#now i gotta go back and it just feels so bad man
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charmed-asylum · 24 hours ago
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The award for god damn my mouth drop like a cartoon cat goes to SY but u know . I know he doesn’t beat around the bush. However, was I thinking he be like this . And shit I can say from experience and studies that a lot he doing goes right with it. I mean sad thing and it’s really not just one person to pin point who could of fix this besides Thor town folks and trailer trash mom ( now idk where she grew up but hey it’s not me but cliches) that could of help. It’s sad because for her case she probably isn’t a slut while Sy is crazy he just type that knows it but tries to be all wooo man I mean I’m not crazy I’m caring but if u ever mess with me then haha u be getting a dead cat in your mail box or a stalker for life but wooooooo I’m just caring and being a human . Shit pat on the back and you good is looking out a simple box of stuff is looking out non stop poof Sy there is not helping out it’s stalking but bc this town is so small folks won’t see it. Oh he lucky that town size of a city block.
“On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body” honey this statement so spot on huh one a check back in the day like your time period AU money u get paid can last a month or last time now it’s like a blink poof gone and your body lord I’m only in my 20s and the issues I’m having at my age blown minds.
Sy just always there and idk why but it’s big ( lord I’m drooling and have not finish this thought) well as a whole get always with the sneak attack shit I’m barley 5 foot and I still have issues . Bc I’m too short they turn around and still don’t see me I gotta jump be like Boo. Anyway still damn “. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you. “ also going back to my girl you got yourself a lifetime 20/20 level stalker. Hahaha way you keep doing Thor I can’t “ It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. “ I wonder still wonder because he hasn’t been front with her which I feel it coming feel it coming . ( still gonna be shock) but on the why he gave her a reason which I’m gonna point out in a second but can “ I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one." be one I mean it be least crazy one . And if not does he pray on pregnant women because of well a lot tumblr taught me a lot about kinks but because how easy the target she or how her emotions not there or pregnancy brain. “ You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you” also that he was so close to Thor which questioned his character like so he mad bc what Thor did or he use Thor for some reason. Because in small time I can’t see some friends falling out so easy bc hello who else u got .
This again makes me feel bad for her because while Sy seems nice and it your name was the fluff you don’t ask for I be all aww so cute and romantic but no nothing ever good and sweet it’s an huh my leg said in a sponge bob character voice. Like never so simple and sweet but damn how bad I felt reading this “ You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt.. Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment” and fact he open ( after 1st day seeing her) mention he read books about pregnancy. It makes her wall slowly start to crack. “ He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.”
HAAH I’m sure many mention this but lord can you imagine “ He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. “ But no the way that he watches her even down to her fingers. Or what way her EYES 👀 may go. He’s watching her as if I only watching tho his pray but as if he I don’t know still in war zone, looking through his sniper or goggles, watching his enemy. But still huh I hate it the perfect crazy stalker but idk even talking to her not at her or down to her .
AND HE SO HONESTLY BLUNT like okay he playing a game of 1s and 00s and we doing tic tac toe. Still like , “ "Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me….. His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to." that to me feels ( because not 1st time) he thinking on how to say it like before with the honest but down play it. In away which is why I feel there more.
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Called to Duty 4
Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Characters: Captain Syverson
Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.
Part of the Backwoods AU
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
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The bank is as ever anxiety inducing. On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body. Every day you wake up, you feel even more crummy than the last. 
Your hopes of a treat at the cafe are dashed. You give a longing look as you walk by and peer through the window. You can smell cinnamon and coffee. You're strict non-caffeinated, doctor's orders, but a decaf would be amazing with one of those cinnamon buns. Ugh, damn, why are you torturing yourself? 
You turn to continue down the street but barely dodge out of the way of another pedestrian. He makes sure you can't pass as he mirrors you, sidestepping to block your way. You sigh as you step back and look Sy in the face. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you. 
"Hey," he flips up his dark sunglasses, "how're you feeling?" 
You stare up at him defiantly, not quite bold enough to glare. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just persistent. It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. Or that your emotions are volatile, one moment teary eyed, the next blazing hot with rage. 
"Fine, thanks for asking," you shrug, "Sy, I gotta--" 
"I owe you a cookie," he points to the cafe window at his shoulder. 
You blink. You remember the cracked shortbread. You forgot about that. The mention of the sugary treat makes your stomach growl and your mouth water. 
"No, you don't--" 
"I do," he insists, "I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one." 
"I got it free," you say, "it's not a big deal." 
"It is to me," he counters, "I was heading in anyway." 
You stare at him. You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you. You look across the steeet to the pharmacy then back at him. The aromas wafting out with each swing of the door have you ravenous.  
"I can't stay long, I gotta work," you say. 
His cheeks twitch, as if he tamps back a smile before it can bloom, "after you." 
He gesture behind you to the door. You turn and lead the way. He reaches past you to open the door before you can and you enter ahead of him. The din within is lively and the air is warm from the crowd and the employees steaming out orders behind the counter. 
"Wanna find a seat?" He suggests, "you should rest." 
You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. You'd rather not stand in the clustered line. You nod and head off to claim the table by the window. There isn't much left. 
You pull out the chair and brace your back as you sit with a sigh. You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt, instead you turn your attention out the window. 
Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment. 
You sit and wait, wring the strap of your small purse. You watch the street. If it wasn't for the people, Hammer Ford would be serene. 
A plate clinks in front of you and a porcelain mug as well. It isn't a cookie and you can smell the herbal tea's rosy flavour. You peer up at Sy as he gives an apologetic look. 
"Cookies are still baking so I got you a cinnamon bun," he says. 
"And tea?" You add. 
"Can't have one without the other," he says, "no coffee for you." 
"Yeah, I... I know." 
You could laugh. He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.  
"Thank you," you smile as best you can. 
"Gotta get mine, be back," he excuses himself and marches back to the counter. 
You look down at the gooey iced draped spiral. You really shouldn't. Not only accept his misspent generosity but indulge in the excess sugar. Yet your hormones won't let you resist. You can at least wait until he's sitting down. 
He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. He sits and takes off his hat and sunglasses. 
You put your purse to the edge of the table and rest your hand on your stomach, doing your best to resist the animalistic need to tear apart the dessert. His eyes follow the movement and you quickly drop your arm. You don't even think when you do it, it's just a habit. 
"You-" he begins. 
"Wh--" you find your voice at the same time. 
You both stop, hesitant. He nods and gestures to you, lifting his cup as he watches you intently. That's new too. Thor never listened much, only talked a lot. Besides, you weren't exactly together for the conversation. 
"Sy," you clear your throat and sit forward as much as you can, "why are you following me around?" 
His brows form a vee, "I'm... it's not... I'm tryna help." 
"Okay, but why?" 
His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to." 
"You want to?" 
"Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me." 
You can't help your snort, "we hardly know each other." 
"Isn't for lack of trying," he taps his fingers on his mug. "Aren't ya gonna try the bun?" 
"I will," you assure him. He's trying to distract you and it's close to working. The cinnamon is driving you mad. "A baby is a lot of work and... I'm not your responsibility. I know Thor is your friend." 
"Was," he interjects.  
"Sure," you accept his decisive declaration, "but that doesn't mean you have to worry about his mistakes." 
"Mistakes? I don't think so," he says. 
"Well, it's not exactly planned," you scoff, "Sy, really I don't feel right about you doing so much." 
"Wouldn't feel right not doing it," he shrugs his burly shoulders. 
“But why?” You nearly exclaim. You just want to know why he cares so much, about you? 
He leans forward, elbows on the table, “they talk about me too, ya know? Since I got back from... serving. They say I’m f—crazy, or whatever. It wasn’t easy or nothin’ over there but I’m not nuts. Not like they say. Just like you’re not some slut, forgive me for saying it out loud.” 
You look down at the table and exhale. So he hears as much as anyone else about you. At least he’s honest. At least he isn’t joining them. You purse your lips and reach for the cinnamon bun, unable to restrain yourself any longer. 
“For what it’s worth,” you raise your eyes to meet his, “I never thought you were... unwell, or whatever they say.” 
His cheeks pinch, another suppressed smile, and he tilts his head, “I’m only happy to hear you think of me.” 
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hwaslayer · 3 days ago
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wildfire (cs) | 10.5
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—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 2k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, infidelity, flirting, kissing/making out, there is trouble everywhere quite frankly…. gonna dip once i post bcos i know this is bad but there’s def another future 0.5 chapter that might be worse
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⇢ POSTDOC | YR 2.5
"Babe." Iseul whines a bit, making San mimic her pout before tapping her nose.
"Love. How about I take you out this weekend to make up for it? We can go somewhere, just us two."
"Okay, but it'd be better if you could do that and come hang out tonight, too." 
"I'll try."
"San." 
"I'll try." He chuckles. "I should really finish up behavior tonight and that review for the paper we're working on. I'm already behind."
"Who said? You still have time."
"I have to get this done by next week." He gives her a sympathetic smile before placing a kiss on her forehead. 
"Next week."
"I'll try and get it done so I can hang out with you two, k?" He cups her cheeks. She can't help but continue to pout and cross her arms, even when he kisses her on the tip of her nose and on the lips. Part of her continues to have a soft spot for her man, the love of her life. 
Part of her wants to continue being supportive because she loves seeing San excel in his craft, she loves being by his side throughout all his achievements and vice versa. She feels like together, they can conquer the world together— be unstoppable, reach the top.
The other half, maybe more than half at this point, is sad. Empty. She longs for the man she fell in love with, she longs for his company. His time. His effort. 
His kisses, his cuddles. Everything.
Iseul never thought the lines would blur.
"Okay?" San repeats, causing Iseul to return her full attention on him. She gives him a small smile and nod, San's thumbs caressing her cheeks. "Better." He subtly bites his lip before caressing her chin. "C'mere." He leans forward to peck her lips again, and again.
And again.
Before they're both standing near her car, kissing under the late afternoon sun. Iseul tugs on San's shirt, deepening the kiss as she pulls him closer. He softly groans against her lips, Iseul's hand slowly traveling down to his belt. 
"Baby." He pulls back and chuckles. 
"We can be quick." She chases after his lips and presses small, repeated kisses against them before he's gently prying her off and shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, baby. I gotta go." She whines again before he's kissing her one last time on the lips and forehead. "You can have me all you want later tonight. And tomorrow. And the weekend."
"Ugh. I hope you know how much I'm sacrificing so you can hurry and finish." He laughs.
"I love you."
"Love you, too." She sighs, watching as San waves before doing a light jog back to the building. She slips into her car and connects a call to the bluetooth just as she pulls out of the parking spot.
"Yo!" Yunho answers the call almost immediately.
"Hey. What can I bring to your place for tonight?"
"Hm. Soju? I think I'm almost out." Yunho hums. "Chips and any other snacks."
"Okay, so everything? What do you even have at home?"
"Me, myself and I." Iseul laughs. 
"Uh. So much for inviting us over when you don't even have anything ready."
"I'll whip something up, don't worry! Why the doubting?"
"Alright, boss. Counting on you then."
"You know what else I need?"
"What, Yunho?" He chuckles.
"You." It’s meant to be a lighthearted joke; nothing more, nothing less. But, it does something to Iseul and Yunho knows it well enough by this point.
"You're so sappy. Quit it." She blushes to herself, biting her bottom lip even though she playfully scolds him.
"Nah. It's kinda fun seeing you all flustered."
"Hate you."
"Sad. I don't." She shakes her head and smiles. "Sliding through soon?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna freshen up and change at the house first after grabbing groceries."
"San is coming?"
"He said he'll try and wrap up quick so he can join."
"Ah, okay." Yunho sighs a bit. It's been awhile since he's been able to hang out with his bestfriend, but he understands how important his work is right now. He tries to be, at least. He knows how it all goes. 
He just wishes San would give himself more time to relax. Enjoy life a little bit, just like he used to.
"I'll see you in a bit then."
"Mhm. I'll text you when I'm on the way."
"How exciting."
"Shut up." She ends the call. Suddenly, those dark, sad feelings she felt earlier are gone. Suddenly, she's happy. She feels a bit giddy. Excited.
Iseul isn't really sure when the line started to blur. 
But somehow, they're here and Yunho isn't sure how they'll go back and undo whatever they've created between each other. He knows this shouldn’t even be a thing. He should feel like some sort of last resort, a rebound— like he's the cushion that keeps Iseul company solely because San isn't around. Yunho knows there shouldn't be much to it.
So, why is there more to it?
It must have been all the kick-its with friends, all the lunches and casual dinners. It must have been the exchanged texts with stupid [but silly] memes or tweets the other would appreciate. It must have been the calls just to check in with each other. It must have been the subtle, lingering looks. 
Accidentally brushing hands.
Teasing and poking fun at each other.
Flirty undertones.
Saying shit to make the other smile or laugh.
San would have just assumed they were being normal around each other. They had always been close anyway, but he says that because he doesn't catch the small acts in between. 
The very small, but clear and intentional acts.
For a minute, Iseul thought it was a phase because Yunho was there like he had always been. But then, the feelings and the thoughts stayed for longer than a phase; piled up over weeks and weeks.
Until she realized what it meant.
So, she tried to distract herself and force herself to understand that it was truly just a phase. When San was around, she'd affectionately hug him. Kiss him. Cuddle him. Pull him to bed and make him cum over and over again to feel satisfied, to feel like she was still wanted by her man.
His moans and the loud calls of her name the only thing granting that satisfaction. Even though, could she say the affection behind it was genuine?
Clear, intentional?
Who's to say?
Especially when she's happily skipping down the aisles in the grocery store, grabbing the soju that both she and Yunho like; the one that San doesn't really like as much but he'll deal and make do. Especially when she's throwing on a form-fitting zip-up and leggings, trying to come off as comfy, but alluring. Especially when she sprays her perfume and dabs on a bit of lip gloss for a lazy kick-it that’s staying behind doors and enclosed walls.
Especially when she walks through the door to greet Yunho with a big hug— one that has him swinging her around before they plop onto the living room floor and get started on the drunk, scary indie movie and short film marathon the three agreed to do as a way of de-stressing.
Especially when Iseul gets the dreaded but expected text from San, and she can't help but welcome back the same feelings of emptiness and disappointment from earlier.
san: running behind. i don't think i'll make it, love. i'm sorry. tell yunho i’m sorry, too.
san: i'll be home tonight - i'll make it up to you. this weekend, too. 😘 i'm all yours.
"He's not coming." Iseul says, taking another huge swig from their third soju bottle of the night, making Yunho nod silently.
"I'm sorry—"
"It's fine, don't be such a debbie downer." She laughs, playfully punching him on the bicep. Yunho catches her hand in his when she attempts to pinch him the second time around, making her pout in return. "Ouch!"
"Says you who was just about to punch me on the bicep, meanie." She giggles when he lets go of her hand. "I'll let it go. At least you're laughing and smiling."
"Yeah." She looks up at him. "You surely do make me laugh and smile."
"Good or bad way?"
"Good. How could that be a bad thing?"
"I don't know, you could just think I'm stupid." She snorts.
"Never."
"Well, good." Yunho smiles. "I like it when you laugh and smile."
"I like it when you make me laugh and smile, Yunho."
"Yeah?" He drunkly rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow on the surface of the table. "What else do you like, Iseul?"
"A lot of things."
"Mhm." He hums in a sing-song tone before leaning closer to tease her a bit. "What are a lot of things? Name a few."
"Yogurt soju, melon bread, being in bed after a long day and letting the sheets engulf me. Reading in a hot bath with candles lit up. To name a few." She leans forward to match him. "I don't think I can say anything else."
"Why not?"
"Because other things could be bad for me."
"In what way specifically?"
"Just cause." Her voice is barely above a whisper, lips only inches away from Yunho's.
"Just cause? How bad could it be?" She subtly shrugs before her eyes are dipping down to his lips, back up to his eyes. 
"Dunno. You tell me." She distractedly says. 
"What if.. maybe.. it isn't a necessarily a bad thing at all?" There's a thick silence in the air, but no one wants to address the tension, the elephant in the room. So, after a few minutes of said silence, Iseul leans forward and just kisses him— somehow thinking it could address the tension or whatever elephant is hiding in the room.
And at first, it shocks Yunho.
He freezes because he knows this shouldn't have happened. It fucking shouldn't have happened and he should’ve put a stop to it ASAP. Because Iseul was San's and vice versa, they made vows and devoted their lives to each other in front of him, and they were good together.
Yunho isn't really sure when the line started to blur. 
But then, he finds himself chasing after her lips to kiss her again, and again— until things can't be stopped and San's texts are going unanswered while Iseul's phone sits on the coffee table and vibrates away.
Her and Yunho are no longer sitting around watching the short film that's on. It eventually plays a random video next because no one is paying attention to what’s happening in the background. Empty soju bottles are spread across the surface of the table, along with open bags of chips and empty bowls. TV serving its purpose as background noise, almost fighting with the loud kisses and subtle moans leaving their lips while Iseul continues to make a place for herself on Yunho’s lap.
Meanwhile, San tucks his phone into his pocket, shrugging off the entire thing after he had sent her a few more follow up texts with all his ideas on how to make up for tonight. And tomorrow. And the weekend. He felt bad, but he was genuinely excited to do things with Iseul. To take her out on dates, travel near and far with her just to be alone. Rekindle the flame. Bring back that love, passion, that had been slowly dying because of his own fault. 
It wasn't entirely uncommon for Iseul to let texts go unanswered, but he was only worried because he knew that initial 'sorry can't make it' text upset her. She was probably trying to distract herself and lean on Yunho. Which, San can't help but think that Yunho does a way better job of being there for her than he actually does as her husband. It kinda aches him to think about it, and he's not sure how to navigate his own feelings when he keeps replaying that bar scene in his head.
For San, there’s no use in figuring this out because he knows they're good friends. They get along well, and he should be glad that they do. There isn’t anything to worry about despite his mixed feelings and confusing thoughts.
But for Iseul and Yunho, there’s no use in figuring out when this all happened, why this all happened— because everything has become perfectly clear and defined. 
The small acts gone unnoticed no longer small and unable to be hidden.
Clear, intentional.
Now, the lines are no longer blurred.
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—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme
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brotherwtf · 2 days ago
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How about Gale overhearing John talking about him to someone? (with positive outcome)
oooo now this is a very interesting prompt, thanks anon!!
decided to basically mash up all of my fave clegan scenes into one big rainbow scene, I hope you guys enjoy :))
----
John often ran his mouth, both sober and with a drink in him, but the stories always seemed to flow more with the flow of liquor into his system. Always bragging, always galavanting about someone or something to any ear that would listen, especially if it was about his favorite subject, Gale Cleven.
Exaggerating stories until the Major seemed more myth than man, talking to anyone who would listen about all of their escapades, good and bad.
And John would do it no matter if the man himself was there or not, and often did it despite Gale's best wishes.
But even now, as Gale sits on the edge of the dance floor, he can hear John's loud and unabashed laugh as he starts to weave another tale for the poor dames he has coerced. Gale noticed the slightly tense smiles of a woman who was originally only interested in getting beneath John's uniform now being blathered at by a Major far drunker than she expected.
"Nah but my buddy, Buck, here, he don't like sports. Not team sports anyway, likes boxing, 'test of manhood' or whatever the fuck that means," John says, eyes lazy as he points jovially back at Gale, recalling the night Curt lay an RAF pilot on the ground with a singular jab. Gale couldn't help but smile at the memory.
"Was gonna slug that RAF pilot himself the nasty fucker. Ah, he had it coming, don't you worry girls. Buck woulda knocked him straight on his British ass I just know it, there's nothing our Buck can't do, can probably take on the whole Luftwaffe by himself, all engines feathered. Hey, Buck!" John says, turning back towards Gale with loose limbs and gesturing for him to stand next to him.
Usually, Gale would be content to sit on the sidelines and watch John act a fool, but John was gesturing so heavily that it felt like he had a string attached to Gale's chest, pulling him over with just a beckon. Even when Gale puts himself right in the crook of John's body, right where he seemed to fit, John so easily puts his arm around Gale's shoulder.
"Tell em, No-Engine Cleven, nah I'll tell em, he's the best damn pilot in the 100th, hell, maybe even the whole air force, my Buck here is just too good, I wish I could fly half as good as him," John says, leaning his weight into Gale's, leaning so that his face is dangerously close to his.
Gale feels warmth bloom in his stomach but he just lets himself roll his eyes, wrapping a stabilizing arm around John's waist to prevent him from toppling over, giving the women a friendly yet tight smile.
"Easy there, Major, now I think it's best we turn in for the night. It was lovely meeting you ladies," Gale says, keeping his voice clipped and polite despite hearing the girls murmurs of how drunk John seemed to be.
The cool of the English night hits Gale's hot cheeks as soon as he drags John out of the officers club, hiding his tight smile into the night.
"Don't gotta go bragging on me, Bucky, I can hail my own victories," Gale says, breath misting in the air.
John smiles at him, swaying dangerously into Gale as they walk clumsily back to the barracks.
"It's all true, my love, someone's gotta say it and it might as well be me," John says, planting a wet smacking kiss to Gale's cheek.
Gale really should be more careful, but he seems to be getting drunk just on John's warmth and turns his head to press a careful kiss to John's lips, one that's far too slow for John's liking.
"It's my pleasure, Gale, you're my favorite thing to talk about," John says, a rogue hand coming up to squeeze Gale's cheeks and bring him in for another kiss, not being able to help the smile that spreads across both of their faces.
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toytoriyadorm · 3 days ago
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CHAPTER 5: Busy!
Yuukei pushed open the front doors of the gigantic dollhouse, no longer surprised by the messes this dorm likes to leave in its creative wake. Around them were tens of students, some bustling around with things like props to toolboxes and even the occasional outfit on a mannequin. Others, meanwhile, were either on the floor painting a set or at one of the bright pink tables sifting through a large stack of scripts.
A very busy day for Toytoriya, it seems.
With Grim peeking his head outside Yuukei’s school bag, the two walked up to a lively group of students. “Hi there, do you know where I need to go to see the dorm leader?” 
However, the group paid him no mind, ignoring him in favor of chattering about the recent changes made to the manuscript in front of them. 
“No, no, no. This still won’t work. Not against the star actor!”
“But it’s a solid plot!” A short student piped up, “A tragedy about a time traveler’s desperate attempt to fix what he’s lost! Simple enough to entice the audience but is still outside the box so as to not be cliche!”
“Uh, exc-” Yuukei tried chiming in.
“Do you think our dorm leader is looking for outside the box?? He voted for Neige during VDC even though all he did was sing a stupid kids’ song!”
“Hey, so-”
“N-not to put a pin in this debate, but…a reminder that if we’re changing the script we only have a day to implement the changes.” An elegant student with a dinosaur sticker muttered.
And with that comment, the crew in front of Yuukei went silent, breaking up in order to scramble with their– apparently– bad script. The Ramshackle student let out a sigh as his question went unanswered.
Unfortunately, the same thing would occur with the other Toytoriya members, all too engrossed in their dorm projects to give any attention to the newcomer in their midst. Any and all questions coming from Yuukei, Ace, and Deuce were met with “Sorry! Can’t talk now!” and “I don’t know, excuse me!”. As friendly as the prefect could be, he could feel his patience beginning to run low.
“Nyeh, Deuce, maybe you were onto something back at the entrance.” Grim glowered at the hectic scene from the bookbag. “It must have been a mistake for any of us to come at all…” 
“Don’t say that,” Yuukei glanced at his familiar, “It's just a busy time! There’s gotta be someone who can help us…”
Then, out of nowhere, Deuce and Yuukei felt a cold hand touch their shoulders. Whipping their heads around, the two jumped as they met the equally cold eyes of a red-haired student, who was smiling cheerfully. 
“H-hello!” Deuce said aloud, “Could you help us? We’re looking for someone.”
The girl nodded profusely, the extra limbs behind her sewing up a dress as she signaled to Deuce. 
“Oh thank god,” Yuukei sighed. “Now we can get back on track! Ace, let's hurry and- Hey, where’s Ace?”
The blonde student paused as he looked around, unable to spot his ginger-haired classmate amongst the commotion. Suddenly, the sound of metal crashing onto the floor and a few good swears turn the trio towards the front of the foyer, where both the lost Heartslabyul student and a drying banner are covered in fresh paint.
CHAPTER 6: Fight, Fight, Fight!
“No, no!” A Toytoriya student ran over to the now-ruined banner. “My assignment! My poor assignment!!” He pointed a finger at Ace. “You–!”
“Hey, I’m sorry!” Ace apologized as he looked at his now-colorful pants. “I didn’t see the paint, I’ll get out of your hair now!”
“No!” The student screamed, “You need to compensate me right now and fix this!”
“Compensate?!” Ace yelled back, “It's just paint, m-”
Before the “man” could slip out of the red-head’s mouth, he was met with a hard slap to the face by the student.
Deuce’s jaw dropped as the room went quiet. 
“Ah, this is starting to feel familiar.” Yuukei thought, as he watched Ace throw his fist right into the guy’s stomach.
“Henchman!” Grim yelled from the bag, “Looks like he got reinforcements, we gotta help Ace out!” 
As the two groups began duking it out, a crowd of pastel pink began to form around the area, entranced and horrified by the brawl in front of them. 
But once the accusing student pulled out his wand on Ace, intervention finally appeared. The student couldn’t even mutter a word as a glass box trapped the Toytoriya students in place.
“I leave for two minutes, and you guys begin fighting like infants?” A deep voice comes from the staircase leading upstairs. Yuukei looks up to see a disgruntled, older-looking guy with marks of what appeared to be black paint on his cheeks.If not for his uniform, he would have thought the man was a teacher rather than a student.
“Who started it?” He questioned, his tired eyes looking around the room with a threatening glare. The room immediately pointed to the newcomers, leaving Deuce and Yuukei to sputter out a futile explanation. But before the tall student could grab and throw them out, a voice broke through the silence.
“Ahh wait, wait!” The crowd broke apart, revealing a blonde student in what looked to be harlequin makeup. He appeared rather relaxed for someone who had witnessed a brawl. “Don’t go kicking people out just yet, Pat!”
“That’s a lot coming out of the student who was supposed to be managing in my place, Saturn.” The white haired student, Pat, replied, ignoring the trapped students banging on the magic glass.
“But I was managing! And keeping an eye out too…” Saturn trailed off, scratching the back of his shaggy, blonde hair. “Anyways, that Heartslabyul guy knocked some paint over, sure, but the kid in there threw the first slap.” He pointed to the group trapped in the glass box.
“Oh, really?” Pat turned his head to the now-terrified dorm students, who had all backed into the corner of the trap. With the wave of his wand, the contraption disappeared. “All of you, upstairs, everyone else, back to work! I know we’re all in a crunch, but the Festival is tomorrow, and your dorm leader would be disappointed to hear he can’t see everyone’s work because you all chose to watch a fight instead!”
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brightsuzaku · 1 year ago
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i am attempting to switch to firefox in earnest from the chromium-based vivaldi and i am just
having a time of it
Vivaldi is EXTREMELY customizable with the ability to customize appearance, colors, the roundedness of tab edges, interface zoom, etc, etc, as well as natively having the ability to group tabs together
ON ONE HAND, Vivaldi is chromium and may eventually get screwed over by Google's bullshit, but on the other hand... I switched from Firefox to Vivaldi because of all of its features for fine-tuning my browsing experience and UI, and also because Firefox was getting kinda bloaty on my previous desktop build.
on the other hand, maybe with the power of extensions I can get back to some kind of similar functionality, I'm just going to miss having Nice Things out of the box without needing extensions.
I swapped out from Firefox for accessibility and customizability purposes, and now it keeps sounding like the Big G won't let me have Nice Things. I'll keep Vivaldi around just in case they do something with the browser to help combat that, but I'm loading my open tabs and versions of my extensions on Vivaldi over to Firefox as a safety net.
(I really don't want to switch from Vivaldi and I just feel so extremely gloomy when another one of those scary reblogs about Chrome come back up, because it's not Chrome per se, but Big G could just make everything worse.)
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turtleblogatlast · 9 months ago
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Thinking about the Don Suave scene and what it means in terms of LGBTQ+ representation because my brain does nothing if not torment me with random topics to ramble about on the regular.
Anyway, I just wanted to ramble about why I like the scene but to get it out of the way - the scene can very easily be interpreted in so many different ways, and all of them are valid. I personally see it as Leo having at least some attraction to a man. And the following is an explanation of my own interpretation and thoughts on it and what it means especially for Leo’s portrayal in the grand scheme of things.
Long-winded interpretation under the cut!
Now, to start with, it’s important to me that in the scene Leo looks at Don Suave in the very beginning and then for the entirety of the rest of the time the man is on screen, Leo’s eyes are closed. Yet, in the end, he is still visibly enamored with Don Suave, happily cuddling up to him as he’s being carried away.
You can very easily interpret this as Leo being spellbound and that’s honestly super valid and I believe he likely was at least somewhat in the beginning, but considering how fast he looked away and how he never looked again, I personally think it makes more sense to read it as Leo just finding the man attractive, at least somewhat. (For the record, I personally headcanon Rise Leo as bisexual with a heavy preference for men, but I want to be blunt when I say that any interpretation is valid. Literally any. Ace, pan, gay, bi, none of the above or a mixture of something new literally all of it is more than okay and fair. Hell you could even interpret this entire scene as more romantic attraction than physical and it would still work. Anything goes!! Don’t bother people, guys, really.)
The main reason I take this scene to be at the very least LGBTQ+ adjacent isn’t just because of how it’s portrayed, but because of who Leonardo is. Not in terms of Rise of the TMNT, but in terms of the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™️ franchise.
Leo’s a character who, while changing with each iteration, has still at his core been around for decades upon decades as “the blue one”. One fourth of the team. He’s the one most are going to look at as the Leader, and oftentimes he is the one closest to having the title of Main Character. Not to say the others aren’t just as important, but Leo’s presence in the A plots of basically all TMNT media is often something very main character-esque.
And that’s very, very important to note. Here we have a Main Character of a prolific and decades long-running franchise distributed by a children’s television network. You can play around with his and his brothers’ characters all you like, but there is always going to be challenges to dodge around, especially since this was still in 2018-2019.
For example, you can play around with their designs so long as they’re color coded turtles, but their sexualities? Now that’s tricky.
“But what about Hypno and Warren?” Not main characters and also they’re Rise originals. They have a lot more room to play around with than a character like Leo does. But even talking about main characters in the franchise, you could arguably have an easier time playing around with Donnie or Mikey’s sexualities than Leo or even Raph, as (unfortunately) the former two tend to get more B plots, so they’d likely have had a little more leeway (still not a lot though.)
So, where does this leave us?
It leaves us in a place where outright stating and/or showing undeniable proof of Leo’s attraction to men is very, very difficult. So, workarounds!
Workarounds like the entire Don Suave situation.
To be honest, as left up to interpretation and lowkey and deniable as it is, this whole scene means a lot to me because of who Leo is as a character. It’s just nice when we get so see even the bare bones of representation with characters that have been such a large part of pop culture for decades, y’know? Even if more would be so much nicer, this is better than I thought we’d ever get for these boys.
And, again, literally nothing I’ve said is the only way to interpret it, I’m more than happy when people interpret media on their own honestly, it’s just something I’ve been thinking of lately and I was wondering if others felt the same way.
Whatever you think when you interpret this scene or Rise Leo as a whole, I just thought this would be interesting to think about, even if it was ramble-y, haha.
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fleouriarts · 1 year ago
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feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole
#hivemind tv#hmfcu#riley savage#graydon weaver#quadeca#jane remover#eden burke#my art#2023#fanart#doodles#furry#its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online#doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself#and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling#and come back and then the cycle repeats#its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard#so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)'#NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here#and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out#and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave#i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style#idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment#i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one”#or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it”#sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse#whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m#friends for a while i think#woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography
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simplydnp · 1 year ago
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Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them
sometimes i watch that video just to feel something
#you are so valid for that anon#theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me#theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them#but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other#AFTER 13 years of knowing each other#just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time.#which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow!#the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video!#its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating#each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously.#& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!!#then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern#the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay#the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle#and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it.#and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that.#(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea)#the bathroom being very clearly a shared space.#goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant#dnp#c.text#dan and phil
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orcelito · 11 days ago
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This just in, local struggler severely overestimates how much they can eat yet again. Left with half a bowl of ramen and a sad, sad heart
#speculation nation#it's homemade at least so im not wasting money on fancy ramen#but i Hate this man it sucks 😭😭😭😭#i keep losing weight bc i can never eat enough#and i was like 'ok lets make a ramen thats a good sized meal' but then i cant FINISH it#forced myself to finish all the eggs at least and now im just picking at the peas. ugh.#at this rate im gonna have to start drinking ensures more regularly again#bc i havent gotten to the underweight phase yet but if it keeps going like this then i will#like it was. excuse me talking about my weight for a bit but im a tad bit concerned about it#but back before i started adderall back in uhh. september?? i think?? or october???#fuck if i remember. been a few months tho. but also not That long.#anyways i was at like. 140lbs at the doctor and like 137lbs at home (relevant bc clothes weight. rest of this will be at home weights)#and ive had such shit appetite that ive been watching it go down and down. like at least a pound a week. sometimes two pounds.#and now im at 123lbs. which is a solid almost 15 lbs lost in like 3 ish months. which is kind of a lot when ur small to begin with.#also a little alarming when u see this happen like a pound lower between every shower. bc i tend to check before i shower.#& i often shower every 4 days or so. when im in the Rotting Era and all. aka i dont rly go outside much.#and like 123lbs still isnt bad for 5'3“ but i think 107lbs is the cutoff for underweight. and im halfway there.#and now see i was about this weight a few years back so in one respect it's nice to fit into some of my older pants again#but at the same time..thats too quick!!! thats not healthy!!!! but when i try to eat more i Cant!!! it makes me nauseous!!!!!#so back in early 2020 when i was dipping under 110lbs bc of meds stuff i got onto ensure and it did help. so maybe i need to again.#just..blegh. i just kinda feel empty all the time. like stomach-wise. but not Hungry. it's a problem.#gotta come up with ways to eat that dont rely on my stomach to tell me when to eat. bc it's definitely not doing a good job at that.#weight mention/#and like see ive been eating 2 meals a day on average but i was doing that before too!!!!!!#but i think it's bc i cant Finish my meals half the time that's really causing problems.#staring at my half eaten bowl of ramen very grumpily. it has now been long enough that it's kind of gross.#and my arms hurt. just bc my bone aches have decided to flare up again. very grumpy.#negative/#i guess lol
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mymp3 · 4 months ago
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I had a lot of the same issues with reload as I see you’re having, and I do think most of it is from the new team’s inexperience. They’re trying to recreate a game that made very purposeful decisions in its mechanics and cutscenes without understanding why those decisions were made, which really undermines the experience.
If the team had more experience under their belt, or had full creative decision on an entirely new game, I feel like they could make a really good game! Reload is not that though.
I completely agree anon. It's a shame too, because it's not an awful game, just a different one. I wish they hadn't tried to recreate FES as a test project on a shoestring budget when it was literally the benchmark for our modern Persona games. It changed so much, it's iconic, a cult classic.
I really wish they wouldn't have lied about not planning EpiAi beforehand so they could cover the fact that the game doesn't look all too good. I wish they hadn't charged $200 for an "Aigis Edition" and not include the dlc. I wish they hadn't sanitized and scrubbed the game about death and grieving of all things that were slightly upsetting. That's what ended up happening though, and as you said, they're trying to recreate a game that was very purposeful in its creation.
Reload was a cheap quick test that they knew would work because it has a wonderful story and dedicated fans. As long as they make it a fun popcorn game, they don't have to put in those purposeful additions or think about it much at all.
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orangespottedgiraffe · 8 months ago
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So
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phagodyke · 1 year ago
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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eyes-and-pies · 2 months ago
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everything going wrong again
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cat-dragron · 3 months ago
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Going from Ancillary Sword into August Kitko and the Mechs from Space is such like... whiplash to my brain. Ancillary Sword was challenging to read in a way I wasn't expecting but man was it rich as hell, the depth of the worlds and characters in that book are insane. Meanwhile reading AKatMfS is like... the premise is so cool and seems right up my alley but something about the writing is just not gelling with me for whatever reason. I want to get through this book so badly because I am interested but like... part of me is just wondering is this it?? Is this all there is to it?
#cat rambles#spoiler talk in the tags now because I'm just thinking about this too much#like... I think around the same points in either book is when the big bad is revealed or like... shows up more prominently I think#and in AJ it's like FUCK that's Anaander Mianaai and holy SHIT she's such a huge threat but she's really only a threat to the main characte#she doesn't become a bigger civil war threat until a lil later and thats like god damn okay now people are really dying because of that#then in AKatMfS the threat is humanity ending like it wants the humans to go extinct and like SHIT that's pretty intense and it wants#humanity's knowledge and memories and shit which thats cool!! I enjoy that!!#Why the fuck does that not feel like as intense of a threat in my mind as like... the Lord of the Radchs????#it's weird... it's so weird because I WANT to enjoy this book I really do#it reminds me of pacific rim in all the good ways but also it just like doesn't go over the details I'm really interested in#and maybe it's just that I'm not as into Gus and Ardent as main characters as I am Breq but then again how the fuck do you top Breq#i also don't think it helps that the creator of the mechs/what is killing humanity was revealed so fast in AKatMfS#Like I started reading that chapter and.... I felt udnerwhelmed???#the twist was kinda neat like we've known about this AI since the beginning parts of the book#but idk.... it's like.... okay... AI knows it's going to be archived once it's no longer useful bc it was built on the corpse of its#predacessor and THATS INTERESTING!!! I LIKE THAT!!! so why then does it feel like such an old cliche#maybe I just gotta read more but I just feel... underwhelmed I guess for lack of a better term#fucking mitchells vs the machines did this shit and that had so much heart in it#back to the pacific rim comparison#this book is also about climate change and war and how bad humanity is and like???? fuck man.... idk do you have anything else to say#besides humans do bad shit and are unredeemable???#I'm sure it does I'm like so sure it does but god#anyways at least I get to read another Andrew Joseph White book after this :]#sunk cost fallacy has my ass unfortunatley#wow this got to be long
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medicinemane · 4 months ago
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I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity
Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all
And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me
It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been
But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel
...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this
One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help
Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out
I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all
...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut
Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?
I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already
...everyone means well, it's just tiring
#it's like when people make you being suicidally depressed about them#I... don't really want to say some more specific details cause they might be able to pick themselves out of a line up#but it's just like... man... is this more about trying to get me in a better place; or about making you feel better#wears me out#mm tag so i can find things later#just seems impossible for people to not offer advice on things#the thing people never think of with advice; is that people living a situation often have thought about that situation a whole lot#it's like why... with my friend that's looking for theatre jobs; I don't offer a lot of advice because I figure they've done quite a bit#just kinda... offer to help the best I can and ask what they need; and then mostly just listen#it's not like I never ever say anything; it's just I try to back up advice with something concrete#like... for instance if I wanted to suggest someone do therapy; then I'm gonna be offering to help them find a therapist as best I can#cause I get that it's not like you just 'go to therapy'... getting started on things is often the hardest part#eh... keeping this as vague as possible cause I want the actions I took not the details#but when I had a friend who was someone who didn't treat them at all well#I didn't directly try to get them to leave cause I know that... it's hard; they were in deep#instead I just made sure to validate their perception of reality a whole lot#counter the literal gaslighting by just pointing out that they made sense and questioning how reasonable their partner was#and then I attempted to get them in touch with some other people so they were less isolated and had other people to validate them#and thankfully they're not with that person anymore; they're doing a great job at life and are much healthier now#...but advice... honestly I don't think I gave them much#I more asked leading questions to try and shine a light on things; or would brainstorm about what to do with various stuff#they were real stuck; and it was painful to see them stuck in such a bad situation; but... better to sit with them than push push push#it felt like if I gave them my actual advice; dump that abusive freak; they couldn't have heard me#it was easy for me to tell them the solution; but that didn't account for all the barriers to implementing that solution#in this case; many of the barriers were internal; but internal or external; barriers are barriers#I don't know... I just think sometimes you gotta be comfortable sitting with discomfort along side someone#unless you got an actual fix; and you're willing to put in the work to fix it... shut up about fixing and just be there for them#mhh... we'll take one of the only things I'm actually capable of doing instead of something more serious#if someone wants a minecraft server; I can either fucking help them set it up; or I can kinda keep my mouth shut#if I'm not helping them set it up; I can give them shit like 'that sounds cool; I bet you could do it'
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insanechayne · 5 months ago
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~ ~ ~
#all I wanna do is talk to my bestie but his wife has been going through his phone when he’s asleep and targeting me for messaging him too#much for some reason so now I’m concerned that she’ll read anything I send and I feel like I have to police everything#and I want to just call him but that’s even more noticeable and I don’t want to cause tension for him or have her dislike me even more#or God forbid answer the phone on his behalf because tbh I don’t think I could hold my tongue at that point#never even met the woman yet she has some kind of issue with me all of a sudden as if he and I haven’t been besties for a year now#we talk all the time and I’m always sending him memes and other nonsense and it’s never been a problem but now she’s sneaking around behind#his back to go through his phone and even texted me a reply to a message I’d sent him which is just creepy and weird#it’s like she’s trying to scare me off but I’m not even close to a threat cause like I’m literally gay I don’t want mans at all#and bestie said he’d talk to her about all this but everything is still up in the air and I can’t do anything to solve the problem or fix#things and it’s driving me fucking insane and literally giving me anxiety so bad that it’s making me physically sick and idk what the fuck#to do about any of it at this point#like I told him if she wants to just meet me I’d love to be able to talk to her and sort this out before it becomes a worse issue but#it would appear that that’s not going to happen or at least not right now and it sucks#so I’m trying desperately to let it go and hold off on texting or calling him and just pretend like everything is fine but it’s fucking#eating me alive and all I want is to call him and talk to him about this and then have things go back to normal but I fucking can’t and I’m#sick over it legitimately#why can’t I just have normal friendships? something always gotta go bad and turn into drama and I’m getting damn sick of it#personal
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