#nothing in life matters!
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It’s literally him (he’s fine)
#hello neighbor welcome to raven brooks#welcome to raven brooks#wtrb#nicky roth#hello neighbor#trinity bales#enzo esposito#maritza esposito#ivan torre#nothing in life matters#nothing in life matters…#nothing in life matters!#meme redraw
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depression is over it’s done it is obliterated look at this fucking shirt i found at the thrift near my house
#90s aesthetic#sunglasses#cool#nothing in life matters!#nothing matters#cool shirt#yeah!#gnarly#totally swesome#radical dude
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this post actually broke my heart.
#i can't believe more than ten thousands children were killed#and yet we are still grappling on whether israel is commiting a genocide#i can't believe how inhumane some people can be#how cargo ships matter more than human life#fuck you if you still support israel#if you still excuse it if you still think of “two sides”#fuck you genuinely i wish you nothing but pain for the rest of your miserable life#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza
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ur art is sooo pretty to look at :3 could i mayhaps request a desert of the duo,,, if ud like to,,,
Idk what scars thinking about here but it doesn't seem very funtimeswithscar 😔
And thank youuu, finally got an excuse to draw desert duo hehe
#first time drawing them!! the ogs fr#also hc ive decided from drawing this is whenever gruan is sleeping one eye is always a little open still#procreate was making me want to kill a person though bc the colour profile was nothing like how i drew it no matter the settings#so sorry if the colouring is a bit eh i tried my best to fix it#grian#goodtimeswithscar#desert duo#third life#trafficblr#just noticed grian typo . rite of passage idc#the crumb req-oning
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Kill me again. Go on, kill me again! Show me the only way you know how to love.
#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#iwtv#tvedit#sheisraging#userclara#loustat#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv spoilers#*#life is meaningless nothing matters etc etc
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Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.
#growing up#girlhood#grief#I saw a childhood friend yesterday#she was working#and after twelve years of knowing her it had been a year#her hair is longer#her smile brighter#and the intense sincerity of the happiness we shared for one another was heavy and freeing all at once#I don’t know when we stopped playing#and I know life has gotten in the way#but at some point all our dreams became options#with the life I choose daily I am happy#and still#I wish we could go back once to when nothing mattered but how fast you could run#childhood friends#they know you even when you don’t know yourself#mine
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do you think when cherik fuck all metal items in the room an maybe in the house starts to fly..... bc i do and i can't imagine what's going on with charles's powers help please
idk what happens on charles' end but this was my immediate first thought regarding erik
#nsft#xmen#xmen tas#cherik#In Essence theyre the subject matter vjaelvkjla#morph#wolverine#was this just an excuse to draw logan and morph And If It Is. Sue Me About It I Love Them#snap sketches#but charles... rather maybe i dont want to think of what might happen on charles' end .....#if i think about it i might just start laughing ohmy god#maybe hes just really careful about his powers and nothing happens beyond the room ... one can hope#unrelated note i think ima dedicate saturdays to drawing asks and sundays to personal stuff .. that might be my schedule#depends on how busy life gets but anyways. poor logan this is a weekly occurrence#it's why bro don't hang round the mansion </3
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(Whit did, in fact, gaf, but he wasn't about to let anyone know that.)
#also known as: the beginning of 2-13 summarized#danganronpa despair time#drdt#drdt chapter 2 part 2 spoilers#whit young#levi fontana#fanganronpa#hello it's me putting whit in a meme again. i'm very predictable#trying to figure out how to mimic the class trial lighting was interesting. i think i got pretty close though#i wound up using a screenshot of the first canon dr class trial grounds instead bc i couldn't get a good screencap of the drdt one#but this is the one with the same color scheme as the real one so idk if anyone would even notice that if i didn't say#also this is very clearly inspired by the “nothing in life matters” meme if ya couldn't tell :D#my art#fanart#drdt spoilers#oh my god I just realized I tagged this as dis/venture camp and not drdt spoilers#I am so sorry dis/venture campers
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Thought of this while at work, sorry it's a bit hard to read I sketched it out really fast before my last shift lmao wanted to get it done so I could work on other stuff hehe
If it's any consultation Floyd is mostly talking about himself
#my art#trolls#dreamworks trolls#brozone#trolls 3#trolls floyd#trolls john dory#trolls branch#trolls poppy#the way i imagine their 20 years in troll village is that one meme where its the two different nothing in life matters pics#but one is super sad and the other is happy looking and radical#thats floyd and jd#but they switch places depending on the day#branch is a secret third option#also idk what id do with the 3rd movies plot#this scene in my head is 3rd movie era but i like havent decided what theyre doing yet#theres a few possibilities on whos in the bottle or if theres a bottle at all#this would take place in a timeline where clay or bruce is in the bottle#but like heres the thing any of the brothers could be bottled and itd make for a good story#i drift more towards clay only for the irony of finding out your brothers alive but its a race against time cuz hes literally dying#so it adds to the urgency but then its not much adventure cuz they just gotta get bruce and go#cuz we have 3/5 brozone here already#same goes for if its bruce#so like for story purposes that means it would be most likely JD or Floyd which is just most aus and canon#cuz after world tour Floyd would travel with JD on their own tour Floyd going solo with JD as his manager#and in this scenario they came back to tell Branch about finding whoever is in the bottle#but the story of these guys could also work without any bottle so idk we'll just have to see what i decide to do later#also im slowly coming up with a name for this#very slowly but it'll happen#i actually have a google doc that has a name so i may just use that
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time is so fucking scary. because it does not care if you are happy. you will think I wish to stay like this, right here in this moment. i have found my place. but then time comes like a wave and pushes you forward. you cannot stay. and neither can the people you love. forward forward forward. time has ripped the claws from my hands, and the teeth from my mouth, as I have tried to cling to yesterday. but you must move forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forw—
#i recently went back to the place in which i was happiest in my life#and it has changed and doesn't look the same#and doesn't belong to me anymore#and quite honestly nothing aches quite like knowing#that no matter what i do i can never go back#that even if i stayed it would have all gone away anyway#that i had to move forward#and i had to let go of the things that made me happy#because time wouldn't stop#soph rambles
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Ok, so I know without even looking at the Scarian tag that everyone will be calling their interactions this session divorce coded (and that's valid)
However, THIS IS JUST HOW THEY FLIRT
Like, Scar being obsessed with killing Grian and then Grian blowing up his reputation board once he does???? Get a room. They are staring into eachothers eyes daring the other to do something, this is not divorce, this is enrichment
Exhibit B: Immediately after the whole murder and destruction of property debacle, when Grian has promised to hunt Scar until he's out (kinky) and Scar is hiding in Joel's car with the bamboozlers and the family and the sub ones are staring at them Scar LITERALLY DESCRIBES "THEIR SOCKET EYES" like???? only one man staring at you has socket eyes Scar, are you too busy getting lost in them to notice that???? Hmmmmm
Not to mention that after Mumbo's disastrous lava murder attempt Scar immediately runs right over to Grian and stands as close to him as physically possible for NO REASON!!!! Sir, this man has promised to murder you after you spent 50% of the session being obsessed with murdering him and now you're all up in his personal space whispering in his ear???? The least divorced thing I've seen all day, these two are absolutely openly disgustingly insane about eachother IN PUBLIC for everyone to see
AND Grian once more respawned in Scar's bed
This session is just the minecraft equivalent of making out in public and nobody can change my mind
#divorced Scarian this divorced Scarian that#how about happily in a relationship Scarian deliberately getting eachother riled up and constantly flirting and being obsessed with eachothe#r in front of everyone#to be clear no hate to divorced Scarian I love divorced Scarian#I just find it more fun to headcannon them in a happy relationship#and most things people classify as divorced behaviour are just a matter of perspective#like nothing they did in this session is inherently divorced#we just have a narrative about Scarian that makes us look at those actions and interpret them that way#which is fun and fair#but sometimes it's nice to interpret them differently#👏let👏them👏be👏happy👏and👏insane👏about👏eachother👏#grian#scar#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#scarian#trafficblr#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#wild life#wild life spoilers#wild life smp#gtwscar
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Eh, almost forgot ;~;; Commission for sweet @celestialrose3 ;;~;;; Thank you so much *bows*
#rottmnt#I am always very nervous when I draw commissions that are related to someone's story... how to explain it...#No matter how many times you might tell me that it's okay#I can't put it in the words because it sounds stupid and silly#but#you see#It's CAS#cass fanart tag#and it is commission#I ALWAYS FEEL NERVOUS TO POST COMMISSIONS YES I DID THEM FOR SOMEONE BUT they might be related to someone's story or comic and I sit and#think “Can I show it? Isn't it irritating? Am I even allowed to take commission related to it??” I“M SORRY I'M FIGHTING WITH THIS FEELING#ALL MY LIFE#okay no I can't explain it it's just my stupid brain that feels very nervous about such a topic and wants to hide everything related to it#You saw nothing but I just needed to put it into words to feel a little better about it#*hides*
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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Do y'all also think about how Cardan went from telling Jude she was destined to and deserving of death to being like Jude dies over my dead body? Or are you normal?
#and how Madoc said Cardan would always see Jude as inferior to him (for being fae implied)#that said more about how Madoc saw Eva that anything else in the books to me#maybe she is no longer mortal as queen or maybe she is#Cardan will still risk his life to save hers#it might have started in TWK with Cardan letting Roiben's court be decimated to save Jude's life#the realization that he cared for her short life more than any long-living creature around#normal is the wrong answer#jude duarte#cardan greenbriar#tfota#the cruel prince#matter not#the wicked king#the queen of nothing#the prisoner's throne#jurdan
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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The thing you need to remember about Tumblr discourse is that like 70% of it does not matter off of this specific website and even less of it matters once you get off the internet
#spitblaze says things#not to say theres Nothing discussed here that matters#how many people learned about the plight of the gazans from the internet?#how many people were able to sort out their identity and gender thanks to strangers on the internet talking about this stuff in the open?#anyway. this isnt about anything in particular. just a self-reminder so my brain stops trying to pull me into thought spirals#about things that do not apply in real life and barely apply elsewhere on the internet
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