#obviously all my hopes lie with buddie

[purgatory-jar]

ARE WE CELEBRATING OR ARE WE CELEBRATING

the face of a man who has had a huge ass epiphany about being a disaster bi (affectionate).

How are we all doing????

*

Want something like this? Commission me here: x

[unyandere]

YANDERE CLASSMATE X READER WHO SECRETLY SHIPS HIM WITH ANOTHER CLASSMATE

Tw: bad English, not really good (sorry), shipping, kinda chaotic to be honest, people making assumptions

Want some more unyandering in your life? Here’s the MASTERPOST for you ✨✨

You were nomming at your pencil while looking at those two.

They were two of your classmates, two not too bad looking guys who just looked too close to be just friends.

When they arrived at school they held hands, during break they shared snacks and even during gym class they were always close, helping each other out.

There was only one reason for two guys to do such close contact activities without making weird comments, you thought: they must have been lovers.

For how much time, though, you did not know.

In the meanwhile one of the guys you were looking at was sweating, noticing your oh so lovely staring as he dreamed of you, who maybe were looking at him because of his handsomeness, maybe asking him out.

Well, at least he hoped you were looking at him, but you could also be looking at… that other guy.

He was only close to that guy because he offered the perfect cover for taking photos of you: he wasn’t too big so, whenever your Yandere wanted to take photos with you in the background, he just had to position his friend close to you and shoot the photo.

Obviously, it was hard being his friend, he was clingy, kinda annoying and always forgot his food so, to keep up the charade, your Yandere classmate always had to give him food, trinkets and whatnot.

But, if he was somehow an obstacle that your Yandere classmate had to overcome in order to get to you, well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be a problem to *dispose* of him… even eternally.

If possible, though, he would have preferred to not have to use such drastic measures.

One day, your Yandere classmate, still in doubt about your attraction to him or his “friend”, decided that he had to approach you.

He took his chance when he saw you searching for your pencil that had fallen under your desk.

He took the pencil, gave it to you and nonchalantly asked: “I often see you looking at my friend and me… Is there anything you wanted to ask to either of us?” He put the emphasis on ‘Me’ hoping to get asked out, but you just laughed.

“Oh yeah, I just wanted to say that you guys are really really cute together! But, if it’s not too personal, for how much time have you two been together?” You asked innocently with a bright smile.

Your Yandere classmate felt as if the world Collapsed on him…

You couldn’t be serious…

He tried to recompose himself and smiled forcefully.

“My… what now? We are just friends!” He exclaimed, fake laughing.

“Oh come on, man!” You patted him on his shoulder “I know what you are, ya can’t lie to me!”

In his head, your Yandere classmate was just… kinda desperate.

This was way worse than you having a crush on his friend.

“No, really, I’m not into him!” He said as He tried to explain himself.

You smiled at him, trying to look as trustworthy as possible.

“You don’t have to pretend to be straight with me, man! I’m not homophobic or anything like that!” You tried to confort him “I really really support your relationship with him! If you need anyone to talk to if you have… ya know… problems with other people laughing at you… just come to me! I’ll mess them up so badly they will never dare to look at you or your partner again!”

Now, your Yandere classmate would be kinda touched by your being a really decent human being if it wasn’t that you were kinda very wrong.

Like, extremely wrong.

Like, you couldn’t be further from the truth.

So, he looked at you, showed a pained smile and said “You got it wrong… he is not my partner…”

And so you launched him THE STARE.

“He is… your side-chick, no… that’s for girls… side-buddy?” You asked, kinda shocked.

Your Yandere Classmate was losing hope in all of humanity the more you spoke.

He sighed “no, no he isn’t my side-buddy… I am in no way in love with him, to be more honest, I would prefer to eat a thousand ghost chilly peppers while drinking hot sauce in a Mexican restaurant than to even share a single kiss with him”

You looked at him “Damn man, I know you kinda look like you are in the closet, and the closet is made of see trough glass, but you don’t have to mask your love so much! I already told you! I accept you and your partner and I will do my best to help you two to have a long peaceful and happy relationship with no homophobes able to annoy you two lovebirds!”

He sighed and looked at you “I don’t love him, I love you”

You laughed at him and patted him on his shoulder “sure thing pal… oh wait! You need someone to act as you “cover”?! Oh yeah that must be what you’re asking me! And my answer is ‘Sure thing man’! Anything to help you two lovebirds to get together!”

He blinked at you, confused “my… “cover”?” He repeated slowly.

You nodded at him while laughing “yeah, your cover! So that you can fake having a girlfriend while being able to date your prince in shining armour, and your parents won’t suspect a thing!”

At that point, he just… kinda gave up on making you think he wasn’t in love with his friend.

There was no way you’d ever believe him and so he accepted the “cover girlfriend thingy”.

[fhrlclln]

afterlife buddy | jason mendoza

SUMMARY -> your lonely life doesn't end on earth, but it reaches the afterlife. luckily, you have jason, right? even though he has his soulmate in the good place.

jason mendoza x fem! reader

masterlist

GENRE -> nsfw/smut

WARNINGS -> unprotected p in v, gentle sex, emotional hurt, confessions of feelings, mentions of drugs & smoking

WC -> 3.8k

a/n: writing his character is literally the hardest thing i’ve done lmaoooo. he’s so unique that i actually fear i didn’t embodied him accurately so warning he’s a little ooc!! (in my view) and i feel like jason is a great smoke buddy lmao. hope y'all like this!

likes, comments and reposts are greatly appreciated !! <3

enjoy !!

being dead sucked.

that’s what you are thinking right now as you lie on your bed alone in your room. smoking a vape pen that janet had miraculously given you in a split second the moment you curiously asked if you could have one discreetly. well, maybe that’s one good thing about being in the afterlife… you won’t pay for your vape juices anymore. you had been in “the good place” or the afterlife for about a week. at first, you knew you weren’t supposed to be here. there was nothing that you could think of. you did something perfect to earn your place in this “heaven,” as michael had broadly said when your eyes opened and you were in that waiting room.

maybe being dead didn't really sucked. maybe you were just kind of disappointed, really. as you were welcomed into the good place, the only thing michael had said that had maybe upseted you was in fact, you apparently don't have a soulmate.

which... made you ponder for a moment how in the world did it come to that? back in your life on earth, you were always alone, in a sense. you always thought that everything ended in every relationship you had, that maybe it was just destiny leading you to your soulmate. that maybe your special someone was coming to you at any point in your dreadful life back on earth. yet, being dead now, you had thought that maybe your soulmate was here as well.

which, unfortunately, not as well.

michael had put it in a light and gentle explanation that rarely people wouldn't have a soulmate. sporadic it is, as he puts it to you in a nauseating but sympathetic tone that you somehow loathed. all you could now do was put on a smile and nod in understanding and eventually move on because you're dead, after all. and maybe the worst part of being dead was after michael had explained to you that you're all alone in a good place. after the opening orientation, he introduced you to the many people in the neighborhood and their soulmates. you were introduced to eleanor and chidi, then to tahani and her soulmate, the silent monk jianyu.

or rather... jason mendoza.

a lot of things happened after your first day in the good place. you obviously were self-aware that you weren't supposed to be here. things did start to get weird after tahani's welcoming party for the whole neighborhood and the incident in the heart of the town. you thought for a moment that it might be you who was causing the unexplained glitches happening, and that's when you met another soul who also thinks they aren't supposed to be here either, eleanor shellstrop. after that, that's when you met jason; he as well wasn't supposed to be in a good place either.

your mouth feels dry, and even in the afterlife, you still get cottonmouth from overusing your puffs. this is torture. you think to yourself as you sit up, wondering if you should have agreed to be in chidi's ethics class. you don't really care if you are going to be sent to the bad place. where did you even belong, really?

you close your eyes, dropping your vape pen on your chest as you let out a tired sigh. you reel into the silence of your home, the dimness of the room shielding away the light, making it feel like you are back in your own lonely home on earth. the overwhelming feeling is still there, it never goes away. but your moment of loneliness is interrupted when you hear the front door open loudly.

"i'm not interested, eleanor. please." you immediately say before the visitor can say something.

"hey! cool, you have a vape!" your eyes shot open to see jason come in, dressed in his cream monk clothes. there's a grin spread across his face as he points to your vape pen. "can i take a hit?"

"oh, it's you." you chuckled, and he seemed puzzled at your acknowledgment towards him.

"why? is there another jason here!?" he says, looking around quickly, which makes you laugh out loud.

"here." you sit up, handing him your vape, and he immediately takes it from your hands, sitting next to you. "there's no other you, jason. it's only you." you reassure him, no matter how dumb it sounds.

"good!” he takes a puff, then sighing out the vapor in complete relaxation. “but having another me would be so dope, dude. imagine, if they find out i’m not supposed to be here, then i’ll turn the other jason in so i won’t go to the bad place.”

“that sounds like a plan. but you’ll turn him in?” you raise your brow as he takes another hit.

“yeah, homie! if i turn him in, it means i did something good… so, technically i did something good!” he smiled widely, you chuckled, shaking your head. witnessing him be himself was actually a refreshing thing you are feeling now.

“but that would mean michael will have to send you to the bad place too… because technically you’re also jason?” you hummed and his brows furrow at that, processing it. he looks cute thinking deeply. you thought as he hands your vape back.

“oh…” he frowns. “that sucks.”

“it does.” you nod, taking a hit.

“man, why does everything have to be so hard! you know, whenever i had a problem, i always throw a molotov to get rid of it. but chidi and eleanor said that was stupid.” you almost cough out the vapor you’re inhaling, surprised at that.

“a molotov?” you giggled, finding it funny. it seemed arson was his solution to all his problems… and concerning.

“yeah! you should try throwing one, homie. i swear, it’s a game changer because your previous problem turns into a new one! so, you don’t have to worry about your old problem anymore.” he explained.

“that’s… oddly effective, actually.” you think about it. jason’s eyes sparkled at that as he turns to you.

“i could show you how to do it, dude! we can start throwing it at michael’s office! the powerhouse of our problems!” he says excitedly. “this will be so dope. maybe janet has something i can light up, this will be so lit.”

he stands up, ready to call on janet. your eyes widened and you pulled him back to the bed. arson was not at your top list for the moment of trying to avoid being sent to the bad place.

“woah!” you say, and he looks at you confused.

“okay, calm down, jason. we’ll do that if everything else fails.” you reassured him, but lying that you’re actually not really planning on doing that with him. even though he’s so sweet to offer you to teach you how to do it, in a way even if it was borderline crazy.

“this sucks. i thought being in the good place won’t suck.” he pouts, sitting next to you.

"what brings you here, jason?" you finally ask him, his frown still plastered across his face as he looks at you. he fiddles with his fingers as you hand him your vape.

"eleanor said that i should go to you so you can finally join us."

you sigh, lying on your bed. "tell her i'm good. thanks."

"you're not good... you're you." he emphasized with puppy eyes, and you laughed. "so you're not gonna come with us?"

"no." you shake your head. "what's the point of learning to be good when i'm supposed to be in the bad place?"

"you get to be in the good place." he responds, taking a hit.

"i don't know, jason." you shrugged, looking at the ceiling blankly. "that doesn't mean i belong here."

"you do belong here!" he suddenly argues, looking over to your laid figure. "you're kind and nice to me. eleanor says i'm an idiot... but you don't think i'm an idiot, right?"

your hearts skips a beat at that. "no, jason. i don't think you're an idiot." you smiled.

"you sure you don't want to come with me?" he pouts.

"i'm okay right here."

"then i'll stay here with you." he decides, lying beside you. you feel the bed dip on your side as you turn your head to look at him, your own heart fluttering at his kindness. "I'll be your afterlife buddy or homie."

"afterlife buddy, huh?" you smiled at that. "i like that."

you two just lay there on your bed without thinking about the main problem. casually passing the vape pen back and forth while talking about random things, very random things from jason. you learned he was a dj from jacksonville, florida. he loves buffalo wings, he sold drugs to college students, loves the jacksonville jaguars, and did pretty stupid things, but you listened nonetheless. you actually opened up a bit about what happened in your life. he listened, and everything felt like at that moment, you weren't thinking about your situation right now.

"what's it like having a soulmate?" you ask him now as you blow a ring out of your mouth afterward with the vapor. jason hums as you pass him back the vape.

"i don't know. tahani doesn't know i'm not supposed to be here... but i guess living in her mansion was the dopest part." he says.

"do you think tahani's really your soulmate?" you shyly asked, ignoring the lingering jealousy you have for them.

"i always thought ariana grande was going to be my soulmate." he genuinely said, trying to mimic how you puff out rings but failed. you giggled at that and fell silent. you ignore that bitter feeling that's nagging you. you grab the vape from him, opting to teach him how to do the trick rather than to be affected by the notion that you don't have a soulmate.

"here. you put your mouth into an 'o' shape." you say, adjusting your position to lay on your stomach as he watches you take a puff. "then like, slowly exhale while your tongue and jaw push the vapor out."

"cool." he stares at you as you puff several rings out. you hand it back to him, and he tries it, but he is too fast to exhale, and his mouth is a little bit wider than what you showed him, making the rings not stick out.

"almost!" you laugh at him as you scoot over to teach him how. "put your mouth like this."

your a bit closer to him, making your arm brush against his while your hand goes to his lips. your face an inch above his, so close. he watches you guide him, your finger brushing lightly against his lower lip as you softly guide him to make his 'o' shaped mouth into what you showed him. you stare at his lips, wondering how lucky tahani must be with him.

"and there." you say, dropping your hand to his chest. jason's eyes shyly avert away for a moment from you, something in him bothering him, but he utters it out nonetheless.

"what if i was your soulmate?"

you're stunned for a moment, realizing how close you are to him. you stutter for a moment while his eyes go wide and expecting, as if he's looking at a pikachu balloon he desperately wants. what if? that question of his rings through your head? there's hope in your heart for a moment. but... you shake your head sadly. that would be unlikely.

"jason..." you're about to argue, but he cuts you off.

"i think so." he says, staring into your eyes. you don't know what to say, looking at his puppy face, feeling like a fool. you don't know... do you deserve jason to be your soulmate? you blink back to reality.

"you don't have to cheer me up because i don't have one." you willed yourself to detach from him, missing his warmth. you sat up, averting his gaze. jason frowns, confused as to why you seemed so sad at that.

"but-"

"you should go now. i think eleanor and chidi are looking for you." you almost want to strangle yourself for dismissing him like that. there you are again, always avoiding what's right before you. jason sits up, this time he doesn't know what to say. he stands up, confused and sad, but he respects your wish to be alone now. your back is turned to him, and you wince when you hear him leave. your heart ached, and the loneliness creeped back into your room. hugging you in the darkness.

if only. you think hopelessly, lying back down. if fucking only.

・゜゜・．

fuck.

your fingers dig into the flesh of your lap, now that eleanor has officially told the entire neighborhood including michael, about her not belonging here has you on edge lately. while you did escape from being interrogated in michael's office that day, that hasn't been the only thing that has been bugging you.

jason isn't talking to you.

you feel like a loser, a fool, and an idiot. should you have just agreed with him that day? the only person you actually talk to has decided to ignore your presence, which was very unlikely of jason since you had met his real self than jianyu. you want to ask chidi for help... but he has his dilemma now with tahani and eleanor. who would you call to?

"janet!" you immediately blurt out of desperation. you hoped her rebooting was in the middle since you really need her right now.

"hi, there!" janet pops up in front of you. you jump in your place, still unused to her sudden appearance every time. "what can i do for you?"

"uhm..." you feel slightly embarrassed to ask of this. "h-how is jason doing?"

"jason is currently watching t.v in his room, but he says he's upset because he's in big trouble and that he upsetted you." she says with a smile. you gulp harshly, running your hand across your face as you sigh loudly.

"fork." you muttered, annoyed that you can't even correctly swear right now.

"it appears to me that you are also upset now." janet looks at you, and you look at her with tired eyes. you sit on your couch, while janet observes you with her usual cheery face. you think for a moment how to fix all of this, your stay in the good place is nearing its end, and you feel like at any minute now, you'll be boarding the train to the bad place. if jason managed to stay... at least you can leave him with a positive impression as a goodbye.

"janet?"

"yes?"

"can you make some buffalo wings?"

"sure!"

anticipation lingers through the air when janet leaves in an instant. you hoped he would find your apology gift to end his thoughts about how he upset you. but you upset him. because you pushed him away, still thinking that you don't deserve anyone as pure and kind as jason is. why were you holding back? why were you still trying to push away your feelings for him? when it was evident he thought the same of you. as you lay on the couch, you pondered if you should have given him the gift instead of janet. you close your eyes, wanting to bury yourself in the ground.

a sudden frantic knocking makes you jolt up.

you quickly stand up, fearing that michael has asked you to return to his office. you rush to your front door, readying yourself as you hesitantly open it. but… you were then met with the sight of a nervous-looking jason.

your eyes softened. "hey..."

"i love you." he deadpans, face serious as ever. your eyes widened, your heart stopped for a moment, and so did the apology in your head for him. you're about to say something but he takes a deep breath before coming closer to you.

"i just want you to know that you're like whippets to me... addicting that i can't live without it. you're pretty like those lights in a skrillex concert and make my heartbeat drop like when i overdose on hard drugs. and you're the only person here who's nice to me and you're my afterlife buddy. and you remembered that i like those buffalo wings from my favorite restaurant even though janet said they closed, and you managed to make a replica to cheer me up." he stops, fidgeting with his hands as he shyly averts your gaze. "so... i love you, homie. and wanna be there for you."

you're stunned, not knowing what to say. the tingling feeling crawls back into your heart. but you don't say anything else as you pull him to you for a kiss. he kisses you back, softly cupping your cheeks. you finally let yourself out of your shell. it was so sweet, warm, and comforting to be wanted. you wrap your arms around his neck, guiding him inside your house as your hand pushes to close the front door. you pull away for a moment, wanting to see his reaction.

"woah..." he merely says, starstruck as he blinks dumbly. "also, i love your ass. does this mean you'll have sex with me?"

you rest your hands on his chest as his breath hits your nose. how wide and doe-eyed they were, but evident that there's lust behind it. you giggled, how forward he is as you think about it. anytime you both would be coming with eleanor to the bad place if michael finds out, and maybe you two won't see each other again. and that breaks your heart for a moment how little time you two have.

fuck it. why not?

"okay." you say with a smile as you grab his arm to drag him to your room. jason smiles wildly, jumping a bit in excitement as he lets you drag him to your room.

the entire room feels heavy. your eyes blink hazily as you toss your head back when you feel his lips trace the hollow of your neck down to your breasts. clothes were thrown carelessly on the floor, the sheets were now ruffled, both of you were naked, and everything felt hot. you let out a breathy sigh when he takes one of your pert nipples into his mouth, sucking.

fuck. was this jason? you're slightly baffled at how this goofball of a man turned into something else. your hand comes up to caress his black hair down to the back of his neck, your legs are wrapped around his waist as he grinds his hips slowly. your lips feel so swollen from his kisses and your heart is beating loudly at the sight of him above you.

his head suddenly rose up, letting your nipple go as he rested his cheek on your chest, looking at you with a small grin on his face. "they're like clouds... so soft."

"you're adorable." you whisper, your hand on his hand, caressing his scalp, making him hum in satisfaction at your touch. he continues to subtly grind his crotch against yours, the friction of his prick rubbing against your core making you whine.

"jason..." you whined, and he propped himself up to tower over you, adjusting himself as he sat on his knees. "i love you too."

his heart skips a beat completely as he makes a noise of that. "can i?"

his eyes drift down to that spot on the apex of your thighs. he looks so out of it, so serious, as you nod. you place your hands on his biceps, gripping his muscles as he takes himself in his hand to gently guide himself in you. you steady yourself, pushing your hips slightly forward as you are rewarded with the sensation of his tip prodding your wet entrance. you let out a tiny moan while jason surges forward to lock lips with yours again.

"o-oh!" you look down to see how he's entering you slowly. his chest rises as his face hovers against your warm cheek. "you know... i almost thought that being in the afterlife would make my vagina go away." you randomly said, wondering why you said that. but you were too drunk in the pleasure of him filling you up inch by inch, his cock now nestled deep inside you to even think of your own words.

"then where will i go inside you?" he genuinely asks, and that makes you grin devilishly.

"in my mouth." you kiss the tip of his nose. he seems to want to ask you about that further, but you shut him up by grinding your hips up. he groans, his entire focus is now thrusting in and out of you slowly. not hurrying up and it seems you two both like this slow pace.

soft kisses are shared as he languidly thrusts into you. gentle caresses and bites are plastered across both of your skins. the sheen sweat is glistening on both of your foreheads as you both are so lost in the sensation of each other. you stare into his eyes, your warm walls clenching around him as his thumb rubs your clit. you wondered how skilled he is with all of this, knowing where your sweet spots are, and how calculated his thrusts are. he's so different in bed that it makes you want to explore more of this side of him.

"i'm close." you breathily say, your hands moving to grasp his neck, feeling that familiar knot in your stomach. jason's thrusts are starting to falter. he's also near his high as he thrusts into you with more vigor. a stream of moans of his name rings through his ears, he makes it his goal for you to cum first as he continues to rub your bead.

you let out a mewl, head tossing back and eyes shutting tight as you bit your lip when the tip of his cock hits that spongy spot in you. your whole body seizes with pleasure, back arching as his other hand holds your hips down for him to continue his hard thrusts. your walls clench around him, riding your orgasm now as he says your name breathily. he then pushes his hips completely to yours, his own orgasm coming at him as he finally cums in you.

"bortles." he sighed before he dropped his whole weight onto you. your brows furrowed, wondering why he said his favorite football player's name at the end of his orgasm. instead of being annoyed, you giggled, making him smile widely as he looked up at you as you lovingly caressed his back.

"do you think we're soulmates?" he suddenly asks, and you don't hesitate for an answer now, even though you two weren't or maybe were. who cares?

"yes."

[bradshawsbaby]

Letters to My Love // Part X

Rosie the Riveter

Series Masterlist

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Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader

Summary: When you signed up to volunteer with the USO, you never anticipated that you would meet a man like Ensign Robert Floyd. Fate brings you together one balmy spring evening in Charleston—the night before Bob is set to ship off across the Atlantic. Pen and paper become your only means of sharing your heart with the naval aviator who’s captivated it, igniting a correspondence that spans the distance between you. Can love blossom even as war rages and thousands of miles keep you apart?

Word Count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: I'm so sorry for how long it's taken me to update this story! One of my goals for 2024 is to get this series completed. Although it's taken me so long to update, Bobby and Peach are never far from my mind and are always in my heart. I hope you enjoy this latest installment of their story!

Set the Mood: If you’re looking for some 1940s vibes, check out the playlist I made to pair with the story.

The title of this chapter is obviously a tribute to the iconic figure of Rosie the Riveter. But it was also inspired by the song of the same name by The Four Vagabonds, which you can listen to here!

Dedication: As always, this story is dedicated to my dear friend, Clara (@luminousnotmatter). She was the first person to listen to all my endless ramblings about this universe, and she has never stopped supporting me or believing that I can get it finished. Thank you, Clara!

Warnings: Alternating POV, references to casualties of war and grief, slight angst, lots and lots of fluff.

July 8, 1943

My Dearest Peach,

I want to start by saying that I’m terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to your last letter. I think I’ve worn down the paper to nearly nothing with how many times I’ve read it, but it’s been hard to get a free moment to sit and write you the response you deserve. Things are really heating up over here, and we have to be ready to move at a moment’s notice. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down to start a new letter, only for us to be called up just as I set my pen to the paper.

To set your mind at ease, I want you to know that I’m alright. I’m not sure how much information they’re sharing with you all back home, but I know one of the fellas got a letter from his wife recently and she told him that three different families on their street got notified that their boys had been killed in action in just one week. It made her real scared that she was going to be the next one getting a knock on the door. I won’t lie to you, Peach, because I don’t think that’s fair—we’re losing a lot of men over here. It’s scary to think that any day now, it could be me they’re sending a flag home for.

I hate to start this letter off so morbidly, but there’s been something weighing on my mind lately, especially since my buddy got that letter from his wife. If anything happens to me over here, you won’t know. They’ll tell my family, sure, but not you. And I can’t stand the thought of you waiting for another letter that isn’t going to come. So I’ve spoken to Paul, Tommy Boy, and Benny about it. If anything happens to me over here, Peach, they’re going to write to you and let you know. It gives me some comfort to think that their words will be a little softer and kinder than the formality of Uncle Sam.

I hope this doesn’t make you sad, Peach, although I admit it makes me a bit sad to write. The truth is, I’m quite alright right now, like I said, and I don’t plan on letting anything happen to me over here. We have to take that drive to Folly Beach and get ice cream on the pier, after all. I tell you, that thought alone is enough to get me through even the hardest days over here.

Alright, enough of all this. Time to get back to your lovely letter. They’re calling us for dinner right now, but as soon as I’m finished, I’m coming right back to continue this letter. Nothing’s going to stop me from getting it to you.

I’m back, Peach. All the fellas were teasing me in the galley because of how quickly I scarfed down my dinner, but I didn’t care because I knew I was getting back to you and your sweet words, and that means a whole lot more than the crummy food they’re serving over here. Boy, I tell you, I sure do miss home-cooked meals. They even had—I’m not lying, I promise—they even had peach cobbler for dessert tonight. It made me think of you, but I’m sure it’s nowhere near as good as the cobbler your family makes, so I didn’t even bother giving it a taste.

Now I do have to say that you’re right, of course. I hate hearing you call yourself shy and mousey. If that’s the way you feel when I call myself boring, then I certainly promise I won’t ever do it again. It’s a deal—neither of us will talk about ourselves like that anymore.

Nothing you say could ever sound silly to me, Peach. Even though we only got to spend a few hours in each other’s company, your letters have made me feel like we’ve known each other for years and years. I’m honored that I’ve been able to make you feel seen. I do see you, Peach. You’re the most beautiful, interesting, intelligent girl I’ve ever known, and I hope you can see that in yourself. For what it’s worth, you’ve helped me to come out of my shell, too. Paul was just saying the other day that I look like a new man—that I’m standing taller and seem more confident than he’s ever seen in all the years he’s known me. I had just finished reading one of your letters when he said that. I don’t think that’s a coincidence. You’re turning me into a new man, Peach, and I like it. I like it a lot.

I’m glad that you passed along my well wishes to Emily. Even though part of me still thinks her fiancé is a dunce, I do wish them all the best. Has she heard from Eddie? I don’t know where he’s stationed, but if you’d like to find out and send the information to me, I can try to keep an ear out. How has the wedding planning been going? I’m still confident you’re going to make the prettiest bridesmaid.

I did pass along your invitation in my last letter home to my family, and my mother said she would certainly inquire after the Sheridan residence should she ever happen to find herself in Charleston. I think she’s happy that you and I are still writing to each other. She’s even happier about the thought of swapping recipes with you. Watch out—if the two of you ever do meet, I think she’ll hold you hostage in the kitchen all day.

Now I am very proud to hear about all the fine work you and Dottie have been doing with your Victory Garden. I’m sure there must have been a lot of progress since you last wrote to me! I eagerly await news about the beans, carrots, cucumbers, and tomatoes. I’m sure you’ve been able to make lots of hearty soups and healthy salads. My mouth is watering at the notion. Like I said, the food in the galley has been pretty crummy lately.

I’m sorry to hear there’s been some trouble back home. I’m sure it can’t be easy for anyone, with all the rationing and the fear and the worry. I promise that we’re doing our best over here to bring this war to an end quickly so that life can return to normal for all of you over there. For us, too. We really can’t wait to be home again.

Peach, I want you to know that it is our duty, our honor, and, quite frankly, our privilege to be fighting for you over here. I know the other fellas would agree with me saying so. So I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything at home to “earn” us fighting for you. That said, I think it’s incredible that you want to contribute to the war effort in that way. I’m sure you haven’t been waiting for my response or my approval—which you shouldn’t, by the way—but I give a wholehearted yes to you applying for that position at the air station. We just recently saw Mr. Norman Rockwell’s illustration of Rosie the Riveter on the cover of the Post, and I have to say that I think you’d wear those coveralls a hundred times better.

I’m so proud of you, Peach. I want you to know that.

Speaking of the war effort, we have a couple big campaigns coming up very soon. I can’t say much more than that, but your well wishes and prayers for success would be very much appreciated. I’m always thankful for them.

Until next time, Peach! I’m already counting down the days until your next letter arrives.

Most Truly Yours,

Bobby

P.S. I almost forgot! I told Paul how much you loved the fact that he sends drawings home to Clara and Paul, Jr.—by the way, that reminds me, how is little Frankie doing?—and he was more than happy to create a few illustrations for you. He did a couple portraits—one of me and one of you, based off your beautiful photograph. He said to apologize that he’s too much of an amateur to capture all of your beauty. He did say that he thought he did a fine enough job capturing my likeness—I’m telling you, Peach, I think my friends officially like you better than they like me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

July 31, 1943

My Dearest Bobby,

Please don’t ever feel like you need to apologize for how long it takes you to write back to me. I can only imagine how difficult it is to find the time to write with everything that must be happening over there, and yet you always find the time to pen the most thoughtful and wonderful letters. I cherish each and every one of them, and I promise that I’m more than content to read your old letters as I await the new ones.

I’m so sorry to hear about how many of our boys we’re losing. Just last week, our neighbors, the Pattersons—you remember I mentioned Mrs. Patterson had helped me and Dottie with our Victory Garden?—received news that their son, Clarence was killed in action in France. It was devastating. Dottie and I had just been coming home from the grocery store when we saw the officer standing on their front steps with a telegram in hand. We knew what that meant. Mrs. Patterson has been inconsolable since. Mr. Patterson is equally devastated, but I think he’s trying to be strong for her. Dottie and I have been taking turns cooking meals for them and spending some time over at their house. We just want them to know that they’re not alone.

I admit, Bobby, that every time I hear news of someone else being lost in this war, I immediately think of you. It feels selfish, but I’m always so relieved when the news is about someone else and not you. I don’t know how I would bear it. I pray every day that I never have to receive that letter from Paul or Tommy Boy or Benny, but I am touched that you’ve thought about how I could be notified. Oh, Bobby, I hope more than anything that your parents never have to experience what the Pattersons are going through.

But you’re right—you’re going to come home safely. We have too many plans for you to do otherwise!

I’m sorry to hear that the food aboard your carrier has been so crummy lately. I wish that I could whip up a home-cooked feast and send it in the mail with my letters. Every time I sit down to dinner now, I think of all of you, and I count my blessings. Things aren’t perfect on the homefront, but I know that we certainly have no room to complain with all you boys are going through. I promise to have a peach cobbler waiting for you when you come home—and a pumpkin pie, for good measure.

If I’m turning you into a new man, Bobby, then you simply must know that you’re turning me into a new woman as well. I hardly remember the girl that I was before I met you. Can you believe that it’s been over a year now since our paths first crossed? I feel like my life is totally different now. The way that I see myself, the way I interact with others, the way that I’m not so terrified to step out of my comfort zone anymore—so much of that is thanks to you, Bobby. I’m still me, of course. But I feel like I’m a stronger, braver version of myself now. I like it, too.

It’s so kind of you to offer to keep an ear out for Eddie’s infantry! Emily received a letter from him around the same time that I received my letter from you, and he seems to be doing well, same as you, thank goodness. Eddie is part of the 1st Infantry Division. Emily said that last she knew, he was stationed somewhere near the Rhineland. The wedding planning has been going very well. Pretty much everything is set now—all we need is the groom. Emily can’t wait for Eddie to come home for good. Once he does, they’ll be able to officially set the date. Us bridesmaids are going to be wearing lilac-colored dresses. Dottie says she already knows how she’s going to style my hair. I hope that you’re home, too, when the wedding finally happens. Emily said that I could invite you to be my date. Only if you’d like that, of course.

I would be very happy to be kept hostage in the kitchen with your mother! I’m sure there’s so much I could learn from her, and it sounds like a splendid way to spend the day. I look forward to meeting her one of these days!

Oh, the Victory Garden, Bobby! You wouldn’t believe how it’s grown! Trust me, no one is more shocked than me and Dottie. Well, maybe Paddy. He knows firsthand what brown thumbs my sister and I normally have. At first, we weren’t so sure what was going to happen—the cucumbers seemed a bit small and some of the tomatoes didn’t really take. But by the end of June, everything was thriving! It’s been such a joy to watch, and I have to admit, both Dottie and I are feeling extremely accomplished. Frankie loves to spend time in the garden with us, although he spends a bit more time digging in the dirt than helping us pick vegetables, I’m afraid. Now that we’re in the middle of summer, we’re experimenting with zucchini and eggplant. We might also try radishes and turnips. We’re turning into quite the farmers! If your mother has any recipes to share, we’d be more than grateful and happy to try them out!

Now I admit that I’ve saved the most exciting news for last. At the beginning of June, I decided to go for it and I applied for the position at the air station in Goose Creek, the one Paddy told me about. I’m sure being his sister-in-law gave me a bit of an advantage, but it only took a couple days for me to hear back from them. I got the job! I’ve officially been working on the assembly line since the middle of June. It’s hard work, and I’ve never been so tired in all my life, but I have to say that I’m really proud of the work we’re doing. It’s funny that you mention Rosie the Riveter—my job these past few weeks has actually been to fasten pieces of the planes we’re assembling with rivets! So I guess you could call me Peach the Riveter. Doesn’t have quite the same ring though, does it?

I know that the chances are small that anything I’m helping to build is going to reach you specifically, Bobby, but I can’t help but smile every time we finish a new part, or get a new plane put together. I imagine you and Paul, or Tommy Boy or Benny hopping inside and it brings me more pleasure and pride than I could possibly explain. I feel like I’m doing something important, something meaningful and special. If spending hours riveting until my fingers turn numb brings you home even a day faster, then it will all have been worth it. And it gives me a real sense of purpose, driving to work each day with Paddy. I feel proud of myself.

I’ve made some new friends at work, too! Florence and Virginia—we call them Florie and Ginny—are the loveliest, kindest girls. They had already been working on the assembly line for a few months before I got the job, so they’ve been showing me the ropes and teaching me everything they know. They’ve made me feel so welcome, so a part of things. I have to admit that I was terrified my first week or so, terrified that I was going to mess something up or make a fool of myself. But I’ve settled in quite well, thankfully.

It means a lot to me to know that I have your support, Bobby. Truly, it does. Thinking of you and all that you’re doing to protect us is what really motivated me to take this job, so thank you.

Of course I’m sending all my best wishes for the campaigns you have coming up! Wherever you are right now, I pray that you’re safe and that your missions are successful.

You’re so brave, Bobby. Have I told you that lately? Even if I have, you deserve to hear it again. I’m so, so proud of you. You’re my hero.

I hope this letter gets to you soon. I wish it could grow wings and fly to you. I know time is going to pass so slowly until I’m holding a new letter from you in my hands. But until then, Bobby, I’m thinking of you and holding you in my heart.

Most Truly and Affectionately Yours,

Peach

P.S. Paul is quite the artist!!! I now have his portraits hanging right beside the photographs you sent me. Please tell him how talented I think he is, and how much I love the drawings he made for me! I was especially touched by the little note he wrote me on the back of your portrait. I hope he’s doing well. Send my best to him and Tommy Boy and Benny!

TAGLIST: @teacupsandtopgun @saturnsbabe69 @gigisimsonmars @marchingicenotes7 @high-speed-r @cadencebeat2662 @up-thereinthesky @lostinthefandoms11 @strangerparks @sweetwhispersofchaos @callsign-magnolia @the-wayward-daughter @becks-things @jostyriggslover96 @solo-pitstop-vibes @wretchedmo @muddwheelz123 @ryebecca @lewmagoo @withahappyrefrain @rhettabbotts

[in1-nutshell]

Hey, not too long ago. There was a prompt about bot crash landing on to earth and getting adopted by ten year old buddy. If requests are open, might I suggest the same prompt with Rodimus and Drift (separately).

The concept for these two interactions has been stuck in my brain for days.

Rodimus- I'm a dad now, this is my kid.

Magnus- you can barely take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of a human child.

&

Drift- heeeeyyyyyy Ratchet... how do you feel about kids.

Wow! First request! I haven't put up a message for that yet...BUT consider this the first of many to come. I will be posting when the request will be open and some guidelines as soon after this posted.

Hope you enjoy this and feel free to request!

Rodimus and Drift (separately) accidentally crash lands and is slightly injured on Earth and meets a 10-year-old Human Buddy

SFW, Familial, platonic, mention of injury, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

Rodimus

Rodimus groaned as he sat up feeling slight pain in his struts. He looked around him and nearly did a double take. He was on Earth. It had to be, He recognize those pine trees and fuzzy moss anywhere. Unless he was on some weird simulation, or Swearth again.

He hears a small sneeze and attempts to reach for his blaster before his wrist began to hurt. He prepares for whatever is coming his way.

A small human with a bucket filled with water waddles into his clearing. They take one look at him and waddle their way to his acheing pede and proceed to dump the water on it.

“Cold! That was cold! Why did you do that for?”--Rodimus

“You were overheating. I had to cool you down. The names Buddy by the way Mr. McQueen.”—Buddy

“McQueen? Who—nevermind. My name is Rodimus, rodimus Prime.”--Rodimus

He goes to shake Buddy’s hand but his wrist shot in pain causing him to hiss. Buddy dropped their bucket and reached into their pocket and pulled out 3 Hot Wheel bandaids and with a concentrated face began sticking them all over his servo.

“Uhhh… What are you doing?”--Rodimus

“I’m helping obviously.”--Buddy

“While I appreciate—”--Rodimus

“Shhh! Let the band aids do their thing Mr. Prime.”--Buddy

“Rodimus. Just Rodimus. Anyways where’s your parents? They should be too far.”—Rodimus

“Never met them Rodimus.”--Buddy

“Wait what?”—Rodimus

Rodimus pauses taking in that information in

He tries to lighten the mood a bit and asks Buddy some basic questions he heard that little kids liked answering.

“So, what’s your favorite color?”--Rodimus

“I like orange. Like the one on you, it’s a pretty color.”--Buddy

“It is! I always tell my friends it’s a cool color!”--Rodimus

“Oh! Do you like cheetah’s? They are like, super-duper-fast!”--Buddy

“Don’t know what that is but if its fast then it has to be awsome!”--Rodimus

“Right!”—Buddy

The two eventually fall into a nice conversation until Rodimus notices the sun fall across the horizon. He asks Buddy if they know a place where they could lie low for a bit. Buddy nods and begins walking further into the thick wood.

Rodimus slowly followed in tow.

Buddy eventually comes to an old, abandoned gas station. Good for Rodimus. No other humans to know of his existence. Buddy goes to the back and opens the back garage door. A place for Rodimus, sure a little cramped but still better than sleeping in the thick wood.

Buddy went back in the store and retrieved dozens of trash bags and a sleeping bag for their improv sleepover.

“At a sleep over, you have to tell stories before we go to sleep.”--Buddy

“Any story?”--Rodimus

“Any story.”--Buddy

“Well, I have one. Let me tell you about the time I single handedly wrestled a Sparkeater.”--Rodimus

“I don’t know what that is, but it sounds cool and creepy. Tell me!”--Buddy

To his surprise Buddy was fully interested in his stories. And it was cute to see Buddy fighting to stay awake to hear the rest of the story. They ended up falling asleep, curling next to Rodimus’s leg.

That sound? That’s definitely not Rodimus’s spark screaming at the cuteness before him. Nope, definitely not that.

Rodimus is confident that his team will find him so most of his time is spent with Buddy.

Between telling stories to one another, admitting one to the other of some loneliness before meeting the other. Rodimus defiantly pulls Buddy into a hug after one of those heavy emotion sessions about the past. It’s good for the pair.

It’s now been two weeks since Rodimus had come back to Earth. Buddy decided to take him to their favorite place to look at the stars. A little field not too far from their “home”.

Approaching the clearing, they weren’t expecting Lost Light to appear over the horizon. Rodimus was so happy to see his ship he almost forgot that Buddy was on his shoulder.

“They’re here! They’re here! Oh, I can’t wait to get back to my Captain’s chair!”--Rodimus

“Oh…”--Buddy

“And I can’t wait for you to get a mini chair next to mines!”--Rodimus

“Wait…”

“Yeah, we can have it with orange designs and all. I’m pretty sure Ten won’t have much problem doing the details on the chair.”--Rodimus

Buddy just looks at him in disbelief and in happy tears hugs the side of Rodimus’s helm.

Rodimus finally catching to the reality for Buddy pauses a bit and does his best to hug them back telling them that he wouldn’t leave them even if it made all of his reports disappear.

The Rod Pod touches down and Rodimus wastes no time in running to it with Buddy holding to his chassis.

Magnus was not prepared for Rodimus to show up with a little human.

“Rodimus—”—Ultra Magnus

“Behold the newest addition to the Lost Light!”--Rodimus

“Hi.”--Buddy

“… I’ll get the supplies ready then…”—Ultra Magnus

Rodimus explains the whole story to everyone on the Rod Pod and does the same when he gets back to the ship. Buddy is having the time of their life meeting new friends. Rodimus is glad that he managed to help his friend and hopes to give them a better life than the one they had on Earth.

Drift

Drift wakes up to a cold shudder.

He looks around at his surroundings. It looked like he was in an old barn. A cold old barn with the paint falling off just like the snow outside. He then feels a sharp pain near his pede.

It not his room or the medbay. It wasn’t even a part of the ship. He remembers… the crash… He remembered trying to send one last message to ratchet about his coordinates before he blacked out.

He goes to examine the wound when he hears little footsteps. Drift reaches for one of his swords when a little human came out of one of the barns shadows. They looked like one of the children in Swerve’s human movie night films.

The child had some protective layers on, but clearly not enough for the snow falling. They had a bunch of old miss matched blankets in their hands.

“Hi…My name is Buddy.”--Buddy

“Hello? My name is Drift.”—Drift

Drift ever dumbfounded waved back before clutching his pede in pain again. Buddy carefully puts down the blankets and slowly moves towards his pede. Drift curious slowly releases his pede and watched the human pull out some sort of wrappings and began wrapping his pede the best they could.

“Buddy, as much as I appreciate the help, that isn’t—”--Drift

“Shh!”--Buddy

“Did- did you just shush me?”--Drift

“Yes, and I’ll do it again. Shh!”--Buddy

They then grabbed the blankets and attempted to… tuck him in?

He thanked them shivering a bit feeling the cold seep in.

The human smiled and left him alone in the barn before falling into a much-needed recharge.

The next morning, Buddy returned to check back and pulled a chair to sit right next to him. The two ended up talking about how Drift had gotten to Earth and how to get him back home. Drift was surprised to see Buddy eager to help him get back home.

“C’mon Drift. Let’s help you get home. And don’t worry I won’t let any evil corrupt government spy take you.”--Buddy

“That sounded oddly specific but thanks?”--Drift

Together the two end up borrowing some tech from a nearby scrap yard to help create a distress beacon. Sure, Drift was by no means an engineer, but he hopes that his time with Perceptor will help him now.

During the next 3 weeks it goes by, Drift learns a bit about Buddy’s life. About them being an orphan and finding haven in the old crumbly barn.

Buddy learns a bit about Drift too. They learn about how he used to be a bad guy before turning good, how he made some new friends on the Lost light, and his misadventures with a medic named Ratchet.

“You really chopped the bad guy’s hands?”--Buddy

“Yeah, the were going to hurt Ratchet. I had to protect him.”--Drift

“He sounds like a nice guy. Wish I could meet him.”--Buddy

It was early dawn when Buddy woke up from a nightmare and came to Drift for comfort.

“You- you just left! You didn’t even say goodbye!”--Buddy

“Buddy, it was all a dream. A bad one. Anyways I could never leave you even if I tried to.”--Drift

“What? What about the Lost Light? What about Ratchet?”--Buddy

“… Would you like to come with me? Mean, You can say no and all—”--Drift

“YES!”--Buddy

Buddy attempts to hug Drift nodding furiously. A tearful confirmation that made the pair happy.

A sudden crackle is heard from outside the barn.

Drift is immediately up, holding Buddy close to his spark and sword in the other servo. Buddy is completely dwarfed in his servo and shakes a bit in the suspense in the air. Drift is prepared to fight whatever is outside of the barn.

Multiple footsteps are heard which only makes Drift’s grip on the sword tighten.

Then the door swings open and Drift kicks down the intruder straight in the chassis pointing the sword at them. Rodimus, on the ground groaning at the sudden attack.

“Geez Drift I know we had our differences but that was a bit harsh don’t you think?”--Rodimus

“Rodimus?”--Drift

“Drift!”--Ratchet

“Ratchet!”--Drift

“Oh thank—is that a human?”--Ratchet

“Hi… I’m Buddy. You must be Ratchet. Drift tells some of the best stories about you.”--Buddy

“Does he now?”--Ratchet

“Uh… Buddy—”--Drift

“Shh!”—Buddy and Ratchet

“I like this kid.”--Ratchet

“Are you guys my parents now?”--Buddy

“What?”—Drift and Ratchet

“What?”—Buddy

And that is how Buddy ended up joining the Lost light and how Drift and Ratchet ended up being their guardians. Never leaving Buddy alone in danger and never feeling cold again.

[paintednailsandsoftdetails]

911, a confession

Let me start by saying that I don't really know what I'm doing here, so bear with me. If I actually go through with posting this, and you find yourself tagged and wondering who I am and why, or even if you happen upon it in the tags, I hope you take a minute to read this.

You don't know me, but you've been my community for a while now. I've checked your blogs daily for years, I've read your posts and loved your art and sent you countless anonymous asks to pick your brains- never hate though, because I'm not a Freak.

What I am, however, is a lonely lesbian with depression and (newly diagnosed) OCD, who has always needed some hyperfixation media/fandom to find life bearable. For some ~fun context, I was Raised by the glee fandom, I will die on the hill that watching queer as folk when I was 14 and discovering its fans 10+ years after airing made me who I am, I've got the most bizarrely timed stint in the 1D fandom under my belt, and I find nothing in the world more interesting and also affirming than Queer Reading (verb) media- to the extent that I earned an English degree and wrote a thesis specifically about it.

I haven't posted on here in 1.5 years, since I fell out of my previous fandom (apologies to anyone from said fandom who still happens to follow me and is seeing this, feel free to move along.) But I've been on this app every day since, because of 911.

(starting the read more here to spare you- again especially if you are tagged, I know you're probably feeling miserable rn but I do hope the entirety of this love letter reaches you)

I started "watching" mid season 5- by which I mean I was in a deep depressive state after disconnecting with previous media hyperfixation and, when I happened upon 911 trending while in need of distraction, I quickly fell down a rabbit hole. Tale as old as time, tumblr dot com convinces you that you need to tune into *insert media here* bc its fun and there are gay people! I caught myself up through all the big blogs and by the time May Day was airing I felt like I had a decent grasp on all the lore, all the fandom drama, all the places the writers were "definitely, so brilliantly" going to be taking the show that we had to look forward to, all without ever having actually seen an episode of the show (before you boo me, yes I've watched it by now, even season 1)

But I think it is important, and also a little messed up, that I fell in love with 911 through YOU, through the fans. Obviously watching the show initially through the lens of fan reactions first and not whats actually happening on screen can have some... interesting results. We've heard it all before, with the people who started watching specifically for Buddie around season 4/5 because they saw The Will and by the time they caught themselves up and watched the end of season 6 they wanted their refunds.

Here is where I want to make a clarification- the reason I got so interested, why I started coming back every day to check in on tags and certain favorite blogs I didn't even follow bc I was denying the want to become fully Involved, was because I fell in love with Evan Buckley. I won't lie, it was Buddie that caught my attention first- of course, thats what everyone here was talking about- and as much as I quickly started discover the value of the show outside of them (Henren my absolute Beloveds!!!!! Captain Dad Bobby Nash you are so special to ME. Chimney man of all time i can keep going) none of it was enough initially to bite the bullet and catch up on 5 seasons worth of a show I also knew would have elements I WASNT interested in (Copaganda and Taylor Kelly I am looking at you.)

But then I started really getting into fan's readings of Buck *insert footage of me learning the Buck Begins of it all for the first time* as a character separate from Eddie (as much as people were capable of anyway, and I will say some of yall continue to be absolutely atrocious at it) and I knew I was done for. Buck, this character so full of goodness, and his need to be Found but to also Find his own family and purpose and sense of self, for whom the show's thesis statement concerns the act of working to Make the kind of Love you want to have in this world, even if you were raised without a blueprint for it- I'm sorry but what else were me and my gay ass queer reading inclined hyperfixated brain to do other than take Evan Buckley into the folds and never let him go?

I love Buck. I was convinced by the time the s5 finale was airing before I had actually watched the show that Buck had to be bi. Even if they never did a thing with it you couldn't convince me otherwise and I was also confident that Oliver was portraying him with a similar mindset. I never wavered in that interpretation, even when the utter disappointment of the s6 finale and the failure to do anything truly meaningful character development wise through the lightning strike-Natalia speed run hit, and certainly not as I got fully caught up actually watching the show outside of tumblr live reactions during episode airings. I'll admit I was pretty ready to Check Out after the end of season 6, to the point where I hardly checked in on fandom at all going into 7 until the rumblings of possible canon Bi Buck reached me and I doubled back like "hold on, for real this time?" But when I say Check Out, I mean I was ready to walk away from the hyperfixation with a joint lack of satisfaction with canon & firm conviction that Buck was queer.

Things with Eddie are a lil different- and I want to try and keep this bit brief bc this is ultimately a post about Buck and Bucktommy and I have no interest in unsettling those of you who may have a queer reading connection to Eddie as real as the one I feel for Buck, but unfortunately this conversation cannot exist separately from the Eddie/Buddie of it all- I personally don't think Eddie is queer. I don't really think I ever did, even when I was in the thick of it with falling for Buddie. I know me saying this would cause certain audience to pelt me with accusations of fetishizing Buck or treating Eddie as nothing more than a vehicle for Queer Buck via Buddie- false! I actually think Eddie is an incredibly fascinating character, a deeply compelling representation of grief and fatherhood and masculinity, and also a hilariously weird lil bitch guy. I just don't feel like- especially having removed fanon glasses while actually starting to watch the show, and taking the time to acknowledge that the things about Buddie that appealed to me on a romantic level (this is NOT about their friendship which i stand by being beautiful and important) all boiled down elements I was reading within and onto BUCK specifically, not Eddie. Perhaps an impossible concept for some, the idea that Bi Buck could feel so real and apparent to me primarily divorced from the idea that Eddie had to be queer as well, but I won't bore you with my explanations for it, though I suspect the people tagged and still reading by this point know exactly what I am talking about.

All of this potentially obnoxious prologue to say, I've spent the last however many months falling in love with canon Bi Buck *insert footage of me speed running back into my daily fandom involvement/blog check ins the moment I knew Buck kissed a man*, with Bucktommy, and with Bucktommy fans.

For a long while there I had resigned myself to an odd, though perhaps not as unique as I thought, reality of loving and fully believing in Queer Buck, not necessarily feeling the same about Eddie or Buddie, but also in full agreement with many that already 6 seasons in with literally nothing else having remotely worked, Buddie would be the only satisfying conclusion for Buck's love story. This is again not exactly how I felt about Eddie- but a big part of that for me is that I don't think Eddie's primarily story in 911 is a love story. He's the vessel for telling other important, beautiful stories about fatherhood and forgiveness and that is OKAY bc not every characters story is a love story!!! Evan Buckley's is though (Despite some very weird and confusing things mr stark has just said about his character that actively contradict what hes previously said and what audiences have been looking at and for this entire time, but I digress)

But then! By whatever happy accident we want to call it 911 had Tommy Kinard fall back into its lap as the solution to what felt like the impossible: They found the ONE way they could introduce a non Eddie Diaz love interest for Buck that COULD be satisfying for Bucks story. Someone with connections to the 118 and the shows history and potential for further development within main storylines as his job directly pertains to their plots. Someone with such compelling connections for interweaving these two characters that it got us- including the showrunner- talking about the Red String of Fate. That it got some of the beloved tumblr pals I had been watching for years, who NEVER would have believed they'd ever root for a Buck endgame that wasnt Buddie doing exactly that, and with joy, love, and conviction. Again I'll ask, what else were me and my Buck loving brain to do but take Bucktommy into the folds and never let go? (apparently I hadn't considered that there was apparently horrifying alternative- more on that next!)

As you all damn well know, falling in love with Bucktommy has not come without its trails. I have never seen things in fandom as vile as the things I've seen go down here. And as I mentioned before, I've been IN IT with yall for a while, even if you didnt know it. I was here, lurking, and I know this fandom has had its highlight reels of racism and misogyny and harassment (despite certain factions current batshit consensus that things were "never bad" before *gasp* a couple of people, some over the ancient age *double gasp* of 30 heard about bucktommy through tumblr the same damn way the 90% of you who havent been watching since season 1 heard about buddie and decided to invest)

What happened tonight made me cry, for about 40 minutes straight. And yeah, its been a devastating week for us all for a lot of reasons. On top of the ~national dread (I'm a lesbian in the US btw) today was my 7th out of 9 straight days of open to close shifts in a demanding retail/management position, and I have a head cold so maybe this was just a Breaking Point after a whole lotta shit.

But also, maybe, it was really fucking shitty to watch this play out. I've already seen countless people say it better than I could. Yeah, its a tv show. It's a fictional ship. But its also escapism, a spot of joy many of us were extra dependent on this week. It was something GOOD, queer representation and a love story on national tv days after a horrifying reality set in for queer people, and we are allowed to acknowledge how much losing that sucks just on a general level for a second...

Second over, now lets talk not on the general level. Lets talk about how I've watched real human beings get harassed, sent death threats, be told they are faking cancer and failing to properly grieve dead loved ones, I've watched deeply homphobic language be adopted and incorporated into everyday use despite constant correction and pleas from queer men to knock it the hell off, I've watched homophia as a whole run rampant and unchecked by big blogs, with some biphobia to boot, I've seen some images of horrific anti gay violence and historical trauma invoked as a way to make fun of others, I've seen lesbianism slandered and proffered as an excuse for such vile behavior in a disgusting erasure of the beautiful solidarity that has historically existed between gay men and lesbians in the face of homophobia, and yes, I've seen graphic descriptions of child rape via targeted fanfiction attacks.

Again, others have already said it better than I can: This isn't about Bucktommy. It's about the way that everyone who was Pulling for them as a couple, who DARED to *checks scribble on hand* enjoy a canon queer mlm couple featuring a character (or two) they've grown to care deeply for, has been subjected to all the above mentioned and more, and for...what. For. What.

In the name of a fanon couple that has not been legitimized by the writers in 7 years? of a fanon character interpretation of a canonically straight man (not just assumed straight, verbally assigned straight now on multiple occasions) that people cannot fathom perceiving this show, let alone liking these characters, without? For the version of this story that, if the writers REALLY wanted to happen could have happened so many fucking times by now- especially when the show was coming to what might have been its end in s6- and still hasn't? A version that has been dismissed multiple times by the writers cast crew and every other unfortunate individual who has been harassed repeatedly about it?

And I'm not here to say Buddie is inherently bad!!!! It brought me into this same as the rest of you. I don't even believe it would necessarily be a bad or wrong conclusion for either character or the show were it to eventually, finally happen!! But for the love of god, hear me when i say from the outsider pov of someone who has experience the show in the way I did first through fandom then stepping back to watch for real and now watching it with my mother who is a near Exact representation of the general audience of this show (experienced Procedural watcher, no idea about Buddie or fandom interpretation, had no sense of gay eddie to speak of, and is not shocked but pleasantly surprised by and endeared by Bi Buck) you are SEVERELY deluded if you think what happened tonight by breaking up Bucktommy "makes sense" to any audience outside of buddies who've been writing manifestos for years about how every single thing in this show is "carefully, intentionally, clearly" leading to Buddie canon. I swear to you the people at home do not fucking see it. The people at home saw Buck in a nice, developing relationship that finally seemed to be going somewhere real for him after discovering an important part of his identity late in life, and then they saw that relationship abruptly ended and Buck heartbroken, going to sit with his best, still straight, bud Eddie Diaz. The ONLY people this makes sense for are the people who I am afraid it seems may have legimately bullied this into happening.

And if that is the case? We are sooo far fucking past the point of no return here. There is no true satisfaction in a Buddie canon endgame here for anyone who's lived through the past half a year in this fandom unless you were a perpetrator of any of the horrific shit mentioned above. I mean that with my whole fucking chest. If, and i do think it is a Big Fucking Fat if, Buddie does happen, and you find yourself no qualms happy and satisfied with it as your well earned endgame, I hope you know how rotted you are. And while I'm at it, I hope some way some how you come to see that this was not the carefully crafted beautifully developed loved story of all time you were gods bravest soldier in waiting for. Its just what left after years of meandering storytelling and cyclical character "development" with a bow slapped on top at the last moment because the gift giver was afraid you might kill them if they presented less.

Anyway. I said a million words ago that this was a love letter, and I do mean that. As much as its also been an mental health exercise for me to write this all out. So,

@kinardbuckleys @bucksboobs @kirkaut @tevankinkley @userautumn @sunglassesmish @tommyscurls @ohithankyou @buckxtommy @princessfbi @bigfootsmom @firewasabeast

(And so many other people I'm surely forgetting, and the few artists and writters on other platforms I dared to venture to- maybe never opening twitter again after this xoxo)

Thank you. You don't know me, I never quite got over the anxiety of trying to re-enter a fandom space after a time away, or maybe some of the imposter syndrome or embarrassment I felt accidentally falling in love with this show and Buck by just watching you all talk about him before anything else. But for the last few months, some of you years, you've been my community, my escape. I've loved watching your brains and your hearts work to discuss and create, even amidst the absolute shittiest fandom behavior Ive ever seen. And I am as grateful for getting to experience it from a far as I am devastated at the thought of losing it, of not individually typing in all your blog names (I was too anxious to even FOLLOW you guys truly rip) to see what new content or spec or art or love you had to share about Buck / Bucktommy every day.

In another life- one where idk perhaps people were kinder or showrunners weren't bullied and actors weren't dropped last minute after months of torment and a satisfying canon queer love story for a character who genuinely needs it could just Be in peace- I would have loved to one day put on my big girl pants (aka saved Buck url) joined the fandom for real. To have directly talked to any of you in a way that wasnt... this.

I would have loved to love Bucktommy with you.

[zuppizup]

👀

So, during Bridgerton fever some of my writing buddies got into the whole regency thing... again. I say again because there's always been whispers of Pride and Prejudice AUs knocking around the Rayllum corner.

Anyway, I worte a whole bunch of a Rayllum regency AU before getting dragged back into Dark Alternative.

And because it's me, it's not just a straightforward Regency AU. Think slow burn, pining, tension, long gazes, secrets and misunderstandings.

All the fun things!

Turning a corner, she collided with something solid, a small sound of surprise forced from her lungs as she fell backwards in fright. Just as she was about to lose her footing, a strong hand took her by the wrist, pulling her back to her feet.

“Rayla?”

She looked up in surprise, her mind scrambling for an excuse to be here, and instead, she found herself simply gawking at Callum.

He appeared as shocked as she was, staring at her wide-eyed before he shook himself, eyes falling to where his hand was still wrapped around her wrist. “I beg your pardon.” He let go of her hand suddenly, and even in the low light she could, she a deep blush spread across his cheeks.

Straightening herself, she continued to try and think of a way of explaining her presence in this part of the house. Her wrist felt warm where his hand had held her, though, and it was intensely distracting. “Oh no, my apologies, my Lord.” She looked around, hoping he wouldn’t ask too many questions. Only stewards and personal maids came to this part of the house. “I, em, got lost.”

“Oh.” Callum seemed a little lost for words himself, rubbing his hands together.

“This house is much bigger than any other I’ve worked in.” She explained, nervous of his continued silence. She wasn’t a fool. She had noticed him watching her. It seemed that whenever she looked at him, he was already looking at her. He must have suspected she was up to something. He must have figured her out. In some manner, at least. He must have realised that she wasn’t who she said she was. “I just wanted to go for a walk before bed, and… and I thought this was the way to the walled garden. I know we’re not supposed to go in there, but I thought because everyone was out, that it would go unnoticed. Mr. King told me there was a nightingale living in that part of the garden, and I was hoping to hear it.” She knew she was rambling, but she hoped this small lie might distract him from her real reason for being here.

If she admitted to a smaller infraction and was punished for that, maybe she’d get another chance to get a look in Viren’s room.

“Oh, oh no.” Callum’s brow was furrowed as he listened to her speak. He shook himself, taking a deep breath. “No, the garden is on the lower level. Well, obviously. It’s a garden so, yes, it must be on the ground level, mustn’t it?” He paused, taking a breath.

Rayla couldn’t help but laugh a little at his explanation, covering her mouth with her hand in a vain attempt to hide it. His incoherent explanation was… sweet.

I might pick it up again next year. We shall see.

[hughesmedicine]

special day | J. Hughes

!platonic jack hughes x reader

jackhughes

liked by yourusername, lhughes_06, trevorzegras and others

jackhughes: happy birthday to this nerd, thanks for being in my life the past 21 years, I love you so much! Enjoy being 22 till I get there ( I’m still mad that we weren’t born on the same day)

tagged: yourusername

load more comments..

yourusername: ROWDEN OMG THANK YOU I love you so much and thanks for the most annoying 22 years of my life!

| jackhughes: anytime, expect many more for years!

| yourusername: I can see us being 82 and sitting on the front porch throwing apples at my husband

| _quinnhughes: HELLO WHY AM I GETTING HIT WITH APPLES??

| jackhughes: stop reminding me that you guys are dating, makes me want to throw up.

_alextorcotte: I thought we would have got a normal caption this year

| jackhughes: what do you mean??? this is a completely normal caption.

| _alextorcotte: yeah okay

| yourusername: you wouldn’t get it if you don’t have a best friend

| jackhughes: ^

| _alextorcotte: him and I literally don’t do this??

| yourusername: it’s better when it’s a girl tbh

| _alextorcotte: noted

colecaufield: oh how I love when y/ns birthday comes around

| yourusername: you’re still coming right??

| colecaufield: wouldn’t miss it!

| yourusername: good you better be here at 8 am sharp

| colecaufield: plane doesn’t land till 9 am

| yourusername: obviously jump out and parachute the rest of the way, you have to think smarter cole!

| colecaufield: yeah okay I’ll do that

lhughes_06: happy birthday y/n/n, thanks for tormenting jack all these years for me!

| yourusername: anytime moosey, it’s the least I can do for the non annoying hughes🫶🏻

| jackhughes: okay really?

| _quinnhughes: not even gonna take offense to it even if she is wrong

| yourusername: I’m never wrong

| lhughes_06: don’t lie to yourself, sent with love🫶🏻

| yourusername: okay rude.

| lhughes_06: I SAID SENT WITH LOVE!

trevorzegras: happy birthday y/n/n, thanks for being the trio to our duo!

| yourusername: you have it all switched around but thanks z ily!🧡 ( go ducks!)

| trevorzegras: @/jackhughes I told you she’ll root for me more

| jackhughes: Y/N TELL HIM THE TRUTH

| trevorzegras: what truth???

| yourusername: number 1 devils fans right here buddy

| trevorzegras: way to rip my heart out and stomp on it.

| yourusername: im sorry (not sorry)

| trevorzegras: k blocked.

_quinnhughes: happy birthday baby ily and I can’t wait to see you tonight! Enjoy this special day💙

| yourusername: thank you my love, I love you so much more!

| jackhughes: get this disgusting shit out of my comment section ( I secretly love this relationship and I’m totally not being forced to type this out)

| _quinnhughes: she’s forcing you to type that last bit isn’t she?

| jackhughes: yeah she is and she has a hockey stick.

| lhughes_06: hope she wacks you, it’s one hundred percent deserved

elblue6: happy birthday sweetie, enjoy this big day!! Thank you for being the daughter I’ve always wanted❤️ and for keeping jack in check

| yourusername: im crying omg I love you so much and I couldn’t have asked for a better second mom!😭❤️ also your welcome, it’s what I do best!

njdevils: happy birthday to our amazing photographer and manager!❤️

| yourusername: thank you favorite admin!💙

| jackhughes: not you logging in to wish yourself a happy birthday💀

| yourusername: you’re just jealous you can’t do this

nicohischier: happy birthday bestie! Shots tonight?

| yourusername: shots tonight!

| jackhughes: stop stealing my friend @/nicohischier

| nicohischier: never❤️

canucks: happy birthday y/n!💙

| yourusername: thank you wonderful admins!💙

_eliaspettersson: happy birthday y/n, have the best day ever! I’ll celebrate with you once you come visit! | yourusername: be there next week, can’t wait to take shots with you!

[williamrikers]

okay. fuck. i need to talk about be my favorite. because jesus christ, this might be THE smartest show currently airing, which is a miracle at a time when la pluie is also airing.

so, this episode we learned more about kawi's and pisaeng's family backgrounds, and oh boy, is there a lot to unpack there... and it all works to explain why the original timeline was the way it was, why everything turned out so fucked up for both of them in the beginning.

(very rambly thoughts under the cut)

first of all, it's important to note how much of an impact kawi's father's death had. it was always clear that this was a traumatizing event in kawi's life, literally the first thing he did when he went back in time was to ditch the (supposed) girl of his dreams so he could be with his father, tearfully hug him and tell him "i love you, dad".

now, we're learning that after his father's death, kawi completely gave up on himself. he literally didn't see any reason to pursue a better life or his dreams because his father would never get to see it and be proud of him. i think this also explains to some extent why kawi has so much trouble accepting help from others: he has internalized the idea that he somehow has to do everything on his own, so his father (and others) can be proud of him. it's interesting that kawi obviously loves his father a lot but they're not really close: they don't see each other very often and in the first episode, it's established that they don't usually talk to each other about their feelings, either.

so. everything else that happened to kawi in the og timeline (knot making fun of his singing, pisaeng "stealing" his spot as pear's secret buddy, his falling out with max, kawi being too much of an introvert to make any new friends at uni) was compounded by the fact that after his father's death, kawi saw no hope for himself any more, and he ended up alone, isolated, friendless, depressed and deeply unhappy.

and now that we're learning more about pisaeng as well, it's becoming clear that something similar happened to pisaeng in the og timeline as well, only for him it was not a single event but more the reality of him being gay and having a crush on kawi (come on. nobody can tell me he DIDN'T crush on that cute awkward nerd as soon as kawi dropped his lil notebook in front of the seniors on the first day of uni), but kawi never even speaking to him and completely ignoring his existence... while pisaeng's own mother was adamant about pisaeng staying as deep in the closet as possible because it's bad for her political ambitions to have an out gay son. she basically tells him "you can feel whatever you want to feel but telling people about it is something that you should only do with my permission".

so, pisaeng has been getting told by his mother to stay in the closet since he was 15 years old (JESUS!!!), and since his crush is obviously unrequited and hopeless, why should he risk anything by being honest about it? his family is rich, pear's family too, their marriage is one of convenience for pisaeng, who gets to keep living his good life while placating his mother and spending his life with a person he's friends with, even if he can never love her romantically. from his mother's perspective, pear and pisaeng must be a good match, and pisaeng has no real reason to fight any of it. because coming out as gay would do nothing but cause him trouble and make him unhappy.

but in the new timeline, kawi is there as pisaeng's friend. and pisaeng falls for him so much deeper than he ever could have done in the og timeline. and now he HAS to figure himself out, HAS to confront his own queerness, not for kawi or even with kawi (utterly brilliant choice in the last episode to have pisaeng go on this journey alone!) but for himself, because it is becoming clear that he is living a lie and that he can't go on like this. having kawi in his life changes everything for pisaeng -- even if they weren't in a bl and were simply friends, this storyline would still be incredibly compelling because even while they're not in a relationship, kawi and pisaeng keep challenging each other, keep changing each other, keep making each other better, more honest people.

when they're in bed together and kawi asks why pisaeng likes him, he says much of the same stuff he's said before: that pisaeng is better, richer, more handsome than him, that he can't understand what pisaeng sees in him. but he says it differently this time, not with anger or defiance like in the beginning of their friendship, but so honestly, he's able to open up to pisaeng in a way he never could before just because he has had pisaeng in his life and they have had an impact on each other.

i keep coming back to this because it's something i rarely see in stories and bmf is doing it AMAZINGLY. both of the protagonists go on a journey of growth and self-improvement through knowing each other, they literally make each other better. and even though kawi is not at a point where he can see them as equals, he can honestly talk about this now, can voice his feelings of insecurity in a way he was never able to before -- and so, pisaeng can say, well, i think you're cute, does there have to be anything more to it than that? he doesn't try to talk kawi out of his self-perception, merely states his own perception of him in a way kawi can't argue away. i think this is a smart writing choice because kawi has to accept that pisaeng finds him cute, he can't say "no you don't" without accusing him of lying.

and oh, my baby kawi being so incredibly deep in denial is tugging at my heartstrings. there's a very interesting parallel happening with kawi's singing, something he was obviously dreaming of as a career when he was a child but completely gave up on -- until pisaeng and pear helped him gain confidence to put himself out there once again. i think something very similar is happening with his sexuality: he has shoved the truth of himself so far back in his own mind that it takes a long time and the knowledge that pisaeng is into him for kawi to even entertain the thought of maybe also being into him maybe. there's a certain safety in that, just like there's safety in having pear there while he reads his song lyrics to a room full of people. and that's not a bad thing! this show has consistently shown (and outright told) us that people need to help each other, that literally no one is capable of making it on their own, that everyone deserves love and support. and kawi needs a lot of love and support to be able to even let himself think of pisaeng in romantic terms. i am seriously excited to see what happens next, now that kawi has crossed the line between them, now that he got a taste of what he could have if only he let himself.

there are probably a million things i haven't said that i can't think of right now. but every single episode leaves me more impressed than the last, the story is written SO well and presented in such a smart way, later revelations recontextualizing things we already know, and with every week, everything makes more and more sense. and learning more about their families really explains a lot about all three of them (god, i haven't even mentioned pear's rich upper-class alcoholic father, a lot to unpack there as well!), and how they got where they were in the og timeline as well as in the current timeline.

thanks for reading 😘

[pigeonxp]

I jjust saw a post of a former big buddie blog who turned pro BT, but now turned back to buddie 🙄 and they're all "oh it's so embarrassing to see notifs from people reblogging my pro bt posts haha oops"

And that just pisses me off. These people wrote pro BT posts about buck dating a known racist misogynist obviously plot device character, they didn't gaf about ditching eddie or buddie, they used their popularity to spread BT fanon to a wide audience and maybe even mocked and vilified buddie fandom, they probably also wrote popular pro BT fic

And now they can just be like "teehee i changed my mind that's all in the past now" and come back to buddie fandom like nothing happened???

Pisses me off. I hope some people have kept a list of buddies turned bts and don't refollow or interact with them. They can go make their own fandom, where eddie is just buck's LI who's apparently interchangeable with any dude who kisses buck 😑🙄

no fr i also be getting so upset when my fav buddie fic writers write a bunch of bt fics and switch it up back to buddie eventually like 😐 and like im not gonna lie and say i dont care that ppl r switching up and jumping ship after being die hard buddies (bc i do think its fucking weird!!!) but it wouldnt bother me as much if the majority of the ppl who switched to bt werent actively hostile to the buddie community yk? like thats so weird to me bc u literally used to be one of us and now ur calling us delusional?? idk its just weird weird behavior.

[helloalycia]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 [𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑] — 𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐍𝐀𝐌-𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐘

one / two / three / five / masterlist / wattpad

summary: as you try to avoid witnessing Clayton making moves on your girlfriend, you start to hang out with the help some more, only making Alycia jealous in return.

warning/s: none.

author's note: super delayed (my bad), but here’s the final part! hope you guys liked this one :)

Alycia's parents were treating her to lunch today, so I busied myself with icing the cupcakes Millie let me help her bake yesterday, and also the little 2-tier cake I'd baked for Alycia as a surprise.

It was fun, I wouldn't lie, even though I was terrible at baking and icing and anything creative in that aspect. But Millie was great company and it was a nice enough distraction from the utter boredom I otherwise would have felt with Alycia being gone. 

"So, how did you and Alycia meet?" Millie was asking as we dyed our icing.

"It was actually at a job, working over the summer at one of her parents' camps," I answered. "Though, back then, I definitely didn't know she was the daughter to millionaires."

"Would that have changed anything if you did?" she asked with an amused smile.

I shrugged, weighing it up as I'd never really thought about it. "I'm not entirely sure... I think if I knew before speaking to her, I may have avoided her. But that would have been based on a preconceived idea that she's stuck up and spoilt, y'know? Obviously, I spoke to her because she was my buddy at the time and we got along from there. And by the time she told me about her parents, well... she's lucky she's cute."

Millie laughed at my joke. "That's adorable. You guys make a lovely couple. And you're right about getting to know Alycia. I've worked here for a year or so, mostly for her parents, but the few times she's visited and we've interacted, she's been kind."

I smiled, knowing that sounded like Alycia. Nothing like her parents, thank God.

"So, how did you end up being a private chef?" I asked curiously.

We passed time as we decorated, talking about how she went to culinary school, what she did when she wasn't baking and her love for it all. It was refreshing, especially because I'd never met anyone who did this for a living. And after she helped me not make a fool of icing the cakes, but also assisted me in decorating Alycia's, a waiter entered the kitchen to let us know of Alycia's return.

"That's your cue," Millie encouraged, before nodding to the cake in the box on the counter. "Knock 'em dead."

A little excited, I smiled gratefully before grabbing the cake and heading to the front door with hopes of finding Alycia. They were still outside, I noticed, when I glanced out the window, and then I realised they weren't alone. Her parents, her and fucking Clayton of all people were getting out the car, chatting and smiling. Had he gone to lunch with them? What the fuck? I literally stayed behind so Alycia could have some bonding time with her parents, not him.

Frustrated, I stepped away from the window and realised my anger had gotten the better of me because I'd unintentionally squeezed the box in my hand and, consequently, the cake.

"Fuck," I mumbled, before backing away from the door and returning to the kitchen.

"How did she– wait, what happened?" Millie started, but stopped herself when I tossed the cake box on the counter.

"Fucking Clayton and his fucking lack of boundaries," I muttered with irritation, before leaning my head in my hands on the counter to contain myself.

"Oh, Y/N..."

I'd never discussed anything of my feelings towards Clayton to Millie, but it was pretty evident how I was feeling right now. I thought I was over it, especially after Alycia's reassurances last night, but clearly I wasn't.

"It doesn't matter," I said with a heavy sigh. "It was stupid anyway. Just throw it out. It's basically bird food now anyway."

No doubt giving me a disapproving look, Millie grabbed the box and said, "Don't be silly."

I glanced up when I heard her shuffling about, only to see her taking the cake out the box and cutting a decent enough slice that wasn't destroyed by my inability to contain my anger.

"Go," she ordered, pushing the plate towards me. "Give this to your girlfriend."

I narrowed my eyes at the cake. "She's too busy with Clayton."

Millie gave me a knowing look. "It's her dad, not her, now go." I just about rolled my eyes when she added, "Don't be a child, Y/N."

Grumbling to myself, I straightened up and grabbed the plate. But not before glancing at her and saying, "You're getting too comfortable with me."

She cracked a smile, resisting the urge to laugh, before wafting me away with her hand. I groaned inwardly before returning to the front of the house, where Alycia, her parents and Clayton were just entering the atrium. As soon as Alycia spotted me, her face lit up and she ran to me, almost making me drop the plate as she hugged me. Admittedly, it made me forget why I was annoyed in the first place and I immediately returned the hug.

"Ooh, what's that?" she asked distractedly, eyeing up the cake slice. "My surprise, perhaps?"

Unable to stop my smile, I was about to reply, but was instantly cut off by her father.

"Oh, that can't be Millie's handiwork, surely," he said with a loud laugh. "What on earth is that decoration?" Glancing at Clayton, he added, "This is why you have to be picky with the help."

Clayton laughed at his joke whilst I tried very hard not to throw the plate at his head.

"Dad!" Alycia scolded with a look. "That's not nice!"

Her dad played dumb, then looked to Clayton for approval, which only boiled my blood more.

"Y/N, what is it?" Alycia asked, expression softening when she looked back to me.

"Nothing," I managed to say without flipping out irrationally. "Just leftovers from a practice batch Millie made." Swallowing hard, I took a step back. "In fact, I should probably throw it out. It's not that nice anyway."

Alycia frowned, about to speak, but bloody Clayton of all people spoke up.

"Alycia, your dad and I are going to get a drink, would you like to join us?"

Seconds away from smashing this plate on his head, I rolled my eyes and turned to leave instead. Storming back to the kitchen a second time, I made a beeline for the bin.

"Seriously?" Millie asked with playful disbelief. "You still haven't–?"

"It was a stupid idea," I snapped, setting the empty plate before her, before leaving to get some fresh air.

—

Not even half an hour passed when Alycia found me returning to the house after a well-needed sulk around the property.

"Y/N!" she called once she spotted me by the outdoor dining area. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"I haven't been very far," I said nonchalantly.

She frowned guiltily, eyes flickering between mine. "I didn't know Clayton would be there. My parents took me out and he was already sat there at the table."

"He always seems to be present, don't you think?"

She sighed. "I know."

I lifted an eyebrow questioningly. "Seriously? Why not doing something about it, Alycia?"

She raised her eyebrows too. "Don't you think I'm trying?"

I tried not to scoff as I crossed my arms. "Well, not hard enough."

Definitely surprised by my attitude, she gave me a look. "Y/N."

I looked down at my shoes, knowing my anger would return if we discussed this any longer. "Forget it. See you at dinner."

"Y/N," she started as I began to walk away.

"Or maybe we'll see Clayton, who knows?" I said sarcastically, before rolling my eyes as I left, ignoring her calls.

It wasn't her fault, I knew that, but she wasn't exactly telling her father to back off, at least not well enough. I was uncomfortable and her parents were doing a pretty great job at making me want to leave. So, why couldn't we?

—

Dinner time that same evening was awkward as hell and I was counting down the seconds before I could leave to go up to our room. Her parents were chatting, talking about the business and Alycia, and I was staying quiet because I seriously couldn't be bothered. The only relieving thing was that they hadn't invited Clayton.

At one point, the dessert was brought out – the cupcakes that Millie let me help her make, though she did ninety-nine percent of it – and her dad felt the need to comment.

"Ah, see? This is Millie's handiwork," he said with a smile as the waiter placed some cupcakes before us all. "None of that rubbish from earlier."

I bit my tongue as I distracted myself with my cup of tea. Alycia glanced over at me, wanting to say something, but as usual, she didn't.

When the meal was over, Alycia and I headed straight upstairs for bed. I never usually went to sleep so soon after eating, but I didn't want to stay awake and have to talk things out with Alycia, not when I was still so upset at the situation. So, after getting ready for bed, I jumped right in and laid down, turning my back to Alycia who was still unchanged from her day clothes.

"Y/N?" she called gently. "Can we talk?"

I closed my eyes, frowning to myself. "I'm tired."

I heard her sigh from behind me, and though a small part of me felt bad for treating her like this, the rest knew that it wasn't fair how I was being treated this whole trip. The sooner we left, the better. But for now...

"Okay," she muttered. "Goodnight, I guess."

I didn't say anything, but the door closed and I assumed she'd gone into the ensuite to get ready for bed, too.

—

I'd hoped going to sleep would put me in a better mood, but when I woke up the next day, I was only reminded of how shitty everything had been and my mood still remained.

There were only two days left before Alycia and I could go home, but for now I had to suck it up. I still wasn't in the mood to talk to Alycia, so I avoided her the best I could, which I soon discovered was ideal because none other than fucking Clayton was back at the house again. Apparently it wasn't for Alycia, based on what the staff chatter had to say, but rather for a business meeting with her dad. Either way, it was an excuse for him to be around and I would have rather stayed away.

Deciding that Millie was the only other person here that I knew and felt comfortable enough to be around, I went to bother her as she worked in the kitchens. Plus, I owed her an apology after my outburst yesterday.

When I found her, she was preparing some ingredients for something and almost didn't notice my presence until I stopped by a stool at the counter.

"Hey," I said with a small smile.

When she saw me, she returned my smile with a relieved one. "Y/N, hey. How are you doing? You seemed really upset yesterday."

I leaned in the palm of my hand nervously. "Yeah, look, I'm sorry for snapping at you. It wasn't very nice, especially not after you tried to help me with the whole situation."

"It's okay," she assured. "I can see how annoying it must be to find out Clayton is always around. I'm guessing that's why you're here now."

I sighed, trying not to get worked up at the mere mention of him. "Yeah. I hope that's okay. I just can't stand being around him. And Alycia isn't helping the situation, so we're kind of not talking."

At this, Millie gave me a disapproving look. "You can't just not speak to her. You know this is an awkward spot for her. It's her parents, not her."

"I understand that, but how about me? I'm at my girlfriend's house to hang out with her family and instead of that, they're trying to show her off to another guy right in front of me. Why do I have to be okay with that?"

Millie sighed, shrugging as she worked. "You're right. It's shitty. But you need to communicate this to Alycia, not avoid her."

I put my head in my hands and groaned quietly. "Can I avoid her a little longer? I'm not in the mood."

Chuckling quietly, Millie nodded. "I suppose so. Maybe I can teach you how to make fresh pastry."

Glad she was letting me stay, I smiled for real and jumped off the stool. "Thanks, Millie."

It was probably a terrible sign that I enjoyed spending more time with a pastry chef than I did my girlfriend's family, but I didn't care. If they couldn't bother to make half the effort with me that I was making with them, then I couldn't change that. Besides, there were only two more days left. I could surely survive that.

After spending the morning with Millie, chatting away mindlessly and watching as she worked because it was better than watching TV for hours on end, it was soon lunchtime. We were supposed to be having an outdoor afternoon tea for lunch, with some baked goods that Millie and a few of the other chefs had prepared in advance. I was stood outside with Millie after she set the table, the two of us talking by the doors, when Alycia found me.

Millie and I's conversation ceased as soon as Alycia stopped by us, glancing at me with a tense jaw.

"Alycia," I greeted, still mildly irritated.

"Can I speak to you, please?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. Before glancing at Millie and adding, "In private?"

I looked at her with disbelief, but before I could say anything, Millie nodded awkwardly.

"I should get back to work," was all she said, before returning to the kitchen.

When she was gone, I looked back to Alycia. "That was a little rude, don't you think?"

Alycia's green eyes stared holes into mine. "What are you doing?"

I was confused. "What?"

She crossed her arms with annoyance as she asked, "Do you like her?"

Absolutely baffled now, I raised my eyebrows and stared at her. "What? Are you joking right now?"

She clenched her jaw, unimpressed. "All you keep doing is avoiding me and hanging out with her instead. What gives?"

The audacity of her to make such assumptions was laughable, to the point where I had to stop myself from doing so.

"Wow," I said with both irritation and impatience. "You're kidding me, right?" Judging from her know-it-all expression and the patronising glare she was giving me, I knew she wasn't. I continued, "Maybe if you stopped appeasing your dad's wishes this whole trip and hanging out with Clayton all the time, you'd see that I'm bored! Millie is the only bloody person I can hang out with here!"

Alycia scoffed frantically, shaking her head and looking away. "That's hardly fair."

I widened my eyes as I gave her a questioning look. "Isn't it?! What's not fair is that I'm here to bond with my girlfriend's parents and, instead of doing the same, they're trying to set you up with a new man whilst I'm literally right here!"

"That's not what's happening–!"

It was my turn to scoff as I cut her off. "Sure it's not. Because he just so happens to be around all the time, doesn't he?" Giving her an angry glare, I said, "He drools over you, Alycia. And do you think I like watching him check you out? Because I bloody don't!"

She opened her mouth to speak, but just on cue, someone approached us and interrupted, and it was damn Clayton.

"Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but Alycia–"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I shouted at him, before losing my patience and shoving past him to return indoors. I didn't have to deal with this – it wasn't fair!

Storming up to our room, I shut the door and tried very hard to contain my frustration, but it was too late, I was already fuming. It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve to be treated like this! And I wasn't going to stand for it anymore. Being here was only making me miserable, so I had to leave. Alycia could stay the rest of the trip with her parents, but they didn't want me here and I didn't want to be here.

Pulling out my suitcase, I grabbed as much as I could from the wardrobe and threw it in, deciding to pack everything up. Clayton and Alycia's parents could live happily together, but I didn't care to see it.

I was midway through packing when the door suddenly opened and Alycia appeared.

"Y/N, we need to talk," she said sternly. "Not argue."

"I'm not interested," I said dismissively, throwing another shirt in.

She must have realised what I was doing, finally paying attention, as she lost her irritation and looked to me sadly. "You're leaving?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "No, I just thought the suitcase was a looking a little empty. What do you think?"

"Y/N!"

I ignored her and continued to pack, moving to grab some toiletries from the dressing table.

"Please, let's just talk this through," she tried again. "I don't want to fight."

"Neither do I, but I can't be here anymore," I said, throwing my toiletries in my bag. "We can talk it through at home. You should stay the rest of the week."

"We're literally talking right now," she pointed out, making me roll my eyes. "C'mon, just sit. Please."

I met her eyes with a hardened stare. "Not in the mood."

She frowned and then her jaw clenched and I saw her impatience shining through. "Y/N."

I was stubborn, but so was she, and I refused to let her get her way this time.

Returning to my packing, I planned to ignore her presence until I finished, and even when she rounded the bed to approach me, I blanked her out. A little too much, in fact, as I didn't realise she'd pulled out some handcuffs from her back pocket and snapped them onto my wrist, connected to hers.

"Alycia!" I scolded. "Unlock it right now."

She pursed her lips, shaking her head. "Nope."

I bit back my irritation. "Maybe when you were a kid this sort of behaviour was cute, but it's not now, so let me go."

"Talk to me then," she insisted. "I don't like how things ended before and I don't like seeing you upset."

"Well, I'm not in the mood to speak to you right now and I just want to leave," I retorted. "So, respect that."

Her gaze softened. "Please."

I outstretched my free hand. "Key. Now."

Just when I thought I'd have to wrestle it from her, she sighed and gave in. "Fine."

As she patted down her pockets, I pushed my hair from my eyes and groaned inwardly. "Where the hell d'you even get handcuffs anyway?"

"Toy set from when I was a kid," she mumbled, before I watched her pat her pockets some more. Judging from the worried look she had, I couldn't imagine the news being good.

"Alycia, give me the key," I repeated, growing nervous, and she tensed her jaw with annoyance. "This isn't funny."

"D'you see me laughing?" she snapped, before checking her back pockets and coming up with nothing.

I tried to pull my wrist from the metal cuffs, but it pulled her wrist too, making her yelp, and that's when I realised she really wasn't joking.

"Alycia, are you insane?!" I shouted, already stressing because of what this meant.

"Just shush!" she ordered, though the guilt was seeping through. "Panicking doesn't help!"

I gasped sarcastically. "Sorry if we're bloody handcuffed together and I'm panicking! Because in case you didn't realise, darling, we're handcuffed together!"

"I know!" she shouted right back, before giving up with her futile searching. In a quieter voice, she said, "I've lost it. I must have missed my pocket when I put it in."

I groaned loudly, attempting to sit on the bed, but she of course came with me and I had to remain standing.

"Look, let's just go back downstairs and retrace my steps," she said hopefully. "It'll show. And if not, there's gotta be some tools somewhere."

I stayed quiet, not wanting to snap at her even more when I was already pissed off and she was the last person I wanted to be handcuffed to right now. Instead, I let her lead me downstairs and around the living room and old playroom, with hopes of finding the key on the floor somewhere. But we searched everywhere and there was nothing. Not wanting to give up, Alycia assured me we might be able to find some tools in the shed outside. But of course, it was just our luck when there was nothing there either.

"No offence, but you're terrible at this," I told her bitterly, before flagging down the pool boy who was nearby. "Hey, mate, are you alright to give us a hand? Alycia over here has handcuffed us together and we need something to unlock it with."

The pool boy, more of a man in all fairness, glanced at our handcuffed wrists. "Have you tried the key?"

I closed my eyes, containing my constant frustration that didn't seem to leave me today. Thankfully, Alycia responded so I wouldn't have to.

"We lost the key. We were thinking something like a screwdriver or a hammer. Anything else, really."

"Hmm...," he thought to himself. "I'm not sure about the wrist part, but I can definitely separate you by chopping the chain with a butcher's knife."

How hadn't I thought of that? It was genius!

"Yes!"

"No!"

I blinked, looking to Alycia. "I'm sorry?"

"Y/N, are you insane?" Alycia asked with disbelief. "That's so dangerous! What if he missed?!"

I opened my mouth, stunned. "Are you– are you kidding me right now, Alycia? Insane? You bloody handcuffed us together! The only insane one here is you!"

Taking that as his cue to leave, the pool boy turned on his heel and left Alycia and I to bicker.

"How dare you!" she exclaimed, not even attempting to disguise her annoyance anymore. "Sorry if I had to take extreme measures to talk to my girlfriend!"

"I said I would talk about it back home!" I reminded her, before yanking our wrists towards me. "Now c'mon! I don't want to be handcuffed to you any longer!"

"I said no!" she said, yanking me back as I attempted to walk away.

Frowning, I pulled her towards me. "We're using the knife, dammit!"

"I said no!" she repeated firmly, yanking me back towards her.

"Alycia!"

"No!"

"We're going to the–!"

"You're not listening–!"

"Alycia–!"

And before either of us knew it, she'd yanked me too hard, enough for me to go tumbling right into her and knocking us both into the pool. The cold water shocked the anger right out of me and I immediately tried to resurface, gasping for air. I made sure Alycia was okay beside me, momentarily stunned, and when she was pushing her wet hair from her eyes, the realisation settled in and my anger returned.

"I can't believe you just did that!" I shouted.

"Me? You're the one who fell into me!"

Swallowing hard, I began to swim to the stairs. Thankfully, she got the hint, and we both returned to our room dripping wet.

"We'll go to the garage in town first thing in the morning when it opens," she suddenly said when we were stood there making a mess on the carpet. "They'll have tools."

I resisted the urge to glare at her. This was probably the biggest fight we'd ever had and, right now, I hated her.

"I'm showering," I said without giving her much choice. "Come on."

Yanking her into the ensuite, I shut the door and grabbed a towel, mumbling to myself, "I'd have a bath but I can't because tweedledum is handcuffed to me..."

"I'm not stopping you," she said defensively. "Go for it."

I glanced at her, trying to see if she was joking, but when she wasn't, I thought what the heck? I deserved a nice, relaxing bubble bath. Though preferably one that didn't include her. Unfortunately, I couldn't manage that, but I could still have the bath, so I filled it up as I undressed and forced her to sit on the edge of the tub, look at the door and be quiet. Being Alycia, however, she couldn't manage that, and she was nonstop talking about how she didn't like Clayton or what her dad was up to or anything about this week so far. And I'd finally had enough.

"Alycia!" I snapped, opening my eyes. "The whole point of this is for me to relax. Be quiet, please."

She sighed, but thankfully listened, and I closed my eyes again, trying to forget that she was attached at the wrist and sat on the edge of my supposed-to-be relaxing bubble bath. Just when I thought I was doing better, she suddenly moved, making me open my eyes, and then I saw her jump into the bath with me, sitting opposite me and with her clothes still on.

Widening my eyes, I looked to her. "Alycia!"

"I'm sorry," she said with a pained voice, ignoring my shock and her current situation. "I know I need to do more. This week hasn't been fair on you. But my dad doesn't listen and I don't know what else to say. I don't mean to appear ignorant. I care about you, Y/N, so fucking much."

The sincerity in her voice was convincing enough, but I was still staring at the fact that she was soaking wet and fully clothed in the bath with me.

"Say something," she pleaded.

"You're wearing clothes?" I said with disbelief.

She rolled her eyes. "Forget that. Just talk to me. Please."

Despite the stupidity of everything, it was the distraction I needed to finally tell her how I was feeling. I hesitated, not planning to do it whilst sat naked before her in a bubble bath, but she clearly wasn't going to leave, so it was now or never.

"I've tried to be respectful, but your parents don't like me, Alycia," I started, meeting her eyes. "I can't stay here any longer whilst they do what they're doing. I just want to go home. This whole week has been a train wreck."

She sighed dragging her hand down her face. "I know."

I sighed too, looking down with embarrassment. "I know you don't like Clayton. But seeing him with you doesn't feel good. It's not that I don't trust you, but I can't help it if I feel jealous sometimes. Especially when I'm here because of you. I don't know. It just sucks."

She rested her cuffed hand on mine, rubbing her thumb gently. "I feel the same with you and Millie. And it wasn't fair of me to accuse you of anything. I was just pissed because you already hated me and she was making you smile and I got stupidly jealous."

I frowned, meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry to make you feel like that. I don't hate you, Alycia. I've just been upset. I'm not usually the jealous type and it got ugly."

"You're not," she agreed. "Neither am I. I guess this whole trip has just pulled us apart, huh?"

I hummed in agreement, leaning on the side of the tub with my elbow. I didn't know where to go with this. Her dad wasn't listening and that couldn't be changed. So, now what?

"I love you," she said, earning my attention. "I want to make things right. And that starts with you being comfortable. So, we'll leave tomorrow."

"It's your family, we can't just leave."

She lifted a brow. "Wanna bet?"

I gave her a knowing look. "Alycia. No. Look, I'll go. You stay. I'll see you back home in a few days."

"I'm not staying without you, and you don't want to stay, so we go together," she insisted, moving closer to me, unbothered by the fact that she was chest deep in water. "Besides, I don't really want to stay either. Not when my girlfriend is being shit on time and time again."

That was all I'd wanted to hear, selfishly enough.

"You're sure?" I asked. "I'll stay if you really want me to. And I won't sulk."

She cracked a smile. "I'm sure, love. We've been here long enough."

I nodded, relieved. "Thank you, Alycia."

"Thank you," she corrected. "For being so patient."

I gave her a small smile, before nodding to her clothes. "Take them off, idiot. You've already made a mess from jumping in here."

She laughed, pulling off her clothes whilst still in the water, only making a further mess of water on the floor. I rolled my eyes but gladly pulled her towards me, struggling at first but managing to keep her between my legs and hold her tight.

"Sorry, I was jealous," I mumbled into her shoulder.

She kissed my cheek and leaned back. "Me, too. And I'm sorry I couldn't try the cake you made me. It looked really nice."

I sighed. "No, it didn't."

She began to smile, her body moving slightly as she held in a laugh. "Yeah, no, it didn't."

I squeezed her playfully, making her laugh properly, and refused to let go.

[stevie-petey]

could we get a blurb of one day steve went and visited her at work, just some goood friendly and fun banter and friendship and maybe accidental flirting while he helps her out and hangs around? 🫶

hi anon that i have zero clue who u are you !! and yes, i CAN give u a cute lil happy blurb

enjoy <3

“lets play two truths and one lie.”

you roll your eyes at steve. “didnt i tell you to quietly stack some books while i arrange the shelves?”

“but im bored,” he groans, following you as you straighten some books and start setting up a new display area.

“youre the one who insists on coming here every day. it’s summer now. go get some sun.”

steve blinks. “but youre in here.”

“and?”

“itd be boring without you, too.” he says, his face open and sweet as always. his candor is still something you arent used to. theres never anything hidden within his words.

you poke steves chest. “you need to figure out what you want, buddy.”

he grabs the hand thats poked him and tugs you close. “i wanna play two truths and one lie.”

he bats his eyes at you and your stomach flutters. youre insanely close to him now, hes still holding your hand, and he now rests his other hand on the small of your back in a way that makes you shiver in the june humidity. this close, you can see all the freckles that dot across his pretty face.

“i…” your words catch in your throat, which steve smirks at. sometimes you think he does these things purposefully, that he likes seeing you blush.

you pull away, not wanting to think too deeply into things. “fine. you go first, though.”

“yes!” steve does a happy dance, fist bumps the air, and then seems to remember that youre still there. he regains his composure and clears his throat. “okay. my first kiss was interrupted by her dad walking in and seeing us, im scared of the dark, and i was obsessed with frogs when i was younger.”

youre surprised by steves choices. theyre all so wildly random and bizarre. you think for a moment, stumped. he definitely seems like the type to be caught by a father, and what little kid doesnt love frogs?

“you’re not scared of the dark?” you finally guess.

steve cheers. “no! i win! im totally afraid of the dark, im human.”

“okay, so…” you nudge him. “what was the lie?”

“oh yeah. i was actually obsessed with toads, not frogs.”

you hit his chest. “thats cheating!”

“nuh uh. theyre different species. i won, just admit it, y/n. im like, totally better then you.”

“fine, wanna play it that way?” an evil grin spreads across your face. “my turn. ive never been kissed, my dream boyfriend is spider-man, and i have a cat named mews.”

steve answers immediately, confident in his answer. “easy. you dont have a cat named mews.”

“nope!” you go back to arranging a display, secretly elated you won. you turn back to steve and wink. “my dream boyfriend is peter parker.”

“but theyre the same person—hold on,” steve seems to realize something. “does that mean no ones ever kissed you?”

“never.” you turn now and notice that your friend is seemingly frozen in place, still processing the information youve just told him. he seems genuinely surprised.

steve is speechless. “but… i just thought—you know… youre just so you and—”

“and whats that supposed to mean?” you make a face.

“nothing bad, obviously! i just mean. well, c’mon. you gotta know what i mean—” steve is stumbling over his words with a panicked look on his face and you feel bad. you know what he meant, but you like watching him squirm.

you start to laugh. “relax, steve. im just messing with you.”

though in a way, it does kind of hurt. no ones ever shown an interest in you, but at least steve seems surprised by it. if the king of hearts was surprised by your pathetic love life, then maybe there was hope for you yet.

he exhales and rests a hand over his chest. “fuck, you gotta stop doing that.”

you smile but dont say anything else. the display still needs to be set, so you let the conversation die down and focus on it once more. youre not necessarily insecure about not having a first kiss or even a boyfriend, but it’s not your favorite topic, either.

then, after a few minutes of silence, just as you think steve has moved on, he of course has to speak.

“what if i kissed my fingers and then pressed them against your mouth—”

“steve?”

“yeah?”

“shut up and stack some books.”

“yes ma’am.”

[internalscream1ng]

My thoughts after Chapter 7

Spoilers for Tokyo Debunker below please continue with caution:

WOWIE WAS CHAPTER 7 A GOOD ONE!!!

I can say that Mortkranken is a very interesting dorm. And I could be bias because it's a shade of a blue or blue/green I like, but it's coming my favorite.

I know I pick and push calling Jiro a slut but it was mostly based on looks alone. Now actually seeing his character in play I can finally form an opinion on these two characters.

Opinions on Yuri and Jiro :

Jiro - Looks alone he was the one who stood out to be the most, I have a type of liking either assholes or dark gloomy guys in series and seeing Jiro was the cake on top ~ I enjoy seeing him fight and work, learning about him and his illness too was a plus side and I hope to learn more about his character even if it's a side mini thing I hope he returns in the main story.

Yuri - Not gonna lie, I knew his character looks seemed familiar turns out a buddy of mine sent me a photo of him and I proceeded to call him a teal hair Azul Ashengrotto - I do not apologize. I honestly adore this man with my being. He is a bit of a gobber but he is very smart ( obviously he is a doctor). He makes me giggle a bunch so I will definitely be thinking of him.

My thoughts on chapter 7:

I was actually happy that I didn't have to wait long for the Chapter since from when I got into Tokyo Debunker for the first time. Jumping into a new chapter for the new dorm is always exciting even after all we learned in the game up till now. I knew the MC curse wouldn't be solved so easily since now there is a marking on her neck, but it was a good way to introduce Mortkranken into the story line and the characters along with it.

However with the mutated anomaly was a freaky thing itself. But it was perfect in its own way. But I wished they gave us a sprites for the zombies. After Chapter 2, the way they made one for Takeru's ghost the details and the way he moved was so chilling it made me snapped back to the thoughts this had some horror themes to it.

The anomalies in Chapter One weren't scary but they had their own sprites like the characters and they also moved too, if you look closely you can see them swaying, better view as it is looking at their hands. I kind of wished they revisited the idea of Takeru's ghost sprites / it moving to the zombies in Chapter 7. I feel like it would give the players more of an eye opener or give the player some sort of thrill chill.

I won't sit here and complain about that, we can't all have what we want to think, but I think it would have been a nice idea.

Details I liked in Chapter 7:

I will keep this one short and simple:

Finally learning the anomaly name of the one who cursed MC, Kyklos.

Zenji being Jiro's brother

Zenji name being Taro Kirisaki ( does Jiro even remember him? Someone please let me know)

How bright and colorful the lab in Mortkranken was.

Jiro <3

Jiro and Yuri's relationship <3

The tree Towa was caring for getting better but worse at the end ;-;

Towa SPEAKING AGAIN his voice is WAHHHHH✨

Also Gala is on board

ALSO WHATEVER TAIGA WAS WEARING HELLO?! SIR?!

If you read this far thank you so much!!! I'll make a separate post on my theories, I am just tired and mad that it got deleted mid-post.. I'll make a whole new post on it later it's past 3am and I wanna unwind for a bit after playing. If you wanna ask me things please direct them to my Ask/Submissions in my bio <3

[thewalrusespublicist]

I straight up don’t think that story in skywriting set in Paris ever even remotely happened, I think this is John working through the mix of complex feelings he has about Paul in some sort of semi autobiographical fantasy/thought experiment type thing? I think it’s undeniable it’s about Paul, but wether or not the contents of it are true is a little more suspect, the thing is it’s not the point to me, like, the fact that he’s fantasising about having passionate hate love sex with his boy bestie is the real convicting evidence 😭

Hi Anon,

Pretty much entirely agree! Not going to lie, I love this section of Skywriting as it’s so tantalising. Like what's fact and what's fiction? Where does fantasy overtake the narrative entirely and when does reality trickle through? The line between the two is often blurred in Skywriting as it is in most of John’s creative work.

As to it being an entirely fantastical thought experiment or a semi-autobiographical, I think I lean towards the latter only in the broadest sense.

*One sec, lemme adjust my tin-hat.*

I’m pretty much on the bandwagon that this section is a highly embellished, fantastical account of the summer of 66’ or a pastiche of trips to Paris. John, as he does elsewhere in Skywriting, obscures or replaces the real life event or word with clever wordplay and surrealist imagery. Instead of putting that he was acting abroad in Spain, he uses a play on ‘method acting’ to come up with ‘methodist acting’ and invents a more ‘exotic’ location of Jamaica. Instead of saying he met up with Paul and co in Paris, he gets a summons from Aime to go to Paris. Whilst the name Aime is obviously part of the allusions to homosexuality and the surreal angle, ‘aime’ nevertheless means ‘friend’ in french. Less discussed is the fact that Aime is also a comrade, which by definition is a friend or someone who works in the same organisation as you or is a fellow soldier. ‘Military buddies’ anyone? So he’s being summoned by someone he defines as being his friend and ‘brother-in-arms’. Pinning it down further to the summer of 66’ is the ‘God Only Knows’ reference. This to me is where I threw my hands up because well, wouldn’t you know guess whose favourite song it is and who played it to death in 66’:

(On the influence of Pet sounds on John)

PAUL: I played it to John so much that it would be difficult for him to escape the influence. If records had a director within a band, I sort of directed Pepper. And my influence was basically the Pet Sounds album. John was influenced by it, perhaps not as much as me. It was certainly a record we all played – it was the record of the time, you know?

To add to all this, you have:

staying at the George V, the same place John and Paul stayed at when they went to Paris the second time in 64’ (I couldn't find where they stayed in 66’ but it may have been the same hotel).

 ‘the underlying bastard’ of their relationship which has many possible meanings when it comes to John and Paul (jealousy, competitiveness etc.)

 dating of ‘three months’ before a big fall out. Three months takes us nowhere … but three years takes us to 1969 when things really started to go to hell for them

Then leaving in a seething rage but being like a force fed baby about them… a pretty great description of growing up loving someone and spending so much time with them from a young age or just being bombarded with information and memories about someone like John was with Paul in the 70s

Pure tin hat bollocks ignore me but the 'don't take me for granite Perry', 'Never' I sang reminds me so much of the Oh! Darling recording sessions.

The move from the third to first person in the last part of the section. It could be John acting as an omniscient narrator or revealing that there are certain truths to the story that affect him personally

 ‘To this day, his memories of her are clear and fresh.  Like a force-fed baby, he’ll never forget, and neither, I hope, will she.’’

So yes, whilst I am open to it being coincidental and just pure fantasy, I do think it is at the very least a little inspired by that summer or by his trips to Paris in general. But if the Aime is/is inspired by anyone real, it’s Paul. Aside from the history of Paris in their relationship and the God Only Knows reference, there’s also that John’s Mon Pau Pau demo:

Source: https://got-ticket-to-ride.tumblr.com/post/733073861959139328/john-chanelling-a-french-singer-in-an-audio-from (thank you @got-ticket-to-ride, I don't know how the hell you got hold of this but amazing you did)

I’m unsure with the transcription of the ‘garter … prod’ as Dogget could be right and it’s cartier … throat (though as an aside it’s always wild to me that his transcription removes the Pau Pau section, surely he knew enough about the Beatles + solo work to immediately get the reference and significance?) Nevertheless, John’s in this demo places Paul in the role of a coquettish women which would give the section of Skywriting precedence.

So if it’s potentially autobiographical, how true is the sleeping together bit? Honestly, I agree that I doubt they did it for too many reasons to go into here. But then why on earth has he written this? The tone of the passage is quite light-hearted so I don't think it's delving into any real feeling of angst or forbidden desire. The best reason I could think of aside from a personal joke about the potential boundary-crossing of their relationship is that John is describing their songwriting process. I can't find them right now (which is driving me crazy) but there are a few quotes from Paul which talk about John and Paul taking it in turns to 'turn each other on' with their music. Maybe John was riffing off that supplanting the intense, emotional act of songwriting with sex? Or maybe Paul was a very loose inspiration and the characters and their sexual relationships became their own. It's so hard to decide and discern but absolutely, the fact that he is potentially willing to go there in his mind indicates at least some acknowledgement that maybe feelings/ the relationship wasn't 1000 percent platonic or blurred the boundaries of a standard heterosexual male friendshipfor the time.

[sheeple]

Miracles don’t exist | 3: Well-mannered friends

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): None this chapter [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

The welcome feast is as usual, delicious. The company also helps. This year, Hogwarts has the honour of hosting the Triwizard Tournament. After a speech about it, Dumbledore welcomes the other schools. 

First up is Beauxbatons, the magic school located in France. They only send their girls, which are absolutely beautiful, with their blue silk uniforms and butterflies.

Next up is Durmstrang. My oh my. What do they feed those boys up in the north? Everybody obviously starts to point and whisper as Victor Krum. Draco bounces excitedly up and down the bench.

"I would assume you are far too distracted by Krum to even notice any of the French girls, even the Vila one", you tease Draco, which earns you a glare in return.

The French students take place on the Ravenclaw table and the Durmstrang boys make their way over to your table. You try not to stare at them, so you turn towards the conversation Draco is having with his friends. 

Suddenly, someone clears their throat and you all turn around. A tall guy with dark green eyes and blond hair stands in front of his group of four friends, all equally tall. "Can we sit here?", he points towards the empty space around you.

You nod, dazzled by his sharp jawline and accent. The guys send you smiles before sitting down and conversing among themselves in their native language.

"Who's distracted now?" Draco gives you a shit-eating grin. You give him a push, which makes him fly off the bench.

The Durmstrang guys snicker at your cousin as he jumps back up, whipping his hair back in the process. His friends also laugh but shut up as he gives them a glare.

"Talk shit, eat shit, buddy", you muse, batting your eyelashes at him innocently.

This makes the blond guy bellow a hearty laugh. "You are a very funny girl. My name is Gjol Lundström." He reaches out a big hand for you to shake.

"And she's not interested." Draco narrows his eyes at Gjol while he pushes the blond's hand away.

But, before he has a chance, you slap Draco's hand away. "I'm sorry. My cousin-", you glare at him, "thinks he has to be a big brother. (Y/n) Black, nice to meet you." You shake Gjol's hand. It's warm, firm, and rough with calluses. And on top of that, it engulfs yours completely.

You quickly let go of his hand to not make it awkward. And also because the food has arrived. Golden plates upon golden plates appear with the most delicious meats, vegetables, and freshly baked bread.

You don't particularly fancy the scrutinizing stare Draco gives you, so you turn towards the Durmstrang boys. "I saw your ship arrive, it's truly magnificent. I do hope the trip to Hogwarts wasn't too long."

Gjol nods as he swallows a big bite of pork. "Sailing the seas has always been a passion of mine, so I did not mind it. But Sigge." He elbows the boy next to him, getting a side-eye in return. Another one sniggers as he motions to me the gesture of puking.

You giggle, turning to the boy- Sigge, and give him a reassuring smile. "Oh, I don't blame you. My stomach isn't strong enough either to handle the waves." That's a lie. You never had set foot on a boat. But you can imagine Sigge needs a bit of solace.

This makes Sigge open up, going on about how he begged his teachers if he could take a Portkey or even fly. But their Headmaster made this big deal about arriving in style.

"So, are you going to join the tournament?", asks Gjol.

You shake your head. "Nah, I'm not old enough to participate. And besides that, I don't think my family would approve of me putting myself in danger for 'eternal glory'. And what about you guys?"

"Sigge and I are both one year too young. But Bjarne could. He is not going to, though. Headmaster Karkaroff appointed a hand full of students he deems worthy of participating. Bjarne is too skinny. Not enough meat on his bones." Both boys chuckle as they shoot a dark-haired boy on the other side of Sigge's teasing looks.

Bjarne starts to mumble and grumble some things in his native tongue, what you can only imagine to are swears, by the looks of the others.

The rest of dinner goes by without a hitch. The three Durmstrang boys and you talked some more, exchanging stories about your respective schools before they needed to leave. They say goodbye with wide smiles and promise to visit Hogsmeade together.

You also get up to walk towards the Slytherin dorm when a tall figure appears next to you. Blaise gives you something that resembles a smile, but you're not entirely sure.

"Let me walk you back as Nott is... occupied at the moment." He looks smug as you both look over your shoulders, Theodore looking rather miserable as the Bloody Baron is talking rather at him, than with him.

The closer you get to the dungeons, the colder it gets and the more you pluck at your fingers and nails. You don't know what to say, and neither he makes any effort to start a conversation. 

"Thanks for walking me back", you say quickly as the two of you enter the common room. You make your way towards your bedroom and drop yourself on the bed, groaning into your pillow.

Daphne looks up from her bed as she is brushing her hair. "The year has barely started and you're already huffing and puffing away."

You roll over so you are laying on your back. "I just know it's going to be a hard year, Daph. Count my words."

The morning of the first day has gone by without a hitch. While Draco and his gang have Arithmancy before Defence Against the Dark Arts, you have Muggle Studies. This makes you come in later than them into the DADA classroom, having all the empty spots near Draco taken up by his friends.

Theodore spots you and practically shoves Lorenzo from the spot next to him. But you quickly see two empty tables near the front.

As you flip through the textbook, not expecting a book bag to drop on the table next to you, you jump a metre in the air as Hermione reluctantly takes place. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she glares at something ─ or someone ─ behind you.

"Are you... are you okay?", you ask hesitantly, wondering if she's ill. Hermione has never batted an eyelash at you, let alone taken up space next to you. You have never interacted or even looked at each other. At least, not before the train ride.

Hermione sharply turns her head towards you. "I'm quite fine, thank you very much."

You watch how Harry and Ron take place in front of you. Harry gives Hermione a look, and the girl sighs.

"Do you- do you like Defence Against the Dark Arts?" She looks almost pained to ask that.

You shrug. "It's fine, I guess. It's a very important subject. But why are you sitting next to me?" She looks at you disgruntled before you continue, "yesterday, you were saying that there aren't any good Slytherins."

This makes her turn scarlet, matching her tie. Ron visibly shrinks in his seat and Harry turns around, his eyes apologetic.

"Well... Maybe Slytherins just need well-mannered friends", she huffs out quickly as the doors to the classroom and in storms Mad-Eye Moody.

Harry and you make eye contact. You know damn well it's Harry who pushed Hermione to be friendly-er towards you. After all, it's what he has been saying for a year now.

"You always look so lonely. Why don't you have any friends?", Harry asks one evening as you sit on one of the many forgotten staircases.

You scoff. "Who would want to be seen with me? If it wasn't because I am related to Draco, it is because of my last name."

"I can be your friend if you would like? We don't have to be seen together if what your family would think scares you. It could be our secret."

A smile forms on your face. It's no surprise to you that Harry would know that neither Draco nor your aunt and uncle would approve of your friendship with the Chosen One. After all, he is the one true enemy of your father. And you shouldn't be fraternising with the enemy.

Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover​ @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry​ @choppedpartymuffinwinner​

[msrhaxoz]

Meeting with Haarlep

I wanted to write a fanfiction, but I couldn't do it. But the other day I got into a conversation with my new buddy who asked me a few words about my character. When I started writing about him I remembered all the things I wanted to write so badly. I almost cried. I can't write, I don't practice it, but I think if I don't try now I'll never try.

Short preface

ㅤBy that time Otto had served in the House of Hope for more than a hundred years. It so happened that apart from Korilla and Raphael he had no contact with anyone and rarely communicated with other residents of the house.

ㅤOtto first met Haarlep quite by chance when he passed by the master of the house's chambers. Otto saw Raphael in bandage clothes and was shocked. Well, we understand who it really was. When Haarlep saw the dark elf through the foggy door, Otto immediately ran away.

ㅤI think Otto had a crisis after this situation sgsjdhjsshl andjerkedoff

ㅤThe second time, Haarlep himself made contact with the elf out of self-interest. Otto was extremely tired that day. When he was making notes somewhere in the House of Hope, he turned around and met the incubus. 

smth like that adklsajdl

ㅤHaarlep led the elf into the boudoir with a short conversation.

ㅤ– You have nothing to worry about since I brought you here. 

ㅤOtto knew it was a lie. Obviously he was not allowed to be here. But how to refuse an incubus? Should he obey? Why does this fiend look so much like a master of the house? 

ㅤOtto followed him anyway despite the inner horror. And when Haarlep stopped by the bed, he began to talk calmly. 

ㅤAnd every word he said was like a knife to the heart.

ㅤ– I noticed you a long time ago, Raphael's most loyal mouse. What a shame that your abilities were never evaluated. I wonder, how many years should it be before you're really noticed? Such a pitiful mouse...

ㅤOtto opened his eyes wide and didn't take his eyes off the incubus's hands. Haarlep runs his fingers gently over his palm and smiles warmly.

ㅤAt that moment the incubus didn't even have to resort to his natural charm. Although he expected that the elf would react either with anger, or be embarrassed, or, unlikely, pounce in hot intercourse, but...

ㅤHeavy tears poured down the cheeks of the young drow. He kept his eyes on his hand. He was so ashamed of his tears. He understood that it was too late to run and it was pointless. He had already humiliated himself in front of the incubus who was silently watching his unstable reaction.

ㅤAfter tears, Otto asked hoarsely: ㅤ– What do you need from me? Have you decided to revel in my tears, my miserable condition? ㅤHaarlep replied calmly, with a soft smile.

ㅤ– Not at all. I can simply give you what you've been dreaming about for years. ㅤAfter a few seconds of silence, Otto began to slowly pull off his clothes, trying not to look at the incubus. Although he felt the excited gaze on him. When the clothes were on the floor Otto stumbled slightly on his underwear. But after taking a deep breath he took off the last piece of clothing and, still not looking up at Haarlep, sat on his lap, timidly placing his hands on the strong shoulders.

ㅤ– Good boy.

ㅤThe sweet whisper sent goosebumps all over Otto's body.

ㅤThe dark elf trembled at every touch. In the hands of the incubus he was like a fragile doll. The elf didn’t resist the foreplay, but didn’t respond in any way, as if he was not letting Haarlep approach him. This turned him on. Haarlep wanted to explore his body, he wanted to find out his weak points. He wanted Otto to reveal his soul on his own.

ㅤKisses from ear to collarbone, sliding hands on the waist, hot breath on the skin. Haarlep hugged the graceful body, inhaled its fragrance, felt its heat.

ㅤIn an instant, Otto was under him. Defenseless and terribly embarrassed. Out of habit he began hugging his shoulders, involuntarily closing himself off from the incubus. And Haarlep's smile didn't calm him down either. ㅤOtto felt terrible fear. His thoughts were filled with the anger of the owner of the House of Hope. As if he was going to come and burn him now. It's as if Raphael is delaying the moment, allowing the young man to have fun and later subjects him to excruciating tortures ㅤHaarlep didn’t like Otto's remoteness. But because of that the thirst to break his will grew. How stubborn this drow was. ㅤ– You like it, don't you? – the incubus interrupted the flow of thoughts of the young elf, running a claw over Otto's stomach, – Do you like being touched?ㅤThe claw slowly reached the pubis. The tremor gripped the elf's body again, all thoughts focused on this moment. Otto squeezed his eyes shut, turned his head away from Haarlep. And at this moment, as if expecting such a reaction, Haarlep gifted the young elf a thousand touches. With a faint touch of his fingers on the drow chest, he made circles on the pale skin. He left light scarlet stripes with his claws. Haarlep warmed his waist and hips with hot palms. Pressed his dry lips to Otto’s neck. He was biting his ears. ㅤIt was treacherously pleasant. The elf's body responded to every touch. He was burning from the inside out, his voice was trembling. Heart ached with pain. But the soul remained in turmoil.  This struggle, which Haarlep felt, argued with a rush of pleasure. Otto didn't resist the incubus, he resisted himself. ㅤHowever, he couldn't fight the urge for long. Otto dared to meet him, he opened his eyes and saw the familiar face of his master.

ㅤHis breathing was choked off and the drow's eyes filled with bitter tears. The smile was so familiar, but at the same time so alien... No, Otto was simply mistaken. But one mistake was enough to make emotions flare up with renewed vigor. He groaned and covered his face with hands, showing the incubus all that pain, that despair, that hopelessness that has haunted him for centuries. ㅤHaarlep stopped. Otto couldn't see his face, but he was sure the incubus was smiling mockingly, he was reveling in his position. But a minute passes, two. Otto did not hear the fiend's voice above him, not even a slight grin. Haarlep gave him a moment to understand his feelings again. ㅤOtto trembled for a long time under the fiend. He looked extremely helpless. And his thoughts were so loud that it seemed like every devil in the hells could hear him. He didn’t know these feelings, he didn’t understand whether he was doing the right thing towards himself and especially towards his master. When Otto finally regained relative consciousness, and the burning of tears became unbearable to endure, he timidly removed his hands from the face, but left one on his mouth. His gaze was full of bitterness. The young elf was afraid of condemnation for his desires and expected anger for the lost moment. ㅤThe drow dared to look into the burning eyes. There was no mockery on Haarlep's face. He was calm, even mildly interested. Otto looked at him expectantly, trying to detect at least a grain of mockery in his gaze, but Haarlep did not smile. ㅤThis involuntarily made the drow sigh and he put his hand on the bed. The incubus slowly reached out to him with his hand, but Otto suddenly intercepted it and squeezed it. ㅤ– Can you hold me?... ㅤHaarlep smiled back, but this time his smile was sincere. It was as if he was momentarily overcome with pride at the young drow's request. ㅤThe incubus slowly hugged the emaciated body. He lowered his wings, put his hand on the top of Otto's head as the other wrapped around his back. The drow held his breath for a few seconds, his body was tense, but on exhaling he finally softened in Haarlep’s arms. ㅤHaarlep stared into the distance without blinking. Oh, how sweet this young drow is. Despite the breakthrough of emotions, he was still overwhelmed with feelings, pleasure, fear and... something indescribable. How can there be so many conflicting emotions in one body? Fascinating. ㅤWhat a pity that all these feelings are dedicated to someone who will never appreciate it. ㅤThe hug lasted a long time. Otto only shuddered and sniffed a little, diluting the silence. When the weight of emotion finally left, he let go of the incubus, burying his forehead in his chest. Otto has nothing to say. ㅤHowever, he heard a sweet whisper in his ear. ㅤ– Shall we continue?