#now i need to go copy paste the stuff for my discord friends
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melodiclune · 3 months ago
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Boo!!! Have a curse on ye!!!
To breakth the spell, name thou mutuals and what you like about them!!!
(not all of them. Minimum 5)
Melmel do you hate me. What if I forget someone. They're gonna hate me forever. I'm literally going to go through my mutuals list and have to do this. FEAR. PLEASE I DON'T MEAN TO FORGET ANYONE I SWEAR I LIKE ALL OF YOU OR ELSE WE WOULDN'T BE MUTUALS
1. Marigolds Buddies, 2. Discord Gang, 3. Blue Lock Gang
1. @noname-nonartist Hi you're the menace to society and thorn in my side (affectionate) for the past three years. Your art is stunning and you're an awesome person to talk to and it's always a chill great time when I get to brainrot with you over ShuAke. Even if I'm not into Project Sekai it's hilarious seeing how into it you are and I'm happy for you
@himi-wiz Do I really need to tell you what I like about you? You already know my heart inside out, there's really not much else to say. I love you to the moon and back. Drink water, Fool.
@sunflowerswithtea MY TEA BUDDY you're the best friend I've had in our academic suffering together. I'm so proud of you, you never give up and try your hardest in everything. You're one of the actual nicest people I know :> I love waking up to your absolute spam of texts on discord even if we don't share the same fandoms atm! I know for a fact that you're going to drag me back into MLB with you though. FEAR.
2.
@rainingstorms1220 Total bean. Take care of yourself more. Your art is stunning, you have some amazing stories and I can't wait to see more of them. Despite all your downs you've never given up, always held your head high, and you're one of the most dedicated, passionate people I know. You're welcome for the hermitcraft brainrot <3 Love you lots Stormy
@chibihobbitlore MARIAAAA MY BELOVED Your art is inspirationally beautiful!! You're so positive every time I talk to you, one of the nicest people ever and it's always such a nice time hanging out with you. Bullying Elder with you is one of my favourite past times :DDDD You're not on Tumblr much but seeing you on discord always makes me go "!!! HI MARI ILY" hehehehe
@eldestofdragon You. You are most definitely not on Tumblr much, part of why I'm tagging you here. Little shit. You're witty, always pull a laugh out of me every time we talk, and I love hearing you ramble about your DnD campaigns and lore filled stories. You're not positive, but you're not negative either, which is right up my alley when I need someone to talk to. <3 I'll see you on discord later today! Worry less, sleep more.
@a-mel-tomelts Menace to society x2. Do I need to tell you too, why I love you? You're witty, happy, excitable and so passionate about the stuff you love. Despite your ups and downs every time I get to chat to you about our shared interests and experiences it's always a great time. Hange to my Levi, Sumi to my Akechi. Nothing else says it better! :D You already know why I love you, twat, ask me on discord if you want details again
3.
@someprettyname THE most chaotic person I know. Passionate, determined, steadfast, and really proud of what you stand for. It's really nice to see that. Every time I open tumblr and see like 30 texts in my message box I'm like "oh no, what's happened to nami this time," and no matter what I see, I like chatting with you when I get the chance <3 Seeing you in my notifs always makes me happy
@blue-thief I swear sometimes it's like we're telepathic with how often we have the same views on things. It's always great chatting chaos or media analysis with you. It's so easy to fall into conversation with you, and seeing you be so certain in your skin sometimes is honestly really nice. You care about your friends so much it's so wholesome. I hope your exam went okay!! I hope I can support you in any way you need from me :3 I'M STILL WAITING ON THAT ASK I SENT TO BE ANSWERED, BEN /j
@zendersenders Fellow Rinsagi enjoyer, again shares a lot of the same views as me so it's always a super fun conversation to have. Fanfic buddy, I have almost dragged you into Persona hell with me. Whenever I see you in my notifications it's like "oh hey, zender's here!! hi!! :DDDD" little dopamine hit. You're a total sweetheart. Except when you decide to terrorise me with Mel, then not so much smh
@galaxynajma Fellow birb enjoyer, has the same media taste as I do which is great to see on my dash, one of the most lovely people on this damned website. One of the rare other KaiSae enjoyers. Talking to Najma is like.. a peaceful chat on a picnic blanket, with a clear sky and cool lemonade in our hands. It's like a moment of reprieve amongst all the chaos of the Blue Lock community. I love these moments dearly :>
@getosugurusbangs Plushie Menace #1. A great person to talk to, even with all the chaos that you dump into my inbox lmao. One of the few people here that understands my Persona references!! I haven't interacted you with much outside of that, but the little interaction we've had has been absolutely lovely. We seem to have the same media taste again, although I'm not too surprised considering everything else hehehe. Your art is absolutely beautiful!! It has a uniquely Eli flavour to it that I always love seeing on my dash :D
I got Kitkat, Elle, and Chen on discord so that this post doesn't get ridiculously long 😭 I should've done the discord people on discord too but it's too late now I'm too far into this.
Good lord. I hope I haven't forgotten anyone? If I have, my deepest apologies, send me a DM or a reply or something and I'll reply immediately or else I will be a very very sad Lune
MEL YOU LITTLE SHIT JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL I POST THIS AND FINALLY LOG BACK ONTO DISCORD TO RIP INTO YOU ABOUT THIS
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green-wat3r · 2 months ago
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I am so shy I never post anything 😭 buuut I thought perhaps I could share my thoughts on jr books that I rant to my friends about (sorry I am not going in order also this is literally copy pasted from discord LOLL) here we have book eightt
Book 8 t h o u g h t s:
- THEYRE OFFICIALLY FRIENDS NOW LMAOOO every time they called each other friends I was like aaaaaaaaaa even though it *shouldnt* be that big of a deal but like. It is. Even seigi was super excited abt it and he said like isn’t it a little too late for this??? And I’m like seigi. That’s what I’ve been telling you
- this book really cemented that Richard is just. A person. Usually I would use the phrase “just some guy” but a jeweler who comes from the British aristocracy is obviously not *just some guy*. What I mean is, it was made apparent to me in this book that richard is just a guy with flaws, as is everyone, and it showed me that it’s probably intentional writing to make him seem overly perfect in the beginning but as we see more of him we realize he’s not just a mid-ly written character LOL he’s literally meant to seem perfect when he’s NOT and I love how much richard lore we got in this one!! Seriously he’s just a guy lol. A guy who sometimes gets irrationally mad at his mom, and who can unexpectedly catch colds, and stuff
- seigi and richard have been around each other for too long. I can tell. Their vocabularies are merging bc seigi’s is getting fancier and Richard’s is getting more casual and right now it’s an in between of sometimes not being able to tell who’s talking just based on the words they’re saying, and I think it’s great writing to have the characters visibly affect each other like that!! Also they are such. A fricking couple
- I forgot about this, but seigi really can be absolutely savage when he needs to be oh my god. I mean he made some threats in book 4 and yeah damn but here he really unleashed his full potential oh boy.
- there was not nearly enough of seigi being a total simp in this one. Say what you will but #letseigisimp2024/j
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senespera-ffxiv · 5 months ago
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I logged out of ffxiv for a quick homework/dinner break and
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so I guess I'm dropping my ramblings about the first four hours of dawntrail in here lol. These are raw copy pasted from my discord liveposting with minor editing, intelligibility not guaranteed
//dawntrail spoilers
I am Interested. in the --themes that's going on in dawntrail rn
remains to be seen with the rest of the sections but this first part at least was playing around with the function of tradition and rituals and whether they're still valuable or not in comparison to technological progress
the tl;dr of the plot in this section
village's crops are failing, unsure why
after a preliminary survey Alphinaud concludes that it's because the aether in there is stagnant
Wuk Lamat proposes a slightly harebrained idea entirely off the assumption that the harvest festival ritual is there for a reason, and the team decides to go along with it
at the same time her brother Koana has gone directly from observing the stagnant aether to going "I need to make something that'll make it not stagnant" so he's off to do that
Wuk Lamat ends up doing the festival ritual and it turns out its original purpose was to gather a bit of life force (and also the energy from prayer/belief cuz that's a thing that's always been there in ffxiv) from everyone before concentrating it in the earth to stop the aether from being stagnant
at the end both Aoana and Wuk Lamat's solutions are successful, and Wuk Lamat almost immediately says that Koana's solution is way more efficient before everyone else reminds her that she's also gained a bunch of extra things through performing the festival ritual that Koana didn't, namely making friends with everyone there and raising the village's spirits. Both had the same net result on the crops, just Wuk Lamat's extra effort translated into deeper social bonds with everyone else in the village
[At this point I start playing the Urqopacha section]
I am seeing the pattern
I think
so I should mention that the thing they're doing right now is a succession competition
the current ruler of Tural [Gulool Ja Ja] is stepping down and he has three children so he wants to see which one (plus one extra guy idk why exactly he's there rn) is more fit to rule
so he came up with this competition where they have to go to 7 places themed after his history and complete the trials in each place before using the stuff they get from those trials to unlock the entrance to "the golden city" (they don't know where exactly it is but that's another part of the competition and the first one to get there and unseal it wins)
the Kozama'uka section was the first one (or the second one if you chose the Urqopacha section first)
and the second one that I'm doing rn involves catching a wild alpaca
the challenge giver kept his reasons for making that be the challenge a secret, but it's pretty obvious like immediately that the actual alpaca catching part isn't important
the Pelupelu in Urqopacha are a group of traders that live in the mountains and they regularly use alpacas for transport, meaning that they already have techniques developed to consistently catch wild alpacas and tame them
you could rawdog the challenge and try to catch them with brute force and that's what Zoraal Ja (another one of Wuk Lamat's siblings who's in the competition) decided to do
but it's pretty obvious from all the nudging the challenge giver is giving that the actual challenge is putting in the effort to really understand their customs and way of life
so after Zoraal Ja ran off to go brute force catch the things the challenge giver immediately set up the actual challenge for Wuk Lamat which kinda goes like this
the pelupelu make special saddles that are treated with some kind of perfume that calms the alpacas down, and it's very useful for allowing you to easily catch them
said saddles cost about 1 million gil (Tural uses pel as currency and 1 million gil converts roughly to 10,000 pel)
the challenge giver gives Wuk Lamat about 100 pel's worth of wool and tells her that that one way of making enough money to afford the saddle would be to trade it with everyone in the village with higher value items until she ends up with 10,000 pel's worth of stuff
given that and what was going on with the first challenge, I think the current ruler's intention is to use these challenges to gauge who actually cares about all of the people he's gathered together and who is only really interested in their own goals
cuz it seems to me that the current ruler really values understanding people over anything like military expansion etc.
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erinarigby · 1 month ago
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different anon and i'm older than everyone involved in the twitter thing. but this is why millennials kept our mouths shut when we were teens online in the late 90s and 00s. i also read and wrote porn, even stuff that would be considered weird edgy and off putting but i didn't write my age down anywhere. none of us did. it's very weird to me how young people now advertise their ages and copy paste their personal info all over their internet profiles, its not surprising to me that teens are interested in explicit material but i don't understand why its so common for young people to advertise their youth.
being a teen in fandom now is really hard and its saddening to see posts from adolescents who are upset at how much hostility they encounter from older fandom users and the rhetoric surrounding it and how there's immediate bans and kicks from discord servers and everything. but this kind of situation is why that happens. really unfortunate for everyone involved but if this teaches the dead dove fic OP and their friends that they shouldn't be sharing their ages and personal info online...then it's better to take the bloody nose now then it is to learn it at a different time when the stakes are much higher.
absolutely agree, the main problem people had in this entire situation is they had their age attached to the explicit fanfiction they were posting and letting anyone access it. i really hope this doesn’t make this circle of people just go harder into the mindset that everyone is against them when they’re just really worried about their safety :( the beatles fandom is a fandom where i feel like there’s not much animosity with age groups but maybe that’s just me, ive had very nice interactions with people a decade older than me or even people well into their 50s, i of course stay to my age group as a gen z with friends my age. but things like this happens on twitter because twitter is an app that encourages hostility and fighting
but seriously, stan twitter encourages the sharing of real names and all this personal information (i promise strangers don’t need to know your mental illnesses and triggers they will use this against you when it’s on your public profile) when i was a middle schooler on twitter i said a bunch of stupid shit attached to my real name and face and thankfully all of that shit is wiped but i deeply regret it.
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serendertothesquad · 1 month ago
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Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Odd Ones In" Episode Followup, Part 2
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Place your bets on how long this followup is gonna be. In how many parts. 2 and a half minutes in and I'm on Part 2. Good God.
Let's continue below the break!
(And if you haven't seen Part 1, peep it here before proceeding.)
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Perhaps the most pressing question that will never get answered: how can she even get home?
...
No, better question: how'd she wind up working on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls? They won't answer that one either, but it needs to be asked because we also never got an answer for Opal and Omar in Season 3.
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"They said you're needed right away, but with a very fancy accent."
This is, on some very thin level, xenophobic in the Oddverse.
Do not ask me why. This is what happens when you work in a cave behind a waterfall. Bite me.
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On God's BUTT IT IS OPAL AND OMAR ALL OVER AGAIN HUH. ONLY WITH A SMALLER EMPLOYEE BASE HUH.
Two agents, one's a hard worker, they're in a remote area...
Cool. I hate it. Thank you. 0/10, see me for summer classes on originality. The only original thing here is that the Director here is leagues smarter than "the cold bit my brain" Arctic Mr. O.
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"transfer papers" AND THERE WERE NONE FOR OPAL AND OMAR??? EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?!
Granted they got plopped into a new department, but still...we have logistics lore. Let's stick to the logistics lore. You can erase a lot of things about Season 3, but it still gave us lore of the logistical kind.
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First mistake was trusting Ozzie in that this random-ass agent is the best one in the world among a pseudo-government organization of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands.
Second mistake was thinking one agent will solve the entire crisis.
Third mistake...uh...
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Okay, third mistake is bringing back Olympia's welcome basket thing from "Xs and Os". That's it.
It's ironic because Ozzie looks like Otis, who openly showed disdain at Olympia's welcome basket in that episode.
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"One with cheese in it?!"
"Ozzie, she's lactose-intolerant."
"Aww...wait, what?"
"Now, Oprah, on the other hand..."
"Who?"
"Sit down and let me tell you a story of a little friend of ours-a named Oprah..."
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Gonna say this off the bat: the fact that this precinct's numbers are a flipped version of 13579 (97531) will forever bug me to the grave. Pretty much the show's entire Discord server has come up with more original numbers. I've come up with more original numbers!
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"Oh, I'm not your partner."
Mm. You keep telling yourself that, Ozzie. You keep living in that world of delusion.
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AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HE GAVE HER NOTHING?!?!?!?! UNDER THE PRETENSE THAT "TIME RAN OUT"???
AND SHE L O V E S I T ?!?!?!?!?!
...No, honestly, given where she was working before, an empty basket is a marked improvement.
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And we're already performing theft from Season 2's "First Day" in the form of "agent just arrives to Headquarters but is shipped off into town before anything happens".
Let's be honest: this may be a 10-year-old franchise, but I'd like some originality with shacking up with the CBBC instead of leaning on PBS like a crutch. CBBC's more lax, from what I gather. Go wild!
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OHHHHH no. Orli found a loophole. A legal loophole. You can't close the loophole, Ozzie. That was in your job description too.
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"Again, we're not partners."
I mean, to be fair, he has a point. If he were Orli's partner, he'd be wearing an Investigation department suit.
But he's not, so...he's not.
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Otto's whole "I'm terrified of taking the tubes" schtick from Season 1, copied and pasted.
Guys, I'm apt to turn this into a drinking game and then go get my stomach pumped. They're serving me this stuff on a silver platter. I can't not oblige.
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So you had to stuff it in a room with shitty-ass chains versus...getting rid of it?
Let me tell you something: in the TAoPaM 'Verse, I came up with a literal version of "The Odd Side". Basically, oddness gets zapped, and it goes to the Odd Side where it can thrive in a safe environment. It's run by a queen named Clementine, a resident of a town of dogpeople known as Galagu who has been corrupted by The Odd Side and antagonizes Mandy for abandoning her when they were children instead of helping her.
If you think that sounds more sane than whatever bumfuck idea Onom has here, you'd be right. And that's not bias -- those chains can't hold shit, let alone a door.
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I will say that this lab is already more expansive than any Lab we've seen in the past, and I like it.
That being said, Onom, the fact that you can't fit a tiny-ass egg in that room only proves me more right in that storing oddness in a tinny lil' room is a bad idea.
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Taking another shot of Fireball for this very blatant "There Might Be Dragons" rip.
And before you say "it's not a rip", allow me to remind you what was playing on PBS stations before Odd Squad UK premiered.
"There Might Be Dragons".
Out of over 100 episodes.
That's no coincidence.
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Behold, the man who will reinvent every single piece of medical research about pilonidal cysts and make every medical researcher in existence who is focusing on it break down into tears.
And if you happen to not know what a pilonidal cyst is, I envy you dearly.
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He's...he's sitting on it...on the floor...
Y'know, at least Oprah had the decency of being elevated. Oswald...
...No, actually, Oswald was worse, because he was sitting on the dusty dirty ground and bouncing on it.
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See, this is the kind of tourist my state fears.
The only reason why we don't yote 'em into the sun is because, aside from the obvious morality reasons, they give the state revenue and lots of it.
So yes, I can, indeed, relate to this despite being a dumb lil' American.
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If things are so bad that you're sending out your cook to go deal with a food-related odd problem, you are 100% fucked and having Orli there won't solve a lick of shit.
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Behold: a child who has gotten more pilonidal cysts than most people will ever get in their lifetime.
Nice to see the creepy "exercised lately" PSAs have not made their way to Britain enough to teach the children not to plant ass so much and to stand up and move.
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"Agent Orli is the best agent in the world."
I can name 13 agents who are more than willing to contest you on that, Ozzie.
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"Wow! You're all so polite here!"
As opposed to...Canadians, who are well known for being polite? As in, the country you came from?
Yeah, you don't get out much, do ya?
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God, I haven't had this much combined fun and rage over stupidity since dealing with the vehicular stupidity that was littered all throughout Season 3.
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Now this is a guy who has seen some shit in his lifetime.
Y'know...beyond...lightning coming out of his head.
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"The Towel-inator's my only gadget!"
You laugh, but it makes sense considering she comes from the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, "towel ain't big enough" be damned.
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It took them seven entire fucking minutes to show a math lesson, and for this franchise, that is some hella good restraint for a 22-minute episode. Normally you'd be exposed to one before the five-minute mark!
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Episode gotta episode, but I'm laughing at how Ozzie actually has gadgets to begin with considering it seems he doesn't really get out much. His expertise is helping around HQ, not helping clients.
(On to Part 3!)
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borderlinereminders · 2 years ago
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I'd like to see more on what the symptoms of bpd actually are. Like, I know the rough idea and can infer a few from your coping strategies but I feel that more explicitly saying 'these are the official/listed symptoms and this is my experience with them' would help.
Burnout is hard, so I hope you take every day as it comes and use your personal self-care discord server, which is a really good idea by the way!!! I hope it gets better for you soon and have a nice? positive? better? good? relaxing? improving? peaceful? serene? awesome??? day.
Hi anon,
I don't actually relate to a lot of the symptoms any more, but I can share how I used to relate to them before making as much progress in recovery as I have.
Big disclaimer that a lot of the stuff I did in the past wasn't okay, and I am in no way saying that all people with BPD do things like I did or have done. Please don't use my bad choices in the past as any sort of "proof" to be ableist to those with BPD or other personality disorders. As was said in the anon's ask, these are my experience.
This is a long response, so putting it below the read more.
These are the "official" symptoms for BPD - but I also think a lot of information about BPD out there is outdated and inaccurate. I copy and pasted the wording of the bolded part from a web page about BPD.
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment This one I used to experience a lot more, but I do still occasionally feel these thoughts creeping in (the worry that people will abandon me) but I no longer engage in reacting to those thoughts/feelings. For me, I'd be happy when I was with someone but I think due to a lack of emotional permanence, I used to be afraid people were going to leave me when they weren't near me. The second I wasn't around them, all the reassurance went away and I'd find myself panicking and doing things (not healthy things) to try and make sure they didn't leave. Ironically, these things usually ended up pushing this to become a self-fulfilling prophecy and I lost those people anyways as a result of sometimes toxic, and usually unhealthy behaviours.
Unstable relationships This isn't really the case for me anymore due to finding better coping mechanisms, but a lot of my relationships were unstable largely due to my efforts to avoid abandonment, but also due to me not being able to handle my emotions in a healthy way. People usually ended up having to put a lot of effort/energy into a friendship with me. I'm not saying it's wrong for friends to need to help you or things like that, but at this point in my life, I needed help all the time. And a lot of the things I needed help with weren't necessarily reasonable. I think I experienced a lot of "learned helplessness."
These relationships were often unstable for me as a result of my "splitting" as well. This was the switch between idealization to devaluation. Someone could be good, and perfect until they did something that I saw as "bad", or "wrong" or something like that and then they were "bad" and "terrible." While I still find that I experience splitting now, my coping mechanisms allow me to move through it more quickly and not let it impact how I act (because I always know deep down that it is temporary and reacting on it usually hurts both me and my loved one.)
Unclear or shifting self-image For me, I used to switch my hobbies and interests depending on the people I was most involved with at the time. I'd frequently go back and forth between thinking I'm a terrible person to feeling good about myself.
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors My impulsive behaviours were usually to engage in self-harm, but also to say/do things on a spur of the moment due to emotions. For example, it might have been the way I lashed out and accused a friend of hating me and not caring (driving them away) because they hung out with another friend rather than stepping back to realize that it wasn't a justifiable response. What I needed was some time to look at the facts clearly before reacting.
Impulsive behaviours can also include things like substances, spending, sex, etc.
Self-harm I'm not going to get into specifics of this because I don't think it's necessary but I do want to say that sometimes self-harm behaviours aren't as obvious as you might think. For some people, doing a certain thing can be good for them but someone can also use that same behaviour in a self-harm way. Something doesn't have to be inherently harmful (like physically harming one's self) to be a self-harming behaviour. What really matters is your intent when engaging in the behaviour and how it makes you feel. (For example, someone may thrive off alone time, but someone else may isolate themselves as a way to harm themselves.)
Extreme emotional swings I experienced a lot of these due to a lack of emotional permanence. When I was happy, I was so happy and nothing could bring me down. But when I was sad, it was so crushingly sad and it was the only emotion that was real. It was the one true emotion and it was hard to understand that it wasn't forever because I couldn't recall any other emotions, even in memories.
Chronic feelings of emptiness I still experience this, though not as much. Usually in the winter months, or the time leading up to my time of month. Sometimes it's almost like feeling numb for me. it can feel like everything is "dark" in me or that there is a hole in me. Sometimes I'd do extreme things to try and "feel" and fill the hole, but nothing worked.
Explosive anger I've worked on this a lot, but I used to snap and lash out at people. I still feel the extreme anger, but what I've worked on is helping manage why it happens. For example. I used to get super angry when my friends didn't do the things I needed/wanted or didn't notice I was sad. This improved once I realized that it was unfair of me to expect them to be a mind reader, and even if someone wasn't able to help didn't mean they didn't care. I've worked a lot on myself. But often the explosive anger would lead me to self harm or engage in other impulsive behaviours.
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality For me, this was feeling "outside" of my own body. Like I was watching my life happen to someone else, almost like a movie or a dream. (I struggle with this still now, mostly when I feel empty.)
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dirty-osc-confessions · 4 months ago
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Coming back to copy-paste my confessions for the background of my anon sona. The concept of an "anon sona" is kinda crazy esp since I can't share it on Tumblr bc my style is somewhat recognizable to those who know it, and part of the name is being anonymous. I guess it's better to have "đŸ«łđŸ«ŽđŸŠ· anon" be the person tied to my words than my main blog/image.
I've been quietly using that emoji combo for at least a year before I was even on Tumblr though, so if any of my close friends ever get Tumblr and find confession blogs I'm done for.
The only place I think I can safely put the art itself is the main oscconfessions blog's discord, but the link expired, so I'm trying to be patient to wait for the meetup to end so I can beg for a new one. Honestly, it being closed right now hurts rrgfghg.
5 hours on my Freaky Tooth drawing so far. If anyone wants to see it, I can send it in the inbox, and as long as it's deleted eventually, I'm good. The want to show off art is slowly arguing the style recognition argument away
Something to confess while I'm here, the months Airy was gone in hfjone makes less sense the more I think about it.
Food & water are the basics - based on the assumption that hfjone follows the same rules/standard of other object shows, objects need to at least eat to survive. Furthermore, we can see that there are restaurants in the osc version of San Francisco, and if not that, there's at least a bar. Alcohol as a beverage was made through wheat products, which were only harvested for the purpose of food in the first place. There's always the possibility with that that in this alternative timeline, beer/alcohol was made later on in the modern age through experimenting with brain chem's reaction, and in this case, I present water. In the hfjone investigations, much like in a real police questioning scenario, each of those who give testimony are offered water. This is to build rapport, but I don't have time to go into criminal psychology (as much as I'd love to talk abt it, this is an osc confession), so instead I'll say for the sake of argument that water IS essential to an object living.
Where did they get the water during that time??? Sure, there was the swimming pool, but I doubt they'd do that for months without making some form of cup. Slurping up water WHILE SWIMMING IN THE WATER is a terrible idea, you will get another Liam scenario. (Also feel like the water level might've gone down a bit, but who cares.)
Food??? I think at this point, they still had Whippy Creamy, but whipped cream is not a viable source of nutrients. ALSO, there's an issue with quantity. Do you really think one tub of whipped cream could sustain a group of more than even ONE object for that long??? Idk, maybe they just started eating tree bark from those trees we see in the challenge to "run to the tree and back".
I have less of an issue with Airy's version of this. There was probably some wildlife/edible plant life around he could get in a decade.
I mean. You could always just. Moldy is still a piece of bread, and if you cut off the moldy bit, you might be able to last a bit. They didn't do that though, sucks to suck not to resort to cannibalism in basically a stranded island scenario. Speaking of, object anatomy, yeah? Weird stuff, but I'll talk about that some other time.
Still enjoy hfjone. I don't have anything vitriolic to say other than I still hate bfdi with all my heart and soul. Love all the algebraliens, though ♡
I didn't double-check any of my claims here, but I think rewatching all of hfjone/the investigation tapes earlier this month is still fresh enough in my mind to talk about.
I find Pi and Animatic are those I'm most 'down bad' for. Jjjjjesus I didn't plan on this being an nsfw consfession though, and it's already getting quite long as is.
xoxo, đŸ«łđŸ«ŽđŸŠ· anon (freaky tooth)
wow, interesting stuff. is there a history of adhd in your family?
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gurokatt · 10 months ago
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hey, me again. I only just noticed you got around to my ask and felt the need to follow up.
it feels like... you didn't really read it? sorry to be blunt, but given that you seemed to reply to things I outright said I wasn't accusing you of, it just feels that way.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
examples above ^^^ with highlighted screenshots being things I said and non-highlighted being your replies. there are other things I could have pulled as well, but I didn't for brevity's sake.
in any case, on recent updates I've received, as well as your own addendum to your initial reply, I feel I either haven't accurately made my points clear or they were misconstrued in some way.
I don't think that you word-for-word copy and paste things into your final, published fics. I said as much the first time. but you have said on multiple occasions that you take ideas from others and paste them into your outline. I also said that this wasn't a problem in and of itself, because it's not. but when the ideas you're basing fics off of are as hyper-specific as they were, it can't really be written off as a "same common trope." those people deserved credit at the very least, and preferably to have been asked permission in thr first place before their ideas were put into your outlines. personally, I've written multiple fics for another fandom that were based on ideas from friends, or tropes I'd seen in other fics. you seem to think that this is what i and others are taking issue with, when it's not. the difference is that, according to at least one instance, you've neglected to obtain proper permission to be using these people's ideas.
I think that there's more nuance to the question of whether you are a "plagiarist" or not. I wouldn't say no, but I would say a hard yes, either, because this is a gray area.
what I think you need to do is look through your existing outlines and find the sources of the ideas you pasted in (whether by discord term searching or however else, I don't really know where else you talked about them), and then at the very least, credit those people in your fics. the people whose ideas were used should not be under an obligation to figure out which works were lifted from their ideas and reach out to you, because they aren't the ones responsible for their ideas being lifted.
any and all harassment you're receiving is unhelpful to either side of the argument and I hope it settles soon.
- anon
Hi thanks for your response.
Dyslexia and currently bad mental state have made it harder to remember what i have and haven't read. So i am sorry for the response i made before.
You're right. in conversations about people i talk to about my fic ideas i have copied/pasted their thoughts they gave to me about their ideas usually i have asked "hey can i put this onto a document" but there may have been one or two times where i did it without asking
[these have probably been when im asking people for ideas for my own fics, whether its changing scenes/backstories for SAW 3D or character stuff]
It has been so long since i worked on the outline but I should have written down whose idea is whose. I plan on going back through my outlines and fixing all of that.
I have gotten carried away. this is the first time in any fandom ive written more than 2 fics for. I have taken ideas without meaning to and then forgot where i had taken them from.
for that I am deeply sorry and apologetic. this is what i want to change and fix from now on.
I really do try to credit as well as i can for my ideas. but I obviously need to get better at it.
Out of the current wips that i have started writing. one fic is based on an rp. another fic is based on a comment i got on my puppy fic and another off of that with expansion and more angst. [notes on who these people are have now been credited for when i ever get around to writing them]
i have 15 main fic ideas.. and even more that are just concepts.
The timeloop fic i will give to my ex friend. because the original idea is his and I have been hesitant on working on it for a while.
You're right and I worded what i said horribly in the last post.
I have been talking for hours with a person about this. and I have realised what I have done. the harassment i got did no help except make me defensive and lash out.
It's only after i have gotten constructive criticism and told what i have done that I realised my mistake.
I am autistic, i dont like using mental disabilities as an excuse for what I have done. I am saying that it has been a REASON for this happening in the first place.
but i wont lie and say that i have done any of this maliciously. I have forgotten things and remembered them as if they were my own thoughts.
This is of course not an excuse, things have slipped through the cracks and I never noticed them until people pointed it out and were rightfully angry at me.
I don't know if any of my current published fics need another credit. I try to credit when i can. this includes editing and beta reading.
The ideas I have posted have largely been my own [fool me twice being a tumblr prompt my friend suggested months ago]
It turns out the majority of the fandom [and then some] do not like me, I doubt i'd ever be able to fix everything. But i want to try. I want to apologise to everyone ive hurt or made it feel like i've used them
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bvannn · 9 months ago
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Weekly update February 23, 2024
I know I just woke up so this is early, but I don’t anticipate having time to write this later. I’ve had a ton of homework this week and been feeling really bad. I don’t know how much of it is more lingering sickness from surgery, if I caught something going around campus, how much of it is my congenial illness, or if there’s something else, but I assume it’s a mix. That coupled with homework means I didn’t really get much of anything done this week. I don’t know how next week will be. My congenial condition is probably the worst, because it prevents me from being able to get up out of bed when it’s flaring up, so I’m going a lot longer without food. That coupled with surgery sickness making me anxious and trying to justify not eating, has me a bit worried but not worried enough to force myself to eat. I feel gross when I eat. My stomach hurts every time, most of the food I have isn’t healthy anyway, it’s smarter just to not. That’s probably why I got more drunk off of less alcohol last night, honestly, although I did force myself to have lunch and dinner so I wouldn’t put myself in danger.I play it overly safe with alcohol, since I know how much it takes to almost kill me, and alcohol is really the only reliable way to take an anxious edge off before bed right now. I have leftover oxycodone from surgery but I want to save that for when I need the painkilling effects, and I have a couple friends begging and pleading me to try weed again, but I’ve never really had a desire to, and I haven’t really known why until I really thought about it this morning: weed puts a focus on your body, it doesn’t numb your nerves like alcohol or oxy do. Which means it brings focus to my condition, which is distressing. It’s like meditation, it only works if you’re already healthy. I wish I could have put that together sooner, it probably would have made turning it down a lot easier, since they would understand. I know they aren’t trying to be malicious, they just don’t understand because I had no way of communicating it to them. Now that I know what’s wrong, I can put it off for a while, until my congenial condition is cleared up, in a few years. Anyway enough Health rambling, art stuff
The main thing I did in the way of art this week was fiddling with vocaloid. Still not sure which banks to get, but it doesn’t matter too much since I won’t have the money for them for a good while anyway. Right now is to throw together the actual vpr files with the default banks, and then pass them to friends on discord who already have the banks, so they an render the MP3 and pass it back to me. Extra steps, sure, but it’ll work. I’m hoping to find a way to copy and paste the phonetic lyrics too, so I can see how the Japanese banks handle English, but no dice so far. If I need to write them out manually, I can, too.
As for instrumental music: I keep trying to throw together small beats late at night and they always sound like shit. I posted the one the other day and the next morning it was terrible, but I used a drum machine of course it was going to sound awful. I do essentially have the ambient instrumental one done, still running it past test audiences, which is a bit harder since people are less likely to spend the time test listening to a song vs giving a drawing a once over. I’m tempted to make my own discord server to try and garner a little community where people can test listen to stuff and post art, but I don’t know if I’d have a way of moderating it, I’ve seen some awful people on public discords. I might give it a few listens over myself and maybe just send it anyway, but I don’t trust my ears, I maybe don’t hear the instruments at the volume they actually are. I’m not sure, which is why I want to play it safe by passing it through peer review. Peer review is important, it’s the reason hazbin hotel was good while helluva boss wasn’t.
I haven’t been doing drawings, due to time and energy. Today is the due date for the worst of my homework, so I’ll try to get stuff done this weekend. I want to animate but have been having art block in that department. Honestly a fair amount of art block all around. Energy is also a component but last night I slept well, so I’ll try to get more sleep in the next few days, see how it helps. Unfortunately that’ll mean no staying up late to do drawings but that’s fine probably.
I also haven’t been getting comic progress done the way I want, but it’ll be fine, I can pick up again soon. I’m at 20 pages thumbnailed, moving into ‘act 3’, then I’ll go over and add in whatever I need to reach count and to fix any unnatural scenes. I’ll try to get back to ‘one a day’ starting tomorrow. Block is a bit hard on thumbnailing because it makes me just want to slap the panels on the page, but that’s lazy, I can have more fun with it than that.
I think next week the plan is going to be eat less food, spend more time with friends, go to bed earlier, back to one a day thumbnails, and whatever else I make I make. I’ll try to get art to go with that finished song done, and I’ll try to figure out how to sound balance it. Hopefully I can get that done in time to post it before the next update.
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findroleplay · 1 year ago
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Hi, hi, welcome to my begging hour.
I strongly encourage everyone who is interested to check my pinned on my page! It includes a writing sample and more (probably helpful) info!
I will not respond through likes/interaction on the post. Instructions on how to contact me are at the end.
|CanonxOc|Doubles|Fandom|
Fandoms I'm Seeking:
Spiderverse
Nitty gritty (tweaked but largely copy and pasted) details below!
Same copy and pasted intro ehehe:
Hello! I am Chainsaw or Fami, whatever you preferrrrrr.
|20|She/Her|EST|
I write, MxF, M//, F//
I prefer to write on Discord, I also primarily dabble in Canon/OC (doubles ehehe). I also prefer that anyone I write with is 18+ for my own comfort.
I’m currently in college, my semester has started! So activity varies but, largely I'll be in ooc if needed. I don't shut up if given the room. I will say that my posting time may be boiled down to once a week/twice a week, it all depends on my assignments and workload.
I do adore ooc and getting to know my partners. I do play a few games so I’m happy to add anyone to my friends list. I love making fan art of our characters + ships, chatting about head canons, playlets, etc ,etc. I don’t shut up! I love babbling about stupid stuff, I am insane!
I am okay with AUs, love em'! Canon divergence too, which is something I do frequently hahaha. Throw your ideas at me, happy to do almost anything for your side.
Fandom Info + Interests
Spiderverse
God this shit lives in my brain rent free, RENT FREE. I love Spider-Man!! ATSV being on streaming sites now is making me go crazy, I need to write it immediately!
Characters I'm seeking: Miguel O'Hara, Peter B Parker
Characters I can write: Gwen Stacy (selective), Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Spot (Jonathan Ohnn) Pavitr Prabhakar, Lyla, Peter B Parker. A lot more, just ask!
I will no longer be writing Miguel O'hara at this current moment, I've written him too many times, a girl is getting burnt out!
Can do poly if asked! Of course, I might ask for it too if that's the case lmao.
I have interest in wanting to write Hobie (really want to practice his muse), Lyla and Pav the most, mostly because all those little fics and comics I write are rotting my brain. But seriously, I'm happy to write anyone, I want to better my muses!!
If this has interested you:
Shoot me a DM!
Just DM me, I hate cold calling people.
-
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splattacktastic · 1 year ago
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CLOSED Check page for new oneâ”Šâ”Šâàœ»àœŽÛȘÛȘ♡ ͎. ïœĄËš   °
To read about my preferences, writing style and rules (I guess??), see here!
|CanonxOc|Doubles|Fandom|
Fandoms I'm Seeking:
Spiderverse, Overwatch
Nitty gritty details below!
Same copy and pasted intro ehehe:
Hello! I am Chainsaw or Fami, whatever you preferrrrrr.
|20|She/Her|EST|
I write, MxF, M//, F//
I prefer to write on Discord, I also primarily dabble in Canon/OC (doubles ehehe). I also prefer that anyone I write with is 18+ for my own comfort.
I’m currently in college, at the time of writing this my semester is starting soon.
I do adore ooc and getting to know my partners. I do play a few games so I’m happy to add anyone to my friends list (esp for Overwatch). I love making fan art of our characters + ships, chatting about head canons, playlets, etc ,etc. I don’t shut up! I love babbling about stupid stuff, I am insane!
I am okay with AUs, love em'! Canon divergence too, which is something I do frequently hahaha. Throw your ideas at me, happy to do almost anything for your side.
Fandom Info + Interests
Spiderverse
God this shit lives in my brain rent free, RENT FREE. I love Spider-Man!! ATSV being on streaming sites now is making me go crazy, I need to write it immediately!
Characters I'm seeking: Miguel O'Hara, Peter B Parker
Characters I can write: Gwen Stacy (selective), Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Spot (Jonathan Ohnn) Pavitr Prabhakar, Lyla, Peter B Parker. A lot more, just ask!
I have interest in wanting to write Hobie, Lyla and Pav the most, mostly because all those little fics and comics I write are rotting my brain. But seriously, I'm happy to write anyone, I want to better my muses!!
Overwatch
Overwatch has been a fixation of my since foreverrrrrrr. Despite all the problems within the game, I will never let go of my sillies!! AND pve is out, I'm eating!!
Characters I'm seeking: Cole Cassidy (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE), Genji Shimada, possibly up for a Mercy or Ashe but I haven't finished the sheets of the girlies I want to pair with em'.
Characters I can write: Whoa baby this list is long, please ask! I've written almost everyone
Characters I WON'T write: Now I'm not a hater, I've just written these muses too much, I'm sick of em'!! Hanzo Shimada, Cole Cassidy (Ironic I know), Widowmaker (Can be convinced...esp if it's F//)
If this has interested you:
Shoot me a DM!
If that doesn't work then, interact with this post or send an ask! I'd like to chat here a little before moving onto discord!
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homestuck-iconz · 1 year ago
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both mods ily pls rate my crackship (it is not a crackship but infact the in-sys polycule we have) jake <3 dirk <3 feferi <3 eridan they all love eachother very very much
mod dave had to write his response in discord, so let me copy and paste it here.
obviously this isn't attacking you as a system!
this is definitely a crackship, that's for sure. starting out with the most positive opinion i have, dirk and jake are obviously pretty canon and very fun together (the volcano kiss screen has been my wallpaper ever since i read that part in HS, so i'm obliged to like it.) then, erifef, which... while i'm not the biggest fan paleways, or pitchways, the way i could see it working out the most is flushed i guess? but still a no from me. then dirk x feferi, which... is a gay man and a woman the way i see it, so a polite no.
eridan and dirk... eridan is too striderphobic for that. eridan and jake, british person x british person... could be fun! jake and feferi, could be cool as friends but i don't see them anything as other than that. overall this is a 2/10 ship lmao, sorry
Now my [Mod Rose's] response!
Please note that, while I do understand you guyses context because i know yall, I'm basing my stuff off of cannon.
So!
Dirkjake - Flushed - My highest rank here too, I have a soft spot for it due to it beung my first ever homestuck ship HAJEHSJHE. Solid 8/10, They need soooo much therapy
Erifef - Flushed - I'm not a fan of Erifef, just full stop. I think I've said stuff about them before I just don't remember the exacts of what I said? They're sibling pilled in my brain. 2/10.
Dirkfef - Flushed - Okay but this could be funny with a transmasc Feferi I think. :D vs B| type beat. 6/10
Eridirk - Flushed - I've seen this before, not the worst Eridan ship out there but also I think if Cannon Eridan and Dirk interacted Eridan would hiss like a cat when they see a cucumber????? Prince moments. 5/10
Erijake - Flushed - Funny. I know they technically interact because of Erisolsprite but also. Missed comedic potential of having them interact I think. Their aspects are going to war tho. 6/10
jakefef - flushed - These guys are siblingpilled in my head too im sorry. im not gonna give them a number rating but rjahdhdsj.
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espytalks · 2 years ago
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Im ready to talk about what happened on sunday. Long post under cut, and to save time, its mostly copy pasted from a convo with a friend, so the tone is a lot more upset than i am now. i added extra thoughts in italics, and fixed typos.
Tldr, i fell into a boat, sustaining minor (but worrying) injuries, and had a big argument with my brother. Everything's fine now.
My brother has a boat, we know friends of the family who has access to a river we can boat on. Hes my brother, i like spending time with him, and he enjoys fishing. Hes super excited about this boat, man. He doesn't have anyone else to hang out with but me, so regardless im kinda pressured to go with him. I want him to be happy, ya know?
And today, we went out, second time ive ever been in a boat, and the truck gets stuck getting the boat in. Not a big deal, we can call my dad later. I have a hard time getting in, but i get in and we have a fun time.
I have severe psoriasis, and the patches on my arms started getting sunburned, so i say we should head back.
Tides low. Man.
He wanted me to get out of the boat. Im fat, man, im short, im not strong. He kept saying i can do it, that i can get out of the boat myself, and that there wasn't any other way, but when i tried, i fell back into the boat, scratching my back and leg enough to draw blood. I landed on my brother, i feel guilty about that cause we were both pinned and i hurt him because of the fall. I barely manage to roll around and get up.
Editing me coming in: i only had his foot pinned. He made it clear when we talked about it that night i didn't hurt him. He was tense at that moment cause we almost capsized, and he was focused on holding the paddle in the water to keep the boat in place, and because of me he couldn't move.
We loose the paddles we needed to push the boat to shore, he uses a fishing rod to reel us towards the paddle, we make it back to a place we could get out, but he still insists i get out first.
I cant, man. Im tired, im still not strong enough, and im scared now, and pissed, and sad, cause falling is one of my biggest fears and it already happened once.
We were actually close to the ramp with the trailer for the boat, so since i couldn't climp up and balance to get on land the hard way, i decided to wade through near waist high water to get to the slope, cause it was easier for me to get out.
Hes pissed. I learned later he heard a gater was in the area, he didn't tell me this info before i jumped in, cause he didn't want me to panic (it would have liked to know that, bro)
Editing again: unrelated but apparently discord has a word limit. Ive never reached it before this point.
I get out, im tired, were both pissed at each other. He wont let me get in the truck to sit down ( i decided to respect this, actually. I coulda said screw you and got in anyways, but i know that woulda been too far)
I sit on the bench, he calls dad to come get me (dad later called me, i gave him more info, and told him the truck was stuck and we needed help) im cold, wet, lost one of my crocs (i have both back, they're fine. Crocs can float, apparently)
We wait for about half an hour or so getting eat up by bugs in the sun and Florida heat.
Dad comes, i get in his truck, dad pulls the truck (and boat, by this point my brother got the boat onto the trailer) out of the water. My brother hands me my stuff, and dad and i leave.
I feel guilty leaving my brother to himself to wrap all that up, but he wasn't too far behind us, i guess, cause he was home by the time i had finished a shower.
Edit: he told me later he needed the time alone, and i shouldn't feel bad.
I washed the scratches as best i could, and put antiseptic on them, but im still worried about whether its gonna be ok. I don't have insurance, actually, and us healthcare is notoriously expensive, so if i get sick from this, i might be screwed. Dad seems to think its fine, i wanna trust him, but i was sitting in wet pants filled with who knows what kinda river germs for almost an hour so. Ya know.
Edit: im probably fine. Nothing looks infected, its been a couple days and i feel alright, and im being careful to make sure i know if anything develops. I have anxiety, so im always gonna worry about it, but i think ill be fine. Also, my favorite pair of pants is kinda ruined. Bummer.
Its been hours since we've all been home, we've ate dinner, ive calmed down, aside from worries about my health, and i know my brothers tired and still a bit upset about it. I think hes calmed down enough that it'll be ok, but im still anxious to really address it. He doesn't like talking about arguments and stuff after they happen, so its hard for me to get closure from events, and it leaves me feeling guilty for a long time. I have issues letting go.
Im tired, im anxious, im sad, im worried about my brother, and i think i don't ever wanna get on a boat again, but im gonna have to, i just know it, if i want him to be happy.
At this point i had a message from my brother, asking me to get him something. Didn't make a bit deal about it, (didn't even mention to my friend what the message was about) but man, im actually a bit miffed, even now. Like,??? He knew what i went through, i was tired sore, and hashtag done?? We talked about everything later, and we're ok now, i vented and we're putting this behind us, but man, he can be annoying. My friend said some reassuring stuff, mentioned it sounded like my brother was pretty rude, and i added this next part on.
Ya know, the worst part?
My brother mainly kept insisting i get out cause he thought i was only holding back because of fear. I kept telling him i couldn't, i physically cant, cause im weak and i have bad balance. He kept giving me the "believe in yourself, you can do it" advice. He didn't believe me when i said it wasn't psychological.
He was rude, but its cause he really loves me, ya know? He cares about me a lot, and he had a lot of faith in me. He's there for me when it counts. He's also just. A bit bossy, and doesn't explain things well, and he thinks he knows best all the time, and gets mad when people don't listen to him.
Im not much better, im kinda a bit of a bitch when im angry, too, but he was clearly a lot more stressed than i was, but he absolutely thought i was panicking when i wasn't.
My brother can be a bit hard to reason with, especially in stressful moments. He kinda gets locked in a mindset, and its usually easier to just let him go through his own motions and let him make mistakes. It usually means i get bossed around. Ive been trying to make it clear to everyone i don't like being treated like a child, but its still something i keep experiencing. When it bothers me a lot, i go and talk about it when everything settles.
He tries to be respectful of me and listen, which is why i tolerate it. We have a good relationship, i swear, its just. Difficult. When hes good, hes great, hes a good person, but hes also got some genuine problems, and so do i, and we need to communicate.
I was really rattled yesterday, basic stuff was thrown off, and i had minor difficulty focusing, and i was really sore. I found a bruise i didn't know i had, and i don't bruise easily. Ive been keeping the antiseptic on everything that needs it, and they're healing well.
He says it'll be a while before we go in that boat again. He does still want to go fishing, but hes gonna take me to various ponds and stuff instead. I just wanna go to the beach. He joked about how we can fish on the beach too. He laughed at the dirty look i gave him. I know hes not that serious.
Also, we saw manatees! I have some video, but it doesn't show em well. Its sad how that was by far not the highlight of the day.
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edwardos · 2 years ago
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Modern Day Latest-Version Minecraft is Actively Hostile to Autistic People with Sensory Issues
Hi, welcome to my Ed Talk. You’re probably wondering a few things about that title I’ve made there. What a claim, right? You’re probably wondering who this guy is who’s ripping on new Minecraft versions and why he has to make this “hot take” on his Minecraft blog.
But no, I swear there’s much more to it than that. I’m annoyed at Minecraft and what it is now, sure, but that’s not what this post is about. I’m not here to say “hahaha Minecraft is bad”, or start a discourse about whether the updates have made the game better or worse. This is about what Minecraft might do to you if you have sensory issues. I have to say something about this, because it has probably affected other people before if it has affected me.
I am going to share a quote that I just yesterday retrieved from my old Discord DMs with a fellow Minecrafter friend who I talk to often. He’s a streamer, and I used to join his stream chat very often. At this point it is important to note that at the time of the following quote, I had only been playing Alpha, Beta, and/or early parts of Full Release for months and months. You know, the retro shit. The stuff The Yogscast, Machinima Network, and even BdoubleO used to play. This is the exact quote, copied and pasted:
“I probably would have joined that stream a mere 12 minutes into the entire broadcast, except I had just played Minecraft 1.16 a few minutes prior, and the experience ultimately made me feel - and this is true - borderline suicidal because of how trash the singleplayer's visuals, sounds, and gameplay were. I figured it would be a bad idea to watch Minecraft live at such a time.”
That quote was hard to find, because I sent it in 2020. I had to strenuously reach into my DMs and find a specific unknown time from 3 years ago. And I have not played modern Minecraft survival seriously in all the time since then either, but I don’t play it now because well, for one thing I have a lot of contempt for it. But mostly it’s because I’m scared of the sensory distress it’ll undoubtedly put me in.
Listen, Minecraft isn’t as clean and out-of-your-face as it used to be, much more tolerable than now in versions even as late as Minecraft Release 1.6. Minecraft 1.6 could be fine for me. Minecraft FR 1.7.3 on the other hand... well, that was the version that introduced the bug where you can’t turn music off, and more than one track of music plays twice simultaneously.
Ever since Release 1.16 or earlier, Minecraft is extremely in your face, dirty, and full of pulsing graphics and horrible noises like those overly quiet furnace smelting cracks and the stupid notification “toaster graphics” that come out when you pick up an item you haven’t obtained before.
I am speaking from personal experience as somebody with Autism and sensory issues. I actually can’t play Minecraft 1.18. Modern Minecraft wants me dead with all the shit it does when I try to seriously play it in singleplayer and actually get into it. The crafting notifications aggravate my conditions. The stupid furnace sounds that can’t decide whether they want to be heard or completely silent aggravate my conditions. The food sounds - which are actually bad for another reason, which I need to save for a greater discussion, for another time - also aggravate my conditions. The music in the main menu is loud and irrepressibly constant and aggravates my conditions.
I can not stress enough how bad the latest Minecraft is for me and possibly other people who have sensory issues. If you think it’s not a big deal, it’ll be because I haven’t articulated it enough or because it’s too hard to convey. But it’s there.
This is the real main reason I don’t try setting myself up in a survival world with modern Minecraft anymore. Not the hunger bar, not the hatred of new features, not being “trapped in nostalgia”, as some people say (fuck off), not Phantoms, not the ugly textures, not the condescending way Mojang treats people who believe there are problems with the game, not the stupid furnace minecarts that don’t work anymore, not the depressingly over-estimated terrain they recently added, not the destruction of balancing, not the fact that I’ll never find a good community on a Discord server again (which is due to other sensory issue abuse design problems), not the fact that Creepers blow up whenever the fuck they want now (oh you’re not 7 blocks away yet? BOOM!), not the pillagers and other villager stuff that gets in your face when you’re just trying to vibe with the world, not the badly-presented portal transition loading screens, not the neutering and removal of convenient “Customized” world presets, not the Piglins retcon, not anything else about the version of the game that I think is bad.
It’s the sensory issues. Plain straight sensory issues are the biggest thing by far stopping me from having a look at playing Minecraft 1.18. I honestly think that one day it could have been fun to come back to the game just to see how much it’s changed, like a Big Green Dub sort of thing, laughing at how bad I personally believe - just in my own high-standards purist opinion - some of the stuff in the game is. I could actually jam to that, potentially. I could have played the game for two hours and been like “Yeah, that was pretty silly and I’m going to stop now, but that was interesting in a weird way at least.”
But I’m not going to do it if the game brutally assaults my eyes and ears.
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tunapesto · 3 years ago
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meta/dump about how much i love deltarune and its friendships just cause why the hell not. copy pasted from discord with some fixes in grammar/formatting but eng is still not my first language so be wary. i wanted to post it here because i think it sums up a lot of my thoughts :)
you know ive had a realization recently due to personal events etc etc and like. i keep thinking about "you can't choose who you are in this world" and how much it connects to the theme of being a teen... that whole vessel thing.
I know I know it's supposed to be an intro to how the player is involved in the story but it reminds me so much of being a teen and trying to change yourself and imagining who you are ideally, but you're still you.
You can't choose who you are, you're just you.
the main cast is a bunch of teens with a bunch of issues regarding family or lack thereof, some unhealthy coping mechanisms and how you act around people that happen When You're A Teen
susie being seen as scary and mean, when she’s everything but that, decides to just accept what people think. act tough so they cant do shit to her. she's scared of being hurt and being vulnerable so she makes sure not to show that.
ralsei has been under pressure to live up to the prophecy best he can all his life, and given that he’s been all alone all his life, he just doesn’t want them to be disappointed. hes so scared of deviating from being the "good person of the group" that any act of selfishness or being rude is practically a foreign thought for him. he even has to learn how to be comfortable with these things.
kris tries to be edgy and all that sometimes bc they like joking around but really they're very meek and soft inside. They're a bit introverted but once you get to know them, they're a solid friend and they aren't afraid to stand up for you and they don't want to step over people's boundaries because that's their friend.
We don't have much info on how kris feels over their parents' divorce but it's probably not good. asriel going away, them probably being a bit distant with noelle ever since dess, and the awkward relationship they have with both parents because the toriel just refuses to be in the same room as asgore anymore. they probably feel like after that divorce, and how everyone got a bit more busy, they don't feel like their own family knows them very well. except for asriel at least but hes still really busy.
And then there's Noelle. the holiday family has all sorts of vague fucked up shit but the most interesting thing to me is dess. she was her guardian, her best friend practically, she defended noelle and looked out for her and even though they all went out in the woods being scared shitless, noelle would still be comforted by her big sis who was there for her. and now she isn't. that sudden loss flipped the balance in the family and, you'd understand, a missing child would not do any good for any of the family members. noelle finds comfort in scary things like a memorium of dess and how she felt about her. she finds them nostalgic, and even sweet, as long as there is someone there. it even plays to how she interacts with people.
ever since dess' loss, carol (noelle’s mom) probably worked her ass off to find her, and after a few years of trying to find her missing daughter, then giving up, deciding to just bury herself in work to forget. there was a lot of things that needed to be done about the town anyway. rudy, like the story, lead the pack of reindeers in the night with a brightly lit red nose. he was the light of the family. kept some of the balance with lighthearted humor, banter and all stuff dad-like. but then he got sick. and then it was noelle and her mom all alone. all that stress probably sucked a lot of emotion from carol to actually properly look out for her child in a caring way and how she's always so busy.. and then noelle is alone again. sometimes she stays over at catti's, shes a close friend, and over the years theyve probably considered her as part of their family.
so all these teens, going through all these problems, they meet each other. they interact, they grow, they become friends. my point is that deltarune as a story has friendship and coming of age as one of its cores and its so beautiful. the cast learns how to make friends, to be vulnerable with one another, to let their guards down and just hang out. they have their first crushes, they find out a few things about themselves, and sort out some of their own issues too.
obviously deltarune isn't finished so this can all be thrown in the gutter and I don't want to be sappy but i truly truly appreciate deltarune as a game and as a story, it's just so personal to me over the past few months and it's so fun to analyze all these characters and explore their pasts and relationships, and how much I relate to them.
like.... take the fun gang, for example. including lancer here. they all learn or gain something from each other in a sense, y'know? They're a nice group of friends. susie and lancer are just having fun being themselves, and lancer learns how to stand up for his friends. he wants to help them so he attacks his own dad, which he himself wanted to protect, and then gathers all citizens of the town so he can help them. susie decides not to fight because she doesnt want to hurt her friend because she cares. then she puts her full trust in kris to do the right thing. she does not fight until the king prompted them to.
susie and kris. they start off as cold as can be, but it seems like kris wanted to be friends with susie at some point before dr took place or at least just didn't think of her as a bad person. and then, at the king fight, where the king tricks them all and hurts them badly. the soul has no control in this cutscene. and yet, despite being hurt, they defend susie. They stood up and shielded her from the attack. when the king takes kris to finish them off, susie pays the favor in turn and calls them her friend. that cutscene was just fucking glorious man.
and then we have susie and ralsei. again, they start off on different ends but at the fight... susie remembers ralsei's pacify spell. and of course she did. in dr chapter 2, where their friendship really shines, susie thinks ralsei is really fucking cool. aka his healing spell. And she took the opportunity to hang out with ralsei on her own and asked about how healing spells worked and they ate cotton candy together!!! ...  susie teaches ralsei how to banter. how sarcasm works and all that. ralsei's sarcasm isnt exactly very top tier or comedic, but it's genuine, and thats what ralsei is. ultimateheal isnt the most 'helpful' at this moment in time but as chapters keep going and their bond grows stronger, that spell probably grows stronger too, because that was how she learned that spell in the first place. And of course why the hell would susie pass on the opportunity to improve this spell. She's Susie, after all!
im mainly talking about susie's friendships here btw bcoz to me she's the very heart of the group. she's a very wonderful and multifaceted character with many traits and how she joshes with other characters it just.. meshes so well. she's very likeable and fun. she's the powerhouse, the comedic relief sometimes, and when needed, she can be very mature and caring. she's the core of all these friendships and its very sweet. I wish I could talk about other relationships here but like my brain juice is gone. also some friendships like kris n ralsei, ralsei n lancer, aren't particularly very fleshed out yet. noelle and kris, i think, deserve their own essay. noelle and ralsei haven't interacted much lol. i really do look forward to the upcoming chapters of this game bc i adore it with all my heart.
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sunlight-moonrise · 4 years ago
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Sugar, Spice, and Everything (Not So) Nice (Reid Imagine)
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Summary: Being a Barista and falling for a regular is as cliche as it gets. Having that customer become your new professor? Not so much. 
A/N: *Peeks head out* Hello everyone. I have come back from my unannounced hiatus to show off this baby. Major thanks to @definitelynotkatesblog​ and @clean-bands-dirty-stories​ for helping me put this fic together. This was written for the lovely @httpnxtt​ for the secret-fic-swap in the Discord (thanks @imagining-in-the-margins​.) I hope you all enjoy this smutty goodness. 
Category: Smut
Content Warnings: Face Slapping, Degradation, Slight Hair Pulling, Oral Sex (male receiving), Fingering, Spanking, Penetrative Sex, Unprotected Sex/Creampie
Word Count: 6.4K
Masterlist
Being a barista is pretty awesome. Sure, there were bitchy customers and super early mornings but it had it’s redeeming perks. We got free coffee, tea, and snacks during our shifts, which served the caffeine addict in me. I also learned how to make popular lattes, mochas, and frappes that I ended up making at home for myself one too many times. While there were the occasional assholes who couldn’t appear human before getting their hands on some caffeine, there were the regulars who made it worth it. Most of the regulars were so sweet, I appreciated a familiar face when they came in. Some.. more than others.
“He’s baaaaaaaaack,” my coworker Hazel whispered to me in a sing-song voice as she scribbled a customer’s name on a cup. I turned to see who she was talking about, but I already had an inkling about who it was.
My suspicions were correct. I turned to see one of our kindest regulars, my personal favorite customer, Dr. Spencer Reid. Is it weird to know the full name -including the honorific- of a customer? Possibly. But when I’d asked for his name to write on his cup the first time he came in, he accidentally gave me his full name. 
“Dr. Reid- uh, Spencer. Sorry, work habit.” He stuttered, avoiding my eyes after the mistake.
“No worries! What can I get started for you?”
As a Criminology major,  I learned to study the people who catch my attention before indulging them. Call it an old habit. 
Dr. Spencer Reid had earned his title and then some. He’d joined the FBI at only 22, having six degrees under his belt by the age of 27. He’d written several dissertations and co-wrote novels with his colleague, David Rossi. Someone with his reputation could be a pompous ass and have a leg to stand on, which is what made his humbled demeanor so much sweeter. He was also incredibly easy on the eyes, which was a nice little bow on top. 
Hazel liked to joke about how we’d make a cute couple but I know she only did it to watch me get flustered.  
I walked towards the counter to take his order, leaving Hazel with the task of refilling the caramel syrup. I’m always the one to help him since he very aptly pointed out that I’m the only one who makes his coffee just how he likes it.  
Some days, he’d let me surprise him with a random creation. I’d confirm if he wanted caffeine (he always did), iced or not, and any flavor requests. He’d take his drink, tip me handsomely and let me know his thoughts on the drink the next time he came in. So far, his favorite was the almond milk honey latte I’d concocted. It was nice to have a little bit of fun, especially with regulars who were as consistent as him.
“Hey Doc, what can I get ya’?” I asked.
“The usual, please,” he said with a smile. I nodded and set off to make his drink: a venti dark roast with a shit ton of sugar, a dash of nutmeg, and a tiny bit of cinnamon.
“Of course!” I quickly go to fill his order, making sure to put a complimentary treat in a bag for him. I know he had the ultimate sweet tooth so I try to sneak him a confection whenever I can. At first, he was a bit reluctant to take the free pastries, but nowadays he usually smiles when he sees the small bag. 
“Here ya’ go.” I handed him his steamy cup of caffeine along with the little treat, seeing him smile at the small pun I add to his cup, “Have a BREW-tiful day, Doctor!” I watched as his lips landed on the rim of the cup, taking a long sip of the hot coffee. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, the sight making my cheeks promptly flush. I cleared my throat before asking, “Is it good?”
“It’s always good when you make it,” he stated matter of factly, a small smile touching his lips. The heat in my cheeks rose again. “Will you be taking a course this summer?” he asked, taking another sip of his coffee.
“Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it. My first day is actually later today. I’m surprised the class section was open, to be honest.” Super surprised actually. I’d been trying to enroll in this class for the past couple of semesters but it was always full by the time I was able to even load the registration page.
“Well, I’ll wish you luck, but I’m sure you won’t need it.”
“How can you be so sure?” 
“I can just tell.” He stated calmly, like it was common knowledge. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain. Before he could respond, an insistent cough caught both of our attention. I peeked over Spencer’s shoulder to see a customer waiting for his order to be taken. I turned my attention back to the Doctor, an annoyed look painted on my face. He nodded, taking a hint from the impatient mouth breather behind him. 
“Thank you for the coffee. Enjoy the rest of your day. I hope that class goes well.”
“Bye, you too.” I waved, watching as he exited the door. I turned to the waiting customer, a bit miffed that he interrupted our conversation. But because I was at work, I plastered a fake smile on my face so that he wouldn’t see just how annoyed I was. “Welcome, how may I help you?”
●●●
After clocking out at 2:30 PM, I made a dash for the building where my class would be held. It’s not supposed to start for another half-hour, but I wanted to be sure to get there in time to choose a good seat and settle in before the rest of the class arrived.
Luckily room 301 was relatively empty so I was able to score a perfect seat by the window. I decided to kill some time by listening to some music and doodling randomly in my notebook. Some time had passed when I felt someone take the seat next to me. I turned to see a young man occupying the chair beside mine. He looked to be a frat boy based on the Greek letters he was sporting. Who wears a cap and hoodie in this weather? I really hope he didn’t expect to cheat off of me- although these types of guys always seem to do so.
I was about to return to my doodle when I felt a poke on my shoulder. I turned to give the offender my full attention, removing one of the earbuds from my ears. 
“Hey, I’m Tony,” frat boy said, with a wide smile adorning his face. I must admit, his boyish grin melted the slight annoyance I had begun to stir toward him. I returned his greeting and introduced myself as well. “I don’t mean to be a bother,” he continued, “but I like to have at least one buddy in each of my classes. In case we need help or miss an assignment or something.”
I nodded my head - a friend in a class was always useful when it came to studying and swapping notes. We chatted a bit more, learning about each other’s major and why we both decided to take a summer course. Tony is a double major and this course will satisfy the credits he needs for his psychology requirement. This is why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. 
It wasn’t until I heard the hush of the classroom that I realized the class was about to begin. I turned back to my notebook, preparing to jot down some important information despite it being the first day of class.
“Good morning class.” Wait. That voice... I didn’t even need to pick my head up to know who had spoken. “This is Criminal Psychology and I am your instructor, Doctor Spencer Reid. Unfortunately, Professor Monroe could not cover this course so I’ll be his permanent replacement. Now
”
I raised my head, watching as he continued to talk about what is to be expected in this course while a TA handed out the syllabus. He went on, able to capture the attention of everyone while speaking of the experiences he had with an array of criminals. His eyes scanned the room and for a brief moment I thought they would land on me, but they continued to take in the mass amount of students before him.
My concentration was broken by Tony passing me a copy of the syllabus. I scanned it over, making sure to highlight all the important dates. I didn’t want any exams or projects conflicting with my work schedule. I also made note of how the overall grade system is broken down. The whole thing seems pretty fair and everything was spaced out enough where I wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed with the workload.
“
 and that pretty much wraps it up. Does anyone have any questions?” I tuned in just as he was pulling the first class to a close. No one raised their hands, so he dismissed us with a reminder to read the first chapter of the textbook and to check for any emails.
“So do you want to grab lunch?” Tony asked from beside me. I contemplated whether or not to go with him. He must have seen the hesitation in my face because he quickly added, “Not as a date or anything, I just wanted to grab a bite and I didn’t want to do it alone.”
“Sure,” I smiled, “Let me just ask the professor a quick question about his office hours and I’ll meet you at the food court.”
“Sweet, I’ll see you in a bit.” With that, Tony gathered his stuff and exited the back door. 
I focused my attention on the podium, seeing a gaggle of girls surrounding him asking redundant questions. From what I could hear, their questions could have been answered if they’d read the syllabus. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, they were probably more focused on him rather than what he was saying during class. I waited a few more minutes for them to finish up before I made my way to him.
“So do I call you Doctor or Professor now?” I laughed. 
“From you, I’d respond to either,” he replied warmly. The comment made me blush. If he looked into my eyes at that moment, he’d see more stars in them than the night sky. I bit my lip to stop the idiotic grin from spreading across my face. 
He’s your professor, get a hold of yourself.
“How can I help?” he asked, bringing me back to the original reason as to why I was standing in front of him without a cash register between us. 
I cleared my throat. “Um, I was wondering if it was possible to see you outside your normal office hours? I usually work the morning shifts and I don’t want to flood your emails with my questions.” I asked.
“Of course,” he said. “You can come to my office at whatever time works best for you. I know balancing a work and school schedule can be hard. Besides, I’m usually there handling paperwork anyway.” He gave a small shrug, pushing his hands in his pockets. 
“Thank you so much. I look forward to the rest of the semester Professor Reid.” I liked the way his newfound honorific rolled off my tongue. 
“Goodbye, Y/N.”
“Goodbye, Professor.” With that, I left and headed out to meet Tony. 
I was able to find him at the food court. We got some food and chatted more about our classes as well as life outside of school. He made it easy to be his friend, and it was nice having someone to talk to. He works as a waiter so we shared our customer service horror stories and tales of sneaking food at work. It was a nice distraction that took my mind off of Dr. Reid and the ongoing battle of calling him Doctor or Professor. As Tony rambled, my mind wandered about other things I’d like to call Spencer instead. 
●●●
In that short span of two weeks, we already had an exam, an oral presentation, and a report on the psychoanalysis of serial killers. Not one day had been wasted, but this is what to be expected from a summer course. The essay was due the day before. Now we had to wait for our grades which gave us a moment to take a breath.
I was worried that my paper was subpar; especially since I chose to write about Andrei Chikatilo, a serial killer from Ukraine. He wasn’t as popular as those in America, so I ended up spending hours on deep research to find substantial information about his crimes. It also didn’t help that some of the original reports weren’t in English. I had worked hard, and hoped Professor Reid would see that, even if my writing could sometimes be a little weak. I was worried about the grade as our research papers held the weight of 20% of our final mark. 
“Hello? Earth to Y/N! Anyone in there?” Hazel’s voice pierced through my worry bubble, her hand waving in front of my face. I shook my head, trying to focus on restocking the coffee beans.
“Sorry Haze, I’m thinking about this class.”
“Funny you say that; your favorite professor just walked in. Thought you might want to take his order.” She wagged her brows at me, making kissy faces as I hurried to the front register, trying my best to not let my eagerness be so glaringly obvious.
There he was, in his usual handsome glory, patiently waiting for me to take his order. He greeted me with a small smile that I happily returned.
“Hey Doc, what can I get you today?”
He debated for a moment before saying, “Surprise me.”
“Gotcha.” I already had an in my head; it’d been a while since he asked me to make him a random drink so I’d had plenty of time to plan. We got an early shipment of ingredients for our fall-themed drinks and I figured he would appreciate some pumpkin spice in his caffeine. “How are the papers coming along?” I asked casually as I rang him up.
“Pretty well. I’m almost done, so you’ll all receive your grades later today.” Wow, that was fast. I wondered if he stayed up reading all those papers to be done by today. Probably not, a TA must have helped him.
“I am a bit nervous about mine, especially since it’s worth a huge part of our final grade.” I really wanted to get an A in this course, but it was hard juggling everything in such a short amount of time.
“Don’t worry about it too much,” he reassured. “I haven’t properly finished yours yet but it looked great just from what I’ve seen thus far.” His words gave me a little reassurance.
“Thanks. I put a lot of effort into it. Let me grab your coffee now.” Spencer walked towards the pick-up station while I grabbed a venti cup for his drink. Just when I was about to make his order, I saw another familiar face come up to the register. “Tony, hey!” I shouted, placing the cup back down, “What can I get you?” 
This was the first time he’d been here, despite him saying for the past few days that he’d stop by for a visit, even with the promise of a cake pop if he did. It was nice to see another familiar face.
“Hey coffee girl, how you doin’ today?”
“Just peachy. My feet are killing me, though.” Just saying the words caused the ache on the soles of my feet to spike higher. I thanked my lucky stars I was almost done with this eight-hour shift.
“Give me the chance to sweep you off your feet, I promise you won’t regret it.” he offered boldly. It wasn’t the first time he’d joked about taking me out. I laughed, especially since he had a girlfriend. She met us for lunch one day and we became fast friends- she was an incredibly sweet and intelligent girl, polite and elegant as well. It is a wonder how his frat boy charm won her over but opposites attract, I guess.
“Shut up, Casanova. What are you gonna have?”
“I’ll have a grande iced matcha latte, please.” I should’ve known. He told me that he loves matcha flavored food and drinks the first time we grabbed lunch after class. He had complained that there was no good place to get one on campus. 
“Coming right up.” I quickly filled his order since it was faster to make compared to the pumpkin spiced latte. I handed him his bribe-cake pop, matcha flavor of course, while he waited for me to finish making his drink.
“By the way, we’re still studying at the library for the exam later tonight, right?” Tony asked.
“Yup, I’ll meet you at 8.”
“Copy that, see you later coffee girl.” He turned to leave while I turned to make Professor Reid’s order. I put extra whip cream and a bit more syrup to satiate his sweet tooth. I grabbed a fresh chocolate muffin from the display case and popped it into a bag for him as well, drawing yet another pun on the good doctors bag. “Thanks for being such a TEA-rrific professor!”
“Here ya’ go Doc,” I called out before placing his drink and muffin on the counter. I looked up to see him no longer smiling. “Is everything okay?”
Ignoring my question, he said, “I wasn’t aware you were so close to Mr. Montgomery.”
“Oh yeah, we study together once in a while.” I could have sworn I saw his frown deepen before his features became void of any emotions. He shifted his eyes downward, his hand moving rapidly to grab the cup.
“I should get going.”
“Oh, okay” Before I could say goodbye, he was already halfway out the door. 
That was weird. I looked at the counter and noticed that he left the cupcake behind. Maybe he was in a rush?
I shook my head. I needed to concentrate on making it through the last couple of hours of work. 
●●●
I made my way to the classroom, smiling at Tony as he pulled out my seat for me. Professor Reid walked in a few minutes later, his tall figure drawing all the attention to the center of the small stage. He let us know he already graded the papers and that they would be distributed by the TA before the end of class. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach but decided to brush it off and pay attention in class. Despite my attempts to focus on his lecture, I found my mind wandering every so often anyway.
I couldn’t help but think he was less animated today. Usually, he taught with such passion that the class couldn’t take their eyes off him. But today, it felt as if we were all in a boring seminar with an ancient professor. Tony kept glancing at the clock, probably also wondering why time felt like it was going by so slowly. 
I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling the entire class. It didn’t help matters that every time I would raise my hand to answer a question, he would call on another student. What the hell did I do? 
I decided to tune out the rest of the class. There is no point in being an actively engaged student if I wasn’t going to get treated like one. I’d just get the notes from Tony later.
Thirty minutes before the end of class, the TA handed out our essays while Professor Reid wrapped. 
“Some of you did very well, while a few others struggled with the assignment.” His eyes landed on mine as he said that. It was the first time he had glanced in my direction the whole class. He moved on to the other side of the room. My mind was probably just playing tricks on me. “If you have any questions you can see me at my office hours next week or send me an email. You are dismissed.”
The TA finally made his way over to me, handing my essay in a slight fold. I looked at the grade on top and almost dropped the paper. My heart sped up as I stared at the letter in bright red ink. No way, no way this could be my report. I looked at the right-hand corner and saw my name at the top. I read through the first page and saw they were indeed my words.
How the fuck was it possible that I got a D on this paper? I knew my writing wasn’t the strongest, but a D? 
“How you’d do?” Tony asked. For a moment I forgot I was in a room with other people.
I cleared my throat, trying to relive the lump so that he didn’t hear the croak in my voice. “Umm, not what I expected. I’m going to try to speak to him about it.” Tony was a smart kid, so I was sure he could see how tense I was. Luckily he didn’t question me any further and instead told me he’d text me later before leaving the classroom.
Fortunately, there were no other students in the classroom to slow me down this time. I walked right up to the podium, watching as Professor Reid placed some papers in his satchel. 
“Professor, I need to speak with you.”
“Not now, I’m busy,” he replied, not even bothering to glance in my direction. This can’t be real. The sweet, kind Doc could not be the man acting like a total asshole right now.
“I really need to discuss with you my paper,” I pressed, raising my voice a little louder in an attempt to get his attention. That was wishful thinking on my part since he continued to fiddle with his satchel.
“I said I’m busy,” he uttered once again, his voice void of any emotion. He was about to walk past me, ignoring my whole being. His blatant disregard made my cheeks burn, and not in the usual way they usually did when I was around him.
“Spencer,” I barked, “We need to talk. Now.” For a few moments, he stood in front of me, his back facing my direction.
I was about to speak again before I heard him say, “My office. Half an hour.” He exited, leaving me alone in an empty classroom. The only things keeping me company were the fuming feelings swirling inside me and the failed paper clutched at my fist. 
●●●
I knocked on his office door ten minutes earlier than he’d told me. The anger in my gut brewed hotter the longer I waited. As soon as I heard a “Come in,” I rushed through the door, slamming it behind me. He regarded me coolly, but didn’t comment on my actions. 
“What can I do for you Ms. (Y/L/N)?” I walked up to his large desk, not bothering to take a seat in the chair in front of me. I took a moment to calm myself down before replying.
“Well, you can start by explaining to me why I got such a low score on my paper.” I guess he didn’t like being the only one of us sitting down because he stood up and leaned against the wall behind him.
“It did not meet the requirements for a passing grade as outlined in the rubric. The information given was boring and the overall topic was uninteresting. It was tedious to get through,” he responded nonchalantly, like he was giving me a weather report.  
“You said that you enjoyed it so far.” I rebutted, placing my hands on the desk. I needed something to offer me stability so that I wasn’t visibly shaking.  
“I’d mistaken your work for another student’s. Maybe Mr. Montgomery,” he dryly clipped.
A bitter laugh escaped me as I put the puzzle together. Was- was he serious? Was this man acting like this because of Tony? The audacity! The laugh that bubbled from my lips must have unsettled him. He left his position from the wall in favor of standing in front of me.
“You want to know what I think?” I didn’t give him a chance to respond before continuing, “I think you’re jealous that I have another guy that isn’t you getting friendly with me at the shop and because of your inability to keep your---“
“That is enough,” he grounded out, shaking his head. But I didn’t stop talking.
“--private feelings away from your professional ones, you decided to give me a failing grade. Do you know how hard I worked in-” my voice rose up higher and higher until I was yelling.
“I said that’s enough,” he said again, louder this time. But I wasn’t done.
“-this class? This is my life, my fucking future on the line. I’ve told you how important this all is to me and you don’t even give a shit! You’re going to let your interpretation of my relationship with another student influence the way you do your job? And here I thought you were a decent man, Professor.” I hissed, “Do you even give a damn abo-”
“Enough,” he roared, slamming his hands on the desk and caging me against the wood. His breathing was matching the upbeat pace of my own. His quick movement and the sheer volume of his voice caught me off guard, effectively silencing me. 
“I don’t deserve to be punished over your envy,” I whispered, locking eyes with him in a steady gaze.
“You want to see a real punishment, darling?” he hissed, the heat of his words almost breaking my glare, his breath fanning along my face.
We stared at one another for a while, neither of us willing to be the first to back down. The tension between us kept rising and rising until the inevitable happened. I couldn’t be sure who made the first move but before I knew it, our lips collided with a mix of rage and desperation. My arms draped around his neck as he pressed me on to the desk. He placed his hands on the back of my thighs, lifting me up high enough until I was perched on the cool wooden surface.
Spencer’s lips were soft, a stark contrast to the harsh way he was kissing me. His tongue parted my lips, gliding over mine with fervor. I couldn’t help but moan as he rolled his hips into me. He continued his rough grind, keeping my legs open as we moved as close together as our bodies would allow. He overwhelmed my senses- the smell of him, the taste of him, the feel of him. Everything was making me absolutely feral for this man. 
I never expected the gentle Dr. Reid to be so fervent, so sensual. The kindhearted, sweet professor who regularly drank his weight in caffeine never gave me this impression. But then again, I’m sure he was shocked by my attitude as well. He knew me as the friendly, bubbly barista, now student, who enjoyed his class. He was about to meet a whole new side of me, just like I was going to for him.
Spencer pulled away from me, our mouths making an audible ‘pop’ sound from the sudden separation. I tried to catch my breath as he stared at me, our chests rising and falling together. If I were to move a bit closer to him, we would be touching once again.
He took a few steps back before motioning me to step in front of him. “I want you to get down on your knees. Now.” I wasn’t going to argue with him, mainly because I wanted the exact same thing he did. I kneeled down, keeping my eyes on his face.
“You going to shut me up, Professor?” I teased, feeling powerful, even though he was looming over me. He didn’t reply, just continued to look down on me with those honey colored eyes- full of lust and rage.
I watched as he slowly placed his hands on his slacks, undoing the belt and buttons. He drew down his pants and boxers at the same time, just low enough to reveal his impressive size. My mouth salivated at the sight of his bulge as he came closer to me.
“We’re going to put that smart mouth to better use. Open.” He said, gripping my face between his fingers, forcing me to follow his orders. I opened my mouth slightly, not giving him exactly what he wanted. Instead of ordering my mouth to open further like I expected, he placed his thumb inside. He pushed the digit deep, pressing it against my tongue. I moaned around the finger, softly nibbling at the skin. He continued to slide his finger within my mouth before dragging it out completely. He wiped the excess spit on my cheek before lightly smacking it. The small shock of pain sent a shiver down my spine.
“Open, and do it right this time.”
I obeyed, opening wide enough to accept him into my mouth. My lips were stretched almost uncomfortably in an attempt to fit around him. He was so hot and thick, I couldn’t help but hum at the taste of him on my tongue. The soft “fuck” that fell from his lips had me purring around him. I went to place my hands on the remaining portion that couldn’t fit, but he batted them away.
“You’re using only your mouth.” 
Fine, have it your way, Sir. 
I placed my hands behind me as I bobbed my head, hallowing my cheeks with every rise. His shallow thrusts encouraged me to suck harder. I slowly pulled away to run my tongue against the vein protruding on the underside of his cock. I was rewarded with a groan escaping his lips.
“I should have known that you would be so good at this, darling,” he said, his voice slightly hoarse as he tried to control his grunts.
I made sure to look in his eyes as I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock. The face he made was purely angelic. The muscles of his neck protruded more evidently and his breathing became more labored. I placed him back in my mouth, this time taking my time to go down on him.
“That’s right, Princess. Show me what a good girl you are for me.” He moaned as I felt his hands weave in my hair before he pushed my head down on to him, causing me to gag around him, tears pricking my eyes. He continued his thrusts into my mouth, barely allowing me a chance to breathe. My nose repeatedly touched the base of him as I swallowed around his hard length.
Spencer tightened his fingers in my hair and I knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.  The pace was brutal, but I enjoyed the rough treatment. Knowing that I was the one making him feel good was such a turn on. He buried himself deep in my throat after a few more thrusts to finish. I swallowed his release like the greedy brat that we both now knew I was.
He eventually pulled out, a satisfied sigh leaving his lips. I swiped the back off my hand across my mouth to clean off any leftover spit and cum.
“Get up,” he ordered, his voice hoarse.
I did so, rubbing the ache in my knees as I slowly rose. “I want you bent over the desk,” he continued.
“I want you to answer my previous question.” I quipped.
“You’re not in the position to be making commands,” he growled. He wrapped his fingers in my hair again, pulling just roughly enough so that I was looking up at his face. “If you want this to end well for you, I suggest bending over my desk before I stuff my cock in that bratty little mouth of yours again.”
He released me, eyes still on my face waiting for me to follow through on his order. I turned to his desk and did as he asked, bending over the wood until my chest laid flat against the surface. I waited as patiently as I could for him. It felt as if I was in this position for an eternity before he touched me. He pushed both my underwear and skirt down to my knees before placing his hands on my hips. I heard it before I felt it- the smack on my ass that caused me to yelp.
“Fuck, Spencer. What the—” I was cut off with another resounding smack.
“Did you really think that I wasn’t going to give you a real punishment, darling?” I took a deep breath as another shiver went down my spine. He had no business sounding so hot right now. Another smack, this time on my opposite cheek, had me biting down on my lip to stop myself from crying out.
“This” *SMACK* “Is” *SMACK* “What” *SMACK* “Happens” *SMACK* “To” *SMACK* “Bratty” *SMACK* “Little” *SMACK* “Girls” *SMACK*. A sob ripped from my chest as the last blow landed. My ass was on fire and surely littered with his hand prints.
“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood since you sucked me off so nicely, or I would have made that worse.”
Gee, thanks.
“You look like such a dirty slut like this.” I felt a finger enter me easily, the wetness gathered there making my entrance ready to take him. “So wet. Was it the spanking that got you like this, or your mouth around my cock?” A moan was my only reply as he added another finger, the two digits moving in a scissoring motion. 
“Are you gonna be my sweet girl, now?” He asked as I moved my hips along his fingers, desperately trying to seek some more relief for the fire burning between my thighs as his mouth littered marks along my thighs. I closed my eyes, focusing on the pleasure he was giving me as he curled his fingers, a slow moan falling from my lips. He pulled them out of me, wiping the slickness against my still burning ass. Fucking bastard. I wiggled my hips against him, hoping he would grant me a reprieve and put his fingers back inside me. Instead, he spanked my ass one more time- one quick, sharp blow against the bruised cheek.
Just when I was about to yell at him, he placed the head of his member against my entrance. He moved up and down my drenched entrance before penetrating me in one full thrust. I took a short breath in, trying to get used to feeling so full. He was stretching me out in the most amazing way.
Spencer waited until I was grinding against him before he pulled out and pushed back into me. “Look at you, such a wanton little bitch aren’t you?” He could call me whatever he wanted, as long as he didn’t stop fucking me.
He kept a steady pace, making sure to grind into me every time he slammed back in. The obscene sound of our skin smacking against one another’s and the moans escaping our throats was an erotic symphony that had my body heat raising the temperature in the room.
He hitched my leg on top of the desk, entering in an angle that made the pleasure so much better. I couldn’t stop the whines that kept escaping my mouth every time he pounded into me. His hand stayed upon my leg, holding me down and limiting my movements. His nails dug into the skin so harshly I was sure there would be bruises left in their wake.  
“Fuck, you feel so good wrapped around me,” he hissed under his breath. “Should have known you just needed to be fucked like the cheap whore you are.” He sped up, hips snapping at an almost punishing pace. The desk creaked every time he slammed into me. I hoped no one was nearby to hear what was going on. A whine left my throat when I felt his fingers rub against my clit. I was so close now.
“Should I stay inside you? Fill you up so you walk around campus carrying my child?” He growls, his pace increasing with each passing moment. “Knock you up so the whole campus knows what a whore you are for me?” He asks, earning a cry ripped from my throat. 
“Who’s fucking you?” he grunted. I don’t know how he expected me to form a coherent statement at this current moment. My eyes could barely stay open at this point. 
“Spencer, please.” He smacked the outside of my thigh.
“Try again, who’s fucking you?” 
“You are, Doctor.” Apparently, that was the wrong answer too, because it earned me another smack on my thigh. I had tears streaming down my face from the pleasurable pain he was giving me.
“You have one more chance or else I’m not letting you come. Now, who’s is fucking you?”
“Professor Reid!” I cried out.
“That’s right darling. Now come on my cock.” A harsh bite on my neck was the ultimate push that had me seeing stars. Spencer thrusted a few more times before fully sheathing himself within me.
He slumped over me, the feel of his breath against my neck causing me to shiver once more. We took a moment to have the high leave our body before he pulled out of me, a gasp leaving the both of us. Spencer was the first to break the silence between us.
“Would you like to have dinner with me?” he asked, his voice a bit shy. 
I giggled at his demeanor. A few moments ago, he was fucking me senseless and spanking me over his desk like a porno, and now he was asking me out to dinner. 
“Absolutely,” I smiled. “But I should probably cancel my study plans.” I quickly added. 
He led me to the faculty bathroom so I could freshen myself up. When I emerged, he was back to being the prim and proper professor I knew him to be. Just before we left his office, he leaned down and whispered, “By the way, you got an A.”
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