaces and exchanges where multinationals buy and sell data are now starting to flourish — and as many as a third of enterprise companies may be using these systems in the next couple of years.

Amit Walia, CEO at Informatica says that access to this external data obviously has a positive effect on corporate decision-making for most organizations. But the data playbooks we were using as recently as 18-months ago have gone out of the window, clearly in large part due to the massive globally disruptive events of 2020. Pre-pandemic data planning models for many firms are no longer accurate. 

But Informatica’s Walia suggests that there is a defined way forward here. Organizations have realized that they can integrate outside data into their simulations to improve forecasting and run different scenarios to be able to rapidly change course as needed. However, bringing in external data from online marketplaces does come with its challenges.

He explains how the legal and compliance team at one large insurance provider his firm works with has established a framework to help address some of these challenges and assess risk (legal, regulatory, reputational, ethical). Frameworks like this help businesses assess the type of external data that the company can bring in, the parameters needed to combine it with internal data, then the all-important issues of compliance and security. All of which are essential to maintaining trust.

“Without trust in data, companies won’t be able to earn the trust of consumers, regulators, employees and partners alike. If companies want to monetize data assets through marketplaces, they must set the right governance benchmarks and treat privacy as a top priority,” said Walia.

Within the acceptable boundaries of marriage

Addressing structural problems such as these are part of the reason why the EU Commission recently admitted that its General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) has been hard to implement. The Commission says that GDPR, “Equips the independent data protection authorities with stronger and harmonized enforcement powers and sets up a new governance system. It also creates a level playing field for all companies operating in the EU market.”

But while the GDPR has helped harmonize the rules across EU member states, there still remains a degree of fragmentation and diverging approaches across organizations. Walia says that to overcome these challenges, it’s important to bring together business and technical stakeholders so that those responsible can understand the data flow, processes and appropriate legitimate uses that comply with GDPR and map these to organizational policies.

“Anonymizing data, combined with a sound privacy and data protection plan that also considers data classes, assesses data exposure and prioritizes what’s most critical is the right approach. The same governance strategy should apply to other regulations outside the EU such as The California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA) or Singapore’s Personal Data Protection Act (PDPA), said Walia.

For exemplars of best practice, we need to look no further than many of the world’s biggest tech firms, which Walia says are very conscious of the fact that consumers are now, more than ever, worried about how their data is used and stored. They realized first-hand that consumer trust and better privacy practice were essential to their long-term success.

But there are other sectors that are also paving the way. Walia cites the highly regulated financial and healthcare sectors that are seeing these new data challenges as a way to innovate. For healthcare, the pandemic has led to the integration of mobile apps and telemedicine in record time. In other segments, such as retail and manufacturing, more effective data management can be a competitive advantage for managing supply chains, products and customer data. 

Data’s ‘I do’: a commitment to cloud

But whilst these examples show a clear case for innovation, the biggest hurdle for most is what Walia calls a touch of cloud commitment phobia. The number one priority for everyone right now is business resiliency, as businesses attempt to weather the storm and prepare for the rebound.

He acknowledges that most companies are perhaps only 20% on their way to cloud implementations – some a little less, some a little more. But while the biggest barrier to going cloud-first used to be security (or more accurately, perceived security), that dramatically changed in 2020 as organizations were forced to go digital due much more rapidly.

“Going cloud-first, cloud-native is no longer just a ‘maybe’ or nice to have, it’s a lifeline. So for those wedded and betrothed to their data, the goal is also to be very much married to the cloud. But as ever, this all boils down to culture. What’s needed is a mindset that puts data at the center of the business transformation. From there, we can determine the right skillsets, by taking action to employ a Chief Data Officer (CDO) and data analysts and, once they are in place, assess the technologies needed and develop the right solution.

Informatica’s offering in this space is known as The Informatica Intelligent Data Platform, a technology built on a microservices-based, API-driven and AI-powered architecture. This type of platform extension could well be the next ‘we have one too’ add-on that major tech vendors all attempt to tell us that they have capabilities in. Low-code application tooling is currently experiencing the same ‘revolution’. While Informatica is primarily known as a cloud data management and integration company and not as a dedicated data exchange innovator, pure-play specialists such as Dawex do exist that specialize in data exchange platform technology as a core competency.

Like most things, it is not an either-or scenario for skills and tech. From a skills perspective, in addition to formal training, creating common definitions and business glossaries for data can help increase data literacy across all employees. But even with the right skills, they won’t be able to keep up with the sheer volume of data and the growing number of data sources without the right technology.

As businesses now form a new and closer betrothment to their data, we may need to welcome in a few new partners into the relationship within acceptable behavior guidelines which will need to be clearly tabled and agreed upon before any bizarre love triangles start to develop.

Data, do you take information exchange to have and to hold, until death do you part?  

I do.

From Cloud in Perfectirishgifts

[auburnfamilynews]

John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

Tigers played very well at certain spots, others need some improvement.

Auburn’s 1-0 after a 29-13 victor against Kentucky, and while we wish we had a team with Cam Newton handing off to Bo Jackson and Cadillac Williams with Terry Beasley running the deep post and protection from Willie Anderson, Greg Robinson, Reese Dismukes, and Steve Wallace, that’s not the reality. Both sides of the ball looked much better than many thought, especially after the lack of practice and a comparison to other SEC squads that looked awful at times.

If the offense and defense both came alive in the second half, and Auburn pulled out a victory doubling the line over a ranked opponent, how did each piece look? Let’s grade it out!

QUARTERBACK - A-

I thought Bo played a fantastic game Saturday. He didn’t have a single WTF throw where he air mails the ball 10 yards over Seth’s head. Instead, outside of throw aways, he gave his wide receivers a shot on every pass. He also threw some perfect darts and I think he’s greatly improved in the short game. Last season, he had a tendency to be erratic throwing those quick screens resulting in wideouts having to use half a second to adjust to the pass and then attempt to get to full speed. Saturday he did a great job giving them a chance to get going immediately.

But...

The standard is extremely high for Bo and if Auburn is going to be a contender in the SEC this fall they need the best from Bo each week. While I understand that it’s probably hard to trust this offensive line, he has to do better staying in the pocket and waiting for the full passing concept to develop. He missed some opportunities because he didn’t like his first read and started drifting out of the pocket. It might mean taking a sack or two but if he can more consistently navigate the pocket to buy a little more time to give these talented wide receivers the time to get open, he could have a special season.

Chad’s also giving him checkdowns with backs out of the backfield. Take em Bo. A 3 yard dump off is better than a throw away. I saw a much better version of Bo Nix this Saturday. Now it’s about building on that success and continuing to improve. He has a chance this weekend to shut up a lot of haters. Let’s get it done

RUNNING BACKS - C (pending larger sample size)

I don’t quite know if we saw enough of the tailbacks to make sense of the race for who’s actually number one. Shaun Shivers was named the starter, and he was the leading rusher out of the backs with 29 yards on just 6 carries. He had one particularly solid run, shedding tacklers, showing the speed, and getting out of trouble, but there’s not enough of a sample size. It feels like much of Chad Morris’ impact on the offense came in the passing game, and the backs were a little left out. Some of that had to do with Kentucky holding a large time of possession advantage, but the tailbacks had just 20 total carries for 65 yards. Not great. The line is responsible for a lot of that misery, but Auburn needs to establish a rotation and let the most talented guys play. D.J. Williams didn’t seem to hit the hole he needed a couple times, and he wasn’t aware that he needed to plow ahead on 4th and 1 instead of dancing. It’s unfortunate, but that slip near the goal line will also cost him in this assessment.

WIDE RECEIVERS/TIGHT ENDS - A

Sure, the passing game didn’t rack up over six bills like Mississippi State did. But these receivers looked as polished as I’ve ever seen them at Auburn. Seth Williams obviously had the huge day with six catches for 112 yards and two scores, but even his non-touchdown catches were big plays. Not only that, but on multiple occasions he looked like the meanest guy on the field blocking for Anthony Schwartz or Shaun Shivers. Eli Stove looked like his pre-injury self, with five touches for 62 yards and a score. While his touchdown was certainly an All-SEC throw from Bo, that over the shoulder catch was no joke. Schwartz showed again he’s the fastest man in football, blowing by any “angles” defensive backs tried to take on him.

John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

As for the tight ends, after all the offseason talk, they weren’t really featured in the passing game this week. That doesn’t mean they weren’t used in the offense, though. Most notably, Pegues was the motion man on the Schwartz screen that nearly went for a touchdown, allowing the big man to get a head of steam to block downfield. A few plays later Pegues and Luke Deal combined to set the edge for DJ Williams on the touchdown. John Samuel Shenker tacked on a catch for the two point conversion seconds later, although that was the only action the tight ends got in the receiving game.

While the volume wasn’t there to get everyone touches, the receivers had a dynamite game when called upon. Keep playing like this and we might just have ourselves a passing game.

OFFENSIVE LINE - B-

This offensive performance up front needs to be viewed through a different lens than how we should be grading this group for the next 9 games. I cannot imagine being in a huddle in a live SEC game with 4 other linemen around me who weren’t the same 4 linemen all or most of fall camp. COVID-19 forced this coaching staff to get creative with rotations during fall camp, and we saw a lot of it Saturday as a result. Which frankly I like, because you’re trying to use the Kentucky game to find your guys and not have to do this the next week in Athens. That being said, Left Tackle is a spot for concern at the moment as Alec Jackson looked like Saturday was his first start with multiple false starts and being a half step slow in his pass protection at times. Austin Troxell didn’t fare much better to my naked eye, but perhaps the coaches will see something on film that tells a different story. Bottom line is that whatever 5 guys are our starters, which I think Council, Brahms, and Hamm are all but guaranteed to be just that, they desperately need reps together.

The reason for the B-, which would be a C on any other week, is due to only 1 sack surrendered out of this group. Also there were times on the ground, especially late, where the hole was there and the back just missed it, or fell down in the case of DJ Williams. They did their job of protecting Bo Nix, which is what we needed to win this game. The challenge is going to be when their job is to help move the line of scrimmage on the ground...like this weekend.

DEFENSIVE LINE - B-

Overall I thought Auburn’s defensive line did a fine job down the stretch of wearing out Kentucky’s OL. But the standard along the defensive line is excellence and it won’t change just because of NFL departures. Rodney Garner wouldn’t adjust it for them so we’re not going to adjust it here.

DeQuan Newkirk was a revelation on Saturday. He said he is finally healthy and it has showed. Look for him to be serviceable in filling the literal giant void left by Derrick Brown. Colby Wooden early on looked lost, and in the second half you could see the game started slowing down a bit for him. He’s going to be special. You don’t often have a guy who could’ve been an end out of HS be able to put on his level of weight and still be so athletic. We’re going to need him to grow up fast, but he’s got a huge level of potential for this group. Truesdell is never going to get the stats, but his work in plugging gaps on the inside is critical and overall I thought we did a good enough job to win the game in plugging the A/B gaps.

What it still appears this line is missing is a legitimate Carl Lawson/Jeff Holland pass rush out of the Buck position. Maybe that’s because of a bogus targeting call on Derrick Hall. But the fact is we didn’t see it on Saturday and that has been the achilles heel of this defense since 2018. We need to find a body that can rush the passer and find him right now. On the other side, having Big Kat go down with an injury earlier in the week was disappointing, and I think affected the group a bit early on, as it put a different cast into positions they may have not expected to be in on Monday or Tuesday of last week.

One thing I love about Rodney Garner (and there are many, many things I love about Rodney Garner) is that on the second series for Kentucky you saw an entirely new defensive line. Rodney is going to baptize every one of these boys into fire so they can grow up and become men before our eyes. It’s the reason why Kentucky couldn’t get near the push in the 2nd half. Us having fresh legs up front through 4 quarters of football is key to winning close games, and we’re going to have our share of those this year. There’s an abundance of room for improvement, but life after Derrick and Marlon must go on, and we have the right mix of talent and coaching to have this group exceed expectations moving forward.

LINEBACKERS - B

It’s a little more difficult to make plays when you don’t have Derrick Brown and Marlon Davidson occupying 3-4 blockers on every play. That said, K.J. Britt and Owen Pappoe both made their impacts felt early and often yesterday. After Kentucky’s script ran out, and Auburn could adjust, Britt, Pappoe, and Zakoby McClain ended up totaling 27 tackles, 2.5 TFLS, a sack, and a fumble recovery. Pappoe’s sack and fumble recovery were both huge plays that iced the game late when Auburn had built a comfortable lead.

Early on, Britt read Kentucky’s plan perfectly multiple times, and made form tackles, but the Cats still gained the necessary half yard to convert on a couple of third and short situations. It seems like the linebackers had to learn that they’re the stars of the defense now and they need to play a little differently than roaming around and waiting for something to filter to them like they could last year with the defensive line helping in front. After a bit of a slow start and allowing Kentucky’s run game to flourish in the first half, they locked down and were one of the main reasons that the Cats couldn’t do much at all after halftime. Slow start, great finish, excited for more.

DEFENSIVE BACKS - A-

If I could break this down into corners and safeties, I’d definitely be giving the corners an A+. They were the most outstanding unit in the game this week for me, holding Terry Wilson to just 6.5 yards per attempt. Roger McCreary specifically had himself a game, with an interception that should have gone the distance for a score, and a forced fumble in the second half. He wasn’t alone, though, with Christian Tutt and Jaylin Simpson looking outstanding in pass defense. Nehemiah Pritchett, the next man up, got burned a few times, but I’m willing to let that slide as the fourth corner.

In the back, the trio of Jamien Sherwood, Smoke Monday, and Jordyn Peters had a solid but not perfect game. One of the only big pass plays came when Smoke got beat by his receiver, and Peters (who was playing over the top) just whiffed on a tackle to limit the gain. They did play well in the run game, however, with 15 total tackles between the three of them (10 of them belonging to Smoke).

Overall, it was a really strong showing for the junior class of defensive backs, especially with most of them earning their first starts. We’ll see how they look against more polished passing games, but luckily they will have time to gear up for that. The next three games are against Georgia, Arkansas, and South Carolina, which should give them plenty of time before facing some more polished air attacks later in the year.

SPECIAL TEAMS - B

If Saturday was a tribute to Coach Dye, then Auburn had to be sound in the kicking game. Let’s see... Field Goals: N/A Extra Points: 3/3 and a swinging gate 2 point conversion! Punting: 5 punts. 3 downed inside the 20 with only 1 return for 6 yards. What? Yeah I counted Bo’s punts even though the entire offense was on the field. Coach Dye would have loved it. Kickoffs: 5 kickoffs. 2 touchbacks and a 24 yard average on the other three (which beats a touchback) Kickoff Returns: 2 returns for a 32 yard average. Both came from the goal line or inside the endzone, which means they improved on a potential touchback. Punt Returns: N/A, but Christian Tutt let one get past him, which ended up going 75 yards. On the plus side, Kentucky attempted a fake punt that lost yardage, so that’s certainly a plus.

If we’re doing +/- on grades, this is certainly into B+/A- territory. As it is I have to ding Tutt for misplaying that punt, which came out of UK’s own end zone. That said, give Max Duffy some credit. He did win the Ray Guy last year. All totaled, a very good day from the special teams unit.

COACHING - A-

If you’ve ever been on twitter during an Auburn game, you’ve seen the moaning and groaning that occurs whenever the PAT team lines up in the swinging gate. But folks, Auburn got a good look, pulled the trigger, and reaped the rewards. Ultimately the extra point didn’t matter in Auburn’s 16 point victory, but extra pressure was applied to Kentucky when they managed to score another touchdown and attempted their own two-point conversion. Additionally, Auburn’s 9 other SEC opponents will now spend an extra 20 minutes a week practicing this formation Auburn won’t use again until 2024. So yeah, excellent coaching decision.

Even outside that decision, though, the coaching was solid. Auburn made defensive adjustments after the first drive and offensive adjustments throughout the game. We should give Gus credit for letting Chad Morris run the show, as promised.

I was disappointed on the first drive when Auburn faced 3rd and 2, rushed, then punted on 4th and 1. I also would have liked Gus to have been a bit more upset after the faux-targeting call just before halftime. Take a 15 yard penalty there if you’re going to kneel it anyway.

A win is a win is a win. Coaches are remembered for their win/loss record over all else, so great job on the W, coach.

FANS - A

Attendance is going to be a problem, but those who made it in the stadium made their presence known. Or maybe it was just piped in noise? I don’t really care. I was worried it was going to sound like A-Day and it didn’t, so that was enough for me. It also seemed like people were wearing masks which makes this an easy grade to give.

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/9/29/21459172/position-grades-8-auburn-29-23-kentucky-13

[mykingjon]

Rhaegar, Elia, Lyanna and the matters of succession

*DISCLAIMER: This post does NOT take Rhaegar’s morality, or the outcome of Robert’s Rebellion into consideration, I judge no one and keep my opinions to myself; I’m merely searching for a reasonable truth about why the writers created this plot. I do not tolerate any kind of hate speech; I am a fan of constructive criticism, though.*

Hey guys! There are so many metas about the news of Rhaegar/Elia’s marriage annulment, I know. It definitely set sparks among the fandom. I am not here to defend Rhaegar, or call him names. However, for the past year, I’ve been mostly digging into the history of law on my university. Marriage law heavily included. There are many aspects of the annulment we might not be taking into consideration, as long as D&D read about the matter in the medieval history of course, as well as read the books carefully (Y E A H), which eventually led them to the route they took. Again, I am not trying to defend their decision with this plotline, or the character’s actions, merely wondering about what lead to it in showmakers’ minds. I might be reading too much into it and they simply wanted to make Jon legitimate, and were not very sensitive about Elia, Aegon and Rhaenys, as well as the future of royal dynasty, but all I can do is hope it was otherwise (might be proved wrong in 7x07, but hell, I want to get it off my chest). Healthy discussion and pointing out mistakes in my logic is encouraged.

So, we certainly know Elia’s and Rhaegar’s marriage has been consummated (obviously). It could not be set aside by the High Septon as an unlawful one. Their son, Aegon, was second in line for the throne before the Robert’s Rebellion. The two children Elia and Rhaegar had were securing the dynasty’s position, and Rhaegar believed they both had a great part to play in the Great War. Later on, Rhaegar decided he has to get out of his marriage for some reason, be it love, prophecy, anything you want to name. I want to discuss something entirely different, which is: how would the Faith actually grant his request, if the Prince and the Princess already had children? And also, how would the line of succession look after such a turn?

I’ve seen many people deem it absolutely impossible for a consummated marriage be set aside, and from the religious (New Gods) point of view it probably is, to some extent. However, royalty rules their own lives as they please, and the Faith have been eventually forced to agree to many compromises (just like in medieval Europe), based on Targaryens’ Valyrian heritage (the overused example: brother/sister marriage). So, although the relations have been complicated at first, after hundreds of years of Targaryen rule, Faith was not really considered as a force to be reckoned with, but rather a neccessary ally Kings had to create dialogue with if they needed their blessing in something exceptional. Therefore, in the times of Robert I, among Westerosi nobles it is widely believed that if a King wishes to set aside his wife, even if they both have children, he can easily do that. In AGOT, we have proof for that. 

First one, we can find in Bran II, just before he sees Jaime and Cersei together. Cersei complains about the fact that Ned agreed to become the Hand of the King. She’s scared that Robert will actually listen to him out of love two men bear for each other, and that she will be set aside for the sake of “another Lyanna”. Robert is known to have many mistresses, and father many bastards, so surely she is not speaking merely of that kind of relationship between her husband and a woman Ned would choose for him. She is actually speaking of Ned Stark finding Robert a new wife. Now, if she is presumably the mother of his three children, how could her position be endangered by something like Lord Stark’s opinion of her, or her house, if she is protected by how lawful her marriage is in the eyes of gods? Clearly, if the King wants to set her aside for another woman, he can. The Faith’s opinion is not even considered.

“ My husband grows more restless every day. Having Stark beside him will only make him worse. He’s still in love with the sister, the insipid little dead sixteen-year-old. How long till he decides to put me aside for some new Lyanna?”

Some might argue that Cersei is paranoid, because she is scared of a potential enemy, as well as of the reveal of Joffrey’s real parentage. However, there are also the members of the two great houses who share her opinion, and even found a potential new Lyanna Cersei fears. In AGOT, Arya III, after trying to catch the cats, our girl overhears a conversation which proves the same point. Two unknown to her figures speak of how close Ned is to discovering the truth, for he has a bastard and a book. Before they start this topic, they also mention that lord Renly Baratheon and ser Loras Tyrell plan to bring 14-year-old Margaery to the court. She’s believed to be sweet, meek and beautiful. Both men want Margaery to be bedded and wed by King Robert, although he has a Queen, as well as heirs.

“The Knight of Flowers writes Highgarden, urging his lord father to send his sister to court. The girl is a maid of fourteen, sweet and beautiful and tractable, and Lord Renly and Ser Loras intend that Robert should bed her, wed her, and make a new queen. “

They even hope that Robert will see Lyanna in Margaery:

“The maid was Loras Tyrell’s sister Margaery, he’d confessed, but there were those who said she looked like Lyanna. “No,” Ned had told him, bemused.”

So, to conclude: during the reign of Robert I, there undoubtedly is a possibility for a lawful wife of a King, with whom he (presumably) has children, to be set aside, with no solid reason at all. Surely, just before his reign, there also was such a possibility. One can argue that Rhaegar was no King; yet, he was the Crown Prince of house Targaryen, and his ascention has been long awaited by the most of Westeros, because of his Father’s ways. I would not be surprised if he was treated like a King by the Faith under such circumstances, even if he did not have Aerys’ support in that matter. According to ASOIAF wiki, neither wife nor husband have to be present to make such an annulment, and just one side of the marriage (read: a man) can request it (presumably by sending a raven, if neither of them have to be present). It is uncommon; but not impossible, even book-wise.

Okay, so we know that Rhaegar could somehow persuade High Septon to annul his marriage to Elia, and he didn’t have to travel all the way to Tower of Joy, even if the Prince didn’t start his preparations for running away with Lyanna during the year between Tourney of Harrenhal and the actual event. I imagine that his official reason could be, of course, the good of the dynasty. Elia couldn’t have more children, or else she would risk her life severely, and in the terms of royalty, the more the heirs, the more secure they feel on the throne. Sure, Aegon and Rhaenys would be more than enough for house Targaryen to have a bright future after Rhaegar’s death. But we know there was also something else driving the Crown Prince, and that kind of official reason for an annulment could be accepted by the Faith, instead of “I need a third head of the dragon to save this godforsaken land”, “I love Lyanna Stark, I have to marry her asap”, or anything else you want to name. In medieval Europe, the inability to bring children to the world, or even as much as not being able to have sexual intercourse, was believed to be reason enough to annul marriage among the high-born. The main god-given task behind all the marriages was for the husband and wife to want to bring as many children as possible into the world. Conclusion: the annulment could be arranged in the world based on our medieval one.

But what kind of sense would it have, right? If Rhaegar annuled his marriage to Elia, he would bastardize his “promised prince” Aegon, and his daughter Rhaenys. He would risk his dynasty all the more with taking two heirs out of the line of succession, especially in the turbulent times of the Mad King. It just wouldn’t make sense, for the dynasty, Rhaegar, and even High Septon.

In medieval times, there were many obstacles to subdue in Catholic marriage law. I will not name them all, ‘cause there are a lot of them, but they were divided into those which annuled the marriage the second they were discovered (example: kinship to some extent), and those which could prevent the very existance of the marriage  ONLY before the sacrament, vows, etc. took place (example: age; yes, in medieval times people were sometimes not sure how old were they). The inability to provide more children could be used as an obstacle to annul the marriage by someone as important as Rhaegar (especially with the fact Robert could set Cersei aside with no reason at all, or the made-up one), yes, we know that already; but even in this series of events, in medieval Europe, there was an institution to protect the children from such a marriage. They were said to be “conceived in a good will”, so, in a belief that a marriage was and always will be valid. Aegon and Rhaenys could still be kept in the line of succesion, even if their mother would never become/stop being Queen (which is a bummer, of course, but hear me out). 

This seems like the most logical option that writers could follow if they decided to erase Elia and Rhaegar’s marriage completely. It was a HUGE compromise on the Faith’s side - the dynasty would not loose its heirs and the Realm - two heads of the dragon, and Rhaegar was free to do what he wanted, for whatever the hell reason he wanted. But then again, we already decided that Targaryens were bending everyone to their will, Faith included.

So, the line of succession then, would be: 1. Aegon, 2. Jon, 3. Rhaenys, 4. Viserys, 5. Daenerys. Pretty secure, huh?

The only person who lost social position in this, was of course, Princess Elia. But whether you morally accept with what was done to her in the terms of her marriage, or not, that kind of option seems like the most possible one. *prayer circle Rhaegar was not batshit crazy and actually took Realm, his children, and his whole life before Lyanna and Jon into consideration before doing something like that to Elia, all the while bending High Septon to his will, even in the show-verse*

Of course, we all know that the war ruined Rhaegar’s plans, whatever they might have been. I am just trying my VERY best to understand what was the writers’ logic behind that decision, because frankly, as somebody who watches the show, as well as read the books, I never took that option into consideration. Polygamy, the royal decree to legitimize Jon - yes, that was on my mind. But annulment? That was quite a shock to me, as it must have been for everyone. At first I completely couldn’t get my head around that, but the deeper you get into that, the more sense it makes. Well, I hope we’ll see how George handles it!

[husid]

Uncle Huey’s 2019 Oscars Post!

A confession: I love the Oscars. 

A confession, extrapolated: I am an unabashed Oscars fanboy, who legitimately looks forward to the Academy Awards all year long. I love the opening montage where the host skewers self-righteous Hollywood stars, I love the cringeworthy banter of presenters pretending to have a non-scripted conversation (as if they were actual actors!), I love the montages reminding us why we should keep liking movies, I love seeing which recently deceased actors (it’s always the actors) cause people to break the “no-clapping-until-the-end” rule during the In Memoriam clip (Hollywood’s version of “you can only bring Valentine’s Day Cards to class if you give one to everybody”), I love the wildly reactionary vitriol thrown towards the Academy every time they make a decision about anything, I love the Academy reacting one-year too late to everything, I love the politics, I love the self-seriousness, I love the acceptance speeches in which you can tell the actor deeply resents his or her family, I love seeing the loser shots and trying to decide whether they’re legitimately happy for the winner (spoiler: they’re not), and I love seeing the same tired, rehashed Twitter jokes about how long the Oscars telecast is. 

Reading back through that paragraph, I realize how disingenuous my love for the Oscars sounds, but I do love the Oscars, if for no other reason than I really fucking love movies. And while I’m no critic, I do fancy myself a semi-educated film buff, and with that, as well as an uncredited extras role in The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas! that I ask that you indulge me in the first annual Hu’s the Boss Oscar Preview!

In the interest of full disclosure, this is where I tell you that I’ve only seen 11 of the movies nominated (Avengers: Infinity War, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favourite, Isle of Dogs, Roma, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse, A Star Is Born), but whether it’s the utter predictability of some films (Green Book), or familiarity with a director’s work (Vice), I feel reasonably confident in my admittedly underinformed predictions.

You might have heard that the Oscars will not have a host this year, for the first time since 1989, and we all remember how that went! (I was 2 years old, I definitely don’t remember how that went, but the internet does, and yikes, it wasn’t good. Side note: I’d sooner tell my own grandmother that her matzo ball soup was overseasoned than do anything horrible enough to warrant Julie Andrews calling me an embarrassment in an open letter).  How did we find ourselves in this predicament? Blame the Academy. Well, also the internet. Maybe Kevin Hart too. President Obama as well. Let me explain. 

While in office, Obama had the opportunity to sign an executive order mandating that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host every major awards show, but failed to do so. Given President Trump’s current feelings towards S&L, it feels like that window has closed. The Oscars are generally hosted by a mainstream comedian, and this year was shaping up to be no different, with Kevin Hart signed on to host. But then the unthinkable happened. The internet internetted, and found that Hart had performed some homophobic material back in 2009 and 2010. The backlash got real loud, real quick, and the court of public opinion sentenced the Academy to 10 years without Kevin Hart as host, with the possibility of parole once we realize that every comic who started writing before 2010 has included something homophobic in one of their sets. So you can blame Kevin Hart, whose jokes were clearly offensive; you can blame the Academy for either not vetting their host, underestimating the research capabilities of internet denizens, underestimating the outrage of the general public (hard to imagine, given the public reception of most of the Academy’s decisions of late), or, depending on your viewpoint, bowing too easily to internet outrage; or you can blame the outraged, for not understanding the evolution of standup comedy, or for making a stand when one may not be warranted.

I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions on who’s to blame for Hart not hosting, but I can tell you who’s to blame for there the absence of a host, period: Critics. Not since Billy Crystal hosted the Oscars for a 73rd consecutive time has any host be universally lauded. The host isn’t funny, the host is too mean, the host is too sophomoric, the host disappears for extended periods of time, etc. It’s been a thankless job for years now, and that was before a dissection of your extended comedy catalog became a prerequisite. Personally, I’d love to see the hosting job go to an up-and-coming comic and let them roast Hollywood for a bit. It would be a way to take the self-reverential mask off of Hollywood for a couple hours, and provide a massive opportunity for an up-and-comer. But ratings dictate that stars and stars alone must host, so I’m not holding my breath.

Ok. That sound you just heard is me jumping off my soap box. Back to movies.

“The field is wide open this year” is a great way to build up buzz for an awards show, but when it comes to Best Picture, it’s also a euphemism sugarcoating the fact that there were truly no great movies this year. Personally, I think nearly every contender has at least one seriously fatal flaw, and that, coupled with the rare lack of a huge late PR push for one movie above the others (a la The King’s Speech, The Artist, Argo, Birdman, etc.) mean that “wide-open field” isn’t just lip service, it’s true. Just not for the best reasons. Still, it makes for an exciting awards show, if you’re into that sort of thing, and probably means that the Academy won’t be on the hook for buying into one film’s hype and looking terrible for it down the line (Shakespeare In Love over Saving Private Ryan, The King’s Speech over The Social Network, Birdman over Boyhood, etc.). But these things aren’t always predictable, and maybe in ten years we’ll be talking about what an underappreciated movie Vice was in 2018.

Now on to the awards, where I’ll give my two cents on each nominee for Best Picture, then a brief thought on each subsequent category declaring my best guess for the actual winner and my personal favorite. In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve watched the Golden Globes and the SAG Awards, and usually pay a lot of attention to movie/Oscars buzz, but I’ve generally tried to avoid Oscar prediction articles for the sake of this post. Again, I don’t claim to be a film critic, but I do have lots of opinions on movies, so take everything with a grain of salt. To further highlight any conscious or subconscious biases I have,  I’ve put the films I have seen in bold in each set of nominees.

THE OSCAR GOES TO

Best Picture

Nominees:

Black Panther – A wildly entertaining and legitimately good movie, but it’s not even the best Marvel movie ever. This feels more like an acknowledgment from the Academy that it respects superhero movies, than a legitimate contender for best picture.

BlacKkKlansman – Given the wild true story the movie is based on, it probably didn’t even need Spike Lee’s direction to shine, and yet I left somewhat underwhelmed. Everything was solid, but very little really stood out, aside from costume design and a few warranted but ham-handed references to our current political climate.  Spike is one of the most provocative filmmakers of the last quarter-century, but with a story that I expected he’d be able to knock out of the park, I didn’t fell like I gained an interesting perspective or was shocked by anything; a rarity for one of his films. Maybe that’s more reflective of the times we live in, or maybe I just set unfair expectations for Spike, given the subject matter. Either way, despite enormous potential, this had all the trappings of a good-but-not-great movie.

Bohemian Rhapsody – Rami Malek’s performance and the final Live Aid scene alone catapult Bohemian Rhapsody into this year’s contenders. Unfortunately, that was all that was Oscar-worthy about this movie. The rest was a by-the-numbers music biopic that tried to pack way too much into 133 minutes. It’s no wonder this movie took so long to get made and so many writers/producers/directors/actors were involved and uninvolved at one point or another (Sacha Baron Cohen was originally slated to play Freddie Mercury), because there’s a lot to untangle between  the rise and “fall” of the band, Mercury’s sexual awakening, and his HIV diagnosis, all while the real-life remaining members of the band did their best to ensure that we got a PG-13 version of Queen history devoid of any real dirty laundry. The final result was a watered down, factually dubious mishmash that doesn’t go deep enough in any direction to have a true lasting impact. Those music scenes though, still make it one of the best music biopics ever filmed.

The Favourite – Of all the Best Picture nominees, the Favourite and Roma were easily the least digestable for mass market audiences. Period pieces aren’t for everyone, especially ones that have little in the way of plot, and take place exclusively on the grounds of an 18th century British palace. But the Favourite managed to be thoroughly entertaining thanks to top-notch set design, Oscar-worthy performances by Olivia Coleman, Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone, sexual intrigue and two hours of steady, if a bit slow, mischievousness. 

Green Book – I have not seen it. Obviously the reviews are positive, but no one has yet convinced me that this movie isn’t entirely formulaic. I haven’t seen this movie, but I’ve seen this movie, and I’m pretty sure it’s fine.

Roma – A beautiful movie about an underrepresented social class in an underrepresented era in an underrepresented country. It’s shot well and acted well, and the camerawork makes up for a meandering plotline. It probably is the class of this category, but I can’t help but think that it might be 15% worse if it wasn’t shot in black and white. That was clearly a conscious choice by writer and director Alfonso Cuaron, who, between Gravity and Children of Men, among others, has more than proven he knows how to make a film beautiful, regardless of subject matter. But the Artist won Best Picture for its two-part gimmick of being black and white and silent, and I’m not entirely sure that Roma’s colorless palette shouldn’t be considered gimmicky as well.

A Star Is Born – The most classic Best Picture fodder on this list, by leaps and bounds, and not just because previous versions of this movie have been nominated for Best Picture, among a host of other awards. But Hollywood loves a movie about the entertainment business, not to mention a story about underdogs and redemption. This was a really well done movie across the board, and while I thought the Grammys scene was a little over the top, I now realize that was an integral scene to the previous three versions of the movie, so its inclusion is a lot easier to justify here. Aside from the acting, which was exceptional across the board (Andrew Dice Clay!), I think the most impressive part about this movie was that it was a big-budget film about superstardom, yet managed to feel very intimate, and resisted using tired crutches of story narration/plot forwarding by way of TV/radio news reports or newspaper headlines – something Bohemian Rhapsody was unable to pull off.

Vice – I have not seen it, which is odd, because of every movie nominated, it’s probably the most up my proverbial alley. The initial mixed reviews were a part of my missing it, though I imagine my love for Adam Mckay’s masterful balance between humor and the depression of irresponsibly-wielded power in the Big Short and Succession (to say nothing of his comedy genius displayed in Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Step Brothers et al.) would make me a more likely candidate than most to appreciate Vice. Alas, that’s all I’m able to really opine on.

Will Be: If there wasn’t a strong anti-Netflix bias in the Academy, as has been reported, I would go with Roma, but I fear that the safest choice here is Green Book, and in the absence of anything truly groundbreaking, that’s going to be the pick.

Should Be: I’m on the fence between Roma and A Star is Born. To me, Roma’s lack of plot and failure to explore its main character in depth separate it from A Star is Born, which really has no obvious flaws.

Actor in a Leading Role

Christian Bale – Vice

Bradley Cooper – A Star Is Born

Willem Dafoe – At Eternity’s Gate

Rami Malek – Bohemian Rhapsody

Viggo Mortensen – Green Book

Will Be: Having only seen two of these movies, it’s hard for me to make a real educated guess, but it’s also hard to imagine that Rami Malek won’t be rewarded for flawlessly playing one of the most eccentric entertainers in music history. All I know for sure is that Willem Dafoe will not be winning.

Should Be: Malek. Malek’s apparent real-life persona is shy and understated –essentially the exact opposite of Freddie Mercury’s – making his transformative performance that much more jaw-dropping.

Actress in a Leading Role

Yalitza Aparicio – Roma

Glenn Close – The Wife

Olivia Colman – The Favourite

Lady Gaga – A Star Is Born

Melissa McCarthy – Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Will Be: Glenn Close. When an actress from a movie you’ve never heard of keeps racking up awards, it’s a pretty safe bet the Academy will follow suit.

Should Be: I’m going to stick with Close, given how much consensus this pick seems to have. Of the movies I saw, I think Colman and Gaga are both very worthy. I can’t quite figure out Aparicio’s nomination. Given that she had never acted before, she was incredible, but the lack of dialogue and depth that the script afforded her puts her performance in stark comparison to the other women on this list. Close is the biggest lock in any of the acting categories.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Amy Adams – Vice

Marina de Tavira – Roma

Regina King – If Beale Street Could Talk

Emma Stone – The Favourite

Rachel Weisz – The Favourite

Will Be: Amy Adams. This is a really tight race that could legitimately go to anyone. With five very deserving nominees, the biggest differentiator is the fact that Adams has been nominated for an Oscar five times before, with no hardware to show for it. In situations like this, the Academy has shown it’s not above the unofficial lifetime achievement award.

Should Be: I’m a huge fan of every actress in this category, though my two favorites – Adams and King – are nominated for movies I haven’t seen. Given that, my pick would be Emma Stone, who portrayed innocence, quirkiness, resourcefulness, wittiness, ruthlessness and helplessness in one winkingly dry performance. Weisz was just as game from an acting perspective, but the script gave Stone a lot more to work with, making her performance more memorable.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Mahershala Ali – Green Book

Adam Driver – BlacKkKlansman

Sam Elliott – A Star Is Born

Richard E. Grant – Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Sam Rockwell – Vice

Will Be: Mahershala Ali. The Academy loves him, and with good reason. In a tight race, the fact that Rockwell deservedly won this award last year for Three Billboards probably disqualifies him. Elliott was exceptional in A Star Is Born, but had a considerably smaller role than the other actors on this list. I thought Driver was good, but not Oscars-good, and obviously I haven’t seen Grant’s performance, but the buzz is very positive, despite being in a movie that not a ton of people saw. There’s definitely a cynical side of me that thinks Ali is the most justifiable selection among all the minority Oscar acting nominees, and its hard to imagine there aren’t at least some voters who are still trying to erase the scars of #oscarssowhite (to say nothing of minority representation over the course of film history) by essentially casting a vote for inclusion. But ultimately he may just be the best choice in a tight category.

Should Be: Ali. I’ll be rooting hard for Elliott, both because he tends to be my favorite part of any movie or show he’s in, and because it’s nice to see the older guys finally win one. Since Ali and Rockwell already have a statue, there may be some sentimentality votes going his way, and his career in mainstream American cinema spans much longer than fellow elder statesman Grant. Again, I haven’t seen Green Book, but I know Ali is as game as any of the actors in this category, and had the biggest role of anyone in the category. That’s good enough for me.

Directing

Spike Lee – BlacKkKlansman 

Pawel Pawlikowski – The Cold War

Yorgos Lanthimos – The Favourite

Alfonso Cuaron  - Roma

Adam McKay – Vice

Will Be: Alfonso Cuaron. There’s talk of this going to Spike as a “my bad” award from the Academy for never having even nominated him for best director (not giving him even a nomination for Do the Right Thing borders on criminal). But he did receive an honorary Oscar from the Academy in 2015, and that, coupled with BlacKkKlansman being just a good movie make me feel like this isn’t Spike’s year. Vice is a very hype-typical movie that isn’t getting much hype, and Cold War is the only movie on this list not nominated for Best Picture. That leaves Roma and the Favourite, and the Academy has proven it loves Cuaron’s work, not to mention Roma is the most unique, visually stunning film on this list, which are usually two of the major criteria for this award.

Should Be: Cuaron, for all of the reasons listed above, but I wouldn’t be upset with Lanthimos taking it.

Adapted Screenplay

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

BlacKkKlansman

Can You Ever Forgive Me?

If Beale Street Could Talk

A Star Is Born

Will Be: I really have no clue on this one, but I’m confident that The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and If Beale Street Could Talk are the first two out. The remaining three are all unlikely to win in the other major categories so voters might simply choose their favorite of those three to ensure they win something. If that’s the case, my guess is the most popular among them is A Star Is Born.

Should Be: I won’t rehash my thoughts on BlacKkKlansman again, and I haven’t seen Beale Street or CYEFM, but when considering adapted screenplays, I like to vote based on degree of difficulty jumping from the source material to the screen. That’s why A Star Is Born falls short for me, given that it was adapted from three previous versions of ultimately the same movie. To me, that makes the writer’s job easier, not harder. I definitely have a Coen Brothers bias, so my vote goes to The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, which managed to take a collection of short stories written over the course of 25 years and transform them into a series of visually stunning, dialogue-rich (aside from Tom Waits’ story) vignettes that somehow formed a (great) movie.

Original Screenplay

The Favourite

First Reformed

Green Book

Roma

Vice

Will Be: First Reformed is getting buzz for this award, and it might be a way for voters to give some gold to a movie than many felt was snubbed in other categories. My take is that if voters loved the screenplay so much, it would have been nominated for those other categories. So the most likely pick here is Roma, a movie about an upper-middle-class family in Mexico City with a relative dearth of dialogue or plot lines that somehow ends up being as captivating as any other movie this year.

Should Be: I thought The Big Short’s screenplay was incredible, so if Vice is comparable in both style and quality, I’m sure I’d love it. But critics are saying otherwise, so I’m going to go with The Favourite, whose screenplay managed to make a thoroughly beguiling and darkly humorous film out of what could easily have been just another dry period piece.

Foreign Language Film

Capernaum – Lebanon

Cold War – Poland

Never Look Away – Germany

Roma – Mexico

Shoplifters – Japan

Will Be: We can pretend Cold War has a chance, but the award has all but been handed to Roma already. If it’s the only movie on this list that managed to be worthy of a Best Picture nominee, logic would dictate that it’s the only movie worthy of winning Best Foreign Language Film

Should Be: Having only seen Roma, I don’t have any great insights to add here, but I’m still confident in saying it deserves this one.

Best Animated Feature

Incredibles 2

Isle of Dogs

Mirai

Ralph Breaks the Internet

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Will Be: Despite winning two of the last three years, Pixar doesn’t have the stranglehold over this category that it once did. In most years, Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs or Ralph Breaks the Internet would have a great shot to win, but this is simply Spider-Man’s year.

Should Be: I liked Isle of Dogs, but Spider-Man was probably my favorite movie of the year, and quite possibly the best. Sorry Pixar.

Cinematography

Cold War

The Favourite

Never Look Away

Roma

A Star Is Born

Will Be: Roma. Sweeping cityscapes, countryscapes and beachscapes (are those things?) + historical time period + black and white = Oscar.

Should Be: Roma. Sweeping cityscapes, countryscapes and beachscapes (are those things?) + historical time period + black and white = Oscar.

QUICK HITTERS

Production Design

Black Panther

The Favourite

First Man

Mary Poppins Returns

Roma

Will Be: Roma

Should Be: The Favourite

Costume Design

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

Black Panther

The Favourite

Mary Poppins Returns

Mary Queen of Scots

Will Be: The Favourite

Should Be: The Favourite

Death, taxes, and a Victorian(ish)-era drama winning Best Costume Design are the only certainties in life.

Visual Effects

Avengers: Infinity War

Christopher Robin

First Man

Ready Player One

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Will Be: Avengers: Infinity War

Should Be: Ready Player One

This pick is based entirely on the trailer and my 1980s and 90s nostalgia.

Original Song

All the Stars – Black Panther

I’ll Fight – RBG

The Place Where Lost Things Go – Mary Poppins Returns

Shallow – A Star Is Born

When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings – The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

Will Be: Shallow

Should Be: Shallow

Along with Roma winning for best Foreign Film, this is easily the biggest lock of the night. It’s also a really good song.

I don’t really have anything of substance to add for the rest of the categories, and if you’re somehow still reading, you’re probably not anxiously awaiting my take on all the documentary shorts I haven’t watched.

Happy Oscars Night, everyone! Looking forward to seeing you again next year, when we’ll get to predict the winners of the Academy’s new categories:

Worst Performance By A Best Actor/Actress Loser At Time of Award Announcement

Most Terrifying-Looking Live-Action Genie

Best Performance By People Trying to Bring Matt Damon Home

The Wes Anderson Lifetime Achievement Award for Contributions to Whimsy

Worst Acting Performance by a Musician Who Now Thinks He/She Can Act Because of Lady Gaga

Worst Singing Performance by an Actor Who Now Thinks He/She Can Sing Because of Bradley Cooper

Best Use of “That Guy” (Andrew Dice Clay!)

[brianwilly]

So apparently I wanna talk about Secret Empire

[Shows up a month late with Pete’s Coffee]

There’ve already been a lot of well-written thinkpieces and entries about this comic, about Nick Spencer, about it all.  But I wanted to maybe throw my two-cents into the pile because, to this day, I think most people are still a little confused about where the outrage is coming from, what exactly is making people uncomfortable, and why it all just keeps snowballing on itself.

And honestly I don’t blame those people; this whole situation is kinda hard to parse.  You think it’d be easy to understand why “They turned Captain America into a Nazi” makes people upset, but the thing about Secret Empire is that it honestly does a good pretty job of covering its own ass, of not doing anything overtly offensive, of leaving in all the loopholes and technicalities and escape clauses to its own premise. “It’s going to be undone in the end.” “He’s not actually a Nazi, he’s just brainwashed (even though the story goes on and on for pages about how he’s actually not brainwashed and is in fact a Nazi).” “We’re treating Nazis as bad guys, not glorifying them.” “And they’re not really Nazis, they’re Hydra, it’s totally different.” “We’re tackling topical issues!  Aren’t we brave!  And daring!”

And that’s the kind of stuff I wanna try to cut through here, but it’s gonna require...well...yet another thinkpiece.  Sorry about that.

So I think that Tumblr has covered much of this pretty well, but something to be aware of is that, for a while now, genre media has had A) really iffy mindsets about Jewish issues and B) a sort of casual flirtation with "cool Nazis" as some edgy cool thing to hype and market.  It’s not glorifying Nazis exactly, but it’s using that kind of imagery and ideology as tools to sell your books and movies and TV.  And when I say "genre media" has been doing these things, I actually am specifically referring to Marvel comics and studios for a notable chunk of these instances.

When you combine those instances with the state of the world where Nazism has been regaining traction with the 'chans and redditors and within the White House itself, with Holocaust denialism and Jewish defamation being a regular fixture of the news cycle...it's no wonder that members of the Jewish community and blogosphere has been feeling disenfranchised by a lot of the old entities and structures that had seemed like they should be able to count on as a matter of course. That includes the government, that includes our fellow citizens, and it also includes the media.

(sidebar, I am not Jewish, I just enjoy their comics!)

That's what readers mean when they say this feels like the worst sort of climate for a story that reveals and is marketed on the premise that Captain America was secretly a Nazi all along. It's not that people don't want the current political climate to be examined and lampshaded in media, it's that this specific method of examination comes across scarily comparable to all the antisemitic media and rhetoric that's been released throughout the years which has led us to this current political climate in the first place. It's the media-slash-rhetoric where Jewish (and other) characters have their origins retconned and whitewashed into homogeneity, where pontificating supervillains are just misunderstood revolutionaries who might have a point or something, where fascist police-states are shock value tropes to engender hype and interest amongst audiences.

Spencer's argument is that this story, which depicts a universe where the fascists win, is intended to incite discourse and criticism against such a universe. Hydra are still clearly the bad guys of the story, we're obviously intended to want to see them lose, of course they're going to lose by the end. But the way that the story has been constructed up to this point exhibits a lot of the same signatures of various antisemitic story beats we've had throughout the years. Captain America being retconned from a stalwart defender of Jewish people into being a Nazi agent, for instance, evokes Wanda and Pietro Maximoff being changed from prominent Jewish-Romani superheroes into whitewashed Hydra recruits on the big screen...and there was certainly no secret message or hidden allegory behind the Maximoffs' change; all it was was offensive and tone-deaf and that was it.

For another instance, Nazi Steve delivering issues-long sermons about how the heroes of this world have gotten complacent and misguided and that the world needs someone willing to make the tough choices, to do what it takes to protect it, is reminiscent of Tony Stark and Carol Danvers making fascism-apologia for months on end throughout the two Civil War event comics, like, hey maybe these guys playing the hardball roles have a point right? Hey aren't we so hardcore and edgy for tackling the hardcore and edgy topics?  CHOOSE YOUR SIDE!...and in the end this fascism-apologia is just played completely straight, no hidden critique, no last-minute swerve, just Marvel turning its heroes into borderline supervillains and that was the end of the story. But hey, this story here and now will be totally different from that! Becuuuz...for some reason.

To be direct about his: This isn’t our first rodeo, Marvel Comics.  Let’s not pretend that Marvel...and DC, let’s be fair...haven't in fact made a lot of legitimately terrible in-canon offensive character assassinations of iconic characters and that it's not that unreasonable to be afraid of it happening again at any given point.  Let’s not pretend that Marvel hasn’t done a lot of those things for the specific reason of angering readers and then feeding off of that anger and attention.

At the very least, there's been this weird romanticizing of Hydra Cap from Spencer in what I've read of these books so far; it doesn’t exactly refute the premise that Steve being Hydra is bad, but Steve is still the protagonist of these books no matter how brainwashed he is, so these issues seem to have come across less like "Our heroes have to prevail against this nefarious schemer and his nefarious schemes!" and more like "Watch in wonder as this shadowy agent prevails against all the clueless establishment and does badass things throughout his mission!" It falls into the "cool Nazi" trend where it's like, of course we're consciously aware that he's the bad guy here, but isn't he so edgy and hardcore and badass anyway? I haven't read as many issues of Hydra Cap as Spencer would probably like so, I dunno, let me know if I'm way off here.

So, to summarize...well, not summarize exactly, but to organize these points, lets’ do a list.  Everyone likes lists, right?

1) Showing the "bad guys" losing in, like, probably the very last issue of this year long storyline (which also included the main Captain America book which led up to the actual event) doesn't suddenly omit all those issues where the "bad guys" were shown being edgy and hardcore and badass and smart and powerful and pulling one over on all those dense clueless liberal "good guys," except in this case the bad guys are people who directly abetted in the Holocaust and not the guys who stole forty cakes.

2) This is during a time in the world where antisemitic rhetoric is seeing a startling resurgence -- or maybe just coming back into the light again after hiding away for a bit -- and Holocaust denialism, vandalism of public Jewish spaces, and outright physical violence being more and more common occurrences.

3) Readers in general have been consistently burned by Marvel's consistently tone-deaf depictions of moral or social narratives throughout their events (Civil War: police states are great!) (Civil War II: police states are great!) (IvX: Cyclops is goddamn HITLER for some reason). Jewish readers, in particular, have good reason to not to trust Marvel to be respectful and tactful of their issues. Any such complaints or concerns have been responded to with derision or misunderstanding on Spencer's part, which only makes everyone angrier and more wary.

4) Indeed, Marvel and Spencer's go-to insistence that Hydra are totally not Nazis at all and you're just being nitpicky if you say they're Nazis just further makes them come across as tone-deaf and bullish on the matter, on top of (probably unknowingly, if I’m feeling generous) mirroring the talking points of actual real life Nazis, who've been trying to rebrand themselves as something different for years in order to come across more fluffy and palatable to mainstream sensibilities.

5) I mean there's also the fact that Hydra is -- as currently depicted in this very event by the very writer who keeps saying they're not Nazis on Twitter -- a completely fascistic political regime that stifles free thought and rewrites history through fear, violence, and propaganda and oh hey did someone mention concentration camps? ‘Cuz there are concentration camps in this book.  Hydra is functionally indistinguishable from Nazis in this actual book. This is not a book about Captain America being brainwashed by Saturnians to plant death lasers on the moon, this is a book about Captain America being a Nazi and doing things associated with Nazis in absolutely every respect.  But sure let’s get comic shop owners to dress up like them and stuff

6) "I don’t care if this gets undone next year, next month, next week. I know it’s clickbait disguised as storytelling. I am not angry because omg how dare you ruin Steve Rogers forever. I am angry because how dare you use eleven million deaths as clickbait." Copypasted directly, because how can you get clearer than that.

7) Spencer's work with Sam Wilson Captain America, which generally turns him into a centrist apologist at best who couldn't believe that he himself was ever that much of an annoying liberal activist or something and occasionally fights literal "social justice warriors" on college campuses throwing bombs and internet slang, isn’t a particularly encouraging thing to have hanging on the back of your mind while reading this story about how Steve Rogers was actually a Nazi all along. 8) In a world where an X-Men artist is literally sneaking secret antisemitic propaganda into books that are supposed to celebrate diversity and civil activism, can you really blame people for being antsy about a comic book that is making members of Stormfront cream themselves by revealing that Steve Rogers was a secret Nazi all along?

So yeah, I dunno if I have any great point to make with any of this.  I just felt like collating all the outrage and shedding a little light on how the situation comes across to me.  Secret Empire isn’t exactly the sort of clear-cut idiocy where, y’know, some dense writer fridged yet another female character or replaced yet another hero of color with his white predecessor from forty years ago.  Its problems are a bit more intricate, which means the blowback is a bit more intricate as well.

[putris-et-mulier]

I think you're doing a great work taking about KS and explaining it so clear, and I can see your point. When I was in uni I studied social discussion on controversy media, mainly horror and gore, Sade's work, movies like A Serbian Film. The subject still fascinates me. What surprised me in KS is that I was seeing way more people romanticizing it than discussing this, also those people are girls/young women. Reminded me of girls idolizing Twilight books without seeing the abusive part (cont.)

I get the feeling 'it's bad representation but it's the only representation we got know'. I also think it's possible to enjoy problematic media while recognizing its problems, talking about it, specially between people inside the fandom. KS is complicated cause it also has the objetificaton of homosexuality and the male rape fantasy that is so common in yaoi, but I see where you're coming from. Thank you for all your patience today, it is very important to keep this discussion alive.

Is this a case of "this is bad representation but it's all we have" kind of? I'm passionate about people taking it seriously because it is all we have but it's also part of our culture. People don't seem to believe the disabled people have a culture, participate in our community, or identify with disabled people in history as our ancestors. 

Disabled people aren't doing okay and they've never been doing okay. We could be okay but no one will let us be okay. 

This is why I compared it to rap music. It's also been justified/criticized as being the only representation so it's what the black community just has to work with. Obviously that's not true. Black American culture has created and changed art in significant ways, rap is just one of them. There are nice rappers who don't curse or say misogynistic things, I'm assuming someone bought Will Smith's music, but it's not typical because that's not what it's about. 

Rap music is a way for people to convey their experiences in society when they have no other outlet. It's also an artistic medium that the black community has created and fostered, trying to censor or eradicate the "offensive" rap is incredibly culturally insensitive, especially because those are things that are constantly being appropriated from the black community so to say that to fix the "problem" and not mislead anyone into a life of crime they should just give it up and find something white people (and all of Asia) hasn't stolen yet.

To me, movies like Saw are like white rappers. They aren't all bad but it's not authentic. 

Who built the horror genre? Disabled people. Who has always made a majority of things under this genre? Disabled people. Who stars in these movies? Most Hollywood movies aside, many disabled people. This probably won't be helpful to my argument but it's where a lot of us turned for work after circus freak sideshows no longer hired us. For a lot of us the circus was a surrogate family and the alternative was  imprisonment and medical torture, after that there were no alternatives. It's only been these last few generations that disabled people are even legally allowed in society. 

Even if we suddenly got all the best representation in the world horror will still be important because that's a part of our history. It's a part of our culture. It's ours. It's how we tell our history because we've been completely removed from it. 

If our history is that offensive to everyone, imagine what we and our ancestors have had to go through. A movie eventually ends, disability doesn't.

If other people misuse horror, that is not our problem. That's able-bodied people's problem and it's their responsibility to deal with it. They need to take care of their own people because we are tired of babying them. They are ignorant, I get that, but that's not an excuse anymore. Not on places like this where bigotry isn't supposed to be allowed.

Also, horror has always included sexual and gender minorities for a pretty good reason: sexual and gender minorities were disabled until recently. They were a part of our community out of necessity but now that things have gotten better and homosexuality has been taken off the DSM (meaning it's not considered a disability anymore) but even now, there is so much intersection between disability and sexual and gender minorities that there is a lot of overlap, even if the LGBT™ community ostracizes us. You can even argue that being disabled forces you to live as if you are asexual.

Asexual people do not want their sexuality equated with disability because it's not exactly fun to be disabled and it didn't work very well for able-bodied gays and lesbians. And when you break down the arguments against asexuality they are always ableist. 

Asexuality will never be seen as legitimate sexuality in mainstream culture if it continues to be an assigned sexuality as a tool of subjugation. Disabled people who are asexual are hurt the most by this, IMO, because they were assigned that sexuality so convincing people it's "real" is an even harder battle than for able-bodied asexuals. Disabled Aces will get heard in the arguments about disabled people's sexualization (or lack thereof) because they won't be brushed aside as self-loathing and hopefully they will be considered a part of the LGBT™ or LGBTQ™ or LGBTQIA™, you know any of those that monetize their marginalization.  

[racingtoaredlight]

PRS vs. Gibson

Gibson is a historic, iconic, legendary brand that’s more responsible for shaping the face of western music for the latter half of the 20th Century than any other company than Fender.  In a lot of ways Fender and Gibson couldn’t be more opposite...Fender’s are designed to be easily maintained and repaired while being able to literally be lit on fire and still make music on, Gibson’s are brittle and clunky.  Fender’s are light and slice through a mix, Gibson’s are heavy and plow through a mix.  Fender has had patches of brilliant, forward thinking leadership while Gibson’s C-Suite has been a running comedy of errors since Ted McCarty left (to work with PRS).

I’m not going to compare Fender to PRS because it doesn’t make sense.  While PRS’ are considered to be “Fender/Gibson hybrids,” really the only hybrid aspect of Fender you see is the whammy bar and this really bad imitation of the “Fender sounds” via coil splitting the humbuckers.  Listen, I’m not shitting all over Gibson’s here...while they have their flaws, there’s a reason that the Les Paul and ES-335 and dozens of other models have been used continuously since they were released.  We’ll get to that.

PRS is a close cousin of Gibson more than anything else.  And there’s a lot under the hood that you might not notice that represents a significant improvement in design over Gibson’s iconic instruments.  Despite everything I’m about to write though, Gibson has the ultimate trump card.

***

HEADSTOCK ANGLE

Headstock angle?  Really?

Gibson has known about the above fault FOREVER.  Strings need to have a proper break angle after the nut...in order to tune properly, resonate clearly and essentially make good sounding notes come out.  You can see in the image above how Gibson headstocks are angled backwards (at a 17* angle), so that every string has the proper break when feeding into the tuning pegs.

That idea makes perfect sense.  If you don’t have a neck that’s designed to create that proper break angle, you need to do what Fender did, and add an ugly piece of metal right in the middle of your headstock...

Here’s the problem though...if your headstock is angled at an extreme 17*, it’s very suceptible to break.  Gibson headstocks are so legendary for breaking like in that image above, there’s a common saying “not everyone is meant to own a Gibson.”

Oh, and there’s a solution for this that’s been known forever too.  It’s called a scarf joint, where you take two pieces of wood cut at that 17* angle and glue them together.  But then cork sniffers complain about not having “one-piece necks.”  Why not make the headstock angle less severe?  Because cork sniffers only buy guitars “to vintage spec.”

It’s ridiculous and Gibson is going to die on this hill.  PRS headstocks have a 10* angle.  Same sonic benefits, same break angle, same construction method...and in all my years in guitar forums, I have never seen a PRS headstock break like the hundreds of examples of a Gibson.

And that’s not the only headstock issue either...

***

STRING ANGLE

Another thing that seems insignificant...but it’s fucking huge.  Mega important.

PRS’ headstocks are designed for the strings to feed straight from the nut to the tuner.  One straight line.  You can obviously see on the Gibson headstock, the strings shoot off in different directions after they hit the nut (lol).  In theory...old, outdated theory...it doesn’t matter what the string does before the bridge and after the nut, as long as it’s secure.

Which is ridiculous.  Here’s the thing, man...what good is music if it’s not in tune?  Nothing.  It’s garbage and sounds like shit, even if you can’t immediately tell why.  What good is a guitar if a string breaks mid-song?  Not much of one, unless you know how to deal with it.

These two variables are legitimate things you have to think about if you play in a working band and choose to use a Gibson.  The D and G strings (strings 3 and 4) go out of tune frequently, no matter how perfectly set up your guitar is.  You gotta be ready to tune at a moment’s notice...and even be able to re-tune mid-song when you notice one of those strings slipped.

The A and B strings (strings 2 and 5) go out less frequently, but when I play Allman Brothers’ “Ramblin’ Man” and I’m at the end where there’s those beautiful harmonies...if both the B and G strings slip, those harmonies are completely ruined.  What good is a great sounding guitar if it’s not in tune?

Now, I’m not saying the Gibson goes out of tune when you play 3 notes or something...but compared to a PRS?  The PRS and it’s straight-pull headstock alone are designed not to go out of tune...and that’s before we mention that he uses locking tuners, which secure the string completely (where the strings on GIbson tuners can occasionally slip, another flaw).

Less stress on the strings, better tuning...that shit lets you focus on playing music instead of fussing with an instrument.

***

ERGONOMICS AND WEIGHT

On the bottom picture, you can see what’s called a “belly cut.”  Another thing that might sound ridiculous, but think about how these things are used...

The belly cut was revolutionary when it came out in 1954 on the Fender Stratocaster.  Guitars before this...even Leo Fender’s own designs...were on what’s obviously called “slab bodies.”  Look at the top pic of the Les Paul, and it’s pretty obvious why it’s called a slab.  There’s no contours or anything to fit against a guitarist’s body or where they rest their arm.  When this came out...

...oh man, guitarists fucking LOVED it.  You can see the belly cut here, where it just melts against your body...and you can also see the contour where you’d rest your arm.  Why is this important?

When you’re playing a show or recording, you’re moving around, playing with energy for multiple hours, and when a giant slab of wood is digging into your ribs and forearm over and over, it fucking sucks straight up.  When the Strat was released in 1954, the comfort of playing it was as big of a draw as how beautiful it sounded.  Hell, look what Jeff Beck did to his famous 1951 Esquire.

He just said “fuck it” and did it himself.

A comfortable guitar to play for hours, is a guitar that you will play for hours.  Gibson will never adopt this because of the cork sniffers, even though it’s been the number one complaint about a Les Paul since it’s inception in 1952.

Playing a Les Paul is a labor of love.  You have to LOVE playing a Les Paul to make it your main guitar because it’s wrecked so many backs and shoulders over the years, that you know this going in.  Imagine playing a gig...two 90 minute sets or something...Les Paul’s typically weigh between 9-12 pounds.

Keep in mind that 9-12 pounds is digging into your shoulder, ribs and elbow for three hours...and because it’s just a slab of wood with no contours, it’s swinging around and moving, making it all more of a pain in the ass.  A Telecaster doesn’t have contours, but they’re the lightest guitars out there at 6-7 pounds.

PRS made this a non-issue.  Their guitars are rarely over 8.5 lbs., they’re ergonomic and designed to fit comfortably against the guitarist’s body and be played for hours.  They don’t swing around, move on the strap, are perfectly balanced...

You have to a fight a Gibson, pretty much no matter what model it is...PRS’ are so balanced and comfortable, you sometimes forget it’s there.

***

GIBSON’S TRUMP CARD

To sum up the advantages in design I detailed above...PRS guitars are more stable, more resonant and less likely to have the headstock pop off completely after a very minor fall compared to Gibson.  That headstock thing is almost the perfect definition of an Achilles’ Heel.

So why do people still play Gibson’s?

A bunch of intangible reasons that don’t mean much unless you have an instrument in your hands.  But these things are the most critical aspects of what an instrument is supposed to do, because if a headstock snaps, making that instrument worthless...just pick up another one!

The most Les Paul-like PRS is the McCarty 594 (named after the former Gibson honcho mentioned above)...but why doesn’t it sound like a Les Paul?  Why is it clearly “lesser” sounding when it has almost the same body thickness, pickups, electronics, scale length...all that shit?  I honestly don’t know.

But it is.  I call the Les Paul the heavyweight champion of the world, because it is unbelievably thick, rich, meaty and huge sounding, almost to an overwhelming degree.  That serves a very, very useful purpose with any type of music featuring overdriven amps...so basically anything from blues to the heaviest of metal.  And the McCarty comes close in sound...close, but not the heavyweight champion of the world.

The other Gibson design that’s on the Mount Rushmore of guitars is the ES-335...which isn’t as thick and meaty as a Les Paul, but due to the hollow wings, has this wonderful bloom and sparkle.  You can feel the hollow instrument vibrating against your body, and it occupies this sonic middle-ground that other semi-hollow and Gibson-styled guitars have never fully captured.

I know it sounds like a cop-out, after all that, to just say “yea well Gibson’s are better sounding, and that’s all that matters,” but that’s the case in my opinion.  Also, there’s something psychologically to fighting with your guitar...keeps your mind active in the moment, instead of letting your thoughts drift because it seems like a guitar plays itself.  For all the ergonomic advantages of the Strat, while it’s comfortable, you gotta fight it to get it sounding its best.  That’s not the case for a PRS.

***

PRS’ TRUMP CARD

PRS’ sound damn good, OK?  We’re talking splitting hairs here in the sonic differences between, say, a Les Paul and McCarty 594.  It’s just the Gibson’s have that certain something extra I can’t define, that’s all...

Fighting guitars is fun when you’re feeling it and it’s a great gig that you’re fired up about...but if it’s some shitty bar gig you regret taking on, 45 minutes away, in front of thirty people that aren’t paying attention, do you really want to have a 10 pound boat anchor digging into your shoulder and ribs all night?  Not really.

PRS guitars sound more than good enough to get the job done.  No-playing guitar nerds care about specs and stupid things that don’t mean a goddamned thing like “accuracy,” pros care about reliability and durability, the audience cares about NONE of this shit.

Why is that Gibson headstock thing a big deal and not a big deal at the same time?  All the audience cares about is if they like what they hear...it’s binary.  If they pay attention, it’s good.  If they don’t, it’s bad.  If something like the drummer knocking a Gibson over and breaking the headstock can keep you from playing, that’s a big deal.  If you borrow another guitar, the audience won’t even know it’s borrowed, because...again...they do not care about any of this.

Plus there’s the value proposition.  PRS isn’t compared to Gibson’s USA issues...where $3,800 vs. $2,500 for a McCarty vs. a Les Paul seems like PRS’ are ungodly expensive. Given the standard of quality, however...the comparison is to Gibson’s Custom Shop lines, where that $3,800 McCarty is now up against a peer Historic Gibson that will cost you anywhere from $5,500 up to $8,500.

Much different value proposition there.

*for the record, I consider Gibson’s current USA line to be the best value in new high-end guitars.

***

CONCLUSION

I do tho, so fuck you.