#nothing has ever made it out of the drive you guys i am TERRIBLE at committing

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Ennoshita isn’t here today.

Kenji sighs and stares, despondent, at the empty armchair where Ennoshita usually sits when he visits. It’s been a few days since he last stopped by, and the withdrawal is starting to take its toll. 

“You know,” says Mai, “you wouldn’t have to sit and wait for him to come around if you had just asked for his number.”

Kenji whips around to scowl at her. “Like you have room to talk. Didn’t you say you were going to ask out Misaki on Tuesday?”

Mai flushes red. “It was bad timing! I wasn’t going to ask her in the middle of the rush hour.”

“She was literally the only one in the shop.”

“Yes, but she was in a rush,” says Mai haughtily. “Hence, it was a rush hour for her.”

Kenji rolls his eyes. “Whatever makes you feel better.”

“I heard the film department had a pretty big project to finish up this week,” Aihara Mao chimes in. “That’s probably why he hasn’t been here. Cheer up, Kenji, I’m sure he’ll be back soon enough.”

“You make me sound obsessed with him,” Kenji grumbles, burying his face in his arms. Honestly, he knows he kind of is. Not obsessed, no, that’s creepy. He’s just . . . incredibly conscious of Ennoshita’s presence and the lack thereof. Observant. Attentive. Vigilant.

Addicted, Jiri had called him once.

“Kogane-kun told me he couldn’t stop staring at you the last time he was here,” Mai says. “You can’t tell me that doesn’t mean something.” 

“Maybe I was having a bad hair day.”

Mai throws up her hands and looks at Mao, her exasperation as clear as the summer sun. “Forget it, he’s hopeless.”

“Hopelessly in loooooove,” Mao sings, and dodges when Kenji chucks a crumpled straw wrapper at her, laughing. “It’s cute, Kenji! It’s nice to know that you’re not all bitter black coffee.”

“I am not!” Kenji protests. “Shirabu is bitter black coffee. I’m a mocha frappuccino with extra chocolate chips, whipped cream, and a caramel drizzle on top.”

“Ennoshita doesn’t like frappuccinos,” points out Mai, unhelpfully. “He always orders a peach green tea when he’s here.”

Like Kenji doesn’t know that. Like he doesn’t know that Ennoshita takes his green tea with less ice and at half the sweetness. Like he doesn’t pay attention when Ennoshita tells him every miniscule detail about his life, from the asshole professor he has on Tuesdays to the stray rabbit his younger cousins adopted. Like Kenji hasn’t catalogued every single moment they’ve ever had together, carefully preserved behind glass cases in his head like a fucking museum of shameless, relentless crushing. 

Okay, so he’s a little bit hopeless. Not that he would ever tell Mai that.

-- an excerpt from ACTION!, an ennofuta college coffeeshop au that's 50% plot and 50% vibes

[allpiesforourown]

Roommate Binghe would absolutely make the most insanely hilarious Reddit thread that’s so out of touch with reality. I can just hear the comments begging him to give the woman he dates a break and just bend over and fuck his roommate already

That thought is literally what inspired this au for me in my head I had this idea of binghe saying "am I the asshole for not picking my BEST FRIEND OF TEN YEARS over a woman I've been dating for two weeks?" And it's one of those aita posts that have a deceptive title because everyone reads that and goes of course not! Then the actual post is this:

"I (21M) met my best friend (22M) when I was 11 and he was 12. I used to be really weak and scrawny back then, and he saw me getting bullied at the playground and became the first person who ever stood up for me. After that he asked his parents to hire my mom and we could finally move out of poverty. She was really sick at the time and getting a better paying job really helped her get better. I'm saying all this to show how important he is to me and why anyone should understand that he'll always be the most important person in the world to me.

He's also a bit sickly. Nothing severe but he has asthma and picks up illnesses way easier than most people, so I often take care of him.

Recently he said he wanted to meet my girlfriend, so I agreed the three of us should have dinner together at a nice restaurant. She was weirdly quiet the whole time, staring at the two of us talk. When we left it was late, and the night air was making him shiver, so I gave gege my jacket. I thought we'd all head our separate ways from there but my girlfriend got super moody and said it was my job to drive her back too?? I said "I'm not making gege walk back because you want me to drive you home" and she was about to yell at me when gege stepped between us and said I can drop her off and then take us home. It was annoying because she lives in the opposite direction but I agreed.

When we got to her apartment, instead of saying thanks and leaving, she said she wants to talk to me. Obviously I didn't want to leave my friend alone in the car, but he just smiled and said I should say goodnight to my girlfriend. He's always very sweet and indulgent to the people I date, to the point it's a little frustrating.

Once we were alone, she blew up at me, claiming I ignored her all evening. She got mad at me, saying that gege was wearing jeans and a full sleeve shirt while she was wearing a short dress and I gave my jacket to him instead. I explained to her that his immune system is weak so if he caught a chill he'd be sick way longer than if she got a cold.

That was our first argument. She got over it in a few days. but I didn't want her around gege anymore lest she said something about me "picking him over her" and made him feel guilty for no reason.

Afterwards she invited me to be her plus one at her cousin's wedding. I said I'd go but just two days before gege got really sick. I said I'd stay with him, but he insisted I go to the wedding and he'd get someone else to look after him. He mentioned this guy who I absolutely hate and that's when I knew I couldn't leave him in anyone else's care.

Gege's friend is a terrible influence on him. He's an idiot with no brain and a creep who clearly wants to take advantage of him. I absolutely could not leave the two of them alone when he was so vulnerable so I refused to leave him alone even for a few hours. Gege was too feverish to remember the wedding after the first day so he didn't say anything about it.

I was so busy taking care of him, I forgot to tell her I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. I didn't bother picking up my phone until gege was back on his feet and saw about 50 missed calls all from her. When I called her back she was screaming so loud, gege could hear her even though she wasn't on speaker. After I hung up on her, he looked so sad and said he was sorry for being the reason I couldn't go. I told him I didn't even want to go and it was just her cousin, but for the last week he's had a perpetual frown on his usually smiling face. I feel so terrible. I want to tell him it's not his fault, of course I'd choose his HEALTH over a date, but he's really beating himself up about it... I hate that I made him feel that way.

Top comment: THAT'S THE PART YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR???? THAT YOUR GEGE FEELS BAD????????? NOT HOW YOU MISTREATED YOUR POOR GIRLFRIEND?????

Second comment: just fuck your best friend instead of making her suffer bro 😭😭

[appleblueberry-pie]

Hello again, I hope you are doing well. I was wondering if you are still open for requests. If so, may I please request for Yandere Nanami wherein his precious captive darling is sick and refuses to be nursed by him

I am 4ever open for requests. I am grateful for the meal. It shall be digested properly.

Let Me Take Care of You.

note: You guys ever been so sick you started crying???

You both knew that this shouldn't go on for any longer. You knew you should've given in a long, long time ago. You've never felt so....terrible from a sickness before. You've never felt this helpless. Weak. But you showing weakness wasn't what destroyed you. You could care less if you looked helpless because the pain and struggle was just that great. You couldn't eat. You could only down liquids and, fuck, you really couldn't speak either. Your lower back hurt. Your arms hurt. Your sides hurt. Your neck hurt. You couldn't rest properly because of the pain. And on top of that, you were extremely fatigued, and dizzy.

During the daytime, you would overheat and even the thinnest shirts with wide-open windows could cool you. But at night, the slightest crack in the window with the millions of blankets you had on top of you couldn't warm you up. It was hell on Earth. And Kento couldn't bare to sit back and watch you struggle any longer. You were his sweetheart. His baby. His everything. And you wouldn't let him help you. It was driving him insane. In the morning, he would watch you move at a snails pace into the kitchen to refill your glass with water. You would avoid eye contact. If he told you good morning, you would reply. But your voice trembled when you spoke, as if it was a task to even make noise. It made him put his newspapers down in extreme concern. But still, you wouldn't let him help you. Take care of you.

It was when he came back for work that he decided he had enough. He thought about it the entire time he was on the clock. He took you in for a reason. He vowed to himself that he would never neglect you and would always take care of you. Yes, he wanted you to be comfortable around him, and yes, he allowed you to set some barriers between the two of you, but you were so sick.

When he walked in the door, all of the lights were off and it was slightly stuffy. The windows were all closed and you obviously didn't eat, seeing the empty kitchen sink with no dirty dishes. He sighs and makes his way to the bathroom. He goes to turn on the light when he hears the soft sound of sobbing from the bedroom. He freezes and turns towards the bedroom door, walking over to sneakily place his ear on it. You're crying. Kento knocks on the door. "Y/n?" Immediately, the sound stops. "Can I come in, please?" You sigh shakily underneath the covers. How the fuck did he hear you? You tell him no. The door creaks open and he softly closes the door behind him.

He walks around to your side of the bed and kneels down to see your puffy face, wet with tears. It breaks his heart knowing he was gone and couldn't comfort you when you were crying like this. "Hey, what's wrong?" He rubs your arm above the blankets and you sniffle. "It's nothing. Please leave me alone." God, you sounded like you were in pain. You could almost see a vein popping out of his neck. You were beginning to stress him out. "Y/n." You shook your head. "No."

His eye twitched and he got into a more comfortable sitting position on the floor. "Sweetie, you know I told you not to keep secrets. Can you please tell me what has you so upset?" It was so painfully obvious what was wrong. There were used tissues scattered on the ground, you had so many blankets, and he could see your sunken in face.

"You're sick."

You used the energy you didn't have to try and turn the other way. You only managed to get yourself onto your back. It was silent between the two of you. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on not crying again, but it was just too much. You didn't want his help. He ruined your life. Kidnapped you, erased your public image, got rid of your phone number. You had nothing but him. You didn't want him. You ignored him. You tried to ignore him. He's right here for you and you just can't help but realize he's quite literally all that you have. It's so humiliating how you have to depend on the only person who you hate that is willingly giving himself to you like this.

A terrible sob rips itself out of your chest and you cover your face with your hands, a migraine reappearing at the strain you place on yourself once more. "I know I'm sick. I fucking know!" You couldn't even properly yell at him, too tired to even try. He frowns, and kneels on the floor, closer to the edge of the bed. "Then why don't you let me take care of you?" He wants to wipe your face of the tears, wipe the sweat off of your forehead. Feel you again. But he's scared he'll stress you out even more.

His hand almost hovers over your face as you cry. Your sad sigh of pain gives him the courage he needs to gently bring the back of his index finger over your face. He wipes a tear that falls down your cheek before bringing his other hand to wipe the other side completely. You let him. His touch was so very gentle. As if he didn't want to scare you away. "I can take care of you...." I am capable, he wanted to add that on. He loved you so much. He would rather fight a thousand curses before seeing you in this state again. He will do almost anything for you. Anything to see you happy. See you smile. He wanted to be fully yours. And he will do anything to prove that to you. Your eyes flutter open when he's done and you look over at him sadly.

Your eyes, so beautiful and beguiling, give him the softest look he's ever gotten from you. It makes his heart skip a beat and he sits up straighter. He would smile at you, but now is obviously not the time for that. "How do you feel? Do you want me to bring you medicine? Are you still in pain?" You look away before making eye contact with him again and nodding. He nods back and responds, "Okay. I will bring you some medicine and more water to drink." He wipes stray hairs off of your face, realizing how much you had to neglect yourself to rest. "I will make you beef stew, as well. You might be hungry, and your body needs energy to survive. I won't let you drink just water. Hopefully you will finish it all, and by then, maybe I could get you cleaned up, if you allow me to." You stare at him silently. He was offering to help you get better. You honestly don't remember the last time anyone has done that for you. But even then, he was still your kidnapper. Still, though, what were you going to do, say no? You hesitate before nodding to him. His face finally softens and he caresses your cheek one more time before forcing himself to stop.

"I love you." A weight is lifted off of his chest when he says those words. He wanted to say it to you in a better moment, but any moment is a good moment rather than when it's too late. He doesn't let you respond and gets up to leave and make you stew, a new fervor in his stride.

[0mysticmidnight0]

~Mystically Broken AU - Chapter 1~

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You trembled as the taxi took you to a dark street, filled with crime. Robbery, Arson, right in the day light. You felt nervous. The taxi stopped at the tallest building. Once you left the taxi and entered the building, you turned around to glance at the Taxi, two people robbed the driver.. You hurried to your destination. You enter the Elevator, hopping nothing wrong happens.

~Flash Back~

You sat in your boss's office, expecting your paycheck for the month. She looked at you rather nervously. "As you know, our company has been slowly crumbling, we've been losing clients and we haven't been strengthening any business ties. Luckily! We have a few people wiling to help us, under a few conditions." You glanced at her nervously. "Who are these people exactly?" She gulped and looked away, She wasn't usually this cautious. You were worried. "You'll find out soon! They arranged a meeting for us to discuss the terms and conditions. You are coming with me since you are our top employee and one of our representatives!" She smiles enthusiastically. It felt odd, you wanted to know more about them. But you felt like she'd avoid the question. "That's great.." You smiled nervously. Why did your fellow representative have to be sick on THIS day?! You knew you should've spent more time in bed..

~Present~

You gulped as you tapped the button on the elevator. The top floor. The elevator door shut loudly. Who were these people? Why was this place so shady and creepy. You had the feeling that whoever your boss made a contract with isn't really a nice guy. The elevator made an abrupt stop as it opened. You walk out of the elevator and looked around. The floor was glass and it looked like an aquarium? You couldn't see any fish until you saw a.. robot shark.. then another and another.. The room was dimly lit and looked up to see the city's four most wanted criminals and your boss looking at you. "You made it!" your boss's voice muffled you were too in shock and you looked at the four criminals infront of you. "Let's get this over with, my time will not be wasted by your incompetence." Donatello, Mechanical genius, One of the smartest and deadly criminals due to his understanding of technology. He creates deadly weapons that cause mass destruction. it was rumored he uses petty criminals for his experiments.. Who am i kidding, he probably does. He glared you down like he couldn't tolerate your presence. "Donnie, stop your growling. You're gonna scare away the prey." Leonardo, One of if not the person with highest bodycount. He's killed hundreds, thousands to get what he wants. But he always manages to hide the evidence. One of the best Manipulaters. He's hard to catch, people say he just vanishes. He nudges his twin while laughing. He looks at you like he wanted to devour you whole. "Why don't you idiots shut up! Don't listen to them."

Raphael, a literal tank that could take hundreds of people at once. The strongest when it came to raw strength and battle strategy. If you ever cross him or do something that upsets him, prepare to deal with his terrible and DEADLY temper. He glared at Donatello and Leonardo as they shut their mouths. You hear a voice from behind you.. You gasped when you saw who it was. "Well, don't you look fun?"

MichelAngelo, The best at deceiving others and persuading them to do his bidding. He locks people up for fun and calls them his playthings. He kills anyone who steps in his way. He commits daily vandalism. He wouldn't kill anyone right away, he'd slowly drive them to the brink of insanity because it's fun to watch them fall apart. What had your boss gotten you into?! "Now, take a seat. Cynthia here tells us you have experience addressing crowds and dealing with rumors about your company. Dealing with any evidence regarding your companies misdeeds." It was true you were the one dealing with false rumors and false evidence.. That's how you became one of the representatives. But you had a gut feeling they were gonna take advantage of that. "I have been the one dealing with those issues but that was because they were mostly false! I can't defend something when i know it's wrong." You wanted to stand your ground. That was a bad choice. you turned to your side and gulp. There was a sword or katana.. an odachi. There was an odachi to your neck. "All of us have to do things we don't want to do to survive in this cruel world. Do as we say and we'll keep our end of the deal, alright?" Your boss, Cynthia just looks at you nervously, her gaze telling you to accept their condition. "Or we'll have to slowly destroy you one by one.. " His laugh echoing through the room. "Make this quick so i don't have to spend another moment with these imbeciles." you gulped and slowly nodded as you still felt the Odachi's sharp end to your throat. "We need you to destroy all criminal records. No matter how many times i delete it from the governments system, the people of new york still spread these awful rumors. who knew word of mouth could be so, infuriating. we need you to-"

"Ughh.. Donnie! English!" "Just get to the point already!" "I was JUST getting to that. We need you to accompany us to some governmental parties this year. They host four parties each year. One of us will accompany you and we need you to speak for us and claim our innocence." "But you aren't innocent! I-" You felt the Odachi go closer to your throat. "Hold your tongue." "Precisely, Complaints of the people to the government make us a target. So much so that they arranged an elite super force or a group of highly trained professionals after us." "We ain't getting anythin' done when we knows a buncha' creeps watchin' us!" "Do you think you can get the job done? It is pretty fun!" Your boss looked at you apologetically.

You nodded and the Odachi was pulled away and you took a sigh of relief.. What did you get yourself into.?

[boxboxblog]

2024 Abu Dhabi GP: Winners and Losers

Alright everyone, I will dive into my winners and losers podiums for this race. Remember, no hate to any driver they are all extremely talented, but I will be honest about their performance.

Let's go!

Winners:

Lando Norris

You would think I might put McLaren here seeing as it was the team who won the title not just Norris, but it is specifically due to the drivers results today that they even won. With Piastri getting knocked back to the midfield due to a collision with Verstappen, Norris needed to win the race in order to keep Ferrari from clinching it. He drove a calm and collected race, even with Carlos Sainz not too far off his tail, and dominated from the beginning. This race really showed how Norris has matured as a driver over the season. He went from the guy who lost pole almost every single time he hit turn one to the driver who kept it, and the lead, for the entire race. Clean, calm, cool. Very good job Lando Norris.

2. Charles Leclerc

So this 2nd place finish on my winners podium has nothing to do with the results in the WDC and WCC standings. Ferrari lost that, and Leclerc was only able to stay in 3rd for the WDC due to Norris' win. This has everything to do with the absolutely brilliant drive from Leclerc today, going from P19 to finish in 3rd. Genuinely thought this was going to be terrible for him due to how sideways his quali went and the penalty that sent him to the back, but he had already made it up 11 positions by the time the first lap was finished, and spent the rest of the race slowly picking off drivers until he made it to the podium. His overtakes were clean, calculated, and aggressive. His wheel-to-wheel was flawless, and his tire management was killer. While he did benefit from the chaos of the first turn with Piastri and Verstappen, there were no other factors that helped him out. No safety car, no rain, not many DNFs of cars ahead of him. This was a climb made on skill. Truly one of the best performances we have ever seen from Leclerc and perhaps the best performance of the day.

3. Lewis Hamilton

Another driver who was able to crawl up high after a terrible quali sent him to the back of the grid (p16 I believe?). He also took advantage of the first lap chaos to climb higher, but then pulled up to 4th with pure pace alone. He had brilliant overtakes, remained levelheaded and smart, and was even able to pass his teammate who had started much higher on the grid than he did. This race just shows the levelheaded skill that Hamilton has, and should put to rest any whispers that the 7x WDC has 'lost it'. Fantastic to see a good result from Hamilton for his last race with Mercedes, and a brilliant drive to watch. I am very excited to see him and Leclerc partner at Ferrari for next year.

Runner Ups: Pierre Gasly (getting Alpine 6th) Nico Hulkenberg (getting Haas 7th), and Lance Stroll (for some great overtakes)

Losers:

Liam Lawson

Everything that could go wrong did go wrong for Lawson today. He started out strong, pulling his car into the points and keeping ahead of his teammate for the first time in a while, but tragedy soon struck. Lawson went in to pit, and when he came back out one of the tires was loose. This meant he had to pit again to fix this, effectively losing all the positions to drop to the back. Then he was handed a ten second stop and go penalty for unsafe release into the pit lane after almost colliding with another car, and so he had to come back into the pits again. Then toward the end of the race, they had to retire the car due to the engine smoking in the late laps. It was like watching Charles Leclerc's 2022 season encapsulated in one race; pure tragedy. A shame for Lawson, but mostly out of his control.

2. Oscar Piastri

The only reason Piastri is not my number one loser is the fact that McLaren did still win the constructors title, even with the mess that was his race. Most expected a McLaren front row lockout, but when Piastri was knocked by Verstappen off track, he fell all the way to the back and spent the entire race trying to make it back up. But then his collision with Colapinto (which caused the Argentinian driver to eventually DNF) handed him a ten second penalty, which made his job even harder. He only managed to make it up to one point, and he must have thanked God Norris won or every finger would have pointed at him for losing the title. Not a great day for him, even if much of it was out of his control.

3. George Russell

You would think someone who started in 7th and ended in 5th would not be on my losers podium but honestly, he had to be. Russell did not have a good race, dropping in pace until eventually Leclerc was able to undercut him with a pit, not covering that undercut off, dropping back from Leclerc as the race continued, and then eventually being passed by his teammate who has started a little less than ten places behind him. For any driver, this would be incredibly frustrating. But for Russell it might be even more so, as he has a point to prove with Hamilton leaving the team and designating him as the lead driver for Mercedes. Not great results.

Runner Ups: Max Verstappen (uninspiring race, and a collision he caused), Alex Albon (dropping out of the points once more), and Carlos Sainz (if he had caught Norris Ferrari would have won)

DNF Graveyard: Kevin Magnussen, Valtteri Bottas, Sergio Perez, Liam Lawson, Franco Colapintio, Ferrari's WCC Dreams.

Cheers,

-B

[ihateapbiology]

salt In the wound

You’re Juliens girlfriend and watching the boys make out during salt in the wound hurts.

You doom scrolled on twitter watching all the live videos of the boys at the end of salt in the wound. You felt literal pains in your heart every time you watched your girlfriend lock lips with either Phoebe or Lucy. It had been every week you saw this, while you only saw your girlfriend while she was on tour like once a month. You had been with her for four years, and always felt secured and loved but it just hurt and damn it you felt insecure. At least she was coming home tomorrow you assured yourself. You texted her when the show was done and called her to congratulate her about the end of tour.

“I’m so so proud of you baby I’ll let you go drive to the hotel but I’m so excited to see you tomorrow.” You softly say. ””I couldn’t have done it without you my love you’re my rock. I love you.” She says time zones away.

As you hang up you can’t stop yourself from spiraling. What even were you to her, what differentiated you from her friends, you love her more than she loves you, she’s going to leave you. You feel yourself quickly spiraling and try to calm yourself. You have a restless night.

You’re woken up by kisses peppering your face. Julien. “My love.” She coos.

Your eyes light up and you pull her into a hug “you’re home. You’re really home. I love you.”

That’s when your eyes fall onto her neck, the hickeys still there and you feel your heart break even more

”Hey hey what’s wrong?” she says confused.

“Nothing.” You say shortly not wanting to feel overdramatic.

“Honey I can tell it’s something look at me” she softly says.

“It’s just….god I’m gonna sound so whiney.” You mumble.

“Sweetheart just tell me.”

“I’m your girlfriend, not Phoebe or Lucy, I am.” you softly start.

“I know…?” She says confused.

“But you guys kiss and make out just like we do. So I just…idk what separates me from them if anything.”

You refuse to make eye contact and immediately feel terrible. Who were you to tell her what she can and cannot do with her friends?

“I’m sorry that was stupid never mind.” You quickly modify.

“Hey no I’m just…love…you’re my life partner. You’re who I want to cultivate a life with. I don’t have sexual or romantic attraction towards them when I kiss them it’s not how I feel when I kiss you babe. I kiss them sure out of love but that love is completely different from our love. I don’t view you just as someone to kiss or touch, you’re my girlfriend for more than that so kissing someone else to me in a non romantic way has never felt like it undermining our relationship.” she says as she gently caresses your hair. “You’re my girl. Not only my best friend but the person I want to wake up to everyday. I love you so so so deeply it’s a love I have for no other. I love Phoebe the same way I love Lucy but I love no one else like you.”

You are at a loss for words real quick. Wow. “Thank you thank you for not undermining how I felt.” you say choking back tears. “I’ve just missed you so much and..I just don’t want to lose you…I didn’t want you to realize you didn’t need me or something.”

“Hey sweet girl, I’m never leaving you ever. We made it through tour, that proves my point. I missed you too everyday but now we’re here together.” She kisses the tip of your nose and you smile. “There’s that beautiful smile.”

“Come into bed?” You smile moving over to your side happy to be sharing the bed once more.

She immediately cuddles up to you.

“Ew you smell like airport.” you giggle into her chest.

“Mmm you love it.” She jokingly holds her sleeve up to your nose.

“No but I do love you.” You grin.

“I love you too sweetheart.”

You turn off the light and are about to go to sleep when she says “oh and tomorrow I’ll make sure to show you another major difference between my love for my friends and for you” and teasingly runs her hand up your leg.

[casualgay-mer]

Keymaster appreciation post

There's something to be said about his initial design and I will say this something. We are taking the original game as an example, but will touch on the remaster too.

The design

How the fuck did Poki do it? How can you make a character that looks like an absolute dork AND kinda intimidating at the same time? I tell you how, but before that - let's examine these two faces.

Unfortunately, Poki clearly had a trouble with the Keymaster staying on model, I call the first version "squarey" (you can see this version of his face during the first dialogue and during KM wait in the truck) and the second's "long-ey" (you can see this one everywhere else) but I will say that I generally prefer the second version - the long face one.

Why? The look is a bit more human and not "I don't have no fucking eyelids", the eyebrows are so much prominent, which adds to the look, and the bang is a bit longer.

So what's so cool and actually funny about his design?

He combines two archetypes: a general creep (sick (not in a cool way) eye and skin colors (dude may wanna check his liver tho), an indication of sunken eyes, the stache) and a coolass emoboy (this fucking haircut, smug talk, drama). Like these two guys fused together:

Like dude what the fuck

Also his skin color is fucking sickening you know why? Ever tried to rub your skin along - say - shoulder? Ever got these partricles of dead skin? Have you ever saw what color does it get, when you accumulate it enough in your hand?

That's right! They are morbidly greay-ishly green. Exact hue of his skin. THE DUDE HAS SO MUCH DEAD SKIN - ppls kinda shed - ON HIS BOD IT MIGHT AS WELL BE 20% of his body weight.

The voice/s

Original VA for Keymaster goes for a top notch mix of freako and smug. He sounds both flirtatious and a biiit unstable, like a person who tries their best to hit you up but clearly haven't slept for like 3 days - the tone and mannerisms are all over the place, the voice itself is the perfect balance of semi-deep and whispery. I love this performance - it confuses you into whether or not can you trust the guy . An original performance and the one to be respected.

(sorry for the little snippet of another voice at the end - this let's player doesn't know how to shut up and I am too lazy to record it again from a different source)

Russian VA for Keymaster - who based his performance off the original one - DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD?? Dat voice is deep as FUCK, thicc even, you can't call the voice "thicc" but this one just IS. The whispery part is gone absolutely, KM sounds kinda normal even, but holy shit did the VA turned it up to 100. This one is a favourite of mine, absolutely. I don't even give a shit about what he says, this is some ASMR shit. Absolute 0 wonder why he tricked most of russian let's players into actually trusting him. The only criticism I may ha

English VA went to the opposite direction of the spectrum, he went all fancy kind of dracula over the top performance, kinda like, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY and while he does sound unhinged, there is no doubt he's a sicko actually. That, or just a theater kid. But no shame on this actor tho, just bc I don't really like this particular performance, doesn't mean it's TERRIBLE ok?

Basicly I made a chart:

Go with your preference of choice, my dudes.

The personality and motives

Holy fucking shit so hear me out.

I don't like him around the fact that he's a flity pretty possible serial killer.

I like him for the fact of being RESENTFUL about it, possibly hating it about himself.

When he killed the pastor it clearly was made on impulse, and he hated it so much that he locked himself - and therefore Edna - up. Despite the smarts he's clearly impulsive in nature - like getting off to drive a Dr's car ABSOLUTELY NOT KNOWING HOW TO and ONLY THINKING AFTER THE FACT, there is like nothing going on in this head.

I am not excusing the guy's actions, but there is a big chance he just went a full on Sam Gordon just with no curse involved.

...

HOLY SHIT IS KEY MASTER A BLACK MIRROR REFERENCE

THE FIVE KEYS SAM HAS TO FIND, THE SURROUNDINGS, THE "OOPS FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL PPL I HAVE ISSUES I HATE MYSELF *commits a sewer side*" AND THE LOOKS?

Okay I am just overthinking it at this point. BUUUT THIS GAME WAS MADE IN GOOD OLD 2003 AND PRETTY BELOVED IN GERMANY AND WE HAVE WALKING REFERENCES LIKE PROFESSOR NOK SOOOOOOOO

...

So anyways.

The conculsion

Key Master is great not because he's your stereotypical mass murderer POS. There is a lot of unpack and a lot of empathy to be felt if you try to think on how come he ended up the way he did.

He actively hates himself and doesn't enjoy the way he is which is - unfortunately - preeeetty much deserved.

I will write more abt the dude later - especially on my fav theory that says he's not real

[justagalwhowrites]

It’s interesting how people see things so differently. Like with Tommy, to me their wedge isn’t because Joel wanted control to protect Tommy. To me it was because Tommy had a bit of a hero complex and thought joining the fireflies would make him feel like the hero again. (He was a soldier which can say a lot, also the reason he was in jail that night was bc he punched a guy to help a waitress and it also wasn’t his first time in jail either. Joel had to bail him out multiple times.)

Tommy did hate what they had to do to survive and they did have a big fight but he left because he wanted more than “just” survival and Marlene made the fireflies look good, like the good guys. so he joined them. But then he just ended up killing people with the fireflies and once he realised that he left again lol

Seeing as Joel had to bail Tommy out multiple times, it definitely gives you the feeling that Joel had to take care of Tommy a lot. Plus Tommy works for/with him so he took care of him in that way too. Obviously nobody knows because nothing was ever shown but i can imagine Joel did shitty things to make sure his little brother is okay, just like he did for Ellie. Joel does anything for the people he cares about.

Obviously having that thrown in his face and Tommy running off to join a terrorist group is gonna cause a wedge between them.

And then Tommy dropping off the face of the earth, not contacting him again and Joel later finding out he’s been safe and perfectly fine in Jackson? Yeah that’s a slap to the face. There’s definitely ways Tommy could’ve let Joel know that he’s safe and in Jackson but he just didn’t. And then obviously bad talking Joel to Maria while Tommy himself has done terrible things? Tommy didn’t want Joel to be in his life anymore and definitely not in Jackson.

Anyway this is my long Tommy is actually an asshole rant lmao

Also, with Tess. I honestly don’t think Joel wanted to love her. In the game the only indication was that they had some tiny flirty dialogue and that’s it. I know everyone now takes the show as canon but in the game, tess doesn’t even say that “I never asked you to feel like that” or whatever. They survived together, they trusted each other, they were partners and friends. It doesn’t always have to mean or be more than that. obviously the show tried to do some dramatic romance and feelings shit but it just wasn’t there lol

Plus we know Joel didn’t really date much before the world ended either, he was a single dad for Sarahs entire life and heavily focused on work and his daughter. Clearly romance wasn’t a huge part of his life, so why would it be after the end of the world and losing his entire family?

Thanks for coming to my ted talk about unpopular the last of us opinions lmao

Hi Bestie!

I love this interpretation! It's actually not really off from what I think of Tommy, too, actually! I just think his hero complex really clashes with Joel's drive to protect him. I don't think Joel CONSCIOUSLY wants to control Tommy, I just think he feels safest when he has control and/or has a good lock on someone's motivations. Tommy wanting to play hero puts him at risk and I imagine Joel pushed back on that really, really hard quite a bit. But yeah, Tommy just fucking off to Wyoming made me so mad lol (which is part of the reason for the Tommy arc in Lavender) But I think can also be at least partially explained by Tommy and Joel clashing more and more as years went by in the QZ, with Tommy getting more and more pissed off by FEDRA and wanting to lean into his hero instincts and Joel not able to shake the fear of his brother getting himself killed.

I will say, my Joels are definitely a lot more based on show Joel than game Joel! I have watched game playthroughs (I am... very bad at video games lol) but HBO Joel is definitely my man. Though yeah, his relationship with Tess in the game was definitely more ambiguously flirty than an unambiguously romantic relationship of any kind. But I don't think his lack of a romantic life immediately pre-outbreak is a fair indication of what he wants in general. Single fatherhood and working a ton of hours means you're going to limit your social life. He was clearly interested in romantic - or at least sexual - attachment at one time because Sarah exists.

That being said, I certainly don't think he'd show up to the QZ and be like "priority one: find a girlfriend." But I do think it's reasonable that he'd stumble into it eventually, either through a smuggling contact he got closer to than he intended or just a woman he was sleeping with because hey, sex!, that became something more.

This has been so fun! I hope this has shed some light on how I write Joel because I've thought a lot about this stuff over the last year. I love hearing your thoughts, thank you so much for sharing!!

Love you!

[voidsentprinces]

Poison frog toxic red flag murder dragon, I never play or write about?

Hey. Hey hey tell me about them. Theyre cute as fuck I wanna know more about em.

DO NOT CUTE THE POISON FROG TOXIC RED FLAG MURDER DRAGON!

Ladies, Gentlemen, and the Eldritch Beings Beyond the Mortal Comprehension of Mankind:

Meet Envy, full title: Invidia Leviathan Tepes, Prince of Envy (for redundancy)

Amongst all the Gods, Demons, and Villains I have ever created, he is the A B S O L U T E W O R S T. I am not even going to list it. Think of something bad. He's done it. He is against the Geneva Accords. Everything from minor infractions like shop lifting to being one of the reasons THERE ARE NO LONGER ANY GODS BEYOND DEATH NOW (in writing lore that is).

He is the only Voidsent Prince who is actually the Original Sin incarnate. He is selfish to extreme, is murder happy, will use, abuse, and toss away anyone and anything he wants. Literally believes the world revolves around him and anything to the contrary needs to be IMPALED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!

You were born.

Congrats.

You were born to worship and serve him. If you are not doing any of those two things. You deserve to die or be tortured for doing either of those two things too little, too much, or even perfectly fine but he's bored of you now, DIE NOW AND SAVE HIM THE INCONVIENCE OF KILLING YOU, THANKS!

He enters the story coiled around the heart of a Goddess who consuming her divinity himself. While driving her completely mad with jealousy which leads to the First Twilight of the Gods. Because the First God got bored one day, I shit you not. Due to taking the divinity of a deity for himself. He grows from a small snake into The Leviathan. His second act after being torn out of said Goddess's chest by her sister is to bite the hand of the Goddess of Light and tumble down from the heavens onto the mortal plane. Where he spends the rest of his time strangling the world with the length of his body and killing anything that thinks to sail on his seas. When he is eventually drop kicked into Hell. He is then forced by Death to go from a primordeal draconic being who is the length of the seven seas and two oceans to a humanoid you see before you. Leaving his tail behind to envy what he once was. Despite the downsizing, aforementioned, its done nothing to curb his ego and he has decided being punished like this is NOW EVERYONES PROBLEM!

Actively hates living things and use to cause earthquakes and tsunamis on a whim to wipe out anyone who settled too close to the oceans he thought he fucking owned.

Does he take a moment to reflect that maybe doing any of this will make people hate him in the short term and try and hunt him down in the long term? HAHAHA!

NO!

Aforementioned, ya not serving his whims or if you bore him, he do not give a fuck about repercussions. He's the edgy dude who never grew out of the edge phase is just 2 cool for school. If that guy got his hands on the strength and power to force people under his heel. Actively is immortally youthful, strong enough to fight off entire armies, the ability to generate water and cause earthquakes at a whim. Gilgamesh before he met Enkidu, but if meeting Enkidu made him even worse and he learned nothing of humility and shrugged off Enkidu's death.

I don't write him cause he is just...a walking trigger warning and that makes me uncomfortable. I would change him, but like...the cast NEEDS like that one (1) absolute bastard character. Irredeemable, unbashedly terrible on every level, is the reason people probably started to write down war crimes and formed rules around: Maybe we shouldn't do these bad things during combat actually...lets set up rules.

Not that he'd follow them. You kidding? Telling HIM what to do? The gall!

Anyway, here have his theme while you're here:

[pleuvoire]

ok since i can't draw my ultra/host ocs i will just talk about them. they don't have names because i am lousy at coming up with oc names like that is the least important part of the process to me. also i'm a bit self-conscious about how i accidentally just made "zero and leito but they both suck like 50% more" however i hope it is still original enough for you to enjoy

host guy is a deadbeat dad in his 40s in the middle of ongoing divorce proceedings at the time of the story. he works at the defense team organization but he's not actually on the defense team, he just has a desk job doing like administrative or resource management stuff. he's kind of shitty and cringe but not like a terrible guy. there's not much else to say about him

ultra is a haughty and arrogant young (but not that young) warrior with a predominantly blue design involving gracefully curving lines. he's like a warrior-poet type of guy who thinks that fighting is just one of the many ways to achieve the heights of elegance and perfection of form and the fierce rush of being alive. he's very cultured but only about alien culture, he thinks humans are insects beneath his notice and he fights kaiju out of warrior's pride instead of heroic instinct. but of course, he has a character development arc about this and eventually ends up as the "good guy hero but tsundere about it" archetype. *listening to beethoven* "hmph... maybe humans are good for something." he's like a giant shitty cat in many ways. main weapon is a fancy spear.

the two of them became bonded when host guy was in the area of a monster fight chasing after the defense team trying to warn them they were out of ammo because a delivery of it was late, or something, and had the misfortune to get hit by a meteor. except it wasn't a meteor! it was our ultra guy, wounded and crashing to earth, and they are now bonded accidentally! ultra guy is very mad about this but he doesn't have the strength to regain his own body outside of 3-minute kaiju fights so he's stuck like this. host guy is none too pleased about being stuck with a giant shitty space cat in his brain either. as part of their bond ultra guy can sort of astral project and walk around his host's surroundings in an incorporeal form that only his host can see and hear and touch. this astral projection can vary from human size to sit-outside-your-host's-apartment-building-using-the-roof-as-an-armrest size (it's okay because people just walk right through him). in this astral projection form he also has no sense of personal space and is constantly touching and sitting on and leaning on his host which drives his host insane because if he tries to shove him off he will look weird shoving at nothing. however despite all this touching they are not actually gay for each other and they are basically just a guy and his shitty cat from space.

their relationship goes from constant bickering to a kind of grudgingly heartwarming bond. ultra guy's fierce love for the beauty of heart-pounding fighting and his disdain for host guy's sad narrow joyless life eventually inspires host guy to enjoy the world around him and broaden his horizons a little more, and of course being bonded with host guy inspires ultra guy to have the classic antihero arc as i mentioned before. they grow to care about each other but they will never ever admit it. it's cute

the actual defense team are all supporting characters but i don't feel like thinking too hard about them right now. when they find out host guy is ultraman (about a third of the way through the show) they invite him to join them but he doesn't because he's lazy and undisciplined. but he still keeps working with them as ultraman so it's an odd sort of relationship

[trans-yllz]

sage! also orchid and mahonia. btw do you have a chenqing keychain charm or am I thinking of someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?:

I think that music is the kind of art that touches my soul the most, tho visual art is probably what inspires my Own visual art the most and writing like poetry and stories in any form can have profound lasting affects myself as a person (like there's characters that I will just always take with me forever and who helped me through times in my life as silly as that sounds) and writing is one of the ways I am most easily able to get things out of me and express specific emotions and experiences but there's nothing that makes me feel quite like music does and there's nothing that connects me to other ppl like music does. music is one of the things that connects me most to one of my best friends and is such a special cornerstone of our relationship. there is nothing in the world like creating music w other ppl even if you are just singing in the kitchen with your best friend. there's that one quote abt humans always making music and how in the bad times we will be singing about the bad times and like yeah. Yeah. my mom always played a lot of music growing up and my dad used to play the guitar w me and my sister sang me to sleep when I was little so I just think it's always been a big part of my life and I think choir is one of the only reasons I got through middle school lmao. anyway there's just nothing like hearing a song and it filling your whole body hope this helps

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?:

CANDY BY THE BLASTING COMPANY it is such a beautiful song both lyrically, instrumentally, and melody wise. I still get chills every time I listen to it and everyone I've ever shown it to regardless of their usual music taste has thought it was beautiful. the ending especially makes me akshmcuakshyaijsj. its also really fun and lovely to sing! their other song old summer reckoning is very beautiful as well (it reminds me of wei wuxian and wen qing lmao). they're the band that did the music for over the garden wall if you ever watched it!

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?:

well obviously stories inspire me to make things.. I make my little drawings and I write my little posts about my favorite little guys. but one of the driving forces for me to make art Not related to media is just experiencing a strong emotion esp about a specific experience or person and I like to express it w poetry and visual art and combining those two things when I can. I made this piece after one of my rats died (I was having an already terrible week but I don't remember why lmao) and after coming to the vet with me my best friend came back to my apartment and helped me clean my disgusting room and washed all of my dishes for me and it was just such a profound act of love I had to get it out of my body. I have another poem I wrote that I haven't made art for yet after my dad took care of me after top surgery. I guess rlly what inspires me most is love for other ppl and things as cheesy as that sounds

also yes I do have a chenqing keychain!! it's a tiny replica of the flute and then I got a Different keychain that was the little charm on it and put them together hehe

[taxfraudhousewife]

might i rest in your hands a while and soak up all your light

might i drink the sweat from your palms and the blood from your hangnails

only for a moment

might i hear you scold me for giving up

might your words be fierce with fire and put fire back in me

if i read and learned and hoped and prayed

would i even find you

some internet people are saying the whole israel thing is driving the masses to revert

seemingly normal internet people talking about how they read the quran

it makes me think the price will be high

equal if not more

i know there’s not a finite number of muslims that can exist at the same time

still isn’t there

what if in a hundred years the masses revert

in exchange for forty thousand palestinians

what if it has to be more to buy the masses

what if there really is an order to things

no i am not converting to replace your weight in the islamic equilibrium

thought about it considered it realized i’m being fucking crazy

if you were here if i converted you’d be pissed off at me

say you’re not muslim jesus and you don’t hear my prayers

still the thought of buying future muslims with current muslims is terrifying and fills me with dread

that an order exists and it’s cruel and inconsistent

i hope it means nothing

it does mean nothing unless you can buy current lives with future ones

maybe they mean your god will reward someone (???) for enduring (???) genocidal carnage

by making more random muslims (???)

that’s a can of worms

one that leaves me incredibly grateful i’ve only learned how to worship men

at least plain ol men can’t be blamed for allowing (????) ethnic cleansings to happen on their property

at least on that big a scale

i’ve been kind of a muslim weeb lately

it’s a joke but now it’s getting weird

you’d think its weird

like i keep saying inshallah in russian sentences

and every time i think how if you could hear me you’d roll your fuckin eyes

and call me stupid

i don’t know why i’m obsessed

you muslims are curb stomping my heart

i broke up with the iraqi girl

i think your god made us to torture each other

it was november and i wanted to ask you what to do

half of my decision was prompted by israel

i think the other half was just what happens when you’re far away

only i could watch a genocide and feel sorry for myself

when the bombs fell the shrapnel tore open a scab on my lip

i couldn’t stop the bleeding (never could)

all i could taste was burning skin and wet steel

unwelcome alcohol and terrible adults

i longed for the comfort of you

and sought it in her

you fuckin muslims know how to chew up a fuckin heart

you muslims you men you humans

starting to think IM the problem

you men and girls and dead will turn me inside out and tear me to shreds

it’s down my throat back in my chest where it belongs except it’s different this time

it just hurts without the righteous angry enthusiasm

it’s just going crazy in my room at night

i’m so angry

but in the bad way like the way i’m not supposed to be

in the way that the angry boy who won’t answer the phone is always simmering

did you used to be that too

what did you do how did you stop being a boy how did you man the fuck up

cause i can’t

i miss you dog

i’m trying so hard to be like you

you’re everything i could ever dream of being

you’re so fuckin cool

i can’t replace you in the islamic equilibrium

no one can i know it doesn’t have to be me

i wished it hard

but still if i can’t be like you then what the fuck is anything

deadass i think a lot of happy hopeful thoughts when i think about you

i think you’d like that

got me dreaming about glorious revolution and shit

and garlic nang and you in your truck in the wild west

my toga is so fuckin cool

i sing it to myself

to mushu i tell him your toga asaan was a smart ass guy

he was a socialist and he read books and shit

would it be crazy if i named my first born after you

would i be setting them up for failure with a name like that

it’s crazy and stupid and not a name for me to give

i know

still i relish the idea of people asking why my heir has such a strange name

and telling them he’s named after an esteemed and accomplished anti imperialist activist

cause i can’t say you were good cause that’s basic and i would cry

i’m not man enough to replace that goodness

you can’t replace a guy who saved actual lives and also drank too much nyquil

if you were here i’d bully you for it forever

i’d never shut the fuck up i still never shut the fuck up about it

just incase you can hear me bullying you

you fuckin harami ass i see you now

i hope to giggle with you over our addictions one day

i hope to try hashish with you i hope to watch you hit a fifty nic disposable for the first time

to drink too much with you and ask you what you think of nine eleven

i don’t need to ask everything but at least that

and maybe a summary of what you were really getting into

[irishhills]

sticks

Last night, Chris promised Eliza he’d spend some time with Luke and tell him about the party. He was never going to tell Luke about Eliza making out with Tall Steve, and not even because it’s inconsequential. He knows it’ll break Luke’s heart no matter who he’s going out with in college, and Chris would rather not do that to his brother. But he did promise Eliza he’d talk to Luke about the party. She just didn’t make him promise what he’d say, and he didn’t know he’d have such a story to tell.

They drive into the Irish Hills, the only place to be on a day like this, when the sun is out and the slush has finally gone away. Luke tells Chris a little about Maddie, the older woman he’s been dating for the past three weeks.

“She’s already taken the MCAT,” Luke says. “She wants to go to Michigan for med school, but she knows it’s a longshot. I don’t think it is for her, though. She’s a junior already, and she’s never been off the Dean’s List.”

“She’s a junior?” Chris asks.

“Yeah.”

“So, she’s twenty-one?”

“She will be in July. Why? What’s the matter with that? I’m nineteen. Guys are at their sexual peak at nineteen. That’s what Maddie likes about me!”

“I’m gonna go throw up behind a tree.”

“Oh, grow up. We’re only a year and a half apart. That’s a smaller gap than me and …”

He can’t even finish Eliza’s name. He can barely get out the first syllable. Chris steps back while Luke picks up a twig and throws it as far as he can. All those years of football must have paid off because he throws it pretty far. Chris can’t believe he’s a little impressed.

“Well, you know,” Luke mutters. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how old I am, or how old Maddie is. I like her, and I think she likes me.”

“Sure,” Chris says. “She’ll like you till she can’t take you out with her anymore.”

By the expression on Luke’s face, Chris can tell this is something he’s thought about before, too. And of course he has. Luke thinks of all the details. It’s Chris who misses them.

“I could strangle you, you know,” Luke says. “I could strangle you in the woods.”

“You could, but you won’t,” Chris says. “Nothing that would ruin your chances of getting into medical school. Murder’s pretty high on that list.”

“Is anyone really above fratricide?”

“I don’t know. Cain was ready, willing, and A-B-E-L. Is that anything? Is that funny?”

“Nah, but Blair would probably laugh.”

Chris’s stomach drops. In the past ten minutes, he’d managed to almost completely forget about Blair. At least, he’d almost completely forgotten about Blair from last night. Now all he can feel are her knees around him … something he’d barely noticed while they were there but missed terribly once they were gone. She said they were fine, they were still best friends, she still liked him … but he hasn’t felt right in almost twenty-four hours. Maybe he never will.

“Hey, Blair and I made out last night,” he says.

Luke furrows his brow.

“So?” he asks. “You’ve made out with her before.”

“I’ve kissed her before. This was different. This was … well, it felt different, for one thing. I’m usually not … on top of her like that.”

“You didn’t even let her get on top?”

“Not at first, but even then –”

“I don’t believe this. You missionary made out. Your best friend is one of the best looking girls either of us has ever seen in real life, and you missionary made out. You couldn’t be more boring if you tried.”

Chris’s cheeks flush. He hadn’t thought of what they did in terms of positions. How could that be? All of their clothes were on. They hadn’t talked about doing anything else, and thank God. He wouldn’t have wanted to, and he’s pretty sure Blair wouldn’t have wanted to, either. Blair usually says what she wants. That’s what Chris likes best about her, he thinks.

“Well, I must have been terrible at it,” he says. “She ran out of the room, and I barely saw her for the rest of the night.”

Luke sighs.

“Look, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you weren’t terrible at it.”

“How would you know?”

“Because nobody’s really terrible at it. It isn’t difficult. Especially not for you and Blair, I bet.”

“Why especially not for me and Blair?”

“Because you’re in love with each other.”

Chris’s throat closes up. People have been accusing him of being in love with Blair since he was eleven or twelve. They make jokes about them getting married all the time because nobody knows them better than they know each other. And that’s all true. The world is a little better and a little safer because Blair is in it. But in love with her? That can’t be. How would they even know what that kind of love is? Who models it for them, other than the characters in the old movies they watch on Saturday nights? Maybe Blair’s parents are in love with each other. Chris thinks they probably are. But his parents sure as hell aren’t in love. They got married because they wanted to have sex. That’s why Mom had three kids in four years.

He doesn’t think about why she would have stayed.

“I don’t know why she ran,” Chris says, ignoring Luke’s last sentence altogether. “I tried to get her to come back, but she wouldn’t even look me in the eye the whole way home.”

“Weird,” Luke says. “Tell me what happened.”

“I just did.”

“No, man. Give me a play by play.”

“Don’t you think that’s kind of … overstepping?”

“No, I don’t. It’s the only way I’m ever gonna help you figure out what happened and how sorry you have to be.”

“But we’re brothers.”

“That’s exactly why it’s not overstepping. I’m the only guy in the world who loves you enough not to be grossed out. Come on. You can tell me.”

Chris swallows. Luke doesn’t usually tell anyone he loves them, except Mom. He couldn’t even say it to Eliza even though Chris still knows he wanted to. But when Luke says he’s the only guy in the world who loves Chris enough to listen to what happened between him and Blair last night, he knows he’s telling the truth. That’s the worst part.

“OK,” Chris says. “Well …”

He gives him a play by play, of Bridget Latorre’s bedroom, of his choice to play Born in the USA, of the way Blair seemed to like it when he bit her ear. Luke almost seems to approve.

“But then I asked her how long we were supposed to keep doing it,” Chris says.

Luke frowns.

“Chris, you did not.”

“I did! I didn’t know what was supposed to happen! We could’ve gone on like that forever if I hadn’t said something.”

“Whatever. So, is that when she bolted?”

“No, it’s weirder. She said I should let her know, but I didn’t know what that meant. Then she looked me up and down, got pissed, and then she bolted.”

Luke closes his eyes in shame. He’s quiet for a long time – long enough for Chris to wonder if he actually heard him. He almost opens his mouth to ask, but instead, Luke punches him in the gut.

“What the fuck, man?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Luke says. “What’s wrong with you? How long have you been absent?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like … it’s like you never listen. You don’t listen when Mom talks, you don’t listen when I talk, you don’t even listen to scrambled porn.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you fucking do. And if I have to spell it out for you, I should call Blair tonight and tell her to put her eggs in a different basket. Holy shit, man. I don’t even know … I don’t even know how that’s possible.”

Chris backs up a little. He thinks he might have a clue, but he doesn’t want to be wrong. That would make him more embarrassed than he already is.

“So … do you know what happened?” he asks.

Luke looks him in the eye, and Chris swears his irises are red.

“You little asshole,” he says. “I know exactly what happened. And with Blair – do you really not think that Blair is beautiful?”

Chris doesn’t know how to respond. Sure, he knows Blair is beautiful. He knows what beautiful girls look like, and she’s one of them. But they’re best friends, and if he ever thinks she’s beautiful – the subjective, the thinking – then it’s over. Then he’s alone.

“I just don’t get it,” Luke keeps muttering. “I mean, if anybody could do it for you, you’d think it would be Blair.”

“Do what for me?”

“You idiot! It’s like you never even went through … and I know you did, we shared a bathroom till last year … dammit, man, you’re gonna make me say it, and I don’t want to.”

“But –”

“Blair’s pissed because you were supposed to have a hard-on!”

Chris backs up even farther. Yeah. That’s what he thought it was.

“That’s how you know when you’re done just making out,” Luke says. “Guy gets a hard-on, and girl knows it’s time to do other stuff. Blair knows that. Why don’t you?”

Chris doesn’t say anything. Why doesn’t he know that? He’d never made out with anybody before last night, but then again, neither had Blair. Maybe he did know that and had scared himself into forgetting. That sounds like him. For years, whenever he thinks of sex, it sounds great until it sounds terrifying.

He knows it works. It worked last night before he fell asleep, and he was thinking about how warm Blair’s thighs are … how for a brief moment while they were kissing, he thought about biting them and never letting go. He erased the image of Blair from his imagination just in time, though. That would have been too much.

“She said she didn’t … or I assumed she didn’t … want to do anything else,” he says. “So, why would she be upset?”

“You’re the stupidest guy I’ve ever met,” Luke says. “Are you serious? She’s crazy about you. She wanted to turn you on.”

“But she did! She did, and it was weird!”

“Maybe don’t say that to her. Ever. Because now, she thinks you think she’s ugly, that she could never be sexy, all that stuff we know isn’t true. Is it?”

“Well, no, but … but I can’t really control when that … when that happens. And it’s not my fault that it didn’t.”

Luke rolls his eyes.

“I guess it’s not,” he says. “But in the middle of it … look, people’s feelings get all blown up and bent out of shape when they’re horny. It’s not your fault, but …”

“But what?”

“But it’s just kinda surprising that you didn’t. With Blair, anyway.”

“I know. Because she’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, but no. Because you love her.”

Chris doesn’t know what to say. Of course he loves Blair. And if he let himself, he could probably see a world where they’re … together. Happy. But if it goes too far … he doesn’t know. He doesn’t let himself see beyond the fear.

“Did Eliza make out with Tall Steve last night?” Luke asks.

“Yeah.”

No point in lying to him if he asks point blank.

“Figures,” he says. “He was always trying to get with her. She just didn’t notice.”

Luke picks up another stick and throws it, this time for an even longer distance. Chris stands back and watches him as he throws. He’ll never be able to throw sticks around like Luke, or anybody worth his weight in salt, but it’s fun to watch. It’s fun to pretend.

[moodymurda]

about a boy 8

my honey

the time we’ve had apart is how i know that i love you. and knowing that i love you is what made me pull away the way i did. i know we can both relate in not wanting to like each other from the very beginning. it was so childish in hindsight. my mom always says you make plans & god laughs. and that’s so true because what happened between us was more than what i bargained for. and nothing short of some of the best times in my life.

you being there for me the day [redacted so i can’t get sued or anything like that], the way you took care of me and literally held me up when my grandma was in the hospital, that first time we went to Waffle House together after that party and i realized i liked you, meeting up to sit in the car at the park and talking about our dreams, going with you to cecil to look at the planes and shit, just all of our little moments.

you came into my life and turned my world upside down in the best way. you made me view myself as more than just a girl. you helped me to accept and fall in love with the beautiful woman i am becoming.

that being said, the lack of reciprocity when i asked, it immediately broke my heart. that conversation was crushing to me. looking back, and even in the moment i was so proud of myself for how i handled it. bc while i felt terrible on the inside, i kept my cool. the old me would broke down, i would’ve begged, pleaded even. though i was proud of myself i realize now turning cold on you the way i did almost wasn’t fair. don’t get me wrong i stand behind it but at the same time i wish i had more compassion and understanding for you like you have always given me.

i can not lie, pain was driving me to act the way i was. seeing you be so sad after the fact confused me. it felt like you were trying to make me the bad guy for setting a boundary. so when you started to do nice things when we’d hang out with our friends, just the way you approached me, it all threw me off. partially because of a lot of what you started doing, you’d never done for me before while we were dating (or whatever you’d like to call it. that’s another thing but i won’t beat a dead horse).

some of what you had said stuck with me too. like when you asked “when was the last time we went on a real date”. i don’t know man, in the end i was left feeling so stupid for being open. it felt like i gave myself to someone who didn’t value me. i felt like i imagined that we were falling in love. the timing didn’t help either.

as time has gone by i realized some changes i needed to make, so i guess it wasn’t time wasted after all.

the night of [redacted] reminded me of how i love you. it forced me to confront how much i miss you. up until that point i was ignoring it to protect my heart. but in “protecting” my heart i fear i may have lost the sweetest love i’ve ever felt.

things weren’t ideal but i love how we always tried to meet in the middle no matter what. i love how looking into your eyes grounds me. how you protect & look out for me. i love that i can learn from you & that you aren’t afraid to admit that you’ve learned something from me. you’re gentle with me when you’re right & you aren’t afraid to be wrong. i’m afraid to give my heart to you because it feels like you are my one. and i don’t know that i could take having you break my heart, but even with that knowledge i’m still willing to take the chance

nia

[loki-hargreeves]

So Cold

Pairing: mainly Jake Lockley x fem!Reader (established relationship), Steven Grant x fem!Reader & Marc Spector x fem!Reader

Warnings/Tags: fluff, suggestive stuff [making out, dirty talk, smutty undertones etc], gun violence, car accident, near death situation [drowning], angst, vulgar language, mentions of blood, hospitalization, character death [you and the moon boys will be fine], hurt/comfort

Word Count: 9,5K

Summary: Your date gets interrupted by Jake’s enemies and you end up trapped underwater.

A/N: Not my best but this concept has lived in my head rent free for weeks. @davosmymaster​ has been lovely enough to brainstorm with me and also help me with most of the Spanish parts <3 Any and all mistakes are mine!!! 😤

Please don’t come at me for any technical stuff. I don’t know what it’s like to be in a car that’s stuck underwater nor am I a medical expert (I’m basing it on personal experiences). Just enjoy the vibes <3

YOUR POV

“Jake, oh my god!” Your laughter filled the car and his ears, his name fitting somewhere in between the joyous erupts. The sun was setting below the horizon, directly in front of you as the final rays of the day bounced off the deep, dark sea. Everything was golden with hints of pink and orange. Late autumn leaves were carried by the gentle wind, cascading down onto the ground and some landing on the hood of the vehicle surely to be blown away when you’d eventually drive home.

When he looked at you trying to contain your adorable laughter after the terrible joke he told only moments earlier, he swore he felt his heart expand in his chest. Tearing his eyes off of you was impossible, not even the picture perfect sunset being a match to you, the love of his life smiling so wide it reached your eyes. If telling bad jokes always made you laugh like that, Jake would never stop.

Jake was happy.

Truly happy.

He hadn’t known this kind of love and pure bliss prior to meeting you. Before, his existence consisted mainly of protecting others and dealing with the worst of the worst. Every touch he felt was rough and cold, with violent intentions. When he felt your loving touch, he was hooked. It took time but Jake learned to long for it. Jake hadn’t lived much for himself nor had anyone ever protected him. Not that he really needed protection, not like that. But the way you loved him and made him feel was enough. You protected his heart.

That day had been wonderful so far and there was no doubt in his mind that the night would be just as good. Since it was Jake’s day, he had taken you out on a date to surprise you. Sure, there were some bumps on the road; the restaurant he had wanted to take you to was closed due to water damages, the plumbing had seen better days at that place. 

That didn’t stop you, no. You and Jake opted for fast food instead and drove to a remote area to watch the sunset and eat your food in the car instead. Sure, it had felt a bit ridiculous to walk into a fast food place in your fancy clothes but in a way, it was amusing. The heels, the dress, the suit Jake was wearing that made it hard for you to keep your hands off of him. If the weather had been nicer, you would’ve eaten outside but winter was nearing quickly. Staying in the car where it was warm, especially when you were only in a thin dress, was much better.

Somehow, that was one of your best dates so far. Just the two of you, the sunset and a lot of privacy which allowed opportunities for you to get all touchy and hands-on with each other without being judged by strangers. Jake never loved the way some people, especially other guys, would look at you. He couldn’t blame them though, because you were an absolute goddess. He felt so lucky to be with you, to be able to call you his girl. People who knew what was best for them knew not to even think about getting between you and Jake. The same applied for you and Marc and Steven. The harmony you all had was beautiful and nothing could possibly disrupt that.

Even the music was excellent tonight because the car was connected to your Spotify account. Jake had put some of his favourite songs in the queue. Right now, you were listening to a tune he always loved to sing and whistle around the flat, más allá del sol. It reminded you of the time he had completely surprised you one evening as he played the song and swayed with you in the living room. Jake Lockley was more romantic than you had ever expected him to be - and you loved everything about it.

“You have something there,” Your laughter faded after a while and you pointed at Jake’s cheek with a mischievous smile on your face. It was clear as day you had something up your sleeve.

“Here?” Jake raised an eyebrow, playing along. He pointed past the moustache he had been growing. They had decided to let their facial hair grow after they all learned how much you liked that. Besides, it looked good. Fantastic, actually.

“More like…” You began as you leaned closer to Jake and wrapped your hand around the black tie around his neck. As said, you two were definitely overdressed for a fast food date. Then you tugged at it, pulling Jake’s face close to yours.

“...right here,” You whispered and shamelessly kissed his cheek, concealing the fact that there hadn’t actually been anything on his face. You just wanted to kiss him. There was no harm in that, right?

Jake felt all warm and fuzzy inside when your lips pressed against his skin. He was sure you were able to tell it made his cheeks heat up, not that he’d admit it. The fact that you were acting like this just to smooch his cheek made Jake feel a lot of things. He wanted to return the favour before you’d drive him mad with your little antics.

“If you wanted a kiss, mi amor, you could’ve just asked,” Jake explained. Yup. He had definitely turned soft but he didn’t mind because it was all for you. He looked in your eyes, willing to get lost in the beauty and mystery that was hidden in them, something magnetizing behind your coated lashes that tried to captivate him time after time - and it worked. They said eyes were the doors to one’s soul, there was no doubt about that when he gazed into yours.

“Making you blush is more fun,” You teased. Of course, you did.

“Oh come here you,” Jake had finally reached the point of not being able to keep his hands off of you any longer. He cupped your face with his hands, fingers resting against the back of your head as he kissed you. It was fierce and passionate, a kiss that instantly took your breath away and wiped away the playful gleam. That was replaced by a burning desire, a need that only he could satisfy and you were willing to do anything for.

Jake’s tongue slipped past your lips as he tasted you, his needy and unabashed kiss making you moan. Not even the music could hide the fact. Your closed your eyes and tilted your head, needing him to get closer somehow. In a desperate attempt, you tangled your fingers in his dark locks, pulling him closer while also holding onto him for support as the kiss threatened to make you swoon. Just one kiss was all it took, the feeling of his soft stubble poking lightly against your skin and his hands now roaming down your body, toying with the straps of your dress.

As Jake pulled back from the kiss with glistening lips, it was his time to smirk.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Jake wondered in a low voice, sending shivers down your spine. It didn’t help that his breath landed on your neck, making you think about just how amazing his lips would feel on the sensitive skin. The answer to his question was quite obvious but he thought it was fun to tease you too.

“Please,” You nodded, running your fingers down his neck and then beginning to work on loosening his tie, “I’ve wanted you from the moment you walked out the house in this suit.”

“Really?” Jake acted surprised, peppering light kisses on your neck, right above your increasing pulse and inhaling the sweet, sweet scent of your perfume, “Maybe I should wear it more often. Had no clue you so into men in suits.”

“Liar,” You rolled your eyes, knowing damn well he knew what he was doing.

“Well you’re in luck, cariño,” Jake rolled one strap off your shoulder, kissing the newly exposed skin rather tenderly, “because I’ve been thinking about fucking you dumb ever since you put this dress on.”

This was the Jake you knew, being so shameless with his words yet the boldness did wonders to you. Those words went right to your core. If he kept talking to you like that as his lips were on a journey to touch every inch of your skin, you weren’t sure you’d be able to wait until you got home. You needed him now.

“Jake…” You whimpered his name, feeling your heart thundering in your chest. It wouldn’t be the first time you two got adventurous outside the flat but you wanted to make sure no one could accidentally see you.

Jake knew that. There was no way in hell he’d ever expose you like that, not when he knew what kinds of creeps existed out there. With a quick glance, he looked past your shoulder and in the side mirror. Now that the sun had set, it was darker outside but not dark enough to let anyone hide in the shadows. In fact, it made it clearer than before that there was a car nearby, parked sort of behind you two. That was definitely odd as your car was blocking the view, there was no sensible reason for anyone to be there.

When Jake put his hand on your thigh and sat up straight, you just knew something was wrong. The look on his face said it all. It’s like his mind shut out everything else and focused solely on the fact that you had to get away.

“What’s going on?” You tried to look behind and out the window, but Jake didn’t let you. He urged you to fasten your seat belt as he started the engine with a roar.

The people in the other car realized they had been caught. Their headlights turned on when they prepared to follow you for whatever reasons they had. It couldn’t be good. Suddenly the mood had gone from excitement to genuine fear. The kisses and butterflies had flown out the window, replaced by confusion and worry. Jake got on the road and began speeding up immediately, knowing the best option was to put distance between you and the people who had interrupted your date.

“There’s a gun in the glove box,” Jake told you with a flat tone. He tried so intently to stay neutral for your sake because he didn’t want to scare you. Jake recognized the car that was now tailing you and that plagued him. If anything happened to you now, he would never be able to forgive himself.

“A gun?” You didn’t know why you were surprised. As the initial shock disappeared, you followed the unspoken instructions and opened the glove box. Just as he had said, there was a gun there. The sight made you feel uneasy. What was happening?!

“Do you remember how to use it?” Jake wondered, needing to know that in case things got ugly.

“Are you serious right now?”

“It’s a yes or no question!” He snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh but neither of you had time for bickering. As he took a look in the rear view mirror, he saw the car coming closer and closer. Cars. There were more of them now, each car speeding toward you at a dangerous rate. Something flashed in the reflection. They had a gun too. Most likely guns.

“Yes! I remember how to shoot, Jake.”

“Good,” Jake hit the gas pedal, taking a rough turn to the right. The road was bumpy and in terrible condition, leading you down the hill. There was water surrounding it which meant that this road was the only way out of there. Either that or a swim in the cold, murky water that was quite the long fall away. Walking through the woods wasn’t an option either.

“Joder!” Jake cursed, angry at the fact he hadn’t noticed the car earlier. His mind jumped to the worst places, thinking about every possible scenario from start to finish. Every what-if was already taunting Jake. What would’ve happened if they had gone by unnoticed for longer? What did these people want from him? From you? Guilt was already creeping up to Jake, squirming underneath his skin like a worm and making him feel sick.

He should’ve been more alert. Letting his guard down for just one damn day had been foolish. Jake couldn’t believe this was happening.

You shook your head in disbelief as you stared at the empty road ahead, squeezing the gun in your hands. Although you were prepared to fight, your mind tried so desperately to distance itself from what was going on. The weapon was heavy in your soft hands. You didn’t want to use it but knew you would if someone threatened to hurt Jake. The thought of anyone wanting to hurt him made you sick, it sparked a raging fire you would never be able to tame. So you took a few deep breaths, chasing away the crippling fear that threatened to get the best of you. This was not the time to freak out.

“I'm sorry, mi vida,” Jake hadn’t meant to snap at you but the situation was stressful to say the least. Stress brought out a different side of him. Jake was a protector to the core but he wasn’t used to working like this. Jake preferred going solo against these assholes. Surprisingly gently, considering the circumstances, he reached out to grab your hand, giving you a squeeze before taking the gun away from you. That was simultaneously a relief and incredibly alarming.

“Who are they?” You wondered, trying to put the pieces together, to focus on facts instead of the terrifying and unreliable conclusions in your head. Everything happened so fast. One moment you had been all over each other and now some shady people were tailing you. Jake was holding the gun. You were awfully aware of your own breathing and it became more and more difficult to control it.

“Bad people,” Jake groaned, being vague on purpose. He was aware of the fact you weren’t doing well and it was killing him on the inside. Truly, it shattered his very soul to know you must’ve been scared out of your mind, not knowing the whats and whys. You had done nothing wrong and yet here you were, being hunted like an animal. If only he had a chance to comfort you, he would’ve. Right now though, he could only focus on getting rid of these people and driving far away from here.

As if to confirm what Jake just said, a shot echoed and the rear window shattered. It was loud and it made you flinch. In an instant, Jake pushed your head down as far as you could go, not giving those people a chance to aim at you. He’d rather catch those bullets in his arm than to have them anywhere near you.

He made sure the road ahead was clear so he didn’t have to focus on steering for the next second or two. Another gunshot was heard which came from Jake’s gun. This one was louder. It made your ears ring painfully which seemed to be the least of your worries. He had the gun pointing at the nearest car from behind his headrest, forcing the ‘bad people’ to dodge too. Jake pulled the trigger again, successfully breaking the windshield and disarming the man in the passenger seat. His bullet seemed to have gone right through his shoulder.

After firing behind a few more times, Jake had successfully gotten rid of one of the cars. It lost its steering and ended up spinning around on the road and disappearing into the rear view. Before you knew it, it was far out of sight.

This was getting nasty.

Another round of shots forced Jake to dodge, giving him a chance to look at the road and make sure nothing was in your way and that you weren’t driving into a ditch. He had been in car chases and shootouts many times before but never like this, never with your life on the line.

Jake had Khonshu’s protection, you didn’t.

“Jake, let me help!” You were fighting your tears, hating how useless you felt.

“Please.”

He opened his mouth to protest, thinking there was no reason to make you do anything unless it was absolutely necessary but when he saw your determined expression, Jake couldn’t just say no. The situation was dire. Focusing on the road ahead while dodging bullets and shooting at people when you were right there was too risky. There was a reason they all had trained you to fight. It was now or never.

“Aim at the tires,” Jake instructed you as he handed you the gun, trusting you. He had to. He wanted you to aim at the tires instead of the driver because he knew taking a life wasn’t easy. Jake didn’t wish that burden upon you.

With a deep breath, you pointed the deadly weapon at the enemy, struggling to see properly through the thousands of cracks and holes in the window of the nearest car that tailed you. As well as you possibly could, you tried to control the tremble in your hands. 

Focus...focus!

Before you got a chance to comprehend what was really happening, something hit the side of the car completely out of the blue and it hit you hard. The impact steered you off road instantly despite Jake hitting the brakes so hard that they screetched. Everything became a haze and you lost your sense of balance, dropping the gun in the process. Whether you were upside down or sideways, you had no way of telling. Thud after thud, it became harder to even guess. Hell, it was so sudden you didn’t even get a chance to comprehend what was really going on.

The last thing you picked up before hitting your head against the side of the car was Jake’s voice. He yelled out your name with panic and fear in his voice you had never heard before. It completely broke your heart.

             “Wake up, you idiot!”

What the hell?

“You need to get out of the car, Lockley. You’ve got no time to waste.”

Followed by Khonshu's echoing words, Jake felt the brutal sting of the cold that had enveloped his entire body. His eyes opened up wide in surprise and fear. Not only was it cold to the point it felt like his muscles were burning, it was so dark that he couldn’t see anything at all. How long had he been out?

Water was rising rapidly, pouring into the car from bullet holes and rising up Jake’s legs. It had already reached his waist, soaking his clothes and threatening to take the rest of him too. Jake didn’t fear for himself, he found himself worrying over someone else entirely.

You

Were you okay?

“Y/N!”

Jake snapped his head instinctively to his side and reached out to make sure you were there. After blinking a few times while trying not to freak out, he managed to find the light switch on the ceiling of the car. Miraculously, the lights still worked but they were already flickering. They revealed the murky water that was pulling the vehicle deeper and deeper below the surface, with no promise of ending any time soon. It seemed like an endless abyss.

Then Jake saw blood. Crimson had painted your skin and hair, dripping into the water below and washing away into the vast sea. There was a wound on the side of your head that made Jake feel ill. If the water hadn’t frozen his body by now, the sight certainly did. It’s like his heart stopped for a moment when he realized how hopeless this situation seemed. Jake couldn’t believe he had failed to protect you.

You were unconscious, the seat belt being the only thing keeping you from hunching over into the icy pool below your waist. There was a notable dent in the side of the car, the metal compressed together like a crushed soda can. Whether your legs had wiggle room or not, Jake couldn’t tell. Judging by all the blood, the answer was more gruesome than he wished for it to be.

Jake summoned his suit, feeling how the material wrapped around his body and offered some shield from the biting, frosty water. Without wasting any more time, he ripped his seat belt off with ease thanks to his powers. They really came in handy now as the water pressure had trapped you like bugs in a jar. The belt snapped in half loudly and caused Jake to stumble to the side a little bit. He didn’t know if he was injured or not - it didn’t matter. Jake felt the water rising past his waist and chest, ever so surely making the air bubble smaller and smaller.

Khonshu hadn't been lying when he said there was no time to waste.

“Come on…” Jake groaned through gritted teeth, kicking the already smashed dashboard in order to free your body from the trap the crash had created. His movements were slower than he wanted them to be underwater. Either way, the car bent due to the force, freeing your legs. The damage caused more water to flood inside. It splashed around as he searched for your seat belt, hardly feeling his hands at this point. As he eventually found it, he yanked it out of the lock with a snap and caught your body that slumped forward as the belt no longer secured you.

"I've got you," Jake didn't know if you could hear him but he needed to believe you could. It made him feel less lonely.

Jake’s body was trembling uncontrollably, his teeth beginning to chatter as his breaths became forced and sharp. Despite all that, he managed to pull you toward him, guiding your legs up from the leg room and praying to whoever heard him that you weren’t in too much pain. To his horror, he didn’t feel your body heat. Your skin was ice cold - it must’ve been normal under these circumstances. Jake refused to believe there was any other explanation.

In the poor lighting the car offered, Jake could see that his breath was foggy. However, it was more than just alarming when he realized you weren’t breathing at all. Your eyelashes rested against your bloody cheeks and you looked like you were sleeping. Why weren’t you breathing?!

“Amor,” Jake hoped to catch your attention, that somehow you would reply to him and open those pretty eyes of yours. Oh what he would give to see you looking back at him.

Jake needed to drag you out of there and get you the help you needed. That’s exactly what he was going to do. If doctors couldn’t help you then Khonshu had to. If not, Jake would make that old bird regret it for the rest of his goddamn days.

When he didn’t get a response from you and you looked like that, so tranquil and relaxed as death crept around the corner, the entire world around him shattered. There was no way he’d give up on you this easily but Jake had seen enough bodies in his lifetime to see the striking resemblance.

“No, no, no,” Jake had never felt this way before. This hopeless and terrified, like a child in a room full of corpses. It was like hell had frozen over. Everything about this situation was obscure and so fucking unfair. This was not how it would end! Not like this… Jake couldn’t let that happen. You had so much to live for, so many things yet to see and do. He would give his life if it meant you got to keep yours.

If Marc and Steven had been co-conscious and speaking all this time, Jake didn’t notice until now. He was holding you as Steven’s voice broke the silence, carrying above the sound of water filling the space nearly to the brim. At the very same time, the lights gave out, abandoning you all in a void. That made the bone-reaching coldness all the more brutal as it was overwhelmingly the only thing Jake could really feel. Adrenaline was coursing through his body but even that couldn’t block out the chilling temperature.

“Jake, you’ve got to get us out of here! Now!” Steven was frightened, feeling the panic growing stronger by the second. His sense of survival was stronger and so he urged Jake to do something - anything that would ensure you’d live to see another day.

“Ya lo sé!” Jake wasn’t angry, at least not with Steven. He was just frustrated because of the pressure he was under. He knew he had to get out of there and having his alter freaking out too wasn’t really helping.

“Oh my god, why isn’t she breathing? Jake?! Jake…”

Marc couldn’t even speak. There were no words that did justice to how he felt as memories of his past flooded him and merged with the present. He had caught a glimpse of you slack and boneless in Jake’s arms as water surrounded you all the way up to your shoulders, rising up and up.

  Steven’s voice faded into the background as Jake got into action. It’s like he spaced out and worked on autopilot. He had one mission and that was to get you out of there alive. Nothing else mattered.

How cruel was it that fate threatened to put you through the same torture as it had put Randall through? At that very moment, Marc was convinced his existence was cursed.

Jake needed to stop ‘fate’ before it was too late. It better not dare take you now. This was not your time! 

He pulled you as close to him as he possibly could, making sure his grip was secure because he knew that the moment you’d plunge out of the car, he couldn’t risk losing you. Not when it was so dark. Not when you weren’t even breathing on your own! One wrong move and he feared he’d lose you forever. That was simply not an option.

With one last, deep breath, Jake pushed your face into his suit as if to shield your face from the water and then he kicked as hard as he could. It took a couple of tries but eventually, he kicked off the entire door, which disappeared into the shadows instantly. The air bubble was lost as water surged into the car, rushing in so fast it forced Jake to hold onto you even tighter. Finally, he made it out of the car, using his powers to move up instead of sinking to the bottom like the car did. It was probably going to stay down there for a while.

The only way to tell which was up was by blowing out air and following the direction of the bubbles. In the pitch-darkness, he relied on his other senses, feeling the bubbles moving up his face. Jake felt disorientated and dizzy, but he trusted his senses as he surged through the water and hoped it was toward the surface.

Then, at last, he began to see something again. Distant lights were guiding him in the right direction. Street lamps and city lights from far, far away. Jake reached the surface of the water and immediately sucked in another deep breath, relieved as his lungs expanded with air instead of water. As he breathed in and out a few times, he tasted mud and blood on his tongue.

He soared above the surface with you limp in his arms. The cape was drenched, weighing heavy on Jake’s shoulders. It was the first thing to reach the ground, instantly followed by his boots. As he felt secure on the ground, Jake examined his surroundings through narrowed eyes, not daring to let go of you until he knew it was safe. The shore consisted mainly of countless of rocks and dirt. There was a steep hill that lead up to the road. Right now, that offered you some shelter. Jake couldn’t see any of the cars that had been chasing you. They must’ve assumed you wouldn’t make it out of there alive.

As much as Jake wanted to go and find them, anger boiling in his veins as he thought about what they had done, he stayed put. Vengeance could wait. You couldn’t. He lowered you on your back ever so carefully and knelt by your side, the black and white cape pooling around you two. Jake made sure your head was positioned in a way that wouldn't cause further damage to the gnarly wound. Under the faint, blue glow of the moon, Jake made out your relaxed expression. That scared him beyond comprehension.

Not only that, the dress you wore did little to hide the damage the crash had caused. Cuts and bruises were scattered across your body but seeing your legs out of the water for the first time really showed how bad it was. It didn’t take a doctor to know something was broken. Jake saw the bright, red blood that gushed out of a deep wound on your thigh. After all this time, it was still pumping out blood at an alarming rate.

He cursed as he ripped his cape, not giving a damn what Khonshu thought of it as he used the material to stop the bleeding. Not that it mattered anyway, as the material reappeared out of thin air. Jake secured it around your leg as tightly as he could, hating that he had to use this kind of force on you although he knew it was for the best. If he didn’t stop the bleeding, you’d bleed out. That was much worse.

As he was done with stopping the bleeding, Jake parted his quivering lips as if to say something but nothing came out. Jake brushed your wet hair to the side, gently caressing your face in doing so and then he tried to feel your breath with the back of his hand.

Still nothing.

It only took a moment and he had pulled your head back gently to open your airways as his hands pressed together above your heart. Then without hesitating, he started to push down in a steady rhythm. Everyone always said to give chest compressions in the rhythm of a few certain songs but when the moment arrived, that was the last thing one could think about. Jake relied on Steven's help to merely count the compressions. The black and white fabric vanished from around his head so it wasn’t in the way.

An unfamiliar sting blurred Jake's vision as he tried to resuscitate you. The longer he knelt by your side, pushing your ribcage down in a way that felt way too rough, the more he dreaded the outcome. Why were you still not breathing?! He bent down to meet your lips, pinching your nose shut as he tried his best to breathe air into your lungs as steady as he possibly could. It was difficult to think that only moments before he had kissed your lips, not knowing it could’ve potentially been the very last time.

Jake pulled back, shoved his dark thoughts away and used all his strength to focus on the compressions. This was repeated again. Again. And again...

"Por favor!" Jake cried out like never before, begging for you to be okay. You had to be okay!

Truth be told, Jake began to lose focus. He never lost focus on missions. This was different. When he was faced with the chance of losing you, it shook him right to the core. The very foundation he had built with you, the safety net of knowing you were there was now threatening to slip through his fingers. Dread was making Jake feel sick to his stomach. Nothing he was doing seemed to help and that was the single most haunting realization of his life.

Jake had failed to protect you.

"Abre los ojos, mi amor. Por favor," he pleaded with raw desperation in his voice. Had Jake's enemies seen him now, they would've thought he was a man possessed. His brows furrowed in a sorrowful manner, deep brown eyes filling with tears. Jake Lockley was crying for you. His tough and cool demeanour was nowhere to be seen. How could he possibly keep a grip on himself in a moment like this? Even Jake was just a man who loved with his entire heart.

"Breathe for me. Just breathe." That’s all he asked for. He was sorry but he didn’t ask for forgiveness. Only for you to breathe.

“Lo siento mucho,” numerous apologizes slipped past his quivering lips. Could you even hear him? Did you know how sorry he was for this? 

Then it happened. Seemingly out of the blue, your eyes opened as a coughing fit forced you to turn to the side. Jake pulled his hands back from your chest and looked at you in shock. Although, as he heard the struggle in your breath, he instantly rushed to your aid. Jake rubbed your back and encouraged you to let it all out and then fill up those lungs. The coughing fit came to a halt and you were taking in deep and shaky breaths. They revealed that you were in pain but god was it a relief to know you were alive.

It was a miracle if Jake had ever seen one.

Whatever hope and joy he had felt for only a moment was quickly wiped away when he heard the pain in your voice.

“Jake!” You sobbed his name, hands trying to reach your thigh where the shooting pain came from but he stopped you. Tears welled up in your eyes instantly. Everything hurt in a way you had never felt before. You wanted it to stop.

“You’re okay. You’ll be fine, I promise,” Jake gave you his word but that was hard to believe when you writhed on the rocks in pure agony. His words went in one ear and out the other. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t find comfort in them. Not when it felt like every cell in your body had been torn apart.

“It hurts!” Those two words absolutely shattered Jake’s heart.

“I know. I’m so sorry,” Jake didn’t know what else to say. Words couldn’t heal you magically, could they? So what was the point? Knowing that you were in any kind of pain was just awful, truly awful. He wished he had the ability to take it all away in the blink of an eye. Somehow, he needed to take you to the nearest hospital but he was terrified of touching you and hurting you furthermore.

In a state of panic, you tried to sit up so you could see what was causing you so much pain, but moving your body was almost impossible. When you tried lift your head from the ground, a sharp sting in your neck forced you to stop. Flashes of what happened came to you, reminding you of the car chase. Where were the others now? Had Jake dealt with them? Or were they out there, waiting for an opportunity to strike again?

“What h-happened?” You wondered as hot tears rolled down your face. God it was cold. You didn’t notice until now how badly you were shivering. Even Jake was cold, his hands not warming up yours like they used to. Even in the state of shock you were in, you realized you were both soaking wet.

Jake didn’t know what to say or do. He just wanted to get you somewhere safe where people could help you. But how? The car was in the bottom on the sea and he had no idea if it was safe to move you. Did you have whiplash? Inner bleedings? Would lifting you make it worse? How could he call for help when you didn’t have phones and the nearest house was probably miles away.

A gush of wind went right to Jake’s bones, making him shiver because of how cold it was but it also revealed that Khonshu was standing right behind him. He didn’t even have to look to know the god was looming over his shoulder. If not to help then Jake didn’t care. He had no patience for Khonshu’s games now.

“I suggest you get up. You’ve got company,” Khonshu warned Jake in a calm and collected way. The god’s words changed Jake’s demeanour. The people who had put you through so much already came back and it was the worst mistake those people had ever made. The spiraling panic and fear were wiped to the side as Jake nodded, acknowledging Khonshu’s warning.

There was no way in hell he would let them hurt you again.

As Jake heard an engine roaring nearby, coming closer and closer, he knew he had to protect you no matter what the cost. He looked down at you, silently apologizing for what he had to do. Even when he did it to make sure you were safe, he felt incredibly guilty for having to leave your side. Just a second was enough to make him feel rotten deep down to the core.

“Everything will be alright,” Jake bent down to your face level, looking you right in the eye as he spoke, “I promise.”

You heard the car as well which filled your every vein with terror. So you hadn’t managed to escape from them after all.

“Be careful,” You could hardly get the two words past your bloodied lips. You knew he was going to face them, there was no doubt about it. You had to trust he would come back for you.

He placed the softest kiss on your forehead, refusing to speak of the thoughts that tormented him. A kiss would have to do. It would have to express how sorry he was. It had to express his promise that he’d come back to you. That soon you wouldn’t feel all that pain anymore.

Then he got up, summoned the hood and the mask so he was fully suited and he got up the hill before the bad guys could come down and find you. If they did, Jake had zero doubt they would aim for you instead of him.

When Jake saw a familiar car parked on the other side of the road, he saw red.

The driver looked scared out of his mind when he faced Jake in his ceremonial armor, much darker than Marc’s, much more intimidating than Steven’s. His cape was now flowing in the wind and his eyes were glowing, glaring daggers into the man’s head. Jake looked furious even when the dark fabric covered his face. Rage was radiating off of him and the driver must’ve realized his mistake; coming after you again.

The driver pointed his gun at Jake and pulled the trigger. Twice. Three times. Then he stopped because the bullets seemed to do nothing to Jake. He kept walking toward the car with only one goal in mind - to defeat the enemy.

“Stop!” The terrified man yelled, trying to intimidate Jake Lockley. He needed a lot of luck if he wanted to succeed in that.

“Don’t come closer!”

Jake noticed another man in the passenger seat. He was already dead, presumably from the bullets that flew their way during the car chase. The driver would join his friend soon. Wherever they went to after this life.

As Jake reached the man, he tried to open the car door and use that to push Jake. Worth a shot, but Jake saw it coming so he slammed the door shut and trapped the man inside. The window was already rolled down so it made it easy for Jake to reach into the car and wrap his hand around the man’s neck. There wasn’t a single part of Jake that felt bad for crushing that man’s windpipe. There were worse things he could do but he didn’t have time. Oh if it was up to Jake, he’d rip his fucking spine out of his back. This was merciful when compared to what Jake would’ve done if you weren’t currently bleeding out on the rocks.

In a last, desperate attempt to come out of this alive, the man pointed the damn gun at Jake’s head. In just a split second, Jake used his other hand to grab the barrel of the gun. His grip was so tight that the solid metal barrel bent under his touch, forcing the bullet to get stuck somewhere in there. Now it was rendered useless and Jake didn’t hesitate to throw it out on the road, smashing it into bits and pieces in doing so.

“No debiste ni mirarla,” Jake made sure that the last thing this poor excuse of a man ever did was regret coming after you. He would have to die realizing the cost of that one mistake.

The man let out a silent scream or plea - it didn’t matter. His nails dug into Jake’s suit, trying to claw his way free from the deadly grip but to no avail. In fact, it just made Jake squeeze harder, pushing the man’s head into the seat because of the sheer force he was using.

As Jake stood there with his arm inside the vehicle, he looked around the empty road and deep into the dark woods. The silence was ominous. The loneliness a reminder of the fact no one was going to help you. Clouds swirled around the moon in the ever darkening sky. It was the only witness to this man’s early demise.

No one else had been stupid enough to follow you there.

                      Seeing you in that hospital bed was the worst thing Jake had ever seen in his entire life.

Hooked up to all these machines with needles and tubes sticking into you to the point he could hardly see your beautiful face. Instead of hearing the soft sounds of your relaced breaths, he was forced to listen to the beeping of a heart monitor and the low buzz of all the other machines that did things Jake didn’t even know about. That repeating beep was tantalizing. 

But it was also a sign that you were alright. In a way, the worst sight he had ever seen was also a relief. You had gotten the help you needed and were now on the path of getting better. There was no place he’d rather be with you now than this hospital, surrounded by skilled experts who could rush in without wasting any time if you needed help.

Getting to the hospital felt like such a distant memory now. Jake had thrown the bodies out of the car and used it to get you from the middle of nowhere to the nearest hospital. Despite the fact that driving was the reason you had gotten hurt in the first place, Jake drove again without hesitation. What were the odds of getting into another accident right after the first one, right?

He barely remembered what he had said when you reached the building. Nurses and guards had swarmed you, taking you away from Jake because they knew you needed urgent care. Letting them roll you away from him had been difficult to do. Jake was so scared someone would try to hurt you again. Trusting strangers with your life, even when they dedicated their lives in helping others, was incredibly difficult. By the time he realized the security guards were refusing him to follow you any further, Jake stopped. 

You were getting the help you needed. There was nothing more he could do. Knowing that your fate was out of his control was scary. Jake had to trust these people to give you the care you needed and deserved. He didn’t trust easily.

Jake learned that they were performing emergency surgery on you when a doctor had walked up to him and asked all sorts of questions. The police had arrived too. Everything had been a bloody mess, as Steven would’ve said.

Hours later, it was all over. The questioning, the nauseating feeling of having to wait for you to get out of surgery. Just to hear that everything went well. Jake needed to know you’d make a full recovery. It took some convincing to do but finally, he was by your side in a hospital room and Jake wasn’t going anywhere.

What if more of those guys decided to find you? What if they found out where you were staying? Would they kill you if Jake left you alone for even a moment?

That was a risk he refused to take. He would rather sit on the uncomfortable plastic chair by your bedside and hold your hand all night long. Was it night or was it morning? Jake had no clue. 

“Mate,” Steven’s careful voice snapped Jake out of the bubble of thoughts he had been in. He raised his gaze from your sleeping face to meet Steven’s in the reflection in the small mirror on the wall right above the sink. He looked worried sick. Worried about you and Jake.

“What?” Jake was beyond exhausted. His eyelids were heavy and he didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. He had done enough talking with doctors and police who had the audacity to suspect that Jake had hurt you. The fucking nerve of some people.

“You should go home-”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jake didn’t even let Steven finish that sentence. By shooting another glance at the mirror, Jake realized Marc was still not there. Great. Just great.

“Look at yourself!” Steven put his foot down, trying so hard to look after everyone. “You’re covered in blood and dirt. Do you think that she’ll be relieved to wake up to that?”

Jake clenched his jaw and ignored his alter. He hated to admit that Steven had a point. Then again, he didn’t want to leave your side. Not even when he had dry blood on his face and hair and he could smell it on his torn up shirt. His dark locks were disheveled. 

The nurses and doctors who walked in to check on you from time to time must’ve thought Jake looked terrifying. One of the nurses had even offered him a chance to shower at the hospital, seemingly out of pity but Jake had refused. She even let him know when the hospital cafe opened if he needed anything from there.

“She’ll be fine, Jake. She has all the help she needs right here. Just go home, take care of yourself and come back after.”

A shower sounded nice, it really did. Also food wouldn’t hurt. It felt like forever ago when you and Jake had eaten the fast food on your date. It had only been less than a day but had someone told Jake weeks had passed, he would’ve almost believed them.

“I can’t,” Jake sighed eventually, his shoulders slumping down as he leaned against your hospital bed. He studied your face and brought his still trembling fingers to your cheek, ever so carefully caressing your soft skin just below the tubing of the nasal cannula. Were you dreaming? If so, Jake hoped you had the sweetest dreams. Perhaps the medication caused you to dream of nothing at all. Maybe it was for the best. He knew you needed the rest.

Steven didn’t want to leave your side either, no. But he also knew that Jake wasn’t able to help you when he was in that state. A shower and some food, maybe even a nap would do wonders. Besides, Steven knew you’d be safe here. The hospital security had definitely noticed that something odd was going on here. They had been patrolling the corridor ever since you had been wheeled into the room after surgery. If anyone tried to come visit you that wasn’t Jake or family, they would be stopped.

Steven fronted now, sensing that Jake just didn’t have it in him to fight. Part of Jake wanted to let someone else front, to give up control for a while. So when Steven was in control, he wasn’t really surprised that Jake didn’t even argue with him. It was better this way.

“Oh, love,” Steven felt a pang in his chest as he felt everything so much more vividly. The smell of the hand sanitizer that was a distinct smell all over the hospital. He could feel the exhaustion in his body, feel how the thin hospital blanket felt like against his skin. Despite Khonshu’s healing, it felt like Steven had gone through hell. If he felt this way, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what you were going through. Steven was afraid to touch you but he fought that fear as he placed his hand above yours. It didn’t take long for him to feel the tears in the corners of his eyes.

How could anyone in their right mind ever wish to hurt you? Steven couldn’t understand that. He just couldn’t.

“I’ll be right back, yeah?” Steven tried to smile. He pressed a feather-light kiss on the roof of your hand, relieved when he realized your skin was warm. That alone was a good sign.

“I’ll bring you something from the flat. I promise it won’t take long,” Steven gave you his word as he stood up, taking in the sight of you resting in a hospital bed. That one would haunt his nightmares and memories for a long time.

But he had to go. Steven knew you would stay here for a while so he already planned on bringing you things that would make you feel closer to home. Should he bring a book so he could read to you? Perhaps your own clothes would make you feel more comfortable than the ones provided by the hospital. Surely no one would mind if he brought your favourite movies. It’s not like the hospital TV had Netflix on it. He’d figure something out.

                                        Steven had been right. Jake was too stubborn to tell him though. He felt much better in clean clothes and without blood all over him. Some of it had been your blood, which only made it worse. He had even packed a bag full of clothes and other things he figured you would need on your stay.

Just as promised, you were alright when they came back. Steven hadn’t taken a nap at the flat because he too wanted to waste no time. There was a need to take care of you and that need told him to make sure you wouldn’t wake up alone. Steven had just made it back to the plastic chair. The moment he sat down and knew you were okay, he fell asleep right by your side, his hand never letting go of yours.

Jake was fronting when you woke up. His eyes snapped open as he watched you take in your surroundings. The relief on your face when you saw him was visible. Seeing him made you feel safe.

It was obvious you were in a hospital although you didn’t remember getting there. Not that it mattered. You felt an odd sense of joy when you realized Jake was holding your hand. Perhaps you just felt odd in general. You swore your vision was hazy, almost dream like. Focusing on something was near impossible. There was something on your face that felt uncomfortable and you tried to pull it off. Jake grabbed your other wrist ever so carefully to stop you.

“I can’t let you do that, amor. It helps you breathe,” He explained and then let go of you, knowing you wouldn’t try that again.

“...you…mkay?” You mumbled tiredly, frustrated as your body didn’t co-operate with your mind. Moving your lips when they felt numb was strange. Just finding your voice proved to be hard. Must’ve been the morphine. All you wanted was to know Jake was alright.

Jake knew what you were trying to ask and it made his heart tighten in his chest. After everything you had been through you worried about him. Jake felt undeserving of your pure love and concern. If it wasn’t for him and the entire ordeal with Khonshu, you wouldn’t be hospitalized in the first place!

“I’m okay,” He let you know.

That made you smile droopily, your lips curving slightly more to the left side than the right. At least the drugs were working.

“I’m gonna go get a doc, alright?”

You squeezed Jake’s hand weakly before he could get up. Just for a moment longer, you wanted to be like this. You knew that when the doctor would walk in, reality would crash over you. Honestly, it was terrifying. You didn’t want to hear the awful news they most certainly had nor were you interested in knowing how long you had to be there. For just a brief moment longer, you wanted to be with Jake and tell yourself everything was perfectly fine. Granted, the dull ache in your body told another story.

“Not yet,” You muttered, tilting your head to the side and forcing your body to relax against the stacked pillows. Fear and anxiety were beginning to torment you, whispering terrible things to the part of your brain that wondered what would happen next. That brought tears to your eyes without you even realizing it.

“Okay,” Jake wasn’t going to argue with you. He suspected there was a reason for this request. “I’m not going anywhere yet.”

After he confirmed that, you nodded as if to let the words sink in. In a moment of clarity, you looked down your body that was covered in blankets. You tried to move your legs cautiously, remembering the pain from before. When you felt how restricted your movements were, Jake closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He knew something you didn’t. His reaction caused your anxiety to spike.

If something was wrong with you, you wanted to hear it from him instead of a doctor who didn’t know you or care about you. Not personally, at least.

“Baby,” You swallowed the lump in your throat, “how bad is it?”

Of course, you asked that. Jake would’ve been a fool if he believed you wouldn’t. This was your life and your body you were talking about.

“They said you’ll make a full recovery,” Jake started with that, failing to meet your eye as he continued, “but it will take some time.”

“And the…the people who did this?” That question didn’t need any clarification.

“They won’t bother you ever again,” Jake hadn’t taken all of them out but he would stop at nothing to make sure vengeance was delivered upon each and every one of them. 

“I promise.”

“Okay,” You believed him. That didn’t make it hurt any less. Without even seeing most of your body and with strong medications concealing the true amount of pain you were in, you knew it was going to be a long time before this could be put in the past.

That made you feel defeated in so many ways. 

Would they stick by your side through it all? Or would this scare all of them away from you forever? 

Jake saw the tears rolling down your face, glistening in the corners of your eyes as you held your breath in order to keep your sobs and whimpers to yourself. He had never seen such a miserable expression on your face and neither did he want to. If someone had a time machine, he would steal it if that would undo what had already happened. Jake would do anything to make sure you’d never have to feel this way.

“Oh, mi amor,” he didn’t hesitate to move from the chair to the edge of the hospital bed, being incredibly cautious as to avoid hurting you as he wrapped you in his arms. When Jake pulled you close to his chest and you felt his tender embrace, it was impossible to keep the cries at bay any longer.

Jake swayed from side to side ever so softly as you clung onto his shirt and let it all out in violent sobs. At the worst of it, you couldn’t even bring yourself to speak. Jake was quiet too, knowing that no words could fix this. He offered to hold you in his loving arms as you let the pain out.

Eventually, your cries calmed down but neither of you let go of each other. Jake felt your chest rising as you took in shaky breaths, working so hard just to steady them. You wondered if he knew that his cologne was calming you down. It was constant, something that reminded you of good things. It reminded you of home. You wanted nothing more than to go home but you knew you couldn’t. Not like this.

As Jake held you, his eyes peered out through the blinds. The window gave him a view of the hospital parking lot. Cars were driving in and out, struggling to find a parking spot and others struggling to navigate their way through the concrete mess. Somewhere out there, near or far in the distance, were the rest of the people who stood behind this. Living their lives and going on about their days with far less damage. Perhaps they were trying to come up with a new master plan to catch Khonshu’s avatar. To destroy him by hurting the one thing they truly loved.

Jake was heartbroken but if anyone saw his expression, they would see a man full of rage. He shot death glares out the window, only thinking about what he’d do once he found them. It wouldn’t be pretty. He wouldn’t have to go after them alone, no. Steven and Marc would be there too.

A/N: Should I write a part 2? If you enjoyed it pls let me know. The next part would be more focused on hurt/comfort and recovery. Maybe even smut, who knows 👀

[finelinevogue]

What if a security guard wouldn’t let you back in the arena if you went out to get something. And they didn’t believe that you were harrys gf and just thought you were a crazy fan

oooh it’s been done before but here’s my version!! ;

You were running late.

It was already 7pm and you were only getting out of your car in the car park. Harry was due to be on stage in an hour and you hadn’t even seen him yet. The traffic around Dallas today has been awful. Chocker block. You’d been with Harry all day, up until 3 hours ago when he had to leave the hotel to come to the stadium for rehearsals. Normally you’d go with him, but you were so tired that you wanted a little nap before coming. The problem here was you overslept.

There were no Ubers available and a taxi would be far too expensive at this time, so you drive in Harrys car instead. You’d been following Harry on tour in his car, so when you get to different destinations you can go out on ball day trips if you want to without the obscenity of a huge tour bus or paying for Ubers everywhere. It was the main reason you were so tired though, travelling across country and into different time zones. It would be so much easier if this was the UK.

You grabbed your purse and your jacket, locking the car as you got out and started running for the backstage entrance. It was easy to make it there and you noticed security guards already standing there.

“Hi!” You smiled, slightly short of breathe. You were about to move past them when one of them shoved your shoulder back, making you stumble back unbalanced. “Wha—���

“ID and backstage pass to get through here.” One of them said, looking you up and down as if you were nothing.

If anything, you were quite shocked on how they just treated and continued to treat you. Normally, Harry would show a picture of you to these backstage security guards to make sure you’d be able to get in no problem, but it seemed like today Harry might’ve forgotten to show that photo. This was going to be a problem for you, because you’d forgotten to bring your backstage pass.

“I normally just go through? I’m Harry’s girlfriend.” You tried talking your way around the situation, not appreciating behind held up so close to show-time.

“Oh you’re Harry’s girlfriend? You must be the 7th one we’ve met tonight.” The security guy laughed and so did his friend, making your blood boil with how annoying they were being. Harry would be so pissed if he heard the way they were treating you.

“No but I actually am.”

“Then, ID and backstage passes.” One of then held out his hand whilst the other crossed his arms over his chest to make him look intimidating. Dickheads.

“I have ID just not the backstage passes.” You answered honestly, holding out your ID for them to check. They collected it and asked you questions on it, you answering them all perfectly.

“Well you definitely know you, but you have no proof you’re supposed to be where you claim to be.” They handed you back your ID and you huffed in stress.

“Well what can I show you? Photos of me and Harry together? Text messages?” You waved your arms around, getting really pissed off that this was actually happening. You’d probably miss Jenny’s whole set because of this and then 15 minutes before show-time Harry gets transported under the stage. So you only really would have half and hour with him, and that’s just not enough time. You wanted a safe and warm hug off him. You wanted a kiss. You just wanted him.

“Everyone knows they can be photoshopped.” One of the guys scoffs at your notion.

“Listen. You either show us your backstage pass or we’ll escort you off site.” The other one says a lot more firmer this time. It made you quite anxious for what you’d do if they did that - or maybe when they did that.

“Well I don’t have the backstage passes.” You sighed, rolling your eyes at the way this was going to end.

“Then let’s go.” One of them pointed to where you came from and to the car park, stepping forwards as he did so.

“I’m not leaving until you let me through those doors. My boyfriend is waiting for me.” You answered, taking a step back in stress of what they might do.

“Harry ain’t your boyfriend. Now let’s go!” They stepped forwards again and reached for you.

You swung your bag at one of them, hitting him in his side and he grunted because of the impact of your water bottle with his chest. The other one grabbed your arm and you couldn’t shake him, since you were not trained in any way for situations like this at all. His fingers dig into your skin and it made you scream out a cry, trying to kick him in any way to escape. The other one recovered ever ordered the guy holding you to escort you away whilst he stayed and guarded the door. The one holding you tugged your arms behind your body and held them tight there, it really fucking hurting. He didn’t care though and continued to walk you, asking you where your car was so he could get you out of here.

Once you reached your car he let you go and you wrapped your arms around you as he walked away again, not verbally saying anything but his eyes saying enough. Stay away. You shakily got your keys out of your bags and unlocked your door, climbing in and just sitting there. You could feel your hands really shaky and achy. Looking down with tear clouded eyes, you saw the red marks over your arms and slight bruising already. Your arms and shoulders hurt from being bent in an uncomfortable position.

You cared less about the pain though and how much of a disappointment of a girlfriend you were going to be to Harry. He was going to think either the worst for you or the worst of you. You reached in your bag on your lap for your phone, throwing your bag on the seat next to you afterwards. You wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your t-shirt and unlocked your phone to text messages, sending Harry a quick text.

To Harry: Are you free to call? x

No response. You sat there for a few minutes in silence, still shook up and teary. That had been a really awful situation to be in and you hated that you were nowhere near Harry to fix it. Your phone vibrated 3 minutes later, finding a text message from Harry. You sighed and felt safe when you saw his icon light up your notifications, knowing he was in contact with you.

From Harry: Of course, you okay? xx

You didn’t open your phone because you didn’t know how to respond. How do you tell him you’re not okay, only 20 minutes before he’s meant to be ready to go on stage? You didn’t want to worry him, but you also didn’t want him thinking you were a terrible girlfriend either.

Another vibration.

From Harry: Lovie? xx

Your eyes watered at that simple word, meaning so much more to you than five letters. It made you feel so much comfort, you only wished you could get that hug and a kiss now.

Again.

From Harry: Love, you’re worrying me now.

From Harry: Let me face-time you, hang on.

His icon lit up the screen; Incoming…

You shakily accepted, wiping your eyes quickly before. When he answered you could tell he was still in his dressing room, sat on the sofa that you wish you were also sat on with him. He looked so beautiful. His hair was perfectly styled and he was wearing a pearl coloured silk shirt and you knew he was wearing white silk pants to co-ordinate. You thought he looked ethereal. A glowing beacon of hope and beauty.

He didn’t say anything to you at first and you nothing to him. He just looked at you and instantly knew something bad was up. He kept eye contact with you and it was as if he was having a telepathic conversation with you, understanding that you needed him and just him.

“Hey, Mitch man?” Harry asked, turning his head to somewhere else in the room. “Could y’just give me a minute. Please.”

“Sure, sure.” Mitch answered and all you could hear was the sound of shuffling and the door shut. As soon as he was gone you started crying all over again. You cupped your hand over your eyes and your body shook as you just cried. Harrys heart broke that you were alone and he couldn’t hug you close to his chest.

“Y/N, baby. Look at me.” He asked urgently and you just shook your head, embarrassed that this was happening to you. “You’ll be alright lovie, I promise. Just look at me, beautiful.” You moved your hand away from your face and wiped your eyes and nose to try and make you look slightly better - not that it helped. “There’s my pretty girl.”

You smiled. He smiled.

“I-i’m so-rry H.” You whispered, sniffling in between words because of how shaky you felt.

“Hey, no. None of that. It’ll be okay.” He reassured you, keeping eye contact with you to try and decipher what was wrong. “Where are you, lovie? You’re in the car, yeah?” Harry asked, recognising your surroundings but you could get anywhere. You could have been in an accident for all he knew, but he was remaining calm so he didn’t send you into a panic.

“Yeah. In the stadium car park.” You saw Harrys eyes momentarily light up at that, before he remembered that you weren’t okay.

“Okay. Tell me why you’re upset, love. Help me understand.” He sounded urgent, just wanting to know so he could help you out. He wanted you to be okay. He wanted you with him.

“The security guards wouldn’t let me in, backstage I mean. I didn’t have my backstage pass. But..” You choked on a sob and Harry told you to just breathe. You were okay. “One of them g-grabbed me and escorted m-me of sight.”

“Baby, are you hurt? Is that why you’re upset?” Harry asked, standing up now in panic. His face looked angry, but you could tell he was trying his best to be a comfort for you. “Y/N?”

“Y-yes. Yes Harry, yes.” You voice wobbled out and you let out an exasperated sob. “I’m s-sor—”

“No don’t you dare. Don’t apologise for this. Not ever. You understand me?” He made very clear he wasn’t messing around.

“Yes.” You nodded.

“Alright. Now, you gotta be strong for me okay?” He asked, before asking, still checking that you were okay. He knew you would be though, because you were his bravest girl ever - stronger than you knew.

“Okay.”

“You’re going to make your way back to the backstage entrance, alright? I am going to be there, before you get there. Those security guards won’t be there I promise. You’ll be okay. Can you do that for me?” He asked, moving around the room and then out of the door. He was walking down the corridors, ignoring the people shouting his name. He was only focused on you.

“Yes. Okay.” You nodded, wiping under your nose again.

“I love you.” He kissed the camera of his phone, looking like he was kissing you instead.

You returned the gesture, kissing him virtually back. “I love you.”

He told you that it’d be alright and then ended the call, explaining how you didn’t need to hear him get angry when he found these security guards. They would be fired even if they weren’t on his tour crew, he’d make sure of it. You made your way back to the backstage entrance again, slowing down before you rounded the corner. Taking a deep breathe you walked around and were met with exactly what Harry promised; him.

You smiled and broke out into a run to get to him, your bag weighing on your shoulder. Once you reached him your bag was thrown on the floor in front of him and you jumped into his arms. He lifted you up to sit you around his waist, keeping his arms tight around your waist and squeezing the biggest hug out of you. Your arms tightened around your boyfriends neck and you buried your face into his neck, and god he smelt like everything homely and sweet. He felt just like home.

“See, you’re alright now lovie.” He assured you, kissing your cheek that wasn’t quite buried into his neck.

“Th-ank you.” You muttered, kissing his neck in appreciation which made him hum in delight. He tasted so hot and lush. He was insatiable. You then felt him start kissing your arms, where the harsh red and purple marks were.

“Sorry y’had to go through this.” He kept kissing your arms, until you moved your head up and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“If I can’t say sorry, then neither can you.” You shook your head, kissing his nose softly. You watched his eyes flutter close and felt so special that only you could do that to him.

“You’re so amazing Y/N. Truly.”

“You’re pretty special too, my love.”

He didn’t need to hear anything else from you, those words were enough, so he pressed his lips to yours softly, filling you with the love you’d been waiting to feel all day. You smiled into the kiss and he just felt so amazing. He was so soft and gentle with you - as smooth as the silk that dressed his body. He was so pretty to watch melt away under your spell and delicious tasting. Strawberries, was that?

He was everywhere. He was everything. He always would be.