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so-long-soldier-writes · 10 months ago

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The Agreement

kai parker x reader | requested by @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie back when i asked for fluffy prompts bc i was having a hard month

summary: helping kai adjust to a normal life has its ups and downs, but he, of course, always wins in the end.

tags: domesticity, adjusting to normal life, lots of comfort & cuddling, gemini coven lore, minor indirect mention of abortion where kai's being a dick, but he's mostly soft in this fic, bartender!kai, mentions of alcohol, minor bar fight, minor mention of assault, accidental murder, protective!kai, protective!damon, bonnie is kinda mean in this one, damon secretly wants to be friends with kai, angst & fluff ish

word count: ~9.9k

a/n: this is so cheesy and somewhat choppy but bare with me 😅

You, Damon, and Bonnie have made a deal. Neither will kill Kai, as long as you can help the witch settle into a new life in Mystic Falls. Those are the terms made, and boy, are they hard to get.

“You can’t fix him, Y/N. He’s beyond fucked up,” Bonnie scoffs, “and I don’t want to be partly responsible if I were to make some crazy deal with you that goes wrong.”

“I just want him to try and have a normal life, Bon. He spent twenty years in an abusive household and another twenty years in isolation. He has no idea what normalcy is.”

“By the sound of that, he’s too far gone for you to even try.”

“Just give me a chance to work with him!”

“I don’t even like you being with him! He’s going to hurt you, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

“I haven’t given him a reason to hurt me, Bon.”

“He doesn’t need a reason. He just does things.”

“Well, in that case, I’ve given him a reason not to hurt me. I’m the only one willing to try and help him adjust.”

“Y/N-”

“I see the point you’re making, Y/N,” Damon interrupts his best friend, “but are you really going to put all this work in for him? Seriously?”

“Yes! I don’t get why you guys are so against this. I’m helping you out; I’m giving you one less person to worry about that could raise hell in this town.”

“He already has-”

“Bonnie, please.”

“It would be easier to just kill him.”

“Bonnie!”

“Look at him! He’s plotting right now! No one is quiet for that long unless they’re plotting something.”

You sigh and turn to follow her gaze. Kai is sitting on a barstool, in the room of the boarding house that’s surrounded by windows, watching snow fall.

“He’s just observing!”

“Sure he is.”

“And he’s probably trying to tune out this conversation, too. I’d be, if people were talking about me, and two of them wanted to kill me.”

Bonnie gives you a hard glare.

“Four months,” Damon says suddenly.

“What?”

“You have four months to get him settled.”

“Don’t give me a deadline. It took you longer than four months to stop killing people when you got back to town. And the only reason you did is because Elena finally fell for you. But then every time she dumps you, you kill people again.”

“Thanks for the summary.”

“My point is, I might need longer than four months. I can start with the killing stuff first, teach him he can’t do that, but getting him on his feet might be some work.”

“Easy. Pull the chair out, he’ll figure it out.”

“Damon-”

“I know what you meant. Fine. Six months max. If he’s still (A) killing people, (B) in my house every time I come down for a cup of coffee, or (C) a complete and utter basket-case, by that time, then he’s,” Damon makes the gesture of a throat being slit, “done. No more killing, no more kidnapping, no more terrorizing. Got it?”

“Fine.” You roll your eyes at his insistent face. “Got it.”

“In return, I, nor Bonnie, will kill him unless you take longer or he goes off the rails.”

“You guys do you know you can’t kill him, right? If he dies, so does Jo, so does Liv. Alaric will never speak to you ever again.”

Damon hesitates, but Bonnie already seemed to have an answer to that prepared. “Don’t think I won’t toss him back into 1994, or make a new prison world entirely, if I need to.”

“Bonnie-”

“But if you think you have him under control, you don’t need to worry about that now, do you?”

You sigh, then look over to Kai. He’s still turned towards the window, but you don’t doubt he’s listening. “No, I don’t.” You straighten your posture. “And you won’t need to worry about him, either.”

“Alright, Ms. Confident,” Damon mocks, “guess we have a deal. You have six months to get that weasel somehow adjusted to real life, and we won’t kill him, or throw him in a prison world.”

“Nor will you antagonize him for fun, Damon, which I know you like to do.”

“I do not-”

“Mason Lockwood. John Gilbert. T-”

“Alright! Fine. Bonnie and I will stay out of your way while you work on your little project.”

“I’m going to prove to you he can be good. Just mind your own business while I do it.”

“Fine.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

Two minutes later, you gather Kai and hurry out the door.

“Did you hear all that?”

“Yeah. I’m on thin fucking ice.”

“Mhm.” You then grab his arm before he can slip on real ice right outside the boarding house.

The pair gave you a rather strict set of rules to follow, and Kai’s surprised you didn’t give up on him just hearing the terms. He makes sure to thank you on your way to the Grill, where you’re headed for coffee. He hopes he sounds genuine, but still tends to struggle with that stuff sometimes. You, being the loving person you are, give him a smile and a kiss to the cheek in return. You then walk hand-in-hand to the restaurant, where you plan to carefully explain a few places you’ll help him start.

Two coffees and a lava cake later, you catch his attention.

“So, this is a bad example.”

“What do you mean?” He looks up at you, chocolate syrup dripping from the side of his lip.

You reach out to wipe it off, then lick it off your own finger. Kai then wipes off the rest with his napkin, the little that you missed. He smiles at your lack of hesitancy to reach out to him.

“It’s like, five o’clock-ish, and our dinner shouldn’t be dessert-”

“This is your influence. I fed myself properly when I was locked up.”

“Oh really?” You ask with a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah, actually, I did. And in fact, the first time I met you, you were in this very same seat, with Caroline, eating a lava cake.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “Fine.”

He smirks at his win.

“So you cook. You need somewhere to do it.”

“Like?”

“An apartment, maybe?”

“I can just move in with you.”

You bite your lip. You love Kai, but you’ve only been dating for three months. Of course, he’s spent days and slept over before, but it might be too early for the ‘moving in together’ stage. “You could,” you start, “or we could find you an apartment close-by. So you can get a little bit of autonomy, figure things out for yourself. Have a place to get away, if you need.”

“I don’t think I’d need to get away from you,” he chuckles.

“I certainly hope you won’t, but, I don’t know, I think it’ll be good for you to have your own place. Just for a little while.”

“Do you not want to live with me?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying! I’d love to, but it might be just a little too early for that. And I really think you’d benefit from having your own space. I’ll help pay rent for the first few months. Well, unless you want to go to college? Live in a dorm?”

“At Whitmore?”

“Anywhere.”

“But you live here.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re not in college.”

“No.” You’re not sure where he’s taking this.

“I don’t want to be away from you. I don’t even want to live away from you.”

“You live away from me now.”

“That’s different. At least in the boarding house, there’s people.”

“People who have no qualms about killing you, Kai. What’s this actually about?”

“I don’t want to be alone!” He finally admits. A few people look over from the shout, but you wave them off. “I was alone for eighteen years, I can’t take it anymore!”

“Kai, there are other people in apartments, too.”

“But not in the same room! They’re all in locked doors. I’ve seen plenty of shows. Besides, what if the time away makes you not want to be with me anymore?”

“What?!” You ask, genuinely surprised.

“You’re the only person that cares about me. What if space apart makes you not?”

“Baby, that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to stop loving you just because you move into an apartment.” You lower your voice, recognizing your conversation has an audience of three old men. “We’re apart now,” you repeat, “and I still love you. A couple minutes apart, even less time than our distance now, isn’t going to change that.”

“I still don’t want to be alone, Y/N.”

“Tell you what… we’ll find you one in the same building that I’m in, maybe even the same floor. We’ll be two minutes apart at most. You can come find me at any time; I’ll give you a key.” You reach out to take his hand. “When we’re dating for longer, we can talk about moving in together, but for now, I really want you to try living on your own. Please? We have to prove to Damon and Bon that you can, or you know what they’ll do. Do it for me, so I can keep you safe, okay?”

Kai bites his lip. “Okay. Same floor.”

“I think the woman across the hall is moving out anyway.”

He nods.

“Besides, I don’t want you too far from me, either.” You wink. “Who else is going to cook for me?”

He smiles at your first comment, but at the second, pushes your hand playfully. “See, you admit I can cook.”

“Never said you couldn’t!” You pause. “So that’s a definite ‘no’ on the college thing?”

He nods. “First of all, you wouldn’t be there. Second, I don’t care for the college experience that’s so hyped up in movies. Third, I’ve read thousands of books while being locked up. If I wanted to study one thing really intently, I either already have, or I would’ve.”

“Okay then.” Obviously, his mind is made up. “Sounds good.”

You both eat a few more bites of the cake, then he crinkles his nose. “I know you’re gonna say it sooner or later, so I might as well ask now… are you gonna make me get a job?”

The cynical look on his face makes you want to laugh, but you manage to hold it in. “Yep.”

“Crap.”

“It doesn’t have to be something crazy. Hell, you could work here. Be a bartender or something.”

“Do I have to work with people?”

“I thought you just said you want to be around people?”

“Not stupid people, though. Y’know, like the what-you-call-Karen types that would make me want to wring their neck.”

You chuckle. “Baby, that’s a type of person difficult to avoid. Any job is gonna have its fair share of annoying people. Unless you deliver mail, or something.”

“What’s that require?”

“Valid driver’s license.”

“I have one of those.”

“Valid?”

“Made it myself, but it got me through airport security.”

You sigh. “Can you drive?”

“Yes. Taught myself.”

“Would you pass a test?”

“I don’t know. But I drove BonBon from Mystic Falls to Portland without killing her.”

“Lower your voice when you say stuff like that!” You warn again, waving off a man.

Kai seems to ignore you. “Though half of that trip, we did fly…”

“You flew a plane?”

“Had eighteen years to learn!”

“Okay. Let’s get off this topic. You spend so much time in this grill, it might be a good place to start. As long as you show up, do your best, and don’t,” you lower your own voice, “spike people’s drinks for fun-”

“I would never!” He fakes offense.

“-I think you’d be good.”

The boy takes a sip of his coffee. “Fine. Just for you, I’ll try it.”

“Great! I’ll talk to Matt.”

“Ugh.”

“And don’t mention that you killed the manager, because they never found out who did that.”

“Noted.”

“And he’s besties with the Sheriff.”

“Great. You don’t want me to work here for an extra set of eyes on me, do you?”

“No, ‘course not. You’re my sole responsibility, I don’t want Matt involved at all. I just think you’d be a good bartender.”

“Okay.”

“And you like it here, so you might be more comfortable here.”

“What are the odds you could work here, too?”

“I have a job.”

“You could quit it and work here.”

“Kai…”

“Fine. Talk to Matt.”

“Okay.” You stand up to find the other boy. “Stay here.” You kiss his head as you pass him, then head to the bar.

Kai stares into his coffee while you wait by the bar. He likes the Grill, but doesn’t know about working in it. The customers around him are often annoying, and he doubts his ability to remain patient with them. Still, you made a deal to keep him safe, and if his two little prison world friends are going to uphold their end, the two of you have to keep yours. He sighs, then turns to find you. You’ve caught hold of Matt, but as you seem to explain the situation, he rolls his eyes. Kai bites his lip. He has to make this work, for you, even if he doubts his own ability to fit into the world.

As you turn to look at him, he looks away abruptly. A minute later, you return to your seat.

“How’d it go?”

“He’s gonna give you a chance… on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“If I’ll work here, too.”

The boy’s eyes light up. “Really? I thought you said I should do it myself.”

“Well then scratch that. It’ll be more fun together anyway.”

Kai smiles before growing serious again. “So apartment, job… anything else to cover?”

You’re quiet for a moment. There’s a lot more to cover, but you’ve just tackled two of the biggest factors when it comes to normalcy, and you don’t want to overload the poor boy. So instead of bringing anything else up, you shrug. “We can tackle it later. For now, let’s finish this cake.”

Grateful, he nods. He knows, not only from Bonnie and Damon, that there’s a lot more expected of him than just housing and working. He’s lucky he has someone that understands that. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you reply back.

*****

For the next couple nights, Kai stays with you until you can secure a room for him in your apartment complex. Turns out Ms. Mary White had moved out just recently - wanted to find a complex with fewer stairs - and Kai would be able to move in by the end of the week.

Of course, that process doesn’t come without its own issues. A key piece of information required for renting an apartment is proof of one’s identity. When Kai is asked to present his, he stares blankly at your landlord.

“Uh, I think my father has it in the attic of my childhood home.”

“Well can you call him?”

“He probably burned it,” Kai mutters.

Your landlord’s eyes quickly widen at the same time yours do. Your boyfriend’s blunt honesty is quite fatal for the situation; your landlord does not need to know about his abusive childhood, nor the crimes Kai had committed over twenty years ago. One Google search could quite possibly open a whole can of worms you aren’t ready to contain.

In the following two seconds after that, you dial Caroline’s number.

Luckily, the vampire comes to your aid. She compels the man into forgetting both the conversation, and his need for any proof of identity. She seals his spot in the apartment, and simultaneously, in his new life.

As Caroline then helps the two of you settle in, Kai catches her attention.

“Why did you help me?”

The blonde faces him. “Well… for one, Y/N cares about you. If she sees good in you, and the ability to change, to be better, then I trust her. Two, I do owe you for helping my mom. She’s healing, slowly, ever since you siphoned the vampire’s blood out of her system, and I never fully thanked you for that. And third… I know someone like you. Someone who came to Mystic Falls, and wrecked absolute havoc, but for some reason, he had a soft spot for me. I was used in all of the plans they would make to distract or ‘neutralize’ him, and with time, it worked. He got better. He’s an ally now. A friend, even.”

“So Y/N is like you, and he’s kinda like me. You see that happening? You can see me getting better?”

“Klaus did.”

Kai swallows. It means a lot to hear someone other than Y/N have faith in him. “Thank you.”

“All I’m saying is prove them wrong. Damon’s an ass sometimes. And remember, he was the villain too, a while back.”

“I heard some stories from them back in the prison world.”

“Well they probably didn’t even cover half the stuff he did. Trust me, Damon has no room to judge.”

Kai nods.

“Text me if you guys need help with anything else. Kai, good luck. Treat Y/N well.” With a smile, she’s gone.

“Klaus,” Kai repeats.

“You’re not half as bad as Klaus,” you inform him, “killing-wise, I mean. That thing is a thousand years old and has killed probably five times more people than his age.”

“She said he got better.”

“He did. Still kills, obviously, but he is a friend to us now.”

He nods again, processing the information without replying.

You spend the rest of the evening settling him in with the little stuff he has. Most of his belongings are clothes, and whatever else is either from 1994 or stolen somewhere along the way. You have some extra furniture in your apartment, and earlier that day, bought him a comforter. It’s enough to live, and he seems fine with it. Besides, you both know he’ll be in your apartment most of the time, anyway.

*****

A couple days after that, you start your new jobs at The Grill. You’re only part time, considering you’re already a dedicated employee elsewhere, and Matt’s fine with that as long as you “watch him” at least most of the time. The boy is clearly not excited about the reformed serial killer joining his work team, but at the same time, Matt’s not one to turn down anyone looking for a fresh start.

At first, he keeps Kai in the back, away from people. A smart move while he still adjusts. He’s mostly tasked with filling drink orders and cleaning up, and only after he’s been working in the restaurant environment for a week is he actually allowed to hand people their orders. So far, he’s incident-free, but you can tell Matt is just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

His heart almost stops the day he sees Damon enter on a day he has Kai serving drinks.

Matt rushes to the back, trying to find you to take over before the vampire can saunter over to the bar.

“Bourbon. Neat.” Damon says to no one in particular.

Kai swallows hard at the sound of the man’s voice, but then stands up to pour him the drink. As he passes the glass to him, Damon’s attention turns from the distant game of billiards to the unidentified bartender.

“Oh.” He blinks in surprise. “It’s you.”

“Yep, I am working here now.” Kai enunciates every word, still in disbelief that he does.

“Gotta say I’m shocked. Had any urges to kill anyone yet?”

“No, it’s been mostly tame. There was one lady the other day who was so drunk, she fell out of her chair, but that was more amusing than anything else.”

Damon snorts. Part of him wishes he could have witnessed that, but he’ll be damned if he admits that to Kai. “And her inconsiderate ways didn’t have you tempted to toss a glass at her head? Maybe you are improving.”

Kai bites his tongue. He knows Damon’s just trying to get under his skin, and the bar is too busy for him to react. Besides, one wrong move and the vampire will call off their deal.

Luckily, a heartbeat later, you pop around the corner from the kitchen.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Your little pet served a drink.” He takes a sip. “Ten points to Slytherin for getting my order correct.”

“Be nice, Damon. I’ve never seen you attempt to get a job.”

“Why would I need a job? I’m a vampire, if you haven’t forgotten. I don’t need money, and I don’t need to buy food-”

“Because you just eat people? Right. And you do buy food, let me remind you, and drinks, on a daily basis, which requires money. But since your nephew - whom you killed - was rich, you don’t need to work for anything. So no, you don’t need a job, but if you were born into a less rich family, you’d certainly need to, to support your hobbies.”

“Touché.”

You shrug. “I’m just sayin’.”

Damon glares at you, sips the rest down in one gulp, then spins the glass back to Kai. “Refill.”

Knowing you’ve won, you give your boyfriend a kiss to the cheek as he pours another glass. You’re halfway back to the kitchen when Damon clears his throat,

“I could report you for PDA.”

“Try me.”

He doesn’t.

That night, you praise your boyfriend for keeping his cool under the unexpected presence of Damon. Truth be told, you hadn’t even considered the man’s frequency at the restaurant when you spoke out for Kai to work there; you only thought about where he’d be most comfortable. Kai admitted he started pushing buttons, but your interference diffused the situation immediately. You give him a kiss, then snuggle into his chest, legs over his as you sit in his lap. Kai grabs you before you can get too comfortable, turning your cuddling into a make-out session. Unlike his shift at the bar earlier, things escalate pretty quickly.

*****

Weeks pass of coaxing Kai into a normal life. He’s doing well despite the cards handed to him, and you’re sure to tell him how proud you are each night. There have been a few instances where he’s yelled at customers who’ve yelled at him, and then he had to muster up an apology to them. On two occasions, you’ve traded places with him, seeing either Damon or a crowd of college kids approaching the bar. But though he’s had a few mistakes, he’s received compliments, too.

One woman, a regular, and very picky about her cocktails, told him she’s impressed with his ability, especially given his age, and that he makes some of the best drinks she’s had. She always leaves a good tip, and has made sure to tell the manager what she said to him.

Kai only gave a dimpled smile and a polite, “thank you,” and decided not to tell her he’s actually in his forties, and had nothing better to do for eighteen years than craft cocktails.

“See,” you then said to him, “I knew you’d be a good bartender. I didn’t even know you could make cocktails.”

“I couldn’t tell if she was hitting on me by the end of the night,” is all he replies.

You scrunch your eyebrows, but then widen your eyes at the fifty percent tip. “Yeah, maybe just a little.”

*****

As much progress as he’s made, he’s not done yet. Kai’s had about three months of getting on his feet, and now he has to address a big issue that both of you have been avoiding. On a calm night neither of you had work, you decide it’s now or never to bring it up.

So, laying across his lap again, you fiddle with the ring on his finger as a show you’re half-watching runs in the background. Tension builds in your shoulders as you try to form a good question. Within minutes, he can tell something’s up with you.

“What?”

“I have something to say, but you’re not gonna like it.”

“Spill.”

“So… You’ve fought hard against the fate chosen for you by your father. He didn’t think you were capable of leading the coven, so he cast you out. Made you feel like you were less of a person; of a witch, because of the way you were born.”

“Point?”

“Against all odds, you came out on top. You broke down the barriers, literally and physically, and became the leader. Now,” you pause, “you gotta lead.”

Kai swallows as if he hadn’t anticipated this aspect of his choices. That, or he never expected to get this far, and therefore, never thought about any way he’d do it. “I am,” he finally says.

“How?”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“You’re telling me your father never had any specific duties he’d have to perform as leader? No responsibilities? No expectations? Nothing?”

“He had to find a wife and have a set of twins.”

“Kai-”

“I know what you mean,” he sighs. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to lead a coven! What the hell do they do? Do I have to feed them? Give them water?”

“They’re not plants, Kai. Th-”

“I know!” He pauses the TV, but luckily doesn’t try to get off the couch. “But I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that myself. I saw my dad do some of it; he’d go to meetings, and set the standards, and was there to congratulate every stupid baby ever born-”

“Kai,” you warn.

“Sorry. I just… they hate me. How am I supposed to lead them when they hate me, and frankly, I hate them, too.”

“You’re just gonna have to do your best. Don’t do exactly what your father did, but use his leadership as a guideline - whether that's what to do or what to not do, that’s your choice. Try to co-exist with them, and follow whatever rules are absolutely required.”

He bites his cheek. “Will you help me?”

“Of course.” You kiss the side of his face he’s biting to make him let go. “I told you before, I’m always gonna be here for you. If that includes helping you make decisions in regards to your crazy coven, then so be it.”

*****

You’ve never seen anyone from his coven aside from his immediate family, so seeing more of the group that you’d ever anticipated was terrifying, to say the least. The whole plane trip across the country, you’re both having trouble sitting still. As he consumes mini pretzels at an abnormal rate, your tapping foot is probably peeving the passengers around you. Still, he tries his best to prepare you for what den of lions you’re about to face.

“So… meetings are usually just comprised of “elders” and their wives, plus anybody else deemed important enough to attend, or anyone who has something important to share. The elders are the decision makers, and now that includes my dad - elderly, and a past leader.” You snort at his choice of word, but then remember Kai’s actual age and realize the man probably is elderly. “So he’ll certainly be there. Jakob’s had it out for me since day one. I’m assuming he’s still alive, and he’ll be filled with piss and vinegar to see me in person. Leon’s fine. He carries the siphon gene and hasn’t had children because of it. His great uncle is rotting in a prison world somewhere, and I only know that from reading the journals from when I was in ‘94. Patrice is… unimportant,” he says, not knowing what else to say about her.

“Jeez… is anyone in your family actually pleasant?”

“My Aunt Maisie.”

“Oh, so one person.”

He nods. “She’s where Jo got ‘Laughlin’ from. You’d think if she was trying to hide from me, she wouldn’t pick the one name I’d immediately recognize.” He doesn’t say anything else on the matter, but there’s clearly more to it. You don’t push. His childhood isn’t something he wants to relive, and going to this meeting is doing exactly that. Instead, you change the topic.

“So I got us a hotel for the night, and a flight back the next morning. Partly because I know you don’t want to be here, and to be honest, I don’t want to be here, either. And, partly, because when you took off yesterday to prepare for this stupid thing, Matt texted and said Jenny missed your cocktails.”

The comment makes him smile. Even though the grill regular definitely flirts with him most nights, he’s come to enjoy her presence.

“Though I told him you’d need tomorrow night off, too, because this is going to be mentally draining, on top of the plane trip that crosses several time zones. And maybe Saturday, also.”

“Thank you,” he says genuinely, relieved that you understand him in such a way. He leans over to kiss you five seconds before the plane hits turbulence.

*****

On top of the four elders Kai mentioned, his father included, six others were also in attendance. Three were present when he was a kid, though Kai deemed them of lesser importance - they’d rarely speak, and usually only vote - and three had been elected sometime post-1994. He knows them from biannual gatherings and special occasions, but had never really spoken to them. And that reason is, of course, because he was rarely allowed out of his room for those occasions.

When he first enters the room and meets their eyes, small chatter fades to complete silence. Breaths are held as they look the boy up and down. They stare at him, then at you, and a little at your clasped hands. One-by-one, they address him, all by his full name, making his eyes twitch.

Joshua is the last of the elders to greet the new leader, being the most recent to join the council. He looks down disapprovingly before finally spitting a welcome.

“Where’s A-” Joshua turns on his heels and walks away before Kai can ask the question.

His sister then stands before him. “Aunt Maisie passed away in ‘99.”

Kai’s throat dries. “Why are you here?”

“I’m carrying the next set of twins, of course I’d be here.”

You squeeze his hand, trying to comfort him. He bites back a reply, but you can feel the anger coursing through his body.

Nothing important happens in the actual meeting. Jakob, as Kai predicted, shouts most of the time at no one in particular. Everyone knows he’s mad at Joshua, though, and you later learn that he originally wanted to kill the siphon boy at a mere eight years old. This time, Kai squeezes your hand to calm you.

A couple minutes is spent talking about the future of the coven. Patrice points out that although Jo is pregnant, her husband isn’t the leader. Something in her tone hints that the leader’s girlfriend should be the one to be pregnant and to bear the next set, but she’s instantly overridden by everyone shushing her about not wanting to continue the siphon, nor Kai in particular’s, direct bloodline.

In summary, you and Kai flew all the way to Portland just to be annoyed for three hours. That night, you cuddled him on the hotel bed, massaging your hands through his hair. He put up a strong, confident front to prove his ability to lead, but melted the moment you coaxed him into your arms in the privacy of the room. He’s quiet for a long time, and you’re the one that finally breaks the silence.

“I’m proud of you.”

His shoulders relax but tone hardens. “Why?” He wants to believe you, but doubts himself so much that he can’t yet.

“Because you stood up to them by coming here. You’re making an effort to prove your worth to them. Not like you should have to do that, but they’re a bunch of assholes who think you do. But regardless of that, too, it took a lot of strength to face the people who’ve done nothing but cause you pain. You handled both Jo’s and Jakob’s hostility well.”

He exhales, racing mind beginning to ease. “Thank you for coming with me.”

“Of course. Thank you for braving this step and showing them you’re more than capable to lead.”

“They’ll never think I am.”

“That doesn’t matter. They have no say in it; you’re already doing it.”

“For twenty-two years. Until whatever is germinating in my sister’s womb pops out.”

You bite your cheek to keep from laughing. His back rests against your chest, though, and there’s no way he didn’t feel at least a chuckle. “Well then that means we have twenty-two years to figure out something else instead.”

“Pennyroyal tea?”

“No!” You say quickly, unsure if he’s joking or not. “I mean more like, I don’t know, whatever that one woman was saying.”

It takes him a moment, but then his eyes narrow. “You want to have twins?”

“Better me than Jo to have the set that will eventually take over. Even if I’m a couple years behind, they’ll have to accept the current leader’s set over his sister’s, right?”

Kai shrugs, having no idea. It sounds true, given what was hinted before the elder was shushed, but he doesn’t know. Regardless of the answer, he sighs. “You wouldn’t want that kind of tie to my coven.”

“I’m dating you, I kinda already have it.”

“Yeah, but that level of ‘in it’ is something you can’t get out of.”

“I’d do it for you.”

He swears his heart stops. You would marry into his coven and produce a set of in-line twins just for him. Kai is still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you’re dating him, not to mention you’d suffer a coven meeting for him, but to also go that far… just because you love him? He can’t process it.

He wonders… maybe, he misheard you. “Did you say-” When he turns to face you, he realizes you’ve fallen asleep. Your hands remain to hold him, though you’re no longer playing with his hair. He watches your breathing for a moment, still bewildered. At some point, though, his racing mind and tired eyes drive him to exhaustion, and he finally falls asleep in your arms.

*****

Joshua’s presence at your terminal prevented you from never mentioning the conversation, as you were already late to catch your plane. The salt and pepper haired man had a few last, weak words for his son, as he tried to thank him for attending the meeting, but still shame him for winning the merge at the same time. When he made a spiral hand gesture in search of the right thing to say for the fifth time, you snapped your fingers to speed up the process, and finally then did he spit out something half-meaningful. You got on your plane with two minutes to spare and had, for the time being, completely forgotten about your earlier talk.

*****

You’re nearing the fifth month mark in your agreement with Damon and Bonnie, but to be honest, you aren’t worried about it one bit. They have no reason to punish Kai; he’s done nothing but make good progress since the deal was made.

That is, until one night at The Mystic Grill goes horribly wrong.

*****

A rather impatient series of knocks has you opening the door with your eyes rolling.

“What now?” You swing it open, expecting the pizza man. The last time, the man was so terrified of the neighbor’s dog that was barking, he was quick to hand it over and leave, forgetting his tip in the process. “I promise, the dog isn’t getting out. He’s just-”

Instead, Damon stands on the other side. “What dog? I’m not-”

“No.” You try to close it, but he stops it with his foot.

“Wait, Y/N.”

“What do you want?”

“Can’t just check up on a friend?”

“I still have time to work with Kai. And for your information, he’s doing great. We don’t need your commentary.”

“I’m just curious.” He tries to look past your shoulder into the room. “Where is the little weasel?” Unfortunately, he spots him on the couch and offers a wave.

“He has his own place down the hall, we’re just having dinner together. Got a problem with it?”

“Kai Parker has his own apartment? Wow!”

“Shut up, Damon. And why are you really here?”

“Jo told Alaric, who told me, that Kai’s been going to coven meetings lately.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Just seeing if it’s true! So what made him go?”

“He’s the leader; he’s taking up the responsibility. Like a leader does.”

He scoffs. “No influence from you?”

“Of course I’m helping him, but I’m not making decisions for him.”

“Really? This apartment, a job at the grill, being there for his family, that’s not you telling him what to do?”

“If didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t. I don’t know if you know him, but Kai doesn’t do anything unless he wants to. Sure I’m guiding him, but he has the ultimate say in all of these decisions.”

“Yeah, except if he doesn’t follow the rules, we’re gonna kill him.”

“If you can catch him,” you challenge, “because if Kai decides he doesn’t want this life, I’m prepared to run with him.” You watch Damon’s face before continuing. “But the thing is - he does. He does want to fit in, and he does want his life to have meaning, and he doesn’t want to waste it. Contrary to what you all think, he’s really trying to start something here.” Damon stares at you. “So I’d appreciate it if you’d butt out and go away.”

The man clicks his tongue, but then ultimately leaves. “See you later, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” you mutter, joining him on the couch.

“You didn’t mention the guy at the bar.”

“Didn’t seem relevant. Damon makes mistakes, too.”

“What if he finds out?”

“I won’t let him hurt you. You’ve been making such good progress; you’ve been a downright angel most of the time. One bar fight in my defense isn’t going to erase all that.”

“Y/N, I killed him. He’s going to send me back to a prison world. I can’t go back there.”

You take his shoulders gently and pull him down into your lap. “He’s not going to hurt you, Kai. I promise. Rest your little head, okay?”

He nods. “And you’re sure you’ll leave with me if it comes to that?”

After the incident, he had a meltdown, fearing for his life, and almost preparing for Bonnie to burst through the door and send him away. You promised that if she were to come for him, you’d abandon this life and run with him, even if that dissolves the terms of your agreement with the pair. You had then admitted, too, that if Kai decides he doesn’t adapt well to domestic life, even without the incident that had occurred, you’re prepared to leave with him. Damon knowing that little contingency plan probably wasn’t the best, but you doubt the man believes you anyway.

“Of course. I promise.” You assure him.

*****

At nearly midnight, one week later, you hear a banging across the hall. After a moment, you poke your head out and see Damon at your door.

“The fuck do you want?”

“I thought this was your door?”

“I’m with Kai.”

“Ooh, in his apartment?”

“Did you think I was lying?”

He shrugs. “A little.”

“What do you want, Damon?”

He comes up to you with a piece of paper in his hand. He reads, “obituary of forty-two year old Patrick Johnson. Died in a bar fight last week. Split his head against the countertop. No arrests have been made,” he looks up, “happened at the grill.”

“So?”

“Sound familiar?”

“No arrests have been made.”

“Well I didn’t do it. Stefan didn’t do it. It could’ve only been Enzo, or your little “reformed” sociopath in there, and I think we both know who’s to blame.” You roll your eyes. “It’s easier to just tell the truth, sweetheart.”

“So what if it was? What are you gonna do? You’re not invited in; you can’t touch him.”

“Just tell me what happened, Y/N.” He makes a push against the boundary, but it doesn’t budge. “Look, Bonnie hasn’t seen this yet. Just tell me, and I can make it go away.”

“Why would you do that?”

“The goodness of my heart?” You snort. “Come on, Y/N.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I can go show this to her then,” he points his thumb in the other direction, “because I can promise you who she’ll point the first finger at, and considering Enzo’s been so busy sticking his nose in my brother’s business lately, odds aren’t in your favor.”

You hesitate. “Fine.”

Kai watches from the couch with bated breath. Damon gives him a little wave as he notices him. “Hello, Malachai.” You glare at the man, who then half-apologizes. “Sorry. Explain.”

“There was a fight one night when we weren't working. Matt wasn’t working either. Kai had nothing to do with starting the fight, but unfortunately, we were sitting right in the middle of it. We got up to leave, but then some man grabbed me and reached down my shirt, and Kai lost his cool.”

“Details, please.”

“He pushed him into the bar but the man kept fighting back. He spit in Kai’s face and made attempts to pull at his clothes. All the while, yelling all this shit about what he wanted to do to me, screaming profanities. Made comments about other women, too, but when he specified that he had been watching me all night and was waiting for Kai to leave, Kai pushed his head down into the countertop. He still fought. After a couple of blows to the counter, we heard a crack. It wasn’t his fault, Damon, don’t hurt him, please.”

The man stares for a moment, then at Kai. “Y’know… I’m surprised you even made it this far. I had no faith in you.”

“Damon-”

“But, I have to say, I’m impressed by your progress. Y/N here wants you to be better, and clearly you love her enough to be better for her.”

“He’s doing it for himself, too, Damon. All he’s ever wanted is to be accepted, and-”

“Save the speech. I admire the progress you’ve made, and I’d honestly hate for all of Y/N’s hard work to go to waste. Now, Bonnie hasn’t seen this yet, and you’ve toned down your menacing almost one hundred percent, and I can agree that this incident isn’t your fault. So, if you promise not to repeat it, and don’t ever speak a word of this to Bonnie-”

“She doesn’t even talk to me anymore.”

“-we don’t have to let her know it happened. I’ll go Liz, clear your name from it. She can put the blame on someone else or claim it was an accident. Just tell me that you won’t let this happen again.”

Now you’re the one staring at Damon, wide-eyed with surprise. “I-I promise.”

Kai nods, agreeing. “I didn’t mean to get in a fight, and I certainly didn’t mean to kill him. I just couldn’t let it go and he wouldn’t stop.”

“I’d do the same if it were Elena. Hell, I’d do it for Y/N, too. What’s one less douchebag in this world?”

The boy half-smiles. “Hey, Damon?”

“What?”

“If Bonnie does find out, or if she has a suspicion, what do we do?”

He shrugs. “Tell her what you told me. He wouldn’t stop. It was an accident. You were protecting Y/N.” Damon looks at you. “I know you two used to be close, so even if she’s mad about it, she’ll understand. I won’t let her do anything in terms of the agreement, I’ll, as Elijah always says,” he says with a smirk, “keep my word. And hey, you might even win brownie points for defending her.”

“Thank you.”

“Just don’t let it happen again. Next time someone starts shit, call me to compel them away, or call Liz.”

“Okay,” you reply.

“Speaking of compulsion,” he adds, “how’d you get this apartment?”

You’re quiet for a moment, then admit, “Caroline helped.” He laughs. “Don’t tell Bonnie.”

Damon puts his hands up as if to surrender. “Not a peep.”

“She said I remind her of someone named Klaus,” Kai offers.

“Ah. Yes! Baby Klaus.”

You shake your head, offended. “Not at all!”

“I’m kidding!”

“You’re a jerk.”

“All kidding, sourpuss. Alright, off to Liz.”

“Thank you again.”

“Hm. Be good.”

The death was ruled an accident the next day.

*****

Six months on the dot, Damon summons you and Bonnie back to the boarding house to rule if Kai can stay, or if Bonnie can boot him back to a prison world. The boy is nervous, despite you promising him he has nothing to fear. If anything, she should be the one anxious, upset she can’t go through with her little plan to trap him again.

The two of you show up right on time, and to your surprise, Elena’s the one to open the door.

“Hi,” she smiles. You two haven’t seen much of each other lately. Bonnie’s been adamant about her friends avoiding both you and The Grill, and many of their nights have been spent at the Scull Bar instead.

“Hi,” you greet her back. Kai gives her a smile, too, but nervousness twitches at the tip of his lips.

“I’ve been seeing the other Parker so much, it’s refreshing to see a different one,” she references Liv and her salty-ass attitude. “Hey, Damon’s said you make a mean cocktail. Put it to the test?”

Damon’s been keeping a secret eye on Kai and reporting everything back to his girlfriend. She wants to believe he’s changed, Caroline, too, and asks the question as a small way to test it. When he gives her a more confident smile and steps inside the house, she takes it as a good sign.

You follow them inside.

“Y/N!” Damon welcomes, arms open wide. He pulls you into an unexpected hug, but then whispers in your ear, “careful, she’s bitter.” The hug suddenly makes sense, and you thank him for the warning before hugging back. “And where’s the little weasel?”

“In the kitchen with Elena. She wanted a cocktail.”

“Ah. I may have told her he’s built up a little fanbase at The Grill. Jenny the Drunk is no longer his biggest tipper.”

“So I’ve heard. All the milfs want my man.”

“Well, he is closer in age to them than you.”

“Shut up.”

“Y/N,” Bonnie’s voice interrupts your banter. She smiles at you from afar, eyes clouded with mixed emotions.

“Hi,” you reply with a similar tone. Not cold, but not exactly warm, either. “How’ve you been?”

“Okay. Been studying a lot. Been helping Jo with… I’ve been busy.”

You nod. “She’s close.”

“Yeah. You know?”

“She stopped coming to meetings.”

“Meetings…?”

“Coven meetings. They’re in Portland, so we have to fly, and she’d always be there, too.”

“You’ve been going to coven meetings?”

“Kai’s the leader, he kinda has to.”

She gulps, as if not expecting him to be so productive in the six month time span. Before she can say anything else, though, Caroline comes out of nowhere with a bright yellow cocktail and a bendy straw.

“Mhm! You have to try these, they’re so good! Who’d think Kai could make such a good tropical drink? I wouldn’t until thirty seconds ago.”

You laugh. “Where’d the bendy straw come from?”

She shrugs. “Found them in the cupboard, probably Damon’s secret stash. Bonnie, you want to try?”

“No.”

“Okay.” She retreats back to the kitchen, promising she’ll bring you one.

“Did he learn that skill at The Grill? Matt taught him?”

“He learned in the prison world. They only had to train him on the more modern drinks.” She doesn’t answer. “He’s really been trying. Not only trying, but doing really well.”

“What about-”

“Guys, come in here! Damon’s summoning you,” Caroline calls.

You share one more glance and then follow her voice to the kitchen.

“Decision-making time,” Damon announces, fighting with his tongue to find his straw.

“Preferably before we get drunk,” his girlfriend agrees.

Bonnie looks less than thrilled. “This agreement was made between Y/N, Damon, and I, and only the three of us will actually be making the decision.”

Her slight attitude makes the room silent.

Caroline’s the first to speak up. “That’s fair, I guess.”

“Thank you, Caroline.” The girl looks back down at her drink. She made input to keep the peace, not to argue on the behalf of one side or the other. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“You mentioned Kai’s been going to Gemini meetings. Anything else he’s done?”

“Yeah, well, we started with the apartment, then the job. Felt like The Grill would be a good place since he was a regular, and that he’d be comfortable there. With time, I helped him ease into his coven role, and we go to Portland monthly for meetings. Nothing important ever really happens, they all just argue.”

“You mentioned you’ve seen Jo. She’s around eight months now. That hasn’t been a problem?”

“She wasn’t at the last meeting. Her father said he nor Rick wanted her flying. And no, it hasn’t been a problem.”

“He’s not worried about the next set of twins taking over in twenty years?”

“We’ve discussed it, but no, it’s not a problem.”

“What do you mean ‘discussed it’?”

“That’s actually none of your business, Bonnie. The only people who should be concerned with that are those in the Gemini coven, and considering you’re not, you don’t have the right to ask. And, actually, Jo got pregnant and engaged without even consulting her coven, too, so frankly, that business only belongs to Kai and I.” She blinks, not used to being told off so directly. “We’re not concerned about Jo, nor the twins. Besides, that’s over twenty years away, and not worth worrying over right now.”

“Fine. So he’s adapting well?”

“Yes.”

“Bonnie,” Damon starts, “I know we were skeptical, but I think they’ve proven us wrong-”

“One more thing.” You gulp, knowing exactly where she’s headed. “A couple months ago, I read an article where a local bar fight turned deadly. The man’s death was ruled an accident. Do you know anything about that?”

“That was-”

“And don’t you dare lie to me because we both know-”

“I wasn’t going to lie,” you snap back. “If you’d let me talk, I could explain.”

“Oh, so you do know about it? I want to hear it from him,” she nods to Kai.

Kai’s nervously chewing his lip. When you give him a gentle tilt of your head, he begins to explain. “Okay, yes, that was me. I was defending Y/N. I-”

“We told you no more killing people. The deal’s-”

“Let him explain, Bonnie,” the vampire interrupts.

“You’re defending him?!”

“Just hear him out first.”

Kai looks to Damon, then back at the girl. “The guy got physical with Y/N. He was yelling all this profane shit about her and grabbed at her shirt. When I got in the middle of them, he started hitting at me, and spitting. Every time I tried to shake him off, he’d come back for more. It was a complete accident; I didn’t mean to kill him.”

“So you did kill him.”

“Did you not hear me? I said it was an accident; he was trying to get to Y/N. I wasn’t going to let him touch her.”

“Think about it, Bonnie. If you were there, you would’ve given him a magical headache, and if his brain burst, oh well! The only difference is that Kai didn’t use magic. If anything, it’s better that he didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, I’m still confused. Why are you defending him? And why do you seem to know about this?!”

“I did know about it, okay? And I’m sorry for not telling you, but this is why. He was defending Y/N and I can’t blame him for that. C’mon, Bon. You’ve always been worried about her getting hurt, but he keeps her safe. It’s crazy, even for me to admit, but he does.”

“So you’re okay with him staying? You’re serious?”

“Look, he hasn’t been bothering us. Hasn’t been bothering Jo. This is the only person he’s killed and it was in Y/N’s defense. He makes great cocktails. Let’s just put this whole thing behind us.”

“Bonnie, I’ve missed your friendship these last couple months, and if you give Kai a chance, you’ll see he’s really put in a lot of effort into building a life here.”

She glares at the both of you, then back at him. She even looks to her friends for support. They shrug. “Fine.” She holds up a finger, “but if he falls back into old ways, he’s gone.”

“Thank you, Bon.”

Kai offers his thanks as well, and a second later, you jump at the feeling of his lips on the back of your neck. He apologizes for startling you, but then wraps his arms around your waist. Bonnie watches, both at how unafraid you are of him, and how in love he is with you. She fights the urge to smile, wanting to keep up her cold exterior for a little longer.

After some time, plans are made to get together for real. There’s a lot of work to be done in rekindling your friendship, but you’re on the path to getting there. As for her negative feelings about Kai, she’s just going to have to see his change for herself.

*****

That night, you’re curled in bed together when something suddenly harbors in his mind. He hesitates for a moment, unsure if he wants to bring it up; if you even remember it happening, but then curiosity begins to fester in him.

“Can we talk about something, Y/N?”

“What’s that?”

“I was reminded earlier, when you were talking about Jo to Bonnie… in the hotel room after the first meeting, did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“What you said about, like, having twins? That you’d do it for me?”

You backtrack your mind several months to that conversation. It happened a little like this one - you holding him, him being a little weary about the day’s events. Ah. “Yes.”

He perks up. “Yes, you remember it, or yes, you meant it?”

“Both. I do remember that conversation. And yes, I would give you a set of twins if you wanted to keep your bloodline in the leadership.”

“Why?”

“Why?” You repeat his question, glancing at him to see if he’s serious. His face is riddled with confusion - definitely serious. “Because I love you. And they might have doubts about you, but I have faith in your ability to lead, and I believe you’d be a good father, too.”

Now he crinkles his nose. “Why?”

“Well the man who raised you barely did at all. He isolated you, and hurt you, and treated you like crap just because you were born differently. And despite that, and despite a few bumps along the way, you’ve proven you’re capable of deep, gentle love. You prove it to me daily, and you’ve proven patience at your job and with Bonnie, and understanding. You’ve managed to survive despite the circumstances you’ve been given, and all those things are traits I know you would teach a child, because you’d do everything to prevent raising them like your father raised you; to make sure they grow up in a loving environment, like one you should’ve been given. And, you’d teach them how to survive in this coven, because unfortunately, as leader, you’re still tied to them, but you would teach them how to remain strong. And even if we ever happen to have twins and they’d need to merge, you’d still make sure their lives are meaningful before it.”

Kai’s quiet for a while. “If we did that, I wouldn’t want it just for the benefit of the coven. It would be out of my love for you, and if we have a desire to have kids. Not like Jo, where it was an accident, but not like my father, who only needed a leader.”

You kiss his head. “I agree.”

“So you would be okay with that? If we did, at some point?”

“Of course. When the time comes for that, we can talk about it more, but yes.”

“Good, because I’m not ready now.” He relaxes, but then stiffens again. “But wait, Jo… if we’re trying to beat her to this, don’t we need to do it now?”

You choose your next words carefully, unsure if they even hold any meaning. “Well… if I’m understanding it correctly, the leader’s twins would be next in line, regardless if there’s another set in the family. So even if Jo’s are, say, nine or ten, if we have a set, wouldn’t they be next in line?”

“But they don’t want to continue my line because of the siphon gene.”

“Yes, but you’re still the leader, so maybe we can argue that when the time comes. Besides, we can’t do anything about it now. She’s eight months and I’m, obviously, not even in the same playing field.” You rub his arm comfortingly, or at least, hoping it’ll bring him comfort in light of your next few words. “Maybe… okay. First off, I don’t think Jo wants to participate in the merge with her future kids. She’s already tried to escape this family once, I doubt she wants her kids brought back in it. So maybe if we have a set, she’ll just let them take over.”

“But she might merge them just to prevent my line from continuing in leadership.”

“Or, she might welcome kids raised by you and I to lead instead, if we can prove to her we can raise good kids,” you half-joke. He nods. “Because as much animosity as she has towards you, I really don’t think she wants her kids following in coven tradition. Even so, if she does merge hers, we can just follow right up with ours and take it back.” Kai lets out a small chuckle. “But even if hers do take the leadership, I don’t think they’ll try to hurt you. By then, you’ll be settled in, and we’re already far away from your father. Jo trusts me, I think, and we can continue to make peace with her. We’ll be okay. You’ll be safe, I promise. As long as you’re with me-”

“-I’m safe.”

“Exactly.” You kiss him. “And if by somehow there’s a huge falling out and the coven does get violent again,” you shrug, “we’ll just become vampires.”

At first he laughs, but then grows serious as the words hit him. “You’d really do that with me? Transition and live forever just to keep them from killing me?”

“Mhm. I would live a thousand lives as long as I have you with me in all of them.”

#kai parker x reader #malachai parker x reader #kai parker oneshot #tvd fanfiction #tagging this was so hard

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thelegendofstella · 4 years ago

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Sephiroth’s true eye color (among other things)

Ever since I got into FF7 stuff I’ve wondered about Sephiroth’s rather inconsistent eye color over the media he’s appeared in (which is a lot), and I think I finally have an answer for it, as well as answers for other slightly unexplained phenomena. Warning you now, this will be fairly long and full of spoilers for multiple games in the series, yet hopefully informative.

Sephiroth is best known for his green, cat-pupiled eyes, among other things, and that’s generally the accepted eye color for him in fan works and such. But his eyes are actually light blue, and not just mainly in spinoffs. There will be a TL;DR in about the middle of the post for one interesting point, and another at the end for the whole post in general.

Disclaimer: This isn't intended to be a "this is the right way to portray Sephiroth's eye color" gatekeeping thing, this is just an analysis of an element of character design that went way too deep and is breaking Tumblr as we speak hfsdgyfudgfsd

Evidence, theories and such under cut-- all 63 images (yes, you heard me, be warned) either come from various wikis as official art/screenshots/etc. or are my own screenshots:

In Final Fantasy 7, where this mess all started, his iconic official art has green eyes:

But in all other art, models, etc. for the game, even the Ultimania scan, his eyes are light blue (or some sort of blue in general):

Of course, you could argue that Sephiroth’s official art also has blue eyes if you stare at it hard enough, but at first glance it’s more green than blue, and with the amount of green-eyed art I’ve seen, I’m sure many people have just accepted that his eyes are green and nothing more.

Several other games in the main series also portray Sephiroth’s eyes as light blue, sometimes borderline colorless depending on the lighting:

I particularly curse Advent Children for it’s washed-out aesthetic because in the darker scenes it completely masks Sephiroth’s real eye color. Thank the gods for HD screenshots.

However, there is a very interesting phenomenon that only seems to happen in Last Order, the 25-minute animated retelling of the Nibelheim Incident and Zack and Cloud’s escape 5 years after. No one seems to have noticed this yet, to my knowledge, so I’ll go through this as clearly as I can.

When Zack confronts Sephiroth in the reactor, the latter’s eyes are light blue:

It isn’t very obvious due to the mako glow tint and his face being in shadow, but I’d think green eyes would look different here, so they are light blue. They stay light blue for a while after this, until Zack begins to fight him and parries him onto the ceiling (anime physics...), resulting in this peculiar scene:

Light blue into green. Literally, you can see it happening in the actual video. This happens a second time when Sephiroth has Cloud skewed on Masamune, just more subtly:

Again, light blue into green(er). Definitely something funky going on here. It goes back to light blue when Cloud tosses him away, though:

And speaking of Cloud... he, too, shows very obvious eye color change directly after this scene, as seen below:

In the video they are visibly, animatedly glowing, it’s not just me discerning between two different flat shades of color. Keep in mind this is before he gets mako poisoned and Jenova-celled and whatnot, so this isn’t due to SOLDIER enhancements. What gives?

Here’s my take: it’s the Lifestream. People are made of Lifestream like everything else in in the FF7 universe, and it’s common knowledge that Lifestream/mako can do some pretty weird shenanigans. SOLDIERs are literally pumped full of the stuff and have seemingly superhuman abilities, and that’s just the lower-ranking ones. But the series has also placed a lot of emphasis on willpower, which Cloud post-experimentation struggles with due to the J-cells and stuff. A lot of people with particularly bright or “glowing” eyes have expressed an incredible amount of willpower, some of which include Cloud, Sephiroth (unsurprising), and Aerith:

Aerith’s eyes have always been incredibly bright in the series, regardless of which game you reference. Remake especially makes this obvious, as it seems like every close-up shot of her makes her eyes the centerpiece regardless of lighting, setting, etc.:

Like, seriously, they almost seem to glow they’re so bright. But here’s the kicker: Aerith is a Cetra, and the Cetra, obviously, communicate with the Planet... or, in other words, have an incredibly strong willpower that influences things. It’s been stated before by various people and media that Sephiroth and Aerith are two sides of the same coin, but not quite like this, I think. Cloud shows a similar phenomenon in his close-up shots as well, though the artificial SOLDIER glow is most likely contributing to most of it:

Compare these to younger Cloud in the Nibelheim flashback, when he was more innocent and had no need for incredible willpower, artificial or not:

Going back to Cloud in Last Order, the point we can make about him in particular is that when he was stabbed, literally at death’s door, he drew on his inner Lifestream for the strength to toss Sephiroth away. People have wondered for years about how this moment was even possible besides Protagonist Syndrome, and this may be the answer.

If this is the case, then this could apply to anyone: Aerith, Sephiroth, Zack, hell even Tifa seems to have slightly glowing eyes in the Remake sometimes-- and sure, it may be just the game engine making sure we can actually see their eyes in key cutscenes... but it ties into canon lore and actually makes sense, so I’m sticking with that. It’s also not a coincidence that Aerith specifically has green eyes, too, since the Lifestream in general is green-colored and whatnot.

Midpoint TL;DR: people with lots of inner willpower can call on their own Lifestream to give them strength, resulting in “glowing” or even color-changing eyes depending on how much Lifestream/mako they have in them. SOLDIERs, for example, would fall in the latter category... the most extreme being Sephiroth.

Now that's we're back at Sephiroth, another interesting point is that his eye color in Remake is consistently light blue, or some blue variation depending on the lighting, with green centers, as seen below:

Cloud obviously shares the same eye color pattern by this point because it's implied that he has the same if not slightly more mako in him than Sephiroth, which very conveniently also equates to him having the same if not slightly more willpower than Sephiroth.

An honorable mention goes to the Remnants, since they, too, follow the light blue with green centers pattern, appearing to fluctuate between the two colors at certain times:

With all of that said and done, I’ll wrap this up by going through Sephiroth’s appearances in side games and other franchises as quickly as I can:

1) The Dissidia series (Dissidia, 012/Duodecim, NT, Opera Omnia) almost always portrays Sephiroth with light blue eyes in art, renders, and models, occasionally with a hint of green in them:

A very interesting exception is NT Sephiroth's Safer Sephiroth costume, which has completely white eyes in all three of its alts. Yes, it's basically just a cosmetic costume, but it's still worthy to note for comprehensive purposes:

2) World of Final Fantasy’s Sephiroth has light blue eyes:

3) Record Keeper Sephiroth’s sprites are very obviously based on the original FF7 official art where he has green eyes (yes, I checked the colors by hand, they're all in the greener sections of the color wheel):

4) The Kingdom Hearts series is particularly unique because it features a blue-eyed Sephiroth but with an explicit reason for it. Kingdom Hearts 1 simply says that Sephiroth is part of Cloud’s past, but Kingdom Hearts 2 literally has Cloud saying “I'll get him. This time we settle it. Me, and the one who embodies all the darkness in me.”, and then explicitly clarifying that it’s Sephiroth he’s talking about. Sephiroth even shares Cloud’s facial shape, which is particularly obvious in KH2 renders:

All other Sephiroth appearances in the KH series also feature him with blue eyes, except for any usage of material from other media.

5) Itadaki Street games feature Sephiroth with green eyes:

6) Puzzles and Dragons features a rare teal-eyed Sephiroth:

And finally 7) All other Sephiroth appearances in spinoffs and other media feature him with light blue, blue, or rare teal eyes, except for sprites, which are (most likely) reused from Record Keeper:

And that’s FINALLY a wrap. All my evidence for Sephiroth’s actual eye color in one place, and even a theory on why it can potentially fluctuate between that and the iconic green.

Actual TL;DR: Sephiroth’s eyes are actually light blue in 90% of his appearances, and the remaining 10% either comes from temporary green-ness or partial green-ness thanks to mako/Lifestream stuff, or spinoffs.

There is one small point I’d like to make at the end of this, and that is the remaining mystery of why Sephiroth’s pupils are even slitted and cat-like in the first place. That... is far more ambiguous in terms of evidence than the eye color. Some series, particularly the Kingdom Hearts series, have them as regular round pupils, while others sometimes if not most of the time give him the cat-like ones. I may make another in-depth analysis post trying to figure it all out, but for now I’ll say that it may just simply be a result of the Jenova cells he has or something along those lines.

If you made it this far down and didn’t just instantly scroll past my massive log of images and sundry, thank you so much for reading all of this! If you did just instantly scroll past, I don't blame you. I guess I'm in proper Sephiroth hell now, lol.

I hope you have a great day and that things turn out well for you fhjksdgfyhughuhyudfs

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missdawnandherdusk · 5 years ago

Text

Something Old

Draco X Gryffindor!Reader

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight

Part Nine

Summary: Now that winter break was upon you, you finally had time to look into what your mother told you about as well as confront the other parent in the situation, the one you dread to think about and the one Draco had to live with.

A/N: Hello my darling loves! We’re finally getting somewhere with plot! And lore! And Latin! ((Seriously, something is lost when you know Latin and can translate the spells on the top of your head... it’s less... magical. But funny because the spells mean exactly what they’re doing and I don’t know if that a cheap lazy move or brilliant.)) Let me know what you guys think! Also I’m toying with the idea of uploading this to AO3... would you guys want that? Love you guys, stay safe.

Tags: @un-limiteddd @geekysimmerthings @coffee-addicti @ilikestuffproductions @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @dolphincommander @bisexualbumblebeesstuff @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe

Snape eyed me as I smiled through my exam, on cloud none the entire way. I had gotten through my History of Magic exam no problem and now Snape wanted us to recreate our Bellum Amoris antidotes. Weeks of worrying and I was finished with the second fastest time.

Draco beat me by a few minutes—he was allowed to the ingredients first—and we walked out of the exam hand in hand, not caring much about anyone who decided to gawk at us.

I was in too good of a mood. The term was done for the winter, I had finished all of my exams, and I wouldn’t be alone for the holidays when I remained at Hogwarts this year as I had the years before.

“I told you, you had nothing to worry about,” Draco nudged my shoulder. “Except beating my time of course.” A grin stretched across his face. “Which you couldn’t of course,”

I rolled my eyes and let out a laugh.

“I think I’ll be okay missing one point because I wasn’t as fast as you,” I drawled.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re dreading the fact,” He teased back as we made our way to the Great Hall. “Have you heard anything from your mother?” His voice lowered.

“Not yet, thought I suppose she’s waiting to hear from me,” I mumbled.

“You didn’t answer her!?” Draco grew agitated.

“I did,” I reaffirmed, giving him a look. “But I said that I would talk about it later when we had time to... figure things out? I didn’t know what to say...”

“We’re gonna figure this out,” He reassured as we entered the Great Hall that was really magical with the Christmas decorations and warmth from the people within.

“Y/n! Draco!”

We both tensed until we saw Hermione waving at us along with the four Weasleys and Harry. No one was glaring at us—Draco—so I took that as a good sign as we sat down for dinner.

It was easy to sink into the familiarity and safety of the school, but with the Yule Ball coming, worry nagged at my mind. It was a big deal and an even bigger deal to pure-bloods. Another occasion to show off and “be better” than everyone else. My mother wouldn’t care, and I knew that... but Draco’s parents—father—had to have something to say about it and it worried me.

“Have you heard from your father?” I asked in a soft voice during dinner when the others were concerned with the upcoming task for the tournament.

His expression darkened as he glared at his plate.

So, yes then.

“Dray,” I whispered softly, rubbing his arm softly. “What happened?”

“Not here,” He said curtly, his eyes dancing around the merry scene around us.

I nodded and we both put on masks of calm and ease through dinner. His hand held mine throughout and we both lost our appetites. Maybe I should have written my mother a bit more than the vague note I gave. She would know what to do.

____________________________

Draco had gotten the letter last night, before he sent you the invitation to dinner. It what prompted him to send it in the first place. He knew that you could take away the depressing cloud that hovered whenever his father spoke to him.

And you did, almost easily. When he was with you, it was easy to focus on your smile, the way your hair fell into and out of place constantly, the way you almost danced down the hallways because you always gave off the demeanor of not having a care or fear in the world. It rubbed off on him. He’d rather be frustrated with the simple secrets that you kept than frustrated with the conflict about family and legacies.

And you were exactly what he needed last night. Your warmth, and comfort, the games you played and gentle touched you gave and small sounds that were his now to hold. But there were

still dark moments of the night that he couldn’t escape when his father’s words weighed him down.

Draco would never understand how you managed to pick up on the fact that his father had sent him something. Maybe he hadn’t given it away and you were just worrying again.

After dinner the two of you split up for some time, to drop off books and changed from school uniforms and in your case hopefully to find something warmer to wear.

Draco almost didn’t want to take you up to the Astronomy Tower because it was so frigid outside. He racked his brain for anywhere else to go in the school that offered solidarity and warmth. He could sneak you into the Slytherin dorms... but it might pose a danger to you as his house wasn’t as welcoming as yours had been to his relationship with you. The library seemed to be the best place at the moment to finally start looking into what was going on.

He met you outside you Common Room, as always and the two of you walk together. he had taken your books from you the moment you stepped out and though you gave him a curt you, you said nothing.

“I was thinking maybe we go to the library,” He offered. “It’s too cold for you in the Tower.” You hummed in agreement, silent in your thoughts again.

“It’ll probably be empty because of the end of term,” You mused, nodding as if you had settled on the idea.

“You’re quiet again,” He noted, the notion bothering him more than he thought.

“Thinking,”

“Now there’s an idea.” He teased as the two of you sat in a back table in the vacant library.

__________________________

It wasn’t the same as being alone with him in the Astronomy Tower, but it was much warmer being surrounded by lit fires and a million books.

“Where do you want to start?” The question slipped through as I pulled out parchment and quill to take notes.

I knew the last thing he wanted to talk about was his father, but that’s what worried me the most. It was all for naught if his father could get between us and make whatever this had become into a tragedy. As if he knew this, he slid a folded parchment over to me, not meeting my eyes.

Taking it, I took a breath in and opened it:

Draco,

I have heard many rumors about you, and I pray that none of them are true. You have been raised better than to fraternize a Lupine let alone allow her to kiss you. It is atrocious behavior and it will stop immediately.

They are a disgrace to pure bloods everywhere and are almost worse than the Weasleys. I have raised you with higher standards than this. I am appalled to even hear that these things might be going on.

I do not want you to go near her. I want to hear nothing of you being with her or the people she considers friends. Do not believe her lies or the things that she tells you. It is what the Lupines do. They lie and bend the truth into something that is horrendous. It is what they have always done, and you know this.

She is nothing more than a she-demon come to ruin everything that I have built for you and to steal everything that I have worked all my life to give you.

You are a Malfoy. Do not forget that.

I am beyond disappointed to hear this. Correct what has been done immediately.

Your Father,

Lucius Malfoy

I frowned at the letter as I read it a few more times, trying to figure out what I wanted to address first. At the moment, I just wanted to send this to my mother and see what she would do knowing the fire in her was stronger than mine. But I didn’t do any of that.

Instead, I placed the letter down and looked up to wary blue eyes. “Well,” I whispered. “What are you going to do?”

“What do you mean what am I going to do?” He snapped; a soft look from me and he took a deep breath, calming.

“If... I know that I’ve dragged you into this. And that you didn’t have much of a choice. So, if you want to... I...” My gaze fell to my lap as I tried to find the right words to tell him... to let him go.

“Why would you think—”

“Because I don’t want you to get talked down to like this by someone who’s supposed to love you!” I threw the letter on the table. “I’m... I’m not worth ruining... You shouldn’t be treated like an errant child because you’re talking to me,”

“I’m always treated like an errant child Y/n,” He scoffed. “Now at least I have a good reason.”

“What?” I looked up, the frown returning to my face.

“Nothing I ever did for my father has been good enough. I think landing in Slytherin was the last time he was actually proud of something that I did.” Draco picked up the letter and rolled his eyes, tearing it in half.

“What are you doing?” I demanded.

“What I should have done when I got this letter,” He muttered, tossing it into the nearest fireplace.

I marveled at him, a small smile playing at my lips. I had hoped he would choose me, but now that he had, something heavy was lifted from my shoulders. Though I still wasn’t quite taken with how his father talked to him, but I knew it wasn’t my place to go against Lucius no matter how much of a...

Never mind.

“Now, to the books?” He sat back down, picking up the book I had taken from him not too long ago and he leafed through the pages.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly for a moment and whispering a small thanks before we settled in to read. Taking another book—The Nature of a Soul— from the stack, we got to work. My eyes scanned the table of contents and then the pages.

...Every person has a soul created of the either stars, or earth. Those who have earthen souls are born without magic, but those with Souls of The Stars will grow to be wizards. It is not genetics that decides but the universe itself...

I scribbled down notes as I read, leafing through pages.

...Souls born of the same matter bond to another. It is rare for a Soul of The Stars to bond, but when it does happen it is the work of the universe and no man or magic can break it. This was known as the Consentire Animi Pace. Seers of our kind have often prophesied about Great Darkness that would take hold before these Animi came to unite what was unraveled by generations past. Millenia has passed since this foretelling and it is doubted to exist...

I nudged Draco and showed him the page, watching the way his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he gnawed on his lip when he read something due to concentration. It made me smile.

“Great Darkness?” He muttered softly.

“You know as well as I do who it could be,” My voice was soft and hesitant.

I knew that Draco’s father had fought alongside Voldemort in the first war and I wondered what happened if it came down to it, what would Draco choose? With what I knew from Harry’s

adventures and life story, the threat of Voldemort loomed now more than ever. Was that the Great Darkness that the text referred to?

“This talks about a prophecy,” He murmured, pulling the book that he was reading. “That might be what this is, I can only make out some of it...”

He showed me the carpet page filled with intricate designs and detailed lettering. Some of the page was burned away, leaving half in its wake. I ran my hand softly over the artwork before reading the script:

Nox defluet et malum surget.

Dos Animī consentiens

Eō die, nox non vincet

Cum illī ...

I stared at the text, grabbing my parchment and slowly translating.

“What do you know?” I asked softly. “What could you translate?”

“Nox is night, malum, evil...” His brow furrowed again.

“Night... falls—will fall and evil will rise. Two souls... joining?” I wrote down what I could. “On that day, night will not conquer, because these souls...”

“You can read this?” He was baffled.

I shrugged. “Just some Latin. Mother taught it to me. That’s why spells are so easy for me... it’s just Latin all I have to do is translate.”

“Bloody hell that’s genius,” He muttered.

“But some of the prophecy is missing... I think most of it probably.” I mused, leafing through the book to see if I could find anything else.

“Do you really think that this is about is though?” He asked softly, timid. “Even if it’s not... it’s still something to know. And it might be important.”

“The only person who would see this as important is Trelawney.” Draco scoffed, leaning back in his chair.

“Maybe she’s the one we really need to talk to if prophecies are caught up in all of this.” I thought aloud. “Did you find anything else?” I looked up from my notes.

“Nothing of use. You?”

“Souls apparently are made from either stars or earth and magic or muggle has nothing to do with genetics,” I shrugged, reading over my notes. “So that’s new I guess.”

“What do you mean it has nothing to do with blood?” He snapped.

“I read it; I didn’t say that it was law. And what does it matter anyway? Magic is magic, no matter who uses it or doesn’t.” I defended, narrowing my eyes.

He grumbled and folded his arms sulking.

“Draco,” I chided, but gave up the notion.

I knew it would take time to undo what his father had engrained in him. Maybe this was step one.

Soon after finding nothing more about the prophecy or soul matter, Pince said that she was closing the library for the night and that we should head to bed before curfew. Returning the books to their proper places, Draco and I walked quietly along the halls.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Draco sighed, taking my hand. “Forgive me?”

I nodded and offered a small smile.

“We grew up in different worlds, it was bound to clash eventually.”

“Doesn’t make it right for me to take it out on you,”

I raised an eyebrow at him, a smug smile finding its way to my face.

“Yeah, yeah shut up.” He muttered.

“One step at a time,”

We walked along in thought, no words needing to be spoken. Pausing outside the Gryffindor portrait, Draco leaned down and pressed a soft and gentle kiss to my lips.

“Goodnight Y/n,”

“Goodnight Draco,”

There were words stuck on the tips of our tongue that neither of us dare to utter but felt all the same:

I love you.

Part 11?

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ampleappleamble · 4 years ago

Text

—

Axa could feel them watching her as they settled into their room at the Goose and Fox that night, could feel them wanting to know her. Not only so they could understand why she had done what she had with Purnisc and Kaenra, but also so they could (no doubt) uncover and examine all the painful, humiliating life experiences behind her every decision, all her successes and failures, and then judge her accordingly. Like kith will, she thought, of course. That’s normal and healthy to think.

Genuine concern mingled with morbid curiosity, hung palpably over the group like a scythe posed to reap as everyone sat in awkward silence and waited for Axa to break the silence. So she drained her goblet, got out her pipe and her whiteleaf, and with a grim sense of determination, she told them about it.

About the career she'd built back in Ixamitl, where she had lucked into a scholarship to one of her hometown's more prestigious lore colleges, bestowed on her by a generous politician acquainted with her father. Because she'd always loved to learn and hear stories about kith from around the world, she had chosen to put her good fortune to good use and study to become a naturalist, concerning herself with the cultures and languages and histories that constituted the kith population of Eora.

While most of her colleagues had decided to specialize in Vailian– a popular choice for the political or business-oriented crowd– Axa fancied herself an intellectual, and so she had challenged herself with mastering Ordhjóma: the exotic, mysterious language of the Glamfellen, separated for 10,000 years from their tropical Sceltrfolc cousins in the far-flung, frozen south, in The White that Wends. She had thrown herself into her studies, blowing through massive tomes and ancient scrolls like a hurricane, outperforming her peers with ease. Within four years, Axa had risen like a Dawnstar to the top of her class.

And then the field work had begun.

"It's one thing to read about a people, learn their language from books and study up on their culture," Axa explained, stuffing her pipe slowly, taking her time. "It's quite another to visit their homeland, speak with them, live among them. I was barely seventeen, I'd never even been out of the city..."

Kana winced, painful recognition in his black eyes. "Culture shock can be particularly difficult for younger scholars. We have certain expectations after all our years of academic study, and to find out that the genuine article doesn't quite measure up after all that work can feel disorienting and disappointing. There's not only the shock, there's anger at the natives, and then the guilt over said anger..."

Axa accepted Aloth's proffered light while Kana trailed off– it always delighted her, using arcane flame for something so trivial as a smoke– and sighed. "That's what was really odd about it. I did experience some culture shock, but ultimately the problem wasn't me. It was them. I know it sounds like I'm just being bitter, but... honestly, for whatever reason, the whole village really was actively freezing me out."

"Nice," Edér chuckled, grinning at the unintentional pun until Aloth's glare chastised him back into solemnity.

"No one wanted to talk to me," Axa continued. "Oh, I tried, incessantly, but they just... kept turning away, or answering with nonsense or... or riddles. My colleagues had little difficulty integrating, but I felt like I was just barely tolerated by the villagers. I tried asking the other students about it, but they either feigned ignorance really well or they honestly couldn't tell what these Glamfellen had against me."

"Some sort of... racial prejudice, perhaps?" Aloth looked as uncomfortable as he sounded, but at least the topic was finally broached. Axa shrugged.

"I don't think so, but I honestly have no idea. The other three scholars with me weren't orlans, but they weren't Glamfellen either. And no one ever specifically said anything about my being an orlan."

Sagani nodded. "In my experience, while most Glamfellen tend to be as standoffish as any elf– no offense, Aloth– they don't usually have specific prejudices like that."

"Right? Ordinarily, unity and hospitality are taken very seriously in the frozen south; to support one another is indispensable to survival. Nevertheless, I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong by them, and it was driving me out of my gods damned mind. I was supposed to be studying local accents, dialects, and colloquialisms, but that's somewhat difficult when nobody will actually speak with you. So I ended up spending a lot of time eavesdropping on people, mostly outside, by myself."

Sagani shook her head, drawing her whetstone across her hunting knife. "Bad idea to go it alone out there in the White. All kinds of dangers hiding in the snow."

The orlan barked a sharp, sardonic laugh. "You're telling me. That's how I met Vaargys."

As soon as his name was out of her mouth, Axa could feel her entire demeanor transform, and the atmosphere in the room with her. It was the first time she'd said his name since she'd left home, and even though she knew they'd already been listening, her little audience really seemed to be listening now. She felt her face get warm and her eyes sting from the impending tears, so she turned to the window, trying hard to focus on the streets outside and not at her own reflection in the glass.

Come on, girl. You’ve run far enough. It's time you faced this.

"I spotted him from afar one day at dusk: a dark, distant, shaggy figure out there among the rocks, shambling around just beyond the village's borders. It took me a few minutes to even realize he was kith. My colleagues noticed me watching him eventually, warned me away from him: the 'wild man' the locals called the 'Cursed Vagabond,' the 'Exiled Priest.' And he was out there all alone, struggling to survive because nobody wanted him around, and no one could say why..."

"You had a lot in common," Aloth murmured gravely. It wasn't difficult to see where this story was going. And he couldn't help but think it sounded similar, thematically, to one he knew quite well.

"And kith will paint a face on a rock with their own blood if it means they can have someone to talk to," Sagani sighed sadly, sympathy heavy in her chest. She could see where this was going too, and she dug her fingers into the thick fur on the back of Itumaak's neck for comfort. He grunted in appreciation.

"So I introduced myself, like you do. He was... cautious, but receptive. It helped that I'd brought gifts." Axa exhaled, and blue smoke curled up before her, walling her off. "We got to know one another, and over time we became fond of each other. We started sharing meals and stories about ourselves, our lives. He told me he was a priest of Wael, self-taught, and exiled from his clan for venerating the Eyeless Face instead of the Beast of Winter... He let me get close to him, cut his hair, tend to his wounds..." The tears spilled over at last, and she paused for a moment, hid her face.

"And you fell in love," Sagani finished for her. Classic. Tale as old as time.

Axa smiled again even as she brushed her tears away, dragging her little fist across her golden brown cheeks. "And I fell hard. I was his first real friend, gave him his first kiss. And very soon, I became his first lover." This made the men blush and look away. Axa and Sagani paid them no heed.

"I was fascinated by him, and he adored me. We made our own little world together there in the caves, in the snow. And we lived there, separate from everyone and everything else. Until I had to return to Ixamitl, of course. But I had a plan: Before I could talk myself out of it, I asked him to marry me– the very night before I was to return to the Eastern Reach. ...Gods, I had known him for only five months."

"And... wait, how old were you?" Edér spoke up for the first time since Axa had started her story, confusion clear on his face.

"I– Seventeen, almost eighteen by the time I went back home," she clarified, miffed at the interruption. "I'm twenty-two, now."

The blond man held his hands out in front of him, squinting at his fingers, baffled. "And... and how old were you when you left home? Hey, how old was he?"

Kana sighed and leaned over, patting him on the shoulder with one huge hand and confiscating the man's pipe with the other. "Erh– Never mind that now, my friend. Please, Axa, continue." He smiled that big, toothy smile at the little woman, and she blinked very slowly.

"...I brought him home to meet my family and colleagues, to assist me in my studies since all I'd really brought back from the Land was him, and ultimately, hopefully, to become my husband. In the interest of brevity– albeit somewhat belated– here’s how all that turned out: my family and colleagues hated and distrusted him, and after I had defended him so fiercely I'd alienated myself from most of my peers, I found out that about three-quarters of everything he'd ever told me about his home and his language was complete horseshit and all of our work together was complete bunkum. So! I burned it all in a big bonfire behind our house before telling him to leave and never come back." She ticked her misfortunes off on her fingers as she described them, her hands trembling, and then gesticulated fiercely before letting her fists fall to the small tabletop before her. "And then... I left, too. And now, here I am."

...Gods, that was easy. Much easier than I thought it'd be. Why was it so–

She rambled on before she could lose her nerve. "So. That's why I... wanted to do that for Kaenra. My fiancé lied to me and fucked up my life, too, and I can't just ignore that kind of shit when I see it anymore." She sighed, turning to the window again with her pipe still burning away in her hand. "Vaargys is the reason I had to leave my home and everything I've ever known, because his lies ruined my career and my academic standing and my reputation. How could I just stand by and watch as it happened to someone else?"

"Yet, you advised Kaenra to forgive Purnisc?" Aloth twisted his fingers together in his lap, staring at them rather than looking at Axa as he spoke. "After... all he'd done?"

Sagani glanced at him, narrowing her eyes as he reached up to smooth his hair– and wipe away a stray bead of sweat in the process. Is it my imagination, or is he...?

Axa kept her gaze fixed on the street below. "Yeah, that sort of surprised me too, to be honest." She spotted a stray soul, its violet wisps of essence drifting slowly amongst the city goers, and she squeezed her eyes shut, felt them burn behind her eyelids. "I suppose... I just got the feeling that it wasn't too late for them, that what they had for each other wasn't so broken it couldn't be repaired. Vaargys and me... not so. There was no coming back from what he'd done, and we both knew it."

"Whatever became of him? Of Vaargys?" Kana leaned forward eagerly, his eyes shining with compassion. For once, he actually wasn't taking notes on the conversation, and Sagani noticed that, too.

Axa opened her eyes, and saw the lost soul on the street no more. She shuddered. "After I confronted him, Vaargys simply... left. Vanished into the horizon, just as abruptly as he'd first appeared to me. And then, I got to clean up after him– after us– all alone. I wasn't up to the task; wasn't really up to the task of anything but hiding in bed and regretting my entire life. I could really only scrape together the wherewithal every now and then to go out and sell off or give away all the ridiculous trinkets and baubles we'd accumulated together. A few of the things I tried to get rid of turned out to be stolen, of course– big surprise, Axa, he's a thief and a liar– which did my already brutalized image no favors. Nor my purse, when I was obliged to pay out of my pocket for his chicanery."

"Villain," Kana spat, shaking his head slowly. "Scoundrel! ...Oh, how dastardly, to sow discord between the woman he loves and her neighbors and colleagues, then to abscond, completely free of reproach!" His sorrowful frown was as huge and expressive as his smiles always were, almost theatrically so.

Sagani just barely looked over in time to spot Aloth surreptitiously roll his eyes, and she couldn't suppress her grin. I thought so. Ondra's Lure, they're pretty obvious now that I think of it...

The elf cleared his throat and took the reins. "Shall we assume, then, that your family and friends were unable or unwilling to aid you in your time of need?"

Axa scoffed. "My little brother was sympathetic, but ultimately powerless to help me. He's stuck too far under our mother's thumb. He's a Godlike, and it's made things... difficult, for both of them. He feels obligated to her. As for our mother, she blamed me for my own misfortunes, for 'shacking up' with a man like Vaargys in the first place. So... that sort of says it all about our relationship. My father hasn't been in the picture since I was 13, and any non-academic friends I hadn't already traded for school, I ended up trading for Vaargys. I'd made him my whole world, and he–" She stopped herself, puffed on her pipe. "I don't... really make new friends easily. Never have."

Kana laughed good-naturedly. "With all due respect, present company seems to indicate quite the contrary."

"Ha! Since becoming a Watcher with her own castle who offers to help everyone she meets solve all their problems, I do seem to be quite popular, yes," the orlan agreed with a wry smirk. "...I jest, of course. In any case, the friends I do make, I tend to keep. And cherish." She smiled at Kana earnestly, and now he averted his eyes and went ruddy in the face.

Sagani and Aloth surprised one another, simultaneously faking coughing fits to cover their derisive snorts. Kana went even redder, but still managed a sheepish smile as Axa quickly redirected back to the topic at hand.

"In any case, it was my mother who gave me the idea to relocate to the Dyrwood. She brought back the notice advertising the caravan from the marketplace, threw it at me as I lay in my little nest of quilts and despair, and told me I had better either try and do something to rebuild my life or I may as well just return my soul to the Wheel to start a new one, save it some time and trouble."

"So... in response to your fiancé sabotaging your career and your reputation in your own home community, your own mother told you to... choose between self-exile and suicide?" Aloth spoke very quietly, very carefully. When Axa nodded and shrugged, puffing nonchalantly on her pipe, he couldn't quite come up with anything to say to that.

"As harsh as it sounds," she pressed on as she rose and crossed the room to stand before the hearth, "I agreed with her. I still do. Mama grew up a slave and only finally earned her freedom by running away, so maybe she's biased, but... I was never going to be able to move on like that, lying around like I was dead already, surrounded by bad memories. I had to do something, get up and get out. And wouldn’t it be my luck, she dropped a nice, pre-packaged escape plan in my lap, just like that. Nicest thing she'd done for me in a good long while. ...So. That's what lead me to the Dyrwood."

"And then it lead you to the bîaŵac, the Engwithan ruins, the machine," Kana murmured, rubbing his chin and studying the little woman. "Perchance, did you ever pray to Wael that you might live an interesting life? Because if so, you've had your wish granted many times over!"

"It's funny," Axa sighed as she bent and tapped her pipe against the bricks of the fireplace, "you'd think I'd hold a grudge against Wael, allowing Their priest to make a fool of me like that. But in the end, I had to admit that although he betrayed my trust and wrecked my life, Vaargys hadn't actually ever violated any of Wael's tenets. ...Made me rethink the gods, a bit. Maybe he was a true servant of Wael after all, sent to guide me here for some reason. And I do still pray to Wael for guidance, on occasion."

The aumaua sat up in his chair, beaming. "Ah! Shall we go to the Hall of Revealed Mysteries tomorrow after all, then? We can ask the scriveners' opinion!"

"Gods! I spill my guts to you, and you're still thinking about going to the library?" Axa shook her head and chuckled. "You're a mystery, Kana."

"Wait, so... you were gonna marry a pale elf?" Edér mumbled into his pillow, half asleep and trying to kick his boots off. "But you're an orlan. Would that... how would that work?"

The little woman threw the sheets back on her bed, using a little more force than she'd meant to. "Another mystery, Edér," she snapped, rolling her eyes. "Mysteries abound."

The other two men winced as Sagani laid a gentle, steady hand on the orlan's shoulder. "Hey. ...Hel of a day for all of us. Let's call it a night, yeah?"

So they did.

—

#poe anthem infinitum #watcher axa #well! didn't think i'd be including that backstory in this chapter!#but that's how it shook out #next portion should be the last in ch. 9 i hope i hope i hope #story why are you so long but also somehow not descriptive enough #pillars of eternity

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mothdalf · 4 years ago

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DAY TWO: Findis and Írimë Lalwen

@finweanladiesweek

So this mainly focuses on the relationship between Findis and Fëanor rather than Lalwen but I’ll get to her later in the week.

Pics in order are:

Fëanor and baby Findis, Findis finally snapping at Fëanor, Findis and Lalwendë, and Findis gathering herbs for Estë in the Gardens of Lorien.

I’ve put todays rant under the cut but I’d recommend reading it because it really gives the pictures context.

As mentioned in my previous post Fëanáro is like the equivalent of a pre teen (like 10-12) when Finwë marries Indis, and he elects to travel for his studies rather than living with them full time.

He is a young teen when he gets a letter to tell him that he’s going to be a brother, and to say that he takes it badly is putting it mildly. He’s crushed. He’s been angry that his father is (at least in his mind) trying to replace his mother, but now he’s going to replace him? So he doesn’t send a letter back and throws himself into every distraction because he’s going to make damn sure that he’s better than anyone his father tries to replace him with.

Finwë turns up and half begs half drags him home in time to meet his sister the baby. He doesn’t want to and turns up to the nursery (not his old one) in his traveling clothes before being promptly turned around and told to put on something clean at least.

He plans to give a quick glance into the crib (also not his) and a curt “congratulations” before returning to his room to sulk. But it doesn’t pan out like that.

Because his new sister is perfect. Not that Fëanor has been around many children but he’s sure that she must be the most perfect one ever.

Later he will try and rationalise this to himself by pointing out that she’s so different to him that she could never be a replacement. For one, she’s a girl, he’s still his fathers only son, but even aside from that; she has green eyes and golden hair and long Vanyar ears. Nothing like him. Not a substitute. There can be enough room for them both. That’s why he likes her.

Whatever the reason, she’s beautiful, every tiny detail from her fluffy golden hair to her grasping, miniature fingers. So what he says is more of a strangled “wow” after a long pause.

Indis asks if he would like to hold her and sees a beaming smile on Fëanor’s face that she never thought would be directed at her.

He hesitates at first because he realises he’s faced (for the first time in a long time) with something he doesn’t know how to do. But Indis points him to a chair and places Findis in his arms, hands gentle as she positions them.

He coos to her instinctively and she squirms and wiggles and blinks up at him. That’s the moment Fëanor decides he’s going to have kids of his own someday, as many as possible.

Indis is surprised when he breaks the silence and addresses her “well done,” he says without looking up “she’s wonderful, perfect”

The phrasing is a little strange but Indis understands; he’s complimenting her on craftsmanship, for all their differences he’ll always acknowledge that.

It’s quiet again until someone comes to call him away for supper. Fëanor kisses Findis’ head before passing her back and, almost shyly, asks if he can come back to see her later.

So Findis spends the first few years of her life with an adoring big brother. He sends her gifts from his travels, or things he’s made, and dotes on her when he’s home.

Everything is great for a while, so no one is worried when Finwë and Indis announce they’re expecting their second child, not even Fëanor. But things don’t work out that way.

This post isn’t about Fëanor and Fingolfin though.

Fëanor gets distant. His vitriol for Fingolfin doesn’t extend to Lalwen and Finarfin but neither does his soft spot for Findis.

For her part Findis struggles with the tension. When she’s older her parents explain the situation, her heart aches for her big brother. She loves all of her siblings and she hates the atmosphere so she spends most of the time playing peacekeeper. She thinks it’s ridiculous for someone older than her to have such a problem with a child, especially one she herself loves so much. It’s much better when Fëanor is away, but she misses him.

So like her mother in looks and temper, Findis is composed and calm and shoulders the burden of trying to keep them all happy.

Fëanáro is now a young adult and an apprentice under Mahtan, so he’s not around that much, but when he is the fights are always the same. This time however something he says clicks for Findis.

“So that’s it, the reason you hate him and like me? Because he’s a threat and I’m not? You only like me because you’re glad I wasn’t a boy! I wasn’t important enough to be a problem for you!”

Fëanor being Fëanor it devolves into a screaming match. It ends with Findis swearing to show him how much of a threat she can be. She’s going to be better than him at something one day, just you wait and see.

She tries for a long time to find that something. It’s never going to be any craft with her hands and they’re pretty evenly matched musically, so she tries politics, that should really make her a threat.

Findis reads everything she can from the library, asks her father 100 questions a day, attends councils and meetings. She learns a lot, planning to catch Fëanor out one day, call him out for something in front of the council, actually oppose him. Only that day doesn’t come. Fëanor hasn’t quite gotten to the point that we know he’ll eventually reach, so Findis can’t find anything to actually oppose him on at the moment. Frustrated, and getting more bored by the day, she draws back from politics.

Around this time Indis is planning a trip to visit the Gardens of Lorien (read, Miriel), and asks her eldest to come with her, lightly hinting that it will be good for her to get away.

It’s during this trip that Findis finds exactly what she wants to do. She sees how happy her mother is to be able to be close to Vaire again (see my last post about how Indis is a devotee of Vaire) and starts to seriously consider doing the same. Fëanor would never do that.

But when she sees the Maiar and Elven devotees of Lorien and Este, the (admittedly very few) tired or injured people finding rest and care and peace there, she knows in her heart that this is for her. Findis will be a healer.

She goes to Este immediately to apply to join her followers.

Este denies her. She has no more knowledge or experience of healing than the basic studies of her youth. Yes, the work they do here is usually routine and calm, but before devoting her eternal life to it, Findis should really try to think whether healing is for her. Can she handle injuries? Blood? Has she ever seen someone in pain? Really in pain? Not a younger sibling tripping and grazing their knee, but a hunter thrown by a spooked horse? A smith burned in the forge? Did she watch her mother give birth to her younger siblings? Did she hear the screams?

She hasn’t, Findis acknowledges, but she’s more than willing to learn.

She journeys home to Tirion without her mother to begin her studies. She starts at the bottom, back to reading books she can barely understand, stubbornly pestering the healers guild with letters until she can find a teacher. She attends lectures and eventually demonstrations with other students, usually far younger, in plain clothes, and most politely pretend that they don’t know who she is. She dissects animals and identifies what she sees. Bundles all of her scrolls and papers and books on politics into a cupboard and starts refilling her study with labelled diagrams, notes from lectures, samples of herbs.

The books start to make a lot more sense.

For some time each year she visits Estë again, just as a volunteer. She also visits Valimar and Alqualondë to learn from healers outside of the Noldor.

She starts to practice, assisting more experienced healers, in between lectures.

She joins a healer on a trip to the forest of Oromë; and returns with no fear of blood or broken bones, unbothered by a piercing arrow wound or the black bruises of a kick from Nahar.

There’s a drive in Findis now that was never there for politics, she’s all but forgotten that this started as a way to stand out against her brother. There’s a burning passion and a satisfaction to what she does. Her mother smiles and says that it’s the Noldor blood coming through.

Findis starts to come into her own with herb-lore and medicines. She commandeers an area of the palace gardens for medicinal plants. Writes report after report, learns to administer what and when and how. She’s almost settled on this as her focus when she is asked to assist her current supervisor with the birth of a baby.

She knows the theory. She’s recommended certain herbs and supplements to expecting mothers. She has vague memories of her younger siblings just after they were born. But this is different. This is her focus. So she switches track, asking questions of her tutors and colleagues. Requesting to assist with births wherever she can. She seeks female healers, midwives, and the input of her mother and her friends with children of their own. She makes notes and studies of their experiences.

Findis excels. Eventually becoming a healer in her own right. Only then does she approach Estë again. For something special this time. Yes, she appeals to join Estë’s devotees, but she wants to keep her focus on women, and pregnancy, and birth. She learns even more now, the Noldor passion propping her up as she learns that Vanyar ways of healing song from the Ainur.

Often, she visits the body of (Auntie) Miriel. She asks for stories of her fading from those in Lorien, seeks the insight of Estë, Irmo, and Nienna, and finally questions her parents. Piecing things together, she reaches out to other mothers- those who she attended at birth, her friends, those whose children she’s treated. She asks them about their experiences, asking them to be honest, to fear no judgement and feel no shame. Did they ever feel as Míriel did?

Some did, some didn’t. Either way she assures them that they are not alone. Over years she builds notes and papers and case studies as she works and follows her path in the Gardens of Lorien.

Findis becomes revered and respected for her work.

One day she gets a letter from her brother, he’s heard about her work, inspired by his mother. He asks if he could read it, so she invites him and Nerdanel to Lorien, so that he can read her papers. When they arrive it’s clear why he wants to do this now. Fëanor is afraid that his wife will share his mother’s fate at the birth of their first son.

Before they go home they get a lot of assurance, a list of recommendations, and signs to watch out for, all courtesy of Findis and her research. She promises to be there if they have any questions, and to assist in the birth personally.

Her brother embraces her for a long time before he leaves. He tells her how grateful he is for her help, how much more peacefully he will sleep now. Fëanor has never been happier that his sister out did him at something, and Findis has never felt less competitive. Healing, she thinks, is about always learning and getting better. Smithing, she supposes, is much the same.

#my art #tolkien #the silmarillion #noldor #yott more like yeet #Vanyar #Findis #Fëanor #siblings #listen I had no idea where this was going #but Findis is a magical obgyn #finweanladiesweek #house of finwe

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thewalkingfanfictions · 5 years ago

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Teddy Bears and Memories -- Sam Winchester x Male!Reader

Teddy Bears and Memories — Sam Winchester x Male!reader

Description: (name) and his little sister are partnering with the Winchester brothers on a case. Everything's fine and dandy, they've already killed the creature and are hanging out at the motel for the night, when Maddie ((names) sister) decides to pull a prank on her brother, resulting in aggressive flashbacks, intense PTSD and a moose ready to comfort a crying friend.

⚠Warning⚠: IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY, DO NOT READ THIS. This deals with descriptions of rape, (though I tried to keep it vague) PTSD, flashbacks, and a kinda sorta mental breakdown. Cursing, grammar errors, and also quite a lot of negative and toxic thoughts.

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Pairing: Sam Winchester x sexually abused!male!reader

A/N: this is... kinda awful. Like, it made me cold reading this. Seriously don't read it if you get triggered easily. Also, the first, like, quarter, I wrote in a huge hurry, so ignore how trash it is. And its kinda writen shitily, but whatever.

Words without A/N: 4382

Masterlist

<—————————————>

"You gotta watch this," it was my sister. I would recognize her voice anywhere, even though she was whispering and clearly trying to keep me from hearing her. "He's terrified of them, its hilarious."

I wonder who she's dragging with her this time.

Deciding to let her continue to think she was sneaking up on me, I kept quiet and never moved my eyes from the lore book that I'd been studying for the past half hour. Though the case was over now, I still figured it would be a good idea to learn as much as I could about the Leeds' Devil, that way I'd know how to deal with it if we ever ran into another.

I could hear her creeping up on me, thinking I still didn't know she was there. There was another pair of footsteps with her. One of the brothers, no doubt.

It was quiet for just half a second, and I figured she'd be popping up in just a moment to try and jump scare me or something. You know, typical younger sibling style.

"He's terrified of them, its hilarious."

Wait.

There was a quiet, girlish giggle, and I'm sure my eyes grew double their size as I figured out exactly what she was doing.

I flung my head to the side to see if she was going to do the thing I thought she was going to do (and desperately hoped she wasn't going to do), and immediately choked on air.

Tiny, beady eyes set high on soft brown fur. Little, round ears on top of a fluffy head.

No.

Rancid, green breath, so-brown-they're-almost-black eyes, sticky fingers touching places they should never be allowed to touch. Bookshelves full of teddy bears looking down on me with empty eyes and sown-on smiles.

I felt my entire body seize up, and before I could make myself come back down to earth, I was hurling the book in my hands at the furry little demon-bear in my little sisters hands and rolling off of the bed and to the floor. Flight-or-fight reflexes kicking in, I shoved myself back to my feet and fled towards the doorway. Away from the sound of heavy breathing and old-people BO that suddenly overwhelmed me.

And then it was in front of me, too.

Maddie, with that little ball of fluff and nightmare fuel in her hands, had darted ahead of me, between me and the only exit from the hotel room.

No.

Callased, rough hands, man-handeling me and shoving me onto my knees. Cold cuffs digging into my small wrists. Boiling breath ghosting over my too-cold skin. Hundreds of eyes staring at me from the shelves around us, none willing to help.

Fucking no.

Fighting past the urge to break into tears, I swatted the thing away from me, and (maybe a little too harshly) shoved my sister out of the way of the door.

"(Name)?" She called, like she didn't know what she was doing to me.

I locked eyes with someone for half a second, Sam, I think before I was out the door and down the sidewalk, towards my (favorite color) Chevrolet.

I heard Maddie call out for me one more time before the car door slammed closed, and I was taking off parallel to the sunset.

Before I even left the parking lot, I clicked on the radio and turned it up to its max volume. If I couldn't hear myself think, then I couldn't see the little black, beetly-like eyes boring into me as my youth died.

I don't exactly know how long I was driving, but somehow I found myself parked at a view point above the town, and the sky was now completely black, not even a hint of the sunset that had shined what felt like just a moment ago.

There were no lights to pollute the darkness of the sky, and the stars shown more brightly than I'd seen in a very long time. Shutting off the Chevrolet's engine, I pulled myself out of the door, and drug my body atop it's hood to look up at the sky. It's amazing how little I'd payed attention to how gorgeous the stars could be before now.

I settled back into the windshield and exhaled, forcing myself not to think for once. It only felt like moments, but it had to have been at least an hour I had sat there, and my arms were beginning to grow goosebumps from the cold. Wrapping them around me, I continued to study the sky; I didn't want to have to go back to the real world just yet.

Emotions were hard. They're difficult to understand, and even more difficult to explain. But something I had realized, I'm not entirely sure when, was that you can suffer from more than one emotion at a time, and that made life so, so much worse. Because, right now, I felt incredibly heavy. I was mourning the death of an innocence I never had the chance to get to know, and I felt completely devastated. Wrecked to my very core. But, underneath all of that, some stupid, small bubble of something resembling happiness, a feeling that had absolutely no right to be present now, grew just under my ribcage, and weaseled its way passed the smog of memories as the gravel behind me shifted with the wheels of a car, and the purring of the Impala's engine broke the relative quiet of the night.

I doubted it was Dean, he's never been very good at emotions, and it was definitely not my sibling, she knew to leave me alone when I needed quiet. That left Sam, and the thought of seeing the ridiculously tall man made my insides flutter cliché-ly.

I closed my eyes and followed the sound of the drivers side door opening, his feet planting on the pine needle-layden gravel. The soft close of the door, his steps growing, ever, nearer. Soon enough he was right by the drivers side of my car, and I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. I knew he had questions, but I just wasn't ready to tell.

"(Name)?" His voice was quiet, gentle. Barely a whisper. Like if he spoke to loudly he might shatter me like glass.

"Hey, you okay?" His steps were now right beside me, I could almost feel the warmth fluttering off of him.

'Not even a little.'

I nodded in response, not really trusting my voice to work without breaking. Finally opening my eyes, I refused to look over at him, instead opting to stare up at Ursa and her cub.

"Your sister," he started. Here we go. "She's worried about you. When you didn't pick up your cell, she was afraid something'd happened to you."

"Something did," I wanted to say. I wanted to scream, rant, and sob. But, of course, "I'm fine" was what passed my lips instead. The words sounded fake, even to my own ears.

I heard him sigh as he leaned closer, settling his hip against the hood of the car and staring down at me. I clenched my eyes closed; this is usually right around the time that someone would start asking questions with answers I didn't want to think about, or comment something snide about my stupid, irrational fear.

That bubble of happiness at his being there shrank.

"What do you want?" I asked, barely loud enough to be heard. I didn't care if I sounded rude.

It was silent for a second, like he was debating his answer, or just didn't have one.

"I," he paused, "I guess I just want to help you," his tone matched mine. "I saw the look in your eyes, (name), I know whatever it is, it's more than just a fear. I want to help you."

I was actually, truly speechless for once. He sounded so sincere, it was more than even my sister had expressed. Not that she'd ever actually shown any concern, she just thought it was funny that her big bro was terrified of teddy bears.

I couldn't tell him, of course, he'd just think me even weaker than he probably already assumed after seeing me have a meltdown over a fucking stuffed carnival toy. I shook my head.

"I'm fine."

"(Name)," he trailed off, his voice somehow even softer than it was before.

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs just to get it off of my chest. It's a secret I've held since I was barely fourteen. Nobody knew, and I needed it to stay that way, but desperately wanted the pressure to come off of my chest. I don't know how much longer I can keep my silence.

I trusted him, that was never a problem. I trusted him with my life, and I knew he'd never hurt me with the knowledge, but it was still a huge risk. What if Maddie ever found out? I'd be devastated. She didn't need to know how pathetic her big brother was.

I felt words bubble up in my throat without my consent, spilling from my lips like molten rock.

"If," I started, clearing my throat to hide the break in my voice, "if I, uh, if I were to tell you somethin', would you promise me that you'll never tell another soul?" I sounded nothing like myself, even to me. "You can't...my sister can't ever know. She's-she's-she... she wouldn't understand." My voice was barely above a whisper, and cracked on every other note.

"Of-of course!" Sam said earnestly, moving to sit atop the hood beside me. I could see his hand move to grasp my shoulder, but pulled back at the last minute, afraid to touch me lest I break. I didn't blame him.

"Promise?"

I turned my head to look at him and wrapped my arms tighter around my body; whether it was to ward off the cold, or the oncoming pain, I didn't even know.

"Of course, (name), I wouldn't tell anybody, I promise."

Only after searching his eyes for his honesty did I let myself relax some. I trusted that he'd keep his word.

He looked slightly uncomfortable with the way his lanky frame was leant over the edge of the cars hood, like he was stuck on the fence between moving to comfort me and giving me my space. I sarcastically rolled my eyes, scooting over enough for him to climb on more comfortably. He warily pushed himself further up, then lay on his back to look up at the stars like I was. I finally turned my gaze away from him and focused back on the night sky.

They really were pretty out here.

"When I was," I gulped and paused. Not even the person I trusted the most in this world knew; I still can't grasp why I'm about to do what I'm about to do. Maybe it was the bubbling in my gut that told me that he'd understand, maybe I was just weak, maybe I just didn't want to be the only one with this secret anymore.

I made myself start again.

"When I was about fourteen, I was on a hunt with my father. There had been multiple disappearances of children around this one little area in Minnesota, and we had gone to check it out. It was terrible. The youngest kid was nine, and the oldest was fifteen and they'd all disappeared without a trace. No signs of struggle, no witnesses, nothing. Just, poof," I moved my hands to mimic an explosion, for some reason, "and they were gone.

"The local authorities believed it was a person kidnapping them, dad thought it was something else, understandably. Most of the evidence pointed towards something less-than normal. For once, the popo's were right." I laughed ruefully at myself, biting my tongue to keep the whimper that threatened to fight its way up my throat from escaping.

"I don't know how it happened," I cleared my throat and continued. "I don't remember getting split up from dad, I don't remember hi-him grabbing me, I don't even remember the drive there, but when I woke up, I," I choked, pulling my arms closer around me and trying in vain to hold back the burning in my eyes.

"I, uhm, I was," I tried again, with no more luck than before. Strong arms hesitantly wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me into a warm side and gently petting my hair. I cleared my throat again.

"I was completely naked, tie-tied to a bench in a room with shelves from floor to ceiling completely," I choked on my words again, turning to bury myself into Sam's chest. I could still see the room if I closed my eyes. "entirely covered in, in, in, those things. Teddy bears. Their beady little black eyes looking down at me as I struggled against the ropes. I was so-so helpless, I couldn't move, or scream, or-or-or–" he pulled me tighter into him, his hand playing in the strands of my hair. I sucked in a deep breath and held it for a second before letting it out, trying to calm myself.

Why couldn't I just stop talking? He didn't want to hear any of this. I'm just annoying him, he'd rather be back at the warm motel with a book and slightly more mentally stable people. And yet I keep going.

"He... he raped me, Sammy, he fucking raped me and all of those teddy bears sat there with their beady little black eyes staring at me." I felt him tense against me, somehow pulling me even closer still. A small, ragged gasp came from the man. "Nobody found me for three days. He had raped and beaten and-and-and hurt me for three fucking days before he tried to take me out to kill me and dump my body, and dad found us. Three fu-fucking days," I was all but sobbing at this point, clinging on to him as I saw the walls covered in children's toys closing in on me. If I let my mind wander, I could still feel his hands groping me. I felt so small.

"(Name)," Sam shuddered against me, gently petting my shoulder as he held my quaking body. "(Name), I had no idea, I'm so–"

"Don't say you're sorry. Please don't say you're sorry. It's not like its somehow your fault. It sounds like pity, and I don't want your pity," I ground out into his warm chest, not letting go of him.

I didn't need anyone's pity, and I sure as hell didn't want anyone's pity. I felt him nod his head above me, before his long body turned on the hood of the car, and he pulled me tightly into his chest as the rest of him curled around my shaking frame.

I couldn't quite tell if the pressure in my chest was good or not.

I'm not sure how long we sat like that, cuddled on the hood of my car, but eventually, once my sobs subsided and I was brought back into the real world for a minute, I came to realize quite how cold it had gotten. It was still only March, and the nights were still cold, and the goosebumps told me I needed to get inside and get warm, but my mind wanted to stay there for just a bit longer. I didn't want to have to let go of the warmth and comfort that billowed off of Sam like hot air, and I don't think I could have forced myself to let go even if I wanted to. So, in all reality, it shouldn't have come as so much of a surprise when I felt my sleep-heavy body being picked up off of the cold metal of my Chevy.

"Sam?" My voice was low and hoarse from spending so long choked full of emotion, and I felt a little jolt of embarrassment run over my body.

Looking up, I could see it was him, but he didn't say a word, simply shooting a soft smile at me before looking back up to watch where he was walking. Not having the energy to try and determine what was going on, I buried my face in his chest and let my body relax farther in his grip. It was only when I felt him open a door that I looked up. Gently setting me in the passenger seat of his brothers Impala, he threw his coat over me before smiling again. Reaching out hesitantly, he ran the tips of his fingers over the side of my face, an action which I immediately found myself leaning into. His brows squinted tightly like he was thinking hard about something. Without even thinking about it, I reached out and smoothed the wrinkles between his brows with the pad of my thumb.

Locking eyes, I finally took notice to just how gorgeous his iris' were. Green and brown and hazel and gold swirling together like liquid fire. Said eyes darted away suddenly, and I somehow knew he was looking at my lips. Mine darted down to his for a moment as well.

I wanted that. Gol, I wanted that.

He leaned forward slightly, and I actually thought he would go for it. He drug his bottom lip between his teeth in debate before moving his eyes to focus somewhere behind my head and stood back up.

Fucking really?

Smiling down at me again, this time making it look almost sad, he tucked the jacket he had previously thrown over my body around me tighter. As he stood and moved himself around to the other side of the car to get in, my gaze tracked him all the way.

He didn't look at me as he started the car and shifted into gear, and the profile of his face held worry. Had I done something wrong somehow? He probably thinks you're weak for what you told him.

As he pulled away from the view point, I watched the back end of my car get farther and farther away.

"My car..." I whispered pitifully, I didn't want to leave it. I didn't actually think Sam had heard me, but evidently, he did.

"I'll pick it up tomorrow. It'll be safe 'till then."

And then he went quiet again. How did I manage to fuck this up, too?

Biting my lip, I curled in on myself, cuddled Sam's jacket to my chest, and let the purr of the engine lul me to sleep.

This time when I woke up in his arms, I made a point of keeping my eyes closed and my breathing steady. We were through the doors before I realized where we were.

The hotel smelled just the same as it had before. Beer nuts, sex, and mothballs. It certainly didn't help the painful rolling in my stomach.

I'd managed to ruin this relationship, too. How was I so good at that? I shouldn't have told him, he didn't need to hear, didn't want to hear. Now he thinks I'm some pathetic little wimp who couldn't so much as protect himself from a human. You fuck everything up, (name).

Somewhere in the back of my self-piteous mind, I was vaguely aware of someone speaking.

The more I tuned in, the more I wished I hadn't.

"—uck happened!? Is he okay?! What'd you do!" Came the accusational voice of my little sister.

Of course she'd have to see you like this. Pathetic. Now she'll surely think as badly of you as Sam does. What the fuck is wrong with you? Can you at least try not to break something for more than ten seconds?

"He's fine," rumbled Sam's voice from beneath my ear, "just tired. He fell asleep on the way here. Just– just leave him to himself for a bit, okay? He's had a rough night."

His tone was somber. His tone conveyed sadness and sadness meant pity and pity meant uncomfortable glances and tense silence and hesitant avoidance of touching. Of course you had to fuck up one of the only good things going for you. Good fucking job. Pathetic.

He was moving again (or maybe he'd never stopped in the first place) and I immediately felt the drop in temperature as he walked with me through the joint door to him and his brothers room. Dean must have been out somewhere, as I didn't hear his voice or feel his stare.

There was a bit more shuffling as he carried me to the bed, and I just don't understand how his arms aren't tired out yet. Soon, he's gently setting me down on the bed, and I'm so grateful that I'd managed to keep myself passing as asleep, because I don't know if I could handle the awkward not-conversation that was sure to follow.

I follow the sound of his feet leaving the room, and wait for the soft closing of the door before I let myself fall apart again. I put a hand over my mouth to muffle the sobs and curl into myself, wrapping one arm around my chest to try and hold off the pressure that's filling my ribcage.

Pathetic.

Weak.

Are you really crying right now?

You're such a pussy.

Why did you have to tell him that shit?

Now he thinks you're even more of a quivering quim than he thought before.

You can't go a day without destroying at least one relationship, can you?

How sad.

I don't really know how long I sat there and cried pathetically into my fist, but at some point my sobs turned to cries, which morphed into sniffles, and eventually evened into silent, hot, tears.

I was almost fading off again when I heard the door open again.

The hunter side of me wanted to immediately reach for a gun, but the realistic side of me told me that it was just one of the Winchester's coming to grab something from the room, or maybe Sam coming to check on me. Hah. Funny. However, when I felt the bed dip beside me, I couldn't help but tense up and open my eyes.

They were on the other side of my body, my back was to them. I was just on the verge of flipping around and sucker punching whoever it was, when a sudden, soft heat draped over me. A blanket.

Somehow, I knew it was Sammy.

For few quiet moments, we sat in companionable silence. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, though I couldn't quite tell if it was the judging glare that I expected or not. After a good couple of minutes, I felt the bed shift again as he stood up, and I thought I heard him mumble something under his breath as he did, but I couldn't quite make out his words.

I immediately missed his presence as he moved back towards the door.

Why had I said anything in the first place? He didn't care, he didn't need to care. He probably feels so uncomfortable now. I probably made him so uncomfortable hugging him like I did, crying into his shirt. He probably hates me.

As the door cracked open, I found myself sitting up suddenly, "I'm sorry," I blurted.

He paused in the doorway, and turned to look back at me. I immediately averted my gaze, instead choosing to stare at his boots as I wiped my face of any remaining tears.

"I'm sorry," this time it was softer, a bit more broken.

The door clicked closed, and he was walking back towards me. Seating himself at the edge of the mattress, close enough that I knew he was there, but far enough away that he wasn't making me uncomfortable, he reached out and gently held one of my hands in both of his large ones. I guess he probably expected me to look up at him at that point, but I couldn't make myself look him in the eye, knowing that I'd only see that godawful pity, or worse, he'd see the tears that still threatened my eyes.

It wasn't until his hands left mine, and traveled up to my face that I looked at him, and was met with an expression I definitely wasn't expecting. His eyes were so, so soft. His face not full of pity, as I'd expected, but instead, some gentle version of understanding. A caring, almost loving look came to him as he wiped away the tear that managed to escape, soothing the red tenderness that came from the last however-long of crying.

As if he knew what I had been thinking a few moments before, his face again morphed expressions. A small, sad smile pulled at his lips, and he shook his head softly, "you aren't that at all," I could almost hear him say, though his lips never parted for the words.

His eyes once again glanced down, and, once again, I imediately knew he was looking at my lips. He leaned forward slightly, as he had in the Impala, but this time, instead of pulling away, he chose to look further into my eyes, like he was seeking permission.

A small nod, a painfully slow movement, soft, warm lips pressed gently against mine.

I sighed contentedly and leaned farther into him. The kiss was but a close-lipped peck, really, but somehow it spoke more than I'm sure a full kiss would have.

After a moment, he pulled away, thumbs grazing slightly at my cheekbones, and I found that I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes once again, but this time, for an entirely different reason.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, Dean Winchester walked into his and his brothers shared room, only to find said brother's long body curled up tightly beside (name)'s.

A quiet "finally" echoed through the air as the eldest brother turned back and left the room, deciding he could handle sleeping on the couch in the other room if it meant his brother could have at least one good night of rest.

*fin*

#Sam Winchester #Sam Winchester x reader #Sam Winchester x Male reader #Sam Winchester x Male reader angst #Sam Winchester x male reader hurt/comfort #Sam Winchester x reader angst #Sam Winchester x reader hurt/comfort #Reader needs a hug #abused reader #victim reader #Sam comforting reader #angst to fluff #this is just kinda really sad #rape trigger warning #Teddy Bears and Memories

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beanie-beebo-writes · 3 years ago

Text

It follows

Series Summary: Reader is running from financial problems and his/her studies, will they catch up with him/her? Charlie's close friends (none other than Sam and Dean) go to check up on the reader due to Charlie becoming worried for him/her. Trouble pursues, as the reader wants to keep silent about his/her struggles.

Warnings: None

Masterlist

Chapter 15

Dean tossed the impala keys onto the small side table and instantly called dibs on a laptop. Sam shook his head and smirked, knowing well that his brother didn't want to be stuck with a load of large books. You chuckled with amusement and stifled a yawn.

"So I assume we are hitting the lore again?" You asked, still unsure of how hunting worked in the real world.

Sam looked at you, slightly puzzled. "Uh.. yeah. Unless you know a way to kill a Kumiho."

"Not in the slightest, this one is a new one for me." You said.

It was Dean's turn to look at you, as Sam was getting settled.

"You seem pretty chill about monsters.. How is that?" Dean asked.

You quickly pondered; telling them about the books would probably be a bit intrusive, especially if they didn't know. Even if they weren't a hundred percent accurate, having something written about you without your knowledge is a little upsetting.

"I mean, I've always had an interest for the supernatural," you internally cringed at that comment, "so I guess I don't scare too easy?"

"Makes sense." Dean shrugged, returning to his research.

"Hey (Y/N), you can continue on the computer from earlier, I think I'll hit the solid lore." Sam offered.

"No, actually, I think I should try to get some rest. I haven't had a lot of it lately, and... I actually feel pretty safe with you guys." You admitted with a yawn.

Sam briefly looked over to Dean with a wide smile on his face. "Oh, okay. I can use both the other laptop and the books then, awesome; more coverage."

You mustered a small smile back and headed to your small bag of belongings. Even though you rarely missed the past, you couldn't help but long for comfort. You never really bothered packing pjs or lounge clothes when you bolted from college, since it would be more to carry. You had figured the few pair of clothes you threw together would suffice at the time, not thinking you would ever feel comfy anywhere again.

"Hey, um, do you want to borrow some clothes? I normally don't offer, but, I mean, it seems like you're kind of low on options." Dean said.

"Could I have a pair of sweats, maybe? If not, I'll just sleep in what I have on." You replied.

"Lucky for you, I always carry around a pair, just in case I want some extra comfort." Dean said with a wink.

Your face burned slightly from embarrassment, but you accepted his offer gratefully. You were so caught up in your emotions, you missed the small exchange of facial expressions the brothers were throwing at each other.

"We'll be right here if you need anything else, (Y/N)." Sam said.

"Thanks guys, seriously." You said, snuggling into the covers.

The brothers replied with short affirmations as you slowly drifted off to a long awaited, sound sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Dean both smiled to themselves as you blissfully slept, occasionally checking your sleeping form, just to make sure all was well. For a while, all that filled the room was the sounds of pages turning, and the occasional click of a mouse. Serenity was never really something the Winchesters had much experience with, so they tended to make the most of small moments like this. Although, this felt different. They were protecting someone practically around the clock, someone other than each other. They never really had the opportunity to see someone living their life easier because of them, not in action at least. This was a whole new awakening; one that made them realize that maybe their job was worth all of the pain.

"I'm really proud of you, you know." Sam said, not looking up from his laptop screen.

Dean looked up in sheer confusion. "For what?" He asked.

"You completely opened up to (Y/N). I know housing and protecting someone other than me isn't really on your to-do list, and it really means a lot." Sam explained.

"I know." Dean said with a smirk.

And then, it suddenly dawned him. The eldest Winchester was starting to feel something he hadn't truly felt in a while, remorse.

"Hey Sam," Dean started awkwardly, "you know… I do care. I just... hate having more things on my plate than.. I already have."

"I know." Sam said, being sure to make eye contact with his brother.

A couple hours flew by, and the Winchesters strangely couldn't find anything on how to kill the creature. It was beginning to take a toll on Dean, who already disliked research as it was.

"Ugh, I think I'm gonna call Bobby." Dean grumbled.

Despite the visible exhaustion, his brother still clicked away on the computer.

"Good idea, because I've got nothing over here." Sam said.

Dean rang the older hunter, turning down the volume after he put it on speaker. After several rings, a voice mumbled groggily on the other end.

"Hey, Bobby. Um, sorry to wake ya.. But we're digging into a stone well over here, think you could help us out?"

Bobby sighed into the phone and audibly shuffled out of bed. "What is it this time?" He asked.

"We believe it's a Kumiho, some sort of fox-like creature from Japan. We've been researching for hours, but we haven't struck anything." Sam said.

"A Kumiho, huh? That's a new one. What do you need me to help you figure out?" Bobby asked.

"A way to kill it. It doesn't seem to have any visible weaknesses, at least from what we've come across." Dean said.

"Alright, give me a while to wake up here, and I'll get back to you whether I find something or not. Sound good?" He said.

"Sure," Sam said, "we can catch a couple hours of rest in the meantime."

"Sleep well boys."

"Thanks Bobby."

Dean closed his flip phone and stretched his stiff limbs; Sam followed suit. They both glanced at your peaceful form, which had stilled hours ago. The sight alone made Sam smile.

"You know, it doesn't just mean a lot to (him/her), it means a lot to me too." Sam said.

"What." Dean said.

"Supporting (him/her)."

Dean smirked, patted his brother's back, and headed into the bathroom with his duffle. As Sam waited for him to finish his nightly routine, he watched over you, finally understanding the feeling his brother felt his whole life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were startled awake to the shrills of a cell phone. You rubbed your eyes, feeling disoriented. You had no idea how long you had been out, but it was the best you had felt in ages. It made you feel... warm.

"Yeah, here, I'll put you on speaker." Dean said, making you shift your attention to the current situation.

"Turns out there isn't really a known way to kill it, but you can trap it, I think." A gruff voice said through the cell phone.

"You can't kill it, of course. Tell us what you found out about it then?" Sam asked groggily.

"The lore says it's a creature that came about from great longevity or a long accumulation of energy. The Kumiho can only lose its form and turn human with enough will, which makes this hard. Supposedly there are two ways you can 'end' the kumiho. You can obtain a jewel called a chintamani, and make sure the Kumiho sees the full moon monthly.Or you can take an easier route, which involves the creature not killing or eating meat for a thousand days." The man explained.

"And the second option is easier how exactly?" Dean asked.

"It says the chintamani is a single stone, which is kind of hard to get. You have to go to the dragon-king of the sea, who is also known as Makara. Since we have two options here, I say you go for the one that is more obtainable first." He said.

"This is going to be loads of fun." You mumbled.

A tense silence followed, causing you to instantly regret speaking.

"Is there someone else there with you two? I could have sworn I heard another voice." The voice asked.

"Oh. Yeah, we were going to bring it up eventually. We kind of took in another helper, (his/her) name is (Y/N)." Dean said.

"You what?" He yelled.

"Hold on a second Bobby, I'll explain everything." Sam said, looking at Dean.

Dean gladly handed the angry man over to Sam and stayed silent until his brother was outside of the room. You looked at Dean questionably as he went to sit on the bed.

"Who was that?" You asked.

"That was a hunter friend of ours, Bobby. Well, actually, he's more like a father figure to us. He means well." Dean said.

"He didn't really seem too happy to hear about me." You mumbled.

Dean cautiously put a hand on your thigh and looked into your glimmering eyes.

"(Y/N), we will work all of this out, okay? We aren't getting rid of you, not any time soon." Dean reassured.

"Even if he doesn't approve of me?"

"I'm pretty sure he will approve of you, (Y/N). He just needs to get warmed up to you, that's all. And even if he doesn't, we still approve."

You gave him a watery smile and almost ended up hugging him again. Dean must have seen the hesitation, because he carefully brought you into his arms. You could easily get used to it, the smell of cheap soap and deodorant, with a hint of gunpowder and whiskey. It surprised you; he was warmer than you ever thought he would be, at least for a hunter. He felt like home, he felt safe. Dean briefly rubbed your back and broke away before it could probably feel too awkward.

"You good?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think so." You said with a smile.

"Okay good, because I'm not very good with these chick flick moments." He replied.

"That seemed pretty good to me." You said.

Before the tension could thicken, Sam closed the motel door behind him and gave Dean back his phone.

"I settled it out with Bobby, everything's good, at least I think." Sam said. "He said he wants to stop by in the morning, just so we can pair up evenly."

"I'm surprised he isn't headed here now, knowing him." Dean commented.

"He probably is, but he actually did sound like he could use some rest. I'll take him for his word this time." Sam said.

"I say we get some more sleep then, because we'll probably be out hunting this thing all evening. Unless if something else comes up, with our luck." Dean said.

You yawned in response and nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

For once, you all slept until the sun rose the next morning, completely undisturbed.

#spn fanfic #spn x reader #spn reader insert

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of-a-chaotic-mind · 5 years ago

Text

Stay

Summary: The reader stops at a bar on her way home from a case, but runs into Sam and Dean Winchester. She and Dean have history.

TW/CW: Dean Winchester x Reader, Bobby’s Daughter!Reader, Some angst, some swearing, some alcohol, and some eluding to sex.

A/N: I decided fluff it, I’m gonna write some Supernatural stuff. If this does well I’ll write more. I didn’t work on the new Bucky series yet because I’m gonna finish up The Ace first before I start another series. Hope you guys enjoy!

Your POV

I step out of my beautiful, black 1967 Dodge Challenger and can already hear the music booming inside the bar. I brush my hair out of my face and pull it back in a messy bun in attempts to keep it clean. I make my way inside and begin scanning the room as soon as I step in. I beeline for the bar and ask the bartender for a whiskey. As I finish scanning the crowd of people, I notice a familiar pair of brothers. I choose to leave them be and take a sip of my whiskey.

As I finish my drink, some ballsy douchebag in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans steps up beside me and lays his hand on my waist. I swat his hand away and pay him no attention as I order another whiskey. He throws his arm over my shoulders and whines, “Come on, Baby. Don’t you want a man to protect you?”

Before I can pop off a witty rejection, another man speaks up and I instantly recognize the voice, “She has a man to protect her. Back off before I drop kick your ass into next year.” Taking the hint, the guy leaves and Dean takes a seat beside me, “How’ve you been? We haven’t seen you since the funeral.” I shrug as another arm is thrown around my shoulders and I tense to swing a fist. I’m stopped when I realize who it is.

Sam grins wide and remarks, “Yeah you could’ve come with us. We have plenty of room in the bunker.”

“I needed to get out and be on my own for a bit, but I’ve been good,” I answer.

As Sam and I catch up, I don’t even notice the look of disappointment on Dean’s face. I lose track of time and eventually we are being kicked out because the bar is closing. As we exit the bar and head for my car, Sam excitedly yells, “This is your new car? Damn, this is nice.”

Dean doesn’t look impressed, “Come on, Sam.” Dean gets in the car and cranks it as Sam turns to me, “I wonder what’s gotten into him. Oh well, I guess we’ll see you around. You should stop by the bunker sometime.”

I nod as he hugs me goodbye. The brothers leave and I’m left to wonder why Dean was so absent and quiet this evening. I get in my car and head for my motel room. I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow so I need some sort of rest.

The next morning, I wake with a headache. I stumble through my room trying to get dressed and then gather my things. I decide to stop by the diner across the road for coffee and breakfast. When I walk in, Sam perks up in his seat and waves me over.

I plop down into the booth next to Dean and shoot Sam a look that says, “Go back to your research.” I elbow Dean and try to read his face. He ignores me and continues sipping his coffee.

Sam laughs, “You know he’s a no talkie before coffee kind of guy, (Y/n).”

I shrug as the waitress walks up to take my order. I order a coffee with waffles and double bacon. As she walks away, I return my attention to Dean, “Seriously, man. What’s up with you? You acted like we were 10 again last night, like you hated my guts again.”

He looks at me as he finally puts his coffee down, “I asked you how you’d been and you didn’t even answer me, you answered Sam. Then, you continued to talk to Sam and it was like I wasn’t even there.”

I lay my head on his shoulder, “I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to. You know Sammy and I have always been really good friends.”

Sam clears his throat, “I know a way you could make it up to him, (Y/n).”

Dean and I answer simultaneously, “Oh?”

Sam chuckles as he turns his laptop around to show us something, “I found a case. You could come with us. I promise to let Dean have some of your attention,” he finishes teasingly.

I look up at Dean as if to ask his opinion and he speaks up, “Like I said, I haven’t seen you since the funeral. It would be nice to catch up and hang out, even if it is during a case.”

I smile, “Then it’s settled, I’m in.”

At this point the waitress is coming my way with my food. Upon its arrival, I dig in and am full in no time. As Dean and I catch up, I find myself thinking back to when we were all younger. My dad, Bobby, would keep Sam and Dean every now and then. More often than not, John was stopping in any way to look through dad’s lore books. That’s back when Dean and I hated each other. Up until we were about 16, he and I were always arguing or fighting or both. Sam on the other hand was always my best friend. When I wasn’t fussing with Dean, I was reading through lore with Sam. I miss the good old days.

After a while, we decide it’s time to head out for the case. Our plan is to drop my car off at the bunker, let them restock their bags and supplies, and then head out all together in Baby. As I follow behind Dean, I think back to the last time I saw them. It was dad’s funeral.

We had all gone out for drinks at a local bar. The next morning, I found myself tangled up in the sheets with Dean. We never spoke of it but it wasn’t the first time and it probably wouldn’t be the last. I remember him trying to convince me to stay at the bunker and hunt with him and Sam but I couldn’t. When it was obvious that I’d made my mind up, Dean let me go but told me to call him if I ever needed anything.

That was 3 years ago. I could never bring myself to go back. I was always afraid he’d given up on me. I couldn’t face him. I tried and tried to find someone to replace him but failed miserably.

My thoughts continue to stay in the past and after several hours, we are pulling into a garage. I drag my mind back to the present as I get out of the car and gather my things. I throw my duffle bag and backpack into the back seat of Baby before following the guys into the bunker.

As I find myself inside an amazing building, I look around in awe. The bunker is nothing like I thought it would be. The guys make their way to their rooms to get whatever they came for as I am left to look around. Moments later, Dean enters the room. For a split second I can see the hurt in his eyes but he quickly looks away.

He clears his throat before asking softly so Sam won’t hear, “You never came back. You didn’t even keep in touch.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I just had a lot on my mind. I-I didn’t want to be in the way,” I say as I kick the toe of my boot into the floor softly.

“You wouldn’t have been in the way. If anything… If anything it would’ve saved me the worry. I never stopped thinking about you and I regret letting you leave everyday.” I’m left speechless as he moves forward and wraps me into a hug before continuing, “I loved you. Ever since that first kiss when we were 16. I never stopped loving you, not even when you walked out that door the morning after the funeral. Please don’t leave this time.”

I can hear the sorrow in his voice. He’s almost begging me to stay. I wipe the few tears I had let fall on his shirt and nod, “I’ll stay.”

Masterlists

#supernatural #supernatural oneshot #supernatural imagine #supernatural imagines #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester oneshot #dean winchester oneshots #imagine #imagines #oneshot #oneshots #supernatural oneshots

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team-free-will-oneshots · 6 years ago

Text

Buried Secrets

Title: Buried Secrets (part one) Request: based on one from @witch-of-letters (not sharing it cos spoilers) and Hello! Can I request something kind of long? Reader notices Dean struggling (barely sleep, self deprecation) and uses witchcraft to help him... - anon (also cut for spoilers) Summary: You’ve been hunting with the Winchesters for years, and unbeknownst to them, you might feel a little more towards them than friendship. Little do they know, you’re a witch. Matters are only complicated with the threat of the Darkness. Will you ever catch a break from what the universe throws at you? (set early-ish season 11) Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (love triangle babey!) Warnings: Some sadness I guess?? Dean repressing his emotions :( Word Count: 2,300ish

note; hey y’all, look at this, another series !! and a love triangle, whoa ! hope u guys enjoy, part two on its way! xx

“Anything?”

“Nothing,” Dean muttered, slamming the old book shut. Dust motes shot into the air, before slowly drifting and settling on the wooden desk, tiny flecks of grey on the brown. He put his head in his hands, groaning before heaving himself to his feet. “Apparently, no one’s ever needed to stop the friggin’ Darkness before. Seriously, what kind of a name is that? The Darkness? Sounds like a shitty 90’s movie,” he protested, but you could sense the pain behind his words, see it lingering behind his eyes.

“There has to be something,” Sam insisted from the corner of the room. The three of you had been poring over lore books for weeks now - you’d even reached out to a few friends from your old coven, desperate for help. None of them offered anything of value - not the few who still deigned to speak with you since your association with the Winchesters, anyway.

Of course, Sam and Dean didn’t know anything about your past life, where you’d embraced your abilities as a natural witch, using them to hunt in your own unique way. As far as they were concerned, you were just a hunter; saving people and hunting things the old fashioned way - with a knife and a gun, not Latin spells and crystals and herbs. When the three of you met on a case, it just made sense to stick around to finish it off. Five years later, you still had their back, and you were certain they had yours.

“There’s nothing, Sam! And why would there be? She was locked away before time even existed, we’re not going to find anything in some stupid book!” Dean snapped, jaw taut and teeth clenched. He seemed more worn down than usual - the deep bags under his eyes seemed to be carved into his skin, his mouth always set in a tense expression of defeat.

Sam sighed, his fingers combing through his hair as he shook his head. The youngest Winchester was struggling too, more than you knew he’d ever admit, but at least his eyes still showed signs of life - a flicker of optimism, even a genuine laugh on occasion. That was far more than what Dean produced of late. It seemed he hadn’t managed to catch a break in years - first the Mark, then being a demon, then the Mark again, and now this… as much as Sam blamed himself for unleashing the Darkness, you knew that Dean blamed himself more.

“You never know. There- there might be something. Maybe we’re just not looking in the right places-” Sam tried helplessly, but fell silent at Dean’s warning glare. You rubbed at your temples, feeling a headache coming on - you’d had all too many of those lately. They’d been bothering you for years, striking up at the most inopportune moments. You’d brushed it off as nothing more than stress, but it certainly didn’t make your life any easier.

When you glanced up, the air was heavy with tension, and you knew it was only a matter of time until Dean snapped.

“Hey. Dean. Let’s go for a walk,” you suggested suddenly, and his eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“You wanna go for a walk? Now?” His tone was weighed with disbelief, and you shrugged.

“Yeah. Like you said, we’re not getting anywhere here. I could do with clearing my head, and I’d like some company.” You shrugged. Dean paused for a moment, processing your reply before nodding.

“Okay. Okay, yeah. Let’s go,” he said, and you smiled, touching his arm lightly as you passed him and ignoring the electricity that sparked at the contact before grabbing your coat and leaving the musty confines of the bunker behind you. Dean was hot on your tail, and you could feel his warm presence behind you as the cool night air rushed over your face, stinging your eyes and rushing through your hair. You blinked a few times, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness before you set off down the road.

Dean fell into step beside you, and for a while, the only sound was that of the crickets and the steady crunch of your footsteps on the crumbling tarmac. The moon bore witness to your outing, it’s faint, silvery light bleeding through the wispy clouds that lazed across the sky.

“Nice night,” Dean remarked, and when you turned to look at him, his jaw had loosened and his shoulders slumped. He wasn’t happy, that much was clear, but at least he wasn’t pushed to his breaking point.

“Yeah,” you agreed. His fingers brushed yours as you walked, warm and calloused. Your heart stuttered, and Dean snatched his hand away, clearing his throat as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. You swallowed, releasing a short breath that misted in the air before getting your emotions under control. It was just an accident. Dean didn’t like you, not like that, at least. The two of you had been best friends for years - you would’ve picked up if… well, if there was anything more than friendship there.

“Maybe we should try finding Rowena again. She might be a backstabbing witch but maybe there’s someone in her circles who-”

“I don’t think the witches can help us,” you interrupted, voice taking on a defensive edge. Dean huffed.

“You’re probably right. Not like they’d be willing to give us anything useful, anyways,” he muttered. Your jaw tightened.

“Maybe not all witches are as bad as you think,” you murmured, and Dean barked a laugh.

“Good one, Y/N,” he chuckled, and your brow creased in hurt as you cast him a stern look.

“I mean it!” you insisted, and Dean rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, Y/N. Most of ‘em made deals with demons. No one ‘good’ resorts to that,” he argued, and you raised an eyebrow as you shot him a pointed look. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, me doing it was different. These witches… they just want power, and then they use it to hurt people,” he declared, and you sighed.

“Not all of them. Some of them are just… born like that. Natural witches, with powers they have to be taught to control.” Like me, your brain whispered. “There have to be some good ones out there,” you finished, voice small. Dean shrugged.

“Maybe. I’ve never met one, but if I do, I’ll owe you five bucks,” he said, shooting you a smirk. You hummed in response, but the fake amusement you’d tried to imbue in your tone fell flat.

“Well, hunting aside; I thought this walk was to clear our heads. No use talking about things we can’t control,” you said eventually. “How have you been? I heard you up at four am last night. Trouble sleeping?”

Dean laughed humourlessly. “Yeah, well, I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he said vaguely. He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it just as quickly. “It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. You spared a glance at him, and the dullness in his eyes and the weak smile on his lips made your heart weigh heavy with helplessness.

“Well, if you ever wanted to talk about it and… I dunno, get things out of your mind and into someone else's, I’m here,” you told him, keeping your tone light. He chuckled.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, but you knew in your bones that he was lying. Dean was the master of internalising his feelings until they started to eat him up, and you knew this time would be no different.

“I mean it, Dean,” you said, coming to a sudden halt by the roadside. “You’re my best friend. You can talk to me.” Dean’s momentum carried him a few paces further before he finally stopped, turning around and raising his brows.

“I know,” he said, slowly returning to your side. You sighed.

“Really, Dean. Honestly, I-I’m worried about you,” you confessed, and the eldest Winchester rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He shook his head.

“You sound like Sam,” he muttered. “Listen, I’m fine. And even if I wasn’t, that’s my business,” he said sharply. “You don’t need to be wasting your time worrying about me, of all people! Like I said, I’m-”

“Fine. You’re fine. Right,” you finished defeatedly. He nodded forcefully, shaking his head to clear his thoughts.

“We should get back,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact as he paced back the way he had come, leaving you standing alone in the dark. His movements were stiff and his hands were in fists at his sides. You exhaled heavily, kicking a rock dejectedly before following in his footsteps.

When you returned to the bunker, Dean had already stormed to his room. Sam shot you a quizzical glance. “What’d you do, punch a hole in Baby’s tyre?” Sam asked, and you chuckled, collapsing on the couch next to him.

“Worse. Tried to talk about his feelings,” you replied tightly, massaging your temples and trying to ignore your pounding headache. It had only gotten worse after your attempted “chat” with Dean.

“Ah. Well, that explains it,” he said, trying a smile that you managed to return. Sam’s smiles were always contagious - so genuine and kind, it was impossible not to return them. Sam closed the book in his lap, putting it aside and shifting closer to you. His leg brushed yours, and for the second time that night, your heart stuttered. As attractive as you found Dean, the same could easily be said for Sam. His hand found your knee, resting over it innocently as he coaxed your gaze to meet his. “You okay?” he checked.

You sighed, leaning back into the couch. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just-” You sighed again. “I’m worried about Dean, and I- I guess I have some stuff going on as well,” you admitted. Sam frowned.

“You wanna talk about it?” he offered, eyes warm with concern. You shook your head - how were you meant to tell one of your hunter best friends that you were one of the “monsters” so frequently on their hit list? How were you even meant to describe how that made you feel, how personal their jabs at witches felt? Especially with how frequently they arose nowadays, ever since Rowena wormed her way into your lives...

“Just… feeling alone, I guess,” you mumbled. “It’s hard to explain.”

“I get it,” Sam said, giving you a sympathetic half-smile. “For a long time, I felt like I didn’t belong… well, anywhere. But, Y/N… Dean and I care about you, okay? I know neither of us really talk about it that much, but… we’re both here for you, and we’ll accept you no matter what. But you need to accept yourself, too.”

You managed a small smile in return. “Thanks, Sam,” you whispered, swallowing hard and blinking back the tears beginning to burn your eyes. When one finally broke free, gliding down your cheek and settling in the corner of your mouth, Sam opened his arms.

“C’mere,” he said, and you accepted his hug gratefully. His arms caged around you protectively, holding you against his hard chest as his large body curled over yours. You could smell the fresh scent of detergent on his flannel, feel his light scruff on your forehead, and then it was fading as you pulled back in fear he’d feel your racing heart.

“I should get to bed,” you told him, smiling again, a fraction more authentic this time. Sam nodded.

“Yeah, me too. See you in the morning,” he said quietly, and you nodded.

“Night,” you replied, getting to your feet and making the short trip back to your room. Sam’s words still echoed in your ears - you need to accept yourself, too.

Maybe he was right - maybe you’d been trying to suppress who you were for too long. You knew you could use your powers for good - you’d spent most of your life trying to do just that. Maybe you could show the boys, your best friends, that not all witches were as evil as they thought. And maybe, you could start by helping Dean.

You had all the ingredients you needed stowed safely in your bedside drawer, and it took you nearly no time at all to make the hex bag. Your fingers deftly pieced it together, falling back into an old, familiar rhythm as the repetitive motions drew out the stress knotted between your shoulder blades and the tension headache that had tortured you so incessantly. As you imbued your magic into the tiny bag, you felt as though you could finally breathe again.

The sound of a door falling shut drew you from your trance, and you cracked open your own door to peek into the corridor. Dean was heading towards the bathroom, probably for a shower, judging by the towel slung over his shoulder. Perfect.

Once he was out of sight and you heard the spray of water, you crept from your room and into his. Your heart dropped at the sight - it didn’t look like he’d cleaned up in weeks. This was not the room of the healthy minded.

You stayed just long enough to tuck the hex bag under his mattress, leaving as quickly and silently as you came. A small smile tugged your lips as you laid back in bed, drawing the blankets up over your waist. Finally, after so long, you could use your powers for something good.

Maybe there was hope for you yet.

__________

Read part two here!

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Dean tags: @polina-93 @justagirlinafandomworld

Sam tags: @sammys-dimpless

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thecleverdame · 5 years ago

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Brains & Sex - One Shot

Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam brings you along on a hunt that turns into more than he anticipated.

Warnings: canon-level violence, almost smut

For: I4z_0892_il

Words: 1.5k

Beta: ilikaicalie

This story was available on Patreon on 4/23. Subscribe for a pledge of $2.50 a month and get early access to all my stories and other Patreon exclusive content.

In April Sam and Dean take separate cases. Dean tracks a shapeshifter all the way up to Saskatchewan and Sam heads to Georgia with Y/N in tow.

She’s not a hunter, not even close. She’s a librarian from Wichita that Sam crossed paths with a couple of years back. She helped with research on a case and when it was over he found a reason to go back again.

And again.

And then it became an unspoken arrangement.

So when he and Dean go their separate ways, she takes a few vacation days and spends a long weekend sorting through lore and sharing his bed.

When Sam plans on hooking up he takes the easy cases. Dean always knows his brother is gonna pick her up on his way out of the state because Sam’s suddenly all gung-ho to check out a salt-and-burn that they’d normally hand off to a local hunter.

Dean starts calling it a hunt ‘n fuck and Sam’s cheeks turn bright red every time he says it.

It’s been a long week. Three days turned into five. A single vampire turned out to be a nest and Sam’s simple weekend case turned into a balls-to-the-wall hunt that he didn’t see coming. He thinks it’s over, he doesn’t realize the one remaining bloodsucker has followed him and the vamp gets to her before he does.

She ends up with a black eye and a split lip before he takes the things head off.

“Hold still.” Sam’s on his knees, wedged between her legs where she’s sitting at the end of the bed. She winces when he dabs a wet washcloth at the gash in her lip. “It’s not that bad but we’re gonna have to ice your eye. It’s gonna swell.”

“You’re worse off than me.” She squirms, taking his wrists and pulling his hand up to inspect it. His knuckles are shredded, angry red knobs that hurt when he makes a fist.

“I’m fine.” Yanking his hand away he reaches into the ice bucket, grabbing a handful of cubes and wrapping them up in the washcloth. “Here, hold this up to your eye.”

“It doesn’t hurt that bad.” She winces, Sam knows she’s lying.

“I should’ve made sure I knew what I was getting into before I brought you here.” Sam sits back on his haunches, looking up at her from his perch on the floor. “It could have been worse than this.”

“But it wasn’t. I’m in one piece.” She smiles, ignoring the throb of her lip. “We’re both a little worse for wear but still kickin’.”

Sam watches her make the best of this incredibly shitty situation and feels the guilt settling in. He’s gotten good at ignoring his instincts when it comes to her. Every bone in his body tells him to walk away. To tell her goodbye and get her the hell out of his messed up life. But he can’t, not yet anyway.

He’s spent a long time on his own, hasn’t let himself get this close to anyone since Amelia. He craves it though, the familiarity of a woman who knows who he is and he doesn't have to work to be around. With Y/N he’s just Sam with no pretense.

She’s easy to be around and way too beautiful to work in a library. Under her sweaters and cardigans, she’s got an ass for days and legs that don’t quit. And she’s flexible. He’s had her bent over, palms flat on the floor, more than once.

She’s brains and sex, the combination will always be his downfall.

“What are you thinking about?” She caught him in his own head, she usually does.

“Just thinkin’ about you.” He reaches out to squeeze her calf and she slides off the bed, kneeing her way across the floor to him.

“Don’t think too much. Save the thinking for when I’m not around.” Her hand snakes under his shirt, running the back of her fingers over the warm, soft skin of his belly.

Sam grunts, she bites her bottom lip, curling slender fingers under his belt, sliding down inside of his jeans to pull him toward her.

“No kissing,” she murmurs her eyes fluttering with desire. Her pink tongue darts out to touch the angry cut at her lip. “I’m injured.”

Sam feels the shift, the flutter of anticipation in his belly. One of his big hands slides around the back of her neck, his thumb pressing lightly over her throat. “No kissing...anywhere?”

“I’m not completely unreasonable.” Her whisper fades away with a gentle oomf as he lays her back, spreading her out on the green and orange shag carpet of this shitty motel room. Her hands are working his belt buckle when there’s a heavy knock at the door.

Thump

It’s a cop knock if he’s ever heard one.

Sam’s off the ground and on his feet, gun in hand before she has a chance to process what’s happening.

Quiet he mouths, bringing a finger to this lips. Carefully, silently, he pads barefoot across the carpet toward the door. He looks through the peephole and does a double take.

Thump

“Yeah?” Sam calls, lowering his gun.

“Athens Police Department. Open the door, please!” The voice is clearly one of authority, and the please is rhetorical.

Sam does a quick mental inventory. He’s stayed under the radar and covered his tracks. There no reason for this hunt to have attracted attention.

“Just a sec!” he hollers, sliding his gun in the drawer of the bedside table. He reaches down, pulling Y/N off the floor in one smooth motion.

“We need you to open the door now, sir.” The disembodied voice demands.

“What the fuck?” she whispers, both hands curling around Sam’s forearm.

“Just stay back until I know what this is.” Sam frowns, leaving her by the bed to answer the door.

There are two uniformed officers standing in front of room 107. One has his hand on the butt of his gun, the other places a hand on the door as soon as it swings open to prevent Sam from closing it.

Sam doesn’t like this.

The younger of the two policemen is big, almost as tall as Sam and just as wide. He looks from Sam to Y/N. “You alright ma'am?”

She’s not sure if she should answer. In Sam’s world, things are never what they seem and she’s not even sure these guys are real cops. She looks to Sam for an answer.

“She’s fine,” Sam explains, but it already looks hinky and he knows it. He’s answering for her and it piques the interest of these cops.

“Can you step out of the room, sir.” The bigger of the two cops gestures, but it’s not really a question.

Sam looks at Y/N, mouthing it’s okay before walking out of the room, escorted by the smaller, older officer.

She stands in place as the big guy makes sure Sam’s out of earshot before turning his attention back to her.

“I’m here because we had a call from a concerned citizen who saw you and wanted to be sure that you’re alright.” He hooks both hands into his utility belt, legs in a wide stance as he plants himself in place.

“Me?” She balks, clueless. It’s the look on his face that finally brings some clarity. He’s staring her bruises. Her hand flutters up to her face and a completely inappropriate laugh slips out before she can stop it. “Oh my God, no, this isn’t - it’s not Sam. I’m fine.”

“If you’re not comfortable talking to me here, we can take you down to the station. Get you away from him for a little while, get you to a safe place,” he offers.

“Seriously.” She smiles, wincing as the cut on her lip throbs. “This is not what it looks like.”

“I don’t know a lot of women who end up with a beating like that when everything is fine.” He nods, eyeing her from head to toe.

“Yeah, I can understand that.” Y/N takes a seat on the end of the bed, both palms on her thighs.

They’ve already talked about this. Y/N was examining her fresh wound in the mirror and complaining to Sam about having to come up with a cover story. He stood behind her, grimacing at her reflection.

“You can tell people you were mugged,” he offered, turning her around, cupping her face to get a better look. “Jesus, I’m sorry I let this happen.”

“I was mugged.” She shrugs.

“Oh?” He asks casually. “Did you report it?”

“Yup. It back in Alabama.”

“If you got mugged then why are your boyfriend’s knuckles torn up?” He’s fishing. They both know it’s not his jurisdiction, there’s no way to check on a report without making a formal inquiry. It’ll take time.

“He got there just in time, pulled the guy off me. Sam gave him a beating before he ran off. Coulda been a lot worse if he wasn’t there.”

“Good man.” The cop nods, sticking out his bottom lip. “So, you sure you’re alright?”

“One hundred percent.”

“I’m not sure how to feel about what a good liar you are.” Sam smiles, stuffing a shirt into his duffle bag.

“What can I say? I learned from the master.” Grinning she watches him pack up the rest of his belongings. “I have a request.”

“Anything.” Sam smiles, giving her his full attention.

“Next time, can we just make up a fake monster and spend the weekend in a B&B or something?”

Sam saunters over to her, slipping his arms around her waist. “That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard in a long time.”

Tags: @smallgirlbigpersonality @mereka18 @gryffindorable713 @trainlikeawinchester @winchesterprincessbride @bamby0304 @saxxxology @notyourtypicalrose @mariekoukie6661 @little-big-mac2 @emoryhemsworth @mystriee @atc74 @holyfuckloueh @bunnybaby121115 @mogaruke @darkmystress00 @jaspesangriento @kazuha159 @mirandaaustin93 @crispychrissy @schilj79 @wilde-abandon @hennessy0274-blog @bojabee @miss-samantha-winchester @impalaimagining @andkatiethings @astephez @ladycynthia @mrswhozeewhatsis @lenawiinchester @feelmyroarrrr @mrs-meghan-winchester @har-rystyles @mistressofallthingsgeeky @theamuz @maui137 @stars-and-seas @vale0413 @impala67trenchcoat @curly-haired-disaster @ericaprice2008 @livelikeawinchester @althehufflepuff @itsthesamegametoday @bohowitch @spnwoman @just-a-normal-eccentric @gallifreyansass @stoneyggirl @lonely-skys @81mysteriouslyme @missrandomista @soupornatural @stars-and-seas @natura1phenomenon @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @natura1phenomenon @likhelbentin @mrooks0205 @zombiewerewolfqueen @winchesterprincessbride @squirrel-moose-winchester @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @closetspngirl @dominodoll @rainflowermoon @cleighwrites @camelotandastronauts @imarockstar45 @thebeastinside19 @courtney-padalecki @itsthesamegametoday @virtualgirlfriendsan @daisymoder72 @fandom-is-my-middle-name @mysticmcu @luciferseclipse @malinda1997 @sunlight-dean @rockhoochie @collette04 @sandlee44 @ohnowin-chester @maddiepants @fandom-princess-forevermore @geeksareunique @femdeni314 @lazinessisalliknow @samwinchesterssexyface @the-yellow-girl96 @that67chevy @that-weird-asian-gorl @lmitchell78 @snffbeebee @sandlee44 @fandom-is-my-middle-name @calaofnoldor @prettyinplaid94 @squirrelnotsam @spnwoman @luciferseclipse @daddys-littlewhitegirl @fanfictionjunkie1112 @immafangirlmess @winchesterweirdo @organicpurplepants @becs-bunker @mbanejr

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfic #sam winchester smut #sam winchester x you #one shot

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themoonandotherslikeit · 5 years ago

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What the Rain Can’t Wash Away- Chapter 17

*FINAL PIECE IN THE LOOK IN HER EYES TRILOGY*

Sixteen years after Lucifer rose and Dean lost his wife, he finds himself with a teenager, a Nephilim, an angel, and his brother living out a Full House rerun with some seriously dark undertones. How will he be able to raise his daughter, fight monsters, and deal with the loss of the love of his life? Sometimes moving on is the hardest part, but with the Winchester’s there’s always something harder around the corner. Isn’t there?

Chapter Seventeen, Goodbye Isn’t Always the End

Dean

“El,” I exhaled her name and took her hand in mine. We had her chained down, so Michael couldn’t hurt her or us. She was pale and sweating, trembling. She looked like how Sam looked during the trails. She was fighting hard to keep Michael at bay. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb. We had an IV in her arm to keep her hydrated. Ava was asleep curled up in the chair on the other side of the bed, I draped a blanket over her, wishing she would go and sleep in a real bed. She needed rest. We all did.

“Dad?” Eleanor croaked out, her tired eyes opening to look at me. She’d been passed out for the last two days, and I couldn’t believe that I was hearing her voice.

I scooted closer to her. “Yeah, Sweetheart, I’m here.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey now, don’t do that.” I pushed a damp hair out of her face, my chest aching. “It’s not that bad, okay? We have a plan. I’m gonna take care of you. I always take care of you.”

“He wants me,” she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“He can’t have you.”

“I’m scared, Dad. I don’t think I can fight him off much longer. I’m not strong enough.”

I wanted to hit something, to scream, to fucking take back every stupid mistake I’d ever made. More than anything I wanted to turn back time so I could make the right choice and lock Michael up in that coffin for good.

But that wasn’t an option. So instead I cradled the back of her head to sit her up, and I slid into the bed behind her. She settled between my legs, with her head on my chest. “I’ll be strong enough for you,” I promised her, kissing her hair. I wrapped my arms around her protectively like I had been doing her whole life.

“I wanted to save you.”

“Honey, you did save me. You’ve been saving me your entire life. I don’t think I would’ve made it when Mom died if it wasn’t for you.” I stroked her hair, my eyes burning. I couldn’t lose her. I fucking couldn’t. I rocked her gently, stroking her hair. “Dad’s got ya, kid. I’m here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Even though I wasn’t much of a singer, I found myself humming Simple Man low against her hair. It gave me something to do other than thinking about my daughter wasting away. Rowena was trying to find a spell, but she looked when Michael was wearing my meat suit, and she didn’t find anything. Sam was pouring through the lore, calling contacts, trying everything. We felt so fucking useless.

The chains around her wrists were inscribed with an Enochian spell to keep Michael weak, but even if they were working, he was still killing her. I wanted to take him back into me and go to sleep in that box, but even if they’d let me, doesn’t seem like Michael wanted to come out to play. At least not with me.

Ava sat up with a start, breathing heavy, and looking around. “Dean?”

I placed a finger to my lips and glanced down at Eleanor.

She let out a sigh and stood up slowly, her body stiff. “Any changes?”

I shook my head sadly. “She’s about the same.”

Ava stroked her hair and bit her bottom lip. “Why is this happening to her? She’s a good kid... I just... there has to be something we can do.”

I knew the feeling. That helpless, sickening feeling. I’d felt it a thousand times over. It was the same way that I felt when I dug that hole at the crossroad so long ago. I’d give anything for my family, but sometimes we just have nothing left to give. “I remember when she was a baby, and she had this ear ache. She had a fever. She cried and cried. I didn’t think I’d ever get her to stop. She was so upset and hot. I was terrified...” I swallowed hard at the memory.

“What’d you do?”

“Took her to the ER. Some ear drops and a bottle was all it took, but I felt like the worst Dad. I just kept thinking, Ave would know what to do if she was here.”

She smiled at that, shaking her head. “I didn’t know any more about kids than you did, Dean.”

“Maybe I just didn’t want to face it alone.”

“We always did feel stronger together,” she admitted. “Dean... do you think she’s going to pull through? Think we will find a Hail Mary?”

I ran my tongue along my bottom lip. “We always find one,” I said quietly. We needed hope, and she didn’t need to hear that we’d already exhausted all of our options when Michael was inside of me. She didn’t need to hear that there wasn’t any hope left.

Cas poked his head into the room. “I’d like to try to take a look?”

I nodded and waved him in. He walked to the side of the bed opposite of Ava and pressed two fingers to her forehead.

Ella

My back was pressed against the door. It rattled angrily as Michael screamed and shook it, pounding his fists against the wood. It was already splintering, I could feel it. I felt like everything was falling apart. My arms ached, and I knew that I couldn’t stay like this much longer.

My eyes flickered up from my feet to focus on a presence that I felt enter my mind. “ Cas,” I breathed. I wanted to be relieved, but I knew better. I recognized that wrinkle on his forehead.

“Eleanor.”

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

He nodded, the smallest movement of his head told me a detailed story, and I let out a sigh.

“That’s what I was afraid of,” I admitted, licking my bottom lip. It was dry. It was all so dry. “I’m dying.”

“He is trying to break out,” Castiel explained, walking to me. He examined the door behind me. “He appears to be getting close.”

He pressed his palms against the door over my head, closing his eyes. I could feel a heat against my back from his grace pulsing through the door. “Damn it,” he whispered. “I’ve stabilized it, but it’s temporary. It won’t last long.”

His hands fell to his sides, and I took his hand in mine. “It's okay, Cas . Just... don’t let Michael out. I don’t care what you have to do. Put me to sleep and bury me in concrete. We can’t let him out into the world.”

He shook his head. “I can’t do that, Eleanor. You know that.”

“You have to.”

“You’re my daughter. You’re his daughter.” He cupped my cheek with his strong fingers and a tear escaped my eye. Damn it, betrayed by my own eyeballs!

“I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood, a better family. You all have to know that. Make sure that Sam knows that you’re my Dad’s. All three of you. Don’t let Mom think that she failed me, either. This time I’ve got to spend with her is amazing…”

“Stop,” Castiel warned. “You’re not going to give up. That isn’t what Winchester’s do. They fight stubbornly longer than possible. You don’t get to quit on us, Eleanor. You will tell them yourself.”

I could feel my lip tremble. I couldn’t hold back anymore. I was just so tired. He was so much stronger than me, and I could feel my own life source fading away. I always knew that love would destroy us. My family was built on it, brick by brick. We were glued together by our love for each other. “He’s going to hurt you, all of you. I can’t… I love you all so much; please don’t let him kill you in my skin.”

Sometimes I wondered what other families fought about. I was jealous of the simplicity of all of my classmates. I’d hear them at their lockers talking about how mean their mothers were for not letting them wear a skirt or go out with a boy, and I’d just laugh. They had no idea what it was like to watch your family walk out of the door and not know if they’d come home in one piece, or at all. Every day I watched pieces of my family being chipped away. They’d die, or come back different, a little harder to get close to. I could see the cracks in my father like a mosaic. He was still my dad, but he wasn’t the same as he was when I was younger.

I was terrified to know what his life looked like without me, but at least he had Mom. They had each other, and that had to be good enough.

“I won’t let him kill anyone, and that includes you.”

Growing up I thought Castiel was so magnificent. When he still had his wings we would go flying together. He’d pick me up from daycare and we would zip through time and space together. It was magical. He felt a little bit like a fairy tale character, forever in his trench coat, never really aging. He’d bring me back fantastical gifts from his travels, exotic candy and other presents. It felt like being raised by Santa Clause. He was fierce, and I knew that before he lived wit us he was a soldier, a damn good one I gathered, but now he was just one of my Dads. He raised both me and Jack. He was strong when Dad left to face Amara, rocking me and promising that it would all be okay. That my dad was a hero, but I don’t think that he and Sam ever truly realized, that all of my dads were heroes.

I smiled up at him weakly. “I don’t think we have much control over what he does, Cas. Maybe our luck has just run out.”

He looked down at me like I was breaking his heart, probably because I was. Isn’t that the point? You have a child, love them with everything, and then they break your heart. It’s our job.

“Cas ? Can I talk to Jack? Can you bring him in here and show him how to do it? I’m too weak to use my energy outside. I’m too tired.”

“Are you going to tell him goodbye?”

“He won’t understand,” I said softly. “If I don’t talk to him he won’t understand. I owe him that much. He’s still just a kid.”

“You’re just a kid,” he said desperately, but by the look in his eyes I knew that he agreed with me. He would do whatever I asked. He was a honorable man.

“I love you, Cas .”

He pulled me into a hug, burying his face into my hair. “I love you, too, Eleanor. I never expected that I would have a daughter, but you are so much better than anything I deserve.”

Ava

Castiel opened his eyes; he was under, inside of El’s mind for several minutes. His blue eyes flickered open and met mine, causing me to suck in my breath. “What’d you find out?”

“I was able to put a small block to help secure the hold she has on him, but I’m afraid it will not hold for long. We are racing against the clock. He is very powerful, and she is downtrodden as well as weak.”

“Downtrodden?” Dean asked, weakly.

“She asked me to bring Jack here.”

“Jack?” I asked, my eyebrows coming together. I had a sick gut feeling. “Why?”

“I think she’s trying to say goodbye.”

My eyes met Dean’s, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

“Did you tell her that ain’t happening?” Dean asked angrily. “We don’t give up in this family.”

“I did,” Castiel said, a deep sadness in his voice. His shoulders were slumped and his eyebrows knit together. He looked defeated, and it wasn’t sitting well with me. “It didn’t seem to make a difference. She is very tired.”

“Listen here, little girl,” Dean whispered into her ear. I could only hear because I was standing close, tuned in on his every movement since I’d been back. “I’m not letting anything happen to you. Do you hear me? You’re not giving up. This ain’t some farewell tour.” His voice broke then, his green eyes turning a little bluer as tears spilled over the edge. Eleanor was limp in his arms, her head lulling, and I knew somewhere deep inside of me that it was all ending. The book was closing on this chapter, and no matter how much we didn’t want it to, it was completely out of our control.

“Get the kid,” I whispered, pained. If it was what El wanted, then she should have it. She could have whatever the hell she wanted.

I turned and left the room, suddenly itching for a cigarette even though I never smoked in my life. I ran up the stairs and pushed out into the cool night. I collapsed onto my knees and looked to the sky. I knew that praying was futile. I’d tried, and no one was listening. So I just sat there on my knees waiting for something to happen, something to change, anything.

“Ava?”

I looked up at Sam who stood over me, towering like the giant that he was. My heart ached for him. “Sam,” I exhaled his name in a breath of fog into the cold air.

“What’re you doing out here?”

“It’s El, she… she’s going to die.”

“What?” He crouched in front of me. “We aren’t there yet, right? Shit I was gone twenty minutes…”

“She’s saying goodbye to us, Sam. Cas said she’s weak. She doesn’t want to fight anymore.”

Eleanor Mary Winchester, the little girl with many names, and a family that was large from the beginning. She carried the weight of both of her dead grandmothers, her father, and then me. But she was raised by three strong men who fought tooth and nail for a safer world.

“We always think we can’t fight anymore, but then we just keep fighting. It’s in her blood… she’ll, she’ll pull out of this. She has to.”

“I don’t think she will, Sam. Call it a mother’s intuition. I think this is the end.” She was Sam’s daughter longer than she was mine. She belonged to him from the beginning. “I’m not sure if I ever thanked you, Sam.”

“For what?”

“For being there the day she was born. I don’t think… I don’t think I could’ve done it without you, without your support. That’s the thing about us Winchester’s. We are stubborn as hell, and we don’t give up in a fight, but that’s because when one of us is too tired to go on we hold the other up. We fight in their place or alongside them.” My voice trembled as my tears fell into the snow, melting little dots into it. “I just wish I knew how to fight with her on this one.”

He slowly lowered himself to sit next to me in the snow, wrapping a protective arm around me. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“Of course I do,” I whispered, resting my head against his shoulder. I didn’t bother stopping the tears. I wasn’t in control, not over anything anymore. “You saved me, and I gather after I died you saved him, too.”

“Like you said, we all save each other. It’s what we do.”

I wrapped an arm around him, plastering the two of us together; the steady beat of his heart in his chest was keeping me from breaking in two. “What will we do if she dies, Sam?”

“We’ll do what we always do,” He said. Heartbreak was evident in his voice from the strain and gritted teeth.

I’m sure he meant it to be comforting, but as I sat outside in the cold, frosty air, seeking something more, I felt anything but comforted. I felt cheated, broken, and more than anything I felt completely void of hope.

Ella

“Jackie ,” I said, standing up from my seated position in front of the door. The rattling had decreased since Castiel put the block up, and I was grateful for the silence, even if I knew it was short lived. “Hi.”

“Ellie,” Jack frowned, walking to me. “What’s going on? Is it Michael?”

“Come sit with me.” I took his hand and led him to a couch that seemed to magically appear when my mind willed it to. I sat crisscrossed on the couch, and he sat next to me, his hands resting on his knees.

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

“You’re my little brother,” I began, trying to be as gentle as possible. “And so I wanted you to hear it from me.”

“Hear…what?”

I took his hand in mine. “Look at me, Jackie.”

He did.

“I love you, you know that, right? I am so glad that I got to be your sister.” I brushed a piece of hair from his face and offered him a brave smile.

“I love you, too, Ellie.” He frowned and sniffled.

“Hey, don’t be sad, okay?” I poked his cheek, invoking a smile. He had such a sweet smile. “I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this, but I’ll always be right here.” I poked his chest, above his heart. “As long as you remember me, I’ll always be with you.”

He took my hand, holding it against his heart. “But you’re with me now .”

“I don’t want to scare you, Jack, but I need your help. I don’t think anyone else can do what I need. You’re my baby brother,” I said through the tears that were welling in my eyes. “ I can’t do this without you. ”

The knocking came again, the rattling doorknob, the scratching, and banging at the door. He was awake, and we were running out of time.

“Of course,” Jack said softly, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I’ll do whatever you ask me to, Ellie.”

Dean

Later

Jack didn’t tell us what they talked about, and she didn’t ask for Cas to juju anyone else into her mind. I hated being jealous of the kid, but fuck I was. Of course I was. We were all gathered in the kitchen talking, trying to figure out what to do, if there was even anything else to do. She’d been sleeping consistently, but her condition was still declining. She was now in an oxygen mask along with the IV. Sam was worried we’d have to entubate her, but Ava and I weren’t ready for that. Not that we’d ever be ready.

“There’s gotta be something.”

“Dean,” Rowena sighed, her eyes red from crying in private. “I’ve called in the best in magic, and there just isn’t anything available to help the wee one.”

“Then they aren’t the best!” I shouted, not meaning to raise my voice.

“We all love her, Dean,” Jody reminded me, as she tightened a protective arm around Claire.

“I know.” I turned, slamming my fists on the counter before slowly sliding into it, pressing my face into my hands. “ Fuck, I’m sorry. I just… I can’t lose her… I…”

My head perked up as the beeping coming from the machines connected to El in the other room turned into one steady, long, drawn out beep. Before I could process what was happening, I was already running, Ava on my heels. I almost slid into the door of the room, but the door was left open. I stepped in only to find her bed empty, the tubes and wires hanging lifelessly from their machines. “What the…”

“Dean!” Sam called from the other room.

I exchanged a quick look with Ava before running back into the kitchen. Eleanor sat on the counter with her legs crossed at the knee. She wore my Led Zepplin t-shirt and her Harry Potter leggings. She still looked like hell, her eyes with big bags underneath them, sweat still glistening on her forehead. Her head was piled on top of her head, held up only with a hair tie. A trickle of red blood ran down her arm where her IV was ripped out of her skin.

She looked like the same girl who was lying in that bed moments before, but she wasn’t. I could tell by the look in her eyes, the dead, almost a mused expression. “Dean,” she hissed. “Do you know how much your daughter loves you?” She turned her hand over to examine her nail beds. “Far more than she loves herself.”

“Michael,” I said, my mouth dry. “What did you do to her?

The laugh that trailed out of her lips didn’t belong to my daughter.

“Ella!” Claire called.

“Jody get her out of here!” I insisted, holding up my hand to stop her. “It’s just me and you Michael.”

Michael smirked, letting both of her legs down, her bare feet touching the floor as she stepped toward me. Tables were still between us, and I could feel Ava’s energy twitching behind me. She wanted to run to El, but we couldn’t. We were at a standstill. “That’s what I wanted, too, Dean. You wouldn’t have that. It couldn’t just be us . You had to lock me behind that door. Your daughter is powerful, but she’s still so young.” Her hand ran along her cheek, and down her neck. “So easy to manipulate.”

“Get out of her. Come back in, yes . I’m saying yes! You know you want the premium suit. I’m your sword .”

“You were,” Michael said flatly. “That ship has sailed. Sorry for your luck, but I’ve tapped into a dark place within sweet Eleanor here. Did you know that she was guzzling demon blood since she was a baby? Its grotesque, honestly, but it gives her mind great abilities. If you would’ve cultivated that when she was young… I would have had a true match, but alas. I do not.”

Michael tilted his head, the bun shifting on top of Nel’s head. “ Jack .” The k was crisp, almost a flick of his tongue. “My brother’s bastard offspring. Perhaps I’ll save you for last.”

I saw Sam creeping up behind Michael, trying to use his focus on Jack to our advantage, but it fell short.

“Tsk, tsk Sam.” One finger was all it took to send Sam flying across the room, his back hitting the wall.

“Cut it out! What do you want?”

“Let her go!” Ava screamed.

Michael’s eyes rolled dramatically and he flattened the hair that was falling out of Eleanor’s bun. “I never was a patient man. It wasn’t my strong suit. I didn’t fare well playing with others, so instead I just chose to play alone. I think I am growing tired of this game. Let’s end it, shall we?”

Eleanor closed her eyes, and when she reopened them they were glowing blue. I recognized the smirk, and I turned to Ava. “Close your eyes!”

Ava looked at me, her blue eyes widening. She looked at me under dark eyelashes, her eyes fluttering shut. She covered them with her hands. I turned back around, it all just happened so fast I didn’t think. All I could see was my daughter in front of me.

They say when you die that your life flashes before your eyes. That didn’t happen to me. I wished it had, because I would’ve given anything to see my girls one last time, to see Dad, Bobby, Sam. I didn’t see any of it. I didn’t see anything.

It was just a white hot burning behind my eyes, inside of my head. I felt like I was boiling alive from the inside out. I scratched and clawed at my face, trying to put the fire out, but it burned so much deeper. It reminded me of Hellfire, and if I was being honest I didn’t even realize that I remembered what that was like. The worst part, though, was this horrible screaming. It was loud and inhuman, and it sounded so close. I just kept thinking, this is the end. I would listen to that horrible sound, and burn alive until the end of time. But before everything went dark, and I slipped from this life into the next one, I registered that the screaming was coming from me.

—————

Chapter Eighteen, If I Could See You One More Time

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3laxx · 6 years ago

Text

Wind update 3

A few things do have to be talked about.

In other words, the lore I came up with for the Air Series universe. Again, yes, I can't take season 2 into consideration. The canon is different now and while I'll still watch it, I'll still go along with the story I made up. I know that season 2 gave us different backstories already and I know my fanfiction doesn't quite catch up. But if I used the season 2 input it would get too unpredictable, I could write different things, plus the helping Miraculous would still remain temporary (which I don't want) and I wouldn't get to the outcome I want to have in later parts of this series. So, just, please bear with me? ':D I'm watching the season 2 lore, I'm having my thoughts on it and I'm always open to conversations about it, I got my tumblr name beneath the new chapters and my inbox as well as Private Messaging is open. Just like on Fanfiction.net, Instagram and Twitter. There's also still the Discord server that I opened up last year. If you wanna know a bit more about my theories or what I think about season 2 just hmu! But yeah, I won't take season 2 into the Air Series anymore. It's become too different and I got an outline for the Air Series in my head. It's simply a different universe now, not to mention it plays 3 years after the canon series. Anyway, just to have that out of the way again, let's jump right into it! Enjoy~

Ao3 / FF.net

Over half an hour later he finally arrived at Master Fu’s. Wayzz smiled and nodded as Nino reached for the door and looked down to search for assurance from his new friend.

“He already expects you.”

Nino smiled and opened the door, feeling weird not to knock, but Wayzz flew out of his jacket as he closed the door behind him, already heading towards the person inside. An old man waited for him sitting cross-legged on a pillow on the floor, smiling gently.

“Come inside, young man.”, he said in a warm voice, gesturing towards the other side of the table to the pillow that laid there.

“Hello, Master Fu.”

Nino just nodded as Wayzz settled down on the table in front of the old man and started chatting with him, sitting down on the pillow. Instead of listening to the two of them he looked around, taking in the room.

It was really nice, Nino noticed. Traditionally for Chinese culture there were no chairs and the room was decorated with all kinds of flower patterns, a few similar to Marinette’s shirt.

Secretly, Nino smiled to himself.

He was both excited and scared for what his new life would bring, but he was sure he could handle it. At least, both Marinette and Adrien had managed. And being a superhero must be dangerous and stressful but surely amazing as well.

“So, Carapace.”, the old man turned to him, bringing him back from his thoughts, “I am Master Fu and I will be your mentor until either you are ready or I will die.”

Master Fu bowed with a mischievous smirk on his face.

“Wh-What?”

“That was a joke, young one. I will still live a while, don’t fret. Anyways, Carapace, you are now the Turtle Miraculous wielder. We have much to discuss and I have much to teach you before you can fulfill your duty.”

Nino let out a relieved breath before he answered.

“Yes. And you were the wielder before me?”

“That is very true, my friend. You must know, as a first, that the Turtle Miraculous is constantly activated. One wielder must always look over all Miraculous or otherwise they will fall into the wrong hands or could be forgotten over the time.”

“That means, when I’m older I have to choose the next Miraculous wielder for the Turtle?”

Master Fu nodded while smiling warmly, grabbing a tea pot.

“Tea?”

“Um… Yes, thank you very much.”, Nino moved the tea cup in front of him towards Master Fu, “So, I am the new Turtle Miraculous wielder and I know that there are the Ladybug, the Black Cat and the Butterfly. Are there others? And are they all… ‘Guardians’, as you said?”

Master Fu gave Nino back his filled tea cup and he nodded again.

“There are the Ladybug and the Black Cat as the yin and the yang. These are the key Miraculous. Additionally, there are five more Miraculous, called the guardians.”

“Which animals do they represent, besides the Turtle and the Butterfly?”

“There are the Fox, the Bee and the Peacock left. And these Miraculous can build pairs too, just like the Ladybug and the Black Cat.”

Nino tilted his head and scrunched together his eyebrows.

“What, pairs? How can they when they’re five? And what pairs?”

“Easy there, young one.”, Master Fu smirked again and the boy laughed.

“I’m sorry, Master Fu.”

“If you call me Master that will be alright. And yes, the pairs. As the Ladybug stands for good luck and the Black Cat for bad luck, the other Miraculous stand for traits too, good ones as well as bad ones. Your partner as the Turtle wielder is the Butterfly Miraculous.”

Instantly, Nino’s eyes shot open, slowly beginning to shake his head.

“Hawkmoth?! Hawkmoth is my partner?!”

Master Fu smiled reassuringly, making a calming gesture towards the pale boy.

“The Butterfly Miraculous is your partner, not necessarily Hawkmoth as a human. The Turtle stands for steadiness and the Butterfly for change. Do you see it now?”

He nodded relieved, sipping on his tea.

“Okay, that’s understandable. Which are the other pairs?”

“The other pair is the Fox and the Peacock, the Fox standing for illusions and the Peacock standing for the truth. The Bee Miraculous has no partner.”

Nino leant forward, eyeing Master Fu suspiciously.

“The Bee has no partner? Well, what does the Bee stand for?”

Suddenly, Master Fu looked rather sad, probably remembering something in the past.

“The Bee stands for loyalty and vitality.”

He nodded, clenching his teeth.

“So, the opposite and partner for the Bee is-… Betrayal and Death?”

Master Fu suddenly smiled and drank his tea.

“Well, that shall be another lesson. Do you have any other questions?”

The boy decided that he would wait until it would be needed. He took another sip of his tea, thinking about what Wayzz had told him earlier. He had mentioned that Nino would get to know why he was chosen.

“So, Master, why did you get me for the next wielder? You could’ve gotten anyone, so why am I this one special person who was selected?”

“Ah, that is a very good question, young one. I had noticed you earlier on, even before the incident with Miss Fortune. You know now that the Turtle Miraculous stands for steadiness and you must be asking yourself in which situation you’ve proved that.”

“Well, I’m well off on my own two feet and-…”

“That is not a physical question.”, Master Fu grinned at Nino who was quick to rub the back of his head, “It is a trait that you have. Being a tower of strength, so to say. You and I know very well that you don’t exactly are what you’d expect the Miraculous of steadiness to require. A wielder who is prudent and calm, a man of his word and responsibilities.”

The boy laughed nervously but Master Fu continued without hesitating.

“I am not saying that you are a bad person just because you don’t take school that seriously although you are graduating. Or that you are rather choosing to pursue your hobbies in the hopes of being successful in this department rather than playing it safe and trying to get an apprenticeship. I am saying that you maybe need some, let’s say… Balance in your life.”

Nino tilted his head curiously, not really understanding where Master Fu was going with this.

“But-… Wayzz said earlier that I both need and fulfill the Miraculous. So, I know that I’m not the steadiest guy. What did I do to deserve the Turtle Miraculous?”

At this, Master Fu set down his tea cup and suddenly got very serious. Nino gulped but forced himself to hold the gaze of the old man’s dark brown eyes.

“I’ve been paying attention to you while your friend Ladybug had a hard time. She was depressed, helpless and desperate because of her hopeless situation. And you stayed with her. Of course, you were grieving because you as well thought her akumatized form had killed Ladybug, but you stood up for her regardless and tried your best to protect her from the wrath of her classmates, especially the mayor’s daughter. As you already know from Wayzz, you are the wielder of the Turtle which stands for the protection of the other Miraculous. You proved both steadiness and protection skills while Ladybug needed it the most. She didn’t quite realize it, which is understandable because of her condition at that moment, but you still were by her side. And you took the sword Hawkmoth had meant for Chat Noir. You threw yourself between the two to protect someone you didn’t know to be your best friend yet. You barely knew Chat Noir other than the superhero who kept Paris safe. And yet, you protected him with your life. That was the most striking action for me to choose you as my successor.”

Nino nodded, feeling stiff after what Master Fu had told him about the time he tried to be by Mari’s side. He always thought he hadn’t been there for her enough although she constantly had tried to make him feel otherwise. Seems like he really had been wrong.

“So, I-… I really both earned and need the Turtle Miraculous?”, he asked quietly, his voice shaking.

“That you did and do, young one. I am very proud of you and I am sure you will fulfill your duty with all skills that are needed.”

“And my duty is to protect the key Miraculous?”

“As well as the other Guardians and the Zodiacs, yes.”

“The Zodiacs?”, Nino questioned, tilting his head as the old man chuckled.

“Lesser Miraculous than the Guardians, 12 of these. They are minor Miraculous and not usually needed.”

Nino looked up and nodded.

“Ah, okay… Yeah, of course, Wayzz said so before. I mean the protecting thing. So, I’ll have to protect the Butterfly Miraculous too, but… How? Hawkmoth has it.”

“There will be the time to defeat Hawkmoth and bring back the Butterfly Miraculous to its rightful place. And to be honest, I am hoping that you will be able to bring back the Butterfly Miraculous because it is your partner, after all. Maybe, Wayzz being able to transform again will make the job easier to free Nooroo, the Butterfly’s Kwami.”

The boy looked into his cup of tea, eyeing the brown liquid that slowly cooled down.

“… I understand.”, he murmured, suddenly feeling very weird about the responsibilities that came with being a superhero. Master Fu stood up, smiling and put a hand on Nino’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry. You will be just fine, after all, you got friends to lead the way. You already learned from them how to keep an identity a secret and I am sure that you will do just as skillful as those two.”

Nino flinched at the mention of a secret identity, deciding to ask about that as well.

“So, I have to keep my identity a secret like they did for four entire years?”

“Yes, I would advise it to you. Well, it might not be four years, it might be longer, it might be never. After all, maybe you want them to trust you as a hero as well before they know that you are their best friend.”

Nino nodded again, lowering his head.

“Yes, yeah… You’re right, of course.”

Master Fu kneeled next to him and slightly squeezed his shoulder.

“See it like this, you have a mentor to teach you. They did not, they had to learn it all by themselves. With the help of their Kwami, but Tikki and Plagg are doing this for thousands of years by now, as do all the other Kwami, so they sometimes forget what’s obvious to them.”

Nino grinned.

“Thanks Master.”

Master Fu smiled too, getting the tea pot and standing up.

“Well, do you need to know anything else? Oh, of course, one of the most important things.”, he went over to his gramophone and pressed buttons Nino hadn’t seen before.

“What is this, Master Fu?”, he stood up and carefully neared the old man, unsure whether he was allowed to look.

“Come here, young one. These-”, he stepped aside for Nino to get a closer look at what was hiding inside his gramophone, “... Are the Miraculous. Well, a few of them at least. It is mostly the box that contains them when they are not activated.”

The boy’s eyes widened as he saw the brown box that was opened up. There was a yin and yang in the middle, both empty. He assumed it were the sections for the Ladybug and the Black Cat Miraculous. They were in the middle while around them, there were five more sections, each for one Miraculous of the guardians.

“The Fox and the Bee are the ones that are left as you see. The Butterfly has Hawkmoth, the Turtle you and the Ladybug and the Black Cat are activated as well.”

Nino scrunched together his eyebrows and pointed to the blue section that was empty too.

“What’s this one?”

Master Fu’s shoulders slumped.

“Ah, yes. The Peacock Miraculous. It went missing after something… Something bad happened to its wielder.”

“I understand… So, the Fox and the Bee are left. Will they be given out to someone while I’m the Turtle Miraculous wielder?”

“Most likely, actually, for this is a job for a lifetime, at least for you.”

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

“Oh, yeah, right. So, when will I be able to join Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

“Your time will come soon enough. But for now, we have to discuss a few other things. Come here, sit down again. Your new life will be dangerous and it will bring you to your limits even before you’ll start fighting.”

Nino gulped as Master Fu led him to the pillow again after letting the box vanish into the gramophone, giving him some more tea, probably to calm him.

Late into the afternoon the boy finally got home, completely exhausted.

“Woah Wayzz, Master Fu sure is being ambitious with me.”

“He has to be, young Nino. He doesn’t want you to have any problems with your new responsibilities.”, his Kwami tried to soothe him by stroking his short brown hair.

“Yeah, I know… I’m grateful, don’t worry. It’s just… Everything is just going so fast.”

They both sighed and Wayzz nestled himself into Nino’s hair. He felt the tiny Turtle shell press against the top of his head and couldn’t help himself but smile.

“Wayzz?”, the boy asked, his voice slow and careful.

The Kwami perked up at his name, humming gently as he stretched on Nino’s hair.

“Yes, young Nino?”

He took time to phrase the question right, struggling with himself to get the right words out.

“What-… What if I’m not the right one for the job? I mean… Sure, I was chosen and all that but… What if I’m just not…”

His hand once again wandered up to his chest, stroking over the soft bump of his remaining scar.

“Maybe just because of that.”, Wayzz replied, reading his thoughts. The little Kwami got up and floated off of Nino’s head, to make eye contact with the boy as he lowered himself down to his hand that was on his chest.

“But-… I mean…”

Wayzz nodded, his eyes serious.

“Nino, you’d give everything for your friends. For your family, every single stranger and even for your enemies. You’re a guardian, a perfect wielder for the turtle Miraculous. Master Fu himself was surprised at the power of your actions, to jump between your friends and the sword. And yet-”, he stroked Nino’s thumb, “You’ve never wasted a thought to take revenge on Hawkmoth other than wanting to see him behind bars, paying for his crimes. Healthy and well but punished. You are the ideal protector. Did you know Chat Noir wants to see Hawkmoth dead for what he did to Ladybug?”

Nino’s eyes widened as he heard what the Kwami said.

“Wait, so you’re saying Adrien wants to kill Hawkmoth?!”

The small, green Kwami shrugged to this, his eyes averted as he leant back.

“He can’t help it. Destruction requires wrath and despite the calm nature of your friend, he still wields the Miraculous of destruction. And since he’s a key Miraculous holder, his soul and mind are molten with the Miraculous’ traits. It’s a perfect Yin and Yang. He’s just as much an equality in himself as his powers are to his partner’s.”

Nino slowly hummed, still brushing over the scar as he looked up to the ceiling, letting his thoughts flow freely.

“So that means Marinette is the exact opposite to Adrien?”

“Ladybug’s character is, in contrary to Chat Noir’s, a little brash and careless, as well as impulsive and intuitive. The Miraculous has awoken her rationality and logic, her calmness in fights as well as her ability to put mind above heart but always acknowledge the morally right thing to do.”

“And I have an opposite, too, right? Master Fu said my partner is the butterfly.”

“Ah, yes.”, Wayzz answered, a little lost in thoughts, “In contrary to the turtle’s steadiness stands the constantly changing, multifaceted butterfly. Your own traits are a little lightheaded carelessness while the turtle awoke the responsibility within you. The butterfly’s wielder should be the exact opposite but as it seems, Hawkmoth is not. He is not a chosen and thus, cannot use the full span of Nooroo’s powers. Master Fu and I have monitored and analyzed his Akumas and tactics for a year now and this is definitely not all the butterfly can provide. Perhaps a reason why Hawkmoth wants the two key Miraculous, despite combining them for the ultimate power.”

With a surprised expression, Nino looked down to the Kwami again and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Wait, so you’re telling me the butterfly is not at its full power?!”

“Yes, Hawkmoth is not a chosen but it is possible for humans who aren’t chosen by any Zodiac, Guardian or Key to wield a Zodiac freely and a Guardian with limits. Those who are not chosen cannot access the full power of a Miraculous, or wield a Key Miraculous. That is why he can only seldomly transform twice the same day, but mostly needs a day break between his transformations. Chosen can transform as they wish, as long as their Kwami is charged.”

The boy leant back again, dumbfounded.

“So the butterfly is not even at its full power…”

Wayzz shrugged.

“The Key Miraculous are not significantly stronger than the Guardians. Sure, they have a few more features, a little more power and they require the wielder to withstand more energy, plus they’re the oldest known Miraculous. But you remember how comparably quickly Chat Noir was at defeating an Akuma when Ladybug wasn’t around?”

“Comparably quickly?”, Nino snorted.

“He didn’t take days to take one down. And yes, while the quantity wore him down, he still defeated most Akumas within an hour, a lot even under half an hour. And while the fights were hard, once Chat Noir had noticed a villains fighting technique and had gotten used to their unique powers, he was able to locate and destroy the akumatized object fairly fast. And that is just Chat Noir alone, driven by nothing but incredible loss, despair, anger and sheer willpower. Together with Ladybug they have only had a few exceptions where the Akuma was good enough at fleeing to let the fight take more than a few minutes. If the butterfly had all the power the wielder could use, it would surely look a little different. The Key Miraculous combined would need as much time as Chat Noir needed during spring and one Key wielder alone would still win. But barely.”

They remained silent for a few minutes before the boy spoke up again, his voice breaking and quiet.

“Do-… Do Adrien and Marinette know that…?”

“Master Fu has informed them, yes.”

“Phew, okay…”, the boy sighed relieved.

#miraculous ladybug #fanfic #wind #breeze #nino lahiffe #wayzz #master fu #carapace #turtle!nino #freckles writes

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theonceoverthinker · 6 years ago

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OUAT 2X01 - Broken

It’s good to be back! Who’s ready for Season 2?

It should be TWO-bular!

...Did you miss the puns?

I missed the puns.

Anyway, under the cut is where you oughta be to hear my thoughts, both cute and seriously! (Going all out here! You get puns AND a rhyme! I spoil you all!)

Press Release Reality and myth begin to merge as the fairytale characters awaken from Evil Queen Regina’s broken curse and remember who they were. But to their dismay, they aren’t transported back to fairytale land. To make matters worse, Rumplestiltskin - aka Mr. Gold - in an effort to gain the upper hand in his power struggle with Regina, has introduced magic into the town. In fairytales magic has its place, but in our world it can have unfathomable consequences. Meanwhile, back in the fairytale land, Prince Phillip awakens his sleeping beauty, Aurora, but discovers that he and his traveling companion, Mulan, will soon have to face a deadly foe. General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness Past The past segment here does an interesting job answering the question of what happened to the Enchanted Forest. Aurora’s a great focal point because just like her, we’re being introduced to the remains of the land with answers only slowly being revealed. At the same time, it’s not for lack of trying on Aurora’s part. She’s quite no-nonsense and inquisitive, but still romantic and trusting enough to believe Phillip as he continues to lie to her.

Additionally, there’s a great deal of tension created between all three mains. Between Aurora and Phillip, there’s the lie about the Wraith’s mark. Between Aurora and Mulan, there’s the threat of romances with Phillip. And between Phillip and Mulan, there’s the fact that they’re both lying to Aurora about everything, the fact that Mulan’s not particularly warm to someone who seems to be characterized as such, and the fact that Phillip’s also lying to her, too. The way that it all comes to a head is just perfect and it leaves everyone in a really interesting for future episodes. It was also cool to see that this was the immediate future following the events of the present segment, a fun way of playing with time and a component for a fantastic twist! Present This episode does a marvelous job exploring exactly what one would want to see after the curse breaks. We get to see happiness through reunions, and on a large scale. At the same time, we get to see the chaos that would be expected too. Mary Margaret and Blue’s reunion (As small as it was) illustrated this best for me. There was that glee in the action of them holding hands, but panic upon the discussion of magic. Additionally, there’s a great buildup to Emma’s source of pain as well, and it’s contrasted so well against Snow and Charming’s enthusiasm. Emma’s character is not forgotten and her pain from the past is still present and valid, making her inability to connect with her parents so sympathetic and heartbreaking. This is a large part of the heart of the story, especially this season!

It’s also great how this story intertwines so well with Rumple and Belle’s. And let’s talk about their story, because it’s fantastic! Rumple having Belle back doesn’t just up and solve his problems. He’s still who he is and he even lies to her and actually gets consequences for it. Granted, they’re temporary consequences (I personally would’ve kept them apart for another episod at least), but at least Rumple is given a sting for what he did and Belle is very clearly framed in the right for her feelings and actions in response to the lie, so I don’t have that many complaints. All Encompassing I was thinking of a grand theme for this episode, and I think Mulan put it best: “Love is sacrifice.” Throughout the different dynamics on display in”Broken,” this was the most prevalent. Now, of course, it’s prevalent in the past, as Phillip’s love for both Aurora and Mulan has him sacrifice himself to the Wraith. But it’s also littered through the present like purple magic smoke. Snow and Charming’s love for Emma came at the cost of potentially sacrificing their relationship with her. Emma’s love for Henry came at the cost of her sacrificing both her hatred for Regina and her being in the same realm as him. Belle’s love for Rumple came with the sacrifice of her anger towards his lie. Those are just a couple of them, but you get my point. It was a well delivered theme that worked with our cast of characters and gave way for the stories they’re going to have going forward! Insights - Stream of Consciousness -The first time I saw this opening, I actually thought I found the wrong show because it was so different than anything we had seen from OUaT so far. Now, it’s so cool for precisely that reason! It’s a jarring turn (A new protagonist and setting and the return of the pop music) that still has tiny elements of the show (The horse and the well-dress rider that gives a vague fantasy vibe). Even the way it’s shot is something that’s more real than the different angles we got in Storybrooke. It just makes the moment when we see both something fantastical from Storybrooke all the more striking. -I forgot how no-nonsense Aurora could be! While still romantic, she’s very questioning and has a nice bit of snark to her. -I love the way magic just hovers in the air, like a harmless sandstorm. It’s hazy and mystical and just a touch threatening because of those that have magic, but there’s a calmness to it too that makes it so lovely to look at. -Those reunions are positively heartwarming! It feels so beautifully earned and everyone is so well connected! It was a great idea to start here as a buildup to the reunion with Emma. -And speaking of, I’ve got to give all the credit in the world to Josh and Ginny. Their reaction to seeing Emma for the first time uncursed is beautiful. Just like in the finale, Snow and Charming get so speechless, ironically showing the emphasis of the moment. And Jen too! Emma’s reaction to this is pretty fitting -- not running at the moment, but this is a lot to take in. The two sets of performances create a stunning contrast with each other to make a reunion so distinct. -Robert Carlyle’s face! Rumple is out for BLOOD! -Also, I just realized that we haven’t seen Regina, and given the last frame of her from Season 1, that is fantastic buildup! -I have...opinions on the whole “no killing under any circumstances” policy, but right now’s not the best time to write that out. -That said, I LOVE Henry’s reaction to the mob invading Regina’s house. It puts Henry’s behavior and expectations towards Regina in Season 1 in context and affirms that for as much as he wants the curse to be undone and for her to lose, he does love her. -The buildup to Regina’s lack of magic is stunning and hilarious! Everyone in the crowd pull off their anger and fear so well and Lana’s put all the ham in to make this such a fantastic moment! -Whale is just the fucking worst! -THANK YOU SNOW!!!! FUCK! YES! THAT WAS THE WAY TO HANDLE REGINA! LOCKING HER UP IS A GOOD IDEA! Seriously, as I said before, while I feel like “no killing under any circumstances” isn’t an ideal way of conducting things for someone who committed harm and could intend more of it, there do need to be consequences for that behavior and Snow went about making a good decision about how to enforce those consequences. I feel like if the Wraith hadn’t taken Emma and Mary Margaret away and Regina hadn’t got her magic back, she would’ve also suggested a trial. -Did Emma change jackets between being at Regina and the sheriff’s station? -Rumple’s “OH” face at the jail cell is so beautiful! XD -My headcanon is that Wraiths have pool parties in the River of Lost Souls during their down time! XD -Did RUMPLE get a haircut and I just didn’t notice? His hair looked so long in the station compared to now! -How do non-Dark Ones summon Wraiths? Apart from the one that invaded Aurora’s land, Mulan has at least heard of them before. -I only realized now how much the writers pull that “I’m dying, but I can’t let my beloved know” trope. I don’t mind it (It’s romantic, tragic, and usually has an interesting bit of lore and character interaction because of it), but when I think about it, wow, there’s a staggering amount of those instances! -”You’re going to have to be more specific.” Given all that he’s done in the last 12-24 hours, that is quite the legitimate question! -Rumple, I get that Emma broke the curse, saved Henry, and reunited with her parents, but you know damn well what you did! Like, leave a note or something! Emma thought her kid was dead and you above all others should empathize! And kudos to Emma for just not buying it for a second! -I’m stuck between finding the Wraith cool as hell and fake as hell, but I’m going to lead towards the former! -Holy crap! Snow’s pulling a pre-Gina Linetti Gina Linetti with that lighter and can! When did I start loving Snow so much because holy crap, I like Snow! -Awww! There’s some cute Regal Believer when Regina asked if Henry really asked her to protect her! -Okay, so I may be the last person in the world who cares about plot holes, but how did Aurora sacrifice herself when she was cursed? -Josh had some glorious acting when it came to the post-portal anger with Regina? You can see every beat of sweat and hear the snarl in his voice! It was equal parts sad and scary -Henry asking Regina to stay away from him and everyone was also the right call. I swear I love Regina, but Henry’s decision both has a level of him giving Regina due consequences and a level of childish pettiness because his presence (As far as he knows at this moment) won’t affect her progress. -I didn’t think until now about how tragic it is that David and Henry, two people who never lived in the loft, now are, but without either of the two usual inhabits. How much are you willing to bet that they spent the day during the reunions imagining settling down in the loft with Emma and Snow, just the four of them together and happy! It makes the bleakness of those first few moments in the loft, such an iconic and bright setting in the last season so sad. -I also feel like I like David a lot more this season! He’s a lot more determined and given emotional provisions, and by that I mean, the emotions that he has are more well founded. Arcs - How are These Storylines Progressing? We’re mostly back to just the introductions of conflicts here: Emma accepting her parents - This is set up to be Emma’s internal conflict throughout the episode and I’d argue the season if not also the next one too. There are multiple facets to it. First, Emma’s collecting her bearings with the giant revelation, and second, she’s working through an underlying bitterness at her parents for leaving her alone throughout those twenty eight years. Emma and Snow stuck in the EF - This one just kind of explains itself! Storybrooke working to get them back - See above. Regina’s Redemption - A line from my favorite critic, Moviebob that he said quite recently in regards to the protagonists of “The Guardians of the Galaxy” franchise got me thinking as to the nature of redemption for the villains of the show as a whole. It basically amounts to the titular characters and others who redeem themselves do so “through their commitment to each other and a higher cause.” And I think that’s why I’d say that Regina’s redemption starts here. While probably more true for when she first adopted Henry, one can definitely say that their dynamic grew a little skewed both before and during Season 1. So I’d say that this is the rebirth of Regina’s commitment to both Henry and doing better as a person by bringing back Emma and Snow, and thus the true start to her redemption. Favorite Dynamic Emma and Snow - While I was tempted to put Charming in here too, Snow is the driving force behind this dynamic as she is the more active in her demands. In addition to being a dynamic that plays with the theme of “love is sacrifice” (In two respects with them, actually), as I mentioned before, they have a great contrast. Mary Margaret’s passion for meeting her daughter is so wonderfully enthusiastic while Emma’s is...not. What I love is how not only do both women get time to discuss those feelings, but how both of their contrasting feelings are portrayed by the story and the conflicting character as completely valid. While everyone wants Emma to have that same joy as her parents, she doesn’t, and while admittedly a touch selfish (Though I’d also argue understandably so), there’s an understanding that this isn’t just something that she’s going to process right away. Writer Adam and Eddy are of course in charge here, and I think they delivered on exactly what they needed to! Exiting the curse was a big step and doing so would require things that an audience needed to see, both good and bad, across both realms and they did a great job of that. On top of that, the mixing of all three storylines is some of the best that I’ve ever seen of the series. It all feels so seamless and natural how they intersect. Rating Golden Apple (10/10 with an * for superb quality). This episode would’ve been good enough had we just seen the reunions and consequences of the actions in the Season 1 finale. However, we got more than just that. We got new characters, a new story, perfect character conflicts that exist so well with who we have and what they mean to each other, a twinge of lore, and some mysteries to be solved throughout the season! Everyone gets something to do and a “shining” moment (Whether it be an action of heroism or villainy), and it just meshes together really well. It’s just a well put together episode and deserves the appropriate acclaim! Flip My Ship - Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness” Sleeping Warrior - We definitely get some of that enemies to lovers stuff here, and I always enjoy that! There’s a great chemistry between Jamie Chung and Sarah Bolger have some nice chemistry and their characters have that nice defensiveness that ends up making the moment where they do come together at Phillip’s “grave” very sweet. ()()()()()()()

Wow! This was a great way to start the season off! Full disclosure: Since I binged Season 2 and 3 during my initial watch of the series and only rewatched a handful of episodes from it, I never really took much of a magnifying glass to the individual episodes, nor did I really form opinions on some of the characters, so seeing this episode rock as hard as it did made me so happy!!!

Thank you for reading and thanks to the fine folks @watchingfairytales for putting this project together! Next time, get hyped, because out of many come one-- oh excuse me-- two. See you then!

Season 2 Tally (10/220)

Writer Tally for Season 2: Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis: (10/60) Tags: ouat, once upon a time, watching fairytales, ouat episode code, ouat rewatch, jenna watches ouat, ships mentioned

Operation Rewatch Archives

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 2x01 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #basically every character in this episode is discussed #ships mentioned #sleeping warrior

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chibinightowl · 7 years ago

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The Adventures of Sir Timothy Drake

For @curdleddoodle, who drew such wonderful things for Masquerade and To Rise Above. We both have an obsession with dragons, so here’s another take on it, in a whole new world where Tim finds himself in a rather unusual predicament...

~*~*~

Chapter One: The Unconventional Proposal

Sir Timothy Drake did not sign up for this. In fact, he never wanted to be a knight in the first place. But his mother insisted and what his mother wanted, she got, even if her son was woefully ill suited for it. He tried, he really did, and Sir Richard did his best to train him in ways that played to his strengths, but when it came down to it, Tim was not suited to be a typical knight.

Full plate armor just looked completely and utterly ridiculous on him. He could barely move under the added weight so he tried chainmail and had some success there. It wasn’t that Tim was tiny, it was just that he was built lean; even years at working with swords and other weapons of war, he could still be overcome by sheer brute force.

Except this was where his own talents came into play. Thanks to Dick’s training, he was fast, agile, and there was no one in the land who could beat him when there was a quarter staff within reach.

It still wasn’t enough for Lord and Lady Drake. Their son needed to be the perfect heir, skilled in the art of war, as well as diplomacy and strategy. The fact he’d rather be outdoors or in his stillroom didn’t matter to them. Or his workroom. He had hobbies and passions that were quite different from what was expected for the son of a noble house.

So this was how he found himself in this situation, riding his mighty steed (an extremely smart mare he named Robin, much to Dick’s delight) towards what he was certain would be a quick death. A dragon. His parents wanted him to slay a dragon and prove his worth as their heir.

As though they had other heirs laying around, ready to pick up and dust off.

Tim shook his head for the umpteenth time. It didn’t get any easier to stomach the thought. He was positive this was his mother’s revenge for Dick hiring the foreign Lady Shiva to secretly teach him all those years ago. Her anger burned cold and long, much like his was bound to do if he ever made it out of this alive.

He already had plans to leave his horse miles from the dragon’s cave was purported to be. At least one of them would survive.

That night, Tim sat before his campfire, eating what he’d started thinking of as his last supper. There were worse things than rabbit, he decided. When he was done, he reached into his saddlebags to take out his journal, a pen, and an ink jar to jot down his final thoughts. Writing helped clear his head as it was often the only way he could express himself properly. Perhaps some poor soul will find it one day and spare a thought for the deceased.

He settled against his saddle, angling himself so that the light from the fire illuminated the pages. His journal contained equal parts musings and observations, as well as ideas and diagrams for things he’d now never get a chance to try and build. It was pissing him off to the point where he couldn’t write. He threw he pen down onto the matted grass by his fire. The snap and hiss of crackling wood did nothing to help his mood, reminding him yet again that he was here in this dark forest about to meet his doom.

“Do my parents honestly think I’m coming home?” he muttered rhetorically as he flipped through his book. “Seriously, a dragon. It’s not like people come home after a confrontation with one.”

“I’ll say. Sounds like they’re a bit touched in the head.” The voice came out of nowhere and Tim jerked up, dropping his journal and reaching for his staff.

“Who’s there?” he barked.

The voice snorted in amusement and for a brief moment, the scent of brimstone overpowered the curling smoke of the fire. A man strode out of the darkness, toeing the ring of light cast from the campfire. Tim stood his ground, cautious as it was readily apparent he wasn’t dealing with a bandit or some other hooligan. For one, they wouldn’t be so well dressed, a black leather jacket paneled by red, trailing down over strong legs and finely crafted boots. The man wasn’t visibly armed, but he didn’t need to be in order to be dangerous. But it was his eyes that Tim couldn’t stop staring at. Such an incredible shade of blue, vibrant like a sapphire, and one that he shouldn’t be able to see this clearly in the shadows.

They were glowing with their own inner light.

“What are you?” Tim amended his original question.

“Just passing through and saw your fire,” the man replied with a roguish smirk and blatantly ignoring Tim’s second question. “It’s rare to see anyone in these parts. There’s a dragon not too far from here. People tend to stay away.”

Tim sighed, unable to stop himself. “I know. I’m not too keen on throwing my life away trying to battle it either.”

The man cocked his head to the side, never once blinking as he stared at him over the fire. “Then why are you here?”

That was a question Tim’s been asking himself for the better part of two weeks now. None of the answers he’d come up with are at all satisfying. “Family duty, I suppose. I’m the only heir of a small duchy, and my parents seem to believe that if their son becomes a dragonslayer, then a beneficial marriage offer will finally come their way.” He made a face at that, clearly expressing his thoughts on that matter.

“Bitter much?”

Tim can’t help the dark laughter that rises from the pit of his own internal despair. “You could say that. I have my own dreams to achieve and going off on a pointless quest isn’t one of them.”

The man’s laugh matched his and he took a step closer to the fire. The light struck his face, revealing chiseled features and a strong jaw that made Tim purposefully lock his knees to keep them from shaking. The only other man he’d ever seen who could even come close to being this handsome was Sir Richard and he refused to make an ass out of himself by falling on his face. Even though this person couldn’t possibly be human because normal eyes didn’t glow or have slits down the center for pupils. Inky black hair fell in disheveled waves over his forehead.

He tightened the grip on his staff, even as he wondered what kind of a chance he stood against whatever this person was. Tim was considered well read and knew the characteristics of all the races that lived in this world, even if he’d only ever met elves and dwarves on occasion when he traveled outside the duchy with Dick on his parent’s business. He’d even met a halfling once, and laughed all night while she cheated outrageously at cards.

But none of their eyes glowed like this. None of them had the hint of curled horns rising out of their hair either.

“Then let me ask a different question then,” the man stated. “If you’re so sure you’re gonna die, then why bother? You could use this chance to do whatever you want, go wherever, and not ever have to worry about what your parents think again.”

It’s something Tim has thought of too. “Don’t think I haven’t thought about that either,” he replied. “But it all comes down to duty. I’ve spent all my life trying to make my parents happy and perhaps this will finally be the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.”

“That’s all well and good, but what about the dragon? He didn’t come lookin’ for a fight. Maybe he’s just tryin’ to do his own thing too, living his own life.” His hand shifted, adjusting a strap on his shoulder and Tim realized the man was carrying a rather large bundle on his back. He also brought up a really good point.

“I never thought of it that way,” he admitted. “My home is sorely lacking in dragon lore, so I’m not even certain how intelligent they are. Do you know then? Since you seem to live around here.”

The man’s lips twisted up into grin, the sharp points of very white canines catching the light of the fire. “I can assure you, the dragon is very intelligent. Much more than puny humans.”

Tim’s hands were starting to ache from the tight grip on his staff, so he consciously loosened them. “Look, I don’t know who you are, or what you are, but you don’t seem like you want to kill me, so sit down and take a load off. That bag looks heavy.” He pointedly sat down on the ground, even though he kept his staff close.

His actions seemed to surprise the man as he again cocked his head to the side to stare at him curiously, like Tim was the fascinating and new creature to study. After a moment, he set a very bulky and heavy looking bag down and sat next to it.

Tim picked up a stick and poked at the coals, causing them to crackle and pop before they settled down again. This whole situation was feeling a bit surreal. It wasn’t like him to be so open in front of a complete stranger, let alone one who looked like a cross between a demon and an elf. There were butterflies in his stomach, and not just because of his upcoming face-off with a dragon. He sighed and caught the man’s eyes again. “I don’t normally do this,” he offered. “I’m just…nervous I guess. I’ve been in life and death situations before, don’t get me wrong, but this time…it just seems so pointless. At least the other times were in defense of my home and my people.”

The man nodded in agreement. “Your parents are a real piece of work, aren’t they?”

“Understatement.” Tim reached over to his saddlebags and pulled out a flagon of wine he’d picked up in the last town he’d visited. He took a sip and handed it to the man. “Here,” he said. “I was going to drink to my health tonight, but it seems rather silly now.”

“What are you gonna do if you don’t die tomorrow?” the man asked, accepting the wine and taking a sip of his own.

“Probably keel over from the shock of it.” No matter how Tim looked at it, he was going to be dead by tomorrow evening. “It’s nice of you to think positively, but come on. It’s a dragon. And I’m not exactly the knight in shining armor from the stories.” He gestured deprecatingly at himself.

The man’s eyes glowed even more brightly as he raked them up and down Tim’s lean frame. “No, you’re not,” he agreed after a long moment. “The stories are overrated anyway. So what are your plans for attacking a dragon?”

Tim shook his head, swallowing down the wave of despair that washed over him at the question. “I’ve no idea. Just wingin’ it, I guess.”

“Now there’s a plan.” The man winked at him, took another sip of wine, and handed the flagon back to Tim. The nails on his hand were dark and long like the ladies in his mother’s court could only dream of.

“Tell me about it.” Tim swallowed down a large mouthful of the fruity wine. It tasted more like juice than fermented grapes, but who was he to judge at this point in time? Still, he would have liked to be at least a little muddle headed when he finally passed out. Or not, it was his last night on earth after all. A bed companion would be nice, but he was pretty certain the man across his small fire was more than he wanted to tango with tonight.

But what a way to go.

“Seriously though, the dragon is smart,” the man spoke. “And you don’t seem like a complete dummy either. Misguided perhaps, but that’s typical of humans, I’ve noticed.”

“Definitely a character flaw,” Tim agreed, wondering yet again exactly what this man was. His horns were more pronounced in the light, black like his hair. They curled back and away from his face, almost like he was wearing a horned helm. But his dark locks gleamed in the firelight, dispelling that idea. “I’m not dumb either, although my current situation certainly makes it seem otherwise.”

“I saw a book earlier…” the man sounded curious.

Tim picked up his journal, the stiff leather cover starting to crack from use and age. He’s refilled the pages so many times, but the simple brown leather protecting them was of his own design. “My journal,” he explained. “I write a little, but it’s mostly sketches and diagrams of things I find interesting.”

“May I?” the man asked. “I’m a bit of a collector.” He purposefully elbowed his bag.

“Why not?” Tim huffed and scooted a little closer, not wanting to risk dropping the book in the hot coals. “It’s not like I’m going to need it after tonight.”

“Now that’s a fatalistic attitude, Sir Knight,” the man replied, accepting the book and delicately opening the pages to flip through them. His eyes widened in surprise. “You have a thing for birds, I see.”

Tim shrugged, used to that sort of reaction. “More like flight,” he said. “The idea behind it, what all allows a bird to take wing, and can it be replicated by humans.” This version of his journal was full of different birds, his observations on how they fly, and diagrams of their wings and tail feathers. “I don’t get a lot of time to myself at home, but my father loves falconry, so I often used hunting with him as an excuse to study the hawks and the falcons he keeps.”

“Birds of prey,” the man nodded in approval. “Built for speed, but also strength. But their wings and their bodies have evolved for life in the sky. Just how do you think you can beat evolution?”

It was something Tim had thought quite extensively about. “Keep going.”

The man quirked a dark brow at him, but did as he was asked. He stopped turning pages at one point and just stared before flipping to the next page and the next, much slower than he had before. It was readily apparent he was reading Tim’s notes and, if his slow nod was any indication, approving of them. It warmed his heart to finally meet someone who understood where his brain took him. Dick tried, he really did, but for all that the man was the first to throw himself into the air to fly on the trapeze his parents didn’t know was in their training yard, he never quite followed what Tim tried to explain time and again.

When he reached the end of the journal, the man closed it tight and stared fiercely at Tim from over the dying fire. “You are completely wasted on your parents. This brain of yours is a thing to be treasured, to be kept and used for the betterment of the world. What do I have to do to convince you not to waste your life fighting a dragon tomorrow?”

Tim ducked his head and chuckled weakly. “That’s awfully nice of you to say,” he said quietly. “But at this point, unless I come home married to some fantastically rich princess who can buy my parent’s love and affection, I may as well not come back at all.”

“Then don’t go back,” the man replied heatedly, rising to his knees to gaze down at Tim. “Stay here. The things I can show you, teach you…”

It was tempting, so tempting, and Tim couldn’t help but wet his lips at the thought of freedom from his parent’s rule, to be his own man, and travel the world, learning all there was to know and seeing all there was to see. But how could he do that when he was responsible for so much at home? With his parent’s travels, he was the one who ran the duchy in their absence, and doing a much better job of it than they ever did. There were people who depended on him and if he did manage to return home after his battle tomorrow, then perhaps he’d finally have the courage to oust his parents and send them off to somewhere they wouldn’t bother him anymore.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke, refusing to look away from the intensely beautiful glowing blue orbs hovering above him. At some point, the man had moved from around the fire and was on his knees right next to him. “I have responsibilities and people I care for, and while my parents may not care for my life, I have to at least try for all of them.”

“You said coming home married to someone loaded would buy them off, right?” The man’s eyes blazed as they bored into Tim’s own pale blue ones.

“I was half-joking,” he tried, but the man raised a dark nailed finger and pressed it against his lips.

“But you were half-serious too.”

Tim huffed a laugh because this was starting to get ridiculous. He brushed the hand aside, noting how warm the skin was. “Are you trying to tell me that you’d marry me just to save my life?”

“Yes,” the man breathed. “You humans have such a short life span, so it wouldn’t be much of a chore. But given the chance, I think you could do more with your life than most do.”

“This is the strangest marriage proposal I’ve ever had,” Tim replied, his lips twisting into a half smirk of his own. “We’ve just met. I don’t know who or what you even are.”

Blue eyes brightened in apparent amusement as the man rocked back on his heels. Even seated as they are, he still loomed over Tim. “You may call me Jason,” he said, grinning toothily. “I’m the dragon you were sent to kill.”

#chibinightowl writes #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #JayTim #Dragon!AU

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musicprincess655 · 6 years ago

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“He’s hiding something.”

“Totally hiding something.”

“It’s my unending hatred of you both,” Jun told his sisters. “Now can you both fuck off?”

“Aww, Jun-chan!”

“You know we’ve just both missed you.”

And the thing was, he had missed them too. Jun loved his sisters, of course he did. But he was clearly studying right now, and he wanted to be left alone.

His oldest sister gasped.

“You didn’t meet a boy, did you?” Jun was completely sure he hadn’t changed expressions, but Mika knew his reaction anyway, because she always did. “You totally did!”

“He did?” Satomi asked, delighted. Jun had always been closer to her, probably because Mika was just so much older than him, already leaving the house by the time he was old enough to get close to her. “Jun, who do you think you are? You’re supposed to tell your loving big sister these things!”

“First of all, I’ve met a lot of people. Kind of comes with the territory of being in a new city,” Jun said. If he could just stay calm, they would – maybe – leave him alone, and he wasn’t studying for nothing. “Second of all, I don’t owe you my life story. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“What’s his name?” Mika asked.

“Is he hot?” Satomi continued. “Tell me I raised you with enough taste to pick a hot one.”

Jun dropped his head onto his textbook. They really weren’t going to back off, were they?

“His name is Yuuki Tetsuya,” Jun sighed. “He’s model hot. He plays baseball.”

“He doesn’t look like some meathead jock, does he?” Mika asked doubtfully, but Satomi waved her off.

“No, baseball players are usually more lean muscles, and have you ever seen their asses?” she gushed. “They’re always tight from all the sprints. You could bounce a coin off them.”

“So if we’re done objectifying people…?” Jun trailed off, but without much hope either of them would get the hint.

“How did you meet?”

“Have you confessed yet?”

“What’s he look like?”

“Let me talk!” he growled. They both stopped talking at once, looking at him expectantly. “We’re not dating. I haven’t confessed anything. I’m not even sure he likes guys.” At the twin unimpressed looks he got for that, he grudgingly continued, “it’s an affront to men everywhere if he’s not at least bi.”

“But what’s he look like?” Mika insisted. “I’m not ready to trust Satomi’s word that he’s not some meathead jock that doesn’t deserve you.”

“Hang on, I have a picture,” Jun said, scrolling through his phone.

The last time they’d hung out before Jun left for winter break, Yuuki had pulled him into a one armed hug and snapped a picture of both of them, half hidden in their scarves from the winter cold that had blown in. Jun had yelled at him for it, but he’d also insisted on being sent the picture.

He looked away from his screen to see Mika and Satomi staring at him.

“What?”

“You have a selfie with him?” Mika demanded.

“Friends take selfies together,” Jun defended himself. “He’s the one who took this.”

“I can see his arm holding the phone, yeah,” Satomi agreed. “He totally wants to bang you.”

“You don’t even know him!”

“Don’t have to,” Satomi said, tapping Yuuki’s face. “Look at how he looks. How he’s smiling with you.”

“His mouth is hidden in his scarf, how can you even tell?”

“Because I have eyes, and I can see his.”

“He’s a cutie,” Mika said. “Tetsu-san. I approve.”

“Does he go to Seidou as well?” Satomi asked.

“No, he’s human,” Jun told them reluctantly, because every word he spoke was more potential future blackmail material. “He goes to Meiji.”

“Ooo, a smart boy!” Mika squealed. “What’s he study?”

“Classical literature.”

Mika and Satomi groaned, twin tones that were just close enough to be dissonant.

“If you don’t marry him I’m disowning you,” Mika threatened.

“If you don’t marry him I will,” Satomi continued. “He’s perfect. You think he likes women too?”

“I have no idea what he likes,” Jun said. “I haven’t asked.”

“Use context clues!” Mika snapped. “Your brain is for more than taking up space between your ears!”

“Or just confess!” Satomi suggested. “You don’t even go to the same school, you can just cut him out if it goes badly.”

Jun had been content to let them continue the conversation at their own pace, but he was cutting it off right there.

“I’m not going to do that,” he said, sharper than he intended, but also just the right level of harsh. Mika and Satomi shut up immediately. “I like being his friend. If…when, fine, when I confess, I’m going to make sure we can still be friends if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t be angry,” Mika offered. “He looks like a decent guy.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure the gay part won’t bother him whether he likes me or not,” Jun said. “The werewolf part might, though.”

Mika and Satomi looked at each other. The silence was uneasy.

“You haven’t told him you’re a werewolf?” Satomi asked, voice uncomfortably small.

“Of course I haven’t told him,” Jun said. “I didn’t want to send him running screaming.”

“He might not,” Mika said. “He might like you for you anyway.”

“Like Takumi did?” Jun regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. “Mika, I…”

“Don’t.” She took a steadying breath. “I know you didn’t mean it to hurt. It still did, though.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jun said, not entirely sure how they’d gone from playing around to fucking up so bad. He knew better than to mention Mika’s fiancé. Former fiancé. Former because she’d hid the truth for years, and only proven why she was right to hide it when she finally told him. “I shouldn’t have said that. Takumi didn’t deserve you if he didn’t want you like you are.”

“Damn straight,” Mika said. She bravely didn’t let her tears fall. “You understand that not everyone hates us, right? There are still some people that are fucks, but it’s 2018. The Shape of Water came out. Monster fucking is mainstream.”

“And what if the monster would rather cuddle?” Jun asked.

“Then the werewolf better realize he’s not a monster and has words to ask to cuddle,” Mika said. “Don’t sit up here all break feeling sorry for yourself. You’re not helping anything.”

“I’m not…” But he kind of was. “I do actually have to study. Give me an hour and I’ll come listen to all your work stories.”

“You’ll like the one about the businessman from a competitor I wrapped around my finger and then broke,” Mika said, accepting the olive branch for what it was. She and Satomi left Jun to his work.

Which wasn’t really much better, if he was honest. He’d been kind of hiding from his sisters, sure, but now that he was focusing in his limited time, the stress settled back in.

Because he had to take exams almost as soon as he went back to school, only a month left after break. And as he was now, there was absolutely no way he was passing practical magic.

His grades in every other subject were almost an insult, after that. Over ninety percent in all of them, and a rare perfect score – seriously, who got a perfect one hundred percent in a university class? – in Takashima’s class since she reset for the second semester.

And none of it would mean anything if he failed practical magic.

He probably wasn’t supposed to take this many books home with him, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He had every theory book that looked even remotely promising. There had to be something, something. He had power inside him, he could feel that. There had to be a way to use it.

He jumped from book to book, skimming through, looking for anything that could be useful. A chapter on lunar cycles and their effect on spellwork caught his eye. He started reading more in depth. He’d had an idea that the lunar cycles, since they had such an effect on his own magic, would possibly offer him a solution, but had so far found nothing.

Because, as it turned out, there wasn’t much people knew about the way to use lunar cycles in combination with practical magic. Sure, it was well documented how they could be figured into theoretical spell setup, but actually incorporating them into practical usage? Jun hadn’t managed to find any sources yet.

This book was more of the same. It knew the lunar cycles had some effect, but no one had apparently seen any reason to find out what that effect actually was. Which meant it was useless to Jun.

He slammed the book shut with a growl and a lot more force than strictly necessary. There had to be some way out of this, he was sure of it. He couldn’t accept that he was fucked.

“Mom?” he called down the hallway, emerging from his room. Mom poked her head out of the kitchen.

“What’s up?” she asked. “You look upset.”

“School is hard,” he said, shrugging it off.

“I’m sure it’s not because you picked a course that’s never been possible for one of us.” Her sarcasm was gentle, but Jun flinched anyway.

“What do you know about how we can use the lunar cycles to use magic?” he asked. Maybe there was some secret werewolf lore that could help him, something they’d kept among themselves and never shared with witches.

“You mean how we shift?” she asked.

“No, I mean…is there any way we can use the lunar cycles to do anything else?” Jun asked. “Literally anything. I can work with anything.”

“Jun.” Jun hated that tone, because he couldn’t argue with it. It wasn’t trying to hurt him. It was trying to help, and somehow, that hurt more. “That’s not how our magic works, and I think you know that.”

“But what if it could?” Jun asked desperately. “Hasn’t anyone ever tried?”

“You’re naïve if you think you’re the first one to try.”

Jun looked down at his feet. She was right. In fact, part of what he’d looked for at first was a source from another werewolf trying to find out how to use their power like a witch. Obviously they wouldn’t have found a solution, but maybe they’d given him a starting point.

He’d had no such luck, though.

“You know there’s nothing wrong with you right now,” Mom said. “You’re not the same as witches, and that’s a good thing. Different kinds of magic are what keep this world running. It would be a pretty boring place if everyone was the same.”

“You know why I’m doing this.”

“So you can play in the big boy sandbox?” she asked sharply. “I’m going to tell you something that your sisters have never believed and you probably won’t either, but I swear to you it’s true. The people who hate you are loud, and they’re powerful, and they take up a lot of space. But they’re not the majority. And once you stop trying to look at them and see anything but what they are, you’ll look somewhere else and you’ll see there are a lot of people who’d rather love you.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jun muttered. “Look what happened to Mika.”

“Heartbreak is part of life,” she said. “It sucks, and it’s horrible, but once she has time to heal, she’ll see this means he wasn’t right for her. And she’ll go out, and she’ll try again, and maybe she’ll get hurt again, but maybe she won’t. And I think we’d both agree that would be worth it.”

“Getting hurt sucks.”

“Yes. But not everyone is going to hurt you. Look how I turned out.”

“Maybe Dad’s just weird,” Jun suggested. “Humans are like that, I hear.”

“They are,” Mom agreed. “I hear you have one of your own now.”

“You told Mom?!” Jun demanded. He could hear both his sisters laughing from the next room.

“Jun,” Mom said, bringing his attention back to her. “I see so much of myself in you. Stop chasing something you can’t have, and look around to see what you can.”

“What if I get hurt?” he asked. “What if he runs screaming?”

“What if he doesn’t?”

#tetsujun #juntetsu #daiya no a #ace of diamond #dna #my writing #magic au #cosa

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