#obviously i’ve gone into a lot of detail here that you don’t really need to enjoy the race

[ferraris-gf]

explaining f1: tyres 🛞

first post in this series (will it be a series? we’ll see)

recently i think we’ve had some particularly interesting races in terms of tyre strategy and i readied in suzuka that i don’t totally understand it all, so this has been my little research project on tyres!

pirelli

pirelli are an italian tyre manufacturer who have been supplying f1 tyres since 2011. unlike some eras of f1, pirelli is currently the exclusive supplier in the sport.

in 2022, pirelli introduced a new 18-inch (the previous being 13-inch) tyre as part of sweeping changes to the technical regulations of the sport.

compounds

pirelli’s range is currently comprised of six ‘slick’ compounds (referred to as slick because they lack the grooves of normal road tyres - this is because these grooves exist to dispel water, something necessary for road tyres but that slows down an f1 car when not necessary) tyres, along with ‘intermediates’ and full ‘wets’ to account for weather conditions.

the six slick compounds (from hardest to softest) are referred to as follows: c0, c1, c2, c3, c4 and c5. from this range, pirelli pick three to be used at each grand prix, based on the track characteristics and climate.

the highest of the set is marked red and is known as the soft, the middle marked yellow and know as the medium, with the lowest marked white and known as the hard (intermediates are green and wets are blue).

theoretically, the softs have more grip over short periods of time, making them faster and better for qualifying runs. generally, the hard and medium compounds are more favourable on race day because they last longer.

rules

on most weekends, drivers are given 13 sets of slicks, 4 intermediates and 3 wets, with a set of softs reserved for drivers who reach q3 (the final round of qualifying). all drivers must return 2 sets after each of the 3 practise sessions, meaning only 7 sets are left for qualifying and the race. drivers must also use at least two different slick compounds during the race (provided the weather is dry).

on sprint weekends, the number of dry sets are reduced to 12. after the sprint, drivers must return the set they completed the most laps on.

tyre allocation is on a per-driver basis, teammates cannot share or swap tyres. in bahrain in 2020, mercedes mistakenly put bottas’ tyres on russell’s car when attempting a double stack. the team was fined €20,000 for this.

drivers must run the same compound on all four wheels at all times.

strategy

tyre plan for the weekend is the decision of the team, generally based on information from pirelli, observed degradation over practise, the circuit and the weather forecast.

if rain is expected, teams can draw from their wet weather allocation, and so they don’t need to be as cautious with their dry weather tyres. if it’s hot, teams have to make sure they can cover plenty of tyre changes.

if track layout means overtaking is tough, teams may want a higher number of pitstops to stop drivers getting stuck behind rivals. also, if the track is walled (and so safety cars are more likely) teams may plan for more stops.

terminology

scrubbed: teams often ‘scrub in’ a set of tyres by running them briefly during practise, this means that when they are later used in the race, they warm up much faster than brand new tyres.

blistering: when the inner part of tyre heats more than the outer, creating minor explosions which damage the surface of the tyre.

graining: when the outer surface is hotter than the inside of the tyre, leading to the outside rubber flexing, breaking and sticking to the tyre.

flat spot: a patch where the surface of the tyre looses its curve. this is usually caused by a driving locking up by breaking too late, meaning the tyre scrapes along the ground.

deg or degradation: refers to a steady loss of tyre performance due to general wear.

[harksness]

A/N: i was so feral over detective harkness i wrote a quick lil smut fic (thanx to the rings anon who gave me an idea for this lol <3)

also I KNOW SHES TECHNICALLY AGNES HERE SHHHH JUST GO WITH IT

Warnings: SMUT, oral, Agatha receiving, hair pulling, degradation and praise. Dom! Agatha as per usual. Sub! Reader as per usual.

WC: 2.1k

Carefully, you push the door to Agatha’s office closed behind you and twist the lock. She doesn’t even notice that you entered, hunched over her desk with papers and files sprawled out beneath her, pen clenched in her left hand as she bends over the mess. Strands of hair had slipped out of her ponytail, hanging along the sides of her face.

Once in a while you’ll surprise her at work like this. She’s been so stressed lately that she hasn’t been sleeping through the night. That's not abnormal for your wife, she is a bit of a workaholic afterall, but sometimes she just needs you to drag her back into reality. And that's been hard to do with your conflicting work schedules and her long days lately.

Slowly, so you don't startle her, you walk over to Agatha’s desk. Her eyes glance up to you but don’t seem to process you right away as the flick back down to her work, before landing back on you again. As the realization finally sinks in, a smile grows on her features.

“Hey, hot stuff.”

Your heart leaps into your throat at the way she shoots you a wide grin, legs spreading as she leans back in her office chair to look up at you.

“Hey, even hotter stuff.”

She snorts at your flirting, throwing her pen down onto her desk. It makes you feel a little too smug that it's so easy for her to forget her work when you're around.

“You don’t look in the mirror as much as you should. You’re obviously the hotter stuff.”

She argues lightheartedly as you turn and lean against the desk next to her, the plush of your ass digging into the edge of the tabletop as you smile down at her.

“Well I could say the same thing to you.”

Again, she snorts.

“I’ve barely slept the last few days, my eye bags are huge, my hair is a mess and I’ve got stains all down the front of my frumpy flannel. I’m not hot right now.”

Agatha's eyes are tired and her words make your heart ache in your chest. She's always the most beautiful thing in the world, the details don't matter. She's just always stunning.

You lean in towards her and take her face in your hands, her eyes fluttering closed as she leans into your touch.

“You’re always hot, baby.. It doesn’t matter the circumstances.”

You coo at her, a little laugh escaping her lips as you lean in and press a kiss to her forehead. You decide to speak up before she can continue arguing you, knowing her stubbornness wouldn't let this go unless you changed the subject.

“You look stressed, my love..”

Agatha groans at your words, frustrated.

“There’s just a lot going on right now.. Yknow?”

You nod your head in understanding. When you married her, you knew this is what you were signing up for. She’s obsessed with her job, gone for long periods of time and unable to take her mind off of her work. And that dedication is something you love about her regardless. You’re okay with being her anchor, tethering her and bringing her back to reality. She always floats back to you when you pull her back down to Earth, and that’s all you could ever ask for. 

You’ll happily keep doing this for the rest of your life.

Leaning down, you press your lips against her cheek in a lingering kiss, lips ghosting against her skin as you speak.

“Why don’t you let me help you take your mind off of things for a bit..”

You whisper against her soft skin, and she lets out an amused noise as you continue to kiss her, your lips moving to trace along her jawline as you guide her head to tilt to the side.

“Baby… Fuck.. We can’t-”

As she says that her hands are reaching for you, grabbing you and pulling you closer. You smile against her skin.

“Are you sure you want me to stop? I will if you really want me to..”

She doesn't answer, torn between doing what she wants and the responsible thing.

You pull back, admiring her beautiful, tired features for a moment. She looks up at you with love pooling in her eyes as you trace your thumb affectionately along her cheek, under the deep purple bags creasing under her pretty bright eyes before placing a lingering kiss on her lips.

Then, you quickly glance behind you at the door you locked on the way in, ensuring it’s still secure before you drop to your knees in front of her, right below her desk and between her spread legs. The firm carpet is rough on your knees but you don't care, the woman before you is more important. She groans and lets out a louder curse at the sight of you before her.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined this..”

She breathes the words out and you smile up at her, leaning forward and running your hands up her clothed thighs.

“Then let me make your fantasy come true, baby.. Please?”

You beg sweetly, batting your eyelashes up at her. She digs her teeth into her bottom lip, eyes flickering greedily over you as she contemplates what to do. 

“Fuck, you’re worth getting fired over.”

You’re grinning ear to ear as you lean forward, running your hands from her knees all the way up her thighs and to the waist of her pants. She watches you with eager eyes, greedy smile etched into her pretty pink lips as she raises her hips off the chair.

Quickly, your hands scramble to undo her pants before grabbing the hem and pulling them down and off her legs, underwear and all, leaving her bare for you as more and more of her soft, pale skin is exposed.

She laughs softly at your eagerness, raising a hand to card sweetly through your locks.

“You begged for this, sweet girl.. Now, you better do a good job if you’re willing to risk my career over it.”

She teases and you lean in, holding her gaze as you press a lingering, open mouth kiss to the inside of her knee. You’re a bit insulted by her words.

“I would never leave you unsatisfied..”

You mumble against her plush skin, taking your time as you softly, firmly press your open mouth against her thigh over and over again as you trail kisses further up her legs.

Here and there you bite softly, dragging your teeth across the sensitive flesh. You feel yourself turning into putty beneath her at every soft gasp that slips past her lips, one of her hands mindlessly toying with your hair.

You start to repeat the actions on her other thigh, wanting to lavish her with sweet kisses and worship her when she lets out a frustrated sigh. Agatha winds her fingers into your hair, slumping down even further and spreading her legs wider as she pushes your mouth against her waiting cunt. You groan, immediately parting your lips as you breathe her in eagerly.

“No teasing, sweetheart… You’re gonna be a good girl and give me exactly what I want, aren’t you?”

She coos down at you, soothingly rubbing her fingers against your scalp. Immediately you let out a needy noise against her and nod your head, desperate to please.

“Good fuckin girl.”

Her voice is low as you drag your tongue through her wet folds. She lets out a controlled, quiet noise, only loud enough for you to hear as you lick up her sweetness. Your eyes roll into the back of your head at the taste of her heavy on your tongue.

You begin toying with her clit, first using your tongue to ghost over it in experimental patterns as you try to wind her up. Her chair creaks as she shifts a bit, hand tightening in your hair. 

You can’t get enough of the taste of her. Heavy and metallic and so good, you don't think it could ever be enough. You’d live between her thighs, eating and surviving off of nothing but her pussy for the rest of your life if you could. You make out to kiss the little bud, puckering your lips as you drag them over it before opening your mouth and sucking it between your lips. 

She groans at that, throwing her head back against the back of her seat as you flick your tongue along her clit in quick passes, groaning against her wet cunt as you do. You feel her arousal soaking your lips, and you want to lick up every sweet drop.

“Fuck, baby..”

Agatha curses, heavy breaths dropping from her lips as she looks down at you with lidded eyes. You look back up at her, squirming desperately from your place between her legs.

“You’re such a slut, just for me, hm? So desperate for me to fuck your mouth that you had to crawl under my desk and beg for it, hm?”

Agatha's voice is breathy and erratic as she rests one arm against her chair, canting her hips up against your waiting mouth, her hand buried in your hair and forcing you down and against her with each thrust. You groan against her cunt, breathing heavily as she grinds herself against your tongue. 

You just hold your tongue out for her, letting her guide you however she needs as she fucks herself against your mouth.

“Say it, say you’re my slut with your mouth full of my pussy..”

You groan at her words, nails biting into her calves as you gargle out the words that are muffled by her cunt. She laughs softly, dropping her hips back down onto the chair for a moment and pulling your head back. You heave for air, a stupid smile on your lips as you feel her wetness soaking your lips and chin.

“Say it again.”

Agatha demands, a sadistic grin on her features as she sharply pulls your head back by the fistfull of your hair. You can’t control the moan that bursts past your lips as the delicious sting settles across your scalp.

“I’m your slut, Agatha.. Just yours.. I belong to you..”

You manage to heave the words between breaths and she grins down at you with a satisfied smile on her lips.

“Good girl. Now, get back to work, slut..”

She demands, leaning back into her chair once again and you’re eagerly diving back between her soft thighs, warm and dewey with a thin layer of sweat. Her moans are more frequent now, soft and quiet and deep as they escape her lips. You suck her clit between your teeth gently, flicking your tongue over the nub as quickly as you can.

“Ooooh.. Yes..”

Agatha breathes out, jolting a bit as she raises her hips off of her seat, pressing your needy mouth harder against her wet cunt as she begins to rut against your tongue desperately. You moan into her, meeting each thrust, making sure each movement of your tongue on her clit is calculated and precise.

She gasps sharply, freezing and desperately smushing your face harder against her. You know she’s close, and with that you harshly suck on her clit, hands desperately pawing at her soft thighs as they squeeze around your head, her mouth hung open in a silent moan as she curls in on you, curses dropping from her lips.

Your whole world stops and she’s the only thing that exists as she seizes up, sharp gasps escaping her lips as her eyes pinch shut, body tensing all around you as she cums against your waiting mouth. You watch her with wide eyes, drinking in every little reaction.

A strand of her lovely brown hair sticks to the side of her face, her long, pale neck exposed. You just want to pepper kisses along every inch of her skin. The way her fingers are tightly gripping your hair burns your scalp, but you revel in the sting because it’s just an expression of her pleasure as she cums for you.

With one last relieved gasp her grip on your head loosens and she collapses into her chair, the wheels clanking as she throws her weight back down onto it. She starts breathily laughing, raising one hand to push her stray hairs behind her ears while she rubs soothing circles against your scalp with the other. 

“Ahh.. You’re right.. You never leave me unsatisfied. You’re so good for me, sweet girl..”

She coos, smiling lazily down at you before she leans forward, pressing a loving kiss to your forehead. You hum happily, a lovesick grin on your lips.

“I’m always happy to be good for you.."

You smile up at her, resting a cheek on her soft, warm thigh. But the sweet moment is short lived, because your features drop and panic sets in when a firm knocking sounds from her office door.

[fairyberkshire]

FALLING FOR SHADOWS | RAFE CAMERON AU

pairings: frat!rafe cameron x female!reader

a/n: here's some texts ! this chapter takes place the day after the party ! i hope you all enjoy !

parts: 2 . . . 3 . . . 4 . . .

There you were, off to the side in a bar, nursing a drink. The music and chatter of people all just a blur in the background to you as you feel disconnected from the crowd– the world. And, as you sit here surrounded by the crowd of the bar, you can’t help but feel isolated.

Your thoughts drifting back to your father…You had earlier had a conversation with Kiara, about her father and how he was always hovered a lot in her life…And you couldn’t help but feel…sad.

Sure, your relationship with your father was long gone. Always having been complicated. And you no longer wanted him in your life…but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt at times. 

Rafe soon strolls into the bar, spotting you almost instantly from across the room, a smirk on his lips as he walks closer to you…But when he gets closer he notices you're alone and that you seem slightly off. Shoulders slumped, and eyes distant.

And, he hesitates for a moment questioning if he should turn around or not. Wondering if it’s overstepping if he sees what’s wrong…Wasn’t even sure if you’d want his help or want him there.

After all, you two had only known each other for a short period of time…but at the same time. But another part of him– it makes him want to go and comfort you. So he does.

“So…what’s got you standing all alone?” Rafe starts, deciding to go with a more casual start, and you look up at him slightly startled, before quickly brushing off her discomfort with a laugh…But Rafe doesn’t but it, picking up fully that something is wrong. He knows you aren’t acting like yourself.The girl he’s seen before who’s witty and playful. 

And, as he doesn’t say anything back, you just give him a weak smile, dropping your gaze to your drink to avoid having to look at him. 

“Are…you alright? Sorry– you just don’t look like you’re having much fun” He says, and her eyes, flicker up to meet his, before dropping back down, giving him a small shrug.

“Just not my scene,” You say it, but he knows you’re lying. Sure, it wasn’t your scene…but neither were a few other places, and you hadn’t seemed like these before.

“Something’s off– Can tell. You can talk to me, you know” He says, reaching for your drink, gently taking it from you, not even waiting for you to protest. 

“Rafe– really. I’m fine. I just…need some space. Please” Rafe knows you’re trying to push him away, maybe as a defense mechanism…so he doesn’t take it personally. 

“I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to give me details– I know some things up. But I’m here…”  Rafe says this, and you just slightly roll your eye, but you can already feel yourself slipping to want to tell him. To let him in. But questioning if you should.

“Why do you even care, Rafe?” Your voice wavers slightly, and the crack in it…the vulnerability he can sense slip through…it hits Rafe harder than he expects. So, he pulls you with him to a table, sitting down with you, and for a moment he doesn’t respond, just watches you silently– this isn’t exactly what he’s used to…caring like this.

And sure, he’s been there for his sister at times…but with you, it feels different. “I care– I care because no matter what’s going on right now…I can sure as hell tell you I was probably in worse…And that look you had? The one that tells me that you felt like the world was moving on without you. Like you’re just…stuck. Yeah– I’ve been there. And it’s not something you should face alone…trust me” He admits, and it’s when you look at him, tears welling in your eyes that he feels his heart break.

“It’s stupid…Doesn’t matter–” “If you’re sitting here like this it matters…” His words hold the truth obviously, making you stare at your drink for a long moment, your fingers fidgeting with the rim of the glass, making the condensation smear against the…the words tight in your throat making you feel suffoacated– but his gaze makes it feel like you can say what you need to.

“It’s my father…” You softly say, and his brows furrow slightly, but he doesn’t say anything, giving you the time to say something more. “When uhm…When I was born…he didn’t want anything to do with me. Told my mom that– or some bullshit like that. He just…left. And I– I was okay with that, you know? Like, I told myself that I didn’t need him” You pause, your voice cracking slightly as the next words spill out.

“But then, he’d occasionally just pop into my life out of nowhere– and then when I was fifteen…He decided he wanted to come into my life again…more permanently, like he wanted to make up for all this lost time, making all these promises. And stupid me– stupid me believed him. I believed him. I thought…I thought maybe I was enough..”

You start again, but your hands start to tremble slightly, and all while yours do, Rafe’s do the same under the table…his chest becoming tight as his own mind flickers to his family. The pressure and expectations he’d felt growing up– how his father was never what he needed in a father…So Rafe pulls his hand from under the table, reaching out and letting his fingers softly brush yours to provide you (and himself) some sort of comfort…and it does.

“But then…he’d leave again…And now here I am. I’m 19...I’ve had him out of my life for a while. Blocked. And I don’t even want anything to do with him– But…It still hurts, Rafe” You say, tears falling, as you pause.

“What– What is so wrong with me that I couldn’t stay?.. Why– why wasn’t I enough? Why am I not enough…” Rafe’s jaw tightens as he processes your words, and he’s quiet for a moment, making you wonder if you’ve said too much, but then he starts to speak, and it’s steady and sure.

“There is nothing wrong with you, y/n. Nothing. If your dad couldn’t see how lucky he was to have you in his life he’s an idiot, and that’s on him– not you. That’s his failure. Not at all yours” He says, it, and you blink at him, his words hitting you like a truck.

“And for what it’s worth?...You’re amazing. So amazing. Hell, you barely know me and you’ve already put up with my crap more than most would” You give him a smile, and it’s the first one you’ve given him all night, even as the tears fall down your cheeks…and he too smiles, shifting closer to you, his hand now fully holding yours…

And when he does this, the heaviness in your chest starts to lift,  just a little, and he stays by you– not letting go of your hand as you both just sit in the quiet corner of the bar, and for once, you feel like you aren’t alone.

[taatsums]

Kafka Oguro SSR - The Morning After The Rain: A Rainy Day Schedule For The Two of Us

Part 1

📍HAMA Tours, Office Floor

Kafka: Chief-chan, good work today.

Kaede: Kafka, you’re still here? Good work today! 

Kafka: Thanks for supporting Yachiyo today as always.

Kaede: No need to thank me. I’m sure Yachiyo-kun is still having a hard time adjusting, and I’m also doing my best along with him.

Kafka: You’re so reliable. It’s thanks to you that everyone’s getting a chance to grow. I look forward to seeing what’s next for HAMA Tours.

Kaede: You’re overestimating me…!

Kafka: Alright, enough with the formalities. Do you remember what’s happening tomorrow, Chief-chan?

Kaede: Of course. We’re going to the zoo, right?

Kafka: Yup. I’m so excited about our zoo date that I can barely sit still.

Kaede: I don’t know about calling it a date… But I guess that’s what it is when two people go out together.

Kaede: What are you looking forward to seeing the most at the zoo, Kafka?

Kafka: Hmmm, I’d say the okapi. Apparently you can only see them at HAMA’s zoo.

Kaede: Sounds nice! Let’s go see the okapi first, then!

Kafka: Yeah! By the way, it seems like they’ve got a limited-time flamingo drink available right now.

Kaede: Even the name is cute! I wanna try it when we get there.

Kafka: Just leave it to me, Chief-chan. I’ve come up with the perfect itinerary for tomorrow’s zoo tour.

Kaede: Ahaha, I’ll leave it to you. I’m looking forward to it.

Kaede: Oh. Right, I didn’t check the weather forecast…

Kafka: I have, of course. It’s going to be sunny with a 0% chance of rain.

Kaede: You really have it all planned out…!

Kafka: It’s for our date, after all.

Kafka: Alright, let’s wrap things up and go home. No staying up late, or working overtime allowed today.

📍 HAMA House, Living Room

Kafka: It’s raining…

Kaede: The weather forecast was way off…

Kaede: (I know there’s nothing that can be done, but it really is unfortunate. We haven’t had the chance to go out together in so long…)

Kafka: …

Kaede: (Kafka’s so obviously depressed…!)

Option 1: Encourage him

Kaede: I’m sure the rain will pass by this afternoon!

Kafka: The forecast just now said there’s a 90% of rain…

Kaede: (Oh man, he’s seriously depressed…)

Option 2: Join him in his sadness

Kafka: I really hadn’t accounted for this…

Kafka: No matter how advanced our civilization becomes, we can’t control changes in the weather.

Kaede: (He’s so depressed that he’s gone into enlightenment mode…!)

Kafka: …

Kaede: Kafka, you okay…?

Kafka: Alright! Today’s plan will be changed to a rainy day schedule presented by none other than yours truly!

Kaede: Huh?

Kafka: We can’t do anything about the weather, so let’s just go to the zoo another day. I’ll just come up with even more things you can look forward to.

Kafka: Just leave the details to me.

Kaede: (He’s not depressed at all! If anything, he’s having fun…!?)

Kafka: Okay, we don’t have all day. Let’s go, Chief-chan…!

Kaede: (Go where, exactly…!?)

Part 2

📍 HAMA House, Living Room

Kaede: So, what’s that rainy day schedule thing about?

Kafka: Ta-daaah. I’ve prepared all sorts of indoor activities for us to enjoy~!

Kaede: Cat’s cradle, paper clay, board games, even origami…! These bring back memories! This sure is a rainy day full course!

Kafka: How about we start with a round of Game of Life?

Kaede: Sounds good! It’s been a long time since I last played a paper board game. Wait, is that… the same one from back then?

Kafka: Bullseye! I’ve prepared items from back then ♪

Kaede: You took good care of everything, didn’t you? Thanks!

Kafka: We played a lot together back in that hospital room.

Kaede: We sure did! We’d play Game of Life and talk about our dreams for the future. Who’d have thought we’d be here now?

Kafka: You never know what hand life will deal you.

-

Kafka: And my assets total to 1.5billion, and I’ve got 3 cars.

Kaede: I lost… Nothing’s changed. I still don’t think I can win against you.

Kafka: It’s all a matter of luck ♪ Guess I was just extra lucky today.

Kaede: Okay, next… we’re having a paper clay showdown!

Kafka: Fine by me. What should we make?

Kaede: How about Shumai?

Kafka: Sounds good! We can show it to Renga later and have him decide the winner.

-

Kafka & Kaede: And, done!

Kafka: The fur was a little hard to replicate, but don’t you think his face turned out great?

Kaede: Ahaha, yeah! That’s what Shumai looks like when he wakes up.

Kafka: Uhhh, this isn’t supposed to be when he wakes up. It’s Shumai right before he digs in on a snack.

Kafka: But why does the Shumai you made look like he’s going to melt?

Kaede: The antenna on his head looked like it was about to fall apart, so I made him look like he’s sleeping!

Kafka: Haha, so he’s sleeping! I thought he was melting from the heat.

Kafka: We can’t show either of these to Renga.

Kaede: You’re right… I don’t think he’ll even be able to tell these are Shumai.

-

Kaede: It’s been a while since I last did cat’s cradle, paper clay and origami, but they’re still all fun, even now!

Kaede: (And our paper clay skills haven’t changed since/from back then, either.)

Kafka: Right. Anything is fun with you, Chief-chan– But this makes it feel like we’ve gone back in time.

Kafka: The number of Ward Mayors here will increase, so this place will keep getting more and more lively.

Kafka: We’ve got plenty of rooms, and I’d like to think we’ve got lots of things to do on rainy days, too.

Kafka: Let’s say, for example… The theater room would be nice. How about we watch a movie and eat popcorn together?

Kaede: The theater room sounds good!

Kaede: (Kafka looks like he’s having fun… I’m glad. That makes me happy, too.)

Kafka: Oh, the rain’s letting up.

Kaede: Oh, you’re right. I didn’t even notice.

Kafka: How about we go for a little walk outside? Let’s look for a rainbow.

Kaede: That sounds nice. We did that together back then, too.

Kafka: Alright then, let’s go!

Kaede: (... I hope I can find more fun things to do with Kafka, both in HAMA Tours and in HAMA House!)

[rott1ngbra1n]

Sorry for being sudo inactive!! I’ve been on a trip, where I got to see Sweeney Todd on Broadway!! Genuinely such a good show. If I went on about how amazing it was, we’d be here all day

But on the note of me being gone for a bit, ya boi has been crafting! Along with some more ramblings as usual-

More art below the cut (under my ramble-)

The chapter one outline of the Alley Cat AU has been completed! Now it’s on to drawing some panels out and finalizing the draft! Of course I will probably post more concept work before then, as some details still need to be worked out. But we are making headway!

I’m going to also work on making a masterpost here soon, so that way everything is in one neat spot. But the story will be hosted here! Here’s some more smaller concept work to tide you guys over until the next post! I obviously want to finish a couple chapters but I’ve also started work on a chapter explaining how Morro met his cat! Originally the cat was unnamed but I think Wisp works well for them, I will try to finish the reference sheets for all of the characters before I post any chapters.

I’m also going to finish up my work on chapter one, before posting any of it. So that way the wait between isn’t as awful (fun fact that’s been my New Year’s resolution- to try and post more-) but please be patient with me, I’ve never really worked on a project this big before and I am a full time college student with a job. So I will do my best!

I want to let you guys know as well, the ninja and their dynamic with Lloyd will stay pretty similar to that of the show. With them obviously being suspicious of Lloyd and his “cat”, but because they find him and Lloyd doesn’t try to do anything regarding the Serpentine (because Morro shook some sense into him-) there’s no residual “you unleashed the snakes on us-“ vibes. Instead right off the bat Kai takes one look at Lloyd and says “You are now my little brother. You cannot deny this.”, adding more fluff.

That also means we have to find another person who unleashes the serpentine. Because plot reasons and all that jazz, I’m working on it but I think it would be funny if Jay did it by accident or one of the other darkly boys did it. I’ll toy with both ideas and some other ones before I settle on it, I have time. I hope.

I’ve got some other things I’m cooking up, some Ninjago related, others pertaining to other fandoms I’m in.

Aside from that, I also have a Redbubble! There’s some stuff in there I’m reworking, so a minder and apology for that, but I’m going to try to get some more Ninjago works posted up there. Along with some original works! Here’s the link if you’d like to check it out!

I also have a KoFi that I am also redoing and working on! If you’d like to commission me, that would be the spot! I’m still trying to figure it out so if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask! KoFi link here!

I really appreciate all of your kind words and reblog tags (I do see them, they make me laugh and smile), it means a lot and I hope you all enjoy what else I’ve got in the oven!! Thank you so much!!

[jokertrap-ran]

Disney’s Twisted Wonderland: Magic Assault Practice Dire Crowley SSR 【Raven Jacket】 Chapter 3

“Greetings. Allow me to teach you the secrets of magic in this school.” *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut*

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Album Lines

⊱ ──── Main Street ──── ⊰

Crowley: Now then, what should I do this afternoon? Classes are in session, so the teachers are out of the picture… Should I go to Sam-kun’s place to kill some time, or…

???: What are ya’ frettin’ about? Don’t fret about the details!

Crowley: Hm? That sounds like…

Grim: I’m telling you, no one’s gonna notice if you skip a class or two. C’mon, let’s take an afternoon nap. Nyahaha!

⊳ Choice: Let’s go back to the classroom ⊳ Choice: Yeah, they might not notice…

Crowley: It’s Grim-kun alright…

Crowley: You two might be the only ones here, but I can’t believe that there are people who’d play truant in my school! Truly outrageous behavior!

Savannaclaw Student: Hey, that bench is ours. Move.

Grim: Whaaat!? We found this nice sunny spot first!

Crowley: Wait, there’s more of them!!!

Crowley: Not only are there an increasing number of people playing truant, but a fight’s also about to break out! Just what has the discipline in this school gone to…

Crowley: ALL OF YOU THERE! AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN CLASS RIGHT NOW!?

Grim: Yikes, a troublesome one has found us.

Crowley: (Y/n)-kun. I’d appreciate it if you could keep Grim-kun in line.

⊳ Choice: Sorry

Crowley: Oh… It’s so refreshing to see someone apologize so forthrightly after breaking the rules. I’m admittedly a little impressed…

⊳ Choice: Well, he didn’t listen…

Crowley: You look exhausted… seems like he’s truly a handful.

Crowley: All of you, return to class now. You should be honored to be enrolled in this prestigious school.

Crowley: Magic isn’t something that can be tempered by talent alone.

Crowley: Having a natural grasp of magic is important, of course, but the hard work and effort, as well as the experience you gain, will go a long way in helping you improve your skills.

Crowley: Surely you remember my kind speech from this morning, right?

Grim: It was so boring that it went in one year and out the other.

Ignihyde Student: Yeah, same here.

Crowley: WHAT!? (Y/n)-kun, surely you remember my speech, yes?

⊳ Choice: Of course I do

Crowley: Phew. I knew you were a good student.

⊳ Choice: Something about grape trees, right?

Crowley: APPLE TREES!

Ignihyde Student: You’re so annoying… You keep yammering on, but there’s not really a need to listen to you, is there?

Diasomnia Student: Yeah. I’ve never seen him do amazing magic or anything. Plus, the dorm leaders seemed done with him during the school-wide assembly too…

Savannaclaw Student: This guy’s nothing. Let’s just ignore him!

Crowley: …What a handful you lot are, truly.

Crowley: Since it has come to this, allow me to teach you just how important it is to gradually advance your magic education.

Crowley: I AM JUST OH SO KIND, AFTER ALL!

⊱ ─────── ⊰

Urk!

Grim: Ah!! That’s the Headmage’s… mysterious rope thing coiled around them!

Crowley: It’s not a rope. It’s my whip of love! A slightly stronger version.

Savannaclaw Student: Ow, ow! I’m getting constricted!!!

Diasomnia Student: We can easily break out of this — wait, I can’t! W-What’s this!? It’s not budging an inch even with our magic combined!!!

Crowley: Obviously. You do realize that I am the Headmage here, correct? Something like this comes easier to me than breathing.

Crowley: It’s one thing for the dorm leaders, who comprehend my power, to joke about me…

Crowley: But it’s another thing for students who are unable to comprehend the difference in our abilities to be belittling one such as I. Truthfully, it’s disgraceful of me as an educator, myself, to let this stand.

Crowley: You should all reflect on just what a greenhorn you are.

Grim: Yeah! Go, Crowley, go! Show them just how green they are!

⊳ Choice: I wouldn’t get too carried away doing that… ⊳ Choice: Shouldn’t we book it now…?

Crowley: And here’s a more heedful lash from my whip of love!

Grim: YIKES!

⊳ Choice: Nicely done, as always! ⊳ Choice: What lightning speed!

Crowley: Well, I wouldn’t exaggerate it that much — Hey, Grim-kun! It’s useless to struggle, so give up.

Crowley: I was expecting great things from you, Grim-kun. You too, of course.

Crowley: I was confident that the two of you would be able to change the future of this school.

Crowley: So, you two will live up to my expectations, won’t you?

Grim: You betcha. Leave it to the genius Grim-sama!

Grim: SO FREE ME ALREADY…

Crowley: Now then, let’s see… Should I deliver all of you to your respective classes like this?

Grim: What!? You want to drag us back into class all tied up like this? We’d be made a laughing stock!

Grim: RELEASE ME! RELEASE ME RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!

Crowley: I have to ensure that all of you, as students of Night Raven College, aptly reflect and learn from this incident.

Crowley: Because all of you are my precious, precious apple trees, after all…

── ⋆⋅☆𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐸𝒩𝒟☆⋅⋆ ──

[njwinterquartz]

I’m gonna make some loosely based predictions or possibilities for next season. I’m not expecting anything to actually happen or any details to be right. It’s just some ideas I’ve had or things I want to see.

(Gerrard is the most straight forward so this part mostly focuses on what the hell i think they could be using him for.) Obviously we know Gerrard is going to be terrible. But like there’s a lot of ways they can go. I think he might try and make them turn on each other, but I really doubt that’d work

We got the still from Tim of Ortiz and Gerrard so definitely a connection there, god I hope whatever plan that woman has backfires because you don’t have to ignore your pain but lashing out in this way has to lead to consequences for her. But this means he might target Hen again with more pointed bigotry and racism because Ortiz might of had a hand in bringing him back. So he might be out for her specifically. Which I’d hate but I wouldn’t put it past him.

Chim and Ravi he’ll obviously be racist and rude towards but the details I don’t really know. Well chim he’ll probably make the cleaning boy again after what Chim said to him at the ceremony. But Ravi being the newest of the bunch from A shift he might haze and treat like a probie and just discredit everything Ravi does.

Buck and Eddie are the interesting ones here. For Buck it’s Tommy. Like they’ve already established a connection between Tommy and Gerrard. So I think Gerrard will be rude and homophobic towards Buck because he’s dating Tommy. I could see him trying to make Buck doubt he knows Tommy and that’ll have Buck and Tommy really sit down and talk about each other and who they are. But I doubt that’ll be anything major because I doubt Buck would let Gerrard make him doubt Tommy.

Also with Buck being the only white man in their group with Bobby being gone, he’s kinda in that spot Tommy was in in the begins episodes. Buck won’t put up with Gerard’s racism and bigotry but still there’s a parallel there.

Eddie I think will be interesting to see the direction they take with him losing Chris for a bit and also him trying to figure out who he is outside of being a firefighter and a parent. And I think Ryan has already talked about Gerrard a bit in connection to where Eddie is at the end of the season. Something about Gerrard kinda being like the man Eddie was raised to be in a way, no emotions macho man, obviously minus the racism and bigotry. So that’ll be something I look forward to them exploring. Like I mean figuring it what Ryan meant not Eddie and Gerrard interacting.

I don’t really know where they’re gonna go with the councilwoman Ortiz plot line so I’m not going to make any guesses on that. And Eddie, I think it’ll be rough for him but I do think this storyline will end with him finally figuring out who he is when he is alone. And Bobby and Athena obviously need a new home, but I can’t predict anything for them it’s just too open. But please give Athena plot lines that don’t center around her being a cop, the season finale was way more than I was comfortable with.

Now on to some happier things I want to see.

I want more Buck and Tommy conversations, dates, and things showing how they’re growing as people and as a couple. And I don’t know why but I’d love to see them go on a date and go stargazing. Like I dunno that would be stupidly cute.

More Mara and Denny, please just more of them. I love how they’re portrayed.

On that train of thought, I want more Henren family time with Mara. I also kinda want to see if Jee will be a part of the Denny, Mara dynamic now that the Hans (Chim and Maddie) are fostering her. More madney and Henren interactions too, I adored how Karen and maddie are being shown with the hen and chim dynamic.

Obviously more Ravi and different Ravi dynamics shown with the cast.

We’ve gotten a tiny bit of Tommy lore from before the begins episodes. But obviously I want more and more of his dynamics with the others. Gimme more Chim, hen and Tommy.

Also I think it would be good to show Eddie and Tommy’s dynamic again. Especially since Eddie is pretty alone right now. I could see Tommy helping Eddie start the process of figuring out who you are. Not saying this as in Eddie realizing he’s not straight, but like figuring out who you are outside of your job, past, and family. With their shared military background I think Tommy could help Eddie with that.

There’s a lot more thoughts to this but my brain is bad at explaining them so this is what I’ve got. Wish I could do more on the predictions and possibilities like more than just what a terrible person Gerrard is going to be. But that’s all way too up in the air for me to make any cohesive thoughts and predictions on.

[darcytaylor]

I don’t know why but I feel like Luke has lost himself a little in the chaos of being the leading man, and the worldwide tour. I can only speak for myself but I have ADHD like me, and a lot of chaos going on around me sends me on a disruptive path.

This is pure speculation as obviously I don’t know, and never will, but it just feels like Colin’s storyline ie, having a glow up, and travelling has also become very like Luke’s. He knew he was going to be the lead, so started making changes - eating better and investing in a stylist. Along the way he splits up with a long time partner, and I can only speak for myself here, but I not too long ago split with my partner of 6 years, and I’ve needed drastic change in my life. Again this echos what’s been happening imo.

I can only compare, but I do remember seeing people going mad for Corey and India during the press run for Queen Charlotte. I do remember the former saying in an interview that he had a girlfriend, perhaps at the end of the run where he could say things? It just seemed then that he was putting firm boundaries and the speculation was becoming too much for him and India, I do remember comments of them looking distant and purposely standing apart, and the hate he received for bringing her along to a Netflix event in Brazil.

Luke and Nicola had six months of this, and no one will ever know what truly went on, but from the outside looking in it seemed that they were really supporting each other and getting on. This is where the speculation reaches fever pitch - they were very touchy feeling with each other, and would often hold hand. Luke sometimes even seeking Nic out and grabbing her hand to calm his nerves (he says he suffers with anxiety) it’s sweet that they can calm each other down. Nicola does seem like the more confident of the two. All this is happening whilst in the background he has a girlfriend, great. I wish them well, but it’s all sneaky. She attends some events low key - the New York premiere. I do wonder if he wants to be open, keep it private or he’s advised to by Netflix. I don’t think the streamer can actually make them keep them quiet? Corey being open about his relationship says not?

Now I don’t agree with the timing of the hard launch, that’s my problem and not his. I do agree with fans saying that the timing is not good, he could have waited and it gone down so much better. I do feel like it’s slightly disrespectful to Nic, who carried that promo tour imo. People vibed more with him than her. I sincerely hope it was his choice to go public, and it was not forced. I know she was in Milan with him, but it does feel strange that her Mum was with them; your daughter hasn’t seen her boyfriend for a while, and you tag along with them? Feels a little strange to me. Maybe that’s just me, and add in the unconfirmed rumours that the Mum liked fatshaming comments about Nic.

I’m certainly not one to hate on another women for simply being in a relationship, and I really don’t like that side of the fandom that has come out. Regardless, I hope that Luke (and Nicola) keep their feet on the ground, and have people around them who keep them on a healthy and productive path in life.

Thank you for your detailed message!

I do think that it would be hard to navigate the onslaught of fame that Luke would be going through, and some people are able to handle it better than others (Nicola being amazing at it). You can tell that Luke struggles with the fame and knowing what to do and what to say.

I do think he made some mistakes in regards to his relationship and how the whole thing transpired (which really kicked off on New Years). But I will give him a bit of grace since he may not have realized the impact his season of Bridgerton was going to have on people.

It is very funny all of the parallels that can be seen in regards to Colin and Luke, I really wonder if he has admitted that to himself or has even realized?

This may be a hot take, and while I enjoyed Queen Charlotte, I didn't love it. I also didn't follow any of the promotion in regards to Corey and India.

I have said it here before, but I never thought that Luke and Nicola were anything other than friends. You can clearly see the bond that they share, and I can understand why people thing they are more. While I thought their handholding was adorable and you can see the comfort that it gives Luke (and even Nicola), it never occurred to me that they were dating because of that.

I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand).

The paparazzi pictures on the premier night were terribly timed. It wasn't a good look and I can understand some of the outrage. Then adding fuel to the fire with Milan. I guess they thought that since they were spotted once and it was out in the public, lets just lean into it. Definitely the wrong move!

But like I always say, who knows what is actually happening. I don't know any of these people, so anything is possible.

[nootqueen404]

Sooo uh hi?

I’m alive, but I gotta be honest I’ve been STRUGGLING the last few months. The last job I got ended up going belly up really fast, and a lot of stuff came forward about the place and owner that has now resulted in me hiring an attorney. I can’t go into too much detail, some of my friends on here know what happened and I’ll ask if they can keep that to themselves and out of the spotlight. The most I can say is that the people in question violated a bunch of state and federal laws to cut corners and has tried to tarnish my reputation and career to keep me silent.

Then I got a new job - which I love and I’ve now been at for almost 3 months. But adjusting has been hard since it’s a lot more physically demanding than initially thought. Imagine walking 3-5 miles a day in an itty bitty work space. But that’s life as an esthetician. Then there is the holidays, which I’ve always struggled with since it brings up bad memories for me. Mostly family drama that will probably never get resolved thanks to Father Time.

But thankfully I have some good news - I’m FINALLY moving out!

I’ll be moving with Tom (my boyfriend of almost 7 years) at his condo. It’s right around the corner from a major highway, the people in the complex are all really nice, and I’ll be able to access public transportation. Plus, Tom works from home and is able to drive me to and from work when needed. This will cut the travel to and from work from 45 minutes…to 15-17 minutes. So yay for not wasting gas and time!

I’m beyond excited to finally start this new chapter of my life. The one downside is that I have to wait until after Christmas to start the moving process. But because of all of this I’ve had next to no free time to write and all of my creative energy has been zapped from my body. I know I had someone a while back ask me to write an Eddie x chronically ill!Reader fic - and I REALLY want to write it - but I just don’t have the time right now. Plus I can’t cerise what path to go with it. I’ll probably shoot them a DM and let them know that

1. I’m still interested

And

2. For forgiveness because OH GOD I’m so sorry for being a flake.

But yeah; the bottom line is that I’m going on a hiatus.

I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I want to at least get settled in with my living arrangements and with my job. Obviously the legal shit will stay off of here unless I get the okay to spill the tea. But for now I need time and space to get my life back in order.

I love you all and I’ll do my best to keep in touch with all of my besties on here.

Sarah Jane

(Tagging said besties to let them know that I’m not dead @reddeadgirl666 @ali-r3n @maladaptive-day-dreams @chrrymunson @lovinvane @woahlifehitsyahuh @mothymunson @kurtsroo )

[queenburd]

Next installment of “narrator fusses about making a body for way too long”! This one has protagonist enrichment!!

Free Roam / character creation page

Stanley opens the door into the break room and whoops excitedly.

“Mm? Oh, I see you found this old room. Yes, it was initially going to be in place of the lounge, but then I decided it was a bit too cluttered,” the narrator offers in a distracted tone. Stanley’s already bolted to the long countertop along the length of one of the walls, and is excitedly opening all the cabinets.

They are doing something a little different today. The narrator had discussed it with him when he had blinked his eyes open in his office.

“Stanley, do you remember how I was considering an idea?” The voice continued while he nodded. “Well, I’ve decided to proceed with it, but it is definitely going to take a while. I want to get all the details right, you see. I’m not sure how well I’m going to be able to focus on the story at the same time.”

He’d sounded quite sheepish about it. Stanley had waved it off.

[ That’s understandable. Do you want to take a break and work on it instead? ]

“Well, yes,” he had responded, “but I know it’s not ideal for you. I don’t want you getting bored, you know. Yes, I’m well aware you’re fully capable of entertaining yourself,” he added a bit tersely as Stanley rolled his eyes and began to load up Solitaire on the computer. “But I am talking several hours at a time, here! You need enrichment!”

[ I’m not a dog. ]

“No, you’re a person, and one very important to me. So… look, I’m going to give you a lot of trust for a while, okay?”

What did that mean?

“I’m…. I’m going to unlock just about all the doors in the office building. Don’t go zipping about just yet!” He had added as Stanley had leapt to his feet, astonished. “I know you’re excited, but really, there isn’t much exactly new. Lots of the same textures, map layouts, you understand.”

Yes, but it was different! It was open world!

He had sighed. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” Had come the little grumble, but the fellow had continued, quite assured with his decision. “So here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to work on this idea for a few hours. You’re free to look about, explore the nooks and crannies. You might find some rooms that you’d be interested in revisiting, so keep them in mind if so and we can discuss it later. Now, this is important,” he said sternly.

Stanley was listening! He was! He was bouncing on his feet a bit, but he was listening and prepared to work with any stipulations the narrator expressed.

“While I’m going to keep an eye on you, I’m obviously going to be distracted. Please do not do anything one would normally consider life threatening or dangerous. If you find something of concern, just make some kind of noise, clap your hands or something, to alert me. If you get bored or lost, again, just get my attention.”

Stanley nodded.

“Good. If at some point you’ve decided you’ve had enough, just alert me, and we can do the story. I highly doubt I’m going to finish this in one sitting.”

Stanley had shot a thumbs up at the ceiling with a grin. There had been a little chuckle, which made his chest warm.

“I’m glad you’re so excited. Alright, off you pop, there you are. Have fun!”

And all the doors had swung open, and Stanley was off like a shot.

He had gone up and down stairwells, had walked through offices with blue carpeting and green carpeting, had found some monitors with strange editing programs open on them that he felt best not to touch. He had looped through hallways and file rooms and storage rooms. He had even found the Adventure Line, at one point, sprawling along the floor and up the wall to inaccessible spaces.

He’s found restrooms. Conference rooms. Even found a security office at one point, displaying some of the halls on the floor. It’s exciting! There’s material here that’s somewhat familiar but not at all a part of the main game. Here’s the slideshow room from when the Narrator decided to work on new endings. Here’s a room full of Jim buttons!

Stanley is really excited about this room, though. Because there are snacks.

Now, Stanley doesn’t need to eat, or sleep, or hydrate. He doesn’t need a bathroom, or to shower (though god, the thought of one is amazing) or anything a real person needs. That said, they are enjoyable experiences. They spice up life. He’s convinced the narrator to get the vending machine functioning from time to time, and the fellow has gone so far as to hide bits of change around the office in desk drawers and the like to make it a game. So when Stanley sees the upper cabinets stocked with chips and crisps and instant ramen, he gives another whoop of delight.

There’s water bottles too! And another vending machine in here. And tables to sit at, and the cabinets under the counter even have plastic utensils. Oh he is gonna be in here a while, he can already tell.

“Well someone’s certainly cheerful!” The voice chuckles at him as he hauls his snacks onto a table. “Do be careful not to give yourself a stomachache.”

He settles down happily in a chair and digs in.

Now that he’s not exploring, he listens to the fellow quietly muttering in the background. Neither of them like the silence, you see, so while the narrator isn’t paying close attention to his protagonist, he’s still easily accessible. Stanley prefers this, and there’s something honestly pleasant (adorable?) about how the fellow talks to himself while he works.

“Mm, yes, I do think I like that shape—oh, no, this color’s all wrong. Blast, should that be smaller? What about, hm bah bah, yes, this!”

Reminds him of the Minecraft house a little. Hearing him mumble distractedly, Stanley can’t help feeling fond. For all the the narrator is a powerful individual who had once thought himself a god, he’s really quite silly.

“I am not!”

Ah, hello. Taking a break?

“Er. Yes, for a moment. Just checking in with you, making sure you haven’t thrown yourself to a ghastly demise or anything.”

Nope, Stanley is enjoying his snacks. How’s the project coming along?

The narrator groans a bit.

That bad, huh.

“I keep doubting every little design choice I make! I—I’m not even sure what I want, do you understand? I keep thinking that I’ll know it when I see it, I’ll be able to tell when it’s just right.”

Yeah but he’d tried that with The Stanley Parable 2, and it hadn’t worked well there either.

The fellow moans dramatically. “It’s hopeless. Why did I think this was a good idea?”

Stanley chews on the chip in his mouth slowly. Can he help? Or is it too much of a surprise?

“I…. Um…”

Oh. Okay, that’s fine. He knows how much the narrator likes to surprise him.

“You… you’re really… you’re really a special kind of person, Stanley.”

He’s going to take that as a compliment.

“It is.” The narrator sighs again, sounding more worn out than anxious. “I suppose… how do you decide what route you want to take when we do the story? Do you start the run with a plan? Do you just wing it? You know the place inside and out. How do you choose what you want?”

Stanley thinks this over.

He’s got a couple ways he goes about it. He’s not always up or in the mindset to deal with longer, more complicated endings like the Confusion Ending, but sometimes it is fun to go on a wild little jaunt. He doesn’t like doing the endings where he dies and he really doesn’t like when the narrator gets upset.

It’s funny to hear him get miffed, that much is true. The Broom Closet offers a few things to Stanley, including privacy, but the narrator’s increasing chatter is what really makes Stanley smile. It may be scripted, but the fellow always puts his all into his performance.

He likes endings where they both get to be happy. He doesn’t base every decision he makes on if the narrator will come out of it pleased, but when he does get to hear the happiness in the fellow’s voice, it makes his whole chest feel light.

Stanley feels his cheeks heat. That… uh. He doesn’t know how helpful that was.

The narrator is quiet, and then he laughs a little, just a small thing full of contentment. “Not very, if I’m honest. But there may be a grain of usefulness to your insight.” He’s clearly chosen to take pity on Stanley and not needle him for being a sap. Small blessings.

Stanley shoves a handful of chips into his mouth and gives a thumbs up. There’s a little noise of disgust.

“Eyuck. Stanley, do wash your hands when you’ve finished in there, I would rather you didn’t get grease on all the office supplies. I’m going to get back to work on this—are you fine on your own for a bit longer?”

Stanley crams another handful of chips into his already full mouth and chews loudly.

“Absolutely ridiculous,” the voice berates. “Fine, fine, enjoy your needless snacks.”

—

The narrator starts with the basics:

Head, torso, two arms and legs. That’s a pretty basic character model structure there. No need to get more complex with wings or extra arms or the like.

Then shapes. Proportions, to make it unique. Stanley is gangly, and he would prefer not to be. He would like a shape with a lower center of balance, so he squashes the whole 3D puppet down. Damn, no, that’s thrown off some of the other parts.

He deletes the head entirely at first. He’ll come back to it, it’s going to be the most difficult and the last thing the narrator needs is to work on something so complex only to utterly wreck it trying to make it proportional. Everyone knows you start with the basics before getting into the details.

So. Something a little shorter and a little broader than his protagonist. That’s manageable. Five fingers on each hand, five toes on each foot—though they’re going in shoes, should that matter? Oh, whatever. He squares the fingers off, on a broad palm. Yes, that looks alright. Good for gripping things.

(Stanley has longer, thinner fingers. His palms look quite soft but his cuticles are a mess.)

He goes out of his way to make sure the fingernails are neat, nearly buffed to a shine. Perfectly serviceable.

Right, don’t get too lost in the details just yet. Devil’s in them, but if he gets into the nitty gritty so early he’ll never get anywhere.

Arms, proportional to torso, check. Torso, proportional to legs—he tweaks at them a bit, teases the shapes into something more solid than Stanley’s lanky form. Check.

Oh, Stanley had wanted to be able to hug him. The narrator hums in thought, and turns up the percentage of fatty tissue on the puppet’s skeleton. There. Quite huggable, he thinks. Better than a bucket, at the very least.

What else, what else?

Oh! A heart!

(Laugh all you like, reader. These are creatures of code, not human beings. But Stanley still has a heartbeat, which races along like a horse on a track, and the noise seems so, so loud to the both of them sometimes. So a heartbeat the narrator must have.)

Okay. Good progress so far. He’s got the shape of a body, its extremities. It looks comfortable. Yes, comfortable, that’s the vibe he’s going for, he thinks. It’s all well and good to present as an elegant, well maintained individual with high standards, but the problem with that is the work he’d have to put into keeping those standards. Too much effort!

So. Comfortable. Huggable. Something that could make Stanley happy.

He… he really wants to make Stanley happy.

He’s getting distracted. He looks at his creation so far, a tangle of limbs and pieces, and nearly scraps it all in a fit of frustration. No, no, that would be counterproductive. It’s just so difficult to know if he’s really on the right track, or if he’s making blunder after blunder.

Why does it matter so much that Stanley like what he sees? Why can’t the Narrator just be content with making something he’s happy with?

He can feel his frustration growing. He takes a break. He talks to his friend.

Stanley likes him. Stanley likes that he’s dramatic, and a bit silly (oh, alright, yes, the both of them are, he’ll admit it). Stanley chooses endings not necessarily to make the narrator happy, but he feels good when he knows he caused it.

Okay. That…

Maybe that’s something the narrator should try to emulate. Maybe he shouldn’t try to intend to make Stanley happy. Maybe he should just hope for it.

Damn, but that’s scary. He’s not the bravest fellow.

Why does Stanley like him? After all this time, all these years, why are they friends? Their personalities definitely don’t mesh well. They push each other around a lot. Force the other to deal with ugly things outside of their comfort zones.

The narrator sighs. For whatever reason, Stanley likes him as he is. Stanley likes him as him.

What does the narrator like about himself? What traits would he like to get across?

He likes his voice. It is his defining trait, after all. It’s British, it’s posh. He’s reminded, quite suddenly, of a line he’s read or heard somewhere—

“Not A southern pansy. THE southern pansy.”

A character, proudly acknowledging the kind of person he was to someone who had tried to judge him. Someone quite comfortable and proud in their skin.

(A character who was not a human, but was considered three very specific things. English, intelligent, and wildly, unapologetically gay. The narrator can relate, he thinks. He’s not human, but he is intelligent, sounds English, and he—well, he isn’t gay, it’s more about the fact he doesn’t have a “gender” per se—look. The example is getting away from him. The point is there’s a lot of parallels.

Including being a bit of a bastard.)

Okay. There’s a source of inspiration.

He wants to be comfortable, and soft. Yes. He can’t pinpoint the exact reasons for wanting this, other than it feels right. He doesn’t want to be sharp angles and rigid lines. He hasn’t been that in ages. That’s the kind of person who doesn’t care about his protagonist, doesn’t compromise. No, no crisp lines.

Which means, he thinks, no suits. Attire will have to be something much more approachable.

God forbid he put his model in jeans, though. Never in a million years.

Something is coming into shape while he works. It’s broad-chested, durable, and still blocky, colors left to the wayside and still without a head, but it feels like he’s on the right track. He does think he sees the shape of himself somewhere in these polygons, like a sculpture sitting inside marble, waiting to be found. Somewhere in there is a well-read, clever, proud man-shaped person that he wants to know.

So, what next?

[asteria7fics]

How did you come up with the idea to make TSOB?

You know, I’m surprised to say that I don’t think I’ve answered this question on Tumblr before!

The short version that I tend to tell people is this: I was bored at work one night, working the closing shift, and I had an epiphany. I thought to myself, “Isn’t it weird that I take so much comfort in terrible characters? Like Agamemnon, and Cartman-… wait a damn minute!”

Seriously, it occurred to me that Agamemnon and Cartman actually had quite a few similarities, and then I realized that Kyle would make an excellent Achilles, and the rest was kind of history.

The long version? Well, how much time have you got?

I can’t really pinpoint the moment when I got really into Greek Mythology, and Classical/Ancient Greece in general, but it’s been an interest of mine for several years now.

I spent hours just exploring Greece in Assasin’s Creed Odyssey (as well as taking detailed notes in the historical tour mode), watched so many YouTube videos, read a great many books, etc.

Reading was actually where my love for the Trojan War in particular began. Idk man, there’s just something about those characters, and that conflict, that I adore.

I could give you a list of contemporary novels I’ve read and really enjoyed, but you didn’t come here for book recommendations ahaha so I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say it was the only thing I read about for like a year.

Fast forward through a really intense k-pop obsession (it’s still a majority of the music I listen to. I’m listening to Ateez as we speak) and I’m in the throes of a new interest. Fucking South Park.

I really did just, get the idea one day. I was around season 15 of my first time watching the show (though I had a ton of stuff spoiled already, hence why I made Heidi and Cartman exes), and I had just started reading fanfiction. I had no intention of actually writing the damn thing, but the more I spitballed ideas with a few select coworkers, the more I realized the thing needed to be written.

Who else but my crazy ass would write this thing, really?

I suppose I should also add another, small piece of inspiration. Right before getting into South Park I actually decided to be surgically sterilized. I won’t go into detail as to why I made that choice, but the idea crossed my mind while developing the story to have a side plot where the adults are losing their minds over all their condoms going missing (because, yah know, they were needed for warfare!) and the whole town gets caught up in this big debate over if the man or the woman has the responsibility to be sterilized, should a cis & straight couple choose to be done having children.

Obviously this would have been a Randy and Sharon heavy debate, and I’m glad I didn’t include it as a proper plot point. In my mind though it does still occur, the kids are just totally oblivious to it. Likewise, the adults are totally oblivious to how ridiculous their kids play war is getting, until of course there are real consequences to the whole thing.

There’s one bit that alludes to it, when Annie has gone to the little girl’s house to discuss getting her Switch back and the girl’s parents are arguing about something they ‘don’t understand’. A fun remnant of a plot point that didn’t quite make it in!

Anyway, I’ve already broken down the story beats and how they correlate with the original text in this post, though if you were wondering where Cartman and Heidi canonically get their inspiration, I like to imagine they binged this show while they were together. It’s actually a pretty entertaining retelling, I would definitely recommend it to a casual enjoyer of Greek Myths!

Wow, that was a lot! If you actually read all of that, thank you!

And thank you for this ask, friend! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Ahh! I love 1084! It’s such a fun, and funky chapter. We’re continuing this trend of staying away from Egghead, long enough now that yeah I doubt we’re cutting back to immediately after we left off. The suspense is palpable. Here though, we advance things in a big way. Bending these parallel stories into intersecting. Already saw it with Blackbeard as we left Egghead but now we’re getting into Sabo & Bonney. I will say that with how Bonney’s role has separated I’m more inclined to believe her role is more with the Revolutionary plot. She had the potential to pick up what Kiku introduced through Wano but Stussy’s done the better job just out of people there. Still have room to see more about Vivi, and that’s who you need to acknowledge here.

Obviously we’re getting some big Nefertari lore. There had to be something behind their family not moving to Mariejois, it came up in Dressrosa. We know Vivi is off in the skies with Morgans and Wapol, but haven’t gotten any details. She’s a total wild card and I’ve always said this long thread could be for her. That said, could just be more of the same song and dance. A flashy diversion. This chapter’s got a lot of people talking about Toki. We like talking about Toki here. Intersecting stories. Bonney’s been propping up the Revolutionary plot on Egghead, is this a way of doing the opposite with this flashback? Especially since my actual favorite part does the same in a big, big way.

Oh my do I love this beat! Mjosgard and all that full-circle goodness with Otohime literally spelling out a huge beat about the freedom of being lower class. This is everything to me. There’s oh so much to say about the conflict here and how it ties into all this big thread of Urashima & Ryokugyu. Propriety being a shackle to Fukaboshi but for the Grand Fleet captains...

Ohhhhhhhh it’s so beautiful it makes my body tremble a little. Look at how vicious Leo looks here! Keep it up little man and you might actually bump off Cabbage for my top spot. Okay that’s gonna be hard but I like my bishies so the fact it’s even close says a lot about Leo. Don Sai is fun too, don’t get me wrong, but I love how Leo instantly has gone full pirate. Dude’s always had a savage side. Never forget the utter, Cindry-grade lack of chill behind “Wow Princess, you’ve really gotten heavier!”

Driving Charlos into the ground is awesome alone. Dude deserves it and I like seeing him suffer. But it’s that same idea. We were already talking about the Grand Fleet. This might be something to do with Robin’s little tease about other relevant stories in the paper. I’d love to see us work in a few more of these concepts, but these two at the Reverie is a big deal. It’s a big beat in this Revolutionary flashback with oodles of potential to intersect back into the main story. Adding reasons to seek out Luffy for a rendezvous. That’s a “stock” I’m definitely gonna take a keen interest in.

Whether we keep going with this story or start pushing back to Egghead after the break is fine. Like I’ve said the longer we stay away the more inclined I am to think we’ll have a big shift when we get back. 

[kaija-rayne-author]

By all that's holy, if you don't want me following you, just block me. Soft blocking can be and usually is ableist.

Don't like it? I don't care. You want to use a double edged sword to 'protect' yourself, go for it. But any guilt you have about it is on you.

I go into more detail on why it's ableist here.

For anyone not wanting to click the link, the essay is below the cut.

Note: I was much more active on Twitter the years ago when I wrote this.

Soft-blocking can be ableist, so what?

ON FEBRUARY 15, 2018 BY Kaija Rayne, updated Dec 29, 2023

I get in so much trouble for this idea. I have people who unfollow me because they tell me I’m being harmful by pointing out that soft-blocking can be ableist.

I have people arguing with me because it’s ‘just what people do’ and no more harmful than ghosting someone in real life.

Spoiler, ghosting someone in real life (unless, obviously and I shouldn’t even have to say it they’re an ACTUAL danger to you) is ALSO HARMFUL, and hurtful too.

Soft blocking can be ableist. I feel it’s actually INHERENTLY ableist simply because it fits the definition of an action which not everyone is going to be able to understand.

If everyone isn’t able then the action that causes harm is inherently ableist.

It really, really is. Whether we like it or want to admit it or not. Whether it’s your favorite choice of ‘protecting yourself’ or not.

It’s harmful, it’s ableist.

Some definitions and terminologies. I’m writing about this phenomenon on Twitter, since that’s the place I’ve seen it most. I'm posting it here because I suspect someone of soft-blocking me.

A follow, on social media is where you click ‘follow’ and you’re able to see that person’s tweets.

An unfollow means you click unfollow so you don’t have to look at the posts anymore.

A ‘mutual’ is a mutual follower, someone who you follow and they follow you back.

A block is where you click ‘block’ and the person you have blocked can no longer see your posts.

First… Soft blocking is the ACTION of hitting the block button on Twitter/Tumblr/Other social media with a mutual or someone who has followed you because you don’t want them following you/seeing your posts.

OR you want them to unfollow you without it being a stink about it.

There are as many reasons in the world to soft-block someone as there are people. SOME few people have reasons that deal with self-protection.

People should ALWAYS protect their mental, physical and emotional health. That is an absolute iron-clad rule. If y’all twist my words as meaning anything other than the ACTUAL words I’m putting on the page, that’s on you.

Oh, and that’s harmful.

Sometimes the methods you use (to protect yourself) harm others. There is really no way of getting around that. It is a fact when it comes to dealing with intersectionally marginalized people. It's just like veganisim actually sheds just as much blood as factory farms (rodents, wild predators, etc.) Farming, especially monoculture farming as is practiced in the west now, isn't bloodless. It can't be.

Second. I think I need to discuss what ableism is.

The simple definition is that it’s discrimination in favor of able-bodied people.

It gets a lot fuzzier when you’re dealing with intersectionally marginalized people, including disabled people.

The deeper definition of ableism is this:

Ableism is the discrimination or prejudice against people who have disabilities. Ableism can take the form of ideas and assumptions, stereotypes, attitudes and practices, physical barriers in the environment, or larger scale oppression. It is oftentimes unintentional and most people are completely unaware of the impact of their words or actions.

Shall we dive even deeper?

We could. We could add on the ideas of privilege to that. Who has more power? Then even deeper, who has more PERCEIVED power.

Have we gone down the rabbit hole yet?

Let me state this unequivocally. Soft-block to your heart’s content. It’s your space, do whatever you want with it. You SHOULD curate your space as you want/need to.

We all should.

Which includes me. When someone I KNOW knows that I have a problem with soft-blocking, AND they do it anyway I’m well within my rights to block and not do business with that person.

For me, that means I won’t read or review their books. I won't buy or reblog their art, I won’t buy their books.

Now, the reason I HAVE to do that is self-care. If they KNOW I have a problem (because it harms me) with that action, then they do it anyway, I CANNOT trust them.

So I’m sure as hell not doing business with them.

I block and blacklist. People don’t like that, but guess what? It’s my space. I make the rules. If that gets me a rep of being a bitch? I can live with that.

You don’t like my rules of treating people decently and trying your best not to harm others in your words and actions?

Of apologizing and owning your shit when you fuck up?

Of respecting boundaries?

I’m not someone you want to work with.

So. Soft-blocking is curating your space as you need to.

I’m not telling you not to do it.

I am saying it’s inherently ableist to do it, if you’re neurotypical or abled. It's likely selfish, if not completely ableist if you're not.

An argument could be made that it’s ableist of me to share how badly it fucks with my head.

To be soft-blocked, I mean. And man, it really really fucks with my head. I'm far from alone on that.

The argument for me being ableist by sharing how badly it messes my head up is that guilt comes into play. By sharing how badly it upsets me, I could (perhaps) technically be putting pressure on people not to soft-block.

I really don’t care if you use a harmful tool to protect yourself. You do you. Your guilt is the price you have to pay for that. I guess that’s too honest for most people though. That's me, pointer outer of uncomfortable truths.

Your guilt is not my problem. It’s not on me (the one being harmed) by your action to absolve you of your guilt.

Hence, it’s a long stretch to call me sharing my feelings and educated opinion on the realities of soft-blocking and the damage it can and has done ableist. I don't buy it at all.

But it could be. A skilled debater or manipulator can make someone absolutely certain the sky is green with purple polka-dots.

The only thing that makes it not ableist for me to do that is that it’s also a self-defense mechanism against ableist harm. It’s selfish, but it’s not ableist in that scenario.

Life is not, much as many people would love to think it is, a black and white construct of right vs wrong.

For me soft-blocking is wrong. It causes far more harm than it could ever ease.

For others, it’s a no big deal, it’s an ‘I just don’t want to confront this person enough to tell them I don’t want to follow them anymore.’

For others, soft-blocking is a self-protective mechanism IN ITSELF. They feel safer soft-blocking than they do just unfollowing.

(I don’t pretend to understand that, the safest way to not see people’s tweets and to signal you want nothing to do with them is to either unfollow or block them. Period.)

Now. The reason I’m talking about soft-blocking and sharing my reactions is because it can cause PTSD trigger episodes. (For the love of all the gods, triggered does not mean uncomfortable or upset. It's a specific mental illness term.)

The number of responses I get to this subject anytime I talk about it, saying something along the lines of ‘that happens to me too!’ mean I’m by far and away not the only one this practice is affecting badly.

Harmfully.

If someone is soft-blocking as an act of ‘fuck you for saying it’s ableist’ (I’ve had this happen a lot) it’s kinda obvious what the motivation is, you know? You wanna take your ball home and never play again, too?

It happens most from people who are on the younger side, FWIW. I guess I can’t hold it against them. Their brains aren’t done growing yet. (Seriously, medical fact, your brain isn’t mature as far as action/repercussions/risk assessment until you’re around 25, go ahead and look it up if you want. It’s why your car insurance is higher than mine.)

So what about what I said earlier? What about privilege? How does that play in?

I look white (I’m not, but I sure do look it) so I automatically have more privilege than anyone who is visibly not-white.

But when both people look white, that privilege is removed.

I’m unemployed, (I work for myself, and make very little money) so anyone who is employed or gets a regular disability payment is automatically more privileged than I am.

If you’re healthy, have a good income, if you own your home vs rent, there are SO many socioeconomic and anthropological factors that can go into your actual level of privilege that it pays, I think, to be cautious in how you act/react and what actions you use to protect yourself.

In the age of ‘me too’ and allegations of sexual assault being everywhere, soft-blocking is a viable self-protection tool for many. But like any tool, it can be misused and that particular tool has really sharp edges that can hurt both the wielder and the one it’s wielded against.

(I’m a sexual assault survivor, so I can almost see why it would work for people. I don’t quite, though. There's still that whole, it's safer to block them thing.)

I’m trying to educate on the results of a harmful behavior that has and does cause damage to people. Including me.

I still don’t agree with people insisting that soft-blocking is harmless. Because it just isn’t.

An anecdote from my own life. If you’ve been following my blog for a while you may recognize it.

Last October (2018, I think?) I was repeatedly soft-blocked by someone I had more privilege than.

I did NOT understand I was being soft-blocked. I didn’t even know it was possible. I wasn’t able to understand why someone would do something that (seems silly to me) when blocking is much more effective.

Let me explain something, Twitter is a really weird place for me. It has followed people for me in the past, and unfollowed people who have sworn they didn’t soft-block me. I’ve had people tell me it’s blocked people for them, people they NEVER would have blocked.

It goes pear-shaped ALL THE TIME. So how is someone supposed to know if they are being soft-blocked? Tumblr is broken so often it's an in-community joke.

The problem that happened occurred because this person DID NOT want me to follow them, but they didn’t block me. We had mutuals in common so I would often see their name and I really liked what they had to say. I admired their bravery.

In my naivety, I wanted (because I do have more followers) to boost their voice and opinion.

So I’d see a tweet that I liked a lot, I’d boost it, then realize that (I thought, because I didn’t at the time understand soft-blocking) my follow had dropped because of Twitter weirdness.

I clicked refollow at least three times before I dim-wittedly clued in (that whole, I was NOT able to tell I was being soft-blocked thing) that it was intentional.

I’ve owned up and apologized for my perceived mistakes there, and for my actual ones. But do you see that if that person had said to ANY of our mutuals to drop a word in my ear that “Hey, you’re making X uncomfy with the refollows” I would have stopped and NOT caused the problems it did? If they’d just blocked me, all the pain could’ve been avoided. Including my pain at not understanding what was happening, and my pain at having caused harm because I didn’t get it.

Instead, the person chose to use soft-blocking instead of communication or blocking.

How did that ACTUALLY help?

It didn’t. It harmed. It harmed me, and I inadvertently harmed THEM because I did NOT understand I was being soft-blocked. I was, at that point in time, UNABLE to understand it. Making it an ableist act.

For what it’s worth, I now understand it when it happens. I absolutely do NOT like it because it messes with my perception of reality, but I DO understand what is probably happening.

How many people out there don’t, though? Who are you hurting when you use this methodology? Is it worth it? (In some cases it absolutely will be, but you need to ask yourself that question.)

I’m not the only one this affects. There are so many people that don’t even know you CAN soft-block. Much less that people use it so flagrantly and without regard to the harm they are most definitely doing with it.

So what about power? Someone with more followers than me has more power. Someone with more money, a better job, better connections, they all have more power than me.

Someone who can work a traditional job vs having to work from home is also in a position of more power, or someone who gets a regular income in any form. They all have more power than me. So we need to be aware of our level of ACTUAL power as well when it comes to our actions.

But all of these things (and probably more that I can’t think of) play a part in the interconnected strands of how people interact with one another on Twitter and other social media outlets.

ALL of these things are things that make soft-blocking ableist if you have MORE power, and selfish, perhaps, if you have the same amount or less.

So what. So it’s selfish. Big whoop. There aren’t any Twitter/Tumblr police. Obviously, or we wouldn’t have any Nazis.

So you feel guilty about using a double-edged sword to protect yourself, one that can and does hurt people.

Big whoop. Again, your price to pay. If the cost is worth it to you, fine. Do it.

If it isn’t, then don’t, just unfollow or block instead.

If it’s ME you’re dealing with? I guarantee you that I will react better to a straight up unfollow or block than I will to you soft-blocking me and making me doubt.

Because to me, and many people LIKE me. That’s exactly what that does.

It’s a minor form of gaslighting.

Intent does not excuse the harm you cause.

It’s my intent to educate about the damage of soft-blocking. I’ve been told I’m hurting people by pointing this out.

I can’t pretend to really understand how it DOES. But I trust that people are telling me the truth that it hurts.

I’m sorry for that.

Truth often does hurt? It’s the precursor to growth and awareness.

Me pointing out that soft-blocking harms others is no different than whoever first noticed and pointed out that we needed ramps for disabled people to access public buildings.

I’ve been wondering the past day if those people, the ones who fought for that kind of accessibility, have gotten as much flack and push back and accusations as I have about this issue.

Probably. But progress is never made by being silent.

I could go on with this and try to unpack how it’s less ableist for another disabled person to soft-block another disabled person, because if it’s done out of self-protection, at least there’s a justifiable reason for the harm they’re inflicting.

But again, intent and reasoning doesn’t change the harm they’ve done. Intent never excuses harm.

For any of my mutuals? Straight up unfollow me.

I unfollow for unfollow. You unfollow me, I unfollow you, always. Period. And that’s really the end of it. I will absolutely block you if I figure out that you've soft blocked me. Because it harms me.

I don’t follow many ‘real people’ on Twitter, at the time I’m writing this I have 515 accounts that I follow. More than half of those are images/news/weather etc accounts.

They aren’t people I talk to. I follow 4 people who don’t follow me back (they’re all authors, FWIW, some of my favourites.)

Everyone does social media in the way that best works for them.

If people don’t like the way I do things. They are well within their rights to not have anything to do with me.

Just like I’m well within my rights to do what I need to do to protect myself.

Which includes blocking people I’ve figured out have soft-blocked me.

Like it or not, the action harms me (and a lot of other people) by making us question our minds/memories/thoughts/etc.

That’s why it’s ableist and should be used with care, if at all.

[which-hospital]

Too Much, Too Young and Switzerland (16/09/23)

I feel like half my episode posts open with a “this one is so late” disclaimer but this must be nearly a month…the thing is that I don’t even think my thoughts will be any more developed than they’d be if I posted this the day the episodes aired. Also, I think I’ve gotten so used to not posting about episodes that for some reason my brain has become embarrassed about expressing my thoughts which is a weird feeling I’m trying to get rid of by acknowledging it right away in my pre-post notes.

I didn’t really like the first of the of these episodes, it felt like it was focussed mostly on dealing with storylines I don’t like or dealing with storylines I had been enjoying absolutely terribly, but Switzerland was brilliant (though I do think it should’ve come first).

Too Much, Too Young

Can Faith be gone now? Every time I feel like we’re finally about to lose her and this storyline, she manages to hold on somehow. At the very least, can she be off in rehab for a couple months? I get that a lot of people have started to not like her from all of this but I’ve been not liking her since before I even properly picked the show back up and I just want a break from her at this point. Honestly, I’m expecting her to make an annoying and immediate comeback once the hiatus is over and we get a time skip.

I didn’t think the Donna in prison thing really made sense but I didn’t entirely mind it until I realised that was supposed to be her exit from the show?? Already??? I expected that she’d be in prison but still in the show and then she’d get out somehow but no, she’s genuinely gone to prison. I’m really disappointed about this honestly - in a few months on the show, Donna became such a great part of the whole team and her storyline was interesting even before the car crash, it feels like such a waste of her character and the whole storyline and that’s all I really have to say on it.

Interesting details with Jodie and her nan but I wonder if there is more to it than what she said in the pub. For all that we’re learning about Max now, there’s still quite a lot we don’t know.

Something I’ve actually really been wanting to point out in this episode that I’m surprised no one else seems to have mentioned or noticed: Sah saying that Teddy “says it’s fine”. That means that they’ve spoke and while Sah thinks that Teddy isn’t past how he feels about it and while Sah doesn’t seem to be past their guilt, he has ~kind of- forgiven them?? It’s not the “let’s get back together and I’m sorry for pushing you away” forgiveness that Paige got (and which is definitely not actually healthy for their relationship), but he has at least tried to pretend “it’s fine” which is interesting to me.

Switzerland

I have less to say about this episode on a general level because I don’t think anything I could say would really be worth saying. It’s obviously great and incredibly sad, I don’t need to say that, it’s obvious.

I also don’t need to say that Di Botcher and Robert Pugh were amazing in this, because that’s been said a million times.

I don’t know what else to say, even three weeks out I still feel like all my thoughts on this episode are a bit useless. I think my favourite scene was the one where Jan starts asking about everything she’s got to do after he dies when Gethin has had the first drink. I just really liked how it was written and performed.

I don’t wanna make this post about Teddy because this episode very much wasn’t about him as much as it involved him but a girl has to hold off her inevitable start-of-uni induced autistic burnout somehow so here’s just the broad strokes of my Teddy thoughts, please ignore: It’s kind of always been obvious to me that he became a paramedic to be like Jan but now that’s explicit canon. This episode really leant into something I think I kind of alluded to me picking up on in my early posts about Aftermath, Teddy as Son 2.0. Specifically, “he’s a good lad, he’ll look after you” and Jan asking what she should tell Teddy after she asks what she should tell Ross and the ways that the answers to those questions are different. Lots of thoughts and I really don’t wanna go on breaking down every line (and all the ways I’m absolutely projecting) but yeah, it really added to how that argument felt for me. Equally too many thoughts about how this episode and that argument between Teddy and Jan fits into how Teddy’s like maturity level (I guess) has been dealt with in recent episodes but I equally don’t want to break the scenes down too much in that area.

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 23)

Well this one was mostly about a really depressingly heavy conversation.

As always, spoilers under the cut!

So, the two-month jump in time here, from August to October. This was something that took me a long time to decide to do. I tried many times to start a chapter that would pick up right where the last left off, but it was just a situation where nothing much HAPPENED for a couple of in-universe months.

I could have added more fluff here, because the slow development of the relationship is really the only change that IS occurring, but again, I was trying to get a major publisher to buy this so I had to keep it under a certain word count and make sure the plot wasn’t TOO slow. So instead I went with a little domestic montage to show the comfortable little routine they have, and how Teru is taking care of things like cooking and washing wigs while Rei takes care of him by writing and producing the album. I also used this scene to show how Chizuru fits into that dynamic, doing laundry and taking care of Rei’s income from his more mainstream music.

We also get an argument between Rei and Chizuru. I sort of wish I’d gone into this more, but essentially I think she’s annoyed that Rei won’t take better care of himself and thereby sort of creates more work for her. It’s partly genuine concern for him but partly purely selfish—but not really in a bad way. As she’ll tell Teru later in the chapter, she’s ready to move on, but Rei makes it hard by refusing to move on or even accept his situation in a lot of ways. But Chizuru deserves to be able to move on, even if Rei can’t.

THAT SAID, she’s sort of going after the wrong thing here, and I wish I’d made that a little clearer. I think Chizuru sort of has this idea that, in general, DOING something is better than working with the status quo, and so if any new treatment or anything is suggested, she wishes Rei would try it… while I think Rei is both traumatized enough by hospitals that he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s absolutely necessary or guaranteed to help, and also afraid that changing anything might actually result in things getting worse. (This is VERY much one of those areas where Rei is just like me… I really don’t like the idea of doing ANY elective medical procedure or taking medicine that’s not life-saving… like, I’ve never been on the Pill, and I won’t even consider something like LASIK because of the tiny, tiny risk, so obviously anything more serious like the options mentioned here would be an obvious HELL NO from me.)

ANYWAY. Chizuru is concerned that Rei doesn’t really take his pain medication a lot of the time, but I think she’s partly being ignorant. I did a lot of research on chronic pain, and especially on traumatic brachial plexus injuries (which you can Google if you want the depressing details) and in a lot of cases medication doesn’t really work (which Teru sort of acknowledges internally here). And on top of not actually eliminating the pain, you can of course become addicted, and I also think Rei just prefers to have his mind completely clear, to not interfere with his creativity. So while SOME of the things he does are definitely more than a little self-destructive, not taking very strong prescription painkillers that don’t actually work all that well is not actually a terrible choice.

Anyway, Rei makes Chizuru carry their stuff “because she’s so worried about him”… their relationship is super interesting to me and I wish I’d need able to go into it in more detail! Feel free to explore in fanfic etc. ;)

The next important scene is during the break at rehearsal, when Teru invites Rei to have lunch with the band, but of course he refuses, so Teru goes to buy him something to eat and Seika, the only one who can see what’s going on here, tells him that he really does need to tell Minori, even though he shouldn’t have to come out on anyone’s timeline but his own, because his relationship IS affecting the band at this point.

Seika says “sleeping with”—which is the norm to HIM, an allosexual gay man. But Teru and Rei ARENT having sex, and I really wish I’d made the ace-spectrum stuff more clear because some reviewers have seemed to think that it’s because of Rei’s disability and I think it’s not? It’s self esteem, partly, which in Rei’s case stems from disability, but also just that… they’re fine at this point with not doing any more than what they are? Some people like to take it slow and that’s ok!

Still, the people who were kind of expecting a steamy romance novel probably collectively lose their shit here. I’m really sorry I called it romance….

Anyway! There’s a little more arguing over Saki’s song and then, after Rei goes to sleep, Teru gets a call from Chizuru. I think at this point, the argument in the morning has kind of reminded her that she is ready to stop being Rei’s platonic life partner or whatever… but she still worries about him living off “alcohol and painkillers and no dinner”. I think she just wants Teru to take over so she doesn’t HAVE to worry, because she does want to know that Rei’s ok. She just doesn’t want to be throne in charge of keeping him that way.

So she asks Teru to meet her, and basically dumps all of Rei’s medical records on him. There’s a lot going on in this scene, and a lot of it kind of hinges on the limitations of modern medicine, which of course harkens back to all of those ignorant “This horribly disfigured character had plastic surgery and now looks completely normal” fanfics. I knew that one of the questions my readers would have was why Rei wouldn’t at least have done as much as he could to try to restore his appearance, and the short answer, provided here by Chizuru, is that really anything less than perfect wouldn’t have been good enough for him. He still wouldn’t look “normal”, so to him there’s no point in being LESS disfigured, unless “less” is “not at all”. Chizuru understands this, I think, but she doesn’t agree with it.

She also offhandedly says that Rei could “hire a chauffeur if he wanted to”, which I think shows that she DOESN’T really understand all of the psychological damage that the accident did. It frustrates her that because SHE has been able to move on after also losing a boyfriend that night, she thinks that Rei should also be able to “get over” certain things… again, even though she probably understands academically at least that it’s not that easy.

The last thing she mentions here as something Rei could do but won’t is amputating his paralyzed arm. This is something that I actually considered for the last couple of chapters, when they meet again after four years apart, but the reason I decided against it is because, again, it isn’t really guaranteed to actually help anything. The pain from that particular injury is essentially phantom pain. The nerves have basically been completely severed, so the pain comes from signals being sent and nothing coming back, so the brain says HOLY FUCK SOMETHING’S REALLY WRONG. Amputating the limb wouldn’t fix those nerves or the phantom pain, so the best it could do is, as Chizuru says, maybe alleviate some neck pain by eliminating dead weight. But I don’t think Rei would see that as a good enough trade-off to losing his arm (and losing any hope of some miracle treatment down the line, which is extremely unlikely, but I do think he has that stubborn little bit of optimism about him as well).

All of that is a very, very short passage in the book, but I thought it was really important to establish both that yes, there were things that Rei COULD do but simply chose not to, but also that there were reasons why, to him, those weren’t good options.

After this, Chizuru talks about her own past. She also lost a boyfriend, Aeternum’s bassist Taka, in the accident, and sort of ended up with Rei as a sort of antagonistic life partner because they were both the only survivors. In Chizuru’s case, she wasn’t even in the car, but went up to Sendai with Taka’s mother and ended up staying. She says that the four who died all had families who came for them, but that no one came for Rei. 

I didn’t really get to go into it at all, but I have a whole backstory for Rei’s family. He grew up in a farming family (which in Japan does NOT mean poor; if you own enough land to farm you’re local royalty), but was the youngest of MANY brothers and while I wouldn’t call Rei “effeminate” necessarily he was more into music and art than physical labor. Since his family had other heirs who were more aligned with what they thought a male child “should” be, he pretty much lost contact with them when he moved to Tokyo on his own at 16. He does HAVE living relatives, but no one who would’ve been contactable at the time.

I also mentioned specifically here that he would’ve been in the hospital for over a year, which I think is important to establish both his extreme dislike of hospitals and how long it’s taken him to re-adjust to “normal” life.

Japanese hospitals treat patients like prisoners and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.

ANYWAY. There’s a lot packed into this scene I guess, and I’m not sure I did the best job of conveying it all to readers who might not already have the background. I’m really just reminded of how much I love Rei and how writing him is always one giant breath of catharsis.

[nolightsinthedark]

As someone who works for a company that deals with a similar type of public reporting, this is how you make a convincing sounding fake report to use up there resources.

1) provide a very generic sounding fake name of a person you want to “report” that doesn’t sound too fake ie try Rachel Smith vs Jane Doe. These are also reports on teachers, so you can probably get away with just a last name as well! More early school teachers are women so use traditionally female sounding names.

2) if they ask you for a location, provide a generic one. I recommend looking up a school district with a lot of schools in it before hand and give the district name. A parent who doesn’t know their own kid’s school is less believable than maybe an overly involved uncle/aunt so go that route if needed.

3) have a specific and actionable complaint. You specifically saw/heard something concerning from said subject. Your nephew brought home an assignment about x and you’re concerned. Make it plausible and make it something they can do something about. Going to big here is what is going to turn your report from plausible to hogwash.

4) remain anonymous, insist you’re worried about the offending teacher retaliating against your kid, but! And here is the key, provide an email if they ask for a point of contact. Cases with contact information from the reporter are more likely to be investigated than ones with none. Obviously, use a fake email, and use a NEW one. If you do this multiple times, use new and different accounts. Don’t make it jesus123 and Jesus124 they will just ignore all of those once they catch on. Also use a new fake name each time you make a new account. People can see the name you made in emails and they will catch on.

5) if you’re still on the phone at this point, use this time to wax poetically about your concerns. Ask questions! Parrot talking points on tv. You’re goal now is to keep this person on the phone as long as possible. Don’t use memes or jokes, you want to sound genuine. Generally these people cannot hang up on you if you are not being hostile. Repeat questions, ask for clarification. Ask what’s going to happen to your report, explain your concern again.

6) now if things have gone REALLY well, you’re off the phone, but you receive an email asking for more details about your report, or giving you an update or whatever, this is where you shine. Reply with very long winded difficult to understand and difficult to read responses. Write things down in your worst cursive writing and take a picture of it with poor lighting and send them a “written statement” via email (actual things I have received). The number of times I’ve had to read a 3 page email that could have been one sentence written from text to speech with 0 punctuation has truly ruined my day. This is your goal. Don’t wait more than 5 days to respond, and keep responding as long as you get responses. They will probably eventually stop reaching out once they realize you aren’t going to give them the info they need. And if you get REALLY lucky, you might get the email of a specific person and not a group inbox, in which case, spread that shit around! That is the time for spam. Having to remake someone’s email because it ended up on Reddit and is now so filled with spam it’s useless is a MASSIVE time waster.

7) and repeat! However, don’t use the same name or complaint. Avoid using the same unique phrases if you can. Once they realize you’re a joke report, they will be on the look out if you use anything too unique or specific phrases. We once were able to catch a guy fucking with us because he kept using the phrase “my redneck wife” so keep that in mind.

If you’re doing phone calls, wait a little bit between calls, partially so you can avoid getting the same person and being recognized and partially to avoid having your number screened. In fact, spoof it if you know how with a local area code.

Best of luck! And if all goes well, they will spend all of their time and money looking into people and problems that don’t exist!

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡