#now i gotta figure out how to stream it lmao

[pacific-coast-hockey]

Zero percent chance I make it out with my sanity intact sorry guys

[kellystar321]

.

[orcelito]

OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section

after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol

[todayisafridaynight]

maybe if i play y7 ill be normal <- played y7 four times this weekend, a decidedly not normal thing

[sethsclearwater]

requests: “could you do an imagine w embry (or any of the wolf pack boys) where their imprint doesn’t know abt the werewolf/vampire stuff and sees one of the pack members phase for the first time and freaks out a little bit? <3” and “can u pls do an imagine where embry and jacob get into a fight and they phase in front of reader and she totally freaks out and she’s paul’s imprint and he has to calm her down?”

warnings: paul getting on his knees for reader

notes: reader goes through all 5 stages of grief and then some lmao

word count: 1.8k

… 

you found yourself at emily’s house, sitting outside on her porch with your boyfriend’s friends, waiting for emily and the rest of the girlfriends to get back from their trip to the grocery store. you had been dating paul for almost a year now and had been friends with his friend group for most of that time. 

you were sitting on paul’s lap in one of the rocking chairs, curled in his lap as you listened to embry crack jokes about how he was making a fool of himself pining after bella. “jake man,” embry laughed, “you seriously gotta get it together. there’s no way they’re letting you stay in their tent - edward would be a clown if he let that fly.�� he laughed again, referencing the camping trip the boys and the cullen family would soon be taking. 

you giggled, attempting to hide your laughter in paul’s shirt. jacob rolled his eyes, getting up and walking off the porch and into the yard, “you don’t understand!” he yelled over his shoulder to embry who was still cracking himself up along with jared and quil, “she’s meant to be with me - i’m obviously the better choice than a leech!” he yelled and you missed the warning look sam shot him as you were too focused on how he looked like he was literally shaking he was so angry. 

“she’s definitely not you clown!” embry called back, still getting a kick out of it. you sensed that something was wrong so you got off of paul’s lap, heading down the porch steps to follow him, paul calling after you when he realized what you were doing. 

“jake-” you sighed, ignoring paul’s calls to you, only looking over your shoulder when you heard footsteps running down the porch followed by a loud growl. you looked back over to jake as he quite literally shifted into a giant wolf, almost exactly as the quileute legends had depicted at the council meetings. “paul,” you whispered anxiously, turning around and sprinting back towards the porch where paul was waiting looking just as shocked as you.

“paul!” you screamed again, running into his arms and he quickly wrapped his arms around you, holding your head to his chest as sobs racked through your body, neither of you sure how to respond to what you just witnessed.

“shhhhh…” he murmured, pressing his lips to the crown of your head, “you’re okay, you’re okay.” he cooed, slowly rocking you back and forth as you tried to catch your breath and figure out what was going on. 

“what even was that- why did he-” you blubbered, looking up at paul as you let out another sob, fists tightening on his t-shirt as you held onto him tightly.

paul watched you sadly, continuing to hold you tightly to his chest as he tried to figure out what to say. he had zero plans of telling you about the wolves anytime soon, figuring the less you knew the better but now that all went to shit thanks to jacob. 

“i didn’t want to tell you,” paul sighed, watching your facial expressions in an attempt to get a better reading of you but was left with nothing as you continued sobbing, tears rapidly streaming down your cheeks. 

“you weren’t gonna tell me that your friend turns into a giant wolf?” you exclaimed, not sure whether you should be mad at him or grateful. he clearly didn’t want to tell you because of the absolutely horrific reaction he correctly anticipated you’d be having. 

paul sighed again, “i didn’t want to stress you out about it,” he explained softly, “between your classes and work and everything i didn’t think there was a good time to tell you.” 

you whimpered, not sure how to respond so you just buried your face in the crook of his arm, hugging him just as tightly as he was holding you. you thought about it then, how his friend group was all so close, all of them were always at the council meetings suspiciously after they had their “glow ups” as you called it (or steroids as the rest of la push called it). the more you thought of it, the more things started clicking into place and you turned your head to look over at jacob, who was still a massive wolf, and the rest of paul’s friend group were surrounding him and trying to calm him down. 

you froze then, slowly releasing your grip on paul’s shirt as you squirmed out of his grip, cautiously stepping back from him. paul watched you wearily, and by the look on his face, he knew you figured it out. 

“y/n,” your name fell off his lips, both of you anxiously waiting for the other to say something, “i’m sorry.” he said softly, stepping closer to you but you stepped back, your back now pressed up against emily’s porch. 

“don’t touch me-” you whimpered, anxiously looking around as you tried to figure out what your options were. you quickly realized there was no way you were going to outrun an entire pack of massive wolves with anger management problems.

in your anxiety you missed the heartbroken look paul had on his face, equally unsure of how to calm you down without intimidating you. “i’m not gonna hurt you princess,” paul attempted to reassure you, frowning as you looked back to him, looking up with tears still rapidly streaming down your face. 

seeing you weren’t calming down and, if anything, were working yourself up more, he raised his hands so you could see his palms, slowly lowering himself to the ground until he was on his knees in front of you. you watched the notoriously proud man cautiously, slowly taking in a deep breath with him as you tried to recenter yourself so you could catch your breath.

your bottom lip warbled as you tried to calm yourself down, “paul-” you sobbed his name after a moment, quickly dropping down so you could sit on his lap, wrapping yourself around him when you realized he was being genuine when he said he wasn’t going to hurt you. paul let out an audible exhale, quickly wrapping his arms around you and held you tightly to his chest. 

“shhh…” he cooed, “take some deep breaths princess.” he murmured into your hair, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on your side and shoulder as he held you close to him.

you nodded, sniffling as you worked at calming yourself through deep breaths like he suggested, “there you go,” he whispered as he felt your breathing start to even out after a minute, “good job kitten.” he murmured, pressing another soft kiss to the crown of your head.

after a few minutes you looked up at him, sliding your hands up his chest as you tried to figure out what to say, paul sensed your hesitence and slid one hand up your back and gently cupped your face in his hand, “are you okay?” he asked softly, watching as you slowly nodded, looking over to the rest of the boys who seemed to have calmed jacob down and were making their way back over to the two of you. 

“none of them are gonna hurt you, i promise.” he reassured, sensing the jump in your heart rate when you saw the boys walking back over.

you slowly nodded again, looking back over to paul, “so you…” you trailed off, not sure how to ask your boyfriend if he turned into a massive werewolf. 

“turn into a wolf? yea.” paul finished for you, thumb brushing the stray tears off your cheeks. “it was right after we started going out - i didn’t know how to tell you without scaring you.” he continued, offering you a sad smile when you nodded, wrapping your arms back around his neck and hugging him tightly to you.

you lifted your head when you heard the familiar sound of sam’s truck pulling into the driveway, emily and you made eye contact and she quickly jumped out of the truck, running over to you and paul. “oh honey,” she cooed, kneeling down in the dirt with you and paul. you leaned off paul for a moment to hug her which she quickly reciprocated. “he told you?” she asked softly, hugging you tighter when you nodded against her shoulder.

“finally!” kim and rachel’s voices came from behind you. you let out a weak laugh, letting go of emily and shifting in paul’s lap to straighten yourself out as you brushed away your stray tears with the back of your hand.

“what happened?” leah’s voice came from beside you as she kneeled next to her cousin, also watching you wearily. 

“embry,” sam emphasized before continuing, “called jacob a clown and he shifted in front of her.” he explained as the rest of the boys came over, everyone sitting down by you and paul. 

“sorry,” embry mumbled sheepishly, both of you letting out soft laughs at how stupid jacob’s anger was, “i didn’t think he was crazy like that!” embry added, causing a few laughs to erupt from everyone else. 

paul gently ran his hand up your back, offering you a soft smile, “you feeling better?” he asked softly and you nodded, taking another deep breath with him. 

“billy is gonna lose his mind when he hears what went down-” quil laughed, “the council meeting tonight is gonna be so much fun!” he exclaimed, the rest of the pack laughing in agreement. 

you sniffled as you let out another giggle, “why don’t you two go back to your apartment and get ready and then we’ll meet you there?” emily suggested thoughtfully, giving your hip a soft squeeze.

paul nodded, “you okay with that?” he asked you softly, the corner of his lip pulling into a smile when you nodded, “okay let’s do that then.” he cooed, getting up with you in his arms. 

you peeked over your shoulder, waving goodbye to the boys, embry, quil, and jared blowing you kisses causing you to giggle as paul led you over to his car. 

by the time the council meeting came around that night you were able to calm yourself down, take a shower, and get changed into something comfortable so you could hear the legends with a new, more accurate perspective.

[pissedpupp]

heyhey i’m another disabled wheelchair user into omo and holding and all that, but i often find that my disabilities get in the way of letting me enjoy it or do it (ie: cant drink enough to get desperate, or my bladder will lock up and not let me pee when it’s time) how do you,, , like navigate stuff like that? i really wanna enjoy this kink but my body cockblocks me😭

wooo boy okay so theres a few things!

part of it for me is like, reframing. bc im not gonna be able to enact most kinks in the ways that able bodied people do so instead of hating that *i* cant do the kink, i rework the kink to fit me. like, i get REAL nauseaus REALLY easily, specifically i get ut really bad from water 🙃 so i will take it slow, or take some zofran or jist drink something else entirely.

another example is im on a medication that helps my kidneys retain water, but that means i dont really get super filled up from the amounts of water it might for an able bodied person. and on top of it all before this developed as a kink i was in pevlic floor physical therapy for urgency and pissing my pants, which kinda gave me some advantages in pissing myself on purpose

like i was told that after toddlerhood, you are ALWAYS choosing to pee. unless you have a disorder or syndrome that specifically affects your urinary tract, you are always choosing to pee. most people are just conditioned on when its acceptable to pee. so like, for example. someone who has REALLY bad urgency right before they get to the toilet has subconsciously ttained themselves to start to pee before they sit down, like a self fulfilling prophecy. if you go "oh god im not gonna make it" youre basically dooming youself. and if you do that often, youve now conditioned yourself, to the point that seeing a toilet right in front of you will give your body subconscious cues ro start to go. so someone who is trying to curb the issue i just mentioned would just wait a few seconds, or a few minutes, before sitting and peeing. (and do control exercises like kegals) until its deconditioned.

so all that being said! something im working on now is that i previously had like, 5-10 minutes after sex where i physically COULD NOT pee. and i will lose urgency while getting stimulated, so like. kinda awful for omo and related things. so ive been doing like, extremely intense (for me) and very long (many hours) holds and then sort of conditioning myself, im into edging, so ill get to the point of bursting, let out a controlled leak and then edge. or edge and then push on my bladder to be forced to leak. over and over, until either im so lost in arousal that ill be able to force myself to piss while i orgasm, or im out of pee and can now orgasm anyway. (for right now, this all happens while im sat on the toilet. less mess, and it gives my subconscious the cue to pee)

and ive made some progress! i had a few open hours and followed omo dungeon and then forved out a few big leaks while masturbating and then pissed for a VERY long time. im not anywhere near done, so if i do end up being able to pee during a sexual act its the smalled of streams. i swear i peed for a solid 90 seconds straight last night

ANYWAYS. you have to accommodate yourself. figure out what really works for you. personally soda doesnt make me have to pee but sweet tea REALLY does. i probably cant make a huge habit out of pissing myself uncontrollably because i spent a lot of time unlearning it, and while the idea of accidentally pissing myself without meaning sounds hot, as someone who has pissed themselves in public its just. real embarrassing. not in a cute way. and now that its a kink? you gotta have everyone who witnessing it give enthusiastic consent. and having genuine bladder issues really fucking sucks for like, being an adult lmao.

and so, if i decide to make this kink a regular thing in doing its gonna be a lot of pretending to wet myself, like getting to bursting but not actually truly losing control. a lot of practicing kink is actually just improv and acting im sorry to say 😬

if you wanna talk more ab it feel free to ask more questions! or dm me! im an open book! and your situation is most likely different from mine mechanically. but i can probably help you try to navigate it, might be better to have more specifics before i can give more pointed advice anyways.

as always! consent is key, dont do things that can alter your life outside the scene, and be kind to yourself if you cant fullfil the kink exactly how you want.

[angel-eyes05]

bite the hand (chapter 8)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara 

summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?

info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here

warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, i made up some weird rules for miguel's suit and idk if theyre entirely accurate to canon so just go with it, tension lol, cursing, drinking

word count: 3.4k

notes: i gotta start repeating the banners at the top cause i ran out LMAO. also, expect less frequent uploads cause 1) i kinda have low motivation rn and 2) im pretty busy rn (going out, vacations, and doing job applications). writing also gets a little draining for me after a while and i gotta put me first😔✊ ill keep uploading though dw i just gotta do it at my own speed to make sure i dont drop the series cause if i try to push stuff out too fast, im gonna end up dropping it so just bear with me lol. also i didn't proofread this before posting cause its 3:30 when im dropping this, and im so tired lmao

-----------------

It was the sun that slithered into the room through the cracks in the blinds that woke her up. Lorena preferred that to the normal wakeup call from a nightmare, or the sounds of honking cars next to her on the street. The way the bed had molded itself to her shape made it impossible for her to move. Almost like it was trapping her in its comfort. Even if the mattress was old, the fact that this had been her first time sleeping in an actual bed, and not a bench, sidewalk, or cot, in months was enough to provide her ease. 

She turned to face the other side of the bed, surprised when no one was in sight. Miguel was probably in the bathroom or something. She was more focused on a different fact: this had been the first sleep in weeks without a nightmare.

Huh. Weird.

She sat up in bed, noticing she was still in her robe from the bathroom. She rubbed the drowsiness off her face as the click of the door lock called her attention. Letting in a stream of early sunlight with him, Miguel walked through the door, pitch black sunglasses covering his eyes, a box in one hand, and a cup tray in the other. “Figured you’d be hungry when you woke up,” he said once he noticed she was awake. He softly kicked the door closed behind him, setting the tray on the desk near the door and the box on the bed. 

Pulled by curiosity, she moved her hands towards the box and opened it to see what was inside. Her mouth immediately started watering when she opened it to see assorted treats such as conchas, bigotes, and mantecadas. “I was in the mood,” Miguel said, pulling the drinks out of the tray. “I didn’t know how much cream or sugar you liked so I just got you black cause that's what I get,” he said, handing the hot cup of coffee to her. 

The smell of the pastries mixed with the coffee was enough to make her want to cry. It reminded of the smells of her aunt’s kitchen in the morning. The bitterness of the coffee stung at her throat, but it was overshadowed by the comfort it brought her. She picked up one of the bigotes, and had to hold back her tears of joy when she took a bite. “Gracias por todo,” she said, mouth full of food and covered in sugar. Miguel smiled at the sight of her. “De nada, cariño,” he said sweetly, taking one of the conchas for himself. 

As he walked away with his food, towards the bathroom, Lorena noticed something about him. “Where’d you get the clothes?” she asked, mouth still filled with food. He was now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. “It’s part of my suit,” he responded, fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror. “¿Cómo?” He sighed. “Remember what I said about the whole nanotech thing last night?” “Yeah, what about it?” Suddenly, the shirt and sweatpants shifted into his blue and red suit just before her eyes. “Woah…” she exclaimed in awe. “I can change its appearance as long as the outfit is downloaded to my suit’s database.” “Oh,” Lorena expressed, even if she still didn’t fully understand what he was talking about. 

“Why’d you get to be born in the crazy, futuristic dimension with all the fancy tech,” she complained to herself, just loud enough for Miguel to hear. “Why, do you want one?” he asked, in between a small chuckle. “I mean it would be nice to wear something other than a tight spandex suit for once,” Lorena joked, getting an actual laugh out of Miguel for once. Lorena blushed and smiled at his reaction. “Well lucky for you, you’re gonna need one for tonight,” he responded. “What do you mean?” she asked, after taking a sip from her coffee. 

He tossed her a small, golden chain. “The outfit should form around that chain. I had Lyla upload different outfits for the day, since she probably knows better than I do. When you’re ready, put it on.” Lorena admired the golden material. She was lucky she wasn’t a silver jewelry girl. “So what’s on the to-do list for today,” she said, still looking at the chain. “Stay undercover for the majority of the day, then head over to the Moonlit River club at night. Lyla should have that outfit uploaded by now,” he responded, brushing his teeth with the provided amenities in the motel. 

“Why, are you finally deciding to take me out dancing to pay me for my troubles,” she joked, taking a sip of coffee after. Miguel spit out his toothpaste and sighed. “Brock meets up there on Thursday nights to trade weapons.”

Silence filled the space between them.

She knew this day had to come. She just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. 

“I see,” was all she could manage to say, before taking another sip of her coffee.

Miguel could feel the turmoil radiating off of her from the bathroom. He washed out his mouth, and splashed a bit of water on his face before walking over to her. He pushed the box of pastries to the side, and took a seat in front of her on the sheets.

“Mirarme,” he softly spoke, using his pointer finger to guide her eyes to his. She looked up at him, trying her best not to get lost in the crimson shade of his eyes. “I-” He cut himself off before he could continue. He melded her hand into his before speaking again. “I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I want you to know that if this becomes too much for you…you can back out.” His inflection was weird. As if he didn’t want her to, but still wanted to keep her comfortable. A wrestling match between what he wanted and what was best for her. 

“And I’ve said it before too. I’m not running away from this,” Lorena said back, voice strong. “Ok. Just know if things get bad for you in there, I’ve got your back,” he said, concern in his voice. He had also found his eyes roaming her face, not realizing they had both subconsciously moved closer to each other. “And I’ve got yours too,” she said back. Once he had realized Lorena’s robe was loose enough to see inside to her chest, Miguel cleared his throat and got up from the bed quickly. 

“I’m gonna go into town, see if I can pick up any information on the street. You can do whatever you want until its time, but make sure to-” “Yeah, yeah, lay low. Relax big guy, I’ve got this,” she cut him off, reassuringly. He exited the room quickly, like he was in a rush to get away from her. He was gone for almost the rest of the day. 

-----------------

About 8pm that night. 

Miguel was outside in the main room of the motel while Lorena was getting herself ready in the bathroom. Miguel had gone out earlier and bought her some cheap makeup and perfume from a local drugstore, a sweet gesture. 

Once she finished with her makeup and straightening up her hair, she tapped on the middle part of her gold chain, causing a menu to pop up. She scrolled through the options until she came across the last one, labeled by Lyla as “night time😉”. She clicked on the option, as she watched in awe as her casual t-shirt and sweatpants shifted into her outfit for the night. A tight black dress, cut asymmetrically to show one of her thighs, and a turtle neck part detached from the rest of the dress, with glove-like sleeves. This feature allowed for the perfect peephole towards her chest. Lorena had a feeling Lyla would try to do some matchmaking with her outfit.

With a quick spritz of perfume, a double check of her face in the mirror, and quickly putting on a black headband for her hair, Lorena quickly exited the bathroom. Miguel was standing there, waiting by the door and checking his portal watch. He was sporting a black, silk, button up shirt, tucked into black dress pants. The fact that the shirt was way too tight for him was accentuated by his muscles sculpted by the fabric and the fact that the first two buttons were open. His eye was caught by Lorena when she stepped out of the bathroom, his mouth slightly agape in awe and his eyes almost stuck to her.

“It’s flashy, I know. But it’s better that I fit in,” she said, trying to divide the tension in the room as she walked closer to him. “I-...um,” he stammered. “At a loss for words for once O’Hara?” she teased. Noticing a stray hair on the top of his head, she reached up to him to push it back. “Quédate quieto,” she commanded softly, while she stuck the piece back into the gel, trying to ignore how he was admiring her. 

“There you go. Ahora te ves guapo,” she teased, patting his chest with her hand. Miguel still had that stupid smile on his face. “Y te ves hermosa,” he said softly, and with utter sincerity. 

She couldn’t tell if she was caught more off guard with his words of affirmation, or the fact that the blush quickly forming on her cheeks was confirming her secret love of it. 

Clearing her throat, she unlocked the door, opened it, and gestured her hand to outside. “Lead the way big guy.” He smirked at her as he walked outside. He even got the courage to offer her his hand. This confidence was quickly deflated when she smacked away his hand, giggling to herself as she took the lead down the stairs. 

The night life of the city was bustling on the streets. Couples together, arm in arm, surely walking to a fancy restaurant for a night out. Lines forming outside of nightclubs, patrons with an urgency to get in. Everyone walking down the street with their own story to tell, just like Lorena. 

After walking for a couple of miles, the bright, neon blue sign shone in front of the entrance. The door was a mahogany red, with three stairs leading down to the entrance. But opposite to Miguel’s eagerness to get inside by opening the door, Lorena slightly froze, eyes blank. 

This was it. It was going to happen. Whether she was ready or not.

“Hey.” Miguel’s calm voice pulled her back to reality. “Stay with me. Okay?” He held out his large hand for her. This time, she decided to take it. “And remember to try and fit in,” he added. Her smile quickly turned sour and annoyed.

The atmosphere was loud, a mixture of people talking and the bass of the music filling the room. The fact that the lights were out didn’t seem to matter much with the amount of strobe and neon lights flashing within the bar. Lorena noticed Miguel quickly putting on a pair of sunglasses hidden in his jacket pocket. “I thought you said we needed to fit in,” Lorena stated as the two walked towards a high top near the bar. “I did. And?” “You really think you’re blending in with a pair of sunglasses on indoors? At night? In a club?” Lorena joked. “The lights hurt my eyes,” Miguel said, puppy dog hurt. Lorena had to fight to contain the laughter rising in her chest.

Once they sat down, and the reality of events settled down on Lorena, she began to look around the club. People sprayed out on couches, drunkenly conversing or making out. People out on the dance floor. Men walking into booths in the back, shielded by curtains. Eddie was probably in one of those. “I’m heading to the bar. You want anything?” Miguel asked, snapping her out of her daze. “Uhhhh, just get me something strong,” she brushed off, still not entirely paying attention. He shrugged and walked off to the bar. 

Lorena continued to inspect the area, her thoughts bouncing all over the place. What did this Eddie look like? Did he have black hair instead? Was his voice higher? Her Eddie always had a particularly deep tone. Smooth like silk as well. She would spend days on end focusing on the way he would say a single sentence back when she was first crushing on him. Would he act like her Eddie? She realized quickly she probably wouldn’t get the opportunity to find out. She didn’t necessarily want to find out anyways.

…

Would she have to kill him again? Would Miguel make her?

The smack of the glass on the table brought her back to reality. “You weren’t really specific, so I just got you a negroni,” Miguel said, open bottle of beer in his hand. Without a second thought, Lorena downed half the glass just then, proven to be a mistake with how strong the drink actually was. Her mouth curled inwards as her eyes shut closed, letting out a few coughs quickly after. 

Miguel laughed slightly, and slammed his hand against her back to help her cough. “What the fuck was that?” “Hey, you told me to get you something strong!” Miguel defended. “I thought you were gonna get me a margarita or something,” Lorena said, rubbing her chest with her hand. “Haven’t had alcohol in more than a year and you hit me with that straight away,” she said to herself. Subconsciously, he handed her his bottle. “Take a sip of that then.” She smiled to herself as she put her lips to the bottle and took a good sip of the beer. “Better?” he asked, like she was a child. “Yes, thank you for your charity sir, you’re so kind,” she responded sarcastically. 

“Find anything interesting yet?” Miguel asked, taking back the bottle. Lorena’s eyes went back to the curtains. “Those booths back there look promising. Are we sure he’s here yet though?” Lorena asked. “I have a hunch.” Lorena looked up at Miguel, annoyance on her face. “We’re going…off of a hunch?” “Just trust me on this okay.” Lorena sighed and took another sip of her own drink, wincing again when she put it back down. 

Her eyes were drawn away from the drapes and over to the lit up dance floor. She had always been the first one to bring her friends to dance with her when she was younger. Seeing it again brought feelings flooding back to her heart. Spontaneously, she jumped up from her chair and held out her hand to Miguel. “...What are you doing?” he asked, incredibly confused. 

“You said we had to blend in, right? We’ll do that better if we’re out there dancing,” she said. “Oh, no way. I don’t dance, chiquita,” he said, almost embarrassed. “Oh come on, for someone with your build? You’ve definitely danced before. Don’t be a debby downer Miggy,” she encouraged, both of them caught slightly off guard by the nickname slip. He rolled his head back, wiped his hands over his face, and let out a deep, annoyed groan. Once he stood up though and took her hand, it was impossible for Lorena to lose the smile growing on her face. “You’re taking the lead though, Loré,” he said, having come up with a nickname for her as well. She hoped the sunglasses he had on would keep him from seeing the blush on her face.

…

They didn’t.

Hand in hand, Lorena led Miguel over to the brightly lit floor, music blasting in the speakers next to them. Miguel stook out like a sore thumb, his huge build making him extremely identifiable among the other strangers on the floor. Lorena fit right in though, immediately beginning to dance to the blasting music. Miguel tried his best to copy her moves, but ended up looking like a fool. “You were right, you really aren’t that good at this,” Lorena teased. “Ha ha, very funny,” Miguel said monotonically. As the music changed slowly to a slower pace, they noticed the people around them grouping to dance into a pairs. She looked up to Miguel. He raised his eyebrow at her, asking her without words. Her smile was confirmation, as they inched towards each other. 

Almost as if they were pre-programmed to do so, Lorena wrapped her arms around Miguel’s neck, and his wrapped around her hips. They swayed together slowly to the music, melting into each others touch. He rested his head on her shoulder, his hot breath leaving goosebumps on her skin.

“This isn’t my wheelhouse,” he quietly whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Why, better when other music is playing?” she whispered back sarcastically. “Everyone here’s lucky they aren’t playing salsa right now, or I’d be stealing the show.” Lorena let out a laugh. “Is that so?” He nodded, a huge smirk on his face. “I’m more of mambo person myself,” she responded. He smiled at her remark. “You’ll have to teach me some day.”

She struggled to keep the smile on her face as those words entered her head. You’ll have to teach me some day. She hadn’t even begun to think about it. What she would do after this mission was over. The whole point of doing this was so she could be granted her freedom. She wanted it so badly a couple of days ago. But now. She hadn’t even thought of staying as a possibility. Because to her, it wasn’t. She couldn’t invade Miguel’s life like that. She wasn’t even 100% sure how she felt about him, much less on how he felt about her. Besides, no matter how much she just wanted to settle down with someone. To live an actual life. She didn’t deserve it. 

Pulling away from him was like separating herself from her source of life, but she did it anyways. “You okay?” Miguel asked concerned. “Yeah, I just gotta freshen up for a second,” she said, wiping her nose. She turned around quickly to get away. Too quickly though, bumping into someone’s back on her way to the bathroom. 

Knocked off her balance, and her headband knocked out of her hair, she fell to the floor on her ass. “Sorry about that,” she said, slightly dissociated, reaching out for her headband. The stranger also reached down to help with her headband. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it gorgeous.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

That voice.

“Don’t lose your heart.”

She desperately wanted to keep her eyes glued to the floor. She didn’t want to look at him. But she had to keep her cover up. So she did, as slowly as she could though. And it was the worst possibly outcome.

He looked just like him. Strawberry blonde hair. Deep blue eyes. Small scar just above right eyebrow. His bottom two teeth fighting for room on the bottom row of his mouth. There was only one difference though. One of her favorite parts about him. This Eddie was missing his freckles. His beautiful light brown freckles.

She gave the stranger with her dead boyfriend’s face a strained smile while she grabbed her headband and rushed behind to the door. Her own brain pounding in her head was too loud for her to hear Miguel as she nearly ran passed him. She slammed the door to the outside open as she took in the air like it was her first breath ever. Even if she was outside now, she kept running. She sprinted down the streets, not taking any of her surroundings into account. She saw him in everyone’s face. His ghost had always been haunting her, but she wasn’t ready for him to move from behind her back to in front of her face. She ran so far and so fast until her legs ached, and even after that. She didn’t even know where she was going. She didn’t care. She just needed to get away from him as quickly as possible. Even if that meant leaving Miguel behind too. 

Her sprint was interrupted when her foot was caught in a change in the elevation on the sidewalk. Her face slammed into the concrete sidewalk, scraping her cheek and her knees. She used the rest of her strength, all drained out from her bolting, to crawl into a nearby alley. She made her way to the back and slunk down into the corner, hoping to meld into the brick behind her. Especially if it meant she never had to see him again.

-----------------

a/n: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG OH MY GOD. sorry if i messed some stuff up with the drinks, i dont drink so i really have no idea (im just a stoner instead lmao). UGH BUT I THINK THIS WAS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER TO WRITE I LOVED IT AND I HOPE YOU GUYS DID TOO

taglist: @the-ikran-man @jenniferdixon05207 @yuuuumii @elwyn7 @waniesss @lust-for-pan @natthernandez @pix-stuff @ang3lf4c3 @artfulthoughtswp @notwildlyfamous

[emblazons]

(long) stream-of-consciousness post clarifying one of my own analyses series (b/c I’m rebuilding my masterpost). you are more than welcome to ignore it lol

I feel like (and this is why I dropped the commentary for a bit lmao) there’s gotta be a way to reframe that whole “parentified” Mike series of parallels + commentary I did a bit back into something more akin to “Mike feels that he needs to step into a role more like that of a mentor / older sibling to El to compensate for the fact that 1) Hopper is dead + he feels bad and 2) he is gay + doesn’t love her romantically,” because he is not “parentified” as Jonathan is, and I know that (though he still mirrors the “older brother” role with El that Jonathan has with Will in his self-inflicted over-responsibility).

The ‘shorthand’ I chose (even as I was writing the posts) didn’t seem entirely correct to me, given that I kept looking for words to explain the function of the parallels in the show—and I see how it could be misconstrued as giving Mike Jonathan’s “role” in the narrative, which….they do share a few similarities, but he certainly is not parentified the way Jonathan has been by Joyce (< a great analysis by kaypeace on that phenomenon).

In my understanding, Mike shares similarities to parental / elder sibling figures because (despite the similarity in age between him and Eleven) her lack of socialization & individual experience necessitated someone taking on the “introduce her to the real world” role—something that the narrative “assigned” to Mike the minute they found her in season 1 (Lucas even comments on how he wouldn’t want this role when Mike takes it on, “I wouldn’t want her in my house,” etc).

When I wrote the analyses originally, I used “parentified” to describe how this “mentorship” role has led to a kind of repeated paralleling to other parent-child dynamics in ElMike’s platonic and romantic interactions—aka the way we see

- How El in S4 demands a kind of unconditional love/answers from Mike that doesn’t take into account his feelings, wants or desires as a romantic partner (the way she would look to a parent like Hopper).

- How Mike was taking on a non-age-appropriate burden in his romantic relationship as a result of his character, but at the expense of his independent desires

- How Mike was one in a long line of “male mentor” figures El looked to in order to affirm her identity, and got “caught in the crossfire” of that search/her anger once she realized what she had done inadvertently sending Henry to the UD

- How the reintroduction of Hopper into the narrative for El in S4 leaves Mike free to behave more age appropriately because his over-responsibility/guilt over not being there for El can be somewhat assuaged

- How all of those things combined have Mike in more parallels to actual parents and even an actual parentified sibling (Jonathan)…despite him not being placed in that role the way someone like Jonathan was by Joyce

—among other things. In the moment, I was just looking for a word to describe an ongoing phenomenon in the show of Mike paralleling parental (and parent-coded) figures—perhaps “over-responsible” would have been a better choice, but even that doesn’t encompass how it moves both ways, as Mike tries to mentor as much as El demands it when she feels insecure. Still…Mike is not literally being “parentified” the way Jonathan is/was (or in the most technically accurate sense of the word).

Now, there is language around a parent-child relationship showing up in romances—though that might also be seen as over-explaining what’s going on between Mike & El, because while their relationship does veer codependent at times (because she grew up in a lab / did not enter her romance with a full identity—looking at you “how do I know what I like” + Mike demanding rules + limits on her among other things in S3), El is actively moving out of that and into her own. It’s why we talk about El having an “independence” arc in the first place.

I do also think the removal of Hopper as a character end of S3 (however you feel about him) put a weight on the shoulders of a lot of younger male characters who benefited from him taking on a (literal) “patriarchal” role as Joyce’s primary male reliance (in the case of true Parentified!Jonathan) and El’s dad, but. Mike trying to keep his relationship behaviors functionally platonic (so as to avoid lying while still not admitting he’s gay) while also struggling to let go of his role as one of El’s “introduction to the world” mentors does not mean he’s been pushed into a parental role literally. My lack of specificity for the sake of explaining the phenomena leaves room for conflating though, that it’s hard to undo.

Idk. I just feel like a lack of specific language / my choice of shorthand could be seen as trying to give Mike something that isn’t his place in the narrative (at least if you take the ‘parentified’ as its ‘a child who parental responsibilities are being demanded of’ (Jonathan) and not ‘one being circumstantially put into a role more like a parent / mentor than the romantic partner they are supposed to be’ (Mike)? Which…I mean it just helped me understand in the moment but may have seemed like an overreach given that Mike (if he was more secure) could stop doing what he’s doing in a way Jonathan literally cannot escape. If…that makes sense lmao

[underratedandoverit]

okay, last orangekip request lol i love introspective fics, like when a character is thinking about how much they love the other and what exactly they like about them. so maybe a fic where oc is thinking about how much he loves kip during a mundane thing, like watching kip streaming or playing with his hair while he sleeps in his lap. can take place in the belt corruption arc or not. i'll leave it up to you 💚

~2,3k words orangekip (orange cassidy/kip sabian)

set in immortal fears/the belt corruption au. this is literally 2k words of me rambling about details and plot points in immortal fears and then the remaining few hundred words are like. actually something cute and fluffy lmao. i mean sometimes a man just gotta think, you know. but he has a good reason, as you can see in the end :3c

@stormbornpirate

on ao3

---------------------------

Usually nights like this made him anxious. The darkness surrounded by almost a deafening silence was rarely tolerable, whether he was alone or not, despite the horrors being mostly left behind him a while ago, he could still occasionally see shadows and figures move around in the darkest corners of the rooms he occupied.

Tonight things felt different. Maybe it was because it had been a relatively good day compared to many previous ones, maybe because he was tired but content with today's work that had gotten done even though it wasn't absolutely everything he wanted to do…

Maybe it was the sleeping Kip laying on the couch next to him, curled up against the side of his leg, head laid down comfortably on his lap.

Cassidy looked down at him, a small smile playing on his lips. They probably should have moved to bed ages ago, but ever since Kip had passed out on him almost as soon as they had gotten home, Cassidy just didn’t dare to wake him up and move the two of them to the bedroom. He looked so comfortable there, his steady breathing the only sound in the living room as Cassidy had muted the television to allow Kip to sleep in peace, as he was clearly exhausted after spending the whole day out in town.

Cassidy’s fingers ran absentmindedly through Kip’s hair, watching the bright coils he wrapped around his fingers untangling themselves and settling back to their places time after time. He honestly couldn’t really figure out how they had ended up here in the end, considering the extremely rocky start they had gotten off to years ago at this point.

They never really got along, or at least they never actively tried to. Cassidy was always with his tightly knit friend group, Kip was with his like-minded people. They didn’t hang out, they barely shared greetings in the hallways when they crossed paths. Sure they were familiar with one another, knew that they worked together and occasionally shared the ring too, but that was about the extent of everything.

Then one day, pretty much purely as a prank as Chuck had egged him on to do it saying how funny it would be to mess with them a little, Cassidy interrupted a promo by Miro and Kip. And that was pretty much the beginning of what had become a years long rivalry in most people's eyes at this point, most of them saying that Cassidy costing Kip the International title wasn’t the end of it either. Of course behind the scenes it was, leading them ultimately where they were now, but if people wanted to believe that the story still wasn’t over, Cassidy wasn’t going to let them in on their little secret.

Not that the road to get here had been easy for either of them. Cassidy could still remember Kip just disappearing after Arcade Anarchy was done, only later on hearing about the injury and the surgery he had to go through. At the time he partially blamed himself for it and putting them all through the match, though Chuck had convinced him that nobody was to blame, these things happened. Which, he was right, but knowing that he had been one of the last opponents Kip had faced in that match still poked his conscience occasionally, even after all these years. They had talked about it and Kip had said, multiple times, that he didn’t put blame on Cassidy as this was an issue he had dealt with prior to the match, but it was still occasionally bothering him, for one reason or another.

Maybe Cassidy blamed it so much on himself because he had seen and felt firsthand what being on the shelf had done to Kip when he eventually started to return to shows and the ringside.

His eyes focused back on the sleeping face of the Brit, watching the little content smile linger on his resting face, lips slightly apart as he was clearly asleep. The dark circles around his eyes were partially from the sloppy job of removing the makeup when they had gotten home, but Cassidy knew a big part of them were also the sleepless nights and the nightmares that kept him awake and alert for too many hours of the day. Kip wouldn’t admit to it at this point that it was still a problem, in his mind it had been tackled a long time ago, but Cassidy knew. He knew it all.

He knew how much of the makeup was a facade and how much of it was the real Kip Sabian. As much as the base of the eyeliner was real, the rest of it was nothing more than a cover up. To make sure nobody else saw how much it all had messed him up. The injury, the recovery, the return…

The box, the title hunt, the belt itself.

You could have shown Cassidy a single picture of Kip from any point of this timeline and he could have pinpointed exactly when it was taken, based on nothing but the way he looked. He had seen Kip go from the colorful though vengeful persona to the man in the deepest depths of hell, hellbent on revenge and redemption. While Cassidy hadn’t been there or a part of it every step of the way, he had observed it enough from the sidelines to have seen all of it develop. And he had been there enough to experience the worst of it firsthand.

His hand slowly left Kip’s hair, the palm pressing gently to the side of his head as his thumb ran over the other man’s cheek. Even in his sleep Kip leaned against the touch with a content hum, making Cassidy’s heart flutter at the sight. Despite everything they had gone through, both separately and together, they were still here, able to have this kind of a moment together. In complete peace.

He didn’t intend it to, but Cassidy’s mind wandered on its own back to the first days they spent together after Kip had been broken out of the curse, after he was no longer a champion. Cassidy had been the one to cost him the title, sure, but that had just been the beginning of it. It didn’t take long for Kip to fall prey to the aftermath, just as Cassidy knew he would be. And he had been there to pick up the pieces, to help Kip back up on his feet, whether he liked it or not, whether Chuck liked it or not, whether anyone liked it or not, because Cassidy knew he was the one that needed to do it, and he was the one that was able to do it.

It all started very rocky, and continued very rocky for a long time. Understandably it took Kip a long while to be able to get not only used to this changed situation where he was alone but no longer in control, and to accept the fact that he was not only getting help, but that he needed the help of the man he had proclaimed his nemesis. Cassidy didn’t mind this, it felt kind of bad to admit it, but he knew Kip didn’t have it in him in the end to fight against it. If Cassidy kept up with it, eventually Kip would give in, he would understand how all of this was necessary. Cassidy knew this, as he had been in the same boat before, only he had been in Kip’s place and Kris, and occasionally Chuck and Trent as well, in his.

Cassidy’s hand moved from Kip’s face, grabbing a gentle hold of his hand resting next to his head, easily interlacing their fingers. Even if Kip was asleep, this setup was so usual for them that it was ingrained into his muscle memory even if he wasn’t aware of what was happening around him. Cassidy observed his content face for a while, thinking how long it had been now that he had been able to look Kip like this.

It hadn’t always been like this. Hell, this hadn’t been the end goal at any point. Cassidy was just supposed to be here until Kip was better and able to get back on his own feet and take care of himself again, and then he was supposed to be out. That’s how it was supposed to be, only for a short period of time. Instead it had been almost a year at this point since they had moved in together, at some point down the line they had moved into sharing a bed – at the beginning this was to avoid extra nightmares and make sure Kip got the sleep he needed, but something about that clearly shifted the dynamic in the end.

Cassidy could remember multiple nights looking at Kip’s sleeping face, much like tonight, wondering how they ended up here. Where they would go from here. If there would be more than just him taking care of the Brit like it had been up to that point. Slowly seeing his actions help Kip, to genuinely make him get better and be able to get somewhat back into normalcy…

Somewhere in there, between all the good and the bad, the laughs in the day and confused, fearful tears cried in the night, his heart had decided that Cassidy was feeling more than just the need to help Kip to overcome this huge obstacle.

Cassidy felt extremely lucky to know that Kip shared those feelings with him though, he couldn’t even bring himself to think how things would be if he didn’t.

Feeling a lump forming on his throat the thought, Cassidy closed his eyes, inhaling deeply in hopes of calming himself down. Today had been such a tiring, hectic day it was no wonder him being this tired and having his thoughts running so rampant that it was making him emotional, but at the same time he didn’t want to cry and risk waking Kip up because of it. Cassidy was supposed to be the calm and collected one, he was always the stoic one, he wasn’t the one that was supposed to cry.

And yet, the tears were inevitable.

He barely stifled a sob, but the tears slipped past the shut eyelids, wetting his cheeks. Almost as soon as Cassidy could feel that, he felt a hand being pressed on his cheek, a thumb running over it, wiping away the tears.

“Hey.”

Cassidy opened his eyes, looking down at Kip, seeing the smile still on his lips, tired eyes looking back at him, just barely a hint of worry in them. While it wasn’t usual for Kip to see him cry like this, seemingly unprompted, Kip knew to not get him more agitated whenever it did happen.

“Everything okay?”

Cassidy offered him a smile, wiping his face with his free hand, giving a squeeze to Kip’s hand with the other. “Yeah… Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Kip looked at him, observing his face, like he was trying to find the lie that he knew he wasn’t going to find. “You sure?”

Cassidy nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Just thinking. About this. Us. …How we got here.”

Kip hummed in response, eyes finally leaving Cassidy, allowing him a little breathing room. Kip pushed himself up from his lap, stretching a little with a yawn. As Kip settled back to his spot on the couch next to Cassidy, he leaned closer to the blond, pressing a quick kiss on his cheek.

“I think about us all the time,” he smiled, pressing another kiss on Cassidy’s cheek before he pushed himself up from the couch, stretching again. “But it’s bedtime. Come on.”

Kip offered a hand towards him, Cassidy taking it without hesitation. But instead of letting Kip pull him up, Cassidy pulled the Brit closer and into a kiss. He obviously intended it as a passionate one, one hand running through Kip’s hair to keep him close as the man basically melted against him, in the end ending up sitting in Cassidy’s lap as the breath taken out of him was too much to keep him up on his feet anymore.

“You’ve really been thinking tonight, huh?” Kip gasped as he was finally able to get air into his lungs again, Cassidy just responding with a quick peck on his lips and a smile. Kip looked at him for a while, leaning closer as he snuggled his head against Cassidy’s shoulder with a quiet sigh. “I love you.”

Cassidy’s hand ran through Kip’s hair again, leaning his head against the side of his. “I love you too. But you’re right, we really should go to bed.”

Kip chuckled at him but obliged, pushing back onto his feet, raising a brow as Cassidy didn’t follow suit immediately.

“I’ll turn off the lights and such. You go ahead.”

“Well, if I pass out before you get there, that’s on you.”

Cassidy just chuckled at him, watching Kip leave the living room. Only after he could hear the footsteps going up the stairs to make sure he really was leaving his immediate vicinity, Cassidy stood up from the couch, reaching for the remote to turn the television off. He grabbed the jean jacket that had been laying on the back of the couch, hand stuffing into its pocket.

He looked at the little black ring box in his hand for a moment before putting it into the pocket of his jeans, knowing he could get away with hiding it from Kip for a little bit longer until the morning.

[jazzstarrlight]

YouTube or Twitch? You could try advertising/reaching out for help via art streams or something. Don't give up Jazz, I may have graduated college but I'm fucking clueless and exploring what the fuck to do with myself. So far I'm just a silly petsitter with a fuck all sense of time management lmao.

It ain't easy finding something you want to do for fun. Work wise I mean. Like sometimes you gotta just find a side hustle or something for the time being to do.

I once worked at an amusement park as a teenager...it was like trail mix. A treat but also there were moments that weren't so nice.

What I'm trying to say is that you'll find something. Even if it isn't something you were hoping for or expecting, it'll be okay.

I've thought of doing youtube art streams, but I can never figure out how to work around the fact I don't have the proper tech for it. Ever since highschool, I knew I wanted to do something with art as a career, but it's easier said than done. Wanted to be an animator, never had the patience.

Wanted to be a story boarder, my style is either too messy/too clean/too detailed for it. Now I want to be a illustrator since I'm able to write and draw comics, but I procrastinate on my original stuff with fan stuff which gets more buzz for obvious reasons. But none-the-less, I know art is what I'm meant to do in the long run.

As for the short sprint, the job search is simply to make ends meet so I can live during inflation without starving. It's not easy for me but It's something I must do to earn money in this society.

[camoooh]

Got tagged by @guywiththeroses (thank you ily) to answer some questions lets fuckin goooo 🤙

1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?

hmm. probably 80's boy george because hello, fun

2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling?

whatever's going really, i like lots of sauces, gotta have lettuce and tomato on it too. i love cheese but it doesn't like me so probably not that, rip. and gas/charcoal like what's better for cooking with or for the taste? i wouldn't know the difference for either tbh

3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?

no question, just a staring contest. he who wins, takes the oval office. i'm your president now, i'm going to fix it all (i don't even live in the U.S)

4. It’s your first day of vacation, what are you doing?

making sure the car has petrol, worrying I've left something behind, figuring out the layout of the building, finding all the exits

5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?

Nothing, i used to smuggle in my own stuff

6. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email?

spam emails die quietly in my inbox that i never check. pop ups count as jump scares and make me violent

7. What do you think Captain Hook’s name was before he had a hook for a hand?

Captain gurrrl what shampoo do you use, your hair is luscious

8. Rock, paper, or scissors?

rock

9. How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage? How long until the wedding?

i have never been engaged/ married

10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?

Both can be equally as awful depending on my mood

11. What is one quality that you really appreciate in a person?

noticing and remembering small details

12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?

this post is very american but growing up in england it was always a big ole jar of humbugs

13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?

the volcano probably

14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?

Agreeing with Dane on this one, celebrity gossip switches off my brain so fast. i don't care

15. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?

in NZ there's three exams to get your license, your learners (like a written exam) which i passed first time, restricted license (can drive but within curfew and no passengers) i had to take 3 times, and full license (go for it, no restrictions) which i passed first time. i taught myself to drive so i'm not surprised it took a few attempts

16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?

not really a sweet/ ice cream person but i think strawberries would be good with it, or fruit in general

17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?

tbh my diet isn't what's stopping me from living a long healthy life, its cigarettes

18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?

eh fuck it take the chance, go for the $500

19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: TV, or internet?

i already don't watch tv, i just stream everything, so give up tv i guess

20. Who is your dream girl or boy from movies/tv?

tbh i don't really have one? i always just look at characters and go yeah wow they're cool i'd like to be buddies with them

21. Have you ever met a celebrity?

nope

22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?

didn't eat lunch, the times i did have food it was just loose in my school bag lmao

23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?

a cook, i hate cooking with a passion, need someone to make sure i eat right

24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic?

traffic, easy, you've got music and a comfy seat, and lots of people in the same situation, its chill. stuck in a lift? i'm laying on the floor and accepting my fate. this is how i die

25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your ‘cleaned up’ swear word?

I will straight up swear in front of a child, they'll live. but sometimes its fun to blurt out random words that aren't even relevant, like "mozzarella!" or "traffic cone" or "Azerbaijan" (the last one i've used a lot recently it's just satisfying to say)

this was fun, i tag @echoanddust and whoever else wants to join 🤙

[t-hornapple]

For the artist asks post! #10, #19, and #23

What’s that one thing that inspired you to make drawing your consistent hobby?

Art's my job now and it's been a hard task getting back into enjoying it because I like doing it, instead of having to do it for money. Before that I always drew cause I liked to & was pretty good at it. I feel like this could spawn a huge huge huge discussion about art and worth and who you do art for & why that no one asked for but short answer: I like drawing! And I'm really glad I figured out how to enjoy it again after a few grueling years of steadily growing to hate it. I get to fantasize about stuff and daydream and then doodle it out and fixate on little bits that I really enjoy rendering out. It's fun!

Favourite character(s) to draw?

I really like drawing B and Fido from my on-hiatus work Dead Love. They're a t4t couple, B is I think a particular joy cause they're undead and have black hair (I love doing hair that I get to fill in all in flat black, idk why but it's so soothing visually) and long nails. And they got the eyepatch. Fido's fun cause he's a fucky little guy.

I also really enjoy drawing Mark Hardy, son of the devil. He's not on this blog much but I used to draw comics about him. He's got great horns and (again) long nails, but sharp black ones this time.

As for other ppl's characters... I don't do too much fan art so there's not one that really rises to the top. Character types tho are knights, vampires... random gay medieval men lmao.

Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what’s your favourite?

Yeah I gotta listen to stuff while I work or I go crazy. Music wise, Junior Boys' Big Black Coat has been on repeat for the past week. Klaus Johann Grobe's Du bist so symmetrisch is I think my favorite album I've discovered this year, as well as Holy Fuck's Congrats.

I also like watching (listening to) people play video games. Mostly horror stuff--Silent Hill 1-3, Bloodborne (my deepest love), all of Gab Smolders' indie horror streams. And then also all the Nancy Drew games I grew up playing & could probably complete in my sleep. (Halfmoonjoe's stream of Warnings at Waverly I think is a must-watch if you're into that sort of thing.)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO per your post abt tiktok I had no idea that was a thing but I’ve never seen any acc that would be you come up as a suggested account (I rarely get them anyways but when I do it’s usually like some acquaintance of sorts) so from my end youre safe o7

PLEASSEEEE “is it home wrecking if the homes already wrecked” GOODBYE

Niko having to put up with aikus shenanigans is so funny he’s taking one for the team

REAL miraverse reo>>> peregrine getting revamped into “reo is friendless” LOL

UAHAHAHA NO DW YOURE GOOD!! I have not once seen an acc that resembles anything close to what I would imagine to be you (??) no Miras or any accounts with names similar to Mira either I just see the original tiktok and whoever posted it like usual YOURE SAFE but AWEESJHS IM HONORED LMAO but there’s definitely nothing immediate that shows indicating you sent it or anything so I think you should be all good!! Even after looking through all the links you’ve shown in our convo too I’ve never had anything pop up and I doom scroll there soooo Also lowk I can’t remember how many you’ve linked outside of our convo but tbh idk how many people are reading through like the 100k words worth of convo we have so for the TikTok’s you’ve shown me you’re also probably fine

LMAOO I think I need to go recalibrate my fyp and get some yona on there omg

OAEU TIME LETS GOOOO but FR im sure inspo will strike for the req soon! Maybe you’ll get ideas while you’re writing oaeu LOL

LMAOOOO FRR THEYRE SO FUNNY I think its esp funny to think abt bc bllk is canonically live-streamed so imagine in their free time egos like “ok so bc that money grabbing tanuki needs more money yall gotta be streamers and gamers now get on YouTube”

NO FRRR I LAUGHED SO HARD I was trying to figure out wtf that was in zantetsus aura the fucking bullet train has me crying Nagi looking gorgeous and I always appreciate those villainous Karasu panels!!

- Karasu anon

OKAY YAYYY it’s only happened a couple of times for me with people on tumblr like once an anon sent a vid to me and i got the “___ shared a video with you” so i guess they might have seen me?? and just earlier i sent a video to one of my mutuals in an ask and i got a notification saying “___ viewed the video you sent” so they also might have seen my acct which ugh but at least it’s only two people 😰

LMAOO karasu is just helping natural processes along he’s not actually doing anything problematic 😩 the relationship already sucked it’s not like he’s being a bad person (not that aiku cares he’s just excited to pass along his wisdom because nobody but niko even listens to him and niko has 0 interest in getting girls so he’s alone on that front until karasu comes up to him) okay i think the aiku and niko dynamic in the oaeu might kind of be like miraverse tabiori?? like goofy siblings/slight father son vibes…i think it’s what makes the most sense for them HAHAH

half of the high school era in peregrine is just reo being like pleaseee be my friend pleaseeee like in the next chapter which i haven’t finished yet it’s revealed that reo is straight up trying to buy reader’s friendship LMAOAOA he does eventually win her over obviously but it’s not via monetary means 😭 but fr ironically (considering how she doesn’t want to be close to reo because her parents want her to marry him) reo is like the longest consistent relationship reader has in her entire life FJSKDJSH they’re like lowkey also soulmates…the funniest thing is if reader’s parents hadn’t pushed her to marry him to the point that she despised the idea they actually might’ve gotten together 😓 self sabotage on the l/n parents’ part at its finest

HELP OKAY GOOD my irl name is not actually mira but it’s uncommon enough that i wanted to come up w a pseudonym for online in case anyone i know irl found this acct…it’s pretty similar to mira so if it had come up you def would’ve been like “oh yeah this is her” JDFJSJ so that’s good 🙂‍↕️ and OFCCC i’ve become insta friends w a couple of my mutuals from tumblr once i’ve known them for a while 🤩 my rule is if we’ve been talking for enough that i feel like we would be friends irl you can get the irl socials HAHA…also very true…i think outside of our convos i posted that snuffy edit once?? and then the aforementioned tt that i sent to my mutual but otherwise yeah i don’t link too many if it’s not just between us

HAHA if you ever need shinah edits let me know i probably have every single one saved i will happily send my favs (i also have some of the other characters but shinah def has the most because…well it’s SHINAH)

i’ve been like lying on my couch all day doing nothing so no writing done unfortunately but trust i will be back at it and something should be out reasonably soon!! whether it’s a req or oaeu i cannot say but something for sure 🤩

LMAOO the bllkers (except reo because he’s rich 🤑) have to pick up side gigs in order to fund the project…barou starts a cleaning service…yuki and chigiri get into modeling…nagi becomes a streamer but people only follow because he’s hot so he has to do insane fan service in every stream…hiori starts a reaction video youtube channel and gets rin to guest star and they go mega viral because rin consistently says out of pocket bs plus they’re both pretty (rin accidentally gets sae cancelled for a week by saying smth crazy before revealing he’s related to sae)…otoya convinces karasu to become a scammer/find sugar mommies with him…it would be insane LMAOAOAO

I WAS SO CONFUSED AT FIRST AND THEN I WAS LIKE OMFG IT’S A TRAIN!! ig it fits w his backstory where he learned he was fast because he always missed the train???? LMAOAO honestly he’s such an unreal character i love him 😭 and yesss epinagi nagi is always STUNNING but they rlly put the focus on karasu and kiyora this time around like kiyora looked ADORABLE this chapter and karasu looks like a genuine villain but in a fine way 🤩 i can’t help but admit that idgaf abt himizu though like i kinda find him weird (the whole tongue thing is just. uh??? interesting??) and i’m worried abt what he’s foreshadowing w chigiri 😰

[rendevousz]

mum?

mother figure!nat x fem!teen!reader

avengers x reader

req by @teenwonder ; i absolutely love the entire teams adoration for reader skfksngnsf its so cute! could i please request one a little more nat based? maybe r treats and loves nat like a mom but nat hadn’t noticed that before, and the whole team is like listing examples of how and why 🥺🥺🥺

summary: the four times you needed nat and the one time she admits that she needed you too.

warnings: blood, a random attack out of nowhere because i'm not creative, inaccurate writing of medical situations because i have no idea how those things work, also let's just pretend bruce was around during iron man 2 when tony still had palladium in his arc reactor, also inaccurate descriptions of palladium effects bcs i just...don't know much about palladium pls forgive me thanks, and idk any hospitals in new york/manhattan or even the states LMAO so uh bear with this, and last but not least, my inability to write good endings

word count: 5426

notes: that's a long ass warning nevertheless pls do enjoy this fic <3

"i'm going now, bye!" you bid the team who were having breakfast together, walking out of the common area.

"bye, cupcake! don't get into trouble, don't do what i'd do and definitely don't do what i wouldn't do." tony advised and you rolled your eyes because tony says that to you every morning before you leave for school.

"wait, don't forget your lunch!" nat stands up from her seat and grabs your lunch that she had packed, from the kitchen island, bringing it over to you. "thanks, nat!" you grabbed it, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving.

nat smiles at the action, turning around to walk back to her spot on the table, only to find the team staring back at her with knowing looks.

"what?"

"you know, you only need to sign a couple papers and the kid's all yours." tony states matter-of-factly. nat snaps her head towards the man, an incredulous look on her face. "what are you talking about?"

"we all see the longing looks on both your faces. she's dying for you to call her your daughter and you, her mother." clint explains and the others nodded in agreement.

"that's nonsense. she has wanda too," nat reasons, sitting back down. "i'm pretty sure she sees wanda as a sister considering how much she drags wanda with her whenever she's causing trouble around the tower." steve raises his brows at the redhead who was in denial.

"she sees you as her mother, nat. just accept it," wanda tells her, taking a sip from her glass. "really? name me one time she showed it." nat challenges them, not knowing that they've been watching your interactions with her for the longest time.

"you have no idea what you just got yourself into, romanoff," clint chuckles, cracking his neck and knuckles as if preparing for a fight.

"remember new mexico?" he smirks and nat only frowns, trying to remember.

i.

"no!" you screamed, dropping down to the ground. you didn't care that you scraped your knees doing that, the only thing that mattered was the overwhelming feeling of grief engulfing your whole being. tears streamed down your face as you looked at the debris on the ground, the remainder of what used to be standing in front of you; a building. blown up, now in ruins.

clint, bucky and steve watched you break down in front of them, their hearts breaking at the sight in front of them as well as the fact that their teammate had been caught up in the middle of the explosion.

"y/n/n? come on, tony's team called for back up. we gotta go," steve tried to get you to stand up, failing when you kept your ground. you screamed when he tried again and their hearts clenched at the heartbreaking sound.

"we can't just leave her! please, we have to find her," you cried, clinging onto steve's body as he ran his hand up and down your suit-cladded back to soothe you. "y/n/n, we can't. the whole place is in ruins now," he didn't want to say it but he had to. he had to in order to get you to leave. "she's gone."

"she can't be gone! she can't just leave us! we need her! i need her, stevie.." you cried into his chest and he had to control himself so he didn't cry right then and there too.

he looked up to see bucky looking at the two of you guiltily, tapping his wrist to indicate that they were running out of time. steve had no choice but to carry you in his arms, getting you to leave the site against your will. but you were too weak to fight back now. "what am i gonna do without her now, stevie?" you asked quietly.

"we're gonna be okay, y/n/n," he tells you, sitting you down on a chair and settling down next to you as clint flew the jet to your next location. the atmosphere was tense and you could tell everyone, too, was sad about this.

"what if we're not? what if we're not gonna be okay, stevie? i know i won't be." you wiped the tears streaming down your face despite the fact that your face still wasn't drying up any time soon.

"because nat wouldn't want to see us like this. she'll be angry if she sees that we're risking people's lives just because of her." he says truthfully.

"we're landing, guys." clint announces and the team prepared for another round of fighting. steve turns to you, wiping the tears on your face as he made you look up at him. "now let's save some people and make nat proud, yeah?"

you nod at him sadly, preparing your weapons. all of you got out the jet and the second battle of the day begun. boy, were these people unlucky because they were on the receiving end of your fury.

you were busy taking down a group of guards alone when you heard a familiar voice. "y/n, behind you!" and you turned just in time to take down a guard who was aiming at you.

you didn't even have time to register your shock of seeing the redhead because more guards came at you two. you guys fought alongside each other until all the men were taken down.

"nat?" you breathed out. "yes, bub?" she answers as you both carefully walked over the knocked out men. she was taken aback when you slammed into her, hugging her the tightest you ever did since you met her.

"please don't ever do that again." you mumbled into her chest. she was about to ask you what you meant when she heard you sniffling. figuring out it wasn't the appropriate moment to ask, she continued to just hug and comfort you in silence.

"wait, that was why she cried that day? because she thought i was in that building when it blew up?" nat asks after steve finished the story. "i never found out why because she never told me."

"yeah, you should've seen her when the building exploded. completely shattered my heart, dude." clint states, remembering the broken down state you were in that day.

"wait, did you guys not grief over my supposed death then?" nat glares at clint, bucky and steve. "in our defense, they were about to blow up about a hundred people, we didn't have much time to process the whole situation." clint tries to convince his best friend, only to receive a glare again from her.

"alright but just because she cried when she thought i was dead, doesn't mean she sees me as her mum. i'd cry too if any one of you guys died," she states, still in denial.

she did love you like how a mother would love her child. but she didn't want you to feel that she was forcing the title onto you. after all, you had so many other adults around you, who's to say that you saw someone else as a parent figure instead of her? she didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

"woman, are you serious?" sam exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. "need i remind you that the girl sacrificed her life for you?"

ii.

"nat, watch out!" you stood right behind her where the man was about to attack her. you gave him a harsh kick to the head and that was all it took for the man to go unconscious.

the redhead turned around, not having enough time to comprehend what had happened before you dropped into her arms. you two were lucky the last of the men had already been taken out.

"bub? what's wrong?"

at this point, you were fully leaning against her. she was holding up your whole weight, hands wrapped around your middle to support you. that was when she felt it. the familiar thick substance on her fingers, leaking from the back of your suit.

her eyes widened, pulling one hand away from you to look at it. red. her breathing picked up as one of her hands felt around your back, finally feeling the handle of a knife sticking out from your back.

your eyes were already drooping by now and she lightly shook you awake, careful to not hurt you. she lowered you down and you were both sat on the floor now.

she presses a finger to her ear and you could hear her voice echo in your ear from your own comms. "can someone come please," she paused, exhaling shakily. "y/n's down."

if it had been any other person, she probably would be bringing them to the jet by now but it was you. she didn't know what came over her but when she saw that you were injured, it was like her whole body shut down. her knees felt weak and she couldn't bring herself to move.

"hey, hey, keep your eyes open. can you do that?" she asked gently and you nodded weakly. "bub, why did you do that?" she cried softly, moving your hair away from your face as you leaned sideways against her. the action caused your face to be smudged by your own blood from her hands but she didn't care as she caressed your cheek.

"he–he was gonna hurt you. i–i couldn't..." you paused a while, the pain getting too much for you to bear. "y/n, don't strain yourself. you need to stay awake," she tells you as tears streamed down her face.

"rather me than you," you whispered. nat's eyes widened at this. "don't say that, bub." she scolds gently.

you smiled weakly at her. "i've grown too dependent on you, nat. it's to the point that i," you coughed and nat worried that you were straining yourself but you continued. "that i'd rather die than live without you. you probably can go on with life without me but i can't without you. i need you, nat." your eyes closed and nat panics, shaking your body.

"y/n?! bub?! stay awake, please, they're coming!" nat cries out loud, holding onto your limp body.

"did we not agree to not mention that to me anymore?" nat glares at sam for bringing that up.

the night of that incident had been one of the worst nights for nat. she sat by your bed all night after you had been treated. she had been the first one you saw after you woke up. she had been the one you broke down in front of after you admitted the full reasoning behind your actions. she had been the one who opened her arms for you to make yourself at home in.

"i'm sorry but you must be blind if you can't see how really she sees you for the past years," bucky states. nat turns to him with a glare. "you don't know what you're talking about."

"oh really? who does she call whenever she has a really bad nightmare?" bucky questions rhetorically with his eyebrows raised.

iii.

"no, please, don't!" you begged, asleep and thrashing around in your bed. quiet whimpers turned into heavy breathing as you plead for your life in your nightmare. "please," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling harshly.

FRIDAY, noticing the amount of distress you were in, alerted the closest person to your room, that being bucky who was returning from a late night trip to the kitchen for some water.

he quickly went into your room, only to see you shivering and thrashing around in your bed. "doll?" he approaches slowly, finding you still asleep, though sweating a lot. nightmare, he realised.

"doll? wake up," he gently shakes you and you immediately jolt awake, breathing heavily as you register what was going on. "it's okay, it was just a nightmare," he soothes you, holding you close as one hand rubbed up and down your back while the other held your head to his chest.

none of that helped as you were still in the same state as you were when you woke up. "are you okay?" he asks, worried. "nat... i need nat.. please i need her," you whimpered, shaking in his hold. you were having trouble breathing.

"FRIDAY, get romanoff."

within minutes, nat arrived, looking panicked and disheveled like she had just woken up, which she just did. "what's wrong?" she asks bucky, approaching you two.

"she was having a nightmare and woke up and i think she's having a panic attack. she asked for you," he informs her and immediately moves away when she approaches, so that she could take his place.

"bub? it's me," you look up to meet natasha's pretty green eyes. "you're okay, bub. can you tell me five thing you can see?"

you looked away from her eyes, looking around your room. "i–i see my book on my nightstand, my lamp, my jacket on the chair, my laptop and the painting on the wall." you told her after some difficulties.

"good, that's good. four things you can feel?"

"i feel the socks on my feet, my fluffy blanket, the pillow i'm leaning on and your hands around me."

she smiles softly at you. "three things you can hear?"

"i hear your voice. a–and the faint noise from the ac and i can also hear bucky's breathing." you look up at the man and he smiles sheepishly at you, standing around awkwardly. you gave him a small smile back.

"two things you can smell?"

"i can smell my own shampoo..and my room's air freshener." you told her more calmly now, feeling the panic attack already going away.

"one thing you want to taste?"

"i wanna taste wanda's blueberry pancakes." you pout and the two adults couldn't help but chuckle. "you can have them in the morning. right now you need to sleep so you can have the energy to devour them tomorrow, okay?" you nod at the woman as she tucks you in.

not long after, you fell asleep. she then presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving with a less worried bucky now. and sure enough, the next morning, wanda made you blueberry pancakes.

"okay, so what? we all need someone to help us through panic attacks?" nat rolls her eyes. "did you miss the part where i came in and tried to help but she specifically asked for you? she needed you, nat."

"guys, i... i love her with my whole heart but she has all of us. i don't wanna make her feel like she's restricted to only one of us. you all love her too," nat reasons.

"yes but she doesn't have anyone to call her mum and frankly, i think you'd be perfect for it." wanda encourages the older woman.

"i—" before she could continue, her phone rang loudly and she thanked whoever it was that called her because now she didn't have to make up excuses about her doubt of becoming your official mother.

iv.

she looks down at the caller id, sighing when it was you, meaning the team had more against her now. of course she didn't mind you calling her, you could call her when she'd be asleep after a mission and she'd still pick up with a smile on her face. but it was the fact that the whole team could see how she softened when she realised it was you who called that bothered her. she really didn't want them to let her have hopes that you'd accept her as your mother.

"bub?" she said into the phone and half the team smirked at her while the other half gave her knowing smiles. "aren't you supposed to be on your way to school?"

"yeah but uh are you busy right now? i um, i need you."

nat immediately stands up, worry etched onto her face and the team frowned at this. "what happened? are you okay?"

"you know how i told happy i wanted to walk to school today? yeah, i just remembered why i don't walk to school anymore."

"what do you mean? what happened? are you hurt? did someone hurt you?" she bombards you with questions out of worry. at this point, the team had also stopped their chatter and teasing looks, equally worried for your well-being.

"yeah, i am. wait, maybe not. i mean, i was just being dramatic but uh, i tripped on who-knows-what and now i have a sprained ankle. i can't walk now so i'm standing in an alley right now so i'm not in the way of people. can you come get me?"

nat sighs in relief, thankful that it wasn't anything that she was thinking of. "you are unbelievable, y/n." she chuckles in disbelief at your clumsiness. "can you tell me where you are? i'll come get you now. i'll have the school know you're not coming today." you told her your location and she immediately leaves after telling the team what happened to you.

you were expecting nat to call again, to tell you she was around the corner but instead you heard a whoosh of air beside your head, followed by a crack sound. your head followed the sound, eyes widening when you saw that a dart had struck the wall beside your head. you looked ahead, trying to see where that came from.

if it hadn't been for your fast reflexes being an avenger for the past few years, you probably wouldn't have ducked in time when another dart came flying right for your head. "what the hell?" you grunted, staying low but still looking around for the source. you squinted when you looked up, the sun blazing but you managed to catch a glimpse of a man on a rooftop nearby. he had blonde hair and was dressed in all black, donning a same coloured mask that covered the bottom half of his face.

"you had one job! how could you miss her twice?!" the blonde hears his colleague hiss in his ear through the earpiece. "i'm sorry! i'm no hawkeye, how was i supposed to get her in one try?!" he scolds back.

"you didn't even get her in two!"

"shut up and just let me work! you're distracting me!"

"hurry because i see the redheaded one nearing the alley. boss'll kill us if he finds out we didn't get her in her vulnerable state."

"i'm trying, i'm trying!" the blonde closes one eye, his sight now locked on your crouched state. he saw you move once you saw him and he cursed under his breath, his weapon following your movements. "she's moving!"

"just take the shot and be done with it! you have to go now!"

and shoot he did. after he shot the dart gun, he immediately fled but it wasn't like you were going to be able to chase him down or anything. a scream left your lips as a dart pierced through your skin, right under your shoulder.

you dropped down to the ground, right in the middle of the alleyway. you cried when you felt the burn in your flesh. you had been stabbed multiple times before with much bigger objects so why did this feel different?

"y/n?! is that you?!" you heard nat's voice yell from a small distance away. "i'm here," you croaked out, feeling your body grow weaker at an alarming rate.

"oh my god, bub, why are you on the ground? it's dirty, c'mon let's get you up. which foot did you sprain?" she places both her hands under your arms, pulling you up on your feet before accidentally dropping you back when you let out a shriek, crying out in pain.

"oh my god, did i hit your ankle? are you okay?" nat assumed that your tear-stained face was because of your sprained ankle but then you wheezed, your eyes drooping the longer she stood there.

your right hand slowly reached across your left shoulder, the butt of the dart sticking out of your skin now in between your shaking fingers. nat's eyes followed your hand movement's, a gasp leaving her lips.

"y/n, what happened?!" she panicked but before she could even get an answer from you, you had already blacked out. her eyes widened, knowing it was the dart because why else would you pass out that quick from a simple penetration in the shoulder. you had dealt with much worse than that and she knew your tolerance level.

she took off your bag, careful to not move the dart. she then placed her hands under your knees and behind your back, easily picking your unconscious body up and rushing back to the tower.

when she arrived, she was met with many confused yet concerned looks from the tower staff, seeing the black widow, rushing in with the youngest avenger unconscious in her arms. they had seen you leave the tower for school about half an hour ago so they knew something must've happened on the way.

"get bruce in the hospital wing. tell him it's urgent." she tells the woman working the front desk, hurrying into the elevator and telling FRIDAY to get her to the floor she so desperately wanted to arrive at quicker. black lines appeared on the left side of your neck, slowly spreading to the right side and she assumed it was from that damned dart in your left shoulder.

"natasha! what's wrong? they said it was an emergency," the doctor spoke in a panicked voice when nat entered, immediately going quiet when he saw you in her arms, neck lined with seemingly black veins.

nat laid you down on the surgery table, frown growing when black lines steadily spread to your arms now. though she was too worried to think, she managed to at least tell bruce what was outwardly wrong with you.

"dart. left shoulder." she blurted, incapable of forming proper sentences now that she had seen more of you. the black lining your skin got her speechless and anxious. bruce got ready with medical gloves, removing the dart from your flesh before analysing the pattern of your skin. it looked familiar.

"FRIDAY, get tony down here. it's urgent."

"bruce, please, what's wrong with her?" she cried, tears now freely streaming down her face. she didn't cry much in front of anyone but when it came to you, you always managed to get her to do just that.

"hey, what's going on? FRIDAY said there was an emergency here, who's hurt?" nat heard tony's panicked voice but she didn't make an effort to reply. her gaze was fixed on only you.

tony's jaw dropped, frowning when he saw you on the bed, upper body covered in black lines. "what the hell happened?!"

tony stepped beside bruce, taking a closer look at your skin. his frown deepened. "wait, it looks like.."

"yeah, looks exactly like when you had palladium instead of vibranium in your arc reactor."

"does that mean—"

"palladium's been running through her veins for about twenty minutes now. FRIDAY, how high is her blood toxicity level?" bruce asks, sampling a drop of your blood from when he took out the dart.

"53% and it is still steadily increasing."

"tony, at the rate it's going, if she's not treated in the next fifteen minutes or so, she'll.." bruce pauses, not wanting to say it out loud.

"no, she just needs lithium dioxide. that's how fury and i cured your palladium poisoning, tony." nat finally speaks.

"SHIELD probably has them but they're all the way in dc. they're not gonna reach here in time," tony states solemnly, reaching over to move your hair out of your face, looking down at you sadly.

but he was immediately pulled aside, nat grabbing his collar and looking him straight in the eyes. "you have your stupid iron suits that can probably travel faster than the speed of sound if you try. you can go down there yourself and get the damn thing. i swear to god, tony, i'm literally going to destroy those stupid suits myself if you don't put them to good use." nat threatens, glaring at the billionaire.

tony's eyes widened, the genius having not thought about nat's idea yet. "yeah, yeah, you're right, i'll go now."

he left immediately and nat approached your bed hesitantly, not wanting to see the black lines making home on the skin on your upper body. "do you think tony'll make it back in time?" she sniffles and bruce's worried frown on his face softened. "of course he will. he won't let anything happen to y/n. we won't let anything happen to y/n." he assured her.

there was nothing they could do now but wait for tony to come back with the lithium dioxide. nat sat beside your bed, hands gingerly grasping one of your own. despite the black staining it, nat held it to her face and her tears rolled past the back of your hand.

bruce decided to give her some privacy, opting to inform the whole team of the situation instead of standing around idly.

nat pulled your hand away from her face, rubbing her thumb over the back of it, crying even more at the sight in front of her. "y/n, please. i've never told you this but i need you." she pauses, breathing in shakily. "i've always needed you and i'll always need you. you can't leave me, please. you said i could go on with life without you but you're so wrong, y/n. you're the reason i'm still here and you're the reason i still want to be here. if you're not here then it's as if i have no reason, no purpose. i need you, y/n. so much more than i'd like to admit. heck, probably much more than you need me. so please, don't leave me. i can't do this without you." nat sobs out, watching the patterns on your skin spreading and growing bolder.

at this point, the whole team had now gathered outside of the room, watching nat cry over you. they wanted so bad to get a closer look at their beloved baby avenger but they respected nat and instead, waited for her to finish talking to you. once she stood up and looked around, bruce knew she was done so he entered, followed by the team.

"status, FRIDAY?" bruce asks, sampling a bit of your blood again. "blood toxicity at 96% now."

the team looked your unconscious body in apprehension, some crying and some worried out of their minds.

"goddamnit! where the hell is stark?!" nat growled. her eyes were now puffy after having spent the last half an hour crying. the team had never seen her lose her cool like this but they figured why.

as if on cue, tony's iron man suit crashed through the windows of the room but he couldn't care less. his main priority was to get to you quickly. in his hand was a silver briefcase that he passed to bruce.

bruce opened the case before wasting no time in plunging the syringe containing lithium dioxide, your supposed cure, into you. immediately, the black patterns on your skin started disappearing. it was slow but noticeable. it started from the tips of your fingers, going up towards your neck.

everyone sighed in relief, and to tony's surprise, nat hugged him tightly. "thank you. you have no idea how much this means to me." she whispers. tony pats her back gently. "hey, i care about her too, okay? of course i'd do this for her. any one of us would."

nat smiles at him when she let him go, turning back to you and almost crying out in joy when your skin had finally turned back to normal. she let the medical assistants set your bed up and handle your sprained ankle before going back to sit by you. the team left her alone with you once again.

it was only about an hour later did you wake up, squinting when bright lights shone down on you. you moved around but you felt hands around your left and you heard a familiar voice.

"and remember when you dragged wanda to pull that prank on me with you and after you did, i grounded you like i was your mum or something?" you hear her chuckle, still not noticing that you've woken up.

"i didn't mind, though. frankly, i don't think i would ever mind if you continued acting like my mother or something," you spoke and she immediately tore her gaze from your hands, looking at you, now wide awake.

"bub!" she hugs you so tightly you didn't think you could breathe. you still returned the hug though, laughing. "i was worried you might still have some palladium in your bloodstream."

"wait, palladium?" you asked her in shock. "yeah, the dart that got you in that alley, it contained palladium. it's highly toxic so we used lithium dioxide to counter it. speaking of the dart, i'm going to find out who did this to you and they're never going to see the light of day for putting us through all of this." nat says, disturbingly calm.

"yeah...you do that," you tell her, slightly scared. "but palladium? in my blood? how cool is that? i had literal metal in my blood! i could've become like tony but like...palladium woman or something." you said excitedly.

"you do know we already have metal in our blood, right bub?" nat questions in amusement. "oh." you say dumbly. "and palladium don't belong in our body and you literally almost died because of it." your mouth opened but no words came out.

"speaking of, can you please not do that again? i really thought i was gonna lose you." she whispers, stroking your hair. "oh yeah, of course. i'll just announce to the whole world to not target the youngest avenger," you joke, smile dropping when nat gave you a stern look.

"nat, being part of the avengers at my age undoubtedly means i'll be a target for the bad people out there, but i don't care because while i get to kick ass, i know all of you have my back when it's my ass that's kicked. and i think that's the best part of being an avenger; the sense of security i get having you amazing people as my teammates." you tell her honestly and she smiles softly.

"oh come here you," she pulls you in for another hug but this time it's better because you could still breathe. you make yourself comfortable, snuggling into her.

"did you mean it?" she asked and you look up at her in confusion. "mean what?"

"when you said you wouldn't mind me acting like your mother."

"of course i do, you're like the mother i never had. i wouldn't even mind you being my actual mother." you say without a second thought, eyes widening when you realised what you had said. you swore under your breath, knowing you've just made it awkward between you two.

"i– really?" despite the teams efforts to make her see the truth, it was much more meaningful when she heard you say it yourself. "y–yeah.." you admit sheepishly.

"then you wouldn't mind if i actually adopted you?" she asks carefully, gauging your reaction. your jaw dropped, eyes going wide once again. "are you serious?!"

"yeah." she smiles at you fondly. "no! of course i won't mind!" you hug her tightly, tears forming in your eyes. you had gone all your life without parents so this was a huge thing for you. not only were you going to finally have a mother, but the most amazing woman you knew was going to be your mother.

"mum?" you tested the title, smiling when she acknowledged it. you were now crying in joy.

"hey, don't cry." she soothes you, running a hand up and down your back. "no, no, i'm just so happy. this is the best day of my life." you tell her. "me too, bub."

you stayed in her arms until you fell back asleep, nat tucking you in before going back to sit down on the chair. she looked down at you fondly.

sure, she was scared of the big step she was about to take with you but she had you with her and she knew that was enough. "i love you, y/n." she whispers, planting a kiss on the side of your head.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky

[ranhaitanisgf]

nahoya kawata (smiley) & souta kawata (angry) meeting female delinquent twins: nahoya kawata [smiley] ending

[𖤐] i really hate how this turned out because i feel like this dialogue is ass, but oh well. gotta post something LMAO and also i'm too lazy to make a header so just take this idk man

part one

❧ masterlist

--

the words that nahoya had spoken to you before you had entered the shop stuck with you for the rest of the night, and you weren’t exactly sure why that was. you could tell that you were pretty spaced out while you all were eating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to participate in the conversation when your thoughts were running wild.

your sister and yourself had never really had a lot of people close by to lean on who understood you, which is why you learned to rely on each other because you were the only ones who understood each other. this is why it came as a bit of a shock to you to learn that there was other people who could understand you, and vice versa.

he could understand me…

the dynamic that the kawata twins had was similar to the one that you had with your sister, so you weren’t sure why it was such a surprise to you that nahoya had been able to pick up on what you were thinking. perhaps it was because you weren’t used to having somebody else besides your sister be able to pick up on your mannerisms, (it was pretty amazing though how quickly nahoya had been able to tell though).

you were snapped out of your thoughts when your sister shook your shoulder, and although she had a gleeful expression on her face, you could tell from the small furrow between her brows that she was a bit concerned.

“huh?” suddenly, you realized that all three of them were looking at you; waiting for something.

“sorry, i wasn’t paying attention. what’s going on?” looking between all of their expressions, you knew that they could tell that something was up with you, and you internally sighed.

should’ve saved the thoughts for later…

“we’ve been here for twenty minutes and you haven’t taken a bite; are you feeling alright?” your sister asked in her cheery voice.

“i’m quite fine; excuse me for a moment.” you decided to ignore the somewhat worried expressions on their faces as you got up and made your way to the back entrance of the restaurant, deciding to take a breather in the alley. as soon as the door closed behind you, you sighed and sat down on the ground, not really caring if your clothing got dirty because of it.

because of the way you looked, everybody would assume that you were never in the mood to talk and would try to avoid you, since you always seemed to look depressed. instead, they would approach your sister because of her happy attitude, and of course you were happy that your sister had friends, but you had always wished that you could go out with friends of your own, instead of watching tv while (s/n) was out.

and yet, this person you had just met less than five hours ago seemed to understand you better than almost all of the people who had been your “friends” in the past.

it’s almost as if…

“so, what the hell’s been up with you?” the sudden voice from beside you made you look over, but you immediately looked away once you recognized the pink hair.

“nothing. i always look like this.” nahoya chuckled a bit at your reply, but you could tell it wasn’t a humorous type. he didn’t say anything for a minute or two, so you took a few peeks at him. the smile on his face was almost enchanting, and the way the faint light from the nearby street lights lit up his frame made you look away again in fear of staring too long.

you knew exactly what it feels like to have a crush on somebody, but somehow, this felt different, and it was the main reason your thoughts had started to overwhelm your brain while you were supposed to be eating. but in this moment, you had figured out the answer that you had been looking for.

you were starting to fall in love, and you needed it to stop right now.

“you have some guts trying to get away with that one. you and i both know that something’s up, so hurry it the hell up and spit it out.” his words might have been harsh, but the undertone to them was comforting to you in a way, and besides, the harshness was probably what was going to get you to spill in the end.

you weren’t even sure what to say in response; there was no way you were just going to outright say that you were feeling conflicted because you think you might be falling in love with him, but what other excuse could you give.

you hadn’t even really noticed it, but small streams of tears had started flow down from your eyes, making your blank expression a lot sadder, (which made it seem more you you supposed).

it wasn’t really like you were sad or anything...hell, you didn’t even know what it was you were feeling at the moment. you had never felt like this before, so it was safe to say that your confusion was a lot for you to handle.

without even saying anything, you could feel his hand push your head onto his shoulder. you were pretty surprised; what was he doing? you could feel your heartbeat quickening, and you could only pray that the boy beside you couldn’t hear it.

“y’know, you’re a pretty interesting one. let’s hang out this weekend.” looking up at him through your lashes, you could see the bright grin on his face, but it was actually genuine.

does he actually want to hang out with me?

“(y/n).” the sudden seriousness in his voice made you freeze for a moment, and the smile that was on his face a moment before was completely gone. there hadn’t been one moment in that day where you had seen him let the corners of his lips down, (and you had never heard of it happening either) so you couldn’t help it when the usual blank and sad expression on your face changed.

“you’re easy to read; don’t think i haven’t figured out what it is that you’ve been thinking about. so, let’s hangout this weekend.” you didn’t even know what to say, so you just nodded and moved a bit closer to him with a small blush painted across your cheeks.

maybe you had found someone who could understand who you truly were.

-

maybe I'll delete this and redo it tomorrow idk man this is why I write headcanons LMAO

[gourmetrat]

first shower with him

warnings: oral (f!receiving), some fluff

word count: 741

author’s note: no fic description cus like,, the title is very obvious lmao. also chapter 3 of ffa will of course be late again because i got a bunch of new books at b&n and i really wanna read them lolol

It had been a long week for you and Osamu.

Problem after problem arose at Onigiri Miya, with the first being a burst pipe which led to a domino effect of problems for Osamu to deal with. As for you, your boss had begged you to finish a project early, meaning late nights and coming home tired and irritated.

Even with it being Friday, and those problems now being a thing of the past, the stress they caused still hung heavy on you and Osamu.

You were cuddled up next to him on the couch, enjoying his warmth, “I need to take a shower,” you mumbled mindlessly.

“Can I join?”

Your face flushed at his question. It’s not like you haven’t seen Osamu nude before, hell he’s been inside of you. But the thought of taking a shower with someone and cleansing them from the stress of the week sounded so much more intimate than sex.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he said softly.

“No, I want to,” you said hurriedly, “I was just caught off guard by your question.”

He chuckled, “well let’s go then. You stink.” You gave him a dirty look as you two got up to walk to the bathroom.

-

You stared at Osamu’s back while letting the hot water work out the knots in your body. You stared at the faint muscles in his back as he scrubbed his hair with shampoo. Being the owner of a successful restaurant had softened his athletic figure over the years, much to your delight. You undoubtedly loved his sturdy body, but there was nothing better than cuddling up against the softened muscle.

You allowed Osamu to stand under the water once he was done lathering his hair. You smiled softly to yourself as he rinsed out the suds from his hair. Your heart swelled at the sight of his eyes screwed shut and slicked back hair, “you look cute with your hair slicked back,” you giggled.

“Yeah? Should I start styling it like this then?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself there, Samu,” you warned in a teasing manner.

You reached for your washcloth and lathered it up with soap, but Osamu snatched it from you before you could begin washing yourself. You looked at him with your brows raised, “allow me.”

Heat spread to your face as Osamu gently lathered your skin with the cloth. His touch wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t so soft that it wouldn’t clean you. He started from your neck, and then followed the suds to your shoulders and chest. Usually when Osamu had his hands on your breasts it was sexual, but this was so different. His touch was warm and comforting, an ode to the love between the two of you.

He switched places with you, placing you back under the stream of hot water. Osamu abandoned the washcloth as his hands traveled further south on your body. You whimpered as his fingers ghosted over your cunt, “I gotta clean here too,” he whispered before getting onto his knees before you.

Still standing, you spread your legs wider as Osamu parted your lips with his thumbs. He teasingly circled your clit with his tongue. He slowly added more pressure, focusing it on the outer parts of your clit as to not bring you to your climax too quickly, he wanted this to last.

He looked up at your face as he continued, you were looking down at him with your lip between your teeth in an attempt to muffle your moans. You had one hand bracing yourself on the wall of the shower, and the other pulling at the roots of his soaked hair. His cock felt heavy between his legs at the sight of you like this. Osamu pulled back momentarily to speak, “I wanna hear you, okay? No hiding those pretty moans.”

A cry was ripped from your throat as Osamu quickly flicked his tongue over and over again on your sensitive nub. You let go, not caring about how loud your moans were as you came. Osamu eagerly worked you through your orgasm, not stopping until you were pushing at his forehead from the overstimulation.

Osamu pulled away panting and looked up at your blissed out face, your chest rising and falling as you spoke, “gotta make you feel good too Samu,” you mumbled.

He grinned boyishly as he gestured to his softening cock, “you already did baby.”

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