#now it's too late to do anything before nye

[heebsjeebs]

I'm a little... sad? Disappointed? I don't know, both words sound too strong... But I do feel a kind if way about not giving anything to anyone online before the end of the year. I value this place and the people in it too, you know.

[lacydollette]

NYE KISS .ᐟ w/ bf!drew

warnings established relationship, socially akward reader, drew comforting reader, lots of fluff, kissing

You lingered near the edge of the ongoing party, clutching a glass of sparkling cider in one hand while nervously smoothing the hem of your dress with the other. You weren’t much of a party person, but when drew had invited you to spend new years with him and his friends, how could you say no?

You’d been seeing each other for a little over a month now—casual dates here and there, hours of late night calls and sweet moments during your visits on set. But nothing was official, nothing defined.

From across the room, Drew caught sight of you standing by yourseldf, your eyes scanning the crowd nervously, lowkey searching for Madelyn, she always knew how to make you laugh. Drew’s heart ached a little. You weren’t the type to throw yourself into the center of a party, but you’d come anyway, and that meant the world to him.

He excused himself from the conversation he’d been having with some friends before crossing the room to you. As soon as you saw him approaching, you felt relieved, lips curving into a shy smile.

“There you are,” he said warmly, his voice cutting through the noise around you. “I was starting to think you’d pull a forest gump.” You laughed softly at the reference, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Not yet. Just… taking it all in.”

“Is it too much?” he asked, his brows knitting together in concern, his palm finding the curve of your back. You shook your head, cheeks flushing. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Just not used to this many people.”

Drew’s lips twitched into a small smile. He could see you trying, stepping out of your comfort zone, and it made his chest ache in the best way. “Well, you’ve got me,” he said gently as he leaned closer. “You don’t have to worry about anything.” You nodded, your smile growing. “Thanks, Drew.”

For the next little while, he stayed close to your side, introducing you to more friends, sharing easy jokes to make you laugh, and sneaking glances at you when you weren’t looking. God, you were beautiful. Not just in the way you looked, but in the openness you carried even when you felt out of place. He admired that about you—how you tried, even when you were unsure.

As the night wore on and the countdown to midnight approached, the party shifted. People gathered in groups, laughter growing louder as everyone prepared to welcome the new year. Drew felt his stomach flip. He knew he wanted to kiss you once the counter hit zero—more than anything—but he wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it.

You two found yourself standing together near the living room, Drew’s arms lingering on your waist, as the big screen on the wall showed the ball drop in Times Square. He glanced down at you. You looked nervous, fingers fidgeting with your glass, but there was a quiet kind of excitement in your eyes, too.

Drew had been thinking about kissing you for weeks now. He didn’t want to rush it, didn’t want to ruin the slow build between the two of you. But as the year ticked away, he couldn’t imagine a better time.

He shifted closer to you, his voice low and smooth. “y/n?” You looked up at him, eyes wide and bright. “Yeah?” He smiled softly, “So, I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?” You asked, curiosity spreading through you. He let his fingers brush against yours, a small, deliberate touch that made your cheeks flush. “About how the year’s almost over. And about how much better it would be if I started the next one with you.”

Your breath caught in your throat, and Drew stepped just a little closer, his hand grazing your again, this time lingering. “What do you say?” he asked, his voice soft but sure. “would you share your New Year’s kiss with me?”

Your heart skipped a beat, your eyes locked on his beautiful blue ones, and cheeks pink as you nodded slowly. “I’d like that.” Drew’s smile grew, his heart pounding at your answer. The crowd around you began counting down, voices rising in excitement.

“Ten… nine… eight…”

He took your hand in his, lacing your fingers together.

“Seven… six… five…”

His free hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing gently against your skin, leaving it tingling as he leaned in.

“Four… three… two…”

“Happy New Year, y/n,” he murmured, just before your lips met.

The kiss was everything the both of you had imagined it would be—soft, sweet, and unhurried, like the world had paused just for you. Drew’s hand tightened around your face, letting yourself fall into his touch. It was your first kiss with him, and he wanted to make sure you felt how special it was.

When you finally pulled back, Drew stayed close, his forehead resting lightly against yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he confessed, his voice a little breathless. Your shy smile grew, eyes shining as you whispered back, “Me too.”

The cheers and noisemakers of the party surrounded you, but Drew barely noticed. All he could think about was how this moment, this kiss, felt like the perfect beginning to something bigger.

What a way to start the year.

[tightjeansjavi]

⟡ sentiments n’ bubbly ⟡

A/N: so, this one another one of my post shower thoughts that has now transformed into this little fic 🥹 this time of the year is a struggle for myself and for others, and I hope it can bring us all a bit of peace before the new year 🤍

~word count: 4.5k~

pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: it’s NYE and you find yourself in Joel Miller’s coffee shop. He’s a firm believer that no one deserves to spend New Year’s Eve alone.

Warnings: angst, fluff, no age gap, discussions of self image issues, bullying, food/eating, language, anxiety, fear of social situations, fomo, mentions of therapy, NYE blues, self deprecating thoughts, flirting, meet-cute, no outbreak/modern day AU, Sarah and Tommy exist in this universe, soft!joel, mentions of alcohol, reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color, some content included may be triggering for some as Joel and the reader have some very real conversations about life. +18 minors dni!

It’s New Year's Eve. The official last day of the year. A whole 365 days has come and gone, and yet, you find yourself feeling the same way you did last year. It wasn’t like you had a particularly terrible life or anything of the sorts, but you still had your struggles. Your daily contemplations over whether you were doing enough, being enough in your little life. You try to focus on all the good that happened in those 365 days of life.

All the laughter, smiles, the warm fuzzy feelings that you found yourself chasing more often than none. The bad times always find their way to trickle in and weasel into your conscience like an infection. The truth is that you know life comes with both good and bad memories. But why is it so hard to push back the bad? Why is it so easy to beat yourself down? You could have done this better, you shouldn’t have said the things you said, did you remember to turn your out of office on before you left the office?

Shit. There was that one email I didn’t get to.

Maybe you find yourself trying to cram in as many last minute tasks before the new year. Closet clean out? You haven’t worn that sweater in months..yet, you find yourself holding onto it because it was a gift from a dear friend, and you don’t want to unintentionally hurt their feelings by donating or regifting it.

Fridge clean out? Well, it does say that horseradish never expires..but you can never be too careful!

Clean your living space from top to bottom? Maybe next year you’ll invest in cleaner products for both the earth and your brain cells. Bleach can be awfully nasty to deal with.

Your phone buzzes on the coffee table in front of you. Leftovers are your meal of choice for the evening. You spent hours cleaning your kitchen, and you’d rather not have to do another wipe down till tomorrow.

Hey, are you sure you don’t want to come out with us tonight? We’re leaving in an hour!

It's not that you don’t want to go out with your friends, it’s the steps before getting out the door that have always been a struggle for you.

What if my outfit doesn’t look the way I planned it out in my head?

What if I completely botch this makeup look?

What if the club is too packed?

You hate feeling this way, often thinking you’re a burden to your friends because you're constantly planning ahead of time. Living in the moment for you has always been tough. A gray area that sometimes you have found yourself making peace with, and other times you just wish you could be different.

You reach for your phone while you’re already mentally planning the steps in order to get ready in time. Being late is never an option, even when it’s just a fun night out in town.

Hey, I thought it over and I’d love to come out with you guys :) see you soon!

You send the text in a flash before tossing your half eaten slice of pizza onto the coffee table and rush to your room.

You tear up every inch of your closet looking for the perfect outfit. It's New Year’s Eve after all, and you want to be shimmering like a grand disco ball.

The outfit is on, and you look great! It turned out even better than you pictured it in your head. But the longer you stare in the mirror.

Fuck. Can’t I just turn my brain off for one night? Please?

And there it is, again. That gnawing little voice inside your head that pops up, gleaming and waving its hand just in case you forgot that it existed.

You aren’t actually going to wear that..are you?

It looks all wrong.

And you’re going to be freezing—

Your friends are going to look 10x better than you—

“ENOUGH!” You shout to no one in particular before you stomp off to the bathroom.

After taking a deep breath, you pull out your array of makeup from one of the bathroom drawers. Pinterest becomes your best friend again while you scroll to find a makeup look that screams you.

Bold. Glittery. Too much glitter?

There is never such a thing as too much glitter. You remind that little voice inside of your head.

Even with your ‘going out playlist’ on full blast, you feel your confidence begin to shrink and diminish as you stare at your painted face in the mirror. It’s not exactly like the picture you found on Pinterest, but there’s no time for you to change it now.

Your phone buzzes again, and this time it’s your friends sending you a group picture of all of them pregaming in their glittery outfits and bright smiles. You heart the message before typing back,

Wow, you guys look amazing! Please don’t be mad, I’m just not feeling up for it tonight. I hope you guys have a blast and stay safe! :)

Your friends understand, because they know that this has always been a struggle for you. A sore spot that hasn’t exactly quite healed the way you wish it had. It’s hard to dig yourself out of a hole that you dug, but you're grateful that they have always been so understanding.

No worries, we love you, and Happy New Year!

And all you feel is guilt.

But instead of wallowing away in your apartment, you grab your coat, purse and keys before making the final decision to go out.

You find yourself outside of a coffee shop just down the block from your apartment. You passed by it everyday during your commute to work, but you never found yourself going in, until now.

The coffee shop is found to be empty as most people are already out to dinner or at a party. It’s somewhat comforting that it’s just you and the lone barista who hadn’t heard you come in yet. His back is turned to you while he wipes down one of the counters, humming to himself as he moves about.

You're immediately drawn into how cozy everything feels. From the decor to the crackling fireplace to the soft music playing through the speakers.

The man turns then, towel gently grasped in his hand when he finally registers that he’s no longer alone. He takes in your attire, finding it odd that someone all dressed up for the evening found themselves here. Then he remembered how his daughter told him it’s rude to judge strangers because you never know what the next person is going through.

He smiles warmly instead. “Hey there, I was uh—jus’ about to close up for the evenin’ but can I get you anythin?’” He’s got a face that you already know you’re going to have a hard time forgetting. Strong built frame, yet soft in all the right places and despite his exterior appearing to be hardened, he seems friendly enough.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I hadn’t noticed that you were closing up for the night..I don’t want to keep you here. I can always come back another time?”

He detects the way your face slightly begins to fall as he lightly taps his fingers along the counter top he just finished wiping down. “S’alright. I forgot to change the sign out front so that’s all on me. So, what can I get ya? It’s on the house.” He gestured to the menu board above his head.

You hesitated for a moment as you didn’t want to inconvenience this man who probably had his own New Year’s Eve plans to get to. “Are you..sure? I really don’t mind coming back another day.”

“S’alright, I promise. I don’t have anywhere important I need to be anyway.” He said with a slight shrug.

“No fun New Year's Eve plans? And I’ll take a cappuccino, please.” You stepped closer to the counter as you reached into your purse for your wallet.

“Nah. ‘Supposed to meet my brother at a bar nearby for a couple drinks, but he can wait a little longer.” He was already reaching his hand out to stop you from pulling out your wallet, when your eyes met his.

“For the tip.” You said with a smile while placing a couple five dollar bills into the tip jar.

“Oh, thank you. ‘Awfully kind of ya.” He responds softly, out of surprise because most people never bothered to tip. He might even be blushing a little..but he can’t really tell. Maybe it was just the steam from the espresso machine.

“It’s no problem. Gotta support small businesses, y’know?”

He nods in understanding. “Yeah, it’s the least people can do. Anyway, I’ll get that Cappuccino goin’ for ya. Feel free to sit wherever.” He gestured to the empty tables.

The table closest to the fireplace ended up being the one you ultimately chose. It happened to also be his favorite spot as well, go figure.

On any other occasion, Joel would call the customer's name once their drink was ready, but given the current circumstances..and the fact that he hadn’t asked for your name, bringing the coffee to you was perfectly acceptable.

“Here’s that Cappuccino for ya.” His voice drawled above you as he set the mug down in front of you. “Let me know if I can getcha anythin’ else. I’ll just be in the back finishin’ up with the cleanin.’”

“Thank you..” you start to say before realizing that you don’t know this man’s name either.

“Joel.” He clears his throat. “My name is Joel, and you are?..”

You tell him your name and he nods with a small smile.

You're left alone to your thoughts as his footsteps disappear behind the countertop once more. You can faintly hear him busying himself and putzing around as your cappuccino begins to cool without you realizing it.

You find yourself vacantly staring through the windows, and the dimly lit streets and passerby’s. You’ve always had a fond love for people watching and imagining what their lives were like. What their jobs and aspirations were. Did they have a family waiting for them? What made them happy? Would they be able to relate to you?

You don’t even hear Joel’s approaching footsteps nearing the table until he’s saying your name with an edge of concern in his voice because you’ve neglected to have a single sip of your cappuccino that has now become room temperature.

Your eyes meet his deep brown warm ones as your own sense of confusion washes over you.

“Is everythin’ alright? You haven’t touched your cappuccino at all..” he’s not offended, nor hurt, but the empath in him is genuinely concerned, even though you’re just a stranger in his coffee shop.

“Oh.” Your voice falls flat. “I’m so sorry, Joel. I guess I got lost in my own thoughts and completely forgot about it.” You feel bad, awful actually because he took the time to make you this drink, and all you had to do was just drink it—

“Hey, it’s alright. I find myself getting lost in my own thoughts as well. But, I can’t have ya drinkin’ a cold Cappuccino. I’ll make you a new one, alright? It’s no trouble at all.” He’s already reaching over to grab the mug.

“Joel, are you sure? You really don’t have to—”

He cuts you off reassuringly, “I insist. I won’t have my customer drinkin’ a cold Cappuccino on my watch. Ain’t no way.”

He disappears back behind the counter before you are able to protest. Joel returns 10 minutes later with two mugs in hand. You listen to the sound of the chair across from you scraping before he slowly sits down.

“I uh—hope you don’t mind me joinin’ ya? You jus’ seem like you could use some company, darlin.’ S’that alright for me to call you darlin?’”

He’s sweet like warm sticky molasses and honey. He actually might be the nicest guy you’ve met in a long long time.

“Oh, I don’t mind at all, Joel. I could actually use the company, and you can call me darling. That’s alright with me too.”

He smiles at you over the rim of his mug that is clasped between his hands. He gently blows on the billowing steam before he takes a small sip. “So, do you have any fun plans for the evenin’? I’m only assumin’ cus’ you’re all dressed up for a night out in town.” He gestures to your glittery getup that sparkles under the warm flames.

“Well, I did have plans to meet up with some friends tonight..but I wasn’t feeling up for it in the end and somehow ended up here.” You said with a sigh before taking a sip of your own Cappuccino. “This is delicious, by the way.”

“How come?..if ya don’t mind me askin?’ And I’m glad you’re enjoyin’ it. Tastes a lot better when it’s hot.”

The last thing you expected tonight was to engage in a conversation about your daily anxieties with this absolutely gorgeous man. Whom you just met, but crazier things have happened before.

“I don’t mind you asking, Joel. I just don’t want to burden you with my troubles or anything. Especially since I think they’re a bit silly and blown out of proportion.” Your eyes casted downwards into the mug.

“Hey, I doubt you can do that, and between you and me? I’ve heard it all. Got a teenage daughter who’s goin’ through all the things that I’m tryin’ to understand..but as a single father, it’s fuckin’ tough sometimes. But I’d be happy to act as a listenin’ ear for ya.” He genuinely means it, too.

“You have a daughter? How old is she? Teenagers can be a handful, that is very true.” You responded thoughtfully while leaning back against the chair.

You watch the way his eyes light up like a Christmas tree when you show a genuine interest in this man’s life. It’s sometimes a rare occurrence to meet a stranger who you feel like you can just immediately open up to without thinking too hard about it.

“She just turned 13 this year. She’s a good kid, super smart. The kinda kid that probably will end up growin’ up and changin’ the world. She’s..well, my world.” He clears his throat and you notice his dimple poking out in his cheek.

As if this man couldn’t become any more attractive.

“Anyway, she’s already goin’ through some friend and boy drama and it’s jus’ a lot to keep up with. Her mom ain’t in the picture either, so it’s not like I can turn to her for any guidance. She went to her first ever school dance this year in a dress that she picked out. The next thing I know, she’s callin’ me up in tears because some kids thought it was okay to make fun of how she looked. I know kids can be mean sometimes, but I wanted to go in there and teach those little shits a lesson myself.”

He was quite the protective father.

“Kids can be real bitches sometimes, Joel. I never quite understood it myself. Especially since I’m sure your daughter was just minding her own business and having a good time? I learned at a very young age that there’s a lot of jealous people in this world that enjoy causing pain in others for no apparent reason.They might have their own struggles, but that is no justification. Those kids that bullied your daughter will hopefully learn from their mistakes sooner rather than later.”

“She was just mindin’ her own and having a great time. She was so excited to wear her dress. It jus’ makes me so goddamn angry because I can’t protect her from everythin’ out there. It’s somethin’ that I’ve really struggled with this year especially. And I’ve tried to talk to my brother about it, but he doesn’t get it either.” Joel said with a sigh. “I’m glad that you can understand all of this though. I don’t really have any female friends to talk to about this stuff either.”

“Most kids grow out of their ‘mean’ phase after highschool. I can admit that I went through a phase similar to that. Made a lot of mistakes that I had to hold myself accountable for. But, with your love and support, I think your daughter is gonna end up being okay. She’s lucky to have you as a dad.” You reassure him.

“Really? You don’t seem like the type of person to ever hurt someone..then again, I ain’t perfect either. Never have been, never will. I’ve had my own regrets as well. But, I appreciate all that you’re sayin.’ S’Nice to be validated every now and then.” He leans forward with his elbows resting along the table and you’re just beginning to notice how broad his shoulders truly are under his faded flannel.

“I don’t think anyone can ever claim to be perfect. We don’t know everything and can make genuine mistakes. But all we can really do is learn from them, make it up to the people we may have hurt, and move forward. I think you’re a really nice person, based on our conversation, Joel.”

“You’re right, darlin.’ No one in this world can claim they are perfect. It's impossible.” His knee brushed yours gently from how close he was leaning in giving you a clear indication that he was actively listening to everything you were saying. “Anyway, I’m sorry I went off on that tangent jus’ now when we were talkin’ about your New Year’s Eve plans.”

“Dammit.” You sighed with a smile tugging on your lips. “I thought you forgot all about that.”

“Nah. I’m pretty good at rememberin’ even if I find myself havin’ to circle back. So, you didn’t feel up to meeting’ your friends tonight?”

“I was going to, truly. But I just got into my head way too much. It started with finding an outfit to wear. I absolutely tore my closet up and I’m really dreading having to clean it up later. Anyway, I’ve got the outfit on, right?”

He nods while taking another sip of his Cappuccino.

“I’m feeling great, and loving the way the outfit looks on me, and then there’s that stupid mean voice inside my brain. You know the one?”

“Ahh yeah. The voice that tells us that we’re unattractive and worthless? Like when we put on our favorite outfit and it’s not fitting quite right, and we know it’s silly to cry over clothes..but sometimes we just can’t help it? And that voice is right there beating us down because sometimes we forget that it’s natural for our bodies to change?”

Damn, he’s good.

“So...you hear that voice sometimes too? I honestly thought I was alone in this feeling. I tend to keep these thoughts to myself because I don’t want to burden others, y’know? I do see a therapist, though. It definitely has helped a lot, but I’m still struggling.”

“Darlin,’ I know exactly where you’re comin’ from. I had these favorite pairs of jeans that I would wear pretty much everyday. Well, just this past month I found that they ain’t fittin’ the way they used to. The zipper wouldn’t budge, and then I spent a good hour tryin’ all the tricks in the book to get those suckers to fit. Well, none of it worked and then I started beatin’ myself up. Sayin’ all the nasty names I could come up with. Then after all of that, I thought about all the delicious meals I had this year and especially these damn ice cream sundaes that my kid is obsessed with. Suddenly, the jeans not fittin’ didn’t bother me as much anymore.”

“Ice cream sundaes are delicious, and even more-so when you are enjoying them with your daughter. I pretty much went through the exact thing that you’re describing. I know that we shouldn’t give into the societal bullshit of looking a certain way to appear more attractive, but it’s just hard sometimes. That’s why I try to cycle through my closet every now and then so I’m not holding onto clothing that doesn’t fit me anymore. Did you end up keeping the jeans?..”

“She’s been requestin’ them for dessert pretty much every night, and I have a hard time tellin’ her no. They are absolutely delicious. It is definitely hard to pass them up sometimes. It’s comforting to know that other people go through the exact same thing that we’ve gone through. I did in fact donate the jeans, and then bought a new pair the same day. Wearin’ ‘em now actually, and I gotta say, I think I look quite good in ‘em if I do say so myself.” He said in a cheeky tone that sent heat rising on your cheeks.

“Well, I think you should stand up, if you feel comfortable doing so, that is, and let’s see what this jeans talk is all about.”

He grins at you, eyebrows playfully dancing while he sets his mug down along the table before pushing his chair back to stand up.

He gives you a little spin, one that neither you were expecting, but you could tell that he was having fun showing off his new denim.

“Okay, respectfully? Those jeans look amazing on you, they are very flattering, Joel.”

He laughs a warm and hearty laugh as his cheeks turn beet red from your words. Even if you’re just playing along, he’s feeling charmed by your presence.

“Really? Y’know, I was thinkin’ the same thing and a’that..but I’m a pretty humble guy.” He said sheepishly.

“Joel, screw being humble. You’re wearing those jeans like they’re made for you! You gotta own that.” You said with a giggle.

“Alright. Alright. If ya say so, darlin.’ I appreciate the compliment, but have ya taken a look at yourself tonight? You’re glitterin’ like a goddamn mirror ball. Gonna blind me with all that sparkle Y’got goin’ on.” He’s flirting, now. He’s absolutely shamelessly flirting with you.

You find yourself leaning forward then, close enough that he can see the pretty shimmer painted on your eyelids and your undeniable flirty smile.

“Joel, are you flirting with me right now?” You’re feeling bold, and curious to know if you were reading the signs correctly, or letting your brain run a muck in theories.

“I am, darlin.’ Is that..alright? Cus’ if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I can stop.”

“No, please continue to flirt away. I’m glad that you’re getting to see my outfit, Joel. I probably have glitter in places where glitter doesn’t belong.” You said with a light, airy laugh.

“You’ll be finding little bits of glitter all over the place well within the next year. Do you have any to spare?” He asked with a warm chuckle.

“Actually..I do have some to spare.” You reached for your purse along the side of the chair and pulled out your tube of glitter eyeshadow that you had brought just in case you needed any touch ups. “May I?”

“Oh, you really weren’t kiddin’ when you said you have some to spare, huh?” He leaned in closer to get a better look. “That’s a really pretty color, darlin.’ You think I can pull that off?”

“I don’t kid when it comes to my glitter, Joel.” You said teasingly. “I absolutely think you can pull this color off. But, I’ll need you to close your eyes so I can apply this more eveningly.”

“Okay, I’m trustin’ you, darlin.’” He slowly closed his eyes then and only flinched a little when he felt the applicator glide across his eyelid. “Sorry, wasn’t it expectin’ to feel that damn cold.” He murmured softly.

“No worries, Joel. It can be a bit ticklish at times.” You scooted your chair in closer to him so both of your knees were tucked in between his as you delicately applied the shimmering shadow. Your tongue was peeking out between your lips as you focused on the task at hand.

He tried to peek his eye open once, before you playfully scolded him and said, no peeking.

To which he grumbled out a response with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Am I pretty yet, darlin?’” He asked with his eyes still shut as you admired your work.

“Very pretty, Joel. Okay, you can go ahead and open them.” You pulled out a little handheld mirror from your purse and held it out for him to admire his appearance.

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the feeling before he averted his attention to the mirror you were holding. “Oh, shit. Wow. Y’know what..I actually think I like it.” He looked over at you then before he realized how close you were sitting to him. “Thank you, darlin’ I feel like I’m a mirror ball too.”

“It really brings out your eyes, Joel. They were already pretty before, but now, they’re even more beautiful.”

You were already forgetting about how awful you felt earlier, and the guilty feelings for turning down your friend's offer to go out. It admittedly felt nice to talk to another person that shared more things in common with you than you realized. To be validated, and in turn, validate someone as well? It felt really, really good inside.

“So, now that we’re both glittered up, and it’s two hours till the start of the new year, would you maybe care to join me for a drink? Only if you’re feeling up for it, that is.” Joel asked you with his eyes flickering back to yours. Truthfully, he’s happy that you somehow found yourself in his coffee shop tonight. He can’t remember the last time he’s connected with someone on such a deep and personal level.

“I’d love to get a drink with you, Joel.” You don’t even second guess your answer, and if the feelings come up later, so be it. That little voice inside of your head is nowhere to be found as Joel offers you his arm.

You help him finish closing up for the night before the two of you find yourselves walking arm in arm to the bar that his brother Tommy was at. During your walk, you find yourselves falling back into conversation that flows easy like a steady stream. When you bring up feeling guilty for often being a homebody, he reassures you that wanting to spend a quiet evening with yourself is perfectly normal, and it’s something you shouldn’t feel ashamed of. He goes on to add that if you want to go out more, that’s perfectly okay to do as well. But you should never pressure yourself to go out and have a good time, if that’s truly not what you want to do.

And when you find Joel’s brother at the high top with a glass of bubbly in front of him, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, “Joel, what is that on your face?” He leans in close to inspect the glitter shadow painted on Joel’s eyelids.

You and Joel turn to one another with two knowing smiles plastered on your faces before you laugh in unison, “it’s glitter, of course!”

banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

I no longer have a tag list so please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications!

[herejusttosufferalong]

So I know this whole time people have been saying, we're not saying it's his gf until he says it is, it's a situationship. We still haven't heard that out of his mouth right? Cuz I mean popular people in the fandom are saying they accept his relationship and "jumping ship" as it were. We knew they were seeing each other but he still hasn't claimed her publicly technically. I might be missing something but am also still scratching my head about this whole thing cuz it doesn't make any freaking sense. Please help!

I'm not exactly sure what the question is here tbh but let's just do a brief rundown for any newbies. If i get anything jumbled pls correct me, I'm drinking and a few deep already...

We all have know about A for a long time now and at every turn L would contradict himself regarding her.

NYE kiss comes to light, few days late there is an article claiming him to be single.

He goes to Paris for 24 hrs in Jan, people know A is locked in a bathroom there. He rushes off to NY and a week or 2 later an article comes out that there isn't even a potential partner, he is single.

Mind you this article comes out roughly a week before the VDAY event. Then he brings A to the VDAY event, where again, she is his pet locked in a bathroom. Fans find this info out. Queue more articles dropping he is single.

Then the InStyle stunt happens end of April where it's undeniable atp. A is in the picture and not going anywhere but in what capacity? We, the fandom, all have her pegged as the gf and have had for months. But what happens right before Italy? More articles come out stating he is single.

The thing about the majority of these articles is that they were confirmed by either L or his team.

So why? He had every opportunity to get out in front of this before it turned into a shit show like we have now. Even if he wasn't completely serious about her just be honest. You can do so and keep everything private.

TBH though, I think we all know why he let it play out the way he did. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.

Now we are getting a continual series of passive aggressive soft launches and it makes no sense but it is what it is.

I'm sure we will either get a hard launch within the next 2 weeks and they will last another 6-10 months. Or he will quietly drop her after the 90 days because I have a feeling she is a wild card and is holding something over him that could cause further damage.

I COULD ALSO BE COMPLETELY WRONG

WHO KNOWS

BUT IF YOU ARE JUMPING SHIP NOW

YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO LAST

[madamspellmans-met-tet]

Watching the fireworks and all I can think about is:

“But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky” — LDR, Ride Monologue

A year ago, I was still in medschool. Already ill, but still studying 12 hours a day for my board exam while I was at my fiancée’s. It was the first NYE in years that I didn’t feel alone. I was with the woman I loved and her beautiful children and lovely family. It was the happiest winter I’ve had in a long, long time, despite all that was going on.

I wanted to be a doctor. A better one than those that had taken a year to diagnose what I already knew I had only to then tell me “there’s nothing more we can do for you.”

Now I stand before the debris of everything that I was. I barely recognise myself. I barely believe that I still exist.

A couple of years ago, I had started medschool, and I was doing well there, I was passionate and it was where I belonged. Spent days in the biochem lab or the dissecting hall and came home late to write my silly fanfiction. I’d even sometimes write them at medschool between lectures or on the train. I did my art, played instruments, sang, edited, filmed silly thirst traps and so on. Then I met my girlfriend and I was happy. It was the peak of my life, I’d thought.

And then, thanks to the negligence of my former doctor and genetics, the illnesses that I’d unknowingly had all my life, got so much worse and ultimately left me bedridden and with barely any quality of life. I had to quit medschool/request a break due to illness, which was approved.

I can’t stand for more than 5 minutes without threatening to pass out. Can’t sit for more than an hour and stay focused, lose my train of thought when I stand up. Need an hour in the morning before I can halfway safely get up, three before I can function. I need help washing my hair, doing chores and cooking and can’t really leave my house. My joints subluxate multiple times a day and I get awful nerve pain when in a flare. I can’t take a bath or shower without ending up on the floor as soon as I get out with a pulse of 150 bpm. It all makes me feel incredibly unattractive. I’m pale, my skin is dry and flaky, my eyes have dark circles, my lips are chapped, and I’m using a can.

I feel ugly.

My writing has slowed down dramatically but it’s the only thing I can still do somewhat decently and I’m being evaluated for disability. My brain, that has been the only thing I could rely on all my life, is forsaking me. It’s demanding to be fed like it used to when it was still a sponge, but when I feed it, it gets too much. And so I’m perpetually bored and overwhelmed at the same time.

I wanted to be a doctor and a writer.

And even though I’m still aiming to try publishing, I’m not sure I have enough energy to do it. I was supposed to get married in 2025. Now I have to attend my best friend’s wedding on my own. And I know it’s my fault, because I got bitter and most of all, because I lost hope. And at the same time, it’s not my fault.

The truth is, I don’t know how many more years I can live on 10% of what I used to be and I don’t want anyone to have to go through this with me. I’m not going to do anything stupid anytime soon. But I can’t do this forever if there is no treatment or hope for improvement on the horizon.

And as always when my life goes to shit, I got attached to another actress more than twice my age. And Patti is keeping me afloat right now. She’s so full of life that I can’t help but feel a little alive as well.

“But upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky” — LDR, Ride Monologue

Happy New Year.

[accio-victuuri]

January 2024 CPNs 🍭🍬🍪

starting off the year strong with some good old candies that puts a smile on our faces. i have to say that this month has some challenges because tho we have sweets, there were some outside voices that affected some of us in a negative way. being a bxg is a continuous learning process, and i hope all of us get stronger and learn that xz and wyb will always be the priority. we will respect them. we will be kind to them. and i guess that’s the good thing about monthly recaps like this, a reminder that bxgs live the good life! 🫶🏼

now let’s review this lovely month… ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• New year’s eve candy goodness

• Additional NYE clowning, one of the set props for WYB’s stage, is a clock. It’s not set as 10:05 in an obvious way, but if you turn it just right you will see the 10:05. Most likely a coincidence but who knows.

• ZZ & WYB featured in Elle Japan

• 1/2 yibo official weibo video post

• Probably a coincidence but in WYB’s interview he mentioned that one of his favorite Actors is Sean Penn. Understandable. However people are screaming cause “Sean” is also XZ’s first name. lol. Was this an additional point to like the actor? 😂

• 1/4: Yibo cat photo cpns

• XiaoWangZi = Little Prince

• 1/6/23, photos onset of ZZ’s new drama went on HS. to be expected, cause it’s in hengdian and anything related to ZZ’s project is bound to get some paparazzi interested. there was also some talk that the project might have shared it intentionally to stop the malicious rumors that the drama wasn’t actually filming. anyway, the CPN in all this is that a new CP was born 🥹🥹🥹🥹

baili is mostly paired with shiying — who is a favored person to be shipped with xieyun. so it seems like baili doesn’t have his one & only. so maybe zanghai can be that person. and both their stories include court politics so it’s perfect.

• The Boys & their late night city adventures

• ZZ & WYB + Mimi the Cat

• A new/old snippet from their thailand fanmeet rehearsal where they wanted to hear each other’s voice on their earphones

• WYB smiling cause he heard XZ’s sample/demo for the song tomorrow will be better during recording

• 1/11 zsww rumor : cutting their hair

• 1/12 same light and shadow in studio post caption & another wedding outfit

• THEM WITH A KID 🥹🥹🥹 it’s giving suo-er vibes!

• Weibo Night recap & candies

• yibo is seat #23 and then xzs posts their video at 00:23. what a coincidence 👀

• same brand heurueh bits

• In his SINA interview for Weibo night, he was asked who he prefers to go with during vacations and he answers friends. but before saying that he stuttered. you all know how we are with XZ and his stutter, meaning he is changing his answer or is a bit nervous cause the true answer is revealing. Tell us, who do you really wanna go on vacation with? 😏

• The boys being tourism ambassadors of their hometown which led to them being featured in a newspaper

• A fansite posted a series of photos showing how XZ signed the backdrop for Weibo Night. It clearly shows how he looks at WYB’s signature and the decides to sign right next to it. There are videos too that show this much better. I guess this one depends on people’s interpretation. I think those who are anti cpf will see this as a coincidence and say that XZ just signed randomly on the side cause the other spaces already look crowded. But then again, you can’t deny that he saw WYB’s signature. He knows what it looks like. They both spent so much time signing stuff together during CQL promotion so it’s safe to say that he recognized it. If they are sworn enemies like some people love to imply, why would he sign near WYB’s? This is pretty clear to me, it’s his way of being right next to WYB. 🫶🏼

Here is a closer one posted by someone who attended, you can see how close they are.

• an assistant in weibo night who took care of them both & who seems to be their friend

• matching lawsuits of anti fans

• both of them showing up at loreal annual meeting to give their messages

• our boys love to stay hydrated! 💦💦💦

• a video from SDC where the OP said WYB’s reaction was due to their wangxiao headbands. I know there are a lot of toxicity and fanwar that happened because of SDC fan support and there is some narrative from his so/os that WYB hates us. so/os are free to hate on us but i don’t think it’s ever right to project that onto WYB who is like the most accepting person. let the fan wars be between the fans, don’t bring WYB into it and claim stuff that will put him in a negative light.

• mystery tennis photo where people clown that he could be with xz. but i personally think he is just with some friends, but that doesn’t take away the possibility that he plays with xz 🎾

• GQ caption similarities and sexy backs - and i think the biggest takeaway from this whole GQ drama is that fans should remain rational and we should trust the boys and their decision. I have talked about it initially here, but that was more of calling out fan etiquette than the cpn implications. some bxgs really fell into the brainwashing package of solos and i wanna discuss that here cause this fandom is not only about candies but being firm in our belief. you had shrimps saying wyb is the enemy cause he is all cozied up with gq, and some bxgs bought that. they were “disappointed” with wyb and made up stuff about him doing things against his will. then the same people were slapped in the face when yibo continued to work with him for his album which is about as personal as it gets. only a few respected wyb’s decision and trusted in him & xz. motos are saying gq will never work with someone like xz cause he is the enemy, and that’s why wyb is comfortable with rocco and team. which is proven to be wrong now cause he is working with them. who knows, they may even do a full feature for LOCH. this is a lesson to bxgs, do not rely on solo sob stories to make sense of zz and wyb cause they only see one side of the story. they were always okay with GQ. Maybe GG was hurt at some point but he moved on and so should the fans. i just hate the feeling that ZZ & WYB were so happy with the collabs they did with GQ, in the meantime, BXGs who are supposed to understand them the most were nowhere to be found. we should do better next time.

there are serious efforts out there to make us turn against one of them, and use cpfs as anti minions, so we should be more careful.

• BJYX and Tennis 🎾🎾🎾

• Their Ordinary Life - a translation of a post made about their lives as normal people, and riddled with known CPNs.

• the connection between the tod’s strap included in xzs 2024 media gift box and wyb’s alleged gucci strap accessory in SDC 5

• early cpf story

• new clue from a drawing of a cake 🎂

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am i the asshole for not inviting a friend to my birthday event?

For context, my birthday is in the week between Christmas and NYE so as a kid, I always had to celebrate with my friends either before the holidays or after because everyone (including me) would be travelling to see family at Christmas.

Since my late teens, the only thing I've done for my birthday is have lunch with my family and then dinner with my best friend. (Not the friend this story is about.)

In the past year, I've made four new friends: A, B, C, and D. In 2023, they all invited me to their birthday events (all in August) and I went.

In September, I asked all four of them if they wanted to do an escape room. (Not for my birthday, but just for like something to do on a Saturday.) A and B declined because they didn't like the idea (fair enough) so I went with C and D.

All three of us had agreed to do it again and I'd mentioned it to another friend, who also wanted to go. So I thought we could go for my birthday.

I didn't invite A and B because they said they didn't want to go to an escape room in September and I couldn't imagine that their feelings had changed in three months. Plus, you can only have a max of four people for the room that I wanted to do.

Now, I did try to plan a meal with A, B, C, and D but when I asked in early December, none of them were really sure when they could make it because they didn't know when they were working that week or when they were seeing family and I asked for them to let me know.

However, but the time everyone could let me know when they were free, I had injured my my arm and was on a lot on painkillers. It was a pretty scary time but I didn't want to worry anyone going into Christmas, so I just said it was too complicated to arrange stuff that week and we could sort it in January.

After Christmas, A suggested a date for my birthday meet up in December. It was a date that B couldn't do anyway, so I told the group chat about the injury and that I wouldn't be up for meeting up until I was better.

I also messaged C, D, and my other friend to tell them that I would have to let them know on the day if I could make it because of my injury. Because the deposit for the escape room was non-refundable and I could manage to get about, I decided to go. Although, it would have been more fun if I hadn't been hurting.

Then, I stopped taking the stronger tablets because you're only allowed to take them for so long. And I spent the rest of the week and the first week of Jan in the house resting as much as possible. I even felt confident enough to make birthday plans for mid-January.

However, I never told A and B that I did go out for my birthday with C and D. I never actually told them that I had these plans because I didn't want them to think that we were making plans and not including them. (for context, I've definitely previously made non-birthday plans with both A and B without including the others.)

A was feeling bad for me about me not celebrating my birthday. (I didn’t tell her that I hadn't done anything but it's a reasonable assumption.) She didn't say this to me though. She said it to C, who reassured her that I'd enjoyed my birthday at the escape room.

Now, C did tell A that the reason I hadn't said anything about it is because I knew A and B didn't like escape rooms and C thinks that A understood.

But A isn't responding to my texts now and I'm guessing it's because they think I was excluding them from my birthday event for no reason, like I didn't want to have them at my birthday.

What are these acronyms?

[merrock]

MID-MONTH PRE-HOLIDAY MOD POST!

As we are officially at the halfway point (ish!) of December, I wanted to post about a few important things to keep in mind through the rest of the month. Please read this post thoroughly and (maybe even consider giving it a like, though it's not a requirement or being monitored), so we know that everyone is paying attention and on the same page! xx

First announcement, the group will be lowly moderated from December 22nd through December 27th. I will return to full mod status on December 28th. We will not be doing acceptances during this period, and although I will log in to handle things like starter notices, unfollows, answering asks, etc. you likely will not see a lot of promo posts or extra stuff -- it's okay, please don't panic!

The activity check schedule will remain as posted about. Unfollows for the current check will be posted on Monday at 11PM. Past that, the schedule is as follows:

December 20th -- any writer that has not had a presence on dash at all since December 13th will be placed on check and face removals on December 23rd if they do not contact main or post.

January 3rd -- any character that has not posted since December 20th (two weeks), will be placed on check and unfollowed on January 6th if they do not post or contact main.

January 10th -- again, a lenient one. we will simply ask that all characters post activity during the week; unfollows will be on January 13th for anyone who does not or hasn't contacted main.

After this, we expect to return to normal, business-as-usual activity by January 17th. I do not expect activity rules to change, but if anything does, you will be informed of that before the check, I promise. Basic rule of thumb: be able to handle two different threads (preferably with two different writers, to avoid bubbling) per week on each character you play, and you're golden.

Some more 'in character' things that need to be addressed or kept in mind moving through the holiday season:

MARKET -- the market is up and running and will be through the 21st. please use the OOC post to generate some fun threads and ideas! reach out to message others as you are commenting, post open starters, just have a good time.

GIFT EXCHANGE -- we will be taking gift submissions through the end of the day on the 18th! everyone is welcome to participate, if you have any questions, please let me know. due to time constraints, I will not accept late submissions.

SEASONAL FUN -- don't forget we have tons of fun seasonal ideas for you to enjoy on our seasonal master list! it's never too late to start things, and some of these ideas can continue into January and beyond, too. if there is interest, I am happy to adjust the post after the holidays, as well.

NYE PARTY & POLAR PLUNGE -- we're not there yet, but we do have New Year's Eve & New Year's Day events happening in town, don't forget! you're more than welcome to start generating ideas there, but please keep threads limited to the event duration.

CHRISTMAS IN GENERAL -- if you want to post gifts for the holiday, please feel free to do so! we just ask that it's done in a way that dash isn't completely spammed out (if you have 10 friends, 1 spouse and 1 sibling, do 1 post including all 10 friends, for example, save the individual posts for the special gifts). I also want to say: gifts are not required, please don't feel pressured, even if you receive some yourself! if you do want to do something, no one is going to be mad at you for posting a pretty photo of red velvet fudge and tagging your friends and saying you baked, either, trust me.

During the holiday season, I just want to remind everyone to be kind. To each other, to us as admins, in character (silly as that sounds), just spread love. Like people's tasks and socials, participate in their opens, reach out when someone asks for plots and threads, make it a warm, happy little community. Some people may only be able to log in once or twice a week right now, others might have extra time on their hands and be around a ton. As long as we are all doing our best to keep our dash a friendly, inclusive place where people want to spend their holidays, that is what matters most. xx

p.s. during this season (and always, really), if you need to talk to me or let me know something as an admin, please do so directly -- message me or send an ask, I cannot guarantee I will see OOC posts or talk tags, but if you talk to me, I will help you out! <3

[charlesandmartine]

Saturday 28th December 2024

Sydney

We have moved into a palace. I don't know how much we have paid for this place but we are going to enjoy it. A view across the harbour with our pool in the foreground would be the starting point. We are sitting in front of the biggest TV I think I have ever seen. The double doors from this 6 sofa sitting room to the bedroom suite, the other exit to a huge kitchen fitted with extremely complicated equipment. Bob looked at us and suggested we might not want to use the AEG coffee machine. Martine is currently trying to drive the vast TV. Apparently, we are blessed with Prime, and he has hidden the other clicker to make it easier for us.

We decided to nip into the City on the 173x which handily stops around the corner. We had a few things thar we wanted to do there. I believe we must have caught the driver on a bad day because he shouted at us as we got on, something about it being normal to flag him down if we wanted him to stop. Well, he stopped anyway, didn't he? Then as we crossed the Sydney Harbour Bridge, there was an extremely loud bang from the offside rear of the bus, which nobody wanted to tell him about. I mean loud! Anyway, we sneaked off when we pulled into Wynyard Station.

It was an afternoon of difficult people clearly because next stop was Sydney Opera House. We thought we'd collect our tickets for the gala Opera night on New Year's Eve. The very officious lady in the box office peered at us over her half moon reading glasses and enquired of our booking reference number. Now, I challenge anyone to be able to find this level of information from a distant email in the time frame her eminence dictated. She could see I was all fingers and thumbs so to make it easier for me, she suggested searching, bookings at Sydney Opera with a slight upward movement of the eyes, obviously thinking she'd got a joint in the oven, and was this going to take a bit of time. Desperately, I found her a code, which she clacked noisely into her keyboard. "That's Julia," she said. "That was in October, I think you've done that one." Anyway, she seemed to warm slightly at that point because we were then seen as theatre goers. The correct tickets duly printed she once again peered at us and in a voice worthy of a school ma'am or a librarian about to question the late return of a questionable library book, she enquired if we were aware of the arrangements? We shook our heads. "I need you to do this for me," she ordered. "Anything," we said. "I need you to be at the corner of Macquarie and Bridge by 5.30, and you will enter the cordoned off area for the nights special arrangements. Can you do that for me?" "Yes, miss." "Can you be there at 5.30?" "Yes, miss." "Because if you turn up at 6.30, you will end up running." "No miss, I mean yes, miss." "These are the instructions, I have written those times here, see?" "Yes, miss."

She then went on to explain in layman's terms what we must do to ensure we are able to watch the NYE fireworks on the Bridge. We then bowed and scraped and made our goodbyes in a highly grateful fashion. NEXT

We consumed a yellow label pie from Coles sitting outside Campbell's Wharf. Ovation of the Seas was in front of us, loading a new set of recruits for the 10 day cruise this afternoon to NZ. This was our ship last year, and it brought back many memories seeing her there. It was a good cruise, but Ovation is really too big a boat for us now, and we did not envy those embarking.

There are steps that lead up from Campbell's Wharf to the Rocks. The Saturday market was in full swing, selling lots of things far too big to fit into our burgeoning suitcases. We love the Rocks, and it's always a pleasure to return to see the old streets of the early settlers. We went into one shop, and we're amazed to see a lady there with a dress identical to the one Martine was wearing. I don't mean similar, I mean identical. So much so that we hadn't been in the shop for more than 30 seconds before a small child threw her arms around Martine and said, "Nannie." Almost immediately, the same small child became extremely distraught and disturbed about the apparent mistaken identity, but we all laughed about it and the family stood back comparing notes whilst the two clothes horses compared their respective purchases. What are the odds we all wondered. When we were out of the shop, I received the impossible question: Do you think it looked better on me?

A great afternoon. We feel like we managed to accomplish one or two things, including booking a visit to Susannah Place, which is a string of old cottages and work rooms in the Rocks. Somewhat similar, I'm many ways to the Back to Backs in Birmingham. And to finish a good day, we partook in a schooner of Coopers in a bar on George before catching the 173x back to Balgowlah, this time with a more amenable driver.

ps. LawConnect sailed into Hobart early this morning well ahead of the competition. Some are still sailing. Out of respect to those who died, no celebrations were forthcoming.

pps. We popped into Maccas for a 50c ice-cream!

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas NYE Edition: Variable Stars

Okay, since I got some very desperate DMs, you all win and we'll celebrate the end of 2023 with Variable Stars, and the beginning of 2024 with STL snippets.

This is a few pieces from Ch 7 of Variable Stars. It's close to done, and the bare bones of Ch 8 has been set up. I look forward to getting back into the swing of VS because friends to lovers is just so damn wholesome.

I hope you all have a brilliant NYE and I'll see you next year ;)

She’s not sure when everything changed. 

When it stopped being the Cullen home and it stopped being Jasper’s home and it started being hers too. When she started seeing her own face in the photographs on the walls, when the other family members called for her, she wasn’t just an extension of Jasper. 

She knows the house (which step is cracked because one of them stepped down too hard, but there’s been a lot of damage lately, so they’re all gingerly avoiding it in the hopes it can hold out a few weeks so that Esme doesn’t get too mad. Which bathroom never has hot water after midnight. That Carlisle moved all the travel books from the top-most shelves in the library down  to her eye-level so she could take them without lingering. That the spinning chair in the living room is shoved in the corner near the window because it’s her favourite but she won’t sit in it if her back is exposed.)

She knows that Esme is fiercely protective of her garden, that the stepping-stones are there for a reason. There’s a greenhouse that’s about to be built; and that Bella sulks if anyone is in the hammock when she wants to use it. (She also knows that Emmett and Rose are banned from the hammock because of what they did to the last one.)

And the forest. She knows it better than anything. That’s where they hunt, where her and Jasper go running. Where he found her that day, washing off the blood. Where they play-fight and she plays on the ice at the end of winter and it’s all broken up in pieces.

Then there is Jasper. There are a million different ways to explain Jasper and who he is to her, how he soothes all the raw spots and open wounds just by being there. Everything is easier with him, and there's never a day when she doesn't thank whatever higher power exists that they crossed paths.  

(Peace is a funny thing; it feels solid but she’s so intensely aware of how easily it could shatter. Eight vampires in one place is a recipe for disaster; she never forgets that. But for now, she just savours every single moment.)

It’s home. She’s finally home.

//

Some things are inevitable; Alice knows this well enough. Her death, for instance - setting foot in that hospital when she was a newborn, where the doctor knew who she was… that was a place people went to die, not to heal.

Realising that the only thing her gift would bestow upon her was death, destruction, and the legacy of a monster was another. 

Oh, and Jasper being someone important. There had always been something about him, even when he was a nomadic grump. 

But Alice has accepted that certain things are inevitable and avoiding them, or pretending they aren’t going to happen. The only thing she can really do is accept them, and face them head on, no matter how nervous or uncomfortable she might be. 

That is to say, she’s heard about Peter and Charlotte before; Jasper’s got lots of stories about them and it’s nice to hear to his stories - she’d like to set Maria ablaze for some of the things she did to him, and she’s more than a little bit sorry that she never made it for enough into Mexican to make the woman burn for her sins, but Jasper seems to be mostly at peace with everything that happened to him. 

(He worries more over her stories, which she finds funny. A couple of bites is nothing, and she makes it abundantly clear that she walked away the victor in those battles. When she says that, he always relaxes, like he’s worrying for her in that actual moment even when she’s sitting opposite him playing Go Fish in pom-pom socks.)

Sometimes she wonders what he would say if she told him the real story about how she woke up. About the one named James and the woman with him, about what she did to him, about finding the hospital and going inside and decimating it, killing every single person she found. If he’d be mad at her, or disgusted, or angry for her or what. 

It’s purely academic of course; she’s never, ever going to tell him all of that. As much as the past doesn’t bother him, she still remembers how he used to look, how he used to carry himself all those decades ago. She doesn’t want to add more violence, more rage to the burdens he carries. 

(She never wants to become one of his stories, like Maria.)

//

There’s more and more talk about their next move. That makes Alice nervous, he realizes. For a second, that’s confusing because there’s no way that moving will change anything - it’s still their family, just in a new place (there’s a vigorous debate between Montana, Minnesota, and Maine - he’s hoping for Minnesota because the home there is on a huge parcel of land where they can roam without being disturbed. Maine is the most claustrophobic option, a place where they will be under the most scrutiny, and Alice isn’t ready for that yet.)

But he takes a second and realises, for Alice, this is a huge change. The utter unknown - this house is the only home she’s ever known. She might have heard about high school and college, and posing as human, but she’s never had to play that part. 

(He’s already cornered Carlisle and told him that Alice isn’t going to school yet. Her reading and writing are good, but not enough to deal with a high school class. Not to mention that he got almost a decade before he was forced to play his part in their charade; Alice deserves the same.)

Esme is making adjustments to the house model in the family meeting, her stylus darting over the screen as everyone throws out requirements (or demands) about their new residence - Edward wants a music room, Rosalie wants space for at least twelve cars, Carlisle and Bella had grand plans for the scale and design of the library. 

His requests are the same as always - his study, and a bathroom he doesn’t have to share. Esme is doting and amused as she confirms his space, the exact requirements he gives for every single new house. 

“Alice, what do you need?” she asks, and Alice has been very quiet; Bella and Carlisle are still debating the two-story library of their dreams. 

She looks like a deer in the headlights as Esme looks at her expectantly, and looks at him for help. 

“Another bedroom and ensuite, maybe with an extra-giant closet for all your clothes,” he says teasingly, and Esme is already nodding, already sketching. 

“I don’t have that many.” She’s trying to sound flippant but she’s already looking relieved as Emmett begins negotiating a gaming room of his own. It’s true, she rarely asks Esme for anything more complicated than help navigating the washer and dryer. It’s him that she goes to for money, with questions, everything. And it’s Esme and Carlisle that come to him when they need her to know something, especially if it’s a delicate topic. 

And he likes it that way, likes that he can be useful, be important for a purpose.

//

The thing that they all like to ignore is that Bella’s change wasn’t without its difficulties. The Volturi had hovered in the peripheral right up until she had reawakened; it was that tangible risk that had allowed them to form a formal, ongoing alliance with the Pack, and allowed Bella to keep Charlie in her life. It was messy and uneasy but Edward was convinced that Aro held no malice for the entire debacle - Bella was changed, her shield gift only interested Aro in how it had manifested when Bella was human, and everyone had parted friends. 

(Well, Caius and Jane were still looking for reasons to destroy the lot of them, but the linchpin in the whole thing was Aro, and he was suitably amused and affectionate towards Carlisle that they were safe.)

Alice had been bewildered and scared when they’d told her the entire story, her unease syrupy as they spoke about Volterra and the agreements, Victoria and James, the Pack. She was slack-jawed when Carlisle explained that he had been close friends with the Volturi for decades before he had his family. 

He has his arm tight around her as the story is told, and quietly reassures her that they have no reason to ever see Aro, the Volturi, or even set foot in Italy. 

“They only punish those that break the laws,” he says and she nods, but the fear is still there. 

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 22 - Geralt

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 21 -- Part 23

Summary: The guys throw a New Years Eve party at 179th Crescent Street...

Warnings: Drugs (weed and alcohol), senslry issues.

Word count: 2.1k

A/N: Geralt is up! It's a shorter chapter than the other ones, because he didn't have a lot to say... I'm also happy to announce that all the NYE chapters are finished as of right this g'damn second! So: YAY ME! Enjoy!

Let me know what you think! 🥰

@deandoesthingstome @geralts-yenn @summersong69 @peaches1958 @fvckinghenrycavill @keanureevesisbae @livisss @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn @ylva-syverson @poledancingdinos

I’m barely aware of the things that are happening in the kitchen, going on auto-pilot, until Leon asks where Sherlock is. 

“In his room,” Mike replies, “he wouldn’t last five minutes tonight if he had to deal with all of this, too.” He’s not the only one. For starters, it’s not ideal for Mike, either. 

“We’ve got it from here,” I say. As far as I’m concerned, he’s done his part in setting up for tonight by getting the internet to work. My words come out harsher than intended. Fuck. I know he’s not mad - he’s Mike. It would take a lot more to upset him, and he knows as well as I do that I’ll be running on reserves, too, before the evening is over. 

Unlike Mike, I don’t envy Sherlock. Hiding from the fuss surrounding these preparations wouldn’t do me any good. I’d still hear everything, and I somehow find it easier to ignore a noise I can see the source of. My eyes involuntarily move to the little plastic bag on the table. At least I’ll be able to sleep. Sol follows my gaze, and her eyes go wide when she sees what I’m looking at. We’ve had a few long conversations - at above average volume - about the fact that I occasionally get stoned - or, as she’d rather call it; ‘my drug use’. The last of these arguments happened while she was holding a glass of wine. She didn’t appreciate my pointing out that alcohol is a hard drug. No one ever does. With time, she’s grown used to it, but she isn’t exactly comfortable with how open we are about it here. I still don’t understand the fuss. It’s not like we’re doing anything illegal. 

The hand on my back belongs to Sol. I don’t have to look to know that. I don’t even have to think about it. I just know. That knowledge doesn’t stop me from shaking it off nearly immediately. Usually, her touch calms me down, but not tonight - not right now, at least. It’s just another sensation to overwhelm me even further. There just isn’t anything she can do for me right now. When she looks at me, there’s a sliver of sadness in her eyes - a sadness I don’t immediately connect to my instinctive rejection of her touch, and with that, her intentions to comfort me. Until I do connect the dots, and end up feeling worse 

“It’s just a bit much,” I say, unsure of who I’m trying to convince I’m alright, her or myself. “I’ll be alright.” 

That last part isn’t a lie. No matter how exhausting this can be, it hasn’t killed me yet. At this point, after all this time, I think it’s safe to say that it won’t. 

When Sherlock steps into the kitchen with Elena, he looks just about as miserable as I probably do - and he hasn’t spent a second downstairs yet. Thanks to the noise downstairs, I couldn’t be completely sure about why they’re so late, but I can make an educated guess. Sol is still standing next to me. I know she feels bad because she can’t help me, which means it’s time for me to suck it up and at least try to have a good time here until she can help me. I take her hand and pull her along to where August and Sherlock are standing. At least I can reasonably count on them enjoying this nonsense as much - or as little - as I do. 

“Should I be glad Elena gets along with Anjelica so well?” Sherlock asks August while side-eyeing the girls and their animated conversation. The benefits of this party being so tremendously noisy is that everything turns to white noise nearly automatically. Normally, it would be a chore to tune out a conversation taking place so close to me, but right now, I don’t have to hear what the girls are talking about at all. Sol joins the conversation without too much effort, and I can see a faint smile on her lips when she sees me with the guys.

“Oh, we don’t get a say in these things.” I manage to very slightly startle August when I come up behind him. It’s never my goal, but always a nice bonus. He’s perceptive, tough to sneak up on, and his reflexes are insane. It’s what makes him a good boxer. A very good boxer. “I’m fairly sure we’re already doomed.”

Sherlock raises an eyebrow, clearly confused by my words. As much as I think we shouldn’t laugh or make fun of him because of it, his lack of experience can be quite endearing. “What do you mean?”

“I heard that they’re planning a girls night.” Gossiping isn’t something I enjoy doing, but I think the poor man deserves to know at least a little of what is about to hit him. August groans so softly I almost miss it. He’s damn right to, honestly. I like to think Sol isn’t the gossiping type, either, but I know better. When in Rome… 

I’ve accidentally overheard plenty of these conversations between women. They’re completely exhausting to listen to, and that’s only in part due to the fact that during a twenty-minute conversation, there’s maybe a total of three finished sentences. What continues to surprise me most, however, is the amount of detail these discussions contain. I know very few men who would be as specific. Sure, the jokes around the house can be… somewhat graphic, but they’re absolutely far less informative. Something I’ve always found striking about these conversations is that there doesn’t always seem to be a clear point to them besides purely the exchange of information - no problem to solve, no question to answer, nothing to gain from these talks other than curbing their annoyingly insatiable curiosity. Women. I’m sure I’ll never come to understand them. And I promise it’s not for lack of trying. 

“That usually means that all of them are going to be told every minute intimate detail of your relationship, so they can… I don’t know why they do it, just that they do.” August seems to be as lost on the reasons behind this interesting yet insufferable ritual. 

“How intimate?” Sherlock asks. As previously mentioned, I believe we shouldn’t make fun of his inexperience, which makes me hell-bent on controlling my face upon hearing the alarm and astonishment in Sherlock’s voice, and all the more glad that August does the smirking for me. 

“Yes, that intimate,” I answer, my voice significantly more strained than I had initially planned on, both from my efforts to keep my composure as well as my own mild terror at the thought of having my sex life painstakingly dissected by a group of girls. 

“We’re not looking forward to it, either,” August adds. 

“Not looking forward to what?” Elena asks as she wraps her arms around Sherlock. I can’t help but smile when I see it. They’re good together. 

“Nothing,” the three of us say at the same time. It’s suspicious to say the least, but I doubt we’ll hear much more of it. 

Something happens in the living room that we decide to ignore. Things settle down quickly, there’s no need for us to get involved in that. My head is pounding from the noise so badly that I barely notice Sherlock and Elena taking off. Good for them. Part of me wishes I could call it a day as well, but I can’t bear to spend time without Sol yet, and she’s still having a good time catching up with Anjelica. I know we won’t last much past midnight, so I just have to make it until then - a task that might just be made much easier by Ange’s discovery of what Mike has been up to in the living room. Solveig doesn’t even roll her eyes when she says it, either because it’s worse when I get high than when others do it, or because she realizes I could use a little peace and quiet. 

The cold and fresh air help tremendously, and although the windows are hardly enough of a barrier to completely block the sounds from inside the house, they drown out enough to make it more manageable. Sol stays close, which I appreciate now that I’m not ambushed by a hundred sensations per second. She’s not cold - she’s used to harsher winters than the ones we get here. It doesn’t stop her nose, hands or feet from freezing. It just doesn’t bother her. Bothers me, though. It’s like sharing a bed with an icicle. 

“Did you guys step outside when you saw me leave the living room?” Mike asks. August, Anjelica and I shrug - a clear admission of guilt. We know him a little. If one of us had so much as for a second suspected that our intended leeching would piss him off, we would have stayed inside. But it’s Mike. He grumbles something semi-annoyed while handing a joint to Dani and sits down to get to work on another one. 

“Thanks, Mikey.” It’s always Ange. Mikey and Anjelica have something in common I can’t put my finger on, exactly. A certain way of understanding each other that’s very difficult to explain. Something so innately platonic that even August isn’t threatened by it - which is quite rare. She sounds tired, I notice, and she does a very good job of not looking the part. Anjelica thrives around people. Pressure. Pain. Although I completely understand why Sy questions the nature of Ange and August’s relationship, I  never did. It makes perfect sense, it always has. In a way, they remind me of me and Solveig, though we have a more flexible dynamic. For a short moment, my thoughts jump to Sherlock. He had the same control issues we do. August and I. Part of me wonders if his preferences will turn out anything like ours, and I briefly wish I could be a fly on the wall during that girls night… I dismiss the thought instantly. Gossip. Despicable habit. 

Mike hands me a joint, which I take from him gratefully. If I can just get my thoughts to calm down, the noise may become manageable enough to sleep later. I’m only vaguely aware of the conversation about the unrest in the living room earlier. There seems to be quite a lot of guilt there that Mike can’t seem to shake. It’s understandable, but I feel it isn’t necessary. Danielle seems to understand what he’s like better than anyone I’ve ever met - including us, and we’ve been living with him for a year and a half at this point. I hope they make it. 

The six of us barely make it twenty minutes past midnight before we decide to call it quits. Mike makes a break for the stairs, leaving Dani with me and Sol. When we step into the hallway, Mike is already halfway up the stairs. 

“Where is he?” It’s tough to be sure from the side, but it looks like Peter, Marshall’s best friend. “Mike, I swear, get the fuck out of my way.”

I can’t say I appreciate the amount of drama I’m getting caught up in tonight. Charles - of all people, ironically - would likely suggest we leave these things to the girls, because they’re better at it than we are. After tonight, I am inclined to believe that both sexist and - as it turns out - a lie. Men are more than capable of causing a scene. Sol is standing next to me, Dani is right in front of me. I can see August, but not Anjelica. I’ll just have to trust that she’s okay. Knowing her, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I hear footsteps on the stairs that belong to Marshall - clearly the person Peter is looking for to begin with. Despite the alcohol and weed - maybe even due to them - I’m alert. Tense. This probably isn’t a fight I want to get caught up in. Marshall wouldn’t want any of us to, anyway. 

“Peter, leave him alone.” Mike tries to stop Marshall as he walks down the stairs, stubbornly staying exactly where he is. It’s clear he trusts Peter about as far as he can throw him right now. We’ve all met him multiple times, and he’s a good guy, but we’ve never seen him angry. And those hockey guys can fight… “Mike, it’s okay. He’s after me, not looking for trouble. It’s cool, back off.” 

[superpeanutgarden]

Night Blogging

okay, *technically* I'm not using the term right. It's an old phrase from before we called it Shitposting- we blamed all the weird stuff on sleep deprivation and Australians lmao

But it's night, and I'm blogging, so here we are.

so if you've read my other long posts, you'll know I'm in multiple open polyamorous relationships... and that I'm having what one might call "a hoe phase" and an accompanying crisis about if I still have worth if I'm a slut.

Well now im having a whole different (but still slut-adjacent) crisis. Do I even know what romance is????

This didnt come out of nowhere. My girlfriend mentioned that I was dating around as though I was single several months ago. And today she- wisely- brought up that i am at risk of girl bossing too close to the sun. and I had already been thinking about how my sibling had said that our parents didnt really model romance for us, and that we were told that romantic love is just kissing your best friend. And to be clear: I TOTALLY am. I'm not lonely or touch starved or sad or maidenless (or lad-less) in any sense of the imagination.

So... why am I still pursuing people??

The tree i can understand. He's a fun fuck, and he travels the renfaire circuit so I wont see him all the time. No chance of a solid relationship, just a fun easy breezy fling.

The lookout? Similar thing. Super fun to make out with and fine as HELL, but he lives like three hours away and doesnt seem interested in going steady. I can work with that

Max is PolySaturared and we just make out when I'm over for house parties, which isnt as often as I'd like but I'm desperately trying not to have too much of a crush on him (or his wife... or his girlfriend... or his other partner) so it's fine (jesus, maybe I'm not Ace, maybe I am just autistic)

Theres my good ex and my middle school bestie, but they're hella busy and our schedules havent really lined up. Disappointing, but acceptable.

The thing these people have in common is that they are almost entirely unavailable for me to date!! Until literally a month ago I was under the impression that I was just chasing the dopamine of New relationship Energy with ethically renewable sources and I could get my cozy domestic stability from my lovely girlfriends and partner...

And then trumpet guy and I made out at one of Max's house parties.... and Then I went on two dates with The Goblin King after making out with him and the Tree at the same time on NYE. And like??? It's so weird to say that I dont think either of them are stupid hot???? (But only one of the three people I'm dating is Stupid Hot, so there is precedent but?) It feels kinda weird and disingenuous to want to spend more time with these people who I'm not crushing on

And yet im Quickly falling head over clown shoes for trumpet guy. He's cute and fun and he asked me out on a date to dress way fancy and get sushi and go see a musical and???? I had just been telling a classmate that I didnt feel like I had been properly romanced since high school and?????? While I'm an impatient slut, it feels nice to be pursued.

The goblin king is really fucking sweet, and he's got really nice hair, but I'll wait to try talking myself out of liking him until after our next date... (too late, cant unthink that. I'll bring it up in person. He's really cool and I do want to still be his friend, but we both live with parents who would NOT get it so that kinda makes it hard to have solo couple time... or any couple time. It's not like I have to make a choice anytime soon but the dude deserves to know that I'm not sure if there's anything for us beyond friendship and the occasional kiss. Heck, we've only made out the one time and not even just us.)

Anyway, what's tumblr for other than an online diary??

[scarlettriot]

Here’s a short little fic just for Marqui @heroesfan101. Thank you for partaking in my Winter Writing Event! I really hope you love your NYE kisses ♡

I don’t think we need any warnings on this one. It just gets a little suggestive.

Word Count: 850ish

“I didn’t lie!” 

You were currently yanking off the hoodie you had on, walking down the hall to your room. “Really? I remember asking you yesterday, ‘Tet, baby, wanna do anything for new years,’ and you said, ‘nah, let’s just stay in,’ and now you’re telling me we're gonna be late! Late for what!”

The silver-haired man chuckled and quickly walked down the hall after you, wrapping his arms around your middle when he caught up. “I know what I said. Just wanted to surprise ya.” He spun you to face him before you got to the closet. Holding you close and giving you a smile that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. “Can’t I surprise my girl every now and then?” 

You rolled your eyes a bit but still rose up on tiptoes to kiss him. “‘Course you can. But, if I’m not allowed to know where we’re going, that means you need to help me figure out what to wear.” 

His eyes lit up, “I’m on it!” This had to be one of Tetsu’s most favorite things to do. He absolutely loved picking out clothes for you to wear and you swear he’s never picked out a bad outfit in the time you two have been together. You look on from the archway to the walk-in closet where he’s facing your side, finger tapping his chin, lost in thought. “Got it,” He mumbles to himself and spots the dress first. A black number that hit just above the knee with a sparkly white hem. He also grabs your black leather jacket, some leggings, and a pair of sleek black boots too, and then looks at you with a brow raised, looking for your approval. 

“Gonna help me put it on?” 

If his eyes lit up before, they were now a blaze, “I’ll never say no to that!” 

He knelt down first to help you step into the leggings, copping a feel once they slid over your ass. Then the dress, guiding one arm in and then the other, kissing your shoulders as he zipped the back. He sat on the edge of the bed and you propped a foot up on his knee, the boot already on, he only needed to zip it up as well. 

Once you were ready, he made quick work of getting changed too. A well-tailored pair of dark slacks, and a navy button down, but of course, he took the time to roll the sleeves up past his elbows, claiming it’s uncomfortable if they’re down. 

With jackets on, the two of you headed out for the evening. 

“So, do I get to know where we’re going now?” 

He hummed dramatically, like he still really had to think about it. But, you’re gonna figure it out soon enough. From inside his jacket pocket he pulled out an envelope and handed it over to you. Inside were two tickets, VIP, front row, center seats, to see your favorite band. “Tetsu… are you serious!? How!? They’ve been sold out for weeks!” 

“Called in a favor.” He smirked, obviously proud. But, actually, it was more like a dozen favors but, damn, was it all worth it just to see the sparkle in your pretty brown eyes. 

You were pulling up to the venue twenty minutes later, settling for valet parking, not wanting to miss a second of the show. There was a separate entrance for VIP and you were given wristbands and led right to your seats and before you knew it, the band was taking the stage. 

From the moment music started to play, nobody remained in their seats. You were standing, swaying, and singing right along with your favorite songs and Tetsu was right there with you, albeit, a bit offkey, but his heart was definitely in it. He stood behind you at times, holding you close and singing words softly right into your ear, stealing a kiss every once in a while too. 

Song after song played and your heart has never been quite so full. But, when there was just a minute remaining in the year, a countdown began, the whole venue joining in. The seconds ticked by and soon enough, cheers of HAPPY NEW YEAR, rang out. You would’ve joined them, but Tetsu’s lips were already slotted against yours. Way too happy to be entering into another year with you. 

His fingers were caught up in your long, dark hair, teeth grazing your lower lip even as another song began, he just couldn’t help himself. 

“Happy New Year, Marqui.” He murmured in your ear when you finally broke apart. 

“Happy New Year to you too.” You tugged on his collar and brought his lips right back to yours, a bit more desperate than before. You felt his fingers flex impatiently on your hips and knew him well enough to know his hands were gonna be on your ass in a matter of minutes if you didn’t do something about it. “Wanna get outta here?” 

He would’ve stayed until the very last song if that was what you were wanting, but, if you were offering… “Absolutely.” He grinned and took your hand, following you out, and right into the brand new year. 

[effiestuart]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i think with a slovenian cousin for the stuarts for a hot minute two years ago and then came back and stuck around for two years. it looked pretty and political plots. the only main one i remember, which was not when i joined first but after a bit was an earthquake and someone was making movie poster edits with the royals.

which characters have you written over the years ?

i don't remember the first one's name, but he had a sebastian stan fc for two seconds, but there was a wendy, effie, francisco, yasmin, matilde and sasha

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

all of them? though the one that wasn't planned with matilde pushing arnauld into the pool on nye will forever be a fan favourite

what about other people's plotlines ?

it's just the one thread that lives rent free in my mind, i don't even know what the plot was but it mad a big impact, clearly.

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

matilde, she just walked the fine line between rules and consequences and she had m.i.b. and by default a.s.s.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

maybe any new year's eve events, those were always fun, which isn't a plotline but still, within them there were plotlines and it was fun to see what outfits people were posting or sending outfit ideas to each other for the ' matching aesthetics ' .

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

nope!

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

sasha and his climb or fumble to grand duchy title in hungary and getting side eyed from the croys from there on out and sasha getting to talk to meixu before february 2030.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

we'll come back to that, i can't think of anything specific atm maybe when serre told on me for not doing this task so that's why it's being done so very late.

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll peep in the discord server

what else would you like to say ?

thank you evy, e and j for keeping such a wonderful group going for so long so thoses of us who joined later could experience it, and all the amazing people in hshq, even if i didn't get to write or talk with everyone, it has been a memorable time and a bubble away from everything going on. and now forever will be associating specific fcs with characters and having way too many haute couture photos saved that i do not know what to do with now.

also, evy edited the manip below but i was too lazy to finish the edit for matilde so, i'll put it all here.

so, farewell hshq!

[purplesurveys]

1789

Do you ever get groceries delivered to your house? No, we do the groceries ourselves. Grocery deliveries were much more commonplace when the pandemic used to be a bigger concern, but I hardly hear of anyone availing that kind of service anymore.

What was the last job interview you went to where you didn't get the job? Do you think the interview went well or not? For a multinational e-commerce brand. I think I handled it well, but I was also admittedly a little wet behind the ears for the role I was applying for so I don't really resent them for not taking me. At the time I was also extremely burned out and just wanted a way out of my workplace, so the decision to apply was honestly mostly an impulsive move.

Are you the kind of person who can wake up with one alarm or do you need several? Depends on what time I'm waking up and/or what time I slept the night before. The earlier the alarm, the more alarms I set.

What's your favourite pasta shape? Fettuccine.

What position is your body in right now? Sitting, laying, standing? I'm sitting cross-legged.

Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? Saturday I'm planning to take my dad with me when we go shopping for steaks for NYE the next day. Sunday I have a bit of field work to do in the afternoon but I'm getting the fuckkkkk out of there as soon as the event is over so I can avoid traffic and be home in time for the countdown.

What's one of the saddest movies you've ever seen? Revolutionary Road.

Has a movie ever made you cry? Yes. I burst into tears every time I watch Liway, which is why I always have to watch it alone.

If you have a pet, where are they right now? Both are asleep downstairs.

What's the last dessert you ate? A brownie.

Do you experience deja vu often? I want to say once every few months? It's not often.

Are there any rooms in your house that you don't go into every day? My brother's.

Did you own many videos or DVDs when you were a kid? Yeah, pirated ones. Tons of them. Original DVDs were always too expensive and they were only saved for movies that we really really really really really REALLY wanted to have/see.

What was the last physical pain you experienced? Strained knees after siting in a certain position on the floor for too long.

Have you ever fed an animal at the zoo? Which ones? I don't think I have.

Do you use Fahrenheit or Celsius? Do you know both or just one? Celsius, and that's also the only one I'm familiar with.

Can you do a handstand? When was the last time you tried? Nopes.

Do people misunderstand you? Sure, for some situations.

What year will you/did you turn 30? 2028.

Have you ever worked or lived in a high rise building? I've interned in one, if that counts.

Who are some of your favourite actors? Kate Winslet, Kristen Stewart, Marion Cotillard, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn.

Do you hate it when musical artists make music for way too long and kinda ruin the legacy they'd originally built for themselves? Well, no. What they do is really none of my business lol, but also everyone will also get past their prime at some point so considering music is these artists' main source of income, it's understandable that they'll sometimes make meh outputs.

Is there anything that's been bothering you emotionally lately? Well my dad is leaving again in a couple of weeks and I never really got used to that.

What was the last store you shopped at? A pet supplies store so I can buy gifts for the dogs.

What time did you wake up today? Was that earlier or later than usual? 7:45 AM, then I slept again and woke up for real by 9:30 AM. Definitely later than usual; I typically wake up at around 6:15.

Have you ever been to a parade? What for? It didn't have a specific theme; it was really just this huge parade at BGC that celebrated a little bit of everything.

When you exercise, do you do anything to entertain yourself like listen to music or watch TV? I don't exercise.

Do you ever read other people's survey answers? Sure, but mostly when I take surveys that already have someone else's answers.

What app on your phone do you use the most? Reddit and YouTube.

Does your current city differ from your hometown in terms of weather? No. Unless you're in Baguio or Sagada, Philippine weather remains roughly the same regardless of where you are.

Have you ever been engaged? Nopes.

What can you hear right now? Apart from my typing, the fan right in front of me.

Do you know anyone who is terminally ill? Not that I'm aware of. I hope there is actually none.

What was your first best friend's name and where did you meet them? Are you still in touch with them? Kaye, in kindergarten, and nope.

What's your favourite fruit? Avocado, if anything.

Do you have nice views from your house? If you're at the rooftop, yeah.

What was the last album you listened to? This Is Why by Paramore.

How often do you get paid? Every two weeks.

Do you own any cool or interesting mugs? I have a personalized mug that has my name styled in the Friends logo. Angela gave it to me a couple of Christmases back.

If you had to start a university course next week, what do you think you'd like to study? Philippine social history. I actually took that as an elective in college, but a semester is too short a time for a topic so interesting to me that I wouldn't mind retaking it with new lessons haha.

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

2024 NYE Q and A: Dream Guides - Riku

I don't know where to begin as 2023 has been a strange year. I remember looking so forward to it at the start, and it's just spiralled into something unbelievable. Like there have been no shortage of good moments and growth opportunities, but has been overshadowed by chaos, tiring and exhausting days, and the world constantly throwing hands at each other with a continuing amount of immaturity and animosity towards our brothers and sisters.

I have marked the end of each year as a time to reflect and let my honesty be shared regardless of what anyone else thinks, so that for the following year, my bucket is emptied and I can start again. Please excuse me as I write from a very emotionally exhausted state. Each of the boys will be sharing some thoughts on the year 2023, and on this page, it's Riku's turn.

Please give each boy a chance as each of them provide a different flavour and may have some discrete messages for those who are still on the path of unity and love, and the hopeful outlook for a better and brighter world. Including some personal stories from the boys if they have anything major to share.

------------------------------------

QUESTIONS:

How do you feel 2023 has been overall

What positive experiences have you had in 2023?

What challenges have you faced in 2023?

What challenges do you believe your dreamer has faced in 2023?

What is one memory that stands out to you in your dream guide duties?

Is there another person you’d like to recognise for their contribution to 2023?

Do you have any final thoughts in the lead up to 2024?

------------------------------------

ANSWERS:

(1) Riku: "Hoooo boy, it’s been one hell of a year… Sorry I don’t usually swear, but the amount we’ve all been stretched to the limit like toffee. All the times I’ve had to keep the ship sailing in Karla’s life, both with her waking life surroundings and also with Jak, Terra and myself. And don’t get me started on the amount of absurdity I’ve seen with different people all over the place on the internet. Sorry, I’m sure you can tell how exhausted I am, being a Keyblade Master and also the dream guide leader; I’ve cleaned up more messes this year than you can possibly imagine".

---

(2) Riku: "Well from the few positive experiences I can dig out, Karla and her mom had a week long getaway at the start of the year, and I was privy to enjoying that. And then also in September, when Terra went away with Karla’s parents, I stayed home with her and decided to let my hair down a bit at this real estate water-park. You could say that I’ve been the driving force and sort of the balancing act of this dream guide group, which I’m actually proud of”.

---

(3) Riku: "Now the challenges of 2023 are endless that I’ve got to be careful in not maximising their impact too much. I guess when it comes to just myself, there was this episode during the year where Karla was trying to retrieve Sora from Quadratum in, I guess, an early fashion. Just a little sneak peek that she believes Kingdom Hearts 4 won’t give Sora the opportunity to be saved [ie the game released] until after the timeline shift, and obviously by then, it’d be too late for Sora to come with us. So she’s been carrying out what she calls this operation, and I was just extremely anxious as she tried to scare Sora to his senses and I guess hoist him home.

In terms of myself though? I actually haven’t had too many personal challenges, or I guess negative experiences. It’s been more trying to keep everyone else together, and as I said, sometimes being Karla’s saving grace when everyone else [Terra, Jak, etc.] has been wiped out due to these constant energy attacks. Oh, there is one before I forget. Don’t get me started about Karla’s father, that guy’s a doozy. I was assigned to him and he wanted nothing to do to me, so I’ve just had to laugh off a love-hate relationship when it comes to him”.

---

(4) Riku: “Now in terms of the challenges that Karla has faced, I’m actually surprised she’s still here. It’s pretty straightforward when you've got all these friends to talk to, who are on the same wavelength as you, and understand what you’re about. But with Karla, that’s not the case. If it weren’t for her family and us, she’d have no one. Like any person who reads this can maybe think they’d understand her if she just let them in on all her thoughts and feelings, but she’s actually an entirely different kettle of fish. Some wouldn’t get her because she’s too deep, and others would be offended because she’s honest when she needs to be. I’m looking at you, March men and women; you started the trend for this year, and something we’ve mastered this year is that shifty guys work behind closed doors. I guess back in 2021 and 2022, she took a lot of abuse online, even if it wasn’t directly aimed at her… Like, you know, how people work behind a screen, or sneakily around the bend. So 2023 was all about protecting herself and not getting herself into situations where she was second-best or less. But that had consequences in itself because she had to make a lot of sacrifices. Believe it or not, people still mistreated her in 2023, only she never showed herself as a direct target. In-fact it was my job to block their energies and send it back to some of them, which is part of the reason I’m so worn out right now. The other half of the equation is how some of her days would feel so twisted due to these constant etheric attacks that would hit her, be it in the form of tiredness, headaches or even bad dreams or compulsive lack of sleep even when asleep… Iiiiif you get my drift.

She has this special book where she issues these sort of fines for every inconvenience her mind causes her, and this year, she’s collected over five hundred thousand alone. 2021 and 2022’s amounts were nothing compared to that”.

---

(5) Riku: "In-terms of a specific memory, I don’t really have one at the moment. I feel I’ve been more active in Karla’s waking life, and like I said, being the glue for that. I bet Terra or Jak might have one though, because they’ve been the ones switching in and out with her sleep. Now that I’m writing this on a different day, I sort of wish I spent more time with her in the dream world. It’s fun where in the past, we hung out on the Destiny Islands or in Twilight Town. But yeah, due to those etheric attacks I spoke about which also interrupt deep sleeps, we didn’t get up to much this year”.

---

(6) Riku: "I’ve got to give this one to Jak. This year put him in a very rough place, more-so than Terra and myself. Like there were times where Jak wouldn’t even show up, and if he did come back, he’d get very angry and dismissive. But with where he’s at now and what we’ve found out, he’s actually been undergoing a huge amount of personal battles. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the etheric attacks were affecting Terra, Jak and myself as well. Because sometimes, Karla would be undergoing a certain energy theme, and we’d also seem to be in a situation of that sort as well.

But back to Jak. He’s another case of ‘it’s a miracle that he’s still here’. The fact that he’s had to deal with the expectations placed on him from his life in Haven City, and finding out he’s the descendant of an ancient king. Like with everyone who wants to move on, he’s had to come to terms with his past and I guess really be put through the wringer in whether he should ultimately stay with that crowd or come with us. I’ll let Jak share the details, but he made a major decision late last month, and as his friends, Terra and I wanted to make him feel seen and supported”.

---

(7) Riku: "Look this time of the year, and even the whole year has been a bit of a strange one. I’ve noticed that I’ve been touching on a lot of darker themes than light. But that isn’t to say that Karla has good moments. I just think they occurred with her immediate surroundings rather than any sort of friend network. I should mention that she has one good friend that has stuck with her in waking life, and I forgot to say in Question 2 that Karla has been asked to be a bridesmaid for the wedding. Only it’s bittersweet because that friend is also very unhealthy and has ended up in hospital on almost a fortnightly basis sometimes. So… Yeah. In summary, 2023 has been a mix of ducking and dodging bullets from nasty people and energies on the internet; praying for a number of sick people in her friend and family-friend circles; battling to keep Terra, Jak and myself in one piece; but also discovering a new passion of sewing up garments, which is what the bridesmaid friend has also been joining in on. Basically, this year has really been about finding out who and what is most important to Karla’s life. The people who will be there for a whole season rather just when things suit.

I’m not really too sure what to expect in 2024, but let’s just say that in 2023, she’s been let down a lot just in general… So I honestly don’t have any exciting spiel for 2024. I think one thing that Terra, Jak and I can all agree on is that we hope it doesn’t get any worse than this year. She needs to have space to grow and be a happy person without the hydraulic press being in effect, which means also not being hit by constant energy attacks and tiredness that really put a stop to the massive amount of creative pursuits that she undertook in 2022. She was designed for art, music, craft, and anything else that helps her express her true and creative nature. So my hope is that 2024 will be a lot kinder in that sense and allow her to proceed in such a manner”.

------------------------------------

SUMMARY:

The internet and it’s networks may be a dead avenue, and the exhaustion of rising global tension has hit hard. But Karla’s immediate life has seen generous health, love and abundance. Any achievements of Karla’s have been acknowledged in private, because in the greater scheme of things, they have been only very small in the year of 2023.