#obligatory i wasn’t looking at it to take this preface

[lavampira]

solar eclipse / 04.08.24

[diazsdimples]

🩰🤠🤸‍♂️🫃🧗‍♂️⚕️❄️🕵️‍♂️👨‍🍼

lol this might be too much but im so interested in every wip 😅

😅 3 sentences of everything! Right away!

🩰 - Ballet AU

“You could probably do with some competition,” Tommy replies with a smirk. Buck definitely feels like he’s intruding now. Eddie’s hand runs down Tommy’s chest as he hums in agreement, and their lips meet in a chaste kiss.

🤠 - Bathena Ranch AU

Bobby wrenches the screen from Buck’s grasp, hurriedly exiting the game. His face burns, as though he’s been caught watching something NSFW, rather than building his dream home on a game designed for people with god complexes. “I wasn’t playing a video game,” he responds, keeping an outwardly cool exterior.

🤸‍♂️ - Olympics AU

Buck lines himself up and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and pictures himself running down the stretch between him and the vault, imagines his body twisting as he jumps – his ritual before any routine. Now, if he could just be normal in front of Tommy Kinard and not fuck this vault up, that would be great.

🫃- The Birth Fic (Buddietommyshannon)

“He’s just taking a bath, Eddie, he’s fine. Little Miss kept him up kicking all night so he’s probably just relaxing a bit,” Tommy replies, running a hand through Eddie’s hair. Eddie opens his mouth but Shannon cuts him off, the hand that had originally been resting on her belly coming to stroke across Eddie’s arm.

🧗‍♂️ - Disaster Date Fic

Something pings in the back of Tommy’s brain, and he understands how it looks. A 9-1-1 call which involves her brother’s boyfriends – it’s understandable Maddie’s a little terse. “Evan’s fine, he’s at home,” Tommy prefaces, getting that bit out of the way first.

⚕️ - Doctor AU

“Actually, he’s due to trial a bottle now, if you wanted to give that a go?” Eddie looks up at Buck, bewildered. Sure he’s got his own experience with babies in the NICU – his son had spent a lot of time there in his first months of life – but this is so far out of his area of expertise

❄️- Frostpunk AU

Eddie sighs, resting his splintered hands on his thighs. Buck will find out one way or another, it’s best it happens sooner or later. “Fine,” he begins.

🕵️‍♂️ - Man in the High Castle AU

He swallows thickly, laying the receiver back down again, and hastily makes his way from the room. It’s finally happening, he’s finally going to be of some use in this damn fight! A chance to stick it to his parents after years of ignoring him, treating him like he’s no more than an insect on a rug.

👨‍🍼 - Ranch AU (Alfieverse)

“I’m sure Alfie will be a very well-behaved boy,” Bobby smirks, looking between Buck and Tommy. “He’ll sleep in until 8am and then very politely ask if he can open his presents.” “Not with Evan’s DNA in there he won’t,” Tommy grins, and Buck feels himself flush.

Tagging @hippolotamus and @theotherbuckley as my obligatory "I wrote something please love me" tag and @slightlyobsessedwitheverything because Alfie and the twins!!

Make Me Write!

[bigpeepee]

The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you

A/N

The cowboy priest Owen Wilson fic that apparently people need in their life. A perfectly healthy and normal way to get back into writing after 5 years. With obligatory lyrics title because it's The Law. Just be thankful I didn't use parenthesis.

Forewarning, this first chapter isn't juicy at all (unfortunately) but I felt like a bit of an introduction was needed.

I should probably also preface this by saying that I'm not a writer, I'm just a horny bitch with a priest kink. This doesn't even feel like an actual fic to me, it's literally just brainworms soup that I wanted to share with my fellow horny bitches with a priest kink!

Also NO BETA WE DIE LIKE MY FAITH <3

⠀

CHAPTER 1

You walk down the aisle, footsteps soft on the marble floor, fingers brushing the wooden pews. Coming here at lunchtime was a good idea: there's nobody around, just you and the stone walls and the sunshine filtering through the colourful stained glass windows in the apse. It's weird how even silence seems to echo in a cathedral.

If you look carefully, it's easy to tell this is not really a medieval church. But it gives you the same feeling of littleness, like you're but a small mouse in a big unalterable world, like your life is not that relevant and your mistakes not that important.

You sit down on a bench near the front and close your eyes. Yes, it's definitely close enough, you almost feel like you're back home.

At least until a sudden, loud noise startles you, making you shriek (in hindsight, quite embarrassingly).

"I'm so sorry!" You hear someone say in a thick southern accent "Sorry, I disturbed your prayer…"

You turn around to see the source of the commotion. It's a priest, with a full head of messy blond hair, not quite long but not short either. He shoots you an apologetic smile as he gathers the mess of silverware at his feet.

“Oh, it’s okay,” you say with a smile, “I wasn’t praying.”

“You weren’t?” He says, still smiling but now looking a bit confused.

You laugh. “Not really. Just… enjoying the atmosphere I guess.”

“Well, sorry for ruining the atmosphere then,” he says, bowing his head slightly. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Do you need help with that?” You ask, gesturing towards the pile of plates and goblets in his hands.

“Oh no, don’t worry, I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

You watch him walk away. He turns around and shoots you one last smile before he walks through a door. You keep staring at the spot where he disappeared for a bit longer, with a strange feeling in your gut. Like something’s happened, though you don’t quite know what.

⠀

You try to get back to your previous relaxed mood for a while but to no avail, so you decide to just give up and take a walk instead. You find a door in the transept that leads to a cloister, and from there you reach the back garden. Frankly, it seems more like a park than a garden: you can’t even see the edges of it.

You don’t wander too far off, and just sit down on a four-step stone staircase invaded by grass and covered in fallen maple leaves, staring at the green and orange expanse in front of you.

As you’re sitting there, breathing in the fresh autumn air, you see a cat approaching wearily. It’s black, with white patches on his chest and snout. You smile and slowly reach out your hand, clicking your tongue. The cat seems more than happy to get some attention: it runs towards you and immediately starts rubbing against your legs, and as soon as you start petting his head, it jumps on your lap. Well, you certainly can’t go away now. What are you supposed to do, shoo away a cat that chose you as a pillow? Not a chance.

So this is how he finds you, half an hour later.

“Howdy again,” he says, slightly tilting his cowboy hat. A cowboy hat? Seriously? “You new around here? I don’t think I’ve seen ya before.”

“Not really,” you reply, “I moved here a couple of years ago, I just don’t usually go to church.”

“Right,” he says with a crooked smile, “you’re here just for the atmosphere. Gotta say, it’s not often you see someone come here for other reasons than praying, but it’s real nice to see a fresh face.”

"Yeah, it's just… I used to be a Christian," you explain, "and even though that didn't quite work out in the end, I’m from Italy and old churches are just part of the culture. Or at least they are for me. And I’ve always loved the feeling you get when you’re in an empty cathedral. Makes you feel completely irrelevant and yet extremely alive at the same time.” You frown, thoughtful. “It’s a bit like walking in the woods, or standing in the rain.”

He sits down next to you and begins to pet the cat. He looks at you, and it’s almost unsettling, it feels like he’s piercing right through your soul. He has blue eyes, you notice. Very beautiful blue eyes. You shake your head slightly, trying to push away any untoward thoughts, and smile. “Anyway. I moved to Vermont a while ago, and as much as I love it here, everything is so different. I do miss home sometimes. So when I found out there was a church that could actually pass for one of the ones we have there, I thought I’d check it out.”

“Well,” he says (and wow, his eyes are very blue), “feel free to come ‘round whenever you like, ma’am.”

“Alright,” you chuckle, “but just so we’re clear, you’re not gonna pull me back into the whole church thing. That’s just not happening.”

“Damn, now you're making it sound like a challenge!” He winks, he honest to god winks, and oh you’re fucked, you’re so fucked. “Nah, I’m kidding, I’m not gonna bug ya. Just come ‘round anytime, no strings attached, I promise.”

You nod softly, not quite trusting your voice after the minor heart attack he gave you just a few seconds ago, and the two of you stay there for a while longer, fingers brushing every so often, every pretence of innocent thoughts banished from your mind at this point.

After a couple of minutes of silence you clear your throat and nod towards the cat. “What’s its name?” you ask.

“Artemis. She earned that name after she brought me five different dead mice on her first day here. Luckily enough, she never tried to hunt one of our animals. We have a farm, further down in that direction,” he explains, pointing towards your right. “A couple of cows, a few chickens and pigs, and a horse. Not much, but I’ll be honest, it’s more for my own good than anything else. Sometimes it gets a bit lonely and boring around here, and those little devils certainly help with both. Speaking of which,” he adds, patting your shoulder and getting up, “I should go check up on them. Have fun with Artemis, but don’t spoil her too much!”

You smile brightly. “Oh no, I’m sorry but I will! I have to make sure she loves me.”

He looks at you in a way you can’t quite figure out. He stays quiet for a few seconds, then he breathes out a soft “yeah, I bet she will” and starts walking away.

He’s already quite far away when he turns around and shouts “I’m Father Owen, by the way!” You shout your name back at him, he tips his hat and, with a final “see you ‘round”, he’s off again.

⠀

He does see you around. Quite often, actually.

It’s just that you really like the stone walls, honestly. And the cat. And yes, maybe the hot cowboy priest - three words that should make no sense combined, and yet apparently they do.

And you know that it’s not right, he has his vows, which at the end of the day are not that different from a marriage for him. Except they are different, because in this case nobody would get hurt if, say, he fucked you on the altar after closing time. Well, maybe somebody might get hurt, but in a good way.

At first you try not to make it a regular occurrence, but you end up going there at least once a week, and somehow every time Owen (Father Owen, you try to remind yourself, though it doesn’t quite have the results you were hoping for) seems to need help with something, or he really has to show you a painting, or he wants you to meet a new animal in the farm. But every time they sound more and more like excuses, especially considering how quickly they all develop into hours-long walks in the garden, talking about anything and everything.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t push religious subjects that often. You do talk about them every now and then, but it feels more of a relief than a burden. He doesn’t get preachy, he doesn’t try to persuade you, and he seems to genuinely listen to your grievances. It's refreshing, really. He shares his views, you share yours, but disagreements never feel like a war that only one of you can win.

You do try to stay away from more touchy subjects, though, steering the conversation away whenever it seems to get uncomfortably close to sexuality and sex. Partially because you want to postpone the moment you will inevitably hear him say the same bullshit you’ve been hearing for as long as you can remember, but most of all because you have a feeling that if you heard the word “sex” coming out of his mouth (a mouth with unfairly soft-looking lips, by the way), you might spontaneously combust.

This whole thing is getting really hard to navigate, and honestly you would deserve an award for keeping your hands to yourself. Well, mostly to yourself. But he doesn’t seem to mind the occasional casual touch (absolutely casual, not intentional at all), and if anything he gives his fair share of those. And after all, you have never vowed to be a saint, have you?

[cel-studies-stuff]

hi there! i’m a high schooler and i’m seriously considering majoring in computer science when the time comes. do you think you could maybe talk a little bit about what it’s like studying comp sci? if you can. i hope you’re having a great day

hope you’re having a great day too!

What my first year of studying computer science was like

obligatory preface that courses differ between universities and colleges. i study in australia.

The biggest challenge I faced per se going into comp sci was how nothing I did at school prepared me for it. The kind of content I’ve learnt wasn’t similiar to school and the assignments have been very different. No analytical essays and scientific reports for me (there has been essays and reports tho). In my school IT class I learnt basic HTML and CSS which was the only programming knowledge I went into comp sci with. (Id also gotten pretty far on khan academy’s JavaScript course in like year ten but I’ve forgotten all of that now lol).

I have four units a semester and have completed my first year (of 3, although I’m taking less units this year so I’ll finish in 3.5 years).

What I actually did in my first year:

Semester 1 (pre-major picking, two of these were for the other major option)

Learnt general computer hardware and how it functions. The assignment was using a raspberry pi to do something that used hardware (the pi), software (basic code) and the internet (I used twitter). My project is on Twitter at SunsetIFB102

Group project app design stages. Like drawing the layouts, getting feedback, then digital sketches then semi fancy looking sketches (not comp sci major)

Python! I really liked this. Taught the basics of python and in general programming. It was kind of intimidating how many people had coded before so I had to focus on ignoring them and learning for myself. Also really salty I was 1% off a high distinction for the whole unit AGH

Databases and SQL. This would’ve been a useful unit if the lecturer was, how do I put this kindly, good at his job. (Not comp sci major, although definitely use databases later on)

Semester two (all comp sci major)

C# , basics of object oriented programming principles. Which is a fancy way of saying it taught how you should write your code so it’s laid out effectively.

C, how to program microprocessors. Basically how to program hardware machines. C is mostly used for machines like ATMs, a fridge perhaps, probably a roomba and other single purpose kind of things. Also from this I can program arduinos and read arduino code easier since arduino code is a C/C++ hybrid. (This and the previous unit had high fail rates and were honestly Tough)

Information security (apart of network security minor) This unit talked about processes of protecting information in organisations and on a single person level. Basics of cryptography was discussed and hashes and how ways information is kept secure when transferring between objects (like over the internet)

Computation mathematics (apart of intelligent systems minor). This was a weird unit to me and was mostly math majors. It taught all these different equations which allow you to make approximations. Honestly confused how it’s used for computers but we learnt MATLAB and it’s a pre requisite for an intro to robotics unit I’m taking this year :)

So yeah, that’s an account of what I actually studied. Reading over it it seems way more impressive than it probably was. Computer science isn’t easy (well, unless you want to scrape a pass each time) but it isn’t horribly difficult. It’s how different it is to high school work that can trip you up. I can’t make aesthetic studyblr notes on paper because its all on my computer and can’t turn it off when studying because I need it.

My assignments are typically big coding projects, exams (multiple choice if a coding unit) and essays if it deals with theory (like info sec did).

This coming semester I’m learning Java and GUI’s (graphical user interfaces), JavaScript and HTML and whatever else for web applications, and discrete maths which seems to be for notation used later on... it looks very strange.

Hope this helps! If you have any more questions feel free to DM me!

Also if anyone else wants to add their experiences, feel free to reblog with your tips.

[trick-photography1]

Are there any comics you're reading now that you'd recommend?

Oooh, comic recs. This ask makes me so happy!!! How much time do you have?

Alright, well let me preface this by saying I primarily read Marvel. Right now I’m rereading the Jason Aaron run of Jane Foster’s Mighty Thor which was AMAZING so I highly recommend that one. (Shameless self promotion, but I wrote a fic about that story - I love those comics so much.)

Before COVID, I was reading the following titles:

Star (which is a spin off of Captain Marvel where Riley was pulled into some shenanigans, came back as a hero who was actually a villain)

Hawkeye: Freefall because… Hawkeye being a bit of a fail boat and just generally a good story that pulls in a lot of other Marvel characters

Valkyrie: Jane Foster which is a continuation of her story in the Mighty Thor comics

Captain Marvel

Captain America

Ms. Marvel

Falcon & Winter Soldier (BUCKY WITH A CAT ON A MOTORCYCLE!)

Right now new comics are kind of on a pause and it’s kinda hard to figure out what Marvel is putting out. I know they pushed the last 2 Star and Hawkeyes out on digital.

Looking at my older stuff, the first comic I actually bought was an omnibus of Brubaker’s Captain America where he introduces the Winter Soldier, and then the Death of Captain America where we get BuckyCap. Those will always hold a special place in my heart, and I go back and reference them sometimes when I’m writing fic.

If you’re looking for a more fun dynamic, I really loved Tales of Suspense: Hawkeye and Winter Soldier which is a short run team up where they’re trying to track down someone who is killing Nat’s old enemies (I have not and will not read Secret Empire Nazi Cap  but all you need to know is that Nazi Cap kills Nat during the run, which they cover in the beginning). Her two ex boyfriends think she may actually be alive and go looking for her which leads to some amazing snarky interactions between the two.

Winter Soldier: Second Chances is a more recent short run where Bucky is basically running a witness protection situation for reformed villain minions that are trying to get out of the life. He ends up taking a kid under his wing and trying to figure out how to help a young kid being forced to kill.

Nathan Edmondson’s 2014 Black Widow run with Phil Noto is hands down one of my favorite story and artwork combos. Not only do you get to see Nat being a bad ass, you also get to see her in her daily life and trying to make a difference. This story brought in a ton of additional characters from Bucky and Clint to X-23 and Frank Castle, and even a surprise cameo by Anderson Cooper!

Here’s the obligatory rec for Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye run. Amazing, loved it but you can read a million other people’s rave reviews.

One run that I actually really enjoyed but kind of started on a whim was Chelsea Cain’s 2016 Mockingbird. I started reading it because I was interested in Bobbi Morse on Agents of SHIELD and DAMN did I find out how much of a badass she was on her own. The story starts out with her going to a SHIELD clinic because she’s got to get weekly check ups and is kind of starting to get some superpowers. Clint and Lance Hunter, her ex’s, are featured in the story.

Charles Soule’s 2014 She Hulk run is another favorite. I love extremely competent lawyer Jennifer Walters who just happens to also be 7 foot tall emerald green She-Hulk. The story follows her starting at a new practice and trying to balance her drive to help the little guy with needing to charge billable hours. It also intersects with the old man Steve storyline when she represents him in a wrongful death suit facing off against Marvel’s other superhero lawyer Matt Murdock/Daredevil!

If you’re looking for a non-superhero comic, Ed Brubaker’s Fadeout is my favorite. It follows WW2 vet and Hollywood screenwriter Charlie Parish who wakes up from a blackout in the same room as a murdered starlet from the film he’s working on. This has the feel of an old Hollywood film noir who done it and talks about PTSD and the Red Scare. I do want to put a trigger warning on it that it does touch on sexual abuse but it isn’t explicit.

These are just the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. If I was at my apartment I’m sure I could pull a lot more of them.

As an aside, I know that getting into comics can kind of be cost prohibitive. While I 1000% recommend going in and supporting your local shop, I also know sites like GetComics.info are helpful if you just want to browse before diving in. I may have gotten a few off there myself when money was tight or I wasn’t super invested in a character. Just make sure you have a CBR program so you can read them once they’re downloaded.

Hope this helps! And happy reading!

[standandwatchshitburn]

Alright pholks I impulsively saw poto on broadway last night and here are my obligatory thoughts

First of all, let me preface by saying this was my first time seeing it live since I was 7, though I’ve seen so many boots that nothing was really unexpected. And without further preamble here are my thoughts in no particular order

- The overture is still my fav. The chandelier pyrotechnics were so dramatic and I had the perfect spot to see it go up. Activity on stage is rather boring but who cares my bones were vibrating

- Similarly, all the fog etc during the title song. Watching the candelabras come up? Good shit 👌🏻

-I’m not going to break down each cast member one by one, but I was super excited to see Jeremy Stolle. Unfortunately it became apparent pretty quickly that he must’ve been sick. If I wasn’t familiar with him, I might not have noticed, but he was lacking a lot of the richness in his timbre and he seemed to be taking it easy wherever he could afford to. Interestingly, this made it very clear which parts were pre-recorded. 🤷🏻‍♀️

- The managers somehow ended up being my favourite part? Just two good boys doing their best. 11/10

- There were moments where it sounded like Carlotta wasn’t mic’d. My boyfriend and I couldn’t figure it out. The lack of balance was a bit distracting, but this may be due to my overly technical brain which refuses to shut up (more on that later).

- I didn’t realise Erik actually runs around the proscenium arch. And pulls the chandelier cables! Terrifying. Get down at once.

- The chandelier drop really is comically slow, but our seats offered my bf and I excellent view of the people directly underneath it. Definitely one of the most entertaining points of the evening.

- The scene where the piano plays itself. We all agree this weird and unnecessary right? And then Christine just leaves? Explain.

- Loved being able to hear unscripted noises from other characters—gasps, etc. Especially Christine’s gasps during motn. Nice.

- Couldn’t see The Kiss (TM) but I saw The Hands and that was excellent

- Will producers actually shrivel up and die if they let their sopranos sing full voice? All these ladies have such complex, interesting sounds and it’s so much more powerful when they’re allowed to use it (end of Wishing, hello) instead of hide it away in favour of the Disney princess. Honestly it’s grating to listen to and it’s fatiguing on the voice. Do producers think we’re scared of classical training? Help me out here. I really don’t understand and I’m angry.

- On a similar note, some of the blocking really, really needs to be updated. I get that this production is the phenomenon that swept the world and is now too big to fail and audiences will come no matter what, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep the same arm gesture we did in 1986 simply because that’s what is done. I’m not talking about the large scale choreography (mostly), but the things that make you think Oh, X only did that because they were told to. It doesn’t look natural, or real, and it yanks me right out of the story and makes me laugh when I want to be sympathising with characters I love. There are so many gimmicks that made me feel like I was there to experience A Really Famous Show rather than a story. It felt dusty and irrelevant and it made me sad.

The restaged production isn’t a solution to this—it’s just different random gestures at different moments for the sake of newness. I want to say they should just give their performers more freedom to create something instead of replicate it, but with these kinds of productions that’s the opposite of how things are done, so. I dunno. I’m just going to be grumpy about it for awhile, I think.

- I also feel I should mention that my boyfriend hates poto (but came with me without complaint because he loves me. He also bought me m&ms at the train station bc he thought they would make me happy. I’m crying it’s fine) and seeing it in person did not sell him on it at all, but showing him the Leroux synopsis and other more horrific interpretations really fascinated him and he couldn’t understand why ALW decided to do it Like That instead. And if that isn’t the most poto mood.

Anyway. It was very cool and I want to see it again with new people. And if anyone wants to discuss, my ask/messages/this post are all open!

[magic-and-moonlit-wings]

Hi, why did Jim not like Strickler dating Barbara? With Trollhunter!Claire how would things play out in Unbecoming? If the show had kept AAARRRGGHH female, how would this affect it, both in the show and meta? And finally, you mentioned the gay subtext with Blinky and AAARRRGGHH, why didn't they make them a couple? I mean, ever since Korra and Steven Universe, LBGT representation has skyrocketed, I don't want to come across as a SJW, but I just wish that the show took more chances with itself.

Okay, well, I should preface my analysis of Jim’s reaction to Stricklake by saying my biological parents are happily married to each other, so I have never personally been in the position of ‘child whose single parent has started dating again’; and I only knew two kids in high school whose parents I knew were divorced, and they didn’t talk to me about their parents’ love lives; so I can only infer based primarily on media stereotypes.

There are a few reasons portrayed in media as to why the child of a single parent reacts negatively to that parent getting a new love interest.

We can rule out Jim hoping his biological parents will get back together, because James Senior is a complete nonentity in their lives. Jim only mentions him four times, all in the first season - twice to Barbara (“You remember when I was old enough to ask about Dad? Remember what you told me? You said, we just have to take care of each other. And that’s all I’m doing, Mom.”) (“Shrimp cakes? Gosh, I haven’t had those since … since …” “Dad made them for us?” “I didn’t think you were old enough to remember.” ”Oh, I remember enough. I remember how his beard used to scratch my face when he hugged me. How he used to make you laugh. But most of all how much he hurt you when he left.”), once to Bular (“You wanna see Dad. I get it, trust me. But we don’t always get what we want.”), and once to Blinky (“You know I don’t care about my father!”)

There is, popularly shown in media and I’m sure it comes up in real life too, a dissonance in a kid’s mind between their school and home lives, which makes it uncomfortable to have their parents and teachers interacting, exacerbated if the student is having some kind of difficulty at school. Jim reacts negatively to Barbara’s interest in Strickler before he even knows Strickler is a Changeling. (“So. Mr Strickler. He seems very nice. Is he single?” “What?! I don’t know!”) (“Did you seriously just ask my teacher out on a date?!”)

Jim assumes something like a caregiver role at home, taking care of food prep and household maintenance. The introduction of a new person into their lives could set off a reflexive response of, “No, we don’t need you, we’ve been managing just fine on our own.”

Jim’s also very protective. The precedent of Barbara having a relationship that ended badly means Jim might be worrying from the start that a new relationship will also end in her getting hurt.

Any change, positive or negative, creates a stress response while a person readjusts. Having his mother start dating again would be a big change for Jim. (We see no indication she’s done so in the past ten years, although it’s possible she did and the relationships just never got serious enough for her to introduce the person to her son, and it’s also possible that it just never came up because Barbara’s past relationships weren’t relevant in a show focusing primarily on Jim being the Trollhunter.)

And then, of course, Jim finds out Strickler is a Changeling, and thereafter views all of Strickler’s interactions with Barbara through the lens of “he’s trying to get to me and using my mom as both a weapon and a shield”, which is accurate for quite some time, and of course is going to make Jim angry and scared, and not going to warm him to the idea of them being together. 

An Unbecoming with Trollhunter!Claire raises the question of whether Not Enrique would still take Enrique’s place.

In canon, Enrique getting swapped was indirectly Jim and Toby’s fault. Because they followed the goblins to the museum, they saw Nomura in troll form, and she revealed the Fetch and suggested bringing in a new Changeling to convince Bular not to kill her after her identity was compromised.

Therefore, a solid argument can be made that in the show’s version of Unbecoming, Enrique was never kidnapped. We never do find out for sure.

If the swap happens because of something Claire did as Trollhunter, Enrique would probably never get switched in the Unbecoming episode, which would be one of the reasons Claire thought at first that it was a better world. (Though she might eventually realize she misses Not Enrique.)

On the other hand, if the initial Trollhunter!Claire timeline was one in which Not Enrique were already planted in the Nuñez house before Claire became the Trollhunter, then Claire’s dynamic with Not Enrique just got a lot more complicated. She has memories of growing to see Not Enrique as an adopted sibling, which he no longer shares, and she has memories of saving Original Enrique from the Darklands, which she is no longer in a position to be able to do.

I figure the ‘failed attempt to thwart the reopening of Killahead Bridge’ thing would happen, because I interpret Unbecoming as a worst-case-scenario vision crafted by Merlin to make the Trollhunter off-kilter and desperate enough to do what the wizard wants without question, but I see this backfiring when he reveals himself because Claire would be furious.

Either way, time reverts itself to how it was before at the end of the episode.

Honestly I don’t see it affecting the overall plot of the show much if AAARRRGGHH had remained Johanna, especially if the writers still went with the show backstory of “raised by Gumm-Gumms and then deserted” rather than the book backstory of “one of the leaders of the armies against Gunmar”.

She would probably have stayed a pacifist for the first half of Season One, to force Jim to have to learn how to fight instead of just hiding behind his big scary troll friend.

We might’ve actually seen cats in the Domzalski house, if the gag was kept that they are drawn to Johanna and love sleeping on her fur, to their peril; but all the cats-being-eaten scenes were just barely off-camera in the show, so maybe not.

I personally would’ve had a less negative reaction to Jlaire, because Claire wouldn’t be the only girl in the core cast, although I might still feel like it was an “Obligatory Het Romance So The Main Character Looks Straight (Or If He’s Bi It Never Comes Up In The Show)”.

BlinkAAARRRGGHH would probably be just as popular as it is now, but if the ship still wasn’t canon (or even if it was), there would also be a number of people defending keeping Blinky and Johanna ‘just friends’ because of the under-representation of close male-female friendships in popular media.

The fandom would probably also create the sapphic ship of Johanna/Nomura, based on how they’re both kickass fighter ladies who used to serve Gunmar and then deserted. (Johannomura? Nomuranna, despite the different number of ‘N’s, sounds like it refers to Nomura/Morgana, though I think that would called Nomurgana, and Jomura could be misinterpreted as the ‘J’ being for Jim, which … no. Johannomura is clearest. Maybe Johmura if that’s too long.)

I don’t know why BlinkAAARRRGGHH was never made official, but I can make some guesses.

Option 1: they didn’t know how popular the show would be and didn’t want to lose potential popularity due to censors not allowing it to air in certain countries or conservative parents not letting their kids watch it.

Option 2: because Blinky and Johanna genuinely did seem to be Not Romantically Involved in the novel, the writers didn’t realize that the adjustments and expansions made to the characters and their interactions made them look like they were together, and so the romantic subtext was unintentional.

Option 3: it was presumed that it went without saying, like how no one in the show goes out of their way to point out Claire’s parents are married to each other. (Okay, except Jim does address Claire’s parents as “Mr and Mrs Nuñez” twice, so that comparison doesn’t quite work.) This is probably the interpretation that will ‘age best’ as LGBT+ rep in children’s-marketed media becomes more prevalent and accepted.

Option 4: the writers have a different love interest planned for one or both of the characters, to be introduced in Wizards, and the romantic subtext between AAARRRGGHH and Blinky was either unintentional or meant to be one-sided.

Option 5: they aren’t together yet, and the script is building up to them becoming an official couple in Wizards.

[b1uecandlehomestuck]

Ultimate Thoughts on the Epilogue

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll list what I liked first.

I liked Dirk in Meat, for the most part. It’s basically the only time I’ve ever payed any attention to Dirk in the entire series; it feels like he was the only one whose full potential was reached, everyone else either had very limited shown potential or went in a completely wrong direction nobody wanted. It kinda goes to show that you don’t have to make a character’s ultimate goal a positive thing for me to like it; unlike Jane, Dirk actually had a history of being controlling and doing bad things because he believed he knew what was best for everyone. I wish his actual goals were given some explanation though, and he certainly got fucking obnoxious with the entire page talking about how he’s so great and we’re just the reader. Like, we get it, you’re a smug God, you don’t need an entire page to get that point across.

I liked new-Vriska. I wish we got more new-trolls. I wish we got more trolls in general. Once again, trolls take their eternal back-seat to the far-less-interesting humans, but at least we got new-Vriska, I guess. She deserved more too, though.

I sort of like how Aradia was handled. By the Epilogue’s standards, it’s a miracle something absolutely fucking ungodly didn’t happen to her. It felt a little bland, Aradia continuing to be a wallflower as she has been since coming back to life, but not out of character for her.

And that concludes the things I liked. To save us all time, I’ll only list the things I disliked the most about the epilogue, and I’ll avoid things that go without saying like “out of character writing” and “too negative”.

I don’t like how much political shit was in it. On one hand, I appreciate the attempt to show us more information about Earth C. On the other hand, none of it is particularly interesting, or even that in-depth, despite the amount of time spent on it. We mostly just hear about things through the lens of outsiders, Dave and Karkat. If you’re gonna spend so fucking long on information about Earth C, you might as well tell us some stuff that’d be interesting, like showing the perspective of a regular person on Earth C, what the humans are like at all, actual interspecies relationships and not the relationships of poorly-characterized representatives of each race.

It felt like nobody really tried to shake some sense into Jane. Sure, they talked to her EVENTUALLY, but it felt like they kept pushing it off, as if they were scared of her because of her money, as if they’re not all Gods and they couldn’t all become just as rich simply by flexing their Godly powers some. Or, you know, Dave taking out Jane with time powers. It’s absurd to the point of insanity that Jane, a God, would start a war with an alien race and none of her friends feel it would be a good idea to stop her; if they had some sort of issue with intersecting with the lives of the mortals on their planet, that shouldn’t even matter because Jane’s a God and expecting mortals to take down a God when there are Gods fighting on their side, including a God with the power to move through time, is asinine.

And Jane. Why? I feel so sorry for people who cared deeply about Jane. In the main story, she already gets fucked over by getting the mind control tiara slapped onto her for a majority of the story, but she finally gets to the ending, she has an interest in business, but WE GOTTA MAKE CAPITALISM THE BAD GUY SO NOW JANE IS EVIL!1!

Wasn’t Jane’s biggest interest old-fashioned detectives? Solving mysteries? Justice? Sure, some seeds of distrust for trolls were planted, but, akin to none of John’s friends seeming to have any interest in visiting him, none of Jane’s friends (besides Dirk) seem to have any interest in visiting her. In general, it feels like everyone is afraid to step out of their predisposed friend groups, which are cut down to “John-Terezi, Dave-Karkat-Jade, Roxy-Calliope, Jane-Jake-Dirk, Rose-Kanaya”. Nobody ever talks outside of those groups unless they REALLY have to, as if their infinite time on Earth C is limited and they don’t have the time to check in on friends who are expressing concerning habits. Roxy seems totally down to throw out Earth cultural things like gender, but when it comes to telling her friend to not become the president of the planet for the best interest of literally everyone, she finds it too difficult.

The final battle was anti-climactic. Rose and Jane die instantly because their combat is too complicated to write; Dave and John have simple weaponry to just point at LE and use. LE bites his magic Kill John Tooth into John and John dies!!! woah!!! I totally didn’t see that coming 500 million miles away!!!

In a series laden with shocking, sudden deaths, the main character’s death is the single most obvious one. Even the deaths of the Game Over beta kids were a little bit more surprising; with John, you knew he was going to die going into Meat. Rose might as well have turned to the camera and said “I’m sending John on a suicide mission". I mean, I can barely feel sad about it. It just feels tediously obligatory at this point. It’s sad for Terezi, but honestly, if not for Terezi, there wouldn’t be a single particularly notable thing about John’s death.

Also, we STILL don’t see LE die. Which was sort of one of the biggest calls for an epilogue in the first place. He just gets pushed off again and we’re told he’ll get defeated later.

And pretty much all of the uncomfortable, horrible things Gamzee did were completely pointless shock value shit. Child abuse and child molestation thrown into the mix literally just for fun. The absolute betrayal of Feferi as a character, thrown in just to insult the long-suffering fans of the most ignored character in the comic.

As a whole, it just feels like an insult to everyone reading it. Literally everyone I see defending the epilogue has to preface it with “it’s not actually about the story or the characters, it’s a symbolic representation of (blank)” or “If you ignore the horrible things that happen and huge parts of the story, it’s actually really good”. It feels like it’s either people being pretentious and trying to look smart by liking something that was made to be disliked, or people who are in denial of how bad it actually was.

Ultimately, the Epilogue is a failure. People try to say that “it was supposed to be poorly written and uncomfortable”, but that doesn’t make it good. If you set out your goal to be failure, achieving that goal does not mean you didn’t fail.

[protocol00]

So the 5th digimon tri movie is out, any thoughts ?

ok this kinda devolved into a rant so

spoILERS?

Okay so this wasn’t as bad as the last movie, but that is a pretty low bar to begin with. The more these movies go on, the more I get the feeling like they wanted to make a story about the kids growing up and having to deal with responsibilities in their lives and regarding how their relationship with Digimon affects the world around them. Meiko and meicoomon kinda seem like they were meant to be those things condensed into a character, but there are PROBLEMS.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, but tri would’ve been better off as a short series rather than a collective of movies. I’m not even trying to say that I want more digimon, necessarily (though I wouldn’t turn down moregood digimon content) it’s just… the padding bro. Every time they went off and focused on something COMPLETELY unrelated to the plot, there might’ve been good moments here and there, but they felt like out of place moments of downtime WHILE THE WORLD WAS GETTING FUCKED UP LIKE TWO BLOCKS AWAY. These could’ve been nice breather episodes inbetween important events, but the way that take up so much time while dire shit is supposed to be happening is really weird tonally! It makes the kids look fucking crazy!

Another reason I feel this way is the action scenes. The action scenes almost feel obligatory at this point because of the way these movies are structured. Like every movie has just been:

1. Oh no things are bad!

2. A small dash of action to trick people.

3. We feel bad and responsible for current events!

4. Another small dash of action to wake up the people that just wanted to see anime godzilla fights

5. Filler shenanigans

6. We still feel bad and responsible for current events!

7. Action scene ending with a cliffhanger and giving the characters something to angst about for the first half hour of the next movie.

SEE WHAT I FFFFFUCKIN MEAN?

If Tri was in episodes instead of movie chunks badly split into episode by Crunchyroll for some reason, they would be able to put the action in places that were appropriate instead of shoving them into the end of every movie sometimes with no buildup. In fact, the only action climax I felt was properly connected to the plot was the one in the third movie. The virus infection, Patamon (and everyone else’s) goodbye and Tentomon sacrificing himself were all built up from the beginning of the movie! From the beginning!!!!!!! Every other time it was like shit just came outta nowhere because well fuck, we need to finish this with an action scene!!!! Here’s Metalseadramon and Machinedramon!!!!!!

And it’s not like I don’t like watching characters goofing off, or watching cool action sequences, or character development- I LOVE ALL OF THAT SHIT!! But these were events were clearly written for episodes and they don’t work well in this movie format for the most part. And if I’m wrong and these WEREN’T initially written for episodes then holy shit!!!! What!!!!?

Now let me talk about Meiko and Meicoomon. Jesus fucking Christ this shit really bothered me in the movie. Now let me preface this with I don’t inherently hate either of these characters I think that they’re fine (except Meicoomon’s voice I fucking hate it jesus christ). What I hate about these two isn’t their characters, it’s the amount of focus they’re being given and how other characters and the story react to them. One of my pet peeves in anime specifically is this whole… friendship > everything angle. I like people valuing friendship. I like people being close. What I don’t like is when friendship is treated with greater value than lives! Like hundreds/thousands/MILLIONS/BILLIONS OF LIVES! Meicoomon’s bullshit circumstance has caused the death of Leomon, a bunch of other infected digimon, ALL the digimon eggs in the nursery village AND THEN, if you count the reboot BILLIONS ON TOP OF THAT! INCLUDING THE MAIN CAST’S DIGIMON PARTNERS!!! And yet, when everyone around then is saying 

“listen man we fuckin tried, but meicoomon has to die or every human will get wiped out” 

everyone’s just

“No!!!!! Meicoomon is our friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our nakamas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And even though we don’t have a solution ourselves and we’re FRESH OUTTA TIME TO FIND ONE, WE WILL SAVE MEICOOMON!!!”

And to make shit worse when EVEN MEIKO AND TAI! EVEN CAPTAIN INDECISIVE AND MEICOOMON’S OWN PARTNER ARE ALL

“hey ok uh maybe they had a point, meicoomon has to fuckin go”

THE MOVIE HAD THE AUDACITY TO HAVE PEOPLE GET MAD AT THEM

HMMMMM

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

ON TOP OF THAT, THE BULLSHIT WITH MEIKO AND MEICOOMON GAVE HIKARI LIKE 2% IMPORTANCE IN HER OWN FILM JUST FOR GATOMON TO EDGE DIGIVOLVE INTO OPHANIMON FM AND GET SCHLORPED UP BY MEICOOMON TO USE AS A SUPER ULTIMATE BATTERY. I’M TIRED.

also what was up with himekawa, every time she came back on screen she went from having no gun to having a huge assault rifle or some shit to having a pistol

like was i going crazy or did that actually happen

and she’s in the dark ocean now? we’re bringing that back?

ok

uh

aite

and i s2g if the 02 kids actually just show up in the last 2 minutes of the final movie after everyone forgetting about them for 5 movies i’m going to be in stitches

[theganjadigest]

My girlfriend smoked me out for the first time last night. Here are my thoughts

Obligatory: Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile.

Tl;dr: I was DARE-level against weed/drugs. Gf offered to smoke me out after I realised weed isn't so bad. Smoked it, was calm, happy, peaceful. 10/10 will do it again.

Hey r/trees,

I lurk this sub pretty hard, since I have never smoked anything before last night. The thought always interested me, but I never commited to it.

Backstory:

To preface all this, up until about 2 years ago, being from Texas, I was deadset against drugs. Hell I even broke up with a previous girlfriend because she smoked MJ. I was in the,

"Do it once and you die,"

"MJ is a pathway to becoming a crack fiend,"

"It'll ruin your life if it doesn't kill you first,"

"You're addicted after the first time because you're trying to chase that same level of high,"

sort of mindset. Pretty much a walking DARE campaign. All bullshit, 0% research.

Anyway, fast forward, I moved to California with my family, and I noticed that the mindset around it's use was totally different. Hell, I think ever since living here it was the first time I smelled it. And while I was still against it to some degree, the more people I met (friends and coworkers) the more I realized that these folks I knew lead totally normal lives, and that really smoking was a recreation equal to drinking pretty much. Which probably isn't a very fair comparison to how they drink in the south, but anyway.

This real world visualisation really helped shape my perception on it all, and eventually lead me to do some actual research on the damn stuff. Which is how I found this sub. Actually, learning about it all, and it's honest harmlessness, also really relaxed my view to the point that I was willing to try it under the right circumstances. I had been offered by friends who regularly smoked it, but still being hesistant about it all, and erring on the side of caution made me decline quite a few times.

Which leads me to last night, my girlfriend (not the same as the one previously mentioned) of 5 months offered to smoke me out. I knew she smoked when I first met her, but by that time I stopped giving a shit. With someone as responsible as she was, and I could really trust like her to help me if things went south, I accepted her offer, and I have to say I'm really glad I did. I'll more than likely do it again too.

The experience:

We left the park after I ultimately decided I wanted to, and went back to her house to pick up her 'camera bag.' When we had the goods, we drove to a gas station picked up some food and drinks, idk I've always been paranoid, but the way the clerk said good night hinted that she knew what was about to go down. Anyway we drove around for a while looking for a good spot. Something not too busy, but not too empty either but eventually she settled on a secluded parking lot with like three shops around. She broke down the whole process of what to expect, what not to expect (e.g death), as she set it all up. Had me smell the regular grinded up stuff. She explained that she'd stay sober until she was sure I was okay. By the time she told me all this she handed me two things I'd only seen on informative videos and thought I'd never have in my hands ever.

Holding a pipe and a lighter felt pretty surreal, and being the 'good southern Christian* boy' that I am I had a hard time trying to get a puff. When I thought I got something she had me relax and wait a minute. Shit got brighter, but that was about it. I told her I wasn't sure if I did or didn't get anything, she was pretty sure I didn't since I didn't exhale much of anything. After she showed me how I should take a hit, I finally took a real hit and.....

This shit is nothing like in the movies. To be far, I was taking a Sativa strain which she explained was more of a head high than a body high, but when I actually got a productive draw and blew smoke, after I set in I didn't go crazy like they said I would.

In fact, it was by far the most relaxed and still I'd ever been before. My brain just shut down. Normally, I have something on my mind running a mile a minute, almost borderline intrusive thoughts if you asked me, but now I was just calm. Even when I noticed how calm and still I was, my brain still felt like a giant empty chasm. Which was a 180 compared to my sober self. I was verbal about my thoughts, instead of bottling them up in my brain. I could really feel my body for once, maybe not to the minute details, but it was more detail than normal. It was a really really nice change of pace. I was just simply at peace.

The weed still got me good though. I had a moment that I went, "Holy shit, I think I'm high. My head is so clairvoyant right now." When she explained what word I used and what I was looking for, I lost my shit laughing my ass off. I struggled with words a lot, like formulating a sentence felt downright impossible sometimes. I also took a picture of this nail salon in the parking lot with my Polaroid, and thought it was the best shot I had ever taken, when I got home sober though, I found that it was pretty much just a blurry blob of colors... Which is still awesome since it's the only document of have of my first high moment.

The time was moving at a snails pace, that shit was cool. I would talk to my gf then be like what time is it? Normally I'm really good at guessing the time, but everytime I would estimate I was off by like ten minutes or so. Also I solve cubes and that was pretty fun since on my 4x4 I got stuck thinking I solved it all and I really hadn't. Food tasted the same though, and even though I have an extremely fast metabolism I didn't get the munchies. Then again I really only did like 2 or 3 baby hits, so maybe it wasn't enough or something.

A final thing, coming down was not what I expected. I fully expected to wake up stark naked wondering what the fuck happened, but instead it was at some point my brain kinda gave me a signal like a light switch and click I just knew I had come down. I wanted to do it again, but we both knew that I should hold off, and ease my way into things, so when we both came down we called it a night for smoking.

Conclusion

In the end, I'm really glad that I did it. I told myself, at one point, that I would do it one day and good or bad, I could at least say I have the experience with it to give an honest personal opinion. I didn't expect to like it so much to want to do it again, but I'm pretty excited for the next time.

she said her weed is my weed, so I think I got a keeper

*(I'm not religious)

Submitted November 17, 2017 at 11:37AM by Cool_Muhl via reddit http://ift.tt/2A8fRXI

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters, 3x13 Beati Bellicosi -- Review

Welcome to another Shadowhunters episode. I know this review is coming a little late. But what’s a girl to do? 3B has had such an underwhelming start that it’s an actual chore for me to talk about this show. Plus, I fear my reviews are getting quite repetitive. I honestly don’t know what to say about this show that hasn’t been said a million times before. This week we have Shadowhunters 3x13, Beati Bellicosi.

I would like to preface this review with saying that I am NOT a huge supporter of this show. I do enjoy certain elements of it but I’m not what would be classified as a devoted fan. For me, Shadowhunters is not a good show and I do get very critical of the show in my reviews. Honestly, for me, I watch the show because 1) I’m too curious not to and 2) I find that this show can be so bad its funny and that’s how I reap enjoyment out of it. I am not at all invested in this show or its characters anymore. I’m just watching to see what happens. If you’re a die hard fan and you lash out at everyone who has a different opinion than you, you might want to skip these…I’m just saying. My reviews may not be for you. If you do decide to be a total troll, well then pay attention to the below disclaimer.

This is going to be an honest review of my thoughts and feelings regarding this episode. If you’re the kind of Shadowhunters fan where you only want to hear positive things about the show, this is not the place for you. If you decide to stick around and get offended by what is said, then that’s on you. I warned you. Just know that if you send me any rude comments or messages, I will 100% ignore you. I find that’s the best way to deal with bullies. I work 14 hour days. Do you really think I want to waste my incredibly valuable free time dealing with derogatory comments? Hell no. This review will consist of my honest opinions. Opinions are never right or wrong. I’m not telling YOU how to think and feel. I’m telling you what I, quirky and socially awkward me, think and feel. So please, lets discuss with dignity and respect. If I’m critical about this show, it’s only because I want it to get better. There is, in fact, a difference between hating a show and being critical of it. I do not hate Shadowhunters, I am being critical and analyzing the flaws as I would with any other show. There are positives but there are also negatives. It’s great if you want to promote positivity with this show (and I encourage you to do so) but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to point out the things that are legitimately wrong with it. Also, keep in mind that despite the fact that I do like the books, me being critical of this show has nothing to do with my fondness for the books. I don’t really care if the show deviates from the source material as long as the changes are good, it makes sense, and it doesn’t create plot holes within the confines of the world the show has created. My problems with this show are problems I would have with any show or book for that matter. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to take issue with a show that has plot holes, shoddy world building, and inconsistent characters. There will be spoilers for the books and movie.

This episode was more of a filler kind of episode which really just left me asking, “why?” There’s already so much going on and this show only has 10 more episodes, they can’t afford these kinds of fillers. Things need to hurry up and start happening. Seriously, I don’t understand how this episode can have so much going on and yet nothing also happens at the same time. But by this point, I know full well how the Shadowhunters Writers Room works. The majority of the season is always filler, filled to the brim with inconsequential moments and the last two episodes of the season is when plot actually starts happening and it’s always unsatisfactory due to them not actually using the entire season to properly arc a plot and a character’s development.

The Mary Sue Comes Home

Mary Su- I mean, Clary is finally brought back home to the Institute in all of its anticlimactic glory. I still retain my stance from the previous review that it was completely pointless for Clary to start the series off with Jonathon if she was only going to be rescued in the very next episode. But anyway, everyone is super happy that Clary’s back except for Clary it seems. I mean, seriously, the energy Kat was giving off in these reunion scenes felt like she was giving an obligatory hug to these people who she supposedly loves as if they were family. These people thought she was dead, that they would never see her again. She thought she was going to die, she had no way of knowing if she would ever be able to escape Jonathon, she thought she might never see any of them ever again. How about once more with feeling, Kat?

Upon Izzy greeting Clary, she makes a comment on how she’s going to chop Jonathon to bits and pieces and again, I’m left asking myself, “What exactly has Jonathon done to require that level of rage?” He killed a couple of dudes she barely knew. Sure, he injured Max but Max made a complete recovery with no consequences. I can understand wanting to bring Jonathon in to receive justice, maybe even rough him up a little bit, but this whole “kill on sight” angle doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. In the books it did, because Jonathon did things that legitimately left a mark on these people, their vendetta was deeply personal, but that doesn’t exist in the show. It’s like I keep on saying, if you’re going to deviate from the source material, that’s fine, I don’t have a problem with that. But you can’t deviate and then expect to continue with the book’s plot as if nothing happened. By making that change, the entire context for that particular plot has changed, the entire plot now has to change to account for that deviation. Izzy is then later filled in that chopping Jonathon into bits and pieces would result in also chopping Clary into some Mary Sue bits and pieces so she understandably backs off. Alec then mentions that he’s put out an alert to all the other institutes that Jonathon needs to be captured alive and again, I’m just wondering, what has Jonathon done that would evoke every shadowhunter’s ire in this show? In the books, it made sense because he was responsible for a demon attack in Alicante that killed dozens of shadowhunters (men, women, children, elderly) but no such thing happened in the show so again, “why?” Why would they care about enacting death upon this guy? I’m also very confused about why other Institutes would pay any attention to Alec’s proclamation. It’s been made abundantly clear that the Clave doesn’t trust Alec, in fact, they weren’t even the ones who put him in charge of the Institute. Jace gave the title to Alec so again, “Why?” Why would they put any credence on this kind of proclamation? Especially, since the Clave was all for executing Clary literally a week or so ago. But whatever.

Continuing on, everyone seems to be super chill about Clary being linked to a super villain and the only one who seems to be worried about it is Clary. But in the end, even she stops worrying about it. I suppose they’ve as well gotten used to the convenient writing so they feel this isn’t something to worry about, they have absolute faith that the writers are going to pull something out of their asses. It was weird that Clary is so ready to get rid of the mark, she exclaims constantly that she can feel Jonathon underneath her skin and then all of the sudden, just in time for the episode to end, she decided out of the blue she’s not going to worry about it. And we get the Clace sex scene. Which was just really yuck to me. First of all, they started it all with that iconic Jace line from the books which just does not work in the show’s context, it’s unearned and it felt extremely awkward and cheesy. Second of all, Kat and Dom have 0 romantic chemistry so I wasn’t feeling anything in the scene, there were more sparks in Dom and Alisha’s scene. And thirdly, Jonathon and Clary are linked and it’s being heavily implied that they can feel everything the other feels. So it’s really gross thinking that while Clace is having sex, Jonathon is on the other side of the bond feeling everything that Clary’s feeling. It’s like a really weird non-con threesome, it’s gross and I wish to scrub it from my mind. And I’m just going to put it out there that the “morning after” scene was incredibly awkward. Like, if you didn’t have enough evidence to show how little chemistry Kat and Dom have just look at that scene where Clary is draped on Dom’s chest. Neither of them looked comfortable in the slightest and it certainly didn’t look like they just had sex.

We did get a little bit of a lore drop in which we find out that arch-angels Michael and Lucifer supposedly had the same bond and it was somehow broken. And I’m really just wondering again, “why?” Why did they have that sort of link? It makes more sense that this mark was caused by demonic influence as opposed to angelic influence. But whatever. I feel like that phrase pretty much sums up Shadowhunters in a nutshell. “But whatever.”

Izzy’s Drug Addiction

Yup, the drug addiction plot is still happening. I’m all for Izzy getting some character development and even seeing scenes of her legitimately working through this addiction and not getting some miracle cure with no consequences like she did last time but again, “why?” We don’t have the kind of time for this plot. We have ten episodes left for the show to wrap everything up. Please, Writers, you NEED to trim some of this fat. But Izzy tells Magnus that she had a relapse (sure it was to save Simon but it’s still a relapse) and Magnus makes sure to tell Alec right away and she and Alec have a conversation about it while on a hunt. And the hunt leads to them finding out shadowhunters are being killed for some reason? The show’s starting to really Bourne it up and I don’t really understand why. Again, it’s just something where I’m like, “Is this really necessary?”

Do Luke and Maryse Even Have a Ship Name?

This is a legitimate question because whether you like it or not, they are a thing that’s happening. Laryse? Is that they’re ship name? I have no idea. Beyond these reviews, I don’t spend a whole lot of time in this fandom. I still wish Luke’s endgame could’ve been Jocelyn. Thematically, it works better. But whatever. Jocelyn’s dead so I suppose we have to make do with Maryse in order to give Luke that romantic endgame. I just wish we had a better foundation for it. I don’t entirely hate the idea of them, it’s the execution of them I dislike. They feel like such an afterthought and just something the writers feel obligated they have to do as Luke is technically a main character and he needs to end up with someone and hey, since Maryse is currently single, why not her? I don’t really like the idea that she’s only here to be Luke’s love interest but whatever. As an idea, I could’ve liked them if they were more of a slow burn but that’s clearly not happening here. But they’re investigating something and that leads them to having an extremely forced kiss in typical Shadowhunters fashion.

The Next Pack Leader…Maia…Maybe?

That depends greatly on whether she still has a pack left. This part of the story revolves around the new pack leader being kind of a douche or at least that’s what the show is trying to make it seem like. Me personally? I’m not entirely realizing why this guy is supposedly a douche. He’s trying to ensure his pack isn’t in a situation where they get caught alone by vampires and then killed. Seems like a pretty solid leadership decision to tell your pack to not be out during the night hours. Granted, he could be a little more understanding of Bat’s work situation but at the same time, like I said, it’s a good protection measure against the threat. I didn’t really see how he was this horrible leader who was only doing this to exert control over others. But whatever. Show, you do you.

When Maia complains to Luke about the situation and Luke tells her he has no plans on coming back to the pack as he was a terrible pack leader (you’ll get no arguments from me on that front) Luke then tells Maia that if she wants to help, she should become the next leader. Maia is scared of fighting the leader but Luke basically tells her to organize a coup within the ranks of the pack.

As Maia plans for this, she decides to break up with Simon as she doesn’t believe that she can be a true alpha leader and have a boyfriend at the same time. Feminism at its finest, I guess. Who ever heard of a woman having a career and a love life? I know, it’s absolutely unheard of. And I guess she’s also just going to throw away her plans of becoming a marine biologist, as well. The whole reasoning for the break-up was extremely weak and even moreso when Simon reveals that he’s in agreement with it as he feels like they’ve just been growing apart. And I’m just like, “in what way?” She was gone for at most, a week and before the Jordan crap, they were practically unseparable. But again, whatever.

Now while all of this is going down, Heidi is basically using Jordan and vampires and manipulating a war between them and the episode ends strangely with Jordan dying and Maia fleeing with Jordan and locking themselves up in a freezer, I guess. Brilliant plan, right? Locking yourself in a place you have no escape from. Apart from the vampires and werewolves being beyond dumb with this super obvious manipulation, I dislike that someone who’s character arc was all about becoming strong enough to take over the pack, runs away from fight leaving her family to be slaughtered. This was a huge disservice done to Maia. Her arc has always been about her feeling helpless and then becoming strong to take over the pack when she realizes she’s not helpless and she can fight. But character arcing? In Shadowhunters? Please.

As I said before, it’s truly amazing how this show can have so much and yet so little going on simultaneously. This episode was really bland and ultimately I just didn’t care what was going. And it routinely left me with asking the question, “why?” This episode gets a C+ for me. I’ll hope for a better episode next time. But I’m not too terribly hopeful as I have an ask in my askbox currently letting me know this upcoming episode was a disappointment.

[punitivepunning]

Tiger’s Curse: The Prologue

So, this is my first section-by-section snark of this book! Just like the previous one, everything indented and/or italicized is a direct quote from the book. If something is in bold within those sections, it’s something I’m focusing on in that particular quote.

Buckle up for a WILD RIDE, my friends. The disaster starts right here.

So, our preface is the “The Tiger” by William Blake. Of course it is. 

Prologue: The Curse (although Houck writes it “the curse” for...aesthetic reasons, I suppose?)

The prisoner stood with his hands tied in front of him, tired, beaten, and filthy but with a proud back befitting his royal Indian heritage.

Houck does this a lot; she specifies that characters are Indian even though they have no reason not to be. It’s as if she likes to specifically point out, “Look! They’re FOREIGN and EXOTIC!” 

Furthermore, what difference does it make that he’s Indian? Wouldn’t any other royal character have the same sort of stature?

Also, “Indian” is an incredibly vague term when there are multiple Indian kingdoms in this book. It’d be much better to specify which kingdom he’s from.  

His captor, Lokesh, looked on haughtily from a lavishly carved, gilded throne. Tall, white pillars stood like sentinels around the room. Not a whisper of a jungle breeze moved across the sheer draperies. All the prisoner could hear was the steady clinking of Lokesh’s jeweled rings against the side of the golden chair.

Ah yes, the classic stereotype of a rich, lavish Indian kingdom in the middle of the jungle! I’m also not even going to TRY with this sentence structure.

The prisoner was the prince of an Indian kingdom called Mujulaain.

See what I mean? We’ve already covered that he’s Indian. We don’t need to repeat this. At least we now know the name of the kingdom though.

Technically, his current title was Prince and High Protector of the Mujulaain Empire, but he still preferred to think of himself as just his father’s son.

.....Okay, I already hate him. Seriously, being a prince is hard work, and this sort of attitude is completely unnecessary.

That Lokesh, the raja of a small neighboring kingdom called Bhreenam, had managed to kidnap the prince was not as shocking as who was sitting beside Lokesh: Yesubai, the raja’s daughter and the prisoner’s fiancée, and the prince’s younger brother, Kishan.

Okay, wait, what? We used the term “raja” here, so why aren’t we calling the unnamed prisoner “rajkumar” (which means “prince”)? We’re like, two ebook pages in and it’s already inconsistent.

Also, brother angst. Wonderful.

The prince is mad that he’s been kidnapped. he calls this “inhospitality,” and he’s totally clueless about Lokesh’s motives. Apparently the two kingdoms were supposed to be joined with the marriage, but then the unnamed prisoner’s brother started liking Yesubai and then he betrayed the unnamed prisoner. Unnamed prisoner was conveniently not there because he was on the other side of the kingdom dealing with military stuff. The whole thing is just awkward infodumping.

The prisoner strode fearlessly forward, faced Lokesh, and called out, “You have fooled us all. You are like a coiled cobra that has been hiding in his basket, waiting for the moment to strike.”

Okay, so first off, this dialogue is fucking RIDICULOUS. Second off, that snake reference. Because India is Exotic Snake Charmer Land, right? Gross.

Snake references: 1

Okay, now onto literally the next sentence:

He widened his glance to include his brother and his fiancée. “Don’t you see? Your actions have freed the viper, and we are bitten. His poison now runs through our blood, destroying everything.”

....No comment.

Snake references: 2

Lokesh wants unnamed prisoner’s piece of the “Damon Amulet” and threatens to take the unnamed prisoner’s life. So the stakes jumped from “have your fiancée” (as if this woman is an object to be bartered) to “keep being alive.” Apparently no matter what unnamed prisoner does, his brother will be married to Yesubai.

He [Lokesh] stroked his short, stippled beard and then clarified, “Of course, you understand, that even should I allow you to live, I will rule both kingdoms.” Lokesh smiled. “If you defy me I will forcibly remove your piece of the amulet.”

It’s not like, y’know, there’s still a KING or an ARMY or anything. (The king is specifically referenced, and after all, the two brothers are still princes.) Also, the villain LITERALLY JUST STROKED HIS BEARD.

Also, I’d like to point out that no matter what happens, unnamed prisoner is going to lose his amulet. If unnamed prisoner gets out of this alive, it implies that he no longer has his amulet because he had to give it up, which means Lokesh can’t use it as leverage.

This is the breaking point for the backstabbing brother Kishan, though, who then objects that his brother’s life was never supposed to be threatened. This super important amulet thing would just be taken, that’s all.

Lokesh shot out his hand as quickly as a snake and grabbed Kishan’s wrist.

Snake references: 3

Lokesh, who is now basically a cartoonish Evil Dude, responds by also threatening Kishan. If Kishan doesn’t give Lokesh his part of the amulet as well, Yesubai won’t be married to him. 

“[...] Perhaps an old sultan will cool her blood.”

Okay, so, as you’ll find out later, this prologue is set in the late 1670s. There were no sultans in India, so I have no clue where he would be sending his daughter or why anybody so far away would want her to be their bride, seeing how there’s basically no political or strategic incentive.

You know what WAS around during this time? The Mughals. They basically wanted to exterminate anything that didn’t follow their religion. “Lokesh” is a Hindu name. I have no clue why he isn’t stressed about the Mughals.

ALSO! Speaking of names, here’s the breakdown on their meanings:

Lokesh = “Lord Brahma”

Yesubai = “masculine” (In fact, it’s often a male name, but I’ll let it slide because a couple Indian queens were named Yesubai.)

Kishan = “black” 

Now back to the book. So, the brothers finally realize “oh shit, we gotta save the kingdom” after these threats.

Obsession pumped up Lokesh’s neck, throbbed at his temple, and settled behind his black, serpentine eyes.

Ummm...what does that mean? How does obsession pump up your neck? Anger makes sense because it causes a rise in your blood pressure, but obsession? Not always.

Snake references: 4

Lokesh then realizes that nobody wants to cooperate with him and then he gets mad and pulls out a knife. 

Lokesh pulled a shiny knife with a jeweled hilt from his robe and roughly yanked up the sleeve of the prisoner’s now filthy, once-white Jodhpuri coat.

So, Jodhpuri coats originated in the Jodhpur State (hence the name), which was, I believe, a part of the Mughal Empire at the time. Jodhpur is in the modern state of Rajasthan, which is in northeastern region of India, and it borders Pakistan. Rajasthan’s climate is also more arid, and it doesn’t have much jungle (a “jungle breeze” was referenced earlier). Jodhpuri coats were popularized during the British Raj (1858–1947).

With the mention of this one article of clothing, Houck’s setting falls apart. How can the Mujulaain Empire exist near enough the Jodhpur State, Mughal territory, when the extremely powerful Mughals wanted to get rid of Hinduism? Where exactly are they that allows them to be in a jungle? Even if it isn’t actually set in Jodhpur, why is a character wearing a Jodhpuri coat, especially when these coats wouldn’t become popular and widespread until two centuries later?

This is all basic google research. I’m SO FRUSTRATED.

I’m okay. Deep breaths. Moving on.

Lokesh does some weird magic shit with the unnamed prisoner’s blood. He drips the blood from his snazzy knife onto a wooden talisman, which glows red and then shoots out white light.

The light shot towards the prince with groping fingers that pierced his chest and clawed its way through his body. Though strong, he wasn’t prepared for the pain. The captive screamed as his body suddenly became inflamed with prickly heat and he fell to the floor.

Riiiight, he can’t show weakness when he’s being literally clawed by light because he’s “strong.” Also, when you invent magic like this, you might want to be a little more specific with the details. Is the light literally shaped like a hand? Who knows?

There’s a super dramatic scene where both Kishan and Yesubai try to fight Lokesh, but our obligatory cartoonish Evil Dude effortlessly shoves them both away. Apparently he pushes his daughter particularly hard, because she dies, and Kishan is heartbroken or whatever. Then the prologue ends with extreme pain from unnamed prisoner.

I’m a bit confused; we info-dumped everybody’s names, the names of the kingdoms, and the political situations, but we never learn the prisoner character’s name. Because Reasons.

So, with that, we have awful writing with annoying infodumps and clunky and unrealistic dialogue, stupid characters, racism and exotification that rely heavily on stereotypes of India (FOUR snake references you guys), and an alarming lack of research.

This is going to be fun.

[chuchisushi]

Ragethirst Highlights - Dragon Inn/Dragons Gate Inn

I was drafted by Hal and Dream into writing the highlights for this stream, so I preface this by saying that I had to ask @paint-the-wall-with-bullets​ for the plot a fourth of the way through, upon which I connected the dots.

The ragethirst was visited today by a smol, who graced us with kpop for a short time

ling tried to make moves on everyone assembled, as per usual

donnie appeared for all of five minutes in the beginning of the movie to look very pretty and to torture an official to death to establish the plot

many disparaging comments were made about his makeup

which were equally balanced out by those who liked it

(personally I think it was a bit Much, but he did resemble a peacock dressed in gold filigree, so 50/50, could take or leave it)

outfit 1

donnie’s playing a eunuch, which lead to us trying to goad @evocating​ into writing Forbidden City fanfic starring ballsless sex, because the rest of us don’t have the research background for this brand of historical erotica

the official’s entire family was killed except for one boy and one girl

our heroine, played by Brigitte Lin, who I referred to for the rest of the movie as ‘the lady drunkard who crossdresses and fights well’ appears at this point with a band of renegade mercenaries to snatch the kids off

donnie watches all of this from the cliffs above from the middle of his entourage

no really

outfit 2

there’s a lot of fighting on horseback and by ‘fighting on horseback’ I mean people turning horses around in circles, yelling, and waving around prop swords while the wind kicks up sand everywhere

donnie gets to use the Force

our heroes, kids in tow, sojourn to this inn in the middle of the desert near a pass through the mountains they can use

as framing for said inn we’re treated to a scene of Maggie Cheung, playing the role of the cannibal (more on that later) innkeeper mistress seducing a man and then brutally murdering him via several throwing knives to the face

down the chute he goes

for those interested, he gets turned into meat buns (that was the later)

the butcher is very skilled at chopping (I swear to god this becomes salient even more later)

our innkeeper Immediately susses out that the crossdresser is crossdressing because she is not attracted to her womanly ways

I say this but the next scene after the obligatory This Meat Tastes Off, Don’t Eat It bit is something like twenty minutes of a fight between our crossdressing heroine and the innkeeper in the bath that consists of knives shredding cloth and stealing clothes off of each other

words were exchanged to the effect of ‘you have a very lovely body’ ‘as do you’

the innkeeper loses

she ends up topless

while vaulting onto the top of the inn(??), the innkeeper is interrupted in the middle of her bawdy(???), topless(??????) song by the arrival of a third party

Tony Ka Fai Leung plays a doctor romantically involved with our crossdressing heroine

he arrives on two camels. Take this as you will.

He Banters with the innkeeper, who promptly decides she wants to keep him

there was so much crosstalk about “the weather” and “candles”

alas, this perfect setup for poly is not used

at some point all the asians in chat completely derailed the conversation by expounding on all the different kinds of meat and how good they were

Bone Marrow. Bone marrow was elected universal king

Special mention goes to the consumption of insects. Excellent source of protein!

At some point during above conversation government officials acting at donnie’s behest arrive at the inn, where they’re all conveniently trapped by the desert weather (it wasn’t Entirely a metaphor)

two of the officials’ party get struck by lightning and dragged off to be turned into meat buns

maybe a goat too

a very fake roasted goat makes an appearance

the butcher gets to show off his skills via deboning the whole thing and turning the meat into deli slices (I swear this is also salient)

there’s a very tension-laden showdown wherein two tables are broken and the doctor and the main official end up having ‘a toast to nothing’

our party is still stuck because of the weather and the officials keeping an eye on them

the doctor does a reverse honeypot to seduce the innkeeper into letting their party use the secret tunnels out so they can transport the kids

the seduction involves a one night stand after getting married by the government official of said standoff before

the doctor also does some Investigation at some point and discovers the people-chute

also terrifies the butcher by turning out to be alive

somehow the honeymoon turns into a fight

which quickly turns into a full-out brawl between all parties in the inn

shoutout to the innkeeper who literally grinds up one of the officials’ men in the fight, fills a bucket with his blood, and then throws in the old man official’s face before stabbing him while screaming about making him eat his own blood

so much fake blood everywhere

donnie and the army he’s leading arrive in the middle of this

the inn gets stormed by said army

horses ride all over it

in the ruckus of the fight above, our crossdressing heroine (who is no longer crossdressing and is probably a bit drunk from drowning her sorrows over the honeymoon that doesn’t involve her), tries to get the kids out

she runs into said army and gets shot by an arrow and has to come back

the innkeeper, faced with her imminent bodily safety, gets everyone through the tunnels (everyone being the kids, the doctor, the butcher, the crossdressing heroine, herself, and a kitchen sink)

the tunnel pops out behind the front line, but one of the kids accidentally lets go of a red sash, which Happens to drift back to where donnie’s sitting

upon which he Ｐ Ｒ Ｏ Ｍ Ｐ Ｔ Ｌ Ｙ   Ｆ Ｌ Ｉ Ｅ Ｓ onto a horse and starts chasing after them

outfit 3

his makeup has gotten Worse

donnie loses the horse to a stiff breeze and ends up chasing after the party on foot

the kids are sent ahead with the butcher while the rest stay to make a stand against donnie, who is naruto running across the dunes to them

A Fight Ensues

we can’t see shit because of the goddamn sand blowing everywhere

it’s mostly just dramatic swordplay at this point, but donnie loses his hairtie to a stray cut and also gets nicked in the face at some point??

???

he’s really rocking the chirrut colors here

there is a pause to regroup

upon which there is a long pan

it’s from donnie’s chest down his skirts to his ankles

why? we’re not initially clear

AS IT TURNS OUT THE PAN IS TO SHOWCASE THAT THEY’RE APPARENTLY IN QUICKSAND.

EVERYONE IS SUNKEN UP TO THE CHEST

INCLUDING DONNIE, WHO HAS HELD ABOVE POSE ALL THROUGH IT

Immediately after we realize the above fact, donnie changes his pose

he fucking. Landsharks through the sand

I honestly have no other words to describe it

he carves his own trench?? the sand flies up???

he fucking nyooms through the sand my guys

DO WE REMEMBER THAT VIDEO OF THE MOOSE JUST FUCKING CARVING ITS WAY THROUGH THE CHEST-HIGH SNOW IN CANADA

BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE THAT

“MOVE I’M GAY” - donnie in this fight

we have been laughing ever since donnie lost his hairtie because his goddamn face when it happened was ATROCIOUS, I hope someone screencapped it for posterity

BUT AT THIS POINT WE TOTALLY LOSE IT

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD THERE ARE LITERAL TEARS IN MY EYES

“MOOOOOOOOOO YAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!” - the doctor, dramatically, overwrought, as the crossdressing heroine is stabbed

attempts to drive off donnie are made. they’re not very successful.

Breakdancing fighting ensues

the innkeeper leaves mo yan in the sand to die as she tries to help with the fight

“MOOOOOOO YAAAAANNNNN!!!!” - the doctor, as he dives for mo yan, sinking into the sand, and misses her hand in time to pull her out

she deserved a better death, honestly

the fight is REALLY not going well. Donnie makes a move to charge at the remaining party

upon which

a fucking second landshark

pops out of the dune to engage him

IT”S THE BUTCHER.

THERE ARE A LOT OF TERRIBLE SOUND EFFECTS? THERE’S A LOT OF FLAILING?? WE DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON

until the butcher disengages and scuttles off to fucking. Bury himself back into the sand in true landshark style

donnie tries to move, halts, looks down

“MY LEG!!!!!!!” - donnie in this movie, discovering that he has an EXTREMELY BADLY DONE skeleton leg from the knee down replacing his left leg?!?!?!?

THE BUTCHER DEBONED HIM

THIS IS WHERE IT BECAME SALIENT

“MY HAND!!!!!” - donnie in this movie, discovering after falling over that he has an EXTREMELY BADLY DONE skeleton hand from the elbow down replacing his left arm?!?!?!?!?

THE TEARS OF LAUGHTER ARE OVERFLOWING.

Oh my god, he gets up Somehow because the landshark butcher is coming for the rest of him

they exchange some blows

donnie stabs him fucking just shy of the crotch THROUGH THE SAND

THERE IS A GEYSER OF FAKE BLOOD

THEN FUCKING HAULS HIM OUT OF THE SAND AND PROCEEDS TO SWING HIM AROUND LIKE A SHIRT STRIPPED OFF AT A CONCERT MOSH PIT WHILE SCREAMING AT THE SKY

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

there’s a quick interlude for the doctor to Resolve Himself with the innkeeper THROUGH WHICH YOU CAN STILL HEAR DONNIE SCREAMING

the doctor and donnie have one last dramatic clash that involves FLYING ACROSS THE SAND

DONNIE GRABS THE SWORD THE DOCTOR IS USING AS IT’S COMING AT HIM AND BENDS IT INTO A PRETZEL ONE-HANDED??

THERE IS FAKE BLOOD EVERYWHERE????

THE DOCTOR PULLS A STRAIGHT DAGGER OUT OF THE HILT OF THE SWORD AS DONNIE IS HOLDING IT AND STABS DONNIE THROUGH THE NECK

@twentyeightghosts​ is extremely mad about this still. Swords Do Not Work Like That

DONNIE IN A FINAL ACT OF DEFIANCE STABS THE DOCTOR IN THE CHEST WITH HIS BONY SKELETON FINGERS???????????

the doctor fucking FALLS BACK onto the sand COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD with this RIDICULOUS PROP SKELETON HAND AND FOREARM ATTACHED TO HIS CHEST

SOMEHOW DONNIE IS STILL STANDING

HE DOES A RIDICULOUS ONE-LEGGED HOP TO STAY UPRIGHT

THIS MAN.

donnie has one last dramatic yell in him. we’re treated to a shot of his skeleton leg crumpling to bits under him. He finally falls over. he’s dead. The evil has been vanquished.

There is a dramatic pan on mo yan’s flute on the sand with music going in the background as the doctor looks appropriately anguished and the innkeeper appropriately jilted by death

said doctor takes the kids through the pass on the other camel

the innkeeper and the butcher go back to the inn and burn it down

‘let us leave this evil place’ LADY, YOU WERE THE ONE TURNING DUDES INTO MEAT BUNS IN THE BASEMENT????

@xanderxcagex had a great joke about swordception [BWOOOOOM]

hal came back after having to take a break right as the movie finished

WE REWATCHED THE LAST TEN MINUTES AGAIN

JUST FOR DONNIE

THIS MOVIE IS APPARENTLY A TREASURED CLASSIC???

seriously, thank you so much for streaming for us @greymichaela​ and hosting our absolute madness. This was a ragethirst to remember, if nothing else for it being the strongest ending to a donnie movie I’ve caught thus far.

Kim, to Hal: you’re going to ask ‘What? Was that - ?” a lot in the last ten minutes, and the answer, every time, is going to be ‘Yes.’ Hal, Immediately: DID DONNIE JUST - Everyone in the chat, through their laughter: ＹＥＳ

[americanahighways]

photos by Jimmy Faber

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Todd Snider is that rare combo: a consummate songwriter and showman all in one. With a catalog of 16 albums dating back to 1994, along with countless writing credits to his name, he recently returned to his roots, so to speak, with Cash Cabin Sessions, Vol. 3. Shelving his backing band The Hardworking Americans, Snider takes a barebones folky (as in, “what the folk?!”) approach to the Vol. 3 sessions (volumes 1 and 2 were recorded but have not yet been released) that highlights the layered irony of his lyrics, along with his masterful phrasing and peerless comedic timing.

It also highlights a new predilection for the supernatural and suspiciously serendipitous events. His song “The Ghost of Johnny Cash,” which is central to the album, describes John Carter Cash’s vision of Loretta Lynn dancing with the ghost of his father outside the family cabin, as Melissa Clarke’s recent interview with Snider details. Suffice to say, this turn to supernatural inspiration is a bit surprising in a self-avowed agnostic hippie. But as Snider told John Carter Cash before the latter related his dancing Loretta Lynn story, “I’m not really a ‘haunted’ person, but I’m not against it.”

Aside from his apparent openness to supernatural events, Snider also has a well- known history of drug addiction with related trips to rehab, assorted weirdness and broken relationships — including a traumatic divorce in 2014 — that makes one wonder which version of Todd Snider is going to show up when he performs.

Luckily it was a sober, energetic and especially quick-witted Snider who showed up for the Ardmore performance March 14, the second show of his current tour. Unlike his appearance at The Birchmere a week later (also reviewed in Americana Highways), he didn’t bring his dog Cowboy Jim on stage with him, and he didn’t go barefoot. He also wasn’t sporting (thankfully) that frightening, ungroomed beard that showed up in some of the early promotional shots for Cash Cabin.

What he DID bring to the Ardmore Music Hall was his guitar, some new stories, his congenial goofiness, and his sometimes gently satiric, at other times outrageously outspoken worldview. Part Will Rogers-ish voice of the common man, part hippie Zen master and part hard-partying stoner savant, Snider’s infamous between-song banter is droll, painful, prodding and heartfelt by turns. His tall tales almost always end with a pointed punchline (typically a self-mocking or ironically self-undermining one) that you didn’t quite see coming. This just enhances their powerful, reverberative effect.

Fellow Nashvillean Reed Foehl (pronounced “fail” — though, as he told the audience, he likes to preface it with the word “never”) opened for Snider with a set of well-crafted and emotionally affecting ballads on such serious subjects as his father’s decline and his mother’s battle with lymphoma. His father’s love of John Prine, Foehl related between songs, inspired him to pen the Prine-like “Chances Are” about his time spent taking care “of the ones who took care of me / And my highly dysfunctional family.” Several of his other songs shared that focus on mortality, loss and the slow-fast warp of time’s passage, including one containing the refrain “It’s a goodbye world, passing through it” and the stirring ballad “Wake Up the Dead.”

It was thus almost a relief when Snider showed up with his shuffling Chaplinesque gait to brighten the evening with his expected mix of levity, political edginess and hard-earned wisdom re: that hopeless bunch of mammals we call humanity. Dressed in a blue workshirt, chuka boots and his trademark floppy hat, Snider launched right into “East Nashville Skyline,” with its description of crossing over to that neighborhood’s unique “state of mind” with its “discount cigarettes, liquor and wine.” The crowd whooped approvingly as Snider sang about how the radio “kicked us off of the air / So that more Sheryl Crow could come on… Come on!” — and it was off to the races from there.

Snider essentially writes four types of songs: comedic send-ups; explicitly political numbers; songs packed with bittersweet social observations, typically told from the point of view of the down-and-out and/or outcasts; and poignant, sometimes deeply personal, ballads. Of course, being a contrarian he also mixes zinger one-liners into his serious songs and serious notes into his comedic zingers, but despite those hybrids those four categories seem to hold true.

He mixed those categories artfully at AMH, with a slight lean towards the last two. Among the more comedic numbers were “Barbie Doll,” “Beer Run,” “I Can’t Complain,” “Alright Guy,” “Just in Case” and “Iron Mike’s Main Man,” while songs from the bittersweet/socially observant category included “Sunshine,” “Looking for a Job,” “D.B. Cooper,” “Play a Train Song” and the aforementioned “East Nashville Skyline.” The explicitly political numbers came in a row, starting with the obligatory “Conservative, Christian, Right Wing Republican, Straight, White, American Males,” followed by the rapid-fire tour de force “A Timeless Response to Current Events” (with its refrain “Ain’t that some bull… shit?”), then “Talking Blues” from Vol. 3, and later on the long, seemingly improvised (though actually not) rap “The Blues on Banjo,” with its bitter, crowning exclamation: “So zippety- do-dah, muthafucker; zippety-ay!”

Snider’s artful interweaving of those three song types leant extra force to his more personal/serious numbers. These included the touching ballad “I Waited All My Life for You,” the moving “Old Times” (which Snider sang passionately), and his first encore number, “Force of Nature.” That last song, off the new album, contains the quintessential Todd Snider lines: “May you always play your music / Loud enough to wake up all of your neighbors / And may you play at least loud enough / To wake yourself up.” (Amen to that!)

Along with “The Ghost of Johnny Case,” which requires a whole new category of its own, the final song of Snider’s four-song encore was a stunner. He actually took on — head on, as they say — the perennial obnoxious concert-goer’s favorite request: “Free Bird.” Snider’s slow acoustic version of that time-worn cliché of a tune gave it a whole new life, I thought; he seemed to wring every last, surprising emotion out of it, like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a threadbare hat. He left the stage jumping up and down excitedly as the crowed roared its passionate appreciation.

You gotta hand it to him: despite the shambolic, sometimes (intentionally?) unpolished demeanor, Snider is an inspired, pro’s pro of a performer when he’s got his act together. Let’s hope his happy streak of great songwriting and focused sobriety continues.

—————

Tour dates, videos, recordings and merchandise can be found at: https://toddsnider.net/home/

Americana Highways’ interview with Todd Snider can be found here: Interview: Todd Snider on Cash Cabin Sessions, Dreams and Songwriting

Americanas Highways two earlier reviews of Todd Snider’s show are here: Show Review: Todd Snider Enthralls Fans at Birchmere with Reed Foehland here: https://americanahighways.org/2019/02/19/show-review-todd-snider-sold-out-show-at-okcs-tower-theatre-with-canine-sidekick-and-kevin-gordon/

Show Review: Todd Snider Spins Hard Times into Gold at the Ardmore Music Hall @Toddsnider @lorettalynn @johncartercash @johnnycash @melissalclarke #ToddSnider #JohnnyCash #LorettaLynn #americanamusic @reedfoehl @ardmoremusicpa photos by Jimmy Faber Todd Snider is that rare combo: a consummate songwriter and showman all in one.

[virginieboesus]

PS2 Review – King of Fighters: Maximum Impact

I’m going to preface this review with an admission; I’m not really the biggest fan of fighting games. Sure, I love the old Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat games, but I’ve never been a huge follower of the genre. In fact, the only King of Fighters game that I had played previously to Maximum Impact was King of Fighters ’99. That alone should say how much of an unbiased opinion I had coming into this game.

I wasn’t full of preconceived notions that it was better than other specific titles or didn’t compare with another game in the genre. Instead, I was coming in completely fresh-faced. So, with that said, let’s take a look, shall we?

Storyline

The base storyline of King of Fighters: Maximum Impact revolves around two gangs; Addis and Mephistopheles. Addis was run by a man called Fate, who was a Robin-Hood style character. However, a little while before the events of the game, Fate is killed by the leader of Mephistopheles, called Duke. Now in complete control of the area known as Southtown, Duke and Mephistopheles decide to hold a fighting tournament, under the guise of a charity called the Metatron Foundation.

This brings together fighters from all over the world, as well as the adoptive children of Addis. That sets up the groundwork for the various character specific storylines. However, when I say character specific storylines, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Apart from a very select handful of characters (I think 4, in total), everyone pretty much has the same experience. They go through the tournament and then face Duke at the end. That’s pretty much it. They don’t get any real swerves or plot twists.

On the other hand, the storyline is expanded on if you play with one of these select few characters I mentioned. This version of the story adds more detail and events, which is nice. It just makes me wonder why the developers didn’t put in a similar level of detail for the rest of the characters. It may have been due to time or budget constraints, and let’s be honest, people don’t play fighting games for the story, but it does feel a little underwhelming if your preferred player character isn’t one of those specific four.

Gameplay

As you would expect with a fighting game, the gameplay is very fast paced. King of Fighters: Maximum Impact feels more in line with the speed and tension you get from the Soul Calibur series, rather than the Street Fighter games. Whilst the latter can be quite fast, Soul Calibur and King of Fighters feels so much more hectic. This can be off-putting for many, as you don’t really have time to think about what you are going to do. Instead, you have to act with near-instant reactions.

Another big change to the series is the team system or lack thereof. King of Fighters: Maximum Impact ditches the team fighting from the previous games, going for a more traditional one on one style fighting game. This changes the entire dynamic of the game, but personally, I feel it was a bit of a setback. Part of the reason why I did play KoF ’99 so much was that it featured the team system. It felt different at the time compared to the more “mainstream” fighting games that I always heard about. I mean, even Tekken implemented it with Tekken Tag Tournament. So to remove it was a bit of a disappointment for me. It made the game feel very much like any other game in the genre.

However, the actual fighting is slick and enjoyable. The difficulty is there, but it isn’t overwhelming either… Plus, there are a huge amount of combos in the game, which reminded me a lot of Bloody Roar for the PSX. There’s also the obligatory Arcade mode, as well as a Time Attack mode where you have to beat as many opponents as you can as fast as you can.

All in all, the gameplay is fun and entertaining but feels like it has lost part of what made King of Fighters stand out from the crowd.

Graphics

The first thing that hit me when I played King of Fighters: Maximum Impact was the fact that it was fully 3D. As stated earlier, the only other game in the series that I had played was KoF ’99 for the PS1. That was a 2D, sprite-based fighting game like the older Street Fighter. However, even by PS2 standards, I do feel that the character models were a bit lacking. If you were to compare it to some of the other big-name titles from other genres (e.g FFX, released 3 years earlier), they feel somewhat dated. This may sound like a pointless comparison, but when you consider everything else that has to go into an RPG (graphically), from the world, characters, monsters and more, you’d expect a fighting game to have far superior graphics.

Why? Well, they only have a limited amount of areas to design, as a very small selection of characters monsters (comparatively speaking). Therefore, they could (theoretically) have spent more time developing the character models. This isn’t to say that the graphics are bad… They really aren’t. They just could have been better…

The jump from 2D to 3D can always be hard for a series, and you can never expect their first attempt to be a resounding success. Because of that, I don’t think the graphics really are a massive negative on the game. They could have been improved, but they aren’t ugly, they don’t make you want to turn away from the screen, and they don’t break the immersion of the fight.

And That’s All Folks

In the end, King of Fighters: Maximum Impact is a pretty good game, that could have been a great game. That’s the only real way to look at it, in my opinion. It is a fun, well-rounded and entertaining fighting game that would be great to play with your friends. It’s just a shame that they removed the aspects that made the series somewhat different, as Maximum Impact really doesn’t stand out from the crowd.

Have you played King of Fighters: Maximum Impact? What did you think? Let me know in the comments below!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/ps2-review-king-of-fighters-maximum-impact/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ps2-review-king-of-fighters-maximum-impact source https://smartstartblogging.tumblr.com/post/175241373605

[smartstartblogging]

PS2 Review – King of Fighters: Maximum Impact

I’m going to preface this review with an admission; I’m not really the biggest fan of fighting games. Sure, I love the old Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat games, but I’ve never been a huge follower of the genre. In fact, the only King of Fighters game that I had played previously to Maximum Impact was King of Fighters ’99. That alone should say how much of an unbiased opinion I had coming into this game.

I wasn’t full of preconceived notions that it was better than other specific titles or didn’t compare with another game in the genre. Instead, I was coming in completely fresh-faced. So, with that said, let’s take a look, shall we?

Storyline

The base storyline of King of Fighters: Maximum Impact revolves around two gangs; Addis and Mephistopheles. Addis was run by a man called Fate, who was a Robin-Hood style character. However, a little while before the events of the game, Fate is killed by the leader of Mephistopheles, called Duke. Now in complete control of the area known as Southtown, Duke and Mephistopheles decide to hold a fighting tournament, under the guise of a charity called the Metatron Foundation.

This brings together fighters from all over the world, as well as the adoptive children of Addis. That sets up the groundwork for the various character specific storylines. However, when I say character specific storylines, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Apart from a very select handful of characters (I think 4, in total), everyone pretty much has the same experience. They go through the tournament and then face Duke at the end. That’s pretty much it. They don’t get any real swerves or plot twists.

On the other hand, the storyline is expanded on if you play with one of these select few characters I mentioned. This version of the story adds more detail and events, which is nice. It just makes me wonder why the developers didn’t put in a similar level of detail for the rest of the characters. It may have been due to time or budget constraints, and let’s be honest, people don’t play fighting games for the story, but it does feel a little underwhelming if your preferred player character isn’t one of those specific four.

Gameplay

As you would expect with a fighting game, the gameplay is very fast paced. King of Fighters: Maximum Impact feels more in line with the speed and tension you get from the Soul Calibur series, rather than the Street Fighter games. Whilst the latter can be quite fast, Soul Calibur and King of Fighters feels so much more hectic. This can be off-putting for many, as you don’t really have time to think about what you are going to do. Instead, you have to act with near-instant reactions.

Another big change to the series is the team system or lack thereof. King of Fighters: Maximum Impact ditches the team fighting from the previous games, going for a more traditional one on one style fighting game. This changes the entire dynamic of the game, but personally, I feel it was a bit of a setback. Part of the reason why I did play KoF ’99 so much was that it featured the team system. It felt different at the time compared to the more “mainstream” fighting games that I always heard about. I mean, even Tekken implemented it with Tekken Tag Tournament. So to remove it was a bit of a disappointment for me. It made the game feel very much like any other game in the genre.

However, the actual fighting is slick and enjoyable. The difficulty is there, but it isn’t overwhelming either… Plus, there are a huge amount of combos in the game, which reminded me a lot of Bloody Roar for the PSX. There’s also the obligatory Arcade mode, as well as a Time Attack mode where you have to beat as many opponents as you can as fast as you can.

All in all, the gameplay is fun and entertaining but feels like it has lost part of what made King of Fighters stand out from the crowd.

Graphics

The first thing that hit me when I played King of Fighters: Maximum Impact was the fact that it was fully 3D. As stated earlier, the only other game in the series that I had played was KoF ’99 for the PS1. That was a 2D, sprite-based fighting game like the older Street Fighter. However, even by PS2 standards, I do feel that the character models were a bit lacking. If you were to compare it to some of the other big-name titles from other genres (e.g FFX, released 3 years earlier), they feel somewhat dated. This may sound like a pointless comparison, but when you consider everything else that has to go into an RPG (graphically), from the world, characters, monsters and more, you’d expect a fighting game to have far superior graphics.

Why? Well, they only have a limited amount of areas to design, as a very small selection of characters monsters (comparatively speaking). Therefore, they could (theoretically) have spent more time developing the character models. This isn’t to say that the graphics are bad… They really aren’t. They just could have been better…

The jump from 2D to 3D can always be hard for a series, and you can never expect their first attempt to be a resounding success. Because of that, I don’t think the graphics really are a massive negative on the game. They could have been improved, but they aren’t ugly, they don’t make you want to turn away from the screen, and they don’t break the immersion of the fight.

And That’s All Folks

In the end, King of Fighters: Maximum Impact is a pretty good game, that could have been a great game. That’s the only real way to look at it, in my opinion. It is a fun, well-rounded and entertaining fighting game that would be great to play with your friends. It’s just a shame that they removed the aspects that made the series somewhat different, as Maximum Impact really doesn’t stand out from the crowd.

Have you played King of Fighters: Maximum Impact? What did you think? Let me know in the comments below!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/ps2-review-king-of-fighters-maximum-impact/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ps2-review-king-of-fighters-maximum-impact