#now his stunts aren’t for evil they’re for likes and requests his followers gave that he seemed appropriate

[worstloki]

Wholeheartedly believe Loki could get a few followers on social media and it would go to his head. He doesn’t need to fight the Avengers on the regular anymore because he’s busy making posts and chatting with random people with his ‘RP Earthsona’ etc.

[my-writings-and-musings]

Can I request the hostage prompt with whirl,cygate and megatron with a human so

Ohoho I've been waiting to do this one... Hope everyone enjoys some silliness mixed with sweetness!

Part One: You're Here!

Part Two: Here!

Whirl

·You've always had a kind of strength Whirl recognized and admired, it's one of the reasons he fell for you in the first place, but even you aren't sure what exactly gives you the fuel to snap with enough force that it freezes your captor at their active communication station. Maybe you're just tired of being chained up, but their arrogant demeanor is more than likely what pushed you over the edge, specifically with that last taunt at Whirl that used "Cyclops" as the punchline for the millionth time. Swears are beautifully melded into an avalanche of fury that starts with you demanding this lazy idiot think of a better insult for your partner than something involving his looks, because "You think YOU'RE hot shit?! There's corpses in here with more charisma than you!"

·Fear doesn't even register as you keep on tearing apart your captor in every way you can. Nothing is off limits with all the taunting Whirl has been forced to endure on the other end of the communication line, and thus you bring out every below the belt insult you can think of. The bad bot's jaw is slack as you continue, looking to their dazed face and declaring "Not to mention you're dumb enough to go after MY mech, you think a loser like you is gonna stand a chance against WHIRL?! Just last week he tossed a combiner off a bridge because he called me "fleshy", what do you think he's gonna do to YOU?!"

· The communicator is still running when your kidnapper leaves it to try and intimidate you into silence, a move that makes you laugh in exasperated dismissal. "Oh, now you're gonna THREATEN me, really? Did I not make myself clear? You've pissed off the deadliest mech in the universe, and he's got the entirety of the Lost Light helping him search, your next few hours would be a lot better spent deciding how you want what's gonna be left of you interred!" Though you're not even knee height compared to your captor, he actually seems to flinch at your words, especially with you raging so close to his gobsmacked face. The rush of finally shutting him up spurs you to continue your roasting with increasingly petty and crude comments on your partner's significantly superior looks.

·In a stroke of fantastic fortune or misfortune depending on your perspective, a tactical explosion tears into the underground base just as you start to elaborate on Whirl's many other impressive skills. Bots rain in to overwhelm your kidnapper and his automated defenses in a coordinated ambush, one quickly ruined when your absolutely giddy paramour rushes forth without a care to take out the captor in a flying jump kick with a howling battle cry. Rather than eviscerate his now vulnerable enemy, Whirl leaves the crumpled kidnapper where he lies, heedless to the battle still raging all around as his optic sparkles as he beholds you. Like a damsel being swept off their feet you're plucked from your chains and pulled into his careful claws.

·All but gushing with euphoria, he explains that your brilliant distraction tactic gave them the ability to trace your location, and that he heard every word of your spark warming defense on his behalf. You can hear the unhindered adoration in his voice, but you also get a chance to see it as he practically dances through the combat with you held in one arm. By the time your kidnapper is the only one left, he looks lovingly into your eyes and primes his gun with a tender whisper. "Want me to kill this glitch just for you, babe?" The other bots quickly interfere to insist on taking him in for a proper trial, something you're quite alright with as you explain all you really want is to get some rest. Whirl insists on carrying you all the way to bed, whispering sweet nothing's and more or less being the most affectionate anyone has ever seen him.

·Afterwards you're told what it was like on the other end of the communication line. He'd been inconsolable at your kidnapping, and it had taken multiple bots to prevent him from tearing apart the ship as the messages came in. But the moment you'd started shouting? He'd been initially frozen like the rest of them, but had eventually leaned in beside the communicator to listen, his optic getting mistier at every passing curse word yelled on his behalf. Some described his demeanor as that of a lovestruck teen listening to their crush sing a love ballad, though they emphasize his emotional reaction to hearing you was undoubtedly genuine, as it was probably the first time he'd ever been defended so passionately by anyone. The endless doting on you he engages in afterwards leaves you little doubt this is true.

Cygate

·Having two loving partners has always been a blessing, which is probably why you're so easily driven to a blind rage in the face of your captor's endless attempts to mock both of them through the brief communications he sends to the crew, which are also made more unbearable by his ever increasing list of demands for your return. At his latest taunting of their "freakish" romance, you hit your boiling point. The communicator is still running when you lay into the callous bot for having the audacity to insult anyone's choices when he's set himself up in a literal evil lair. "There's body parts just thrown around like confetti in here, and you LIVE like this?! Do you think you get to decide who's weird in this scenario?! At least those two were decent enough to have each other as roommates, you couldn't convince anything living to shack up with your creepy ass!"

·At the total silence you somehow find the fury to keep going, but harder and faster this time, your self restraint little more than a memory as you dangle from the chains keeping you still. "Is it a jealousy thing?! Are you just that peeved off you're single? That you had to steal me to cut them down from three to two? Bad news dumbass; they're STILL beating you on the dating front!" It's not helping your situation, but tearing in to the jerk who's dragged you into a cave and spent so long bullying your partners feels too good for you to stop, especially with the stupid look of indignation and confusion twisting his expression. Not to mention he gives you plenty to rip into even as he tries in vain to make you shut up.

·"You think you scare me?! Do you even know who I'm dating?! Do you think they'll let you get away with this stunt?! One of them can destroy your stupid face with one punch, the other is Cyclonus, and you've gone and pissed them both off!" While it may be a little underwhelming to threaten the guy with what others will do to him, you're hardly in a mood to complain when his expression briefly gives way to one of horrified realization. Yet that hardly calms you down in any significant way. Did he drag you to some nowhere planet and chain you to a wall without even bothering to consider the consequences?! Your back is killing you and the bots have been enduring his incoherent demands for hours, and perhaps you could forgive that if not for all his haughty taunting, which drives you to once again begin raging.

·"Did you even have a plan?! Do you actually have any idea what you're up against, or did you just think you'd swipe a human and earn an easy paycheck? Because if you had even an inkling of what my mechs are capable of, you'd be headed for the nearest space bridge and warping as FAR away from here as physics allow!" While it's a new level of ridiculous, even for your crazy life, the absurdities of the nonexistent plan simply make you see red. It's one thing to be kidnapped by someone who at least has goals, but to be chained up in a cave by some idiot who doesn't have any plans beyond profit and bragging? That'd be enough to tick you off in itself, but the additional insults he's levied at your partners bring your tirade into molten levels of anger that seem absolutely bottomless.

·You're practically red in the eyes when the whole place quakes, and by the time you realize your captor is booking it he's already made it to the door, though his escape ends there when it opens to reveal the bots you've been wanting to see more than anything. A single strike from Cyclonus sends the kidnapper clear across the room, and he's followed by a battle ready Tailgate roaring out his fury as the security systems come on. The chaos of automatic turrets does nothing to distract you from the little blue bot pummeling your captor, and it only makes the arrival of a familiar purple mech that much more heroic as he snaps your chains and pulls you into his arms. The battle is little more than a formality before the barely conscious villain is cuffed and prepared for transport to trial, something your two partners are only willing to allow under the threat of personally hunting him down if he tries to escape justice. Before even leaving the cave you're smushed in the middle of a passionate hug.

·Tailgate alternates between ecstatic buzzing and relieved weeping at your rescue, while Cyclonus never loses a soft smile but keeps finding opportunities to hold and touch you as if he needs to be reassured you're here. It's heartwarming, but according to the rest of the crew it all started at your unplanned radio takeover. No bot had been prepared to hear their favorite human erupt in such unbridled rage, but those two had been shocked in the most wonderful meaning of the word, their expressions reflecting awe like no other until the ship had actually arrived at your location. Cyclonus had actually gone slack jawed while Tailgate had threatened to faint in his arms, but joy had painted their reactions more and more as time had gone on. The tiny powerhouse and the colossal mech out of time were still effusive in their praise every time you three were together, neither having ever known someone could truly love the two of them so completely.

Megatron

·Knowing that Megatron has a sizable target on his back and a lot to be criticized for doesn't make enduring your captor any easier, which is probably why you end up reaching a boiling point after a few hours of listening to the bot who's tied you up try to claim some kind of moral high ground. A tiny human being protective of a titanic gladiator may be illogical, but you can't seem to care when you finally hit your limit, the chains keeping you in place rattling from your sheer force of rage. Because seriously, so long as we're criticizing people for immoral actions, can you cut in about the time some raging jerk tied you up just to taunt another bot and get some cash on the side? Your simple but glaring barb immediately gets the attention of the much larger alien as they stare at you in shock.

·At his bafflement you become entirely unhinged. "Really? What, do you need me to spell out the irony of all this?! You're calling MY MECH a monster, but I don't see him running many evil lairs at the moment, do you?! Kind of rich, you claiming the high ground while I'm literally CHAINED TO THE WALL and our only present company is CORPSES, don't you think?!" The various and still unexplained dead bodies dotting the cave remain as the only audience you know of while the communicator is abandoned, your captor leaving it behind so he can approach and try to growl out some kind of intimidation. It has no effect beyond making you more furious than ever before. Had the chains not been holding you down, you'd have certainly tried to swing at his stupid face while you snapped.

·"Are you trying to scare me? You, a two bit kidnapper who holed himself up in a cave, and I'm supposed to be impressed?! I'm DATING Megatron! One look at a bot that terrifies the galaxy and I decided I wanted a piece of him!" You're almost proud as you declare your undying love for your gigantic partner, something that has earned you a lot of grief from others but has made you happier than you've ever been in your entire life. While you ordinarily don't attempt to argue on his behalf, per his request, it's impossible not to just grill a jerk who thinks he has the high ground to criticize literally anyone. Plus your open and passionate fondness for the former warlord seems to be scaring your captor more than the mech himself ever could, something that brings a devilish twinkle to your eye as you continue to threateningly gush over the bot you adore, if only to pay this jerk back for all the gloating he made said mech endure.

·You're absolutely effusive as you passionately and quite aggressively go on about what a gentlemech you're dating, with ample divertions to the many ways his incredible strength and size are used for much more protective and noble purposes, like holding you close or crushing bad guys. It isn't long before you're spinning a terrifying yarn about the time you were caught in a firefight and he tore a hunk of the wall clean off to shield you from the danger before proceeding to beat the attacking forces with the corpse of their leader. The kidnapper is actually backing away slowly, which turns to backing away quickly as you begin to describe Megatron's romantic poetry skills and how some of his greatest talents lie not on the battlefield but in the bedroom, by which point he's preparing his security systems to cover his escape.

·Perfect timing, from your perspective, makes the sudden explosion of every door a beautiful and inspiring sight. In what has to be the most well coordinated ambush of all time, your friends of the Lost Light storm the cave and annihilate the resistance so fast you only have to blink before a very restrained Megatron is cuffing your petrified kidnapper and tossing him to Magnus so he can be taken into custody. When he turns to you he's actually smiling, and there's a lot behind the expression. Relief, gratitude, exhaustion, and a million other emotions swarm in his optics as the chains keeping you bound crumble like dust in his grip, and you're lifted in his cupped hands like a priceless treasure. Though he's mostly quiet for some time after, you can hear how absolutely smitten he is with you every time he speaks, and the lovestruck look of pure affection never seems to leave his face, which you see often as he appears terrified to lose you.

·A couple of other bots feel compelled to tell you; he was on the warpath when he found you missing, and many had been taking bets on how little would be left of your kidnapper once the former Decepticon got his hands on him. Yet, as soon as he'd overheard you, something about his whole demeanor had changed in an instant. He hadn't just softened, he'd been visibly moved by the passion of your defense and the fire of your love for him. The very idea that he could be defended had been unthinkable in his mind. Yet you'd faced a much larger foe without fear because you'd been so angry on his behalf, what could he possibly have done to deserve such a thing? His gratitude is apparent every moment the two of you spend together, from his rather out of character cuddling to his impressive increase in poems written to describe his adoration of you. Though it isn't at all necessary, you do enjoy having been able to let him know how deeply you cherish him.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys i am going to write a little bit early today, since i don’t have anything better to do.

today i slept in, considering it took me as long as usual to fall asleep last night on top of going to bed an hour after i wanted to. my dreams were that odd mix of like every negative emotion ever blended with a strange, intense fondness for the people in the dream. or at least, one of them. like i’d known them forever and knew almost everything about them, but there was enough that i didn’t know that they still had surprises, and i just liked everything about them. but the person exists only as a figment of my imagination so nothing matters.

they rarely recognize that i exist, when i dream about them. they can be different people, or other living things. i wouldn’t describe it as romantic interest, or physical attraction. just an aching familiar fondness. like the feeling i get about eve.

i wanted to talk a little more about star vs the forces of evil before i forget, and before i move on to the next show on my list. i’ve seen several comments about how “interesting” toffee is as a villain. i disagree. savvy and sinister villains aren’t any more interesting than any other kind of villain. that role in children’s cartoons has been well explored by this point. what would be really interesting is if toffee brought something new to the table. i was thinking about it... right now he really comes across as an “all according to keikaku (keikaku means plan)” sort of guy, and nothing in the story has challenged his Evil Plan. like, at all. what i really want to see, genuinely, is what makes him afraid. what makes him anxious. what happens when his Evil Plan is barely holding together. how does he improvise. 

i was thinking in particular of dio when i was having that idea, even though dio doesn’t imply that he’s genuinely afraid of jotaro until the big confrontation. and for the majority of the show he’s the same “all according to plan” guy. the difference is that we learned about him personally in part 1, so he’s not, like, mysterious and aloof as the villain in part 3. we already know he’s a large ham with a side of cheese and is also very persuasive. 

bill cipher was an interesting disney cartoon villain because he DIDN’T have an Evil Plan. there’s no way he was capable of planning that far ahead. he had short-term plans, but he mostly relied on his sheer power and impulsive kicks and seized opportunities as they came up and leaned back on the inevitability of a prophecy to Take Over the World.

i think about villains a lot...

when i was young i was always fascinated by villains. they were so much easier to make interesting than heroes. and they were having so much fun! i mean, my characters were generally heroes, because i was little and wanted to pretend they were my friends, and villains won’t be nice to you. but i spent a lot of time admiring disney’s villain songs and writing about characters that couldn’t decide if they were heroes or villains. right before high school i decided i wanted to dedicate some time to figuring out how to make a hero as interesting and fun as a villain. i’m still... working on that.

i dunno. it comes down to having natural traits that can be both strengths and flaws in different situations. and if you’re going to make a saturday morning cartoon villain, a captain planet villain, then you don’t have to worry about that and they can still be fun to watch. but if you go for a complex or sympathetic villain like toffee seems like he’s supposed to be, then they have to also have those same kinds of flaws. how are we supposed to see what the villain is made of if they don’t get put through the sort of gauntlet the heroes do? i want to see villains that are given as much development as the heroes get challenged emotionally and intellectually. i’m tired of watching their plans work until the third act when the heroes overcome them. 

maybe then they’re not really a villain any more if that happens. maybe that request is way too vague. maybe i’m guilty of the same thing in my stories. i tried to play with the concept a little bit in the jumbi story by having the main villain present in the story only through memories. it turns the main character (his minion, basically) into both the protagonist and the antagonist, struggling with understanding that yes, he’s really dead, and he’s not coming back, and he can’t hurt you if you don’t keep following his Evil Plan.

anyway, i went to therapy again today. we didn’t come up with a note i can send to the grad schools, even though i brought it up and i had the notebook right there in my lap. it’s just one sentence. why can’t i write it?

we retreaded some old territory with the whole “you can’t kill yourself, you signed a contract to be alive! if you kill yourself, you’ll go to hell!” thing. it still made me just as angry and uncomfortable as the first time. especially with the, like, knowing smile, and the near-wink, like i just don’t get it. she doesn’t even believe in hell. she didn’t use the exact word “hell,” but it’s... hard to imagine what else she could have been referring to.

i noticed something though. i was very quiet during her mini-lectures, even though i was picking apart her words as fast as she was saying them, and i had arguments i could have used. i just didn’t. it was too hard to make the words come out of my mouth.

i don’t have this problem with asher, though. if i disagree with something he says i feel comfortable voicing that and discussing our different points of view. i guess with the therapist it feels like a lost cause already. i don’t feel... comfortable enough to audibly disagree. i don’t trust myself to not stammer. because i descend into a horrible stuttering spiral every time i am even a little bit nervous. even when i’m not nervous it’s a 50/50. 

i again wonder how i look when i’m sitting there letting her say all she wants. she told me it was hard to get me to say anything. i don’t think she gave me enough time to think about what i wanted to say next before she would gesture for me to continue though. and i tried to bring up some stuff i’d written down here this week, but it sounded dumb and uncertain when i said it out loud. so, like, i’d give up before i was able to articulate the full thought. so my concerns came off as kind of, shallow? 

like i said i wasn’t sure i fully understood meditating, and i had the words in my head, but i didn’t quibble about not understanding how to think things through and also not think at the same time. how to experience the present moment and my emotions as they came for long periods of time without thinking about how i felt about what was happening, or why i was feeling the emotions. so she explained the basic premise of meditation and the goal to focus on breathing. which wasn’t really what i was asking for, or, it wasn’t what i WANTED to ask for... but i guess, technically, that’s as far as i got in my question.

“who are you?” she’d ask. i would ask what that meant. who are you is an extremely broad question. i asked if she meant, “what do you value?” because that’s generally how i think of it. she said “what IS your value?” 

i felt kind of bad, because just the other day i wrote about judging people for not thinking about stuff. and i had to tell her i didn’t think about that very much. maybe it was a lie. i don’t think HIGHLY of my value, but maybe i’ve thought about it before, because i obviously came to that conclusion at some point.

she tutted and smiled and shook her head. “you don’t understand yet,” she said.

i put all my self worth in my brain. i wanted to say that i felt like the thing i valued in myself didn’t exist, because i am not clever enough to figure out how to solve my own problems without someone else telling me what to do. i can’t do anything without someone else giving me directions on how to do it. how am i supposed to work at the edge of human understanding, and broaden our knowledge about how the universe works, if i can’t make up new rules? instead i said nothing and looked at the back of the door. 

i put all my self worth in my brain because obviously i’m not going to be a viable life partner with my orientation. or my wonderful personality. (it’s not a wonderful personality.) or the plain, compact package i come in. or physical ability. but even my mind ain’t nothing special. it doesn’t even work right. 

i’m afraid of accepting the idea that my therapists put forward, that “i’m special,” because i feel like it would mean that i think i’m... better in some way. and also because it’s the same thing my mom would tell me, in between slapping me around for being worthless and emotional and retarded. “you’re going to save the world,” she’d say, with this manic look in her eyes, a kind of intimidating grin. “you’re emotionally stunted,” she’d say, and she may not have been physically hitting me but it was basically the same. “you look retarded.” “do you want to go back to wearing diapers?” “i’m going to put you on a leash.” i’m only good for one thing. everything else i’m deficient in. emotions, taking care of myself, following directions... and i’m not even good at the one thing i had to be good at to be worth anything!

i write all this down and then i am too tight-lipped in therapy to make any progress. i considered printing out some entries and giving them to her, but she might see that i didn’t care for her sermons. like “you go to hell if you back out of this deal by killing yourself.” isn’t that horribly unfair? to the people with the actual neurotransmitter malfunctions that cause suicidal thoughts? it’s like saying that since some people can apparently will themselves out of cancer, everyone should be able to, and if you die because of cancer then you didn’t try hard enough and didn’t think positive enough. suicidal thoughts come from, like, prolonged chemical imbalances. that’s a medical thing. it’s not just about willpower. it’s not just about “trying harder.” i mean, those are aspects of it, recovery takes work, it doesn’t just go away when you start taking meds. but it’s... mean, to say it’s your fault and you’re weak and you go to hell if you kill yourself. it’s mean. depression hurts and it’s mean to scare people into hanging in there. it’s not the right way to convince someone to keep living. there are other ways to do that.

it’s hard to argue with someone in a conversation format. it’s easy to get interrupted, and if my train of thought gets derailed i tend to clam up and start just agreeing with everything they say until they’re done talking. i feel like the only way i could possibly get this stuff across to my therapist is if i wrote it down and gave her the note instead of talking. and it’s hard to challenge someone who is way older and more experienced than you are, even indirectly or gently. i don’t really have the stamina for a long debate, and starting this conversation would mean i’d have to commit for however long it takes to finish. i have enough trouble debating with people who DON’T have the “experience” edge over me.

the therapist example, of course, applies to my feelings on arguing with people in general. it’s exhausting. and i tend to get really stubborn, even when it’s not warranted. and being stubborn means i get frustrated when people don’t agree with my reasoning. maybe that’s common though... it runs a little deeper than that. stacking my entire sense of self worth on my intellect (whatever that is, and how powerful or not it might be) means it is really seriously super hard when people don’t listen to me. at least, listen to me about things i take seriously. i don’t care about disagreeing over whether or not adventure time is a good show. it’s... fun to hear other people’s points of view in lower stakes situations. and i do change my mind about that stuff. but like, arguing about the value of science. or how the illusion of masculinity hurts us all. or how people of other races should be treated with respect. i get burnt out. and i get the distinct feeling of flailing my arms ineffectually at the ocean.

i dunno. i’ve changed my mind on how to go about treating people of other races with respect over the years, as i’ve encountered more information. but to argue with people who disagree with the basic premise, that’s... heartbreaking, i guess.

and that’s what i was thinking about today!!! it’s been an hour and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if you read this far i’m sorry i tricked you into looking at a bunch of exclamation points instead of a conclusion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[scrumptious-finicky-illusion]

op left these gems in the tags:

Asgard has a small population so Loki sees the follower count go to 200 and just... quits as a villain

he has more than enough attention

now his stunts aren’t for evil they’re for likes and requests his followers gave that he seemed appropriate

you can’t suggest things like murdering innocents because he wants to keep his account safe for his younger followers

the avengers find out about his online presence very late

by the time they find out what’s happened everything is chill

Thor like ‘this was the suggestion I left haha!! he enjoyed the cat cafe!! ^-^’

he is doing drawing requests

And my brain went:

Loki adopts a black shorthair cat and a fluffy ginger cat and calls them L and T respectively. He takes pictures of them and uses them to illustrate and communicate his experience of growing up in Thor's shadow. It's both extremely funny and completely heartbreaking. One post goes viral and he doesn't know how to feel about getting two million new and sympathetic followers in a week. He's been occasionally drawing L & T as Elizabethan actors and adding quotes from Hamlet and MacBeth and A Midsummer Night's Dream. He unwittingly sparks a whole new Shakespeare revival craze.

Wholeheartedly believe Loki could get a few followers on social media and it would go to his head. He doesn’t need to fight the Avengers on the regular anymore because he’s busy making posts and chatting with random people with his ‘RP Earthsona’ etc.