#nothing here is like at home. the food is horrible and I’m not eating because of it

[interrogatethecat]

I hate this so much

[supernovafics]

series masterlist | last part — next part

pairing: modern!college!steve harrington x fem!reader, bestfriend!eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 6.7k words

warnings: explicit language, lots of fluff, smut (18+), fingering, protected piv sex, a bit of praise kink, mentions of reader’s strained relationship with her parents, alcohol consumption (drunk!reader and drunk!steve moment)

summary: the semester comes to an end

a/n: this turned out so much longer than expected wow but last chapter! wooo!!! (simultaneously happy and sad woo) epilogue coming next week !!

CHAPTER NINETEEN | ❝𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖❞

Fall Semester 2017

“I’m gonna come over here all of the time.”

“When we actually get a couch, feel free to be our honorary fifth roommate anytime you want, Munson,” Robin said, which made you laugh as you also nodded in agreement. 

It was the first night in the apartment and it definitely showed— there were boxes everywhere, lifeless walls, and nothing in the living room aside from said boxes and a TV (courtesy of Vickie’s mom) on the floor that you all were currently surrounding. Your bedroom was also nothing but a mess, and so was everyone else’s, which was the main reason why camping out in the living room for the night became the immediate consensus. 

At first, you expected it to be a night of watching bad movies and ordering takeout, but Talia— now deemed as one of the coolest people you’d ever met— was adamant about making an actual meal for you all. She said something about how nice it would be to have a real meal on your first night, and who were all of you to deny an actual home-cooked meal? 

Eddie came over right when you mentioned spaghetti to him over the phone. His own shared apartment was also in a state of disarray, but he was fine with setting unpacking to the side for the time being. 

“Okay, the food’s done, but I’m so sad that I forgot to get garlic bread,” Talia said. “Next time, though.” 

“I can’t believe you’re already thinking about next time. You’re way too good to us,” Vickie said and the rest of you hummed in agreement. 

Talia only laughed in response as you all joined her in the kitchen to grab some food and then once again settled on the living room floor. Eddie left afterward, but promised not to “eat and run” next time; none of you were entirely sure if you actually believed him. 

The rest of the night felt equivalent to the kinds of sleepovers you imagine you would’ve had if you had close enough friends when you were younger. There was a mass of blankets and pillows on the floor and you were watching probably one of the cheesiest romcoms to ever exist.

The four of you already felt like a little family. And perhaps it only already felt that way because you’d been craving a feeling like that for the past few years, maybe even for as long as you could remember. In your eyes, it was somehow so easy to immediately call the apartment your home. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Spring Semester 2018

Anyone else would’ve deemed it as horrible timing— it was the middle of finals and all that should’ve been on both of your minds was studying— but neither you nor Steve saw it that way. You two had been through worse timings, you figured. 

It was hard for both of you to focus on what needed to be focused on, but you and him made it work. Mostly. 

You could admit that there were probably too many moments where you were in the middle of working on an essay and you stopped to text him a random thought that came to mind, and then there were other moments where he was calling you when you knew that he was supposed to be studying for one of his many tests. 

Even in this instance, it probably wasn’t the best idea to be at Steve’s apartment instead of in your own space, and yet here you were anyway— “writing” an essay that was due by midnight, the last one you had to do actually, as he “studied” for the last test he had that was tomorrow. 

“Okay, we should really get serious,” You said when you pulled away from Steve, maneuvering off of his lap and settling back on your side of the couch. 

“What? We were just taking a quick break.”

“Yeah, and five minutes turned into fifteen,” You responded, and then proceeded to say the words that you really didn’t want to say. “I think I should go.”

Steve frowned; it was probably the cutest thing you’d ever seen. “No. Stay.”

“We’re just gonna keep distracting each other.”

He considered your words for a second. There was no way that he could deny them; you two were inadvertently distracting each other and had been for the past hour that you’d been at his place. 

“Okay, what if you stayed out here and worked on your essay, and I went to my room to study. We wouldn’t be able to distract each other then.”

It was endearing how adamant he was about you staying that you were nodding along to his suggestion instead of saying how kind of silly it was, like you were little kids that needed to be separated in school; but maybe that was actually a pretty accurate description of you two in this moment. 

“Okay, yeah, that works,” You told him, biting back your amused smile.

“Okay,” He nodded and smiled, giving you a quick kiss before he stood up from the couch and gathered his stuff off of the coffee table. “See you in a few hours.” 

You managed to finish your essay in what felt like record time, and you hadn’t even been trying to rush through it. You proofread it two times before you submitted it and it was only a little after eleven when you closed your laptop, placed it on the coffee table, and then headed over to Steve’s room to see how he was doing with studying. 

“I’m done.”

You gave him a skeptical look because the timing seemed a little too perfect. “You sure?”

“Yup, you can even test me if you want,” He said, giving you a teasing smile. 

You laughed a bit as you nodded and went to sit across from him on his bed, crossing your legs under yourself. He handed over his notebook and you spent the next fifteen minutes “testing” him and, much to your happy surprise, he knew everything. 

“You are, in fact, ready for this final, Harrington,” You smiled at him. “I see an A+ in your future.”  

“Thank you,” He said, smiling back as he reached out to pull you into his lap and the notebook became discarded to the side.

You rested your hands on his shoulders and his settled on your hips. 

“I’ve missed you,” You told him before you thought about what you were saying, and then you were quickly shaking your head at yourself. “Sorry, I know that probably sounds so dumb to say because, before this, the last time we saw each other was only three days ago, and it’s not like we didn’t text and stuff… But, I don’t know—”

He cut off your rambling with a quick kiss. “It’s not dumb. I’ve missed you too. I’m so glad finals are gonna be over tomorrow.” 

“Me too,” You said and then thought about something. “Well, I’m technically already done with everything, but you’re gonna ace your test tomorrow. What time is it at?”

“One.” 

You nodded at that and then looked over at the digital clock on his nightstand and took note of the time; it was only a few minutes past eleven-thirty right then. 

“Okay, good, so you don’t have to kick me out yet?”

He immediately shook his head at your question. “I’d never kick you out. Even if the test was at eight in the morning.” 

There was a playful tilt to his words, but you could also hear how true they were, which warmed something inside of you. You kissed him instead of saying anything else in response. 

Your hands settled in the hair at the nape of his neck as you pushed yourself closer to him, getting rid of the little bit of space between you two. 

It wasn’t the first time you two had been in this position— you in his lap or just simply being this close to one another. However, this was the first time that it finally felt right to do more, and you suddenly really wanted to do more. 

Other times, you and him had been at your place and things were noisy and it felt as if you two could be interrupted at any given moment, so you always slowed things down instead of pushing them forward. This time, though, you didn’t want to keep things slow or ease away from him. There was no need to— no potential interruption a few feet away, or random noises that carried through thin walls. 

You had never cherished the quiet as much as you did in this moment in Steve’s bedroom. 

Slowly, you moved yourself against him, searching for any sort of friction, and the soft groan you received from him in response made you smile and do it again and again. You could feel him growing hard beneath you with every teasing stir, straining against his sweatpants. 

“Shit,” Steve’s hands immediately went to your hips again and gave them a quick squeeze as you continued your slow movements. 

“Is that okay?” You had a feeling that you knew what his answer was going to be, but you still asked it anyway and tried to sound as innocent and normal as ever. 

He let out a contented sound. “Much more than just okay.”

“Good,” You responded and then leaned into his ear as you softly said your next words. “I want you, Steve.”

He gave your hips another squeeze. “Yeah?”

He was sort of guiding you at this point, controlling your movements; making you move a little quicker and then slowing you down again. It was subtle but so fucking hot and you could feel your arousal pooling in your underwear. You desperately wanted to slip out of the simple pair of leggings you were wearing so that there could be one less layer between you two. 

“Mhm, yeah,” You answered his one-word barely heard question and then pulled back to meet his eyes. “Please.”

Steve didn’t need to be told twice. 

He shifted things with ease— switching positions so that you were pressed back into the bed and he was settled between your now parted legs. 

His fingers teased the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing, and you expected him to push it up and off of you, but he instead slipped beneath your shirt and found the waistband of your leggings so that he could pull them off of you. 

The cool air hitting your now bare legs sent a chill through your body and your eyes slipped shut for a moment. When they opened again, you expected to immediately meet Steve’s eyes, but he was instead focused solely on the wet spot on your underwear. 

“You’re soaked, aren’t you?” He asked as he started stroking your inner thigh, another action that sent something equivalent to a chill through your entire body. 

You nodded shyly, closing your eyes again. “Yeah…”

You felt his hands find the bottom of your t-shirt again and that time he guided it off of you, leaving you in just your black bra. He leaned down to kiss you; it was slow and sweet like you two had all of the time in the world and it genuinely felt that way. “What do you want?”

“Mmm,” It was hard to answer when your brain could barely form any coherent sentences. You could feel his hand traveling upward, getting closer and closer to where you needed him to be, but it was too hard to verbalize that right then. “Fuck…”

“Go on, pretty girl, use your words,” Steve said, and the sweet term of endearment made your heart flutter wildly in your chest. 

His middle finger ghosted over your clit through your soaked underwear and your hips bucked upward, but he pulled his hand away before you could feel anything and you suddenly felt so close to crying. “Fingers— Your fingers, Steve. Please.”

“Mhm,” He hummed softly and your eyes were shut but you could tell he was smirking. You were close to playfully calling him an asshole for all of his teasing but your brain was still practically running on autopilot, and then he was speaking again, anyway. “Anything for you.”

Your underwear was pulled off of you in one slow movement and you whimpered when you felt Steve’s middle finger trace through your soaked folds, gathering your slick and leisurely circling your clit. His other hand came up to firmly squeeze one of your breasts through the thin material of your bra that was the last piece of clothing left on your body. 

“Take this off for me, honey,” He told you and you listened almost embarrassingly fast; bra gone and tossed somewhere on his floor in a matter of seconds. 

“Good,” His finger continued teasing your clit, and the thumb of his free hand moved to rub your now exposed nipple. “Good girl.”

You barely had time to process the soft praise and what exactly it did to you before two of his fingers finally entered you and you sucked in the sharpest breath, all thoughts suddenly gone again. 

“Steve…” Was all you could manage to say in the quietest voice as your eyes slipped shut and you focused on the feel of his fingers inside of you, somehow quickly finding and hitting the most perfect spots. 

“You look so good like this,” Steve whispered, fingers slowly picking up speed and making you softly whine at every movement. “Spread out for me and squeezing my fingers so tight. Fuck.”

A part of you wanted to say something back— match his words and tell him how fucking perfect all of this was, how perfect he was— but your brain was effectively mush and all you could do was moan and whimper and mewl in response to him. Lucky for you, that all sounded like music to his ears.  

He added another finger and his thumb found your clit, which made your body jerk harshly off of the bed.

“Steve, fuck. Right… Right there, yeah.”

The rough strokes against your clit pushed you so close to the edge, you could feel the pressure starting to build in your lower stomach. You turned your head, burying your face into his pillow and trying your hardest to hold back the scream you wanted to let out.

“Shit,” He said. “You gonna come, honey?” 

You quickly nodded. “Yes, yeah.”

“Go ahead,” He told you, voice low. “Come for me.”

Your eyes opened and you met his gaze as you did. He looked completely enamored by you, which only made your orgasm hit you a thousand times harder. You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears as Steve continued fingering you through your orgasm, trying to prolong it for as long as possible. He withdrew his fingers when he could tell that the overstimulation was becoming too much for you. 

“You’re so good for me,” He said, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “That was so fast.”

Finally, your brain was able to form coherent sentences. “You’re so cocky.”

Steve let out the softest laugh. “Mm, but you love it.”

He was a thousand percent right, but you still shook your head. “Hate it, actually.”

“Doesn’t feel that way,” He said as he pressed the most featherlight touch against your sensitive clit and all you could do was softly whine at the feeling. 

He was smiling as he lay down next to you and pulled you close to him, the side of your head pressing against his chest and one leg tangling with his. It was quiet as your breathing continued to return back to normal and your mind became clearer. After the briefest moment, your hand moved to dip beneath his sweatpants and boxers. 

Steve let out a low groan when your hand found his hard cock before he softly said, “We don’t have to.”

“I want to,” You told him and then moved so that you were straddling his lap again. Your arousal was practically dripping down your thighs and making the hottest mess against his sweatpants. “I need you inside of me.”

“Fuck,” His eyes slipped shut for a brief second as if imagining what was about to happen. “You sure?”

“Very sure. Really sure. Super sure,” You answered, smiling at him. 

Your hands went to grab at the ends of his t-shirt, pushing it upward, and he got the hint and quickly pulled it off. You then lifted your hips so that he could push down his sweatpants and boxers, and when his cock sprang free you let out a soft sound that slightly resembled a gasp. Your hand seemed to take on a mind of its own as it reached out to wrap around his hard length again and your thumb brushed against the tip.  

He let out a strangled noise. “Shit, shit.”

“Is this good?” You asked softly as you slowly started moving your hand. 

“So good. So fucking good.” 

It was nice seeing him become a mess due to your teasing like you’d been because of him a few minutes ago.

After barely a minute, he placed a hand on your wrist to stop your movements. You were about to ask him what was wrong, but then he was leaning over to his nightstand and rummaging through the top drawer to pull out a condom. You quickly grabbed it from him and did all of the work of slipping it on his cock, which he immediately thought was the hottest thing he’d ever seen and he was close to cumming right then and there, but he somehow managed to hold back. 

He so badly wanted to let his eyes fall shut as you slowly lowered onto him, but he kept his gaze on you and he promptly decided that that was probably one of the best decisions he ever made. There was nothing else that felt more like heaven to him than watching you throw your head back and let out the loudest moan as you took him inside of you completely. 

“Fuck, you’re taking me so well,” Steve groaned, still not taking his eyes off of you, and you could only nod in response. 

You didn’t move for a few moments. Instead, you savored and got used to the feeling of being so full of him. When you did finally start moving, lifting yourself ever so slightly and then sinking right back down onto Seve’s length, you let out a string of curses that morphed into soft moans.

Your hands became lost in his hair at some point and he had a near-bruising grip on your hips as he guided your movements, helping you ride him. 

He flipped you two over when he couldn’t take it anymore, hand finding your hip as he pushed deep inside of you. 

“Fuck, Steve!” 

The thrusts were rough and quick but surprisingly didn’t feel as such.

“You feel so good,” He told you. “You’re so fucking perfect for me.”

You could feel yourself clenching around him when he said his words and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second.  

“You gonna come?” You mumbled, brain barely about to form a coherent sentence, but Steve nodded wildly. 

“Yeah. Yeah, honey, so close.”

You mewled. “Mm, me too.” 

Upon hearing that, he let one of his hands slip between your bodies to find your clit. He started circling the sensitive nub, bringing you closer and closer to that edge with him. You clenched around his cock again and your back arched off the bed, hard nipples brushing against his chest. 

You came when his lips abruptly found yours in the messiest kiss; it was a mix of tongues and teeth that was perfect and pushed you over the cliff. You cried out his name again and again and again as your orgasm abruptly hit you, it almost sounded as if you were saying some sort of prayer. Steve followed suit moments after, spilling into the condom with a loud groan after a particularly hard thrust.  

Your heart pounded wildly in your chest and it barely felt like it was slowing down, but eventually it did. Steve’s weight crushed you in the most soothing way possible and he buried his face in your neck, placing soft kisses against the skin. 

You had no idea what time it was and you felt too exhausted to turn your head and look at his nightstand. 

“Do you have to kick me out now?” You asked, mostly joking with your question. 

Steve pulled away from your neck then, eyes meeting yours. “You’re staying the night.”

You were too tired to play into your joke further so you nodded your head at his words and simply tilted your head up to kiss him instead. You two fell asleep just like that for the time being, exhausted bodies and tangled limbs.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

You smiled when Steve opened the door and you fought the urge to greet him with a hug and kiss like you normally did because in this instance you were holding something behind your back. “Hi.”

“Hi,” He smiled back before giving you a curious look when he noticed that you were hiding something. “What do you got there?”

“A surprise,” You answered as you stepped inside his apartment. “A very important surprise, actually.” 

“Really?”

“Mhm,” You nodded and he looked at you expectantly but you let a silence linger for a few beats to make things more dramatic. After what felt like way too long of a pause, you showed him what you were holding, which at first didn’t look like anything special since all he saw was a gray plastic bag, but then you pulled out the package inside. “They’re curtains for your living room!” 

Steve smiled at you immediately and you could tell he was trying to hold back a laugh. “Finally.” 

“Do I get the ‘best girlfriend ever’ award now?” 

He couldn’t help but laugh a little then as he reached out to pull you into his arms and then he pressed a kiss against the top of your head. “Yes, a thousand percent.”

“And they’re black too so they’ll block out the sun perfectly in the morning,” You told him as you returned the embrace for a brief second and then pulled back. “Come on, let’s put them up now.” 

It took an hour to put the curtains up— the directions were a lot more confusing and meticulous than expected— but once it was done they looked great.  

“Now we can fall asleep out here whenever we want,” You said when you and Steve were settled on his couch.

His hand mindlessly stroked one of your legs that were resting in his lap. “I think I’d much rather be in my bed with you.”

You looked at him, a teasing smile on your lips. “We haven’t had sex on the couch yet, though, and now it’s a possibility because we don’t have to worry about the people across the street looking in.” 

“That’s a great idea,” Steve said, smiling back as his hand moved up to slip beneath your shirt and rest on your waist.

You were slightly tempted to lean into his touch, but you shook your head instead.

“Wait, no, let’s save that for later. We have other important things to do right now,” You said, and when he gave you a confused look, you leaned over to lightly poke his side. “You said you were gonna show me your favorite movie. That was the reason why I came over. Aside from gifting you your curtains, of course.”  

“Oh, yeah,” He nodded as he leaned over to grab the TV remote off of the coffee table. “I haven’t seen this movie in a long time, probably since I was a kid, but for some reason it was the first thing that came to mind when I was thinking about movies I really like.” 

Seconds later, he was pulling up Big Fat Liar, which you didn’t at all expect, but it was the best surprise. The smallest part of you had thought that he was going to out himself as a film bro and force you to watch some Martin Scorcese movie with him. This outcome was a thousand times better. 

“I love this movie,” You told him, smiling. You also hadn’t seen it in forever, but in your eyes, it was still a classic. “It was one of the three that would play on repeat in my house when I was a kid; the other ones were Mulan and the second Spy Kids movie. At one point, my parents hid the DVDs away from me since I played them so much. I did manage to find them, though.” 

Steve gave you an amused smile. “Now I’m imagining a five-year-old you ruining your entire house to find the movies.”

You let out a laugh. “Whatever image you’re coming up with is probably very accurate.” 

“Hey, since we’re on the parent topic, I feel like I need to talk to yours.” 

You immediately laughed again, assuming he was joking, but when he didn’t join in on your laughter or give you a playful smile, you stopped. “Oh, you’re being serious.” 

“As your real boyfriend this time around, I think I should probably meet your parents before we go to a different country again,” He said, playfully smiling at you, but you were certain that he was actually being serious. If it weren’t for his abrupt mention of your parents, you would’ve happily smiled at him bringing up your and his plans for the summer; plans that actually managed to come together pretty fast. 

The day that Steve finished his last final, he came over to your place and you two spent hours upon hours figuring out your plans for the summer; the places you both wanted to go, specific things to do and spots to eat in said places, where to spend the most time and where to spend the least, etc. All of the research was exhausting— you had ended up falling asleep around three in the morning with your head on Steve’s shoulder and your computer opened up in your lap— but it was the good kind of exhausting if that was even possible. The entire thing was impulsive and abrupt, two factors that could’ve easily made the whole thing be deemed as a bad idea, but you truly felt like it wouldn’t be. 

You were quiet for a few moments, processing Steve’s previous words, and then you gave him a quick nod. “Okay, yeah, um, sure.”

He was easily able to pick up that something was at least a little wrong. “Yeah?”

“Yup,” You nodded again, looking away from him then and focusing on the TV. You were about to shift the conversation back to talking about the movie, but he started talking before you could.

“If you don’t want them to meet me yet, that’s okay.” 

“No, no, you’re right. It would make sense if you met them. Like, if we did a quick phone call or whatever,” You said and then let out a sigh. You got quiet again and tried to figure out the best way to say what you really didn’t want to; talking about your parents was a hard feat. You had barely gotten to the point where you felt like you could easily do it with Eddie or Robin or anyone else.

Your eyes were still on the TV when you spoke again and decided to be entirely honest with Steve. “It’s just… It’s really hard talking to them sometimes. Like, talking about myself with them. Life stuff. It always feels like they won’t care.”

Steve’s hand found yours, intertwining them and giving a light squeeze. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“You’d be surprised,” You told him and then finally met his eyes again. There was a soft look on his face that you wanted to get rid of, so you quickly tried to make things lighthearted and a lot less serious and sad. “You don’t need to talk to them. The only parental approval you need is from Robin, which you have, so everything’s fine.”

Steve nodded and didn’t push you further on everything, even though you could tell he kind of wanted to. Weird and strained parent relationships weren’t foreign to him, but you could tell that he was wondering if it really was only just about that. It was a thought that you quickly wanted to shut down.

“And I promise this really isn’t about you. It’s completely about them. If I had actual good parents, I would love to tell them about you and how much I adore you, and how I can’t wait to spend the summer with you. And I’d probably go into an annoyingly deep amount of detail about what all of our plans are,” You rambled and the smile he gave you warmed your heart. “But, I don’t have good parents, so we don’t need to worry about telling them anything.”

“So, if they randomly call when we’re in London, that’s when you’ll break the news?” His question was playful and lighthearted and just what you wanted to hear right then.

“Yes, exactly, that sounds like perfect timing,” You answered, laughing a little. “Y’know this whole parent conversation is making me realize that your parents are probably gonna hate when you tell them that we’re together, or I guess, “back” together. Your mom really didn’t like me.” 

It was a weird set of circumstances that you weren’t entirely sure how it would be solved. Even before Steve told them that you two had broken up because you “cheated,” you could tell that his mom wasn’t at all a fan of you and wanted Steve to be with anyone else. Probably a girl handpicked from a specific list. 

“Remember when you told me that it’s my life, and I should do what I want because I have to live it?” He asked, and you nodded, the smallest smile on your face.

“I’m what you want?” It was a question that you were certain of the answer to, but you still had the urge to ask it. 

Steve nodded as he pulled your intertwined hands up so that he could press a quick kiss to the back of yours. “Always. You just got the ‘best girlfriend ever’ award, remember?”

You smiled wider as you nodded back. “Ah yes, you can never break up with me, no matter what your parents say, because of the curtains.”

“Exactly.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

The party had been an idea since mid-March. Robin randomly suggested it to you and Vickie one night— “How fucking cool would it be if we threw a graduation party for Talia?”— and you both immediately agreed. 

And now, a month and a half later, here it was. Over thirty people were crammed into your guys’ apartment, but everyone was having fun— especially Talia, which was all that really mattered— so it made the mess that you’d all have to clean up in the morning worth it. 

It was pretty safe to say that you were drunk. It was actually a statement that could’ve been said just an hour into the party, but it was even more certain now as the second hour moved into the third. 

You currently lingered by Eddie who, right at the start of the party, had appointed himself as the one in charge of the music, which didn’t surprise any of you. He was sitting with your laptop that was connected to the speakers set up in the living room. Every few minutes you jokingly suggested songs for him to play and he kept playfully shooing you away and vetoed all of your suggestions. When he actually did play the Pitbull song you requested, you laughed for what felt like five minutes straight. 

Eddie shook his head at you, but there was a smile on his face, like he wanted to laugh at your current antics. “You’re so drunk right now.” 

You had enough self-awareness to know that you couldn’t argue with his words, so you simply stuck your tongue out at him instead. 

He couldn’t hold back his laugh that time. “And that confirms it.” 

You started walking away then and gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up when he told you to “Stay safe!” as you wandered off. You headed into the kitchen for no particular reason— a part of you wanted another drink, but you could also recognize how bad of an idea that would be. You considered grabbing some food; a room-temperature slice of pizza didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world right then. 

A pair of hands abruptly grabbing your waist made you jump and yelp. The touch didn’t feel entirely unfamiliar, though, so when you turned and saw Steve in front of you, you were quick to smile at him even though your heart was still racing.  

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him tonight, and you also couldn’t remember how exactly you two had gotten split up in the first place. 

“Sorry for scaring you.” 

That was suddenly the last thing on your drunken mind. 

“Hi,” You said, practically jumping into his arms. “Where’ve you been?”

He laughed a bit at your enthusiasm. “Talking to Robin. She was rambling about this one summer class that she signed up for, and then she roped me into playing a drinking game version of Uno with her and a couple of her music major friends.” 

“Oh, that makes sense. That’s one of her favorite things to do at a party. It gets very intense so I always stay away,” You said, and then noticed his flushed cheeks and lazy smile which made you laugh a little. “How much were you forced to drink during the game?” 

“A lot,” He admitted and then proceeded to give you the most exaggerated sad look that you’d probably ever seen. “Turns out I kinda suck at Uno.”

You let out a soft “Aw” and leaned in to kiss his cheek, playing into how “sad” he was. “You should’ve let me warn you how good Robin is at that game. That’s why we never play it at game night anymore.” 

Steve’s hands settled on your waist and he pulled you close. You so badly wanted to kiss him at that moment, and there was so much going on around you both right then that you were certain that nobody would’ve paid attention to the two of you making out in the kitchen. 

Instead of doing that though, you pulled away from him abruptly. Your hand found his and you started pulling him out of the kitchen.

“Where are we going?” He asked, and you weren’t looking at him, but you could hear the amused smile in his voice. 

“I need to show you something in my room,” You answered and then took a quick glance at him. “It’s super important.”

When the door was closed behind you two, you looked at Steve and he gave you a certain look. 

“What did you wanna show me?”

“Hmm, weirdly enough, I completely forgot,” You gave him a quick shrug and a small smile before getting closer to him and circling your arms around his torso.

“Oh my god, did you bring me in here to seduce me?” He asked, returning the embrace immediately, and the playfulness in his tone made you let out the softest laugh. 

“Maybe a teeny tiny little bit.”

“That’s very cute.” 

You lifted your head from his chest and finally kissed him. It felt like it had been years since the last time you’d kissed him and it was definitely your inebriation making you so hyperbolic and over-dramatic because the actual last time was definitely just a few hours ago, but you still savored the feeling of his lips on yours. 

Steve’s hand found your cheek and he deepened the kiss immediately. You inwardly sighed in contentment and your hands fisted themselves in the shirt he was wearing and pulled him impossibly closer to you. 

It was when he started guiding you back toward your bed that the tiniest bit of logical thinking suddenly sunk in and you broke the heated kiss. “Wait, shit, anyone could walk in.”

Steve considered your words for a moment and then walked over to your door to lock it. “Problem solved.”

The door being locked didn’t change the fact that you could still be interrupted by any sort of harsh knock against it, but who were you to deny his logic in this moment and the stupidly happy smile on his face?

You let out a breath of a laugh as you nodded in agreement. “Problem solved.” 

It was a blur of movements that led you two to laying on your bed— Steve on top of you and settled perfectly between your legs. Your skirt had ridden up into oblivion and his jeans-covered hard-on was rubbing against you in the best way possible. 

“I can’t wait to spend the summer with you,” You mumbled at one point. Steve’s mouth had moved from your lips to your jaw and then down to your neck. 

“Just the summer?” He mumbled against your skin. “You planning to get rid of me after that?”

You mock gasped. “Oh no, you caught me.”

He nipped harshly at your neck, which made you giggle. 

One of your hands came up to find his face, pulling him away from your neck so you could meet his eyes in the darkness. “I can’t wait to spend the summer with you, and also many, many days and years after that.”

“Mm, that’s what I like to hear.”

You two were very drunk and it was obvious that most of your words were exaggerated, but your previous statement didn’t entirely feel that way. 

Steve’s lips found yours again and you let out a happy hum in response. His hand moved higher and higher on your thigh which made you moan softly, and you felt so tempted to grab his hand and guide it right where you needed it to be. 

Before you could do any of that or even contemplate it further, there was a loud knock on your door and then you heard Robin’s voice. “Are you two in there?” 

“No!” You yelled out loud enough for her to hear. “Nobody’s in here.”

“We’re about to do the cake, so your presence out here is very importantly needed!” 

The smallest part of you wanted to say no and resume what you were doing with Steve, but you couldn’t.

Your eyes met Steve’s for a second before you shut them. “Okay, we’re coming!” 

“Thank you!”

Steve pressed a quick peck against your lips and then rolled off of you. “We’ll pick this up later.”

You followed suit and stood up from your bed, readjusting your skirt in the process. “I can’t promise I won’t pass out before then.”

“In that case, I’ll make sure to carry you back here and tuck you into bed,” He said with a smile as he circled an arm around you.

You sighed dreamily and leaned into his touch. “Ugh, you’re too good to me.”

He laughed a bit and then pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “You’re also way too good to me. Remember last night at the arcade? You actually let me beat you at air hockey.”

You quickly shook your head. “Shh, you weren’t supposed to know that.”

“I’m sorry, but you made it very obvious,” He said, laughing again, and that time you couldn’t help but laugh too. 

You got the sudden urge to pull him back into your bed. Not even to do anything that would lead to both of your clothes coming off in the process, but to just simply talk to him. About nothing and everything until you fell asleep and woke up with what you assumed would be the worst headache. It had only been a few weeks, but you had quickly gotten to the point where you wanted to tell everything to Steve; every one of your random thoughts or whatever else was on your mind. And you always did, and he did the same. 

Of course, you knew that you couldn’t do that right in this moment because another knock from Robin was inevitable. So you instead laced Steve’s hand with yours and led you both back into the noise of the party. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

next part!

taglist (lmk if you want to be added or taken off<333); @eddiernunson , @loulouloueh , @the-aster , @blckburd , @totally-bogus-timelady , @yujyujj , @irhdifartzamfyaa , @mochminnie , @munsonssweets , @blckbrrybasket , @xprloki , @definitionwanderlust , @dwcode , @sun-fiower-seed , @keerysfolklore , @damon-loves-pie , @lodeddiperrodrick , @bisexual-and-intellectual , @munsonburn3r , @negomi123 , @khena , @facexthexsunshine , @seatbacksandtraytables , @suckerfordylansstuff , @lilacccs , @thehairington86 , @welcometohellsock , @dreamerjj , @newyorkangelbaby

(if your user is crossed out it means i can’t tag you</3)

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim #56: Else

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: recovery and lots of it, angst, sickfic, accidental emotional whump, fear of starvation, vampire whumpee, whumper turned whumpee (turned caretaker), reunions

Whumpmas in July Day 18: "Or else"

i'm sorry for being so slow with k&j chapters! i'm going to try to be quicker with them in the future. here's one people have been waiting for for a very long time!

-

“You’re sick.”

Jim blinked, taken aback. “What?”

“You’re sick,” Kane repeated, taking another sip from the bowl. One of his last bowls before he was to start finding his own elsewhere. “I can taste it.”

“What? What kind of sick? Is it serious?” Jim asked with increasing urgency. Kane could see it in his eyes: he knew fear, and he hated to see it in Jim.

He wanted more than anything to reassure him, but he couldn’t lie. “I-I don’t know?” he admitted. “I don’t know much of human illnesses. You seem… fine?”

“Shit. Shit shit shit.” Jim grabbed his coat. “I’ll be back soon. I gotta… go to the doctor, or something. Door,” he warned.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll be okay! You can’t even feel it! You’re a healthy young man!” Kane assured him, ducking into the kitchen.

“Thanks for warning me!” Jim’s voice was laden with nerves. A flash of sunlight made Kane shiver, and he only returned to the living room when it was gone.

Kane knew what this meant: Jim would likely not finish out the week. This was his last meal given. He would have to go to vampire territory tonight, or else he would have nothing to eat come tomorrow. He had to find blood tonight, or else he’d starve. He’d go back to that horrible, empty state, always wanting, always in pain.

He knew Jim wouldn’t really let that happen, but it wasn’t fair to rely on him for blood forever, either. Kane had taken enough, with and without permission. It was Jim’s turn to rest.

Still, the fear of hunger never left him. It was a part of him now, permanently, no matter how much he fed.

And this meant one thing. The thing he’d been putting off and dreading since Jim set him free.

He would have to go to vampire territory and talk to his parents. He knew already that it would not go over well. Father would be either furious or crushingly disappointed that he’d allowed himself to be humiliated by humans, and he wasn’t sure which was worse. Mother would undoubtedly be the latter. He wondered, not for the first time, if they preferred him ‘dead’.

It shouldn’t matter. He knew now that they weren’t… good people. He could see that. He had a new family of sorts, now that Jim had taken him in.

But Jim wasn’t his legal next of kin, and Jim wasn’t the one he had to ask if he wanted his money returned so he could buy blood.

He could always get a job. But it seemed ridiculous to do when he had money sitting right there, and he would likely be found by his parents at some point anyway. There was no avoiding it forever.

Kane drank the bowl down quickly.

-

It was a flu, apparently. Nothing life-threatening, but it set Jim’s anxieties alight. His parents had died of illness, he explained.

While Kane had managed to catch it early, Jim started to devolve within a few hours of arriving home.

Kane knocked on his bedroom door. “Jim? Can I come in?”

“Ugh. Yeah,” he agreed.

Carefully balancing the tray, he entered. He found Jim curled up in bed, looking miserable.

“I’ve brought you lunch.” He’d been practicing his human food skills. He was still quite afraid of the stove, so though he used it when feeling especially brave, he mainly stuck to things that didn’t require cooking. He’d written down several combinations of foods that humans found appetizing, which could often be served in between slices of bread as a ‘sandwich’.

But he needed a tray instead of a plate, because despite his strength, he simply didn’t have enough hands to carry the six cups of water circled around it.

“Lotta water,” Jim noted weakly, grabbing a glass and taking a sip when Kane brought it close. His hand shook, the liquid threatening to spill. Kane watched it close, ready to steady it in a heartbeat if Jim needed him to.

He spoke gently, like he was worried speaking too loud would break Jim in his fragile state. “...Like I’d mentioned, I don’t know much about human illness. Most of what I know comes from you. I just remember… you wanted a lot of water, last time.”

He thought about that time a lot. How he was so close to losing Jim, because he was too proud to listen.

“Ah. Yeah.” Jim wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I remember.”

Kane set the tray down. “I should have taken better care of you,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I mean–I shouldn’t have had you in the first place, but I did, and you were my responsibility, and I didn’t care for you like I should have.” A hint of tears in his eyes, he took Jim’s unusually-sweaty hand. “I’ll do better this time. Anything you need, I’ll be there.”

That earned a small smile from Jim. “Guess it isn’t so bad being waited on. ‘Specially because you can’t get sick, right?” The smile faded. “…Right?”

“I can’t,” Kane assured him. “You don’t need to worry. Just rest, and I’ll take care of anything you need.”

Jim huffed an almost-laugh. “You really changed, man.”

-

Liz did come over to visit come nightfall, which was good, since despite his promises, Kane had to leave. He didn’t like the thought of leaving Jim alone at night. He knew it made him scared, and Jim deserved to never feel afraid ever again. She brought a container of soup, a yellow liquid with colorful plants and large white orbs floating in it.

He waited, patient, until Liz emerged from Jim’s room. “Liz?”

“Hey. Thanks for looking after him,” Liz said.

“Of course!” The praise spread warmly through him. “There’s, um, something I wanted to talk to you about, if you have the time? Advice, I suppose.”

“Shoot,” she encouraged, flopping over on the couch.

Kane took a deep breath. “So, um, I assume now is a good time to start getting my own blood.”

“Yyyyeah.” Liz shot a glance to the stairs leading to Jim’s room. “I’d say that’s about right.”

“Blood… isn’t free. I have the money–had the money, but I’ve likely been assumed dead for many years. I’ll need to go to my parents to get it back,” he explained. “My parents are not kind people, I’ve come to realize.”

Liz raised an eyebrow, but politely refrained from making any comments about his former obliviousness. “You think they won’t give it back? Isn’t there, like, laws? This can’t be the first time this has happened with vampires, you guys are too good at not dying.”

“No! No, that’s not it, they’d give it back. It’s just, um, they’ll be… quite upset with me, I think. Especially my father.” He sighed. “I didn’t want to talk about it with Jim. I was worried he would feel pressured into giving me more blood than he’s comfortable with. I don’t know. It shouldn’t be as big a deal as it is. I’ve been through so much worse, I don’t understand why this is so terrifying. I suppose I’ve just never failed this badly before.”

“Hey, you made it out of five years with those monsters, alive. Bet there’s not a lot of vampires who could say that,” Liz pointed out.

“Ah, that’s just… not how Father would see it,” Kane said vaguely. Humans were supposed to be the weak ones. The fact that it took him five years to be freed, and he couldn’t even do it himself, would make him an utter embarrassment in their eyes.

And it was all because he couldn’t use persuasion. Everything they’d always believed about him, proven true.

Liz pursed her lips, lost in thought for a moment. “I don’t remember my parents that well,” she admitted. “I know yours suck pretty bad. I don’t think you have to admit more than you need to, right? Like, do they even need to know where you’ve really been? You could just make something up, for the sake of keeping the peace.”

“Make something up…” Kane murmured. He shook his head. “I’m not a very good liar. They’d see right through me. It’s fine, actually, the more I talk about it, the more I realize I’m being a bit ridiculous.” He forced a laugh. “It’s one uncomfortable conversation and then I can come back home.”

“You’ve got this.” Liz patted him lightly on the back, a modification from her usual clap she’d learned tended to scare him. “You’re tough.”

Kane certainly didn’t feel ‘tough’.

“Thank you. It was nice to at least… get it out of my system. Oh, and congratulations. Jim told me about you and Laken.”

Liz smiled. “After what happened, I just knew I had to say something, you know? If they could just be taken from me at any moment. Stuff happens. People die. I didn’t want something to happen to one of us before I could tell them how I feel.”

She stood. “I can give you one more night’s worth, maybe two. If you need some time to think about it and all.”

Kane startled. He and Liz had grown far more amicable over the past months, but he hadn’t expected this from her.

Maybe he should have. It wasn’t the first time. He thought of Jim, on that first night, vehemently denying Liz’s offer to provide blood, vowing to do it himself.

“...Thank you. That means so, so much to me. It’s alright, though. I’ll go tonight,” he decided.

“Good luck. We’ll be here when you get back,” she promised.

And that was all he really needed, in the end.

Kane got up, heading to the door with a quick glance back to make sure it was alright. For the freedom he’d earned, he hadn’t gone more than ten feet from the house since he’d returned with Laken. But of course, Liz made no move to stop him. “I’ll see you soon.”

-

The night was as beautiful as ever, even in the cool autumn air. He liked it better this way, in fact. It made it more comfortable to wear more clothing, the long pants and long sleeves and jacket he liked, especially when he ran. When he went this fast, he hardly felt the cold, and his mind was occupied elsewhere.

What if his parents made demands of him in exchange for their help? What if they expected him to return to vampire territory, to isolate himself out of the way in a socially-acceptable manner? Now that he’d tasted true companionship, he almost couldn’t bear to give it up. And what about Jim? Ever since Laken’s abduction, he’d been more scared at night. The very least Kane owed him was his protection.

His petty worries disappeared the instant he realized he could hear a vehicle coming closer.

Kane ran faster, opposite the sound. He’d likely been pushing fifty miles an hour before, and could make sixty if he tried–but he was out of practice, and the vehicle was faster.

A glance behind him showed moonlight glinting off a silver crossbow.

“I have permission!” he wailed as the off-roader gained, heart threatening to burst from his chest. This couldn’t happen, not again, no. Jim and Liz wouldn’t even think to look for him until a day had passed, a day that could easily be spent baking in the hot sun. “Liz Lieberman granted me permission to cross! Please, I didn’t do anything! Mercy!”

“Kane?” an unfamiliar voice called. The vehicle caught up to him, but there was no attack. “Oh shit, it’s you!” the driver said. “It’s so dark, I almost didn’t recognize you from the picture Laken showed us. Thanks for bringing ‘em back.”

Kane slowed, just a bit. “What?” he squeaked, tears streaming down his face.

The hunter in the passenger seat elbowed his partner, making quick movements with his hands that Kane could not understand. A signed language of some sort, he assumed. Though he didn’t know much about such things, other than that spoken orders under persuasion often didn’t work on humans who utilized it.

“Uh, my partner wants to know if you’re good? Like, you’re alright?” The driver asked. “Did we scare you? Sorry. Just, uh, you know, gotta be quick with the other guys. One second wasted and you miss ‘em, and that’s someone’s whole life, y’know.”

“Oh. Um, yes, you’d–you’d frightened me. I’m sorry.” Kane wasn’t quite sure what he was apologizing for. “Am I… free to go, sirs?”

“Yeah! Yeah, you can go… sir? Shoot, don’t let us keep you,” the hunter assured.

The one in the passenger seat made more hand-signs, waving him goodbye after. “Nice to meet you!” the other translated, finally driving away.

Kane picked up speed again and didn’t stop until he was sure he’d left the border far behind. He collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath.

He was so close to going back to the pain. If they hadn’t recognized him, he would have been skewered with silver–likely soon killed, not tortured, given they were from Liz’s guild, but still, he would have died in pain. No matter how hard he breathed, he felt like he couldn’t get enough air, and he wasn’t sure if it was that he’d been sprinting for too long or the sheer horror.

He wanted Jim. He wanted Jim to hold him and tell him everything was alright, that he was safe, that no one was going to hurt him. But Jim was miles and miles away, and could not help him here.

And he couldn’t cry on the ground forever. He was burning moonlight, and he needed blood.

Kane forced himself to his feet and wrapped his arms around him. If he squeezed his eyes tight, he could pretend he wasn’t alone, for just a moment.

After a minute like that, he started running once more.

-

By the time Kane reached his parents’ estate, he’d mostly calmed down. It was hard to feel as though hunters would ambush him out of nowhere when he went deep enough into vampire territory to see buildings and people. Any hunter here would be apprehended in seconds.

He touched the gate, brass-coated, though he knew there was silver underneath. There seemed to be some sort of electronic device attached to it, a new addition since his last visit, but he wasn’t sure how to use it. He could climb it, or simply shout, and one of the staff would likely hear him. If he wanted to be extra polite, which he did, he could simply stand here until someone came or went and ask to be let in.

And then that would be it. Kane would be standing face-to-face with his parents. He would accept Father’s ire without complaint. He’d had worse, he reminded himself, even when it came to the comparable. The hunters had spit on him while calling him worthless, ground his face into the floor while forcing him to decry himself as beneath them. It had been so much worse.

His hand shook against the gate.

You’ve really changed, man.

Had he? If he was still back here, ready to take whatever judgments his parents threw at him, debase himself and eagerly beg for their forgiveness, had he really changed? There were humans in there. Captive, hurt humans who he could never in a thousand years be able to free if he tried, locked away in their quarters. What happened to all his regrets? His vows that he would never associate with anything of the sort again?

What would he have done differently here before, if he’d realized back then everything he knew now?

Kane left.

-

It took him a bit to find it, he hadn’t been to this town before, but it wasn’t far, and he knew the address.

There was a different kind of dread this time. If he was rejected here, it might be even worse than his parents. But as he rang the doorbell, he knew this was what he had to do.

The man who answered looked almost exactly the same as the last time he’d seen him, thirteen years ago. The same dark skin, perfect hair, typically garishly-colorful shirt.

Bellamy’s eyes went impossibly wide, as though he’d seen a ghost.

“Kane?”

taglist in reblogs, chapter 57 coming july 30th :)

edit: sorry i was wrong about july 30th. it's coming thoooo i promise

@whumpmasinjuly

[ragingbookdragon]

He’s in the middle of the checkout line when the phone in his pocket buzzes. He ignores it at first, but a glance towards the fifteen year old employee lazily scanning the items of the first of five in line, him being the sixth, tells him it won’t be any time soon before he’s there. He checks his phone, eyes widening when he sees, “SOS” written across the screen. And from Price’s wife no doubt. Three jars of pickles shatter on the floor along with a bag of chips and a pack of ground beef, and he sprints for the exit, car keys already in his hand as he prays nothing is wrong with her.

It’s about twenty minutes before he gets to Price’s flat and pulls into the driveway, already scanning for any signs of struggle or attack. There are none visible so far and he grabs the glock he has in the glove compartment for emergencies before he gets out and runs for the door, banging on it. Footsteps sound behind it followed by a baby’s cry and the door pulls open to reveal Price’s dearest wife, disheveled in dirty clothes and tangled hair (he’s like eighty-seven percent sure there’s baby vomit in it), with swelling tears in her own eyes as she holds a screaming eighteen-month-old.

She takes one look at him before breaking down much like her son, blubbering loudly, “I can’t get JJ to stop crying, Simon.” Tears are streaming down her face as she cries, “I’ve tried everything to get him to stop. I’ve tried feeding, burping, napping, changing his diaper, everything. He just won’t stop.” She reaches out with her free hand to him. “Simon, please, I can’t stop him from crying. Help me.”

SOS, indeed, he thinks and immediately puts the safety on his gun, putting it on the side table as he steps inside, takes the baby, and closes the door behind him. JJ stops crying as soon as Simon starts hushing him and muttering, “Giving your mum trouble, ay? What are we gonna do about you, Banshee?”

JJ’s cries subside as he coos at the masked man and she starts crying harder. “How’d you do that?” she bawls. “Oh God, I’m a horrible mum. I can’t stop him from crying ever. Only Jonathan can. He never cries when Jonathan is here. Only when I’m with him.” she’s almost inconsolable, rubbing harshly at her eyes as she blubbers, “He hates me. My babe hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Simon sighs and gently takes her in his free arm, putting his chin on her head to calm her more; he rubs her back. “It’s okay, mum” he murmurs. “Newborns aren’t easy. Gotta take it in stride.” He looks at her. “Why didn’t you call Price?”

“Because he’s so busy,” she cries into his black sweatshirt. “He’s so good with him when he’s home and I know when he goes into work, he’s busy and I don’t wanna disturb him.”

“He’s JJ’s dad. Besides, don’t lump the old man in with other men. He’s a good one.” Simon pulls back, free hand wiping her tears. “I’ve gotta treat you like Soap, don’t I?” she only looks at him as his fingers brush her under eyes. “Go eat and shower. I’ll take care of JJ for you.”

She quietly nods, lips pulled in a upside down “U” before she leaves, disappearing into the kitchen. He starts bouncing JJ lightly, talking to him. “Bub, you gotta stop being a banshee to your mum. You’re gonna drive her crazy. And if you drive her crazy, your dad is gonna go crazy and then I’m gonna go crazy.” JJ just laughs and tugs at the strings of his sweatshirt before seeing if they’re edible.

Simon walks to the kitchen and watches as she stands in front of the refrigerator and shoves food into her mouth. He almost laughs, almost, as the memory of a drunk Soap shoving roast beef out of the pack and into his mouth comes to mind. Still though, he watches as she eats until she’s no longer hungry, then bypasses him and goes to her bedroom. The shower starts after a while. It’s almost two hours before she comes out and peeks her head from the doorway.

Simon is there with JJ, playing with a stuffed action figure Gaz had gotten him when he was born, making up stories about himself taking out enemies. JJ is enjoying it, giggling along and she smiles sadly before closing the door.

***

Price gets home around seven-thirty and when he sees Ghost’s car in his drive, he’s confused and a little concerned as he walks through the front door. Setting his things down, he walks around the corner into the den and Simon is there on his couch watching some show about ancient warriors and weapons, JJ drooling onto his sweatshirt.

“Simon?” he calls, and the man lifts the remote in a greeting. “Where’s—”

“Bed. Asleep,” he interrupts. “Been asleep since two.”

Price walks into the bedroom and sees her curled up on his side of the bed, clutching his pillow; he smiles at the sight and closes the door, walking back into the den. “How long have you been here, Simon?”

“Since eleven-forty-five.” He rubs JJ’s back. “Little guy’s been driving her crazy. Crying on her.”

“Shite,” Price curses. “She kept saying everything was fine.”

“Oh no, she’s lying. Thinks she’s a bad mum ‘cause he cries so much with her.” He looks over. “I think he just likes us soldiers, yeah?”

The old man sits beside down on the floor and gently runs a hand through the brown hair on his son’s head. “Yeah, never cries when I take him in.”

“You want me to take him for a few days so she can rest?” Simon offers. “Me and the Banshee will have a good time.”

“I don’t think she’d mind that. Well, she might. She’s awfully protective of the lad.”

“Of course. It’s her babe.” Simon inhales and exhales. “Give me a blanket, yeah? May as well stay the night.” Price nods and rises, handing him a blanket before reaching for JJ and Simon swats at him. “Hands off my godson.”

“He’s my kid,” Price argues and Simon glares at him.

“And I’m holding him. Try tomorrow if you can pry him from me.”

Price rolls his eyes but raises his hands in defeat, content to kiss JJ’s head and, “I love you, son,” before he squeezes Simon’s arm and disappears into the bedroom to cuddle his wife and sleep peacefully.

[monotonesmile]

Jaime Reyes x reader

Like the story can be like Jaime trying to surprise his girlfriend, the reader on their anniversary

Mission Failed…Successfully?

Jaime Reyes X Fem!Reader

[Word Count: 1,428]

——————————————————

Jaime is doing his best to cook his girlfriend’s favorite meal but he’s never been the best cook, despite his mother trying to help him. He’s in a mild panic, he wants their anniversary to be perfect because he loves his girlfriend a lot, but the damn bug on his back is continuing to make his life hell by just straight up insulting his capabilities to not only cook but also as a boyfriend, well, “mate” as Khaji-Da calls them.

“You are horrible at this, Jaime Reyes,” Khaji-Da states bluntly from within his mind, once again insulting the boy. “You have an hour before your mate arrives and you have accomplished nothing in the day you’ve had to prepare.”

Jaime groans at Khaji-Da’s words, tossing another failed attempt at the dish into the trash, his hair is a mess and his hoodie is covered in stains, plus, the kitchen is a mess due to his many failed attempts at cooking. He sits down in one of the kitchen chairs, head in his hands, he just wants this day to be perfect but he’s failed at that too.

“You’re an asshole, Khaji-Da…” Jaime mutters into his hands before running a hand through his hair as he slouches down in the chair, what does he do now? She’ll be here in an hour, less than an hour now, and he’s a mess.

“Get up, why are you just giving up now? Find something else your mate enjoys.” Khaji-Da encourages from within his mind, he doubts she just enjoys food, Jaime just has to try and think of something else she’ll enjoy.

“What else?” Jaime murmurs to himself, going over ideas in his head. So cooking something is out of the question, so maybe they can go out to eat? It’d be a bit more expensive but it should work, maybe they can watch a movie afterwards too! Just where do they go out to eat and what movie should they watch?

“Your mate enjoys that cafe downtown, take her there, Jaime Reyes.” Khaji-Da suggests with a very obvious amount of annoyance in his tone, mainly because he can’t believe Jaime forgot such simple things about his own girlfriend.

How in the world did he forget that? Well, at least he has a somewhat decent plan, take her to the little cafe downtown, then come home and watch a movie! It’s not as perfect as he would like, which does hurt slightly, because he doesn’t know how she’ll feel about this, but it’s the best thing he’s got. Now he just needs to get ready…mainly taking a shower and getting a new shirt.

“Right…my clothes.” Jaime mutters, looking down at his stained hoodie and shirt. He will have to take a shower before she arrives at his house, then he can freshen up and hopefully look a little better than he does now when they go out.

He sighs, getting up from the chair, grimacing at the mess that’s in the kitchen before slowly walking out of the kitchen, he’ll clean up later, he has a date.

————————————————

Jaime is drying his hair with a towel after his shower, in a rush because his girlfriend will be here soon, and Khaji-Da is not helping him, telling him to hurry up and just rush so he’s not late or unprepared when she gets here.

He grumbles to himself while the bug on his back continues to pester him, throwing on a black shirt and jeans, he quickly grabs a clean hoodie, zipping it up halfway as a knock on his door echoed through his room.

“I’m coming, hold on!” Jaime stumbles over himself before righting himself before opening his bedroom door to find his girlfriend smirking and trying not to laugh, clearly, she had heard his stumbling.

“What, did I interrupt something, Jaime?” She chuckles, a small grin on her face as she covers her mouth slightly to hide her giggles, her words are lighthearted though, she’s teasing him. She gives him a hug though, just wanting to hug him cause she could.

“No, uh, I thought maybe we’d head down to the cafe downtown…” Jaime chuckles, hugging her back with a small smile, a soft blush on his cheeks, when he releases her, he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly with a small grin.

“Alrighty then, let’s go, buggy.” She smiles happily, taking his hand into hers, pulling him along with her as they head out of his house.

“Always gotta call me that…” Jaime muttered to himself with a small, adoring smile as she grabbed his hand, he heard a small laugh come from her as they walked down the sidewalk.

“Simp.” Khaji-Da states really bluntly in his mind. It definitely caught Jaime off guard but when he pushed to know where the scarab learned that from the only response he got was, “The Impulse.”, which made Jaime groan quietly to himself, his grip on her hand tightened slightly.

The two walk along the sidewalk, talking and laughing together while holding hands, it’s an adorable sight to see, they’re absolutely in love, Jaime blushing softly when she chuckles at something he says, Khaji-Da is oddly quiet while they walk, as if letting them have their little loving moment without interruption.

Soon, the small cozy cafe comes into view as they turn the corner. It's a cute cafe, the building is similar to the cottagecore style many like. She smiles as she pulls Jaime along with her, who is smiling as he watches her light up at the sight of her favorite cafe.

Once they enter the smell of freshly made coffee invades their senses, it’s a comforting scent, making the already soft environment even more appealing to the young couple. The sound of quiet music fills their ears as they walk over to the cashier, hand in hand, ordering their usuals whenever they come here to hang out. After they get their orders they wander over to a small table, sitting down as they continue their conversation, both adorned with soft smiles and loving eyes.

As they say, time flies when you’re having fun. The two had gotten so into their time together that they hadn’t noticed the dark clouds rolling over the town until they had gotten up to leave, the sound of rain hitting the windows drowns out the quiet music inside the quaint cafe.

“Oh, it’s raining…” She murmurs, looking up at the sky as she holds her hand out, letting the rain hit the palm of her hand.

Due to neither of them expecting rain, none bothered to bring an umbrella, they’ll have to walk back to his place through the rain unfortunately. Yet, she doesn’t seem to be upset, still smiling as they head out of the cafe and into the rain. Jaime is still holding her hand, feeling bad that they’re both getting soaked from the rain after having such a fun time at the cafe but seeing her smiling still makes his heart just a bit warmer, a small smile spreading onto his face.

————————————————

“Ah…I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you thought our anniversary would be like…” Jaime mutters sheepishly as he unlocks the front door of his family’s house, letting themselves inside. He helps her with her now very soaked coat, placing it off to the side so it can dry. “If you want, you can borrow some of my clothes so you’re not just wearing wet clothes.” He blushed slightly when he offered his clothes to her.

“It was perfect, Jaime, I love just being with you, I had a great time…” She smiles softly at him, reassuring his worries as she brushes some of his wet hair from his face, leaning forward to give him a chaste kiss on his wet lips. “And I’ll be taking that offer of dry clothes by the way.” She chuckles as pulls away, walking up the stairs to head to his room to pillage his closet for one of his hoodies.

The chaste kiss made his blush grow darker as he watched her walk off with the most dorky and loving expression he’s ever made towards anyone.

“She’s too good for you, Jaime Reyes.” Khaji-Da mumbles from within his mind after a moment, breaking his oddly long silence, noticing how the short kiss made Jaime smile and his worries melted away, as well as how it made his heart rate spike.

“Shut up, dude.” Jaime sighs before going to join his girlfriend so they can watch that movie he suggested back at the cafe.

——————————————————

(IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I GOT WRITERS BLOCK IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING, I HOPE THIS IS STILL OF DECENT QUALITY FOR YOU!!!)

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Maybe I was wrong, maybe you weren't the one I needed all along

Simon "Ghost" Riley X F!Reader John Price X F!Reader

 It was cute, knowing you’d grown so attached to the group in such a short amount of time. However when John’s eyes landed on the way Simon seemed so tense, the idea of going out now seemed like a horrible one.

a/n:thank you to everyone who voted for this fic in the poll! please heed the tags are there are some pretty heavy topics in this(Also I know I promised Biker!Price first, and it's in the works! but I got too inspired by this fic) warnings:SIMON IS VERY OOC I KNOW, heavy swearing, fights, mentions of PTSD, flashbacks, Simon being a raging asshole

It had been John’s idea to go out to the pub after their latest mission, he’d insisted that Simon call you and see if you’d like to join. It was a way for everyone to relax, to ease their minds off the horrors they’d had to bear witness to for so long. Simon had begrudgingly called you, offering to pick you up before you denied him and said you’d just get an uber. Johnny was ecstatic that you were coming to hang out, mainly so he could tell you the million and one jokes he had. Kyle kept his cool, claiming he was happy to know you were coming but deep down everyone knew you and Kyle were the best of friends. It was cute, knowing you’d grown so attached to the group in such a short amount of time. However when John’s eyes landed on the way Simon seemed so tense, the idea of going out now seemed like a horrible one.

Simon assured him things were fine, that he just needed some good food and a cold beer to help wash away his worries for the night. You showed up after only a few minutes, a bright smile on your face as you made your way to your favorite group of softies. It didn’t matter how much Simon tried to deny it, deep down he truly was a softy for you.

“Hi! Sorry I’m a little late, traffic was a little backed up.” You scooted into the seat beside Johnny, smiling as he gave you a quick side hug.

“Don’t worry love, we’ve only just got here ourselves anyway.” John smiled over at you, wanting to ease the tension that you seemed to be carrying.

Your eyes twinkled in the dim light, letting him know just how happy you were to truly be there. It meant a lot to him, after dealing with some of the worst conditions he’d ever been in, this was a nice change. He wouldn’t tell you that though, not unless he wanted to make things awkward between the two of you. Simon offered to get everyone drinks, slipping out of the booth before anyone else could speak up. You wrung your hands together nervously, it was a habit you’d picked up after his last deployment. He’d come back with a haunted look in his eyes, something you’d come to expect, but something was different about this one.

“I know we can’t talk about what you boys got up to, so I’ll just ask how everyone’s feeling.” You glanced around at the three men still at the table. Simon most likely would hole himself up in your bedroom at home, hide away until he could come back down to earth.

“Tired, mainly, the flight home took longer than we expected.” Kyle didn’t hold his punches, but he was very obviously hiding something, and that made you nervous.

“Good thing you’re home now, don’t have to worry about it for the night at least.” They were always being called out on deployment at a moment’s notice.

“Quite true.” John ran the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip as Simon placed down four pints, plus a water for you.

You’d made it known to everyone that you didn’t like drinking, mainly because beer tasted in your personal words “like downright piss” so they would make do. Normally they’d buy you a water, or a soda if you preferred that. Sometimes a lemonade if the bar had it on hand, moreso they’d buy you something to eat as an apology. They’d asked how you’d been while they were all gone, you gave the basic rundown that nothing truly exciting happened. It wasn’t until Johnny noticed a bright flashy diamond on your finger.

“Aye, you get engaged?” Johnny was staring down at your hand, brow raised slightly.

“Oh, no, I bought this because of someone at work. Guy was flirting with every single woman and wouldn’t take no for an answer, ended up going to HR cause he followed me to my car one day.” You took a rather large sip of your water, ignoring the way Simon’s eyes were boring into the side of your head.

“Tell me the fucker got fired, I know how to ‘ide a body.” Johnny would do anything to help keep you safe, taking care of a few mishaps would be no problem.

“Yeah, they found out he’d been videotaping women in the restroom, and ended up getting arrested in front of everyone.” You were thankful you’d stopped using that bathroom, unable to get over the sense of unease whenever you went inside.

It was another reminder how terrifying the world could be, and with Simon being away you were scared to leave work in fear he’d end up following you home. Wasn’t much you’d be able to do if he had, not with your boyfriend god knows where for god knows how long. The conversation turned to brighter topics, John steering the conversation towards futbol. You’d tried to keep track of how well the teams were doing, but with work being so hectic it simply slipped your mind. Kyle started on about how excited he was to go and visit his parents, ready to have a home cooked meal and see how his mom was doing.

It eased your mind for the rest of the night, laughing at the terrible jokes that Johnny seemed to save up for your annual visits. You couldn’t contain your laughter as you slapped his shoulder, nearly doubling over onto the wooden table as you tried to catch your breath. This was what you’d been missing, the carefree joy that came with being around everyone. Except, Simon seemed to become even quieter, not even the sound of his breathing could be heard. Had you done something to upset him? Clearly you’d pissed him off or else he wouldn’t be giving you the cold shoulder.

Everyone agreed to head out after one drink, not wanting to get too relaxed lest they end up falling asleep in the booth. After giving everyone a tight hug you headed out to where Simon’s car was parked. His shoulders seemed even more tense, hands balled into fists as he got into the driver's seat. Taking a quick breath you got into the passenger's side, buckling your seatbelt before Simon could take off. His knuckles were white with how harshly he was gripping the steering wheel, eyes glaring down at the road. How could you even broach a conversation when he was this angry?

“Simon?” Your voice was meek, barely anything more than a whisper.

“What?” His voice was harsh, biting into your skin and leaving behind superficial welts.

“Did I say something to upset you?” Your hands were beginning to shake, the last thing you ever wanted to do was upset someone by saying the wrong thing.

“Isn’t that rich, I should be asking if you’d finally found someone to warm the bed while I’m gone making sure you’re safe.” It’d felt as if you’d been slapped, the words cutting deep.

“Excuse me?” There was no way he’d said that to you, even when Simon was beyond angry he was never so hateful before.

“I’m sure your new boy toy got that ring for you, tell me, does he fuck you better than I do? Treat you like a whore since you can’t handle me leaving so often?” Simon barely glanced towards you, eyes hiding a burning rage deep inside.

Your eyes were filled with tears, mouth gaping open as you struggled to figure out how to even reply to what he’d said. How could he sit there and act like you were stepping out on him when you’d always waited for him to come home.

“There is no one else-”

“Don’t fucking lie to me! Do you really think I’m naive enough to believe that you haven’t fucked someone else when I’ve been gone for months, haven’t slipped someone into our bed when I’m deployed?” The car came to a screeching halt, the seatbelt across your chest preventing you from slamming into the dashboard.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks now, who was this man that bore your boyfriend's face, and what had he done with Simon?

“Get the fuck out of my car.” Simon was absolutely seething, refusing so much as to look at you.

“Si, please.” You were ready to beg, it was dangerous to be alone outside at night.

“I said get the fuck out!” His voice was thick with anger, venomous words poisoning your soul slowly.

You weakly unbuckled your seat, hands shaking uncontrollably as you reached for the door handle. His lips pulled into a snarl as you stepped out of the car, slightly thankful for the bright street lamps so you weren’t in total darkness. The sound of tires squealing and dirt kicking up echoed into the night as Simon drove off, leaving you behind. A scream tore through your chest as the realization hit you, Simon had left you. The man who’d loved you so gently left you behind as if you meant nothing to him.

Patting yourself down you swallowed thickly realizing you still had your purse, which meant you had your phone to call for help. Your heart was shattering as you scrolled through the contacts, coming upon the name you were hoping you wouldn’t have had to see so soon.

“Hey hun, miss me already.” Johnny laughed into the receiver, John’s voice in the background telling him to “shut up”.

“Johnny?” Your voice was thick with tears, reaching up to try and wipe them away.

“Sweetheart? What’s going on?” He was suddenly on high alert, you were upset and he was going to find out why.

You broke down once more, unable to get your words out properly for a few seconds before Johnny helped calm you down enough to talk. You told him everything, how Simon had accused you of cheating, how he pulled over to the side of the road and kicked you out of the car. He didn’t even need to ask for the address, having pinged your location from his own phone. You stepped under one of the bright street lamps, illuminating yourself so that he could see you.

Headlights came barreling around the corner not even five minutes later, John slamming on the breaks and throwing himself out of the car to help console you immediately. You cried into his chest, gripping onto the leather coat that he’d been wearing earlier. It smelled of smoke and something sweet that you couldn’t quite place. It did its job in helping bring you back down to earth, head beginning to ache with a headache.

“C’mon, you can stay in my guest room for the night.” John turned you towards his car, helping you into the passenger seat carefully.

Johnny wanted to protest and say that he was supposed to sleep in the guest room but you would always take priority. He wanted to wring Simon’s neck until the other man was blue in the face, how the hell could he do that to you? They were going to keep you safe, no matter what it took you weren’t going to go to bed upset. Sure the mission hadn’t been the easiest to deal with, but they’d all had to deal with the shit they did and yet Simon took it out on you.

“We’ll be here for you sweetheart, promise.” Johnny leaned forward, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, it means a lot.” You reached up to lay your hand overtop of his own, eyes catching onto the (very fake)diamond ring on your finger.

Anger courses through you like a raging fire, the reason Simon had called you such horrific things because you’d had to keep yourself safe. What type of man called his girlfriend a whore for not cheating? You grabbed onto the ring, angrily pulling it off and throwing it into your purse. It was a problem for later you to deal with, right now you wanted to slap Simon into next tuesday and make sure he understood how pissed off you were.

Your phone had started to ring in your pocket, reminding you that realistically had you not called Johnny that you’d still be on the side of the road. Had Simon really driven back to see if you were still there, to see if he could continue berating you? You pulled your phone out, seeing the photo of the two of you lighting up the screen. Ignoring the call you held down the power button, waiting until the screen turned black before sliding it back into your pocket. John was completely silent beside you, nothing, save for the streetlamps, lighting up his face. He was terrified when you’d called, afraid something severe had happened and they would be pulling up on a car accident.

In some way he had hoped it had been an accident, that Simon hadn’t completely destroyed you with his words over something so petty. However, when he’d arrived he became enraged that Simon put you into such a vulnerable position. What if someone had grabbed you before they got there, there wasn’t a shortage of enemies that would take the chance to cause pain to Simon. So why put you in harm's way over something so trivial? 

“Hey, we’re here.” John waited until Kyle and Johnny got out of the car, wanting to make sure that you were alright.

“Simon started calling me, probably to tell me what a whore I am.” You bit your bottom lip harshly, not wanting to get emotional all over.

“Just ignore him, if he comes by I’ll talk to him outside.” John was going to make sure Simon didn’t say any more hurtful things to you, no matter what.

You nodded at him, slipping out of the car and heading inside with Johnny and Kyle.

John waited until the front door shut, letting out a long sigh. Simon would show up within a few minutes, he knew that Johnny and Kyle were staying with him anyway. Reaching into the glove compartment of his car he grabbed a cigar and lighter. Nothing better to do than smoke and wait for his hot headed lieutenant to show his face. He’d surely be upset that you called his captain to come and get you instead of waiting around. It wasn’t safe for you to walk around during the daytime, why would the night be any safer for you?

It had just hit the five minute mark as Simon angrily pulled into the driveway, stopping only a few feet from Price’s truck. John could only hope that Johnny and Kyle had you far away from the living room, you didn’t need to hear this argument.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Simon was fuming, steam nearly pouring out of his ears as he stomped over to where John stood smoking.

“I picked her up because she was terrified, Simon, did you really think I would make her wait until you decided it was time to pick her up.” He’d been terrified for the few minutes it took to get to you originally, knowing Simon would’ve left you out there even longer?

“That wasn’t your choice to make and you know it.” Simon wanted to barge into his home and make sure you knew exactly who you’d belonged to.

“I think it’s best if she stays here for the night, the two of you need to cool off and barging in like some mad man will terrify her even more.” It was the most logical thing John could think of, had Simon gone into his home Johnny and Kyle would’ve done what they could to protect you. 

Simon seemed to think over what he’d said, debating whether or not he should ignore Price and head inside to find you. The last thing he needed was you causing a scene if he managed to get you back in the car, shit.

“Her and I will be talking privately tomorrow, no eavesdroppers.” Simon glanced towards the bay windows, catching both Johnny and Kyle peeking out through the curtains.

John simply nodded, it was better to agree with whatever Simon wanted than to argue with him for who knows how long. He wouldn’t leave you alone with Simon come morning, not if he wanted to lose all trust in you entirely. Simon glared over at him before heading back to his truck, tires squealing as he sped out into the inky darkness that night brought.

Everyone would feel better after a good night’s sleep, emotions were at an all time high and John refused to treat this like he did a deployment. You deserved better than your friends all at one another’s throats like a pack of savages. Stubbing out the cigar John headed inside to see how you and the two trouble makers were doing. The sound of your laughter reached the entryway as he stepped inside, hanging up his coat and slipping off his boots.

“That’s not true and you know it!” You and Johnny were in the midst of an argument, a playful one at that.

“It is too! Gaz back me up here.” Johnny knew the other man would absolutely take your side, it was a constant thing for the three of you.

“Absolutely not, you know I’m taking my favorite girl's side in this one.” Kyle wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you flush to his side.

Johnny feigned offense, though the bright smile on his face clearly gave away his true emotions in that moment. John stepped into the living room after another minute of your banter, making his presence known to all of you. It suddenly dawned on him that you were wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie that were his. It was most likely Johnny that grabbed the clothes for you, wanting to make sure you were comfortable.

“Sorry, was dealing with something outside for a few.” Everyone knew that Simon had shown up, even if, thankfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“It’s okay, I should probably head to bed anyway, been a long night.” Your smile didn’t reach your eyes, something that made John a little more uncomfortable.

“You know which room sweetheart, if you need anything you know where I’ll be.” John nodded as you headed off to bed, waiting with baited breath until the door shut and the sound of the slightly creaky mattress echoed into the air. He needed to discuss things with Kyle and Johnny, but the less you knew at the moment, the better.

The other two were staring at John with hard gazes, it was obvious that things had gone awry and they needed more answers to the million questions they had. Once John was sure that you were asleep, or at least in bed, John told them everything. From the way Simon was ready to head inside and take you like some brute, how he didn’t look like the man he’d known for years. All of them would develop, or possibly even had PTSD, it came with the territory of being in the military but what Simon had done was despicable.

John had gotten a therapist after the first few years, when his dreams were becoming too vivid and the slightest sounds had him drawing his gun. It worked miracles, and since then any person under his command needed to speak with one. Johnny had admitted to him privately that the therapist helped him from ending his life, how he’d been terrified to sleep most nights. Kyle still had nightmares about falling out of the helicopter, nearly dying if it weren’t for the rope tied around his ankle.

“If he shows up before I’m awake, make sure he doesn’t get to her.” It was an order, you wouldn’t be put into another mess because Simon couldn’t keep his emotions in check.

Kyle and Johnny wouldn’t waste a single second if Simon showed up in the morning, they’d barricade the door if it came down to it. John was afraid he wouldn’t be able to sleep as he crawled into bed, his emotions were too high to fully relax. As he lay there staring at his ceiling his eyes began to droop closed, sleep encompassing him like a warm hug. It wasn’t the sun, nor the birds outside of his window that had woken him up. No it was the sound of your screams that had him sprinting from his bed.

When he finally reached the kitchen he was shocked to find you and Johnny making breakfast. From the looks of it Johnny had thrown what looked to be flour at you, not enough to truly make a mess but enough to surprise you. However in his haste John had forgotten to grab a shirt to throw on before surprising you. Your eyes roved over his chest, brow raised in a way he couldn’t quite decipher.

“Aye cap, why don’t you go ahead and put your tits away.” John’s face flushed with Johnny’s words, not something you hear after sprinting to make sure your guests were safe.

“Don’t damn near give me a heart attack next time, please.” John headed back to his bedroom before either of you could say anything.

It suddenly seemed to dawn on him then, Simon would be coming by so that he could talk to you again. He’d simply have to deal with seeing you in John’s clothes, there truly was no way around that at the moment. The sound of the truck rumbling let him know Simon had arrived, and without wasting anymore time he headed outside to intercept him. If he wanted to talk with you, he’d have to talk with him first.

“Simon.” John nodded at the other man, noticing the letter that was tucked carefully in his hands.

“Shepherd called last night, sending me out on another assignment, can ya give this to her?” Simon didn’t look relaxed, no, in fact his shoulders appeared even more tense, eyes darker and harder to read.

John didn’t want to take the letter, to deliver the bad news and tell you that Simon had run off at a moment’s notice. It all felt so disingenuous.

“Alright.” John took the envelope, tucking it into his pocket.

Simon didn’t spare another word as he left, leaving John confused as to what the hell he was going to say when he went inside. ‘Oh by the way Simon left and gave me this letter to give to you, not sure what it says so I’m sorry in advance.’ This was not how his day was supposed to go. Deciding there really wasn’t anything else he could do, John headed inside with the letter tucked away. The smell of bacon filled the air, calming his nerves for a brief second as he stepped into the kitchen.

You’d already made yourself a plate, digging in happily as Johnny plated up the rest of the pancakes and bacon onto their respective plates.

“Simon wanted me to give this to you.” He grabbed the envelope from his pocket, placing it down beside you.

Your heart plummeted, the calm air suddenly vanishing as you stared down at the white paper. What the hell had he said in the letter that he couldn’t bear to say to your face like a normal person? Then again, Simon wasn’t your average man, was he? Swallowing the bite that was in your mouth you grabbed the letter, ripping open the envelope to see what lay inside. You briefly scanned over Simon’s chicken scratch handwriting, heart twisting painfully. He had truly believed you stepped out on him, and instead of telling you things were over in person, he left. The general had called him last night, asking him to head out on another deployment and he’d accepted it so easily. He wanted you gone before he came back home.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, lip quivering as you suddenly realized that Simon had thrown away logical thinking to accuse you of something so vile. You wanted to scream, to go to your apartment and destroy it the same way he’d destroyed your heart. Except you couldn’t, because it would mean that Simon had won, that his suspicions were correct. It didn’t matter if you knew you hadn’t cheated, it was your word against Simon’s judgment. Shit, where the hell were you going to live? Getting an apartment would be nearly impossible with how high prices were nowadays.

“Lass?” Johnny was nervous, seeing you this upset broke his heart every time.

You could barely get the words out, thrusting your arms towards him that was still holding onto the letter. He took it carefully, reading over the hateful things that Simon had written, how could one man be so cruel? He carefully handed the letter to John before pulling you into his embrace, rubbing a hand up and down your back slowly. You’d need comfort the most right now, and to find a place to live since Simon wanted you out.

“It’ll be alright sweetheart, I promise.” You burrowed yourself into his chest, cheek resting against the dogtags that rested just beside his heart.

“I won’t be able to find an apartment so soon, shit I’m going to be homeless.” Your heart was racing, god this day couldn’t get any worse.

“You’ll stay with me, ‘m not gonna let you become homeless because Simon’s got his head up his arse.” It was a risky move, but your safety became a priority now.

You wanted to protest, to tell John that you could find a place, given the little time that you had at the moment, perfectly fine. However as you began to think about it deeper you truly realized that you would in fact become homeless before finding a proper apartment. Plus the thought of purchasing all the furniture, and appliances again? It was absolutely hell.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude anymore than I already have.” You’d have to pack up all your clothes and any belongings when you had the time.

“It’s no problem sweetheart, I promise.” John’s smile was soft, a reminder that he would do whatever it took to make you happy.

You kept your head against Johnny’s chest, letting him continue to comfort you in the way that he did best. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad once you got all your stuff out.

~~~~~~~

Nine Months Later~~~~~~~

You hadn’t so much as seen Simon since the horrific breakup, though that was more due to you wanting to heal rather than trying to hide. You’d found a therapist to talk with, a way to unload all of your emotions so they wouldn’t fester like an untreated wound. And it had helped for a while, telling them what you could about Simon and your relationship. Somewhere things had suddenly changed, neither of you were aware the feelings had come into perspective. John was afraid to push things, even if he had feelings for you he wasn’t going to force you. So when you approached him about getting dinner, John couldn’t refuse.

Johnny was the first to find out about your relationship, happy that you’d healed enough to find solace in someone else. No one dared talk about it with Simon around, not unless they wanted to find out how scary he could become. He’d become colder towards everyone, refusing to speak up unless someone else needed something. Last anyone had heard he was seeing someone else, a private if the information Johnny had received was correct. No one told you though, not wanting to remind you of all the bad memories.

In truth you’d found out by accident, needing to bring John some papers he’d left at home after rushing to base that morning. He’d called you in a panic, asking if you’d seen the paperwork he needed to go over. You laughed slightly and offered to bring everything to him, he didn’t hesitate to agree, letting you know he’d meet you when you arrived. You tucked the folder under your arm, sending a quick text to let him know you were there. The sound of Simon’s voice raised goosebumps over your body, except he wasn’t calling for you. No, he was talking to what looked like a new recruit, however you knew better from the look in his eye. Huh, you expected it to hurt more than it did, seeing Simon treat someone the way he’d once treated you.

Maybe seeing him after all these months was what you needed, to remind you that you lived with someone that wasn’t afraid to open himself up to you. You knew why Simon was closed off, having had many late night discussions. And yet after nearly three years he still refused to be the first to initiate any kind of affection. It began to wear on your mind, especially when he’d be gone for months on end with no contact. John didn’t treat you as if you were made of glass, but he also wasn’t a total hardass either. He treated you like a normal person, not afraid to show love when you were in public. It was a nice change, one you’d brought up in therapy when you were afraid to make that leap. Your therapist was supportive of the relationship, encouraging you to pursue it. God, you couldn’t have been happier with him.

“Hey love, sorry for making you wait.” John pressed a soft kiss to your lips, arm wrapping around your waist.

“Mmm, only a couple minutes.” You smiled as he pulled away, holding up the folder to let him know you hadn’t forgotten it.

“Thank you so much, my little life saver right here.” John tucked the folder under his arm, focusing entirely on you.

“It’s what I do.” You giggled softly, pressing another kiss to his lips.

Neither of you were aware that Simon was staring you down, watching the way you’d gotten so close and comfortable with his captain. He couldn’t get angry with you though, not when it was his fault for assuming the worst and breaking off the relationship. It had taken months for him to realize that you were in fact telling the truth. However he wasn’t just going to show up at your apartment and beg for forgiveness, he was better than that. Which is why he was dating someone else in hopes he could finally move on. John though? You’d picked John out of anyone to date.

“I’ll see you at home tonight, make sure to grab a bottle of wine on your way home.” You left with a pep in your step, a bright smile on your face.

John fell more in love with each day that passed, even when Johnny would(jokingly)tease him about it. You were the woman for him, and he was going to make sure you never doubted the love he had for you. Which was why he had the ring hidden in his desk here at the base, no reason for you to be snooping where he worked. He could feel Simon’s gaze boring into the side of his head, if looks could kill. This wasn’t about them though, you’d moved on with your life as did he, and in turn you and John were together.

There was nothing he would do to change any of it.

tagging: @dante-mightdie @thesinsoflust @gaylemonshark

[f0xgl0v3]

Camp Half Blood Schedule

As of now I have 14 pages for the schedule and describing stuff and activities and it’s all mush, my brain is mush and please I want to go home and see my family 🥺😭😭

In all reality this is a combination of procrastinating reading Tower of Nero because all the characters I really care about have been drop kicked out of the narrative and I’m at my grandparents house. I have nothing to do and I have a horrible sense of time so let’s get into this (plus sometime down the line I’ll go over HoO re-imagining like. Camp Jupiter processes but I’m reading some books about the Roman legion so I’m gonna, tough that out and then report back lol)

Disclaimer!! I don’t know what time is, time is something that eludes my brain and the only summer camp I’ve been to was a Christian one with a foster family because I was bored that summer and I said why not (I’m not Christian but it was funny). Also I like completely forgot if there is anything in the books that actually have schedule lore. I forgot most things with CHB to be honest.

So anyways, actual meat and potatoes

7:30- wake up and get ready. Yes 7:30 sounds reasonable to me. It gives the kids 30 minutes before breakfast and campers can wake up before the ‘official’ time.

On Fridays we have cabin inspections, dictated by the arbitrary ‘one day we picked someone to do it first and now we’re on a rotation’.

8:00-8:30; breakfast time, yes you only get 30 minutes for breakfast we have things to do and does it take you more than 30 minutes to gobble up breakfast? (No judgement it took me 2 hours to eat lunch one time) but If I ever let the other 13+ pages of notes come to light they’ll be more in depth stuff about. Everything, but breakfast time includes

- one cabin setting up the Dining Pavilion

-Everyone offering to the Gods

-Morning announcements!

-yum actually eat food

-plate staking/cleaning up the tables

8:30-10:00; the first activity. The activities are your going to the arena, or the forge, all that jazz. Uh, there’s a board in the Big House where counselors set up the schedules (as in signing up for activities n stuff and coordinating) I’ll get into it someday. Maybe.

10:00-12:00; Activity 2/downtime. Because pinky swear just chilling is an activity. Downtime is important. I wrote down that cabins can sign for the same thing back to back if they so wish. Also the rules are looser than the words clinging onto my brain so really anything happens. It’s CHB they laugh in the face of a rule.

12:00-12:30; Lunch time. Nothing special about it. Uh ,:3

12:30-2:00; third activity. Action packed days for the win!

2:00-4:00; fourth activity time. Also probably when most of the campers start cabin revolts. No one agrees on a schedule most of the time.

4:00-4:30; actual specific free time. Some moments to gather round and chill out. You’ve already spent most of your day, doing something.

4:30-5:30; activity 5. Most of the time this can just be a continuation of the free time.

Don’t ask me what those extra 10 minutes are for no one really ever knows

After 6 o’ clock no one is allowed on the lake. Sorry man

6:00; also the beginning of Dinner. Dinner goes as planned, usually with some Camp wide event happening because of course. Can’t have good stuff here at camp/j

7:00; Camp Sing-a-long times!

7:30-8:00; your stuck in the Cabin circle but at least you get those last few minutes to hang out without the threat of harpies later in the night.

8:00; all campers enter cabins for like getting ready to go to bed and stuff. Get your last conversations in

8:30; official curfew is in effect. No one can leave the cabins except for counselors who need to plan the next day because they aren’t planning their full week on Sunday.

I have notes also on like. Everything else ,:3 Chiron gets lessons and the Cabins have to do those and stuff. Sorry I haven’t been, posting long posts like this for a while lol. I’ll probably get some HoO re-imagined Camp Jupiter content out once I finish this one book I’m reading and have my CJ notebook (yes I do have a whole notebook dedicated to CJ there’s my fun fact). Also, at some point I’d like to introduce Charlico (Chiron’s WIFE) to CHB if possible. Love you Charlico/j

Okay ,:3 I think I sound a little delirious, tomorrow I have to get on a plane and after that I have to go stay a week at someone else’s place. I’ll see all of you soon to talk about the forge or something. Or maybe I’ll finally get my master lists all sorted out and stuff lol.

[xxladyballadxx]

Pushing Me Away

Steve Fox x (fem) Reader

Summary: Steve has been constantly having nightmares during his sleep and you noticed something was up with him. You wanted to talk to him about what’s going on in his mind, he kept pushing you away.…

Warning: N/A

★ dividers by : @saradika-graphics ★

You woke up in the middle of the night with Steve beside you in bed, shaking like a leaf and mumbling something under his breath quietly which you couldn’t make out of it. It turned out that he was having a terrible nightmare. This has happened a few times. Sleepless nights with Steve having bad dreams. For some reason, he won’t talk about it. You got anxious by the sight of your poor husband, you placed your hand on his muscles to snap him out of that horrible dream he’s having, “Steve!” You called out to him, “Steve!!” Raising your voice in concern was loud enough to bring him back to reality. Steve got up with a little panic, his hand on his chest as he breathed heavily. 

“Steve…” you held his face, motioning it directly to you, “Honey…are you okay?” 

“I’m..fine..” he responded, his voice shaking. You knew he was lying straight to your face. “You’re not fine, Steve. You’ve been having nightmares for a while and yet you won’t talk to me about it…?” 

Steve sighed, squeezing your hand in his palm, “It’s nothing, love.” He gave you a kiss on the cheek with a broken smile and laid back down to sleep, “Get some sleep, darling.” It hurts you so much to see your husband like this, so you didn’t pressure him any further. You laid your head back on the pillow, trying to sleep while figuring out what’s the matter with him. 

You cooked breakfast in the morning, a smell of food rubbed up in Steve’s nostrils as he went over to the table, putting a piece of egg and bacon together in his mouth. You sat beside him and began to eat your food in silence, finding a way to talk to your husband about his current nightmares. Steve finished his breakfast before you, he hopped over to the sink to put his empty plate away to be washed. He grabbed his gym bag by the table below and kissed you on the forehead as he headed out, leaving the house. 

Heaving a long depressing sigh as you watched him go, only giving you a kiss on the forehead and just saying goodbye. You walked up to the sink to wash the plates. For the rest of the day, you just cleaned the rooms in your house, tidied up the shelves, sorted out the books, etc. Today was your day off and you didn’t have work. 

As you put your lips to a cup of vanilla latte while reading a book about two people who came across from different universes, you tried to think of a way to talk to Steve about what's been bugging him for a while. Him and his nightmares. 

Thinking of resolving it in a calm manner but the truth is; you can’t really help it when Steve, your own husband, kept pushing you away like this. It causes you so much anger and the more he pushes you away, the more upset you get. On some days while Steve was out, you cried in your bed, wetting the pillow with your sobbing tears as you clenched on the sheets. 

You just had enough of your husband treating you like this, pushing you away and not saying a single word to you about what’s bugging him so badly. 

So when your husband came home from the gym, he walked into the living room seeing you sat down on the couch. “Hey (Name) I-” 

“Honey, we need to talk.” You added, “And I would like for you to sit down here with me.I want to talk to you about something..” he listened to you without hesitation, Steve believed that he knows what it’s all about but that doesn’t stop him from seating himself next to you on the couch. 

“Look, I know you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately because of the nightmares you were having. I’m getting sick and tired of you pushing me away and not telling me what’s going on with you.” You tried not to spill the boiling anger in your tone, your heart felt a prick of pain with your voice breaking, “Please, Steve…don’t shut me out like this. Let me carry that pain you’ve been holding. Let me carry that burden with you..” You squeezed his hand with a calming gaze, hoping that he would open up to you. Steve thought he was always alone but he never truly was. 

He had you. Steve was never the type for romance but his life changed a lot when he first met you. Fell in love at first sight and then a few years after, you two married each other and lived happily ever after. 

Steve realized how much this was hurting you, how much you were hurting for him. He pulled you into him, his bulky arms hooked around your back, “I’m sorry, (Name)..” 

“It’s okay, sweetie..” you hugged him back, caressing the side of his face as you kissed him on the cheek tenderly. Steve pulled away, finally opening up to speak about what’s been on his mind. “I’ve been having nightmares about the time that I was at the lab..”

“The day you were created by the Mishima Zaibatsu? The things that they were experimenting on you..?” 

“Yes. Ever since I was just a test subject to them. I thought I will never get the chance to experience life properly. I even thought I had no family until now. Even though she doesn’t care about me at all…” You knew who he was talking about. 

Nina Williams…Steve Fox’s birthmother…

The woman who was used in the lab to create babies and to make them into supersoldiers by the man himself…Heihachi Mishima…

He ruined Steve’s life…

The Supersoldier Program created by Heihachi, turned out to be a huge failure and most children died because of it…

Before you and Steve got officially married, he told you about his past. He struggled at first to tell you because he couldn’t find the right time to. Steve feared that you might leave him after telling you about his past. The things he was meant to become. You felt your whole heart trembling, you never knew he had a rough life in his childhood. Never knew he was going through that. 

It didn’t stop you from caring about him so much. After Steve finally opened up to you and talked to you, he wanted to make it up to you by taking you to the beach at night to gaze at the stars. Somehow he felt so much better right after opening up to you. 

As the gorgeous night sky glowed with little gleaming pearls, you spun your way to the ocean and took off your shoes to feel the sand tickling your feet. This moment brought up a heart-warming smile on Steve’s face. Your laughter of joy lightened up his heart. Steve believes that he truly doesn’t deserve you at all. Love was hard for him to understand since he never had it with anyone before. Until he met someone that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with…

Honestly, how lucky is he to have a wonderful wife like you?

He made his way to you, urging to embrace you in his arms. You gasped when he snuggled you close to him, “I love you so much, (Name). Without you, my life would be so miserable. I’m the luckiest man alive on earth to have someone special like you in my life.”

His loving words crawled through your heart, creating a whirl of warm emotions flowing inside, “Oh Steve! You mean so much to me and I can’t live without you. Damn…Steve Fox, you are my everything.” 

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・ a/n - Okay so there might be a few mistakes on this fanfic I wrote but honestly...I do not give a F*CK anymore.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

[landofzero-archive]

Battle on the Sugoroku Board - The Die Has Been Cast 1

(Location: Time Street)

Rinne: Fuah, fu……Aa~ So sleepy……

So glad that “Beehive”’s a success. Wasn’t expecting it to be so lively till morning, but it turned out to be a good distraction for me.

Now then. My head’s spinning after that all-nighter, so I guess it’s about time for me to go home and sleep.

Madara: Good Morniiiiiiiing!

Rinne: Shut up……!?

What. Are you just coming home from staying out all night? You’re a bad kid, don’t come to me if the police detain you.

Madara: Hahaha. My bad, my bad. I saw a familiar face, so, ya know.

I’m just being consistent with SS and wanted to return the favouur!

Rinne: Oi oi, are you for real, Mikeneko-chan. (1)

About that, that’s just how that was directed. I can’t compete with someone who goes around raising his voice everywhere.

Madara: Mikeneko-chan?

Rinne: Isn’t it a good nickname for someone with a free spirit? It’s a cuter name than the dangerous bees that sting people ♪

More importantly. Why are you here? Meeting an idol who roams about in a playground isn’t impressive ya know?

Madara: Unfortunately however, I wasn’t out enjoying the nightlife.

Even though MaM’s been feeling like it’s being neglected, lately the jobs have been increasing little by little.

I’ve been loitering around here since morning, trying to take advantage of this momentum and see if it would turn into a job for me.

The shopping district is around here, I’m sure there are lots of people from the industry world who would be returning home in the morning after staying out all night, just like Rinne-san.

Rinne: I see. I really thought you stayed up all night and it got you all excited.

But still, feeling neglected by the entertainment business huh…… That sounds pretty familiar.

The world is relentless in so many ways, right? Rinne-kun’s starting to hate it……!

Madara: CrazyB’s been feeling neglected too huh. I heard about it a lot from Kohaku-san.

Because I get into trouble every time I take up a job, it feels like I only get handed strange jobs that everyone else would shy away from, or something.

Rinne: Yep yep. It’s really horrible. It’s not fun to just be surrounding yourself with people who are goody-two-shoes right?

That’s why I’m rooting for you too, Mikeneko-chan.

’Kay. As an older brother, I’m gonna treat you to a beef bowl!

There’s nothing more delicious to eat than a beef bowl after staying up all night. It’s a farewell gift from me, so eat it! (2)

Madara: A beef bowl? No, I’m not particularly hungry.

Rinne: What, you’re saying you’re not gonna eat my beef bowl?

You’re so cold~ You’re going to reject this Senpai-in-life who’s really raring to go?

Even though I really wanna go eat some food with Mikeneko-chan~?

Madara: I get it, I get it. If you’re insisting that much, I’ll join you.

Mutual fate!(3) Meeting you here must have been some sort of fate. right?

(Location: Season Avenue (In Front of Convenience Store))

(30 minutes later)

Rinne: I ate, I ate ♪

 Wow, after that nourishment resupply, my headache is settling down considerably! Thank you!

Madara: Me too. It was a treat.

Well then, it’s about time I get going. I was actually in the middle of a walk, seee.

I’m going to try to find some interesting job or other while on the walk.

Madara: ……Ohh?

Rinne: What’s this? Mikeneko-chan, your smartphone and mine are ringing at the same time?

Madara: Rinne-san, this is a KiraKira Mail. It seems that a new job request’s come up.

Rinne: “Battle on the Sugoroku Board”——A multiple agency inter-agency competition in which idols from CosPro and NewDi will participate in, huh?

It’s “Open World Sugoroku” where you fight using dice…... I don’t get what that means,but basically, you fight in units based on your agency.

I thought we’re finally going to hit it off, but things never go so smoothly, huh.

”Yesterday’s enemy is today’s enemy too” and all that ♪

Madara: Hahaha. It’s a fitting curtain call for us.

Looking from the perspective of the SS Final competition, it’s like yesterday’s enemy has come to become an opponent once again.

In any case, this is the new job that we’ve been eagerly waiting for.

It’s disappointing that the objective of my walk was realized in an unexpected way, but I can’t say thaat. Let’s reply to this in a positive way.

Rinne: Yeah. Of course I’ll be participating too. It’s sorta rare to get to do jobs from over that side ♪

Welp, I guess it’s time I go home now. Hope you’ll go easy on me the next time we meet ♪

Madara: Ah. I’m looking forward to it toooo. Let’s compete fair and square.

Rinne: Gyaahaha ♪ Coming from you?

Weeell, I’m looking forward to it. In more ways than one ♪

TL Notes 1. Calico kitty. Referencing Mikejima’s name, as the 'Mike' in his name can be read as ‘tri-coloured’ which uses the same kanji as in the word for Calico cat (Mikeneko).

2. Yes he said farewell gift ( 餞別 )…I have no idea why either.

3. 合縁奇縁 - a four character idiom that describes the relationship that happens between two people due to fate.

Previous | Directory | Next

[specialagentlokitty]

Thomas Barrow x sister!reader - different roads but still family

Hey, was wondering if you’d be able to write a flashback of sorts to Thomas Barrow x sister readers childhood. Maybe just a couple of wholesome memories from before Thomas’s life at Downton and his relationship with younger sister reader. Would be nice to see a different side to Thomas from the persona we see in Downton, though giving what he mentioned about his childhood (regarding his father and such) I’m unsure what he would have been like as a kid and young teen. - Anon💜

Thomas sat on his bed, looking at the childish drawing in his hands.

It was one of his most prized possessions, and he ran his thumb along the name scrawled messily on the bottom corner.

(Y/N) Barrow.

His sister, his little sister whom he had up and left in a terrible household because he couldn’t bare to be there anymore.

He sometimes if you were still just as happy as you were as a child, and wondered what you had done with yourself.

He wondered if you found yourself recalling life all those years ago like he did, like he was doing.

“Father will not be pleased with this.”

You looked up at your older brother, grinning a little bit.

You held the toy out to him, shaking it in your hands a little bit.

“You must use your words if you want something.”

You didn’t like speaking, and often didn’t say a word if anybody else was around, but when it was you and Thomas sometimes you would speak.

Thought he always had to remind you to use words when there was something you wanted from him.

“Play?” You asked.

Thomas sighed, shaking his head.

“I have no time, I must do the chores before father gets home.”

Your grin fell a little bit.

“Play?” You asked a little sadly.

Thomas sighed heavily this time, sitting down on the floor, taking the toy from you.

“Fine, but only for a few moments, then I must do the chores (Y/N).”

You beamed from ear to ear and shuffled over to sit next to him, grabbing a stick you had brought in from outside and began to hit the floor.

Thomas rolled his eyes but said nothing, because as long as he took the stick out and cleaned the dirt it was fine.

You got him to play games for a short while before he got up to begin to do his chores, and you got up to follow him.

Thomas smiled a little as he remembered how you were like his little shadow, wherever he went you wanted to go with him.

And you would.

But not all the memories were happy.

You sat next to your brother on the grass, and you reached into your pockets, pulling out some food for him.

“Im not hungry.”

“Maybe not, but you must eat Thomas, please.”

He said nothing.

“You know it is okay to cry if you want to.”

“A man does not cry.” He snapped.

You turned to look at him slightly.

“Everybody must cry sometimes Thomas Barrow, to cry does not mean you are weak or any less than a man. It means you have some emotions you need to let out, and that is okay.”

“Well perhaps you should tell father that.”

You smiled softly at him, reaching out to take his hand.

“Father is a horrible man, you needn’t pay any mind to what he says. One day you are going to become so successful, then father will ever regret being so nasty towards you.”

“Do not say what you do not mean.”

“I mean it very much, you are a good person, and the best brother. I love you very much Thomas.”

He glanced at you.

“Will you always love me? Even if I did not become successful? Even with everything father says…?”

You held out your arms for him.

“Of course I will.”

Thomas leant forward to hug him, and you smiled sadly.

“Father will be home late today, go Thomas. Run and never look back..” you whispered.

He pulled away with a shocked look.

“I cannot leave you here.”

“I will be fine, promise me you will go Thomas. You must go, please, to be safe.”

“And what about you?”

“Father is kinder on me than he is on you.”

Thomas went ti argue, but the look in your eyes told him there was something you knew that he didn’t.

So he made the most of that evening with you, spending all evening by your side, even if it was just to do chores before he left.

Thomas was there for everything, he taught you how to read and write when he could, he taught you everything you needed to know to survive.

In return, you protected him the best you could, always made him smile and comforted him.

And thinking about you brought tears to the otherwise emotionless man’s eyes.

Because he loved you.

Sighing softly, he set the picture back in the bow and closed it, running a hand down his face as he steeled his emotions.

Thomas took a breath and returned to his duties, getting ready for the dinner party that was being thrown tonight.

As he was walking around serving drinks, the doors were opened again, and Mr Carson stepped in.

“The honourable Lady (Y/N) has arrived my lord.”

“Ah brilliant, bring her through, Barrow set her a place at the table.”

“Very good my lord.”

Thomas rushed around collecting last minute things, mumbling how people should just learn to turn up on time to events.

When he came back, he set another plate and glass down, and he pulled the chair out.

“I do apologise Lord Grantham, there was a slight mix up with my schedule.”

“You needn’t apologise, you are here and that is what counts, come and sit.”

Thomas returned to his spot, and he watched as the newcomer came walking through, and his eyes were glued to her.

Because he would recognise his baby sister anywhere.

And apparently you recognised him as well because you froze in your place as you stared at him.

“Is there a problem? We can send Barrow away if he makes you uncomfortable.” Lady Cora spoke.

“No, please, let him stay.”

You smiled, stepping away from the table as you walked over to him.

“My big brother, an esteemed butler, who would have thought?” You asked gently.

“Technically I am not a butler, I am under butler.”

“That does not matter, you made something of yourself Thomas, that’s what counts.”

You reached up and hugged him, and he hugged you back, letting out a small breath.

“Little (Y/N), a lady, who would have thought?” He whispered.

You turned to the lord of the house.

“May I request my brother sits with me? I understand he may not be allowed to dine with us, but I should like for him to at least sit by my side.”

“Well… I suppose we have no need for so many to be acting as footmen tonight..” lord Grantham mumbled.

“Ignore him, of course Barrow my sit with you Lady (Y/N).”

You smiled, sitting down, gesturing for him to sit next to you.

He had so many questions for you, but for now they didn’t matter. What mattered was he knew you were okay, and he could see you had made a name for yourself.

And Thomas couldn’t be more proud of you

[vixen525noms]

Defying Certain Death Part 10

Copied from my DeviantArt account, a non-sexual G/T vore story featuring adults along the lines of the lion and the thorn fable. There will be tons of hurt/comfort aspects, lots of safe vore. That is the primary focus in this.

Barrett is and adult giant standing 85ft tall and Hope is an adult human at 5ft 6. Barrett does not eat children at any point.

Warnings: Unwilling Prey; Fatal Mention (Implied future); Characters in Distress

Future: While this part is relatively tame, future parts include fatal vore and violence. Barrett, the giant, is not a good guy, so will be doing some occasional bad things.

Picture | First | Previous | Next

-----

Hope sighed, uncertain about the best way to answer. “Well... I’m not entirely sure about the distance... a storm took out almost everything I had growing, so I made this trip to get enough to start over. But the reason what I grow is valuable is because it is typically found a great distance away, too far to easily travel. I had to sell the last of my supply... and most of my other belongings, to be able to afford to make this trip... My best guess is my village is about fifty or sixty aroys from here.”

Barrett paused, shocked at the distance. An aroy was about a full day’s walk for him, and she had come that far? No wonder she sold her whole stock, she must have paid someone to make a portal. And it meant she probably hadn’t thought she’d be able to go back for some time, if at all. It only served to increase his curiosity about her, leading to more questions rather than answers. “So what are your plans then, Hope?” “I… I’m not entirely sure. I was just going to continue gathering plants, get some sprouts started, and head in the general direction of home. I hadn’t decided if I’d go the whole way or settle somewhere between here and there.” “Well consider my offers… I could provide you some things from my collection, and you’d be set...” 

He paused suddenly when he caught a scent, one that reminded him of the need for him to get food. He closed his eyes and sniffed the air a bit, smiling. About time he found something. “Hope? I’ll be getting you out shortly. I’ll be sure to put you near some water so you can clean up while I hunt.” “Thank goodness... despite your reassurances; this is still pretty scary for me.” Barrett turned, heading first towards where his sense of smell indicated water to be closest. It looked like a lake that the mountain river lead down to... and was likely where the caravan he smelled was heading. He was pretty sure they were far enough that Hope wouldn’t see or hear anything while she washed up... He had a pretty good feeling that if she knew what kind of prey he found, she would probably be upset. He may have nothing against hunting humans and similar prey, but he didn’t want to upset Hope if it could be avoided. Not after all she did for him.

He made his way to the lakeside, closing his eyes briefly as he knelt down. He would be ravenously hungry once he got Hope back out, and he wasn’t looking forward to that feeling of desperation. But it would no doubt be horribly traumatizing to Hope if he didn’t get her out first. Thankfully, bringing the girl back up wasn’t too difficult. Do to the potential risk that came with their habit of consuming live prey, they were able to bring back up anything they swallowed with relative ease. Before long, his small rescuer was back in his mouth, and he opened it slowly with his hand held out in front of it, letting her crawl out on her own. His stomach was already complaining at its emptiness, but he focused on how much he owed Hope, and the presence of nearby prey, to resist the urge to swallow her back down again.

He lowered her to the ground near the lake and stood, not wanting to linger near her while his need for food was so strong. “I’ll return soon,” he said simply before turning and walking between the trees nearby. He almost immediately heard the sound of Hope going into the water to wash off. 

After he had gone a bit of distance, he crouched lower, moving more quietly as he caught the scent of the humans and horses of the caravan again. He smiled, looking forward to a meal of more than just a couple mountain sheep. But he’d also have to be careful not to eat too much. After all, he’d had significantly less food for a few weeks, so his stomach would have shrunk. Eating as much as he might normally have could very well kill him. Perhaps he could save some for later... That might work.

Ears perked as he heard the humans in the caravan talking. He continued moving forward slowly, only stopping when he could just barely make out the road between the trees ahead. They were getting closer... why run after them if they would come right to him? He could wait a couple minutes. He could even get them to stop right in front of him. Just listen to them get closer, then lunge once they were in sight. 

Barrett carefully grabbed a fallen tree from the nearby woods, moving it to block the road. As he did this, he heard a word that drew his attention to their conversation. “...syor when heading this way. They had his road off limits for a while because apparently some were crossing further past the mountains and took out some of the travelers along this route.” The voice sounded male.

“So what changed? Why is the road cleared for general travel now if it wasn’t before?” The second voice also seemed to be male, although seemed younger than the first.

“Well, the town ahead has defenses against their kind, but having the road at risk cut off supplies from them. Way I heard it; they hired a couple of terran geomancers to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem anymore.”

“How’d they manage that?”

“I don’t know the details. Try asking Marie, she’s always listening in to the latest news and stuff.”

“Hey Marie!” Before they younger of the men could ask, a female voice spoke up, “I overheard you. Loud as you two are, it’d be impossible not to have heard you. Yes, I know about it, way I heard it they were supposed to make it impassable, but decided it would be easier to bobby trap it... Shit, can we talk about this later? Looks like you two boys are going to have to clear the road ahead.”

About this time, Barrett was finally able to see the two horses pulling the pair of carts coming around the bend. He smiled as the first came to a stop, and the second soon after it. The pair of men riding in the first cart got out to move the tree, and Barrett stepped out behind the two carts. The woman driving the second cart screamed as his shadow passed over them, and the two men turned around just as Barrett reached over to grab them. 

Picture | First | Previous | Next

[twistedtummies2]

Stuffed (Post-Stuffing/Implied Vore)

This is just a super, Super, SUPER thirsty, rambling little mini-story (of sorts) I whipped up in about a half hour. It was actually inspired by me over-eating at a restaurant recently. Go figure. :P Enjoy, fellow weirdos. BE WARNED: THIS BE VERY, VERY KINKY BUSINESS.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I belch deeply. The sound thunders through my innards, making something inside of me tremble. I can feel my guts squelch around something that used to be solid, mulching and pulping it further into a mushy paste that rests like the filling of a stress ball inside my belly. I groan, my face feeling warm and flushed. My cheeks must be mottled green and red, like some bizarre holiday experiment gone horribly wrong. The green would be because I. AM. SO. STUFFED. I can’t even move. I don’t WANT to move. My body is just…done. My belly roils and tosses, like the magma brewing in the bowels of an active volcano preparing to erupt. It takes every bit of personal effort I have to simply lift one shaky arm and slap my hand against my stomach. I bite my lip with a mixture of discomfort and pleasure as I feel my taut, stretched, pinkish skin ripple from the blow. The red in my cheeks is the thought of how proud I must make him. I find myself whimpering as I think of how he’ll react when he comes home…my stomach is just aching to be pampered, as well as just plain aching. I hope, almost pray, he’ll give it the attention my body is begging for. I curl my toes, imagining his feather-light fingertips…then imagining how they might change their method from soft, simple strokes and caresses to a full-blown massage. I think of those hands, those beautiful hands, pressing down into my gut…I imagine the way it will feel, sensing the food inside of me being further broken up. Feeling lumps of nourishing goop liquefy as he presses, prods, and fondles my burgeoning middle. I fidget, wondering if he might even decide to kiss my tummy…tell me how good a job I’ve done, eating up every little morsel he left for me to consume. I have to eat it all up. Because every bit of me is going to be part of him. That’s why I’m eating so much. It hurts…but it feels SO GOOD. Not only the sensation of intense, over-embiggened fullness that makes my insides creak and wobble like a battered old windmill machine…but knowing that the more I eat, and the bigger I get…the bigger HE will get to. My blush intensifies, momentarily chasing away the green in my proverbial gills. Maybe…maybe he’ll make it happen tonight. Maybe I’m finally too tempting for him to resist. My heart beats faster as my breath - already labored due to the weight inside my stomach, and the lethargy flowing through my bloodstream - intensifies its own rate and pace. I’m already imagining him drooling over me as he walks into the room, teasing me with how big I’m getting. He’ll probably say something like, “Are you trying to beat my record, little morsel?” or perhaps, “My, my, what have we here? A piece of stuffed pork?” I almost pout. Almost. He has a tendency to say such rude things when he sees me getting ready for my eventual date with his own belly…but I know he’s just being affectionate. There’s no lechery and no malice in those words, just playful teasing. It’s just his way. And I…I feel no real shame. After all, he’s MASSIVE compared to me, even at this point, and he never feels any shame at all. Not when he moans and belches and coos over the good little meal sitting in his stomach…not when he admires his ever-growing mass in the mirror, and murmurs sweet nothings to the tiny pieces of pudge that still remain semi-sentient inside his girth. Folds of blubber he lovingly tends to every day…or sometimes allows me to tend to, with the ever-present reminder I’ll be part of him, like all the others. The bigger I am, and the less ashamed of it I am, the more he praises me, and tells me how proud he is of me. And the happier he is, the happier I am…the BIGGER he is, the more filled with satisfaction I am. My stomach lurches and I groan, the green overriding the crimson once more. I don’t know how he STANDS eating so much, though…he makes it look so easy when he has someone kicking and squirming inside his stomach. He doesn’t seem to break a sweat while they slowly melt away, over days and days, inside his body. He doesn’t seem remotely bothered when the wiggles fade and there’s only him, nothing more. Just him. I whimper and whine, running my fingers over my compact underbelly. Even now, I know that if he were to swallow me, in this very moment…I wouldn’t make a dent in his giant, hulking body…and that only makes me want it so much more. I’ve seen the way he drools over me whenever I eat so much, and lay here, waiting for him to return and tell me if I did a good job. He always does, encouraging me and kissing my cheek, reminding me of how I’m going to give him So. Much. Gas. Burping in my face and teasing me when I belch as well from how bloated my stomach has become. Every day this sort of thing happens, he says some variation of the same thing: “It’s so hard to hold back. I’m so hungry just looking at you. Someday, soon, I’ll take you, and you will be mine. Mine forever. No more you. Only me.” I close my eyes, focusing on the bubbling in the lowest portion of my swollen stomach. As it settles, I feel my lips curl upwards. Something in there just slipped deeper into my intestines…I wonder how long it would take for me to end up in his, to any degree. Maybe I won’t have to wait long. I can hear the door opening and closing downstairs. Now I’m able to sense his footsteps…so heavy…like the footsteps of a giant. Of a God. He’s so BIG. And I’m just here to make him bigger. I’m so eager for when that happens. Please make it today. Please, tell me I’m irresistible. That you have to have me inside of you now. Please, swallow me. Make me more of you. Nothing will make me feel more fulfilled, even if the food you give me does, indeed, make me feel most full AND filled. As the door opens, I’m already imagining his hot, steaming maw, pulling itself wide open before me, for a kiss that will be deeper than any other, and completely without end. I’m already imagining his horrible yet beautiful breath and those sharp, pointed teeth tickling my skin. I’m helpless. I can’t move with this heavy cargo inside my belly. I hope that’s a sign that I’m ready to take the plunge. Am I his dinner, or must I wait longer, and be forced to eat another day so that he can be even more gorgeously humongous, all thanks to me? For me, it’s a win-win situation…but somehow, as I see those greedy, needy eyes peer at me from the doorway, I already know. I’m about to make him feel exactly the way I feel now. Completely. Totally. “UUUUUURRRRRRRRP!” Stuffed.

[memryse]

kind of a personal post but i just need to yell into the void for a bit in a way where maybe there will be somebody with advice

i moved abroad about seven months ago to study, i’m seven thousand miles away from literally everybody that i know irl. i’ve been able to make a couple of friends who i hang out with sometimes but not properly clicked with anyone so. it generally feels very lonely here i don’t really have any kind of support system

basically as soon as i arrived my body decided it was going to develop pretty awful ibs. i did not have ibs when i left the uk other than feeling sick after i drank orange juice. ever since arriving here however i’ve had chronic pain, or rather chronic “feeling like my lower abdomen is burning from the inside”, about as often as i’ve not had it. it happened less over the winter but i think that might be because it’s partially connected to how hot it gets here

and theres just kind of. nothing i can do about it because you can’t fix chronic pain. i’ve been living mostly off convenience store food because i don’t have a kitchen and the small food places and night markets that most people usually eat at here instantly have horrible effects on me. and within the convenience store food i mostly alternate the same few options because i already have a pretty limited food palate from the probable autism (fun fact gastrointestinal issues are more common in autistic people) and even if i didn’t have that going on i’m so hesitant to try anything new here because i haven’t figured out what the main triggers are for making me sick. and not even that helps anyway i am still in pain.

there isn’t any point in paying to go to a doctor because i know full well what the issue is and there’s no treatment for the chronic pain so all i can do is wait it out. but it sucks because i keep having to miss classes, i don’t go as many places as i want to because either i’m physically ill or generally just too demotivated from being in pain to organise anything myself and also not having much of a social circle so i just feel like i’m wasting my time here. i’ve done some really cool stuff but it’s hard not to be jealous of the people who are having the time of their lives doing stuff every day when i can’t even go to university without being in pain a lot of the time and my own views are one thing but whenever other people ask me what i’ve been up to and it’s not much because i’ve been sick or just don’t have enough friends to be doing stuff as constantly as they are and they’re obviously being judgemental about it. That kinda sucks.

and i know bad sleep and not eating regular meals make it worse but when i don’t want to go to sleep because of the pain and i don’t want to eat because of the pain it’s just the world’s worst cycle and now i’m up at 5am being sad

i only have two months left until i go home but also it feels so lame to be so looking forward to leaving but god i’ve had so many misfortunes here. i really hope this goes away when i go back home and can eat my normal diet again and just like. Exist without pain :(

i don’t usually make personal posts i like to vent elsewhere but sometimes you really just need to write a long rant somewhere that maybe someone in a similar situation will see yknow

[audioaujom]

27: Victim's Memoirs [wrong end 4 ★5]

Corpse Party Hub, < prev, next >

This is wrong end 4 ★5 from Chapter 2! A lot of these bad endings are fucked up and awful but I honestly debated not writing this one because it’s nasty, but… when whump calls lmao

I've also written (or begun writing) nearly every other bad ending for this game and I guess this one felt left out idk

I know compared to a lot of the other graphic shit on this hellsite this is probably nothing, but I’d feel uncomfortable posting this without a bunch of warnings. I don’t really have a taste for such graphic things, but I’m actually kind of pleased with how it came out. I like the ick ig Be safe and enjoy responsibly.

Pairing: Ranboo and Charlie

Word Count: 3190

Chapter TWs: Mind Manipulation ("Darkening"), Graphic Depictions of Violence, Gore, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Vomiting, Character Death

--

“Whoa hey, do you see that?” Charlie asked as he stepped out of the classroom, Ranboo poking his head out the door to look over his friend’s shoulder at the floor.

“The notebook paper with blood on it?” Ranboo asked, Charlie turning around to face him with a sinister grin. “Yeah, I see it. Why?”

“C’mon, aren’t you curious?” Charlie all but whined, his eyes darting back and forth between the page and Ranboo���s disapproving glare from the doorway.

“Uhm, not really. What’s it gonna say? ‘Here’s how to get out of this horrible haunted elementary school in three easy steps’?” 

“It could!” Ignoring the obvious deadpan, Charlie smiled hopefully up at Ranboo—who just sighed and shook his head.

“No, it really couldn’t.” Ranboo then paused, an unreadable look crossing his face before he continued, “But I’m not going to stop you if you do wanna look.”

“Aha! You are curious!” Charlie poked a finger into the taller boy’s chest, his smile splitting into a wide grin. “It’s just as I suspected!” Triumphant, he turned and swiped the paper up off the ground, eyes scanning the page from behind his glasses before his grip on the page tightened and his face paled. “Oh. Oh god nevermind.”

“What? What’s it say?” Ranboo asked, his own curiosity morbidly piqued by Charlie’s horror, taking the scrap paper from his friend who passed it over wordlessly.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I ate my friend today. What else was I supposed to do? I was starving. We both were. And there's no food here. So we decided, together, that one of us should try to live just a little bit longer. If I ever get home, I'm supposed to tell all the people waiting for us what happened. We left it all up to a game of rock-paper-scissors. Loser eats winner. And I lost. I felt her blood going down my throat, quenching my thirst. And her meat was surprisingly satisfying. But that blood and that meat was once my friend. Up until just a few hours before, I'd been talking with her. As I feasted, I just kept thinking, this food used to be a person. Before I tore it apart, it all worked together to sustain a life. And every time I thought about that, I just started crying… and I couldn't stop. I wanted some part of her to be with me even after she died, so I decided to keep one of her eyeballs. And I thought maybe I should write all of this down, to help preserve some small portion of my sanity. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Oh.” Ranboo gagged in disgust and horror, dropping the page to put one hand over his mouth as the other went to clutch at his stomach. “Well, alright. That’s… wow, okay. Um…”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Charlie tried to joke, but it fell flat as his voice shook nervously. He then put a gentle hand on Ranboo’s shoulder, quietly suggesting, “Let’s just… leave that there.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” Ranboo nodded, staring down at the paper on the floor, his look turning to a slight glare. “Just when I think things can’t get any worse…”

“C’mon, let's keep looking somewhere else.” Charlie offered, lightly pulling Ranboo by the arm away from the classroom and towards the stairs.

The two silently made their way back down to the first floor, wanting to search in a more orderly fashion by working their way up from the bottom. By the time they’d made it downstairs the odd tension in the air had already dissipated, them hunting in a much more comfortable silence until—

“Uhm… Ranboo? Is that…?” Charlie asked tentatively, pointing at another rather innocuous piece of notebook paper lying behind a ruined table near the rows of shoe shelves at the front doors.

“Another bloody piece of notebook paper probably containing horror beyond my worst imagination?” Ranboo responded rhetorically, giving Charlie a look as he blandly stated, “I think so.”

“Would it be wrong of me to say I’m still curious?” Glancing at Ranboo beside him, Charlie quickly backpedaled, “Not in a weird sort of way, I just… if it’s from the same person I want to know what happened to them.”

Ranboo stared at him blankly. “Why are you asking for my permission?” 

“It makes me feel better.”

“Wow, no hesitation there.” Ranboo shook his head at his friend’s immediate answer, sighing and gesturing forward at the page. “Sure. Go read it if you really want to.”

“Okay!” Charlie nodded, jogging forward and crouching down before looking up as he realized he wasn't being followed. “Are you not coming too?”

Ranboo stood still for a long moment before he finally gave in and stepped over with a quiet, “...coming.” 

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I hold, in the palm of my hand... a piece of a person's body. A piece of a person who was living and breathing only a short while ago. This body part used to be attached to her head. And now, I'm walking around the school with it. I had no idea eyeballs were so heavy. And I just keep squishing it in the palm of my hand, as if I'm testing its firmness. Squeeze, and release... Squeeze, and release… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Okay.” Charlie announced, dropping the page immediately after finishing it. “Somehow that’s worse than the vivid description of cannibalism.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Ranboo grinned as Charlie turned to look at him, betrayed.

“Hey! That’s my line!” He whined with his own smile, before it slowly faded alongside the playful air as realization started to dawn on his face. “But dude… this place is really fucked up. The bodies we keep coming across are all of kids, which means—”

“Don’t. I’m gonna stop you right there.” Ranboo cut him off, firmly waving both of his hands and shaking his head for emphasis. “I don’t… don’t. Nope. I am not going to think about the implications. You are not going to think about the implications. There are no implications. None.”

Charlie nodded, his widened eyes slowly closing as he let out a breath to calm himself down. “No problem.” 

Working their way around the main floor and then to the row of first floor classrooms, the second page—while weird—was long forgotten as the two briefly bickered about how to open the nailed shut door at the back of 2-A until Ranboo remembered the nail puller they’d found earlier. The secret room was strange, with large gaps in the floor and a mechanism at the far corner, the two venturing all the way to the back corner to look over the mechanism to try and figure out what it did.

“...Charlie.” It was Ranboo who broke the silence this time, an arm flying out to the side to stop Charlie in his tracks about halfway into the room. The two boys paused, both noticing the page on the floor.

“Are these notes following us around or something?” Charlie questioned with a frown, pushing Ranboo’s arm away. “Cause we can’t seem to go more than a few feet without finding another one.”

“I don’t like this at all.” 

“Yeah, that’s… fair.” Nodding to himself, Charlie paused before shuffling forward a few steps. “...I’ve gotta, right?”

“No, you really don’t.” Ranboo answered, Charlie ignoring him as he bent down to pick up the page with a shit-eating grin. “That sounds like a yes to me!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I've been searching every last corner of this school building, trying to find a way of escaping with her. But it's not happening. No matter how much we struggle, only further misery awaits us. I'm so unbearably thirsty… so hungry that it feels like my stomach is eating itself... And every moment, it gets worse. It's like a big, black mass in front of me that's slowly closing in. I can't keep ignoring it. I've started talking to the eyeball in my hand, to help stay focused and maintain my sanity. Stop looking at me like that! I swear, I'll find us a way out of here! I have to make sure I tell your family what you did for me… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Hopeless. Lovely.” Ranboo commented from over one of Charlie’s shoulders, watching as his friend curiously started re-reading a section of the note.

“What’s that black mass thing they were talking about?” Charlie asked after he finished looking over the page, setting it back down with a huff. “That sounds a little more imposing than the hunger or thirst.”

“I’m not sure… but whatever it is we should avoid it if we can.” Ranboo sighed, staring down at the note on the floor, lost in thought.

“Oh. I assumed that went without saying.” Charlie agreed, before smirking and commenting, “Y’know, to avoid the big black ball.”

“Dude.” 

“Not even  a sliver of a smile?” Smirk dropping, Charlie sighed and shook his head. “Throw me a bone here man, I’m trying to cheer you up.”

“...thanks.” Ranboo smiled a little, recognizing Charlie’s effort but still too anxious to actually feel any sense of relief. “But the best way to cheer me up would be to stop reading these creepy notes and find a way out.”

“Aye aye, captain.” 

Ignoring Charlie’s mock salute, they continued investigating each floor systematically in an on and off silence until they reached the end of one of the hallways on the third floor, the two noticing another bloodied page near a particularly large gap in the floorboards.

“Okay, I know you said to stop reading them, but it’s right there.” 

“I already said I wouldn’t stop you like ten times, Charlie.” Ranboo sighed, watching Charlie run up to the page and instantly scan its contents.

���Epic.” About halfway down the page, Charlie's expression dropped, setting the page down with a wince of nausea. “Oh. Nevermind. I think I’m just gonna… put this back…”“What did it say?” Ranboo asked curiously, wandering over and picking up the page as soon as it hit the floor.

“Oh, you don’t wanna—” Charlie reached out to stop him, but was a moment too late as Ranboo had already begun reading. “Wait!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I am writing these memoris wit hsticky hansd but its not me that is stiky but somethng else I hope you re not mad about this maybe you will think im a horribl e person but i got hungry again really hungry like i was about to DIE so i I did something I shouldn't have done. I promised myself I would stay sane, and promised myself I wouldn't do what I did, and I am so, so sorry, really, really sorry, really sorry but there is no excuse for what I did. With my bloody hands, I took the thing that I've been squishing, and I put it in my mouth, and I swallowed it. Iateit. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“...yeah.” Ranboo silently let go of the page as Charlie spoke, letting it slowly flutter through the air until it landed at his feet, Charlie grabbing him by the shoulders to maneuver him further down the hall. “Let’s go, Ran.”

“Yeah.” Ranboo nodded absentmindedly, fiddling with his hands before glancing over at Charlie and timidly asking, “We’ll figure this out, right? You and me?”

“You and me.” Charlie affirmed, squeezing his shoulders. “We got this.” 

No matter how confident Charlie sounded Ranboo couldn’t shake his lingering anxiety, the longer they searched around the school with no clear goal only serving to make it continually spiral. By the time they’d backtracked to the second floor for a second time, it had gotten so bad he almost didn’t step off the landing and through the doorway to the floor, letting Charlie pull him along as he couldn’t seem to get himself to walk forward. The anxious ice in his veins that had shattered when Charlie urged him forward resurged rapidly after the briefest moment as both of them noticed the paper lying beside the large gap in the floor at the same time.

“...is that—?” Charlie asked, cutting himself off as the two stared at the page on the floor.

Ranboo nodded, dread coiling in his stomach as he couldn’t will himself to move any closer to it. “I think it is.”

“It’s fine.” Charlie said randomly, pulling Ranboo into a nearby classroom with a soft smile. “I’m not curious.” 

“What? Really?” Ranboo asked, disbelieving, some of the dread giving way to relief as Charlie sounded genuine and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, really. We have other priorities right now.” 

“Yeah. Yeah.” With a short nod from Ranboo, the two went back to investigating the small room. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

The classroom held nothing useful, Ranboo giving up after a few minutes and slamming shut the teacher’s desk drawer he’d pulled open in a vain hope of finding anything they could possibly use. He turned to comment about the empty nature of the classroom to Charlie, only to realize his friend was no longer beside him. Confused, he poked his head out of the doorway to see where he could’ve gone in the minute he was distracted with rifling through the desk.

“Charlie? Where’d you— NO!” The yell of surprise ripped out of Ranboo before he knew what he was saying, staring at where Charlie was crouched on the floor by the staircase with the previously seen note clutched in both of his hands. “Charlie, what are you doing?!”

“Sorry, Ran. I’m too curious.” Charlie apologized, flashing him a quick smile. “Besides, this is probably the last one, anyway. No harm, no foul.”

Reaching out, Ranboo threw himself forward to try and take the page from Charlie—who easily ducked out of the way. “No, don’t—!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — if you are reading this allow me to forewarn you there is no hope of rescue there is nothing to be gained endless wandering and endless torture is the nature of this place i succumbed to my hunger and thirst began nibbling on that corpse again there is no flavor, no sensation just meat and fluid to sate my empty belly i promised i would not desecrate your body any more but i broke that promise  please  forgive me — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Charlie had barely read the last few words on the page when his vision completely blacked out.

Everything felt wrong.

The last thing Charlie remembered was reading another one of the bloody notes—please forgive me—and then blacking out on the floor. His head hurt and his mouth tasted metallic, a hand coming up to messily wipe some blood leaking out of his mouth as he tried to sit up and figure out what was going on around him.

“Shit, my head—!” Charlie glanced around with half-opened eyes, shaking his head and looking around frantically for his friend only to realize he was alone in the hallway. “What… oh god, Ranboo? Ranboo?!”

Forcing his nauseous body to his knees, he felt his stomach roil and force a line of bile up his throat from the movement, trying hard to swallow it back only for the metallic taste in his mouth to grow stronger.

“What the fuck is—?” He asked, cutting himself off to spit out a thick wad of blood that was building up in his mouth, the contents landing in an oddly gloopy pile on the wood between his knees. He spat again, the blood a little thinner but still strange as he recoiled from it and toppled over backwards. “Shit, what the fuck…?”

Finally looking up and getting his vision to focus, Charlie wished he could fall back unconscious as he realized he wasn’t technically alone—but the only company he now had was his friend’s unmoving body.

An extreme amount of blood had soaked into the wood flooring beneath Ranboo’s still form, his throat torn open and windpipe crushed, his neck missing a large chunk of jagged flesh from the middle that had already stopped oozing. His mouth and eyes were wide open, the once lively gray now faded, glassy, and frozen in a kind of terror that made Charlie sick to his stomach all over again. The muscles on his upper arms had been torn clean off, white bone sticky with what was left of the crimson tendons and blood missing from his limp arms—one of his elbows bent all the way up the wrong way. His legs weren’t nearly as torn as his arms, but they were ripped by what looked like teeth marks from the knees all the way down to his shoes, pants shredded by the unnatural strength of whatever had attacked and left his mangled body in the middle of the hallway.

“What did… what?” Charlie scrambled back up to his hands and knees to crawl up to Ranboo’s body, afraid to touch him as he realized his hands were already slick with the same blood that formed dried drips on the front of his shirt—and was very likely Ranboo’s. “Oh god, no… no no no, this some twisted fucking joke, there’s no way I would’ve… oh fuck…” Metallic twinged bile threatened to rise up his throat again, Charlie only managing to turn his head at the last minute before the vomit could soil Ranboo’s already desecrated corpse. “Blood… everywhere and… no… no, please…”

Sitting innocently next to the body was a scrap of paper that managed to avoid the worst of the spilled bodily fluids, Charlie reaching for it with shaking hands as he recognized Ranboo’s scrawled handwriting.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — It’s okay, Charlie. I know this wasn’t you. Only the school and that black mist are to blame. If you ever come back to your senses and read this… I’m sorry I couldn’t stop you. I hope you make it out. - Ran — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The rest of the note trailed off into a thick coating of blood, Charlie’s eyes going unfocused with hot tears that gathered in the corners and threatened to stream down his already messy face. “There’s no way I… I did this…?” Charlie asked aloud, his strangely half-full stomach feeling infinitely heavier as he frantically tried to spit or even throw up more of the flesh and blood coating the inside of his throat. “I… oh god…”

Another retch had vomit with chunks of barely digested muscle landing in front of Charlie, his eyes blurry with now freely flowing tears and an odd faded black tint around the edges that creeped in with a cool chill. One hand went up to claw at his throat as the other braced him against the floor, overwhelmed with a self-loathing so strong it was only rivaled by the innate disgust that stung in his mouth like his stomach acid, him clinging desperately onto the awful feelings as they started to slowly slip away from his conscious grasp into the dark void that gave him a sense of deja-vu to when he’d finished reading the last of the bloody notes. 

Charlie was tired and anguished and suddenly overwhelmingly… hungry. He just couldn’t fight it anymore. The hunger ate away at his feelings greedily, him collapsing to the floor as the dark haze re-took over his vision—leaving him in an empty heap of despair lying on the bloodsoaked wood next to Ranboo’s unmoving body.

[faofinn]

DAY 19: "you deserve this"

Harrison’s phantom pain had been absolute murder all day. He didn’t know why, but nothing was working to fix it, every step on that leg was agony, like a hot knife twisting in flesh that wasn’t there. He struggled through work, even the complex cases that usually took his mind off it not working anymore. He finally finished, managing to get away on time for once. 

He must have sat in his car for close to half an hour, his head resting on the steering wheel, before he felt able to drive. His painkillers had done nothing, not even scratched the surface. It was exhausting. He managed to make it home, just about, glad the drive was short. 

He just had to hope the kids were settled, because he really didn’t have the energy to deal with them tonight. He was greeted by the dog as he got in, which managed to make him smile, at least. He fussed him a little, but his heart wasn’t really in it, and he headed down the hall to dump his keys and bag. Tai emerged from the kitchen, having heard the door go but not Hars call out. A hand on his shoulder, he pressed a kiss to his cheek. His boyfriend looked like shit, pale and standing uncomfortably, like he couldn’t take weight through his prosthetic. 

“You alright?” He asked gently.  

Harrison sighed, forcing a smile. "Just phantoms."

“Been a bad day?”

"That obvious?"

“I know you too well. Food is nearly ready, did you want to get your leg off and go and lie down if it’ll help? I can bring dinner up to you.”

"What about everything else?"

“Don’t worry about it.” 

"You can't just do it all."

“I’ve not been at work all day, I can handle it. Go on, go and get some compression on it.”

"Alright. Thank you." He didn't have the strength to fight it. 

Tai kissed him again quickly. “Love you.”

"Love you too." He murmured. He took his time heading upstairs, the climb absolute murder.

Tai watched him go up the stairs, then headed back into the kitchen to finish cooking. He explained to the boys that their dad wasn’t feeling well, and that he wanted some quiet and some time to himself. They seemed sad, but Kieran nodded, looking wise beyond his years, and said they’d try and be quiet. 

When dinner was ready, Tai took a plate up to Harrison, knocking softly on the door before he pushed it open. 

Harrison had settled in bed, wrapped up in the duvet and trying to make himself feel better. It hadn’t worked yet, and his pain meds still hadn’t kicked in. 

“I’ve got dinner for you.” Tai said gently. 

"Oh. Thanks."

“The boys wanted to say hi but I said you needed a bit of quiet.” Tai sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out for Harrison. 

"They deserve better than me."

“Don’t be daft.”

"I'm not."

“You’re an amazing dad to them.” 

"I can't be a dad.'

“Why not?”

"Look at me." He murmured, choosing Tai over the food.

“Stunningly handsome doctor who spends all day helping others even when he’s in pain? Disgusting, how horrible.”

"Yeah, leave me for him."

“Except he’s right here in my bed.”

"Where is he?" 

“He’s you, idiot.”

He kissed Tai’s cheek. "Idiot is more like it."

“I can forgive the idiot, you are dating me after all.”

Harrison hummed. "I'm glad you'd forgive me."

“Of course I would. Are you gonna eat?”

"You?" He managed to tease. "I'll do that."

“Food first.” Tai said. “Then if you’re feeling better later I’m not going to stop you.”

He laughed. "I'd never say no."

“Have something to eat, then?”

"Have you had something?" He asked, taking a mouthful. 

“I need to, mine’s waiting downstairs.” Tai admitted. 

"Oh, go get yours."

“Figured you still might want some peace and quiet after a busy ED. The boys are behaving, though.”

"They can come up if you need five minutes?"

“No, it’s okay. Why don’t I leave you to it an’ I’ll come see you in a bit?”

"Don't be forever? I've missed you."

“I won’t be forever. I’ll eat and then try and get the boys to bed.”

"Thank you."

“Love you.” Tai said gently, kissing his cheek before he headed out of the room. He ate, tidied the kitchen, and spent a little bit of time with the boys before it was time to start getting them ready for bed. It was a little like herding cats, and harder without Harrison, but he was used to it by now, given Harrison’s frequent night shifts. All of them trooped in to say goodnight to their dad, and Taidgh managed to get teeth brushed and everyone in bed in reasonable time. He’d even managed to make sure everyone got the right meds, including himself. That was an achievement in of itself. 

He finally could join Harrison then, settling on the bed next to him with a happy sigh. 

“How’s the pain now? Still just as bad?”

"Better now you're back."

He smiled. “How was dinner?”

"Amazing. Way better than I'd have made."

“Glad you liked it.” Tai murmured. “Can I see if I can help?”

"I'd say chop it off but that's already happened."

“I’m no surgeon.” He said. “But I can try?”

"Chop more of it off, go for it."

“Try and make it better.”

"I'll stop being an arse. If you want to, you can."

Tai hummed, pulling the covers back. “Just shout if you want me to stop.”

Harrison snickered. "Sure."

“You know what I mean.”

"I will."

“Relax back, close your eyes?” 

He did as he was told, for all of thirty seconds. He propped himself up on his elbows and narrowed his eyes. "What are you gonna do?"

Tai laughed. “I was gonna try some massage, see if it would help the phantom.”

"Alright." He slowly lay back down. "Just be gentle."

Tai kissed his knee. “Promise.”

"Mm, okay."

Gently, Tai worked over Harrison’s stump, hoping the sensation of his hands would help the phantom pain. He knew things would be sore after a long day at work too, muscles tight and tender. 

"God, where have you been all my life?"

He laughed. “Ireland, for most of it.”

Harrison found himself joining in on the laughter, the tension draining from him. It just added to the affection Harrison felt for Tai, and he made a happy noise. 

“Helping? Reminding your brain that leg isn’t there anymore?”

"Reminding something that needs to be listening." He mumbled. "Haven't got a brain."

“Careful, talk like that would get you kicked out of clinic.” He teased. “But it feels good, right?”

"Makes me wish I had the rest of my leg." He said, almost starting to drift.

“I’m not that good.” Tai admitted. “But I’m glad I’m helping. You deserve this, you deserve to be out of pain.”

"This is that good." He murmured. "Thank you. Honestly, thank you."

“You know I’d do anything for you.”

"I would for you, too."

“Cute.”

"Don't be patronising!"

“I was teasing!”

"Sounds the same." He laughed.

Tai paused after a moment, his hands stilling. “I’m sorry you’ve had a tough day, though.”

"You've made it better."

“Good. You deserve it.”

"Love you."

“Love you too.”

[alrissamariam]

"I don't feel so good."

I think I’m getting bad again, maybe worse this time. And I’m not sure anyone can help me even if they wanted to.

I have lived and I have learned, I have lost and I have loved.

My mind has gone blank for I have been feeling everything and nothing at the same time. My heart is heavy with self-doubt and discouragement. My shoulders sag with undetermined decisions and heavy burdens. My feet are heavy with balls of steel chained around my ankles.

I don’t feel so good.

The nightmares have become too daunting that I seek comfort in the night skies by the side of the road. The only way to silence my mind would be a dangerous run outside the safety of home at midnight while the rain pelts my skin and stings my cuts. 

I feel horrible for the people around me, because I have been told that being friends with somebody who is drained drains you. Am I draining you guys too? If so, shall I move away? Or will you help to extend your hand that you know I’ll struggle for eternity trying to reach?

My appetite has gone from my body and my skin has dropped a shade on my face, the bags under my eyes are sandbags that continue to descend, my throat is closed up most of the time and my body is not here.

I feel disgusted with myself when I stare at the food I could barely finish, because all I wanted to do was push it off the table and watch the plate shatter on the floor so I could cut my crevices bigger to allow my hands in so I could fix myself.

There’s ringing in my ear, my heart is clashing against my ribcage, my eyes are drooping with fatigue, my skin is cold, my movements are sluggish. Every breath I try to suck in is choked, like there happens to be a ball of self-sabotage lodged into my throat.

I remember unlocking the door so slowly as I tried to keep myself upright and the moment I stepped into the quiet and dark house, I shut the door and my bag fell from my shoulder. My head was spinning, my breaths shallow and the water was up to my throat. 

One step forward to try to at least get to the bean bag, and before I knew it, my head had fallen before my body as it crumbled to the marble floor with a thud–yet there was silence. 

Nobody had heard anything and nobody had come down. 

I couldn’t utter a single sound.

I couldn’t reach for my phone.

I wasn’t sure how long I stayed on the floor like that, but the bump on the back of my head was enough to tell me that I probably hit my head hard enough to be knocked out for a bit. The strain in my ribs was a clear indication that my terrifying past would probably come back, and moments of standing in the corner to eavesdrop on what the doctor was saying to my dad came back to me.

How do I ask for help?

I felt like my voice was taken from me, my freedom strangled and my privacy breached. At twenty-one, I feel as dead as I never have. I feel like a walking zombie instead of a fucking human.

I hated blacking out, unsure if by the time I come to, which would hurt first between my head, side or entirety? How do I eat when all I want is to throw it all back up? How does one believe they’re allowed to ask for help when all they’ve been told is that they’re a burden?

Beban. That’s what I am.

A burden to others.

I don’t feel so good.

I feel sick, my stomach churning, heart failing and soul disappearing. I wanted to be allowed room to make my own decisions and mistakes, and still be cared for as one should be. 

I feel clingy, starved of physical touch and affection that I crave so much from a woman who would always put man before her children when her children should always come first.

I feel disgusted, not with anyone but myself for the way I’ve treated myself and the things my mind haunts me with, screaming at me that I should do it sooner rather than later because who the fuck would miss me?

I feel empty–gone are the pieces of myself that I worshipped and took pride in, replaced with self-loathe and mockery. My mouth has been sewn shut and my heart is banging on my chest to be expressed, to be let out and it begged for help.

But my mind knew better. It was a constant battle with my heart about who gets to make the decision. Do we let the heart win and beg for help, or do we let the mind stay in control and keep our mouth shut so we don’t burden others?

I’m not so sure anymore.

But all I know is; I don’t feel so good.