#now I'm mad who wants to fistfight me

[hollowed-theory-hall]

hello 🤗

As your point about hinny, is Ginny actually so -called 'safe girl' for Harry? Like he knows her and don't need to know smbd else, they have some shared experiences (Chamber of Secrets and fighting Voldemort in general), she's cute and knows how to defend herself, so Harry can't worry, etc

I've always wondered how Ginny even agrees to this kind of relationship where Harry doesn't tell her anything, bc of their interaction in canon I don't see any reason to see them in a more or less healthy relationship after the war, especially if Harry becomes an Auror. maybe Ginny is like Molly in this way, clearly more than she can think for herself, and so is Hermione - they both listen to her as an authoritative woman and accepted her advices

Hello 👋

I think Ginny doesn't see their relationship the way it is. She idolized Harry as someone he very clearly isn't:

“But you’ve been too busy saving the Wizarding world,” said Ginny, half laughing. “Well . . . I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn’t be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.”

(HBP)

I mean, the things she loves about him are just not true about him at all. She is in love with a person who doesn't exist. And honestly, I don't know if love is the right word. I'd even call it an obsession:

“I never really gave up on you,” she [Ginny] said. “Not really. I always hoped. . . . Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some other people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more — myself.”

(HBP)

She is so fixated on being with Harry that she changes her own behavior around him so he would like her better. I also mentioned here how I think her interest in Quidditch is relatively new. That she started playing for Harry to like her better. (I mean, she only started showing interest in the sport during book 5, there were no hints of it before that).

Ron describes how upset she after Harry broke up with her, none of which she was willing to show Harry:

“You ditched her. What are you doing now, messing her around,” “I’m not messing her around,” said Harry, as Hermione caught up with them. “Ron—” But Ron held up a hand to silence her. “She was really cut up when you ended it—” “So was I. You know why I stopped it, and it wasn’t because I wanted to.”

(DH)

But that 'so was I', was he? Was he really 'cut up' over it? He didn't think about her until he saw her again, and Aunt Muriel was the one who had to mention Ginny's dress had a very low cut, Harry didn't notice:

“Yes, my tiara sets off the whole thing nicely,” said Auntie Muriel in a rather carrying whisper. “But I must say, Ginevra’s dress is far too low cut.” Ginny glanced around, grinning, winked at Harry, then quickly faced the front again.

(DH)

That aforementioned faked "toughness" is also one of the only things Harry actively mentions liking about Ginny:

He chanced a glance at her. She was not tearful; that was one of the many wonderful things about Ginny, she was rarely weepy. He had sometimes thought that having six brothers must have toughened her up

(DH)

Now, I actually think this behavior is very different from what we see from Molly. While I'm not the biggest Molly fan, I do have to defend her here. Because she may be a housewife, but she's wearing the pants in her and Arthur's relationship. Molly and Arthur have a very different relationship than Ginny and Harry. With them, I believe they know each other well and love each other for who they are. And yes, they argue, but the undercurrent is a love that's always there. Molly wouldn't just accept anything Arthur decided to dish (not that he would) at her and we clearly see she gets mad at him over various things, from getting muggle stitches to enchanting a car to having a fistfight at a bookstore. She doesn't just agree with everything he says/does the way Ginny does.

Hermione, too, is not someone I see willing to deal with Ron keeping secrets from her. I mean, she sent birds to attack him when he made out with Lavender when they weren't together yet, I don't see her as the kind of wife that'll be chill with not being told the important things. I mean, it's not that you have to tell your partner everything, but the expectation is that of trust and understanding, something that Harry and Ginny don't seem to have.

With Harry and Ginny, Harry sees Ginny as a 'safe girl' on whom Harry can have a crush. For Ginny, Harry is her childhood hero crush she's been obsessed with for years. She changed her personality to date him, she dated other guys to get his attention, and once she got him she did everything, accepted everything from him with no argument because she didn't want to lose him and was insecure in their relationship.

To me, this doesn't seem healthy at all, but that's what it seems like.

How jealous Ginny is, not even letting Harry go with Cho to see Ravenclaw's statue in book 7. How annoyed she got when Harry for a second mentioned Fleur is pretty in passing. Again indicates how insecure Ginny is in this relationship, she doesn't trust Harry to stay with her and she is willing to turn her entire life around if it means being with Harry Potter whom she thinks she loves.

This is how Ginny's character reads to me, which is one of the reasons I really don't like her. I don't see her as incredibly brave or badass, I feel she is wearing a facade of the badass girl she thinks Harry wants while beneath she's an insecure, emotional mess who is desperately trying to keep from crying cause she thinks Harry would hate her if she cried.

And I don't think Harry knows this is what the relationship is. I don't think he realized Ginny was trying so hard to fit the 'safe girl' image he projected on her so he wouldn't leave her. I think he misses all her effort and thinks it's just who she is — which is exactly what Ginny is trying to accomplish.

But Ginny doesn't fully realize this is what she's doing. I think, in her mind, she is trying to be a girl "worthy" of the Harry Potter image she has in her head. She doesn't see him as who he is, but as some Chosen One savior of the wizarding world Harry never wanted to be. So she puts all his actions in this context: "It's fine cause he's saving us," or "he's the hero so it's fine," it's not about Harry as a person to her. And she's trying so hard to be who she thinks the girlfriend of the Boy-Who-Lived should be.

So to your question of why Ginny deals with it? Well, she convinced herself she has to be with Harry (or, at least, the image she has of him). She wrapped up herself so much in that fixation that she was willing to deal with anything from him if it meant being with him. Except for him looking at another girl for even a second.

I mean, if she's willing to change her entire personality and date guys she doesn't like to get Harry and be someone she thinks is "worthy" of him, what's dealing with a few secrets to help save the world compared to that?

(It could've been really funny if Harry did end up with Luna who Ginny didn't consider a threat. But this is just me with my "if I had to ship Harry with a girl it'll always be Luna" agenda)

[rdbrainz]

Hi there! If you're still accepting Bleach requests, may I see your headcannons based on the Bleach Jet art of the Espadas and Quincies in delinquent school uniforms (specifically Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Bazz-B)? That official art just gave me major brain worms, and I really like your art and headcannons >.< Also, do you happen to have a Ko-fi/patreon to send donations to?

ACTUALLY funny enough I've been thinking about this art a lot myself lmao so I do have some headcanons! as for my ko-fi or patreon.. like I said before transferring money out of them is impossible where I am right now but I made a boosty acc (I'll link it in my bio)

First I wanna add that I just can't see Stark as a high schooler x). He has the vibe of a teacher who somehow ended up with the worst classes in school despite his formidable reputation. Though maybe he was a delinquent himself in the past so he knows how to deal with these little shits. He also has a soft spot for them so as strict as this man can be he cuts them a lot of slack. Like for example I'm sure Nnoitra would smoke in this AU so I think the first day Stark started working with them they met on the rooftop on the lunch break while Gilga was smoking and instead of scolding him Stark just asked for a cig. Nnoitra almost shit himself. I'm also sure he would ask his class to look after his daughter Lilynette so she won't get into any trouble with that attitude of hers. She's probably in middle school or a couple of years younger than them so yeah... the lil sis of the group...

Despite the differences and constant bickering Nnoitra and Grimmjow are basically attached at the hip. I can see them being childhood frenemies actually. Ulquiorra and Szayel are also somewhere in their orbit of course but these two are the worst duo to stumble upon. Very notorious

Ulquiorra is obviously the class president given the armband. He tries his best to mediate the conflicts between his classmates or make them behave better but it's all in vain. Mostly. Some days he's just not in the mood to be responsible and reasonable when dealing with all the bullshit. When trying to bring delinquents to reason you have to be either very respected among them or more fierce than them and Ulquiorra certainly lacks the authority because of his character and swaglessness. He's very scary when mad however. Everybody knows this by now but they just keep trying their fate. Like I'm telling you once he unbuttons his gakuran it's so fucking over

Unlike Grimmjow Nnoitra is actually bothered with his grades enough to try and work for them and/or study (not all the time of course what do you think he's a loser or something?) It includes scaring people into doing his homework, snatching papers out of Ulquiorra's hands right before the class starts (he's used to it so he carries around two sets of hw) or if he REALLY needs to pass an exam he goes to Szayel, the class smartass. The latter is literally equivalent to dying and going through hell to him because he has to abandon all his pride. If you have a shit ton of money you always can try and ask Szayel to help you. Sure. A little bit of humiliation and you actually know the subject. However when it comes to Nnoitra the freak won't let him breathe because: 1) he doesn't need his money, Nnoitra has plenty and it's already stolen anyway so what's the fun? 2) asking a fellow delinquent you have a beef with for help has different means of payment 3) he just really wants to fuck with this guy's head since he thinks Nnoitra is a curious fella. Gilga is well aware of all of this and he's well aware that Szayel will make him polish his boots with his tongue before even considering helping him with acquiring the forbidden chemistry knowledge. So he has to really work for it whether it's a fistfight or running errands for Szayelaporro. It's a good thing Grantz stays true to his word

Grimmjow has a well-accessorized uniform thanks to Nnoitra but his casual clothing is hilariously uncool. I'm convinced this guy has zero taste both in clothing and prints/patterns because he couldn't care less about what other people think is considered fashionable when all he needs personally is functionality and comfort. He knows how to rock a good hairstyle though but if he wants to wear flip-flops outside then so be it

Nnoitra spends all the money he gets on new accessories and CDs (and maybe sometimes porno magazines) for which he constantly gets picked on. If it's someone not from his immediate friend circle then it's not even worth thinking about - left, right, goodnight. As if he's gonna let anyone get too fucking cheeky with him. He's infamous for being called slurs and then bashing the person's head in for this every week because he wears heels and had to endure children being mean to him because of his eye in kindergarten and primary school so it's no big deal really. But if it's Grimmjow then it's a fucking word battle to death he just can't let it slide. Jaegerjaquez really thinks Nnoitra is gonna get strangled by one of his necklaces one of those days but whatever. It's up to him. His music taste however... Now that's something they quarrel about all the time. "I mean I'm not saying anything! Sure you can buy new TOOL CDs all you want.. cough cough... fucking loser.. cough"

Bazz-B was hell-bent on making friends with Grimmjow because he genuinely thinks this guy is awesome. Look at his laid-back attitude and vicious ways! His blue hair, his style! Ohhh, to be like him!!! Jaegerjaquez on the other hand was not very impressed with how annoying Bazz could get with his neverending attempts of talking to him. Too energetic and loud for his liking. He already has Nnoitra and his big fat mouth he constantly runs all he wants so another talkative guy next to him would be too much for his everyday life. He would literally tell him to fuck off and threaten him with a beating of his life but unfortunately it got Bazz even more fired up. Damn weirdo. And a major pain in the ass. They did find a common ground in the end though and it's... A motorcycle that Bazz owns. Bazzard suggested they could take a ride together as a last resort and it was all it took to buy Grimm. Imagine the most excited person you've ever met and they still won't be as excited as Grimmjow was at that moment. Instant fucking boner! "Dibs on driving though" "Deal!" Grimmjow was surprised to reveal that Bazz-B is actually fun to be around and not as annoying as he initially thought he was. Nnoitra made a joke about them having a date the next day though

I think here Bazz-B suffers the same fate as Sakuragi Hanamichi in the beginning of Slam Dunk which is constantly trying to get girls on a date but being brutally rejected each time lmao 😭It's not like he is a bad-looking guy no it's actually the opposite but his personality and hot-headedness are too much to bear for girls he's going after

Askin is a great negotiator and he knows his way around with words but other than that he sucks. He's not a bad guy, just chronically fucking uncool and has to hide behind other people's backs because of mediocre fighting abilities. He also gets in all kinds of stupid situations because he just can't keep his thoughts to himself sometimes which is a bad asset to his cheesiness

Äs Nödt is also not very good at fighting but he's more useful than Askin lol. A smartass and a menace who is talented at collecting data and black-mail on people by eavesdropping and other means. He's the one who proposes the most out-of-pocket ways of taking revenge on other gangs or teaching someone a lesson so you better be careful with him

I hope I'll make more art of this later cuz I'm a bit burnt out rn

[boatem-probler]

I'm Watching Tokyo Soul So You Don't Have To!

You Are Here! / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

So there's this 2015 Minecraft roleplay series that Grian was in. It's very bad and very, ah, dated, but it's also very full of Grian Angst, so people like to use it in their fanfiction.

A couple years ago, @paranoidpug watched every episode of the first season of this series, called Yandere High School, and wrote summaries of it, so people could learn what all those fanfics were referencing without having to actually watch the thing. They're very good summaries!

@sketchygainedyoursoul took over to do the second season, Tokyo Soul, but it seems like they never got past episode 8, so I've decided to take up the mantle of Tokyo Soul Chronicler. I know how it ends, and unfortunately it's like catnip to me, so this was inevitable really.

Also I'm starting from the beginning, because I'm using a different format and I wanted consistency I guess.

Content warnings for briefly mentioned violence, stalking, and uh... idk how to describe what's going on with Geode. Generally creepy behavior from an adult to a minor is broad enough I think. But in like, a mad scientist way? Yeah.

And Now... The Episodes Without Grian In Them

(I'm really selling this, huh...)

Episode 1 – New Beginning!

You are now sitting.

Sam, Taurtis, and Dom are in a train. They've just arrived in Tokyo. Sam told Taurtis they were going to Disneyland, because Taurtis doesn’t like big cities. Grian is not there.

Okami, their former teacher, has tasked them with navigating from the train station to a restaurant called “SushiWushi”. Let’s see how The Boys mess this one up!

They encounter a skeevy old man named Old Kurokuma outside the train station.

They get someone else named Igbar von Squid to show them the way to SushiWushi, but Sam wants to “mingle” by the dumpsters instead.

I’m now running the video back, because I want to see exactly how long it takes them to get to this restaurant.

Also Dom has the best outfit of the three.

“I’m starting to get spooked. Why’d you even come back here, Taurtis?” says Sam.

They encounter someone literally named “Suspicious Person” burning money in a fire, who offers them “sugar”. They jump over the fire to get away, with varying degrees of success.

“STOP DROP AND RICKROLL” – Dom

They do their “look both ways even though there are no moving cars in existence” bit. If I was Igbar I woulda just left them by this point. Igbar is visibly slumping.

The creepy old man is still following them, also.

They arrive at SushiWushi! It took them 10 minutes and 16 seconds (if my math is right). Honestly? I thought they wouldn’t be there before the episode was over, so good on them.

I’m obsessed with how their Minecraft avatars’ arms move when they’re sitting, by the way, it makes them look like a kid pretending to drive their parents’ car.

Sam and Taurtis both mention feeling uncomfortable around girls with knives.

Taurtis is arguing about pufferfish, Sam is trying to steal sushi from the next table over, Dom is… getting into a fistfight in the background?

Luckily, the person they were supposed to meet, Kiyu, arrives, and WHOA THEY HAVE A VOICE.

Kiyu begins showing them around.

Episode 2 – FIRST SCHOOL DAY!

Kiyu is bad with directions.

Old Kurokuma is STILL following them.

Kiyu shows them their house, they’re very excited about how fancy it is. Kiyu assures them that most of their stuff is there.

Dom is going to live in the dumpster outside apparently.

Kurokuma is outside their house now.

“We’re in the witness protection program, but I feel SO much more unsafe than we were before” – Taurtis. And from what I know it only gets worse!

The next morning, the boys attempt to make their way to school, but they don’t know where it is. They ask a student passing by, then decide to “jump ‘em” when they’re too shy to answer the question.

Taurtis, running over to a group of other students: “Can I hang out with you guys? Can you be my new friends?”

Sam asks Dom for a high five. Dom punches Sam. Sam dies. They continue walking to school.

Taurtis: “I miss our old school, I bet this one’s not even haunted.” Sam: “We could make it haunted!”

At school, they meet back up with Kiyu, who also goes there apparently, and she takes them to get their schedules from Señor Loro, who is wearing a luchador mask and what appears to be a Christmas sweater.

Señor Loro drops them through a trapdoor into a secret wrestling ring. They must wrestle him for their schedules, obviously.

Oh dang they actually have Four Whole Classes this time.

Episode 3 – TEACHER TORI!

On the way to their lockers, one of the other students, Greentama, who is wearing a One Punch Man outfit, one-punches them for jaywalking.

“There’s some weird stuff in these lockers.” – Kiyu

Their first class is with Teacher Tori, who is supposed to be Toriel from Undertale I think? She teaches Agriculture, apparently.

Creepy Man Update: He Is Still There

They go out to the courtyard to collect flowers. We learn that Kiyu avoids the sun.

We also learn that Señor Loro is the guidance counselor.

“Fish are just flowers that swim in the ocean.” – Taurtis

Their next class is Dr. Nurse MD’s Class of Not Dying!

Taurtis does not understand what witness protection is.

Dr. Nurse MD is teaching CPR. He asks for a volunteer from the audience. Taurtis gets volunteered. Dr. Nurse MD does not understand what CPR is. Somehow Taurtis survives.

By this, I mean that Dr. Nurse MD’s conception of CPR is: Choke the other person, and then throw stuff at them. Now pair up and try it on each other!

[Choked Out by The Mountain Goats playing in the background]

Episode 4 – DON’T DROWN!

Time for lunch!

One of the kids who was in Nurse MD’s class is stumbling around coughing up blood, it seems. Lovely.

Sam and Taurtis decide to eat lunch on the high diving board, where they witness someone almost drown.

Time for gym class! The PacerGram Fitness Test is a–

They do laps around the gym. Gym Teacher Helena loves pain, it seems. Also she has quite a bit of favoritism towards Kiyu.

The kid who was coughing up blood earlier is NOT looking good.

Episode 5 – CREEPY TEACHER!

Their last class is in classroom 12, which has a number 4 outside of the door, and also a gold key and a bottle of Mountain Dew. The floor inside is covered in mushrooms, and the teacher, Professor Geode Rocks, is sitting on a throne. He addresses his students as “subjects” and “my children”. There are chains hanging from the ceiling. The boys are very uncomfortable.

Geode calls the new kids to the front of the class and asks for their medical records. Also, every time he says someone’s name, he says it in all caps.

Taurtis starts listing out all of the physical trauma he’s suffered. Geode decides the three of them are “not good candidates”.

Geode gives them homework: Collect as much trash as possible. Extra points for blood, hair, and nails.

“Wait an Earth Second,” says Professor Geode, much like an Earthling would.

He starts sniffing Taurtis. Taurtis is “the one”. Now his plan can finally be a success. He pulls a hair out from Taurtis’s head. Taurtis does NOT like any of this. Even Sam is vocally weirded out. Geode starts yelling about world domination as the bell rings.

Sam: “We can’t go back, we’re in witness protection.” Taurtis: “I don’t feel protected here!”

Taurtis: “I’ve never felt so unsafe in my life.”

This school’s Yelp review is going to be real bad.

Sam: “This is for a class, Mr. Geode told us we had to get blood.” Señor Loro: “CLASSIC GEODE. He is eccentric.”

Creepy Man Update: Still.

I'm probably gonna do 1 school day per post from this point, it's a good way of breaking things up.

Next Time... Grian!

[sunny-mercya]

Casino Blues

01. First Heist

Rusty Ryan x Male Reader | Platonic! Danny Ocean x Brother Reader

Fandom -> Ocean's Trilogy

Masterlist | Previous / Next | Prototype OS

When Danny, after being out of prison, asked Rusty to join him at a Grand Coup of heist—Rusty had only agreed halfway to it. After all, he wanted to know for what exactly they would rob and risking their lives and freedom for.

Especially freedom, because Rusty sure as hell—damned he will be—didn't want to get caught and being send, like Danny, into prison. He simply couldn't afford such ending.

And when Danny told him, they gonna rob—not only one but three—Casinos in good old Viva Las Vegas, Rusty wanted to know a even far more good enough reason for him to join in such madness.

And Danny, like the best friend and charming asshole he is, told Rusty the only valid reason he needs to have;

»If we pull this off and I promise you, we will. You can finally pay the devils debt and free [Name], moving to wherever your heart desires and afford the safety you have promised him.«

Danny was right, hitting a wound point in Rusty's ego, because there had been one thing Rusty—in all those years—couldn't do and that was giving you proper protection. Protecting you from a past, you would never be able to free yourself from it, if you didn't have a certain amount of money for it.

»Okay, I'm in. But if we fail, I'm gonna send you personally to hell, Danny boy.«

Rusty might have agreed, trusting and believing in his friend that they will manage this with a 100 percentage chance of successful winning—but he also knew what price it would cost him, because if they indeed fail. It would be you, who Rusty would lose and you're more worth to him than all the money and jewels in the world.

~~~

So far, the whole plan went, besides minor improvements, smoothly good.

Rusty could almost imagine the millions of Dollar he would have soon. Enough money to buy you free and finally live with you in peace.

Just you and him, thought Rusty, imagining the new chapter of life—fully secure, comfortable and happy healthy—he would have with you and maybe a big family with lots of cats and dogs.

„Uh, uhm, Rusty there's–“ „Rusty, there's a problem. A you problem.“

»What?« asked Rusty through the mini microphone, scrunching up his face in confusion—forgetting his cup of jello momentarily. Another problem? What do they mean with "you"-problem?

„Look towards the entrance. You might need to prepare for a divorce too.“

»Fuck. Give me some extra minutes to sort this out.«

»Robert Russel James Ryan! You do not leave our house in such fucking manners. How fucking dare you! Do you know how fucking worried I was?!«

A few people had turned their heads, starting to gossip already, when you marched forward to Rusty and shouted in anger at him.

Ouch, shouting his full name—you're furious, a deadly threat of trait of yours, with him and it was Rusty's own fault.

Rusty took a few steps forward, discarding his cup of jello and raising both of his hands in surrender—wanting to appease you.

Honestly, he haven't seen you this angry, ever since Danny and he had a fistfight with your "Boss"—which they of course had lost, as they couldn't win against a knife and knuckleheads—and you were so upset with them, that you cussed them out so much—they were taken aback by it, spook them just a little—while you treated their wounds.

So yes, Rusty—and as well Danny—knew your kind of anger very well.

»Hey, love, watcha doing here?« Rusty was curious how you got here—as you should be in sunny California, safe and sound in the apartment.

»Don't come with such bullshit. You know perfectly well, why the fuck I'm here. So tell me now, Robert, the fuck are you and Danny—and I know the fucker is here as well—suspiciously planning to do here?!« you had raised your finger, pointing threatening at him.

Rusty inhaled and exhaled deeply through his nose, trying to think of ways to get you away from here—before you either might could get harmed by accident, being caught in the metaphorically crossfire or causing a disturbance to their plan.

Though, perhaps, he could use you for a good distraction, but no—no, no, he had sworn himself to not do such things with you.

Gripping your arms gently, Rusty pulls you close to his side and leads you away to a more secluded area of waiting.

Rusty brought you a glass of cold Cola, which you begrudgingly took from your husband. Taking a few sips from it, you gave Rusty a pointed look—almost a frown or angry glare—awaiting an explanation from him.

~~~

Waking up to an empty bedside wasn't what had spooked you into a worry—it was the discovery that your husband was nowhere in the apartment and that he couldn't be called and neither Danny.

It might didn't seem like big problem for most people, but for you it was—considering your past and what happened to Rusty and Danny back then.

Your mind raced with unpleasant thoughts and memories. Every possibility of what if's run through, flooding you with anxiety.

Rusty could've been; in a accident, being in hospital injured, arrested—most likely, your husband is certainly not a innocent man and had done some bad things of illegally—you're not a saint either though—you're aware of it—or worst case scenario, your Boss signed of the deal and killed Rusty.

God, it causes waves of nausea inside your stomach. Lungs feeling so tight, it was hard to breathe for the next minutes and your body, shaking like unstable tower during an earthquake.

»Fucking above, I swear to, Rusty will get his share fair of talk from me to hear.« you grumbled out, cursing loudly when you hit your hand somewhere.

You needed to sit down for a few minutes, stress getting too high and head too light.

~~~

».....surprise«

»Repeat that?« you blinked at him, haven't registered one word of what Rusty just had told you.

»I said, I can't tell you what me and Danny doing here, because it's a surprise, love«

»Rusty, you tell me now, why you and Danny are here or so god help me.«

»My love, I can't. It's a surprise«

Perhaps, in retrospective, Rusty shouldn't have woken you up in the early hours of morning—still in a daze of sleep, in between slumber of dreams—and telling you, in a half-truth, about a little trip he's gonna do, kissing you goodbye.

And yeah, maybe Rusty should have told you personally about the little heist they gonna do, but then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore and Rusty loved it to surprise you.

»Fuck your surprise, Rusty. I honestly thought he had signed off the deal and oh, I don't know, killed you. I was worried sick, asshole.«

»I know, I know my dear. I should have told you, I know. Could my prince forgive me?«

Rusty leaned in closer, whispering the last few words in your ear as he asks for your forgiveness, ghosting small kisses over face and your lips—when you remain silent.

You rolled your eyes at Rusty antics, but couldn't help yourself to smile.

„Not to bother, rus, but time management?“

Sometimes, Rusty thought—holding back a groan of annoyance—the guys sure could be a mood killer and pain in the ass. It's his and Danny's team though and a teams a team and they a job to do.

»Wait for me at Helios-Motel, I'll be there in like a hour.«

Rusty kissed you one more time on the lips, before standing up. You had taken hold of his hand, before he could walk away.

»You promise me, you and Danny will be safe?«

»Of course, my prince.«

If Rusty might be caught today's night and they would ask him for his reasons, he would tell them; it's you, you're his sole reason for everything he does.

[klm-zoflorr]

The Marleyans part 8: Los Angeles, The Making-Off

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: I'm cold

Connie: Here have my jacket

Historia: I'm cold too

Ymir: What? [taking off jacket] I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen and now- [piling blankets on her] now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to death and [taking Mikasa's scarf] how long have you been cold? You should’ve said something sooner.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: I'm cold

Annie: Well what the heck do you want me to do? I don't control the goddam weather!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, looking at Bertholt: Hey, I'm cold t-

Bertholt : Look we both know we forgot our jackets at camp, don't even try.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: *scooting up on the same bench as Eren and cuddling against him* I'm cold too, Eren

Eren: Don't worry about it *goes to collect some wood, starts a bonfire and then finally sits down, on another bench than Mikasa*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: I'm cold.

Levi: And what do you want me to do? Set you on fire?

Hange: Ye-

Levi: Nevermind. Forget I said anything.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: What do we do when something goes wrong...?

Jean: Add to cart

Reiner: Cry

Gabi: Mood

Pieck: F in the chat

Armin: Not again!

Historia: Text my ex

Mikasa: Cut my hair

Connie: Shots!!

Falco: Thank you

Hange: Hoes mad

Annie: It's my horoscope

Commander Magath: Bottle it up

Zeke: Leave the country

Eren: Fistfight God

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I love the phrase "with all due respect", because it doesn't specify how much respect is actually due. Could be none. Bitch.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: Hey, it's your turn to wash the dishes.

Porco: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Marcel: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Mikasa, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels while carrying Eren with her other arm: WEAK.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Zeke, holding a magnifying glass: Scientifically experimented on without consent and disposed off as soon as I am no longer useful.

Pieck: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*The squad is having dinner together*

Historia: Mikasa, can you pass the salt?

Mikasa: *Throws Levi across the table*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Eren: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Mikasa: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ARMIN WITH ME

Levi, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Gabi: Is it me, Commander?

Commander Magath: No, it’s not you.

Annie: Is it me, Commander?

Commander Magath: It’s not you either.

Zeke: Is it me, Commander?

Commander Magath:

Commander Magath, mockingly: Is IT mE cOmmAndEr?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Can I be frank with you guys?

Gabi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Zofia: Can I still be Zofia?

Falco: Shh, let Commander Frank speak.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: SaSa LeLe

Reiner: It's Sale Sale

Gabi: 50% off + 50% off, it means it's 100% off, everything is free

Annie: You moron, 50% of 50% is 25% off

Commander Magath: Could you all PLEASE focus and not get distracted by a shop with a sign? Where's the guy we're tailing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie, laying on her bed: I've heard people say my name twice today, it's either ghosts or hallucinations

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, from behind the door: It's me outside. Do you want some muffins?

Annie: What kind?

Reiner: Zucchini, but it tastes like banana nut

Banannie: Bananas can nut?

Reiner: You know what? I'll keep my muffins.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck : Why does basil smell so fucking amazing?!

Zeke: Watch out for the brain scorpions though

Falco: It's the basil

Gabi: Yeah, can confirm, it's the basil that does it.

Pieck: Good points

Pieck: Wait what was that first thing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: *Holding a picture of Pieck* Have you seen this woman?

Hange: No, why? Is she missing?

Zeke: She's on vacation and I miss her

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, fighting Gabi: You know, out of all the children I've ever had fights to the death with, this is the weirdest one

Reiner: Dammit, Gabi, I told you the cat ears weren't hype anymore!

Sasha: These baddies getting weirder and weirder

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mr. Leonhart: Annie's at that very special age where a girl has only one thing on her mind

Commander Magath: Boys?

Annie: Homicide.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Moblit: Pro-tip: Keep a bunch of wrapped, empty boxes under the christmas tree. When a child misbehaves, throw one in the fireplace.

Hange: ...

Hange: What do I do when I run out of children?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: *sticking a paper that reads "naughty and disobedient children DO NOT FEED" on Falco and Gabi*

Zeke: If those kids could read they'd be very upset

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: *points at his shirt that reads "i rely on pharmaceutical drugs to perform routine tasks"*

Reiner: *turns around, showing the back that reads "and then i don't do them"*

Porco: Oh, is it "cry for help" time yet?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: What should I get from ihop?

Bertholt: Pancake mix

Annie: Sucked off

Porco: Killed

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I really want to kiss you

Pieck: What?

Zeke: i SAID if you died i wouldn't miss you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Oh come on Armin, I wasn't that drunk

Armin: Eren, you tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important

Eren, tearing up: But you are

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco, lowering his voice in an intimidating manner: Don't talk down to me!

Colt: Well, I can hardly talk up to you. You're too short.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Porco: *finishing remplacing Reiner's condiments with toothpaste* Don't tell Reiner about this?

Gabi: You want me to lie to Reiner?

Porco: Is that a problem?

Gabi: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: I have a bad feeling about this

Gabi: What do you mean?

Sasha: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Gabi: No?

Sasha: That... Explains so much actually

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi, bleeding out: Call me an ambulance.

Falco, leaning over her, panicking: You're an ambulance??!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Okay, okay, uh, you're losing a lot of blood, what's your type?

Gabi: Oh anything really but nerds especially

Reiner: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Gabi: *looks down* Uh. Red?

Falco: B positive

Reiner: LOOK I'M TRYING BUT SHE'S LITERALLY ABOUT TO DIE

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: *waking up in an unfamiliar bed* I love sleepovers

Porco: This isn't a sleepover, you're in the hospital

Gabi: Then why am I wearing this nightgown?

Porco: This is an hospital gown?

Gabi: Truth or dare?

Porco:

Porco: ...Dare

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: What happened?

Pieck: You were shot. Do you remember anything?

Gabi: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Falco: We didn't ride the ambulance

Gabi: Really? Then what was that loud siren?

Reiner: I was panicking, okay!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Don't worry, I'll be fine.

Reiner: Well you still were shot!!

Gabi: I've been shot before.

Reiner: It's not like you build up an immunity to bullets!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: You got three eggs

Annie: Yes

Reiner: I'll give you a cookie for them

Annie: Mmh. How good is the cookie?

Reiner: Well I don't know. I need the eggs to make the cookie

Annie: So you tricking me?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, to Eren: I'm trying to figure out a way to get rid of you so I can go commit atrocities

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Why is there always a law against everything I wanna do?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Hey Zeke, you know Marcel's throwing a party on the night of the new railroad inauguration

Zeke: Yeah, I've been arguing with Porco about this.

Pieck: Oh, he wants to go to the inauguration?

Zeke: No! Why would he want to-

Pieck: Oh sorry, YOU want to go to the inauguration?

Zeke: No! We've been arguing over who gets to go to Marcel's party with you

Pieck: Can't the three of us just go together?

Zeke: ... Good point

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: *squishes Gabi's face between two slices of bread* And what are you?

Gabi: An idiot sandwich :(

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I'm definitely the disappointment of the family but also the hottest so i can see why i got them pressed

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: I'm allergic to color.

Historia: Sounds like a "hue" problem

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses inside those walls. What can we live without?

Levi: Probably Eren Yaeger

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Flirt back goddamit

Annie: HOW

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: They're called leggings because u put ur le

Historia: U put ur leg

Historia: They're called leggings because

Connie: Take your time

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: If only I were kpop. Then you'd all see.

Colt: You're already popular and widely hated. What more do you want??

Zeke: Thanks for saying that

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia, crouched down in front of her plants, examining insect bites on the leaves: I’m going to kill whoever did this. I’m going to kill them for you. Don’t worry babies. I’m going to murder every single contemptible degenerate that ever got a mouthful of you. They’ll die screaming

Ymir, walking out of the house: Oh! Okay. You’re talking to the plants. Okay-

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Why did you go to sleep so late?

Mikasa, looking into the distance: There is no rest for the wicked

Jean:

Mikasa:

Historia: Cat videos. She stayed up to watch cat videos.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Could you be any more annoying... Lol

Sasha: Easily.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: I love it when you're drinking pineapple drinks and you can't feel your tongue and your entire face starts sweating, it's so cleansing.

Porco: Sounds like you're allergic to pineapples.

Gabi: Pineapples are supposed to taste like that.

Porco: Pretty sure you're allergic too.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

King Fritz: Bro stop chanting in dead languages you're scaring the hoes

Ymir Fritz: I'm summoning the hoes fool

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Long time no see, Galliard. I missed you.

Porco: I missed you too

*Both reload their pistols*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: I've got a nice little word exercise for you: GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.

Sasha: Tempting, but have you considered this little affirmation; No?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner:

Gabi to the McDonalds employee: He asked for no pickles!! Takes the pickles off or I'll make jello out of all your bones!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: I went to gay loser land and they said you're like a god to them

Reiner: Why did you go there?

Ymir: Anthropology

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Hello, people who do not live here!

Pieck: Hi!

Porco: Hello!

Reiner: I gave you a key for emergencies

Pieck: We were out of doritos

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: You know where I want to kiss you??

Zeke: On the lips?

Pieck: No.

Zeke: Neck?

Pieck: No.

Zeke: ██ █████🔞█████?

Pieck: No.

Zeke: Then where?

Pieck: In front of all our friends and family when we both say "I do"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Wait, is Captain Levi sleeping or dead?

Jean: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Eren: Yeah, so did I.

Levi: Okay first of all, fuck you two-

Eren and Jean:

𓀥    𓁆 𓀕

𓁆 𓀟   𓀣 𓁀

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Hange is cooking*

Levi: That's... An unusual sight. Since when do you cook?

Hange: This is for Erwin. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.

Levi: I never quite realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Right before the battle of Liberio*

Sasha: So you remember the plan if I ever get hurt during this battle, right?

Connie: Of course.

Sasha: Tell me.

Connie: In the case of you ever being shot, as you fall to the ground, I am to sing, "MMMM WHATCHA SAY" no matter the circumstances.

Sasha: Good.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: So, guy's old lady comes home, okay, finds him laid cold on the ground with half his head missing

Mikasa: Well, that sounds like there's a titan on the loose.

Hange: Maybe.

Mikasa: So, how does that make this our kind of thing?

Hange: Because, Mikasa, Eren's in the wind, okay, you're sulking around like a ennuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself, when is decapitation not my thing?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: rats are like... the rats of the world

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Gee, Zeke. I thought that someone with two wives would be happy.

Porco: Nah, you're thinking of someone with two knives

Gabi: *holding two knives*

Gabi: I gotta tell you, this is pretty terrific!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Reiner: Really? Name one law

Zeke: Don't kill people?

Reiner: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: In light of what you did for me, you may hug me for four to five seconds.

Historia: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!

Annie: NO! That's not what I-

Historia, running at her: Too late!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: *wearing a shirt that says "you are not immune to propaganda"*

Falco: *carrying a baseball bat labelled "propaganda"*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: here’s a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. you, smacking me with a broom. both of us are yelling

Levi:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: "i can fix him" "i can make him worse" im at the gas station yall want anything

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Admit that you made that whole story up!

Reiner: No!

Armin: You started that fight!

Reiner: You callin’ me a liar?

Armin: No but I ain't callin’ you a truther either!

Mikasa: Armin, stop being a coward. Call him a bitch to his face.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia, throwing her head into Ymir's lap: Tell me I’m pretty.

Ymir, lovingly stroking her hair: You’re pretty annoying, that’s what you are.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I like my coffee the same way I like my men

Mikasa: Dark, bitter, and too hot for me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: WHY IS THERE BLOOD EVERYWHERE?!

Zeke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife

Reiner: You stabbed someone??

Zeke: No, I just fucking said that I aggressively poked someone with a knife. There's a difference, Reiner!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, giving a talk at her 367th "how to woo Historia Reiss" talk of the year: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Ymir: Which one?! I can't do both!

Reiner: Is "I would betray my country for you" considered nice or too foward?

Eren: Try "Daaaaamn girl you looked hot when you were murdering your hideous centipede titan of a father" instead

Sasha, sternly: Eren. I don't want to do it but I'm going to ban you from the lessons if you keep that attitude going.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: *getting stabbed*

Eren, walking away: This is mine now

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Wow, you really are the smartest person I know!

Mikasa: You hang out with Sasha and Connie

Mikasa: It's not as high a compliment as you think

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Armin and Hange got kidnapped*

Hange: *Removing her handcuffs* You're lucky that I know how to get out of these.

Armin: Yeah, thank God you've been arrested enough times.

Hange: Hmm. Sure. Arrested.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: You know, when Pieck comes over, Zeke can get a little...

Annie: Psycho?

Colt: Scary?

Bertholt: Drunk?

Reiner: All three, actually

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*At a dinner party in Historia's palace but someone has just been murdered*

Detective Historia, to Hange: You're acting pretty carefree for someone whose life has just been threatened. Who's to say you're not the murderer?

Hange: It's a murder, not a tax audit. I'll be fine.

Reiner: What about Pieck? Nobody ever suspects Pieck!

Pieck: Well what about Sasha? She has a gun!

Sasha: And Connie has a knife!

Connie: Yeah, for fun, not murder! *stabs Reiner in the arm*

*Everybody screams*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Okay, so I think that was pretty clear in establishing we're all wussies and none of us did it

Detective Historia, taking a puff out of her pipe: Elementary, my dear Watson

Pieck: What?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Note that the "what should i get from the store" quote is, in fact, NOT the same one as in part 6. Neither is the gaz station one. I don't make mistakes, feeble mortals.

Find more of these here ! Also here's one of the incorrect quotes because it was particularly funny

[tobiasdrake]

This is so surreal. I am having trouble processing emotions right now.

Why would you think that?

How would you think that?

When were you involved enough in the planning of this to think that?

...

Hey, so, how are we going to explain to the people of Mooncradle why we and Garl popped over to the Celestial Willow and dug up Garl's grave?

Do. Share everything. At the very least tell it to Teaks and then she can explain it in a way that makes sense.

And now there's a cosmic wish involved, that is not you coming back to life?

GUYS. START EXPLAINING OR I'M GOING TO START HITTING PEOPLE. Serai, please move about six feet to your right because you have done nothing wrong but you are in the danger zone.

Do you know what it feels like to not have an ever-burning fire of vengeful fury raging inside of your heart every waking moment of your existence? Because I'd honestly forgotten.

I hope you get to experience it too soon.

You and me both, Serai. What kind of person blankets a planet in flesh monsters when you could be playing Wheels or something instead?

These guys are very smart, yet somehow not half as smart as they think they are. Everything has to be schemes and riddles and chess games and 35-step master plans. Just go have a fistfight or make out or something and leave everyone else out of it.

I'll take Garl's emotional intelligence over their extensive practical knowledge and sly trickery any day.

That's also not what happened to you and I'm still very confused by why the metaphysics are acting like it was. The Chrono Trigger homage is interfering with the plot.

It was already fully online and ready to go as soon as I walked up to--

I MEAN YES IT WAS A TON OF WORK AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL. And awed. Be awed by the extensive effort I put into it for you.

I accept tribute in the form of pancakes shaped like my face. T-T I've missed your vanity pancakes so much.

...you had... the cosmic forces from beyond life and death... make dinner reservations for you.

...

You know what, I can't even be mad. That is such a Garl way to use a reality-warping cosmic wish. There are so many other things I would do with a power like that, but you wouldn't be you if you didn't use it like this.

REVERSE FUNERAL For fuck's sake how are you the best?

OOOOOOOOO I know I know I know!

There's a big empty pond with no fish in it that has its own dedicated island. Pissed me off. Why dedicate a whole island to a pond with no fish in it? I bet we can use the hook there.

Why's it called Hook of Time, though? Are we going to, like... catch the Ghost of Fishing Past or something?

I... I think I caught... the statue sunken into the lake?

Yep, definitely the statue. How this connects to dinner at the Golden Pelican is beyond me. But the important thing for everyone to recognize is that I am now demonstrably the best angler who ever lived.

Okay, but it doesn't want to bite. Like, it aggressively ignores my--

...

Hang on. I might be an idiot.

I'm an idiot. This test is a trap for people who get distracted by fishing opportunities and I goddamn fell for it for five straight minutes.

Well played, mysterious ancient architects. Either Docarri or Ovates, probably.

That is definitely something you have to fish for.

With gusto.

...HI!?

You. Uh. You have a fishhook in your eyebrow. This might sound a little weird given the circumstances of our meeting but do you need help getting that out?

...this is...

This is where the owner of the Golden Pelican lives. That's what's... that's what's been in this lake this whole time.

Does everyone have to jump through these hoops to get a reservation? How swanky is the place? They said no to me twice and I'm... have you met me?

This better be the best dinner I've ever had in my life or I'm burning that place to the ground. And you should be warned: Courtesy of present company, the competition is steep.

[fanghuas]

first day as the ghost valley master

found this in my drafts, unfinished, and I don't have the motivation to complete it so yall can have it as is. if you don't know what this is referencing look up "second century warlord" you won't be disappointed

***

first day as the ghost valley master I kill the old valley master and show his decapitated head to my new subjects to inspire fear but I'm standing very high up on a hill and they're in the valley below so they can't see what I'm holding and kinda just squint at me

second day as the ghost valley master it turns out ruling the ghost valley sucks so I take my sister and go out in the jianghu to cause chaos and mayhem and get revenge, but my sister gets into a fistfight with a guy disguising himself as a beggar. I think he's sus so I decide to flirt with him and follow him around to uncover his motives

third day as the ghost valley master my minions attack the manor of one of the major sects to get back the piece of glazed armor I pretended to have had stolen from me. the sus beggar sees me at the scene of the crime but doesn't make a big deal out of it, so maybe he's an okay guy. the whole sect is killed except for the youngest son, who the sus beggar and I are now co-parenting. my sister laughs at me

fourth day as the ghost valley master we are taking the orphaned kid to his uncle and now I'm flirting with the sus beggar forreal. we get attacked by actual beggars who want the orphan for themselves and I let my sus beggar fight them off on his own so I can enjoy the sight. turns out he has an internal illness that fucks up his martial arts so he's understandably mad at me. I save the day at the last moment and destroy the actual beggars

fifth day as the ghost valley master my suspicions are confirmed. the sus beggar was wearing a disguise to conceal his identity and his ethereal beauty. turns out he's my old shixiong that I knew for like a day before I got kidnapped by the ghost valley and I'm not really sure how to cope with this. also we dropped the orphan off with his uncle and I kinda miss having a son. I tell my sister to sneak into the orphan's uncle's sect and keep an eye on him

sixth day as the ghost valley master my sus no-longer beggar and I are going on a bunch of dates and stumble upon a piece of the glazed armor. I'm ready to be disappointed, thinking he'll want it for himself just like everyone else, but instead he says it only brings trouble and gifts it to me to do whatever I want with it. what I really want to do with it is revenge, so I have thirty copies of it ordered and incite people to fight to death over them. my no-longer beggar confronts me, and I point to his own past crimes to show the hypocrisy of this. we break up and I leave to get plastered

seventh day as the ghost valley master after breaking up and making up a couple more times, my sus non-beggar bf and I are on the road again with our orphaned son who we kidnapped from his uncle. we meet a weird old guy who claims he can cure my sus non-beggar bf's illness, but it comes at the cost of his martial arts so my bf refuses and we fight about it. I wonder what the point is in achieving my goals and getting revenge if I'm going to lose the man I love

[sullustangin]

15 Questions for 15(ish) friends

(Definitely can't tag 15 because it seems tumblr doesn't let you tag more than a few people in a post these days, so heavy emphasis on the ish)

Tagged by @vexa-legacy (the turnaround for these things is less than a month now! I'm getting better!)

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE: Yes, my dad's caretaker when he was child with 2 working parents (day shift/night shift, so there was an in-between)

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED: Probably something related to my spawn rejecting me (I'm the working parent, yet mama. She doesn't like it when I go to work, gets mad, and takes it out on me by pushing me away while wanting me home and to be in my lap all the time at the same time. Toddlers are not geniuses.).

DO YOU HAVE KIDS: Indeed!

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED: I played softball in high school -- not well. Very Charlie Brown in that department.

DO YOU USE SARCASM: Sometimes. I teach, and I've noticed that students are less able to detect sarcasm, hyperbole, and even jokes. My job relies on clarity, so I'm very Spock with them -- the clever ones notice the snark, though.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE: Whether they make and maintain eye contact.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR? Brown with heterochromatic yellow rings.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings!

ANY TALENTS: I cook and bake well. It may not be the prettiest thing, but it's the tastiest thing. I also knit.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN: Eastern seaboard, USA

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES: sewing, knitting, baking, fan fic writing, reading academic stuff

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: 2 cats; one half-Siamese smoke black cat who thinks she's people and would fistfight God; and one technicolor calitabby who has one eye and is afraid of pistachios

HOW TALL ARE YOU: 5'4" -- my fan fic OC Eva is about the same height, but she compensates with lifts.

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: It used to be math up until junior year of high school. Then I latched onto the Middle Ages (whose denizens did hold math in high regard -- astronomy, geometry, arithmetic, and music get you closer to God)

DREAM JOB: It used to be a professor at a 4-year university with a nice research stipend, but higher ed has a reckoning about to hit over the next five years .... A job that would let me write and publish my academic book.

~~

tagging: @astrifer-bound ; @villainship ; @stars-ephemeral ; @wampawave ; @rustic-space-fiddle ; @queen-scribbles @shabre-legacy

[peony-pearl]

△ for Haruka: what is the most embarrassing thing to happen during a show?

And

What is something you are bad at?

Invasive Character Answers!

How much she wants to answer this: 3

Haruka rolls her eyes. "Dad asked me to perform for a group of his friends for someone's birthday. At first nothing seemed amiss. It was a nice, big party; good food, great crowd. Well, apparently, my dad had intended for his friend to pay like everyone else. Well; his friend thought the entertainment was a gift - because it was his birthday."

"So I'm playing the shamisen and singing, and the ruckus just builds; I've learned by now to keep performing when there are drunks and hoodlums, so I know how to keep going while surveying the crowd. I see my father completely engrossed in a fistfight with his friend. I try to deviate my attention, because as I'm watching, so does the crowd. But even as I try to keep going, I can't sing over the screaming. So I just stop as we all watch the fight."

Haruka snorts. "Dad had insisted I keep playing; but I didn't. The crowd began shouting at them to take it outside, so I pushed them out of the home and earthbent a slab at the front door and continued the set," she smiles, taking a drag from her pipe. "Dad didn't get paid and the friend never invited me back because of my 'poor behavior'; but we never had an issue like that again. I did, however, get us more patrons after my handling of their argument, so I can't complain. Thankfully, after that, mom took over the finances to ensure we didn't have another hiccup like that again."

How much she wants to answer this: 2

Haruka laughs. "Puzzles! I am terrible at puzzles! Don't ask me a riddle, don't give me a puzzle block, I'll just walk away and not bother. And bless Iroh's soul; he's tried so hard to teach me Pai Sho. But I just can't get it. It's all gibberish and nonsense; but when I'm feeling extra cheeky I'll play along with him just so I can mess up the game," she giggles. "He gets SO mad but he won't show it. I'll bat my eyes and ask him what I should do on my next turn; and when he coaches me on what I should do, I'll do the complete opposite and put everyone in a stalemate! The way he has to stop and breathe never fails to be funny. I love his patience; and I hope he knows it; but sometimes seeing that old dragon contain that fire and fury I've seen burst out of him is... I don't know. It reminds me that I'm safe with him. I always have been; but when he just lets me be an imp in the ways I've never been able to, and he lets me laugh and smile... I love him. But that doesn't mean I'll go easy on him," she smiles wistfully; thinking about her beloved old general, who is somewhere out at sea with his nephew.

[back2bluesidex]

I apologize for the madness that's about to be unleashed.

Here is my live reaction read for "Like Crazy" :D

"It all started as a bet"

"Jimin hyung’s charms” Jungkook smirked." the kid needs walloping (-_-) who asked him to be THIS problematic?? Unprompted???

Taehyung groans as if he is very much disappointed with the younger’s advances, “Jungkook, are you a dick head?" THANK YO- "Is that even a reasonable bet? Jimin can fuck her tomorrow if he wants.” Now it’s the time when Jimin smirks." fuck the three of them (-_-) they're literally the worst

“She’s pretty but the question is… is she easy?”

"For the next twenty days Jimin kept on following you everywhere you went. He totally enjoyed the shocked expression your face would produce every single time you crossed paths with him." when he's a stalker 🥵👌💦💋

"What would they say if they knew a girl from nowhere had been shaking off Park Jimin’s advances." men ☕ wHO DOES HE THINK HE IS

"So Jimin doesn’t miss the chance when you try to get away from the annoying guy." he should look in the mirror more (-_-)

"As soon as your bodies touch, he got to inhale your scent and fuck you smell spicy." spicy?? miss madam had a bit of a jerk chicken? (T-T)

"It was a daydream but seeing it taking the shape of reality is completely different." right?! like you sit and think in your head how wonderful would it be for something to happen and then when it does you're like "no thank you"

oN THE CAR?! Like heathens?!

so he's p*nty sniffing now? ok joe goldberg go off 🙄

he put THAT in her MOUTH? y'all need jesus

"Now who are you to deny Park Jimin?" queer and annoyed (-_-) is who I am, this man needs to be HUMBLED

anyway, happy to see the sequel is out, I'm going to fistfight this Jimin next to a trashcan 🥰

Okay sooo......

I am spell bound.....

The live reaction is better than the story itself... Dang! I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed writing the story. 🔥

And about Jimin... 🌚

Lemme tell you that Jimin's character is actually a bit cocky, a little self-obsessed and a tad bit spoilt. Sooooooo..... Yeahhhh.... He needs to be humbled........ He will be humbled him if I continue this as a series. Let's see...

Also, thank you sooooo much for reading my stories and taking your time to send me this ask. It makes me sooooo damn happy. 😭💜

[grizzlyofthesea]

Mushy Personal Emotion Turtles

So, as you can tell, I absolutely adore the Rise iterations of the turtles and April. I'd like to take this time to expound on just how much they mean to me, though.

The Mad Dogs' significance to me ties into my sibling relationships. I only have one biological brother, but I could make a case for there being two sibling figures in my life--my brother, and one of my cousins who may as well have been an older sister to me. My histories with both of them are rocky.

My brother has been part of my life for as long as I can remember; he's only a year younger than me. I've spent nearly all that time bickering with him and sometimes getting into more intense fights. It was at its worst when he was about 10 to 16 years old, so when I was about 11 to 17. We're doing better now. I think we've learned to appreciate each other's company more since we've both gone off to college. But having such a negative force in my life for so long was...not fun, to say the least.

Then there's my cousin. We used to play together all the time. When we were old enough to set up our own email addresses, we emailed each other basically all day, every day. It was fun at first, but something turned our relationship toxic. I'm still not quite sure what the catalyst was. She cut off contact with me after a particularly brutal argument, and I did not cope with it well at the time. At all. This happened during an already difficult time in my life, so I was a total mess. I'm doing better now, but it's not perfect. Family gatherings where I see her are still awkward even though this happened several years ago. I want things to go back to how they were, even though I know it was terrible for my mental health. It's awful. Every time I think I'm over it, I break down crying whenever the topic comes up.

In summary, even though I've always had at least one sibling figure present in my life, my relationships with them have almost always had some sort of strain on them.

This is where the turtles come in.

Seeing the turtles just...be brothers, with April as basically their sister, really struck a chord with me. I really wanted that in my life. For once, I just wanted to have a nice, normal, relaxed sibling relationship. Do they have silly arguments sometimes? Yeah. Do they have some major disagreements? Of course. But they always stand up for each other in the end. They never get into fistfights with the intent to seriously hurt each other. They never intentionally ignore each other's achievements. They love each other to the core.

I started joking with my friends that I'd "adopted" the turtles and April as my siblings, but then I decided to take it just a bit further. For fun, I did some tarot readings to determine what my relationships with them would be if they were my siblings.

First, I checked to see if they'd even accept me as a sibling. My deck has you draw three cards for a yes or no reading; the answer depends on how many "no" cards you draw. All three cards I drew indicated "yes." :)

Then, I drew individual cards for each unique sibling bond.

April: Queen of Swords

Indicates strength and resilience. I took this to mean a close, trusting bond.

Raph: Three of Cups

Represents comfort and fun. I feel like he'd be my "big little brother," protecting me just like the others even though I'm older than him.

Leo: The Hanged Man

Symbolizes uncertainty and limbo. It isn't a lost cause, but there would be the least trust between us.

Donnie: Seven of Pentacles

Stands for dedication and potential. We'd be loyal as all heck to each other, and we may even enble each other to excel.

Mikey: Nine of Cups

Represents support and love. We'd hang out a lot and get each other through tough times.

Are any of you weirdos like me who get way too attached to fictional characters? (I mean that in the kindest way possible.) Feel free to share your thoughts.

Thank you for coming to my Turtle Talk.

[gendzl]

get to know me better tag meme

I was tagged by @rhysiana! 💛

rules: answer all the questions, then tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

three ships: Nick Carraway/Jay Gatsby, Herc/Raleigh, Luke/Bodhi.

first ship: Drarry! I didn't even know what shipping was at the time lol.

last song i listened to: I've got Yo-Yo Ma's cello suites playing right now.

last movie i watched: Atonement 😭 the cinnamontography......

currently reading: The Pink Triangle: The Nazi War Against Homosexuals by Richard Plant. I'm rereading The Handmaid's Tale. I've got another essay collection on Gatsby that I'm working thru as well. Aaaaand The Silver Chair, for book club (I want to fistfight C.S. Lewis).

currently watching: Uhm, nothing? I picked up a few movies from the library (Brideshead Revisited, which I haven't seen before, and Mad Max: Fury Road, which I have), but I'm not in the middle of any shows right now. For once.

currently consuming: Fanfic. Water.

currently craving: Adequate painkillers for the migraine I developed this afternoon.

tagging: anybody who wants to do this, you can say I tagged you. anyone who hates these, you can be glad I didn't.

[rake-rake]

@kuraikyu

“  i know you’re mad at me right now,  but i’m the one who’s here.  let me be here.  let me help.  you can be angry later.  ” — @ Toru

Soft angst prompts.

"Is that so?"

Hunched as they are over themself, it's hard to see their face, but the contour of a small smile can be barely made. Something sad and resigned, that conveys no happiness at all but a overwhelming sense of defeat.

"Thing is, Suguru, I would have given anything to hear those words a year ago, they were the one thing I needed. But now? They're as good as worthless. You're here, yeah; you seem to have a thing for showing up where you're not wanted, when you're not wanted. But you're late. I don't need help, and I don't need you. Not anymore."

Leaning down, they pull off their heels and kick them away, before slowly start to pull down of their thighs as well. Or at least, that was the idea. It takes only a second to realize the fabric is ripped beyond salvation, and Satoru quickly decides to just rip it off their legs with their fingernails, leaving long red marks all over their skin.

"Honestly, why are you truly here? I thought that black heart of yours had already withered, or am I really such the pitiful picture? To manage to even make you feel something... I must look terrible... my make up is all ruined..."

Just remembering now, they retrieve a small mirror from their bag, placing it before their face to try and fix the smeared lipstick, red stains all around their mouth and a few drops over their cheek as well. Except, those particular few ones are of a darker and thicker shade.

"Truth be told, I'm not feeling like doing this today, I've had quite the shitty day. Got into a fistfight with an asshole, broke a heel, tore my tights, got fired by the same asshole... Well, guess that's just adult life. Now, do you mind? I have only a few hours before the children wake up and I still need to shower, dress up, and make breakfast before taking them to school. Heaven, no wonder my mother died on me and my father neglected me, being a parent is hard."

[finsterhund]

Listen if I was in the Skinamarink house I'd just infodump about Mayhem Mountain constantly while playing HoD or whatever the fuck. rip to Kevin and whatever his sister's name was but I'm different.

I literally spend my life thirsting after wanting to own "big old spooky old house with analog media and toys and shit everywhere with no parents" this is the fucking experience here. (Okay maybe I also want parental figures too but I need to be at least somewhat realistic. I'm not ever getting that. But if this stupid housing industry crashes and burns I can get a house someday. I fucking want a house. I would kill to get a house. Etc.)

Every time I hear about people abandoning houses and not wanting to live in haunted houses I'm like "you stupid assholes are rich enough to be picky about a fucking house you own. Give it to me you fuckers I will eat a demon and fistfight a ghost and the only thing haunting it will be me and my demonic little boy taken by the consumption ass vibes." (Please don't mention that I'm scared of New England the east coast is cursed and evil also if we're being honest if I got a cool carpenter gothic or whatever the fuck house for free there I would bite the bullet and go there because you know what fuck it free house. Worst case scenario I find a way to straight up take the house somewhere else.)

There are so many houses left to rot by my grandparents house. That's a thing there. It's been a thing for a hundred years or so and it pisses me off. The beloved town my cousins used to live where I visited like once and never wanted to fucking leave and it had a little swimming pool is almost a ghost town now. Apparently they lost their grain elevator in a fire and I don't even know if that rumor is true or not but I legit fucking had a weeping fit about that somewhere last week idk my brain was soup and all I remember from then was that I ground my jaw so bad it locked up. There's so many fucking houses abandoned in the plains. I would live in all those houses. Give me the fucking houses. I will live in a fucking grain elevator that was turned into a house. Fuck you.

Everyone always bitches about being in the middle of nowhere but if there's fucking electricity and plumbing and internet (yeah there is now. Suck on that assholes) and roads what's the fucking problem you big fucking baby. Getting a driver's license is probably possible for me in that province because nobody gives a shit. If I fucking own a house and fucking land I don't give a fuck if I have to drive to get to stores and shit I have a fucking attention span and patience when I fucking want to. Asshole. Also pretty sure people can have small private planes and fly them there. You certainly have enough space for takeoff and landing. Can you fucking imagine even having small paraglider personal flying devices and shit you could do that there.

There's shit called paramotors please look at this fucking shit please look at it. I could have this. Fuck you.

https://youtu.be/rvQ9DjJNal0

I am fucking screaming in emotional anguish agony pain. This is for me. This is what my life should be. In a house. Windows XP wallpaper ass land. Paramotor trips into idk swiftcurrent or whatever. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. Screaming crying throwing up. It's not fair.

Apparently Canada treats paramotor like ultralight aircraft need permit and stuff but there's a guy who's been doing just fine without one. Fuck the government.

Want paramotor so bad. Screaming crying throwing up.

Anyways yeah. So mad. So sad. Miserable.

It's perfect in every fucking way. My fucking body craves the steppe. Did you know why I fucking ended up always loving the goddamn windows XP desktop background Naboo ass aesthetic? It's because it's literally my fucking blood I was fucking born for there. I'm literally fucking homesick I want to fucking cry. It literally fucking looks like that there. I am screaming. If my fucking mother didn't fucking take me back from my grandparents. I am going to fucking scream. (I would have never experienced the CSA from my birth father either) am going to fucking commit die.

I have manic obsessions over the extended family houses I barely fucking remember from childhood visits. Hell, even the Spot house. And that was a place with my stupid fucking birth father in the stupid fucking childhood costal city.

I would take the Spot house and move it to the steppe. Most of the houses in the near ghost town my cousins used to live look like the Spot house. Screaming.

I am filled with the utmost of hatred and grief and wrath. I do not resent my mother more for this because she was taken advantage of by that fucking demon too and I know every day she regrets leaving her parents too. But she doesn't fucking want to go back she loves that shitty fucking place she's in now I just don't understand that. She's like the people who left the houses. She thinks winter is cold. I don't understand.

You have no idea how much I want a fucking house and my preference is literally 1900s-1970s construction. So shut the fuck about things being old and outdated I literally fucking want that. Bitch give it to me. I am no longer asking. 🗡️🗡️🗡️ I will put the knife in your eye

I found a scary story the other day where a guy got an old magic key that when he opened his closet with it the closet lead to some cool old hidden secret castle room or whatever the fuck with a bunch of neat antique shit and instead of living there he fucking plundered it all like a stupid little bitch. I was so mad. This also ended up getting his ass because he kept finding doors and doors to do this to just to steal all the cool shit just to sell it and eventually he let out a monster because he was such a stupid little moron.

Am I rambling? Yeah but I don't care. I'm actually conscious and awake and functional right now. It's not even noon yet and I've taken all my meds. I am actually awake and not tired right now for some fucking reason and of course immediately the mania starts.

I am just explosive right now. Oh my god. You know I'm so apathetic and tired and exhausted and have no drive or energy or anything anymore but I have so fuckibg much for my goddamn house quest my fucking dream.

Could make my own grassland city state. Landback sovereign citizen shit. Get army of friends to all bring back the almost dead town and it's ours now and we rebuild the grain elevator and reopen the pool and shit.

This is my dream and what I want. I want to achieve it through violence.

(if I'm being completely honest if I got all this I don't even think I'd NEED there to be internet at that point. Everyone always brings up internet but so much of the internet for me is a surrogate for one thing or another.) If I could have my friends with me I would not need to use the internet to be with them for example.

I apologize if I appear to be crazy (I actually am lol and sometimes I get really fucking tired of presenting myself in respectable coherent ways. I tire of masking for the benefit and comfort of others. Of hiding my mental illnesses at every turn because of you domestics thinking that anything short of tame subservience is dangerous and that aggression and violence are unbecoming of the human nature. When in reality it is us with "dangerous" mental disabilities who are the primary victims of violence and harm for being the way we are.) but I really can't fucking take this anymore. I am a member of a species meant to live off the land and wander and have big space to call your own and exist within the natural world and not live in a tiny little box. Life in captivity has both made me weak and pitiful and violently explosive wanting to be reborn as I was meant to be. I'm at that point where you know what? I can import my medicine in bulk. I can have it delivered to me. If I can't then I fucking should. And if I need a hospital but do not make it in time then this is nature. I should not be scared I should not live in captivity because of death because of disability because captivity is worse than a natural death. I am sick of living as a domesticated shell of how I should be.

I fear change. I fear it so badly. But I have been tricked into fearing the small changes when in reality I need to learn that what is truly harming me is that gradual change that put me into this environment. It is scary to move and to leave behind these places like where I live now and the things that have become routine but that is not the big picture. This is the comfort of domestication and is a trick. It is my attachment to the tiny little white room where I live even though with time I would not miss it in comparison to the love in my heart for the new life of the big house. The uncertainty of change is clouding the judgement and I am a fucking coward.

I fear rejection from the domestics and their stupid world even though I resent it. This is a survival instinct warped by trauma. To mask and roll over and submit for fear of being hit. To play nice so that they do not take my tiny white room because it is all I have. Because they have made it so. My safety in this environment is dependant on them. When it shouldn't be. This is in a way a form of grooming that I have yet to overcome.

I do not know how to overcome it. I suppose acknowledging this is a first step.

Andy want house.

[college-girl199328]

Real-life Celebrity Grinches. Stars who DESPISE Christmas

"It’s the most wonderful time of the year"… to some people, but not according to these celebs, who won’t be "driving home for Christmas" as they would much rather see the Grinch steal it instead. Dashing through the North Pole, discover the real-life star Scrooges who would rather not be Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree…

Lady Gaga

The "Bad Romance" singer caused a scene back in 2010 when she bit the head of a stuffed Santa! Pulling the stunt on stage at The O2 in London, she told her fans she has mixed feelings about Christmas, saying: "I do like Christmas, but for those of you who are feeling lonely this Christmas, I hate Christmas!" I'm alone and miserable! Anyway, now that I've killed Santa, what am I going to do with all of you?"

Hugh Grant

In an ironic twist of fate, Hugh Grant, the star of the Christmas classic "Love Actually," has admitted he is not a fan of the holiday season. Hugh often arranges a vacation abroad to avoid the festivities in the UK. Speaking to the Daily Mirror newspaper, he said: "The last few years, I have taken Dad to a Muslim country to escape it completely." "We both hate Christmas."

Colin Firth

"It’s hard to distinguish between Collin and his character Scrooge because, according to the Firth festive songs, they make him mad," says the star of "A Christmas Carol." He said, ”I think Christmas turns us all into Scrooge." "Everyone is trying to throw happy stuff at you, and that’s when I come over all humbug.”

The French actress admitted that, from a young age, she did not want to receive any presents and would argue with her mother, who couldn’t stand seeing her daughter be the only child without presents under the tree. Speaking to Kelly Ripa in 2016, Marion shared: "From a very young age, I remember fighting with my mom because I didn't want to get presents." She was very mad at me, and it was a fight every year because she couldn't stand having me among the kids without a present. And I was like, "I'm fine; I don't need anything; I don't want it."

As a man who is not shy about voicing his grievances about things he doesn't like, it is probably no shock that Noel Gallagher is not full of the festive spirit. Describing Christmas as a "stain on society," Noel ranted: "Too much food, too much "We Are The World," the sweaters, the TV presenters, the adverts, the weather." Noel, of course, did financially benefit when his Oasis song "Half The World Away" was chosen by major British retailer John Lewis to feature in their 2015 Christmas advertising campaign.

You might be surprised to learn that the man who organized the 1984 Band-Aid charity single "Do They Know It's Christmas?" dislikes the holiday season. And that's because he can't go anywhere during December without hearing the song, which was a No. 1 hit and raised millions for Ethiopian famine victims. Geldof said, "I am responsible for two of the worst songs in history." One is "Do They Know It's Christmas?" and the other is "We Are The World." "I will go to the supermarket, head to the meat counter, and it will be playing." Every Christmas!

The "Friends" star is still haunted by the ghost of Christmas past as she recalls having to endure a humiliating festive tradition as a child. Speaking to Entertainment Weekly in 2016, she said, “When I was a kid, they used to make my belly dance." On Christmas Eve, my dad’s whole side of the family is Greek, so I would dress up as a little Greek girl, and then on Christmas, after taking belly-dancing classes, I would do that. It had nothing to do with Christmas, even. It was just, "Let’s humiliate Jen on Christmas."

The "Midnight Sky" legend, who as a young Disney starlet covered Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and more recently performed Wham!'s "Last Christmas"

for an Amazon Music event in 2020, spoke about her chaotic family Christmases on the KISS Breakfast Show, saying that her holiday get-togethers always end in “fistfights” and door slamming. She said: "I mean, we're all kind of conspiracy theorists, and I remember one year we got onto the topic of, like, aliens, and it ended with my brothers not talking for a week and my mom crying."

"Spectre" star Christopher Waltz doesn't like Christmas because he believes that the holiday has been taken over by commercialism, which "comes to its unbearable peak over Christmas." When asked what his biggest festive wish is, he said, "No Christmas… That's my biggest wish: no Christmas.

Despite releasing the very successful "Merry Christmas, Baby" album back in 2012, Sir Rod Stewart is not full of Yule Tide joy. His wife Penny Lancaster Stewart revealed on the UK TV show "Loose Women" that she dresses up as Mrs. Santa Claus each year in a bid to cheer up her Scrooge husband. She spilled: "Rod doesn't love Christmas. He can't wait till the decorations are down and his house is back to normal. Just to lift his mood, I put a little Father Christmas suit on.

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

I saw your recent post about jkrowling stuff... Does it really make sense to completely cancel the entire HP franchise because the author supports female women's independent rights, separate from transgendered folks and their personal struggle?

Why do transgendered folks have so much power? Gay people still don't. It's because they're trans women a.k.a MEN. It's WHITE MEN exerting their privilege, power, and control, over you and everyone like you. Just by wearing lipstick. Please girl, wake up! <3

So, I'm going to start with a disclaimer that I'm a little stoned, so pardon me if I ramble. There's... just so much to unpack here. So many very bad ideas and stupid trash ideology, it honestly fucking disgusts me. It's like unpacking a suitcase full of day-old turds, broken glass, and dead frogs. Trans women are women, and trans men are men! Gender is a bullshit social construct, and it is truly that simple!!! It costs you literally nothing to leave other people the fuck alone and let them try to find happiness however they can in this increasingly fucked up world! Which is why it's so fucked up that someone with as much power and influence as jkr would use that power to actively campaign against the rights of trans individuals, as well as plenty of other terrible decisions. So fuck yeah! Cancel HP forever, who cares, see if I give a shit. And take all of her money and give it to organizations that fight for the rights of trans individuals, just for fun.

And yes, gay people have it rough too! How is trying to pit their plight against the plight of another marginalized group helping anyone?? Can't we just agree that people should be allowed to live their lives in a way that makes them happy, as long as they aren't hurting anybody else by doing so?

Also, trans folks of many ethnicities exist?? Not just "WHITE MEN". Or are you suggesting that only white people can't actually be trans? A fascinating concept, to be sure. And what power are they exerting over me, exactly? The power make me leave people alone and let them live their lives in peace, as whatever gender feels the most comfortable to them? The power to make me question the actions of a shitty author, who goes out of her way to do shitty things?

Also!!!

So, honestly, I have no interest in anything you have to say. Please unfollow me, and then walk into traffic. If you've been on my blog for any amount of time, I would have hoped to have made it clear by now that any ideology in line with yours sickens me and there's no place for it here. Go ahead and suck my farts, choke, and die 😘