#now that the thought of losing Mario has left a giant void in his life

[roscolate]

I wasn’t expecting to cry before I went to bed, but here I am 😭💔

ACT 1

ACT 2 -1 <<< 43 / 44 / ?

[rabentochter]

8. “we used to be happy.” with winterfrostiron if the inspiration strikes, mayhaps? again, full permission to make it as painful as you want it to :)

TW: MCD :D

Bucky thinks he’s numb, and only that. There is no room for anything else for him, there are two giant voids already occupying what moves him and they’re sucking him dry. He’s glad for that, he really is, because it means he can avoid thinking.

Feeling.

He doesn’t want to feel. Not right now, preferably not again if he can get a word with life and how it keeps puling one over him, starting from the fall from the train all those decades ago—

The sunshine is tickling on his face, he feels the warmth on his cheeks, soft and feathery. It’s much alike a teasing from Loki, his chaotic nature so refreshing in face of what Bucky has seen in his old days. It never failed to make him crave more, chase it until he got it – until he got to kiss the coldness, feel it on his lips and buried his hands in soft and dark locks, and turned into warmth.

There’s a breeze, playing with his hair that’s got so long that Bucky wants to cut it off – but he remembers all too fondly Tony’s delight at its length. More for him to play with, more for him to braid, to pull, to card his fingers through. Touches that Bucky misses.

He is– a lot has happened within a few days. Before Thanos snapped his fingers, Bucky used to believe – prayed – that his lovers were safe even with Tony busy and taking care of his spiderling, and Loki helping Thor out in space. They were chaotic, reckless, but so was Bucky but somehow—

He is the only one of them left here, something went wrong catastrophically, and Bucky doesn’t know how he could assume they were safe in this war. His heart is heavy from learning of Loki’s demise – the same day he got snapped too – and Tony had been in space, ensuring his charge was protected and the time stone would not fall into wrong hands. He could still hear Tony’s determination to get back, they had a reservation later that evening and Loki was due to be back that evening as well. They wanted to catch up.

And yet—

The only one who’d come home that day had been Tony, and that months later. Only to learn that neither Loki nor Bucky were waiting for him, both gone – one forever, one mayhap temporarily.

For five years.

Bucky doesn’t want to imagine the pain Tony must have gone through, can only hope that he felt the same numbness Bucky is experiencing. Loki won’t come back, there isn’t even a grave for him that Bucky can visit and mourn at, lay flowers down and let go. Tony won’t come back either, there is only a recording for him in the Iron Man helmet and the warm red and the gentle golden hues are mocking him. He’s listening to it once, stared at Tony and took him in.

Tony’s tired eyes but his determined gaze, the way he was clutching one of Loki’s stupid helmets like it’s the only lifeline left for him. Perhaps it’s one of the only things they have of Loki because despite being a prince, Loki never really owned something. Just his stupid armour that he wore that day, and the helmet that he exchanged too. Thor doesn’t have anything, can’t even recall where they were attacked, only somewhere in space. An explosion.

We used to be happy, Bucky, didn’t we? Tony’s voice so soft but he knew, knew that he was going to leave, would leave Bucky here behind for the rest of the time.

Never thought I’d end up losing my heart to two assholes at the same time who can’t play Mario Kart, I mean how low of a standard is that? But hey, if I’m wrong, I’m more than happy to give you another chance. You should be back tomorrow at 12 if we don’t fuck up collectively. Looking forward to it, there’s lots to be said, you know. But not that we get too sappy here. There’s no grave for Loki, just before you ask Thor – they burn their dead, but I’m sure he’ll get a kick out of it if you talk to some ash in the fireplace, Buckaroo. Stay safe, otherwise I’ll eat whatever looks remotely like you’d enjoy it and I feed DUM-E your screwdriver, capiche?

A last smile, so unlike the one Bucky saw on the battlefield when he met Tony. That one had been fleetingly. There’d been no time, no time to catch up, there were aliens around and tried to kill them.

Now he wishes he’d have stopped Tony forcefully. Hugged him, at least, no matter if there was metal separating them, as long as they would have had something—

More than just this farewell at a lake where Tony lived the last few years and grieved. Lived. More than an arc reactor being sent off. The sun catches the metallic circle, a last blink of white, and it’s gone again – as is everything that Bucky holds in high esteem and used to hold his heart in their hands.

What is a house at a lake, his once dreamhouse, against the bleakness he’s staring into now? What are dreams when there is no one left he wanted to share those with? And perhaps he shouldn’t be that bitter, there still is Sam and he needs him, not that he would ever admit to it but Bucky can’t help but feel cheated on by life.

[suckasstakenames]

Craig and Those Guys Week: Day 5 - Sleepover 💤 🎮

The third and final oneshot I wrote for @craigandthoseguys-week !! Craig POV this time!

Thank you for reading!!

----

Token’s residence has always been the favourite hangout, so it was expected that the votes were unanimous when our group decided where to have our highly anticipated boy’s night. My house usually had adult guests over during the evening, Tweek’s parents don’t leave us alone at his place, Clyde wasn’t a very good host, and Jimmy’s parents had completely banned any of his friends from going over because of the aftermath when they went out of town once. Playing fantasy in fourth grade had it’s consequences.

Mr and Mrs Black even decided to take a spa trip so that we’d purposely have the house to ourselves. Risky, but I guess Token is reliable enough to make sure the house is in pristine condition by the time they get back. Even if the rest of us aren’t.

After the four of us shared a car to get there, we were joyfully greeted by Token at his front door and led up to his room. Only it wasn’t Token at the front, it was Clyde, who excitedly (and pretty rudely) barged right in front of us all. We’re all equipped with sleeping bags and rucksacks, each carrying a different assortment of things. Well...besides the essentials.

We collectively decided that I would be in charge of bringing booze to the occasion. My parents were the only ones who didn’t give a shit if I hoarded a large amount of alcohol, so there was no debating it.

Clyde had brought a TON of junk food. He regularly had a pantry stocked with all kinds of goodies (when he wasn’t scoffing it himself) so he just grabbed whatever he could find and stuffed it in a bag.

Tweek was in charge of DVD’s. Being the anxious wreck that he is, we figured it would be best that he picked the film selection so that he didn’t get too disturbed by anything. I did help him out a little, though.

And lastly, Jimmy took it upon himself to come up with any backup plans, incase we got bored with anything. We had no doubts that he would think of some fun shit to do, or bring something that would entertain us. After all, we’d do anything to avoid going to sleep early.

Token had a good amount of food and entertainment himself, but we thought it was only fair to handle our own, since his parents were being so accommodating to us. Plus, he had every video game console thinkable, and a good game selection at that. We were more than prepared.

~

Walking into Token’s oversized bedroom, Clyde drops his backpack on the ground and launches himself onto the kingsized bed starfish style.

“You know you’re not sleeping there right...?” I remind him.

“Unless you’re s-s-spooning with T-Token.” Jimmy jokes from behind me.

Clyde just nuzzles into the bed even further. “I’m sure he’d be happy to have me.”

“Uhhh like fuck I would...” Token retorts, “Your ass is on the floor.”

Clyde turns onto his side and attempts his sexiest pose (which, believe it or not, wasn’t sexy at all). “Don’t be like that baby~”

“Just get over here and unroll your damn sleeping bag” Token says, throwing the sleeping bag directly at Clyde’s head with perfect aim. The impact sends him flying backwards. I thought Clyde was supposed to be the sporty one out of us? He can’t catch if his life depended on it.

Tweek stands next to me, shaking his head and smirking. It definitely isn’t a first for us to witness antics like this; we’re so used to it, it’s unbelievable. I take his rucksack off him and put in down next to mine.

“Here, I’ll take care of your bed.”

“Ngh! Craig, I’m fine doing it myself, really!”

I ignored him and started to set it up anyway. But the little shit went over and grabbed mine instead. Tweek can be a stubborn fuck sometimes, but it wasn’t all that much of a bad thing.

We’d all laid out our sleeping bags in a line (in front of the television, of course) as the sun was just about to set outside. Mine was on the far left, with Tweek next to me, Clyde next to him and Jimmy on the right. We changed into our pyjamas and nestled into our sleeping bags, Token sitting down right in the middle of us. Damn right were we gonna make this a proper conventional slumber party.

Token switched the TV on and some animal documentary was showing. There was a lioness with some lion cubs and it was telling the story of their survival.

“No way?! You’ve got the Nintendo Switcheroo!” Clyde exclaims out of nowhere, making us all jump out of our skin. He crawls over to the console to investigate. Token looks pissed off as Clyde’s big-ass head was blocking some of the screen, and he seems kind of invested in the lion story.

I sigh. “…you did NOT just call it a fucking Nintendo Switcheroo..."

“Of course he’s got one man! He owns everything!” Tweek jokes.

“Yeah, p-p-pauper.” Jimmy stutters. Token just blows a raspberry in response.

“We need to play Mario Kart. We’re playing Mario Kart. Right now.” Clyde dictates.

I groan and roll my eyes. I thought that game had died many years ago…however…when it WAS a thing, I did kick some serious ass.

Fortunately the game box was staring him right in the face, so he started trying to set it up, taking out the disc and trying to figure out how to switch the console on.

Meanwhile the documentary was getting pretty dramatic, as a group of hyenas were closing in on the mother lion and her kids. She was fighting them off, but then the narrator explains how she left behind one of her babies while doing so. It shows one of the hyenas circling the cub like a shark.

Tweek yells out, turning his head away. “Oh god hurry up Clyde!! It’s gonna eat the cub!!”

“I’m trying!!” Clyde whines, pressing any button BUT the correct one. It was clear he wasn’t a fan of the documentary either by how frantic he was being.

The hyena started closing in on the cub.

“CLYDE!! PLEASE!!” Tweek holds his hands over his ears, trying to completely shut it out. I try and comfort him while looking over at Token as if to say ‘don’t just sit there, help him’. He does exactly that and crawls over, pressing a button on the side with ease. Thankfully, the channel automatically switches over and the game console loads onto the screen. I feel a giant exhalation of relief coming from Tweek, who finally withdraws himself from burying his face in my chest.

~

Eventually the title screen appears with the familiar Mario Kart jingle playing. Jimmy starts to wiggle along to it, which, of course, persuades Clyde to dance too. Tweek and I decided we’d share the controller and take it in turns since there could only be four players at once.

When it came to selecting our characters; Token picked Mario, Jimmy went for Toad, and Clyde settled for the ‘Fly Guy’ (Shy Guy). I let Tweek pick our character and he went for Yoshi.

The first course was selected and it was one of the basic Mario stadium courses. Tweek passed the controller to me and the race began. Clyde and I zoomed off ahead, Token went at a normal start, and Jimmy pressed the button too early and caused his kart to blow up.

“Fuck…f-f-f…f-fuck a duck.” Jimmy curses.

I end up taking the lead by quite a bit, Clyde chasing me in second. He’s super competitive; the kinda guy who leans in the same direction as he steers. He was constantly targeting me; sending red and blue shells in my direction at any chance he could. Typical.

The race ends with me in 1st, Clyde in 2nd, Token in 5th and Jimmy in 8th.

“Loser chugs his beer!!” Clyde makes a terrible suggestion. Jimmy rolls with it anyway, grabbing a can of beer and impressively chugging while Clyde and Token count from 10 down to zero. Jimmy can be a real dark horse. Well…maybe not when it comes to Mario Kart though.

Race number 2 is some sort of jack-and-the-beanstalk type level. Tweek takes the wheel this time, and it proved to have been a bad idea. The road has a lot of holes and tight corners without barriers, and Tweek somehow managed to fall off every single one. It even got to the point where the CPU in first place was lapping him.

Of course, he was very vocal about this. “Jesus are you kidding me?! How are you supposed to make that turn?! HOW?!”

Token ended up in 2nd place, Clyde in 4th, Jimmy in 5th, and Tweek…in last place. Before the other guys could even suggest it, I grabbed my can of beer and chugged for ten seconds. They just looked at me dumbfounded, including Tweek. Like hell was I gonna let Tweek chug his beer; I don’t even think he’s opened his can up yet. We’re a team, and I’m the one who’ll be taking the consequences.

The next race came around and it was one of the Bowser castles. Clyde struggled in this level, while Token, Jimmy and I were in the top three. Clyde, after somehow blaming Token for his loss, ended up coming 9th and chugged his beer like there was no tomorrow.

The last stage loaded up…Rainbow Road. Of COURSE Tweek had to get the two difficult courses... I kept my beer in my hand ready to chug again.

The race starts; there goes Clyde. Plummeting into the void below.

Jimmy starts off pretty well but eventually starts to lose his skill when it comes to the tight corners.

Token is a little better than the other two, but he keeps getting hit with items from the CPUs and ends up being knocked back in the placing.

With Clyde in last, Jimmy in 11th and Token in 9th…where does that put Tweek, I hear you ask? Well... Tweek was driving so slowly and cautiously that he managed to dodge the majority of the corners. Then he got a bullet item on the last lap and soared his way right into 2nd place. He even gave an excited little fist pump when he crossed the finish line.

“…...I think that victory alone deserves a chug from all of you.” I insist, slinging my arm around Tweek. He chuckles in response.

After a few groans and eye rolls, the three of them reluctantly chug their beer while Tweek and I counted down from 10.

~

A couple hours later and Jimmy had decided that we were going to play drinking games. How old were we again?

Tweek even agreed to it, intrigued at what kind of secrets were going to be revealed during this.

“Never have I ever…gotten arrested!” Token starts.

Well…we’ve all been in trouble with the police at some point, but actually arrested? Hmm…I’m sure I got caught with something illegal once. I drink anyway.

Jimmy drinks due to causing grievous bodily harm to his ex girlfriend, Nancy.

Clyde drinks due his whole involvement with the Nazi zombies and stealing the green goo from the government.

Tweek doesn’t drink because he’s never actually been arrested. Of course, he’s still been in trouble with the police like the rest of us back in our ‘vigilante’ days.

Next it was Jimmy’s turn. “N-never have I ever been awake for more than t-t-twenty four hours.”

Clyde doesn’t drink. The dude can’t function without at least 8 hours of sleep.

Token takes a sip while telling us about how one time he’d spent all night studying for finals and then worked a 12 hour shift the next day. He makes way too much work for himself sometimes...

Tweek and I both drink. Do I even need to explain Tweek’s reasoning?

“Uhhh…never have I ever…broken somebody's heart.” Tweek takes his turn.

Fuck, another shot for me. I had no regrets when it came to making girls cry when I was younger. He manages to catch the other three out too; Clyde and Token even clink their cans together, sighing disappointedly. We’re a gang of heartbreakers.

Clyde is up next. “Never have I everrrr…..sent a text to the wrong person!”

Nobody else drinks but Jimmy; I figured he would be pretty flippant in that area.

But then I realised something.

“…wait…that is horse shit.”

Clyde looks at me bewildered. I whip out my phone and bring up Clyde’s texts. I can feel Tweek’s chin resting on my shoulder, taking a peek.

“3 weeks ago. Wednesday, July 10th. 9:24pm. ‘hey babe u looked gorgeous on ur recent instagram pic, u got nice legs’.” I look back up at him with a blank expression, Tweek chuckling next to me.

Clyde goes completely silent for a minute, his face flushing bright pink. Jimmy and Token laugh a little too, Jimmy putting his arm over Clyde in sympathy.

“Are you s-sure he doesn’t just think your legs are nice, C-C-Craig?” Jimmy winks at me.

“Jimmy…when have I ever showed my legs on Instagram.” I scoff.

“There’s a first for everything!” Token jests.

~

In the early hours of the morning we find ourselves sprawled across the floor in our sleeping bags, watching All Dogs Go To Heaven - a film that Tweek had chosen. He was resting his head on my lap, and when it neared the end of the movie, I noticed him sniffing. I reached down and wiped away the tiny bit of water that had appeared under his eye. Meanwhile, Clyde had used up an entire tissue box, Token wasn’t even watching the film because he was cleaning up after Clyde, and Jimmy was making fun of every little aspect of the film.

When the movie finished we moved right onto another one; some cheesy comedy that Token had suggested. Mainly because Tyler Perry was in it.

Clyde was asleep within minutes; mouth wide open and snoring like a pig.

It didn’t take long for Jimmy to doze off too, clearly not impressed with the humour.

Token was now in his bed, snickering to himself and eating potato chips. From the angle he was at, he probably didn’t realise that all four of us were completely disinterested in the movie.

Tweek was snuggled into the side of my neck, slowly drifting into dream world. I drew circles on his back with the tip of my fingers, using my other hand to play with a strand of his thin blonde hair. A few years ago this would have never been a thing; there’d only be the four of us, with Tweek hanging out with entirely different cliques. Luckily the guys were quick to accept him into our group once we started dating, and treated him like one of us immediately.

I guess that’s one of the many things I can thank them for.

----

[junker-town]

5 NFL preseason trades that would make a lot of sense

Melvin Gordon and Trent Williams want new deals, if not new teams. Here’s where we’d like to see them end up.

The 2019 NFL season is a month away, but that doesn’t mean this year’s opening day rosters are anywhere close to set. Teams will spend the next several weeks analyzing their strengths and weaknesses before coming up with the 53-man combination they hope will be Super Bowl-worthy come February.

While most of the moves that lead up to Week 1 will be relatively minor, a few landscape-changing trades could be on the way. Contract holdouts this summer have turned impact players like Melvin Gordon, Trent Williams, and Jadeveon Clowney into potential August trade bait.

These megadeals don’t happen often, but when they do it can change the outlook of the league. Khalil Mack turned his quest for a record-setting deal in Oakland into a division title with the Bears after being traded last September. Two years ago, the Bills sent Sammy Watkins to LA, where he led the resurgent Rams in touchdown receptions. In 2016, the Vikings gave up a first-round pick for a revitalized Sam Bradford following Teddy Bridgewater’s devastating knee injury.

Sometimes these moves fuel a playoff run. Other times they end up being a relative waste of draft assets. But if we were given omnipotent NFL general manager powers this preseason, here are the moves that would be on the top of our wish lists.

Washington OT Trent Williams to the Browns

General manager John Dorsey pushed his chips to the center of the table this offseason, sacrificing assets and cap space to bring expensive veterans like Odell Beckham Jr., Olivier Vernon, and Sheldon Richardson to northeast Ohio. Adding one more would shore up one of his team’s biggest weaknesses. While Greg Robinson has provided a nice redemption story after washing out with the Rams and Lions, he’s still a shaky option to protect Baker Mayfield’s blindside at left tackle.

Williams would be an immediate upgrade. The seven-time Pro Bowler has consistently been a sunbeam bursting through the never-ending tempest of Washington football. He’s currently looking for a new deal that pays him like one of the league’s top tackles (he is) and is also reportedly untrusting of Washington management and its training staff. He’s ripe to be freed.

There will be several bidders for his services — Houston and Minnesota are also in need of a franchise pocket protector — but another bold move would be right up Dorsey’s alley. Losing Mayfield due to injury would be an especially Browns way to derail their momentum. Dorsey needs to take as many drastic steps as he needs to keep that from happening. — Christian D’Andrea

Cowboys OT La’el Collins to the Texans

This is a trade that could benefit both teams. We all know that the Texans desperately need help along the offensive line — remember, Deshaun Watson got sacked 62 times last year and the Texans used their first-round pick on a project tackle who may end up playing guard.

Collins isn’t an elite offensive lineman, but he could pretty easily be the best one Houston has. Plus, his contract expires after the season and the Texans are projected to have a boatload of cap space in 2020 to extend him.

It could also help the Cowboys in the long-term as well. They’re still working on extensions for Dak Prescott, Amari Cooper, and Ezekiel Elliott. That’s going to create a sticky cap situation to navigate for the next few years, so acquiring more cheap contracts through the draft is something that would be beneficial for them.

Letting go of Collins for the 2019 season would sting for Dallas, but in the grand scheme of things it might make life a little easier for them in the coming years. (Please don’t attack me Cowboys fans I’m just thinking out loud.) — Charles McDonald

Texans Edge Jadeveon Clowney to the Panthers

Houston’s in a tough spot with Clowney. He has the potential and elite athleticism to be one of the game’s most disruptive pass rushers, though he has yet to hit that ceiling. Is that worth a nine-figure contract extension for a team that already features two highly paid cornerstones (J.J. Watt, DeAndre Hopkins) and is slated to give Deshaun Watson a huge new deal in the next two years?

Given Clowney’s steady improvement and recent health, it probably is — but let’s look at the other side of that coin. The versatile defensive end/linebacker would be a boon for a Carolina team with the punishing interior pass-rushing duo of Kawann Short and Gerald McCoy but limited support on the edges of the pocket. The Panthers ranked 25th in the league in sack rate last season and were even worse in blitz downs.

Convincing the Texans to give up a prized part of their potent defense would go a long way toward fixing that. And even though Carolina has less cap space in 2020 than Houston, the potential retirement of Greg Olsen and release of Dontari Poe would free up approximately $25 million in room next spring to retain Clowney via expensive extension. Throwing a Clowney, Mario Addison, Bruce Irvin, and rookie first-rounder Brian Burns defensive end rotation around the middle of a defense led by Short, McCoy, and linebacker Luke Kuechly would made the Panthers an intimidating out against any opponent in 2019.

The Texans have the cap space to keep Clowney around on a market-resetting deal if need be. The question is whether they’ll want to make that move knowing it could eat into the resources needed to reinforce an offensive line with the structural integrity of a bread bowl. If Houston decides Clowney’s not worth a long-term investment, there’s some logic behind trading him while he can still fetch value in return — not a lot of logic, granted, but it’s still a consideration. Should the Texans part ways with the former No. 1 overall pick, the NFC South could be waiting. — Christian D’Andrea

Chargers RB Melvin Gordon to the Bills

For a brief moment in the weird Antonio Brown-Steelers divorce saga, the football world thought the receiver was being traded to Buffalo. There was a lot of pointing and laughing at Brown, who — according to Ian Rapoport — was about to be jettisoned to NFL Siberia in Upstate New York. He was set to play for an offense that was dead last in passing touchdowns. Alas, it didn’t come to be, although one could definitely argue getting traded to the Raiders isn’t much better.

All that to say, Gordon getting traded to Buffalo would probably be received the same way. After requesting a trade from the Chargers, it’d look like a giant middle finger to the running back if he were sent from a contender to the Bills — no matter how bullish you are on the young roster’s upside.

Here’s why Gordon would have reason to be happy about it, though: The Bills could give him the contract he wants.

Buffalo has over $22 million in cap space for the 2019 season and is currently projected to have about $60 million available in 2020. One reason for all that freed up space is that LeSean McCoy — who counts $9.05 million against the cap this year — is set to hit free agency next year.

The Chargers are reportedly holding firm to an offer of $10 million per year for Gordon. That’s a little insulting to the two-time Pro Bowl running back when Todd Gurley, Le’Veon Bell, and David Johnson all have deals that average at least $13 million. The Bills could easily give Gordon a deal that averages about $13 million and still have more room to build.

Buffalo could use the help too. McCoy is 31 now and averaged a career-worst 3.2 yards per carry in 2018. Chris Ivory didn’t fare much better with 3.3 yards per attempt. Maybe Frank Gore and T.J. Yeldon will help in 2019, but neither is the future for the Bills at running back.

Gordon could be that — and give Josh Allen a reliable threat in and out of the backfield for years to come. — Adam Stites

Browns RB Duke Johnson to the Jaguars

Johnson’s status in Cleveland is up in the air. Although the Browns want the versatile tailback on the roster to serve as a valuable receiver out of the backfield, Johnson is unhappy with his spot on the roster after the offseason signing of Kareem Hunt and has requested a trade to search for bigger opportunities elsewhere.

One place he’d be able to shine is Jacksonville. Johnson’s receiving chops would give him the chance to immediately fill the void left behind by T.J. Yeldon, who had 55 catches one year ago but is now in Buffalo. Johnson would almost certainly see more targets in Florida than he did in Ohio, too. The Jags’ wide receiver and tight end depth charts are pretty grim.

New quarterback Nick Foles will spend his debut season in Duval County searching for playmaking targets who can move the chains. Foles hasn’t been prolific when it comes to finding runners on screens or wheel routes — only 18.3 percent of his targets the past two seasons went to running backs, per Pro Football Reference — but that could change in an instant given the lack of talent he’s facing downfield.

Johnson would also have the ability to showcase his skills as a runner on a team that’s still focused on making Leonard Fournette — he of the career 3.7 yards per carry average — happen. If Johnson wants a role beyond just third-down back and third man up on a roster that includes Hunt and Nick Chubb, Jacksonville may be the perfect place for it. — Christian D’Andrea