#now im depressed and sorta feel like i dont exist

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

Haha! Uh oh! :)

[ozymoron]

tell me a bit about sophia (i mean if u want) im interested

gladly. i love talking about her

shes a 20 something year old german trans woman living in nz. shes 5'10" (somewhere around like 177.80cm) and a lesbian. she uses she/her pronouns but is fine with being called a guy or people using he/him for her as long as she know they believe her when she says shes a woman (like they dont mean it in a transphobic way). she has a deep voice and a german accent i havent really got much of the worldbuilding down yet but i do have most of her personality down. also her story takes place in some vague year between 2000 and now

shes kinda a huge loser like in the sense that she spends most of her time just sorta sitting around at home drinking beer and smoking while listening to industrial and hardcore and metal and shit (shes almost definitely depressed but im yet to explore that side of her lmao). she drinks and drives, shes incredibly wreckless. she kinda doesnt care that much about others but more in a way where shes just kinda always in her own head only thinking about herself and what she wants but when it comes to the people close to her shes incredibly protective like a guard dog. she acts like kinda a silly idiot around her loved ones but as soon as someone even looks at any of them wrong, shes fully ready to kill them. she clings onto her friends and stuff like theyre the last thing she has left. less in a desperate kinda codependent way and more in a "i could not live without you i will protect you with all i have trust me please stick around and keep me in your life i will make my existence worth your while" kind of way

shes a wannabe badass but also just is a badass. like she acts all cold and stoic but laid back, i guess in a way trying to seem all mysterious and cool but mostly just comes off like a bit of a jackass (cause she kinda is a bit of a jackass but she means well. sometimes.) i havent got to this part of the worldbuilding so i dont have an explanation for why she is this way but im planning that theres something she has to fight against or something like that. i have a bit of a vague idea of what i want but no specifics but she has a side to her where like shes actually kinda badass. she wears a wolf mask and carries around this baseball bat which the tip is like covered in nails and shit. im planning she gets covered in blood often because women covered in blood is awesome. im planning a theme with the group of characters she hangs out with where they all wear some kind of animal mask and each have their own weapon which like reflects their personality and whatnot

she works in a fast food restaurant which i feel like explains a lot about her

she mostly wears the mask to hide her identity but also to just hide her face in general. shes not insecure about how she looks but more just worried about what other people think of her. shes on hrt but she wants to keep her body hair cause she likes her body hair which includes her facial hair though she does regularly shave it cause she knows it gets her misgendered. she also wears a spiked collar and sometimes a leash (if shes not wearing a leash shes wearing some kind of bondage harness thing) both to continue the whole wolf dog thing shes got going on and also for sexual reasons of course

she has a romance thing going on with another oc of mine called blair (the name is a placeholder im so bad at picking names). blairs tiger/big cat coded shes more of the happy-go-lucky chaotic type. sophia goes incredibly soft for her like the whole trying to be a stoic badass thing completely drops around her she would sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if it meant blair was kept alive and safe which worries the fuck out of blair cause half the time she does not need to sacrifice herself but she puts herself in danger for blair often times for no reason cause she believes its what she needs to do to keep her safe. like her life is meaningless without blair so she'd rather be the one to die than live without blair. which like yeah theres a flaw in her logic cause like if she dies shes still without blair and now blairs sad but yknow. maybe she'll figure that out someday not sure tho shes a little stupid

idk what else to write so ill just add little tiny things i added to her for fun her favourite movie is evil dead 2 (this is me projecting onto her), she moans when she pees, she would give everything to be a werewolf, she had her drivers license taken from her she still drives tho. she shouldnt but she does, she hates beer but drinks it anyways. i think she doesnt know theres other kinds of alcohol. no idea how she doesnt know maybe she just hates herself and wants to drink shit that tastes bad for fun,

shes all i have left im going crazy

i also have a playlist for her if anyone besides me cares i care so fucking deeply. also my tag for her i feel also illustrates her personality well

[the-timeless-lamb]

bloody hell. It seems the regenerative effects never cease. If i were to say how much being this ancient has affected my mind and state of viewing souls and people.

like i dont view people as important anymore, i made peace with what the abusive people in my life did. i dont even really see the value in making connections anymore, they all come then they go. all the people ive met in my astral journies the people i met in the physical and watched them fade from history. only one person has stuck around me the entire time i was traveling or handling my work. Goddess. At this point shes my only true connection. I see people with all their little quirks their little personalitys and go "we are all going to die in the end. nothing ever changes the cycle of nature contiunes. ive died physically then been displaced into another similar looking body, with lack of power, and experince. i arrive soon as do and months feel like minutes, days feel like seconds and minutes feel like nanoseconds. being this old astrally made me skip out on my own life for mere sciencific seconds, but then im back with a whole new wealth of knowledge. sometimes as the next me. I exist between either physical or astral. Time feels like meaningless constructs to me now, Depression is high, and people feel worthless to me. thats how it feels. much as i like to spend time here. i just. sit. nothing is progressing in the physical as of yet because im ahead of all the people in my life in terms of progressing on my timeline, im years ahead. Hell ive just turned 24 physically and all that feels like? that short of time? whatever. i dont even particularly take joy in being myself. im just numb. im young and old at the same time. i can leave for however long i want. nothing is stopping me. Only Goddess tells me when its time to come back, the daemon side of her spirut travels with me when im traveling the realms. since this happens in the span of a few seconds it probably makes wherever her avatar is dissociate for seconds. then back to her usual routine.

idk what in trying to say. goddess puts up with me for that long? id say thats nothing short of a miracle, but she also says "im still the sweetest little lady i always am, even if you have grown cold to humanity or even other spirits."

even the friends i have now are sorta. semi distant from me. im not the person i used to be but i still consider them to be important enough to be remembered and as well as my family. i dont even consciously keep track of my bloodline anymore, backwards speaking. i hardly ever recall their names unless mentioned. tho i always play it off as if. i was aware of their names. im not really caring for them anymore, its not like they particularly try to keep contact with me or try to get to know me. they just do what they do. its whatever. i dont even attend family gatherings anymore unless obligated by my parents. and honestly my family to me besides my parents & cousin often feel hollow. they expect me to pick up the pace and talk about me. but its just a tuesday in eternity for myself. an eternity waiting for things to pan out and be better. if i wasnt with goddess, those timelines where i died, i would have stayed dead. she was the only one pushing me forward. i cant recall peoples faces or who they truly made me feel back then, but it certainly wasnt seen.

[screechingkingdomhottub]

RATING DIFFERENT MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELLING SERVICES (UK)

Soo bit about me is im bisexual, trans, autistic, depressed and have had some Bad Coping Mechanisms so trigger warnings for sh, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism and addictions, anything else lemme know and i'll edit this. When I was a young boy, I realised bad things in my brain and after struggling finally got encouraged to reach out for help, here's how i'd rate my experiences. First though, regardless of any of these ratings you should seek help, because even if the help sucks which it might, you get a little boost in your brain that you're trying and it could be the difference between 1 day but that 1 day is special. I believe in you. As someone who has been struggling for 10 years now, it does get better but your struggle doesnt magically stop. So this is in no way me saying "all help sucks dont bother" but the exact opposite like always choose to seek for help.

First we have Mr Big Boi Jo AKA the samaritans, I have reached out to them so many times since I was like 13. The email feature is amazing like being able to sorta control when you are willing to not only send the message but also check the response is wonderful. I'd pour my heart and soul out and then be able to step away and recover from that vulnerability, be excited for when I'd get an email back, if I didn't feel like responding in that moment then I would not have to. But they have a tendency to sign post you quite easily like i've been sent to chris at lgbt , childline, some autism stuff that rubbed me the wrong way. It can feel kinda like you're getting dismissed and told to bugger off. "But that's not what they're doing!" oh right i forgot people in mental health crises should think more clearly, how dare i think they may have thinking issues and be sensitive in those times, ridiculous of me /s so I'm gonna rate them 6.5/10. This also probably depends on who you get. I'm gonna have to DQ chris@switchboard.lgbt because I genuinely forgot I had any interaction with them, they seem alright and I suppose if you're struggling with gender and sexuality they're worth a shot? I'm rather comfortable in my identity now so I don't want to take that resource away from people for any experiment like this. CHILDLINE - Not just that one phone number you call if your parents are abusive. Genuinely childline is so misrepresented due to what we classify as abuse like if you are under 18, you can go on childline and play games, have a live chat feature with counsellors, ask on message boards, view message boards or send as an email instead of the chat. You can choose! I think it would be amazing even for adults but once again, no stealing resources. "But I have DID and it's complicated cause my little needs help-" dude I'm not qualified for that, you probably know more than I do like don't put this on me. I cannot remember one negative experience with them. I just remember being scared and messaging people, OH AND THE NOTES YOU CAN ASK THEM TO READ NOTES SO THEY'RE CAUGHT UP ON STUFF EVEN IN LIVE CHAT. 9.5/10 would be a 10 if I was still a child but I'm unfortunately 23 so im bitter. It may have changed but now but I strongly encourage people to try it because I didn't want to because I thought it was only for kids being physically abused, it's also for like teenagers who are self harming. SHOUT - Oh Shout, you are the most 50/50 out of these. I genuinely use SHOUT more than samaritans now but it can go really bad. I message and am like "hello i wanna drink myself to death" but if i do that on like friday nights or something, the wait times are massively long and I've found some other way to soothe myself but when they are there they do talk very gently, they offer valid resources about things like as pdfs this time not just links to websites of people that can help. It's similar to counselling in person imo so it's about vibes sometimes. 8/10 or wait/10 damn those wait times KOKO - I'm glad it exists but haven't found much help from it personally. I do like that it sorta puts less stress on people that want to help social media accounts in crisis like that's a very important thing we didn't have when I first had the internet and it caused a lot of damage but in terms of the rating of how it helped 4/10.

GP - OMG GPs right? Anyone in the UK that's been to a GP for depression will immediately be thinking "oh right a WALK ADN SOME TEA RIGHT??" because that's always your first offer. Always. I should also mention I never went to CAMHs because of how my GP saw me, I went to a different centre for at risk youths in a different town in the most wonderful and bizarre therapy I've ever had but that place has shut down and there's absolutely no way other people have had that experience because whenever I say this stuff to people they may as be looking at me like I'm talking about narnia. GPs don't really seem to take you seriously until you're 18. But people don't seem to be really listening, your antidepressants aren't gonna stop your depression. They're going to fight it a little bit but you gotta do other stuff to get the endorphins and that's where the walks and exercise come in. People will bitch about theirs not working and they don't listen to what the GP says like "they keep upping my dose cause it isnt working!" then you find out that person has been drinking every other day which cancels those meds out. So with all that said, GPs are getting a 5/10. Some of mine were really helpful, some sucked, age is a big factor.

I hope you are able to use this info or even just now be more aware of all the help you can get in the new year. It's time to get happy again <3

[fictionfixations]

i found a fic where midoriya is ranpos reincarnation

and now i have the story outline sorta of a bsd x mha.

also there are references to things and things im trying to exlpain to myself to remember later but maybe you wont and im not gonna explain that haha this is kinda influenced but i also dont wanna write fuckin dostoevsky because how the fuck do you take him down that man is probably smarter and more dangerous then afo imo?? i dont want to make the book a thing (LOOK. the manga is still in its 'what the fuck is happening this is chaos' and the stuff thats mentioned is kinda in that part?? okay so the guy with the perfect crime ability, i know thats been adapted to the anime but the manga hasnt ended, they havent figured out the actual solution to the story thats going on so also 'how the fuck am i meant to do that im so uncreative'

ahaha also the mention of a shatter thing is a reference to some other mha fic but haha go look through my bookmarks i dare you, i copied and pasted an excerpt that explained what happened with shatter. its nice. :))))

okay so just because i started a multi-chapter fic that i actually wanted to finish the next thing i know i have so many documents open with multi-chapter stories and im repeating a mistake i made that ended up with a lotta discontinued fics

instead of being kicked out of the dorms because of outing the guy at the police academy for like cheating on his s/o or whatever, he reluctantly continues and becomes a detective. the youngest ever, and the one who has ended up solving the most cold cases ever.

he becomes tsukauchis problem he is also quirkless. he was never told that he had an ability by fukuzawa-dono. but he is insanely smart, even more then nezu

hes taught by the law enforcement there that not everyone knows what he does, so its important to point things out

ranpo doesnt have much skill in protecting himself, but his knowledge lets him predict some things, as a faux foresight. he gets bested by a new organization (The LOV? except they have more power, and recruit Mushiro Fushiguro or whats its name, the guy with the Perfect Crime ability. Ranpo got involved in the investigation against the LOV. Someone is killed as a threat, and right before his eyes all the evidence is gone, and he has that feeling that something is missing. ..Ah. It's threatening him not to go any further. He does.), and tsukauchi gets hurt, therefore the police department is deemed too risky and is moved to the custody of one Aizawa Shouta. (ofc, erasermic, and shinsou is there) He ends up shadowing Aizawa at his job, having already graduated, and technically class a's senpai.

on the meanwhile, the investigation team collaborates with the Armed Detective Agency from Yokohama, noting the existence of an Ability User they had been chasing down, having been able to figure out that the murder of a certain Mystery novel writer had been in close-ish contact with a man with an ability. 'Perfect Crime'.

like lady nagant, the guy fuckin DIES after they find him and have an encounter and ends up regretting it (because of course ranpo figures it out) but not after giving a very ominous message

they go to the summer camp, ranpo as an honorary member, and trusting in his teammates, gets kidnapped instead in place of bakugo.

afo is interested in the self-proclaimed greatest detective, the youngest one in fact. ranpo feels threatened. he wants him. needs those strategic smarts, but knows that Ranpo would never. Instead, he would make it so Ranpo could never help the other side. He shatters him. for once, his intuition fails him. his teammates are too late.

He was scared. (this is what he gets for being reckless all the time. almost suicidal with how much trust he puts in his colleagues to make it in time.)

think of yosano after she exploded the thing and was all depressed and unreacting.

before this, he meets shinsou at aizawa's place. he bluntly questions why shinsou hasnt used his mindreading. shinsou: what?? aizawa: what have i told you about people not understanding some things? stop being so blunt. ranpo: blink blink oh. Hey Shinsou, did you know that logically you should be able to mind read someone while you're brainwashing them- well actually, its more like you're putting them to sleep, but in a state of sleepwalking, y'know? so their mind is still kinda active and registering things that they're seeing in dreams, and you can interact with them that way and their mind would be much easier to see and read because you're kind of.. in their brain? shinsou: … I CAN DO WHAT NOW? aizawa: ..Ranpo.

shinsou reaches out to ranpo. his eyes stay in their shattered shape but he can see after hes free.

ranpo learns to be less hesitant, but is still paranoid.

[arcadequeerz]

My whole Life I’ve just been tht ‘weird- loud- annoying person’ N only like, recently I guess I realized its cus of me bein adhd- like, my obvious adhd traits(? or however u’d word it-idk how-)- I have no volume control- I always am talking Too Loud and Too fast- and I talk and just ramble bout shit that other people Obviously don’t care about- 

n im just like 🤪😬 lol wow!!! cade ADHD momence!!!! Its hard not to feel like every moment of my existance I am just annoying everyone around me with anythin I say- or do Ever.

[arundolyn]

time for am I actually having a realization or is it just almost 3 am

[chisatowo]

"I'm doing better than I ever have been!" I think, while having a mommy issues moment™

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Makoto plot line by Lêx?

thank you for this totally 100% spontaneous ask that you sent of your own free will, anon!

okay, so here's the thing. i dont like makoto. not really. he's annoying af and basically useless. bitch does nothing but hide behind haru cuz he's scared of everything and be blushy and soft in that spineless way, you know? like he just lets everyone push him around and treats everyone in such an unfuriatingly uniform, fake-cheery, ultra helpful way that it's his whole personality

but here's the thing! it gets sad. you know? especially considering how he, like, seems to basically live to enable haru? in all the worst ways. like it's nice of course that he helps haru with his depression but there's a point when it becomes enabling and that point is when makoto is running after haru all the time trying to solve his messes, remind him of his own damn responsibilities, and basically take care of haru's whole life so he doesn't have to. again, helping is good, but by worrying about the things haru doesn't worry about and preventing him from facing the consequences of not doing anything basically lmao he enables haru to never fucking get out of his constant stupor. also, as previously said, he's spineless, which means that he never truly goes against haru's wishes. so like. enabler. bad

which is my main beef with makoharu, which is actually the most popular ship in the fandom because ppl have no taste and also dont know how to interpret shit. tho tbh even makoharu shippers are like "i ship makoharu because makoto deserves to be happy and he wants haru!" so even they acknowledge that.... haru isn't into him lmao. but anyway

point is: they pull each other back. im not gonna say it's abusive or something cuz i don't think it is, i wouldn't even call it toxic, but it's stale in the worst kind of way. makoto enables not only haruka's depression, but also his self destructive and to some extent relationships destructive behavior, setting his growth back. and makoto lives and exists to take care of haru. he has no dreams, no goals, hell, not even INTERESTS. his whole thing is just. haru. where haru goes, he follows. and. that's it basically

which is why the fact that so many makoto stans ship makoharu is also baffling to me, because if i were a makoto fan, i'd probably hate haru, lmao. i mean, makoto is going around doing all this work for him, plus emotional labor, and haru never gives him much back really. and it's obvious that haru doesn't like makoto the same way makoto likes him, but makoto is just out there taking whatever scraps he can get, and haru just sort of. probably doesn't even notice cuz that's been their dynamic since they were kids. and makoto knows that, too. so like. if i stanned makoto. id fucking hate haru for that tbh

and honestly it's bad writing because i think the writers couldn't care less about makoto lmao and also didn't know what to do with him, which i think becomes increasingly obvious as seasons go by and he's just sort of. there. they tried to give him his own plotlines and even dreams but it never stuck. he feels like a doll most of the time. even in s1, which was widely rinharu-focused and barely had any other characters have real plotlines unless you count the one (1) episode where they try to teach rei how to swim, makoto was particularly uninteresting and underexplored and developed. like, the other characters might not have had huge importance but at least they had personalities. makoto didn't, really, unless you count "mama henning haru" and "being uwu" as a personality

but my point is: what if makoto got some real writing? what if we explored his character, and his relationship with haru, in a more critical, dimensional way?

makoto is in love with haru, i think that's indisputable. haru isn't in love with makoto, which i also think is indisputable. makoto himself knows that what haru has with rin is special and beyond what makoto and haru have, he says that, he even says that he was jealous of rin. yet he stays. even when rin comes back, and haru and rin become friends again, and it's obvious they're going to be together, makoto stays. he takes care of haru, which is some pretty damn stressful work, and does all this emotional labor for him, and haru barely gives him, like, a smile every once in a while, lmao, and again it's sad. but makoto stays. and - that's an important part to me - it doesn't seem to be because he has any hopes that haru will come around. so why

i think they're stuck in a loop, and that makoto has been in love with haru, and being not only his emotional support, but basically the one thread connecting him with the outside world (while simultaneously enabling him to continue as detached from it as he can, because he's not bringing haru out to the world, he's bringing the world to accommodate haru) for so long, he doesn't really know what else to do. also, he feels guilty about leaving haru to his own devices, even if obviously there's nothing he can do if haru won't help himself. also, he's scared of losing him, because he's been defining himself for his relationship with haru for so long, he doesn't know where else to go

i think that's supported by his relationship with other characters. like i said, makoto is annoyingly kind to everyone (if im not mistaken, the name makoto actually does mean kind) and a MASSIVE pushover. he never goes against anyone's wishes. he never really throws in what he wants. he doesn't really interfere with anyone's plans and ideas, he just sorta makes it happen. he is never annoyed, never has any quirks, is never even like, tired, you know? he lives to please other people, to the point where he has no personality, interests, or wishes beyond that

so, yeah: i think makoto is scared that, if he doesn't please other people, there's nothing else left for him. and in a way, he is right, because i don't think he would know what to do with himself if he had to look into himself and figure out what he wants out of life. so it's easier to follow others and dedicate himself to them. also, fear of loneliness is very valid, even if i dont think any of his friends would actually leave him if he weren't being their damn mom all the time. but they also let it happen, especially haru, because it's convenient, and again, homeboy barely has the energy to go to school, much less help makoto unpack all of that

but if i were writing free!, id want to explore that, because it has so much potential to be a pretty damn rich story, actually. especially as the story progresses, because one effect of rin being back and haru running the whole swimming club and trying to prepare for their race is that haru needs makoto less and less as time goes by. because he has a motivation. he cares about his grades because if he doesn't keep them up he won't be allowed to keep working in the swimming club, he cares about teaching the newbie (the rei i mentioned before) how to swim because otherwise they won't be able to run against rin in the medley race, hell, he reforms the whole entire pool that was abandoned so they have a place to train (with help, but like, he couldnt be bothered with getting up to school before). he even goes back to drawing so he can make pamphlets to attract more people to the club

and then he finds his love for swimming again, especially as a team, competitively. he finds his love for people again, for human interaction, for competition and the thrill of the sport he loves. haru finds his motivation, and he starts putting his life back on track and working towards his goals, and haru is damn capable. and that means that makoto has a lot of free time in his hands now, and haru is slipping through them, and he knows he can't really keep their relationship as he was. and he shouldn't, honestly, and i think that he's, at least, smart enough to know this

and he has a crisis, because again, he's been defining himself through haru for the longest goddamn time, im talking all the way from middle to high school here. and he doesn't know who he is. he doesn't know what he wants. he barely knows what he likes

but he's not alone either, because again, makoto is haru's best friend, and haru does like him and it's not like he's all "i found my purpose with rin now. peace out". his journey was also about finding his whole support system with his friends. through relearning how to swim in a team, he also relearned human connection and friendship. that's one of the many beauties of rinharu. they inspired each other to make their lives better, including in ways that have nothing to do with each other, and they weren't even trying to

so he has haru, but in a now radically different dynamic, and also rei and nagisa (his teammates) and gou (rin's sister and also their trainer) (rin and gou don't go to the same school for some reason). and everyone is going through a similar crisis, because it's the last year of high school. rin obviously has known that he wants to be an athlete since he was a kid, but everyone else's plans are kinda sketchy. makoto just happens to have some extra flavor in that mission - he's not just trying to figure out what he wants to do, but who he is

and fuck if i know how that would develop from there, but id really love to see makoto finding himself, honestly. i want to see his issues being addressed. the only backstory we have for him is that he's afraid of the ocean because he almost drowned at some point? i dont remember. i want to know why the fuck he's been repressing his own needs and personality so hard. i want to know what had him so scared of the world that it was easier to forget about himself and basically live through haru. i want to know what he's going to do to find himself, and the very, very painful journey of looking at himself and his own needs, and, in many ways, his own emptiness, because makoto essentially carved himself hollow. i want makoto to have dimension and depth, and be relatable and not just a dumb shell of uwuness for ppl to swoon over and want to protecc, not even because i like him, but because it could be so interesting. and relatable in so many ways. like, god damn it. if you wanna make him one of the main characters, give him a real plotline!

and i want to see him finding out that his life is better when he's a little more detached from haru and not living in an endless pursuit of a relationship, but having a network of people he loves and that has mutual support. i want to see him getting over haru, not so he can have some other romance with someone else, but so he can grow. makoto basically doesn't grow at all the whole show, and it's sad to watch, especially as everyone else grows so much

[the-flying-urayuli]

i made a weird post about the little bits in inside that was not put together a while ago so im doing it again out of boredom for the songs

yeah this is not at all put together so this may not be super accurate

content: a great opening song, definetly brings you into the feel of the special. for some reason i get “forced to work into a content factory despite your own issues and cant keep up with it” but eh

comedy: pretty obvious, a satirical song about people praising themselves for doing nothing etc etc with some other parts in it. there is definetly more about this song but i dont know them.

facetime with my mum: tbh i often skip this song? but it could possibly be about people praising themselves for talking and loving there parents but never actually paying attention, helping them or being nice.

how the world works: also obvious, about the corporate corruption and manipulation. also possibly noteable. its framed as a sort of kids puppet show, so possibly could also be refferencing all that corporate almost propaganda to convice children just to buy. this has been referenced a couple times in the special? but this is the first one.

white womans instagram: ive seen plenty of great interpretations of this song and this isnt my own but its that this girl is clearly dealing with a lot of her own problems, i.e her mums death, but she keeps faking herself to be the most perfect person on the internet or something like that. but thats nice

unpaid intern: i believe bo explained this himself-

bezoes 1: i used to love this song but it being used on tiktok so much sorta just made me sick of it. not much to say about this song, kinda obvious and straightfoward its about jeffery bezoes’  horrific acts for his own gain

sexting: not much to say here, if anyone has a good analysis of this song please give it to me

look whos inside again: fucking bop, has to be one of my favourites. also quite straightfoward. bo talks about how as a child he was just a kid stuck in his room, doing what he liked and he actually liked doing it, but now its just a 

problematic: could be a couple things, either bo talking about his own problematic past and finally adressing it and coming to terms with it, which is probably it. it could also could be like unpaid intern and it could be a satire on glowup pop songs. instead of talking about how amazing you are and denying any past its facing those things directly and being straightfoward with your emotions? something like that

30: not much to say, about the terrifying feeling of growing older and scared of growing irrelevant. something along those lines

dont wanna know: this song on the omnichord is my ringtone. like content its for right after the intermission and its bo wanting know more about what you think of the show and asking questions to the audience but not wanting to know.

shit: a groovy song about depression

all time low: about a panic attack, is this the shortest song on the album?

welcome to the internet: about the internet and all of just the shit thats on here. possibly ties in to bo’s opinion on not thinking the internet should be free to everyone and as someone who literally never gets of the internet i have to agree. but yeah its a song about how the internet has so many different things right next to each other that anyone can access, and how so many different groups can manipulate it. such as corporations, scams, cyberbulliers, pedos, propaganda and misinformation spreaders etc etc

bezoes 2: pretty quick song, probably more ties into bo just not wanting to stop the special. this song is quite quick, lacks a lot of what other inside songs have and is just a redo of another existing song, which isnt in any other existing song on the album. so possibly its bo slowly getting sloppier with the songs just wanting to keep it going and never finish and no longer worries about things that the rest of the special had? idk

that funny feeling: thank you reddit for telling me what the funny feeling actually is and now that i know like- holy shit this song is amazing and always makes me sad. for other dumbasses like me, this song is about that feeling of we have the materials to improve the world but we just dont, through lazziness and people who dont do anything just cause it doesnt affect them. its that feeling of sitting there, knowing that you want to help save the enviroment but just 15 minutes later you know you wont do anything.

all eyes on me: i honestly dont know? i have plenty of ideas but i sure dont remember them rn and they arent that good, same thing with the ending of the special. but like god this song is an experience

goodbye: this has to be one of my top songs of this special. however i dont have many theories on it? or at least that i can think of rn

any day now: just the outro song, however i have seen some people it has a double meaning of both talking about the credits ending or the lockdown

[ageofevermore]

1-100 baby, let’s do this!

1. What is you middle name?

Mackenze (mackenzie not fucking mackenz ro)

2. How old are you?

16 (almost 17)

3. When is your birthday?

December 26

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Capricorn 

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple

6. What’s your lucky number?

2

7. Do you have any pets?

No

8. Where are you from?

New Jersey (i mean i’m african america + german + irish)

9. How tall are you?

4’11

10. What shoe size are you?

9 ½ 

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Over 17 ...

12. What was your last dream about?

i have the weirdest fucking dreams ever, but im pretty sure it had something to do with my going back to in person school but ending up at ikea and then their was a Princess bounce house and i saw a little girl i know but then i ran away because i missed my marketing class and cried bc we were drawing octopuses and i got an F... like what the hell is that?!

13. What talents do you have?

none :)

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i mean i have been known to predict a pregnancy... 

15. Favorite song?

WAP? (i have a lot man)

16. Favorite movie?

I HATE movies, but like anything Marvel 

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Idk man, Tom Holland?

18. Do you want children?

Yes, 100%

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Lol, no thanks 

20. Are you religious?

Nope

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes! It’ s one of my favorite places (that sounds horrible but like, i’ve just always enjoyed it their and find it mesmerizing? Also Greys..)

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yes, but like really old ones who i don’t even know the name of, oh and the cop from one of the Spiderman movies :)

24. Baths or showers?

Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing?

I’m not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous?

Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Yeah

28. What type of music do you like?

Country, Showtunes, Pop, some Rap, Alternative 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

No

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I don’t own real pillows, but i do have a body pillow and like a throw pillow...

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side of my stomach

32. How big is your house?

It’s a ranch, not that big. 3 bedroom, 1 ½ bath

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I don’t eat breakfast 

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

A nerf gun...

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Nope

36. Favorite clean word?

Orgasmic 

37. Favorite swear word?

Twatwaffle, Cuntasaurous, Bitch, Dick, Pussy, Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Around 48 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yup (my favorite ones my boob one bc its the only one i got and it wasn’t because i was being a complete idiot…)

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

It wasn’t a fucking secret this boy is obvious as all hell

41. Are you a good liar?

Yes

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yeah

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Yup

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I don’t think so

45. What is your favorite accent?

British 

46. What is your personality type?

Mediator INFP-T (mind 64% introverted, energy 63% intuitive, nature 63% feeling, tactics 75% prospecting, identity 75% turbulent)

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

idk

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Middle! 

50. Left or right handed?

Right 

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes, get the fuck away from me demons 

52. Favorite food?

PASTA 

53. Favorite foreign food?

chinese ..?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy and i hate it

55. Most used phrased?

The fuck?

56. Most used word?

Fuck

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Could take 5 minutes could take 2 ½ hours, and i never wear makeup so don’t even try to start with me about how it takes hours to do makeup, i just genuinely enjoy sitting under blazing hot water in the shower 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I mean, i dont think so?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes , i have like two irls and they never wanna hang our already have plans so im my own company 97% of the time

61. Do you sing to yourself?

ALL THE TIME

62. Are you a good singer?

No, i mean i’m good, but i’m also nowhere near professional 

63. Biggest Fear?

Being alone, being rejected...

64. Are you a gossip?

I mean, i do enjoy some tea time, but i also feel anxious half the time when tea is being spilled lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

...American Assassin? Is that dramatic? Endgame? Whats a dramatic movie?!

66. Do you like long or short hair?

LONG LONG LONG 

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Bitch, i can’t even name like 12

68. Favorite school subject?

English

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Extroverted Introvert 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No

71. What makes you nervous?

People...

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Yes, tf, if you aren’t I don’t trust you 

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

No, if i did I would be correcting people 73 times a day when they say my name 

74. Are you ticklish?

Sometimes, in some places. I can turn it off

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Lol, i mean, maybe?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

I am the queen of drinking at family parties 

78. Have you ever done drugs?

No, but i wanna get high. 

79. Who was your first real crush?

Justin Bieber, but like Harry Styles was two weeks later...i was 6

80. How many piercings do you have?

5 technically 

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yes 

82. How fast can you type?

Yes 

83. How fast can you run?

I don’t run, tf

84. What color is your hair?

Brown

85. What color is your eyes?

Idk, they were blue, then they were green, then they were hazel, now i think they’re just brown :(

86. What are you allergic to?

Human interaction… but no my favorite flowers, Lilly’s 

87. Do you keep a journal?

No

88. What do your parents do?

My mom was a teacher, and my dad used to work at the DMV

89. Do you like your age?

No, you don’t understand how badly i want to vote 

90. What makes you angry?

Ignorance and Selfishness 

91. Do you like your own name?

No, but it’s been growing on my ig 

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

Yes! I have two lists, one of names I love and another of names i’d be willing to agree to if my partner doesn’t like my favorites. 

Girls; Olivia, Amelia, Hazel, Leila, Charlotte, Cove

Boys: Brett, Lincoln, Landon

Unisex; Anderson, Montgomery, Maverick, Ocean, Blake 

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

Girl

94. What are you strengths?

Avoiding my problems like they don’t exist 

95. What are your weaknesses?

ADD, anxiety, depression, i mean sorta PTSD i guess surrounding some situations

96. How did you get your name?

My dad named me after Kirsten Dunst (Kyrstin), and my middle name is Mackenze bc Marie is a family name but my mom said ‘lets be original’ bc literally like 6 girls in my family have the middle name Marie

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

No, but my great great great great great grandfather created the brick press

98. Do you have any scars?

Yes 

99. Color of your bedspread?

Pink

100. Color of your room?

Grey

[alexahasaguardianangel]

So. Yea. Feeling down lately, to say the least. Honestly not quite sure what to do anymore. Uh, yeah. It sucks. Kinda been thinking about things and it's weird. Can't sleep hardly, barely eat. Idk. Life just seems sorta pointless. I love my friends, and tbh im only living for them rn, but damn. Every ounce of me wants to slowly let them go so that I dont hurt or burden them anymore. Shit dude, im just so exhausted by existing. I've done quite a few things I regret, god knows my anxiety and depression wont let me forget them. Idk. Starting to consider my options if you catch my drift. Feels like no matter what I do im gonna ruin something. I keep on and I ruin my bff's life, I leave and I ruin it too. Already fucking up that relationship by being too needy and dissociating and shit. Idk. I need to talk to someone, I know my friend Sparrow would really help me feel better, but in a twisted way I think I deserve to feel this, and besides, it isnt his job to look after me and I already worry enough that im going to completely wear him down. I already fucked over just about everything else, if I do one good thing maybe it should be to just let him be so I dont watch that relationship crash too. Hell if I know. I don't deserve half the care any of them give me. It's sickening really. Im a disgusting monster who drains them and they still give me any light of day. I guess one has the right idea at least, slowly been backing off for a while now, needs space. Wish I could do that with myself. Guess I kinda do, dissociating, but its not the same. Still trapped in this mess. Ugh.

[yung-gunshot]

In questions!

thank you denna @kisamas

1. What takes up too much of your time? rn its mainly vibeo game and anime. i still play djmax respect like almost every single day plus also playing ace combat 5 & 7 and i recently finished watching ergo proxy which was pretty cool

2. What makes your day better? cooking something yummy like pasta or curry makes my day better and just generally playing games something that distracts me from my problems at the moment

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? i made pasta with sausage, broccoli, and spinach for dinner and it was really good 

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? hm i havent really thought about this but i think it would be cool to see the netsphere from blame! but without being involved in all the fucked up stuff i just love the architecture 

5. Are you good at giving advice? i would like to think so but none of my friends i know irl reach out to me so maybe i think not i just speak bollocks 

6. Do you have a mental illness? hm not sure, i never got officially diagnosed but im pretty sure i may have developed depression ever since i graduated hs

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? i dont think i have 

8. What musician inspires you the most? not sure about musicians but deathgrips and jpegmafia have kinda inspired me at the moment just because they make whatever they want without being afraid of what people think of them

9. Have you ever fallen in love? yea its happened twice now

10. What’s your dream date? i dont really think about this just because i dont think it will ever happen but i think just hanging out and going hiking anywhere would be nice and i really enjoy checking out new places to eat in town

11. What do others notice about you? not really sure about this question tbh maybe that im really easy to get along with? and i dont like the fact that i exist outside of my own perception 

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? isolation? but also i tend to bounce my leg and play with my hair a lot

13. Do you still talk to your first love? nope 

14. How many exes do you have? 2

15. How many songs are in your playlist? im not really sure i just have 3 playlists on spotify that most songs go to depending on the mood they are pretty huge though so id say at least 100 per playlist

16. What instruments can you play? i used to be able to play the trumpet in elementary 

17. What do you have the most pictures of? i have lots of landscape pics from the places i go camping and hiking then its just anime girls memes etc

18. Where would you like to go before you die? i think it would be really nice to see japan, korea, and indonesia plus also visit every national park here in the us and some parts in mexico like cancun and puebla 

19. What’s your zodiac? aquarius 

20. Do you relate to it? sometimes but most of the time i think its stupid 

21. What is happiness to you? just living a life where i dont have to maintain a certain image of myself and free from the pressures of modern day life and capitalism 

22. Are you going through anything right now? yea i still havent registered for fall classes yet and also havent been able to find a job either and i lost my friendship with my best friend a month ago

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? i think telling my best friend i grew feelings for them is by far the worst thing ive done to date and its just something im never going to forgive myself for

24. What’s your favorite store? winco, samber and la chiquita (local hispanic stores) and grocery outlet

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? pro

26. Do you keep a bucket list? nope

27. Do you have a favorite album? ive had a few as my all time fav like Emily’s D+Evolution , To Pimp A Butterfly and Toxicity, rn though im really enjoying Dog Whistle by Show Me the Body, Infest the Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and Veteran by Jpegmafia

28. What do you want for your birthday? maybe some new cardigans and candles would be nice

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? i think people see me as a quiet and distant person because i dont talk that often when meeting new people

30. What age do you seem according to most people? my age (21) -/+ 1

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? i keep it on the corner of my bed next to my head

32. What word do you say the most? bollocks, bellend, fuck, worm 

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 25

34. What’s the youngest you would date? maybe 20 but they would have to be a very specific type of person for me to consider dating them, safe bet with 21

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? art teacher

36. What’s your favorite music genre? it used to be hip hop for a really long time but now i like rock and metal but really ill listen to anything except for country and edm. ive also just been listening to a ton of vibeo game and anime music too 

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? i honestly think if the world wasn’t dictated by money i would want to live in mexico or japan tbh i like the us but just for the nature and landscapes 

38. What is your current favorite song? Camp Orchestra by Show Me the Body

39. How long have you had this blog for? i think i started in the middle or end of 2015

40. What are you excited for? i cant really say im looking forward for anything other than death stranding coming out and the dlc for ace combat 7

41. Are you a better talker or listener? i think im a better listener than i am a talker bc when i talk i cant even understand what im saying sometimes. listening is much more important to me bc i can actually process what people are saying 

42. What was the last productive thing you did? i talked to my adviser today and made some food and took my dog out for a walk at the park

43. What do you want for Christmas? i would like more board games to play with my cousins and friends and maybe some new pants too

44. What class do you get the best grades in? i dont know about best grades but its usually my painting and drawing courses 

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? 5

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? i honestly dont know and the only thing that comes to mind is being a teacher? i just live day to day 

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i guess after i graduated hs we were talking before we graduated but things sorta fell apart and i realized my feelings a bit too late to change anything 

48. What age do you want to get married? not sure since i cant see myself being taken seriously enough to want to marry but i guess ill say any age before 40

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i dont quite remember but i recall wanting to do space travel so maybe an astronaut? or astronomer

50. What do you crave right now? emotional stability, some taro milk tea, and more pasta\

im gonna tag @deredere @euthymiclurker and @dementatree :)

[eddsmoped]

2018 retrospective...sorta

so since 2018 is closing i thought i’d do what tumblr was made for and just make a blog post expressing my thoughts of this year n stuff..

(my christmas tree >:D)

this blog was made early this year, around January. It’s only been a year! its crazy, really. the amount of support and attention this blog has garnered in such a short time is astounding and very new to me....honestly thank you!

i have to say, making this blog has been one of my best life choice. really! ive never met so many nice people before, met so many new friends and have my art shared around and have had a place where i feel like i matter. i hope that doesnt come off a narcissistic in any way ^^’‘ but truly, for once i feel like i have some solid purpose...like there are actually people who look forward to my stuff and care! 2017 was a really dark time for me and 2018 was still not an easy year for me. but, improving my habits and having so many positive people around me really kept me up. i know that even in 2019 i will still have moments where depression gets the best of me and i will still struggle with staying alive, but it has gotten considerably better and that does mean a lot to me.

even if it is stressful and scary sometimes, i am so glad that theres so many people in the community. its the closest ive felt to an online community...its like everyone knows each other and i love it.

of course, all of this is because of eddsworld existing at all. its stupid but that cartoon really saved my life. it taught me some really important lessons that i desperately needed to know that honestly made my life so much better. it got me back into animating and helped me meet this community. and of course, i always value edd himself and his other works, even more so than his cartoon. even if i get extremely upset thinking about the fact he may be gone now, i still love & respect him and i dont think thatll change.

ive changed a lot over this year i think, and i hope to be a more positive and open minded person in 2019!

also, a personal thanks to those ive talked to this year...those who contacted me through DMs, or on discord, or even just sent an ask. ive loved talking to each and every person. i love everyones different personalities and have enjoyed every moment of talking with them (and many, many of them make me giggle and smile)

also also personal thanks to those who just exist & create in the community, and those who leave nice tags on my art...i read the tags, trust me! i smile and giggle at the tags i see, some make me think and some give me ideas, some have even given me inside jokes with my friends! (to the person who once said on my old loss.jpg post: “op im coming for your skin.” i did not forget)

also also ALSO a more personal thanks to snowgem, holly, and xdipp.

idk the chance theyll all see this but snowgem has been incredibly kind and fun to talk to, if even just a little bit. we dont talk much but i always love her posts and try to comment as much as i can.

i feel like i dont say it enough but i really do appreciate xdipp for as much as i poke fun at him. i cant really put it into words but hes seriously made me laugh so many times i cant count and hes made me so genuinely happy and im just so lucky to know him.

holly is my best friend and has been for 5 fuckin years. she is literally the only reason im alive bc shes saved me multiple times. idk what id do without her. nobody has made me laugh so much or made me so happy. i literally cry thinking about how much she means to me and i hope she knows she is my best friend and even with her flaws and all the disagreements and stuff in the past i never want anybody else to take her place.

im hoping for 2019 to be a good year for everyone. i want to do everything in my power to be nice and give back to the planet & humans. the world is a wonderful place and amazing people out there, and youre an example of that!!!

happy 2019!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

oh, continuing on from too-long, incoherent post made hours ago when nobody was online, obvs, No-Friends Club members put ur hands in—

one weird thing i remembered is the Experience of like, time to put interpersonal boundaries in place by setting boundaries on My Own Emotions, you know what i’m saying! like for example the Cold Math issue of having no friends, where like, you have a few ppl who talk with you, and just like, thanks to proportions and statistics alone, on your end its like thank god for these noble few who are each like, 490% of the good interactions you get in life, the beautiful line of defense between you and utter isolation, and on their end its gonna be like, you’re a person they talk to sometimes. and that’s too easy to forget sometimes so i just commit to remembering it, and like, deliberately Not getting overenthused/overinvested about it, cuz it’s just not fun to sorta put the cart before the horse and then have the repeated realization that you’re really not going to be an official friend or whatever or that significant a figure in other ppl’s lives. rough!! you know what i’m talking about re: this experience?

it’s just tricky and i don’t even entirely have a handle on it to this day (tho a way better handle on it than when i had to figure out how this situation worked years ago) in part cuz like, actually, despite having been isolated in varying degrees for like, basically my whole life except less during college tho i often had Big Lonely problems then too, despite that and also despite anxiety ishes (issues) and discomfort with social situations sometimes for other reasons, i’m like, actually a real social person when its the kind of social setup i Can be comfortable with, which is a decent variety imo. and i really like people actually, if they arent terrible, and i really like interacting with them If They Arent Terrible, and in theory i would Love to have friends and that’s always been true. and im an enthusiastic and passionate person, what can i say, so it’s a funky time having to reign that in when yknow, generally, like “oh im excited to have a friend” should be a wholly positive sentiment that’s not gonna burn you as long as the other person isn’t evil. but! i do gotta rein in that sentiment. like settle down. like i was saying before about not “hoping” to have friends technically even tho of course i’d always like to and like, if anything erring on the side of caution and not being like, oh yeah these ppl who interact on occasion / amicably with me are my friends. undersell myself eh. if i have friends i’ll try to figure it out after the fact rather than overestimate connections and be disappointed ad infinitum or what have u

also! bring it tf in for ppl with “weird” social skills! losers since preschool or whenever you started being around groups of your age peers! having the intangible Vibe that ppl pick up on and you get sort of socially written off or the Sort-Of-Contempt which is loads of fun. and kind of operating on slightly different frequencies communication wise, or having your social / behavioral cues be misread b/c its not the “normal” meaning, all that kinda thing, so that your Trying To Be Friendly might be Weird In A Bad Way to other ppl, or your social discomfort getting read as “they don’t like us” instead of “they aren’t comfortable with some aspects of this situation”, etc etc etc.....it’s a bummer cuz like, thank god for online socialization b/c in a lot of ways for a lot of reasons its so much more doable for me, but there’s still ways it has downsides, like, i don’t like groupchats which is like, synonymous with We’re Actual Friends Now, so, tough break for me there, and i don’t often start talking to ppl b/c i don’t assume any particular individual would be interested in that and it takes ages for it to occur to me that anyone might, and i don’t think i always am that good at writing my thoughts and also just like In Person i often don’t know what/how to say things even with zero pressure and also just like in person i can be sort of cagey and Underwhelming......whereas IN person i can actually be chatty as fuck and often overtalkative and i like to Get Silly and all that shit. not to say im not underwhelming in person, too! cuz yeah most of the time im overly quiet and people are surprised when i talk or when i make reference to the fact i have Big Opinions and big emotions b/c they thought i just had an equally quiet inner world i guess lol.......like yeah!! on one hand i’m like woops im fucking this up cuz im holding back and on the other hand its like uh oh now im making a mess cuz when i dont hold back im generally not In Accordance With Ppls Tastes And Preferences cuz im being too much. sort of lose-lose-lose. me and cats are the same. also i ought to be better at initiating conversation but i’m crap at it cuz im like, lowkey constant assumption that if ppl arent talking to me they don’t want to and it’d be annoying to say something, which is not Correct. but also i’m always nervous and nervous about ppl. oh well, we’ll get there maybe

anyways i like when characters have no friends and it’s not for lack of trying/wanting them!! it’s a weird experience and ya love that Relatable Material. like its funny alana calling everyone “acquaintances” cuz im out here doing that already lol my friendly acquaintances......like ideally yeah it’d be nice to have close friends but i do appreciate Being A Casual Fixture On The Perimeters Of Someone’s Life And Maybe Sometimes I Get To Be A Small Positive Experience In Their Existence for what it is, but it Is fairly depressing being the fleeting NPC in the outer / tangential orbits of mostly everybody who knows you. c’est la vie!!!! it is both good and not good. anyway back to acquaintances. yeah like seeing that “earnest efforts to have friends but it fails for various reasons” is fun cuz like yeah!! population: Same! though i’ve never really been like that specific character. i also like the book “the murder of bindy mackenzie” and the character is kind of like alana’s too. an academically supersuccessful girl who tries to reach out to her peers but her methods don’t work and she’s misreading others and others are misreading her and she’s distressed about various aspects of her life and also, someone’s trying to kill her. though i wasn’t too much like those other characters either. i feel like luna lovegood makes the list, on account of she like, is just nice and friendly but nobody likes her because of apparently weird interests which shouldnt be considered weird but i guess that was a probably-accidental commentary on how arbitrary Social Acceptability can be, and also because she is sort of unusual in terms of her average demeanor, and that’s not really reason not to like her but not only does she have no friends but also people are just sort of mean to her. feels real man! fondly recalling the times i’ve had to realize in retrospect that people were actually making fun of me...etc etc...other depressing things......and shoutout to the black suits for having that collective representation of varying ways to be a weird dumbass with Issues who nobody likes. very meta that i’ve wished i could be in a shitty for-fun high school garage band for the Hanging Out With Friends aspect of it alone. nato is also great representation for “superlative academic performance but doesn’t actually care about school and only cares about like, a snail he saw today, and being a weird goofaround loser 24/7”

where was i going with this!! just adding on more ideas i guess. Tumblr Mobile Don’t Eat My Post. other lifelong members of the no-friends-and-it-sucks club @ me!! struggling with figuring out how to at least feel more okay with your crappy social experience because there’s no real way to feel good about it but we’re at least trying to feel less bad, @ me! we’re valid and we’re Didn’t Ask For This But Here We Are