#now that I’ve had the time to focus on comic work and script writing I’ve been thinking about them all a lot more | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mdazzle151 · 5 months ago

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Content creation and the things I miss

Being on an indefinite hiatus has really made me think a lot about what I did and didn’t enjoy about content creation as a whole, and it’s been pretty eye opening.

Obviously, there’s parts of it that I miss. The community, namely. But there’s other things too. I miss streaming- it was always really fun to be live and able to chat directly with my audience in real time while we draw together.

The redesign videos were really fun to make as well! I still have ideas of what I want the future redesigns to be for the “phantasi revamp”. I think I want the twins to be sea monsters! I’ve had a general idea of what I think they would look like in my head for a long time, but I never got around to doing it before I left.

I’m never sure if it’s self-centred or not- (recently I’ve been leaning towards not self-centred)- but I watch my videos a lot too. I put a lot of work and love into all of them, especially the later ones, and it’s fun to look back on them. Not to toot my own horn, but I think they’re pretty entertaining!

There’s parts of editing that I miss- it was always a long process, but I can honestly say I enjoyed every part of it. Sometimes it was just hard to find the motivation to finish.

I still get comments every now and then on videos, and I read them all. Some of them are really sweet-actually a good majority of them are really sweet! One person wished me a happy birthday in March and it just about made me cry /pos

I’ve been enjoying interacting on Tumblr, and I still want to take things slow, but the more the days pass, the more tempted I am to start streaming again.

Part of me is disappointed in that felling, but I’m trying to be easy on myself for that. There’s no way I could’ve known how I would feel now, seven months later. Five if you’re counting from December.

The deal I made with myself was that I would stay “offline” for a minimum of six months- and ideally would be gone for two years so I could focus on my studies.

But honestly, if I’m missing content creation this much only six-ish months in, I’m wondering if I’m going to make it to that two year milestone. Maybe I won’t, maybe I will, but I need to remind myself that healing happens at different speeds. Maybe I thought I needed a longer time to heal and I just didn’t. Maybe I’m not ready to go back yet. I’m still figuring it out, I’m trying to take it slow.

Exploring my comfort on Tumblr has been interesting to say the least! It’s been fun, and I haven’t had anxiety around it. I’m really happy. I haven’t been focussing on the numbers or amount of interaction. I’ve just been having fun sharing my thoughts and drawings, which is what I want out of content creation.

When I left seven months ago, it was because of bad mental health and connecting self-worth to what I’m able to create. I still struggle with self-worth, but I think I’ve successfully separated it from my creativity- and in doing so, I’ve realized that I love Contant creation because of the creativity- not the possibility for opportunity.

I’ve noticed a pattern in every aspect of content creation that I have longed for in my time away. Everything I’ve had an itch to do has had to do with sharing creativity and passion for the art of creation. Where I used to think about play buttons and numbers and conventions- I now think about all the little details that I love about making videos and comics and stories.

Script writing, editing, recording voice overs, implementing comedy, delivering a message, exploring my artistic boundaries, over analyzing my old work, teaching others what I taught myself… there’s so much that I enjoy about it, and it makes my heart blossom knowing that THESE are the parts of being a CC that I miss, not the analytics and competition.

I’ve said for years that I see it as a hobby- a creative outlet for me and my community, and I truly believe that! But I’d be a liar if I said it was always this way. There were definitely times where I was focussing way too much on the career aspect of it, even though I haven’t wanted that to be my career for years now.

This break has really been good for me and my mental health- and it’s been really good for me to reconnect with what I actually enjoy about what I did.

I know that I’ll always struggle with mental health in some capacity- this isn’t something that you can just miracle away, after all. It’s going to be something that I struggle with for a lifetime, and even though that’s a hard pill to swallow, I’m slowly accepting it. I won’t ever be 100% okay, and that’s okay. what’s important to me is that I keep my heart happy and find joy in life- remember what I love and why I love it.

I get a little burst of excitement in my stomach when I think about returning too much. I’m not sure when it will happen, and I’m still not going to say it will happen (I have no idea what the future holds), but for now I can say wholeheartedly that I do hope I will return soon, wether soon means next month or next year.

Have a little excerpt from one of my journal entries, as a treat :) I think it explains my feelings pretty well.

“I still think about my past online, but not nearly as much as I used to. It’s just part of my history and that’s okay. I don’t need to explain myself to anyone. And that feels really nice.” - March 19 2024

(Maybe it’s a little ironic since I did just explain myself in great detail- but I think it’s important to note that I wrote this all because I wanted to, not because I felt like I needed to.)

Merci beaucoup, tout le monde. Bonne journée et à bientôt.

#chatting but longer (thoughts)#long post

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dailyrandomwriter · 11 months ago

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Day 477

As one may have noticed I fell off the ‘writing a daily post’ not once, but twice this month, which is ironic because it is National Novel Writing Month, but things have been very busy. Also, I have been finishing my prep work for my journal since December is literally tomorrow.

But that’s a conversation for tomorrow. Let’s instead talk about National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).

While I wasn’t going to write a novel, because frankly I have enough going on between trying to upkeep my daily writing and working on Chimera Academy, so instead the goal was to write 1,800 words per day. Using this as a chance to focus a lot on Chimera Academy, since that is the project I’m mainly working on.

In all honesty, between the training for the new database and preparing to go on holidays, November was not an ideal time to try something like this. Coupled by the fact I was making Christmas cards, and everything else, I was pretty close to burning out.

Though miraculously without a meltdown.

However, despite the fact I didn’t manage to write 1,800 words a day, there were successes in this attempt. The first is that all the 2nd and 3rd year students I had planned out now have their own profiles and backstories. I’ve even started on the 4th year student profiles.

There were two more short stories written within that world, things that would not fit into the comic, but would as a short side story.

And finally, the chapter Fast Friends was scripted, and three more chapters were outlined. This is excellent, because @wereah, has now started working on Cael’s introduction, which means she’ll be getting into Fast Friends right afterwards. This does mean I have to spend some time and prose the Club Faire chapter so it’s ready to be scripted once Were-Ah gets into Fast Friends, but that’s a future me problem.

Overall, this is a lot more that I got done, than I would have expected. Would I do this again? Maybe.

#nanowrimo #results of nanowrimo #counting your successes

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yeowninefive · 2 years ago

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My 2022 Art Retrospective

It’s been, uh, quite a year. I’m honestly not sure where to start; because I feel like as much as I want to focus on the more critical elements of my year, they’re largely surrounded by a lot of good things.

I’ll try to start off by focusing on my art goals I outlined for this year back in 2021: drawing more fanart, returning to animation, drawing more complex environments/backgrounds, adapting more of the stories/scripts I had tried my hand at writing so far into a comic/illustration format, and doing direct collaborations / art trades.

Fanart: Mixed bag, but leaning towards positive. Just a little bit more fanart compared to last year; but including gift art, it;s. I also feel that when the year first started, I was on pace on delivering a decent rate of fan art (at least one for each month), but I do think as I focused on two OC-related projects (Pandy and the Commodities/Playbill Commodities; Deuwood in Another World), that fell by the wayside. So going into 2023, ratcheting up the fanart is the one goal I’d like to achieve for next year. I feel this would be especially important, because at least on deviantArt, two of the fanarts I made this year (The Great Pet Race on Sesame Street and Save the Last Dance) ended up as among my most viewed and most favorite artwork on that site.

Animation: Small baby steps taken forward. I posted at least three distinct animations (three separate ones, four total—one completed animation, one WIP, and both the WIP and final for a third animation). Not a lot, but it’s still a step up from the complete dry spell that was 2021. I think they each serve as a decent showcase of various techniques I’ve gotten from learning animation over the course of this year. My goal going into 2023 is that I’m able to somehow streamline my approach to animation to produce more animations, namely with them being short but being fairly polished and focused on particular techniques. I actually have a handful of animation concepts that are on the shelf; and I hope to get them completed over the course of the year, alongside some new concepts.

Backgrounds/environments: A step back from 2021—environments were largely non-existent; and the few I did make are still simplified compared to the environments I made back in 2021, or even 2020. With that said, I think it also shows where my focus in art has shifted from when I first started (which was largely my concept art for potential videogame environments) to where I am now (which is largely original characters created by me and others). So for 2023 I’m not really invested in keeping detailed backgrounds/environments as a priority. I have a few environment/background artworks I would like to complete, but they really are works that I only return to work on in a blue moon. I imagine that if I do get some produced, it will largely be as a bonus element. In its place; I think I’d to substitute it with a new goal for 2023—the new year is going to officially mark ten years of my online artist career. So to commemorate that, I’d like to start doing a handful of remakes of my older art over the years; to showcase my current art skills and how my art has evolved over time.

Comics/stories: I’m sorry to say nope, nada, zilch. Beyond one entry (The Great Pet Race comic, which as aforementioned was popular on deviantArt); I never got around to completing any others. There was even one comic concept I wanted to do to commemorate the launch of the Sonic 2 Movie that I’ve honestly just sat on, unfortunately. (Maybe I can get around to it for the one-year anniversary of the film’s release, maybe?) My only real explanation/excuse for this is that I was more pre-occupied with my previously-mentioned OC projects. It’s also not for a lack of ideas or a lack of trying—I have a bunch of concepts I’ve written down over the past year, a bunch of others from previous years I haven’t done yet; and I’ve even started on a couple. I think delivering on these concepts (and then some) is what I’ll pin as my biggest art priority for 2023.

Art trades/collaborations: Another one where I’ve largely struck out on. I consider this an odd miss, given the large amount of artwork I’ve done that feature other creators’ original characters (and how popular those works have been around tumblr and Twitter). This is something I think I should be easily able to deliver on going into 2023, but I’m not hedging my bets on it exactly. Like with the backgrounds/environments, I would plug this as a lower priority goal to achieve. I’d even substitute this with another goal in that I’d like to try and dip my finger into art commissions, and possibly even request some for myself. I’ve mainly shied away from taking commission requests, because of concerns with time management; when I first started with digital art, I did various avatar requests that ultimately got completed over the course of a couple of years. A more recent series of commissions I did in 2020 wasn’t as bad but still took place over the course of several weeks. In my context of my art commissions, they’re also done just for fun and for free. I’ve thought about it a couple of times, but for now, I don’t think I’m ready or particularly invested in doing art commissions as a profession/for money.

With all of my goals from 2022 examined and used to outline my goals for 2023, I think this just leaves how exactly was my art output this year, outside of comparisons to my goals. In terms of output, for the third time running; I’ve managed to outdo myself once more. 2022 saw me publishing roughly seventy different drawings (with a few animations) included, nearly eighty overall when including alternate versions of the artwork. I also do feel that some of the small springs of popularity my art garnered in 2021 helped paid certain dividends for this year. As I mentioned earlier, particular pieces I posted garnered a decent amount of popularity across the three sites I post my art on (deviantArt, Twitter, and tumblr), and a handful of them garnered some small followings on dA and Twitter. Tumblr was admittedly more a mixed experience in that I feel only a select handful of my art really garnered any traction; even though it was the platform where some of my art actually hit 100 interactions (likes/reblogs/retweets/etc., not views) for the first time ever anywhere. And much like with last year, the gift art I made featuring other people’s OCs were broadly my most popular works; though other art I made (certain fanart and art of my OCs) were also liked quite a bit at certain places.

Beyond my art goals, I’ve been mainly thinking about changing my strategy of posting art going into 2023. As some of you who have been following me may know, I’ve been thinking about setting up shop on another social media platform; especially in light of…certain management changes that have happened with Twitter (which is a shame, as Twitter is the site I’d say my art gets the most consistent engagement. deviantArt’s flirtation with AI art and their bungled attempt to default everybody’s art into AI datasets did not help matters either). I actually almost had a fourth one up and running at Instagram a few weeks back, but was incredibly bothered with certain policies they had that I promptly had second thoughts. (I’ve cooled off a bit since then, to not completely rule that place out.) I’m still looking into other sites to try and expand my reach—regular candidates I’ve been considering are cohost, Newgrounds, and Pillowfort; hopefully I’ll finally commit to one of those options later into the new year.

I’ve also been considering different approaches in direction to the new accounts I make—when I initially opened my IG account, it was with the intention of using it as a “second-run/second-tier” art account; where I only post my more popular artworks there, after their “original run” in other areas. Truth be told, I’ve also been considering this for my Tumblr art account as well in light of how most of my art performed this recent year; leaving dA and Twitter (as long as the latter’s still up) as my “first-run” art accounts. It’s bittersweet in that tumblr’s always been my initial outlet for my art after dA (which I use as my comprehensive art archive); but I feel that it by and large feels too overlooked to give it the same amount of investment/attention as I normally do. If nothing else, maybe I’ll rely more on scheduled reblogs at certain times for posting art. I’ll cap this off with the final note that while “first-run/second-run” accounts have been my main idea for future art accounts, I’ve been considering other ideas.

…whew! I think we can leave it here, I honestly had to condense this down quite a bit. As always, to any readers who was willing to pull up a seat and coast through my stream of reflective consciousness. I offer you my personal thanks. And of course, going into the new year;I hope you have a great New Years’ Eve/New Years’ Day, and the rest of 2023 is just as good if not even better!

#2022 #2022 year in review #art retrospective #long post

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rajinedgeofdarkness · 2 years ago

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Reflections……

I often need to remind myself how far I’ve gotten with this project and with art in general even though it’s still close to the start! I feel my high school self would be proud maybe a little impatient since school and life got in the way for much of the past 16 years. I got into creative writing in 3rd grade, got into art shortly after. In grade 10/11 I attempted my first comic with one of my OCs but scrapped it after 3 pages because one, my art skills were crap and two I had no real story going at the time. I had ideas, themes I liked, but nothing more. Fast forward to college daydreaming on my many walks to class playing around with a few plot iterations. Ian and Skyfyre (she had a different name before that I cannot recall for the life of me) were the first characters I came up with but their original versions were vastly different from those of present day. For example Ian was a human of Spanish descent (heavily inspired by an orchestra friend) who was a master swordsman and had a dragon of his own. My first comic illustrated him meeting Skyfyre who recently escaped from an Area 51 like government agency.

I guess I just am really proud of myself and this past year despite some struggles I get to focus on my art than ever before which has helped move this project forward once more and with more speed. I am alone on this and balancing life, art, and career goals hasn’t been the easiest…..glad I don’t have to be a Mom right now……than I would not be able to focus on this for more than minutes at a time. I remember writing my first storyline snippet in 2016 (first time putting my ideas rattling in my head down). That storyline snippet turned into several…..which turned into rough outlines……..which than turned into scripts and storyboards,….etc. Still plenty of work ahead with the design of it all, but getting there…..it finally feels like real progress. This year’s Inktober was proof of that!

Picture above…..Catherine smoking

#conceptart #characterart #update #catherine #reod #rajinedgeofdarkness #webcomic

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thecurseofdemisecomic · 2 years ago

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Great comic so far…can you explain your process? How did your initial ideas get onto the page?

I wish I had an organized answer for this but I do not not djsjbsksbsk. I’ve tried a lot of ways to make comics and I sorta found the way for me to do it. But my art process is a mess, but I’ll try to explain it the best I can!

Right now, the comic making itself is self taught, but how I got this story going was by having a general idea of what was going to happen. Some people don’t need outlines of their stories to get going, but I am not one of those people. I planned out what kind of dungeons there will be and what will happen, and I write what the ending will be. It’s very important to have big moments 100% planned when you write a comic. The beginning should be prepared and so should the ending, along with important plot points in the middle. And then I reread the script 20,000 times and make adjustments. I’m a very visual person so I usually think about how it’s going to look as I read the script, but you can also thumbnail or story board . You don’t have to write the entire story to start the comic tho! The major things you need is the beginning and ending, but it’s also important to know something big that’ll happen in the middle. But as I started drawing the comic, I was able to add some things to help with character development and what not. It takes time.

I used to do thumbnails but after a while I got sick of them, I don’t like thumbnailing very much, so I just jump right into the drawing. I sketch out the general vibes with word bubbles and panels, and then I move things around with anything that needs to get moved. Sometimes pages do not work out where I need to restart, but yeah! My panels aren’t anything special, I usually throw in some triangles or non-squares to shake things up, but for me, my main focus is making sure it’s readable.

I don’t know how helpful that is, but that’s how I do it. I always have the script in hand as I plan out the pages, making sure I know which pieces of dialogue will be on there. But yeah! I’m honestly not sure if this is even what you asked but that’s my process!

#asks #clarity is very important for me #so I always make sure the script doesn’t feel rushed while reading it #it’s hard to balance out show vs tell #sometimes you need to tell the audience #but sometimes you need to show #hope this makes sense lol

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sinagrace · 4 years ago

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On the subject of marvel comics ...

If we’re gonna talk about how Marvel does literally nothing about giving a leg up to marginalized creators and staff members, I’ve got another story to tell. Towards the end of my time there, I’d been getting a sense that marvel editors were lying about keeping me in mind for projects after iceman, and the following incident sealed the deal in terms of being told (not in any legally binding way) that I had overstayed my welcome at the house of ideas. Sometime in 2018, an editor at a different publishing house asked if I’d pitch for an all-ages Spider-Man book they were licensed to produce. Considering I saw CB Cebulski have a conniption at a comic con party when another Marvel Comics writer told him he’d been courted to do the same for avengers, I asked that editorial to make absolutely sure marvel was cool with me pitching for this project. The editor got approval, and I wrote a damn good idea that was on the fast track to being the next arc in the series. For those who aren’t familiar, when you’re not a household name, pitching for a legacy character is quite a bit of work. Given my lifelong love of Spider-Man, it wasn’t exactly grueling to come up with a handful of ideas and then properly outline the one my editor liked the most… but it’s still work. All that being said, I felt great about the final document, and that I’d bought myself a few more months of being Marvel-adjacent so I could continue growing my reputation for being known for my writing chops, and rinse off the notion that I was ever anyone’s diversity hire. Cut to a few weeks later, and my editor tells me that I can’t be used for the series. The exact words he relayed from Marvel were: “they’d like to keep the focus on iceman for now.” That e-mail came in the day I turned in my last script for Iceman. I reached out to Marvel’s talent relations guy, and he got me on the phone to explain a completely different reason why I was taken off the book: he said that Marvel only wanted people with experience in all-ages because there were different formatting rules than what goes into a standard comic script (a half truth that doesn’t matter when you read the next sentence). I mentioned that I did an all-ages book for Simon and Schuster, a middle grade series for Image Comics, short stories for Boom Studios, and edited an all-ages title for Robert Kirkman. The talent relations guy was like, “Oh, I didn’t know all that.” He then went on to say that Marvel had a list of people they wanted this editor to approach and as a result some wires got crossed and thus I was out of several months’ work. He didn’t offer to fix the problem, he didn’t offer to throw me on any number of space-filler mini-series that were just basically keeping Jonathan Hickman’s seat warm… nothing. In response, I said to the talent relations guy: “Do you believe what you’re telling me?” He didn’t have a particularly good answer. Oh if you’re wondering: like NONE of the writers who did end up getting hired for these all-ages titles had legitimate experience with all-ages material. They’re all great writers and some of them are my homies, but it’s not like they came from scholastic or random house. All of this is to say: I went above and beyond to make sure I was approved to pitch on a project, I worked my butt off and wrote something my editor was incredibly enthusiastic about, and then I magically got unpicked and wasn’t offered a reasonable explanation, a substitute gig, or a kill fee for the work I had put in on the proposal. Thanks, Marvel. This whole debacle wasn’t included in a piece I wrote last year because the editor I was working with asked me not to. Given that his relationship with Marvel was already tenuous, he didn’t really need more pressure/ stress. This guy went to bat for me and helped get me one of my favorite gigs, and having been in his position as an editor dealing with multiple bureaucracies, I didn’t want to make his life any harder. But he’s no longer at that company, and he gave me permission to bring this up. So here we are. I hate that I’m once again in a position where I have to call out Marvel on some BS, because I don’t know that anything positive will come from it, and that everything I’ve done in my career will once again be boiled down to: “semi-attractive queer comic creator complains about marvel comics.” Like, never mind that I’ve been at this since I was in high school, ran Kirkman’s imprint on my own before I was 25, and have gone on to write almost all of my favorite DC Comics characters after leaving Marvel. It’s shitty to be an individual talking about a beloved company... but it’s the right thing to do. The only thing I can 100% predict will happen from me speaking up is: a bunch of haters are going to get back on my dick again and make social media unbearable. To those folks, my birthday is on Monday… can you maybe not? Just this once? Stories like what I've written need to be considered when discussing if Marvel has actually done anything to be accountable for not only hiring more diversely, but for fostering an environment where those people feel valued. My only advice to Marvel would be: fucking hire a third party organization to teach you all how to do this right… you can’t keep propping Sana up on a podium and pat yourselves on the back for doing half of the bare minimum. I hate that I still love your books (I spent good money buying the oversized Silver Surfer Black collection), and I just wish that the gatekeepers were a bit more responsible and cognizant of how deep their behavior and apathy cuts. Granted, this is a company that has a bad reputation for not treating anybody fairly, so there is always the argument that Marvel Comics is just run by a box of pythons who indiscriminately poison and devour folks. I’m not sure... after 18 months away from them, I still try to excuse the bad behavior and blame myself for how things went down.

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aeonghaseyo · 3 years ago

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Your Trace, My Treasure

Summary: Marc and Nathaniel write and draw, respectively, on each others' notebooks because it's DEFINITELY a couple thing to do.

Word Count: 2105 AO3 link

Relationship/s: Nathaniel Kurtzberg/Marc Anciel Category: M/M Characters: Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marc Anciel, Alix Kubdel (mentioned), Marinette Dupain-Cheng (mentioned), Juleka Couffaine (mentioned), Rose Lavillant (mentioned), Alya Cesaire (mentioned) Language used: English Author's Note: The creators of MLB really need to give the side characters screen time. The love square isn't the only romantic set of ships in the show and there are much more cute ships to write about. And so in my first time of writing a Miraculous Ladybug fanfic, it's about a ship that's entirely not part of the love square. This is my final workshop output from a creative writing class I enrolled in during the summer to get units in advance. Special thanks to my professor and two of my classmates for their feedback; I couldn't have made this work even more wonderful without their help. For the non-love-square ship and this being a successful workshop output thus far, I think I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back and more fanfic ideas to write. :)

Compared to the courtyard at Françoise Dupont High School where the lively chattering of students can be heard and the scrambling of footsteps were a staple, the art room was its own entire world of silence.

It was supposed to be a calming silence in that same art room where Marc and Nathaniel were to work on art-related endeavors of their own, but the former found this unwelcoming and rather deafening. It weighed down on his being that the atmosphere was unbearably awkward, much like he was most of the time even before he met Nathaniel and became his partner in creating comic books about Ladybug, Chat Noir, and their akumatized alter-egos who turned good and served as part of the superhero duo’s akuma-fighting team. Despite a remarkable development from being acquaintances, to newfound partners, and now to a bloomed romantic couple, Marc Anciel, as awkward as ever and still testing the waters on this newfound relationship, couldn’t shake this nagging feeling of inadequacy as someone’s significant other.

It just goes to show him that even though his romantic feelings for Nathaniel had been reciprocated at Day 0, it does not remove the remaining unease that Marc currently feels at Day 1. It was his first time in a relationship, and it was with the boy whose drawings he admired so much from the school paper. Simply put, it was too good to be true.

Unfortunately, the awkwardness Marc felt wasn’t masked enough, and Nathaniel immediately noticed from his place by the table beside his raven-haired beau. How could he not? It was very obvious, from the way Marc’s hand shakily distorted his usually refined, elegant script while writing the next chapter of their comic to the way his expression was contorted as if he was constipated. Nathaniel thought to himself that it was still an adorable sight, but clearly, something was up, and it wouldn’t do well to just ignore whatever troubled his beloved partner. Attempting to break the ice, the redhead cleared his throat, then spoke to call Marc’s attention.

“Marc.”

The novelist jolted in surprise at the utterance of his name. “Y-yes, Nathaniel?”

Leaning in for a better view of the page Marc was writing on, Nathaniel replied, “Your handwriting’s different.”

“W-wait, really?” blurted out Marc, quickly covering the page with his gloved hand. “I d-didn’t know you were p-particular with handwriting.”

Nathaniel placed a gentle, caring hand on his boyfriend’s with a smile aimed directly at him as he clarified himself, “It’s not that, Marc. I’ve seen it and it’s great. Right now, it just looks… wobbly. You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

Even if Nathaniel was a recluse in his own class, he could very well read into the emotions of people, but he doesn’t show it that often. As endearing as it was as a show of concern towards shy Marc, it was also overwhelming for the raven-haired novelist to have been the subject of such deep perception, even from the boy his heart palpitates for.

It was then that Marc’s fight or flight response reminded him in a split-second that he needed some sort of diversion for Nathaniel not to remind him of his own awkwardness.

“Isn’t it weird that our art teacher didn’t come here?” Marc rapidly questioned as he struggled not to look at the red-haired boy beside him. Despite this attempt to keep Nathaniel’s focus off of his disposition, glancing towards the door and not at Nathaniel did not help stop the blood from rushing to the novelist’s fair cheeks. His partner might be tired of this, of him, already, but that light chuckle of pure amusement coming from Nathaniel disproved that thought.

“Hey, hey, settle down Marc,” chided Nathaniel, “he might be running late. It’s okay for us to use the art room so long as it’s reserved around this time. Good thing that he reserved it at an earlier time than usual.”

With innocent green eyes, the raven-haired boy looked his boyfriend in the eye and asked, “H-he can do that?”

“Of course, he can. Let’s just wait for him, okay?” reassured Nathaniel, his left hand making its way on Marc’s right shoulder discreetly. “I’m sure my other classmates will arrive here shortly too.”

A shy smile emerged from Marc’s face as he replied, “Okay, Nath.”

Suddenly, a ringtone from the phone which was in Nathaniel’s pocket sounded audibly enough to catch both the boys’ attention. The redhead immediately fished out the device from his pocket and unlocked it, revealing three unread text messages from his close friend Alix.

Hey Nath! Something came up and I couldn’t swing by the art room. Love troubles again with Marinette. Juleka and Rose are also helping out with me so they can’t come.

I can’t believe that Marinette got invited personally by Adrien to his photoshoot but she can’t even give him her handmade gift or ask him out. Because she’s such a wuss, I got dragged here in the park by Rose because Mari needs all of her girl friends to push her towards Golden Boy Agreste YET AGAIN.

And apparently Alya alone couldn’t do it. Sorry! You’ll have Marc to keep you company anyway. Have fun! ;)

So much for those girls coming over to the art room. Nathaniel let out a sigh as he muttered, just enough for Marc to hear, “I stand corrected. The others aren’t coming.”

Catching on his partner’s crest-fallen demeanor and gazing at his face with sympathetic green orbs, Marc replied, “Guess it’s just the two of us for now.”

The next minutes were spent in silence again, with Marc continuing to finish a paragraph while Nathaniel sketched a bird’s eye view of the Eiffel tower as the background in one panel of the comic storyboard in his notebook. After several minutes elapsed, however, curiosity got the best of Marc, and so, with the tip of his pen lingering on the period of his last sentence, he kept on glancing at Nathaniel and the storyboarding he was working on. Besides the sheer focus that was evident in Nathaniel’s turquoise orbs, the shy novelist couldn’t help but notice the fine, steady strokes his beau’s hand were making with his fine-pointed mechanical pencil. So neat, so pristine. It’s amazing how he didn’t need an eraser to erase certain portions of his drawings over and over.

Marc had seen artist sketches himself of both people and objects, mostly done by his friend Marinette. As someone aspiring to become a fashion designer, she would be engrossed in sketching designs day by day, passion ignited by the sparks of inspiration she draws from around her. However, since Marinette’s sketches had obvious hints of disorder, as it normally is with crude artist sketches, it clearly contrasted with the otherwise structured sketches Nathaniel makes for his comic books. Marc, fully in awe, couldn’t help but take a break from his writing and stare at the red-haired illustrator’s creative process right next to him.

Meanwhile, Nathaniel, thanks to the strong, overbearing feeling of being watched, was getting overly conscious of his work. Keeping his composure to the best of his ability, he quickly turned to Marc and asked, “Do you need something Marc?”

Snapped out of his trance wide-eyed, Marc inwardly panicked. ‘Oh no, I must be staring at him too long! I hope I didn’t spook him too much.’

Scrambling for a sensible response, the novelist stuttered out, “I-i want to write something in your notebook.”

Setting down his pencil while his turquoise eyes were still on Marc, Nathaniel blinked inquisitively. “Oh, why would you want to do that?”

“B-because,” the shy writer reasoned, “I want to write something to remind you of me. T-that is, if y-you don’t mind.”

The red-haired teen averted his gaze from his partner as he remarked, “You know I don’t let anyone write on my notebook, Marc.”

This response triggered the disappointment that Marc had anticipated from the moment that they started continuing to develop the rest of the comic book they were working on together. It was even more daunting for the timid writer that their art teacher and the rest of Nathaniel’s classmates who were usually in the art room with them did not show up at that moment, or even at all. Marinette would tell Nathaniel that it’s a great idea for his newfound love to leave special traces on his personal notebook while Rose, somehow finding this romantic, would gush at this gesture with Juleka mumbling to herself in response. But what would have been the cherry on top for Marc at the moment is that if Alix was there to egg on Nathaniel, pressuring him to give in and let his boyfriend write something in his notebook. At least the comic relief from Alix’s teasing would help alleviate the collective awkwardness the couple felt at that moment. God, if only it wasn’t just the two of them in the art room at that moment.

But alas, he was alone, helpless and daunted, and he was facing the dragon which was Nathaniel, or whatever Nathaniel thought of him at that moment.

However, all of the fears and doubts that plagued Marc left him when Nathaniel continued with a small, endearing smile on his face, “But for you, I’ll make an exception.”

The novelist beamed at his boyfriend, green eyes sparkling with delight. “R-really?”

“In one condition.”

Marc took and held in a quick breath. “Anything, Nath.”

The illustrator picked up his pencil once again and uttered, with an outstretched hand right by Marc’s notebook, “Let me draw in your notebook.”

It was at that moment when Marc could feel his heart flutter, accompanied by the butterflies in his stomach as he opened his own notebook to the very last page and laid it out right by his beau’s workspace.

“It would be my pleasure.”

In a span of 2 minutes while Nathaniel was drawing on the last page of his boyfriend’s notebook, Marc, fidgeting and tapping his pen softly on his chin, racked his brain for a simple yet memorable piece to write on the first page of the illustrator’s notebook, which was left empty out of personal preference by its owner. Hoping to obtain bit by bit of inspiration, he glanced at Nathaniel, then at the empty page, then at Nathaniel, and so on and so forth. This went on, albeit unnoticed by the redhead, until mere seconds after, he scribbled away on the page once he had gotten attuned with his creative writing flow.

After both of them finished leaving their traces on each other’s notebook pages, Nathaniel and Marc gave each other back their notebooks and instantly opened them to where they each left their special mark. Struck with awe, the novelist softly traced the outline of the drawing and his emerald eyes were drawn to Nathaniel’s signature which he left underneath the recently drawn portrait. A tinge of pink formed on Marc’s cheeks as he admired every stroke that constituted this drawing of him done by none other than the boy he once looked up to, now loved, and who loved him back.

“No one’s written me a poem before,” Nathaniel uttered as he perused every line written by Marc on that now extra special page in his notebook, eyes taking in every word written in that distinct elegant script that served as an epitome of beauty that the redhead beheld. One particular line at the end of the writing, however, caught him by surprise: the words ‘Je t’aime’ accompanied by Marc’s signature in that same fancy handwriting the illustrator adored dearly.

Having regained his composure, Marc turned to Nathaniel and asked, “Do you like the poem? I-i thought of it on the spot so it might not exactly be to your liking, but-”

“I love it,” interrupted the red-haired teen breathlessly, wrapping an arm around his significant other and squeezing his shoulder. “Really Marc, you make the most wonderful written pieces.”

An expression as bright as day graced Marc’s features as he replied, albeit with a bit of shyness in his voice, “Y-you really think so?”

Nathaniel threw any single hint of hesitation in his being out the window as he placed a tender, loving kiss on Marc’s forehead. “I do. We’re meant to be partnered together, after all.”

And just like that, the uncomfortable awkwardness that haunted Marc was instantly warded off, and in a flash, he enveloped Nathaniel in a tight, warm, loving embrace and leaned into him in newfound solace. The silence in the art room has never been this comforting as the couple relished in this seemingly endless embrace together.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #mlb fanfiction #nathaniel x marc #nathaniel kurtzberg #marc anciel #marcnath #mlb fanfic

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evilwickedme · 3 years ago

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ok so to sum up my feelings for leverage: redemption, season 1(a): (long post warning, there’s a tl;dr at the end)

I knew that Hardison wouldn’t be in most of the season due to Aldis Hodge being a busy bee nowadays, but I didn’t realize that meant he’d only be around for the first two episodes. He was sorely missed, not only because of my attachment to him, but also because he’s usually the grounding factor in the group dynamic, and his role as info guy and tech guy was split evenly between two characters who had their own issues.

That said, Hardison is absolutely a highlight of the two episodes he’s in. his speech about redemption was everything I could’ve hoped for (plus, more evidence for the Jewish!Hardison pile...). I wish we’d gotten to see more of his dynamic with Breanna because what we saw was funny and sweet and we don’t generally get to see Hardison taking care of somebody who so desperately needs taking care of. I hope that Aldis Hodge is around for more episodes in 1(b), because what we’re left with feels a little hollow.

Sticking to original leverage characters for now, for the most part the leverage crew still felt true to the original series as characters, even if the show itself was a little bit confused at times. The actors understand their characters and embody them so well that I think one could give them the trashiest script ever and they’d still sell it. Sophie is a particular focus in 1(a) because of Nate’s death, and she’s particularly well written as a result.

That said, I’m super bitter that we saw little to no mastermind!Parker. Parker’s character being given the mastermind role was a big deal and it feels like they’re walking it back because they feel uncomfortable with it. It is eventually given an in-text excuse, but literally in the last episode, and it was not a particularly convincing reason, and in fact contradicted moments from previous episodes (Sophie leaving for a client meeting and ignoring Parker in ep3 comes to mind). It’s frustrating, it makes the end of the original leverage feel pointless, and letting Parker make a decision once in a while is not the same thing at all. The original series repeatedly showed us that while everyone in the team had their strengths, Parker works problems and solves them in unique, interesting ways, and other characters’ days in the limelight tended to be comedic or even failures. It’s a broken promise, and a pretty major broken promise at that.

On a more positive note, Parker’s dynamic with literally everyone was fantastic. She’s possibly the best written character this season. They’ve taken the autism out of the subtext and into the text (although obviously still undiagnosed), and given her coping mechanisms that were taken seriously in the text even when they were played for laughs, which I appreciated. Her attempts to mentor Breanna were sweet, her friendship with Sophie was electric and at times (CRIMES) hilarious, and as usual, she has a fantastic dynamic with Eliot that makes my heart burst. If you don’t think they’re romantically involved, at least acknowledge there’s a life partnership here. They’ve spent the last decade together.

(We’ll get to Harry.)

Eliot isn’t given much arc-wise, which is frustrating since he’s my favorite. He’s being presented as the goal at the end of a redemption arc, ie to keep working at it every day until your soul heals or whatever, and it doesn’t reflect the message they’re trying to convey via Hardison’s speech and our two new characters. He’s got his moments, but I think they under utilized his potential.

Breanna!!! Breanna’s my new favorite, except for Eliot. She’s hilarious, she’s insecure, she’s nerdy and excited in a way that’s similar to Hardison but still distinct in its inherent teenage-girl-ness and I LOVE IT. Unlike the previous series, where Hardison’s “age of the geek” was often a joke played on Hardison, we’re at the point where Eliot and Parker are both right there with him, and so they accept and even appreciate Breanna’s nerdiness. Also, canon gay character? In YOUR Leverage? It’s more likely than you think.

(No, I never thought they’d make ot3 canon on screen. I hoped, but I didn’t think it would actually happen.)

I think Breanna’s the character that will be the most interesting to see grow. She’s got a lot of potential and a list of crimes a mile long (or more). I adore her with all my heart. I want to see her tiktok account.

Harry. Oh, Harry.

It took me a while, but I do like Harry. It took a while, because the narrative positioned him at the same level as Nate back in episode 1 of original Leverage. But in episode 1 we didn’t know the other characters. We had Nate as the POV character, and so we cared about him because we were seeing the world through his eyes. (This is TV Studies 101. I know this, because I took TV Studies 101 in 2019.) In Leverage: Redemption, we no longer have a POV character, for several reasons:

Nate, previously the POV character, is dead.

As it is, by mid-season 3 of leverage Nate was no longer a POV character. This is, coincidentally, the point where the leverage writers realized they had four other characters in the main cast they could do something with, and in-universe, Nate accepted that he was a thief, not a special Good Man.

Sophie is sort of a POV character for the first episode of the revival, but only for the first few minutes. Afterwards, the series settles into the groove of seasons 3-5, i.e., the entire crew is our POV. We know our crew, and we love them as is.

Narratively, however, Redemption insists on positing Harry as the POV character, because it is his redemption we are pursuing most vehemently. And I think they really relied on us already knowing the actor - I’ve never seen him in anything before, so to me he was a completely fresh face and they put almost no effort into selling him to me. Beyond being competent and consistently mildly baffled by the antics of the leverage crew, I honestly don’t know who this man is by the end of EIGHT episodes with him. I have a much better handle on Breanna by the end of 1(a), and I can tell you I knew all five of the original leverage crew better by the end of the first episode of the original series than I do Harry. What’s the name of his daughter, John Rogers. Is he still married. How old is the daughter. Why is none of this worth mentioning. Give him a sense of humor that isn’t reacting to other people’s shenanigans. I’m so frustrated. It’s bad writing.

I did manage to grow to like Harry by the end, but I’m pretty sure this is down to Noah Wyle’s charismatic portrayal of an under-developed character, at least partially. And I never stopped being frustrated at not knowing who this man is at all.

The two highlights of the season are undoubtedly episodes five and six. Episode five was the first time I felt like the episode was more than a collection of good moments between the main cast and mediocre moments between the main cast and also the main plot. The issues with pacing and tone that I suffered through for most of the season were mostly non-existent in ep5 and 6, and at least in episode 5 I attribute that to the pared down cast. They had time to focus not only on our actual characters - Sophie, Parker, Breanna - but also on the case. This is the only client from 1(a) I am going to remember next week without googling it first, mark my words.

Episode six worked for the exact opposite reason - it completely disregarded the client and plot and immersed itself in the characters. Breanna gets a moment to shine, but everybody else gets their bits and I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the script that was most fun to write. The characters felt natural, real, and captured the found-family dynamic that’s been missing all season for the first time.

While episode 2 is the weakest episode, I don’t actually have much to say about it. I am disappointed in episode 8. For a mid-season finale, I really expected them to do something. Instead, it was an episode about Nate Ford that copped out of being about Nate Ford (both with fake-Nate and with the new version of him being relayed to us). I would have told the writers to give that energy back to episode 1 and write an episode that’s about anybody who isn’t Harry, oh my God. I know I said I grew to like him but so many episodes were about Harry. He’s the newbie! Why didn’t Hardison get an episode that was actually about him, considering he was only around for two episodes? Why does Eliot have to be the butt of the joke when the theme of the series should directly tie back to him in a much more meaningful way? The last episode parodies their own tagline by saying Eliot isn’t just a hitter, but it deftly avoids noticing that they’ve turned him into nothing more than very muscly comic relief, including in that very episode!

Also, I hated the Marshal. Eliot actively looked uncomfortable around her.

tl;dr

The season took a while, that’s definitely true. But it did find its footing eventually, and by the halfway mark of 1(a) it finally felt cohesive again. The characters were played fantastically even when they weren’t well-written, and if nothing else, the humor landed every time. It still has its kinks and problems to work out, but if you look at it as a brand new show rather than a continuation of one that went off the air over eight years ago, it’s actually doing rather well. I’m choosing to judge it in both lights - according to its own standards, it establishes its identity in episode five; according to Leverage standards, it establishes its connection to its roots in episode six. Either way, I thoroughly enjoyed 1(a), and continue to have high hopes for 1(b).

fic writing will commence in three, two, one...

#leverage #leverage meta #leverage redemption #leverage ot3 #parker leverage #alec hardison #sophie devereaux #eliot spencer #breanna casey #harry wilson #mine

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desire-tenderness · 4 years ago

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𝔹𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕖

{This is a fanfic dreamed and desired. All I write about is my feelings, sensations and desires. TEXT BY: L.M} Day 1 - Embark on the dazzle. October 9, 2023, Monday. I am exhausted, the recording will begin on Tuesday at 11 am. I think I slept only 3 hours and 20 minutes or I’m just kicking it out loud. This was a very tiring trip I confess. Maybe because it was almost a change of two months and a week. On the bright side, the production has provided a nice apartment for me to live in. My new home is beautiful and comfortable, one block away from Crescent Street, here in Montreal - Canada. Honestly, I can’t believe I’m finally having the opportunity to work with Xavier Dolan, I left my family in Brazil to embark on this dream, I already miss them. I should tell you that I have no idea of the cast that will be on this project, but the script looks fabulous. Before I embarked on this opportunity, I realized a portion of the dream. I and 7 other members of the team dined with Dolan last Thursday, debated the first decupagents and agendas. We had already read the script before the meeting, is it a low-budget experimental drama, and honestly? I lost my breath. I’m not in the position of art director I’ve always dreamed of, but I’m in the position where I have full knowledge and experience. Curious, I am not trembling with nerves, I am completely at peace with this realization. However, very anxious. We’re less than two hours away from reuniting in Saint-Laurent with the cast of "A race by Joseph". [.... ] - Less than two hours later. Okay, I’m about to get my guts out from all the nerves. I’ve heard of some names on the list of actors, including Troye Sivan, Vincent Cassel, and Louise Coldefy. The team is sensational and fucking, Xavier is like a master for me. I need to make these days my best college. I’m at home/rental number six, it’s wonderful. I can see two cars coming through the window, and "God bless me so that Suzanne Clément is in this cast" [Spoiler, I wasn’t, I had to accept], I think I’m going to have an anxiety attack, I need to splash water on my face. I lost count of how many times I filled my hands with water and threw it in my face, I needed to understand that I was really living this moment. I came out of the bathroom apprehensive. Céline handed me a cup of tea mix of Sage, Eucalyptus, Lemon Peel and said "Hey, relax, I’ll see you in the living room.. ah, one more thing, don’t freak out". I feel a chill creeping all over my body as I walk through the door frame. Everyone was waiting for me in the room so we could debate the first two weeks of the recording. I could feel my legs swaying to the point of not having enough sustenance to stand. Timothée Chalamet was sitting on the arm of Dolan’s armchair in silence, reading what would be the 4°page of some document. Quickly he gets up and presents himself squeezing my hand gently. Silence has taken over the environment, I don’t remember my name. [I remembered! ] It was remarkable how difficult he was to pronounce it, it made it all very comical, in seconds we were all laughing. At that time, other cast members performed, but my thoughts were so far away that I don’t know if I missed any important information. [Damn, how many questions are going through my head right now? I don’t even have control over them. Stop! Focus, your future depends on this delivery. ]

[.... ] With the passing of the hours I was reasonably more relaxed and with an unparalleled feeling of gratitude for what was happening to me. We discussed the script, much of it together, the day was very productive. I kept looking at him, he’s so funny and authentic, I feel comfortable now. Obviously we wouldn’t be friends, he wouldn’t notice an assistant director [even though I’m the director’s right-hand man]. The team will be dining with the cast soon, it’s 5:47 pm and I haven’t been able to confirm my presence at this dinner. What’s my problem?! Celine: You’ll go, right? We’ll go home together and unpack. Me: Oh Céli, I don’t think I will. I have a lot to pack, tomorrow starts the recordings and I want to do everything right. Celine: No, you are not going to organize things by yourself. Nor has dinner there in the house, let’s eat please, I’m starving. Think you need to catch up! Me: Relax Celi, I’ll do things in my time, have a wine while I cook something and sleep early. Look, Wednesday we won’t record.. We can go downtown and get a quick look at the city, what do you think? Celine: You’re hopeless. Well, I’ll tell you about it. Arriving at the apartment I opened all the windows, and went to cook thinking about what the following days would be like. I decided then that I should not intensify anything, it could disrupt me at work and I can’t let my impulsive Aryan side get out of hand. I decided to go to the disco and see what the last song the host of the apartment heard. Well, did you start playing Nick Drake’s Pink Moon and honestly? I can’t let the pink moon get me. Fuck, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life, it’s as fascinating as on screens or in photographs. [Stop! Concentrate. ] [...] 00:01 am The wine bottle is 98% empty now. I have not yet fallen asleep and Celine is already in her 8th deepest sleep. I need to sleep. She said that they were so energized, that the team’s relationship is great and that she ate a delicious Poutine, I found it very courageous for those who will spend the whole day recording tomorrow. [I’m laughing alone while imagining a disaster] I will sleep and tomorrow will be the first day of my life. I swear I was born now and suddenly everything changed. Things will be built from now on. Timothée Chalamet? I hear you’re a good actor, I don’t know you. Good night and see you soon.

Part 2

Day 50 - And I’m probably happy, could it be different? November 27, 2023, Friday. There are times I do not write in this "virtual diary", my days are super busy. Today we finish the work a little earlier, we finish the movie! I think it’s 4:00 now. Right, and why did I come back to write? Well, I wanted to forget the feeling that took me completely 50 days ago. But today something has happened that does not allow me to escape any feeling that exists here. Louise is severely ill, Christ! We’re at the end of the shoot, she’s Timothée’s date, missing four takes of a kiss between them for her last acting scene. Dolan needed two different angles and he didn’t have a voice voice available so suddenly. Louise and I have very similar hair and what I feared went through Dolan’s mind. "Be the Double" he said. Yeah, Chalamet and I kissed today, and, hell, there was no professionalism on my part or for a millisecond, I feel terrible! I felt like I had been thrown out of a plane and I was in a free fall. My heart had never accelerated so much. My fantasy almost made me believe that one of the butterflies in my stomach was coming out of my mouth 1 minute later. Holy shit! [What if it was not reciprocal? Of course it was not, silly! We are friends. ] I’m so pissed about it, I’ll tell them why.

All these days I’ve really become friends with Timothée, can you believe it? I’ve always been very afraid to talk to him because he doesn’t find me interesting enough. But we have an unusual tune. We had a lot of coffee together, a lot of claquettes I hit due to recording mistakes, we went out with the guys several times, even "alone" and that’s okay, we talked about Brazil and he made sure to go there anytime, I even smoked one of his cigarettes, even hating cigarettes. We were talking about how funny Vincent is and how amazing he is, and we were talking about how they were both working for the first time with Xavier Dolan. We laughed at stupid things until the belly hurt and even bet race in the parking lot next to the location. [He won, of course, has huge legs].

One day we were together cutting fruit for the rest of the team on the set as we talked about Georges de La Tour, "That ordinary painter" I said, and he gave a delicious laugh. He’s much simpler than I thought he could be, carries an admirable humility. And I swear, it was fine, because I was fascinated by that friendship and I could feel that it would last for many years. I’ve learned to deal with your stunning beauty. I liked the way he accepted me and had fun with me. He didn’t think I was silly. I was working for a salary and a bright future, and suddenly I felt I had won the lottery until that moment after the kiss. I feel like I’m failing at my resolve. To finish screwing with my mind, Celine told me something that made me much more sensitive about a feeling that, I swear, once again, I had managed to forget. Although I often fantasized that a mood was going on, I knew it was impossible. He definitely sees me as the cool girl makes him laugh and that he can truly trust. Celine: Look. I, for recklessness, overheard Timothée talking to Troye about you. I did not hear enough but I must say that your tone of voice was of pure indignation... Troye said, "She’s the kind of girl you want so much, you feel sorry for". Me: God damn it, did he hate my kiss?! I’m going to die, Celine! Troye clearly should be making fun of the situation. Who am I supposed to show up at Dolan’s tomorrow for dinner? Celine: Calm friend, you are traveling.. I have noticed things and I will not open my mouth. Everything will be fine, seriously.. kiss the chalamet? How can you be angry about that? [laughed] By the way, tomorrow after dinner, I’ve arranged to spend the night at Julie’s, do you want to go? Me: Oh.. I’m not in the mood to hear Julie talk all night about the new vegan recipes, sorry, pal. Celine: Okay.. I won’t bring you nice things. [My phone vibrated. I was reluctant to look, but it could be work.. ] Text Msg Timothée: I hope you’re okay, you seemed strange going away. Want to talk? By the way, you did well in tonight’s performance, you should try harder. Me: Says my angel, how are you? I am well, of course I am. [laughs nervously and it was noticeable] I was just nervous to have to act for Dolan and know that I will see myself on a movie screen, even if at closed angles. By the way, Mr. Chalamet, thank you very much. I have the seal of approval that interests me hahah Msg of text Timothée: I like it. See you tomorrow? Me: Yes, of course, until tomorrow! Msg of text Timothée: [video uploaded]

Part 3

Day 51 - Ecstasy, landscape of the soul. November 29th, 2023, Sunday morning. I don’t know how to write about how last night went.. I was upset, but I remember everything. I won’t be able to keep this journal after that I’ll tell. We were all gathered at Dolan’s house, drinking and laughing a lot, toasting to finish this incredible project. I already felt completely dizzy and with the warm body, things kept spinning in my head, it was so beautiful. He wore a leather jacket over the green sweatshirt, had a golf cap (Odd Future) hanging on one of the pants straps where his belt was, the black jeans almost on his knee and a red vans, and that hair.. that hair! It’s like a restless ocean. I was wishing to walk across the room and kiss him again with all the intensity that belongs to me, he would like it this time. My body was on fire, suddenly I was frozen, it’s coming toward me. I knew I could spoil any conversation by being totally random and awkward, I was dying of shame in advance. Timothée: Are you happy? Me: Sure, congratulations! You did a great job, I’m very proud of all of you. Timothée: Thank you, but none of this would have been the same if you weren’t on the team, right? Me: Right! [Cheers] [Silence] Timothée: What are you thinking right now? Me: Who you are, Where you’re from, don’t care what you Did as long as you love me..[I started singing As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys, really?] Timothée: Oh my God! [He laughed almost for the world to hear]. Are you going to Julie’s with Céline? There’s going to be a vegan class. I’d like a pizza, okay? Me: Look.. I also wanted a pizza instead of vegan food.. But I’m getting dizzy and I think I’m gonna go home and do my drunken show in the shower. Timothée: Ah.. Right, you’re dizzy, but you still know how many fingers you have here? [He did an 8 with his fingers] Me: Yes, of course. I’m fine, man, I’m weak but not that weak. Give me a skateboard there! [I screamed, and they didn’t take me seriously] Timothée: So.. we can go for a coffee to break the alcohol and fill the stomach with a piece of pizza, what do you think? Me: Wooah! Come on, send world pizza! [I couldn’t say no, I was completely taken. ] We got to what used to be a kind of blinker-light coffee, it had a super-hot vibe. We sat down and made the request, we laughed drunk and said nothing that made sense, I felt our friendship alive again. However, the silence and the exchange of looks came, so we could hear the music that played in the background. It was "And I Love Her" by the Beatles”. Suddenly he began to sing. Timothée: "She gives me Everything and Tenderly. The Kiss my Lover brings, she brings to me and I love her." Me: Yeah.. beautiful music. You sing over and over again better than me. When did you start playing music? [My hands started sweating] Timothée: [he laughed] Are you all right? Me: Timmy. .ah.. I think I’m going home to take another shower, rest and call my family, I don’t know. Timothée: Okay, I’ll accompany you, I can’t let you go back alone so late. Me: You don’t need my angel. I’m a ninja! [I made the shameful gesture of a martial coup and tripped. The truth is I wanted him to insist] Timothée: Without that [laughed] let’s go!

We got to the apartment, he came up with me and put his coat on the couch. I offered him water, am I pathetic? He said he did not want to, but that if possible, he would like to stay. I felt as if we were talking by telepathy, I am not crazy. He feels the same. I said he could stay, even super apprehensive. I took two cigarettes from Kumbaya that I made on Tuesday and shouted from the room "let’s get some air on the balcony while we smoke!?". Upon returning to the room, he had put Cigarettes after sex to play, silently. Nothing but the music. Breaths. Another dose of silence. My body pumped blood with so much speed, [says something] I thought. He touched my right hand and looked at me. Those green eyes made me feel warm inside as never before. I got up the courage to pull him to the balcony that led to the fire escape. The sky was beautiful and the wind touching our faces was like a sky giveaway, I needed that fresh night air. Timothée: Do you need me to say it? I can say it. Me: I know what you’re going to say and I’m terrified. You want me too. Timothée: I want to. You make me feel good. I feel my presence truly when I share a moment with you. "Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m going to feel in my life. And from now on, I won’t feel anything new. " Me: I promise that one day I will feel that everything is right. but it feels so wrong. Man, I feel like I’m living a fanfic, and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and none of this ever happened, or worse, if it’s real, our friendship being compromised by what’s possibly going to happen here. He put his hands on my face, kissed my forehead. Timothée: The heart is not like a box that fills, L. It expands in size, the more you love someone. I’m different from you. It doesn’t make me love you any less. It actually makes me love you more. I want you. Me: Right.. We are here only briefly, and at this moment I want to allow myself joy. I want that, Timothée. And I promise that one day I will feel like everything is fine. He lovingly bowed to touch his lips to mine. Feeling those soft lips against mine, it was almost like an apocalyptic sensation, the world could end right there, would have no problem. We kissed as we entered through the large window of the room, the first pieces of clothing filling the lonely floor of the room. The music Sunsetz conducted our intimate dance. The words "you have to do the right thing, do the right thing" started to disappear from my head.

I feel overflowing out of the body, sensitive, I am under the effect of exaltation, very intense feelings of joy, pleasure, admiration, reverent awe... Timothée. I truly love him. We are lying on the living room floor, apparently wrapped in a curtain that has been disastrously removed. Timothée, his breath is hot, the sound coming out of his mouth shivers my body. We were like the painting of Egon Schiele - Gli Amanti (L'Abbraccio).

Blackout. Light. The voice of an angel reaches my ear. My eyes open. He looked at me in silence, I could smell his mildly sweet citrus smell all over the room. Its aroma stimulates my sensations. Timothée: I’ll make you a cup of coffee. I’ll be careful with the amount of sugar, it’ll be just the way you like it. Keep lying down, angel. Geez, what happens now? I don’t know, he doesn’t know, you don’t know. Anyway, I feel complete.

#timothée chalamet #tchalamet #timothee chalamet #timothee #fanfic #art #xavier dolan #cigarettes after sex #the beatles #nick drake #backstreet boys #movie #music #bright are the stars that shine

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laurenhufflepuff2 · 3 years ago

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A list of fandoms I'm in (in no particular order, will probably be updated regularly. Some fandoms are more intense and some are more casual. Depending on the fandom, I could go on and on about fandom topics for HOURS. Let's get into it!)

Harry Potter, Disney, Marvel, DC comics, Miraculous Ladybug, Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra, Star Wars, Literature, Winx Club, Nintendo, Minecraft, Little Witch Academia, Voltron, Coraline

Details:

Harry Potter- I got into Harry Potter in 7th grade and now I am the resident expert in my family and in my friend group. I read all the books, watched all the movies (notably the British version), and I've seen the Fantastic Beasts films as well. I've also read Tales of Beedle the Bard (the Warlock's Hairy Heart was traumatizing) along with the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them textbook (plus an updated edition). I also read The Cursed Child script and while I mean no hate to anyone that liked it, I hated what it did to the canon. I am in Hufflepuff with some Ravenclaw tendencies (I took the Pottermore quiz 3 times, 2 out of 3 I got Hufflepuff, the other time was Ravenclaw). I had a pottermore account and I was so upset when it got converted to the Wizarding World page. I cosplayed Hermione in 7th grade complete with British accent and even monologued as her for a talent show (classmates and teachers would recognize me as the Hermione girl all the way through high school). I was obsessed and I still love it even if J.K. Rowling has gone off the deep end on Twitter... yeah... my favorite character is Hermione but I also relate to Luna

Disney- there's so much that goes into the Disney part of my fandom list. I'm excluding Marvel and Star Wars from this part as they were originally separate entities before Disney got the rights to them. I have seen almost every animated Disney film ever and often use random movie quotes in conversation. My favorite villain is Maleficent, my favorite princess is Ariel (followed by Belle, Rapunzel, and Anna). I relate to so many of the characters. I'm not sure who my favorite Pixar character is though (I love Violet, Sadness, Dory, and Piper (from the short)). My favorite Disney fairy is Fawn. My favorite characters overall are Ariel and Stitch. Disney is definitely on the list as one of my biggest obsessions. My favorite movies are Lilo and Stitch, the Little Mermaid, Inside Out, Alice in Wonderland (original), and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

Marvel- I mostly get my Marvel exposure through the MCU, other movies, and animated TV shows. I have difficulty reading graphic novels so most of my comic book knowledge comes from friends, posts, or wikis. My favorite characters are Spider-Man, Captain America, Peggy Carter, and Scarlet Witch. I also like Gwenpool, Deadpool, Spider-Gwen/ Ghost-Spider, Venom, Squirrel Girl, Daredevil, Mantis, Gamora, Black Widow, Iron Man, Thor, Loki, Bucky, Black Panther, and most MCU characters. Out of the X-men I really like Professor X, Wolverine, Mystique, Magneto, Nightcrawler, and Quicksilver (either version- MCU or Fox).

DC- this was the franchise I was more familiar with growing up but again, graphic novels aren't easy for me to read so most of my knowledge comes from information pages about the comics or from tv/movies. My earliest experience with DC came from the 60s Batman series, with Catwoman and Robin being my favorites. I also watched the Wonder Woman series from the 70s and a handful of CW shows, my favorite of which being the Flash and Arrow. I also managed to watch all 5 seasons of the Teen Titans Cartoon Network series from 2003. With that being said, my favorite characters are Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Flash, Batman, Nightwing/Robin (Dick Grayson), Green Arrow, Starfire, Raven, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Alfred. I also like most of the bat family, and when it comes to CW I LOVE Caitlin Snow/Killer Frost and Cisco.

Miraculous- this is one of my guilty fandoms but since this is Tumblr I'm not too worried about it. I love Marinette and I relate to her on an astoundingly deep level (minus the stalking and obsession with potential lovers, that's creepy). If I had a miraculous, I'd probably want the Ladybug one, but the Cat miraculous, fox miraculous, and snake miraculous are good too. My favorite character is Marinette/Ladybug.

Atla/Tlok- I jumped on the avatar bandwagon just when it was starting to get popular, so I managed to get through the series before the memes took over everything. Same with Tlok, although i couldn't completely avoid the spoilers for that when i started it. I've been wanting to get into the comics because of the short story comics I've read, they seem easier to read than superhero comics. My favorite characters are Aang, Katara, Ty Lee, Iroh, Korra, Jinora, Asami, Suki, Appa, Momo, Naga, and Pabu. I also like Sokka, Mai, Zuko, Lin, Kuvira, Varrick, Zhu Lee, and Azula. I feel really sorry for her and while I understand that a redemption arc would undermine the importance of her corruption arc, I still wish she could have one. I would love to be a waterbender or an airbender... maybe a waterbender raised in the air nation? Obviously, being the avatar itself would be awesome. The show has taught me a lot of great lessons and put a lot of stuff into perspective for me.

Star Wars- oh boy, talking about this one is dangerous. I've seen firsthand the horrors of the Star Wars fandom but then again no one will probably see this anyway so... I've seen all the movies and I remember watching the clone wars series with my brother when I was younger but we fell wayyy behind and it's taking us forever to get back into it. I've also seen the Mandalorian and quite enjoyed it. I like the prequels unironically, in fact, the prequels are some of my favorite movies. I especially like how they switched from lightsabers being heavy weapons to light weapons that can be used for all kinds of tricks that make for epic battles like the ones we see in Revenge of the Sith. The sequels were fun to watch but when I would analyze them along side their predecessors, I came to the conclusion that, for me, they were good to watch but did not do anything good for the rest of the franchise. My favorite characters are prequels/clone wars Obi Wan and Anakin, Padme, Ashoka, Leia, R2D2, BB-8, R4-P17, the Mandalorian (Din Djarin), and Grogu. If I had a lightsaber I'd want it to be blue, but when I was little I got a purple one like Mace Windu because it was closer to pink and I was into pink at the time. I still have that lightsaber and none of my friends have a purple one so it's one of my flexes. I feel like I wouldn't make a good jedi because of attachments being forbidden, so I'd probably become a grey jedi.

Literature- this is a broad term I use to cover all the random books and stories I liked reading and have studied. So we have Shakespeare (Macbeth, Much Ado About Nothing, Romeo and Juliet), The Great Gatsby (bored while reading, loved to analyze), Grendel (HATED reading, loved to analyze, Grendel really needed a hug and a friend), The Crucible, Fahrenheit 451, Dark Life (+ the sequel Riptide, both are by Kat Falls good reads, sci-fi and kind of dystopian), The Once and Future King

Winx Club- I think the show is trashy but I still love watching it. I haven't been able to get through season 6 though and I hated what they did with season 8 and Fate: the Winx Saga. My favorite character is Bloom along with Stella and Flora. I prefer rai to nick. My favorite transformations are magic winx, enchantix, and harmonix. My favorite member of the Trix is Icy followed by Darcy. My favorite Pixies are Chatta and Lockette.

Nintendo- mainly Pokémon above all else, followed by Animal Crossing. I have also played (mostly as player 2 or just never beat or watched my brother play) mario games, legend of zelda, pikmin, and kirby. Games I haven't played but I just liked the characters/the lore and probably learned about through Super Smash Bros. are Fire Emblem (Lucina mostly), Metroid (Samus and baby metroid), and Kid Icarus. Pokémon is where I'm most knowledgeable but you'll most likely beat me in battle. I am however great at MarioKart and I always destroy my friends at it. Terrible at fighting games though.

Minecraft- I like playing this casually. Sure, I'll play for hours and hours on end for months, but I prefer to stay exclusively in peaceful when playing Survival mode and I don't make anything too ambitious in Creative mode. I like to write, so sometimes I'll make a rough layout of the settings of my stories in different worlds. I prefer interior design and decorating when building, and when in survival mode I focus more on mining and gathering while my brother works on ambitious building projects. I just bring him the raw materials and furnish the interior when he finishes the outside.

Little Witch Academia- this takes up a smaller portion of my fandom list because there were only 2 seasons and a couple movies and I watched the whole series years ago, but I still enjoy it. At one point I wanted to cosplay Akko, and I loved the nod at Twilight through the Nightfall series. And I especially liked the twist that Shiny Chariot was Ursula, which I suspected for some time. The blend between magic and technology was fun to see, but I was so sad that the series ended RIGHT when Akko finally showed signs of magic proficiency. Also, Shiny Chariot being the reason Akko couldn't do magic was heartbreaking.

Voltron- this takes up a much smaller portion of my fandom list mainly because I haven't even finished it. I know hardly anything about Transformers aside from the Bumblebee movie so to me I just watch it for fun. It reminds me of power rangers, star wars, and star trek, and then there's just a transformer insert. But I don't know anything about Transformers so maybe the show is more rooted in canon than I think.

Coraline- I am in a love-hate relationship with Coraline. I have watched the movie several times, I've read the book, I've watched hours of theories and analyses on youtube, I've watched behind the scenes videos by Laika, and I even wrote a script for a fan film parody. I am amazed at how original the story is and how impressive the stop motion animation is but I also have recurring nightmares from it and it scares me/creeps me out to the max. If anyone asks what my scariness limit is, it's definitely Coraline.

#fandoms #about me #harry potter #disney #dc #marvel #avatar the last airbender #the legend of korra #star wars #miraculous ladybug #literature #winx club #nintendo #minecraft #pokémon #little witch academia #voltron #coraline

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raimagnolia · 3 years ago

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Spoilers for Venom: Let There Be Carnage

A review because I really need to get my thoughts in order after watching that. I was looking really forward to this movie– and yes, I was looking forward to it not because I wanted the focus to be on their bond from the comics. But now Ive finish watching it and I’m just left feeling really disturbed. Disturbed by what I’ve watched but most disturbed by how everyone on here has been praising this movie.

Ironically, I think that the sequel really laid heavy into the old “a man is getting beaten up, how funny” kind of slapstick humor. Sometimes, I see people complain about it and it’s not within context, but the character in this movie straight up says it’s abusive. And what’s worse is it’s not just hurting Eddie, But he purposely destroys everything Eddie cares about and loves during their break up.

And then it’s so short, but we don’t even really see Eddie wishing for Venom back! It’s entirely one-sided with Venom wishing Eddie was there but Eddie’s, like, watching a football game.

And then for some reason, it’s that same character who has to apologize? The victim?

A lot of the script didn’t really make sense, either. It kept jumping from plot point to plot point without any clear adhesion, but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I don’t really get why many people kept calling Eddie a loser, a cancer, someone incapable of love or being loved— Where is all this hostility coming from? Because it’s never actually explained. At the very end of the last movie, Eddie had become successful. It’s almost like something happened that made him where he was before, but it was never told, it was never explained, it was never shown.

Last thing, it’s not that important, but... I definitely preferred how the side characters were in the previous movie? This movie kinda did what we feared and just randomly made Anne and Dan assholes. Once again, so really disliking Eddie for.... What again? It...just wasn’t explained. The writers just really wanted to isolate this guy.

I definitely get what people were saying about how this movie seemed to be a bit sporadic, and how it’s all about Venom vs Carnage... But... it’s...also not about Carnage...

But also it’s not about Eddie and Venom forming a deeper bond either.

At one point Eddie literally tries to kill himself in order to get away from Venom, and it doesn’t work because Venom stops him.

I think the saddest thing is that, despite everything I’ve just mentioned, the moral of the story, with Anne nodding away the entire time, is that Eddie is nothing without Venom. He’s a loser. (But we don’t know why) He is hated. (What we don’t know why) He’s unlovable. (But we don’t know why) And to repeat, in case anyone missed it, that he’s nothing without Venom.

Literally the two serial killers have a better relationship and respect for one another than our two main characters...

I don’t know. It’s like no one understands how to write camaraderie anymore. I guess that’s why The Old Guard was such a nice breath of refreshing air.

#Venom #venom: let there be carnage #venom spoilers #Yeah I’m sorry. Get Woody Harrelson a brace cuz he fucking CARRIED THIS MOVIE #I pretty much enjoyed every time he was on scene. Which is incredible because I did not expect much of him at all.#I cannot emphasize how I did not go to that movie for Woody Harrelson. Yet I left being really glad he was in that movie #Here’s the thing. The relationship venom and Eddie have in this movie would’ve made way more sense for the first movie. But not the sequel.#if you like that dynamic I'm not going to stop you. I'm mostly concerned because everyone in fandom keeps talking about how loving they are #which means people are either going to start making more AUs or distorting what happened in the movie

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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

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@fuyunoakegata

#reblogging now that I've actually had time to sit down and give this proper attention and take it all in#and damn i love that you managed to get through all of this and never veer off topic into Deathwing#:)

*snorts* You give me too much credit. Deathwing was absolutely on the to do list for that post, he was just in the part I never got to because I hit my ‘oh right, physiological needs are a thing’ threshold and was like fuck it, I’ll do that later.

Kalen’s Razor: Never attribute to willpower what can be better explained by him just running out of steam.

But I mean tbh, he was in the part I delayed for another time because I didn’t want to like.....shortchange the importance of that part and how much attention and thought I gave it. Because like, I don’t actually think he’s off topic at all. I think he’s absolutely central to the topic, and in fact, he’s part of the thing I TRULY despise about this whole mess of a story and DC’s actions in regards to it. Faaaaaar more than their failure to call it rape or the victim-blaming, and you KNOW how much I love me a good ‘how dare they’ victim-blaming rant. So.

Still don’t quite have the time or spoons to dig into all that just yet, but I mean.....I think it definitely also needs to be acknowledged that Mirage was raped by Dick’s future timeline evil doppelganger like, right after she did it and before the wedding issue even.....with the timing being really sketchy. Like, its literally just a handful of issues after her rape of him.....in fact, given the timeline publishing works according to and taking into account the lagtime between scripting/art and then to printers and then actual publication....its pretty damn clear they had to have started writing THAT storyline basically the month AFTER Mirage’s reveal that it was her Dick slept with hit stands. Ie, the month they would have started hearing reactions to that story.

So like.....there’s pretty much no way in hell that the Deathwing story WASN’T written specifically in response to that earlier story, or more specifically to REACTIONS to that....which leaves literally only two real options for WHY they would have felt the need for that. One would be as a ‘just desserts’ type thing, like if it was meant as a punishment - which ugh, no, that would not be any better for a whole host of reasons I don’t have time for right now.....but tbh, that doesn’t really track because if that was the reason for that direction you would assume they WOULD bring up what she did to Dick again as relevant. Like that direction literally only makes sense IF you WANT to focus on what she did and why it was fucked up. Which....they clearly didn’t, since they never did that.

Which leaves the only other real likely option....that it was done in an attempt to drum up sympathy for her character and distract from what she’d done, as for whatever reason DC was still interested in keeping her as a hero and eventually a full time Titan, and they’d only realized after the fact that where they had previously had taken her was now making that damn near impossible without ‘damage control.’ And I deeply resent the fuck out of that, and using rape as a ploy to drum up sympathy for a character, particularly one who only needs sympathy drummed up because of doing basically the same damn thing, like....ugh. Fuck you DC. Its cheap, and manipulative, and compounds the refusal to address Dick’s rape as rape now juxtaposed to the rape of his rapist, which in contrast they have ZERO problem addressing as rape.

But unfortunately, its really hard to see any other possible reason they would have gone that direction since it marked the point at which they REVISITED the others’ reactions to what happened with her and Dick and had Kory, who had previously expressed forgiveness and more of a focus on her anger at Mirage....THIS was the point where Kory reversed course and characters en masse started only addressing what Dick ‘had done’ as an active act of cheating. As well as being the point past which no character again brought up to Mirage any mention of her role in that, and the focus around her switched entirely to the ongoing storyline of her pregnancy due to Deathwing’s rape and his ensuing fixation on her and the baby, with a TON of focus on his obsession with HIS unborn child....all of which is basically tailor made to keep the narrative context around her actively sympathetic and further and further distant from what had happened with Dick. Culminating of course in the point where Julienne was born, Deathwing was in a coma and never talked about again, and Mirage left the team and the book to go raise Julienne.

Except there’s one thing that has driven me fucking bonkers for years, because its the part that never made ANY sense and seems entirely contradictory with their seeming desire to never actually address what happened with her and Dick and keep her at least as firmly separate and distanced in readers’ minds....from him and her actions there as possible.

Like, if that was the goal, I would THINK that they would go out of their way to leave as little wiggle room as possible as to who Julienne’s father actually was. I mean, right? If you don’t want people ever thinking or focusing on what she did to Dick and her connection to HIM rather than Deathwing.....I would think the LAST thing you would want is for people - characters OR readers - to have any reason to doubt that Deathwing was the baby’s father. Instead, its like they went out of their way TO make wiggle room for that very thing? Which makes NO sense.

But that’s exactly what they did. What happened with Dick and then what happened with Deathwing were mere issues apart and given the context of everything else happening, was at MOST a few weeks apart. Which isn’t a big deal, logistically, until you factor in that when they did reveal Mirage’s pregnancy a good twenty (maybe more) issues or so after THAT point.....they made a point to reveal that Mirage had used her powers to hide her pregnancy for some time. With it specifically pointed out that she went out of her way to hide it from her teammates as well as Deathwing. Like.....the ONLY thing that particular plot point really accomplished OR was ever brought up in context of.....was in terms of how it literally made it impossible to ever know for sure how long Mirage actually spent pregnant....ie, when exactly she got pregnant.

And THEN, on TOP of that......after Deathwing being firmly established as Dick’s future timeline counterpart for actual YEARS at that point, real world time....at the very end of his appearances, once in his coma and right about when Mirage gave birth.....they for whatever reason decided to reveal that actually, Deathwing had never been any version of Dick Grayson at all. That he was only brainwashed to THINK he had the backstory he had...by whomever had selected him for how similar he appeared to the real Dick Grayson and then surgically altered him to further the impression.

And this was pretty much the last time the pre-Flashpoint version of Deathwing ever appeared or was even referenced, just kept at S.T.A.R. Labs in his coma from that point on and never revisited.....which again makes it like....WHY? Why go to that trouble? Like especially because if you DIDN’T actually want anyone ever really being like ‘hey has anyone ever considered Julienne might be Dick’s? Like do we know for sure, like, the two events DID happen awfully close together”.....like, if that’s what you DON’T want ever happening, then it actually works BETTER if Deathwing is Dick’s evil alternate counterpart? Because then there’s literally no element that can ever be brought up or introduced to suggest that Julienne is actually Dick Grayson’s daughter.....that CAN’T be dismissed with “well yes, and Deathwing WAS, technically, Dick Grayson, that explains that.” It effectively makes the question of who is Julienne’s true father impossible to ever conclusively answer.....which in turn basically makes it an irrelevant question. There’s no reason to ask that question instead of just accepting the narrative that its Deathwing....because what’s the point when the only answer that can ever be found is still always going to be “Dick Grayson” either way?

But making a point to reveal that Deathwing ISN’T a version of Dick and never was....is what actually ALLOWS for doubt and creates a reason to make the real Dick Grayson relevant to the subject of Mirage and Julienne again....AFTER the comics just spent the last thirty or so issues doing every other thing possible to make Dick IRRELEVANT to their storyline. Because only NOW, after that specific reveal, is there an actual reason characters might some day revisit the matter and actually raise the question of Julienne’s parentage....because only NOW does it become a question that would require a conclusive answer of one or the other, Dick Grayson or Deathwing...where a definitive answer that is NOT Deathwing, is actually a viable prospect.

I just....*pulls hair and eats it* I don’t understand what they were going for. Its entirely counter intuitive, and both elements - the pregnancy timeline and Deathwing specifically not being a genetic double of the real Nightwing - are entirely SUPERFICIAL to the entire storyline they created for Mirage and Julienne. There is absolutely ZERO reason to bring those things up or focus on them at all, nothing is added to the story BY bringing those up. And literally every other thing they did with both Dick and Mirage over the course of like, the entire last couple years of Mirage’s regular appearances before she left the team to raise Julienne....every other thing they did follows a clear pattern of deliberately putting as much distance between the two and their shared storyline as possible....

Except for these two specific details that they never needed to put in and ONLY serve one singular purpose: to throw the otherwise clear picture and timeline into question, and bring the possibility of Dick being the true father BACK into the equation that they’d just spent umpteen issues writing him OUT of.

Ugh. Its one of those things that’s always gonna bug me even though its never going to matter at this point. Hell, even with the Mirage story obliquely mentioned recently in the Batman B&W story and continuity being open season, like, I’ll be pretty surprised if they ever actually bring Mirage back into the picture, but I’d be stunned if they ever even reference Julienne again. Like, as far as canon goes at least, its literally never gonna matter, but its such a weird unnecessary little discrepancy that I’ve always just wanted to track down one of the writers involved and be like....”can you walk me through that? I really just want to understand what your logic was there” lolol.

#rape tw #yes that was me still not actually digging into it yet #shut up #you know I can dig deeper than that dont act surprised

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maybemockingbird · 3 years ago

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Anybody Out There?

I have NO idea how long it’s been since I’ve actually logged into my Tumblr, but looking at all of these memories, the things I was into years ago, is both surreal and embarrassing. I had given this place up, I had no real need for it and it took up a lot of my time. I’m 29 now. A lot of things have changed, and I’ve re-discovered my passion for writing and comics. Since this username is tied to literally everything else I have that shares the MaybeMockingbird/MayBMockingbird moniker, I figured I’d log in, clean it up a bit, and post an update. I have no real plans to be on Tumblr frequently, it wasn’t a healthy place for me, but for those of you who still hang around just know that have big plans, big dreams, and I’m aiming to make them happen.

Here’s what’s going on...

1: A week after my job shut down due to the pandemic, I looked at a few notes on my laptop that held random character names and decided to start writing. I created a new Pages document at 3:26am on 3.27.2020 with the desire to write a space opera. Never did I imagine that now, in December of 2021, my boredom would turn into a planned EIGHT novel series (three of which are complete, two more are nearing completion). I’ve written just a few thousand words shy of 1.3 million (can you believe that!? 1.3 MILLION words, with only about 60k of it being cut content) that’s spread out over about 3,400 canonical pages. I am beyond excited and blessed to have had the opportunity to re-discover my love of writing and I cannot wait to get this series out into the universe.

2: I’m writing reviews as a webcomic critic over at Comic Book Yeti! I got accepted onto the team in May of this year and have had such a blast talking to indie comic creators, sharing something I’m passionate about with an amazing fanbase, and getting to literally read comics for work. If you’re wanting to check those reviews out, here’s my profile.

3: I’m part of an AMAZING charity-focused flash fiction zine called Worth Writing About. Every month a group of writers (myself included) get together and pick a theme and write short flash fiction pieces that get compiled into a digital zine. All of the proceeds go toward a different charity, too and it’s only $2 minimum per zine, so if you like horror I highly suggest snagging a few issues here!

4: On top of my novel writing, I’ve been working on several other projects, too. I have a sensory deprivation focused horror script, a supernatural/comedy comic, a second novel series, and several short stories I’ve been working on in my spare time. All of my short stories, updates, and socials (including TikTok where I post comic reviews and book updates and Twitter where I focus on my CBY work) are listed on my blog at the bottom of this post. HOWEVER, I also post my short stories to Vocal, usually for contests, and I get tipped if you read them there! If you’re wanting nice bite-sized horror pieces, please check out my Vocal, here!

Anyway - life is busy and I’m having a blast. I had a second successful year of NaNo, I got to tour a funeral home for research, and I’m working on a horror anthology short story piece, so lots of cool things are always happening. Please follow me on Twitter and TikTok for more frequent updates.

Check out my personal homepage here to see everything I’ve been up to!

#writer #fiction #horror #aspiring author #indiecomics #webcomic #comic review #short story #personal blog #flash fiction #nanowinner2021 #space opera #update #scripts

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tirorah · 4 years ago

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Road to Berlin – The Strike Witches Magnum Opus?

Hello! It’s been a long time. I don’t plan on returning to Tumblr long-term—it simply stole away too much of my time and energy, and I had to do what was best for myself. However, I thought I’d pop in for a very special message.

You see, Strike Witches’ third season, Road to Berlin, has now reached its halfway point. And I need you to watch it.

“Strike Witches?!” I hear you say. “That weird show about girls with no pants that you’re obsessed with for some reason?”

Yes, exactly! Hold on, don’t run away yet! Sit with me for a spell and allow me to explain my boundless love for this silly, emotionally gripping show. Allow me to tell you why it might affect you in the same way, and why Road to Berlin may be the best offering yet.

Welcome to the 501st Joint Fighter Wing

If you’ve heard of this anime, you’ve undoubtedly heard of (or witnessed) its rather infamous claim to fame: a group of teenage soldiers fighting strange creatures in an Alternate Universe World War 2 Europe, flying around with guns and magic-fueled leg machines, and none of them are wearing any decent trousers.

That takes some getting used to, doesn’t it? I’m not going to deny that. But while Strike Witches’ rather peculiar design decisions are inescapable, there’s one thing you need to take into account: Season 1 aired all the way back in 2008. And over those thirteen years, it’s evolved into an experience unlike anything its roots would suggest.

Strike Witches has always been a strange beast. It has a large cast and divides its activities evenly between (light) war drama and slice-of-life shenanigans. And there’s fanservice, lots and lots of it! But the show’s emphasis on risqué camera work, and how that camera work is handled, highly depends on which entry you’re watching.

You see, Strike Witches is strangely ambitious. It could’ve easily taken its bizarre concept and pushed that to its limits, bringing in as much fanservice as possible and playing a simple story in the background as window dressing. But it was never satisfied with just that. Even early on in Season 1, the show deals with heavier themes like pressure, trauma and loss.

And then there are the characters, the undisputed stars of the show. Twelve strong and all with different backgrounds and personal quirks, they may at first seem like TV Tropes come to life. And certainly, sometimes they are. However, as the series progressed, things started to change. Even Season 2, arguably the lightest and silliest of all entries, featured material that built on character development and character growth earned in its predecessor.

With the movie and a trio of OVAs to round out the cast a bit more, the stage was set for Road to Berlin.

The Difficult Road Ahead

When this season was first announced back in 2018, two things stood out to me. First of all, the key visual and promotional video released along with the announcement were much more similar in style to the movies and the OVAs, featuring serious-looking characters and stormy clouds. Secondly, for the first time in Strike Witches history, an entry received a subtitle. Yes, the OVAs were named Operation Victory Arrow, but that was merely wordplay to spell out “OVA.” It wasn’t wholly serious.

Road to Berlin, however, is deadly serious.

Let’s start with an overall theme. The vaunted 501st Joint Fighter Wing has had some major victories, but much of the continent is still under occupation by the Neuroi. The Hive over Berlin is the Wing’s new target, but the journey there is fraught with obstacles. Plans are thwarted and delayed by Neuroi more powerful and far craftier than their 2008 counterparts.

And as the opening song tells us: “We all have flaws.” The Road to Berlin isn’t an entirely literal road; it’s also a metaphorical one. The push to Berlin is their hardest battle yet. Victory can only be achieved if the characters face and overcome their weaknesses. But they’re not alone.

Friendship Is Power

As the characters have long since been established, there’s greater room for growth not just in one character, but also in how that character interacts with others. Road to Berlin chose the best possible route and decided to emphasize character dynamics. Episodes don’t focus on a single character anymore; they focus on relationships, and those relationships are at their peak here.

There’s a newfound maturity to the writing in Road to Berlin, a gentle touch that allows the characters to breathe and be more than their foremost traits. You get a sense that the characters have grown from their experiences; they feel different, more well-rounded, but they still behave exactly as they should. This is difficult to get right, and while I’m sure there might be a few eyebrow-raising moments here and there, the overall result is a cast that continues to improve every week.

Chekhov’s Gun

Underpinning the character work is a highly intriguing execution. Road to Berlin delivers subtle setups and satisfying payoffs in every episode. The pacing is also seriously tight. No moment is left unused, every opportunity for additional development is taken. Even the script itself doesn’t like to waste time; it explains things here and there, but it rightly assumes you know who the characters are and what everything means, so it doesn’t bother with many unnecessary lines.

On top of all that, this season is reaching new heights in confidence and sheer audacity, and it uses that to deliver something truly special. There are interactions here that I never could’ve imagined, twists that genuinely caught me off-guard, moments where I had to sit back and digest what I’d just witnessed.

Not a single episode has been predictable thus far; I’ve had more surprises than I can count. In fact, before I started watching I made a bingo card on a whim, filling it with trends and running gags I’d spotted over the course of the series. Some of those bingo spaces have already been proven wrong, and others are in question. Road to Berlin has done such a spectacular job at simultaneously defying and exceeding my expectations that I honestly have no idea where this journey will take me.

The Fault in Our Stars

Okay, hold up, stop the hype train! I admit, I’m a massive sucker for Strike Witches. One could say this somewhat clouds my judgement. Shocking, I know. So, to make this enthusiastic recommendation fairer, let’s dig into something that I hope to see an improvement on.

There is some terrible imbalance in screen time going on here. I know I said earlier that the cast is great, and it is amazing, but some characters have definitely been favored over others. Yoshika is the main character, of course, so it’s not unreasonable for her to have a large role. Similarly, characters like Minna, Gertrud and Shirley have more experience and higher ranks than the others, which means they have an easier time fitting into scenes.

So, who’s gotten the short end of the stick?

Let’s start with Lynne. She hasn’t had as much of a presence as I’d hoped. The primary reason for this is Shizuka, who’s taken up the role of newbie to the squadron and is often paired with Yoshika because they’re working together. As each episode focuses on the relationships between a select few characters at a time, the others are often relegated to minor roles, and poor Lynne hasn’t had an episode to highlight her yet. I’m sure her moment will come eventually.

I don’t know if the same thing applies to Minna. She’s mostly stuck behind her desk again, it seems, and while she’s definitely had some scenes, her role as Wing Commander hasn’t allowed her as much wiggle room as some of the others. What I want to see from Minna is more time to be a nurturing mom to her girls. The thing is, I’m not sure how they’d accomplish a Minna-centric episode. I suppose they could pair her up with Mio, but even then, I’m uncertain where to take her. It seems redundant to have her be worried out of her mind over Mio again, and she seems to be keeping it together pretty well so far anyway.

In a trend so merciless it’s almost comical, Sanya and Eila seem forever doomed to the peanut gallery. They started out with few lines and have pretty much remained in the background since. Of course, a big factor to it all is their role as the night patrol, which naturally separates their activities from everyone else’s. It’s my current prediction that their relationship is next in line to be showcased. The quality of that episode will likely hinge on how their personalities are tuned, but there’s potential for something great.

And most shocking of all, Mio—She Who Has Practiced Plot Armor Ten Thousand Times—has had the most infinitesimal role of all. I’m of two minds on this. It appears that Road to Berlin has realized that having Mio fly into battle without a shield or Striker Unit is silly, and this is good. On the other hand, Mio is an iconic and beloved character. She deserves some screen time as long as she doesn’t overshadow the others. For now, she seems to be relegated to strategizing and logistics, although I have a hunch that a way to circumvent her newfound vulnerability has already been set up. Time will tell if this ends up being utilized.

Journey’s End

In closing, Road to Berlin highlights the best of what Strike Witches has to offer. It’s striding boldly forward, eager to dazzle us with its animation and audio, grinning as it challenges our preconceptions about where its characters can go and what they can do.

The path to this greatness can be tough. Watching Strike Witches means accepting a number of strange concepts, which can give quite a few viewers a rough start with the series. However, if you made it all the way here and haven’t given Strike Witches a try yet, I sincerely implore you to make the attempt. If you allow the characters to sweep you off your feet, then Road to Berlin could be the apex of a most satisfying viewing experience.

Especially if its second half is as impressive as the first. I, personally, have high hopes. There’s no sky this show can’t conquer.

#strike witches #road to berlin #anime #yes I made a bingo card in Excel #I'm a passionate fangirl with ample Microsoft experience #oh right #I should point out that I changed my name from NeandaFFnet to TirOrah #as I don't use that old handle anymore #sorry for any confusion caused

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