#now I’ve gotten so attached to this phone so it feels wrong to let it go

[therandomhalfrussian]

Polls on tumblr is the worst thing ever for me; just because my phone is too old to update tumblr. It’s the same in a lot of things actually, I don’t think I have any new updates on any apps I know... Some apps I can’t even download (*ahem* twitter) and I’ve come to realise that maybbeeee I need a new phone.

The thing is that my current phone still works properly. The screen is still whole and the sound quality is still good. Yes it kicks me out of apps if I use the app for longer than 15 minutes, yes it freezes randomly for minutes at a time, yes sometimes the side buttons don’t work but it still works??? Newer phones are so fragile too!

I can still do what I need to do so it feels like such a waste to buy a new one? Anyone else have this problem with stuff?

[ahhnini]

kaleidoscope - rafe cameron x reader

warnings - angst, angst, angst

synopsis - rafe and reader were inseparable. that is, until reader confessed her feelings. years pass, the two are no contact. but as it turns out, reader had been talking to him all this time, on a platform she never expected.

rafe cameron x tumblr!user reader

wc - 1.4k

a/n - i apologize if the formatting is a bit messy, i tried to have both of their perspectives.

your heart shattered as rafe ignored your words. you’d messed up everything. what you thought were signs of interest had just been signs of him being friendly to you. that’s all you were to rafe. a friend. so here you were, in the school hallway, sitting down on the floor, eating lunch all by yourself. you’d muffle your sniffles, trying to ignore the stares from everyone passing by, texting your mom to pick you up early from school. as soon as you’d gotten home, you immediately ran to your desktop, ranting about how “boys are stupid” and how you hate being melodramatic to your tumblr blog.

you scoff as you see rafe’s arm around sofia. it’s funny, knowing she’ll be dumped the next month. having just celebrated your sweet sixteenth, you were now old enough to have an island club membership of your own, and that’s where you’d been spending most of your time these days. you stretch your arms outwards, before opening your laptop, logging into the tumblr website. you had gained a pretty sufficient following, and you can’t help but smile at all the people interacting with your blog. huh, that’s weird. there’s someone new trying to message you. it was from one of your longtime followers. opening it, you smile at the kind message.

Hey, I’ve been following your blog since you started, and I’ve been here every step of the way. It’s been so nice seeing you grow.

little did you know that this message would create a long lasting friendship.

another night, another party at the cameron house. you weren’t invited, of course. rafe was throwing it. but to be honest, even if sarah was gonna host, you weren’t gonna show up either way. seeing the strobe lights dance around the estate, you close your curtains, making your way to your bed. you bring your laptop close to you, opening it up to your last tab open, tumblr.

going right to your direct messages, you click your most recent one, a friend you’ve made who liked to be called R. he still hasn’t replied to your message. sighing, you exit out of the chat and check on your page, making a quick new post. you browse the site for a couple more minutes, liking and reblogging, before opening up another tab for netflix, falling asleep to a random show.

the morning sun wakes you up. immediately searching for your phone, you check your notifications, smiling when you see R’s username pop up.

Hey, was busy last night, i’ll make it up to you :)

your smile widens, and you quickly reply,

dw about it!! <3

across the street, rafe’s phone lights up.

you’re awake, he’s hungover. he let out a soft groan, squinting his eyes.

you send another message,

gonna get ready for the day!! + one attachment

even though his head was pounding, he sat up, opening the selfie you sent him.

after that first message all those years back, you and R instantly clicked. even if it had been through the screen, the connection felt…magical. now that you were both nineteen, you’ve realized that you’d grown up with him.

putting your shades on, you lay on the couch of your yacht. all of your friends were busy; you didn’t have anything else better to do. you close your eyes, letting the warmth of the sun be your blanket.

you feel his arms wrap around you, you see his smile, bright and inviting. he kisses your lips, whispering your name. your eyebrows furrow, something was wrong. you push him away, suddenly becoming self aware. rafe didn’t love you, this was a dream. why were you dreaming about him?

you wake up, wiping a tear that fell down your eye. shaking your head, you go to the mini fridge, sipping on a cup of water. you hate to admit it, but you’d been thinking of rafe more often than you’d like. he probably hasn’t thought about you in years; probably forgetting that you existed.

after spending a couple more hours in the sun, you decided to go to the wreck for a quick snack. you ordered your favorite; a chicken sandwich with a chocolate milkshake. sitting down in one of the booths, you open your phone, seeing that R replied to you.

Beautiful, as always.

your cheeks grow slightly red at the compliment. he’d do this often, texting you compliments whenever you’d sent a photo of yourself. it started after you’d posted a rant to your dash about your low self esteem, R doing anything he could to bring your spirits up, even if it had been over the internet. then, when you self-reflected and started growing your confidence, you’d started sending pictures of yourself to him. he’d never send you anything back, though. which bummed you out at first, but you respected his decision.

you two had been planning to meet up for a while, but R was always dismissive with you when you’d ask. a part of you was terrified that you’d been talking to a creepy middle aged man all this time, but those thoughts dwindled away as you got to know each other more. sipping on your milkshake, you decide to follow your impulses, wanting to meet up with the mysterious R as soon as possible.

ik this is kind of random but when do u wanna meet up? we both live in nc so we could meet up in a city somewhere?

shit. rafe was not expecting that. his palms began to sweat, quick fingers moving across his phone screen.

It’s too soon, don’t you think?

no, not at all! we’ve been planning this for months now, all we need is a city and date.

rafe took a deep breath, feeling his headache get worse. deciding to bite the bullet, he replies,

Okay, what about saturday? We could meet up in Raleigh.

sounds good! what time?

Around 11:00 AM work for you?

perfect, so excited to see you, R! <3

fuck. shit. he stood up from the stool he’d been sitting on, running his hands along his head. his breathing quickened as he paced along the kitchen, wondering how he was supposed to face you again.

saturday rolls around quicker than you expected. you were on a ferry, headed to the mainland to meet R. you carried pepper spray just in case he did turn out to be a creepy middle aged man, can never be too safe.

he can see you, sitting down on one of the ferry benches, fidgeting on your phone. he felt like a creep, watching you. god, he wanted to jump into the ocean right now.

after confirming the plans, you both agreed to meet up in a popular restaurant in the middle of town. you’d gotten there a little early, reserving a table for the both of you. you tapped your foot anxiously, looking at all the decor. you were so nervous that you didn’t even realize you heard the chair across from you move, looking up when you heard a deep voice say, “hey, y/n.”

what the fuck.

“r-rafe?!” you whisper-shout, suddenly standing up from your chair. his eyes widen, everyone around the restaurant looking at you two. suddenly becoming embarrassed, you sink down into your seat, looking at your former friend, in shock. “you need to explain. now.” he nods, licking his lips before speaking, “it was stupid. after you confessed freshman year I’d been going through some shit with my dad and I couldn’t handle a relationship yet. so I ghosted you. and everyone else after that,” he scratched the back of his neck, “I should’ve told you right away. you were my best friend, y/n. after everything got sorted out I wanted to talk to you again, but it was too soon. I remembered you made me follow your tumblr account back in middle school, so I looked through your profile, and I felt so bad, knowing I hurt you. it haunted me for years,” he lets out a bitter chuckle, “it took balls for me to message you on there, I was so scared you were gonna find out and block me. but you didn’t. so I kept talking to you…and now we’re here.” he finishes his monologue, playing with the napkin on the table.

“rafe…I don’t know what to say…” you respond, throat becoming dry. he grabs your hands from across the table, gently squeezing them. “you don’t have to say anything. if you don’t wanna continue what we have, that’s fine. at least now you know the truth.”

“so, you were the one giving me those compliments?”

“of course.”

“and you weren’t bullshitting this whole time?”

“why would I? i’ve always found you stunning.”

your ears grow red, pulling your hands away from his.

“I…I need some time. this is all too much,” you stand up again, rushing out of the restaurant, rafe’s calls falling deaf to your ears.

thank you to my irl @vannbao for helping me with this (and feeding into my delusions)!!

taglist - @nemesyaaa @julie123456897 @mfdoomdickrider @grxnde-dwt @maybankslover @dreamygirli3

[lowaltitude]

Dial Tone 4 | Matt Rempe

- NHL, New York Rangers - x Reader

❪ FEM! ❫

───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────

𖥻 Matthew Rempe x FEM!reader, in which a wrong number friendship is more than you'd hope for. OR he falls first, he falls hard, he's NYC's biggest enforcer.

𖥻 PART ONE HERE. PART TWO HERE. PART THREE HERE. 3.4k words

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

The reality of everything started to settle in. I’d been so caught up in the whirlwind of emotions, from surprise to anger to cautious reconciliation, that I hadn’t fully considered what came next.

Sooner or later, I’d have to tell Matt my name. My real name.

The thought sent a ripple of unease through me. Would it change things between us? Up until now, our friendship—our whatever-this-was—had existed in this weird, nickname-protected bubble. “Manhattan” and “San Diego” were fun, safe, and detached from the weight of real identities. Stripping that away felt… vulnerable.

What if things got awkward? What if he thought less of me somehow? What if putting a name to who I was made everything feel too serious?

I chewed on my lip, glancing at my phone. I stared at the screen for what felt like forever, my thumb hovering over the keyboard. Finally, I typed a single word and hit send.

Thursday, May 30, 2024 Today, 9:55AM ME: Y/N.

The message sent, and I felt my pulse quicken. Before I could overthink it, I followed up with another.

ME: Y/N Y/L/N.

I stared at the messages, anxiety bubbling up in my chest. Would he say anything? Would it even matter to him?

A few seconds passed, then my phone buzzed.

MATT: Well, Y/N Y/L/N… it’s nice to finally meet you. 😊

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, staring at his response. It was simple—lighthearted, even—but it melted away some of the tension I’d been carrying since I pressed send.

ME: You don’t think it’s weird? MATT: What? Knowing your name? Definitely not. ME: It changes everything, doesn’t it? MATT: Only in the best way.

His words made me pause. I hadn’t expected him to say that, and the knot of worry in my chest started to loosen.

MATT: I don’t know what you thought would happen, but it’s not like I suddenly see you differently. MATT: You’re still San Diego to me. Just now I can call you Y/N and actually picture you saying, “Hi, Matt.”

I laughed softly, earning a curious glance from my seatmate. I turned back to my phone.

ME: I’ll have you know I say “Hi, Manhattan” with way more charm.

His reply was instant.

MATT: Prove it.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop smiling.

The bus pulled into the airport terminal, the cityscape shrinking behind us as we piled off to grab our bags. The reality of leaving New York hit me all over again. As much as I’d needed this trip to end, the thought of putting an ocean of distance between us now felt strange.

As I waited for my bag to come off the bus, my phone buzzed again.

MATT: Hey, Y/N. MATT: I mean it. I’m glad you told me.

Something about seeing my name next to his words gave me a strange, fluttery feeling.

ME: I’m glad I did too. MATT: So, now that I finally know your name, does this mean I don’t have to call you San Diego anymore? ME: I mean, you could stop… but wouldn’t that ruin the fun? MATT: You make a good point. Besides, I’ve gotten kind of attached to it.

I smiled at his response, shifting my bag on my shoulder as we filed into the terminal.

ME: So I’m still San Diego, huh? MATT: Always.

I hesitated, my fingers hovering over the screen. After all this, it still felt surreal—like I’d been holding my breath for weeks, and now that the truth was out, I wasn’t sure what to do next. But Matt’s steady, easy replies reminded me why I trusted him in the first place.

ME: for the record, you’re still Manhattan. MATT: I’d be offended if I wasn’t.

I laughed softly to myself, earning a curious glance from my friend as we stopped at the check-in line.

ME: You’re taking this all surprisingly well, you know. MATT: What can I say? I’m full of surprises. 😉 ME: You are a lot more chill than I expected for someone with your reputation. MATT: Oh? What were you expecting? A cocky NHL player? ME: Something like that.

I could practically hear his laugh through the phone when his reply came.

MATT: Guess I’ll have to work on being less humble.

The group started moving forward, and I stuffed my phone in my pocket. But even as I focused on getting through security, I couldn’t stop the small, steady smile on my face.

For the first time since I’d landed in New York, I felt like I wasn’t just trying to keep up with the chaos. Instead, I was leaving with something new—something unexpected, but maybe exactly what I needed.

As we settled into the airport lounge, I scrolled absentmindedly through my phone, rereading Matt’s last message and trying not to smile too much. My friend plopped down beside me with a sigh, setting her carry-on bag at her feet. She didn’t say anything at first, but then she turned to me with a pointed look, her arms crossed.

“Okay, girl, what has been happening?” she said, her tone dripping with exasperation. “Your phone has sent you into about 30 different mood swings this weekend, and don’t think I haven’t noticed you giggling at texts for however long. Spill.”

I blinked at her, caught off guard. “What? Nothing’s happening.”

“Don’t even try it,” she shot back, narrowing her eyes. “You’ve been glued to your phone since we landed, and I know that dopey little smile you get when you’re texting someone. It’s not just random, so don’t even pretend it’s about homework or whatever.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but her stare told me I wasn’t getting out of this. Sighing, I tucked my phone into my pocket and leaned back in my seat. “Fine. But just—promise you won’t freak out, okay?”

“Why would I freak out?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well…” I hesitated, picking at the edge of my sleeve. “There’s this guy I’ve been talking to. For a while, actually.”

Her eyes widened, and she leaned forward like she was ready to pounce on every word. “Oh my god. Keep going. Who is he? Do I know him?”

“No, you don’t know him,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “We met online a few months ago. He’s…different. In a good way. Really sweet, really funny. Athletic- Big fighter. We just…clicked, I guess.”

She stared at me for a moment, her expression unreadable, before she let out an exaggerated gasp. “Wait. Is this why you’ve been weird about your phone this whole time? Are you like—are you falling for him?”

“What? No!” I said, a little too loudly, earning a couple of glances from the people around us. “It’s not like that. We’re just—friends. Close friends.”

She smirked, not buying it for a second. “Right. Sure. And you’re giggling at his texts because…friendship.”

I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“You like him,” she teased, nudging my shoulder. “And it’s okay! I mean, if he’s as great as you’re making him sound, I say go for it.”

I hesitated, the weight of everything I wasn’t telling her pressing down on me. “It’s complicated,” I admitted finally. “There’s…a lot about his life that I didn’t know until recently. It’s been a little overwhelming, but he’s trying to make things right.”

“Overwhelming how?” she asked, her tone softening.

“Just—stuff I wasn’t expecting,” I said vaguely, hoping she wouldn’t push for more. “But I really do trust him. And I think…I think we’re figuring it out.”

Her smile softened, and she reached out to squeeze my hand. “If he’s making you happy, that’s what matters. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself, too, okay?”

I nodded, grateful that she wasn’t prying any further. “Thanks,” I said quietly.

“Of course,” she said, sitting back in her chair. After a beat, though, her smirk returned. “So, do I get to see a picture of this mystery guy, or are you gonna keep me in suspense?”

“Not a chance,” I said, laughing despite myself.

“Ugh, fine,” she said, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. “But just so you know, I’m rooting for you two.”

I smiled at her, my chest feeling a little lighter. Even if I couldn’t share the full truth, having someone in my corner still meant something.

The flight boarded without incident, and soon enough, we were cruising at altitude. I leaned against the window, watching clouds drift by like slow-moving waves. My friend was deeply engrossed in her e-reader, leaving me some space to think.

Despite our talk in the airport lounge, my mind was still tangled with everything that had happened this weekend. Meeting Matt—well, technically not meeting him—had turned my world sideways. For months, he’d been a name, a face, a voice on my phone. And now, knowing the full truth about who he was…it made everything feel real in a way that was both thrilling and terrifying.

I kept my phone in my bag this time, deciding to let the weight of the weekend settle in silence. I couldn’t shake the strange mix of anticipation and hesitation coursing through me. Everything between Matt and me had shifted, and while I didn’t regret it, I wasn’t entirely sure what came next.

Leaning back in my seat, I watched the clouds stretch endlessly outside the window, their stillness contrasting with my swirling thoughts. My friend eventually glanced over, nudging me gently.

“You okay?” she asked, her voice soft.

I nodded, managing a small smile. “Yeah. Just tired.”

She looked at me like she didn’t quite believe it but let it go, her attention returning to her e-reader.

The rest of the flight passed in a blur, and before I knew it, we were landing back in San Diego. As the wheels touched down and the cabin filled with the familiar sounds of people gathering their things, I finally pulled out my phone.

ME: Landed safely.

His reply came almost instantly.

MATT: Glad you didn’t get stuck. How was the flight? ME: Fine so far. My friend’s still giving me side-eye because I wouldn’t show her your picture. MATT: Why not? I’m very photogenic.

I laughed quietly, shaking my head.

ME: Because she’d figure out who you are in about 0.2 seconds, genius. MATT: Fair point. Can’t have you blowing my cover. MATT: (Also, now I’m wondering what you told her about me.) ME: Just that we’ve been friends for a while. Nothing too crazy. MATT: You didn’t tell her how charming I am? I’m offended. ME: Obviously not. I don’t want her stealing you. MATT: Oh, so I’m yours now?

I rolled my eyes, though my cheeks warmed slightly at his teasing.

ME: Don’t push it, Manhattan.

The chat went quiet after that, and I rested my head back against the seat, letting my thoughts wander.

As strange as this weekend had been, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it had changed something between us—for the better. Knowing who he really was hadn’t pushed me away. If anything, it had made me more curious about the person behind the nickname, the person who’d become such a big part of my life without me even realising it.

And maybe…just maybe, that was worth holding onto.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Two months passed in a blur, but Matt and I never lost touch. If anything, our conversations became more frequent. The texts ranged from playful teasing to long, thoughtful exchanges that stretched late into the night.

The dynamic between us felt natural, easy—but there was an undercurrent of something new now. A spark of anticipation I couldn’t quite ignore, like we were both waiting for something to happen.

One night, as I sat cross-legged on my bed, scrolling through TikTok to procrastinate on my homework, my phone buzzed.

Tuesday, July 9, 2024 Today, 4:17PM MATT: Big game tonight. Send me some good luck vibes or I’ll blame you if we lose.

I smirked, typing back.

ME: Wow, no pressure or anything. Good luck, though. Knock ‘em dead, #73. MATT: You really do your homework, huh? ME: You’ve only mentioned your jersey number, like, a thousand times. Hard to forget. MATT: Good. Means you’re paying attention. MATT: Seriously, though. This one’s big. ME: You’ll crush it. You always do.

There was a pause before his next text came through.

MATT: You have way too much faith in me, San Diego. ME: Somebody’s gotta keep you humble. MATT: That’s rich, coming from the person who called me a “big fighter” to her friend on a bus.

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at the memory.

ME: You’re never letting that go, are you? MATT: Never. It’s iconic.

I grinned, and before I could second-guess myself, I typed:

ME: Let me know how the game goes.

After the game, he did. It became a pattern—him updating me after games, sometimes venting about a loss or celebrating a win, always with his signature blend of humor and charm.

One night, as I lounged on my couch watching Netflix, he FaceTimed me out of the blue.

“Wow, bold,” I said as I answered, holding my phone up so he could see my raised brow.

“You’re the one who said to call if I needed to rant,” he shot back, flopping onto what looked like his hotel bed.

“Rough night?”

He sighed dramatically, running a hand through his hair. “We lost in overtime. It sucked.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, genuinely meaning it. “Overtime losses are brutal.”

“See? This is why I call you. You get it.”

I laughed. “What, none of your teammates understand your pain?”

“They’re not nearly as nice to me as you are,” he teased, flashing a grin that made my stomach do a little flip.

“You should tell them to start a support group for overpaid, overhyped athletes,” I quipped, earning a mock gasp.

“Wow, okay. Remind me why I called you again?”

“You like the abuse.”

He laughed, and the sound was so warm and familiar that I couldn’t help but smile.

We talked for another half hour, the conversation meandering from hockey to his favorite restaurants in New York to a ridiculous story about his teammate locking himself out of their bus. By the time we hung up, I felt lighter, like I’d just spent an evening with an old friend.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

A few weeks later, the inevitable topic came up.

Wednesday, August 7, 2024 Today, 10;54AM MATT: You know, it’s kind of wild we’ve never actually met in person. ME: Yeah, well, blame geography. MATT: Or your stubborn refusal to visit New York. ME: My refusal? Pretty sure you’re the one who hasn’t set foot in California. MATT: Fair point. But guess what? ME: What? MATT: I might be able to change that.

I sat up a little straighter, my heart skipping.

ME: Oh? MATT: Ducks game in Anaheim next month. Thinking about extending the trip and finally seeing what all the hype is about. ME: The hype about what? California or me? MATT: Yes.

I laughed, my cheeks warming.

ME: Well, if you do, let me know. MATT: You’ll actually make time for me?

Matt and I continued our nightly texts and FaceTimes, our conversations slipping into an easy rhythm that made it hard to believe we’d never actually met in person. It felt like we’d known each other for years, but there was always this unspoken awareness hovering between us—something deeper, something waiting to shift.

One night, after a particularly exhausting day, I flopped onto my bed and propped my phone against a pillow. I was mid-scroll through Instagram when his FaceTime request came through.

“Hello, stranger,” I said, answering as I smoothed my hair self-consciously.

“Stranger? Don’t act like you haven’t been blowing up my phone all day,” Matt replied, his grin softening the mock accusation.

“Excuse me,” I shot back, raising a brow. “You’re the one who texted me six times about whether it was socially acceptable to eat ice cream for dinner.”

“And you never answered,” he said with a smirk. “I had to make the executive decision myself. Cookies and cream, if you’re wondering.”

“Bold choice.” I laughed, settling more comfortably against my pillows. “You’re such an athlete.”

“Don’t tell my nutritionist,” he quipped, then hesitated, his grin fading just slightly. “So, uh…big news.”

I tilted my head. “Oh? What’s up?”

“After the, uh, game in Anaheim, I have 2 weeks off” he said casually, though I could tell from the way he shifted that it wasn’t as casual as he was trying to make it seem.

“Oh, cool,” I replied, waiting to see where he was going with this.

“Yeah, and…I might stick around a couple of days after.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know, check out the area. Grab coffee or something.”

My lips twitched. “Check out the area, huh?”

“Yeah.” His tone was light, but his eyes held a flicker of uncertainty. “I hear San Diego’s nice this time of year.”

“San Diego’s nice every time of year,” I teased.

“Well, then maybe you should show me around. Unless you’re too busy or something,” he added quickly, like he was trying to give me an out.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, pretending to mull it over. “I mean, you’re kind of a big deal. I wouldn’t want to blow your cover.”

He chuckled. “You’re not getting out of this that easily, Y/N. I’m serious. Let’s hang out.”

“Fine,” I relented with an exaggerated sigh. “But you’ll have to wear one of those cliché disguises. You know, baseball hat, oversized sunglasses, maybe a fake mustache.”

“A fake mustache?” he repeated, laughing. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m just saying, Manhattan,” I said, smirking, “it’s either that or I’m going to start charging for all the selfies you’ll get asked for.”

“Wow, you’re really looking out for me,” he replied dryly.

“Always,” I said, matching his tone.

There was a brief pause, his grin softening into something more thoughtful. “So, it’s a plan then?”

“Guess it is.”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Over the next few days, Matt dropped increasingly unsubtle hints about his "extended trip."

Wednesday, August 21, 2024 Today, 1:40PM MATT: What’s the best coffee spot in San Diego? Asking for a friend. ME: For a friend, huh? MATT: Yep. Definitely not for me. ME: Nice try. But you’re going to have to trust me on this one. I’ve got a spot in mind. MATT: Should I be nervous? ME: Absolutely.

The closer we got to the date, the more I caught myself overthinking. He hadn’t called it a date, which was probably for the best. After all, we’d built this incredible friendship, and the last thing I wanted was to ruin it with unrealistic expectations.

But still, the idea of seeing him—of finally meeting him in person—made my heart race in a way I couldn’t quite explain.

The night before the game, he texted me.

Thursday, September 5, 2024 Today, 2:18PM MATT: Game day tomorrow. Nervous? ME: Are you? MATT: Always. But I’ve got good luck on my side. ME: Oh yeah? What’s your secret? MATT: You, obviously.

I stared at the screen, my stomach flipping.

ME: Smooth. MATT: You like it. ME: Maybe. MATT: Just make sure you’re free the day after. No backing out now. ME: Who said I’m backing out? MATT: Just covering my bases.

I smiled to myself, shaking my head.

The next evening, I watched his game from my couch, my nerves hitting harder than I expected. I hadn’t told anyone—not even my best friend—about Matt’s trip, and now it felt like this huge secret I was carrying.

He scored a goal in the second period, and I actually cheered out loud, startling my roommate.

“What’s with you?” she asked, raising a brow.

“Uh, nothing,” I said, my face heating up.

When the game ended in a win, I half-expected him to text me right away, but he didn’t. It wasn’t until almost midnight that my phone buzzed.

MATT: So, you still up? ME: Maybe. MATT: Coffee tomorrow? ME: Sure. MATT: Finally.

The next morning, I arrived at the coffee shop earlier than I needed to, nerves making it impossible to stay still. I checked my reflection in my phone camera for the hundredth time, then pretended to scroll through Instagram to keep my hands busy.

When the door finally opened and I saw Matt walk in, my breath caught. He was taller than I’d imagined, his broad frame filling the doorway, but the easy grin on his face was exactly the same.

“Hey, San Diego,” he said, stopping in front of me.

And for the first time in months, I felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be. My voice steady despite the way my heart raced. “Hey, Manhattan.”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

to be continued... hehehe

[beyondthesefourwalls]

Marvelous Night for a Moondance

Summary: A date night at a concert in the park has you and Bradley adventuring in ways you hadn’t with each other yet. You had only been dating for a few short months, but he made you feel things you never had before, and it was almost scary how easy it was to picture yourself staying in his arms forever. 

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader 

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: language, public smut (fingering beneath a blanket) 

Notes: Not necessary to read RYEWID, but this is part of the The Forgotten Moments collection I have going, showcasing Bradley and Pumpkin’s relationship before his accident. @mak-32 threw the idea about a date night in the park out to me and I couldn’t let go of it, so this one is for you bb💜

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Bradley Bradshaw: How do you feel about going out tonight instead?

You zoomed in on the picture he had attached to the text message, making out a flier for an outdoor concert focusing on 70s and 80s tribute bands that was taking place tonight in the park not too far from your apartment. There would be food trucks and a bar set up, and the event itself was free to the public. The weather was starting to warm up now that spring had begun - it was still cooler at night, but the thought of being outdoors cuddled up against your boyfriend was enough to have you smiling as you typed back. 

Meet you there?

Bradley Bradshaw: You’re funny, Pumpkin. I’ll pick you up at 7. 

You bit your lip as giddiness washed over you. It was a feeling you were still getting used to. You and Bradley had only met a few months ago, seated together at a singles table at a wedding out of town, but the connection had been instantaneous and had only gotten stronger since then. He made you feel things you never had before - feelings you had really only associated with characters from books or movies and that you never dreamed would happen to you. 

You had no idea something like this could be real, but Bradley Bradshaw had proved you wrong in all the best ways. 

Can’t wait. See you then, loverboy :) 

Before you could even set your phone down and get back to work, it buzzed in your hand again. You laughed as you read his response, shaking your head in amusement. 

Bradley Bradshaw: Sure will, baby ;) 

___

The park was scattered with people sitting at picnic tables or in the grass or on lawn chairs they had brought with them. You and Bradley had arrived after the concert had already started, but had found a patch of grass to spread out in the back, nearly at the park’s edge. The two of you sat together on the blanket he had thought to bring, working your way through the funnel cake from one of the food trucks. Bradley’s jacket was draped across your shoulders and a wildflower from the bouquet of flowers he had arrived with was tucked into your hair, and it was amazing how happy just being around him made you.

“I’ve never seen someone so passionate about a doughnut and powdered sugar before.”  

You gasped, feeling genuine offense at his words as you gaped at him. “It’s not a doughnut. It may be within the doughnut family, but a funnel cake is a work of art and in a league of its own, Bradley.” 

To emphasize your point, you ripped a piece of the snack off and popped it in your mouth, chewing happily. 

Bradley laughed, but you knew it was in amusement and not at your expense. No one had ever looked at you the way he did. His expressions were always so open, portraying everything he was feeling. And right now he was looking at you with a softness you had come to associate only with him. 

His eyes flickered down to your lip and he cleared his throat, pointing to your lips. “You have a little something there.”

You went to wipe what you were sure was powdered sugar away, but Bradley leaned down, kissing the corner of your mouth. Butterflies erupted in your stomach. There was a smirk on his handsome face when he pulled away. “Got it.”

The night sky was dark and you were far enough back on the lawn that the lights from the stage or that were strung up in some of the trees weren’t close enough to illuminate the two of you. So you didn’t hesitate to swipe up some of the fallen sugar on the paper plate and run it over his mustache. Before he could question what you were doing, you were cupping the side of his face and guiding his head back to yours. You kissed him softly before running your tongue through the hair above his lip, collecting the sweetness you had intentionally put there. The shocked look on his face and his darkened eyes left you more than satisfied with yourself when you pulled away, your smirk just as present as his was. 

“You’re trouble,” he said, clearing his throat when his voice cracked just the slightest bit. 

“You love it,” you insisted, and with the wink he sent you and the way his eyes sparkled, you knew he wouldn’t disagree. 

Bradley set the empty plate to the side to be discarded later, holding open his arms for you. Without a word, you happily crawled to sit between his spread legs. His thighs bracketed you on both sides and even with the additional barrier of his jacket, his chest was warm against your back. He grabbed the other blanket he had brought and draped it over both of your laps before his arms wound around you, holding you close. You couldn’t help but release a content sigh as he kissed your hair and started singing along to the music in your ear. 

It was a little crazy how quickly his arms became your favorite place to be, and maybe even crazier that you could already see yourself staying in them for the rest of your life. You snuggled back closer into him at the thought. 

You sat quietly for a while as the band played covers of Queen and Hall & Oats. You were too far away to actually see the stage as more than a blur in the distance, but it was nice, sitting there in the dark as the music floated back to you. You stayed caged between Bradley’s legs as one of the arms that was wrapped around you dropped to ghost down your side instead, finding a home resting lightly over your stomach. After a moment, his fingertips started tracing shapes into the patch of skin visible below the cropped shirt you were wearing. You squirmed at the feel of his touch on your skin, but settled into it quickly. 

Only another minute passed before those same fingers dipped below the waistband of your long, flowy skirt. You could feel him take a deep breath as he met the top of your cotton panties. He briefly rubbed against the band of the material before you felt him start to retract. You grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. 

“It’s okay,” you murmured, voice breathier than you anticipated with so little having happened. It was just the effect he had on you. 

“You sure?” Bradley asked roughly in your ear. You nodded, and with another kiss to the side of your head, his hand started moving again. The dark night was aided by the blanket in keeping the both of you covered. Though the music was a steady volume throughout the park and the nearest couple was several yards away, you still bit your lip before a moan could draw the attention of anyone when he slipped past the cotton and over the sensitive skin it kept hidden. When you let your thighs fall open against his, allowing him further access, he groaned quietly into your hair. 

He slid his middle finger between your lips, coating his finger in your growing arousal. When he tapped your clit with another, your nails dug into his denim covered thighs your hands rested on. 

“You get so wet for me so quickly,” he mused quietly, almost like he was speaking to himself. Still, you nodded in agreement. He continued brushing his fingers through your folds, occasionally touching your bundle of nerves. He was moving calmly, without urgency. He had made it clear in the last few months how much he liked to tease you; you knew this moment, despite your setting, was no exception. 

There was a slow but powerful simmer building inside of you. He pressed firmly and circled your clit, and you knew you were reaching a boiling point. You wanted his fingers inside of you, but you wanted to touch him, too. 

With a shaky breath, you gripped his forearm, murmuring for him to stop. He did so immediately, withdrawing his hand. Briefly, you marveled at how quick he was to do as you asked as you shifted so you were sitting more sideways between his legs, forcing them wider. But then you caught sight of the almost panicked and guilty look on his face and you were quick to shake your head and draw his lips to yours with a hand on his neck. 

“I want it. I want you,” you reassured. The crease that had formed on his forehead smoothed at your words and he cocked his head to the side in question. 

“Then what’s wrong? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Pumpk-oh, fuck.” 

You had reached down to palm at him through his jeans. He was hard and thick and your mouth watered as you thought about having him in your mouth. You knew you couldn’t do that now, but before the end of the night, when you were back at your apartment, you would make it a priority. Bradley’s jaw clenched and the veins in his neck throbbed as he worked to stay quiet as you squeezed. 

“I want to touch you too,” you told him. He let you, for a moment, jaw clenching and the veins in his neck throbbing as he worked to stay quiet before he stopped you with a shake of his head and murmur of your name. You pouted when he took your hand away even as he brought it to his mouth to kiss your palm. 

“I don’t think both of us will get away with doing this here, baby. Let me make you feel good now, and we can focus on me later, yeah?”

He pressed a series of kisses into the side of your face, tugging at your ear with his teeth before he spoke again, his voice deeper and raspier than before. “Don’t you know by now that I’ll always put you first?” 

You shivered at his words. It hadn’t been that long, but yes, you did know that. Bradley always put you first, in and out of the bedroom. He was a marvel. 

His legs fell open for you further and you moved so your back was leaning half against one of his strong thighs and half against his chest. The angle still wasn’t the best, but it was better than before, allowing his better access. This time, he didn’t hesitate to slide his hand into your skirt and underwear. His long, thick fingers felt so good sliding through your folds, but it was nothing compared to how good they felt when they slid inside of you. You drew your bottom lip between your teeth as a moan threatened to escape. God, even his fingers made you feel so full. 

He was methodical in how he worked you up. You wanted so badly to move your hips to accentuate the feeling, but you knew you had to remain still to not give the two of you away. You tucked your face as far as you could into his chest, breathing heavily. Your hands clutched at his shirt so tightly as he whispered the sweetest filth in your ear. 

“You’re so beautiful, taking my fingers like this in public. You’re so tight and warm. You feel how wet you are for me? I can’t wait to be inside of you later. Going to make you feel so good. When we’re back at home, you can be as loud as you want. I can’t believe you’re mine.” 

You were climbing closer and closer to release, his voice in your ear aiding his touch. 

“Do you trust me, Pumpkin?” 

“Yes,” you breathed without hesitation, “Always.” 

Bradley curled his fingers inside of you at the same time his thumb pressed down hard on your clit, rapidly rubbing back and forth and providing you with the most intense stimulation of the night. One of your hands that had been tangled in his shirt shot out to grasp his arm, pressing him harder into you as the coil snapped. 

“Then let go, baby. Come for me.” 

You tilted your head up and quietly moaned his name, sounding wrecked even to your own ears. Bradley kissed you as you rode out your orgasm, swallowing the sounds you were desperate to make. 

He withdrew his fingers when you finally stopped twitching and your breathing evened out. You expected him to wipe them on the blanket still covering your lap, or even on your skirt. You watched with eyes still bleary from your release when instead, he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking your juices off and humming in delight at your taste. You felt another twinge of desire shoot through you at the sight. 

“Bradley,” you pleaded, “let’s go back to my place.”  

But Bradley shook his head. He was insistent that he had promised you a date night out and he intended on keeping that promise. With a slightly resigned sigh, because honestly how could you be mad when your heart was swelling so much at how dedicated he was to you, you accepted defeat. You adjusted yourself so you were sitting between his legs again and he held you tightly, resuming the soft singing in your ear that he had been doing when this all began. You did your best to get comfortable like you were before, but you were all too aware of just how wet and sticky your underwear were.  He was partially through the second verse of a Van Morrison song when you couldn’t take it anymore. You sat up just far enough to allow you to shimmy out of them, albeit a little awkwardly. As you settled back against his chest, you slipped the soaked cotton into his hand. 

“Can you put those in your pocket?” you requested innocently, “I don’t think I have room in my bag.” 

Bradley didn’t say anything, but you noticed how he had the fabric clutched in his fist, his thumb running through the obvious evidence gathered in the center of just how wet he had made you. You tilted your head back to look at his face. When he finally looked away from your panties and his eyes met yours, they were darker than they had been all night. You murmured his name in question. 

In answer, Bradley pressed a harsh, quick kiss to your lips. Then he was standing and holding a hand out to you. With the other, he stuffed your underwear in his pocket like you had requested before he started gathering the blankets you had been using. 

“I thought we were staying for the rest of the concert?” you asked, somewhat smugly at how you had gotten him to crack, even if it hadn’t been your complete intention. Once everything was tucked under his arm, the other dropped your hand and wrapped around your shoulder instead, pulling you into his side as he began guiding you to the exit of the park toward the parking lot. 

“That was before you handed me your absolutely drenched panties, Pumpkin,” he explained, voice strained. You glanced down and even in the dark, you could see he was hard in his jeans. 

“And now?” you asked. 

“Now, I’m taking you back to your place, and I’m going to spend all night between your legs. How does that sound?” 

You couldn’t help the shiver that shook your whole body or the goosebumps that erupted over your skin. You swallowed thickly. 

“It sounds great,” you promised him. You could feel your thighs dampening as you walked, and you were so hungry for him and how he made you feel. You slipped your hand into his back pocket and when you neared the car, you stopped to pull him into a kiss. 

“Stay the night with me tonight?” you murmured against his lips. 

“I’ll stay with you forever if you want, Pumpkin. Just say the word.” 

As he opened the door and helped you into the Bronco, you thought forever sounded like just what you wanted.

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End Notes: I hope you enjoyed it, and would love to hear your feedback. Likes/comments/reblogs mean the world💚

Special thanks to Mak and Em for everything, as always.

Masterlist

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[schlattslambo]

Ours. - Tsukiyama x Reader (+18) Ch. One!

A/N: Here it is!! The long awaited first chapter of this series!! I hope you all love it!

Warnings: One instance of degradation, very slight exhibitionism

Reader is afab, female presenting, and used she/her pronouns.

This is a poly fic, and if anyone has any suggestions or corrections, please let me know! I’ve never written a poly relationship before, so I hope I do this justice.

Tadashi Yamaguchi and Tsukishima Kei were practically attached at the hip. while they weren’t “exclusive”, everyone knew that the two had something going on. It was obvious. Between the hushed whispers that were shared between the two of them, the shy glances and the knowing smirks, everyone knew. Especially you.

You had known the two boys for a few years now, and had gotten close with both of them. You actually considered the two of them your best friends. So much so, that they asked you to move into their shared apartment when you were looking for a place to stay.

Thankfully, the boys were usually respectful of your living conditions. Only engaging in ‘activities’ when you were out or when they knew you would be asleep. You would always know when they had done the deed while you were out if Tadashi’s face was flushed when you greeted him and if Tsukki was particularly snarky and confident.

Both boys were very attractive, there was no denying that. It seemed like every other day that either of them were getting new love letters placed delicately onto their schoolbags between classes. You knew that girls fawned over them, even if they were seeing each other. You knew that they were both openly bi, so the idea of dating a girl wasn’t exactly out of the realm of possibility, but they were also very much in love - according to Tadashi.

***

After a particularly rough day at school, you entered the house with a sigh, tossing your bag into the corner where it always went before kicking off your shoes. You made your way to the kitchen to grab some iced tea - Tadashi found a recipe online one day and it’s all the three of you ever drink - to calm down. Taking a sip of the sweet drink, you can’t help but smile. The boys are so good to you.

You hear rustling upstairs, followed by some groaning. Your heart seems to stutter in your chest as your breath gets caught in your throat. You can almost hear Tadashi moaning and pleading, the words ‘please…g’na cum’ suddenly registering in your mind as your eyes widen.

The boys were usually good with assuming when you’d be home from school, but to be fair, you had stomped home earlier than usual. You find a seat on the couch, scrolling your phone to try and distract yourself from the noises upstairs. You’d been reading a very good book on your phone, so maybe if you put some headphones in and read, the noises would drown out.

You open the books app before heading to your bag to search for your headphones. Unfortunately for you, the spot where you keep your bag is right at the base of the stairs. You try and be quick, but not before hearing some degradation.

“Atta boy, look at yourself.” you hear Tsukishima say. “Look how you come undone on my cock, leaking all over the sheets like a whore.”

You feel heat pooling in your stomach as your cheeks nearly flush as red as your sneakers. It felt so wrong eavesdropping on their intimacy like this, but you couldn’t help it. Plus, you were trying to distract yourself.

For a moment, the moans get louder as Tadashi cries out, presumably cumming all over the sheets. You hear him thank Tsukishima a few times before everything falls silent for a moment. Finally, you find your headphones, scrambling to the couch before you can get caught.

Your hands seem to shake as you place the headphones in your ears and turn some soft music on. You’re sure that your blush has finally calmed down while you get into the book. Tadashi comes down the stairs, hair messy and face red. His eyes widen as he looks at your figure, curled up on the couch reading on your phone.

You can see him out of the corner of your eye, but you force yourself to continue to read. Tsukishima follows Tadashi, smirking at the slightly shorter boy. You hear him say something, but it doesn’t register. Tadashi sits on the couch, and you can tell he’s mortified.

“Hey Dashi.” you say, taking a headphone out with a smile. “You just wake up?”

You can see how Tadashi physcially relaxes as you play dumb. You hear Tsukishima snort but choose to ignore it. Tadashi manages a nod.

“Y-yeah,” he says. “Didn’t sleep too well last night.”

“I hope you got some decent rest.” you say, turning back to your phone, still smiling. “I know how much you love sleeping.”

Tadashi nods, his cheeks still flushed. Tsukishima grabs two water bottles from the kitchen, handing one to Tadashi. He takes it with a grateful smile, taking a small sip.

“How was school?” Tsukishima asks, sitting on the recliner. You shrug.

“Same as usual, total shit.” you reply. “I don’t know why people keep trying to push my buttons.”

“Maybe,” Tsukishima starts, crossing one leg over the other. “Because you’re fun to fuck with.”

You roll your eyes. Tsukishima always said that you were fun to mess with, ever since he found out how hotheaded you got when frustrated. Tadashi would always try to smooth the situation, which usually resulted in the two of you gossiping in his room until the sun started to come up.

“I’ve been told.” you reply, placing your headphones in your lap. “But it’s not right if someone keeps teasing me about shit i cant control!”

You feel anger bubbling up in your chest as Tsukishima smirks. Tadashi silently pleads with him to drop it, but of course he doesn’t. Tsukishima loves seeing you get all riled up. He does it on purpose most of the time because you’re hot when you get mad.

“What, did they call you short again?” Tsukishima teases. “You’re like a chihuahua, tiny and full of anger.”

You slam your phone onto the couch, glaring at Tsukishima. He just smirks at you, crossing his arms on his chest. In all honesty, it was hot seeing him so cocky. You chew your bottom lip.

“You’re an asshole.” you snap, standing up. “All you do is fucking pick on people and laugh at them! I’m tired of being the punch line of your short jokes!”

Tsukishima walks over to you in three long strides. He towers over you, smirking down. He does this to Tadashi to fluster him, but all it does is make you horny.

“You look so cute when you’re mad.” you don’t expect Tadashi’s voice behind you.

You turn, eyes wide. “Wh-what??”

Tadashi just gives you a sweet smile, standing up as well. He walks over, putting his hands on your hips as he leans in, breath on your neck.

“We’ve been meaning to ask you,” Tsukishima starts, brushing some hair out of your eyes. “We’ve been wanting to add someone to our little circle, fucking them and taking care of them. Would you be interested?”

Your head is spinning. You aren’t that short, but the boys still tower over you. And the mere thought of the two of them using you makes you weak in the knees. There’s suddenly a wetness sitting in your panties.

“What do you say, pretty girl?” Tadashi leans down, pressing a kiss to your neck as you gasp.

“Give her some time to think about it Tadashi.” Tsukishima’s voice is sweet yet firm, so Tadashi nods as Tsukishima turns to you. “But I’d like to talk to you about it later, if you’re interested.”

You nod, letting out a soft breath as the two boys turn on the tv, quickly finding something to watch. All of your anger is gone, replaced with confusion and horniness. eventually, You settle down a bit, watching the show that the boys put on.

***

That evening, you’re in your room, typing away at your laptop. School sucks, but you still want to pass and get your degree. With writing being such a large part if your schooling, it was inevitable that you’d be cooped up in your room.

There’s a soft knock on your door, pulling you away from your work.

“Come in.” you say, looking up.

Tsukishima opens the door, giving you a soft smile. “Do you have a minute?”

“I’m sure my essay can wait a minute.” you reply, quickly saving the document and closing your computer so you can give him your full attention. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about what i said earlier,” Tsukishima starts. “I wanted to make sure that we didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

You were slightly shocked at how sweet Tsukishima was being. Ever since he started dating Tadashi, he became nicer. Of course, he still had his asshole moments like earlier, which was a given, but you noticed a stark change in behavior to you and others that he tolerated. He smiled a lot more and was actually trying his best to make sure that Tadashi was okay and that you were okay as well.

“Oh, you didn’t make me uncomfortable.” you say. “It just took me by surprise.”

“I’m glad that we didn’t make you uncomfortable.” Tsukishima says, a soft blush covering his cheeks. “But I wanted to go over some things so that stays the same, is that okay?”

You listen to Tsukishima talk about his relationship with Tadashi, how he was the dominant one and Tadashi was the submissive one. You knew that already, as it was blatantly obvious, but you just nodded along.

“Basically, we wanted to also be in a relationship with you as well.” Tsukishima says finally. “It was originally Tadashi’s idea, but i liked it too.”

You were shocked, looking up at Tsukishima with wide eyes. Both of them wanted to date you? But how would that work?

“If you want, we could take you out on a date so you can talk with the two of us.” Tsukishima adds. “You w have to give us an answer right away, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to say yes if you don’t like the idea.”

“No, I like it.” you admit, a bit quicker than your liking.

Tsukishima’s eyes widen. “Really?” he asks. “You do?”

You nod, taking your bottom lip between your teeth as your face burns. Tsukishima smiles as he stands up.

“Awesome,” he says. “Tomorrow at 7, be ready cutie.”

Tsukishima leaves with a wink, shutting your door behind him, leaving you too stunned to go back to your work. Your essay may have to wait more than a minute.

I’m so proud of this first chapter!!!

Taglist: @awkwardaardvarkforever @driftwoodsun

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 9/28+9/29

What am I feeling today?

Tired and overwhelmed. My laptop stopped working yesterday and I wasn’t able to get any work done at all and also I came home past 1 am this morning and I’m just so burnt out. Also disappointed in myself, as I stated earlier, I can feel myself slipping in regards to getting to attached to the guy I like. I spent some time in prayer over it this morning and then when I checked my phone I had gotten a notification from him (we rarely communicate outside of church) so now I’m like dang is Satan really trying to get me or do I see it as something will probably happen. I’m lost and I don’t want him on my mind so often when my number 1 priority needs to be God!

So tired. Our washer kinda flooded and we stayed up till midnight trying to get all the water out and cleaning. I’m also just feeling down, I just don’t want to leave my house but I know that I should go to church. I just need to spend some time with God.

Bible Study: Idols of the Heart

We have seen that idolatry is a heart issue. People abandon God’s ways and do things their way as they become wise in their own eyes. Look at Adam and Eve. Eve did not want to go to God for wisdom and knowledge. She wanted it independent of God, the fount of all wisdom. Eve desired the fruit more than God.

Idols of the heart are very deceptive because we can sometimes justify our actions by weaponizing scripture. Example: When we sin, we can minimize our behaviour by saying, "God is loving, He is forgiving, He is gracious. He does not condemn. He wants the best for me." We take scripture out of context and its overarching principles to suit our ends.

At the root of idolatry is a lack of trust in God’s goodness and that He will always give us good things, even when the wait is long.

Religion, too, can be an idol when we seek the gifts, ministry, position, more than Jesus.

AREAS OF IDOLATRY

Let us look at some broad categories of idols of the heart. Here is one:

PLEASURE /FEEL GOOD

We live in a feeling-driven world. If it feels good, it must be right. The feel-good idol wants a life of pleasure at all costs. This person is feeling driven and does not walk led by the Spirit. Their lives are ruled by wrong and undisciplined feelings that dictate to them in ways you cannot imagine, and they call it freedom! Freedom is not permission to do your own thing; rather, it is freedom from inner compulsions.

The feel-good idol will also make you do anything to numb the pain and seek pleasure. You can’t always feel good, yet you want to show that you are in this constant state of happiness. Just take a look at people’s Instagram posts and reels if you think this is not true. The need to project that all is well all the time causes you to live in deception and creates a false impression.

This idol also says, “Do not disturb my life, my doctrine, my comfort level."

REFLECTIONS

Have you ever wrongly used scripture to justify your behaviour or choices?

I’d assume in the past I must have but I can’t think of anything from the present when I have done that.

Do you identify with the above broad categories of idols of the heart?

I can. I don’t think I go after it at all costs (I used to) but I’ve learned a lot more and I’ve grown more to try and set limits for myself. However, I can still very easily be swayed by my emotions and desires and I wish (and pray for) a lot more self control🙏🏼

Is there anyone you can talk to about them?

Yes! My discipler. She’s been very helpful and although she says I’ve been doing a good job, that she’ll seek advice to see if there’s anything else that I can be doing to guard my heart. I can also talk to some of my other girl friends from church, I know some of them struggle with the same thing as me but it’s always great to have multiple advisors.

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭17‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.””

Our emotions do not dictate the truth that is God. The way we react isn’t the truth. Our hearts can feel so many different ways at different times. I know there have definitely been instances where my heart has deceived me. Now, I’m not saying that emotions are a bad thing or you shouldn’t feel, but just be mindful of what they are and where they’re coming from because you don’t want to be ruled by it. You want your life to be ruled by God.

Second, God searches our hearts and examines our minds, He knows us completely. We may be able to fool and deceive people, but God knows. So what’s the point of hiding certain things if they’ll come to light before Him? He knows what we deserve and He’ll be sure to give it to us.

‭‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭13‬-‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

That part! God cannot tempt you! Temptation does not come from God!

Instead we’re tempted by our own evil desire. I know that I can desire things that at this time in my life, I shouldn’t. Sometimes, my mind goes to intimacy and although that’s not a sin in the confines of marriage, I’m not a married woman, and therefore have no business thinking such thoughts. Again, desire gives birth to sin and sin leads to death!

TITUS 2:11-14 NIV

“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

The grace of God, salvation, teaches us to say “no”! We must say no to ungodliness and worldly passions! God wants us to have self control, to be upright and godly! We should be eager to do what is right!

Practical: This will be difficult for me to deny myself but I should keep practicing self control. I’m not going to seek out the guy I like. If we do speak, I should make sure we aren’t alone. Also, that we’re not spending too much time with each other. I just need to keep these feelings and desires at bay because I don’t want it to reach a point where it overtakes me🙏🏼

[nolifenicole96]

In 27 years I’ve never once been in love. Never had a boyfriend. Never really had a real first date. I’ve gone through life alone for 27 years and I am tired. Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of guys I’ve been interested in but it just always seemed they were never into me. And the ones that were into me I didn’t feel a spark. They didn’t make me laugh and I didn’t find them attractive.

I thought I was in love when I was around 4/5. We’d known each other since kindercare and our families hung out all the time. I’m not sure what it was about Mikey. Maybe it was because we always ended up in the same class. Or maybe it was because whenever I was with him it was just fun. We were kids so nothing could get too complicated. Once I moved I thought those feelings would go away but they have always lingered. Sometimes I think about him. But I remember how happy he is with his girlfriend of 10+ years and the house they just bought together and I know he’s doing just fine without me in his life.

I thought I felt like I was in love again when I was in middle school. Specifically 6th grade. In world history I sat next non other that Frank. He was your typical emo/skater kid. We got along. Had plenty in common. And even went to the same after school program so we saw each other pretty often. We were so close in fact that in became a running joke in our class that we were dating. Now my memory gets fuzzy but if I know myself I have a feeling I would have gotten red in the face and then super defensive even though I would have loved nothing more than to be dating him. But I panic and think that that is the last thing frank wants is to be attached to me like that. Did that stop me from walking right up to him on Valentine’s Day in front of the whole class and giving him a Valentin I made for him? No. No it didn’t. Because I may have been stupid but I was no coward. But all that got me was a few “hi’s” in the hallways for the next 2 years of middle school as we hardly saw each other. We didn’t speak at all by the time we got to high school we’re eventually he left half way through for personal reasons. And with his untimely death a few years back I will never get the chance to tell him how much he meant to me even if he didn’t feel the same way about me.

And then there was Josh. As much as I would like to paint him as the bad guy I just can’t. The older I get, the more I realize I’m just a coward and if anything I used him in the end. It wasn’t love. It never was. At first it was a challenge. He had ever girl in middle school falling at his feet and I was willing to walk right up to him and tell him that “mustache” looks ugly and should shave. We both saw each other as a challenge. What he didn’t realize though was no matter how much sweet talking he did, it wasn’t going to get him any dirty pictures. I had an idea of what romance, relationships and love where and what we had wasn’t that. It scared me. He realized very fast that I wasn’t putting out so my phone eventually went silent. Then we got a little older. He said he thought of us as friends and I tried to believe him. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that he would only try and talk to me when he was in between girlfriends. So when I moved I thought I would finally let him go. But I was wrong. I had just come back to visit for the holidays and had also just got the news that one of my close friends had just died in a car accident on her way to see her family. I spent that whole trip with either a drink in my had or just sleeping. It’s like I wasn’t really there. But I was. And while I was I got a text from non other than Josh himself asking if I wanted to see a movie. For context he also knew this friend so in my mind he was asking so he could check up on me. I was wrong. Once I was in that car I knew I was wrong because he mentions about 2 minutes in that he broke up with his girlfriend. My stomach dropped and I didn’t know if it was from anticipation or disappointment. Needless to say we didn’t watch the movie. But even in my drunken stupper of that trip I knew better then to sleep with him. So came home with some dignity. After I got home I was bombarded with text after text of “when can I see you next” or “I can come to where you live now” or “we can make this work I swear”. I never once answered. I had a man telling me everything I always wanted to hear and I ran from it. Maybe it was because I knew I didn’t love him. Or because it would never really work. But either way I was a coward. So Josh for that I’m sorry.

I’ve had moments were I liked someone since. But they never amounted to anything. Mostly because I never said anything. And the one time it did since Josh it felt like a punch to the gut. Nothing hurts more then when that person knows how closed off you are, finally gets you to open up, only for them to just fuck you (and not that great if I might add) then say deuces.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I suck at online dating. I have truly seen too much dateline. I’m getting to a point where I just think maybe I’m ugly on the outside and inside as well.

[koqabear]

hit me with your killshot, baby (C.YJ)

Summary:

It was a small, quiet town you had decided to move into. One that you could help with any healing or magical needs. What you didn’t expect, however, was to face a demon too powerful for your own good. The worst part? Seems like he’s gotten attached.

Yeonjun x reader/ demon!yeonjun x witch!reader

Genre: fantasy, enemies to ?? thriller(?), angst if you squint me thinks

Word count: 3.0K

Warnings: general physical fighting/violence, mentions of scars, burns, bones breaking, knives, blood, fire, descriptions of pain (let me know if I should add anything!)

a/n: This might get another part if it gets a good response <3 Writing fantasy is rlly fun for me as well, I’m so glad that this is the story that got me out of my writers block lmao

comments and reblogs are always welcome and much appreciated, hope you guys enjoy! <3

Disclaimer!! Absolutely nothing about this story is accurate or real, anything and everything that mc the witch does is made up!

It was about three in the morning when you got the call.

“Hello?” You said, eyes squinted as you had just been woken up from your sleep. The line remained silent for a moment, leaving you to wonder if this was a scam caller. You spoke again, only to hear hasty footsteps becoming louder, presumably running towards the phone.

“Hello?!” The voice called out, the loud exclamation causing you to jolt awake. “Oh my god, oh my god!” Their exasperated voice rang through your line, and you stood to get properly dressed, already anticipating their request.

“Where do you live?” You asked sharply, grabbing the keys to your car and waiting for their answer. They stuttered out their address, the sounds of the rain coming into your ear. They were now outside.

“Please come quick, this spirit has been bothering me for weeks now, I could have sworn they were harmless-“ they cried into the phone, only to get cut off by your stern command.

“Leave your home. I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

They agreed, their voice quiet and shaky, and you hung up, beginning to drive to your new task.

It was no secret your town had a problem with the supernatural. That was the whole reason you lived here.

‘The town witch’ was what they called you. You remember moving to this small town the moment you turned eighteen, the rumors of the paranormal town beckoning you to help. With potions and incantations by your side, you were the best damn thing this place had ever gotten. But that was six years ago, and you were young and naive. The scars and burns that riddled your body only served to prove your progress, marking your place in this town permanently.

You sighed, your grip on your steering wheel weak. You were, after all, the only help these people had. Late night calls like this were beginning to become much too common recently, leading you to wonder if something, or someone, new was beginning to pester this poor town.

You arrived at the house, the thunderstorm only helping to provide a stereotypical atmosphere for you to work in. You got out your car, pulling your coat tightly against your body, the wind around you strong enough to hinder your footsteps.

The two story home before you rattled in protest, the front door swinging open the moment you got close enough. You felt your heart begin to race, beginning to question if this was truly worth it. It seems that whatever had been pestering the homeowner was no small ghost. Walking inside, you were met with the dark and empty home, the hardwood floor beneath you creaking in protest as you carefully walked around, the house seemingly calming the moment you entered.

You breathed in slowly, attempting to steady your mind as you surveyed the house, recalling what the homeowner told you before hanging up. This had been going on for a while, but it seems that it only recently became too much for them. Whatever was in this home really liked the attention.

Before you were able to take another step forward, you were thrown off your feet, slamming into the wall to your left, the many picture frames and decorations falling before you with a loud crash. The door slammed shut, and you covered your head, bracing yourself as you felt the glass shards begin to be directed towards you.

It’s here, and it’s angry.

Just as the chaos around you finally dulled down, you were met with the sight of the trophy shelf in front of you beginning to shake, your eyes widening as you began to run. You muttered a quick incantation to help shield you, the dull sounds of impact that began to pound against your shield only serving to make you run faster.

The hallway in front of you suddenly seemed never-ending, it’s violet wallpaper becoming harder to see the more you ran. Was the house layout always like this? The hallway suddenly ended, leading you to an open room, quickly recognizing it as the living room. The lights suddenly flickered on, disturbing your concentration as you noticed a shadow walk past one of the doorways.

Seemingly knowing you perfectly, the spirit took this small wavering to throw a book in your direction, narrowly missing your face as you ducked to the side, only to get knocked to your knees as you felt a kick to your back, your disturbed concentration causing your spell to be broken.

You turned around in a haste, summoning your shield once more as you unsheathed the knife you had in your coat pockets.

“Show yourself!” You barked out, standing up as you surveyed the room. “I know you’re here.”

Silence.

The howling wind outside stopped, the flickering lights suddenly still at the sound of your voice. You gripped the handle of the knife harder, trying to not let the exhaustion seep into you. The lights began to slowly dim, a lit ember flickering in front of you, only to be followed by many more, swirling into a raging fire directly in front of you. You jumped back at the heat, the familiar sight making you frown in anticipation.

“You look tired,” the voice said, as smooth and elegant as you first remembered it, “Maybe I could fix that.”

Standing in front of you was no other than Yeonjun. Clad in black, his dark eyes stared into yours as he towered over you, his platform boots shining underneath the dull lights, his hair slicked back and pushed away from his face save for a few strands that hung to frame his face.

“Yeonjun.” You said, a feeling of anger stirring inside you the longer you stared at him

“It’s so nice to hear my name come from you again,” he sighed, taking a step toward you, only for you to step back in retaliation.

Yeonjun was none other than the first demon you tried to expel when you first came here. You had fought with every single potion and spell you spent years perfecting, only to leave hospitalized and unsure that he would return. However, as the years passed and no sign of him appeared, you had assumed that you had succeeded in your battle against him, any signs of hauntings or poltergeists disappearing after that day.

“You,” you snapped, everything finally piecing everything together. “You’re behind everything that’s been happening recently, aren’t you?” You took another step back as he began to laugh, throwing his head back as if you had just told him the funniest thing in the world. Slowly, he calmed himself down, his eyes playful as he took his sweet time responding to you.

“Maybe, why?” He said, beginning to walk towards you slowly. You held your ground, concentrating on keeping your shield steady, they grip on your knife tightening. He stopped centimeters away from it, the aura of the shield humming as his clothes grazed the perimeter, shocks emitting on impact.

“I missed you, you know,” He muttered, head leaning towards you teasingly as he stood just far enough to not be blasted away from your shield. “It wasn’t fun hopping from town to town, trying to mess with other witches that resided there. They were just too…”

“Weak.”

You were barely given a moment before the sight of Yeonjun’s bright eyes filled your vision, the feeling of a scorching heat overtaking your senses.

Yeonjun had trapped you in a ring of fire.

A pretty small one, too.

Slightly panicked, you looked around for any place you could escape, the memories of the last time you got so close to Yeonjun warning you to get as far from him as you could, only to find that it was just you and him, trapped in a space that wouldn’t even allow you to shift backwards.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice taunting as he waited for your next move, “Claustrophobic?”

The weapon in your hand began to heat up, your mind working its hardest to form a plan that would work and let you come out alive. You already knew what this fire around you would do; It wasn’t a simple flame, and the scar on your chest that throbbed painfully in this demonic presence was enough proof of that.

The moment you had healed from your first encounter with Yeonjun, you had put all of the knowledge you had acquired from experience and older, more experienced witches into putting a weapon that would help you with violent demonic problems like him. It had taken you weeks of pure isolation and meditation to engrave the correct energy into the weapon, afraid to make any mistake that could lead to something drastic. By the time you were finished putting the last few touches on the weapon, (a protective incation; the words engraving themselves in fine print letter by letter as you poured the last of your energy into it,) you could barely stand, landing yourself at the house of a medic that specialized with witches.

“You’re lucky that you managed to come out of this with just drained energy,” He had told you one day, standing next to your cot and handing you a homemade medicine; its taste was horrendous, but it did the job.

“I’ve dealt with witches, succeeding or not, that had come out in a much worse condition. You’re very powerful, that much I can tell.” He confessed, his face sobering as he remembered why it was that you were there, “Whatever it is that you’re dealing with, I wish you luck.”

And now here you stand, the results of all your hard work and patience vibrating the more you concentrate on defeating the demon in front of you.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to try and hurt me with that,” Yeonjun laughed, watching the way your grip tightened the moment he landed his eyes on it, your knuckles turning white with the force, “You know your little knife can’t hurt me, right?”

While it was true that regular knives were nothing more but toys to him, you knew that what you were holding was not a regular knife.

But he didn’t.

You remained silent as you stared at him, quirking a brow to silently challenge him. He scoffed, rolling his eyes at your demeanor.

“Giving me the silent treatment now?” He said, pausing for a moment before looking back at you, “Fine. You think you can hurt me with that little kitchen knife?” With a single movement of his hands, the fire dwindled, going down until it was no more,

“Go ahead. Give it your best shot.”

You suppressed a smile.

Yeonjun was a lot of things. Strong, powerful, smart, hell, he was a bit attractive too.

But above all, he was cocky.

Slowly, and as subtly as you could, you adjusted your stance, your eyes never leaving his, ready to let your shield down to attack him.

“No games?”

His lips quirked up, his hands coming up to his sides to show you his full vulnerability.

“Fair and square. Here, I’ll even let you make the first move.” His pitch black eyes twinkled with his signature playfulness, his thoughts displaying to you loud and clear;

I thought you were smarter than this.

You fought the urge to scoff, and instead surveyed him for a moment, stepping back to give yourself a bit more room. He watched intently, his body language open and relaxed, clearly not threatened by you.

You lunged forward.

Before Yeonjun could move away, you swung your knife towards him, your stomach sinking as you missed your target, his neck, and sliced at his face instead. His head turned to the side, a hiss emitting from him as he turned back to you, the slash on his cheek burning into his skin, going deeper into his face as he began to bleed.

Except that wasn’t blood that came out of his face.

A thin liquid, pure black and mixed with the poison of your blade, trickled down his face. Slowly, he brought up a hand to his cheek, touching tentatively at his wound, observing the black substance that poured out of him, before turning back to you.

“Come on, you little vixen,” he groaned, the nickname that he called you from your first meeting rolling off his tongue smoothly, “Not the face!”

Cocky bastard.

But now that your first move was over, Yeonjun took a minute to crack his neck, the black liquid trailing down to his neck as he slowly rolled his head back, pausing for a second before straightening up, smiling at you sweetly.

“My turn.”

Right as you were going to activate your shield once more, Yeonjun ran to you, landing a solid punch to your stomach, sending you flying to the wall behind you, the wind being knocked out of you on impact as you crumbled to the floor. Looking up, you saw him lunge at you once more, mumbling your incantation for your shield, successfully knocking him back at the last second. Tumbling backward, Yeonjun layed on the floor as you slowly got back up, using the wall behind you as support, the wild and unhinged sound of Yeonjun’s laugh echoing off the walls.

“Oh, my little vixen,” he began, sitting up as he watched you regain your composure. “I missed this. I must admit, you have gotten stronger.” Standing back up slowly, you felt the room slowly heat up. You shifted, knowing what it was that he was about to do next.

“It’s exciting.”

Running towards him, you did your best to avoid the trail of fire that was now after you, ready to swing your knife at him as you got closer. Just as you were close enough to him, you swung towards his neck once more, the predictable movement allowing Yeonjun to step aside, only to get a kick to his chest, successfully knocking him down and allowing you to dive down, the fire that was about to pierce the center of your back flying instead to the wall in front of you, the loud boom barely covering Yeonjun’s scream as you dug your knife into his shoulder.

“Fuck!”

You towered over him, straddling his waist and putting as much weight as you could to keep him down. His hands immediately reached up to clasp over yours, attempting to pull the weapon out, only to have you retaliate by digging it into his skin more, his cursing filling up your ears as he struggled against you.

Your jaw clenched and you felt yourself begin to sweat, the same ring of fire from before beginning to enclose around you slowly with no signs of stopping. Your hands began to burn underneath Yeonjun’s touch, obviously his doing as he seemed to concentrate on attempting to scare you off with the same fire that landed you on the brink of death from your first encounter.

But you refused.

You refused to allow the demon to live any longer, to continue to terrorize innocent and defenseless people in your town, or in this world at all. And now that you had him under your grip, your hands struggling to successfully behead him, you weren’t going to let a little bit of pain scare you away.

Your hands began to numb under the heat of his skin, popping noises emitting from under his iron grip. He was attempting to break your hands, to render them useless, but with the adrenaline coursing through your veins, you pushed on, biting back your own groans of pain and trying to concentrate on your current task, and nothing else.

“Come on my vixen, give it up,” he said, his voice laced with pain and false confidence that he attempted to use in order to make you believe that he remained unaffected. But as your knife inched towards his neck, piercing through his skin and emitting a loud sizzling sound, you knew that it was all a bluff by the way he winced, a low grunt of pain escaping him.

“I really don’t want to hurt you, you know,” he confessed, the ring of fire snapping angrily at your legs, the heat making you want to faint from overexertion. But you continued to push on, much to Yeonjun’s annoyance. “Fine, you asked for it.”

He screwed his eyes shut, the ring of fire slightly calming down, along with his iron grip on your hands. Just as you were about to take this chance and behead him, you felt something coming.

You turned around.

A ball of pitch black fire, resembling a pure void, flew towards you.

It all happened so fast. Throwing you off of him, Yeonjun staggered away from you, watching silently as the void of black washed over you, your screams of agony causing him to look away, the slightest bit of pity washing over him.

This was it, wasn’t it?

You couldn’t move as this void of fire washed over you, a feeling as though every bone in your body was being broken and you were being turned inside out coarsed through your system, your screams ripping through your throat, the wish for death appearing in your heart.

But right as you felt as though you were going to black out, it stopped.

And Yeonjun stood over you.

He watched as you lay there, completely paralyzed with pain. It took a bit before you began to breathe again, your chest barely rising, the air flowing into you causing you pain. Slowly, you opened your eyes, Yeonjun’s face inches from yours, the dark liquid from his wounds dripping onto you.

“I almost feel sorry,” he whispered, his lips grazing yours. You tried to hold on, to finish your job, but the very effort of having to breathe exhausted you beyond belief. Slowly, he pressed his lips to yours, the kiss more of a half hearted apology as he lingered there for a second, his lips still against yours. His mind reeled at the feeling, and he pulled away, a soft smile on his face as he slowly brought his hand down, hesitating before caressing your exhausted face slowly, spreading his own blood on your face.

He grinned.

“I look forward to our next battle.”

And he was gone.

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you collapsed.

[jarofstyles]

"If you let me in, I’m ready to give you what I couldn’t before"

Oh some angst we are 👀👀

warning: implied cheating (in a sense?) angst angst angst

If you enjoy this, check out our Patreon!!

_____

“If y’let me in, I’m ready to give you what I couldn’t before.”

He wrung his hands as he stood in front of her door. His stomach a mess of anxiety, sweat on his brow, he had realized just how badly he fucked up when her face barely moved. Stoic. This wasn’t his Y/N.

It had started off as simply fuck buddies. Friends with benefits. And it progressed through the months. They did things that friends with benefits shouldn’t. Snuggles and kisses and sweet nothing. Picnics and movie dates and private fluff that really had her believing that they were more than just random fucks.

Harry had wanted to have his cake and eat it too. When Y/N had opened up his phone to some sexting going on back and forth between Harry and some sorority girl, she felt her heart shatter. Seeing him talk about it wanting to taste someone else and wanting to see how tight she was, making plans to see her the day Y/N was going out of town… it had utterly wrecked her.

When confronted, Harry panicked. They had never claimed exclusivity but everything had hinted at it. His idea was that when she was away, he could play a bit and come back to have the soft snuggles and hot sex with her. There was nothing wrong with tasting a few more things, right? I didn’t matter that his stomach didn’t felt right doing it.

His mates had been on his back about the fact he wasn’t dating her and also not taking advantage of being in college. They’d gotten to his head, and he was set up with Stacey and she was good looking, decent enough. She was willing and eager and They’d texted back and forth, Harry not thinking twice about leaving his phone in the bed with Y/N as he went to the bathroom.

When she opened his phone with the few dings it had, she felt like she could throw up.

S: I can’t wait until you come over. I haven’t been fucked in agesssss.

S: honestly? I’ve had my eye on you for a while.

S: I got a set I think you may like. You said you liked red, right? ;)

Attached was a photo of a toned body in a red lace outfit, nipples able to be seen and a bare bottom with a hand covering her cunt.

S: if you can find some time to come sooner… I’ll be waiting. Xxxx

Y/N felt like she couldn’t breathe. Hand shaking slightly as she stood up, grabbing her clothes and hastily putting them on. She was so fucking stupid. So dumb. Harry was like everyone else. And it was her fault for letting this go on as much as it did.

Harry’s brows furrowed as he walked out of the bathroom to see her hastily getting dressed, tears streaming down her face. His heart broke, hating seeing her any type of upset. It was instinct, rushing to grab her and pull her into his body.

“Baby… wha’s happened? What’s the mat-“ he was interrupted by a shove, loosing his balance and falling on to the bed.

“What’s the matter? I’m…. Please, don’t touch me.” She said quietly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shove you. But this… it isn’t going to work anymore Harry. I obviously was thinking it was more than this was, and that’s my fault. You stated your opinions and wants and I was fine with that at the time-“ her voice cracked, and Harry’s stomach dropped. What was she talking about? She couldn’t know….

“Your texts. You’ve got a lovely girl named Stacey who has a nice set for you to see when y’go over on the day I leave to go back home for a day.” The bitterness was tasted even on Harry’s tongue, his throat feeling thick as he stood up. She wasn’t supposed to see those.

Shit. Shit. Why did he feel like this, like he had cheated when they weren’t anything? Why did he feel like he wanted to get sick and cry?

“We-we arent exclusive! We aren’t and y’said that was fine, we arent.” He sputtered out, making it worse. Her face dropped and her eyes hit the ground, the silence broken by a sniffle.

“Yeah. We aren’t, I guess. I dunno… when it’s a few months in and you do all those… dates, and y’introduce me to your mum and sister And have me come out every night and call me your girl… it all seemed like more. Everyone keeps askin’ me how long we’ve been dating and I suppose I’m an idiot for saying a few months when…. I jumped the gun and believed that everything you said… that I’m the most beautiful girl and youre so lucky to have me, that I’m the best you’ve ever had…. It’s easy to believe it when you must have so much practice saying it.” She laughed bitterly, throwing her shoes on her feet, throwing Harry’s shirt off and pulling on her own.

It felt like he got punched in the stomach. Realizing how badly he had fucked up, bur his ego wasn’t allowing him to admit it. The technicalities saved him, Didnt they?

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He said though the tears burned behind his eyes. He refused to show how it was effecting him. Instead of being hit, shoved again, yelled at, she just nodded, shocking him.

“Yeah. I don’t know… I thought… was living in a fantasy land. You were giving me what I wanted but it’s obvious now that you were playing a game. You can’t actually give me what I want. I wanted to be with you.” She pushed the hair out of her face, Harry helplessly sitting on the bed as she gathered her things. The panic was setting in but he didn’t dare make a noise about how the makeup wipes being thrown into her bag tore him apart. She was leaving, leaving.

“We don’t have to- we don’t hav’ta stop, Y/N. Why?” He knew he sounded stupid when her head snapped to him, irritation covering her face.

“I know that my pussy is apparently too good and you continued this whole charade to keep it, but you can’t give me what I want. I want a boyfriend. I want someone to love me and give me those forehead kisses and say those beautiful things you said to me and mean them. You can’t give me that, can you?” The last piece of hope had shattered when he stayed silent, the silence staying around until she slammed the door shut and walked out of his life.

It hasn’t been too long since then, and he knew immediately that he was fucked up. His texts and called remained ignored and unopened. Her friends had told him to fuck off, and he understood. Mitch had smacked him upside the head and he couldn’t stomach the looks Sarah and Evie had given him when they’d found out why Y/N wasn’t tagging along anymore.

So that’s how he ended up outside her apartment door, knocking and speaking through the door. “Please. I’m a fucking idiot, Y/N … I’m an arrogant son of a bitch and I didn’t want to back down but please let me in. I meant ever bring I said to you before then. I haven’t fucked anyone else since you. Please let me in.” His voice broke, resting his head against the cool wood. “Let me give you what you want.”

His breathing caught as he heard the click of the lock.

[osakunt]

「𝟭:𝟮𝟯 𝗽𝗺」 - 𝗧𝗼𝗷𝗶.𝗙

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"Megumi, you can let go now"

"Thank you do being an amazing mother figure in my life"

"Of course sweetheart. Thank you for letting me be that figure" smiling you ruffle the teenage boys hair glad to see that he was alright. When he came back looking dead from retrieving Sukuna's finger and fighting the curse with the death paintings you were rushing towards him once Yuuji and Nobara came running towards you saying that your beloved child was dead.

"Let me make sure that head of yours is alright. You were bleeding pretty badly when you got back" you inspect him making sure he was fully okay before dressing the wound on his head and kissing it, giving him another motherly hug.

"There she is !!! (Y/n)-san !!!"

"Not now, child" you quickly hush up Gojo who walked in whining about a small cut on his hand he had done to himself on purpose to go see you.

"What's the real reason you're here ?"

"To greet the most gorgeous women on earth" he smiles hugging you, smooshing his cheek with yours.

"Bullshit. You want something. What is it ?" You look up from the twin dogs Megumi had summoned.

Gojo smiles swiping his phone then turning towards you shoving it up to you face. Snatching the phone from away from your face you look at the picture of the man. Your eyebrow quirking up you let out a low chuckle.

"Greet him for me" you give back the phone, going back to check on the dogs in front of you. Megumi starting to get curious he looks over at the phone that was now locked.

Forgetting about it in a second he turns to you asking if his dogs were fine. " they'll be fine. Just let 'em rest." Sending him off and making sure he was no longer around your infirmary - you close the door and lock it.

Sitting back down on your rolling chair you look at the blue eyes dumb ass in front of you. "Is he back or did you stalk him ?" 

Taking his sun glasses off he gives you an offended look ,clutching his chest. "That hurted you know !!!"

"hUrTeD....same lol"

"But no. I was walking by when I saw him. Just had to take a picture ya know ? I mean you did have a little fling with him after all~" he boops your nose cackling

"I sure fucking did. Best sex I've ever had, like bro what !! All in all fuck him. He ain't shit" you turn to your phone pointing at the pigtailed male on the screen "He can get it though" you smirk at the younger male whose eyes went wide for a minute.

"The death painting ?!! But he's like 150 or something !!" Gojo yells finding it a bit weird.

"Close the door for me, I'll be heading out now. Might stop by that bakery Kento talks about" 

"Oh oh get me something"

"Sure whatever"

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"Come again !!" The girl from behind the counter smiles, waving you off as you smile leaving the establishment already digging in your bag of baked goods.

"Damn, sis knows who to make a mean ass cookie" munching away on the soft cookie you turn a corner to a busy street killing any little cursed creature that popped up in your sight.

Digging in the back for something more to munch on, your arm gets grabbed dragging you into some ally.

"Of course you aren't. You kill curses for a living. Killed a man too but that's not my business" The man speaks up, putting his gun away in his pants and letting you go.

"Toji,huh. So why'd you bring me to an ally ? Looks suth af fuk" your words muffled from the piece of cake you had taken a bite from.

Grabbing the plastic container and fork from you hands, Toji presses you against a wall kissing your jaw line. "Long time no see, (y/n)" his voice seductively going into your ear.

"We saw each other last week,sir"

"Exactly. last week." He kisses your lips tasting the chocolate frosted cake that was suppose to be for Gojo.

"How's Megumi ?" His eyes soften as soon as he asked for his son.

You smile patting his chest "Got into it with some cursed thingy mabob. Patched him up and sent him to rest. He'll be fine though. Gave him some pain killers to chill him out. Probably knocked out, from how strong those are"

"Please take care of him for me. I trust that he'll be safe if you're around" Toji sighs burying his face into your hair as he came in for a hug.

"Sooooo no sex ?" You joke then feel his arms tighten around you. "Fine, fine. Megumi is in good hands with me. The work he does is dangerous - can't lie about that. I'll always be there to intervene if things go wrong."

His once tight embrace now looser from getting the assurance that you'd do anything for the kid. And of course you would. You were the first person after Gojo who he was introduced to. Having more trust in you he became like your own. Though you and Toji did indeed have a little something something going on, you never had anything against the boy. Now all you'd do with Toji was hook up when needed.

"I wish I got to meet his mom. Bet she was nice."

"She was. Thank you for stepping in"

"I'm tired of you people saying "thank you"- even though I knew whose kid he was, I just felt like I needed to be in his life. Not because of you, cause fuck you but because of him. As soon as Gojo brought him into the school, first thing the kid did was look at me and ran towards me. After that I felt an attachment to him. As is I were his guardian. By all means I did it willingly. No need to thank me" you finally hug back receiving a kiss on your lips.

"I know but still thank you......So back to what I was saying...." Toji unlatches himself from you giving you a knowing look, making your way out the ally.

"Yea I'm down for some rough, back blowing sex" you beam at the male making him wonder why you were like this.

"Don't shy away tonight either,mister." You smirk; that same smirk disappearing when the cake you were still eating was taken from your grasp and eaten.

"You know what ? I don't think I wanna smoosh with you anymore. By the way where's the ugly worm that's always around you ?"

Feeling himself revive at your antics, Toji swings an arm around you to bring you closer, kissing your temple. "Sure are the charmer, ain't you ?"

「𝘼 𝙛𝙚𝙬 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪」

"I thought she said she had ended things with Megumi's dad." Gojo glares at the back of your head not understanding why you were with Toji.

"Probably fuck buddies" Shoko shrugs letting out the smoke from her lungs.

"Probably, but she said she wanted the pigtailed death painting !!"

"And she'll get him. Just let her do Toji, first. Take a picture so we have proof that we saw them. She won't tell us the details unless we show evidence"

"She also ate the cake that was suppose to be for me.."

"Fuck man. Let's go get your damn cake. Fucking cry baby, I swear" Shoko drags the white haired male to the same bakery, buying him three slices of the same cake you had gotten to shut his ass up.

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[lizzielikeborden]

Fever Dream

Request: No, I literally just listened to the song 

Author’s Note: I don’t know when all of these are gonna upload bc tumblr is really tryna make me throw my laptop in a pool. 

Summary: How it feels to love Rafe Cameron hurts but in the best way. 

Warnings: TOXICITY, violence, mental issues, and some angsty fluff

Based on the song "Fever Dream by Jillian Rossi

And you’re so bad for me, but I want your love every morning

Breaking up with Rafe was much harder than any normal breakup. The two of you two were absolutely attached to each other in the most poisonous way. On the outside there were so many things that looked absolutely normal. The hugs, the kisses, the laughs, the cute pictures. The most picture perfect two people anyone could look at. But, it wasn’t like that at all, the extreme arguments, Rafe’s anger issues mixed with manipulative behavior, and worse of all his bad choices that he felt were your mess to clean up. There was no saying no to him, he got what he wanted, what he needed no matter what. 

“Hey are you okay?” Chris, the new boy you had gotten with directly after Rafe put a hand on your shoulder. You had been spacing out the window for much too long. 

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine just looking at the sky.” You lied and nodded your head as if you had to also believe what you had just said. 

“Alright well it’s still early, come lay back down.” He moved his hand from your shoulder, down your arm, and put your hand in his. 

You didn’t grip his hand tightly but gently put pressure down as he guided you back to bed. Robotically, you got in and put your side of the covers over yourself, rolling over to not face Chris. 

Waking up with him, but I wish you’d call me

You were not able to sleep, and it had been like that since you texted Rafe, not able to face him, and without an explanation you broke up with him. You felt terrible to do it, but decided that it had to be done. In your head you thought it wouldn’t affect you, that you’d be able to move on easy. And for the first few days it was, you were full of energy and happy, that’s where Chris came from. But laying there without Rafe you would’ve rather been sleepless with him screaming and going through every emotion in front of you than this. 

Turning on your phone you turned your brightness not wanting to wake Chris as you heard his soft snores lay next to you. You hadn’t been on your phone in so long, it was like it didn’t matter anymore. It could’ve been smashed or thrown in the ocean and it wouldn’t have mattered. The moment you opened it you were ready to cry. Your backscreen was still you and Rafe. 

60 Missed Calls from Wards Least Favorite❤️

You typed in your password, Rafe’s birthday and went into the call log. Almost every call had a voicemail. Reaching over to the nightstand, you got your earbuds and put them in. The first few were incredibly mean, he was spewing curse words and called you every single name in the book. He also blamed you for every future poor choice he would ever make, but then told you that he didn’t care and that you had no impact on his life whatsoever. But the last one was the one that got you,

“Hey, look, i’m sorry. An-and I know i’ve said that probably over a hundred times. I know you’ve given me every single chance to fix things and those only last for a short period of time before I go and fuck up again. But, I really do wanna be better and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t figure it out and no one but you has ever given a shit. Please call me back, please. At least let me know you’re safe and alive. I’ve never seen you go so MIA before. I talked to all your friends who would answer me and they haven’t heard from you since you texted me that either. I know you don’t think I do and I know for a fact sometimes I didn’t. But I love you and I couldn’t accept that. I know that now, and I miss you more than I thought I could miss anything. I’d do anything for you. I-I’m gonna h-hang up now. I love you.” Rafe’s voice went in and out of being stable, he had went from just crying to crying all over again. Clearly he was unstable, I mean he always had been but now it was because of you. Tears fell down your cheeks, quickly you got up out of bed and locked yourself in the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink with a mirror attached you silently screamed and sobbed unable to contain the feelings. 

I still miss our extremes like, you ‘come over’ texts at midnight

A sound like an alarm was going off directly next to your head. When it stopped you rolled over with a groan checking your phone. It was a Saturday so it made no sense that an alarm would be ringing, that’s when you saw 4 texts from Rafe and 6 missed calls. 

Are you asleep -  Wards Least Favorite❤️, 11:56 PM

Hey come over -  Wards Least Favorite❤️, 11:58 PM

Hello wake up I want you over here-  Wards Least Favorite❤️, 12:01 AM

Taking a deep breath in you knew that if you didn’t go over there he was gonna be pissed at your door either that same night or the next morning super early. Slipping out of bed and turning on the main light to your room you found a shirt of his, you already had some shorts on so you stuck with those, got some socks that did not match at all, and got some shoes on. Grabbing your phone off your bed you didn’t even worry about a charger or anything that you’d usually bring with you. You had a hair tie on your wrist that you had forgotten to take off the night before. Leaving your room and getting in your car you were still half asleep, luckily the roads were completely empty and Rafe only lived 15 minutes away. 

Once you pulled into the driveway and parked behind Rafe’s car in your designated spot you walked up to the door, the door busted open. 

“That took you forever.” Rafe raised his voice with you. 

“I’m sorry, I was sleeping.” He grabbed your arm and pulled you up the stairs into his room silently. 

“I didn’t ask if you were sleeping I asked you to come over here.” He shut his door with both of you inside. 

You didn’t answer him, silently he stepped closer to you and pulled you close to his chest, wrapping his arms around, resting his head on top of yours. His grip got tight and his loosened one arm to press your head even closer to him. You stood like that for quite some time as he swayed the two of you, you were almost asleep when he pulled back.

“Let’s go to bed.” He walked away from you, leaving you facing the door. 

You turned around and got in his bed with him, and then he started going on about his day. Some guy had cut him off when he was driving and then that same guy showed up at the same restaurant he was eating at. Then Rafe proceeded to confront him and he pretended not know what happened. He continued on about his day. And you gave him short responses back trying to stay awake and he held you and ranted on and on. You weren’t getting any sleep that night. But at least he was getting out his emotions and not directing them at you. That time. 

Rolling out of bed for your lies

“Get. Up.” Rafe was shaking you violently, his tight grip on your arm was just getting more and more tight.

Without a word you sat up and automatically got out of bed confused as to what was happening that required you to be awake at 5:00 AM. Your eyes moved from his alarm clock to his figure pacing and yanking at his hair. Suddenly you were more awake, like the sun had just risen even though it was pitch black outside. Fear struck you the faster he started to pace, you didn’t dare move, if he was a car you would’ve already been hit. 

“SO YOU’RE JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND LET ME FALL APART!” He turned toward you, pupils the size of saucers. 

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you shakily began to step toward him as quickly as your body would let you. Your breath was completely gone as your heart quickened. He was on drugs, he was out of it completely out of it. There was no telling what he was gonna do. But you knew that if you didn’t do something this wasn’t gonna go well. So you just stood in front of him as stopped pacing and grabbed his hand. The fear inside of you was ready to make you pass out as he squeezed your hand tighter. You didn’t dare close your eyes. 

“ARE YOU GONNA SAY ANYTHING OR JUST LET ME STAY IN MY OWN HEAD?” His grip on your hand became so tight he could easily break a finger. 

“I-I love you.” Your voice went from a whisper to normal knowing that if you just whispered he would’ve screamed again.

He released your hand and pushed you out of his path of pacing,

“No you don’t, no one does.” He hit the wall and dust flew in the air as the wall concaved in where his fist was. “You’re one of the many reasons that i’m like this.” He spoke at a normal volume with harsh words.

“Rafe, y-you y-you’re just out of your h-head. Whatever you took has you m-messed up.” You took quick strides backwards toward the bed.

“REALLY? YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME I TOOK SOMETHING. I’M NOT HIGH!” He lied right to your face in pure anger.

This was nothing new, he would never admit what he did. He took strides toward the bed right to where you stood, he grabbed your face and made you look at him. He was so close your noses were touching. 

“DO I LOOK HIGH TO YOU?” He screamed directly in your face, and that time you did shut your eyes, his grip of your face was too tight but he felt you jerk back. 

Before you could answer him he crashed his lips against yours, not letting his grip change on your upper jaw. Carefully you placed your hands gently on his face. When he released your face you quickly dropped your hands. 

“See, i’m not on drugs.” He stroked your cheek gently. 

Putting glitter on my blind eyes

Midsummers was gonna be fun, you and Rafe had been getting along a lot better. After his last explosion on drugs you left him alone for days and told him that he had to clean up. Ever since he had stopped doing drugs he was still not mentally stable but he wasn’t as impulsive and physically aggressive. You were in his bathroom finishing your makeup when you heard a knock on the door frame. 

“Yes?” You didn’t turn your head as you were doing eye makeup and didn’t wanna stab yourself in the eye. 

“You look beautiful sweetheart.” Rafe came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you once you had raised from your bent over position. 

“Thank you,” He turned you around and kissed your lips, “sorry it took some extra time, Wheezie needed some help fixing the back of her hair and evening out her eye makeup.” 

“You’re all good.” He spun you back to face the mirror, “Smile.” 

You stepped back and pressed against him as he pulled out his phone and took a mirror picture of the two of you. Directly after he took it he sent it to you, knowing that you’d want it. 

“Thank you, now cmon we gotta go get in position.” You grabbed his hand and you led him down the stairs to where the two of you were supposed to be. 

“Ah just in time. You look beautiful Y/n” Ward spoke to you as he fixed the cuffs on his sleeves. 

“Thank you Mr. Cameron.” You smiled at him as he locked arms with Rosie.

“Now you know you’re a part of this family, call me Ward.” He turned around and winked at you. 

You just smiled and gave him a nod, locking arms with Rafe. Behind you were Wheezie and Sarah doing the same thing. As all of you made your way down the stairs of the house everyone clapped and the party commenced. For the most part Rafe stayed glued to you. The two of you talked to his friends, danced, took pictures, ate, and then took some more pictures. Another slow song was turning on and you noticed Wheezie sitting by herself on her phone. 

“Hey if you don’t mind it looks like your sister needs a dance.” You looked at Rafe where you stood as his friends approached him. 

“Go for it, i’ll just be with them when you’re done.” You kissed him on the cheek and walked over to Wheezie.

“Hey,” You extended your hand to her and bowed, “would you like to dance beautiful?” 

“Yes!” She laughed and took your hand.

The two of you swayed and lip synched to the words. Past her head you saw Ward smiling at the two of you. You stepped back keeping her hand in yours and spun her around, pulling her back to you she was smiling ear to ear. Once the song was over you kissed the top of her hand and thanked her for the dance. She then ran over to her dad and Rose to tell them all about it as if they weren’t watching which was your que to find Rafe. 

You looked to where they were standing 3 minutes ago and they were no where to be found, you went on the deck, looked in the parking area, the tables, and then you quietly stepped inside. There was Rafe snorting coke off his fathers expensive table with Topper and Kelce standing there encouraging his behavior. Anger and sadness became a ying and yang as you stepped out and slammed the door behind you. Instead of confronting him you found Sarah and decided to dance with her, then Wheezie ran over and joined you. 

About an hour later Rafe came out of the house, you pretended not to see him and continued talking to his sisters. He walked straight for the three of you, you could feel his eyes on you. 

“Well hello.” Sarah spoke sarcastically and rolled her eyes taking another sip of her drink. 

“Oh shut the fuck up Sarah, I didn’t come over here for you, the party wrapping up, I came over here for Y/n.” He made his way behind you and put his hands on your shoulders. 

“Rude.” She got up and took Wheezie with her, she could see that he was on drugs. 

He took Wheezie’s seat and sat really close to you. 

“So what were you up to?” You laid your head on his shoulder.

“I was just talking to my friends. God. Do you always think i’m doing something bad.” He sounded angry but let you stay on his shoulder.

“No, I was just curious honey.” You lied and held his hand. He was supposed to be clean. He was doing so well. You pretended like this didn’t happen every time you told him he had to clean up. 

Loving you wasn’t as it seemed, finding good in bad and ugly

“HOW IS THIS MY FAULT!” Rafe screamed, he wasn’t high but he was angry.

“Had you not disappeared for hours we wouldn’t be late! You don’t like when your dad yells at you but yet you do shit like this knowing damn well he’s gonna hate us being late.” You raised your voice, but nothing like him. 

“He doesn’t run my life! Neither do you! It’s none of your business where I was or what I was getting. Now you are making me more late by standing here and screaming at me!” He lowered his voice to yours. 

“Fine, then lets leave.” You pointed and the door and then slammed your arm down walking out. 

The second you were outside the door he grabbed your wrist, 

“Say you’re sorry, and don’t you dare speak to me like that.” He yanked you closer to his body.

You yanked your wrist out of his grip and ran down the stairs and into his car. He was soon to follow and slammed his door, he didn’t buckle his seat belt, and sped out of the driveway into the road. The ride to the beach was dead silent. 

“There you two are.” Rose had her hands on her hips and glared at the two of you. 

“Yeah here we are, where’s dad?” He shot back with attitude clearly not caring that she was upset at the fact that you were 20 minutes late.

“He’s over there on the picnic blanket and he’s not too happy about this either.” She gave Rafe a mean look and pointed at Ward. 

He grabbed your hand gently and lead the two of you over to the Cameron’s picnic spot on the beach. Ward was paying no attention as Wheezie was talking to him, and neither did Rafe as he interupted her, 

“Hey dad we’re here.” He sat down across from his dad and you sat next to him closest to Wheezie. 

“I see that, I told you what time to get here so that you would show up on time. Not so you could be late.” He was looking directly at his son not once glancing at you. 

Before Rafe could start an argument with him you spoke, “I’m sorry we were late, I lost my phone in his room.” He still didn’t take his eyes off of his son,

“Y/n, you don’t have to cover for him, i’ve known you long enough to know that you are punctual and don’t forget what time to be places let alone lose your phone. And even if that were the case, Rafe knows his own room, he could’ve been helpful and found it.” Rafe took in a deep breath clenching his jaw. 

“Sorry dad, I left the house and left her there, I didn’t get back until we were already late.” He locked eyes with his father who’s expression didn’t change.

“I’m aware it was your fault Rafe, you’re lucky to have Y/n at least she puts up with your shit.” He finally looked away from his son and took a drink out of his wine glass. After that he got up and waved Rafe to come with him. 

“Yknow you two are perfect.” Wheezie looked at you smiling. 

“ I wouldn’t say that.” You turned to her.

“I would. Rafe is a lot to handle and you do so well. You make him laugh and smile, plus you’re cute together. I can tell that no matter what the two of you are gonna make it.” She grabbed some snacks out of the basket in front of the two of you. 

You just smiled at her. Maybe she saw something that you didn’t, maybe all of the craziness and all of the big issues were worth staying through. You were cute together and you had some really wonderful moments together. Maybe all of the pain was worth those few moments. Everyone always told you how wonderful the two of you were together and how happy you looked together. You were the only one who saw anything else. So then you must’ve been wrong.

Loving you was a fever dream

A knock on the door made your mind stop finding reasons to cry. Your face was beet red, eyes were swollen, and your cheeks were stained with water marks. Taking three deep breaths you spoke, 

“Yeah?” You said loudly pretending you hadn’t been crying. 

No one answered there was just another few knocks, then you looked around and realized you had left your phone on the bed. Unlocked. Chris had to have gone through it or at least seen what you were listening to. Shit. You thought to yourself as you splashed cold water on your face Drying off with one of the towels that were under the sink in the open shelves. You opened the door and your eyes got huge, taking in a deep breath you shook your head thinking you weren’t seeing what you thought you were.

“Your ex-boyfriend called me.” Rafe stood on the other side of the floor that cut off the bedroom to the bathroom. He left you enough room to shut the door on him. His eyes were also swollen, but his pupils were a normal size, he looked so tired and pale. 

You had no response but removed your hand from the door knob. Placing your hands to your sides you took in a deep breath, Rafe was real, he was standing right in front of you but it all felt like a dream. You knew Chris had left and was no where around. This was it, you knew you were gonna forgive him. That he was gonna go to speak again and you’d just run into his arms and then after the two of you went on and on about your feelings you’d have another long talk about him needing to fix himself and that you’d do anything to help and then you’d be fully made up and back together. But maybe this time everything would be different...

[nastybuckybarnes]

Deep End  -  Six

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 4.6K

A/n: Okie dokie! I’ve got an epilogue planned but I like this. The epilogue will explain shit better but I've known that this would be the end since pretty much the beginning LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

When Steve hears you stop struggling, stop fighting and stop crying, he’s nervous.

It’s been a while since he locked you up there, and he really should check on you soon, if only to make sure the baby’s okay after that stunt you pulled.

He pushes the door to the bedroom open, eyeing your figure carefully.

You look like you’re asleep. If he wasn't so attuned to your body, your heart and your breathing, he wouldn’t have noticed something’s wrong.

Your heart is beating rapidly, far faster than normal. And it’s weaker than usual.

Your breathing is shallow and strained, and your face is lacking its usual healthy glow.

He rushes to your side, tearing the rope from your wrists and touching your face carefully.

Your skin is hot to the touch, and he feels fear settle in his gut.

He doesn’t know what to do, how to help. He’s never really had to help you like this, the doctor’s always been nearby.

He grabs his phone, calling the doctor and pacing nervously.

“Sh-she’s burning up and her breathing is shallow.”

Steve's stomach drops as he listens to the doctor’s instructions, answers his questions and comes to the realization of why you’re like this.

He rolls you onto your left side, tears welling up in his eyes at how unresponsive you are.

The doctor hangs up after telling the super soldier that he’ll be there soon.

His heart is in his throat as he tries to undo the damage of his punishment, putting the evidence back in the box and kicking the rope under the bed.

You’re still unresponsive, heart weak, but your breath sounds a little less strained.

Monster. That’s what you called him. What Natasha called him and what Bucky’s asset called him.

Maybe you’re right.

But he wants you. He needs you. Giving you up would be giving up a piece of his soul and he’s not ready to do that yet.

~*~

The doctor informs him that both you and the baby are okay, but being on your back for so long was compressing a major vein supplying your baby with oxygenated blood. If he’d gotten there any later it might’ve been too late.

With strict instructions to keep you on your left side and make sure you stay hydrated, the doctor takes his leave.

He stays by your side, holding your hand tightly in both of his as he really comes to terms with the fact that it was entirely his fault. He almost killed you and your baby to prove a stupid point. To discourage you from doing the very same thing.

His heart is heavy in his chest as he listens to your heartbeat get stronger, to the baby’s heartbeat continue fluttering like a hummingbird’s.

Those two sounds bring him peace, if only temporarily.

Shattering his peace is the sound of the front door opening, followed by tiny little footsteps clomping up the stairs.

“Mommy! Mommy!”

Sarah.

Steve shoves himself to his feet and quickly leaves the room just as his daughter tries to enter.

“Sarah, mommy’s sleeping.” She frowns up at him and shakes her little blonde head.

“I need to talk to mommy!”

She walks around his legs only for him to scoop her up in his arms.

“She’s sleeping right now, honey.”

Sarah shakes her head angrily, beating her tiny fists against his shoulders.

“Let me go! I want mommy! Mommy!! Put me down!” She starts shrieking. Full-on screaming bloody murder right in his ear, and he loses his grip on the wriggling child.

She slides out of his arms and runs into the bedroom, climbing onto the bed and shaking your shoulder.

“Mommy?” She’s got little tears on her face, and they don’t cease when you don’t wake up.

“Why won’t mommy wake up?!” She looks up at Steve with terror written on her face and it shatters his heart in his chest.

“Sarah, mommy’s sick, okay? I had the doctor come over and he said that she needs to rest and when she wakes up we’re gonna need to make sure she’s got plenty of water, okay?”

Sarah’s big blue eyes are filled with tears and she shakes her head.

“I want mommy!”

She clings to your torso, crying against your shoulder in fear.

“Sarah, honey, mommy’s gonna be okay. You just gotta give her some space, okay? How about I set up a movie for you?” Sarah sniffles and slowly pulls away from you, looking at her father and shaking her head again.

“I want mommy! I hate you!”

Steve then realizes just how crucial you are. How important you are, not only to him but to his daughter as well.

Losing you would hurt so many people.

“Honey, you gotta give mommy and I some space, okay?”

He picks up the five-year-old, despite her quite literally kicking and screaming, and sets her down outside the bedroom.

He shuts the door quickly and locks it even faster.

Sarah stands outside, wailing her head off and pounding on the door with her tiny little fists.

She cries for you, over and over again, and it breaks Steve’s heart.

He’s brought back to what you said about him. About how this isn’t love.

He sits down at your side again, trying desperately to drown out the sound of his daughter crying outside as his thoughts overwhelm him.

He hasn’t been the nicest to you, that he’ll openly admit, and he makes mistakes probably more often than he doesn’t. But he loves you. He needs you.

Tears well up in his eyes and he lets out a shuddering breath.

He’ll make this right. He has to. Sarah deserves a mother, so does your unborn baby. And -though he may not deserve you- he needs you. The monster will be hard to fight, but losing you will be harder.

The damage he’s done might be irreversible, but he’s gonna do what he can to make things right, to give you a better life.

You don’t wake up for a few hours, but when you do you’re confused.

Your back aches and you feel a little dizzy as you remember what happened, how you got here.

Steve watches as you regain consciousness, confusion pulling your brows together before you slowly open your eyes.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles soothingly.

You look up at him then drop your gaze to your belly, bringing your free hand down to rub it gently.

“Am I... are we okay?” He nods gently, tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I was... I don’t know, trying to teach you a lesson. And all that did was hurt you. Hurt the baby. I wanted to show you that trying to hurt yourself and hurt the baby wouldn’t fly, but I ended up doing far more damage.”

You swallow hard and struggle to push yourself into a seated position, wincing at the throb in your head.

“The doctor said that you shouldn’t move too much, and try to stay on your left side when you sleep. I-I didn't know that sleeping on your back was bad.”

You take a deep breath and look up at him, waiting for the anger to take hold in his eyes but it never does.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. For scaring you and not trusting you. I... I lost you for so many years and now I have you back and... I don’t wanna lose you again. But everything I do to try and keep you close, make you mine... all it does is push you further away and I’m sorry.”

His apology takes you by surprise, and you eye him skeptically.

How are you supposed to know if he’s telling the truth?

He drags one of his hands down his face and for a moment you can truly see just how old Steve Rogers is.

The exhaustion of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders finally shows in the lines near his eyes, the bags beneath them. But what really displays his age is his eyes. They’re so full of trauma and pain and weariness.

For the first time since waking up from the ice, Steve Rogers looks his age.

“I-I’m sorry, too,” you whisper, surprising him.

“I didn’t... I wasn’t thinking. I just... I wanted to punish you for what happened to Natasha. What you did. I wanted you to hurt but I just ended up hurting myself in the process.” You look down at your hands, trying to figure out how you want to phrase what you have to say.

“People argue, Steve. But what you do... it’s beyond that. We’re not... there are so many things wrong with what’s happening between us, what’s happened already, but I can’t leave. Sarah’s too attached and all I want for my little girl is to have a happy life. To have the happiness that was torn from me.”

Guilt settles on his chest, but he lets you continue speaking.

“I want my daughter to have a good life. I don’t want her to be afraid of-of people. The way I am. She loves you, and I know... I think you love her. You haven’t hurt her yet, and I hope it stays that way because at the rate we’re going, I'm not sure how much longer I’ll be able to do this.”

The pure fatigue on your face is more than enough explanation, but the idea of losing you is too much for him to bear.

“No, don’t say that. I’m gonna get better, okay? We-we were happy once. And we can do it again. I’ll be gentle and patient. I just... I need you, (Y/n). I need you a lot and the fact that you have such a tight hold over my every thought makes me angry. But I’m not gonna take it out on you anymore, okay?”

You let out a deep breath and eye him carefully.

“You’ve said that before.”

He thinks back to the time you spent in that cabin in the woods, where you turned his friends against him.

He has said that before, and look at where he is now.

“This time it’ll be different.”

You don’t have the energy to fight him. So if he’s gonna try, fine.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping she’s still safely out with Morgan.

Steve’s face falls again and he stands up and opens the door to your bedroom.

Sarah sits crumpled in a ball, her cheeks covered in tears.

“Mommy!” She all but screams the word, launching to her feet.

Steve tries to take her hand but she yanks it away from him, shooting him a glare then running to the bed and climbing up beside you.

Your heart breaks when you see how sad she looks, and you hug her to your chest.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s okay.” She sniffles and climbs onto your lap, climbing to you like her life depends on it.

You wonder what happened while you were unconscious, what Steve did to upset her so much, and your mind immediately goes to the worst.

You look at the man, your thoughts written plainly across your face, but he quickly shakes his head.

“No. I just told her she couldn’t come in. Not ‘till you woke up. She uh... she stayed right outside the door.”

You soothe your daughter, rocking her as much as you can manage with the pain rolling down your spine.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You hold her close to you, trying to calm her down while Steve looks on helplessly.

Although his daughter loves him, loves being here with him, nothing can compare to the bond that the two of you have.

The monster in him hates it. Hates that he’s not as close to his own daughter, blames you for it. But he pushes that part of himself down.

He made a promise. And this time he’s not gonna break it.

~

"Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He asks for the thousandth time.

You only shrug, fixing your hair in the mirror as the doorbell rings.

“It’s a little too late now, Steve. Besides, I don’t really care. Sarah’s gonna have fun and that’s all that matters.”

Your daughter took a few days to warm up to Steve again, but now that she has he’s not gonna risk anything changing that.

He takes one last look at you, at how pretty you look in your blue sundress, then leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“I love you, (Y/n). I can send them away.”

You take a deep breath and shake your head.

“Sarah’s excited. Besides, I wanna know what we’re having.”

You plaster on a forced smile and it breaks his heart, but he turns and heads downstairs to greet the guests.

Ever since you got hurt, he’s been nicer. Far gentler than he's ever been with you, and you’re not complaining.

Steve has the potential to be a good person, that much is obvious, but he chooses not to.

He hasn’t hurt you again, or even yelled at you. No, he’s been patient and understanding and it’s such a sharp contrast from who he was before.

You can hear him greeting the guests warmly, chatting on and on about this and that and whatever else.

Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you leave the faux safety of the bedroom and head down the stairs, smiling at your guests.

People that you’ve never seen before are in your house. Well, that’s not true. You’ve seen them on TV.

The Avengers are in your living room and kitchen, talking softly amongst themselves.

In the presence of these superheroes, you feel small. Weak. And you can’t fight the urge to find Steve as anxiety crawls up your spine.

He’s in the kitchen, talking animatedly with Tony Stark and Sam Wilson. Iron Man and Falcon.

He looks so at ease, his face split open with a laidback grin.

Sam’s eyes find yours and he says something to Steve, making the blond turn to you with a soft smile.

He waves you over and you obey, one hand resting delicately on your bump.

“Sam, Tony, this is my (Y/n). (Y/n), Sam and Tony.” You nod politely at them, sliding your clammy hand into Steve's nervously.

You haven’t been around this many people in a very long time.

“It’s nice to finally meet the woman who’s got Captain America so hooked! All he does is talk about you,” Sam says, a grin on his face.

You smile at him, looking up at Steve.

He nods encouragingly, smoothing his thumb over your knuckles to try and ease your anxiety.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I, uh, I’ve heard a lot about you. About both of you.” Tony smiles looking down as someone tugs on his pant leg.

“Can I have a sleepover at Sarah’s house?!” Morgan asks excitedly, her little face full of glee.

“You’re gonna need to go ask your mother. You know she makes all the decisions.”

Tony’s gaze lifts to yours when his daughter runs to find her mom.

“Is it alright if she sleeps over tonight?”

Steve nods then looks at you.

“You alright with that?”

You’re not sure if it’s a real choice or a test, but you don’t want to find out.

“Of course. She’s always welcome here.”

Tony nods with a smile, then resumes whatever conversation they were having before you showed up.

You tune out what they’re saying, carefully rubbing over your stomach and poking at your baby whenever they decide to kick you.

“(Y/n)? Did you wanna help me set the food up outside?” Pepper’s voice breaks you from your trance, her hand coming to rest softly on your shoulder.

You look up at Steve, silently asking for permission, but he just leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips and lets go of your hand.

You follow Pepper, setting up the table in the backyard silently for a while before she clears her throat.

“How are you feeling, (Y/n)? Sarah told us you were sick.”

You swallow hard and give her a tight smile.

“I’m feeling better. Tired all the time but this little devil is to blame for that.” You poke your belly only to be met with another kick.

Pepper nods, smiling at you.

“Are you excited?”

That question throws you for a loop.

Are you? Are you excited to have another baby?

You’re excited for Sarah to have a sibling. Excited to get to hold your baby and love your baby. But the reason why you’re having the baby in the first place? The father of your baby? No.

“Yeah, I am. A little nervous, too.”

She sits down by your garden, patting the seat next to her.

“You look tired, (Y/n). More tired than a mother should be. You’re wearing yourself thin.” You keep your lips sealed, not wanting to say anything that might make Steve mad.

She sighs and sets a gentle hand on your knee.

“I don’t know what your... relationship is with Steve, but I know you’re unhappy. He’s a good guy, deep down. But you need to take care of yourself, okay? Don’t work yourself to the breaking point because it’ll be even harder to build yourself back up. Especially with a brand new baby.”

You let out a shuddering breath and nod.

“It’s just hard. I’m trying but... it’s hard.”

As you talk softly with Pepper, Steve observes the two of you.

You look so sad, so defeated. He hates that he made you look like that.

“She’s unhappy, Steve.”

He turns to the voice, eyebrows raising.

“Wanda. I didn’t know if you’d make it.” He pulls her into a hug. “I heard about what happened in Westview... Wanda, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

She sighs, pulling away with a sad smile.

“No. But I will be.” Her eyes travel back over to you for a moment, feeling the pain and the sorrow in your soul.

“Do you think she’ll ever be happy here? With me?” Wanda sighs, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes, feeling your thoughts, your energy.

“It’s hard to tell. Right now she’s so... numb. Nothing but sadness and... hopelessness. Her spirit is crushed, Steve.” She reopens her eyes and turns to the blond.

“You can’t keep her here like this. It’s only a matter of time before she gets fed up and tries to do something drastic. Again.”

Steve knows. He fucking knows that. But he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do to lift your spirits.

He's given you more freedom, let you make more decisions for yourself. He’s been gentler with you, hasn't forced himself on you.

Not forcing himself on you isn’t something to gloat about, but given the history between the two of you, it’s something fairly major.

He just wants to keep you in his life. He needs to keep you in his life.

He turns to the young woman beside him, a thought bubbling into his mind.

“Could you... do something to make her happy? Make her enjoy her life here? Make her love me again?”

Wanda’s mouth curves down as she looks at you, watches you play with your daughter and Morgan.

“Steve, it’s not right.”

The blond lets out a pained breath, shaking his head desperately.

“I just want happiness, Wanda. Don’t I deserve it? Haven’t I suffered enough to deserve a happy ending?”

Wanda’s eyes glow red with sorrow as she’s reminded of her own happy ending that she had to give up.

She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, dropping her gaze for a moment before looking over at his desperate blue eyes.

“We don’t always get what we deserve. It’s hard and it hurts, but we can't control everything. And at some point, we need to let go. No matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. We can’t hurt other people because of what we think we deserve.”

They both look back over to you, your own eyes already on the pair, but dropping as soon as you see them turn to you.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I can’t do that.”

Tears stab at his eyes and he huffs out a breath through his nose, turning on his heel and walking away from the party, from his friends.

His abrupt departure catches the attention of a few people, yourself included. Before you can get up and see what’s going on, Bucky’s on his feet and heading into the house.

The woman Steve was talking to makes her way over to you, smiling gently.

“Hi (Y/n). I’m Wanda.” You smile at her, eyes darting towards where Steve disappeared from then back to her.

Bucky re-emerges only a few moments later, shaking his head at Natasha when she gives him a quizzical look.

You turn to Wanda with a strained smile.

“Could you just watch Sarah for a minute? And make sure she has something to eat? The foods ready.” She nods, watching with sad eyes as you walk back into the house to see what’s wrong with Steve.

“Steve?” You call softly, looking around for him only to find him sitting on the couch in the living room, his face in his hands.

“Why can’t I have what I want?” His question catches you off guard and you move to stand in front of him.

He shakes his head sadly, pulling his hands off of his face to grab yours, holding them tightly.

His lips brush over your knuckles gently, before he presses the back of your hands against his forehead, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“This isn’t right.”

Your heart races in your chest, stomach tying in knots as you try to figure out what he’s talking about.

“What are you talking about? Is everything okay? Did... did I do something wrong?” Maybe you shouldn’t have talked to Pepper earlier. Maybe you should’ve just stayed quiet and smiled.

“I can’t keep you here.”

One sentence. Five words. Sixteen letters.

That’s all it takes to have your heart stuttering.

“What... what do you mean you can’t keep me here?” You try your hardest not to let your hopes get too high. Maybe he’s going to kill you. Maybe that’s what it is. It’s certainly something more up his alley than... the alternative.

He slowly raises his head, teary red eyes staring up into yours. 

“You know what I mean.”

You shake your head, needing to hear him say it himself.

“What are you saying, Steve?”

He lets out a heavy sigh and closes his eyes, the words hurting him but he needs to say them.

“You're free to go. You and Sarah.”

The breath gets knocked from your lungs, eyes wide as tears start to blossom. This is a trap. A test. It has to be. There’s no way...

“You’re letting us go?” You ask softly.

He sighs again, nodding as tears find their way down his cheeks.

“Yeah... I guess I am.”

You’re silent, staring at him and waiting for him to tell you it’s a joke, to punish you. But he doesn’t. No, instead he lets go of one of your hands and stands up, his chest almost brushing yours.

“You said I don’t love you... but I do. I love you. Or maybe I love the idea of you, I don’t know. But either way... I hate how sad you are. How sad and afraid I make you. You're free to go wherever you want.”

You’re practically hyperventilating.

After all this time, you never truly thought he’d ever let you go. That he’d have even a shred of decency left inside him.

He cups your hands together and carefully places something inside them, then turns and walks to the front door, grabbing his keys and leaving the house.

You stand silently, staring at the object in your hands until standing becomes too hard and you think you may throw up.

Then you sit down, silent tears trekking down your cheeks.

“(Y/n)?” You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting on the couch, staring at your hands, but Natasha’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

“(Y/n), are you okay? Where’s Steve?”

You stare up at her then look back down at the tiny, life-changing object in your hands.

“He let us go,” you whisper, your glossy eyes raising to hers again.

She looks half as shocked as you feel.

“What?”

You sniffle then wipe the tears off of your cheeks.

“He’s letting us go,” you repeat, pushing yourself to your feet and holding your bump.

“Really?” You nod, eyes finding the backyard through the kitchen window.

Sarah and Morgan are playing outside with Sam and Wanda.

“What are you gonna do?”

Your heart is so full of confusion, full of pain and hurt.

“I’m gonna go cut the cake, then have a talk with Sarah.” She nods, a small smile on her face.

She heads back outside and you take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down before you go out and face Steve’s friends.

You toy with the dainty thing he dropped in your hands before nodding to yourself.

This is what’s right. It’s the right choice for both of you.

You entertain his guests for a few more hours, not wanting to clue them into anything in case they disagree with your decision, with Steve’s.

Only after the presents are given and the cake is almost completely devoured do they finally start to leave.

Wanda helps you tidy up the backyard, writing her phone number down with a soft smile and a whispered ‘if you ever need a friend’.

Everyone bids you goodbye until only Bucky and Nat are left, the metal-armed soldier staring intently at your left hand before a smile spreads across his face.

He surprises you, pulling you into a gentle hug and nodding his head.

“Congratulations, (Y/n).” You’re not sure what he’s talking about, but for some reason, you don’t think it has anything to do with the baby shower.

They leave too, and then you’re virtually alone, Sarah and Morgan asleep upstairs.

After cleaning up every last inch of the house, you head upstairs to go to sleep.

Steve isn’t home until after midnight, long after he lets his tears run dry and his heart stop shattering. It just aches now. Hurts.

He let you go. He really did it.

Deep down he knew this would be the outcome. Either this or your death, but he never wanted to accept it. Refused to admit it to himself.

But seeing Wanda... after all that she’s been through... and she’s still standing strong.

He takes his shoes off and drops his keys on the kitchen counter, freezing in his tracks when he sees the covered plate of cake with his name written on it.

The batter is blue.

A boy.

He’s gonna have a son.

A son that he’ll never get to meet. He’s given you freedom, and he doubts you’ll let him be a part of your child’s life after all that he’s put you through.

He slowly makes his way upstairs, his heart hurting when he sees no sign of your things in the pristine house.

When he pushes open the bedroom door he freezes in his tracks.

There you are, sleeping in his bed. No bags are packed, nothing is out of place, and the dainty diamond ring sits on your finger.

You’ve made your choice, he realizes, his heart jumping for joy in his chest.

He sheds his clothes then climbs into bed with you, wrapping you up in his arms and sighing heavily.

Maybe Wanda was wrong.

Maybe he’ll get his happy ending after all.

[andreafmn]

Collision - Chapter 4

Word Count: 3,821

Characters: Female Reader Uley Character, Sam Uley, Allison Uley, Charlie Swan, Bella Swan, Seth Clearwater, Billy Black, Jacob Black, Emily Young, Paul Lahote, Harry and Sue Clearwater, Leah Clearwater

Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Twilight, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. The only thing I own is Uley Reader insert, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 4/?

A/N: Don’t know if I ever mentioned it, but the story takes place before New Moon but after Twilight. It starts at the end of May after the dance, so it’d be the summer before Bella’s birthday in September. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 4

The next time she awoke she was back in sight of the blinding hospital lights. Her head was heavily pounding and the clothes on her body felt alien to her. Her eyes struggled to adjust to the white lights of the sanitized room, but they were suddenly off.

“Back again, Miss Uley?” She recognized the voice, Dr. Cullen. “I’ve already turned the lights off so don’t worry about that.”

Her eyes finally opened to reveal the smooth pale face of the doctor. A wave of calmness rushed over her as soon as her eyes connected with his golden ones.

“What can I say?” She chuckled. “I just couldn’t stay away.”

“Well, it seems you’ve been having a recurring headache, insomnia, memory lapses, and a lack of appetite. It looks like post-concussive syndrome. Your mom told us you were feeling like this for a few days, why didn’t you come back?” Carlisle questioned. He was trying his best to look like he was breathing but if he took even a single breath all his years of self-control would be over in an instant.

“I thought if I could just make it to at least seven days it could clear me from coming back to the hospital, at least as a patient.”

“What do you mean?” This comment had perked the interest of the man. Thoughts raced through his head faster than he could analyze them.

“I was thinking of applying for a medical assistant job here in the hospital. I recently got my degree in biology, and I’ve been thinking of going to medical school after.”

“That sounds like a plan, but let’s work on getting you better first.” It did sound like a good plan to Carlisle. He wanted to be as close as possible to her every single day, but it also meant he would have to work triple as hard to control his thirst. “We’d like to keep you for the next few days and make sure you’re in good health before you can go back to business as usual.”

“How long would a few days be?”

“About four to five days, just to make sure that the symptoms don’t worsen, and we can give you an all-clear.” It would also give him a few days to grow accustomed to her smell. “We can work over that application for medical assistant, make sure it’s something you want to do.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She smiled at the man in front of her, her heart fluttering with every breath she took. “Thank you, Dr. Cullen.”

“Please, call me Carlisle,” he smiled. “Now, why don’t you continue resting, and whatever you need just call. My office is right down the hall, I’ll be here in no time.”

The girl stared at the retreating form of his body and covered the heat that was rising to her face with her pillow. The butterflies in her stomach had made her uneasy and had her hands shaking. She didn’t understand why she was feeling this way. It had only been a week since her first encounter with the doctor, but those few seconds were enough to have her drooling over the man like a lovesick schoolgirl.

A few days had come and gone quickly. (Y/N) had grown attached to Carlisle, seeing and talking to him every day had felt like a dream. In his free time, she would go over to his office and pick a book to read, which they talked about the next day. They spent hours talking about nothing and everything.

It had been a long time since Carlisle had felt this way, centuries. Being around her had gotten easier each day that passed. Her smell becoming comforting instead of a trigger to the endless hunger for human blood – he’d never had a simple drop of it, but nothing could explain how much he wanted to have hers. Getting to know her had been a welcomed activity by the young doctor. He could spend days upon days listening to the sweet sound of her voice, admiring her curious-filled face when she started a new book – which she read swiftly, taking only a couple of hours to finish most of them.

“Can’t believe you have so many first editions, and you leave them at work.” She ran her hand across the spine of Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment. “I would keep them in a well-preserved chamber, and no one would be able to even breathe on them.”

Carlisle smiled as the girl gawked once again at his book collection. It wasn’t hard to acquire first edition novels when you were alive when they were published. “If you’re impressed by this collection, you’d be completely astonished by the one I have back home.”

“You have more?!” He nodded. The girl shined like a kid on Christmas, her eyes gleaming at the thought of a big library. “Oh, that sounds like a dream.”

“You’re more than welcome to come over any time. It’s always refreshing to meet a literature aficionado such as myself.”

“Really? That’d be amazing!” She grinned brightly. “I could spend all day reading, forget about work.”

The duo laughed. “Too late to withdraw the application but you’re always welcome to pass your downtime in my office.”

“Sounds like a plan,’’ she smiled. “Now, doctor, what will you ever do now that I’m not going to be here every day?”

“Oh, how will I ever go on?” He chuckled. “But if you ever need help during that time, just come by. My office is always open. And hopefully, you’ll visit from time to time on personal time.”

“I’m sure it’s something that can be arranged.”

If there was still blood rushing through his veins, the capillaries in his face would have widened. He felt like he now understood Edward; how being with her made him feel human again. And there was nothing more that he wanted than to take their friendship to another level, but he wasn’t sure if she would ever feel the same. Carlisle knew that she was unaware of the supernatural since (Y/N) had allowed him to be in her life. But what would happen once she knew everything? How could he ever come between her and her family?

“Miss Uley, your mother is here,” a nurse spoke up, peeking her head through the office door. “Discharge papers have already been filed.”

“Thank you, Nurse Dalen. She’ll be out in a moment.” Carlisle smiled.

“Well, the time has come.” (Y/N) took her phone out of her back pocket and handed it to the doctor. He looked at her with a question-ridden gaze. “I’m gonna need your phone number so we can arrange any future endeavors.”

“Right,” he laughed, typing his number into her directory. “I’ll be waiting for that call.”

“I’ll be making it soon enough,” she grinned. “I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you around, Cullen.”

“I’ll see you, Uley.”

She left the office with a huge smile on her face, holding her phone close to her chest. For the first time, she was experiencing something she had heard of most of her teenage years. Once she had met Carlisle all she wanted to do was get to know him better, spend her time with him, just being near him would suffice. It was the first time she was learning what falling for someone was, and even though it was scary, she was jumping in headfirst.

“Hi, honey. Ready to go home?” Allison hugged her daughter for the first time in five days. (Y/N) nodded, truly ready to finally sleep on her own bed.

“So, how are you liking Dr. Cullen?”

“MOM!” Allison laughed at her daughter’s reaction. It was easy to see that (Y/N) had taken a liking to Carlisle Cullen, and vice versa.

“What, darling? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck.”

“It’s not like that, mom.”

“But you’d like it to be like that.”

“I’m not talking about that with my mother.” (Y/N) placed her cold hands on her cheeks, trying to cool down the warm blood that had rushed onto her cheeks. The cool air of the car’s A/C was only helping her so much.

“I just want you to be careful with that, honey. He’s older than you, technically has kids, and rumor has it he is married.”

A breath hitched in her throat. Married? She knew he had adopted five kids, most of them her age, but not that he was married. Had she read the situation wrong? He didn’t wear a ring, he didn’t mention any relationship, he had no pictures of a woman in his office. Then again, they had only spent five days together at the hospital. She didn’t know what he did when he went home at night, who he went home to at night. (Y/N) shouldn’t feel betrayed—they weren’t anything, and they weren’t on track to become anything.

“Don’t worry, mom. I’ve just been picking his brain about working in the hospital, and he’s been helping me with what I’m gonna be doing this summer.”

“Oh, have you decided what you want to do?”

“I’m gonna get my medical assistant certification. It’s a three-month course then I can work at the hospital.”

“That’s great, honey.” Allison smiled at her daughter from the driver’s side. “Is that where you’d see yourself making a career?”

“Not sure. I want to take this time to see if life in a hospital is truly where I’d like to work – see if medical school would be it for me.”

(Y/N) hadn’t taken the time to focus on her future. In her high school career, she spent her time focusing on the present and piling on as much as she could, and now she had no sense of direction. She would take every day as it came, hoping one day she would find her purpose.

Finally, back home, she hopped off the truck and stretched out her limbs, stiff from the days on a hospital bed. Taking a deep breath of fresh air and basking in the afternoon sun. The cold that had seeped into her bones from the hospital melted off, and she smiled feeling the warmth surround her.

“Why don’t you go upstairs, honey?” Allison told her daughter. “There’s a surprise waiting for you in your room.”

(Y/N) smiled and quickly made her way up the stairs to see what her mom meant. Opening the door, tears forming in her eyes. Her room had done a 180-degree turn. The walls had been painted a light beige color, and plants hung from the walls bringing warmth to the room. The bed was adorned with a white cover, and a fluffy duvet to keep her warm at night. A wooden frame sat atop the bed dressed in white linen and ivy vines. A bookcase lived in the corner of her room, filled to the brim with her collection of hardbacks and peppered with potted plants. Opposite the bed was a small desk with a dark green suede chair, her laptop set up in the workspace. Her room finally felt like hers.

“Do you like it, honey?”

“Mom, did you do this?”

“I wish I could take credit, but your brother and your friend Paul came over when I was at work and redecorated. I was actually surprised that they even came over.”

“I’ll have to thank them,” (Y/N) grinned. Even though their relationship was strained at the moment, and she had yet to see Paul since coming back, she was glad that they had taken time out of their days to do this for her. “I’ll go over to Sam’s house for a bit, maybe now he’ll have time to see me.”

“Why don’t you go tomorrow, honey? You should take it easy.”

“I feel a lot better, mom. You don’t have to worry too much.”

“I’m your mother, I’ll always worry. If you’re gonna go out, go see Jacob. He was really worried about you.”

“I will.”

(Y/N) kissed her mother’s cheek and grabbed her bag to head out. Her first stop was to the Black residence. Jacob saw her coming down the street and ran out to wrap her in a hug. When she collapsed last week, he had been very concerned when she collapsed in his garage. Jacob was glad that she had made a full recovery and was now back home, with minimum side effects showing. The visit was short, only a quick hello to ensure the boy that she was okay.

After spending some time with Jacob, she walked towards Sam’s house – she hoped to catch Paul there too since she had heard he now spent his time there alongside Jared Cameron. It hadn’t clicked in her head why Paul would ever hang out with her brother and Jared. Even when they were back in middle school, he never paid them any mind, having a separate friend group. She had only become his friend by spending time with him away from school, and her brother had always disliked them together, claiming he was a bad influence.

Outside of the small house, (Y/N) could hear the low chatter of manly voices, a higher-pitched one joining after. There was no mistaking that Sam was home. She started feeling nervous as she raised her hand to knock on the door. The shaky limb was able to make contact with the blue door twice before it opened wide open, revealing a shirtless Paul Lahote.

“(Y/N)?” He questioned. Paul knew she was back, but Sam had given him clear instructions to stay away from her due to their situation.

“Hey, Paul. Long time no see, huh?” The girl smiled at her friend that now towered over her. A few years ago, they were still of the same stature, but too much time had passed since then. She went in for a hug, and Paul cut it short – worried she might note his burning temperature. “Is Sam home?”

“Uh, yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck, turning towards the kitchen. “Sam! (Y/N)’s here.”

The older male appeared in front of them, a soft smile playing on his lips. “Hey, (Y/N). Good to see you’re doing better. What brings you around?”

“I just wanted to thank you both for what you did in my room. Mom told me you worked on it while we were away. It’s a dream.” Sam smiled at his younger sister and shared a hug with the smaller girl.

“I’m glad you liked it, (Y/N). We wanted to give you a place where you could rest better after the accident. It’s the least we could do.” The alpha could hear the duo that was left in the kitchen had grown curious about who was at the door. “Do you want to come in for a bit?”

“Are you really inviting me in?” (Y/N) was taken aback – the last thing she thought was that she would get that invitation.

“Yeah, there’s someone I want you to meet,” Sam responded, keeping his doubts of the encounter to himself.

(Y/N) walked through the threshold and instantly felt the warm aura that emanated from inside of the house. It was a welcoming environment that she had grown to love from her own mother’s house. She walked behind Sam, Paul following behind them. `There was nothing that could prepare her to the sight she was met with.

In front of her stood a beautiful woman. She had tan skin, long black hair, and a beautiful smile. But there was something that stood out to her, something she was sure stood out to everyone – three long gashes ran through the front of her face. Yet, they didn’t distract from the alluring atmosphere that surrounded her. Sam moved to her side, and (Y/N) quickly connected the dots and figured that was Emily Young. The Uley girl wanted to be indifferent to her presence, knowing how one of her friends had been hurt by the union in front of her, she couldn’t help but note the love that radiated from the pair. It had been a long time since she had seen her brother as happy as he looked as he stared at his fiancé.

“(Y/N), it’s an honor to finally meet you.” Emily stretched out her hand towards the girl, which (Y/N) gladly took. “Sam has told me so much about you.”

“I wish I could say the same,” (Y/N) joked. “Hopefully, we’ll have a chance to get to know each other more. I’d love to get to know the woman my brother is set to marry.”

“I’m sure we’ll have enough time now that you’re back.” Emily smiled and grabbed a basket filled with muffins, offering them to the girl. (Y/N) gladly took the baked good in her hand, picking at it and placing the piece in her mouth – a wonderful taste that quickly melted in her mouth. “You’re welcome over any time. Any family of Sam is family to me.”

“Thank you, Emily. I’ll be sure to take you up on that.”

Not much time passed before Sam had cut the meeting short, claiming there was something important the duo had to do. “We should do this another time, (Y/N). Paul and I have to go.”

“Go where?” (Y/N) questioned. “It’s already night, not much to do.”

“I can’t really tell you, sis. But it’s important.”

“So still guarding secrets?” Sam shrugged. “It’s fine, Sam. I’m growing used to it.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I can take a hint, Sam. I know when I’m not wanted,” (Y/N) smiled. “Thank you for the muffins, Emily. They were divine. I’ll be sure to take you up on that offer and visit sometime soon.”

“Of course, (Y/N). I’m sorry we had to cut this short.”

“It’s okay. I’ll see you guys.” (Y/N) took her bag and exited the house. She was confused on why Sam had welcomed her in only to have her leave soon after – there was something big he was hiding, and she needed to find out what it was.

“(Y/N), wait up!” Paul jogged up to her, turning her around. “Look, I hope you understand that we’re not trying to push you away on purpose. There are things that Sam is protecting you from.”

“Like what, Paul? What danger could possibly be surrounding us that he would stray from his family?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s not my place to tell you, (Y/N). As much as I hate keeping this from you, Sam would not allow it to come from anyone but himself.”

“Are you serious? What kind of power does he have over you?”

“PAUL!” Sam shouted, gaining the attention of his beta. “Let’s go.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I hope one day you’ll forgive us.” Paul kissed her forehead and went to meet up with his alpha.

(Y/N) stood still as she watched their bodies disappear into the woods. She debated whether to follow them for a brief second, but she was exhausted. She left back home with a million questions running through her head. The pair of Sam and Paul was a strange view, and she was determined to get to the bottom of things.

When she got home, (Y/N) noticed her mother asleep on the couch, the tv in front of her still playing. The years that passed were clear on her face, the worry that she carried for both her children plastered in the lines of her face. She could see the exhaustion that she held, years of caring for two kids by herself taking a toll on her. (Y/N) grabbed a blanket and laid it on top of her mother’s body, making sure that she was warm during the night. She left a kiss on her cheek, thankful for everything her mother had sacrificed for her.

After showering the day off, (Y/N) changed into her pajamas and laid in bed staring at her phone’s screen. She thought if she stared at it long enough a message would magically pop up. Minutes passed and her phone kept silent, not a single notification appearing on the screen. She scrolled through her directory until it landed on the newest listing. Carlisle Cullen, it read. Her finger clicked on it and selected new message.

Her fingers danced atop the keyboard of her phone, no words coming to her mind to send to the doctor. Should she even send him a message? What if he truly was married? She would never want to come between a couple. But her fingers did not follow her thought train. Unconsciously, they started typing away a message and before she could analyze her actions, she sent the message.

Hi, Carlisle. It’s (Y/N). I made it home okay and don’t have any symptoms, seems like you fixed me up! Anyways, wanted to know if you possibly had some free time this weekend to join me for some dinner at La Bella Italia. Hope you had a good rest of the day at work!

Her jaw fell when her screen read message sent. There was no way to delete it now. It was out there, and it would make its way to his phone. (Y/N)’s head fell onto her pillow and muffled a scream that escaped from her throat. This feeling was alien to her, and she was learning what steps to take to grow closer to the astonishing man. Minutes felt like an eternity to (Y/N), thinking that she had imploded the friendship she had built with the man over the past week.

Beep.

The sound from her phone caught her attention. She scrambled for her phone and quietly shrieked at the words on her screen.

Hello, (Y/N). I’m glad you’re feeling better, hopefully, no symptoms will arise once more. And I did have a good day at work, although I missed our afternoon book chats. I have a free day on Sunday. Tell me a time and I can meet you in Port Angeles. Hope that day is good for you.

“He said yes. If he were actually married, he wouldn’t have said yes,” she thought.

So, she typed back.

I’m glad you had a good day, and the book chats have an easy fix. I’m just a phone call away. As for Sunday, it’s a perfect day. I think around 5:30 would be a good time for dinner. Let me know if it works.

Sent.

Seconds later, another beep.

I’ll make sure to schedule those calls then. 5:30 sounds perfect. I’ll see you there. Have a good night, (Y/N).

See you then, Carlisle. Good night. 😊

(Y/N) smiled at her phone, joy wanting to burst from her body. She was reveling in this new feeling and the happiness it brought her. If it was Carlisle, it was worth it, she believed.

That night she went to sleep with the biggest smile she had experienced in her life. Unbeknownst to the life-changing moments that were to follow this meeting.

Tag List: @daniallh @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @imaginetwilight2704 @jessicas-undrground @hey-you-therexo @mauvette268 @mxyee @beefwhobarksandisalilmadalot

[akaashisbabygirl]

you’re just a game he likes to play

pairings: akaashi x female!reader

genre: angst, romance, NSFW 18+

warnings: use of drugs, drinking, vaginal penetration, fingering, oral (female receiving), angst angst angst

words: 2.6k

a/n: i’m sorry for not posting as much. i’ve always wondered how people write really long fics, and here i am. i spent last night + this morning working on this, so i hope you all enjoy <3 this i planned to be a one shot so i probably won’t be doing a part two

‘are you awake right now?’ 

akaashi’s fingers ghosted over his phone, a slight cringe filling his mind as he thought about sending the message. eventually, everyone around him started to pick up on his quiet, drunken tone. 

“who’s the girl you’re texting?” kenma asked.

“it’s no one...” he said back softly, locking his phone. as much as he tried to play it off as if he wasn’t texting anyone, he knew that one of the boys were going to comment about it sooner or later.

“come on man, we all know it’s hayami,” kuroo interrupted. akaashi knew kuroo meant it as a joke. as much as akaashi knew that kuroo was joking, yet there was still that smirk that rested on kuroo’s face that akaashi was so desperate to punch. it had been a year since akaashi had fallen out of love with hayami, a girl he knew he stood no chance with. 

within that year, things had changed. he never used to drink or anything. he had changed so much. it bugged him whenever the other men talked about love and girls. he started to think why it couldn’t be him, why he couldn’t be the one talking about a girl he loves. he wanted to express the love he felt for the girl that ended up catching him by surprise when he least expected. the same type of love that everyone thought was for hayami.

one thing that akaashi was clear of was that he was deeply, and drunkenly in love with you. 

like his friends knew, there had been a time in his life when he was in love with hayami. but after finding out that she had hooked up with one of his high school friends after she had told him that she loved him, akaashi started to fall out of love; and while he was in his broken state was when you came along. just when he needed.

everyone in the group was sure that akaashi was going to always be in love with hayami, only because she was said to be the hottest girl on campus; and he himself was a very good looking guy. everyone wanted her. unfortunately, akaashi’s friends couldn’t see that the love he had once felt for her had now died down into the pit of his chest.

however, despite telling himself that he had fallen out of love with hayami, he also hid behind the thoughts of your beautiful soft hair and the way you felt so small compared to him behind the fact that he still loved hayami. because, what is the point of loving someone who is just your closest friend? 

akaashi brought the glass of alcohol to his lips once more, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. he sighed as he just about finished his third glass. had the room gotten louder? it had gotten to the point where he couldn’t make out the words of what his friends were saying. it was just too loud. 

he desperately wanted to text you. he wanted to send you cute messages about wanting to cuddle you, and kiss you and about how much he misses your touch and how he loves the feeling of your tiny body against his. after his third glass, those thoughts began to turn sexual. he felt different. had the others given him something? 

he remembered asking kuroo earlier in the night for something that would ‘take his mind off of everything’, maybe kuroo had given him something. his hands held onto the glass again as he watched the man across from him fill his glass again. 

his hands fiddled with his phone again. he so desperately wanted to message you right now, but his mind was clouded with sexual thoughts that he had never thought about before. he thought about how good he would be able to fill you up, how small you would be against him. he closed his eyes and sighed to the thought mentally. he wasn’t a pervert, at least he thought he wasn’t. 

the two of you were just friends. he respected the boundaries of your friendship. he wasn’t going to push you, he didn’t even know if you felt the same way about him. but once again, his mind and everyone around him kept telling him that he was in love with hayami. 

‘stick with the girl that all your friends know you love. you don’t wanna ruin your friendship with her’ said the narrator inside his mind, as if he was telling akaashi what to do instead of letting him figure this madness out on his own. 

akaashi stood up from the chair, making his way to the bathroom. after minutes, he was looking at his messy reflection in the bathroom mirror. he knew it was time to go home. he could see it in his reflection. he was drunk. drunk and in love. he wanted you by his side right now. maybe fixing his jacket or his hair. how you would be on your tiptoes just to try and reach him. how fucking cute. or how you would stand on your tiptoes to try and reach his lips. 

akaashi left the house, standing outside on the street waiting for a cab to pull up.

“what’s the address?” the man asked.

without a thought, he gave the man your street name. space and time had began to blur, his phone in his hands as the thought of you rushed throughout his mind.

you were in your room, sitting on your bed in an oversized shirt. your eyes scanned along the messages what you had just received from akaashi.

‘are you awake?’ 2:43AM

one missed call. 2:49AM

‘i miss you’ 2:54AM

‘i need your touch’ 2:58AM

one missed call. 3:02AM

‘need you so badly’ 3:06AM

he was high.

you knew he was. there was no way in hell akaashi would ever text you like this. he was in love with hayami. you were sure about this. you felt a stinging pain in your chest because it was obvious that you were deeply in love with akaashi keiji. you hated the way you were so badly separated from even being close to a relationship with him because the narrator in your mind always came back to remind you that akaashi was in fact in love with hayami. 

your fingers typed back.

‘i am not hayami. you have the wrong contact’ 3:10AM

there was no reply back. you thought that maybe he reached hayami’s apartment and that he was currently somewhere with her right now. you threw a pillow over your head.

he was such an amazing man. you had fallen in love with the person that he is, how he would always be there whenever you needed him so desperately. he helped you when you were down. it made you mad that hayami only wanted akaashi for his popularity around campus and not for the amazing person that he is.

it was hard to try and get over those feeling that were painfully stabbing your heart. you wanted to be with him. god, you wanted to be with him so fucking badly. but you knew that it would never happen.

because akaashi was in love with hayami.

the sound of knocking on your door threw you out of your haze. you checked your phone. no new messages from him. you opened the door, your eyes widening as his drunken state stood right in front of you. you hated to admit that he always took your breath away, even right now. he was so tall compared to you.

“can i come in?” his voice asked softly.

you nodded your head, opening your door further so he could come inside.

akaashi sat himself down on your couch. he looked lost. he was lost. he watched as you sat down next to him, your eyes not even looking in his direction. 

“are you... um... cold?” he asked, trying to make conversation.

you shook your head, silence running throughout the apartment.

“let me stay,” he blurted out. in fact, he had surprised you.

“you’re drunk,” you hated to admit the fact that his tone was deep and intoxicating. 

your fingers gripped his chin harshly, fingers digging into his jaw. you looked directly into his eyes. “and i don’t want to sit here and listen to you drunkenly express your love for hayami. not tonight.”

he watched as you pulled away from him, “i don’t love hayami! i don’t love her, i don’t know why you would think that!”

you stood up, trying to leave the room. you didn’t want to be around him right now. however, his hand gripping onto your wrist stopped your movement entirely.

without thinking, your hand slapped his cheek. hard. you were so angry. angry at the fact that you kept putting up with the same shit after knowing he didn’t feel the same way about you. tears perked in the corners of your eyes as you tried to control your emotions.

his beautiful face was inches away from yours as he pulled you to sit back down on the couch. his soft lips met yours for the first time. the two of you sighed into the kiss, almost as if it was some sort of relief for the both of you. his kisses were gentle, even if he was messily drunk right now. he was always gentle with you.

a soft groan escaped his lips as you opened your mouth, his tongue finding its way easily. he softly whispered against the kiss, “let me taste you... please.”

so polite.

you pulled your lips from his, looking into his blue coloured eyes. your lips partly opened. he saw your shy little nod.

“that’s my girl.”

the next few minutes had went by slowly. his lips attacked yours, his large hands pulling your body to straddle his waist, your clothed cunt pressing against his growing erection. his hands helped you grind against him as his tongue explored your mouth. your hands held tightly onto his shoulders as his hands grasped your ass.

akaashi stood up, having you stand up with him. he walked you down to your bedroom, his lips stayed attached to yours. 

the two of you made your way into the bedroom, akaashi’s jacket long discarded somewhere on the floor of the apartment. he gently pushed you down onto the bed. 

his hands found your thighs, spreading your legs open. his touches were soft and careful. he didn’t want to hurt you.

“tell me what you want me to do.”

“i want you to touch me,” you said as he removed his shirt, “please touch me.”

his hand found your ankle and lifted your leg slightly, pressing a soft kiss onto your ankle. akaashi kissed his way up your leg, his fingers removing your underwear.

his hands pushed your skirt up, his hands now grasping your legs with a firm grip. all his attention was on your womanhood now.

“so fucking pretty.”

he gathered your slick with his tongue, before drawing circles on your clit. he loved how your moans started to grow in pitch.

you affected him more than the alcohol did.

your hands clenched onto the bedsheets so tightly. he listened to your moans as his tongue ran along your messy cunt. he knew that you were holding yourself back. he could tell that your hands were clenching tightly onto the bedsheets, holding yourself back from grinding on his face.

one of his hands moved from holding your thighs down to toy with your clit. he could feel your body shaking and squirming underneath his large build.

akaashi never pulled away. even when you were starting to cum on his tongue. one of your legs had made their way onto his shoulder, the other around your waist.

akaashi’s face was coated with your juices. he removed his fact from your cunt, looking at you.

“i need to ask you... do you want to continue?”

you almost wanted to cry out now. akaashi had just made you cum. he was here right now, in between your legs, shirtless looking at you. you loved him. you loved him so fucking much. you couldn’t believe that this was happening right now.

“i want to.”

“yeah?” he placed your leg back down onto the bed, “tell me exactly what you want from me.”

“i want you to fuck me. please... fuck me.”

akaashi gave you a little smirk as he reached for his belt. the sound his belt made caught your attention quickly, your eyes darting to his lower parts.

you watched as he removed his pants and boxers. the size of his length made you press your knees together.

“i-its not gonna fit,” you mumbled softly, a deep red blush spreading over your cheeks.

akaashi chuckled, “i’ll make sure it fits.”

his voice was soft. he made you feel okay, made you feel safe. akaashi helped you remove the shirt from your body, “look how pretty you are.”

akaashi’s fingers found your entrance in no time. he pushed two fingers into you, listening to how you started moaning again. he loved the feeling of your tight walls around his fingers. he watched you clench around his fingers and with the beautiful moans you were giving him, he was ready to make you cum again. his skilled digits curled inside of your cunt, a cry falling from your lips as he did so.

akaashi leaned down to kiss your open mouth. you could feel him smiling into your mouth.

“i’m ready,” you mumbled out against the kiss, “akaashi, fuck me, please.”

akaashi removed his fingers from you, gathering your juices with the tip of his cock. he made sure he coated himself before pushing the tip in. he could hear your small voice whimpering and your soft pants. 

he looked at you, tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried to adjust to his size. he softly kissed both of your tears. 

“s-so big,” you whispered against his lips as you felt akaashi slowly start thrusting.

he smirked, his head dipping down to your neck to suck and kiss your skin. he looked at you, your voice broken and whimpering. you were crying for his cock. you could feel him twitch inside of you. he pulled his dick out before pushing back in, looking at where your bodies were connected.

akaashi could see the little bulge on your lower stomach. he grabbed onto your small hand, placing it down on your lower stomach so you could feel him. he gave you another deep thrust. your body moved with his thrusts. akaashi watched as your little body shook uncontrollably whenever his hips met with yours.

even akaashi was under the impression that your small body wouldn’t be able to fit him, but it was almost as if you were made for him.

“you feel so good around my cock.”

akaashi angled your legs, hooking them to his arms. the new angle made your eyes roll to the back of your head. one of your hands grabbed a handful of his hair, making him throw his head back. your lips pressed softly along his jawline. 

“s-so good, s-so fuckin’ good,” you moaned against his skin.

your forehead met with his as his thrusts became deeper and deeper. his voice was broken, his cock twitching. 

“cum inside me,” you mumbled softly, soft enough for him to hear. his thrusts were deep and he could feel you climax around his length. 

“i love you so fucking much,” he mumbled against your skin, “so fucking much that it hurts.”

“i know,” you cooed, kissing his cheek softly, “i love you too.”

he finished inside of you. you saying that was the last thing he remembered. he felt so safe in your arms, naked and bodies tangled. he knew his cum was dripping from your stretched hole. he fell asleep there in your arms.

you felt so at home, so safe in this moment. you shut your eyes too, falling asleep, enjoying this moment.

because deep down, you knew that in the morning, you weren’t hayami. 

© all content belongs to akaashisbabygirl 2021, do not repost or change

[havin-a-wee]

Appointment (Doctor's Orders Part 2)

read part 1 here

send me a request here

masterlist

pairing: gynecologist!harry x reader/doctor!harry x reader

word count: 4.7k

warnings: the filthiest of filth. like im serious this is basically pure smut.

its finally here! im in love with the way this turned out and i hope you guys are too! i got a few requests for this, and im actually really liking these two characters, so lemme know if you want me to make a series out of this!

Y/N's texts are in italics

Harry's texts are in bold

You felt like a kid in a candy store as you skipped out of the building, being welcomed by a setting sun. You weren’t just skipping out of excitement though, it was also because if you walked normally the shaking of your legs would be extremely noticeable. Luckily, when you arrived you had managed to find a parking spot nearby, so it didn’t take you long to make your way to the small black car that you recently purchased for yourself.

A small noise signaled when you unlocked the car, and you slipped into the driver’s seat quickly, shutting the door as you sat down.

You let yourself slouch, your back hitting the leather seat and a heavy exhale pushing through your flared nostrils. Finally, you had a moment to take in the events that just took place, and the excitement and nervousness flowed through your brain. Luckily, there was no regret swirled in with your feelings, although you were sure there wouldn’t be. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the ideal situation to have your first orgasm, but if this was how Harry would make his way into your life, you couldn’t complain. You closed your eyes and sighed, the post-orgasmic haze you’ve heard so much about finally settling in. In the darkness a smiling face appeared, and you grinned as well at the detailed picture of Harry your mind had concocted.

Suddenly, you sat up with a gasp, gripping the gear shift with your clammy hand. You had just remembered about the small piece of paper sitting in your pocket. The piece of paper with the number of the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen written on it. He had told you to text him when he got home, so obviously you had to get home as fast as possible.

Having been driving since you were 16, the motions were second nature, and the only thought you had to put into it was when you were checking to see if there was anyone in the way before you backed out of your parking spot.

Your apartment was only 10 minutes away, and you spent those 10 minutes half paying attention to the road, half thinking about the man that had his fingers inside of you. The thought in itself was causing arousal to pool in your already soiled panties. The expensive lingerie was undoubtedly going to end up in the trash, but you’d rather lose a pair of panties than lose a chance with Harry.

You pulled into your designated spot in the parking garage attached to your apartment building, and ran so quickly to the elevator that you almost tripped on your own feet. Thankfully the silver doors slid open without delay, and you swiftly stepped into the small area. Your manicured finger frantically pushed on the ‘door close’ button. The last thing you needed was someone walking into the elevator with you, seeing your bright red complexion and flushed features. Much to your relief, that didn’t happen, and the elevator lifted you up to the third floor. Objectively, the elevator was incredibly quick. However, in your needy state it felt so slow as if you were riding the shell of a turtle. The loud dinging pulled you back into reality, your mind wandering. You were thinking about what Harry’s hands felt like, and what they would feel like on the parts of your body that he hadn’t gotten to touch.

Yet.

You fumbled with your keys, attempting to grip your phone at the same time. After a bit of struggling, the rigged piece of metal slid into the slot on the doorknob, the door swinging open after you twisted the key. When you tried to remove the key from the lock, it stayed in place, pulling you backwards and almost making you fall.

You smiled at your own clumsiness, not focused enough to allow embarrassment to develop throughout you. Again jiggling the key, it slipped out of the lock and you quickly pushed the door closed using your back. You were left leaning up against the wooden door, flipping your phone screen to face you and sticking your hand in your pocket. You fished around in the small cavity, your fingers locating the small piece of paper that was making you so giddy. You punched the scribbled numbers into your contact app with haste.

Although you wanted to text him more than anything, you reasoned with yourself for a second. Instead of clicking at the keys on your screen, you picked your head up, disconnecting it from the bright touch screen in your hand.

Sucking in a deep breath, you turned back to the phone, satisfied with your attempt to calm yourself.

Hi Harry, it’s Y/N.

Instead of immediately going for something sexual, you wanted to start off the conversation normally. Also, there was the fact that you had no idea what he was actually looking for by giving you his number. His response came quicker than you could of ever expected, the typing bubble popping up seconds after the delivered sign appeared underneath your text.

Hi! I’m glad you actually texted me, because honestly I thought you wouldn’t.

Why would you think that? I would have to be pretty shitty to do something like that with you and then ditch.

I promise I don’t think you’re like that, it’s just the whole thing happened it slightly odd circumstances haha

It’s totally okay I get it, but I definitely don’t want that to be the only time something like that happens ;)

You were feeling bold, now sitting on your bed removing the heeled white boots you wore to match your outfit.

I’m glad you feel that way, because I feel the same. Just curious, when exactly would you want to do “something like that” again?

You giggled while reading his text, practically hearing the pauses of shyness that he would take if he said it in person.

As soon as you want to.

I’m sitting in my car right now about to go home, but I could make a pitstop if you asked politely..

Will you please come over and take care of me Daddy?

You cringed as soon as your finger hit the send button. Sexting was definitely not your forte, and in the heat of the moment you had forgotten that you hadn’t indulged in that kink with him the first time.

Who knew you could be so dirty love?

Send me your address. I'll be there asap.

You tapped away at the keys on your phone, sending him your information and you saw that he read it, but didn’t respond, clearly driving to you already.

Your panties were absolutely ruined at this point, and you made the decision to take them off, gliding the lacy white panties down your thighs and calves. When they fell on the floor, you picked your feet up to remove them from the leg holes, leaning over to pick up the panties with your hand. You wanted to show them to Harry, show him how messy he made you.

You clenched your thighs together, your core pulsing like a second heartbeat. A small whine slipped past your lips, and your eyes widened at your own actions. You had never been this aroused or needy in your life, and while these feelings were new, they weren’t scary like a lot of new feelings were for you. It was exciting, and just thinking about Harry rushing over to you because he wanted you so badly was sending fire through your veins. No one had ever wanted you so much, and you have never wanted someone this much. And it’s exhilarating.

After a painfully long time sitting on the edge of your bed anxiously, a loud knock on the door had you standing up in a flash, sauntering over to the door with unnatural speed. Your arousal began to drip down onto your thighs now that you were standing. The slickness between them had them sliding against one another, but the feeling was overshadowed by the rapid beating of your heart. You gripped the doorknob so tightly that your knuckles turned white, twisting your hand and pulling the door open.

“Ello love.”

He stood in the doorway with his hand resting on the top of the doorframe, towering over you. He had that sexy smirk plastered on his face and you ran your eyes up and down his figure, taking in the man before you. He was wearing a black t-shirt, which was loose but tight enough that his pecs were defined in the shirt. He had on a pair of black dress pants which the t-shirt was tucked into. There were tattoos littering his arms, which you hadn’t seen before because of the lab coat he wore during your appointment.

You thought he couldn’t get any hotter than before, but the person in front of you proved you wrong.

“Hi,” you murmured timidly, your boldness from the texting having disappeared. “Come in,” you stepped to the side, opening the door wider so he could step into your apartment. You closed the door, and against your better judgement you turned to the kitchen, trying to find that desperation that had allowed you to throw away all of your anxieties. “Do you want water or something?” You weren’t sure what to say, so you went with the default offer for a drink.

“No.”

You spun around, looking at Harry and tilting your head in confusion.

“I want you.”

He took a long stride forward and placed his large hand on the soft skin of your cheek, leaning in and connecting your lips with his. His lips were as soft as cloud, and you kissed him back with just as much vigor. The kiss was passionate, mixing moans into the drafty air. You sucked his bottom lip and bit down lightly, and a low growl bubbled up from his throat.

Your heart skipped a beat when his tongue swirled around yours. You jumped slightly at the impact of the wall on your back, Harry pushing you into the cold drywall.

Finally pulling away to allow breathing, you and Harry kept your foreheads pressing on each other, leaning some of his weight on you.

“Y’so beautiful darlin, reckon yeh the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

His hot breath hit your face when he breathed, and you were squirming underneath him.

“I could say the same for you,” you huffed out, refusing to break eye contact.

“Thank you baby,” he cooed, placing his veiny hand on your plump cheek and running his thumb across it. The tip of his finger reached your swollen lips, and he pushed his large thumb pass them. You eagerly sucked on the digit, hollowing your cheeks and treating it like you would his cock.

His free hand had found a home on your waist, but he hadn’t moved it since he initiated the kiss, and you were getting frustrated. You reached down and placed your hand atop his, looking up through your eyelashes into his emerald eyes. They’re piercing, and you knew that one stare from him would have any girl on her knees.

The tops of his cold rings touched your fingers when you peeled his hand from its strong grasp and your waist. You were looking at him with innocent doe eyes while you lifted his significantly larger hand and placed it back on your side, but this time at the same level as your breasts. He broke the deep eye contact you were sharing to look down at his hand, slowly shifting it to cup you through your thin tank top.

“M’baby girl is desperate fo me huh?” Harry teased you and you nodded frantically, whimpering in neediness. He pulled his finger from your wet mouth and in a split second he collided his lips with yours once again, but they didn’t remain there for long. He dragged his lips down your jaw, sucking and kissing down your neck. You tilted your head to give him better access, moaning when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot.

His hand that you had moved was pulling and squeezing at your full breast, eventually rucking your tank top up to pinch at your budding nipple underneath. You had removed your bra when you got home, and a small smirk tugged at your face when he moaned at the realization. A sheen of sweat was glistening on his forehead and you lifted your arms straight in the air, giving him permission to remove your top. He pulled it over your head hastily, only breaking the kiss for a moment when the fabric covered your face. You didn’t see what he did with the top, your focus diverted to the feeling of his lower torso. You had removed the hem of his shirt from underneath his pants, only leaving the back part tucked because you couldn’t reach it.

You splayed your hands over his hardened abs, and he snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you closer in response. His head was buried in the crook of your neck, leaving hickey after hickey on the silky skin. He nipped and licked at your skin as if you were a popsicle, sweet and refreshing.

“Daddy, please -- off!” Your moans cut off your words, rendering you unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Y’want me to take my shirt off baby? Such a naughty little minx y’are.”

Despite his teasing, he pulled away from you to grab the bottom of his shirt and ripped it off in one fell swoop.

You barely had time to take in the tattoos on his chest, only being able to identify a large butterfly right in the middle before he looped his arms around your waist. “Jump.” His command was quiet, but you heard it perfectly clear.

You bent your knees and jumped up, his arms following your motions. You lifted your legs and wrapped them around his bare torso. You hugged him tightly, your arms wrapping around his neck and sinking your face into his soft brown curls. His hair smelled of expensive shampoo, and you indulged in the sweet scent. “Behind you,” you whispered, directing him to your bedroom.

Without a second of hesitation, he turned around and carried you to the bedroom. You took it upon yourself to place sloppy kisses on his neck, giving him the same hickeys he had given you.

You giggled when he bent over the bed, dropping you from about an inch off the red comforter covering your bed.

“Don’t know why y’laughin’ pet, cause m’about to fuck yeh till yeh can’t walk.” You gasped when the dirty words registered in your head, and he sported a shit-eating grin on his face. His hands grasped your thighs and he ran them up and down, getting dangerously close to your core. You were writhing under his grasp, pleas for him to do something tumbling out of your mouth. “Patience baby.” He didn’t look up at you when he spoke, instead hiking your skirt up to get a look at your sopping cunt. “Look at you, s’wet already and I’ve barely touched you.”

“All for you, only for you Daddy.” Your words were wailed, every muscle in your body aching for a release. He traced his warm fingers along the crease of your thigh, right next to the place you needed him most.

“Gonna let me have a taste baby? Wanna taste yeh so bad.” He finally looked back up at you, but only for a second before his eyes connected with your glistening pussy again.

“N-no.”

Although you greatly wanted him to put his mouth on you, there was one thing you were craving more.

“No?” His demeanor changed immediately, removing his hands from your body and sitting on his knees between your calves. He removed every source of physical contact you were sharing, and you realized that he took your words in a way you hadn’t intended.

“Still want you Daddy, just want something else.” The second part of your sentence was murmured, and you turned your head to face away from him out of embarrassment. Out of your peripheral vision, you could see him raise an eyebrow, placing his hands by your shoulders and returning to his place hovering above you.

“Look at me little girl. Y’sure yeh don’t want me to taste yeh?”

You followed his command after a beat, looking at his disheveled state.

“What do yeh want baby? M’feelin generous today.” He was speaking in pants, his curls sticking to the perspiration-slick surface of his forehead.

“Wanna taste you Daddy. Please lemme-”

You reached down to unbuckle his belt, but he caught your hand before you could.

“Thas’ what this is all about? Such a slut f’me that you’d rather taste me then lemme taste you?” His hand moved to caress your cheek, running his finger across your saliva coated lip.

“Yes, wanna suck you off so bad Daddy.” You pushed out your lip forming an adorable pout, giving him your best puppy eyes and making sure he saw the tears of desperation welling in your lust blown eyes.

“Alright, alright, how do yeh wanna do it baby?” Instead of responding, you grasped the back of his firm thighs, pulling him up towards your face. He got the hint, shifting his knees to sit by your chest. You were now face to face with his very prominent bulge, and your mouth watered at the sight. Even though you wanted to unbuckle his belt yourself, he did it for you, allowing his rock hard erection to spring free after rolling down his boxers.

He stroked himself a few times, and you lifted your head to try and get him in your mouth. He pushed your shoulder down, and made it clear that he wanted to be in control. Finally, after much anticipation he placed his cock on the tip of your tongue, which you had stuck out for him to do exactly that.

You accepted it eagerly, sucking harshing on the tip of his cock. He moaned lowly, tilting his head backwards in ecstasy. You ran your tongue along his sensitive slit, reveling in the filthy noises and expletives that spilled out of his sweet pink lips.

Once you were satisfied with your teasing, you took him in your mouth about halfway, stopping before you gagged. Your hand made its way to the base of his thick shaft, pumping the part of him that you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You bobbed your head up and down his cock, your tongue twisting and twirling around his member. You made sure to pay extra attention to his tip, giving it kitten licks when you needed to take a breather. Each time you took him back in your mouth, you pushed yourself further down, this time gagging after pushing him all the way down your throat. He stopped his groans of pleasure to look down at you, and he swore he could cum from just seeing you under him with smeared mascara and teary eyes. “Y’ok baby?” You nodded with him still in your mouth. You stilled for a moment, trying to think of a way to tell him that you wanted him to fuck your mouth. His hand was holding your hair out of your face as a makeshift hair tie, and you decided to tap on the wrist of that hand to give him permission. He looked down at you and raised his eyebrows, a silent gesture to assure you were okay with it. You nodded, his cock moving up and down with your head. He didn’t need any more instructions, pushing your head down on his shaft instantly.

You choked and gagged as he took control, moving your head up and down his thick cock. “Doin’ so well f’me baby, taking m’cock like a good little slut.” His purrs of approval were raspy, moan and gasps chopping his sentence up. Periodically, he pulled you off of him, allowing you to catch your breath before plunging back down on his member again.

The sudden pulsing of his cock inside your mouth was a wordless praise, and you were incredibly proud that you were able to bring him to his orgasm as quickly as you did.

He pulled you off of him again, and you heaved a few times as you filled your lungs back up with oxygen. But unlike before, he didn’t bring you back onto his cock, even pulling you back when you attempted to put him back in your mouth yourself. You cried out when he repositioned himself between your legs, back in the place he was when you were first on the bed.

All you wanted to do was finish him off, but he wouldn’t let you for a reason that was unknown to you.

“Daddy!” You were about to beg and whine to finish him off but his index finger on your lips kept you from your begging.

“As much as I’d love t’watch yeh swallow m’cum, I need t’feel this gorgeous cunt of yours.”

You quivered when the bands of his icy cold rings gripped the warm, supple flesh of your inner thighs. They dug into your skin, sending a pleasurable tingling sensation throughout your body, landing in your core.

If you were horny before, there wasn’t even a word to describe how utterly turned on you were now.

Your skirt was already hiked up from before, but Harry wanted it off fully. He ran his fingers across the waistband, finally finding the zipper and unzipping it faster than you could blink. “Bloody hell baby,” he grunted, taking a moment to admire your fully naked body squirming under him, begging for him to touch you. He wished he had a camera to capture you in this state, only thinking about one thing, him.

He stood up, his feet barely hitting the floor before he yanked his pants and boxers off. He was huge, and you stared at his prick in awe, even though you’ve been looking at it. His size was truly difficult to take in, because usually a big cock is either long or thick, not both. But Harry was both and some, and you were convinced that you would be content sucking on it for the rest of your life.

Distracted by your own dirty thoughts, you weren’t paying attention to what Harry was doing, only being shocked out of your haze when he ran two of his fingers across your sticky folds. He pulled his fingers away as your body jolted, surprised by the sudden contact. Strings of your arousal connected your cunt to his fingers, and he cursed under his breath. His fingers were covered in your juices and he stuck the digits in his mouth, sucking happily when he finally got to taste your sweet, sweet nectar.

He hummed constantly when he took the fingers out of his mouth. “Taste even sweeter than I imagined, baby. Could eat y’up all day long.”

You mewled and kicked your legs, tired of all of the teasing. “Daddy... just want you inside me!” He hushed you and reassured you that he would take care of you, leaning over your body and positioning himself on top of you. He lined himself up with you, his tip bumping your puffy clit. You whimpered and Harry took the message, finally pushing his rock hard cock into your soaking wet core.

“Fuck -- Daddy you’re s-so big,” you whined. He tilted forward, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

It took a minute for him to bottom out, Harry pushing in slowly to minimize the sting. There was a bit of pain as your body conformed to fit him inside of your tight little hole.

“Fuck baby, y’so fucking tight, might come just from this.” He had a silly smile on his face, but you both knew there was no joke laced between his words. He latched his darkened lips on an indent by your collar bone, nipping and licking on the skin while he waited for the approval to move.

“Move. Please move.”

The first thrust was hard and fast, he pulled almost fully out of you and then slammed him hips back up into you.

“Shit!”

Just like when you had him in your mouth, you could feel the thick veins running along his sizable shaft. He repeated the same type of movement for the next few thrusts, pounding into you and drawing back out over and over.

“So,” “Fuckin,” “Beautiful,”

Each of his words preceded a snapping of his hips, slamming into you particularly hard after calling you beautiful.

“Feels- feels so good, so good Daddy.” You were sobbing with pleasure. His thick cock filled you up so good it was like he was made for you.

“Didn’t even think it was possible f’someone t’be this tight baby. You’re takin’ meh so well sweet girl, so so well.” He found a rhythm, snapping his hips into yours, your velvety walls engulfing his cock perfectly. Watching himself disappear inside your tight hole egged Harry on even more, as well as the noises that your juices made when he rammed himself inside your pretty little cunt. His thumb was pressed against your clit, circling the overly sensitive bundle of nerves. Pleasure was coursing through your veins, the firey burning feeling better than anything you had ever felt before.

Your hands were spread across his back, nails digging crescent shaped divots into the skin. Each time your fingers dug into the expanse of his back he growled, so you did it after each thrust. His lips were everywhere, kissing and licking all of the exposed skin that he could reach.

“Daddy..”

He took your pebbled nibble into his mouth, unable to resist after watching your tits bounce when he pushed himself in and out of you.

“So good baby, s’like y’were made fo me,” he cooed, your reply dying in your throat when he pressed his lips to yours.

You bit each other’s lips and swirled tongues like you had done at the beginning of the night. After a minute of rough kisses, he pulled away, and you both gasped for air. You could tell his thrusts were getting sloppier, and his cock twitched inside of you like it had when you took him in your mouth.

“Was made for you, just you.”

“Thas’ my good girl.”

His hand instinctively reached for your throat, and you watched his cheek heat up when he realized what he had done. But you grabbed his hand and placed it back on your throat. “Please,” you croaked out, desperate for him to choke you and make you see stars.

He smirked and obliged, pressing on the sides of your throat but avoiding your windpipe. Euphoria overtook your body at the new found sensation and the knot that had formed in your stomach was threatening to come loose. The tightness in your stomach translated to your center, and you clenched tightly around Harry.

“Y’gonna come? Can feel y’squeezin me love, lets come together yeah?” You gave him a tiny nod of agreement, too weak from your impending orgasm to give him a better response. “Let go f’me baby.”

The knot in your stomach uncoiled rapidly, bursting inside of you and sending shudders throughout every inch of your body. Seconds later Harry released inside of you, his hot ropes of cum painting your walls. Your eyesight got blurry and white spots clouded your vision as Harry worked you both through your climaxes. You thought the orgasm he gave you at your appointment was strong, but this one sent you to another plane of reality.

His movements slowed and he removed his thumb from your swollen button, which you were thankful for due to your hypersensitivity.

When you finally came back to reality, Harry was above you, pulling himself out of you. You placed your hand on his cheek, diverting his green eyes to look at yours. “Stay in, please?” He simply nodded, pushing back into you fully. He was already hardening again, but who could blame him? Your face alone was enough to get him rock hard and leaking precome.

He rolled you two to your sides, cuddling into each other’s bare chests. You shared no more words, both of you drifting off to a blissful sleep within minutes. But you didn’t need to ask him to know that this was the first time you slept together, but most definitely not the last.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || He Walks Out In A Fight [Request]

A/N: I tried to give them all different tropes/AU’s so that it could be different from my other works! I have a mixture of angsty endings and fluffy endings! Sorry guys no part 2 💞💕

SEOKJIN: (Non Idol Au)

Jin stared at you as you accused him of once again cheating on you, his phone was in your hand unlocked but he just stared at you. He knew for a fact that he had nothing to hide from you, that he would never cheat on you since you were the love of his life but no matter what you found a way to say he was cheating. Finding girls names in his contacts and not believing that they were people from work, messages from girls you'd never heard of before all messaging him and asking him questions about his day with flirty suggestive comments attached to them. 

"You have guys in your messages, do you see me kicking off like this?" He asked calmly as he stared at you, you shook your head at him. 

"I tell them I've got a boyfriend unlike you. You just thank them and then give them a compliment!" You yelled out, throwing his phone in his direction as he caught it, looking at the messages to a girl he was supposedly cheating on you with. "Ashley" a guy friend from work who he was going out for a drink with that weekend, 

"You're going out for a drink with her, so tell me. What's she like? Is she pretty?" Jin groaned as you continued to yell out questions about someone called Ashley who you were convinced was a girl when in actual reality he was the newest member of Jin's work. 

"She's a he and we're going to get drinks with work buddies. You're reading too much into this," He was starting to feel defeated as he stared at you but you shook your head. Adamant that he was cheating on you so you just stared at him. 

"It's fine if you want to sleep with other people Jin, I already slept with your best friend." Jin's mouth fell open as he stared at you dumbfounded that you would just openly admit to cheating on him when you had just been ranting and raving about him messaging someone else. 

"Un-fucking-believable," He grumbled as he began walking out of the house but you followed him over to his car, 

"Not nice when it's the other way around is it?!" You snapped as he got into the car and started up his engine, 

"The difference is Y/n, I never cheated." He drove out of the drive way and off into the night, going to stay at a friends place while he cleared his head from you.

YOONGI: (Reader is a Rich CEO)

There was no secret that your relationship with Yoongi wasn't always perfect, every small fight and debate between the two of you were splashed around the headlines since you were a famous CEO which meant cameras followed you everywhere you went. Including secret spending sprees when you told Yoongi that you had an important business meeting instead of a shopping spree. 

"I don't see the big deal with going shopping, it's my money." It was true that you could do whatever you wanted with your money but that wasn't what Yoongi was mad about. He was angry at the fact that you had once again lied to him about where you had been and it was starting to get on his nerves. 

"I've been at home waiting for you, the least you could have done was called." He snapped at you, making you roll your eyes as you shook your head at him.

"I'm too tired for this fight, can we just drop it?" You moaned as you sat down on the sofa waiting for this all to be over but Yoongi wasn't going to drop it this easily. 

"All you do is spend, spend, spend your money! Do you know the only thing you don't do? You never want to spend time with me. We could have had a nice day out but you never bother to!" You rolled your eyes standing up suddenly, 

"Do you have any idea how much of a bitch you sound right now?" The words flew out before you even had time to process what you were saying and Yoongi stared at you a little shocked, 

"You're just jealous because I earn more money than you'll ever make in four years. So yes! I went out and I spent money on myself because I fucking earned it! What's wrong? I didn't spend my money on you?" Yoongi grabbed his coat from the coat rack and you stormed after him, telling him not to walk out of the door or things would be over for good. 

"Great! Then I won't have to deal with you anymore," He yelled at you as you stared back at him just as shocked as he had been when you bought up the fact that you earned more money than him.  You knew it was his biggest insecurity while he was with you, all of the media portrayed him as a money-grabbing man and he was now sure that you felt the same way. 

"You're unbelievable," He told you before walking out of the door, shutting it behind him as he began his walk into the town not wanting to take the car that you'd bought for him.

The media was all over the breakup within days of it happening, everyone taking his side instead of yours as news broke out about what you had said to him in the midst of your fight. It was made clear that Yoongi wasn't going to go back to you even if you begged him to.

HOSEOK: (Non idol AU)

"We have to talk about this," Hoseok said as he stared at you, you were sitting across from him in your kitchen, a positive pregnancy test laid out in front of him as he glanced to and from it. 

"Talk about what?" You whispered as you looked back at Hoseok, you'd hoped when you told him you were pregnant you would be overcome with a wave of relief but you weren't, it only made you worry more and more about it. You'd gone through everything in your head, neither of you was ready to bring a child into the world. Neither of you earned enough to support three people and there was no way the tiny apartment you were living in would be big enough for you two and a growing child. 

"We're too young for this," You shook your head, sliding the test into the bin as you pulled out some papers on adoption, it was the one thing you'd had on your mind since finding out you were pregnant. 

"You want to give our baby away?" His question was laced with venom and you shook your head, 

"We could give a family a new start, someone that's been wanting kids for a while could finally have one." You tried to explain it but Hoseok wasn't listening to reason he began shaking his head, telling you that he wanted to keep the child with you and him. 

"We can be a family-"

"We aren't ready Hoseok! You still act like an immature child! We don't even own a place or car big enough to grow a family. Can't you see this is for the better," You had tears running down your cheeks but Hoseok was shaking his head, all he could hear was how you'd called him an immature child.

"I can provide for us all, I'll give us a good life-"

"I would love to keep them with you but With what? We don't earn enough, we're still too young for this Hobi." But he shook his head at you again, getting up and heading to the door. Further proving your point that he acted like a child whenever he could get his own way. 

"Just walk away like you always do," You mumbled as he slammed the door behind himself. 

A month later Hoseok showed up at your doorstep, flowers in hand with a box. 

"Is this your way of proposing?" You asked unimpressed as you stared at him, the two of you had only been in contact over text messages and neglected to bring up the pregnancy conversation with one another. This was the first time you'd seen him face to face since the fight. 

"Open the box." He sighed putting the flowers down on your counter and watching as you opened the box, frowning when you saw two sets of keys inside. 

"What's this?" You pulled them out and Hoseok smiled, 

"The first is the key to our new minivan and the second is the key to our new place...A house...Somewhere we can raise our little one together...If you want to." Your eyes lit up as you stared at Hoseok wondering how he'd gotten all of this in such a short amount of time.

"I've had the house for a while...I-I'd been doing it up and so I took some paid holidays and finished it. The car is on finance but with my promotion, we can do this." All you did was lean forward and kiss him deeply.

NAMJOON: (Mafia AU)

"Where have you been? I've been calling you all night long!" Namjoon called out as you walked through the door, all night? It wasn't even 5 pm yet. You dropped the bag you'd carried home from work and sighed as he rushed to your sighed, watching you closely. 

"I had a meeting, it ran late. I text you." You whined, hanging up your shoes and coat, not ready for the same long and boring speech that he always gave to you whenever you were late or not somewhere he could see you. 

"You could have gotten hurt, someone could have hurt you." He panicked, taking your face in his hands and turning it in different directions so he could see if you had been hurt or if you were even really you. Lately, he'd been more paranoid than usual and it was starting to bug you with the constant questioning about where you were every minute of every day. 

"I'm fine. I got a ride home with Jimin, Joonie I'm fine." You got out of his grasp and headed towards the kitchen, wanting to get a strong drink if you were going to have to go through the speech about you needing a guard around you. Namjoon was in business with the Mafia and he was dating you which meant you were a walking target, anybody could decide to grab you at any point in time but you didn't want a guard, you didn't want to be protected all of the time. 

"I don't need someone telling me when and where I can't do or go somewhere Namjoon!" You finally snapped as he brought up the idea of a guard once again. The glass was smashed onto the table as you slammed it down too hard and you let out a hiss as you saw some blood coming from a small cut. Namjoon instantly went into panic mode, grabbing onto you and trying to force you to go to the hospital but you backed away from him wanting to scream out. 

"You're so fucking overprotective! Leave me alone! I am fine!" You screamed as you finally reached your breaking point, Namjoon stared at you in silence as he waited to see if you were serious.

"I'm overprotective?"

"Yes! You never let me do anything, do you know how pathetic it is?!" That was all it took, he walked out of the house leaving you in complete silence and on your own as he went to clear his head. 

Namjoon came back to the house the next day to find you curled up in his bed wearing one of his shirts, tear stains down your face. 

"Babe?" He frowned as he walked over to you, dropping his keys onto the counter thinking something was wrong but as soon as you heard him you jumped up. Running over as you wrapped your arms around his neck, begging him not to leave you like that again.

"What happened?" He asked as he pulled away, holding your face as he looked into your eyes ready to kill whoever had hurt you but you shook your head. 

"I-I just realised why you're so protective...I-I should have been more considerate...Last night I couldn't eat or sleep because you weren't here," You began crying again but all he did was wrap his arms around you, kissing the top of your head whispering that he was never going to leave you again while you told him over and over again how sorry you were for what you had said to him.

JIMIN: (Vampire AU)

"I don't want you to spend time with him, why is that a problem?" Jimin questioned as he stared at you, you were staring back at him while shaking your head. 

"Because you're acting like a jealous teenager," You mumbled, folding your arms over your chest as you raised your eyebrows at your boyfriend who was being a jealous, overprotective and possessive boyfriend. 

"I am a teenager," You sprinted over to him with your vampiric speed and tilted your head to the side, 

"We're both 248 years old...How do you work that out," The two of you had been together for almost 222 years, both of you had changed into vampires when you were 26-years old after almost dying in a terrible accident. A doctor decided to change you both at the same time and took you in as his own, now you were acting as young as you could get away with. Ageing in different towns. Currently, you were portraying 18-years-old in a college together as a couple. 

"It's just a study session with Justin, he needs my help in biology," You reassured Jimin that there was nothing going on between you and Justin but Jimin didn't see it the way you did. He saw Justin as a threat, he was younger than both of you and human...What if you decided you wanted to be with Justin instead and changed him into one of you or worse. What if Justin found out what you were and threatened to expose you to everyone? Jimin's grip tightened on you and you stared at him, 

"I'll be fine," A car honked from outside the library and you looked out of the window, Justin was there waiting for you. 

"Don't go. You don't know him! He could hurt you," You rolled your eyes at Jimin before shaking your head, 

"You're so possessive and jealous, it's boring Jimin!" In all your years of being together, you'd never once called him boring or possessive or jealous and it hurt to know that's how you felt about him. As if you could see the dials turning in his head you tried to tell him you didn't mean it but he'd already run out of the building in the blink of an eye leaving you alone there.

Jimin could sense there was something wrong the second you walked through the door and it wasn't because you had blood on your shirt which he knew for a fact wasn't yours since you didn't bleed. 

"What happened?" He rushed to your side holding your face as you stared at him, 

"He knew. He knew about what we were...I-I had to take care of it," You mumbled as you dropped a bag down onto the floor, Jimin already knew what was inside from the smell of blood coming to his nose as he looked at it before looking back at you.

"I should have listened to you...You're always right," You mumbled as you told Jimin you both needed to get out of the city and fast since you didn't know if Justin had already told people what he knew or not. Luckily for you and Jimin it was just the two of you on the run, if you were with the rest of your family it would have been a lot harder.

TAEHYUNG: ( Friends with benefits trope)

It hadn't meant to come out this way, you and Taehyung were just supposed to be sex buddies but on what planet did that ever actually work out? None was the answer. It was a dumb idea to have if you thought it was ever going to work, 

"I told you I didn't want a relationship when we started this, what's the big deal?" You questioned as Taehyung began rushing around to find his clothes you'd torn off him earlier that night. He let out a tut as he shook his head disapprovingly at you, 

"I thought maybe you'd changed your mind, maybe you'd grown a heart and decided to let someone love you!" You rolled your eyes at him as if this was some sort of romantic movie or novel that would result in you loving one another. 

"We're friends! Nothing will change that," You tried to tell him but he just scoffed at you not wanting to listen to it all over again, 

"Last time I checked, friends don't fuck each other the way we do," You shook your head at him, 

"You're unbelievable! How could you think I would ever love you like that?!" The world seemed to stop moving and you were left staring at one another from across your bedroom floor. Taehyung's eyes were red as he started to cry but you didn't feel guilt. You told him from the start that you didn't want to deal with the emotions of being in a relationship, that what was going on between you was just sex. 

"Did you really just say that?" Tears rolled down his cheeks as he waited for you to answer him, 

"It's just sex. I don't like you like that," He nodded his head as he dressed himself, walking out of the apartment and slamming the door so hard your picture frame fell off the wall and smashed onto the floor leaving you to stare at it as he stormed off. 

Four months later you were walking around the mall with some friends when you bumped into Taehyung with a group of his friends, you locked eyes with one another and you didn't know if you should have waved or kept your head down but Taehyung answered it for you. Turning his face away from you and talking with the guys as though he hadn't even seen you standing there in front of him, you couldn't blame him after what you'd said to him though so you just kept walking, not looking over your shoulder.

JUNGKOOK: ( Idol x Reader)

You sighed as Jungkook continued to yell at you for going out when he specifically told you not to, it wasn't as though he was keeping you in the house all of the time or being overly protective of you. That weekend he had plans to spend the entire time with you, wanting to be alone for a while instead of with the boys or your friends but you'd snuck out the night before and didn't come back until the early hours. Still drunk as you stood across from Jungkook in the living room, 

"Can you stop yelling? I have a headache," You mumbled to him wanting nothing more than to head up to your bed and forget the night before even happened. 

"This was the first time we would have been alone together in a while, can you blame me for missing you?" Your back was turned to him so he didn't see you roll your eyes at the statement so you just walked up the stairs to the bedroom, falling down onto the mattress as you let out a huge sigh. 

"I just want to sleep," You moaned at him, rolling over so your head was buried between the pillows and the sunlight wasn't hurting your eyes anymore, 

"Didn't you miss me?" You stayed silent as Jungkook questioned you, walking back into the room with a sad expression written across his face. He figured you must have missed him as much as he missed you during the week, you hardly got to see one another thanks to his busy schedule at the studios. 

"It's just like when you go on tour. It's no big deal. I'm used to it," You drunkenly mumbled into the pillow, closing your eyes as you saw no problem with what you had said but to Jungkook it felt as though you'd taken his heart from his chest and stomped it into the ground. 

"You don't miss me? Do you even love me?" You let out a groan at his question, rolling over to face him. He had tears running down his cheeks as he stared at you, waiting for you to answer him he had fears running around his head at what you might say but nothing could have prepared him for it.

"Do you have any idea how fucking clingy you sound right now?" You grumbled before laying back down, staring at the ceiling while Jungkook stormed out of the room. Slamming the door behind him as he headed into the spare bedroom for the night, he'd heard enough from you. 

The next morning when you finally emerged from the bedroom you found Jungkook sitting in the living room eating lunch on his own, 

"Morning baby, what time did I come in?" You questioned tiredly as you sat down beside him, attempting to cuddle up beside him but he shifted away from your touch. 

"Babe?" You frowned looking at him as he continued to stare at the screen that had some old sit-com running instead of at you. You went to touch his arm but he got up, 

"I don't want to be too clingy for you." He snapped and that was when it hit you. Memories of the night before came flooding back to you as you groaned at him. 

"J-Jungkook, I didn't mean it, I was drunk-"

"Drunk words are sober thoughts," He snapped before heading into the kitchen to clean up but you weren't going to let him get away with that, you just rushed over to him. Wrapping your arms around him from behind and burying your face in his back, 

"I know you're going away s-soon...I was pushing you away so I wouldn't feel so hurt when you go on tour," You explained your backwards way of thinking and you felt Jungkook's body physically relax as he realised you weren't serious the night before. 

"It was dumb and I should have said something to you instead of just acting like a bitch," He nodded in agreement, letting you say everything you needed to say before the two of you spent the day with your hangover on the sofa together.

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