#now I’m blind
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shallowbreaths · 8 months ago
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She was an artist like my mother. She was good, and I loved talking to them both about art. I’m NOT an artist! But I have learned life changing concepts from art. Such as, artists rely on shading in order to make things look real. They don’t call it shading though, it’s referred to as “value”. I had long hated my darkness, but through them I learned it’s what made me real. It’s what defined my curves and contours.
Our last conversation was rough. She was hurt and I was wrong. It’s hard communicating in a loving tone when you’re hurt, but she managed because that’s who she is. It’s hard to listen when you know you are the villain of the tale. To know that you’re just one more in a line of people that have used, hurt, and disappointed her. The guilt and shame of it… that’s a private pain that no one less than God would truly understand. That brings me to “perspective”. I thought I saw things clearly, and perhaps I did, but I was standing in a place I didn’t belong and I was focused on things I shouldn’t have been focused on. Everything else began to blur as I tried to make my bad choices seem like good ones.
That conversation was painful. It’s stuck with me, and now I look back on what I did and I shake my head and wonder what was wrong with me! I actually know now. I get it, and I’m not saying I wasn’t dead wrong because I was, but at least now I get it. Over time people get into habits and ruts and we develop narratives and beliefs, and the next thing you know, the relationship that was once great is now damaged or even broken. It happens to every relationship that isn’t diligently working on the relationship regularly. You start to feel unappreciated, or unloved, sometimes even hated or useless. Look at the sheer number of marriages that end in divorce, or the ones that don’t end but probably should have.
I was focused on the entirely wrong things. My perspective seemed to slip a couple of degrees regularly until one day I realized I was looking the entirely wrong direction. If I had ever, just once, put myself in their position and imagined what I was doing from their perspective then I suppose I never would have been able to do it without seeing I was a bad guy. This way I was able to think I was learning and growing and getting better even as I did the opposite. I have an entirely different “emotional perspective” now. My world is different. Once again in large part to her. She has saved me yet again. I have learned volumes from her and now that my perspective is different so are my memories. They’ve taken on new tones.
I’m so grateful for her. I’m grateful that she was there when literally no one was. I’m grateful that she was so comfortable in speaking her mind and her willingness to put me in check. I’m grateful that she went to a lot of trouble to redefine the word “love” for me, because I see it now and it’s the most beautiful thing ever. I’m grateful that she spoke her mind before leaving. I’m grateful that she didn’t try to hurt me back because I would have opened my veins had she requested it that night. I’m just grateful for how she irrevocably changed me for the better. I hope she’s happy. I hope my idiocy passed from her like a fading dream and that she’s perfectly herself.
This song is wonderful. This really is what I’d want to say to her mostly. I wouldn’t want to defend myself. Not that she’d want anything to do with me, but this is what I’d want her to know if she asked. Then she should know that I’m eternally grateful to her and for her. She is the greatest of masterpieces, and like all great art, I am different for having experienced her.
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potato-lord-but-not · 5 months ago
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I will start sobbing violently no one look at me
Poem by Natalie Wee
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daeyumi · 8 months ago
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i love it when ppl put kirby into desserts
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clownsuu · 1 year ago
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Mini apology doodle since I didn’t post yesterday 😔🥄🥄
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bluegiragi · 11 months ago
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okay, first of all, absolutely goddamn feral about you, your art, writing, ideas and aus i am chewing on the bars of my cage and foaming at the mouth and screeching incoherent and rolling around on the floor and- ough... anyway
i do have a very self indulgent question, particularly about Monster AU Ghost and Price, but also extending towards the rest of 141 with their involvement
at one point you mentioned that wraiths were rare, and ghost would likely feel pity towards another one
what would happen if they did come across another wraith? especially someone fairly fresh, maybe even young, younger than any of them. is there anything anyone could do to help them? would they help? price seems to know how to handle ghost well enough, and seems like hes been around since ghost's transformation, but how would ghost himself handle seeing someone else go through something like what he did? if he had to, what advice would he give them that he never got?
just been rotting in my brain 😭 ily gira and i hope youre taking care of yourself, thank you so much for the work you put in and share with us 🥺💕
this!! is!! such a good question, anon!!!! I think there's a lot of sides to that kind of situation, especially if it’s a younger person since I hc Ghost as having a massive soft spot for kids.
lots of writing under the cut!!! my braincells were FEASTING.
I think if it was just Ghost and the newly-born wraith, he'd try to mercy-kill it. The circumstances that lead to the creation of a wraith are truly harrowing, and while Simon understands the desire for revenge that burns at the core of every freshly made wraith, he also believes their plight is a kind of torture. In his mind, it would be kind to put one out of their misery. He wouldn't take any pleasure in it - I think overall, it would be a miserable affair for all parties involved.
If Price or any of the others were around, I think they’d try to convince him to take them under his wing so to speak. But while Ghost currently operates decently with his support system, he’s extremely lucky and should be considered the exception to the trend. Price was instrumental in his recovery - years of working under him solidified Price in his subconscious as an authority figure he could trust. When Ghost lost control, he could still rely on instinct - even with his mind fracturing, Price never changed. But not everyone has this kind of person immediately available to them, and it was crucial that Price got to him as soon as he did. What Ghost is now is not what a wraith commonly looks like. Price dragged him back from a brink.
New wraiths are sort of like rabid dogs, with no sense of self preservation. They’d approach every confrontation with the kind of frenzy you’d see in someone fighting for their life. They’d also be basically impossible to immobilize - you’ve seen how Simon goes wispy at times, imagine trying to handcuff a cloud of smoke. If it came down to a situation where any of the 141 were in danger, Ghost wouldn’t hold back. He’d put the other wraith down.
But if Ghost met another wraith who’d survived that first explosion of fury and managed to calm down, AND the 141 were with him, I think he’d try to help. They bring out the best in him.
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inklore · 5 months ago
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no because you guys don’t understand how important it is to me that even after everything, after pen accepts his engagement, after they have their first time together and pen is looking at colin like he’s hung the stars and is her prince charming, colin is still thinking she doesn’t love him the way he loves her. he thinks she’s going through it during their engagement party because he’s overwhelmed her with his feelings. he tells her that it’s okay if she’s changed her mind and she doesn’t feel the same way anymore. about him. about their engagement. that if she just got swept up in the moment in the carriage it’s okay. he’s okay with it, he understands, he’s willing to go through that heartache he just wants her to be okay. like oh my god.
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seeminglydark · 25 days ago
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The Seer and The Unseen
Little side by side eye meme I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Caro’s standing on the blind side of him but he doesn’t need to see them to know them.
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psychopacifist-rm · 5 months ago
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One more successful photo from the fest
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thatorangedrank · 2 years ago
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Little is Alyx 👎🏻
Little is Penny 👎🏻
Little is a reflection of Ruby in Vol.1 and is a physical representation of “healing your inner child” 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
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guest-1-2-3 · 7 months ago
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so. never consumed any mcu content whatsoever. however i have recently stumbled upon peter parker/harley keener fanfics, went down a rabbit hole, and am now obsessed with their dynamic and i realized i have just fallen into the trap of another blond + southerner + sarcastic + calls-his-boyfriend-darlin’ + infinitely supportive + big fucking nerd x incredibly traumatized + sarcastic + italian + orphan + definitely-started-saving-the-world-too-young + big fucking nerd ship. i am nothing if not predictable
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only-lonely-www · 8 months ago
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So basically ATLA brain rot has hit me like a truck
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poetkane04 · 3 months ago
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I do fucking love the later seasons of SPN, the domestic wincest content alone gives me so much life but omg fucking Kripke!era SPN is bone-chilling, wing-flapping, inconceivably, sickeningly, TWISTED AND BEAUTIFUL AND PACKED WITH WINCEST LIKE FUCK
I am T H I S close to going back and rewatching early SPN because I am craving the gritty motel aesthetic and long shots of the Impala, not to mention the religious undertones????
Hell the religious undertones alone give me life holy shit and like you can’t have a fucking ANGEL from the LEGITIMATE HEAVEN, call Sam and Dean “erotically codependent” and then say there’s no evidence of wincest existing at all
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myokk · 5 months ago
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Imelda x Poppy🥹💓
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madbard · 2 months ago
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You know what? Screw it.
Draw Error wearing glasses.
Draw Epic with the full Dust shadow over his face.
Draw Killer biting his knife.
Draw Dream looking like he could arm wrestle God.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
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afterartist · 4 months ago
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Undyne tries to act cool all the time but she falls down the stairs every day because she has absolutely no depth perception
(This is why Alphys installed escalators into the lab instead of stairs)
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sunnfish · 1 year ago
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[ID: A digital illustration of Sissel from Ghost Trick. He is shown from a lower angle, as if the viewer were looking up at him. He has a hand close to the viewer and clutching a glowing soul core. His other hand is in his pocket, and he has a serious expression on his face. The background is the clock that appears when you time travel in the game, consisting of a glowing red clock face and glowing red lines radiating from it on a black background. The art style mimics that of the game’s, with sharp black lines and shading. The color palette is mostly red, with some light blue radiating from the soul. The artist’s signature “sunnfish 2023” is written on his leg. /End ID]
Change your fate.
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