#noxus is definitely to blame

[deathdxnces]

i don't think anyone around her ever even realized irelia might resent or be upset at all about the way she was treated and how much was put on her shoulders and the fact she was a child and none of the adults around her ever even considered it might be too much for her. and i don't think irelia herself acknowledges it proper, but there is definitely some lingering bitterness, i think all the more so nowadays, when the war ended a while ago and she's not useful as she once was and she evidently believes there are things that should be done and that people should prepare to defend ionia and people won't even listen to her after having made her carry the burden of an entire nation at barely fourteen. even when it comes to people she loves, like zinneia? i mentioned it before but i think the role reversal of her master suddenly looking up to her would have severely fucked with her. but yeah even zinneia, i think, in the right circumstances, if pushed enough, irelia might lash out against because of all the repressed bitterness and rage.

honestly it often goes back to rage. she's still very angry, even if she tries not to be and not to seem that way. and she's angry at so many things, not only noxus, really. she never had a chance to heal while everyone else moved on with their lives and now people want to act like everything is fine again but she isn't. and yet, that's not ever something she'll say unless pushed to her limit, because irelia does what she's always done: bear the burden silently, even when it's taxing and thankless.

[imakemywings]

Writing prompt anon again! Thank you for your reply :) I completely understand your situation ;) and yes, your Ambessa & Viktor story brought this on. Recently Ambessa/Elora was suggested, and it occured to me that Elora also has similarities with the boy toy from the show (and maybe even a little bit with Viktor). There is a definite vibe there (imo) ...Anyways, I would’ve prompted you to see what you'd make out of that ship - however, I really get that you can’t make promises etc. So now I'm wondering if instead you'd like to share thoughts on such a possible ship?

Sure, happy to share thoughts! I have a vague memory of seeing Ambessa/Elora pop up somewhere recently as well, although I can't recall exactly where...

Anyway I'm naturally supportive of basically any Ambessa femslash ship XD

Elora has to be top of her game, or she wouldn't be working with the Medardas, and that means she's smart, and probably political, and probably at least a bit cunning. I think that makes her good material for catching Ambessa's eye!

And could anyone blame Elora for being interested? I mean damn. Ambessa has presence. And winning Ambessa over could give Elora some new career options--if she was ever interested in going to Noxus or perhaps being Ambessa's eyes/ears/representative in Piltover.

Also, seducing Elora gives Ambessa something to tease Mel about, and I think she would. (And, if she wanted, she could possibly try to get Elora on her side vis-a-vis any disagreements with Mel.)

So you could either the antagonistic attraction route where Elora is still firmly on Mel's team but is attracted to Ambessa nonetheless, or a more cooperative angle where Elora either sympathizes with Ambessa's perspective or sees gain for herself in allying with Ambessa.

I'm going to put this in the tags in case anyone else has thoughts or fanwork to share!

[space-blue]

Jinx & the Hound dark AU...

I was talking to a commenter on F&D, and was struck by an AU idea I then discussed over on discord and... I just wanna share, because I'm not going to write it :

Episode 3's ending changes a little:

Silco flees, Vi is still taken by Marcus unbeknownst to Powder, Claggor and Mylo are dead... But the shimmer saves Vander's life, and he regains his (mostly) normal form.

He takes Powder home.

Now, they're both dealing with this very poorly. Overwhelmed dad Vander grieving his friend, his three kids, trying to handle Jinx's fraying sanity... It's rough.

He starts projecting Vi on her, because he's only got Jinx left now, and the way he handled Vi is really the best way he knows. Besides, it makes sense to teach Powder how to fight, right? Because she HAS to survive, she's all that Vander has left. She has to know how to protect herself.

Meanwhile Jinx is projecting and trying to both be her sister and outdo her. She has big shoes to fill.

Now this Vander would be darker. He's learnt his lesson too, at the hands of Silco. The Hound is what they truly need, so the Hound is what they'll get. After a while, he starts hunting Silco down, sending people after him.

Can't have a threat like that running around, and Silco proved he's willing to go after his kids.

Years pass. 2, then 3, then 4. Finally, Ekko tracks down information via an ex-convict that Vi was in prison all this time. Vander grabs Marcus off the streets and "convinces" him it's in his best interest to release his daughter from Stillwater. Like, yesterday.

But you see... You see, all this time, Marcus was still owning his position to Silco. He's sheriff because Silco helped, and Silco didn't rat him out. All this time Marcus worked alongside Vander, but Silco secretly had him by the balls.

Now Marcus has to fess up : Vi was released from Stillwater 2 years ago. Into Silco's care.

And this is where we get even darker (but it's ok, no one can accuse me of being a Silco hater lmao). Because Silco didn't have Vi freed to gain goodwill from Vander or anything like that. No.

For the first couple of years, Marcus tells Vi how Vander is growing increasingly violent in Zaun. The new arrivals in Stillwater definitely corroborate this. He also tells her that he refuses to trade for Vi. That he's replaced her with her sister.

After a couple of years of this, Silco freeing her would cast him into a saviour's light, but it's hardly enough for Vi to trust him, after he killed Benzo and created the incident that sparked her brothers' death. [Mind you, Vi has had a couple terrible years to cook in her cell, and she's deep into blaming herself. If she hadn't brought them, if she hadn't done the job, if she hadn't—]

But hey, it's fine, Silco only has to take Vi down to Zaun, to witness for herself how the Hound is back, and how Jinx has turned into this violent, bomb loving bruiser, with a single braid and half her head shaved, her name at the top of the score board in the old game room...

WORSE, Vi could try to reach out to "Powder". Vi wouldn't know about her ghosts, and Jinx, fearing nothing more than Vi's "return", that would take Vander's attention away from her again, reacts very poorly. And I mean, she fully believes this Vi is a ghost/vision, not her real sister. But the idea alone freaks her out completely.

She screams at Vi to fuck off, that she can't take Vander from her again.

Vi returns to Silco, devastated, and the two of them ship off to Noxus to regroup/use his contacts/be mercs or whatever.

Time goes on and neither Jinx nor Vander realise this interaction happened "for real". By the time Vander learns the truth from Marcus, it's far too late.

While in Noxus, Vi and Silco were tracked down by the assassins Vander set on Silco's tail, further solidifying the antagonism against "the Hound".

Of course Vander didn't know Vi was with Silco when he ordered him killed. And Silco might have gotten Vi because she was the perfect tool and would hurt Vander more than anything when turned on him, but he grows to love her as a daughter too.

How fucked up of a family reunion would that be, when Vi and Silco deem their new plan ready enough to return to Piltover?

You know what, I have no idea. Please feel free to reblog or comment with suggestions and finish up the thing. Heck, feel free to write the AU.

[mediacrushin]

Arcane act 3 spoilers

They really love their framing I swear, there were several shots I was just mooning over.

Anyway, I’m clearly not alone hoping we get a second season to continue this story, but with the note and point it ended on I could see it as a wrap on the series. We have the head of Zaun gone, and multiple members of the Council definitely gone [we know Viktor and Jayce will survive since they’re champions, and people are hoping for Mel as a new champ but I’m not really holding my breath on that, so presumably everyone in that room but those two are dead] cementing the conflict between the two parties continuing. [And hey probably also some issues with Noxus] Vi and Cait are back together to go on to their Piltover’s Finest team up. Echo and Heimerdinger are off fine doing their own thing... There’s a lot left to speculation for all of them from here, but we’ve been given enough to see how each of them got from point A in Act 1 Episode 1 to point B how we know them in the main game. If there’s more, I’ll be ecstatic. If not, I think I’ll be okay with what we’ve got. It was all beautiful.

One other thing I thought was interesting was the final scene with Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, and Silco. I clocked from the moment the sisters were reunited, that Vi’s feelings for and image of her sister were frozen at the moment of their last interaction. Powder calling for her saying she needed her, Vi hurting her and blaming herself for everything that had gone wrong. She was babying Jinx, pushing for her to be Powder and not worry about any of the things she did. She blamed it all on Silco, and refused to even let herself consider that her little sister Powder could ever do any of the things she’d heard she’d done by then willingly of her own accord. And it’s really heartbreaking that Vi really just did not understand her sister’s mental state. And her last plea for Powder to wake up really just shined the brightest light on that. She begs her to remember their old family, but doesn’t understand that those people weren’t lionized in Jinx’s mind, they were monsters. And it’s wild to have Vi tell Cait about her chasing monsters away when she and Powder were children, but then in this moment basically throwing Jinx to them instead. And Jinx was Jinx before she even walked into that building and gave her sister the choice of which seat she should take... she just hoped Vi could accept the new her even if she wasn’t Powder anymore.

What a phenomenal series, truly. A beautifully told story.

Also Cait and Vi are hella gay and there’s nothing anyone could say to change my mind.

[violinsandchains]

Headcanons about Magnus, Magnus’ family, and some Swain because this is all I’m going to talk about for the next month or so

Cut because it’s long (but bulletpointed. in no particular order though)

Heads up/PSA: Magnus is FtM. I do deadname him and use female pronouns for him when talking about him pre-transition through the perspective of another character who WOULD use that name/pronouns for him at that time period.

Swain was always the calm and composed one at least outwardly while Magnus, especially younger Magnus (childhood through young adulthood) was absolutely balls to the wall rabid

Magnus experiences heats/a state similar to a heat and his PMS is horrible. Swain has the basic cis male understanding of periods probably from being an educated kid and from, well, having an AFAB best friend who told him all about it in gruesome detail as it was happening, but Magnus’ hormones had him literally feral with turbulent emotions and urges while Swain kinda just sat there like “maybe killing your parents over the tone of their voice is a little bit dramatic? would you like a glass of water to calm down sis?”

Swain: says something insensitive once probably without even meaning it or thinkinf much of it. Magnus, leaning into his face, eyes wide: i will bleed all over your mothers expensive white linens and blame y o u

After acquiring Raum swain can sense/smell magnus’ heats and the first time this happened after they reunited it assaulted swain’s senses like a ton of bricks because he didn’t know he can Do That Now That He’s Part Demonic. He never closely associated with any vastaya besides magnus and his family so post-Raum he never got to be NEAR one even, because magnus was MIA and marden is, well, male. Needless to say Swain is bewildered and whenever Magnus is in heat Swain, via raum, gets thrown into an almost primal headspace. You can imagine what he wants to do.

Dextera is a full shapeshifter vastaya while marden is very visibly part animal, with dextera being able to shift forms from wolf to human at will and control her feral behavior to perfection, and marden having his wolf ears and tail constantly out in the open unless he conceals them with glamour potions and generally not understanding or connecting well with humans. Magnus genetically leans towards marden’s feralness, so his animal parts are also always out, but he’s got dextera’s playfulness and charm mixed in with marden’s eccentricity making him sociable but EXTREMELY out of touch with how a human should act and behave, despite dextera’s best efforts to teach him how to blend into a crowd

Dextera would be the type to act perfectly happy and comfortable while mingling with aristocratic humans and Marden would be all awkward, quiet and stiff because he’s just a nerd alchemist with wolf DNA who would very much like Not to be there but gritted his teeth through it for reputation’s sake

Magnus would like to run around on all fours, nuzzled/licked people he liked or inappropriately hugged them/touched them, growled and snarled at people he hated, would DEFINITELY use piss to spite people and was generally considered an absolute weirdo and was picked on despite belonging to a technically esteemed family

Dextera would be sad her kid cant seem to fit in, while marden would be upset and even ashamed magnus was acting like that, torn between being mad at magnus for being an embarrassing child to being mad at humans for being racist.  Marden probably proposed moving to ionia out of sheer desperation but both parents were too loyal to noxus to leave, With dextera being literally born there and refusing to just throw away all her effort to rise up in power and marden being too stubborn to leave after spitting on demacia and deciding consciously to ally himself with noxus.

i dont know how magnus met swain yet Theyre around the same age and i imagine it happened when they were relatively small kids Maybe house swain commissioned dextera for a painting, maybe even an enchanted one so marden had to be involved as well and they took baby magnus with them eventually (dexteras idea. She saw house swain had a child around the same age as magnus and suggested they let the kids play while she and marden worked. Marden was absolutely horrified because wow magnus will do something weird and its house SWAIN and theyre INFLUENCIAL but dextera was like "dw honey its ok let it happen theyre nice clients. ^^")

Magnus inevitably does every weird possible thing much to mardens dismay but baby jericho is kind of intrigued rather than scared or disgusted, and his parents think magnus is cute and jericho doesnt have friends either bc hes a stuck up loner ruvik case and dextera is DELIGHTED her baby made a friend while marden is sweating bullets like "this WILL go wrong" but nope House swain and house kracht sort of become close through the parents' business affairs and the fact their weird, lonely kids bonded

[bunnibai]

... *sits down* Let’s talk about Ari’s relationship with love. 

Ari grew up with two parents who did not marry for love. Ari’s dad was a war hero and gifted a spot in the city, and her mother was from another city entirely to an upper class family; it was purely for money and status (particularly being a family of the same race, god forbid they end up with a mixed child). At least, this is the story Aridove was told. With the whole Luxon and Noxus thing, who knows if it’s true. Either way, don’t get it twisted; Ari’s parents never really loved each other. They rarely spent time together at all, even less so that Ari herself saw. But on the occasions she did see them together, it was never lovingly. It was like a business relationship, polite and cordial but definitely not in love with one another. Aridove never saw them kiss, or hug, or say I love you. It was like having two business partners living together. 

Aridove first learned that this wasn’t a normal thing with Edea? Edea herself wasn’t married, but she happily talked about her son and his grandchildren and it confused Ari at first, seeing pictures of them hugging and laughing and being in love. She didn’t get it, how something so business-oriented looked so magical. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but part of the reason Ari is so dead set on Lanna being her friend is because, to Aridove, marriage isn’t something you do because you love someone. She’s aware that that’s how it is in books and with most families, but only ever in theory. Never up close. You can be told that marriage is cute and lovely and magical over and over, but if you only hear about it through stories and books, it won’t seem any more real than other ideals like world peace or ending racism. It wasn’t real. And it definitely wasn’t real for her. 

Ari herself was told she was going to be married off from a pretty early age. She never really minded? She saw it the same way she saw her parent’s marriage; a business transaction. He was sweet enough, at least, from what Aridove saw. She was never ever in love with him, or even really liked him more than a pretty okay friend, but her standards were already so low she had wanted to quietly accept her marriage. At least maybe her and Thallan would be friendly after they were married. That would have been enough for her. 

We don’t talk about it enough, but Ari has a rebellious streak a lot bigger than she lets on. It’s hard to see when she’s surrounded by “5th regicide” gang but when placed in her home she broke a lot of rules, and it’s a miracle she was never killed. That rebellious itch was what she had blamed for the terrible, terrible feeling surrounding the marriage. The way she said and assured herself she didn’t mind, but would purposely dodge any of Thallan’s advances and turn him down when things like dates were ever brought up. It didn’t help that Lanna didn’t like him, and if Lanna didn’t like someone, Ari immediately got weary. Ari doesn’t like to talk about her least favorite birthday, but it’s when she sort of solidified the running-away-with-Lanna thing and really decided that marrying Thallan wasn’t in the plan. 

Did she ever think about marrying Lanna? Not once. To her, marrying Lanna would feel like she was ruining the relationship. Like she was taking something special and turning it into a business transaction. The idea of putting Lanna anywhere near Brinatia customs and traditions made her feel really uneasy and sick. And then after she died, people started teasing her about having a relationship with Lanna. A lot. Only one other person has ever really done this? But he was less “you need to marry her” and more “wow Lanna really deserves better” but like in a joking way (and I can go into more detail about this if y’all want, Olli isn’t meanspirited but if he’s ever openly nice to Ari assume he’s been replaced). Ari is suddenly thrust into this setting where marrying Lanna isn’t only a viable option, but encouraged. And she hates that. Or she did, anyways. 

That’s why she insists she’s straight, that her and Lanna are just friends. To be in a relationship, to add these labels she’s only ever seen be used in order to hurt and manipulate and trap. Well. 

That doesn’t sound like her and Lanna at all. 

If Laci doesn’t mind, I wanna place that conversation the night before they storm the ziggurat. Ari was dealing with a lot that night? A lot of feelings. I’m writing a meta about that next but Luxon really fucked her up in a way that she wasn’t expecting but she doesn’t want to say anything, but basically, she asked Quill what the ring was for? And Quill points Oukki out of the Order, and says that they were planning to get married. Ari says that it must have sucked, having to get married, but like? Quill seems to like Oukki? So Ari was confused. Quill tells Ari that Oukki was the best person, and Ari asks why they got married if that was the case. Ari goes on to explain that marriage ruins everything and Quill is like “no???”. She says marriage is taking two ribbons (pleading,,) and tying you both together and saying that they will be together no matter what. Ari starts stuttering and rambling and says that she’s never seen a marriage like that. 

Quill is. The least traditional person Ari has ever met besides maybe Lanna. I could go on and on about how Ari feels about Quill, but she’s definitely never seem Quill as someone to agree with stupid Brinatia customs. So to her it’s like, that really means something. That Quill spoke such good about it. And it’s the first time she’s ever really considered. 

...

...should she marry Lanna? 

[darkdevasofdestruction]

I'd love to read some of your headcannons for Rakan! Or maybe Vladimir. Your choice! c:

It’s so refreshing to take a break from match ups! Thank you for this request

RAKAN

He’s the lover, so basically, he’d do literally ANYTHING for his S/O

Especially if it’s something he can do that would make them smile

This good boi lives to please his partner

If you’re sad, he’s sad, so if you’re both sad, that means the only way to solve this is with ice cream and dancing away your sorrows

Of course, he’s not ALWAYS goofy, since he needs to be serious from time to time and face the reality and problems that you’re facing together, so he’ll act like a mature man, since he’s supposed to be his S/O’s support through and through, protecting you with everything he’s got, but once the threat it over, he’ll just jump on his S/O, showering them with kisses and just cuddling with them like a needy kitten

He’d definitely give random surprise gifts to his lover, just to see how the gleeful sparkle in their eyes

Will tell them he loves them at least 103843471 times a day, and each time, it’s more and more meaningful

Very soft boi who loves you  for life

I can see him as the cold and super teasing kind of boyfriend tbh

He’d act a lot to annoy you and trigger you, wanting to see all your cute reactions and all that, but deep inside, he knows what he’s doing isn’t the best thing and that he’s wrong

He’d also randomly ask to take a taste of your sweet blood, but even if you’d agree, he wouldn’t indulge, because that wouldn’t be good for you, and your well-being is top priority for you

Vladimir is aware that he has tons of enemies and responsibilities, and especially the Noxus that is extremely dangerous, so he has to act in such a way as to make sure there is no threat towards you, because if anything happens to his ray of hope, the only light he has, he’ll literally go insane with grief

If you ever get injured or attacked, he will blame himself and slaughter all the enemies ruthlessly, then hold you tightly, trying not to let himself show weakness, saying how it’s all his fault that happened to you and that he’s too dangerous to stay around

If you choose to still stay with him, he’d show much more affection towards you, letting loose and allowing himself to be human, not some hemomancer murderer as he’s always been, remembering that emotions are worth it, in the end, and love especially, is a one of a kind feeling he’d never get to experience again

[ur-mom-kayn]

Loyalty Chapter 36: The Conference

Kayn Pov

"Shit, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Damn ... you have to hate me from the bottom of your heart." "Nonsense! Kayn, no one can care for his origins. It's only important what you make of your life. You deliberately chose against Noxus as soon as you had the opportunity." Kayn just felt shitty. He hated his blood more than anything else. Even though he seems very much in love with himself, he hated himself for his origin. He still finds it difficult to claim to be Ionian. It would simply be a lie. "The fact remains that I killed Ionier. Innocent and good people. Even if I did not kill your girlfriend, maybe I killed another man's girlfriend. I'm no different than these monsters." Kayn rarely looked so depressed.

Akio recognized his desperation. He put an arm around Kayn's shoulders and pulled him closer to him. "Shit Akio. Why are you just such a good big brother? You would have the right to treat me like the last bit of filth, but instead, you try to cheer me up as you tell me your tragic story. Crap! Besides Zed, you were my greatest teacher. Except for the little squabbles, you've always treated me fairly, though I have the fucking face of a Noxian." "Yes, but a very pretty face." Akio desperately smiled at Kayn while his little brother pulled on his knees and tried his face to hide. "Honestly, I should have been a much better brother to you. I should have stood up to Zed more than he gave you house arrest. I tried to convince him to release you, but he did not listen to me. Do you know Kayn, I never cared about your origin. You are my little brother like everyone else. You are the only family I have. And when I see one of my brothers suffer, it hurts me too. I promise you that I will protect you at this conference, even though it will be the last thing I do."

Kayn could barely believe what Akio was saying to him. He did not know this side of him. No way the people of the order are cruel monsters. The order is a brotherhood. The fact had lost sight of Kayn lately. Since Rhaast ... Now stop it! I am always to blame for your miserable life. Your brother is trying to tell you all the time that he cares about you and the entire order. Now, raise yourself again and tell him how thankful you are. Rhaast was right for once. Kayn raised his head and sought the hug to Akio. Somewhat perplexed, his opponent also accepted it. "Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to be your brother. I never want to disappoint you and the others again. We have to rock the conference. We must ensure that the Order of Shadow is recognized as part of Ionia. I do not want to see any victims on our site anymore. We need an alliance, otherwise, Noxus overruns us sooner or later. We know that they are not sticking to the League's peace agreements. But we. It is our duty tomorrow to let the cat out of the bag. Unfortunately, I am not the best speaker. I hope you can help me."

Akio pushed his little brother closer to him so he lay on top of him. This closeness was unusual, but not unpleasant. "Kayn, I do not think it would be a good idea to start talking in the middle of the conference. I'll only talk when I'm asked." "And what do you think you think, should I do?" "What you do best. Just be charming. Wrap the old bags around your finger and do not stir. If something happens, I will protect you. You can trust me 100%." Kayn looked up at his brother and smiled at him. "That's why I ordered you here too. I like to go on missions with you. It's lame because it's so boring, but I know I'm safe." "Yes ... Hey, look! Master Zed has an Ace. Is that good?" Akio pointed a finger at the screen. Kayn immediately looked at the replay. "Yes, his triple kill allowed him to score an ace, so his team can now push the base through. The nexus will fall now. He will be with us in about 10 minutes. We should have a concrete plan by then." "I felt I did not understand a word. However, we have a plan. I'll shut up and you're just the dream of all your mother-in-law. Sounds good, right?" Kayn took a seat next to Akio again before Zed would catch them. He definitely did not want to send false signals to his lover, even though this intimacy between Akio and him was purely fraternal.

A few minutes later, Zed appeared in his room. "What? Are you both peacefully in a bed? That I may still experience the day." Zed took off his blades and sat on the edge of the bed. "We have set aside our differences." "I'm glad. And do you have a plan for tomorrow?" Both men bent to their Master. Actually, their plan was nothing to do with it. But Zed did not have to know that. "Well. How about food? I could order something." "Sounds nice, Master, but sometimes another thing. The conference is tomorrow. Where should I sleep?" "You can take my room. I'll just sleep with Zed ... " "KAYN, YOU IDIOT!" Zed screamed at him.

"What do you mean, you can sleep with Zed? Is something going on there?" "NO! This jerk wanted to say something completely different, Kayn agrees?" The young Akolyth was just overwhelmed with the situation. What should he say now? "Eh ... no, there's nothing going on." "And why did you suppose Zed just let you sleep with him?" "Well, I slept with him for about 5 months because I did not have a room." Zed slaps his hand against his iron mask. "Kayn, you've never been so stupid, you know that?" As Zed groused his student, Akio looked shocked. "Look, that means you know Master Zed's face. Is that so? And please tell me the truth." "Well done, Kayn. Now I have to tell the truth. Yes, he knows my face. But not because he did not have a room, but because he was like a son to me. He has known me since he was 12." "Your Seriousness, Master?! I founded the order with you. Why do not you trust me? How did I give you a reason to doubt?"

Kayn felt guilty. Zed's identity was a very sensitive topic and now he is confronted with it because of him. "Akio please believe me. It has nothing to do with you and my trust in you. I never really wanted to show my face to Kayn. I harmed him and he still held to me. I revealed to him out of guilt because I was afraid he would not trust me anymore." "And what about me? You just hurt me too. How do you want to regain my trust?" "Is my face so important to you?" "No. Actually, I do not care what my master looks like because I thought you would treat us all the same. But now I start to doubt. I know you have white-gray eyebrows and a scar on your left eye. What's so bad about showing me the rest?" "Nice ... whatever you want."

Just as Zed was taking off his mask Kayn pushed in between. "Are you really sure? I do not think Akio wants to force you to do that." "Kayn let it be good. We have known each other for so long. He's right. It just would not be fair. He gave up a lot for me. No one trained as hard as Akio. Unlike you, he had no talent. He always was too scared to fight. And now look at him. He is my 2nd strongest man and not without reason. He trusted me when I promised to make him powerful and now I should trust him. He will not hurt me." Zed removes the mask and pulls down his hood. Akio opened his eyes to his fluffy, white back. "Are you really sure? Just that you are ready to show me your face is enough for me. "Zed did not answer his student. Instead, he turned to look at Akio, so that he could inevitably look into his face. A very special moment for everyone present.

Akio seemed a bit shocked, but not horrified. What was going on in him? "So how old are you again?", Akio asked. "28 Why?" At the answer, Akio had to swallow briefly. "I beg your pardon? You were a child when you recruited me. How can that be?"  Do you understand now why I always wore a mask? No one would follow me if they knew what I looked like. I'm not ugly, but young and my look looks very demonic. I tried to find recruits like that, but I did not find one. It was not fair to think that you would not follow me if I did not wear this mask. But let's face it. If you had seen me with that face when you ran against me, would you still have been so confident in asking me to take your revenge?" "No ... I would not have trusted you to do that. I always thought that you are older than me and now I find out that you are 7 years younger. I am shocked. But also deeply impressed. I was surprised when Kayn led the order at the age of 15. But you founded it with ... 17-18 years. You two are real workhorses. I'm proud of you. I am honored to serve you. I do not really care about the look. Also that you have white hair, a few scars and shitty looking young. I'm grateful that you trust me, and I promise you I'll never abuse that trust." "I'm glad," Zed replied, grinning slightly. Even Akio had to start grinning inevitably.

After a leisurely meal, Zed played one or the other match in the summoners rift. When it was finally over, Zed and Kayn met him, Akio slept in Kayn's room for the night. The next morning they met again at Kayn.

Even though the strategy had been clarified so far, it was still unclear what they would look like. "Hey Kayn, I took some of the traditional kimono order. You should wear it." Akio handed him a beautiful violet kimono. "And what do we do with his hair?" Zed asked. "I thought about splitting his hair. The bottom side stays open and the top side back and braided." "Mmmh ... ", Zed thought about the suggestion. "I did not understand anything," Kayn stated. "If you want, I can style you. But only if I'm allowed to touch your hair." Akio suggested. Actually, Kayn just wanted to let Zed by his hair, but he did not believe that he had understood what Akio had imagined. "You may, but only this once. If you hurt me, you'll be a head shorter." "Do not worry, brother." Akio reached for Kayn's crest and set to work. After 5 minutes it was done and the hairstyle was sitting. Kayn had to admit that his brother got it. His braid was a lot cleaner than Zeds. Just as he was about to get ready, there was a knock at the door. Kayn went to the door and opened it to his guest. To his surprise, Shen stood at the door. "Hey Uncle Shen, how can I help you?" "I thought maybe to help you. I just wanted to inform you that the whole conference is only spoken ionic. I hope that will not be a problem for you. Zed said you could speak fluently." "Yes, even without an accent. Do not worry Shen. I'll understand what the old crackers have to say." "That's nice, but please do not call them old crackers. That's not good," Shen pointed out. Kayn was not that stupid again. Shen said goodbye to Kayn and went before.

After they got dressed, Akio and Kayn went to the conference room with the Rhaast and a few blades. The room was inside the Ionian district so outsiders were not allowed in. Unfortunately, exactly what both had feared happened. Two guards were at the door and caught the two. "What will that be, if I may ask?" One of the guards asked, "Ehm, we are from the Order of Shadow and we have been invited." Kayn replied in a quiet tone. "That may be, but you can not get in here with the weapons. Unfortunately, we have to confiscate them." "But Rhaast is more than just a weapon, I even have permission to take him anywhere in the Institution of War." "Everywhere except here," the guard countered, "And what do we do now?" Akio whispered to Kayn. "Plan B.," he replied, annoyed. "I'll call Varus, he's the only one I can give Rhaast now, just a moment." Kayn pulled out his phone and called Varus. Shortly thereafter, the Darkin appeared. "Thanks for coming so soon." "Yeah, I have a match right now, so just get him out of my room when you're done, good luck." Varus took his brother and disappeared as fast as he came. "And that was ...?" "One of Rhaast's brothers." Akio looked after Varus in surprise. "Did not think he looked so ... human." Kayn had to chuckle for a moment, remembering the words Rhaast always used to describe his pants. "Yes, so Varus devoured 2 people, so maybe that's why. But Aatrox is very different, he looks pretty scary, there's nothing human about him, like Rhaast, just bigger," Kayn said.

After that was settled, Akio also gave his weapons off. He did not need it anyway, as long as his counterpart had some. That's exactly what made Kayn so startled. He was sure the others were allowed to keep their weapons. When they were completely unarmed, they were finally allowed to pass. Kayn civilized opened the door and looked around first. The room was a huge conference table covered with name tags so each clan knew its place. Everyone was already sitting, except for Kayn. The guards stood behind one, so, unfortunately, Akio had to stand. Kayn sat down next to Master Wong and Master Shu. Both come from the northern provinces. Actually, Kayn knew that only because he has always taken care of history lessons. It was important for him to know the Ionian story. And now he just sat next to such great, historic personalities. "Hello, young man, who are you? I have never seen you before." Master Shu asked. Kayn smiled charmingly at him. "Pleased to meet you in person Master Shu. It's an honor to meet the man who was able to tame a real dragon. You have to be of real size. My name is Shieda Kayn. I represent the Order of Shadow, rather than Zed." When the name Zed fell, Kayn got all the attention of the table, and the old cracker at the bottom of the head table said, "You two are Zed's students? Underwear models?", Almost amused, stated the elder.

"Thank you for the compliment. In fact, every one of my brothers, including Zed, looks good. We pay great attention to our health and our appearance. I'm sorry if we cause confusion." Kayn just tried to be frank and smile constantly. Not so easy. "Speaking of the new ones, tell us why you would like to take the advice." Master Wong asked. "To be honest, we hope for a possible alliance with other provinces and clans. We are still very often attacked by Noxians on the Navoricoast. While we can ward them off, for the most part, it will only be a matter of time before they completely kill us." "Do not talk shit Kayn," Irelia intervened. "There is peace through the league. Noxus must not attack us." "Ah, is that so? What nonsense. Do you seriously believe Noxian itches such an agreement? We have a pile of documents in which it is recorded when and how often we have defended the coast. I alone have recently extinguished 100 at a stroke. The threat is real and unthinkable. You have to believe me." "I believe you Kayn," Shen said. "In fact, there has been an imbalance on the coast recently. Maybe that's because of the increase in Noxians." While everyone was brooding, Akio slowly leaned towards Kayn and whispered something in his ear. "Even if it does not look that way at first glance, they are all armed. So watch what you say."

Kayn nodded and continued. "So what should we do about the Noxians? We can not tribe alone on the coast." "That may be, but I hope you understand that under no circumstances we want to start another war. Without proof, we can not attack Noxus," said one of the elders. "So what should we do? Spying on the Noxians?" Karma asked. "There is a possibility that they might hold council meetings like us. It would be possible to eavesdrop on them," suggested Master Yi. "Not a good idea. How should we do that? Maybe they will discuss in oldnoxic. It's impossible for us to understand a word," Shu explained. "That does not necessarily have to be. Kayn could spy on them," Shen suggested. Kayn immediately lost his cool expression and opened his eyes wide. "What the fuck Uncle Shen? How do you know that I am just made for this job?" "Well, on the one hand, you can not only run unnoticed through walls, but you can also stay in it. Besides, you can understand oldnoxic." Suddenly all eyes are on Kayn again. Shen, the jerk.

"That is absurd. I can not speak the language. There's no reason to." "Sure, you're a Noxian by birth." Kayn's heart stopped for a moment. For so many years, he tore his ass off to be one of them, and now everyone sees him as a monster again. As if that was not bad enough, Akali suddenly lunged at Kayn. She jumped onto the conference table and aimed her blade at Kayn's throat. Just before the blade could hit the young acolyte, Akali stopped. The Shadow Owner was just up.

[tragedybunny]

The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends Fanfiction - Chapter 3

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected. Katarina/Swain 

“Katarina.” He shakes me awake roughly, the grey light filtering in through the windows tells me dawn hasn’t even arrived yet. That softer ambience of the night before has vanished, something ice cold filling it’s place. He’s standing over me, exuding impatience, his dark eyes impenetrable. He turns away from me as soon as it’s clear I’m awake.

“Out, I need time to think.” I sit up and absentmindedly run a hand through my hair, trying to erase last night from my thoughts. I hastily dress to leave for my room, needing to put that physical distance between us.

He doesn’t turn back to face me, staring out the window at the endless white in the distance. The color rises in my cheeks and I feel like I’m suffocating. I push it down, it’s foolishness, I know what we are. I try to focus on that, reminding myself how we came to be where we are now. Still I nearly sprint across the hall, the worn floorboards creaking beneath my feet. As soon as the door shuts I lean against it, trying to recover myself.

“Come on, let it go.” I prod myself. I notice at least my trunk got brought up at some point. I dig through it for the white fur set, and change from yesterday’s traveling clothes. I can already feel the chill settling into my bones.

I’d made a point before we left of asking Darius about what to expect all the way out here. We’d been in one of my favorite drinking holes, dark and anonymous, the kind of place where you can forget for awhile. We were getting pleasantly drunk, watching Draven fall off his barstool for the fourth time that night and hit on anyone who looked like they might come home home with him.

Darius smiled in a way that was slightly bitter. “The cold is unyielding, the people are fierce and elusive, and it’s easy to lose moral.” He wouldn’t say more, evidently not wanting to relive his time there too deeply. “Truthfully I’m shocked Jericho is taking it on himself to go up there.”

I shrugged. “I guess it’s important to him.”

“Well at least he knows he won’t get cold at night.” He shoots me a grin. I hadn’t told him the whole truth about how our arrangement started so to him it was quite often a source of amusement. The two of us live together and fuck, very funny.

I slug his shoulder, hard enough to dump some of the drink he’s holding on him. “Don’t”

He laughs loud enough several heads turn toward us. “Hey, can’t say I blame him.”

I drained my drink “That’s it, I’m going home. You can babysit Draven by yourself. By the way he’s on the floor again.”

“He’ll live. Take care of yourself up there, Kat.”

“I will.” I couldn’t actually get mad at him. The two of them were really some of the only people I’d call friends. Unfortunately they were also Jericho’s friends, which made things awkward at times.

I ran a brush through my hair, staring into the small dingy mirror mounted on the rough wood wall, and pinned it back. My stomach reminded me I hadn’t eaten since before we had arrived last night.

If I hurried I catch the Officer’s mess and avoid the chaos of the main camp. Another perk of the job I suppose. Also if I was lucky he’d stay in his room and I could avoid him long enough to finish sorting myself out.

The small hall of the keep was filled with both the Officers we’d brought with and the staff stationed here. I sat as far as possible from any of them as possible, trying to be inconspicuous. I could already hear the whispers. Most of the officers know about my profession but still they wonder if I’m here as part of some plot they don’t know about or just for the Grand General’s comfort. I wonder the same.

Finally in middle of eating as fast as humanly possible someone dares to sit down next to me. She looks young and haughty, possibly a Shuriman transplant.

“Good morning. I’m Captain Veera.” Her accent confirms her birthplace, and her greeting is full of false civility. She’s clearly after something, I don’t know or care what.

I nod in acknowledgement, trying my best to discourage conversation. She doesn’t take the hint though. “And if I’m not mistaken you are…”

“Not interested in socialising, clearly.” There’s a threat in my tone, there’s no denying it.

Her eyes widen a bit. “I guess one can’t expect much from the Grand Whore of Noxus.”

Something inside me snaps, I was already having a bad morning. I’m out of my seat and behind before she can react. I grab her arm, twisting it behind her, pull her wrist towards her other shoulder. My other hand grips her by the hair, her face slamming into the table, the crunch of her nose is audible. Blackness invades the edges of my vision.

Everyone should be staring at us. I realize with a sense of dread they are staring behind me toward the doors of the hall. “Katarina.” His voice is low and dangerous. I bite my lip and suck in a breath.

I release the Captain and turn to face him. He crosses his arms and glowers at me. “A word, upstairs, now.”

“Yes, Grand General.” I hurry and follow him as the crowd gathers around to asses the damage I’ve done.

I shut the door behind me when we reach his room to hopefully preserve at least some of my dignity. I find a spot on the floor to stare at. I’m not proud of losing my temper, and even more ashamed that he saw it. It feels too familiar, this sense of failure. “Was that wholly necessary?”

“It seemed so in the moment.” I still don’t look up.

He reaches out and tilts my chin up to look at him. “Control yourself from now on. I will smooth over this mess. Understood?” He releases me.

I nod. There’s no playful flirting in his orders this time, he’s strictly my commander at the moment.

“Good. I have a job for you once our guests arrive. Since you’re not military, get out among them, be friendly, asses their mood.” I feel my brows knit together but I don’t protest, I suppose I’m just relieved he’s decided not to lecture me. “Don’t make that face, I know you hate mingling, but you’re here and you may as well make yourself useful.”

He suddenly softens though and runs a hand through my hair. “Besides, you’re actually quite alluring when you want to be.”

I let myself lean against his hand, just a little. “That almost feels like it was supposed to be a compliment.” I hate this weakness, this wanting.

“Don’t be intentionally obtuse, of course it was.” He kisses the top of my head, a gesture I’ve grown to assume means he’s pleased with me. He’s so close, I want him closer, to pull me into his arms. I know he won’t, now’s not the time.

A horn sounds from somewhere in the camp, our guests approach. “Go on, I don’t need you to be immediately associated with me.”

“Of course.” I turn to leave, it feels more like I’m fleeing his presence for the second time this morning. I make way through the fort, now bustling with activity, Noxians hurrying to serve the Empire’s interest. Thankfully they’re too busy to do other than ignore me as I slip out into the encampment that has sprung up around the permanent barracks.

Snow lightly drifts from the sky as I watch the heavy gates of the walls swing open. In the distance I can make out the band of barbarians approaching. The officer’s servants have clustered off to the side of the main stairs, out of the way of the frantic activity. I slip among them, those that notice wisely say nothing.

They enter the gates and I can study them better. Clad in furs, they bear no uniformity in weapons or style, a frozen reflection of the Empire’s own warbands in a way. They look hardened and wary, as one would expect from the people that live here. Except at their head is a rather young looking girl, hair as white as snow, on her back the bow of True Ice she’s known for. The leader who’s gathered these disparate peoples to herself. They cling to her, there’s definite fear here, you can almost smell it. They wonder what does Noxus want with them.

General Argos approaches and welcomes them, a good many seem to speak the Common tongue and understand him. Argos is suited to the task, a solid and level man, and a staunch Trifarix loyalist, he manages that first introduction without incident.

And that’s when the doors to the Keep swing open, he does have a flair for the dramatic when he wants. The Grand General emerges, black armor polished to perfection, and despite the cold, wearing the coat that is his signature, left arm carefully concealed within. Even here, at the end of the world, the sound of ravens can be heard in the distance.

[shadow-acolyte]

"I'm not sure what Zed sees in you, but if he sees something I trust his judgement. To survive being a motherless child of Noxus is a trial." - Talon

Kayn stares at the note as his eyes narrow with a disguised scorn.He blamed no one, he regretted nothing of his past. Or at least, that was what he wanted to believe.

“There is a difference between us: I am no longer Noxian, I am no longer stained by their weakness and cowardice. You remained in such nation of despair and misery. Perhaps it is you sympathize with them?

- The Shadow Reaper.

@definitely-not-altairPS: Don’t you dare enter our territory to hunt Master Zed.”

[deathdxnces]

am curious. how would irelia feel about knowing kayn is born noxian?

or in other words, what's her opinion about nature vs nurture.

— @axewhirl

GOOD QUESTION, IT LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE THANKS FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS ILY REY

so. irelia's feelings about noxus and noxians are very simple, of course — they deserve to die. i've spoken before about the dehumanization of the enemy and how it was also a coping mechanism to her, but when it comes to long-term effects, it definitely impacted her ability (and willingness, perhaps more importantly) to show them any sympathy. they're not people. she's content to look at them as barely human, in a way. of course it's not that easy, but she had no reason to challenge that notion so far (except, perhaps, during the sentinels event with riven but... bleh i don't like how anything about irelia and being a sentinel was handled).

which is an overly rambly prologue to get to the real question. how would she feel about learning kayn is noxian? i think there's no ultimate answer for that, because to a point it depends on her relationship with kayn. were she to see him as an enemy, wouldn't it be simple to blame how awful he is on his noxian birth? but i personally don't think an enemy is ever what she sees in him; she doesn't look down on the yanlei as much as many other ionians, because she is well aware their origin as an order and her own path aren't that unlike. they chose to fight. they did things considered extreme. so did she — even if not to the same extent, and even if there are things she disagrees with them greatly, such as the matter of wild magic.

in game, her interaction with kayn is the same as for other 'ionian villains' (zed, syndra and jhin iirc). she wants to believe there's good in him, as she wants to believe there's good in any of the others. would she still be as hopeful if she knew he was noxian? honestly, without a personal connection, maybe not. but i'm inclined to say regardless of having any sort of relationship with him, knowing he's noxian by birth wouldn't ultimately result on her regarding him as a lost cause. because despite everything, kayn is ionian in every way that matters. he was raised as ionian for a good portion of his life, he fights for ionia too. he hates noxians as much as she does. how can she possibly just throw him along the rest of them?

so, yes, i think despite her views on noxus as a whole, she wouldn't think he's fated to be just like the other noxians because he's noxian by birth. of course, that might force her to question some of her other stances towards noxians, who she'd have dismissed as all being the same (because if he is not, others may be different too — and he wasn't even raised as ionian from early infancy, so when does one draw the line? when do they become irredeemable?). it's something else to consider whether or not she'd want to make that distinction for other cases. personally i think she'd be content to just make him an exception (because that's easy, and comfortable, and she would have seen him as ionian well before she saw him as noxian; it's easier to ignore the other implications), rather than truly let that change her outlook on things more broadly.

i think the moment she learned about it, it'd be a shock (because, like i said, her view of noxians is really black and white; they're evil, they're monstrous, they deserve to die). immediately, there's no way it wouldn't have an impact because i don't think irelia would know how to feel about it (but the extent of that impact depends on how much she cares about him, too; like with cyn's kayn, where there is a relationship, then she obviously cares more, and in turn it is more of a shock to learn that he was born noxian than in a situation like canon, where they haven't really interacted). still, i don't think the confusion would manifest as aggression or rejection, and that it'd be pretty short-lived (both in the sense of an immediate reaction and in any lingering, posterior doubt). kayn may have been born noxian, and he may have spent the first years of his life a noxian, but he has long since left that behind. zed took him in and kayn embraced his new life, a life he leads as an ionian. if she accepted him as that before, knowing he was born noxian wouldn't change she accepts him as that still. knowing he was born in noxus doesn't change what he is or what he does now.

[noxianboxer-archived-blog]

// 🌠

Something I definitely would love to plot out with someone is when Canus comes to the point in his life where he needs to choose whether he remains loyal to the new Noxus he's helped built with Riven as the new Grand General and let go of his desire for revenge or leave it all behind and the bonds he's made to pursue greater strength and try to bring down the kingdom he blames for taking away his home and his family.

[frostbiteandblacksnow]

Tal and None?

He said “pick one” so I picked one through five [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] | @definitely-not-altair​

One!

Who asks the other on dates: Neither. They both travel, if they meet up, it’s a date.

Who is the bigger cuddler: Talon.

Who initiates holding hands more often: None

Who remembers anniversaries: None

Who is more possessive: Talon

Who gets more jealous: Neither.

Who is more protective: None

Who is more likely to cheat: None

Who initiates sexy times the most: Talon

Who dislikes PDA the most: Talon?

Who kills the spider: Both! (None will move it somewhere else)

Who asks the the other to marry them: Neither. It’s not in the cards and they know it.

Who buys the other flowers or gifts: None

Who would bring up possibly having kids: Neither. One of them is going to die first. Even adoption is out for that reason.

Who is more nervous to meet the parents: None is a little concerned about Marcus, but None doesn’t have any parents for Talon to meet.

Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry: They sleep against a wall usually so ‘a different wall’. 

Who tries to make up first after arguments: None

Who tells the other they love them more often: About equal, but each of them has days where they say it a lot more than normal. Probably Talon.

Two!

who is more likely to hurt the other? None

who is emotionally stronger? None

who is physically stronger? Talon

who is more likely to break a bone? Talon

who knows best what to say to upset the other? Both…

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? None 

who treats who’s wounds more often? None

who is in constant need of comfort? None

who gets more jealous? Neither.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? …None. Not by choice.

who will propose? 

who has the most difficult parents? Talon.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? Both!

who comes up for the other all the time? None technically

who hogs the blankets? They sleep against a wall, but Talon.

who gets more sad? None

who is better at cheering the other up? None

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? Talon!

who is more streetwise? Valoran/Noxus? Talon. Otherwise? None.

who is more wise? None

who’s the shyest? None

who boasts about the other more? Do they boast?

who sits on who’s lap? They take turns!

Three!

Who’s the first to wake up in the morning: None

Who’s the one to make breakfast: None

Who’s the one to serve the other breakfast in bed: None

Who would suggest a quickie in the morning before work: Talon

Who suggests they both ditch work to lay around all day: Talon

Who chooses the movies: Talon

Who initiates kissing during the moving, thus distracting the other from the movie all together: Talon

Who orders lunch: None

Who steals food from the other’s plate without asking: Talon

Who curls up next to the other and falls asleep due to a full tummy: Talon

Who distracts the other from trying to work at home: Neither.

Who asks to go get ice cream like a five year old: None

Who takes pictures of their partner eating ice cream: None

Who makes a sexual joke about the dripping ice cream on their partner’s face: Talon…! 

Who cooks dinner: None

Who cleans up the kitchen afterwards: None

Who stays up until 2 reading: None (sometimes to Talon!)

Who stares at their partner while their sleeping: None

Who kisses their partner while they sleep: None

Four!

Who starts most fights? Startlingly rare, but None

Who surrenders at the end of most fights? None

Who is more likely to cry during a fight? None

Who is more likely to storm out during a fight? Neither. They don’t do that.

Who is louder in fights? Talon unless Space Monster.

Who is more likely to throw things in fights? Neither. They don’t do that.

Who is more likely to bring up past mistakes? Neither. They don’t do that.

Who is more likely to give the silent treatment? None

Who is more likely to blame the other? Probably Talon

Who is more likely to blame themselves? Probably None

Who gets jealous more easily? Neither. They cool.

Who is angered more easily? Talon

Who is more likely to break off the relationship? Talon

Who is more likely to threaten to leave? Talon

Who is more likely to actually leave? Talon

Who is more likely to forget the other first? Temporary? None. Permanently? Talon. The timelines don’t forget.

Five!

who is more excited for halloween? None

who gives the best gifts? Talon

who sings along to the radio the loudest? None

who actually finishes a book they’ve started? None

who falls asleep during a movie? Talon

who plans a surprise getaway vacation? None

who comes home with useless decorative knick knacks for the house every single day? What house?

who takes more pictures? None

who likes baths? who likes showers? None is showers. Talon is long soaks in the bath.

who keeps a weekly planner? Neither. Talon can’t read. None doesn’t know where he’ll be in three hours.

who actually watches the discovery channel? Talon. He likes to see creatures do their thing.

who brings up having kids first? Neither.

who fixes things around the house when they break? They both have things they’re best at ‘fixing’. Generally it’s None.

who leaves their dirty towels on the floor? Gross. Probably Talon.

who makes the coffee in the morning? None, but he doesn’t drink coffee. It’s for Talon.

who gets jealous over very petty things? None, definitely. Doesn’t act on it.

who exercises more? They’re both on the move constantly, so both.

who starts listening to christmas music in october? Fucking Talon. BETTER WATCH OUT BETTER WATCH OUT BETTER WA-

who actually reads the newspaper? None

[deathdxnces]

He had been determined to kill her. The worst thing was, he wasn’t the first. Irelia’s blades now hovered at her shoulders, following the graceful, circling movements of her hands. One simple gesture, and it could all be over. He spat blood on the ground, his eyes burning with hatred. “If you will not lead Navori, the Brotherhood will.” He tried weakly to raise his dagger against her. This man would never be taken alive. “I believed in you,” he said again. “We all did.” She sighed. “I never asked you to. I’m sorry.”

i think a lot about this in irelia's color story. it's like, right at the beginning but i have so many thoughts.

"the worst thing was, he wasn't the first" implying after she left the brotherhood the assassination attempts just. sort of became a repeated occurrence (because if she won't lead they will — and, honestly, there's even deeper lore implication if we consider zed's comic suggests kusho was also commanding the brotherhood from the shadows, and the fact he intended to lead ionia to civil war to take the power; the idea irelia is a very powerful symbol, and if she refuses to play her part as a figurehead she must be eliminated. and then there's the fact she was still really young when she left the brotherhood too, before it was even called that; there's no set point in the timeline when the story takes place, that i know of, but it's suggested it's been some time since the war ended. have they been trying to kill her since she was a teenager?)

and that's without even getting on how simultaneously tired and sad about it the line is — she doesn't want to kill her people, but he's not the first, and he likely won't be the last, and still she takes the time, waits, hopes it won't come to that, though she could've killed him immediately "one simple gesture, and it could all be over"

and then the "i believed in you, we all did" like?? i know i say that like every other day but she was 12 when she first joined the resistance, 14 by the time the battle at the placidium happened, and there was an entire nation following her then, from people she had never seen to people she had followed before. everyone put so much on her shoulders, to be some sort of savior and perfect leader, in a way that honestly no matter what she did after, people would have been disappointed, because she's only human. she wouldn't have been the leader everyone wanted. her refusal to lead earns the ire of others, either way. there is literally no outcome where she wouldn't be punished for not being what other people projected on her.

something she never wanted to be. the "i never asked you to" isn't antagonistic, it's sincere. she never wanted any of that, she didn't want to lead or for people to look up to her, or to be any sort of symbol or to have anyone's faith. she was fighting because it was literally the only thing she had left to do, because she wouldn't just stand aside and let noxus take everything, because she was so angry and hurting about everything she already had lost. but it's the fact even then she still apologizes that gets to me. this man just tried to kill her. he blamed her for a disappointment she really had no way of preventing, because they expected her to be a messianic figure that may have served as inspiration during the war but would never hold up after that, a role she never wanted in the first place, and she still feels responsible. irelia says she never asked for it, and yet acts like that is inconsequential as much as those who resent her; she definitely carries the blame, still, even if it shouldn't be hers (but that is in part because she accepts to carry it; because she feels she failed her people, that she disappointed them, enough to apologize for it even when facing someone intent on taking her life).

the apology is, in part, also because she does kill him after but like. even then. he was trying to kill her because she didn't turn out to be what the brotherhood expected! and she still hopes she won't have to kill him until she really has to, and even after that she says “May the Spirit bring you to peace,” and makes sure he gets a proper burial, something she does herself. the amount of grief and guilt she carries gets to me

[tragedybunny]

The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends - Chapter 6

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected. Katarina/Swain

Winter had followed us back to the Capitol. The temperate climate and our nearness to the sea meant it was always short lived, but for now snow lightly dusted the city, quickly turning grey in the ever rising haze of smoke. I was sitting in the seat of the large window in my room, overlooking the back garden, sketch board in my lap, drawing the city skyline in charcoal.The cold breeze of the open window was worth the unclouded view. Drawing hadn’t been considered an essential part of my education, so it was something I’d learned mostly on my own, and rarely had the opportunity to indulge in. The last couple of weeks had been painfully boring however, and there’s only so many times you can do katas.

I’d commandeered the old armory on the back of house as my personal training spot. This nearly caused a fit with some of the senior servants as I demanded family relics be removed to storage. Moira especially hated the notion, as I was sure she hated me in general. She’d been the most obvious to see me as a stain upon the House from the start. Her expression hiding nothing as her and the other servants were gathered in the great hall to hear the announcement that Madame Katarina would be staying on an indefinite basis. Her protests on the matter of the armory were met with an exasperated hand wave and “Just do as she asks”. 

“Yes, please do as I ask.” I’d smiled in her beet red face. I won that round you old bat, though she’d gone from detached politeness to outright hostility after that. 

I felt an unexpected weight on my shoulder and a shiny stone dropped into my lap. “Kat” her bird voice croaked out. 

“Hello Bea.” I reach up to stroke her chest. He hadn’t been exaggerating, his pet really had taken to me, despite my best efforts to remain cool to her. “Here to bribe me again?” I look down at the bowl of sliced citrons I’d been picking at. I’d acquired them on one of my late night kitchen raids, the imported fruits being expensive enough I’d had to split a bottle of wine with the cook, Cress, to get him to stop mourning their loss. Thankfully drinking was his second love after cooking. “Are you even supposed to eat these?” She nipped my ear lightly. “Fine, but don’t blame me if you’re sick later.” I held up a slice and she greedily pulled it from fingers.

I’d been so occupied with her I hadn’t heard the door behind me open. “I didn’t know you drew.” He was right behind me, looking over my shoulder. 

I almost slam my hands down to cover what I was doing, but stop short not wanting to smudge it. “I don’t, it’s nothing.” I feel my cheeks flushing. Noone’s ever caught me doing this before, so of course the first had to be him. 

“You really shouldn’t denigrate yourself.” He pushes my hands out of the way. “It’s really quite good.” 

I snap out of my paralysis and move it to the side. “Were you here for something?”  At my agitation Beatrice hops into my lap and lets out an indignant caw. 

“No.” She flaps her wings a bit as if the emphasize her point. 

“You little traitor. She’s been feeding you hasn’t she? Don’t worry, I won’t upset her again.” He holds his hand out and after a moment’s hesitation, she hops onto it. He lightly pets her head and speaks softly until she finally decides to perch on my dressing table and preen in the mirror. 

I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up. “Betrayed by your own bird.” 

“Very funny. I’m plotted against in my own house.” He leans down and kisses me softly on my cheek. I stop laughing as the sensation washes over me. 

“Anyway, you wanted something?” 

“You’re lacking in attire suitable for a formal occasion.” A statement of the obvious. I’d left everything like that behind when I left my family’s house, all of it had been mother’s choices anyway. 

I let out a groan, sure this isn’t going anywhere I like. “Yes, and?”

He ignores the groan. “That needs to be remedied, the Solstice celebration is in two weeks, and you’re going to accompany me.”

“Fantastic, a painfully boring religious ceremony. I’m not even religious, why do I have to go?” 

“Neither am I, and I’m expected. You’re going to make sure I don’t die of boredom between that and the party afterward.”

“It keeps getting more appealing. Isn’t this Darius’s job?”

“Hmm, no, I believe it is definitely your responsibility these days.” I detect the slightest bit of a smile. He leans in again, lips brushing my earlobe. I forget to exhale for a second. “Must you be so obstinate about everything? Besides, the last party we attended together was interesting enough.” 

“Maybe I could try to kill you again? That will keep things lively.”

He sighs, clearly done being gentle about it. “Just get ready, we’re leaving shortly.” He’s really going to drag me through this whole affair. 

Then he’s gone, leaving me in a storm of emotions. I’m irritated that he orders instead of asking, but at the same turn I’m thrilled he wants me there with him. On top of it all those same feelings I’d stumbled into up north have never abated; the heart racing whenever he’s near, the yearning for his touch and those moments when he softens with me and is almost affectionate. As much as I’ve tried to reason with myself I can’t deny what my heart insists on longing for. 

I’m not a fool though, we’ve barely seen each other since we returned. I know he’s done that purposefully, likely I gave myself away somehow.  It’s rejection plain and simple, and it stings. And I loathe that I miss him. 

I throw on some clothes appropriate to the cold and head to meet him downstairs, resigning myself to whatever he’s planning. When I reach the bottom of the stairs where he’s waiting he takes my cloak from hands and places it over my shoulders. “Madame.” He kisses my cheek, clearly pleased I’m here without further argument. Charm when he wants something isn’t a new tactic for him, and yet it still gets to me. “Did you just blush?” This time he’s actually smiling. 

“What…no!” I start to march out the door. “Let’s get this over with.” The carriage has been pulled around and I climb in  and wait for him to join me. When I turn back he’s standing in the doorway, having clearly heated words with Moira. What did I do this time to set her off? 

When he finally gets in he takes my hand and kisses it. “I’m sorry for teasing.” He doesn’t let go. 

“It’s fine.” I put on a cool exterior. “I guess I’ll just have to spend exorbitant amounts of your money to make up for it.” 

“You’re a cruel woman.” Surprisingly he wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me a bit closer to him. We ride the rest of the way enveloped in the silence that falls between us.

The carriage eventually rolls to a stop in front of Mistress Hester’s, of course, she’s only the best dressmaker in Noxus. I remember the hours of boredom as I tried to amuse myself in the shop while mother shopped and was fitted. Of course, Mistress Hester doesn’t take walk ins, no matter your position. I’m clearly the victim of a long running plot. 

Some stop and stare as we emerge from the carriage, I can only imagine the gossip this will ignite. I try my best to ignore it. The little bell above the shop door chimes as we enter summoning a severe looking woman from the back. There’s more lines to her face and her black hair has streaks of white in it, but her steely gray eyes are still sharp. 

“Grand General, Madame Katarina, well it has been a long time.” She’s already looking me over, sizing me up, quite literally. 

“As was discussed, I need her to look acceptable to accompany me.” I feel more like one of his possessions than ever, being remade to better fit his needs. 

“Of course, and is there a budget to be adhered to?” Her eyes gleam, no doubt she’s dreaming of the bill. 

He turns to me. “Try to keep it reasonable Kitten.” It’s been weeks since he’s called me that. I’m startled at how pleased I am to hear it again, I forget to be embarrassed we’re in public. He leaves a quick kiss on my cheek. “I’ll be back later.” 

He’s barely out the door before she pounces on me and I’m escorted to her office behind the counter. “Tell me now Madame, what is it that you like? I haven’t seen you in sometime and now I would wager your tastes are different.” Her last statement carries a couple of connotations she doesn’t bother to hide. 

What do I like? Mother always made these decisions. A strange sense of excitement washes over me as I take in swatches of fabric, sketches, and the in progress works around me. It was never the dressing up that bothered me, but the social events that followed. I could never be as elegant or charming as Cassiopeia and I was always reminded of it. Violence was my arena and even there I fell short in my father’s eyes. Those days are gone though, and however I’m tethered now,  their judgements are behind me. 

“Let me show you something.” It’s a sketch, lace, meant to hug curves, and yet exquisitely elegant. “I’m seeing deep scarlet, you’ll be very fetching.” 

How she figured me out so quickly I can’t guess. “I do like that. A thought has occured to me though. I’ll likely need more than one dress in the future. Perhaps I should order a few?” He can hardly argue about it, he did force me into this. 

She smiles. “Of course, whatever you like. You’ll have priority for the first, so it will be ready in time, but we can get started on anything else you desire.” 

Several hours later I’m being littlely chided on the ride home. “Is that what you think of as reasonable.”

“I did try to warn you earlier.” I let my tone get a little smug. Leaning over, I whisper in his ear. “Shall I make it up to you?” I may as well enjoy his attention while I have it. 

“You most definitely will later. I expect you to be most apologetic you expensive little creature.”  

I run my hand along the inside of his thigh. “Only if you promise to forgive me after, Sir.” I purr. 

He looks like he may take me up on my offer right here in the carriage. He kisses me roughly and deeply, leaving me a bit breathless, but finally settles on pulling me tight against him for the remainder of the ride. 

When we return home I’m beckoned upstairs to find Gwen waiting in my room. Young and sharp, she’s always been the first to insinuate herself when she thinks she’ll get on my good side. 

“Where’s Moira?” His irritation is evident. 

Gwen wisely demures and looks at a spot on the floor. “She said she was unwell, Sir.”

“I see, how unfortunate.” It feels petty, but I’m pleased this stunt has incurred his ire. 

“I’m more than capable of doing her duties.” Confidence suddenly replaces the meek act from a moment ago.

“And no doubt you’re very ambitious as well.” He steps closer to her, studying her for a moment. “Do you remember Zaun at all, or is it stories from your parents driving you on?”

To her credit, she doesn’t falter under the intimidating gaze. “Bits and pieces, enough.”

He nods. “Very well, you’re to deal with whatever Madame needs from now on. I’ll inform Moira that comes before any other duties and I’ll see that you’re compested duly.” He turns to me. “Back to the matter at hand.”

He leads me over to my dressing table where boxes of jewels lay open, glinting in the late afternoon sun. ‘Fuck.” I mutter, not as quietly as I intended. 

“Wear whatever you like. They’re yours to use as long as you’re here.”

“No, absolutely not, that’s too much.” I cross my arms, intending to stand my ground on this. “People already talk enough about me, I can’t start going out in the Swain family jewels.”

He grips my chin and tilts my head up to look him in the eyes. “Then they can talk, and you’ll do whatever pleases me.” Again it’s that sudden switch of tone, there will be no further discussion.  “Understood?”

“If you insist.” I’ll be damned if I understand why he considers this so important.

“Good girl. I’ll see you at dinner.” He lets go and leaves me with Gwen, who had been making herself as unobtrusive as possible in a corner. 

I turn my attention to the ridiculous wealth left on display. No wonder Moira gave herself a fit over it. Stones of every shape, size, and color; necklaces, rings, heavy broaches; the result of a lineage of wealth and titles. “I can’t believe he did this.”

“I suppose he has his reasons. That’s one of the first things I learned working here, nothing is without a reason.” Gwen was now right beside me, taking everything in with me.  “It is spectacular though.” She reaches for a previously unopened box. “Want to see the most amazing bit?” 

It opens to reveal a tiara wrought in gold and set with black diamonds. My eyes go wide. “Damn.” I get a little gleeful at the thought of wearing it, despite having a dim memory of seeing his mother in it years ago. I sit down at the dressing table. “Pin it on me, Let’s see if you’re up to your new role. “

“Of course Madame.” She goes to work, pinning my hair up, and fixing the tiara in place. It’s rough but it gives a good general impression. 

Gwen’s work aside, I find I hate it. I look the part of being his mistress, like I am what everyone says about me, the family traitor who chose the wealth and power of the Grand General. “Do you not like it?” 

“No it’s fine. I’m just not used to seeing myself like this.” She nods but it’s clear she doesn’t buy it.

She seems to consider her next words carefully. “If I may Madame, you may want to make peace with that, all of Noxus will be seeing you like this.” Of course they will. No doubt that plays into whatever his goal is with this whole charade. 

           That night after dinner he asks me to join him in the study. “There’s a matter we need to discuss.” He makes sure the door is firmly shut behind us and the servants dismissed. 

After everything else I’m not exactly sure what to expect. “This should be less fun than the rest of the day.” 

“I thought you’d prefer this since you acted like you were headed to your own execution earlier.” He smirks and takes a seat at the X’ah board. “Play while we talk.”

I don’t hide that I roll my eyes. I hate the Vastayan strategy game, mostly because he always wins. This time though I may have a strategy. My eyes travel to the whiskey decanter on the sideboard. He may be able to outplay me, but I can out drink him. I pour two glasses and sit across from him. 

“You’re too kind.” He takes the glass from my hand. “You go first.”

I move, an aggressive opening, it’s what he’ll expect. “What did you want to discuss?’

He makes a soft opening, like one would against a child learning to play. I can’t decide if it’s a serious assessment of my skill or he’s making a joke. “Your father’s Guild, they’re floundering under their current leadership, since his disappearance.” 

“Hmm, and?” I answer his move and tip back my glass, finishing it, daring him to follow suit. 

“They need leadership, and that’s where you come in. You’re going to take over, be the leader they need, and dismantle all the other Guilds.” I don’t watch his move, I’m too busy glaring at him. I refill the glass after he finally finishes it. 

I take my move. “Have you lost your mind? I’m no leader. And I’m certain no one is going to stand aside and just let me take over.” 

“Then you’ll dispose of them.” If only his sense of confidence was contagious.

“You realize that is potentially a very large number of people?” 

“My Dear, I don’t care if you have to kill nearly every other assassin in Noxus. The Guild will answer to you, and you’ll answer to me.” 

We play in silence for a few moments, I refill our drinks. After sometime a hole appears in his strategy. I smile to myself, at least one thing is working out in my favor. “Really though, I can’t do this. I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

He looks up and appraises me for a moment. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you were capable of it.” I sigh and put glass number four on the table in front of us. “It’s not your aptitude that lacks, it’s your confidence.” 

Hearing those words stirs something in my memories and I’m taken back across the years. A dark haired, dark eyed, very important friend of my father’s is speaking to me, offering me advice in the face of my father’s anger. “You said something very similar to me once, a very long time ago.” The whiskey must be getting to me. I don’t even know why I bring it up.

“Really?” He thinks for a moment. “Oh yes, you fell out of a tree on me. You were spying on your father and I.” 

“He scolded me for the spying and my lack of stealth. I fell because I was nervous, that was your advice.”

“I’m surprised you remember that.” 

“It must have left an impression.” Everything feels so unbearably warm all of a sudden. “Maybe that’s why…” No, my tongue if definitely getting too loose. “Why am I even talking about that? It was so long ago.” 

I look up and he’s staring at me, in a way I’ve never seen before. “Kat…”

“Anyway I win.” He looks down at the board then back up to me as I smile triumphantly. 

“You cheated.” 

“No, you’re just drunk.”

He tries to stand and wobbles a bit before sitting back down and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, I am drunk. That’s still cheating.”

“It’s not technically against the rules.” 

“You wicked, deceitful woman. Very well, you win.” He gives in and actually laughs a bit. 

Just like that, the soft mood from that night in the north returns. I get up to clear the glasses and he pulls down into his lap and nuzzles my neck a bit. “You know first you excessively spend my money and now you win through trickery. What I am I going to do with you Kitten?” 

“Maybe you should put me over your knee and spank me?” I hear him inhale heavily. I knew that would get to him. 

“When I sober up I may hold you to that. For now I’ll settle for your help upstairs.” Really at this point, both of us are a bit unbalanced, and I find myself giggling as we navigate the staircase. Finally as we stand in front of his door he leans down and pulls me into a kiss that’s surprisingly soft “Come to bed.”

Everything around me spins a bit and I can feel every beat of my pulse. I know it isn’t just the whiskey. I’m enthralled by him again. “Of course.” I let him take my hand and lead me to his room, the thudding of my heart now all too familiar.