#now I remember it’s cause she thinks Nick hasn’t planned anything and is disappointed in him and in herself for that feeling

[mydreamsarentrare]

*

[buck-buck-boose]

I'll Love You 'Til I Die

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: A Brooklyn schoolgirl fell in love with James Buchanan Barnes at the tender age of nine. With this love she made a vow, promising to love him until her very last breath.

Pairing: Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Language, violence

Word Count: 4.3k

Author's Note: I am... so sorry for taking so long. I was not expecting the start of the semester to be so hectic. I can't promise I'll go back to posting as regularly as during the summer, but I can promise that I'm not disappearing. I promise. I WILL SEE THIS FANFIC THROUGH EVEN IF IT KILLS ME. Thank you for the kind words and support while I've been MIA. Enjoy a chunky chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Little Saint Lottie

October 27, 1943

“I’m worried about her, Betty.”

“I know, Gladys. I know.”

Lottie couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten a full night’s rest. Days seemed to bleed into each other, with no slumber to distinguish today from tomorrow. It wasn’t long after arriving at Azzano that she realized that he wasn’t waiting for her. Bucky was gone. In his place, dozens of men awaited her arrival with sunken eyes and twitching lips that begged for relief, whether it be through a healing touch or a final blow to the head.

When the realization hit Lottie, there wasn’t much she could do besides throwing herself into her work; if she couldn’t help Bucky, the least she could do was help his brothers in arms. Although anxiety ate her up from the inside out, Lottie had confidence in Bucky’s abilities. He wouldn’t let himself die in some POW camp, he just wouldn’t. Because then who would take care of her and Steve? He’d fight tooth and nail to get back to them, she just knew it.

She threw herself into her work, rarely stopping long enough to have a proper conversation or a full meal; this bad habit of hers came to a halt, though, when she came upon a boisterous redhead in need of stitches. Lottie had been deep in thought while examining the gash above his forehead when the soldier cracked a grin and peered up at her without moving his head too much.

“Do I know you from somewhere?”

Lottie shook her head, “I’m afraid not, Private—” she glanced at his dog tags, “—O’Connor.”

“Ever done pinup? Maybe I know you from one of those cheesecakes we’ve got hanging up.” The man— more of a boy really, with his lanky frame and jovial smile —wiggled his eyebrows and ruined her diligent work of cleaning the blood from his wound.

The question left Lottie flustered; the idea of dozens of men gawking at her scantily clad figure left her feeling mortified, “Certainly not! I find that my talents are better suited for healing.”

O’Connor nodded and inspected her face carefully as she went to work on his gash once more. “I’ve got it!” Lottie nearly jumped away from him when he clapped his hands together, “You’re Little Saint Lottie, in the flesh!” The boy crowed his revelation, earning him glares from the other men recovering in the medic tent.

Lottie nearly dropped the needle that she’d been preparing to thread, “Excuse me?”

“Ah, it’s a funny story,” O’Connor chuckled, “Y’see, Sarge had this little photo he’d take everywhere. Always had it in his pocket, tucked in his helmet, you name it. Wouldn’t let the damn thing go. Anyway, we stole it out of his fatigues one day while he was cleaning up in some river ‘cause we wanted to see what the big deal was. Once we saw it was some dame—” Lottie shot him a look, “—lady, we started yanking his chain about it. He was just about as obsessed with that photo as my Ma is with her holy cards, so when he finally told us your name, we dubbed you ‘Little Saint Lottie,’ patron saint of the one hundred and seventh. That kinda pissed him off, but it’s not like you’re his girl, y’know? Though he sure acted like you were.”

Lottie was speechless. About halfway through his story, her mouth had dropped open and her hands had fallen to her lap. Here she was, looking dumb as an ox, while the soldier in front of her chuckled with childish glee.

“Me and the guys would even ask for your intercession whenever the chaplain came by to pray with us. Poor guy had no clue which saint we were talkin’ about. We tried to give it a place of honor in the tent but Sarge made us run laps when he found out we’d nicked it again.”

O’Connor nearly doubled over in laughter as he watched Lottie’s expression grow in horror. “Well as I’m sure Bucky— Sergeant Barnes has told you, I’m no saint. I’m just a nurse. Now hold still, unless you want these stitches to be more painful than they already are.” Before she could stop herself, the question came tumbling out of her mouth, “Speaking of Sergeant Barnes, do you know—” she fumbled with the needle as she made the first stitch, “—is he alright? Did you see him?” The soldier let out a hiss of pain, “Yeah, I got a glimpse of him while they were takin’ him away. He was battered but alright. There’s no man quite like Sarge, I know he’ll be back. He’d fight tooth and nail to get back. That’s what he said at least, ‘cause he always went on and on about how you needed him and all that. He sure talked about you an awful lot for a guy who hasn’t even asked you to go steady.”

Lottie’s breath hitched at the final comment, the mere idea of going steady with Bucky reducing her to a stuttering schoolgirl. She began to tie off his stitches, “We’ve been best friends for over a decade, it’s perfectly normal to care for each other deeply without bringing affection into it.”

O’Connor shrugged, which jostled her arm slightly, “I’ve never heard a guy talk about his best friend like that.”

Lottie didn’t respond. She gave his fully sutured wound one last glance, “Looks like you’re all set. Now don’t do anything stupid to get it infected.”

He gave her a crooked grin and wiggled his eyebrows, Lottie nearly scolded him but held her tongue, “As you wish, Saint Lottie.”

Lottie rolled her eyes and moved along to the next bed, where another soldier waited with a smile just as wide. It seemed that these men had become pleased as punch to know their patroness had come to grace them with her presence.

The USO’s visit to their camp took Lottie completely by surprise. She’d spent so much time floating from one medic tent to the next that she’d ended up completely out of the loop of the camp’s other goings-on. It wasn’t until she saw the fully-erected stage in the middle of camp that she realized. Her heart beat powerfully within her; with Steve here, she would be one step closer to finding Bucky. One step closer to bringing him home. “They say he’s gonna be here in a few hours,” Mary beamed, obviously giddy to see the Star-Spangled Man up close and in the flesh.

Lottie returned her smile, though it was weak. The weariness was starting to catch up to her, making her feel much older than a youthful twenty-three. Her stomach was in knots with anxiety; she needed to get to Steve as soon as possible.

Betty stood with them as they watched the hustle and bustle of preparations, “I’m pretty sure we’re the only ones looking forward to seeing Captain America. All these boys care about is seeing a bunch of girls dancing for them on stage, not some hunk of meat in a red, white, and blue suit.”

Nancy, who had just joined the conversation, scoffed, “It’s quite disappointing how little you think of these men and their patriotism.”

Gladys rolled her eyes, “They’re still men, Nancy. Scantily clad women or a guy singing about war bonds? They’re gonna prefer the women.”

Several hours later, Gladys was indeed proven right. Although he’d been driven off-stage with jeers and taunts, Lottie was waiting for him with a warm embrace.

“Hey, Lottie,” She could hear the smile in his voice, she felt its warm timbre as it surrounded her and reminded her of home.

“Good to see ya, Stevie.”

Steve pulled away from her and gazed around the camp, a grimace growing on his features, “Things don’t look to good around here.”

Lottie nodded, a twin grimace gracing her lips, “The hundred and seventh started out with two hundred men. Now they’ve only got fifty left. They’re barely holding on.”

Steve’s gaze shot to hers the moment she mentioned the one hundred and seventh, “Lottie that’s— this is Bucky’s—” The desperate look in his eyes made her own calm exterior begin to crack.

“Stevie, I know,” she whispered, a lump forming in her throat and tears pricking at her eyes, “I know, and I’m sorry. He’s not here. They— Those bastards took him, damn them!” For the first time since arriving at camp, Lottie cried. She sobbed and clung to Steve once more, feeling every bit like a scared little girl from days gone by.

Steve rested his hand against her back, “I’ll get him out, Lottie. He’s gotta be alive and I’ll get him out.”

She shook her head and wiped the hot tears from her cheeks, “No, Steve. You’re not going alone. I’m coming with you.”

“Lottie, you know I can’t put you in harm’s way like that—”

“Steve. I’m serious. What do you think I was doing that whole time I was with the SSR? Yes, we were making the serum, but they nearly trained us to death. I can shoot, I can use my knife. I can’t let you go without me.” Her voice was starting to crack, “We have to find Bucky together.”

There was silence between the two of them until Steve finally conceded, a wary gaze in his eyes, “Fine. But you need to be by my side the whole time.” Lottie nodded her chest warming with hope. “C’mon, we need to have a conversation with Colonel Philipps.”

The two of them jogged to his tent with their coats held above their heads to shield them from a sudden shower of rain. They entered the colonel’s tent, looking comical with their wet hair and heaving chests. Around them, soldiers and officials paced to and fro, examining maps or signing off various forms. If Lottie squinted, she could just barely make out the words. Letters of condolences; heartbreakingly clinical letters of regret for the losses of these sons, these brothers, these boys.

“Colonel Phillips,” Steve began, “Are you planning a rescue mission? For the surviving prisoners from the Battle of Azzano?”

The colonel looked back at him with a straight face, “Yeah, it’s called winning the war.”

Steve’s blond eyebrows furrowed, “But if you know where they are why not at least—”

“They’re thirty miles behind the lines. Through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save, but I don’t expect you to understand that because you’re a chorus girl,” before Lottie could protest, he shot her a glance as well, “and you’re just a nurse.”

Steve’s gaze on Colonel Phillips was cool, “I think I understand just fine.”

The colonel pushed past them, “Well then understand it somewhere else. Now if I read the posters correctly, you’ve got someplace to be in thirty minutes.”

“Yes sir, I do.”

Steve grabbed Lottie’s hand and pulled her behind him, “C’mon, we’ve gotta get going. You go get changed.”

Lottie nodded; her medical uniform would impede this mission so she’d need to wear the fatigues that the government had finally issued to them. Her heart raced a mile a minute as she scrambled back to the nurse’s tent to change. She knew that Colonel Philipps would be terribly angry once he found out she’d shirked her night duties, but her loyalties to Bucky took precedence. The recovering soldiers were left in the capable hands of her peers. She swore as she nearly toppled over while yanking her boots on; it was rather hard to get dressed in such a hurry. By the time she was ready and had exited the tent, she was met with the somber faces of Agent Carter and Steve.

“Agent Carter, what are you doing?” For a moment, she feared that they’d already been caught, that the SSR was already putting an end to their mission.

The other woman pursed her lips, “I’m here to help.”

A mere half-hour later and they found themselves in the SSR’s plane, headed to Krausberg, where the POW camp was located. Howard Stark called out to them from the cockpit, “We should be able to drop you right at their doorstep.”

Fear was starting to creep into Lottie’s mind and burrowed itself deep within her gut. She heard the conversation continue all around her, but she was still processing the daunting mission before her. She and Steve up against Hydra. All alone. Even Bucky had struggled against them; he’d lost to them in the Battle of Azzano. Bucky. That’s what worried her most. It’s what filled her with the most fear. If she and Steve got through the Hydra camp safe and sound only to find that he was dead, Lottie wasn’t sure how she’d deal with it. She’d probably go mad, in all honesty. She’d end up in some institution, crying over lucky pennies and charcoal drawings while being molly-coddled by some woman in white. How tragic that would be.

Before her thoughts could become any darker, Lottie was jolted back to reality by the sound of bullets against metal. Steve grabbed his shield and her arm, urging her to join him by the plane’s exit.

Agent Carter shot up from her seat, “Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in!”

He turned to respond, “As soon as I’m clear, you turn this thing around and get the hell out of here!” “You can’t give me orders!”

A smile grew on his face, “The hell I can’t! I’m a captain!”

Steve shifted his goggles and nudged Lottie, “It’s go time. When you see me pull the chute out, you do the same.”

Lottie nodded with a quiet determination, and together, they jumped.

Entering the base was painstakingly quiet; once they’d snuck into a truck and eliminated the guards inside, Steve and Lottie were left to mouth words and offer silent support through unwavering gazes. Once they’d safely passed the gate of the base, they exited the truck and swiftly dealt with any opposition.

Steve led her across the base with caution, giving hand signals when it was safe to turn a corner and sprint across a patch of unobstructed space. The two of them traveled with the shadows, avoiding any spotlights that could catch them in the act. Lottie scarcely felt that she could breathe, it was as if one exhale would reveal their presence to the multitude of guards.

Once they entered the main building, the two of them found themselves in what seemed to be a factory. There were giant sheets of metal everywhere and huge bombs seemed to surround them. Amongst them all, Hydra soldiers transported other metal parts and containers of glowing blue material. That did not bode well with Lottie at all.

Lottie spotted some guards walking to a lower level, jangling keys in hand. “Steve, they might be guarding the prisoners.” Her whisper was barely audible, fear keeping her from speaking any louder.

“The blueprints said they were below the manufacturing level. C’mon.”

They followed the guards onto a walkway that had large circular grates that cut into the metal, each forming the ceiling of small cells that the poor prisoners had been separated into. Lottie and Steve knocked the guards out and stole their keys. The two dropped to the same level as the cells and began unlocking their doors.

One of the soldiers gazed at them through the bars of his cell, “Who are you supposed to be?”

Steve panted from stress, “I’m Captain America.” He gave Lottie an expectant look.

“I guess I’m Little Saint Lottie,” she responded somewhat sarcastically, referencing the retrospectively comical nickname that was developed by the one hundred and seventh.

Some of the men cracked grins, “So you’ve heard our prayers, huh?”

“Loud and clear. Now let’s get you out of here, yeah?”

She tried to ignore the growing horror inside of her upon the realization that none of these men had brilliant blue eyes. Not a dimpled chin in sight.

“Is there anybody else? I’m looking for a Sergeant James Barnes.” It seemed that the same horror was growing within Steve.

A man in a scarlet beret responded, his British accent prim and proper, “There’s an isolation ward in the factory, but no one’s ever come back from it.”

“Alright,” Steve nodded, “The tree line is northwest, 80 yards past the gate. Get out fast and give ‘em hell. We’ll meet you guys out in the clearing with anyone else we find.”

“Wait, you know what you’re doing?” “Yeah. I’ve knocked out Adolf Hitler over two hundred times.”

Lottie couldn’t help but stare at Steve in amazement. Gone was that awkward boy from Brooklyn. He was a man now, a leader who could do anything he put his mind to. He’d grown so much, not just physically, but in his character.

While the prisoners worked their way out of the base, Steve and Lottie began their search for the isolation wards. Lottie tried to ignore the sounds of explosions and men crying out from below them while they traveled across metal catwalks. She could only hope that the cries of pain were coming from Hydra soldiers.

After turning several corners, they found themselves in an old hallway, surrounded by brick on both sides. They hurried down the corridor out of desperation; they knew they were running out of time. Lottie stopped suddenly when she heard a groan. It was close. She drew her weapon and dragged Steve into the room, her heart stuttering and her palms slick with sweat.

“Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven…” That voice. Oh, how she knew that voice; she loved it so. Lottie heard it whenever she found the time to fall asleep. It crept into her sweetest dreams but tore her apart whenever it wiggled its way into her nightmares.

Bucky lay in front of them, strapped down to a table; his lips moved ever so slightly as he repeated the same phrase over and over again.

She rushed to his side alongside Steve and nearly let out a cry of happiness. Had the situation not been so dire, she would’ve descended upon him with a bone-crushing embrace and great big sobs of joy by that point.

Lottie whispered a quiet, “Bucky?” His eyes were glazed over and his mouth agape, “Is that— is that—”

“It’s us, Buck,” Steve nodded reassuringly as he tore at the straps across Bucky’s chest. Bucky looked up at him, taking his face in,

“Us?”

“Me and Lottie,” he nodded, tugging her closer so that the two of them could be in Bucky’s field of vision.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him, finally feeling whole again. She’d gotten her Brooklyn boys back. Bucky only looked back in confusion, “Little Lottie, she— she’s always been here. Always. Stayed with me the whole time.”

It was Lottie and Steve’s turn for confusion. Lottie brushed the hair back from his forehead to calm him down and ground him, “Bucky, I’ve been with the SSR this whole time. We’re here to rescue you.”

Steve nodded and dragged him off the table, “I thought you were dead.”

Bucky was obviously having a hard time processing everything that was happening, “I thought you were smaller.”

Lottie listened as the gunfire intensified, “Come on, we need to move.” Steve threw one of Bucky’s arms over his shoulder and the two fell into step behind her.

“What happened to you?” Bucky grunted out, pain etched into his voice.

“I joined the army.”

“Did it hurt?”

Steve was growing agitated, “A little.”

“Is it permanent?”

“So far.” Lottie huffed, “I’d sure hope so after all that effort I put into it.”

Bucky mustered out a befuddled, “Huh?”

“I helped to create the serum that made him like that.”

“So that’s why you left without saying a word.” Bucky’s tone was only slightly accusatory.

Lottie muttered a weak “Yeah.” They’d need to have a lengthier conversation once he wasn’t struggling to walk five yards.

As they crossed the catwalks to get towards the exit, the factory below them began to combust. Huge flames erupted from the metal contraptions and triggered explosions all around them. They hastily climbed the metal stairs to get to higher ground.

“Captain America, how exciting!” A thick German accent cut through the noise of explosions and gunfire. “I am a great fan of your films!” Before them stood two men; one was a short little fellow clad in a jacket and fedora. The other was tall and wore a distinguished Hydra uniform with its menacing crest emblazoned on his shoulder.

The taller of the two gave Captain America a once over as he strode across the catwalk that separated them, “So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive.”

“You’ve got no idea,” Steve snarled and punched the man in the face. The swift blow caused a blotch of redness to appear near his eye and a sinking feeling of realization settled into Lottie’s stomach. This was Schmidt, the monster who used the serum prototype.

Before she could say anything, Schmidt struck back and left a dent in Steve’s shield, “Haven’t I?”

There was a brief scuffle before Schmidt backed off while the other man pulled a lever, pulling the catwalk apart. With a grin, Schmidt began pulling at the skin of his face and revealed fiery red muscle and tissue beneath, just as Lottie had seen when she first began experimenting with the formula. “You are deluded, Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality, you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind. Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!”

“Then how come you’re running?”

Steve never got an answer. Schmidt and the other man had already boarded an elevator and left them standing on the catwalk, nearly helpless.

Another explosion went off, cueing the trio to leave, “C’mon, let’s go. Up.” Lottie instructed the men to follow her, though she wasn’t too sure how to escape the factory. All she knew was that they needed to keep ascending the stairs.

When they reached the top of the stairs, they were faced with a metal beam that led to a catwalk with an exit. It was terrifyingly slim, with only enough room to place one foot in front of the other.

“Ladies first,” Bucky murmured, “but I’ll be right behind you.” Lottie felt sure of herself knowing that at least she wouldn’t have to cross on her own.

She took a tentative first step, testing how well it would hold her weight. Lottie tried not to look down at the fiery pit below while she carefully moved along the beam. It was a comfort to have Bucky behind her with his chest nearly pressed against her back as he followed her every step. Lottie had just scrambled over the railing of the catwalk when a jarring explosion shifted the beam’s position and sent it careening downwards. She gasped in horror as Bucky leaped to grab onto the catwalk.

“There’s gotta be a rope or something!”

Steve stared at the two of them from across the pit, “Just go! Get out of here!”

Bucky slammed his fist on the railing, desperation tearing at his voice, “No, not without you!”

“Steve, please! We can’t just leave you here!” Lottie pleaded. Steve couldn’t die, not like this.

With a look of determination, Steve backed up and made a running jump to clear the gap between the two catwalks. An explosion threatened to swallow him up, but he made it over safely, although a little worse for wear.

Lottie and Bucky could only stare in amazement. Steve nodded to them both, “Let’s get outta here.”

Several ladders and a whole lot of dodging later, the trio found themselves trudging towards the tree line.

It was silent amongst the three of them; painfully, dreadfully silent. She decided it was time to break the silence, “Bucky, I—”

“Look, Little Lottie, I know you’re sorry, alright? And I forgive you. Even though you lied to my face and left without saying goodbye, I had a whole lotta time to spend forgiving you.”

Now that the fear of being caught by Hydra soldiers had fully subsided, Lottie allowed herself to let out a sob of joy and nearly threw herself at Bucky. She almost apologized for the force of her embrace since it was likely to hurt a man who’d been captured by Hydra, but he didn’t show any sign of pain. She’d need to remember that for later.

“I missed you so much, Bucky. I really did,” Lottie nearly whimpered. Gosh, she sure sounded lovesick. “I missed you too, Little Lottie.” His embrace was sure and strong, and with it, a flood of memories came back to her. Nights on her fire escape. A birthday evening spent swing dancing. A lucky penny slipped into her hand. For the first time in months, Lottie finally felt whole. Her heart that had been splintered into shards of pain and hopelessness had finally begun to mend itself back together. While she found comfort in his arms and forgiveness, she knew there were still so many words left unsaid; words that he needed and deserved to hear.

“Yeah, I missed you guys too,” Steve muttered, obviously peeved that he was being left out of their moment.

“Aw, come on, Stevie,” Lottie grinned and pulled away from Bucky a little to allow Steve to join their hug.

“And if I remember correctly, Bucky, I think it’s actually Little Saint Lottie now,” she grinned. While she couldn’t see his face at the moment, she just knew it was turning a gorgeous shade of scarlet, based on the sputtering coming out of his mouth.

[bqstqnbruin]

Three times he said it as a friend and once as something more

Hello, hello. I’m still working on the Nick Robertson request but wow I don’t want you to hate me for it because it is actual trash right now and I’m sorry. But I’m also working on B&W part 3, so there’s that!

This was requested from that fluffs prompt list, which I think I’m done with now because honestly, it’s so far deep at this point, and I’m so lazy.

I hope you like it!

46. Why should we date?

47. Because we’re attracted to each other

48. I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.

__________________________

one

“Next time I see you, I really do expect you to be a professional athlete,” you tell Charlie, the two of you laying on a blanket in his backyard, enjoying the last few hours of sunlight on his last night in town. The next morning, he would be leaving to go to BU to play hockey. It wasn’t even that far, but him not living at home, and you going to school in Vermont meant him no longer driving you to school each morning, you no longer going over with dinner your mom made when she knew he and his parents were running around because of his games, no more walking next door whenever you needed to talk to instead of calling him. The memories would last forever, but those moments were now just part of the past.

“Are you not gonna come see me play at BU at all? What about when we play UVM?” he says, turning his head to look you.

Turning to him, you roll your eyes, “Ok, fine. Then I expect you to be a professional athlete in the next three years.” 

“Whatever,” he says, laughing. 

You sit there in silence, taking in what is probably one of the last moments for a while that you two will be able to spend a lot of time together. 

“Remember how we became friends?” he asks, sitting up. 

You follow suit, laughing at the memory that he just triggered. You were neighbors since your family moved to Weymouth, but you weren’t automatically friends because of it. “Well, duh. We sat across from each other in Family Consumer Science. We, of course, always finished the work early because we’re great, and we played pencil hockey for like thirty minutes before Mrs. Grace yelled at us for distracting the other two at our table.”

“The fact that you ever finished your work fast in that class is still amazing. You get distracted by everything and can’t focus on anything.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug it off. You sit there thinking of all the other good memories you had with him; sitting across from each other in US history and joking about all the mistakes you made while texting, the nights when you would walk around Boston Common once your parents trusted you out on your own, the last minute Bruins tickets he would get and force you to go along with him to the games.

“Did you ever think about what our lives would have been like if we dated?”

“What?” you ask, shocked. There was no way the two of you would ever date. He was destined to be a professional hockey player, traveling the US and Canada with whatever NHL team wanted him. You could never date someone that wasn’t going to be there when you needed them. And you couldn’t ask him to give up your dream for you. Yes, you were overthinking this, but best case scenario is that you had dated throughout high school and ended things tonight.

“Most people thought we were dating, anyway. What if we actually had?”

“Then we probably would have broken up tonight because long distance relationships from high school never work. Look at Andrea and Eric from last year, she went to Holy Cross and he only went to UConn and they could never make it work so they broke up. Or Josh and Maggie two years ago; he went to Ohio and ended up transferring to UMass so he could be with her and he loved Ohio State.”

“Too bad we never even gave it a chance.”

You look at him, shocked. “Did you want to?”

His only response was shrugging, a smile on his face as he lays back down on the blanket. You stay sitting up, thinking about what he just said. Did he want to date you all this time and never said anything until now? And why the hell would he do something like that anyway? You weren’t going to see him until at least Thanksgiving, which means that now you have to hyper fixate on this one memory until you see him again. 

“Hey,” he says, snapping you out of it.

“Yeah?”

  “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” 

two

Your phone lights up, causing you to tear your eyes away from the essay you had been writing that’s due in a few hours. Due to your great talent for procrastinating, you were, of course, finishing the paper at the last minute. The picture of you two in the Coyle’s front yard on your first day of school in six grade shows up on your screen, meaning Charlie was calling you. It had been forever since the two of you last talked; with you being in school and him trying to make it as a hockey player in Minnesota, your schedules never gave you a free moment to talk for more than a passing moment. 

“Hey, stranger,” you say, not hiding the smile on your face even though you were out in public. You hated showing any sort of emotion that would provoke someone to come up to you and start talking to you, but seeing Charlie’s name come up on your phone with something other than a text automatically made you smile. 

“Stranger? You know who I am.” You could tell by his voice that he was jokingly acting offended. 

“Yeah, you’re Zach Parise, right?” you tease.

You hear the laugh you miss so much on the other end, “How have you been?”

“Uh, stressed, lately, so nothing new.”

“Why?”

“Homework, papers, and exams.”

“Oh, my.” You both start laughing at the accidental joke he made, “Why so much stuff?”

“It’s midterms, babe.” 

“So I assume that you’re working right now?”

“Yep, it’s eight pm, the paper is due at midnight and I still have four more pages to write.”

` “I’m so glad that your work ethic hasn’t changed since high school.”

“Ok, rude! I have good work ethic, I just also have strong procrastination skills.”

“You probably have ADHD,” he says.

“Well, yes, but that’s a different story.”

“What’s your weekend look like? I want to catch up when you don’t have a lot of work to do.”

“Uh, I should be good.”

“Alright, get back to the paper.”

“I will. Love ya.”

“Love you, too.” 

three

“Oh, come on! We practically live together. You can’t deny that something is going on between us!” Charlie argues, pacing around the kitchen as you make dinner. This conversation between the two of you was becoming a weekly one, slowly getting on your nerves to the point where you would consider moving just to get away from it. 

“Because what happens if we break up? We’ve been friends since we were in middle school. Do you really want to throw all that away?” you say, turning to him, putting your hand on your hip. 

“I just think we should go out as more than friends just once.”

“And how would that be different than all the other times that we go out together?”

“Because then I could do things like hold your hand and flirt with you?”

“I’m like ninety percent sure you already flirt with me.” 

“Y/N.”

“Why should we date, Charlie?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other?”

“And I’m attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie,” you roll your eyes, turning your attention back to the stove. 

“You’re seriously equating me to pie right now? I have never seen you eat pie, therefore, that argument is invalid.”

“Since when do you say things like therefore, and invalid?” 

“Seriously, Y/N. You know I have wanted to date you since we were in middle school, but something always came up. You know I love you. You know I always have.”

You turn back to him, trying to make eye contact, but something in you just can’t. Your timing was never right. Once you were old enough to date, the two of you were never single at the same time. Actually, that isn’t true. You were both single for a brief period of time while he was playing with the Sea Dogs and you were still at UVM. This was the first time that both of you were single and in the same town. 

“Charlie, you know that I love you, too. But this can not happen. We can’t risk breaking up and ruining what we have.” 

He exhales, obviously disappointed. You were, too, but you couldn’t let that show. You wanted nothing more than to be with him, but you couldn’t let all those years of friendship go away if things didn’t work out between the two of you. “Fine.”

once

“Remember when you wouldn’t date me?” he asks over the sound of everyone around you.

“Remember when you were less annoying?” you roll your eyes. You look around to see so many other couples and families filling in the tables around you. Everyone looked so happy, just like you were. 

You and Charlie had been together now for a year, him finally wearing you down and convincing you to let him take you on a date. He promised you that even if you stopped dating, your friendship would never end because, at this point, you were in too deep anyway. He told you he had this whole evening planned for your anniversary, complete with a walk around the Boston Common like you used to do when you were kids, dinner at Terramia, your favorite restaurant, and for dessert, he was taking you to Mike’s Pastries for the cannoli you loved so much. 

“No, never,” he smirks, reaching out across the table to take your hand.

You had to admit, all the things he had said trying to convince you to date him were right; nothing was really that different between the two of you besides the intimacy that wasn’t there before. “You’re never letting me live that down, are you?”

“No.” 

You roll your eyes at him. You didn’t want to inflate the ego of the man who didn’t even know how to use the oven by telling him he was right that you two dating was fine. 

“Hey,” he says, like that last night before he went off to college.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

You smile, thinking back to all those times you told each other those three words, them meaning something completely platonic. “I love you, too.” 

[mrsrhys23]

Avengers prompt list

I’m bored so I made this...

Steve Rogers (Captain America) 

Language! 

“I’m not looking for forgiveness, and I’m way past asking for permission.”

“So your body’s changing. Believe me, I know how that feels.”

“That is America’s ass.”

“Is this a test?”

“I can do this all day.”

“I am (name) 

“I don’t want to kill anyone. I don’t like bullies; I don’t care where they’re from.”

“On your left.”

“Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?”

“‘Cause I’m with you ’til the end of the line.”

Bucky Barnes (The winter soldier)

“I Thought You Were Smaller."

"I'm With You 'Til The End Of The Line, Pal."

"You're My Mission."

"That Little Guy From (place) Who Was Too Dumb To Run Away From A Fight, I'm Following Him."

Natasha Romanoff (black widow)

"I only ACT like I know everything."

"I'm multitasking."

"Let me put you on hold."

"The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly."

"I'm sorry. Did I step on your moment?"

"I blew all my covers. I gotta go figure out a new one."

"Nothing lasts forever."

"He's also a huge dork. Chicks dig that!"

"Bye bye, bikinis"

Thor Odison 

“THIS DRINK, I LIKE IT! ANOTHER!”

“You people are so petty. And tiny.” 

“I choose to run toward my problems and not away from them..” I 

“Do I look to be in a gaming mood? 

“HE’S A FRIEND FROM WORK!”

“I notice you’ve copied my beard.” 

Peter quill (Star-lord)

I Look Around And You Know What I See? Losers!

Don’t Call Us Plucky. We Don’t Know What It Means

Sometimes The Thing You're Searching For Your Whole Life Is Right There By Your Side All Along

What Should We Do Next? Something Good, Something Bad? Bit Of Both?

I Don't Learn. It's One Of My Issues

It's Showtime A-Holes!

Okay, I'm Gonna Get A Bowflex. I'm Gonna Commit. I'm Gonna Get Some Dumbbells

Let's Talk About This Plan Of Yours. I Think It's Good, Except It Sucks

Drax the destroyer 

I've mastered the ability of standing so incredibly still, that I become invisible to the eye. Watch.

You just need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you.

He is not a dude. You're a dude. This is a man. A handsome, muscular man.

Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...

She just told everyone your deepest, darkest secret!

No one talks to my friends like that.

Vision 

Yes. But a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. It's a privilege to be among them.

Well... I was born yesterday.

 I suppose we are both disappointments.

 It's terribly well balanced.

I wish to understand it. The more I do, the less it controls me. One day, who knows? I may even control it.

It's as I said. Catastrophe.

That's true. He hates you the most.

 It's alright. I love you.

Tony stark (Iron man) 

 "Sometimes you gotta run before you walk."

 “Is it better to be feared or respected? I say, is it too much to ask for both?"

"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."

 "Give me a scotch. I'm starving."

 “…Just like that.”

 "Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?"

 "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."

. "Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five..."

 "Have you ever tried shawarma? There’s a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don’t know what it is but i wanna try it.”

. "No. You're in a relationship with me. Everything will never be okay."

 "Don't do anything I would do, and definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do..."

Morgan Stark 

I love you, 3000.”

Pepper pots 

I don't think you could tie your shoes without me.

I do anything and everything (name) requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?

You're all I have too, you know.

Oh, no, I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in a room full of people I work with in a dress with no back.

Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.

I am trying to do the job that you were meant to do.

Oh my god... that was really violent...

Don't ever, ever, ever, ask me to do anything like that, ever again!

Stephen Strange (Doctor Strange) 

Pain's an old friend.

We're in the endgame now.

(name),  there was no other way.

Unlike everyone else in your life, I don't work for you.

Study and practice. Years of it.

It's what made me a great doctor.

Nick Fury 

I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.

I still believe in heroes.

You got gifts, (name) , but we have a job to do. Are you going to step up or not?

Clint Barton (Hawkeye) 

"You And I Remember Budapest Very Differently."

I've Done The Whole Mind Control Thing. Not A Fan.

"We've Come A Long Way Since Budapest."

Loki 

“If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now."

“There are no men like me.”

"I am the monster parents tell their children about at night."

Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet witch) 

Everybody’s afraid of something.

I've caused enough problems.

“You took everything from me.” “ I don't even know who you are.” “You will.”

Sometimes it's hard, but sooner or later every man shows himself.

You guys know I can move things with my mind, right?

Bruce Banner (Hulk) 

That's my secret, (name) : I'm always angry.

You know, sometimes exactly what I want to hear isn't exactly what I want to hear.

What? I see this as an absolute win.

Sorry kids. You don't get to see my party trick after all.

I’ve got a compelling reason not to lose my cool.

Broke up? Like a band? Like the Beatles?

I don't think we should be focusing on (name). That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.

Thanos 

The hardest choices require the strongest wills.

Perfectly balanced, as all things should be

I do. You're not the only one cursed with knowledge.

You should have gone for the head.

You should choose your words more carefully.

The end is near.

I am Inevitable!

Rocket Raccoon 

No, seriously, I need it! (snickering) It's important to me...

You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.

Who hasn't been to space? You better not throw up on my ship.

See, this is exactly why none of you have any friends!

Can you believe they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut?

You're! Making! Me! Beat! Up! Grass!

Quit smiling, ya idiot, you're supposed to be professional.

Peter Parker (Spider-man) 

This is nice.

Yes sir. I'm sorry. I understand. I just wanted to be like you

What? No, no, no, I don't wanna kill anybody!

It's not a onesie.

Hey guys, you ever see that really old movie, Empire Strikes Back?

Look, when you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.

That's uh, that's all on YouTube though, right? I mean that's where you found it. 'Cause you know that's all fake. It's all done on a computer.

This is my chance to prove myself.

[fardell24b]

Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie - Chapter 2 - Part 4

Anna and Chip entered the Science Block.

 “Anna, don’t tell me you are doing what I think you are doing!” Chip said, in a slightly agitated tone.

 “Chip, the genie may be hiding up there,” Anna protested.

 “That wouldn’t matter if whomever has whatever is standing in for a lamp is not also there,” Chip countered.

 “I am still going up there,” Anna said, as if daring Chip to deny her the exploratory opportunity. “Besides, I heard that it was Sandi Griffin,” she continued.

 ‘The president of the Fashion Clique?’ Chip thought. “You don’t know what is up there,” she said, responding to Anna’s previous comment, as they came to one of the flights of stairs to the second floor.

 “I know. Think of it as an opportunity to explore,” Anna said, as she started going up the stairs.

 ‘It is a good thing that she is a member of the Orienteering Club.’ Chip thought as she followed her upwards.

  Two minutes later, the two seniors opened a door marked Roof into a corridor much like all other corridors in the school. There were only minor differences. The floors, walls and ceilings looked the same. The Linoleum, the lockers and the lights were of the same colour. The doors were also the same colour. However something felt off (at least to Chip, if not to Anna).

 “So far, it looks like anywhere else in the school,” Anna said, her voice showing a slight disappointment.

 “But anything could be waiting in the classrooms,” Chip countered, with a slight edge of fear in her voice.

 “Spoilsport!” Anna said, picking up on Chip’s fear. She led the way to a nearby door. It was unlocked. Anna slowly opened it. The science lab inside looked similar to the labs on the floors below, except that it had cruder looking instruments, inkwells in most of the desks and metal chairs.

 “It looks more like something out of a Frankenstein movie than a high school science lab,” Chip said.

 “It’s not that bad,” Anna said as she stepped into the slightly Frankenstein-ish science classroom.

 “Maybe not,” Chip conceded. They looked around that room before moving on to the next room.

  “So you are saying that the rumours yesterday were true, that there is a genie, that Sandi Griffin is involved and that you want my help in setting up a distraction so that Ms. Li doesn’t find out?” Jodie Landon asked, incredulously.

 “Yes,” Daria said.

 “What she said,” Jane said.

 “It doesn’t make any sense,” Jodie objected.

 “Believe me, the last day has been rather strange, but the events happened!” Quinn said. ‘Of course, most of the people did not see what happened for themselves, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t hear about it,” Quinn said.

 “I remember everything,” Stacy said.

 “My imagina-ation is not tha-at active,” Tiffany said. She knew that her imagination was not that active ‘If I did have a more active imagination, I would have been able to help more with the discussion at Quinn’s,’ she thought.

 Jodie sighed. “If it were anyone else telling me this, Daria, I wouldn’t have believed it, even with that extra floor. I mean that could be a scheme of Li’s accomplished via smoke and mirrors, right?”

 “Not really,” Jeffy said.

 “Anyway, I’m in,” Jodie said, ignoring Jeffy.

 “If Jodie is in, I’m in,” her boyfriend, Michael ‘Mack’ Mackenzie, said.

 “That’s great!” Quinn said in celebration.

 “The question is; how are eight people going to distract the principal when a genie is potentially causing chaos?” Jodie asked. ‘Eight people can only do so much in the face of such chaos,’ she thought.

 “We are going to need more people,” Quinn said. ‘But who else would want to help us?” she thought.

 “Like Andrea, and some Sophomore Brains,” Daria said.

 “That would be a good start, but what about Upchuck?” Jodie asked.

 She was about to say something more when she was interrupted by a synchronised “Eeeeww!” from the Fashionable Trio.

 “He is good with magic tricks, He could possibly use smoke and mirrors to hide the genie’s antics,” Jodie said. ‘Once one looks past his ultrasuave act he is actually a good person,’ she thought.

 “I thought he gave up that hobby when he started acting all ultra-suave,” Jane said.

 “Believe me, he hasn’t,” Mack said.

 “If we find Upchuck, we will talk to him. As it is, we are running out of time. We need to start an interim plan now,” Daria said. ‘We are running out of time. There are less than ten minutes until homeroom,’ she thought.

 Quinn glanced at her watch, “Yikes! You’re right!” she said. They began discussing an interim plan.

  At the same time as Chip and Anna entering the Science Block and Daria et al talking to Jodie and Mack, Brooke was looking for Sandi between the Library and the Arts/Music block. She then heard Andrea saying “Be careful Sandi!” Brooke looked and saw that Torii was already moving in on Sandi.

  “Be careful Sandi,” Andrea said.

 “I know I have to be careful!” Sandi said.

 “There you are Sandi!” Torii said. “This time your time trick won’t work!” she continued. ‘Bring it on!’ she thought, readying herself for what might come next.

 “And why is that?” Sandi asked, glaring at Torii. Torii charged, grabbing the emerald. She and Sandi then struggled. Sandi grabbed Torii’s hair. Torii then also grabbed Sandi’s hair. Sandi used her other hand to try to wrestle Torii’s hand off the emerald. This went on for a minute before Torii decided to wish Sandi somewhere else. By this time a large crowd had gathered, including Jean, Andrea (both hoping that Sandi would beat Torii back), Brooke, Ted, Joey and Jamie.

 “I wish that Sandi would be elsewhere!” Torii said. ‘Now, I have the emerald!’ Torii thought, gloating.

 “No!” Sandi said before she vanished, leaving Torii holding the emerald.

 “Where did she go, Torii Jericho?” Andrea asked.

 “Why don’t you ask the genie, Hecuba!” Torii said. She purposely wasn’t on a first name basis with unpopular teens to spite them.

 “She is still in the school!” Jean said, to Andrea. At Joey’s glare she said “She’s not in the pool though.”

 “Good,” Joey said.

 Torii looked at the extra floor on the science block. ‘No, I’ll leave that there. There may be no telling what useful nick-knacks may be in there,’ she thought. She came up with a wish. “I wish for bright streamers in the school colours hanging off the side of the library,” she said. ‘That will brighten this school up!’ she thought.

 Jean grumbled but granted the wish anyway. Bright blue and yellow streamers appeared, with the usual sound, hanging off the library building.

  Elias was outside the cafeteria when Sandi appeared next to him. “Elias, I, like, need your help!” she said, with reluctance.

 “Someone else has the emerald?” he asked.

 “Torii Jericho!” she said. Elias’ eyes widened.

 “Let’s go,” he said. ‘She would be worse than Sandi!’ he thought. He ran off towards the quad, Sandi followed close behind him.

  Torii was still deciding what to wish next when she saw Elias and Sandi enter the quad and run towards the crowd. She grabbed the emerald. “Oh no you don’t!” Andrea said, growling. She leapt towards Torii. Torii put herself into a defensive stance, but that was no defence against 145 pounds of Goth Chick moving towards her at 10 miles per hour.

 Andrea crashed into Torii, preventing her from making a wish, and knocking her over. “You are going to give the emerald back to Sandi!” she said, as she grabbed the emerald herself.

 “Why don’t you want it for yourself?” Torii asked, through gritted teeth.

 “It is too big a responsibility, for any one person, especially a person like me,” Andrea said. She saw that Sandi was now approaching the two. “I wish that Sandi would have the emerald back.”

 The emerald disappeared from around Torii’s neck and appeared around Sandi’s neck. Andrea got off Torii and looked at Sandi in the eyes. “I hope you realize what a burden having a genie at your command is,” she said.

 Sandi was at a loss for words as the bell rang. She did not know what to say in response to Andrea’s statement.

 She then wished herself to homeroom.

  Anna and Chip heard the bell ring as they exited the third laboratory (which definitely had Frankenstein qualities). “We can come back at recess,” Anna said.

 “Possibly,” Chip said as they went back towards the stairs down to the normal part of the science block.

  Daria, Quinn and the others heard the bell ring. “At least we have a basic plan,” Quinn said. ‘ I hope it works!’ she thought.

 “That we do have, Quinn. That we do,” Jane said.

 “Hopefully we won’t need to put it to the test,” Jodie said.

 “Murphy’s law may come into play,” Daria said.

 “I hope not,” Jodie said. They then dispersed to their different homerooms, after agreeing to meet at Recess.

  20 minutes later, Ms Li was handed the incident report about the ‘fight’ between Andrea and Torii.

 “That sort of behaviour is definitely not the sort of behaviour that Lawndale High students should be behaving in!” she exclaimed (pronouncing the school’s name in her usual manner), after she read it.

  “Ms. Haley-Andrea Hecuba and Ms. Victoria Jericho, report to the Principal’s office immediately!”

 Torii knew that she was in trouble if the principal used her full name. She certainly didn’t see any teachers during her confrontation with Sandi or with Andrea, but someone must have been there. She exited the economics class with trepidation (after grabbing a hall pass from Mrs. Bennett). ‘Hecuba will take the fall, no matter what she says,’ she thought.

 Quinn and Jeffy looked at each other as Torii exited the room. Did this have something to do with the events related to the genie? Or was it separate? Neither were sure, so they decided to stay put.

  “Ms. Haley-Andrea Hecubaand Ms. Victoria Jericho, report to the Principal’s office immediately!”

 ‘What is it now? I thought no staff was present when I was grabbing the emerald off that ‘Popular Girl’ Torii,” Andrea thought. She also didn’t like the fact that the principal used her first name. ‘Haley is no name for a Goth like me,’ she thought as she walked up to Mr DeMartino’s desk.

 Mr DeMartino handed her a hall pass. “Whatever it is Ms Hecuba, come back ASAP!” he said.

 “Whatever!” she said as she left the room.

 Daria, Jane, Jodie and Mack looked at each other as Andrea left the classroom. They were wondering whether Ms. Li’s call to the office had anything to do with recent events. None of them were sure, so they didn’t follow Andrea.

  “Ms. Haley-Andrea Hecubaand Ms. Victoria Jericho, report to the Principal’s office immediately!”

 Stacy looked up from her work as she heard Ms. Li’s announcement. ‘Does this have something to do with the genie?’ she thought. She looked at Tiffany, whom was looking at her textbook with a perplexed expression. It appeared that Tiffany hadn’t paid the announcement any notice. She also noticed that Sandi (whom was sitting on the other side of Tiffany) had tensed up when the announcement was made. She also glanced at Jean. The genie however appeared to be engrossed in the work.

But Sandi’s reaction made Stacy think. ‘I have to check it out!’ she thought. She got up and walked to the front. “Mr. Crown, I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. The teacher absentmindedly handed her hall pass without looking at her, and continued reviewing his lesson plan. She quickly exited the classroom.

 ‘What is Stacy up to?’ Sandi thought as she saw her exit the classroom. She went back to the work.

  Stacy slowly edged along the corridor, and ducked into an adjacent corridor when she saw Torii turn a corner into the corridor. ‘Ok, there’s the Popularity Meter Girl, but where’s the Goth Chick,’ she thought. She followed Torii quietly.

  Andrea reached the principal’s office first.

 “Take a seat, Ms. Hecuba,” Ms. Li said.

 Andrea crossed her arms and stared at the Principal in defiance.

 “You will take a seat. Your actions this morning quite possibly have tarnished the good name of Lawndale High,” Ms Li, putting more reverence into the pronunciation of the school’s name than usual.

 “Why do you have to do that?” Andrea asked, referring to Ms. Li’s pronunciation.

 “It shows school spirit! Now sit down, before Ms. Jericho arrives,” Ms Li said.

 Andrea reluctantly took a seat. “Now, Ms. Hecuba, why did you attack Ms. Jericho?”

 Andrea remained silent.

 “I need an answer, Ms. Hecuba,” Ms. Li said, whilst staring Andrea in the eyes. Andrea stared back for a few seconds before responding.

 “The Fifth,” she said. Telling the Principal the truth would be a very bad idea. ‘I have no idea of what would happen if she gets a hold of that emerald!’ she thought.

 “You are not getting away that easily, Ms. Hecuba,” the Principal said. She placed a thick folder on the desk. “This is your permanent record. Do you want me to go through it?”

 Andrea just sat back and glared at the Principal, as if saying ‘bring it on.’

 “Fine, I will read your misdemeanours to you in front of Ms. Jericho.”

 Andrea raised an eyebrow. ‘She has to be bluffing. There is no legal way she can do that!’ she thought.

 “And I’ll read hers to her in front of you,” Ms. Li continued.

 ‘Still would be a bluff. But if it is not a bluff, it is the price to pay for her not knowing about the genie,’ Andrea thought.

 Torii then entered the office. “What is this about, Ms. Li?” she asked.

 “You and Ms. Hecuba were involved in an altercation shortly before Homeroom. Why were you fighting?” The principal asked.

  Stacy tip-toed up to the office door and then began to peek through the keyhole.

[wish4youff]

09 ~ Runaway Ghost

King

Three to none; it’s always been the same game with us. Surprisingly, neither of one of us became bored with the same old ritual. As if something was to change; it’ll break us. Funny how change happened nonetheless breaking us by using the odds put up against us to prove my point exactly. We’ll would have never worked out. We will never work out.  Standing here I know this isn’t what I expected. I came here for her, even if it is a complete waste, I did. Her words; the change of mood and attitude have all caught me off guard now. It’s all changed from the young girl I once knew and if I’m being a hundred percent honest, I loved. She’s caught me off guard with her new nonchalant, yet so emotional act. Chrissie has always had a mouth on her. Never walking away without wanting to let you know she can have and will have the last word. “I know you good enough, King. It ain’t nothing you can explain to me. All you can do for me; is forgot about me.”  I preached to Chrissie to ‘never say it unless you meant it,’ and right now it seems like BabyGirl has forgotten those words because we both know if we ever bypass this emotional ride; she’ll want to understand me more now man and less as a teenager.  “Never say it unless you mean it, BabyGirl.” My words come out low, almost inaudible, but I see the revelation cross her face the second I say it. Chrissie remembers those words. For more, it’s buried deep, but I don’t even think she knows why I truly say it.  

“Forgetting you is pretty difficult especially when all I can think about at times is you. See? Regardless of what you may believe Chrissie, I didn’t walk away because I hated you, but I walk away because me staying would only damage you more. You were young, taking care of yourself and your sister at the age of eighteen. Off what? Tips and a seven-dollar salary? Yes, your parents left you with an insurance fund and you both knew the responsibility behind that money, but I knew me sticking around would mean you needing to take care of a third person. I wouldn’t be that burden,” “That wasn’t for you to decide.” She interrupts me and says, stubbornly might I add, but I ignore it. Because it’s too late. And I have no regrets of walking away.  “And regardless of all that, BabyGirl, you knew so much about me that it terrified me. We never even stepped outside of the boundaries for our friendship and I fell in love with you. As an eighteen-year-old, that was a new feeling for me. I’ve never cared so much. So, I ran, Chrissie. I ran from you and told you to run from me because I didn’t know what I was doing. Love has never been in my plans. I was about to start my career, one you know everything about because I have shared it all, one that doesn’t involve loving someone. Despite it all though, it was never my intention to make you miserable,” Her mouths opens to stop me, but I step closer, silencing her again.  “You deserve the world, the moon, and everything in between because I know that you’re amazingly innocent and every man dreams of that even if he says differently. You deserve happiness and a family. Love and peace, stability. And more importantly you deserve closure from such a fucked-up man. I know what my actions have done to your heart. Apart of me wondered if you had forgotten about me, but I knew deep down, if I was you……. I wouldn’t be able to. Maybe you’ll forget how I spoke, walked, or even my favorite color. But the person and what I went through? After everything I shared with you; it’ll would be impossible to forget. It’ll be impossible to move on after all that. Why I left? You have it now. I’m sorry and you know I don’t apologize, but it’s what you need.” Seconds, maybe even minutes go by as we stand there, her eyes burning into mines. She’s one of the few people who look me in the eyes and doesn’t look away. Most can’t handle the intensity. While she gets off on it. I can’t handle it, my eyes drift down her body, call it the nigga in me needing to check out what’s happen in my departure, but I have no control of it after a while. I’ve did my fair share of staring throughout the night, but……now it’s different.  “That’s sweet. Amazing of you to finally say all those nice things,” It’s an argument. I can feel it. Can hear her before she even starts, and damn, if it’s not a breath of fresh air. “What I don’t want is your pity. You can lie and say all those amazing words about it being about me, but you are pushing me away for your own selfish need. And you finally admitted that. It was done for your own reasoning. You didn’t tell me to run, you told me to leave you alone. Not because it was what’s best for me, but because it was what’s best for you. If you wanted me to move on eventually, you should have told me that. Instead of making me feel like something was wrong with me. Like I’m fucking ugly betty or some shit,” I open my mouth to stop her, but she steps closer to me. So brave as she stops me in my tracks of words. “I would love to believe you, but my heart doesn’t trust it. I don’t trust you past I can see you, I knew who you were becoming and I couldn’t make myself stop caring for you. Hoping you hadn’t died from this dirty game you decided to live by. That says something about me. Something you still haven’t acknowledged. Now that I’m looking back, I don’t even know why I cared about you so much. You only came here for closure, huh? We could’ve done that over that phone, King.” “You know I don’t like phone conversations.” I said for that second time tonight.  “Right, because of the headquarters listening.“  Chrissie didn’t even ask, we had these conversations late at night in her dorm room. She remembers and she knows. I couldn’t lie if I needed to.  "Chrissie……” “Nah, it’s cool. You have your closure and I’m leaving now. Goodnight, King."  "Why?” “Why not? Why should I continue to put myself out there for you to walk over me again Kingston? I know more about you than your own fucking father. I know how much you hate sleeping, yet you love your privacy because you’re able to listen to your favorite music, turn off your problems, and relax. You hate unnecessary noise like televisions, but you love music. You don’t trust anyone to fix your food or cook for you. You love the darkness, you can walk and navigate through it like a fucking ghost. I know about your mother. Your father’s dislike for you comes from a place of not wanting to accept your mother’s death because you look so much like her. At least that what you believe. I know about your ex-best friend how it strained you and Mike’s friendship, but you keep him around because he’s the only person from your childhood that’s still in your corner. And as you can say; ‘you owe it to Mike to keep him around because you want him to know you’ll never kill him for what he knows’. I know that and so much more. And as I stand here now, I know much hasn’t changed."  "We both need closure.” I say, not ignoring her words, but not addressing them either.  “So, I can move on now? So, you find love finally?” Her voice shaking as she ended that question.  “I don’t know.” I said honestly. That was out of my control.

She toys with her nails, walking back towards the entrance of the private dinner. One I totally forgot about in the past five or so minutes. I almost thought the conversation was over until she turned to me and spoke again. "You said you love me? But if you love someone how can you hurt them?“  "I never intended to hurt you, Chrissie. Only protect you from the possible heartache that I know I would cause on you had we did something we both would’ve regretted."  Then she was gone. 

"I have something for you, Kingston.” Surprisingly New York can spring work on me just as fast as D.C. My plan to pack up and leave the city after the dinner last night; in hopes of peace and happiness in my own personal space was out the window before I could dwell on the idea. Stephen text last night around three in the morning, ignoring everything I had previously sent to him about speak with Dr. Singh. Instead he was informing me on my meeting with at the New York headquarters with their public affairs counsel Nick Powers. What was planned to be discussed on; I wasn’t informed.  This wouldn’t be the first time. My first hit under the FBI’s watch wasn’t arranged from Stephen. He does it, knowing I will never disappoint him. We may never see eye-to-eye with one other, but he knows I’m his son and what I do will have a representation on him. His favorite words still until this day is: “You may be in the same profession as them, but don’t get it twisted. You are working twice as hard, if not more, to keep up with these white boys.” So, me being here with no information lets me know one thing. He knows everything.  “Nick.” Sitting in the chair at a glass table, made to fit over twenty different men, I favored one closer to the left, yet aligned right in the middle. The door wasn’t no more than four steps away from me. These walls were sound proof. If something happens to me right now; I’ll be the only protection to myself.  He’s no boss of mines, owes me no loyalty. If I’m to turn down this favor; he could flip.  “You’re good at what you do, Vitale. The best that government has had in a long time. No offense, but even your father had his issues and slip ups as an assassin, but you; you’re numb. That’s the first step to the job. Not to get attached to anyone or anything. You’re exactly what we need for this. New York is full of monsters, and what’s better match for a monster than a man that moves like he’s an armed ghost,” He dropped a stapled file on the table in front of me. The words CONFIDENTIAL stamped across it. “Travis Ryan is a prison escaped murder, he’s supposed to be doing a life sentence. Guards finally allowed him out in the sun one week. Turned their head for a spilt second and he was gone. We know where he is; how he moves,” “So where do I come into play?” I interjected.  “I need you to catch him. He’s armed, dangerous, and numb. The perfect match for you. You’ll know his motives. The way he thinks and acts. It’ll be like looking in the mirror."  "I’m stationed in New York for this?"  "At least until the job is done. Afterwards, you’re free to go back home. Wherever that is."  Picking up the case, I stood. The man across from me following my movements.  "I hope you don’t think I’m going to get attached to him and fool him into dying. That’s not how I play the game.” “No, I know your rules, Vitale. Like I said never get soft, never get too close. And if you don’t do anything else never get too attached.”

[lamiaward]

fuck the gods (not in that way!!*) and also give me my son back, you ********

*apart from , maybe, the very awkward blonde one.

I don’t own OUAT

Warnings : death. That’s it.

Some battles cannot be won.

Life is unfair. The gods are selfish, drunk bastards who laugh whenever another mortal loses what matters most to them. There are illnesses and wars and so much injustice. And Regina still didn’t see it coming. Because that is what the gods and the world may have been to her, but it should’ve been different for Henry.

Henry, who once didn’t eat an entire day because he shared his lunch with two of his classmates whose dad didn’t have enough money. Her little prince, who only fought only once and it was because a girl in his class made his friend Nick cry. Henry, sweet and kind and smart and funny and so, so good that Regina is surprised every day that there is someone so good in the first place.

Illnesses weren’t supposed to get to a boy like that. Doctors were supposed to smile and say ‘it’s nothing’ when he got sudden nosebleeds. There wasn’t supposed to be a coffin small enough to fit his body perfectly into it. It was supposed to be all a horrible, absurd dream.

But it has been a month, and Regina is still not waking up. Her son’s toys are where he left them, the last time he had enough energy to play with them. She hasn’t made his bed yet, after the day they rushed him to the hospital. His latest drawing is still stuck to the fridge, with his ‘I’s carefully dotted like she taught him.  There are a dozen other ones, papers she should perhaps throw out or bu- but instead they’re next to her bed and in it and on the table she is sitting lifelessly at.

She didn’t think it could be any more silent, or that silence could cut her even deeper. But now she is at the table, and she would honestly sell all her limbs and sight and all that money that is so useless for just one more dinner where her son wolfs down his dinner like he is in Hell and it’s the thing keeping him there (like her company is that unbearable). She would sell her voice for another glare, her kidneys for another refused hug, her – she would sell everything she has for all those moments she thought she despised more than anything and felt so empty.

Gods, how stupid she was. Empty isn’t Henry’s absence at breakfast or his barricaded door ( he used to beg her for another story, another, por favor mami). Empty is turning around, already asking him to hand the dishtowel and realizing he isn’t just quietly watching her like usual. Empty is waking up, and being confused by why she didn’t hear his alarm clock went off. Empty is no more books scattered through the house, not almost tripping over his shoes left somewhere, no careful admonishments.

She lives in a numbness interrupted by horrible, atrocious, overwhelming bouts of awareness brought on by anything of Henry’s until the moment. She later doesn’t recall whether it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday, what the weather was, who she was with – just that she yelled and cursed so much that she really lived up to the insidious nickname and she left.

She plans everything, always, but there was no planning involved this time. She just goes home, bakes, bakes more, throws it all in one of her bags and leaves for Vegas. She doesn’t pay any of the bright lights, the laughter, the throwing up and the whistling- she ignores it all as she storms to the entrance.

She throws the coin at Charon, pushes past ‘Spotty’ as their heads growl and bark and howl. She marches down to the throne- her hand clenches her sword so tightly she can feel the blood circulation start to get cut off but instead of throwing her sword at them, she does the unthinkable.

Regina Mills, evil queen, swordfighter extraordinaire, strongest charmspeaker in three centuries- stubborn, hard-headed, proud and with enough reasons to hate the gods for three lifetimes,

Kneels down on the ground and bends her head.

Emma had spoken in favour of Regina, once.

She didn’t know the woman, but she knew the stories. And the stories were clear about one thing ; Regina Mills did not pay the gods her respect. She had not done so when threatened with an afterlife of horrors, with a sword at her throat and nearly the entire council lifting their hands to vote against her.

(once, she had faked her respect and even love of the gods so perfectly that even Emma’s own mother had been so taken by the mortal girl with the sweet smile and beautiful yet devastating eyes)

That day the council had decided on Regina’s fate Emma had absurdly felt like she did know Regina and all it had taken was one look shared, one she never discussed with anyone. She had expected to never see the woman again, never hear from her, never have any cause to regret her decision.

And here she was, kneeling with her head bent even.

Emma was so surprised she rose immediately, and then cursed herself. What – why would I want to go to that woman, and comfort her? That’s crazy! But true. Regina felt off. She felt – Emma’s own eyes were burning and her throat closed and she actually suspected Regina’s involvement ( that poisonous- ) for a moment before she remembered when that happened.

She snuck a glance at her husband- and frowned. Neal was glancing at the woman with puzzlement and distaste. The gods were all running low on empathy, but Neal was usually one of the more empathic ones (although that most certainly did not keep him from making selfish choices). And here there was a woman that felt broken by grief and he didn’t do anything?

“ Nea-“

“ What brings you here, witch?” he commanded, sounding strict and cold in ways he usually didn’t.

She touched his arm briefly. “ Wait” she commanded in turn, not even bothering to look. She knew he would be shocked and unhappy. She held her eyes on Regina, and told herself it was just because only an idiot wouldn’t pay attention to their greatest enemy.

Then Regina slowly raised her head and she couldn’t have lied to herself if it would’ve cost her her immortality not to. What- Emma’s specialty had never been people, although she was good at telling when they lied and what they wanted. Still, despite Regina’s stoic appearance, Emma wasn’t fooled.

She only realized she had crossed the distance when Neal called out to her.

“ What are you doing ?” he repeated

“She is hurt”

“ She is a known enemy of- “

She ignored him, and offered Regina her hand. (according to rumours, Regina’s touch was tainted, more than Midas’s) . She expected the woman to refuse her but somehow wasn’t that surprised when a warm, soft hand accepted her own. She was surprised by how close the woman was to her, however.

And how vulnerable she looked.

“ EMMA”

She only glanced at him. “ Nea- “

“ That’s it. She is breaking the oath, and- “

“ My son- “ Neal and Emma looked away from each other at the sound of that. Regina visibly struggled before inhaling and exhaling slowly and finally adding “ he was lost”

Before Emma could speak, before Neal could start protesting, Regina added “ He is so good- you cannot allow him to suffer for my sins”

They both were shocked into silence. ( Regina had never admitted she had made mistakes. Regina didn’t love) Finally, Emma stepped forward. She felt Neal slowly step behind her. “ You know the – “

Some people were surprised that beautiful people could be ugly. Emma wasn’t, not really. She had been alive too long and been through much shit to be surprised when gorgeous people got ugly very fast. Still, she was disappointed when Regina’s entire face shifted and she –

“This is a mistake”

“ I am sorry-  Emma, I-  “

Emma relaxed her stance slightly when Regina nearly fell over she was trying to get her so fast, and reached out for Emma, only to drop her hand and swallow. “ I apologize” she whispered.

“All right” she acknowledged, nodding. Fuck, but there was something about Regina that made Emma feel -she didn’t have a good word for it, she wasn’t the goddess of words and stupid feelings that made her want to do stupid things like comforting people that would probably poison her.

Neal butted in before they could do more than stare at each other. “ no, not all right”

“ Neal- “

“Emma, she – “

“She is a mother”

“ Oh for – please don’t start talking about your mother”

“ Listen, she is kind of overbearing and way too involved and she still treats me like I am basically a kid, but I also love her. Anyone should have a mom, and the fact that I had to miss her at first, only because- “

“This woman, right in front of you, the one you want me to break the rules for, conspired against your family and pretty much ruined your life and had you do all these crazy things like some sort of gladiator”

“I am just saying we should give her a chance to speak. That’s all”

“Her family is notorious for being manipulators”

“Yeah well, still. It’s obvious she loves her kid”

“ I do” Regina interrupted, clearing her throat. “ And every moment you waste discussing this, Henry spends another moment in a place he does not deserve to be”

“ Regina- “

“ Please don’t let him suffer for my mistakes” it was obvious that Regina was struggling with being vulnerable and not letting her distaste show, but she was still genuine enough that even Neal hesitated. They shared glances for a moment and for a moment, she was sure he would agree with her. Whatever Regina’s sin are, that boy didn’t deserve to be stuck here.

But instead, he ruined everything and asked “ What about Elysium? Don’t you want your son to go there?”

“ You know very well- “ Regina cut herself off. Maybe she had realized how very hostile she sounded as she sounded more matter of fact ( though still like she would like to rip one of the bones that are used as decoration for Neal’s throne, and spear it through his heart) when she said “ The council ruled that no one belonging to my family will ever receive entrance to Elysium”

“ But the boy is not your blood”

Wrong thing to say. “ He is my family. He is my son”

Neal gave that special smile off him, the one that shows he is really uncomfortable. “ But you didn’t give birth to him. So that might be a loophole”

Regina looked about ready to proof the rumours were a lot more than just people trying to ruin her reputation, so Emma quickly stepped in. “ We will look for the boy okay?”

Regina nodded, once. It was really more of a jerk, or a flinch, but Emma decided to take it. She even crazily reached out to squeeze Regina’s bicep as she started walking. The woman went too fast, almost running, so Emma touched her briefly again. She startled when Regina flinched at the sudden motion, but the woman’s glare definitely said ‘back off’ so Emma didn’t push it.

In fact, they didn’t talk at all during the walk. Emma tried to keep Regina from walking too fast but it’s a lost case and she finally had to give up. As soon as the woman was speedwalking ahead of them, oddly unbothered by all the wispy, transparent people clutching at her sleeves and muttering in dozens of different languages and dialects , Neal caught up with Emma

“Emma”

She kept her eyes on Regina, although she shot Neal a quick smile. “Yes?”

“ She broke the laws”

“ Neal- “

“ No, listen. She seems- I mean, she is obviously still terrible but she really seems to care. But I can’t allow her to leave unpunished. We very specifically banned her”

“Since when do you care about rules and the other gods? Most of them are jerks”

“ Yeah, but they’re also more powerful if they work together”

Emma snorted. “ When do they ever work together? “

Neal smiled.  “True” Then he sobered “ But you know we can’t just let her break all the rules. It’s already bad enough we let her off in the first- “

“Neal. What we did was not ‘let her off’, okay? We could’ve been harsher yeah, but we weren’t exactly merciful”

Neal was silent for a while, just long enough for Emma to be caught off guard when he suddenly said “ You never told me why you helped her”

“ You never asked”

“ Figured you didn’t want to talk”

It was Emma’s turn to be silent for a while. “ Saw something in her”

“What? She’s -  “ he trailed off, and Emma decided that was the right moment to say something. Not everything, of course, as she couldn’t really put it into words anyways, but something. “ She isn’t just bad. Even if every horrible thing is true – “Emma shrugged. “ I felt like it was important that we gave her that chance”

“ Emma- “

“I know , okay? It’s – “ Emma laughed. “ It’s crazy, even by my standards, but-  “she shrugged. “ I dunno. I just feel like –“  

Regina’s shriek interrupted their conversation. Emma nearly hurt her neck when she snapped her head to watch Regina, running and stumbling and finally throwing her arms around a small, transparent, barely visible boy. It was difficult to spot any colours, but it seemed like he had had brown hair. Brown eyes.

“ His eyes are kinda like hers” Emma says, watching Regina fall to her knees and try to touch the boy’s chin, again and again. She can see the woman’s lips move rapidly, but she’s too far away to hear. Maybe she should be glad. It looks painful.

It was. That much became clear when they got closer and heard Regina say  “Henry, it’s me. Mijo, por favor” while trying to touch his chin, stopping, trying, hesitating, and muttering his name again. Emma froze, caught by the woman. A glance at Neal showed him equally entranced, as surprised as her by how Regina wasn’t attempting to keep anything intact anymore.

She obviously didn’t care about what they thought of what she looked like, completely lost in the attempt to make her son actually look at her.

Instead, he stared past her. The Underworld didn’t leave much left of people, diminishing their memories and feelings and even consciousness. Regina knew that, maybe better than anyone but the rulers of the place themselves. Still, she kept trying to talk to Henry, getting more desperate, shaking more, touching his chin and trying to turn his head her way.

She couldn’t even touch him- the dead were not physical here. There was nothing but a vague sight- kind of like seeing a person’s reflection. Emma was just about to step in, keep the woman from a full-scale meltdown when the impossible happened.

Henry swallowed and choked out “ M- Mami?”

Regina started nodding rapidly, then stepped even closed and muttered something. Emma couldn’t hear, but it made another impossibility happen- Henry smiled. It was still barely there, and more confused than happy but there was certainly some sort of recognition. She could’ve stared for a while longer, something about the little family reuniting as beautiful as painful but Neal stepped forward before she could do anything.

“ It is time to say goodbye”

Regina stepped in front of her son protectively. It was ridiculous, because she was just a mortal, one with special parentage surely but still mortal but Emma actually felt mildly threatened. She even reached for her sword automatically, not that she wanted to.

“ Neal, maybe- “

“ No. That’s going too far, Em” he’s really serious if he calls me that. For some reason, Emma kind of wanted to punch him. She actually had to take a few deep breaths and then take a step back.

“Come on, she just- “

“ She can’t keep getting away with her crimes”

Emma looked at Henry. He looked actually afraid now, eyes wide and lips trembling slightly. It was painful to look at, actually. More painful to look at, was how he tried to move in front of his mother after only a really short hesitation.

“ Kid, don’t do that” she admonished him.

“ She- “  he shook his head. She got it. The dead quickly lost their voices, not able to speak at all or just not remembering enough to have anything to say.

“ Listen, Henry was it?” Neal said, taking a step towards the terrified little boy. He nodded, only hesitating for a second. Regina tensed, her hand dropping to her stomach while her other one grabbed her sword tightly.

“ We’re going to get you to a good place, but your mom can’t come okay?”

“ why not?” his voice was really hoarse, but at least he could still talk. It took him several tries, but at least he still could remember the words ( the dead usually held on to the feelings connected to their loved ones the longest, the rest was gone quickly)

He blinked rapidly, his entire face scrunching up. “ Is it because she – is it because she was bad?”

Regina didn’t bother to hide the devastation and Emma could only stare at her. It was Neal who answered “ Yes. She needs to pay for that”

It took him a lot longer this time, but finally Henry managed to push out “ Will it hurt?”

“ No, this place you are going to – “

“ No-, not- I – “ he stammered, then glanced at Regina and moved in front of her again. She just stepped around him, trying to keep her body in front of him.

“ Listen Henry, your- “

And then the kid started bawling. Not just crying, not sobbing but bawling. He tried to cling to his mother, only to start shaking when he couldn’t. He looked terrified and pained and angry and his mother couldn’t do anything. It was obvious to Emma that Regina knew what to do, just that she couldn’t.

Because calming her son meant hugging him, or another brief, calming touch and her son was dead.

“ I am – I am – “ it wasn’t just the bawling, he was fading again. As goddess of the Underworld, Emma knew that shit.

“ S- s – so – sorry” he finally managed, trying to hug his mother again. Emma wanted to break every single rule, just to stop it.

“ It’s – it’s – “ Emma was pretty sure that was called hyperventilating. Could the dead even do that, shit? “ My – my f- fa- fault”

“ No. No, mijo”  Regina managed a trembling smile. “ You were so good. You were right, and so good”

She swallowed, and looked at Neal. “ Will he be all right?”

“ Yes”

“ Ha- “ Regina had to take several deep breaths before she could speak, her hand holding on to her stomach so tightly that it must hurt. She was trying to ignore Henry, who was kind of screaming now. “ Happy?”

“ Yes”

Regina bend over, so she could look Henry in the eyes. “ Mi principito- “

Henry wasn’t speaking anymore, just shaking his head and gesturing. His eyes were wide, face completely free of tears even if he was obviously still crying and he kept trying to hold on to Regina.

“ You will be happy” Regina tried to kiss his forehead, then swallowed when it wouldn’t work. “ Sé valiente, principito”

Henry tried to keep close to her, grabbing for her sleeves and her bag and even her hair but Regina still moved away. She was hyperventilating herself now, tears streaming down her face and her body shaking so badly that you could hear the clatter of her teeth. She was also very obviously trying to look indifferent, but she almost screamed when Neal touched Henry’s shoulder –

And disappeared.

---  SIX MORTAL MONTHS LATER

Goddesses cannot die-

But they can get ill.

It only took a week before the illness really got Emma. She no longer slept. She was more short-tempered than usual, snapping nearly every time someone tried to talk to her. She kept to herself, to the point where her voice would get hoarse from disuse. She no longer laughed at Neal’s jokes, or even just smiled at him.

Gods are very selfish-

But they can be selfless.

It took six months before Neal caved, and realized this would not stop. Emma no longer shared a room with him. She no longer smiled or punched him gently or did anything of the things that made him love her. She wasn’t herself anymore, and there was only one thing he could do.

Emma woke up wrapped in a bright red jacket, a letter in Neal’s handwriting – go get her Em-  in her hand and a boy sleeping in the chair. His hair was a brown, his eyes hazel and his skin not translucent at all.  It took her two seconds to appear in the throne room, hug Neal and joke her way through a tearful goodbye and appear in front of a house with a boy protectively held in her arms.

Regina Mills opened the door.

Emma smiled, shyly, and shrugged.

“Hey”

Just a quick one-shot because I don’t have work until late tomorrow, and I have horrible difficulties writing lately. ( also I am still obsessed with Greek mythology, so this is based on like four separate myths oops) Also used some PJO stuff, like charmspeaking & the entrance to the UW being in Las Vegas.  Hope you enjoyed!