#now im less embarrassed bc its just true but at the time i was like yeah its the guy w bad taste having goofy ass opinions again ksdfg

[joelletwo]

v what was. now i cant even remember the other series i had in the venn diagram loop with umineko and orv. and i was So Fucking Mad the further i got into dick and balls jokes show gintama and went shit i have to add it to the math its simply too relevant to ignore

[cinnabeat]

augh english version of tcf novel is going to release soon...............i know theyre gonna call him alver.......must prepare myself for the psychic damage

[riddlerosehearts]

HELLO it is the idia anon from like almost two months ago i think. idk if u remember bt i only just saw your response post bc i lowk forget i have tumblr sometimes (adhd so its out of sight out of mind). tbh i completely forgot about my own ask and i was scrolling thru the idiavil tag yet again when i saw your post and i was like "wow, me too anon." and then i realized it was me. IM TYPING THIS IN AN IDIA SHROUD JACKET BTW THE FIXATION HAS CONSUMEDME. i think abt twst so much. I HOPE U DO NOT MIND ME RAMBLING I WAS GOING TO GET TO AN ACTUALLY IMPORTANT THING.

I LOVED READING YORU HEADCANONS THEY GIVE ME LIFE. i have a tonn of idiavil hcs and au ideas but ive not rlly written any of them (band au that im mega obsessed with is collecting dust in my notes app. i just can't form coherent thoughts). i could soend hours talkign abt idiavil I LUOVE THEM.

ur mention of xenoblade chronicles and kingdom hearts rlly makes me want to play both of them... i know a bit about kh and i want to play it but i know nothing abt xenoblade chronicles... ANYWAYS THANK U FOR THE LOST. I THINK I MIGHTHAVE UNDIAGNOSED AUTISM o(≧▽≦)o

oh i do remember you!! i wish i could forget i had tumblr sometimes LOL, instead i'm way too active on here and keep making myself so busy with different creative projects on my blogs that i'll never have time to post everything i'd like to post. i love when people ramble in my inbox though so no worries!!

omg if you ever post any headcanons or fic about that band AU i would love to see 👀 i have so many ideas that i never do anything with because i'm not much of a writer but i too could talk about idiavil and my other twst ships for hours so i totally get that lol. here's another bonus idiavil HC for you: idia feels really embarrassed about saying affectionate things face to face so he sends vil cute texts disguised as game notifications. things like "congratulations! you've reached max affection with idia! ❤". he also sends vil love letters with roses attached... in animal crossing. and then he secretly hopes vil never finds the time to open up his game and read them because he thinks he might die of embarrassment, but unfortunately for him, vil does read them and he sends a letter back every single time.

and okay so. iirc i made a kingdom hearts reference in that post but just mentioned xenoblade in the tags because it's so much less popular/recognizable. but i was originally going to make a reference to xenoblade chronicles 1. i love the whole series and if you like lengthy JRPGs with unique combat and wild stories then you'd probably love it too! but i feel like idia would love XC1 in particular because a major theme of that game's story is that it's about fighting for the freedom to choose your own future. it's about spending your life feeling like you're powerless to change anything, and then allowing yourself to see that that isn't true--that if you keep looking forward and choose not to give up, you can create a world where you can shape your own destiny. you can go the distance. i think it's a story that would really resonate with idia. now, do i think he would see these themes as being applicable to his own life in a realistic way? absolutely not lol, at least not before the events of book 6, but he'd love the fantasy of it. he'd also relate to shulk--the main protagonist of the game--partly for spoilery reasons and partly because shulk is a fucking nerd who resents having to go outside and would rather spend all day in his research lab working with machines. and now i've rambled on about a game you haven't played lol, but if it isn't obvious by now i highly recommend it! and kingdom hearts is my favorite game series of all time so i highly recommend it as well. fun fact: idia's voice actor, kouki uchiyama, also voices roxas in the japanese version of KH!

[brandogenius]

eating up the content as per usual ‼️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 i'm so excited ur getting into muna i got into them a few months ago and they're just so chaotic and funny, id say another way to get good insight in their personalities and speech patterns and whatnot is by listening to gayotic (their podcast!) i literally listen to gayotic to fall asleep sometimes LMFAOAO

okay now time for my thoughts on more barista!reader x jb:

question, what do you think the drink actually is that jb orders? like, in my opinion, i feel like its just one of those really popular sweet ice coffees that most people like but its bc they don't actually like coffee and julien is like about to eat a spoonful of salt to cut the sweetness bc how dare she not drink every drop of this ice coffee her pretty gorgeous cool amazing barista girl crush made for her

THE ANGST i love, that's so something that i would do ngl, i can imagine julien being like gutted that reader would think they were coming off weird and stopped doodling on her cup and reader like blushing and smiling at her reaction

speaking of angst can you imagine the dramatics of when reader finds out that jb doesn't actually like her order...in my mind it's not even something reader loves it's just popular and they overhears phoebe or lucy with julien making fun of her getting a drink she doesn't even like and reader doesn't mention it until like a week later because they've been analyzing jb getting her drink

im picturing julien coming in and being like "same as usual ☺️" and reader is like "are you sure?" and julien is confused like "uhh yeah i always get that wdym hahah" and reader explains what she overheard and julien is internally panicking like 'okay this is it she found out and she's gonna hate me and think im a pathological liar'

omg what if from then on reader makes her something new EVERY time until jb finds something that she really likes

julien coming in during a rush and reader frantically ranting to her about how stressed they are but julien is sitting there listening to them like this 😍 and reader can't help but notice and then they're like "sorry i didn't mean to ramble on like that..." and all embarrassed

one last thought, julien coming in and getting her drink but then sitting on the couch or window seat and reading a book or doing work on her laptop and reader is checking on her every 0.5 seconds and they keep making accidental eye contact and smiling but neither will actually talk to each other (classic wlw yearning from afar)

OKAY rant over 😊😊

-🪷

tysm :D i’m definitely getting into muna!! funny enough i’ve gotten a few asks but i’m waiting to get more into them before i write them up!!

i’ve been watching their gayotic podcasts, i started by watching lucy’s then julien’s and lemme tell you i love it. i’m someone who loves to take note of speech patterns and how people word things so it was interesting to learn more about them individually

as for barista! reader

hmmm. i feel like jb isn’t someone to order overly sweet things. like say fraps or something. black coffee or something 😭 a little bit of sugar like maybe a teaspoon is fine but overly sickening sweet nooo. she takes it though and doesn’t complain because at the end of the day reader made it and there was cute doodles on it and she doesn’t want to be like “aha hey… so i don’t actually like this”

she either chugs it down or splits it in half with one of the boys so she has less to drink. she wouldn’t put your hard work down the drain

reader finding out jb doesn’t even like the orders they make and they are like “YOU COULDVE TOLD ME”AND JBS LJKE “that’s true”

omg reader handing jb a new cup everydsy like “so this is peach ice tea” and the next day it’s like “so this is matcha tea” and maybe julien’s just extremely picky on her drinks but she’s yet to find something she likes

reader literally watching julien sit down and write lyrics or type away at her laptop and they make eye contact every so often but both are too scared to say anything so queue reader coming over with a slice of chocolate cake like “here you go” and jbs like “oh i didn’t offer it” and readers like “it’s on the house” and jbs like “oh.. thank you-“ and you stick your hand out like “i’m [name]” and she’s like “julien. i can’t believe we didn’t ask for each others names yet”

[yuukei-yikes]

im extremely kidomomopilled right now.

momo is the first person outside of kido's family to see their burn scars. and she's glad kido was able to share something like this with her and helps them be less insecure about them, to the point where kido can now wear short sleeve shirts/sleeveless shirts around the rest of the dan.

adult!kidomomo time. momo is sooo the type of person to drop their kid off at school and be shout "HAVE A NICE DAY ILY" out the window and hibiya tries to act like he does Not know this lady. thankfully after the first 3 times kido would just conceal the car so neither hibiya or the other kids around him hear momo. god bless.

YES🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 comfortable kido *bows bows bows*

also u said kid and i was like KIDOMOMO KAGEKID⁉️ then it was just hibiya and i was like. oh. yeah. yeah. true

momo is those tiktoks that are like picking up my little brother at school🔥 and kesha is playing LOUDLY while a rly embarrassed kid gets in the car. thats momo and hibiya

momo wouldnt NEED to take or pick up hibiya from school bc he can manage himself. but she INSISTS. "we barely get to hang out anymore!!!" she says.... "this is our quality time of the day!!!!!"

hibiyas like this is so stupid we live together we dont need to HANG OUT or HAVE QUALITY TIME. we're always together at home!!!! <- idiot boy. he says that but he also likes these rides with momo bc he does miss her its just that hes like 16 or something and has friends his age he hangs out with AND he's probably very busy studying a lot since a Big condition his parents allow him to move to kashiwa with kidomomo is if he keeps EXCELLENT grades...

also what if hibiya Can manage himself very well in the city bc he's basically got the map memorized cuz of the timeloop (hc from this fanfic though from hiyori's pov go read it if u can stomach the tags its sooooo good)(but also very angsty nothing like what were talking abt here LOL) but he's still not super into navigating it by himself. even if he's lived there for a while he's still rly uneasy walking around so many ppl and shops. i think hiyori manages better by herself than he does so hibiya isnt entirely against momo coming everywhere

sorry i made it all abt hibiya and momo but u were brainrotting abt kidomomo. kido concealing THE WHOLE CAR is so funny but i guess they could do that huh anyways kidomomo should kiss like a tiny little mwack in front of hibiya and hibiya cringes and acts like its the end of the world and he needs to move out immediately

[terrakal]

I cried. I want to cry? I feel bad, my heart aches, i feel nauseous, its like a hole in my heart, its night so probably thats why or maybe its because i had all morning only anger feeding me and stubbornness which eats me away real quickly so i mostly calm down as the midday resumes but as soon as i laid down i realised it, but i watched my hole away, and yet the hole rested still and only grew as i kept going about my evening, and eventually when i looked at the clock. Knowing he’d be done with work. Its like the hope i cherish so badly crumbled and i just wanted to cry.

I wanted to cry?!

How did i get to a point, a feeling, a physical pain, that i wanted to cry about a damn man?!

Is it pathetic, is it part of life, is it what had been warned for and yes its a true thing.

How does this- i truly thought after what 3,75 months i’d feel nothing when he would go away but it hurts. I feel truly feel something for him? And right as i typed that i can feel tears and my heart pain even more i am flabbergasted.

And the wordt thing is i always kept telling myself that i didint feel/love anything remotely close to such things so i wouldnt feel pain, like this, because i love and hope so much i think so much so i know it hits me like a truck.

The amount of times i checked my phone…

And then the other part, my overthinking. It’s gotten to a point that i went from, he is probably mad at me, to he is talking to someone else, he doesn’t find me pretty enough, he sets me aside so he can not feel guilty when he goes out alone on vacation.

All because i dont know the truth on why this is happening right now. Yes. Yes i deleted messages (out of lots of embarrassment and frustration since i have to cut back on saying sorry 24/7) i annoyed him, i annoy lots of people i realize. I didint know it was a love language of mine i thought id rather pleased people more. But wow have i become annoying. And it pushes them away first f now n its genuinely my fault and it breaks my heart omfg im crying

He did sent a snap but im sure its the universal type, bcs if he truly wanted to contact me he would’ve apped me.. and i cant app him because its not my place, i should let him have his anger in peace, and ill wait for him and if he doesn’t return i know enough (another lady a push for guilt away im sure) or its ego… but i dont want to think of such things

Genuinely this is something i never thought would happen to me im just- lost.

Did i truly make this happen by saying such stupid things and deleting a- i mean he left me on read on tt…

Im yeah.. im glad i can cry it out now.

So i can move on tomorrow and if not tomorrow then the days after, and i will hold on because i know, i know its gonna be easier and ill feel less, and ill be happier. Disappointed but happier.

Bcs truly i have been slipping away and yes it eats now since i feel like the cause, omg i feel like im spinning. But but im sure that it had been longer and i kept making excuses but now i really cant.

—we’ll see how long i can take

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[maschotch]

the henry growing up problems please 👀

aldhkshd ok this is definitely 100% made up and based purely on my interpretation of the jareau family since we get very little on how jj actually is as a parent (and even less on her kids’ personalities). so dont take it too seriously

to me henry seemed so.. quiet. to be fair he’s like three the first time we meet him aldhsk but im gonna go ahead and interpret his demeanor the few times we see him as a mild temperament. kind of like will, but will’s comes from consideration and courtesy while henry’s comes from having a very clear and simple path laid out for him with no options available

i think what im actually basing a lot of this on is jj’s relationship with her own mom. its such a strained relationship. her mom can barely get out a sentence without jj rolling her eyes and jj seems hypersensitive to her mother’s criticism. this is undoubtedly because she was likely criticized constantly as a child—constantly under scrutiny by a prideful, humiliated family under scrutiny by a “tight-knit” (invasive), traditionalist town. sucks to say it lol but the jareau family was probably judged a lot by her sister’s suicide: a dark stain on the reputation of the family. and with a mother who would rather pretend nothing happened for the sake of their image instead of putting jj’s needs first… not only did her family shove aside this devastating event, they placed all expectations of their family’s success on their remaining daughter’s shoulders. it was jj’s duty to make up for the embarrassment of her sister that she wasnt even able to mourn

when someone grows up under such omnipresent, overwhelming pressure, it can sometimes lead to them applying similar pressure to their own children as a way to prepare them for the world of their own childhood rather than the world their child is currently experiencing. that combined with jj’s pride in being a mother (prioritizing a pride in the position it gives her over actually mothering her children) creates a certain ~energy… it doesnt feel right to just say she’s assertive and leave it at that: it doesnt fully encompass the actual situation. she’s making up for all the freedom she lacked by decisively doing things her way now, not realizing that its placing a similar barrier on her own children. we know she’s repeating the same mistakes her mother made through the way jj talks (more aptly put: doesnt talk) to henry about rosaline

from the few interactions we see of will and jj as parents, its clear that jj has the final word. she feels entitled to make decisions concerning their family, and resists any kind of correction or suggestion. i feel like jj would be the kind of mom whose love feels like a cage: henry can sense the boundaries established by a mother he’s never seen challenged. i really do believe that jj wants to do whats best for her child, but her view is so cut and dry that her devotion to her child twists into defense of her parenting skills. while she has henry’s best intrest in mind, she’d only looking at it from her own perspective by only considering what happened in her own childhood

i think its almost worse for henry that all of this is done out of love, bc theres no way to argue against that. “im doing this because i love you” “i just want you to be happy” “i want whats best for you” are all seemingly loving sentiments that sours any attempt of contradiction. henry seems too sweet to further challenge his mother, so i think henry gives up defying her by the time he’s a teenager. even if he’s hurting, even if he cant do what he wants, even if the constraints feel like a noose around his neck, “mother knows best.” “be true to yourself, but only within the realm of what i find acceptable”

between his mother’s unyielding resolve and his father relenting, its unlikely henry grew up with much of a backbone. he has no confidence in himself as an individual: everything has been dictated by his mother, who’s been forever unopposed in his mind. she’s like a next level helicopter mom: her hovering presence is always felt and he always remains in his mother’s shadow. he has no hope to see beyond the barriers his mom has constructed bc the concept of confronting her has never been a possibility in his life—whether its him, his father, or anyone else for that matter. jj gets her way no matter what.

im uncertain on how self aware jj is about this constant conflict within her. assuming she truly wants whats best for her child, at some points she must realize that what she’s doing isnt healthy either. i just dont think the jj we see in the show is capable of acknowledging such a huge mistake. i think she’d double down on it instead of changing her ways, refusing to acknowledge any harm she may be causing despite knowing the truth. it would take a long time, and a LOT of introspection, for her to actually acquiesce

it would probably take a lot of work to undo that submissive mindset thats been instilled in henry his whole life. i think if he was an only child he’d probably stay in his mother’s grip, unwilling to hurt someone he knows genuinely cares about him. “its not worth it,” he may think, “what i want doesnt matter.”

im not sure why i think things go differently from michael. maybe bc little brothers, so im told, like to act like little shits. but between the two children i think he’s far more likely to butt heads w their mother. instead of accepting his mother’s limitations as just the way the world is—the way henry does—michael would get fed up with the constant handle jj has on every aspect of his life, rebelling against his mother’s control. i think it’d definitely be amplified once he’s a teenager, and i think the persistent fighting would lead jj to reflect on herself in a way henry’s obedience wouldnt. she’ll realize how much she’s become like her mom and learn to do what she wished her mother had done when she was a kid: listen

again this is all just speculation. i feel like jj would be a very domineering mother, even if it comes from a good place. will doesnt know how to stand up to her and his easygoing nature means he doesnt really mind letting her have complete control of the reins. but choosing that environment and growing up in that environment are two very different things, and i think henry would suffer for it

[starglitterz]

Hiii~ I'm flying to your place as soon as I heard about your 300 followers event. I hope you are having a wonderful time doing the drabble requests :) Pls take care of your health and drink a lot of water~ For the drabble event, can I have chocolate confection (aether) , and with extra biscuits. Haha, to add up the spice, can you make the reader clothes becomes see-through because of the rain pretty pls? I want to see blushing aether 😘 Thank you and here is my dump of love for you 💖💖💖

hii !!!!! LOL im glad ur excited to request :))) also omg i am actually, filling out requests is a lot less time-consuming since its one character per post :D i willlll take care tho, ty for the concern <3 HAHAHA thank u for all the love as well, back at u !!

request; aether fluff, together in the rain, reader's clothes become translucent bc of the rain

please reblog ! it helps a lot :)

( @clarissalance )

aether.

"y/n, come on! it's raining, shouldn't you be inside?" aether's concerned voice rings out as you laugh, spinning around in a circle until you're dizzy enough to flop onto the ground. "are you okay?!" your boyfriend panics, rushing over to you with paimon floating closely behind him. "yup!" you smile up at him joyfully, admiring how the raindrops collect on his eyelashes and make them shimmer, and enjoying the feel of the wet grass cooling you down. "ahhh, rain really is amazing after how hot liyue summers are," you stretch like a cat and reply. aether plops onto the grass next to you, "that's true for sure." "yeah! liyue's summer climate really isn't paimon-friendly," paimon chirps, doing a little flip in the air. she sticks her tongue out to taste the rain before spitting in disgust, prompting both of you to laugh, "ew! maybe the rain isn't either..."

you pull yourself up into a sitting position, and let aether lie in your lap while your hands run through his blonde hair. for him, the gesture has always been intimate and loving, filling him with warmth and reminding him how lucky he is to have you. his eyes slide shut as he relaxes into your touch, entirely tranquil, at least until paimon slaps him. "what was that for!?" his eyes snap open in surprise, a tiny red hand-print forming on the side of his face. paimon shrugs, "there was a bug!" aether groans, "you could have just told me!" "i was trying to help!" "whatever, floating child." "stop copying albedo!" you merely giggle at their interactions, which never fail to be hilarious.

aether's gaze travels upwards to meet yours, but suddenly he stands up quickly and stumbles away, a red blush darkening his cheeks. "aether...?" you tilt your head and ask quizzically, while noting how the rain still falls gently, dripping down your face and soaking your skin. "ah... uh, how do i say this?" your boyfriend rubs the back of his neck, unable to make eye contact with you, "ummmm...." paimon floats over to you and chuckles, whispering, "psst! y/n, i think it's your clothes." "my clothes?" you're very confused, at least until you look down at yourself and realise that your shirt has plastered against your skin, and the raindrops have drenched it so much it's become translucent.

seizing the opportunity to tease your easily flustered boyfriend, you move towards him and ask, "aether, what's wrong?" "ah! um, your shirt..." he still can't look at you for fear of embarrassment and he's clenching his hands into fists to prevent himself from hiding his face with them. "what's up with my shirt?" you intertwine your hands behind you, attempting to look innocent. aether's golden eyes dart to you for a second, "it's... kinda see-through." "is that a problem?" you raise your eyebrow in mock suspicion. "no! i'm just saying," he mutters, the tips of his ears beginning to burn.

"i'm just messing with you," you laugh and take pity on him, "sorry." aether pouts and crosses his arms, "hmph. now can we go home?" "wait, why?" aether swallows down his nervousness and presses a heated kiss against your lips, "i just... don't want anyone else to see you like this." your brain malfunctions upon seeing the mildly possessive side of aether, and now it's his turn to chuckle at your stunned expression. intertwining his hands with yours, aether beams, "let's go!" smiling at how the tables have turned, you nod, "yeah!"

quill speaks !

my first time writing for aether ajkdkjsd

i hope you liked this <3 !! it was so fun to imagine aether freaking out LOL

fyi this is a queued hiatus post !!

anyways besties

i hope you enjoy your stay at quill’s dessert cafe, and do check out the menu if you'd like ! 🍭

© starglitterz 2021. do not repost or modify in any way.

[twow]

okay guys i am officially done with my first real week of law school so here's law school update #2!! tbh its been a really fun time! people here are so nice, ive been to the bars the last couple of nights and out of the 6 drinks i've had 5 of them have been bought for me by guys in the law school section LMAO. i didn't go out at all in undergrad so its been a nice change of pace! school is a bit overwhleming and i feel a bit lost but i am kind of getting the hang of it? we'll have to see how next week goes. the rest is under the cut bc i got kind of ramble-y and its long!

okay so for my friend group i simultaneously feel more ingrained in the group and like an outsider. i really love them and we've all gone out together a lot but i cant shake the feeling that's there's an inner circle i'm not a part of idk. i know its probably just insecurity and high school trauma and also the unshakeable feeling that i am unknowable and cannot and should not be my true self around people (with the exception of my irl besties from undergrad ofc). i am hoping that horrible feeling passes and i honestly just can't wait to get out of the beginning parts of the friendship and into the part where i actually feel like i know these people well. esp with this handful of girls I've been getting close to! but yeah ngl i am feeling a bit mixed right now since there's a lot of guys in our group and I've never really had guy friends? there's this sort of ugly feeling like im less important to them bc im not hot like the rest of the girls in the group which is :/// we also sort of had some drama last night so i guess what everyone said about law school being like high school is true LMAOO anyway we are going to the beach today so hopefully things will work itself out.

i also feel like i really embarrassed myself the last couple of nights while drunk. everyone has reassured me that i didn't but still i really really hate the feeling of not remembering exactly what i did/said. shoutout to the girlies and also my friend scott for making me feel a lot better about it <3 anyway in general my mood is very "is everyone hanging out without me?" and "do people secretly dislike me and don't really care about me?" even tho i have evidence to the contrary. mental illness.

edit: okay I've thought about it and the best way to concisely articulate how i feel is that i feel like an afterthought. like ill be invited to places and people will talk to me/hang out with me but i am never the first one on people's mind nor do people really care if i do/do not come. and when im chatting its more like "oh i guess ill talk to her" and im initiating a lot rather than people coming up to me and really wanting to talk to me. and that's fine i guess it just a bit hurtful esp when you see others who do get actually approached for convos and have people upset when they don't come places.

i am also realizing that this post was pretty negative but i AM having a good time and i DO like my friends. I'm just sick of the beginning part i love having really good friends that I'm super close to and i don't really have that yet. its been super fun tho esp at bar trivia and all of my theme park visits

okay update over, thanks for listening to my rambling guys! it really helps me to write all of my feelings out even if no one really cares. that is what a blog is for i guess! also if i know you in real life and you reading this No You Did Not lol

[the-stray-liger]

when your current art looks shitty compared to what you used to do that's when you know your getting better at it

ive got an old sketch on my wall from middle school of Typical Not Self-Insert Character In Cool Armor With Giant Sword. It's incredible. How did I do that. I can't draw like that now.

but I can SEE this old picture, despite the embarrassment around it's actual subject, is actually good. When I first hung it up way back when it was just because I wished I had a sword. Now I look at the confident lines, the shading, the grasp of depth perception on so many angular objects, the way the cloth of the cape falls in folds that have weight to them. I can recognize what makes it a nice drawing. I couldn't do that before.

there's this thing i read about once where people who are getting better at a skill go through this cycle of This Is Impossible to WOW I'M SO GREAT AT THIS to I Have Lost The Ability To Preform Even The Most Basic Part Of This And Should Fire Myself Forever

and then slowly they realize they can kinda do it again. Hey, they can even do that one thing they've never been able to do before!

rinse, recycle, repeat. Every year I go through it. Depression doesn't help. For a few years I didn't draw anything at all and almost burned all my old sketches. Now I'm doodling ducktale characters and making fat circular birds with twig legs.

I aged out of school and have never had a job (thank you family for not letting me starve) and my whole damn life people have been asking me why I don't sell my drawings.

because I can't draw, I tell them, staring at the things I made two years ago and couldn't replicate now if someone put gun to my head.

but sometimes, for a few months, I can. I can sit down and have an idea and make it happen. Sometimes the idea is a favorite character. Sometimes its just a random pattern of flowers. Every time it happens I'm scared it'll be the last time.

Then I remind myself of all the other people who go though some version of this stupid cycle. If you like drawing, you'll probably draw again someday- maybe not in the same style as you used to- but if it makes you happy you'll do it for the happy feelings, and if you draw you'll get better at it, and as you get better you'll learn to see all the flaws, and you'll get discouraged, and that's normal.

I also remind myself of how other people always seem to like the drawings I'm least happy with, and pass over the ones I'm actually proud of. People have different taste. Everyone else's sucks compared to mine, for example, which a completely true and unbiased fact (lol).

Right now I can draw because I never show any of my drawings to anyone. They're for me. Mine. And the voice in the back of my head chattering about wasting time and being a useless burden can go stuff itself.

Yesterday I drew a cartoon duck. It sucks. I had a lot of fun WHILE making it though. And the duck looks a lot better than it did when I first drew one a week ago. Practice makes progress. Talent is bullshit. Skills are learned and maintained.

so my advice is draw something badly and giggle while you do.

Hey anon! You're absolutely right. I remember back when I was drawing fulll time going thru a couple art blocks where everything I made looked awful bc I was learning to look at it with more critical eyes and my hands hadn't caught up yet. I feel like that's a big part of my burnout too-I suddenly learned a lot of theory and I had come to a point where I hadn't developped the skills to match and it destroyed a lot of my confidence and self esteem

It's also that at the end of the day I forgot who I was drawing for bc I was so obsessed with social media recognition and with algorithms and stuff the harder I worked the less notifications I got

And I generally have a HUGE problem with guilt and feeling like a burden too like I feel you 600% on that lol I always felt terrible bc I couldn't make a living out of my art

I think Im gonna work again on making art that's only for me and drawing things I enjoy even if it's not like the best quality or quantity. I'm gonna take it slow (even if it drives me up the wall) and have fun again!

Thank you so much for the kind word and advice!!

[ickle-ronniekins]

duet | see you soon then

DUET MASTERLIST

NOTE FOR ALL READERS: this is an installment of a series. the masterlist for a catch-up is linked above. this particular chapter is to fall between [im]mature and silky smooth. thanks!

desc: things had been a bit rocky when the twins told you they were leaving hogwarts before graduation. you’d been so hellbent and obsessed on spending time with george that you’d sort of neglected fred. emotions are running high, but the three of you fall into a comfortable routine and suddenly you’re bursting at the seams with happiness. but since it’s finally time for them to leave, you have absolutely no luck in trying to suppress your tears. they’re making their dreams come true, so why is it so damn hard to say goodbye right now?

a/n: yo! sorry its been a while. school has been kicking my ass and also I genuinely had no inspiration to write this chapter. it was actually supposed to look a little different which is what I think was evidently holding me back. but leeann’s the best and has been incredibly patient with me as I worked through my writer’s block and we bounced ideas off of one another. i..... am so sorry for this. full masterlist is linked above, loves.

word count: 3.4k

warning(s): just sadness bc boys are leaving :(

Things had been… tense, to say the least. Your arguments with both of your best mates had caused quite a bit of discomfort between you all. And not to mention that the Easter holidays were rapidly approaching, which only seemed to speed up the pounding in your chest.

You’d been making progress, though, coming around to the idea of finishing school without them. What an incredible opportunity this was for them, wasn’t it? While your feelings of dread and sadness were still very much prominent, you couldn’t help but be bursting at the seams with pride, too.

They were damn brilliant individuals and it was about time more people recognized that, right?

It still didn’t lessen the pain in your heart, though. It only seemed to elevate it. But you supposed, you’d only learn to grow from it.

The three of you had fallen into a somewhat comfortable routine. Spending lots of time with one another -- you’d also been very conscious about how much time you spent chasing after George. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself any further than you already had. Plus, you’d sadly forgotten how lovely it was to be with just Fred -- he was your absolute best mate, after all, and while yes, there had been times when the two of you had very angrily bumped heads, it only made your friendship that much stronger. You owed it to him. You owed it to yourself.

And you’d taken to spending more time with the Gryffindors too, when that ghastly toad look-a-like of a woman wasn’t around. What she didn’t know wouldn’t kill her. They were your friends, too, after all -- Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Neville -- the lot of them. And by the light of the common room fire reflecting in Fred’s eyes, and the very bright grin George had painted onto his face nearly every evening, you were pretty certain they were genuinely happy to have you there.

“What’s this one?”

“Ah -- an extension of our latest and greatest inventions, Y/N,” Fred beamed, examining his own creation as he twirled it in his fingers, “Wildfire Whizbangs.”

“You mean you’ve created something even bigger than those blasted fireworks you’d let loose in the courtyard a few weeks ago?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re about to set the bloody Great Hall on fire -- I’ve got exams coming up, you know.”

George laughed and pulled out yet another wildly vibrant colored whizbang from their trunk. “Can’t make any promises.”

You’d been spending so much time in their common room, in fact, that people had just ended up making you an honorary Gryffindor. You did miss yours, though -- the warmth hues of the yellow lining, the cozy armchairs near the fire with books next to it stacked so high they touched the ceiling, the tiny, potted plants on the windowsill. You were placed in Hufflepuff after all, so it was only normal that you’d miss the coziness of your own spot.

You couldn’t help it, though. You found yourself with your friends until the late hours of the evening, and sometimes you’d ever crash in the girls’ dormitory in Gryffindor tower because it was far too late to even attempt to sneak back down to your own common room, and the boys didn’t want you to risk getting into some type of trouble. Who’d have thought? The Kings of Mischief, worried about you getting into trouble. The irony was wonderfully funny.

You’d even found yourself working less and less on your assignments, just to spend time with them. It was, truthfully, the closest the three of you had been since you’d met. Absolutely nothing could squash your happiness.

Until you realized one evening when you were pulling on your silk pyjamas and thinking about how good things had been, that you had exactly one week left with them. One week. Seven days. Most of which would be spent studying for exams.

Some type of knot shot up into your throat and you found that your eyes had begun to water more so than normal. Sometimes, you couldn’t quite believe the effect this was having on you.

And so you swallowed down your feelings and forced yourself to sleep, hoping that the next day, you wouldn’t think about the limited time you had left with them before they fled school, but only about just how much you enjoyed your time with them.

-- -

“Please don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry, and I’m a bloody ugly crier.”

You knew that Fred was doing his best to make you laugh. He always had a particular knack for making you burst out into giggles at the most inappropriate of times. But even so, the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the lopsided grin on his face couldn’t make you laugh. Not this time.

You’d sort of distanced yourself this last week. Not purposefully, mind you, but because there was studying to be done. You had exams, didn’t you? And the boys needed to pack all of their belongings for their adventure into adulthood. It sounded so silly when you thought about it. But it also sent a soul-crushing feeling straight through your body.

You hated crying in front of them. Sure, you were a bit dramatic at times, but you tried your absolute hardest not to break down in front of them if you could help it. But this was different, you reckoned. This was them leaving with a permanence that could not be undone. This was goodbye… for now.

“I -- I’m just --” your voice sounded raspy and weak, like someone was gripping your vocal cords and strangling them. You watched through blurred vision as Fred’s lower lip began to wobble, and he bit down on it to keep you from noticing. But you noticed. Of course you did. How could you not? You knitted your brows together to keep the tears from falling, but your emotions were far too high for anything to work. You searched desperately for the words that were filling up your heart, though were proving very difficult to leave your lips. “I’m.. I’m really…”

And Fred, who found himself sometimes turning to mush around you, let his shoulders collapse as tears welled up in his eyes, too. He couldn’t believe they were really doing this -- really leaving. Hogwarts had been their home away from home for so many years, and you, the second sister he didn’t know he needed.

When he spoke, his voice didn’t have the usual cheeky sound to it, that mischievous tone you grew to know and love so much. It was soft, and tired, and pleading with you to please not be angry. You could hear it in the way that he said, “I know,” before pulling you into his chest. He interwove his fingers in your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead before sucking in a breath. You tugged gently on the drawstring hanging from his sweatshirt. It was hard to stay mad at either of them. You forced your eyes shut and bit down hard on your bottom lip, causing you to suck in another breath due to the pain. You felt your heart snap perfectly in half when you heard his voice shake a bit. “I’m really going to miss you, too.”

That was one of the most intimate moments you’d ever shared with Fred, letting each other cry into one another’s shoulders. The vulnerability hanging in the air between you both was so intense, it almost didn’t seem real. But as quickly as this new side of Fred had appeared, it vanished when he pulled away from you and held onto your shoulders to steady you. He sniffled a bit and tried to nonchalantly wipe away a tear from his eye. “But you’re coming to visit, yeah? First thing after graduation?”

“Of course,” you playfully swatted him with the sleeve of your robe. “Have got to make sure you two don’t find yourselves in any mischief, right?”

Fred threw his head back and laughed. “Great thing about our shop is that mischief is more than welcomed, darling.”

You both continued to laugh through tears, until everything became still and silent between you both. You bit down on your bottom lip again and repeated the address back to him very slowly. “Number 93 Diagon Alley.”

“Number 93 Diagon Alley,” he echoed you. His grin was so large, you began to see traces of that thirteen-year-old boy you’d first met all those long years ago. He was so excited, wasn’t he? You felt a pull at your heart. And you were so excited for them. “I love you, kid. Don’t forget to write, and definitely don’t forget to study. Molly Weasley would be so disappointed.”

He pulled you in for another hug before making his way down the corridor. You folded your arms across your chest and raised an eyebrow. “You? The King of avoiding schoolwork at all costs is actually telling me to study?”

“What can I say?” Fred shrugged his shoulders. Your best mate. Your best mate in the entire world, known for his pranks and laughter and everything in between was pointing a finger at you and telling you to get a jump start on your school work, like he’d done a complete one-eighty. “You just bring out this side of me.”

“I love you, you absolute git.”

“I love you more.”

Your breathing intensified as he vanished down the corridor.

“Wow,” you heard a voice from behind you, “can’t believe you somehow got my brother to tell you to study. What has the world come too?”

When you whirled around to come face to face with George, his face was an exact carbon copy of Fred’s -- but his sparkling eyes and lopsided grin made your insides twist in a way that Fred’s didn’t. All you wanted to do was run up to your dorm and cry, thinking about the entirety of your schooling where you could’ve been wrapped up in his arms if he’d just felt the same way. But that wouldn’t help you in any way. You had to be thankful for what you had.

“It definitely won’t be the same with you two gone.”

You couldn’t help it -- the words escaped you before you could register your own thoughts. You could see George’s expression fill with guilt, something that had been happening more often than not, so you offered him a tremendous grin that split your face in half, despite the tears that were falling generously now. You stuck your hand out to pull him into you. “I hope you know how proud I am of you both.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, took your hand in his and walked toward you. He pulled you into a bone crushing embrace, one you’d definitely feel the effects of a few days from now. He cradled your head in his hand the exact same way Fred did, and also placed a kiss onto your hair, but the way your blood bubbled at his touch was so very different from the way you felt with your best friend.

“I just want to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For.. everything.” George’s voice was raspy. He pulled away from you but didn’t let go. He slid his hands across your shoulders and down your arms before intertwining his fingers with yours. He slowly caressed his thumbs over the tops of your hands as he chose his words carefully. “For being my best friend, for believing in this ridiculous idea, for dealing with my antics. For everything, all of it. I reckon Hogwarts would not have been the same had I not met you in Charms.”

“It was my favorite lesson, you know.”

“Mine, too.”

You forced yourself to continue to smile at him through your tears, because you didn’t want you blubbering like an idiot to be the last thing he’d see before leaving the castle. As if this entire exchange hadn’t been dramatic enough, you were really considering telling him how you felt -- right as he left. You could shout out I love you!, couldn’t you? It would be the perfect time, too, because he’d already be off and you could run up to your dormitory without worrying about having to face him or your own intense feelings! The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue --

“Save a pygmy puff for me, yeah?”

But those were the words that spoke instead.

George raised his eyebrows and held up a finger. “Oh! That reminds me. Have got something for you.” You threaded your eyebrows together in confusion as he reached into his pocket. He very gently pulled out a ribbon, the colour a perfect blend of purple and pink, same as the puffs, with sparkles dancing across it as if it were charmed. Which, knowing George, it probably was. He fiddled with it slightly in his hands before looking up to meet your gaze. “You’ve inspired us. Got a whole line of these things in the works. So I want you to do me a favour.”

Your voice was a whisper. You’d nearly forgotten how to formulate coherent sentences. “What?” you asked him.

He then took a very deep breath and reached out to move your hair. He gently placed the ribbon behind your ears and tied it into a small bow on the top of your head. “When you’re feeling poorly about your exams, or about finishing school, or about anything, because I know you will -- put this on. Think of us. And just remember that we’re only a letter away until graduation, alright?”

As he watched more tears well up in your eyes, he considered telling you the truth: that it had been him this whole time, sending you these letters and gifts. It’d been him since the beginning, he’d just been too afraid to tell you. He wet his lips and watched as you brought your fingers to the ribbon and touched it gently. He was going to do it, it was time. Probably a few years too late, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He was leaving in five bloody minutes, and he had to seize his chance, when the vulnerability was thick and the emotions were high and he wasn’t going to chicken out completely --

But just as he found his confidence, Fred softly called his name from round the bend before disappearing again. You threw your arms around the back of George’s neck and stood on the tips of your toes to hug him. There was no mistaking the sound of your wobbly voice in his ears -- you were crying fully now. “I’m going to miss you.”

If his emotions weren’t sky high, he would’ve noticed just how easily the tears came to the front of his eyes at your simple, five word phrase.

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

He wished it could be yesterday, or the day before. Or last month. Or last year. He wanted to be back in Charms in your third year. He wished he could go back in time, any amount of time, just to have more with you, because this couldn’t possibly be the end. It couldn’t be.

Through sniffles and sobs and the cracks in your voice, he swore he heard you say, “I love you.”

Fire shot through his veins, but bloody hell, he didn’t have time to unload all of that. Fred was calling his name again. “I love you, too.”

George pressed his lips to your hairline and stayed there like that for a few more seconds you wished could last a lifetime. You didn’t even bother trying to hide your tears anymore -- they were cascading down your cheeks, and violent sobs were involuntarily escaping from your overused lungs. Every single ounce of your body hurt due to all of the crying you’d been doing the last couple of days. It felt so stupid and so dramatic and so absolutely awful, because the truth was, it was only a couple of months until you saw them again. Until you saw him again. A few months was nothing.

But the idea of being here without them hurt more than you could begin to fathom.

When he pulled away, you noticed how red and blotchy his cheeks were alongside his bloodshot eyes, his messy hair. But you beamed at him again and squeezed his hand and said, “Congratulations,” and watched him as his fingers let go of yours and he walked toward the other end of the corridor.

“Hey,” you called, thinking of something. George spun around quickly and peered longingly at you. You just needed a few more seconds or so. “How’re you two getting out of here, anyway? You know Umbridge has all the entrances sealed. You think it’s going to work, whatever you two’ve got planned?” There was a sliver of selfishness that hoped it didn’t, but you suppressed it. You were overflowing with pride for your best friends.

And then there he was -- that young boy filled with adventure and reckless abandon, looking at you as if only seeing you for the very first time. His grin deepened when he replied, “Don’t worry -- it’s in typical Weasley fashion.” He stopped in his tracks and placed his hands in his pockets, and peered at you with a type of intense sincerity that made every muscle in your body ache all over again. “I’ll see you soon, then?”

Your lip quivered again. “Yeah,” you replied, willing yourself to believe it. You would. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

You shook your head at him and watched as he disappeared around the bend, but not before that signature wink he loved to offer.

About thirty minutes later, after you’d had a good cry and rinsed the runny mascara off of your cheeks and from underneath your eyes, you heard a bit of yelling from inside the castle. You were sitting in the courtyard basking in the glorious spring weather, forcing yourself to focus on what you needed to study, when a group of students began to huddle near the windows.

Confused, you shut your spellbook and wandered over to where they were gathered, wondering what the bloody hell could be going on inside. Weren’t the fifth years supposed to be taking their OWLs?

And then two red headed figures zoomed out of the castle on their broomsticks, followed by a firework dragon the size of the real dragon Harry had fought just last year, with more sparklers and pyrotechnics behind them brightening up the sky. Students flooded into the courtyard and cheers were nearly shaking the whole entire structure of the castle. You looked around at all of the students, beaming with exuberance, and wondered just how many of the Wildfire Whizbangs had gotten caught in Umbridge’s hair, setting it aflame. You smiled to yourself and began to clap, too.

For as blue as you felt, you were ten times happier for them.

George and Fred were now hovering in the air beneath a very large firework in the shape of a ‘W’. Fred was busy cheering along with the crowd, clearly pleased with the feedback from all of the students -- and even some teachers. Was that Flitwick he spotted below? Had he made his Charms teacher proud?

But George wasn’t cheering -- he was focused. Focused on scanning the crowd, focused on bouncing his eyes from student to student until he found the familiar one he was looking for.

“You alright, Georgie?” Fred called over the roar of the dragon, now swimming through the clouds.

“Yeah,” George replied, though he didn’t fully believe it -- not until he saw you, in the middle of a sea of Ravenclaws, peering up at the two of them with nothing but admiration plastered onto your face. George breathed another sigh of relief and didn’t take his eyes off of you. He couldn’t. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“To new adventures!” Fred cheered and raised his hands in delight. More students began to scream and cheer and wave to them from the grounds. He proceeded to do a backflip on his broomstick in the air.

When your eyes met his from below, he watched as your smile slowly grew a bit larger and your clapping became more exuberant. He could already count down the bloody days until you were finished with school and walking through the front doors of their shop, a grin on your face so large it could cure diseases! But for now, you had to study, and he had a business to run.

He turned toward his brother, who had never looked more excited or proud in all his years. George stuck out his hand for a high-five as he wobbled slightly on his broom. To Fred, George replied, “To new adventures, mate.”

tag list: @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @harrysweasleys @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @geeksareunique @insearchofnewdreams @notstandingstill-imlyinginwait @lumos-barnes @thatfuckingliardavidtennant @slytherinqween @xinyourdreamsx @skiving-snackboxess @wildfire-whizbangs @dwarfwizard-from-panem @diary-of-an-onliner @answer-the-sirens @woakiees @black-widow-fangirl @theheirofnightandday @summerstardust @whysoseriouspadfoot @chocok22 @myhopesareanchoredinyou @siriusblackisme @illusivedaydreamer @zeeneee @writingwitchly @wolfpotter12 @obsessedwithrandomthings @carolinesbookworld @shadowsinger11 @pit-and-the-pen @summer-writes-words @peachesandpinks @gweaslvy @alpineweasley @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbystrawberry0421 @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook

[uwu-shinsou]

First,,,, CONGRATS ON 500 BB!! YOU DESERVED IT!! And uhhh if it's not much a bother can I request Shinsou Hitoshi with 6 and 13 (if it's alright! If youre not comfortable with doing it you can do whatever youre comfortable with, I care abt your well being more than the fic that Im requesting) and I dont really uh care if its hc or a drabble or smth cuz im inlove with anything and everything that you make! Again congrats! Have a nice day :))

Title: Whatever You Say

Prompt: Accidental Text, Hate-to-Love

Warning(s): Mild language

Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi X Gender Neutral!Reader

Genre: Drabble, working through feelings

Word Count: 1.3K

A/N: THANK YOU ISSA!! 🥺💖I’m so glad you requested!! Bc I’m trying to keep these shorter like “drabbles” I had a hard time doing like,, full on hate to love so this is more like resentment to friends with implications of hidden feelings?? AHAHA but uhhh yeah, I hope you all enjoy 🥺and in case you missed it, my last year of college has started, so I will be updating less frequently, but I will still be around and writing and vibing!🤗

500 Event Masterlist

✿ .✿ .✿ .✿ .✿

Oh shit.

You flew down the hall, bursting into Kaminari’s bedroom without knocking. The blonde sat up quickly at your intrusion, but relaxed slightly upon seeing it was you.

“What’s up speed racer?” He joked, folding his legs up to make room for you on the bed. You walked up to the side of the bed, dropping your knees on the edge and falling forward face-down onto the covers.

“I messed up, Denki,” You groaned, rolling over onto your back and staring at the ceiling. “I sent a text to Shinsou-”

He let out a little snort. “Now that’s unusual.”

“Yeah,” You agreed. “Because it was a text that was not meant for him.” 

“It couldn’t have been that bad, right?” He asked, now a little nervous. You couldn’t blame him. You and Kaminari had clicked instantly at the beginning of your first year at U.A., and now you’d pretty much consider him your best friend, and you his. But come the end of first year, with the trial and following announcement that Shinsou Hitoshi, general ed student, would be transfering into the hero course- and more specifically- your class, Kaminari Denki had seemed to collect himself yet another best friend. 

And you had made your first rival.

You hadn’t wanted to. But when you had first heard about Shinsou’s quirk, people couldn’t help but compare it to yours. As long as you maintained skin to skin contact, you could command another person to do anything that you wanted. Paired with your athletic background (which started when you were young, at the insistence of your parents that it’d “prepare you for hero training”) you were clearly the superior “mind control” student. You didn’t understand why another one was needed in the hero course. Wasn’t he just fine being in the general course?

But of course he had to join class 2A, become Aizawa’s favorite, and start to steal the attention of your best friend.

But Kaminari was his own person, and he made his own choices about when he hung out with the two of you. It really wasn’t fair to put him in the middle of your mess of feelings. And even though he was Shinsou’s friend, you knew he would keep your secrets.

You turned onto your side to look at him. “Here just- read this.” You shoved your phone at him. He took it in his hand, his face contorting into a grimace as he read your mistake once, twice, three times.

“...Why the hell did you send him this?” You slapped your hands against your face in embarrassment and despair. He mockingly cleared his throat. “‘Can you believe purple hair beat me in today’s exercise? Why does he have to basically have my quirk? If he wasn’t so hot I’d be really pissed.’” Kaminari let out a whistle. “Wow, now there is a lot to unpack here, hun.”

You winced. “Yeah, that text was supposed to go to Mina, but I mean- fucking hell, I don’t know?” You ran your hands over your face. “I guess I somehow just clicked the wrong contact and instead it went to him! And it’s even worse that he hasn’t responded about it yet.” You’d never outright said to Shinsou that you disliked him, but you had to assume he knew, and felt the same way about you.

“I didn’t know you thought he was hot,” Kaminari said, wiggling his eyebrows. You launched a pillow at him that he ducked. 

“C’mon, anyone with a brain can see that he’s attractive,” You muttered. “It’s the same as Todoroki, or maybe Bakugou if you took away some of the attitude.”

He let out a sigh. “Yeah you’re right.” After a moment of silence he pressed your phone back into your hand. “Anyways, I think the best approach would be to sort it out face to face. Texting can make things too muddled sometimes.”

“Since when did you have so much wisdom?” 

He nudged you with a knee. “Hey, there’s a reason you came running to me.”

“I suppose you’re right.” It’ll probably be really awkward and not fun, but you should try to explain yourself in person.

Which is how you found yourself on the outskirts of the woods by the dorm buildings watching Shinsou workout, your presence still unnoticed as his back was turned to you. Kaminari had directed you here, knowing that his friend often trained here on his own. 

Suddenly he relaxed his stance, speaking without turning around. “What, you got more to say to me than what was in that text?”

You gritted your teeth at his words. What is up with his attitude!? “Yeah, well maybe I do.” You crossed your arms, shifting most of your weight onto one foot.

Shinsou glanced over his shoulder. “Sucks for you, I’m busy.” He reached down to the ground and slung his towel over his shoulder. “Since my quirk is clearly inferior to yours, I need to keep training.” You winced slightly at his words.

“Hey, I never said it like that-”

“Yeah, well you didn’t have to.” He sighed before turning to face you fully. “Look, I get it, you feel like I’m trying to take your spot here at U.A. Well just- don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll stay out of your way.”

As he began walking away, you found yourself stepping after him. “Shinsou, it’s not fair to phrase it that way.”

He stopped and turned to face you once more. “What do you know about ‘not fair’?” Shinsou took a step closer to you. “‘Not fair’ is getting into the general class, only to see someone just like me being praised for their power in the hero course. ‘Not fair’ is working as hard as I can to make my dreams come true, only to find out that I still have to compete against you. ‘Not fair’ is wanting to so desperately hate you for it all, but I can’t. Not when I see your strength, your power, your drive and ambition, and I can’t help but admire it. Admire you.” He let out a soft snort of mock amusement to himself. “I do kind of hate you for that, though.”

You stood there in silence. What do I even say to that? Shinsou watched you warily, waiting for a reaction.

“I don’t hate you, not really,” You said slowly. As good a place to start as any. “Resented you, yes, but hate is a strong word.” As you continued talking, your mouth let more and more words spill out, words you didn’t even know you had wanted to say. “And yeah, I was worried that you’d ‘take my spot’ or whatever, but I think that was the competitive nature of this school getting to me. They support friendly competition between students, but maybe I took that too much to heart.” You toed at the ground, slowly looking up to meet his eyes. “I was worried about you joining our class because I think you have amazing control over your quirk and you’re really talented. You really do have the potential to be an incredible hero. And I think… I’d like it better if we were friends, instead of pitting ourselves against each other.”

As you waited for Shinsou’s response, you started to get antsy. Why do I care so much about what he’s going to say?

Finally he answered. “Alright. Friends is a good place to start.” He held his hand out to you, as if to shake on it. Hesitatingly you reached out, your fingers firmly grasping his. He tightened his grip. “Should we also acknowledge that you said I was hot in your text?”

His words brought on a wave of nerves, and you yanked your hand back as if it were on fire. “That- That was a typo!” He began walking back towards the dorms with you hurrying to catch up to him.

As you matched his stride, he huffed out a laugh and sent you a knowing smile. “Sure, whatever you say.”

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[efyra]

EEEK I WAS SO EXCITED TO JOIN UR CELEBRATION i knew it wouldnt be long til u post it🦋

can i get 🌷 im a female she/her, ravenclaw, im easily bored n a perfectionist idk if being easily bored is a personality or not lol facts abt me: im using a baby towel as my towel, im using a baby lotion, i love to collect anything that has simba from the lion king in it bcs my fav animal is lion n my fav movie is the lion king n i like to bake😋 ship me w whoever give me the wildcard!

i wrote 4 facts hshdhshs but i hope thats okay congratulations again my love😘

my sweet naila 🥺 thank you, my popcorn 🍿i really hope you like it!

✨ 𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝟓𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ✨

and because i know you, i ship you with...

draco malfoy

Hakuna Matata?

note: just an alternate universe where draco doesn’t become a death eater

On a spring afternoon, Draco told you:

"You're wrong, you know?"

Your eyebrow arched. "Why do you say that?"

"Because it's true" he chuckled.

"Draco" you turn your body so you can face your Slytherin boyfriend "I'm sure we spoke for the first time in Hogsmeade."

"You're wrong" he repeated, still with a presumptuous and funny tone.

You huffed. "So, will you tell me when we first spoke?"

"Professor Slughorn had just passed us an assignment on Everlasting Elixirs..." Draco smothered a laugh when he saw your eyes widen.

"Oh no..."

"Oh yes"

And in fact, Draco was right.

The first time you spoke was after a Potions class during your sixth year. You had stayed in the classroom to ask some questions to Professor Slughorn about the assignment you were supposed to do, and for this reason, you were late for your next class.

You ran down the corridors to get to the Charms classroom, but you always were a little clumsy and stumbled on your own feet. For your luck - very lucky - you find something to hold on to: the platinum blond boy's robes in front of you.

Draco is pulled back when he feels something grabbing on his Slytherin robe. "Hey, be more careful" he said angry and when he turned to find out who had dared to do such a thing, he sees you and, for a moment, he is lacking of words.

The Slytherin boy kinda knows you.

"The Ravenclaw girl that smells like baby lotion and vanilla. What is her name...?"

But he didn’t have time to ask you anything because the second you two run into each other, you start saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." and quickly pick up your stuff that fell to the ground before running back to your next class.

He realized that you missed your quill. Unwittingly, Draco opened a smile and picked up the object, keeping it in his pocket.

"You stole my quill!" you exclaimed, pointing a finger in the direction of your boyfriend. "I've been looking for it for days!"

"In my defense, I wanted to give it back to you," Draco explains, "but you always ran away from me.

Once again, he was right: you, in fact, tried your best to avoid any contact with Slytherin boy; this was because you were aware of his arrogant fame and didn't want to hear any unpleasant words, but this never happened.

"Here" Draco extends to you the quill.

A surprised look appears on your face when you take the familiar object in your hands. "Have you kept it all this time?" you ask with curiosity.

He shrugs. "I was waiting for an opportunity to give it back to you, but..."

"But?" you insist.

"We met at Three Broomsticks... so I decided to keep it to myself."

Months after that first "conversation", you and Draco met again.

You were entering the pub at the same instant he was leaving; and for the second time, you bumped into each other.

"Can you tell me if this will become an annoying habit?" the blond asked in irritation.

But you ignored him completely, your neck rising up and looking around the place, searching for something; apparently your friends hadn't finished their shopping at Honeydukes yet.

Draco snapped his fingers in front of you, catching your attention - hating to be ignored.

"Ah" you gasped, remembering the Slytherin boy’s presence "I'm sorry, I thought I was late and...".

"Is that why you're still wearing a towel?" he questioned amusingly, pointing towards your neck.

To your horror, you still carried your Lion King towel over your shoulders and thought you would regret for all eternity to embarrass yourself in front of Draco freaking Malfoy, but fate had a funny way of executing its plans.

"But what's this weird thing?" was the question that started your relationship with Draco.

The second time you talked was much longer than the first; you sat at a table at Three Broomsticks and drank butterbeer while you told Slytherin boy the story of Simba.

Draco hadn't found the story super interesting, but he had definitely loved being able to feel your baby lotion and vanilla perfume more. He had loved to hear the sound of your voice. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off you while you made exaggerated gestures with your hands trying to describe scenes from the children's movie - he thought you looked beautiful, very beautiful.

You said goodbye to each other when your friends showed up next to your table holding Honeydukes' bags. And you thought you would never talk to Draco Malfoy again, but you were wrong, because, that night, he went to sleep thinking about you.

The third time you talked was the next day when Draco kicked out your partner from Potions to sit next to you. Professor Slughorn couldn't care less about the exchange of partners and gave you an assignment to do in pairs.

As you continued talking with him, you realized that the blond Slytherin boy might not be so unpleasant.

The first time your heart beat faster when you were in Draco's presence was when he held your hand when you were about to add an ingredient to the potion you should prepare together.

"Silly girl" he had said with a smile "you have to prick it first.

Then, one afternoon you were in Hogwarts library, researching in several books what you could include in the Potions report that you should write in pairs. 

"We should put this" Draco pointed to a line on the book's page.

It took you a few seconds to read what was written and you shook your head. "No, no."

"Why not?" The blond frowned.

"Because it's too obvious!" you huffed. "I bet everyone will write the same thing."

"Maybe because it's right?" he said almost incredulous.

"Writing something right, but still different is what will make us stand out," you winked. 

And it was on that day that Draco Malfoy realized that he might be in love with you.

Your first kiss was a few days before the end of the school year, after a hard exams period, you were sharing a couch on Slytherin's common room and a chocolate frog.

"I got dirty?" you asked after licking the chocolate leftovers from your fingers, turning to Draco. Unconsciously, you tilted your head to the side and your lips curved up in a little smile - at that moment, Draco thought you had never looked so cute, but at the same time, so irresistible.

Without answering your question, he brought his face close to yours, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

You and Draco were together, but you were not dating.

During the summer, you exchanged letters almost every day. You had gotten used to Draco's presence, it was weird not being with him.

When September arrived again, you didn't waste any time and got in the train, looking for the platinum blond who occupied your thoughts the whole time, but it was him who found you.

You two shared a cabin - and nobody dared to join you.

"Ah" you extended a bag that you were carrying in Draco's direction "this is for you".

The Slytherin boy looked at you surprised - and a little terrified.

"Is that a gift? I didn't even buy her a gift... did I have to buy a gift? Will she be upset? What if she...", but his thoughts were interrupted when you said, "It's just some cookies. I promise it's not poison or anything" with a playful smile on your face.

Draco didn't know you could bake, but he was pleasantly surprised to find out - especially since your cookie was delicious.

And that was the day he was sure that he fell in love with you.

He asked you to be his girlfriend on a Christmas morning in Hogwarts right after giving you a nice necklace as a gift.

And since then, you had brought Draco a joy he had never felt before - and which he never thought he could feel.

Your favorite pastime was to go to Three Broomsticks and drink butterbeer together while you talked about the most diverse subjects.

And Draco still loved to hear you talking about Lion King.

That same spring afternoon, you and Draco were in Slytherin's common room; he was sitting on an armchair and you were on his lap.

"You know, I still think you should watch Lion King with me," you say, your fingers brushing through your boyfriend's platinum blond wires.

"I rather hearing you telling the story to me" Draco answers with a smile, giving a kiss in the corner of your mouth. "Besides, we need to finish that Potions assignment."

"Oh no, let's stay like this a little bit longer."

"But that's for two days from now."

"Hakuna Matata, Draco. Hakuna Matata."

"Hakuna Matata?"

[letteredlettered]

hi! ive been following your writing for a few years now and i drop by periodically to check if you have anything new posted, and im really surprised that you seem to be enjoying the untamed? im curious what you think about the show - its story and characters, the acting, the production, etc. idk if you know, but the untamed is the most successful example of a current trend in chinese entertainment, where popular online novels centered around a gay romance is adapted into a 'safe' drama.

continued:

due to the many explicit and implicit restrictions imposed on creative media in china, many crucial plot points have to be changed (often badly) or removed, including the nature of the relationship between the main characters. the untamed is considered the most loyal adaptation so far, but like all other works in the genre, it received criticism for weak acting and queerbaiting. that's why im really curious about what you think of the show as it is, as itself, free from its context.

if you're interested, you could also check out guardian! it features much better performance and chemistry by the leads imo, but the story was heavily botched bc the original incorporates and reinvents a lot of classic chinese folklore beautifully and stuff like that is considered disrespectful and not-pc. i think it's really sad how so many great pieces of writing with complex world-building and plotlines are simplified into... idek what to call them, but just, less than what they are.

im sorry this turned into a rant. as a mainland chinese person with oh so many frustrations about our current society, it's hard to comprehensively describe my feelings about the untamed's popularity. it's the first mainland chinese show/movie to gain this much organic interest abroad so i should be glad? but, but. anyway, yes, im sorry.

There’s no need to apologize for ranting, but I admit to some confusion as to whether you want your question addressed or the rant. Because I’m me and tend to be thorough, I’ll address everything, in reverse order.

First of all, I’m sorry that this show is sad to you. I’m sorry that the popularity of it is difficult. I’m also deeply sympathetic to your frustrations about your society, as I too am deeply frustrated by my own.

Secondly, yes, I’m aware of the context of The Untamed. I’m aware that the book it’s based on is a BL novel, and that, in order to align with Chinese politics, overt queerness was erased from the adaptation. I’m aware of the censure laws of gay media in China. I’m also aware that some aspects of necromancy and morality were adjusted to make the show more palatable for general audiences, but I’m fuzzier on those details. Lastly, I’m aware that the popularity of the show calls attention to certain things, such as fanfic, and that attention results in more censorship,

The fact of this erasure and this censure provokes a lot of questions: by consuming this product, which contains erasure and censure, do we engage in the erasure and censure? By posting gifs and writing fanfic and talking about this product, do we increase its popularity, thereby encouraging additional erasure and censure? By increasing the popularity of this product, do we diminish the popularity of the original gay morally gray canon, thereby decreasing representation? Do we discourage other authors in China from writing explicitly gay morally gray material? In short, are we allowed to enjoy this media?

I don’t know the answer to these questions. However, I do know that boycott is a very effective tool when it can inflict economic pain on the producer, or when it can exert pressure on an entity to change. That said, I feel like a lot of the calls to boycott certain media these days are a lot like telling people to stop driving their cars to stop climate change: it’s suggesting that individuals can solve the problem, which presupposes individuals are the problem, and therefore fails to address the scope of the problem, or present the possibility of a real solution. Not watching The Untamed isn’t going to change laws about portrayals of homosexuality onscreen in China, partly because the laws in China are a much bigger problem.

The other part of it is that The Untamed is coded queer, so if you run a successful boycott against it, you end up with . . . less queer TV. I know a whole lot less about China than I do about the Hays Code, but if you had told gay people during the Golden Age of Hollywood that they couldn’t enjoy movies that were coded queer because they weren’t explicitly queer, they’d have said you were crazy. In fact, many people will tell you that media that was coded queer was a big reason we got more explicit queer stuff later. And as I’m sure you’re aware, the US is still fighting that battle . . . partly because it wants to sell movies to China.

So then there’s a question about whether me, an American in the US, liking something coded queer from China but not explicitly queer--does that encourage Chinese censorship? Should I only support texts that are explicitly queer? But the answer is the same--it’s not addressing the scope of the problem, and by supporting texts that are coded queer, you could be paving the way in the future for something brighter.

But you weren’t talking about boycott! You were talking about your discomfort with the popularity with this show, which I accept. I understand feeling uncomfortable. I can only hope it makes you a bit more comfortable to know that plenty of fans are deeply aware of the context and do wrestle with the question of what liking this show means in the context of a society that would never allow aspects of the original to be portrayed onscreen.

Thirdly, I’m not against trying Guardian at some point, but by comparing the acting and chemistry of the leads to The Untamed, I feel like you prove our tastes are very different in these regards. I love the acting of the leads in The Untamed; I found their chemistry off the charts. It’s okay you don’t feel the same.

Lastly, you asked my opinion of The Untamed: its story and characters, the acting, the production, sans context of the canon upon which its based and censorship laws in China.

a. I love the overall story, but the plot has deep plot holes. Quite a few segments do not actually make sense to me, because the plot is so haywire. However, I’ve never cared that much about plot, except when it gets in the way of characters and themes, and for the most part, this plot serves its characters and themes, except when the parts they leave out are so confusing that I cannot follow the story. As for the story, it feels like it’s built for me, because ultimately it’s about moral decisions and how to make them; it’s about guilt and paying for mistakes; it’s about learning, changing your mind, and remaking yourself. Really, I’m not sure there are many stories I love more--except they killed my favorite character, and I almost quit. So, that certainly put a damper on things.

b. I love the characters most of all, although the villains are really two-dimensional. However, large parts of the plot are not Hero vs Villain, they’re Hero vs Society, and then some Hero vs Himself in a way that suggests the Hero is no longer a hero. I could talk about the characters forever, but suffice it to say I think they’re really strong. Also, the relationships are really exquisite, particularly when it comes to family dynamics. Unfortunately, they killed my favorite character off. Also unfortunately, there are six women in this show, only two of them are main characters, and every single one of them dies. It disgusts me.

c. I think the two leads are exceptional, in particular Xiao Zhan . . . when he’s not being too broad, which he is quite a bit. However, I do wonder how much of this is direction and production style, because in many instances, he’s quite subtle, and the choices he makes are astounding. Then there are times where it’s like they needed more footage, or wanted to drive home a point, and he turns on the extra, and it’s awful. It could just be him, but I actually feel it’s the case with most of the actors, which does make me think it’s a directing issue. Meng Ziyi never really has that problem though, because she is the most perfect of all. But then take He Peng, who I actually thought could be incredible, but every scene was just SO BROAD that I began to feel sorry for the poor dude having to act that part. But there is nothing to be said for Wang Zhuo Cheng, who really is just terrible, which is sad, because it’s a great part.

d. Production-wise, it’s really hit and miss. So much of the locations are truly beautiful. A lot of the costumes are too, unless the shot is too close. I actually don’t mind the wigs; I love the long hair. The CGI is terrible. And then while a lot of the shots are beautiful, some of them are awkward, and the pacing is really difficult, imo. It really seems like they wanted to drag it out, and there are so, so many scenes where I’m sort of embarrassed that we’re in the same scene or that we’re still looking at someone’s face, or that everyone is just standing there waiting for the shot to finally end.

I will say that film is a language that does differ from culture to culture. It could be that both the broadness of the acting and the awkwardness of the editing are my cultural lens based on American and a lot of western film. When I watched older Hollywood films, the acting is a lot more broad and maybe a little less “true” feeling, but I understand that it’s not the case everyone in the past was a bad actor. It was just a different style, so I’m not sure I’m equipped with the cultural knowledge of Chinese acting, cinematography, and editing to be able to really judge the value of these things.

I do know how I feel, which is that the editing is the biggest hurdle for me while watching the show. However, I feel that the beauty of it makes up for a lot, and the strength of the characters and themes really carries it.

I hope I addressed your points adequately, and I wish you well.