#now watching MADtv

[amongfeathers]

supermodel...

“…and my greatest fear was that if I lost control, or did not have control, things would just, you know, be fatal…”

CANON-DIV QUACKITY BLOG! 🌟 part of ctrlverse -> cl!quackity or ct!quackity. run by pity, he/she, 18.

ctrlverse (stylized as CTRLverse, CTRLverse, or ctrlverse) is a roleplay verse based heavily off DSMP. it focuses on the untold stories of some of the characters as private bloggings about the events they experienced. it is not strict to the DSMP canon, and does not follow that timeline to the letter. anything goes in ctrlverse. almost anything, at least.

this blog is the equivalent of the vice president's private social media. open to manburgian citizens, people he follows, and denizens skilled at hacking.

please send in asks and anons! every interaction is appreciated!

art is by the beloved tham n0phis

mask from here

notes on CT!Quackity, a.k.a (big) Q: CURRENT ARC: Manberg, well into the first year of Schlatt's rule. TAGS: under the cut.

he is AFAB transmasc, and currently only uses he/they pronouns. he has (undiagnosed and untreated) BPD. he is on the autism spectrum. Q also has GAD, which can cause anything from severe self doubt to a full-on shutdown. as Schlatt's vice, Quackity reserves the sole right to effect the decisions of Manberg's self-declared emperor, but more often than not finds himself doing paperwork instead, ad nauseam. married originally for tax benefits and public appearance, he takes relationships very seriously, and sometimes chases after the wrong ones. when he's not being eaten alive by work he participates in small games with the citizens– he's an avid gamer, and gambler, a bit of a cheat at cards. loves any chance for distraction. Q is a phoenix hybrid, who has only died once before. instead of being reborn when he does, he simply respawns– depending on the esempi territory, his lives are reset. he is currently down one from four (three respawns left). he often binds his wings at the same time that he binds his chest, and as such has mostly forgotten how to fly.

some posts will be partially or entirely in spanish. mun speaks spanish, but not fluently. please excuse and/or correct any faults. translations will be provided!

“and if it's an illusion, i don't wanna wake up. i'm gonna hang onto it.”

in character tags are below the cut.

OUT OF CHARACTER TAGS 🌱 gen tag - #ctrlverse srs roleplay - #controlverse nsfw content - #tread carefully

other triggering content - #tw (trigger) nsrs roleplay - #featuring: OOC / non-char posts- #ctrlcamping end of roleplay - #20 something

🌱 IN CHARACTER TAGS #promise to be better - my journaling. nothing really important, I just need a place to get it out. #now watching MADtv - for my actually funny posts. #warm enough inside? - gay.. shit. gay stuff. yearning. 😑 #know i'm alive - reposts! silly, um, images I want you to see. yeah. #where are the askers? - this is for asks, suggestions, and submissions, so the joke doesn't really... go. you get the idea. *please* don't ask me to lower the taxes, I can't.

PLAYER TAGS 🌱 #flock together - ( nihachu ) #big tail bigger man - ( tommy ) #fresh as a daisy - ( aimsey ) #black sheep - ( minx ) #goopin & gunkin? - ( slime ) #composer-in-residence - ( wilbur ) #buzzing in your ears - ( tubbo ) #empty - no blog yet. #empty - no blog yet. #empty - no blog yet. #empty - no blog yet.

[pamithebunterfly2007]

Two New Hyperfixations unlocked?!

So I kinda got addicted already to Spy Vs Spy and I hate Fairyland, Im watching the comic dub on YT and now I feel like Gertrude is becomeing my favorite IHF character rn and You ever heard of MadTV and read Mad Magazine? I thinks these two funny little bastards Black and White Spy, I swear to god these two always plotting something one another!

@art1c-m0nk3ys

@emo-gals-4life

@lizzietherwbychibifan

@galacticsomewhat

@nicky-toony27

@zizzythehedgehog

@zikusukierz

@expandismgold

@sakiohappynoi

@sketchymenace

[powderblueblood]

I am yet to finish season three, just five more episodes to go but please tell me your thoughts on the season. I feel so bad for my girl claire bear. she's the sweetest

okay but do you promise me to save this until after you’re done the season okay I’m taking it that you’re promising me wonderful okay

I am having such an on the One Hand but then on the Other Reaction to the third season

admittedly I did possibly the worst thing you could do for this season of the bear in particular and binged it (badum tssss) and didn’t let it digest properly (BADUM TSSSSS because. Food) when I think I should have paced myself out to maybe watch a couple episodes a week. Now That Said, we live in a hell era where the binging model is king so what are u gonna do

Now That Said, That Said I truly do believe this season was crafted as an exercise in testing patience, it’s challenging you to engage especially from the first episode and subsequent bottle episodes that are a lot of long scenes of dialogue/almost silent montages/single set pieces. I think it’s presented as a mirror to the sluggishness that everyone working at the bear is experiencing as a direct result of Carmy being the worst boss of all time ever

That Said That Said That Said, as much as I love a longggggg dialogue filled scene (the Cassavetes/Altman/mumblecore effect) I found a lot of the dialogue to be… erring on the side of corny I would say? Toeing into “uuuh so THAT just happened” territory, where the fuck yous weren’t sewn in with the same fluidity as the earlier seasons. It sounded a little bit like a MadTV sketch of the bear at times. I don’t think there was intention in that, I think they just lost the run of who these characters were really set up to be from season two at times, save for Carmy

Why are they blue balling us the way they’re writing Claire bear???? There are shimmers of great characterisation then the next scene she’s reduced giving to Dead Wife In Flashback Energy. Molly Gordon deserves better aka to fuck Sydney and I wholeheartedly believe that

There was also absolutely no reason for that many Faks. That stunt casting felt try hard. They had their one great stunt casting streak in season two and they should have left it there. Too many Faks ruin the whatever the fuck it is they’re making in that fuckass kitchen

I also adore and fully support the widely shared take of “if my favourite sandwich shop turned into a hundred-buck-a-plate gourmet joint because some white man with an inferiority complex and undiagnosed mental illness moved back home, I’d throw a brick through the window” because guess what Richie had a point about pushing out the working man, especially with the cost of living skyrocketing

Carmen berzatto poster boy for gentrification? MAYBE!!!!!!

How many of Cicero’s ulcers do you think he’s responsible for

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

goodness golly gracious i haven't been here in a hot minute -🍒 anon!! :)

i HEAVILY apologise for showing up, saying i got hit by a forklift, then vanishing off the face of gods green earth 😭😭 that wasn't my intention AT ALL (i'm 100% better now btw :) )

i only realized just how long it had been since i've been here when i thought of something funny and was like "hey, team mom would think that's hilarious" ... "TEAM MOM--" 💀💀

your posts are still as hilarious as ever though, i'm glad that hasn't changed since i've left!! :D

n e ways, just wanted to come here and say this:

you know whenever you're around younger kids and they're just like "watch this" and then they just, like, jump and spin in a circle and then look at you for praise and validation? 100% Goshiki with miss manager LMAOO

nice being here again!!

-🍒 anon!! :)

🍒 anon 😱😱 HIIIIII

Honestly I totes understand ghosting after a huge announcement 😅 I may or may not have done it several times to people so it’s ok!! I am very glad you are better btw!

You spoke to be when you said “whenever you’re around younger kids…” because as a parent unit of a child and pre-teen, I am very much use to the “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO” Stewart from MadTV vibes. (If you don’t know who Stewart is, please YouTube it!)

Goshiki, Hinata, Kogane, Terushima, freaking OIKAWA all give those vibes

“Look what I can do!” - Then : D

Manager 👉🏻 wow so cool 😐

Them 👉🏻😌💅

Toddlers all of them 🙄

[lilithsaintcrow]

Buckle up, kittens, it’s time for another Said At Dinner episode!

ON ZELDA

“Link was asleep in a cold puddle for a century. That’s a major case of swamp-ass.”

“If I had to choose, I’d leave my children in a creepy forest too.”

“…was it rehydrated Ganondorf? It’s always rehydrated Ganondorf.”

ON THE MUMMY

“Rick and Evie living next to Imhotep and Anck-su-namun in suburbia. Anck-su-namun is taking over the PTA.”

“Evie’s the only one who can keep Anck-su-namun from straight-up shanking a soccer mom.”

“Rick and Imhotep had a fistfight during the last grill-a-thon and fell into the pool. Now they’re best friends.”

“Look, if I had Rick O’Connell rubbing my feet, I wouldn’t leave the house.”

ON EASTER

“How can we make that church do a Terminator theme for their next Easter play? Send an earnest postcard?”

ON ROMEO AND JULIET

“Actually, Paris wasn’t a bad suitor. He gave Juliet some agency! I mean, not much, but considering…”

(About Rosalind) “Look, if my chastity had a bodycount, I’d be proud too.”

“Dad wants to marry her off at thirteen, Mom hates her, Nurse can’t keep her mouth shut, Tybalt’s no help, Paris is…well, Paris. Juliet’s amazingly well adjusted, considering.”

BACK TO EASTER

“Nah, they won’t do a Blade Easter play. But it doesn’t stop me from hoping.”

“If they DID do a Terminator Easter play, who would be Jesus?” (For context, the MadTV skit)

ON WIZARD OF OZ

“Okay, Glinda was just waiting for something to happen so she could get her hands on the shoes. Why didn’t she just straight-up murder Dorothy?”

“So your theory is that Glinda was pulling a Dumbledore? Get the Wicked Witch to kill Dorothy, then arrive before anyone else and rifle the corpse?”

“THOSE ARE OZMA’S FUCKING SHOES, THOUGH.”

“I’m not high enough to watch RETURN TO OZ again. Quite possibly I will never be.”

FINALE

And last, though certainly not least, the Said At Dinner Dad Joke of the Night.

“Why don’t melons marry?”

“Because they cantaloupe!”

Thank you, you’re wonderful, tip your waitress, do NOT try the veal, that shit’s disgusting, thank you, goodnight.

[gothidecorem]

I apparently watched this scene a few too many times because this part is now an inside joke between my 5 year old and I… (as well as the chocolate milk bloo/cheese dialogue from Fosters Home For Imaginary Friends, gimme some fin from Finding Nemo, and “where’s your boyfriend at” from the MadTv sketch 😂)

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

[ayearwithoutwater]

Sixteen.

Within the past month, Kelly Clarkson released her takes on two seminal songs: "Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell Roan and "My Heart Will Go On" by Céline Dion. The songs themselves are special to me for different reasons, but those reasons are irrelevant to the matter at hand; the takeaway here is that Kelly's virtuosic ability to sing anything, over two decades after her very public ascension, has not only persevered—it has actually improved. Watching these now, I am for but a moment as captivated by her as I used to be all those years ago, but it's only momentary nostalgia, fleeting.

I remember, throughout my teenage years, passionately refreshing her Diva Devotee vocal profile (three octaves and two notes seems like a lowball estimate) and attempting to indoctrinate strangers about her being our generation's Whitney Houston-Mariah Carey hybrid, as evidenced by her chameleonic vocal prowess across genres (see: her ever-evolving list of songs covered, on both television and tour) and songwriting skills.

I'd lied earlier, you see, by omitting any allusions to her when describing my favorite musicians in Six. I was, for a decade, a diehard Kelly Clarkson fan, and she was my patron saint of choice during my formative years of angst. That cardboard standee of her that I mentioned in Fifteen? I actually own two. One of them accompanied me from work on the subway, first to a college party photo booth where all my friends insisted on taking pictures with our celebrity guest, then to my Lower East Side apartment where she frequently scared me at night by lurking in the corner shadows, and finally to my father's home in Los Angeles, where they both continue to stand today. Hers was the first show I ever attended at the historic Radio City Music Hall, and the second concert in my entire life overall. The command she holds over gay men is such that she was the bridge between me and the then-boyfriend of a man I'd once loved, who loathed me for whatever affair he feared me having with his partner and who, despite that, still managed to eke out a joke about expecting a child with me—her then-forthcoming Christmas album, Wrapped In Red—because he, too, was a Kelly fanatic. It was her music that played in the background during my first intercourse: "When I'm with you, I'm alone," unintentionally or otherwise, was the refrain in my head as I made my sexual debut (I owe my first boyfriend deep gratitude for his everlasting patience with me).

I'm not "Alone" in my love for her, I know—Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers, of Las Culturistas, love her too (and, just like them, I also preferred MADtv over Saturday Night Live)—but I think there's a special grip she has on my demographic in particular. I have never met a gay Asian man who has never, at one point or another, loved Kelly Clarkson. For example: Jun, my third boyfriend, literally had junloveskellyclarkson@gmail.com as his email address, and Henry, my fourth, only ever listened to three singers, of which she was the predominant one.

I don't want to make outlandish claims, but I think there's something worth identifying about her ubiquity among us.

As the inaugural American Idol, Kelly's victory was delivered by almost nine million votes manually cast in a pre-digital world; it was as democratic as an over-produced reality television show could be. At that point in time, Pew Research Center estimates that Asian Americans numbered approximately twelve million in the United States, just under 4% of its total population. (Currently, we number approximately twenty-two million, or nearly 7% of the overall figure.) The Williams Institute at UCLA's School of Law estimated in 2021 that just 3.8% of Asian American adults identify as LGBT. Demographic surveys of earlier American Idol seasons don't exist, but extrapolating these numbers (and somewhat erroneously assuming an even distribution) gives us a working assumption that maybe 360,000 of the votes were cast by Asian Americans, of which possibly 13,680 were sent in by our LGBT kith and kin.

Using more recent statistics as merely illustrative tools, almost 60% of all Asian Americans were born outside the United States, compared to 14% of Americans overall, and we can break this down further by generation. Despite Millennials, Gen Z, and post-Gen Z totaling 57% of all Asian Americans, almost 83% of all U.S.-born Asian Americans are in our age group. 95% of U.S.-born Asian Americans are at minimum proficient in English, compared to just 57% of non-U.S.-born Asian Americans. What's evident, then, is that the vast majority of us here grew up in households where either our parents or grandparents were our immigrant forebears.

Although data disaggregation of Asian Americans by origin subgroups is paramount, and despite Asian Americans being 3% lower than Americans overall (10% versus 13%) to be living in poverty, we know that twelve of the nineteen subgroups have poverty rates at least as high or surpassing the American average. This, coupled with our language proficiency and immigration household statistics, paints a clear picture of trends borne out through personal, anecdotal experience: the Asian American circumstance is one of much travail. It is for this reason perhaps altogether unsurprising that so many of us had instilled within us the mantras of keeping our heads down and working hard, and therefore that we might relate so viscerally to the original American Idol.

Kelly's rise throughout the competition, week by week, was all but certain. She displayed great technical prowess and a down-to-earth attitude, but that was par for the course for a contest of singers. I don't think it's quite accurate to say that she faded into the background for much of the season, but she wasn't a controversial figure. Yet, she established herself as reliably consistent and endeared herself to us during the show and afterwards without ever pretending to be anyone other than herself. It's easy to see why Asian Americans, given the contexts of both her background and ours, would be drawn to her. Particularly to those who wish for a quiet assimilation, her success was an aspirational rags-to-riches story for the ages.

It's Breakaway, however, that I think turned us all into superfans. Just as I was awed by the raw angst permeating the album, so do I assume was everyone else. Anger unfiltered—except, as a cynic would point out, through the machinations of the pop music industry—has a specific appeal to Asian Americans, and even more so to those of us who were concurrently going through puberty. Insofar as anger is a rational response to injustice, it is an accumulated rejoinder that many of us grew up being expected to bite back or bottle within, be it an aggregate result of the overtly xenophobic racism, the microaggressions, or even the so-called lunchbox trauma to which we're commonly subjected. Calling it empowering is too facile; her music, rock-adjacent with pop sensibilities, was anger made accessible, palatable, a pressure valve for emotional release. To those of us who came of age during the era of the music video, the apartment she personally desecrated for the "Since U Been Gone" video was a visual catharsis, a scream expelled yet contained.

I want to consciously acknowledge, for a brief moment, our storied collective activist history, often exemplified by the likes of Yuri Kochiyama and the Third World Liberation Front, the best of us who understood all too well the importance of our proactive participation in anti-racism organized efforts. Indeed, "Asian American" as a term itself owes its emergence to a focused determination by our predecessors to establish a distinct political identity in the pursuits of agency and solidarity. Ergo, the stereotype of Asian Americans being a meek model minority is just that—a(n historically inaccurate) stereotype—and indentured silence is a trope that we can, and should, reject.

Similarly, those of us who are aware of our queer ancestors know the urgency of being loud and proud. "LGBT" emerged, like "Asian American," out of political necessity: public identities and coalitions were forged for the purpose of civil rights advocacy. As inheritors of double political identities, then, it's incumbent upon us LGBT Asian Americans to recognize and dismantle the structural barriers to social equity.

When my (ex-)boyfriends expressed to me their love for Kelly Clarkson, I admit that I felt seen. Although I had finally begun to diversify my own listening habits by the time these relationships took root, Jun's email address and Henry's obsession were indicative of commonalities shared between us, and I had hope that this would portend good tidings. But, while Jun knew more or less all the lore of Kelly Clarkson world that I did (unreleased and leaked songs, significant performances, etc.), Henry was ignorant. Henry's love for Kelly was shallow. He cared only that she was the first (and best) American Idol winner, that she had a couple of hit records, and that she now hosted a television show that he wanted to attend. Henry turned out to be the worst breakup I'd ever have.

My relationship with Kelly was a casualty of my relationships with these men, poisoned over time by my disdain for them resultant of our very bad breakups. I loved her, but I could no longer listen to her because her music reminded me too much of them (mostly Henry, less so Jun). It reminded me of all the effort and time I'd sunk into my failed relationships, and I felt as embittered as she sounded throughout the entirety of My December, but I couldn't even listen to her to commiserate and achieve the catharsis she'd previously provided me; instead, listening to her only made me feel worse.

When Henry and I were beginning to separate, I tried very hard to save our relationship. I'd rationalized to myself that all the effort would be worth it because he was the one I thought I was supposed to marry, because that's how seriously I took our relationship. I sent him a Google Drive folder filled with her deep cuts and unreleased music, some sourced from the materials I'd gained through my former job at her then-record label, and within that folder I buried a Cameo that I'd commissioned from drag star Pangina Heals, who I'd asked to tell Henry on my behalf that I was sorry, that I was wrong, and that I loved him. His reply was: "You don't have to but thank you." I don't know if he ever even saw Pangina's message. I doubt it would have made a difference.

A year after we broke up, Hinge served me Henry's new profile, complete with a picture of him with his Idol at an album release event for Kelly's newest record, chemistry. My first reaction was revulsion at the world forcing me to look at the man who'd broken my heart; my second was to nod and mentally congratulate him on finally meeting Kelly Clarkson in person; my third was to report his dating profile for being an impersonation and catfish, as I'd done to his prior accounts whenever they were forced upon me by unforgiving algorithms that correctly predicted the chemistry between us, because I'm petty when scorned and I wanted to curse him into a life of forever loneliness after what he had done to me—I would have him know, intimately, that his life would suck without me.

Upon chemistry's release, I did give it a precursory listen. She still sounded familiar to me, her voice an old friend to my ears. It's a post-divorce album, and I knew that it would come with all the expected trappings, and it did. It has songs about puppy love, about honeymooning and that initial period where everything's a sugar rush because you're just so excited by the newness of that person and their potential. It has songs about falling in love, about the depths to which two souls would dive, together, as they seek to build a life together. It also has songs about anger, about feeling betrayed and used and forsaken by the person you should have been able to trust most above all.

I had to stop.

Not only did I relate to the content of the music, I couldn't shake a nagging feeling that Henry too was listening to the album and relating to it, except that I was the villain onto whom he projected (wrongfully) all the negativity of her new musical angst. It was Henry in my head as I listened to "favorite kind of high" and "me" and all the songs about the times both good and bad. So, I had to turn it off. I muted her on Spotify, I turned my back on my childhood favorite, and I stopped myself from listening to her because it just hurt too much. Jun had loved her too, maybe even more than I did, but it's Henry who affected my relationship with Kelly the most. I was a human being experiencing desire, and he was the willing recipient of all my desire until he wasn't, until he no longer wanted to be. I wanted depth, even if I thought he was shallow, but still I was upset at having lost him because I loved him despite or inclusive of his shortcomings. I had loved him anyway, and still that couldn't save us.

Since then, I've prevented myself from giving too much to relationships that do not feel reciprocal. I've told myself that I wouldn't let anyone hurt me so deeply ever again, and, as I said those words, I felt once more the emotions that I think are at the heart of Kelly's music. That hurt, that fear, that anger, that sadness—all of that is why my demographic loves her. We desire, we want to be desired, but it feels like it seldom works out.

Kelly Clarkson is the artist who was most important to me as I came of age. My relationship with her was tainted by successive ex-boyfriends, but I've recently been thinking that my history with her should take precedence over theirs; after all, I'm the protagonist of my own narrative. That relationship is mine, and I've been thinking that I should endeavor to heal my inner child, the kid who adored "Behind These Hazel Eyes" as he imagined the end of relationships not yet had to fill the song's storyboards. But, I should be forthright and admit to myself an unspoken truth, that it's also about my relationship with Henry, and that attempting to reclaim my relationship with the music that defined my teenage years would also be an attempt at moving on.

So, I've unmuted her on Spotify. I've been trying to give her a listen with a fresh perspective, but I also must admit that my tastes have changed. As well, I don't feel that her artistry has progressed to where I'd like it to be, and other artists now hit home where she once did, reliably so. I loved her and I love what she's done for me, but I'm also going to allow myself to relinquish her music because it no longer serves me. I'm letting myself walk away from Kelly Clarkson, and by doing so I'm finally walking away from Henry, too.

Miss Independent, eat your heart out.

[se7endeucemafia]

Energy of the human mind is a wiley fucking bitch…. I have some views of some very fucking basics that I feel can't be denied because of simple goddamned existence. People have highs and people have lows, different people maintain on different levels. If you follow the normal standards of life and do your shit the way you do, and always are on a slope and in a rut, maybe the shrinks have a fucking point about some meds to help the process. This is how it was for me when I tried to follow the fucking rules people said to follow. I worked for my cash, paid my way for education, didn't apply for welfare, even worked two jobs and full-time several times… I was trying the Christian shit out at the time, and was going to church and studies three times a week, lived with Christians, didn't smoke or drink, and followed the entertainment rules with discretionary practices, I even put effort into personal prayer and study, and contemplated life and shit, but I was depressed as fuck. I cried for help with false suicide attempts four different times, wound up at the hospital, and lived in fear of separating from the cocksuckers because of eternal salvation and “fellowship” rules of faith. I was unable to admit the shit that what I was doing was just not the right way, and was in a very severe goddamned rut. The psychotic episode came and I was asked to leave. All the effort of attendance denied and they were all the narcissistic bastard sycophantic fucks who all their former compliments and invitations of me to hang out with them were false ploys as some type of charitable feel bad circumstance for a homeless person.

I veiled my depression and sadness with an empty smile and typical what's up and how's it going standard statements without any feeling in them at all, there was no connection of friendship to top off the empty and false promises of having faith in salvation and going to church and socializing and “befriending” the parasites up until the event of my termination of attendance.

I was maintaining on very minimal poverty levels, trying to focus on normalcy, watching basic tv channels and catching news, ufc, adult swim, comedy central, madtv, just the standard that I could deal with as normal. But I never felt it and felt psycho as fuck. I'm still recuperating about this. This was before iPhones hit; when tracphone was still a thing. This was before social media to have connections otherwise. Before android and netbooks, before google got big and before Amazon hit. Back when DVDs were the newest phenomenon and Xbox just came out. Windows was still at ME and 2000, and myspace was still active, and during the time they updated the standard TV antenna.

Needless to say I wasn't in a good spot. I was fucked. I really had some psychotic attachment dysfunctions about this view of eternal life, the way Christians always said it fucking was. John 3:16 was the trend, god so loved the world he gave his only son, etc… you're supposed to repent get baptized and witness the word, fucking represent. But I had been terminated from affiliation, and people could care less if I burned in hell, and didn't see me as an impact in functional ministry, and could see I was going psychotic and a third fucking wheel at every social event.. Severely fucking betrayed by the cocksucker posers. After being away for the last twelve years from the Christian parasites, I'm hella more stable now to even be able to reveal these interpersonal focuses with this level of confidence that I was very introverted and timid about before, and not so nearly positive in introspection.

But back to the fucking point, mental and emotional chemistry has its place. They're never magic pills that solve all the problems, they're an aid to the process. I've focused on nutritional stabilization and brain chemistry, and have focused on this faith crisis of mine about how to even believe anything what I truly fucking believe. It's a collaboration of events that have transpired to this point. And if I can fucking help it, I want to help someone who might be at the worst, in similar conditions wondering why the fuck these stories of changes for other people work, and why they burn in hell, and are left in the dust. A sad story of earth is that the universe really doesn't gift a fuck and good people get fucked over when they don't deserve it. It's just life.

[barrymccaulkinem]

♪you are now watching madtv♪ (MAD)

[sigynpenniman]

The reason I have such strong feelings about this is that I was raised southern Pentecostal. There is an incredibly strong thing in that particular flavor of Christianity, which is basically Puritanism by any other name, of the idea that you should only consume things that are “pure” and that consuming anything “impure” isn’t just bad, it makes YOU bad. I had an OCD breakdown (that I didn’t know was an OCD breakdown) at the age of 14 because I had gotten into watching a bunch of adult comedy (SNL, MadTV, Whose Line, WKUK) skits on YouTube and I genuinely believed that because I had been watching comedy skits that included curse words and jokes about sex, I was now “dirty” and would go to hell. I then had another similar breakdown six months later because I had been playing video games that referenced magic and used the word “evil” in the name of an item and again I believed I had contact with witchcraft and I was dirty and was going to hell. It took me a long time to get rid of those feelings and when I did I basically promised myself I would never again entertain a single thing that asked me to ascribe such meaning to small actions and what media I consumed. I know firsthand what that does to a person. And it fills with me rage and deep concern when I see how much it’s spread among people who should for all intents and purposes be ideologically free of such thinking.

someday we’ll have a conversation about how “it’s okay to like it just think critically about it” is fair in original meaning but on the internet almost always actually means “instead of openly being cruel to you for liking it I will judge you silently until you perform sufficient shame for liking it to content me”,” how the idea of someone saying “it’s okay to like it” is inherently funny because it subscribes to the notion that strangers are allowed to dictate to other strangers what is and isn’t “okay” in various deeply low stakes situations and “is it still okay to like this cartoon now that the author said a thing that is 1% offensive” is also a moot point because “reevaluating” whether it’s “okay” to like a piece of media is just kind of silly to begin with (IN MOST CASES) and is not healthy and not something most people do beyond “do I want to give this person money.” While your average individual may have an artist, actor, director or two they choose not to engage with on principle, most people do not spend large amounts of time or energy even asking if a piece of media or other is “moral” to consume, much less arguing at any length about the answer. “I know it’s okay for people to like it but should we not revaluate” you can if you want to but “reevaluating” at all unless the artist in question is like. P Diddy or actual JK Rowling isn’t a normal or healthy thing to spend your time on unless it’s specifically to determine your own feelings and if you personally want to continue to engage with the thing. If your response to any creator saying a very very mildly controversial thing is to go online and start a debate to look to others to tell you if it’s morally okay or not to continue liking a thing, you have a touch of moral OCD! That’s not good for you!

[just-the-cool-page]

Ellen Fesserlippenchip and Nancy Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff, the proud founders of the Fesserlippenchip-Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff Foundation, alongside Dr. Edward Lickenhackenfillypasselbeck, discoverer of Snappytrickenpintopacker syndrome.

https://youtu.be/T5dSzstbSxw

And if you're looking for that website again...

That's..

[sexualintimidationdemon]

Day 20

Reflections on: Halloween Kills (2021)

This takes place immediately after Halloween (2018). You should watch that before watching this or you’ll definitely be pretty confused!

John Carpenter’s music was perfect, as always. I got goosebumps after only the first couple of piano and synth notes :)

I appreciated the flashbacks to Halloween night 1978 which showed new scenes that were concurrent with the events of Halloween (1978). This was a rare well-done retcon that successfully deepened the modern character’s motivations and provided richer context for the present story. 

Like the previous film this was written by Danny McBride and David Gordon Green, yet it was missing their signature humour. I wished there was a little more levity in this. It’s pretty brutal, even for a slasher!

Anthony Michael Hall plays Tommy - the little boy Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) babysat in the original film. He is UNRECOGNIZABLE as the Tony Hall you know and love. A shot of his face lit up by red light cuts immediately to a shot of a jack-o-lantern (see both above). After this comparison I couldn’t imagine him as anything other than a pumpkin. 

I will never look at a fluorescent light bulb the same way again.

Kyle Richards (who you may know as one of The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills or possibly from Watcher in the Woods (1980)) reprises her role from the 1978 Halloween as Lindsey, one of a few survivors of Michael Myers. I liked the addition of side characters who were personally affected by the events of the first film. Of course their lives were irrevocably altered 40 years ago, and as a result some of them feel like they must now be the heroes of the story. If I survived Mikey M. as a kid I think I would have moved far far away from Haddonfield, Illinois - probably to an uncharted island surrounded by sharks and mines.

One of my horror movie pet peeves is the ridiculously inaccurate depiction of hospitals. Morgues are not designed in a way that a murder victim’s mother can accidentally discover the body of her disfigured child through a window in a busy hallway! COME ON! Hospital chaos was the most stressful part of this film for me. A mob of angry townspeople including doctors and nurses trample people and knock each other down stairwells. Medical students take the Hippocratic Oath to, “first, do no harm”. COME ON!

An over-the-top (even for Halloween) rich couple (see above) now lives in Michael Myers’ childhood home. They are Big John, a honey-pondering, stoned jazz daddy, and Little John, a pirate daddy played by MADtv’s Michael McDonald. I’m sorry I know he’s been in many other things since then, but I will always associate him with that problematic show and Zima (a drink I’ve actually encountered only once - weirdly in Kochi, Japan). How do I know they’re rich? Sure, the house was probably cheap to buy as it was the site of multiple murders, but they’ve obviously put a lot of money into renovations. They also leave FOUR lamps on in their upstairs bedroom while they watch a movie downstairs. I did love that they were watching Minnie and Moskowitz (1971) by John Cassavetes - a perfect choice for Halloween night. 

Laurie, albeit “geeked out on pain meds” tells Tommy to go find and kill Michael Myers. I know she’s not his babysitter anymore and Tommy is a fully grown adult, but this is still terrible, irresponsible advice. Laurie!!

I know I said I liked the addition of all the side characters but there might actually be too many characters in this!

The soundtrack includes an Anne Murray song?! Scary! The fact that I was able to identify an Anne Murray song - horrifying!!!

One adult survivor character gives an order to two teens (in an attempt to protect them!) that follows the same logic from Children of the Corn (1983): “[If] you see anything suspicious - you honk the horn.” Have these people learned nothing?! Honking?!

As just noted in Anamorph (2007), we are again presented with several gruesome tableaus. Why are serial killers such creative installation artists?! Are they taking some sort of online course?? Good for them!

[lozenger8]

Does anyone else find they end up liking later iterations or versions of archetypes more than the originals?

Like Monty Python. I know a decent number of Monty Python jokes and references. I’ve watched two of the movies. I tried to watch the sketch show(s). But I don’t find them especially funny. I just don’t.

But so many of the sketch comedy shows that have clearly been influenced by them? Kids in the Hall? MADtv? That Mitchell and Webb Look? Armstrong and Miller? Smack the Pony? Hilarious to me, with a much larger hit to miss ratio. I can see that they would not exist if it had not been for Monty Python, that in different sketches they display similar sensibilities. And yet. 

Han Solo as a character archetype. Eh, I can take him or leave him tbh. He’s fine. I don’t hate him. I did not fall in love with him. But other snarky heart-of-gold rogues? Sign me up, babyyy. I will love them dearly, it’s almost guaranteed. Yet I know a lot of those characters are probably based more on Han than any other character given the pop cultural impact of Star Wars.

I like Elementary’s version of Sherlock Holmes more than any other. I like musicians who try to sound like Leonard Cohen more than I like Cohen’s music. I like most newer commentary YTers compared with their antecedents. 

Is this the reverse hipster? i only like it now that it’s cool? Please tell me I’m not alone.

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Totally Hits 3 2000 Pop / Pop-Rock / Alternative Rock / R&B / Country

The success of the top 40 greatest hits comp throughout the late 90s and early aughts in America is just a phenomenon that I'm not sure that I'll ever totally understand. It's like, hey kids, you know those songs that we constantly inundate you with that you listen to literally all the time on radio and MTV for free? Well, how would you like to pay $18.99 for the ability to listen to those same exact songs all the time even more?! What a scam, man!

Anyway, the first top 40 greatest hits series to hit real paydirt in the US, as you probably know already, was Now That's What I Call Music!, which was the result of a partnership between Universal Music Group and EMI. The series had actually been around since 1983 in the UK, but it sold like fucking hotcakes when they finally decided to bring it stateside in 1998.

And jealously witnessing all those moved units from the sidelines were BMG and Warner Music Group, who then decided to form their own partnership, and ended up releasing their own series, Totally Hits, which played as the consummate MadTV to Now's SNL.

Now, I think what seems to get lost in the sauce between series like Now and Totally Hits is that people think that these are just comps that merely take chart-busting hits and put them on a CD. But what people don't seem to realize is that every song placed on these comps is actually owned by one of the labels participating in their respective partnerships. That is to say, every song that appears on a Now comp comes from either Universal Music Group or EMI and their many sublabels and subsidiaries, and every song that appears on a Totally Hits comp comes from either BMG or Warner Music Group and their many sublabels and subsidiaries.

So, who's got the better catalog? I think it's pretty clearly the Now labels. But then again, it was never really a contest, was it? I mean, people still watched MadTV, right? And MadTV knew they'd never touch SNL, but they got high enough ratings to make the venture still seem worth the effort. Same for Totally Hits. I don't think BMG and Warner ever expected to sniff Now's throne, but they still managed to sell plenty of records for themselves.

And honestly, in retrospect, I think the lane that Totally Hits occupied was one that effectively presented hits that we may have actually at this point totally forgotten about. They definitely had #1s, and they put those on their CDs, but I'd be totally lying if I told you that I had heard "Wifey" by Next since it came out 21 years ago. And when's the last time you thought about Vitamin C? Did you actually completely forget about her solo career? Be honest!

Now is all the hits you remember, but Totally Hits, because of their less robust catalog, actually turns out to be the hits you remember and also some hits you probably haven't heard in a very long time. And in some ways, that makes it more enjoyable. It's a good series to pillage for nostalgia junkies like myself who thought they'd actually hit a dead end in uncovering all the  nostalgia that they could find, but actually came upon a pretty sweet fix instead.

Highlights:

P!nk - "Most Girls" Matchbox Twenty - "Bent" Vertical Horizon - "Everything You Want" Third Eye Blind - "Deep Inside of You" Barenaked Ladies - "Pinch Me" Dido - "Here With Me" Toni Braxton - "He Wasn't Man Enough" Christina Aguilera - "What a Girl Wants" Next - "Wifey" Vitamin C - "Graduation" The Corrs - "Breathless" Whitney Houston - "Fine"

[fearsmagazine]

MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: BATTLE OF THE REALMS Arrives August 31st, 2021

The fate of the universe once again hangs in the balance as warriors come together for one final clash in Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms, an all-new, feature-length film produced by Warner Bros. Animation in coordination with NetherRealm Studios and Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment. The film arrives from Warner Bros. Home Entertainment on Digital, Blu-ray, and 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack on August 31, 2021.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms will be available on Blu-ray (US $29.98 SRP; Canada $39.99 SRP) and 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack (USA $39.99 SRP; Canada $44.98 SRP) and Digital. The Blu-ray features a Blu-ray disc with the film in hi-definition and a digital version of the movie. The 4K Ultra HD Combo Pack features an Ultra HD Blu-ray disc in 4K with HDR, a Blu-ray disc featuring the film in hi-definition, and a digital version of the movie. Pre-order will be available for the Blu-ray and 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray Combo Pack beginning on June 28, 2021, and for Digital starting on July 8, 2021.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms picks up shortly after the explosive finale of Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge, the 2020 blockbuster hit that initiated these animated films – which are based on one of the most popular videogame franchises in history. In Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms, our team of heroes are besieged by the enemy forces of Shao Kahn – forcing Raiden and his group of warriors into a deal to compete in a final Mortal Kombat that will determine the fate of the realms. Now our heroes must travel to Outworld in order to defend Earthrealm and, simultaneously, Scorpion must find the ancient Kamidogu before it's used to resurrect the One Being – which would mean certain destruction of all things in the universe. Time is short and the stakes are high in this action-packed continuation of the Mortal Kombat journey.

Joel McHale (Community, Stargirl) and Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter, Batman: Gotham by Gaslight) return to their lead roles as Hollywood star-turned-fighter Johnny Cage and all-business warrior Sonya Blade, respectively. Also returning for the sequel are Jordan Rodrigues (Lady Bird, The Fosters) as Liu Kang; Patrick Seitz (Mortal Kombat X, Aggretsuko, Naruto: Shippuden) as Scorpion & Hanzo Hasashi; Artt Butler (Her, Star Wars: The Clone Wars) as Shang Tsung & Cyrax; Robin Atkin Downes (The Strain, Batman: The Killing Joke) as Shinnok & Reiko; Dave B. Mitchell (Mortal Kombat 11, Call of Duty franchise) as Raiden, Kintaro & Sektor; Ikè Amadi (Mass Effect 3, Mortal Kombat 11) as Jax Briggs & One Being; Grey Griffin (The Loud House, Young Justice, Scooby-Doo franchise) as Kitana, Satoshi Hasashi & Mileena; and Fred Tatasciore (Robot Chicken, Family Guy) as Shao Kahn.

New to the Mortal Kombat Legends voice cast are Matthew Mercer (Critical Role, Justice Society: World War II) as Stryker & Smoke; Bayardo De Murguia (Tiny Pretty Things) as Sub-Zero/Kuai Liang; Matt Yang King (Mortal Kombat 11 video game, Justice League vs. The Fatal Five) as Kung Lao; Paul Nakauchi (Carmen Sandiego, Overwatch) as Lin Kuei Grandmaster; Emily O’Brien (Days of Our Lives, Constantine: City of Demons) as Jade; Debra Wilson (World of Warcraft: Shadowlands, MADtv) as D’Vorah.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms is directed by Ethan Spaulding (Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge, Batman: Assault on Arkham) from a script by Jeremy Adams (Supernatural, Justice Society: World War II) and based on the videogame created by Ed Boon and John Tobias. Rick Morales (Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders, Batman vs. Two-Face) is Producer. Jim Krieg (Batman: Gotham by Gaslight) is Producer. Executive Producer is Sam Register. Ed Boon (NetherRealm Studios) is Creative Consultant.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms Special Features Blu-ray, 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray Combo Pack and Digital

• The God and the Dragon: Battling for Earthrealm (Featurette) - Go behind the scenes and inside the creative process of bringing Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms to action-packed life on screen.

• Voices of Kombat (Featurette) - Join Joel McHale, Jennifer Carpenter, and the cast as they detail the process of creating unique and compelling voices for the larger than life characters in the film.

• Kombat Gags: Gag Reel (Featurette) - Step inside the VO booth with the cast of the film for all of the flubbed lines and outrageously improvised lines from the cutting room floor.

• Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms Audio Commentary (Audio Only) - Producer Rick Morales and Screenwriter Jeremy Adams take the audience inside the art of writing and animating the film in this feature length audio commentary.

Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms will also be available on Movies Anywhere. Using the free Movies Anywhere app and website, consumers can access all their eligible movies by connecting their Movies Anywhere account with their participating digital retailer accounts.

ABOUT MOVIES ANYWHERE

Movies Anywhere is a digital movie platform that enables movie fans to discover, access, and watch their favorite digital movies in one place. Movies Anywhere brings together a library of nearly 7,500 digital movies from Sony Pictures, Twentieth Century Fox Film, The Walt Disney Studios (including Disney, Pixar, Marvel Studios and Lucasfilm), Universal Pictures (including DreamWorks and Illumination Entertainment) and Warner Bros., and will continue to expand the consumer experience as more content providers, digital retailers and platforms are added. By connecting participating digital retailers that include Amazon Prime Video,  the Apple TV app, FandangoNOW, Google Play, and Vudu, movie fans can now bring together their digital movie collections (whether purchased or redeemed) in one place and enjoy them from the comfort of their living rooms, and across multiple devices and platforms, including Amazon Fire devices; Android devices and Android TV; Apple TV, iPhone, iPad and iPod touch; Chromecast; Roku® devices and popular browsers. Movie fans can also redeem digital codes found in eligible Blu-ray and DVD disc packages from participating studios and enjoy them through Movies Anywhere. Movies Anywhere – your movies, together at last.

PRODUCT                                                    SRP Blu-ray                                                           $29.98 USA, $39.99 Canada 4K UHD Combo Pack                                    $39.99 USA, $44.98 Canada

Blu-ray and 4K Blu-ray Languages: French, German, Latin-Spanish, English Blu-ray and 4K Blu-ray Subtitles: Dutch, French, Latin-Spanish, English-SDH, German - SDH Running Time: 80 minutes R for strong bloody violence throughout and some language.