#now im gonna go to bed cuz its 4 in the morning fuck me

[themoonstarwarrior]

OKAY BEFORE I SEE THE TRAILER FOR SONIC 2....

Here is a list of fanon things that most of us have followed since Movie 1 that I expect the sequel to be cool with:

1. Tom and Maddie are Sonic's parents

It doesnt have to be legal "Sonic Wachowski" adoption, but we all know that by the time Sonic moves in, there's no way that the two of them arent in parent mode. The only way I'll accept otherwise is if there is a plot point of Sonic being clueless that his relationship with Tom (and Maddie) has become more "family" than "best friends"

2. The entirety of Green Hillls knows and accepts Sonic

Sonic spent TEN FUCKING YEARS living on the sidelines of this town he loves, and during the climax not only did people witness him saving the day, but Crazy Carl even says that he's "THEIR Blue Devil". There is no way that Sonic has to continue hiding from everyone after that, they are TOTALLY adopting him as their local cryptid and keeping quiet to everyone else. "Oh that's just Sonic, the sherriff's son. Hes a lil odd but SUCH a good boy"

3. Sonic joins the Green Hills baseball team

Okay, there's always the chance that the "it's a school night" line at the end was Tom teasing, but COME ON. You cant show Sonic watching the other kids at the playoffs and then playing on his own and expect us NOT to assume he is enrolled in the school and joins the baseball team. And before anyone says he cant cuz his speed, if you watch the Baseball Scene again Sonic is ONLY using his speed to zoom around and fill all the positions, he runs normally around the bases.

4. The Wachowskis reconciled with Rachel and Sonic and Jojo get playdates

Dont care how much Rachel hates Tom or how pissed off she is at the whole "Ropes and Car Stealing", she is still family and Sonic and Jojo CLEARLY hit it off so you KNOW they gotta be bucking for hangout time. (Plus I think Rachel and Wade are supposed to be a thing? So I mean Sonic and Jojo GOTTA spend time together)

5. and most importantly....

SONIC STAYS WITH HIS FAMILY ON EARTH NO MATTER HOW MANY CHARACTERS ARE INTRODUCED

The whole point of the first movie was that Sonic was alone and finally got a family and home he could belong in. If the second movie ends with Sonic going back to his own world, it seems like that would all be for nothing. I know that in the normal Sonic Canon, Sonic is a natural wanderer who doesnt like being tied down, but THIS sonic is a kid who spent a decade with NO ONE and then finally got his wish so frankly I dont think Movie Sonic would WANT to be constantly drifting. He HAS a home and family and he wouldnt want to give that up after so long. Frankly, it makes more sense for the Wachowskis and Green Hills to just adopting various aliens as more Sonic characters get introduced.

(I know theres no ways they're bringing him in yet, but I love the headcanon of Shadow and eventually Silver being adopted by Wade, I cant remember who first came up with the idea but I would be SOOOOOOO happy if we got Shadow and Silver Whipple shenanigans XD)

Anyway those are the things I want them to keep. I know the Movie Team has been super awesome on all counts, but I just really want them to follow the fans in this case.

[spacexseven]

(2/4 sorry realized dazais was super long split it into two its 4 parts now) ur sooooooo right about dazai and this scenario SO right the fucking bastard probably does this to randoms for fun on the weekends. sidenote im going with mafia dazai for this just cuz he has more room to be Evil and i also dont think kunikida would allow ANY of these antics if he was there. warning hes gonna be SUUUPER mean i kinda softboy-ed aku but i cant bring myself to do the same to dazai </3

darling is just some civilian with ties to an enemy syndicate or works somewhere they need access to as an average employee with a convenient amount of security clearance, no one really that special on paper, and he’s pissed. he’s stuck with some no-name loser for the foreseeable future? how demeaning. this work is so beneath him as an executive, can’t he make one of his subordinates do it?

he’s amazing at the flirty coworker persona, and even BETTER at the loving boyfriend schtick. scarily so, when you consider that he spends a lot of his downtime thinking about how much you bore him and he cant wait to get rid of you. similar to what he does to chuuya in wan, every perceived slight you commit against him is put down to paper so he can get his appropriate vengeance when the time comes. you hummed and it got on his nerves, he’ll be sure to break  your jaw. you touched his hand today, for that he’ll rip your fingernails off one by one. stuff like that.

he starts to warm up to you as time goes on. the surefire way to dazai’s heart is to give him unselfish care. something as small as packing him something for lunch since he only eats crab out of a can; to something as big as nursing him through a drug or alcohol induced stupor after one of his many attempts on his own life. he wakes up the next morning clean, comfortable, and with a very minimal headache due to the cold washcloth you put on his head. why did you bother doing that?

yea i don't think ada dazai could do half these things and get away with it either so we'll stick to pm dazai!! i do have a question tho, can you find crab in a can? is it edible?? it sounds strange to me i only eat tuna (lol) out of a can...lol this got much longer than i planned for, sorry in advance!!

cw: yandere character, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, toxic relationships, dazai is an asshole, mentions of violence and murder, manipulation, deceit, emotional abuse, jealousy, kidnapping, imprisonment.

ask continued: (3/4) good news: he’s attached now! at the hip! hes a little obvious, really. dazais always flirty, but now hes CLINGY. and JEALOUS. he seemed so Above being affectionate or possessive of you, before. much too self-confident, you supposed. but now you’re lucky if you can manage to get out of bed without having to escape the IRONCLAD GRIP hes got you in, and do NOT even get me STARTED on how he reacts to ANYONE so much as looking at you! you’re his! his his his his HIS! you both love each other, so you belong to one another! simple as that!

bad news: you have recently figured out that you shouldve been scared of him. of course, you find his little notebook, and something inside of you is SCREAMING at you to read it, and what you find shatters your view of him forever. you brushed off the really weird vibe you got from him initially, cuz he was so nice! attentive! you never really got attention like that from anyone before, it was all too easy for him to get you caught up. stupid stupid stupid. 

worse news: he notices, when you start to pull away from him. you’re making excuses not to see him, not to sleep in the same bed as him. you get all stiff when he gets too close to you, and you wont kiss him back. doesnt take him long to figure out what happened. takes him even less time to come up with a plan to make sure you cant run away from him. don’t be scared, he loves you so much! he’ll show you how sorry he is for saying all those mean things!

it's not like dazai was new to the whole leech-out-information-from-an-unsuspecting-victim-and-kill-them-after routine, but he definitely didn't like this part of his job. it's so terribly boring as compared to his go-to way of getting information (interrogations! torture! shorter and less effort needed!) it takes too much effort to make sure his target likes him enough to lower their guard around him and spoonfeed him the information he needs. it takes even longer to safely send back acquired information to the pm without anyone suspecting him to be the mole, and usually these missions take months if not years. he doesn't want to invest to much time in something like this, especially when he knows his target is the most boring person to walk upon this planet.

if he was assigned to the leader of some crime syndicate, or maybe the secret mastermind behind a revolution, or even a top-level military agent, he might find the thrill somewhat entertaining. after all, there's something quite wonderful in wrapping an untouchable person around his finger.

but you...

you were painfully ordinary. he understood why it had to be you, a somewhat 'regular' member of the ability group, trusted enough to have access to information that would be useful, but not too high up in the ranks. not to mention, you would eventually be moved up and allowed access into even more highly guarded secrets. if he didn't get to you now, he might never get you at all. if you were too important you'd never trust anyone, and you'd be too paranoid to let slip even seemingly unimportant details. it had to be you, and now.

and he was good at his job. he was charming but not suspiciously so, and not so well known that he would be identified. still, as he watched you before his infiltration had officially started, he realized that you were a fool. too trusting, too smiling, and far too friendly. even akutagawa would have been suited for this job, you wouldn't have suspected a thing. maybe you'd even like the whole grumbling outcast thing he had going on. but no matter how much he whined or complained or groaned, nothing was done about it. he was stuck with you until he finished the mission.

it was probably his hatred towards you that caused him to act so recklessly, and moving the relationship so quickly—from strangers to moving in together within a month. it wasn't hard to have you eating right out of his hand, with some saccharine smiles and soft looks, gentle stroking and—you practically had stars in your eyes. what a fool, he thought, ignoring how the softening of his eyes when you cheerfully ran into his arms happened somewhat naturally. you must have been desperate if you so eagerly accepted his sudden advances.

he still hated you, of course. he recorded your wrongdoings so he could unleash his fury later, when you were no longer of use. that time you ran your fingers through his hair, he swore to break each and every bone in your hand. and when you dragged him out on dates he planned out the appropriate punishment, same as when you touched him or kissed him or smiled up at him with so much warmth it made him sick—you made him sick, and you'd pay for that, eventually.

surprisingly, despite his overall sleazy and cruel demeanor—he never paid for dates (even though he was given the funds), and never bought you presents after the third one. he never initiated any physical affection, and straight up ignored your calls sometimes—after you were officially dating you still seemed to like him. you probably idolized him, after being starved of affection for so long. any crumb of affection he gave you, whether it was a fake smile or a stiff pat, you'd eagerly eat up. it was so pathetic he almost felt bad for you. even know, this relationship wasn't real, but you were a fool who thought you found love. not like this arrangement was anything you should be mourning.

were you hoping he'd turn back to the charming guy you met all those weeks ago? did you really have no clue that you fell in love with a lie? or maybe, you just couldn't comprehend someone using you. after all, you weren't very wealthy or connected to anyone influential. all you had was your job, and that was meaningless to most people. perhaps you thought he was most people, because it was so easy to get things out of you. at night, when the two of you were awkwardly lying down in bed, he just had to roll over, throw an arm around you and whisper into your ear, asking about your day. and then everything came pouring out. you weren't so stupid as to directly admit you worked for an ability organization, but the details were still correct. you'd tell him about the planning you had to do for a company event nearby, and just as you said, a week later the group he was targeting was there for something. it was so easy, now, to intercept all their plans. you were annoying but...somewhat useful.

and then...it happened.

dazai didn't realize there had been a last-minute change in plans. your group had come onto the meeting spot earlier than you had said they would be, and he was caught red-handed inside the building. to his surprise, you, without even stopping to consider his intentions, immediately shot up to defend him, excusing him saying that he probably just stopped by to visit you. your coworkers relaxed and slowly agreed. they, too, thought dazai didn't know about the 'company' you worked for, and thought he was just being a considerate boyfriend. it couldn't be farther from the truth, but he didn't care what they thought.

you saved him.

and it wasn't the only time, either. there were the times you've nursed him back to health after yet another one of his stupid stunts, the times you've waited hours for him to turn up for a date, complaining but never actually mad, the times you've made him something to eat, knowing he didn't care much about eating healthy. it infuriated him how genuinely selfless you were, even to an asshole like him.

you cared about him, like you cared for everyone else in your life, even though he knew he didn't deserve it. it was so nice, though, as much as he hated admitting it, to be cared for. to be looked after and loved genuinely despite his shortcomings. sometimes he wondered if you'd only love him more if he cleaned up his act. the more you smiled at him and gently nudged him awake and asked him if he ate and showed him things you thought he'd like, the more he realized he was getting a little attached to you.

and then, he came to a decision.

you were far too nice to him for him to just leave you to die after this mission. and you were far too kind to have such a terrible boyfriend. he could at least try to completely win you over now before you inevitably found out about his true intentions and then, you'd really hate him since he would have killed your friends. he decided you would stay with him, regardless of how the mission went.

he probably should have considered your confusion when your usually aloof boyfriend suddenly became a completely new person. you'd wake up and get ready to leave when an arm suddenly wraps around you and dazai whines at you about not leaving. whines! the same man who'd rarely say a word to you until breakfast was acting so...clingy all of a sudden, though you'd be lying if you said you hated it. suddenly your days were filled with constant kissing and an arm always around you, dazai showing up at your workplace more often to grab lunch with you and boldly flirting with you. sure, there was something quite terrifying about the way he glared at your coworkers, his eyes so blank it was eerie, but you forgot all about it once he snuggled into your neck and placed a kiss on your collarbone.

and then there was his insistence that you were being overworked when he normally wouldn't have cared what time you came home, as long as you did come home, going so far as to contacting your boss to demand you get more time off. of course, everyone laughed it off as your boyfriend simply being concerned for your health and your boss complied, shortening your hours and granting you a long overdue break. your life was just so perfect now. and to think you were worried about him wanting to break up. whenever you asked dazai why he was suddenly so expressive, however, he would only give you a vague answer about realizing it was unfair of him to let out his anger by treating you coldly and wanting to fix things. because, as he said so often, he loved you.

"nobody could love you as much as i do," he would say, "seriously, i think i could die in my love for you. you're everything to me and i love you so much."

maybe you should have noticed how...intense his feelings were then,

it all came crashing down one day when you saw a text on his phone—someone asking him to gather more information about the ability users in the group you were in. he wasn't supposed to know about that, and by the looks of it, he had been using you to steal intel the entire time. though you felt stupid now, you were more concerned about how you could put an end to it now, especially because you were in so deep with him. at least a while back you could have quickly ended things with him using the reason of being a terrible partner, but now, it would only raise suspicion with him and your coworkers. how were you to explain your boyfriend had been spying on you the entire time to anyone? what would they do to you, and worse yet, what was he planning to do to you once he had no use for you?

the only logical thing to do, in your eyes, was to slowly drift away and eventually break things off with him. his only source of information would be closed then, and you would be safe. the problem was, it was pretty much impossible to leave him. he was always by your side, held you tight as you slept, dropped you off at work and even knew all your friends. how were you supposed to explain to anyone that your boyfriend was going to kill you once he destroyed your group?

as you already figured out, dazai wasn't stupid. it was about time you found out, but now his plans had changed. no more killing you. he could keep you with him permanently now, after forcing you to quit. he didn't need your help anymore for the next part of the plan, which only required him to eradicate the group since they weren't willing to comply to the port mafia's demands. it wasn't like he expected you to sit down and hear him out after finding out he was sort of using you all along, but still, it hurt when you scowled at him and screamed at him. oh well. he could figure it out.

as he smiled down at your bound figure, your eyes wide at the blood soaking his coat, realizing what he had just done, he decided he would stop at nothing to convince you of how much he loved you.

really, he wouldn't trade this for the world.

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ] 

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan​

from track 007. 

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

 YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ] 

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

[dipppedinfollly]

I saw this earlier and  it reminds me of myspace, lets fn go

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Soundcloud

is your room messy or clean? clean

what color are your eyes? Blue

do you like your name? why? HELL FN NO. Its basic.

what is your relationship status? Feyonce.

describe your personality in 3 words or less. Crazy ass bitch.

what color hair do you have? Brown/ Gray.

what kind of car do you drive? color? Nissan, silver.

where do you shop? TRIFT FOR LIFE.

how would you describe your style? Comfortable.

favorite social media account? Tiktok?

what size bed do you have? Queen.

any siblings? Nope.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Cali.

favorite snapchat filter? ew.

favorite makeup brand(s)? Cruelty free, basic brands.

how many times a week do you shower? 6-7.

favorite tv show? The office.

shoe size? 7.

how tall are you? 5′5.

sandals or sneakers? sneakers.

do you go to the gym? Sometimes.

describe your dream date. april 27th. not too hot, not too cold.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $5

what color socks are you wearing? None

how many pillows do you sleep with? One.

do you have a job? what do you do? Homeschool cuz covid.

how many friends do you have? Like 7 CLOSE friends.

whats the worst thing you have ever done? im an angel.

whats your favorite candle scent? Vanilla/ brown sugar.

3 favorite boy names? Dalvin, Andrew, and Storm.

3 favorite girl names? Elena, Alaska, and Mae.

favorite actor? lul okay its probably paul rudd.

favorite actress? Obviously sandra bullock.

who is your celebrity crush? MACHINE GUN KELLY. est xx.

favorite movie? 10 things I hate about you.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Looking for Alaska.

money or brains? Brains.

do you have a nickname? what is it? Bambi.

how many times have you been to the hospital? 4.

top 10 favorite songs OMG NO I cant.

do you take any medications daily? Yes.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Oily as fuck

what is your biggest fear? Spiders?

how many kids do you want? one. one only.

whats your go to hair style? “and i can put it in a bun”

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) duplex, 3 stories

who is your role model? My dad, maybe

what was the last compliment you received? Youre THE girl. You’re on a different level than any other female Ive met.

what was the last text you sent? This is me.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? 6.

what is your dream car? Firebird.

opinion on smoking? Disgusts me.

do you go to college? Yep.

what is your dream job? Clean needle programs/ battered womens shelters. etc.

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? subs.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? yes hehe

do you have freckles? yes

do you smile for pictures? mostly.

how many pictures do you have on your phone? yikes over 5000

have you ever peed in the woods? of course.

do you still watch cartoons? no

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? Wendys

Favorite dipping sauce? honey mustard

what do you wear to bed? big t shirt and undies.

have you ever won a spelling bee? yes.

what are your hobbies? drawing. running my mouth.

can you draw? yes.

do you play an instrument? nope.

what was the last concert you saw? Slipknot.

tea or coffee? coffee.

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dunkin always.

do you want to get married? petrified.

what is your crush’s first and last initial? ope

are you going to change your last name when you get married? sure

what color looks best on you? Black

do you miss anyone right now? Yes

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open

do you believe in ghosts? Yes

what is your biggest pet peeve? when someone compares trauma or says “you could have it much worse”

last person you called? Cody

favorite ice cream flavor? red velvet.

regular oreos or golden oreos? none.

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? none.

what shirt are you wearing? kentucky shirt.

what is your phone background? “Free Shavacado” 

are you outgoing or shy? outgoing. shy when needed.

do you like it when people play with your hair? yes.

do you like your neighbors? fuck that bitch, respectfully.

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? at night.

have you ever been high? yes.

have you ever been drunk? too drunk.

last thing you ate? a brownie.

favorite lyrics right now? “Youre gonna cry and baby thats alright”

summer or winter? summer

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark

favorite month? october.

what is your zodiac sign? sag.

who was the last person you cried in front of? Jesse.

source: luxet

[the-tired-cat-hexer]

Daily blog diary thing

Don’t expect anything professional here. This will be me writing about pretty much anything that either can't leave my mind or just pisses me off. I really don't know. This is my first time writing something like this, and I do wanna make it into a type of thing.

I guess I should start with some small info on me? Welp, here goes nothing.

My real name is not really important, but I guess you can either call me by my username or Van for short. Nah, fuck it, my name's Vanessa. I am turning 17 this lovely year and english is my second language. With a bit of help from Grammarly, it should be easy for you guys to read.

I guess I should also mention that I practice modern witchcraft. I’m talking about Wicca and Paganism to be specific. Im not planning on making it my religion since that means commitment and daily routine, which now doesn't sound bad but. I don't know; I guess I just don't wanna wake up every morning in a panic. May I say that the witchy drink that I’m drinking at the moment is fucking delicious?

Really, it's so fucking good. It's from a friend of mine, who comes from a Wiccan family. I will refer to them as They since, whatever. They gave me the recipe some time ago, and this year, I was able to finally make it. The recipe is pretty simple. All you need is cinnamon (in sugar form), honey and milk (this is also in the order of how I make it). After putting all the ingredients in a cup or a glass, you take a spoon and set your intention for the drink by spinning it in the cup/glass counterclockwise. After that little moment, you put it in a microwave for a minute (kinda funny but yes, for a minute) and there ya go. Nice warm drink that gives you the energy you asked for. I don't think it can give good fortune though, maybe. I should try it next time.

It's currently 23:29, meaning almost midnight. Well, now it's 23:30 but who cares about the specific time here? Me, I guess.

ADHD and Autism if you couldn't guess already. With some sprinkled social anxiety for a good measure. ADHD is really annoying at times, forcing me to either fidget around, move randomly or just walking in circles in my room for like an hour. Autism... It’s not bad I guess.

Do I have a pet? Yes, I do. I have a kitty cat named Sherry, who is maybe now 5 this year. We got her a day after New Year’s (2016) when she was 4 months old. Long time ago. Time really flies.

Now she is staring at something, now she's grooming herself. I have a full view of her since Im laying down in my bed with her always lying in the lower corner, to my left as Im writing this.

Never thought that the scent of honey, milk and cinnamon sugar would make me feel relaxed. Anyway, I should tell you all why Im even writing this.

I kinda have a troubled relationship with my mother. Which is a common thing these days, mainly if you guys have been born in a different generation than your parents. She was born around the time of Communism, meaning that my children, if I end up having any, they will be the last of the Communism bloodline. I think that's what my music teacher said.

I can't really say that it's toxic since it's from both points, but I guess I let you guys be the judges. Not that it will change much.

My mum ended up in a horrible accident about 2 years ago, I believe, before the whole pandemic started. She nearly lost her whole foot after falling from the stairs in our house. She managed to land on her butt, but that dint safe her foot. She went to the hospital for a few weeks, which I spent with my sister, who is the youngest from the older sister group. 

I really felt bad cuz she is my mother, but now. I don't really know. Our opinions are different, our lifestyle is different, pretty much anything. I was born in the 2000s so there is gonna be a lot of differences between us.

I don't really wanna call her a Karen or an EP. But she does have her days when we can laugh for at least a moment. But mostly it's her complaining about her pain in her leg/foot, yelling at the kid we are babysitting almost every day, and just complain about everything. It's the reason why I stay in my room all day. And to be honest, night is slowly becoming the new day for me.

It makes me feel safe. Free of all troubles. I can do pretty much anything with the only disapproval being my mother's groan from her bedroom, which is also a living room, right next to my room.

I don't really know what to write anymore, but I guess I feel better after telling a part of my story? This was my decision, really. I just decided to start this blog thing. I can't promise it will be daily, since Im trying to improve my mental health with some of the things I learned from modern witchcraft. Candles, tarot card reading now that I think about it, meditation, atmosphere. It feels nice when you are trying to help yourself.

I guess I will post more the next night. Maybe around the same time as now. Its minutes before midnight, which is shocking to me. Normally when I write my stories, it takes way longer, even if it's just a scene.

Anyway, what do you guys think? Wanna hear more about my life?

[spazzingcookies]

Vampire Reaper x reader

Chapter 4: can't get a break

!!!Warning, alcohol abuse in this chapter and death!!!

After that night it became hard for (y/n) to sleep. If reaper didn't want to kill her, what did he want? Romance? (Y/n) hoped not. She sighed turning over. Jack was resting in a chair by the door.

Reaper had come two days ago. Two days ago was the last time (y/n) had a full night sleep. Now she only slept maybe 3 to 4 hours a day. (Y/n) turned her head.to look out the window. She could see the morning sun coming out. Waking up the world. The birds where chirping Their morning song. If only (y/n) could enjoy them. She was so tired, but even time she closed her eyes she woke back up thinking reaper was here, but he wasn't.

(Y/n) sighed. It was a few hours till she had to get ready for work. She had started to fall asleep at work and if her now noticed, that would be just bad.

Exhaling (y/n) turned over again. Come on try and sleep. She closed her eyes, only to snap them back open and looking around. This was a thing she did. take a deep breath, close eyes, instantly panic and repeat.

(Y/n) didn't want to wake up Jack, not again. She's woken up in such terror that he had to calm her down. He wasn't the best at it, but he was learning. She would ask him to hold her for a bit to say everything is OK but that man needed his sleep too. Can't fight any vampires of your passed out.

(Y/n) rubbed her eyes. She hated this. She would sit here for hours and lose sleep. It was frustrating. With a grumble (y/n) closed her eyes again. Breath in, breath out, repeat. On her 3rd deep breath out.

Clearly she wasn't gonna go back to sleep.  Quietly she got out of bed.

It was still slightly dark, but (y/n) could tell the sun was about to peek over the Horizon. She might as well start to make breakfast. Her light foot steps could be heard as she made it to the kitchen. (Y/n) got a pan and eggs and she started to make omelettes.

The girl thought she was quiet enough, but she didn't know Jack was such a light sleeper. Looking up from her pan she heard back enter the room.

"Oh.. I'm sorry did I wake you again?"

"No, I'm just a light sleeper." He leaned on the wall as he watched. "Its a bit early to cook isn't it?"

(Y/n) was silent for a bit. What should she tell him? 'I can't sleep?'

'I got hungry?' 'Going to work early?' She opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Jack sighed.

"You can't run on 2-3 hours of sleep (y/n)..."

Hearing jack, (y/n) exhaled. He was right, and she knew he was right so why couldn't she sleep? "I know... I can't live off of coffee... And I know you and Jessie are here to help me but... " (y/n) trailed off.

"Scared? You have a right to be so." He got up walking closer. His heavy boots hinting the floor.  (Y/n) listened to them as they got closer, before stopping by her. She looked up from the pan to see jack standing right there. Carefully jack put his hand on (y/n)'s shoulder.

"Ask your boss for the day off when you can, you need to replace, calm down and sleep." Again he was right, but she also knew how getting a day off could also leave her boss in a mean bitch mood. "(Y/n)" he spoke again after she flipped the omelette with out saying anything.

"...ok." she muttered softly. This made jack smile at (y/n).

He carefully moved to the counter and filled the coffee pot with water.

"How strong do you need it for today?"

(Y/n) smiled at the sweet gesture he had made. "I'm more.of.a sweet coffee person, but I'm gonna need it.strong, can't be sleeping at work."

Jack gave a hum as he started to make the coffee. The sun is now peeking out to say good morning. (Y/n) cooked two other omelette in silence before putting them on the table. Jessie wasn't gonna be up for a bit, he was more of a heavy sleeper. Breakfast was silent and quick.

Soon (y/n) got up and got ready for work. If she was gonna ask her boss for a few days off she needed to get there early. Oh this was gonna be one he'll of a day....

Now with the sun fully up, (y/n) walked out of the house and to work. As she got to town she could tell people were already busy. With a deep breath she walked into the bar. It was closed but her boss was already here. Probably already drinking again. She took a deep breath before knocking on his door.

"Sir it's me (y/n)." Silence hit her for a bit. She was gonna knock again but the door flung open. (Y/n) bit her lip. Good god how much has he drank already? The man was leaning on the wall with a sneer.

"Your late."

"Uh... No I am early? It's 6:40, not 7:30."

The man looked at his watch and sneered. "What ever, come in and get to work--"

"Sir before I work today I wanted to--"

"Shut up!! I said get to work!!" He snapped before going back to what he was doing. Ughh h this is gonna be a day...

All throughout the day (y/n) try to get the courage to talk to her boss. At Her lunch brake she tried to talk to.him again only this time he was slumped over snoring on his desk.

"I am not waking him up..." (y/n) remembered the last employee trying to wake him. Let's just say it got violent. And the person now refuses to work here. (Y/n) wanted a new job oh so bad, but no one else was hiring with the same pay.

Sighing she went back to the bar. It was slow now. She could hear the ticking of the clock. It was soothing. Slowly (y/n)'s eye lids where getting heavy. Super heavy. She had to stay up. She couldn't let her boss see. Quickly (y/n) slapped her face. She had to stay up or else her boss will get really mad.

Hours passed. Soon it was 4:00 then 5:00, then it got to 6, and so on. It was now 8:45. It was getting dark outside. (Y/n) couldn't take it anymore. She had to sleep. No matter how hard she tried to fight it. No matter how many times she slapped her face she was falling asleep. She leaned on the counter. (Y/n) couldn't tell how long they where out. Hours? Maybe it was just a few minutes.

"Just what the fuck do you think your doing!!!" Hands slammed down on the counter, and the man slurred his words.

With a shocking gasp (y/n) jumped awake, a hand over her fast beating heart. Oh... Oh it was way past closing time. No one else was in here. "Im... I'm sorry sir I'm just--"

"Is that all you say? I'm sorry?! You where asleep on the job!!" Oh god his breath reeked of beer. Oh god he was so mad. "Why the he'll do I even pay you?!"

"Sir i-- the reason I was asleep is cuz I am having trouble--"

"I don't care what trouble you have! I don't care if it's that damn vampire that you said that attacked you! In fact I think no vampire attacked you! No one else in this town has seen a vampire for a month and you just so happen to fucking find one?? Ha!!"

(Y/n) backed up when he had hit the counter again.

"Sir--"

"No!! Shut up before I make you!!"

"But--"

"I said shut the hell up!!"

It all happened so quickly. He was so quick to anger. He was so quick. to turn to violence. He was so quick to grab (y/n) and slam her in a wall. Fear struck (y/n) as she kicked and screamed.

"Stop screaming!!" He tried to shut her up. He tried pulling her hair, stepping on her feet, anything to get her to shut up!! The more she screamed the more the drunk man got angry, and soon punched her in the face.

(Y/n) fell to the floor covering her head. Oh god she should have gotten a new job... Her nose was bleeding but that wasn't the end of it. She winced and screamed when she was kicked in the side. Oh god, was he going to kill her!! Everything went fuzzy. (Y/n)'s eyes couldn't focus. Her breathing was heavy and it hurt. Before a second kick would land on (y/n) she had suddenly heard her boss struggle for air.

(Y/n) shouldn't have looked. There in front of her was reaper. His claw digging into his neck as he dangled him in the air. He was here... He was here in town!!! Fear struck (y/n). Oh god... Oh God! Reaper slammed her boss into the floor, not once, not twice, but three times. He was enjoying this kill. It made (y/n) want to vomit. He had a dark chuckle. Reaper was gonna drink his blood.

(Y/n) had.to get put of here. She was going to be next! Struggling to get up, she started to limp to the door, only to grip her side and fall over in pain. She sat there for a bit breathing heavy. Soon the was the only thing (y/n) could hear. Her breathing. That was until there was a loud thud. The corpse of Her now ex boss hit the floor.

"I should have killed that bastard a long time ago." His dark.voice hit (y/n)'s ears, making her whimper. She was next... His loud foot steps came closer and closer before stopping right by (y/n). She was going to die.

Slowly reaper knelt down. Her eye was already swollen, along with bruises on her side. The blood from her nose was barely dripping now.

Reaper reached a claw out. This is it. This is it. He was gonna kill her!! (Y/n)'s body tensed up in fear. Waiting for more pain.

But it never came. Instead his hand moved her hair to see how bad her black eye was gonna be. He was being careful to not hurt her anymore. (Y/n) was breathing heavy but confused. Reaper leaves no survivors... so why Her? Not only once now, but multiple times.

"Oh mi amor..." He muttered. mi amor? That was Spanish. What did that mean? Mi was my, (y/n) knew that much but amor? Where did she hear that....oh god... He just said my love!!

Carefully he helped her sit up. Did... Did he fall in love with (y/n)? He was so scary the first time they meet but that would explain why he didn't kill her, why he would brake in... why he would kill her boss. He was protecting her. It may have not (y/n) like a train but she still didn't trust this vampire.

Reaper looked into (y/n)'s eyes only.to quickly shoot his head up at the door and fade to smoke as the door burst open.

"(Y/n)!!" Jessie has his gun drawn out and quickly came over. "(Y/n) hold on I'm gonna get you help! Just stay with me."

A small whimper escaped (y/n) again. She was so tired. She was in such pain. She can't keep her eyes open. Her vision started to fade. She couldn't hear so well. She got light-headed. The next thing she knew it went black.

[critterreads]

Brian and Critter convo's

This is just a bunch of convo's that just make this one massive shitpost, Enjoy ;)

_

Me, whenever Brian says anything gay: Are you sure you're straight?

-

Me, giving Brian food in the middle of a recording session: Here is your food, asshat.

"Im in the middle of something."

"You've been in middle of something for the past 3 hours, eat, please."

"I'll cook me'self something when I'm done recording."

"We both know you cant cook for shit. .... Also hello Internet, and bye."

"YOU CANT JUST DO THAT SHIT, GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!"

the others are probably laughing at the convo

-

Me: I need death.

Brian: YOU ARE DEATH!

-

At the hotel for the convention that we all find out about each other. Brian and me got paired with one of the normal boys (Anthony, Marcel, Lui, Luke or Del [if he did]). We arrived first.

"You two are sharing a bed and I'll sleep on the couch."

"Ok, but why?"

"Well, one is that two to one when it comes to genders occupying this room. Two, I rather have the couch than a big bed and three, we both know how gay you're gonna be as soon as they get here."

"... Fair poi- WAIT, FUCK YOU!"

"Ik you mean fuck whoever is staying here."

"You're a lil' bitch."

"And you're obviously gay."

-

Me: makes a catholic joke

Brian: looks at me with a slight grin "Did you- really?"

"It's not like you're actually Catholic."

"You do have a point."

-

"Hey Brian, wanna go get Starbucks?"

his eyes widened "Did you say Starbucks?"

on our way back

"You're a Basic White Bitch."

"I know." sips his venti carmel blended latte

"That's not even the good shit too."

"Just cuz you fockin' can't have carmel doesn't mean it's not good."

"It's not just that, ... There is other good places besides Starbucks but you live in Ireland so you have no clue that there is better coffee."

"Ooh, so is lil' miss guardian gonna teleport me somwhere?" in a mocking tone

"One, Fuck tú. Two, I can't teleport. Three, I guess we just have to wait til we go to America."

-

Brian, in a call with the other bois who have guardians. "She calls me a 'Basic White Bitch'."

"Cuz you are one."

-

Brian: says something really gay while recording

Me: busting the door down "HA, GAAAYYYY!"

Also me: yelling from another room "AND THERE GOES TUMBLR!"

-

Me: shows Brian all the screenshots i have of him

Brain: "Omfg, I look good in all of these."

-

Ok, i can see Brian getting realy sick and him kinda panic cuz he hasn't recorded anything for a few days and im just like, "Relax, I can do it."

"Are you sure about that."

"Absolutely. I'll do a 'Reading mean comments video' and maybe do Mario Kart as well."

"You better not!"

"Well it's that or I read fanfics from tumblr."

"Ok, ... fine. You can do the fockin' comments video. Just don't be a asshole."

"No guarantees on that."

"You bitch."

Most of the 'Reading mean comments video' is me defending Brian by saying "As a person who has been living with him for the past 4 months, he's a jackass, but a nice one." Also answering some of the comments that have questions about me.The Mario Kart one is just me having fun even tho i vary with placing in each round.Funny thing is that his subs like the videos i did and keep tweeting him about them and hoping he feels better soon, so finally he gives in and watches them. After that, Brian starts a series on his channel callled "Terroriser vs. Critter" where me and him play 1v1 games and have fun.

-

Brian: sad and depressed

Me: in Waheela form, curled around him

"Dont you fockin do it."

sticks tounge out

"Dont you fockin dare."

licks him

"mumbles you lil bitch."

-

Brian: looking for one of his own merch shirts "Critter, have you seen a black shirt with my logo on it?!?"

Me: wearing it and holding a mug of coffee "I cant confirm or deny that I have."

"Why the fock did you take my shirt?"

"Cuz it's comfortable, ... it also hides my tits better than my shirts. I hate women's clothing."

"Ok then. ... Wait, how long have you been taking my shirts?!?!"

"About a month now, cuz it took me awhile to realize that you're about a size or two bigger than me."

-

Brian calls me into his room

"Do you ever get the urge to howl?"

"Brian, its 3 in the morning, why the fuck are you asking me this now?"

"You still didn't answer my question."

"If I answer it, will you go the fuck to sleep, cuz I cant sleep til you are asleep."

"Yes."

"Ok ... occasionally I do get the urge. You satisfied with my answer, motherfucker."

"Nope." has his cheeky grin on his face

"Don't you fucking think about it, I will make your life hell if you dare howl."

"It's not like you're gonna kill me."

"I will pull a Skye if you do."

stops grinning and rolls over in his bed "ok ... goodnight Critter."

"That's what I thought." finally leaves his room

-

(Im gonna reblog pt2)

[unknowngirl199424-blog]

Pt. 3

Now being the pretty innocent girl i was. I smoked weed very occasionally. Drank every now and then. But that was it really. I smoked cigs. Stupid choice i made at an even more stupid young age. I was 13 when i tried it. 15 when i started smoking every day. (My parents knew, they didn't care) my younger sister had been smoking for years. She partied a lot. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Took a lot of pills. Would steal my moms pain pills that she needed from the back surgeries. Mom would run out at the end of the month and would bawl... Literally wail in pain. And it never stopped my sister. I caught her several times. Id get pissed. Ask her wtf she was doing, or why... But she never stopped. I never told... I was drowning in depression. It started when i was 13. After my grandma passed. I changed... She was my world.

My parents partied ALOT!

Used LOTS of drugs...

Ranging from just weed, to coke, to meth...

The first half of my life... From birth till... 14? I think was when they quit all the hard shit for good. They were just... Mom and dad. I mean i loved them, i respected them, but... I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was normal for me to walk in and see light bulbs just randomly on the coffee table.

It was normal for me to wake my sis up in the morning, helping her get dressed, teeth brushed, food in her belly and out the door waiting on the bus. Every day. We lived in the country about 20 miles from town where our friends were. So all we had was each other. In the summer as soon as the sun started to show, 7:00ish. My parents would rush into our room. One would wake up me while the other would wake my sister. Rush us up and to get dressed and outside. We'd be outside alllllllllll day long in the summer in Oklahoma heat. They'd have friends over and lock the doors. We played. Sometimes the friends would bring their kids and we'd run around and play all day. I was a tom boy. I had scarred bloody knees almost daily from wrecking my bike. Would just walk around the property we lived on. Played with our dogs. Pissed off snakes that liked to live in the barn or chicken coop. I ran a lot. BUT IT WAS NORMAL TO ME. They started to quit when i was 12. Then grandma passed. They started again. Didn't stop for good until mom was hurt and dad was fired for pissing dirty for weed, coke, and meth. He was rehired 6 months later. But shit was rough at the time. So after losing my grandma. I went into myself. She loved me, took care of me. Gave me what i wanted and needed. I basically broke. I was never really an over joyous kid. I was raped and molested by my cousin. And so i always carried pain. But grandma was who made me happy. She passed. And from that point in my life from 13 to 18. I cut a lot. I was emotionless most days. But some days I'd break and cry for hours. For the longest time i thought i was depressed because of grandma. But i realized... Depression is a disease. And once you get a good dose of it, it stays. It twists and folds and wiggles its way into every fibre of your being and clings. And bad things that go on add to it and over time, you are eye level deep terrified you're gonna go under soon and no one will notice. Well over the years shit was added. Once I realised i could.... Not feel the pain and sadness... I latched on. Over time the occasional smoking weed went to every day several times a day. Drinking came up for awhile but i hated feeling like shit the next day so i quit. My ex gave me a pain pill one day.

I realised that not only could i get away from the pain and depression, i could feel fucking amazing while doing so. So it started out ya know. Once a week. Just one. To 2 a week to 4 a week to at least 1 every day. When we went up north. Pills were every where. Drugs in general. And i wanted to experience things. We had fun. Went lots of places. Did lots of things. Parties, festivals, fairs, amusement parks, museums, art museums, craft fairs, art stores, book stores, malls, movie theaters.. Just... it was great. I met her friends. They were like her. We partied a lot. I was soley living in the moment for once instead of striving to please everyone else. It was a stupid choice. But it was my choice. Over the years. The fun with it stopped... it became a nessecity. She got shitty and mean sober and i was just as miserable. I wanted happiness not that. Her dad would give us pain pills every day and muscle relaxers. If we did literally anything for him he'd pay us in pills. My ex was also prescribed pain pills too! We'd go through them so quick and then he'd give them to us so we didn't go through withdrawal. By year 3 (2015) I'm 21. I'm working a few months here a few months there. Living the same daily cycle. My day didn't start until pills were thrown down my throat. The habit got bad. I was to a point i was taking fucking handfulls of pills. Daily. And didn't feel ok until then. The few days i didn't have them, i literally slept all day and all night. I was burying my issues with a dark coping mechanism.

I started falling out of love. I left her once last year and we got back together the next day. I told her she couldn't keep stopping me from leaving because it was making me hate her. She wouldnt let go. We stayed together for 4 months. I broke up with her and moved back to oklahoma the beginning of this year. But she was my comfort. Pills were my comfort. After being here for 4 months i let her come back. It was bad. I got back into pills again and one day i told her i didn't want to be with her anyone. She was here for a month at that point. But she wasn't trying to work. She wouldn't do anything. But look for pills. I told her i was done. She gave me some pills. I didn't know what they were but she told me they were for anxiety. And i was really upset. So i took them. We kept arguing. She kept giving me more. My parents stopped by to drop something off, i guess i was wayyyyy out of it. They leave. The fight blows up. I tell her i want her gone. She kept refusing. Idk what happened. It was like a light switch went off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and sliced my wrist up for the first time ever... I only cut my stomach and thighs as a teen. She came around the corner and saw what i was doing and broke a glass vase i had. She ran over and grabbed the blade. Started yanking it from me. I guess we fought over it pretty hard cuz all i remember was it flying across the room and when i got back 6 days later it was soooo bent up.

She kept going and going and i grabbed a piece of glass and cut, she got it away and i just collapsed to the floor. She tried hugging me. I screamed at her for being toxic for me. To not touch me. To just call my mom. My mom shows up. Its like 11:30 at night at this point and she freaks out. My ex starts shit with her. They argue. I scream at them that they needed to stop and mom took me to the er. I guess by that point i was in and out of consciousness. One thing i do remember was seeing an old teacher that i had from yearrrrs ago when i went to a vocational school to become a certified nurse aid. I really looked up to her at 17. Admired her. She was a Dr there in the er. It was humialting. I cried. I guess i pissed in a cup for em or something. I don't remember. But they told my mom (which i didn't find out till almost a week later) that i was overdosing. That all of what i took hadn't caught up and that's why i was talking really crazy and blacking out. I don't remember. But the next morning i wake up. There was a cop sitting next to my bed. 20 mins later im being handcuffed and put in a cruiser and drove over a hr to a phych place. Guess the dr asked me the night before what would happen if i went home and i said i didn't know. So they legally put me there for 5 days so i couldn't be any harm to myself.

5 good things about being put there.

1. I had no access to pills, alcohol, even cigarettes. So i was very very clear headed. The first time in almost 6 years. Had time to think about where tf my life has landed me.

2. I realized how fucking truly bad our relationship was. And came to the conclusion that if we stayed together. One, if not both of us was gonna end up in a casket. Whether it be from pills or not. It was gonna happen.

3. I realized that i deserved wayyyy better. Relationship wise. Life wise. I deserved someone who could push me in the healthy direction. Make positive choices. I felt like instead of maturing, i was still trapped in an 18 yr olds mentality.

4. I ended it. And that time i meant it. There's nothing she could offer me. That would make me go back. Not a million dollars, not a billion, not even all the stars in the sky. I have nothing for her.

5. I met someone who treats me amazing now. Who pushes me. Keeps me away from the shit. I've been pain pill free for 5 months and its staying that way.

And for once... I'm starting to actually feel happy. Genuinely. I was prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, and a sleep disorder med. I stopped taking the anti depressants because they made it worse. But im to the point where the good days finally out weigh the bad. And when the bad come, i roll with it.

For the new year. I have a few goals.

1. Continue all the hard work ive put into myself. Keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep pushing myself forward. No more settling for less what what i truly want.

2. Stay tf away from pain pills. 👍 keep fighting that demon in me who whispers how good I would feel or how one wouldn't hurt...

3. Quit smoking cigs. They're killing me. My lungs hurt all the time.

4. Continue bettering my life. I got away from her for 4 months and i had my own home, vehicle, and a high paying easy job. Brought her back for a month, had a suicidal moment. But she's gone and im in a great relationship. And I'm fucking HAPPY!

5. Quit being so fucking hard on myself. I hate the way i look, i hate my body. But they can be changed. Stress over things that need it but relax more. I'm 24. I still have time.

I STILL HAVE FUCKIN TIME

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[twerkhammett]

1-154

Holy fuck, good thing I have a long train ride😂1. Full nameAngelica DeLillo2. Age213. 3 fearsFailure, getting snatched up one of these nights im on the train alone, losing the people i care about4. 3 things I loveNik, food, and our cat5. 4 turn onsBiting, slapping (ass face and tits), being tied up or held down, and when he gets that mean look on his face and i know hes gonna be really rough with me ugh6. 4 turn offsI have had these experiences with almost every person I've been with except Nik..bad hygiene, being rushed (you cum yet?), bad oral and when i tell them what would feel good they dont listen..and worst of all sex that feels half assed. They just want to cum real quick, theres no passion or effort, they don't care if they please you at all. Fucking horrible..7. My best friendIn cali my best friend here besides Nik is Ashley, and I get to live with them both its awesome! In Florida I cant choose one cuz ive known them all forever and love those dudes..Mels, Denzel, Brauston, and Alicia8. Sexual orientationBisexual9. My best first dateWith Nikolas obviously 😉10. How tall i am5'611. What do I missMy friends and family back home12: What time were I born3:55pm13: Favourite colorGreen14: Do I have a crushOn my boyfriend😂15: Favourite quoteIdk man16: Favourite placeHard to choose one, maybe my bed😂17: Favourite foodI hate favorites..pizza and wings18: Do I use sarcasmNever :)19: What am I listening to right nowSlayer 20: First thing I notice in new personIf they're fuckin rude or not21: Shoe size822: Eye colorBrown23: Hair colorLight brownish? Auburn?24: Favourite style of clothingBlack25: Ever done a prank call?Yup27: Meaning behind my URLKirk twerkin28: Favourite movieKung Fury29: Favourite songCant choose30: Favourite bandStill cant choose my dude31: How I feel right nowMeh32: Someone I loveNik33: My current relationship statusIn love af its disgusting34: My relationship with my parentsPretty good these days35: Favourite holidayHalloween36: Tattoos and piercing i haveNips, lips, and ears37: Tattoos and piercing i wantA lot, whenever i get the money..38: The reason I joined TumblrMels made me join lol39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?I don't think he hates me, but i hate his bitch ass..40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used to get them from Nik but we live together so now he can just tell me lol41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?This morning42: When did I last hold hands?Yesterday43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?15mins, its caffeinating myself that can take time44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?Noooope45: Where am I right now?On BART46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?Nik, been a while since thats happened tho47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Nope49: Am I excited for anything?For class to be over so i can relax lol...haven't even got there yet50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?Nik, Denzel, Brauston51: How often do I wear a fake smile?At work lmao52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Does my cat count? An hour ago lol53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?This would never happen, but I would go to jail if it did lol54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Not that i know of?55: What is something I disliked about today?Nik had to work early and I've been sexually frustrated af56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?James57: What do I think about most?Nik and food are tied i think58: What’s my strangest talent?Idk59: Do I have any strange phobias?Eh not really60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Behind61: What was the last lie I told?Not sure, probably at work lol62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?On the phone63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Aliens yeah64: Do I believe in magic?Nah65: Do I believe in luck?Not really66: What’s the weather like right now?64 and clear skys67: What was the last book I’ve read?Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Yesss69: Do I have any nicknames?Besides the ones Nik has for me no70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?Cut my knee open71: Do I spend money or save it?That shits gone pretty fast dont get to spend it on anything fun tho haha72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?Nah73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?My backpack has some pink on it74: Favourite animal?My cat😂75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Fucking76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Trump77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Nightcrawler78: How can you win my heart?Be Nikolas or James Hetfield79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Nothing80: What is my favorite word?Fuck81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrIdk man i like a lot of yall82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?Someone please assasinate the orange one83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Not that i know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Invisibility or time travel85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Not sure86: What is my current desktop picture?Some nature pic bc i havent change it87: Had sex?On a daily basis my dude88: Bought condoms?Yes89: Gotten pregnant?No90: Failed a class?Yup91: Kissed a boy?Yup92: Kissed a girl?Yep93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes, Nik94: Had job?Sadly95: Left the house without my wallet?Fucking yes!!!96: Bullied someone on the internet?No lol97: Had sex in public?A few days ago lmao98: Played on a sports team?Yep99: Smoked weed?This is where my extra money goes..sigh100: Did drugs?Nothing crazy but yeah101: Smoked cigarettes?Yes102: Drank alcohol?Yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Noo104: Been overweight?Nope105: Been underweight?Nope106: Been to a wedding?Yep107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Yes lol108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Yeah109: Been outside my home country?Not yet, but I plan on it110: Gotten my heart broken?Yeah couple years ago111: Been to a professional sports game?Yep112: Broken a bone?My finger lol113: Cut myself?A while ago114: Been to prom?Nope115: Been in airplane?Yes116: Fly by helicopter?No but I want to!!117: What concerts have I been to?Megadeth, Metallica, Exodus, Testament, Carcass, Slayer, Midnight, Kreator, Obituary, Children of Bodom, Rammstein, and a few more but those were the best ones118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Quite a few times119: Learned another language?Some German and some ASL120: Wore make up?I wear mascara121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yeah122: Had oral sex?Yupppppp123: Dyed my hair?Yes124: Voted in a presidential election?Yep!125: Rode in an ambulance?Nope126: Had a surgery?No127: Met someone famous?Nope128: Stalked someone on a social network?A while ago hahah129: Peed outside?Yep130: Been fishing?Yes131: Helped with charity?I donate to greenpeace monthly132: Been rejected by a crush?Sorta133: Broken a mirror?Im sure I have, I def had a big ass mirror fall on my fuckin head one time tho!134: What do I want for birthday?Some dick😂135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?2 max, no idea about names, havent thought about it much136: Was I named after anyone?No137: Do I like my handwriting?Its a bit sloppy but yeah138: What was my favourite toy as a child?Barbies lol139: Favourite Tv Show?DBZ😂140: Where do I want to live when older?The forest, somewhere in Colorado maybe141: Play any musical instrument?Not well lol142: One of my scars, how did I get it?Accidentally stabbed myself at work143: Favourite pizza toping?Mushrooms144: Am I afraid of the dark?No, I need it to sleep145: Am I afraid of heights?A bit146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes lmao, many times by my dad usually147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Did you mean my last relationship😂😂148: What I’m really bad atProcrastination149: What my greatest achievments areGetting the fuck out of fl, some of my artwork, learning to cope with my depression150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meProb something my ex said lol151: What I’d do if I won in a lotteryQuit my job, build a house, and open a cave bar (me and Ashley were just talkin about that)152: What do I like about myselfWell i guess i never stop trying even tho i fuck up a lot hahah153: My closest Tumblr friend@stalkhome-sindrone probably😁154: Something I fantasise aboutA stable income...Thanks for that big ass ask my anonymous dude!!😂To the rest of my followers, sorry for the long post and some of the tmi questions😊

[those-bulletproof-boys]

LOL Prince AU for Yoongi

Lol so remember that time i was all jazzed about writing a prince au for yoongi and it was gonna be long af lol that didnt happen i got discouraged and never finished it but i teased it a heck ton for yall and even tho im never gonna finish it I thought yall deserved to at least get what I had because like idk i teased it you should get a little bit e ven tho it prob wont ever get any longer. Sorry. Its really fucking long cuz I was planning on breaking it up but i cant be bothered so if youw anna read it go ahead if you dont thats ok. Love yall!! <3

Published: October 31st, 2017

Word count: ~14,459 Words

{Also I haven’t read this since I posted it and I didnt edit it obvi so like its gonna be shit just be prepared.}

“Your highness, it’s time for you to wake up.”

Yoongi squeezed his eyes closed against the sudden light that surrounded him that he recognized as the maid opening the curtains of his bed chamber. He groaned and flipped onto his stomach to press his face into the pillow that had been under his head all night.

“Your highness, I’ve been instructed to awaken you.”

The voice came again, but it sounded closer. Yoongi sighed and removed his face from the pillow before turning to look around the room and spot the owner of the voice. His hair fell into his face and he could feel his loose sleep-shirt hanging off his shoulder.

The voice itself had been unfamiliar to Yoongi, but the face was definitely someone that he had never seen before. The girl that stood 4 feet from Yoongi’s bed, with eyes as large as the mood at his sudden movements, had hair that fell in curtains around her face. Her eyes were bright and, at the moment, full of...was it fear?

Immediately, the girl fell into a curtsey, her head bowed and her hair falling over her face. “Good morning, your highness,” She said quietly.

Yoongi just looked at the girl before him. “I’m awake,” he said in a monotone voice.

The servant looked up, “I beg your pardon, your highness?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Your job is to wake me up. I’m awake.” She blinked. “You can leave now,” he finished with a pointed look.

Her mouth opened and closed before she understood his words and rushed out the door. Yoongi let out a sigh before the door flung open again and the girl was back. She frantically curtsied and flew out the door again, clearly still flustered.

Yoongi chuckled as he raised his arms over his head and began stretching, pulling himself into the world of the awake.

“Ah Yoongi, good morning,” An older man called from the head of the table as servant flitted around him, bringing and taking away plates from around him, constantly.

Yoongi looked around as he walked through the doors into the elaborate dining hall. The table before him could easily hold up to 30 guests, but only 2 places were set. He made his way to the end of the room before taking his seat next to his father. “Good morning, Father,” he responded as he continued to try to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

A servant placed a large plate of breakfast foods before Yoongi and he picked at it with his fork and knife, his mind wandering to other lands. “Yoongi?” His father called.

Yoongi continued eating, not hearing the voice calling his name.

“Yoongi?” He called, a bit louder.

Yoongi’s eyes cleared and he turned to look at the man next to him. “Yes, sir?”

His father looked at him. “Is your mind elsewhere, son?” Yoongi nodded reluctantly, his eyes apologetic. “Very well, but your first lesson is in Mathematics and I would advise against such daydreaming until World Geography.” Yoongi nodded reflexively as his father swallowed the last bite of food on his plate and stood up, his shoulders broad and strong.

Yoongi stood respectfully as his father turned to him. “Good day, son,” the older man said. Yoongi watched the servants bow to him as he walked out of the room, but as soon as the door was closed, he slumped back into his seat and resumed picking at his food, dreading the day ahead.

As much as he tried to hold it back, his mind eventually began to wander as his mathematics lesson dragged on and on. Mathematics had never been his strong point, and no matter how hard he tried, he knew that it would always be one of his weaknesses, not a good thing if you’re expected to govern a country someday and deal with it’s financials.

Every since Yoongi could remember, he could remember spending his entire mornings at lessons for anything and everything, changing every day. Supposedly they were all supposed to teach him how to take after his father, the King, when he died, Yoongi couldn’t even imagine his father passing away because of the strong grip that he constantly had on the country that had grown to rely on him for everything. If he died, everything would collapse...unless Yoongi was able to take over seamlessly.  

“Prince Yoongi?”

Yoongi looked up to see his teacher waiting for his answer and his face grew red in embarrassment, knowing that his mind had travelled to a foreign land.

His teacher sighed.

The only class that could truly capture Yoongi’s attention was, contrary to his father, World Geography. Learning about the world around him and all the places, that he hoped to be able to visit someday, banished any other thoughts away, keeping his mind in place. From the moment he walked into the lesson, his teacher had his entire attention.

He walked out of that class, his last for the day, and slowly began to make his way back to his room until his sword wielding lesson in an hour. As he made his way through the castle, maids and servants here and there would stop their actions and curtsey, but none of the faces were familiar. The walk to his bed chamber blurred together and before he knew it he stood at his door, his hand on the handle.

Lazily, he turned the piece of metal under his hand and swung the door open. It took a few moments until his eyes registered the other body in the room, dusting the top of his dresser. His eyes widened at the sight, mainly because his room was always already clean by the time he came back, and he squinted, trying to see which servant had been taking so long at their job.

Her back was towards him and he couldn’t see anything except her long hair that fell down the back of her uniform. Impatiently, Yoongi coughed into his palm, trying to pull the girl’s attention towards him.

Immediately, the figure spun around, her mouth open in shock and her eyes as wide as they had been this morning. Her head dropped after half a second as she dropped into a curtsey, but Yoongi had already seen her face and recognized her as the maid that had come to wake him up that morning.

“Your highness,” Her voice cracked, clearly from nerves, “I’m so sorry, I’m behind schedule and haven’t finished with your bedroom.”

Yoongi looked her up and down as he focused on the rag in her right hand and the black smudges, presumably from his fireplace, that went up her left arm. Her head was still bowed and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“What’s your name,” He asked as he began walking towards her.

With her head still bent, she responded in a surprisingly steady voice, “My name is Y/n, your highness.”

“Why are you behind schedule?” Yoongi asked, his voice flat.

Y/n gulped, “I–”

Yoongi interrupted her, “Look at me,” He said sternly. Slowly she raised her head and looked at Yoongi with the bright eyes that he had seen this morning, but now they shook with growing fear.

Slowly, she breathed out and started her sentence again. “I am behind schedule because I am not yet used to my chores, your highness.”

Yoongi nodded. “Are you part of the recently hired help?” he asked, his eyes studying her face for any hint of familiarity that could show that she had been here longer.

Y/n nodded, “Yes, sir, I started work yesterday.”

The boy took a step forward until he stood inches in front of y/n. Her eyes dropped immediately by reflex and Yoongi sighed. He leaned head down until his lips were centimeters from her ear as she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to turn away. “Next time, be out of my room by the time I’m done with my lessons,” He said, venom lacing through his voice as his exhaustion that had built throughout the morning was released to an innocent maid. Y/n’s head snapped up as Yoongi took a step back, her eyes wide with fear and her lips parted slightly, like she was about to say something.

“You can leave now,” He said tiredly. He watched as Y/n curtsied, her eyes back on the carpet, and walked out the door, her arm still stained with soot.

A breath made its way out of Yoongi’s mouth as he fell onto his bed, letting his eyes close and his body melt into the cushions beneath him to rest.

Another unfamiliar voice snuck its way into Yoongi’s ears the next morning. The night before, he had been up late, and now his body was cursing him, begging for more sleep. “Your highness, it’s time to wake up,” it said.

Yoongi was sure that he had never heard that voice before and decidedly pulled his blanket up over his head, efficiently blocking out the noise. “Your highness?” The voice came again, a bit less timid and Yoongi groaned.

“Go away!” He shouted in a groggy voice from under the fabric. Frantic footsteps receded into the distance and Yoongi smiled at his small victory before turning and burrowing the side of his face into his pillow again.

Abruptly, the door to Yoongi’s bedroom opened again and slow, timid steps made their way to his bed. Convinced that it was the same servant as before, Yoongi groaned before throwing the quilts off himself and pulling himself into a sitting position, a snarl on his face. His hair sat in a knotted nest on top of his head and his undershirt was untied, showing the upper part of his chest and his collarbones.

Y/n jumped at the sudden movement and stared at the boy before her with wide eyes that Yoongi had grown accustomed to. Yoongi stared at them, blinking. Apparently they had sent in y/n to wake him when the other maid could not. Seconds passed as they stared at eachother before y/n dropped to a curtsey, her eyes back to focusing on her toes.

“Prince Yoongi, I’ve been sent to awaken you.”

Yoongi blinked at the first usage of his name with his title to come from her mouth and it took him a moment to compose himself, because every servant in the castle referred to him as “Your majesty.”

“I’m awake,” He said, repeating his words from yesterday, but with less bite in his voice.

“Very well, your majesty,” She said as she curtsied and left the room.

Minutes passed as Yoongi sat, with his chin in his hands, staring at the place that y/n had stood just a little while before. Before anymore servants could tell him to get up, he stepped out of bed and began to dress for the day.

As soon as Yoongi stepped through his door, his eyes landed on y/n standing just a few feet away from the door, her hands clasped together, her eyes lowered. Slowly, she curtsied without raising her eyes. “Your majesty,” She said, her voice steadier than normal.

Yoongi closed his eyes and inhaled deeply through his nose before letting it out and opening his eyes. He raised his hand to rub between his eyes, already tired moments after waking up. “Wait until I’ve already left to go into my room to clean. Don’t wait at the door; I should never see you. Be invisible, y/n,” The prince said before brushing past her and started down the path to the breakfast table without looking back.

He’d only walked a few feet when he heard a small, “Yes, your majesty,” Come from behind him and heard his bedroom door open and close. A small smile appeared on his usually stoic face and a maid’s eyes widened at the change from a few feet away as she dusted the corridor’s ornamentations.

“Son?”

The king’s voice broke through Yoongi’s head on the third try and his eyes snapped up to his father’s immediately. The line of thought that had been traveling through Yoongi’s brain was immediately broken off. “Yes, sir?” The boy responded.

His mind had been traveling to the events of that morning, trying to piece together why he hadn’t just fired y/n when she clearly wouldn’t be able to perform her chores properly. Yoongi had never had any trouble firing insufficient help, but something about y/n restrained that reflexive reaction.

“What is it with you spacing out lately?” His father said impatiently, not bothering to continue with his previous thought.

Yoongi dropped his head. “I just have a lot on my mind at the moment. I’m sorry, Father.” The king nodded as he took a bite of food. Yoongi looked up tentatively, “What are my lessons today, Father?” He asked, curious as to why his father hadn’t assigned anything yet.

The king’s head sat, resting on his hands as he sighed. “Nothing today, Yoongi. Some things are going on and I didn’t have time to plan anything. Just study what you know, for today.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened at the unfamiliar response before a grin split across his face and he leaped from his seat. He quickly bowed to his father, and rushed out of the room, his body light and happy. Immediately, he made his way to the back doors, commonly used by the help, and ran through them, heading towards the stables. His breathing was heavy, but his heart was light and he hadn’t felt this happy or free in months.

A ragged breath tumbled from his mouth as he slowed to a walk and opened the doors of the stables. A man, tending to the horses, was the first thing in his field of vision. The man turned around, surprised at the sudden intrusion before falling to a bow.

“Your majesty, how can I help you today?” He asked, his eyes focused on the ground in front of his feet.

Yoongi’s heart continued to beat heavily as his wide eyes stared around the large building, its familiar smells filling his nose. “Where is Holly?”

The man straightened and nodded before walking down the aisle between stalls. “Follow me, your highness; she’s right this way, her morning bath has just finished and she has been eating well.”

Yoongi’s smile grew, a sight that the man was familiar with whenever a conversation was about the Prince’s horse. “Thank you for taking special care of her,” Yoongi said, bowing his head slightly towards the man in appreciation. The man’s cheeks filled with color at the kind words and continued walking.

Moments later, they both stopped before a large stall with a sign that read “Holly” on the door. Yoongi’s smile leaked into his eyes as he stared at the horse that brought him such happiness. Slowly he stepped towards the door that separated him from his animal, his face alight, and pressed himself against the bars. As if my instinct, Holly looked up from her eating to see the Prince at her door.

The stable hand stepped away, confident that the prince knew how to saddle himself up for his impending ride. The worker was always surprised to see this side of the prince whenever he came to the stables. He had heard of the fear that he struck into the workers in the castle, but every time that he had seen the prince, his face had been happy and lit with a smile; the worker felt honored to experience this side of the boy.

He turned to walk away when he heard the prince’s voice. “Thank you for taking care of her, again.” The  boy’s voice was soft, and the servant turned to see him stroking the horse's face through the bars, his eyes full of adoration.

The man bowed before responding. “It is my pleasure your majesty.”

As the man disappeared into another stall at the other side of the room, Yoongi grabbed the key that hung by the door of the stall that he stood in front of and excitedly opened the lock. Immediately the door slid open and Yoongi rushed in to embrace his equestrian friend. Instead of backing away, as most horses would at the sudden movements, Holly moved just as fast to meet the young prince.

“Oh Holly,” Yoongi breathed against her mane as he pressed his face into the side of her neck, “I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner, Father has had me busy with Mathematics and other classes.”

Holly snorted in disgust and a laugh tumbled from Yoongi’s mouth.

“I feel the same way, but he said I have nothing to do today. Would you like to go for a ride in the forest?” A whinnie of agreement met Yoongi’s ears and his cheeks began to hurt from smiling too much.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Holly stood completely still as Yoongi did his own work to prepare her for a ride. His father would let a servant saddle his horse for him, but Yoongi preferred to handle Holly himself.

Minutes later, Yoongi was atop his house, galloping across the acres of land that surrounded the castle, reveling in the wind that blew across his face and the feeling that he was free to ride wherever he wanted.

As soon as he disappeared into the treeline, the air around Yoongi became colder, combined with the wind that was created from the speed at which he was traveling and soon he was shivering, but didn’t dare stop. Holly wanted to continue as much as he did, begging for more speed. Although the stable hands fed and washed her well, she received very little exercise, usually in the form of a walk around the property–nothing close to this speed.

The path through the trees winded on the uneven ground, but both knew it like they knew each other. Yoongi barely needed to touch Holly to get her to go in the right direction. Half an hour passed and Yoongi could feel Holly growing tired under the intense running. Slowly he began pulling back on the reigns until Holly slowed to a walk, breaths tearing out of her as well as Yoongi. The sun hours away from high noon, and the air around Yoongi, dark by the intense foliage, was cool against his sweat covered skin. Holly walked for a few minutes until they came to a familiar clearing. As usual, Holly had grown tired near the same place she always did, and after a few minutes of walking they would come upon the place that Yoongi called home more than the palace.

As Yoongi dismounted, Holly nudged him impatiently. With a smile, the boy pulled out a handful of oats, that he had stolen from the stable, from his pocket and held them out to his horse. As a safety precaution, Yoongi slid the reigns over a low hanging branch from a nearby tree. He sighed, happily, as he turned to the large tree that loomed larger and taller than all the rest. Although all the trees in the clearing were ideal climbing trees, this was clearly the king.

Eagerly, he rushed to the trunk of the tree and became enveloped in its intense shadow caused by thick foliage. He untucked his shirt from his pants and shed his heavy, royal jacket before latching his hands onto the lowest branch, almost 7 feet above the ground, and pulling himself up to that his arms held his waist even with the branch.

Although Yoongi looked slight on the outside, the intense training working with swords that his father required had created muscles that disappeared under his daily clothes but reappeared in times of need. Even apart from that training, Yoongi himself worked out, longing to be stronger. Although he knew that no one in the palace would dare to endanger his life, he had heard of citizens and commoners fighting back to soldiers and endangering the lives of other royals.

Reflexively, Yoongi pulled his right leg up to rest comfortably on the branch that he had pulled himself up to. After this, most of the branches were fairly close to each other. As familiar and comfortable as a stairway, Yoongi made his way up the tree, staying close to the trunk and stepping on branches that were sturdy and stay away from those that weren’t. He had learned the difference through experience.

A breeze flowed around Yoongi as the blanches became sparser and sparser and the trunk thinned. What had started at a 5 foot diameter had become barely 2 feet wide. The wind that blew began to make the tree sway under his feet, a feeling that he had grown accustomed to through many adventures.

A few feet later, Yoongi came to the part of the tree where all but a few branches fell away. A large branch was in front of him and easily, he took a seat on it, completely comfortable. Through the minimal leaves, Yoongi could see the forest surrounding him and in the distance was the parapets of the castle, sticking into the sky. The wind engulfed Yoongi and he lazily closed his eyes as he wrapped his arm around the tree trunk to steady himself. To his right, a 90 degrees difference compared to the castle, Yoongi knew was the people’s town. None of the buildings stuck past the tops of the trees but from knowledge of the land’s geography and the obvious gap in the trees indicated its existence.

Ever since Yoongi had first seen the town on a map, he had wanted to see it for himself, and ever since he had see it with his own eyes from this vantage point, he had longed to walk its streets.

Time passed and soon the young princes hair had become a complete nest by the wind and the sun stood at high noon in the clear sky. Reluctantly, Yoongi began making his way back down the tree to the ground, hating every step from this safe space. Although getting out of the castle and into the forest was uncommon, he came here almost every time to clear his thoughts of the royal affairs that constantly hung over his head.

Although slightly out of breath, Yoongi felt relaxed as his feet hit hard-packed dirt. Immediately, he felt something tug on his hair and turned to see Holly walking behind him to follow his head and nibble his hair affectionately.

“Holly!” Yoongi laughed as he tried to reach behind himself and pull his locks free from her mouth. She only nickered in response and Yoongi giggled as her lips brushed against the back of his neck, touching the tickling part of his body. A laugh spilled out of his lips and he pulled out of Holly’s grip. He pulled the horse into an embrace with a smile on his face.

Languidly, Yoongi pulled himself into the saddle after feeding Holly another handful of oats. At a slower pace than they had traveled at on their way there, they set off to go back to the castle.

An hour later, Yoongi slid off the back of his ride and stood beside her heavily breathing frame. “Good girl,” He cooed at she led her to the closest stable hand, a familiar face, and handed her off to have a wash and be fed well after a final farewell kiss from her prince.

Relaxedly, the boy made his way to the front of the castle and walked through the door that were held open by a pair of guards, seemingly ready and waiting for his arrival.

As soon as he had stepped through the doors, the scents of lunch wafted up to his nose and his mouth began watering. He pushed the doors to the dining hall open and his eyes grew wide at the large display of meats and vegetables along with drinks and sweets. At the head of the table sat his father, already burying his face in an abnormally large piece of meat.

“Wow, Father this looks amazing,” Yoongi said as he made his way to his usual seat at his father’s side. The older man looked up barely focusing on his son.

“Ah, Yoongi you’re here” His father asked, a drop of grease from his meat making it’s way down his chin as he picked up his cup of wine and took a deep drink, his eyes glassy, seemingly unable to focus on anything before him.

Yoongi collapsed into his seat beside the older man with a smile and took a moment to respond. “It is gorgeous today, Father, the woods are beautiful as so is the sky.”

A tiny smile grew on the King’s face and they sat in silence for a few moments, the King clearly deep in thought as Yoongi began digging into his own plate of food.

Abruptly, the king spoke again. “I must go,” he said before standing up and stepping away from his chair.

Yoongi looked up, confused. Normally, his father spent much longer at the meals than he did, arriving before him and leaving long after. “Father?”

The king nodded, ignoring the questioning tone in his son’s voice, but even Yoongi knew that something must be happening for his father to act this way. He walked towards the door and before Yoongi knew it, he was steps away as it was being opened for him.

“Father, what is the schedule for the afternoon?” Yoongi called, just a second too late as the door closed behind his father’s figure. He fell against the back of his chair, confused by his father’s actions; usually at their lunch together, he would be told his schedule for the afternoon, similar to breakfast. He couldn’t remember his father ever just walking out on him during lunch without any information.

Every blue moon, the king would let his son have a morning off, releasing him from the grueling lessons and boring interactions. It was times like these when Yoongi would explore the palace grounds in depth or spend hours with Holly or just wandered through the most secret parts of the castle, but never before had the King left him an empty afternoon. Although his mind was curious as to his father’s actions, he wasn’t about to let an afternoon pass him by.

He stood from his place at the table and began to make his way towards the door. Servants avoided him as they began to walk towards the table to clean it up, their lips loose with gossip now that the king was gone. Normally he could ignore the gossip, but a familiar name caught his ear from the mouth of a younger woman as she began to pick up the plate of ham.

“I walked past Y/n today while she was working; she’s so behind I don’t think she’s going to make it here,” The woman said, shaking her head impatiently.

Her friend, a larger woman that had begun to clear the wine glasses tsked her tongue. “What a poor child, this is so important to her.”

Yoongi realized that he had stopped mid step while listening to the women’s conversation. Before they could notice him, Yoongi rushed out the door of the dining hall, his eyebrows furrowed.

The words slowly disappears from his consciousness as he began to walk towards his room, desperate to wash up after his ride, and excited to have the rest of the day to himself.

Happiness was coursing through his veins so intensely as he opened the door to his bedroom that he didn’t even register the second person inside when he walked through, closed the door behind him, and began removing his shirt to prepare to wash up.

He curled his fists into the fabric that rested against his shoulder blades and tugged the shirt over his head so that it sat in his hands in front of his torso.

A shriek sounded from the other side of the room and Yoongi jumped before looking up, surprised. A familiar girl in a maid’s uniform stood cowering against the curtains that sat to the sides of the large window at one end of the prince’s room. A feather duster was held in one hand while the other covered her eyes.

Yoongi’s wide eyes returned to normal size as he groaned. “Why are you still here?” He said as he casually threw his dirty shirt onto his freshly made bed.

Y/n kept her hand over her eyes before curtsying. “I’m sorry, your highness, cleaning the curtains has taken more time than I expected. I’ll be leaving,” She said before curtseying again. She removed her hand from her eyes, but kept it at an angle so as to shield herself from seeing him.

“Are you done?”

Y/n looked up at the sudden words from her superior, forgetting that he was shirtless and suddenly finding it hard to figure out where to look. “Pardon me?” She asked, her voice trembling.

Yoongi sighed, “Are you done cleaning the curtains?” He scanned the room impatiently, “Or the fireplace for that matter? It looks filthy.”

Y/n’s cheeks flushed and her breathing shook. “Unfortunately, Prince Yoongi, I have not finished either of those tasks. I am still unfamiliar with cleaning your bedroom and have yet to learn how to work effectively.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and suppressed the way that his heart jumped when she said his name. “I could have you fired, you know. Most maids we pick have already learned this by the time they start. You should’ve been done long before I got here; what did I tell you about being invisible, y/n.”

Terror flashed across y/n’s eyes as she dropped to her knees reflexively, staring straight into Yoongi’s eyes. “No, your majesty, please. I need this job, I promise that I will do better in the future.”

Yoongi’s eyes softened at the girl’s readiness to protect her station and his mind flitted back to the gossip that he had heard in the dining hall. A breath escaped his lips, “Get back to work. I hope that you’re done by the time that I come back out.” He turned on his heel and walked into his bathroom before closing the door and pouring the already prepared and properly heated water into his tub. He finished stripping before stepping into the water and washing all the thoughts scattered around his head away.

As the time passed, Yoongi heard y/n’s actions in the other room through the door. At first he could hear her trying to get the dust off the curtains and moments later would hear the clang of a metal poker hitting the metal fireplace grate.

Although his bath was normally silent, the noise from the other room was unusually enjoyable, trying to guess what she was working on based on the different sounds.

Yoongi sighed contentedly as he fastened the front of his new undershirt closed and pulled a new jacket over it after stepping from his bath and pulling on trousers. His hand reached out to grab the handle of the door to his bedchamber but hesitated. Seconds passed as he stood, waiting for any sounds to indicate that y/n was still in the room as he knew that the sounds had stopped a few minutes ago. Finally, he turned the handle decidedly after taking a deep breath, and strode confidently through the door.

His eyes scanned the room, expecting to see y/n somewhere, dusting something, but instead only saw a flash of a skirt whisk through his main door and heard the door close.

Refreshed, he walked over to his window overlooking the garden and pondered what he could do for the rest of his rare free afternoon.

Yoongi’s hand wrapped around the knob of his door and he pulled on it, opening it reveal the hall in his wing of the castle. He scanned the hall around him and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that no one else was there.

Slowly, the prince walked down the corridor before turning down a hall and following the familiar path to a bedroom that sat unused in the opposite wing of the castle. The dining hall, his father’s bedchamber, Yoongi’s bed chamber, and the servants quarters were all in the west wing, and when he wanted alone time, Yoongi tended to either go to the forest, the stables, or the east wing.

His boots made no sound as he walked down the carpeted hall that he knew ran parallel to the face of the palace. If he was to peek into one of the many bedrooms on the right side of this hall, a window would sit across from the door and show the gardens that sit behind the Palace, but one of these bedrooms was not where Yoongi was headed. Occasionally, though, as he walked, he would hear the whispered voices inside one of these rooms. His excess of his time allowed him to stop and listen whenever he heard anything he wanted to listen to. Usually, the voices would just be complaining about their lack of a love life or how much their back ached from cleaning fireplaces, but at one point, he heard his own name.

“I can’t believe y/n has been sent to wake up the prince two days in a row,” The voice said, annoyance clearly lacing her voice.

Another, lower, voice was introduced, an equal amount of distaste evident. “Isn’t it like her first week working here? Who decided that as her job; I’ve been working here for years and I’ve only seen the prince’s face in passing.”

A gasp sounded from the woman with the higher voice. “You’ve seen him up close? I’m almost always stuck in this wing of the palace or in the basement, I’ve only seen the back of his head since arriving here two years ago,” The first woman whined. “That lucky bitch, it’s probably because she’s so youthful and pretty.”

“I’m youthful and pretty,” the deeper voice spat under her breath “The head maid is probably just giving her special treatment because of her mother.”

A sudden whack sounded and the lower voice whimpered. “What was that for?” It asked, clearly confused as to what it did to deserve this treatment.

“Shh,” The higher voice responded, wary of something. “We’re going to get in trouble for talking like that; we’re not supposed to know about it.”

“Well you didn’t tell me it was a secret when you told me.”

“You idiot, let’s just get back to work,” The woman with the higher voice responded, obviously not wanting to continue the conversation anymore.

Reluctantly, Yoongi turned his ear from the room that contained the two women and looked around the still empty corridor. He began walking again as he mulled over what he had just heard.

Two turns later and Yoongi stood in front of a lone door at the end of a short hallway. Tentatively he looked around him to confirm that none of the servants that continuously travelled around the castle were in sight before pulling the door open and ducking inside. He turned and gently pressed the wooden door back into its place until a soft click echoed around the room to notify the prince that it was closed again.

A breath floated out of his voice as he closed his eyes and breathed in the smells of the familiar room. Excitedly, he turned away from the door and scanned the room around him.

It was a relatively large room with couches scattered around the closer half of it. Amidst the couches were singular chairs to fill spaces and a few tables to set tea or plates of delicacies. In the second half of the room were various stands for sheet music and musical instruments scattered here and there, currently silhouettes because of the sun shining through the wall of windows behind them as it slowly made it’s way to it’s daily grave. Yoongi squinted as the bright light bounced off the white sheets that covered all of the furniture around the room.

Slowly, with his hand shielding his eyes, he walked through the various seats around him until he passed the midpoint of the room and began to walk among musical stands. The vast majority of instruments themselves were stored in another part of the castle and well looked after daily, but their stands and seats stayed in this room for conveniency.

Yoongi continued pulling himself through the room until he came to a large object, barely a few feet in front of the windows, completely covered in a white sheet; however, he didn’t need to uncover the object to know what it was. Through a multitude of visits to the West Wing, Yoongi had found this room to be his favorite place inside the castle.

His hand fluttered up to barely brush against the fabric. A small smile began to spread across his face; after moments of his hand hovering just above the object, he collected a fistful of fabric and pulled it upwards and towards him, causing a cloud of settled dust to be released into the air.

The sudden contrast of black against the white fabric that had been laid on top of it, combined with the warm yellow-orange light that was coming through the windows, as sunset approached, took the Prince’s breath away.

Impatiently, Yoongi rushed to take his seat on the small stool that sat in front of the grand piano. His breath rattled out of him at the comfort of his first love that he hadn’t seen in months. Hesitantly, his hands fluttered inches above the ivory keys as he sat, unsure of where to start again.

In a spontaneous motion, he pressed his naturally spaced fingers down onto their respectful places to create a chord. He breathed a sigh closed his eyes as he let the sound flow around him and echo off the walls of the large empty room.

Habitually, his hands began to move up and down the keyboard as his eyes fell to watch them move across the ivory. Chords and melodies floated out of the closed lid as the music was created on the strings and the notes bounced around the room.

Delighted by the rhythm that he was able to attain after months without practice, a smile spread across his face before he stilled his hands in thought, pondering what song he could play all the way through.

Immediately his hands rested in their starting places for Passacaglia in D minor. With just enough force to create a clear sound, he pushed his hands onto the keys in front of him and began to play. If the chords that his hands had created moments before had been evening sunbeams and new violin color, this song was the beginning of twilight and marble busts. The dark emotions portrayed in the notes gave Yoongi chills even as he played it years after he’d learned it.

Reflex began to take over as he fell into the rabbit hole of piano, his hands moving there they needed to without his command. His eyes closed and he only opened them to peek at his hands during an especially technical part.

His body felt like it was covered in a large warm blanket that the Prince was familiar with: the blanket of creating music. Whenever he played, his head felt lightheaded and his body felt warm and comforted physically, like the music notes were wrapping around his frame and producing heat.

So focused on the music that he was creating, Yoongi failed to hear the sound of the door being opened. Drawn by the unfamiliar sound of music flowing through this wing of the castle, Y/n had followed the sound to the end of this hall. Reluctantly, she had pulled the door open and walked in to see a boy sitting at the piano.

Having cleaned this room yesterday, Y/n was familiar with the layout, but she had not seen the piano uncovered at the time when she had been instructed to dust the tables.

The piano was still closed, but the sounds being produced from it were just as strong as they would normally be, and just as beautiful as the boy making them.

The sun had really begun to set within the past half hour and the golden light that flooded through the window encompassed the figure that sat with perfect posture in front of the piano. Their silhouette had a halo of light around them and y/n’s breath caught in her throat as she saw them. Unconsciously, she pulled her body towards the music, making her way through the room silently.

As she came closer, Y/n began to be able to distinguish features of the boy before her. His hair sat, slightly curly, in a short black mop; it looked damp but messy. His eyes were closed, and his eyelashes rested gently on the top of his cheekbones which stood out prominently on his pale skin.

His clothes had been drowned in darkness, but as y/n grew closer, she began to be able to distinguish the buttons and facets of his jacket. Her eyes strained to see the details of a small metal ornament on the left side of his chest; she was still multiple feet away, out of Yoongi’s field of vision and his eyes were closed.

She inched forward until she could make out the details of the metal piece and the rest of his jacket. When she did, she gasped and fell onto her knees, her forehead pressed to the floor.

Startled by the sudden sound, Yoongi looked around to see a servant, kneeling on the ground, in front of him with her face against the carpet and her hair splayed around her. He jumped to his feet, shocked by the sudden presence of someone else in the room and shouted.

“What are you doing here?” Yoongi bellowed. The figure on the floor flinched and began shaking. “Why didn’t you make your presence known? Why did you even come in here?”

When the prince’s voice ceased, his ears registered the sound of crying. He looked down at the small frame and realized that the servant was just a girl.

Seconds passed as Yoongi tried to regain proper breathing. When he had counted to 10 and his breath had returned to normal, he stepped forward until the tips of his shoes were inches from the hands of the servant. “Stand up,” He said, his voice calm and steady.

Immediately the cries of the girl grew louder. “Please your highness, I just followed the music I didn’t know that it was you until I got closer,” A small wobbling voice traveled through the hair that shrouded the figure’s head and reached her superior’s ears.

Yoongi crossed his arms over his chest. “Who are you,” He asked straightforwardly.

“Please, your high–”

“Who are you?” Yoongi shouted, his patience wearing thin. “Just tell me and I can figure out what to do with you!” Nothing in response. He sighed and resorted to another approach. “If you don’t tell me who you are, I’ll fire you right here and now.”

Immediately the figure shot into an upright position, still on her knees. She frantically brushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up to meet the Prince’s. “My name is y/n, Prince Yoongi, I am the servant that cleans your bedchamber. Please sir, you’ve met me multiple times and every time you have, you have seen my hard work, despite my lack of knowledge. I will become better.”

At the first moment of looking into her eyes, Yoongi had recognized her. His mindset of “firing this servant no matter what” changed as soon as he saw her.

He eyed her carefully, running over the event that happened just moments before. “How close were you when you heard the music?” He asked as he looked her in the eye.

“Pardon?” She asked, confused by the question. Yoongi was about to open his mouth to repeat the question when she understood his query. “Oh! Um, I was cleaning the room at the beginning on the hall and heard it only when I had walked back into the hall when I had finished; I couldn’t even hear it from inside the room.”

The prince breathed a sigh of relief and sat back down on the piano stool, brushing the hair that usually rested over his forehead backwards. Y/n waited, holding her breath, for the prince word that was law.

Finally, Yoongi tilted his head down to look at y/n and waited until she looked back at him. He couldn’t believe he was doing this when he had fired every other servant that had walked in on his playing; this girl was getting under his skin. “Do you promise to take what you’ve seen and heard tonight to your grave?” Yoongi asked, his voice low and serious as he tried to convey the importance of this to him.

Y/n’s eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly as she took in the words of her prince. Seconds passed as her brain worked to compute what he had just said to her until she finally understood, “Yes, Prince Yoongi. Of course I will.”

Yoongi flinched. “I will let you continue with your regular chores around the castle if you do that for me and one other thing,” He said slowly.

“Yes, of course, anything!” She responded as she rose to her feet and stared at the boy before her, paying attention closely.

He spun on his feet to face back to the piano before closing the fallboard over the keys and gathering up the sheet that had been on it before he had walked in. Patiently, he spread the fabric over the instrument until it was in the same state as it had been before his arrival. Y/n stood, waiting, for his response as she watched his careful and methodical actions.

Abruptly, Yoongi turned from the now covered piano to face y/n again. The sound of his footsteps were absorbed by the carpet as he made his way closer and closer to y/n. He was about to pass by her left side when he stopped, their arms right next to each other.

For the first time, Yoongi’s voice was unstable as he spoke to y/n. It didn’t sound like it was from fear or worry, but like he was shaken by something. Y/n held her breath as she waited for the Prince’s words to wash over her.

Yoongi didn’t even turn his eyes from the door in front of him as her spoke. “Don’t call me Prince Yoongi. I am your Majesty; refer to me as such,” He said, his voice wavering slightly despite his superior position. Without waiting for a response or looking back, he opened the door, walked through and closed it behind him, the sound of which echoed around the nearly empty room as a single girl stood, frozen, next to the grand piano.

Anger bubbled inside of Yoongi’s stomach as he practically ran through the west wing of the castle. Voices cut off as soon as they heard his footsteps in the hall, but he saw none of the heads sticking out of the doors once he passed with quizzical expressions on their faces, eager to gossip about the possible causes for his actions over dinner.

He stopped at the door of his bedroom, tempted to simply spend his evening in there, but was interrupted by his stomach growling, begging for food. Although he hadn’t noticed it before, Yoongi wasn’t surprised by this revelation. Ever since he had been a child, playing piano had caused hunger to arise in the young prince.

Defeated, he turned away from his bedroom door and began to slowly make his way down the main staircase to the door on the dining room.

As he walked through the door that was opened for him, giving him a walkway into the room, Yoongi’s eyes reflexively took in the spread, but stopped when they landed on his father. He sat, papers strewn about his place, with his head in his hand and his eyes wide as if the king was forcing them to stay open.

Yoongi was shocked at the sight; his father never brought work to the table. By dinner time, all of his papers were finished and gone, not to be seen until the next day. Clearly something was happening that was causing mayhem in the older man’s daily routine.

Slowly, Yoongi walked forward to take his place beside his father, a servant placing a plate of food in front of him as soon as he was seated. The king didn’t even look up at the new arrival as he continued to stare at the papers around him and take a small bite of the food from his plate.

“Hello, Father,” Yoongi said, trying to start a conversation as he began to consume the food in front of him. The man in front of him jumped before looking up, his hand on his forehead, barely registering his son before him.

“Oh, Yoongi, you’re here.” His voice was flat and emotionless as his mind was clearly elsewhere.

Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed as he scanned his father’s. “What’s wrong, Father?”

A sigh pulled itself from the King’s mouth and Yoongi’s heart ached to see him like this. Slowly, the king shook his head, clearly not willing to tell his son the woes of his heart.

Yoongi saw this action and clenched his jaw, annoyed that his father didn’t trust him enough with stress-causing information when he was next in line to the throne. “Father,” Yoongi said, a bite in the edge of his voice cutting through the stress that was strung between them

The day that had been meant to relax Yoongi and distract him from any other happenings had gone south. He had gone down to eat dinner with his father, tried to maintain a conversation and failed. Eventually he created an excuse that he had been busy all day and was extremely tired; somehow, his father had bought it.

Stars had already begun to appear only a short time since the sun had receded below the horizon. After leaving the dinner table, Yoongi had rushed to the hidden stairwell that wasn’t very hidden and raced up it until he reached the door that lead to the roof of the castle.

When he was stressed or confused, the prince tended to come up here at night to stare at the stars and let his thoughts into the dark and empty night sky. Usually the thoughts were scattered, coming from dozens of problems that had been building up until he could come to the roof and let them out, but this time they were all based on one person that wouldn’t leave his mind.

“Y/n,” Yoongi said into the atmosphere, more than a little bit of annoyance in his voice.

Abruptly, the prince sat up and rested his forehead in his hands. Why hadn’t he fired her? She’d given him enough reasons to, such as being behind schedule and going into rooms she wasn’t supposed to, but Yoongi couldn’t stand the thought of sending her away from the palace.

“She said herself, she needs to stay here,” Yoongi whispered to himself, trying to justify his actions the past few days, “You’re just helping her.”

However, this justification only led to more questions without answers. Why was he helping her? He was the prince and she was just a servant, he didn’t owe her anything.

Usually, Yoongi would spend hours on the roof, mulling over everything and letting his thoughts surround him until they became wisps of smoke and floated into the night, but tonight he couldn’t. Lingering on these questions was only serving to confuse him more and they felt like they were becoming solid instead of turning to smoke.

Impatiently, he rose to his feet and dusted himself off until his jacket was back to its original state. He turned to open the door to the staircase and walked through it, his feet making loud noises as they fell heavily on the wooden steps. As he neared the floor that he would exit at, he slowed and reduced the noise he was creating. Carefully, he pushed open the creaky wooden door that opened into the large corridor that connected to his bedroom’s hallway.

Although he had been determined to leave the thoughts on the roof, his brain continued to pick apart pieces of information and desire more pieces of the puzzle. He turned, his back towards the corridor, and gently pushed the door back into it’s place. A rustling of skirts startled him and immediately, he turned to see the maid that had created the noise.

She was older, and looked familiar. Yoongi assumed that she had been working at the palace for a while, mainly because the only time when servants were hired was at a young age or with credentials. The rustling had been made as she had lowered herself into a curtsey.

“Your majesty, is there anything I can help you with?” Her voice was soft and kind like a mother’s and Yoongi’s shoulders relaxed.

His reflex was to dismiss her without a thought and walk back to his room by himself, but a thought popped into his head. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth to respond, “Um, yes, actually.”

The maid looked up, her eyes wide in anticipation, waiting for his request.

Yoongi wrung his hands, wondering how to ask this bizarre question. “A-Are you familiar with a y/n? She was hired recently?” His voice stuttered as he asked the slightly awkward question to the servant.

A small smile spread across the woman’s face. “Yes, your majesty. I was the one that trained Ms. Y/n; she’s a bit of a slow learner, but I assume that after a few more days, she will become invaluable to this household.”

Yoongi stood, leaning against the door that he had just walked through, nodding as the woman talked. When she finished, his brain rushed, looking for another question. “What is her background? Why did she come to the palace?”

The maid looked down at her hands, the smile dropping from her face in seconds. “I only know a little bit of her background, your majesty. I know that almost all of her family died in the sickness that swept the country when she was a child, and that her mother is bedridden with another sickness; she plans to send almost all of the money she makes here back to her mother so that she can be taken care of. Ms. Y/n really loves working here.”

Yoongi finally understood what y/n had meant when she had told him that she needed to be here. The sudden reminder of the plague that had swept the country, years ago, made Yoongi shiver, his legs threatening to give way as he remembered his own repercussions from those days.

“Your majesty are you ok? Would you like me to escort you to your bedchamber?” The maid stepped forward, alarmed at the physical appearance of this prince. His normally pale skin had become ghost white, and his eyes went from focused to unfocused easily.

Yoongi blinked, pulling himself back into reality. Carefully, he pushed himself off the door behind him and into a standing position. “I’m fine,” He said, not looking at the woman before him.

She looked like she was about to step forward and help him anyway, but thought better of it. “As you wish, your majesty,” She said before curtsying and walking briskly in the opposite direction of Yoongi’s destination.  

The boy listened to the receding footsteps, waiting until they went behind a corner, to reach out and hold himself up. Thoughts of the plague had been repressed and avoided for years, but now images, voices, and memories that he had no desire for popped up.

Desperate for relief, he rushed forward, his feet pounding on the floor beneath him, down the corridor and down a hallway until he came to stand right in front of his bedroom door. The familiar guard that stood outside looked at him concerned, but the prince only shook his head before pushing his way into his own space and closing the door behind him, effectively blocking out the world around him.

All at once, the darkness that had surrounded Yoongi all night lifted to a bright morning light. A groan pulled itself from his throat as he pulled the blanket around him up over his head, refusing the inevitable.

“Your majesty, it’s time for you to awaken,” An unfamiliar, strangely high, voice cut through the silence. The sound caused Yoongi to wince it’s sharpness. Hoping it would just go away, Yoongi laid still.

“Prince Yoongi?” The high voice continued, but Yoongi’s eyes flashed open. Another newbie.

Impatiently, Yoongi sat up, causing the servant to jump before turning to her superior and bowing. “Prince Yoongi, good morning!” The voice said, unusually cheerful so early.

Yoongi reached up and rubbed his nose beside his eyes, wearing thin so new to the day before him. The young girl looked up confused. “Prince Yoon–”

His patience snapped. “Get out!” Yoongi bellowed as he pointed towards the door. The servant’s eyes grew wide, but she didn’t move. Infuriented by her incompetency, Yoongi’s temper wore through. “You’re fired!” He shouted, pulling himself up to his knees, causing him to be taller than the servant that stood before his bed.

Tears began falling from the girl’s face, but Yoongi just stared at her, continuing to point at the door until she finally gave it and ran away, her face in her hands.

Aggravated, Yoongi fell back onto his mattress and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to rub away annoyance for how the girl had acted. Although this kind of action wasn’t unusual, Yoongi still reflected on it during the time he spent laying in bed, as still as a rock.

Quietly, the door to the prince’s room opened, barely making a nose against its hinges. Light footsteps padded against the floor, but Yoongi just squeezed his eyes closed, behind his arm that was now flung over his eyes as his blankets sat in ridges around him, and tried to ignore them.

The footsteps slowly made their way closer until he could hear them stop at the foot of his bed. “Your highness, I’m afraid that it is past the time for you to be awake.”

Immediately, Yoongi’s eyes flew open at the familiar voice. He sat up suddenly to look straight at y/n standing in front of his bed, her eyes on the floor, and her hands clasped.

“I see that you’re awake, your highness,” She said, her voice low and monotone, “I’ll leave you now, trusting that you can get out of bed by yourself.” Her voice sounded cautious and devoid of emotions.

The prince sat still, tempted to say something to y/n and pull her from her state of being frozen towards him more than normal, but decided against it as his hand fidgeted, longing to reach out.

“Thank you, y/n,” Yoongi responded against his better judgment, his voice as low as his eyes as he looked down at the bunch of blankets on his lap.

Without another word, y/n dropped to a curtsey before turning and striding out the door and closing it with sufficient force. Stilled by the sudden events, Yoongi couldn’t move. Curiosity was bubbling inside as he tried to figure out why y/n had been brought in to wake him up as a back up.

Gradually Yoongi stood up next to his bed and walked over to his clothes before dressing.

When he was finished buttoning the last button on his jacket and had done his best in pulling his hair into place. Lazily, he began walking towards the door, slowing when he heard voices talking outside of it. They were quiet and could only be heard from very close to the door, but they were there; Yoongi stalled his footsteps and quieted his breathing, trying to listen to the conversation.

“Why did you get y/n when Jess ran out crying?” A high pitched voice asked.

A deeper voice responded, “We can’t leave the prince unattended. For months, it would like multiple tries every morning to get him up, but in the past few days, he’s up as soon as y/n walks out of the room; however, from what I can hear, she says the same things as anyone else.”

“I don’t understand, what’s so special about her that Jess would be fired one minute and y/n come out unscathed the next?” the higher voice inquired, growing impatient.

A sharp gasp came from the other voice.

“What, what,” the high pitched voice said excitedly.

“Do you think,” The deeper voice said, slowly decreasing in volume, causing Yoongi to lean closer to the door, “something is going on between y/n and the prince?”

Yoongi bolted into an upright position, prepared to fling open the door right away when another response came from the higher voice. “Don’t be ridiculous; he’s a prince, she’s a servant, it’s absurd.”

Nodding, Yoongi stepped away from the wall that he had been pressed against, and grasped the door handle before him. All at once, he pulled the door open, causing the two women behind it to jump into their places and curtsey to the floor embarrassed.

“Y-Your hig–” The two women began their greetings simultaneously, but Yoongi pulled his face into a stoic expression before brushing past the women; They turned to watch him go before, without looking back, he flicked his finger towards the hallway to their right that contained a servant’s’ passage.

“Back to work, women. Less gossip tomorrow morning, please.”

Without uttering another word, Yoongi heard the women’s rushed footsteps retreat down another hallway, soon disappearing as he walked in the opposite direction.

Not in the mood for a large meal, Yoongi arrived at the doors of the dining room, but stalled outside. A few moments passed as he tried to decide whether or not to enter. He heard the boisterous voice of his father calling to servants through the thick wood and knew that if he entered, it would not be a short visit.

Decidedly, the prince turned from the wooden doors and began walking down a clearly less decorative hallway. Although the lessons that his father planned anew everyday were hard to find an order in, the one thing that was consistent was a Math class, first thing in the morning, every other day.

Slowly the undecorated hallway split off into an even smaller passageway with no embellishments on the walls. The walk was familiar, but not something that he was completely unaccustomed to. On the days that a full breakfast or a run in with his father felt like too much, Yoongi took this path as an alternative

Multiple turns and one flight of stairs later, Yoongi arrived at a simple door with loud noises making their way through it. Timidly, Yoongi reached out and knocked on the door, having learned that knocking yielding a safer result than just entering.

Barely a second later, the door flung open to reveal a woman with a kind face and an apron around her waist. When she recognized the boy before her after a moment of taking in his appearance, she immediately fell to a curtsey. “Good morning, your majesty.”

“Good morning, cook,” Yoongi said as he gave her a small smile.

Cook rose from her curtsey and scanned the prince, taking in his slight frame. “My, my, why are you so thin? Have you been eating the food at the dinner table properly? Why are you down here instead of up at the table i prepared so nicely for you and your father?”

Yoongi looked at his feet, feeling sorry for neglecting Cook’s meals the past few days. Although his adventures to the kitchen were few and far between, Cook always held a soft place in her heart for the young prince. “I didn’t want to have a run in with my father and wasn’t especially hungry. Do you think you could fix me up something small and fruity instead of hearty?”

Cook frowned at the simple request of a meal, but nodded all the same before opening the door even wider and pulling the boy over the threshold. Immediately, the sounds of the kitchen surrounded Yoongi. From one corner of the large cooking area, an oven door slammed shut, while from another a knife hacked away at slabs of meat.

“Hey, don’t cut the meat too thin!” Cook yelled to the latter corner of the room. A chorus of “yes, ma’am” returned to Yoongi and Cook’s ears a second later and Cook looked content.

Yoongi followed the older woman to the back of the room where a solitary table and cooking station sat, empty. He pulled a familiar stool out from under the table and sat upon it as he watched Cook roll up her shirt sleeves like he had many times before.

After setting her work space into order and pulling some ingredients out in preparation, Cook turned to Yoongi and rested her elbows on the table to look at him. “What do you want for breakfast today, your highness?”

Yoongi had told Cook to stop speaking formally to him after his first few visits to her kitchen, but even though she had stop most of the formal actions, she still curtsied at his appearance and referred to him as Your Highness.

Yoongi pretended to ponder, something he had already done during his walk to the kitchen, dreaming up everything impossible, knowing that Cook would make it possible.

Moments before arriving at the door, Yoongi had decided on his soon-to-be breakfast. “I want a berry tart with lemon glaze, cook. I’m dying for something sweet and sour,” You said, his eyes sparkling with desire.

Cook laughed and readjusted her apron. “Something so simple? Your requests are usually a test of my ability; are you sure that’s all you want?” Yoongi nodded and Cook smiled before walking away to gather the ingredients she would need.

As he waited, yoongi scanned the room around him watching the busy lifestyle of the people that worked to produce the food at sat daily on his table. More than a few of them would cast furtive glances in his direction and whisper behind hands to someone beside them.

Every time that Yoongi made his way to the kitchen below the palace floors, glances were always thrown at him, silently asking why he was there instead of in him elaborate dining room. No one had ever actually said anything to him, no one would dare, but Yoongi could translate the looks in their eyes well enough.

Suddenly frustrated, the young prince turned back to the workstation that he sat at. Gently, he rested his elbows on the wooden tabletop and looked to the side to see Cook rummaging through her storage for the right berries and the best flour for a flaky crust.

Minutes passed with Yoongi playing with the small amount of ingredients already on the counter before him. A few eggs rolled back and forth from one of his hands to the other, but he withheld his desire to attempt to juggle them when he knew that they would just fall and break. Finally, Cook came back her arms laden with fruit and other ingredients.

“Sorry it took so long your majesty,” She said, as she bowed her head. Yoongi shook his head, silently telling her that it wasn’t a problem, but still looked at her expectantly.

Cook sighed and looked at the boy before her with a grin. “Is it an eating or learning day today, your highness?”

Whenever Yoongi found time to return to the kitchen, the visit was one of two types. On days in which he was in a hurry, he let Cook make the dish herself without any interruptions; it was made fast and in his stomach just as quick. However, on days that Yoongi had more time or was willing to sacrifice his schedule, Cook was accommodating and would help him learn to make the dish by her side, hands on.

Yoongi pondered the options. Although he knew that his math lesson was soon, and his stomach begged for quick relief, Yoongi looked up at Cook and responded with, “I’d like to learn today.”

Cook nodded and began separating the ingredients into two identical sets. By the time she had finished, Yoongi had washed his hands and pulled on the small apron that Cook left around just for learning days.

Immediately, cook set to work, starting to organize and combine her ingredients. Yoongi watched for a second before falling in step behind her and working at a good pace, a step behind Cook at all times, looking ahead at what she was doing while simultaneously performing his own action.

Slowly, they combined their respective amounts of butter and sugar and other ingredients to create a mixture of wet ingredients. Cook looked over to watch Yoongi’s slow and methodical hands performing his actions and critique when needed. After the wet ingredients, they both worked on the dry ingredients, succeeding in creating a few dust clouds, mainly from Yoongi’s bowl, and making their black aprons partially white with handprints and “splashes” of flour here and there.

Although Yoongi’s bowl contained significantly less flour than Cook’s, most of which could be found on the work surface or on the floor, they progressed to the next step anyway and slowly combined their wet ingredients into their dry ingredients.

Slowly the time inched by until the tart pans sat hot on the countertop, golden brown around the edges and warm in the middle. Ignoring the ticking clock on the wall, Yoongi impatiently pulled out a small knife and began cutting into the tart that sat, tempting him.

The crust was sliced easily and soon a large slice sat on a small white plate, in Yoongi’s possession, waiting to be devoured. Hesitantly, he picked up a fork and cut a bite sized piece away from the rest of the sweet. He stabbed it, hunger threatening to take over, and pushed it into his mouth.

He smiled as the tart berries exploded in his mouth and sighed in contentment as the crust fell apart in flaky pieces. “Cook, this is amazing,” He said, his mouth half full of pastry.

Cook turned away from the oven to set the other tart beside the one that he had just taken a bit of. “I’m glad you like it,” she said with a smile as she looked at him, “because that’s the one you made, your highness.”

Yoongi coughed and covered his mouth to keep from getting tart everywhere. Immediately he turned to stare at the two tarts before him. They looked incredibly similar, but after a few moments, Yoongi could see the perfect pinches created by Cook’s hands on the crust of the untouched tart. His eyes widened as he looked at the one that he had just taken a piece from. Now that he knew it was his, he could see minor flaws here and there, but he was still shocked at the delicious pastry that he didn’t know he could bake.

Reluctantly, he looked up to see the face of the clock staring at him as he stood there, beside Cook, telling him that he was already 30 minutes late to his mathematics lesson.

“Oh shit,” He said, nearly dropping the plate of tart in his hand. Frantically, he placed in down on the counter before him and rushed to untie his apron before pulling it over his head.

He began running towards the door before turning to see Cook in a curtsey at his departure. “Send the rest of that to my room please, Cook,” he called before turning the corner outside the door to the kitchen and leaping up the flight of steps, two or three at a time.

From in the kitchen, slightly muffled, Yoongi heard a small “Yes, Your Highness.”

Yoongi began to retrace his steps that he had taken to the kitchen. His mind was on the Mathematics lesson that he knew he was already late for. If any of his tutors didn’t tolerate tardiness, it was his mathematics tutor, but Yoongi could care less; he would pick cooking over a lesson any day.

As his mind wandered, his feet carried him to the main entrance hall of the castle, suits of armor and tapestries lining the halls, the former seeming to be staring at him disapprovingly. His math lesson always took place on the other side of the castle, in the west wing on the first floor.

He slowed to a walk reflexively as he made his way through the entrance hall, its floor covered in a luxurious red carpet that his father continuously reprimanded him for running across. The door to the dining room, to his right, was silent and Yoongi assumed that his father had already left breakfast for his work room, filled with advisors. When the open space that surrounded him became a large hallway and the carpet underfoot changed to a dark purple, Yoongi broke into a jog again.

Doors passed him on both sides, some leading to bedrooms while others led to a library or a drawing room; all of their doors were closed except one. After a few moments, he passed an open door, sounds of annoyance flooding out of it. He passed by it at first, but curiously bloomed in his chest and he stilled. Hesitantly, he turned, looking from the door behind him and to his left, to the hallway before him, leading the lesson that he was already late for.

Cautiously, he moved his feet until he stood facing the door from which even more of a voice could be heard. “Oh come on,” it said, annoyance clear in it’s voice.

His feet moved forward without his consent, pulling him to the opening of the door, barely 9 inches wide, but large enough to look around the room with limited vision. When Yoongi stopped in front of the door, he slowly leaned forward to peer through the opening.

Across the room, holding herself up against one of the 8 foot tall windows, trying to clean as close to the top as she could, was y/n, slowly becoming aggravated with her height. Suddenly, she leaped, barely streaking the top pane of the glass, before falling back to the height of the pane second from the top. “Shit, this is going to put me behind again if I don’t pick up the pace,” she said, anger lacing her voice.

Yoongi stared at the sight of his home being cleaned. Although he knew that cleaning went on constantly behind the scenes, the more experienced maids had become proficient in keeping themselves hidden during their work, commonly by closing the door behind them after entering a room.

After recognizing who the voice belonged to, Yoongi involuntarily took a step back. His curiosity was satisfied, but he couldn’t help but think about what she was doing. Clearly she was behind schedule, again, and struggling to properly clean a room that she wasn’t familiar with.

“Ugh,” Yoongi heard y/n say. He turned to look through the door again and see y/n standing, massaging arm that had been stretching high above her head in an attempt to finish her job.

One half of himself said to turn and walk down the hall to his mathematics lesson and let her finish her job, or not, on her own, but the other knew that he’d already missed the majority of his class, and that if y/n didn’t finish this assignment, there was a good chance that her luck was out.

Without thinking, Yoongi’s feet began walking towards the door. He was surprised by himself, but once he got started, he realized there was no going back. Giving in, he pushed against the already partially opened door and it swung open, hitting the wall behind it.

Y/n jumped at the sudden sound and turned to see her superior striding towards her, a serious expression on his face. “Your highne–” Y/n started before being cut off by the prince.

“Where is another rag?” Yoongi asked impatiently as he walked straight past y/n figure that had already begun to dip into a curtsey. His comment was only met with silence. Slightly annoyed he turned to y/n, his head lolling to the side. “Listen, you’re not gonna get anything done hurting your shoulder from trying to reach the top of the window. I’m trying to help you get your job done on time; now where is another rag?”

Y/n looked up and locked eyes with the prince before pointing to a table a few feet away with a few cleaning supplies on it, unable to speak. Yoongi nodded in thanks before turning, snatching up one of the cloths before grabbing the back of a chair and pulling it to the window. After that chair was in place, he walked back to the same table and grabbed another of the same kind: simple and wooden.

When he finished setting them up, he turned to y/n and held out his hand to her still frame. “You’ve got to work with me if I’m gonna help you y/n,” He said, a hint of laughter breaking through the stoic expression on his face.

Y/n blinked before tentatively following his flitting eyes to his hand and reaching to place hers in it. Her heart was racing as he pulled her towards the chair beside him and stepped onto his own chair, prompting her to do the same. She followed his lead, slightly unbalanced, onto the slightly wobbly chair.

“There,” Yoongi said, letting go of y/n’s hand nonchalantly, “Now you can reach the top of the window.”

Y/n nodded and turned to begin to wipe the upper parts of the window clean, occasionally dampening her cloth with cleaning solution. She was slightly surprised when Yoongi turned as well to follow her lead. Thoughts ran around her head, most of them panicking about why the prince was doing part of her work with her when he was clearly royalty.

They worked side by side for a few moments before y/n turned to Yoongi, her head bowed. “Your highness, I can finish by myself. Please let me do the work.” She held out her hand for the rag that had still on the window before Yoongi.

A small smirk appeared on his face. “Y/n, you do realize that you are still behind right? I know the schedule of most maids and I can assumed that you’re supposed to be done in half an hour.” He glanced around the room, his eyes playful, “It’ll take you at least another hour to finish this room,” He turned to face her, her head lifted when he caught her, his eyes holding it up, “Unless I help you.”

“Your high-” Y/n started, but was interrupted when Yoongi gave the window beside him a final swipe and jumped down from his stool.

His back turned to her, he began dragging the chair back into it’s place. A casual look sat on his face as he twisted to face her, the rag still in his hand. “What’s left to do?” He asked, his arms folded over his chest.

Y/n stared him, knowing that his mind was set on helping her with her task, for some reason. Hesitantly, forcing herself to follow his wishes, she pointed to the uncleaned fireplace on the next wall of the room that she knew would take her the longest to clean. A smile crept onto Yoongi’s face as he turned to see where he was pointing.

“Now you’re getting it,” he said as he began to unbutton his jacket. Y/n’s eyes widened at the sudden action, her mind yelling, wondering how this action could correlate to cleaning the fireplace.

“Your highness!” Y/n yelped, jumping down from the chair that she had remained standing on, and covering her eyes. “What are you doing?”

Yoongi chuckled at the sudden actions of the maid before him and reached forward to grab her wrists and pull her hands away from her eyes. “Do you expect me to work in this stiff jacket? I could barely clean the windows because my arms are so constricted.”

Y/n blinked as the prince slowly let go of her hands and removed his jacket, revealing his white long-sleeved undershirt, slightly see through, tied at the front of the neckline.

Carelessly, he turned and threw the ornamental jacket onto one of the chairs strewn about the room and began to roll up his sleeves that sat hanging on the lower part of his wrist. Trying to remember the few times that he had seen maids cleaning his fireplace, Yoongi walked over and knelt before the grate as y/n watched from the other side of the room. He carefully reached forward and pulled the grate to the side, revealing the empty square where charred wood and ashes sat around a metal log holder.

Y/n stared at him as he sat, crouched, in front of the fireplace, clearly confused. Slowly, she turned and continued cleaning the windows. When she turned back a few minutes later, Yoongi sat in the same place as before, the grate off to the side, and his chin in his hand, clearly thinking hard.

A chuckle fell out of y/n’s mouth as she stepped down from the chair that she had been using and slowly returned it to it’s place at a small tea table. She only had the fireplace left to clean, which took the longest, and dusting to do about the whole room.

“Your highness?”

Yoongi jumped at the sudden address and turned to see y/n a few feet behind him, looking at his concerned. He rose to his feet and opened his mouth to respond. “Yes? I was just…” He stopped, not knowing how to continue.

Y/n sighed, wishing that she could send the prince away instead of worrying about his rank hovering over her every move with the ability to throw her out and any moment. “If you want to help, would you please do the dusting and I can deal with the fireplace?”

Yoongi broke into a grin, “That’s exactly what I was going to suggest,” He said, clearly trying to play off the fact that he had no clue how to handle the fireplace situation.

With a smile, he jogged over the the set of cleaning supplies that sat on the table that he had his chair from and plucked the feather topped wooden handle from the lot of items, smiling triumphantly.

He saw y/n shake her head slightly at his antics before taking his place crouched in front of the fireplace and begin to pull the charred logs into their place.

Her hair fell over her face, but she ignored it, seeming not to have seen it. Yoongi’s hand itched to replace the strand to its place at her back, falling over her shoulder blades. Chastising himself, he turned and began the work that he was using to distract him from thoughts of another mathematics lesson.

Twenty minutes passed, and Yoongi finally returned to the place that he had begun dusting at. He looked around the room at its shiny surfaces and sighed in contentment at his work well done.

Curiosity had always bubbled up in his throat when he walked passed maids carrying out their duties in the halls: he constantly wondered what their schedules and days were like.

Y/n sighed, having finished her job at the same time at Yoongi, and stood up and brushed off her skirt.

She turned, a deep breath having left her chest, to face Yoongi.

[meitanreax]

day 2

hello!!!

here is my challenge for today >:) here are the most interesting things/funny things that i saw today!!

ok this first one is me bc the lighting was nice hAHAHAHFSLKDFJLSKFJ and i am very interesting (: to u (: LOOOLLL but yeah i thot the lighting was nice HAHA and my skin is nice thanks birth control!!!! 

ok this is. the 2nd one/..so i was just in the mall and i see this and im like kJFDLSKJLXCKVJLJ imagine a family wearing this? IM JFDSLKF i just like specifically how the shirt says fucking KIDDIE....LOOOOLL yah but watch white people wear this. omg i just realized they all have matching bottoms too im going INSANE LOL

3rd thing. OK! like i said!! my cousin plays shooting games...really funny tho!! lOL i did not expect that!!! at least she is a gamer and she draws anime chibis so im like wow. lOOOL #relatable #measakid #wow! she knows what league of legends is so i guess!!! she is a real gamer (but she doesnt know csgo or overwatch, but she is a huge COD fan LOL ???)

4th. i got gongcha and i dont know why this random dude is on the cup LOOOL isnt it most boba places like the cups are clear and stuff?? IDK LOOL philippines gives out like these paper cups and STRAWS TOO OMG..the straw was made out of paper and it got SUPER like...soggy after 2 minutes god please help me LOL

5th!!! this is the view from my hotel room ;_; i dont wanna leave this hotel cuz its so nice and i have my own space away from my actual botch mom...omfg...we hate to see it!!! but its super nice and close to this popular mall (whcih is ok, i am indifferent it is just big) LOL but yah!!! its super pretty sigh TwT lets get a hotel room together sometime again!!!

- - -

ok! for today, i woke up at like...4 am then 5 am...cuz of jet lag. (it really be like that) and then i just lied in bed pretending to be asleep(actually on my phone) so my parents wouldnt bug me!!! today i found out that there are actually lil bugs on strawberries..if u dont wash it thoroughly...scary...i am no longer buying my own fruit and chopping it up HAHA

so like i got up and got ready for the day around like 7 am!! my parents left to go to the gym at 6 and i was like wtf LOL they r probably eating breakfast w/o me..and I WAS RIGHT DUDE I TEXTED THEM and they were like yah come down?? and i got lowkey annoyed like BRO!! why u drag me out here and say u wanna spend ‘famIly tiME’ and then continue to do shit like this LOL but it’s ok!! so the breakfast buffet i went to was super fancy!! here are the photos below

they had filipino breakfast, and then chinese food too o.0 like dimsum! and the lil soup dumplings!! they also had sushi..which was weird!! LOL but it was brunch i guess but at 7 am...LOOOL i had a green smoothie (LMFAO but it was like...not thick consistency it was more like pressed juicery and p like nice consistency! it was mango, spinach, and ginger so it tasted nice!!)

i had fried fish and bacon and then breakfast meat thingy for breakfast!!! and i had a sugar donut!! also i had this filipino dessert that uses like almond jelly/soy jelly, syrup, and boba ^__^ it’s called taho!! 

it looks like this! O: i think u would like it hehe

anyways yah my parents kept asking me about my friends/you back at ucla and i was getting rlly uncomfortable cuz they were being oddly nosy....idk how but i ended up talking about how im close to jess lee and my mom told me i should become an influencer to get free shit ~_~ so im like dO U WANT ME TO BE A DOCTOR OR A INFLUENCER LOL which is it!! bro !! so annoying!!!

anyways we just chilled at the hotel room and my young cousin came over n stuff!! my mom left with my aunt to go get her plastic surgery or sumn idk and then me and my younger cousin and dad went to the mall!! that’s where we got potato corner and gongcha LOL

my younger cousin was shy and quiet at first but she opened up once i asked her about video games and she was more comfortable!! when we got back my dad just took a nap but me and my younger cousin (ez) decided to watch horror game let’s plays. she actually like knows some of the horror games i know cuz of horror lp’ers LLOOOL 

we watched one called the doll shop?? it was creepy it was like this japanese dude who worked at a doll shop, and he has a doll stored in the back of his private room that’s his ‘favorite doll’ and like literally throughout the game theres posters of a missing girl and then turns out the guy is hallucinating/mentally ill and the favorite doll in his room is like this dressed up corpse of the missing girl im KJDLFKJF I CALLED IT. DUDE LOL i was like yo that guy is fucked up!!!!! i bet he is hiding something!!!

we watched another one called ao oni KFJDLSKFJ its some funny pixel rpg horror chase game and idk it’s funny ill show u HAHAHA it’s dumb bc the monster looks dumb it’s like... SOME BIG ASS PURPLE CHIBI DUDE LOOOL

and then my mom came back whatever and went to bed...cuz my dad wants to leave at fuckign 1230 am for the next place we’re going to...im deceased cuz like i will literally have to nap for 3 hours then sleep another 3-4 hours on the way there and im pISSED CANT WE JUST DEAL WITH THE TRAFFIC LOL i dont want to leave at fcking 1230 am!!! what the heck!!

but yes!! im getting jollibee with my dad and im prolly gunna pack and then get ready for bed ^__^ but that’s my night for today!! ill update you more as it goes along :3 

OH ALSO our commissioner says she will give us our lineart for the chibis so ill send that to u later hehe!!!

OK i wanna try giving u a challenge too!! so ur challenge: take the prettiest photo of the sky/view tomorrow on ur hotair balloon!! and tell me if it’s like up!!! plus points if u edit pupy in it LOOOL & also add more songs to the playlist!!

okie!! that’s all for now!! ill update you more tomorrow! hopefully we’ll be able to call tomorrow night or the following morning ;w; its gonna be hard cuz im gonna be out most of the day/on the road but ill try my best!!!

i love you so much bebu!! thanks so much for putting this effort into making it work ;_; it’s a lot more bearable with ur contributions!! u make me so happy !! i am happy pupy too hehe i love you and miss you sososososo much!!! 12 more days at this rate <3 _ <3 i love you! so much, forever, more than anything, with all my heart!! 

[noxrynne]

i dont really have the highest hopes for making the goal i had for school odds are i fail a class, do poorly in another or two, and maybe get by decently in one of them i really regret doing online courses since it always goes back to “oh i missed that because it wasn’t posted,” “oh the professors don’t use the news alert system when new stuff is added with a concise explanation of what I need to do in that post blurb that’s 3500 words of bs,” “oh i didnt realize this awkward and uncomfortable ‘post your personal assignments here that are about yourself so a bunch of strangers can also read and criticize it’ was required,” “the syllabus is written out of order, it’s messy and has a bunch of color code usage that’s never explained and makes reading it harder and, oh, they want me to print it out too bad i dont have a fucking printer and looking at it makes me want to throw up since it’s literally just everything put up on a page and i just start panicking because its so much stuff and it immediately overwhelms me” i also fuckin hate the professors who’ll say like “if you’re here just to get a degree you’re in the wrong place” b/c it’s like college costs a lot of fuckin money and you can bet your ass the only reason im here is to get a degree so i can eventually have a job that lets me be financially stable. trying to say “oh it’s just for funtime education” is bullshit when it costs what it does and isn’t even accessible to everyone from the get-go. i could learn the exact same shit for free from a fucking library and the internet, and talk to people i know if i have questions about material. but that doesn’t give me the piece of paper i need. idk i wish there was more of a “oh i can go do this and be fine financially” rather than needing to spend years in a university because i really hate it. i *wish* i hadn’t fucked up before and been as suicidal and couldve got through it *before* its used as a “yea we can’t have you here cuz you dropped out in the past” *even when* it’s an associated school with the one i *did* drop out of and they told me they *would* re-accept me when i was healthier. no im not a great student. i get overwhelmed really easily, i stress out over everything too much, i break down if i miss one assignment. i dont do well on the shit i actually try really hard at. i dont participate in class because it’s a terrifying experience to be called a fucking “idiot” again by a professor (ty philosopher dickhead at uwgb im gonna fucking punch you if i ever see you) i *forget* about assignments a *lot* and *yes* that’s a *my* problem thing but it’s something so extremely difficult to work around without having someone telling me about it, or just having a visible schedule written down about what’s due on a front page that always pops up. which i mean yeah it’s extra work i guess for the professor to just copy paste some info that’d really help me out, and no i dont have this issue as much in a traditional school b/c i actually *go* to the classes to sit in and be reminded through that. and yea im probly gonna fail out unless the other university sighs and says “well she did try and it was online” and ngl i probably would be *fine* in a regular classroom oriented thing *now* it’s more organized and there’s a schedule i can keep to and get into and when i get *into* a schedule i stick to it 100% b/c i derive a sense of security, existence and safety from having schedules. but if i fail out and they dont sigh and say “okay” then im kinda fucked. i mean, i could probably attempt to get through another year there and maybe go to the actual school instead of the online bullshit and *maybe* then i’d actually meet the reqs. but idk if that offer is gonna stand after this year. and idk im just back to feeling really fucking hopeless and empty. i mean ive been feeling this way all this month. i feel like nothings fucking worth it because i feel like i just cant do it. and that ultimately im gonna end up fucked. and i *know* im 90% of the problem. i *know* my thinking of “what’s the point” is screwing me over. i *know* accidentally falling asleep an staying asleep for a whole day is a fucking issue. i *know* i shouldnt forget important shit i need to do. i *know* i should participate no matter how fucking uncomfortable and frightened it makes me. but it feels fucking *impossible* to work with 0 energy. it feels terrifying to be asked “write an introspective piece about yourself and reflect on the events of your life that made you who you are today” BECAUSE i dont talk about THAT STUFF to people I DONT KNOW i *BARELY* covered those topics in *therapy* because of how uncomfortable they make me. and I DONT need a bunch of strangers in a class knowing the shit that happened to me. and fuck i feel like the entire idea behind the writing assignment was “oh this’ll be fun haha” but it’s like... remembering *most of the shit hat directly impacted how i am today* is one of the most fucking difficult things for me to do, especially publicly. i *regret* online schooling. i didnt realize how much i dont work with it until i thought about it this year. i get overwhelmed. i get stressed. i get depressed. i get suicidal. i get hopeless. i feel useless. i didnt realize i *need* to actually *go* to a class because it helps with the isolation i put myself in. because i straight up actually understand shit when someone is actually explaining it to me and not just handing me a textbook and saying “read it that’s it that’s the entire class, but oh, write an informed paper structured off what you read and if you dont understand the material well go fuck yourself i guess.” and in actually *going* there to a physical room it becomes easier to do things like homework and assignments *because i can walk over to the library*. what *really* shit on my previous school ability was like i was overwhelmed (we *just* moved to a *completely* different state and environment, i *just* had a series of panic attacks in italy b/c i thought i could handle it on my own) and the first school didn’t have a/c and it was fucking 101 outside every day and i dont do well in heat, and by that, i mean i hyperventilate, i get dizzy, i get lightheaded, i get emotional and frightened and stressed and cant sleep. the professor who asked if we read the chapter (I DID) and then pointed at me to explain what i read (I DIDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT), and when i finished he just laughed and told me to sit down and pretty much called me an idiot in front of everyone and i started crying. (i also got a 0 so i failed the reading since he didnt believe i read it). at *that* school there were no therapy or counseling or offers like that. the art building made me cry and feel unsafe (i couldnt control it), having to walk *all* the way back to my dorm building at 12AM b/c that’s when my one class ended was *terrifying* then in a different school it was just i had a class that made me physically uncomfortable to be in. i *hated* being in the freshman course for feminism so much. not b/c i hate the material, but i felt so “other” and uncomfortable b/c im a trans woman being asked about my male perspective on shit and i just. i remember leaving because i just felt upset and depressed and i couldn’t get over the really bad dysphoria i kept having in that class (the professor there was the reason i went to counseling on campus, she’s the one who referred me to it in the first place). on top of that, the dorm i was told id be getting was a fucking lie. i was supposed to have one or 0 roommates. i got 5 roommates. beds didn’t fit me b/c of my height (i slept with the back of my feet on an iron bar). the food was straight fucking garbage. one of my roommates just randomly touched me all the time. hugged me, put arms around my neck, *kissed my cheek*. another was always drunk and loud. another talked about making bombs incessantly. one of them seemed actually concerned about me and he came in once or twice when i was face down on my bed just not moving b/c of therapy sessions and talked to me once or twice to make sure i was still alive. friday mornings in winter id be up at 5AM, trying to get ready without waking any of the 5 other people, then walk outside with no access to breakfast/coffee/anything (b/c too early) to get to a class across and off the campus i had to walk to (and when snow was present my feet were numb b/c of all the water that got into my shoes). and then there was the legit getting 4 hours of sleep if that a week. eating basically nothing. extremely suicidal and getting to the point where i was having days where i legitimately could not discern what was real and wasn’t. and then i left ‘cuz my other option was to be hospitalized. from there its just been attempts at online schools. which i already tiraded about above. i mean fuck id be happy if i *could* just go work in retail and make a decent wage and not have to work every waking hour of my life to make it work. like. i *wish* i was lucky enough to be one of those “i had no degree but x really liked my resume” stories i always read about. i *wish* writing and publishing a book was considered and *was* a viable career option without needing to get really fucking lucky. im passionate about writing fiction, but in order to do that professionally, i need a 4 year degree from an institution. i can technically publish something, but if no one ever hears about it or cares, then it doesn’t become a job to have and it does little else. and then there’s also just a lot of irl shit i keep worrying about and dwelling on and nearly making some really fucked up or stupid decisions in the interim. and idk i just i wish i was one of those ppl who felt like they had a future and aren’t likely to die before age 25. or one of those people who just *does* something and it works out and they get to exist.

[santafe1899-blog]

ykno what nvm answer all of them dickhead

fuck u 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

u

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoin

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

i see every1 i love p frequently tbh

4. Are you easy to get along with?

i reckon so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

yeah i trust em to (if they aint all drunk themselves)

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

like 80% of the population

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

i reckon i got p good odds tbh

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

uhh helena cuz she just gave me a hug bless her

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

yes. deeply.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

u

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

‘love u mom’

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

choose any from this

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

f u c k   y e s

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

ehhhh idk not rly

15. What good thing happened this summer?

so much?? bfs?? top surgery??? its been a good summer

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

give me

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

al wouldnt be cuddling me rn if i didnt

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

i dont even remember his name

19. Do you like bubble baths?

i dont have them often but theyre cool

20. Do you like your neighbors?

yeah theyre chill

21. What are you bad habits?

o god so many. drinkin paint waters prolly the worst one

22. Where would you like to travel?

santa fe

23. Do you have trust issues?

uhh nah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

talkin 2 the ppl i love

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

well itll b GONE in 5 days SOO

26. What do you do when you wake up?

go back 2 sleep

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

nah

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

the bfs

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

uhh nah

30. Do you ever want to get married?

howd that even work

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

we just tested n Yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

there r so many options wtf…the richest 2

33. Spell your name with your chin.

mjnac mjk

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

soccer 4 lyfe (im a forward)

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

y would u ask me this

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

im shit at that tbh i always end up spillin. prolly my elementary school crush cuz i got over it in a week

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

i usually awkward laugh

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

uhhh… im tryina think a the similarities btwn the bfs…uhh…nice smile

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

somewhere w food

40. What do you want to do after high school?

art

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

nope

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

m concentratin

43. Do you smile at strangers?

sometimes?

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

food. promise a seein the bfs

46. What are you paranoid about?

uhhh losin people

47. Have you ever been high?

yep

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yep

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

dont think so

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

navy blu

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

yeahh

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

i mean… appearance wise its already changin. but i reckon i cld prolly be less brash

53. Favourite makeup brand?

uhhhh idek know more than 2 makeup brands

54. Favourite store?

food

55. Favourite blog?

mine. uh jk like…the bfs? idk i only rly follow my friends n art blogs

56. Favourite colour?

blue

57. Favourite food?

mac n cheese

58. Last thing you ate?

a bagel

59. First thing you ate this morning?

pancakes

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

i won like 10 art competitions in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

bein a little shit once

62. Been arrested? For what?

vandalism rip

63. Ever been in love?

yeah i am rn

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

wed been datin for a month. we kissed then we both laughed

65. Are you hungry right now?

when aint i

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

theyre the same

67. Facebook or Twitter?

uhh twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nah

70. Names of your bestfriends?

medda, crutchie, albo, spot, davey, kath

71. Craving something? What?

when isnt it mac n cheese

72. What colour are your towels?

like… a few diff ones

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

2

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

uhh like…1? i didnt get 2 bring my childhood ones n i aint the kinda person 2 collect em

75. Favourite animal?

dogs tbh

76. What colour is your underwear?

black rn

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

cookies n cream

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

blue

80. What colour pants?

grey

81. Favourite tv show?

b99

82. Favourite movie?

hot fuzz

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls??? obv??? mean girls 2 was shit we all know that

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

janis

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

nemo for sure

87. First person you talked to today?

crutchie

88. Last person you talked to today?

u

89. Name a person you hate?

u

90. Name a person you love?

you

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

yeah a lot

92. In a fight with someone?

not actively

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

too many (never too many)

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

prolly like..3

95. Last movie you watched?

spirit

96. Favourite actress?

m e d d a

97. Favourite actor?

idk a hot one

98. Do you tan a lot?

i tend 2 burn more

99. Have any pets?

theo

100. How are you feeling?

gay

101. Do you type fast?

moderately?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

yeeeeah

103. Can you spell well?

im ok

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeah

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

fuck yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

uhh … yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yeah

108. What should you be doing?

payin attention 2 al

109. Is something irritating you right now?

yeah im hangin out w this rlly annoyin guy rn :/

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yeah.

111. Do you have trust issues?

not rly

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

uhh theo

113. What was your childhood nickname?

id rly rather Not

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah

115. Do you play the Wii?

i mean sometimes but we dont got one

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yeah we have a playlist on

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

yeah

119. Favourite book?

football

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

as much as like, ny1 is

121. Are you mean?

sometimes?

122. Is cheating ever okay?

absolutely not

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

nope

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nah, just lust

125. Do you believe in true love?

yeah

126. Are you currently bored?

nah

127. What makes you happy?

theo, paintin, the bfs, medda

128. Would you change your name?

been there done that

129. What your zodiac sign?

cancer

130. Do you like subway?

yeah sure

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

“we did this already”

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

al

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

tbh ‘cause I’m never going down, im never giving up, im never gonna leave, so put your hands up, if you like me, then say you like me.’ mean a lot rn

134. Can you count to one million?

i mean…probably?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“im straight”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

5’10”

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i got str8 hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette by majority rules

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

day

142. Favourite month?

july. 4 no reason���..

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

ughh tea if i have 2. just give me a red bull

146. Was today a good day?

yeah

147. Mars or Snickers?

mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah sure

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Well – I don’ like sayin’ the name if I can help it. No one does.”

[askinfortroublee]

Im so bored and geeked holy crap. Do people even still use this? I know i dont but social media is at the point where no matter how many times i refresh theres nothing new because everyones asleep. Why did i take adderall and drink coffee at 9 pm? Idk?? Guess i thought my homework would take longer. Anyways i hope i dont fail my math test tomorrow that would suck i already failed the class once oops. Still wondering who got me sent to standards/what video theyre referring to. Guess ill find out soon enough. Got another hot date with mike tomorrow hope i dont choke on my food like last time. Im not sure if he noticed though. Also i think my shoulders broken cuz me and jackson got into a bit of a tussle but thats okay cuz i punched him in the face. He busted my windshield tho, its ok cuz my dad got me a new one. #gloup. Jeez theres so many thoughts in my head legit i hate adderall for some reason i thought the same sentence over and over on repeat for like 30 minutes before even realizing it was happening. Why is everyone asleep? Why is it exam week? Why does my hd teacher have to take attendance? Should i email the snam lady back about my probation hours probably. Or ill call my dad in the morning. Anyways im thinkin bout switchin up my hair style. I wont be a teen much longer my next birthday is the big 20 so might as well switch my shit up ya know. I hope to god nobody is reading this. Maybe i should get up and do laundry nobody will be down there. But also im so comfy so prolly not also usually wednesdays they cook us bacon im really lookin forward to that. This is so entertaining honestly. I think i have cancer or diabetes though im prolly gonna get a physical when i come home from college. I should prolly work out too my body has gone quite downhill the past year or so. Prolly cuz i was dating pat and had nobody to look good for. Its ok ill get back on the #gains grind. Im so excited to see chris clements omg whata cutie pie i miss his hugs. Also my mom is so mad at me that she uninvited me from her birthday party how hateful is that..??? And its the weekend before finals so its dead in alabama. Fuck it who needs birthday parties not me ill just study and drink beer. Emmas coming to visit me this weekend thats really exciting i hope she enjoys bama. Who wouldnt tho its the tits shes gonna have a seizure in the boomboom room i almost did the first time i went in that shit. Oh gosh what if i lose her.. thatd be bad but shes more responsible than me. Im a total wanderer. we have a date party next week but i cant go cuz im on bad standing so im hoping all my friends decide not to go and then we can do tshirt tuesday. If not i can go do tshirt tuesday with mike though and then we'll have a sleepover. Hes lotsa fun super super hot. My stomach rlly hurts but its too cold to reach for the tums. Someone read this and remind me to go to the tanning bed tomorrow. This is such a long paragraph. I wonder if my friend carly is awake. She has tons of snacks and i bet would give me sleeping medicine. Its 4:15 i have class at 10 and a test at 12 this rlly is so unfortunate. I rlly wish i had a beer. Maybe if i drink a handle ill just passout and wont be tired in the morning. Wow now i just had the sad thought that i only have 2 weeks left in bama. Like what the FUCK. I thought highschool went by fast but this is next level shit. And its so much better. Like yall i am such a better person now and my friend group is so wonderful i am 100% thriving. thank god im not one of those people who goes to college and hates it and transfers to be with their hs friends cuz they never make new ones. Like yall this is the best place ever. I want to live here over the summer but also that would require homework and my brain is very close to just like shutting off. My teacher asked me a question the other day and all i could do was stare at him for a minute and then say "i honestly have no clue what u said or how to answer at this moment" and he just laughed and moved on. Everyone in hs says college professors are gonna be so mean and shit but really they do not give af what u do honestly. Ok my fingers hurt goodnight