#and I felt that way when the person I was dating didn’t put real effort in on my birthdays

[mydreamsarentrare]

*

[jaeyunverse]

the fake dating pact

pairing(s): park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre(s): fluff, suggestive, fake dating, enemies to lovers, rich kid au, cruise au

wc: 1.6k

warning(s): profanity, making out, implications to sex (no smut)

inspired by: dil dhadakne do

summary: in which ridiculous circumstances lead to a fake dating contract pact being struck between park sunghoon and you.

note: i’m ngl i thought i’d reposted this fic but i’m not able to find it so here we go LOL the sunghoon brainrot’s been hitting real hard lately

masterlist

There was a slight chance Sunghoon and you had crossed the boundaries you’d set when you first drew up your fake dating contract.

Okay, agreement would be a more accurate word choice since the document wasn’t legally binding, but the two of you took its contents very seriously. Together, you’d come up with a few mutually acceptable ground rules:

no kissing unless absolutely necessary

non-sexual acts of intimacy are acceptable in order to maintain the facade

keep arguments to a minimum no matter how insufferable the other person is being

no bed-sharing under any circumstances

no falling for park sunghoon even though he is the epitome of sexiness

The last condition was total bullshit, but you didn’t have it in you to make him get rid of it. Your mom had already done an excellent job at pissing you off; the last thing you wanted to do was get into it with Sunghoon.

One may wonder what caused the two of you to make this pact. Simply put, both your families desperately wanted to set you up with people you had no interest in dating.

(Not that you wanted to seek a romantic relationship with Sunghoon either, but we’ll get into that later.)

Lee Saerom had organised a cruise across the Mediterranean Sea on the occasion of her parents’ 30th wedding anniversary. Normally, your family wouldn’t have come within 10 feet of the Park family, but you were both good friends of the Lees and neither of you wanted to give the other the satisfaction of avoiding the trip.

Now that all the powerful and influential families of Seoul were gathered in the same place for a celebration spanning over a few weeks, your parents thought it would be a good idea to find you an ideal suitor who would help their company expand.

Word spread that you were seeing Lee Heeseung, the younger son of the Lees and heir apparent to their empire. The rumour was entirely false, but you had to admit it was a genius move on your parents’ part. Not only did it become harder for Heeseung and you to deny the allegations, but it made the Lees consider a future with your family’s business.

As if you weren’t in a shitload of mess already, the entire thing had somehow turned into a competition with the Parks beginning their own efforts to set Sunghoon up with Ning Yizhou.

The minor problem was that Heeseung and Yizhou were in love with each other, and neither of them had the courage to tell everyone the truth. They were both too afraid of disappointing their parents and bringing disgrace to their families.

You supposed it was a good thing Sunghoon and you had no such qualms. So, before things could escalate any further, the four of you got together and decided to put an end to this idiocy.

On the third night of the cruise, Sunghoon and you announced your relationship. Holding his hand and giving him lovey-dovey eyes felt ridiculous, but you would rather stomach fake dating him than see a wedge form between Heeseung and Yizhou.

Needless to say, everyone was shocked.

Yizhou even pretended to faint while Heeseung started sobbing hysterically. You couldn’t believe he actually pulled out a tear stick and applied it to the underside of his eyes when no one was looking. You wondered if he’d purchased it for this specific reason when you’d explored Turkey earlier that day.

Overall, it was a pretty convincing act.

The Lees and Nings were furious, but you weren’t particularly worried. In fact, you didn’t even care. Your parents had it coming their way the moment they dragged you into their scheming and plotting.

It took a few days for everyone to calm down and for the festivities to resume, but things pretty much went back to normal. Sunghoon and you both got tongue-lashings from your families, but they didn’t make you two break up.

Your reputations were already in the gutter; forcing you to end your relationship after all that had conspired would have been the cherry on top of your disaster of a cake.

The pre-decided course of action was to fake date Sunghoon till the cruise ended. Once you returned to your daily lives and enough time had passed, you would cook up a reason to break up.

It didn’t take long for your original plan to go to shit. As it turned out, spending a week pretending to love the bane of your existence had proved to be quite the opportunity to really get to know him.

Ever since you were a kid, you’d heard your parents say a lot of terrible things about the Parks. You’d been instructed to stay far away from Sunghoon. An impressionable and susceptible child such as yourself had obeyed every order they gave you.

You’d literally been hard-wired to despise and assume the worst of Sunghoon.

The wall of hatred you’d built between the two of you began coming down brick by brick once you learnt the kind of man he was. He was honourable and good and down-to-earth.

Of course, he was a dickhead to you for the same reason you were a bitch to him, but the asshole side of him was more endearing than annoying now.

His snarky replies no longer seemed to bite, and there was always an underlying film of adoration accompanying them.

Perhaps, he’d grown to care for you just as you had for him.

You certainly hoped that was the case, since regularly making out with someone who couldn’t be bothered with you wasn’t exactly your dream.

To this day, you had no idea how you’d ended up grabbing the collar of his shirt and crashing your mouth against his.

Maybe it was because he kept reminding you that you’d lost a bet to him and you wanted to shut him up, or maybe it was because he hadn’t bothered to button up his shirt and his abs were on full display, the ocean wind ruffling his messy hair.

Nonetheless, something seemed to snap in him when you made the move. He responded to your kiss immediately and pinned you against a wall. Thankfully, it was almost midnight and there was no one to witness your less than decent makeout session on the deck.

The next ten minutes consisted of his hands travelling under your loose shirt, fingers grazing the cold skin of your abdomen. Soon, your shirt was discarded, and your legs were wrapped around his waist.

Sunghoon hadn’t bothered stopping even when you ran out of breath. Instead, he’d taken the opportunity to leave bruises on your jaw and neck. The warm feeling of his tongue soothing the spots where he’d nipped at your skin with his teeth had caused you to experience a burning need for desire that went further than the second base.

The amount of reaction he’d gotten out of you was embarrassing. Never had you been unraveled by anyone so effortlessly. He had to muffle the whimpers that slipped past your lips as a result of his ministrations.

If it weren’t for the fact that you were making out in the open and were at the risk of being walked in on, things would have escalated. By the time you parted, Sunghoon’s lips were swollen, his face was flushed and he was breathing hard.

His eyes were hooded and dark, and he was gazing at you with an intensity that made you shiver.

Taking that as your cue to leave, you pressed a chaste kiss on his cheek, fetched your shirt from the ground and hurried away.

You didn’t even know why you thought things would go back to normal the next day.

One look at him, and your legs turned to jelly. You happily obliged when he wrapped his fingers around your wrist and whisked you away from everyone else.

Soon enough, you’d breached almost all the conditions in your fake dating pact.

You spent most of your nights together—be it hooking up, lying in the comfort of each other’s arms or just talking till slumber claimed you. Never in your life had you imagined being at ease around Sunghoon.

Everything else faded away when you were with him. He made you feel yourself. He made you feel whole.

“Hey,” you murmured while you were both swimming in the pool one night, the stars shining brightly in the sky. His eyes were closed and his neck was tilted up, the back of his head resting on the decking behind. “Can I ask you something?”

Sunghoon hummed and opened his eyes, turning his attention to you. “Yeah.”

“I know we have a plan,” you continued, doing your best to ignore the droplets clinging to his skin, “and I know that we’re supposed to stop pretending after this cruise ends tomorrow, but have you ever thought about making this—” you pointed at him, and then at yourself— “real.”

He laughed softly and shook his head in amusement. Your brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m not joking—”

“Every single day,” he interrupted you. Wading his way through the water to close the distance between your bodies, he repeated, “I have thought about making you mine every goddamn day.”

He cupped your cheeks and rested his forehead against yours. “I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Y/N,” he whispered.

Taking a shuddering breath, you closed your eyes and felt him press his lips to yours.

The kiss was slow and passionate, as if the two of you had all the time in the world. It expressed what couldn’t be said using words, and you realised just how much you’d grown to admire and care for this man.

It physically pained you to consider the possibility of a life without him.

“Sunghoon,” you mumbled against his mouth. “I would say I love you too but I don’t wanna breach the contract.”

He chuckled and ran his tongue along your bottom lip, even going as far as to suck on it. “I thought you broke the last rule days ago.”

You couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across your face. You opened your lids and shifted to get a better look at his expression.

Sunghoon’s eyes were shining with happiness, and you thought you could gaze into them forever. You thought you could witness the grin on his face and hear his honeyed laugh without ever getting tired. You thought you could stand ground against anything life threw at you if you had him by your side.

You knew you could love him and be loved by him for as long as your soul wandered through the worlds.

“I love you too.”

[chvoswxtch]

personal

pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

summary: lately frank has been acting suspicious, and you've decided to finally confront him about it.

warnings: swearing, lots of angst

word count: 3.4k

a/n: i hope y'all have been enjoying things being nice & light & sexy & fun bc these last few chapters aren't holding back any punches. shit is about to get real. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

[previous chapter] | [next chapter] | [series masterlist]

Not even five minutes after Frank walked through the threshold of his apartment, the rumble of an incessant banging sounded on his front door. His dark brows instantly furrowed with irritation at the sound. Slipping his right hand behind his back to grab the handle of the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans, he turned the knob and swung the door open with just as much ferocity as the person knocking on the other side. 

The creases of annoyance on his sharp features suddenly smoothed into recognition at the sight of you standing in front of him, but not long after, his warm brown eyes widened in complete bewilderment seeing the raw fury that was burning in your eyes. 

“Hey-”

Before he could utter another word, you forced your way inside his apartment, causing him to quickly retreat backwards, wincing when you swiftly slammed the front door shut behind yourself.

“You need to tell me what the fuck is going on with you, right now.”

Frank was utterly caught off guard by your aggressive behavior. The last time he had seen you this angry with him was when he showed up at your place after Cavella and Walker had attacked you. He was so distracted by your incensed entrance, he almost missed what you said. But when his brain finally caught up with his ears, your words only fueled his convoluted confusion.

“There nothin’ goin’ on-”

“Bullshit! Don’t you dare fucking lie to me, Frank.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not lyin’-”

“You’ve lied to me three times in the past month.”

Creases of puzzlement settled between Frank’s thick brows hearing that. Had he really lied to you three times? He couldn’t even remember what he’d lied about, or how you caught onto the fact that he was. Frank admittedly had been a bit out of it when it came to you lately, but he wasn’t doing it on purpose to hurt you. He just happened to be caught in the middle of something he was trying to keep you as far away from as possible.

Taking his silence as evidence of guilt, you stared up into his eyes, wanting him to see the proof of grief in your reflection that his actions had caused. You wanted him to hear the severity in the words that lacerated your tongue as they slipped past your lips that had been bitten raw from your tortured anxiety.

“You never once lied to me before Frank, ever. I don’t know why you’re choosing to start now, but if I hear one more lie come out of your mouth, I am done. I will walk out that door and I will have nothing to do with you ever again, that's it. Do you hear me?”

That caught Frank’s attention. There was no waver in your voice, no threat in your tone, just raw emotion and sincerity. 

For the past month, Frank had been acting strange. You’d caught him in three white lies, and while they may have seemed small and trivial to someone else, they were anything but that to you. Because you’d been stuck with a pathological liar before, and there was no such thing as harmless lies. A lie was a lie, and it was a crack in the foundation of trust and integrity that you’d built with Frank, and a crack could turn into a rift, and a rift could divide you and make it all come crumbling down.

Since yours and Frank’s schedules didn’t always line up, you’d both done everything you could to make every moment count since your first date. But lately, it felt like you were the only one putting in the effort. Frank was chronically distracted these last few weeks. He was late to meet you for dates, he didn’t call when he said he was going to, and sometimes you didn’t hear from him at all until the day was practically over. And when he was with you, Frank was physically present, but mentally he seemed to be somewhere you couldn’t follow. Even sitting right beside one another, it felt like there were oceans of distance separating you subconsciously. 

At first, you’d tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was one little white lie. One missed call after a long day. Just fifteen minutes of waiting at the restaurant. This was Frank, the man who had saved your life more times than you could count. He was different. This was real. You had nothing to be concerned about.

But then one white lie turned to three, and one missed call turned into not hearing from him until an excuse appeared across your screen at half past midnight, and fifteen minutes late turned into not showing up at all. His behavior planted a seed of suspicion in your mind that grew like wild ivy, coveting the sense of security you had in him with leaves of doubt, sprouting spirals of diabolical hypotheticals that canvassed your brain with catastrophe. 

Every knot of faith Frank had woven into your heart with his actions over the last nine months were steadily being unraveled by his own hand in a matter of weeks. The confidence you had in him was now frayed in shreds and left you in a fit of mania, scrutinizing his every intent under a microscope. 

You had been here before. You’d been lied to, manipulated, cheated on, pushed to the brink of insanity, and eventually left behind. You recognized all the signs of duplicity and betrayal, but you’d covered your own eyes so you wouldn’t have to acknowledge them, because it was Frank. 

Blunt-and-brutally-honest, jump-in-front-of-a-bullet, remembers-every-little-detail, got-his-knuckles-bloody-for-you, killed-for-you, Frank.

And that’s why this hurt so much. That’s why this dagger of deceit tore clean right through your chest, leaving you standing in the middle of Frank’s living room, hysterical and furious for an elixir of truth that could make this pain go away and heal your belief in him once again. He’d been so MIA lately that you had spent hours camped out in front of his apartment building tonight, waiting to see his truck pull up just so you could follow him inside and finally have this conversation face to face.

Frank could hear in your voice that he’d hurt you, and even worse, he could see the evidence of it shining in your eyes. The pieces of yourself you’d lent him to patch up his own heart were suddenly bleeding at the seams seeing how his unintentionally selfish preoccupation had left you marooned. Shame didn’t begin to cover the way he felt. He knew he needed to be honest, but he couldn’t tell you everything.

Not yet.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But it ain’t what you think, sweetheart.”

“Then what is it? Explain it to me.”

Frank took a seat on the couch and gently patted the space next to him, looking up at you with diligent patience while you internally debated between standing stubbornly or giving into his request to sit with him. After a moment you finally sat down, but you intentionally put space between the two of you and folded your arms across your chest in a silent gesture of defensiveness. Resting his forearms on the tops of his thighs, Frank clasped his right hand over his left wrist, staring down at his worn boots while deciding his next words carefully.

“I got a new assignment.”

The quiet tone of Frank’s voice and the lack of eye contact while he spoke immediately caused a spark in your nervous system. 

“Where?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Frank let a moment of silence pass before turning his head to look at you with an apologetic gleam in his warm brown eyes.

“I’ve been helpin’ Madani with somethin’.”

Pinching at the bridge of your nose, you let out a slow exhale of irritation. Frank had already strained your patience with his behavior this past month, and his obscure responses were only making it worse.

“Why are you being so secretive about this?”

“It’s complicated-”

“Complicated how? You didn’t have to hide the last job from me-”

“This one is different-”

“Different how? That doesn’t make any sense-”

“You gonna let me talk? Or you gonna keep yellin’ at me?”

The way you clenched your jaw and narrowed your gaze at his quip made Frank regret letting his own frustration get the best of him. You were already pissed off, now was not the time for him to snap back at you like he normally did when the two of you argued about something. A wave of annoyance quickly crested within you. The second you stood up from the couch, Frank’s large hand reached out to grab your wrist.

“Hey, c’mon. Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Walk away from this conversation-”

“What conversation, Frank? You’re not doing anything but giving me vague excuses. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”

Frank gave your wrist a gentle tug to get you to sit back down next to him on the couch. He once again waited calmly as you stood defiantly for a moment before reluctantly sitting back down. He let his large hand glide across your wrist to take your hand into his own, holding it firmly in his lap while cocking his head to the side to try and catch your gaze.

“Look at me, sweetheart.”

When he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, the prolonged pause of silence caused you to eventually shift your attention back to Frank, and you could see that his brown eyes were a deep shade of contrition.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve been distracted lately, and I haven’t been ‘round like I shoulda been. And you’re right, I did lie to ya, and I’m sorry ‘bout that. I’m not tryin’ to keep things from ya, sweetheart. It’s just…this one is…it’s different.” 

“Why? What makes this one so different that you have to lie to me about it?”

“It’s personal.”

Now it was your turn to be perplexed. You thought Frank was long past holding you at arms length and keeping up a fortified impenetrable steel wall around his heart and mind. He’d opened up to you before, talked about his life in the Marines, told you about the family he’d loved and lost, even spoke about them more comfortably and freely now without the shadow of grief looming over his words. Why was he back to shielding his vulnerability?

“Personal?”

Frank knew you wanted more of an explanation. You needed more. And he hated that he couldn’t give it to you right now. He hated that there was still so much that he was holding back from you, and that it was his own fault you were even doubting him in the first place.

“Listen, I can’t explain it right now, alright? But I will. When it’s all said and done, I’m…I’m gonna…I’ll have to tell ya some things first, some things you may not wanna hear and probably won’t like hearin’. But I promise, I’m gonna tell you everythin’, alright? I just need you to trust me right now.”

Every word Frank spoke hid another piece of the puzzle he was crafting, and you were left with misshapen gaps of confusion. You didn’t know what he meant by saying there were things he had to explain that you might not want to hear, or how that factored into the job he was currently working. Nothing he was saying made any sense to you, and it only left you with more crucial questions than justifiable answers. Pulling your hand away from his, you got up from the couch and started to stressfully pace back and forth.

“So the reason you’ve been a shitty boyfriend lately is because of this new assignment, that you can’t tell me anything about, other than it’s personal, but you can’t explain why that is. And it’s going to take you somewhere eventually, but you can’t tell me where, because you don’t even know yet, and even if you did, you still wouldn’t tell me. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you have no idea how long this is going to last, but you expect me to sit here and act like everything is fine between us and trust you even though I have no fucking idea where you’re going or what you’re doing. Did I miss anything?”

Frank could hear the barely concealed hostility in your tone. He couldn’t combat a single thing you said. When you finally stopped pacing and turned to face him, staring at him expectantly, a ring of treachery was blazing around your irises. He could see it right then in your eyes. If he didn’t fix this, he would lose you.

Slowly rising from the couch, Frank stood there with a dispirited weight resting on his shoulders, a look of pleading softening his warm brown eyes. 

“I’m gonna handle this as soon as I can, I promise.”

“I can’t do another month of this, Frank.”

“Then it won’t be another month. I’ll figure it out before then.”

“How?”

The resentment you felt towards Frank was rapidly fading into pure desperation. All you wanted was an answer, a real answer. Something of substance that you could understand, something tangible to hold onto during this period of uncertainty. Frank could feel the despair radiating off of you in thick sorrowful waves, and the fact that you were close to forfeiting this argument had him instantly tensing as the chill of dread straightened his spine. He had to give you something.

“Listen, Madani gave me some intel, alright? I’ve been followin’ it, tryin’ to find proof she’s right, or if she’s just seein’ what she wants to see.”

“But why did she give it to you? What can you do that Homeland Security can’t?”

Frank stared at you silently for a moment, and you could see a look of hesitation flash in his eyes. There was something there, something you couldn’t figure out. But you could tell by the expression on his face that there was a lot more to this than it being a top secret assignment from Homeland. Whatever it was, it had everything to do with Frank. You just couldn’t figure out why. After a terse minute of silence, Frank stood up a little straighter while subtly clenching his jaw, and there was a hardened look in his eyes.

“Cause it’s connected to someone I know.”

The way he spoke that sentence with an ominous undertone sent an icy torrent down your spine. Sensing your trepidation, Frank let out a deep sigh and glanced around his apartment for a moment while lost in thought before eventually looking at you again, this time with a softer gaze.

“Look, I can’t explain it all right now, sweetheart. All I can tell ya is that Madani needed someone she could trust on this, and I owe her a debt.”

Letting those words sink in, you tried to put your biased emotions aside for a moment and think logically about what Frank was saying. Dinah had asked him for a favor. Part of you found it  surprising that she came to Frank and Billy, considering the way she acted towards Billy the day Steven was arrested. But maybe that look of distrust and disdain had everything to do with the complicated relationship they’d had that Billy mentioned. 

If Frank was working for Dinah, then he was working for Homeland, which meant he probably didn’t have a choice but to keep everything from you. And yet, here he was still trying to give you crumbs of explanations, and promising to tell you everything once this new assignment was over. At least you could lay the fear to rest that he was seeing someone else. Standing here now, you felt ridiculous that you’d restlessly jumped to the conclusion of an illicit affair. But in your own defense, it had been difficult to think clearly when Frank’s covert behavior mirrored that of past boyfriends' unfaithful performances.

As your shoulders physically deflated from your own conspiracies unraveling just to get tangled in a new set of ambiguities, you let out a deep exhale and rubbed both of your palms tiredly down your face, grasping onto the back of your neck for a moment. When you first showed up at Frank’s apartment, you had felt completely warranted in your anger. Now, you weren’t sure if you had overreacted in your manic state, or if you still had a right to be upset with Frank. At this point, you just felt drained from trying to balance on that tightrope of your own conflicting emotions.

Frank had saved your life several times over, and Dinah personally made sure that Steven would spend the rest of his life in prison. You owed them both everything. The least you could do was show them a little patience. 

“Alright. Fine.”

In the nine months that Frank had known you, never once had you conceded in an argument. Even when you were in the wrong, you struggled with admitting that you had been erroneous. Frank’s blood ran cold with the thought that he might have pushed you too far healing the casual defeat in your voice. He didn’t want you to give up on him like this. Frank quickly took a step towards you the second you took a step towards the door, reaching out to gently grab your arm.

“Hey, hey c’mon. Don’t go.”

“Frank, I’m tired-”

“Then stay. Just stay here, c’mon. It’s late, yeah? Stay.”

Frank wasn’t giving you any room to decline the offer disguised as a command. One of his strong arms slipped around your waist, pulling you firmly into his chest while his large hand gently cradled the back of your head. He pressed his lips in a soft, lingering kiss to the crown of your head, hugging onto you tightly while resting his cheek against the side of your head. The rigid tension in your body lethargically began to melt, and Frank’s deep gravelly voice whispering into your ear dismantled the last of your defensiveness.

“Just stay with me, baby. Please stay.”

Frank knew that he didn’t deserve you. He didn’t feel that he’d earned this second chance at life he was getting. But he would be damned if he’d let anything ruin this now that he had you. He would’ve told Madani to go to hell if he’d known the favor was going to cause such a big disruption to the peace he’d found within you.

But not only did he owe his second shot to her, he desperately needed to know the truth himself.

“When will you leave?”

Frank hugged onto you even tighter, rubbing his hand along your lower back in soothing slow circles.

“M’not sure yet. But I’ll tell ya as soon as I know, I promise. And I’ll make sure you’re taken care of while I’m gone, yeah? I’ll be back before ya know it, baby.”

Hearing the soft sigh that sounded from you, Frank nuzzled his nose into your hair and whispered gently to you.

“Listen, I won’t take no more jobs like this, alright? I’m gonna handle this for Madani, and that’s it. I won’t do anythin’ else that’ll take me too far from you, yeah? I’m not gonna leave ya, sweetheart. I told ya I’m always gonna be here. I meant that then, and I mean it now. You ain’t ever gotta worry ‘bout that.”

You tried to find comfort in those words, but you weren’t in the mental state to accept any vows. You couldn’t get past the glaring truth that Frank was hiding something from you, and until you knew what it was, that crack of dishonesty would continue to slowly spread. You had a sneaking suspicion in the pit of your stomach that whatever verity Frank was concealing had the potential to shatter everything; unveiling the illusion that your relationship hadn’t been formed out of the impervious stone that you’d believed in, but rather of futile glass.

tags: @thyme-in-a-bubble @day-dreaming-goddess @messymissy @itwasthereaminuteago @strawberry1042 @queenofthenoobs @wanda2themax @xcastawayherosx @avengerstower-houseplant @stevenknightmarc @ponyosmom35 @babygal-babygal @wellwwhynot @oldermenaremyreligion @combustiblemeow @tired-night-owl @fairykiss32 @danzer8705 @calkissed @fxckahs-blog @lemon-world1 @polskiperson @imperihoe @v4leoftears @harperdoodle @spideyvibez @joalslibrary @cherry-berry-ollie @sorrowfulfragmentation @kdogreads @sumo-b98 @blackhawkfanatic @gloryekaterina @whistle1whistle @starbritestarlite @callmebrooklynbabes @hallway5 @scarletfvckingwitch @bifuriouslatina @soupyspence @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @wonwoosthetic @linguist-breakaribecca @nerdytreeflower @mrs-bellingham @smhnxdiii @s3riou2 @slavic-empress

[goldengleams]

maxed out | luke hughes

In which Luke calls you out.

Warnings: swearing, fighting

LUKE HUGHES!!!!! ANGST!!!!! Two of my favorite things, hope you enjoy!

————————————————————————

The week was almost over but you felt like you hadn’t achieved anything. You had completed dense readings and wrote two papers and yet an exam and a project loomed in the future. And that wasn’t including the internships you needed to apply for. Apparently they weren’t kidding when they said junior year of college was going to hit you like a ton of bricks.

Three of Luke’s attempts to set up a FaceTime date with you had gone declined, you had opted to do more work instead. Instead of watching a livestream of your boyfriend’s game, you settled for watching the highlight reel before you went to sleep, sending him a congratulatory text when he played well.

You knew long distance with Luke wouldn’t be easy but you both were willing to give it a try. Your relationship was strong when Luke was at Michigan and you thought you would be able to balance everything.

You thought wrong.

Forgotten were all the busy nights when Luke had saved you from your studies or you went to watch a movie with him in his room. Quick lunches and chats in between classes seemed so important just a year ago, but now you couldn’t bring yourself to take your mind off college.

You had sent endless apologies to Luke, which he accepted, but you still felt bad. You knew each other’s schedules pretty well so you felt bad declining his advances when he knew you didn’t have a club meeting or a class. Unfortunately, you never really had a real break due to assignments.

As you wrote in the homework for the next week in your planner, you heard other girls passing by your door. Their voices were loud as they talked about which bar to hit up first, who they were going to meet there.

You felt yourself slipping, tears forming in your eyes at the reminder that that was you. Last fall, you had the boyfriend, the friend group, the perfect schedule. Now, that had all crumbled. You hadn’t felt this alone since your first semester.

As if your body was reacting to the stress you had put it under, you felt yourself start to tremble. Your pen fell from your hand as it shook and you slumped over at your desk. You tried to breathe through the shakiness that overcame you, but it was no use.

You had pushed everyone away in hopes that you could accomplish your schoolwork and applications before you devoted time to relationships with others. Luke, especially, had hurt the most to ignore. He had never made you feel alone. Now, you felt absolutely defeated.

In the midst of your tears, you felt your desk vibrating. Lifting your head, you saw your phone sat on the charger, buzzing with a call.

“Call from Luke Hughes 🤍”

Your stomach dropped. You knew exactly what Luke was doing. About a year ago, when he had first started thinking about leaving early to play in the NHL, Luke had pushed you away, thinking it would hurt less. In an effort to save your budding relationship, you made a promise to call each other when you felt like you weren’t ready to talk face to face. If the other felt like something was wrong, a call was the way to get them to open up.

But Luke had never called you before.

Taking a deep breath, you quickly tried to gather yourself before you clicked the green answer button.

“Hey,” you croaked. You quietly tried to clear your throat so that Luke wouldn’t think something was wrong.

“Hi Y/N,” Luke said softly.

A beat went by with no conversation, so you decided to take control in an effort to steer him off his original course.

“Um, how was the game? I didn’t catch the highlights yet, I’ve just been finishing some homework.”

“On a Friday?” Luke questioned. His tone of voice was bordering on disapproving.

“Yeah, Luke,” you bit back. “I’ve been swamped with work.”

“Y/N, you’re literally the only person I know who works this hard. You can’t always be swamped with work, my god,” Luke complained. “We haven’t talked in a week, y’know.”

“I know, Luke,” you said, feeling a lump rising in your throat.

“I just don’t get it, Y/N. Things used to be so much easier. We used to actually make time for each other, and we used to-“

“Luke, don’t tell me shit I already know,” you warned. “We both knew that things would be different long distance, and we’re still figuring it out.” You knew it was a weak argument, but you felt the need to defend yourself against his fighting words. Whenever you called Luke out on his lack of communication, you never went in with criticism like this.

“No, no I will tell you because I thought we agreed to be there for each other, Y/N. You don’t even watch my games, let alone care about my well-being. It’s like you’re not even there!”

“Are you serious?” You flared. Whether it was due to Luke being the youngest sibling or just being a boy, he always knew how to push your buttons at the worst times. “You know how much I care about you, so don’t even say that, Luke.”

“Yeah well it doesn’t feel like it-it feels like I’m just another task for you now, Y/N,” Luke shouted into the phone. “I have games and practice and everything else and I still manage to talk to you!”

“Well I’m sorry that I’m still in college, trying to get a degree and an internship and every other fucking thing at the same time!” You snapped.

“See, you don’t even care that I was literally there with you, not even six months ago!” You could hear Luke slamming his hand on his desk and you imagined he had a pretty intense look on his face. This wasn’t good. “In case you forgot, I took classes and did homework too, Y/N, but I still had a social life and cared about my friends. It’s like you’re trying to act like you’re smarter than me as an excuse!”

“Fuck you, Luke!” You hadn’t meant to start yelling at Luke, especially not through the phone, but you couldn’t help it. You were at your breaking point with school and Luke was at his breaking point with you.

By now, the tears were flowing in steady streams down your face. To be pushed to the side like this by Luke was something you had never expected.

You couldn’t help the sob that escaped your throat. Once one got out, you couldn’t stop them. The weight of your relationship, school, and your future was finally crashing in on you.

“Y/N?” Luke asked. “Babe, I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not!” You mustered out through your tears. “You called me and I thought you were gonna ask me if I was okay, if I needed anything.”

“And, god, I know I haven’t been a good girlfriend or a good friend, Luke, but I’m on the verge of a fucking breakdown and, and I can barely get through each day, and I guess I just hoped you could tell,” you gasped, feeling close to the point of no return. “I hoped that you wouldn’t give up on me.”

There was silence on Luke’s end of the line.

Your heavy breathing filled in the tense space. You were acutely aware that your walls were thin and someone may have heard everything, but you couldn’t care at this point. You sniffled pitifully, full blown crying having calmed down a little.

“I’d never give up on you, Y/N,” Luke said quietly. “You know I care about you, I’d never give up on what we have.”

You felt a breath enter your lungs as he said it. Maybe there really was hope.

“For real? Because we just had a screaming match on the phone,” you let out a pitiful wet chuckle.

"Well, I did plan to call you tonight to like, actually call you out and see if you were okay but it didn't really go that way," Luke said, sheepishly. "I never wanted to make you cry, Y/N. I'm sorry."

You nodded, knowing Luke couldn't see you but feeling comfort in his intention. You took a deep breath, feeling your nerves calm.

"I mean, you weren't wrong, Luke. I haven't called you and I haven't texted, and I know it's not right but I was just so overwhelmed that I didn't want to take it out on you,” you sighed. “Everything’s been piling up and it’s hard for me to admit that I need help.”

"Y/N," Luke whined. "You know I'm here. You don't have to be stressed out all alone, babe."

"I know," you mumbled. You dragged the sleeve of your sweatshirt across your face to wipe your tears. "I miss you, Lukey. School isn’t fun when you’re not here."

Your phone started buzzing on your desk and you realized that Luke was trying to FaceTime you. You swore that boy could stay on FaceTime all day if his life depended on it. He loved just watching you through the screen, whether it was getting ready or just cooking, he enjoyed every moment of it.

“Hey babe,” he answered when you picked up. He had a small smile on his face and he looked so cute with his freshly washed hair and sweatshirt on.

“Sorry I look rank, I didn’t think we’d call tonight,” you admitted. Your hair was pulled back in an uncommitted hair style and your glasses sat on the bridge of your nose, half sliding down as you tried to wipe your eyes more.

"You look perfect, Y/N. And I miss you more, by the way," Luke countered, laughing a little. "I just want you to relax and do something other than stress about school."

“I mean, I’d like to do that too, just for the record,” you mumbled, yawning into your hand. The stress of the week was finally making you tired.

“How about you go get your nails done and go to lunch? See if Molly’s around,” Luke suggested.

You smiled at Luke on the screen. Even after your relationship was just tested, you and Luke always seemed to pull through.

“Maybe,” you replied. “I did finish my assignments for this weekend, so I could probably rela-”

“Yes! Just sent you money, I’m texting Rutger to tell Molly,” Luke rambled. Your heart warmed at the idea that he was so adamant on helping you de-stress after everything that went on this week. You watched Luke’s determined face on your phone screen as he went to work. Your boyfriend had always shown his love in actions. Luke poked away at his phone and when he was content, set the phone back up against his desk.

“Rutger said he’ll ask Molly but that she’s probably free, so you can finally leave that cave that you call a room,” he laughed.

“Oh please,” you rolled your eyes. “But thank you, that would be really fun to hang out with someone, I’ve missed doing that.”

You and Luke talked for a few more minutes, catching up on his games and his brothers. He even mentioned flying you out for a game, but that was a conversation for another day when you weren’t exhausted. It wasn’t long before your eyelids were drooping, yawns escaping your mouth frequently.

“Go to sleep, babe,” Luke said softly.

“But I want to talk to you, Lukey,” you mumbled, but also stood up to make the short walk to your bed. You climbed in under the sheets and immediately felt peace.

“Call me in the morning, okay?”

You gave a sleepy nod, and mumbled a goodnight to him. You felt better about everything you had talked about with Luke. Everything would be alright.

“Love you, Y/N,” Luke said.

“Love you, Luke, sweet dreams,” you whispered. You shut your phone off and dreamed of seeing your boyfriend again soon.

————————————————————————

Luke has been looking so boyfriend in the last few games so I had to write this!! Enjoy the angst 🥰 feel free to send me requests!!

[luna-writes-stuff]

I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing, Steve Harrington

Song link

Fanfic, fem! reader

Mutual pining, fluff

Word count: 3494

Tw: As a fellow introvert it pains me to tell you you are now going to prom. Sorry. There’s an f-bomb in here. Light cursing?? Idk have you even watched Stranger Things?

Summary: Steve was convinced he was only able to fall in love once, and that one love was Nancy Wheeler. And when all of that fell apart, he met you. He couldn’t explain how or why, but you were simply it for him. Never before had he been anxious to ask a girl out, so why were you so different? And how come Dustin knows more about flirting than he does?

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping. While you're far away and dreaming.”

Steve has only been in love once - Nancy Wheeler. He had told himself this over and over again. He knew what it felt like, he knew what it was like. He knew what the difference was between liking and loving. And the only one he had truly loved was Nancy Wheeler. So, when she started dating Jonathan, his heart crumbled into a million little pieces. For once, he finally understood the girls at his high school who would spend their break wallowing away in bathrooms.

After that, he wouldn’t dare even look at others in a specific way. He was convinced he could only love one person his entire life. He’d never find something real after that. It was a terrifying melodramatic thought in his head that simply refused to leave.

He was at his lowest when he met you.

“I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever. Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.”

How you had never caught his eyes, he couldn’t quite believe. For years, you had been in the same English class. Hell, you used to sit directly next to him for a handful of months. He was so blindly and foolishly in love with Nancy, he refused to see anything else for him out there. And where he had once blamed it on loyalty and fidelity, he could now only consider himself as stupid.

You were forced to work on a project together in your senior year, Steve’s final year of torment. He was too late to pair with familiar faces, and was left with the person behind him - you. A lucky coincidence.

It wasn’t anything special at first. You were simply a classmate. But when he failed to show up on agreed study times, or refused to form a normal conversation with you, you showed up at his doorstep. You barely even know him, yet you took the effort to seek him out - initially in pure anger, as this was supposed to be your grade as well, and he was screwing it up, but you afterwards considered this action to have been out of genuine caring. It wouldn’t take an expert to recognize that he had not been true to his prior years persona.

Reluctantly, he had allowed you in, trying to procrastinate as much as he could. You spent the evening properly introducing yourself. You talked about family, work, school, interests, and friends that would later appear to be somewhat mutual (Steve didn’t necessarily consider Jonathan his friend, but he at least knew him on certain terms.) Where you first appeared to be the stuck-up good grades student, he found that you were actually quite interesting to talk with. Even if your interests weren’t always related, he found himself relaxing around you.

“Don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna to fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

It took two weeks for him to shift slightly around you. He’d grown more comfortable, and had actually tried to put in some effort in your project. After the study dates, he’d treat you to a drink at a nearby snackbar on his way to your home. During classes - if they were shared -, he started seeking you out more. Sometimes, though rare, he’d sit at your table at lunch, ranting about a teacher or a test he just had.

It took two more weeks before he started changing again. To him, it came out of nothing. You had been at his place, discussing what you would be doing the final three weeks of your project, your voice passionate as you explained your plan, your hands following along with your speech enthusiastically. Then, it all clicked for him. There was no special thing you did that made it happen: no faces too nearby, no flirty laugh, no hesitant hug, no brief kiss on his cheek - it was simply you speaking about something you were excited about. And his heart skipped a beat at it. The feeling you’d get just before you go down a rollercoaster, or when your chair almost falls backwards - but then in a good way.

The last time he felt that was when Nancy winked at him from across the room. And that was last year. He knew the feeling, and it did not take him longer than a second to figure out what it was. He didn’t dare to say it, though. He might say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing and something about that made him so scared. He’d never felt anxious to walk up to someone and simply confess how he felt. It came easy to him.

Not after that one stupid rant you did.

“'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do, I'd still miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

He wouldn’t speak of it to anyone. He hadn’t even told himself out loud yet. He told himself that if he’d speak it, it might disappear, or bring him bad luck. He cursed himself afterwards and scolded his mind for suddenly picking up superstition.

He’d try so badly to behave somewhat normal around you, and not as if his heart was beating way too quickly whenever you spoke his name or nudged his shoulder with your pen. In his eyes, he was doing a great job at it. He didn’t stutter once, nor did he forget his words. He didn’t sweat, didn’t act on emotion. He was completely nailing this.

He never noticed his staring. You had.

“Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating. And I'm wondering what you're dreaming. Wondering if it's me you're seeing.”

You had noticed it only a day after Steve’s realisation. Sure, he had shown interest in you, but they never included prolonged eye contact, nor the feeling of being watched over during classes. It was uncomfortable when it first started, but when he failed to do anything about the staring in a negative sense, you figured his mind had just been too preoccupied with other things and let it slide.

But every time you’d walk the halls, you swear Steve kept his eyes on you even after you had greeted him at the lockers. During breaks, he would constantly be throwing you looks, and you had to pretend to look at something else to not be creepy as well. He started walking you to your car, helping you carry school books, and saving you lunch.

You might not have been the smartest, but you weren’t oblivious. He didn’t do this for his other friends - which he had known way longer than he had known you. He wouldn’t even walk his ‘children’ friends outside school. And you might have understood him if he had done so. But he didn’t. Not with anyone except you.

But maybe you were thinking too much of it.

“Then I kiss your eyes And thank God we're together. And I just wanna stay with you in this moment forever. Forever and ever.”

“Steve,” Dustin urged. “Earth to Steve.” The boy in question only grunted in annoyance, reluctantly tearing his eyes from you and your friend group. “Dude, this is almost becoming creepy.” Dustin continued. “Just talk to her. You’re friends, right?” “Yes, Dustin,” Steve groaned. “We’re friends.” An aloud confirmation. To himself and to Dustin. You were just friends, sure.

“Friends don’t really stare at each other the entire time.” Rolling his eyes, Steve shook his head at the boy, giving him a pointed look. “I’m not looking at her the entire time.” “Maybe not, but when you’re not looking, she is.” That made his head spin around too fast, his eyes briefly meeting yours before they cast back to your friends.

“That’s totally normal,” Dustin emphasised. “Me and Mike make love-sick eyes at each other the entire time.” “Will you shut it?” Steve hissed, his face warm as he tried to look at the wall behind you. “I would, but all of this staring is making me sick.” “No one asked you to look.” “It’s impossible not to.”

“I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna to fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

“She’s totally into you, you know that right?” Dustin prodded. “Shut up.” “No, I’m serious, man. She’s my babysitter and she talks about you all the time.” He exaggerated, a notion Steve was quick to catch onto, giving the younger boy an accusing look. “Okay, so, maybe I am the one who brings you up, but she is the one who starts laughing and talking all about how funny you are.” He defended, holding his hands up as he shrugged. And with those words, Steve was left speechless for just a short second.

“If you ask her out to prom, I can guarantee you, she’ll say yes.” Dustin hinted. “You’ll have the perfect ambiance - lights, music, clothes, and amazing company.” “Dude, you’re twelve.” Steve deadpanned, yet curiously thinking Dustin’s offer over. “I’m thirteen.” “Big difference.”

“If this is what growing up is like, I don’t want any part of it.” “No,” Steve finally agreed. “Trust me; you don’t.”

“Dude, you’re the king of Hawkins High,” Dustin tried to convince. “If you can’t ask a girl out, what are my chances?” Steve formed his lips in a thin line upon the words, shrugging aimlessly. Dustin’s hands found Steve’s biceps, clutching them tightly, taking him by surprise. “Give me hope, Steve.”

“Geez, man,” Steve muttered confused. “It’s not the end of the world.” “You’re right: it isn’t.” Dustin agreed, a sudden smile on his face. “So, talk to her.” Then, he turned the older boy around, forcing his eyes to suddenly fall on yours. Again, his face heated up at the contact, his eyes back on the wall behind you before yours could fall to the floor in a flustered mess.

“'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do, I'd still miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

He wanted to back away, let the weird thirteen-year-old he met last year down and swallow his pride to the depth of his stomach, but one of your friends had already noticed him, sparing him a wave before taking off with the rest of the group, leaving only you there. If he couldn’t even ask you when you were alone, what dignity did he have left?

And thus, with courage he did not know he had to muster up, he walked towards you, his heart wildly beating, screaming at him to turn around and hide while he still could. Stupid. That never happened before. It was scary - he hated it. Weak for a talk.

“You didn’t mention a little brother,” You began, trying to start a conversation as your eyes fell on Dustin, who had - not so casually - started paying a lot of attention to his shoes. Chuckling awkwardly, Steve shook his head. “No, he’s not my brother.” “Cousin?” “Weird kid that started following me around last year.” A quiet ‘ah’ of understanding escaped you as you nodded hesitantly. “Must have been quite the conversation you were having.” “You really don't want to know.” You laughed at this.

Stupid. Stupid heart skipping that stupid beat at your stupid smile.

“I don't wanna miss one smile. And I don't wanna miss one kiss. And I just wanna be with you Right here with you, just like this.”

Then, the silence came. You hadn’t shared those yet. You always had a lot to say, and if not, he would. But this was an uncomfortable silence. Granted, he had known you for five weeks, but he did not like this one bit. He felt as if he had gotten to know you better in five weeks than he had his other friends in four years. He didn’t even know if Tommy had a brother or a sister - or maybe it was both. He knew your entire family, though.

Dustin was right. That wasn’t normal for friends. Or at least - not for his versions of friends. He was interested in them, but not as much as he was in you. And that wasn’t just because you were generally pleasing to look at. It was important to him, though.

“Um, pretty,” Steve mumbled, not even realising what he had said. An unconscious notion of himself as he tried to fill the silence. It even startled him, his heart sinking slightly as he tried to cover it up. “Prom.”

Yes, there was no going back now.

“And I just wanna hold you close. I feel your heart so close to mine. And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time.”

“Prom.” You nodded at him as he repeated his words. “Next month.” You reminded him, thinking he didn’t know the date. “Right, yes,” Steve agreed, grateful you hadn’t taken up his slip. “Do you plan on going?” You thought of it for a while. In truth, you had meant to be going with a friend, but she cancelled last week, claiming she’d rather take another friend who would be in town that week. You understood her - you might have done the same. But you weren’t going to show up to prom alone. Besides, staying home wouldn’t be the worst idea. Cinemas would likely be very empty that night. You might spend your evening there.

“I don’t think so.” You finally settled on. “Not?” “I was gonna go with a friend, but she cancelled.” “That’s lame, I’m sorry.” Steve tried to offer in sympathy, but you shook him off. “No, I don’t blame her. One of her long-distance friends will be in town, and she’d rather take her.” “Still,” Steve continued. “That must have sucked.” You lightly shook your head at him, a tiny grin on your face. “Yes, but it’s okay. I don’t hate her for it.”

Another silence. This time due to both of you thinking over your words. Stupid. He never had to do that before.

“Why?” You prodded playfully. “Planning to ask me yourself, Harrington?”

Yet again, his heart skipped a beat. Stupid.

“Don't wanna close my eyes. Don't wanna fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

“Only out of pity.” He covered up quickly, his eyes not deviating from yours once. “I’m the worst pity party.” You joked, to which he faintly found himself sparing a laugh. “I’d be happy to join it.” “Yeah, you would.” You replied sarcastically, nodding your head in humour.

A third beat of silence. Now, the pounding in his heart was begging for some action. One more silence and he might spontaneously combust. “What if I was?” He mustered out, his eyes falling back on the wall behind you. Looking behind you to see what he was looking at, you frowned lightly, forcing your eyes back to his face. “What if you were what?” “Planning to ask you to prom?” A deep falling of his heart. Stupid.

“I’d ask why you didn’t ask future prom queen Heather.” You replied after a handful of seconds, not sure how to respond to him. You’d be lying if you said your heart wasn’t copying his exact movements. “Because she’s fake.” He stated easily, causing you to gasp lightly, looking around to check if others were around. “Steve,” You scolded. “I’m serious,” He disclosed honestly. “She always pretends to feel bad for others, but she’s as much of a bully as she is narcissistic.”

You could join him and rant about this girl, but in truth, you barely even knew her. Part of it made you feel guilty. Thankfully, Steve caught on quickly: “Besides, I already rejected her.”

“'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do. I'd still miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

Mouth slacked open, you looked at him in surprise. Again, you didn’t really know the girl, but you knew her enough to be aware of her reputation. Or, more importantly, her looks. “You rejected Heather?” You asked confused, a feather light feeling entering your stomach. “Yeah, well, I’m not really one for dances, but I could make an exception.” Steve defended, trying to play it off cool. His exterior was doing a great job at it. Inside, whatsoever, it was pure rampage. His brain was scavenging for the right words or actions. He truly didn’t want to screw this up, but he had never felt this anxious around a person. If this would not be the moment, he didn’t know if it would ever come again.

Luckily, you did not notice the turmoil, and responded to his words before he could make a fool out of himself. “You’d make an exception for your study buddy?” You tested, still unsure whether he was joking or not. If he was, it was a cruel one. “You need those grades, don’t you?” “No.” He denied quickly, almost instantly. “I’d make an exception for a good friend. And all I need is just a little bit of your time.” “For what?” You asked, raising your eyebrows slightly.

Holding you, you idiot. Keeping you close, not tearing my eyes from you if I can help it. Maybe a little kiss here and there, light touches on your waist, repressing those stupid beats of my heart.

Instead, what came out was: “Dancing, duh.”

“I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

“I don’t have an outfit.” You avoided, slightly taken aback by his cool behaviour. Sure, you had learned his humour, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t expecting him to show just a little emotion and a positive response to your slightly high hopes. Then, he said something that truly took you aback.

“Wear this. You look beautiful in this too.” It was out before he could even stop it. He hadn’t even realised his brain had been forming these words. They just stumbled out. And when you went slack at them, he wanted nothing more than to dig his head into the nearest wall. “I’m-“ He tried to salvage, desperately stumbling over his words.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This was exactly what he had been avoiding all this time and now his speech was failing him.

“I’m sorry, that was-“ No words managed to follow up that trail of thought, leaving you there, still wide-eyed. “Fuck.” He silently mumbled to himself, before just running with what he had slipped out. “You look perfect just like this.”

“Thank you.” You nearly whispered, your heart surely in your throat now. This was precisely what you wanted to hear, so why did you not know how to respond to it.

“Yeah, no problem.” Steve sighed helplessly.

“'Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream would never do, I'd still miss you baby. And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

“So, prom? With me?” He swallowed his dignity, saying his words as he had always meant them. No de-tours now. And at that, your courage began to build up again. “As friends?” You tested. “Maybe,” Steve answered. “Or, maybe, as a date.” A sigh of relief swept through you, the action not going unnoticed by Steve. He did not mention it however.

“It’ll be a hell of a first date.” You muttered, your happiness doing its best containing itself. “It doesn’t have to be.” Steve dismissed. Your hopes fell to the floor at that, afraid you had gotten ahead of yourself. Hadn’t he said it aloud? Hadn’t he proposed it had been a date?

“I heard the cinema is playing Gremlins tonight.” He interrupted your train of thought, a slight smile on his face. You copied it nearly immediately, more relief flooding your senses. And then, a sudden burst of confidence: “You know the purpose of the cinema is watching movies, right? Not me.” Hissing and nodding at your hint, his shoulders fell slightly. “Am I that creepy?” “At first, yes,” You admit honestly. “But it’s cute.”

Cute. Stupid.

“What time?” Having remembered the exact time for this perfect scenario, Steve perked up slightly. “Eight.” “Pick me up at seven-thirty,” You proposed. “You know where I live.” Then, you turned around, ready to head to your next classes. You spared him a light wave, before moving towards the halls. His eyes followed you until you were out of sight.

That stupid smile. Those stupid eyes. Your stupid voice. Your stupid humour.

You were going to be the death of him.

“Don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall asleep, And I don't wanna miss a thing.”

[grapejuicestyless]

Pomegranates

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: Y/n is naive and Harry knows it. She is so easy to fool, so easy to change. Her heart, something meant to be a gift is her curse. And it only hurts her in the end. Based off of pomegranate symbolism.

ANGST(what else am I good for)

How selfish the world is. To allow a person, so sweet and soft. To give love, share love with whomever they choose. Only to let another mutilate the heart that was once full.

To let the wicked taint the pure and the cruel diminish the kind. It was a sick thing, but something that would never be changed. While you could avoid the easily detectable, sometimes flaws came out over time. As you peel back the layers, you submerge yourself into the mess you let yourself make. And over time, you begin to wonder if it’s truly worth it.

Y/n really liked pomegranates. She told Harry that on their first date. Rapid fire questions between the two of them, candle light dinner and a glimmer in their eyes. More than that, something she was too shy to share out loud, she found that she really liked his eyes. How green they were. They truly were captivating, in a way she had never experienced before.

She liked the way his toothy grin made her feel excited. How his hands would ghost over her skin and leave goosebumps in their wake. When he whispered those sweet nothings to her, she felt nothing but desire for her lover beside her. His hot breath by her neckline and his possessive touch.

When her friends warned her they were moving far too fast, she shrugged them off, scoffing and teasing about love and jealousy. She didn’t see an issue with their pace. How quickly she’d moved in, how quietly she’d distanced herself from everyone else. Harry had told her that they were no good friends. Real friends wouldn’t try to pry and break apart relationships. He whispered in her ear about jealousy and selfishness. And the sparkle in his eyes and the way his arms wrapped tighter around her made Y/n believe him somehow.

It was the start of the end, and Y/n could not see it.

But it was in her nature. Born to become someone who nurtured, not to be nurtured. With her well spoken tongue and her infectious laughter. Her trusting heart and foolish soul. Everyone always knew she was destined for a life of happiness, even if it was under false pretenses.

Merely ten months into their relationship, when Harry got down properly on one knee, declaring his love to her with tears in his eyes and a shaky voice, Y/n proudly put the rock on her finger and smiled with such innocence it was certain the girl was unaware of the suffering that would come.

Her parents warn her that he’s no good. That under all his affection there’s a wicked man with a sinister smirk and a list of hurting people. Her friends tell her she’s making a mistake. And only three of her friends come to the wedding.

She doesn’t understand why, at first. Each morning, he greets her with a kiss, raspy morning voice mumbling about how he still can’t process that she is finally his. At night, he has her beneath him, puffs of air escaping their mouths and lips locking together messily. She’s never felt more loved. He’s a loving man who treats her right, so why is their love so disapproved of?

She had a kind spirit, a trusting heart, and a foolish soul. It was obvious. An innocent little thing. Something so easy to take advantage of, to manipulate.

Y/n loved pomegranates, so she should’ve known. The more you peel back the layers, the messier it gets.

Soon, the sweet nothings turn to dead silence. And bodies pressed together with no room to breathe turns to backs facing each other and prayers from Y/n that he will once again show her the same affection that he once had for her.

Silent prayers turn to countless efforts to catch his attention. Home cooked meals, new dresses, new perfumes. She’s nearly there. Peeling back pieces at a time. She’s craving the sweetness she once had before. The sweetness she believes is still there. Somewhere in an undiscovered space.

It consumes her until she has nothing left to change, nothing left to give. She has done all the work, put in all the effort. Harry has ripped her apart and taken all the sweetness she had to offer. He has left behind a distant, heartbroken woman. Only the husk left behind from what once was.

When he kisses her goodnight, he doesn’t even notice the difference in her eyes. The cloudiness or the way her smile lines have turned to frown lines. Her eyebrows have wrinkles in front of them and her skin by her nails is picked and pulled completely raw.

He doesn’t notice because he doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t have to work for it anymore. She’s already his. Completely and forevermore.

Harry thought it was amusing, the whole situation. How she’d bent to his will. Made the mess for him, peeling back each layer of skin until the fruit was left bare and vulnerable to him. And she let him take it all without a fight.

On their first date, Y/n had mentioned how much she loved pomegranates. Promised she would slice and peel them just so he could have a taste. She raved about the sweetness inside. Harry didn’t think it was worth the mess.

And he still didn’t.

[luffyvace]

Kurapika fluffy relationship headcanons :)

i felt like doing some for him so here i am

finding fluffy ones for him isn’t hard but i just wanted to add to the ratio

gn reader! :)

so before i start i want to say that i’m going to do this in a scenario where you met at the boat taking you to dolle harbor

(if you don’t remember it’s the island that leads the entrance exam—aka the island where the old woman asks the main four if you’d rather save your mother or you lover. look it up-)

anyway

you two met on that boat

he looked pretty friendly to you

so you struck a conversation

even if your not the most social- the other guys sure didn’t look friendly

plus you were interested in the book he was reading

which is what you talked about

eventually you got each other’s names and some small introductory facts about each other

so you guys became friends :)

he saw how strong you were during the yellow wolf thing’s test (forgot they name- not gonna look it up)

or if your not strong you were smart enough to figure out that this was a test

or not- again. then maybe he helped you out/protected you

”hey thanks!”

”it’s nothing, just watch your back next time :)”

you travel with kurapika, leorio and gon for some time and get to know the 4 of them decently by the time you make it to the actual exam

fast forward to around the time your getting closer to finishing the exam

leorio has picked up on the fact that kurapika has a crush on you by now

he offers him advice but kurapika decides to do things on his own

fast forward again to after he courts you

(if you want hcs that go more in depth on him crushing or trying to court you just ask)

relationship time!!

i’ll clear this up right here and now-

no he wouldn’t involve you in his spider killing business

ik everyone says that 😭

but it’s true we all just kinda collectively agree he wouldn’t for your safety

especially since your his s/o

now your the closest person he has to family besides friends

and he definitely wouldn’t want to risk that

so no, he wouldn’t involve you the same way he wouldn’t involve killua, gon and leorio

if you get held hostage along with gon and killua he would internally panic

this is kurtapika tho so of course he still stays calm and rational

they’d better not hurt you

but just like gon and killua they left you go :)

he gives you a very very tight hug after that.

he loves reading and would love to bond with you over books if you do too

recommending authors to each other

reading in silence next to each other

sharing your thoughts after finishing the same book

its comforting

kurapika is a pretty good cook

even though he doesn’t do it often he was taught from a young age by his mom

so he’s real good with seasoning

kurapika likes savory foods, a little bit of sweet too

occasionally salty

but he won’t mess with spicer ones

if he does the shopping he won’t come home with spices

you’ll have to buy that

his first instinct wouldn’t be to give massages

but if you ever asked for one he’d realize loves to give and receive them

if your not strong he’d teach you how to defend yourself

probably some basic nen too

he likes cuddles more than he’d like to admit

if you ask he’d blush a little then lay down and wait for you to snuggle up next to him

hes also real good at keep the place clean

he wouldn’t bring up dates since he’s busy a lot but if you suggest one when he has some time he’d be more than happy to go on one with you

he’s a very loyal, honest and communicative lover

on the last one though he’ll shut down and walk away before coming to talk it out later

it kinda sucks but it’s a habit of his so you’ll have to talk to him about it if you want him to put forth effort to stop

he respects and supports most decisions you make as long as they’re safe

he probably told you about his family back when you were friends

like how he did with gon killua and leorio

you can try to comfort him about it but he kinda reacts how he did when he told gon and the others

”only killing all the spiders would be able to put me at ease”

even then as we saw when he heard they “died” he’d still be drowning in a indespicable emptiness 🤓

on a brighter note

if you compliment him his reaction is kinda cute

”oh..! thanks y/n :)”

continue to do it frequently and he’ll do it back to you

it becomes you guys’ thing.

his love languages are quality time (as much as he can) and acts of service

overall he’s a 9/10 lover <3

[kiss-theggoat]

Hola!

I have a weird thought. The slashers with a reader who’s blind.

Thanks so much for this request!! 🖤

Slashers with a Blind Reader

Slashers include Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Bo Sinclair

Michael Meyers

A relationship with Michael would probably be really difficult if you were blind, only due to the fact that he doesn’t talk. There’s no real way to effectively communicate with him, unless he decides to start talking for you, which isn’t very likely.

But, he’d sort of be like a stray cat I think. You’d be laying in your bed trying to sleep and all of the sudden you’d hear a little noise downstairs or hear your window slide open, and you’d know it was Michael. You’d hear the way he was walking and know he had a bad night. Or you could hear the way he slid his coveralls off and tell if they were bloody or not.

Michael would probably adapt to you being blind by walking louder or making himself more known when he’s with you. Usually, he’s focused on being silent and fading away into the shadows, but he’s okay with you knowing where he is at all times.

He’d probably place his hand on your lower back as he walked past you in the kitchen, put a hand in your shoulder as he entered the bathroom while you brushed your teeth. He enjoyed spending time with you and enjoyed being in your home, so he’d find ways to communicate his needs and understand yours.

Jason Voorhees

You’d run into the same issue with Jason as you would with Michael. Even though communication would be difficult, Jason would put a lot more effort into trying to communicate with you.

Jason would hold your hand to lead you around the forest, guiding your hands over things he thought looked pretty or things that you might like to feel. He loves taking you to the field that has flowers growing and watch you smile as you felt the flowers he picked for you.

Sometimes he’d startle you by sneaking up on you and touching your shoulders, making you jump and whip around, but you’d be instantly comforted by his presence. You knew the difference between him and other people, and you could tell instantly it was your Jason.

Date nights usually consisted of cooking a meal together and then Jason would start a fire for you two, gathering cozy quilts his mother had made to set up two spots on the floor in front of the fireplace. You two would eat and cuddle in front of the fire, and you’d feel the warmth soak into your skin, both from the fire and from Jason.

Freddy Krueger

Being in a relationship with Freddy would be like heaven on earth as a blind person. He’d be able to provide you with sight while you slept and give you the power to live two separate lives.

During the day, all you can think about is falling asleep and spending time with Freddy, looking at everything he’s created for you inside of his dream world. Everything was perfect as you slept, and he allowed you to have the perfect life.

Freddy didn’t actually realize you were blind at first, until you reacted so surprised to being able to see in his world. You spent time staring at everything, smiling and identifying things that you recognized with touch.

He’d create everything to your liking, never feeling more useful and loved in his entire life. He loved the look on your face when he’d make something outrageous for you to look at, colorful and fun. The only negative part about your relationship was when you needed to wake up.

Bo Sinclair

Bo wouldn’t be loving or understanding about the fact you’re blind. He’d probably make light hearted jokes about it or tease you by tossing things beside you sometimes, making you jump or think he was near you when he wasn’t.

He’d give you the task of being Vincent’s assistant, which you liked, because even though Vincent didn’t talk, he was gentle and would always show you kindness and gratitude for helping him with his work.

Even though Bo gave you a hard time, when push came to shove, he was protecting you like his life depended on it, which he felt like it did. If you were cooking snd burnt/cut yourself, he’d run to your aid, playing nurse and doctoring you up before scolding you about doing dangerous things in your own.

He loved to kiss you when you didn’t know he was around. He’d sneak up on you and slap a big sloppy kiss into your lips or your cheek, his heart growing a few sizes at the way you giggled and wiped your cheek.

[changingplumbob]

Villareal: Chapter 6, Part 5

Joey's night concludes and preparation for family brunch begins.

CW: Moderate sim spice. Content Warning Guide

Luna (mummy) and Devin (mama) use some German and Italian. Bambino/s (Italian) Male child/children Buongiorno (Italian) Good morning Caro (Italian) Dear Nonna/Nonno (Italian) Grandfather/Grandmother Piccolo (Italian) Little one Zia/Zio (Italian) Aunt/Uncle

Joey wakes up with a start. He’s lying on his bedroom floor?

Marianna: Are you okay?

Joey: Marianna? What happened? We were just…

Joey pushes himself up feeling very confused. He was just at the nightclub. He’s used to the quickness of loading screens but this was something different. His genius mind is telling him to remain calm and gather facts but his paranoid trait is panicking.

Marianna: See I’ve never actually teleported someone with me before, I think I had the calibration off so you kind of passed out

Joey: Passed out? Yeah but- did you say teleport?

Marianna: Yes, I hope you’re okay. I was just reading your mind and I saw your photos and I hoped you might want one of real me

Joey: Reading... my... mind?

Marianna: It’s a thing we can do

Joey: Who is we?

Marianna: Oh you know… aliens

Joey is taken aback. Aliens? He always knew they were real but the research on their abilities was spotty at best. Unsurprisingly they didn’t exactly offer themselves up for tests. And he’d just…

Joey: Oh please tell me I’m not pregnant. I can’t be pregnant

Marianna: What? No! I’m not one of those ones. I was left in a carrier myself, I wouldn’t do that to a kid. I just… I know I’m a bit older than the other women in the photos…

She looks at the wall and folds in on herself a bit.

Joey: You’re saying… you read my mind, and know that me and the watcher need to keep track of my numbers with photos… and you teleported us here… because you were nervous that I wouldn’t want a photo of you

Marianna: I thought… you seemed to enjoy our time together so… you might want a photo of what I actually look like

Joey: I’ve never seen an alien before, at least not that I know of. But if you felt enough of a connection when we were woohooing, I’d be honoured to see the real you

Marianna: *smiling* Don’t freak out

Joey tries his best to keep his face straight as Marianna stretches. She changes from the human outfit into a cozy sleepwear number in alien form. It happened so fast Joey isn’t sure he actually saw the change happen. He has so many questions! But he has to remember this is stressful for her to.

Joey: You look amazing. Your eyes are spectacular. Your skin… you were glowing earlier right?

Marianna: *giggles* yes. When our emotions get strong it can be hard to hide and you just… made me feel all kinds of things

Joey: Likewise

He grabs his camera out and gets a shot of her to join the others.

Joey: I’m glad you didn’t mind read about my photos and decide to teleport me into an incinerator

Marianna: *giggles* No! Your mind… You make love but you respect the ones you’re with. Not incinerator worthy

Joey smiles and moves towards her, taking one of her hands and sliding her closer to him.

Joey: I don’t suppose you in any way used your alien powers on the dating app

Marianna: *blushing* Maybe. But I swear I didn’t coerce you in person, and I double checked your mind before-

Joey cuts her off with a kiss. She puts her arms around his neck and relaxes into him. She may not have been his typical type but seeing her, talking to her, everything that happened in that nightclub was what he wanted. Heck, he was glad she thought him worth messing with an app for.

Marianna: Why

Joey: Hmm?

Marianna: Why are you glad about that

Joey: Oh, mind reading. I guess I’m flattered my profile was attractive enough to warrant your effort. Can I give you a proper thanks?

Marianna: You did in the club

Joey: *whispers* Read my mind. You’ll see I can do better if you'd like to go again

Smiling Marianna uncurls herself from him and lets him unbutton her shirt and slide her pants off.

Joey: How did you change outfits anyway

Marianna: Oh that outfit was connected to my disguise. Remove the disguise and I can be wearing something else entirely

On his knees now Joey looks up at her.

Joey: Call me biased but I think you look breathtaking wearing nothing at all

Before she can reply Joey pulls her close and lets his mouth go to work. He is intrigued with the noises she makes. He thought he’d heard most of what women could sound like but the alien tone of her voice was something new. When she seems wet enough he stands up and she helps him out of his clothes. He thinks about what they could do next…

Marianna: The third option sounds good

Joey: *laughs* Try to stop reading my mind and just be in the moment

Joey hadn’t thought he’d be interested in woohoo with an alien but his time with Marianna was making him rethink his stance. A woman is a woman after all, and Marianna certainly had experience. He tried to hold out but with those alien vocals she got him to release even quicker than the last time.

Marianna: *softly* don’t worry, I take it as a compliment

Giving him a final kiss Marianna begins to redress while Joey cleans up. Unfortunately his paranoid brain still hasn’t settled down.

Marianna: Joey, I haven’t impregnated you. Relax

Joey: Is it okay if I like, tell people…

Marianna: *laughs* You’ll have a photo of me on your wall, I’m fairly sure they’ll believe you woohoo’d an alien

Joey walks her to the front door and watches her go, again somehow missing her changing back into her human disguise even though he never took his eyes off her. Pondering the events of the night he locks up and heads to bed, hoping he’ll be able to get enough sleep to put in an appearance at family brunch.

The sun rises alongside Luna and Devin. In the room next to theirs two toddlers yawn and greet the day, racing each other to their potties.

While Luna tackles some chores that need doing Devin and Joey pull together to prepare brunch. While Joey works on bagels Devin sorts out place settings.

Devin: Did you have a good night

Joey: I did! I woohoo’d an alien

Devin: *dubiously* How much did you drink

Joey: I’m serious! I’ll show you the photo later

Devin: It’s not an in action shot is it? Because I love you but there are limits

Joey: No! But it’s got me thinking, there must be other occults out there

Devin: Focus on the *Joey spills stuff* food…

Joey: Don’t panic, I’ll clean it up

Devin: I’ll give you a hand when I’m finished this

Joey: But like I was saying, since aliens do exist on earth some of the other stories must be true

Devin: What stories? Some of us spent our time learning Shakespeare not becoming cryptozoologists

Joey: I wouldn’t woohoo bigfoot! Unless you know bigfoot had a hot human woman form... But if I could land a mermaid, a vampire and say… a werewolf, then I could be the most experienced sim in game! Like how many other sims could claim that achievement?

Devin: Dream big little brother. How’s your game coming

Joey: Slowly, I’ve put the beta out and I’m waiting for reports from play testers. Should be ready for a final polish after brunch though

Devin: If you need someone who doesn’t understand video games to test I’m happy to help

Joey: *laughs* That’s not a terrible idea sis

Devin: It’s my idea, of course it’s great

The sound of wobbly footsteps can be heard in the corridor, the twins are up.

Joey: Uh oh, here comes trouble

Devin: Buongiorno bambinos! Did you not feel like sleeping in

Alfred: No mama. We be awake for family

Rilian: Yes. Nonno and Nonna coming?

Devin: Absolutely. Did you two get dressed all by yourselves

The twins beam and chatter over each other excitedly before sitting down by the counters and spending time on their tablets.

Devin: That’s the table set. I’ve pushed the high chairs into the hall so we can all fit. Alfred, Rilian, are you okay with sitting on the bench?

Twins: *too engrossed in screens to reply*

Devin: I’ll take that as yes. Are your bagels finished yet

Joey: Not just yet. Trust the process, they’ll be good

Devin walks over to her sons hoping that they’ll listen more the closer she is to them.

Devin: Any requests for breakfast?

Alfred: Cereal!

Devin: Caro we have cereal when we don’t have guests. On Sundays we get nice breakfasts. Rilian?

But Devin’s picky eater is ignoring the question about food.

Devin: Mama could make… omelettes, French toast, pancakes-

Alfred: Yes!

Devin: Pancakes, si? Oh looks like Zio Joey has finished making bagels for us. What do we say?

Alfred: Thank you Zio Joey

Rilian: Thanks Zio

Devin: That’s my bambinos. Mama is so proud of you remembering your manners

Rilian: Mama tell Mummy?

Devin: Si, I will tell Mummy

Joey: When did this stereo break? I swear it was working when I left last night

Devin: I figured you’d probably be the best one to fix it

Joey: *starts fixing* And what if I get electrocuted?

Devin: You know tech, you’ll be fine

Rilian: Go Zio Joey!

Alfred: Zio can do!

Joey: I suppose. Gosh I hope Deanna is getting better at her robots, she got fried last time I visited

Devin: She enjoys tinkering, I guess some zaps are the price to pay. Okay bambinos, mama’s going to make the pancakes

Previous ... Next

[starcrossedxwriter]

Falling Apart Part 2 (MBJ x Famous Black OC)

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy loss

A/n: I'm really excited about this one. Enjoy!

The silence of Michael’s drive home was broken by the chimes of FaceTime. He immediately answered it as his mom’s name passed across the screen. 

“Hey ma, what’s up?” 

“Nothing. I just wanted to see how you and Charlie were doing?” 

Michael could not stop the humorless chuckle that escaped his lips. He was not sure how to tell his mother that they were doing terribly. It had been a week since their fight on set and all the couple knew was a coldness, tension everyone around them could feel and avoided like the plague. They usually had great communication but once one of them put their walls up, their perfectly running machine ground to a screeching halt. It was rare when it happened but when it did, it was bad. 

They only interacted on set when needed, the pair barely speaking unless it was to discuss work. Even right now, he had been driving around aimlessly, avoiding the icy winter that plagued his home. He knew he should not be avoiding Charlotte but until he had a better plan or she was willing to open up, he did not have the energy to be ignored for hours on end every single day. He now knew how she felt when he pushed her away last year, however, his reasoning was far less righteous. 

He tried to break the tension every once in a while, asking her how she was feeling and checking in when she seemed like she was in pain or upset. But his efforts only resulted in short one word answers. Occasionally, he could hear soft sobbing while she was in the shower or from the couch in the dead of the night. But when he tried to comfort her the first time, she just pretended he had misheard and refused to discuss it. From then on, he just gave her her space. He would just lay there and listen, fighting the urge to see about her. That was the hardest part. He was wholly unaccustomed to her rejecting him in that way. He loved being her soft place to land, her comfort and safety, her arms to retreat to when she was struggling. 

But she would not yield, refusing to show him any vulnerability or emotion. Vulnerability had always required minimal coaxing and prying from Charlotte but it had been so long since she shut him out to this degree, since she refused to let him help her. However, he knew only time and space would break down her walls. So as hard as it was, he gave her that, hoping time would ease her pain and soften her resolve.

“It’s… it’s not great. We’re both takin’ it hard.” 

“How are you?” 

He let out a low whistle and shook his head. He kept his eyes trained on the road, avoiding his mom’s expectant and loving eyes. He was a mama’s boy at heart, his mother always knew how to cut through the layers to get to the heart of whatever ailed him. And right now, he needed that.

The real answer, not ok, felt totally insufficient. Fatherhood had always been a dream of his, something he yearned for. Finding out Charlotte was pregnant had been one of the happiest moments of his life to date. In his mind, he saw their child and their future family as clear as a movie playing out in front of him. They had only known for a few short weeks but they had started to plan, wrapping up so much excitement and hope into that precious growing life. And in an instant, it was gone. No rhyme or reason, washed away as quickly and randomly as a sandcastle on the beach. And Michael had been fortunate not to experience a great deal of grief in his life but this pain felt unbearable. 

And those quiet moments when Charlotte was asleep were his only opportunities to mourn this person they never got to meet. When he was not quietly mourning, he could only feel concern and worry for his wife, who was not processing her own grief at all..  

“I dunno, ma. J-just worried about Els.” 

His mom shook her head. “I didn’t ask about Charlie. I’m a mother, I know how she’s doing. I asked how you are doing.” 

The back of his hand wiped a falling tear. “I don’t know… I’m mad, I’m disappointed, I’m sad. And I know we can try again but seeing how Els is doing… I dunno if I even want to. I don’t think I can watch her go through this again.”

The call fell silent for a moment, his mother mulling over his words on the other end of the call. Michael watched as cars whipped through the intersection he was stopped at as he waited for her to say something, to impart her usual maternal wisdom that he still sought out and desperately needed at his old age. 

“Have you two talked about any of it yet? Your feelings and hers?” 

“She doesn’t want to talk to me, ma. I’ve tried and I’ve tried but she just acts like I’m not even there. She’s just throwing herself into work like nothing happened. It feels like she’s angry with me or somethin’…” 

“She isn’t mad at you, Bakari… she’s mad at herself.”

“Why would you think that? She didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Donna shrugged, leaning back in the rocking chair Michael bought for their backyard. “Just a woman’s intuition. I just see a lot of myself in her. I remember when I first married your dad. I used to believe I didn’t deserve him so I tried to be perfect. The perfect mom and wife, felt like I could never mess up or fall down or be vulnerable. You kids were damn near out of the house before I let that go. When I first met Charlie, I saw the same thing in her. A woman madly in love with someone she did not feel she deserved.”

Michael sighed, his hand gripping the steering wheel in frustration. “I know she felt that when we first got together but it’s been 3 years, we’re married now. And been through too much for her to still believe that.”

“I know yall are basically an old married couple but three years isn’t a long time when stacked against decades of insecurity, Michael. She may not feel it all the time but doubts linger like weeds. You can pull ‘em up and they’ll be gone for a while but they’ll just grow back eventually. You’ve been working for most of your life and you still doubt yourself, right? It’s the same thing. And I imagine this only amplified those doubts for her. So it’s hard to be vulnerable or share her feelings with you when every voice in her head is shouting at her that she failed you. So she pushes you away because that’s less painful than going to you and you affirming those feelings.” 

Michael put the car in park as he pulled into his parking spot. 

“I would never. You know how much I love and adore her, ma. I-I know we had plans and everything but I’d give every last one up for her. She’s it… she’s everything. I can imagine life without kids but I can’t imagine one without her.” 

“I know. And Charlotte knows that too. Just give her time. Take it from me, this ironclad facade always shatters at some point. You just need to be there to help put the pieces back together when it does.” 

“Always.” 

“You’re a good boy,” she offered. “Always have been. And a good husband. She knows how much you love her. But the pain she feels is unbearable and that girl… she’s been through so much and her default seems to be to go at it alone. I think she is just struggling to work through that. Just give her time and space, like she did for you.”

He nodded. “I hear you, ma. Well, I just pulled up to the apartment so let me go inside and see about my girl. I’ll call you tomorrow, aight? Tell pops I said what’s up.” 

“Sounds good, love you.” 

“Love you too.” 

His head fell back onto the headrest as his mother’s words cycled through his head. He had thought her statement about being a failure was just a reaction in the heat of an argument. He could not believe she actually thought that to be true. He knew he should listen to his mother and give her space but he couldn’t let another evening go by like this. He could not do anything to end their grief, only time could do that. But he would not let her sit with feelings of failure and disappointment longer than she needed to. So he was resolved as he entered the house to get her to talk to him, to push if needed until she gave him something… anything. 

“Hey,” he offered as he walked into the house, Charlotte sitting on the couch with her notebook and script. 

“Hey.” Her eyes did not even leave her paper to truly acknowledge him. She just continued flipping through her script, scribbling in the margins. 

He threw his bag down by the entryway, his keys clanging lightly against the counter as he tossed them. He stood by the counter to study her for a moment, examining the pout on her face, the furrow in her brow, the redness and puffiness in her eyes. She had been crying. He scratched the back of his head for a moment before walking over to sit in the armchair by the couch. 

“You good with take out tonight?” He asked.

“Whatever you want,” she answered, still not fully acknowledging him or his presence. 

He watched her for a few moments before deciding to break the ice. “The perpetual winter around here is getting a bit hard to deal with, babe.” 

She sighed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Michael.” 

He scoffed and shook his head. “You don’t know what I’m talkin’ bout? How about the fact that you don’t talk to me, you don’t touch me. You don’t let me touch you -” 

“Hmm… that sounds super familiar. Wonder where I’ve heard that before?” She muttered, cutting him off. The dig was below the belt and went against their usual rule of not bringing up past issues that they resolved in new arguments. However, the walls were too high for her to recognize that.

Michael’s eyes narrowed as he caught her statement. “Gonna ignore that cause you’re hurting but bringing up old shit doesn’t change what’s happening right now. You cry in the shower and out here at night and don’t let me comfort you. You act like I’m not even here. We can’t keep going like this. You need to talk to me.”

She tossed her notebook to the side in annoyance, her legs swinging off the couch. She slid them into her slippers and tried to disappear to their bedroom, her agitation only growing as she heard him follow behind her. She knew he would not stop, he had that look in his eye. Persistence. He would continue pushing until she broke down. And she was not ready to, not yet.  

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She grabbed the dry cleaning she had discarded on their bed earlier, hoping the act of hanging up their clothes would distract her and help her maintain this nonchalant facade. 

“We lost a baby, Charlotte. That isn’t nothing.” 

“You know, you don’t need to fucking remind me!” She snapped as she walked into their closet. “I was there. I was the one bleeding and in agony for fucking days because of it.” She let out a deep shaky sigh and turned away from him to calm herself. She knew her tone was reaching dangerous levels and was not how she and her husband spoke to each other. “So I’m well aware of what happened. But talking about it isn’t gonna change it o-or fix it so there’s n-no point. The doctor said we can try again as soon as I have my next cycle. And we will, I’ll get pregnant again and give you a baby. I-I j-just want to forget a-about it and try again. That’s it. End of discussion.” 

“I don’t wanna just try again like you’re a baby factory and pretend like this didn’t happen. It’s fuckin’ sad and it’s ok to be sad and wallow in it for a minute, to grieve something we both wanted and lost. And you pushing me away like this only makes it harder. Just talk to me, Charlotte. Please.” 

Her eyes clenched shut and her hands stilled, her task of putting away clothes short lived and futile. All the feelings she had desperately tried to suppress came flooding back. This time, they were stronger, louder, and harsher. She had found safety in the eye of this particular tornado, where the harsh winds and storm could not affect her. She knew she could not stay there forever and eventually, she would have to feel everything. But she was not ready yet. However, her husband’s pushing and meddling was not giving her much of an option. The winds and rain whipped against her and pulled her deeper and deeper into the depths of the storm and she just felt like she would get blown away if she gave in.

“W-what do you want me to say??” She let out an exasperated sigh. “Y-You want me to apologize a-again? I-I’m sorry! I’m s-sorry my body is failing you a-and failing us and I’m failing you a-and can’t give you t-this. I’m s-sorry,” she sniffled, shaking her head as she made her way to their bed to sit down. “A-and I'll probably feel s-sorry a-and guilty for putting you t-through this for the rest of my life or until I give you another baby. So that’s what I’m focused on. Now. can we p-please just leave it alone?” 

Her voice cracked as her head fell into her hands. She could not look him, she hadn’t looked him in the eye fully since the hospital. Every day since had been a fight, a fight not to acknowledge the true extent of this agony. Charlotte had felt a lot of pain in her life, but this particular one hit her soul differently. And any acknowledgement of that would make her pain real, her shame and guilt real. She had tried but she could not even accept Michael’s comfort and his care because doing so would be acknowledging she had failed him. Instead, she just wanted to be strong so she could fix it and undo what happened. There was no room to buckle or break, no room to wallow. 

Michael approached the bed and crouched down in front of her. His hands rested on the sides of her bare thighs, rubbing them lightly. This was the most he had touched her in a week, he had missed it. 

“Baby… I don’t need or want an apology and I don’t accept it. You have nothing to be sorry for. I just want you to be ok and to let me in. I know this shit is hard and it hurts like hell but whatever you’re feeling is safe with me. You’re safe with me, always. Fall and I’ll always catch you. Every single time.” 

His calloused hands wiped away a falling tear. She knew his words were true. If there was one thing Bakari had always been, it was constant and unwavering. Everything God and life threw at Charlotte, him, or their relationship, he stood like a tree, unmovable and sturdy. To this day, no storm, no matter its strength, had moved him an inch. He never failed in protecting her and holding her up, even when he was struggling himself. But that persistent voice of doubt in her head, that voice that still criticized whether she truly deserved someone so loving, was often louder than all the examples of his unwavering love for her. That voice made her believe this was finally the storm that moved him and took him away from her. 

“I can’t…” her voice was faint like a small child. He could tell she wanted to fall apart so badly but was holding the unraveling strings together with hope and prayer that he would leave her be. But he wouldn’t, not like this. 

“Yes, you can.” 

“No… I lost our b-baby,” her voice broke. “It’s a-all my fault. You were so e-excited a-and… I know y-you hate me. I hate myself. I can’t even look at you.” 

He could barely make out the last couple of words, her sobs making them incoherent. He understood enough though. 

“Els… honeybee, I could never hate you. This isn’t your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. There’s no reason or cause and nothing we could’ve done differently.” 

Even as he spoke and offered words Charlotte had heard from the doctor himself, she did not believe him. “Y-You told me to slow down and I d-didn’t. Y-You told me to take m-more breaks a-and I didn’t. A-and I’m j-just t-terrified t-” she paused. “W-what if th-this means I c-can’t-” her voice broke as she tried to voice one of the fears that plagued her day in and day out. It was difficult to even put it to words. “T-this is supposed to be e-easy a-and natural and maybe t-this means I can’t do it? A-and then y-you’ll leave m-me a-and I w-wouldn’t even b-be able to blame y-you.”

He hung his head.“Look, maybe we could’ve done something different but maybe you could’ve done everything I asked and we would’ve still ended up here. There’s no way to know and… it doesn’t matter. It’s no one’s fault. You took the best care of yourself that you could, it just… God had other plans. And it’s ok to be sad about that but it’s not ok to torture yourself for something no one could control. And I don’t know how many ways I gotta tell you that you’re stuck with me, girl. I’m not going anywhere ever.” He shook her legs, causing her to let out a watery giggle. 

The back of her hand rubbed against her nose as she laughed, her eyes finally meeting his. 

“I j-just want to try again, Bakari. I j-just want to move on and try again so I-I can stop feeling l-like I f-fucked everything up. It just hurts so m-much… I w-was so excited. A-and I’m j-just scared I’m gonna lose you if I d-don’t fix it. A-and it’s j-just all too much a-and eating me alive.” 

He hated how lowly she felt of herself. Charlotte’s doubts and insecurities had waned over the years, thankfully. So much so, he had thought she had put all that to rest. But his mother was right, the doubt that his love was conditional and fickle still lingered, she just chose to live with it silently. 

He sat next to her on the bed, his fingers interlacing with hers.

“I want to be a dad, that’s true. Wanted that my whole life. But you know what I want more than anything else? You.” His finger lifted her chin so she was looking him in his eyes again. “You are my Sun, my universe doesn’t operate, revolve, or function without you. And as long as I got you, I have no doubts that we can figure out the rest. I would give up every plan for you in a heartbeat. You gotta know that by now. You can’t fail me and your body isn’t failing you. It’s just gonna take time and the good thing is, we got all the time in the world.” He kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to be ready and healthy again. You don’t gotta pretend it didn’t happen or try to get pregnant tomorrow to keep me around. The only plan that’ll never change is that I’m gonna spend every day of my life loving you. It’s us till the end of the line, baby. You gotta start believing that though. I love you with everything I got and it kills me that you don’t see it,” he admitted. 

She nodded, letting out a deep sigh as if his words had lifted 10 pounds off her shoulders. “I know… you l-love me. Y-You’ve j-just always b-been so perfect… s-still hard to not feel like…” she scratched her head. “Sometimes I j-just worry I’m not enough f-for you. And w-when this happened, I j-just thought you’d finally r-realize it too. I’m s-sorry for that. And h-how awful I’ve been to you,” she whispered. “I g-guess I thought if I let you in a-and admitted I wasn’t ok, it’d make it all real a-and you’d just affirm everything I thought. I w-was wrong and I’m sorry.” 

He smiled. “That’s an apology I’ll gladly accept. And it's ok, I knew you were hurting.” 

She shook her head. “It’s not ok b-but I’m glad you c-can forgive me. I w-was so wrapped up in my own pain, I ignored yours. I know t-this has been painful for y-you too.” 

He pulled her into a hug, Charlotte soaking up the warmth she had denied herself for too long. 

“It is but we’ll get through it together. Like we always do.” 

The ice slowly but surely melted throughout the Jordan household as the evening progressed. Though it had been hard, she was thankful Michael pushed and prodded, thankful neither of them could be without the other for too long. 

By the time they laid down, Charlotte felt better than she had since the miscarriage emotionally. It had been such a relief to release those feelings into the space. Scary but Michael did what he always did, he affirmed and assured her. She also knew that, if they were going to take this next step, she had to start to believe she deserved this life and him. He proved time and time again that he was not going anywhere. She knew she needed to start believing that. 

Charlotte laid in his arms, silence filling their bedroom. However, neither of them were asleep, she just stared at the wall across from their bed and listened to the soft thumps of his heart, a soothing drumbeat in her ear. 

“I think you are gonna be a great dad,” she whispered, his grip tightening around her as if to pull her closer to him, if that were possible. “You’d know exactly how to comfort them and rock them to sleep. I… had a feeling it was a girl? Though I suppose that was wishful thinking a-and I know you shouldn’t have a preference. I would’ve been just as happy with a boy. But I dunno. Since I didn’t really have a mom, I think I’d love to do all the things I missed with her? I wrote a song for her and everything… I was gonna sing it to her when I held her at all the ungodly hours she would have us up. Because how could s-she not be a night owl with restless energy like us?”

“She definitely would… poor girl doesn’t stand a chance of a solid sleeping schedule with us.” They shared a laugh. “I pictured a boy,” he admitted. “But I’d also be happy with either, I think. I know, when we have one, our daughter will have me wrapped around her finger from before she’s born,” he kissed her on the top of her head. “Just like her mama. I won’t stand a chance.” 

She chuckled. “It’ll be your fault. Every woman in your life is spoiled. She’ll be no different.” 

Her fingernails traveled along his skin, raking up and down lightly as they laid. 

“This… it just feels relentless, Bakari,” she whispered. “I think about it all day and all night. I thought it would hurt less as time went on but it feels like I’ll never get past it.” 

“Take your time, love. We don’t gotta figure it out right now. We just take it day by day… with each other. And eventually, we’ll be ready to try again and we’ll do all the stuff we planned.” 

Charlotte pushed herself into a seated position to face him. “I know we need time but I do want to try again soon… if you’re up for it? And I-I’m not just saying that out of some misguided fear of losing you. Truly. I know it’ll take time to get there. But those three weeks when I was pregnant made me so happy. Knowing I w-was gonna be a mom and have your child made me so happy. I want that for us. A-and I think we are ready for it. Maybe when we wrap here and go home, we can talk about it then? See if we’re ready to try again?”

“You sure?” His hand cupped her cheek to hold her gaze to his.

“Yea… we’ve never been the couple to waste the time we have together. I don’t want to wait to start our family either.” 

He nodded, pulling her in for a soft kiss. “I love that plan.”

***

November 2018

Charlotte braced herself over the sink in the bathroom, her body feeling exhausted and faint. 

“Seriously??” she glanced at herself in the mirror, her eyes going down to her stomach. “You’re choosing right now for this?? Right now?” she argued with her stomach. She knew if anyone else saw her she would look like a lunatic but she did not care. “I can’t go through this with you right now. We got another two hours of press and then a press conference.” 

Charlotte hated press junket days and they were even harder this time around while she hid the biggest secret of her life from her husband and costar. She had done a good job thus far, passing off her symptoms as ones of exhaustion. Michael did not think to question it given their four-week international press tour for Creed II had been exhausting for both of them. London was their last stop before Michael and Charlotte jetted out for vacation to the South of France for two weeks. It was a very late one-year anniversary gift from Michael but they had both been so busy, it was the only time they could make it work. However, her entire surprise hinged on making it to their private villa without Michael finding out. She wanted to tell him and wanted it to be special.  

She took a few deep breaths, unsurprised to hear Michael’s voice outside the bathroom. 

“You good, babe? We gotta get started in a few.” 

“Coming!” she offered, forcing her tone to remain bright and light. She prayed he was too distracted and exhausted himself to notice the inauthenticity in it. It was just two more days, she reminded herself. One last day of press, the premiere the next day and then they were on a series of flights to paradise. She straightened her shoulders, pushing the lightheadedness she felt away to walk outside. 

Michael still waited for her, kissing her on the cheek as she stepped outside. 

“You good?” he asked again as he took her hand. 

Charlotte was grateful, giving her a discreet way to lean some of her weight into his, each step felt like she was pushing through a fog. 

Michael helped her up into her chair for their next set of interviews. Though she knew she was low energy, she managed to get through them all. All two hours worth. She was proud of herself for pushing through it. However, when Michael went to help her out of her seat, her body loudly protested that it could not keep up her facade a second longer. 

“Whoa,” she muttered, gently falling back into her seat as a wave of dizziness hit her. She felt like someone had put the entire room on a rotating stage.  

“What’s wrong?” Michael asked immediately, his eyes frantically searching her body and face for an apparent injury. 

“N-Nothing, nothing. J-Just got lightheaded. J-just give me a sec.” 

Michael eyed her suspiciously. It was no secret his wife pushed her body to its physical limit, he had always known that about her. And though he had made her promise after New York that she would never hide illnesses or injuries from him again, he knew her default setting was to deal with things alone and not worry him. Immediately, his mind ran through the last few weeks. She had been more tired and exhausted, small complaints of not feeling well but pushed it off as exhaustion from the promo tour. But he had seen Charlotte through many a promo tour and she never seemed this exhausted before. 

“You sure? Seems like somethin’ else is wrong?” 

She huffed. She hated lying but she also refused to tell him here. She also was squarely using all of her energy and willpower not to pass out in front of him. 

“Yea, I’m s-sure. I’m fine. L-Let’s go.” She pushed herself out of her seat without his help, making it a few steps before she had to stop. 

She heard Michael speaking, felt his hand on the small of her back, but it sounded like his voice was a whisper in a long wind tunnel. She could not even form a response before everything faded to black and she collapsed. 

***

“The EMTs are coming, Mike, calm down.” 

“Fuck you mean calm down?? How the fuck am I supposed to calm down right now?” 

Their arguing came into sharper focus as Charlotte returned to consciousness. It was slow, each sense coming back to her one by one. She felt Michael’s touch and the hard floor beneath her first, his arms tightly cocooning her into his hard chest. Then his voice and Steven’s, though their words were delayed in settling into her brain. Then she opened her eyes, her vision blurry for a moment before clarity set in.

“M-Michael…” her voice was faint but it stole his attention away from angrily checking on the ETA of the EMTs every 30 seconds. 

“C-Charlotte!” He let out a strangled sigh of relief, the tone filled with fear, a sound she had only heard once before in their entire relationship. He sounded scared… something she was not used to. “You’re ok. You’re ok.” He kept repeating, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself more than her. 

“W-what happened?” She instinctively tried to sit up, Michael immediately tightening his grip around her to keep her against his chest. 

“Relax. You just fainted. You’re ok, just rest for a minute.” 

She glanced around to find half the room, the last journalist and their crew, and several cast members standing over her, concerned looks on all of their faces. Embarrassment spread quickly through her body like a wildfire.  

“I-I’m so s-sorry, yall. I j-just need a minute a-and I’ll be ready for the press conference.” 

You would have thought she sprung several heads or turned into a mutant the way everyone’s eyes bugged out of her head. 

“Fuck no, you’re going back to the hotel, Charlotte,” Michael immediately pipped up, his tone leaving little room for debate or conversation from anyone. 

“W-what?? N-” she started to say but he immediately cut her off. 

“You go to the hotel or you go to the hospital. Your choice.” She knew he meant it, there was no way to get around his instructions this time.  

She rolled her eyes, “Pretty shitty choices,” she muttered under her breath. “Fine. Hotel… I-I’m really sorry, y’all.” 

Everyone, of course, assured her she had no reason to apologize and left her and Michael alone. She tapped his arm, letting him know she was ready to get up. While her body could’ve allowed her to lay there for hours, the bed in their hotel would be far more comfortable. She felt bad as she watched him pack up her stuff and put her in the car, his entire body filled with tension and fear. Michael had them push back the start of the press conference so he could ensure she got into their car and refused to start the press conference until she called him to tell him she made it into their room safely.

She rested for a while once she got back to their suite but then pulled the gift she hid amongst her stuff out of her bag. It had been hard to sneak it around but she managed. Though she had a grand plan for telling him, she could tell her fainting earlier scared him. And she did not want him worrying about whether something was truly wrong when she knew what was going on. And she knew he would not accept “everything’s fine,” anymore. 

She laid on the couch, tucked under the comforter from the bed as she watched tv, waiting for him to get back. She was half asleep again when she heard their door open. 

“Hey baby,” she whispered, rubbing her eyes as she went to get up. 

“No, no, don’t get up. How are you feeling?” he asked, his hand cradling her head as he examined her. 

“I’m ok… promise.” She knew he did not believe her, could tell her words did nothing to ease the concern in his eyes, the fear she felt in every cautious touch. 

“Did you faint anymore or feel sick?” 

She shook her head. “Just a bit dizzy but it’s better since I came home.” 

He nodded, his hand anxiously gripping the meat of her thigh.

“I-I’m gonna go look up doctors for you, aight? Wanna get you checked out before we go on vacation…” 

Charlotte merely nodded, deciding not to fight him on it and just tell him the truth. There goes my grand plans and surprises, she huffed to herself. 

“Ummm can you run into the room and grab the box off the bed for me, please?” 

Michael seemed almost reluctant to allow her out of his sight but he jogged across their suite and into their room and back, this time the gift box tucked under his arm.

“Who’s this for?” 

“Open it." At his raised eyebrow, she smiled, “You aren’t the only one with tricks and surprises up your sleeve.” 

She watched with bated breath as he opened the box.

“What’s this?” 

His face scrunched up in confusion at the black baby onesie in front of him. It was folded neatly, only the very top visible. It had a gold trim around the neck making it a baby-size exact replica of Michael’s costume in the movie. 

“What does it look like?” 

“I mean it’s a baby onesie but it kinda looks like the Golden Jaguar habit from the movie,” he muttered. “But who’s it for?”

Charlotte rolled her eyes and laughed, shocked that he hadn’t caught on yet. Her sweet husband… so good at giving surprises but couldn’t spot one a mile away for himself. 

“Why don’t you unfold it and see?” 

His hands grabbed the fabric, laying it out on the coffee table, the legs of the onesie dangling off the edge. His eyes grew wide as he took in the words. 

My dad’s favorite partner in crime 

She turned to him, unsure of what his silence meant. “I found out a couple weeks ago. I know… after New York we said no more secrets and no more hiding important information,” she rushed out. “But I’m hoping you can forgive me in this case? I wanted to tell you in a special way a-and had to get it made. It’s crazy how much Black Panther merch there is and there is no market for parents dressing their babies up like the most handsome homicidal assassin I’ve ever seen? Super annoying a-and it was a whole thing with the custom shop and I had to work with Ryan to get an accurate picture of the suit and I was g-gonna surprise you on our vacation with this whole elaborate thing but you were so worried, I-”

Her words were cut short as Michael grabbed her and crashed his lips against hers, her voice dying off. She chuckled against his lips as he kissed her deeply, her arms wrapping around his neck. 

“Y-you’re serious, Els?” His eyes bored into hers as they filled with tears. 

She nodded, her eyes glossing over as well. During filming, the pair went to couple’s counseling, processing their grief together and separately so they could be emotionally ready to try again. During the summer, they decided to officially start that journey and it only took a few months for her to start to feel the early signs of pregnancy. An incognito trip to her doctor in during the first week of November before the start of the promo tour confirmed her suspicions. 

“8 weeks.” 

He wrapped her in a tight hug, his face buried into her neck. His joy was more subdued than the last time they shared this moment. But she understood, so was hers. Their miscarriage had unlocked a fear they would not have even considered having. And now, it was too real, too scary. And it took everything in her not to let the stress get to her since she found out. Her doctor told her she only had a few weeks to go before they would be in the clear. And she just held onto that. Every day was one step closer to their family and that was enough to outweigh how terrified she felt. 

“I love you so much. How do you feel? I-Is t-there is a chance of another…” 

Charlotte’s heart sagged a bit as she nodded, she could tell his did too. There was no point in lying to him but also she wanted to assure him.  

“My doctor said there’s always a chance but she doesn’t think there’s any reason we shouldn’t carry to term this time. I’ve been trying to take it easy the last few weeks a-and the fainting thing is my blood pressure apparently. I texted my OB… she gave me some tips on how to help with that. But she said it’s a normal symptom. But I’m feeling ok physically and emotionally, I’m scared,” she admitted. “But whatever happens,” she pulled him in closer to her.  “I know I have the best husband around to help me through it.” 

“Well I don’t want you stressing about it either, Els. That ain’t good for you or the baby.” His hand rested on her stomach as he looked down at her. 

“Ok, I’ll only stress 50% of the time, promise.” She acquiesced, causing him to roll his eyes. “You ok? I’m sorry about earlier. I scared you, didn’t I?” 

He blew out a low breath. “Yea, you did. F-Fucking terrified me. Seen you too many times unconscious and injured for my liking, baby.” His hand pushed the loose curls out of her face. “I need you alive and well… and honest when you’re not well.” 

She understood. “I’m sorry. Does my half-surprise sort of make up for it, at least?”

He nodded. “This is the best surprise of my life.” He wrapped her in a hug that was so tight, he lifted her out of her spot and into his lap. Charlotte immediately took to her favorite spot, straddling his legs, his hands going to rub her bare thighs. “So yes… but I got a few other ways you can make it up to me later tonight,” he whispered. 

“Mmm, you know I live to please you,” she whispered seductively in his ear. However, before they went too far down that path, she paused, her face and tone taking on a more serious one. “You’re happy, though?” She asked quietly, her fingers playing in his beard as she held his face in her hands. 

“Ecstatic. I have a good feeling about this, baby.” 

She nodded, “Me too.” They shared a sweet kiss before he lifted her off of him and wrapped her back in the blanket so she could continue to rest. “What about all the ways I gotta make it up to you?” she moaned playfully. 

“Get some rest, I’ll order you room service. So after dinner, you’re well rested so I can fuck you how I wanna without you passing out on me. You got makin’ up and celebratin’ to do, ma… gonna be a long night.” He kissed her on the forehead before sitting back on the couch, placing her feet on his lap. 

She glanced over at him and smiled as he picked up the onesie and continued to stare at it. She watched him for a few minutes as he snapped a quick picture of it before wiping a falling tear. She turned her eyes back to the tv, a grin painted on her face. It had not gone exactly how she wanted but the look on her husband’s face made it all worth it. 

Michael watched Charlotte for the rest of the night, his eyes trained on her stomach and the life he knew was growing there. He knew their lives were about to change forever but he could only thank God for giving them another chance to grow their family. And in his soul, he knew this was their moment. 

Tag List: @certifiedlesbianbaddie @bangtanxmegan @reelwriter19 @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @hi888888sworld @msniaimani @destinio1 @lynaye1993 @chaoticevilbakugo @blackerthings @pipsqueak-98 @miyuhpapayuh @passionxwrites @gopaperless @roguekiki @tythaitie

***

A/N: Thanks for reading! So this was originally supposed to be two parts only but now it's three lol and part three will follow her actual pregnancy and birth and all that good stuff! And we'll get to see MBJ being a dotting, overprotective hubby to a very pregnant Charlotte. SO excited for that lol Drop a comment and let me know what you think!

[chibibunygrl]

𝐏𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ── jjk.

synopsis: you won’t tell jungkook your birthday even though you’ve been friends for over a year and dating for nearly three months. he decides to take measures into his own hands to get you to confess.

warnings: technecially non-consensual tickles, tickles in general, teasing, gender neutral!reader

“why can’t you tell me?” jungkook pouted, a clear expression of hurt on his face. “don’t you trust me?” he flashed his doe eyes at you, and you almost gave in, before he suddenly started to ramble again — jungkook tended to do that often, but this time you were thankful for it. “wait — no, scratch that — even if you didn’t trust me, how the hell is me knowing your birthday gonna cause you any harm?”

“i just don’t want you knowing, koo,” you sighed exasperatedly. “is that so hard to comprehend?”

honestly, you didn’t want him knowing because you knew how he’d react — mad at you for not telling him sooner, but also, you knew he’d start treating you way more special than normal on your birthday, which you hated, not only because you knew it was an act, but because why did your birthday suddenly make you more special than any other day? if jungkook could make you feel like the most special person in the world on your birthday, why not put in that same effort the week before? the concept was just stupid to you.

jungkook whined, for the upteenth time, frowning at you the same way he did when he had your grandma’s chocolate chip cookies; he frowned that way whenever something tasted really good to him. which, in itself, let you know that he wasn’t actually mad, and was faking it, because that frown wasn’t what his real frown looked like. still, you couldn’t help the way his cuteness tugged at your heartstrings. honestly, you knew by the end of this, you would tell him when your birthday was... you just wanted to drag it on for a little longer.

“come on, we’ve known each other for over a year!” as he said this, jungkook squirmed — getting more comfortable as he continued his rant, readjusting his grip around your waist; in doing so, he squeezed it slightly, and you nearly jumped out of your skin, biting your lip to hide the fact he’d just accidentally tickled you. another thing jungkook had yet to find out about you was that you were ticklish; and you intended to keep that one a secret. “that’s at least one birthday that i’ve missed!”

from an outside perspective, it almost seemed jungkook didn’t notice your fidgeting — that was until he squeezed you just the slightest bit harder, a grin playing at his lips.

“tickle, tickle,” he whispered suddenly — teasingly — and you jumped as he wriggled his fingers against your sides, nervous laughter pouring from your lips as you tried to twist away from him — unfortunately, though, he was on top of you.

“jungkook!” you gasped, making him giggle at your expense, tightening his embrace as he burrowed his head into your neck, only making you laugh harder, his breath somehow tickling you as well. you scrunched up your shoulders, but to no avail — when jungkook wanted something, he was ruthless. and he was absolutely one to take advantage.

“awwww, i had no idea you were this sensitive,” jungkook cooed, adoring your little nose scrunch every time he wiggled his fingers a little faster. he’d moved his fingers to your ribs, poking and pinching, making you squeal as you tried to grab at his hands, which were one: too quick for you, and two: too hard to focus on when you were preoccupied with laughing so hard.

he sat up a little straighter, though still on top of you, and pinned your wrists at your sides. he nuzzled your tummy, using his head to push up your t-shirt — giving up, he used his teeth instead, which only served to tickle you even worse than before as you felt them grazing your bellybutton. you squirmed in his grasp and giggled involuntarily at his actions. so much for keeping it a secret.

“just tell me!” he pouted, his head on top of you, his hair unintentionally tickling your sides. he couldn’t hold back his grin for long when you burst into giggles, trying with all your might to squirm away from him, anything to look more serious — like you were genuinely annoyed at him, which you were — but it was hard to show that when you couldn’t stop smiling, and jungkook cooing at your attempt to look mad only made you feel more embarrassed.

“no!” you yelled, trying so hard to hold back your laughter. “never!” kicking his back wasn’t helping your case; jungkook explored your sides with nibbles, blowing ever so gently, only making you laugh harder, almost ready to just accept your fate. you pulled at your wrists, trying again and again to escape jungkook’s grip, but no matter what you did it only seemed to amuse him further. what a sadist. “jungko — hahaha! l-let me go!”

it was your turn to start whining and pouting, hoping that being cute would be convincing enough; but your boyfriend — just as you had done to him minutes earlier — only laughed at your attempts to persuade him.

“nuh-uh, this is too cute to pass up,” jungkook insisted, his smile growing wider as he finally gave you a break, watching you gasp for air. “you don’t have to try and act cute to convince me, you’re already adorable blushing and laughing. even if you don’t end up telling me your birthday, i’m glad i discovered another secret of yours. i can’t believe you hid this from me! all those times i asked you, and you said no every time.”

“ugh, okay, i’m ticklish,” you groaned, your eyes screwed shut as you turned your face away from him. “please stop now.”

“mmh, one more thing?” he pouted, batting his pretty eyelashes at you. “i won’t bother you anymore, i promise!” you knew he was lying, but he looked so eager, like a puppy waiting for its owner to take it on a walk. you even thought you could see a tail wagging behind him.

“quickly,” you sighed.

you can’t believe you’re doing this. you’re actually letting someone tickle you. but to be fair, that someone was jungkook. and he was your boyfriend. the best one in the world, or so you believed.

“wait — jungkook —”

well, okay, he was the best boyfriend in the world, until he inhaled forcefully and you realized, a moment too late, that he was going to blow a raspberry. he pressed his lips against your tummy and forced air out of his lungs. the vibrations made you shriek involuntarily before dissolving into childish, bubbly laughter. he even held your hips down so you couldn’t squirm away from him, that bastard.

“jungkook! jungkook, stop!” your nose scrunched involuntarily as you were forced to take the tickles, laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe and your face was starting to turn red.

jungkook cooed as he blew raspberry after raspberry until tears rolled down your cheeks. he couldn’t help it. you heard him mutter ‘too cute’ as he kept tickling and pinching up and down your sides, waist, and ribs. your laughter sounded so childish and happy to him.

you looked so cute trying to escape him as well, like a little bunny trapped under something. your glossy eyes, dimples, weak laughter, adorable smile — you seemed like an angel to him and he was scared if he stopped tickling you, you’d stop smiling and laughing.

“jungkookie... please stop!” you whined, using aegyo. if you acted cute, maybe he’d stop. at least you hoped.

“ohh, you’re so cute!” jungkook grinned adoringly at you as he squeezed your sides. “alright, baby, i’ll stop. but only ’cause I feel bad...”

you couldn’t help giggling as you caught your breath, still feeling as though he was tickling you. you pulled down your shirt which had ridden up a little since you had squirmed so much. you wiped your eyes and face and looked up at your boyfriend, who was smiling as he watched you recover with eyes full of love and affection.

“my birthday... my birthday is today, by the way...” you giggled innocently.

“excuse me?”

and the tickles started all over again. you squealed and cried uncontrollably as he paid special attention to the pudge on your stomach and thighs. looks like you were in for a long tickle session. but, it was your fault for not telling him sooner, wasn’t it?

[ninapi]

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══Tsukishima Ending ╝

Premise: When you like the guy who likes the guy that likes you, things get a little out of hand, when a triangle becomes a circle not just one gets hurt.

Word Count: 2649

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Planning a date wasn’t as difficult as Tsukki thought it would be.

At first, he spent hours doing research, he had one chance, just one. 

One chance to impress the girl of his dreams… no that doesn’t sound right, he never really dreamt of any girl, not before you.

But now? He’s never wanted anything in his life this much. He couldn’t risk blowing his only chance.

This was serious and he needed to give his best, but what do girls like? What did you like? An awful feeling of despair filled his lungs after hours of self deprecation, that was until a text message from you lit his phone screen, “Can’t wait to spend time doing something you like! Wish Saturday came sooner :(”

That was it, huh?  As simple as that?

You wanted to get to know him, the real him, the one behind the cool persona he portraits to the world. Anything would be just fine as long you were there, with him.

But what if he wasn’t what you thought he was…? What if you didn’t like his real self?

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

The weekend came by after long sleepless nights, some giddy, some extremely stressful and depressing.

While you’ve been texting constantly throughout the week, he had been unnecessarily anxious thinking you might as well be texting Yamaguchi at the same time, and that wasn’t right, he shouldn’t be thinking that way and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it, he was terrified of messing up and loosing you, he couldn’t afford to loose the only person that made him smile for real, the only person that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, the only one he would gladly spend the rest of his existence with.

He was waiting for you outside of the train station, one of his hands stuffed in his back pocket while looking up at the clouds. He was visibly nervous, paler than usual, however, you could see how much effort he had put on for this date; he was looking more than presentable, gorgeous actually, most likely even wearing a new shirt by the look of it. It was clear he was trying to impress you, and that he did.

Not only did he look like a magazine cover model, but he got there so early that even if you arrived half an hour before your scheduled time, he looked like he had been standing there for a while already. 

He was holding a single flower in his other hand, chewing on his lower lip completely oblivious of how long you’ve been just staring at him from afar, a true piece of art.

“Kei~” while ruining the moment seemed improper, you had to let him know you were there, end with his misery.

In reality he was dead scared, he knew there was a chance you wouldn’t come, that you would just text him and tell him you didn’t really want to go through with the date and just stay with Yamaguchi. Irrational fear really, as you’ve been telling him constantly how excited you were for this day to come, but he somehow thought this was some kind of cruel dream and it would end as fast as it started, leaving him feeling empty and lonely as usual.

But not this time, you actually came and oh boy did you look beautiful.

That shy smile, rosy cheeks, the way you swayed as he stared at you like looking at something out of this world.

Even if it felt like a dream, it wasn’t.

You were there, you came to spend time with him, because you wanted to, not because you had to. Because you wanted to see him, as much as he wanted to see you.

“Kei?”

“Oh..yes, hi. Sorry, I…” he had to shake his head out of the somber place it had gone to, “I’m just a little too happy you came…”

That made you smile, he was as nervous as you were, apparently even more, “Of course I came, silly man. You’re so early though! Did I make you wait too long?”

“I read somewhere, a man should never make a lady wait for him..” his face was so serious while saying this, it made you giggle. “Why thank you, milord~”

Ah….you really were all he wanted, he was certain of it now.

“For you, milady~” he handed you the flower in his hand, it wasn’t anything special, he probably picked it up along the way, but nobody had ever given you flowers, it made you emotional for some reason, “It’s beautiful, Kei…Thank you…” bringing it over to your nose, the scene seemed like taken out of a movie to Tsukishima, you were even more beautiful than the flower, sadness filled his chest as the thought of this being your first and last date came to hunt his head.

“I saw it and thought of you…” he mumbled while reaching over for your hand, “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” you didn’t pull away, in fact, you held his hand even tighter. “Pretty things, remind me of you…so I just got it for you...” he said this through gritted teeth, it was hard for him to be honest with his feelings, to let out the things that were actually going through in his head… in his heart. He didn’t want to be seen as a sap, but it was the truth and he couldn’t bare the thought of not telling you how much you’ve been invading his thoughts all this time, not when this could be the last time he can convey his feelings…

“Kei, you’re making me blush!” that smile…it was so worth it, he’d embarrass himself every day of his life just to see it…

Chuckling, he laced his fingers with yours and began walking away from the station, “Maybe that was my goal~”

“Where are we going? You haven’t told me anything about what we’re doing today.”

“Oh well, it’s not like it’s a surprise or anything, I’m not Yamaguchi…but I thought I’d take you to some of my favorite places…” 

“That is wonderful, Kei. I can’t wait! So what are we doing first? I’ve never been to this part of town before.”

The area itself was very nice, barely any people around, surrounded by gardens and fountains, a lovely place to be at for a first date and somehow unexpected that this sort of place was in the list of favorite places of a man like him.

“Well…there’s this museum I like a lot…” he went back to mumbling, he was clearly embarrassed and a bit worried that you’d think it was weird and boring like most people did when he mentioned he liked museums.

“Oh a museum! I love museums!”

“Huh? You do?” saying he wasn’t expecting that answer was an understatement, the grimace on his face wasn’t one of disgust but of surprise rather, no one had reacted that way before.

“Yes! They’re very interesting and they usually have a souvenir shop and a cafe of sorts! So fun!”

He was speechless, none of his friends ever liked going to museums, not even for school projects. Ever since he was a child he had this thing for history, learning about animals, about rocks, space, anything really, museums were so much fun to him and he’s been mocked for it all his life.

“Really? I….” he didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words, he was so thrilled, felt accepted for the first time ever, like he could tell you anything and you’d actually listen, “My dream…has always been to work in a museum…”

“That's a lovely dream, Kei. I thought your dream was being in the pro volleyball league.”

“Well, yes. I do want to be in it. But I kind of want to do both.” not even his mother knew about this, it was a decision he made recently, he wouldn’t give up any of them and was he was proud of it, but didn’t want to be told off. 

“I’m sure you’ll do great, Kei! Have you been looking for job openings already? Is this the place you’d like to work at?” You were so excited, had so many questions, all about him, you wanted to know everything about him, no matter how little the detail was, you constantly asked for his thoughts, his likes and dislikes, you truly cared and that made his heart flutter more than it should.

“Yeah, I hope I get to work here one day…I....would really like that...” the smile on his face was so soft and real, you could clearly see how much this place meant to him.

You two spent a couple of hours walking around the displays, reading the inscriptions together and sharing facts and stories while keeping each other closely, lots of hand holding and lingering touches in a mostly empty museum. Its musky smell would end up becoming your favorite smell as it became his own and engraved in your heart.

You bought matching shirts with nerdy sayings on them and he bought you a little teddy bear with glasses on who looked just like him and you kept making a fuzz out of since you entered the shop.

It was definitely the best date you’ve ever had for multiple reasons, he was in his element, happy, excited to show you around, tell you all about the facts he’s gathered thought out his lifetime, he held you so softly as if you’d break at any moment, as if reality would crash if he was too rough, as if it would all disappear if he’d let go and had to make the most out of his every second. He made you feel cherished, wanted, loved even, in ways you never felt before.

After the museum, he took you for brunch at a small cafe nearby, the old lady who ran the shop knew what his usual order was and brought it to you without even asking, as if she was his grandma. Such a warm sight, he was so relaxed and content that he looked like someone entirely different from the guy you first met, a gentle smile and crinkly eyes, almost like a child having a great day at Disneyland. Your heart was racing at the mere sight of him sipping on some juice and at that moment you knew there was no need to continue with this game of sorts.

“Kei…”

“Hm? Want some ketchup? Let me get it for you is by the counter.” your hand reached for his wrist before he could get up, a confused look in his eyes. “It’s not ketchup…”

The terrified look in his face made your heart break a little, he was still afraid you wouldn’t choose him…”It’s not ketchup I want…” his hand held yours tightly, you could feel him shaking with fear, “(Y/N)…the day isn’t over yet, please…”

“Hey…hey…it’s alright…” your sweet smile made his eyes fill with a shiny layer of tears, he wasn’t going to cry in front of you, of course he wasn’t, but he really didn’t want you to go…”I…I…we can do something you like next! Please…don’t…not yet…”

“Kei…is you I want, baby.”

“You… what….?” his eyes who were on his half eaten sandwich all this time finally met yours, a tear threatening him to come out if he dared to blink.

“You heard me. I don’t want this ‘game’ of yours anymore. I made my choice…”

“You...you did…?” 

“Yeah, I…I’ve been crushing on Yams for a while now and we do have lots of fun together, I am not going to lie to you, you’ve seen it with your own eyes…

But this week, we’ve been texting all day and talking on the phone, I..I realized I would just stare at the phone like an idiot waiting for you to get out of practice and tell me how your day had been…noticed how I’d even shower faster at night just so we could talk on the phone sooner…and today…today made everything as clear as water to me…” his grip on your hand grew tighter, hope radiating from his entire body.

“We do have a lot of fun together too, huh…?” smiling softly at you, he reached over for your face with his other hand, having the need to feel more of you, even if it was a little bit.

“Yeah…we do…” leaning onto his touch, you returned his smile, giggling a bit…”What is it, weirdo?”

“You have ketchup on your nose…” you cleaned his nose with a napkin, smiling tenderly at him.

“I totally didn’t…”

“Oh you did alright…but that just makes me like you even more…you’re so silly…” 

“God, you’re so weird…but that’s one of the reasons why I love you…” the world around you two just disappeared at that moment. 

“I love you too, Kei…well I think I do. Never been in love before…” the little giggles bubbling out of your chest made him feel like he was the only man alive, like nothing could disrupt this moment of happiness, like a soft and gentle cloud hugged you both and kept you safe from anything that could go wrong.

“Yeah…?” you just nodded at him while smiling, “This is gonna be tough, isn’t it…?" while he was incredibly happy right now, the imminent conversation with his best friend was something he wasn’t looking forward in the slightest and a reality you must deal with sooner rather than later.

“I told him already…kinda…” that surprised him, he noticed Yamaguchi had been off the past couple of days but he thought it was just because of your upcoming date, not because something had actually happened.

“What did you tell him?”

“That I didn’t think it was going to work between me and him, that I had grown attached to you and that I was sorry for hurting him…that I hoped we could still be good friends...” the sadness in your eyes matched his, it’s not like he wanted his best friend to have a double broken heart, he knew he very well could have been the one to be going into a world of despair right about now if it was the other way around.

“I never meant to steal his girl…I…I just…had never felt anything like this before…you…you became everything to me…” his words were so sincere it made it difficult for you not to cry.

“I know, baby…I know…” you were always so accepting, he should feel real bad for hurting his friend, and he did feel bad about it, but he loved you so much, he couldn’t help the intense surge of happiness within him.

“Can I…kiss you…?” the lady from the cafe could be heard giggling bashfully on the background while she closed the door to give you more privacy, making you smile. “Of course you can…”

The kiss was like nothing you’ve ever felt before, while Tsukki’s first kiss was easy to top, you had your fair share of kisses in the past, but none of them quite like this one.

His heart and soul were poured into it, felt like fresh drops of rain falling on your heated skin, like a wave of love hitting you right in the chest, like you could just not have enough of this man and his shaky tender lips. While it was short lived, it conveyed all his feelings for you at once, making you tear up in the middle of the kiss.

Hurting Yamaguchi was never in your plans and neither in his, but life tends to play dirty some times, and love can find us anywhere, even in someone else’s arms. 

And Tsukishima Kei found the love of his life knocking at his apartment door.

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Previous Chapter Masterlist

[bastetwastaken]

15. for the writing thing! Ship: puzzleshipping. They met over a dating app and it‘s their first date. Awkwardness and something funny and fluffy is very welcome if you can think of anything^^

Thanks friend <3 Oh you know I love any opportunity to write funny and fluffyness for these two ^^ I had fun with this one.

Happy holidays! I hope you enjoy the little gift <3

.........

Why did I suggest this? 

He shifted nervously where he stood, a hand rubbed his arm awkwardly as he pressed himself back against the wall. 

Of course the city was busy today. Of course the market was packed. It was the week before Christmas and he really should have expected this. 

Well actually, the truth was that he had expected this, and he thought he’d been prepared. 

In an effort to take his mind off the rapidly rising anxiety, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it to be greeted by his open messages. Atem hadn’t said anything else since he’d messaged him letting him know that he was on the train about half an hour ago. 

The non-anxious part of him wanted to laugh at the situation he found himself in. He never would have put himself down as the type to use a dating app to find a boyfriend, he would have scoffed if any of his friends had suggested that he’d find someone as…wonderful as Atem on an app like this. 

Of course, he’d had his fair share of strange messages, and he’d had to wade through a lot of unwanted attention to find this guy, but he was so glad he’d persisted. 

He’d never agreed to meet anyone from this app though, and he’d wanted to suggest somewhere public, somewhere that he wouldn’t feel so exposed and vulnerable if Atem turned out to not be the person he said he was. 

He wanted him to be who he seemed though, so fucking badly. 

Swiping his thumb across the screen, he returned to Atems profile. His stomach filled with butterflies as he swiped through the photos of him, and he buried his face into his thick scarf in an attempt to hide the smile on his face. 

He sighed happily. Obviously, the photos had attracted him to Atems profile in the first place, but not because they were the standard shit he usually saw on the app, shirtless men taking risque photos, trying to see how close they could get to nude without being banned. No, Atems photos were just…normal. 

Photos of him in an oversized jumper and jeans grinning in front of a sculpture at an art exhibition, him in a t-shirt cuddling a grey cat which was licking his face, Atem laughing happily whilst holding a huge plush Kuriboh at Kaibaland. 

He’d sent a message and had no idea how hard he’d fall for this man in only three months of talking, and now here he was. Waiting for him to show up so they could finally meet in person for the first time. 

A couple walked past him, a little too close for his liking, so he slid his phone back into his pocket and resigned himself to looking around the street awkwardly. 

He shouldn’t have gotten here so early…but he couldn’t stop himself. He was a mess of nerves, excited to finally meet this man who he felt so much for and he couldn’t wait at home any longer. 

Only now, he was stuck standing in the cold, trying to stay out of the way of the people who had decided to visit the market that day too. He looked up and drew a steady breath, the soft lights strung between leafless trees helped to calm him. 

“Yugi?” 

The voice startled him and he jumped, looking quickly to his side, eyes seeking out who had managed to sneak up on him and finding a gentle face he knew so well but had never seen in person, soft red eyes lined with perfect makeup which he’d not expected to be so vibrant in real life. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” His voice was soft and familiar. Maybe a little different from when they’d spoken on the phone, but still recognisable to him. 

He smiled, eyes quickly moving over the other man, taking in the dark clothing he wore which seemed to suit him so well. It took some real effort for him to pull his eyes back to Atems face, but when he did he was rewarded with a gentle smile which brought butterflies to his stomach. 

“Yep.” He laughed awkwardly. “Atem?” 

“Yeah.” Atem smiled shyly, eyes dropping to the ground for a moment before looking back at him. “I’m not late am I?”

Atem sounded panicked and he shook his head. 

“Oh no.” He was quick to reassure him. “I just like to get to places way earlier than I need to.” He explained. “It, um, makes me feel better about…stuff.” He waved a hand vaguely around them. 

Atem smiled softly and nodded. 

“I understand.” Atem said. “Just so you know, if stuff gets too much, we can always try another day. No pressure.” 

Atems words made him feel better immediately and he sighed in relief. He’d been right about him, Atem was genuinely a nice person and that made him feel so much better about being in such a crowded space. 

“Thank you.” He said with a smile. “But I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” 

“Okay.” Atems eyes moved down his body quickly and he blushed. “You look amazing by the way. I can’t believe we’re finally meeting in person.” 

“Me neither.” He said, a soft laugh leaving his lips as he readjusted the scarf around his neck. “You look so much better in person.” 

Atem laughed and he chewed his lip, that probably didn’t come out right….but he’d said it now. 

“I mean…” He trailed off awkwardly when Atem shook his head. 

“I know.” Atem said kindly. 

Neither of them spoke for a moment, they just looked at each other in silence and he wasn’t sure what to do now. He’d been the one to suggest this place for their first date and now he was just standing there…doing nothing. 

“So-” 

“I-” 

They began speaking at the same time then stopped, laughing softly and Yugi instantly felt more at ease. 

“You first.” Atem said with a smile. 

“I was going to ask if you’d been here before.” He said awkwardly. 

“To the city? Or to the market?” Atem asked. 

“Both?” He said. 

“Um, I’ve been to the city before, yeah. But not the market…” Atem smiled at him. “How about you?” 

“I don’t live far from here so yeah, I’ve been a few times…” He trailed off, not sure where he was going with this conversation. 

Fuck, this was so awkward. Atem was going to think he was weird and he’d leave. 

“In that case, I trust you to show me around.” Atem said happily, holding out a hand to him and smiling. “Shall we?”

He was so glad Atem seemed better at conversation than he was and he nodded quickly, looking down at Atems hand and blushing as he took it in his. 

What was wrong with him? He was a grown man. In his late twenties, with a real life job and a flat and everything. Why was he blushing like a child just because a pretty guy wanted to hold his hand? 

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat awkwardly and began walking down the street, Atem walking next to him, the hand in his warm and comforting. “I love christmas.” He said as they made their way through the steady stream of people walking around them, past the stalls set up in the middle of the street. 

“I’d guessed.” Atem teased, his arm bumping against his gently. “So do I…it’s just such a cosy time of year. You know? The cold weather, thick cosy jumpers, mulled wine if you like that kind of thing.” 

“Right?” He said happily. “You get it. I’ve always been a sucker for an excuse to stay indoors and get comfy and cosy, watch a nice movie, eat some comfort food…but I do love the social side of christmas too, like seeing family and coming to places like this.” 

“Oh, I get that.” Atem laughed. “Especially the staying in and being warm part. I don’t do well with the cold, honestly.” 

Atem laughed off the comment but he suddenly felt awful for making him come out, and on a day where the temperature had barely risen beyond freezing too. 

“I’m sorry.” He said softly. “We can go find somewhere to be inside if you like?” 

He slowed his pace and Atem stopped entirely, pulling his hand to turn him toward him. Atems smile was soft and gentle, his laugh was quiet. 

“I really don’t mind being here with you.” Atem said, his voice soft and smooth. “I’d stay out here all night if it meant spending time with you.” 

He laughed happily, the words were so cheesy but for some reason, he really didn’t mind that when they came from Atem. They didn’t feel cheap and empty from him. 

“Careful what you say.” He said. “They stay open late, you know.” 

“Good.” Atem smiled. “That means we can spend loads of time together.” Atems smile turned shy and he looked down at their hands. “If you want to, of course.” 

“I want to.” He said quickly, laughing when Atem looked back up at him. Someone walked past behind him, nudging him closer to Atem but he didn’t mind at all. 

“I’m glad.” Atem said softly, letting him step closer again when another person huffed and pushed past them. 

They should probably move. They were standing in the middle of where people were walking, so clearly in the way, but Atems chest was warm against his and a hand was resting against his waist and suddenly the next logical step was for him to lean in just a little closer and press his lips to Atems. 

He hadn’t fully registered that he’d actually moved until he felt soft warm lips against his. He would have been shocked at how forward he’d been, but Atems hand moved to the small of his back and pulled him closer and he wasn’t sure how he was meant to think about much of anything after that. 

........

Want a little christmassy/winter themed drabble? Find the list here and send me an ask ^.^ <3

[uplifted-vibes]

Chasing After Love: Advice for Women and Young Girls

Hey, lovely souls! Let’s chat about something super important today: knowing your worth in this wild world of dating. Seriously, you are not just a catch; you are the entire freaking ocean! Your value doesn’t hinge on whether some guy notices you or gives you likes on social media. You are a dazzling star, and any guy who’s lucky enough to be in your orbit should feel like he just hit the cosmic jackpot!

I know how easy it is to get caught up in chasing after someone. You start changing little things about yourself—maybe your hair, your style, or even pretending to like things you don’t—just to get his attention. I’ve been there! I remember going out of my way to fit into someone else’s idea of “cool,” thinking that was the way to win their heart. But let’s get real: the right guy is going to love you for who you are, not who you think you should be! Your quirks, your passions, your humor—own it all because that’s what makes you absolutely fabulous!

Picture this: you’re hanging out with your friends, and there’s that cute guy you’ve had your eye on. Instead of stressing about how to impress him, you just let loose and be yourself. You laugh, you share your latest obsession (hello, new favorite show or that meme that made you LOL), and if he can’t keep up? Bye, Felicia! You’re not here to dim your sparkle for anyone!

Let’s also talk about how to pour your energy into what really excites you. What lights up your world? Is it dancing, creating art, writing your heart out, or binge-watching your favorite series? When I started to focus on my passions instead of chasing after guys, I felt a shift. I was having so much fun that the right people started to show up. It’s like when you start living for yourself, suddenly people want to be a part of that journey!

Now, let’s keep it 100 about boundaries, because they are a game changer. If a guy isn’t treating you like the queen you are, don’t hesitate to step back. Imagine putting in all the effort—texting first, planning cute dates, and being there whenever he needs you. Then one day, he flakes on plans. Instead of feeling hurt, see it as your cue to refocus on you. You deserve someone who’s going to treat you like the amazing person you are! You’re not just an option; you are the whole menu!

And here’s the deal with rejection—it stings, I get it! I’ve been there, feeling all kinds of crushed when someone didn’t feel the same way. But here’s the secret: rejection doesn’t define you! It’s just life saying, “Not this one, keep moving!” Each rejection is a lesson that gets you closer to the right match. Think of it like finding the perfect outfit; sometimes, you have to try on a few that just don’t fit before you find the one that makes you feel like a million bucks.

Remember, you are enough—just as you are! You are worthy of love, respect, and all the happiness in the world. The right guy will come along when you least expect it, and trust me, he’ll know he hit the jackpot by being with you!

So, as you navigate the crazy world of love and dating, hold your head high and shine like the star you are. Love should make your life even more awesome, not define it. Focus on being the incredible person you already are, and watch as the right people are drawn to your light.

Let’s lift each other up! What’s your best piece of advice for loving yourself and knowing your worth? Drop it in the comments, and let’s inspire one another! Remember, queens: you are enough, you are worthy, and you are fabulous just as you are! Shine on, beautiful!

[eiuuei]

I kinda have no other place to share this, so allow me to rant, and feel free to respond; either to this or w stories of your own maybe.

I just started going to therapy again after years of taking a break. I used to struggle with many things in the past, which I learned a great deal on how to cope with.

Now I am doing way better in life, I am responsible when it comes to my happiness and health. Which I think is a grand accomplishment.

But there are parts of me that no matter how much I apply these coping mechanisms to, they don’t get better. I lost my ability to trust people, I cannot form relationships like I used to be able to; romantic or platonic. I always feel like I am decieving people when they like me, and that once they discover who I truly am that I will lose it all.

So I started theraphy again, for those reasons, and I felt as though my therapist tried to instigate and reopen the old wounds again in order to be convinced that I had them. The ones I already put a lot of effort in learning how to mend.

It is so frustrating for your effort and pain to be questioned because you are in a better place now.

She didn’t even try to understand that I was struggling with relationships because I have been very risk avoidant: didnt go on dates, didn’t develop expectations of people so that I would never took it personally when they forgot about me.

When she said: “what are the examples of why you feel that way?” I didn’t have a lot of recent examples, because I removed myself from those kind of close relationships. And when she asked “why is it important for you?” I could calmly respond because I have been meditating on it for a long time, and had convinced myself to be momentarily careless about them so I could enjoy my life more.

She was skeptical of my long term circumstances and uninterested in helping me unpack them. I think because I was doing well. And without any of the evidence I could provide that could convince her, she told me to seek other avenues to solve this.

I also, couldn’t convince her that I already did, and that they told me to seek psychological help.

I wish I could believe that something wasn’t intrinsically wrong with me, but putting in so much effort in to find help, and being turned away from every door I knock on is really making it hard to hold onto my hard earned optimism.

We haven’t been seeing each other for that long with my therapist. But every time we meet again, for a week I struggle to find my footing again. I have been spiraling pretty bad. And none of this has been helpful for any breakthrough or anything.

I think I am going to stop seeing her.

I don’t know what to next. I think I will try to pick the pieces of my previous better-mood and coping mechanisms. But first, I need to figure out, or give myself time to get out of spiraling.

I felt like there’s no other place I can share this on, since a lot of real life friends follow me on everywhere else. I apologize for writing so much. I wanted to talk about it.

[detailtilted]

Thank you!! (To the rebloggers of the CHICON 2007 J2 Breakfast Video)

I’m not sure of the proper Tumblr-ish way to thank all of you who recently reblogged my post, so please let me know if I’m violating some sort of etiquette or doing things in a weird/awkward way.  I tried to put this in a comment on my original post, but I was too wordy!

I wanted to give a big “thank you”, though!  I was kind of thinking this project was just going to fade into obscurity, so I was really happy and surprised to find several notifications when I woke up this morning.  It was so encouraging to see the interest, and I’ve appreciated your comments both in the tags and in the reblog texts, as well as just the fact that you thought it worth reblogging.

The day I posted the Breakfast video, I started on the main Jensen/Jared/J2 panels from the same CHICON 2007 convention.  I figured if nothing else, even if no one else was interested, I’d want to have a complete set.  That will likely be the next thing you see from me, but I’m very slow, especially now that vacation is over, so my output speed won’t be impressive.  I do hope to get faster with practice.

The Breakfast video was my first time ever doing any video editing, not counting one very short and very pathetic attempt a few months ago with free software.  When I did this one, I purchased some proper software and I’ve been learning both the new software and video editing concepts as I go. I'm more of a words person than anything else, so this is way outside my wheelhouse, but it's something I'd been thinking about a lot lately and I thought I'd give it a try. If nothing else, it's fun to learn a new skill. I've found it to be surprisingly absorbing. The skip-meals-because-I-don't-want-to-stop-what-I'm-doing kind of absorbing.

If I do more, my intent was to progress through the cons by date starting from the oldest.  However, I’ve found that some footage is just such poor quality that the upscale process I’m using doesn’t work on it no matter what combination of settings I try.  I could still edit the original videos together as-is and then add subtitles and additional content like what I added here, but I guess people would be less interested if the video quality is too bad.  So I figured I'd skip over the ones I couldn't get a good set of upscaled videos for and focus on the ones where I felt like I could get a tolerable video quality.  Maybe someday either the technology or my skills will improve and I can go back to the ones I skip, or maybe someone else in our fandom with more skill in this area will be able to accomplish more.

(@kerkhofbloemen, unfortunately, it looks like most of the L.A. 2008 footage falls in that category, but I only experimented with a couple of the main videos briefly a few days ago.  I’ll put some more effort into it after I finish CHICON 2007 before I completely write it off as being beyond my current abilities.) 

Editing in the extra content has been the most fun part of the process for me.  So many of their cultural references go completely over my head, because I guess I live under a rock!  I had a moment of pure glee when I Googled “Montgomery” to try to figure out what Jensen was talking about when he picked his mic stand up. I immediately saw that Montgomery Gentry photo and burst out laughing because it all finally made sense!

Thank you very much @blue-chimera @sensitivehandsomeactionman @afacefromamoviescene @soulmates-for-real, @winchestersbaby067 @arwenadreamer @takikojou @kerkhofbloemen @stoneyggirl2 @unepetitefrancaise @jensenbeingjensen !

(I hope I didn’t miss anyone!  If I did, it definitely wasn’t intentional.  The reblog count on my post shows 12, but I only saw 11 names.)