#now it’s nabil’s turn (sorry)

[kevinsdsy]

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the trojans social media au (pt. 10): one of the reasons i made this au was to push my nabil mahmoud lore to the world AND TODAY IS THE DAY ‼️ i’ve forced dealing with your sexuality + religion lore onto nabil and since nora didt specifically confirm laila NOT being muslim i have her be his support system through shared experiences :))) including nabil living w them for a month (which is why jean actually likes him in this au) and jean being a support system through making food because i feel like cat would have told jean about how food & cooking can be such a support system for others

[mais-nerdy-corner]

❝𝕬 𝕮𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖂𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖀𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖊𝖉❞ | 𝕮𝖞𝖓𝖔 𝖝 𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

Synopsis: Cyno is known to have sharp senses due to his duties as Matra. But somehow, the case of his missing significant other went unnoticed.

Pairing: Cyno x Reader

Genre: Angst to fluff

💮 — Author Answered: Oh dear, I may need to revise my rules if it causes confusion... Still, thank you for the request Anon!

Note: Cyno might be a bit OOC at the end of this, not sure how he would "canonically" react... (But bruh, it literally appeared in my dream like whaaatt...??)

Ah, you. Yes, you. Just a regular old Amurta scholar from the Akademiya that somehow managed to capture the General Mahamatra's heart. Sometimes you wonder, what really attracted him to you? Is it your intelligence? Is it your appearance? You think you're just an ordinary person. Well apparently not to him.

You see, Cyno actually has a little story about how he came to like you. One time when you were a student, Cyno was walking around the halls of the Akademiya. Not exactly on patrol, but he was keeping an eye out for "suspicious activities". It was night time and usually people were already asleep, but not for students at the Akademiya as they were still awake studying or finishing their assignments.

Out of the blue, Cyno caught a glimpse of a student rushing out of the Akademiya through one of the side doors. It looked real suspicious so he followed them to the upper level of Razan Garden. What he thought he would catch a student doing something against the Akademiya's rules, became the moment that might have made him fall in love at first sight.

"Oh wow, look at that! It really bloomed at night!"

The student Cyno was after was named Y/n. And it turns out that they were examining the City of Contracts' signature local flower, a Glaze Lily. They held the Glaze Lily above their head, exposing it to the moon's light.

Okay, so what? Cyno just coincidentally fell in love with a student who loves flowers. What's so special about it? Here's the thing.

Cyno is so used to treating people who break the rules harshly, he was amazed by the way you treat plants gently and lovingly. Something he had never felt and experienced before. Cyno never admits it but he has stalked you several times, watching you tend to the plants. One time, he even went to visit you.

You were preparing some things for a upcoming presentation. You were nervous. And the arrival of the General Mahamatra didn't help either.

"G-General Mahamatra...! What brings you here...?"

"Relax, I just came here to ask a few questions."

"Uhh... sure! Ask away!"

"How many lips does a flower have?"

Huh? What...? How many lips does a flower have? What kind of trick question is this? Did you really miss something that your teacher explained before? Oh boy...

"W-well... technically, according to what I know and if I didn't miss anything from my teacher, flowers don't have l--"

"Two-lips."

There was an awkward silence at first that made Cyno think he had ruined his chances. Until something clicked in your head, causing you to burst out laughing.

He was stunned, yet again. He never had anyone to genuinely laugh at his jokes. Most of the time, he has to explain them which defeats the purpose of telling the joke.

"Oh, I get it now! Sorry, it took a while. That was a good one. Can you tell me another plant related one?"

"...Sure."

Since that day, you two often meet and hang out together. Other students would normally be wary of him and avoid him, but not you. Till the day of your graduation, Cyno would visit you and tell one of his awful jokes.

"Cyno!"

He was already waiting for you at Razan Garden and you went to meet him, still wearing your graduation gown.

"Did you come to my graduation ceremony?"

"I saw it, briefly. You graduated at the top of your class," he said crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I did. And it's all thanks to you and your silly jokes. Thank you, Cyno."

Cyno was about to deny that he did nothing to help you with your studies when all of a sudden, you planted a kiss on his cheek and ran away.

Nabil, a Matra who was looking for Cyno saw him still standing in the same spot as when he was talking to you.

"Cyno! There you are. I even went around the Akademiya looking for you, I was hoping you could-- Cyno? Hello? Teyvat to the General Mahamatra!"

Cyno didn't respond to any of Nabil's calls, his brain was still processing the kiss you gave earlier. He was also trying hard to hide his blushing face and keep his cool as Cyno covered his face with his hand.

"Just pretend you saw nothing, Nabil."

"W-what...? I didn't see anything. Really, what happened? Your face is red, are you sick?"

"Ugh... I'm fine!"

(time skip brought to you by le author :P)

"Tighnari, have you seen Y/n? Did they come to Gandharva Ville recently?"

The General Mahamatra's sudden visit to Gandharva Ville surprised the Forest Watcher and even the Trainee Forest Ranger, who was hiding somewhere. He looks so disheveled, stressed out and exhausted, unlike his usual appearance.

"Y/n? No, I haven't actually. If they were here, I would hear them coming from miles away. First of all, take a good look at yourself. What happened to you? What did I say about taking care of yourself?" Tighnari said, scolding Cyno at the end.

"I just talked to them a few days ago. Where have they gone... to..."

Cyno's words trailed off as he slowly falls forward. Tighnari who quickly knew what's going on, caught Cyno who had fainted.

"H-hey...! Cyno, stay with me now. Oh, crud. Collei!"

The aforementioned Trainee Forest Ranger came out from her hiding place and came over to her mentor.

"Yes, Master Tighnari? *gasp* The General Mahamatra?! What happened?" Collei asked.

" *sigh* He has overworked himself, and it seems that this isn't the first time he's been in this situation. Why do you have to worry me like this...? Ahem, sorry for rambling to myself... Help me out here."

The sound of the General Mahamatra stirring in bed caught Tighnari and Collei's attention. He finally came to his senses after passing out earlier.

"I see that you're finally awake. How are you feeling?" Tighnari asked.

"Feeling like shit actually..."

Tighnari quickly swatted Cyno's arm that was covering his face and went to grab a glass of water.

"Please don't use that kind of language, especially around Collei. Luckily she didn't hear you. Here, drink some water."

Tighnari helped Cyno get up to drink some water. He then continued his lecturing session, "This is what you get for overworking yourself. I've reminded you many times, on multiple occasions, to take care of yourself. Could you please stop making other people worry about you?"

Cyno was silently contemplating his actions. Tighnari is right, he has troubled a lot of people. Does that mean, he has troubled you too? Cyno then confessed something he had never told Tighnari before.

"Tighnari, Y/n once told me that they were often ridiculed of by other scholars for dating me. Some said that their graduation was made easy because they are the General Mahamatra's significant other, others say their works are not purely their own but are accepted because of that too. They must have felt the pressure of dating someone with a high title like me. Have—have I troubled them too? Have they withdrew from this relationship because of me?"

"Cyno, I don't believe Y/n is that kind of person. They are devoted to you and appreciates who you are. Think about it. You can't be giving up hope, Cyno. This isn't like you!" Tighnari tried to reason with him.

"If that's their decision, then I have no other choice but to respect it. I don't blame them for breaking up with me either."

Tighnari was silent hearing Cyno's words, he sympathized with him. He didn't know what else to say to cheer him up. So, Tighnari committed himself to find out about your whereabouts.

"I'm heading out, but I won't be back for a few days. Collei, I trust you to take care of Cyno. If he moves an inch off the bed, guess I'll have to tie him to it."

"It's not like I'm planning on moving anyways..."

Tighnari sighed before leaving his hut. Collei, who had been silent all this time, was confused about what to do after her Master left her. Until Cyno opened the conversation.

"You've been quiet all this time. Does my presence even my name alone remind you of the sealing process too much?"

"Ah! Uhh... I... Yeah, it does..." Collei answered nervously.

" *sigh* Forgive me, but there was no other way to seal away the god's remains in your body. It must have been an unthinkably painful process."

"No no, you don't need to apologize. Matter of fact, I'm the one who's supposed to apologize... and thanking you. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you... and, thank you for bringing me back from Mondstadt to Sumeru and finding me a safe place to stay."

For once in his life, Cyno's usual stern face softened (which was really out of character for the serious General Mahamatra). He even asked Collei to come closer to him.

Cyno reached out his hand and started stroking Collei's head, giving her a pat once in a while.

"It was very admirable of you."

Tighnari had arrived at Sumeru City, and just as he remembered it was very loud and crowded.

"Ugh... it's so loud! I want to go home so bad... But not now Tighnari, you're already committed to finding Y/n. Maybe I can use this crowd to my advantage..." he mumbled to himself.

So Tighnari began to deliberately "search" for conversations about you, the amount of times he had apologized silently for eavesdropping on conversations he shouldn't have heard was countless. But then, he overheard a conversation about you coming from the direction of Puspa Café.

"What's the matter, my lady? You seem restless lately..."

"Oh, Dehya... It's just that, Y/n hasn't been visiting lately and I'm worried something might have happened to them."

Ah, bingo. That's the conversation he wanted to hear. Assured he had found the right person, Tighnari came up to them.

"Excuse me."

Tighnari's greeting made them both turn their heads.

"I apologize for eavesdropping on your conversation earlier. But, are you two familiar with a scholar named Y/n?"

(Another time skip brought to you by le author :P)

"I see. So you too have Eleazar, Miss Dunyarzad. May I ask, how did you get to know Y/n in the first place?" Tighnari then asked.

"Well, we first met at Lambad's Tavern. At that time, I was eating alone, secretly hoping Dehya would join me."

"Wait, you were hoping... I would join you...? My lady..." Dehya murmured but was still heard by Tighnari, causing him to smile a little. Dunyarzad smiled too.

"And at that moment, Y/n entered the tavern. They ordered their food and looked for a place to sit. They might have noticed the sad expression on my face so they went to sit next to me."

(A flashback that's written from Dunyarzad's POV)

"Excuse me. I'm sorry but I can't help but notice the sad look on your face. Mind if I sit here to accompany you?"

"Oh, um... No, not at all. Please, have a seat."

Actually, I just remembered, Y/n was sitting across from me. Not beside me. They then put an unfamiliar plant on the table. Coincidentally, the food that Y/n ordered was served at the same time.

"Here you go, Y/n. An order of my famous Lambad Fish Roll. I see you got a new plant again, what is it this time?" Lambad, the tavern owner asked.

"It's a Small Lamp Grass, I'm sure you've seen it during your travels in Mondstadt. I'm just wondering if this plant will glow in a dark room or does it only glow at night. Also, I found out that it can be used as a cooking ingredient to enhance other flavors."

"Hahaha, of course! I've seen them before, it's been a while though. Say, do you have any more of these Small Lamp Grass? I want to experiment with them for my cooking," Lambad said.

"I have some still growing back at my residence. Maybe I can give you some and you give me something in return?"

"Aha! You've got a deal there, kid. Enjoy your fish roll!"

I've only been paying attention to Y/n's conversation with Lambad, and I realized how close they are. I also want to have a friend like them.

"You grow plants at your residence?" I asked.

"Yup, I am an Amurta graduate from the Akademiya. And now, I'm researching plants from all over Teyvat. I have a lot of plants at home, would you like to see them?"

(Flashback and Dunyarzad's POV ends)

"Since that day, Y/n has given me many plants and flower over the course of their visit. I'm worried for them and their plants back home, no one has been taking care of the plants if they're missing."

"Hmm..."

Tighnari thought long and hard as to what he was going to do. Until he came up with a plan that might help.

"Alright, I might have a plan. So we will..."

The General Mahamatra has returned to Sumeru City after a few days' stay in Gandharva Ville. Collei has made sure that he was in good condition and allowed him to leave. It's strange that Tighnari hasn't come back yet. Hmm...

He decided to take a walk in the Grand Bazaar. At first he went there to take his mind off things. But then, he saw something he thought he wouldn't ever see again.

"Y/n...?"

Cyno couldn't believe his eyes. He saw your figure walking with someone in the Grand Bazaar. His instinct immediately told him to run to you.

"Are you sure you don't need anything else?"

"No, I'm fine Dehya..."

"Are you really sure? You know my lady wouldn't be happy if anything else happened to you."

"I'm 100% sure, Dehya. I'm fi--"

"Y/n?"

Suddenly you heard a call of your name and felt a strong grip on your arm. You turn to look at the person and it's Cyno, the General Mahamatra who is also your boyfriend.

"Cyno..."

"Hah, there you are. You can thank me later for saving them. And also a friend of yours by the name of Tighnari, you can thank him too. I'll see you around, and make sure you keep an eye on your significant other," Dehya said before leaving.

Cyno and you stayed in place for a while. You're happy to see him again, while he has mixed feelings.

"Y/n, I need to talk to you. Let's go somewhere quieter."

"O-oh, okay. Lead the way."

Cyno took your hand in his and took you to a place with far less people.

"So what do you want to talk about... Cyno?"

He froze on the spot for a while before suddenly hugging you tightly, bringing you down to the floor with him.

"Cyno... Aww, it's okay... Shhh, I'm here now. No one will hurt me again."

It took a while for you to completely calm him down. You admit it's the first time you've seen him so vulnerable. The normally serious, curt and stoic Cyno, striking fear into the hearts of researchers of the Akademiya is now so fragile in your arms.

"Where have you gone? What happened? Tell me everything," he asked.

"I... don't know, I can't seem to remember much. But from what Tighnari and Dehya said, they said I was kidnapped."

"Who kidnapped you? Tell me who they are so I can hunt them down."

"I don't know either. Dehya said they were just a few Eremites, but they didn't know why they were targeting me. Maybe they thought that kidnapping the General Mahamatra's significant other can make them easy money, or it could be something else."

Cyno sighed, "It's fine, what matters is that you are here now. I swear if I ever run into them, I'll beat them up mercilessly."

His threat somehow made you laugh as Cyno kissed your forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[Author's Note]: I'm sorry this took so long, we ran into some technical difficulties a few days ago :v

Publication date: October 21st 2022

[thechroniclesofhadi]

Series CMoF

King of Rain

When Yulia mistakenly gets engaged to a child king, Hadi plans to appeal to the king's conscience by saying that her mother wishes to say goodbye. Jinda turns Giola into a taller and bustier version of her human form, and Giola comes bustling in with a ridiculous British accent and fake crying about missing "my only daughter".

What really makes the king well up is Jinda turning herself into Yulia's "pet koala Steve".

A Fishy Tale

A merchant tries to sell Julinah a fish... whom she apparently knew.

Julinah: HANK? I warned you about those hooks, ya dunce.

Keya: (leaning into frame) Well, now that he’s dead...

Nabil: (from offscreen) You’re not eating the corpse in public, Keya!

Keya: (defeated) Okay.

“Oh... This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it?”

Keya and Nabil (a shark and pilot fish in human form, respectively), are always good for a laugh.

Keya remarks on Azem’s way of speech.

Azem: Azem like gold!

Keya: “Azem like gold". Azem has really gotta work on his vocabulary. Use actual pronouns!

The interactions between Giola and Keya are comedy gold, both before and after the former learns the latter’s true nature.

"Oh, the hu-manatee!"

Cure for the Uncommon Cold

Antania (a girl disguised in a bug costume) is a Deadpan Snarker of the highest order. During Antania’s trial, a gigantic board game similar to Grape Escape, a panicky Giola delivers a classic question:

Giola: COULDN'T WE JUST PLAY A NORMAL BOARD GAME?!

Antania: ...Nope.

After she’s saved from a volcano at the last minute, Giola has this to say.

Giola: Death, my canny foe, I’VE CHEATED YOU AGAIN!

Team Hadi wins the game, and they are in absolute shock. In their eyes, they should not have won.

Palace of the Sun

“Okay, now you have my attention!”

The whole "horse elevator" scene. Jinda turns into an elevator operator and uses Horse as one to slowly get everyone up to a certain height above the rainforest. All just sit there looking bored as elevator music plays, and Jinda awkwardly tries to make small talk.

Giola getting the slaves to go on strike.

Quetzalcoatl descending to the surface. Giola is terrified at his sudden appearance.

Giola: AH! NOT YET, I’M TOO YOUNG!

Chill as Ice

This exchange after Hadi offers Xuě to come back to Bajida with them.

Giola: I don’t think this is a good idea, Hadi. I mean, the girl's got the reasoning faculties of a boiled cauliflower!

Hadi: Don't worry about it! I got us through her ice palace, and I can handle it!

(Giola gives a perfectly timed Facepalm)

The Secret City

Giola's crowning moment of snark: After the gang is trapped in a mine, Jinda questions whether going deeper in would be a good idea, stating that it might be a trap. Giola, in her own inimitable style, flicks Jinda a coin and says, "Here's a dinar. INVEST IN A CLUE!!! WE ARE TRAPPED!!! THEREFORE, THIS IS A TRAP!!!"

As the gang try to hide from the wyrm inside a dark chamber:

Jinda: Sure is dark in here.

Giola: Yeah, and there's a funny smell here, too. It kinda smells like... (Jinda lights a fire with her finger and the room lights up revealing barrels around the gang) ...lamp oil.

All: LAMP OIL?!

Hadi: (shoves Jinda's lit finger into the pink gal's mouth) One spark, and this place will blow like-

Giola: Like it's full of barrels of LAMP OIL!

Jinda: Sorry.

"Seriously, what's going on? Everybody calm down! I'VE GOT A SWORD!"

Princess Parrot

“Oh, no... I really bit the BIG ONE AGAIN!”

One of the palace maids pulls out an old outfit for Human!Giola to wear. As she despairs at having to let Giola of all people wear it while straightening out her hair, she notes it was specially prepared... for Yulia's twelfth birthday.

Giola: TWELFTH?! (Stands up promptly, taking a moment to inspect herself) Well, it's a good thing it fits perfectly or we would've really had a problem!

"Did I say that I felt bad? Let me rephrase that: I feel bad for me."

The Familiar Stranger (parts 1 & 2)

When Bahshir arrives at the palace with “Raniya”:

Giola: (watching Bahshir limp into the throne room) Y'know, I'd make a comment here, but I'm genuinely worried that he might actually be physically disabled — and then who looks like a guy I wouldn’t trust with my life, I mean, this guy, still a little bit, because he looks shifty, but mostly me! Mostly Giola!

“If the walls could talk, they'd say really bad things about that guy.”

During the fight with Fake!Raniya, Jinda literally falls apart into jigsaw pieces. Mamun and Giola scramble to piece her together quickly.

Giola: Come on, come on! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!

Parrot for a Day

“Hahahahabirdsarebetterandhavenoflaws!”

Yulia puts some new curtains in the hovel, saying they have no holes. Proceed for Parrot!Mamun to come darting through them, ripping a huge hole in them.

The way Giola calls on Jinda. You'd expect there to be some kind of convoluted way to do it. But then, instead, you get:

Giola: Jinda! OW-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!

(Jinda just pops in out of thin air.)

Dead Man Tells Some Tales

A robed skeletal figure who calls himself a herald comes out of the sea and offers a conch to an absent Hadi. Mamun pretends to be Hadi and the skeleton (who Giola names "Harold") takes it in stride.

Because Hadi has sworn off helping her on any treasure hunts, Giola makes a costume from the bones and robes of the skeleton, making it seem to be a sailor whose body was never found asking for help from Hadi. “Harold” ends up losing the skeleton’s arm to Hadi, still clinging to the gift. Giola awkwardly says "Errr, keep it..." before walking off. What makes the scene even funnier is that she doesn’t even bother mimicking the Herald’s actual voice, opting instead to use a hammier male voice.

When the skeletal sailor awakens, the first thing he does is introduce himself... except that he realizes that he has Identity Amnesia mid-sentence. He does remember important things though, like he has to find somebody and that he left his fez on his ship.

When they catch the dead guy in the bazaar and start to make a scene, Giola tries to play it off as All Part of the Show. And pulls it off like a champ, judging by how much money she got when she passed the hat around.

In the end, the sailor, Baki, reunites with his wife's spirit. They have a touching conversation, before they fade away. The onlookers are all wowed by the sight, and then:

Giola: (cough) Never in my life have I said 'Dang it, I think I inhaled some skeleton dust!’ and meant it!

Blast to the Future

"Man, future times are weird."

"Man, future times are scary!"

Jinda pretty much guilts the rest of the gang into joining her on her trip to modern-day. After they agree?

Jinda: Thanks, guys! (dressed as an airline pilot) I've made every effort to make your guilt trip a pleasant one.

The group’s reactions to modern clothing.

Giola: (wearing a dress) THIS WAS A MISTAAAAAKE!!!

The bit when they first enter the electronics store will make anybody who's ever been to one of those places fall off their seat laughing.

Giola pulls at a push door as they try to enter, claiming she could not read the "Push" sign (which is in English). Mamun responds with a sigh and "I know."

Queen of the Ghouls

The ghouls welcoming Not!Raniya into their fold: “WELCOME TO OUR PLAGUE PIT, BUTT-MUNCHER.”

"Hey you ghouls! The gang is here!"

It's Jinda's bizarre accent that really sells it.

Giola’s reaction to Not!Raniya’s return:

Giola: Y’know what, I’m hardened at this point. I'm ready for anything.

Yulia: (referring to Not!Raniya) It’s that thing!

Giola: WAIT, I LIED! I was NOT- I was NOT ready for anything!

The Mother Lovers

The group’s reactions at Mother Sweet’s “children”, a group of preteens acting like pampered little kids, is bound to at least get a chuckle.

Just the names she gives them and how they’re dressed: “Tator-tot” is dressed like Little Lord Fauntleroy, “Blossom” looks like a little girl's doll, “Starshine” has an oversized sweater, “Bunbun” wears a pink fluffy bunny pajama costume and “Smoochie-Poo” is dressed in a child’s yellow rain poncho with oversized boots!

Giola’s response upon being called “Gigi” by someone other than Keya.

Giola: Look, there’s only one person out there who’s allowed to call me that, and it ain’t even my boyfriend.

The interactions between the gang and Mother Sweet’s “children” in general (prior to the latter being released from their brainwashing).

“Smoochie-Poo” getting a bib reading "BIG BOY!" and gabbling happily at it. This is then followed by "Blossom” getting her face scrubbed clean of cake by Mother Sweet until the girl’s face is literally sparkling because of how clean it is. All the while, "Blossom” giggles and hearts float up from her head. The eavesdropping Giola is understandably Squicked.

Giola then tries and fails to get the “children” to drop the Kiddie Kid act by tempting them with “grown-up things”:

Coffee Dealer!Giola: Come on kids, don'tcha wanna bite of one of these babies? (shows off wings covered in coffee beans)

And when she’s about to eat one, Mamun has this to say:

Mamun: Y’know, I wouldn’t eat that [coffee bean] if I were a bird again. I remember the last time you had coffee, you had another near-death experience.

This causes Giola to hurl the coffee bean as hard as she can, which hits a nearby vendor on the head, briefly stunning him.

When Jinda sees and recognizes Mother Sweet and tries to warn the group:

Jinda: (slightly panicked) Oh no, not here. Anywhere but Bajida! This has gotta stop! Guys, can I have a word with all of you in private?! (pulls them all aside with a Vaudeville Hook)

Hadi: Jinda, what's the big idea?

Jinda: Now, there comes a time where a genie has to stand up and say what’s right. With that in mind, I’m sure you'll understand when I say (grabs Hadi by the shoulders and gets right in his face) ARE YOU ALL NUTS?!

The "children” being given a "5:00 beddy bye", and Mother Sweet tucking them in. During this, she pinches and pulls on “Blossom’s” cheek, causing her to giggle.

“GIGI’S GETTIN UPSET!”

"You're gonna get in trouble! You're gonna get in trouble!"

Especially the parts when “Tater-tot” says "You broke Mother's cookies" and “Blossom” and “Smoochie-Poo” go "Ohhhhh...!", as well as the part where they continue the chant while doing the Ring Around the Rosie.

And then Giola ends up snapping them out of their trance by bashing their heads in with a medieval rolling pin.

Giola: Huh. Didn’t expect that to actually work.

After the "children” are brought back to their senses, their true personalities are revealed.

“Tater-tot”: What’d you do that—? (notices their surroundings) Um…where even am I? Who are you?

"Bunbun”: Why am I in a bunny suit?

“Blossom”: Why am I in a dress?!

Playing With Fire

This line from Giola:

Giola: The fire turned into people. I’m sure it did. Well, wake me up if anything unusual happens.

When the flame creatures grab the Sultana and Jinda uses not the best choice in words.

Jinda: Alright, buddy, drop the Sultana! (The fire monster drops the Sultana, and she falls, but Horse manages to catch her) I didn’t mean that literally, and you know it!

Then as Yulia checks on her dazed mother.

Yulia: Mom, are you okay?

Sultana: Uh... fine, fine... r-remind me to... paint my teeth tonight. (faints)

Yulia beating the living crap out of Mohmar when she finds out he sicced Firaas and Touca on the gang.

Yulia: You sons of a DOG! (lunges and tackles Mohmar)

Mohmar: GET OFF ME, PRINCESS! GET HER OFF! GET HER OFF ME! GET HER OFF! OH DEAR ALLAH, GET HER OFF!!!

Hadi: Yulia, stop! Somebody stop Yulia before she strangles Mohmar!

After the climatic battle, the ceiling starts to fall on them. Mohmar is hugging his loot while everything is collapsing around him.

Mohmar: NO! I won’t abandon my loot!

Nazim: Then enjoy it... in the underworld. (sprints off)

Mohmar: WAIT FOR ME! (sprints after Nazim)

Giola in Genieland

An enchanted anklet from Kofir’s old lair latches onto Giola and sends her into the Djinn Realm. As she’s hurtling through the vortex leading there, she’s panicking all the while, shouting at the anklet to send her back home.

Giola: (upset) Bring me home! Br-Bring me home! Take me home, please! LEMME GO HOME! I WANNA GO HOME!!! NOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

The overly shocked face Giola makes upon getting a good look at the Djinn Realm. She knows she’s in for some craziness.

One of the djinn Giola encounters in the Djinn Realm is the camel-like jann Anim, who likes to spit on people. Another is Heqin, who looks like a Jedi.

At the movie theater, we learn the djinn's vision of Giola is a cartoonish goofball. On top of that, there's a Funny Background Event where Giola decries the cartoon and declares that it doesn't look anything like her only for her film counterpart to mimic her gestures at the exact same time.

Giola: Excuse me? (stammers) W-what?! Th- o- come on. That... that looks nothing like me, and you know it!

Operation: Initiation 

Hippolyta towards the other Amazons for trying to slink away "while I'm thinking!"

This exchange, after Hippolyta discovers Bajida:

Hippolyta: Phyda?

Phyda: Your Highness?

Hippolyta: Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we planned our next recruitment in this room, you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, BLOCKING THAT UNCHECKED AREA FROM MY VIEW?

Phyda: This is my comfy place. So what?

Giola's reaction to being tossed into a bag and kidnapped with Yulia.

Giola: The least you could do is wrap me as a gift!

Serenara asks Giola if she’s a South American bird.

Giola: No, I'm Indonesian. YEAH, OF COURSE I'M SOUTH AMERICAN! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

Where Lost Kids Go

Jinda turning Giola into a toddler is both this and Heartwarming.

“RUN! RUN, FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH! RUN!"

Princess Sea, Urchin Do

Giola getting turned into a giant squid. There are no words.

Giola: I could've said "If you're a street urchin, then I'm the world's richest parrot!" But what do I say?! "I'm a giant squid!"

And then when she tries to shift into her human form, she gets a form that resembles Squid Girl. Her response?

Giola: (nods) I can make this work.

A lot of the humor in this episode comes from taking a character who isn't usually the butt of jokes when they're human and putting them through the wringer once they're not any more. Between Yulia and Giola's misfortunes, plus what it does to Prince Akeem, it's one of the slapstick-iest episodes in the series.

“Just when I think there are no new kinds of pain...I find one.”

Yulia being put through a Baleful Polymorph run as Jinda tries to revert her back to normal. 

As well as Jinda somehow recognizing her and having to be told that she's been turned into a sea urchin.

Giola's comments about her transformations.

Giola the giant squid: DON’T TALK TO ME WHEN I GOT NO BONES!

Giola with feather fins: I LOOK LIKE A STINKIN’ CAT OVER HERE!

A Calamitous Counterstrike

The reveal of the Big Bad of the episode is pretty funny, with him hamming it up big time, appearing as a large green flame, only for it to fizzle out when Hadi refers to him by name almost immediately.

Hadi: Hey, Bahshir.

Bahshir: (parting the flame with his bare hands to reveal himself) How the bleedin’ heck did you know?!

Survival of the Feathery

Just the premise of Giola and Keya stranded on an island together with a previously marooned girl named Besma.

"Yoink!"

The eel in human form Abdullah is a Troll of the highest order. Special mention is made near the end, when he reveals to the girls that he could’ve just easily told Julinah where they were, but chose not to. They don’t take it lightly.

Giola: Oh, yeah! It's real funny, ain't it?! HAHAHA! We could’ve died here, ya turd! Keya: You’re lucky I don't like the taste of eels who eat schadenfreude for breakfast.

Love Showdown

Shumaila tries to get Hadi's attention but fails as he was walking with Jinda explaining how women work.

Jinda: (as a Frenchwoman) Oui, us women, we appreciate ze little things, n’est ce pas? Like when you notice our hair or our clothing. (They walk past Shumaila, who is holding her hair up and has moved her shirt down off of one shoulder. They don’t see her.) We appreciate your willingness to lend a hand. (They pass Shumaila carrying a heavy chest, but ignore her.) And, what is most of all, we appreciate le compassion and le understanding. (They pass Shumaila, who is crying, but she can’t catch their attention.)

Yulia gets angry at Shumaila for trying to claim Hadi for herself.

Yulia: You were stealing my fiancé!

Shumaila: And your point is?

Giola and Shumaila criticize Yulia's lock-picking skill.

Yulia: (looking through Mamun's lockpick set) How do I know which one to use?

Mamun: Try the 16B double forwards Barkat pick.

Yulia: (points at one) This one?

Shumaila: That's the Hossam-head! Don't they teach you anything at the palace!?

Yulia: Not thievery!

Giola: Ah, deplorable how they ignore the basics...

Key to the Past (parts 1 & 2)

After Giola tries to leave the palace to find her prized key necklace (which later turns out to have been given to her by her first master, Halima), Jinda forbids her to take another step down the stairs. Giola agrees, then jumps out the window and flies away.

Jinda: I FORBID YOU TO TAKE ANOTHER STEP DOWN THESE STAIRS.

Giola: ...Okay. (dives out the window)

Jinda: D’oh, she’s good.

Tomb of the Dragon Queen

Giola's immediate first action when the Dragon Queen awakens is to attempt to run away from the situation.

"I AIN'T GONNA BE THE FIRST TO DIE, I'LL TELL YOU THAT MUCH RIGHT NOW!!"

“I SAID... WE! CAN'T! TOUCH! ANYTHING! EEEEEEEEEEEEELSE! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!”

Family Feud

Giola noting the al-Amber Family’s… strange taste in decoration:

Giola: (sarcastic) Ah yes, there's nothing like a bleached human skull to really bring a home together! (serious) No wonder people don't come over anymore.

Followed by Saami’s response:

Saami: (indicating the skull) That was the last one. He's dead now.

Giola goes Blue with Shock at that.

The Parrot Motive

Giola trying to see if there's a "secret cry for help" in Jamal’s book of Revised Rules of Business... culminating in her gnawing on the cover.

She also assumes the first word of every chapter might be a code and gets the Non Sequitur "If never hold profit, a generous smile honesty."

The revised Rules of Business themselves and Giola’s reaction to them.

Giola concludes that the revised Rules of Business must be part of some plot concocted by Jamal. Later...

Jamal: What say we buy everyone a drink? Put it on my tab.

Giola: (Head in hands on table) WHY?! WHY?!

Jamal: Why, what makes others happy will make me happy!

Mamun: Some plot.

Giola's face when it’s revealed that “Jamal” is an impostor.

[gisellelx]

Hey!! How is writing One Day going? Any specific scenes you're looking forward to? Any specific scenes you're struggling with? Or just anything you're willing to share really 😇 #FFWF

I said I might write a novel and I did, and then I navigated away from the page and lost it all and got super sad and so I just went “fuck it, I have work to do.” So I did my work. Go me! I’m teaching entirely asynchronously this term, and so it’s on me to just make sure I work from 9-6 every day and I’ve actually done rather well at that so far and I am kind of proud of myself. Now the work day is done and I went out with my friends, and so...let’s revisit.  Whoo. One Day. Oh man. First, I am so thrilled that people still care. I love this premise, and I love this story, but I see other authors who can churn out a 200,000 word fic in like, 10 months and it makes me want to cry. I’m sorry! I’m not that person! So it just makes me so damn excited that other people are excited to see where this is going because it’s going such interesting places. 

I just wrote the first half of chapter 15, out of 23, ostensibly, although it might get brought down to 21 or 22. This section was really stalled for a long time, because I imagined the scene incorrectly. At the midpoint, you’re trying to set up an equilibrium, where everything seems like “okay, if it stayed this way, it would be okay” and so I was trying to do that with the most recent scene. It was supposed to be a kind of “Oh everything is happy, everything will balance and work out for all these characters” kind of scene. But it just felt like I was fighting so hard for that. I finally realized that it was because this was the scene where stuff needed to start going south. So a character picked a fight, and now we’re off to the races of the last part of the story.

This is also difficult writing for me because I am not a romance person. I don’t write it and I don’t read it. Not because I don’t appreciate it! I actually find writing it very challenging, so hats off to people who are good at romance. That is not me; I write and read literary/contemporary fiction and basically always have (a friend strong-armed me into reading Twilight and she just laughs at what happened after). But Bella in the middle of this story is exploring what it means to be a regular, 24-year-old woman exploring a relationship with a regular boy her age. The story hinges on this working out reasonably believably and that’s hard for me as the writer. That being said, Nabil is a very fun character to write, and I get to draw on some of my own personal experience in writing his family and his character, which is very fun. And then there’s the wonderful conflict that Bella is also trying to really find a way in with Carlisle, and Carlisle and Nabil do not like each other very much.  

I’ve now moved through the midpoint and the end of the scene I’m writing introduces the first vampires other than Carlisle into the story. Bella’s gone six years and now 70,000 words without other vampires in her life, and stuff is about to start blowing up, along with her sense of having any security about what happened after Edward died. I am so looking forward to the next several chapters, some portion of which is already written, and some of which was written years ago, in which Bella really has to confront the facts of exactly how Carlisle dealt with the agony of losing Edward, and how that led to the situation she finds him in at the beginning of the story. 

Scenes I’m looking forward to writing (without too many spoilers)? There is a great secondary character, Father Ian, who I am looking forward to including in the run up to the climax of the story. He’s Carlisle’s pastor and is very, very loosely based on a real person: my first creative writing professor, who quit being a professor and became an Episcopalian priest. We’re facebook friends and he knows I’ve fictionalized him and is quite pleased to get to play the role of helping a 380-year-old vampire get his faith back. Father Ian the character is kind of one part busybody, one part Carlisle’s rock, and I’m looking forward to writing him a bit more in the final part of the story. AND it turns out, timeline wise, the epilogue I had always planned, based on the timeline, takes place in summer 2020. That 2020 was what it was has turned out to make a lot of sense for this story, to say nothing of the fact that it’s much easier for Bella to hide Carlisle’s identity from her parents when he’s wearing a mask, and so maybe it was just pre-ordained that it would take me this long to get it done.

I said I might write a novel. There it is. <3 I am so super flattered. Thank you for the ask! 

[seriefic]

3000 Dreams (Chapter 4)

Sumary: Is the return of the past good or bad?

Warnings: Angst, Death, Blood, Mentions of religion.

A/N: English isn´t my first language. This story are scenes that have been appearing in my mind, chapters are going to be LONG. There are mentions of Islam since the main character is going to be a muslim (i´m muslim myself, not really practicing but everything is written with respect) and the story does not follow the timeline of the series. I hope you like it.

Tags: @supernaturalvikingwhore​  @lol-haha-joke​  @naaladareia​

Chapter 1    Chapter 2  Chapter 3

Ivar laughed, he laughed as if seeing his brothers with shattered faces was fun, the funniest thing he had witnessed in years and laughed because he had shown everybody that he was right, he had reaffirmed his power, so in front of the whole world he humiliated his brothers, to show that they should follow him if they wanted to emerge victorious from that situation.

-Now are you going to learn to listen to me?

-Ivar, I continue ..- Ubbe was going to answer him, you knew that with an answer that would not please the younger so you stepped on him to make him shut up and he did so, Hvisterk remained silent, with his head bowed and fists clenched in rage.

When the self-proclaimed king of York decided that the humiliation was enough, you all left the room, you entered the room following Ubbe and the first thing he did was throw one of the jugs with water against the wall, you sat on the bed watching as he moved from side to side and threw some things around the room

-You should take a bath -You said calmly approaching him and untying one of the knots that tightened his gray shirt

-Why are you so calm? what Ivar is doing will lead us to disaster.

- I am not calm, I am enduring the desire to shout at you for having returned with a shattered face after I told you not to do it, so now pay attention to me, stop breaking things and take a bath- Your hands on his cheeks, making sure he looked directly at you and listened to your words well.

-Well-he threw aside his clothes and went to where you had already prepared a bathtub with hot water for when he arrived. You knew that his return from the failed negotiation attempt would mark a before and after in the dynamics of power between the brothers, but you decided not to comment anything, you didn´t want to add more problems and stress to his head, you really wished that his greatest concern was if the land was fertile or not and you could live together and calmly. 

You hadn´t said anything to him but you really wanted that adventure to end and to be able to live peacefully in a cabin or wherever the Vikings lived when they were engaged in agriculture.

-Are you going to tell me what you want to tell me? -Asked the man tilting his head backwards, at the edge of the bathtub to look at you, you took advantage of his posture to kiss him on the forehead and slipped your hands towards his chest, introducing them into the water, hugging him.

-I just want you to be safe and if that means that at the moment you obey Ivar with your eyes closed, do it.

You watched the battle from one of the towers, Ivar was next to you, observing everything satisfied by how well the plan worked.

- Are you going down? - You asked to seeing he was going to the stairs of the tower leaning on his crutches.

-I want to fight too.

-Okay, be careful

-I don't need to be careful- Before you would have enjoyed Ivar's company, you liked how he talked and how direct he was, but now you could only describe the interactions between you as uncomfortable and cold, even when you made an effort to be kind and try to empathize with his ideas, everything It felt strange.

You looked back at the small window from which you watched the battle, you tried to be calm but the reality was quite the opposite, your heart was almost out of control and you needed to control your breathing to keep calm, you could only hear the noises, see some banners and see some groups that moved together, but you didn't really see anything, you weren't able to distinguish those who were fighting at the time, the darkness and the rain made the vision and battle much more violent and impossible and you just expected it to end quickly.

After a few hours the sounds of the battle perished and from your position you could see some vikings walking calmly, dragging some bodies, you assumed that it was over but when you were going away to leave you saw something that caught your attention and froze the blood of your veins.

Running down the stairs to the street and through the mud that mixed with the blood you ran to where you thought it was what had caught your attention.

- (YN)? What are you doing out here? -Hvisterk grabbed your arm to stop you, making you stumble and almost lose your balance

-I .......- You were going to answer but one of the bodies that were lying face down moved and grabbed the prince's leg, receiving a kick from him, the dying body of the man was sideways and immediately you recognized the clothes he was wearing.

-No-you yelled at Hvisterk when he was going to nail his sword to finish killing him but he was faster than your voice.

-What? -He looked at you as if he had not just killed a man and you crouched down next to the body, trying to analyze if what you saw was true.

-What are you doing? -Said Ubbe approaching you, with his ax still in his hands

-Ask her-

-Were there more people dressed like that?"-You asked and Ubbe nodded, you got up suddenly, 

-Are there still some alive?

-Yes, we have captured some, they are in the square, why?

-They are part of the emirate´s army, they are the African troops, my father's troops.

-Oh shit, do you think your father is here? -You went away, trying to contain the desire to throw up that had suddenly invaded you and Ubbe guided you to the square, you prayed mentally for your father to be among the survivors, you saw many men but none known, all were sitting in a row and tied to each other and the last in line tied to a pole.

You watched all the men, one by one and your father was not among them, but you stopped at one who kept his eyes lost on the ground, his head in another world and his face covered in mud and dried blood, but still with All the dirt, you recognized it.

-Nabil-you whispered and that whisper seemed to bring him back to reality, to York, to be chained with the soldiers who had survived in front of the watchful eyes of the Vikings.

- (YN) -your name came out of his mouth almost inaudible, he looked at you as if he couldn't believe his eyes

-Ivar -You called the man who watched everything from the height- Can you free him? -You asked pointing to Nabil

-Whyi would do that?

-Please, just him.

Ivar looked at you and leaning on his crutches, even with his face bathed in blood he approached you and Nabil and then his brother who looked behind you watching the scene, with his jaw clenched and his fists clenched around his ax.

-Okay, you can keep it, RELEASE HIM- He shouted and two men approached to fulfill his orders, when he was released he fell forward and you quickly ducked into the mud to hold him.

-Help me to lift him - you asked Ubbe, who stood still a few seconds before approaching you resigned and helping you lift the man.

You cleaned his face carefully, with the help of Helga you had taken care of his wounds and Nabil already looked like a completely new man, your whole body was shaking, you didn’t know what to do or say in front of him..

-Aren’t you going to get in trouble for helping me?- He asked sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

-No, don’t worry- your words came out shy, as if you didn´r really wanto to talk about it and that was the truth, how would you explain to him your actual situation?-Why are our troops here?-you asked changing the subject.

-The Emir made a deal with the Vatican, they would calm the Christian revolts in our territories if our army helped England and France to protect themselves from Viking invasions.

-Why isn´t my father with you?

- (YN) -Nabil took your hand and looked at you in silence for a few seconds -Your father died a few months after you were kidnapped, his heart couldn´t stand it.

-No-you said in complete state of disbelief with a lump in your throat and tears starting to fall down your cheeks- no

-I’m sorry -he said hugging you to try to comfort you, but it was impossible to find comfort at that moment, your heart had just broken, you heard how the door opened and you didn’t need to turn to know what Ubbe was, you separated from Nabil and dried your tears.

-I’ll be right back- you said and walked to Nabil who was leaning by the door watching you, you left the room and Ubbe followed you out.

-How is he going?

-He´s okay, they weren’t major injuries.

-Why are they here? Fighting with the Christians?-”He asked without looking at you, looking at the door behind which your friend was.

-The emir made a deal with the Vatican, they are here in exchange for the Vatican calming the revolts of Christians in the emirate.

-I will inform Ivar.

-Ubbe, can I ask you a favor?

The Viking pursed his lips and took a deep breath before nodding because he knew what you were going to ask him - Can we let him go?

-That’s not my decision (YN). Do you know that the only reason Ivar lets you take care of him is because he wants you to get information right?

-Please try it.

-Do you still love him?

-Ubbe …- his name came out as a complaint-I love him as a friend and a brother, he has been by my side for most of my life, so if I can free him, I will.

-We named her after you and she´s an exact copy of Hurrem, it seems that she is her father and mother -he said explaining how his daughter was.

- she has red hair too?

-Of course and the green eyes and her bad character- You laughed at the mention of your friend’s bad character but he started coughing and quickly got up and went to one of the water jugs in the room that Nabil shared with other wounded.

You were concentrated changing the glasses when you felt some hands around you, caressing your belly and a chin resting on your shoulder, you leaned on the body that hugged you from behind while you finished serving the water, when you finished you separated from Ubbe and turned to look at him.

-What? - You said seeing his expression, which could go through that of a naughty child.

-Nothing-his smirk told you the opposite but you passed by him and offered the water to Nabil, when you returned to sit where you had been at his side and the gaze of your friend passed by you to settle in Ubbe, you noticed why the prince had smiled like that.

-What happened to you? Did they make you a slave? -he asked doubtfully, although because of the way he looked at you, he already knew the answer.

-No, I’m a free woman

-Free in everything? Even to allow that man to touch you.

You left the plate in your hands to the side and looked at him, swallowing saliva to try to find the words -Many things have happened and there are things in my life that have changed, I am in love with Ubbe and for the moment I want to stay with him -you paused a little and your gaze settled on Ubbe, on the other side of the room, with a glass in his hand and his eyes lost on the wall - I don’t think I’ll be back soon.

- What about Hurrem and me?

-I love you Nabil but it´s the same love i feel for Hurrem and now I'm living, when I was at home you know how I felt, here I don't have to worry about being judged for any mistake, they don't care.

Nabil nodded slowly listening to you, I knew that I did not agree with your decision and although you had not explained everything in detail, he had understood the limits that you had already broken with your relationship with Ubbe, Nabil was a man of God, he was pious and devout and he also saw you that way, so you could see perfectly how his face was reflecting disappointment at the new discovery about your life.

-At least you pray?

-Of course, my faith is still intact, simply because of the circumstances I don't comply with all the rules

-I hope God forgives you, I will pray for it

-I hope so too

It was late when you left that room, Ubbe was gone before you. Tired, you dragged your feet down the hall, feeling heavy and apathetic, the conversation with Nabil had left you feeling uncomfortable, you knew your relationship with Ubbe was wrong, forbidden but I was hearing it from someone's mouth, even if it wasn't directly was different.

You had not rested anything in the last days, every time you closed your eyes to sleep you woke up crying or needing to vomit, but That was not the worst, the worst was that Ubbe was never by your side when that happened. Ivar had managed to keep him busy even at night and you wanted to have him by your side, to calm your discomfort and because you were aware of his jealousy because of Nabil. 

That time you were lucky, Ubbe was in the room and that was enough for you, you lay next to him and curled up in his chest, the man opened his eyes to feel the contact and wrapped his arms around you, you just wanted to sleep peacefully for one night

You woke up because someone threw you out of bed, the surprise and the hard blow against the ground left you stunned, the next thing you felt was how someone dragged you along the floor to the door while you shouted and revolted trying to let go and know what was happening, you were sure that your screams could be heard all over the hall and you expected Ubbe to appear at any moment but it wasn´t like that, the person who was dragging you and the one you had not yet seen the face put you standing at the end of the hall and several torches lit up in front of you, letting you see familiar faces, Ivar, Hvitserk, Harald and Ubbe were there.

You tried to move forward but the man who had dragged you there held you by the two arms and at the least movement you made pulled you violently to keep you still.

-What is happening?- You asked scared and confused, waiting for some explanation from the familiar faces in front of you.

- (YN) You are detained for treason

-WHAT?

-You have let all the prisoners of the African army escape and they have stolen one of our boats- Ivar was the only one who spoke and didn´t sound surprised at all, spoke as if he were only saying "Good morning" with a big smile on his lips.

-I haven’t done anything, I’ve been sleeping all this time-You paused realizing that Ubbe was in front of you- In fact...i was sleeping with you, SAY SOMETHING- you yelled at him losing your temper and patience.

-Some men will inspect your room, if we find the keys from the chains and the cell there, it will be shown that you are guilty (YN) -Hvitserk spoke, looking at you with grief, you looked at Ubbe who did not look at you and called him but he didn´t raise his head.

You were locked in one of the cells where you cried alone for the rest of the night, until you heard the door open, you didn’t turn around, you didn’t want to see who it was, so you remained leaning against the wall looking at the small window through which you could see that it had already dawned.

- (YN) - You heard Helga’s voice - I brought you water and some food, how are you?

You turned to look at her and she crouched down to hug you, you hugged her as if she were your salvation -Helga, I swear to God that I have done nothing.

-I know, I know, I believe you but the situation is difficult, I come to warn you that they have found the keys in your room.

-That’s impossible.

-Floki and Hvitserk don´t believe that you have anything to do with the escape, we will find who it has been.

-And Ubbe?-sweetheart ...- She started talking, stroking your hair -he ... i think ....- her words were cut, unable to form a sentence because I didn't know what to tell you.

-Helga, I think no one has given you permission to go down here -Ubbe´s voice startled you both and Helga gave you one last hug and got upand went past Ubbe hitting him with her shoulder before leaving.

Ubbe entered the cell and sat in front of you, leaning against the opposite wall - The keys were in your room.

-Do you really think I would betray you?

-I don’t know, maybe you wanted to go back to Nabil but it went wrong and they left you here.

His words sounded bitter and poisonous and it hurt, it was incredible how your chest could sink deeper and deeper with each event, every time you thought you couldn’t feel worse, one more piece was broken.

You got up and Ubbe did the same, you stayed in front of him -Ubbe you don´t remember? I told you to promise to take me back home when I asked for it and you accepted, WHY WOULD I WANT TO ESCAPE FROM A PLACE IN WHICH I AM NOT OBLIGATED TO BE?

.-You may have released them because they are your people, it would be normal that after seeing Nabil you would like to return.

-Why would I want to go back to a place where I have nothing? My father is dead and my only friends have a family to look after, my place is here.

Ubbe seemed to realize what you had said and his attitude changed - your father?

-He died a few months after I left

-Why didn’t you say anything?

-Because my head was full of things, these last weeks have been horrible but ....i need to know one thing. Why when they came for me you weren't in the room? why you were already with Ivar?

-Because he called a meeting to talk about security reinforcement, I should be the one who is questioning you - he recriminated you and walking towards the door.

-Ubbe, time is up- warned a guard from the door.

You walked away from him and looked back at the wall where you had been resting- What have I done to you to treat me like this? I have given you everything, even my integrity- The last thing came out of your mouth in a lower tone, you didn’t expect an answer and you didn’t get it either, Ubbe had left leaving you alone again.

A gloomy atmosphere surrounded the great hall in which the brothers, Harald, Floki, Helga and Vilde were gathered, Ubbe listened to the conversation in silence, drinking from his glass without being thirsty.

-What will we do with (YN)? - Harald asked leaning back in his seat.

-Kill her- Ivar answered simply, earning the murmurs of everyone at the table, from everyone but Ubbe who didn't answer, didn't move, nothing indicated that what he was hearing would affect him.

-We can't do that-Helga protested-She hasn't done it, I don't think it was her, it's also a disproportionate punishment, she hasn't killed anyone.

-Exactly, besides, those soldiers are not a threat, they didn't even want to be here in the first place- Hvisterk supported Helga's argument.

Floki leaned on the table to look more closely at Ivar, he had practically raised that boy, he was almost his son - why do you want to kill her? I thought you liked her.

-I don't like non-Vikings, you should know Floki, and my decision is to execute her.

-Ubbe, do you agree?- Vilde asked, touching his leg, which brought Ubbe's mind back to the table, Ubbe was aware of Vilde's fleeting glances on him, how she blinked when he spoke to her, how her voice sounded sweeter around him and how she licked her lips when he spoke to her, Ubbe had noticed it long ago and the cold woman's hand resting on hir leg was the final confirmation he expected. -Yes, I agree.

Even Harald was speechless, not expecting that response from Ubbe, Vilde tightened her grip on the prince's leg and he placed his hand on the woman's, who hid a satisfied smile at the man's reaction.

When the meeting was over, everyone dispersed in heavy silence, York had always been a dark city, from the first day they arrived but it had never felt as heavy as that day.

Vilde followed Ubbe down the hall to the room, she sat on the bed as if it belonged to her, leaning on her hands while stroking the fabrics that covered the bed

-Get comfortable- Ubbe invited as he took off his own shoes

.-I have to say that you surprised me, for a moment I thought you were really in love with that ... I don't even know what to call her.

He poured a glass of wine while staring at the woman who was sitting in front of him, he approached her walking slowly and when he arrived in front of her body, with one hand, he undid the bow of the dress that kept her chest covered -i must admit sex was good 

Vilde laughed at his comment -I doubt that it can be compared to what is going to happen tonight-  she said while still looking at him and leaving the entire upper part of her body exposed.

Ubbe approached her and kissed her, pushing Vilde to lie on the bed, while kissing her, with one hand he held her by the neck, leaving her in the perfect position so she couldn't move -Of course it won't compare to tonight.

Vilde was late in realizing what was happening, after those words, the next thing she knew was that Ubbe was on top of her, with a wide smile and a dagger had been stuck in her stomach.

-What ... what does this mean?- she asked, panicking, trying to get Ubbe away from her.

-Do you think I'm stupid?- Ubbe asked, sinking more the kinfe into her belly, causing her to scream in pain. The prince didn´t let her move,he was holding her so tight that his fingers dug into her skin leaving red grooves - Do you think I don't see what you do since day one?

Of course he got no response from Vilde's dying body, Ubbe took the knife from her stomach and wiped the curled edge on the woman's dress, watched her for a few seconds, as her body remained almost immobile, except for some spasms, while she was bleeding to death.

With his hands still covered in warm blood and his stained clothes, he left the room and called one of the men waiting in the hallway.

-Take the body and burry it.

-How much do you think it would take Ivar to discover that his witch is dead? - Hvitserk asked handing his brother some keys

-I guess we'll find out when he finds out, we must hurry.

[footballerimaginess]

Stop Flirting

Hi can I have a alessandro schöpf imagine where he is jealous from his friends because they are flirting with his girlfriend at a charity event and they have a happy ending!! Word Count: 611 It was one of the first nights in a very long time where you were actually going out. Work had been so busy and you hadn’t been able to go out as much as you wanted. But when Alessandro told you about a charity event hat he was invited you, you jumped at the chance. You were so bored of being super busy with work, you needed some time off. After taking an hour getting ready, you finally looked perfect. Well you thought you did anyway. Alessandro was waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. "WOW. Oh my" he said as he grabbed your hand and you span around for him. "Honestly you look so beautiful. I can't believe it, I feel like I need to take you out for dates more often princess" he kissed you on the lips. He had all lipstick smudged on his lip. "Sorry baby" you said to him as you wiped his lips. You drove to the charity event, it was brimming with cameras. There was just so many people here. Alessandro had told you that some of his team mates were coming to this event with their girlfriends and wives.  "Wow Alessandro, there's a reason you never bring your mrs out with you. She is incredible" Weston Mckenzie said as he shot Alessandro a cheeky wink. "There's a reason why she doesn't come out. She is so busy being a business women. So she doesn't come with me as much. But seeing as those cheeky comments, she is mine" you laughed as you felt your face become hotter. "I feel rather embarrassed now, lets go" you said to Aless as he ran his hands down your shoulders. "Its nice for compliments baby" he kissed the top of your head. "It is, but I always get really embarrassed you know that I mean they were flirting with it so its fine" you smirked at him. Once you had gotten a drink, you headed back over to see the boys and their partners. "Y/N, you look beautiful. Don't worry Alessandro I wont be making a cheeky little comment because she knows how beautiful she is" you smirked at Sebastian Rudy's wife, Elena said. "Aww thanks gorgeous" you laughed as you gave her a quick cuddle. "You okay? I haven't seen you in ages beautiful" you turned around as you saw Nabil standing beside you. "Aww Nabil, its been ages I am well thankyou" you smiled as you gave hin a kiss on the cheek. "you look amazing, wow. I am guessing you are sick of hearing that aren't you Aless" Alessandro rolled his eyes and shaking his head. "Just ever so slightly, stop all of you flirting with my girlfriend. I know you haven't got a girlfriend. But she's mine, eyes and hands off boys" You laughed as he pressed his lips to the side of your head. "You love it really don't you babe. You just love it that everyone finds your girlfriend highly attractive but in reality you love it" You teased him. You turned to him and kissed him on the lips. "Its okay, I am not bothered by the flirting I know you are slightly annoyed by this because they keep talking about me. But I am going to always e with you. So don't worry that little head of yours" You said you ran your hand through your hair. "Thanks baby, I am not that annoyed by the comments because I know that you aren't ether. I know you are coming home with me so it is completely fine. The boys can carry on talking about you" Alessandro smirked.

[vierschanzentournee]

Tumblr’s Favourite F2 Drivers!

Votes have been cast, counted and recounted (and recounted again because arithmetic is really hard and I’m sick), and the results are in! I’d just like to say a massive thanks to all 31 respondents (wait, 30, why am I thanking myself?), to everyone who reblogged the link, and to Jenny (@danytorpedokvyat) for the inspiration! I’m going to tag everyone who left a URL, just in case anyone’s been sitting up at night waiting for the results lmao, so brace yourselves:

@charlesleclerc @lucasdigrassis @curbstones-and-cowboyboots @rararaenbow @redbullricciardo @aroncant @harlot-of-babylon (it won’t let me tag you properly?) @racingamy @ladyrindt @emilia-jade @kingbottas @danytorpedokvyat @pushandrush (sorry, I don’t think yours will work either! I’m awful at tumblr) @tyretracks-andbrokenhearts @livinglegendsimplythebest @aaronoxladewilshere @onlyailisha @bozplz (what am i missing how does tumblr work) @destroyingdestroyers @danyandcarlos @f1-stereo

(whew!)

Now, onto what we all want: the results, which will be under the cut!

Tumblr’s Favourite F2 Drivers

Watching the votes come in was pretty wild - there were moments where certain drivers looked set to beat others, and then the tides would turn and someone who was wildly popular a day or two ago was suddenly completely absent from votes, or even receiving votes for least favourite! The points system worked like so: a vote for ‘favourite driver’ was worth 5 points, ‘2nd favourite’ 4 points, ‘3rd favourite’ was worth 3, ‘4th favourite’ 2 points, and ‘5th favourite’ paying just 1 point. An ‘honourable mention’ wasn’t worth anything (other than pride), and a vote for ‘least favourite’ didn’t subtract any points either. So, how did Tumblr vote for their favourite F2 drivers?

In 3rd place... Nyck de Vries (42 points)

I’ll admit, this one was a bit of a surprise to me! With 3 votes for favourite, the Dutch driver was the 3rd most popular choice for favourite (are you sure that’s enough threes, Nyck?) and his points haul gave a significant boost to his new team, Racing Engineering in the team rankings.

In 2nd place… Artem Markelov (78 points)

Everyone’s favourite soft Russian (or, at least, my favourite soft Russian) takes a strong second place, with a 36 point margin over de Vries. He was the second most popular choice for favourite, with 19.4% of votes for favourite!

And our winner is… Charles Leclerc (119 points)

I mean, we all knew this was coming. The golden boy of Tumblr, the hot property in motorsport, it seems that Leclerc just doesn’t know how to lose. But he didn’t just not lose - he absolutely destroyed his opponents, winning by a margin of 41 points over second-placed Markelov. He took 18 votes for favourite (58.1%!)

Let’s spare a moment to think about those poor souls who received zero points-scoring votes: Sergio Canamasas, Nabil Jeffri, and Stefano Coletti. The full standings are as follows: Charles Leclerc (119), Artem Markelov (78), Nyck de Vries (42), Oliver Rowland (32), Antonio Fuoco (25), Sean Gelael (23), Luca Ghiotto (17), Nicholas Latifi (14), Sérgio Sette Câmara, Roberto Merhi, Callum Ilott (13), Norman Nato, Alexander Albon (9), Ralph Boschung (8), Jordan King, Gustav Malja, Louis Delétraz (6), Raffaele Marciello, Sergey Sirotkin, Santino Ferrucci (5), Johnny Cecotto Jr (4), Nobuharu Matsushita (2), Robert Vișoiu (1), Sergio Canamasas, Nabil Jeffri, and Stefano Coletti (0).

Tumblr’s Least Favourite F2 Drivers

There were some surprises in here, but some results were pretty inevitable! We only had 25 responses here, as it was an optional question.

In 3rd place… a tie between: Johnny Cecotto Jr, Nobuharu Matsushita, and Raffaele Marciello (2 votes each)

I can understand Cecotto’s place here, with his reputation for fast but erratic driving, but Matsushita and Marciello are beyond me!

In 2nd place… Oliver Rowland (4 votes)

Oh, Ollie, the marmite of the F2 world. (Apparently) far less popular this year than last, it might have something to do with his threat to Charles Leclerc (who we’ve established is the favourite by a mile) and his championship?

And our winner (loser?) is… Sergio Canamasas (6 votes)

Could we really expect any different? The impulsive, aggressive Spanish driver has spent the past 6 years forcing everyone’s favourites off the track through his ‘robust’ defence, and although he could be said to have been improving recently, it seems to be too little, too late for Canamasas!

There were several other choices for least favourite, each with 1 vote: Markelov, de Vries, Nato, King, Sette Câmara, Boschung, Sirotkin, Vișoiu, and Delétraz

Almost, but not quite

Some drivers did better in the honourable mentions than in the points:

In 3rd place… an eight way tie! Ghiotto, Latifi, de Vries, Malja, Sirotkin, Gelael, Delétraz, and Marciello (two votes each)

I’m not even going to try and go into detail about what’s going on here

In 2nd place… Nobuharu Matsushita (3 votes)

He certainly got more honourable mentions than points-paying votes, poor guy!

And our winner is… Sérgio Sette Câmara (5 votes)

Surprisingly popular in the honourable mentions category is one of our latest race winners, and youngest driver on the grid, 19-year-old Brazilian (@lucasdigrassis) Sérgio Sette Câmara.

The Team’s Championship

I added up the totals of each team’s drivers (each driver was counted for the team they drove for last, as of Monza - so de Vries counts for Racing Engineering, Merhi for Rapax, and Sirotkin for ART, for example)

Prema Racing - 144 points

Russian Time  - 95 points

DAMS - 49 points

Racing Engineering - 48 points

Pertamina Arden - 32 points

Rapax - 23 points

Trident - 23 points

MP Motorsport - 19 points

ART Grand Prix - 11 points

Campos Racing - 9 points

There’s some pretty large gaps at the top of the standings - no one could stand up to the might of Charles Leclerc’s points haul, and Russian Time can only manage to get within 49 points of Prema. It’s another leap from Russian Time to DAMS, home to Ollie Rowland, one of both the most and least popular drivers on the grid, and Nicholas Latifi, no one’s least favourite, but no one’s favourite either. Then, things get incredibly close. Nyck de Vries’ move to Racing Engineering hauls them up into fourth, just a point down on DAMS, and the popularity of Sean Gelael is a great help to Pertamina Arden. Rapax and Trident find themselves with the same number of points - possibly something to do with the sheer number of drivers Trident has had this season. MP Motorsport, ART Grand Prix and Campos Racing round out the standings, and I know they’re dead last but I love my Campos boys anyway.

Demographics

I’m well aware that Tumblr doesn’t represent the majority of F2 fans, nor does this survey even represent the majority of F2 fans on Tumblr - the demographics here were entirely optional, and mostly just for fun (because I’m horrendously nosey).

So, I noticed like a week after I published the survey that I messed up the age options, so I’ve taken 25-34 and 25-49 and combined them into 25+, and I’m very sorry for any confusion my tragic arithmetic skills have caused!

30 respondents of 31 left their age - of these, 15 (50%) were aged between 18 and 24, 11 (36.7%) were between 13 and 17, and 4 (13.3%) were 25 or older. No one was aged over 50 - we’re a pretty youthful fanbase!

The same 30 respondents also left their gender - and hey, who said racing was a man’s world! 29 (96.7%) of those who specified identified as female; the remaining 1 (3.3%) said ‘other’. Now, if we could just have a few non-male drivers…

Finally, nationality. I only got 25 responses here, and one of them was Bacon, so let’s say 24. Of these, 7 self-identified as British - 11 said they were British, or else said they were English or Northern Irish (I don’t want to just lump you in, because I know how annoying that can be!). 4 said they were Dutch, 2 said Hungarian, and there was 1 each for Argentine, Australian & German, Belgian, Finnish, Moldovan, American and Irish.

To sum up; F2 has a rather young, predominantly female, but very international fanbase!

Honestly, if you’ve made it to here through all my rubbishy, tired ramblings, well done, and thank you! If I’ve made any errors, if you’d like to see all the data or want me to analyse something else, or if you just wanna shout about F2 or whatever, just shoot me a message (I don’t bite, I’m way too desperate for friends!)

[rkalzainwritersstory-blog]

Revenge: part 3

You weren’t an atheist your whole life.  In fact, you have been brought up within a very religious family. It was only when you came into the country that you declared your atheism. However it wasn’t due to your disbelief in the presence of god. You were just angry with him so you decided to banish him from your mind and heart by convincing yourself and others that you were an atheist. But you can’t help but revisit him at times when you feel upset, lost or even happy. He’s always on your mind but you wouldn’t admit. Within the past three months, you found yourself praying from time to time. You were at your lowest point and you knew that no one would help you except him…

You popped your first pill for the day as you sat on the couch patiently waiting for its effect. It’s funny how much life could change within such a short time. You laughed in your head at how much changed.

‘Did you take your pill?’

You saw the message but ignored it. ‘He’s so annoying I swear’ you said to yourself while Still on the couch.  Nabil was very protective of you. Like a brother or a good looking friend you cannot have feelings for. Most importantly, he was your ex-boyfriend’s friend and also the only one who helped you when you changed cities and moved for the second time, three months ago. After that incident, all you could feel is shame and embarrassment. You just wanted to run away. And you did. Within one day, you managed to empty the necessary things from your apartment, change your number and move into an apartment that was roughly about an hour away from the loft. You were so lucky as an apartment was evacuated a month ago in Nabil’s story and he managed to hold it for you.  You abandoned your old life and learned to live in the new one. You spent these three months mending what broke. You will never forget that day… you remember staring at his back in disbelief as he exited your apartment. Your body was shaking, your heart was about to stop. It felt as if you were hit by a train. You couldn’t even cry, your body went numb and you just stared at the door…

Your thoughts were interrupted as you heard someone knock at your door.

“Open it’s me, Nabil” he shouted from outside.

You told Nabil everything short after you moved. You couldn’t hold it in anymore and he was your only friend after you decided to cut off your relationship with everyone at the loft. You didn’t even talk to them; you didn’t explain, you didn’t call, nothing. You just left without notice that same day. You can’t help but wonder how they felt when they came to your apartment and found it completely emptied or how they felt when they found out that you changed your number. You wanted everything that reminded you of Milos to be destroyed. You didn’t want to remember him, you hated him, you hated his gut. You wouldn’t even allow yourself to cry. Nights after nights, you’re ashamed of yourself, of your body, of how you gave everything to him. You hated that you loved him, you hated that you believed him, you hated how you forgot your morals and your god at a moment of weakness. You were going crazy. Anxiety and stress creeped into your body and you’d stay awake for days. You couldn’t eat or drink, you’d throw up the moment you’d smell anything meaty or even buttery. Your body became very weak and if it wasn’t for Nabil; you wouldn’t be alive today as suicidal thoughts visited your head every single sleepless night. Every broken sob you held in was piling into your heart.  God sent you Nabil that night. The night you finally broke, you were on the floor sobbing and screaming, you were panting hard as you lay on the floor for a second only to get up again and smash what’s around you.  You couldn’t take it anymore; you didn’t know what to do.  You wanted this to be a lie, you loved him, you hated him, you wanted to kill him and set yourself free from this torture. But all you could do was scream, sob and crash whatever you could see in front of you.  Nabil darted into your front door upon hearing your screams and pinned you against him but you wouldn’t stop; you completely lost control of your body. He was still battling with you but you eventually caved in. ‘what have I become?’ you asked yourself the next day as you were sitting in the waiting room of a psychologist’s clinic with him. You took blood tests and sooner than you thought, you were popping antidepressants and stress relief pills every day.

 He eyed you up and down before entering. “You keep ignoring my texts and I will keep showing up at your doorstep” he said as he made his way into your living room. You leaned against the still open door. “Am not a child Nabil! “

“Then why do you act like one?”

“Oh shut up! Where’s Rama?”

“She’s not coming, close the door” and you did.

He finally sat down after bombarding you with his questions about your lunch, your sleep, and your medicines. He even went as far as asking whether you were showering regularly or not. He was so weird sometimes. But he was very kind and you knew he meant well. He eyed your pill container that was still on the table. “Hey! There are only three pills left! You’re so careless I swear! “He literally screamed at you and you just stood there staring at him. You couldn’t help but giggle and mock at his reaction. “Chill” You said trying to muffle your laugh. “I am not careless; I plan on going to get another bottle tomorrow”

He glared at you silently before accusing you of being a liar.” You invited me and Rama tomorrow to spend the day here. Where you going to leave us and go? “He caught you. You were in fact careless. In right words, you didn’t give a fuck.  You took in all his lecturing before you moved to sit near him on the couch, leaning your head into the back cushion. “Nabil?” you eyed him until he nodded. “How is he? Joseph I mean” he looked taken aback by your question.  You could make that out by the way he stared at you. “He missed you when you dumped him for that bitch” he said before turning his face from yours. You were still eyeing him silently. “You really broke his heart but look at you now. Karma is a bitch, isn’t it? “You felt embarrassed and ashamed because you knew that what you did to joseph was horrible. You didn’t love him. You didn’t care for him at all, he was an object you used for a while to attract Milos and you selfishly broke up with him when you felt that he was serious about his love for you. “I will never tell him what Milos did to you, no matter how much I want to. I promise you that” his eyes were back to you now. “I will protect you. I promise that as well” you turn your head to the other side as you feel little tears pooling in your eyes but not enough to make you cry. Those pills were good at their job.

---x

You woke up the next day to the sound of Rama singing in your room while searching through your closet. Nabil has a key to your apartment. So you figured that’s how they both entered. You loved waking up with someone. Waking up to an empty apartment is a horrible feeling. You smiled as you took in her horrible voice along with the bright sun invading half your bed through the window. You got up, kissed her neck from behind and ran into the bathroom before Nabil sees your ugly sleepy face.

It was about 5pm and it was already the hundredth time Nabil has reminded you of buying a new pill bottle. So you give in, got dressed and headed to the nearest pharmacy. It was about ten minutes away by walk.

“I am sorry dear but I don’t have the third prescription!”  He said while eyeing his laptop.

“Oh please Dave! Please look again I cannot live without any of them, they’re important” you begged him. Dave has been providing you weekly with your pills for the past two months. This is the first time he doesn’t supply them completely.

You got out of the pharmacy and stood there for a few minutes trying to remember if you saw any other pharmacies in the area. You remembered one that was close to the loft but you weren’t going there.  What If you ran into them? You catch your head with your left hand as you start panicking. ‘I deserve it! I always wait until the last second!”  You scolded yourself. Right after that, you heard Dave screaming your name as he bumps into you from behind. “Oh thank god you’re still here. I spoke to my friend. He was able to grab a bottle from a pharmacy near him. If you want you can meet up with him now and collect it” you felt your shoulders relax when suddenly they tense again upon hearing the address he gave you. Very close to the loft. You mind jumped here and there while Dave was still waiting for your response. You had no choice. You used the train station and continued your way walking until you met the guy and took the pills. Your head was turning right and left; keeping your eye out in case you see any of them. ‘If you see any of them, just run!’ you said to yourself. You let out a sigh of relief while heading back to the train station. ‘Thank god’ you kept repeating in your mind. You turned your head to the back a few times; you couldn’t help but feel followed. Maybe it was your mind playing games with you as of how paranoid you were or, there was someone following you indeed. You looked around while in the train, not being suspicious, trying to find a familiar face. You let out a long breath you didn’t realize you were holding as you tried to relax yourself into the seat.

You stood at your apartment door, chuckling and giggling at how loud Nabil and Rama were blasting the music. You entered and Nabil was looking all funny, belly dancing in the living room to some Algerian song. You sat on the couch and threw bills at them while they funny dance. Laughing and giggling sounded the whole apartment and you heard a muffled knock on the door. You got up, back walking towards the door; you couldn’t take your eyes off the hilarious scene in front of you. You slowly turn around and opened the door. You barely moved as you tried to hide a giggle forming in your stomach upon seeing three very familiar angry faces infront of you. You managed to cover how you really felt as you eyed each of them, face first, until your eyes landed on that particular third and you felt your body burn in fires of hell. You wanted to jump grab his neck and bite into it so hard, rip his glands out and watch him suffocate on the floor. But you had enough of this weakness. You managed to paint the most disrespectful grin on your face as you look from beneath your shoulder at both the dancers in your living room. Nabil saw you and started hopping his way near you.  He looked drunk and you wanted to laugh at how dedicated he was to his hip movements. “Who are these?” he looked at you and then at the three of them.

You grinned again at them and said “go inside Nabil, I’ll deal with them and get back to you”

The anger you had for Milos formed into hate that didn’t just affect him but affect George and Joshua as well. You didn’t stand looking at their faces. You hated their faces. You wanted to punch them so hard.

Nabil looked at you, shocked by your sudden rudeness. He had never seen you this disrespectful before. So he decided to drop a ‘chill out’ resonating sentence. “We’ll be in your room, you guys are welcome inside” you glare at him and watch him call Rama into the bedroom. ‘I will show him’ you promised yourself as you eyed Nabil. You didn’t spare a look at them as you left the door opened and headed towards the living room to which all three followed.

You sat at the couch and motioned to them to sit on the opposite one.

“What?” you said so coldly as you laid both your elbows on your parted knees. You saw George’s anger pool in his eyes, venom standing on the top of his teeth. He didn’t waste any time as he starting spiting his words into your face.

“Don’t ‘what’ me! What the fuck is wrong with you? How dare you leave like that without saying a word? Three fucking months and am searching for you everywhere! You want to leave? Fuck it. Say so, don’t just leave like that! “His voice started to break and you could see his expressions softening. Joshua stared at you while Milos’s head was hanging low on his shoulder. “How can you do that to me huh?” his voice lowered. “What did I do? What did any of us do?” upon hearing that, you felt your blood boil. You wanted to scream at them, tell them what that fucker did. You were surprised that he didn’t voice his victory though but you stayed silent. “What happened to you? Why are you being so cold? Answer me, say something. Who are those people and what were those pills you took from that random man on the street?” his voice rose again as he finally screamed “say something!”

You calmly raised your eyes to meet his as you slowly lay your back against the couch.

“You guys clearly didn’t get the hint. I moved once and you followed me. I moved again and again, you followed me.” You giggled, loud enough for them hear. “I mean, fuck. Just leave me alone. I don’t want to see you or know you or deal with you and the trash on your right” Milos sat on George’s right. George was so shocked by your behavior, your rudeness and your sudden resentment. He looked deep into your eyes as he was trying to find something from the old you to hold on to but he couldn’t. He starred at Milos knowing well after what you said, that your problem was with Milos as well. Milos still held his head down. “Now listen to me” you continued “forget what we were once and move on. Now, I don’t have any time for this, get out of my apartment.” You said as you starred right into their eyes, stood up and went into the bedroom; leaving them to exit your apartment.

--x--

[tipsoctopus]

"Poor guy", "So sad" - Many Liverpool fans react to comments on failed transfer

It was one of the biggest transfer sagas of last year when Lyon forward Nabil Fekir’s protracted move to Liverpool seemed to collapse at the final hour.

Reports had suggested that the France international was closing in on a £53m move to Anfield, but Fekir’s side halted talks and called off the deal.

Now, the Frenchman’s manager Bruno Genesio has admitted to RMC Sport that his talisman’s failed move to the reigning Champions League holders last summer left the 25-year-old feeling “very frustrated”.

Watch Liverpool Live Streams With StreamFootball.tv Below

The revelation saw Liverpool fans take to Twitter to reveal their thoughts on the matter and many sympathised with Fekir’s plight at not being able to seal a huge move to the Premier League.

Indeed, some thought a move to Anfield could have been the “making of him” and that the forward – valued at £54m by Transfermarkt –  had realised that himself and that a major opportunity had been lost.

A few fans of the Merseyside club suggested that perhaps it wasn’t too late for Fekir’s chances of playing in a Reds shirt and urged the club to perhaps pull the trigger on a deal this summer.

Check out some of the reaction of Liverpool fans below:

gotta feel for this man

— Genuine Reds (@GenuineReds) 26 June 2019

Really feel for the lad, imagine being in your dream kit and turning around and saying ” sorry mate it’s off”

You’d be devestated

— fletch (@fletcher_xo) 26 June 2019

So sad

— Fadi (@fadi_jr2) 26 June 2019

Poor guy, must’ve been tough! That transfer could have been the making of him and I think he knew that

— Jonny Davies (@_JGD) 26 June 2019

Swap him for Lallana. NOW.

— VVD SZN (@VirgilFutbol4) 26 June 2019

When a dream move gets snatched away in the last minute it’s bound to mess a player up for sometime, feel for the lad hopefully wherever he ends up in the new season we’ll see the best of him again.

— Shirni (@kloppite75) 26 June 2019

If so, we need his hunger and ofcourse signature

— Ogucha Nyasinga (@ogucha_v) 26 June 2019

from FootballFanCast.com https://ift.tt/2RDRMy7 via IFTTT from Blogger https://ift.tt/2Yh17OI via IFTTT

[sportsleague365]

So that’s it for another year, the Champions League group stage is done and dusted. In the end, we saw a the biggest sides all make it through. There were plenty of shocks and turns along the way, but in the end no one we expected to qualify didn’t. All four English sides made it into the round of 16, as did holders Real Madrid and tournament favourites Barcelona and Juventus. But what about the players? Who distinguished themselves? Who didn’t? We here at Squawka have come up with two combined XI’s highlighting the best and worst performers of the 2018 UEFA Champions League group stage. And to keep things interesting the “worst” list will comprise more notable players, rather than simply reeling off the outright worst performers from the weakest teams. BestAlissonLiverpool Liverpool paid £75m and all they got was this world-class goalkeeper with a tremendous beard. Look, Liverpool already had an improving defence with Virgil Van Dijk but sometimes you need a little extra; you need some peri peri salt on your fries. And Alisson is very much the peri peri salt of the Liverpool defence. Spicy! Joao CanceloJuventus If you ever watched Joao Cancelo play in Spain you may think that the guy currently lining up for Juventus is a Skrull or something because the difference is like early 90’s Serie A vs. early 2010’s Serie A. Cancelo is a freight train of a full-back constantly supplying attacking width and pace in a team that needs every bit of it. Manuel AkanjiBorussia Dortmund It’s hard to say what is more unexpected: Dortmund’s excellence this season or the ease with which Manuel Akanji has adapted to life at the top table. The Swiss centre-back has become a true stalwart for Dortmund and at just 23 years old is the leader of Lucien Favre’s defence. Giorgio ChielliniJuventus In terms of under-the-radar consistent excellence you’d be hard-pressed to find a better defender than Gerard Piqué, unless of course you looked over to Turin where Giorgio Chiellini has been breaking attackers hearts for what seems like two decades now but has in fact been just fourteen years. The foundational stone that has helped Juve’s excellent defence guide them to the round of 16 (it will surprise no one that he missed the final, whimpering defeat to Young Boys). Jordi AlbaBarcelona Jordi Alba is the approximate height of a tin of biscuits yet he has the second-most assists in the Champions League this season and has become a genuine flank-conquering full-back. He even scored his first Champions League goal since 2013, making Inter his victim after doing the same to AC Milan all those years ago. Houssem AouarLyon Lyon worked their way to the knockout rounds through the quality of their attacking play, and that attack was powered largely by Houssem Aouar. The 20-year-old (yes, he is just 20) has been a creative force at the heart of the French side’s midfield, constantly moving the ball forward for the likes of Nabil Fekir, Maxwell Cornet and Memphis to do the damage. Sergio BusquetsBarcelona He’ll never get the recognition but Sergio Busquets is the best midfielder in the world (sorry Luka) and has been brilliant once again as Barcelona have made the so-called Group of Death look like a Sunday afternoon stroll down Las Ramblas. Passing, tackling, intercepting, The Grandmaster can do it all. Kylian MbappéPSG What more is there to say about the phenomenal Kylian Mbappé? He continues to thrive in the Champions League, even as PSG struggled collectively. Mbappé’s pulsating runs forward caused havoc for every opponent and his unselfish play has led to a competition-high 4 assists, giving PSG what few successes they’ve managed to conjure. Leo MessiBarcelona The best player in the planet has, hey what a shock, been the best player in the Champions League group stages. The Argentine missed the double-header with Inter through injury and was just a sub in a dead-rubber (for Barça) vs. Spurs. But in three games he still managed to put in a masterclass at Wembley and score a team-high six goals, guiding his side to top spot with sublime and entertaining ease. Dusan TadicAjax No one expected Ajax to hit the Champions League as hard as they have, but Dusan Tadic’s dribbling, creativity and nerves of steel have allowed them to do just that. The Dutch side didn’t just play well, but they are improbably back in the knockout rounds, largely thanks to Tadic leading them from the front. Robert LewandowskiBayern Munich Whilst Lewandowski’s peers have more or less confined their goalscoring genius to domestic competition, the Polish striker is still battering them in for fun in the Champions League – with seven goals scored he is the competition’s leading scorer and a guiding light for Bayern who have looked mostly just “alright” in general. WorstAndriy PyatovShakhtar Donetsk It’s hard for Pyatov, but Shakhtar have been diabolical as a defensive unit. They conceded at least two goals in every game up to the make-or-break clash with Lyon, where they only conceded one; but that was enough to send them home. JuanfranAtlético Madrid Juanfran should have been phased out of the Atleti side two years ago, but he wasn’t. So instead we got what happened this year, where an old and hobbled Juanfran got torn asunder by Jadon Sancho and Borussia Dortmund, resulting in Diego Simeone’s heaviest ever defeat. JemersonMonaco Oh, Jemerson. He was poor from start to finish in the Champions League but so was basically every other Monaco player. What makes Jemerson stand out was, against Atlético Madrid, whilst playing with two teenagers with two appearances between them, Jemerson literally collapsed to the turf when trying to defend Angel Correa. This allowed the Argentine to square it for Antoine Griezmann and end the game. Jason DenayerLyon Lyon have leaked goals for fun and only the potency of their attack saw them qualify for the round of 16. Denayer in particular has been exposed repeatedly; most recently by Shakhtar with the Ukrainian’s first goal. Fabian DelphManchester City Fabian Delph was absolutely class for Manchester City last season but this time around some cracks are beginning to show in the Champions League. Lyon in particular exploited him repeatedly, most notably for their first goal at the Etihad; where Delph’s air-kick is destined to go on those blooper DVD’s they put out around Christmas (assuming they still make those). Nemanja MaticManchester United Nemanja Matic is very tall. He also possesses fairly impressive aerobic endurance and stamina. These are good things you can say about Nemanja Matic, probably the only good things. How he is still in the United side after a season of shambolic displays is anyone’s guess. He doesn’t do anything and José Mourinho resting him for Anfield is all that prevented him from featuring in the Valencia humiliation too. Key Stat:Nemanja Matic has made more sideways (121) and backwards (135) passes than any other Manchester United player in the Champions League this season. Dani ParejoValencia Dani Parejo has been underwhelming as Valencia have sort of limped their way out of the Champions League in depressing fashion, but that alone wouldn’t get him on this list. Oh no, Parejo takes it to the absolute next level by, in the first group game, facing 10-man Juventus, Parejo first conceded a penalty to give Juve the advantage and then late on when he could have nabbed a consolation from the spot, he missed! Imagine conceding a penalty and missing a penalty… in one match! Youri TielemansMonaco Youri Tielemans is struggling to really be his best self at Monaco. He’s still doing alright statistically, but the side are still terrible because the Belgian cannot exert any influence over them. Henry is even bringing this up at press conferences, hoping that things will change. Well, Monaco have crashed out of the Champions League in absurd fashion and Monaco won’t be back anytime soon. RodrigoValencia Obviously it would be unfair to blame all of Valencia’s woes on Rodrigo but he is their only starting forward who hasn’t scored. This guy bagged 19 last season and was talked about as a potential target for Real Madrid. Hindsight being what it is, maybe Valencia should have sold? Rodrigo has been abysmal in the Champions League and is a large part of why Valencia are out. Ivan PerisicInter World Cup hangover is a real thing. The Croatian players are nearly all suffering from it after their Herculean efforts to get to the World Cup final. Ivan Perisic looks shot, and right now Ed Woodward is probably feeling pretty smug. The Croatian has been nowhere near his creative best and that’s a large part of why Inter have bombed out of the Champions League because they couldn’t get PSV at home. Romelu LukakuManchester United Romelu Lukaku has been pretty bad so far this season. He has no goals in the Champions League and has been caught offside more times than any of his team-mates. He says he’s been carrying too much muscle, so let’s see if he can slim down in time to have an effective round of 16 because if he plays as pathetically as he did in the groups then United are in trouble. The post Best and ‘worst’ combined XIs from the Champions League group stage appeared first on Squawka News. #JordiAlba #AndriyPyatov #FabianDelph

[kevinsdsy]

apparently i cannot read aftg without forcing my own headcanons on y’all (first laila, now nabil) so here you go: my nabil mahmoud (mostly religious trauma so trigger warning) & tony jones headcanons

since tony jones is an assistant i headcanon him to be an intern, maybe a year or two older than nabil is.

since it was mentioned in tsc that tony has made it a habit to wait on nabil to finish praying i would like to put my take out there.

tony and nabil have made it a bit of a habit to linger around each other.

at first they didn’t even realise it. tony would linger after cleanup, and take his precious time doing his rounds, so he could catch nabil after showers and they could leave the building together.

nabil on the other hand would in return linger right after practice, helping tony out with the mess they had left behind on the field during practice.

it was laila who pointed their lingering behaviour out to nabil. she would tease him about how he’d always try to remove himself from conversations during their walk to the dressing room so he could catch a few extra minutes with tony instead.

nabil, who was a trojan at heart, would brush it off as him being polite and friendly— he's very aware of his sexuality, but it's something he has also surpressed a lot, due to religious trauma.

he would disregard his feelings towards tony and shove them down so deep that sometimes even he would forget the feelings were there.

but then he would pray before a game and tony would respectfully watch him in silence and give him a smile when nabil stood up from his prayer mat.

the flutter in his heart right after prayer would be followed with guilt washing over him.

even though his guilt would eat him up so much, he'd never take it out on tony. he would return tony's big smile, but tony would notice when nabil grew quieter— especially because nabil had a loud and hyper personality most days.

also the religious trauma is rooted into the fear of his parents' reactions.

most days he catches himself not even caring that he likes men— the guilt would only catch up with him when he thinks about how angry and disappointed his parents would be.

at some point the tony & nabil lingering around each other to catch a few extra minutes together turns into lingering touches.

it starts during games. nabil plays a full half and tony is quick to catch on that nabil needs a bit of help taking his gloves off. tony would in return help nabil out, carefully taking his glove off and examining nabil's hand.

nabil knows he doesn't need the examination, but he lets tony's hands linger on his and forces his eyes on the field to not get distracted by his feelings catching up with him.

tony nods at him in a confirmation he's okay, which nabil knows— he wasn't injured in the first place, his hands were just shaking a bit more than usual.

after one of the many games nabil asks tony out. which surprises tony beyond comprehension.

tony has watched nabil pray time after time. between practices. before games. during small breaks on the road when they have an away game. tony might have wished for nabil to share his feelings, but he never thought nabil would make the first step.

nabil nervously smiles at him and when the silence drags on a little too long he apologises in shame.

"i'm sorry. i thought— well, i thought you liked me too. i shouldn't have asked. it was stupid of me. reckless even, i'm sorry."

at some point nabil wonders who he's apologising to. to tony? to god? to his parents? it doesn't really matter, because the relief washes over him almost instantly when he realises he can live with the knowledge he still hasn't commited the sin that's waiting for him.

and then tony apologises in return for his belated reaction and tells nabil he loves to go out with him sometime.

and nabil expects the guilt to eat him up alive, but instead he forgets all his surpressed trauma and fears and smiles at tony.

"really?" he asks.

"yeah, really. as long as you're okay with it. i don't want to come inbetween you and your religion." tony tells him earnestly. and it catches nabil so off guard, that tony might have taken his religion into consideration too.

so in return nabil decides to admit something he never thought he would admit.

"if it's you, i don't think i’ll care what price i have to pay." and nabil realises he truly means his words. he promises himself to make whatever deal with god to keep tony in his life.

a silent prayer follows him around in which he reminds himself (and god) to live as earnestly as he can in return for forgivness on the one sin he knows he can't avoid.

he smiles at tony and helps him out with the last few tasks that tony is supposed to finish tonight.

instead of going to his apartment he goes straight to laila’s address without calling first.

both laila and cat welcome him with open arms like they’ve done many times before.

he spends the night with his head in laila's lap, talking about all his feelings for tony and the guilt and shame that comes along with it when he thinks about his parents.

laila wakes him up around fajr (dawn) prayer. she’s carrying a prayer mat and wearing a hijab (headscarf) which she only wears during prayers.

he wakes up slowly, but he realises if laila is okay sharing her bed with cat and still waking up at dawn so she can commit herself to god— he could be okay with this too one day.

[lusilly]

So how many children does Damian have in your universe? I think you mentioned two, but sometimes it seems like more.

lmfao this is actually a really funny question given the mechanics of the Multiverse Crisis in e28. you’re absolutely right - he has two, but it does sometimes feel like more lmfao.

Damian and Ellen adopt Natalia Nayar Wayne when they’re living in India, after they reconnected abroad; she’s about 2ish years old when they meet her, with no known relatives. At the orphanage they call her Tali, so Damian and Ellen decide to name her Natalia and call her Tallie (yes, Damian’s very aware that he’s naming his daughter after his mother, don’t @ him lmfao)

They adopt a second child, Richard Thomas Nayar Wayne, when Tallie’s 4-5. They adopt him through an agency since birth, and they have an open adoption with the mother for a little while but she’s tryna move on with her own life so that sort of. Falls through. But Tom (as they call him) never has any huge interest in his bio family so that’s not a problem.

Now, when Tallie’s in her teens, a boy is displaced into E28 much like the way Mar’i was in Wheel in the Sky. His entire world was destroyed, but he made it out and was pulled into E28 (presumably to correct the multiversal anomaly mentioned in Wheel in the Sky, but I’ll get to that in a second). Anyway, in his own universe, this kid was Nabil Wayne - Damian and Stephanie’s biological son. Damian is Freaked The Fuck Out at the notion of a child he’s responsible for but didn’t create, so he categorically rejects him as his son (incidentally, paternity can’t be proven because Nabil, coming from a different universe, has ever-so-slightly different biology on a cellular level, almost as if slightly alien). However, this kid has nowhere else to go, so he lives with Bruce for quite some time. Eventually, he and Tallie accidentally trip into what one may term a Relationship, which they know they can’t pursue because of the weird proximity Nabil has to Tallie’s father. Once Damian dies, tho……..they kind of decide, fuck it, we do what we want.

We call then Nallie; you can read Nabil’s arrival here and here, and the development of Nallie here and here. Following Damian’s death, Tallie will become the Demon’s Head, but that’s a whole next gen to the universe we have barely touched yet (turns out Talia had a baby daughter before her death, Nabil and Tallie adopt her and claim her as their own, Tallie grows increasingly paranoid that Nabil/their daughter will try to usurp her position because they both possess the Ghul bloodline and she doesn’t, eventually they fight against each other in a Civil War, etc etc).

AND THEN, finally….. there is UK!Nabil, which means Universe Kid!Nabil. The Universe Kid is the son Damian didn’t have in E28. Damian failing to have that son was the “Multiversal anomaly” that kicked off the destabilization of the Multiverse - because of that one blip in the timeline where something that was supposed to happen didn’t, E28 is sort of falling apart at the seams. As we read in Wheel in the Sky, Iris is desperately trying to save E28 by trying to pull Damian’s son in from other universes (and in doing so, destroying their home universe) - this is how we get Mar’i Grayson in E28 (she was pregnant with Ibn’s son weeks before Iris pulled her into E28), how we get Heretic (he’s a biological clone of Damian, which read as a son to Iris), and of course, how we get Nabil (whose existence in E28 SHOULD’VE stabilized everything).

However, PLOT TWIST!!! As we find out in Wheel in the Sky, Iris restarted the timeline to deliberately engineer a life where Damian doesn’t have his son (UK!Nabil) because that son basically Went Evil and Fuckt Up the universe bad (I’m taking cues from like……….Batman #666 and the 12 thousand other interps where Future Damian went bad). So Iris went back in time and changed things, right from the beginning, which didn’t erase UK!Nabil but rather trapped him in what we call Betweenspace, which is a sort of limbo like the one where Superboy Prime + Old Superman were trapped pre-Infinite Crisis. There in Betweenspace he’s basically just punchin reality doin exactly what Superboy Prime did lmfao, which is causing all kinds of mayhem and tugging on the strings of the universe, destabilizing things and making Iris work extra hard to try and fix it.

Iris tried to kill him in Wheel in the Sky just to get this the fuck over with, but unfortunately, Lian mistook him for Damian, and refused to let Iris kill him lmfao.

Later UK!Nabil will escape Betweenspace when Tom takes his place, and then your shit is really wrecked.

ANYWAY THIS IS EXTREMELY LONG AND CONFUSING! I love comic book logic and I am overambitious with universal shenanigans, so again, I recommend you read Wheel in the Sky (and perhaps Fiat iusticia) for the full lowdown. tldr, Damian has two kids, but he’s also haunted by an almost-kid from another universe who fucks with his ego and sense of self, and then there’s an Evil Son who exists in the Void created when Iris reset the timeline. it makes no sense i’m sorry lmfao

[londontheatre]

Julie Cheung-Inhin as Cassandra and Jamie Giles as Freddie – Credit Laura Henry Photography

It’s a bit odd seeing a scratch night of shows that includes two short plays that have already been developed into full-length productions, one of them I accepted an invitation to review last year, and the other on nationwide tour at the time of writing. But it goes to show that with this third edition of Untold Stories, put together by Untold Arts, and introduced by their producer Mark Lindow, that there can be life for a play after it has been performed at a scratch night (along with at least half a dozen other ones) to an audience heavy with ever-supportive friends and family.

Fruitcake by Jonathan Skinner sees a paralegal executive, Victoria (Cheska Hill-Wood) immediately breaching the fourth wall, as it is assumed the audience is here for a business-related seminar of some description. But this backdrop is quite irrelevant as the narrative swiftly becomes a very personal account of a fling she had with Daniel, her superior. Daniel’s wife, Sally, is not stupid, and doesn’t need everything spelled out for her, working out for herself what’s going on. Hill-Wood as Victoria has a very engaging manner, and as ever with monologues from a single perspective, it would have been good if the audience had heard from Daniel and/or Sally for their (presumably alternative) take on, ahem, events. The references to The Great British Bake Off were almost relentless, and the final line threw me slightly. “You’re heard the evidence, you may now retire to consider your verdict.” I wasn’t aware of the assumption that the audience was a jury sat in court.

I’m Just Here To Buy Soy Sauce by Jingan Young sees Freddie Reynolds (Jamie Giles) interviewing Cassandra Wu (Julie Cheung-Inhin). Or is it Cassandra interviewing Freddie? The play suggests foreign direct investment, particularly from China, is a key factor in the British property market, influencing the ever-rising and increasingly unaffordable prices far more than any political party, government policy or whether or not the United Kingdom leaves or remains in the European Union. This is further reflected in a follow-up scene, involving Fraser (Giles) and Charmaine (Cheung-Inhin), a young ex-couple who meet up again as Fraser happens to be passing through Charmaine’s area. “We can’t afford to live in our city,” Charmaine either declares or moans (I think the former), though she (and the play) are at a loss as to what can be done about that, if anything.

American Nightmare by Hassan Abdulrazzak came across to me as being set in a future generation, where the tables have turned and the good old United States finds itself on the backburner on the international stage. Sheik Nabil (Khalid Laith) recalls the father of Senator Ryan O’Reilly (Keir Carroll) calling his fellow countrymen “primitive”, amongst other derogatory terms, but now the Sheik and his colleagues have developed a piece of innovative technology that can help resolve a looming environmental catastrophe in the States, brought about by climate change. The Americans want it. But the Sheik won’t sign off the paperwork without first carrying out due diligence. What that due diligence is not what Ryan was expecting. At all. More fool him.

Hilda, written by and starring Carrie Cohen, is, depending on your disposition, one of those loveable pillars of the community who can be relied on whenever something needs sorting or somebody needs a listening ear. Otherwise, she’s a highly irritating town gossip who, frankly, should just go away. I wasn’t entirely sure where this play was going, as it rambles a lot with lots of description about who said what to whom. To be fair, she holds back from revealing absolutely everything she knows, saying some things are “a little too personal”. All the same, there’s some very amusing and witty observational comedy from a character that is plainly one of life’s great observers.

Octopus by Afsaneh Gray imagines life after a ‘hard Brexit’, in which anyone (irrespective of whether they are from a European Union member state) not considered ‘British’ according to set down criteria must undergo an interview with the Home Office to determine whether they do indeed have sufficient grounds to stay in the United Kingdom. Sarah (Samara MacLaren) chats away while Sara (Alexandra D’Sa) pays little attention until she is forced to respond to the incessant presumptions made by Sarah. It wasn’t offensive, but it was boring, listening to prejudiced remarks, and it is only when Scheherazade (Dilek Rose) joins the pair that the play perks up with some cutting remarks about the absurdity of the situation.

Carousel by Tom Collinson comes across from one of those plays from a bygone generation, or at least set in one. That doesn’t stop it from being innovative and clever. A disease is permeating modern society, and a local doctor (Chris Adlington) is determined to discover what’s going on. Symptoms include anxiety and depression, coupled with whining fatalism. The doctor lists scientific terms at a breakneck pace quite impressively, before concluding that existing medications are ineffective. He has, at least, established a cause, based on weeks of observing behaviour at the Wood Green branch of supermarket chain Morrisons. It’s as laughable as it sounds, but the play is an attack on mainstream media, having identified a direct correlation between the consumption of the content of newspapers and magazines with a negative mental attitude. Some, the doctor further observed, went to the checkout “to buy more cancer”, that is, purchase cigarettes. A highly thought-provoking play, even if I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Adlington, dressed in character in winter clothes on such a balmy June evening.

The Fox by Suzy Gill is a compelling monologue that comes across as a stream of consciousness, or at least someone who has so many thoughts and is trying to speak them all out unscripted, quite a difficult thing (I should imagine) to achieve. It begins with frivolity but gets increasingly darker. Rebecca (Evie Killip), still at school (the uniform being a giveaway), describes her relationship with her mother, which changes suddenly due to a critical incident. All of a sudden the carer must be cared for. But sometimes it takes a life-changing event to make people sit back and take stock, and there can never be enough reminders to retain a sense of perspective when it comes to what’s important in life.

A River Seen from a Hill by Mark Lindow, presumably named after the famed Turner painting, is one of those dark comedies with a tinge of absurdity. Jonathan Hansler and Clive Greenwood play characters known only as #1 and #2, who must deal with the fall-out from a prolonged drought. A lot of ivory tower blue sky thinking and brainstorming goes on, and while the narrative seems far-fetched, the company’s proposed response to the play’s events is quite feasible. Alarmingly so, in fact. 

A very broad evening (if an eight-show week can be exhausting, try an eight-show night in hot and sticky weather) but an enjoyable one nonetheless.

Review by Chris Omaweng

http://ift.tt/2rZEmy3 LondonTheatre1.com

[alhorner]

Zayn’s R&B pop machine is too big to fail

There’s a cop pacing the pavement outside Tribeca’s iHeartRadio theatre, barking into a walkie talkie. The ground beneath him is lit up like a colouring book in bright red and yellow chalk, and he looks unsure what to do about the teenage girls continuing to etch odes and illustrations into the sidewalk further down the block. “We’re proud of you Zayn!” is the recurring message: Zayn being, of course, Zayn Malik, the former boy band superstar currently inside the downtown venue preparing for his first ever solo live show and album release party.

“About 40 of them have been here over night,” a venue worker tells me, nodding towards the shrieking queue as show-time nears. 23-year-old Zayn quit talent show conquerers One Direction on this day 12 months ago in search of a new career as an R&B sophisticate; swapping breezy PG pop and mountains of merchandise including officially-branded 1D children’s duvet sets for tracks about his life between the sheets, steeped in sex and haze and produced by Frank Ocean collaborator Malay. As the doors tonight open and a screaming stampede into the theatre ensues, it’s clear that though Malik may be done with the hysteria of his former life (“I want to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax,“ he said upon leaving One Direction) the hysteria of his former life is not yet done with him.

This was the scene a fortnight ago as ZAYN – as he’s now singularly known – made another step in a not-easy transformation from reality TV talent show graduate to “credible” crooner, in the mould of stars he grew up adoring in his Bradford home: Donnell Jones, R Kelly and others similar. How that transition is going depends on who you ask. His army of fans – many of whom turned up without tickets to his debut show, happy simply to press their ears against the walls of the building to hear the rumbles of his soundcheck, parents waiting patiently in their cars – will point to his simultaneous number one spots on the UK album chart and Billboard 200. ZAYN’s the first British male solo artist to have an album debut at number one Stateside, they’ll remind you too.

Cynics however will suggest the reported 23k copies sold in the UK and 112k in the US of debut album Mind Of Mine probably didn’t exactly have champagne flutes clanging together in celebration at his Sony record label headquarters, given the massive sense of expectation around the record. The press campaign had all bases covered. No doubt lusting after the same crossover success enjoyed last year by Justin Bieber, whose Purpose album simultaneously straddled young pop fan markets and an older demographic in a moment of what you might call peak poptimism, ZAYN preceded Mind Of Mine with select exclusive comeback features with “grown-up” press like The Fader and NME. The campaign was shot almost exclusively by Nabil, the art director who’s had a hand in the recent aesthetics of Lana Del Rey, FKA twigs and indeed what sound on Mind Of Mine like ZAYN’s two beacon modern musical inspirations: Frank Ocean and The Weeknd.

But critics to a degree shrugged. Bogged down with “tepid” ballads, said Rolling Stone. Unable to shake himself of “years making mercenary pop,” wrote the New York Times. “A definitive step away from One Direction towards nowhere in particular,” argued Pitchfork. The overall feeling among reviewers seemed to be that Mind Of Mine has a marathon 18-track run-time in which to say something but ultimately came up mute.

All of which misses the main merits of the record. For a start, its songs are cleverer than many have given credit, zipping from Autre Ne Veut electronic melancholy (the Kehlani-featuring ‘Wrong’) to amorphous, elegiac soul on ‘Blue’ and genuinely heart-bruising gospel on single ‘It’s You’, a ‘Bad Religion’-like ballad lined with organs that tremble like bottom lips in a break-up.

But as importantly: the modern pop album has become a beast increasingly burdened by context, constantly carrying and negotiating the baggage of that singer’s celebrity. From Taylor Swift’s dissection of her man-eater tabloid image on 1989 to Justin Bieber’s pleas for redemption after his many public spirals on Purpose (whose big single, just to hammer it home, was called ‘Sorry’), pop has been in something of a feedback loop of late: artists’ public images bleeding into their music, their music bleeding into their public image.

Mind Of Mine, like the Donnell Jones and R Kelly R&B classics it looks to ape, is in stark contrast almost defiantly blank: simple songs of love and lust (especially lust) devoid of meta bullshit. Where fans might have braced themselves, or even longed for, shade thrown at his former One Direction band mates, or nods to his model girlfriend Gigi Hadid, Malik steers clear of navel-gazing dissections of his own media narrative. Like Frank Ocean, the man whose Channel Orange he looked to emulate on Mind Of Mine (“obviously it was that album that made me want to work with Malay,” he told me when we met in March), ZAYN’s solo debut finds itself instead listlessly searching for meaning and feeling amid evenings and early mornings numbed by drugs and privilege. On Ocean’s ‘Sweet Life’, it was under the cooling gush of a fancy bathroom shower head. On ZAYN’s ‘Lucozade’, it’s between sips of energy drinks and hits on a blunt, too stoned to do anything about the paranoia creeping in. “I’m trying to fucking scream but the words won’t come out,” he repeats.

The band with which Malik made his name are arguably the biggest British pop cultural export since Harry Potter, and there’s interestingly a sense of a similar approach to JK Rowling’s book in the 23-year-old singer’s first solo steps. Rather than a clean break from the bubblegum sheen of his old band, Mind Of Mine retains a sizeable deal of ZAYN’s pop past, on tracks like ‘She’, interspersed between more experimental, darker, lustier moments such as ‘Flower’, an ambient acoustic amble sung in Hindustani Urdu. It’s a gradual evolution: as if young One Direction fans are being invited to grow with his sound, like how fans of the Harry Potter series grew with its progressively darker, more adult books.

“You don’t just want to dismiss or turn your back on that audience,” a member of his team confirms to me at the show at the iHeartRadio theatre. He plays just three songs – ‘Truth’, ‘It’s You’ and the clubby, Disclosure-lite ‘Like I Would’ – during which he’s barely able to register his delicate falsetto above the din of screams, before exiting the stage as sheepishly as he came on. ZAYN’s debut solo show has lasted all of fifteen minutes. His fans though don’t seem to care, and bound out as excitedly as they rushed in. Leaving behind a boy band is easy. Taking your old fans with you as you court new ones, that’s the tricky part. Malik, like the slow drift of the drugged R&B songs he’s growing towards, though, isn’t in a hurry. Whatever his sales figures, ZAYN is playing the long-game.

FACT, March 2016