#now they need to leave their spouses who don’t appreciate them

[lizzievereker]

Lizzie and Freddie. 🥹❤️

[taystarotoverload]

WHO is your Future Spouse?

‼️WARNING‼️: some 18+ & looooottttssss of detail 😮‍💨

☆ this is JUST a general reading so take what resonates leave what doesn’t. we’re going to be diving into 9 different topics about details on who your future spouse is, and some extra little goodies at the end😉

☆ how to PICK A PILE: Breathe in deeply for 3 and out for 5. Meditate on each picture continuing this manual breathing. Ask spirit out loud or in your head “who is my future spouse” and meditate on it. You’ll hear a number or see a number pop into your head, or maybe you’ll feel drawn to a certain pile. whatever works for you go for it! if you’re new to pick a piles this may be difficult at first, but as you read and watch them more and more the process becomes much easier! 😊

☆ DECKS USED:

Tarot:

A.E. Waite Tarot (pile 1) Cat Tarot (pile 2) Wild Unknown (pile 3)

Oracle:

Fairy Wisdom Oracle, Wild Mystic, Romance Angels

☆ lastly thank you thank you to my guides and your guides for offering me and providing me the energy, knowledge, and guidance to do this reading. 🤍

PILE 1

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your currently energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

the fool - the world - ace of wands - page of swords

so what i’m seeing is you’re 100% a leader. you also love going out, you love the outdoors, you love nature and seeing life for what it’s truly about. i see you’re somebody who doesn’t let the hardships of life run you down and ruin you. i see you’re somebody who is a go getter and isn’t afraid to be adventurous and courageous and step out of their comfort zone. you like being the person you are and you’re not going to let anyone stop you. i’m also seeing that right now you’re in a transition. your life is transforming alot right now, you might be given many job opportunities or travel opportunities and you’re just thinking “wow when did i get so lucky?” lol i’m also seeing that you ?recently? just got out of a really rocky situation or part of your life and this is why your energy is so bright and vibrant. i’m viewing you as the sun pile 1 you seem very extroverted at times. again with the leadership this is what is leading you towards these amazing opportunities. you’re a big helping hand to others and people appreciate you greatly.

oracle: Magic Frog

so even though pile 1 you seem very bright and good energy, you have a bad problem overworking yourself and giving yourself a hard time. i’m seeing that when it comes to your work and the time you spend creating these ideas and being a leader you never seem to put in time for yourself. it’s always “i need to do this i need to do that” spirit is asking you to just chill. that’s a cool way of putting it but relaxing is good for you. especially for right now i’m seeing you just need a nice hot bath, some oils, some wine (if you’re of age😉) and some slow gentle music. don’t be afraid to have fun and have a good time! you don’t have to live in an endless boring cycle where you feel like you’re going nowhere in life, because the universe has so much to offer!

other messages: childlike, green eyes, brown hair, olive skin, pisces, leo, taurus, aquarius, scorpio, white cloth, yellow, sun, golden retriever

Their Energy:

2 of swords - 5 of pentacles - the empress - page of pentacles

so basically this is very much opposite energy here lol. i’m seeing for you pile 1 your future spouse has been through a LOT. they have faced many battles and challenges physically and mentally. in the physical world i’m seeing that they have been perhaps stabbed in the back by people closest to them. or they were manipulated in some way? something to do with friendships here but im seeing that they are someone who has been through a lot. and they’re currently going through their own battles right now but it’s starting to cool down. they may be somebody you’d associate with the rain?? only cause i keep seeing like grey rain clouds and then like the calm after the storm type of thing. your future spouses energy is very introverted which is definitely opposite to yours, because even if you pile 1 are introverted they take the crown lol. they are somebody who doesn’t open up to people quickly and is very very protective of their energy. but do not be mistake because they aren’t weak in any way. they are very strong person. they don’t need your protection or others they know how to protect themselves when needed. they may be a little bit hard headed but it’s not big deal lol… i’m seeing that they are working towards a better future for themselves. they don’t want to stay stuck dwelling on the past but they can’t seem to help it sometimes. they are in dire need of shadow work lol. also off topic but y’all have similar energy in some ways. they’re a very creative person aswell and i was just getting that you could meet them through creative projects.. perhaps through work or some sort of activity. i’m also getting that their energy seems very feminine??? but take what resonated obvi!!

oracle: bubble rider

this is just confirming what i said previously. spirit wants to give your person a helping hand and a push of wisdom. they need to start thinking about themselves in the moment because they’re so worried and fixated on other people that they don’t make time for themselves!!! this is something that they really really need to work on and work through because life is going to throw challenges at them and they’re going to have to learn from it. the picture illustrates a girl looking defeated on a bubble and seems to be curled up towards herself. and this is your future spouse's energy. they need to just open up and be apart of the moment be apart of the world. they need to not be afraid of a little bit of challenge in their life because they will come out stronger.

other messages: feminine, wounded, trauma, fake friends, badass, blonde, curves, aries

your fav things abt your fs:

3 of cups: they are somebody who seems to love close relationships with friends and family. they cherish those close connections. i think when they become comfortable with you they open up a side of them you didn’t know existed. they are honestly a totally different person behind closed doors and it’s something you admire. especially how they treat their family and friends you’re just like ‘where have you been all my life?????’

6 of wands: even though your fs isn’t somebody who is really out there and super extroverted they have these really amazing creative ideas and projects that they bring into light and offer to whatever work they’re putting in. and im seeing that people around them are extremely grateful towards them for it because it offers a lot of things and opportunities for others and also benefits the project. this is something that you admire about them is that they’re just extremely intelligent in what they do.

the lovers: i’m seeing this person has a really good balance between feminine and masculine? like it's honestly pretty attractive to you because you’re like “wow i didn’t know it did that” type of energy haha

10 of cups: they’re very grateful for what people give to them and how they receive things. they aren’t somebody who is stuck up, and is childish in things that they want. i’m seeing that especially when it comes to you they’re very protective towards your emotions and feelings because they cherish you greatly. i see that this relationship will be very new to them or it will be different from what they’ve had in the past.

king of cups: wow okay they’re big on protecting. i'm not seeing overprotective but i’m just seeing that they’re very careful with you. like you’re very precious to them and they just never want to hurt you in any way. very black cat energy if i’m being totally honest haha

their fav things abt you:

knight of swords: so like i said earlier you’re go getters if you want something you’re going to get it and there is no stopping you. i’m seeing that you can be assertive and very blunt and they really like that about you. they really like that you don’t give up easily and can stick up for yourself.

7 of wands: again with the assertiveness. your leadership really shows up when it’s needed and you aren’t afraid of change and making change. you’re somebody who likes to bring facts to the table and defend yourself and what you believe in because to you, that’s what is right. your fs really does admire this about you, and it might influence them a little bit to be as strong and confident as you are. i’m seeing that you might be somebody who is big in being an activist and you really like change. maybe in the work place, your daily life, or just the world. it’s something that you strive to do.

ace of swords: when you are given an opportunity you will take it, but not before you sit and think about it. you aren’t the type to just go into an idea blind, you sit and analyze the outcome to things (this is where overworking could come into the picture) and your future spouse again is influenced by this and intrigued and it’s something they admire about you because in their eyes you’re strong.

ace of cups: you are somebody who is able to express lots of self love and practices self love. this is something you and your future spouse might even do together is practice self love. because again you don’t let the hardships of life run you over and ruin you, you get up and live.

the chariot: you’re probably a very spiritual person and if not spiritual it is something intrigues you. and this goes for any religion but it is something that you defend but also aren’t afraid to express and acknowledge. i think your future spouse could find this to be very educational and often asks you about and it’s something that you’re very willing to sit down and talk about. your interests are always extremely interesting to your fs.

their personality:

2 of wands - page of swords - queen of swords - 5 of cups - 3 of cups - 10 of cups

i’m just getting that this person has alot of love to give. like a lot. they might be really romantic or cheesy at times….?? so they are somebody who can very passionate about their interest and would want to tell you all about it. if they have a creative idea they want to be able to fulfill this desire and treat it in any way. i’m seeing that they’re not so much of a go getter like you, but they aren’t afraid to take action towards the things they want. i am seeing though that they don’t open up well and again are very protective of their energy’s. they aren’t quick to tell you what’s wrong with them and it may have to be something you ‘force’ out of them. sometimes they bottle up their feelings wayyyy too much you have to kind of show them the brighter side of things. i do see that they may struggle with mental health issues and this negatively effects them but it isn’t something that effects the relationship. they don’t let their mental health get in the way of the relationship, which is probably why you will probably have to poke them a little bit to hear what’s the matter lol. I really do feel like their weak spot IS family and friends though. this is probably the biggest influence to what they’ve dealt with in the past and so i’m seeing that close family and friends are deeply cherished and respected. they’re somebody who can have a very cheerful and bright attitude around people they’re closest to. it’s a side that you do really like to see because they’re the type to put on a mask in public ykwim?? they’re very good at hiding that side of them.

how they will make you feel:

5 of pentacles - 8 of wands - the lovers - knight of swords - 3 of pentacles

so what i’m getting is that you may feel very confused at times on how your fs feels. i’m seeing this is because they don’t open up, but since you’re very unaware of it you can feel very left in the dark. i’m seeing they don’t intend to do this and you may ask them “did i do something wrong?” it honestly like breaks their heart lol. this is something that they definitely would need to work on. however they’re easily able to redeem themselves. i’m seeing here that they can be very busy but they’re able to make time for you. when they say something they mean it, so if you guys have a planned date and something comes up they are not rescheduling it. they are doing it that day lol. also i’m seeing that they seem to be more of a listener than a talker and this makes you feel very heard. you may be more of a talker and so you think “oh my god i’m talking their ear off” but they love hearing what you have to say. i’m also seeing that they’re very very protective of you. and this makes you feel very grounded and nurtured. maybe you haven’t felt this way in the past and this person just brings you lots of comfort and joy. they also make you feel confident asfffff. i’m seeing at times you can be very insecure and when you express this to them they’re like “excuse me???” because in their eyes you’re the most perfect human being they’ve ever laid their eyes on. this could also be from them being a romantic they show you how beautiful you are to them… iykwim.

their looks:

the hermit - 10 of swords - the hierophant - 7 of cups - 8 of cups - the tower

so immediately i thought abt their eyes. they might have very sleepy looking eyes or they might look “dead”. their eye color too might be a dark dark brown color. i’m seeing that they could have king eyelashes. their eyes are very prominent. i’m seeing that they could bleach their hair? maybe they have naturally dark hair but they bleach it to be white or blonde. im seeing that their hair could be mid length or could be slightly long. guys could be a bit on the longer side and girls could be a little bit shorter. nothing too short or too long. i’m seeing that they might have very very pale skin… like ghost white. 😭 i’m not seeing dark skin. i am seeing them being fairly short. they’re def shorter than you lol. this person skin is also so??? they for sure have a skincare routine. they have this thing where they have to look good. i’m seeing their style might be a bit edgy but it’s a very unique style. they’re not very alternative or gothic just sort of edgy, but they put together their outfits well. i’m seeing they like to at least look nice wherever they’re going they don’t look ‘musty’ or like they don’t shower. they might be the total opposite of you tbh??? like this is a person people are quick to make assumptions about. and you’re sooooo quick to defend them lol. i’m seeing them as very skinny too. i don’t see them working out so much so they could very skinny and scrawny lol. they’re definitely someone people look at, some people find them to be attractive and some seem to assume a lot about them. but at the end of the day you know them for how they truly are. your fav thing abt them is their eyes tho like it won’t leave my head. tbh they’re kind of intimidating to people.

their love language:

the lovers - wheel of fortune - the empress - 8 of swords - the tower - death

your fs might be a bit of gift giver. they like showering you with gifts. they think about you 24/7 and they want you to know that. i do see acts of service being a big one too. they love helping you, they love being there for you. but pile 1 you are a very independent pile. i’m seeing this might be very annoying to you at times cause you’re like “i got it it’s fine” and your fs is like “no no let me help” this might be something you have to tell them annoys you or makes you feel a bit incompetent BECAUSE you feel like you’re being babied or it comes off as them thinking you can’t do it yourself. which is definitely NOT what their intentions are at all. im seeing words of affirmation being another one too; they love giving you compliments they love making you feel better. they are your shoulder to cry on whenever you need it. they just want to be there for you 24/7 365. they’re so down bad it’s making me sick lol

how they will comfort you:

the hermit - 7 of pentacles - 6 of swords - 8 of wands

i’m seeing that whenever you’re going through something in your life mentally you aren’t the type to seek out help so much. and your future spouse understands this and is very patient with you. also when you’re sick too?? i’m seeing you might be a bit of a crybaby when you’re sick lol and it doesn’t bother your future spouse because all they want to do is protect you. i’m seeing that if you were struggling mentally they wouldn’t bother you with questions but they’d let you know they’re there whenever you need them. they understand more than anyone how it feels, so you can go to them and they will listen. they are honestly an amazing listener. they are really good at giving you guidance and offering you good advice when you need it. i’m seeing they’re the type of person who likes to be very factual and blunt without hurting your feelings, and it’s something that does help you grow and learn especially in the relationship.

First Times:

First Meet: 7 of pentacles - Strength

so the setting is outdoorsy?? i’m seeing something again with work and an activity and i’m seeing that your fs may already work there and this is a transition from your old work to working there. i’m seeing that the energy is very tense with this person. i don’t see you two meeting each other immediately i think it’d be one of those you see then from across the room??? you’d make the first move im seeing lol. i’m also seeing that you immediately find them so incredibly attractive and may ask around about them and to them you don’t catch their eye as much. they could be single when you first meet though but they aren’t really thinking about a relationship.

First Date: 8 of wands - 8 of swords

so i’m ngl i’m getting such awkward energy hahaha i’m seeing that you’re going to feel very excited but also very anxious. this date may be all your idea and so you’re trying your best to woo them lol. i’m seeing also that your person might come off as uninterested at first but believe me they’re just as nervous as you are. i’m seeing they’re trying to impress you as best they can but they’re so awkward lol you’re going to find it very cute. i’m seeing that this date will be very intimate but it will be in a social setting. so i’m seeing that a nice little restaurant. i’m also seeing this could be a thing you guys do at the end of the day?? tbh something you’d see on tv. so a little cliche but also very very romantic. also i’m just seeing so many smiles and love eyes???? y’all are cheesy stop it

First Kiss: Ace of cups - 3 of pentacles

this is so funny to me because both of y’all will initiate the kiss. yk how and please try to understand this, you know how sometimes with first kisses one person initiates the kiss and it’s either a hit or miss. you and your fs will be so down bad that y’all will just feel the energy. like good lord just make out already pls i can’t take this tension. i’m seeing that one of you will start to lean in and the other person is like “hell yea” and they lean in too. like y’all can read each others minds istg y’all are so in tune with each other. your first kiss can be when y’all are alone together?? maybe when yall are having a deep conversation and you guys just bond over something. y’all are so in love at this moment i’m just… wow.

their shadow side:

page of cups - 6 of wands - page of pentacles - 2 of wands - 3 of cups - king of pentacles - knight of pentacles - 9 of swords

i’m seeing that this person can be very selfish. i’m only seeing that this selfish side comes out during conflict. i’m seeing they can be a major know it all about things and can be very “i’m right youre wrong” they can be very childish in the way they think and can be very hard headed. i’m seeing that they have this energy especially when they’re stressed out too, that you really can’t get them to stop thinking like this unless you really humble them. i’m seeing when they’re angry it’s just them acting very childish and very selfish and this can be something that you talk to them about. they’re not necessarily like it towards you but they can definitely be that way towards other people. im seeing they can very childish in what they say if they get into an argument with you, but it’s one of those things where you talk to them like an adult and it snaps them back to reality. they definitely need a reality check from time to time ngl…

Extra Messages!!:

Shaman: keyword: Teacher

trust in divine timing. trust that things are working out towards you and your future spouse. don’t try to rush things, and definitely don’t try to undermine any of spirits work. the universe is working in your favor, so remember to thank the universe everyday. you and your future spouse will be able to heal each others energy and heal that inner child. don’t lose this once in a lifetime connection.

Memory: your past life may be very battled and torn. try to reconcile with your past self and find what parts of you do really need the healing. don’t be afraid of feeling those emotions you buried deep down, they are meant to find you in this lifetime.

Very Soon: You may meet this person very soon or in a matter of a few months. don’t rush this connection. this person will make their way to you when you BOTH are ready. disappointment will only lead you to failure, be grateful for what the universe has to offer you.

what chakra is their weakest: Heart Chakra

what chakra is their strongest: solar plexus chakra

extra key: earth sign, lilac, quartz, past life regression, outside activity, gold, aventurine, yellow jade, yes, african american, you already know them, white, black, foreign, green eyes, 1111, 5555, 9999, street style

your song: let the light in - lana del rey

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

PILE 2

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your current energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

knight of pentacles - queen of swords - king of cups - the sun

i’m getting that you are a very mature pile. i’m seeing that you’re very intelligent as well. in school you may be honor roll or have been offered many scholarships. i’m seeing that you have a lot of emotional stability. you’re very wise in how you talk to others and people often find themselves coming to you for advice. i’m seeing you may be a bit of a therapist haha i’m also seeing that you could be very wealthy or come from a wealthy family?? or you are just really good with money?? some of you want to be a lawyer…? you’re such a balanced calm energy pile 2 i feel so safe in your presence. you could be very attractive too?? like i see a lot of people have their eyes on you. you’re not afraid of expressing your boundaries to people as well, and i see you’re very careful with who you consider close friends. you have a very positive outlook on life. you’re very good at manifesting too.

oracle: too many dragons

you may have been drawn to pile 1. i see you are a very hardworking pile. you are somebody who is constantly busy constantly doing something. i see that you live off a routine and a schedule, and you’re the type to not be so big with change and getting out of routine. i think this can often scare you and stress you out. don’t be afraid of a little change once in a while. change is good! spirit wants you to be able to express sides of yourself without fear and without embarrassment and disappointment. it’s okay to be a little silly at times, you don’t always need to be serious.

other messages: leo, dark hair, brown hair; freckles, sharp brows, curly hair, tanned skin, dark skin, long fingers, muscles, working out, 1212

their energy:

ace of swords - five of wands - seven of pentacles - the sun

i’m seeing that you and your future spouse are honestly very similar in ways. i’m seeing that’s how you two really bond and connect is because you both have shared interests and can connect on things like that together. i’m seeing your fs can be a little… sassy. they have a little bit of an attitude to them and tend to get into conflict easily. i’m seeing that you might actually really like this about them because you find it cute. it’s just small things they do. they may make sassy remarks that makes you turn your head like “what did you just say?” this person also might be opposite to you when it comes to money. i see they may like a little bit of a shopping spree… and aren’t so good at saving money like you. this is something that you could easily teach them and help them work out. i’m also seeing that your future spouse could be very spiritual. i’m seeing they could be into tarot and astrology and if not that they are big on religion. this could be something you two bond over as well.

oracle: when fairies go bad

i’m seeing that your future spouse is somebody who hides alot of things. this might be a bit of a shock when they mention something that has negatively affected them in the past. they’re somebody who can put up a front and seem like they’re absolutely perfect and then they open up to you and you’re like “i would’ve never expected this” and this is exactly their goal they hate when people try to read them. i’m seeing that they are very protective over themselves and their energy and so theyre not exactly willing to open up completely. this is something they need to work on and control because keeping secrets and hiding things especially from you could cause conflict and issues in the future. even if they have no bad intentions.

other messages: leo, earth sign, green eyes, dark skin, white teeth, vampire fangs???, childlike

your fav things abt your fs:

the fool: your future spouse is able to get up and have fun. it’s never a dull moment with them because they’re just full of so much energy and they’re able to have fun wherever they are. if you have an idea or want to go out with them they are more than willing to do it. i see that they love adventures and love seeing what the world has to offer them. they may be really connected with nature.

temperance: again what i was saying earlier i’m seeing that your person could be very spiritual or very religious in some way. i see they love to talk about their beliefs and offer guidance, and they’re not annoying about it at all. but when you ask them questions about it, they become very passionate and go on little rants and tangents lol. i’m seeing that to you this offers you lots of wisdom and knowledges you in many ways because you see the world differently in their eyes. they may be a pisces?? or have pisces in their chart.

eight of wands: i’m seeing that your person is very extroverted and very social. i’m seeing that they have alot of friends and this is because they’re able to bond with a lot of people and this is how they keep friendships. they’re really good at carrying conversations and even starting them. they aren’t afraid to take the lead in things. you are often wowed by how well they’re able to connect with complete strangers, and this is just like mind blowing to you. i see you may be a bit of an ambivert (some of you) so this person takes the lead in some convos. sometimes you can’t even get a word in! lol

the star: your person is so so so confident and comfortable in their own skin. the card illustrates a cat knocking over a glass full of water, and this to me resembles how they just don’t let stuff get in their way. they don’t let the bad parts of the world negatively affect their way of living. they take this as a way of growth and they take this as a challenge. they love the feeling of adrenaline they get when they do something. but you will admire how this person carries themselves. because they have no care in the world. they put themselves first because they know that the world will never stop for them. this person is just wow their energy is so healing and so balanced. they’re literally the definition of the sun.

the tower: this is just continuing from what i was saying previously. change is possible. to you, you need to follow a routine and if something changes it may feel like the end of the world to you. but to them. they love change. they admire change. change is what keeps them going. they like to live on the wild side a bit, they like to step out of their comfort zone, they’re the type to say yolo (😭) they aren’t afraid to be a little dangerous because they find routines and schedules to be boring. they honestly might have gotten into trouble at school sometimes??? just got that little message there haha

their fav things abt you:

(i wasn’t going to do it but y’all got an extra card lol)

four of cups: your person honestly loves that you have a routine and a schedule you follow. to them it makes you seem very intelligent and mature. they also like the differing aspects of you hating change and them loving it because… they want to spice up your life a bit. you might be very bored in life when you meet this person that you step out of your own comfort zone and let them lead the way. they want to show you the world in a totally different perspective.

six of swords: you’re somebody who isn’t afraid to show your sensitive side and be emotional. since you are very comfortable with yourself and aren’t afraid to open up. this person isn’t so comfortable with showing their vulnerable side because they like to put up a front at times, but you don’t. you don’t people judge you for how you’re feeling because they’re feelings. they really like when they see all these sides of you because it reminds them of how human you are.

ten of pentacles: like i said previously some of you may be very wealthy and some of this could be inherited from your family. and if you aren’t wealthy i am seeing for a lot of you, you’re good with saving money and spending money correctly. im seeing that your fs really loves how well you take care of your money and don’t spend it all in one go (unlike them…😬) i’m seeing that you’re also very humble and not cocky at all. especially with how some of you may be very wealthy or just because you can take care of your money well, they like how you don’t shove it down people’s throats. you’re a very humble person.

ace of wands: i’m seeing you coming home to your spouse and just telling them about your day and all of these ideas and opportunities you were given and you telling them your input that you thought about and at the end of it they’re just jaw dropped. like you’re so intelligent in their eyes because you see the world in such a unique way. they would have never thought of it like that, iykwim.

knight of cups: you’re literally their ideal type. you’re everything they’ve ever wished for and more. i’m seeing that when you come into their life they’re just astounded on how somebody like you actually exists. like in their mind they manifested you cause there’s no way lol. i’m seeing that you’re just somebody they’ve always wanted and so some of you they may be lowkey obsessed cause they don’t want to lose you, but others of you they’re just so madly in love haha

the chariot: i’m seeing that you’re somebody who likes to move fast. you don’t stop for anybody, and this is one of the many things that you and your spouse relate to is you both just keep on moving. this is often because of your routine that life just begins to be one endless cycle so obviously the world moves a lot quicker, but either way you don’t slow down you like that when an idea or opportunity happens you take it.

their personality:

the lovers - queen of swords - king of cups - eight of swords - five of pentacles - four of cups - page of wands

they are big on standing up for themselves and others. they are the type of person who isn’t afraid to say anything, which is why they tend to get into a lot of conflict. i’m seeing that this person tends to be loud and isn’t the type to secretly talk crap abt somebody behind their back. they say it to their face. your spouse is confrontational fs. but they do this for the ones they love. it isn’t attention seeking or trying to be center of attention, it’s them protecting their loved ones from any evil energy’s. they hear one bad thing about you and they’re either trying to find out every little detail abt this person to ruin their life or they’re face to face abt to fight. they’re not intimidating but you really don’t want to get on their bad side lol. they also can have such a soft side to them. besides the extroverted behavior they are capable of relaxing and really listening into others feelings and energy. it might come as a surprise but they have a lot of wisdom of their own to share. they again aren’t big on opening up and tend to hide their feelings from you and others, they hate being perceived as weak. they are very adventurous and very impulsive at times, but they know how to have fun.

how they will make you feel:

knight of pentacles - the hierophant - ten of swords - four of pentacles - the hanged man

i see that you may often be discredited for your work and can feel very unheard and unseen by people around you. i see that your ideas are often extremely important and extremely helpful to your community but it’s seen by jealous eyes. this is why your work is pushed down. your spouse is so supportive in everything you do. i see that they will listen to every.single.idea. you have. i see that they will make you feel very heard and seen, and at some point their opinion is the only one you care about. they will make you feel secure and understood, i’m seeing that they are one to validate your feelings. they don’t ever want to make you feel invalidated and often try to understand every side to an argument. i’m seeing that they are somebody who will definitely make you surrender these dark thoughts and trade them into more hopeful feelings. i’m seeing that they might even offer you shadow work ideas… they will bring you lots of faith and i see this will benefit you greatly.

their looks:

the hermit - the fool - death - five of swords - queen of pentacles - nine of swords

so i’m seeing dark skin and hair. somebody who may have hair that is pretty short. so maybe girls are short guys are a bit long but both prefer their hair shorter. some of you they may like to dye it a dark color. mostly seeing dark brown. i’m seeing they have a very innocent look to them, they look very youthful? they may be younger than you or they just take really good care of their skin and their body. again i was seeing they like to work out and may have some muscles to them. sleeper build?? i don’t see their style being very edgy, unlike pile 1 they’re very into brighter colors. and even then they might like very toned colors. especially colors that compliment their skin and hair. i’m seeing that they may have a bit of an rbf. suuupperrr strong aura people are attracted to this person because of their aura. i’m seeing that they may also look confused all the time (???) like the lights are on but nobody’s home haha. i’m also seeing that they could have a large nose or their nose is very prominent? nice smile. good cheekbones too. i’m seeing that they could be fairly feminine or they are more comfortable in their feminine side. i’m seeing that they’re short asf tho definitely shorter than you. actually some of you might be the same height…. they will never be taller than you that’s for sure. so either same height - shorter. their neck???? something abt their neck you really like i- idk. some of you really like their legs too, they don’t skip leg day. could have a noticeable scar somewhere??? on the face or arms… they look so innocent and cute to people but then they open their mouth and people are wishing they never thought that lol you love your fs though this doesn’t bother you ahsha could also be younger than you. pouty lips too? their chin might be a bit prominent aswell. slim face.

their love language:

the tower - four of wands - queen of cups - 2 of wands - ten of swords

physical touch 110% this person love love loves touching you. hugging you, kissing you, etc they have to have their hands on you 24/7. they try not to be annoying but they can’t help it they’re so down bad for you. i’m ngl i’m seeing ‘that one couple in line at the fair’ iykyk … they love physical touch im seeing them wrapping their arms around you when you’re doing something. some of you they hold onto your waist when out in public, they let people know you’re taken that’s for sure. words of affirmation. this is especially seen when they notice you’re stressed or something is bothering you, they shower you with affirmations to make you feel better. they try to cheer you up by making you laugh… some of you this will not work but i’m seeing that they try anyways haha. theyre very into flirting with you too, i see any chance they get they flirt with you. they like to make you flustered in public. i’m seeing they whisper things into your ear when you’re out and it catches you off guard, they like to see you looking red in the face or shocked because it makes them want to do it more lol.

how they will comfort you:

five of wands - 2 of cups - queen of pentacles - six of cups

again with the words of affirmation, i’m seeing that you can overthink really badly over things and can feel very overwhelmed and your fs will do everything in their power to cheer you up. they love to tell you everything they love about you, everything they cherish about you etc. i’m seeing that literally NEVER want to see you get hurt. in their eyes you’re the most precious thing to them, and if anything were to happen to you they will feel like it’s the end of the world. like you stub your toe or something and suddenly they’re carrying you to bed, making your favorite dinner, etc. like they’re so down bad this is sickening. lol. i’m also seeing that they are very blunt to you about things, they let you know if you’re in the wrong abt something, they might be a tough love type of person. they want to make you feel secure and keep that positive mindset but they also don’t want you to get too in your head about things. i’m seeing that you will feel so much better after you rant to them about something because they’re just so good at correlating their words.

First times:

First Meet: Ace of swords - the high priestess

so i feel like most of pile 2 might meet their fs online. on a dating app or some type of social media. it could be you who finds them first, or them who finds you first idk. but i am seeing that you guys will immediately hit it off. like the energy is very calm and relaxed. this brings me back to saying y’all have shared interests because you definitely do. and you two will probably bond really quickly like “oh you look this too? let’s meet up rn” like LMAO y’all are just both certain this is the right person for you. i see you both will be laughing a lot when you meet and alot of smiles. you might find your fs to be really funny?? like they’re probably a naturally funny person and it’s a plus to you. like green flag for sure.

First Date: judgement - ace of cups

so for your first date i’m seeing somewhere outdoors OR an arcade or somewhere where you can do lots of things. i’m seeing that the energy here is very vibrant and fun. you both will be smiling alot and having a great time and it’s just an overall fun experience. i do see there being major tension between the two of you and i think it’s because you two just know you’re meant for each other. like i wouldn’t be surprised if y’all started dating after your first date because the love is just there. y’all will find out so much about each other because you guys just feel so comfortable in each others energy.

First Kiss: The magician - the emperor

so definitely seeing you initiating the kiss. the emperor card literally screams “do it” like i see you hesitating to kiss them but spirit will be screaming in your ear “do it do it do it” like chanting LMAO. i see that you might catch them off guard when you kiss them, you might have your hand on their cheek/jaw. or they will. i’m seeing that they could have been talking about something or busy and then boom you give them a big ol smooch. i see the energy and feelings are mutual and they will kiss back cause in their heads they’re saying “hell yea” LMAO. like they’ve been waiting ages for you to kiss them, they def weren’t going to make the first move lolz.

their shadow side:

temperance - king of cups - six of cups - the lovers - five of cups - queen of pentacles

i’m seeing your future spouse can honestly be extremely childish and immature. i keep hearing the word ‘mean’. they can say things that make you go “why did you just say that?” cause it could have been disrespectful or just something incredibly hurtful. i’m seeing that they are mostly this way towards themselves tho. you will often see them being extremely ill towards themselves and saying mean things about themselves and you’re like “why are you saying this about yourself?” because on the outside they like to be seen as happy and perfect but behind closed doors they can be insecure. pile 2 some of you do want to have a family and kids, but your fs may have a hard time coming to terms with this. i think they may have some generational trauma and so they’ve grown into this person now and they may be exactly like the person who gave them this trauma. iykwim. they either 1) don’t want to be a parent just because or 2) don’t want to be a parent because they know they’ll be just like the person who raised them. not all of you but some of y’all’s fs may say things in spite of the moment. during arguments they can be extremely childish and immature and say things to hurt your feelings. (this is a really unhealthy thing in a relationship so definitely if this is happening talk to them about it. y’all don’t deserve that type of energy from anyone.)

Extra Messages !!:

The Oldest Fairy: so i’m seeing that you might be afraid of losing this youthful side to you, and you may be afraid of getting older. im seeing that spirit wants you to know that you shouldn’t be afraid of getting older and maturing, your fs will be put into your life so that you don’t lose this childish side to you. they will show you parts of you that you’ve never seen before. don’t be afraid of getting older.

Love: y’all are literally the cutest. i’ve been cheesing this entire reading because you two are inseparable. y’all are meant to be. y’all are perfect for each other. this love is once in a lifetime. this love is infinite. even after death your love for one another will stay known. you guys may have had a past life together because you two are so familiar and so in tune with each others energy it’s insane. you might not have been in many or any relationships pile 2 so this relationship is very new it feels very new and very raw and it will show you the world in such a magical way. y’all are precious stop.

Let Go of Control Issues: allow this situation to unfold naturally. i didn’t put this in the shadow side but they might have some control issues. but you also. i’m getting that you’re really urging and pulling this relationship to happen NOW but spirit says it needs to wait. don’t rush things pile 2 the universe knows that when you receive this love you won’t be disappointed.

what chakra is their weakest: heart chakra

what chakra is their strongest: crown chakra

your song: nervous - Shawn Mendes

extra key: water sign, rose, rose quartz, opal, aventurine, clear quartz, 222, blonde, brunette, dyed hair, air sign, earth sign, few years 1-5, green eyes, twin flame, lives close to that area, from that area, 666, 555, 1212, 3333, 9999, 5555, street style, no, gemini, scorpio

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

PILE 3

your energy check in:

these are clarifying cards for you and your currently energy, this helps me connect to you further and also makes sure this reading is right for you! <3

eight of wands - mother of swords - the sun - eight of swords

you seem to be a very optimistic pile 3. i’m seeing that you went through intense struggles in your life, you went through soooo much in the past and you’re finally transitioning into this happier and more sustainable way of living. i’m seeing a lot of you are divinely protected. whether you realize it or not you are protected. and not just from the divine but people around you, you have a whole army behind you pile 3. i’m not saying it’s impossible for bad things to happen to you, but it will take a lot of work because the universe is not letting this energy come back into your life. pile 3 you feel so comfortable in your skin. you feel so balanced and you feel finally understood and finally seen. you don’t feel broken, and forgotten about, and misunderstood. people are finally seeing you for who you truly are. you are able to get up in the mornings and actually live life. i do see you still struggle with having to live with the memories of what happened to you in the past. it seems that though you’ve healed or are currently healing you still live with this haunting memory or you just find yourself reliving those moments again. remember that spirit is always with you and you will always have somebody there. you aren’t alone 🤍

oracle: reflections

pile 3 shadow work is so beneficial for you. in this time you are feeling stuck, confused, lost, drained at moments. and this is because there is something within yourself that you need to change. change is your best option. don’t be scared to let go of things that no longer serve you. they’re in the past. they hold you no greater good. they formed you into the person you are today, but that doesn’t mean it needs to stay in your life. sticking with the original plans is a good idea, but don’t be afraid to switch things up. you control this part of your life now, nobody else. let this ego go.

extra messages: dark hair, eyeliner, pigtails, full lips, leo, trauma, mama, gothic, curvy, earth sign, fire sign

their energy:

daughter of pentacles - father of cups - three of pentacles - the devil

okay like. let me go on a rant really quickly. pile 3 y’all are one tough bunch. y’all have been through SHIT. and guess what? so has your future spouse. pile 2 i was talking about how they will bond over personal interests like music, hobbies, etc. pile 3 y’all are sooooo different. i see that it’s one of those things where nobody else understood you except each other. you have grown through hell and back, and so has your future spouse. you will find yourself so amazed that somebody like this has gone through so much, and they’d think the same thing. y’all might meet through group therapy tbh but that might be stretching it. anywho your person is definitely an empath. they feel everyone’s emotions x10. they can read people sooooo well?? they can read people like an open book. i’m seeing they might be very masculine and you might be very feminine. they’re very sensitive and can take things personally lol. bad coping mechanism ngl. i see that they can have a very toxic mindset towards things and be seen as pessimistic, this can be a turn off to you when you meet them. i think you can understand why they feel this way once you get to know them better.

oracle: fairies

i’m seeing your future spouse can have a very unique look to them. their style may be odd to strangers, something about the way they present themselves could be perceived as weird or ‘different’ to people. i’m seeing to you this person is very different from your past. they aren’t so much your type, but i do see that you connect with them in some way. i see maybe their personality is what makes them more attractive to you andddd they are so sweet?? like they’re absolutely precious lolz they could be a hippie tbh… or something similar to it.

extra message: long blonde hair, no sleep, pale skin, water sign, pisces, cancer, capricorn, scorpio, 1212

your fav things about them:

five of cups: this card is normally a very sad card but the energy im getting is that you love how far theyve come. you love that they never gave up and theyre here with you now. i’m seeing that they open up to you about alot of things they struggle with and they tell you when theyre not feeling their best and you appreciate that. you look up to them pile 3.

the hanged man: you like how they like to view every perspective of a situation. i see that theyre somebody who puts time and effort into things, and when things don’t work out people can’t tell them “they didn’t try”. your future spouse loves to put in effort into things and relationships.

four of pentacles: you enjoy how theyre they are. it gives you some hope for the world. you’re really good at working with others, and can be somewhat of a people person. (might even say post people pleaser??) they might be big multitasker, and this is like somewhat amazing to them cause youre like “whatttt…???”

two of cups: they treat you so well. they make you feel so loved and appreciated. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before. they show you what true love actually is. you may have been betrayed in the past by someone who you thought you could trust (who you might have been dating). i see you are very protective of your energy and when they come into your life they show you that the love you had before wasn’t real. you feel very safe with them.

six of pentacles: they like to spoil you tbh. i don’t see them being somebody with alot of money, but they do try to gift you things. i just saw somebody plucking a flower and gifting it to their spouse. them with you tbh. you love how well they treat you (like i said before) they just want to give you the world is all i’m seeing because they hate hate hate seeing you down. they’re soooo protective of you.

their fav things about you:

king of cups: when you meet them you will be very grounded and this will stay. you may already be very grounded but i’m just seeing like… you have so much balance in your life once you meet this person. this person honeslty is the cherry on top. they will love how you’re able to include them into your life, but also be very independent. i see they may struggle with being a tad bit dependent at times, and so they view you as sort of their grounding.

nine of swords: pile 3 do you like to journal or write?? i see some of you that could be a hobby of yours. your future spouse adores this. they will never overstep your boundaries, but if you ever wanted to share a little bit of your knowledge/hobby with them they are zoned in. they LOVE hearing about your special interests.

the world: pile 3 arent y’all some dreamers. i swear y’all live in the clouds. you also are a very grateful in a lot of things. you may have close relationships with family and they enjoy it. they love seeing this nurturing side of you. they love seeing how careful and gentle you can be.

son of pentacles: you’re very wise in the sense of finances and business? some of you might be really good in your work or you are just extremely wise in the way you handle situations. i see you guys can receive lots of luck. you may be very lucky. you future spouse actually really likes this lol. they like how lucky you are cause they believe that you deserve it.

son of swords: pile 3 yall might be a little intimidating…. but your future spouse??? tbh. it turns them on a little bit. like. they love seeing this scary side to you??? they love when you get defensive and protective. they might be very deer in headlights and you're very saber tooth tiger (literally just a random animal i thought of ngl??) they like feeling protected and safe with you, and likes seeing that darker side you have.

their personality:

the sun - six of pentacles - daughter of wands - three of swords - the tower - the lovers

okay so first off i heard they might be a bit of a hoarder… that goes for some. anywho. this person is such a damaged energy. they’ve gone through so much shit in their life. the three of swords makes me think that they were betrayed by close friends?? and this is because your person really loves helping people. they love being there for people. they might do charity work? or they do some type of fundraiser? it brings them bliss, joy, it warms their heart to see people getting the help they need. goodness pile 3 your future spouse is suuuppppeeerrrr sensitive. i literally just seen them in the verge of tears 24/7. like you’re somebody who’s really tough and might hide your emotions well… yea not ur spouse. they are so close to breaking down lolz. they love hugs by the way. i’m seeing they just have so much love to give? they are the type of person to put others happiness before their own, which is probably why they were betrayed in the past. they are def a people pleaser at times, this is something they need to work on. they really just want to be there for everybody, and is just an extreme empath with a lot of big kid emotions. i don’t see you finding this annoying, but i do see them crying over cute animal vids and you’re just looking at them confused haha

how they will make you feel:

the magician - death - the empress - two of pentacles - three of wands - seven of cups

pile 3 let me just say i love y’all’s connection. everything about this relationship has my heart melting. i didn’t do this for the other two piles but i felt the urge to read bottom of the deck energy and when i flipped it over boom the wheel of fortune. pile 3 your connection will feel too good to be true. you’ll feel like you’re in a dream. some of you might lucid dream a lot im seeing. this connection will feel so unreal, so close, so intimate. when i saw the magician card i thought “oh they balance each others energy” book the two of pentacles came out. sooo many clarifications from spirit. when i saw the death card i heard your future spouse literally saying “change is good for you”. you guys are tied together. i was getting twin flame energy but tbh i feel like y’all are lowkey soulmates. y’all are meant to be together in this time and many times after that. you two only understand each other. i see that you guys are so raw and authentic and real. pile 2 their fs keeps secrets from them, not you pile 3. you and your fs lets you see every single side of themselves. y’all aren’t afraid to be human. this connection has lasted lifetimes, you don’t care how angry or how dramatic the other person can be because this love you two have is strong. yk how some people it’s an ick when somebody acts a certain way??? yea you guys literally don’t care. you will love each other just as much as you did yesterday and more. you make each other feel so complete. you make each other feel so balanced. you open up to each other and break down these walls y’all built up all those years ago. you are so real with this person and it makes you feel so emotional because you know that only they could understand you. i love this pile so much stop

their looks:

three of swords - temperance - eight of pentacles - six of swords - ace of wands - the magician

so i’m seeing if they have light skin or pale skin their hair is darker, and if they have darker skin their hair is lighter?? and not even just white or blonde hair like they probably dye it a brighter color. im seeing they have pin straight hair or really loose curls. some have wavy hair but it’s mostly straight hair vibes tbh. i’m seeing that in the winter they may wear brighter colors, but in the fall,spring, and summer they wear darker colors lol??? okay so listen to me on this, but im seeing that they look lowkey dead. like pile 1 i was talking abt how their eyes look like dead/sleepy your person lowkey looks like a zombie. (and no nothing bad to why they look like this, some of them just look like that) but this isnt saying they don’t take care of themselves. they do take care of themselves 100%. im seeing that their nose might be fairly big? their lips might be very small too. some of them have piercing blue eyes. like bright blue. others have honey or hazel. nothing too dark i’m seeing. could be super super skinny. long fingers?? they’re tall too? might be taller than you. people aren’t intimidated by this person at all, i see people think they look very innocent and nice. like they just have this very sweet look to them tbh. i see people can tell this person has gone through stuff too, i see they might be a bit of a target at times and other times people are really careful with them. i see this is definitely odd one out energy, people perceive this person as different.

their love language:

the sun - nine of cups - the moon - father of swords - daughter of cups

acts of service for sure they want to GIVE TO YOUUU. they want to help you out in any way they can. literally will give you foot rubs(??) i’m seeing they will cook for you. so gift giving by be one too. i’m seeing they just want to help you out in any way. definitely loves quality time as well. this is somebody who will find comfort in just complete silence with you. they will hold you while they watch tv or read, and while you’re doing something else. they just want to be in your presence. i see them being a really good listener to your rants too. but it’s balanced cause you listen to them really well too. y’all are so comfortable with each other this is adorable. they also know all of your favorite things??? you might idk like to crochet and this person will find something for you to crochet, or they will buy you a crochet pin or like a magnet that says something abt crochet on it idk LMAO they want to let you know that they do actually care what you have to say to them. they are really good at showing it haha

how they will comfort you:

three of pentacles - six of swords - nine of pentacles - the magician

they want to try and take you out if you’re not feeling good mentally. you may want to stay inside and not do anything and your fs is like “uh no? you’re going to get your butt up and we’re gonna cheer you up” they know keeping you cooped up won’t make you feel better. if you’re sick this person will treat you like a god/goddess. they will make sure you are being fed well, you’re getting the right medicine at the right time, etc. when you’re sick it’s like terrible to them. some of them might be a germaphobe tbh. i’m seeing that they do like to take care of you. you feel like you’re burdening them but remember they love to help people. when you’re feeling under the weather or not good mentally they’re here for you 110%. they also might try and spoil you a little bit to make you feel better. they will literally do whatever you want haha

First Times:

First Meet: four of swords - mother of cups

i saw a museum? somewhere very calm and relaxed and where your emotions can run freely. somewhere where art can be or is expressed. could meet in a garden? or somewhere extremely colorful there is a lot of color. im seeing that you two will be very drawn towards each other but you both will be too nervous to come up and say anything lol. i am seeing you may be introduced to each other by a friend? that might be how you kick off the convo and then boom y’all are obsessed with each other. i think your spouse might offer a date idea near the end of the convo… 👀

First Date: two of wands - the moon

ok ok so im gonna take the moon card literally and say that y’all might stargaze on your first date. but this would be after the actual start of the date. y’all will definitely go somewhere outdoors. y’all might meet around the summer time. a lot of fairs happen in the summer time and im just seeing that happening ngl. y’all will go somewhere where a lot of people are present, but it feels like it’s just the two of you. this date will be soooo nerve wracking to both of you. so many awkward giggles and awkward movements. this is like teenage love, like holding their hand for the first time. you’ll feel very young with this person. i do see y’all not wanting this date to end so you go stargazing… some of you not all. but you both really just want to stay in each others energy for ever.

First Kiss: the chariot - mother of swords

okay i’m not going to lie, i wasn’t going to say it but i felt like you were going to have your first kiss on your first day and these cards kind of clarified that. i do feel like this relationship might move a bit fast for you pile 3 but there is so much passion between you two. like i am seeing you two lowkey having your first kiss really quickly if not on your first date. i’m seeing this doesn’t scare either of you because you both have so much love for each other. it’s honestly extremely intimate, i’m seeing that this kiss will last a long time and you both won’t really stop kissing hahah. i’m not seeing you two getting into a relationship immediately though… some of you yes others of you it will take just some time. but i do see this first kiss happening fairly quickly and neither of you are disappointed. tension tension tension.

their shadow side:

four of swords - ten of wands - son of wands - the star - the magician - eight of swords - daughter of pentacles - the empress

okay so this is somebody who can be very conflicting?? they might confuse you sometimes on how they’re feeling and this can annoy you. this person has alot of blockage in their life. they are stuck right now and will continue to be, in seeing that they have a lot of people against them? they might be somebody who uses their emotions as an excuse sometimes. and this can be really hurtful cause it can be seen as very manipulative. they are somebody who is extremely emotional and extremely in tune with you and nature but they just have this really dark side to them. they are somebody who doesn’t really change alot about themselves. it’s ironic cause they tell you that change is a good thing and that change can help you, but they refuse to change themselves.

Extra Messages!!:

Book Fairy: don’t be afraid to go out and try something new don’t be afraid to try new things and do something different in your life. something that challenges your intellect and makes you really think. change change change. you and your fs will explore these types of changes together. they’re i’ll definitely be the type to show you the world in many different ways.

Joy: you’re able to view the world in a positive way. you are able to go out and have fun. don’t let people places or things stop you from living life. the only person that should matter to you is you. be open to receiving joy and happiness in your life.

Worth Waiting For: divine timing is at work in your love life. this relationship is something that will change your life for only good reasons. i am seeing that this will bring you lots of abundance and clarity and you will feel at home with this person. there is no i’ll energy towards this connection, you two are meant for each other.

what chakra is their weakest: root chakra

what chakra is their strongest: heart chakra

your song: I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Extra Key: 333,444, air/earth/water, marigold, carnelian, dioptase, sunstone, red jasper, aventurine, white, green eyes, grey hair, from that area, 444, 5555, 777, 2222, casual style, street style, NO, fire sign, gemini, in a while 5+

thank you so so much for allowing me to give you this read and offer guidance on your future spouse! i hope this reading brought you some clarity and opened your eyes about this person. good luck on your journey with love and please like + repost !! <3 feedback is greatly appreciated 🤍

[dudeshusband]

Title: They Say A Man Should Never Cry

Ship: Mike x Dude

Words: 600

Warnings: Just period typical gender role talk.

Description: Dude worries Mike does too much for him.

Dude watched his spouse Mike as they sewed up one of the holes he’d worn into one of his shirts. They had done so much for him for the past few years. Sometimes he wondered whether he offered them anything at all. Sometimes, he felt like such a burden with all they wanted to do for him. Really, he was a man capable of doing these things himself, as he regularly told them. Still, they insisted on patching his shirt and making all of his meals. If they were in a particular mood, they’d insist on washing his hair and shaving him. He worried sometimes, in the back of his mind, that he would wear them down. They had endured the brunt of his alcoholism four years ago. Somehow, they still wanted him, and still wanted to take care of him. 

“I can patch up my own shirt,” Dude said. 

Mike shook their head. “I’d do it better.” 

“You don’t have to-” 

Mike cut him off. “I want to.” 

Dude rubbed his face. “Honey, I don’t- Look, I appreciate it. I just don’t want you to think I’m helpless-” 

Mike scoffed. “Helpless! I don’t think you’re helpless.” 

He sighed. “I don’t want you wearin’ yourself out, is all.” 

Mike lowered the needle, thread, and his shirt. “Wearing myself out?” 

“I don’t want…I’m a man. I can take care of myself.” 

They frowned. “I know. If you don’t want me to help you, just say so. I can stop.” 

Dude’s heart sank. “I didn’t mean- oh, damn it! I don’t want you to think you have to take care of me. I don’t want to burden you. I’ve been a big burden, to everybody, all these years.” 

Mike shook their head and looked at him almost sternly. “You’re not a burden. I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. You’re a man. I know that. I know what you’re capable of. You’re brave, and you’re strong. You don’t need me to cook for you or patch your shirts. But you know what else you are? A man who has been through a lot. You’re not alone anymore. You’re not some lonesome deputy sheriff who needs to be tough all the time. You’re not Chance. Don’t push me away.” 

Dude frowned. “Mike…I’m not…I’m not pushin’ you anywhere. I just don’t…want to be too much for you. I wasn’t raised to be…loved like this. You know…I always thought I’d have a wife, some kids. She’d cook, like a woman does. She’d keep the house clean. She’d rear the kids. I’d work our land ‘til the boys got old enough. But I’d be a man. I’d do my own shaving. I’d take my own baths, alone. I’d do the cuddlin’, and the kissin’. I’d always be…dominant in my own bedroom. Nobody’d ever see me lonely or scared. I’d be the man of my house.” 

Mike bit their lip. “Do you want me to be more…wifely?”

“That’s just it, honey. I need you to take care of me. I need you to take the lead. I need you to kiss my forehead and dry my tears. I need everything you do for me. I need you to love me. I don’t want to need all that but I do.” 

“Why don’t you?” 

He looked down. He didn’t want to come off more vulnerable than he already was. “I’m afraid you’ll leave me for a stronger man sometimes.” 

Mike placed a hand on Dude’s face. “Stronger man? Dude, sweetheart, you are the strongest man I know. You don’t have to be some hardass to be a man. You’re a good man, Dude. You’re a force to be reckoned with, you know that? I wouldn’t leave you for any man in the whole United States of America.” 

“You think too much of me.” 

Mike kissed him. “I’m right. Now, I have a shirt to finish.” 

Mike returned to sewing up Dude’s shirt. He looked at them with gentle eyes, wondering how he ever got so lucky. 

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Your first hug/physical display of affection"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about what may lead you and your person to share your first physical display of affection, and of what type it may be. romantic partner includes: current partner, future spouse/partner, destined person. it won't be a romantic partner for everyone probably, but we'll find out during the readings. thanks @treesletters for the suggestion!

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4

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pile 1

I think your first hug with your person may happen after you have been leaving some toxic mental pattern behind. You have been working on something, you've changed your ways in which you looked at life, you feel more positive about your future (and it could honestly also be cause of this person being in your life and supporting you, making you feel safe). This person brought a huge change in your life, they made you feel good about yourself and experience new emotions, a new way to look at relationships: they totally believe in you and appreciate you for who you are. And always remind you of your worth and that you need to be kind with yourself. They make you feel happy and in your power. They help you grow and support you while you are healing and working on yourself. Honestly it could even be you hugging them suddenly, cause they did something special for you (maybe gift you something on a special occasion): I see someone smiling happily and leaning onto this other person and hugging them in a very thankful and warm way (lot of sunlight here). It could even be that you both understand you've found someone special and you're glad the other is in your life. So, it's more of a friendly type of hug as for now, but it could also be the start for something else. For some, the hug may even have light shades of passion (or be the start for any of you feeling good about this connection and wondering if it can lead to something else. It may even make you wonder about the nature of your real feelings for this person: are they just a friend or something more?).

song: blood red | billy crabtree

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pile 2

This hug seems more like an hug after a romantic date or something. It may happen at night, before wishing each other good night. I feel someone taller being well dressed and leaning down onto the other person's head, in a very gentle, kind, loving way. I am also smelling something sweet (it could be their perfume). this hug will be kinda emotional too, both of you may be feeling cozy, at home with each other and hugging will feel natural even in the beginning of your relationship (like first dates/meetings). You both seem to appreciate each other minds and mentality, your point of views, the way you see things. You seem fascinated by each other. You may even be different (physically, background, nationality...), but these differences aren't something that scare you: they feel okay, they just add to each other's mystery and you both seem to feel intrigued. It seems your communication is amazing and you can talk behind these differences. It doesn't have to be that you don't agree with basically anything the otehr says, but it could. But again, it is not bad for any of you. You're kinda learning from each other and this is something important for the both of you. It kinda feels fate has brought you two together, so that you could share something between you. Power couple for some. You both gain another point of view from the other and this adds to your personal knowdlege and you find it awesome. So the hug will feel cozy because of this. You may even hug/touch often, as a sign of support and love (esp. side hugs). You like to let the other know you're there by their side through physical touches. i think you may even start being physical not too far into the dates cause of this strong attraction/bond you feel for/with the other.

song: infrunami | steve lacy

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pile 3

Honestly I cannot get much for this hug but it seems... It will be very sudden. You may be out with this person, and maybe a group of friends (of both or either of you) and you may end up to the arcade or any other place involving games you can play in teams or such. I see you two hugging as to celebrate your victory or any of you scoring a good point. Someone is literally sweeping the other off their feet. You may not realize it at first, as you're just thinking about your competition (honestly it could even be working -job/school- with this person and winning with your project or something like that) but right after, you may start feeling embarassed or even blushing... For some, your friends may start giving you weird looks (feels like they all know you two kinda share a connection or they feel your energies when you are together while you two don't or pretend not? Such a ff story!). Whatever the case, this hug will originate from a common win and let you realize the other's worth in your life, not just related to that game but in general... it will feel like after touching each other you will share infos and realize how much you care about the other, and how much you love them. Your more nurturing feelings will start pouring out, you will be more protective and welcoming towards the other, you'll see them with the eyes of love. You'll see how important they are. And you'll totally feel as you can count on them and work together again for something else, more romantic. It totally feels like this sudden hug will bring clarity and make things take a turn you may have never imagined. A sudden realization indeed.

song: just one day - short | deproducers

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pile 4

This hug feels fated. It will bring a change in either of your lives. It totally feels unexpected, as if you were just walking and suddenly stumble upon something but someone nearby saves you from falling on the ground. This could totally be unrelated ofc, but the feeling is the same. So I think this could actually be someone already in your life, that maybe you have hugged already but didn't really do it with a thought. Or it could be someone from your past coming back in a new form/as a new person. Watever it is, it'll feel like this person will be there for you in a moment you'll need them to be. You won't need to ask them to, they will just be there, they'll know you need them. This person can totally calm you down, balance your mind and emotions, and help you breathe. They can come in and calm you, balance you, with just a few words. They're the earth beneath your feet. Feels like divine counterpart for some. This hug may happen after an exam or a test, this person will be there waiting for you and hug you/caress your hair, to comfort you. They will make you feel like you have nothing to worry and things are gonna be good. They may be your lucky charm. For some of you, you are trying to manifest this person hugging you, being into you (maybe you two aren't in contact atm or aren't connecting as you'd like to: you probably would love to be in a relationship with them and find them attractive, but you barely talk with them or are just friends/acquaintances. Maybe they're older too?). Honestly it can happen, if you'll be able to fight for this to happen. For a few others, this person has still to come into your life, but this too feels kinda fated (actually you may see them/meet them more than once in the same situation/place and start exchanging few words/looks before something else happen, and you find again each other when you need support - where the hug happens).

song: the unwinding cable car | anberlin

[emelinstriker]

Macaque ♡ Private Play

I can't help but imagine Macaque using his Shadow Play skills to get money- now imagine the reader, his lovely spouse, being a regular of his shows and boom :D

Pre-Shadow Play episode btw cuz he do kinda be needing that lamp still

The pain of having to write this level of wholesome fluff when you've never been in an actual romantic relationship yourself- So I had a lot more fun telling the tale at the end and making it all more dramatic- omegalul

♡ ~ Fluff ~ ♡

It was yet another night at the theater, and a certain shadow monkey was doing his usual routine of retelling tales that he knew of from his own perspective and memories. Nothing out of the ordinary happened of course. He didn't get many people to see his performance, as usual, due to his plays' times and because of people not usually being interested in the concept of shadow plays as they preferred movies.

Such a shame, really, they were missing out on a great show! At least that's what you thought everytime you would see only a portion of the audience seats having been filled. Your husband did such an amazing show and you would be awestruck each and every time at the visuals he was able to create. Not to mention, his soothing voice was a nice bonus no matter which tale he told. He even used his powers to spice up your private wedding a few years back, using his shadows to calm you down from your nervous high, as well as putting on a shadow play for the few guests you had.

Once the play you were currently watching was over, you and the other people in the audience clapped, delighted at the performance. Some even stood up while the demon man on the stage bowed at the applause.

It didn't take long for the last people to leave the room while you simply sat in your reserved VIP seat as usual. And it didn't take long for your shadow to become a portal for the hooded monkey either as he emerged from it, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

"Hey there, sugarplum, how was work?", he said while nuzzling the crook of your neck. He was still in his human disguise, so unfortunately you were unable to appreciate his fluffy fur. But that didn't make you appreciate him any less as you leaned back into his hold.

You actually showed him your workplace before, which is a rather small thrift shop. Macaque needed some human clothing because the red and black cloak he's using during his plays would not suffice in certain areas of the city. Him in a hooded cloak, being all dark and mysterious, would most certainly garner unwanted attention from demons and humans alike. That's when you showed him some stylization options. Everything you showed him was extremely casual and he loved it.

"It was alright. Not much happened today, besides one customer who didn't understand how a warranty works", you muttered. The monkey let out a low chuckle as you could feel his chest's vibration on your back, leaning further into you. "Anyway, once you're free we can go take a stroll. There's this new 24-hour shop we haven't been to yet." Finally, you decided to turn a bit to give him a quick peck on the lips, making him smirk.

"Well, you're in luck. This one just so happened to be my last play for the night. Just gotta clockout at the counter and we're off", he said as he removed his disguise with his ability, revealing his demon form. He was still wearing his hooded cloak however, nuzzling you with his fur now.

And as he said, he clocked out at the counter... Or rather a shadow clone did while he himself carried you bridal-style outside the theater and onto the dark streets. He didn't let go of you until you were in the darkness of an alleyway, embraced by the shadows. You knew he specifically did this to make you feel safer. Because something he told you early on into your relationship: 'You're a lot safer in the shadows. So don't be afraid of them, especially when I'm here.'

The two of you walked hand-in-hand down the alley, talking about whatever else happened at each of your respective workplaces. Apparently the theater had a major fangirl come in who couldn't stop squealing at Macaque's voice, overall mysterious demeanor, as well as shadow abilities.

You laughed a bit at the image of a random girl in the back of the audience having a fangirl meltdown. "She did stay behind after the play to ask me for my number. Of course I said no and showed her my ring, but can you believe that?" He rolled his eyes at the memory.

"Yes, I can believe that would've happened eventually. After all," you started as you made your shoulder bump into his in an affectionate manner, "you do have an irresistible charm on the character you're putting up while in disguise."

You could've sworn his tail wagged underneath his cloak from the faint movement of fabric your eyes were able to catch behind him, giving you an amused smile. He pouted at your word choice.

"Just while in disguise? Damn, guess I'll need to step up my game as amazing husband to top that character", he chuckled before pulling down his hood. "How about I top the 'mysterious storyteller' right now with a tale I know you'll love?"

You simply stared at him in awe before excitedly nodding your head to give him the 'go'. In response, he let go of your hand and pulled out his lantern from underneath his cloak, twirling it in a fluent motion before it abruptly stopped and lit up in all its purple glory. He then winked as he handed it to you for safekeeping before taking a few steps back towards the opposing wall.

Macaque used both his hands and body to make the shadows behind him move in the usual shadow play fashion you knew from his public plays. Despite being fully aware of his abilities, knowing he doesn't need to do such thing to create those visuals, you appreciated his need to be a bit more dramatic than necessary. It simply added a bit more flare to the experience and made it a lot more enjoyable. But this time he actually incorporated his tail into the play too.

He started out with his eyes closed and his hands behind his back, using his smooth voice to his advantage, "Welcome my loveliest viewer, to a shadow play. The likes of which have never been seen." The simian's eyes opened as he threw a loving glance at you before raising his hand to the night sky. His arm's shadow formed a monkey man behind him. You knew that was him from his previous plays.

"The tale follows up on a warrior's story told not so long ago... There was a lonely warrior, wandering the most darkest corners of an unknown town. Cast aside by his former source of light, the hero, he sought out to find another source to feel whole once more", he started as his shadow now depicted himself and Sun Wukong. The Monkey King seemed to vanish as if turned to dust before being blown away by the wind. Macaque's expression held a sliver of hatred, but was quickly replaced with a gentle smile as another memory resurfaced.

"One day while roaming the town in the dead of night, a thunderstorm approached. Desperate to find shelter, he came across a different kind of light. A light so powerful, its source did not seem to mind sharing it with everyone they met." His eyes dilated a bit as he turned to face you, seeing you hold onto his lantern with extra care, making sure not to block its light. You didn't even notice your own lovestruck smile until he smiled back. "That light was a generous and kind mortal human, who offered him their home to shield him from the cold and damp. They even offered him silent comfort from the sounds outside as lightning continued to strike."

The shadows now depicted a human holding their hands over the warrior's ears, making both gaze at one another in close proximity. Then it switched to a scene with both holding hands while looking at what could only be described as sunrise.

"As the storm faded into the night, so did the moon. The sun started to awaken as its rays made the warrior realize that this human was his new source of light. And yet he told himself he had to leave, for he did not feel worthy of their compassion." The shadow of the warrior let go of the light's hands, but then was quickly stopped by the light refusing to let go of one hand, lightly tugging him back towards them.

"However, the light proved him otherwise. They did not agree with his mindset and instead asked him to stay longer." The human now pulled the warrior closer to them before giving him a hug. Macaque couldn't help but let out a little chuckle as he recalled the memory. "And eventually, the warrior seemed to have been put under a spell so strong it sent him into a spiraling trance. One that would bind him to the light for the future to come." Your husband then slightly leaned closer in your direction with his signature grin. "It was a spell of love."

The scene shifted once more to show both of them kissing while sitting on a bench under a tree, one familiar one you recognized with ease. "Over the coming months, their love for one another grew, and so did the shadow's courage to propose marriage to his beloved light. He came up with a plan to meet up under the tree's branches once again, and he expressed his devotion to the loving light of his life..."

Suddenly, the lantern became dimmer by the second as he approached your now blushing form with his arms crossed, clearly hearing your heartbeat. "I believe you already know how this story ends."

And as the lantern's light faded away, you launched yourself forward to capture him in your embrace, giving him a passionate kiss on the lips. You were still holding onto the lantern with one hand behind his back. He wrapped his arms around you in return and leaned more into you. Once you pulled away for air, you gave him a bright smile as a few tears formed in your eyes from the joy you felt. Despite the dark that surrounded you two, the simian was able to see your happy response to his small, private play. Macaque knew how to pick his words far too well.

"You dork... I love you, Mac", your mumbled voice said as you nuzzled your face into his chest. His lips made contact with the top of your head as he pulled you closer to him, letting out what sounded like a low purr.

"I love you too, sugarplum."

> Link to Masterlist <

[ashtavula]

I know the royalty au is mostly about romance, but I can't stop thinking about how reader is probably heading towards a mental breakdown. Being raised as royalty(already big yikes) and as a result the constant feeling of isolation, parents who most likely weren't very present or emotionally available, the huge responsibility of ruling over a whole kingdom and now also picking out a spouse who at least won't try to usurp the throne because how can you trust people if the only thing they see and want about you is your royal status. Yeah that's not a very cash money situation

No, it’s not great. Poor Reader/you is definitely stressing out. It’s part of why you need a nap when you meet with Leona.

I’d like to expand a bit on the isolation you faced growing up. Basically, the king and queen were afraid of you being influenced by outside sources, as well as being taken advantage of. So, they limited your interactions with the aristocracy when you were young. And when you got older, they stated that you shouldn’t leave the castle unless it was necessary. But by that point, you had no friends, so you didn’t feel the need to go out. Plus, you didn’t want to bother your parents by asking for permission to leave. Searching for a husband has given you lots of freedom to come and go, and you’re taking advantage of it while you can.

Also, your parents didn’t really neglect you, but they weren’t really there for you either. You were mostly raised by Trein and a governess. The king and queen spend most of their time either ruling, or socializing with the aristocracy. You only see them consistently at mealtimes, and even then, they tend to speak to each other more than you. The sad thing is that they’re talking to you more often now because they want updates on your hunt for a suitor. It’s often hard to believe that they genuinely love you when you mostly feel like they had you out of obligation.

You’re not ruling the country yet, but you’ve spent your whole life preparing for it, and there are plans to make you the reigning monarch in a decade or two. Before you started searching for a husband, you spent most of your time learning how to rule a country and socialize. Once you make your choice and get engaged, your fiancée will join you for these lessons. Leona and Malleus already know how to rule, but they’ll be learning about how your country works and who the nobles are.

I think that sometimes, you might have nightmares about being overthrown by the man you married. It’s not because you don’t trust them, but growing up the way you did would make anyone a bit paranoid. You’ve been taught that most people want to take advantage of you and your power. Not even your suitors are exempt from that fear. And sadly, some of them prove that you’re kind of right. Leona brings up that marrying you would be good for his country because he could use the status he gains to influence matters over there. You know that Azul is an opportunist. You figure that Vil and Riddle would certainly appreciate the boost to their social influence. The only person who doesn’t really stand to benefit significantly from your status is Malleus, and that’s part of why you trust him.

[lightofraye]

Hi there!

Cropped your name per request.

First, thank you for the lovely compliment! I have been trying so hard… it’s nice to be appreciated.

As for your question, wow. Well… with all due respect to the other bloggers…

I get it. Hollywood is notorious for affairs, flings, long time away from spouses/partners, parties, drinking, drugs, and all kinds of vices. Hollywood isn’t exactly a place that leaves people feeling fulfilled. It’s why some couples have left Hollywood to live elsewhere, where they can have more private, fulfilling lives while maintaining their careers.

For some, they talk of “needs”. Which strikes me as hilarious because sex is sex—it can be as empty as just satisfying a need or an affair of the heart, to feel appreciated when their spouse has left them miserable.

Do I think Jensen was having an affair or is having an affair? I find myself thinking long and hard on that.

Is it possible he had flings in the past? Possibly, if he had a need to itch as opposed to some relationship on the side. Now if it was an actual relationship on the side? He would look happier. And as we all can tell… he hasn’t looked happy in some time.

So no. I don’t think he is. He’s been very isolated and away from anyone who is someone that truly cares about him. The last time he even looked happy and lit up was the last J2 panel. Ever since then… he’s looked sad and forced to smile.

It breaks my heart. I’m not keen on someone having affairs or side relationships, but if I thought it’d make him happier to have someone give a damn about him, I’d be all for it.

I hope one day he finds a way to be truly happy.

Thank you for the ask and your support.

[kaminocasey]

One More Hour Epilogue

Summary: Five years after the Clone Wars, you and Dogma live your best lives.

Pairing: Dogma x f!reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; Smut, Unprotected sex between spouses, breeding kink?, oral (f receiving), slight angst in the beginning?, Order 66 for only a second

WC: 1.7K

A/N: Well, it's almost been a year BUT I promised a happy ending didn't I? Poor Dogma <3

TAGLIST FORM │Clone Wars Masterlist

Part 4

Five years after the Clone Wars

“Execute Order 66.” A sinister voice rings through Dogma’s head.

No, Dogma thinks, this isn’t right. This isn’t who he is. He looks up at General Skywalker, who’s eyes seemed darker, but not in color. No, in color, they’re a yellow tint now. The intention in his general’s eyes is dark, like he’s no longer himself. Like he’s something else entirely. 

He thinks he’s in the Jedi temple. A place he’s never been, but would know no matter what, the ancient feeling unmistakable.

“General, I don’t understand-” Dogma looks up but he no longer sees his general. He only sees his vod shooting down the Jedi, his own blaster raised. 

Out of fear and confusion, he drops his blaster. This isn’t right. This isn’t right. This isn’t-

“Dogma?” Your voice cuts through his thoughts, clear as day.

When Dogma looks up at you, all time seems to slow down. What are you doing here in the temple? Do you not see the dead Jedi around you? Why aren’t you afraid?

“Dogma?” You say again, starting to reach for him.

When he goes to reach for you, Fives and Tup hold him back. 

That can’t be right… they’re both gone… 

“Let go of me.” Dogma pleads with his vod as he struggles to get out of their grip, his wrists and shoulders both immediately sore.

He watches Jesse raise his blaster to you, in horror. 

“Jesse, no! PLEASE!” Dogma cries out, tears running down his face.  “CYARE, RUN.” 

He watches in horror as Jesse’s blaster fires in your direction. 

Dogma wakes with a start, his breathing heavy and ragged. He immediately remembers his dream and looks over at your sleeping form. You’re fine. You’re okay. He’s fine. He’s okay. 

When he finally gets his heart rate back down, he lays next to you again, pulling you against him. As if you could sense his anxiety, you pull his hand up to your lips, kissing him softly. He can’t help but smile as he kisses your neck. 

You hum softly, stirring more. “You alright?” 

“Perfect.” He half lies, burying his face in your neck and breathing you in, immediately feeling soothed. 

You wiggle up against him with a mischievous smirk and he groans softly, letting out a breathless chuckle.

“The kids will be up soon.” He murmurs, his voice still low and sleepy as he peppers your neck with kisses. 

“I know.” You sigh.

“Guess I better be quick then, hm?” He pulls you over on your back and crushes his lips to yours, his hand sliding across your stomach to grip your hip.

Five years, two kids, one tooka, and a house later, he never imagined he could be so happy, but Dogma wouldn’t give this life up for anything. 

A soft giggle escapes your lips as he moves down your body, watching him yank your sleep shorts down as he simultaneously pushes the blankets away from your bodies. The need for him takes over as you spread your legs eagerly for your husband. 

“That’s right, cyare. You know just what to do, don’t you?” He grins up at you.

You nod, appreciating the praise, as he places a soft kiss on your thigh, pushing them a little further apart as he takes in the sight of your already wet warmth. The soft needy sigh that leaves your husband’s lips is enough to go straight to your core. 

“Dogma, please…” You murmur, not being able to wait any longer. 

While your husband had had a nightmare, you’d been having the sweetest dream that involved him and his mouth. It had been a while since you’d had a dream this intense that caused you to wake up, soaked. 

“So eager. Already so wet for me.” He finally licks a stripe up your eager warmth and you let out a breathy whimper, the sound going straight to his length, making him grind against the bed. 

“Was having a good dream… about you.” You sigh as he teases your folds. 

“I can tell.” Dogma pushes your shirt up, revealing your stomach, always loving how soft you are… how soft your skin is… 

After your second child, you had become more modest, more uneasy, about being naked around him. He had told you that he found you just as beautiful as you were before your kids, and possibly even more so. With the way that he holds you, touches you, admires you, watches you… you know he was telling the truth. 

Pulling your shirt up over your breasts, he groans at the sight of you, splayed out for him. All for him. 

He pulls away from your warmth and kisses your bare stomach. “Maker, you’re so fucking beautiful. Have I told you that lately?”

“Only every day.” You grin, running your fingers through his now grown out hair. 

“Not enough.” He makes his way to your breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his fingers find their way to your clit. 

The gasp you let out makes his cock twitch against your leg and you reach down, wrapping your hand around it, needing to feel more of him. 

“How’d I get so lucky?” He sighs softly as you grind down against his fingers. He notices right away. “Need more, cyar’ika? All you have to do is ask.”

“P-please.” You look up into his lust blown brown eyes. 

He kisses you once more before making his way back down your body again, settling between your legs. Without another word, he pushes your thighs up and back, putting your pretty warmth on display for him. The lust for you takes over and his mouth latches to your pussy, unable to hold back his groan as he grips your thighs tightly. The taste of you is enough to make him cum right then and there. 

“F-fuck, Dogma.” Your hands fly to his hair, gripping tightly, making him hum at the feeling. “Right there, baby.”

He groans again at your directioning, pulling you even closer to his hot mouth. If you weren’t dripping before, you definitely are now as he continues fucking you with his tongue. 

It’s something that Dogma never, thankfully, forgot. How to eat you out like a man starved. He was so confident in the way he tasted you, the way he brought you to tears from coming undone above him, nearly bringing you to the Maker itself. “Oh, fuck… baby, right there. P-please.” You plead as the hot feeling pools into your lower half, threatening to snap as you writhe under him.

He smirks to himself, knowing how close you are, before pulling away. 

“Dogma…” You look down at him with wide eyes, about to beg him to let you finish, when he hops up on his knees, and pushes into you with no resistance, making both of you groan quietly. 

“F-fuck… yes… please.” You wrap your legs around his waist as he starts thrusting into you. 

“You need it that bad, huh?” He rambles, his fingers finding your clit again. “Haven’t fucked my pretty little wife in a few days. You need your riduur’s cock, don’t you, cyare?”

It’s almost rhetorical, you can barely get any words out, only pleading and begging for your husband’s cum. 

“Gonna fill you up so fucking full.” He promises, falling forward, burying his face in your neck. “Wanna fill you up with my seed.”

“O-oh.” You whimper, clenching around his cock, making his hips stutter slightly. 

“Tell me. Tell me you want me to fill you up.” He whispers, his voice low with need and lust. 

“Dogma, please.” You wrap your arms around him, sliding your hands up his neck into his hair. “Want you… to fill me up. Need your cum. Please.” 

As if that’s all he needed to hear, something inside him snaps. He almost feels bad because he wanted to make you cum first. 

“Oh fuck-” You feel him empty himself into you, painting your walls with his hot cum, making you clench around him, wanting him to give you as much of himself as he can. 

He pulls one of the pillows down underneath your lower back for support, and for another reason that you’re perfectly fine with, then starts fucking you harder, fucking his cum into you more. 

It was how you got pregnant with your second child. The two of you had been talking about trying for a third and now seems as good a time as any. 

“Maker, you’re so beautiful…” He praises you, smiling down at you as you feel yourself about to be thrown over your edge any second. “So fucking good for me… taking me so perfectly…”

You whine softly, writhing on his cock and he continues smirking down at you. You’ll never get over how perfectly Dogma fucks you. 

“I know, cyare, I know… You’re doing so good. I can feel your cunt pulsing around my cock.” He continues rambling praises as the wet sounds of his cock thrusts relentlessly into you.

You start to get a little loud so Dogma takes his free hand that was just gripping your hip and covers your mouth.

“Shhh pretty girl, gotta be quiet.” He winks and you feel your whole galaxy shatter inside of you as you cum, trying to remain as quiet around his hand as possible.

The shaking around him eventually stops and he collapses over you, kissing your neck, continuing his praises, telling you how good you did, how beautiful he thinks you are, and how much he loves you. 

“Shower?” He eventually offers, quietly in your ear.

You nod, sleepily, knowing that you’d eventually have to get the kids up and ready for school. 

“You want a bubble bath and then I’ll get the kids ready for school?” He offers. 

“Careful, I’ll cum again.” You tease, making him chuckle. 

“Alright. Let me draw you a bath, mesh’la and then I’ll start the caf.” He kisses you before getting up.

“Yep. Just came.” You whisper shout to him as he disappears in the fresher.

You can hear his laughter as he starts the bathtub and you sit there thinking you’re somehow even more in love with this man than the day before and even the day before that.

TAGS: @twistedstitcher27 @misogirl828 @rebel-finn @rexandechosandwich @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @agenteliix @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @quigonswife8 @idlenesses @redheadgirl @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @brownstalebread @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaw @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @jediknightjana @erishimoon @witching3 @queen-of-many-fandoms

[rifki16]

Tadaima, Okaeri Episode Nine Review

healthy tortilla chips with pico de gallo

Hi yall, I just got back from my trip, and I’m trying my best to catch up and get back on track with my healthy habits. I don’t think I have a new theme of the show to add on this analysis.

What I want to talk more is about the parenting method of Hiromu and Masaki. It was in episode five when this theme showed itself very clearly to me. In that episode, Hikari was trying his best to be the best big brother as he now has a younger sister, Hinata. I think it was mid-episode when Hikari broke down because he has worked himself too hard being the model big brother to his family.

In this episode, we were introduced to new characters, neighbors of the Fujiyoshi family, Mochizuki and Michiru. Mochizuki just lost his spouse, Michi-chan’s mother, a month before they moved to the Fujiyoshi’s suburbs. What I just realized from what Masaki said in the episode was, Michi-chan and Mochizuki are the only other omega individuals in the series. More importantly, Michi-chan is the only omega child that the show shows us so far.

During the fourth encounter-playdate-between Michi-chan and Hika-chan, Mochizuki told Masaki about his trouble being a single dad. He told Ma-chan that he had over relied on his, now, deceased spouse in raising Michi-chan. He added that he was worried how he would leave Michi-chan alone during the day once his bereavement leave runs out. Side note: I don’t know whether this is real or not, but if Japan really does have bereavement leave, it’s so cool for them.

Masaki is as Masaki does, he of course offered Mochizuki to babysit Michi-chan during the day, and even though the two only had known each other for a week, Mochizuki was very glad that Masaki wanted to babysit Michi-chan.

Masaki’s daycare was going swimmingly until nap time. Hinata woke up and immediately cried. Ma-chan then quickly came to her aid and tried to soothe her. As Hinata was getting calmer, Michi-chan woke up and started to roam around the Fujiyoshi’s house looking for his dad, Mochizuki. As he could not find his dad, he also started crying. Masaki then went after him and tried to soothe him while still having Hinata in his arms. Side note: I don’t get why Masaki didn’t cut off Michi-chan as he was roaming around the house, I suppose Masaki needed to solve one problem at a time.

Masaki realized something that he had encountered already: Michi-chan was crying because he was trying so hard to be the stable anchor in the family. When Mochizuki unloaded his story to Masaki during their fourth playdate, Mochi-san told Masaki that after his spouse died, all he could do was crying. To him, it seemed like Michi-chan was the one who kept him from crying again.

Masaki tried to reassure Michi-chan that his work, as the stable anchor in the family, was noticed. He appreciated all the hard work that Michi-chan has done. Hikari then came to their little circle and tried to calm Michi-chan from his loneliness feeling.

When Michi-chan was going home, his dad asked Masaki why Michi-chan’s eyes were red. Masaki told Mochi-san that Michi-chan cried in the middle of nap time, probably because he woke up in a strange house. Mochi-san then acknowledged that, Michi-chan has actually been keeping a lot of things to himself.

This really reminds me of the many video essays I passed through on YouTube about what an ideal childhood is like. The one that came up on my Recommendation Page was how Belcher Kids from Bob’s Burgers are the best representation of how a childhood should be. I think even American Dad once has an episode when Steve needed to be the man of the house because Stan was knee-deep in reliving his childhood even though that he’s a middle-aged man.

I’m not a developmental/child psychologist, however, what I really want to stress out is that I’m very happy that Masaki and Hiromu are not forcing their children to bear adults’ responsibilities. That does not mean that they do not set boundaries or responsibilities to their children, though. The very first thing that Hikari said to Michi-chan as he was calming him down was whether Michi-chan wanted to play some more with him. Michi-chan said yes, and Hikari proceeded to take Michi-chan’s hand as if he was about to play some more with him. However, Hikari then pointed out to Michi-chan that if they actually finish their nap time, they will get snacks afterwards, hence why they should continue napping. Michi-chan then agreed to nap instead. Isn’t that marvelous? Hikari understood his task/responsibility that he needed to take a nap, a full-on nap, and he abided to that promise.

If only I could have Masaki and Hiromu as my parents. I suppose that they are the same age as me though.

I want to sprinkle some of the good character developments from the show. I think the fact that Hiromu is as FOMO as ever really chuckled me up. After Hikari told his dad that he just met a new friend, Hiromu was sad that he was really out of the loop because he didn’t know anything about this new friend, I mean, duh, haha.

Secondly, I’m so happy that Masaki and Hiromu are always honest to each other, and they always open the discussions for everything. When Masaki offered to babysit Michi-chan during the day, he did that without consulting Hiromu first. However, Masaki then talked about it with his husband. Hiromu at first seemed unconvinced because Mochi-san and Masaki just knew each other for a week, and Hiro-san was asking himself, what kind of a parent would let a, practically, stranger babysit for them? Side note: Hiromu, you clearly have never experienced a country where every aspect of your life has been dictated by neoliberalist policies. People in the states have been dreading for some kind of childcare for their children, let alone a functioning and trustworthy daycare. I already sensed Hiromu’s jealousy as the conversation was progressing. Then, it turned out that Mochi-san told Masaki that Ma-chan really reminded him of his deceased spouse. I think this was supposed to smooth the deal out; by saying that Masaki looked like Michi-chan’s mother, it meant to say that: “Oh, Michi-chan would love you as his babysitter, as you already have the look of his mother”. Hiromu then grabbed his husband and hugged him, SN: rizz, lol. Masaki then assured his husband that he did not perceive it like that, that Mochi-san was coming on to him. Hiromu then cleverly said, “even if it was, I wouldn’t let him”, SN: rizz again, lol. Masaki then really assured Hiromu that he really wanted to babysit Michi-chan because he wanted to be a good influence on another omega kid. Hiromu then agreed to do so afterwards.

Lastly, if any of my readers has watched the episode, I want to ask you, did they change the voice actor for Yuuki? Why did he sound differently in this episode? Does it supposed to mean a character’s development?

Tadaima, Okaeri episode nine was such a light fun. It seems like we’re going to be introduced to a new set of characters. I can’t wait to watch episode 10. Go watch this episode, yall!

[curiousquirks]

okay so, here's my request 😼 sorry this is too long 😭😭

this imagine has been spinning around my mind for a while now and... imagine prohero!reader x best jeanist as a married couple. prohero!reader is known as charismatic, brave, bold and confident (a similar personality to mirko's!) who's not shy to express their emotions, specially to their husband; they take place as the number 4 hero and their relationship with the number 3 hero is quite popular among people and more known as power couple (since when they fight together, they're just amazing). but what would happen if they have an argument about something not too serious and take some time apart to clear their minds? the media goes crazy and starts a hero drama, endless gossiping about them, entire internet blogs making theories and, specially, reporters surrounding jeanist and prohero!reader looking for answers about what could've possibly happened to make the so powerful couple separate momentarily (failing miserably because none of them would talk about their personal lives). tsunagu starts feeling annoyed by all the drama over a little argument but reader remains chill about it, they aren't really mad, so the story ends when tsunagu is being surrounded one day by reporters asking the same things as the last week and prohero!reader appears on scene with a rose in hand, apologizing and ready to patch up the past argument with their spouse in front of the camera! they make up and reader gives hakamada a kiss over his hero costume and leaves for patrol, stating out loud they love him humongously beyond the argument (leaving tsunagu heart-warmed).

this would be a oneshot with an humoristic/romantic-fluffy touch if possible (feel free to give reader a quirk of your choice if you want). SORRY IF IT'S A LOT, feel free to ignore♡

Red Threads of Fate

Word Count: 2,023

A/N: I appreciate all of the details, they honestly help me so much so don’t worry about it! I hope you like it! This also took longer than I thought but I made it a longer fic to hopefully make up for it aha <3 Still not that used to writing Best Jeanist so I hope I did him justice. Enjoy <3

Your head whipped around towards your TV when you heard your Hero name.  Your local news anchor was currently moving onto a “special segment” they called Troubles in Paradise. You paused your actions as you moved closer to hear him better.

 

“And no new development on either half of the dynamic power couple, it seems they need time to work on their differences. We here at the station don’t fear for their relationship, knowing nothing could tear them apart.” 

“Thank you.” You replied to the man, as though he could hear you. “I know you guys wouldn’t care as much as the other stations do.” You know Tsunagu was no doubt growing irritated with the public’s meddling in your relationship, making up their own narrative to your private but childish argument.

“That doesn’t stop other sources from trying to figure out just what made two of our top Heroes to part even temporarily. Some have stated that Best Jeanist seems to be getting restless without his spouse by his side. Are the troubles in paradise going to affect his performance as a Pro Hero? Here's hoping they kiss and make up soon.”

You picked up the remote and clicked the TV off, giving a soft laugh to yourself. The public and media was always eager to pick apart every detail of Pro Heroes, their relationships were no exception. It didn’t bother you at all, you’ve grown used to the constant badgering and pestering. Sometimes, it was even amusing to you. Tsunagu, on the other hand, finds it tiring when they come to the wrong conclusion. Image is everything after all, and when the public doesn’t have the full story they’ll go out of their way to fill in the gaps themselves. 

You were currently staying in your own agency building, agreeing with Tsunagu on it being best to give each other space. You’ve made jokes to a reporter that had cornered you that being around each other too often would lead to more petty arguments, especially because you enjoyed messing with him far too much. Tsunagu however, after hearing your little comment, didn’t appreciate how lightly you were taking this whole thing. He had known, without even having to look at any article or forums, that you weren’t helping any false narratives people kept trying to spin. You telling him to lighten up and relax didn’t help your little lover’s quarrel either. 

It had been a few days now, time flying by because the antics of various villains in both of your areas proved a large distraction. You plopped yourself down onto the nearest chair, beginning to mindlessly scroll on your phone. Sure enough, your timelines were filled with you and your husband, usually with the tagline: “If they break up I give up on love!!” You clicked your tongue, heaviness sinking in your heart. You really missed Tsunagu. You threw your head back, letting out a long exhausted sigh. This was going to need to be fixed soon and you didn’t really care how at this point. It was both of your prides at this point, the argument wasn’t even worth this much drama. 

You looked back at your phone, swiping until you could scroll through your own collection of photos you’ve taken with Tsunagu. You scrolled for a few minutes but you had to put your phone down, throwing your arm over your face. You stayed like that until you grew tired enough to move to somewhere more comfortable. You paused, deciding whether or not to toss your phone onto the table but waging a war with yourself. You quickly swiped up on your text messages before you quickly typed a message to Tsunagu, but had decided not to send it, leaving it up on your phone before you had gone to sleep for the night. 

I miss you and your stupid blue jeans <3

━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━

Being rudely awoken because of an emergency alarm asking for your assistance was something you still hadn’t gotten used to. You sprung into action, quickly putting on your hero costume as you as you contacted your sidekicks to assist you. Your efficiency was impeccable and one of the many reasons you were so praised, quickly arriving at the scene to assist civilians and take down any Villain in sight. 

You handled aiding the civilians you spotted immediately with ease, their concerns and uneasiness falling off of them at just the sight of you. You had helped move any rubble and debris that was in the way, scooping up the random strangers and taking them somewhere safer. You’ve been keeping an eye out for the Villain but you can’t seem to find any sign of them. You assessed the damage on the victims you had near you before you signaled over two of your sidekicks who finished aiding some other civilians themselves.

“Help aid their injuries, this one has a broken leg and that one needs stitches.” You commanded them as they both immediately got to work. You checked around again before calling back down to your sidekicks. “Have either of you seen the Villain anywhere? I haven’t seen any signs.”

You watched as both of them looked at each other, seeming to debate whether or not to tell you something. You narrowed your eyes, but before you could open your mouth you heard cheering coming from the far side of the battle field that was obstructed from your vision.

“Is another Hero already here?”

“Uh…well uhm Best Jeanist also arrived on the scene and he was taking care of the Villain while you had aided these civilians.” One of your sidekicks explained, not looking you in the eyes as they tried to focus on helping the person in front of them. 

“Jeanist is here?” You asked, looking back towards the area where you heard the cheering. “What’s he doing in this area?”

“We’ll handle everything from here if you want to go and uhm…greet the crowd…” The other sidekick started saying before letting the sentence fall off before trying to quickly add on: “I’m sure they’ll appreciate being able to thank you as well.”

“He shows up in my area and takes care of the Villain, taking the credit from the public…” You ranted in hushed whispers, crossing your arms, scoffing at the audacity. “Is he trying to get a bunch of good publicity to get the media off his back about our fight?”

A quiet ow had you spinning around as the second sidekick was holding their arm after getting hit by the other. You sighed, rolling your eyes, as you composed yourself. You were being unreasonable and didn’t intend to let your frustrations be front stage for the civilians behind you, so you quickly flashed a grin at them. 

“My sidekicks will take good care of you until rescue teams arrive. I'm going to go assist Best Jeanist with taking in the Villain responsible for this.” You reassured the civilians, flashing a thumbs up at them before rushing off towards the crowd. Maybe fate was on your side for this encounter.

You rushed over, spotting a flower cart out of the corner of your eye. You made a small detour before getting over the collapsed rubble with ease. Sure enough, Best Jeanist had the large Villain thoroughly secured with extensive lengths of threads. He was currently talking with various civilians and an onslaught of people with cameras as he waited for transport. You casually made your way over, the second your presence was seen the crowd screaming your Hero name. Tsunagu eyes glancing towards you, his obscured face completely unreadable, something you were cursing. Surely he wasn’t still upset.

 

“Good thing you were in the area, Best Jeanist.” You called out cheerfully, any bitterness you’ve held onto from before was gone. “Had no idea you would be over here.”

The quick and harsh whispers from the crowd didn’t go unnoticed from either you or Tsunagu. You could see him close his eyes briefly, probably cursing your insistence on not taking your public image as seriously as he did. The reporters seemed to be at odds with themselves, struggling to decide if they wanted to turn the cameras towards you or keep them on Best Jeanist, eager to learn more about this apparent ongoing argument. All of the reporters kept talking over each other trying to get a statement from you. 

“Are you two still at odds?”

“You didn’t know he was going to be in the area? Were you planning on coming to apologize to your spouse, Best Jeanist?”

“Can you tell us what started this feud between you two?”

“Is there not enough in common for you two to keep things together?”

“Did one of you cheat on the other?”

The last question that you heard gave you a pause, immediately causing you to look at Tsunagu. Your voice was loud and commanding as you shouted for silence, forcing the talking to come to a sudden halt. You took a deep breath, Tsunagu’s eyes snapping to you, eyes slightly wide in seeming shock. 

“Guys, guys, guys. That’s enough okay.” You said, trying to ease the crowd growing antsy. “I admit this little disagreement between us has gone on for too long, isn’t that right babe?” You lifted up your arm bumping your elbow into his side as a not so subtle signal.

“I’m afraid we’ve been quite busy and weren’t able to set up any official explanations for our strange behavior. Which we both apologize for, of course.” Tsunagu had explained with that elegant grace as he always did. “Much like frayed denim needs delicate hands and care to prevent the threads from coming apart, our disagreement needed time apart for us to not handle it incorrectly.”

“Actually Tsunagu…” You had turned towards him, pulling out a rose you had snatched off a flower cart you had passed coming over here. “I should’ve just apologized, instead of dragging it on. I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to admit to being wrong.” 

You saw Tsunagu pause for only a moment before his eyes softened, his hand reaching out to grab the rose from you. He delicately twisted the stem in his fingers as he clasped his hand in yours. “I was at fault too, my love. Stubbornness is not one of my best traits, I admit.” He said, smiling underneath his denim collar.

You grinned at him, stretching up to place a kiss against his covered mouth. “We have those red threads of fate wrapped around our fingers.” You explained, moving your fingers to hook your pinky around his. “We may disagree at times, sometimes for something stupid, but nothing is going to tear that thread apart.”

Tsunagu marks this as another moment where he swears that he falls even more in love with you everyday. The aw’s and cooing from the crowd was drowned out as he focused solely on you. He marked every single detail of your beautiful face into his memory, cursing his pride for how long it had been since he had last seen it. Despite his irritation at some of your antics, he wouldn’t trade you for anything and couldn’t have asked for a better partner. 

You heard your sidekicks calling out for you, your head looking back towards them. You let go of Tsunagu’s hand as you waved at the crowd next to you. “Sadly, duty calls!” You called out, making your way towards your sidekicks. “I love you, Tsunagu!”

You moved over the rubble with that same grace you did the first time. He heard your voice calling over the debris still: “I love you a lot! Like a whole bunch! Annoyingly, one might say!” 

Tsunagu looked down at the rose, his eyes falling to his pinky, his mind imaging that little red thread. His eyes could see it leading right over that debris you just jumped over, smiling to himself before he turned his attention back to the crowd he still needed to address again. 

That little red thread of fate that wouldn’t tear no matter what pulled you two apart. He couldn’t be luckier.

[snezfics-n-shit]

Sicktember Day 9: Overdramatic Caretaker

Fandom: Ace Attorney Characters: Maya Fey, Larry Butz, Phoenix Wright

Notes: It’s common knowledge that Larry will jump through any hoop of any height for his partners. Now that he’s officially married into the Fey clan, he’s ready to go above and beyond with this, and that includes caring for his wife when she’s sick in bed. He might be a little over the top with all this effort though, or at least Phoenix thinks so when he visits. Married Yahamayo, Larry polycule is going strong with his relationship with Phoenix and Miles being just as intact as it was before he and Maya got married, and set some years after SoJ (specifically 4) purely for timeline purposes. 

--

“Can I get you anything else, Maya?” Larry asked for the third time before leaving the room, just to make sure. 

“It’s all good, I probise.” Maya laughed and shook her head. 

The bed was covered in extra blankets and tissue boxes, making it uncertain just how Larry was going to join his wife in bed when it was finally time to turn in for the night. Larry wondered if Maya was really comfortable, but she had already insisted everything was perfect, and Larry wouldn't dream of going against her wishes no matter how many more blankets he thought she may have needed. 

Larry planted a kiss on his wife's forehead, his position lingering until he felt he had an accurate “reading” of her temperature.

“Your fever seems to have gone down. That's good news.”

The face Maya made in an attempt at swooning over her husband’s cheerful observation probably looked really silly, but Larry responded in kind with his own silly looking expression. She couldn’t help but laugh, even though it made her cough so shortly after just a few chuckles.

“You’re the best.” She held Larry’s face with both of her hands cupping his cheeks, knowing full well the risk of potentially coughing or sneezing on his face, but if one couldn’t risk spreading disease to a beloved spouse, just who else was there? 

Speaking of “who else,” the newly installed doorbell interrupted the couple’s moment, but it reassured that Larry did set it up properly after so much time spent worrying that Fey manor wasn’t equipped for such luxuries.

“I’ll go see who it is, okay? You just sit tight and keep resting.” Larry gave his wife another kiss and waved before heading out on his way. He didn’t see Maya press her hand to her heart or hear her whisper to herself how lucky she was. 

Larry slid open the front door to find Phoenix Wright, who had been able to comprehend Larry’s voicemail enough to have heard there was something going on. 

“What’s the emergency, Larry?” Phoenix sounded concerned, but cautious not to make a scene in case Larry was overreacting again. 

“Nicky, it’s terrible!” Larry dropped any semblance of calm he had been carrying. “Maya’s sick!”

“Sick?” Phoenix’s face grew pale. “Is she in the hospital?” 

“No, she’s just bedridden with a horrible cold, she’s just miserable!”

Just like that, the color returned to Phoenix’s face. 

“She just has a cold, Larry. She’s, what, 32 now? I’m sure she’ll survive.” Phoenix sighed heavily.

“Nooo! You don’t understand! She was so stuffed up, she couldn’t sleep a wink last night! She even had a fever!” Larry instinctively pulled Phoenix into a hug. “And there’s nothing I can do to cure her or anything!”

“Yeah, that’s colds for you. You can’t cure them.” Phoenix shrugged, much to Larry’s frustration. “So, are you going to let me in or what?”

Larry scowled, not appreciating that his friend wasn’t taking this seriously. As frustrated as he was, however, he was still a gracious host, just as a Fey husband should be… Or at least, he guessed a Fey husband should be, since there weren’t any examples in town to go off of. He led Phoenix inside, hoping he would notice the abundance of paintings displayed since his last visit. 

“I bet Maya would be glad to see you.” Larry said far more calmly than he had spoken since Phoenix arrived. “I wanted to make her some soup. You know, your mom’s recipe? I couldn’t bear the thought of having her all alone feeling the way she does for that long, though, so if you could keep her company, that would be great!” 

“Why not?” Phoenix shrugged yet again and pivoted to the direction of a room across the hall.

“No, not that room!” Larry raised his voice, making Phoenix jolt. It was as if the room was full of bear traps and wrecking balls with the way he was so quick to stop him. “We’re renovating it for a special project! You can’t go in there!”

“You and your projects…” Phoenix muttered. 

The last time Larry had a “special collaborative project,” Phoenix found both himself and Miles awake late at night with the anxiety brought by the thought of babysitting a mini-Franziska or mini-Larry. The two still had not come to an agreement which was a more nerve wracking concept, but the little one turned out pretty good so far; at least, as good as anyone could expect from an infant.

Oh how Phoenix hoped this current project had nothing to do with more tiny humans he would likely be expected to pitch in with babysitting, especially a tiny human who lived within the state rather than all the way in Germany.

“Our room’s the door next to it.” 

“Okay, okay.”

“Don’t forget to knock first!” Larry added. “You can’t go barging into a married couple’s bedroom without knocking!” 

“I know.” Phoenix grumbled, but quickly put himself together when he knocked on the bedroom door. 

“Dick?” Maya answered.

Phoenix cracked open the door and nodded before letting himself in.

“You knew I was here?”

“It’s hard dot to. Larry gets all riled up talki’g to you.” Maya giggled. “It’s cute.” 

Phoenix scanned the room, taking note of all the blankets and tissue boxes supplied. The bedside tables had piles of different medicines and various home remedies, some of which Phoenix recognized as his mother’s trademarks. Sometimes he felt like Larry had made himself a bit too comfortable spending time with his parents, but it wasn’t like Phoenix could blame him. 

“Lap of luxury over here, huh?” Phoenix wasn’t entirely sure if he was being sarcastic, since he was actually genuinely impressed the more he thought about the lengths Larry went to for the sake of his wife. 

“Uh-huh!” Maya nodded before blowing her nose, seeming to savor the material making up what looked like just any other tissue. “He even got these really nice tissues imported. Go on,” she urged him with a fresh tissue held out, “try one! They’re really soft.”

“But I don’t have to blow my nose.” Phoenix held his hand up as he declined. “It’d be a waste.”

“I’ll use it after you, don’t worry!” Maya said that as if she already had that in mind before Phoenix even came over. 

“Sharing a tissue doesn’t sound like a good idea.” Phoenix grimaced, leaning backward away from Maya, who just leaned forward in response.

“I’m the sick one here. If anything, I’d be catching your healthy!” Maya rationalized.

“I don’t think that’s how it works…”

Maya puffed out her cheeks. 32 years old and she was still pouting exactly how Phoenix remembered her doing 15 years ago.

“Well, have you tried?”

“I’m not gonna–” Phoenix sighed, giving up mid-sentence. “When you stop pushing one of your expensive tissues in my face, I’d like to know how you’re faring with… y’know.”

“What? This cold?” Maya laughed, though her laughter was cut short by a series of coughs. “I’m fine.”

“No, I mean Larry being, well, Larry about all this.” Phoenix tilted his head in the direction of the door. “He was practically in tears over you being sick.”

“He’s so precious.” Maya’s eyes welled with tears of happiness. Yup, she was perfect for Larry, alright. “He’s more than I could ever ask for.”

“You… You don’t think this is a bit too much?”

“Nick,” Maya grasped Phoenix’s hand and maintained direct eye contact, “Larry’s here in Kurain with me. Do you know how many women in the village would kill to be able to say the same? And here he is, going above and beyond for me and anyone he sees needing help around town. He buys groceries for the old ladies whose husbands left when they were young ladies. Do you have any idea how much this means not just for me, but the entire Fey clan?” 

“I never thought of it that way.” Phoenix scratched the back of his neck. He was a little afraid to break eye contact with Maya, even though it was starting to make him uncomfortable. 

“Larry is hope, Nick. Not just for me or even Pearly. When we have kids, he’s gonna be there as their dad and show them that they deserve someone who will put as much effort in everything that he does.”

“He does work pretty hard, doesn’t he? How long is his resume now?” Phoenix half-joked. Larry did have quite the impressive job history, though he seemed to be comfortable in his job as a children’s book author and illustrator he’s held for, if Phoenix was right in his math, over ten years. 

“See?” Maya nudged Phoenix gently with her elbow. “Now stop being all jealous. If you catch my cold, I’m sure Larry will come over and take care of you, too.”

“J-Jealous!?” Phoenix sputtered. “When did I say I was jealous?” 

“You didn’t.” Maya wiped her running nose with the tissue she had given up on pressuring Phoenix to try. “But I can’t think of any other reason you’d take such an issue with how invested Larry is in taking care of me when I’m sick. Don’t you have a loving husband who dotes on you, too? Mr. Edgeworth-Wright?” She leaned back and gasped. “How dare you be so greedy!” She playfully scolded him. 

“Who’s greedy?” Larry’s voice came from the doorway. He was carrying a tray with three bowls of soup and a large mug delicately releasing steam. “If it’s you, Maya, you can have my bowl.”

“No, Nick’s the greedy one.” Maya teased.

“Oh, well, he’s not getting any extra soup.” Larry joined in on the teasing. “I can’t remember if it’s the cold or fever that’s supposed to be fed, but he has neither.” He set down the tray in a spot for easy reach between the three of them. “I made you shōgayu just the way you like it, yuzu and all.”

“Aww, Larry!” Maya was tearing up again and pulled her husband into a tight hug, but she was careful not to potentially knock over the tray on the bed. “You’re the best!”

“Oh, Maya.” Larry started getting teary-eyed as well. “You know I’d do anything for you. You just say the word and it’s yours.” 

Phoenix just sat quietly, having a spoonful of soup that he hoped Larry wouldn’t notice in case he wasn’t allowed to start eating before Maya did. He let the two have their moment, but the moment was getting awfully long, extended with each soft word of affection and nuzzle. Even when Maya sneezed on Larry, which Phoenix thought would snap the two out of it, that was just followed by “oh bless you, honey” and more nuzzling. 

He hoped they would wrap up sooner rather than later. Their soup was probably starting to get cold. 

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 172 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: cutting the French tamarisk in my garden.

JON: "Ah, hold up. Uh, I, I need to, um…" MARTIN: "Now? Seriously? We’re almost out of here." JON: (kinda breathy) "I’m sorry. Not really up to me." MARTIN: "Fine." (sigh) It is actually a really shitty thing to do, to react to physical needs of others like that, making them feel bad about it. I speak from experience and I’m sad to say that I was the shitty one. I taught myself to ignore my bodily needs, I drink very little, I eat very little when it's an inconvenience for me in any way. My spouse drinks the amount of water a human normally should to stay healthy and therefore has to pee a lot more often than I do. In the past I also reacted annoyed when we were out travelling and they had to seek out bathrooms while I wanted to push on. I realized how shitty that was of me and while it is hard to change my thinking pattern I don't blame them anymore for needing a quick break.

JON: "If you’re bored, you could always… take in a show." MARTIN: "That’s – That’s not funny, Jon." JON: "If you say so." Is Martin really so averse to the statements? We know for Jon it feels good to let it out, all that has build up. And the fear around him feels good. But also, he's the Archivist, it's his thing. It really is a bit as Jude put it. Leeching on all the other fears, feeding off of everything, not just the victims in his domain. Martin does have Eye in him, but is it enough that the fear of victims, who are not in his domain, does something "positive" for him? Jon may imply here it's not all bad for Martin with his "if you say so", he surely could Know that. Or he's just dismissive of Martin's sour mood.

That "pause for laughter" is what gets me most in this one. Being watched and judged and mocked. I don't have any experience with addiction/substance use, so the others stuff doesn't really get to me.

Also can we appreciate the soundscaping? It's so good!

Okay, scratch the "only pause for laughter gets me", those hooks, piercing through all kinds of Francis' body parts make me wince every time... But that's more the territory of body horror.

MARTIN: "I went exploring, alright? I don’t know why; I shouldn’t have." JON: "No, y,you shouldn’t have!" Martin going exploring in a Web domain... Not suspicious at all! Still teasing Web!Martin.

MARTIN: "Being here – (sigh) I-It just makes me second-guess all of it, and I – I don’t like it, it – really scares me." That's fair in a Web domain. Almost ventures into Spiral territory here...

JON: "Knowing… Seeing… i,it’s not the same thing as… understanding." Yeah can relate. I can be really good at coming to conclusions, or identifying if one thing has something to do with another thing, or doesn't. But there are also a lot of times where I am fully aware of both things and it just takes me sooo long to connect the dots.

JON: "pattern of consequences and subtle nudges, but I, I can’t – I can’t hold them all in my head at the same time." That's how I describe TMA to others. Like it's so good at surprising because it has such a vast lore. And when things come together it still makes sense, like you feel like "Oh yeaaah, right, there was something about that!"

JON: "Would you like to leave now?" MARTIN: (…decisive) "Yeah, screw this place. Never liked the theatre anyway." That is so funny to hear from someone who likes poetry XD I always thought it’s a rather similar art.

@a-mag-a-day

[cherrymoonxx]

Hii ✨ I’m so glad you’re doing readings, i have absolutely LOVED pervious ones I’ve had from you! You have such a beautiful way with words, they are like little magical letter into a glimpse of your future 💭🪄🌠

I think a memorable moment when I’ve felt truly happy is just simple times when I have all my family around, just chatting and laughing and sharing delicious food 🥰

I’d like to choose Cupids Arrow please!🏹👼

Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your time and energy 💘 x o

E D B

Hello again! Omg thank you so much🥹 I know it’s been a while since I’ve done readings and I’ve kinda been feeling a bit insecure about my readings but this was such a nice message to receive so thank you!!

Also, those sound like wonderful memories! Sometimes the simplest moments are the best ones 😊

Alrighty, on to your reading!

Hmm okay, first thing I’m seeing is a chilly night. It’s quiet, except for the gentle whispers of the wind. I see someone looking longingly outside of their window. Seems like they’re wishing for something better. And maybe thinking about a specific someone. I heard this song in my head as well:

So for your future spouse, I’m getting very quick energy. Makes me think that this is someone who lives a fast paced lifestyle. Always on the go, has a billion things they have to worry about, and maybe rarely ever has time for themselves. They seem like someone with an important job (like a director/executive of a company). Their energy reminds me of caffeine and just an overall jittery kind of vibe.

I’m seeing this kind of scenario where they’re rushing in the morning to grab their usual cup of coffee from the coffee shop before they go to work. And they’re not necessarily in the best of moods (definitely kinda cranky because of all the work stuff they got going on). So they are super annoyed to have to be waiting in line for their coffee. But whatever, they need their coffee to get through the day, so they suck it up. After like 15 minutes, they finally get their coffee and are practically running out of the coffee shop. They’ve just made it to the door when they end up crashing into someone, completely spilling their coffee all over the both of them. This person is you lol. So by this point, they’re super annoyed and don’t even apologize because they’re already running late. They end up just running out of the store leaving you completely dumbfounded like “did this just seriously happen???”

So of course the meeting doesn’t have to happen exactly this way, but I feel like you guys will meet under similar circumstances, in which your future spouse is running late/rushing somewhere and you guys end up bumping into each other or something along those lines… But to continue off of this little coffee shop scenario (cuz now I’m super invested) I’m seeing that you guys may actually end up being coworkers. And after all that chaos, they see you walk into the office meeting and they’re just like “well, shit.” lol this reminds me of a kdrama trope.

I think over time your relationship will obviously blossom into something more. Could be a kind of “enemies to lovers” trope in which you guys don’t necessarily like each other at first. Even though you don’t like each other right off the bat, you are both professional with each other. So if you have to work together, you won’t be rude or disrespectful towards one another. I think over time, they start to realize that you are a good worker and you have a lot of great ideas and this really draws them to you.

I think you guys eventually end up becoming really good friends before becoming lovers. If you’ve watched Ugly Betty, I’m reminded of Daniel and Betty’s relationship. [Maybe you could even work for like a fashion magazine like they did]. It feels like you both have been through a lot together at work but make a great team. Even everyone at the office acknowledges that you both are a great team. You’ve proven to your future spouse that you are a valuable asset to the company with your ideas and passion and this is something that they come to really admire.

I think your future spouse realizes they love you while you guys are at work actually. It could be in the morning and you guys are going through your usual routine at work when they just become hyper aware of you. Like they think to themselves how smart you are and they’re so glad they get to work with someone like you. And they start to notice little things, like your perfume. And in their mind they’re like “did you always smell this good?” Or they’d look at you and think, “were you always this beautiful?” And that’s when it really hits them that they really have deeper feelings for you.

Omg sorry that was soo long! I was trying to relay everything I was seeing but it gets so wordy sometimes.

But anyway, thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed this reading! Thank you for participating 💞

[theladylatias]

Recently came back from a trip to Disney World, and I’m… having so many conflicting feelings about it. This is going to be a long (and angry) vent, so take heed.

Recently came back from a trip to Disney World, and I’m having so many conflicting feelings about it. My spouse and I went with my mother-in-law and father-in-law ("the parents"), and my brother-in-law and his wife (who I’ll just call SIL). MIL/FIL basically paid for the entire trip outside of the airfare, as this was a dream vacation they wanted to go on with the kids.

BIL/SIL took the reins on the scheduling, helping buy tickets, planning out the entirety of each day (complete with DETAILED SLIDE SHOWS that indicated what we'd be doing by time), and handling the “fast passes” at the parks so we could be guaranteed to get on particular rides we requested.

While I didn’t necessarily mind this (as that‘s a lot of work and I appreciated their efforts in doing so), I also voiced my concern to my spouse that BIL and SIL were going to take over the entire trip, that they would be forcing us to stay on the schedule and I wouldn’t get to do anything outside what they planned. We discussed this with their parents, who assured us they wouldn’t let such a thing happen. I felt a little better as a result, but because of my misgivings, I wasn‘t wildly excited for this trip leading up to it.

Trip comes, we leave to go on it, it’s getting exciting. I always like trips and flying. First day ends up being pretty fun (Hollywood Studios and Epcot), though I already see red flags in BIL/SIL dictating where to go and when. They don’t let us linger in Star Wars land to shop (we get some time, but it feels rushed because they are constantly hovering by exits and reminding us of our next ride), they don’t stop for food until someone demands it (my spouse and I choose a sitdown for dinner which everyone ended up liking), and we don't even get to see most of Epcot. Despite pushing us constantly to move on their schedule, SIL always has no problem vetoing things she isn't comfortable doing, or making it clear she doesn't think one ride or another is worth doing.

But the other red flag I notice? BIL/SIL are CONSTANTLY far ahead of us. The entire trip is nothing but us walking through crowds, struggling to glimpse them half a mile ahead of us. This makes me anxious because I really don‘t like the feeling of being left behind, forgotten, or abandoned. But my spouse is next to me the whole time, so it’s not so bad… right?

Next day… whoo boy.

We go to Animal Kingdom. It is clear that BIL/SIL find no value in anything there except going on the safari, which is a 2-hour wait (no fast pass available). I don’t want to stand in line that long, so I express this to my spouse and they announce we’ll be going our own way. Everyone agrees. The parents stick with the safari plan, while my spouse and I wander around to look at animals and see a show. When we meet again, I can tell the parents didn’t enjoy their 2 hours of waiting for a 10-minute safari, and now they are hungry. They are vegan and have particular needs and tastes. SIL immediately begins examining every food stand and telling them what they can eat, treating them like children or senile old grandparents that can't comprehend what's best for them. Because of the schedule, BIL/SIL only want to eat at fast pickup stands and not a sitdown place because the wait will be too long (even though the wait for the safari was just fine, remember?). But that also means there are a lot of things the parents cannot eat because the fast pickup stands can’t make any substitutions or changes. They end up eating fries. Super healthy.

We then end in Magic Kingdom. I start to get super anxious because BIL/SIL are all but literally dragging us from one end of the park to the other. My spouse and I start to linger behind on purpose so we can actually get photos and look at things. The big parade is about to begin but SIL immediately vetoes it because "it's not worth it" and we can't be late for our next fast pass ride. They end up dragging us to a ride that was fun enough, but I would have much rather watched the parade to see all the characters.

My spouse and I start proposing that we split off in between rides so we can look at stuff and shop around if we want. We get to do a lot of fun things on our own, including a little pirate treasure scavenger hunt around Adventureland. When we stop for dinner, FIL suggests a place that only has burgers. Having to juggle a burger around in my stomach while powerwalking through the park sounds nauseating, so my spouse and I eat somewhere else. We go on all the rides we can, I manage to get some souvenirs I wanted, and then we watch the fireworks show. The parents are tired at this point and suggest maybe heading out, but BIL/SIL dismiss this idea because it will be a big crowd to leave (spoiler alert—it’s a big crowd all the time). Instead they drag us to a roller coaster. Fun, yes, but… right after that, they insist we should leave. They’re done.

I’m thirsty and getting frustrated because they literally want to power walk straight to the exit. I want to take pictures of the castle and look around Main Street cause it’s really pretty at night. I’m pissed off because I hardly got to see any Disney characters. My spouse sees I’m upset and asks if I want to stay a little longer. Then they go to talk to the family; I sit and try not to cry everywhere. My spouse comes back, we go get a snack and look around a little longer.

Turns out BIL/SIL didn’t like this deviation in the plans and told my spouse we were being selfish for wanting to stay, because can’t you see your parents are tired? (Remember, they had just dragged the tired parents on a roller coaster.) My spouse dug in and told them we just wanted 10-15 mins. Parents do nothing to help, other than scold my spouse for making their brother upset and starting a fight. My BIL/SIL then try to threaten that they’re leaving and we can just Uber back to the AirBnB. When I hear this, I'm just disgusted by their manipulative tactics; they’re not the ones driving the rental car and there is no way the parents are going to abandon us. So we take our time leaving and catching up.

Since then, it’s been contentious. MIL is sad because she feels she broke my trust and my spouse pointed out she didn’t do anything to stop the bullying. BIL is accusing us of being selfish, because we… pointed out their hypocrisies and refuse to accept their “I’m sorry if we hurt your feelings” apologies. They insist they were only trying to look out for the parents, when it’s clear they wanted to run the entire show and used their power as an excuse to bully my spouse around.

All I really have to say about it is that “I told you so.”

I’m glad I got to see Disney World, and the moments were fun, but I am never going on a trip with my BIL and SIL again. They did exactly what I knew they were going to do, and when called out on it they took to the bullying tactics against my spouse that I’ve watched them do for years. They are manipulative and cruel people, even if they don’t realize it; they’re only upset because my spouse isn’t just rolling over and taking it this time. (Something about how it’s hurting me and not just them, I guess. Heh.) The two genuinely think they’ve done nothing wrong.

I'm also relatively mad at MIL and FIL. I don't really blame them too much because I think they got stiffed during the vacation too. They just went along with everything without arguing just to "make the kids happy." But I do very much dislike how they let BIL/SIL bully my spouse all the time, and get mad at us for "making things negative." I'm sick and tired of them telling us to shut up and keep our feelings to ourselves so we don't cause problems. In the meantime, they let the spoiled brat younger siblings bully us and even let them pull the parents in so they can gang up on us.

I'm not putting up with it again. And even if that causes some waves, even if it changes our dynamic in the family, I don't care.

A part of me wishes we never went on this trip at all, but I feel like that's unfair. I want to enjoy the fun I did have on this trip, regardless of the bullies. So I will. I'll enjoy the happy memories, and cut them out of my memories if need be. I have no problem cutting out toxicity, I assure you.

[i-write-boop-spoops]

Boopy's dumb thoughts on Pokemon Violet

It’s MY blog – and MY birthday – and I get to talk about the latest Pokemon release over a month after it came out because I want to!!!

Feel free to ignore, agree, disagree, leave your own thoughts, tell your friends you love them, eat a nice meal, etc, etc.

Spoilers for the game! Also not bothered to proofread lol

Ok so I’m gonna start off with the stuff I didn’t like very much. Gonna try keep it brief because I otherwise really enjoy the game and a lot of my takes are common in the fandom

I have seen CGI from 2002 power rangers specials that look better than this game

Frame rate is crunchier than gravel sometimes

Honestly,it’s embarrassing that a game from 2022 looks and runs this badly

Especially since PLA released earlier that year, and while not perfect, it ran much better

SV definitely needed an extra year or two in the oven

I hate how most houses can’t be entered and that most shops are menus

Wish you could pet your mons again, not just wash them

WHY IS PUTTING BREAD ON A SANDWICH SO DIFFICULT

In the options at the start of the game where you’re asked by someone (might be Nemona, can’t remember) what dream you have, why can’t you answer with ‘be a trophy spouse for a hot champion’?!

Steven should cameo in this game (I will NOT debate this)

Really miss the catching mechanic from PLA, woulda worked amazing here

I love that Pokemon is going in a more genderfluid direction when it comes to character customization (and NPCs too)

But I wish there was a skirt option for the unifotms (and not just for the f! mc, for everyone!)

Also the uniforms are so ugly… please let us change out of em soon gamegreak!

I actually… don’t like Penny that much

Out of the trio, she’s the least like a friend

She’s also the least interesting member of Team Star

And she’s kinda mean :/

AI Turo (AI Sada in Scarlet) saying the real one actually loved Arven in the end felt like a complete lie to me – I couldn’t believe it not one bit – ruined the story a bit honestly

Ok, now it’s on to the positive stuff

Wish Miraidon would make a funny honk noise like a clown car

also i have mad beef with ed sheeran so his somg being included was NOT appreciated

ARVEN

Man I just love this guy

Hence why you can now request him!

The enemies-to-best-friends arc is amazing!

He’s fun and passionate and caring and a bit of a tsundere and I love him!

And his Mabostiff? Precious boi!

That whole story with him and his doggy had me tearing up by the end

And the stuff with his dad was heartbreaking

I love Nemona too!

Such a fun rival!

She’s a quirky tomboy with a great design

Lowkey love that she’s from a rich family

I love how she’s basically obsessed with you

The animation of her ponytail is so pleasing

Her and Arven debating who was the better friend was lowkey hilarious

Any game with a cooking mechanic is automatically top-tier

I have made some RANK sandwichs and it’s so funny every time

The absurdity of the Clive/Clavelle thing had me dying istg

IRON VALIANT

I R O N  B U N D L E

Paradox Pokemon in general honestly, brilliant idea all around

Loved Area Zero, especially the deeper you got

It was so sparkly!

I loved the designs of most of the towns

I loved Artazon, Porto Marinada and Cascarafa the most

Your home is so cute!

Terastalization is fun and dumb and I love the goofy, sparkly hats

The ghost tera-hat being the gen 1 ghost sprite is great!

Tera-raids are great craic!

Loved playing online with friends

It was so fun to travel together!

Love the face/hair customizations

Especially since you can customize right away and don’t have to wait until you reach the first salon like two hours in!

I don’t think there was a bad mon this gen

Here’s some Pokemon I really liked

Clodsire

Fuecoco (the whole line actually)

Fidough & Dachsbun! (probs my faves)

Greavard!

Goldango (silly lil cheesestring man)

Miraidon

Lechonk

Smoliv

Toadscool

Klawf

Tatsugiri

Tandemaus and maushold

Bellibolt

Brute Bonnet

Cetoddle (baby!)

The dogs in this game are peak, gonna do a dog-only playthrough someday

The Academy is amazing!

I enjoyed the lessons and the teachers!

The fact that the Home Ec teacher is an extremely buff guy is amazing

Love the Psyduck librarian

And the Gengar who did the night duty!

Loved the gym leaders so much too!

Larry, Grusha and Ryme are probably my favourites

Iono’s gym test was so funny I loved it

The designs of the human characters this gen were PEAK

I want Dendra’s outfit, Eri’s outfit, Grusha’s outfit, Katy’s outfit, Miriam's outfit, Sada’s AND Turo’s outfits

I am a big baby, so I loved skipping basically all the battles with random trainers lol

Man that ending with the AI Turo reveal and fight was so fucking sick omg

I enjoyed every single path in this game

Great music

The final cutscene of The Way Home was… so good

Riding on Miraidon was so fun!

Clavelle asking what Cheugey meant was unreal

I like the idea of champion being an official rank, and multiple champs existing

Yeah, the graphics aren’t great, but damn some of the areas in the game are still so beautiful

I loved how the sky looked and changed too

In case you forgot

I R O N  B U N D L E

Ok so in summary, this game has serious issues that really should not be present in such a recent game HOWEVER the characters and story were amazing, there were some awesome Pokemon, and it was super fun and enjoyable to play.

[crimberly]

Rambling here because tumblr feels safer to post on. Also I just want to share the steps I have taken: This is a story about recovery.

Content warning: mental health, depression, body image, transphobia

I feel just like happy-venting. I been recovering from cPTSD and was never diagnosed with a few mental health conditions that would of been very important to know. Like... autism lol. Trauma off-set major burnout that lead me to losing control of my life and suffering major agoraphobia. Like never leaving my home. There were times I could never see myself going outside again, everything gave me panic. I was so unhappy and in this terrible pit. My spouse stepped up and helped me and I was well taken care of. But there where times I felt guilty from where I once had a job and was making our household income to just being incapable of doing necessities like getting groceries or even at one point cleaning. I spiraled, it was bad... Like severe depression not-get-out-of-bed BAD.

Now crim why are you sharing all of this? Because I think talking about recovery is important.

See my life during that time was the roughest. I won’t go into my trauma, I don't want to highlight it and I have boundaries--- but I will add an additional thing that held me back was the company I kept. To go through so much and to have a group of people not uplift me. Friend trauma... is another topic I think should be kept in mind. There was a point that some serious fallout happened over a confrontation I had with someone, lot of the issues revolving around my autism. I was expected to read the room and know my friends where upset with me when I was incapable, and then it just all blew up. Next thing I knew I was ghosted when I told them I needed space to heal from the interaction. My entire friend group I have known since high school just ghosted me.

I blamed myself. Clearly I was a terrible person. I always fucked up. I was unlikable. At least that’s what I told myself at the time. To be frank, if this ever makes the rounds and if you were in that friend group. You were abusers. There were people who called me stupid, I was always the joke. Even when I said I didn't like something you made me feel like I was too sensitive and the only one with a problem. You sat there and held past mistakes over peoples heads. Had unfair expectations, and expected people to adhere to your time but never respected mine. All while I had undiagnosed ASD.

Then I found out I was transgender. My world continued to crumble.

But again this is a recovery story. While yes, most of my friendships are online and even if some hiccups happened. I made new friends. I felt like I was cringey and sometimes I feel like I say dumb things. But the thing is, even if I did, people always held me up and made me feel appreciated and listened to. I started to learn that I was indeed likable. It never made sense to me but this is where a major shift started to happen. There where transphobic people and others that never accepted me. But for those who did and have stayed with me, you helped my trauma riddled brain piece together the pieces of what healthy human friendships actually look like. For that I will always be grateful and hold you all dearly in my heart. Confrontations seemed less and less scary to me. I started to learn that I wouldn’t have people just yell at me if we disagreed. And people just wanted me to feel comfortable and happy.

And the trans thing... OH LET ME TELL YOU BEING TRANS in 2019-2023 (when im writing this) I HAVE LEARNED TO TRULY AND UTTERLY NOT GIVE A FUCK AND SELF LOVE.

When the entire world sometimes feels like it hates you, and you are the center of a “lol culture war”. When everyone looks at you and thinks you are deranged... When your EXISTENCE is political. You learn how to not give a fuck. I will be the first to tell you being trans is harder than being a US Navy sailor/airman. Because surprise, Im a US Navy Veteran, and Im trans. Oh and covid didn’t help my agoraphobia either.

Finding myself and learning that I was trans, meeting healthy friends and getting diagnosed with autism has saved my life. I am the happiest I have been, and I can see more happiness is in store for me in the future. Therapy of course, but I have been going to therapy for years even when I shut down. I have been in therapy since I was in the military back in 2015. But what has truly saved my life is just embracing myself and learning that I am important. How can I be a good friend/partner/caregiver if I cannot love myself and let myself just be who I am? This of course took years and time to gather my thoughts around, I still struggle with dysphoria and body image issues, but I no longer internally abuse myself. Instead I go “oh Im not where I would like to be but I will get there maybe.” So I started buying what I want, I started doing my hair how I want. TRANS JOY is important. I got with a doctor who has helped me learn a lot of what I did was just autism. I started working out to feel good for the HEALTH benefits and not for body-image issues. I eat things that make me feel good and that I like. I take care of myself now, even if I still struggle.

I also have learned I never was a bad person, I was just autistic. My body didn't feel like mine? Shit I m trans. Feel like Im cringey and I say stupid things? It ok your friends still care and enjoy your company, they will tell you if you go over boundaries. The world started to feel less scary. Covid? Do what you can to personally be safe and responsible. Mask up, wash your hands. Its ok if you dont wanna talk or engage with people in the store. Take headphones to ignore everyone and just get your shampoo and go.

People became less scary. Someone passes by you and they give you a funny look? Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe they are having a bad day. Im in a public space Im ok. If I bother them...oh well, Im here for milk. If I bother them while buying milk that says more about them than me. But I digress. Recovery is like a roller coaster and it takes a very long time. I started taking walks. Started sitting in the car. Told myself if I was scared of driving I would drive when not many people where on the road. But you see where this is going. Learning who I am, loving who I am. Forgiving myself is what got me here.  But that took time and effort, therapy and changing my social circles. But today I went to the store, got my medication, I made a hair appointment and I will be going by myself. I have stuffed animals with scent-disks in them that help me unwind when home. And now I’m contacting a community college to start going for a summer mini-semester. A year ago I could never see myself doing any of this.

But you know what I think about now that I don’t use all that energy mentally hurting myself? I want to go on hikes, I wanna ride bikes. I wanna go out and see the world. I want to meet people. I want to explore. I don’t just wanna experience it in a video game, I want to live these things that make me feel alive. I want to draw, share stories, have good times. I want to experience sunlight, I want to see a field of flowers--- so much more--- I want to live. 

And before covid, I could not leave my bed and going to go get my mail gave me a panic attack.

I just wanted to share this. Maybe it wont go anywhere or reach anyone, maybe it will. But I just want you all to know you matter and embracing joy and love is life saving. Recovery is not easy. Recovery takes time. It’s rocky, messy and feels so unpredictable. However if you are ever in that pit, and feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. That you feel incapable to get where you wanna be. I will be honest with you, Im autistic I refuse to beat around the bush. It all starts with steps. Small steps and knowing that there is fulfilling experiences waiting for you.

You never know who you will meet, who will become a friend, and what little joys you will experience.