#obviously it's impossible to tell how they feel about it now since it's been nearly 20 years

[theoneprecioustome]

Old Interviews

A couple of years ago, I came across a compilation of interviews, including some that shared some very interesting info about Aigis' role in the game and the reasons why she didn't have a S-Link in the original Persona 3. I didn't trust my Japanese enough to capture all the nuance though, so the screenshots have been sitting in my folders collecting dust.

Well, no more! We now luckily have a professional Japanese translator in the Aikoto Server, and she has kindly gone ahead and translated the interviews in question. Thank you so much, kitaroai!

Interviews below the cut!

Dengeki PlayStation September 8, 2006 issue Vol.364 "Persona 3" Development Staff Interview

Dengeki PlayStation: I got the impression that Aigis was the main heroine of this work. What made you decide on having a robot girl as the game’s main heroine?

Tanaka (Writer): While I didn’t particularly set out to write her as one would a “main heroine”, we felt that a character who is unaffected by death was essential to a story with “Death” as its theme. In order to explore that theme, it was crucial to depict the process of an existence that starts-off not understanding the meaning of “death”, only to eventually come to face it and acknowledge it.

Soejima (Character Designer): When it comes “heroines”, the game has a system that allows you to date various girls… But personally, I feel that Yukari is a girl that is nearby, while Aigis is the heroine of the main story, or to be more exact, a character that is at the very core of it.

Dengeki PlayStation: So rather than a “heroine”, she could be considered another protagonist?

Hashino (Director): Yes… Aigis is special. She was necessary to depict the story we wanted to tell.

Dengeki PlayStation: I imagine that she is the only female character without a Social Link precisely because she is the one at the heart of the story.

Tanaka: Indeed. It wouldn’t be realistic to say that you can experience love with a robot partner in the exact same way you would with a human, but above all, we feared that giving her a Social Link would make her special role in the story seem less important.

Hashino: She was going to have a Social Link at first and we prepared the scenario for it, but we ultimately decided not to include it.

Dengeki PlayStation: And what about an ending that's influenced by the relationships built in the Social Links? For example, did you ever consider having character-exclusive endings?

Hashino: The staff discussed having character-exclusive endings depending on which Social Links the player did. However, we ultimately decided not to do so because it would take us away from the main story and from what we truly wanted to depict. The relationships with the girls reach their own conclusions in the daily school life section, which is separate from the main story.

Translation by: kitaroai

Material/Dengeki PlayStation July 28, 2006 issue Vol.359 "Persona 3" Interview with Katsura Hashino and Shigenori Soejima

Hashino: Aigis, on the other hand, is a character we added from the very beginning. Since she is a robot, she lacks “feelings”, so we wanted to contrast that with the Protagonist’s emotional side. She was also an indispensable character because she has no fear of “Death”, the main theme of this work.

Soejima: The setting of the story came before the concept, I believe. I remember I started drawing without knowing the story nor its stakes, which was a struggle.

Hashino: […] At first, Soejima seemed to be against the idea of a robot girl, but after convincing him that it was necessary precisely because Aigis is the heroine, it somehow worked out. Was that why you designed her with her machinery exposed?

Soejima: No, it’s not as if I drew her like that as a form of revenge (laughs). I just wanted her design to have more of a nostalgic vibe rather than a high-tech one. My tastes also played a part in it, though (laughs).

Translation by: kitaroai

Plus! One cute extra, this time translated by me:

Materials/Dengeki Maou September 2008 issue supplement “Persona 4” Katsura Hashino, Shigenori Soejima, Kazuhisa Wada Interview

[...]

Soejima (Character Designer): By the way, when it comes to Persona 3, I only worked directly on the one scene where we see Aigis for the first time during the trip to Yakushima.

Dengeki Maou: Do you mean that was the scene you were most particular about?

Soejima: Since that is the scene where we see Aigis for the first time, the Director, Hashino, asked me to make it as cute as possible (Laughs).

Translation by: @theoneprecioustome

[hearts4chriss]

𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍.

𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐁𝐒𝐅! 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐂𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬!𝐏𝐎𝐂 𝐛𝐬𝐟

prompt by this request: "chris getting jealous bc his bsf seems flirty with matt so he confesses his feelings and it ends with smuttttt”

contains: HELLA SMUTTT, Chris confessing his feelings, mad jealous Chris, dom!chris, suggestive, “flirting” w Matt??, Chris and yours first kiss, choking, spanking, degrading names (slut, whore yktv), MUCH dumification, use of pet names (mama, baby, sweetheart, good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl ), stomach bulge!, flashbacks of Chris fantasizing about you, overstimulation, cream pie, squirting, Chris having a massive cock obviously, missionary, slight m!oral, aftercare as always!! Heavy ( bath tg, praising, concerned!chris reassurance

a/n- this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so here it is

For years, since we were kids. I’ve always had a huge crush on my bestfriend.

I couldn’t get over her no matter how hard I tried and it grew more and more especially since she lives in LA now and we see her almost everyday.

It got worse. So bad. I needed her

I remember seeing her in an orange bikini complimenting her gorgeous features. The way the bottoms hugged her curves making her ass pop out was enough to make me finish in my pants.

She was gorgeous, I wanted to have her badly but it was Nearly impossible fo get her alone.

Especially with Matt around. It pissed me off when I’d see them laughing together or making tiktoks.

That’s my girl

I remember sitting in my room scrolling on instagram when I got the notification she posted on her story

Fuck she looked so good.

the way the grey shorts hugged her ass just how I liked, she looked so gorgeous too.

I, unintentionally started palming myself through my sweats.

I couldn’t help it she had such an affect on me.

I pulled my sweats down revealing my boxers with a wet spot where my tip was.

“Shit”. I groan pulling them down fully as my dick slapped against my stomach begging to be touched, wishing it was her hand and not mine.

I began to stroke myself with shaky hands imagining it was her lips wrapped around me and I throw my head back against the pillows as my mind wandered

She was irresistible, I had to have her.

We always had a flirty thing going on and I didn’t think it would get this far.

Until…

Today was on of those days where I was in the kitchen leaning on the counter drinking a Pepsi pretending to watch TV as I listen to her faint giggles as her and my fucking brother watched TV.

I felt my hand tighten around the can as I saw how close they were, knowing he didn’t like her but I didn’t care. I wanted her all too myself.

I sighed throwing my can out coming up with an idea to figure out a way to get her for me.

Matt and nick going to get food.

“hey Matt, wanna go get some food? Y/n likes this Chinese place it’s about an hour away, nick prob wants to go”. I say smiling with a cocky grin and he rolls his eyes.

“Okay fine I’ll be back in like 4 fucking hours nick let’s go!”. Matt tells and Nick comes downstairs.

“Y/n, you’re so lucky we love you”. Nick says sarcastically and they walk out the house but fuck something about the way Matt looked at her before he left just made me more pissed off.

“Chris?”. I stand up adjusting my shorts as the grey material rolled up my ass and my tank top hugged around my tits the watching Chris’s eyes wander.

“What the fuck are you trying to do to me”. Chris mutters into my ear, his hand wrapping around my neck and my breath hitches.

“W-what are you talking about?”. I shudder as his blue eyes pour into mine with an unhappy expression giving me a pity laugh.

“Flirting with my brother in front of me? Seriously?! Is it not obvious how much I want you?”. Chris confessed his nose touching mine making me gulp, my thighs closing together accidentally.

There was no doubt Chris was attractive but hell if I knew he liked me shit I’d probably let him fuck me or something.

“You? Want me?” I said slightly confused and utterly shocked and he takes a deep breath.

“you have no fucking idea how much I want you, and I have no problem showing him that your my girl”. Chris gave me a sly smile picking me up by my ass carrying me downstairs to his room.

“C-Chris wait-“. I was cut off by him kissing me and I melt into his touch. His hands grip my ass tighter making me gasp, his tongue massaging mine as I moan into the kiss.

“Strip”. He demands standing me up and I tilt my head. And he gives me those eyes and immediately comply beginning to peal of my clothes leaving me in a matching set of orange. Chris’s favourite colour.

“Fuck ma you look so pretty..all for me right?” He asks his hands playing with my bra strap making my panties dampen.

“Yes Chris- all for you”. I match his gaze and he smirked pushing me on the bed as I scooted back leaving him room to climb above me.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck you”. Chris leaves a soft kiss to my cheek practically ripping my panties off me and I squirm.

“Chris! I liked those!”. I whine and he rolls his eyes pulling down his sweatpants and boxers in one movement and his thick, and painfully hard cock springs out hitting his stomach and my heart beat picks up

how the fuck was that supposed to fit inside me?

Chris took in my nervous expression and let out a soft laugh placing his hands on my thighs

“Spread ur legs for me”. He taps my legs and I spread them apart revealing my wet pussy, the arousal glistening on my inner thighs.

he runs a finger along my slit and I jolt slightly at the sudden sensation.

“shit- ur so wet, did i make you like this? Or was it my brother”. Chris asked tilting his head, his jawn clenched ans my breath hitched as he continued moving his finger.

“No answer? Guess I’ll fuck the answer out of you”. Chris pressed my legs against my chest before slamming his cock deep inside me, stretching me out painfully I almost couldn’t take it.

“f-fuck Chris! T-too much!”. I stutter trying to push his hand away but he quickly slaps it away, using my legs as leverage to begin pounding my inside me.

Chris didn’t give me time to adjust to his large size, tears already forming on my eyes from the pleasure.

“shit- your pussy feels so good, better than I’ve imagined”. He let out a deep groan watching how my pussy sucked him in, Chris’s hips driving into mine as I squint my eyes shut.

“Already becoming a mess on my cock? Should’ve kept matt here so he could see how much of slut you are for me”. Chris grips my neck angling his hips to thrust deeper and I squeal, my eyes meeting with his blues, an electric feeling shooting through me.

He wouldn’t let up his pace, his cock plunging into my tight hole as the pain turned to pleasure thankfully as my cunt morphed to fit his dick.

And Chris was fucking right, I was a slut for him and I has tried to hide it this whole time by being innocent and flirtatious with his brother but the second I was underneath him, I was begging for him to touch me

“Oh shitt- d-don’t stop- fuck”. I throw my head back on the soft pillows, moaning curses breathlessly, my tits bouncing with his quick and hard movements, bound to leave bruises between my thighs burning with sensation.

“mmph fuck- wasn’t planning on it pretty girl”. He moaned, completely infatuated with how I wrapped around him perfectly, like I was made for him. And shit- was he made for me.

She felt so good, almost as if her pussy and every thing about her was made for me.

I couldn’t get enough of her, the Moans and squeaks of my name leaving her swollen lips could’ve made me cum on the spot.

the way she could barley form a sentence as I fucked her, and I wasn’t even close to being done with her yet.

I was going to make sure she knew that she was mine, my fucking girl.

“Chris-you feel so good”. She moaned my name again, turning me on much more than it should’ve, the way her eyes barely opened, and how she’d bite her and stare at me grasping her breasts.

“yeah? you like when I fuck you dumb like this? Can’t even get a word out?”. I taunt, I gripped her neck tighter, her legs finding their way up on my shoulders crying out my name like it’s the only one she knew.

I couldn’t even answer, the things he were asking me required my full attention and shit- I was so far gone.

“I suggest you answer me ma because your about to to cum”. Chris presses his chest on mine, our noses touching as he breathed heavily into my mouth while I reciprocated the same action.

“mm-m I-fuck I-i love it”. I shudder on each word, praying he heard me because I really could not talk right now. I squeezed my eyes shut and he chuckled seeing how speechless he fucked.

“God I could listen to you like this all day”. Chris grunted into my ear as I felt the stomach coil I had began to burst unexpectedly from the overwhelming pleasure.

Chris made me squirt

“S-shit! I’m sorry I-“. I shook as the fluids made a mess over his lower stomach but gasping as he didn’t slow down.

“Never apologize that was hot as fuck- got one more in you?”. He pants resting his head on my shoulder quickening his pace and I whimper gripping his back.

“Oh god Chris- I-I can’t”. My nails run down his back making marks and he bites his bottom lip as I pulled him closer.

His hips pushing into mine, as my juices had coated his cock, leaking out of me creating a wet sensation of our sex.

“You can take it baby, being such a good girl, fuck just one more”. He let out a shaky moan throwing a my leg around his waist and I let out a loud moan at the angle Chris’s cock hit, brushing my g-spot.

“C-Chris ur so deep-“. I let out pornographic sounds and he gave me a deep kiss before pressing his hand where his dick was poking through.

his hand pressed down on the bulge in my stomach and I felt the tears run down my face from the overwhelming pleasure.

“that’s all me baby- fuck I love ur pussy so much-“. He stutters throwing his head as hair sticks to his forehead, the sight was more than appealing.

His slightly parted lips producing whimpers, curses and moans of my name. The way he squeezed my hips making sure I could feel every thick inch of him and the sweat coating over his body.

Her lips parted releasing pants and moans of my name and the occasional “fuck”, her hair now sweated out with hickeys along her neck and tits reminding her that she was mine now. The way her nails would grip my back drawing marks that showed how much she enjoyed it.

“Oh shit- ma- can I cum inside you? M’need you so bad-“. He moans into my neck and I shiver and chant yes’s.

Chris released his seed inside me triggering a second hard orgasm for me, creaming his dick as my body shook.

I turned my head to lay on the pillow before he could catch a glimpse of me, slowly sliding his cock out of me.

He took one look at me and his eyes immediately shifted to one of concern

“wait wait shit- did I hurt you?”. Chris started, seeing how my legs shook from the orgasm I just had.

“please talk to me”. He cupped my cheeks and I gave him a soft smile.

“I’m fine Chris that was- shit- the best sex I’ve ever had”. I let out a quiet sigh and a smirk tugged at his lips as he pulled me into a bridal style hold.

“Well come on let’s get you cleaned up, I wanna spend time with my girl”. He giggled like a child and I rolled my eyes as he carried me into the bathroom running a warm bath for both of us

“No seriously tho your okay?”. He said softly rubbing my shoulders as we soaked in the warm tub.

“Chris the way you put that dick on me I’m more than ok”. I kissed his cheek and his cheeks flushed a bit as he leaned back against the tub whilst I’m in his arms.

She’s really my girl.

@sturniolopowers @gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog @blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chriss @nonamegirlxsturniolo @luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt @luv4kozume-deactivated20240512 @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @vanteguccir @ast3ro1dzz @sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva @braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @kqyslyho3 @imaslut4kehlani @sturnsfav @sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @gamermattsgf @lilyloveschris @dlyansworld @chrisloyalgf @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @ineedchriscock @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @luhsexcbihh @nickgetsmewetter @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris

[swarvey]

Enamored with Paper Rings right now. It’s written so, so well 🥺 Do you have any headcanons about meeting Harvey in college/taking over the farm years after that?

meeting harvey in college | harvey x gn!reader

summary -> after meeting harvey during college, the two of you hit it off right away, slowly growing to become more than friends.

a/n: ahhh tysm!!!! that means a lot <33 i hope you enjoy!! reader and harvey are at med school btw

harvey

the two of you met during freshman year of university while taking the same course

after being placed in the same group project together for the semester, you hit it off with him right away

harvey, though? it was pretty much love at first sight.

you best believe this man purposefully chose his seat near you because he thought you were cute. not that he'll ever tell you that

it didn't help that he was completely enamored with your personality

(nearly imploded the first time you laughed at one of his jokes)

knew he wanted to be with you pretty much right away, but he also didn't want to rush you

so, being the man that he is, he waited patiently until you were ready to express your own feelings before showing you how much he cares about you.

freshman year

"this is impossible," you groan, letting your head fall onto the mattress beneath you. "i quit."

harvey laughs, rolling his chair over to the bed and gently lifting you up by your hoodie. "unfortunately, you can't quit," he tells you, smiling at your frown. "the rest of our groupmates quit half a semester ago, so it's up to us to save our grades."

you sigh deeply as you force yourself to sit up, grabbing your laptop and pulling it onto your lap. as you begin to work — swearing under your breath about your "good for nothing groupmates" — harvey sneaks a look at you once in a while, admiring the way you bite your lip in thought and squint your eyes at the screen.

he wants to be with you, of course he does. he thinks any guy who doesn't should get schedule a check-up with their doctor, since they obviously aren't thinking straight. no, the problem isn't that he doesn't have feelings for you — it's that you can't seem to tell he does. while he knows he should use his time at college to explore and meet new people, he can't shake the fact that, to be frank, you're really the only one he can picture himself with.

"harvey, can you look at this? i swear this doesn't make sense."

"sure!" shaking out of his daydream, harvey sits beside you on the bed, trying not to pay attention to the way your arms are pressed against each other.

while others may move on after realizing their feelings aren't returned, harvey figures he doesn't mind waiting a little bit, especially if the reward is having you all to himself.

sophomore year

"how do i look?"

harvey turns to look at you as you emerge from your bedroom, bashfully showing off your halloween costume with a broad grin. you're dressed up as one of your favorite video game characters, your hair and make-up done perfectly by your friend. she stands next to you with a proud look on her face, eyes digging into his skull. he can basically hear her daring him to say you look bad.

"amazing," he voices, watching as she nods in satisfaction and walks away.

"honestly, harvs, you couldn't have been a little more creative?" you ask, tugging at his lab coat. "you realize we're in med school, right? so half the people we see tonight are going to be wearing this."

he shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck. "well, i couldn't think of anything else," he mumbles. "it's not like i'm trying to impress anyone, anyway."

you hum, nonchalantly fixing his collar and centering his stethoscope. "well, at least you look all cleaned up — maybe you'll catch someone's eye," you tease.

yet again, you don't notice how he stiffens, letting out a quick breath when your hands graze his neck. it's been a year now, and harvey has no idea how you haven't noticed his feelings for you. still, he's been patient, and he truly doesn't mind waiting; it's not like there's a downside, in his mind. the two of you have grown even closer since freshman year, even finding time to see each other during the summer.

"alright, ready?" you ask, grabbing the sides of his arms and laughing when he jumps. "geez, harvey, i know it's halloween, but you don't have to be so on edge. i'm here to protect you!" you cross your arms, feigning toughness.

"really?" he doubts, giving you a questionable look.

you nod, the air leaving your lungs when your friend pokes your side. "we're all doomed if you're supposed to save us," she jokes. you laugh as she starts pulling you to the door, calling for harvey to follow.

he barely hears her, though, hearing only your bright laughter and seeing only your amused eyes.

i can wait.

junior year

harvey is growing tired of this.

he watches helplessly as you talk to a senior — a senior who is clearly attracted to you, by the way — and allow him to pour you another drink. he scowls at the greedy look in his gaze, his eyes raking you up and down as you sip out of your cup. he knows you're clueless and remembers how excited you were to socialize at the formal, especially since this upperclassman is known to be at the top of his class, but truthfully?

he doesn't give a damn.

"oh, harvey!" you say, eyes brightening when he walks over. he doesn't even look at you as he grabs your arm, locking it with his. he can feel you staring at him, his ears burning with embarrassment as he faces the senior.

"what are the two of you talking about?" he asks, his hold on you tightening when the older student leans forward slightly.

"nothing of concern," he says, eyeing your hand clutching harvey's arm. "just some personal techniques i've learned over the years."

harvey's lips form a grim line on his face as he glares at him, the music playing in the background seeming to fade away. he can sense the intentions of the other student, knowing if he weren't there, he would be purposefully getting you drunk to do god knows what with you.

"we're leaving," harvey declares, "but thanks for sharing your insight with them. i'll be sure to ask all about it when we get back."

without another word, harvey drags you out of the room despite your small protests, focusing only on getting you away from the creep. he lets out a breath of relief as you make it outside, resting his hands on his knees for a moment before straightening to look at you with worry-filled eyes.

"what were you thinking?" he scolds, scanning you quickly as if checking for injuries. "can't you tell when someone is trying to take advantage of you? how much have you had to drink? here, take my jacket, it's getting chilly out—"

his words get caught in his throat when you lean forward and hug him tightly, your head resting on his chest.

"what would i do without you, harvey?" you quietly ask, pulling away to look at him with a gaze he's never seen before. "no one's ever cared about me like you, you know that?"

harvey clears his throat, looking away as he gently wraps his arms around you. "i think you had a little too much to drink," he says, attempting to pull you off. "i'll take you home, okay? we can talk more tomorrow—"

before he can finish his sentence, your lips are covering his, your arms now thrown around his neck as his hands find the small of your back. after a moment of shock, he's kissing you back, eyes shut as he pulls you closer to him.

when you break off, he looks at you with wide eyes, blinking as he registers what just happened. his cheeks are tinted red.

you yawn, grabbing his arm once again and leaning on him. "i'm tired," you mutter. "let's go home."

"r-right, let's get you to bed. we can talk about this after you get some rest." wordlessly, he begins to walk you home, hoping with his entire being that you won't forget this by the morning.

senior year

adrenaline rushes through harvey's body as everyone throws their caps into the air, celebratory horns blaring in his ears as everyone begins to file out of the stadium. he can hardly believe it's been four years already — it feels like it was just yesterday he was meeting you in class for the first time, already drawn in by your curious eyes.

after greeting his parents and taking some pictures with them, he promises to be right back before racing off to find you, his bouquet of flowers still in hand. he quickly searches the crowd, knowing you should be around this area, but is stopped in his tracks when you practically pounce on him.

"we did it!" you exclaim excitedly, swaying him from side to side. your family watches amusedly as he shyly waves at them. "we actually graduated, can you believe it?"

"well, i can believe i graduated," he teases. "i'm not sure about you."

"hey! i used my resources well throughout college, alright?" you defend, pushing him away lightly.

"i'm kidding." he pulls you to his side, quickly stealing a peck on your lips when no one's watching.

you sigh, looking down at the cap in your hands. "i can't believe it's over," you express. "it went by so fast."

he nods in agreement, watching as everyone celebrates with their families. "keep in mind, i spent nearly three of those years chasing after you."

"you never said anything!"

"did i need to? i'm sure everyone else knew except for you."

"and whose fault is that?"

"alright, enough fighting!" harvey's mom laughs, walking up to your family and greeting them. "let's take a picture of you two."

"ready?" his dad calls, angling his camera. "smile!"

after developing the photo a week later, harvey notices that, while you're brightly grinning at the camera, he's too busy smiling down at you, reveling in the fact that all his waiting didn't go to waste.

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

Hold You To That

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Prompt - ‘A person could hold a longing in them all their life, but every now and again it broke the surface and breathed.’

Sometimes it was easier to distance yourself from a situation, when you could see it playing out in front of you, could see that you were only setting yourself up for heartbreak, setting yourself up to fail, it was easier to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.

It was the smart thing to do, taking yourself away from the situation would save you a world of pain, of hurt, of wasting your nights away thinking about the what if’s. And you were smart, you usually put yourself first and could deal with things not going your way.

But when it came to him…god you felt like you were the dumbest person alive. You’d tried at the beginning, you really had tried to step back, to put some distance between the growing friendship when you realised your eyes gazed at his smile for too long, when you realised you were doing anything to hear his laugh, you really had taken a step back and thought of the pros and cons.

There hadn’t been too many cons but there was one major one that stopped you telling him how you felt.

Penelope Garcia also liked him.

You could see it a mile away, could see it in the way she insulted him and complained about him behind his back. You could see it in the stolen glances both of them risked and the smiles that pulled at their faces when the other looked away.

You knew letting your feelings develop would only hurt you but by the time you had realised they were there it was too late.

Luke and you had been fast friends, it hadn’t taken more than a conversation or two for you to feel comfortable around him; to start smiling naturally around him. The two of you worked well together, easily able to read each other without a word and moving together silently to catch whatever unsub you were dealing with. It hadn’t taken long for Hotch to notice and the two of you were paired together more often than not nowadays.

The close bond you’d developed at work bled into your personal lives and it wasn’t long before you were spending as much time at the other's house as you were your own. Luke had a draw of your things in his place, clothing and toiletries swapped from your to go bag into his draw and bathroom, his hoodies had found their way into your closest as his own spare sets of clothes lay in their own draw and a collection of Roxy’s toys and spare bowls occupied a corner of your living room like they’d always been there.

By the time you realised you liked Luke it was too late, you and Luke’s lives were so connected, the daily routines you had made around each other were too developed. You tried putting some distance between the two of you, tried keeping it professional and only seeing him at work but Luke hadn’t let that last for more than a few days before he called you out on why you were avoiding him. Obviously you hadn’t been able to tell him the real reason and that had left you standing in front of him like an idiot as your mouth opened and closed before you were saved by Hotch calling you all into brief on the newest case.

Distance hadn’t worked, so instead you tried just shoving your feelings down. Naturally that also didn’t work but there wasn’t much else you could do. It was hard to hide how you felt, watching as Penelope and Luke went back and forth with each other and having to hide how much it hurt you was difficult at the best of times but when you were surrounded by some of the best profilers in the country…well it was nearly impossible. Thankfully though most of the team hadn’t noticed, you were pretty sure Rossi knew from the sympathetic looks he shot you but he had never called you out on it so you didn’t mind you hadn’t completely been able to hide it.

It had been years since Luke had joined the team and not much had changed, Luke and Penelope had only gotten more comfortable around each other, you had continued to fall harder and harder for Luke as each day passed and kept on shoving it so far down until it hurt.

“Y’know,” Rossi said from your side, causing you to startle as you hadn’t heard him. You had been too busy watching Luke lean against the counter, giving Penelope a soft smile as she had her back turned to him, their words not loud enough for you to hear from your desk. “Sometimes we put other people’s happiness above our own too much.”

You turned away from the break area and looked at Rossi who was leaning against your desk, looking at you with a soft look of concern.  

“Rossi,” you began with a sigh, “I’m not about to ruin my friendship with Penelope just to get rejected.”

“Who said anything about rejection?” Rossi shot back, his lips twitching upwards as you rolled your eyes and gestured discreetly over to the pair.

“Seriously, Rossi? Aren’t you meant to be one of the best profilers? They like each other, I’ve known that for years now so any hurt I’m feeling is on me.” You told him, trying to keep your voice firm but it shook a little, betraying you, not that you could hide much from Rossi.

“Y/N,” Rossi sighed, bringing his hand up to rest on yours but you shook your head and pulled away from him as you stood from your seat.

“Please just drop it, Rossi.” You pleaded softly and Rossi just nodded at you sadly, watching as you walked away.

Luke’s attention was pulled away from Penelope and over to you, his smile softening as he watched you and Rossi talking amongst yourselves. It only took a moment before his eyebrows knitted together as he watched you swallow hard, your jaw tensing as you listened to whatever Rossi was saying. It was when you stood up that he took a step forward without meaning to, noticing how shaky your hands were even as you clenched them in a fist to hide it.

He watched as you left the room and missed the way Rossi’s eyes followed him as he left after you.

“Hey,” he called and watched as you tensed before seemingly forcing yourself to relax as you stopped and waited for him to catch up to you with a few quick strides. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” you told him as you looked past his shoulder rather than at him. “Rossi and I were just, it doesn’t matter, everything’s fine.”

“Y/N,” he murmured softly and watched as your jaw tightened slightly, “c’mon talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you told him, keeping your voice as even as you could before taking a steadying breath. “Listen, if there was something to talk about I’d tell you, ok?” You lied and watched as Luke looked over you once more before nodding.

“Alright,” he said with a smile and you felt yourself relax, sure maybe you and Luke would never be a thing and you would spend so much time longing over what could have been but Luke was still here, he was still smiling at you, he was still your friend and that was enough.

It had to be.

“You wanna get some lunch?” He asked you, keeping his tone light and smile in place. “My hands cramping from all this paperwork.”

You laughed and suddenly Luke felt his smile become more real, of course he was still worried over whatever you and Rossi had been talking about but if you wouldn’t talk to him then the least he could do was take your mind off it.

“Sure, I could use a break.” You answered and mirrored his expression back to him even if it did carry a hint of sadness in it, you would savour any moment you had with Luke, dating or not.

“Good, my treat.” He insisted and when you went to open your mouth he shushed you before he broke out into a grin and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he led you to the elevator.

And so it passed like that for a long time, you forcing yourself to be content just being Luke’s friend, watching as him and Penelope settled into whatever kind of relationship they had going and your feelings for Luke just never letting up, never giving you a break.

You thought it might have been easier when Penelope left, much as you hated the thought because you loved Penelope, she was one of your best and closest friends, but not having to watch her and Luke every day at work made it easier to ignore your feelings, ignore the hurt you hated feeling when you saw them together.

It had been easier for a while until covid hit and the team was pulled apart, you and Luke were pulled apart. Where Luke, JJ and Rossi got to stay with the BAU, Spencer and Matt had been sent on secret missions that only Emily, with her promotion, and the other FBI higher ups were allowed to know about, Tara had been sent well honestly you were even sure where she was now but you hadn’t seen here in too long and then there was you.

You had been requested back with the FBI’s Undercover and Sensitive Operation Unit, a job you had worked for years prior to transferring to the BAU. You hadn’t minded at first, honestly you hardly protested at all, Emily promised it was a three month assignment and then everyone would be back together and as much as the thought of not seeing Luke for three months ached another part of you needed it.

But now it had been three years, the undercover mission you had originally been assigned to long since complete, along with four others and here you were in California deep undercover as you worked a drug case. You and Luke hadn’t seen each other for more than a few minutes in nearly two years and now here you were on opposite ends of the country, not even able to call each other for fear of blowing the operation.

Thankfully you were nearing the end of this operation, waiting on one last bit of evidence that would find all the big names in jail before the week was over. It only took two more days before you were in a hotel room, dreading the call where you’d have to decline another operation because…honestly you were drained. You missed your team, you’d done three years of back to back undercover work and you just wanted to go home.

You missed your friends, missed your own bed, your own identity. You missed Luke. God, you missed him so bad. You didn’t know what was happening with him anymore, three years ago the two of you couldn’t have imagined going a day without seeing each other yet alone nearly two years.

You used to love your position with the undercover unit but after spending so much time with the BAU you knew that was where you were meant to be. Just as you sat on the bed and picked your phone up to call Emily and plead with her to get you back it lit up with a call from Luke.

You felt some of the tension leave you just seeing his name before your eyes went wide and you quickly answered it. Luke never called, he knew it was dangerous to call you and you hadn’t let him know your operation was over.

Something was wrong.

“Hey, can you talk?” He asked, a smile on his face as the video call connected but he kept his voice hushed.

“Luke,” You breathed out, cursing yourself as you felt your eyes sting at hearing him for the first time in months, you took a shaky breath before nodding. “I finished my op today, I was just about to call Emily and then you.”

“Oh thank God!” Luke breathed a sigh of relief as his smile broke out into a grin, “I’ve missed you, Y/N/N.”

“I miss you too.” You choked out, feeling the tears you’d tried to blink away well up and you shook your head as you let out a shaky laugh. “I miss you so much.”

You didn’t care if Luke pieced it together, didn’t care that right now you were just too tired to push down your feelings, didn’t care that they had been dragged up to the surface so abruptly and it was too much. You didn’t know if Luke and Penelope were together, you knew they had gone on a date before everything had been ripped apart so you hadn’t exactly been able to keep up to date with how it had gone but right now you didn’t care.

You just wanted Luke.

“Hey, hey, you’re alright.” Luke murmured softly, his own eyes tearing up as he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffed as you wiped at your eyes, “I’m sorry, I’m just so tired, Luke. I just want to come home, I miss everyone so much, I miss you. I’m gonna call Emily and see if she can arrange for me to come back because I can’t do another six months away.”

“Well then I’m glad I called,” Luke smiled and your eyebrows knitted together as you looked at him but before you could say anything Luke spoke, “we’ve got a situation down here and we need you back.”

You let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob causing Luke to grin at you through the phone and you grinned back even as more tears slid down your cheeks.

“Thank you.” You managed to choke out and Luke’s smile widened even more.

Luke had briefed you on what they had so far which, admittedly, wasn’t much. He gave you the rundown and had one of the new tech analysts send you over whatever else they had so once you boarded the plane you filled the five hour flight with getting up to speed with the case.

By the time you landed it was already midday so you got an uber to your apartment, took a quick shower and only spared half of a longing glance towards your bed before changing into some work clothes and heading over to join everyone else.

You felt a wave of relief hit you once you were in the elevator and nearly cried with happiness as the door opened and you could see your desk. You walked in and saw through the window that everyone had gathered in the round table room so made your way up the stairs and stood in the doorway.

It only took a moment for Emily to glance over at you before her face lit up and she made her way over to you, her arms already open and you easily went into them wrapping your arms around her and forcing yourself not to cry.

“Oh it is so good to see you.” She said and you could only nod into her shoulder and grip her a little bit tighter. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you back sooner.”

You nodded again into her shoulder and pulled away from her, giving her a shaky smile. You opened your mouth to tell her it was ok but you were stopped when you saw movement behind her, glancing over her shoulder to see Luke standing up and staring at you with wide, also watery, eyes.

“Y/N.” Luke said softly, so softly you almost didn’t hear him, especially over the sound of your heart pounding in your chest.

Emily looked between the two of you as she stepped aside but you hardly noticed her any more as you took two steps forward, Luke moved forward to and pulled you into his arms, you practically melted into them, unable to stop the tears as you buried your head in Luke’s chest and he gripped the back of your jacket tightly in his fists.

“I missed you so much.” He whispered into your hair and you nodded against him, letting out a shaky breath before you were able to speak.

“I missed you too, every day, every single day.” You told him, the words muffled against his shirt but he heard them clearly and you squeezed your eyes shut tightly when you felt him press a gentle, lingering kiss to the top of your head.

The two of you didn’t move, content to stay in each other’s arms after going so long without seeing each other, needing to feel the other against you, hear them breathing and feel them in your arms to reassure yourself that they were here. You probably would have stayed like that all day if you were interrupted.

“Alright, alright we get it, you two missed each other.” Rossi said, causing you to jump slightly and feel more than hear Luke’s chuckle. “But other people missed you too, kid.”

You grinned into Luke’s chest even as your cheeks were stained with tears before pulling away, looking up at him and feeling your cheeks heat up to see him smiling so softly at you. You finally glanced away and looked over to Rossi who winked at you causing you to laugh softly before you let him pull you into a tight hug.

“I missed you too, Rossi.” You murmured, brushing one hand up and down his back as you lowered your voice slightly, knowing that everyone else in the room could still hear but it didn’t matter. “And I’m really sorry I couldn’t be here for you-”

“Hey now, none of that.” Rossi interrupted and pulled you away from him before placing his hands on your cheeks and gently brushing the tears away causing you to smile sadly at him. “I’m okay and you’re back now, nothing else matters.”

Your heart ached as you looked at Rossi, losing Krystall had taken its toll on him but he was right you were back and he was ok, things would be ok. Rossi patted your cheeks gently before he pulled you close and placed a kiss on your forehead causing your smile to brighten.

“It’s really good to have you back, kid.”

And you were back, immediately thrown into work with no more catching up with anyone. It was impossible to crack anything without Penelope and your heart ached something fierce when Luke offered to go and try to get her back. You’d forgotten how much this bit hurt, for three years you hadn’t had time to dwell on it, too wrapped up in your undercover work to even think about your actual life but now it was like you never left.

You shook your head and focused back on the case at hand, working away until Luke walked back into the room and handed a hot mug which you took gratefully.

“How’d it go with Penelope?” You asked and watched as he shook his head with a frown.

“I get it, you know?” He said and your eyebrows knitted together as you waited for him to carry on. “This job takes its toll on all of us but her, it took everything she had and she never complained. I hate that we’re trying to drag her back into this.”

“If there was another option you’d take it, even if it took longer to crack the case, you’d take it to protect Penelope. This isn’t on you, Luke, whatever happens in this case, if Penelope comes back and it’s too much, that’s not on you.” You assumed they were together, they had to be, it had been years since their first date and there was no denying their chemistry, so you’d sit back like you always had and not get it in the way of that, no matter how much you selfishly wanted to after being away for so long.

“God, I’ve missed having you around.” Luke breathed out and you smiled over at him. “When this case is over I’m taking you out for dinner, it’s my turn to buy.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” You laughed and shifted closer to him, close enough that your arms brushed against each other and you hesitated for a moment before letting yourself have one selfish moment, Luke wouldn’t think too much of it, you’d been gone for so long it made sense you’d be a bit more clingy.

You let your head rest against his shoulder and felt Luke relax into the touch as he gently rested his head on top of yours, tilting slightly so he could press a kiss into your hair as he did. Neither of you spoke, both of you were content where you were.

That brief moment of peace was all you were able to steal before you were separated again, Luke working with JJ on finding a connection as you stayed with Penelope, who had thankfully come back because you seriously didn’t know how you were going to finish this case without her.

You desperately wanted to ask Penelope about her and Luke, wanted to know as badly as you didn’t want to know but you couldn’t ask her yet. Now wasn’t the time, right now you had to focus on the case.

“I’m telling you I hate this guy, hate him! I mean first he brings me back to this job and I love you people, Y/N, you know I love you with my whole heart but I was out! And then he refuses to work with me, like I’m the problem, me! And now, now Rossi and Emily are teaming up and making me work with him.” Penelope ranted as the two of you walked to the ballpen, a smile on your face as you listened to her.

God, you really had missed being back.

“Good luck.” You grinned as you made your way over to your desk, Luke already leaning against it, as Penelope turned to glare at you before disappearing into the room with Tyler Green.

“Think Rossi will be able to get anywhere with him?” You heard JJ ask as you joined them, leaning against the desk next to Luke who was looking towards the briefing room with a fond grin.

“I think the real question is, will he survive Garcia? It looks like Tyler Green is Garcia's Most Hated." Luke said, amusement clear in his tone and you smiled even as you felt a pang of hurt at the affection in his voice.

“Sounds like you miss it, buddy.” Tara said with a grin and Luke chuckled warmly as he turned back to you all.

“No. He can have that title.” Luke said, the fondness in his expression staying even as you got to work on the case, pointedly ignoring every time you and Luke brushed against each other.

The case seemed to lead to more dead ends than anything else, victims and witnesses refusing to help and share their story, share who their attacker was, it was driving you crazy.

“Here,” Luke said, handing you a warm to go cup and a sandwich from the coffee shop down the road. “You look like you can use a break.”

“God you’re the best, Luke Alvez.” You grinned as you took the items from him and both sat at your desk. “I feel like I can’t complain though, I mean this case is rough but I’ve missed being here.”

“We never did get a chance to talk about your undercover ops.” Luke prompted after swallowing a bite of his own sandwich. “I know you can’t say much but are you ok? I mean from what little you told me and what I was able to piece together from Emily, it seems like it was just back to back assignments with no chance to breathe.”

“I don’t know, I mean, it’s the unit I worked with before the BAU so I already knew how hard it was but…I don’t know, Luke. I mean I’m tired, I’m exhausted but I also haven’t had a moment to think about adjusting back from that to this. It’ll hit me at some point, it always does, but I guess we’ve been so busy here it just hasn’t yet.” You told him, wishing you could go into detail but even if you were allowed to you wouldn’t share it with anyone, especially Luke, he didn’t need to know the horrors you’d seen out there.

Luke reached over and cupped his hand on your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it rest there as he spoke.

“You call me, the second it hits you, you call me and I’ll be there.” Luke promised and gave you a stern look that caused you to smile before you nodded.

“I promise.” You swore and Luke nodded once seriously before a smile broke out on his face and he switched the conversation to a lighter topic and if your gaze stayed locked on his smile for longer than necessary, well you were allowed to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

“Give me a minute,” you interrupted Luke as you watched Penelope leave the briefing room looking shaken. Luke turned to follow your gaze and frowned in concern but watched the two of you leave together and he knew Penelope was in good hands.

“Hey, what happened?” You asked softly as the two of you entered Penelope’s office.

“I don’t want to talk about it but that guy, Tyler Green, is a jerk and he infuriates me.” Penelope fumed and you nodded at her, knowing her well enough to see she’d shut down even more if you carried on questioning her.

“Alright, so we won’t talk about it.” You agreed easily and she turned to face you with a grateful look. “We’re still waiting for leads to be verified so I’m free until they call me away.”

“How are you?” Penelope suddenly asked and you frowned at her, did you really look so bad that both Luke and Penelope were concerned? “Sorry, I just meant, this whole Sicarius thing has been constant since we both came back, I missed you like crazy and we’re together again and haven’t spoken about anything but this stupid case.”

“I’m okay,” you told her, unsure why you were lying so easily to her but hadn’t been able to tell Luke the same thing. “Once this case is over we’ll have a girls night but for now, I really just want to focus on this case.”

“You’ll tell me if you need anything, won’t you? Even just a hug.” Penelope asked and you couldn’t help but chuckle warmly at her as you nodded, a surge of love filling you as you looked at your best friend.

This is why you stayed silent all those years, why you let yourself fall in love with Luke Alvez without a word. It was because you loved Penelope Garcia, she was your best friend and if Luke made her happy then you would never get between that.

“What’s going on?” You asked Luke as you slipped back into the bullpen a while later and Luke shifted closer to you as he filled you in on the new lead, telling you that there was something connected to Sicarius in Georgia.

“JJ, Luke, I want the two of you in Georgia by nightfall.” Emily commanded and you couldn’t help but frown slightly, watching as Luke’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he glanced between you and Emily, even JJ looked slightly surprised you and Luke weren’t being paired together.

“Um, yeah sure, on it.” JJ murmured as she tapped Luke’s arm and gestured for him to follow her.

“Be safe.” You told him softly and he took your hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze before nodding and turning to follow JJ and you could only watch him leave before turning to Emily who spoke before you could.

“I need you in with Tyler Green, Garcia refuses to work with him, see if he knows anything about Benjamin Reeves and get him and Garcia on the case together.” She said, passing a file to you before turning on her heel and walking away.

You sighed before heading into the briefing room and placing the file down.

“You’re new.” Tyler said as he lifted his gaze to you and you nodded at him.

“Agent Y/L/N.” You told him before jumping right into why you were here. “Benjamin Reeves, does that name ring a bell to you?”

“Well hello to you too,” he muttered but you just sat down next to him and pulled the tablet close to you. “Reeves, no, never heard of him. Should I have?”

“Maybe, he’s a possible Sicarius connection we’re looking into, could be nothing, could be something.” You explained, turning to face Tyler. “ Reeves had a thing for biting people, a wannabe cannibal.”

“Now that rings a bell.” Tyler told you and you raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue. “Look up the term ‘overbite’, you should get something.”

It took you a few minutes to pull the servers up, you weren’t bad with technology but you were no Penelope Garcia and all of this looked like a different language to you. Eventually you had overbite searched up and results appeared. You and Tyler went through the chats together, him explaining the private chats to you as you searched for something.

“I don’t get it.” You murmured to yourself causing Tyler to raise an eyebrow at you.

“Get what?” He asked when you didn’t say anything else and just continued to stare at the screen.

“A rich kid like him, he has everything, there’s no way Sicarius found a way to convince Reeves to kill himself when things got bad. This Sicarius, much as I hate the bastard, is smart, he’s planned for every version of events, every contingency, so why bring Reeves in?” You questioned, not so much directing them to Tyler but needing to work through it aloud.

“Think about it,” Tyler said and you turned to look at him expectantly. “Sicarius has this whole operation, something like this costs money. Your Reeves guy, he’s the funding, I’d bet Reeves knows all about Sicarius’ operation and he has special privileges.”

“But soon enough Reeves’ will just be a loose end.” You realised, standing up to go and tell Emily they needed to find Benjamin Reeves.

You didn’t have a good feeling about this.

Before you left the room you turned to Tyler, you needed Penelope on this case and Tyler seemed to be proving useful.

“Listen, we need to know everything Reeves and Sicarius are talking about. We need to find out what their plans are. This could be our shot at Sicarius. Now I can’t do it, you don’t know where this private forum is but…” You said watching the man sigh before he interrupted you to finish your sentence.

“Penelope can. Fine, bring her back in.” He told you and you laughed at him before shaking your head.

“I have a serial killer to help catch, you’re gonna have to grovel and get her back yourself.” You grinned at him and watched him put his head in his hands. “Talk to Rossi, he’s good at messing up with women and winning them back.”

“Emily!” You called as you watched her enter the room, jogging down to meet her half way. “Tell me you still have Reeves’ here.”

“No, he was let go.” She told you and you cursed softly causing her to frown. “What is it?”

“We need to get to him. Now.” You told her and you were already moving past her, nearly knocking into the Deputy Director.

Both of them followed you out and into one of the SUV’s as you filled Emily in on your theory that Reeves’ was a lot closer to Sicarius than any of you had originally thought, that Reeves could be the one to lead you to the head of the network.

“Fuck!” You cursed as you all entered the house and saw the Senator dead on the floor, bite marks clear on her face and body and you turned away from her, not able to feel anything but anger at the thought of your best lead slipping away.

The ride back to the office was quiet and you prayed Penelope had managed to find something, no doubt that Tyler would have listened to you and convinced her back to the case. You checked your phone before getting out of the car and forced yourself to breathe when you saw Luke hadn’t texted you back.

As you and Emily walked in Tara was already making her way over to you with a tablet in hand.

“Benjamin Reeves' jet just touched down at the Municipal Airport in Whitfield County, Georgia." She told you both urgently.

“What?” You said, frowning as you snatched the tablet of her and read over it.

“That's where he said the ‘buried treasure’ was.” Emily murmured as she looked over your shoulder and down at the tablet.

“Something's not right.” You said as you pushed the tablet into Emily’s hands and pulled your phone out, already pulling up Luke’s contact.

“What...he should be flying to Brazil. Why would he lead us to more evidence?” Emily asked in confusion as she thought back to their conversation.

“You think it's a trap?” Tara asked her but Emily shook her head.

“No. I think Benjamin Reeves is a patsy and he's too dumb to know it.” She said.

“I’m calling Luke, I’ll let him know him and JJ have company.” You said, phone already against your ear as you spoke.

“Hey Y/N/N, we’ve just got here, how’s everything back there?” He asked and you felt a shiver of fear run through you, something really wasn’t right with this case and it had you on edge. Every part of you wanted to tell Luke to fall back, that it was a dead end and to come home, part of you wanted to scream at Emily for not letting you go with Luke.

“Reeves is coming to you.” You said instead and pushed everything down into the same space you kept your feelings for Luke. “His jet just landed there, be careful Luke.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine.” Luke assured but something in you wasn’t letting you relax.

“Luke,” you breathed into the phone and you heard him tell JJ to wait a second, there was some rustling and you assumed he was taking the phone off speaker and moving a few steps away from JJ.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, seeing Tara and Emily looking over at you and you followed Luke’s lead as you moved into the hallway.

“I don’t know, ok? I just-Luke, I have a really bad feeling about this one.” You told him, not wanting to worry him but you always trusted your instincts, you’d rather Luke be overly aware of his surroundings and nothing happening than have him let his guard down and Reeves get the upper hand.

“Alright, okay, I trust you, Y/N. We take this one seriously, careful every step of the way. I’ve got JJ watching my back.” Luke assured and you took a shaky breath that he picked up on. “Hey, I promise you I am going to be back with you soon.”

“God, I hate Emily for not letting me go with you.” You mumbled into the phone and let Luke’s laugh wash over you.

“Yeah, right now I’m pretty glad she kept you there if you think something bad is going down out here.” He told you and you couldn’t help the fond eye roll that escaped you. “Rather have you worrying back there than risk anything happening to you out here.”

“Just be careful, ok?” You asked softly and you heard his voice soften too when he spoke.

“I promise.” He told you seriously, causing you to nod even though he couldn’t see you. “We’re gonna head out now, satellite found a hidden door, our body cams and radios are gonna be on the whole time, alright?”

“Alright. Just…I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“Yeah Y/N/N, I’ll be home soon.” He said and the two of you let the silence wash over you before you finally pulled the phone away and hung up, heading to the briefing room where everyone else was already set up.

“We’re live.” Penelope said as the screen showed both body cameras and she pointed out which was which.

You moved over to stand at the table, the radio in front of you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe, hardly let yourself blink as you scanned the screens in search for anything.

You really didn’t like this.

The team around you spoke but you paid them no mind, only listening when Luke’s voice came through the radio.

“We’re going in.” He announced as you watched him pull the bunker door open and you stood straighter at his words, dread filling you as they entered.

Luke walked in first and JJ followed after him, giving you perfect sight of both Luke and the bunker. At first it just looked like the other shipping containers that had been found but then you saw something, something the others hadn’t clocked yet.

“Oh my god.” You whispered and startled when a cell phone rang in the container.

“What the hell is that?” You heard JJ ask but your hand pressed the button on the radio before anyone could register what was happening.

“Luke, get the hell out, it’s a bomb!” You yelled into the radio and watched as Luke shouted at JJ to get out.

Then the cameras went out and you could only stare at them in horror.

“Luke, Luke, come in.” You said into the radio but there was no answer. “Luke, please.”

The team around you spoke but you couldn’t hear them, you continued to plead into the radio, begging for Luke to answer you until you were pulled away and only then did you snap back to reality to see Rossi looking at you in concern but before he could say anything Penelope called your attention to the screen.

“Oh! Oh! One of the camera’s is back online.” Your head shot around, tears falling harder down your cheeks when you realised it was JJ…Luke’s was still out. “Where’s Luke? I take back every mean thing I ever said about him. Please let him be ok.” Penelope said before excusing herself to see if she could get communications working from her office.

You didn’t have it in you to be hurt by the blatant reminder that him and Penelope were a thing, you didn’t care, you just needed him to be ok.

You turned to leave the room but Rossi caught you by the arm and gently spun you around to face them, Emily raised an eyebrow at you as Rossi spoke.

“Where are you going?” He asked and you shook your head as you tugged your arm free from his light grip.

“Georgia.” Was all you said before turning to leave again but Emily stopped you this time.

“Y/N, wait-”

“I’m going, Emily!” You snapped as the tears fell harder down your face. “You already stopped me going once, you’re not stopping me again.”

“Douglas,” she said after giving you a hard look, “it’s time.”

The Deputy Director didn’t say anything, just looked from Emily to you before nodding and gesturing for her to go. You didn’t know what they were talking about and honestly you didn’t care, you were going to Georgia.

You pressed the button for the elevator and shot Emily, Tara and Rossi a confused look as they stood with you but before you could ask what they were doing Garcia came up to them just as they stepped into the elevator.

“Where are you- you’re going to Georgia. Driving or…oh,” Penelope managed a smile as she nodded at you all, piecing together something you hadn’t. “Return it filled up and not just with fuel. Bring them home.”

“We will,” Emily said confidently enough that you believed her and you just hoped she was right. “Wheels up.”

Your eyes widened as you turned to look at her, you hadn’t asked but with all the politics and budget cuts it made sense why the jet hadn’t been mentioned. You didn’t think too much about it though, just thankful you had a quicker way of getting to Luke.

The hour-long flight felt like forever. Rossi sat next to you on the plane but other than holding your hand and letting you squeeze it tightly in yours he didn’t try and comfort you. You hadn’t stopped crying, you needed to see Luke with your own eyes, praying to God he was alright.

“Oh, thank God.” Emily said as you arrived on the scene and JJ and Luke made their way over to you.

You had frozen a few steps behind Emily, Tara and Rossi when you saw Luke. He looked fine, a bit beat up but considering what had just happened he looked fine. Your eyes filled with tears again and Luke’s gaze immediately drifted past the other three to land on you, making his way over to you just in time to catch you in his arms as you wrapped him in a tight hug.

Luke hugged you back just as tightly, burying his face in your hair and struggling to hold back his own set of tears as he heard you sob into his chest as your fingers dug into his back with how tightly you held him.

The others watched on as they spoke quietly among themselves about what had happened but Luke shut them out and focused solely on you. He knew he loved you, hell he’d known that for years now, but he never realised just how much until he’d nearly been taken away from you. Before he passed out, not even registering if he was ok or not, his thoughts had been consumed with you, regret from not telling you how he felt, guilt that you were watching him die through the body cam, sadness that he’d never felt your lips against his.

He swore to himself he was going to tell you.

“I’m alright, cariño, I’m alright.” He murmured into your hair and you shook your head, shifting into the hug like you could bury yourself further in his chest. “Yes baby, I’m ok, I promise.”

It took a few more minutes until you were able to pull away from each other and even then you didn’t go far, your hands coming up to cup Luke’s face, his hands covering yours as he ran his thumb across your knuckles.

“Next time I’m coming with you.” You told him shakily as tears continued to slide down your face and Luke chuckled as a tear slid down his cheek.

“Not a chance.” He answered and you just shook your head. “But the next time you have a bad feeling about something I’m listening.”

Luke leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, murmuring once more that he was fine, before he wiped at your tear stained cheeks.

To nobody’s surprise Reeves turned up dead and Sicarius was missing again. With all the evidence from the container turned to ashes there wasn’t much you could do but head back to Quantico.

You were exhausted by the time you got onto the jet and were asleep against Luke in seconds of being up in the air. Luke wasn’t complaining though, he just wrapped his arm around you and pulled you even closer.

“So does your brush with death mean you’re finally ready to tell her how you feel?” Rossi asked once he was sure the girls were distracted and you were asleep.

“You’ve been pushing this for years now, Rossi.” Luke sighed, looking down at you in his arms and thinking about how right it felt. “Every time I told you no, I couldn’t risk our friendship, couldn’t risk losing her.”

“And now what are you telling me?” Rossi asked with a smile, knowing full well what the answer was but wanting to hear the younger man say it.

“I’m telling you that I nearly died today.” Luke said steadily and paused for a moment, Rossi didn’t say anything, knowing he needed to sort through his thoughts. “I nearly died today and the last thing I thought was I really hated that Y/N was watching this. I didn’t want her to see that, Rossi.”

“I know you didn’t, kid.” Rossi told him, thinking back to your reaction back in the briefing room, watching you shut down, plead with a dead radio and snap at Emily.

“I’m telling you I love her.” Luke finally confessed out loud. “I love her and I have for longer than I know and I already lost so much time with her when she was sent back to the undercover unit and I nearly lost the rest of my life with her today. I can’t risk having another day where she doesn’t know, even if she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t care anymore, I need her to know how I feel.”

Rossi sat back in his seat with a smug look of satisfaction that had Luke rolling his eyes and suppressing a smile. For years now Rossi had been hounding him over when he was going to make his move, he knew if this worked out for the two of you he’d never heard the end of it from the man.

“Attaboy.” Was all Rossi murmured before the two of them settled into silence and Luke let himself savour the feeling of you in his arm.

By the time you were walking back in the building Tyler Green had been released without charges for his cooperation, another lead came up and Luke and Tara were being assigned to it and before you could say anything Penelope rushed over and took JJ and Luke into her arms.

As Luke, Emily and Tara worked on the death row inmate lead you and Rossi sat in the briefing room with Penelope in an attempt to pull up anything about what Sicarius’ next plan was. Like most of this case though it seemed impossible to find a solid lead even  after the hours you'd spent reading through the forums.

It was when you had moved to comparing the victims that Penelope’s phone rang and you glanced at her questioningly as she excused herself in a hurry, turning to look at Rossi who just shrugged and turned back to the boards in front of you.

“Here,” You said as you handed Luke a mug of coffee before pulling a chair up next to him at his desk, “you look like you need it.”

“Thanks.” Luke sighed tiredly as he brought the mug up to his lips, you were able to catch a soft smile before it was hidden by the mug. “This case is exhausting.”

“No luck with the death row inmate then?” You asked and he sighed again, a deep and tired one that you felt deeply, you were all running on even less sleep than usual as this case took up every moment of your time.

“We have a guy who’s prepared to die to keep the man he loves safe. The boyfriend just came in and gave us evidence that Herrera couldn’t have committed the murder because they were together. Now Tara and her girlfriend are fighting but at least we got the guy off death row.” Luke filled you in between sips of coffee and you watched him lean back in his chair and let his eyes fall closed.

“And I thought me and Rossi were having fun scrolling through post after post of wannabe serial killers.” You chuckled tiredly causing him to turn his head and smile softly over at you. “How are you holding up anyway? I feel like we’ve barely had a minute after coming back from Georgia.”

Luke let out a chuckle as he nodded, bringing his hand up to rub at his face before letting it fall, he seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching across and taking your hand in his, his thumb brushing across your knuckles as he locked eyes with you.

“Y/N, I heard that bomb go off and I didn’t know what was gonna happen.” Luke sighed and you squeezed his hand softly, trying to offer some comfort without interrupting him. “I figured I could have died, now I know Sicarius timed it perfectly and warned us but then, I didn’t know if I was gonna live or die and my only regret, the only thought in my head was-”

“Y/N, Luke!” Penelope exclaimed loudly, her heels clicking against the floor as she ran into the bullpen and just like that whatever peaceful, hopeful moment that had settled between you and Luke vanished as you jumped, his hand pulling away from yours as he turned to Penelope, your gaze staying on him a second longer before you turned and faced her too. “Meeting room, now!”

Luke turned to glance at you and you shrugged before following the other woman into the room where JJ, Emily and Rossi were already gathered. You took a seat next to Luke, desperately trying to ignore the way your knees brushed together and forced yourself to focus on Penelope informing everybody about her theory on how Sicarius hunted.

It felt like there had been a shift in the case with the new information and you wanted to be happy over it, hell you were happy, for the first time since you’d been called in it actually felt like you could catch the unsub. But then there was the Luke of it all. You had been so close, Luke’s hushed words felt like the confession you’d wanted for so long and you were so close.

“Y/N, I need to talk to you. Now.” Penelope said as when everyone but you and Luke left the room. You glanced at Luke who just shrugged at you before Penelope pushed him out of the room, Luke letting her with a laugh.

“Penelope, are you alright?” You asked as she paced in front of you, her hands fidgeting with each other before she stopped in her tracks to look at you.

“I kissed him.” Penelope rushed out and you stared at her in confusion as you waited for her to continue only for her to stay silent as she looked back at you with wide eyes.

“You kissed who?” You prompted, eyebrows frowning as you glanced out of the window, your gaze falling on Luke but not sure why Penelope would seem so flustered over kissing her partner.

“I kissed Tyler.” She clarified and your head shot around to face her as your eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed Tyler Green?” You exclaimed and she shushed you even as she nodded, confused as she watched your frown deepen. “What the hell, Penelope?”

“I know, I know I said I couldn’t stand him and that he was a jerk but you know…and he ended up not being so bad and I kissed him.” Penelope rambled but when she saw you shake your head she paused. “Are you ok?”

“What about Luke?” You finally asked, keeping your tone even despite being furious with her. For years you’d pined after Luke but kept it to yourself so she could be happy with him and now she was here, quite casually telling you she had kissed another guy whilst her boyfriend was sat in the next room.

“Luke? What does Luke have to do with this?” She asked, seeming genuinely confused causing your eyebrows to knit together. Neither of you said anything for a long moment before Penelope broke the silence. “Oh my god, you think me and Luke are dating.”

“You’re not?” You asked in confusion, head spinning at the new information.

“We went on one date three years ago.” She told you with a slightly panicked laugh and you could only stand there and stare at her wide eyed. When you continued to stay silent Penelope’s eyes widened and she stared at you in shock. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!”

“Penelope!” You hissed stepping closer to her and risking a glance out of the corner of your eye to see the team had turned to look up to the window at her raised voice.

“You like Luke!” She exclaimed and you could do nothing but collapse into one of the seats, unable to deny the statement but still reeling from learning that the one date you knew about was all that had happened between them. “Oh my gosh, you like Luke and you didn’t tell me! I mean I know he’s y’know,” she said and pulled a face, “Luke, but you two would seriously be so cute together!”

“Wait, you’re not mad at me?” You asked, feeling like you were drowning with how confused you were. “I thought you liked Luke. I thought you were together this whole time.”

“Y/N, me and Luke had one date, it didn’t go anywhere. Did I like him? Sure but I wasn’t heartbroken that we were better off not dating. Wait, is that why you never said how you felt about him? How long have you been keeping this a secret?” Penelope asked and she seemed genuinely upset for you.

You felt way too overwhelmed right now and leaned your elbows on the table, resting your head in your hands as you took a shaky breath before looking back at her to see her sit in the seat next to you.

“You always had this love-hate thing from the beginning,” You stared, knowing you wouldn’t be able to leave without answering her questions. “You didn’t need to be a profiler to see the chemistry between the two of you, everyone knew something would happen between you and him. So I kept my mouth shut.”

“Wait, you’ve liked him since he joined?” Penelope asked sadly and you just shrugged.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t say straight away. I mean we hung out together outside of work after he’d been here for a month or two, I spend as much time at his place as I do my own, you know? At some point I started, I don’t know, I wanted to be with him.” You told her, looking down at your hands as you messed with them to avoid her eyes. “But I, I saw the way you looked at him when he looked away, I saw the way he smiled at you when you called him names. I didn’t want to mess with anything between you two and then when I came back, I just assumed the two of you had finally gotten together.”

“There was never anything between us. I mean sure we flirted but it wasn’t serious. Maybe it could have been years ago but too much time passed and nothing happened.” Penelope sighed and you glanced up to see her frowning. “You should have told me.”

“Yeah, now I know that.” You murmured, your mind on all the time you could have potentially had with Luke. “You really don’t like him?”

“Y/N, if I wanted Luke Alvez I would have done something a long time ago to have him,” she told you, “plus I probably wouldn’t have kissed Tyler, who by the way is so hot.”

You let out a shaky laugh before nodding to yourself. Now things were looking up, the case seemed like it might actually be possible to solve and Luke words from before that you desperately wanted to believe were leading into a confession seemed like a more realistic outcome now.

“Sorry, I have to take this.” Penelope said apologetically but you just smiled at her as she answered it, standing up and gesturing for her to stay in the room as you left.

You kept your head down as you walked out of the room, thoughts racing a mile a minute as you made your way out of the bullpen area, missing movement from the corner of your eyes as Luke broke away from the rest of the group. You hadn’t realised he had followed you out until he jogged up beside you and caught your hand in his, stopping you in your tracks.

“Hey,” he said softly as he stood in front of you, his eyes filled with concern. “Is everything alright? Things looked pretty serious between you and Garcia.”

You hesitated a moment, it would be so easy to tell him now. There was nothing to stop you, no fear of losing two of your closest friendships lingering over you anymore.

“The thought in your head,” you said, causing him to frown slightly in confusion at the change in topic, “the thought in your head when the bomb went off, what was it?”

Luke’s face shifted to recognition as he looked back at you after glancing around at the people walking through the hallway. He shook his head before he gestured for you to follow him, not that he needed to as he kept his hand in yours as he pulled you into one of the empty meeting rooms.

“How much I regretted not telling you how I feel about you.” Luke said once the door was closed and he turned back to you. “How I’ve been in love with my best friend for years but I wasn’t brave enough to ever tell you.”

As he spoke he got closer to you, raising his hand to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone and you felt frozen to the spot, scared to breathe in case you shattered the moment and he pulled away.

But Luke wasn’t going anywhere, not now that he had finally managed to force the words past his lips. He leaned down and rested his forehead gently against yours as he waited for you to say something.

“I thought you died,” you finally choked out, watching as his face softened and his other hand came to rest on your waist. “I thought you died and I hated myself for not telling you that I’ve been in love with you for as long back as I can remember.”

Your words were quiet, barely more than a whisper but with how close you were pressed against each other Luke heard them clearly. A grin broke out on his face, he tried to reign it in but it was impossible when the person he’d fallen so hard for was telling him his feelings were returned.

His eyes glanced down from your eyes to your lips and he watched as you smiled back at him. It was all the permission he needed to lean down and press his lips to yours. The kiss was nothing more than a brushing of lips first before it turned into something more. Luke’s hand on your cheek made its way up to your hair, fingers tangling in the strands, as he pulled you impossibly closer with the hand around your waist before pressing you against the wall. Your hands found themselves pressed against his chest as you let yourself explore it and the kiss…

The kiss was filled with a mix of emotions, so much passion, so much longing, so much desperation. This was a kiss that was years in the making, a kiss both of you had only let yourselves dream about, neither of you thinking it would ever become a reality.

You were forced apart when both of your phones chimed at the same time, Luke pulling away first and the pair of you breathing heavily as you caught your breath, Luke’s forehead coming back down to rest against yours as he grinned at you and you mirrored the expression back.

“I promise you, cariño, the second this case is done I am taking you out.” Luke promised and you couldn’t stop the breathless laugh that escaped you as you nodded and put his shirt back into place.

“I’ll hold you to that, Alvez.” His smile seemed to get even wider as he ran his hands through your hair, smoothing the strands he had held.

Your phone’s pinged again and Luke sighed before dipping his head down one more to press a rushed kiss against your lips. When he pulled away for a second time he pulled his phone out and showed you that you were both needed back in the briefing room.

As the two of you entered Luke held your chair out for you and you felt your cheeks heat up as you smiled at him before sitting down, glancing over at Luke as he rested his hand on your knee but he focused his attention on Emily though you could see the smile pulling at his lips.

When you finally looked away from him you caught Rossi and Penelope’s gaze. Rossi looked at you with a proud smile on his face, even if it was slightly smug and you couldn’t help but smile back at him as he winked at you. Penelope’s face had broken out into a full on grin that wasn’t entirely appropriate considering what Emily was saying but you let your smile widen as you looked at her, glad things had worked out and she wasn’t mad at you.

As Emily spoke you sat back in your seat. Luke liked you back, something you never thought would happen and wished like hell you had just spoken to Penelope about this years ago but it didn’t matter now. Now all you needed to do was solve the case, something that seemed possible now, especially with the motivation of a date with Luke at the end of it.

__________

Luke Alvez Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -

@averyhotchner​, @sia2raw​, @silverose365​,  @alexxavicry​,  @randomwriter1021​, @catlynhoss05​,  @mrslizzyolsen​,  @xxchaotic​, @dumb-fawkin-bitch​, @pedritoswife​, @navs-bhat​, @jessicalee97​, @darling-seraphina​  

[unholydeukae]

Just imagine being between Handong's legs as she looks down at you all mean and her pants straining a lot on the front.

Maybe Gahyeon has been a little brat, so now she's naked with a collar around her throat and the leash in Handong's hand. She expects to be fucked hard, but Dongie will just make her suck her off and no matter how much she whines and grinds against her shoe, she will threaten her with putting her in a chastity belt...

=)

Hello hello :) I assume you're referring to this picture? (Even if not, it definitely fits your idea)

Not gonna lie, Gahyun naked and only in a collar... Holy shit. Do you know these heart-chain-collars? She'd look all pretty in that, looking expectantly up to Dongie, unaware that she's not the one who's gonna get it tonight. I think Dongie is really into being worshipped so I could see her command Gahyun to tell her what a perfect Mistress she is for her, how much she loves being her sub, how she would do anything for her. Probably also some physical worship, making her plant kisses and stuff up her legs and thighs (even over the pants) but not yet allowing her to touch her crotch.

I bet Gahyun is even pretty eager to please, at least in the beginning, because she hopes that if she's good, Dongie will fuck her extra nicely (jokes on her, she won't get fucked at all, but she doesn't know that yet). Dongie, obviously, experiences quite a rush from seeing Gahyun so obediently on her knees and doesn't tell her that all her efforts are pretty much useless.

Once she's satisfied with Gahyun's doings, she makes her pull off her pants (maybe she'd make her use her teeth, just for her personal entertainment) and repeat the whole "I worship your legs" process. At this point, Gahyun is probably already a bit annoyed that she has to be obedient for such a long time without getting any kind of stimulation herself but she's not yet far enough to actually complain. Dongie is obviously aware of that and pushes Gahyun further, allowing her to place kisses and little licks on her balls - she knows that sucking dick is maybe not the girl's favourite thing to do but she likes it nonetheless and especially when she thinks it's beneficial for her own pleasure. So of course, Gahyun is visibly bugged by not even being allowed to blow her. She might even complain but there's always the silent threat of a chastity belt, so she tries her best to stay silent.

Every time Gahyun (accidentally) licks Dongie's shaft instead of her balls, she receives a hard pull on the collar, making her choke and immediately remember her place. I feel like sometimes, Dongie enjoys demonstrating the superiority and power she has over Gahyun even more than actual stimulation. So it probably takes until her dick is leaking precum constantly and nearly touches her abs because it's so hard for her to finally let Gahyun touch it (or lick it. No hands allowed. Actually, maybe Gahyun's hands are tied behind her back 👀). Also, she definitely makes her lick off the precum from her stomach before she lets her take her dick in her mouth.

I bet Gahyun is so desperate at this point that she moans as soon as she takes Dongie in her mouth. Since she's pretty big, it's hard (read: technically impossible) for the younger girl to take her completely in her mouth, also because of the angle, but it's not like Dongie would care about that. More like the opposite, whenever Gahyun bobs her head down and doesn't go down as far as Dongie wants her to, she pulls the leash and even though tears spring to her eyes, the girl does her best to force more of the dick down her throat.

It only happens once or twice that Gahyun tries to let the cock completely out of her mouth to get a full breather but Dongie doesn't see that happening. As soon as the girl moves too far up, a heel digs into her back and forces her back down. Dongie likes passively edging herself by playing with her sub but at some point, even she is close. A bit before she's too close to hold back, she grabs Gahyun's hair with her gloved hand (the leash is in the other) and gives her one single command "breathe in" before she pushes her head as far down on her cock as possible without making the girl throw up. She clearly feels how she's deep inside her throat, how tight it is and when she pulls the leash (for testing purposes only, obviously) she can feel how it slightly presses against her through Gahyun's throat.

Of course, she only holds this for about ten seconds; she might be a strict and fierce Mistress, but she's not cruel. Still, Gahyun wheezes and coughs when she's let up to get air back into her lungs. Dongie enjoys seeing her in such a state, the puffy lips, tear stained eyes, make up smeared across her face - there's only one thing that would make her face even prettier. "Jerk me off." is the next command (she even opens the handcuffs for that) and Gahyun obeys, too shaken by what she went through just now and too hopeful that she'll still get fucked afterwards.

Dongie grips her hair again when Gahyun wraps her hand around her dick and makes sure that she can't move her head anymore. It doesn't take long for the mistress to cum and she purposely positioned Gahyun's head in a way that every drop of her semen lands on her pretty face. Satisfied, she pushes her head away from her to have a better look at the work of art she created.

Gahyun is a whimpering mess now, her wetness has probably spread to her inner thighs already and she wishes for nothing more than her mistress's dick deep inside her pussy. Since she's often more generous after she came, the girl decides to try it with some puppy-eyed begging, pleading to be fucked or at least gotten off in any other way. Dongie pretends to think about it, tilts her head and taps her chin before she says, "alright. You were obedient enough today, so I'll grant you one orgasm. I allow you to hump my shoe to get off. You have five minutes. Starting now."

I think we all hear the disappointed gasp that Gahyun lets out but she knows there's no other chance for her to get off - especially because Dongie tends to say "oh, you didn't want to use this opportunity? I guess you don't need orgasms that much at all then, I'll remember to not give you as many chances anymore then" and she definitely does not want to risk that :) and it's not the first time she has to make work with such a dishonourable way of getting off after all...

[soullessseraphim]

For those who asked :D

LORE DUMP ABOUT ARCANA OCS🎉

Liam (my mc)-°-o-°-o-°-o-°-o-°-o.

Liam is my mc, meaning he's Asra's apprentice, and so, a magician. While he's been following Asra's teachings faithfully, he's found a liking in forbidden practices, and therefore necromancy. The practice of necromancy is actually forbidden amongst magicians, mainly because it is a type of dark magic that feeds on the magician's life essence to be more effective (meaning it has been deemed highly dangerous), and so he has to practice in secret. Hence why his left arm is bandaged : due to his frequent practice, necrosis has started to spread onto him. However, it isn't organic necrosis, but magical necrosis, meaning it doesn't smell nearly as foul, doesn't deal as much damage as if it were organic, but also cannot be cured by amputation or by removing the source of the infection or the necrotic tissues. It also means that bugs and maggots are not something to worry about. However, Liam can manage to keep the progression of the necrosis relatively slow by regularly changing his bandages and dipping them in a potion ; in addition, he wraps talismans around his arm, to give himself more time. Because yes, if he continues practicing or lets the necrosis spread too much, he will be gone as fast as in five weeks (without the bandages or talismans).

But why does he practice then ? Well, Liam has not felt a call / wasn't drawn towards any other type of more conventional (and authorized) magic. While he isn't incompetent, he was lacking that intimate link necessary to specialize in certain fields of magic. However, with necromancy, he feels as if he has to furnish much less efforts ; everything just flows more naturally, and it just feels... right, somehow.

In the context of the game, during the various books, the love interest (Julian) once they learn about Liam's practices will try their best to persuade him to quit (to keep him from fucking dying, obviously), however the outcome of that persuasion will variate depending on the endings :

Upright ending : Liam will eventually give up necromancy, and actually find another field of magic he is drawn towards (that is actually not forbidden or dangerous) : Conjuring magic (I've played Skyrim, can you tell?), although he will as well dip into Voodoo practices (and other types of 'pagan' magic), though safely since he's going to be watched closely by the love interest and Asra (he's got friends on the other side now too- ok I promise I'll stop my references there) ; and so he lives happily ever after with the love interest.

Reversed ending : (now, I've not finished any route yet, and so I don't exactly know how accurate to lore this is, so it's very possible that all this might be... impossible. But I bend reality to my will and I do whatever the fuck I want, I'm an artist) Liam, devastated by having lost his love interest in some way, will fully give in to his forbidden practices, but to survive and save them, he will actually find a way to become the new patron arcana of Death (or at least a second one) and wage war on the Devil with his undead troupes, in order to free his beloved from their deal and set them free, and hopefully keep everyone out of danger in the process by making the Devil busy fighting skeletons. He will find a way to save (Julian) them.

Delicatessen-°-o-°-o-°-o-°-o-°-o.

Victim of the Red Plague, Delicatessen's original name is unknown. If he's being honest with himself, he's forgotten it. He was simply another patient with a number attached to him. Patient n°056. He was "lucky" being in the first few batch of the victims, because in his final moments, doctors still had the patience and strength to accompany him. However, he did not want this to be the end. He may not have a cure, but he had something much more unique and morally ambiguous means to survive : if he was dying, then he'd be reborn.

Long ago, his father had saved a noble's life. In return, he'd gotten this gift, and intricately carved golden needle, with a sort of tiny vial at the tip of it, which contained a crimson liquid similar to blood. It was quite obvious that once poked with the needle, the blood would be transferred to whatever was poked... There was a letter as well, with the needle, inside the neatly decorated wooden box :

"in your last hour, after the sun has set, stare at your reflection, for it is the last time you will see it ; let go of who you were, for you will wither away ; place the needle to your neck, and rejoice in the sacrifice, for you know it will allow you to be reborn"

He remembered his father telling him he refused to ever use the gift, for he thought it was more of a curse. Delicatessen doesn't want to live forever either. But he certainly doesn't want the Plague to be his end. And so, Delicatessen poked his neck with the needle, and opened his eyes again as the moon rose high into the sky. He then left the room he'd been left to die in, and went into the streets of Vesuvia, leaving behind him an impossible to solve mystery for the doctors : "the vanished corpse of patient n°056"

After the end of the Plague, a new, more discreet disease hit the darkest streets of Vesuvia : people who'd passed out drunk during the night would wake up with missing limbs, only to find them later all dried of their blood in the streets. Naturally, it frightened absolutely everybody. Taverns were forbidden to open at night and the civilians were highly encouraged to stay inside no matter what. It went on for months, and the culprit had been nicknamed Delicatessen, because of how it looked like they were considering people as meat markets. Patient n°056, now a vampire, actually stuck with the name, finding it quite funny and fitting.

But as violently as those horrendous amputation started, they stopped. Delicatessen had disappeared, remaining a mystery to Vesuvia. Deli (yes you can nickname him that) had actually entered a sort of slumber, hidden away, and he wakes up around the same time mc arrives to the Palace for the first time. But he didn't go back to his life of crime. oddly enough, he'd found a new passion (which he suspects he always had, but his transition to un-death and his time as a sick patient might have broken what was holding him back from actually doing it (moral compass)) : in his hideout, he experiments, stitching animal parts together to make chimeras. His first successful experiment is Eve, a cat to which he attached great bat wings. She's his most precious creation.

Baron Vultur-°-o-°-o-°-o-°-o-°-o.

Cursed to eat human flesh to survive, Baron Vultur is a relatively new face in Vesuvia. As a new courtier, he raises a few suspicions amongst the others : who the fuck is this guy and what the hell is he doing here? (he's just a lil guy) Hailing from abroad, Vultur had to flee his unfortunately crumbling kingdom, and so his previous Court. Nadia was kind enough to welcome him to the court, despite the initial disapproval of the other courtiers (how dare this guy bother our devilish schemes hrhrhrggrrhg) ; however, they quickly realized that Vultur might not be too much of a bothersome asset. As a demon himself, he actually has a few things in common with them. Like being kinda funky in the brain. Or having sharp teeth. But he's a lil fucked up, like all of 'em. Initially not very talkative and simply letting his new environment sink in, Baron Vultur eventually warms up to the other courtiers, having a few more affinities with Valdemar and Vulgora, with whom he hangs around more from then on.

As they grew more friendly, Vultur actually mentioned the lung surgery he went through, months back. His old kingdom now crumbled, it's only natural he has no doctor to have routine checkups with. And so he asked Valdemar who, to his surprise, accepted. However, the Quaestor did NOT expect Vultur's stitches to be so... uhm... it wasn't in a good state. They'd even commented "I don't know who was your doctor before, but this is butcher work", before proceeding to schedule an appointment with the Baron where they'd fixed the previous intervention's damage. And so, Vultur now has frequent checkups with them. It is also during one of those checkups that he was forced to explain his peculiar diet, since he'd gotten a rib stuck in his throat, and had asked Valdemar for help. He'd went outside that night, finding fresh corpses to scavenge on, and his demonic form for some reason had not thrown up the full skeleton. This is how it was brought to the Quaestor's attention that Vultur needs to consume human flesh to survive.

That does explain his carnivore like teeth. But what- who does he feed from? Baron Vulture actually attends weekly public executions, and once the crowd has cleared out, steals the criminal's body to feed off of it (whether it's during the daytime or the evening) ; sometimes he saves it for later, when he wants the meat cooked in a particular way, or just feels like eating a fancy dish. This is why servants have seen him in the kitchen a few times, making his own meals for dinners, instead of taking those already prepared. But he does like it raw at times ; Vulgora had surprised him devouring a piece of meat (which they didn't know was human, it was impossible to guess) ravenously, drenching his chin, neck and the collar of his clothes in blood once. That did stir unknown feelings in them.

But what about his demon form, then ? Baron Vultur actually turns into a sort of chimera : easily the most massive and imposing of the demon courtiers, he has a humanoid face, though he still has carnivore like teeth (just like in his humanoid form) ; he has panthera front paws ; vulture wings, hind legs, and tail, and a long feathery neck as well, like one of a vulture (because... because his name is Vultur haha get it ? Ok I shut up). He can actually fly, though due to his size, it would most likely get the attention of more than one fellow, so he doesn't do it often. (I actually plan on drawing it later jehehehejjehej)

___________________S_m_a_l_l___B_o_n_u_s___________________

Do they all know each other ?

Liam and Delicatessen actually came to know each other in one stupidly on time coincidence : they had both sneaked into Valdemar's dungeons. Liam needed a corpse for his necromancy practices, and Delicatessen needed blood to feed as well as surgical equipment. And Valdemar found the both of them. Stupidly on time coincidence I was saying. That means there are actually only two people that know of Delicatessen (and honestly maybe it's better like that). Baron Vultur does know of Liam, but isn't exactly invested in getting to know him too much, unless it's absolutely necessary.

Tag for those who asked🧡@lunumochi ; @mosssummoner Disclaimer ! : I haven't finished the first route yet, so if there are lore inaccurate infos, it's not on purpose and I apologize

[acepandemi]

In high school, I could've pretty much gotten away with murder. Not because I was a teacher's pet, there were a few teachers that liked me but most absolutely hated me, especially the math and art department. But because their own policies made it pretty much impossible to punish me.

They could kick me out of class all they wanted, but I'd just go to the library instead of the vice-principal's office like I was supposed to. They could give me detention but I would just... not go. Why would I? I didn't want to do detention, and usually didn't feel like I deserved it (more on that later), and what were they going to do? Make me? Hah!

You see, school policy meant that, for any kind of punishment beyond sending someone out of class or to detention (like suspension), they had to contact the parent(s)/guardian(s) of the delinquent in question.

And they tried that exactly once.

My dad has plenty of flaws, but when it came to school, teachers, and bullies, he always had my back. He was also a Stay-At-Home-Dad before that was a word, so he had all the time in the world to come to school and tell the Napoleontic powermongers that passed for teachers at my school exactly what he thought of them. And that was decidedly not anything good.

So, when my first-year math teacher dragged me into his office one day after catching me slapping one of my many bullies across the face (in self-defense after he had physically assaulted me), chewed me out for "hitting another student", nevermind what had happened before ("I don't care what he did, you do not hit people. And I didn't see that anyway, I only saw you hitting him!"), upon hearing my categorical refusal to apologise to the bully as the teacher demanded, threatened to call my father, my response amounted to: "Go ahead. Make my day."

The result of that phone call: I got ice cream after school for sticking up for myself, and Dad and the teacher arranged to have a "conversation".

The outcome of that conversation: I had to go to "Social Skills Training" (because obviously it was my fault I was being bullied), where I learned absolutely nothing useful and which made precisely zero difference in being bullied; Dad still gets an apoplexy when someone mentions that math teacher's name (as well as the vice-principal's); and nobody at that school ever contacted Dad again.

It didn't take me long to realise this made me basically untouchable, and basically say "F*ck it, I'll just do what I want from now on!". I had lost all respect for most of my teachers, because:

A) I had asked them for help so many times and got nothing. (They would "talk" to the bullies, who basically said: "It was just as joke, we won't do it again!", after which I got told by the teacher to "not be so sensitive", and of course ambushed after school by whomever I had complained about and their cronies. Since this happened outside the school, there was "nothing the school could do about it".)

B) Quite a lot of them where either racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, all of the above, or predatory (everyone knew the Dutch teacher gave good grades to girls wearing low-cut tops, and that was the most "benign" one), and none of that flies with me.

C) About half of them barely knew what they were talking about on a good day (no idea how they managed to become teachers other than a chronic shortage of them). And screw that, I'm supposed to be learning stuff here, not pointing out daily "that's wrong", or "that has been debunked" (which did nothing for my popularity among students or staff, obviously).

...I want to add that I didn't abuse this intouchableness nearly as much as I could have. I might have been a sarcastic brat, but I wasn't actually that bad. I mostly got in trouble for "talking back" (pointing out various -isms or false information), "fighting" (defending myself from bullies), skipping school (fair, but I figured I'd learn much more in the public library or one of the local musea), "disruptive behaviour" (things that I now know were actually Autistic behaviour, like stimming or not looking at the board/the teacher while they were explaining something because that somehow made listening easier), or not doing my homework (I had no energy, even then, I'd come home from school, flop on my bed and not move untill Dad hollered upstairs that I had to go walk the dogs. I couldn't have done homework even if I wanted to [which I didn't], and my grades were fine so I didn't care.).

Yeah, I wasn't just an angsty teenager, I was a ball of rage, spite, sarcasm, frustration, undiagnosed Autism, unprocessed grief and trauma, and undiagnosed clinical depression to the point of suicidal thoughts, not to mention major trust issues. In hindsight, I needed therapy back then, but aforementioned trust issues meant I didn't talk about all this, with anyone.

I did get therapy eventually, when I hit rock bottom after my first year of university and living on my own. It took a long time to untangle all of that, but I'm doing just. So. Much. Better.

Looking back though... I sometimes think my teachers were lucky I wasn't even worse. And that I picked up the books on philosphy before the books on witchcraft.

(Kidding, the books on witchcraft taught me a lot about acceptation and respect of things that seem strange just because they're unfamiliar. One of the moments that were most influential to my way of thinking and worldview was reading the Wiccan Rede: "Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill: An it harm none, do what ye will." I still keep those words in mind, even if I'm not Wiccan. I think they're very good advice in general.)

[adamwatchesmovies]

It Follows (2014)

When you think horror movies, you obviously think Halloween, but you probably associate the genre with summertime too. It, Friday the 13th, Sleepaway Camp, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Burning, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and countless others take place during summer camps or warm summer months. It Follows captures the feeling of summer/end of school so well it’s destined to be a seasonal staple - and that’s even before we consider how well constructed or frightening it is.

After Jay (Maika Monroe) and Hugh (Jake Weary) have sex, he gives her a grave bit of news. She’s now the carrier of a curse. In the distance, invisible to everyone except those who've been infected, a creature is coming for her. It doesn’t move quickly, but it’s relentless. It won’t stop until it kills her. The only thing she can do is pass the curse to someone else before it's too late.

Writer/director David Robert Mitchell has taken an iconic horror idea and given it a fresh twist. When you hear Hugh explain to Jay about the entity and how she has to pass it on, you think of The Ring. It too has a supernatural creature coming after you - not right away, but eventually - that you have to pass to someone else if you want to live. The additional rule is that if the person you pass the curse to dies, you become the entity's target again. It’s not enough to trick some fool into taking the curse from you; you have to pass it to someone who will believe you when you tell them what happened and who can pass it on. You have to give it to someone you know, someone you trust… but how could you? The fact that you give the curse to someone by having intercourse with them - the most intimate kind of contact - creates this wonderfully twisted contrast. At one point, you can feel Jay’s desperation. She’s all alone and sees a boat in the water with three young men on it. What is she going to do? Will she approach them so she can have sex with one - or maybe all of them? - It’ll guarantee her safety, but only for a while, since convincing anyone of what’s happening is nearly impossible without proper buildup. And then what? Live with the shame of what she had to do to survive?

There’s more to be said about the shapes the monster takes - it can look like anyone - and the fact that the film doesn’t give you many answers about what the entity is, what it wants, or why. Even some details about the curse are hazy. We don’t have all day, so instead, let’s discuss how summer-y It Follows feels. While the biggest summer memories may be of hitchhiking, vacationing or camping, most of the year's warmer months are not spent on grandiose plans. You did a lot more floating in the pool, going to the movie theater, hanging out with your friends doing nothing and riding your bike. We see Jay and her friends Paul (Keir Gilchrist), Yara (Olivia Luccardi), Kelly (Lli Sepe) and Greg (Daniel Zovatto) do all those things. We see Jay go to class, but she already knows she’s graduating so going away for a few days on a whim doesn't raise any alarms. It’s not just the impromptu trips to the beach or aimless drives around town, however, it’s the movie's feel. The end of the school year/beginning of summer are milestones. Whether you're graduating or not, you realize you've gotten older. You're growing up and forced to think ahead, to the fact that you’re going to die - in this case, at the hands of some creature that no one can see coming but you. The entity in It Follows is not some boogeyman hiding in a closet, it’s something that’s coming for you all the time. There’s no banishing it by turning on the lights or hiding beneath the covers. Real life doesn’t work that way. Adults know that because to adults, summertime is not a break from everyday life, it's just a sign that the end is getting closer.

It Follows is a rewarding film to rewatch because there is so much that’s only hinted at (What really happened on that beach with Jay and those three guys?) and you’ll frequently look in the background in case you can spot the monster coming. The last shot, in particular, is one to sit and think about. Seeing it more than once allows you to further appreciate the story and the filmmaking - the different forms the entity takes, the incredible score by Disasterpiece, the themes, etc. It packs a lot but it's not overcomplicated. There’s a sequel coming and I’m anxious to see what it’ll be like. (June 20, 2024)

[shirohige-pirates]

Just Like Fire

CisFem Reader x Portgas D. Ace

CW: angst, language, erotic, violence, serial killer, stalking, poisoning, over-bearing controlling parents, attempted forced marriage, possible dub-con, Munchausen by proxy (aka Factitious Disorder), wildly cute and fluffy despite the warnings. 18+ only

Summary: You're Sabo's biological sister in this AU. After college you moved in with your dear brother and his two sworn brothers in order to avoid going back home. You and Sabo despise your family equally.

Chapter 5: Sick

Sabo pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath before letting it out slowly. You’d just got done telling him about how the date went, and the threat that was obviously in Inchiji’s words. You could tell he was trying not to lose his temper.

Ace was trying as well, and you were almost certain you could see flames flicker around him. You hadn’t asked how Ace or Luffy were cursed, such a question was often considered highly rude in the first place, but you figured the two would show you when they were comfortable enough with it.

“Are you alright, at least?” Sabo asks finally.

You nod. “He was polite otherwise.” You admit. “Honestly, if things had ended sooner, I almost think I would’ve voluntarily considered a second date.”

“You know how mother would’ve reacted.”

“Yeah, but the devil you know and all that.” You sigh. “I mean, he seemed almost reasonable. Reasonable in the sense that I could have possibly just been honest with him.”

You wave your hand as Sabo looks at you. “No, that option’s long gone.”

“Yes, well, we’ll just have to hope he doesn’t try to push for some sort of accelerated timetable.” Sabo grumbles.

“… What do you mean by that?” Ace asks, piping up for the first time since you and Sabo had started talking.

You hesitate to put it to words and Sabo picks it up for you. “Nobility and all, is nothing but traditions, right?” He starts to explain. The way he looks at Ace makes you think that your brother had been giving his brothers a primer on things prior to your moving in. “Courtship has its own traditions, and usually takes a couple years from first date to an engagement announcement. All the rules and bullshit must be done properly. But in some cases the time can be condensed.”

“Most notably,” you say in a very quiet voice. “When one person involved is chronically or terminally ill.”

Putting it to words almost makes you feel defeated. A heavy silence comes over the three of you and Sabo sits down across from you, his face twisted in frustration. Your condition wasn’t widely known – your parents mostly kept it under wraps as you grew up, but if it could be used to herd you into the result they desired, then you were certain it would come out.

“What if you weren’t sick anymore?” Luffy asks. Ace nearly leaps out of his skin hearing his younger brother directly behind him. You and Sabo look over at him.

“Holy hells, Luff! When did you get here?” Ace swears, hand on his heart for a second.

“Marco said you took off from the station in a hurry, and I saw Sabo’s car speed by afterward.” Luffy says plainly. “Usopp dropped me off. He an’ Zoro were worried I’d be distracted.”

“Do you mean some sort of deception?” You question.

“No, let’s get Chopper an’ Traffy to look at you.” Luffy asserts.

“But… it’s uncurable, that’s why I -.”

“Traffy’s cured the uncurable before!” Luffy interrupts, stepping past Ace. “He saved his hometown, and they told him it was impossible. Chopper’s amazing with medicines too, maybe he can improve your medication!”

“Luffy, I…” You aren’t sure what to say. He seems so sure and adamant, but you’re torn. If you hope now and nothing comes of it, it’ll be heavier to go forward later.

“We won’t force you,” Sabo says. “But it’s better than my idea.”

“Better’n mine too,” Ace admits quietly.

“I’m almost afraid to ask.” You glance between Sabo and Ace, putting your hands up before either could say anything. “No, I am afraid to ask, keep it to yourselves.” You say with a small laugh.

Sighing, you lean back into the recliner and consider things for a moment. “Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.” You mutter, before looking to Luffy. “I would be honored to be assisted by your friends, Luffy.”

“Yes!” Luffy jumps up in a cheer before turning to Sabo. “I need your help getting Traffy freed up.”

“Yes of course.” Sabo says, getting up and following Luffy as the two leave the house abruptly.

You look toward where they left and back to Ace in confusion. “Are they… going to kidnap him?”

Ace laughs. “Nah, he’s busy, they’re just going to help him free up some time so he can see you. Sabo’s good with the paperwork, so he went with Luffy to untangle the red tape.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Hungry?” Ace asks. “I know you said you didn’t eat much, and if your stomach’s settled, I can make you something.”

“Yeah, I could go for something. I can-.”

“Ah-ah-ah.” Ace puts a hand on your shoulder before you can get up and gently pushes you back into the recliner. “Just… relax for a bit. I promise I won’t make it spicy.”

“Very well.” You agree, letting yourself sink into the recliner a little.

Ace brings you something warm to eat on a tray, and a cup of tea to go with it. You were almost upset by the fact that he could make tea so perfectly. You’d spent ages perfecting your skills because you enjoyed it, but you had to admit that Ace did it better.

You eat a few bites, and you realize how hard everyone is working for your sake. You haven’t even been living with them for a full month, and you’d think Luffy had been your friend for years. It was almost more comfortable around Ace than it was with your own brother, not that there was any discomfort between you and Sabo.

It would be more comfortable if he wasn’t so good looking. No, it wasn’t that he was good-looking, he was, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that smile. The freckles. The way his hair shifted when he tilted his head to get your attention. That glint in his eyes when he challenged you to a drinking contest. The ease with which he braced you against that hose so you could destroy the books.

It was how comfortable it was to be alone with him like this.

How much you wanted to just -.

“Whatever’s on your mind is heavy enough I can feel the weight of it over here.” Ace says quietly his eyes on the TV. He glances over at you with an apologetic smile. “If you need more space, I can go to my room.”

“Sp-space? Why would I need more space?” You question, genuinely confused. If anything, you didn’t want to be left alone with your worries – Ace was a welcome distraction.

Ace’s face goes a little pink and he rubs the back of his head. “It sounds silly to say it out loud, but I mean, a guy you thought you could trust basically threatened you. I thought, without Sabo here, maybe I was making you uncomfortable? Since, uh, I mean, you don’t know me that well…”

You blink a few times, processing his reasoning. “Ah, oh – no, no – I mean… I mean, I k-know I can trust you, that’s – it’s not the same thing. We don’t know each other that well, but we know each other well enough – and I mean, I, that is…” You stop and put a hand over your face before collecting your thoughts.

“Thank you.” You say finally, moving your hand away and looking over at him. There’s a little confusion on his face, but that smile’s already forming. “I didn’t thank you for earlier, so thank you… And please, um… stay. I don’t-,” you look away, that smile’s already too much for your heart right now. “Want to be alone right now.”

Ace leans back into the couch, giving you that damnably good smile. “Sure.”

As you eat a little more, and begin to relax, you feel yourself starting to drift off. You say something to Ace, and he takes the tray away as you fall asleep. The day had been exhausting, even if the most stressful thing had been a conversation, somedays your body just couldn’t take it.

But it was a lot easier to relax and rest when you could trust the people around you. Back home, sleep never really felt much like rest.

When you come around you aren’t sure how much time has gone by, but Sabo and Luffy are back. The noise of them returning had woken you up a little bit, but it was Luffy’s excitement that pulled you completely out of your nap. Ace was glaring at the younger man from the couch, but his expression softened when he saw you smiling as you stretched in the recliner.

“Sorry, (Y/N).” Luffy offers up hastily as Ace yanks him onto the couch.

Sabo smiles down at you. “Sleep well?”

“I think so. How’d it go?” You ask, sitting up properly. Sabo’s smile nearly answers your question before his words do.

“Thanks to Luffy’s network, Law and Chopper will be able to see you on Tuesday. It’s a good two weeks sooner than I expected we’d be able to manage, considering how in-demand Law is.” Sabo explains. “But Luffy’s, er, mentor Shanks is a friend of two surgeons, and he asked Hongo and Crocus to cover Law’s scheduled surgeries. Chopper was much easier, Marco’s covering for him on Tuesday. Now the only question is – do you want me to sort out getting you out of work Tuesday? Or do you want to handle that yourself?”

“I… hm.” You think about it for a moment. “I would love your help, brother dear. I’m not really sure what I should or shouldn’t say in that situation.”

Sabo smiles. “It’s your first job, I’m happy to help.” He sits on a chair across from you. “I’ll record it for you, so you can learn from it if you want.”

You laugh a little and shake your head. “No, I’ve seen your theatrics at work, I can’t really do things that way.”

“If that’s all then I’mma go back to work!” Luffy says, jumping up from the couch.

“Oh, Luffy, wait a moment.” You call out as you scramble to get out of the recliner before he dashes completely out of the house.

He turns toward you as you open your arms for a hug. “Thank you.” Luffy’s face lights up as he comes over and gives you a hug. The air is pushed out of you as he lifts you up in the excitement of his actions, but he doesn’t hurt you.

“Luffy!” Ace and Sabo yell as he sets you back down.

“S’alright!” You gasp, coughing a little. “It’s alright.”

Luffy crouches down to look at you while you catch your breath, and when you straighten up, he very carefully gives you a gentle hug. You chuckle a little as you return it and the young man beams at you before he dashes out of the house with an energetic, “You’re welcome!”

“(Y/N)?” Sabo questions, coming over to you, a worried Ace not too far behind him.

“I’m okay, truly. He pushed the wind out of me, but that was it.” You admit. “I was caught off guard more than anything else.”

Your smile fades even as you keep your feet, and Sabo gives you a gentle hug. “Nervous, lil’ Spark?” He questions.

You nod. “Yeah.”

“Whatever the result, it’ll be okay.” Sabo says reassuringly.

“We’ll be here too,” Ace adds. “No matter what.”

“I just… I don’t know what to think.” You admit taking a step back and walking toward the kitchen. Ace and Sabo exchange glances and you give them a weak smile. “If… I mean, if they can cure me, then what… what were our parents doing all this time? If they can’t cure me then I suppose nothing changes, but… this sucks, Sabo.” You say the words and tears start to run down your face.

“I know… I know I’ve been doing my b-best, but it’s always there. It’s always a factor in every. Single. Damned. Decision.” You take a step back as you see Sabo step toward you and put a hand up as you start wiping your eyes. “Sorry, I… I’ll be f-fine, I just…” The words die on your lips, and you start crying again.

Frustration makes it harder to stop, and you’re embarrassed to be crying in front of people. You’re glad you kept yourself together while Luffy was here, you were already being a burden for two of them as it was, and the youngest had the softest heart. It takes you a couple of minutes to get yourself calmed down. Ace is already in the kitchen making some tea, and Sabo’s giving you the softest smile he can, holding a small box of tissues toward you.

“It’s okay.” He insists. “You don’t have to be okay in front of us.”

Your breath hitches in your chest and you nearly start to cry again. Sabo gives you a hug before you can get your face cleaned up, and you brace yourself against him until you can get the new round of emotions under control.

“That was dirty,” you pout quietly as he strokes your hair softly.

“Perhaps.” He admits. “Feel better?”

“Perhaps.” You answer and the two of you start to laugh. By the time you step back from him you’re almost fully laughing, as you wipe your face with another tissue.

Sabo motions to the breakfast bar as Ace pushes a cup of tea toward one of the seats for you.

“You boys are like to spoil me.” You say with a smile as you sit down and wrap your hands around the warm cup.

“It takes far more than a few hugs and a cup of tea to spoil someone.” Ace offers with a smile.

“It’s been a hug and two cups of tea between us.” You correct.

“Already hugged my sister, huh?” Sabo questions. “Luffy lasted longer.”

“I gave her a ride home on the bike!” Ace’s face starts to go red. “I didn’t hug the air out of her lungs like he did.”

“Ah, so you didn’t even hug her correctly. Made her do all the work.” Sabo teases, and you nearly sputter in your tea.

Ace motions as if he means to strangle Sabo, a tight, irritated, toothy grin on his face. “Look here you little shit-.”

“I’m taller, and older.” Sabo insists.

“You’re – By a TECHNICALITY!” Ace exasperates, turning away to make more tea for him and Sabo.

“Technicality?” You question quirking an eyebrow toward Sabo.

“According to the story,” Sabo begins.

“Garp wouldn’t lie.” Ace huffs.

Your brother grins at you. “According to Garp – ah, Luffy’s grandfather – Ace’s month was pregnant with him for twenty months.”

You almost choke on your tea, setting the cup down hastily.

“Why – how?!” You question.

Sabo and Ace exchange glances and Ace sighs. “My dad was wanted by the government.” Ace says. “Right or wrong, well, it was over twenty years ago, so I try not to think about it anymore, but Mom and Garp were both concerned about some stuff.”

You can’t bring yourself to ask with words, but Sabo sees your expression. “You know how the W.G. gets. The concern was, that they would try to abort his child.”

“Ah.” You say flatly, nodding a little.

“So anyway, old gramps said mom just… refused to have me.” Ace says, setting a cup of tea down for him and Sabo as he sits across from you at the breakfast bar. “An act of will, a side effect of some curse no one knew about, who knows.”

“But, back to the more light-hearted part of all this, Ace insists he’s older because he was conceived before I was.” Sabo says, giving you a devious grin.

“But your birthday is -.” You start to ask and Ace grumbles under his breath.

“January 1st,” Sabo answers on his behalf.

“Then you’re about 9 months… Oh. Oh I see where this is coming from.” You admit with a soft laugh. “If you had been born 9-10 months after conception your birthday would’ve been just before Sabo’s.”

“Exactly!” Ace says.

“But you weren’t.” You say, a neutral expression on your face.

Ace sighs and slumps against the counter. “Siblings.” He grumbles.

“You’re older than me, if it makes you feel better.” You say with a smile as he looks up at you from underneath a mess of hair. “I’m three years younger than Sabo.”

“… I’m trying to sort out the fact that you’re Luffy’s age, and there’s no way I would’ve guessed that.” Ace admits. “I knew you were Sabo’s younger sister, but I thought maybe by a year.”

“Years of growing up in a noble household change one’s disposition.” You shrug. “I envy Luffy’s capacity to still act so young.”

Ace starts to say something and then stops. “Wait, you graduated college at twenty-two!?”

“Twenty-one…” You offer hesitantly. “My birthday’s next month.”

Ace looks at you agog and then turns to Sabo. “You said she was kind, you didn’t say she was a genius!”

“I graduated from college early too!” Sabo snaps back, his ears red. “Don’t tell her I said she was kind!”

You look back and forth between the two of them, feeling like the cat that just caught the canary. You let them bicker for a little bit, and even agreed when Sabo insisted the only reason the two of you completed college so young was because you’d had all kinds of tutors and professors to help you. Both of you had completed your general education when you were sixteen and had enrolled in college when you were seventeen – the earliest you could be on your own legally.

“Still, it’s amazing to me.” Ace admits after the conversation calms down again. “Luff and I barely completed our general education.”

“You and Luffy had spent years in the jungle in his grandfather’s wild drive to have you both enlist.” Sabo says, obvious irritation on his face. “Plus, you both have respectable jobs, don’t let it bother you.”

“Envy works in all directions,” you say as you push your empty teacup toward Ace. “I would love to be able to do the job you do. Everyone at the station is so much livelier and more interesting than the people where I work. Ah – not that anyone’s mean or anything, there’s just a very different energy.”

“We’ll have to find time for you to visit again.” Ace offers with a smile. “Everyone’s been asking about you since the day we destroyed all those books.”

You feel your face heat up a little, but you smile from the warmer feeling in your chest. It was nice to be appreciated simply for being you, and not because you were nobility or any other such useless designation.

“Oh! We could celebrate your birthday there!” Ace offers with a wide smile, and you nod in response.

“That sounds delightful.” You agree.

“It’s decided then.” Sabo says. “May the city refrain from any and all shenanigans on July 15th.”

[peaceteaa11]

Kisses and Tattoos

Series: Kisses and Tattoos - Pt. 2

Pairing: Eddie Munson X Reader (Y/N)

Ratings: E for everything who loves Eddie Munson. angst, fluff, miscommunication.

Warnings: miscommunication, sadness because the reader and Eddie are totally in love but it seems a bit impossible. NOT PROOF READ!

Summary: You decide to go to another show to see Eddie again but once you do… you can’t help but notice a new tattoo.

A/N: y’all. I’m so sorry this took forever and that it’s not that good lol. I actually had to finish up another year of college, my partner and I broke up, and I’ve been having a rough time. But when all things seems hopeless… Eddie Munson is there to help us out. I hope y’all don’t hate my guts. Peace and Love, Babes.

Word Count: unknown atm

***Go check out my other Eddie fics! Eddie Munson Masterlist***

Proper communication is wayyyyy sexier than whatever this is about to be yall.

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

You felt your stomach drop as you walk into the venue. It has been about three months since you left Eddie standing on the steps of his tour bus. He never called you... honestly, you didn't know how to act now that your friends have dragged you to another show of his. It was strange that his band came back to your crappy town so quickly, your friends are convinced that it is because he is looking for you again but if that were true... why wouldn't he have just called.

About fifty minutes into the show, you and your friends in the middle of the pit as girls call out to Eddie, you watch as he rips his shirt off. You feel your chest tighten at the sight, he is beautiful. As girls scream, beg for his attention, your eyes fall onto a new tattoo on his shoulder.

You squint your eyes trying to focus when he suddenly bends down, all his hair pulled to the opposite side as he grabs a water from the stage floor. Oh good lord, it that... are those... your teeth marks.

You eyes nearly jump out of your skull as you stare at him while the show continues. Why on earth would he get that tattooed. Your mind starts to race at lightning speed, everything blurring around you. Is that... is it a trophy to him? Are all his tattoos trophies? Are you just another groupie, fooled by his charms?

Everything begins to hurt, your heart, your stomach, your head. You have to get out of here. You quickly tell your friends that its just too much and that you never should have come. You hear some of them call your name as your push through the crowd towards the exit.

You run the streets of downtown mindlessly, your feet taking you exactly where you wanted to be. Somewhere comfortable. Before you knew it you found yourself at your favorite shop. You burst through the door and the workers great you buy name as you rush towards the bathroom of the little twenty-four hour cafe. You stare at your reflection, tears stream down your face. How could you be so stupid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sit in your usual corner of the cafe, sipping on your usual drink, watching the clock tick by. Your friends should be getting out anytime now, you know you should walk back but you just can't find the will to get any closer to Eddie than you already are.

You stare down into your tea when the bell of the front door rings. "Hey. Saw you run this way." You look up to see your friend Liv smiling brightly. "I told everyone this is where you'd go... I'm a genius." She sits down across from you and frowns.

"Where are the others?" You frown back at her.

"They wanted to stay back and see if the band would do a little meet and greet since the venue is so small. Not all of us got the chance to smooch the lead singer." She laughs, obviously trying to break the tense but she frowns when you wince. "I'm sorry."

You shake your head and force a small laugh. "It's not your fault I was stupid enough to think that-"

"Don't do that to yourself. He's... he's stupid to have not called. Stupid." She says as you look up to meet her eyes. You give a sad smile and she sighs. "What made you... uh leave?"

You groan and shake your head. "I... god this is so embarrassing."

"Well, now you have to tell me." She laughs as you meet her gaze once more. A deep blush creeping onto your face.

"Ugh. I- well did you see the new tattoo on Eddie's shoulder?" You feel your insides turn in a mixture of embarrassment and saddness.

"Yea! The teeth marks those were so- holy fuck! No way! Tell me those aren't-"

"Keep your voice down!" You whisper, grabbing her hand as she starts to laugh.

"Oh my fucking god! I cannot believe that! Oh my-"

You smile as she continues to ramble on and on. You begin to feel a bit better about everything, you don't even hear the door bell ring out once again.

Eddie stares at you as he tries to catch his breath. Losing security and screaming fan girls was not easy and even when he did he didn't slow for a second. He ran all the way here only based off of some crappy directions your friends gave him, he's sure he took longer than necessary when he made a few wrong turns.

He can't help but smile as you laugh, tossing your head back, shaking your hair about as you chat with the friend the other mentioned, the one who went looking for you.

"Hi sir! Welcome in!" The voice makes him jump and suddenly your eyes are on him. His skin is set ablaze, god, even your stare was igniting his feelings for you.

Eddie watches as your friend turns around and smirks at him. She excuses herself from the table and goes to talk to the guys at the counter.

You watch as Eddie slowly walks to take Liv's place. He sits down across from you, leather jacket barely hanging on his shoulders, his chest completely exposed. Your skin feels so hot you think you might be burning alive. Why does his gaze have to be so intoxicating?

"Hi." He smiles softly as you begin to play with your rings.

"Hi." You whisper so softly Eddie strains to hear it. He missed your voice so much this whisper barely did anything for him, but he would settle on a whisper is that's all you wanted to give him.

"I... I tried to-"

"Why are you here Eddie?" You sigh as you try to keep yourself from crying, tears already surfacing in your eyes.

"I... I wanted to see you. I-" Eddie winces when you look away from him, your eyes scanning the cafe instead. "I tried to ca-"

"I really have nothing to say to you right now. I... I think you should go." You don't dare to look at Eddie in fear of bursting into tears.

"Is... is that what you want?" Eddie feels his heart pounding in his chest, aching inside. "I came all this wa-"

"Please, just leave me alone." You sigh, your voice cracking a bit as you do.

"I... okay. It was uh... it was good seeing your again, Y/n." Eddie quickly stands up from the table and heads towards the door, waving to your friend and before he could take another breath he was outside, tears beginning to form in his eyes. Of course you didn't want to see him. God this was so stupid. You hate him. Is all that is running through his head as he passes your other friends on the street as he heads back to the bus.

Your friends try to talk to him but it's as if he doesn't even see them. They quickly run to the cafe to find Liv consoling you as you cry into her arms.

"What happen?!" You friend Zane questions as they all join you and Liv. You couldn't bring yourself to stop crying.

Liv tries to explain everything you told her as soon as Eddie left. The phone number, the tattoo, the fears that rose in your chest, and the horrible fact that Eddie simply used you.

"What?! That's not it!" You look up to meet Zane's gaze with fury in your eyes.

"Don't-"

"Shut up!" Zane growls at you. "He said you gave him the wrong number."

You look at Zane with sad eyes and shake your head. "No I didn't." You scoff but then you quickly think about your hand writing and how everyone always tells you that your sevens look like ones.

"That's why he convinced his managers to bring the band back here. He wanted to find you. And as for the tattoo... i just think he's a metal rockstar in love. Sounds like something his type would do." He looks to the others and they all nod. "He came back trying to find you. Once we hunted him down he immediately wanted to see you, we sent him here. On our way back we were surprised to see him walking back." Zane speaks in such a rush it's almost hard for you to keep up.

"What... he came back for... for me?"

"Yes!" Zane sighs. "He looked so depressed when we passed him, he didn't even notice us."

"I'm pretty sure he was crying." Your other friend pipes up.

You feel your stomach drop. Why would Eddie come back for you unless he actually liked you. This all seemed so crazy. You guys met once and already he seemed to like you? It felt unreal. He was famous... why would he like you?

"I gotta go." You mumble as you wipe your nose, making it to your feet.

"What are you gonna do?" Liv whispers softly as you grab your jacket from the chair.

"Go find him. Or try to."

"You better hurry, his band is leaving tonight, they have a show in Indiana tomorrow." Zane frowns.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your feet ached as they pounded against the dark abyss of pavement. Your breath is ragged as you sprint back to the venue. Praying, begging, pleading that the bus will still be pulled around back. You could feel all of your senses going into overdrive as memories from your night with Eddie encourage you to keep going even though your shins felt as if they could snap in half. Just as you see the venue come into view you watch the bus begin to pull out of the back lot.

No.

You gather all your energy as you push the last bit but it's not enough. The bus turns towards your and starts driving closer and closer and before you can think of a way to stop it, it's driving past you.

No.

This isn't happening. You aren't missing him. You can't. You watch as the bus drives up to a stop light you just passed. The light red. You sigh, your lungs burn, and you question if you have the strength in you to run back.

Yes.

You sprint back to the light and basically throw yourself into the crosswalk before the bus just as they light turns green.

Eddie and the band jerk forward as they converse about what happened in the cafe. The band has been so hopeful for Eddie. They had never seen him so excited in his life, not even their first night on stage got him that rilled up. All he wanted to do was see you again.

"I'm sorry man... maybe it's-" Gareth doesn't even try to finish his sentence, he knew Eddie wouldn't find comfort in it. "I'm sorry."

Jeff is about to speak up with suddenly their driver is shouting, window rolled down as he does so. "Get out of the fucking road!"

Eddie stays slumped in his seat as the rest of the band looks towards the front of the bus. Eddie can't get your face out of his head. He knew you would be hurt that he couldn't call you but he tried, over and over and over again, and nothing. Always some pizza place. His heart begins to ache again until he hears a female voice arguing with their driver.

"I have to see him!"

"Get out of the street you crazy bitch!"

"I have to see him! He needs to know!" You stare down the bus driver, glaring as you stand your ground in the middle of the street. "Just let Eddie know! Please!"

"Move your ass!" The bus driver shouts before you watch him duck his head back into the bus instead of out his window.

You jump slightly when you see the bus door open. You feel your stomach erupt into butterflies, nervous or excited your couldn't tell.

Eddie steps out on the street shutting the bus door as the band all stare out the front window with the driver. He stares at you as you stand in the middle of the street gasping for air. He steps towards you but hesitates, why were you here? Why?

You don't falter for a moment longer. Tears stream down your face as you launch yourself towards Eddie. He watches as you fling yourself into his arms and he can't help but wrap them around you.

You squeeze him tightly before pulling back only enough to connect your lips with his. He winces as he melts into you. God, he hoped this would never end. You push your tongue into his mouth and he whimpers, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist as your hands find his hair. Memories of your last time together surface in both of you. Eddie groans as you tug at his hair until suddenly you pull back. Eddie chases your lips and your giggle softly.

You press your forehead to his and smile softly as your eyes stay glued to his. "My sevens look like ones." You huff needing to catch your breath even more now.

Eddie squints a little confused until it seems to suddenly click. He sighs. "I'm so sorry. I tried to-"

"It's okay. I'm sorry I freaked out on you back there I just thought... I thought you used me. I-"

"I would never do that." Eddie's fingers dig into your hips, nervous that you'll pull away but all you do is nod.

"I know. I'm sorry. I saw the tattoo and I just thought that... I thought it was some sort of trophy or... something" You sigh, almost ashamed that you would think that.

"Oh... no-no-no. I just... I never wanted to forget that night, or you." He smiles down at you and you feel all your doubts fade away.

You are about to say something else but Jeff opens the bus door cause both of you to jump.

"Eddie... I'm sorry but we really gotta go. The show-"

"Right. Right." Eddie looks from Jeff back to you. "I... fuck. I gotta go."

"I know." You sigh softly before looking down to your feet, trying to calm the sadness in your chest. "I wish we had more time... or that I didn't waste it with a lot of running." You force an airy laugh.

Eddie tucks his fingers under your chin and smiles. He lifts your gaze to his. "I'll be back. At the end of my tour I'll be back for you." He groans slightly. "Kiss me. Please."

You don't waste a second before connecting your lips with his once more. He shivers in your grasp and tries to pull you closer as if you aren't already pressed against his chest. He melts into you again and you can feel him and yourself getting lost in the moment again. You pull away, your chest heaving with desire. "Eds. You gotta go."

He groans and closes his eyes. "Right right." He quickly looks to the bus and sighs. "Right." You watch his face fall into a frown.

"You'll be back. So... I'll be waiting." You smile softly. "Sounds crazy but... that's what I'm gonna do." Before you can say anything else Eddie release you and runs to the bus. You standing there questioning if that was his goodbye until he emerges once more.

"Here write you number again." He sighs handing you eyeliner pencil.

You giggle as you begin. You write it out clear enough for a baby to read. "Okay."

"787-908-2341" Eddie says out loud and you nod. "Good. I'll call you tomorrow, I promise." He quickly presses a kiss to your lips before rushing back to the bus. You step onto the sidewalk and watch as they leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie kept his promise. He called you the very next day and you talked until he has to get ready for his show. It was the most amazing time of you life.

For the next few months this is how it went. Eddie called you everyday to either say hi quickly or talk with you. It was lovely truly. Until the final month of his tour. His contact with you at first dropped to just saying quick hellos everyday. Then twice a week. Then once a week. Then nothing. You heart felt as if it was breaking into a thousand little pieces.

It is the final day of Eddie’s tour and you wonder if he’ll ever talk to you again. You yawn as you flip through the channels on your tv. Suddenly a celebrity channel flashes Corroded Coffin across the screen. You feel stupid but you blush. They zoom in on Eddie and suddenly a girl flashes across screen. Miss Indiana. Chrissy Cunningham. You quickly turn up the volume.

“This is truly a power couple we never would have imagined. The master of metal and miss Indiana. The rocker and the sweetheart. Yet the couple was spotted all throughout this month and rumor is that they are officially dating behind the scenes of it all.”

“That would make sense John. No wonder Chrissy shows up in all the cities Corroded Coffin has a concert in! She’s following her lover!”

You quickly turn the tv off and sit up. No way. After months this is why he just stops contacting you? He says he’ll be back for you but instead meets miss perfect on the road?

You sigh and suddenly you realize tears are dripping down your cheeks. You hear the phone ring and you quickly wipe your face. You walk over and pull it off the hook.

“Hello?” You croak and quickly clear your throat.

“I’m guessing you saw?” Liv. You nod as if she can see. You hum softly.

“I’m sorry. I was watching with Caleb and… god I’m sorry.” There is a beeping and you pull back.

“Hold on someone else is calling.” You sigh. And liv quickly says she’ll call you later today. You hang up and answer the phone again.

“Hello?”

“Y/n.” Eddie.

“Goodbye.” You sigh but Eddie’s pleas wretch your heart.

“Please wait. I’m sorry I didn’t call you lately. I’ve just been so busy. And I know that’s not really an excuse but-“

“Eddie why didn’t you just tell me?” You sigh wondering if he’ll just fess up to it all.

“What are you-“

“Eds! Have you seen the new?!” A female voice comes from over the phone and you feel your heart plummet to your toes.

“What? Chrissy. I’m on the phone I-“

“Well turn on the tv! Look!”

You hear similar news to what you just saw on the tv from over the phone.

“I… fuck.” Eddie mumbles and you feel as if you may cry. “Fuck fuck fuck. I, love, I gotta go. Fuck.” The dial tone fills your ears.

“Well. I suppose that’s that.” You sigh sadly.

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

Alright. That’s what I got for now. Part three is mostly written just gotta finish it up. Hope y’all can understand and bare with me.

Taglist - @iwillbiteabitch @and-claudia @ruinedbythehobbit @luvmybbies @wannabeyousobad @llodinsonll @tlclick73 @i-love-ptv @mischiefmanagers @tvserie-s-world @magnificantmermaid@brieho3 @saramelaniemoon @eddiemunsonsgurlfriend @sidthedollface2 @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @saayanaaa @mylovelycrazyworld

[abusedandromeda]

Grey Rocking Mega Post

Hey y’all! Sorry I’ve been gone but I’ve just been pretty busy lately but I’ve decided to talk about the thing that helped me the most throughout the last years of my abuse, which is the grey rock method. It can be used against toxic family members, toxic romantic partners, or maybe even toxic friends. Basically, in any abusive situation. It can also be used when meeting with said abuser after moving out of close proximity to them, such as during child pick up between divorced parents or during family reunions if you want to see a friendly relative.

Before we go on, just a quick trigger warning for abusive situations that are gonna be used as examples in this and since they’re based off my own personal experiences, they’re gonna feel a little more real than my other posts so PLEASE if you wanna skip the examples, there will be an “example start” and then an “example end”.

Anyway, let’s dive in!

What is the grey rock method?

The grey rock method is when you act as emotionally unresponsive as possible so the abuser loses interest in you in that moment. How you use is it that you don’t make eye contact with them and act uninterested. Don’t show many emotions, or any emotions for that matter, by having a flat voice, show no facial expressions and answering back with one or two words. Keep your sentences short so they don’t have ammunition to use against you or go off of.

I’ll give y’all an extreme example:

*EXAMPLE START*

Abuser: Why didn’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher yesterday?!

Victim: I’m so sorry. I was just so busy doing homework yesterday and I was just so tired and I just forgot. I’ll do it right now, I promise.

Abuser: Right now?! You were supposed to do it yesterday! I swear, you kids are so damn ungrateful. What do you even have to be tired about?! I worked a 40 hour shift and I still gotta cook for y’all lazy asses.

Victim: How am I ungrateful for not loading the dishwasher?

Abuser: Oh, so now you’re talking back?! You know what? Get the fuck out of my house before I (insert threat here) and go move in with your stepfather. You treat him so much better than you treat me. Since I’m such a bitch that you treat me like dirt, go live with him. Fuck you! Get out of my house after you load the dishes! *Storms out*

Victim: …but all I did was forget about the dishes…

It’s constantly draining when you try to defend yourself when, in reality, you will always be in the wrong. The abuser WANTS a reaction. They WANT to feel validated in their power. Now here’s an example with grey rocking:

Abuser: Why didn’t you put the dishes in the dishwasher yesterday?!

Victim: I was busy.

Abuser: Oh?! What were you so busy doing that you couldn’t take five minutes loading the dish washer?!

Victim: Homework.

Abuser: Oh, so you couldn’t have just done it after?!

Victim: I forgot.

Abuser: You forgot?! I bet you just did it to piss me off! You’re always acting so damn ungrateful! I ask you to do one fucking thing!

Victim: Okay.

Abuser: Fuck you! Go fill the dishwasher right now before I (insert death threat)!

Victim: Okay.

Abuser: UGH!!! *Storms out*

*EXAMPLE OVER*

Obviously this written example doesn’t have the tone of voices to fully show off grey rocking so if you want to see a video example, synful_ on tiktok has some on a narcissist romantic partner and a couple more dealing with parents so you can get the full idea.

What’s the point???

“So what’s the point of grey rocking? It sounds so isolating :(, bestie!” These are more personal points than using actual research, but for me, grey rocking:

Allowed me to plan an exit strategy without getting emotionally confused

Allowed me to create an distance between myself and my abusers

Allowed me to conserve at least a little more energy instead of wasting it during on sided arguments

Allowed me to create my own safe haven due where it was nearly impossible for my abusers to access because of how much I stopped telling them

Allowed me to have my own personality outside of the abuse

And, finally, gained confidence in my own ability to stop relying on them for both financial, physical and emotional needs

The biggest point was allowing myself to plan an exit strategy. I’ve seen some comments saying that grey rocking doesn’t work but when asked about it more, they’re saying their relationship is getting worse. YES, THE RELATIONSHIP WILL GET WORSE! IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST TO “FIX” YOUR RELATIONSHIP, THEN THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU! SO PLEASE DO NOT USE THE GREY ROCK METHOD AS A LONG TERM WAY TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP BETTER! IT IS VERY DANGEROUS!

For me, the grey rock method worked for about 2 and a half years before I was able to leave, and even then my abusers freaked out and found out about my plan to escape. It was only luck (and a ton of lying) that bought me more time to have a place to move to so I wouldn’t get kicked out on the streets without any resources. Yes, abusers can get more violent with this method. Yes, abusers can get more tense with this method. That’s why it’s only short term like with a future exit strategy or during meetings with them every once in a while.

Personal stuff that makes grey rocking easier

I’m not gonna lie, grey rocking is hard, especially when you’re first starting out. You really do want to defend yourself and prove everything that they’re saying is wrong. That you’re not cheating or that you are grateful for the roof over your head. Because, in the end, you probably still love them and want to let them know that you’re not as vindictive and heartless as they’re making you out to be. It’s a long process that gets easier with time because of the emotional detachment you eventually end up with.

So, when I first started out, I was a young 16 year old just surviving from a fresh suicide attempt and wanting to get out but not knowing how. So one of my alters, Arson, hit me with this: “everything they say is a lie”. What does that mean? Exactly what it says. They say you’re ungrateful? Don’t believe in it. They say you’re a fat ass? Don’t believe in it. They say they’re there for you whenever you need them? Don’t believe in it. This is obviously a big extreme, but at a time where I was just too emotionally drained, it was just easier to stop believing in them entirely.

Give up any hope of a relationship. For me, it had been 16 years and nothing changed despite so much hope. Think of it like this. You haven’t stuck your hand in a fire because you know it’ll burn, and to find that out, you might’ve burned your hand years ago. I’ve stuck my hand out in that fire again and again hoping it wouldn’t burn. But fire is fire, it’ll always burn. Stop hoping it’ll turn to water.

Recording the abuse helps the last point. Even if it’s not legal, you don’t need to use it as evidence in a courtroom. You can just use it as evidence for yourself. If you ever find yourself faltering, listen to those recordings and remember the reason why. You can argue it just retraumatizes you, but it personally got my head out of my ass every time my mind went back to “but they’re family! They’re just having a hard time!” If you’re too nervous to record or just don’t have access to any recording device, then journaling about it in the moment also helps, although I’ve never tested that out.

Do not give them any personal information. “But Andromeda? Like credit card information???” No. Stop talking about your day. If they ask, just say good. Do not take initiative to start a conversation. If they’re the ones who start a conversation, don’t go in depth. Just give them simple answers. Don’t talk about things you enjoy, or about your friends or your hobbies. THEY WILL ALL BE USED AGAINST YOU AND WILL MAKE GREY ROCKING EVEN HARDER EMOTIONALLY.

Plus, it is kinda funny to watch them grasp at ways to manipulate you. When you’re months out and you’ve changed as a person, you’ll just start to watch them try to manipulate the old version of you and realize how stupid they actually are because they rely on information based on you from you. You’ll see what I mean one day lmao.

Long-term affects

I can’t say for sure that it’ll 100% affect you long term, but I’ll use myself as a warning that grey rocking MIGHT affect how you interact with people. I ended up less talkative in general, especially with strangers. Even if a stranger does try and talk to me, my tone of voice is always very flat and I give one or two words answers. Sometimes I’m not interested in the conversation, sometimes I just don’t have that much to say to someone I don’t trust. I found that it was just easier to navigate my life that way since I used to live with my abusers daily. My voice is more lively with people I know more closely, such as my therapist, 2 friends and alters.

The way I speak is actually the reason why I got diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder, which the diagnostics include “odd speech”. Odd speech also relates to autism and most likely other disorders so keep in kind that during a session where you’re getting diagnosed with something, they’ll note that down so please don’t be too shocked. I can’t say it’ll affect everyone this badly. You might be completely fine and have no after effects.

———————————

Anyway, I think that’s it! I’m pretty sure I covered everything, but please don’t be shy to ask questions since I might’ve missed some things. Right now, it’s midnight and I’m getting pretty tired so I’m pretty sure I missed some points but hopefully I got what I wanted all down. I really hope this helps someone out there in some way since, despite the after effects, this really did help me in my situation. Night, y’all!

[leia-leek]

I’ve got a lot of thoughts about the state of minds of both the main leads in Love Like the Galaxy post the 5-years seperation. To avoid spoilers I’ve put them under the cut. ;)

HBY’s actions after the 5-year separation make a lot of sense to me based on his character in the drama (he is def different than the one in the novel). He is operating under 3 main issues.

He knows and understands CSS more now and doesn’t believe she will ever forgive him. Obviously, he wants to get back with her, has been since before he even left for those 5 years, but he also knows that it’s going to be nearly impossible for her to forgive him. He doesn’t expect it at all. You can see that when he tries to dismiss himself from CSS’s parents after the Empress’s death, but that scene also highlights the next issue, which is...

He is still pretty socially inept. It’s one of his flaws. While he does get better at it while dating CSS, it never really goes away. He has no idea what words to use or how to use them. This man doesn’t really have a filter, he usually says what he means and means what he says, but is smart enough to know when not to speak. His poetic, smooth flirts with CSS? Just him being honest and speaking from his heart. After the 5 years, when he doesn’t believe he can show his heart to her anymore, what can he say? He doesn’t believe he has the right to speak openly to her about his feelings. Mostly because...

He respects the hell out of CSS. One thing I love about HBY throughout the show is his respect for CSS. She tells him that she can’t trust him and give her heart to him anymore? Then he will bow out respectfully. He won’t pressure her. He may be devoted to her and will never love anyone else, but he won’t put his own feelings onto her. He did this when she was previously engaged so... 

That’s why we don’t see him beg. We might want to see him beg after what he did, but that doesn’t seem to be his character in the drama. We want to see him fight hard for her, and be relentless like we know he can be, but he has had 5 years to think of everything he has done and he’s mellowed out a bit. And he treats his relationship with CSS like he treats his heart and his heart is pretty bruised after the 5 years, so he absolutely has to be careful with it. Thus he holds back, much to the dismay of the viewers, me included.

As for CSS? I’ve seen a lot of people upset at her ice queen act. I’ve watched LLTG about a billion times now and I think I understand why she seems that way. Namely? She is fighting depression and grief hard. She states that HBY is her true love and the show has kinda hammered it hard that CSS is the type to love deeply. She mirrors HBY to a ridiculous degree. Some of her main issues throughout the show have been:

Her abandonment issues.

Her low self-esteem/self-image.

Her anger issues.

Learning to love and learning to forgive (she learned to love pre the 5-years seperation).

Her anger issues have always been very subtle but there are signs here and there. “Venting her anger” has been quoted a few times in the show. It makes sense that she is angry and it ties heavily with her abandonment issues. 

CSS states that she had to put down her anger issues during their seperation, so she no longer has that burning intensity that she used to have. It’s off-screen, which I think was a poor choice in storytelling but you can piece it together after a few re-watches (or if you’re really good at retaining info during your first watch). Like HBY, she has mellowed out or matured out of her anger, which means she doesn’t have that to fuel her. Her depression and sadness then take center stage. What about her other issues though?

When HBY abandons her or plans his murder/suicide while leaving her out of the loop, it rips open a wound that has never truly healed. Throughout the show, we can see that CSS is affection starved because of her parents leaving her with relatives that didn’t give a piss about her, or AKA abandoning her at her birth. It becomes an even larger wound when her mother comes home and gives her zero affection. And while CSS eventually gets the affection she needs from both the Empress and HBY, what she really needed was stability from someone showing her affection (which is why the Empress plays such an important role in CSS’s life). But that only comes with time. Her abandonment issues were something only time could heal (with continued assurances from someone CSS could rely on). In the show, she only had a year with her family before her wound was reopened.

5 years under the care and love of the Empress gave her that. She needed that time, to not only let go of her anger, or to rebuild her shattered self-image*, but to build up the assurance of stability. She also knew the Empress was sick, but it allowed her a semblance of a rock-solid foundation for a decent amount of time. 

*(She was going to be HBY’s wife, he -and the Empress ofc- gave her confidence, but the feeling of being not good enough was going to resurface when HBY did what he did. It was good that she found it again when she made a career for herself as the Palace Chief.)

So what was left? She matured, but her heart was still “dead” as per her words. Someone who is sad and depressed isn’t going to be very lively, which is why she seems like an ice queen. She isn’t being mean or emotionless, she is just in a place of deep sadness where other emotions have a hard time coming forward. When you’re that sad, you do become a bit numb to everything else as well. So to heal from that sadness, she had to come forth and return to the waking world outside the palace. And she was forced to with the Empress’s death and HBY’s return.

For CSS to move forward she needed to learn to forgive. And the start of that was with her family, her parents, the first people to abandon her. Not with HBY. That’s why the “move on” scene was both heartbreaking and needed. She wasn’t ready to forgive him, the timing was off, but she needed to hear him apologize first. She needed the assurance that he would be okay because she would always think of him but couldn’t be with him. With that, when her mother apologizes, tells her that they’ll never leave her again, and asks to give them a second chance, she could accept it (and you start to see her old troublemaker self come back with her asking her father which of 3 gave him the worst headache lol). She then has a shaky but possible new foundation. Her grandmother then apologizes (she overhears so it’s not direct) and CSS realizes she needs to focus on the people that love her. That scene parallels the one at the beginning where she says she needs to be more solitary and think of herself.

Now she is ready to hear and forgive HBY. (It’s why she ends her engagement talks with YS.)

CSS is still stubborn ofc, so it takes a death scare, but his words of regret reach her and they get back together. That’s when you start to see her thaw. You start to see her being happy again. Unfortunately this is where the 10-episode cut/edit really hurt the show. We only get 1 and 1/4 of an episode to see her come back to herself. We see her defend the village, then tease and smile with HBY, but we don’t fully get to see our old CSS return within such a short time. We can infer, that yes, she will be her old self soon enough (and even better), but we don’t see it on screen. That’s why I think a follow-up movie is needed tbh. 

But yes, it makes sense for her to seem so frigid after the 5 years because the focus was on her sadness/depression and her grief at being apart from her one true love. A lot of her other development happened within the time skip and left her with only a little bit more to go before she was fully developed. She needed that entire time to process a lot of things emotionally (and imo, something we needed to see on screen, the final episodes were poorly done sadly). Not so much for HBY, the poor boy, he probably pieced together his folly within a few months and the rest of the time he was just in a time-out for his bad behavior. 

[aprillikesthings]

I have flipped the laundry and put the towels away and re-made the bed, I have made dinner and done a load of dishes, it's time for more She-Ra!

s5 ep4 Stranded

but first do you want to see my dinner

Rice Cabbage stir-fried in light sesame oil w/ garlic A couple of eggs Sesame seeds

SO SIMPLE but so good!!! Seriously this turned out perfect. God damn.

BUT TIME FOR CARTOON

Adora: "Let me get this straight: Catra saved you from Horde Prime?"

lol

pfft

Man I am not going to screenshot all the things her face does in a few seconds, but remember waaaaaay early on when I was comparing their facial expressions when Catra and Adora hear each other's names, to that scene in Arcane where Vi realizes Caitlyn is into women, and Vi's face says a TON of things in 1.5 seconds? Adora's face here goes on a JOURNEY: confusion, shock (as shown above), anger, something I can only describe as "well I obviously have to rethink some things"/"maybe I've been wrong about her this whole time", some kind of fatigue tinged with regret, and then she slides down the wall to sitting.

It's just really well done.

Also I know there's a ton of videos showing the progression between Catra and Adora in the last season and I am forcing myself not to watch them or any of the meme videos until I AM DONE WITH THE SHOW because I don't want to dilute the emotional impact of watching them when I get to them.

Anyway Glimmer goes to apologize for the shit she did to make everything go to hell on Etheria, but then the ship goes bumpy bump and stops moving. But yeah Bow is keeping his distance from Glimmer right now.

So Glimmer sobs in Adora's arms instead. And the ship goes bumpty again. Entrapta says it's because they're out of fuel crystals but there's a planet with some nearby.

Aw there's a lovely interaction between Scorpia and Swift Wind back on Etheria.

Back to Space:

I've just noticed it looks like a ship anchor, which I assume is deliberate, since it would be Horde Prime's "anchor" on a planet.

Yeah Bow's still mad about it.

I love Entrapta (she's talking about how the old fuel crystals are probably fused to the engine by now)

LOL THE SHIP (Darla) RESPONDS "I do not feel pain" and Entrapta immediately smiles again "oh okay!"

pFFT

she WAGGLES HER EYEBROWS AHAHAHAH

*looks at Adora* *looks at Vi* *thinks about how I've wanted to cosplay both Catra and Caitlyn*

hm. *side-eyeing self*

EDIT: ALSO THEY BOTH WEAR RED JACKETS LOLOL

Anyway Adora fell in a hole

Glimmer: "Just stay put, we're coming. We'll have to find another way down." Adora: "I think I see a light. I'm gonna go towards it." Bow, freaking out: "Don't go towards the light!"

LOLOL

And Swift Wind does a little story-telling into the sky about how things are going on Etheria. It's cute.

And Adora gets in a fight with other people looking for fuel crystals.

They're also from a planet Horde Prime destroyed. Also it turns out the crystals are nearly impossible to get to.

awwww

and then "he has to pay for what he did! And he--he has someone on his ship. Someone I--" and she looks back and forth and then stands up straight again. "We're stopping him! Period."

BAHAHAH

"if your friend is with Horde Prime, it's already too late"

"I mean, she used to be, but that was a long time ago,"

"but then she saved Glimmer. And maybe that means there's still good in her, and now, I don't know, it's--"

BAHAHA (remember when that was a relationship option on facebook? "It's complicated"?)

(lol I accidentally closed the tab and had to reopen it and it wouldn't let me take this without the rating???)

Anyway they're all like, Nobody stands up to Prime and survives.

They all head out to find the fuel crystals but there's a bunch of earthquakes and they have to GET THE FUCK OUT, and as their only way out starts to collapse--

Adora manages to make a way out!

Entrapta is like, that was She-Ra, obviously

ANYWAY there's some lovely derring-do and Glimmer gets the fuel crystals, Bow saves her life a couple of times over, and everyone makes it out of the cave before it collapses. Then the star kids (who haven't seen magic in centuries) offer to join the cause.

Back on the ship, Glimmer does an amazing apology speech to Bow:

Glimmer: "Look, I know you're still mad at me. Maybe you'll be mad at me for a really long time. I deserve it. And maybe--maybe we'll--maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be. But I'm not going to stop trying to make it better. I made a mistake with the Heart of Etheria. I should have listened to you, and I'm sorry. You get to be mad, for as long as you need to be. But I'm not going anywhere. And when you're ready, I'll be here."

And Bow accepts her apology

And Adora watches, and then turns and looks out the window

Are you thinking of someone you'd maybe like to reconnect with? To maybe forgive? hm?????

LOL I SPOKE TOO SOON Bow and Glimmer notice the way Adora is staring into the stars and ask if she's okay

"and I know Catra was our enemy and she's done a lot of bad things, and hurt a lot of people, but--

;_;

the poor thing. she's so torn up about it.

Glimmer: "Whatever you need to do, I'm with you." Bow: "Then let's do this. Best Friend Squad style."

And there's a group hug.

AND SWIFT WIND FELT ADORA DO THE SHE-RA THING even if only for that few seconds, wooo!

End of episode! Roll credits!

OH GOD THE NEXT ONE IS SAVE THE CAT

AAAAHHHHHHH okay first I gotta flip the laundry again

[nburkhardt]

It’s been a while since I wrote anything I liked enough to post anywhere. But I really liked how this part of something came out and thought I could share it since I haven’t seen much of a certain line in it. Since I kept thinking of Steve holding back from admitting his feelings because of everyone he loved leaving him. Don’t ask me about the timeline, it’s sometime after season 4, obviously Eddie survives and grew closer to Steve. (Based around the lyrics of Charlie Be Quiet! By Charlie Puth)

~~~~

Jolting awake, Steve looks around and finds himself still in the back room of Family Video.

His head is pounding and he falls back on the chair, glancing at the clock, it glaring at him saying it’s well past closing.

“Well, good morning”

Eyes nearly popping out of his head, he jolts upright and finds Eddie sitting across from him.

“What-what are you doing here?”

Eddie shakes his head and tilts his head to the side, “do you want me to lie or to tell you the truth?”

Confused, he opens his mouth and closes it before just nodding.

Eddie drops his legs onto the floor and looks at him with a smile, “well, the lie would be that my van got stolen and you’re my ride now. The truth? I’m concerned and forced my way in here, locking the kids out and bribed Robin into getting them out of the store. That was” he looked down at his watch, “three hours ago, gotta say, Steve. Having two breakdowns in thirty minutes is a lot, I’m surprised”

He snorts, without thinking. His brain slow from the headache. His heart, though, is beating like crazy.

“Yeah, well, I just ruined the only good things in my life. So,” he shrugged before looking at the ground, “but I’ll be fine. You can go-“

Eddie let’s out a ‘tsk tsk’ while shaking his head and stands up, just to sit next to him, a hand on his shoulder to hold him in place.

“Now, Stevie. You don’t get it, clearly.” Eddie starts, “Dustin filled me in on what you said, and he’s right, it’s very concerning. Clearly your parents fucked your head up and Nancy really did tear your heart apart for you to believe you’re unloveable and not wanted”

Shaking his head, he looks away from Eddie. Hoping his heart is only loud to himself, “Eddie, I- I don’t need-“

“Don’t need what? Someone to help you realize your brain is fucking stupid? Don’t need me here to listen to you?” Eddie takes his hand off his shoulder, “come on Steve, let me help”

Steve doesn’t know what to say, his heart is beating at an alarming rate and his head is screaming at him to stay quiet. The nasty voice in the back of his head whispering that it’s all a trick, that Eddie will leave him immediately.

But, maybe?

Maybe he can be like Eddie, brave and unapologetically himself. Not afraid to show his feelings.

Though, he doesn’t think he can handle being told again that the person he’s in love with isn’t and can’t be in love with him. This, this could and will break him. He can’t be around all this rejection anymore, his heart can’t handle it.

“Hey, Stevie, come back to me. Get out of your head.” Eddie whispers to him and oh so gently places his hand on his face and forces eye contact, “there you are”

He chokes on a sob and his eyes well back up, “I love you” he whispers it, hoping and praying that maybe this is a fucked up dream. Closing his eyes, “I’m in love with you and, and I can’t help it, I’m sorry”

There, it’s been a month and he said the words not only out loud but in front of Eddie.

Eddie who’s silent and hand hasn’t left his face. Steve doesn’t know what it means, his tears falling down his face and his heart is impossibly fast and the nasty voice in his head is laughing a bitter sound.

This is why he needed to be quiet, he needs to leave, needs to get away from-

“Steve, look at me” Eddie’s voice doesn’t sound angry, the hand pushing his face back towards him but he has his eyes shut tight, “Steve, please”

He’s a weak, weak man.

Opening his eyes, he finds Eddie’s face is red and tears in his eyes but there’s a smile on his face. “Why are you sorry?” He whispers it, and Steve doesn’t know what it means.

“I-“ he starts and he shuts his mouth, trying to find the words. “Didn’t mean to?”

That startles a laugh out of Eddie, he shakes his head and moves his other hand to Steve’s face, nearly squashing his face. And, well, Eddie’s laugh is something that always makes him smile.

“Hey, Stevie,” Eddie starts and loosens the grip on his face, “I’m not at all sorry to say, I’m in love with you.”

~~~~

What do we think? 😅 I left things out because it didn’t seem worth posting and a lot of it has been around fics already. Insecure Steve is very popular, let’s be real here lol. Again, I really haven’t shared any fics I’ve written in years, the last time I posted anywhere was I think back in 2012? Not that I stopped completely, i write for myself all the time and steddie is my favorite right now. All mistakes are my own because I suck at spelling and sometimes too dumb to come up with clever wording.

The last part is seriously my favorite part of this.

[lcnelyday]

suvi,

i never thought i would hear from you again. none of us did. part of me feels silly asking why i was the one you chose to reach out to. obviously it wouldn't be mum, but if someone told me that we would all hear from you again, i would assume it would be kasper. he hurt you the least. i suppose the twin thing never really goes away though, does it?

it's hard to admit but i have thought of you many times in the last ten years. you were impossible to find until you weren't. and now you're impossible to ignore. my daughter alora reads your comics. she is very excited for this show of yours coming out, as is my wife. i am really proud of the fact that you stuck to your guns. i would love to have seen the look on mum's face when she heard the news about your show.

i suppose it's more polite if i tell you how i've been, since you were so kind to offer your own little update. i got married pretty quickly after you left, found the love of my life, sarah. we have two kids, alora and henrik. alora is an artist, which is appropriate since she was named after you. sarah got me into therapy when she was pregnant with alora, which helped me sort through and try to understand what kind of childhood we had been given. apparently, it was abusive and not normal. when sarah got pregnant with henrik, we decided to follow in your footsteps, cutting ties with mum and kasper. i hear they are both doing well, as well as you can living in a haunted house. kasper still sends me an email update every six months or so. i don't reply.

i was awful to you. i know that, and i don't even want to apologize in a letter. it won't count the same as if i told you in person. it's unforgivable, and i know we were both traumatized and manipulated, but you never seemed to let it touch you, and i was always so mad about that. envious i suppose. you deserved more, you deserved the brother who grew up alongside you. i know you never would have done that to me, had the roles been reversed. i am sorry we wouldn't let you come to dad's funeral. i'll never let you forgive me for that one, so don't even think about it. i know you well enough to have justified that move a million ways in your head. i saved some of his ashes for you, but i think it's illegal to mail human remains so.

i hope this guy landon is as good as you said he was. i can't believe you are engaged. and with a baby on the way. i cried the moment i read about it. it sounds like you found someone who really loves you, who really brings you peace. i am sorry we could never do that for you. i won't be like her, you know that right? you'll never be like her. that was why she hated you so much. you never reacted how she would have, and that scared the ever living shit out of her.

i don't want to overwhelm you, but if you ever want to meet up again, sarah and i are more than interested. we'll come to you, or you can come to us. or we can meet somewhere in the middle. i don't know. i've added a couple of pictures of the kids, i am so sorry you missed so much of their lives already. alora is nearly eleven. i know your comics aren't geared to her age, but she really is just like you. looks like you even. and henrik, fuck, he is just like kasper. i wonder how i ended up with two kids and neither of them are like me at all. henrik is eight, and he's a good fucking kid. smarter than all get out and kinder even still.

you're going to love sarah. you'd probably steal her from me if you had been around. she has a theory about the detective in your comics, the one that is being turned into a show. she thinks that he is based on landon, but i said that landon isn't a detective. and she laughed at me. actually laughed at me. said that kassandra nilsson (nice by the way, i appreciate it) was in love with the detective long before they got together in the comics, which is her guess for you and landon. even if it is true, can you lie and say it's not so i am not horribly embarrassed that my wife knows more about my sister than i do?

i really have missed you, vi. i can't even begin to explain how much i have grieved our relationship. i hope to hear from you again soon. i've also added my phone number, if you'd like to call and talk to the kids. alora has an instagram account, she is only allowed to share art, but she asked that i pass on her username, she follows you. i love you, suvi.

all my love, nilsson (@wynterlanding)

[moonxsuncelestials]

Leaving the Oasis (Part 1)

Something wasn’t right. Jasper noticed it, judging from his fiance's posture and the fact she’d been staring at the thick wedding scrapbook that belonged to Syrina for over half an hour. The page was of different ideas on who could walk the bride down the aisle-Syrina had her brothers do that, in place of her father since he had passed away when she was a child. Yue had mentioned it before one night when they were discussing if she was going to walk down the aisle herself or if Set would do it. Yue wanted to include all of the men who had been a part of her life. Starting obviously with Set, her adopted father, and then to her big brothers, with her twin being the last one. 

Now Jasper had at first chalked it up to possibly just the stress of planning their wedding, which is to be held upon the New Lunar Year for both of their sakes. He will officially take on his birth mother’s title as Tsukiyomi, with Yue being his consort and wife. His Moonlight and be recognized as Queen in her own right. 

And that begged the question: Why was she hesitating? She was usually excited, though he had noticed a certain pattern in the twins’ talks lately. Still, best he asks it now. “Moonlight?” He called out to her causing her to jump. 

“I’m fine.” She answered too quickly and inwardly smacked herself. “Really, I am.” “Then why are you putting off going to see your big brother?” He asked as he returned with her hot tea whilst she sighed softly. “Is it because you’re nervous about his answer?” He needed to tread cautiously but his beloved nodded. 

“And…well…” She tucked a long strand of her translucent rose-pink hair behind her pointed ear before facing her lover. “Is it me or have you noticed that Yun has been getting more distant? All we ever seem to talk about is Alli and then he says he has other things that need his attention.” She was annoyed at this but she also didn’t want to lose Yun completely. 

Welp, that was part of the answer he expected. Having knowledge and wisdom of prior events, thanks to his transitioning into Tsukiyomi, Jasper has noticed a certain pattern developing between the twins. He could see the love that was still there, otherwise, Yun wouldn’t have bothered to stay within The Oasis and help Yue raise their teenage son. But Yun was holding something back from Yue, something the demigod couldn’t fathom yet he had a bad feeling that if the twins didn’t communicate…

Something tragic was going to happen.

Yue will admit that, yes, she has kinda noticed another pattern between herself and Yun. Ever since Ming Chi came into their lives, things in the house get pretty intense should the rui shi and Yun be in the same room. “Jaz, I’m worried and scared. Yun has nearly become a stranger to me. He’s been distant, hostile a few times-he’s always talking to himself and Castle won’t tell me why either. Says that it’s not his position to tell and even if he had, he asked me if I would still love Yun if I knew the truth-ARGH!”

She put her hands over her ears and shook her head. Maybe she is overthinking this, maybe she shouldn’t talk to Yun about the wedding today, but then she knew that she had to. This might be the only time she may have to be free to talk to him. “I don’t understand why she is constantly trying to make out my big brother as some kind of monster that I should stay away from.” Yue won’t deny that it is downright frightening whenever she sees them alone. She can tolerate the sniping up to a certain point, but she has witnessed how easily it is for Yun to become so cold and demonic-looking whenever he gives veiled threats at their aunt.

It’s gotten so bad she fears that they will physically assault each other. She had tried on numerous occasions to stop it, but it was nearly impossible; it got to the point where Yun said that so long as Ming Chi lived under her roof, he would not come lest it was for Aladin’s sake. That broke her heart but she respected his decision and tried to at least talk to him within his own house; but, this is where they’ve ended up.

“I keep seeing him standing in the middle of a bridge, me behind him, but he’s too far for me to reach. And then…he vanishes.” A vision, one that she has been dismissing as just overthinking things and that she is stressed to the max, that’s all. Yun loves the kids, he’d never just vanish into thin air. So why is she feeling like something HORRIBLE is going to happen? No, I’m just overwhelmed and nervous because I rarely get to talk to Yun about these things. He’s not a monster, just rough around the edges like Jackal is. And the more she thought about it, the more that thought made sense.

 “I just want my big brother to walk me down the last part of the aisle. But a part of me is asking, what if I’m making a mistake in asking him to be in our wedding party? He can only be civil to Aunt Ming Chi for so long and I’ve seen what he’s capable of. I’m scared that one day they are going to get so heated that they’re going to-”