#now that i got through my exam I'm probably gonna end up crying at some point this week | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fanmoose12 · 2 years ago

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These months I've been studying for the MCAT and what can I tell you... I'm really stressed out. You'll probably know how it feels, you have to study day and night I haven't got a nice sleep yet and I'm having headaches and I cant stop crying. This is the worst part of my life rn. I know is gonna be worth it but is difficult to stay positive.

I want to feel better and levihan is my favorite ship, it always brings me happiness and I was wondering if you could write a small drabble about Hange in a Modern AU being really stressed out and almost giving up like me because they are studying for a really hard uni exam (whatever field you choose if you want to) and Levi is there to comfort his lover because they are going through a really rough time.

I would love seeing Levi comforting Hange because I know during this days you need someone you love by your side to give you support. I sadly dont have that person I love by my side to support me but maybe reading this drabble would help me to feel that love and support, because I really like how you write Fanmoose and you always make me feel the emotions of the characters by text and is truly amazing. Keep up the good work and stay safe! ❤

Levi has seen all of this before - the mess of discarded papers, all littered with broad, chaotic strokes of Hange's handwriting, the circle of dirty coffee cups, the towers build from boxes of cheap takeout food, Hange themself on the floor, sitting amidst this clutter, agitated and with vigor pouring out of them.

The tears brimming at the end of their lashes, glistening in the light of the desk lamp, however, that's... that's a new development. An extremely concerning one.

"Hey..." his hand that grazes the side of a doorway is just as hesitant, as is his voice. "Four-eyes, are you-"

"I'm fine!" Hange exclaims - way too quickly and with too much energy for their answer not to sound forced. "Fine, fine, I'm fine..." with every 'fine' they mutter Levi realizes just how not fine they're. "Just a little busy with work. This new research the university has entrusted to me is a bit more nuanced than I thought... Definitely much more nuanced than they thought, but, hey, it's nothing that some digging cannot solve."

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Huh?" back to their papers already, Hange looks back at him with eyes wide open. They blink rapidly, appear confused, the circles under their eyes - way too dark. "What did you say?"

"Hange," Levi's voice grows sterner, his concern - deeper. "When was the last time you've slept? Or took a break longer than needed for you to go and take a shit?"

"Hm..." they bite at the end of their pen. "Today is Tuesday, right?"

It was the evening of a Thursday. And if Hange failed to take note of that... Levi sighs and strides decidedly inside their room.

"Hange," he crouches next to them on the floor, tries not to wince at the stench that's emanating from them. "You need to sleep."

"I know, I know, I will, I just need to figure this equation out first. Then..."

"No." Levi hisses lowly, snatching the notebook out of Hange's palm. Hange tries to fight him, but even on their best days - Levi remains the stronger one. And today, it's no challenge to him at all. "You're going to take a break. Now."

"No, Levi, you don't understand, I-" and there they are, the tears, they return. In full force. Hange tries to wipe them with their sleeve, but tears don't stop, and soon - their face turns into a mess.

Levi exhales, swipes their hand away and wipes their face himself. His touch is gentle, careful, his eyes worried and sad. When the snoot is gone from Hange's cheeks, he pulls them closer, wraps an arm around them and lets them continue sobbing into his t-shirt.

"I don't know how to solve it, Levi," Hange murmurs, clutching at his back. "I try and try and try, but..."

"Shh," he rocks them gently, presses his lips against the crown or their head, greasy hair be damned. "You just need a break, Hange, then you'll feel better. That big brain of yours will feel better too. And in the morning, you'll solve whatever shit you couldn't."

"And if I still won't be able to?" Hange asks in a voice so weak that Levi's arms subconsciously tighten around them. "What if I fail, what if I-"

"Are you working on how to solve the world hunger? Or cure cancer?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then the world won't end if you fail. The world will still be there, waiting for you to try again. And again, if needed to. But you won't be able to continue trying, if you don't take a break and rest."

"B-but-"

"All people fail, Hange, cut yourself some slack. Now, come on," Levi raises, helps Hange get to their feet as well. They waver as they stand upright, Levi's hold on them is unwavering, however.

"Uh..." Hange says, sheepishly, with some of light returning to their eyes. "I think I'm hungry..."

Levi nods. "You also are exhausted. And reek like shit."

Hange's hand goes to their head, they weave fingers through their hair, grimacing as they do so. "Mm, perhaps, you're right. I do need a shower."

"But first," Levi starts pushing them forward. "Let's get some food inside you. Real food," he adds, glaring at the discarded boxes of takeout.

"You'll cook for me, I hope?"

Levi looks up at them, his expression deadpan. "Do I have a choice not to?"

Hange giggles, leaning more into his side. "What I'd have done without you..."

"Die from exhaustion or asphyxiation after falling asleep with your nose still in your notebook."

"Rude," Hange says. "But probably true." They pause then, features turning more serious. "Thank you, Levi, for... always taking care of me. I know I'm not the easiest partner to deal with but..."

"Taking care of your giant brain is my duty to the universe. And taking care of you, you weirdo," he says, voice that much softer, "is my personal pleasure."

#levihan #anon!!!! i totally feel you bc when i was going through med school i struggled with my classes constantly #but.... it does get better and studies do become that much more interesting and less frustrating #hope you find your strength and inspiration soon!!!

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coridallasmultipass · 1 year ago

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Personal update (1/2) and memories from going to the ER this day: (TW gynecological exam, endometriosis, gender dysphoria, medical setting)

So I had some mad abdominal pains on this day that were really sharp and not getting any better, notably on the appendix side, and I was worried that might have been what was happening. I had had a period like over a week before this day, so I was certain it couldn't have been leftover cramps. I went to the clinic, but because it was a Friday evening, they were like, "Just go to the ER, they can do all the scanning for you." So I walked back to the dorm, in pain, made up a bag and told my roommates I didn't know when I'd get home. And walked to the ER. It was a terrible time to be in an ER in NYC. Friday night, lots of people in there and screaming and causing a ruckus. I'm alone and in pain and just scrolling my phone and waiting most of the time, not knowing if I was gonna get surgery or not until I got scanned and the doctor checked it out. I got morphine, which didn't really do enough to help and just made me get that overstimulated painkiller-on-an-empty-stomach nauseous feeling. They gave me extra strength ibuprofen after that, which helped a bit more when it was combine with the painkiller. After many HOURS, the scan said my appendix was fine, and the doctor said that a pelvic exam should be done to eliminate any other probable causes. Now, this was PEAK (okay, maybe not peak, but on the ascent to the peak) GENDER DYSPHORIA TIME for me. I manned up and said yes to the pelvic exam, but I was so upset about it inside. The doctor was male (which was always preferred for me), so a female nurse had to come in with us. This nurse had been scrolling Facebook for the hours I was there, pointedly not checking up on patients, so I was already kind of annoyed at her. (I could see her screen through the curtain around my bed, but she was still way across the room.) Anyway, the doctor was very polite, but I'd still never had a pelvic exam. I'd never had sex, I'd only been fingered. The exam was excruciatingly painful. (Pelvic exams are always stupidly painful for me, despite what other people say. It's like sticking a knife up there.) I was already in pain, so what's a little more pain on top? What hurt more, though, was the nurse making grossed out faces as she handed the doctor the tools. She was doing like a comedically 'grossed out' look and going, "ugh" under her breath. Like I wasn't even in the fucking room. Asshole. It's my first pelvic exam, and this nurse was treating me like dogshit on her shoe while I'm all naked and vulnerable and in pain and sick. To top it off, the doctor says some stuff about 'women' the whole time, I didn't even process it, I was like crying before that giant tool got yanked out. Basically my options at that point boiled down to: get admitted to the hospital for pain management, or go home and take prescribed pain meds and see if it goes away on its own. I obviously wanted to go home. I was left in the room to cry and panic and clean myself up. It was the worst sinking feeling knowing that, medically, I'm 'a woman' and that that's all anyone is ever gonna see me as, because of the organs I have inside me. I felt even sicker. Deep emotional, dysphoric sickness. My greatest source of dysphoria has always been my uterus. It traumatized me monthy since I was 11. (And it's still torturing me today, even though it's been removed.) I ended up walking home some time around 1 or 2 AM, still in pain, just taking a snail's pace, trying not to think about anything that happened. It felt really lonely. (To be continued, ugh, why does Tumblr have a limit on text posts, it's just words ffs.)

I make my own get well cards.

#endometriosis #medical #gender dysphoria #personal #reblogs again

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chaeryybomb · 4 years ago

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BRUTAL

pairings: female reader x best friend!jungwon

summary: they told you that these were the golden years, but to you "golden" was a rusting metal spray painted yellow. the story of a seventeen year old trying to survive high school when all you do is try your best. but your best friend jungwon makes it worth the while.

genre: high school au, friends to lovers, fluff, tiny bits of angst if you squint, attempt at humour

featuring: jang wonyoung, kim sunoo & nishimura riki

word count: 4.5k

warnings: reader having a existential crisis most of the time, strong language, mentions of insecurity

the sour series masterlist

You slumped forward the moment the bell rang, letting your head hit the table. You could care less if a bruise would form on your forehead, you had much bigger things to worry about. Your teacher left the class wordlessly as the class was busy doing their own thing. And by that, everyone was buried nose deep in studying. You lifted your head to see the different books of the same topic scattered on your desk, a yellow highlighter balancing on the edge of your table.

Reaching over to grab the highlighter, you turned your head over to the side to look at your desk mate. Wonyoung sat there looking straight out from a k-drama, with her hair flowing down her back perfectly and her slender nimble fingers moving as she continuously wrote in her notebook. She was smart too, fluent in English and Korean, great at maths and science. And on top of that she was kind and friendly, everyone loved her. You did too, you had the honour of calling her your best friend. But sometimes you felt insecure around her, everything she did looked flawless and there you were just trying your best.

"Ack!" You yelped as you sat up straight, holding your forehead. Wonyoung rolled her eyes at you with a small smile on her lips, she had flicked your forehead to get you out of your thoughts.

Without taking her eyes off the textbook, she tapped your own workbook with her pen. Silently telling you to stop procrastinating. You pouted at her and looked at the clock, 10 minutes before lunch. Maybe a walk to the girl's bathroom would do you some good.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you whispered to Wonyoung. She nodded and smiled at you before you walked out.

As you strolled towards the girl's bathroom, you passed by the bulletin board outside your class. A bright blue poster stood out with the words "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH" in white. Scoffing at the message, you continued on your way.

"I'm seventeen now, where's my fucking teenage dream?" You muttered to yourself. You were tired of waiting for your life to end up like a coming of age movie. Everyone told you that these were the golden years and you should enjoy your youth, but you swear to god if you hear another one of those cheesy sayings, you might just cry on the spot.

Reaching over to open the stall door, you halt in your actions when you heard familiar voices talking.

"I'm so worried for finals, my parents are gonna kill me if I fail English again," a girl complained. You hear the sound of tap water running. "How are you so calm during this time, Mirae?'

"What's the use of studying hard anyways," the second girl, Mirae, said. "We all know the top spots are gonna be taken by Jang Wonyoung and Yang Jungwon, I just study enough to pass."

The other girl snorted at her reply. "Imagine if those two got together, the power couple of the year," she suddenly said.

"Poor Y/N then, she's gonna be over shadowed by them."

"As if she already isn't. I almost forgot they were a trio until you mentioned Y/N," the girl laughed.

"What can I say? They're out of her league," Mirae joined in with her laughter.

The two voices faded away as you heard the door closed. Finally pushing the door open, you looked at your reflection. Your eyebrows knitted in annoyance and your face was morphed in a scowl. You washed your hands aggressively and poked the inside of your cheek. What bugged you was that they were right. You were the black sheep between Wonyoung and Jungwon. Both of them were smart and amazing, and you're just…you.

You love your best friends, you truly do. But you were constantly compared to them and you hated it. Everyone wanted them, you watched as guys tripped over to confess to Wonyoung and girls squealing when Jungwon smiled at them. The two of them always reassured you that you weren't beneath them but you were sick of their sympathy. You're so caught up in the news of who likes you and who hates them. You just wished people liked you more.

Storming out of the bathroom, someone accidentally ran into you and caused you to fell onto your butt. The student immediately stood up and scurried off, not bothering to even a mutter an apology. All I did was try my best and this is the thanks I get, you thought bitterly.

They said that these were the golden years, but you wished you could just disappear. God, it's brutal out here.

"Y/N, wait up!" Jungwon called after you.

You stopped in your tracks as you watched Jungwon waved goodbye to some students before jogging towards you.

"You heading to cram school today?" He asked you as the both of you fell into the same walking rhythm.

You shook your head, clasping your hands behind. "I moved it to Thursday instead, Wonyoung said I had to many things on Tuesday," you told him. Originally, you would be heading to the library to study before heading over to the cram school. But Wonyoung took one look at your schedule and decided that you did not had enough breaks, so she managed to convince you to take the Thursday slot instead. Thursdays are one of the days where you would not go to the library.

Jungwon seemed to be disappointed to find out that you had switched slots. Maybe he should changed slots too, but does he have any empty spots open for Thursday though? He'd have to check later. Instead, he coughed and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Do you wanna come over later? The new Demon Slayer movie is out," he offered, hoping that you'd accept.

Unfortunately, you once again shook your head. "Sorry Jungwon, I'd want to cram even more later. Finals are really creeping in and I can't afford to waste any time," you told him with a sad smile. As much as you would like to ditch the books and watch Demon Slayer, the glaring C on your last history paper was telling you otherwise.

You stopped walking when you had reached your doorstep. "Thanks for walking me home, Jungwon. See you tomorrow!" and with that you disappeared behind the door.

Jungwon waved goodbye as he watched the door closed. The smile on his face dropped and his shoulder sagged. Jungwon you idiot, of course she would want to study, he scolded himself. With disappointment on his face, he trudged home with a heavy heart.

"Change of plans, guys," he announced as he swung the front door open, unfazed by the fact that Riki and Sunoo were lounging on his coach. He accepted the fact that Sunoo had somehow gotten the keys to his house (suspecting that his mother probably gave it to him due to favouritism or maybe Riki had sneakily made a copy).

Riki's head poked out from the couch. "She rejected you, didn't she," the younger boy said with a smirk.

Jungwon's face ears turned red as he glared at the boy. "No she did not!" He immediately told him. "She rejected the offer to watch the movie, that's different!"

"That's basically rejection, hyung," Riki laughed.

The other boy just glared at him. "Shut up!" he sputtered out before hiking up the stairs.

Sunoo gave Riki a look, to which the Japanese boy just shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Jungwon walked out from the shower, a towel around his neck with one hand running through his damp hair. Sunoo and Riki had left earlier, finally giving him some peace and quiet. His phone screen was flashing from his study table, initiating that someone was spamming him (quite aggressively) with text message. With a raised eyebrow, he picked up his phone

[7:09 pm] wonyoung: JUNGWON

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: WHY DID Y/N JUST MESSAGED ME ABOUT HOMEWORK

[7:10 pm] wonyoung: ISNT SHE WITH YOU

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: I THOUGHT YOU SAID U WERE GONNA WATCH A MOVIE

[7:11 pm] wonyoung: DEMON HUNTER OR SMTG

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: WHY IS SHE ASKING ME FOR HW

[7:12 pm] wonyoung: DID U CHICKEN OUT???

[7:13 pm] wonyoung: omg u chickened out didnt u

[7:14 pm] jungwon: jfc wonyoung

[7:15 pm] jungwon: and no i did not chicken out okay

[7:15 pm] jungwon: she declined

[7:16 pm] jungwon: she said she had to study ;-;

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: omg u suck

[7:17 pm] wonyoung: i told u the movie idea was dumb

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: but do u ever listen to me

[7:18 pm] wonyoung: no

[7:19 pm] wonyoung: and now u suffer the consequences

[7:20 pm] jungwon: yea yea i get it im dumb

[7:20 pm] jungwon: now what's ur solution the great jang wonyoung

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: i am so glad u asked :)

[7:21 pm] jungwon: oh no

[7:21 pm] wonyoung: stfu im giving u a better idea

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: a n y w a y s

[7:22 pm] wonyoung: my ynradar is going off and she's s a d

[7:23 pm] jungwon: how would u know

[7:23 pm] jungwon: she seemed fine today

[7:23 pm] wonyoung: stfu jungwon its best friend things u wont understand

[7:24 pm] jungwon: i-

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: and as her future bf u SHOULD start to train ur ynradar

[7:25 pm] wonyoung: anw its exam season stoopid

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and its when those kids start to talk abt how the both of us are gonna get top scores

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: and they talk down on y/n while doing so

[7:26 pm] wonyoung: assholes

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: so i propose to u

[7:27 pm] wonyoung: a ✨ study date ✨

[7:28 pm] jungwon: i

[7:29 pm] jungwon: that's

[7:29 pm] jungwon: actually not a bad idea

[7:30 pm] wonyoung: obv i came up with it

[7:31 pm] jungwon: can u not

[7:31 pm] wonyoung: anw a study date

[7:32 pm] wonyoung: she's struggling in maths

[7:33 pm] wonyoung: specifically taxes because she said and i quote

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: "why do we have to do taxes when we pay people to do it for us"

[7:34 pm] wonyoung: so pls help her and try to cheer her up

[7:35 pm] wonyoung: and confess coward

[7:36 pm] jungwon: i make no promises for the last one

[7:36 pm] wonyoung: aFTER EVERYTHING I JUST SAID

[7:37 pm] jungwon: what if she rejects me wonyoung

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION A LOT OF TIMES JUNGWON

[7:38 pm] wonyoung: SHE LIKES U BUT SHES TOO DUMB TO REALISE

[7:39 pm] jungwon: sigh

[7:40 pm] jungwon: fine i'll try thanks wonyoung

[7:41 pm] wonyoung: np i expect y'all to be a couple by next monday <3

[7:41 pm] jungwon: i-

Sighing for the nth time of the night, Jungwon sat on his bed. He allowed the towel to slipped off his shoulders as his thumb hovered over your chat icon. Truth be told, he always thought his crush on you was unrequited love. You never showed any signs of returning of feelings so he thought he would just ignore the feeling until it was gone.

But oh boy was he wrong, because he didn't knew that he would be spending his high school years by your side. And now you occupy his mind 24/7. Wonyoung could literally tell that he was in love with you, but somehow you never caught on. He allowed Sunoo and Riki to convince him to do the whole "movie date idea", but that failed. So Wonyoung's suggestion was his only option left.

He typed out the message, ready to send it out. If only he could just press the button. Come on Yang Jungwon, you can do this. Just press the damn button Jungwon. Suddenly his phone pinged loudly, scaring the lights out of the poor boy as he yelped and his phone landed with a thud on the ground. He peered over his bed, as if his phone was a ticking bomb.

Oh, it was a message from you.

[8:01 pm] y/n: hey do u know where wonyoung is

[8:01 pm] y/n: she isn't answering my texts

Oh no. He realised that your chat was open, the two ticks indicated that he had (unintentionally) read the message. He couldn't just leave you on read. That's just evil. Scrambling to get his phone, he immediately typed a reply to cover for the other girl.

[8:02 pm] jungwon: sorry i don't :/

[8:02 pm] jungwon: what do u need her for

[8:03 pm] y/n: mf was supposed to teach me a maths question but she left me on rEAD

This was his chance! It was the perfect opportunity for him to score a date with you. Okay, breathe in breath out Jungwon. Don't mess it up and just ask her, he mentally prepared himself.

[8:04 pm] jungwon: oh i could help you if you want

[8:04 pm] jungwon: yk with finals coming up and everything, i can help you study

[8:05 pm] jungwon: if you want of course

[8:05 pm] y/n: omg srsly??

[8:06 pm] jungwon: pls help me study my braincells are literally dying

[8:07 pm] jungwon: jdsjkda okay how about this saturday at your place?

[8:08 pm] y/n: yeah sure

[8:08 pm] jungwon: cool its a date then!

You blinked at Jungwon's message. A date? Wait, did Yang Jungwon just indirectly asked you out? Nah, nah. You were overthinking it. Yes, definitely overthinking. Don't kid yourself, why would Jungwon ask you out on a date? Jungwon is just a friend, you tried to convince yourself.

Keyword: tried.

If he really was just a friend, then why did it felt like butterflies were in your stomach when he said "it was a date"? Then why did you frowned when those girls said that Wonyoung and Jungwon would make a good couple?

Oh god, do you have feelings for your best friend?

Saturday came faster than you would have liked it to. Ever since that last chat with Jungwon, it gave you the sudden realisation that you did in fact had feelings for your best friend. You tried so hard to avoid him in school because you don't want the butterflies back in your stomach. It was basically confirming the fact that you like him. Well, avoiding him also confirmed the fact but you choose to be in denial about it.

You didn't tell Wonyoung about your study date but lately she's been sending you outfit ideas on Pinterest. Specifically, date outftis. And whenever you tried to ask her a question about school, she brushed you off with a random excuse. So it left you no choice but to save those questions for Jungwon.

Speaking of Jungwon, he had texted you 10 minutes ago that he was on the way. You were standing in the middle of your room with your hands on your hips. Both of your parents were out for the day, which left you alone at home. You had taken out the low table to be used later and it was currently in front of you. Colourful workbooks were neatly stacked on top of it.

You did a 360 turn around your room. Was it messy? You cleaned it this morning when you woke up. Did you had any clothes out? No, doesn't look like it. For some reason, you were a nervous wreck. You blamed Jungwon. He just had to call this a date, didn't he.

Should you change? Maybe you should finally look through all those pins Wonyoung sent. Wait, no, why would you have to change into something nice. Jungwon was here to help you study, just that.

Yeah, a study date, your mind emphasised on the word.

The sound of the doorbell pulled you out from your thoughts. You immediately went to open the door. Yang Jungwon stood there on the other side, with his signature smile. Had he always resembled a sheep? He just looked so fluffy.

"Hey!" You greeted him with a smile, internally wincing at your way-too-enthusiastic voice.

But Jungwon didn't seem to mind it. "Hey!" he greeted back.

You moved to the side to let him in. "Thank you for having me," he said as he bowed then proceeded to remove his shoes.

"Uh, do you want anything? Water?" You asked him.

He shook his head.

"Ah, cool. Let's head to my room," you started to walk back to your room.

"Where are your parents?" He asked.

"Out," you simply replied.

That was when it dawned upon you, that your parents were not home. Leaving you and Jungwon, alone. Together. In your room. Alone. With the boy you potentially have a crush on.

"Y/N?" Jungwon tapped on your shoulder. You had stopped walking when you were suddenly washed over by your thoughts. Snapping out of it, you sent him a small smile before opening the room to your door.

The both of you shuffled into your bedroom, you sat down in front of the low table while Jungwon settled down next to you. He moved to take out his books then turned to you. "How about we do some studying and if you have any questions, you can ask me okay?" He said.

You nodded and flipped your own workbook open, immediately starting to work on the first question. Jungwon copied your action and a comfortable silence engulfed the both of you. As the time passed, you found yourself stuck on a certain maths question.

You slightly turned your head to the side to look at Jungwon. He was concentrated at doing his work, you felt a sense of deja vu while looking at him. He resembled Wonyoung when she was studying. At the thought of Wonyoung, you suddenly thought of what those girls said at the bathroom.

They would make a good couple, wouldn't they, you thought. The power couple of the year.

The butterflies in your stomach faded away into an uncomfortable feeling. Just the idea of them getting together already made you sick. You bit the inside of your cheek, you really did had feelings for him. And now it scared you because what if he doesn't feel the same. You made a mental note to consult with Wonyoung later, at least you hope that you'll allow yourself to tell her.

Jungwon must've noticed you staring and gently tapped your head with his pencil. A contrast to when Wonyoung painfully flicked your forehead.

"What's wrong? Are you stuck on a question?" He asked.

You leaned back a bit at the sudden action. You were so deep in your insecurities that you had totally forgotten about the literal problem sitting in front of you. Yet you couldn't even bother to ask him so you just shook your head. "I'm gonna get something to drink," you said instead.

Jungwon watched as you stood up, then decided to follow you as well. "I'll come along."

The boy joined you in the kitchen, perched on one of the island stools as you grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. He studied your movement as you worked around the kitchen. Your features were neutral, you weren't smiling nor frowning. But he could tell that your shoulders were tensed. Wonyoung was right, you did seem down. And he cursed himself for not noticing earlier.

"You okay?" His question made you stopped in a mid-pour stance, the can of soda was tilted but not enough for the contents to be poured out.

You brushed his question off and poured the drink into the cup. "Yeah," you hummed.

Unconvinced by your answer, he pried more. "You know you shouldn't care about what they say, right?"

You furrowed your eyebrows at him, pretending like you didn't understand where he was coming from.

"You're not below us, you know that right?"

You couldn't help but scoffed at his words. Jungwon's lips tugged downwards "I'm being serious here, Y/N," his tone was stern. "You shouldn't listen to what they say. You're more than just-"

The sound of the can being slammed down shuts him up. Your fingers tightened around the can as you looked at him. You didn't had the energy to hear him preach the same old "Don't Listen To Them" speech. You don't need his pity.

"I don't want to hear it, Yang Jungwon," you said through gritted teeth. Not sparing him another glance, you threw the empty can into the trash as you grabbed your glass.

As you walked past Jungwon, he suddenly reached out and held onto your forearm. "Y/N," he said softly. "Please tell me what's wrong."

You sighed and slowly turn around to face him, placing the glass back on the counter. You took in a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "I feel like I'm not enough," you finally said. "Everything I do just doesn't seem enough. All I'm doing is my best but it's just crushing my ego because everyone is telling me that you're better than me."

"I feel like no one wants me and I hate the way I'm perceived. It's always poor Y/N this and poor Y/N that's because everyone just sees me as your shadow and I fucking hate it. I only have two real friends," you gestured wildly. "And lately I'm a nervous wreck cause I keep comparing myself to the two of you. I'm not cool and I'm not smart, and I can't even parallel park!" You threw your hands up in frustration, the feelings you kept inside were pouring out like a waterfall.

Jungwon just stood there as he listened tentatively to every word. He didn't knew that you felt this way, bottling up all your emotions like that.

"And I'm so tired of people telling me to enjoy my youth and that these are the golden years. I might just fucking cry if I hear those words again," you finished ranting. It felt good, it felt like a weight on your heart has been lifted. Then you remembered that you just dumped all of it on Jungwon.

You opened your mouth to apologise to him but he surprised you by pulling him into his arms. At first you were standing stiffly at the sudden contact, but it took a millisecond for you to melt in his embrace. His arms were gently around your back and you returned the hug by wrapping your arms around his torso. The two of you stay in that position for awhile, relishing in each other's embrace. You definitely needed this hug.

Tightening your hold on Jungwon, you realised how important he was to you. He was your best friend and he was always there for you. It was stupid of you to compare yourself to him, when all he did was tried his best for you. The taller boy chuckled when he felt you rubbed your face into his shoulder, he involuntarily released a contented sigh. You felt one of his hands stroked your hair, it felt comforting. That action itself was enough for the butterflies to slowly settled back in you.

After a while, both of you finally (unwillingly) released each other. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ears and said, "You're wrong by the way." Which made you tilt your head in genuine confusion.

"You are cool and you are smart. You're like the coolest person I know. And no one thinks of you as our shadow, you don't hear it but I've always hear the juniors praising you for helping them and how enthusiastic you are," the way he delivered his words was filled with pure awe for you.

"And who cares if you can't parallel park. You didn't hear it from but Jay hyung failed his drivers test three times just because he couldn't parallel park," and that got a laugh out from you. Jungwon smiled proudly that he managed to make you laugh. "And you're wrong when you said no one wants you. I want you."

You blinked once, twice and thrice. He wanted you? "You're just saying that cause you're my best friend," you replied.

"No," he firmly said. "I like you, Y/N."

(Jungwon doesn't know where he got this sudden surge of confidence, but the mood was the perfect time for him to confess. It was a one time chance and he had to take it.)

You chuckled. "I like you too, Jungwon. We are friends aren't we?"

"No, Y/N. I like you. More than friends."

"Oh." Oh.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of neck awkwardly. Oh no, did you not feel the same way?

While you on the other hand, were malfunctioning on the inside. Your best friend just confessed to you and you were frozen on the spot. Why couldn't he had done it over text instead. If he had done it over text, then you could've left the message unread and you could've spammed Wonyoung for help. But the thing is that it wasn't over text and you couldn't just tell him to wait here while you panicked to Wonyoung in your bathroom.

Yang Jungwon likes you. And you like him too, right? Because if you didn't, your cheeks won't be heating up right now and your heart would have not be beating rapidly like it was going to break your rib cage any second. If you didn't like him, there would have never been butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You like Yang Jungwon, you like him a lot.

"Me too," you whispered, it was soft but it was enough for him to pick it up. Jungwon eyes snapped to you, doe eyed filled with hope. "I like you, too," you said, this time louder. And you made sure you looked him in the eye when you confessed.

You watched as Jungwon's mouth morphed into a big grin. He let out a sigh of relief and dropped to his knees, surprising you. "Jungwon!" you squeaked, bending down to help him.

"I'm fine! I'm fine," he assured you as he stood up with your help. The grin on his face was still there. "It's just that … you like me," he breathed out. "You like me back, wow. I-I can't believe it."

Your face was definitely burning with embarrassment. You punched him lightly on the shoulder, turning away to hide your face. "Believe it, you dork. I like you, okay!" Somehow his grin was able to grew wider at your words, Gently, he took your hand in his.

"How about we stop this study date, and I'll take you out on real date?"

a/n: thank you so much for reading this <3

#enhypen #yang jungwon #jungwon #enhypen imagines #yang jungwon imagines #jungwon imagines #enhypen x reader #yang jungwon x reader #jungwon x reader #kim sunoo #nishimura riki #enhypen scenarios #yang jungwon scenarios #jungwon scenarios #jungwon fluff #enhypen fluff #yang jungwon fluff #chaeryybomb; the sour series

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stellarrmoon · 4 years ago

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Before I die, I'm tryna fuck you, baby

Pairing: Bokuto Koutaro × fem!reader

Genre: Smut

Honorary Mention: name??? kink

Status: unedited

You were at a volleyball tournament that your cousin was playing at. You had to support him since you hadn't seen him in a year or so and his team was playing against the nationally known Fukurodani volleyball team. The actual game hadn't started yet but you were there early because you wanted to cheer him up before he had to go play.

"You're gonna do amazing, cuz. I believe in you!"

Your aunt's eldest son looked down at you with a smile, embracing you in a hug of gratitude. "Thanks, y/n. I hope we win but if we lose then we'll lose with dignity. The country's 4th top ace is in their team after all."

"Wait really? That's insane. I wonder what he looks like."

You didn't know that that curiosity of yours would be solved in the next 5 minutes. When it was time to go to the stands, you bumped into a quite beefy (in your words) person's chest and judging by the number 4 on the front of his shirt, you guessed that he was on one of the teams in the tournament.

"Hey, hey, hey, be careful, pretty lady." He had a pretty playful voice and you looked up to see a smirk on his handsome face.

"Oh. Excuse me, sir." You bowed your head and walked on when he stepped aside for you. But you couldn't help but look behind you as you continued your journey and the grey and black back of his head stayed in your mind the whole walk to the stands.

Once you got there, you saw that the teams were already on the court, in their huddles, getting themselves fired up for the match. People were cheering all around you for their respective teams and you called out your cousin's name in support. He looked up and found you instantly, putting a thumbs up in the air.

The Fukurodani team did a small warcry before dispersing to their positions and when you saw who their wing spiker was, your jaw dropped. The smirk that was on his face was a bit different that the one you saw earlier and as soon as the whistle blew, you figured out why.

The match was intense and while you were meant to be looking at your cousin, your eyes were stuck on the wing spiker, who you realised was the 4th ranked ace your cousin was talking about. He flew and slammed each and every ball that was set to him and after each spike, he let out a cry of victory. You thought it was quite attractive, seeing how fired up he got but at the end of the match, your heart broke a little for your cousin seeing how they were beaten 2 sets to 1.

"I'm so sorry, cuz, you'll get them next time."

You spent the next 20 minutes cheering him up and catching up with him before his team had to leave for their next match. Before you knew it, the tournament was over and you bid your cousin adieu as their team bus left for their home school.

"Was that your boyfriend, pretty lady?"

You gasped when a sudden presence appeared beside you. It was the beefy dude. Aka the wing spiker, ace and captain of Fukurodani. "Wow, when did you get here?"

"I've been watching since the other team entered the bus. Wanna answer my question?"

You shifted your position to face him and damn, you could've swooned right there. His nose bridge was perfectly straight and the only curve was the upturn between his nostrils. His lips were a luscious baby pink and his eyes a golden brown. Coupled with his confident aura, this man was hot.

"Enjoying the view? I don't blame you."

You smiled in amusement, "If you must know, that wasn't my boyfriend, that was my cousin."

"Oh, well that's good news for me."

"And may I ask why?"

He looked you up and down before biting his lip and saying, "That means you're free to take."

You couldn't help but get embarrassed at his statement and suddenly, you wondered why you hadn't called a taxi yet. "You're very... confident with your words sir."

"It's my specialty." He smirked again but this time, it was a bit lazy, which made him seem more attractive to you. "Are you waiting for someone?"

You got out your phone and started to call a local cab agency, "No, I've got to order a cab."

Unexpectedly, he gently took the phone from your hands and ended the call just as the number had answered. "Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I've got a car."

Even though you had just met this guy, you decided to accept his offer. He told you that his name was Bokuto Koutarou, which had a nice ring to it once you got used to the pronunciation. You told him your address and before you knew it, you were back home. "Hey, I didn't even give you directions."

"Well, sweetheart, that's because I live right next door to you." He said it so casually as if it was a mystery why you hadn't met each other till then.

"What?! Since when?"

"We moved in last month but since I'm always having practice, I usually come back home later than everyone else in the neighbourhood. Anyways, it was nice meeting you, pretty lady. I'll be sure to see you again."

You exited his car and walked to your porch chuckling at the odds. You had a feeling there was more to happen than you thought.

Weeks went by and it turned out that your room was directly across Bokuto's, which meant that you could wave to each other through your windows every morning when you got ready. He'd be wearing his uniform to go to his school and so would you when you saw each other before leaving.

He didn't take his car though, which meant that you couldn't get any more car rides from him. But it was probably for the best since you couldn't stop having dirty thoughts about him. It's how your day would start, seeing as you imagined having his school tie wrapped around your neck while he pulled you towards his face so you could-

See?

Sometimes you would have conversations through your windows but they were often short seeing as you were both in your final year and had to study for the last exams and for some reason, everytime he cut your chats short to go back to the books, it made your heart pound.

But it wasn't to say that it wasn't the same for him. Seeing you in that short, plaid skirt did something to him and he didn't particularly enjoy having a boner while going to Fukurodani High.

One day, he came back home early since there wasn't any practice and saw you changing through your window. Well, not exactly, but he could see your silhouette through your thin curtains and my, my, did he not almost drool.

You took off your shirt first and threw it on your chair, then your skirt came off next. The curve of your spine blended perfectly with the rounded shape of your butt and he subconsciously bit his lip while his eyes stayed glued to your form. He guessed that you were now only in your underwear and the thigh high socks you had to wear and his pants immediately felt tighter at the image. "Fuck."

Before you continued to take anything else off, he turned away and went to go have a cold shower. Deep down, he was nervous wreck. The confidence was natural to him but when it came to you... it seemed that it was wearing thin.

Only a few days went by and Bokuto caught you every time after school when you were changing. He felt like a pervert for using the short scene to masturbate every single night.

That saturday, your mother asked you to go take over some muffins to the house next door, because she had met the parents of the home earlier that week. You were fine with it until you realised that it was the Bokuto Residence and you would see... him.

Softly, you knocked on the door and unbeknownst to you, a shirtless Bokuto Koutarou answered the door. Both your eyes widened, his with shock and yours with embarrassment. He was sweating and you watched as a few drops travelled down his hard chest, six-pack abs and into his shorts via his very prominent v-line. "Woah..."

"Hey, hey, hey. Nice to see you in front of me again, pretty lady."

He propped his elbow on the side of the door so you could see his laterals and biceps become more prominent and you felt yourself swallow. "Uh- my, uh- mom. Cupcakes. Bring over. I–"

He took the container from you and opened it, while raising an eyebrow. Inside were red velvet cupcakes, with white, cream icing on top and they looled good so he took one. One bite in, he closed his eyes and moaned, "Mmm, sweetheart, that's delicious."

When he opened his eyes, they were lazier as he licked the icing on his lip off. "T-thanks. I'll tell her that..."

You left immediately after that and as soon as you entered your room, jumped onto your bed and screamed into the pillow. Even Bokuto heard it from his kitchen while finished his 3rd cupcake and he furrowed his eyebrows.

You couldn't believe you saw him like that. He looked so... hot. His black and white hair was drenched in sweat and instead of classically being styled up, it fell over his forehead. Not to mention his amazing body and the... the veins that disappeared into his shorts.

"What the hell? What just happened?"

You stared at the ceiling for longer than you thougt and before you knew it, it was nighttime. Looking over to Bokuto's window, you saw that it wasn't covered by curtains. His bedroom door opened and he plopped onto his bed without noticing you. You were about to greet when he flopped onto his back and suddenly, his dick sprung up in the air.

What. The. Fuck?

You were frozen in astonishment and it was worse when you saw his hand start to slowly move up and down his shaft. He was moaning softly from the little you could hear through the open window and before you knew it, he was thrusting into his hand. He seemed so desperate trying to catch his high that you clenched your thighs as you felt yourself get wet.

"Mm, fuck, Y/N!"

And he exploded. You saw his cum shoot up into the air before it landed somewhere, you didn't know the exact place but, as soon as it happened, you closed your curtains and went to your shower.

Bokuto heard the noise but when he looked back, nothing was out of the ordinary. Except... his window. Wide open. "Shit."

When you were done with your (cold) shower, you saw a text from Bokuto that read:

Bokuto Koutarou: Hey, did you hear anything weird today?

You: what do you mean?

Bokuto Koutarou: like... from my house.

You contemplated your answer before responding.

You: nope.

He left the message on read and let out a huge sigh of relief. Thank God you didn't hear him or else he would've buried himself alive.

Both of you went to sleep feeling weird that night; none of you knew of the rest to come.

On Sunday, you were home alone and suddenly remembered that your mom asked you to fetch your container from the Bokutos before she left on a business trip. "Oh shit!"

You went over immediately, without thinking of what you were wearing and knocked. Luckily, Mrs Bokuto answered the door but she looked as if she was leaving. "Hi Mrs Bokuto. May I please fetch my mom's container?"

"Oh, of course, darling. Me and my husband are going away on holiday for the week and we have to leave for the airport now so help yourself, please? It's on the counter. The kitchen is to the right."

With that, she exited her house and her husband followed with two suitcases on either of his hands. He smiled in acknowledgement and without any more time to waste, their white Lexus sped off.

Like she said, you helped yourself in and went to the said kitchen. You were glad it was easy to spot the container because it really was on the counter. But what you didn't particularly enjoy was freezing when you heard a familiar voice speaking to you.

"Hey, hey, hey, pretty lady. Any reason why you're in my house?"

You turned and saw Bokuto Koutarou leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Thankfully he was dressed today. "Bokuto. Hi. I'm here to fetch my mom's container."

"Oh. And here I thought you were here to visit me."

You smiled sheepishly and started moving forward, container in hand. As you were about to exit the room, he moved in front of you, arms still crossed.

"Um..." you stepped to the side but he followed you. "Can I get passed?"

"No."

"Wh-"

"You can't get passed. I'm tired of playing your games, pretty lady."

"Bokuto-"

"Koutarou. Call me by my name."

For some reason, his hostile behaviour was making you... horny? The way he crossed his arms so his jacket stuck to his muscles like a second skin; the way his jaw was locked as he looked down on you with his golden eyes. The way he towered over you with his legs apart, his stance mimicking that of a predator about to catch its prey.

"Go on. Say it."

You hesitated and stammered. Instead of you usual strong voice, his name came out as a defeated whisper, "Koutarou..."

He took the container in your hands and threw it into the counter so that it banged against the wall between the cupboards and the former. You flinched at the loud sound, but impressed with how good his aim was. He took steps forward which made you step back in turn. This continued until your back hit the island in the middle of the kitchen and you had nowhere else to go. "You know what I'm talking about right?"

It sounded more like a statement than a question. "No..." You had a feeling that:

"I know, y/n. I know you saw."

"Saw what?" You didn't know why you were still acting clueless because it didn't seem to be working. But what made you finally succumb to his interrogation was when he forced his knee between your thighs and pressed his body against yours.

It was hot. Or was it you? Maybe him? You couldn't think straight with his cologne engulfing you. "Mmm... just like you to get sll flustered. You know how cute you look when that happens? Now I'm going to give you one more chance to admit to your actions."

"I... I did see." You sighed.

"Mhm. Tell me what you saw, pretty lady."

You closed your eyes and went limp, "I saw you cum. When you said my name."

He grabbed your thighs and lifted you so you could sit on the counter of the island, situating himself between your legs. "And did you enjoy that, princess?"

"I don't know."

He squeezed your waist.

"I think you're lying." He moved his head so that his lips were by your ear. "You know what I hate? It's how you don't know how sexy you are to me. Look at you." He was speaking so lowly and slowly that you were hooked on his every word– it was making your pussy quiver. "You think you can come into my house wearing that thin fucking sundress?"

Suddenly, his other hand moved under your dress, caressing your thigh and stopped at the apex where he rubbed his thumb back and forth on the soft skin.

"You don't even have any panties on." You could feel his smirk against your ear. "It's like you knew you were going to see me."

He pulled back and you could breathe again. He walked away, his large back moving further and further away from you as he stopped his antics. "Bokut- Koutarou, wait!"

He stopped and craned his head. He had such a beautiful side profile.

"I did see. And... I liked it. I liked it a lot. In fact, I've fantasized about you so many times since we met and I can't take it anymore."

"So what am I supposed to do about that, sweetheart?"

"Bokuto Koutarou... please fuck me."

It sounded like a plea for help and honestly, it was all he needed to unleash himself. The next few moments were a blur for you because you went from being on the island to being in Koutarou's bed, watching him strip down to nothing without shame.

"Koutarou." You breathed when you saw his dick – it looked even bigger than before. Was that going to fit inside you?

"I'll make it fit, princess." He grinned and beckoned you over to him at the edge of the bed.

You crawled on all fours, feeling your dress ride up over your ass and it was met with cold air. So now you were face to cock with Bokuto Koutarou and it looked like you were about to know the true meaning of choking.

"You're staring at it like you want it in your mouth." He caressed your cheek and let his thumb run along your bottom lip, pulling it down before releasing it. His strong hand grabbed a hold of his hard shaft and you felt a sudden slap against your face. "Is that what you want, princess?"

He slapped you with his dick. Due to the size of it, it was a bit painful but instead of feeling offended, you felt your wetness drip down your thighs. It was still in his hand, but this time, when he moved it, he placed the tip against your lips.

"Hm? You want this cock down your throat?"

You were looking up at him with your pretty brown eyes that looked like they were tearing up and it turned him on to no end.

He leaned over and to your surprise, swiped his hand across your slit from behind, collecting a sticky puddle of your wetness in his hand and placing it on his dick. Your eyes widened as he coated his shaft with it while your lips were still on his tip. "I'm gonna need you to be a good girl for me and take my cock well, okay?"

You nodded without hesitation and finally, you opened your mouth. In went his dick and you gagged immediately at the shear size as it touched the back of your throat. It was already slippery due to the coat of your juices but one thing was prominent.

"Can you taste yourself on my cock, baby? Hm? Do you like it? The way you're slobbered all over my dick?"

You couldn't do anything except blow him. Your cheeks hollowed out as you took him in and out, and in and out. Eventually he had his head thrown back and he was moaning out every other word like "baby", "fuck", and "you're killing me, princess".

It was another 5 minutes before he had enough and he pushed you onto your back, spread your legs as wide as they could and dived into your cunt. "Fuck, Bokuto!"

He slapped your thigh hardly which led you to yelp, making you wonder what you did to deserve it. "I told you to call me by my name."

You understood him perfectly. But the way his tongue moved against your clit didn't warrant any say of his name, or any word, even. All you sounded like was "Mmm" and "yes" and "please"; it was music to his ears. He coupled his tongue movements with two fingers inside you. You were tight around them so that he could barely separate them but the way he curled them towards himself hit a spot you didn't know you had. "Ohhhh my God, Koutarou."

"That's right, say my name, princess." He growled against your clit. He started getting more aggressive as time went on and eventually, he started hitting you on your abdomen, your thighs, and even your clit. Your nipples were straining against your dress as you arched your back, feeling a particular knot get tighter and tighter.

"Koutarou, I'm going to-"

"Do it, baby. Cum on my face."

He sucked and fucked until you did as he said, hips locking as lapped his tongue along your slit while you rode out your orgasm. Your legs were trembling by the end of it but he didn't feel like giving you a break.

"I'm going to fuck you so good, princess." He said as he climbed over you, kissing you deeply and letting you taste yourself on his lips. His tongue entered excitedly and he moaned into your mouth. Your dress was long gone now seeing as he ripped it straight down the middle.

Your chests were pressed together so your boobs were against his pecs and it felt so good to you that you let out a small mewl. While he planted kisses and bites down your neck, you caught your breath and looked up to the ceiling to see... a mirror. There was a mirror on the ceiling and that meant you could see everything that was happening.

Your worn out face. Koutarou's back muscles rippling as he paid attention to your chest and neck; his ass that you could imagine gripping onto as he thrusted hard into you.

He stopped what he was doing and looked into your eyes, "Are you ready?"

"For what?- Ohhhhh." You looked at your own face through the mirror above as he slowly pushed himself in. The stretch of your cunt felt so good that it hurt and you couldn't help but cry. "Fuck, Koutarou."

"Say it again." He started thrusting, "Say my name again."

"Koutarouuuu." You droned out.

His hips moved relentlessly. It seemed that he was waiting for this for a long time and now you understood why. It felt so good. "I fit so perfectly inside you, princess."

As his dick slipped in again, he hit the spot from earlier except, it felt so much more intense. "Yes, Koutarou, do it again."

And so he did. He was moaning along with you, whispering dirty words into your ear and the deeper he went inside you, the closer you were to cumming. You pushed his shoulders up so that you could see his face and as soon as you made eye contact, he smiled. It was so devilish and hedonistic and it fit him perfectly.

He bit his lip as he looked down to see yourselves colliding. In, out. In, out. That's what his dick was doing. In and out of your squelching pussy and so easily, that he could've sworn that your hole was made for him. "Koutarou, I'm going to cum again."

"That's a good girl. Do it for me, princess. Cum on my cock."

He went back to thrusting deeply and languidly and as you watched his big form move above you, you went over the edge creamed with him inside you. "Oh yes, oh yes, Koutarou, I love it."

"You love it?" He asked as he pumped through your climax.

"Yes, baby, I do. Give it to me, more, please, Koutarou."

He groaned, "I love it when you say my name. Can I cum inside, princess?"

"You ca- do whatever you want, Ko- koutarou." You belted out as more orgasms overtook you.

"Say it again."

"KOUTAROU, MY GOD!!!"

That was what it took for him to cum inside you. He stayed in there for a while, sweat dripping from his chin onto your face. Your bodies were sticky and sweaty from his sex and it both of you were worn out.

"Koutarou..." you started but were interrupted by him pulling out and roughly turning you onto your stomach.

He pulled your hips up so you were face down, ass up and licked his lips when he saw your combined cum squeezing out of your cunt. "Round Two, pretty lady."

I guess, you were the only one worn out?

#bokuto #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #haikyuusmut #haikyuu #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #fukurodani #high school #mutial pining #kuroo #kenma

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muffindaddystyles · 4 years ago

Text

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐒.

Tw// eating disorder.

I was thinking of how I skip meals and stuff while studying, but still people could comment on how a certain way my body has gotten. So,,,yeah. Just wanted to write a blurb on that.

Eating meals thrice a day's fun thing, kiddos.

Harry's busy with album, well you with uni to the point you've no spare time to take care of yourself. You just wakes up giving a haste kiss to him, rush to university because you were studying all last night in the guest room not to disturb him knowing how half of limps he comes back from the studio. When you're back at home he's at the studio again and you straight away flops into your sheets without eating anything, then you again get up from your nap have a bit of snack and the routine goes on for irritatingly exhausting loop.

Else when Harry's not too busy in work he checks upon you while your nose's in books, he brings you snacks. green apples. your favourite chocolates. cack-buns. whatever he could steal from refrigerator. He clings to you until you don't end up taking a break pouting adorably, "what'd ye' do without me hu? starve yourself." So you always end up giving in.

When he becomes your tutor for the mean time and it all has one ending; that's him quenching out many orgasms from you while you thrash in his lap, him fuckin' you raw because he has missed your warmth too passion, him teasing you not letting you focus on what you're studying. That's the worst one from all of the above because when he does that he doesn't stop and it drives you insane.

When sometimes you're too stubborn he grabs you by ankles making you squeal in amusement and throws you on his shoulder to drag you to the nearest diner and swear you look like panda wearing his tattered t-shirt and pyjamas.

He doesn't let you sit in another room and study alone, whining that he couldn't sleep without you in his arms and he used to sleep on you listening to the buzz of whatever you were reading, cheek smashed against your tummy arms coiled around your waist.

That indeed caused you weakened eyesight from focusing under the night lamp. But, you loved it how he always tried to make you stick to him now he couldn't you miss him and his care.

Dinners long forgotten. In breakfast you eat cereal in the same bowl Harry did moments ago before leaving you have time for nothing, and in lunch you fill your system with cold coffees.

Now. You were free after your exams hanging out with your classfellows for few hours before going home and seep into your sheets for two damn days.

"Looks like you gained weight, during this semester." One of your classmates told you with a weird pull of her brows and you chuckled nervously not knowing what to say, the plastic cup of cold mocha in your hand getting sweaty.

"Pfft. She looks fine. This one was hectic for all of us. Y/n you look great." There's a huge lie under it because you look sodden and emotionally traumatised, you know it people don't need to butter things up for you.

You excused yourself from the hangout. You looked at delcious mocha with watering mouth and yearning gaze but you gave it to the homeless little girl in your way considered how many carbs it contains.

You rambled to yourself. Muttering under your breath what you'd have said to her. 'Maybe beacuse I'm happy and when you're happy your heart makes more blood. Maybe I'm hanging out with my friends more often eating to my fullest and maybe I enjoy having late night snacks with my boyfriend.'

But you were doing none of that so you couldn't have said that to her.

When you stepped inside your home it was smelling appetizing, again watering your mouth and making your stomach growl loudly.

When you padded inside Harry was making pasta for you in the kitchen singing a melody to himself most probably of his album. He's glowing from hanging out with his friends, writing songs, and singing them whole day at studio but you're not you feel miserable.

At some point you had thought of dropping out and end this shit for real but looking forward to Harry. How he faces every hardship and never gives up, you did not too. You're always gonna idolise him.

Harry notices your presence and he wide spreads his arms for you to just cuddle into him. Wooden spatula in his hand and he grins brightly at you, "c'mere puppy. made pasta fo' m'girl." You didn't felt like eating it. Not because you're not hungry. You're fucking starving but your stomach has gotten accustomed to be empty all the time that it's feeling like a mission to fill it.

"M'not hungry. Had lunch already." You muttered lying to him walking past him to your shared room and his brows rocketed to his forehead surprised that you didn't fled in his arms as you usually do, not even a peck on his cheek, not an appreciation that you'd eat it after your nap.

You're a bit cranky, stressed and all over the place. You don't want to take it all out in him because you know you'd say mean things just as "I missed you so much, but all you cared was to enjoy yourself with your friends and make songs with them." . "Duh. Only if I could be a singer who doesn't needs to do anything." Or "you didn't once checked upon me." Because you know that would be your nonsensical words but it would really hurt him.

Not changing into comfortable clothes you dived into your sheets sleeping on your stomach. Harry felt alone and sad even though you guys aren't being that close for months despite of some quick sex in shower and when you or him badly needs a release.

He didn't even touched his home made pasta putting it in container and storing it into fridge. His ears perked up at your moans, only realizing that those were moans of pain. You were groaning in your sleep from the headache and cold sweat breaking all over you, you're feeling nauseous even in your sleep too.

Harry was by your side resting his hand atop your shoulder and he found you bathed into sweat, pulling his bottom lip he frowned running his thumb in circles at the nape of your neck.

It's so unlike of you. To not change and brush your hair before going to bed. He turned you around, "shh. sh. baby 's me Harry." He whispered when you whimpered snuggling your face to his folded thigh and tucking your hands in between your own thighs like a sandwich.

He stroked your blazed flushed cheeks with the back of his index finger. Taking in the slightest of features that looks worn out, he really missed you and he kinda feels bad that he got so engulfed into everything that he forgot to check if you're okay.

He pecked your lips removing duvet from over you changing your clothes only leaving you in your panties and your favourite rolling stone shirt of his's. He massaged your soles and ankles a timid smile creeping at his lips at the memory how he used to give you head and back massages. He missed being by your side too.

It was past midnight and you were still into deep sleep. Concerned Harry gently tapped your shoulders kissing your forehead, "bubba. wake up darlin' you haven't eaten anything." Only if Harry knew how it has become a routine.

You woke up with little yawns and cute rubs of eyes making your Harry giggle and shower you in his loud wet kisses. The storm had yet to come. When your eyes fell over your clothes anxiety ignited in all of your body and you pushed him not even glimpesing at the awfully hurt eyes he got after that.

You quickly covered yourself with duvet with wide eyes stuttering, "why did you changed my clothes." You don't want him to look at you when you're so out of shape and not feeling physically appreciative in yourself even though you're exactly how you were before.

This's what happens when someone puts the seed of insecurities inside you.

Harry did what he has been doing the whole day, frowned in confusion he doesn't want to think you're done with him and doesn't loves him anymore but it's flickering through his mind.

"M'sorry, jus' thought that I always used to change you. You wouldn't mind." At this you strewned your lip inside not to cry at your situation how do you tell him what you're feeling?

He fumbled with his rings. Shaking your head you stood up but a train of dizziness making you knock your knees with the beds foot and Harry was on his feet wrapping you in his arms.

"You need to eat. m'not takin' any excuses. When was the last time you ate?" He was furious at you. He doesn't care if you push him this time too. He loves you too much to let you ruin your health like this. When even you forgot that what was the last time you ate a proper meal He shook his head in exasperation.

The door to ensuite bathroom was open wide as he sat a tray of pasta and two plates infront of you, his head craned in your direction as you examined yourself in the bright lit mirror.

Pinching your slightest pouch then turning a little to have a proper look of yourself. Harry didn't said anything he just observed you joining the dots clearing his throat, "come to me, pet." He made space for you and you tried to give him a smile that came out wavering.

Eating in silence. After, so much time it feels like eating a proper meal's a blessing but you couldn't eat much giving it to Harry and he took it from you kissing your head.

"Sorry." You mumbled and he stood taking the trays with himself raising his finger in air gesturing you to wait.

He waddled back not thinking twice and taking you in his arms, burying his nose into your hair as you did into his sweater cuddling closer to him.

"I know you're not feelin' good. Bad days happens with all of us." His lips lingered over your hair and he's missing the usual smell of your shampoo. He smoothed down your arms and it's the proper cuddle you're sharing after so long.

"Whateva' goin' with you tell me whenev' you're ready." His finger tucks under your chin thumb circling over your softest skin.

You just wanted to let it all out but decided against it thinking you're gonna get back to normal and everything would be okay.

Sensing your hesitation just from the beats of your heart he reminded you looking you straight in your eyes, "remember. I'm gonna love you forever and always. Whateva' it takes for m'body to."

You nodded giving a chaste kiss to his lips and both of your eyes fluttered at that warmth, his fingers dipping into your hips.

Next day you were way better. Hanging out with Harry's bestest friend at café near your home, Harry has his arm slinged around your shoulder keeping you close to him as he talked joyously.

"What would you like to eat bunny? Brownie?" He asked you knowing how much you love brownies. If anyone wants to have their way to your heart it's always brownies and chocolates.

When you first started dating Harry, he knew how much you loved chocolates so he would bring a box of different chocolates with one tulip everytime he used to visit you. He used to fed those delights to you (with a kiss in return of each) so much that you had a sugar crash once which isn't your proudest moment.

You shook your head at which his friend quips, "ooooh dieting miss?" Then that same damn insecurity came back rushing to you and when you looked down then to her asking her innocently Harry's heart broke into millions pieces, realization dawning on him with a jab.

"Do you think I need to diet?" She shakes her head vigorously trying to make you understand that her intention wasn't to make you feel bad, "hey no. you're perfectly healthy I was just teasing you." You nod at her with a little "oh." and after that Harry felt you zoning out away from him emotionally.

At home on your bed while Harry rummaged through drawers for your favourite sushi socks you pondered over everything quietly, it's frustrating him. Your silence's killing him. He wants his bubbly bunny back who used to hop in excitement, who used to crack boomer jokes with him, who used to eat brownies and chocolates like it's her last sweetness.

"Bunny..." He gave a squeeze to your ankle after slipping your feet into warm socks, "talk t' me yeah? 'S killin' me." You sapped your teeth into your lower lip.

"It's been hard Harry. Very very hard." He cradles your jaw and you continued, "my head used to ache so bad while studying, eyes used to sting and I stopped eating anything...." Tears bearing at your eyeline and Harry scoots closer to you. He feels awful.

".....n' and you weren't there. I missed you so much you know...wanted to sleep in your arms after a long day...." You were full on sobbing now and Harry's own lip wobbled he can't see you crying especially when he's the reason.

"M' s' sorry baby. Such a dickhead I'm." He wipes your tears with his hands lost inside you hair and thumbs stroking the apples of your cheeks.

"Then again people had to throw it on my face that I've gained extra fats—" Harry grunted at this nose flaring, "who the fuck told ya—oh my god." His eyes enlarging and he felt so fucking remorseful that this's what you were insecure of from days.

"Listen to me y/n. You're exactly like how you were baby. Except more beautiful. Don't let any man, any woman to tell you that you're not. Don't let 'em hurt ye' bunny." He pulled you in his lap kissing your cheeks as you cried into his shoulder and he let you because you need it.

"Never hide your body from me bubba. You know that I worship it with my whole heart." He murmured and now you're full on crying with breath hitching, hiccuping like an innocent baby.

"M' an' awful person." He protested knuckles feathering your jaw, "no you're not."

"Yes I'm. You love me so much and–and I wanted to say mean hurtful things to you." You huffed at him when he smiled musingly, "because I was the one never giving my all lovin" to you how you deserve in the very first place. No' made sure you were eatin' properly or not, you know how worried I got findin' you practically drenched with sweat in bed that day? It was because of your low blood pressure."

He squeezes you in his arms, sponging light kisses at the side of your neck while you closed your eyes and he slipped his hand under your shirt tickling you hooking his thumb in your belly button.

"I'll love your soul in every body." His affectionate words soon turned into cheeky ones, "anddd yeh' know how much I like pregnant women."

You giggled at him smacking his shoulder but he captured it interlacing your fingers kissing the gap of your each knuckle.

That night. You guys made dinner together eating it with a big smile and gratefully for Harry you licked your plate clean.

"Sweets?" You asked him with a lowered gaze and a tilt of your head. He tapped his lips teasingly straddling you over his thigh and a moan fused into warm air when your lips slotted into perfect missing puzzles.

He admired. Sipped. Adored every inch of you tasting your mouth while his fingers kissed the dip of your waist and thighs.

"Hmm. Close your eyes open your mouth." He pecked your lips placing his thumb over your tongue and you obeyed closing your eyes shut.

Soon his thumb was replaced with dark sweetness and you instantly got on what he has done, immediately opening your eyes chewing the chocolate. Tangerine bursting on your tongue as the chocolate cracked open.

"Such a cute little mouth chews just like a bunny." He moans against your lips swiping at the hint of chocolate on your lower lip and you mumbled an appreciative 'thank you.' to him which was soon captured by his own mouth in the form of passionate kiss.

P.s: I freakin' love chocolates and this whole situation I wrote it on me because I know I've alot of people struggling through the same difficulty the thing's we've to be our own Harry.

#harry styles #cute harry #harry styles blurb #harry smut #fluff #dom harry #harry styles smut #harry angst #hsh #harrystyles smut #harry #angst with a happy ending #harry x reader #eating disoder things

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blessedarethebinarybreakers · 4 years ago

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Looking over your blog, I'm not sure weather to laugh or cry at what you believe. You're making God an image of yourself, trying to fit in your beliefs onto him. Giving out a false doctrine, God's word does not change to suit the status of this world, your twisting the word of God to make yourself feel comfortable. You better change the way you view God and Bible, because when you stand in front of God in the end the words that he will say to you are "Depart from me I never knew you"

cw pointless rant, queerphobic anon

so. my policy is not to engage with anon hate because if you’re not willing to enter into true dialogue i’m not gonna spend my limited time and energy on you -- and more importantly, i don’t want to expose my followers to hateful stuff.

but congratulations to anon no. 3 from the other day, you successfully boiled my blood! you’re getting a rise outta me! good work.

_________

“You better change the way you view God and Bible, because when you stand in front of God in the end the words that he will say to you are "Depart from me I never knew you"”

So you’re referencing Matthew 25:31-46, i.e. one of the most powerful exhortations to tangible, active service in the Bible. This is a passage that emphasizes orthopraxy ( “right action” ) over orthodoxy ( “right belief” ) -- and yet here you are accusing me of molding scripture to suit my needs while you make use of this action-focused passage to damn me for my beliefs.

The ones whom "the Son of Humanity” rejects in this story are those who might have their beliefs right (they know to call Jesus “Lord”), but who still failed to attend to the needs of their fellow human beings -- particularly those with whom Jesus most identifies: the hungry, thirsty, naked, imprisoned, stranger, etc.

Look. i’m a human being with a finite understanding and plenty of flaws. i know i don’t have everything right when it comes to what i think about the Bible and/or God. And therefore i thank God that getting in to God’s Kin(g)dom doesn’t come with a written exam where i have to get all the answers right. God knows no human being would pass such an exam! What Jesus is more concerned about is how we relate to one another. My gravest failings don’t involve mistaken interpretations, but rather the many times i’ve failed to reach out to an outcast, to insist that people’s basic needs are met, to stand up for those in prisons, and so on.

Honestly, now that i’ve written all this out, anon, i’m not really angry anymore. i’m just...sad. Because if living into the Kin(g)dom of God is about worshipping God through right relationship not only with Them but also with fellow human beings, well...i might be failing that here with you. i’m ready to curse you and spurn you and refuse connection with you. ...maybe that’s fine -- maybe i can “shake the dust from my feet” because trying to connect with you on a mutual level is so unlikely...or maybe i’m supposed to try to connect if i can. i don’t know. i don’t know. i’m sad and tired just thinking about it.

Anyway. Here’s hoping you and i can both learn to live into Jesus’s challenging call, so that he will recognize us by our fruits and tell us both “well done.” Maybe you and i will connect then, be empowered to build a true relationship then.

________

oh huh, since i’m publishing this where people will see your comments, i should probably respond to the first half of your message too...

....But i get that you and i are speaking two very different languages when it comes to discussing the Bible, so i’m unlikely to say anything that makes sense to you. In case you just don’t know about the different ways different Christians engage with scripture, i’ve got a webpage on the framework i and many of my denominations employ. If you’re interested.

For now, the following is more for anyone else who wants to see my answer to your accusations about making God in my image and all that.

look. i do my best not to let my own thoughts and biases corrupt the blessed glimpses God offers me of Themself..... After all, as Shirley Guthrie writes,

“There is always the danger that we will find in the Bible only what we take with us to it – that we will use it to confirm what we already think and will only hear what we want to hear. …Comfortable, powerful people usually find that the Bible supports social and political conservatism; poor, exploited people usually find that it supports social and political reform or revolution. What is to keep us from simply using the Bible to give authority to our own religious, social, political, and economic prejudices? What is to prevent us from using the study of this ancient book as a pious excuse for refusing to face the radical claims of the living God on every area of our lives, here and now?"

i do everything i can to remain aware of my own biases and assumptions, and sort of balance my own perspective by reading up on as many others as i can -- Fundamentalist, sure, as well as Womanist, Disabled, Indigenous, Dalit, liberationist, atheist, Jewish, on and on. The more perspectives we bring to the table, the more obvious it is how we all are influenced by our own contextual location when we try to interpret scripture or get to know God. But in listening to and learning from one another, we can get more and more glimpses.

I’ll close with some links to other posts that might help anyone troubled by content in anon’s ask:

“How do we take context into account when reading the Bible without using it to justify what we already think?”

“God is dead. Which God?”

A short sermon I once preached about Romans 12′s “Don’t be conformed to the world” and how it’s used against queer folks and others when it’s those whose theologies uphold the status quo that are “conforming to the world”

“How do you deal with the Bible passages that “condemn” being gay? / If God is okay with LGBT people why does the Bible speak against it?”

“I’m scared of going to hell for being lgbt / i’m struggling to accept myself”

#not sure how to tag this #matthew 25 #anon hate #discourse ///#queerphobia #Anonymous #sorry y'all i just got so cranky. like. the fearmongering!!!! in threatening me with hell #if i don't change my wicked beliefs in time #and putting that threat in Jesus' mouth when his 'depart from me' was not #about. right belief. ach i get so angry at fearmongerers #but now i'm mostly just tired

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prismadog · 3 years ago

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(=^‥^=)

I loved everything you had to say about the Family AU and would definitely enjoy sitting through and reading any and all rambles of anything about the AU. Also, I must agree, I actually choke when I eat food skins but even if I didn't have a condition that made it hard to eat food skins, I really don't like the texture and I agree with not liking food skins. I read somewhere that Gnomes can't eat most meats so like I'm sure Shrub could still eat bugs and Zombie flesh, but would she get sick from eating regular meat? Also, how would she approach the topic of Scott, because he's kind of trying to get rid of Xornoth but also is Xornoths brother so does he get to know who she is before everyone else or does she try to ignore him? If you have any headcanons or story ideas you wouldn't mind sharing that won't spoil future plans I can definitely grab myself a snack, some tea, and my soft weighted blanket and binge read anything you have to say all night and ignore my two exams tomorrow. (I'm sick I can ignore school)

Thank you so much for creating so much in this AU and feeding my desperate hyperfixafion mind with your reply to my ask. Have a great day/night/morning!

aw, I'm sorry to hear that you're sick, anon, I hope you get better soon. make sure you drink plenty of fluids, eat some good meals, and get lots of sleep! [sorry if I sound like a mom]

and dude! you're gonna make me cry from all your kind words, thank you, and I'm so glad you're loving the AU! honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough with the AU but I'm working on it - I've already started writing a prologue of sorts for it! [haven't posted yet but one day soon, hopefully]

food skins are kinda bad, and for me, it's definitely a texture thing. I didn't know there was a condition that made it difficult to eat food skins, that must suck.

now, I've got quite the ramble in store for you, anon so I hope you're ready. I think I might've gone a bit off topic when it came to Scott's section but I hope it answers any questions.

Food

I hadn't put too much thought into what gnomes eat before until you mentioned that. I did some, not a lot but a few links, research on the subject and it looks like with most people/dnd groups/etc, their gnomes are omnivores that have a similar diet to that of dwarves - so meats mostly with cheese and bread and ale, and maybe vegetables.

so, going off that, I've been considering what the traditional gnome in this world would eat. the gnomes are a part of the Nether and usually live in the forests - both warped and crimson. Shrub herself was found in a crimson forest by Xornoth. the crimson gnomes would most likely have a diet heavy on hoglin meat and mushrooms/vines/sprouts. the warped, on the other hand, wouldn't have as easy access to meat so I imagine their diet would be more vegetarian. now, both types are also kinda like irl fungus themselves in the way that they can get nutrients from dead tissue/creatures, though, they do prefer actual food and will only result to things like rotten flesh if they absolutely need to.

now, for Shrub specifically, since she is inherently a crimson forest gnome, has a diet of meat and mushrooms. but, she was also on her own for some time before Xornoth found her and had to resort to eating other things like zombie flesh and netherbugs [think silverfish or endermites but nether and more beetle-like]. then, Xornoth finds her and starts feeding her golden apples - I don't know how they have access to gapples but they do.

now, she can handle Nether-based foods easy but I imagine, once she's in the Overworld, things might get a bit trickier. there's pigs, which are kind of like hoglins, so I don't think she'd have trouble eating that. but then there's foods like melons and pumpkins and pie and cake and chicken and fish and a bunch of other stuff that's she's never had before.

it would be not only a culture shock, but also a shock to her insides as well, she'd probably end up feeling a bit nauseous every time she tried something new since she's never had it before. Overworld food would take some getting used to, maybe a few weeks, maybe longer, but once she does, there's no stopping her - Shrub has basically a bottomless pit for a stomach.

I can tell you though that Xornoth is very happy that their beloved child is getting the proper nutrients she needs to be healthy and strong. raising her, they were concerned she wasn't eating well enough, but that's hardly their fault, the Nether just doesn't have as many food options.

how does Shrub approach the topic of Scott?

now, this topic I have thought quite a bit about - mostly because Scott is one of my favorite content creators, but also because he's a big part of this AU as well. which makes sense since he is Xornoth's brother.

I did talk a bit about Shrub and Scott's first meeting in this post, and a bit about their relationship during the cure-quest in this post, but I never really did much more beyond the basics.

I wanna start off here with this: Shrub, at first, does not know who Scott is other than a reclusive ruler who lives in the elven empire of Rivendell, the same place her father told her about. but that does change over time, specifically after the first few meetings between her, Scott, Katherine, and Gem where they try to work out a cure for the demon.

it's after one of these meetings, when she's talking to Xornoth, that they ask her about Scott. she doesn't know much about him but finds that Xornoth thinks he's Alinar - either reincarnated or just without his memories. - for this here, I'm leaning towards reincarnated due to his past lives on X-Life and 3rd Life servers (and others but I've only seen those two)

the fact that her dad thinks Scott might be his brother changes how she sees him. before, she was okay with the distance - Scott is the definition of recluse, or might I say, he's a hermit? 😏 [sorry, terrible joke] - but now, she wants to get to know him, to find out if he really is Alinar, for her father's sake.

this does clash a bit with what the other rulers want - to defeat the demon for most, to cure the demon for some, and for two others they want the demon to take over. but Shrub, while she knows that there are those who are against Xornoth, she wants to look on the bright side and hope that they can find a cure, even if Scott is Aeor's Champion.

Scott Smajor, our beloved Elfking of Rivendell

now for Scott's side of things, his point of view is a little different. I touched on some of this in the posts linked above but I never really went beyond the basics.

as in the one link, Scott finds Shrub cute - she's small and wears an adorable outfit and she's got a nice voice, she's "kewt!". during their first meeting, brought on because Katherine set it up, he learns that this little gnome knows things about Rivendell and about elves - she doesn't say much but it's enough to make him question how she knows about Aeor and some elven customs.

all she tells him is that her dad told her stories growing up, nothing more, nothing less. this piques Scott's interest but he's not going to question it further because that would be rude. he's asked about an elf named Alinar but he has no idea who that is - he'll be more than happy to find out though! so that's what he does after their first meeting, he starts investigating the elf.

there's little information due to countless millennia and poor record keeping, but Scott does find out a few things: Alinar was a winged elf who was blessed by Aeor and granted golden antlers, he fought a demon and won, and he became king because of the two previous facts. what little information he does find, he sends word to Shrub with apologies that there isn't more.

during his investigation, Scott finds that his portal has started leaking into his empire - it's only a little bit so he's not going to worry about it. there's also talk of the other empires being terrorized by a demon but there hasn't been any problems like that in Rivendell so he doesn't worry about that either. he does find it curious though that all of this started after he met Shrub, but it's just coincidence - at least, that's what he tells himself.

the monthly Gatherings show him that some of the rulers aren't doing as well as they normally are, except for King Joey who's gushing about a budding romance and King Sausage who has more magic than he's ever had before. Shrub has been apart of the Gatherings for a few months and has been pretty vocal during them, but with new talks of a demon and ideas of how to get rid of it, Scott notices a change in her: she becomes less talkative and tries to subtly dissuade others from taking action.

Scott finds this curious and tries to talk to Shrub about the demon when they're alone - he quickly finds that she shies away from all talk about the demon and she seems guilty whenever its brought up. after some thinking and detective work, he believes it's because she and the demon came into the world about the same time - maybe she accidentally brought it with her?

but then talks of finding a cure for the corruption come up, as well as, finding a way to defeat the demon for good. with these new topics, he finds Shrub acting even odder - she pushes the idea that instead of killing the demon, they can cure it instead. many of the other rulers are unsure about that but some, like Katherine and Gem, want to find more peaceful solutions so they help Shrub.

Scott joins in as well because hey, this cute little gnome is hiding something but he doesn't know what and he's not going to straight-up ask her about it. shortly after the group starts looking into a cure, Scott gets a visit from the demon - but it's like in canon where Xornoth keeps their distance and only watches. he brings this up to Shrub the next time she visits and she sort of skirts around the topic before changing the subject to something else.

there's many meetings between him, Shrub, Katherine, and Gem where they try to make a cure for not only the corruption plaguing the land but for the demon as well. their attempts always seem to fail on the demon front, and Scott notices that the failure weighs much more heavily on Shrub's shoulders than anyone else's.

at some point after the first few cure-demon meetings, their relationship starts to change from casual friends to close friends - he's not sure what caused Shrub to visit more often or ask more about his life/Rivendell but he's glad for the company. he gets to know more about Shrub too, her life growing up in another realm and about her father - she freely talks about her dad but never says who they are nor does she invite Scott to meet him.

sometime during all of this, Scott comes to the conclusion that Shrub's dad and the demon are one in the same, or at least something close to. of course, he's not going to say anything until either she does or something comes up that requires absolute truth from everyone.

so, he suspects that Xornoth is Shrub's dad, and Shrub is a good friend, what can he do to help her? the cures are failing.

Scott gets the idea to ask Aeor for guidance - it's worked in the past when trouble came to Rivendell, it'll work again. he goes to Aeor's church and he asks for help in curing the demon. Aeor responds in a different way - his god gives him a weapon of unimaginable power that could slay the demon for good, and Aeor blesses him like he once blessed another elf millennia ago.

Scott has been chosen as Aeor's Champion and given access to his past lives, and he's not sure how to handle things - he's at an internal impasse because on one hand, his god has blessed him and on the other, his god wants him to kill his friend's father - the demon who is also his brother???

he stresses out about this new development and Shrub tries to talk to him, as do his other friends, all while Aeor wants him to prepare for war and while his friends continue to fail in making a cure.

it all comes to a head when Katherine and Gem are losing hope and are wanting to quit. Shrub tries to get them to keep going but there's just only so many things they can try and it's looking like a lost cause anyway. they give up and Shrub breaks, she tells the three of them why this means so much to her and why they have to keep trying - the alternative is war and bloodshed because giving up means that they're going to take on her father and kill them, or worse, her dad will kill them.

Katherine and Gem are rightfully shocked and unsure of how to take the information. Scott though, he's had his suspicions and he is the demon's brother, so he steps forward and comforts Shrub and promises her that he won't let that happen. Katherine and Gem question him and find out his own little family secret. they try to make a few more cures for everyone's sake.

of course, things don't go as they want them to - the new cures fail as well and Xornoth takes it upon themself to make the call to war, something that both Scott and Shrub are reluctant for. but Scott stays by her side through it all and she by his.

by the time everyone's standing on the battlefield, Scott knows exactly who he is, was in a past life, and he doesn't want history to repeat itself nor does he want there to be anymore unnecessary bloodshed.

this is where the ending of the curing-the-demon post comes in - I'll link it again for reference. hopefully you've read it because I don't think I could write all that here again...there's just so much.

I think that's about all I got in me at the moment - this post has become extremely long, but if you have more questions, feel free to ask!

#ask response #empires smp #found family au #xornoth adopts child!shubble au #shubble #xornoth #scott smajor

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shittylongcatposts · 4 years ago

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Hey hey! How are ya?

For the soulmate alphabet thingie could I request S- Songs with Saeyoung?

I can just imagine MC one day listening to All Star, Never gonna give you up, the one where aquaman goes WHATS GOING on and then being so annoyed, and then the next day is some emo/depressive stuff like MCR or something like that pftt I'm sure MC would be SO confused but I absolutely find it hilarious

You can take all the time you want, and remember to drink lots of water :D

ohhhh!!! this one is hilarious! Thank you Mandy!!^^ I’m still so glad and excited that you requested something- ahhh >.< now, i hope you enjoy it a lot!

stay hydrated

Soulmate au: S - songs. Any song your soulmate sings will be stuck in your head

Saeyoung x MC (reader)

The first time that your soulmate sent you a catchy song was in your chemistry class, right as you were trying to focus on your task, trying not to spritz the liquid inside your test tube all over the counter, the bongo song started playing in your head. And it was stuck on replay.

You knew it must have been your soulmate, since all the other songs that were stuck in your head were more… silent and didn’t feel like a live concert where you stood in the first row.

Of course the liquid bubbled out of the tube and the experiment failed, but despite that you knew that they existed. That you had a soulmate.

When you came home that day you talked about it with your parents, asking them what they felt when they first “heard” of each other. Your dad just panicked, as you found out, he was so nervous about this feeling, that he did not go out for weeks, hiding himself in his own little word. Scared how things might turn out, after “hearing” of your mom.

Your mom however tried to communicate with your dad, “sending” him songs that she loved, coming up with questions that she wished for him to answer with another song, and after a while he did and actually she got to meet him just a few months later. From that day on they were always together. Never seperated.

Now they were both enjoying their cup of tea and after you told them about what happened your mom got up, ruffled through your hair and smiled. It was a bright, kind smile. The one she always had playing around her lips when she was proud of something you did.

“Right now, just go with the flow my dear, see what happens.”

“I’m so glad that there’s someone out there for you my sweetie” your dad said and hugged you.

(And with that you began to listen to music more and more, exploring all kinds of songs, directions, until you got stuck in an emo phase lol)

You also got a lot of input from your soulmate who seemed to be around your age but also seemed to be pretty moody. You were wondering from time to time what got into them, if they were stuck somewhere they didn’t want to be. Sometimes you didn’t receive an earwig for days but then again they suddenly came up with the cheesiest meme song, those were the ones you hated the most, because they always popped up when you were in a very important situation. Like the time when you were about to start filling in the answers on the paper sheet right in front of you, amidst your exams, but you just couldn’t focus because your mind played YMCA on repeat. Leaving your brain blanked out with an image of a dancing mothman. (you hated it but it was more like a love hate thing)

But then on some days there were only sad songs, depressing ones and the ones that brought you shivers, leaving you crying with tears that burnt into your heart. They got so sad sometimes, that you were actually worried about them. In these times you always tried sending them a cheery sound, a song that always made you smile when you listened to it or one that felt like a warm hug for you, hoping that they would do the same, feel the same vibes of it as you do.

When the finals were finally over and you officially graduated (your grades weren’t that bad- thank god) your parents gifted you a trip to south korea, all on your own.

Walking down one of the busy streets in Seoul excited you and your senses were flooded with the smell and the sounds of the city. You looked up, searching for the blue sky that peeked out between the gray clouds, that hung over the city, from time to time. You breathed in and let your mind wander to your friends for a while.

It hurt you to see that they all found their soulmate in one way or the other but you still didn’t know a thing about your own. You were glad that they did but from time to time seeing them being all cute and lovey dovey with each other stung in your heart.

The only thing you knew was that they were under the same sky as you, which gave you at least a little bit of hope in finding them some day.

Suddenly a flush rushed through your body, notes began to form in your mind and before you knew there was another song suppressing every other thing that occupied your mind.

It started silent but got louder and louder, you knew it was them and you silently cursed your soulmate for the new song that stuck in your mind. Darude sandstorm. You would have never imagined walking down the streets of Seoul with Darude Sandstorm playing on repeat.

Then a red Herari drove by with screeching tires, the windows slightly open, probably to get some fresh air, but what bothered you the most was the sound that came from the car. Darude sandstorm. The red haired guy that sat in the driver’s seat madly dancing along to the song that played on full volume.

The traffic lights jumped to red and he stopped his car abruptly, waiting for the lights to turn green. You couldn’t decide what to do, you knew it was him, that this guy was your soulmate, but how could you stop them?

You tried sending them signs, only coming up with stop and stare, but he didn’t stare, he still watched the traffic lights.

Quick you have to do something, you thought and waved your hand, “hello, it’s me.” your mind sang, but still no response.

The lights went green and the only thing that came to your mind now was to jump. You closed your eyes, hoping that he would stop.

“Hey! Hey! Are you hurt?” An unkown voice asked, slapping your face to wake you up from your sudden slumber. You didn’t really feel any pain so you shook your head.

“Thank god, man, why did you jump right in front of my baby? You could have got yourself killed” the young man sighed, looking at you with concern in his amber eyes.

So those were the eyes of your soulmate, warm and kind, soft but with a touch of sadness lingering in them.

“I, uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this, but I would have lost you if I didn’t.” You sighed, rubbing your forehead to get rid of all the things that rushed through your mind.

“l- Lost me? What are you? A stalker? Now come on, try to get up, then I’ll call an ambulance for you.” The ginger sighed again. He helped you up on your feet in no time, rubbing his neck when you thanked him for it.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t even introduce myself, I’m Luciel, nice to hit, i mean meet you, hehe”

“I’m Mc, thanks again for helping me.” You smiled and shook the hand he offered you.

“Now, let me make a phone call.” He said and turned around to pull his phone out of his pocket. He spoke pretty fast and you couldn’t understand a word. You suddenly felt lost, all alone in a huge city. What were you even doing there? What if he wasn’t your soulmate and just happened to listen to the song? You breathed fastened and your heart started racing. Your thoughts were running wild.

Then new song came to your mind and you started humming the lyrics, softly, barely making any noise.

it’s something unpredictable but in the end it’s right, I hope you had the time of your life... (<-- Tha’ts good riddance by Green Day an amazing song!!)

Luciel hung up on the phone, his eyes lingering on your face with shock in his eyes.

“Say that again, will you?” He closed the distance to hear you better, and started singing the same lyrics you sang.

Your heartbeat fastened another time, but this time you were excited. You stared into his amber eyes. Vision blurry from the tears that streamed down your face, you saw that he felt the same. It was him. He was your soulmate, you finally found each other. You pulled him closer, sobbing into his green shirt, laughing at the same time.

“So it was you who cheered for me all the time, huh? Thank you, Mc.” he sobbed, kissing your forehead over and over again. Whispering “thank you”s over and over again.

“So it was you who sent me to the YMCA during my exams.” You chuckled, forming the letters with your hand as you spelled them. A heartwarming laugh bubbled out of his throat and he hooked an arm around you, after rubbing his eyes once more.

“My god I’m so sorry.”, he laughed, while guiding you towards his car, smiling proudly. “Now let’s wait for the ambulance, and then I’ll take you home.”

#mysme #mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #luciel choi #shitty longcat #inthisblogwestanthechoitwins #i really hope you like it #hehe

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thebigsimp · 4 years ago

Text

Marco x f!reader - how can I live without you ?

SEASON 1 SPOILER !

summary: It's sad, then it's cute but you quickly become sad again because you remember what was sad at the beginning and the end is sad but it's also beautiful I hope

content: Marco spoiler season 1 f!reader/s.o

word counts: 1.3K

tw: death

notes: I swear to god I want to cry every time I think about this shit, he definitely deserved better... btw I didn't read it through since I've wrote it soooo you can totally say it's trash I won't mind, I guess. It's just that it's been a long time since I've posted and it just feels weird to not post still in finals exams tho but I got time to post this just for you if actually someone read it anyway ! hope you enjoy this sad writing.

I Knew Marco and I were made for each other, and now it’s like all of my life is collapsing before my eyes.

When Jean came up to me I knew, I don’t know how but I instantly knew that something was wrong. that Marco was dead.

I tried to convince myself that he would come back at some point and that it was only one sick joke, but he never did, at least alive.

“Hurry y/n we are not getting late again !” Marco was standing against the frame of my door watching me struggling with his teasing smile, knowing that I wasn't paying attention to his words. I’m screwed, I lost the bracelet that Marco gave me for our one year anniversary and we were about to go to a day of training... “wait wait please , I don’t know where I put it Marco and I-” and his laughing now, god If I could listen to his laugh all day long, life would be perfect.

“You know y/n no one is going to see that you don’t have your bracelet...” said Marco walking towards me with is reassuring smile. “This is the one we gave each other Marco I don’t go out without it !”, I was about to curse when we heard our commandant shout the names of the cadets, shit we are really late aren’t we...

“We are in training for the entire day honey, you will find it when we get back home tonight” “but Marco I-” “I’ll help you to find it but we need to go before commandant Sadies find out that we are late, let’s go” he’s right I don’t want to end up like Sasha.

For whatever reason commandant Sadie didn’t say anything when he saw us running in line but instead continued the call up our name, he might be up to something.

“Listen up cadets, today is a very physical day, the training is going to be difficult and you won’t get back here until 11pm, so I hope you got a great sleep because I will need you at 100. I've prepared some groups exercices for todays training, it’s to build your team work assets because for what I saw previously you guys don’t understand the basics of it. I need teams of five ! hurry up so we can start” I take a look at the cadets, I mean he isn’t wrong but everyone seems to focus on getting into the military police, so of course they aren't going to team up. Now I know why they are training us to have great team work, they want us to join the survey corps. But sometimes I can see Mikasa, Armin and Eren helping each other, I mean it's more Mikasa and Armin helping Eren but sure. Reiner and Bertholdt are always together same goes for Christa and Ymir and Connie and Sasha. Jean, Marco and I are quite close as well. We all are close to each other but not as a team like they want...

“ So babe do you want to be with us ?” says Marco “Huh?” Marco, Jean, Connie and Sasha were looking at me waiting for an answer I presume, “Marco isn’t she your girlfriend or something ?” Connie say “Hey but it doesn’t mean that we have to be with each other all the time you know” says Marco looking at me with a teasing smile, Jean snort a little at Marco’s intervention “you guys are literally together every time !” “I know Jean, so babe ?” “I guess we can team up this time” “good”.

The tree others were physically cringing to the conversations Marco and I were having. “ babe you know what we could do right know ?” “what ? honey?” “well we can go somewhere calm and you know cuddles until it’s our turn to go training...” “you guys are so disgusting I swear” “Jean they are literally talking about cuddling” “Sasha, Jean is right, they are disgusting” “oh my fucking god guys cuddling is just cuddling I’m not gonna fuck my girlfriend here” “Wooaaaw Marco your innocence ?!”. If only Jean knew...

At the end of the day, everyone were tired, people were crawling back to their room, some others were going straight to eat, we clearly needed to rest. Marco took me in his arm and carrying me to my room.

“Marco cuddle, cuddle, cuddle” As he was about to exit the room “I need to get you food honey, I’m coming back as soon as I get you some, alright ?” "alright"

that night we just cuddled while talking about our future, our future together.

" y/n I'm about to say something crazy so don't freak out" I looked at him with an amused face "alright Marco say what's on your mind already" Marco pushed a string of hair away from my face with a fond smile before talking again " Well I know we just join the military and that training isn't over, let alone that we havent started fighting against titans and that all of that will probably take a will before we find a way to stop this madness but I'm already thinking of our future" I got up to face him "our future ?" "yes, you and me, living somewhere calm, not far away from our friends but still pretty far so it looks like we are alone together. We can get married, have children, I want a daughter and a son, and we can maybe start a little school together like our parents..." oh yes before the fall of the walls my parents along side Marco parents were proud teachers they dedicated their lives to make sure that we could have the proper education even with those difficult times "I would love that Marco" Marco face light up at my words "we could discover so many things behind those walls and and-" "we will be able to teach something new everyday" Marco smiled at me " you read my mind, I told you we were made for each other" I rolled my eyes before giving a slight punch to his right shoulder "ouch".

"I love you y/n, we will be together trying to navigate life together" "until the end" "until the end are you kidding me even in the other side we will be together" "Marco I was trying to be dramatic" "I know but I just don't like to know that you are thinking of your death like that, you know especially when I'm right here, to protect you" I giggled at is sudden confidence " I know right how can live without you ?" " I don't know it is a miracle that you manage to live to the day we've met" " Marco oh my god haha"

Who would've known that the end of us would happened so quickly.

I miss having you arm around me, I miss seeing your smile every time I say something, I miss the warmth of your body against mine. I miss your wise words. I miss everything.

Jean isn't the same anymore, he saw you laying there lifeless. If they hadn't choose to put me somewhere else I would've been with you, I would've try to save you. I wasn't there when you needed me, I wasn't there when this titan crushed our hopes and destroyed our future.

I know that you would probably want the best for me, you want me to be happy, you want to enjoy my life while I'm still alive. And to be completely honest with you I don't know how it could be possible, but both of know what happened that night when we talk about our future we also made a promise to each other, and I am going to make sure to make you proud from who you are, and when my time is here you'll be happy to see me again, and we will live our future.

#season 1 spoilers #spolier attack on titans #attack on titan #marco bott #it's sad really so if you are triggered don't read it #death

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liljungie · 5 years ago

Text

MVP | Jeon Jungkook | AU 3

Pairing: [ soccer player] jungkook x reader

Warnings: angst | slight smut

Part 1 / part 2 / part 3

Masterlist

How am I gonna get out of this?!

Panic rush through me as I look anywhere but her,It's not like I can say it was raining because the weather today was extremely sunny not a single cloud in the sky.

So that was out of the question and I started to think of anything that I could pass the blame on other than the weather.

"Well.." i scratch the back of my head suddenly every word I know vanished into thin air, making it impossible to form a sentence she looked at me waiting "Uh..jimin" I clap my hands together as I speak to grab her attention " p-pulled another prank on me" I said the first words that came to mind hoping they came out clearly "oh you poor thing! I'll tell kookie to talk to him you're a lady jimin can't treat you like that!" She huffed in annoyance.

Ugh why is she so nice? I can see why Jungkook fell for her...if only she wasn't so damn nice to me maybe I'd hate her enough to push away the guilt.

"I-It's okay- really.. jimin and I joke like that a lot he's only getting back at me for putting powdered peppers in his boxers.." I tried to laugh at the end but it came out so awkward and well...fake. but she luckily went with it "Oh that's mean" she says with a scowl on her face "not gonna lie I was weirded out seeing you in my boyfriend's Jersey"she laughed nervously, "but I think Jungkook witnessed what happened" she smiled laughing at the end which I assume she was laughing at the situation or me..

I felt a lump in my throat form I went pale at her words, my hands start to sweat so I quickly rub them against my jeans laughing along with her.

"I gotta go shower now bye!" I yell behind me walking fast to my room so I avoid any more questions "yeah you smell like semin...jimin is so mean" I hear her yell after me

I cringe as I hear her words "I'm sorry jimin" I say to one one, under my breath as I close the door behind me letting out a sigh of relief but deep down guilt ate away at me...

///

A week passed, I hadn't seen Jungkook since that day.

he didn't even try to reach me so I didn't bother either, my heart was mayhem but maybe not seeing him was for the better.

Even though it tore me apart inside.

My exams and assignments took most of my time, I barely had time for myself anyway.

I was chilling in my room in the afternoon writing an essay I had to hand in Monday while listening to music.

It was finally the weekend I'm done with my exams but I had a few things to hand out still and I finally got around it.

I faintly hear a knock on my door and pause the song and slide my chair over to the door opening it.

To find her, dressed nicely make up and hair done to perfection, she smiled at me "Jungkook is taking me on a date!" She squealed as my heart dropped.

she pushed the door more open and twirled in the middle of my room, her yellow dress was just above her knees, making her glow like a star "how do I look?!" She smiled as she looked me in the eyes waiting for my answer.

"Stunning" I replied my face drained of color I swolled the lump in my throat heat prickling down my neck as I stare at her, hurt evident on my features, she was checking herself on the tall mirror I had beside my desk.

He was taking her out on a date? A date?!

My mind was still processing what she said, so he does have free time to take her on dates but not text me at all?! Not even once this whole week!

"Really?!" She squealed once again, she was so happy seems like even gravity couldn't hold her down she was skipping with happiness.

The things I'd do to be her...

I only nodded my head, I felt like a shook up can of soda that was going to burst soon, with glossy eyes I tried to keep looking at her but I couldn't. I turned away.

"I have been dying to spend time with him now that my exams are over I'm gonna be by his side every single day" she says her eyes glowing. Probably day dreaming about the 'date'

"Mhm that's nice" I say as I slide my chair back to my desk, I didn't know I was crying, I curse under my breath. I can't let her see me.

"Oh I'm sorry if I disturbed you" she finally noticed that I was studying and turned to me thankfully my hair covered the side of my head so she couldn't see my face "I'll leave you now so you can study okay?" She giggled and walked to the door opening it slowly

"Fighting _____!" She shouted her fist in the air cheering me on as if that would make it easier I only sent her a small smile with a nod then my eyes went back on the screen the letters were so blurry.

"oh and I'm spending the weekend at his place so don't wait for me!" She giggled, I felt my chest tighten as I heard her say that, seconds passed and I heard my bedroom door closed shut. Finally.

I let out a sigh that felt like a sob I tried to distract myself by writing more, I turned up the volume of the music I tied my hair up to cool me down. frustrated I let it fall on my shoulders...nothing worked.

Nothing could shut my thoughts off, all I could think of was her in his arms, in his lap, kissing and touching him.

I could see images of him kissing and holding her like he held me...

"_____ I'm leaving now bye!" I heard her faintly yell from the living room breaking me away from my trance a few moments of silence and right when I heard her shut the apartment door close. I threw my phone at the mirror she was infront of minutes ago it all shattered along with my phone screaming in frustration I fell to the floor sobbing.

he consumed every inch of me he took over every part of me, and it's my falut that I let him get to me this way.

This close.

I felt my body burn and ache until I couldn't feel anything anymore and sleep took over me.

///

I woke up to banging on the door I sat up, confused, I looked around I was on the floor in the middle of my room I looked at the watch on the wall it read 12 am.

I must have slept for a long time.

I heard the banging again but louder this time oh so I wasn't dreaming? I wanted to yell her name so she could open the door instead but I remembered...everything.

I found it hard to stand up, or seems like my heart couldn't bare to do anything I'm so out of it, I feel so numb and so hurt. That even standing was too much for me to take.

I made my way to the door. in the dark living room I turned on the spot lights to provide a bit of light in so I could see better, my eyes were swollen from how much I cried and my vision is still blurry from the tears.I move my hair out of my face as I walk to the door slowly.

I open the door and there he stood.

Jungkook.

He sighs relieved and pulls me towards him.

"Oh my fucking God I was so afraid" he says, holding me tighter.

I was astonished I must be dreaming this, this can't be... she was over at his place how did he get out?

He pulled away and looked at me almost analyzing my face "I was so worried!" He tells me "I called you so many times why didn't you pick up?!" He scolds his grip on my arms was tight

He did?

How come it's ringing didn't wake me up?

Then I remember how I threw it at the mirror and I don't know if it was still working for not, I need a new phone for sure it seems.

I pull away and he looked at me hurt that I pushed him lightly off of me "you didn't text or call this whole week why does it suddenly matter?" I ask raising my eyebrows, arms crossed as I look up at him waiting for the answer that I longed for this whole week.

"_____" he sighed as he rubbed his temple "I'm sorry I couldn't I was dealing with a lot" he stated, clearly he didn't want to talk about it so I dropped the topic because I just don't think it matters anymore. It won't go anywhere because if there's one thing I'm sure of is jungkook keeps to himself and there's no way you'll ever get something out of him.

"Why you were waiting for me to call you?" A playful grin on his features, I stop in my tracks and turn around looking at him in disbelief, is this what he thought of me? who am I kidding this is all I'm ever gonna be for him. Just for pleasure. He can disappear for as long as he wants and expects me to wait for him.

"Not at all..I could care less about you" I say avoiding his eyes walking slowly back to my room until suddenly I'm turned face to face with him "stop avoiding me!" He harshly tells me, his eyes stare into mine and I feel my body give up on me and surrender to his touch.

His gaze was strong and the more he stared at me, his eyes softened"... you were crying weren't you baby?" He asks, His voice was so soft and quiet I felt my heart ignite with life agai, the way he was holding my face between his hands now tracing my cheeks with his thumbs soothingly.

"N-No I wasn't-" I groggily reply only for him to sigh "you don't have to lie to m-"

"Why are you here?" I ask cutting him off, pushing him away harder this time. I saw the way his face fell "you don't want me here?" He asks "you left her to see me?" He swoalled and bite his lip "yes" he answers in heart beat "..I told her I forgot my text book at taehyung's...and I just...I just wanted to see you" I look at his eyes sparkle for some reason he had this look on his face that just screamed at me to take him in my arms.

I used all my power to resist that urge and I stepped back, I feel tears start in my eyes again "Jungkook..." I whimpered

My heart aches because I know what I was going to say but my heart wasn't in it "we have to stop this" I cried

His eyes went wide and his mouth opened with shock and disbelief "_____ you can't do this...not now-please just listen to me-" he walks forward,his arms reach for mine I walk away from him pushing him away from me "we can't anymore...my heart can't take it!" I shouted tears fall endlessly, his gaze was too strong for me so I look away

"What are you saying _____?!" He shouted angrily "why push me away now? Huh?" He cried "tell me why are you doing this to us!" My back hits the wall behind me his hands come up on each side Trapping me.

I feel the emotions bottle up and boil inside me until they spill and I'm left feeling numb I met his eyes and the words I said next shocked him and myself..

"I love you!" I cried "Jungkook I love you!" I pause "but I can't do this anymore!" I tell him wiping my tears as more fall "please understand- I can't bear it I just-"

His lips closed on mine shutting me up.

The kiss was deep not his needy lustful kisses this was different...he kissed me passionately.

"Let me change your mind- I know I can" he pulled away his forehead touching mine "please baby..you can't do this..you can't do this to me!" I felt his tears drip down on my cheeks, seeing him like this broke my heart completely I let out a cry "but Jungkook it's wrong.." I whisper "she's sound asleep in your bed and you're...here with me" I tell him "this is not fair to her...this isn't fair to me! you have no idea of the pain I'm going through..." I say as I place my hands ontop of his hands that were holding my cheeks he had his eyes closed his breathing is uneven and shaky.

"Do you think I'm not suffering too?" He says his eyes bore into mine and I see the pain I feel swim in his eyes too "do you think this isn't hurting me?" He whispered

I shake my head "then break up with her!" I say loudly, to get it through his thick head.

"I can't!" He shouts "I just can't bring myself to!" He looks away from me as I taste my tears and stare at him heartbroken.

I cry "but you can bring yourself to see me in tears begging you to stay away when I want you?" I laugh "do I mean anything to you at all? do you even care about me?" I yell "do you even love me?" I whimpered, my chest heaving up and down.

"Yes I do _____!" He yells back. We're facing each other "stop I beg of you!" he cried tugging on his hair "seeing you cry because of me hurts like hell!" he says backing me up against the wall "good!" I reply my eyes sharply stare into his making his eyebrows raise "you drive me insane _____" he tells me placing his hands beside each side of my head "why can't I stop thinking of you! You! And the way you talk! your body! your scent! Anywhere I go all I think of is you!" He punched a hole in the wall right next to my face "so don't you dare and say that you don't matter to me..you consume me whole and I can't stay away" he pulls me closer his hands on my hips "let me love you _____..." he whispers.

"Let me take care of you stop being so stubborn angel and let me...please _____" he whispers his eyes held so much lust behind I felt his bulge against my inner thigh he leaves trail of kisses on my neck, I whimper and push him away with the little force left in me he stares at me angry.

I swallow the lump in my throat when he walks towards me again "you're horny and that's the only reason you're here" I state he stops dead in his tracks his face inches away from mine "you're only here for pleasure nothing else" I continue "at first it was an honest mistake but then it turned into a habit then I thought you loved me because why would you keep coming back?" I snorted tears pool in my eyes but I don't let them fall.

He wasn't worth it anymore "Jungkook I'm nothing but a game to you" I whisper "and I want out" I turn away from him his grip on my wrist stops me from walking away and he turns me to face him "tell me what I can do to prove you wrong!" His eyes pierce through mine he licks his lips "tell me what to do!" He says louder

I pull my hand out of his and stare into him intensely "I told you what to do" I swallow "because we can't keep doing this I'm done" I tell him walking to my room and I shut the door behind me.

He stood still even after the door had been shut, he was speechless.

Anger took over him he wanted to break your door open and have his way with you but your message was loud and clear so he turned away and closed the apartment door shut after him not wanting to argue with you anymore.

________

A/N: Hey I feel really stumped with this imagine so I need your opinion please how should I carry this on? I'm sorry for any mistakes and for the short part your opinion on this matters so please help me out here!

#jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook scenarios #jeon jungguk #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic

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bobbysriracha · 5 years ago

Text

Ok so instead of studing for my exams like i should i decided to do some math for litg since the game has once again dissapointed so many of us.

I myself am a bobby stan, but am feeling deeply for all those noah stans that have been going through more pain than us. I have a small theory that could mean that you'll never be able to couple up with noah which is really sad since we're all done with hope&noah by now. Just bear with me i am putting way too much time in this lol bcs honestly i'm bored so don't yell at me for mistakes i'll probably have made or just bcs my opinion sucks. But do pls engage in a friendly discussion about it !!! After all we are now yet again in a boring week without litg so what else could we do.

If we can trust the google achievements there seem to be 13 available partners you can actually end up with.

Starting of with the ones i'm kinda certain about are the casa amor boys and marisol + the 2nd female li that is long expected.

This would be: carl + kassam + felix + elijah + arjun + marisol + 2nd fem li = 7. I'm not counting graham bcs i think it's like noah/hope that he will couple up with marisol no matter what. (correct me if i'm wrong but marisol does pick before mc at the recoupling right?)

Then i would also count henrik + lucas. Either the game sends the one you like away to bring back later and give you another chance or you can still catch feelings for the one you liked less anyways. Either way these would be 2 more available partners making up to a count of 9. (So we're missing 4 more)

From the og boys i assume rocco is long gone and not coming back. That would be leaving us with bobby, noah, gary and ibrahim which could be the remaining 4 we needed. BUT here comes the sad part for noah stans: this would be assuming that there's no way you could end up with jakub (not that anyone cares lol) so he'd just be yet another character just added for plot reasons and headaches and disaster recouplings. I believe this is true so noah could still be an available partner. BUT we're just a little past the half of the game and in the previews for next week it's confirmed we're getting yet again new islanders. Logically at least 1 of them could be another actual love interest. Which would mean we have 5 possibilities and only 4 actual ones.

Now let me explain why i think we might never get a chance to couple up with noah. After many weeks of waiting we finally got a chance to couple up with noah. But immediately after we were send off the casa amor with no possibility to be with him. Even if you stayed loyal he will cheat on you and at the recoupling he will most likely always get picked by lottie. In the other case that you didn't get picked by noah that time but still want him, his other suitable love interest is priya who, even though noah doesn't cheat in that case, is dumped off the island and mourned deeply by everyone like me who loved her. In both cases it is yet AGAIN like from literally the first episode, hope who keeps on crying being possessive and succeeding at getting the man. Bcs let's be real we are done with this nope drama and in my opinion if they're so perfect together why not leave the fucking island and start your relationship then. Cough back to my math now: Don't get me wrong, i think the best writing would be to make nope so insufferable and challenging to be able to get with noah and after all that grafting eventually being able to finally steal him from hope and live happily ever after. But that might not be the case.

I think i've babled enough by now. So now i'm gonna contradict my entire theory here it goes: i could be sooo wrong bcs honestly who knows if one of the next boys is gonna be an actual love interest or hell if rahim is gonna pull a rocco and leave bcs he just sucks a person. Which would leave more than enough chance for noah to actually be a love interest. And almost this entire theory could also mean the same for bobby or any of the other love interests i summed up, so i'm making a whole lot of drama for nothing.

DON'T FORGET THIS IS JUST A THEORY AND NOT TO BE TAKING SERIOUSLY BCS LMAO I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS FOR THE LITTLE AMOUNT OF FUCKS I ACTUALLY GIVE. THIS WAS PURELY FOR MY OWN INTERTAINMENT AND BOREDOM. Probably no one even read beyond the first paragraph bcs lol who is this bitch writing an entire bible on litg am i right. I have another theory about another google achievement that talks about just 3 boys but my shit adds up even less than this theory so i wouldn't be expecting it any time soon.

I'm finally done now, peace out everyone, i love bobby, enjoy your week, drink water, stay in school, don't do drugs.

xxx Pandé xxx

#love island the game #litg #love island #love island game #the love island game

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impracticaldemon · 6 years ago

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Dangerous Connections [late submission for Saichifest 2019]

by impracticaldemon a modern, non-canonesque, 4200-word vignette

Rating: M / Lemon Read also on FFN | AO3

Author's Note: I have no idea where this story came from. Unfortunately, it nagged at me until I wrote it, which delayed other writing. Part of the inspiration came from @nospringonions fanfic for Saichifest 2019 (although that fanfic feels brighter, and has a beginning, middle, and end). This is one of my very few non-Shinsengumi-era stories. The setting is a modern Japan AU that has a slightly? darker feel to it than Hakuouki SSL. Partial inspiration for the feel—and Saito's motorbike—go to @kurokiorya

As a final note, the entire second half of the story is more or less about sex.

Dangerous Connections

"I found you a tutor, Hajime-kun!"

Saitō eyed his friend warily. That particular grin always made him nervous.

"Tanaka-sensei said that she would find somebody appropriate, Sōji. There's no need—"

"Tanaka-sensei has already approved my suggestion." Okita's smirk became even more pronounced. "She agreed that it made sense to get somebody who knew the club, and wouldn't mind working around your weird schedule. Besides, it turns out that Chizuru-chan was already on her list of candidates."

Saitō felt himself tense. "Yukimura? Sōji—that's—I don't think that's a good idea at all."

Okita laughed. "Worried you won't be able to concentrate? On the bright side, you won't want to embarrass yourself, right? I figure you'll be speaking and writing English like a pro in no time!" He punched Saitō lightly on the arm—lightly for Sōji, at least.

"There must be other—"

"Get a grip, Saitō! Your family said you had to pass your English competency exam, or quit the team." Okita's expression darkened. "And this year we're going to win the championship, so don't you dare let them force you to quit!"

"I don't intend to!" replied Saitō with rare heat. "You shouldn't have gotten involved in this."

"Oi, what's with you? I thought you'd be pleased. I'm pretty sure you've had a thing for Chizuru-chan for ages—and didn't you mention that your dad wanted you to find a suitable girlfriend? I mean, you're twenty now, and graduating uni in a couple of years, and—"

"Stay. Out. Of. This." Saitō turned on his heel and stalked off, shoulders rigid.

Okita was so surprised that he watched him go.

"Well that was weird—what the hell did you say to him?"

"Nothing he wanted to hear, apparently." It wasn't Heisuke's fault that Saitō was behaving like he had a poker up his butt, but Okita had to suppress an instinctive desire to lash out at the younger man. He didn't handle rejection well—he knew it, but that didn't make him any happier right now.

"Anything I can do to help?" Fortunately, Heisuke was reading the room for once, and didn't demand an immediate explanation. Okita grimaced inwardly. Heisuke was a good guy, and he'd matured a lot in the last couple of years—they all had, supposedly.

"Doubt it. Not unless you're in the mood to torture Hajime-kun for personal information?"

Heisuke stared at him, then waved his hands in an emphatic denial. "First of all, torture really isn't my thing. Second, I wasn't planning to die today."

"You saying I can't take Saitō?"

"MMMMFFFF." Heisuke pantomimed locking up his lips and throwing away the key. Then he ruined it by adding, "Who knows? Not me." He grinned at Okita. "I knows nuffin' guv'nah!"

"What the hell was that? As if your English isn't bad enough to begin with."

"Better'n yours and Saitō's, I hear."

Okita grimaced, then shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me, but Saitō's dad says he either passes the next time, or he's out of the kendo club—national championship or not. The guy's a hardass, too—if he says it, he means it. But we need that championship if we're going to get funding to go international." He scowled.

"Makes me glad I'm not the heir—or even runner-up heir—to some fancy corporation, for once. My dad just wants me to take his guilt money and lead my own life."

"Yeah, yeah. There are worse things, you know?"

"So I'm told." Heisuke bit back a snide rejoinder—Souji was always grouchy when it came to families. Besides, it reminded him what he'd come to say in the first place.

"I don't know if it's related, but I have some news for you. Bad news, and I wish Shinpat had found you first, to be honest. Assuming he didn't avoid you on purpose."

Okita gestured for him to continue, though he was still staring in the direction that Saitō had… gone.

"You know that pharmaceutical company that's been in the news so much recently?"

"No." Then Okita reconsidered. "Wait—yes. Hijikata was ranting about it yesterday, I think. Kondō-san kept having to calm him down—not that there's anything new in that."

"Well, turns out they were into some seriously illegal shit, and even had some kind of stolen army biotech they were working on."

"So?"

"It was owned by Chizuru-chan's dad. In fact, her brother was the manager, at least on paper."

That got Okita's full attention.

"Well, shit."

"Anyway, nobody knows if they were set up, or who leaked the info to the cops—or the press—and so far it's hard to say who in the family knew all the details."

"There is no way Chizuru-chan knew about it, or was involved," Okita snapped.

"Yeah, we know that. But for now, the family, and everyone close to the family, is a suspect. And it gets worse."

"How?" Okita was already trying to sort out the kind of impact this could have on the club. Chizuru was close friends with all of them, and she acted as a kind of book-keeper and general secretary.

"Chizuru's dad made a substantial donation to the club, back when Chizuru started university. That's kind of why we got stuck with her in the first place, remember—not that I minded."

Okita remembered. "Fuck. FUCK!"

"Right? A club like ours—any sports club that wants to compete at the national level and beyond—can't be associated with illegal drugs. And these ones involve army tech, so..."

"Why the hell didn't Hijikata explain this to me yesterday?!" demanded Okita.

Wisely, Heisuke didn't point out that Sōji probably hadn't been listening. Sometimes things were okay between those two, other times they weren't—as in, really weren't. At times like this, he envied Hajime-kun for not living with the rest of them.

Okita glared at Heisuke for not answering his question. "Fine. Where's Chizuru-chan?"

"We don't know."

"What?! How is that even possible? She lives with us, for crying out loud!"

Heisuke took a half-step back, mentally cursing Shinpachi for setting him up to be the bearer of ill tidings. Sōji tended to hit first, ask questions later—well, not so much now, but still. Normally, they sent Sano-san to do stuff like this, but Sano was out of town for the week.

"We think she's either been taken away by her dad, or kidnapped by those Kazama thugs." Heisuke had to lean in to whisper the words, and Okita took the opportunity to grab him by the shoulders and shake him.

"Then what the hell are we doing just talking about it?! Why are we here at school instead of out looking for her?"

"I'm not gonna talk if you keep doing that!"

"Fine. Screw English class, I'm out of here. And I'm really pissed at Hajime-kun for not telling me all this earlier—he must have known."

"Our job is to go to school. Keep up appearances."

"Thank you for that, Hijikata-mommy-san. Sure, I'll do that." Without another word, Okita spun away from Heisuke, and ran for the main entrance.

Heisuke hesitated, then flung up his hands with a groan and sprinted off after him. Nobody was going to be happy when Sōji encountered the ladies and gentlemen of the press. And it wasn't Heisuke's fault that they'd trailed him here after Hijikata-san had slammed the house door in their faces.

Saitō's bike was expensive, but not showy, and it was a lot less noisy than most. That being said, he hadn't taken quite as much care as usual when he'd taken off from school after running into Sōji. Fortunately, he couldn't sense anyone watching as he methodically stowed the bike, and hurried through the parking lot door of his non-descript apartment building. On the face of it, he was just another young guy who'd probably forgotten something he needed for work or school. He'd done a good job of being anonymous here for two years; there was no reason to mess that up now.

He'd originally hoped to throw people off the scent by showing up for class as usual, but he just wasn't calm enough to pull it off. No matter how hard he tried, he still lacked the detachment and control of his father and grandfather—as they often pointed out. And ugh. Sōji had meant it for the best, but Saitō had hoped to avoid anything that might link him to Chizuru except as a member of the club's championship kendo team. The Kazama had top notch intelligence gatherers.

He made himself take the elevator up to his floor—which wasn't the penthouse, since that was just too obvious for the scion of a wealthy corporate empire. At least he wasn't the heir, thank all the gods. He unlocked the door to his apartment, and then carefully locked and bolted it behind him once inside.

"Hajime-san?"

And there she was, waiting for him. His heart-beat picked up at the thought.

"Chizuru…" It was still a delight to use her unadorned first name, and to hear his own name on her lips. He knew he was blushing, but he couldn't seem to help it, or to suppress the inappropriate—very warm—images that caused at least part of the blush.

Without warning—except that he was trained to read an opponent's slightest movement—Chizuru threw her arms around him, and buried her head against his shoulder. He tried not to react to her sudden proximity, but his hormones had other ideas. She was obviously frightened, and it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to gently lift her face to his, and kiss her. Not that they hadn't kissed before, but it was still so new to him—to them both—that he was immediately swept up in it, and didn't notice the passage of time until he realized that he had her pressed tightly against the hallway wall, one hand in her hair, and the other stroking the soft skin of her back under her blouse.

When he tried to draw away, Chizuru clung to him, her lips nuzzling his neck. He could tell that she was embarrassed, but also determined to keep him close. If only he were better at rational thought when they were together like this! Then he could comfort her properly, while still being aware of his surroundings, and considering what to do next.

"Chizuru, we need to plan." She couldn't stay hidden with him indefinitely—though part of him wished she would—but the alternatives weren't clear. "I think it's going to get more difficult after today…" Not so much because of Sōji blatantly throwing them together, but because the press was out there now, and hungry for details. The Kazama family wouldn't miss the opportunity to seize Chizuru if they could find her, and he suspected that Kōdō was finally scared enough to accept the Yukimura-Kazama merger, and hand her over to them to seal the bargain.

Saito made another effort to put some distance between them, but thinking about Chizuru engaged to Kazama Chikage made him want to do anything other than let go. In fact, he wanted very much to forget about everything other than finding out how best to please his beloved—if still secret—girlfriend. His mouth dipped down to the tip of her closest ear, and he began to trace the outer edge with his tongue, which elicited an intoxicating, shivery kind of gasp from Chizuru. He felt his pelvic muscles contract in response, and blood rush down to harden him into full arousal. Without another thought, he pressed a hard kiss—almost a bite—into the side of Chizuru's neck, making sure that his teeth would leave marks.

"Hajime…" Chizuru's voice was a little rougher than usual, and her breathing had quickened. He tightened his hand in her hair, and forced her head up to look at him, so that he could admire the scarlet that now bloomed high on her cheeks, and the way her eyes seemed to glow as she warmed into passion. When he brought his mouth to hers, abandoning her ear and neck, and biting gently on her lower lip, she made another half-muffled sound of pleasure, but louder and more distinct this time. He found himself trapping her even more tightly between his body and the wall, and grinding himself against her, while his tongue parted her willing lips and began to explore her mouth, eventually so deeply that it felt like a flagrant expression of what he wanted to do with the rest of her body.

As if in response to that thought, he felt Chizuru's hands tug the tail of his shirt free of his jeans, so that she could caress his bare skin in the same way that he was touching hers. His father wouldn't be very impressed at how easily distracted he was, he knew, but something rebelled in him at the thought. His friends and colleagues pushed him to be more open; his father and grandfather demanded perfect stoicism. Only Chizuru let him be entirely himself—she didn't mind his silences, she trusted him to listen when she wanted to talk, and she never seemed troubled by his awkwardness. He was utterly in love with her.

Still kissing, they undressed each other, fumbling at buttons, and even occasionally snarling at layers that wouldn't cooperate with their need to be skin-to-skin. Saitō retained enough sanity to lift Chizuru into his arms and carry her to his small bedroom, which was surely a more private and appropriate place to communicate such desires. Not until he laid her down on his bed—hair loose, clothing wildly askew, love-bite darkening on her neck—did he fully process what they were doing, and freeze, appalled by how far he'd let things go. He immediately sat back, still straddling her hips, and forced his greedy hands away from her skin.

To his surprise, Chizuru smiled up at him, and reached out to run her own hand down across the muscles of his stomach to rest lightly on the tight bulge still constrained by his lower fly and boxer-briefs. The button to his jeans was already undone, although it had taken her some minutes to achieve this, earlier. He still wasn't sure whether the button had actually been difficult, or if she'd just been distracted by his lips on her skin, and on the thin material of her lacy bra. Her nipples had hardened intriguingly under the ministrations of his stroking, pinching fingers, and then tongue and teeth.

He stared down at her now, breathless and dry-mouthed with desire, blood pounding in his ears, but desperate not to injure her in any way. Her thumb rubbed gently, but attentively, at the head of his erection, and he flinched inwardly at the combination of the exciting, pleasurable sensation, and the vulnerable, loving, determined expression on her lovely face. It might feel wonderful, but it wasn't right—not when there was fear and sadness lurking behind her passion.

"Chizuru," he whispered, barely able to resist leaning forward into her touch, while forcing himself to keep his hands curled on his thighs, rather than caressing her breasts, or busy with the pale blue panties that lay visible below her loose, rumpled skirt.

"I want this, Hajime. You love me, you believe in me, and I want you to be the first, since I don't know what the future has in store for either of us."

"We'll stay together no matter what, I promise, if that's what you want. But don't—Chizuru, those are the wrong reasons—you must know that!" He hoped that his voice betrayed neither the effort it cost to be rational, nor his hurt at her lack of confidence. In him, in them, he wasn't sure which.

He read stubbornness—and true longing—in her eyes, and the set of her lips. She wasn't going to back down, not when she believed in what she was saying.

"Your father won't want an alliance with a disgraced family, we both know that. And the Kazama want me so that I can produce an heir to both families, Kazama and Yukimura, now that their victory is certain. A marriage, an heir—that will bring everyone into line, and keep our noble blood pure." The last word was low and bitter. "Are you going to subject your family, and your friends, and all their dreams, to the inevitable retaliation? They—the Kazama—can be brutal, you know."

"My family can look after itself," he told her forcefully, trying and failing to ignore her insistent caresses. He shifted a little, then caught her wrists, pushing her down into the bed. "Don't offer yourself to me on such terms. I'll refuse." He wasn't sure he could, but he'd do his best.

Chizuru stared at him, clearly frustrated in every way, but also, maybe, a little hopeful. Or was he imagining it, because he wanted her so much, and needed her to want him back out of love and passion, not despair—or as part of some ridiculous, fatalistic goodbye.

"Hajime? I don't want you to get hurt. I love you. That's the only reason I would ever go to them—"

"I know, but this—" He swallowed, unable to do what he should, and just get up, and get his mind back on prioritizing her safety, and—and so on. Why couldn't things be simple? Why did he always think too much?! He could practically feel Sōji's eyes mocking him for his indecision.

"I'm sorry," Chizuru whispered into the silence. "I was being selfish—to want this time with you. This is my fault—"

"Dammit—no!" He let go of her wrists and curved his hands around her cheeks to cradle her head. "Just… just don't go there." He bent down to kiss her fiercely on the lips, and was surprised to discover that his control was still pitifully weak. Desire reignited as he registered the heat of her skin against his bare chest, and felt her lips part beneath his. He heard her breath hitch—just as it had earlier—and then her arms tightened around him, pulling him fully against her, so that he barely had time to brace one forearm to avoid falling.

"I won't give up—"

"I won't let you go."

With little grace, but also no pointless self-consciousness, he freed them both from their remaining clothes, and gave himself over to kissing and teasing and caressing his beloved's body into heated, extravagant arousal. Inexperience didn't mean lack of imagination, and he'd imagined making love to her so many times before, often to his own chagrin. He kissed and tasted and left marks on her skin, and suckled her breasts, and ran strong, demanding hands along her sides and over her hips and belly and around her smooth backside. And he thanked her, in fervent, heartfelt whispers, for letting him hear her cries of passion, and for sharing her wonderful, sweet body with him.

Her scent was intoxicating—he hadn't realized how much it would affect him. When his explorations finally reached the damp, sensitive folds of skin at her centre, and his fingers started to learn the contours of her most private places, her soft cries became whimpers, and he saw her biting her lower lip so hard that he thought it might bleed.

"Chizuru…" He almost stilled his hand, worried for the first time that he'd somehow hurt her, in his ignorance, but when his fingers slowed, and he lifted his lips from the hard nub of one breast, her expression plainly begged him not to stop, and he felt her hips jerk so as to press her mound more firmly against his hand. Only a little while later, he found himself sliding his fingers within her, both elated and a little shocked by how much he wanted to do such things. His body was beginning to quiver with need and anticipation of release, and he knew that she could feel his hard length pressed tightly against her thigh, and perhaps even the slightly sticky fluid that had started to pool on her skin. Without conscious thought, he pressed his fingers deeper within her, and felt inner muscles tremble and contract against them. Abruptly, he wasn't sure how he was going to manage to hold back any longer. He pulled away from her uncertainly, aware that he'd become completely focussed on sensation.

"Hajime…" She said his name like a plea, and lust jolted through him.

"Chizuru, I… I…" He swallowed, so deep in desire that he couldn't form a proper question. When she reached out and pulled his mouth down to hers, kissing him passionately, his whole body twitched involuntarily, and he clung to her, feeling his climax starting to build out of control. He could only hope—though he was moderately optimistic—that he'd made his lover feel the same way.

He was incredibly grateful when Chizuru shifted her hips, and awkwardly, but without hesitation, helped guide him to her entrance. He took that as permission to finally surrender his thread-bare self-command and join with her, and a soft groan escaped his lips as he thrust into her, his hands moving to grip her hips as he rocked hard against her once, and then withdrew a short space before burying himself deep into her once more, savouring the way her tight, slick walls clenched and pulsed around his shaft. She was very wet, and she smelled of arousal and sex, and a strong wave of possessiveness swept over him along with the desperate yearning of near-orgasm. Unable to stop, he thrust into her again and again, listening to her moan, and feeling her writhe beneath him. Somewhere in the haze of adrenaline and pleasure, he promised himself to do more for her next time, since this time he seemed to lack the ability to do much more than ride a dizzying wave of physical sensation until he was coming hard and fast inside her, his seed spilling hot within her welcoming body.

They lay together for some time afterwards, without speaking, their bodies still joined, their skin sticky with sweat and still sensitive to the other's touch. Saitō was conscious that he had left numerous bruises and marks on Chizuru—some light, some deep—and he was embarrassed that he didn't fully recollect being so rough. It had also occurred to him, too late, that he probably hadn't been careful enough or gentle enough, given that it was her first time. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to be able to think clearly enough to express his concern just yet. He suspected he was smiling, and was a little worried that he looked smug.

Chizuru, on the other hand, looked… happy. More than happy. For some reason that Saitō couldn't fathom, she was gazing lovingly up at him through dreamy, half-closed eyes, and showed no inclination to have him move from where he lay. The only problem was that he felt a distinct inclination to make love to her again, but wasn't sure whether that would be either appropriate, or welcome. He'd never been entirely sure what women really thought about sex, having never had the opportunity—or courage—to ask. But… she really did look happy. And beautiful. Gorgeous, even. Although that didn't necessarily reflect how she felt.

"Thank you," he said, at last. It didn't begin to convey how he felt, but it was a start.

"Oh…" Chizuru looked startled, but then relaxed again and grinned at him. "You're welcome—I mean, thank you, too."

There was a lot going on, back in the real world. And somebody was going to track them down, probably either Sōji, or Hijikata-san, and probably sooner rather than later. Saitō tightened his arms around Chizuru.

"Remember, you promised."

"I know. No giving myself up just to protect everyone I care about—and especially you—from the anger of the most powerful family in the country."

He blinked. "Somehow you make it sound like I'm being selfish." Then, before it could even begin to turn into another disagreement, he added. "But even if I am—yes, that is correct. Also, to quote something either Sano-san, or Shinpachi, said one time: have a little faith, okay?"

Chizuru looked up at him with an unusually roguish smile.

"I have faith in your endurance…"

Saitō felt his eyes widen in surprise, and then Chizuru suddenly looked away, red suffusing her cheeks. Gently, he turned her face back toward his, and kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry if I was too rough—I really am. I don't know what was wrong with me. But I'd be very happy to let you test my endurance, if you want to."

And if Sōji, Hijikata-san, or anyone else needed him in the next hour or two, then that was just too bad. Chizuru's well-being, and her good opinion of him, were far more important than a national championship, a potential rift with his father, or the threats of a family with distinctly dangerous business practices.

[END]

A/Note: I realized part-way through editing that the background for this Saito is influenced by that of the Saito from an entirely different otome game (DTL)

Tags: @shell-senji @hidetheremote @eliz1369 @nalufever @annedey @nospringonions @soujthings @do-it-for-keef @sabinasanfanfic @fury-ous @canadiangaap @aetherium-weaver @hakuyamazakisensei @petri808

To those who read Teachings of Demons: the new chapter is underway and should be finished this weekend. Still dealing with a number of distractions, but hoping for solid writing time in March.

~ Imp

#hakuouki #hakuoki #haku fanfiction #saichi #impracticaldemon #saichifest 2019 #imp writes

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