#nothing has ever made it out of the drive you guys i am TERRIBLE at committing

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Ennoshita isn’t here today.

Kenji sighs and stares, despondent, at the empty armchair where Ennoshita usually sits when he visits. It’s been a few days since he last stopped by, and the withdrawal is starting to take its toll. 

“You know,” says Mai, “you wouldn’t have to sit and wait for him to come around if you had just asked for his number.”

Kenji whips around to scowl at her. “Like you have room to talk. Didn’t you say you were going to ask out Misaki on Tuesday?”

Mai flushes red. “It was bad timing! I wasn’t going to ask her in the middle of the rush hour.”

“She was literally the only one in the shop.”

“Yes, but she was in a rush,” says Mai haughtily. “Hence, it was a rush hour for her.”

Kenji rolls his eyes. “Whatever makes you feel better.”

“I heard the film department had a pretty big project to finish up this week,” Aihara Mao chimes in. “That’s probably why he hasn’t been here. Cheer up, Kenji, I’m sure he’ll be back soon enough.”

“You make me sound obsessed with him,” Kenji grumbles, burying his face in his arms. Honestly, he knows he kind of is. Not obsessed, no, that’s creepy. He’s just . . . incredibly conscious of Ennoshita’s presence and the lack thereof. Observant. Attentive. Vigilant.

Addicted, Jiri had called him once.

“Kogane-kun told me he couldn’t stop staring at you the last time he was here,” Mai says. “You can’t tell me that doesn’t mean something.” 

“Maybe I was having a bad hair day.”

Mai throws up her hands and looks at Mao, her exasperation as clear as the summer sun. “Forget it, he’s hopeless.”

“Hopelessly in loooooove,” Mao sings, and dodges when Kenji chucks a crumpled straw wrapper at her, laughing. “It’s cute, Kenji! It’s nice to know that you’re not all bitter black coffee.”

“I am not!” Kenji protests. “Shirabu is bitter black coffee. I’m a mocha frappuccino with extra chocolate chips, whipped cream, and a caramel drizzle on top.”

“Ennoshita doesn’t like frappuccinos,” points out Mai, unhelpfully. “He always orders a peach green tea when he’s here.”

Like Kenji doesn’t know that. Like he doesn’t know that Ennoshita takes his green tea with less ice and at half the sweetness. Like he doesn’t pay attention when Ennoshita tells him every miniscule detail about his life, from the asshole professor he has on Tuesdays to the stray rabbit his younger cousins adopted. Like Kenji hasn’t catalogued every single moment they’ve ever had together, carefully preserved behind glass cases in his head like a fucking museum of shameless, relentless crushing. 

Okay, so he’s a little bit hopeless. Not that he would ever tell Mai that.

-- an excerpt from ACTION!, an ennofuta college coffeeshop au that's 50% plot and 50% vibes

[allpiesforourown]

Roommate Binghe would absolutely make the most insanely hilarious Reddit thread that’s so out of touch with reality. I can just hear the comments begging him to give the woman he dates a break and just bend over and fuck his roommate already

That thought is literally what inspired this au for me in my head I had this idea of binghe saying "am I the asshole for not picking my BEST FRIEND OF TEN YEARS over a woman I've been dating for two weeks?" And it's one of those aita posts that have a deceptive title because everyone reads that and goes of course not! Then the actual post is this:

"I (21M) met my best friend (22M) when I was 11 and he was 12. I used to be really weak and scrawny back then, and he saw me getting bullied at the playground and became the first person who ever stood up for me. After that he asked his parents to hire my mom and we could finally move out of poverty. She was really sick at the time and getting a better paying job really helped her get better. I'm saying all this to show how important he is to me and why anyone should understand that he'll always be the most important person in the world to me.

He's also a bit sickly. Nothing severe but he has asthma and picks up illnesses way easier than most people, so I often take care of him.

Recently he said he wanted to meet my girlfriend, so I agreed the three of us should have dinner together at a nice restaurant. She was weirdly quiet the whole time, staring at the two of us talk. When we left it was late, and the night air was making him shiver, so I gave gege my jacket. I thought we'd all head our separate ways from there but my girlfriend got super moody and said it was my job to drive her back too?? I said "I'm not making gege walk back because you want me to drive you home" and she was about to yell at me when gege stepped between us and said I can drop her off and then take us home. It was annoying because she lives in the opposite direction but I agreed.

When we got to her apartment, instead of saying thanks and leaving, she said she wants to talk to me. Obviously I didn't want to leave my friend alone in the car, but he just smiled and said I should say goodnight to my girlfriend. He's always very sweet and indulgent to the people I date, to the point it's a little frustrating.

Once we were alone, she blew up at me, claiming I ignored her all evening. She got mad at me, saying that gege was wearing jeans and a full sleeve shirt while she was wearing a short dress and I gave my jacket to him instead. I explained to her that his immune system is weak so if he caught a chill he'd be sick way longer than if she got a cold.

That was our first argument. She got over it in a few days. but I didn't want her around gege anymore lest she said something about me "picking him over her" and made him feel guilty for no reason.

Afterwards she invited me to be her plus one at her cousin's wedding. I said I'd go but just two days before gege got really sick. I said I'd stay with him, but he insisted I go to the wedding and he'd get someone else to look after him. He mentioned this guy who I absolutely hate and that's when I knew I couldn't leave him in anyone else's care.

Gege's friend is a terrible influence on him. He's an idiot with no brain and a creep who clearly wants to take advantage of him. I absolutely could not leave the two of them alone when he was so vulnerable so I refused to leave him alone even for a few hours. Gege was too feverish to remember the wedding after the first day so he didn't say anything about it.

I was so busy taking care of him, I forgot to tell her I wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. I didn't bother picking up my phone until gege was back on his feet and saw about 50 missed calls all from her. When I called her back she was screaming so loud, gege could hear her even though she wasn't on speaker. After I hung up on her, he looked so sad and said he was sorry for being the reason I couldn't go. I told him I didn't even want to go and it was just her cousin, but for the last week he's had a perpetual frown on his usually smiling face. I feel so terrible. I want to tell him it's not his fault, of course I'd choose his HEALTH over a date, but he's really beating himself up about it... I hate that I made him feel that way.

Top comment: THAT'S THE PART YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR???? THAT YOUR GEGE FEELS BAD????????? NOT HOW YOU MISTREATED YOUR POOR GIRLFRIEND?????

Second comment: just fuck your best friend instead of making her suffer bro 😭😭

[appleblueberry-pie]

Hello again, I hope you are doing well. I was wondering if you are still open for requests. If so, may I please request for Yandere Nanami wherein his precious captive darling is sick and refuses to be nursed by him

I am 4ever open for requests. I am grateful for the meal. It shall be digested properly.

Let Me Take Care of You.

note: You guys ever been so sick you started crying???

You both knew that this shouldn't go on for any longer. You knew you should've given in a long, long time ago. You've never felt so....terrible from a sickness before. You've never felt this helpless. Weak. But you showing weakness wasn't what destroyed you. You could care less if you looked helpless because the pain and struggle was just that great. You couldn't eat. You could only down liquids and, fuck, you really couldn't speak either. Your lower back hurt. Your arms hurt. Your sides hurt. Your neck hurt. You couldn't rest properly because of the pain. And on top of that, you were extremely fatigued, and dizzy.

During the daytime, you would overheat and even the thinnest shirts with wide-open windows could cool you. But at night, the slightest crack in the window with the millions of blankets you had on top of you couldn't warm you up. It was hell on Earth. And Kento couldn't bare to sit back and watch you struggle any longer. You were his sweetheart. His baby. His everything. And you wouldn't let him help you. It was driving him insane. In the morning, he would watch you move at a snails pace into the kitchen to refill your glass with water. You would avoid eye contact. If he told you good morning, you would reply. But your voice trembled when you spoke, as if it was a task to even make noise. It made him put his newspapers down in extreme concern. But still, you wouldn't let him help you. Take care of you.

It was when he came back for work that he decided he had enough. He thought about it the entire time he was on the clock. He took you in for a reason. He vowed to himself that he would never neglect you and would always take care of you. Yes, he wanted you to be comfortable around him, and yes, he allowed you to set some barriers between the two of you, but you were so sick.

When he walked in the door, all of the lights were off and it was slightly stuffy. The windows were all closed and you obviously didn't eat, seeing the empty kitchen sink with no dirty dishes. He sighs and makes his way to the bathroom. He goes to turn on the light when he hears the soft sound of sobbing from the bedroom. He freezes and turns towards the bedroom door, walking over to sneakily place his ear on it. You're crying. Kento knocks on the door. "Y/n?" Immediately, the sound stops. "Can I come in, please?" You sigh shakily underneath the covers. How the fuck did he hear you? You tell him no. The door creaks open and he softly closes the door behind him.

He walks around to your side of the bed and kneels down to see your puffy face, wet with tears. It breaks his heart knowing he was gone and couldn't comfort you when you were crying like this. "Hey, what's wrong?" He rubs your arm above the blankets and you sniffle. "It's nothing. Please leave me alone." God, you sounded like you were in pain. You could almost see a vein popping out of his neck. You were beginning to stress him out. "Y/n." You shook your head. "No."

His eye twitched and he got into a more comfortable sitting position on the floor. "Sweetie, you know I told you not to keep secrets. Can you please tell me what has you so upset?" It was so painfully obvious what was wrong. There were used tissues scattered on the ground, you had so many blankets, and he could see your sunken in face.

"You're sick."

You used the energy you didn't have to try and turn the other way. You only managed to get yourself onto your back. It was silent between the two of you. You closed your eyes and tried to focus on not crying again, but it was just too much. You didn't want his help. He ruined your life. Kidnapped you, erased your public image, got rid of your phone number. You had nothing but him. You didn't want him. You ignored him. You tried to ignore him. He's right here for you and you just can't help but realize he's quite literally all that you have. It's so humiliating how you have to depend on the only person who you hate that is willingly giving himself to you like this.

A terrible sob rips itself out of your chest and you cover your face with your hands, a migraine reappearing at the strain you place on yourself once more. "I know I'm sick. I fucking know!" You couldn't even properly yell at him, too tired to even try. He frowns, and kneels on the floor, closer to the edge of the bed. "Then why don't you let me take care of you?" He wants to wipe your face of the tears, wipe the sweat off of your forehead. Feel you again. But he's scared he'll stress you out even more.

His hand almost hovers over your face as you cry. Your sad sigh of pain gives him the courage he needs to gently bring the back of his index finger over your face. He wipes a tear that falls down your cheek before bringing his other hand to wipe the other side completely. You let him. His touch was so very gentle. As if he didn't want to scare you away. "I can take care of you...." I am capable, he wanted to add that on. He loved you so much. He would rather fight a thousand curses before seeing you in this state again. He will do almost anything for you. Anything to see you happy. See you smile. He wanted to be fully yours. And he will do anything to prove that to you. Your eyes flutter open when he's done and you look over at him sadly.

Your eyes, so beautiful and beguiling, give him the softest look he's ever gotten from you. It makes his heart skip a beat and he sits up straighter. He would smile at you, but now is obviously not the time for that. "How do you feel? Do you want me to bring you medicine? Are you still in pain?" You look away before making eye contact with him again and nodding. He nods back and responds, "Okay. I will bring you some medicine and more water to drink." He wipes stray hairs off of your face, realizing how much you had to neglect yourself to rest. "I will make you beef stew, as well. You might be hungry, and your body needs energy to survive. I won't let you drink just water. Hopefully you will finish it all, and by then, maybe I could get you cleaned up, if you allow me to." You stare at him silently. He was offering to help you get better. You honestly don't remember the last time anyone has done that for you. But even then, he was still your kidnapper. Still, though, what were you going to do, say no? You hesitate before nodding to him. His face finally softens and he caresses your cheek one more time before forcing himself to stop.

"I love you." A weight is lifted off of his chest when he says those words. He wanted to say it to you in a better moment, but any moment is a good moment rather than when it's too late. He doesn't let you respond and gets up to leave and make you stew, a new fervor in his stride.

[0mysticmidnight0]

~Mystically Broken AU - Chapter 1~

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You trembled as the taxi took you to a dark street, filled with crime. Robbery, Arson, right in the day light. You felt nervous. The taxi stopped at the tallest building. Once you left the taxi and entered the building, you turned around to glance at the Taxi, two people robbed the driver.. You hurried to your destination. You enter the Elevator, hopping nothing wrong happens.

~Flash Back~

You sat in your boss's office, expecting your paycheck for the month. She looked at you rather nervously. "As you know, our company has been slowly crumbling, we've been losing clients and we haven't been strengthening any business ties. Luckily! We have a few people wiling to help us, under a few conditions." You glanced at her nervously. "Who are these people exactly?" She gulped and looked away, She wasn't usually this cautious. You were worried. "You'll find out soon! They arranged a meeting for us to discuss the terms and conditions. You are coming with me since you are our top employee and one of our representatives!" She smiles enthusiastically. It felt odd, you wanted to know more about them. But you felt like she'd avoid the question. "That's great.." You smiled nervously. Why did your fellow representative have to be sick on THIS day?! You knew you should've spent more time in bed..

~Present~

You gulped as you tapped the button on the elevator. The top floor. The elevator door shut loudly. Who were these people? Why was this place so shady and creepy. You had the feeling that whoever your boss made a contract with isn't really a nice guy. The elevator made an abrupt stop as it opened. You walk out of the elevator and looked around. The floor was glass and it looked like an aquarium? You couldn't see any fish until you saw a.. robot shark.. then another and another.. The room was dimly lit and looked up to see the city's four most wanted criminals and your boss looking at you. "You made it!" your boss's voice muffled you were too in shock and you looked at the four criminals infront of you. "Let's get this over with, my time will not be wasted by your incompetence." Donatello, Mechanical genius, One of the smartest and deadly criminals due to his understanding of technology. He creates deadly weapons that cause mass destruction. it was rumored he uses petty criminals for his experiments.. Who am i kidding, he probably does. He glared you down like he couldn't tolerate your presence. "Donnie, stop your growling. You're gonna scare away the prey." Leonardo, One of if not the person with highest bodycount. He's killed hundreds, thousands to get what he wants. But he always manages to hide the evidence. One of the best Manipulaters. He's hard to catch, people say he just vanishes. He nudges his twin while laughing. He looks at you like he wanted to devour you whole. "Why don't you idiots shut up! Don't listen to them."

Raphael, a literal tank that could take hundreds of people at once. The strongest when it came to raw strength and battle strategy. If you ever cross him or do something that upsets him, prepare to deal with his terrible and DEADLY temper. He glared at Donatello and Leonardo as they shut their mouths. You hear a voice from behind you.. You gasped when you saw who it was. "Well, don't you look fun?"

MichelAngelo, The best at deceiving others and persuading them to do his bidding. He locks people up for fun and calls them his playthings. He kills anyone who steps in his way. He commits daily vandalism. He wouldn't kill anyone right away, he'd slowly drive them to the brink of insanity because it's fun to watch them fall apart. What had your boss gotten you into?! "Now, take a seat. Cynthia here tells us you have experience addressing crowds and dealing with rumors about your company. Dealing with any evidence regarding your companies misdeeds." It was true you were the one dealing with false rumors and false evidence.. That's how you became one of the representatives. But you had a gut feeling they were gonna take advantage of that. "I have been the one dealing with those issues but that was because they were mostly false! I can't defend something when i know it's wrong." You wanted to stand your ground. That was a bad choice. you turned to your side and gulp. There was a sword or katana.. an odachi. There was an odachi to your neck. "All of us have to do things we don't want to do to survive in this cruel world. Do as we say and we'll keep our end of the deal, alright?" Your boss, Cynthia just looks at you nervously, her gaze telling you to accept their condition. "Or we'll have to slowly destroy you one by one.. " His laugh echoing through the room. "Make this quick so i don't have to spend another moment with these imbeciles." you gulped and slowly nodded as you still felt the Odachi's sharp end to your throat. "We need you to destroy all criminal records. No matter how many times i delete it from the governments system, the people of new york still spread these awful rumors. who knew word of mouth could be so, infuriating. we need you to-"

"Ughh.. Donnie! English!" "Just get to the point already!" "I was JUST getting to that. We need you to accompany us to some governmental parties this year. They host four parties each year. One of us will accompany you and we need you to speak for us and claim our innocence." "But you aren't innocent! I-" You felt the Odachi go closer to your throat. "Hold your tongue." "Precisely, Complaints of the people to the government make us a target. So much so that they arranged an elite super force or a group of highly trained professionals after us." "We ain't getting anythin' done when we knows a buncha' creeps watchin' us!" "Do you think you can get the job done? It is pretty fun!" Your boss looked at you apologetically.

You nodded and the Odachi was pulled away and you took a sigh of relief.. What did you get yourself into.?

[ihateapbiology]

salt In the wound

You’re Juliens girlfriend and watching the boys make out during salt in the wound hurts.

You doom scrolled on twitter watching all the live videos of the boys at the end of salt in the wound. You felt literal pains in your heart every time you watched your girlfriend lock lips with either Phoebe or Lucy. It had been every week you saw this, while you only saw your girlfriend while she was on tour like once a month. You had been with her for four years, and always felt secured and loved but it just hurt and damn it you felt insecure. At least she was coming home tomorrow you assured yourself. You texted her when the show was done and called her to congratulate her about the end of tour.

“I’m so so proud of you baby I’ll let you go drive to the hotel but I’m so excited to see you tomorrow.” You softly say. ””I couldn’t have done it without you my love you’re my rock. I love you.” She says time zones away.

As you hang up you can’t stop yourself from spiraling. What even were you to her, what differentiated you from her friends, you love her more than she loves you, she’s going to leave you. You feel yourself quickly spiraling and try to calm yourself. You have a restless night.

You’re woken up by kisses peppering your face. Julien. “My love.” She coos.

Your eyes light up and you pull her into a hug “you’re home. You’re really home. I love you.”

That’s when your eyes fall onto her neck, the hickeys still there and you feel your heart break even more

”Hey hey what’s wrong?” she says confused.

“Nothing.” You say shortly not wanting to feel overdramatic.

“Honey I can tell it’s something look at me” she softly says.

“It’s just….god I’m gonna sound so whiney.” You mumble.

“Sweetheart just tell me.”

“I’m your girlfriend, not Phoebe or Lucy, I am.” you softly start.

“I know…?” She says confused.

“But you guys kiss and make out just like we do. So I just…idk what separates me from them if anything.”

You refuse to make eye contact and immediately feel terrible. Who were you to tell her what she can and cannot do with her friends?

“I’m sorry that was stupid never mind.” You quickly modify.

“Hey no I’m just…love…you’re my life partner. You’re who I want to cultivate a life with. I don’t have sexual or romantic attraction towards them when I kiss them it’s not how I feel when I kiss you babe. I kiss them sure out of love but that love is completely different from our love. I don’t view you just as someone to kiss or touch, you’re my girlfriend for more than that so kissing someone else to me in a non romantic way has never felt like it undermining our relationship.” she says as she gently caresses your hair. “You’re my girl. Not only my best friend but the person I want to wake up to everyday. I love you so so so deeply it’s a love I have for no other. I love Phoebe the same way I love Lucy but I love no one else like you.”

You are at a loss for words real quick. Wow. “Thank you thank you for not undermining how I felt.” you say choking back tears. “I’ve just missed you so much and..I just don’t want to lose you…I didn’t want you to realize you didn’t need me or something.”

“Hey sweet girl, I’m never leaving you ever. We made it through tour, that proves my point. I missed you too everyday but now we’re here together.” She kisses the tip of your nose and you smile. “There’s that beautiful smile.”

“Come into bed?” You smile moving over to your side happy to be sharing the bed once more.

She immediately cuddles up to you.

“Ew you smell like airport.” you giggle into her chest.

“Mmm you love it.” She jokingly holds her sleeve up to your nose.

“No but I do love you.” You grin.

“I love you too sweetheart.”

You turn off the light and are about to go to sleep when she says “oh and tomorrow I’ll make sure to show you another major difference between my love for my friends and for you” and teasingly runs her hand up your leg.

[casualgay-mer]

Keymaster appreciation post

There's something to be said about his initial design and I will say this something. We are taking the original game as an example, but will touch on the remaster too.

The design

How the fuck did Poki do it? How can you make a character that looks like an absolute dork AND kinda intimidating at the same time? I tell you how, but before that - let's examine these two faces.

Unfortunately, Poki clearly had a trouble with the Keymaster staying on model, I call the first version "squarey" (you can see this version of his face during the first dialogue and during KM wait in the truck) and the second's "long-ey" (you can see this one everywhere else) but I will say that I generally prefer the second version - the long face one.

Why? The look is a bit more human and not "I don't have no fucking eyelids", the eyebrows are so much prominent, which adds to the look, and the bang is a bit longer.

So what's so cool and actually funny about his design?

He combines two archetypes: a general creep (sick (not in a cool way) eye and skin colors (dude may wanna check his liver tho), an indication of sunken eyes, the stache) and a coolass emoboy (this fucking haircut, smug talk, drama). Like these two guys fused together:

Like dude what the fuck

Also his skin color is fucking sickening you know why? Ever tried to rub your skin along - say - shoulder? Ever got these partricles of dead skin? Have you ever saw what color does it get, when you accumulate it enough in your hand?

That's right! They are morbidly greay-ishly green. Exact hue of his skin. THE DUDE HAS SO MUCH DEAD SKIN - ppls kinda shed - ON HIS BOD IT MIGHT AS WELL BE 20% of his body weight.

The voice/s

Original VA for Keymaster goes for a top notch mix of freako and smug. He sounds both flirtatious and a biiit unstable, like a person who tries their best to hit you up but clearly haven't slept for like 3 days - the tone and mannerisms are all over the place, the voice itself is the perfect balance of semi-deep and whispery. I love this performance - it confuses you into whether or not can you trust the guy . An original performance and the one to be respected.

(sorry for the little snippet of another voice at the end - this let's player doesn't know how to shut up and I am too lazy to record it again from a different source)

Russian VA for Keymaster - who based his performance off the original one - DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD?? Dat voice is deep as FUCK, thicc even, you can't call the voice "thicc" but this one just IS. The whispery part is gone absolutely, KM sounds kinda normal even, but holy shit did the VA turned it up to 100. This one is a favourite of mine, absolutely. I don't even give a shit about what he says, this is some ASMR shit. Absolute 0 wonder why he tricked most of russian let's players into actually trusting him. The only criticism I may ha

English VA went to the opposite direction of the spectrum, he went all fancy kind of dracula over the top performance, kinda like, WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY and while he does sound unhinged, there is no doubt he's a sicko actually. That, or just a theater kid. But no shame on this actor tho, just bc I don't really like this particular performance, doesn't mean it's TERRIBLE ok?

Basicly I made a chart:

Go with your preference of choice, my dudes.

The personality and motives

Holy fucking shit so hear me out.

I don't like him around the fact that he's a flity pretty possible serial killer.

I like him for the fact of being RESENTFUL about it, possibly hating it about himself.

When he killed the pastor it clearly was made on impulse, and he hated it so much that he locked himself - and therefore Edna - up. Despite the smarts he's clearly impulsive in nature - like getting off to drive a Dr's car ABSOLUTELY NOT KNOWING HOW TO and ONLY THINKING AFTER THE FACT, there is like nothing going on in this head.

I am not excusing the guy's actions, but there is a big chance he just went a full on Sam Gordon just with no curse involved.

...

HOLY SHIT IS KEY MASTER A BLACK MIRROR REFERENCE

THE FIVE KEYS SAM HAS TO FIND, THE SURROUNDINGS, THE "OOPS FUCK I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL PPL I HAVE ISSUES I HATE MYSELF *commits a sewer side*" AND THE LOOKS?

Okay I am just overthinking it at this point. BUUUT THIS GAME WAS MADE IN GOOD OLD 2003 AND PRETTY BELOVED IN GERMANY AND WE HAVE WALKING REFERENCES LIKE PROFESSOR NOK SOOOOOOOO

...

So anyways.

The conculsion

Key Master is great not because he's your stereotypical mass murderer POS. There is a lot of unpack and a lot of empathy to be felt if you try to think on how come he ended up the way he did.

He actively hates himself and doesn't enjoy the way he is which is - unfortunately - preeeetty much deserved.

I will write more abt the dude later - especially on my fav theory that says he's not real

[jesterofcringe]

Might I get a travis x fortnite gamer reader... 🙏🙏🙏🙏 I beg of you

Ready Up! Travis x FortniteGamer!Reader

i havent played fortnite in forever MY FUCKING ACCOUNT GOT BANNED so im getting all of this from fortnite tiktoks sorry if its inaccurate lmao

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

★Travis loves playing with you but he deadass sucks at the game. He's convinced he's really good and constantly gloats whenever you guys get a win as if he did all the work but the truth is you usually end up carrying him.

★"He's low, trust!"

★"TRAVIS HE'S AT FULL HP-"

★Although he'd never admit it, Travis LOVES coming to your house to watch you play. He lowkey really likes cuddling with you but his ego gets in the way of asking, so watching you play gives him the perfect excuse.

★[You figured it out a while ago due to the way he'll come over and immediately pull you into his arms while barely paying attention to the screen even though he claims to be there just for the game]

★When you play together, Travis always picks the "manly" skins [aka he picks the dumb skins that only middle school boys think are cool, and you like to tease him about it]. You like matching with him and he pretends to find it lame but he actually thinks it's really cute but doesn't want to express that.

★[You find it especially funny to chose some super girly skin when you play in creative mode because he always gets super mad when he gets clipped by a character covered in glitter.]

★Whenever you die first and have to spectate Travis it's either hilarious or absolute torture- usually both.

★"I'm gonna sneak up behind this dude and picaxe them-"

★"YOU HAVE A SNIPER RIFLE???"

★Travis has a love hate relationship with cars- ever since the new season if you acquire a car he considers it god but if you don't he complains about it the whole match.

★"WHY AM I FIGHTING THESE PEOPLE BY MYSELF??"

★"I'M ABOUT TO PULL UP IN A CAR HOLD ON-"

★*travis flies past the battle at full speed, effectively accomplishing nothing*

★Even before the new update Travis has always been terrible with cars- you can't name the amount of times you've lost a match because you let him drive and he drove straight into a gas station.

★"Are you playing with Van?"

★"Yeah, say hi-"

★"-What does she have that I don't?"

★"AIM."

★You guys have lost a match once because he got a boogie bomb and didn't know what it did so he accidentally threw it at your feet while you were fighting someone.

★Travis was fucking stolen once. Like, he got downed and the enemy just, picked him up and got in a car. You're pretty sure you've never laughed as hard as you did when you ran to get him back as he yelled over the mic.

★You've also sent him a few group emotes because you think it's cute to do them while you wait for the match to start, but sometimes he'll be a dick about it and awkwardly walk away while your character stands there with their arms out for a hug.

★[someone else ran up to you and finished the emote with you and he got SUPER JEALOUS. like he pushed them away with his pic and made you do the emote again so he could do it with you.]

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── sorry this one is a bit shorter lol i dont have an actual excuse this time

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 19: In the Bleak Midwinter

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Grace Burgess x OC

Summary: Tragedy, the kind in which neither of them will ever fully recover, finally strikes.

Word Count: 6,418

Notes: I am so, so sorry in advance for this one, guys. Warnings for depictions of canonical major character death, blood, polyamory, and violence.  

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 4: I'll Break Your Heart

“What the fuck is that?” Lucy asked. Tommy looked up from where he’d been fumbling with his cigarettes, following her gaze to the two trucks parked outside the betting shop. His brows pinched. “Are those coppers?”

Cocking his head, Tommy narrowed his eyes. “That’s not normal.”

“No. It isn’t. You think it has to do with the Russian business?”

“Maybe,” his eyes darted to the betting shop down the road. “Right. Listen to me. I want you to go home.”

“What? Are you serious?” she bristled. Tommy sighed.

“Lucy, if things go bad…I don’t want to have to worry about bailing you out of jail too.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not leaving you to face down a bunch of coppers on your own.”

“I won’t be on my own. I’ll have Arthur and John with me. They should still be at the stop,” he huffed at her unconvinced expression. “Lucy, love, please.”

Her jaw clenched at the idea of being left out of the action. “I’m not going home. But,” she quickly added, when he opened his mouth to argue, “I’ll stay out here, watch what happens. If they take you to the station, I’ll wait outside for you.”

Tommy closed his mouth, looking her up and down, then nodded. “Don’t try to interfere.”

“Okay.”

He squeezed her hand, and turned away, heading towards the betting shop. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she chanced one last glance at the trucks parked on the edge of the street before turning away, slipping down an alley and zigzagging her way around until she was at a spot where she could watch the front of the betting shop without being seen. It didn’t take long for the coppers to file out of their truck, breaking down the door to the shop and bursting in, shouting. Lucy thought that she might have heard what sounded like Esme screaming, and it took nearly all of her self control not to rush across the road to help.

A moment later, they marched Tommy out. His eyes scanned over the street until he spotted her peeking out from the alley. Their eyes met, and he shook his head once, barely undetectable, to the silent question in her eyes. And much as it killed her, she did nothing as they shoved him into a truck and began to drive away.

Melting back away into the darkness of the alley, she began to walk briskly to where they’d left the car, starting up the engine and fumbling at the wheel. Her movements with the car were clumsy and uncoordinated as she drove it down the road towards the police station. Stupid thing. She had never been good with driving cars. The tires squealed as she brought it to a stop close to the outside of the station and shut it off, wincing at the sound and thankful that no coppers seemed to have noticed. There was a reason why Tommy never let her drive.

Opening the door, Lucy hopped from her seat, leaning up against the side of the car after closing the door behind her, pulling her watch from her pocket to check the time. Her teeth bit into her bottom lip nervously, weighing her options as she tucked the watch away. Trying to storm into the station probably wouldn’t be the smartest of moves, but the idea of any number of terrible things they could be doing to Tommy inside while she just stood out there helplessly made her stomach clench. Trying to stifle her jitters, she pulled a cigarette from the worn case she kept them stored away in, lighting it and letting her thumb swipe along the white stick anxiously. The heel of her right foot began to tap rhythmically against the cobblestones. She had always hated the feeling of not knowing what to do.  

Come on, Tom. Come on. Please be okay.

She had just finished her first cigarette, mind weighting between the options of having a second one or just saying fuck it and just storming into the station anyway, consequences be damned, when the door flew open and Tommy rushed out.

But the sight of him did little to reassure her like it usually did. His face was ashen, eyes wide and panic-stricken in a way that made her blood run cold. He spotted her, standing by the car, and ran across the street to her, rushing around to get into the driver’s seat of the car.

“What happened?” she asked, cigarette dropping from her fingers to be forgotten on the cobblestones as she climbed into the car, barely getting her door closed before they were taking off down the road. “Tommy?”

Still he didn’t say a word, eyes focused straight ahead, mind clearly very faraway. In some dark, terrible place, if the drawn look on his face was any indication. 

“Tom, what did they want?” she tried again, keeping her voice gentle so as to not spook him anymore than he already was. Tommy rubbed a hand down his face before returning it to rest with the other upon the steering wheel. The car was traveling almost concerningly fast; barreling down the streets with enough speed to cause the entire to make a noise of complaint.

“Hughes wanted to talk to me,” he said it just as she was beginning to wonder if he hadn’t heard her, his voice tight with fear. It made her a chill creep down her spine. Tommy was rarely scared; at least not like this.

“What did he say?”

He swallowed roughly, in a way that looked painful. Eyes still focused straight ahead at the road.

“He said I’m not to see Ada again. Or they’ll kill her.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow. The death threat was certainly not good, but it didn’t seem to be the type of thing to elicit such a fearful, frantic response from Tommy. It took more than death threats to rattle him.

“And then he told me to check under Charlie’s pillow.”

It felt like some sort of icy, terrible thing had reached into her chest and locked its cold fingers tight around her heart, constricting until it tightened painfully in her chest, practically leaping into the back of her throat with fear. 

No, please. Not their boy. Not their sweet little boy.

“What did–what did he mean by that, Tommy?”

“I don’t know.”

“Was that supposed to be taken as a death threat, or–”

“I don’t fucking know, Lucy!” he snapped, and then immediately seemed to recoil in on himself, wiping at his lips with his hand. “Sorry,” he apologized, voice much softer. Lucy scooted a little closer to him, pressing her shoulder to his in what she hoped would provide some sort of comfort. Though whether it was for him or for herself, she couldn’t be sure. 

“It’s alright.”

“If anything happens to him, Luce…”

“It won’t,” she hoped that she sounded more confident than she felt. “Arrow House is safe.”

“I want you to make double checks on all of the staff. Their backgrounds, their current associations. Just to be sure.”

“Okay.”

Neither of them said much else as the car bounced along the road in the direction of the mansion. Lucy’s heart beat like a great drum inside her chest, the pounding hard and loud in her ears as she fought back the growing panic in her throat. By the time Tommy brought the car to a screeching halt outside Arrow House’s doors, she felt as though her lungs weren’t taking in enough air, throat too tight with worry to properly drag in oxygen. 

They both jumped from the car, not bothering to remove their coats as they raced through the house and up the stairs towards Charlie’s darkened room. Lucy made a tiny sound of relief at the sight of the little boy sleeping peacefully in his crib, not even stirred as Tommy started to riffle around under his pillow. His hand pulled away with a little slip of paper clutched in his fingers. Lucy peeked over his shoulder, fingers twisting together. It was a business card for a crematorium. And scrawled on the back, in looping black ink, it read: Charles Shelby R.I.P.

Tommy started to pace, back and forth across the floor with the card still clutched in his hands. Charlie began to quietly make noises in his sleep, stirring as if sensing their distress. Lucy shushed him gently, reaching out to lightly stroke a hand over his soft head of hair. Tommy joined her a moment later, bending down to check on the still sleeping boy before tearing himself away again, going to the wardrobe and pressing both hands against it, head bowed.

“Is everything all right?”

They both started at the sound of Grace’s voice from the doorway. She looked between them curiously, joining Lucy at Charlie’s crib, glancing down at the baby.

“Yes,” Tommy said, which might have been more convincing had he not sounded so out of breath. “Everything’s fine,” he went to her. “Everything’s fine,” he repeated, touching Grace’s shoulder. Grace looked at him, expression perplexed. “Yeah,” he sounded like he was trying so hard to convince himself. Grace glanced at Lucy from across the crib, and must have seen something in her eyes that begged her not to ask. At least not right now.

“You promised, Tommy,” Grace said, voice low and gentle, but also firm as she turned back to him. There was a pause. A space in time where there was nothing but silence and Tommy’s heavy breathing. Lucy’s fingers were still trembling a little as she continued to stroke them through Charlie’s feather-soft hair. More to soothe herself than the baby who had already settled back in peaceful, deep sleep. “I trust you,” Grace finally said, the weight of the words heavy in the dark room. Tommy made a small noise, barely anything more than an exhale of breath, and pulled Grace into his arms, hooking his chin against her shoulder as he hugged her tightly. From over her shoulder, his eyes met Lucy’s, and something passed between them. Something that she could not entirely describe. An understanding. A fear that was better left unspoken.

“I trust you, Tommy,” Grace repeated softly as he pulled away.

“Yes,” he took a step backwards, until his back hit the wardrobe behind him with a thump. “He’s fine,” he gestured to Charlie. “He’s fine.”

Charlie stirred under Lucy’s hand, and roused, letting out a few tiny cries. Lucy hushed him, leaning more fully over him and running her hand along his small back. 

“Hush, sweet boy,” she whispered, and he settled once more. Nodding to herself, taking some comfort in the knowledge that he was okay, she straightened from where she’d been crouched over the crib. Tommy’s footsteps thumped away as he headed for the door and she went to follow him, his hand smoothing over her arm for a moment as they took a step into the hall. But Grace was still lingering at the crib, staring down at the baby, and they paused at the realization that she hadn’t followed them. 

“Grace,” Tommy called to her, taking a step back into the room. “Grace,” he reached out a hand to her. “We gotta go,” he whispered, ushering her towards the doorway of another room. Lucy followed Grace, glancing over her shoulder to see that Tommy had paused, just standing there looking at Charlie’s crib.

“Tommy,” she murmured, and he seemed to startle back to life, head turning to look at her. Lucy gave a little jerk of her head. “Come on, love.”

Wetting his lips, he blinked hard, then nodded, approaching her until she could grab his hand. He clutched at her fingers tightly, squeezing. 

∗ ∗ ∗ 

Lucy adjusted the neckline of her dress, fingers smoothing along the deep red fabric. It was simple, but elegant, sleeveless and leaving most of her back exposed. A little loose flowing in the top, but cinched in severely at the waist by a black cord that tied at the small of her back. The material was soft against her skin. Swinging her hips back and forth to watch the way that the near floor length skirt swooshed with her movement, Lucy smiled softly to herself, snatching up the gold, dangling earrings she’d set out, embedded with glimmering red garnets. She slipped them expertly through the holes in each ear and fastened them, fluffing her red curls one last time before she opened up the jewelry box sitting on her vanity, fingers running lightly over the huge red stone that gleamed up at her from its space settled in the divot made for it within the box.

She bit her lip, then immediately let it go and glanced up into the mirror to make sure that she hadn’t ruined her lipstick. The jewel was so beautiful, she was half afraid to touch it. Scooping it up by its golden chain, she held the necklace up to the light, watching as the red hue of the garnet seemed to deepen. It was heavy and cold against her chest as she locked the chain around her neck, allowing the massive gemstone to rest just below her collarbone.

Sitting down in the little chair in front of her vanity, she scowled slightly as she slipped her feet into the heels she would be torturing herself with for the rest of the night. Ugh. It wasn’t fair. All the men got to wear flat dress shoes that didn’t inflict pain on them.

Standing, she checked herself over one last time in the full-length mirror, smoothing a hand down her dress, nodding to herself. All she had left to do was tug on the black gloves that went up past her elbows and snatch up her little clutch. Before leaving the room she grabbed the black fur she’d flung over the back of the chair, draping it carefully over her shoulders to keep her warm. Stepping into the master bedroom, she found Grace just finishing getting ready herself, adjusting the way that the huge blue sapphire laid on her chest while Mary touched up her hair. She was more comfortable letting the staff help her get ready. Lucy still hadn’t gotten used to it; preferring to just do it all herself.

“Hey,” she smiled over at her. “Are you almost ready?”

“Just about,” Grace smiled over her shoulder at her. “Thank you, Mary,” she dismissed the housekeeper, who nodded at them politely and headed for the door. Lucy took her spot behind Grace, wrapping her arms around her and kissing the back of her neck.

“You look pretty.”

“Thanks,” Grace giggled, turning around to face her, stroking a gloved hand over her hair. “So do you.”

Lucy looked at the floor bashfully. “You don’t think it’s too obvious with us wearing near matching necklaces?” she asked, glancing down at the garnet resting coolly on her chest.

“Who cares if it’s too obvious. You aren’t taking it off; it looks marvelous on you,” Grace stroked her fingertips over the deep red jewel.

“People might talk,” Lucy warned. It wasn’t like they had been all that incredibly subtle as of late anyway. Grace just rolled her eyes fondly. 

“Let them talk, love. What they have to say is of no consequence anyway,” she kissed her, lips firm and leaving no room for argument in her statement, and when she pulled back it was to smile that beautiful smile that left a dimple in her cheek. “Come on. Tommy’s probably waiting for us.”

She looped her arm with Lucy’s, beginning to tug her towards the hall, eyes sparkling joyfully. With a breathless laugh Lucy let Grace pull her along, the pair of them giggling quietly to each other as they descended the staircase, making their way to the front door. Grace went to sit in the backseat of the car, pouting when Lucy pulled away from her to go sit up in the front.

“There’s plenty of room for the three of us to sit in the back.”

“Only if I sit on your lap, love.”

“I wouldn’t be complaining.”

Lucy laughed, shaking her head. “I think that the prospective donors would have something to say about that when we roll up to the venue.”

Grace continued to pout a little, but let her go with a peck to the cheek. Getting settled in the passenger seat with her clutch settled in her lap, Lucy twisted around to look at Grace in the backseat just as Tommy strode out the front doors, walking around the car and opening the door to slide into the space next to Grace, greeting her with a kiss and wrapping his arm around her. His eyes darted to meet Lucy’s as the car began to drive away, brows furrowing into a rather put-out expression.

“What’re you doing all the way up there?” he asked, pouting in a rather similar way to how Grace had moments earlier. Lucy huffed and rolled her eyes fondly.

“Am I the only one of us who has remembered the importance of subtly?” she laughed. Tommy narrowed his eyes, leaning forward and taking her chin in his hand so he could kiss her.

“I don’t give a fuck about subtly when you’re over there looking like that, love.”

Lucy snorted, but let her fingers twist in the soft material of the white scarf he had thrown over his shoulders, pulling him closer for another kiss. He grinned at her in a way that made him look almost boyish as she let him go, leaning back against Grace, who was beaming brightly as she watched them. 

Grace had gone all-out with the venue. The ballroom was on the ground floor of an expensive hotel. With gorgeous crystal chandeliers, waiters carrying trays of drinks, and elaborate floral arrangements, it was the type of high-brow event they had only ever been able to dream of hosting before. Lucy smiled pleasantly as they passed a few men dressed in expensive tuxedos hovering near the entryway, their hats bobbing as they nodded politely. She tried to hide her pout when Tommy handed over his scarf at the coat check. She had quite liked how it looked on him. 

“You really do look nice,” Tommy whispered into her ear, hand ghosting along her waist, eyes clearly appreciating the view of her bare back. Lucy felt herself flush. She hadn’t been wholly sure about the dress when she picked it out. Her back was heavily marred with scars. Most of them old and faded, but still prominent enough to not go unnoticed against her fair skin, and she’d been nervous about putting them on display. But Grace had been overwhelmingly encouraging when Lucy had tried it on for her when they’d gone dress shopping together, and it was so difficult to bring herself to say no to her.

It was comforting to know that Tommy also clearly approved of how she looked in it. 

“Thanks.”

She followed him and Grace out to the main ballroom, Grace soon peeling off from them to go chat up some potential new donors. Lucy remained closer to Tommy, not entirely comfortable enough to be left on her own in a sea of unfamiliar faces. Both of her lovers were notably better than her at this; flashing charming smiles and engaging in empty small talk all in the name of securing a donation. Stretching up on her toes to examine the faces in the crowd, she spotted several other Shelby family members milling around, mostly chatting with each other rather than venturing out into the gathering of strangers surrounding them. 

“Tommy,” Grace popped back up beside them, tapping him lightly on the arm. A heavy-set man was behind her, smiling through a thick mustache at them. “He’s the leader of the Birmingham City Council,” she introduced.

“Hello, Tommy,” Danny smiled.

“Hi, Danny,” Tommy shook his hand.

“Miss. Winters,” Danny turned to her.

“Nice to see you again,” Lucy shook his hand warmly, relieved to finally be conversing with a familiar face. The two men began to chat about business while Grace’s smile remained in place, but the expression in her eyes was taken aback.

“You know each other?” she asked. Danny stammered out an explanation, before quickly pivoting to a congratulations regarding the wedding. Grace’s smile, which had begun to fade, bloomed back into full force as she nodded her thanks. Next to her, Lucy noticed that Tommy had gone very tense, eyes focused straight ahead. Following his gaze, she felt her blood go cold at the sight of Hughes and another man who she recognized as Patrick Jarvis, MP, striding through the entryway. Lucy felt her heart rate skyrocket, palms growing clammy. What the fuck were they doing here?

She could distantly hear Danny take note of the priest and MP’s arrival, excitedly explaining to Grace who they were. Hughes’s eyes landed on them, zeroing in on Tommy from across the ballroom. Lucy felt her stomach turn, throat dry as she swallowed. 

“Did you invite them, Grace?” Tommy asked, not taking his eyes off of Hughes, as if they were locked in some kind of twisted staring contest. 

“Their names sound familiar,” Grace admitted, eyes narrowed. “They were recommended by the Lord Mayor.”

“Oh. On your ‘best people of the city’ list, eh?” Tommy said bitterly. Lucy could barely bite back the sound of disgust building behind her lips. Danny made an offer to introduce them that Tommy waved off, already beginning to march towards them.

“That’s all right, Danny. I’ll introduce myself,” he said. “You stay here,” he added, glancing at Lucy when she made a move to follow him. She tried not to let her shoulders sag too much in relief.

“Happy to,” she watched him walk away towards the slimy priest with her heart in her throat. Spotting a waiter from the corner of her eye, she snagged a glass from the tray he was carrying and took a bountiful sip of the liquor it contained. Danny made small talk with Grace for a moment more before excusing himself with a good natured smile to say hello to someone he recognized across the ballroom.

“What was that about?” Grace asked, as soon as they were alone.

“What was what about?” Lucy asked innocently, taking another sip from her drink.

“You know what.”

She sighed, rubbing at her brow with her free hand. “Nothing for you to worry about. Really.”

“You don’t like Hughes.”

“I’m an ex-Catholic, Grace. I don’t particularly like priests in general,” her eyes scanned over the guests surrounding them, looking for any other unexpected faces. “Oh, shit.”

“What?” Grace asked, expression turning from curious to alarmed. But there was no time to explain. The dark haired, extravagantly dressed woman was already making her way towards them.

“Russians,” was all Lucy had time to get out in explanation. Grace’s eyes grew wide. “Just play nice. It’ll be fine,” she forced a smile onto her face. “Hello, Tatiana.”

“Miss. Winters,” Tatiana said in her thick Russian accent, dark eyes looking her up and down. 

“Please, just Lucy is fine,” she gestured to Grace. “Grace, this is Duchess Tatiana Petrovna. Tatiana, this is Grace Shelby.”

“A Duchess?” Grace’s eyes grew round with excitement. “Truly?”

“Yes,” Tatiana smiled in a way that was more like a bearing of teeth. “You’re Mr. Shelby’s wife?”

“I am.”

Tatiana’s eyes darted between them, lips settling in a smirk. “I see.”

Lucy busied herself downing the rest of her glass, setting it on the tray of a passing waiter.

“Lovely sapphire,” Tatiana was commenting to Grace when Lucy turned back to them. “Where did you get it?”

“My husband gifted it to me,” Grace smiled sweetly. 

“Hm. It just looks familiar, is all.”

“You think it’s Russian?”

“Quite possibly,” Tatiana’s eyes slithered away from Grace to focus on Lucy. “Yours isn’t,” she remarked, eyeing the garnet resting on Lucy’s chest. “I wonder if that fact holds some significance?” 

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “Other that I prefer garnets over other gemstones?”

Tatiana giggled. “Just an observation,” her eyes glittered with mad mirth.

In the sea of the crowd, Lucy spotted Tommy shouldering his way towards them.

“Tommy,” Grace called to him. She nodded to Tatiana, introducing them. Tommy took one look at the Russian, seemingly unsurprised at her presence as he nodded in unenthusiastic greeting and cleared his throat. Lucy met his eyes from across the little circle the four of them had formed. He looked annoyed. Clearly whatever chat he’d had with Hughes and Jarvis hadn’t gone well. Grace raised an eyebrow at his lukewarm reaction, an analytical edge entering her eyes as the conversation continued. The eyes of the spy she had once been, darting between the three of them, clearly trying to puzzle out their connection to the duchess.    

“You should have kissed my hand, Mr. Shelby,” the sudden entitlement in Tatiana’s voice took Lucy by surprise, her chin lifted as she thrusted her hand out towards him. 

For a moment, all three of them froze. Grace’s face went stony. Even as the smile remained on her lips, all of the warmth was sucked from her eyes, as if swallowed up by a vortex. Lucy glanced between them anxiously, suddenly itching to have a cigarette between her fingers, its smoke filling her lungs soothingly. Tommy stared at Tatiana, eyes cold. 

“Forgive me,” Lucy didn’t miss the subtle layer of sarcasm in his voice, before he dipped his head and pressed a kiss to the back of Tatiana’s gloved hand. Tatiana held eye contact with Grace the entire time, lips set in a smug smirk. Lucy rolled her eyes. Grace looked like she was fighting back a scowl. 

“She was asking about my sapphire,” Grace said when he had pulled back.

“I thought I recognized it,” Tatiana crooned.

“She said it was Russian. My husband has business in Russia. Perhaps you know about it, Tatiana?” Grace was clearly feeling things out, trying to piece it all together. Lucy swallowed, suddenly aware that she may be about to come to some very wrong, very bad conclusions.   

“Well, tonight is not a night for business, eh?”

Lucy winced at Tommy’s response. Could have been worse, she supposed. Then she took a look at Grace’s face. Could have been better, too.

“Is that why you were in the concert hall for ten minutes?” Grace demanded. Her voice was light and cheery, a smile still in place. But the blue of her eyes was that of storm clouds building in the sky. Lucy felt her shoulders draw into themselves like they always did whenever Grace and Tommy fought or bickered. It wasn’t often, but it never failed to make her feel awkward; wanting to help them smooth over whatever was bothering them while also fearing that any attempt at interference on her part would only make things worse. 

Thank God they never fought because of her. She was pretty sure that she would actually die from the mortification and guilt of it if they did.  

“I think people are ready for dinner now, Grace,” Tommy tried to side-step, but the damage had already been done. 

“No, no. I’m not done pumping people for money.”

Lucy felt her brows fly up at the wording.

“What is ‘pump for money?’” Tatiana asked with what was clearly mock confusion. 

“It’s what I do everyday,” Tommy said self-deprecatingly, looking like he hoped that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.  

“Fuck it, I need a cigarette,” Lucy muttered, fumbling with her clutch. Just to cut the tension before it killed her. She pulled one out and lit it, inhaling the smoke, grateful for the distraction. Much better.   

“You know each other, do you?” Grace finally went in for the kill, looking between Tommy, Tatiana, and Lucy pointedly. 

“Not like that,” Lucy muttered quietly, looking at the floor, hoping that would somehow help to diffuse things. It didn’t. Grace just continued to go back and forth with Tatiana, each statement growing more aggressive than the last. From the corner of her eye, Lucy saw Tommy make a gesture to someone she couldn’t see. She wondered if he would forgive her if she bolted and left him to be fought over by the two women. She shot a glance his way, waiting until she caught his eye. He took one look at her face and narrowed his gaze.

Don’t you dare, he said to her, silently. Lucy huffed, just barely discernible enough that only he would notice.

Fine. But know that I only endure this awkwardness because I love you.

“All right, enough,” Tommy finally declared. Oh, thank you. “Ada,” he called to his sister, who came swooping in to whisk Grace away to talk to a Dowager. She went a little unwillingly, and with a promise to Tatiana that they would be speaking later.  

Lucy stubbed out her cigarette, sighing miserably. She so did hate it when Grace was upset. 

“Going to the factory tomorrow is a mistake,” Tommy said to Tatiana once they were alone. Or as alone as they could be in a crowd of people. Lucy shot a surprised look his way.

What’s this, now?

He looked back at her levelly. I’ll tell you later.

“Nevertheless, we will go,” Tatiana seemed unbothered. “Also, my uncle ordered me to seduce you to give us an advantage. But with a beautiful wife like that it will be difficult, no?” her eyes darted to Lucy. “Perhaps your little Red Demon here can give me some pointers,” she smiled, honey-sweet. Complete with bees ready and waiting to sting. 

“Tomorrow is a mistake,” Tommy soldiered on, ignoring her statement. Lucy watched them go back and forth on the issue, digging her hands into the soft dark fur that surrounded her shoulders. This evening had not gone at all like she had hoped it would. 

“I would fuck you for the cause. What do you think of that?” Tatiana was asking Tommy.

“I think you should not drink vodka with champagne,” he said in a dark voice, beginning to walk past her, hand out to gently brush along Lucy’s back and guide her with him. She let out a breath of relief.

“Does your wife know that the sapphire she is wearing has been cursed by a Gypsy?” Tatiana called to them, giggling. They both froze. Lucy felt her face pale. Tommy turned back around to stare at the duchess. 

“What did you say?” 

“Nothing on Earth would make me wear it,” Tatiana said, suddenly deathly serious. Lucy felt her heart rate spike. Even as Tatiana turned away from them, melting back into the crowd. Tommy looked at her, face drawn and eyes suddenly fearful.

“Maybe…maybe she was just mad at you for rejecting her,” Lucy whispered. But even as she said it, she knew that she didn’t believe it. Tommy’s throat worked as he swallowed. A heavy, dark blanket of dread had been tossed over both of them. Springing into movement suddenly, he snatched her hand, half dragging her with him as he took long, hurried strides across the room to where Grace was chatting with Ada.

“Grace, listen to me,” Tommy grabbed her by the shoulder. “Look, I can explain. Go away,” he swept a hand at someone who had been coming up to talk to them. Grace tried to pull away from him. A gong was struck, the sound reverberating throughout the room as a man announced a toast to the king, and that dinner would be served in the next room.    

“For once, you shouldn’t have to explain,” Grace said softly under the man’s toast. 

“Love, please,” Lucy begged, keeping her voice down. They’d get the necklace off of her. Just to be safe. Then they would have Polly look at it. Or maybe Esme or some of her kin. To make sure it was safe before Grace wore it again. 

“You look beautiful,” Tommy said, reaching for the necklace. “But you need to take this off.”

“Why? Because you think it would look better on her?” Grace asked, and while it was clearly intended to come out as angry and bitter, there was a twinge of sadness to her voice that made Lucy’s heart twist. 

“Of course not,” she said.

“Grace,” Tommy seized her tightly by the shoulders and pulled her in close. “Look at me, fuck these people, eh. Fuck ‘em. I need you to be alright,” his voice grew more desperate. “I need you, Grace. I need you.”    

Grace’s face changed as he spoke, expression softening. Stroking a hand down his chest, she lifted it to touch his chin, guiding his mouth to hers as she kissed him. Lucy took a step backwards so as to not look suspicious. Most of the guests had already started to file towards the doors to the dining area. 

“Damn you, Tommy Shelby,” Grace smiled, chuckling as she kissed him a few more times. Lucy let out a small breath of relief, shoulders relaxing, smiling as she watched them. They were okay. It was all alright. 

Walking around them, she brushed close to Grace for the briefest of moments.

“Love you,” she whispered to her as she did, continuing to move so that she was standing a little behind Tommy. Grace looked up at her from over his shoulder and beamed, blowing her a small, subtle kiss that made Lucy giggle, trying to hide it in the fur she still had wrapped around herself.  

“Shall we go inside?” Grace asked, still smiling. 

“Yeah,” Tommy took her hand as they began to walk towards the doors on the farthest end of the room. Lucy fell into step a few paces behind them, on Tommy’s right.

It would haunt her forever, how she didn’t see the man storming towards them until after he had shoved past Polly. Until after he had raised the gun in his hand, the words, “for Angel!” bellowing from his lips to be joined by the crack of the gun firing at Tommy and Grace.

There were people screaming, but she couldn’t really hear them. Her mind didn’t even catch up with her body until she was already kneeling on the floor. The blood pouring out of Grace’s chest was hot against her hands even through the material of her gloves as she pressed down against the wound. Tommy’s voice screaming for an ambulance, screaming for help, was but an echo. He had Grace cradled in his arms, as the three of them sprawled out there on the cold, hard floor. There was vengeful, rageful roaring somewhere, and the squelch of blood and bone being crushed and splattered. Vaguely, she figured that some of the Shelbys must have dealt with the assassin. It was the only reason why they weren’t all dead. 

There was the clatter of heels and a whirl of pink skirts as Polly raced towards them, as she took Tommy’s hand for a brief moment. He said something to her that Lucy couldn’t hear over the ringing in her ears, and then she was racing away from them.

The blood continued to pour out onto Lucy’s hands.

Grace was clutching Tommy tightly. Her lips were parted and pale, eyes wide and clouded with pain. She was trying to say something, but Lucy thought she heard Tommy gently shushing her. Telling her to save her strength. One of Grace’s hands looped around Lucy’s arm, holding onto her.  

It could have been eternal hours or simple minutes that they laid there. The blood had run down to pool onto the floor, staining Grace’s dress and Lucy’s legs. Even staining Grace’s beautiful blonde hair. Lucy’s arms were shaking with the force in which she was pressing down on the bullet wound.

Please…

Grace’s skin was frighteningly pale. Her breaths rattled shallowly in her chest. 

No, please…

Lucy felt Grace’s grip on her arm go slack.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nonononononononono…

Her head lolled backwards, blue eyes going dark and lifeless.

A strangled sound left Lucy’s lips, pressing down even harder on the wound. As if it would make any difference.

Someone was saying her name, touching gently at her straining arms, trying to pull them away. Her head snapped upwards, ready to snarl at whoever it was attempting to drag her away from Grace.

Any viciousness within her died at the look on Tommy’s face.

She’d seen him upset plenty of times. Too many to count. She’d seen him grief-stricken. And heartbroken. And so wracked with trauma he could barely form words. None of it compared to the expression currently molded onto his features, blue eyes a chasm of endless devastation and agony.

Her brow knit as if in confusion. Not entirely understanding until the part of her brain that was still in denial started to catch up to the rest of her. Processing that there was only one reason why Tommy would look like that. 

She didn’t even realize it when she started to tremble, arms slackening where they’d been pressed to Grace’s chest. 

Tommy still had an arm cradling Grace, but the one he had reached out to Lucy cupped the side of her face, thumb catching the first tear to roll down her cheek.

On her first sob, he let go of her face to wrap his arm around her and pull her close until she was resting her head on the spot where his shoulder met his chest. Lucy flung her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt, hand fisting with the back of his suit jacket. Clutching at him as she finally started to cry. She could feel the way that his body tensed as if trying to contain his own sobs, the arm he had around her squeezing so tightly it was almost hard to breathe. His face buried in her hair, and she could feel the wetness of the tears he was trying so hard to hide against her scalp.

As they sat there, on the cold, blood drenched floor and wept into each other, it was like she could feel a great splintering; ripping its way across their entire world and bringing it all crashing down around them. And all they could do was hold each other and cry as they clung to Grace’s dead body in their arms. 

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[justagalwhowrites]

It’s interesting how people see things so differently. Like with Tommy, to me their wedge isn’t because Joel wanted control to protect Tommy. To me it was because Tommy had a bit of a hero complex and thought joining the fireflies would make him feel like the hero again. (He was a soldier which can say a lot, also the reason he was in jail that night was bc he punched a guy to help a waitress and it also wasn’t his first time in jail either. Joel had to bail him out multiple times.)

Tommy did hate what they had to do to survive and they did have a big fight but he left because he wanted more than “just” survival and Marlene made the fireflies look good, like the good guys. so he joined them. But then he just ended up killing people with the fireflies and once he realised that he left again lol

Seeing as Joel had to bail Tommy out multiple times, it definitely gives you the feeling that Joel had to take care of Tommy a lot. Plus Tommy works for/with him so he took care of him in that way too. Obviously nobody knows because nothing was ever shown but i can imagine Joel did shitty things to make sure his little brother is okay, just like he did for Ellie. Joel does anything for the people he cares about.

Obviously having that thrown in his face and Tommy running off to join a terrorist group is gonna cause a wedge between them.

And then Tommy dropping off the face of the earth, not contacting him again and Joel later finding out he’s been safe and perfectly fine in Jackson? Yeah that’s a slap to the face. There’s definitely ways Tommy could’ve let Joel know that he’s safe and in Jackson but he just didn’t. And then obviously bad talking Joel to Maria while Tommy himself has done terrible things? Tommy didn’t want Joel to be in his life anymore and definitely not in Jackson.

Anyway this is my long Tommy is actually an asshole rant lmao

Also, with Tess. I honestly don’t think Joel wanted to love her. In the game the only indication was that they had some tiny flirty dialogue and that’s it. I know everyone now takes the show as canon but in the game, tess doesn’t even say that “I never asked you to feel like that” or whatever. They survived together, they trusted each other, they were partners and friends. It doesn’t always have to mean or be more than that. obviously the show tried to do some dramatic romance and feelings shit but it just wasn’t there lol

Plus we know Joel didn’t really date much before the world ended either, he was a single dad for Sarahs entire life and heavily focused on work and his daughter. Clearly romance wasn’t a huge part of his life, so why would it be after the end of the world and losing his entire family?

Thanks for coming to my ted talk about unpopular the last of us opinions lmao

Hi Bestie!

I love this interpretation! It's actually not really off from what I think of Tommy, too, actually! I just think his hero complex really clashes with Joel's drive to protect him. I don't think Joel CONSCIOUSLY wants to control Tommy, I just think he feels safest when he has control and/or has a good lock on someone's motivations. Tommy wanting to play hero puts him at risk and I imagine Joel pushed back on that really, really hard quite a bit. But yeah, Tommy just fucking off to Wyoming made me so mad lol (which is part of the reason for the Tommy arc in Lavender) But I think can also be at least partially explained by Tommy and Joel clashing more and more as years went by in the QZ, with Tommy getting more and more pissed off by FEDRA and wanting to lean into his hero instincts and Joel not able to shake the fear of his brother getting himself killed.

I will say, my Joels are definitely a lot more based on show Joel than game Joel! I have watched game playthroughs (I am... very bad at video games lol) but HBO Joel is definitely my man. Though yeah, his relationship with Tess in the game was definitely more ambiguously flirty than an unambiguously romantic relationship of any kind. But I don't think his lack of a romantic life immediately pre-outbreak is a fair indication of what he wants in general. Single fatherhood and working a ton of hours means you're going to limit your social life. He was clearly interested in romantic - or at least sexual - attachment at one time because Sarah exists.

That being said, I certainly don't think he'd show up to the QZ and be like "priority one: find a girlfriend." But I do think it's reasonable that he'd stumble into it eventually, either through a smuggling contact he got closer to than he intended or just a woman he was sleeping with because hey, sex!, that became something more.

This has been so fun! I hope this has shed some light on how I write Joel because I've thought a lot about this stuff over the last year. I love hearing your thoughts, thank you so much for sharing!!

Love you!

[voidsentprinces]

Poison frog toxic red flag murder dragon, I never play or write about?

Hey. Hey hey tell me about them. Theyre cute as fuck I wanna know more about em.

DO NOT CUTE THE POISON FROG TOXIC RED FLAG MURDER DRAGON!

Ladies, Gentlemen, and the Eldritch Beings Beyond the Mortal Comprehension of Mankind:

Meet Envy, full title: Invidia Leviathan Tepes, Prince of Envy (for redundancy)

Amongst all the Gods, Demons, and Villains I have ever created, he is the A B S O L U T E W O R S T. I am not even going to list it. Think of something bad. He's done it. He is against the Geneva Accords. Everything from minor infractions like shop lifting to being one of the reasons THERE ARE NO LONGER ANY GODS BEYOND DEATH NOW (in writing lore that is).

He is the only Voidsent Prince who is actually the Original Sin incarnate. He is selfish to extreme, is murder happy, will use, abuse, and toss away anyone and anything he wants. Literally believes the world revolves around him and anything to the contrary needs to be IMPALED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!

You were born.

Congrats.

You were born to worship and serve him. If you are not doing any of those two things. You deserve to die or be tortured for doing either of those two things too little, too much, or even perfectly fine but he's bored of you now, DIE NOW AND SAVE HIM THE INCONVIENCE OF KILLING YOU, THANKS!

He enters the story coiled around the heart of a Goddess who consuming her divinity himself. While driving her completely mad with jealousy which leads to the First Twilight of the Gods. Because the First God got bored one day, I shit you not. Due to taking the divinity of a deity for himself. He grows from a small snake into The Leviathan. His second act after being torn out of said Goddess's chest by her sister is to bite the hand of the Goddess of Light and tumble down from the heavens onto the mortal plane. Where he spends the rest of his time strangling the world with the length of his body and killing anything that thinks to sail on his seas. When he is eventually drop kicked into Hell. He is then forced by Death to go from a primordeal draconic being who is the length of the seven seas and two oceans to a humanoid you see before you. Leaving his tail behind to envy what he once was. Despite the downsizing, aforementioned, its done nothing to curb his ego and he has decided being punished like this is NOW EVERYONES PROBLEM!

Actively hates living things and use to cause earthquakes and tsunamis on a whim to wipe out anyone who settled too close to the oceans he thought he fucking owned.

Does he take a moment to reflect that maybe doing any of this will make people hate him in the short term and try and hunt him down in the long term? HAHAHA!

NO!

Aforementioned, ya not serving his whims or if you bore him, he do not give a fuck about repercussions. He's the edgy dude who never grew out of the edge phase is just 2 cool for school. If that guy got his hands on the strength and power to force people under his heel. Actively is immortally youthful, strong enough to fight off entire armies, the ability to generate water and cause earthquakes at a whim. Gilgamesh before he met Enkidu, but if meeting Enkidu made him even worse and he learned nothing of humility and shrugged off Enkidu's death.

I don't write him cause he is just...a walking trigger warning and that makes me uncomfortable. I would change him, but like...the cast NEEDS like that one (1) absolute bastard character. Irredeemable, unbashedly terrible on every level, is the reason people probably started to write down war crimes and formed rules around: Maybe we shouldn't do these bad things during combat actually...lets set up rules.

Not that he'd follow them. You kidding? Telling HIM what to do? The gall!

Anyway, here have his theme while you're here:

[pleuvoire]

ok since i can't draw my ultra/host ocs i will just talk about them. they don't have names because i am lousy at coming up with oc names like that is the least important part of the process to me. also i'm a bit self-conscious about how i accidentally just made "zero and leito but they both suck like 50% more" however i hope it is still original enough for you to enjoy

host guy is a deadbeat dad in his 40s in the middle of ongoing divorce proceedings at the time of the story. he works at the defense team organization but he's not actually on the defense team, he just has a desk job doing like administrative or resource management stuff. he's kind of shitty and cringe but not like a terrible guy. there's not much else to say about him

ultra is a haughty and arrogant young (but not that young) warrior with a predominantly blue design involving gracefully curving lines. he's like a warrior-poet type of guy who thinks that fighting is just one of the many ways to achieve the heights of elegance and perfection of form and the fierce rush of being alive. he's very cultured but only about alien culture, he thinks humans are insects beneath his notice and he fights kaiju out of warrior's pride instead of heroic instinct. but of course, he has a character development arc about this and eventually ends up as the "good guy hero but tsundere about it" archetype. *listening to beethoven* "hmph... maybe humans are good for something." he's like a giant shitty cat in many ways. main weapon is a fancy spear.

the two of them became bonded when host guy was in the area of a monster fight chasing after the defense team trying to warn them they were out of ammo because a delivery of it was late, or something, and had the misfortune to get hit by a meteor. except it wasn't a meteor! it was our ultra guy, wounded and crashing to earth, and they are now bonded accidentally! ultra guy is very mad about this but he doesn't have the strength to regain his own body outside of 3-minute kaiju fights so he's stuck like this. host guy is none too pleased about being stuck with a giant shitty space cat in his brain either. as part of their bond ultra guy can sort of astral project and walk around his host's surroundings in an incorporeal form that only his host can see and hear and touch. this astral projection can vary from human size to sit-outside-your-host's-apartment-building-using-the-roof-as-an-armrest size (it's okay because people just walk right through him). in this astral projection form he also has no sense of personal space and is constantly touching and sitting on and leaning on his host which drives his host insane because if he tries to shove him off he will look weird shoving at nothing. however despite all this touching they are not actually gay for each other and they are basically just a guy and his shitty cat from space.

their relationship goes from constant bickering to a kind of grudgingly heartwarming bond. ultra guy's fierce love for the beauty of heart-pounding fighting and his disdain for host guy's sad narrow joyless life eventually inspires host guy to enjoy the world around him and broaden his horizons a little more, and of course being bonded with host guy inspires ultra guy to have the classic antihero arc as i mentioned before. they grow to care about each other but they will never ever admit it. it's cute

the actual defense team are all supporting characters but i don't feel like thinking too hard about them right now. when they find out host guy is ultraman (about a third of the way through the show) they invite him to join them but he doesn't because he's lazy and undisciplined. but he still keeps working with them as ultraman so it's an odd sort of relationship

[trans-xianxian]

sage! also orchid and mahonia. btw do you have a chenqing keychain charm or am I thinking of someone else?

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?:

I think that music is the kind of art that touches my soul the most, tho visual art is probably what inspires my Own visual art the most and writing like poetry and stories in any form can have profound lasting affects myself as a person (like there's characters that I will just always take with me forever and who helped me through times in my life as silly as that sounds) and writing is one of the ways I am most easily able to get things out of me and express specific emotions and experiences but there's nothing that makes me feel quite like music does and there's nothing that connects me to other ppl like music does. music is one of the things that connects me most to one of my best friends and is such a special cornerstone of our relationship. there is nothing in the world like creating music w other ppl even if you are just singing in the kitchen with your best friend. there's that one quote abt humans always making music and how in the bad times we will be singing about the bad times and like yeah. Yeah. my mom always played a lot of music growing up and my dad used to play the guitar w me and my sister sang me to sleep when I was little so I just think it's always been a big part of my life and I think choir is one of the only reasons I got through middle school lmao. anyway there's just nothing like hearing a song and it filling your whole body hope this helps

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?:

CANDY BY THE BLASTING COMPANY it is such a beautiful song both lyrically, instrumentally, and melody wise. I still get chills every time I listen to it and everyone I've ever shown it to regardless of their usual music taste has thought it was beautiful. the ending especially makes me akshmcuakshyaijsj. its also really fun and lovely to sing! their other song old summer reckoning is very beautiful as well (it reminds me of wei wuxian and wen qing lmao). they're the band that did the music for over the garden wall if you ever watched it!

mahonia ⇢ what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?:

well obviously stories inspire me to make things.. I make my little drawings and I write my little posts about my favorite little guys. but one of the driving forces for me to make art Not related to media is just experiencing a strong emotion esp about a specific experience or person and I like to express it w poetry and visual art and combining those two things when I can. I made this piece after one of my rats died (I was having an already terrible week but I don't remember why lmao) and after coming to the vet with me my best friend came back to my apartment and helped me clean my disgusting room and washed all of my dishes for me and it was just such a profound act of love I had to get it out of my body. I have another poem I wrote that I haven't made art for yet after my dad took care of me after top surgery. I guess rlly what inspires me most is love for other ppl and things as cheesy as that sounds

also yes I do have a chenqing keychain!! it's a tiny replica of the flute and then I got a Different keychain that was the little charm on it and put them together hehe

[taxfraudhousewife]

might i rest in your hands a while and soak up all your light

might i drink the sweat from your palms and the blood from your hangnails

only for a moment

might i hear you scold me for giving up

might your words be fierce with fire and put fire back in me

if i read and learned and hoped and prayed

would i even find you

some internet people are saying the whole israel thing is driving the masses to revert

seemingly normal internet people talking about how they read the quran

it makes me think the price will be high

equal if not more

i know there’s not a finite number of muslims that can exist at the same time

still isn’t there

what if in a hundred years the masses revert

in exchange for forty thousand palestinians

what if it has to be more to buy the masses

what if there really is an order to things

no i am not converting to replace your weight in the islamic equilibrium

thought about it considered it realized i’m being fucking crazy

if you were here if i converted you’d be pissed off at me

say you’re not muslim jesus and you don’t hear my prayers

still the thought of buying future muslims with current muslims is terrifying and fills me with dread

that an order exists and it’s cruel and inconsistent

i hope it means nothing

it does mean nothing unless you can buy current lives with future ones

maybe they mean your god will reward someone (???) for enduring (???) genocidal carnage

by making more random muslims (???)

that’s a can of worms

one that leaves me incredibly grateful i’ve only learned how to worship men

at least plain ol men can’t be blamed for allowing (????) ethnic cleansings to happen on their property

at least on that big a scale

i’ve been kind of a muslim weeb lately

it’s a joke but now it’s getting weird

you’d think its weird

like i keep saying inshallah in russian sentences

and every time i think how if you could hear me you’d roll your fuckin eyes

and call me stupid

i don’t know why i’m obsessed

you muslims are curb stomping my heart

i broke up with the iraqi girl

i think your god made us to torture each other

it was november and i wanted to ask you what to do

half of my decision was prompted by israel

i think the other half was just what happens when you’re far away

only i could watch a genocide and feel sorry for myself

when the bombs fell the shrapnel tore open a scab on my lip

i couldn’t stop the bleeding (never could)

all i could taste was burning skin and wet steel

unwelcome alcohol and terrible adults

i longed for the comfort of you

and sought it in her

you fuckin muslims know how to chew up a fuckin heart

you muslims you men you humans

starting to think IM the problem

you men and girls and dead will turn me inside out and tear me to shreds

it’s down my throat back in my chest where it belongs except it’s different this time

it just hurts without the righteous angry enthusiasm

it’s just going crazy in my room at night

i’m so angry

but in the bad way like the way i’m not supposed to be

in the way that the angry boy who won’t answer the phone is always simmering

did you used to be that too

what did you do how did you stop being a boy how did you man the fuck up

cause i can’t

i miss you dog

i’m trying so hard to be like you

you’re everything i could ever dream of being

you’re so fuckin cool

i can’t replace you in the islamic equilibrium

no one can i know it doesn’t have to be me

i wished it hard

but still if i can’t be like you then what the fuck is anything

deadass i think a lot of happy hopeful thoughts when i think about you

i think you’d like that

got me dreaming about glorious revolution and shit

and garlic nang and you in your truck in the wild west

my toga is so fuckin cool

i sing it to myself

to mushu i tell him your toga asaan was a smart ass guy

he was a socialist and he read books and shit

would it be crazy if i named my first born after you

would i be setting them up for failure with a name like that

it’s crazy and stupid and not a name for me to give

i know

still i relish the idea of people asking why my heir has such a strange name

and telling them he’s named after an esteemed and accomplished anti imperialist activist

cause i can’t say you were good cause that’s basic and i would cry

i’m not man enough to replace that goodness

you can’t replace a guy who saved actual lives and also drank too much nyquil

if you were here i’d bully you for it forever

i’d never shut the fuck up i still never shut the fuck up about it

just incase you can hear me bullying you

you fuckin harami ass i see you now

i hope to giggle with you over our addictions one day

i hope to try hashish with you i hope to watch you hit a fifty nic disposable for the first time

to drink too much with you and ask you what you think of nine eleven

i don’t need to ask everything but at least that

and maybe a summary of what you were really getting into

[irishhills]

sticks

Last night, Chris promised Eliza he’d spend some time with Luke and tell him about the party. He was never going to tell Luke about Eliza making out with Tall Steve, and not even because it’s inconsequential. He knows it’ll break Luke’s heart no matter who he’s going out with in college, and Chris would rather not do that to his brother. But he did promise Eliza he’d talk to Luke about the party. She just didn’t make him promise what he’d say, and he didn’t know he’d have such a story to tell.

They drive into the Irish Hills, the only place to be on a day like this, when the sun is out and the slush has finally gone away. Luke tells Chris a little about Maddie, the older woman he’s been dating for the past three weeks.

“She’s already taken the MCAT,” Luke says. “She wants to go to Michigan for med school, but she knows it’s a longshot. I don’t think it is for her, though. She’s a junior already, and she’s never been off the Dean’s List.”

“She’s a junior?” Chris asks.

“Yeah.”

“So, she’s twenty-one?”

“She will be in July. Why? What’s the matter with that? I’m nineteen. Guys are at their sexual peak at nineteen. That’s what Maddie likes about me!”

“I’m gonna go throw up behind a tree.”

“Oh, grow up. We’re only a year and a half apart. That’s a smaller gap than me and …”

He can’t even finish Eliza’s name. He can barely get out the first syllable. Chris steps back while Luke picks up a twig and throws it as far as he can. All those years of football must have paid off because he throws it pretty far. Chris can’t believe he’s a little impressed.

“Well, you know,” Luke mutters. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter how old I am, or how old Maddie is. I like her, and I think she likes me.”

“Sure,” Chris says. “She’ll like you till she can’t take you out with her anymore.”

By the expression on Luke’s face, Chris can tell this is something he’s thought about before, too. And of course he has. Luke thinks of all the details. It’s Chris who misses them.

“I could strangle you, you know,” Luke says. “I could strangle you in the woods.”

“You could, but you won’t,” Chris says. “Nothing that would ruin your chances of getting into medical school. Murder’s pretty high on that list.”

“Is anyone really above fratricide?”

“I don’t know. Cain was ready, willing, and A-B-E-L. Is that anything? Is that funny?”

“Nah, but Blair would probably laugh.”

Chris’s stomach drops. In the past ten minutes, he’d managed to almost completely forget about Blair. At least, he’d almost completely forgotten about Blair from last night. Now all he can feel are her knees around him … something he’d barely noticed while they were there but missed terribly once they were gone. She said they were fine, they were still best friends, she still liked him … but he hasn’t felt right in almost twenty-four hours. Maybe he never will.

“Hey, Blair and I made out last night,” he says.

Luke furrows his brow.

“So?” he asks. “You’ve made out with her before.”

“I’ve kissed her before. This was different. This was … well, it felt different, for one thing. I’m usually not … on top of her like that.”

“You didn’t even let her get on top?”

“Not at first, but even then –”

“I don’t believe this. You missionary made out. Your best friend is one of the best looking girls either of us has ever seen in real life, and you missionary made out. You couldn’t be more boring if you tried.”

Chris’s cheeks flush. He hadn’t thought of what they did in terms of positions. How could that be? All of their clothes were on. They hadn’t talked about doing anything else, and thank God. He wouldn’t have wanted to, and he’s pretty sure Blair wouldn’t have wanted to, either. Blair usually says what she wants. That’s what Chris likes best about her, he thinks.

“Well, I must have been terrible at it,” he says. “She ran out of the room, and I barely saw her for the rest of the night.”

Luke sighs.

“Look, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you weren’t terrible at it.”

“How would you know?”

“Because nobody’s really terrible at it. It isn’t difficult. Especially not for you and Blair, I bet.”

“Why especially not for me and Blair?”

“Because you’re in love with each other.”

Chris’s throat closes up. People have been accusing him of being in love with Blair since he was eleven or twelve. They make jokes about them getting married all the time because nobody knows them better than they know each other. And that’s all true. The world is a little better and a little safer because Blair is in it. But in love with her? That can’t be. How would they even know what that kind of love is? Who models it for them, other than the characters in the old movies they watch on Saturday nights? Maybe Blair’s parents are in love with each other. Chris thinks they probably are. But his parents sure as hell aren’t in love. They got married because they wanted to have sex. That’s why Mom had three kids in four years.

He doesn’t think about why she would have stayed.

“I don’t know why she ran,” Chris says, ignoring Luke’s last sentence altogether. “I tried to get her to come back, but she wouldn’t even look me in the eye the whole way home.”

“Weird,” Luke says. “Tell me what happened.”

“I just did.”

“No, man. Give me a play by play.”

“Don’t you think that’s kind of … overstepping?”

“No, I don’t. It’s the only way I’m ever gonna help you figure out what happened and how sorry you have to be.”

“But we’re brothers.”

“That’s exactly why it’s not overstepping. I’m the only guy in the world who loves you enough not to be grossed out. Come on. You can tell me.”

Chris swallows. Luke doesn’t usually tell anyone he loves them, except Mom. He couldn’t even say it to Eliza even though Chris still knows he wanted to. But when Luke says he’s the only guy in the world who loves Chris enough to listen to what happened between him and Blair last night, he knows he’s telling the truth. That’s the worst part.

“OK,” Chris says. “Well …”

He gives him a play by play, of Bridget Latorre’s bedroom, of his choice to play Born in the USA, of the way Blair seemed to like it when he bit her ear. Luke almost seems to approve.

“But then I asked her how long we were supposed to keep doing it,” Chris says.

Luke frowns.

“Chris, you did not.”

“I did! I didn’t know what was supposed to happen! We could’ve gone on like that forever if I hadn’t said something.”

“Whatever. So, is that when she bolted?”

“No, it’s weirder. She said I should let her know, but I didn’t know what that meant. Then she looked me up and down, got pissed, and then she bolted.”

Luke closes his eyes in shame. He’s quiet for a long time – long enough for Chris to wonder if he actually heard him. He almost opens his mouth to ask, but instead, Luke punches him in the gut.

“What the fuck, man?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Luke says. “What’s wrong with you? How long have you been absent?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like … it’s like you never listen. You don’t listen when Mom talks, you don’t listen when I talk, you don’t even listen to scrambled porn.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you fucking do. And if I have to spell it out for you, I should call Blair tonight and tell her to put her eggs in a different basket. Holy shit, man. I don’t even know … I don’t even know how that’s possible.”

Chris backs up a little. He thinks he might have a clue, but he doesn’t want to be wrong. That would make him more embarrassed than he already is.

“So … do you know what happened?” he asks.

Luke looks him in the eye, and Chris swears his irises are red.

“You little asshole,” he says. “I know exactly what happened. And with Blair – do you really not think that Blair is beautiful?”

Chris doesn’t know how to respond. Sure, he knows Blair is beautiful. He knows what beautiful girls look like, and she’s one of them. But they’re best friends, and if he ever thinks she’s beautiful – the subjective, the thinking – then it’s over. Then he’s alone.

“I just don’t get it,” Luke keeps muttering. “I mean, if anybody could do it for you, you’d think it would be Blair.”

“Do what for me?”

“You idiot! It’s like you never even went through … and I know you did, we shared a bathroom till last year … dammit, man, you’re gonna make me say it, and I don’t want to.”

“But –”

“Blair’s pissed because you were supposed to have a hard-on!”

Chris backs up even farther. Yeah. That’s what he thought it was.

“That’s how you know when you’re done just making out,” Luke says. “Guy gets a hard-on, and girl knows it’s time to do other stuff. Blair knows that. Why don’t you?”

Chris doesn’t say anything. Why doesn’t he know that? He’d never made out with anybody before last night, but then again, neither had Blair. Maybe he did know that and had scared himself into forgetting. That sounds like him. For years, whenever he thinks of sex, it sounds great until it sounds terrifying.

He knows it works. It worked last night before he fell asleep, and he was thinking about how warm Blair’s thighs are … how for a brief moment while they were kissing, he thought about biting them and never letting go. He erased the image of Blair from his imagination just in time, though. That would have been too much.

“She said she didn’t … or I assumed she didn’t … want to do anything else,” he says. “So, why would she be upset?”

“You’re the stupidest guy I’ve ever met,” Luke says. “Are you serious? She’s crazy about you. She wanted to turn you on.”

“But she did! She did, and it was weird!”

“Maybe don’t say that to her. Ever. Because now, she thinks you think she’s ugly, that she could never be sexy, all that stuff we know isn’t true. Is it?”

“Well, no, but … but I can’t really control when that … when that happens. And it’s not my fault that it didn’t.”

Luke rolls his eyes.

“I guess it’s not,” he says. “But in the middle of it … look, people’s feelings get all blown up and bent out of shape when they’re horny. It’s not your fault, but …”

“But what?”

“But it’s just kinda surprising that you didn’t. With Blair, anyway.”

“I know. Because she’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, but no. Because you love her.”

Chris doesn’t know what to say. Of course he loves Blair. And if he let himself, he could probably see a world where they’re … together. Happy. But if it goes too far … he doesn’t know. He doesn’t let himself see beyond the fear.

“Did Eliza make out with Tall Steve last night?” Luke asks.

“Yeah.”

No point in lying to him if he asks point blank.

“Figures,” he says. “He was always trying to get with her. She just didn’t notice.”

Luke picks up another stick and throws it, this time for an even longer distance. Chris stands back and watches him as he throws. He’ll never be able to throw sticks around like Luke, or anybody worth his weight in salt, but it’s fun to watch. It’s fun to pretend.

[moodymurda]

about a boy 8

my honey

the time we’ve had apart is how i know that i love you. and knowing that i love you is what made me pull away the way i did. i know we can both relate in not wanting to like each other from the very beginning. it was so childish in hindsight. my mom always says you make plans & god laughs. and that’s so true because what happened between us was more than what i bargained for. and nothing short of some of the best times in my life.

you being there for me the day [redacted so i can’t get sued or anything like that], the way you took care of me and literally held me up when my grandma was in the hospital, that first time we went to Waffle House together after that party and i realized i liked you, meeting up to sit in the car at the park and talking about our dreams, going with you to cecil to look at the planes and shit, just all of our little moments.

you came into my life and turned my world upside down in the best way. you made me view myself as more than just a girl. you helped me to accept and fall in love with the beautiful woman i am becoming.

that being said, the lack of reciprocity when i asked, it immediately broke my heart. that conversation was crushing to me. looking back, and even in the moment i was so proud of myself for how i handled it. bc while i felt terrible on the inside, i kept my cool. the old me would broke down, i would’ve begged, pleaded even. though i was proud of myself i realize now turning cold on you the way i did almost wasn’t fair. don’t get me wrong i stand behind it but at the same time i wish i had more compassion and understanding for you like you have always given me.

i can not lie, pain was driving me to act the way i was. seeing you be so sad after the fact confused me. it felt like you were trying to make me the bad guy for setting a boundary. so when you started to do nice things when we’d hang out with our friends, just the way you approached me, it all threw me off. partially because of a lot of what you started doing, you’d never done for me before while we were dating (or whatever you’d like to call it. that’s another thing but i won’t beat a dead horse).

some of what you had said stuck with me too. like when you asked “when was the last time we went on a real date”. i don’t know man, in the end i was left feeling so stupid for being open. it felt like i gave myself to someone who didn’t value me. i felt like i imagined that we were falling in love. the timing didn’t help either.

as time has gone by i realized some changes i needed to make, so i guess it wasn’t time wasted after all.

the night of [redacted] reminded me of how i love you. it forced me to confront how much i miss you. up until that point i was ignoring it to protect my heart. but in “protecting” my heart i fear i may have lost the sweetest love i’ve ever felt.

things weren’t ideal but i love how we always tried to meet in the middle no matter what. i love how looking into your eyes grounds me. how you protect & look out for me. i love that i can learn from you & that you aren’t afraid to admit that you’ve learned something from me. you’re gentle with me when you’re right & you aren’t afraid to be wrong. i’m afraid to give my heart to you because it feels like you are my one. and i don’t know that i could take having you break my heart, but even with that knowledge i’m still willing to take the chance

nia

[loki-hargreeves]

So Cold

Pairing: mainly Jake Lockley x fem!Reader (established relationship), Steven Grant x fem!Reader & Marc Spector x fem!Reader

Warnings/Tags: fluff, suggestive stuff [making out, dirty talk, smutty undertones etc], gun violence, car accident, near death situation [drowning], angst, vulgar language, mentions of blood, hospitalization, character death [you and the moon boys will be fine], hurt/comfort

Word Count: 9,5K

Summary: Your date gets interrupted by Jake’s enemies and you end up trapped underwater.

A/N: Not my best but this concept has lived in my head rent free for weeks. @davosmymaster​ has been lovely enough to brainstorm with me and also help me with most of the Spanish parts <3 Any and all mistakes are mine!!! 😤

Please don’t come at me for any technical stuff. I don’t know what it’s like to be in a car that’s stuck underwater nor am I a medical expert (I’m basing it on personal experiences). Just enjoy the vibes <3

YOUR POV

“Jake, oh my god!” Your laughter filled the car and his ears, his name fitting somewhere in between the joyous erupts. The sun was setting below the horizon, directly in front of you as the final rays of the day bounced off the deep, dark sea. Everything was golden with hints of pink and orange. Late autumn leaves were carried by the gentle wind, cascading down onto the ground and some landing on the hood of the vehicle surely to be blown away when you’d eventually drive home.

When he looked at you trying to contain your adorable laughter after the terrible joke he told only moments earlier, he swore he felt his heart expand in his chest. Tearing his eyes off of you was impossible, not even the picture perfect sunset being a match to you, the love of his life smiling so wide it reached your eyes. If telling bad jokes always made you laugh like that, Jake would never stop.

Jake was happy.

Truly happy.

He hadn’t known this kind of love and pure bliss prior to meeting you. Before, his existence consisted mainly of protecting others and dealing with the worst of the worst. Every touch he felt was rough and cold, with violent intentions. When he felt your loving touch, he was hooked. It took time but Jake learned to long for it. Jake hadn’t lived much for himself nor had anyone ever protected him. Not that he really needed protection, not like that. But the way you loved him and made him feel was enough. You protected his heart.

That day had been wonderful so far and there was no doubt in his mind that the night would be just as good. Since it was Jake’s day, he had taken you out on a date to surprise you. Sure, there were some bumps on the road; the restaurant he had wanted to take you to was closed due to water damages, the plumbing had seen better days at that place. 

That didn’t stop you, no. You and Jake opted for fast food instead and drove to a remote area to watch the sunset and eat your food in the car instead. Sure, it had felt a bit ridiculous to walk into a fast food place in your fancy clothes but in a way, it was amusing. The heels, the dress, the suit Jake was wearing that made it hard for you to keep your hands off of him. If the weather had been nicer, you would’ve eaten outside but winter was nearing quickly. Staying in the car where it was warm, especially when you were only in a thin dress, was much better.

Somehow, that was one of your best dates so far. Just the two of you, the sunset and a lot of privacy which allowed opportunities for you to get all touchy and hands-on with each other without being judged by strangers. Jake never loved the way some people, especially other guys, would look at you. He couldn’t blame them though, because you were an absolute goddess. He felt so lucky to be with you, to be able to call you his girl. People who knew what was best for them knew not to even think about getting between you and Jake. The same applied for you and Marc and Steven. The harmony you all had was beautiful and nothing could possibly disrupt that.

Even the music was excellent tonight because the car was connected to your Spotify account. Jake had put some of his favourite songs in the queue. Right now, you were listening to a tune he always loved to sing and whistle around the flat, más allá del sol. It reminded you of the time he had completely surprised you one evening as he played the song and swayed with you in the living room. Jake Lockley was more romantic than you had ever expected him to be - and you loved everything about it.

“You have something there,” Your laughter faded after a while and you pointed at Jake’s cheek with a mischievous smile on your face. It was clear as day you had something up your sleeve.

“Here?” Jake raised an eyebrow, playing along. He pointed past the moustache he had been growing. They had decided to let their facial hair grow after they all learned how much you liked that. Besides, it looked good. Fantastic, actually.

“More like…” You began as you leaned closer to Jake and wrapped your hand around the black tie around his neck. As said, you two were definitely overdressed for a fast food date. Then you tugged at it, pulling Jake’s face close to yours.

“...right here,” You whispered and shamelessly kissed his cheek, concealing the fact that there hadn’t actually been anything on his face. You just wanted to kiss him. There was no harm in that, right?

Jake felt all warm and fuzzy inside when your lips pressed against his skin. He was sure you were able to tell it made his cheeks heat up, not that he’d admit it. The fact that you were acting like this just to smooch his cheek made Jake feel a lot of things. He wanted to return the favour before you’d drive him mad with your little antics.

“If you wanted a kiss, mi amor, you could’ve just asked,” Jake explained. Yup. He had definitely turned soft but he didn’t mind because it was all for you. He looked in your eyes, willing to get lost in the beauty and mystery that was hidden in them, something magnetizing behind your coated lashes that tried to captivate him time after time - and it worked. They said eyes were the doors to one’s soul, there was no doubt about that when he gazed into yours.

“Making you blush is more fun,” You teased. Of course, you did.

“Oh come here you,” Jake had finally reached the point of not being able to keep his hands off of you any longer. He cupped your face with his hands, fingers resting against the back of your head as he kissed you. It was fierce and passionate, a kiss that instantly took your breath away and wiped away the playful gleam. That was replaced by a burning desire, a need that only he could satisfy and you were willing to do anything for.

Jake’s tongue slipped past your lips as he tasted you, his needy and unabashed kiss making you moan. Not even the music could hide the fact. Your closed your eyes and tilted your head, needing him to get closer somehow. In a desperate attempt, you tangled your fingers in his dark locks, pulling him closer while also holding onto him for support as the kiss threatened to make you swoon. Just one kiss was all it took, the feeling of his soft stubble poking lightly against your skin and his hands now roaming down your body, toying with the straps of your dress.

As Jake pulled back from the kiss with glistening lips, it was his time to smirk.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Jake wondered in a low voice, sending shivers down your spine. It didn’t help that his breath landed on your neck, making you think about just how amazing his lips would feel on the sensitive skin. The answer to his question was quite obvious but he thought it was fun to tease you too.

“Please,” You nodded, running your fingers down his neck and then beginning to work on loosening his tie, “I’ve wanted you from the moment you walked out the house in this suit.”

“Really?” Jake acted surprised, peppering light kisses on your neck, right above your increasing pulse and inhaling the sweet, sweet scent of your perfume, “Maybe I should wear it more often. Had no clue you so into men in suits.”

“Liar,” You rolled your eyes, knowing damn well he knew what he was doing.

“Well you’re in luck, cariño,” Jake rolled one strap off your shoulder, kissing the newly exposed skin rather tenderly, “because I’ve been thinking about fucking you dumb ever since you put this dress on.”

This was the Jake you knew, being so shameless with his words yet the boldness did wonders to you. Those words went right to your core. If he kept talking to you like that as his lips were on a journey to touch every inch of your skin, you weren’t sure you’d be able to wait until you got home. You needed him now.

“Jake…” You whimpered his name, feeling your heart thundering in your chest. It wouldn’t be the first time you two got adventurous outside the flat but you wanted to make sure no one could accidentally see you.

Jake knew that. There was no way in hell he’d ever expose you like that, not when he knew what kinds of creeps existed out there. With a quick glance, he looked past your shoulder and in the side mirror. Now that the sun had set, it was darker outside but not dark enough to let anyone hide in the shadows. In fact, it made it clearer than before that there was a car nearby, parked sort of behind you two. That was definitely odd as your car was blocking the view, there was no sensible reason for anyone to be there.

When Jake put his hand on your thigh and sat up straight, you just knew something was wrong. The look on his face said it all. It’s like his mind shut out everything else and focused solely on the fact that you had to get away.

“What’s going on?” You tried to look behind and out the window, but Jake didn’t let you. He urged you to fasten your seat belt as he started the engine with a roar.

The people in the other car realized they had been caught. Their headlights turned on when they prepared to follow you for whatever reasons they had. It couldn’t be good. Suddenly the mood had gone from excitement to genuine fear. The kisses and butterflies had flown out the window, replaced by confusion and worry. Jake got on the road and began speeding up immediately, knowing the best option was to put distance between you and the people who had interrupted your date.

“There’s a gun in the glove box,” Jake told you with a flat tone. He tried so intently to stay neutral for your sake because he didn’t want to scare you. Jake recognized the car that was now tailing you and that plagued him. If anything happened to you now, he would never be able to forgive himself.

“A gun?” You didn’t know why you were surprised. As the initial shock disappeared, you followed the unspoken instructions and opened the glove box. Just as he had said, there was a gun there. The sight made you feel uneasy. What was happening?!

“Do you remember how to use it?” Jake wondered, needing to know that in case things got ugly.

“Are you serious right now?”

“It’s a yes or no question!” He snapped, not meaning to sound so harsh but neither of you had time for bickering. As he took a look in the rear view mirror, he saw the car coming closer and closer. Cars. There were more of them now, each car speeding toward you at a dangerous rate. Something flashed in the reflection. They had a gun too. Most likely guns.

“Yes! I remember how to shoot, Jake.”

“Good,” Jake hit the gas pedal, taking a rough turn to the right. The road was bumpy and in terrible condition, leading you down the hill. There was water surrounding it which meant that this road was the only way out of there. Either that or a swim in the cold, murky water that was quite the long fall away. Walking through the woods wasn’t an option either.

“Joder!” Jake cursed, angry at the fact he hadn’t noticed the car earlier. His mind jumped to the worst places, thinking about every possible scenario from start to finish. Every what-if was already taunting Jake. What would’ve happened if they had gone by unnoticed for longer? What did these people want from him? From you? Guilt was already creeping up to Jake, squirming underneath his skin like a worm and making him feel sick.

He should’ve been more alert. Letting his guard down for just one damn day had been foolish. Jake couldn’t believe this was happening.

You shook your head in disbelief as you stared at the empty road ahead, squeezing the gun in your hands. Although you were prepared to fight, your mind tried so desperately to distance itself from what was going on. The weapon was heavy in your soft hands. You didn’t want to use it but knew you would if someone threatened to hurt Jake. The thought of anyone wanting to hurt him made you sick, it sparked a raging fire you would never be able to tame. So you took a few deep breaths, chasing away the crippling fear that threatened to get the best of you. This was not the time to freak out.

“I'm sorry, mi vida,” Jake hadn’t meant to snap at you but the situation was stressful to say the least. Stress brought out a different side of him. Jake was a protector to the core but he wasn’t used to working like this. Jake preferred going solo against these assholes. Surprisingly gently, considering the circumstances, he reached out to grab your hand, giving you a squeeze before taking the gun away from you. That was simultaneously a relief and incredibly alarming.

“Who are they?” You wondered, trying to put the pieces together, to focus on facts instead of the terrifying and unreliable conclusions in your head. Everything happened so fast. One moment you had been all over each other and now some shady people were tailing you. Jake was holding the gun. You were awfully aware of your own breathing and it became more and more difficult to control it.

“Bad people,” Jake groaned, being vague on purpose. He was aware of the fact you weren’t doing well and it was killing him on the inside. Truly, it shattered his very soul to know you must’ve been scared out of your mind, not knowing the whats and whys. You had done nothing wrong and yet here you were, being hunted like an animal. If only he had a chance to comfort you, he would’ve. Right now though, he could only focus on getting rid of these people and driving far away from here.

As if to confirm what Jake just said, a shot echoed and the rear window shattered. It was loud and it made you flinch. In an instant, Jake pushed your head down as far as you could go, not giving those people a chance to aim at you. He’d rather catch those bullets in his arm than to have them anywhere near you.

He made sure the road ahead was clear so he didn’t have to focus on steering for the next second or two. Another gunshot was heard which came from Jake’s gun. This one was louder. It made your ears ring painfully which seemed to be the least of your worries. He had the gun pointing at the nearest car from behind his headrest, forcing the ‘bad people’ to dodge too. Jake pulled the trigger again, successfully breaking the windshield and disarming the man in the passenger seat. His bullet seemed to have gone right through his shoulder.

After firing behind a few more times, Jake had successfully gotten rid of one of the cars. It lost its steering and ended up spinning around on the road and disappearing into the rear view. Before you knew it, it was far out of sight.

This was getting nasty.

Another round of shots forced Jake to dodge, giving him a chance to look at the road and make sure nothing was in your way and that you weren’t driving into a ditch. He had been in car chases and shootouts many times before but never like this, never with your life on the line.

Jake had Khonshu’s protection, you didn’t.

“Jake, let me help!” You were fighting your tears, hating how useless you felt.

“Please.”

He opened his mouth to protest, thinking there was no reason to make you do anything unless it was absolutely necessary but when he saw your determined expression, Jake couldn’t just say no. The situation was dire. Focusing on the road ahead while dodging bullets and shooting at people when you were right there was too risky. There was a reason they all had trained you to fight. It was now or never.

“Aim at the tires,” Jake instructed you as he handed you the gun, trusting you. He had to. He wanted you to aim at the tires instead of the driver because he knew taking a life wasn’t easy. Jake didn’t wish that burden upon you.

With a deep breath, you pointed the deadly weapon at the enemy, struggling to see properly through the thousands of cracks and holes in the window of the nearest car that tailed you. As well as you possibly could, you tried to control the tremble in your hands. 

Focus...focus!

Before you got a chance to comprehend what was really happening, something hit the side of the car completely out of the blue and it hit you hard. The impact steered you off road instantly despite Jake hitting the brakes so hard that they screetched. Everything became a haze and you lost your sense of balance, dropping the gun in the process. Whether you were upside down or sideways, you had no way of telling. Thud after thud, it became harder to even guess. Hell, it was so sudden you didn’t even get a chance to comprehend what was really going on.

The last thing you picked up before hitting your head against the side of the car was Jake’s voice. He yelled out your name with panic and fear in his voice you had never heard before. It completely broke your heart.

             “Wake up, you idiot!”

What the hell?

“You need to get out of the car, Lockley. You’ve got no time to waste.”

Followed by Khonshu's echoing words, Jake felt the brutal sting of the cold that had enveloped his entire body. His eyes opened up wide in surprise and fear. Not only was it cold to the point it felt like his muscles were burning, it was so dark that he couldn’t see anything at all. How long had he been out?

Water was rising rapidly, pouring into the car from bullet holes and rising up Jake’s legs. It had already reached his waist, soaking his clothes and threatening to take the rest of him too. Jake didn’t fear for himself, he found himself worrying over someone else entirely.

You

Were you okay?

“Y/N!”

Jake snapped his head instinctively to his side and reached out to make sure you were there. After blinking a few times while trying not to freak out, he managed to find the light switch on the ceiling of the car. Miraculously, the lights still worked but they were already flickering. They revealed the murky water that was pulling the vehicle deeper and deeper below the surface, with no promise of ending any time soon. It seemed like an endless abyss.

Then Jake saw blood. Crimson had painted your skin and hair, dripping into the water below and washing away into the vast sea. There was a wound on the side of your head that made Jake feel ill. If the water hadn’t frozen his body by now, the sight certainly did. It’s like his heart stopped for a moment when he realized how hopeless this situation seemed. Jake couldn’t believe he had failed to protect you.

You were unconscious, the seat belt being the only thing keeping you from hunching over into the icy pool below your waist. There was a notable dent in the side of the car, the metal compressed together like a crushed soda can. Whether your legs had wiggle room or not, Jake couldn’t tell. Judging by all the blood, the answer was more gruesome than he wished for it to be.

Jake summoned his suit, feeling how the material wrapped around his body and offered some shield from the biting, frosty water. Without wasting any more time, he ripped his seat belt off with ease thanks to his powers. They really came in handy now as the water pressure had trapped you like bugs in a jar. The belt snapped in half loudly and caused Jake to stumble to the side a little bit. He didn’t know if he was injured or not - it didn’t matter. Jake felt the water rising past his waist and chest, ever so surely making the air bubble smaller and smaller.

Khonshu hadn't been lying when he said there was no time to waste.

“Come on…” Jake groaned through gritted teeth, kicking the already smashed dashboard in order to free your body from the trap the crash had created. His movements were slower than he wanted them to be underwater. Either way, the car bent due to the force, freeing your legs. The damage caused more water to flood inside. It splashed around as he searched for your seat belt, hardly feeling his hands at this point. As he eventually found it, he yanked it out of the lock with a snap and caught your body that slumped forward as the belt no longer secured you.

"I've got you," Jake didn't know if you could hear him but he needed to believe you could. It made him feel less lonely.

Jake’s body was trembling uncontrollably, his teeth beginning to chatter as his breaths became forced and sharp. Despite all that, he managed to pull you toward him, guiding your legs up from the leg room and praying to whoever heard him that you weren’t in too much pain. To his horror, he didn’t feel your body heat. Your skin was ice cold - it must’ve been normal under these circumstances. Jake refused to believe there was any other explanation.

In the poor lighting the car offered, Jake could see that his breath was foggy. However, it was more than just alarming when he realized you weren’t breathing at all. Your eyelashes rested against your bloody cheeks and you looked like you were sleeping. Why weren’t you breathing?!

“Amor,” Jake hoped to catch your attention, that somehow you would reply to him and open those pretty eyes of yours. Oh what he would give to see you looking back at him.

Jake needed to drag you out of there and get you the help you needed. That’s exactly what he was going to do. If doctors couldn’t help you then Khonshu had to. If not, Jake would make that old bird regret it for the rest of his goddamn days.

When he didn’t get a response from you and you looked like that, so tranquil and relaxed as death crept around the corner, the entire world around him shattered. There was no way he’d give up on you this easily but Jake had seen enough bodies in his lifetime to see the striking resemblance.

“No, no, no,” Jake had never felt this way before. This hopeless and terrified, like a child in a room full of corpses. It was like hell had frozen over. Everything about this situation was obscure and so fucking unfair. This was not how it would end! Not like this… Jake couldn’t let that happen. You had so much to live for, so many things yet to see and do. He would give his life if it meant you got to keep yours.

If Marc and Steven had been co-conscious and speaking all this time, Jake didn’t notice until now. He was holding you as Steven’s voice broke the silence, carrying above the sound of water filling the space nearly to the brim. At the very same time, the lights gave out, abandoning you all in a void. That made the bone-reaching coldness all the more brutal as it was overwhelmingly the only thing Jake could really feel. Adrenaline was coursing through his body but even that couldn’t block out the chilling temperature.

“Jake, you’ve got to get us out of here! Now!” Steven was frightened, feeling the panic growing stronger by the second. His sense of survival was stronger and so he urged Jake to do something - anything that would ensure you’d live to see another day.

“Ya lo sé!” Jake wasn’t angry, at least not with Steven. He was just frustrated because of the pressure he was under. He knew he had to get out of there and having his alter freaking out too wasn’t really helping.

“Oh my god, why isn’t she breathing? Jake?! Jake…”

Marc couldn’t even speak. There were no words that did justice to how he felt as memories of his past flooded him and merged with the present. He had caught a glimpse of you slack and boneless in Jake’s arms as water surrounded you all the way up to your shoulders, rising up and up.

  Steven’s voice faded into the background as Jake got into action. It’s like he spaced out and worked on autopilot. He had one mission and that was to get you out of there alive. Nothing else mattered.

How cruel was it that fate threatened to put you through the same torture as it had put Randall through? At that very moment, Marc was convinced his existence was cursed.

Jake needed to stop ‘fate’ before it was too late. It better not dare take you now. This was not your time! 

He pulled you as close to him as he possibly could, making sure his grip was secure because he knew that the moment you’d plunge out of the car, he couldn’t risk losing you. Not when it was so dark. Not when you weren’t even breathing on your own! One wrong move and he feared he’d lose you forever. That was simply not an option.

With one last, deep breath, Jake pushed your face into his suit as if to shield your face from the water and then he kicked as hard as he could. It took a couple of tries but eventually, he kicked off the entire door, which disappeared into the shadows instantly. The air bubble was lost as water surged into the car, rushing in so fast it forced Jake to hold onto you even tighter. Finally, he made it out of the car, using his powers to move up instead of sinking to the bottom like the car did. It was probably going to stay down there for a while.

The only way to tell which was up was by blowing out air and following the direction of the bubbles. In the pitch-darkness, he relied on his other senses, feeling the bubbles moving up his face. Jake felt disorientated and dizzy, but he trusted his senses as he surged through the water and hoped it was toward the surface.

Then, at last, he began to see something again. Distant lights were guiding him in the right direction. Street lamps and city lights from far, far away. Jake reached the surface of the water and immediately sucked in another deep breath, relieved as his lungs expanded with air instead of water. As he breathed in and out a few times, he tasted mud and blood on his tongue.

He soared above the surface with you limp in his arms. The cape was drenched, weighing heavy on Jake’s shoulders. It was the first thing to reach the ground, instantly followed by his boots. As he felt secure on the ground, Jake examined his surroundings through narrowed eyes, not daring to let go of you until he knew it was safe. The shore consisted mainly of countless of rocks and dirt. There was a steep hill that lead up to the road. Right now, that offered you some shelter. Jake couldn’t see any of the cars that had been chasing you. They must’ve assumed you wouldn’t make it out of there alive.

As much as Jake wanted to go and find them, anger boiling in his veins as he thought about what they had done, he stayed put. Vengeance could wait. You couldn’t. He lowered you on your back ever so carefully and knelt by your side, the black and white cape pooling around you two. Jake made sure your head was positioned in a way that wouldn't cause further damage to the gnarly wound. Under the faint, blue glow of the moon, Jake made out your relaxed expression. That scared him beyond comprehension.

Not only that, the dress you wore did little to hide the damage the crash had caused. Cuts and bruises were scattered across your body but seeing your legs out of the water for the first time really showed how bad it was. It didn’t take a doctor to know something was broken. Jake saw the bright, red blood that gushed out of a deep wound on your thigh. After all this time, it was still pumping out blood at an alarming rate.

He cursed as he ripped his cape, not giving a damn what Khonshu thought of it as he used the material to stop the bleeding. Not that it mattered anyway, as the material reappeared out of thin air. Jake secured it around your leg as tightly as he could, hating that he had to use this kind of force on you although he knew it was for the best. If he didn’t stop the bleeding, you’d bleed out. That was much worse.

As he was done with stopping the bleeding, Jake parted his quivering lips as if to say something but nothing came out. Jake brushed your wet hair to the side, gently caressing your face in doing so and then he tried to feel your breath with the back of his hand.

Still nothing.

It only took a moment and he had pulled your head back gently to open your airways as his hands pressed together above your heart. Then without hesitating, he started to push down in a steady rhythm. Everyone always said to give chest compressions in the rhythm of a few certain songs but when the moment arrived, that was the last thing one could think about. Jake relied on Steven's help to merely count the compressions. The black and white fabric vanished from around his head so it wasn’t in the way.

An unfamiliar sting blurred Jake's vision as he tried to resuscitate you. The longer he knelt by your side, pushing your ribcage down in a way that felt way too rough, the more he dreaded the outcome. Why were you still not breathing?! He bent down to meet your lips, pinching your nose shut as he tried his best to breathe air into your lungs as steady as he possibly could. It was difficult to think that only moments before he had kissed your lips, not knowing it could’ve potentially been the very last time.

Jake pulled back, shoved his dark thoughts away and used all his strength to focus on the compressions. This was repeated again. Again. And again...

"Por favor!" Jake cried out like never before, begging for you to be okay. You had to be okay!

Truth be told, Jake began to lose focus. He never lost focus on missions. This was different. When he was faced with the chance of losing you, it shook him right to the core. The very foundation he had built with you, the safety net of knowing you were there was now threatening to slip through his fingers. Dread was making Jake feel sick to his stomach. Nothing he was doing seemed to help and that was the single most haunting realization of his life.

Jake had failed to protect you.

"Abre los ojos, mi amor. Por favor," he pleaded with raw desperation in his voice. Had Jake's enemies seen him now, they would've thought he was a man possessed. His brows furrowed in a sorrowful manner, deep brown eyes filling with tears. Jake Lockley was crying for you. His tough and cool demeanour was nowhere to be seen. How could he possibly keep a grip on himself in a moment like this? Even Jake was just a man who loved with his entire heart.

"Breathe for me. Just breathe." That’s all he asked for. He was sorry but he didn’t ask for forgiveness. Only for you to breathe.

“Lo siento mucho,” numerous apologizes slipped past his quivering lips. Could you even hear him? Did you know how sorry he was for this? 

Then it happened. Seemingly out of the blue, your eyes opened as a coughing fit forced you to turn to the side. Jake pulled his hands back from your chest and looked at you in shock. Although, as he heard the struggle in your breath, he instantly rushed to your aid. Jake rubbed your back and encouraged you to let it all out and then fill up those lungs. The coughing fit came to a halt and you were taking in deep and shaky breaths. They revealed that you were in pain but god was it a relief to know you were alive.

It was a miracle if Jake had ever seen one.

Whatever hope and joy he had felt for only a moment was quickly wiped away when he heard the pain in your voice.

“Jake!” You sobbed his name, hands trying to reach your thigh where the shooting pain came from but he stopped you. Tears welled up in your eyes instantly. Everything hurt in a way you had never felt before. You wanted it to stop.

“You’re okay. You’ll be fine, I promise,” Jake gave you his word but that was hard to believe when you writhed on the rocks in pure agony. His words went in one ear and out the other. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t find comfort in them. Not when it felt like every cell in your body had been torn apart.

“It hurts!” Those two words absolutely shattered Jake’s heart.

“I know. I’m so sorry,” Jake didn’t know what else to say. Words couldn’t heal you magically, could they? So what was the point? Knowing that you were in any kind of pain was just awful, truly awful. He wished he had the ability to take it all away in the blink of an eye. Somehow, he needed to take you to the nearest hospital but he was terrified of touching you and hurting you furthermore.

In a state of panic, you tried to sit up so you could see what was causing you so much pain, but moving your body was almost impossible. When you tried lift your head from the ground, a sharp sting in your neck forced you to stop. Flashes of what happened came to you, reminding you of the car chase. Where were the others now? Had Jake dealt with them? Or were they out there, waiting for an opportunity to strike again?

“What h-happened?” You wondered as hot tears rolled down your face. God it was cold. You didn’t notice until now how badly you were shivering. Even Jake was cold, his hands not warming up yours like they used to. Even in the state of shock you were in, you realized you were both soaking wet.

Jake didn’t know what to say or do. He just wanted to get you somewhere safe where people could help you. But how? The car was in the bottom on the sea and he had no idea if it was safe to move you. Did you have whiplash? Inner bleedings? Would lifting you make it worse? How could he call for help when you didn’t have phones and the nearest house was probably miles away.

A gush of wind went right to Jake’s bones, making him shiver because of how cold it was but it also revealed that Khonshu was standing right behind him. He didn’t even have to look to know the god was looming over his shoulder. If not to help then Jake didn’t care. He had no patience for Khonshu’s games now.

“I suggest you get up. You’ve got company,” Khonshu warned Jake in a calm and collected way. The god’s words changed Jake’s demeanour. The people who had put you through so much already came back and it was the worst mistake those people had ever made. The spiraling panic and fear were wiped to the side as Jake nodded, acknowledging Khonshu’s warning.

There was no way in hell he would let them hurt you again.

As Jake heard an engine roaring nearby, coming closer and closer, he knew he had to protect you no matter what the cost. He looked down at you, silently apologizing for what he had to do. Even when he did it to make sure you were safe, he felt incredibly guilty for having to leave your side. Just a second was enough to make him feel rotten deep down to the core.

“Everything will be alright,” Jake bent down to your face level, looking you right in the eye as he spoke, “I promise.”

You heard the car as well which filled your every vein with terror. So you hadn’t managed to escape from them after all.

“Be careful,” You could hardly get the two words past your bloodied lips. You knew he was going to face them, there was no doubt about it. You had to trust he would come back for you.

He placed the softest kiss on your forehead, refusing to speak of the thoughts that tormented him. A kiss would have to do. It would have to express how sorry he was. It had to express his promise that he’d come back to you. That soon you wouldn’t feel all that pain anymore.

Then he got up, summoned the hood and the mask so he was fully suited and he got up the hill before the bad guys could come down and find you. If they did, Jake had zero doubt they would aim for you instead of him.

When Jake saw a familiar car parked on the other side of the road, he saw red.

The driver looked scared out of his mind when he faced Jake in his ceremonial armor, much darker than Marc’s, much more intimidating than Steven’s. His cape was now flowing in the wind and his eyes were glowing, glaring daggers into the man’s head. Jake looked furious even when the dark fabric covered his face. Rage was radiating off of him and the driver must’ve realized his mistake; coming after you again.

The driver pointed his gun at Jake and pulled the trigger. Twice. Three times. Then he stopped because the bullets seemed to do nothing to Jake. He kept walking toward the car with only one goal in mind - to defeat the enemy.

“Stop!” The terrified man yelled, trying to intimidate Jake Lockley. He needed a lot of luck if he wanted to succeed in that.

“Don’t come closer!”

Jake noticed another man in the passenger seat. He was already dead, presumably from the bullets that flew their way during the car chase. The driver would join his friend soon. Wherever they went to after this life.

As Jake reached the man, he tried to open the car door and use that to push Jake. Worth a shot, but Jake saw it coming so he slammed the door shut and trapped the man inside. The window was already rolled down so it made it easy for Jake to reach into the car and wrap his hand around the man’s neck. There wasn’t a single part of Jake that felt bad for crushing that man’s windpipe. There were worse things he could do but he didn’t have time. Oh if it was up to Jake, he’d rip his fucking spine out of his back. This was merciful when compared to what Jake would’ve done if you weren’t currently bleeding out on the rocks.

In a last, desperate attempt to come out of this alive, the man pointed the damn gun at Jake’s head. In just a split second, Jake used his other hand to grab the barrel of the gun. His grip was so tight that the solid metal barrel bent under his touch, forcing the bullet to get stuck somewhere in there. Now it was rendered useless and Jake didn’t hesitate to throw it out on the road, smashing it into bits and pieces in doing so.

“No debiste ni mirarla,” Jake made sure that the last thing this poor excuse of a man ever did was regret coming after you. He would have to die realizing the cost of that one mistake.

The man let out a silent scream or plea - it didn’t matter. His nails dug into Jake’s suit, trying to claw his way free from the deadly grip but to no avail. In fact, it just made Jake squeeze harder, pushing the man’s head into the seat because of the sheer force he was using.

As Jake stood there with his arm inside the vehicle, he looked around the empty road and deep into the dark woods. The silence was ominous. The loneliness a reminder of the fact no one was going to help you. Clouds swirled around the moon in the ever darkening sky. It was the only witness to this man’s early demise.

No one else had been stupid enough to follow you there.

                      Seeing you in that hospital bed was the worst thing Jake had ever seen in his entire life.

Hooked up to all these machines with needles and tubes sticking into you to the point he could hardly see your beautiful face. Instead of hearing the soft sounds of your relaced breaths, he was forced to listen to the beeping of a heart monitor and the low buzz of all the other machines that did things Jake didn’t even know about. That repeating beep was tantalizing. 

But it was also a sign that you were alright. In a way, the worst sight he had ever seen was also a relief. You had gotten the help you needed and were now on the path of getting better. There was no place he’d rather be with you now than this hospital, surrounded by skilled experts who could rush in without wasting any time if you needed help.

Getting to the hospital felt like such a distant memory now. Jake had thrown the bodies out of the car and used it to get you from the middle of nowhere to the nearest hospital. Despite the fact that driving was the reason you had gotten hurt in the first place, Jake drove again without hesitation. What were the odds of getting into another accident right after the first one, right?

He barely remembered what he had said when you reached the building. Nurses and guards had swarmed you, taking you away from Jake because they knew you needed urgent care. Letting them roll you away from him had been difficult to do. Jake was so scared someone would try to hurt you again. Trusting strangers with your life, even when they dedicated their lives in helping others, was incredibly difficult. By the time he realized the security guards were refusing him to follow you any further, Jake stopped. 

You were getting the help you needed. There was nothing more he could do. Knowing that your fate was out of his control was scary. Jake had to trust these people to give you the care you needed and deserved. He didn’t trust easily.

Jake learned that they were performing emergency surgery on you when a doctor had walked up to him and asked all sorts of questions. The police had arrived too. Everything had been a bloody mess, as Steven would’ve said.

Hours later, it was all over. The questioning, the nauseating feeling of having to wait for you to get out of surgery. Just to hear that everything went well. Jake needed to know you’d make a full recovery. It took some convincing to do but finally, he was by your side in a hospital room and Jake wasn’t going anywhere.

What if more of those guys decided to find you? What if they found out where you were staying? Would they kill you if Jake left you alone for even a moment?

That was a risk he refused to take. He would rather sit on the uncomfortable plastic chair by your bedside and hold your hand all night long. Was it night or was it morning? Jake had no clue. 

“Mate,” Steven’s careful voice snapped Jake out of the bubble of thoughts he had been in. He raised his gaze from your sleeping face to meet Steven’s in the reflection in the small mirror on the wall right above the sink. He looked worried sick. Worried about you and Jake.

“What?” Jake was beyond exhausted. His eyelids were heavy and he didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. He had done enough talking with doctors and police who had the audacity to suspect that Jake had hurt you. The fucking nerve of some people.

“You should go home-”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jake didn’t even let Steven finish that sentence. By shooting another glance at the mirror, Jake realized Marc was still not there. Great. Just great.

“Look at yourself!” Steven put his foot down, trying so hard to look after everyone. “You’re covered in blood and dirt. Do you think that she’ll be relieved to wake up to that?”

Jake clenched his jaw and ignored his alter. He hated to admit that Steven had a point. Then again, he didn’t want to leave your side. Not even when he had dry blood on his face and hair and he could smell it on his torn up shirt. His dark locks were disheveled. 

The nurses and doctors who walked in to check on you from time to time must’ve thought Jake looked terrifying. One of the nurses had even offered him a chance to shower at the hospital, seemingly out of pity but Jake had refused. She even let him know when the hospital cafe opened if he needed anything from there.

“She’ll be fine, Jake. She has all the help she needs right here. Just go home, take care of yourself and come back after.”

A shower sounded nice, it really did. Also food wouldn’t hurt. It felt like forever ago when you and Jake had eaten the fast food on your date. It had only been less than a day but had someone told Jake weeks had passed, he would’ve almost believed them.

“I can’t,” Jake sighed eventually, his shoulders slumping down as he leaned against your hospital bed. He studied your face and brought his still trembling fingers to your cheek, ever so carefully caressing your soft skin just below the tubing of the nasal cannula. Were you dreaming? If so, Jake hoped you had the sweetest dreams. Perhaps the medication caused you to dream of nothing at all. Maybe it was for the best. He knew you needed the rest.

Steven didn’t want to leave your side either, no. But he also knew that Jake wasn’t able to help you when he was in that state. A shower and some food, maybe even a nap would do wonders. Besides, Steven knew you’d be safe here. The hospital security had definitely noticed that something odd was going on here. They had been patrolling the corridor ever since you had been wheeled into the room after surgery. If anyone tried to come visit you that wasn’t Jake or family, they would be stopped.

Steven fronted now, sensing that Jake just didn’t have it in him to fight. Part of Jake wanted to let someone else front, to give up control for a while. So when Steven was in control, he wasn’t really surprised that Jake didn’t even argue with him. It was better this way.

“Oh, love,” Steven felt a pang in his chest as he felt everything so much more vividly. The smell of the hand sanitizer that was a distinct smell all over the hospital. He could feel the exhaustion in his body, feel how the thin hospital blanket felt like against his skin. Despite Khonshu’s healing, it felt like Steven had gone through hell. If he felt this way, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what you were going through. Steven was afraid to touch you but he fought that fear as he placed his hand above yours. It didn’t take long for him to feel the tears in the corners of his eyes.

How could anyone in their right mind ever wish to hurt you? Steven couldn’t understand that. He just couldn’t.

“I’ll be right back, yeah?” Steven tried to smile. He pressed a feather-light kiss on the roof of your hand, relieved when he realized your skin was warm. That alone was a good sign.

“I’ll bring you something from the flat. I promise it won’t take long,” Steven gave you his word as he stood up, taking in the sight of you resting in a hospital bed. That one would haunt his nightmares and memories for a long time.

But he had to go. Steven knew you would stay here for a while so he already planned on bringing you things that would make you feel closer to home. Should he bring a book so he could read to you? Perhaps your own clothes would make you feel more comfortable than the ones provided by the hospital. Surely no one would mind if he brought your favourite movies. It’s not like the hospital TV had Netflix on it. He’d figure something out.

                                        Steven had been right. Jake was too stubborn to tell him though. He felt much better in clean clothes and without blood all over him. Some of it had been your blood, which only made it worse. He had even packed a bag full of clothes and other things he figured you would need on your stay.

Just as promised, you were alright when they came back. Steven hadn’t taken a nap at the flat because he too wanted to waste no time. There was a need to take care of you and that need told him to make sure you wouldn’t wake up alone. Steven had just made it back to the plastic chair. The moment he sat down and knew you were okay, he fell asleep right by your side, his hand never letting go of yours.

Jake was fronting when you woke up. His eyes snapped open as he watched you take in your surroundings. The relief on your face when you saw him was visible. Seeing him made you feel safe.

It was obvious you were in a hospital although you didn’t remember getting there. Not that it mattered. You felt an odd sense of joy when you realized Jake was holding your hand. Perhaps you just felt odd in general. You swore your vision was hazy, almost dream like. Focusing on something was near impossible. There was something on your face that felt uncomfortable and you tried to pull it off. Jake grabbed your other wrist ever so carefully to stop you.

“I can’t let you do that, amor. It helps you breathe,” He explained and then let go of you, knowing you wouldn’t try that again.

“...you…mkay?” You mumbled tiredly, frustrated as your body didn’t co-operate with your mind. Moving your lips when they felt numb was strange. Just finding your voice proved to be hard. Must’ve been the morphine. All you wanted was to know Jake was alright.

Jake knew what you were trying to ask and it made his heart tighten in his chest. After everything you had been through you worried about him. Jake felt undeserving of your pure love and concern. If it wasn’t for him and the entire ordeal with Khonshu, you wouldn’t be hospitalized in the first place!

“I’m okay,” He let you know.

That made you smile droopily, your lips curving slightly more to the left side than the right. At least the drugs were working.

“I’m gonna go get a doc, alright?”

You squeezed Jake’s hand weakly before he could get up. Just for a moment longer, you wanted to be like this. You knew that when the doctor would walk in, reality would crash over you. Honestly, it was terrifying. You didn’t want to hear the awful news they most certainly had nor were you interested in knowing how long you had to be there. For just a brief moment longer, you wanted to be with Jake and tell yourself everything was perfectly fine. Granted, the dull ache in your body told another story.

“Not yet,” You muttered, tilting your head to the side and forcing your body to relax against the stacked pillows. Fear and anxiety were beginning to torment you, whispering terrible things to the part of your brain that wondered what would happen next. That brought tears to your eyes without you even realizing it.

“Okay,” Jake wasn’t going to argue with you. He suspected there was a reason for this request. “I’m not going anywhere yet.”

After he confirmed that, you nodded as if to let the words sink in. In a moment of clarity, you looked down your body that was covered in blankets. You tried to move your legs cautiously, remembering the pain from before. When you felt how restricted your movements were, Jake closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He knew something you didn’t. His reaction caused your anxiety to spike.

If something was wrong with you, you wanted to hear it from him instead of a doctor who didn’t know you or care about you. Not personally, at least.

“Baby,” You swallowed the lump in your throat, “how bad is it?”

Of course, you asked that. Jake would’ve been a fool if he believed you wouldn’t. This was your life and your body you were talking about.

“They said you’ll make a full recovery,” Jake started with that, failing to meet your eye as he continued, “but it will take some time.”

“And the…the people who did this?” That question didn’t need any clarification.

“They won’t bother you ever again,” Jake hadn’t taken all of them out but he would stop at nothing to make sure vengeance was delivered upon each and every one of them. 

“I promise.”

“Okay,” You believed him. That didn’t make it hurt any less. Without even seeing most of your body and with strong medications concealing the true amount of pain you were in, you knew it was going to be a long time before this could be put in the past.

That made you feel defeated in so many ways. 

Would they stick by your side through it all? Or would this scare all of them away from you forever? 

Jake saw the tears rolling down your face, glistening in the corners of your eyes as you held your breath in order to keep your sobs and whimpers to yourself. He had never seen such a miserable expression on your face and neither did he want to. If someone had a time machine, he would steal it if that would undo what had already happened. Jake would do anything to make sure you’d never have to feel this way.

“Oh, mi amor,” he didn’t hesitate to move from the chair to the edge of the hospital bed, being incredibly cautious as to avoid hurting you as he wrapped you in his arms. When Jake pulled you close to his chest and you felt his tender embrace, it was impossible to keep the cries at bay any longer.

Jake swayed from side to side ever so softly as you clung onto his shirt and let it all out in violent sobs. At the worst of it, you couldn’t even bring yourself to speak. Jake was quiet too, knowing that no words could fix this. He offered to hold you in his loving arms as you let the pain out.

Eventually, your cries calmed down but neither of you let go of each other. Jake felt your chest rising as you took in shaky breaths, working so hard just to steady them. You wondered if he knew that his cologne was calming you down. It was constant, something that reminded you of good things. It reminded you of home. You wanted nothing more than to go home but you knew you couldn’t. Not like this.

As Jake held you, his eyes peered out through the blinds. The window gave him a view of the hospital parking lot. Cars were driving in and out, struggling to find a parking spot and others struggling to navigate their way through the concrete mess. Somewhere out there, near or far in the distance, were the rest of the people who stood behind this. Living their lives and going on about their days with far less damage. Perhaps they were trying to come up with a new master plan to catch Khonshu’s avatar. To destroy him by hurting the one thing they truly loved.

Jake was heartbroken but if anyone saw his expression, they would see a man full of rage. He shot death glares out the window, only thinking about what he’d do once he found them. It wouldn’t be pretty. He wouldn’t have to go after them alone, no. Steven and Marc would be there too.

A/N: Should I write a part 2? If you enjoyed it pls let me know. The next part would be more focused on hurt/comfort and recovery. Maybe even smut, who knows 👀