#nothing has really happened in my life though

[siddyyyyyyyy]

Desperation Bruce Wayne x fem!Reader

MDNI wc: 1.8K warnings: smut, softdom!bruce, p in v, light spanking (?), praise, was too lazy to write the aftercare, so just imagine it summary: Bruce gets frustrated at the charity event and eventually takes it out on you once you are home. a/n: divider (@saradika-graphics), i felt myself cringe while writing this, and that usually means that i did well. but still, im sorry if it's too cheesy or unrealistic, i did my best to give you my vision😖

You know that Bruce despises events like these, too many rich people who never had to work a single day in their life, who always try to brag to him about the most unimpressive stuff, or try to have intelligent conversations about economics or social studies. It‘s all the same stuff as well, it‘s always the same ‘intelligent‘ discoveries these people try to tell him about. Fortunately, you only had to hear about Bruce complains and never had to fave these people on your own. Unfortunately, you convinced your husband to tag along with him tonight.

You didn‘t expect for a lot of people to approach the both of you, but it still happened, as Bruce is used to. But when they did, they never really acknowledged you. The very least someone did acknowledge you, was to simply give you a side glance before continuing to ‘subtly‘ brag about about how many cars he has.

Bruce‘s hand stays at its familiar place, around your waist, giving you an occasional squeeze. The squeezes become more frequent as the people around the round table keep talking to him, not giving him a chance to even steal a sip of his drink. You notice his growing frustration, even when he hides it well. The guests around the ball room are chatting amongst themselves, creating a bubble of mixed conversations, together with the subtle scent of alcohol and different perfumes. No doubts, expensive.

Finally, Bruce has a brilliant idea, and excuses the two of you from the table, before standing up and walking to the middle of the dance area.

»All this talk about money and expensive models gets on my nerves… they don‘t even bother talking about the topic of today‘s event.« He murmurs lowly as he smoothly glides you along with him, one hand holding yours, the other propped up against the curve of your waist.

You chuckle softly in return, studying his tired features, »I know... they actually make me feel like an intelligent person for once.«

Bruce expression softens finally, keeping his eyes glued to you.

»You are intelligent… even if it‘s not hard to be smarter than them.« He can‘t help but tease lightly, a faint smile playing on his lips. You pinch his shoulder in return, crinkling his perfect suit slightly.

Your peaceful dance under the classical music from the romantic era gets interrupted as a rather old man approaches the both of you, wearing a rich smile on his face. Bruce‘s expression falls immediately, reluctantly stopping the dance, even though he selfishly wants to keep going and ignore everyone else. But that would be childish, too.

»I sincerely apologise for interrupting your wonderful dance, but I was wondering...«

Your husband restrains himself from letting out the most annoyed sigh ever, keeping himself composed in front of the unfamiliar man. Maybe another economics man, ready to ramble his ears off about nothing other than his spendings on money and begging for Bruce‘s opinion about his decisions.

You watch them interact with a faint smile, knowing very well about your husband‘s annoyance, noticing his jaw clench every now and then. Luckily, the older men steps away, leaving you alone.

»He could‘ve just… nevermind.« Bruce sighs out, not bothering to curse him out, considering you are both still at a public event. He shakes his head lightly and focuses his gaze back on you, expression growing less guarded. »Ready to leave? It‘s getting late.«

You can‘t deny his offer, getting sick of the sticky air inside the ballroom as well. Bruce feels more than reliefed once you step out of the large, barouque building, approaching the car, where Alfred‘s already sitting inside, waiting to drive you both home.

◖

Once inside, Bruce gets rid of his tie and hangs up his suit jacket, before he finally turns his full attention to you. You just got rid of your high heels and can‘t wait to slip into bed to give your feet a break, but once you glance at Bruce, you‘re sure this won‘t be happening anytime soon.

»I don‘t know ‘bout you, but this evening made me really worked up...«

He slurs out quietly while taking some steps closer to you, secretly hoping you feel the same way. He doesn‘t need to hope though, because you‘d be happy to provide him in anything. You nod in response, letting him come closer and almost close the gap between you both.

»Oh, definitely… but I kinda enjoyed seeing you frustrated for once.« You smirk up at him, a mischivous glint in your eyes. It makes him shakes his head lightly in return, although the corners of his lips curl up slightly.

»Cheeky,« he exhales softly before pulling you closer by your hip, gently connecting your lips into a sweet kiss. Your hand props up at his chest, curling around the cool fabric while Bruce deepens the kiss. He makes you tilt your head, his larger hand resting by the nape of your neck.

It takes a lot in him not to finish what he started in the hallway, but he eventually breaks the kiss and takes steadying breaths, his eyes trained on you like a prey.

Your back hits the door as soon as you reach your master bedroom, making you huff out softly. Bruce doesn‘t waste his time to attack your neck with open-mouthed kisses and light bites, working his way down to the column of your throat, and down to your collarbones. A quiet hiss escapes you as you feel his bites become harsher, probably enough to create faint marks the next day. Your hands desperately clinge to his shoulders, one at the back of his neck, keeping him close while keeping you steady on your feet. A soft growl escapes him, seeming impatient. His hands finally stop roaming over you curves, picking you up by the back of your thighs. He sets you up against the next furniture, his moves being rushed and needy. Due to his rushed demeanor, he placed you down on the surface of the dresser messily, making you shift to be more comfortable on it.

»Sorry, I… I didn‘t hurt you, right?« He catches his breath as he takes you in on top of the dresser, noticing your flushed demeanor.

»I‘m all good, just didn‘t expect this,« you answer, pulling him closer by the collar of his shirt. Bruce grows smug at your action, letting himself be pulled close again. His breath fans against you before he nuzzles to your neck. You feel a gentle tap at your thigh, his voice coming out low and commanding.

»C‘mon… spread,«

A light shiver goes through your spine, listening to his words without a single thought in your head. He settles in once your legs allow him to, pushing your evening dress a little more up.

You feel his cool hands trace your body until one of them travels down to your middle, gently rubbing and starting to work you up further. A breathy sigh leaves your lips before Bruce crashes his lips onto yours, swallowing all of your sounds. You weakly grip to his upper arm, supporting yourself as best as you can. His hand quickens its pace against your core through your lacy panties, making your brain melt. Your lips part further as your mind goes slack, allowing him to deepen the kiss and rub slow circles against your tongue with his.

A quiet whine leaves you as he suddenly stops, breaking the kiss too.

»Sorry, darl‘… patience.« He mumbles softly as he starts to undo his belt, keeping his hazy eyes trained on your face. You grow hotter under his eyes, trying to rub your thighs together again, but it‘s impossible with him between your legs. A faint smirk tugs at his lips, dragging his teeth against his bottom lip once his pants finally fall down.

Your eyes fall to his boxers, noticing the light patch on the front. Without further hesitation, Bruce‘s boxer briefs get pulled down, mixed with a quiet groan from his side.

He leans in again, his hot skin pressing against yours, feeling like you‘ll melt any second. You feel the way his lips trace along the side of your neck while he gently teases you, feeling his tip nudge against the outside of your panties. Your hand shoots out to hold onto him again, settling against his shirt as you grip tightly on him.

Having had finally enough of it, he pushes your panties to the side and dives in, being as gentle as he can, even in his desperate state. You tense up at the sensation, not used to his size, due to the busy lives of you both.

»Shh… it‘s okay. I‘ve got you,« Bruce gently shushes you and wrap his arms around your torso, keeping you close against him as he continues to gently drive in further.

You slowly relax again and regain your breath, keeping a tigh grip against his shirt. Once he bottoms out, you can‘t help but tremble slightly, being overwhelmed with the hotness and full feeling he provides. You nod against his shoulder, giving him the final sign for him to start out properly.

His rhythm starts out slow and sensual, but it quickly evolves into a quicker and rougher pace. He drives more urgently into you, trying to be gentle at the same time. The strokes are deep, knocking the breath out of your lungs. He adjusts his grip on you, changing the angle lightly as he continues to shove his hips against yours, not giving you a break.

The room fills with soft flaps from skin slapping against skin, your breathy moans mix with his deep groans, making the scene more erotic than it already is. The sensations finally start to kick in, making your breath hitch. He notices the slight shift in you, knowing it won‘t take long for you to come undone before him.

He leans back a bit to watch your face, his hands keeping a firm grip on your hips as he pushes himself into you even harder than before. Your eyes roll back, moans growing higher in pitch. He relieshes in the way you melt because of him, the way you look like you are losing your mind, all because of him.

He groans and a possesive feeling overcomes him, making his hips snap rougher against yours. Sure enough, your climax comes in after a few final thrusts, his jaw going slack as he feels how tightly you squeeze him.

His pace doesn‘t die down, if anything, he‘s trying to speed up a little further. It‘s not until he feels himself grow closer to the edge until he pulls out and continues to drive himself to pleasure with his fist. You hear him moan out softly and nestle his head against your shoulder once he finishes, white spurts of his cum painting your panties white. You run your hand along his back in a soothing motion, helping him calm down too. He comes down faster than you, meeting his eyes again after catching his breath.

»Let‘s clean ya‘ up… did so well for me.« He mutters as he rubs your upper thighs, eventually picking you back up into his arms and walking to the attached bathroom.

←MASTERLIST

[fawnhart]

sugar and rafes first time meeting ! ㅤ⭑๋ ࣭

You remember the moment your whole life started to crumble. It was a Tuesday, you think. Maybe a Wednesday? Doesn’t really matter. The days just blur together when you’re stuck in a house where you’re not allowed to live

You were listening to Jeff Buckley. You had it on repeat for weeks now, hiding it under a loose plank in the floorboards of your room. Your parents would never allow it. Not in a million years. Especially your mom. She’d explode if she ever found out. Everything was so god damn evil to her

But that day you thought you had time. She was supposed to be gone for at least another hour. It was Wednesday. Church group meetings. It was always a Wednesday.

You slipped the CD into your player old and busted up, the kind with the cassette tape thing but with a CD attachment, so it wasn’t completely outdated. You sat on your bed, staring out at the little slice of sky visible through your window, not really thinking about anything in particular just thinking. Then you heard the door downstairs.

“What the hell is that noise?”

You froze. Your heart dropped into your stomach. You thought your mom wouldn’t be home yet. You’d been so sure. You asked Mrs. Maggie to 1000% sure. But she was early. You scrambled to hit stop, but the music kept playing. Her voice, firm and pissed, was coming closer.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Your pulse raced. You shoved the player under your pillow just as she stormed into the room, her eyes narrowing. She was already clutching that look the one that meant something bad was about to happen.

“What did I tell you about this?” Her voice was tight and screechy.

“I wasn’t doing nothin’” you said, your voice shaky. You didn’t even believe yourself. You knew exactly why she was upset. But you had to try. You had to try to be normal for once, even if it was just for a few minutes in your own room.

“Nothing?” Her lip curled, disgust in every word. “Baby, you think you can just fill ya’ head with that filth and call it ‘nothin’?’”

You bit your lip, holding back tears. She stepped forward, pointing at the CD player under your pillow.

“This is demonic! I knew it. You’ve been listening to the devil behind my back. It’s not enough that you’re dressing like... like one of those whores at school. But now you want to be dirty on the inside, too?”

Your throat felt tight, like you couldn’t breathe. Your mind was racing. What were you supposed to say?

“You’re going to ruin everything I’ve worked for. Everything your father and I have taught you,” she hissed, her eyes wild with something you didn’t recognize. It wasn’t love, not even close.

“it’s just music,” you whispered, too quietly, but she heard you.

She grabbed the player from your bed and yanked the CD out.

“It’s. not. just. music,” she said, her voice cracking. “It’s a gateway. It’s corruption to the brain.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell her that all you wanted was to be normal, to have what everyone else had. a life outside of this house, outside of her rules. But the words never came.

She was moving now, pulling open drawers, emptying them onto the floor.

“all that filth you’ve been hiding from me and I’ve been lenient on is done for. I’m taking it all.”

She tossed your music cds, your makeup, your books. Everything you’d spent months gathering, everything you’d used to try to feel like you were an ordinary girl, was being thrown away.

And then, the worst part.

“Your father won’t stand for this. We’ll have you cleansed”

You faltered. Cleansed? It was such a cold, clinical word. But you knew what it meant. The prayers. The rituals. You couldn’t let that happen. You couldn’t live through that.

Your eyes were filling with tears, your chest tightening.

“I’m sorry!, I didn’t mean to. I won’t listen to that again, okay? I swear,” you pleaded, though you knew it didn’t matter.

But it was too late, she was already at the door

“You know honey, my church group has been just how ungodly you’ve been acting, but I didn’t believe them….. I hate that you proved them right”

locking it behind her with that final click that meant you were trapped.

You pressed your back against the door, the tears finally spilling over. You couldn’t think straight. Your whole body was shaking, your mind was screaming. I need to get out of here.

You knew what you had to do.

You waited for what felt like hours, listening to the muffled sounds of your mom in the kitchen. The smell of dinner wafted under the door, and all you could think about was how your entire life had been planned for you. You were supposed to be a good girl. A good Christian girl. But you weren’t. And you were never going to be.

Finally, when you thought your heart couldn’t take any more, you got up. You grabbed the little bag you’d hidden in the closet. Nothing but a few clothes, and the money you’d saved up from waitressing at ‘sticky’s’. Quietly, carefully, you pulled out the plank in the floor, grabbed the rest of your hidden things, and shoved them into your bag. You didn’t think twice.

You climbed out the window, holding your breath, praying that she wouldn’t hear you.

Once you were outside, you took off running.

You didn’t know where you were going, but it didn’t matter. You had to get out.

You ran for what felt like forever. The night was cold, but you didn’t care. It was better than being to the place you once called home.

You didn’t notice him at first.

You glanced around realizing you were for sure not on the cut anymore, the big tall houses made it clear to you were on figure eight now.

then you saw him

Rafe Cameron.

You’d seen him around, of course. He was one of the rich kids, always walking around with that stupid confident smile, like he owned the whole island. You’d never paid him any attention. You had enough of your own problems to deal with. But when you saw him standing at the end of the street, leaning against his car smoking god knows what, you froze.

You’ve heard the stories about Rafe Cameron. He’s the kind of guy everyone talks about but no one truly understands.

He’s always been a mystery, and he still is. But there’s something about him, something that draws you in, even though you know you probably shouldn’t get too close.

You never really expected to see him again, not after the way he disappeared seven years ago.

Rafe left figure eight right after that night, the night he ended up in jail. No one knows exactly what happened, but everyone has their theories.

Some say it was a huge mistake, some say it was just a matter of time, others say ward himself drove his only son out of town. But whatever it was, it was enough to make him walk away from everything. His family, his life there, his whole world.

He packed up and drove five hours away, living on his own, far from the memories and the mess the pouges he hated had caused.

In the time since, he’s built himself up. People talk about how he’s thriving now, working as a firefighter or something like that. Hard work, steady pay, and no one really bothers him anymore.

It’s like he’s trying to rebuild his life, piece by piece. But even though he’s been gone for so long, when he talks about his baby sister wheezie, there’s this soft, almost protective vibe about him

Now, he’s back in town, just for her birthday. It’s strange seeing him like this, but there’s something different about him. He’s older, quieter, and maybe even a little lost in his own way.

He was looking straight at you, his brow furrowed, like he knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” he called out, his voice muffled by his blunt but clear in the quiet night air.

You stopped in your tracks.

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking a step toward you.

You didn’t know what to say. Of course you weren’t alright!. You were running away from your own life, from your own mother. But you didn’t know how to tell him that.

“I... I’m fine,” you said, but even to your own ears, it sounded like a lie.

He took another step forward, still studying you with those eyes that seemed too kind for someone like him.

“I’m serious,” he said, his voice softer now. “You look rough.”

Your breath hitched. ‘Gee thanks’ Yeah, you looked rough. You had been rough for years. But hearing it from someone else...it hit different.

“Do you need a ride?” he asked.

You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know him. But you also didn’t know anyone who would help you, not like this. So you warily followed him

You stared at him, confused, trying to figure out if he was serious or playing some sick joke on you.

Then it hit you. He was talking to you like you weren’t just the religious girl with the crazy parents. He wasn’t weirded. He wasn’t judging you.

The last time someone came up to you, the whole town heard about it. Your parents tried getting them expelled from school for harassing you.

That was the last time anyone ever talked to you

“I know you know Wheezie,” he said, a little chuckle in his voice as he opened the door. “you can’t be all bad, right?”

Wheezie? then it clicked, the girl with glasses who could down 6 cherry milkshakes in a row, nice.

“Come on,” he said, the smile slipping from his face for a second, a real one this time. “Let me help you.”

You didn’t know if you were ready for help, but you were so damn tired. Tired of pretending everything was okay. Tired of running. Tired of fighting your own heart every damn day.

You took a deep breath and took up his offer.

He didn’t even look like the guy everyone made him out to be. Sure, he still had that wild, unpredictable look to him, but he wasn’t hostile. He just… asked if you needed help. Simple as that.

You didn’t know what else to say. You didn’t know where else to go.

He didn’t press you with questions. He just turned on the engine, his eyes flicking over you like he was checking to see if you were really serious about getting in.

"You're Wheezie's friend, right?" he asked as you climbed in.

You nodded, glancing at him, trying to gauge whether or not you were making a huge mistake. "Yeah... kind of, she’s always at the diner" you added, almost too quietly. You didn't want to give him the wrong impression, what 18 year old is freinds with a 13 year old?

He smiled just a little, but it was different from the smirks you’d seen on his face at school or around town. “That sounds like her” It wasn’t mean. It was soft

You can’t help but wonder what really happened in those seven years, what it was that changed him, but for now, you’re stuck here in the passenger seat of his truck, staring at his side profile as he drives.

Something about being around him feels oddly comforting, even though you know there’s so much you’ll never understand.

The ride was awkward, the kind of silence that felt thick enough to choke on. Rafe had the radio low, some song you didn’t recognize playing in the background.

You focused on the streetlights flashing by, the pavement blurring, but all you could think about was the tight knot of anxiety in your chest. You didn't belong in this car, in this moment. You should have been running in the other direction, but... for some reason, you weren’t scared. Not yet.

You had no idea where the hell you were going. That’s when he asked.

“So, do you have anywhere to go?”

You looked at your lap, clutching the bag tighter. You couldn’t tell him the truth, not completely. Not yet. "yeah" you said, your voice barely above a raspy whisper.

He didn’t say anything at first. But then you heard him exhale, like he was thinking it over. “Look, I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been through but….but you’re safe now,” he said, and his voice was surprisingly gentle, like he’d somehow sensed how scared you really were. “Ok?”

“Ok” You swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. He wasn’t wrong. You were scared, terrified even, but for the first time in forever, someone wasn’t judging you for it.

No one in your family ever told you you were safe, ever told you that everything would be okay. You sniffled, the tears threatening to spill over.

You didn't want to break down in front of him.

The car slowed to a stop, and you realized you were at a diner, the neon lights buzzing softly. Rafe looked over at you, almost like he was waiting for you to protest or make some excuse. You didn’t. You just followed him out of the car, not saying a word.

Inside, the place smelled like burgers, fries, and cigarettes. The warmth was a stark contrast to the cold night outside, and it made you feel a little safer, like you were stepping into something straight out of a movie. Rafe led you to a booth and slid into the seat across from you. For a second, you both just stared at the menu, neither of you speaking. You didn’t know if you were supposed to order, or if he would. But then he broke the silence.

"What do you want?" He didn’t sound like he was expecting an answer right away. Like he was just making sure you were okay.

You looked at the menu, but your mind was elsewhere. You didn’t care what you ate. You just... didn’t want him to feel like he had to do this.

Like he had to take care of you.

“Just fries and a water,” you said, you didn't even know why you said it. It wasn’t like you had much of an appetite.

He raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t comment on it. He called the waitress over and ordered for both of you. A burger, fries, and a milkshake. When she left, he turned to you, his gaze softer than you thought he’d ever let it be.

"How are you holding up?" His voice was quieter now, the edge gone. He wasn’t the Rafe Cameron you’d heard about, the one everyone warned you to stay away from. He seemed... almost normal, it was freaking you out.

You shrugged, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "I don't know," you muttered. "Just tired, I guess."

He nodded, leaning back in his seat, but you caught him glancing at you every few seconds like he was still trying to figure you out.

“What are you running from” he said bluntly, his stare showing no signs playfulness, just a full serious look

you looked away, your tears sticking with your mascara and glitter eyeshadow “Home”

“Been there” he nodded taking in your appearance in, how could such a pretty girl like you be so alone and lost?

The food came quickly, and Rafe pushed the plate with the burger and fries toward you. "Eat," he said simply. “I’m not going to let you go hungry.”

You picked at the fries, not feeling hungry but not wanting to make him feel like you didn’t appreciate it. The milkshake was so cold and thick, and when you took a sip, you felt a small sense of comfort settle in. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

As you ate, Rafe kept glancing at you, almost like he was waiting for you to crack. When you sniffled again, wiping your nose with the back of your sleeve, he frowned. "I already told you, you don’t have to be scared," he said, his voice dropping a little. “You’re safe here. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

It was a strange thing for him to say, considering who he was. But in that moment, you believed him. You really did.

When you finished the milkshake and most of the burger, you felt a little more alive again, but the weight of everything of your family, of the lies, of everything that had pushed you to this point, was still there.

And you still had nowhere to go.

you just had a sparkly sack and a dream.

Rafe didn’t say much after that, just leaned back in his seat, and let you gather your thoughts. But when the waitress came by to take your plates, you stood up, and swung the creaky glass door open feeling that familiar unease creep back in.

"I’ll just go to the docks, the ferry leaves at 6am," you said, Turing around to see rafe as he followed right behind. You were going to take the ferry to the mainland, with the little money you had left. You weren’t sure where you were going from there, but it was something.

Rafe’s expression turned serious, almost annoyed. “No,” he said flatly.

“what?”

“I’m not letting you go to the docks. It’s dangerous, and I doubt you even have enough money to get anywh-.”

“You can’t fix everything!” you snapped, feeling all the frustration you’d been holding back suddenly spill out. "You can’t. fix. everything"

Rafe’s jaw tightened. “Maybe I can’t fix everything,” he said, his voice firm. “But I can try to make sure you’re okay. I can’t just let you go off like that.”

You glared at him. “You don’t even know me. Why do you care?”

For a moment, he didn’t answer. He just looked at you like he was weighing something in his mind. Then he exhaled, running a hand through his buzzed head. “I know enough.”

You stared at him, unsure what to say. Your whole world was falling apart, and yet, here was this guy, this person you should’ve never trusted, according to everyone you knew

but then again why does it matter what everyone says? if you’re going by that logic then you would be at the bottom of the barrel.

“You want to runaway right?” he said, voice steady. “I have a place, it’s 5 hours away, that far enough for you?”

“Do you even know how old I am!? Hello, I could turn you in right now for being a weirdo” you asked with sass, anything to get him off of your case

“ ‘sticky’s’ won’t hire under 18.” He said nonchalantly rolling his eyes, “unless you lied or where getting paid under the table? Then I could turn you and your employer in”

You didn’t know if it was the exhaustion in his voice, but something in you cracked. “i didn’t lie, I’m 18” you said your voice trembling slightly. “I’ll go with you. But no funny business, I will jump out of the freaking car” you said crossing your arms

“Whatever you say, sugar”

Was this a good idea? Probably not. You’re parents would ironically raise hell over this town once they found out their precious daughter had run off with Rafe fucking Cameron

© 𝐅𝐀𝐖𝐍𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓

[hirayalore]

you and sirius never discussed it out loud, but you both knew that you didn’t want to have kids after everything that happened in the last 13 years.

it wasn’t always like that, though (contrary to popular belief). he could faintly remember back then when both of you were still studying in hogwarts that you’d open the prospect of having children with him and having a family someday—and sirius, although scared to death at the thought of ever raising kids his own when he didn’t even grow up with good parents himself, was amicable with the idea if it meant that he’d see little versions of you running around in your future home.

but then he was imprisoned for 12 years, and that was 12 years of not spending every single day with you, of not waking up in bed beside you, of not being able to share meals, of not being able to do the most normal things that young couples did in their twenties… of not being able to propose, of getting married, of having a family together…

so, when he came back and got his name cleared by the ministry, all he wanted was to make up for that lost time. you and him were already 37 years old after all, and although it wasn’t relatively old, he still felt like both of your years ahead would never be enough to compensate for what has been taken—making the prospect of having kids and having to think of someone else other than yourselves unappealing.

until one night, he decided to make a bold step in knowing whether you two were truly on the same page like he was assuming. you never told him about your opinion regarding it, but in the way you were with him after his return, he could feel it in his bones that you didn’t want to focus on anything else other than your rekindled relationship with each other.

but he just had to make sure.

“darling,” he murmured, as you two were trying to fall asleep, his arms around you while your nose was nuzzling his throat, “do you… still ever think about having children?”

you raised your head up almost immediately, meeting his gaze. “what’s with the question?”

“nothing. it’s just that—it’s something we used to talk about. ages ago, really.”

“yeah, it was.” your eyebrows furrowed slightly, as if you were trying to recall the times you did talk about it. “we used to plan that we’d buy a flat in london and live in a muggle city, just to piss your parents off further.”

he chuckled. “we did.”

“and we’d have two kids. one girl and one boy.” you smiled, faintly remembering now.

sirius nodded. “they’d both should have my eyes—”

“and then have the rest of my features, with the nose being a requirement.” you finished for him, saying the exact line he used to tell you back then. 

the two of you laughed at the memory, fascinated at how the teenage mind works when you’re in love. at that age, you always felt invincible, like nothing could ruin the plans that you and your lover have made for yourselves. you would always believe that everything would go smoothly and that happily-ever-after was right next door, never ever thinking that adulthood could potentially drive you crazy or in this case, a dark wizard was going to try to seize control over your people.

when the laughter died down, you gazed deeply at each other, understanding that just as the times have changed—so have the circumstances and ultimately, your decision.

you ran your fingers on the side of his head, combing parts of his hair, admiring the manner in which his face showed nothing but quiet contentment.

“maybe in another life,” you began, voice coming out as a whisper, “we’d have those things. we’d have kids, and have a big home, but right now…” you leaned closer and pressed your forehead against his, savoring the proximity you once longed for in thousands of nights. “i’m happy with just the two of us. with you, sweetheart.”

sirius smiled and nodded, a hand gently rubbing along the expanse of your back, tugging you closer. “me too, love.” he sighed. “me too.”

with no other words needed to be spoken, you pressed a brief yet firm kiss on his lips before sinking back in your previous position, embracing him and nestling in his arms, knowing that even an eternity of making up for what fate had stolen would never feel enough.

gentle reminder: this author loves feedback! let her know your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this fic and you’ll add 100+ points in her writing motivation meter ♡

[its-luna-noel]

your obstinate charge | astarion ancunin

Astarion has never been allowed to say 'no' before. When he does, he realizes who he wants to say 'yes' to. You realize that he could kill you here, right now, in any number of ways. He could slit your throat, drive a dagger beneath your ribs & pierce your heart, bleed you dry until you're nothing but a memory upon this land. You realize this, and yet your body relaxes in his hands. You trust him completely.

warnings: 18+, MDNI, afab reader but any pronouns, durge reader, act 2 spoilers, previous abuse, smut, oral (f! & m! receiving), blood drinking

word count: 5.3k

masterlist | link to ao3

notes: hello! i wrote this last year and posted on ao3, and i wasn't going to cross post since my blog is mostly jjk, but i reread it and was really proud of it, so here it is on tumblr! ty for reading & hope you enjoy!

Everyone at camp can see that Astarion is in a foul mood.

You arrived back at Last Light after your first journey to Moonrise Towers, finally having arrived at your end goal to destroy these tadpoles, and before you could all share your discoveries with the rest of the party, Astarion strode off towards the waterline, ducking into darkness before you could grab him.

You stare after him for a moment and shake your head. Then you turn towards the fire, folding your legs under you as you ready yourself for dinner.

Gale passes you a wooden bowl of the same stew you'd been eating since arriving in the Shadow-Cursed Lands. "How did it go?" he asks.

You shake your head again, shoving food in your mouth, and lift your shoulder in a shrug. "We found Ketheric," you explain, offering the memory of your meeting to Gale through your tadpoles. He grimaces as you share the images of Ketheric pulling the axe from his chest. You withdraw your mind from his and continue to eat. "We've convinced them that we're True Souls, for now. We'll see where it takes us."

Gale begins to speak over his own meal, airing his many ideas to the party as the others gathered around the fire. But your thoughts drift, and you aren’t even lucid enough to feel guilty for ignoring him; all you can think of was how you know Ketheric was somehow involved in your previous life, that life you can't remember. Determination begins to burn deep in your chest; you must find out what this all means.

Before you can try to sort out your disordered thoughts, Karlach plops down beside you, the heat of her warming you on all sides as she digs into her stew.

"Hey," she says through a mouth full of food, "what's wrong with Fangs?"

You shrug, pulling apart your warm roll of bread. "How am I supposed to know?"

"'Cause you're all cozy with him, or whatever." She looks at you, her bright eyes keen and knowing. "Whatever happened today, you know what must be bothering him. Maybe you should go check on him."

You almost laugh. "He doesn't want to see me," you tell her.

She gives you a stern look before returning to her meal. "Just think about it, soldier," is all she says.

You all finish your meal and talk about your plan for the next day before retiring to your own tents for the night. You change out of your armor and clean it, rubbing off stubborn stains of goblin blood. You try to lose yourself to sleep, but it does not take you, with your many worries for the next day. And, even though you don't want to, you can't help but think about what Karlach said.

"Maybe you should go check on him."

So, unable to sleep, and unable to think of anything else to do, you leave your tent and make your way towards Astarion's.

You walk over, the chill of the night making you shiver. You almost hope to find the tent closed up for the night, to find him already trancing for the night, but the entrance is still tied open. You peek inside, expecting to find your companion reclined and reading a book by candle light; you try to prepare yourself for whatever sly flirtation he has for you.

Instead, you find the tent empty.

You frown; you know that Astarion hasn't been able to find suitable prey since you'd arrived in the cursed lands, so you can't imagine that he's out prowling. You stand there for a moment, at a loss and trying to decide whether or not to just go to bed. But you sigh, as whatever blackened heart inside you pushes you forward.

You, thanking your lucky stars that he wasn't trying to hide when he skulked away, follow Astarion's tracks down towards the river.

—

You find him propped up on his elbows across the river, staring out across the water. You don't bother to try and hide your footsteps; you simply cross the river, taking care not to lose your footing on the loose stones along the way.

"Come to collect your obstinate charge?" Astarion sneers without looking at you as you approach.

You sit beside him, tucking your knees against your chest. You try to keep your dirty shoes off his cloak that he spread out on the ground beneath him.

Those words are familiar enough; that dreadful Drow called him that to your face when she asked for him to bite her. "She really got to you, huh?" you ask, resting your cheek on one knee as you turn to look at him.

He's still in his armor from the day, and he'd found a bottle of wine somewhere in the crates surrounding Last Light on his journey over. It's something cheap, something you're sure he finds repulsive, even as he drinks. He stares across the river towards the inn, and he's silent for so long you resign yourself to the fact that he's ignoring you. Then, as you're deciding if you should just leave him to his thoughts, he shakes his head and says, "I can't get it out of my head. The way she leered at me."

You watch him, waiting for him to speak. He swirls the bottle of wine and takes a drink, then grimaces at the taste and lets the bottle hang loosely from his fingers. He doesn't look at you as he thinks.

Eventually, he sighs, the sound light and airy. "I was being too precious, wasn't I?" You can tell he's trying to convince himself, to talk himself back into some dark line of thinking he'd grown accustomed since being turned. "We could have used her potion. A moment of unpleasantry doesn't matter if there's a fine reward. I should have just gritted my teeth as always and let her have me for a bit."

You feel your heart sink at his words. "Astarion," you whisper, unsure of what to say next.

He barks out a laugh, a short, derisive sound. "Oh, darling, I don't need your pity." He throws the bottle of wine towards the water, and the glass shatters against the river bank. Wine starts to spill into the river, spreading like blood.

You shake your head, confused by how quickly his mood shifts. You struggle to keep up. "Astarion, I don't pity you," you tell him. You turn to face him properly, to take this conversation seriously. He still doesn't look at you. "But you have the right to say 'no.' You don't belong to anyone anymore."

At those words, he shifts his gaze from the waterline to finally examine you. His eyes are narrow, the expression behind them inscrutable. "You really believe that, don't you?" He laughs again, but he's not amused. His voice is bitter as he continues, "Yes, well, I must admit, a part of me feels sick when I think about getting on my back for breadcrumbs again." He tilts his head, suddenly curious. "But you, you could have convinced me to take the deal. To just push through and get the potion, and we would've all just moved along with our lives. Why didn't you?"

"Didn't you hear me?" Your voice is slightly incredulous. "You said 'no,' and that's your right. I'm not here to force you to do anything." You, now, laugh without mirth. You know enough about not having a say in what you do, with your strange visitors haunting your every move.

Astarion is still watching you. He has to admit to himself, he doesn't understand you one bit. No one in this life or his last ever showed him any ounce of kindness; even the gods couldn't be bothered to look his way. But here you are, some insignificant wanderer with gore for brains and a strong propensity towards gruesome violence, sitting beside him and telling him he had a choice. "But you could've," he pushes, and he suddenly reaches forward, dragging aside your neckline to reveal bruised teeth marks from where he'd last fed. You stiffen slightly, caught off guard by his quick movements. "What have I done to deserve any of your grace? I deceived you, tried to hunt you in the night, have taken everything I could from you with no promises to give any of it back."

"Astarion," you whisper, and for the first time, you think you are finally seeing him. "What makes you think you have to earn it?"

And that, finally, is what breaks him.

He rises up on his knees and takes your face in his hands, and there's a frenzy there, a desperation that makes you tense. You think he might shake you so hard your ruined brain will rattle around in your skull, and you watch the thought form behind his eyes. You realize that he could kill you here, right now, in any number of ways. He could slit your throat, drive a dagger beneath your ribs & pierce your heart, bleed you dry until you're nothing but a memory upon this land.

You realize this, and yet your body relaxes in his hands.

You trust him completely.

The look in his eyes is suddenly wild, confused, exasperated. Of all the prey he's ever hunted before, why did you have to be the one he showed the monster to? Anyone else would've run; you should've, too. Yet here you sit, on this riverbank beside him, looking into his blood-red eyes because he's led you right where he wanted you. Surely you aren't too stupid to see that.

Yet here you are, staring at him with those big, trusting eyes as he holds your life in his hands.

There must be something wrong with you, he decides then. Beyond the parasite in your head, and beyond the spells of very bloody memory loss; there is something fundamentally, elementally, seriously wrong with you. It's the only way he can explain to himself why you're still sitting here, prey in its predator's sight, unwavering & unafraid.

At that look in your eyes, that brave, corruptible expression, he leans closer. He says your name, and it's like the last prayer he'll ever speak. "Tell me what you want," he whispers, and he's almost begging.

You lean in, too, until the tip of your nose brushes the slope of his, and you breathe, "You."

And then he's kissing you, and you let out a small gasp, because you can't believe this beautiful elf has chosen you. He breathes you in, his hands still cupping your cheeks, and you thread your fingers into his silvery curls, beckoning him closer. One of his hands traces down your side, wrapping around your waist and holding you closer so you can feel the lines of him through your camp clothes. You gasp again, surprised by his unyielding grip, and his tongue slips between your parted lips, searching, exploring, tasting. You groan quietly, low in your throat, and his other hand traces from your cheek to your neck, fingers searching for the source of the sound. They find it, and they squeeze…

With his hand on your throat, feeling your pulse through the delicate skin, Astarion is nearly hypnotized.

He wishes that hunger deep in his belly would fade, would disappear and leave him to enjoy this, to lose himself in the moment like he hasn't in two hundred years. But it burns hot, and he can hear your heart beating strong in your chest, quickening as he moves against you, presses into you. It gnaws at him, spurned and getting harder to ignore, and you feel him bracing, beginning to pull away because he shouldn't do this to you— he can't—

You pull back from him, and he wonders how you could have possibly known his thoughts and braces for the impact of a stake in his heart—

Instead you tilt your chin and arch your back, and your hands in his hair lead him right to where he needs to be. His mouth brushes the pulse at your throat.

His vision flashes red; he can feel your blood thrumming against his lips, feel the seductive brush of each pulse against his mouth. He groans, and he wants to fight it, because gods he wishes things were different, but his lips part and his jaw opens, and he's biting into your throat.

A breath hisses from between your teeth at the sensation, at the ice traveling down your spine and chilling you to the bone. His mouth on you is unyielding as he cradles you in his hands, drinking you in in every way possible. Your eyes fall closed, and you begin to float, your thoughts becoming lighter than the clouds. You smile, because you can still feel him grasping at you, wanting you, needing you.

You trust him completely.

That hunger inside him pushes him to drink you dry, to tear your life from your hands until it burns in his chest instead. But he pries himself away from your throat, mouth dripping with scarlet and breath stuttering from between his lips. You can feel his chest heaving against you, can feel air fanning against your neck. You're still smiling.

"You," he gasps, easing you back down against the ground beneath you as he licks his teeth clean, "you ruin me." And then he kisses that smile on your mouth, and he's hovering over you, holding himself above you. It feels like a question.

When he pulls away, you open your eyes to see the stars painted over his shoulders. He looks predatory, like he's standing over the tattered remains of his latest hunt, but you see the softness in his expression, the vulnerability. He doesn't want to hurt you; he doesn't want this to be like all the other times, and he surely doesn't want this to be the first of its own terrible kind. He wants you, you realize. Not your blood, not your power, not your protection or your loyalty or your allegiance; he wants you.

You're ready to let him have you, if he'll take you.

"Astarion." You whisper his name, and he leans closer, his curls brushing your cheek. It tickles, and you giggle under your breath.

He tries not to stiffen at the sound. He forgets how soft you are sometimes, how gentle. It creates an air of innocence, though he watched you tear through goblins and cursed undead only hours before, and he knows without a doubt you can handle yourself. For a moment, he feels like the monster under the bed again.

But you touch his face, so very gently, and kiss him. Softly, sweetly, you call him back to you.

"I'm yours," you breathe, "if you'll have me."

And oh, it’s not even a question.

He’ll have you, he decides, pressing you back against the ground until rocks dig into your shoulders. He’ll take whatever you will give him, and when you’ve had enough, he will probably still be on his knees before you, begging for more.

Before that thought can scare him away, he trails his touch over your thin, casual clothes, grasping at the hem of your shirt. He pulls it over your head, leaving you naked from the waist up. He pulls back to look at you, to admire you, but you — suddenly cold and bashful — wrap your arms over your chest.

You hide from him, and he’s suddenly confused.

He examines the nervous look in your eyes, the way you're flushed in embarrassment and trying to hide beneath him, and all the little puzzle pieces suddenly click into place. This is new to you, he realizes. Maybe not truly and entirely; maybe you were taken to bed in whatever life you had before, but you don't remember that now. For you, with your absent memories and shattered persona, this was your first time.

It's suddenly all too much for him, and he shrinks away from you, leaning back into his heels. He holds his face in his hands, and he shakes his head ever so slightly, because it's too familiar a sight, to pin down bright innocence beneath his hips and drag it into the darkness. He wants to run away, to curse you for ever asking him to come to your camp and join your little band of misfits.

For a moment, he wishes he never met you; at least he wouldn't have to question every action he takes.

You prop yourself up on your elbows as he recedes from you, and very slowly and gently take one of his hands in yours. He's shaking, just barely, but your throat seems to close with a flood of emotion.

"Astarion," you whisper, and you gently pry his hand away from his face. His eyes are shut tightly, his lips twisted in a grimace. You bring his hand towards your lips, and you leave a kiss on his palm, feather light. "Astarion," you say again, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Of course, you have to be the first person to say those words. The first person to encourage him to say no, when all he wants — for the first time in two hundred years — is to say yes.

For a moment, he’s bitter, and you can see the flash of frustration in his eyes when he finally opens them. But it’s gone in a moment, and he grins, flashing his teeth as he leans back in. “My dear,” he says, his silver tongue and honeyed words his only protection against the overwhelming confusion that’s threatening to settle over him, “I want this, trust me.”

He moves to catch your mouth with his, but you put your hand on his chest and stop him before he can. Your brows are creased, pulled together in concern.

The message is clear; you won’t let him use you to destroy himself.

His eyes flutter closed once more, and he breathes deeply, reminding himself where he is, who he is with. When he opens his eyes, they are gentle, softer than you’ve ever seen. You think, for a moment, maybe he has grown to trust you, too.

Slowly, without that same underlying malice, he leans in, close enough that his lips brush yours when he speaks. “I want this,” he repeats, his voice so quiet you can almost convince yourself you’ve imagined it. But then his mouth is on yours again, and he returns to his work removing your clothes.

His movements are slow, now, methodical. Like he’s trying to shake off decades of ghosts as he slides your pants down your thighs; maybe he is, you think. The fabric reaches your ankles, and you help him wriggle you free, and he tosses the clothing aside. Your underwear soon follow. Then, for one long, languorous moment, he looks at you, naked under the moonlight. Your mouth is red and sinful from kissing him, and the chilly breeze of the ever-present darkness raises goosebumps along your skin. Your nipples grow hard and pink, and you shiver. His gaze continues lower, to where you nervously squeeze your legs together in one last attempt at preserving your decency.

He wants to ruin you.

He brushes your thighs apart with one commanding swipe of his hand, and you shiver at the look in his eyes. Pupils blown wide with desire, he stares up at you through his lashes as he dips down, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the valley between your breasts. He settles his body between your legs, and he veers to one side and licks a line towards one nipple, catching it between his lips. The wind cools his saliva until you’re shivering, and you’re not sure if it’s the cold or the pleasure as your head tilts back, your body arching against the ground.

Astarion suddenly sucks, his cheeks hollowing slightly as he pulls at your nipple. You gasp, and he relishes in the sound, watching you bare your throat to him. He gazes up at you, admiring the sight, as his hand slips between your thighs.

Suddenly, you gasp when fingertips stroke against your core, revealing your glistening slick. Astarion groans, the mound of your breast still in his mouth. “All this talk,” he teases, reaching up and grabbing your jaw in one hand. With the other, he rocks his touch back just slightly, barely brushing against your clit. “You should be the one telling me how much you want it, desperate little thing.”

Your face burns at his words and his casual tone, but you can’t even argue with him before he sweeps his tongue into your mouth. He licks your teeth, and at the same time he presses two fingers inside you, and you let out a broken moan against his lips. You can feel his wolfish smile as he pulls back before pumping back inside you.

You can feel how wet you are, can feel it dripping down the inside of your thighs. He moves slowly, though, allowing the gentle stretch of his fingers as he kisses you. His thumb draws lazy little circles over your clit, and he catches each of your moans with his mouth, learning exactly what you like with a few strokes of his expert hands.

Then, just as your breathing starts to hitch and break, he pulls away, taking his hand from the wet heat between your legs.

The sound you make almost comes out as a whine, and Astarion laughs, watching you flush deep crimson. “Someone needs to mind their manners,” he chastises playfully, and then he lifts his fingers to his mouth and licks them clean, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

Your flush impossibly deepens, and you almost look away in embarrassment. But you can’t tear your eyes from the shameful scene, and you can tell that he knows how much it turns you on to see him like this. He grins again, and then he dips his head, disappearing between your thighs.

Before you can process his quick movements, you feel him lick molten heat up your core, and you throw your arms out to the sides, scrambling for purchase. You gasp his name, and you feel him chuckle more than you hear it.

”Yes, my dear?” he asks before running the flat of his tongue against your clit.

Your body stiffens, and your face lifts to the heavens. “Don’t stop,” is all you can muster.

And he doesn’t.

He eats you out until you’re shaking, falling apart under him. He presses his fingers back into you, three this time, and sucks on your clit while he strokes you from the inside. He stares up at you while he does it, watching you writhe in breathless, beautiful agony. One of your hands finds his hair, brushing through his curls with a touch that’s much too gentle for what you’re suffering at his hand.

You can feel your pleasure mounting, tightening like a coil deep in your belly while heat flames between your legs. Your moans are coming out in pants, now, barely intelligible noises that break against the riverbed. Your hand in his hair tightens, gripping for dear life and holding him there and pushing him away all in the same movement, and your back bows off the ground, your eyes nearly rolling back into your head as he pushes you higher and higher—

Then, like a band snapping, your orgasm rocks through you, and your vision goes black while your hips stutter and your core clenches and quivers.

Bliss washes over you, and you slowly come back to earth, and you find Astarion unbuckling his armor, nearly frantic in his movements.

”Astarion,” you croak, reaching for him.

He leans over you, kissing you, letting you taste yourself on his lips, his tongue. His hands tug feverishly at the buckles.

”Astarion,” you sound like you’re begging. “Astarion, please—“

He huffs playfully, still pushing off his leather armor one layer at a time. “What is it?” he asks, sparing one hand to stroke gently at your throat. “Do you need some attention? Aren’t you just obsessed—?”

”No,” you whine, finally rising up on your knees and reaching for his hands. “Let me— I want you to feel good.”

By now, his chest is bare, and he’s kicked off his boots. “Sweet thing, the thought of being inside you is driving me insane.” His leather pants slide down his thighs. “Do you want—?”

”Astarion,” you say again, your voice emphatic. You take his hand and bring it to your mouth, parting your lips against his fingers. “Please.”

Astarion freezes suddenly, staring at you with an expression of recognition. His eyes trail from yours down to your mouth, where his fingers sit. He can feel the heat of your breath, and he grows impossibly harder at the thought of what you’re asking.

It’s something he’s so rarely done since being turned. A pleasure he’s so rarely accepted.

Your lips brush his fingertips when you speak. “I want to make you feel good,” you whisper, and then you take two of his fingers in your mouth.

His stomach drops as he watches you, and his cock twitches at the sinful sight of your lips wrapped around his long pale fingers. You watch his pupils dilate, and his lips part slightly as you slide your tongue down, swirling gently. Your own desire pools in your belly, watching him watch you.

Please.

He nods, his breath starting to hitch slightly at the idea of filling that mouth. You smile, and you draw back until his fingers leave your mouth with a pop. Then you ease him back gently onto his elbows, picking up where he left off by dipping your fingers into the band of his underwear. You look up through your eyelashes, watching his chest heave up and down.

”Tell me to stop,” you say sternly, and he nods, understanding your meaning. So, having his confirmation, you continue.

You slide his last layer of clothing slowly down his strong thighs, watching every reaction your movements elicit. Watching for any sign of trepidation, of apprehension. But you only see desire, and one of his hands goes to your hair, knotting in your tresses. Encouraging you further.

You move your hands lower and lower, and your mouth begins to water as you follow the shaft of his cock. He’s gorgeous in every way, and when you finally reveal the pink head, glistening with precum, you have to hold yourself back from devouring him.

You tug his underwear the rest of the way off, and then you kneel in front of him, sure that whatever gods may be listening have placed him here in front of you.

You dip your head forward, wanting only to touch him with your mouth. With his hold on your hair, hopefully that would give him enough power to say no if it became too much. Tentatively, and watching for his reaction, your tongue slips out from between your lips and licks a gentle line along his shaft, giving you your first taste of him.

Astarion’s entire body stiffens at the sensation, and you do not move again, waiting for some sign that this was okay. After a moment, he tugs at your hair and very gently touches your cheek, and the look in his eyes is clear direction for you to continue.

You brush your lips against him, leaving gentle kisses, and then your tongue follows to the head of his dick, tasting his precum before swirling and bobbing deeper.

Astarion throws his head back, and he keens as you take him into your mouth. It’s a broken sound, but his hand in your hair pushes you deeper, and you obey. You drool when his hips cant forward, and you match his movements by swirling your tongue and pulling back before sliding all the way back down. He almost can’t believe the skill of your mouth, with how innocent you looked not five minutes ago, but then his thoughts scatter again when he hits the back of your throat.

He wants to press you down until you’re choking on him, wants to cum in your mouth and make a mess of you—

But he stops himself, pulls you back by your hair and kisses you, because he needs to fuck you.

He’s panting when he grabs you by the throat and lowers you onto your back. “Say it again,” he tells you, half delirious with the need to be inside you. “Say you’re mine.”

”I’m yours,” you respond immediately, eyes shining in the moonlight.

He groans your name, cupping his hands under your thighs. He wraps your legs around his waist, lining himself up at your entrance. Your cunt is still dripping for him, and he presses his fingers against your clit, watching you jump as he touches the swollen bundle of nerves. He laughs, a breathless sound, and then he places one hand beside your head, staring into your eyes as he slides inside you.

Thank you, he wants to say. Thank you for saving me.

But that’s much too vulnerable a thought to share, so he simply rocks his hips into yours, watching your mouth fall open in pleasure.

He’s perfect, you think as he slides back out of you before slamming back in, setting a brutal, unrelenting pace. He’s perfect and he’s here and he’s yours, and you want to tell him so, but you can’t even speak, so you squeak out moans and scrabble at his chest as he fucks you.

He watches you quickly come undone beneath him, and when he decides he needs more, he lifts one of your legs and props it over his shoulder. The new angle lets him hit a target inside you that has you seeing stars, and you’re a drooling mess beneath him, eyes glazed over with pleasure. His fingers once again find your clit, and he rubs those practiced circles, just like before. He watches your chest heave, and your lips try to form his name, but he’s knocking the wind out of you with every thrust. You feel him inside you, on top of you, all around you, and you know that this is dangerous, that this is the sort of magic that will keep you coming to his tent every night.

And oh, how you both want to tear each other apart each night.

You feel your second orgasm building, so much faster than the first, and you gaze up into his eyes, watching him fuck you, and it quickly becomes too much.

“Astarion,” you finally gasp, your voice pitched so high it almost breaks, “pleasepleasepleaseplease—“

The sound of your voice threatens to send him over the edge, and his thrusts begin to turn wild, frantic. He shoves himself into you until you come apart, unraveling at the seams. Your cunt clenches over and over again, pulling him closer from the inside, and before he can pull out to empty himself on your stomach, you grab his shoulder and tilt your hips forward, begging him to stay there.

Begging him to cum inside you.

The thought shatters him, and he moans into the crook of your shoulder, thrusting erratically as he rides out his own orgasm. You feel his cock twitching inside you, and you hold him close as his thrusts slow, then stop.

As you hold him, you press gentle kisses to his face. His forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, his nose, his chin. His lips. He kisses you back, slowly, deeply. Then he pulls himself out of you, and you almost regret the sudden emptiness. But you can’t think about it for too long before he lowers himself to the ground beside you, and you follow him, still kissing every inch of him that you can reach.

”I’m yours,” you remind him. And even as you both start to clean up and head back to camp, he remembers those words.

He belonged to no one, but maybe one day, he wouldn’t mind belonging to you.

thanks for reading! -luna xx link to ao3

[poppetsisters]

There's this really cool horror trope I've noticed lately of a villain being introduced in a simplified, unscary form, but later evolving into something so detailed and terrifying, it takes your breath away.

This is not the same as a traditional metamorphosis like in body horror cinema because the trope relies on the medium it uses to sell the scare.

Minor spoilers for Don't Hug Me I'm Scared. Major spoilers for Inscryption and I Saw The TV Glow

To introduce you to the concept, I'm just gonna show you the Care Hound from Don't Hug Me I'm Scared.

It's the Carehound alright, or rather a pictorial representation of the Carehound. But how do they look in real life?

Ah.

Like the rest of the show, this is both terrifying and hilarious. You think because it's a 2D representation of the dog that the eyes on the side of the head are just artistic license, but then he turns toward you and you realise no actually, he literally has two eyes on each side! Genius. 10/10 joke.

But you see what I mean right? You're given a disarming image of the antagonist so that later, they can pull the rug out from under you with the truth. And there's an element of adaptation limitation that is then broken through. Suddenly the artifice doesn't feel so fake, and you're pulled in.

Now let's talk about Inscryption. Ironically, the game does this in reverse. Though Leshy is hidden in shadow during most of Act 1, we see his evolved form first.

and when Act 2 starts, we see what he was like before.

I believe this was done to de-fang our feral card master after having been our antagonist the whole game. Where once he was powerful polygons, he is now pitiful pixels.

But while all this has been happening, the real threat has been hidden in our deck this whole time.

P03 was introduced to us as nothing more than one card in our deck. He wasn't even a good card. But now it's Act 2 and we realise he, along with the other three Scrybes were trapped in lesser forms by Leshy when he took control of the game. For a whole act, we see something close to a status quo with these guys, who bicker and fight over control of the disc.

We see P03's true form in all it's 16-bit glory, as well as the environment he inhabits. While atmospheric, you can tell the graphics hold him back. He seems so small and pitiful. Simple and limited.

and then he takes control.

The first time I played this section, there was something so visceral about the leap. I stopped seeing P03 as an NPC inside a 90s TDC and was forced to see him as an entity haunting a cursed floppy disc. Once again, the artifice made me too comfortable, and now anything that felt more real than that became hyper real.

and no movie pulled this off quite has effectively as I Saw The TV Glow.

I am once again flashing a spoiler warning. If you haven't seen I Saw The TV Glow, do not continue reading until you have.

We are introduced to Mr Melancholy as the antagonist of a young adult fantasy series called The Pink Opaque.

Not as the antagonist of the movie we're watching, but the villain of the TV show within the movie.

Right off the bat, Mr Melancholy isn't even on our radar. Even worse, the special effects they use to portray him are laughable.

We see him once again as our lead characters stare dreamily up into the sky, further re-enforcing how silly this guys looks. I mean come on, he looks like an uncooked pancake!!

That all changes when Owen sits down to watch the final episode of The Pink Opaque, which was mysteriously cancelled after a cliffhanger ending.

The build up and climax to what happens next is one of the most harrowing cinema experiences I've had in my entire life. This is your final spoiler warning.

Isabel and Tara, the two leads in the Pink Opaque, are kidnapped by Mr Melancholy's henchmen and brought face to face with the moon man himself.

He looks... good. No, good isn't the right word... he looks convincing. The visual effects between the last time we saw him to now jumped a literal century, and combined with the crt filter hide any possible cg imperfections. In short, it make him look like he's really in the scene.

Or rather... that he's really in the room.

He gets closer, explaining his plan to trap the girls in a realm without magic or memory, where they will suffocate in the nightmare. Where they don't remember the powers they have, or the people they are. where you don't even notice the aspect ratio switched.

Where you don't even remember that you're dying.

and just like that, Mr Melancholy becomes the most real thing in the entire world. He becomes YOUR villain, he's trying to kill YOU! He's already succeeded in killing YOU. YOU are SUFFOCATING right now and you don't even KNOW!

and that's when you remember to breathe.

[holycowboytiger]

Cw: PTSD, Homophobia, trauma

Gaz centric Drabble because none of you appreciate my loverboy

Imagine being Kyle’s best friend, you guys grew up together, were inseparable for the entirety of your teenage and early adult years, you knew everything about eachother, hell, Kyle even called you after his first time panicked that he did everything wrong and you laughed down the phone at him,,, but then tried to comfort him because he was actually really upset (he’s a sensitive guy what can I say)

He calls you when he gets kicked out.

You call him when your mother had started yet another argument over nothing.

You had been there for eachother through thick and thin, joined at the hip, never apart, until-

Kyle joins the military as soon as you applied for a college, and while you want to be upset, you saw it coming, he’d been talking about enlisting for years and nothing was going to deter him from it.

So you let him go, hoping he’d find his way back to you, he was literally all you had, which is embarrassing, and very sad but whatever.

You guys drift, obviously, you’re busy with college, he’s busy with… whatever he does, and soon enough daily talking goes to weekly, then monthly….

Truth is, Kyle has plenty of distractions, in the form of his 3 teammates who are…. A bit too into him….

Not that he’s complaining.

But he is neglecting you, the person he grew up with, his teammates, if you can even call them that, barely even know anything about you, other than you grew up together.

Kyle didn’t even remember what you were studying- ah… shit…

He’s drifting even more now, distracted with his big important job and his dumb boyfriends, forgetting about his best friend, who guided him through life, who sheltered Kyle in their own house after he got kicked out for telling his dad he wasn’t just into girls..

Forget about that friend! They’re grown now, they don’t need him! This is what happens when people get older, they mature and there’s less need for friends to be so… close

He doesn’t need you anymore… even when he argues with one of his teammates, even when a mission goes south, and he finds the stress seeping into him, the paranoia clogging his throat, even when he can’t sleep at night, kept up by the sounds of gunshots, even when he can’t breathe, and can’t think straight- and the only person he can think of calling is you.

He doesn’t need you though… he doesn’t.

But if his name ever lights up on your phone, even after months of no contact.. please.. pickup the phone… he’s lost and he needs his friend…

[utilitycaster]

Wait. So CR3 ended with Liliana, Ludanis, technically Predathos (within Imogen or something?), and all the gods all still alive (though technically in mortal form)?

I understand that sometimes it's journey before destination and the story is more important than the finale of the story but....W-what was the point??? If the BBEG Cult Leader who kicked this whole thing off to kill the gods and the gods are both still alive what was the point??

So Liliana was alive, Ludinus was alive (having used Clone or similar), and Predathos ran away because the gods assumed mortal form and there was nothing to eat on Exandria.

Really, while again I have my many critiques, the actual only part of this end state I think is a genuine mistake is Ludinus.

I think that Imogen deciding to join with the Volition and assassinate Liliana would have been a compelling character moment for Imogen; when she didn't do that I felt that Liliana dying when she chose to defy Ludinus would have been a compelling character moment for Imogen. When that also did not happen, my general feeling was "I don't really care about her fate, but it doesn't matter at this point," so her ending is one of the many "yeah, that's fine I guess" ones this campaign delivered. I don't think she's a good person, but I also think that now that she's just a regular-ass sorcerer and her cult leader tried to horribly murder her and then disappeared she has no motivation to continue committing crimes so yeah wandering around figuring out who she is now makes sense. It's still not interesting; most of my criticism in the end is "this wasn't very interesting."

The gods becoming mortal was genuinely interesting and any critique I have is how poorly it was signaled, how irrelevant it made any of the excruciatingly dull circular discussions throughout the campaign (and how hypocritical and stupid it made the characters as a result, not that that wasn't a problem from the start), and how malformed the logic of what this means mechanically for clerics was. But that is an interesting change, to me, especially since the Divine Gate is now down. Idk I think it's possible for the cycle to genuinely begin again; I mean, wizards figured out the rites of ascension before. Will one of the gods-become-mortal undo their own bindings, or will some wizard studying this phenomenon hit on the formula? The party (and fandom) discussion of Who Gets Power was rendered completely pointless but like, the actual concept is great.

Ludinus, however; honestly it makes no sense either way because not only did he do nothing to narratively earn any kind of redemptive ending [if I say "earn" know it's narratively because he is a pretend guy and the people who act like fictional characters are real and should get capital punishment are Calvinist freaks]; I don't see why he'd just hang out making tea unless he somehow thinks the gods are genuinely gone, having missed out on the happenings after his form was killed. Like, look. I do not believe that you have to kill the bad guy to have a satisfying ending, but you do need to follow through with the implications and this doesn't seem to have done so. The only possible ways this fits with his character are either that he's biding his time to do some other bullshit (possible, and if he pops up in a one-shot or miniseries to do villainy and get murdered I'll grant this), if he somehow hasn't found out and thinks the gods are dead (less likely but admittedly pretty funny, and if he lives out the remainder of his life in an isolated cottage, blissfully ignorant, thinking he got his revenge when he never did, that is a boring option but see above, this campaign usually went with the boring option for character development so what else is new), or if we somehow managed to get an ending that is more unwilling to give someone any kind of follow-through in the end than Ted Lasso, which is embarrassing, and I liked Ted Lasso for what it was.

[sir-myst-cake]

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

[sickskz]

hello! i was curious as to what your skz member emeto headcanons are??

Oh my god, this woke up something in me mrhsbshden thank you for this!!!!

As I started writing, new ideas just kept coming - so this is a little all over the place 😂 I’m posting it now but I’m definitely going to have to come back and edit/add more 🤭 some of this is so random too- but I just feel it fits!

SKZ emeto/sick hcs:

Bang Chan:

- Definietly tries to go through it alone.

- His tummy is sOOO loud, gurgles and squeaks all over the place.

- Obviously, spicy food fucks him up. It’s even worse coming back up.

- “Oh, I’m- HRRRUGGHH- I’m fine 😊”

- Sometimes a quiet puker and sometimes a loud puker, it really depends.

- He groans, sighs and whimpers a lot when he’s really nauseated.

- Good at pretending he isn’t sick (confirmed by the members)

- However, if he’s got a really crampy stomach, his facial expressions may give him away..

- He also sweats a lot when he’s nauseous.

- Often gets reflux into his nose and it only makes him feel more sick. Plus, It burrnsss.

- Doesn’t want the others to worry, but he greatly appreciates their concern and accepts their coddling gratefully. He thinks they’re sweet.

Lee Know:

- Sucks at warning someone before he pukes…

- Gets cranky and quiet when he’s unwell and nauseous.

- Stares off a lot, but he already does that in general- so it’s hard to tell the difference.

- Has indeed worked himself to the point of puking from exertion before.

- This dude can walk, albeit pale, totally nonchalantly to the side of the road and ‘casually’ throw up like crazy before returning back to pretend like nothing happened. + might just hit them with a thumbs up to show he’s okay while the others look on, absolutely mortified by his indifference.

Changbin:

- Where tf his gag reflex at?

- Doesn’t throw up easily, which is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes the nausea has him drenched in sweat and writhing in pain, but his body just won’t let it happen :(

- Might sit on the bathroom floor for the longest of times, blanket around him shoulders as he breathes shakily through the nausea.

- Definitely doesn’t mind having some company once in a while, it’s nice to have a lap to rest his head on.

- pretty pouty and sulky when he’s in pain.

- Has been so nauseous and desperate before that one of the members had to ‘help him out’ by pushing on his stomach or gagging him to help him get relief.

- Surprisingly not as loud a puker as you would’ve assumed. Generally louder at all times when he’s not puking.

- When he finally pukes it’s more the “Hhrup—“ followed by powerful waves of vomit gushing out of him, not giving him a break until he’s finished, left coughing and panting.

Hyunjin:

- You can, as with a lot of other things, usually tell how he’s feeling by his facial expressions long before he says anything.

- “I’m literally dying over here and you’re going to get boba? Just tell me you hate me and leave me to suffer”

- Sensitive gag reflex. 10x worse when he’s actually sick.

- Sensitive stomach too. Tends to disagree with new foods.

- Gets really emotional when he’s sick, lips wobbling and eyes glistening with tears.

- Loud puker, deep, heart-wrenching heaves that makes anyone cringe in sympathy.

- Dry heaves a lot even though he’s all empty, usually struggling to calm his body down. Someone rubbing his back and muttering some sweet words usually helps.

- Prefers having a bucket or something while being comfortable in bed or on the couch, rather than throwing up in the toilet. The toilet feels dirty and the floor is too hard on his poor aching body.

- Soaked in sweat, literally lays in a pool of it. It’s like he’s melting away.

- Gets motion sick and tends to forget his medication (so the others usually makes sure he gets them).

Han:

- Hates being alone when he’s sick. Can’t stand it.

- Clutches onto whatever he can for dear life, the toilet rim, another person, his clothes, anything.

- Struggles to catch his breath in between gags, which only makes him dizzy and even sicker.

- Seeks out any comfort he can get, leaning against someone, loves when they rub his back, brush his hair back, etc.

- Whiny </3 Complains a lot about feeling sick until the nausea actually reaches the ‘I’m gonna puke’ phase. Then, he goes quiet- a telltale sign of what’s about to go down..

- Covers his mouth with a shaky hand while the other clutches his stomach, staggering on his feet as he hurries to the bathroom.

- Throws up a lot, often many times after one another when he’s sick. May as well just camp out in the bathroom until it passes.

- Gets really bad stomach pain and cramps.

- Curls up into a ball of pity, all pouty and pale to the point of actually looking green.

- Holds his stomach a lot, hugging onto himself and rubbing his sour belly 24/7. Not opposed to letting someone else give him a tummy rub either.

- Give him cuddles, please. Any kind +++

- Often finds himself wanting sweets to comfort himself, but it comes right back up again and then he sulks about it.

- Also tends to get an upset stomach from stress and anxiety, but it’s only made him throw up a couple of times.

Felix:

- Is one of the members who actually seeks out one of the others and tell them if he’s feeling sick rather than stay quiet

- Really quiet and weak after throwing up, sluggishly clinging onto whoever he can reach

- Generally pretty clingy when he feels sick, he needs so have someone close to cuddle up against for comfort

- Harsher heaves makes his back hurt :(

- Often ties his hair back if he’s nauseous, prepared for what’s to come

- Also tends to get very emotional, sentimental even, especially if he has a fever. The smallest of things tip him over and it’s heartbreaking

- Crying makes him nauseous again though, so it’s a vicious cycle

- Coughs and splutters more than he heaves and gag, it that makes sense? Tends to choke too

- Low rumbly burps and belches

- Nauseous hiccups <3

- Super shaky, his legs are literally jelly. Might need a piggyback ride to his room or smth

- Passes out fairly easily from dehydration and fevers, much to his (and the others’) dismay…

- gets sympathy sick, especially if he’s already a little queasy already. So it’s a mess when many of them are sick at once :’)

Seungmin:

- He’s so stubborn..

- He’s barely holding it together but if someone asks ‘are you okay?’, he’ll be all ‘yeah, are YOU okay?’ Unless he’s already too nauseous to bother. Then he’ll just wave off any concern.

- He gets very ‘spacey’ and fidgety when he’s nauseous. Stares off into the distance, hands fiddling with the edge of his shirt or whatever it may be to try and ground himself.

- Sighs a lot when he’s nauseous, stifling a lot of silent chesty burps.

- When he first pukes, he has a very ‘let’s get it over with’ mindset, not really having space for any dramatics.

- Isn’t that loud when he pukes, but tends to choke and coughs quite a bit.

- Similarly to LK, he too is often bad at giving someone a warning before he gets sick. It can go from 0 to 100 reeeal quick.

- “*siiiiiigh* so….. I think I might be sick..” after having thrown up consistently for half an hour.

- Also holds his stomach a lot, often laying on his left side to get comfortable.

- He has a puppyM hot water bottle to his rescue and curls up with it on the couch or in his bed. Oversized hoodies are a must too.

- I feel like he has a tendency to get migraines that makes him nauseous as well..

Jeongin (I.N) :

- His body gets very tense when he’s nauseous.

- Also very quiet and withdrawn, tends to just ‘disappear’ and hide away if he can.

- Despite his maknae status he definitely doesn’t admit to feeling sick until he practically has to.

- Doesn’t want to be touched and needs some space at first. If he seeks out physical comfort on his own, he really isn’t feeling well..

- Does appreciate gestures like offering a cold towel, bringing him a glass of water, etc.

- A lot of nauseous burps, but he finds it embarrassing and tries to stifle them.

- Falls asleep a lot, anywhere and anytime.

- Often gets very dizzy and weak after puking so he does need someone to lean on.

- Not sure why but he usually has an emotional support pillow when he’s sick. Just a normal pillow usually. Always hugs it to his chest, sleeps with it, brings it with him to the bathroom for comfort, etc. it’s just something he tends to do, a habit of sorts.

- He was very very sick with the flu or something once (high fevers and vomiting) and threw up in his sleep- which almost had him choking hadn’t his members been around. Chan was absolutely traumatised after that and would not let Jeongin sleep ‘unattended’ for 1-2 months afterwards..

+++ I love the idea of both Chan and Felix starting to speak English when they’re really sick, especially when a fever is making them woozy or delirious. Or just finding comfort in someone speaking English to them <3

[annah-kitathryne]

@dchuntress this is for you.

My Extreamly Biased Review Of Detective Comics [2016] #1090 - 1093

These are my notes taken as I was reading, and I sum up some of my thoughts at the very end. I said I would only review Scarlett, but I want to wait for the story arc to finish before I do so. So here's my unfiltered notes on these four issues

I don't provide a lot of context to my thoughts, so please either read the issues or remain out of the know.

1090

Morality plot that might be interesting interesting

Saving the life of an abuser, the girl is seventeen, so a child abuser who made a teenager pregnant.

Martha is able to help a new mother, who is seventeen, if that needs to be stated again. This mother is a child herself.

Martha having what appears to be contrasting morals to her husband. Cool.

Bruce needs therapy to deal with his childhood trauma (nothing new). He has the money to afford one and pay them off.

Bruce punches a child who is already apologizing and calling for an ambulance. He could have used his words first instead of assaulting a child.

He put on a tracker to the child who might have surrendered without the need to punch and frighten the child.

The kid Bruce beat up was murdered. I don't want to blame him, but Bruce, you have been a vigilante for at least two decades at this point. You should know better! Eh he has a habit of that.

Perfume = white musk. I know nothing of perfumes, but this reads very much like a play on the white privilege that comes from a system where children being murdered is considered the norm.

Acknowledging, he hit the child. You're doing better than you were in the 90s. Still an apology without change and action means nothing.

Scarlett Martha Scott is pretty, I love her hair color.

They [Bruce and Scarlett] appear to have some history that is nice for a character to have.

Disturbingly cool science that causes a person to decrease age reminds me of that rich guy who gets blood transfusions from his son. Also vampirism.

She has beliefs that contradict those in which Bruce's dad passes to Bruce. Cool point of contention.

"Youth is wasted on the young." She's connected to the murders. We love morally and financially corrupt female characters, though. However, that statement reads very much like what an old politician would say to his buddies behind closed doors.

Plot point reminds me a bit of Batman Beyond Lazarus pit youth plot.

Love that Bruce pointed out that he did not take the Oath because I have words about how he handles things.

Bruce really went: With this purely medical enhancement, I could reverse some aging and ergo help more people.

Thomas releasing Joe Chill. Irony.

1091

Batman is having a nightmare about the kids being Robin and shooting Joker, Batman slaps the kid and that slap kills the kid.

The children's deaths are definitely related to the Holy Grail.

Targeting disenfranchised children who the media and populace are not going to miss.

Bullock assuming Batman is human.

The artwork for the truck scene was beautiful.

I like the colors

Bruce is envious of Damian's ability to fight. [Sidenote: we need to have a discussion on the different abilities and ages all the different Robins experienced as Batman's sidekick. Dick would have been sidekick to a young Batman who was still early into being Batman vs. Damian who is dealing with an older Batman but one who has got the procedure down.]

Bruce having very real knee pain.

Not me forgetting Alfred is dead. Good he's dead.

Is the world truly safer with Batman in it? It's the chicken and egg question. The hero rising to the challenge of the villain vs. The villain is rising to challenge the hero.

Superman being positive.

More than one motive? Scarlett that is suspicious as all hell.

Do the wrong thing for the right reason. Scarlett wants to force the rich to recognize they have to preserve the planet in order to live longer on it, but that won't ever happen. It isn't in the nature of the rich.

Doctor Forster has been blunt. Pfff. Bruce is playing self-consious.

'Biologically younger than your age.' What does that even mean? And with the amount of stress and damage done to Bruce's body? How?

Take some pills and use these creams. Reminds me of those commercials.

I like that Scarlett is smart. We love smart morally corrupt women.

Damian really went: Father, it's 2 a.m., and you have been asleep for 11 hours.

Bruce handing Damian his blood? Bruce, stop being creepy. What is he supposed to do with that?

Bruce immediately tests it after a day. You know. Like an idiot.

Bruce, you care about if there are lives lost but not the medical bills they can't pay.

Yeah, that villain is Forster, Scarlett, or someone who works for them.

1092

Okay, 1. He is a child. How is Kai harming you. 2. [Jump up kick that whip around and spin, now jump back do it again. . .]

So not only is it repairing the damages of you know fighting crime and the natural process of aging but it also enhances the brain. I can't possibly imagine how that goes wrong.

Yep, they are stealing the children's blood. Black market organ harvesting is back in business. Rebranded and even more deadly.

[Full disclosure took a moment to stop and browse Ebay for Red Robin comics. Found some and bought them. The top part of my page of notes is covered in marked numbers.]

Another weird organization is not allowing the GCPD to investigate? Honestly, tracks for Gotham. And because the police are good guys to Batman comics, this group will be bad guys.

I was right they are stealing the blood of children. Bruce is now directly benefitting from the murder of children just like every other rich person.

Vampires!

Bruce 'my son, is hurting, and I will punch these guys to get an ID out of them.'

The I.D. card looking like the grail is 'how to get caught 101'. Should have had that I.D. card be something else.

Okay so she's possibly being threatened. Possibly.

I love her hair and clothes style. We don't see enough morally corrupt people wear pink.

Okay, they [Bruce and Scarlett] do look kinda cute together.

What do you mean there is nothing you can do about your mother?

Aww they beat up muggers together. That's cute. But now you both look suspicious.

Bruce what are you doing?

Omg Bruce!

Barbara calling the grail connection a coincidence? What have they done to you, babs? Have they downgraded your smarts.

Babs, you would be able to crack those encryptions given enough time.

Damian doesn't look enough like Talia. Child, where is your mother's genetics?

His attitude is kinda funny.

1093

Jason shows up and traumatizes another child.

Oh all of them are hunting down the seven missing children.

Babsgirl. . .ehhhh.

Batman sounding accusatory about a child who committed a crime.

Bruce is calling a guy who is head taller than him a 'small, small, man.'

'You don't know what I've done.' Damian and Jason: I've done worse.

Damian was a child, though.

All these Bats are in a room together, and no one is fighting or being snarky at each other? Damn.

Tim and Damian are nearly the same height.

Okay, so that was perspextive. But they should be closer in height than what is being shown.

Casually calling your girlfriend while running down a security guard? Bruce . . .

Never mind he was a merc.

Penguin back again.

The murderer is protected by a secret power? Probably the elites paying money to be medically de-aged.

Asema- quick Google search has the name connected to the Fan word Azema, which means vampire or the Ojibwe word asemaa, which means 'to make'. They are fitting because they are in a way making vampires.

Asema believes that people don't deserve more than one chance. Asema, these are children.

Children who must I mention are being spat back out into a world where they were put into circumstances where they committed crimes? You can't just throw someone, especially children, back into the same situation and expect complete change!

That criminal is a CHILD.

Asema obviously has a lot of trauma that has her targeting the individuals who cause the pain instead of the system that creates the situations that shape individuals. Killing children will NOT solve the problem. It only makes things worse.

Is another kid dead?

Yeah.

You also allowed them to collect your blood idiot.

Can Cass come in and beat this lady up and go all 'No one dies tonight' on her.

And they have your identity. Good going Bruce.

Final thoughts? [So far.]

I'll hold off on character judgment until the storyline finishes, but here are some of my basic thoughts I might expand later. Maybe.

Vampirism as an allegory for the rich and powerful ducking the life out of the people. Shown through the taking of blood from children who have already been victims of the prison industrial complex in order to keep the elite young.

Bruce is actually feeling the natural effects of aging and using his body as a weapon. I fear this is just a plot device that will not continue forward. [Correct me if I'm wrong.]

I actually like Scarlett. Whether she turns out to be the ultimate villain of this arc or villain by being complicit in the continued and growing divide between the elite and the people. I think she is an interesting character. I just hope they don't declaw her potential and present villainy. We see that too much with female characters.

Kinda wanna know if the LoA would have any interest in Grail tech, and how it would interact with Lazarus.

I love the artwork, but Damian looks like a Bruce clone and not a child. Where is your mother's genetics child.

This story gave me a lot of flashbacks to the Lazarus Pit story from Batman Beyond.

The interesting probably unintended undertones with Bruce failing to save several children can be read a lot like Bruce, ultimately being part of the problem. Bruce is still a privileged man who is benefiting from the systems put in place to only ever lift the rich up higher, and because of this, he ultimately ends up hurting those who will always be hurt by the system designed to always harm them. Batman's presence ultimately seems to both inspire those who want to help and hurt. It gives blanket permission to and, in consequence, new villains will always rise to the challenge.

[reco-obsessed]

ok . short debrief on my thoughts on rekos feelings about men because id rather put it as its own post instead of ranting on the tags of that post . just this one time

i think a huge part of reko's harshness on men has a lot to do with possible history in the music industry as a child that gets glossed over a lot, both within the story and by the fandom. of course being sold out by her father is already setting up a poor foundation for her expectations of the men in her life, but even besides that- theres so much inherently about the child star environment thats conducive to her distrust in men.

because i think thats a key part of it. reko isnt just harsher on them for no reason; reko distrusts men.

ytts spoilers under the cut.

she has this interaction with professor mishima in ytts, and i think it explains a bit more of initial poor opinion of him. reko doesnt just think hes some weird guy, she thinks hes some weird creepy guy. which, to be fair, if i some some old professor showing up with a young woman as a pair id probably be suspicious, too.

this is also outright confirmation that reko has had personal experience with men in positions of power who used that to take advantage of young women. but back to the child star aspect of it.

i dont think reko was ever in dan schneider levels of concerning situations, but even if reko never experienced being taken advantage by creepy men directly within her time in the lime light, i cant imagine she didnt find out about others who did. with her father blinded by greed, from her perspective, it mustve seemed like a "near miss" situation even if it never ended up happening to her. theres also how being popular so early on wouldve exposed to her the public eye, and how very well a lot of creepy men couldve been making up the most intense of her fans before she actively rebelled so she could have some autonomy over not just the kind of music she was making, but to the kind of people she wouldve been appealing to with her music.

i think theres also a really important character trait of reko's that gets understated in these conversations: reko is someone who isnt willing to compromise or be pushed on her boundaries.

this interaction may seem innocuous ("of course she doesnt give away that kind of information, its a creepy question"), but it directly contrasts something we learn about the AI earlier:

so not only is this something shes not willing to trust with someone she generally trusts (sara), its also something that as an AI should technically go against her nature.

theres other examples as well- reko shutting down joes fanboying at the very beginning of the game by asking him if its really the time, and of course a lot of her interactions with her brother are shadowed by the fact shes not willing to hide the fact she wants nothing to do with him. then, theres this dialogue tree which hints at a weird interaction between keiji and reko offscreen:

which is again hinting at the idea that reko doesnt give in or try to handle people 'softly' should they cross a line with her. her mixture of self-respect, not worrying about coming off crass, and distrust of (and possible history with creepy) men means she comes off pretty harsh at times; at least compared to what specifically women are expected to behave like, though the majority of it is like more defensive than offensive.

lastly, theres also the perspective of reko as an extremely talented woman in a male-dominated genre. punk, and rock music in general, are both mostly led by men. there are a lot of people out there who discredit women in rock music and will claim they have no musical talent, only being there to serve as eye candy, especially if the other band members are men. its not impossible that she went from making shitty (probably pop music) she hated because of being a gifted kid, and then finally working with the sound she wanted, only to suddenly have people turn and try to claim she couldnt play for shit because she was a woman. and in that sense, her harshness could come from another place too- the fact that its a lot easier to get credit as a man automatically for what others have to work to prove. though this take is the one based most on speculation, both because we dont have direct evidence of reko personally feeling this way, experiencing this, and also because im a westerner and this is based on my knowledge of the western punk rock scene, though id be far from surprised to hear if similar precedents were set in japan.

if you reblogged this and am wondering why i havent mentioned her harshness on men having from originated from her father and brother its cause this rant was inspired by this post that already discusses that

[i-have-anxiety-and-i-write]

1. My headcanon is that my Rook joined the Inquisition as a stupid teenager who lied on their resume (like they were even checking) and did a lot of groundwork. Nothing super important, just work. He and his group found a tear in the Veil near a village and were sitting on it trying to keep people away when a mage fancied they could stabilize it and against everyone’s wishes, tried. The backlash and veil ripping caught Rook square in the face and he hasn’t had good, working eyes since.

2. Rook was always a sickly kid, but once between the cold and dust of the Grand Necropolis he came down with a chest infection that sent his mother into a panic. Luckily she took him to others who could help but the effects lingered for some years after and he’s more prone to respiratory problems.

3. A fellow Mourn Watcher that Rook had a crush on but who only saw Rook as some casual fun and a funny story given Rook is a trans foundling raised by a skeleton. “You could barely notice if you did it from behind.” Needless to say getting sent away was a 50/50 split between relief and missing his mother.

4. For Rook? That’s a tough one. His biggest fear is losing his sight as a most realistic fear but there’s also being alone though he’s pretty self sabotaging there.

5. Definitely the injury to his eyes. It was suddenly a lot more real and a lot less fantasy when the Veil slaps you in the face. He left the Inquisition after that. He went home to the Grand Necropolis and for a while hoped he would never see the sky again. His mother helped nudge him more into the Mourn Watch but it was a rough few years.

6. Yep, see their first love. Mostly he didn’t want to see the red flags or listen to his friend remind him that this guy was bad news. He was just happy someone seemed to be accepting him, until he knew otherwise.

7. Physically Rook can take as much pain as they’re able to compartmentalize. If he can keep it away from his thoughts, he should be okay, until someone mentions it. Then it’s all right there. Granted certain injuries that remind him of his eyes or lungs are harder to ignore. Mentally, he isn’t great though. Again, ignore it, but it cycles more often than not. He’s frightened and anxious, but tries to keep that behind his name. Da’Elgar is frightened, not Rook.

8. A demon of hopelessness

9. Being a rabbit running from a veil tear, trying to dodge everything like a frightened cat with no grace, running on empty but if you slip or slow it will catch you, so run rabbit, run.

10. Oh their Mum. Everytime they visit the Necropolis he has flowers and ties them into her ribcage.

11. Again, sight. He hasn’t done much work towards accepting it and really, he works really hard on everything else to avoid thinking about it.

12. Just about everything. They were dropped in the Necropolis as an infant. They love their mother but I doubt other kids were kind about it. Their first love was an ass. Their work in the Mourn Watch got them sent away. Then stopping Solas’ ritual released two gods. …This isn’t going well.

13. On themselves, eye injury. On others? Anything life threatening.

14. I would say he could choose but if it came down to it, his Mum would choose for him. So, it would be Emmrich which would work out in the end. And he would keep her remains regardless.

15. Losing everyone. The Fade Prison could do it. Cut off with only his own thoughts would drag him under. Make him stop running and let himself be overtaken.

16. Not sure but any demon that could promise to protect his loved ones better than he could.

17. Always.

18. Honestly, prove them right. Prove to them that they’re insignificant, remind them their mother is in the Necropolis sweeping and waiting for a man-child that might not return, tell them everything they did will amount to dust and that’s all the resistance they can muster. Prove them right.

19. Emmrich, Bellara, their Mum, Manfred, Taash, Lucanis… Anyone, it’s the same. Make sure it can’t happen again. Make sure that person, enemy, or group can’t get to them again. There may be a stint where Rook doesn’t even want that person out on the ground anymore, but he can’t reasonably lock them up so he hovers, goes with them, does what he can to keep them safe so he can’t fail again.

20. No. He’d have been ready to stop running. Stop running, let it all catch up because in a way that’s a relief. You failed, it’s time to rest now. But Varric, or his memory of Varric, was there. Then his whole found family team was there. And he didn’t have to keep running but that time it was because others could run for or with him.

21. I don’t think he’d have any, but if he did, probably, “About time.”

Put your Rook Through The Horrors™

Feel free to answer some of these for pre-game as well! :)

What is the worst they've ever been injured?

What is the worst they've ever been sick?

What is the worst heartbreak they've ever experienced?

What would fearlings look like to them?

What event brought them to their lowest, mentally? How did they act during this time?

Have they ever been in any unhealthy relationships? This doesn't necessarily have to be romantic.

How high is their physical pain tolerance? Do they ever show if they're in pain? What about their mental pain tolerance? How easy would it be to break them down?

What kind of demon would emerge from them had they been subject to Zara's experiments?

What would a nightmare tailored to their worst fears look like?

Who do they miss the most?

Which one of their senses would they fear losing the most?

What do they doubt most about themselves? Why? Where did this come from?

What kind of injury scares them the most?

Think of the two people they are closest to. They can only save one. Who are they choosing?

What is the one thing that would make them lose all hope?

What kind of demon would be most successful in tempting them? What offer would it have given them?

Have they ever felt insignificant? To the world? To their faction? To their loved ones?

Which one of their insecurities would be the easiest to take advantage of?

One of their loved ones just got grievously injured by their enemies. Who was it? How do they react?

Deep down, did they truly believe they'd be able to get out when they were trapped in the Fade?

What would their last words be?

[plan-3-tmars]

[unriding]

me n moze say good morning to the world !!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ

art by @rabbbitseason of course <3

[kaede-yamada]

They had gone from coworkers, to friends, to lovers. while that seemed like it could have happened fast; the dynamics between them had gradually changed and molded into a way that made everything fit so naturally. It happened in a way that made Kaede feel as though it was always the right thing to do. It also made him hyper aware of their romantic situation. He didn’t it to seem like he was doing too much or want to push her away by being overwhelming. It was why he was always thinking about everything between them with consideration. he’d been through a lot the last few years but he wasn’t trying to make Layla replace anyone or fit in a mold that had been left by his late wife. He wanted Layla to always just be Layla. He wanted her to find the position that made her the most comfortable in their relationship.

“ even back then I liked those moments. It was really the only time I felt any sort of peace “ he admitted when it came to their early days of bonding. Or had felt so long ago but even when Kaede was at his worst those calm and quiet moments between them at the bar had been healing for him because it allowed Kaede to slow down and just sort of breathe. He could just talk to Layla and they got to know one another more. “ I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what Celeste knows but Theo has been filled in on most things. “ he admitted. “ I wouldn’t want anyone to think there was a weird favoritism thing happening. But I am glad it’s out there and in the open. I have nothing to hide when it comes to us “

“ things hadn’t gone right in my life for a while. Sometimes it’s hard to break the habit” Kaede admitted again when it came to the way he approached everything. His previous thoughts of being hyper aware of everything seemed to be obvious to those around him. “ You also mean a lot to me. I don’t want to screw anything up between us. “

The words leaving his lips had felt so natural and it was because they were. It all had felt like the right moment and he wanted to make sure since the feelings had manifested that he’d reveal them when it felt the most correct. Now that it was out it was like a weight had been lifted. “ I think so. I’d love to go back home with you “ he repeated back before kissing her again. Kaede had never been one for PDA but his own confession and the kisses were proving he was coming a long way from where he’d once been @ponderosus

Layla can't think of a single thing in her life she'd put the same amount of investment in, than she had in this relationship. Completely committed to making sacrifices, exercising patience, and asses her own behavior in life purely because she wanted this to work. There was more than one element to this, beyond the two of them. There was a late marriage, and a child Layla knew had to be the main priority. Happily satiated by the soft music that echoes through the bar, she lets her hands latently run up and down the side of his forearms. "I think the bar was the only space we were ever alone together before everything happened." Until she turned up on his doorstep looking for comfort after her mother had made contact with her. "I was worried that Theo and Celeste might be concerned I was getting preferential treatment. It was probably a good idea they found out." Better to offer the truth than risk rumours and untruths circulating around the workplace.

"I know you are." Kaede often reminded her how grateful he felt, as if there was a seed of worry in the back of his brain concerned she didn't completely believe it. With a soft smile, she leans in to lean her head on his shoulder, finding warmth in the crook Kaede's neck. "But sometimes I worry you're worried that things might suddenly go wrong." Which, all things considered, was understandable. But Layla didn't want Kaede to spend the entire relationship walking on eggshells that might not even exist. "You put a lot of pressure on yourself for someone who is in their first relationship after being a widower."

When she finally hears the words repeated back to her, a weight falls off Layla's shoulders. He meant it, those three words held an equal amount of weight as the ones she offered him. "Are we finished in here? I'd very much like to take you home."

— @kaede-yamada

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles