#nothing quite like the feeling | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

illbegottenfaith · 19 days ago

Text

sweet?!

you may not be the one dating theodore nott but you'd be damned if you let anyone think of him as sweet (theo nott x reader)

Part 1 | Part 2

a/n - I meant to make a separate post a while back but college has been kicking my ass so 😭 but 300 followers!!! insaneee ily all sooo much mwah I feel so so grateful and also a little weirded out cuz wdym 300 people... (I am SO bad at these can you tell um anyways) also this was inspired by a new girl episode!! I kind of have plans for a part 3 but im still workshopping it so idk yet but !! we'll see :)

tropes/warnings - fluff, slight angst, mattheo not understanding physics (but its not like he had a formal education in the subject so is it rlly his fault??), tw descriptions of injury

word count - 1.5k

taglist - @hzdhrtss @justaproudperson @kandralice @clairesblouse @deenaaa

"You're still coming this afternoon, right?"

You were having lunch in the Great Hall with your best friend Ivy, hours before one of the most entertaining sporting events of the year - an underground Muggle sports day. Every year, a group of students from each house would compete in some arbitrarily chosen muggle sport, with varying levels of success. Casualties and knee-slapping memories (for those standing in the sidelines, such as yourself) were a guarantee.

You nodded. "Are you kidding? Watching the boys wack each other black and blue at some poor attempt at a muggle sport? I wouldn't miss it for the world. I hope it's hockey. It's got sticks, you know." You got an odd, dreamlike look in your eye. "Merlin, I hope it's hockey."

Ivy dug into her Shepherd's pie. "Good. It sounds interesting enough. Plus, Theo's new girlfriend will be there."

You nearly upset your pumpkin juice.

"Girlfriend? When did that happen?"

Something in your voice must have given your true feelings away from the way Ivy squinted at you suspiciously. You pulled a face. It seemed convincing enough.

"It's all very new," Ivy said a tad bit sternly. "They met at Davies' party a while back and, well, they fancied each other, so -"

You snorted.

"What, is he blackmailing her?"

Ivy frowned at you. "Don't snark," she rebuked. "It isn't nice. She's a regular daisy, you'll see."

Yeah. Sure. You piled some more mashed potatoes onto your plate.

"Has anyone checked her for brain damage? Look - I'm not even snarking, I'm genuinely concerned for her wellbeing - "

“I don’t understand how this is supposed to work,” Mattheo was saying as the two of you walked over the makeshift Muggle basketball court someone had fashioned out of one of the disused storerooms in the dungeons. He and the rest of the Slytherin boys were wearing matching fluorescent green mesh vests to distinguish themselves from the Gryffindor team, engaged in some deadly serious discussion. A part of you wondered if you should mention that muggle sports weren’t generally meant to be as fatal as Quidditch.

As usual, Theo looked bored to death by the conversation. "We've been over this a hundred times. You dribble the ball -"

"Yeah, right," Mattheo vehemently said. "Like this thing's coming up if I throw it down. What do you take me for, an idiot?"

Theo pinched the bridge of his nose, oddly reminscent of the way you did when you felt a migraine coming on.

"Remember the tennis ball, Matty? The fuzzy, green one?"

"That's different. That thing was tiny, and bouncy. This thing's heavy. It's the size of my head. No, a quaffle. No, a -"

"Then what do you think is going to happen?" Theo interrupted irritably.

“Stick to the ground, obviously. Watch - "

As seasoned as the lot of you had become in anticipating Mattheo's often highly dangerous impulses, this one came entirely out of left field. Theo yanked him back by his vest, but it was too late. He slammed the basketball down and it ricocheted back up almost immediately, punching him right in the nose. Mattheo swore loudly, and the last thing you saw before you looked away was an awful amount of blood.

Even after Enzo took him to the Hospital Wing, once Theo had sufficiently plugged his nose with obscene amounts of tissue, things did not improve for the team. About halfway through the game, an unfortunate scuffle between some of the players left Draco curled up in a ball, grimacing as he clutched his knee. Theo winced, running over to where Draco was doing a rather poor job of concealing his pain.

"Oh, that's so Teddy," Margaret gushed to you, "always stopping by to help anyone in need. Isn't he such a gentleman?"

You nodded stiffly, your slight smile frozen on your face, willing Ivy to hurry back with the snacks and drinks she had left for. After she had introduced the two of you to each other, you decided that Margaret was a perfectly pleasant person, even if she wasn't the type of friend you typically sought out. If anything, you were more confused than ever about what she was doing, hanging around a guy as bitter as Theo.

However, one thing that truly bothered you was the odd remark here or there that revealed her grossly inaccurate perceptions of him, such as this one. You thought back to just last week when you had tripped in front of him on one of the Shifting Staircases, your books tumbling down into the recesses of the stairwell. He had stopped by you, alright. Stopped to point and laugh, that is.

"Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend. He's really sweet," Margaret finished.

Your eyes nearly fell out of your head.

"Sweet?"

Just in time, Ivy hurried over, gently pulling you away with some half-hearted excuse.

"O-kay, I think that's enough bonding for today."

"Sweet," you echoed weakly as you limply allowed yourself to be carted away, the appalled expression still on your face. "She thinks he's sweet." Euch.

But Ivy wasn't paying attention to you anymore. "How bad is it?" she asked, as the two of you neared the cluster around Draco.

"Bad," Ivan replied, gingerly pressing Draco's knee. "He definitely needs to see Madam Pomfrey. No way he'll be able to play any more today, and we're out of reserves, so we're a man short." He turned, motioning to the Gryffindor players scattered across the field that the game was over.

"Damn. I'll take him to the hospital wing, I've been meaning to check on Mattheo too. Meg, you'll help me, won't you?"

With a little difficulty, the three of them limped along once they had pulled Draco's arms over their shoulders. One of the Gryffindor players approached the crowd, picking up on what was happening after a glance at Draco.

"What about the game?"

Theo rolled his eyes. "We'll rematch, you nitwit."

You went back to your seat, trying to figure out what to do with Ivy's refreshments. Once it was clear that the game was over, the last of the players and the scanty audience filtered out of the room.

"What gives?"

You pulled your gaze back to the lone Slytherin player left, in a blood-spotted mesh vest. Your least favourite player. You could slap that on a T-shirt - not that you wanted to cheer for him. Merlin, no. Cheer against him, maybe. You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy - which, coincidentally, happened to be him. You momentarily abandoned your musings as you returned to the real world, noticing the expectant look on his face.

"Hm?"

Theo spread him arms out and shrugged in a helpless sort of manner.

"I don't get it, L/N. What do you want from me?

You stared at him blankly. "...what are you talking about?"

He scoffed half-heartedly, like he was too upset to put any real heat behind it.

"I have this amazing new girlfriend that everyone loves." He tossed the ball away with a defeated air. "Everyone, except you."

The words stung. You stuck your chin out defiantly.

"Why do you care so much about what I think?"

"Why can't you just be happy for me?

"I just want you to be honest."

Theo's eyebrows shot up. "Honesty? That's what this is about?"

That's what it had always been about, you wanted to say. You sniffed nonchalantly, rearranging the pleats of your skirt.

"I don't think it's fair to Margaret that you're selling her some lie just to -"

"You think I'm lying to her?"

He kept his voice cool, almost offensively neutral. You rolled your eyes. "I know you are."

Theo was quiet after that, as if mulling over what you had said.

"So," he pressed after a moment, slowly walking towards you, forcing you to crane your head up to maintain eye contact, "you think I should be more transparent with her. That is...show her my unpleasant side."

You allowed yourself a brief smile. "Exactly."

"Be more rude to her."

"Yeah."

"Mock her."

You furrowed your brow slightly.

"Erm, sure."

"Insult her."

"I - what?"

"In short," Theo continued, as if you hadn't spoken, "you want me to treat her like I do you."

He tilted his head.

"Why is that? Do you feel...betrothed to me? Or, perhaps, you consider me your boyfriend? Since we're being honest, and all."

In that moment, you decided you never hated Theo more than you did then, with his domineering stances, condescending sneers, and caustically sarcastic remarks. You swallowed hard, your throat almost painfully tight as you felt the traitorous prick of tears behind your eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous," you muttered. But he wasn't being entirely ridiculous, was he? It was what made the whole thing all that more upsetting.

If he noticed you were teary-eyed, he didn't comment on it, as if it were disappointing. As if you were yet another disappointment in his book of unfairly high expectations. He straightened with a barely convincing air of nonchalance. If anything, he looked just as upset as you felt.

"Whatever, L/N. See you around."

#ahhh I feel like its quite a bit harder for me to write now that college has resumed #but somethings better than nothing i suppose eheh #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott x you #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott angst

402 notes · View notes

felassan · 3 months ago

Note

What kind of spirit do you think Felassan waz?

Swag

#ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧#dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age the veilguard spoilers #<- this is my spoiler tag #dragon age: dreadwolf #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #dragon age #bioware #video games #mjs mailbag #robotslenderman #felassan #Best Elf #no but on a serious note its a great question and one which ive been thinkin about a lot #did Felassan manifest from the Fade or was he born in the early days still but of others who had manifested before him?#and if he did manifest from the Fade what kind of spirit was he. lets say for fun for this post that #he was a spirit. I feel like there's quite a few different things that could work in that scenario #he has wit in terms of smarts & snark & whimsy. he was part of a movement that opposed tyranny and valued freedom. back then he wanted #to protect innocents. he's charismatic and good w/ people. he was a loyal friend to solas and later on was loyal to briala. he's calm and #level-headed. steady. a slow arrow makes its way to its target/goal slowly but steadily and you dont see it coming #Wit.. Loyalty.. Friendship.. Freedom.. Steadfastness.. Charm.. Protection.. Resolve.. Duty #my personal hc atm tho is- if he was- Guidance ◕‿◕. “'I kindled nothing' Felassan said. [...] 'I merely offered guidance.'"#he spent the rebellion guiding an army as a General and giving Solas guidance on how to be a good leader interact w/ people be the face #of a rebellion and to stay on the right path as one of his advisors. later he was Briala's hahren/elder giving her guidance through TME #he signs codexes like ask for the slow arrow and i will help/guide you. he was looking after those of flesh and fade in the lighthouse #guidance can be given from both a second-in-command (subordinate) role and from a superior (elder to mentee) role #when we see him in a memory Solas welcomes the spirits in elven then says “lasa ghilan” which means grant/give guidance #and the very next thing that happens is that Felassan speaks. an Arrow gives direction. it POINTS THE WAY..

368 notes · View notes

guardian-angle22 · 20 days ago

Text

911: Lone Star | Judd & TK Parallels

#911 lone star #911lsedit #tk strand #judd ryder #my gifs #tw: addiction #tw: discussion of suicide #911 lone star spoilers #that pause before TK says 'no' has always haunted me ngl #but also judd's 'it's me' breaks my heart cause that means nothing juddy. *anyone* can have those kinds of thoughts #i know the bottom one isnt quite right since judd hasnt technically gotten his chip... but he WILL.#so who is gonna shove these two into the 126 bunk room to have a deep conversation?#the 126 bunk room is where all serious conversations at the 126 are had it feels like lol

168 notes · View notes

the-judicial-assistants-notebook · 5 months ago

Text

not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.

#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends #a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public #klavier gavin #kristoph gavin #i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's #singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general #mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin #products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you #see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than #needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a #'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate #and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis #that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin #to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is #or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless #thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you #natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears #jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just #makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too #annotations

264 notes · View notes

lycandrophile · 1 year ago

Text

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to #as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about #i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her #for all three of them but especially her #i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons #the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day #i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does #it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too #most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations #they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies #i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

554 notes · View notes

blueskittlesart · 5 months ago

Note

*sigh* thoughts on Nintendo's botw/totk timeline shenanigans and tomfoolery?

tbh. my maybe-unpopular opinion is that the timeline is only important when a game's place on the timeline seriously informs the way their narrative progresses. the problem is that before botw we almost NEVER got games where it didn't matter. it matters for skyward sword because it's the beginning, and it matters for tp/ww/alttp (and their respective sequels) because the choices the hero of time makes explicitly inform the narrative of those games in one way or another. it matters which timeline we're in for those games because these cycles we're seeing are close enough to oot's cycle that they're still feeling the effects of his choices. botw, however, takes place at minimum 10 thousand years after oot, so its place on the timeline actually functionally means nothing. botw is completely divorced from the hero of time & his story, so what he does is a nonissue in the context of botw link and zelda's story. thus, which timeline botw happens in is a nonissue. honestly I kind of liked the idea that it happened in all of them. i think there's a cool idea of inevitability that can be played with there. but the point is that the timeline exists to enhance and fill in the lore of games that need it, and botw/totk don't really need it because the devs finally realized they could make a game without the hero of time in it.

#i really do have a love-hate relationship with this timeline #because it's FASCINATING lore. genuinely. and i think it carries over the themes of certain games REALLY well #but i also think it's indicative of a trend in loz's writing that has REALLY annoyed me for a long time #which is this intense need to cling to oot #and on a certain level i get it. that was your most successful game probably ever. and it was an AMAZING game.#and i think there's definitely some corporate profit maximization tied up in this too--oot was an insane commercial success therefore you'r #not allowed to make new games we need you to just remake oot forever and ever #and that really annoys me because it makes certain games feel disjointed at best and barely-coherent at worst.#i think the best zelda games on the market are the ones where the devs were allowed to really push what they were working with #oot. majora. botw. hell i'd even put minish cap in there #these are games that don't quite follow what was the standard zelda gameplay at their time of release. they were experimental in some way #whether that be with graphics or puzzle mechanics or open-world or the gameplay premise in its entirety. there's something NEW there #and because the devs of those games were given that level of freedom the gameplay really enforces the narrative. everything feels complete #and designed to work together. as opposed to gameplay that feels disjointed or fights against story beats. you know??#so I think that the willingness to allow botw and totk to exist independently from the timeline is good at the very least from a developmen #standpoint because it implies a willingness to. stop making shitty oot remakes and let developers do something interesting.#and yes i do very much fear that the next 20 years of zelda will be shitty BOTW remakes now #in which botw link appears and undergoes the most insane character assassination youve ever seen in your life #but im trying to be optimistic here. if botw/totk can exist outside the timeline then we may no longer be stuck in the remake death loop #and i'm taking eow as a good sign (so far) that we're out of the death loop!! because that game looks NOTHING like botw or oot.#fingers crossed!!#anyway sorry for the game dev rant but tldr timeline good except when it's bad #asks #zelda analysis

166 notes · View notes

naffeclipse · 7 months ago

Text

One Soul to Another

Reader x Mermaid!Eclipse

Commission Info

I absolutely loved writing this darling hurt/comfort fic centered on Vanessa and Mer!Eclipse from In Deep Dreams Between the Waves for @counterbalance! The unlikely pair getting to connect while Y/N feels so much for their dear friend and dear mer is delightful.

Content Warning for mentions of death/violence/being eaten alive/mind control.

———

The Rustbucket II floats gently along a calm ocean as the dawn waits to spread rosy-tinged fingers over the horizon and lighten the darkness of the salty waves splashing softly against the side of your boat. In the cabin, you stir gradually, still caught between dreams and the black depths filled with stars where you spend your nights with your giant mer.

A calm warmth fills your heart. The beautiful weight of Eclipse’s presence sits tenderly within you, and you swear his fingers still curve softly around you, cradling you close to his chest. His bioluminescence glows behind your eyelids with the strong, orange light of a bonfire. His soft warbles and purrs fall against you but distantly, held at arm’s length by your waking consciousness.

Eclipse?

He withdrew from you softly, setting you back into your sleeping mind like he was tucking you into bed. You blink slowly, your eyelids weighed down with sleep. He doesn’t often leave you so early. He looks forward to your shared dreams the most.

Slowly gliding your hand over the thin coverlet, you push yourself up on your bed, supporting yourself on your elbows as you force your eyes to focus on the gray-dark light touching the ocean. It’s still so dark. A cool mist hangs in the air. The smell of seaspray clings tightly to your senses. Working up your alertness, you slip your bare feet over the creaking floors of the cabin and softly slip towards the doors leading to the deck. The glass windows are slightly stained with ocean water and you mentally jot down a note to clean those when you return to shore.

Peering out onto the deck, you find a very beautiful, rare sight.

Vanessa. Her arms are folded, leaning against the handrails with her blonde hair outside of her usual ponytail. It’s gotten longer. It falls over her shoulders and down her back. Bangs fall into her eyes from what little of her face you see. A thick-knitted cardigan of cream warms her against the early morning chill.

Just beyond her, nestled in the water with his head above the surface, is Eclipse. The leviathan hides his great size just below. His lithe four arms are the length of ships and his long, serpentine tail is dark and beautifully frilled.

His eyes don't shift you, his brilliant yellow colors set entirely on your dear friend, but a gentle pulse ripples through your heart.

Hello, seashell.

You silently hide in the shadow of the cabin, unwilling to disturb this moment for Vanessa. She hardly ever wants to see Eclipse. He reminds her too much of the vicious mer who took hold of her and compelled her into his horrid bidding.

She has nightmares of his song, but she didn’t last night. You would have heard her screams.

The softest sounds of Vanessa’s voice slip through the calm ocean air. You quietly hold your breath.

“I don’t know how they found you,” she says softly. Her hands nervously knit one over the other, wringing and twisting her fingers. She hardly lifts her eyes to look at Eclipse. He’s trying very hard, you realize, to make himself small and non-threatening for her.

He warbles a low sound, sending ripples across the settled ocean surface. The slightest twitch of her brow follows.

You lean closer against the door, your ear pricking towards her. Maybe you shouldn’t listen in. Vanessa might have told you much but she hasn’t told you everything. Now that she speaks to Eclipse, you can’t help but wonder if this might be therapeutic, a way to help undo some of the damage done by Glitch.

“There must be a difference between a mer meeting a human when the mer is small and when they’re grown.” Her head bows deeper. “Do mers grow up without a human and decide to sink their ships, just because they can?”

Eclipse shifts in the slightest, his brilliant arrangement of frills crowning his head in bright oranges and yellows sweeping in a soft, comforting gesture. His attention remains on her. A soft note slips from him. A soothing sound you so often hear when a terrible dread creeps over you and you feel the wet walls of Glitch’s stomach closing in around you again.

Her eyes still don’t stray from him. A confusing need to calm her sweeps through you. You stand silently, hugging your arms in the quiet dawn-gray light.

“I don’t know why a bad one found me. Why did he choose me?” Vanessa’s voice wobbles wetly. You almost step closer, to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Eclipse rumbles gently. The sound seems to wash over Vanessa like a wave of sea foam. Slowly, she reaches up and touches her face, smearing something wet while clearing her throat.

A radiance of patience and compassion fills you. The distant echo falling from Eclipse brims you with a warmth like sunlight dappling a watery surface. You shift and squeeze your hands together. You so often admire your mer in his wonderful care for you. Now you witness it for Vanessa.

She swallows thickly.

“I think about it sometimes,” she says so quietly you almost don’t catch her words. “If he hadn’t chosen me, I would be dead like the rest of them. He would have eaten me alive.”

A tide of rage flows into your heart, not your own, but Eclipses. A shudder overtakes you. Closing your eyes briefly, you clench your teeth and breathe deeply, focusing on the wooden frame of the cabin and the soft creaking sounds of your boat.

Glitch is dead. Eclipse ripped him apart.

“But he did choose me,” she says quietly, haunted. “I’m alive.”

A low warble leaves Eclipse. He bobs along the surface and catches her gaze.

On the smallest ray of sunlight filling the horizon, you watch a tear drop into the salt of the sea off of Vanessa’s face. Her fingers clench, twisting in her cardigan sleeves. A rattling breath leaves her.

“He terrifies me still,” she whispers to Eclipse. “I think he’s hiding in my dreams, waiting to come back.”

A soft rumble leaves the giant mer. Eclipse slips the smallest bit closer, sending small waves out from his movement and splashing quietly against the boat. He softly parts his lips, keeping his teeth well hidden while singing a gentle note. A confirmation.

You feel his memory as if it were your own hands. One reached down into the gullet of the leviathan to find you and pull you free, and the other two pried Glitch’s jaw wider and wider until muscle and sinew ripped and bones cracked. Until the water turned red with blood. And he held you safe in his hands, your tiny body sinking into the safety of his grasp.

He’s dead.

Vanessa lifts her eyes to him. Her bottom lip trembles.

He cannot hurt you anymore.

You breathe out softly and clutch your heart. You wish Vanessa could hear his voice.

“I know,” she says, as if she did. She hunches lower along the handrails. Even when you were at her side in the time she couldn’t sleep and feared a singing voice, she never looked so small. Perhaps you are too used to her watching over you. She looked out for you when you were younger, always taller and wiser. Now you see her for the fragile state she remains in. Your heart squeezes within you.

A gentle wave of warmth seeps over your shoulders. You breathe again.

“I had no control.” Vanessa squeezes her hands into fists until the skin over her knuckles stretches white. “He forced me to lead every single soul to their death. I was burning. Resisting him was agony like he was going to cleave my soul from my body. I could never tell him no.”

She drags the heel of her hand into her cheek, eyes squeezed shut. Eclipse stays quiet, waiting until she can breathe again. You furl and unfurl your fingers but force yourself to be as patient as Eclipse. He knows what he’s doing.

“His song still lives in my head. When it gets too quiet, I hear it again. I think he’s back.” She trembles where she stands. Her hair falls around her shoulders and you wish to sweep it back to see her face and tell her it’s alright. Glitch is gone.

“When I was face to face with him,” she stops and bites her bottom lip. Another tear fell down her face, “I was nothing. He could have crushed me. He could have speared me with one of his claws. I could do nothing to stop him.”

A wretched sob leaves her. Horror rips from her teeth. The breath drags out of her throat and you start, your heart breaking in the echo of her sound. Tears threaten to swell within your own eyes. No. You have to be strong for her now.

She doesn’t deserve this. She is as innocent as the ones Glitch killed.

Water softly sloshes down below. Vanessa stills. Rising to the handrails, one of Eclipse’s hands holds steady. He reaches the back of one crooked finger for Vanessa but leaves distance between true contact. Vanessa steps back once. Slick brine falls away from his skin and back into the water, dripping from his claws. Eclipse holds her gaze, steady despite the slightly bobbing boat.

Her body is rigid, taunt like a prey animal about to race from a predator. Low, coaxing sounds fall from Eclipse’s mouth as he keeps his head below. Vanessa has the choice. He will not force it but a will of simmering need to comfort one so afflicted by Glitch, just like you, heats his very heart.

You touch your chest softly. You’re here, too. It’s okay.

In silent awe, you watch Vanessa ball up her hands and step closer. As slow as the rising sun now sending sharp rays of light across the sea, she loosens her fist and slowly, cautiously, sets her hand on one of Eclipse’s knuckles. He softly hums and warbles in encouragement. Vanessa stares. She still shakes—you fear she might fall apart and dissolve into another panic attack—but she breathes. Her shoulders heave. Carefully, she looks Eclipse in the eye.

A great swirl of pride opens within you, shared equally by you and your mer.

“You’re so big,” Vanessa mutters, far away, as if she can’t quite wrap her mind around it. Or perhaps, she’s thinking of another mer entirely. Her eyes fall below the water. “But you can be gentle.”

Yes.

Eclipse shifts his gaze to you for the briefest moment. Your smile tugs on the corner of your lips. He chirrs gently before Vanessa looks up, and holds the leviathan's gaze once more.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I tried to kill you when I found you with them. You were small then, even smaller than them.”

He grumbles and trills, his grin splitting across his features as if he were allowing the incident to pass like water under a bridge.

She weeps once, her back shaking. She bows low and holds tight to Eclipse’s fingers and releases what you imagine to be a great flood of anguish over what’s been done. What Glitch did to her.

A whirlpool of revolt and hatred begins. The seaspray of Eclipse’s fury towards Glitch is a storm threatening to swallow all that draws near its spinning mouth. You lean deeper against the cabin door frame and brace yourself.

Wild visions cut across your vision, filled with violence and righteous anger. A soul bond is sacred. To take a human is to share a mer’s very being with them. The dreams, the pain, the love of a mer, anchored to a little human soul. To defile such a bond, to use it for mayhem and death is unforgivable.

Eclipse’s tail flicks below. A few gurgles of water flip and Vanessa stiffens in the slightest, her eyes straying to the movement. You feel the cords of his being tightened into control. The refusal to startle Vanessa just as he closed the distance between them, and listened to her woes. His frills lower and his arms calm, holding carefully still once more.

He can be gentle.

It is wrong what Glitch did. It is unfathomable to your giant mer, and you love him more for it.

You recall asking him if he would ever do such a thing to you. You were almost washed away by his revolt and disgust for such a notion, and you were stunned. You realized your error in even asking.

No, Eclipse could never do such a thing to you. You look at Vanessa. She didn’t deserve it.

It’s alright, you soothe inwardly, brushing against his own heart. She’s safe. No mer will ever hurt her again.

A great rumble of agreement joins your thoughts. Vanessa slowly takes her hand back and wipes the slickness sticking to her skin on her cardigan.

“Thank you,” she says at last. Her voice is small and weak, almost crackling with emotion. “If it wasn't for you and them…”

She rubs a hand over her face, pressing down on her eyes as if to shove the alternative out of her very mind.

“I don’t want to think about it too much,” she concludes. Her hand lowers and she offers a rare, small smile to Eclipse. “Thank you. For being good to them.”

Eclipse yearns to tell her more, to flick his fins and tell her all that Glitch did is wrong, but he can only warble. Gratitude softly blossoms within you.

You’ll make sure to tell Vanessa for him.

Using the back of her hand, Vanessa wipes her face and smears tears over her cheeks until the new sunlight shines on her skin. It will dry soon enough. A deep breath echoes softly as she fills her lungs and lifts her face towards the sky streaked with the pale light of dawn. Relief, you think, paints her eyes a softer green.

Eclipse lowers his hand with a gentle gloop of water as it falls below the surface. He turns his attention fully to you. His stunning frills catch the yellow light and brighten it. His eyes glow gently as he holds your gaze. Vanessa slowly turns to find you standing there. Her shoulders push back. She exhales a rattling breath.

“Did Eclipse wake you?” she asks in a thick voice.

“No. I just heard your voice,” you offer gently.

Stepping quietly, you cross the deck. Her smile is wet but real.

You open your arms for an embrace. She accepts, falling into you with her hands hooking around you tightly as if you were a lifesaver at sea. You gather her together and hold her tight.

Eclipse watches you both. His soft trills echo before Vanessa pulls away and wipes her face one last time.

“I’ll start some tea,” she says.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a moment,” you nod. The tiny kitchenette in your cabin is nothing grand, but it will do well enough to get a pot of tea going.

You let her go, slowly leaning back against the handrails as she disappears inside the cabin with a quiet click of the door.

A gentle purr from Eclipse follows, and you glance up at him with a soft joy filling you to the brim.

“Hey, big guy.” You smile.

Eclipse offers his hand, water rises until it surfaces with a slickness to his palm. Without hesitation, you accept, crawling onto the pads of his fingers and ignoring how your pajamas grow damp with his touch.

He lifts you gently into the air. With a soft flick, he leans back and slips away from the rustbucket II but stays well within sight. You settle into his palm as if you were coming home. A pulsing warmth trickles between your ribs and into your heart. You hold his big, yellow eyes softly.

“Thank you,” you murmur. You reach out and stroke his thumb. “You were very kind to listen to Vanessa. I think it helps her a lot.”

Eclipse whistles a happy sound and you’re nearly bowled over by his sweet joy for being able to provide comfort to a human he is still getting to know. But below the harmonic chords of cheer, you feel a bitter tang. Upset at the thoughts of a terrible fate thrust upon a human. A bond crafted not to use for love, but for control.

You watch his lips pull back into a silent snarl. His teeth are powerful and large, shaped like shark incisors, but they do not scare you.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you say softly. You shift to sit on your knees, waiting until he holds your gaze and loses the sharpness of his eyes. “It’s over now. You made sure of that.”

He killed Glitch. He told Vanessa just as much.

“You would never do such an awful thing,” you also press. You don’t need to tell Eclipse that, but you believe the mere thought grinds against his fins and scrapes his scales.

You think back to the tiny mer you found on the beach with a hook stuck in his lip. He was so tiny, so afraid then. You were an unknown monster reaching for him, but then you set him free. Now here he is, holding you in the palm of his hand.

You smile and open your arms, a silent request.

He answers you without hesitation. Gently lifting you to his large face, he sets you against his cheek. His nuzzle is joined by a thick, vibrating purr and you laugh softly, pressing against his slick flesh.

“See? It’s okay,” you tell him and stroke softly down the side of his face and brush a few of his swaying frills. “You take good care of me.”

And you take care of me.

You close your eyes and press just underneath the curve of his eye.

“Yes,” you murmur.

A gush of warmth envelopes you far more than Eclipse’s hands. Slowly, he pulls you back and with a gentle lick of his tongue, swipes half your body in his fishy saliva.

“Eclipse,” you half laugh, half chastise.

Love you.

He trills and sings and lowers you back to his chest where he gently washes you with drips of salt water from his claws. You close your eyes—this must be what kittens feel like being washed by their mother’s tongue—until you are less fishy and more salty smelling.

He hums low and gentle, and as the sun rises higher and higher, you rest above Eclipse’s heart. The beautiful beat within is steady. You drift upon Eclipse until Vanessa’s voice calls out from your boat. Tea is ready.

#naff's writing commissions #in deep dreams between the waves #mermaid!eclipse #nothing quite like an unlikely firendship #and eclipse gets to help vanessa traverse through her messy feelings in the aftermath of what happened to her #naff writing

201 notes · View notes