#now watch it rain tomorrow lmao

[b4kuch1n]

and the storm he was driving/washed it away/in the eye there was a silence

[hier--soir]

a lover's pinch | six

joel miller x f!reader

pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: joel and rachel have dinner. a confession is made. warnings/tags: au, university professor joel, age gap [20 something years diff], ethically dubious relationship due to inherent power imbalance, JOEL POV, sexting/nudes, joel has bad restaurant etiquette lmao, descriptions of arousal, references to past smut, the guilt and shame that sometimes go so neatly hand in hand with wanting, miller daughter cameo, mild angst, discussion of a car accident. word count: 4.8k series masterlist | main masterlist a lover's pinch playlist a/n: just a reminder that this is set within ALP5, when joel goes to have dinner w rachel. just a short little peek into my beloved professor’s mind, and some context between j & r. hope you like it x follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing this is part six of ALP. you can read the previous parts here: one, two, three, four, five.

Sunday.

“Nina thinks it’ll rain tomorrow. Overcast too, probably.”  

There’s a faint hum through the phone as she speaks. A vague buzz that crackles and pops in almost every beat of silence. Not for the first time, Joel wishes she would let him buy her a new phone.

A gust of wind whips against his face and he cringes, turning his back against the draft.

“Okay,” he replies. “That’s okay, right?”

“It’s fine,” she grumbles. “Wanted to take you to this bar, though. They do these tacos we love. Nina says it’s the best Mexican place in New York.”

“Now how many times do I have to tell you there’s no good Mexican food in New York?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Joel can practically hear her rolling her eyes. He chuckles.

“What time are you coming ‘round?” Ellie asks. “I’ll be in the studio for most of the day, but we normally get home around five. Could do dinner around eight?”

Joel hesitates, and then raises his voice to be heard over the rushing wind. “I was actually thinkin’ I’d come see your studio.”

A moment of humming, crackling silence.

“I’d love to see some of your work,” he continues, peering in through the window of the restaurant. He thinks he can see Rachel through the frosted glass – her mess of dark curls vaguely visible, tucked away somewhere in the corner of the space. He hears Ellie breathing through the phone as he looks. “And s’been too long since you showed your old man any of your paintings.”

“Joel,” she huffs, and it’s that smartass, pained tone that has him grinning wider than anything she’s said up until this point.

It’s few and far between lately – hearing that name coming from her mouth. Joel. Something that’s been intermittent for almost a decade, and has been steadily decreasing since she moved to New York five years ago.

Joel, Dad, Joel, Dad, Joel, Dad.

Joel for years, and then one day—Dad.

It was Summer; Ellie was eighteen and he was thirty-nine, and this word that he’d grown so accustomed to hearing suddenly felt like a fist squeezing around his heart. It became something new, something different. Because Joel knew that, for her, family had always meant mistrust. Had always meant loneliness. Knew that sometimes her childhood felt like a knife stuck in her throat, and on those days, she had to decide whether to leave it in and stem the blood flow, or pluck out the blade and watch everything turn red.

And then one day, years on, it seemed that she’d drawn that dagger enough times. The blood stopped, the mistrust fell away, and—Dad.

Dad to Sarah and now, finally, Dad to Ellie.

“Ellie,” he imitates her tone, well-versed in mirroring her attitude after so many years of practice.

A voice rears up directly behind him and Joel stiffens, glancing over his shoulder to watch a couple exit the restaurant. Coat collars dragged up to protect their necks, arms linked as they smile and start down the street. He imagines Rachel sitting inside, alone, and his smile falters. He knows he should go back in soon, but can’t quite bring himself to cut this short.

“Yeah, okay,” Ellie answers finally, and he can feel the weight that rests in those words.

The admission, but also everything that goes unsaid alongside it. A silent acknowledgement of years spent reading between the lines, trying to know each other; years of her locking her bedroom door, hiding her journals, her artbooks, her pencils. Anything to keep someone else from seeing the way she expresses herself – from understanding that she feels anything. And this yeah, okay – well, it’s as close to I love you as the two of them ever get.

Joel says, “I’ve been missin’ you, kiddo.”

And she says, “I know.”

More silence. More contemplation of how to respond, how to keep emotions level when he is not Joel in this moment, but Dad.

Plucking out the blade.

“Ten tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the address,” Ellie says after a while. “Don’t be late or I’m not showing you shit, old man.”

Heat blasts his face when he steps back inside the restaurant. He tugs his jacket off as he wanders his way toward their little corner table inside San Vecchio—old saint. A small Italian place that Rachel likes to visit whenever she’s the city, and has slowly but surely grown on him.

When he gets close enough to see the table his stomach drops, face twisting into something apologetic as he lowers himself into his chair.

“Shit,” Joel mutters, staring at their food. Brought out while he was on the phone, sitting untouched; she didn’t even pick up her fork in his absence. A shameful heat rises in his face. “I’m sorry, Rach.”

“Hon,” she just laughs him off. “It’s okay, it only just came out.”

He nods, grateful, and lets her pour him a generous glass of wine. Red. A bottle of the Carignan, please, he remembers her telling the waiter. Although, when he takes a sip, he can’t tell the difference between this and the twenty-dollar cabernet he buys once a fortnight from the grocer.

They press the lips of their glasses together and murmur soft calls of cheers and another conference done, the words all but swallowed up by the raucous sounds around them.

“How is she then?” she prompts, never able to tame her curiosity.

“Ellie?” Joel’s eyebrows jut up, and he sets his wine glass down. “Good, yeah, good. It was nice to hear her voice, I, uh, I’ve missed too many of that kid’s calls over the past few months.”

Rachel nods, and when she smiles his chest feels a little lighter, because it’s the type of smile that says it’s okay, everything is okay, you’re a good dad, you took the call. And she has always had that kind of soothing effect on him, since the day he met her all those years ago. There’s this compassion to her character; a warmth akin to that of a sister. Smarter than hell and kinder than she’s ever been given credit for.  

“Are you seeing her while you��re in town?”

“Mhm, tomorrow.”

“Well, that will be lovely,” she beams and takes a sip of her wine. Carignan stains her mouth. “Is she still with Nina?”

“She is.”

“God, that must be, what, four years they’ve been together now? That’s great, Joel.”

“I’m happy for her,” he smiles, gripping his fork. “They’re renting out this art studio together at the moment – Nina’s an artist too, did I—?”

“Yeah, you told me.”  

“Yeah, they’ve been using the space to work on some new stuff. Ellie was tellin’ me ‘bout this gallery downtown, how they’ve offered her some exhibit space. Gonna have a show down there in March.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing,” Rachel’s eyebrows raise, top lip quirking into a soft smirk as she twirls her fork through a mess of red pasta. “Do you think they’ll get married? Follow in Sarah and Tim’s footsteps?”

Joel can’t help but laugh at the idea. He tries to imagine Ellie and Nina in a chapel, or on a beach, or anywhere, professing their love for one another with friends and family watching on. Tries to imagine Ellie, all tattoos, messy hair, and gangly arms, tucked into a suit or a dress. The image doesn’t come easily.

“I don’t really think they’re the type,” he admits, and Rachel laughs too then.

“No,” she agrees. “I guess not.”

She asks more questions about the girls, the way she always does. Asks about Sarah’s job at the primary school, if teaching is all she thought it would be.

And something like halfway through their meal, around a mouthful of food, Rachel says, “You know I’m glad we’re here, because I need to ask you something.”

Joel’s hands still, face going slack as he meets her eye. There’s something conniving in them. Something sly in the way she smiles, baring her teeth at him. It makes his stomach twist into a tight, burning knot. What does she know?

“Okay,” he says slowly, lowering his knife.

“So,” she hums. “At the conference yesterday…”

“Yeah?” he rasps, blunt nails digging into his thigh beneath the table.

“I couldn’t ask you about it because I didn’t want anyone to overhear us, but… did you see what Professor Neilson was wearing? That blazer?”

“Jesus,” he deflates.

“Oh, come on,” she sputters, and there’s lipstick stained on her front teeth and he finds himself smiling too, relaxing.

“You’re a filthy gossip, you know that?” he raises an eyebrow.

She grins back at him. Winks and says, “Don’t act like you don’t love it, Miller.”

So, for an hour they eat, and talk, and drink. Don’t stop until their cheeks are sore from smiling and their ribs are tight and aching from laughter.  

With full bellies and rosy cheeks, they scrape their plates clean. Lips purse and pucker around final sips of wine, and then… and then Rachel reaches across the table and places her hand atop his.

And Joel has never noticed that she has sunspots across her knuckles. Never noticed that she wears a ring on her pinkie finger, one with a dark emerald stone in the middle. Never noticed the thin white scar beside the nail on her index. She squeezes his hand, the pad of a finger skimming his wrist, and he remembers how he held someone else’s wrist only hours before this. Felt her skin beneath his fingers – the frailty of the tendons and veins beneath it, swimming with life as his thumb pressed down.   

Joel feels his eye twitch. Works to keep his face relaxed, calm. And when she leaves her hand there, he laughs a little. A choked, wary sound. Turns his hand over so his knuckles are against the table and his palm is against her palm and squeezes once in return. Rachel isn’t smiling anymore.

“You okay, Rach?”

“Do you…” she pauses, mouth twisting into a shy smile as she clears her throat. Joel feels something heavy settle in his stomach. A type of dread that curdles and burns like red sky at morning. “Do you remember when Sarah was in that car accident a few years back?”

Joel swallows. Her hand feels too warm against his, her palm tacky with sweat.

“We were… we were at work, and… and Tim called you and told you she was in the hospital—”

He almost cringes at the memory. Her husband’s name flashing across his phone screen during a lecture. Stomach churning and why is Tim calling me, heart racingand Tim never calls. Remembers hearing those panicky breaths down the line and thinking Texas and Maine had never felt further apart than in that moment.

“You drove me to the airport,” he nods. His knuckles feel tight – he wants to pull his hand back and crack them. Wants to feel the joints pop beneath his skin, let the tension slip away like a sigh.

“You were so distraught,” Rachel sighs. “I’d never seen you like that. So uncomposed, so… chaotic.”

Joel huffs out an awkward laugh and tries to pull his hand back, but she squeezes harder. Keeps it in place beneath her own.

“What’s this all about?” his eyebrows furrow, face pinching into a sort of scowl. He can feel it, he can always feel it when his face does this. So unpleasant, so unwelcoming, and he knows it. Just never figured out how to stop it from happening.

“We were in the car,” she continues, and her eyes are so earnest now. So wide, the whites shining, her lashes darkened and fanned out around them in a way he’s never seen before. She’s wearing makeup. “And you didn’t even have a bag packed, you just wanted to get to your girl. Needed to see her with your own eyes, make sure she was okay.”

His jaw feels tight inside his head; teeth clenched painfully, digging into the gums around his molars as the memory plays in his mind.

Tim’s voice wavering, crying, she was unconscious when they pulled her out.

His hand is numb beneath Rachel’s. She’s fine, he reminds himself. Sarah’s fine, that was years ago.

“I think I knew then,” she says quietly.

“Knew what?” Joel tries to keep his voice level. Ignoring the odd feeling that twists in his chest and has his heart racing faster, so much faster than normal, faster than it has ever raced for Rachel.

“That I loved you.”

It’s almost dreamlike, the way everything seems to blur and fade around them after she says it. Or perhaps nightmarish is the right word. A sharp pain sparks between his ribs and he feels his body stiffen and then loosen all at once. Face, shoulders, hand beneath hers – everything softens. Fuck. His mouth tastes like sandpaper, tongue resting fat and gravelly against the roof of it as she stares at him.

When he doesn’t say a word, she says, “I’d always known you were so kind, so generous to the people around you. But to see the way you love? It’s… shit, Joel, I just knew.”

He’s convinced his throat is tightening.

“And I held it in all of these years, and I’m sorry for that. I was just never sure of how you felt, and you never tried anything with me, never hinted at any feelings. But after the conference yesterday...”

“The conference?” he whispers. He pictures that bench outside NYU. Remembers the nasty wind, an empty champagne flute on the ground, the side of his body going hot where it pressed against hers.

“Walking around that hall together,” Rachel smiles. “You kept holding your arm out for me to hold, and I thought, god, maybe this is it. Maybe you actually feel the same.”

Joel imagines that this must be what people describe as critical velocity. Everything that once was smooth turns turbulent. Every second, every minute, that he’s allowed himself to careen forward, wanton and reckless, on the deliciously destructive course he’s set for himself – all of it just for someone close to him to step directly into his line of fire.

And his silence is so painfully telling. He knows immediately when it’s been too long, too much quiet, too many seconds of nothing said, of no reassurances offered. The muscle in her jaw ticks, and a vertical line appears between pinched eyebrows. Confusion, surprise, hurt. Her hand pulls back, and he tucks his in his lap quickly.

“Oh,” she whispers. “Oh, shit.”  

Joel is suddenly certain that he’s going to be sick. His hands shake beneath the table, a violent tap tap tap where they’re clasped against the inside of his thigh.

“Rachel—”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

“Please, don’t apol—”

“I shouldn’t have said—”

“Rachel,” Joel’s voice raises, just a little, just enough to make her pause, enough for conversation at the table beside them to halt for a second. “If anythin’, I should be the one apologisin’.”

She laughs; a sad, quiet thing. Shakes her head at him.

“I guess I… somewhere in my head, I thought you knew,” Rachel says quietly. “Thought you….” The unspoken words hang in the air between them. Thought you felt the same.

And it hurts. His skin prickles at the sound of her voice; laced with pain, with rejection. Your fault, he thinks. That pain is your fault.

“Is there someone else?” she asks then, and her voice is so feeble. So small, so un-Rachel that it makes his chest feel tight. Your fault.

Joel sighs, cringes, fumbles for the right words. The words to explain something that he himself doesn’t even fully understand. Words that will make her feel better, that will put her at ease. Put him at ease.

“It’s not….” he trails off, half-prepared to lie. But then he meets her gaze. Sees the tears that have settled on her waterline and knows he can’t. Wants to hate her for asking, wants to beg her to take back the question. But in the end he just admits quietly, “I suppose there is.”

She sniffles, and when she speaks again, it almost sounds like a question.

“You never mentioned anyone.”  

“I know,” Joel nods. “I’m sorry, I think I just… it’s complicated, and it… it’s new.”

“New,” she repeats softly. “And you never… you never thought of me that way.” This time it isn’t posed like a question. There is nothing open ended about it. Instead it’s resigned; final.

The corners of her mouth are downturned, and her lower lip wobbles, a movement so miniscule that he could have missed it if his eyes weren’t trained on her face. Trying painfully to understand this situation that feels as if it has crept up on him in his sleep. 

“I’m sorry,” Joel finds himself saying again, and he thinks his eyes must be wide, unblinking, because they’re dry, and he feels panicked.  

In his mind all he can think of is every cup of coffee in her office, every borrowed book, every sly joke in the corridor at work. Comforting smiles offered at conferences, snarky notes passed back and forth during faculty meetings. His friend. One of the truest, longest, most persevering ones in his life. One so dear to his heart. The idea of all of that being no more seems almost too painful to contemplate in the middle of a restaurant, with your fault thundering in his chest.

Rachel waves a hand. Feigns nonchalance and offers a watery smile.

“I’m happy for you, Joel,” she says. He doesn’t miss the waver in her voice, nor the harsh splash of crimson humiliation that stains the skin of her face. “I am. Really.”

Except he doesn’t know how to respond to that, doesn’t know what there is to be happy for. Can only watch her face. Can only sit, and stare like a fool at the way the skin beneath her eyes tightens as she draws back tears.

“I’m—” Rachel swallows. Sucks in a huge breath and flattens her palms against the table. Her napkin, stained with soft blots of red and brown, is pressed beneath the fingers of her left hand. The one with the sunspots and the ring and the scar. “Sorry, if you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’m going to use the restroom—”

“Rach,” he tries, hand reaching across the table for—for what? Joel isn’t sure. What is there to do? To say? “What can I do?”

“It’s okay,” she stands, holds a hand out to silence him. Steps out from the behind table and squeezes past him. Her fingers brush against his arm as she goes. “It’s fine, I’m fine, I just need a second to freshen up.”

Joel watches her weave through the restaurant, shifting around tables, until her back disappears through a door at the far end of the room.

There’s a minute of painful quiet. A sort of buzzing in his ears that won’t go away. For a moment all he’s aware of is the look of disdain coming from the woman on the table to his left, and the sharp pain in his chest, and then the sounds of the restaurant come rushing back in. Cutlery scraping against plates, conversation, laughter, the sound of a bell ringing. And something buzzing, really truly buzzing this time. Something against his leg.

Joel pulls his phone out of his pocket and tries not to wince when he sees her name on the screen.

Are you enjoying your dinner?

The glance he spares over his shoulder is short, searching, looking to see if she’s coming back yet. Don’t make this worse than it already is.

Yeah, the restaurant is nice.

What are you doing? 

Well my bags are packed, and I just tucked myself into bed

Something tightens in his stomach, and he knows what she’s doing, knows this game so well. The way she always manages to creep beneath his skin. Knows exactly what to say, to do, to have him hanging on her every word.

His fingers hover over the screen, contemplating a response.

Is that right? he types out, and then grimaces, backspacing quickly.  

Want some company? he types next.

“Christ,” Joel mutters under his breath, erasing that too.

Embarrassment itches across his body. And then guilt, like a tidal wave chaser rushing to cool his inflamed skin, as he notices Rachel walking back toward him. You fucking asshole.

He straightens in his seat, tucking his phone out of sight as she hovers beside the table, eyes darting between him and her empty chair. She doesn’t sit down again.

“I think,” she takes a deep breath. “I think I should probably go. Early flight to catch, you know? I need to get some rest.”

“Yeah,” he says quietly.

He can feel his mouth hanging open, dumbfounded, ridiculous, as his brain scavenges for something to say. Never the right words, never when he needs them. Not for her, and not for Rachel.

Rachel reaches for her purse, and he holds out a hand. “Hey, let me… I’ll cover this.”

She pauses, nods. “Thanks.”

“Course,” he says gruffly. She pulls her coat from the back of her chair, wraps it around herself and does the buttons up slowly. Her mascara is smudged. “Hey, Rach, can we… should we talk about this some more? I don’t want to—”

“Not tonight,” she interrupts sharply. “Please, Joel, I’m sorry, just…. not tonight.”

—lose you.

“Sure, okay.” His throat is tight, your fault lodged heavy against his Adam’s apple. “You need help to get a taxi?”

“I’m fine,” she places a hand lightly on his shoulder, and presses her thumb against the skin beneath his collarbone. “Get home safe, okay? We can talk in Maine.”

“In Maine,” he repeats, and the words split and sour inside his mouth. “Okay.”

He doesn’t watch her leave. Doesn’t want to have to see her retreating from him. Doesn’t want to think about if this will be the last time they get to do this.

The waiter returns and he pays the bill, hastily jotting down a generous tip, and offers the women at the table on his left a tight-lipped smile before standing up.

When he finally makes his way outside, he finds a tax idling by the curb, lights on. The driver notices Joel staring; rolls down the window and raises his eyebrows. Where to?

Joel only shakes his head a little, leans his back against the dank, cold brick wall behind him. He takes a deep, shuddering breath before opening his phone, and sends two words.

Show me.

And then, when she doesn’t respond for a moment, he sends another message. Insistent now. Desperate, and even more desperate not to let it show.

I know you want to show me, sweetheart.

And when she does show him, it takes all of his might not to let this guilt consume him. Takes everything not to ruminate on how quickly he can shift from I’m sorry to Show me.

Because her skin.

So much skin.

Soft, smooth; shrouded in a robe that covers more than he’d like, and he knows how it tastes. Knows how it feels. Could press his fingers, his lips, his nose, to every part of it that he’s touched, in the exact same places, from memory alone.

It’s cold outside – windy, the beginnings of tomorrow’s storm twisting through the air. He feels it snake across his neck, curl beneath the lip of his collar, as he takes in the curve of her breast, the stiff point of her nipple, peeking out from behind white fabric. His cock stiffens in his pants.

He gazes at the softest part of her stomach, the thatch of curls that cover her mound, and wants to press his palms against the plush of her thighs. Wants to lay himself atop her, feel that skin against his again, hear her whimper and moan beneath the broad weight of him as he slips inside her. Wants to snatch her finger from her mouth and glide it inside his own. With her slick and her skin against his tongue, he’d sink his teeth in and inhale that warmth, that beating, pulsating force that he’s found himself so intoxicated by.

And to think, only hours ago, he was doing just that. Lowering himself to the ground in a public bathroom and drinking her down. Feeling the muscles in her thighs pull tight and then loose against the sides of his head. Anything to satisfy the craving that only she seems to inspire in him.

Resolute, persistent – a probing, prodding thing that nips at his heels and thrusts him forward at a double time pace.

A hunger that follows him down the nights and down the days.

A hunger that can only ever be sated like the taking of a sacrament – on his knees, devotion in his eyes.

Jesus.

Are you wet?

You know I am.

Are you touching yourself?

Joel’s jaw tightens. He holds his breath and waits. Can’t quite tell what would be worse; knowing that she’s touching herself, alone, thinking about him, or that she isn’t, that she’s waiting for him. He can feel his cock leaking against his thigh.

No.

He exhales heavily, and the faintest hint of a groan slips out with it. Fuck, pull yourself together.

Joel’s fingers float over the keyboard, and for a moment he thinks of Rachel.

Thinks that if he could only bring himself to look up, to look away from her, he might be able to see Rachel still. The back of her coat, the dark scrawl of her hair, disappearing into the night. Joel thinks of the tears in her eyes, taunting him, threatening to spill spill spill, to streak down rosy cheeks and wet the hollow of her throat. Feels something throb and crack in his chest – a painful, resounding ache that hurts so much like fear, like loss. 

Your fault, your fault, your fault.

And wouldn’t that be so much easier? If he were to look away, to chase his friend down the street and tell her that he was wrong, that he wants her, that it makes sense for them to be together. Wouldn’t it be easier if that were true?

But he doesn’t stop looking at her. He thinks of Pothos, of Himeros, and stares at the soft curve of her stomach, the indent of her belly button.  Looks at the way her lower lip rests below her finger and pictures it swollen, slick with a medley of her spit and his. Even notices a small mark, nestled in the crevice between her hip and the top of her thigh. A fading remnant of where his teeth had once pinched – like a tangible little footprint, whispering that he was there.

Longing and desire flame between the cracks of his ribs; a bright white heat that curls itself around your fault until he manages to shake the thought.

What was it that Kaminsky said? There was no mythology: Odysseus hanged himself. Homer drank to death and stank of mud.

And perhaps he was right; for there is no witness to this. No being over his shoulder, God or mortal, to lay their eyes upon this moment and understand that all he has ever known of love is deprivation. That fondest, blindest, weakest part of his being that has always yearned for, or perhaps grieved over, this love that once seemed so intangible and now, at last, maybe he has been deemed worthy of.

Alone so long, living in a body grown accustomed to such quiet. Familiar with no touch other than that of his own rough palms. And now… the intensity of it shakes within him. The urge to sink his teeth in like a bad dog and hold, hold, hold, to consume and be consumed, and never yield to anyone who wants to take this away from him.

No, there is no looking away from that, from her. Joel feels the noose tighten around his neck the longer he stares – a dog on the leash of its own longing, that need only sharpening with every second that dares to pass.

And Joel knows that nothing has ever been easy. Considers the idea that maybe that’s how it was supposed to be for him. And perhaps he doesn’t want easy, doesn’t want simple. No – Joel was always drawn to the flame.

Good.

Dinner finished early. Where are you?

And that flame welcomes him now in kind. The arms of a lover spread open for embrace; the address of her hotel sent directly to his phone.

Joel looks up and makes eye contact with the taxi driver again. Light still on.

Where to?

**the Kaminsky mentioned in this is Ilya Kaminsky, and the quote is from Dancing in Odessa.

thank you for reading! x

[idontknowanyonesblog]

Mirage rise of the beasts x gn reader

Mirage is kinda obsessed with reader and a bit of a perv. Slightly nsfw (mirage watched reader get undressed and watches them shower through their window and jerks off) BYE THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING LMAO

This was like my second fanfic I’ve ever written and I was to shy to post it but because I don’t have much experience writing this might not be very good and I didn’t feel like reading this over

Ever since your friend Noah had introduced you to his friend Mirage (who happened to be a 15 foot tall alien robot from space) he developed quite a liking to you. Anytime you went to the shop Mirage was always trying to talk and flirt with you. But if you were being honest, you didn’t mind it. Little did you know, Mirage had a special little “talent” which included being able to clone himself and turning invisible. One day he heard you huffing and cursing as you made your way to the door to enter the shop and Mirage wanted to test something out. He turned invisible and sat in the corner, waiting for you to enter and when you did you were absolutely soaked due to the heavy rain outside. You noticed nobody was in the shop which was a bit strange but you were too uncomfortable in your soaking wet clothes to care so you began to take your clothes off before grabbing some fresh clothes from your bag. For the few moments you were bare and stripped of your clothes, Mirage was secretly watching you with wide eyes clearly enjoying every second of it. You huffed as you put your wet clothes in your bag and went off somewhere else in the shop to get some work done and wait for the rain to pass by. After around a hour later the rain was only a small drizzle so you decided to pack up and go to back home. You walked around 10 minutes until you made it to the parking garage where you had parked before the rain came in. If you had known before hand about the rain you would’ve parked a bit closer to the shop but it didn’t matter now. It was late so Mirage knew you were heading home but he needed to see more of you. He had to or else he thought he might go feral. You’d asked him for a ride home a few times when your car was getting serviced so he knew where you lived thankfully for him.

He knew it was wrong to follow you home but he just had to. He followed you home, poor you, not knowing Mirage could become invisible and had used that to watch you undress and now he’s using it again to follow you home. Mirage felt bad about it, it was wrong but he couldn’t help himself. You were just too perfect for him to keep his sanity. Once you got to your house you went upstairs to take a nice hot shower, after such a long tiring day you deserved it. And Mirage deserved the view you gave him from the bathroom window. Your soft beautiful skin under the hot water mixed with the steam in the bathroom was such a mesmerizing site for the mech. And you wouldn’t expect a thing. Mirage was a nice mech, so funny and caring. He would never do something bad like this right? As you scrubbed your body and washed yourself, Mirage watched the whole thing happen. His spike beginning to throb with need. The panel slid and his spike was freed. His servo tightly wrapping around it and moving rapidly as he watched you. Small groans and whimpers left his mouth the closer he got to overloading. You turned towards the window for a moment and that’s when he overloaded transfluid all over his servo. The site of your body on full display from the angle you stood at. You were like a God/Goddess to him. Breathy whines left his mouth as he watched you step out of the shower and cover yourself with a towel. He wished he could’ve seen more but he had to go back to the shop before Noah got suspicious. He transformed back into his alt mode and drove away, hoping you’d come by the shop again tomorrow and hopefully give him another show.

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING IM SO SORRY😭

[rosietaeyongswife]

shameless | kim doyoung

AU: angst, fluff, drama, cheating au, readerxtaeyongxdoyoung SYNOPSIS: Marriage was supposed to be your dream. You were in love with Taeyong, until you came to realization that maybe he's not the one. Thankfuly, his best friends was there for you when you needed him the most. WC: 8k TW: cursing, cheating, mentions of sex AU: i do not support any kind of cheating. never. it's a pure fiction. yall i think i've improved my english lol one day i'll fix all my works because lmao yeah enjoy this pls:P

Marriage. How foolish of you to think it's going to be a dream come true. Well, everyone else stated that fact. According to them, marriage is one of the best stages of life. You've reached a certain point in life - perhaps an achievement. Too bad none of them said how much of a burden it can be.

Of course, the first few months were perfect. Dates, flowers, and affection. Isn't this what every woman craves? Kisses, gifts, and affirmations from your loved one. Those things blinded you. Only if you knew back then. Maybe then you would've left. It was your choice to ignore all the red flags. It's been a year, and it's a nightmare.

"Baby, can you do laundry?" You were running late, yet Taeyong does nothing. He could help you, at least. "I have to leave already. I showed you the other day how to do it. Will you do it for me, please?"

Taeyong was playing Call of Duty on the PS4 you've bought for him on his 27th birthday. He was focused on the game.

"Sure. I'll do it."

Without any other word, you left. Sometimes you'd like to smash that PlayStation into pieces. Taeyong does nothing around the house besides playing that damn thing.

It was a late call meeting with your work team. You couldn't focus on the words of your co-workers due to that weird gut feeling. Something deep down felt like something would go wrong. Ignoring this wasn't helping at all.

"Y/N, we want you to manage this project with Chaeyoung. Is that alright with you?" Your boss asked while you were drifting in your thoughts. "We believe your reviews and suggestions would make this successful on the market."

"Of course, I'll handle this."

"Thank you." He looked at the watch. "Okay, it's 9 p.m. We're done for today. I'm sorry we had to hold a meeting. It was a surprise to us too. You can go all home now."

Everyone left in a hurry, and so did you. The weather got worse, and it was raining. You couldn't get cold, so you called your husband. Silence. Again silence. He didn't pick up your calls. All you could do was run and pray that a bus would arrive.

"I called."

"Sorry, baby. I was too busy with the game. Look, I ranked up."

"That's amazing, but it's pouring outside, and I had to walk there by myself." You rolled your eyes at your husband's ignorance. "I'm fuckin tired. I just want to take a shower and go to sleep. Have you done the laundry like I asked you to?"

"Yes. It wasn't that hard." He laughed and turned the PS4 off. "I'm heading to sleep. Waiting for you in the bedroom."

At least he did what you had asked for. Walking in the bathroom was hopeful for you. Little did you know how much anger it would bring you.

"Taeyong! What the fuck have you done?!" Your husband was quick to run back to you. He was looking at you confusedly. "How could you ruin my white shirt for tomorrow? Why would you put red socks together with white laundry?"

"My bad. I'm sorry, honey." He looked at you with his doe eyes. "I didn't notice, sorry once again. I'll give you money to buy a new one."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" You scoffed. "I needed that shirt for work tomorrow. It's past 10p.m, what am I supposed to do? I asked you for one thing, and you managed to fuck it up."

"It's just a shirt, Y/N. You're overreacting. You can buy another one."

"It's not just about the shirt, Taeyong. You don't understand." You went next to him. "I don't have any clothes for work. Fuck."

Taeyong apologized once again and went back to the bed. He didn't really care about the fact that he ruined your shirt and left you alone past 10 pm, looking for clothes for work. He difted away to sleep while you had to hold your anger in yourself and calm down.

Your husband and you both work for the same company. You work in different departments and both of you start work at different hours. Taeyong got up and left an hour before you. As usual, you woke up to dirty dishes on the table and a cup of coffee on the counter. He didn't respect the fact that it was you who was cleaning the whole apartment.

"Look there. I guess you could've described another problem here, and we would put it together." Chaeyoung was taking notes on your words. "Do it, then send me the rest of the thing. I'll try to finish it by Friday."

"Thank you, and of course, I'm doing it."

Mark Lee was sipping on his coffee when he approached you. He was your best friend and best colleague from the company. Both of you go along pretty well.

"Someone's not in the mood today, huh?"

"Mark, please." You stopped on your way. "Don't get on my nerves today. It's not funny at all."

"Sorry, Miss Not in the Mood." He chuckled. "You slept on the wrong side, or what?"

"I slept on the right side."

"Then what happened?"

"Taeyong happened." Mentioning of your husband made your head hurt. "I asked him for one simple thing. Do laundry. That's all! Guess what." Mark was waiting for you to finally tell you the tea. "He ruined my shirt for today. I was tired, hungry, and annoyed, and on top of that, I had to find myself clothes for today."

Mark could only laugh. He was aware of your husband and how clumsy he can be.

"How did he even do it?"

"He put red socks and underwear together with white clothes. The majority of clothes were pijamas, but still. I didn't ask for much. I explained how the washing machine works about ten times!"

"Everyone makes mistakes, but your husband is crossing the line, Y/N. I'd be mad too. Yesterday was a horrible day."

It's almost the end of the month, so everyone is worked up. Every project needs to be finished ASAP, clients are waiting and aren't patient, and on top of that, your boss is scolding you for every little mistake you've made.

"You should be thankful you don't have to deal with it."

Another day went the same way. Today was another hard day, and the only thing you wished to do was fall asleep, but it seems like you won't be able to do that.

"Honey, I missed you."

Taeyong was looking at you with lust in his eyes. Deep down, you knew what he was about.

"Not today, sorry. I had a rough day, I'm exhausted."

"C'mon. I missed you and your body so much." He began to kiss down your neck. "I want you."

Anger was boiling in your veins. It's like you're talking to a wall.

"I told you no, why don't you give up? I'm not in the mood, I had a tiring day, and you expect me to fuck?"

"Fuck, Y/N." He stopped and put his hands into his hair. "We haven't had sex in months, alright? I have my needs, I'm fuckin horny, and I want to fuck my wife. I want us to feel good, yet you're always too busy to do so."

"I fuckin told you I'm tired. You're so, so.." His gaze went upon you. "Pushy. Leave me alone."

"Great."

The last thing you've heard was a door shutting. He left, and God knows when he'll be back. Like a kid. Your husband behaves like a spoiled child. Nothing ever satisfies him, and he wants things his way. Nothing in between.

Once you've been reading about all those unhappy couples who have sex once in a while, don't talk too much, or don't even know too much about each other. They're just together because they get used to each other and are way too comfortable to let go and leave. Little did you know you were going to face the same fate.

"Fuckin hell." You rolled your eyes. Taeyong wasn't picking up your calls when it was an important matter. "Boss, can I go into the marketing department to meet my husband? It's urgent."

He didn't even look up, but he nodded. Men.

The marketing floor was only three floors higher. Of course, you've known the majority of people working there thanks to Lee Taeyong. A few employees passed and greeted you.

Johnny was sitting by his desk, probably busy with his tasks that needed to be done by today.

"Hi, Johnny." He sent you a smile. "Do you know where Taeyong is?"

"Oh, hello, Y/N. Shit. I think he might leave for a lunch break with Jaehyun and Yuta."

"He did."

The voice was familiar to you. Turning your head, you saw no one else but Kim Doyoung. Your husband's co-worker and best friend.

"Fuck. Thank you, guys."

"Something did happen?"

"I wanted to ask him to drive me to Kun's bakery. It's Jaehyun's birthday in two days, but they need me there today. I guess they couldn't find a sample?" Doyoung was looking at you with his soft eyes, while you were stressed. "Nevermind. I'll go."

"Wait." Doyoung grabbed his coat. "I'll drive you. It's no problem for me. I'm on the break anyway."

Your whole body relaxed at his words. Somehow you felt different, because Taeyong usually rejects your requests, but Doyoung? He agreed right away.

As both you and Doyoung were on your way to Kun's bakery, Taeyong called you a few times. Asshole.

"Thank you, really. You have no clue how much this matters to me. You saved my day, Doyoung."

"No worries, I mean, I'm just driving you to the bakery. It's not hard, or something."

"I fear some people wouldn't agree." Doyoung glanced at you for a second. "Nevermind. Thank you, again. I bet Taeyong doesn't even remember we booked a cake at Kun's."

Both of you laughed at your remark. Doyoung was aware of how clumsy and nonresponsible his best friend can be.

"It wouldn't be Taeyong if he didn't forget about such a thing. But hey, look at you. You're about to solve a problem with Kun and come back to work, and you didn't need Taeyong's help."

"Wow, I'm so independent now. Not like you drove me there, at all."

Kim Doyoung was a year younger than Taeyong. Both of them have known each other since high school. Then they applied to the same business school where you met Taeyong. Both of them graduated and found a job at Lee Sooman's company. Like you did. Doyoung was different than Taeyong. He was clean, tidy, and he could cook. Everyone could depend on him when needed. He never let any of your friends down. Never. If you needed help, you should've called Doyoung. He was stylish and looked like an old-money guy. None of your friends, nor you, have seen him date. He probably had a few girlfriends, but they weren't serious, as you guessed.

"Well, I can pay you for-"

"Y/N, please." He stopped you mid-sentence. "Don't pay me at all. I had a great time picking a cake with you."

"Me too, Doyoung. Again, you're wonderful."

Taeyong was looking at you through the window of his office. He was calling you for an hour, and he had no response from you. He was a bit worried, but as he saw you with Doyoung.. He was relaxed.

Mark was smiling from ear to ear. He saw you coming into the building with Doyoung from the marketing department.

"What were you doing with Kim Doyoung?" He was moving his eyebrows in a funny way. "He's cool, right?"

"I had an emergency at Kun's bakery, yet my lovely husband wasn't picking up my calls." Mark scoffed. "He gave me a ride, and yes, he's a cool guy."

"Jaehyun's birthday, right?" You nodded. "I bought him a watch, and what about you and Taeyong?"

"I don't know. I was supposed to buy a cake, Taeyong is going to buy a gift. Please, I wish he had already done that."

Jaehyun's birthday is always a party at his house. He invites a whole friend group on the weekend, and makes a dinner. Everyone is drinking and having fun together. It was supposed to be an amazing day, but only if your husband didn't ruin it the day before.

"What do you mean you forgot?" Taeyong was stressed too. He knew he was meant to do something, but he had no idea what exactly. "Taeyong, you promised me you're going to buy him a gift!"

"Fuck, I forgot! Couldn't you do it? I'm busy with work, so it wouldn't hurt, Y/N."

"Are you kidding me?" You put on your coat. "I'm also working, I'm cleaning and cooking, I ordered the cake for Jaehyun's birthday, and both of us agreed that you're going to buy a gift!"

Every favor you're asking Taeyong for, ends in the same way every, fuckin, time. You can never depend on him.

"I help you too! Don't make me look like I'm some kind of lazy jerk. I simply forgot, things happen, okay."

"And what are we going to do? Are we going to show up with a cake for his 27th birthday and say sorry, but Taeyong fucked up once again?" The sarcasm in your tone was noticeable, and your husband wasn't a fan of it. "Do you even know what he likes?" Taeyong couldn't answer as he had no thoughts. "I knew it. God."

"Where are you going? It's past 8pm, and it's freezing outside?"

"None of your business. Clean after dinner. That's the last thing I'm asking you to do."

Cold February nights like this make you wonder about your life. Lately, both you and Taeyong have been fighting. You couldn't even remember when the last time both of you exchanged "I love yous". Are your friend's marriages the same? Do they fight a lot? Do they fight every day? Do they overcome it? To you, it seems like an endless circle.

Luck was with you tonight, because the old vinyl shop was open until 9. You made it on time to buy a jazz vinyl record for Jaehyun. He was a huge fan, everyone knew it, except Taeyong.

"That's a hundred dollas, mam."

The last shop you're going to visit is one owned by Haechan's uncle, who sells prestigious wines from all around the world. It was just a few blocks away.

As you were looking for a wine thatJaehyun hasn't tried yet, you've noticed familiar sillhouete.

"Doyoung?"

"Y/N?" He turned back with a gummy smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Emergency. Again."

"Mark mentioned that Taeyong was supposed to buy a gift, right?" He was visibly confused. "Then why are you here?"

"Key word 'supposed'."

For the first time ever, Doyoung felt bad for you. He always thought that you're a couple goals. Back in the day, you couldn't shut up about Taeyong. Either of you, were talking about each other, still in love. Taeyong never complained, nor did you. To be honest, every single one of your friends thinks you and Taeyong live your dream lives. Only Mark knew it was total opposite.

"I mean, maybe he was tired? Everyone works hard these days, people tend to forget things at times."

"Doyoung, please." You laughed sacristically. "I agree, but Taeyong always forgets about something. Doesn't matter if he's tired, or not."

For the time being, Doyoung had no explanation, nor could he defend his friend.

After a few minutes, Doyoung helped you pick a wine and took you home. It was another time he saved you. He was kind enough to drive you home.

"See you tomorrow, Y/N."

"See you too." As you were about to go into the building, you turned around. "Again, thank you."

Taeyong was asleep in the living room with a TV on. Typical of him. You looked over, and once again, Lee Taeyong disappointed you. The dishes were in the sink, not washed. You put the gifts down and did the dishes yourself.

Morning was a tense one. Neither of you speaks to yourself. The only thing you said was that you're going to pick up the cake by 5 pm. It was Saturday, and both you and your husband had a free day. Taeyong was probably waiting for you to make a lunch or something, but it wasn't your plan. You made yourself some waffles and ate them by yourself.

"Where's some for me?"

"Don't you have hands? Do it yourself."

He was looking at you in disbelief. Taeyong was used to you cooking and serving him food.

"Why are you bitching? I've already apologized. What else am I supposed to do?"

"I'm not bitching. I just made lunch for myself." He was getting annoyed with you. "It seems like I'm some kind of housewife to you. I'm not. Learn to do things yourself."

By 5pm, both of you were getting ready. It's been a long time since both of you went together somewhere. Taeyong stopped asking you on dates long time ago. Of course, you missed those silly dates. Your husband doesn't put effort in.

Taeyong was waiting for you in the car, while you put everything into a bag. One last look into the mirror, and you were looking pretty. In your eyes, everything seems fine.

"What are you wearing?" Taeyong almost burst laughing. "Honey, go change yourself, I don't think you look the best in such a dress."

For a moment, you felt stupid. Your own husband laughed at your look, even though you thought you looked great. A knee high, black dress and boots with a coat. Everyone was wearing that. It was a cute look.

"What do you even mean?"

"It's not made for you, I guess? I don't know, I just want to help you to not get emberrased."

"Oh, fuck you, Taeyong."

There was no time for changing, besides, you felt cute. A month ago, you would've run into the apartment to change but not today. You tried to ingore peaks Taeyong took. He hurt you. You thought you could ignore it, but as soon as you arrived, your self esteem was six fit under.

"Hey guys! Wow, Y/N, you look stuning!" Jaehyun welcomed you with a kiss on the cheek. "Suit yourselfs."

Jaehyun complimented you, but inside of your head there were Taeyong's words.

In the living room, everyone was waiting until Haechan would arrive with his fiance, Jimin. Johnny was sipping on a coffee with Sooyoung. Taeil was taking photos with his wife, Joohyun. Yuta, Jungwoo and Jaehyun were making food. Mark was laughing with his girlfriend, Soyeon. Doyoung was looking at you and Taeyong, when both of you arrived. Doyoung couldn't stop himself from looking at you. This dress complimented your body and your bueaty the best.

"Everyone let's drink. It's our Jaehyun's birthday." Johnny stood up with a glass of champagne in his left hand. "I can't believe you're already 27. We're all happy to be here and celebrate with you, dude."

The party was going great, everyone had fun, and none of the guests seem to be annoyed, or not having fun. Taeyong found himself sitting with Yuta playing games and drinking beer.

"Men are like children." Joohyun sat down next to you on the coach. "I can't believe they're almost in their 30s."

"Don't tell me that. Look at them, they're playing on the PlayStation as if they were teenage boys."

"At least we can have some time to ourselfes."

Joohyun was right. She was with Taeil since freshman year of the college. She was three years older than Moon Taeil and she was one of your closest female friends. Everyone looks up to her, since she was the oldest one in the friend group.

"Can I ask you something?" Joohyun looked at you waiting for your question. "Do you fight with Taeil often?"

"Hell yes! We fought in the morning because he didn't clean the bathroom like I asked him to."

"Did he do it after you had scolded him?"

"Of course. What kind of question is that?" She laughed at you, but you were dead serious. "Wait. Doesn't Taeyong do the same? You know, if you scold a man, then he's kind of irritated, but do it anyway out of respect for you."

"He doesn't. You see, I asked him to do something. I show him how to do things properly, so he won't have to need my help. I explain it like I'm speaking to a child. I do it about ten times per chore." You giggled at yourself. "Guess what. He doesn't do it. No matter how much I ask for, he either forgets, or doesn't do it at all."

Joohyun, for the first time ever since she has met you, felt bad for you. For the first time ever, Taeyong doubted her.

"I have no idea what to say, Y/N. It's not supposed to be like that. You're a duo after all."

"I don't think we're a duo, Joohyun."

For the rest of the night, Taeyong didn't give you attention, which you were thankful for. He got on your nerves enough. He was hanging out with his homeboys, enjoying himself, not worrying about you. In his mind, both of you have a perfect life. You are happy together, and you're madly in love. Maybe love is starting to be a too strong word for your feelings towards that man.

"Are you fine, Y/N?"

Doyoung smiled at you when you were sipping on a lemonade made by Johnny and Mark.

"I'm just tired after work and all this shit. And you? Are you fine?"

"It could be worse." He chuckled. "I see Taeyong isn't with you."

"Thank God. He's busy playing games."

"Still. I haven't seen you talking yet."

"We had a small fight before."

A reminder of that situation from before made you self conscious again. Your husband's words aren't supposed to make you feel the way they do.

"Was it serious or?"

"Not really. It was about my outfit, so nothing extreme."

"What do you mean by your outfit? You look stunning, I swear to God."

"Doyoung, can you be honest with him? We've known each other for almost ten years. We're friends." The man was busy thinking about what might come next out of your mouth. "Do I look bad? Be honest. Do I look worse than before? I don't know, am I not taking care of myself?"

It was a question directed at Doyoung because he was a person from a friend group that you've known for the longest. Actually, it was Doyoung who introduced you and Taeyong to each other. He knew him from high school, and he met you during the same classes at the business school. Kim Doyoung was a lovely nerd. Interested in Star Wars, books, and business. He used to collect plushies, he even gave you some of them. You always have wondered how Doyoung's world crushed with Taeyong's. Lee Taeyong was a popular jerk, interested in tattoos, rock, and trouble. For quite some time, you had a small crush on Doyoung. But then, you met Taeyong, and you fell head over heels over him.

"I don't see the point of this question. Isn't it obvious? Many guys from the department have a crush on you. I saw multiple strangers turn their necks when you passed by. You've always been pretty, Y/N."

"Now I feel better. Thank you, Doyie."

He was looking at you, once again, with his soft eyes. Sometimes, he wonders why you work him up so much.

"No problem. Remember, you're that girl. Don't let anyone say otherwise."

As you were about to respond, Taeyong showed up. He was drunk, and he could barely stand on his legs.

"Did you just call my wife pretty?"

"I did. We're friends, though. It's not that deep, Taeyong."

"I don't know, maybe you want to do something with her?" He was approaching you and Doyoung. Embarrassment fed your whole body as he got closer. "I don't like the way you talk to her."

"What's your fuckin problem, dude? I complimented her, since no one else bothers to do so. Like her husband, for example. Get it together, man."

You wish you could be gone for a second. Taeyong was drunk, and he had no clue what was going on.

"Shut the fuck up, Doyoung. You don't know shit."

"Calm down. You're wasted as fuck."

Everything that came after is now the past. The next thing you knew was Taeyong punching Doyoung straight into his nose. Blood was dripping on his shirt, and guys tried to grab him. You were shocked, and all you could do was scream at your husband. He was never that aggressive towards someone.

Jaehyun and Yuta were holding Taeyong, while Johnny and Haechan held Doyoung. Both males were calling each other names, while you wanted to disappear. Everyone was stunned. They had no idea such a storm was coming tonight. Best friends fighting over nothing.

"I'm leaving."

You got up, took your purse and coat, and left. Sooyoung called after you, but you were done for tonight. There was nothing you could do with your stupid husband. Leaving seemed like a good option.

"Get in." After a five-minute walk, a black Mercedes parked by your side. It wasn't your husband, though. "I won't let you go alone on a cold, dark night. Get in."

"You don't have to, Doyoung. I really -"

"I won't repeat myself."

Even after such a fucked up night, Doyoung had to be the one to take you home, not your husband. Does he even love you?

A week passed by, and nothing has changed. Both you and Taeyong would only see each other in the morning. Not even a simple "Hi" was exchanged. He was too embarrassed after what happened at Jaehyun's birthday.

"Y/N, we would love to move you a bit higher." Lee Sooman, your boss spoke to you. "We found your results to be the best out of the whole company. I want to promote you to a higher position and move you to the International Marketing department. Are you in?"

It was the day that would change your life the most. Working schedule was tighter, and you had to spend more hours weekly in the company. Chaeyoung was moved into the marketing department, so she was working with Taeyong. Everyone in the new floor was a stranger to you. These days, it's hard to find friends. Especially from work. Mark would always pass by your floor to say hello, though.

"Can I talk to Y/N?" Yuta's voice echoed through the office of the international marketing floor. "It's urgent and we need her. I'm from the Japanese unit."

Na Jaemin, your new co-worker, asked you to come. With a smile on, you saw Yuta waiting for you.

"What do you need, Yuta?"

"Are you the one who is in charge of France and Italy's orders?" You nodded at his words. "Well, I think that someone messed up and their orders came to Japan, and Japan's order came to France. Can you check it out with me?"

Both of you came to your desk and typed out the information about the order. Someone from the delivery unit must have mistaken the orders, that would have cost millions of dollars.

"I think you should call the international shipping floor, there's Seulgi. She may know what to do before the boss finds out."

When you were on your way back, Chaeyoung stopped you. She was smiling a bit.

"Can you help us, Y/N?"

It turns out that marketing and international marketing are supposed to make an ad together. You were picked as a person from the international floor, and Doyoung was picked from marketing.

"I'm glad I'm working with you, Doyoung."

"Me too. I would cry, if I had to work with Jeno or Xiaojun. They're a bit weird."

"I don't blame you." You laughed when you opened your laptop. "I think we should start today, and it would take about a week for us to finish. What's the theme of the ad?"

Doyoung took a look at his papers and then answered you.

"Youth. Progression. Victory."

"How the fuck are we supposed to do it?" In your head, you saw how much of a struggle this ad would be. "Any ideas?"

The time went by so fast, none of you noticed it was past 8 pm. Both of you got to work to make the best project you could ever do. Doyoung was a smart guy, and he knew exactly what to put in an ad to make it interesting.

While both of you were working, Taeyong didn't call you at all. You were supposed to be at home at 6, yet he didn't even care. He's probably still mad at you because of the fight.

"I'll drop you at home." Doyoung put his coat on, and looked at you to check if you're ready. "C'mon, Y/N."

"I feel bad. You're doing too much for me, Doyoung." It was truth, Doyoung didn't mind but to you it was wrong. Taeyong is supposed to help you, not his best friend. "Let me call Taeyong, he would pick me up."

"Waiting for his response, then."

It's ben almost 30 seconds and he didn't pick up. Another call. And another. Nothing. He wasn't going to pick up your calls tonight.

"I'm sorry. It's going to be the last time you're dropping me at home. For real."

Doyoung didn't answer but rather smiled at you. It was cute how much you didn't want to depend on him, but you did anyway.

Both of you were in a car talking about the details of the project when suddenly your stomach made a noise.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Lunch. Sandwiches."

"Y/N, it was at 1. It's 8. Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine." Another noise came from your stomach. "Okay, maybe a little."

"We're going to eat something. I'm hungry too."

When you were about to protest, Doyoung shushed you a bit. He parked by a restaurant next to the company. Both of you ordered the same thing and enjoyed the meal together inside.

"How much am I supposed to pay you back? I wasn't looking at the price."

"Don't worry, it's on me."

"Doyoung, I can't-"

"I said it's fine." He laughed. "Enjoy your meal and stop being so annoying."

It was the first time since you could've remembered when you were in a restaurant. The last time you were in a restaurant was with Taeyong on your birthday a few months ago. You couldn't explain why, but you felt the warmth you hadn't felt in a long time.

"Doyoung, I really want to thank you for everything you're doing for me." He stopped eating and focused on your words. "I have shitty time with my husband, work is getting on my nerves, and you're too nice to me'' It felt as almost you were crying. "You have no idea how much it does mean to me."

"Y/N, stop. I do it, and I'm not complaining at all. I like to spend time together, and it's not your fault that Taeyong is such an asshole. I wish he was a better husband. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally."

After that, your evening got better. Doyoung took you on a small car trip around Seoul. He showed you some streets you hadn't seen before. Deep down, he knew you didn't want to come back home as soon as possible. He parked for a minute by the Han River.

"It's an amazing place. I feel like I'm 17 again, me and my friends go on trips here to follow our crushes from school."

"I did the same thing with boys. Me, Yuta, and Taeyong with Jonny would be here every day after classes because of Taeyong." He was laughing at himself. "Because of him and Kang Seulgi, we were here every day for hours. He wanted to look at her and ask her out. It never worked though, because she left for some time, then we were in business school, and he was dating you."

Kang Seulgi? Seulgi from the delivery department? From you company? Taeyong had crush on her? Suddenly you felt lightheaded, your vision became blurry, and tears appeared on you eyes. You had to take a few deep breathes to calm down.

"I've never heard about Taeyong and Seulgi? Why?"

"Fuck. I wasn't supposed to tell you then." It was an accident. Doyoung believed you were aware of Taeyong's first love. "I shouldn't tell you. Sorry, Y/N."

"It's too late, can you tell me more?"

"I shouldn't. I already have said too much."

"Doyoung, please. Taeyong never told me about Seulgi. I had no idea about another girl."

You felt hurt a bit, not because you were jealous. You were hurt because Taeyong was probably lying to you for these years. Was he in love with a girl that got away? That's why he doesn't care. You're not the one Lee Taeyong loves.

"They were seeing each other for months. He always had a thing for her. She rejected him a few times because she was supposed to move to Daegu for some time." Doyoung was looking far ahead, he didn't dare to spare you a look. "Seulgi left, he was depressed for weeks, then I met you. I introduced both of you to each other." Boy, how much does he regret that. "He was focused on you, then Seulgi came back. I guess they tried to talk, but he was dating you already."

"Now it all makes sense to me. Fuckin asshole." You weren't even hurt anymore. It seems like all the feelings for Lee Taeyong are gone. Even hate. "We've been together for the past 8 years. I've focused on him. I was like a maid! He was never there for me when I needed him the most, but I forgave him. I always did. I did this all to find out he was never truly in love with me. Bullshit." A sarcasstic laugh left your mouth while Doyoung was observing you. "Why would you ever introduce him to me? I would've dodged the bullet, Doyie. I wish you didn't."

Doyoung felt guilty, even though he shouldn't. In his eyes, Taeyong was a good man. He was sure his friend was treating you like a princess.

"Sorry, I felt he would be a good party for you. I don't know. But you can't say he doesn't love you. You don't know that."

"I think we both know that."

Awkward silence occurred between you.

"Listen, I do believe you deserve better. Don't mind him, maybe one day he will see what he has lost. Look at you, Y/N. You can't get such an asshole like him to make you feel bad. I love him, he's my best friend, but you're my friend too. I wish you would be happier."

His words were true and meaningful. Doyoung was right. You deserve better than that. In the heat of a moment, you turned your head towards him and kissed him.

"Fuck, sorry. I shouldn't, I don't know what I was thinking-"

He stopped you with a kiss. Much stronger kiss. It was like your mouths knew each other well. As if they were missing pieces together. It's been a long time since you've been kissed.

Best friends don't kiss each other's partners, and a wife doesn't kiss her husband's best friend. That was the truth. It's been a few days, and it was awkward between you and Doyoung. Taeyong apologized to you, and he tried to be a better man for you. Somehow, you felt a bit guilty because you were married, but honestly? You wished to wake up to Doyoung every day instead of Taeyong.

"I made you breakfast."

Taeyong got into the bedroom with a plate of toast and scrambled eggs.

"Thank you."

"That's it?"

"What else am I supposed to say?" You popped your eyebrow. "I've done breakfast for you for the past 8 years, give me a break already. It's the bare minimum, Taeyong."

"I thought you'd be happy."

"I am. Okay?"

It's too late to fix things now. Breakfast in bed won't fix the damage that has already been done to you. Deep down, you wanted to feel guilty, but you just couldn't.

In the company, everyone was busy. It's April. One of the busiest months for the company. You had hopes of passing by Doyoung. Your project got accepted, whichh made your comapany's saels higher. Mark would drop by to talk shit about your co-workers. Johnny bought you a coffee, and Sooyoung called to go shopping with you. Everything should go fine.

About 7 pm, when the company was almost empty, you saw a well known to you figure. He was putting his things together, probably about to leave the building.

"Can we talk? Like adults, please? Ignoring each other won't turn back time, Doyoung."

"It's not the best time for this conversation, the building is about to close down."

"Then let's talk somewhere else. Even at the stupid bench in the park."

He took a second to rethink his life decisions.

"Let's talk at mine."

After 15 minutes, both of you arrived at Doyoung's apartment. It was located in the center of Seoul. It was maybe the fourth time you've ever been there.

"I know it's bad and awkward. I'm married to your best friend, and we kissed each other, making out even." You chuckled because of your nerves. "I shouldn't have kissed you, I guess. Sorry. But please, let's talk. I kinda miss you." He looked at you, a bit shocked. "As friends, of course."

"Well, I really want to say I regret kissing you. Really." He was pacing around the living room. "But it would be a lie. Honestly? I enjoyed it, and I would do it again, and again, and again. I don't give a fuck about Taeyong now."

His statement made you blush. He was confident in himself and sure of what he was saying.

"Fuck, me too. I know how wrong it is, but I can't help myself."

Nothing else needed to be said. Doyoung dropped everything he had held. He was kissing you like a starved man. As if he hadn't been able to see you for ages. It's a forbidden romance, and you're enjoying it.

Next thing you knew was you being in his bedroom. He was slowly kissing you down your neck, while his hands were taking off your clothes. Everything felt magical.

"Can I?" He asked with hungry eyes, his fingers on the hem of your pants. "Please?"

"Please."

It was the best sex you've ever had. Taeyong usually didn't pay you much attention. He wanted to cum and he could care less if you did. Doyoung paid attention to you, and only you. He was focused on making you feel good. He loved your body and moans you left out your mouth.

"You're amazing. I wish it was me who dated you back then." Doyoung was holding you in a spoon. His fingers were circling your shoulder. "I like you."

"I like you too."

Since then, it has become a routine for you. Taeyong wasn't suspicious of anything. He was busy working with Seulgi. He couldn't lie, but he preferred to stay at the company until late hours to finish tasks with her. He thought you were having fun with Joohyun or Sooyoung. You and Taeyong barely talk to each other, but none of you seem to mind. This marriage was meant to fail from the beginning.

"Y/N." Mark touched your shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?"

"What were you doing at Doyoung's apartment last night? I was there to drop him off his laptop, but I saw you coming in."

This question made your heart drop. Romance between you and Doyoung was supposed to be a secret until you'd be responsible enough to divorce Taeyong.

"We're friends? And co-workers? I was doing research with him." You giggled. "What are you even thinking of?"

"Fuck, sorry. I shouldn't have asked." He was a bit embarrassed. "You wouldn't do anything harmful to Taeyong. I thought you were doing something weird with Doyoung."

"Mark, please. How could you think about it?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen you talk in weeks. He's always around Seulgi, you're meeting with Doyoung a lot, and both of you leave at different hours." He was a bit confused. "Are you guys fine?"

"Yes, we are fine, Mark. Don't worry too much."

The thought of being almost caught scared you. Your friends wouldn't understand you. They would blame you for cheating on your lovely, hardworking, and amazing husband. Especially, if you're cheating on him with his best friend. You were lonely, and you lost feelings for Taeyong long ago, he himself probably had lost them first, a long time ago.

"I know." Joohyun's word made you stressed. "Taeyong called asking about you. I covered for you every single time. You're cheating on him, right?"

It was supposed to be a chill meeting at your apartment with a coffee and cake. Joohyun loved you as if you were her sister.

"Before we go any further, don't judge me, please." You couldn't look her in the eyes. "I'm ashamed of myself, but I think that's how it was meant to be. You don't understand how it is to be with Taeyong. How is it to be unloved and ignored."

"Y/N, I'm not judging you at all. Me and Johnny support you. At first, Johnny was furious, and he couldn't believe it." She chuckled. "I guess, me too. I wasn't ready. But look at this. After Taeyong? I really admire you, and how you were able to move on with life.

"I know I'm the worst person on earth because of that. I'm ashamed to face him and tell him I want a divorce."

"Well, it's not a surprise. It's a tough topic. Let me ask you another question. Is it Doyoung?"

"How do you know?"

"It's obvious. Every time we've been gathering together, he could never take his eyes off of you."

After that, Joohyun and Johnny promised you to keep a secret. They didn't support cheating, but they couldn't blame you. Everyone thought you were living a great life with Taeyong, only to turn out it was the total opposite.

"I'll divorce him."

Doyoung was sitting on the chair on his balcony with you on his lap. He was finishing his glass of wine. As soon as he heard that, his eyes met yours.

"Are you sure? I don't want to force you into anything." He said, slowly carrasing your back. "I fear that Taeyong won't forgive us. I may lose my best friend."

"At first, I thought the exact same thing." You kissed his cheek. "But now, I completely hate this guy. I lost my femininity, myself, and energy because of him. I can't look at him, because all I see is how much he hurt me and me cheating on him."

"I'm here. I'm going to support you no matter what."

Both you and Doyoung told your friends you needed to go on a trip to Jeju. You had the time of your life there. Taeyong was texting you once in a while. Doyoung made your life interesting. He gave you something Taeyong could never.

Dark nigths going on a walks on the beach. Singing songs in a karaoke bar or in your room. Doing stupid teenagers shit. Life with Doyoung was different. You felt loved.

Joohyun invited everyone from the friend group to a BBQ. It was a usual Friday. Mark was in charge of drinks with Jungwoo. Johnny was in charge of the music. Taeyong was busy with his phone, while you and Doyoung cut fruits like Joohyun asked you to.

It should be a peaceful night. Only if Seulgi didn't show up. After she came, the atmosphere tensed. Jaehyun felt uncomfortable, so did Yuta and Taeil. You tried to ignore it, but Seulgi was all on Taeyong. In public. In front of everyone's eyes.

"Why is she here?"

"I don't know. Joohyun probably invited her." Doyoung sipped on his drink. "That's wild."

"It is. That's why I hate him. Look how shameless he is."

After some time, everyone was busy with something. Some were dancing, and some were singing old hits. You were on the coach, looking at your friends having fun.

"How are you, Y/N?" Jaehyun and Jungwoo sat down on both sides of you. "We saw you're sitting like a potato here."

"I'm not drunk enough to go up and dance."

"Then drink more!" Jungwoo handed you another drink. "We're having fun tonight!"

"Exactly. You can't be depressed or something."

They were right. Soon after, you had almost five different drinks, most of them being mixed with vodka. You were dancing with the girls, then with Yuta and Doyoung. You really had a lot of fun. Until Taeyong turned the music off.

"Everyone! Can I take a second of your time?" Everyone was confused. Your heartbeat was faster, and your hands started to sweat. "I'd like to share the wonderful news with you!" He was drunk. Drunk like on Jaehyun's birthday. It means trouble. "I don't know if any of you are aware of me and Y/N. My lovely wife."

You were quick to stand up and grab Taeyong.

"Let's go. Get yourself together you're embarrassing me."

"Let me go." He got out of your hold. "As you know, we've been married for 8 years! That's a long period, right? Well, I think someone might get bored of one another."

"Taeyong, please. Stop it."

Tears came into your eyes quickly. Everyone witnessing the scene was confused. Joohyun was fast to send Johnny to get Taeyong somewhere else.

"Johnny, leave me alone! I'd like to share something with you! Our lovely, sweet, and faithful Y/N is a cheating bitch! That's right!" He was laughing devilishly, while you were on a verge of a breakdown. "Isn't it crazy? We all think about her as of an angel. Look at her. She's not all that."

"I don't think you should do it, man." Jaehyun tried to get Taeyong's attention, but he wasn't listening.

"I should. My wife is fucking my best friend, and I should stay quiet? No way! Tell us, Y/N, how long have you been fuckin Doyoung?"

People left gasps. They all turned their heads towards you. Johnny and Joohyun felt anger. He should never done this to you in a public.

"Let her go, man. I'm not kidding." Doyoung stood up and pushed Taeyong. "Are you crazy? Did you forget about fuckin Seulgi? You're not saint after all."

It felt like a nightmare. Everything was going so fast, and you could only stand there shocked.

"I was faithful to her for the longest time ever! And look how did she pay me back."

"Don't be funny, Taeyong." You managed to say it, while wiping the tears away. "How can you do this to me? After what I've done to you. I never told anyone how much of a burden living with you was! Not even once! I was there with you when I was doing every chore for you! Every little thing you needed! I let you fuck me when I wasn't in the mood, because I cared about you!" You were screaming on top of your lungs. "Y'all can judge me. You can throw names at me, I don't care! I've never been happier. None of you understand what I went through."

Your friends were in shock. They never would guess what was coming. You and Taeyong fighting in the Johnny's backyard with a people around. All the dirty things you've ever done were mentioned.

"Don't act like a victim."

"Am I not? You were using me for everything. I lost my will to live, Taeyong. You're a selfish motherfucker, who had never loved me. You've been in love with Seulgi since the beginning. You lied to me, ruined my life and I wasted all those years."

"I want a divorce."

"Me too. I hate you, Taeyong."

With that, all your group friends were confused. Joohyun, Johnny, and Doyoung gave you support. Taeil and Sooyoung reached out to you too. Mark,Haechan, Yuta and Jungwoo were confused about what to do. Jaehyun had no idea what to think, until Johnny changed his mind. They were uncomfortable with everything that'd been said that day.

Taeyong blocked your number, packed your things, and threw you out of your shared apartment. You had no choice but to move in with Doyoung.

"I love you, Y/N. I think I always did."

"I wish I had married you first." Both of you chuckled on the way to the court. "Imagine what we would have done in these years. I'm grateful we have so much to explore about each other."

Doyoung never let you down, or doubted you, or your trust. He gave you loved, you were craving for. He was a missing puzzle to your life. He helped you understand yourself, and improve yourself.

"Mr. and Mrs. Lee, oficially you've been divorced. Mrs. Y/N, succesfuly, you dropped Lee from your last name. I wish both of you happines on a new life's path."

It would be the end of the chapter titled Taeyong, now you're beinning a new one with your true love.

[imnayeonjaem]

ateez as oddly specific times of the day.

minors dni. ageless blogs dni. blank blogs dni. you'll be blocked.

a/n: this is just a random idea that suddenly popped into my head. i like abstract concepts lmao lmk what you think! all times in 24hr clock, not season specific, just vibes.

kim hongjoong - 00:00

the transition from one day to the next. the night owl urge to stay awake with the early bird desire to wake up at 6am. where everything feels its most still, its most silent. the liminal space between night and morning.

park seonghwa - 09:32

just in time to grab your coffee. boarding the train at the last second. feeling a productive day ahead. the unsung bliss of rush hour, caught in the midst of the morning buzz. the gentle breeze and the sun peeking through the windows.

jeong yunho - 15:26

the last hurrah of lunch break. eating outside at the local bistro. people watching and making small talk. laughing over smoothies and taking in the sights of everyday life. petting the dog that passes by. smiling to the owner who smiles back.

kang yeosang - 02:56

whispered words into the open space. cups of tea and a heart to heart. reminiscing about the past. not caring to look at the time. quiet laughter and warm smiles. the first yawn, a sign it's now time for you to go to bed. feelings of closure. everything is okay.

choi san - 22:34

bright lights and night life. music pulsing through the walls of every club. restaurants packed with people. traffic on the highway. singing loudly without a care in the world. beating hearts, lots of energy. never slowing down, never getting tired.

song mingi - 11:11

a moment for yourself. a chance to reflect. headphones on, hands in pockets, walking down the street with your favourite playlist on. everyone's a blur, and you're at the centre. deep breaths, no destination, no worries.

jung wooyoung - 20:45

the last bus home. rain hitting the window. sitting at the back, earbuds in, soothing music to calm your stresses. tired from the day, knowing tomorrow is a new one. leaving the bus and heading home. changing into your pjs. watching a movie.

choi jongho - 08:00

an early start. strict routine. breakfast, skincare, coffee. reading and replying to emails. thriving in the mundane. taking care of yourself. cleaning the house and reorganising your things. wearing your favourite shirt. talking to your friends.

× silverdune (ave). do not repost. ×

[lueurjun]

@jakewife i hope you enjoy my love. let’s hope i get this one right the first time lmao ehshsjs you didn’t specify a trope so i just winged it—it turned out much longer than i anticipated

hufflepuff bf jake x slytherin reader.

right off the bat: slytherin x hufflepuff quidditch rivalry trope

elite enemies to lovers ( sorta ) trope. sorry not sorry i love it so much

jake gives sporty, friendly jock type. the one that is so popular and loved by everyone just because of how nice and cool he is without even trying

and you’re kinda giving nice but stern, oliver wood level quidditch obsession who lives, breathes and eats victory

iconic if you ask me

it’s never just a ‘friendly’ match when hufflepuff is against slytherin

it’s personal beef between you and jake

well. you

jake thinks it’s just the type of friendship you guys have

but you absolutely despise him and live to crush every single one of his dreams on that broomstick of yours

well, at least you think you do

your friends are convinced there’s something else that makes you so invested in jake

but you’re more than sure that it’s just because you dislike how cocky he is and want to dominate hufflepuff at quidditch

‘our match against hufflepuffs. we have to beat them or else life is worthless’

‘don’t we play ravenclaw first?”

‘NO ONE CARES ABOUT RAVENCLAW THIS IS ABOUT HUFFLEPUFF AND THE GOOD FOR NOTHING GOBLIN THEY CALL A CAPTAIN! HE’S A TERRIBLE PERSON’

you almost snap your broom, the mere mention of him gets you riled up

meanwhile, jake is just skipping around campus complimenting people like there’s no tomorrow

‘yo! is that a new tie? it brings out your eyes”

such a terrible person. honestly deserves a cell in azkaban

you don’t completely know why jake gets you so mad

more often than not you tell yourself that it’s just because jake burns your pride

he’s very good at quidditch, and sometimes, you feel like maybes he’s better than you

which you hate because you excel at the sport and it’s the one thing you love most in the world

and knowing he might be better burns. so you take it and turn it into sheer hatred for him

but you don’t really hate him at all

and you realise that when you watch him hit the ground during hufflepuff’s match against gryffindor

the game stops but you’re already on the field before the players realize what happened

‘jake? jake? can you hear me? Oh heavens—’

‘i’m in heaven? can you send one of your other angels down there to tell my angel, their name is y/n, that i really liked them?’

then he passes out?

and you’re just like???

did he just call you his angel?

WAIT DID HE JUST SAY HE LIKES YOU??

you don’t know when it happened but at some point, you’re pulled back by one of the teachers to let the other teachers have a look at him

and you’re just out of it so you don’t have any idea what’s going on

finally after jake’s been removed from the pitch one of your friends pull you away since it’s started to rain

‘you were on the pitch before anyone even realized jake was hurt…’

your friend is smirking, half expecting you to hit them over the head

but you don’t

‘i think i might like jake’

now that’s not what they were expecting

‘and i think he likes me too’

your entire friend group makes a massive scene of applauding and hooting, ‘it’s about time’

but you’re too focused on what happened back on the field

then you find yourself standing up and heading out of the great hall, your friends fading into the background as you rush to the hospital wing

jake is awake when you arrive and he beams at the sight of you

‘y/n! it’s good to see you, i like your hai—“

‘do you like me. yes or no.’

primary school crush core ^

jake’s taken back by your sudden question

but after a few minutes, he slowly nods his head

you weren’t actually expecting him to nod, so you stand there unsure of what to do

‘right then… i think i like you back’

nice

totally romantic

rom com confessions could never

jake grins — though he’s in a lot of pain so you can’t actually tell whether he’s grinning or grimacing

either way, a win is a win. you’re both now in like

DATING HUFFLEPUFF JAKE

after the awkward but kinda sweet confession in the hospital wing, the two of you decide that normal people start dating from then on

so that’s what happens

he leaves the hospital wing with a broken arm but he’s got you on his good one so he takes that as a win

everyone is flabbergasted when you rock up to the great hall holding his hand

all of your friends are exchanging money with jakes friends. turns out they had secret bets on how long it would take before the two of you finally got together

you’re not a pda person so hand holding or a quick cheek kiss is as far as you’re willing to go in public

‘can i at least peck your lip-’

‘put those lips near me whilst we’re in a public space and i will hex you’

hex him out of like, you like the boy too damn much to ever hurt him

you’d dive in front of a killing curse before you’d ever point one at him

but the threat still stands

in private though, you’re all over him

makeout sessions in the restricted section after jake charmed his way into getting a free pass for it

though peeves the ghost has horrible timing and tends to pop up to piss you both off

so you settle for myrtles bathroom

her crying is easy to drown out when you have jake sim’s lips all over you

him admiring you from across the room

you not so subtly biting your lip when he gets all smart in lesson and starts answering questions correctly

‘seriously? him being a smart arse is what gets you going?’

‘shut up jay, at least he has more brain cells than you’

that sure did hush jay up but not without him jabbing you with his elbow

jake sneaking into the slytherin dorms for cuddles

the next morning the two of you are late to lesson and end up showing up in each others uniform

‘mr sim. i don’t recall you being placed in slytherin.’

Mcgonagall peers down at jake’s green and silver tie and then shifts her gaze to you where you’re now looking down at your own which is yellow and black

she almost smirks when she sees you hide your face behind your book

the class whistles and hoots teasingly which only makes matters worse

the funny thing is… it’s not the first time that’s happened and it most certainly won’t be the last

the quidditch rivalry never fades

‘good luck kiss?’

‘eat grass, sim. i’m about to obliterate your entire team they won’t even see it coming!’

you aggressively push past him leaving him standing there dumbfounded

and then you run back with a sheepish smile

‘with love, it’s all with love. i love you! good luck!’

then you kiss him and run back to the slytherin locker rooms, totally unaware of what you just said

it doesn’t click until the game has already started and suddenly you’re mid air freaking out on your damn broom

‘yo slytherin angel! get your head in the game!’

it’s jake and that causes you to freak out more

which he realizes AND THEN HE GRINS

‘by the way, i love you too but if you don’t get your head in the game and play like the champion i know you are, i’ll break up with you’

damn. you’re a flustered mess on your broom because that really gets you

so you play like your life depends on it

it was a close match but slytherin wins

‘so… you love me, huh?’ jake rocks back and forth on his heels with a cheeky grin

you nod ‘and i recall, you called me a champion?’

‘seriously? we’re talking about a huge step in our relationship and you’re hung up on the fact that i called you a champion?’

of course you are

it fuelled your ego

you’re so high on adrenaline that you don’t care that you’re in the middle of the quidditch pitch

dropping your precious broom, you grab jake by his collar and pull him in for a much deserved kiss

the stadium explodes with cheers but you can’t find it in you to feel embarrassed

‘i love you, my favourite champion’

oh, jake sim. he really knows how to make you putty in his hands

[messrmoonyy]

Touch

Tess Servopoulos x fem!reader

Prompt ( summarised ) - at the start when we first meet her and she's been jumped by Robert and his people, when tess comes home to find the reader pleasuring herself, Tess just like leans against the doorway watching and reader notices that Tess is there but keeps going but Tess tells her to stop. Tess teases/ keeps denying her orgasm. Also Joel ( who lives next door ) ends up bashing on the wall cause they’re being too loud.

Also paired with the prompt: ‘ I need Tess to tie me up and go town and be a little bit mean . I’m begging you write something like that ‘ because it just sort of happened lmao

A/N- anon. Angel. Let’s fuckin go. This is your one way ticket to horny jail, off you go. I just… I really don’t know what to say about this one. I was blushing writing this.. I did for the most part have game Tess in my head writing this. But I’ve told you all before you can imagine Whichever tess you want to ✨ anyway my loves. Enjoy

Warnings: 18+ || Tess, smut. Like. It’s just porn with not an ounce of plot. Smut: oral ( reader receiving ), fingering ( reader receiving) light dom/sub roles, orgasm denial, edging, overstimulation, light exhibitionism/ voyeurism, Tess and her praise, tasting yourself, use of handcuffs, reader is low-key a brat, mildly degrading, Tess is boobs over ass woman so, I think that’s all lmao holy shit.

Word count: 5.4k

Masterlist - requests for the last of us are open!

Comments and re blogs are always appreciated! <3

It had been a shit day. Truly. You had been on one of the most boring work assignments, it had pissed it down with rain and you’d forgotten your jacket, the FEDRA asshole who’d been in charge of your group had been a dick and let you all go late and you’d missed ration pickup, so now you’d have to go tomorrow morning. And to round it all off, Tess was no where to be fucking seen.

Your girlfriend did have quite the habit of vanishing for longer than intended, so it didn’t worry you. It just pissed you off. When she got into those bad moods where she felt she could take over the entire world single handed, taking on drop offs that were far more efficient if she took you or Joel with her, and winding up making things harder for herself. Which clearly was what had happened yesterday. You hadn’t seen her for a good 24 hours now. In fact it was probably more than that.

Which was annoying. Cause you were wound too tight. Stressed. And you needed to blow off some steam, which Tess was always more than willing to assist you with. Yelling at each other for a bit before she grew tired of it and pinned you against whatever flat surface was closest. It worked every. Single. Time. You knew how to piss her off just enough to push her buttons the right way.

You hoped she’d be home waiting for you if you were honest, some excuse about how she got wind of someone trying to steal your shit or whatever. But you returned home to an apartment that was as empty as it was when you’d left.

You stripped yourself of your rain soaked clothes, tossing them in the general direction of the sink to wash later, and flopped down on your bed in your underwear with a sigh. Maybe the clothes on the floor would piss her off when she came in and that would push her buttons wonderfully.

You always knew the right ways to wind her up and push her in a way that you knew she wasn’t really angry with you, but pissed off enough to put you in your place. She’d always been one to keep you in line, even back when you’d first met her and her reputation wasn’t even close to what it was now.

Your mind drifted off to her completely, closing your eyes and remembering that day you had met her. It had been a good one. One that made it almost okay that you were living in a total shit hole.

The absolute annihilation of life as you’d known it did have some benefits you supposed. Yes. It was a shit hole. But if the world hadn’t fallen apart you’d never have even met Tess. And you had long ago decided that it’d be impossible to live life without her.

No one could eat pussy like her for a start.

The thought of that actually made a smirk tug at your lips and you found your stressed mind drifting again. You were quite certain you could get off just looking at her, in fact you knew you could. You’d done it before. Just watching. Imagining. You had every detail of her saved to memory. Every scar and mole, how her strong arms looked when she was hovering above you, how those long fingers felt when they curled inside of you…

Your hand slipped down your body and into your underwear, sighing dreamily as you began circling your clit with the image of her still flashing on the inside of your eyelids. You weren’t in any particular mood to drag it out, needing the sweet muscle easing release a orgasm would give you, so you sped up your movements. Also because Tess wasn’t particularly thrilled at the idea of you touching yourself without her. And who knew when she’d get home. You chewed on your bottom lip in some attempt to be quiet, but you always had been the more vocal one.

A moan slipped past your lips, your hips lifting up from the mattress slightly as you chased the sweet relief you so desperately wanted. Your mind supplied you with motivation, memories trickling down behind your closed eyes like your own personal peep show. The memories of how her lips felt against your skin, how her fingers felt.

You’d seen those hands do terrible things. Yet be incredibly gentle with you. It only served as more motivation for you, maybe it was knowing she could have anyone she wanted really. Yet she wanted you. Hands that had killed for you that could also have your brain floating and your bones turning to jelly.

You were completely consumed by the images in your head, the tightening of the knot in your belly as it built up and up and up. Not even really imagining anything particularly sexual, just the image of her was enough. She’d made you get off in front of her countless times, sometimes not even giving you vocal motivation. It wasn’t hard.

In fact you often wondered how anyone could possibly be in such a situation and not be able to just come on the spot by having her eyes on them. How did people walk around her every day and not have the raving urge to just jump her every second? Had they seen her? You were completely convinced there wasn’t a single person that could compete with her.

One hand came up to grab at your tit, squeezing and pinching at your nipple in the way she was always so obsessed with, squirming and moaning like you’d not been touched for weeks. When in reality it had only been a day. But you were obsessed. Addicted. And who were you to deny the beautiful woman that was so fixated on having her head between your thighs at any given moment?

You were too preoccupied to hear the door open right away, to hear Tess finally arriving home. In fact you weren’t entirely sure how long she’d been stood there when you opened your eyes, some odd feeling that you were being watched. Which you were.

Tess was stood leaning back against the door, arms folded over her chest and watching you intently. The room was a little too dark to see her totally clear, nightfall less than an hour away so the bright sunlight no longer served as the natural light in the room.

She didn’t say anything right away. Didn’t move. And you took that as motivation to keep going, squirming around under your own touch and watching her carefully. The only sound in the room that of your breathy moans and the lewd wet sound your fingers were making.

You weren’t above begging for her and you almost did, needing her to get you over that edge instead of yourself. But she seemed to be enjoying the view.

You let another moan tumble past your lips, fingers picking up speed as they attempted to find more friction on your slick cunt, desperate now to come with her watching you.

But she clearly had other ideas. Speaking and bringing you to a halt right as you were going to slip over the edge.

“ having fun? “ the sound of her voice alone drew another moan from deep in your chest, the way she spoke always so sultry and the slight twang her accent gave her words. It made heat pool in your belly every time. She finally stepped away from the door, tutting and shaking her head “ without me? “ she strode across the room in slow purposeful strides, like an animal hunting it’s prey, eyes not leaving you even once.

“ well you’ve been away haven’t you. What else was I supposed to do? “ you said, voice slightly breathless. She knelt a knee on the bed , slowly leaning down over you. You immediately noticed the state of her face. A busted lip. A black eye. She clearly noted the change in your face and placed a finger to your lips “ don’t “

“ Tess- “

“ I said. Don’t. We can talk about my face later “ you went to protest further, wanting to know who the fuck had laid a hand on her and grab a gun and take them out yourself. But the way she raised her eyebrow at you made you snap your mouth shut again “ thats a good girl “ her eyes trailed down over your body beneath her, slowly taking you in with a smirk on her face, her hand sliding over your waist “ missed me that much? “

“ where were you? “ she simply shrugged and dropped her head, trailing kisses across your jaw “ Tess- “

“ no questions “ she said and nipped a little harshly at your skin as if to prove the point she did not want to talk about it “ what were you thinking about? “ she asked, her hand beginning to wander more as she climbed fully onto the bed. Her touch so soft and gentle, hands that you had seen beat people to a bloody mess, yet so tender when it came to you. It made goosebumps rise in her fingers wake “ I asked you a question “

“ you “ you sighed, floating on the feeling of her fingers dancing over your skin.

“ keep talking “

“ just… just you. All I ever have to think about is you “ her fingers had hooked into the waistband of your underwear and it short circuited your brain “ god I need you so bad “

“ miss me that much? “ you nodded, your breath hitching as her hand moved back up, slipping around your back to unhook your bra “ maybe I should get locked up by FEDRA more often if this is the pretty sight I’ll come home to “ Her eyes dragged down your body in a way that wasn’t even remotely subtle, as she stripped you of your bra. She dropped it off the side of the bed, her tongue darting out lightly to wet her lips as she looked at you “ I missed you too “ she added, eyes focussed intently on the way your chest was still littered in fading purple bruises from the other day “ this won’t do “ she mumbled seemingly more to herself than you.

Your brow furrowed in confusion and she dropped her head, leaving wet, soft kisses to the fading marks. Her teeth nipping and nibbling at the skin to bruise you again, clearly not liking the fact that her evident mark of her ownership was fading away.

“ missed my tits more like “ you said with a breathy laugh, eyes fluttering closed as she nipped at the swell of your breast, leaving another deep purple mark in her wake and looking up at you as she captured a nipple in her mouth.

“ tomato tomahto “ she mumbled, preoccupied with rolling the nipple that wasn’t currently between her teeth, between her fingers. You arched into her, a hand slipping into her hair and twisting into the dark locks “ hands to yourself “ she said lowly, detaching herself from you with a mildly obscene, wet, popping sound. You whined at the loss of contact and she simply smiled at you “ you know the fuckin rules by now pretty girl “ you huffed in annoyance and it just made her smile more.

“ you’re mean “

“ and you’re disobedient “ to your dismay she got up from the bed, shivering slightly at the loss of her body heat “ can’t keep your hands to yourself” she said with a disappointed sigh, folding her arms across her chest “ do you ever do as your told, hmm? No “ You propped yourself up on your elbows and watched her as she rounded the bed, rummaging around in the side table. And your brain clicked onto what she was doing.

“ Tess- “

“ shh “ you watched her pull the pair of handcuffs from the back of the drawer, and place the key onto the side table by the lamp. She’d stolen them last year and you’d been more than willing to let her use them on you. But it had been a few months since the last time. Your brain went foggy just at the memory. How she’d tortured you for hours, edging you over and over again. And something told you that was exactly what she had in store for you again.

She walked back around to the end of the bed and beckoned you forward with her fingers. You complied immediately, crawling over to her and kneeling in front of where she stood. She tapped her fingers under your chin, making you look up at her.

“ I specifically remember telling you not to fuckin touch yourself without my permission. Do you know what happens to little brats that can’t keep their hands to themselves? Hmm? “ her voice was incredibly gentle, as was the hold she had on you, such a stark contrast to the words she was saying “ I thought you were better than this baby “

“ I’m sorry- I just- I was- “ you sighed, her eye contact too intense for you to form a full sentence. Tess pulled a face of mock pity and sighed deeply.

“ being a brat “ she finished your sentence for you and tutted in disappointment “ lay down “ you did as you were told without question, laying back and raising your hands in some attempt to get back in her good books, a picture perfect image of submission.

She smiled as she rounded the bed taking your hands gently in hers, circling your wrists with the cool metal of the cuffs. She looped them though the bars of the headboard, securing the other around your wrist and tugging gently.

“ too tight? “ she asked quietly.

“ no “

“ atta girl “ She was looking at you like she wanted to eat you alive, to completely and utterly devour you. A predator that finally had its prey stuck in a trap. It made you feel vulnerable, like you wanted to curl in on yourself and regret ever even thinking about touching yourself without her there “ are you gonna be good for me? “ her eyes trailed down your body, a smug smile on her face. You watched her as she stood at the foot of the bed again, you squirmed under her intense gaze. You knew she was going to drag this out, not in any kind of rush to touch you. She reached for the buttons of her shirt and you were in a trance, watching her fingers as she slowly undid her shirt“ I asked you a question “

“ I- I- “ your brain shut down at the sight of her there, how were you supposed to even think straight? Never mind form a full sentence when she was stood there stripping out of her clothes.

She stood there in her tank top and jeans, simply the sight of her strong arms alone making your mouth water. The way her nipples were peeking though the tight material from the cold, you were like a feral animal in heat. She raised an eyebrow , hands holding the bottom of her tank “ Tess I- fuck “

“ that’s not an answer “ She pulled the tank over her head and a whimper left your mouth at the sight. You pulled at the restraints, desperate to touch her, and it simply made her laugh. A low chuckle that was almost menacing. It made your cunt ache “ answer the fuckin question pretty girl “

“ yes I- fuck. Yes I’ll be good I’ll be so good please can I just- Tess “ your fingers were itching to grab at her, to kiss and lick every single inch of skin you could see. You’d drop to your knees and worship at her feet if that was what it took, you’d do anything just to be granted the honour.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away as she rid herself of her jeans too, joining you on the bed. Her hands ran over your legs before pushing them apart

“ Jesus fuck look at you “ she murmured, hands kneeding at the flesh of your thighs, your face flushed as she looked down at you. Awe in her eyes at the state you were in, the sticky mess covering your inner thighs “ you looked so pretty when I came in “ she said, dropping down and nipping at your inner thighs “ desperate to be fucked, like a bitch in fuckin heat “

“ I need you “ you whined, eyes still fixated on the woman between your legs. You didn’t know how all the terrible shit you’d done had granted you such a gift as being the one person Tess wanted, but Lord where you thankful for it.

“ of course you do, fuckin slut “ your back arched off the bed as the degrading name fell over you, mild embarrassment flushing your skin red at just how wet it made you when she said it “ don’t worry baby. I’m here now”

You choked on the whimper of her name as the flat of her tongue suddenly licked a long stripe up your cunt, eyes on you the entire time.

“ fuck- Tess “ you felt her smile against you, her hands pushing your legs up and out so she had as much access to you as possible. It was sudden and intense the way she practically devoured you, your already sensitive clit throbbing as her tongue flicked and circled the bundle of nerves with no mercy.

You tugged at your restraints for the millionth time, fingers itching to grab at her hair and keep her head there until you came on her tongue. You tried to clamp her head in place but she had a tight hold on your thighs.

“ stay still “ she murmured against you and you shook your head

“ cant. Feels so fuckin good “ she smirked, her thumb replacing her tongue circling your clit

“ I know baby, I know “ she lapped at your clenching hole like she was addicted, the wet sounds mixed with the noises she was drawing from your throat would’ve made you embarrassed if you weren’t so far gone already “ still waiting for you to tell me what you were thinking about baby “

“ you “ you gasped “ been thinking about you all fucking day. Don’t- don’t leave me that long again “ she huffed a laugh at that, detaching herself from you again which made you whine in annoyance.

“ I was only gone a day. You’re really that fuckin needy? You need this cunt fucked open every day huh? Is that what you need? “ you felt two of her fingers brush against your entrance and you waited with bated breath for her to finally fucking do it. You needed something more than the teasing of her tongue

“ yes. Yes. Please Tess “ her fingers slipped into you embarrassingly easy, wound up and ready for her for too long

“ you’re so wet holy shit. All for me “ you clenched around her fingers as she probed at the spot that made you see stars “ sound so pretty when you moan for me baby, let me hear you “ you brain was at a loss for words, completely and utterly consumed by the sensation of her tongue. Her fingers.

Her deft fingers were reaching all the right places, her tongue hot as it circled your clit in the most expert way. You’d never known someone who could eat pussy like her, like she would happily sit between your legs for days if she could. Never satisfied, never growing bored.

But also being incredibly fucking cruel.

Tess knew your body better than you did you were certain, knew every sound. Every movement. So it was no surprise that even with your restraint on not telling her you were so close to coming all over her tongue, she already knew. Recognised the way your cunt clamped down on her, the way your moans increased in pitch. And knew exactly when you were a mere second away from falling over the edge.

And that was the moment she was suddenly gone, fingers withdrawing and lips detaching from your clit. The sound you let out was pathetic, a desperate cry as she starved you of your orgasm for the second time.

“ oh I’m sorry, did you need to come? “ her voice was dripping in sarcasm, a mock sense of pity on her face as she sat back to look at you “ you really think I’d let you off that easy? “

You wanted to be mad, and maybe a small part of you actually was. But your brain was too foggy, you couldn’t see through the haze of the barrage of pleasure she was providing. Even if she wasn’t fully satisfying your needs. You felt drunk, lost in the feeling of your arousal swirling in your stomach, the sultry sound of her voice, the pressure of her fingers.

You turned your head, hiding in the sheets not looking at her in some hope it might make you forget all about how badly you wanted to come.

“ let’s take these off now shall we “ you kept your face buried in the damp bedsheets, listening as she moved around, gentle hands on your arms as she unlocked the cuffs around your wrists. You heard her drop them on the side table before her hands gently rubbed at your wrists, dropping light kisses to where the metal had undoubtedly left your skin raw “ you’re doing so good baby, taking your punishment so well “ you hummed an answer into the sheets, trying to ignore the way your cunt ached desperatelyto come.

You were like jelly as she manoeuvred you again, laying beside you and trailing a hand lightly up your side.

You were almost scared she was done for the night, happy to just leave you unfulfilled and go to sleep. It wouldn’t be the first time.

To your relief she didn’t.

She urged you to look at her and you whimpered at the sight, her lips and chin glistening with the evidence of you.

“ Tess- “ she took advantage of your parted lips and kissed you, tasting yourself on her tongue. It made your skin flush with heat, some primal instinct of possessiveness clawing it’s way to the front of your mind. Tess, your Tess. Tess that so many wanted, Tess that could have anyone she wanted. But Tess that was in bed with you. That tasted of you. That was devoting all of her attention to torturing you. You had to force yourself not to come just at the thought.

“ I don’t think you deserve it yet “ she said lowly, barely an inch from your face , fingers gently gripping your jaw “ do you? “ Yes. Yes yes yes

“ no “ the word reluctantly left your lips, desperate to please her.

“ that’s right “ her lips were on your neck, sucking and nipping at the skin. You were going to look like you had a run in with a vampire tomorrow morning. But you knew she did it on purpose. Was obsessed with making sure people knew you were off limits. You were taken. You were hers. You were her toy to play with however she saw fit. You were not to be touched “ I think you can take a little more “

“ Tess “ you whined. She cooed pitifully, looking back at you again and brushing your hair away from your forehead.

“ you can take it. I know you can “ her hand trailed down your body, hand cupping your aching pussy lightly “ you’re being so good for me, I know you can last just a little bit longer for me. Cant you baby? You can keep going for me “ her fingers circled your entrance, gathering your slick on the pads of her fingers before withdrawing her hand again “ see? Look how wet you are. Look how needy “

You didn’t need to see the visual. You knew how wet you were, could feel the sticky mess you had made all over your thighs.

You whimpered as she slipped her fingers into her mouth, cleaning them of you with her eyes closed in bliss. It was filthy, so unbelievably erotic that it drew a moan from you, it tumbling past your lips before you could stop it. And it only made her smile. Her fingers dipped back down, bringing them back up glistening “ open your mouth “ you did as you were told, letting her slip her fingers into the warmth.

You didn’t need to be told you knew what she wanted. Your lips wrapped around her fingers, sucking her fingers clean, tongue sipping between the digits and swirling around them to ensure you got every drop “ good fucking girl “ she breathed out, watching you with an intense look of awe in her eyes “ wish you could see how you look right now “ you wrapped your fingers around her wrist, keeping her hand in place, sloppily sucking on her fingers in the most obscene way.

She was bewitched. Fixated on you as you behaved so depraved for her.

“ so pretty like this, nothing on your mind but me “ you nodded, too far gone to be even embarrassed now. She consumed you completely “ I want you like this all the time “ she murmured, head dropping and leaving open mouthed kisses across your neck “ dumb little slut, just thinking about me. Only me “ you nodded again “ say it”

“ Only you “ you whispered, her fingers leaving your mouth with a string of drool still attached to your lips

“ you’re mine. My perfect little toy huh?” You keened at her words, squeezing your thighs together for some kind of relief “ ah ah. Open “ she tapped your thigh and you reluctantly spread your legs for her again “ you’re doing so good don’t fuck it up now baby. In fact I think you deserve a reward dont you? “ you nodded rapidly, in some hopes you’d caught her having a suddenly forgiving streak.

Stupid.

“keep your legs nice and open for me baby... Good girl you got it “ her fingers swirled around your dripping entrance for a moment before plunging two fingers back in, right to the knuckle, the spot she had been abusing all night back under fire.

The sound that left your throat was animalistic. Desperation for some kind of relief and finally being mildly satiated again, clamping down on her fingers as they curled up over and over. She cooed a string of praise into your ear as she set herself at a steady pace, your moans high pitched and breathy as they tumbled from your mouth without a care.

You used to be shy about the amount of noise you made, but Tess adored it. Loved nothing more than hearing what she did to you or getting pleasure from forcing you to be quiet and watching you fail every single time.

“ do you know how fucking perfect you look right now? Fucking Christ“ you couldn’t process her words, your brain was mush. No longer yours. You were simply a puppet and Tess was pulling the strings, had every single ounce of control over you. And you loved it. She was bringing you to the edge again, your moans increasing in pitch and intensity with every curl of her fingers.

“ someone needs to quiet down a little bit “ she said before placing a hand over your mouth, eyes locked onto yours as she carefully added a third finger. You might as well have screamed into her hand, the moan that left you so loud, so indecent , that it could probably be heard on the other side of the zone. The stretch was intense, your muscles aching and clamping tightly around the intrusion of her fingers. She let you adjust for a moment and then was back to abusing that spot inside of you “ that’s my girl. You can take it. Take it for me “

Tears were prickling at your eyes, the entire situation boarding on becoming too intense.

“ eyes on me, look at me “ she tilted your face to look at her, holding your gaze intensely “ atta girl “ you whimpered quite pathetically as she curled her fingers up, hitting the same spot over and over in a torturous pace. The tears finally fell, rolling along your cheeks in a steady stream, so unbelievably desperate for her to just let you fucking come. How long had you both been at this? How long had she been bringing you to edge and then shoving you backwards again? Minutes? Hours?

you whined into her hand, not sure how much longer you could keep it up.

“ you’re doing so well “ you flushed at the praise, arching into her touch so the heel of her hand brushed against your sensitive clit “ you need to come don’t you? “ you nodded, burying your face in her neck, nails digging into her shoulder “ you want to come for me baby? “ she kissed away your tears in a way so tender, so different from the way she was brutally abusing your cunt still.

You nodded your head, starting to lose the energy to keep fighting it off any longer now.

“ tell me. Tell me how much you want it” she removed the hand covering your mouth, her eyes locked intensely on yours

“ need to come so bad. Please Tess. Please I can’t- cant do anymore- please. Please “

“ you sound so fuckin pretty when you beg for me “ she mused, her hand stalling for a moment as she gently pressed her thumb against your clit “ keep begging “ You rambled out a mostly incoherent attempt at begging, so unbelievably pathetic but you were way past caring now. She gently grabbed your hand and moved it down “ do you feel that? Feel how wet you are? Hmm? “

You didn’t need to touch, you knew. Could feel how damp the sheets were underneath you, could feel the way you were dripping all over yourself “ show me how much you want it “ you didn’t need telling twice, your fingers searching for friction against your slick clit as her fingers resumed their previous assault “ slower… slow. That’s it. We don’t want this over too quickly do we?”

You almost laughed. Quickly was not the word you’d have used. Not when she’d been denying you for so long now.

“ when I say, I want you to come. Do you understand me? “ you nodded your head, a fresh stream of tears leaving your eyes “ words baby. Let me hear your words “

“ yes “ you whispered, sobbing out another moan as she sped up her pace and you rubbed gentle circles into your clit like she’d told you to. The sopping sounds were obscene, you didn’t think you’d ever been so wet in your life.

To your relief she didn’t torture you for much longer and the words you wanted to hear finally left her lips.

“ come for me “ it was intense. Your entire body felt like it had been set alight, your orgasm smashing into you so suddenly and viciously. You were certain you were going to draw blood from how hard you were gripping at her arm, your head thrown back into the pillows and practically screaming as the thick tension that had been surrounding you all night finally shattered.

She talked you though it the entire time, fingers still working at you to make sure it lasted as long as humanly possible. Only stopping when you weakly pushed her hand away from you, over sensitive and spent. You felt like you were floating, melting into your bed with bones made of jelly.

“ Jesus fuckin Christ Tess! “ you startled from the post orgasm bliss too quickly for your liking, as Joel’s voice sounded through the wall, followed by a heavy bang of his fist. You both looked at each other before you burst into a breathless laughter, Tess looking at you with the biggest shit-eating grin you’d ever seen and placing a finger to your lips in some attempt to quiet you again. Even though she was laughing too.

“ I don’t know why he’s fucking yelling at me you’re the one being loud “ she peppered kisses across your face and you tried to clear the fog from your brain quite unsuccessfully.

“ holy shit Tess “ you whispered “ I- I- shit “ words failed you, brain still swimming in a puddle of bliss. She quietly dismissed herself with a kiss to your cheek and you whimpered at the loss of her next to you.

“ I’ll be right back you’re okay “ her voice had shifted to that sweet, gentle, caring tone only you got to hear. You stretched out your aching muscles, vaguely focussing on the sound of the tap turning on in the kitchen, before she returned to you.

She cleaned you up with gentle hands, whispering praise to you as she did. When she deemed you clean enough she shifted to lay behind you, some muttered excuse that she’d deal with the sheets in the morning. Her arms wrapping around you, the presence of her pressed against your back comforting. Familiar. Safe.

You could feel her warm breaths against your cheek, your body feeling heavy with exhaustion as she held you, your eyes already drifting closed.

[historia-vitae-magistras]

You got anymore fics or hc of Alfred being a good brother to his 8ft tall beanpole?

'tis garbage I wrote about 20 years ago and is poorly recycled but here! enjoy if you can lmao. TW for poorly written ptsd, references to beheading and axe murder and snuggles.

1920, Quebec City.

"I'm fine." His baby brother said, even as he looked like he desperately needed to lay down.

"Matt, that cough does not sound good,"

"It's fine," He said, stifling another fit with a harsh swallow. Alfred grimaced and jogged to keep up as Matt strode ahead on the rain-battered sidewalk and took the umbrella with him, like speeding up would disprove the implication he wasn't at perfect 100%. How could it sound like he'd been gassed recently?

"You sound miserable,"

"It's fine," Matthew said again, shrugging and knuckling his chest as he struggled to keep his breathing even. "It's just the weather. Tell me about the new Ford coming out,"

"Oh it's a beauty, they're even going to come out with other colours than black," Alfred said, longing to reach out and squeeze Matt's shoulder and steer him inside. "But it will mostly only affect internal market goods.

"Interesting. What are the implications with free trade?"

"Don't try to distract me. I know you don't give a shit about economic law unless you're being forced,"

"If it interests you, it interests me,"

"You can't force yourself to be quiet through this,"

Matt rolled his eyes. "I'm not dying,"

"You kind of sound like you are,"

"Then I'll die!" Matt shrugged and gave one of his rare, frustrated Gallic shrugs. "C'est la vie! And honestly, it'd be nice to sleep without waking up coughing. Wake up and go to work tomorrow with more than an hour of sleep behind me,"

Alfred frowned, a surge of helplessness as he watched Matt press on through the rain as if determined to outpace whatever was wrong. Alfred lengthened his stride to keep up and get back under the umbrella, snatching it from Matt’s hand to make him slow down.

“Come on,” He said, steering them both down the path towards the subway stop.

Halfway down the park hill, he couldn't stifle anymore and ended up clinging to a tree branch, doubled over and coughing so hard veins corded at his forehead and throat and when he breathed, he shuddered through another bout so hard Alfred thought he was going to throw up all over the park path. He sucked in air and the wheeze that accompanied it was so horrific Alfred grabbed his shoulders and steered him to a bench as Matthew tried to get his breathe. Air coming in and out rapidly and almost uselessly like Matt was breathing through shredded black smiths billows. Alfred pulled him upright.

Two neatly dressed couples threw them dirty looks like Matt was some infectious consumptive polluting a public park. Alfred glowered right back. He might have flirted with the one who’s dainty green dress that was fashionably short to show off shapely legs but now he was just frustrated.

"Go fuck off to the circus if you want to gawk at something!" He yelled and the men sped along, dragging the women with them. Matt made another face gesturing for Alfred to stop but couldn't get words out as coughing wracked him all over again.

It was another five minutes of Matt coughing and coughing and coughing before he stopped and collapsed on Alfred's shoulder, heaving.

"Jesus Christ, Matt," Alfred said. “You sound like you’re dying.

"I’m not—" Matt heaved air, it caught in his throat and he hacked out another pounding cough that left him spasming and shivering against Alfred. "It comes and goes,"

"Are you sure it's not consumption?"

"Yeah, Dad made them x-ray me three times during demobilization, I'm just like this now,"

"What? Chronically asthmatic?"

Matt shook his head. "I’m not chronically anything. It’s just a bad day every now and and again."

"Is that what doctors say?"

Matt nodded and leaned more heavily onto him, panting again.

"You're burning up," Alfred could feel it against his coat. “Mattie…”

Another nod. “Like I said, it comes and goes.”

He sighed, getting them to their feet. “Christ, Matt.”

“Oh, don’t look so sad.” Matt rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, the supply of your favourite whiskey isn’t about to dry up.”

“Is that what you think? Fuck you.” Alfred scowled. “You’re such a–” Realization dawned on him and he turned to his brother, grabbing his shoulder again. “You little shit. You’re trying to piss me off so I leave this alone, aren’t you?”

Matt blinked, taken aback. “Fuck me, you finally figured that one out?”

“You little asshole,” He laughed. “That is so manipulative.”

“Hardly. You’re so self righteous usually all I have to do is mention Dad and you’ll leave me alone for a month. What is this? Character development?” He laughed, and the coughing started again.

This time, Matt didn’t argue when Alfred insisted they go home. The grey stone heart of his brother’s first city, into the stone houses behind the stone walls the English and the Americans had besieged more than once. Behind slate walls, warm wood greeted them as they passed through the red door with the same iron hinges, squashed between what had once been the apothecary and the bakery. Matt had once been stingy with the firewood but now he had electricity and the coal fired boiler in the basement that heated the house beyond the parlour with its polished brass fire grate and brick hearth.

"Sit," Matth said as he leaned against the wall. He threw aside his damp coat and propped himself against the worn wood. Scrubbing his damp hair off his forehead, he sighed. "I guess I should make coffee and sandwiches or something."

“Will you bite my head off if I offer to make something?” Alfred asked, cautiously toeing off his shoes.

Matt gave a wry sort of look, almost amused. “No.”

“Hallelujah.” Alfred replied, throwing his hands above his head.

“Don’t push it.” Matt said but his face was light.

Alfred chuckled and headed to the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets, with all the fine little details of grapevines heavy with fruit and swirling knotwork that reminded him of Aunt Brighid’s embroidery. He thumbed one and wished she was there. She wouldn’t put up with this. He put on water to boil, dug a slightly dessicated chicken carcass out of the fridge, tore it apart to make sandwiches, put the bones on to make soup and returned to the living room with a mug and a plate for each of them.

Matt was sprawled on sofa, his face pink. Alfred didn’t want to wake him up, they both spent so much time ignoring the other’s nightmares these days. He still looked like Matt when he was asleep, sweet and still, like the man the cherubic baby Matt should have grown into rather than the wraith that had to shake off their father or the trenches. But he was feverish and Alfred made himself wake him.

“Here,” He said, handing Matt tea and the sandwich.

“Thanks.” Matt said quietly. He drank the tea eagerly but set the plate down next to him.

“Eat that.” Alfred said, taking a bite out of his own and throwing himself onto the leather chair. “You always do this when you’re sick. Don’t want to eat, don’t want to bother anyone, don’t want to admit you feel like ass. Just like Dad. It’s fucking annoying.”

“No one said you have to be here.” Matt glared, but he had picked up the sandwich and taken a decent bite. “Happy?”

“Never happy when you’re miserable.”

Matt snorted. “Oh, that’s bullshit.”

“Stop.” Alfred sat forward, hands on each of the chair’s arms. “Stop, okay? God. I know you’re–”

“Know I’m what?” Matt took another bite of the stupid sandwich and there was a flash of something flinty and dark behind his eyes Alfred didn’t like.

“Like how you always are after a war,”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means you get good at killing and keeping everyone alive and–”

“And what?” Matt said.

“You get shit at everything anything else.” Alfred desperately wanted a cigarette but it felt a bit cruel. “Bring back Gilbert’s head like some sort of fucked up barn cat, sure, you’re great at that. But lay down and act like a human being? God forbid.”

“Oh don’t you–” Matt sighed through his nose and ate more, and too Alfred’s bewilderment, smiled. “You know how often I tell Dad something like that?”

Alfred stared, but leaned back, holding his coffee. “You back talk the old man?”

“Bringing Gilbert’s head back like a fucked up barn cat gave me some leeway.” Matt said, the sly smile on his face fading into something more serious. “But yeah. By the end, by the hundred days, we talked. About what I did. About what he didn’t stop. And I told him to shove it up his ass sometimes. He’s a hypocrite and so am I.”

“Sometimes.” Alfred responded. “You’re still a pretty good brother though.”

“Thanks.” Matt said. “I try.”

“I know.” Alfred said. “And I’m sorry I don’t sometimes.”

Matt shrugged. “Not your job. You don’t have to waste your time if you don’t want too. I’ll live, the overpriced booze will keep flowing. I shut up and do my job, everyone benefits. It’s fine.”

“We’re brothers.” Alfred said. “We’re supposed too… I don’t know.”

“You’re a rising great power, I’m the favourite knife of the British Empire. We have our roles. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want too.”

“Matt–”

He’d drooped against the arm of the sofa, breathing ragged, unable or unwilling to reply.

“You with me?”

“Yeah.” He responded, hoarse. “Sorry.”

“Is this from the gas too?”

“Yeah,” He didn’t off anymore of an explaination and Alfred shook his head.

“Dumbass,” He stood, and crouched to reach out. He gently placed the back of his hand against his brother’s forehead. “All you have to do is ask for help and, fuck, I think you’re warmer.”

“Just tired.” He murmured, but he didn’t open his eyes.

“Mattie…” How many times in a day could he let denial slide before it was stupid? Matt was trying to rally himself, push Alfred off and reach for the tea, muttering about how he was fine when there was a loud crack. The windows rattled and suddenly he had his arms full of his brother, shaking like the last maple leaves on the trees, eyes screwed shut and mouthing something in French Alfred couldn’t make out.

“Hey,” Alfred laughed nervously. “Hey, you cold?”

“They’re coming.” Matt said, and the fever flush had disapeared. He looked bloodless. “They’re coming.”

“Hey.” Alfred suddenly understood. “Hey it’s okay. I’m right here. Matthew, I am right here. Nothing’s wrong. It was a car backfiring, not gunfire. No one’s coming.”

Matt leaned in more, burying his face in Alfred. “You don’t let anything happen to me.”

“Never have, never will.” Alfred rested one cheek on Matt’s feverish head. He held on tight, feeling the tremors that sprang through Matt until they stilled. But Matt’s breathing was still fast and shallow. He hadn’t been this close in a while, and the path of Matt’s spine showed through his layers, and he’d had that pinched up look half his life.

“Come on.” He said, gently. “Bed.”

“No.” He burrowed against Alfred more tightly, like he was four, barely spoke English and it was a cold morning he didn’t feel like greeting just yet. He’d always had a streak of stubbornness.

Eventually, Alfred got him up, got him to change and horizontal. He was a little delirious, shivering between the sheets and coughing until he was curled in a ball and muttering about how he needed his axe. But he didn’t get up to get it. He breathed through a split lip and rolled around trying to get comfortable. Alfred fed him pills and glass after glass of water, and somewhere around the seventh, Matt seemed to pass out into real sleep. Alfred sat on the bed and pressed his hands to Matt’s cheeks and was relieved to find it a little cooler.

Matt rolled over towards him, hugging his side, demanding warmth and making a contented sound when Alfred let him with a snort. “You always were a snuggly baby.”

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

I am so damn tired. I don't know how other people manage to hold down jobs and have families and get all their shit together and still manage to find time for things they enjoy.

I can't manage to eke out time for one episode of a drama, let alone something more challenging. I will try at least half tonight and maybe continue tomorrow. I hate everything 😢

***

OK, I laughed 🤣🤣

***

God, I'm so face-blind 😭

Is this that royal cousin that he once saved in the middle of nowhere?

Are we getting to the royal plots now? I feel like I'm really struggling here with the transition from the last arc to this one.

***

Yup, it's him, I just went back and checked my old screenshots.

***

Oh, shit.

Assassins!

Anyway, here's to random Imperial cousin Zhao becoming the new Emperor!

Maybe he can even let Gu Tingye retake that stupid exam.

***

So nice 💚

***

They just keep poppin up, like toadstools after rain 😕

This drama is mostly a domestic, female drama, with female issues and struggles and household battlefields, so I find it very hard to switch gears and enjoy his wuxia moments that happen here every one hundred years because it just doesn't match the tone of everything else, but I've realised that I wouldn't mind watching him wreak destruction in another drama, where it would be more appropriate. He really moves very well and is such a strong presence on-screen.

***

Also, what is he fighting these bandits alone for? Was he not with Imperial Cousin the Younger when they realised there was an ambush? Where are the rest of their men?

***

Finally!

***

So many common themes with Love Like the Galxy!

Also, I am always reminded of Shen Zechuan breaking a prisoner out of the imperial prison to skin him alive.

***

LOL, that didn't take long 😅

Anyway, princes Yan and Yong are going down!

***

I love how these people still have faith in the useless Emperor.

The man has been mentally unwell for years, he is old and sick and they still think they can go tattle to him and that he will do anything to protect anyone.

***

I love Imperial Cousin, LOL! He's so bloodthirsty 🤣🤣

But he must be when Daddy Zhao is so meek and indecisive.

***

I love these big shots of scenery!

***

Yeah, dream on!

Gu Tingye is out there being best buddies with the next emperor! All your scheming is in vain.

But the biggest irony here is that Gu Tingye adored her. He really thought of her as a mother. It would have been endless glory and wealth for her and her son if she had just been half normal and not gone out of her way to ruin everyone's lives.

***

This can't be good 😬

It's just Minglan's luck to get stuck in the Imperial Palace when a coup is about to go down.

***

I know this woman!

Didn't she also play an evil Imperial Consort in Nirvana in Fire?

These roles suit her!

***

YESSSS! Consort Rong, go apeshit! 🔥🔥

***

Yes! Please, kill her!

Preferably beat her to death.

Let her know before she dies what pain she inflicted on helpless people. I am Team Consort Rong!

***

Wait.

If Prince Yong killed her sister, she is probably allied with prince Yan. And Prince Yan is currently trying to murder Gu Tingye and Unfavoured Imperial Cousins.

So maybe not Team Consort Rong after all because I do want Gu Tingye to win 🤔 But maybe she can kill Princess Pingning first.

***

Yep.

Go, Consort Rong!! Kill them all!! 🗡🗡

***

Oh, yes, dig your grave!

I will very much enjoy watching the whole lot of you die.

***

Oh, he's still alive?

I was wondering.

Also, the difference between his appearance and the Consort's, smh. She is so beautiful and he is a warmed-up corpse. My estimate is that he is at least forty years older than her.

***

LMAO, priorities 🤣🤣

I love Changbai! He is such a Lan Xichen 💙

[chaotic-on-main]

sky my lovely!!! first off congratulations you absolute sweetie pie!! so deserved and I cant wait to watch you grow more <3

second!! im sliding a $5 across the ice cream truck counter very suavely to order a pralines and cream with hot fudge (my absolute favorite!!) I'm thinking awkward unspoken feelings friends to lovers type thing?? like how long can we ignore that we woke up in each others arms??? AGH okay I love you mwah mwah thank you

Order up!! One pralines and cream with hot fudge for Mars!

Sky's Summer and 250 Follower Event

☾ Pairings ➼ Megumi Fushiguro x gn!Reader

☾ Content/Warnings ➼ fluff, expletives, one bed, friends to lovers (almost), modern au

☾ Author's Note ➼ Hi Mars!! Thank you so much for sending in a request! I may be a Levi girly, but I gotta admit I had a lot of fun writing this. I definitely did not start this at 2am and decided to stay up til 5am to finish it. I'm queueing this up though, worry not. Also I realized last minute you might have wanted more of the aftermath of waking up in each other's arms so if you would like a second part to this, please let me know?? I wouldn't mind, as I have something in mind that could work. But if I had continued, it would have easily been over 5k words and I need to work on other requests LMAO.

☾ Word Count ➼ ~2.2k

It would figure with your shitty track record, everything and their mother would do anything in their power to stop you from reaching your destination – your hometown. Due to traffic, multiple car wrecks, and now what felt like the heaviest thunderstorm known to man – you find yourself sitting behind the wheel 9 hours into what should have been a 7 hour drive. And according to the GPS display on the dash, you’re still a couple hours away from where you’re supposed to be.

Your knuckles turn white as you grip the steering wheel in distress. The rain comes down in sheets, making the wipers work overtime just to give you a few seconds glimpse at the road ahead. You sat in silence because you had turned the radio off a few miles back so you could focus. A cough to your right startles you and it takes everything within you to not swerve off the road.

“Shit! Megumi, what the fuck.” You hiss, pressing your hand to your chest in a means to calm your beating heart.

“I just coughed, calm down.” Your black haired companion mumbles, rolling his eyes at you. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Well excuse me for trying to keep us alive. If you couldn’t tell, there’s a lot of shit happening outside.” You scowl. In your high-strung concentration, you completely forgot about your best friend sitting in the passenger seat. He’s the whole reason why you’re even going back home in the first place.

One of his friends from high school is getting married back in the hometown where you all grew up. You knew of this friend by association, but that was it. You didn’t even know Megumi back then, even though you went to the same school as him. You had actually met him at the local community college before both getting opportunities in the same city post-graduation. Now that you think back on it, Megumi has been your roommate for as long as you remember.

Maybe that’s why you felt the need to help him when his car decided to take a shit, offering to drive him at the very last minute. You suppose you could have let him just borrow your car, but you were persistent to drive him yourself. You told yourself it was to make sure your car got there and back in one piece. Part of you tells yourself you’re a liar.

Megumi calls your name.

“What?” You squint your eyes, as if that would help you see what was out the blurry windshield.

“Let’s just pull off and get a motel somewhere. This storm is not letting up and it’s already so late. You need a break.”

“I promised to get you there. So I’m doing that.” You frown at the possibility of failing him.

“You’re not breaking that promise by pulling off for the night. We’ll just get up early tomorrow and head straight there.” Megumi insists.

“We’re only a cou-“

“Pull off on the next exit or I’m grabbing the steering wheel from you.” He cuts in wryly.

“Then we’d both be dead, is that what you want?” He doesn’t say anything to that. When you take a second to glance over, you’re met with a slight scowl.

“Ugh, FINE.” You get into the left lane and slow down, waiting for the next exit to come up.

.

Fortunately for you two, there are plenty of places to stay in the little area you pull off into. Unfortunately, every place you call has no vacancies due to this time of year except for a dinky little motel way down the road. It wasn’t your first choice, and you had even offered to drive down to the next exit to find something else. Megumi points out the next exit wasn’t for another 30 miles, so the dinky little motel it was.

“If I get murdered in my sleep, I want you to know it was all your fault.” You mutter to Megumi as you rip open the office door, dripping wet from just a few seconds of being out in the pouring rain.

“You can stay in the car then. It’ll save you money.” He mumbles back quietly.

“Pft, whatever.” You turn your focus to the clerk sitting at the front desk, currently blowing bubbles with chewing gum and scrolling through her smartphone. She doesn’t look up.

“Uh- excuse me?” You call out. She still doesn’t acknowledge you or your friend.

Megumi goes up to the counter and slaps a hand down onto the linoleum covered counter. The clerk jumps up, eyes wide in shock. It takes a moment for her to register there are two customers waiting for her.

“Can I help you?” She says, her tone drenched with boredom.

“Yeah, two rooms please.” Megumi says, holding up two fingers – his ring and pinky.

“Let me see.” The clerk says. She puts her phone down to click around the computer in front of her. She types a few things in, clicks around, then flickers her eyes above the screen to the two of you.

“We only have one room left.” Her monotonous voice was really starting to grate at you.

“Does it at least have two beds?” You ask, annoyance slipping into your voice.

You’re met with a shrug and a pop of bubble gum. You take a step forward, feeling the heat of your frustration simmering. Megumi holds his arm out across your chest and holds you back.

“We’ll take it, thanks.” With that, Megumi pays for it and is handed the keys in turn.

“Check out is 11am. Thanks for staying with us, or whatever.” The lady says, waving her hands dismissively before going back to her phone. If you weren’t so drained, you would have thrown yourself over the counter at her. Maybe it was due to being so drained that you were thinking of doing something so feral. Instead, you take a deep breath and follow Megumi out the door.

The rain still comes down in sheets as you and Megumi rush to grab the bags from the trunk and book it up to the second floor where the room you were staying in lies. Much to your ever growing irritation, the motel in question is one of those that have the open walkways, only the guardrail and overhang serving as protection. Not like it matters anyways, because the rain starts blowing at an angle and pelts you in the face as you struggle to make it to the room.

Your boiling pot of anger threatens to spill over when you stumble into the room behind Megumi to find that there weren't two beds – in fact there was only one. The smallest queen you had ever seen. In the grimiest looking motel room you have ever seen. Dropping your bag to the floor, you groan in frustration.

“That lady sucks.” You rub your face with both hands, pulling your cheeks down and staring over to Megumi. He’s grabbing some extra blankets and a pillow from the storage closet by the bathroom. “What are you doing, ‘Gumi?”

“Getting my spot on the floor ready.” He mutters without looking over to you. After tossing the bedspread onto the floor, he heads to the bathroom. You bound over to him quickly, only to have the door shut in your face.

“Like hell you will. Take the bed, I’ll get the floor.” You shout over the hardwood. He doesn’t respond. Instead of being a normal person who would just wait over the by the bed, you slam your fists into the door.

“You’ve been driving all day. You deserve the bed more than me.” You hear him say, muffled. You stare at the faded, thin carpet under your feet. It’s a dark burgundy, littered randomly with even darker spots. Perhaps it had been a bright red at one point?

“That floor looks like it hasn’t been cleaned since the 90s. Why don’t we just…” You trail off as Megumi opens the door, coming face to face with you. He wasn’t expecting you to be so close. You notice he had changed into dry pajamas, though you’re not sure how he did it so quickly. Nor did you see him bring clothes in with him. You must be really tired.

“Why don’t we just what?” A black eyebrow raises at you in curiosity.

“..Just share the bed.” You mumble under your breath. Turning on your heel, you head over to the side of the bed closest to the wall.

“Do what?” Megumi follows you, frowning slightly. He hadn’t heard you.

“Share the bed.” You say louder, not looking his way. In all the years you both had been roommates, sharing a bed was something that had never come up. It wasn’t needed, for obvious reasons.

“I mean, if that’s okay with you.” He replies back coolly. Your eyes snap up to his, and notice he’s watching you anxiously despite his tone.

“We don’t have to. It was just a suggestion.” You raise your hands up in defense, puffing your cheeks out.

“No, I think it’s the smartest choice we have.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Postive?”

“Just go change into dry clothes, dummy.” He rolls his eyes and walks past to his side of the bed. You trill your lips as you push yourself off the bed and into the bathroom after grabbing a pair of pajamas out of your small bag.

You find yourself on your side facing the wall about 10 minutes later. Megumi is tucked under the covers behind you, facing the window you suspect. It’s quiet bar for the ticking of the analog clock on the wall above the tv by the front door. Before getting into bed, he had made sure to lock every lock available to him.

‘Triple reassurance.’ He had said.

You roll onto your back and stare up at the ceiling. That thought from earlier today about why you were so insistent on driving him surfaces to the top of your mind. You turn your head to where Megumi currently lies, his back to you confirming your assumption from before. His black hair pools around his pillow. You think you’re the only person who has ever seen his hair down from his normal spiky style.

“’Gumi?” You whisper over to him. You’re met with silence, which means he must have fallen asleep. Exhausted from the drive today, sleep comes to you just as easily. Your last thought before falling into pitch black nothingness is Megumi's stupidly cute smile.

.

When you wake, you don’t open your eyes right away. You can already tell the sun must be up by the way your eyelids tint pink. Your eyes flutter open and you blink hard a few times to reorient yourself. An ugly navy striped wallpaper glares back at you. Where were you?

You take a second to think. That’s right, you and Megumi had stopped at a motel last night to shelter from the storm for the evening. A small gust of air blows down your neck and it takes everything in you to not jump up and out of bed. Something cinches over your waist and pulls you close and your eyes widen. Wait, Megumi.

Carefully, you slide your hand down to what was around your waist and a breath hitches in your throat. It’s an arm, and not just any arm. It belongs to Megumi – solely based off the fact he was the only one in the bed with you.

By the depth of his breaths, you can tell he’s still sleeping. Good, you think to yourself. Maybe you can move his arm off you gently and not wake him. However, when you go to wrap your fingers around his wrist, he digs his face into your hair and sighs softly. He’s pulling you in closer too, and this is where you’re drawing the line.

“U-uh Megumi.” You say. Your voice is crackly with the lack of moisture.

His breathing steadies out, and suddenly you feel him stiffen up behind you. Slowly, he pulls away and the sadness that comes with the absence of his body heat hits faster than you would have cared to admit.

“S-Sorry.” He mutters behind you, his own voice thick with sleep.

“No, it’s okay.” You squeak out. Pulling yourself out of the covers, you grab your bag and practically run to the bathroom, shutting the door behind you with a soft click.

You don’t come out for another 30 minutes, deciding to take a quick shower to calm yourself down. A few mental arguments later, you feel you can face him. This needed to be talked about. You wanted to talk about it. You take a deep breath and throw the bathroom door open. When you walk out, however, you see Megumi dressed and ready to go by the door, his bag in hand.

“There you are. Ready to head out? If we leave now, we can make it for the rehearsal lunch.” He looks up from his phone that he must have been scrolling on while waiting.

“I-yeah. Megumi, listen-“ You stop with your mouth open, ready to say what you had rehearsed in the steamed up bathroom mirror. But nothing comes out. Instead, you pinch your lips together and give him a nod. “Yeah. Let’s go."

TBH I don't know of any other JJK moots. So if you see this and wanna be tagged in my next JJK fics, please comment to let me know?? Thank you! (I will tag @romantichomicide95 tho because I know she's a Megumi girly)

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

tag from @babyrdie and @greekmythologylover234 .

been a lot of tag games recently huh! thanks for remembering me 🤣

9 people you want to know better

i don't know enough people on here, but i'll be tagging @amnesiaa-on-ice @akhillaous @whorewhouse @naurumii @elnbnt @peggy-sue-reads-a-book

here are the questions to copy-paste:

three ships

first ship

last song

last tv show

currently reading

currently watching

currently eating

currently craving

my answers to them are under the cut so only those who are interested will be reading it (because i'll be yapping) lol

three ships

- patrochilles (duh; probably going to be my favorite, if i'm honest)

- kavetham (admits this semi-shamefully because the rest of the fandom is ass-- but i've left it. glad i did because the recent toxic community will never do me any good. i stressed, i die. simple. was a huge hyperfixation for a year or so though.)

- vashwood (it's been a while, but i really got obsessed with them and the show. watched 1997 once, stampede 3 times, not inclusive of the scattered episodes)

first ship

tbh no idea. it may or may not be solomon and saya from blood+ (great show great show) but i was around 7 when this happened and was just tagging along with whatever my sister had to say about things like these? i'm not a super shippy person either-- i'm not big on these things and certainly a lot less when i was younger. didn't have a lot of interest in couples prolly bc i had no idea what difference it had with friendship. just that you kiss and fuck or something. and i thought that was weird, or well, nothing much to it.

i guess you could say that the first pairing i've ever wanted to defend was zuko and katara from ATLA 🤣 nowadays i understand mai and zuko's relationship and i think it's pretty sweet, but back then i was fixated on zutara chemistry so whee🕺

last song

i haven't been playing music recently since i've been over at my partner's, but "done for" from epic the musical has been playing in my head since i woke up so there's that lol

last tv show

we were looking through netflix for an "easy" show to watch for dinner and got through 2 episodes of the exploding kittens show 🤣 played the game a lot when we got it, plus fond memories of things that happened whilst prompted us to check it out. it's an american tv show i guess, and i've never really vibed with those so it was alright, i guess. the kitties were cute.

currently reading

nothing. finished madeline miller's circe 3 days ago or so, though. my odyssey reading has been suspended for 2 weeks now but i guess it's because i'm pretty much kept up on the plot from randomly reading shit about it on the internet? i'm generally more of a "how did the story go?" person when i get into a book unless i become super obsessed with it. then, i'll dive into the nuances of text and its analysis. which hasn't been happening recently. i'll probably be balls-deep in academic text soon considering i haven't been a good student (our research adviser told us to start doing our thesis papers over the summer holiday so the process will be smoother... guess i'll be disappointing the prof who actually likes me ✊)

currently watching

nothing. finished castlevania (as well as the released season of nocturne) last month and i think that's my quota for shows for a while lol.

currently eating

fast food because the rain started pouring so hard. in time for lunch or so. it was a sign from the lord to spend and have a good time because the world might end tomorrow or something.

currently craving

the other items on the menu i didn't order- kidding lmao. a calzone for some reason, as well as a fizzy drink i usually get from a local cafe run by a nice old lady and youth on the drinks. ok, now i want her pesto sandwich.

ight i'll just eat now brb

[alchemicaladarna]

Little tangent about my journey with the QSMP fandom <3

First, I'm going to preface this post by saying, I wouldn't have been interested in the server, been introduced to so many communities, languages, and cultures, if not for the eggs and the admins. So, I initially gained interest when I saw a lot of people posting about Tallulah and.... Misclick duo (lmao) so I decided to check out what everybody was talking about mid-April 2023.

I watched Philza's April 29 VOD- "last" day of the eggs. Absolutely loved Chayanne and Phil planting potatoes because of Phil telling stories about Techno. Cried like a baby after. So now I'm invested.

I downloaded Twitch the next day, in time for the Brazilians' arrival. My main pov continued to be Philza, so I was a Crow for quite a while, mostly into the summer. I started watching Cellbit when the mystery really started to ramp up by the end of May.

Then Bobby died and everyone's reactions made me sob for like, a week.

Summer was probably the most time I've had fun watching QSMP. I don't know why, but it was such a good era, despite the discourse about elections lmao. I began to gravitate more towards watching Foolish's pov and when Jaiden began streaming every day, I had her as my main pov as well. Shoutout to the doozers and Jaiden mains <33

Then, Tina and Bagi arrived and I began religiously watching them as well for, uh. Reasons 🏳️‍🌈 XD. Got invested in Bagi's lore and then everybody became really busy during October so Bad and Bagi were pretty much the only ones consistently on the server XD.

Then, and only then, did I hear little whispers about q!Badboyhalo's soul vultures and possible death? And I got really really interested then. And that's where the Ghostie era started lmao. Up to now, Bad is the only person I'd watch consistently and keep up to date on his lore because well, after the soul vultures arc and especially Sweet Despair, you can't really go back to anything else after that you know?

Of course, without the QSMP, I don't think I would've discovered/re-discovered so many wonderful streamers like Fit, Tubbo, Étoiles, Mouse, or Baghera to name a few.

The past few weeks have probably been the shittiest and most anxiety-ridden weeks for me ever. But, I don't want all the negativity and anxiety to overshadow what was, for me, THE most special and unique fandom experience I've ever had. The QSMP is such a special project, there's no doubt about that. I want that to continue.

So, if this post can offer any sort of positivity and relieve some of the dread we've all been feeling, to any person from any community, that would mean so much to me already.

Send love to and the utmost kindness and care to any and all ex admins, and continue to show your support for the current admins too please. It will take a long time for this to be resolved, and it's terrifying I know, but all we can do is support each other and wait.

Remember to always take care of yourselves and no matter what happens, it always rains before you can see a rainbow right? So, in other words, things will become worse before they can get better. Idk what will happen with the QSMP, but know that life becomes better eventually. No matter the outcome, you'll be ok. We'll all be ok. <333

Edit: oh my god I just realized qsmp 1st anniversary isn't tomorrow. Today is the 20th djrjtbrbebd

There's still 2 days but um everything else I said is still true XDDDD

[moxx-n-angel]

Ok so you know how in Yo-Kai Watch we never get a Hovernyan backstory? Well I made one, and then that evolved into an entire questline for YKW 3. Really long post warning lmao.

After the main story, once you clear the Terminyator quest as Nate, you have to have Illoo, Alloo, and Elloo in your Medalium. When you eventually go to your bedroom in Springdale, Hovernyan is waiting for you. He says that you remind him of himself when he was alive, and Whisper inquiries on what he was like. However, Hovernyan can't recall. He says that there's a forest in Breezy Hills, called Windy Woods, that he remembers being a big part of his story. He says there should be Yo-Kai there that can tell you about legends and, possibly, what he was like. This starts the "Wind-blown Memories" mystery questline.

Go to the left side of the road that wraps around Shoten Temple. There is now an opening that leads to Windy Woods. Talk to the 3 Yo-Kai NPCs in there and you will get information.

One will state that there roams a beast, deep in the woods, that will kill anyone who dares trespass. Another one recalls the sounds of footsteps running from a big shadow, many years ago. The last one claims that there was a boy in here once, but nobody knows what had happened to his body.

Hovernyan will be waiting outside the woods, and after you tell him the info, he exclaims that he remembers the monster. He says to come back tomorrow to help him defeat the beast.

When you go to bed, Illoo, Alloo, and Elloo spawn in, initiating a cutscene. They all wave their sticks in the air, creating a red fog that engulfs the screen. It cuts to a black "loading" screen.

When the screen finally shows, it pans to a boy and a cat attacking a well-worn tree in what looks like older times. The boy's mother calls for him. "Joseph, it's going to rain soon! Come inside!" Joseph, who we now know is the boy, looks at the cat and scoops him up. "Come on, Moxie. Let's go. We can train more tomorrow..." He sounds disappointed.

The camera fades to black and opens on a bedroom. It's pretty barren, aside from a cot and a Moximous Mask poster. Joseph sighs as he looks at the poster, then turns to Moxie, the cat. "We need to fight stronger things if we want to be like him," he says. "...hey, I heard there's a strong enemy in those woods out near the temple. We should go defeat it." Moxie lets out a soft meow of approval. "We'll go tonight, when Mom is asleep."

The camera cuts to black once again, and then another cutscene plays with Joseph sitting on his cot. He picks up Moxie and puts her in a makeshift backpack before standing up. "Ready?" he says. The cat nods and the player gains control of Joseph. You can explore a little, but your goal is to get to the Windy Woods.

Once you reach the woods and step inside, you are tasked with walking in further. A cutscene then plays with Joseph walking through these dark woods, and a shadowy figure beckoning to him from deeper in. He follows it deeper and deeper, and as he stops to look for it, is instantly hit by a large hand. Moxie jumps out of the backpack to try and save Joseph, but it was too late. They were both knocked back into a tree, and were dying. The monster, a huge squirrell-deer like Yo-Kai, growls and walks away.

A voice acted scene plays out. With his last dying breaths, Joseph reaches over to Moxie, scoops her up in his arms, and whispers: "In life... or in death... you will always be my hero." Tears fall down his face as his last breath escapes his lungs, and they lie lifeless. Their bodies disappear and are replace by Hovernyan and a new Yo-Kai, Meowxie.

Nate wakes up in a sweat after this dream, and it seems as if Whisper and Jibanyan had the same one, too. They tell Hovernyan everything, and he sighs and gets even angrier at this monster.

As you go into the woods, deeper and deeper, you find the monster Yo-Kai, and initiate a boss battle with it. After defeating it, you can go into a cave area that hosts Meowxie inside of it. Hovernyan and Meowxie have a heartfelt reunion, and you get Meowxie's medal. This ends the questline, and the "Mystery Solved!" cutscene plays.

The reward for beating it other than tears? A Moximous Mask poster and a special item for Meowxie, the Heroic Collar, which increases her SPD by +30 and ATK by +50. Meowxie is an A-Rank Yo-Kai from the Brave Tribe, with a decent spread more focused on damage and the ability Moxie.

[mildmayfoxe]

we were supposed to have a big snow storm tonight and tomorrow of 7-13 inches and all the schools and stuff decided to close tomorrow preemptively & the city declared a snow emergency & my boss decided we would be closed too and i was glad i will get to sit inside & watch the snow build up and i just checked the weather again and now it says it’s supposed to rain all night instead & we’re getting less than four inches of snow. lmao

[bluebunnysart]

Ok I guess we're doing this again because Slyvasta's art is SO based and it's fanart of something I made again and that makes me go a little insane, if not a little feral, so here we go.

https://x.com/Slyvasta/status/1820390822740947193

It's spoiler-free once again, so even people who haven't read Song or Rain can look at it. c: It's so freakin' good... I've been wanting to do this all day (gush about it) but I was out of the house all day and I kinda deprived myself of some sleep from looking up motivational/romantic poetry/quotes again so lmfao. Woops.

Major spoilers for my Mikuteto/Negidrill fanfics below, of course! Mainly just fangirling but I'll also be talking about what I've been cooking and their relationship in general and so on, and I think it's better to see that for yourself instead of letting the author spoonfeed everything in her mind to you xD. It won't be 2 hours this time; it'll be like 30 mins to an hour I think 'cuz I'm sleepy (and somewhat restrained yet unrestrained for a moment right now xD) but watch me eat my words. 😂

Fukking gosh do I love Negidrill. Faveshipping fukking rules. I love these two and I've written a couple of journal entries already about how much I love them, but after all the tasty/fun stuff I'm getting 'cuz of Negidrill, I'm getting even more worse about them. xD I digress. I was actually supposed to get UTAU Teto plushie today 'cuz I finally caved and wanted to give my cute "Miku with a leek on her head" plush a friend, but of course there's a delay for some reason and I'm getting her tomorrow, I guess? I don't mind waiting but it's kinda annoying getting my hopes up like that (I'll live of course, I know you're working hard). With that said, waking up to this fanart was such a pleasant surprise... I'll never get over it, I swear. xD I think some people get used to receiving things and start to take it for granted or something if it happens a lot, but I'm not sure if I can be like that: I know you took time out of your day, however much, to draw this (for me???) and I'm incredibly grateful. It's such a lovely piece of art and I'm gonna seriously yap about all the things I love about it right now, but just the act itself is incredibly sweet and touching lol. I actually don't like being too visible sometimes around certain people, especially if I really like their stuff, 'cuz I don't want to put pressure on them or accidentally give them expectations that I can't meet, but when it comes to me, I treat everything like a one-time thing. xD The first time I received fanart about this AU, I was ecstatic, and I'll feel that every time, 'cuz I literally don't expect it. xD I still don't, even though I'm fired up to give these two versions of Miku and Teto more love, but thank you so much, really. xD That's all I'll say about me now I think.

Now onto this fanart.... Agghhh.... This isn't gonna be an art analysis or anything (even though I do notice lots of things; if there was a competition for how long you can stare at a piece of art [all day], I'm pretty sure I'd win it) but yeah, I'm just gonna talk nonstop about the things I like. 🥰

TETOOOOOOOOOOO

Hhhgnnhhh , I called her creature-coded earlier but now it feels like she's dragon-coded here...... Which is an incredibly GOOD thing because I'm such a big fan of dragons, like "falls in love with dragons really hard, I might say some weird stuff about them, sorry xD (all clean ofc)", so that's just so freaking cool. My desire to befriend and be around dragons aside, there is nothing I don't love about this drawing of Teto. Honestly, the single horn is a great idea and has really grown on me (I stare at the other fanart often because it's literally on my desk and it's only been like 2 weeks I think lmao), so yeah... In my own drawings of Teto, I wasn't going to include a horn or anything, but this is seriously yummy... I'll draw this version of Teto too, for sure.... I think it's cool; I'm probably not gonna bring up the horn or make references to it in the fic so it's left up to interpretation (just the way I like it), but with or without horn, she's very very cool. 🥰 Having it makes her distinctive tbh; I don't even think about things like "instantly recognizable" or anything, but look, her silhouette goes so hard lol. I love the sharpness in her appearance in general: the spikes at the tips of her wings and obviously the sharp tail... I feel like you nailed the pinnacle of character design here LOL; her silhouette goes SOO SO hard lmao. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

In my own personal idea of Teto, I'm fine with giving her the horn on her head when I feel like it, and the sharp ears too, nice! 😊 But (and this is only how I would draw them btw, not at ALL a critique/attack on yours 'cuz yours is freakin' beautiful and just as valid as mine) since Teto folds her wings a lot (in my head) and is a side sleeper and I want her to hug or be hugged by Miku if I can lead into it naturally enough, I don't want Miku to get stabbed by Teto or anything, so I'd probably keep Teto's wings like the art of the first person who made Song fanart. c: They're hard and cool and I love all spikiness in her design A LOT for real because I think it's incredible gap moe because she's like one of those "prickly but secretly a big softie" types tbh but yeah~. The horn on her head is fine and not a hazard (I especially notice you make her slightly taller than Miku which is NICE, I guess being bigger would benefit her ability to carry Miku in her arms c:) but the wings are always subject to change (for me). c: I love your drawing a lot though for real and there's obviously nothing stopping them from frontal hugs or anything, but when it comes to the "spikiness/danger" of Teto's design/appearance, it's fun thinking about what I vibe with~ (basically all of it ❤).

In my excitement, a lot of thoughts and words are jumbling together now and I'll start saying things out of order before I even introduce them, lol, but we're still talking about Teto here.

Her wings: I've actually been going through a lot of Teto art and when people draw chimera Teto, I've been comparing and contrasting the different ways people color the inside of her wings!! Like this or this or making the wings all black like an actual bat. My words are never canon to the actual story unless I say they are (everything that's canon is in the written text only) so I'm glad I leave things up to interpretation, but gosh, I just wanted to say I've been deliberating over all the ways to color Teto's wings and I'm not freaking sure yet which one to go with wwww. I guess I just need to experiment with it once I carve a chunk of time out and sit and play with colors, but since we're talking about Teto, I wanted to bring up how much I think about her lmao. I like whatever's cool, so I'm leaning towards a pinkish-red, but I also like all-black like the night, so LOL. Indecision, indecision (and not canon anyway, whichever I pick, so it's fine).

The wing hug thing going on in this pic.... How she's draping her wing over Miku.... First of all, that's fukking adorable lmao; I don't see rain I believe so she's just casually standing next to Miku and seemingly doing the equivalent of (trying to) put an arm around her... That's adorable. I need to talk about this because while planning on what to write for "Rain" (the sequel), I also briefly considered having Teto cover Miku with her wings (like an umbrella) 'cuz it's raining, duh, but ya know, then I decided to go all drastic and have Teto absent when it starts raining so by the time she returns, Miku's already being heavily rained on and Teto returned with an umbrella 'cuz she's smart like that. I just wanted to say I had the idea of her covering/putting her wing over Miku too so it's so wonderful that you drew this. 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Teto's wings are fukken cool and I want her to utilize them to their fullest potential; she usually achieves this by flying and being sick in the air but I fukken love wing hugs too for real, I always have, so gosh... Based.

Let's talk about her tail next. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 As I've mentioned before (I swear I did), Teto's tail is one of my favorite parts of her, besides her face and her wings and the rest of her body ofc, and I thoroughly enjoy seeing her tail swishing back and forth/wagging here. ❤♥❤🥰🥰🥰❤❤🥰🥰❤♥ It's so fukken cute. I've reached the point where my ideas outnumber my ability to produce them LOL (reached that point like a month ago tbh), but I actually wanted to create a piece of fanart about THIS Teto and how animal-like she is. I really like animals so I can't resist, I find her SO endearing like this so I apologize about the lowkey furry/scalie business (jk no i dont) but anyway. Continuing with that though, I was gonna compare chimera Teto's many expressions/poses to animals lol. For example, when her tail is wagging, she's very dog-like, like an excited puppy: I would draw her with her tail wagging and next to her would be a drawing/picture of a dog, like a chart. xD

When Teto is surprised/shocked/etc, her tail probably stands on end/straight up or kinda zig-zaggy or something, like a cat with its hackles raised. xD Again, I'd draw Teto in her shocked pose and a cat drawing next to her (imagination/idea) for demonstration. xD

Finally, the last idea I had in this lineup was Teto's wings and owls. xD I think the last emotion might've been like "startled/spooked/alarmed", and her wings would be, like, in a threatening/aggressive pose I think?? xD Like an owl, like this I think. xD

The main takeaway is her entire body is very expressive and she's very animal-like. She's very chimera-like too 'cuz she's imitating/behaving like all these animals, but heeh, yeahh. I jokingly call myself a furry even though I'm more of an animal ears/tail connoisseur instead, and I've had a friend get legit weirded out by how I was talking about cat scents in relation to my anime girl cat AUs lol (it's an AU and they're cats, this is tame and par for the course omg xD 😭), but well, all you have to take away from all this is I think she's cute. She's really cute. This is super cute to me. I wanna pick her up and gently shake her in the air lmao. So cute.

Anyway, the tail wagging thing is adorable and absolutely a thing and I love that you kept that and added that. In fact, even in the first fanart you made, I felt a lot of love over the fact that that seems to be the moment where Teto's lashing her tail in annoyance/anger/frustration/etc., so yeah. I freakin' love her tail, okay?? I guess this is my way of sneaking in my interests and love of animals/cats and applying it to Teto, but that just makes me love her more 'cuz I'm used to writing about/rping cats and I love Teto's expressive tail. I want Miku to pick up Teto's tail and compliment her and be super cute about it. I want Teto to let her do this even though she's secretly embarrassed about it. I want them to be cute togetherrrrr 😭😭😭😭😭

We're just going from one thought to another, but now is a good time to mention that I have an idea for how to start the next part (not how to end it though, lmfao, I never know how to end it until I get there), and I took a stab at writing it once. Will probably rewrite it to make it better since I don't have much down, but I've got some really nice things in mind that I'm genuinely excited to write about, and I wanted to add that I was also thinking about how much of Teto's backstory to reveal and what her backstory actually is. Things like "VIPPER" and "VIPPERloid" came to mind, if you're curious about what exactly was going through my mind lol. As of the time I'm writing this, I think I'm hesitant to talk too much about Teto's past because, to be frank, I'm not sure what I want to make concrete and what I don't. xD I've got ideas, but I don't want them to stamp out other, better ideas, and the focus of the fic is more about Mikuteto in the present, so while I was seriously thinking about the prominence and implications of chimeras in this world, I probably won't be dumping a lot of lore 'cuz the imagination is honestly better, in my mind. I created my fic for gay reasons, not to create a social commentary/actual think piece about the world and humanity, so I will admit one thing... In the first fic, in the scene where Teto's talking about how all of humanity died, I feel like it's a bit on-the-nose and even political (even though it shouldn't be lmfao), so I do actually wince slightly thinking it's a bit too forced/may or may not be out of place in a fic where I mainly want the two characters to get together and be happy, but yeah. It's not like I regret adding that part, nor do I want to change it, but it almost feels like I'm revealing too much what I think, when that's not my main focus or goal. There's a bunch of symbolism that I won't talk about because that part, I won't directly tell the reader besides the basic theme: the analogies and comparisons and all that, the reader can have fun identifying (if they want to)! c: But yeah-- concluding this whole paragraph, the stuff about Teto's backstory again feels forced and makes me frown slightly 'cuz I dunno if I really wanna put it in there. The focus is more on the present rather than talking too much about the past and how we got here, so it's not like I'll avoid Teto's past completely (if she even has a concrete one I decide on and set in stone), but besides the basics, I probably won't go into it much. Gosh, it's impossible for me to write a medium-length post about Ngdrll I guess, but I wanted to talk about it since I don't say it anywhere else and I love these two dearly. I'm thinking all kinds of things about them at all times, and every time someone shows passing interest, I release bits of that into the public in case someone wants to read it and read more. xD

Ok, I'm done talking about Teto I think. Both Teto and Miku are the stars of the show, but Teto especially has a distinctive appearance that changes for each person, so I immediately get giddy about that and compare notes lol. Obviously 100% praise and adoration for depicting your own version of her and showing that to me. I love her. She's incredibly cool. Don't get mad at me for saying this but she's really conventionally attractive (hot) too lmfao. Especially next to Miku. I like couples that look aesthetically pleasing together (I love visuals ok), but I really do enter fangirl mode when I see the characters depicted in such cool and nice ways.

Teto is adorable in this piece because this piece honestly perfectly encapsulates and represents what their relationship is at the moment, which is Teto trying to be cool/nonchalant but also trying to bridge the gap with Miku, but she doesn't know how to deal with her honestly so I wonder if she's, like, testing the waters here lmao. She's not even touching Miku, just covering her with a wing for some reason and there's no rain from what I can see and Miku is fine without being protected from some wind, so isn't this just Teto trying to get closer to her? xD The fact that she's standing so close when there's like literally so much open space surrounding them-- that's hilarious. xD You can't play that off. wwwww I know what you are

The tail movement too is absolutely cute 'cuz I loove that Teto expresses her emotions and excitement through her tail and you can bet it's gonna give her away a lot. Miku doesn't know how to read Teto's tail yet but Miku is literally a robot and will create a mini internal dictionary/classification system for Teto's different tail poses so Teto is doing herself no favors by being so transparent with her tail. Miku's not gonna figure her out immediately, ofc, it'll take time to build up, but I'm amused by the idea of Teto herself not even knowing what her own tail movements mean and Miku just casually pointing them out.

"What are you worried about right now?"

"What?"

"Your tail. It's indicating that you're worried about something."

"Wha... Huh...? You got that just from my tail??" What else do you know about me from my tail... (sweats)

Anyway. Fukking damn it. I can't stop writing when I get excited. Now you know how much brainrot I have for these two (this isn't even all of it; I'm not even freaking done, augghhh, Teto plushie get here already so I can work while you monitor me and force me to stay on task), but yeah, in regards to Teto, my current idea of her is that she's like the guarded, cool, gruff, sharp, prickly, detached type. You can especially tell how cool/tough/sharp she is from her appearance (hard black wings, sharp ears and horn if you're looking at Slyvasta's drawing, probably more of a narrowed eyes expression and wearing some kind of frown or indifferent look). With that said though, she's still playful (makes jokes, can laugh, teased Miku twice but had her jokes fail to land both times 'cuz Miku is oblivious lol, etc.). She's basically the nice, playful, mischievous Teto but she got a lot more guarded/negative/gloomy/depressed after the "apocalypse" happened, so... It's just cute to see how Miku brings out more of the original, happy Teto. And I love the gap moe of Teto being really attached to Miku but trying not to act like it 'cuz she has all kinds of doubts and worries and obviously doesn't wanna scare Miku away or be too vulnerable and regret it or anything. Augh, let's summarize.

Teto is cute. The way you drew Teto is cute. I felt a lot of the cuteness from looking at her. Incredible. She's adorable and I need someone to love her. She needs to be loved lmao. All of the cuteness is just oozing out. I can't be normal about her 'cuz I love her, but the cuter she is, the more abnormal I get about her. I'm in fangirl mode so please forgive me. wwww There's a reason I'm not going around linking to this in my fic, 'cuz while hopefully you see my passion for these two in my writing, you don't need to know just how deep it goes unless you're particularly curious. I'm just really fond of them and find them cute, okay? I'll check the word count of this after I'm done getting all of this out of my system. Sorry for being in love with them I guess lmfao.

This isn't a "Teto only" post. Miku is obviously cute as well! And I love her! And I definitely notice the android-like parts of her body in the drawing. c: Seeing how people interpret Miku is nice too, of course~. ♥ Naturally I love the absolutely cheery expression on her face. ❤🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Clearly she doesn't mind Teto's close proximity to her because they're Best Buds™ but this is getting me down a certain train of thought that I really love, hahahaha. xD But I love the idea of Miku just being absolutely dense asf in the fic, which is both relieving and not for Teto. xD I'm not sure if Teto is romantically competent enough to know how to even "make a move" on a robot (a robot, LOL, I've been thinking so much about it LOOL), but besides Miku obviously being Teto's light in an otherwise dark and dreary/hopeless world, Miku is already characterized as the type to not understand something unless she experiences it directly (sarcasm, songs, the weight of death, the strong impact of her own words, etc.), so even though I said "Miku will most likely lead all of the romantic development", Miku will most likely be doing it without even realizing it??? LOOL.

In other words, Miku (in this fic and also I like this interpretation in general) pulls Teto along in a way that I find absolutely moe (endearing). Now that I think about it, I think I need to give Teto an existential crisis over the idea that she's fallen in love with a robot (literal machine), but we can also turn that into a beautiful analogy about falling in love with "fake" (fictional) characters/things in general, so you may be able to imagine why this AU is near and dear to my heart.

ANYHOW, in the context of this pic, I think it's funny if Miku doesn't even notice Teto's wing and is just "no thoughts head empty"-ing about the music coming from the Walkman in her hands. xD Speaking of the Walkman that's appeared more than once now, I will now give you the exact model (the video that I watched while I was writing this part of the story) in case you want to see it, but obviously and like I said, I adore interpretation, so you can imagine it any way you want. The same way the music box depicted in the first fanart I received, it was actually bigger than I expected (I love it though, don't get me wrong ❤) and I can show you the exact model of that too, but I'll do it when I get more time to make fanart, okay~? After I finish writing long ass posts like this. I write most of this for myself too tbh because even though this is all stored in my head, it might be forgotten, so now I can just look at my posts and be like, "Oh yeah, I had this in mind and already talked about this" lol.

Tldr to all of that is even though Miku likes Teto very much for obvious reasons (helped her, is her friend, is her only friend, lmao), I love the idea that she's completely unaware of Teto's feelings towards her 'cuz it's very very likely that's 100% true. xD I'm not sure if Teto even wants to catch feelings? xD So the likelihood of Teto being at the "They just killed themself 40 times in their head at the idea of being in love" part of the "Worst Ship Chart Ever" is not at 0, hahahaha.

What can I say. I need to psychoanalyze these two to oblivion. I need 80-90k words of more pining and slowburn before I'm satisfied. It will take a long time but that's what I need to do to be satisfied. xD I can't be fast about this. wwww. But I'm happy I got another chance to talk about it lol; I'm still a fandom/art account and fanfiction counts as art, but this is NOT a text (only) blog, so I'm still trying to make more visual art/drawings. xD So that's why I don't go wild with lore dumps like "btw, I had another thought about these two in the AU, listen to me" lol. It needs to be triggered like a key or I just keep it all in my journal forever. xD Ugh, this got long again...

Final thing before I shut up now. xD Another fun/amusing thing happened and it's related to Miku, so maybe I can balance the Teto fangirling a little by talking more about Miku.

Miku loves songs and loves to sing them, so while I wasn't gonna turn this into a songfic and start adding songs to every chapter/fic, I did think a lot about what songs she might sing, of course. And I've been thinking for a long time that "On Melancholy Hill" by Gorillaz is SO Mikuteto coded (in this AU).

Video attached so you can listen as you keep reading. [By the way, I stared at the fanart I received today while playing this song on repeat, 'cuz that's how on-point it is lol. I was immersing myself in the world completely. This song is good, ok]

The most relevant lyrics, besides the entire video, start at 1:00:

"Well, you can't get what you want / But you can get me

So let's set out to sea, love

'Cause you are my medicine when you're close to me

When you're close to me"

I hope I don't have to spell out why these lyrics are spot-on for my fic, but I was even thinking of drawing a comic (or animatic) of Miku singing these exact lyrics. With different camera angles and panels and Teto watching (The Watcher lmao) and so on. Miku would be standing on a pile/hill of trash and happily singing to the world (with her hand outstretched like the idol she is) and Teto would be near/behind/around her somewhere, just watching and feeling happy 'cuz Miku is such a good singer and everything Miku does is wonderful and the song is really sweet too.

WELL GUESS WHAT

APPARENTLY A MIKU VERSION ACTUALLY EXISTS. LMAO

I was immensely amused when I found out. It's not like I'm picking niche songs or anything, a Miku and Luka version of "Boats and Birds" exists too so so far, every song I've chosen, someone actually made (things like Melt are famous though, I hope you know about Melt's lore lol) so yeah... Even this song, which I thought was so "them-coded" legitimately has a Miku cover....

It's a really great cover~. It's actually not what I had in mind 'cuz it's a bit too remixed (as an obvious remix lol) with reverb and effects and stuff ("my" Miku mostly sings without instrumental accompaniment and her voice alone is the melody), but it's really cool that this exists!! ❤

"On Melancholy Hill" sounds so dang good and I wanted to point to the instrumental:

I listened to this a lot today on loop (I listened to it the whole time I was writing this too, lol, to remind me to make the points about it), but I feel like the Mikuteto-ness of this song especially shows in the instrumental... In particular, when you start, I like to think Miku is like/represented by the xylophone-like sounds in this song. They start at 0:40 and I really like them in this song: they're gentle and sweet like she is and it helps really explain how she's like the balm to all of the world's (and Teto's) hurt lol.

Speaking of Miku's "influence/representation" in this song, which I think is very "this fic-coded", I'm trying not to be mean or sadistic or anything, but I keep feeling like the easiest and fastest way to progress things is to just keep having things happen to Miku fhshdlkfsdf

The fear of losing someone is an impediment to romance, actually, in my opinion, 'cuz you're motivated by fear instead of love, so I'm not actually gonna go through with hurting Miku (I would never hurt this sweet summer child lol), but I hope you get what I mean lol. "Miku got injured and now Teto must fix her" and "Miku is experiencing difficulties and Teto must help her", etc. etc. I don't want to turn this fic into a formula like that, but the reason it's the easiest way to progress things is 'cuz Miku essentially has Teto in the palm of her hand/wrapped around her finger so 🤷‍♀️. In my eyes, if you want significant stuff to happen, just do stuff to her Miku, lmao. The reason I bring this up in the song is 'cuz that "xylophone sound" doesn't appear throughout it and if you REALLY want to make this the soundtrack of the fic, that implies Miku is missing or something. xD Are we really gonna go the WALL-E route and have something happen to Miku for real? Pls. xD (I'm thinking about it, but in case no one's picked it up, my fic is also WALL-E inspired. I rewatched WALL-E recently after receiving fanart of my fic again probably because that movie is art.)

Negidrill/Mikuteto is so beautiful and I'm really happy if people like what I'm making of them lol. The reason I'm also additionally really flattered is 'cuz I really don't see myself as above any other Negidrill fan, so I know our space is small, but I think other people should get fanart too 'cuz their stuff rocks. (All the Mesmerizer stuff has been fun; did you know I've become a REAL Mesmerizer fan too lately? It was after I got into this ship, so the order is different from a lot of newer fans, but I even changed my discord pfp to Mesmerizer Miku 'cuz it's August and Miku's birthday month, so I'm really a real Mesmerizer fan now. xD Hoping to make my Mesmerizer fanart contributions sometime soon, even if all the hype dies down. xD)

ANYWAY, the way I'm writing is way too unorganized lmao, but basically, this "End of the World" AU really did come to me on a whim, so I'm absolutely BLOWN AWAY by the idea that I've received 3 drawings for it so far. 😭😭😭😭 It's not like I need more to continue or anything, and if people want to use it as a way to bribe me to write, it's absolutely working, but I find it incredibly flattering because while I love my own fic/idea for obvious reasons, I'm really surprised by the idea of other people liking it as much as me. xD I have my own personal reasons for liking what I made, besides the obvious "I made that !! Yeah!!!" feelings, but I wonder what other people are thinking... I'm really happy when you share your thoughts with me, and I'm really happy x2 when they're positive!

My writing style isn't particularly fancy or anything (to me, it feels a bit plain, even though I try to aim for a certain cadence when writing and enjoy it myself), but I like to think I'm not so bad at coming up with ideas, and I gotta say, I came up with one lately that made me really excited!!!

The good news is that it's really cute and fluffy (imo), it's legit yuri (not the yuribait stuff-- real yuri lol), and it's awesome, whether it's written or it's drawn... I want to do both........

The bad news is because it's like a "level 3" action on the romance scale (level 1 being the tame stuff like handholding, level 2 being hugging maybe, and level 3 being any kind of kissing), it's way WAY too soon to introduce a scene like that wwww. Dammit. But I want to see it. But I also want to lead up to it. But I don't want to spoil it. But I still want to see it already, hahahahaha. xD

Okay, on the level of yuribait, I guess it's like half yuribait 'cuz this is dense android Miku we're talking about, but it's a scene that I like very much 'cuz I love lesbians lmao. Don't get your hopes up or anything and think I'm finally gonna add grandiose romantic gestures in like "chapter 3" (the third fic), but the reason I'm saying this is if you're waiting on me, I'm definitely cooking? Lol. It will take time, but I'll do my best to get there. I really don't want to burn out and have to step away, but given everything I've already written so far, I think that's a clear indicator that rather than burning out, I need an outlet for this and the main thing stopping me is adult responsibilities lol. On the bright side as an adult, I feel like I can write fics that really delve into my own idea of love, since I'm a sucker for Mktt being my ideal and all that. xD

Okay, yeah. That's all I have to yap about today. I love this drawing so much. Thank you so much; it's so beautiful lmao. I'm very moved when beautiful things are created. Negidrill is SO fucking GOOD, wrryyyyyyyy !!!!

I'm not gonna turn things weird or anything, I've been a fangirl of my own ideas for a while now and that's why I wrote as many words as I did, but at the end of the day, it's hard for me to tell if someone is on the same wavelength as me when it comes to my love for the ship lol. Like, do you think they look cute together or do you think they would live and die for each other respectively 100 times, be honest with me wwwww (talks about what a healthy relationship are aside).

I'm doing this for myself, so I really don't need fanart or anything to continue, but I'm really really happy and grateful that I got some! Thank you for real! Please continue making Mktt that you like, and honestly, I want to remove myself from the equation as much as possible. xD I want to focus on the greatness that is this ship and all my ideas for them, so even if the execution is unique to me, my main focus is that I love these two and want to show it.

I super respect fans who show off their love and help sail the ship lol. I hope you keep it up and I hope we can all eat lots and lots. xD 😋

Ugh. I love these two.

One last thing. Another song that fits this fic is "As It Was" by Harry Styles. I like the lyrics, ok 😭

[wigglesforsquiggles]

HI WIGGLES!!! HOW WAS YOUR WEEK BELOVED?? :D♡♡

it rly does not feel like a friday to me. nor does it feel like a week has passed. i’ve been chilling at home for this week. i had lunch w my parents and grandad yesterday which was so nice. i also tried tomato soup and honeslty. i’m a soup lover now. when i go back to tha t restaurant i am ordering that Immedialty. very tasty

apart from that i’ve just been enjoying chilling and spending time w family. i have been doing lots of errands w my mum, and i shoukd be going on a day trip tomorrow w both of my siblings (we shall see if anyone tries to kill each other lmao)

i’ve also been doing Adult Stuff (TM), including making a spreadsheet for actual practical reasons (crazy i know) which i still enjoyed

oh i’ve also been cursed by the youtube gods to only be recommended baseball videos bc that is literally 99% of my feed rn. alas. i am trying to resist but i have watched 2 different iceberg videos abt it so. not looking likely

so ye. chill week. i’ve been vibing. i do have a Much busier week next week (im out and about 5/7 days) so which means luck

i hope u have a lovely weekend rain!! wishing u luck w in the germany-scotland euros match this evening (if u pay attention to football ofc)