#nothing in the past 3 years has been worth staying alive for.

[honeyed-disgraceful]

There is literally no escape from this. Last year I said it felt like a cage because I knew what was coming. Had the confirmation today. I can never leave. And I cant even be angry. I'm just tired

[dnd-writes]

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Pt. 1

AO3

Tags: Non-con, this whole fic is just one whole degenerate lump of non-con, so warning all of you already at the beginning. BFH, very degenerate, unedited, Third-person PoV (cause easier that way), sex slave!Julie, sex slave!Natty, sex slave!Belle, sex slave!Haneul, sex slave!Kiss of Life, sexual slavery, sexual exploitation, contract manipulation, clothing control, slapping, punching, kicking, spitting, deflowering, anal deflowering, painal, dry vaginal sex, facefucking, cum on food, frozen dildos, I think that's all or most of it but you get the point

A/N: 1. First of all, thank you to @fillinforlater for the fic idea. Idk what the fuck happened, at first I was following the plot he laid out, then I changed this part, then I added this part, then this, then that, and I blink and all of a sudden I have this monstrosity of a fic 2. Fic has nothing to do with the song, just thought it would fit as a title 3. If anyone asks, for this fic I "changed the timeline" of KIOF's pre-debut stuff to essentially fit in June 2023, cause y'know, Haneul. 4. Part 1 cause Smite's prompt had a second part that I also want to write but it's gotten so long I decided to split the fic into two? parts.

It’s finally happened, she’s finally done it! After years of hardships and struggles Natty has finally achieved her goal of being in a K-pop girl group, the dream she once thought to be impossible now becoming a reality as she takes the pen and puts her signature down on the contract with tears filling her eyes. Some might call her crazy or an overreactor for bawling out but for someone who has gotten eliminated in the finals of not one but two survival shows, tears of joy sound like a reasonable reaction. 

Although Natty has already spent nearly a decade training, she is still looking forward to training more with her new groupmates. Even if it might take a decade more, as long as her dream comes alive, to her it’s all worth it. 

Natty expected to be surprised on her first day but she wasn’t ready to face what was in store for her. Having been a trainee for almost half her life, there’s no doubt that Natty has heard rumors about the industry, the drastic measures required to stay in form, the horrible things that happen away from prying eyes, the exploitation, the harassment. Though to her, they were all just rumors, just silly little things that people made up, little did she know that the rumors were just a teaser of what’s to come.

Natty goes through the front doors but instead of the vibrant and cheerful place she visited not long ago, the company now has a faint and eerie atmosphere. Lights are off, not a sign of any person in the immediate vicinity, it’s like the place never was alive to begin with. “Maybe I just came in at a wrong time,” she thinks as she navigates her way to her destination. Natty ascends to the fifth floor and as she makes it there, she hears subtle heavy breathing echoing along the halls. She decides not to get too curious and instead looks for the meeting place.

Natty stands just outside the door with a large smile prepared on her face, “This is it,” she tells herself as she gets ready to meet her new sisters. Her jolly expression quickly fades as she breaches the door, sitting inside are two of her three new groupmates. While very excited to finally meet them for the first time, what catches her attention the most are their outfits—both of them revealing way too much skin, a stark contrast to the jacket and jeans she has on. One of them is wearing booty shorts and a crop top cut short enough to barely cover her nipples and Natty notices that she doesn’t seem to have a bra underneath it. And all she can see on the other is a large red shirt barely making its way past her hips. 

Natty forces back a smile, trying to regain the excitement she previously had. There’s just four seats in the middle of the room all facing each other and Natty takes one of the two empty ones. It was awkward at first but the tension slowly dissipated as the three began talking, though a sense of eeriness still lingers behind. They start off introducing themselves to each other and Natty quickly learns that it’s Haneul who is wearing the crop top and Belle is the one wearing the red shirt. Once they got the awkward introductions out of the way, they proceeded to talk about random things. They start to talk about their lives now, their lives as trainees in previous companies, how the two knew of Natty in her time in survival shows. Although, every time Natty would try to talk about their outfits, they would pause and take a deep breath but then they would either play it off as if it was a normal thing or just change the subject entirely.

With no obstructions between them, Natty can’t help but notice some details with their apparent choices of clothing. Natty doesn’t know if she’s just imagining it but when she looks at Haneul’s crop top, she swears she can see a hint of darkness which she can only guess to be are areolas. Then there’s Belle who is sitting in the chair across from her, her short red shirt hikes even higher up her body while she sits down and Natty can see, clear as day, Belle’s pussy just hanging in the breeze. Natty tries to ask her about it but Belle just looks at her as if she was a crazy person.

Eventually the last member arrives, Natty somewhat expected her to also be similarly dressed which she is but the state she came into the room in was what shocked her the most. The last member arrives wearing a yellow sundress though from the looks of it, it might be a size or two too small. As she stands there trying to introduce herself to Natty, she keeps on adjusting her dress, struggling between pulling it over her chest or pulling it below her hips. But her attire is the least alarming part, her hair is all frizzled, her lipstick is smeared, and there’s drops of liquid dripping from between her legs. Natty forces another smile as all four of them start to talk together. The mystery girl introduces herself as Julie, their new leader. Julie takes the remaining seat and, similar to Belle, her dress hikes up, even higher compared to Belle’s shirt, and Julie’s pussy is visible to everyone. No one comments on it but Natty quickly sees that a pool of white is forming between Julie’s legs and it seems to come from her pussy and her butt.

Natty was right in that her first day would be full of surprises, though she did not expect to be such horrible and gut wrenching surprises. On her way home, she starts to recall the rumors she has heard over the years and after thinking back to what she saw earlier, they’re starting to become less like rumors and more like the harsh reality of the industry. But Natty brushes the thoughts aside, thinking to herself that her dream of being part of a K-pop group is being fulfilled and if it means even worse and troubling obstacles, then she will just overcome them too. She has had years of training, what’s a questionable dress code compared to that?

The next day arrives and Natty tries to remain optimistic, wearing another bright smile as she enters the practice room, though just like the day before it quickly drops. There’s a fifth person joining them that day and Natty can only assume he’s their choreographer only except he’s wearing nothing but shorts. While his toned body is in no doubt hot and amazing, given the situation and the very very prominent tent he’s sporting, Natty is deeply disturbed.

She says hi to him and then at her group mates who she has just noticed are still wearing the same outfits as the day before albeit with some slight changes—Haneul’s isn’t even covering her chest anymore, just dangling like a necklace above her shoulders; Belle’s red shirt has streaks of white all over the front; and Julie’s dress has a rip at the top as if her breasts were breaking free. Natty couldn’t even find the time to feel sorry for them as the man starts to talk to her as she comes in. “Hey, you’re the new girl right? What are you wearing?”

Natty stands frozen in place. She hasn’t gotten any sort of instructions or clothing to wear. Has she missed something? 

The man carries some papers over to her. “Did you not read this?” Natty recognizes the papers he’s holding, it’s the contract she signed. He flips through the pages and gives it to her, “See? Right here.” He points at the clause labeled “Attire” and Natty reads through the fine print. “In the company, the members should wear what is given to them or any clothing that they have. Provided that their tops have sleeves not longer than 10 cm and bottoms not longer than 20 cm.” With just her luck, she’s wearing a sweater and jeans that day. Natty couldn’t believe this, she remembers reading every detail of the contract but not once has she seen this. Natty continues to read the page and the next clause is labeled “Sex.” It reads, “The members cannot object to their bodies being touched or used by the employees of S2 Entertainment. The members must follow every order given to them, whether they are willing to do so or not. If the task is impossible to do, the members must accomplish it to the best of their ability. None of this can be mentioned to anyone outside of S2 Entertainment.” Natty could not believe her eyes, such inhuman clauses on her own contract. She hastily checks the last page and there sits her signature, bright as day. She looks at the others in disbelief but they can only stare right back at her with empty expressions.

The man grabs the papers back. “Well? The clothes we have are still in the laundry, so unless you have spare clothes with you or something, the only solution is to undress.” Natty looks at the others again for help but they just shake their heads and Julie mouths “Sorry” to her. “Are you going to do something about it or do you want me to take care of it?” Driven by fear of getting manhandled, Natty turns around and rushes to take her clothes off. Even with her back to everyone, she can feel the stares stabbing into her back. She feels so sick and dirty as she takes her sweater off and as she shimmies her pants off of her hips, she doesn’t realize she was involuntarily shaking her ass for everyone not until the man squeezes her butt.

Natty shivers in the cold room but it pales in comparison to being just in her underwear. Though it’s just the choreographer she has to be worried about, the lustful stare he gives her is enough to make her cry. Julie tries to console Natty but not a second later Natty hears a slap echo in the room, she looks up to see the choreographer in front of Julie who’s holding the side of her face.

The rest of the day goes pretty ok given the circumstances, mostly just going over the song and the choreography that went along with it, though their instructor occasionally helped himself to cop a feel while teaching and he seemed to be most interested in Natty, always focusing on her mistakes, groping and feeling every inch of her body as he “teaches” the dance.

The next day, Natty moves into the group’s dorm. “This time, it will be better,” she tells herself, maintaining that bright and optimistic perspective on life. She hopes that in the dorm it will be much funner and freeing, just her and her group mates living together and hanging out all the time. 

She opens the door and peers inside, to her surprise it’s really clean and quiet. Although she’s been very optimistic about things, deep down she was expecting similar horrors to what she has seen the previous days and seeing such a pristine and spacious living space is enough of a relief for her. After bringing her things through the door, Natty explores the place. In the living room there’s a huge flatscreen TV and a couch big enough to fit more than four people, and in the kitchen there’s lots of space available and a big fridge. Natty checks the fridge and salivates seeing lots of veggies and drinks inside, then she checks the freezer and almost falls to her knees from hunger seeing all the meat. Natty was about to slam the door shut when she notices a red dildo slightly hidden in one of the layers, she gives it a touch and confirms that it is ice cold. She blushes slightly, thinking that one of her group mates is kinky like that.

Natty hops over to the rooms, excited to see what those are like after seeing how extravagant the common areas are. She first checks on the room to the right, as she goes in she’s met with a very odd-looking room, half is very bland and empty while the other half is very decorated. “This must be my side,” she whispers while looking at the empty space. Over in the decorated half she sees Haneul fast asleep in her bed, seeing her wearing pajamas and not some skimpy outfit brings a smile to her face.

Natty closes the door gently as she makes her way to the next room. She barges through the door and immediately regrets it, the dorm which she expected to be their “safe space” away from the shit they have to go through at the company, turns out to just be an elegant looking prison. Natty was so happy about the place but unfortunately, it was too good to be true.

Natty sees three people all in one bed. Nearest to her is Belle, lying on her back and sobbing into her hands while a red dildo is shoved in her ass. Next to her is Julie and some man relentlessly pounding into her from behind. Only the man reacts to Natty’s arrival, looking over his shoulder to smile at Natty, it’s a different man, one Natty hasn’t met before. “Hi, Natty… I’m your… manager… Will you be a good girl and… pull that out of Belle?”

Natty should feel offended by such a crude question but after a week of “training,” she’s gotten to know better. Disgusted and disturbed yet Natty still drags her feet across the floor towards the three of them. “Just pull it out but do it slowly, don’t want to hurt her… even more,” he quickly adds the last part, chuckling as he does so, clearly enjoying himself at the expense of Julie’s and Belle’s pain. 

Natty glances at Belle, her face hidden in her hands, her body red and blue all over, her ass adorned with a bright red toy. She touches the base and immediately recalls her hand, it’s cold, ice cold. Natty considers herself a fool for even thinking for a moment that the freezer dildo was a kink thing, perhaps it might, but not for the person she thought it to be.

Belle’s quiet sobs turn to whines as Natty starts pulling the dildo out, the sound alone is enough to bring tears to Natty’s eyes, knowing that even though she’s helping, she’s still causing some pain. Natty continues to pull but at her slow pace it feels like it would take forever, she doesn’t even know how long the dildo is and as more inches get pulled out, the more worried she gets knowing how far it was in Belle and how much it could have hurt. 

Finally she pulls the thing out which calms Belle, her asshole closes back up, her body relaxes, and her cries die down. Natty looks at the dildo in her hand, the thing is almost as long as her forearm, she quickly throws it away and out of her sight.

Their manager turns to see that Natty has done what he requested, he gives Belle a slap on the ass and then Natty a pat on the head. “Oh nice… you’re a good girl... Natty… So here’s… your reward…” Before Natty could process anything he said or did, she feels her hair being yanked and her face quickly diving towards the bed. He makes her face to the side and starts to paint Natty in his cum. She hasn’t felt cum yet, let alone seen a dick in person, but the warmth and stench it leaves is enough for her to hate it.

“Wake Haneul up and have her clean you up, or you could just drink it all yourself, I wouldn’t mind. Just make sure to record, ok? When you’re done, Natty, meet me in my room, it’s at the end of the hall.”

And just like that he leaves, satisfied and so full of himself, while the three girls lay exhausted and broken.

Julie is the first one to recover among the three of them. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll go get Haneul, he hates waiting too long.” Before Julie can step away, Natty grabs her wrist. “N-No! I’ll do it. I’ll… try to do it.”

“You sure? Alright then. My advice is just do it quickly. Hwaiting.” Julie flashes a weak smile and raises her fist for encouragement and Natty reciprocates the action. 

Julie takes her phone and starts recording. Natty sits at the edge of the bed with Belle just slightly out of the shot. Natty scoops up all the cum on the side of her face, just doing so disgusts her immensely. With most of the white liquid in her palm, she puts everything in her mouth and gulps it all down. For a second all is well but the aftertaste hits her like a truck and she starts coughing again and again. She expected to hate it but it was beyond awful. Only when Natty calms down does Julie stop recording.

“Go to his room, it’s on the left. I’ll just put this back in the freezer,” says Julie as she picks up the dildo from the floor.

“He hates waiting.” Natty repeats, with no time to rest, she gets to her feet and moves to the manager’s room. Natty’s hand reaches for the doorknob but she stops herself before she can even touch it. This time around she opts to knock instead of just barging in. “Come in,” says the voice from the other side. Natty enters the room, it looks much bigger and more grand than the other rooms, a bigger bed, a TV, a mini-fridge, it was practically its own apartment. “So nice of you to knock, you’re still dressed but that’s an easy fix.” 

She notices him ruffling through some stuff in his drawer, she tries to take a peek but he closes it before she can see what was inside. In his hands are a remote and a collar with her name on it. “We just met a few minutes ago but I think you’re my favorite already.” He puts the collar on her, tightening it so it fits exactly around her neck. “Whenever you’re here at the dorm, you have to wear this, ok? And everytime I press this button.” He raises the remote and clicks it, sending a small stinging sensation to Natty’s neck. “You have to come to me. It’s only at one right now but if you’re not here within five minutes of me clicking it, it goes up by one, permanently.” Natty gulps but with the collar snug around her neck, it made it a little uncomfortable. 

“Ok so where’s the video?”

“Ah, Ju-”

As her name is mentioned, Julie barges into the room, phone outstretched with the video ready to play.

“Ah, there it is. Thank you, Julie.” Julie hands her phone over and stands in place, like a robot waiting for her next command. “Aww, look at Belle sleeping so peacefully. Oh wonderful, drinking it all by yourself. See, I knew you would be my favorite.” He hands the phone back to Julie and she starts to leave but before she makes it out he issues one final order for her. “Julie, be a dear and get Haneul. She’s been sleeping all day, I haven’t had my fun with her yet. Actually, you know what? Now that Natty’s here, just get everyone.”

With just the two of them left in the room, he walks over to Natty. Seeing his erect dick twitching so much causes her to involuntarily step backwards and his brows suddenly furrow. “Now, now, Natty.” The sudden change in his tone and expression is enough to strike fear in her heart, afraid of a punishment she puts her foot back to its original spot causing his smile to return. 

“Sweaters. Always so annoying, I heard you’re huge but I can’t really tell with that stupid thing hiding your tits. From now on in the dorm, Natty, only wear tight tops. Oh, better yet, no tops at all. The only thing I want to see you wearing above your hips is that collar.” 

Instantly Natty’s hands start to move, getting rid of any clothing on her torso as soon as the new rule is implemented. She can see it in his eyes, hunger ever growing with each article of clothing she removes. As soon as her shirt comes off, he starts salivating. “My, oh my, you’re huge. Looks like Julie’s got competition.” Natty reaches behind herself to unhook her bra but pauses for a moment, she realizes this is the first time she would show her breasts to anyone, many have touched and played with them at the company but not one has unveiled her boobs. As her bra falls, his dick twitches in excitement. 

The rest of the group arrives. Belle is the first to enter, her legs very tired and her ass still very sore. Next comes Haneul, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Last is Julie, her head held high and her face serious, looking like a guard rounding up the inmates although she isn’t any less of a prisoner compared to the other girls in the room. The four just stand in silence like mannequins and their manager walks around and gropes whatever he pleases as if doing some inspection. 

“Haneul… what did we say?” says the manager very disappointedly. His tone shocks her awake, “I-I’m sorry,” she bows then starts getting out of her clothes. He scoots over to her and slaps her in the face. “I’ll let you off easy this time since Natty’s finally here but I’m doubling the next punishment.”

After Haneul, he moves over to Belle, whose legs are barely keeping her standing. “You cross me again, I’ll make sure you won’t even be able to walk for the rest of the day.” He punches Belle and she easily drops to the ground sobbing, he kicks her while she’s down to add insult to injury. Natty can only shiver upon hearing everything happen behind her, does she even want to know what Belle did to make him so mad?

He moves over to Julie and the first thing he does is spit on her face then he uses his fingers to smear it all over. Julie keeps her composure, just closing her eyes as he plays with her face, not flinching or whining at all. “You should thank Natty for being here, ‘cause you’ll finally have some time to rest.” His hands cup her breasts, giving them a proper feel before he moves on to a bigger and better pair. 

Finally he comes back around to Natty, the only person in the room with any piece of clothing still on. “Tell me, Natty… Have you fucked before?” Natty gulps again knowing the implications, though it was bound to happen eventually. She shakes her head and he smiles. “Oh, a virgin? So many people in that building and not one has fucked you? Well their loss, we’re gonna have so much fun together.”

“Change of plans girls, looks like I need some ‘catching up’ to do with Natty. Go do whatever you want for now, we’ll be here for a full day or two.” 

But just before he dismisses them, he goes back to Belle, still on the ground holding her side. He spits on her face too but this time he uses his foot to smear her face. “Don’t think I’m done with you just yet. Be ready for your final ‘lesson’ when I’m done with Natty. Now go, all three of you, leave.”

It’s wicked really, how sick and twisted all of this is, all the expectations Natty had, completely flipped around. Shining eyes looking up to her turns out to be lustful stares looking down, helping hands turn out to be forceful gropes, and managers turn out to be owners. Natty looks over her shoulder with tears starting to form in her eyes, though her hands remain still, her stare acts like a hand reaching out to save her from the depths of hell but alas, all Haneul and Julie could do is return similar sad gestures as they carry Belle away.

The manager locks the door as the three leave and immediately gets back to Natty, even with all the time in the world at his disposal, he wouldn’t want to waste a single second. With the rest of the group gone, Natty feels even more miniscule and useless, even more of a toy as his gaze is solely on her. He comes up behind her and fills his hands with her tits, with Julie’s he can still grasp the whole thing in his hands but Natty’s can barely be fully contained. He starts to fondle and play with her nipples while slowly moving his mouth closer to her neck.

Natty easily starts to moan loudly, she wants to keep quiet to avoid giving him that pleasure but her complete lack of experience and the resulting lack of tolerance betrays her. He sniffs along her neck, “You smell so good and your tits… so fucking soft.” He finds a patch of skin along the front of her neck and starts to kiss and suckle on it, Natty explodes into a moaning mess, shouting in pleasure as if she’s having the time of her life.

The pleasure gets cut short as his hands move down to her waist. “Sweatpants… another cock blocker. From now on, just don’t wear anything, Natty. Your body is so hot and irresistible, wouldn’t want any clothes hiding your beauty. Don’t worry about getting cold, just come to me and you’ll be warmed up in no time.” His fingers slip into the waistbands and he slides both her underwear and her sweatpants down to the ground. He’s the first one to see her tits and now he’s also the first one to see her bare ass and pussy. As much as she doesn't want to think about it, he probably will be the first dick she takes in every hole.

The manager circles Natty slack-jawed and wide-eyed as if admiring a sculpture he has just made. “Fat ass, soft and heavy tits, pretty face. You’re just the perfect little toy, aren’t you? And a virgin too, just the absolute best, if I could I would just own you forever but sadly I’ve got a job to do. Although… maybe I can have you be my roommate instead of Haneul’s, that’s probably the closest I’ll get.” He leans down and frowns at what he sees. “Unshaved, unfortunate, guess you can’t have absolutely everything but it’ll do. First thing I want you to do when you’re out of this room is get that shaved, got it?” Natty’s been unmoving and frozen in place for so long that it takes her a second before nodding her head.

The manager pushes Natty onto the bed then flips her to face him. Her full body is on display for him, each delicacy just sitting idle like food in a buffet, up for grabs at any time. He licks his lips as he considers his options. 

“Two virgin holes, which to try first? The other three bitches came here already used, so this will be a first for you and me.” He slaps his dick against her pussy, grinding on it and feeling the slight hint of wetness it’s giving off. Next he considers her asshole, very puckered and looking very small compared to the head of his cock as he pokes her with it. He licks a finger and prods inside, the way his finger barely pushes through excites him and the way Natty winces seals the deal for him. 

He lifts Natty’s legs up and hooks them over his shoulders, giving him a perfect angle to ravage her ass. He lines himself up and slowly pushes his way in, not even bothering to spread her cheeks to mitigate the tightness. Natty is already breathing heavily as she feels her asshole stretching to accommodate him. “Please,” she begs. “It… It won’t fit.”

He just smiles and caresses her cheek. “That’s the fun part, a tiny virgin asshole broken open by my cock. I’m gonna remember this forever.”

As soon as Natty’s sphincter spreads wide enough for his girth, he shoves the whole thing inside. “AHHHH!!! TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OUT!” Natty fires a blood-curdling scream as his cock swiftly overwhelms her. It hurt for him too given how dry her butt is but only barely, plus her cries only work to alleviate him. 

He locks her legs in his arms and her hips in his hands to keep her from moving. Her hands might be free but Natty doesn’t have the strength or the courage to lift them up. Her ass feels like it’s on fire from the dry friction between the two of them. To her, it’s like hell. To him, the fire feels like an invigorating force. 

Her anal walls hug him so tightly, it’s like Natty’s ass is begging him to fill her up and who is he to turn down such a request. Her ass is so tight, it’s practically milking him dry, any tighter and he might not be able to pull out. In just a few minutes he starts to orgasm, the hardest and fastest one he’s had with any of the four girls. He pulls out and scrambles to find his phone, wanting to cherish this moment forever. “Second load of cum and many more to go. You’re gonna be such a wonderful cum bucket, Natty, milking me everyday. You’re going to love my cum and my dick in no time.”

Natty tries to stand, to do something, anything, but her body is just worn out already, completely exhausted, completely given up. The manager, on the other hand, is the exact opposite, even after tearing Natty’s asshole apart, he’s still hard and ready for another round. This time he has his eyes set on her cherished virginity. 

He hooks her legs back onto his shoulders but this time he carries her then pins her to the wall with her wrists bound by his hand above her head. While flexibility isn’t a problem for Natty, she is now face to face with her assaulter. She closes her eyes and looks away but that doesn’t stop her from feeling his hot breath on her face. His tongue pokes out and licks along her cheek, tasting her tears and her sweat, he leaves a trail of his saliva as he travels from her jaw to her ear. “So salty, so delicious. Everything about you is so delicious, you know that? Now I’m gonna enjoy fucking your pussy, I’m gonna see just how tight you fucking are.”

Tears fall nonstop from her eyes. Natty’s sobbing grows strong as she feels his heat pressing against hers. She so badly wants to beg him to stop, to let her rest, but her voice can’t manage to form words and she knows he wouldn’t listen anyway. 

He lines himself up with her folds and in one swift motion, he pistons his cock inside. “AHHHH!!! FUCK! PLEASE!!!” her voice only manages to come back during moments of intense pain. “Oh, Natty, your cunt. Fuuuuuuck, that’s the best pussy ever.” Her pussy is heavenly, it’s so tight that it’s almost orgasmic when he penetrates her. He just loves the way Natty squeezes around him. He also loves hearing her cry out in pain, to him it’s like a choir of angels. He relishes in the feeling of Natty’s pussy, living in his own twisted version of heaven.

As he pounds into her from below, Natty’s tits bounce freely in front of him and he doesn’t waste a second as his mouth latches onto her chest, after all, a little side dish won’t hurt while he enjoys the main meal. He bites her nipples, pulling and squeezing them with his teeth, only adding more pain to what Natty is already experiencing.

The two of them fucked endlessly in that locked room while the other three finally got some rest, though they couldn’t quite live in blissful harmony as Natty’s screaming kept them aware of their situation, the walls were thin enough to let Natty’s wails of terror flood the whole dorm. While the other three girls were able to sleep through it, in the morning they still heard Natty screaming and begging, though her voice much weaker and hoarser. 

There’s just so much to do with Natty, just pure lust and adrenaline fueling the manager all throughout the night. All the positions he could take her in, all the things he can do, all the possibilities, everything that Natty’s body can offer, he takes. He fucked her all over the room, didn’t even matter how or where, he just slams her down somewhere and fucks her in whatever hole he felt fit. He fucked her face against the wall, then fucked her ass while he pressed her face onto the floor, then fucked her pussy while missionary on the floor, then fucked her ass doggystyle on the bed, then fucked her face while her head hung off the bed, then fucked her ass in the shower. Just so much cum in and on her body in the span of a couple of hours and yet he is still going strong.

The next day comes around and there doesn’t seem to be any lapse in their action. Stretching from before the rise of the sun all the way to after it set, just endless screaming of pure pain and agony coming from Natty. The only time the manager interacted with the rest of the girls was when he asked Julie to cook up a meal for them. The door finally opened again for the first time in two days as Julie brought her cooking.

“Ah, pork belly, I’m starving. Thank you so much, Julie. I see you’ve gotten comfortable without me pestering you all the time,” he says as he sees Julie wearing some pajamas. “Oh, two plates? We won’t be needing that,” he chuckles as he returns the second set of utensils as well. Just before the door closes, Julie takes a peek over his shoulder and sees Natty practically lifeless on the floor. The manager gives Julie a quick smile, proud of his own work, then locks the door.

The manager walks over to the bed and nudges Natty with his foot before getting himself comfortable. Natty, almost void of all energy, springs to life as she smells the delicious food. Natty sits patiently, silently jealous as she stares at her manager eating all by himself. He points to his dick and Natty can only sigh as she lowers her face in front of it. 

The manager puts his hand on the back of her head and Natty opens her mouth, but instead of pushing down he says, “Let’s play a game, Natty. If you make me cum before I finish the food, you can have the rest of it.”

Natty doesn’t exactly have much knowledge on how to pleasure a dick, her only experience being the one dick that’s been forced in her body the past two days. She’s already come to terms with the fact that she might not eat for two days straight but regardless she tries her best. 

Natty employs the small pieces of advice she’s heard him tell her. Even though she’s basically just moving her head along his length, judging from his moans he seems to be enjoying it so she goes faster. 

“Fuck, Natty. Fuck… I’m gonna cum…” He takes over this time, gripping the back of her head as she immediately chokes. “Don’t… swallow it, fuck.” He struggles to squeeze his words out of his mouth as another orgasm makes its way into Natty’s mouth, only this time around it pools on her tongue. She already hates cum to begin with, cringing inside whenever she would taste it but with a whole load lingering in her mouth, revolting is an understatement. She struggles to hold it all in, not just because of the taste but also because of how much he gave her, her cheeks are full and just a little more it would probably overflow. 

He holds the plate of what’s about a quarter of the total meat still left on it. “Spit,” he commands and without hesitation she opens her mouth and deposits the batch onto the plate. “Go on, everything, spit into it.” She does as ordered, mixing the remnants with saliva and spitting onto the food. He spits onto the plate as well and mixes the meat with the “sauce” then puts it on the other side of the bed from her. “Go eat.”

Natty tries to get up and walk to the other side but the manager has other plans. He grabs her hair again and pulls her across the bed, forcing her to kneel down. “Come on, eat up.” He moves over behind her and lines up with her pussy. “Don’t waste anything, when you’re done I want that plate clean.” Natty stares at the disgusting abomination in front of her and she feels even more disgusted and degraded knowing that even when it comes to food she’s being treated like a dog. Her stomach gurgles, no matter how disgusting the food may be, she still has to eat. Natty tries to look at the brighter side of things, at the very least she’s eating actual food and not some slop that looks inedible. 

On the third day of her imprisonment, Natty is completely exhausted and broken. She just lies on her back, barely even reacting to anything her manager does anymore, there’s cum on almost every inch of her body and yet she doesn’t bother to clean it. 

Julie knocks to bring them breakfast, the manager gets the door but instead of just taking the food he tells Julie to give it to Natty. “She’s not fun anymore so I’ll be going back to you guys. And besides, the company is looking for her, can’t have her here forever.” As soon as the manager leaves, Julie rushes over to Natty and tends to her. 

The manager, clearly unsatisfied with Natty’s unresponsiveness and clearly needing a release, turns to Belle for release.

“AHHH!!! Wait, no, please… I’m sorry.” He barges into her room and she immediately shrieks upon seeing him. In the short span of two days, she’s gotten used to not being around him but here he is to remind her of her place. “I promise I won’t do it again, I—” She tries to get away but she’s stuck in the corner and all she can do is sink herself further into it. He doesn’t stop or even think for a second about what he’s doing, he just walks up and punches her face, adding another bruise to the multiple he’s given her. 

“Haneul? Get in here!” he shouts at the top of his lungs. While waiting, he pulls Belle’s face to the edge of the bed and starts facefucking her, all the while alternating between slapping her tits and punching her pussy. 

“Haneul?!” he calls again after a few minutes. After cumming down Belle’s throat and Haneul still hasn’t arrived, he marches over to her room. Not really to his surprise, he finds Haneul sleeping soundly in her bed. For one second he smiles, admiring her beauty before proceeding to ruin it. 

He punches her which brings her wide awake. He tugs her hair to bring her face close to his. “Always sleeping, you lazy cunt. Maybe you need a lesson too.” Haneul screams and thrashes as she’s dragged across the floor by her hair towards Belle’s room.

The next few days and weeks go by with the members somewhat getting used to and coping with the treatment that they are going through. Lots of practicing and “training” happens at the company, mostly the latter, then their manager has fun with them at the dorm. At the very least their manager is kind, all things considered, just as long as they follow his orders, so they still get to somewhat relax at the dorm. And whenever no one is using their bodies, the girls hang out, talk with each other, and comfort each other, growing a bond and giving each other hope to carry on until they debut.

The month ends and it’s finally time for Kiss of Life to debut. The four are no doubt incredibly excited, they finally get to wear clothes that cover most of their body, finally have some time away from the perverts, and most of all, they finally get to debut and live out their dreams of being K-pop idols, though little do they know what their company still has in store for them, even in public view.

A/N 2: So if you made it here, congratulations, you're as much of a degenerate as I am :). Anyway, while part 1 is mostly focused on Natty, part 2 would likely be four "mini-fics" in one, each focusing on one member. Subject to change but most likely it would be like that

[bountydroid]

Darlin' pt 9

pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5 / pt 6 / pt 7(SMUT) / pt 8 / pt 10 (SMUT)

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader

Description: Cooper gets vulnerable as they head to Moldaver.

TW: Angsty

Notes: Sorry this is a little shorter, I wanted to get something out for you guys since it has been so long. I appreciate your patience. Darlin' will end at the end of the TV series. So probably 1-3 more parts I haven't decided yet.

Sweat dripped down my face as my brows creased together. The very limited charm of the Wastelands has completely left, leaving me sweaty, angry, and very very tired. Cooper and I haven't said a word to each other since we left Sorrel behind. I know that he knows that I want answers, that I am upset, that I am scared. Instead of explaining himself, however, he stayed silent. This only increased my worries. My thoughts and fears ran rampant in my brain as I thought of every possibility. This woman, she meant something to him. I hoped that she was maybe a family member or a close friend. I knew it was likely false hope, but the thought of everything between me and Cooper was a lie? That he was leading me to a lover? I couldn't handle that thought, it was eating me alive. 

"Should be a couple o' days more walkin' darlin'. You think your little legs can handle that?" He jested, trying to improve the gloomy mood that hung over us. 

"Okay," I whispered back, I didn't know if he even heard me as I kept my eyes trained on my feet. I watched the sand move around my shoes like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Anything to keep my mind off of her. I could feel his eyes on me as he looked behind him, taking in my defeated form.

"It ain't what ya think." He says as he stops walking, finally addressing the issue. "It ain't like that."

"Whatever you say," I mumbled again as I brushed past him. I could feel his hand wrap around my wrist as he tugged me backward against his chest. 

"Listen to me damn it." He said angrily as he held me tight against him. I could feel myself starting to shake. I've been fighting the tears this whole time, but his raised voice finally broke the dam causing a broken sob to leave my mouth. 

"Don't yell at me." I cried out, frustrated at his reaction. I wanted him to kiss me, to coo at me, to hold me tight, but that wasn't the kind of man he was. He was just as broken as I was, and the years of wandering the Wastelands on his own left him an angry old man. 

"There ain't nothing worth cryin' about." He said as he spun me around to face him, "So stop it. Now." 

"Oh, am I inconveniencin’ you?" Venom slipped out of my mouth as I finally met his eyes, "Better leave me here then and just go after her."

He sighed, clearly annoyed as he pinched the leathery skin between his eyes. "You can be so damn stubborn." He mumbled. After he said that I let out an annoyed huff before turning back around with every intention of storming off, but before I could, he grabbed my arm again. "Stop it."

"Who is she then? When did our little adventure go from hunting bounties to hunting her?" I rambled angrily, not being able to keep the questions in any longer. "And when were you gonna tell me you are 200 years old? When did you meet her? You've been in the ground a long time, is she 200 years old? Is she your wife-"

"She's not my wife." He interrupted as he pinched my lips together to silence me. There was a moment of silence before he let my face go. Instead of continuing to berate him, I opted to stay quiet and rub my sore lips. "I ain't used to having someone I gotta explain myself to." He continued.

"You make it sound like such a chore." I scoffed out.

"Just listen to me, damn it. She's not my wife. She's not a lover. So, settle down." He huffed angrily. 

I silently stared up at him waiting for him to continue, to explain the pieces I was missing, however as time went on it became clear he wasn’t going to say anything else. My face changed from anger to disbelief as he stared down at me with his signature stony expression. I wanted to scream at him. To yell in his face. To berate him for keeping me in the dark. Instead, I just turned around quietly and started walking in the direction we were going earlier before shooting back at him with an aloof tone. “Whatever you say.”

I heard him scoff behind me, but this time he didn’t stop me from walking away. Instead, he chose to yell after me. “Does my age bother you? Me bein’ a ghoul is fine but an old ghoul? That's too gross for you?”

I stopped dead in my tracks before I whipped around to face him again. The look of disbelief still graced my face. “Of course that doesn’t bother me, Cooper. I can’t believe you would think that.” I could feel the tears returning to my eyes as we stood there staring at each other. “It’s the secrets that bother me. I told you everything about myself, but all you’ve told me is you had a wife and a daughter at some point. I’ve given you everything-“

“I know. I know darlin’.” He interrupted me as he walked up towards me. His scarred hands quickly found my cheeks as he cupped my face gently. The annoyed look he’d worn on his face this entire argument was gone, instead replaced with a look of sadness. “You deserve better than me.”

“Don’t.” I responded quickly, “Don’t do that. I am not gonna let you push me away Coop.” 

He gave me a sad smile before dropping his hands from my face, “Guess I am stuck with you then?”

I let out a surprised laugh as I grabbed ahold of his hands. “Yea. So you better start treatin’ me right.” I teased. 

His sad smile was exchanged for a happier one as he looked down at our joined hands. “How about we keep goin’ and find a place to stay for the night?”

I nodded my head quietly as I gave him a small peck on the lips before turning around, and dragging him close behind me. He scoffed and shook his head in disbelief, he had no idea what he had done to deserve love. He was a cold, hard man who thought he'd live the rest of his life alone and he had been fine with that. 

-

My mouth hung open in shock as we sat around the fire. Cooper explained everything, the vaults, the experiments, and his wife's role in everything. We took little breaks here and there, as it was clear this was hard on Coop. He hadn't told anyone about these things even before the bombs dropped. If he was a softer man, he would've cried. I sat still and listened carefully while casually rubbing his back with reassurance. I was happy that he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable with me.

"And Moldaver, well she was the woman who helped me realize the truth about my wife. Now that I know she is alive, I am hopin' she knows where my daughter is." He explained quietly, a look of defeat on his face. 

"Do ya think she's still alive?" I asked tentatively. 

"If Moldaver is, I don't see why not." He responded. 

I nodded my head quietly as I tried my best to take in all of this information. This was beyond me, and we both knew it. 

"Well, I'll help you find her," I said giving him a small smile.

He scoffed as he he frowned. "You don't have to, it'll be dangerous darlin'."

"I know." I said reassuringly, "But we are a team now." I kissed him on the cheek softly, my lips lingering on his face. "You are stuck with my Cooper Howard."

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@sarahmclean15

[suchine-toki]

Top 10 Gintaka moments

(Arranged chronologically because it was too difficult to choose. Spoilers ahead.)

1. Takasugi's laugh

After many encounters challenging the dojo, Gintoki sees Takasugi laugh for the first time, which becomes a core memory of his, a symbol of how things used to be and what he wants to preserve (ch. 517).

2. The promise

Surrounded by enemies, Takasugi asks Gintoki why he decided to join the war, to which Gintoki replies that, like him, it was not for a noble cause. At this, Takasugi recognizes that the two are good-for-nothing warriors, but asks Gintoki to take care of their sensei in case he dies. Likewise, Gintoki asks Takasugi to stay alive (ch. 516).

3. Gintoki's tears

Right after their sensei's death, Takasugi furiously runs towards Gintoki until, for a split second, he sees him crying. This becomes the last thing he saw with his left eye, a core memory that reminds him of the pain and grief they experienced (ch. 520).

4. Reunion at the festival

After 10 years of not seeing each other, Takasugi sneaks up behind Gintoki and threatens him with his sword, commenting on how easy it was and that he has become weak. He also tells him about his plan to kill the Shogun, claiming that within him there is a black beast that seeks revenge. At the same time, he confronts Gintoki for looking away from the past, making him unable to understand his feelings. To this, Gintoki responds that it's a shame that he underestimated him, which can be read in both a physical and emotional sense. It's assumed that they separate without another word (chs. 30-31).

5. They were the same

During a conversation with Nobume, Oboro asks her if Gintoki and Takasugi look like their sensei, to which she answers no, that the true resemblance was between them, since both had eyes full of sadness. As she says that, Gintoki and Takasugi can be seen passing each other, but only the former turns around to check that the latter is gone. It's worth mentioning that Gintoki warned Takasugi to be careful if he saw him walking down the street in chapter 97, but in the end he decided to not do anything (ch. 398).

6. Confession and realization

After their fight, with both of them on the floor, tired and full of injuries, Takasugi opens up to Gintoki about his suffering. He confesses to him that his face was the last thing he saw before losing his left eye, how devastating it was to see him cry, and the enormous survivor's guilt he feels, because he understands how much Gintoki loved Shouyo. To this, Gintoki responds that he didn't choose him, but simply knew what was important to theirsensei, thus lifting the burden from Takasugi's shoulders. Not only that, but Gintoki also confesses that, despite everything, he continues to see him as a fellow disciple of the Shouka Sonjuku and a comrade, whose soul he will protect (ch. 520).

7. Sword exchange

After a long coma, Takasugi awakens in Rakuyo and throws his sword to save Bansai. Likewise, Gintoki launches his bokuto to save Shinpachi, leaving them both unarmed. This is when they decide to take each other's sword and protect what is important to the other, reinforcing the message that a sword is made to protect the soul, and on other occasions that it even embodies it. Afterwards, they pass through hordes of enemies in order to see each other again, defending the other from an imminent attack and retrieving their weapon while locking eyes and making snarky remarks (ch. 573).

8. Pep talk

While everyone on Earth seems defeated, Gintoki hears a familiar voice over the radio. Hundreds of kilometers, far up in space, Takasugi tells him that they have everything under control and encourages him to continue fighting. Likewise, Gintoki assures him that on his side they haven't lost yet, and playfully encourages him, asking if he has already been reduced to junk. Despite being injured, Takasugi tells him to be ready when he comes for him, to which Gintoki smiles (ch. 650).

9. Let's rescue sensei

The greatest tragedy in Takasugi's life is not only the death of his teacher, but also that Gintoki had to be the one to kill him. Aware that he has little left to live, he admits that now he can be a little more honest with what he really wants to do. After fighting Gintoki as a way to punish himself, he's now able to recognize that he wishes to fight alongside him, while also wanting to alleviate his suffering by sharing the burden of his actions that day. Upon hearing this, the serious expression on Gintoki's face turns to astonishment at being able to achieve mutual understanding and once again have a common goal that is deeply personal to both of them (ch. 682).

10. Born under the same star

While Gintoki's eyes reflect the despair he feels at having to strike Takasugi's body, he remembers their childhood together. Gintoki fought very hard to protect everyone, but Takasugi fought even harder to protect him, and although Gintoki was definitely not ready to lose him, Takasugi was content with the idea that he had prevented him from killing their sensei once more. Knowing that he has little time left, it's Gintoki's turn to be more sincere. He embraces Takasugi and reassures him, acknowledging that he did indeed manage to protect him and that he wished they could have drunk together more often. But Takasugi tells Gintoki he doesn't want to hear him like this and he asks him not to send him off with a sad face. Mustering willpower, Gintoki smiles and tells him to wait for him in hell, which becomes the last sight from Takasugi's right eye as he smiles back before dying. No longer able to restrain his emotions, Gintoki weeps as he watches the sunset (ch. 703).

Part (1) (2) (3) (4)

[noturvlentine]

im not someone to miss (pt2)

༺ ♰ ༻

Leon Kennedy x reader series

Summary [series]- after Chris Redfield has requested for your transfer from the BSAA, you’re tasked with uncovering a chain of bio-terrorist attacks alongside Leon Kennedy. Destruction, duty and your untold past brings you spiralling into an unlikely bond with your partner, as efforts are made and promises are broken.

im back! sorry I haven’t been as alive as the past two weeks, school has really caught wind of assignments but updates are coming!!!!! Bear with me while I write up the rest of my vague plans for this series and I apologise if these time skips make no sense at all!!

Please don’t copy my work anywhere else!! this will be up in ao3 too!!! -j

1.9k words

part 1

part 3

༺ ♰ ༻

Washington DC

A particular apartment block

21:00PM

2009

You arrived home to a small, tactical grade duffle bag sitting on your doormat. You half-expected them to provide you with nothing more than necessary, but seeing as STRATCOM was no BSAA, their gear had been rather sophisticated to say the least. They had given you 400 hours to gather any intel from a country in Eastern Europe, which meant you had a little over two weeks stuck with Leon in some dusty safe-house apartment with minimal contact with anyone else (not like you had anyone worth reaching out to outside of work anyway). 400 hours- thats only if things went smoothly, in which, they never do. You’d be there for a month at the minimum guarantee and you were meant to escort a contact to a private exchange of resources they managed to snatch off the black market. If the deal went smoothly then at least the government can put their pretentious, expensive lab research to use with their hands on a sample of some B.O.W strains.

You managed to drag yourself into your apartment, keys thrown onto the kitchen counter as your first thought was to pour yourself a drink and burn a cigarette. You weren’t a drinker- correction, you weren’t an alcoholic, nor were you a smoker. It’s just that there was no one here to monitor you and you easily and cowardly blamed it on your job, but instead you just seemed to have revolved around whatever harmless substance was at your disposal for the time being- amongst other things. You’d always kind of lived your domestic life on autopilot, barely putting in a second thought to whether you actually needed to change the way you lived, whether you needed other things in your existence- or someone else, but who were you kidding, a pet maybe?. You were never the type to give someone a call back either- to be fair you never really stayed, hence why a drink and a smoke followed by a warm shower was all you really desired. You slumped yourself down on the chair at your dining table, not bothered turning any overhead lights on in return, just letting the gracious moonlight escape into the room. Your fingers traced the yellow folder you’d brought home from work today, the other hand going numb from the cold condensation of a beer bottle. You sat there for a good two hours, an unwise decision seeing as you still wanted to waste away in the shower and needed to be organised for departure tomorrow. Not to say, sleep wasn’t ever on your side either.

Under the sting of your hot shower, you couldn’t help but think of how exactly you ended up here. Eight long years of anti-bioterrorist service just for Redfield to temporarily ‘discharge’ you from the BSAA for your little let down back in South America (to be fair, no one had ever decided you were discharged, but the leave and subsequent transfer had been the equivalent of that in your eyes). Was he even going to let you back in on the field with him? You weren’t about to become an office personnel in your line of work after this mission, to be honest you thought it would be the hands-on equivalent of death- to spend years in training in both the military and special operations only to end up in the chain of responsive command for an XO you didn’t quite get along with. Not to mention- having to filter through everyone’s field reports and paperwork after Redfield just hypothetically offed the industrial section of a city. Nonetheless, you were at least grateful to still be working field for the time being, it may not be alongside Chris Redfield and the BSAA, but it was still something of the equivalent. You were enjoying what might be the last comfortable shower for the next month or so (something small to deal with considering the various lengthy deployments you’d been on previously), taking time to let the sprays of water loosen your muscles. If you were completely honest, you would enjoy a permanently domestic, normal civilian life either. Something simple as a long, warm shower would become tedious once it becomes frequented and unthreatened as civilians are. Maybe the loss in commodity value was an excuse for you to work this job until death. Or maybe death came closer, and maybe you’d already accepted that.

Your mind skipped to Leon, or rather what he was doing, then to what he’d think of you once he knew you too well (or if he ever will). After all, two weeks is a long time to be stuck with someone on your tail, in the same safe house flat, going over the same shit and waiting for something life threatening to occur. You’d feared that when you’d first gravitated towards the BSAA, scared that you were going to let someone in (arguably, you’d always defended Chris as your bond came from the sentimental value of your jobs) and that they were going to come to the inevitable realisation that you were both fucked and would soon wound up dead on the field somewhere. That was definitely something harder for others to compute, as you’d accepted your death ages ago and were only ever waiting for people the catch up, hence why you’d think Leon would actually hate you.

South America

BSAA outstation

14:00PM

December 2008

‘Fuck! Goddamn it!’ Chris throws his fist into the crumbly stone pillar to his right. ‘We are sending in backup immediately-‘

‘Redfield that is not of your command, we’re not taking that risk-‘ petty, for anyone to want to argue with Chris Redfield. He’s always been full charged if not spewing out electricity by the second in the heat of the moment, head and heart. There was no negotiation. He knew first hand how shitty it was to go into a mission without support, albeit you did have ‘support’, yes- but it was a matter of if the goddamn CO would agree.

‘I’m not asking. That is one of our best agents tied up in there and you’re not gonna find another.’ To anyone else that tone alone would have them pissing their pants running under Redfield’s control, maybe this was why everyone was always cleaning up after him.

‘I’m going in.’ He mumbled, a stern one, signalling to his team to pack it forwards beyond their assigned parameters.

‘Patch me through.’ The next thing you know, your name is repeated frantically over the comms. Redfield’s voice is stern, searching, worrisome, but stern in his best I-am-your-captain commandment way. As his voice became more desperate you managed to free a hand for the radio.

‘Chris you better turn the fuck around.’ You groaned through your teeth, dropping down to your knees behind a collapsed brick wall. There was currently a wave of bioterrorist minions on your six and a massive B.O.W making its way through the maze of collapses infrastructure ready to pull you head off your neck the moment you’re seen in the line of fire. They had dogs two, all three parties together would be more than the current BSAA deployment had issued in the area and the next few surrounding countries. It amazes you how much terrorism groups can out number the fucking military, how many people are willing to sign themselves up to suicide compared to those who enlist in the army. They’re probably not cowards like the rest of the world that’s for sure.

‘I can get you my final intel order but if you fucking surpass that parameter-‘

‘I am not leaving you out there.’

‘I’m dead! I’m fucking dead Chris!’

The line goes silent, you can hear him thinking over the static of the radio. He had no purpose in sending rescue, you were a valuable asset, but the job was finished and there was enough evidence for the FBC to deploy troops to other locations and carry out necessary protocols to prevent whole countries from collapsing. The South American sun was starting to get its way with you, there was dust thickening through the air and you could hear firing in the near distance, which was enough for you to pull yourself up from you current location. Shots fired, straight your way and heard through the radio. You were scrambling for shelter around this abandonment of a city block, you shad two magazines left which you knew wouldn’t last for nearly enough time before an evac squad gets here.

Washington DC

Joint Base Andrews

12:30PM

2009

The pilot had just announced takeoff over the PA system. You watched the runway shrink into small grey veins over patchy land as the plane gained altitude. You could also see Leon’s impulsive leg tapping in your peripheral vision, his eyes settled in examining your body language as you pretended not to notice. His arms were crossed, disinterested by anything outside or in the cabin as his mind was purely focused on figuring you out. Out of annoyance, you turn your head, dropping your hand which was once propping your chin up, onto the armrest by the window.

‘What?’ You blinked at Leon.

‘Nothing, you look tired.’ He simply shrugs. Well that’s little to say for someone who’s been peeling your complexion apart for the past five minutes. You don’t respond, dropping your gaze to his bouncing leg, which stops upon your eyes settling on it. Your hand was now wrapped tightly around the bulge of the armrest, fingers slowly digging into the fabric and picking at the seams. Something about Leon’s all-too-understanding way of looking at you just didn’t sit right. He wasn’t one to remind you of your troubles but in every way, he did, and you can’t blame him for that. A faint rustling sound traveled towards you as he shifted in his seat, now more relaxed as his head hung back towards the headrest, still arms crossed and looking at you softly. Oh how you wished a little turbulence would break up this awkward exchange, you couldn’t argue that there was anything interesting other than fogs of cloud infecting your view.

Three hours into the flight and it was approaching night across the time zones. You’d irresponsibly gone through two glasses of rum and coke to ease your nerves, to which earned you a scoff and hum of amusement from Leon. Thought he was insistent on getting more than three words out of you, there was nothing he could do about your isolated bitterness and he figured that you’d melt along with time. You watched as the sky had lost its sunset, turning into an inevitable, cartoonish night.

‘Get some sleep will you?’

No answer, you pouted and went back to staring out the window. The emptiness plagued the entire sky and all that could be seen was the annoying red eye on the wing of the plane. Leon pushed his following words back into his throat, and left it at that for the rest of the evening before your subsequent arrival. You watched as he quietly dozed off for the next two hours, leaving you with a sense of peripheral comfort.

AN: this chapter is a little slow i know, it’s getting there. I’m also trying to keep my formatting consistent but I’m not sure how well that’s working atm 😂

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

I just noticed...

Warner Bros. has recently dated their all-animated adaptation of THE CAT IN THE HAT... March 6, 2026...

This is the first of their new "Warner Bros. Pictures Animation" initiative, the plan being to have two animated films out every calendar year.

All jokes about this movie possibly being shelved and turned into a tax write-off aside (I don't think any animated movie is safe under the Zas), that's the same day as...

An untitled Pixar movie...

Pixar currently has two animated movies set for 2026, one on this date, and in June. June presumably goes to TOY STORY 5, which is - at this point, per Disney CEO Bob Iger - eyeballing 2026. It being the summer release is a given, I feel. TOY STORY 3 and 4 were June releases in their respective release years, 1 & 2 were Thanksgiving frame releases... Walt Disney Pictures claimed 3/6/2026 first.

Games of chicken in animated movie scheduling are nothing new, in fact... Some high profile animated movies used to open head to head. THE LITTLE MERMAID vs. ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN in 1989, OLIVER & COMPANY vs. THE LAND BEFORE TIME in 1988, A BUG'S LIFE just a few days within release of THE RUGRATS MOVIE in 1998, you get the idea. They don't do that kind of thing now, though... Unless the demographics are wildly different.

But I wonder who blinks. The Pixar movie set for this date is most likely an original movie (it's not "Ducks", that appears to be a hoax), which are playing a different game at the box office these days. Open low (like, say, ELEMENTAL last year w/ $29m) and then leg it out to a solid gross... THE CAT IN THE HAT, on the other hand, is based on a beloved Dr. Seuss book... Which happened to have a live-action version preceding it, which itself was preceded by a half-hour animated TV special...

Just like...

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS and THE LORAX.

Those movies opened with $67m and $70m respectively. So, I think CAT IN THE HAT is primed to have a pretty good opening weekend come 2026. That is, if it makes it to the finish line and avoids the dreaded beast at the end of the castle, and makes it out alive.

As for the Pixar original, that's a little trickier to predict. ELEMENTAL was the first original Pixar in theaters following shut-downs in 2020. Its $29m opening is on the higher end of non-sequel animated movies released over the past couple of years, though it was foolishly written off. Legs, of course, came to the rescue. ELIO is the next original, which I think could gross around there. Maybe less, because it's an animated sci-fi story. Could be another case of STRANGE WORLD, TREASURE PLANET, etc. Whatever the 2026 original is, the box office prospects are up in the air...

It all boils down to who blinks.

One of them will have to try out February, maybe around Valentine's Day. Probably the Warner movie. Easter's locked up by the MARIO sequel. Not like February can't work for a family-friendly animated movie, look at THE LEGO MOVIE.

Interestingly, Pixar's been trying to do this 2-a-year every other year thing. 2020 had ONWARD open in March, and if plans worked out, SOUL in June. ONWARD got cut right off by COVID's outbreak, SOUL went straight to Disney+. In 2022, TURNING RED went straight to D+ in March, LIGHTYEAR went to theaters in June. This year was supposed to be that situation, too, with ELIO being out this month being followed by INSIDE OUT 2 in June... But ELIO was delayed all the way back to June 2025.

So maybe 2026 is another one of those situations, where Pixar wants to have two movies out, but ends up rescheduling one of them. I have a feeling TOY STORY 5 stays right in its place, but it's possible that could get delayed to 2027. TOY STORY 3 was once thought to be a 2009 release, and it ended up coming out in 2010. TOY STORY 4? Two delays: From its original summer 2017 slot to summer 2018, to summer 2019.

Plus, this could aaaaall be moot within a few months. Animated movies are always moving forward and backwards.

Worth noting, this wasn't the first time Warner Bros. tried stepping on Disney's toes in one of their major corners. Right now it's with animation, last time... It was with superheroes...

That was when - in mid-2014 - an untitled CAPTAIN AMERICA movie was on the boards for May 6, 2016. A follow-up to the very well-liked CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER... (Side note: I refuse to believe that that was a decade ago. A DECADE.) Continuing on, Warner shockingly moved their BATMAN V. SUPERMAN to that same date. Later in 2014, Marvel revealed that the 2016 CAPTAIN AMERICA threequel was subtitled CIVIL WAR... Eventually, Warner conceded, and moved BATMAN V. SUPERMAN up a few paces, to March 25, 2016.

So, we'll see how this one goes... Or if both of them vacate the premises...

[desultory-suggestions]

it's been hard for some time for me. Weeks, months, the past 3 years. I am not finding any reason to hold on, to hang in there and it's so fucking hard. People say 'it was meant to be' and that feels like a knife, i don't know if all this pain, this intense struggle is meant for me, im 18 years old, I have an exam in 2 days, which is going to decide my entire life and I'm crying here trying to find reason to simply stay in this goddamn planet and coming up with nothing and it's so fucking hard . Above all I want to do well in this test, desperately, but my mind is so fucked up right now it's honestly so hard to simply stay right here, and I feel like I'm going to mess up my life by myself and isn't that so fucking unfair because I want this so MUCH and everything decides to go shit right now when it matters

I'm so sorry for unloading all this on you

Hello, love. Thank you for reaching out. I know in times like this things can feel so hopeless, and it can become completely overwhelming to handle without some reassurance and support. First things first, no matter what happens with your test your worth will not change. You are a whole being, you are loved and you are important. You deserve joy in your life, and I know beyond this difficult period of your life there is so much love waiting to be found.

I'm going to assume this is an educational test, but please let me know if I am wrong. As someone with extremely specific goals that I want to achieve, I know how you can be swept up into how this is your purpose, how it is all that matters, and how any deviation from the plan will ruin it. I can also tell you that none of that has to be true. I planned my college education to a T. I knew exactly where to go, what degree, what specific field, and what timeline. That didn't happen. At first, it did, but life gets in the way and I got thrown off my track. I felt like my world was ending. If I couldn't do this, why should I even be here? But after all of that panic, I'm doing better than I ever was before. I still have the same goals, and while I am disappointed at times that my plan didn't work out I also have so many opportunities to appreciate that I never would have had otherwise. This is where it is so vital to separate your worth from one goal. If you fail the first time, you can try again, you can take a new route, and have a much better experience! But if your worth is based on how well you can do this specific thing, any hiccup will throw you for a loop. You are worth more than your accomplishments. You have your own unique experience, ideas, and interests. You have hobbies, friends, and personal goals. You are only 18, and you have so much life ahead of you to decide to do anything you want. You will grow and change in ways you can't even imagine today, and that is a beautiful thing.

But all of this aside, one thing is the most important. Your life matters, and if you are struggling with feeling depressed or even suicidal the most important thing is not any tests or achievements but getting the help you need. If you aren't healthy it will be infinitely harder to get through what otherwise you could do with enjoyment. Therapy is a vital tool for those struggling with depression, especially if there are factors such as adverse life events or traumatic experiences that may exacerbate the issue. Support groups are also a good option for those who need emotional support throughout their life, and often you can find a group for a very specific niche. I know that at this point it probably feels like it will never get better, but I promise that is not the case. With support and patience healing is possible. Reach out to those you are close with and explain honestly how you are feeling. Having comfort from those we love may not erase our struggles, but it can offer a space to breathe and feel safe. Little things will help you get through the bad days, and that's okay. Staying alive for your pet, your plant, that new show, a tasty food, or anything at all is a good reason.

You have a bright and happy future ahead of you. No one test will take away the years of wonderful experiences and love you will have. Please feel free to reach out for support at any time, whether it's for emotional support or educational advice. You are loved, you are important, and you will get through these difficult times.

-Evan

[dollmoth-productions]

Chapter 3 the tragedy

⚠️TW OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR AND DRUGGING DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS ITS NOT HEALTHY ⚠️

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It has been a few weeks since the bear-hugger's death and Moth hasn't even left their house. They were in a state of mental distress, and it was obvious. Everyone suspected it was just another suicide. Although Bates was trying to comfort them, ‌he was feeling guilty especially since he knew how close math and Bear Hugger were. Honestly, he was just hoping that this would all be worth it and Joe would be a fantastic boyfriend. But deep down he knew what he was doing was wrong deep down he knew Joe would be terrible he just desperately wanted Joe to care for them and treat them like they were just amazing people because they are.

Although they haven't left their house in weeks, Motj had continued to talk with everyone to make sure that they were alive although they were just so sad they knew they had to stay strong. They knew nothing was bringing him back, so they went out with Naomi again. Honestly, they got very giddy around her. Joe is almost an afterthought, although they were still crushing on him. They couldn't help but feel a strong connection towards Naomi. They could have been just because they were both trying to get a history degree or both of them were falling in love. Joe could tell the signs that someone was falling in love because he often felt them all the time when he was around his darling. But some filthy, disgusting creature was trying to take them Away.

But there was one thing on Leonora's mind: self-defense. The one person that he knew that had as much about guns was Hans and she was a little nervous to ask him especially since she didn't know what gun to actually use. She was nervous to say the least but she didn't feel safe with Joe walking around especially around her friends especially since the deaths that happened in these past weeks. Finally getting upon a huge house. It had a German flag on it and she instantly knew who it was. She gently knocked on the door. Finally after a while Hans open the door and smiled " Guten Tag Leonora! " she smiled hesitantly" hello Hans I have a small question for you?" Hans gently tilted his head " I want you to teach me how to shoot a gun…"

"Was?"

" I want you to teach me how to shoot a gun I'm scared of what this guy is doing and I'm so scared for moth and my friends safety"

Hans turned away and allowed her to enter his house. Immediately when she entered she heard loud tweeting noises repeatedly and different patterns " are you listening to bird noises.

" do you listen to bird noises"

"Nein I own a bird sanctuary would you like to see"

She smiled and followed Hans into this greenhouse-like area filled with multiple Birds. Suddenly a large Hawk landed on top of Hans's shoulder

" hello sugarbeat!" He said they were very gentle. Leonora stared at the beautiful bird to be honest she kind of knew that Hans took care of birds but not birds like this the Hawk was very affectionate towards Hans. Before it flew right next to her and made a very obvious coo noise to be honest she was scared but mostly fascinated. She was lost in a trance before she heard a slight chuckle " she likes you…" he made a whistle noise for sugarbeet to go away and just on command she did. She couldn't help but smile even in a situation as dark as this she could admire the beauty of something so interesting " sorry I didn't know that you own Birds"

" I have owned Birds since the ending of the war to cope with my trauma shell shock can really get you but my darling sugar beet has helped me through it all my life Mary Noel gave gave her to me although this is not the original sugarbeat I still love her' Hans said in a little bit of a sad tone even after all these years where shell shock was no longer used as the term for PTSD he still used that label he seemed to be slightly out of touch with modern slang or Modern Health in general. Although after all this he was still very healthy and still very strong even if he's over a century old but it didn't change her mind that she needed to do this" and about me learning how to you know shoot I I just"

"Nein you don't need to tell me anything my friend you are family"

She couldn't help but smile at this she started following Hans around the area finally opening the door to this huge backdrop of land. To be honest she kind of suspected him to be rich but not this rich. He let her to mini shooting range that he had and handed her a simple handgun " now I'm going to teach you the basics it's very important that you hold the gun right and not below any of your fingers off because let me tell you it's not very pretty" although he was laughing it was more nervous. Several hours went by as Hans was teaching her how to shoot a gun before they knew the sun had a ground and he smiled. He couldn't help but gently rub her head as a sign of affection.

" you did fantastic my darling let me make you a special drink as a reward-" he was cut off as he heard a large shriek. It wasn't human, it was a bird. For the first time Leonora had actually seen him scared he dropped his Cane and started limping towards the bird sanctuary as fast as he could. It was obvious that he was grunting and in pain but she quickly dropped the gun and picked up the cane walking into the bird sanctuary with him. The lights had been shot out and he started looking around hesitantly. It was a mess, everything was shot out, leaves were ripped out, food was destroyed. And most importantly sugar beet had been shot fatally. And by the way she was shot it would be a very painful death. The person who had shot sugar beets purposely did it so Hans would have to kill sugarbeet. He gently picked up sugar beet and hugged the hawk very close to his chest. He felt tears go down his face as he gently placed the bird and a headlock and snapped the neck. He couldn't help but cry. He loved that bird. He couldn't help but feel the tears rush down his face. He wished this was all a dream. Everything was silent. As the wind slowly faded out there was small footsteps leading towards the town. Bates was smiling as he had finally done something that would earn his best friends respect. Nothing would get in the way of this and nothing would ruin this. Joe would surely let him be his best friend and help him make the perfect match for him in the mall so then they would live happily ever after he knew that this was the right thing to do.

Bates looked side to side hoping to find his best friend before he knew it he stumbled upon Joe he was going on his nightly Patrol. He immediately ran up to him and hugged him which caused a small noise of disgust to radiate off of Joe almost like it was some disgusting monster hugging him not his best friend. But he could tell Bates had something to say " what is it Bartholomew?" Bates instantly smiled and told Joe what he did. He smiled so wide it was incredible. And for the first time Joe hugged him back very tight Bates couldn't help but hug back finally feeling safe and loved once the hug was over he smiled. And gently rubbed the top of Bates head before walking away. He couldn't help but smile at the idiocy of Bates slowly pulling his hand from behind his back as he was holding a bottle of chloroform. He smiles so wide this was his Gateway for his darling.

He planned for this for too long but he first needed get rid of their stupid girlfriend. As much as he would enjoy killing her he thought of a more Twisted way of doing things. Oh yes this would be the perfect Sweet Revenge on this little Naomi not for his darling though it would be a little twisted. He just couldn't help but smile thinking of what he might do as he was walking to his house. It was almost like a strut like he was walking on stage after winning an award. He pulled out one of his favorite weapons, the shotgun. He especially liked it when he went hunting and hunting he will go. Honestly he thought of the perfect plan if he could just distract the two most annoying people that are in his way he could get his darling. But he needed to wait. This plan would only make sense if he just waited. Until finally he saw his Target and smiled and fired his gun. He smiled at his prey before he dragged the animal away and took out a butcher knife quickly getting rid of anything that wasn't useful. He walked around and noticed the restaurant he walked in holding a key he walked around noticing the kitchen lights were on and he smiled he pulled out his butcher knife again and went to the power breaker quickly cutting the wires that had all the power.

Leonora and Hans were cut off. It was strange normally the power would be on until 3:00 a.m. unless it was a bar night. It was most peculiar but Hans didn't mind he knew how to deal with Darkness so he was calming down Leonora he was cut off by hearing a loud bang he was completely terrified he tried not to be scared whenever his family friends or any wasn't danger or was scared but why was he so scared why couldn't he move he needed to move he had to move why couldn't he move. It was almost like he was stuck in place he tried his best to calm down before he heard a pot slam and he quickly crouched to the floor trying to calm down his breath was raspy he couldn't understand why he was so scared why couldn't he just move why couldn't he move why was he so scared. He couldn't help but feel clammy. He tried his best to calm down as Leonora was trying to discover what the problem was. She wished she could stay by Hans but she knew at this moment he was terrified and she couldn't risk getting hurt herself. She walked out of the room with her phone using it as a flashlight. She slowly panned it across the room before she saw a familiar figure with orange hair.

She screamed as loud as she could before she jumped back and she felt something hit her head as she passed out. Joe couldn't help but laugh at her cowardice. It was hilarious seeing someone that was supposed to be so strong acting like a coward honestly this is what he expected for someone like her. He slowly walked away happy at what he did; he liked making people afraid. It was hilarious to me he couldn't care less about the people that he harmed. He backed away checking if there were any permit violations since he knew that this would be on security but nothing was the matter. She was alive unfortunately but she will continue to live. Whether he liked it or not. He just wondered how he could get his darling all to himself. He just wanted them to caress them, maybe make them bleed a little bit but he just wanted them as his wife.

Once he was outside the restaurant he threw his prey over his shoulder looking excitedly getting ready to debone this disgusting abomination.

A few hours later Leonora finally was awake. She couldn't help but feel fidgety. Why was Joe in the restaurant after hours and how did he have a key? But most importantly did he harm Hans. She ran into the kitchen before she saw Hans in the corner holding something it looked to be his Cane or a knife but he was obviously having a panic attack or something he kept her distance but try to make sure he was grounded in reality it took around 40 to 50 minutes but he was back he looked like he was crying. She sat to him , gently caressing his hands. They were old wrinkled scarred one of his hands missing three of his fingers. She wished she could help him more but he was old and stubborn. She was in her own head as she heard him say very gently.

" Leonora I need you to do me a favor

" What Hans?"

" If anything happened to me or Anton you need to take care of moth I don't trust what's going on here although I am tough for my age, I know I will probably die if anything happens to me of this severity again….."

Leonora pondered for a few seconds before she gingerly helped him up and gave him back his Cane" I swear on my life"

He smiled but it faltered slightly" I don't know if I mentioned this before but have you seen Naomi recently she's been missing for a few days even though she's with Moth at the moment I don't think they have seen her either"

They both looked at each other for a small bit before getting a worried expression they hoped no they prayed hoping that if not anything Joe had not found her yet. Leonora especially knowing what Joe is capable of scared her the most.

" You go home I'll deal with everything please" His voice wavered almost hesitantly but they knew It would be the best idea even in his old age he had the most fighter experience out of everyone.

Leonora Walked out of the restaurant looking around hesitantly Something felt off like something bad will happen but yet some Soon not tonight but soon

She walked off finally looking into a convenience store seeing a very very Sad moth. They looked so Gray per se like all the color had drained from them felt like it was the best idea To let them stay with her tonight. She hesitantly walked in and tapped them on the shoulder

“Hey moth” she said gently they look so numb so tired she wish she could fix it somehow” you want to come over to my house for a bit”

“…. Yeah I would like that.” they smiled, and started walking with Leanora” things have been crazy the past few days it feels good to finally be able to relax you know”

Leanora knew that her friend needed to relax and once they got to her house they just kind of talked for the night about what was happening who they thought was causing all the death “ I don’t know to be honest I don't know who's causing it. Who do you think is Leo?”

She couldn’t help but pause for a few seconds before she decided to see who she thought I was doing it” Joseph…..”

“ Joe really, but he’s so nice”

“ Moth he’s nice to you because he’s a little obsessed with you it scares me. Sometimes I catch him staring and it makes me concerned. Whenever you hang out. It scares me because you’re a close friend and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“ oh, my…” they look to the side wondering what do you think? What do you say? How could they were they strange for liking this man” well, I guess Shen was right”

“ He was always right. He’s just a little abrasive for people who he cares about. He’s not the smartest for explaining his emotions.”

both of them chuckled, bitterly, wondering how their close friend would react to them talking to him in this way I felt nice to get loosen no longer have to feel so sad, but something continued to tickle the back of Leanora‘s head” can you please stay the night I could be me being paranoid or anything but I feel like something bad is going to happen”

“ I can’t do you know as well as me I can’t just do that I know you’re concerned I know you are but I would love to just go home and relax for a bit you know?”

“….yea just please be safe”

“ I promise plus I’m tough” They said gently, punching her shoulder. They both laughed for a small time before Moth picked up their items and started walking out. It felt nice to finally get out and feel happy for once they continue to walk not really knowing where they were going or how long will it take to get back to their apartment.

Moth started walking down the alleyway that was the fastest way to get to their apartment. They started walking before they heard footsteps behind them, and they quickly turned around.

Nothing

It’s always nothing is good. They started walking again slowly, taking faster. steps. finally, they turned around again seeing nothing,

Nothing

Thank God it’s nothing

They started walking again before they felt their arm roughly pour into a tight grasp. Something put over their nose and mouth. It smells awful; it smells of chemicals. They tried to fight back, But the person who was holding them down was much stronger, much more strongly.

Moth started going in and out of consciousness; they wanted it out; they wanted to stay awake. They couldn’t. Moth finally started drifting in and out of consciousness, only seeing a blurred vision.

Of orange hair.

   . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sorry for fucking dying

I plan on doing a series of one shots by the way to describe the life between moth and Joe it's not gonna be pretty but it's it's gonna be exciting because I genuinely really do love this story it's just I suffer from writer's block and being an idiot

Any way Sorry if it's shitty I had to deal with a new microphone on my tablet and I'm using my phone to write for the moment because I like that microphone better

I swear I still wanna continue this story I'm just an idiot That doesn't know when to stop playing game

I'm blaming miitopia

Star Mika belongs to @cyrah-is-cool101

Bates belongs to @pupcakedoesstuff

Adarna belongs to @nesssblog

[deadendsave]

Delilah Hodges’ Journal (3)

1: It’s been a year. I still haven’t been able to contact my parents. I eventually gave up and accepted the fact that they’re probably never coming back for me. I really hope they’re still alive. If I knew they were, I’d be relieved. But I don’t think I could ever forgive them for leaving me for so long. I’m trying to not resent them, but it’s hard.

2: 18th birthday. I made it to adulthood. I remember I used to get so excited about birthdays, now it’s hard to get through them. It’s not fair that I get to keep growing older, and Quinn’s always gonna be 15. I know she wouldn’t want me feeling this way, but I can’t help it. I’m tired of being guilty for having these feelings. I’m guilty because I feel like I should be happier. I don’t know why I do this to myself.

3: Quinn, my old camp, my parents, the bar looters. It’s all changed me so much. I miss being happy. I try to pretend to be in front of Todd and Linda. I don’t wanna seem ungrateful for everything they do for me. I slip up sometimes though, Linda notices the most. I always tell her I’m fine, I’m just tired.

4: On a more positive note, a lot’s happened since I filled up my last journal. I’ve read so many books. Some were great, some were… not so great. Most of the “classics” are boring to me. There’s still a lot of reading to do, I’ve barely scratched the surface of all that the bookstore has to offer. I’ve also been (very slowly) improving my hunting skills. Still not great, but I’m getting there. I learned how to drive Todd’s truck. He won’t let me drive without him being in the passenger seat because he’s super protective over it.

5: Todd and Linda surprised me by cleaning out the apartment above the bookstore. I have my own space now! No more sleeping on the couch. It’s got water and electricity, it’s a little faulty though. The lights flicker a lot. But still! My own place! I’m gonna start decorating with all of the time times things I’ve collected.

6: Someone showed up at the bar this morning. For a minute, I thought it was my parents. Nope. Just some guy covered in blood. He said his name was Mitch. He’s not much older than me. He’s the youngest person I’ve come across since… never mind. So far he’s been nice, I don’t trust him though. I want to, but people pretend to be good all the time. What if he’s just pretending?

7: Great, he’s gonna be staying with us. I don’t think that’s a good idea. It would be wrong to just kick him out on the street, but still. He said he was alone. He could be lying. What if he has friends and they’re just waiting for their signal to barge in and attack us. I know Todd is watching him like a hawk but I’m still not comfortable. He could be just like those people that showed up last year.

8: Last year, a young couple came to the bar pretending they needed help. They actually just wanted to take everything we had, including our home. What Todd had to do was terrible, but he didn’t have a choice. The man grabbed me and said he wanted to “keep me.” I felt so disgusted. We would’ve helped them with whatever they needed if they would’ve just asked. I’m scared Mitch is gonna be just like them.

9: I’ve been avoiding Mitch as much as possible this past week. I don’t want to come off as a bitch, I could be nicer. The old me would’ve been, but things change. Linda’s been trying to ask him all about his life, he says there’s nothing worth talking about. What is he hiding?

10: I’m not as good as keeping up with journaling anymore. Here’s an update though. Turns out, Mitch is actually pretty cool. I’m still hesitant to get too close, but he’s a nice friend to have around. I enjoy his company. He found an old guitar, he’s been playing songs for me. He’s not that bad. Plus, I’m realizing he’s kinda cute.

11: Mitch knocked on my door last night, said he couldn’t sleep. I let him in my apartment, and we sat and talked on the balcony all night. At first, it was just awkward small talk. Then he asked me why I had so many ocean-themed things. I told him all about my fascination with the ocean and marine life. I got a little embarrassed and apologized for nerding out and talking so much. He said it was cool though. I think he was just being nice.

12: Mitch came back over this morning, said he found a few things I might like while he was out hunting with Todd. He handed me a tiny lighthouse statue. I wanted to cry, it was just such a sweet gesture. It meant he was actually listening to me. He also handed me a box. Inside was a bracelet kit. That’s when I really had a hard time fighting back the tears. He said he figured I might want to make a new one since the one on my wrist was so old. I feel like that was Quinn’s way of letting me know it’s okay to let him in.

13: I said I’d only wear a new one if he made it and pinky promised me to always wear the one I make him. He laughed at first, but we sat down and made each other bracelets. I took the one Quinn made me off. Mitch was right, it was getting old. I didn’t want to end up breaking it or losing it. I’ll keep it somewhere safe.

14: I told him all about my parents and Quinn. It was hard to talk about them out loud. Mitch told me about his mom though. I can’t even imagine what it was like to have to do that to her. I could see the pain in his eyes as he was talking about it. He looked like he was reliving it. I didn’t know what to say so I just held his hand hoping it would help. I don’t know if it did though.

15: Mitch took me out during the day to practice my shooting skills. I kept getting frustrated, but he was really patient with me. When we were walking back home we saw something in the distance. I got freaked out. It looked like a person. When Mitch went to go investigate, there was nothing there.

16: Mitch surprised me with a turntable and some records there were in (almost) perfect condition, just a little dusty. He was so excited, he looked like he couldn’t wait to give them to me. We set up the turntable and put on some music. I made him dance with me. We both sucked, but we didn’t care. He leaned in and kissed me. I was nervous but it felt right. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt content.

17: Before Mitch, i couldn’t really wrap my head around the whole love thing. It just seemed so complicated. But i get it now. It’s nothing like what I’ve read in books. It’s more simple than that but it’s real and it’s raw. It’s the warm, comforting feeling I get when I’m with him. It doesn’t have to be anything else. That’s enough for me.

dialogue note, delilah’s apartment:

Mitch: This scar makes me ugly.

Delilah: Hey, at least you’re still alive. Plus I think it makes you look kinda badass.

Mitch: Badass? I look like one of the sick.

Delilah: Well, I don’t think you do. And you’re not ugly! Not that looks really should matter that much anymore. I don’t know why we still care about things like that. It’s kind of silly when you think about it.

Mitch: Thanks, but I know you’re just saying that to make me feel better.

Delilah: I’m not! I think you’re beautiful. I really mean it.

Mitch: Oh, so you think… I’m beautiful? 😏

Delilah: Shut the fuck up! Don’t make me regret saying that.

[dailychapel]

Acts 20:1–38 NLT - 1 When the uproar was over, Paul sent for the believers and encouraged them. Then he said good-bye and left for Macedonia. 2 While there, he encouraged the believers in all the towns he passed through. Then he traveled down to Greece, 3 where he stayed for three months. He was preparing to sail back to Syria when he discovered a plot by some Jews against his life, so he decided to return through Macedonia. 4 Several men were traveling with him. They were Sopater son of Pyrrhus from Berea; Aristarchus and Secundus from Thessalonica; Gaius from Derbe; Timothy; and Tychicus and Trophimus from the province of Asia. 5 They went on ahead and waited for us at Troas. 6 After the Passover ended, we boarded a ship at Philippi in Macedonia and five days later joined them in Troas, where we stayed a week. 7 On the first day of the week, we gathered with the local believers to share in the Lord's Supper. Paul was preaching to them, and since he was leaving the next day, he kept talking until midnight. 8 The upstairs room where we met was lighted with many flickering lamps. 9 As Paul spoke on and on, a young man named Eutychus, sitting on the windowsill, became very drowsy. Finally, he fell sound asleep and dropped three stories to his death below. 10 Paul went down, bent over him, and took him into his arms. "Don't worry," he said, "he's alive!" 11 Then they all went back upstairs, shared in the Lord's Supper, and ate together. Paul continued talking to them until dawn, and then he left. 12 Meanwhile, the young man was taken home unhurt, and everyone was greatly relieved. 13 Paul went by land to Assos, where he had arranged for us to join him, while we traveled by ship. 14 He joined us there, and we sailed together to Mitylene. 15 The next day we sailed past the island of Kios. The following day we crossed to the island of Samos, and a day later we arrived at Miletus. 16 Paul had decided to sail on past Ephesus, for he didn't want to spend any more time in the province of Asia. He was hurrying to get to Jerusalem, if possible, in time for the Festival of Pentecost. 17 But when we landed at Miletus, he sent a message to the elders of the church at Ephesus, asking them to come and meet him. 18 When they arrived he declared, "You know that from the day I set foot in the province of Asia until now 19 I have done the Lord's work humbly and with many tears. I have endured the trials that came to me from the plots of the Jews. 20 I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear, either publicly or in your homes. 21 I have had one message for Jews and Greeks alike--the necessity of repenting from sin and turning to God, and of having faith in our Lord Jesus. 22 "And now I am bound by the Spirit to go to Jerusalem. I don't know what awaits me, 23 except that the Holy Spirit tells me in city after city that jail and suffering lie ahead. 24 But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus--the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. 25 "And now I know that none of you to whom I have preached the Kingdom will ever see me again. 26 I declare today that I have been faithful. If anyone suffers eternal death, it's not my fault, 27 for I didn't shrink from declaring all that God wants you to know. 28 "So guard yourselves and God's people. Feed and shepherd God's flock--his church, purchased with his own blood--over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you as elders. 29 I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. 30 Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following. 31 Watch out! Remember the three years I was with you--my constant watch and care over you night and day, and my many tears for you. 32 "And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance with all those he has set apart for himself. 33 "I have never coveted anyone's silver or gold or fine clothes. 34 You know that these hands of mine have worked to supply my own needs and even the needs of those who were with me. 35 And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" 36 When he had finished speaking, he knelt and prayed with them. 37 They all cried as they embraced and kissed him good-bye. 38 They were sad most of all because he had said that they would never see him again. Then they escorted him down to the ship.

[peaxhxhair]

Hi, I'm writing to you because I wanted to make a request for the sandman, more specifically for dream/morpheus x male reader. Since I realize that there is almost nothing of morpheus x male reader.

I would like the reader to be the son of Lucifer and for him to be the husband of Morpheus. That at first, despite being the son of Lucifer, he is someone quite sweet, but when her husband is imprisoned, the reader changes and the reader leaves the kingdom of dreams and returns to hell. I would like them to meet again later when morpheus looks for his helmet in hell. I could make it a nice reunion, with tears of happiness, etc.

I hope I have not bothered you.

Pairing: Morpheus x Male!Reader

Summary: After a century, two lovers reunite.

Warnings: Slight Angst & Fluff

Words Count: 1.1K

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting this! I had a little bit of trouble writing this, but I think it turned out okay!

The Sandman - Masterlist

Consider buying me a coffee! <3

It had been over a year since M/n had seen his husband. At first, the son of Lucifer had assumed that the king of dreams had fled, after an argument they had before Dream ventured into the waking world. Morpheus had never strayed too far from his lover, for too long anyway. Though, when he did not return, M/n had thought the worst. He assumed that their argument meant the end of their relationship. The end of their marriage.

Still, M/n was hopeful that his lover would return. He stayed in the dreaming until only he and Lucienne remained. Though, after months and years of waiting, hoping, M/n left. He returned to hell, where his mother awaited him.

She was ready to berate her son for all it was worth, however the look on his face made it difficult for her to do so. A look of heartbreak. One so different to the lovestruck eyes he carried during their wedding. Where he and Morpheus vowed to love each other until the end of time.

When M/n returned to hell, he hid himself away. Not wanting to speak with anyone, especially his mother. Lucifer may not be necessarily happy with her son’s change of personality, but she did enjoy the fact that M/n’s relationship with Morpheus seemed to be over.

M/n still remained somewhat hopeful that Morpheus would return, but that hope began to fade after eighty years. When all hope was lost, M/n wouldn’t bother to move or talk. He just couldn’t think of anything to say. He just sat in his room, withering away, his immortality the only thing that keeps him alive. Existing.

~~~

“My Love, I am trying to work” Morpheus grumbled quietly as he flipped through the journal in his hands. M/n’s head lay in his husband's lap, staring up at him as Morpheus scanned the pages, in search of something.

“And I am trying to keep you company” M/n answered, a smug grin gracing his face as he caught the other's look of brief astonishment. Although Dream never thought that he needed company, he was grateful that his lover assumed he did. Even if the H/C boy distracted him anyway, although he hadn’t done anything but sit and watch his lover work.

~~~

It took another twenty years before anyone from the dreaming heard from Morpheus, and the longer for that news to reach hell. And finally, when Morpheus showed his face to hell’s residents, the realm seemed to shake. News travels fast in hell, yet somehow, M/n remained unaware.

~~~

“I hope you’re here to apologise to him” Lucifer starts, when she finally turned to face the king of dreams. Morpheus hadn’t expected her to be so blunt in what was expected of him.

“In due time. First, I came to retrieve my helm. I believe one of your demons has it” He explains, and the scoff that leaves Lucifer's lips is the most respectful response he receives.

“He has been distraught for the past one hundred years, and the first thing you think to ask for is your helm?” Lucifer almost laughs at the reality of the situation, but Morpheus remains silent, unsure of what to say. “For that reason, I cannot return your helm. Until you prove to be the Morpheus that he claims you are” Her words made Dream reconsider what he travelled to hell for. Did he really choose to find his helm before his husband? He had thought about M/n since the day he had been captured, so what made his helm so important?

Deep down, Morpheus could feel the nerves, but he had never been the type to show emotions. So, why now? Maybe he was worried that his husband wouldn’t want to see him, or had found someone else. Someone who wouldn’t disappear for one a century without notice.

“Where can I find him?” Dream called to the ruler of hell, who had since turned her back to him. No answer was given, and after a brief moment of silence, Morpheus walked away, determined to find his lover again.

~~~

There has been a strange buzz around hell in the past few days, since the news of Morpheus’ return. Yet, M/n had not received any form of news from anyone, and was unaware of his husband's return. Yet he noticed that something had changed. He could tell that the inhabitants of hell were talking about something, he just couldn’t figure out what.

Though, as he stared out of the main window of his bedroom, a knock had sounded on his door. His mother never really had a reason to knock, and the only people who did knock had been advised to leave the boy alone.

M/n didn’t answer to the knock, instead just waiting for them to enter, or for them to leave him be. Though, when he heard his name from the other side of the door. He shot up from his seat. The sudden sound of his lover’s voice almost made him think that he had imagined it.

But, as he swung open the door, the familiar scruffy hair and all black clothes made M/n’s eyes fill with tears. “Morpheus…” M/n whispered as he stared at his husband, the tears that gathered in his eyes beginning to flow down his cheeks.

“M/n…” Dream whispered back, as he leaned forward to embrace his lover after an excruciating century. Soon enough, the couple were on the floor, as M/n had basically fallen over as he cried into his lover’s chest.

Dream was more than willing to embrace his husband again, for as long as they could.

“I thought… I thought that it was my fault” M/n managed to sniffle into dream’s shirt, and Morpheus began to rake his hands through the other’s hair, in an attempt to comfort the crying boy.

“What was your fault?” Dream asked, and waited patiently until M/n gave him an answer, drawing shapes into his lover’s sides with his fingers.

“That you left” Dream almost laughed at what his lover said, but he stopped himself so that he didn’t seem to be laughing at his very emotional husband.

“My love, I would never leave you” Morpheus reassured, taking notice of how M/n’s hands gripped his shirt harder, as if he was scared that Dream would disappear again.

“I missed you so much” M/n muttered again, leaning away from their embrace to wipe the tears from his eyes. Morpheus took the chance to place a soft kiss on M/n’s lips, and M/n smiled at the feeling.

“I missed you too. I’m sorry I was gone for so long” Morpheus said, the smallest of smiles gracing his features as he spoke. M/n didn’t have to respond to show that he had forgiven him, and Morpheus relaxed at the fact that his husband hadn’t held too much anger towards him.

“I love you M/n. So much”

“I love you too, Morpheus”

[kanencrow]

Can I request what its like dating season 3 clementine

What Would: Dating Season 3 Clementine be Like | The Walking Dead | Headcanon

A/N: Of course! Enjoy!

SUMMARY: What would it be like dating Season 3 Clementine?

WARNINGS: Fluff, some Gabe slander.

WORD COUNT: 1119

Being in a relationship with Clementine throughout the time frame where she’s on a mission of finding AJ would be a rocky one. It’s not that you and her would be arguing every given moment, but the dynamic between the two of you wouldn’t be what one would typically expect when they’re romantically involved with someone else. She’s got her mind set on finding the boy that she raised for years, and whether or not you’ve been with her for a while to personally know that, it doesn’t make things easier for either of you in the department of vulnerability. 

It takes a lot for her to actually open up and let you know that she’s struggling both mentally and emotionally. Even though you’re with her, she can’t help but feel alone, and she knows that isn’t fair to you, but it’s easier for her to just wallow and push people away than to swallow her pride and ask for help. So, most of the time, when she does let you know how she’s feeling, it’s ninety percent of the time because you were the one who went out of their way to pester her. Of course, you don’t push her to the point where she feels as though she has no choice but to give her heart to you. But you do make sure to remind her that she’s not alone, and that you’re there to catch her when she falls. 

It does actually help her, believe it or not. Just having that constant reassurance that you’re there to guide her away from the darkness of her own thoughts and feelings. It aids her in being able to recognize the more negative aspects of herself. Unconsciously, you just existing and loving her for her imperfections helps her with maturing and not feeling so bitter towards the people she’d otherwise find herself hating. It’s really just amazing to know that you’re there to stay, and you don’t plan on leaving. 

You’re stubborn, like her, and she loves you for that. 

Now, Clementine isn’t always so downtrodden about losing AJ. She knows she’ll find him, especially after you made sure to remind her that you would stop at nothing until he’s back in her arms. Sometimes, you’ve got those days where you feel a bit down about all the crappy stuff you faced throughout your years of life. Just like you, she’ll be the one to catch you when you fall into a state of discontent. Sure, she may have her mind mostly focused on finding her boy, but he isn’t the only person that’s extremely important to her. You’re super important to her, too. And she hates the fact that your brain likes to bring up past trauma, just to test you and hurt you. 

She knows that you’re your own worst enemy sometimes. 

And vice versa, of course. 

But you both have each other.

Like, when David comes along and tries to rile up the group that you and Clementine found yourselves a part of. You have her back, and she has yours. But you mainly have to hold her back, just so she doesn’t actually pounce on the military man and kill him. I mean, you wouldn’t blame her, but vengeance isn’t always worth it in the end. And she comes to quickly realize that when he ends up admitting that AJ is somewhere safe and alive. Although, none of you were able to figure out where, when circumstances decided to bare their teeth and become a present problem. 

Just the knowledge that AJ was confirmed to be alive and somewhere safe helped mellow out your girlfriend quite a bit. She was still a bit iffy on affection, because y’know, she had never been in a relationship before, but she does eventually come to be more prone to holding your hand in front of other people, and just physically affectionate in general. Especially in front of Gabe, because he just can’t seem to take the hint that she’s taken, and you’re the one who’s committed to her. 

“Do you see the way he looks at you? And he acts like I’m not standing right there, clearly holding your hand!” You crossed your arms over your chest and furrowed your eyebrows as though you were some grumpy child who had gotten their toy taken away because of their bad behavior. It was a sight Clementine could only roll her eyes playfully at, as an amused chuckle slipped past her lips. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I see his stares,” she confirmed with a nod of her head, not at all excited about the fact. “But I’m with you, and you’re with me, and I don’t even like him, so stop worrying that he’s gonna somehow sweep me off my feet. Trust me, he won’t.” She smirked lovingly at your clear jealousy, and all you could do in response to her words was grumble and look down at your feet, suddenly feeling embarrassed about your own behavior. 

“Okay, well… he’s still annoying.”  

“Oh, trust me, I know.” 

Jealousy aside, you and her learn how to drive together. You both don’t have the faintest idea how the entire concept works, but eventually the two of you come to figure it out. Whether or not you guys are good at driving – that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you guys can go from point A to point B. And… neither of you are dead, so that has to count for something, right? And besides, it’s not like road laws really exist anymore anyways. 

Your relationship with Clementine really blooms after you and her find AJ, though. It helps her come to the realization that you, her, and the little boy that sleeps in the back seat of the old muscle car, make up that of a little family. You and her are the parents that work together and love each other earnestly, and little Alvin Junior is the glue that keeps you and her together, and you both would do anything for him. 

All three of you have been through a lot, especially after what happened at McCarroll Ranch, but you make sure to be the means of escape if ever those past traumatic moments come to catch up. Clementine comforts you through the nightmares or night terrors you have. You do the same with her, and you and the brunette come to AJ’s rescue when he himself wakes up from an intense and scary bad dream. You all are molded together with a bond that’s unbeatable, and nothing will ever be able to tear it apart. 

You love her and AJ.

She loves you and AJ.

And those feelings will never change.

To whoever requested this: I'm sorry it took me so long to write something up for it! Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed it!

[dahbeez]

1. "You're such a dork."

2. "Get over here, you doof."

3. "Cheeky."

4. "You're so needy."

5. "Kiss me again."

6. "You're so adorable!"

7. "Look at you... goodness, you're so cute!"

8. "I'm just so happy!"

9. "I can't stop smiling."

10. "I like that you make me laugh so much that my cheeks hurt."

11. "You are being extra sweet today."

12. "Oh, look at you!"

13. "Your eyes are so pretty."

14. "I'm really happy that you're here with me."

15. "Thank you for staying with me."

16. "I don't think I've ever loved someone this much before."

17. "I feel like I'm in the clouds when I'm with you."

18. "You're like my hero/heroine."

19. "I'm gonna tickle you if you don't come over here."

20. "My, oh my. You are such a beautiful creature."

@drink-it-write-it​

21. "Go with me?" "As long as you hold my hand."

22. "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

23. "Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooooo..." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"

24. "OH you're jealous!"

25. "Can we stay like this forever?"

26. "Please just kiss me already."

27. "I think you might be my soulmate."

28. "Sleep over? Please?"

29. "Are we on a date right now?"

30. "I think I'm in love with you."

31. "Are you flirting with me?" "You finally noticed?"

32. "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

33. "I wish we could live together already."

34. "They're so cute when they're asleep."

35. "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful."

36. "Quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

37. "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

38. "Give me attention."

39. "You met me yesterday." "Yes, and I would die for you. Next question."

40. "She's hiding behind the sofa."

41. "Did you just hiss at me?"

@wishiwasanavenger-archive​

42. "Have you kissed anyone before?"

43. "Can I kiss you?"

44. "You're not hurting me, you're not heavy. I've got you, love.” 

45. "I look at them and I just... it's like when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes."

46. "I don't... I've never... been in a relationship before and I'm going to make mistakes... I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me."

47. "You didn't tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?"

48. "You give me a reason to be better, to do better."

49. "God, you are so fucking cute."

50. "I love you, but I need you to go away because you're really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow."

51. "Oh no... they're cute."

52. "I can't talk to cute people, okay? I don't know how to flirt!"

53. "God, I love your face."

54. "Don't look at me, I'm a mess!" "I love it when you're a mess!"

55. "Please do your homework for me...? Just one time." ... "I said one time, y'know... you didn't have to start studying. Not that I'm not proud or anything."

56. "I'm already home."

57. "Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner."

58. "Stop moving! I'm going to have to start counting all over again!"

59. "I just thought that since you weren't feeling too good, this would help."

60. "I'm not kissing you in the rain! We'll catch our death!"

61. "Would it help if I stayed?"

62. "I apologise sincerely if my beautiful/handsome face has kept you up all night."

63. "God, you're pretty."

64. "Calm down, it's just a chocolate bar!"

65. "Please, tell me you brought a toothbrush?"

66. "You take the bed, you need it more than me."

67. "You're so warm!"

68. "You're freezing, Jesus!"

69. "You always look beautiful."

70. "Your hands are so small!"

71. "Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?"

72. "Now I know where half my wardrobe went."

73. "Here, let me just–" 

74. "You're really special to me."

75. "That tickles!"

76. "We only have one room left for the night..."

77. "Naps are life, okay?"

78. "I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do."

79. "I had the weirdest dream..."

80. "I got you a trophy, it's only plastic, but it's for being the best human I know."

81. "Someone keeps leaving love notes in my locker and I don't know if I should find it endearing or creepy..."

82. "I love your voice."

83. "Put me down! I can walk!"

84. "Can... can you come over?"

85. "You're the best."

86. "Can you please stop biting your lip, it's distracting."

87. "I thought you liked love songs!"

88. "I know you're not a fan of Valentine's day... I just thought that maybe I could change your mind..."

89. "You're my favourite know-it-all."

90. "That was the least romantic proposal in the entire history of proposals."

91. "I never knew you were a romantic at heart."

92. "I made it. For you. I know it's not the best, but..."

93. "Let me carry that."

94. "How do you know my favourite drink?" "I'm observant."

95. "We've known each other's for years and I don't think we've ever had a proper conversation."

96. "You're the clumsiest person I know, how did you survive past childhood?"

97. "It's always time for a milkshake."

98. "You know, humming the James Bond theme tune defeats the point of sneaking."

99. "I think your cat wants to kill me."

100. "Where have all my jumpers gone?"

101. "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

102. "Oh my God, I love you."

103. "I told you to bring a jacket."

@writings-of-a-hufflepuff​

104. "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"

105. "It's you, it always has been."

106. "You're everything I could've wanted and more."

107. "Kiss me."

108. "Home stopped being a place when you entered my life."

109. "You should probably go home." "But I'm already home."

110. "You're an idiot." "But you love me."

111. "I'd do anything for you."

112. "You took all the pillows so I'm using you as one."

113. "Stop moving and let me braid your hair."

114. "I'm so proud of you."

115. "You are my family."

116. "I'm right here."

117. "Can you just please hold me?"

118. "I'm pretty sure they're my soulmate."

119. "This reminded me of you."

120. "Your hair is really soft."

121. "Are you blushing?"

122. "Can I stay here tonight?"

123. "Because I love you."

124. "Make a wish!"

125. "I love seeing you smile."

126. "You're just a softie."

127. "You are crushing me right now."

128. "Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."

129. "Take my hand. Just trust me."

130. "You're the only thing that matters."

131. "Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

132. "Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?"

133. "Why can't I get you out of my head?"

134. "Don't let go."

135. "Stay."

@blisfvll​

136. "You smell really nice."

137. "If you steal the blanket, I'm going to put my cold feet on you."

138. "You're comfy."

139. "But I want to hear you sing."

140. "Don't get up – I'll do it."

141. "Care to give me a back scratch?"

142. "Your bed head is really cute."

143. "How about a kiss?"

144. "Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?"

145. "Are you really flirting with me right now?"

146. "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

147. "You have something in your hair, umm... do you want me to get it out?"

148. "It's nice that your voice is the first thing I heard today."

149. "This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time but– WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

150. "Wait, don't pull away... not yet."

151. "Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything."

152. "No, it's fine. I can wait until you're done talking to them."

153. "No, like... it's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

154. "I've been trying to get ready for like an hour and an half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up."

155. "I wanted to say 'I love you' for the first time without stuttering, but that failed."

156. "We could order pizza and just stay like this all day."

157. "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

158. "I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..."

@marauder-exe​

159. "It's not funny!"

160. "That wasn't suppose to happen."

161. "Hurry back."

162. "I can't take you seriously."

163. "Problem solved."

164. "That was embarrassing."

165. "It's freezing in here."

@love-me-a-good-prompt​

166. "I love you, baby."

167. "Hey, cutie."

168. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

169. "You're my world."

170. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it."

171. "You are so perfect."

172. "Marry me?"

173. "You're the best part of me."

174. "Stay here with me. For the rest of our lives."

175. "I'm speechless, you're so beautiful!"

176. "Come here, I need to hug you."

177. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right."

178. "You're the one."

@raggedy-dxctor​

179. "Well, it's the thought that counts." "Wait, no, don't take my kisses away from me!"

180. "Oh, you've started stealing my socks now?"

181. "You owe me a kiss."

182. "How did you get in here?"

183. "That's not even fair."

184. "You promised me a cookie!"

185. "Ew, that is so sappy, I might vomit."

186. "You're not very intimidating."

187. "That was, by far, the stupidest thing you've ever done."

188. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."

189. "Why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

@whcczes​

190. "I'll feel much better if you let me walk you home."

191. "Apparently, all our friends have a bet going that we end up together."

192. "You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe."

@moanlightlust​

193. "It's two in the morning and you want to cuddle?"

194. "You shine so bright it's intimidating. I love it."

195. "I'm here."

196. "What's your name again? Sorry, I just got that super weird feeling that we only see in movies, you know? Like, the whole world stopped turning and all I could see was you."

197. "I was born to be yours."

198. "Isn't it a bit too cliché?"

199. "So, you're just kissing strangers for no apparent reasons?"

200. "You'll always be my favourite person."

201. "You're making it weird, stop making it weird."

202. "There's nothing I love more than running back into your arms."

203. "I'm yours. Forever."

204. "You always know how to cheer me up."

205. "I... I lost the ring."

206. "Will you be mine?"

207. "Darling, you look perfect tonight."

208. "You saved my life."

209. "Don't give me that look. No... NO! I said no puppy dog eyes! You know I can't resist them! Argh, fine!"

210. "I missed you and your bad puns and even your horrible cooking and the way you fit perfectly against my body when we cuddle. I just really missed you."

211. "We're a team, remember?"

212. "There's no place I'd rather be than by your side."

213. "Your smile brightens the whole room."

214. "I kinda adopted a puppy behind your back... don't be mad! Look at those cute fluffy paws!"

215. "You're burning up. Guess I need to activate my nurse mode."

216. "I love you. As in more than friends, more than best friends and more than super extra best friends."

217. "I love you just the way you are."

218. "We need to kick his ass, no questions asked. You in?"

219. "Hot chocolate and cuddles? Kisses?"

220. "You make me feel pretty."

221. "You'll always be my best girl."

222. "Never hide yourself from me."

223. "Babe! There's no toilet paper!"

224. "I'll never give up on you."

225. "Do you feel that shirt? That's boyfriend material."

226. "That prank went so wrong."

227. "Care to dance, my love?"

228. "AH! You're stuck with me!"

229. "You're too good to me."

230. "Is it that time of the month?"

231. "Can I braid your hair?"

232. "It's okay to have doubts, as long as you don't let them overwhelm you."

233. "Come here! I can't stand to be so far away from you!"

234. "I got you."

235. "I wanna fall asleep next to you every night and wake up every morning with you by my side."

236. "Stop, I need to finish this!"

237. "I just wanna binge watch The Office, but it's not the same without you."

238. "Because I care about you!"

239. "I just wanted to impress you."

240. "I love you even though your breath stinks right now."

241. "Did you just puke on me?"

242. "We should get drunk and do stupid things."

243. "I always know what you're thinking about, babe. You're like an open book!"

244. "Could you sing to me?"

245. "I, uh, could you... could you play with my hair, please?"

246. "Nooooo, don't leave! I'm cold!"

247. "I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

248. "A mistletoe? Really?"

249. "Will you join me, love?"

250. "I have feelings for you."

251. "You are the reason."

252. "Take my hand, I wanna show you something..."

253. "You have a lovely name."

254. "You're my everything."

255. "You do know a lot about my blushing schedule."

@voilawind​

[caffedrine]

Rio Ortiz Chapter 12

This is mostly a summary for me - I make no promises on the accuracy of what’s happening. I’m not nearly fluent enough to get half the jokes/innuendo much less accurate plot points.    

It’s been three days since anyone at the castle has seen Silvio, and Sariel is getting very worried. The last they heard was Keith’s report that Silvio was going to the Benitoite Embassy for a business meeting, then nothing. If something has happened to Silvio, especially while he was a guest of their country, this could be very bad.  

In addition to Sariel’s efforts to locate Silvio, Nokto and Clavis are also using their respective information networks to find out more. They haven’t even been able to find out what kind of business meeting Silvio was allegedly having. Sariel has reached out to the Benitoite Embassy for more information, but they are refusing to confirm or deny that Silvio was ever inside. Then again, there is a chance that Silvio is perfectly fine, and for some reason, he has holed himself up in the Benitoite Embassy and is blocking all information about his whereabouts on purpose. Currently, until they know if Silvio is alive or dead, the kingdom of Rhodolite is in a weird limbo of not being able to do anything.

Which is how Sariel has come up with the perfect plan. Emma and Rio recently acquired a very expensive necklace on Silvio’s behalf. It would not be against the treaty between Benitoite and Rhodolite if two people employed by Silvio made a quick delivery. With how expensive the necklace is, they could probably get away with insisting on delivering it to Silvio personally, which would let the court confirm that Silvio was alive enough to receive it.

While this makes sense for the security of Rhodolite, Emma knows that it also means that they’re getting closer to unlocking Rio’s memories.

Rio leaves the decision of whether to go or not to Emma. She understands that right now, they’re doing the master/servant role, but she’s worried that approaching the Benitoite Embassy will have a negative impact on Rio’s psyche. She can go, but she asks Rio if he would be okay to accompany her.

Rio understands and appreciates that Emma is trying to be considerate of him. He tells her that he wants to stay together with her. Emma muses that Rio must be worried about her, and assures him that when things get tough, he can always rely on her. Rio gushes to Sariel how cute Emma is. Since Sariel looks weirded out by Rio, Emma assures him that she and Rio will leave right away.

If Emma had to guess what building in Rhodolite Silvio would like, it would be the Benitoite Embassy. There’s displayed artwork that must be worth as much as the jewels on Silvio’s belt, and the entire building seems to glitter. She knows that Rhodolite also takes pride in how beautiful its palace is, but based on just expense, she thinks the embassy might win.

They are greeted by the staff who assure them that they will summon Silvio posthaste. Rio confirms with the staff that Silvio is indeed present and at the embassy, which the staff readily assures him Silvio is. Emma wonders if Silvio was hiding here on purpose.

They are guided to a receiving room in a secluded section of the embassy. Once there she is sure they’re alone, Emma asks Rio to explain what is going on. Rio assures her that everything is fine, there is nothing wrong, but after 3 years, Emma already knows how to tell when he’s lying. Rio gushes that their love bond is very strong for her to tell. Emma wishes that he would stop making that joke.

Rio explains that he noticed the way the staff looked at him and was watching him. Emma realizes that several of the people they passed looked at Rio with recognition. There are more people than just Silvio who know about Rio’s past.

Rio suddenly assures Emma that no matter what, he’ll always love her.

While declarations of love aren’t unusual for Rio, this one is phrased very differently. Emma looks at Rio, who explains that she has a very gloomy expression. He wants to assure her that even if he regains his memory, his feelings toward her will not change. Moreover, he will always be her friend.

Emma remembers that once upon a time, all she wanted from Rio was friendship. Considering how long Rio has been talking about being her future husband, it’s been a while since he has spoken about the friendship that they both share. But now that he’s speaking of friendship, Emma’s heart hurts in a way it never did before.

One of the staff members brings in a tray of tea, breaking up the awkward air between them. Absentmindedly, Emma reaches out for the tea.

Rio stops her and points out that there is no silverware available on the tray. Emma recalls her lessons that it is common courtesy when serving nobles to include silverware, which would react to any present poison. Rio tells Emma that the tea is probably fine, but he should check just in case. He takes the teacup and drinks it.

Rio immediately weakens, swaying and dropping the teacup onto the couch. The remnants splash Emma’s dress and Rio fusses over it. Emma isn’t as worried about her dress as she is about Rio’s condition. Rio assures her that he is fine and starts to wipe at her dress with a cloth. He tells her that they can’t have her stay in a tea-stained dress, so they should leave right now.

Rio explains that the staff just confirmed that Silvio is in the embassy, and presumably alive and well. They can just entrust the necklace to the staff to deliver it to Silvio, they don’t have to see him personally. Besides, once he finds out that he just paid 10 billion gold coins for it, he will definitely come out, if only to personally yell at them. Emma asks if it’s okay to just not see Silvio since this was the main point of them coming, but Rio assures her that Sariel and the princes will figure something out. So, they should hurry and leave right now.

Someone new enters the room. It’s a well-dressed young man who is definitely not the embassy staff. For a while, he and Rio just stare at each other, and Emma realizes that this new person knows Rio. Then the new person breaks eye contact and assumes the demeanor of someone who was the exact opposite of Silvio. He bows respectively toward Emma and introduces himself as Emidio, the Second Prince of Benitoite. He then turns back towards Rio and expresses joy at seeing him again.

(This is Rio’s expression the entire time Emidio is in the room)

This confirms for Emma that Rio is someone high enough to be connected to both Benitoite princes. Maybe even a member of the Royal Family. Emidio is smiling happily at Rio and expresses how relieved he is to find Rio safe. With an expression that looks like he might cry, Emidio walks up to Rio. Emma wonders why this situation seems so weird and uncomfortable.

Rio abruptly grabs Emma’s hand and announces that they are leaving.

Emma is confused that Rio is ignoring Emidio, who for all purposes looks like he’s trying to have a hallmark moment. She wonders if this is Rio running away from his past again, but that doesn’t feel right to Emma either. Rio explains that the Benitoite Embassy is diplomatically immune to Rhodolite laws. Their position weakens every second they are here.

Emma realizes the hand holding hers is trembling and getting colder. A glance at his face shows that Rio’s face is getting paler by the second, and his breathing is uneven. Even Emidio notices that something’s wrong with Rio’s complexion. Rio smiles coldly at Emidio and thanks him for his concern. He asks him to pass on a message to Silvio, that Rio specifically thinks that Silvio is an asshole.

Leaving that message, Rio pulls Emma with him as he leaves the room, never making eye contact with Emidio.

When they climb into their carriage, Rio nearly collapses. His body is very cold, and Emma wants to cry. Emma realizes that it must have been the tea and wonders why the Benitoite Embassy would serve them poisoned tea. She decides to take Rio to the nearest doctor, the one in town where they used to live.

Rio laughs and tells Emma she looks concerned as if she’s about to die. Emma tells him that he’s the one dying and wishes he wouldn’t force himself to look so nonchalant about it. Rio laughs and tells her that he won’t die, he is used to drinking poison.

[animeomegas]

Omega!BNHA - dying from a broken heart

Anon:  I don't know if you do, but some aus say that a person can't sruvive after their mate dies, like they die from a broken heart. Do you have that in yours, can you write who would be most likely to die mayeb please xx

(Here is the BNHA version, I hope you enjoy! <3)

Warnings: Copious grief, allusions to suicide and suicidal behaviour

LEAST

1. Midoriya Izuku – ALIVE – He is heartbroken. He cries everyday for a solid month, relying on his friends and mother to look after him. Everyone is very patient with him but that just adds guilt to Midoriya’s already fragile mental state. In the end, he decides to make sure that whatever happened to his alpha doesn’t happen to anyone else, as much as he can. He will run fundraisers for medical research, or use his platform to raise awareness for something, whatever he feels he needs to do. He keeps something of his alpha’s on him at all time and he uses them to motivate him to save civilians, after all, that person is worth just as much to someone else as you were to him. I think that Midoriya would be likely to mate again, he’s got a lot of love to give and thrives in romantic relationships, but he will never forget the person who had such a big part in shaping who he is today.

2. Bakugou Katsuki – ALIVE – He is predictably angry at first, shouting profanities at anyone who tries to comfort him, but then he just feels lost. He takes it hard, as anyone would, pushing people away for months, and working himself down to the bone. But, at one point, he decides to dedicate his hero career to his alpha’s memory, and it makes him try harder than he’s ever tried. Soon, it becomes something positive for him, he looks after himself more and strives to better himself in healthy ways. He might mate again, although he feels doubtful that anyone could ever match him like his alpha could. If he did mate again, he would never forget his first alpha. He visits their grave on their birthday every year, and if any person courting him had a problem with that, he would drop them immediately.

3. Aizawa Shouta – ALIVE – He doesn’t stop to grieve for even a moment. He pushes on, denying himself a break, ignoring condolences, cutting off anyone who tries to inquire as to how he’s doing. He’s very harsh with any students who try to bring it up. And then his friends confront him. He’s exhausted (more so than normal) and he’s not eating so they make him sit down with them. Mic and Midnight know him better than anyone, and they easily push past his defences, and he cries until he passes out. They help him go through your stuff and get enough sleep. They cook for him and cover classes for him, so he has time to mourn. His life eventually goes back to normal, but I don’t think he would ever mate again. Once was enough for him.

4. Todoroki Shouto – ALIVE – He becomes bitter and jaded, but he does not die, he carries on in the way he always has. He takes almost no time off of work, completing his job as a hero with ruthless efficiency, following the required steps like a robot. Constantly working helps keep his mind off of the fact that his mate is no longer waiting for him to come home. Eventually, one of his friends, probably Midoriya, step up and get him a specialist therapist and help him pick out a new home so he’s not constantly reminded of his mate. He learns to cope in the end, but it takes him a very long time to mate again, if he ever does.

5. Tamaki Amajiki– ALIVE (just about) – He is completely distraught and destroyed in every way. His alpha was a part of him, and now they’re dead, he feels like he has this huge hole in his chest that can never be healed. Everything becomes too difficult for him, the only reason he gets out of bed if because it’s more painful to stay in the bed he shared with you. Mirio is the only reason Tamaki is still alive after his mate dies. He moves in with Mirio who looks after him 24/7 for almost six months, until Tamaki starts to do things for himself. It takes about a year for Tamaki to go back to work and I think it would be very hard for him to move on to another mate. Not only is he still cripplingly shy, but he also now has severe anxieties that the people he gets close to will die and is averse to making any new relationships.

6. Shinsou Hitoshi – DEAD/ALIVE – Shinsou is one of the most loyal people ever. If you manage to break down his walls, he gets very attached, his alpha being the best example of that. He was so attached to the future he was going to have with his alpha that now he doesn’t know what to do. He feels like everything has been taken away from him. His life was finally something he enjoyed and then this happens? His life really is one tragedy after another. He does give up wanting to be alive, but he could survive if someone intervened to help him. He would need someone to supervise him and help him cope with the death of his mate. If he doesn’t get that, he won’t survive for very long.

7.  Shigaraki Tomura– DEAD (kind of) – Your death shatters what’s left of his mental health. It twists him and breaks him more and more for every night he lies awake in an empty bed. He does not die straight away. He takes his grief out on everyone else first. He kills random people in the streets sometimes, just to try and make himself feel anything other than despair. The final straw is when, in a fit of rage, he decays most of your things. When he realises what he’s done, when he realises that he’s destroyed the only ties he had left to you, the only things that still smelt like you, he gives up. There’s no point anymore. He spends the whole night drinking. He goes to sleep knowing he won’t wake up, and the smile on his face is the first genuine one he’s had since you died.

8. Dabi – DEAD (kind of) – He doesn’t die from a broken heart exactly. He dies because your death makes him reckless. Why should he care if he lives or dies anymore? There’s no one waiting for him. Not anymore. He gets angry when you die and takes it out on as many heroes as he can. He blames heroes for your death, no matter how involved they were. It’s their job to save people, and they couldn’t be bothered to save the one person in this world that actually means something to him. He either dies confronting a random hero, or he decides he wants to die and confronts Endeavour first. He has nothing to lose, so why not?

9. (Hawks) Keigo Takami – DEAD – He has this façade as a laidback, suave playboy. But at the end of the day, that’s all it is, a façade, an act. In reality, his life is the opposite of laidback. Everything is controlled by the commission. He eats what they say, wears what they say, buys what they say, says what he’s told to say. So, when he found you, it was like this glass bubble he’d been living in shattered. For the first time, you made him care. He cared about himself, his house, his health, but most importantly, you made him care about you, and about your future together. Nothing is as precious to him as you. So, when you die, all he sees is the prison coming back to catch him again. He sees nothing but misery in his future now. Lonely, miserable emptiness. You made him realise how unhappy he was, and then changed that for him. He won’t go back to the way it was. No way.

MOST

[heejojo]

Love Isn't Beautiful But With You It Was

✰ summary: y/n and niki's journey from being enemies to friends to much more than that.

✰ pairing: Niki x fem!reader (and a Jay apperance)

✰ genre: fluff, angst, enemies to childhood friends to lovers

✰ warning: a few sad scenes but I'm not sure they'll be too bad! death

✰ word count: 1.8k (the most so far tbh)

a/n: this is my first fanfic so please leave comments about what should be improved. if you have any requests feel free to leave them! it's past 12am now and I need to sleep but I hope you have a nice day!

prompt gotten from @moonlight-chi77 thank you!

“Love isn’t beautiful but with you it was”

Life disappears in the blink of an eye, but the memories created and the human connection formed does not. The memories created are embedded in our hearts and follow us through different paths of life. Whether those memories are good or bad, they become something we reflect on in later moments.

Nishimura Riki couldn’t exactly remember the first time he met you but all he knew was that he had never hit off with someone the way he did with you.

September 2012

Although Niki couldn't pinpoint the exact date you guys started talking, he knew it was in September of 2012. He knew at first he disliked you and wanted nothing to do with you because you had stolen his spot on the swings.

“That's my spot, I told Jay I was going to stay here forever,” he said while his friend who was behind him nodded enthusiastically, backing him up.

“Your name is not on it and you didn’t buy it so why should I leave?” you asked him without coming down because you got there fair and square.

“I called dibs on it,” he said while puffing out his chest.

“Dibs are for babies,” you say while continuing to swing. “I’m not a baby,” he retorts.

“If you say so, then why are you wearing a Talking Tom T-Shirt?” you ask and his face begins to turn red. “It's cool, isn't it Jay?” he nudges his friend asking him for support. “Cool man, girls just suck” Jay responds and they both leave. “At least I dress myself!” you yell at their retreating figures

After that day, Niki made it his mission to disturb you every day and never wore his Talking Tom shirt again after that day.

August 2016

“Niki!!” you screamed as you felt another water balloon hit your leg. At this point, your entire body was soaked. The young boy continued to laugh and run as you chased him. You were beginning to regret spending your summer break with him when you could be watching TV instead. Eventually, you give up chasing the blond-haired boy and go into the house to dry off. Thirty minutes later, Niki comes in with a bottle of orange juice as a form of apology. You snatch it without further thought and drink it. Looking up at him after you finish drinking it, you both burst into a fit of laughter. “You’re lucky I love food,” you say. Maybe spending the summer with him wouldn't be so bad.

December 2018

Your crush on Niki was painfully obvious to everyone but him. Your friends teased you, his friends teased you yet when you were together you denied it with so much vigour. Niki had liked you for a few months now. Everyone was enjoying the slow burn that was going on between the two of you; the soft glances across the room, the way you always looked for each other among crowds, the way he knew where your secret birthmark was even though your close friends didn’t.

It was the way you complimented each other that made everyone cringe and aw at the same time. The jacket you got him for his birthday was his most prized piece of clothing and the only person he let touch it was his mum. This year though, you gathered enough courage and told him how he meant to you and how you were content with being just friends even if it hurt a little. But you weren’t expecting Niki to say he felt the same way, even more so. Your friends heaved a sigh of relief and choruses of ‘Finally’ were echoed.

It felt good being with someone.

January 2019

Everyone argued with people they loved right? Your parents did, the old lady that sells fruit and her boyfriend did so you and Niki weren’t an exception. After being childhood friends for so long you’d think you could trust each other enough to talk about the things that bothered you but he refused to, claiming that he didn’t want you to see him in a different light and how it would hurt his pride. You would tell him that no one knew him more and cared about him the way you did. At times, you’d let it go not wanting to push him but that day you couldn’t take it.

“We need to talk. Why have you been avoiding me these past few days?” you asked him.

“I’ve just been busy” he replied.

“No, you’ve been avoiding me. I know you well enough to know when you're hiding something” you said.

He wouldn't budge, he never did especially when you cornered him like this. He started to get irritated and said, “I said I’ve been busy so forgive me if I can’t give you attention all the time. Not all of us are as clingy as you” You winced; it was your fault for pushing him to the edge like that. Nevertheless, you wouldn't give up. “ I just want you to say how you feel and what bothers you. I’d never look at you in a different light and you know that. You might want to be strong but it’s okay to show some sort of emotion, it doesn’t make you weak rather it makes you look like someone that acknowledges what is wrong and doesn’t try to ignore the problem or solve it on their own” you comforted him. As the words entered his ears, you could see the walls surrounding his heart crumbling. “It’s okay to ask for help or just to rant to someone. Even if we won’t be able to provide an immediate solution, it should help” you added taking a few steps forward and grabbing a hold of his hands. You squeezed them tightly.

“I...I’m just scared you’ll leave once you see the not so perfect side of me” he managed to say. “I will stay with you, why don’t we make the best of everything without worrying about the future?” you asked while smiling. He returned it and pulled you in for a hug. “Thank you, truly,” he said and you smiled under his embrace.

After a few minutes you spoke up, “Oh yeah, Niki?” you called his attention and he hummed in response. “Don’t ever shout at me like that again, I can deck you and you know it” you said.

“Got it, boss. Sorry for being a jerk”

June 2020

You usually went on diets and exercised a lot but you were losing weight at an extreme rate and you weren’t even on a diet. Niki was worried but you brushed it off telling him it was stress from school but it got worse. You found it difficult for you to balance yourself, you felt nauseated, getting even more frequent headaches and being tired all the time so Niki decided that enough was enough and took you to the hospital. Neither of you had expected the result of the scans that were run.

“I’m sorry but there is a tumour in your brain,” the doctor said. The air left your lungs. “You can choose to get the surgery and live in the hospital for 8 months or live with the tumour for 3 months” he continued. You thanked him and left the hospital. The elephant in the room was very much alive and neither one of you wanted to address it. Did you want to stay in the hospital for the rest of your life or did you want to say with your loved ones? You thought that they would go through and that won’t be worth it.

“Niki” you called out.

He looked at you with a sad smile and just pulled you in for a hug, careful not to hurt you. “Do you want to tell your parents?” You nodded. You couldn’t just leave without saying anything. Picking your jacket, Niki drove you to your parents house.

“I just wanted you guys to know, I couldn’t just leave without saying anything,” you said with your eyes cast downwards. You couldn’t bear to look at your mom who was already crying or your dad who was blaming himself even when it wasn’t his fault or your sister who was basically your best friend. Niki had given you guys privacy but you knew it was just an excuse for him to be with his own feelings.

“I’m going to stay close to home in the meantime so I can be closer to you guys,” you said. Your eyes were already becoming glossy with tears. You inched towards your mom, taking her hand in yours and said, “You did an amazing job of being my mom and I love you so much”. Moving to your dad, you said “You did a good job of protecting me so don’t think otherwise. Let’s make all the memories we want to now without any regrets”. At that, your sister burst into tears “I… I can’t bear to lose you” Your heart clenched. “I can’t bear to lose you too” She continued crying. Your mom wiped her eyes and said, “From today, live the way you want to. Eat what you want and do what you want.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Niki staring watching the whole scene. After an hour, I stood up and went home with Niki. The car ride was a long and awkward one. When we got home, we just slept hugging each other.

Starting tomorrow I was going to live.

July 2020

The pain is getting worse but the smiles on my family and friends faces are enough to keep me going. I wrote letters and got gifts for them. Niki looks at the calendar every day, I can’t tell him to stop because I can tell he’s hurting so much. Why can’t I just be okay for everyone?

August 2020

The time comes faster, Niki and I went on a getaway for a few days. He deserved a break from everything that has been going on.

September 2020

I never thought I'd die as silly as that sounds. I asked my parents and sister to leave when I got to the hospital. Niki refused to leave and stayed there till I took in my last breath. He kept crying begging me not to go and how he’d do anything.

“Does it hurt a lot?” he asked between sniffles

“No it doesn’t, it just feels like a needle” it hurt like a truck.

“Liar”

I chuckled and held his hand till I couldn’t anymore. “I love you’’ I say as the lights fade.

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

Dear Nishimura Riki,

When you see this, it means I’m already gone. First of all, don’t beat yourself up too much. I could write for ages about how much I love you but now that I need to, my mind goes blank. You’ve done so well for putting up with me, hats off to you. You might not want to but move on, even though id like you to remember me; let your heart heal and be happy.

Take care of yourself and don’t skip any meals. Eat well and be happy, make sure you visit the places we never got to visit and enjoy yourself. Live life the way you want it every day. Be nice to people and smile more.

Thank you for all the happy memories, my love, I’ll be forever grateful for you. You made my life colourful and worth living.

Love isn’t beautiful but with you it was.

Yours truly,

Y/N.