#nothing bad or scarring happened though - nothing too intense either

[byakuyasdarling]

need a warm husband to snuggle and to heat me up

[strawberrybuni]

I MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING

Pairings(separate): Satoru x reader, Suguru x reader, Kento x reader, Toji x reader, Choso x reader Summary: You had a bad accident that gave you amnesia, and you no longer remember him, and he just can't seem to move on Word Count: 4.1k CW: a LOT of angst, hurt no comfort :( A/N: I'd rather jump into a volcano than make choso cry tbh

GOJO SATORU

Satoru was someone who never bothered with dating. After all, he was such a busy man, he didn't really have time to even think about all that, yet he somehow managed to find time for you. The two of you were damn near inseparable, twin flames if you will.

You were a talented sorcerer, a grade 1 and always improving. He always took so much pride in your growth and how you strived to continue to get stronger alongside him. You two used to spend as much time together as possible, but now he's grateful if you even respond to one of his texts.

About a year ago, you two were on a mission, and a curse user caught you off guard, getting you bad with an attack. You had suffered some pretty intense injuries, it was a miracle you were even still alive. However, your injuries came with a permanent scar, amnesia.

Your memories were completely shot, either in bits and pieces, or just completely gone from your head altogether. Unfortunately for him, he was completely wiped from your brain. Even worse? Your attitude towards him took a complete 180. The fire of once being his twin flame now completely put out with zero chance of it being relit. He wasn't sure if you not remembering various events of your life altered your personality and the way you thought, but you practically hated him now.

Any time he tries to speak to you, he's met with glares, eye rolls, and half assed responses. It didn't stop him from talking to you, though. He would rather you be rude to him than never talk to him again.

Satoru is a man who never spoke on how things affected him or how they made him feel. No one knew how he reread your old text messages over and over again, or how he cries sometimes over the loss of you. No one knew how he lost countless hours of sleep just looking over your vids and pics that you two had taken when you were still together.

No one knew how he was dying on the inside.

“You gonna stay up here moping all day, or try talking to them?” He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts as Shoko came to stand beside him.

He had been in his usual spot watching you from above as you trained with the students. He had been lost in thought, fantasizing about how the training would’ve been going if things were as they used to be. 

“Nah, I already bothered them today. Maybe I will later though.” He responded with his usual grin, but she saw right through his facade.

They stood there in silence, just watching, the faint sound of laughter filling the air. To Satoru, it almost felt like the universe was laughing at him. First he loses his one and only best friend, and now he's being forced to lose his one true love. Love really is the worst curse of them all, huh?

“You can talk to me, you know,” Shoko finally spoke after a few moments, not wanting to see her friend suffering alone. “It's fine, there's nothing to talk about anyways.”

“But there is Satoru. You might think you have everyone fooled and thinking that you’re unbothered by what happened, but not me. You don't.. have to go through all this alone.”

He mulled over her words for a few moments before shrugging slightly, deciding to be somewhat honest. “I guess I just.. don't find any point in talking about it. They don't love me anymore, and that's that. All I can do is accept it and go forward. If I push too much, they'll end up hating me more than they already do.”

He didn't want to accept it, though. God what he’d give to have you by his side once again. There aren't any lengths he wouldn't go to just to have you remember him. To call him Toru again. To love him again.

“Well that's surprisingly mature of you.” she teased with a sympathetic smile, causing him to pout. “Heyyy! I can be mature!”

She laughed at his whine, then smiled softly as she rubbed his back. “Just know we're all worried about you, okay? If you ever need anything, I’m a text away.”

He nodded with a smile, not bothering to say anything as he watched her leave. His smile slowly faded once she was out of sight, his attention being on you once again. He brought a finger up to pull his blindfold down around his neck as he watched you, letting out a shaky sigh.

“I really do miss you, sweetheart.”

GETO SUGURU

You were out and about with your friends, having a good day out in the nice weather. You had since recovered from the accident you were in, the same accident that gave you a nasty case of amnesia. You had lost a decent portion of your memories. Fortunately, you remembered most of your friends and they’ve all bee a great help in helping you readjust.

“So uh.. how’s it been between you and Suguru?” One of them asks out of the blue. Suguru, your boyfriend before your accident 6ish months ago who was no longer playing that role in your life. “I mean, there’s nothing really going on, we talk sometimes if that’s what you’re asking”

“Well I was just wondering because he’s kind of sort of..” Your friend trailed off, motioning discreetly in a direction to which your eyes followed. Your eyes made contact with his as you found him to be leaning against a wall not far from where you and your friends are, a frown instantly gracing your lips. “Give me a moment."

You got up, incredibly upset as you made your way over him. You had felt a lot of sympathy towards him given the circumstances. You couldn’t even imagine what it would be like for your lover to suddenly no longer remember you. So, you agreed to try and make a relationship work, but after a few months, you found you just aren't into him anymore. No matter what you did, you just couldn't find that love for him again. So, you broke it off and offered to just be friends, not for him to borderline stalk you.

“What the fuck Suguru? Why are you here?” You ask, since this isn’t exactly the first time he’s appeared ‘randomly’ where you happen to be. “I just happened to be in the area.”

“Bullshit. That’s your excuse every time I catch you lurking. I know I said we could be friends, but this is the opposite of how friends should act.”

Suguru frowned at your words. He hated when you referred to him as just some friend. He didn’t want to be your friend, he wanted his title as your boyfriend back. Yes he agreed to being friends, but that was only so he could continue to try and recapture your heart.

“Well apologies Y/N, I actually was in the area I just.. was curious about what you were up to and followed for a bit.”

“Do you not realize how weird that is? What if I’m on a date, then what?” His frown deepened at your response. “You’re already going on dates?”

“Oh my god I can’t keep having the same conversation with you.”

Time and time again, he would insert himself into your personal affairs as if he was still your boyfriend. He’d get pushy for answers, needing to know what you’re doing. He just misses when you’d give him those silly little updates on what’s going on throughout your day. All of your selfies, your audio messages. God he misses it all. He didn’t mean to act like a creep, but he couldn’t help himself.

“What I do in MY dating life is MY business. We are not a thing anymore Suguru, get that through your head.”

“How do you expect me to do that, huh? How do you expect me to be okay with watching you go out with some other dude, to let him know you like I knew you. For him to attempt to love you the way I loved you. You’re being unfair, no?"

“Honestly I'm being really fair. I have done nothing but try to make things work because you seemed like genuinely a nice guy. Unfortunately, it didn’t play out how we hoped it would. I set my boundaries in us just being friends and you’re the one continuing to push my boundaries again and again. So no Suguru, you’re the one being unfair.”

You were right, and he knew that, but he just can’t go on without you, and doing this almost made him feel apart.

“Look Suguru, because I’m so generous, I’ll give you one last fucking chance. Push my boundaries again and I’m blocking you. Got it?” You asked, to which he nodded. “Got it.”

He watched you return to your friends, hands in his pockets as he left. He had no intentions of stopping, he just was going to be smarter and sneakier about things. You’ll love him again one day, he has to keep believing that for the sake of his sanity. He just has to.

NANAMI KENTO

Your feet dragged against the carpeted floor as you made your way down the hallway to Kento’s apartment. It felt like it went on forever as the feeling of dread bubbled up in your chest at what you were about to do.

Bringing your hand up, you gently knock a few times, anxiously awaiting for him to open the door.

“Ah, Y/N, I didn’t expect to see you. It’s a pleasant surprise, I was actually in the midst of cooking if you’d like to come in.” Kento’s face was kind, eyes almost pleading for you to accept his offer. He missed you in ways you could never even begin to imagine, which is why it was making it so hard for you to go through with this.

“Thank you, but that's okay. I just um.. I came to return this to you.” You held out your hand, your engagement ring resting in your palm.

Kento felt his mouth run dry.

“What? Why.. why are you..” He tried to find the words to speak, his mind unable to comprehend what you're doing, thoughts going a mile a minute.

“I'm sorry Nanami, I really really am. I’ve been trying to find those feelings again, to feel what I felt before the accident, to remember you. I just.. it’s been months now and I just can't go on with this engagement, because at this rate I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that love for you again. I’m.. I'm sorry.”

You truly felt remorseful, he seemed like such a wonderful man, you can understand why you fell for him in the first place. But for some reason, you just weren't in love with him anymore. The love you once felt for him was long gone.

Ever since your accident, the two of you tried everything to get you to remember. Hell, he’d be fine with you falling in love with him all over again. He doesn't care, just as long as you two are together. 

You’re the love of his life, you’re the oxygen he breathes. Irreplaceable. No one could ever compare to you in his eyes, he just can't live without you. Your wedding was supposed to be in a few months, and what was supposed to be the happiest day of his life was slowly slipping through his fingers, and there was nothing he could do about it.

“No, no no, wait please Y/N. Can't we just try a little longer? I don't mean to be pushy but I feel like we were really getting somewhere and–” Please don't do this. “But we weren't, I was just forcing it because I didn't want to hurt you–”

“I just don't understand why we can't keep trying, we had so many plans together Y/N. Marriage, kids, a house in Malaysia.”

“And that sounds lovely but Nanami–”

“Stop calling me that.” The air around you two fell awkwardly silent. “Call me Ken.. please.. like you always have.” His voice was broken, defeated. He's dealt with so much loss in his life, he couldn't bear to lose you too.

His days have become so devoid of the color you once brought to his life. Before you, he was simply going through the motions of life because that's what he had to do. Now that he’s had you, he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. He doesn’t want to go back to how it was before you.

“I’m sorry I just..” He sighed, a hand coming up to rub his face. He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, he really didn't, but god he was so desperate to try and get you to change your mind. “You’re everything to me. Without you I just.. I'm a shell of a man. Things aren't the same without you by my side. Please can't we just keep trying for a little longer? We could have a breakthrough.”

You listened to his ramble, but you weren't budging. You didn't think it was healthy for him to keep holding onto something that just was no longer written in the stars.

“I can't anymore Kento, I don’t.. I don't want to do this anymore, I'm sorry. I think continuing to try is a lost cause, and only it's filling you with false hope.” He remained silent at your words, nodding in reluctant acceptance, knowing pushing the envelope wouldn't end in his favor.

“Alright.. may I request one last thing from you, before you go?” He asks, fighting back his tears and emotions. “Please, stay for dinner. Cooking for you was something that always bought me joy and.. I'd like to at least sit and eat with you one last time.”

You thought for a few moments before nodding, it was the least you could do. You'd give him this one last thing before you leave for good. 

Originally, Kento wasn't going to go back to sorcerer work, since he didn't want to risk his life and leave you alone, but after you had left and he thought it over again, he decided he would accept Gojo’s request for his assistance.

He had decided on his plan. Once this final mission in Shibuya is all said and done, he'd leave for Malaysia, and maybe, just maybe finally have a better life for himself there.

What could possibly go wrong?

FUSHIGURO TOJI

Love was something Toji never thought he'd ever try again. He had no interest in commitment in the slightest. If it wasn't just a quick fuck or a dynamic that benefitted him in some way, he truly just couldn’t give a damn.

That was, until you appeared in his life. 

What started out as just a friends with benefits type relationship, it slowly morphed into the both of you desiring more from each other.

You both understood each other. You were both from tragic backgrounds and dark pasts, and you two accepted good with the bad from one another. You two were so happy and in love.

Until the accident.

You were a curse user like him, and went on missions the same way he did. However, one really bad impact to the head had you in the hospital for a good few months. You were in a coma, and everyday he prayed that you would wake up. Although, now he kind of wishes that you did.

When you had awoken, you had lost various memories, including him. You didn't remember meeting him, all the moments you two shared, when he finally started telling you he loved you, none of it. And it killed him, not that he’d ever say it aloud.

When he told you how he was your boyfriend, while yes you found him to be very attractive, you just didn't feel the same about him anymore. You were always a closed off guarded individual due to your trauma. Yet for some reason back then, you allowed him into your heart. This time, however, you had zero interest in that.

Toji felt so many things. He was angry, confused, and heartbroken. How could you not remember all the times you two shared? Why did you not even want to try? Why didn't you care?

All the self improvement you helped him with all went down the drain. He just didn't care about anything or anyone anymore. Losing his first wife was hard, it destroyed him. Now he's losing you, except you're not even actually gone. You're right there, before his eyes, and has to watch you continue to live your life without him. 

“Shiu! That stupid mission was a– oh, um, hi Toji.” You awkwardly greeted him as you entered the office, not expecting to see him during your visit to Shiu. The tension in the room grew thick as Shiu cleared his throat. “I'm uh, gonna go smoke this. I'll be right back.” That bastard.

An awkward silence hung in the air before Toji decided to break it. “So, you seein’ anyone?

“I don't really think that's–”

“It's just a harmless question, doll.” His tone is borderline condescending, you let it slide though. “I was, not anymore though.”

Toji bit back a laugh at that. He liked to believe that deep down in your subconscious, you needed him just the way you always have, and that you’d never find another person who’d make you feel as he did.

“Yeah? And why's that?” He pressed, wanting any indication that his theory had any basis in reality. “Why does even that matter? It’s none of your business.”

You shot him down. Any time you two bumped into each other, he always pulled this. He'd get far too nosy about your dating life and you were tired of it. You understand that you two were in love before and that it's hard for him, but he needed to let it go. You weren’t interested and that was that.

“Ya know, if you ever want–”

“No.”

Toji frowned, irritation bubbling his chest from your immediate rejection. “I wasn't looking for a relationship doll, just a good fuck. You really think I wanna be bothered with you again? I barely wanted to even when we were together.” He spoke harshly, none of his words even being true.

He hated himself for the way he was treating you, but he just couldn't stop himself. Hurt people hurt people, after all.

“Just tell Shiu to call me. I'm leaving.” Before he could say anything, you were already out the door, refusing to take his attitude any longer.

Whatever, he was fine before without you anyway. He'll continue to tell himself that doesn't need you until he finally tricks his mind into believing it's true.

CHOSO

Loud knocks at your door awoke you from your sleep, having fallen asleep by mistake on the couch. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you reached for your phone to check the time. 

Nearly 2AM.

“Y/N?? A-Are you in there? Please I-I just wanna talk.” A once all too familiar voice sounded from the other side of the door, and you knew it was him. 

Choso, the man who apparently was your boyfriend before your accident.

A sigh left your lips, you already knew what this was about. You had blocked him on everything because you believed this would be beneficial to him. You felt this would help him move on, because that's simply what he was going to have to do. Yet he just wouldn't.

You reluctantly made your way to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. He looked like a mess. His eyes were bloodshot, red and puffy from what you could only assume was from hours of crying. His stripe on his nose was dripping, as if his emotions were pouring from it. He truly looked pitiful.

“Choso..” You felt awful, you really did. You didn't mean to cause this man so much pain and turmoil, but you weren't going to fake being in love with him. That wouldn't make the situation any better.

“W-Why? Y-You– you blocked me? Why?” He stuttered out, once dried tears slowly beginning to wet his face once again as he started to cry, his breaths coming out shaky and broken.

You let him inside, worried about him having an anxiety attack and nosy neighbors being in your business.

“Choso I'm really going to need you to breathe–” The second the door is shut, he’s pulling you in for a tight hug, his body shaking as small cries leave him. “Choso–”

“I-I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry. I just need t-to touch you” You suppose you could give him this. “Okay but you're squeezing me too tight, you're going to hurt me if you don't loosen up.”

You two stood like that for a few moments. You offered comfort to the best of your ability, rubbing his back soothingly. You knew you needed to calm him down as much as possible for the news you were going to break to him. 

“I think.. we should sit and talk.” Your soft voice broke the silence. You gently removed yourself from his tight hold, guiding him to sit on the couch.

“I.. blocked you because I felt it’s for the best” You turned your head away from him, the sad puppy dog look in his eyes making you feel far too guilty. “I know before my accident we were together and in love but.. I need you to understand that I no longer feel that way. I don't remember you anymore–”

“B-But that doesn't mean you c-can’t remember one day, right? R-Right??” That was something you didn't have an answer for.

“I don’t–”

“B-But you remember everyone else, w-why not me? Why don't you r-remember me?” He begged for an answer, shaky hands coming to hold yours, squeezing them tight. “T-There has to be s-something we can do right? Maybe Shoko could d-do something, anything. We just need to–”

“Choso, please just stop.” You felt a pang in your heart as his shoulders slumped, but you had to throw the cold water in his face. “There is nothing that can be done. I'm sorry, I am. I wish for your sake that I could wake up with all my memories of you back but I just can't. I'm just.. not interested in you in that way anymore.” You slowly pulled your hands from his, resting yours in your lap as you continued. This really sucked. 

“I thought maybe we could be friends, and over time either my memories would return or I'd develop feelings for you again but.. I just don't feel that way towards you. And you're so.. clingy. The way you are is unhealthy Choso. You have to move on.”

His eyes went wide at your words, his world shattering before him as he rapidly shook his head. “No. No no no I-I don't want to do that. I can't do that p-please.”

“You're going to have to. I know I was your first love, but I promise you'll find someone else who will–”

“I-I don't want anyone else I-I want you. I don’t want to e-ever even think about m-my life without you p-please, I’ll do a-anything Y/N please.”

He was becoming hysterical again and you're far too exhausted to be able to properly calm him down. Besides, he'd just do what he's been doing for the last two months. He'll cry and cry until you feel guilty enough to change your mind. Not this time. 

“I'm sorry Choso, but I need you to leave. It’s over” You stood up from the couch, wanting to be done with this conversation. Giving him the cold shoulder was something you didn't necessarily want to do, but he was leaving you with no choice at this point.

As you approached your door to let him out,  you heard a thud from behind you followed by a hand grasping your ankle to prevent you from going any further. The sight before you as turned your head to look only worsened how you felt. 

He was on his knees, his head down, grasping your ankle in a final desperate plea. “P-Please… d-don’t do this to me..” 

It was your turn for your shoulders to slump, but your mind was already made as you whispered “Please, don't make me call Yuji..”

You felt his grip loosen at your words, before completely releasing your ankle. He slowly rose to his feet, his eyes trained on the floor, knowing if he looks at you, he’ll completely crumble and he wouldn’t be able to leave. He doesn’t say another word as he leaves, knowing there’s nothing he could say that would change your mind.

“Goodbye.. Choso.” You said for the last time before closing the door.

[kasagia]

Bruises and scars

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! tidemaker! reader Summary: Kaz Brekker believed he was too broken and bruised to ever count on you reciprocating his childish crush. You were a powerful Grisha, someone who wouldn't be content to be in a relationship with the human shell that he was. That's why he gives you the cold shoulder, that's why he avoids you like the water you wield so well, that's why he tried to drive you away after the day you confessed your feelings to him. Kaz Brekker couldn't love anyone. It would not be beneficial to either side. But Kaz Rietveld rises from the dead, reminding him of what it's like to feel unconditional, blind love. And he won't give up. Not until he gets his girl back... isn't it too late for that, though? Warning(s): Kaz and his trauma; violence; he's afraid of his feelings but loves the reader; generally Kazzle misses the reader; angst with fluff; I'm a sucker for happy endings, but the boy suffered WITHOUT HIS INVESTMENT; mentions of de@th and bl00d Word count: 7,4k

Counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me

"You're sending Jesper to do your dirty work for you? I didn't know you were afraid to talk to one of your own crows." you stormed into his office without even bothering to knock. Kaz swallowed. He really should have been better prepared for this conversation. After all, he knew you wouldn't give up so easily. "What is this?" you asked, slamming the wad of paper onto his desk.

"I thought you could read. This is your next job." he replied calmly, not looking up from the papers in his hand.

"In some snobbish fucking king's palace? Are you kidding me?"

"Nikolai isn't that bad. You'll see when you get there."

"And what makes you think that I will voluntarily leave Ketterdam, the club, my friends, and the Crows for two bloody years, Kaz?" for the first time since you walked into his office, he looked up from his papers, fixing you with a cool, impassive gaze.

"That I'm your boss, and you have to obey me. You needed a reminder, judging by the tone of voice you use when you speak to me."

"Was it because of what I said to you when I almost..."

"No!" he growled at you, stopping you from finishing your sentence. That day had already joined his nightmares anyway. He didn't have to constantly recall your almost-death. "It has nothing to do with it." he said, hoping that would put an end to your conversation and went back to writing down the numbers.

"Do not lie to me. I know when you do it, Kaz. You got scared because I said I love…"

"You can go and get ready, Y/N." he said without looking up from the paper he was holding. He had never felt her gaze so hot and intense on him before. They always glanced furtively at each other, discreetly indulging in the silly fantasy of loving each other.

Like they could ever afford to live a normal life. As if he could ever love you properly—the way you deserved.

You stared at him intently, trying to find any trace of emotion in him, any evidence that he didn't really want to send you away from Ketterdam, that he was only doing it because Dirtyhands was afraid of the growing feeling between you two.

"I can hold on like this, Kaz." your soft whisper cut through him, making him shiver. He could bear your screams, your anger, your madness, but the tenderness, the vulnerability you showed only around him… was much more dangerous to the cold Barrel Bastard. "I can go and return to you like nothing happened. I can stay near you and pretend I don't feel anything towards you. I can stop myself from wishing for your slightest touch. I can hide my true emotions around you and other people, just like I have done before… but please just prove to me that it's all worth it. That you can slowly take off pieces of your armour and let me see and be with the real you. Not the Brekker's mask you wore every time we were on Ketterdam's street. Not the Dirtyhands' cruel version of yourself that you created to survive in this town. Not the Bastard from the Barrel, who has so much power in his hands to take down his every enemy. Just the real you, Kaz. The genius-mind boss who cares about his people, not only the kruge. The man who loves his friends more than anything on this earth. The man who risked his own life and saved me from death's arms more times than I could count. Please… just give me this little piece of hope." he tried hard not to raise his gaze to meet your captivating, imploring irises that could touch Brekker's heart.

He knew that the moment he looked at your face, he would doom you both by giving in to this burning desire to be with you.

But he couldn't.

He had to keep you away from him.

"You must be foolish or delusional to think like that. I'm the Bastard from the Barrel. And I care about my crows, because they are good investments. Nothing more and nothing less, Y/L/N."

"Is this everything that we are? What am I to you? An investment?"

Kaz's mouth went dry as he felt the waters rising around him, when a familiar feeling of panic began to seep through his practised mask. He looked away, not wanting you to read his true emotions. Not wanting you to see how much he wanted to confess his true feelings to you.

No. You're my moon, my sun that illuminates me in my darkness. The reason why I'm even bothering to learn how to touch people without going under the water again. You give me hope and peace every time you're close to me. You're my greatest power and weakness. The only one in this bloody world who can change my plans. The only one I care about in the mornings, afternoons, nights, and midnights. I can't drink, eat, think, sleep, or work without thinking about you. You have the power over me. And that's terrified me.

He desperately wanted to give in to his desire.

But he couldn't.

He was too bruised and broken for you.

"Then I have my answer, Mr. Brekker." you broke the long, tense silence between you two. Kaz was too terrified to shift his gaze from the papers on his desk to the only woman who could easily crack the wall around his cold, almost dead heart with one of your smiles towards him. Too afraid to watch the tender expression on your face turn into a cold detachment, just like your tone of voice. "Sorry for taking up your precious time, boss. But I would rather be the foolish girl who falls in love too easily for her own good than a powerful man who doesn't want to feel anything. Nobody will sit around the table and tell a story about a man who loves only his kruge. No matter how great he was." your disappointed whisper lingered in his office long after you left.

He sat dazed in his chair until the candle stub burned out completely, leaving him alone in the darkness of his office. He stood up, lit a new candle, and watched the flame. He couldn't focus on anything other than replaying your conversation.

Rietveld's voice echoed in Brekker's head, somehow getting through his wall, mocking powerful Dirtyhands.

Coward.

And every breath that I’ve been taking since you left feels like a waste on me

"No way!" Jesper's loudspeaker scream snapped Kaz out of his thoughts. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, and got up from the desk.

He has done nothing since that fateful conversation. Absolutely nothing. He limited himself to staring blankly at the wall as his thoughts of Y/N effectively took complete control of him. He needed a distraction. Jesper's screams outside his office were perfect.

Without his cane, he walked to the door, eavesdropping on what was going on outside his office.

"Find another idiot to tell him. Or better yet, grab some suicide guy from the roof. If he wants to die anyway, he might as well act as a messenger for their one last time before Kaz rips their head off. SHIT!" the sharpshooter screamed in panic, nearly losing his balance as the door he was partially leaning against was opened by his rather worried boss. "Kaz, the fuck, since when are you sneaking around like that?!"

"Why exactly would I want to have ripped someone's heads off, Jesper?" he ignored his comment, eager to find out what they were hiding from him as soon as possible.

Maybe that would effectively occupy his head, so he could stop thinking about the tidemaker for a while. Unfortunately, neither of the two were in a hurry to answer his question.

"You know, there's always an occasion. Theft, insult, threat, frown, bad day, wedding, christening…" Jesper shut up, seeing that his attempts at a joke only infuriated an already irritated Kaz.

"Y/N is gone." Kaz unconsciously held his breath, feeling the whole world freeze around him for a moment, until anger and panic took hold of him.

"What? Did someone kidnap her? How did you look after her?!" he growled furiously, walking back to the office and limping towards his cane. His crows followed hesitantly, watching him struggle as he tried to put on his cloak in his haste.

"She runaway. I lost track of her around the harbour." a new revelation made Kaz freeze again. He stared blankly into the space between Jesper and Inej, turning his cane's crow head in his hand.

He should have anticipated that too. Had a backup plan. But he didn't. He's been acting strangely lately. He didn't recognize himself. But after all, that was what he had wanted all along - to stay away from Y/N. So why had her disappearance made him feel so much worse?

"Kaz? Should we send some people to…"

"No need, Inej. Go back to work. You too, Jesper." the gambler looked like he wanted to argue with him, but the Wraith, seeing their friend's strange behavior, grabbed his hand, and they obediently walked away from their boss.

Kaz leaned against the desk, dullly staring at the closed door.

It was supposed to be better that way. Neither you nor he will ever meet again. You won't exchange those longing glances again. You won't act like a couple of teenagers in love, and no one will ever attack or harm you to get to him again or to threaten him. Nobody was going to get hurt.

So why did he feel like he was going back under the water?

I’ve been holding on to hope That you’ll come back when you can find some peace Cause every word that I’ve heard spoken since you left feels like an hollow street

One week, two days, 10 hours, 34 minutes and 29 seconds. That's how long it's been since he last saw your face.

He was secretly hoping you'd come back to him and the crows. Fuck the crows, he just wanted you to walk through that damned door again and start arguing with him, shouting at him, cursing his name at all the saints you knew, so he could hear your voice again.

He missed you. More than he thought he would.

Irritatingly, everything around him reminded him of you.

Especially your empty seat during Crow's meetings. No one dared to occupy it, as if every one of the gathered was waiting for you to come through that door (or window) again with a malicious, characteristic smirk on your face, mumbling some insincere apology for being late.

It never happened. Though Inej prayed to her saints every day for your return. Just like the others. Although each of them experienced your departure differently. Jes stared often at the places you once occupied, imagining you were still there. Nina found herself often making too many waffles (of course, accidentally making exactly the few you were used to eating). Wylan often creates his bombs and other things in your favourite colours.

But Kaz probably took your absence the worst of them all.

If he had slept little before, fearing that nightmares about Jordie would haunt him, now he hardly slept at all. Because every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face. He heard your laugh. He smelled your perfume. He felt cursed. Cursed by you the moment your eyes looked at him full of sadness, anger, and disappointment... full of pain.

He thought that if you disappeared from his sight, he would forget about you and go back to normal. But your leaving only made him think of you more often and longer. He sat behind his desk for hours, staring blankly at the papers in front of him. Spread out plans, bills, and maps; it all stopped making sense to him. It stopped coming together, creating a perfect plan in his head.

All he could think about was you.

And Rietveld's voice, instead of being silenced and buried alive in his cold heart with your disappearance, only broke through his hard surface more and more often with the passing days without you by his side. And he wasn't holding back from taunting Dirtyhands at all.

The great Kaz Brekker fell victim to one of his own plans.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

Even Ketterdam has felt your absence.

This time of year, it usually warms up enough for people to shed their heavy winter coats. However, it was the middle of spring, and a cool, icy wind still blew through the streets, bringing occasional, small snowfalls that melted on the street, creating mud.

Kaz had never despised the city he lived in more. Even it laughed in his face at his stupidity, reminding him that it was his fault that the only spark of joy and bewitchingness in this damned city had gone.

He shuddered as a child shoved past him, running happily to the ship that had come into harbour and thrown itself into its father's waiting arms. Brekker began to take rapid, panicked breaths. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of one of the buildings, trying to imagine something other than Jordie.

His haphephobia got worse.

Earlier, he could bear the fleeting touch of strangers, such as being brushed up against him in a crowd. It was no problem for him to touch his crows for a few minutes (especially you and your comfortable hugs, holding your hand, or just feeling your warm skin under his bare fingertips).

But now even the slightest contact with a stranger brought him immediately under the water. And the tiny touch from his crows raised the waves he had to calm in the privacy of his office.

He was rolling down. He knew it well. But he saw it as his personal punishment for hurting your feelings in a brutal way instead of gently cutting you off. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much.

Kaz knew he was fooling himself. He would suffer anyway. He let you go too deep under his skin, penetrate his essence, and know his soul too well to just give up on you, and forget about you.

And what terrified him most was that, given the choice, he would let you in again. Even knowing he would be devastated after letting you go.

But it was better for you. You deserved something better than this life you would live with him.

And that one thought kept him sane. That he did it for your own good, that wherever you are now, he's sure you're better off than you were in Ketterdam.

Which didn't stop him from checking every ship that came into port in the sick hope of seeing your angelic face.

He just had to get over his grief. He did the same with Jordie.

The only difference was that he didn't dream of holding his brother back in his arms like he dreamed of you.

Maybe I, maybe I’m just being blinded By the brighter side Of what we had because it’s over Well there must be something in the tide

Kaz was on your bed, reading one of your books you accidentally left behind. It was all he could do lately. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd left that room for anything other than food and a change of clothes. He missed you. And he had no idea what he should do.

He inhaled your faint scent on the pillows.

In some strange way (probably because of your ability to control the water), you always smelled of the sea, even when you weren't near the harbour. Kaz hated water and hated the salty sea smell that hit him whenever he passed near the harbour. It reminded him of Jordie. But inexplicably, the smell of the sea on you brought him comfort, safety... peace.

Now it was a reminder of something else—how he let you slip through his fingers. In fact, he pushed you away from himself.

He shook his head, trying not to think about you. However, the world was always against him and never made things easy for him. The fact that the dried flower had fallen out of the book onto his chest was proof of that.

With trembling hands, he set the book aside and reached for the flower, afraid he would ruin it. However, the need to see if his eyes were deceiving him was greater than the fear of spoiling such a precious thing.

He remembered that flower. He put it in your hair himself.

"Just the two of us in a field of flowers? If I didn't know you better, I'd think it was a date, boss." he rolled his eyes as you giggled at his reaction.

"Stop it. Or they'll notice us." he muttered, trying to ignore the cool wind that somehow made its way through the high grass. He wrapped his cloak around him, enviously noting that the girl next to him didn't seem to feel that cold. He internally slapped himself for wanting to share his cloak with her.

"I highly doubt they'd want to look for us in that thicket of grass. Besides, usually when a woman is giggling at a place and situation like this, stealing some noblewoman's jewels is the last thing on her mind, Kaz. The same applies to her potential partner."

"As if I heard Jesper." he sighed, focusing on the nobles in front of them. The plan was for Jesper to distract them while he and Y/N collected what they had come for. Simple and fast, if his childish desire to be paired with Y/N did not overwhelm his senses. She distracted him more than he could afford.

"You and Jes also had a secret meeting among the wildflowers? Now, I'm jealous."

"Jes?" he asked, turning his surprised gaze on her.

"Yes, do you mind?"

"You've known him for a week." he remarked dryly.

"Yes, and what?"

"It took you two months to start calling me by my first name, let alone a nickname."

"Just because you preferred to call me tidemaker instead of using my name."

"To be honest, it might have slipped my mind then." he muttered under his breath, not realising she heard him.

"You forgot my fucking name?! Kaz Brekker you are the most ignorant person I've ever seen." Kaz knew from the anger in her eyes that only his haphephobia kept him from getting his ass kicked by Y/N.

"Well, now I remember." he tried to defend himself.

"I don't care, Brekker. Now you can even call me the fucking Easter Bunny and I won't answer you anyway."

"Don't be a child, Y/N. Y/N?" Kaz sighed in frustration when he got no response from you.

He had to come up with something; he knew this name thing wouldn't be resolved until he appeased you properly. And he didn't have time to indulge in your sulks. You had to rob these people. (It's not like his heart ached when you were mad at him.)

Fortunately, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that might help him. Your favourite flower, growing at his fingertips. He plucked a plant and put it behind your ear without thinking. You flinched at the sudden touch, staring at him in shock as the material of his gloves brushed your cheek as he pulled his hand away.

"Maybe I forgot your name then, but now I remember and know a lot more about you than just a stupid name."

"But how… how do you know I like y/f/f?" you asked in shock, never in your wildest dreams imagining that Kaz Brekker would bother with something like your favorite flower.

"You are my tidemaker. My most important investment. It's logical that I'll know you inside out."

"Should I be afraid or appreciate this unsettling but sweet effort?"

"You should know by now that nothing I do is sweet."

"Of course, big, terrible, Dirtyhands." you replied with a small smirk, similar to the one that kept Kaz from your sight.

To her, he could be more than Kaz Brekker. He could be Kaz Rietveld. And it terrified him more than the urge to reach out his hand again and fix her windblown hair.

The mastermind has been deceived by his own heart.

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind Oh my Lord, oh my Lord, I need you by my side

"Zenik. Follow me." he muttered as he finally found the woman at the bar. He headed for his office without looking back, knowing full well that she would do as she was told this time.

"Yes, Kaz?"

"You are contacting Y/N." it wasn't a question. He knew it the moment Nina sent you her first letter a month ago.

He himself tried to send you his letter a week ago. It came back unopened, and the delivery man said no such person lives at this address. A lie he recognised without even knowing that Nina and you were still writing to each other.

"I am." she replied coolly. Kaz, seeing that he did not want to voluntarily cooperate, sighed and sat down in his chair. His leg was starting to hurt more and more often - another thing that went bad with you leaving.

"How is she?"

"Happy. Relatively. She is tormented by nightmares and unwanted thoughts about you." if Nina wanted to make him feel guilty, she did it brilliantly.

He already felt terrible without her judging eyes and dry answers. She must have seen the shadows under his eyes, as he did in his mirror. He had no right to pity himself. He knew it well. That's why he put up with Nina's attitude, in his stupid desire to know how you were doing.

"So… is she better off than here?"

"No. But that's not your problem anymore."

"Did she find someone?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of an affirmative answer.

"Possibly, things are evolving."

Kaz felt the world stop around him for a moment. The idea of someone else watching how you play with water and create ice sculptures, someone listening to your beautiful voice and making you laugh, someone capable of holding you and kissing you, made him sick. A sick sense of jealousy that Kaz only experienced when he saw the wealth of others.

A rash desire to come for you overtook him. He had to have you back. Before you fall in love with someone other than him.

"Do you think if we…"

"No, Kaz." Nina cut him off before he could ask a question. "You wanted to get rid of her, so hold on to your fucking decision. You hurt her, and you knew damn well you would, by ordering her to return to Ravka. Honestly, Kaz, did you think about how it would impact her? How she would feel? If you wanna break her heart again, go on. Chase her. Let's see if she forgives you also this time."

"Then what should I do?" he asked, and the desperation and hopelessness of his tone terrified both him and the woman standing in front of his desk. Nobody had ever seen him like this. Even you. And now he was ready to open up to anyone just to have you by his side again.

"Forget about her. After all, that's what you wanted, right?" he did not answer.

She was right. He wanted to get rid of you. Now he was paying the price, and he had no right to ask you to ease his pain and return to the Kettedram. Return to him. Which doesn't mean that his stupid heart will just let him forget about you. He's learned that over the months without you. And he cursed all the saints that he didn't know it until he gave you the cold shoulder.

Kaz no longer had the right to your affection. He had to accept it. He had to accept that he had given up his chance to love you. That now you had every right to go and love someone else. Even if the very idea drove him crazy and desperate.

He must have forgotten about you. For the sake of all of you.

But Nina's slamming of his office door only brought him back to his memories of you.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

Kaz fell. He was in the most pathetic position.

He didn't care, though, as he sat like a fool on the shore of the same lake where he met you. At which he irreversibly gave you the remnants of his heart a few years ago, without even knowing it.

He told himself that Nina was right. Once he let you go, he had to persevere in that resolve. Ketterdam will only bring you pain... so why was it so hard for him to let go of his last ties to you?

"Why are you coming here with me?" your gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he stared spellbound at your little water show.

"Am I bothering you?" he asked, shifting in his place on the dock as he watched you float in the lake.

He wouldn't even dip his little toe in himself, but he liked to silently watch you become one with what was dear to you. And by the way, he could admire your skills and beauty as much as he wanted. He didn't have to look for any particular excuse.

"No. It's just that I've never seen you watch your other crows train."

"They're not like you." it slipped out before he could think about it. "If anyone sees you, I better get them before they announce to the world that one of the Black General's tidemakers has taken refuge with me." your smirk dropped at the mere mention of your former life. Kaz cursed in his mind. "You are also too valuable an investment. And the rest of the crows liked you. It's a big achievement. Inej doesn't let new people in so easily... me too."

"So you like me after all, boss?" you asked with that mischievous smirk on your lips that made his heart beat like crazy. Good thing water was your specialty. At least you didn't hear his heart pounding.

"You're tolerable company, and what you can do… what you can do is amazing."

"It's just little tricks." you murmured, forming different shapes out of the water. "At the king's parties, I was quite often one of the highlights." you waved your hand, freezing the water to form an ice statue. His statue. "Not every tidemaker is strong enough to freeze water." with another wave of your hand, to his silent displeasure, you melted the ice. "Not to mention turning ice into water again. Most just stop at its liquid form and don't train any more. I like to think I'm too curious to ever stop exploring my powers."

"Or stubborn." he said with a small smirk, listening to your wonderful laugh.

He must have been cursed from the start, since fate had put someone so perfect in his path... someone he could never have. But he could have been watching you. Enjoy his eyes with your beauty and his ears with the tone of your voice.

"Sometimes that's a good trait too. You taught me that yourself."

"How convenient for you to learn from me only what you want and not what you need."

"Sometimes what we want is more important than what we need and what is more rational for us."

"What for example?"

"Love." he tried to keep a poker face, but apparently his eyes betrayed more than he would have liked, as you gave him a confused, questioning look. "What? You've never been in love?"

NO. Not until he looked into your eyes and heard you laugh. Not until he got into your first argument with you and lost with a smile on his face. Not until he first saw you use your powers to outsmart the bandits who attacked you. Not until he saw how the moonlight in Ketterdam made your eyes shine even more than usual, so that you might as well have lit up all of the city with your beauty. Not until he first heard his name come out of your mouth. No, until he foolishly began to believe in Inej's saints, when he saw how tenderly and kindly you treat the orphans in the streets of Ketterdam.

"This silence means either a very powerful heartbreak, or you really only love a kruge."

"What if I really never loved anyone? What if I don't believe in love?" he whispered, looking up at you. You sneaked up to him so that you were standing in front of him. Water trickled down your hair and along your neck to the hand you held out to him. You opened your hand, handing him a small shell.

"The world is too cruel for such beliefs, Kaz. If we don't believe in love, why should we get out of bed at all? Why do we accumulate all these riches and try to survive each day?" Kaz didn't know the answer. Not one that would allow him to avoid the uncomfortable subject of his feelings for you.

He took the shell from you and, being careful not to break it, put it in his pouch. Along with the other little things you fished out of the water.

Your eyes met. You stared into the other's eyes for a moment, lost in your own dreams, which were not too different from each other... Yet neither of you had the courage to admit them out loud and risk everything you had been so carefully building between yourselves. Even if your hearts burned for more.

So he sat with you in silence, watching you play with the water and analysing what you told him. What was the reason for his existence?

Kaz from a year ago would have answered quickly and without thinking. Revenge. But now that he was looking at you, he wasn't so sure about his answer… or at least it was closer to something much different than his desire for revenge.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It's your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in And I'm tired of being so exhausted

He sat behind his desk, involuntarily reminiscing about the day it all began.

The day he almost lost you. The day you almost died in his arms. The day you told him something he secretly wanted to hear but wasn't prepared for. The day he will curse forever.

This was your first assignment after returning from Ravka and the whole sun summoner thing. A childish, simple burglary. Something to warm up his crows—a return to the reality of Ketterdam without queens and kings and politics.

And so it was. You filled your pockets with valuables and were about to leave when one of the guards spotted you. They were much better armed than you (it was supposed to be a simple robbery with no witnesses and no blood spilled, so you only had daggers and knives "just in case") and strangely familiar with all the secret passages in the small mansion.

Even though you found yourself in a terrible situation, you managed to leave the property. You laid out in the finish as you and Kaz ran towards the club. One of the guards shot at you and hit you. Very accurate, almost piercing your heart with a bullet.

Kaz stared dazedly as you screamed in pain as you clutched your chest and tumbled onto the muddy, cobbled road. He reacted faster than he thought, throwing the dagger at the man who shot you and killing him instantly. Inej would have praised him for such a throw.

But that effective kill didn't matter to him now. He ran over to you in a panic and kneeled beside you, tugging at the fabric of your shirt. He hissed as he saw the blood pouring down your skin.

"Kaz..." you groaned, looking at him terrified. Kaz ripped off a piece of his shirt and wrapped it tightly around your waist, trying to stop the gushing blood. "Cold." you mumbled, shivering in his arms. Brekker didn't even notice as he placed you in his lap; he was too busy to stop the bleeding until he found bloody Zenik. Where was she when he really fucking needed her?

"Shhh…. I know. Just try to hold on a little longer, okay? Nina and Jes will be here soon." he tried to calm you down by running his hand through your sweat-soaked hair. He rocked you back and forth, not knowing who he was trying to reassure—you or himself.

"We both know they won't make it on time."

"If you're wasting your energy talking, at least say something useful instead of talking nonsense, tidemaker." he growled at you, tightening his grip on you. "You're not getting away from me that fast. I didn't invest so much in you to make you leave before…" Until I tell you how much you mean to me... "Until we fill our vault with tonnes of Kruge."

"I could have predicted that even on my deathbed you'd be talking about the fucking Kruges." you laughed, coughing up some blood, which didn't calm his already madly beating heart. Where is that damn Zenik?

"Die in my arms and I promise I'll go back to hell for you. The devil can wait for you - I signed a pact with you first." you suddenly became serious, squeezing his gloved hand tighter and staring into his eyes as if they were the only stars in your dark sky.

"Kaz… I… I have to tell you…"

"Shut up, Y/L/N. You're not dying today." he snarled a warning, squeezing you so hard that he was sure to leave bruises on your arms. Panic rose in him as he felt your body slowly go limp, your breaths becoming less and less frequent.

"Kaz… I love you." you whispered, making him freeze in a daze. You only said those words in his wildest dreams. He had secretly dreamed of it many times, but certainly not like this. Not while your soul was slowly escaping from this cruel world unworthy of you.

He doesn't remember exactly when Nina came running, or how Jesper took you out of his arms, or how he kept up with Jesper's frantic pace as he ran with you in his arms.

But he surely was shaking all the way to the Crow Club. He only breathed a few hours after Nina announced to everyone that you would live. Then he left, without even entering your room to make sure Zenik's words were true, and locked himself in his office.

Tears began to fall from his eyes as he leaned against the door.

He could have lost you. Forever. Another person close to him.

His dreams would be tormented by the sight of your bloody corpse in some dirty alley. Again, he felt like that helpless little boy who had lost his brother. He found himself with Jordie THERE again.

Kaz couldn't go through all of it again. He wouldn't get up after your death. And there was only one thing he could do...

Fuck it all.

He needed you.

He was too exhausted to pretend any longer.

He was Kaz Brekker. He didn't need a reason. But his slowly dying heart without you seemed to be enough of an excuse to see you. Even if you're going to completely break it. Even the cold Bastard from the Barrel saw it as a good deal.

"JESPER!" he shouted, jumping out of his chair with his cane in hand.

"Yes?" his friend was at his side faster than ever.

"Tell the others to pack up. We're leaving in an hour." he muttered, taking out his travel bag from the wardrobe. Even without turning around, he knew a big smile had formed on Jesper's face.

We're going to get my girl back.

"About the damn time, Kaz." he patted him on the back and ran out of his office, telling the other crows the good news.

Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Even though I'm nothing to you now Even though I'm nothing to you now

Kaz had been afraid of a few things in his life, but walking through the threshold of your new apartment seemed to be the most terrible of all his fears.

His crows obeyed him without objection for the first time in their lives and stayed at the hotel. He came here. On trembling legs and a rapidly beating heart. With his soul on his shoulder, ready to sacrifice and do anything to get you back. And if you didn't change your mind, it would be with a mind ready to carve your image into his memory so he could enjoy seeing you one last time in his miserable life.

Before he could change his mind, he knocked on the door.

He waited patiently, hearing footsteps approaching. He held his breath as the key turned in the lock.

But you weren't the one who opened the door for him.

"What?" a well-built, dark-haired man stood in the doorway.

Kaz began to compare himself to him, concluding that, when it came to appearance, he was superior to him in everything. He didn't stand a chance against someone like that for your heart. Doubts began to flood back into him. What if Nina was right?

"Are you going to stand here for half a day or..."

"Jackson!" your voice from the depths of the apartment shook Kaz. It froze him completely, irritating the man in front of him even more. "I need your help here, you big fool. What are you doing?" a moment later, you were standing in the vestibule. Your eyes met. Kaz shivered under your gaze, cursing himself for how quickly he fell under your spell as he stood there completely dazed.

"Y/N." your name came out of his mouth reverently, like a prayer, like a song long forgotten by a wanderer. You looked exactly the same as you did a few months ago. Except for the faint shadows under his eyes, which Kaz considered his greatest enemies.

"Kaz."

"Jackson. Hello there." the man waved at him, stepping between you. Jackson looked at you, worried. Kaz felt both anger welling up in him, a feeling of envy at how close you were with this strange guy, but also relief that you had someone close to take care of you. Not that you couldn't overcome the worst hell alone. He just felt relieved that you didn't have to. "Let him in, or should I kick his ass, wave?"

Wave? Did you two have nicknames for each other?

"It's all right. You can leave us." you said as you walked past him to face Kaz. The man behind you sighed, shaking his head.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

It might as well have been directed at Kaz. For the first time in his whole new Dirtyhands' life, he didn't have a plan, an emergency exit, or another backup plan. But now he was standing in front of you, staring at you helplessly as he absorbed your form. And that damn sea smell in your hair...

"Kaz."

"Y/N." he said as he came back down to earth. He took a small, calming breath. "How are you?"

"Really? Are you here just to ask how I'm doing?" she asked incredulously, folding her arms.

Kaz wrinkled his nose at your dry, angry tone. As he could see, it would be even more difficult than he thought. He stood in front of you, twirling his cane nervously in his hands.

"I'm here for a completely different reason, but I couldn't… I couldn't not come and see you." he admitted turning his gaze back to you after lowering his head in embarrassment.

"I'm alright. My brother and I are having a great time."

"Brother?" he asked. Relief and joy washed over him. Nor could he help himself to this naive hope, which began to warm his cold heart.

"Yes... Jackson. Who did you think he was?" he did not answer. You could have guessed. He knew you saw the flicker of jealousy in his eyes after that strange man called you a wave. You were his tidemaker, his wave, his sea, and all the fucking things. For a moment, he forgot that he was the one who had deprived himself of the right to claim against you. "You saw me, you asked how I was, so you can go now. Goodbye, Kaz." you were about to close the door on him, but at the last moment he put his cane between them, preventing you from doing so. You opened your door again, giving him a questioning look.

"Come back with me." he whispered, defeated. He couldn't let you go. Not again, not after there was still the slightest chance you might still want him.

"What?" you whispered softly, pretty sure you misheard him.

"There's no other reason why I'm here... I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't think or function like a normal person without you next to me. I'm one step away from daydreaming about you, hallucinating, and being insane that you're still by my side, so please... I'm begging you to come back to me. I know I don't deserve you and that I hurt you. You have every right to kick me out, but please, Y/N, just come home."

"What exactly am I supposed to come back to, Kaz? A cold, surly boss who is afraid of his feelings? Who doesn't hesitate to hurt me to protect his heart?"

"I'm not... I'm not good at this. Feelings. I... I don't know what it's like to love, but I know that when I'm with you... when I'm with you, nothing else matters. Not Ketterdam, not power, not Kruge, not wealth, not profit—nothing has ever been on my pedestal. Only you. Always you. And maybe I'm terrified of it, but now I know that I'd rather fight my own demons for you than let you go. I will try my best. If you still want me." he stared at you with undisguised hope in his eyes, only now realising how close he had come to you during your conversation. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek uncertainly. "I love you, Y/N... even if I'm nothing to you now." he murmured, risking everything and resting his forehead against yours with a sigh.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

He inhaled your scent with his eyes closed, waiting for your move. Hope grew with him every second you continued to let him be so close to you.

"You're an idiot, Kaz Brekker." he didn't contradict or argue with you. He was a complete idiot, pushing you away and begging you to come back, all the while acting like a love-crazy fool… however, he wouldn't have it any other way if it meant you taking your place in his office again. If someday he could hold you in his arms… "You have lucky you're my idiot. With all of your bruises, scars, and everything else." you promised, hugging him tighter. You pulled away from him with serious eyes, making Kaz swallow. "But if you do that shit again, forget I'm coming back to you. Also, we need to seriously work on your communication, Brekker. Do you know how long I've had to struggle here with that other idiot who claims to be my brother?"

"I can hear all of it!" you sighed at your brother's grumbling and gave Kaz a meaningful look. Brekker smiled slightly, causing a matching goofy smirk to appear on your face.

"See? But seriously, I'm not kidding. Last chance, Kaz."

"A deal is a deal. You're never going anywhere without me again."

"A red flag!" your brother coughed from the kitchen. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the edge of Kaz's coat sleeve.

"Shut up, Jackson. I'm leaving, I'll be back in an hour! Try not to burn down the apartment, spitfire."

You didn't wait for his answer as you slammed the door behind you and stepped out with Kaz into the street. Brekker led you towards the hotel where the other crows were staying. His hand in yours, which did not escape your notice. You turned your head towards him, giving him a confused look, which made him smile slightly, shifting his gaze to the port and the sea.

At one point, he noticed that one of the waves "attacked" a trader, washing him over. He cursed so loudly that you could hear him even from this distance. Kaz shifted his gaze to you, immediately noticing the sly smirk on your face. Suddenly, the wallet fell from the sky right into your waiting hand, along with droplets of salty, cool water.

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. A self-satisfied smirk formed on his face after seeing your blush.

One day, he will be able to touch you without his gloves. Hold in your arms without layers of clothes on. He will do it. No matter how long it takes him to get rid of the greatest demon of his past. But something told him that you'd keep his head from going under the water again. His queen of waves. His crow. His anchor. And he will make sure that he holds you in his arms forever. 

[aphroditeinthesea]

“ guilty as sin ii ”

jason grace x fem!reader

part two of guilty as sin | pt. 1

a/n the vote was split, so there’s no intense smut but insinuation and make out (overly descriptive bc i didnt want it to be just smutty)

. ݁₊ ⚡︎ . ݁ ⁺₊

Death seemed like a nice concept that night. Everything that had happened seemed like too much. Either Piper was going to kill her or Jason and Piper make up and kill her together. Which was worse? She laid awake in bed that night fantasizing about throwing herself to the wolves or the ocean rocks. These were different from her regular fatal fantasies of Jason, the ones that left her feeling as though her bed sheets were ablaze and all she wanted to do was scream his name. She bit her lip as she looked around the cabin at her sleeping siblings. She was absolutely envious of the peace they all felt.

She never could’ve imagined that Jason felt the same towards her. She started wondering the options, if she did go for him, would she be bad? If she didn't, would she be mad? Or wise? Not wise. She decided she could never be wise. Someone wise wouldn't have let this go one for so long. Someone wise wouldn't be thinking about guys during everything going on. There were so many things to worry about, and instead, she was worrying about a love affair.

She felt her stomach turn and decided to stand up. She walked into the bathroom just to check her hair. It was frizzy from her pillow, so she urgently tried to brush it down, but in a panic, threw down her brush. Unfortunately for her, she did so too aggressively, causing it to slip off and into the toilet.

“Oh my gods,” she whispered, she looked up to the ceiling, “good one, Aphrodite.” She huffed, deciding to leave it there. She slowly walked out of the bathroom, to the cabin door. She took a deep breath as she left her cabin. She tried to be quick, so no one saw her.

She reached cabin one, knocking on the door. There was a shuffle of noise inside before the son of Jupiter opened the door for her. There he stood, wearing nothing but blue pajama pants that were low enough to sow the band of his boxers. She swore that her heart stopped at the sight.

“Y/N,” he spoke, his voice cracking, “I was just thinking about you.”

She walked in. She swallowed before breathing out questioningly, “Piper?”

He shut the door behind her. He bit his lip just next to his scar, “I broke up with her,” he led her over to his bed to sit with him, “she took it well. She told me that she could feel that I was in love with someone else, she just didn't want to believe it.”

“Did you tell her that it was because of me?”

“She knew before I even had a chance to tell her.”

“I feel awful,” she frowned as she thought of how she must have one of her best friends to feel so low.

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine,” he responded, “I shouldn't have kissed you. I couldn't live with that guilt if I had stayed with her.”

“I shouldn't have thrown that all at you like that,” she admitted, “Annabeth was right.”

“What did Annabeth say?”

She sighed, “that I shouldn't go after you because of Piper. But you have no idea how you’ve haunted me so stunningly.”

“The feelings would’ve killed one of us.”

She chuckled, “what a way to die.”

He smiled, lightly resting a hand on her back. She looked up at him, cupping the smooth skin of his face with her hands, she hesitated before pressing her lips against his. His muscular arms wrapped around her to pull her onto his lap to straddle him. His hands wandered to grip onto the bottom of her.

“Jason,” she hummed as she let her hands move down to now be feeling his abdomen.

He smiled into the kiss before his tongue carved its way into her mouth. He leaned back, letting her hover him. Their kisses got sloppier as they both grew impatient. The way his lips felt was so different from her dreams and fantasies of him. His lips weren’t as soft as she imagined, they were chapped but she couldn't even pay attention to that as they were slowly pulling at her own. His calloused fingers trailed up her shirt, drawing circles on her back.

Her body tensed as she felt an electric shock course through her.

He froze, quickly pulling his hand away, “I’m sorry, my gods, are you okay?”

She nodded, “I’m fine,” she leaned back into him, “do that again.”

“What?”

“Do it again,” she mumbled against his lips.

His hand traced her stomach, he locked his eyes with hers waiting for a signal. When she nodded, he took a deep breath before gently shocking her again.

She let out a soft groan, “oh my gods.”

He worriedly looked up at her, “was that okay?”

She brushed her lips against his, “yeah, thanks.”

He smirked, “thanks?”

She laughed, bringing her hands to brush along his cheekbones, “you know what I mean.” She rolled off of him, she awkwardly scooted to now be leaning on the headboard of his bed.

He smiled at her before crawling up to be in front of her. He connected their lips once again, her body now pressed against his pillows, which cushioned her as he pinned her further into his mattress.

His lips suddenly stopped moving. He opened his eyes just to look at her and really examine every inch of her face.

“What?”

“Sorry,” he whispered, “you're just beautiful.”

She felt blood rush to her cheeks, “thank you.”

He wetly kissed her jaw, “it’s true.”

“Hm,” she grinned as she began to thread her fingers through his hair, “you're not too bad either, Grace.”

He nibbled at the skin of her neck, carefully marking her up, blowing on the skin after leaving his mark. She knew in the morning she would be playing with her concealer, trying to figure out how to cover it up, but that was a problem for future her. Right now her entire world revolved around the boy who was on top of her.

He reached her chest with his lips. His blue eyes looked up at her like a doe, “is this okay?” he asked as he held onto the edge of her shirt.

“Yes, Jason,” she replied, moving up her arms so he could easily peel it off of her. He slowly did so, making sure she was comfortable the whole time. He threw the shirt onto the floor before turning his attention back to Y/N. Her breath hitched at the cool air of the cabin, but was too distracted by the body heat radiating off of Jason to care.

He continued to softly kiss down her chest and stomach. He began to carefully pull down her pajama pants. “Y/N?”

She looked down at him, “yeah, Jase?”

“You're okay, right?”

She insistently nodded, “of course,” she desperately wanted to follow up with please, please, please touch me, but that seemed a little embarrassing, so she restrained herself.

He hesitated to speak again, “I’ve never done this before,” he admitted, “so I don't really know what I’m doing.”

She giggled, “that’s okay, Jason,” she responded, “me neither.”

She felt hair tickling her jaw and arms around her. She turned to see the blond holding tightly onto her as he slept soundly. She grinned, gently brushing her fingers along his bicep.

He looked up, opening his eyes, “good morning,” he smiled. He pressed a kiss to her jaw, his hand felt down her body that was covered by one of his t-shirts, “how are you feeling?”

She moved around to now be facing him, “I’m amazing, what about you?”

“I”m good,” he kissed her lips, a feeling that she could never get enough of, “I just wanted to make sure that you're not in pain or anything.”

“I’m okay,” she held onto his jaw, “I promise.”

He nodded, “I believe you, Y/N.”

She realized then that everything she had been feeling was finally fresh out the slammer.

—

corny ending, sorry

[carlsdarling]

How to save a cat Part III

The relationship between Carl and Y/N evolves, and not everyone appreciates that… Everyone is 18 or over.

WARNINGS: smut, nsfw, angst, violence

Over the next few weeks, Garfield recovered. And it was inevitable: The relationship between you and Carl evolved rapidly. You only met secretly, either at secluded places in Alexandria, or Carl climbed on the roof under your window at night, woke you up by tapping softly on the window, and then you sat together on the roof for hours, holding hands, making out a bit and looking at the stars. Most of the time, though, you just talked. But there was always the danger of being seen and caught.

One night the mood between you was very sexy, and it ended with you having your hands in Carl's pants and stroking him, Carl bucking his hips, moaning softly, and caressing your boobs. "Do you mind if I cum on your hand, baby?" whispered Carl, breathless with arousal.

"No," you kissed him softly on the lips as he also began to spill his cum all over your hand, whimpering. With hearts beating wildly, you held each other. You didn't have anything with you to clean yourselves up.

Carl looked at you. "Y/N?" You raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to maybe... sleep with me?" he asked shyly.

"Now?" you responded in shock. It wasn't very comfortable on the roof - especially for someone who was inexperienced - and the night breeze quite chilly, and there was no way you could take Carl to your room. Your parents could notice it. But you also desired it - Carl's caresses excited you incredibly, besides, you were head over heels in love with him. You wanted to be as close to Carl as possible.

"No," he said hurriedly, laughing nervously, "Of course not right now. I meant sometime, soon." He cracked his knuckles and glanced at you uncertainly.

"Yes," you replied simply and kissed him. "I want to make love to you, too, Carl."

He beamed happily at you. "Okay. I'll take care of condoms." A little later he said goodbye and climbed down the tree in front of your house, walking home elated. Neither of you suspected that he was being watched from a downstairs window.

                                                 ***

The next morning, Carl was on his way to his guard duty. He had slept too long and was already running late, hurrying down the streets of Alexandria. Guilelessly, he rounded a corner when someone unexpectedly grabbed him by the upper left arm, brutally punched him in the stomach twice, ripped off his bandage and threw it in the dirt, then twisted his arm. Tears welled up in Carl's eyes, he couldn't even scream, the pain in his stomach was so intense. "You stay away from my daughter, Carl," your father hissed hatefully in Carl's ear. "Y/N is way too good for you, you're not worthy of her, just look at you," he said with a sneer. "The sight of you is an inconvenience. Your scar is hideous. No wonder you always cover it up. It would have been better if you had died from that shot. I won't let my daughter ever be seen with someone like you, understand? You look like some creature from Wrong Turn, who could ever love you?" he taunted Carl before pushing him to the ground, sneering at him and sauntering off as if nothing had happened. Carl lay curled up on the ground holding his stomach, tears streaming down his face.

No one had ever spoken so viciously about his injury; not even Negan. The latter had made fun of it and marveled at the empty eye socket, but then conceded that it had just been a joke and Carl had no reason to be ashamed of the scar. But this was different. Carl was aware that he might have been the first to look behind the governor's smooth facade and realize what lurked behind it: an abysmally evil and empathy-less man. Robert Andrews, the governor, was dangerous, and Carl was very afraid for you.

After a while, Carl managed to get to his feet and made his way to your house with a bad feeling.

There, hidden behind a wall, he spotted your father who was chopping down the tree in front of the house. Carl knew there was nothing he could do right now; reluctantly he went home, with his stomach ache and sprained arm he could not do his guard duty anyway.

You were caught off guard by events just as Carl was before. You left the bathroom to go downstairs to breakfast when your father grabbed you by the hair, yanked you around and threw you against the wall. You yelled out loud as your shoulder was bruised. Before you could get up again, he kicked you several times, then grasped you by the collar and dragged you to your room. "You get to watch me cut down the tree in front of the house now," he let you know with a cold smile. "No more Carl climbing up to your window. No more sneaky dates. No more dating at all! I warned you. You're to stay away from that white trailer park trash. You stick to your room!"

He slammed the door and locked you in, and you broke down crying. Garfield lay on the bed watching you from his big amber eyes, then came to snuggle up to you. He meowed quietly. You buried your face in the cat's soft fur, sobbing desperately. But you were already so used to your father's abuse that you quickly shrugged it off. You just hoped he would leave Carl alone.

Not wanting other people to become aware of how he was treating you, your dad let you out the next day. "'See Carl Grimes again, and you'll regret it. And so will he," he threatened. "I'll find out."

That's why you were half-mad with fear when you met Carl behind the stables a few hours later. He looked pale and unhappy, and you fell into each other's arms. You noticed immediately that Carl tensed in your embrace, as if he were in pain. "Carl? What's wrong?" you asked alarmed. He held his stomach, his face contorted. "Are you hurt?"

"It's nothing," he groaned, avoiding looking you in the eyes. "It's just... yesterday I was fighting with a walker, and he grabbed me and threw me onto a trash can."

You reached for his flannel and shirt and lifted both. "Oh, God, Carl," you said in horror. A huge hematoma was visible below his ribs. "That must hurt terribly. Poor you. Come here." You stroked his back. "We have to be more careful," you whispered. "My dad, he knows. He chopped down the tree."

Carl nodded somberly. "I saw it. Do you want us to break up? I could understand," he said sadly. "I might not be good enough for you anyway, either. You're so pretty, you come from a politician's dynasty, and I'm just... maybe someone else would be better for you." He fiddled with the bandage. "You don't have to feel obligated to be with me just because I helped you with Garfield, you know."

Disgruntled, you groped for his hand. "Carl, what is this bullshit? What makes you think I don't want you anymore? I love you, you moron. And I don't want to be with anyone but you." You involved him in a kiss. "We just need to be more careful," you repeated. "Already forgotten, you get condoms," you tried to lighten the atmosphere.

Carl silently hugged you to him and stroked your head. "We'll just meet outside," he then decided. "I'll take the car out by myself, and you climb over the wall, and then I'll meet you outside Alexandria."

You nodded. "That's what we'll do."

                                                 ***

When Carl went home later, he encountered Michonne in the kitchen. Rick was apparently not home. Carl had been unable to bring himself to tell you about your father's assault on him; he didn't want to add fuel to the fire, and he was also ashamed of how helpless he had been.

It had also stirred up unpleasant memories in him, of how he had almost been raped then, of how he had been lying on the wooden soil, unable to defend himself, at the mercy of his tormentor. Most of the time Carl repressed it all, but now it was present again and tortured him. He just couldn't talk about it.

And your father's spiteful words burned inside him and made him feel bad and worthless to top it off.

Michonne immediately recognized that something was wrong with Carl. "Carl? What's the matter?" she asked cautiously, lowering the knife she had been using to slice carrots.

He hesitantly met her gaze. "Uum, it... it's just, I have a girlfriend." Michonne tilted her head in confusion. Carl's expression didn't match the happy news. "It's Y/N, the governor's daughter, and... and he doesn't want that. He's told me very clearly that I'm not what he wants, and I'm not good enough, and he doesn't want me and Y/N together, but we love each other." Carl rubbed his chin defiantly. "So we're meeting secretly, just outside of Alexandria now, but I... we plan to... soon, so, we want to have sex with each other, and I need condoms," he then blurted out, red-faced.

Michonne was trying to process all this information. Despite everything, she was glad that Carl had confided in her. "The condom thing is no problem Carl, but where are you guys going to go? Why don't you just come here and go to your room? You know you have your privacy there.“

Carl's eye widened. "No," he protested. "Y/N would never enter our house, she's far too afraid of her dad finding out!" He looked scared himself.

Michonne frowned and pushed aside the incredulous anger at the governor. Carl and Y/N didn't deserve this. So it would probably happen in the back seat of Carl's car, on some country lane where Carl and Y/N could neither relax nor feel safe. Michonne felt bad at the thought - Carl wasn't just her best friend, he was like a son to her. She would have liked something less complicated for him.

Carl seemed to have read her mind, because he said, "We have a place we can go where it's safe and we'll be undisturbed," he revealed to her. "Don't worry about it."

Michonne looked at him inquiringly, registering how tense he was and how pasty. "I'm glad to hear that. But Carl, that's not all, there's more," she said softly. Carl's lower lip quivered, then he began to cry.

Michonne took him in her arms, and now he was sobbing. "Robert Andrews... he said to me I was ugly because of the scar, no one would ever love me, and it would have been better if I had died then," he said in a choked voice. "He said it was an inconvenience to have to look at me."

"That's not true," Michonne said, aghast, holding Carl a little away from her to stare at him. His eye was red from crying.

"Yes, it is," he sniffled. "That's what he said." He didn't mention the beating.

Michonne was speechless, she would have preferred to go right out and kill the governor, but she forced herself to be calm so as not to upset Carl even more. He looked like he had hardly slept anyway. She cuddled him gently and murmured comforting words. "I'll get you the condoms, and then the two of us will bake waffles with strawberries," she announced, struggling to somehow cheer Carl up. He loved waffles with strawberries. "And after that, you're going to sleep." Later, she would talk to Rick about it.

Rick was sad and angry when he learned about it later. Carl had endured so much awfulness in his short life, so many losses, and now this douchebag of a so-called governor was insulting him and shattering his self-confidence. Rick was so proud of how Carl's personality had developed, and Lori would have been, too, had she lived to see it. Hershel as well.

Couldn't Robert Andrews see how lovable, brave and sensible Carl was? How could he behave so callously toward him? Besides, it just wasn't true that the scar disfigured him; even if Carl himself still saw it differently. "I could kill Andrews," Rick growled. "Where's Carl?"

"He's asleep," Michonne informed him. "He said he had a headache. And I'm afraid you'll only make things worse for Carl and Y/N if you confront the governor." Frustrated, she threw a rag into the sink. "I already told Carl that it's really important that they use protection every time. If Y/N gets pregnant, it would be fatal."

                                                  ***

The next day, Carl made his way to the main gate. Negan had arrived, some goods were to be traded, and since Rick was on a mission of exploration in a nearby town, that task fell to Carl.

His stomach still aching, he slowly circled one of Negan's pick-ups and looked at the goods on the back of the truck - oranges, lemons and more exotic fruits. "Okay, we can use several palettes of these," he said, holding his stomach unobtrusively. "In exchange, we'll offer eggs, bacon and corn."

Negan eyed Carl from top to bottom. "What's the problem, serial killer?" he then asked straightforwardly. "You look like shit."

"Oh, thanks, Negan," Carl replied aggrieved. "I already know I'm so ugly I'd better be dead, and the sight of me is an insult! You don't have to tell me that, just shut the fuck up!" he yelled at Negan.

The latter flinched, startled. "That's not what I mean," he said, puzzled. "You look really sick, Carl. You're as white as a ghost." Again he eyed Carl. "You haven't been... bitten, have you?" he asked in a lowered voice.

"No," Carl muttered. "It's just, a zombie threw me on a trash can, and my stomach's been hurting ever since. It'll be fine," he finished sullenly.

"Doesn't look like it. You have two doctors in your crappy Alexandria town," Negan opined sternly. "You should see one of them. For your own sake. Just my two cents." He shook his head in annoyance.

So, after completing the trade, Carl went to the doctor's office, where he found Siddiq, and also told him the tall tale of the walker who had attacked him. Siddiq instructed Carl to lie down and expose his abdomen, then carefully palpated Carl’s body. Carl wailed in pain. "That's a massive bruise, Carl," Siddiq expressed with concern. The injury was just below Carl's old scar. "What other symptoms do you have? Did you throw up after the accident?"

"Twice," Carl admitted meekly. "The abdominal pain is pretty bad, too."

"Did you witness blood coming out of any part of your body?" insisted Siddiq.

"Um, no." Carl pulled down his shirt and sat up.

Siddiq sighed and rummaged around in a closet. "I hope you don't have a ruptured spleen, and that it's just a bad bruise," he then informed Carl, handing him some pain killers. "We'll have to wait and see. Take the pills, and get into bed. You need rest. Do not lift anything heavy. No strenuous activity. I will check on you tomorrow." Carl nodded gratefully and went home.

[will-pilled]

Montague

Possibly triggering stuff? Self harm, CA, SA.

Montague personality (summary, due to limited information):

Montague is controlling, as is evident. He comes off as very calm and collected, and seems like a rather calculating and "pulling the strings" sort of man. Can be very aggressive. Headcanons:

He/him cis man - Unlabled but prefers masculine leaning/androgynous individuals. (British cig) It's more aesthetics he's attracted to.

He is not a huge animal person, but Oscar was okay when he was around I guess..

Fashionista and artist, designs his outfits.

Fave colors are blue, white, black, blue-gray, and silver.

Knows a lot about rocks and crystals, keeps it to himself though because he doesn't want to look dorky.

He is very French, and swears in French often as well as muttering to himself and breaking into French speaking when flustered or overwhelmed.

Loves sweet and salty deserts as well as very savory food.

Really likes knives. They're neat.

He isn't a good man. He isn't even an anti hero. But he is very easy to feel bad for.

Not a fan of children, not at all.

Kind of a sarcastic ass hole. Not kind of, a huge one. Dry humor and sarcasm. *Blank stare* "Are you stupid?"

Skin care and hygiene freak, takes pride in how he looks.

The Society was the closest he had to friends, so when they all ditched each other he became bitter as FUCK.

He does want a romantic relationship BUT he also terrified of being close to someone. He doesn't want to risk someone being in control of him or being rejected or left. he has a VERY intense "leave people before they can leave me" mentality, but isn't really aware of it.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Is extremely convinced there is nothing wrong with him which leads him to be very "anti recovery," and makes him indulge a lot in unhealthy habits and actions. Has some narcissistic traits but not enough to have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

He *appears* calm and collected, but the moment he is sure he is alone he may fall into a hole-in-wall-punching fit of rage. Him breaking things is not uncommon. He takes his anger out on objects the most. He wants to fill the hole in his heart with objects and power. He chases the temporary highs of stealing, the chase, being in control of someone, and even perhaps drugs if he is bored enough. He only smokes in front of others, as he avoids doing most others in front of people due to more noticeable effects. He feels rather empty.

Intense need for control over himself and others, and in turn hates losing his shit. He HATES when things don't go his way for this reason as well, and his stealing also goes into this as he wants to control items and where they are.

A bit of a stalker, but not too bad. Stalking socials is his biggest thing.

(Potentially triggering? Self harm.) He did the eye scar to himself. No cool backstory or funny accidents. He did it to himself to look the way HE wanted to look. To control how he looks and what happens to his body. He never talks about how he got it, but loves it. Likely has other scars as well in intricate patterns and pictures. Doesn't really do it anymore because he honestly got bored of it. Not because he got better in any sense of the phrase.

(!CA, SA!)

Montague grew up with a very emotionally abusive and controlling father (Montague is sadly repeating the cycle it seems). He wasn't hit much by his dad, but was often picked on by peers for his queerness and being "girly." which caused his aggressiveness, though since he can do "whatever he wants" he is more open about it now. Not really "price flags everywhere" kind of open (though ngl I could see Meowscles being like that fucking bi and transgender ass cat) but more of a "clear closet"/"Is he... Y'know?" kinda open. He doesn't care for either parent much, they were both distant and let money raise him so he doesn't have much of an attachment to either of them. He has no feelings for them and when he came to the island he felt little to no grief at losing his old life other than his money and power.

He was assaulted when he was a young adult for a period of time by an employer, who had a great deal of influence and control. This is also where Montague's "I want influence and power" mindset comes from as well, so he will NEVER be at someone else's mercy again. He feels anger over it. He is no "perfect victim."

[lavendernlilac]

Didn’t except my hotguy pillow idea to get a full drabble!!! Beautifully written once again!! :D

Now I bring the much less thought out idea of them using one of those remote control vibrators during whatever situation(event/show/photoshoot/a lazy day at home/wherever). Either of them could wear it I think, Grian would definitely get a kick out of tormenting Scar with a vibrating cock ring or butt plug.

Scar would be kinder about it probably, not doing intense vibrations when Grian is talking to someone(though she’d be pretty good at disguising it).

Idk how much you care about sex toys, but they’re so interesting to me lmao

ty!!! :D it was too fun of an idea and I’ll take any excuse to write those two, I adore them so much. I don’t think I’ve gotten too many asks involving sex toys, but I don’t mind them! I think they’re def interesting :3

IVE HAD A THOUGHT LIKE THIS BEFORE OMG. starting with grian using one on scar… I can imagine it being while he’s doing an interview or something like that. she’d definitely get a kick out of it, that’s for sure LMAO. I can imagine her turning the setting from low to high out of the blue to mess with scar and he very quickly has to save face with the interviewer and play it cool. scar is very good at that but he definitely still gets caught off guard slightly

grian is a menace to him with the remote control in her hands (read: purposefully a brat with it to get him going). she makes him trip up a lot and while the interview goes well, scar still walks out of it a bit… frustrated :D

the second he’s done with the interview he’s dragging grian into the nearest closet he can find—his control? gone. flown away. and grian certainly gets the reaction and punishment she wanted from him

as for scar using a remote vibrator on grian, hmmm. I can for sure see him being kinder about it, he doesn’t change the setting on her all that much (not yet, at least). although, maybe he uses it to slowly edge her throughout the day…. allow me to offer: they’re at the studio and grian is recording songs she’s finished writing. scar turns the toy off when she’s recording vocals (he’d feel bad if he made her mess up with her music) but when she’s sitting down, either not doing anything, or going over stuff with her producer, he’s slowly cranking up the intensity of the vibrator and then suddenly turning it back down

she’s really good at hiding it too, acting as if nothing is happening. although internally she’s feeling so much and just wants. by the end of it grian is trembling a little and super needy for him. I have a really vivid image in mind of the two of them being alone in private and grian nearly ambushes scar with kisses. he’s telling her how amazing she was with recording and taking every tease from him while upping the vibrations

I don’t know why but I keep picturing scar putting it to the highest intensity and grian ends up sinking to the floor, finally letting herself become a mess and begging for scar

[celestesparlour]

lore: AU where cwilbur stayed in limbo, believing to have been seduced by the abyss; i have this personal hc that cwilburs limbo was created as a testament to his heritage as the goddess of death (mumza)'s son; mumza has been trying to reach out to her son throughout his entire time at limbo but limbo's power strengthened overtime, due to cwilbur's need of "punishment".

in this AU however, cwilbur never got out of that mindset. he now aimlessly traverses throughout what's outside the train station, as he subconsciously expands on the labyrinth of limbo.

i refer to them as limbobur, but i like to think her human name to separate her from the other burs would be pandora ^-^ !!

i also like to think she eventually gets out of her limbo- just now exploring the depths by mumza's side after her attempts at reaching out to him had finally reached him though, but her experiences in limbo would leave him scarred for life.

personality wise- limbobur's more cut and dry, always and straight forward because he doesn't have much space for words; years of limbo torn his ability to speak properly, so they speak either simply or make shortcuts through their echolalia. their knowledge on social interactions and social etiquette in general has long since faded, so they often come off as a bit too blunt on other people, and it's also hard to tell when they're joking since he speaks in a flat voice. they're usually quiet, their eyes searching left to right for what's ahead.

he, most of the time, smiles and laughs- though it's usually never out of genuine mirth, but rather to express fear, stress and nervousness. they often smile and laugh inappropriate situations. with this in mind asides from just their behavior in general, they're easily judged as the heartless type- though that isn't the case. i think he's a very quite emotional person deep down, just has very little to express despite it however. he hardly does, unless he is slightly on edge- their frantic nature becomes incredibly well known,

he has outbursts where he rambles on and on about things until his words just begins to slur in with one another. they also have a bit of a tendency to shake a lot, and get easily overwhelmed by sensory stimulation. whenever this does happen, they have a bad habit of pulling their own hair or clenching their fists so tight. they tend to be quite skittish, and full of anxiety as well as intense self loathing. just a sopping wet cat that isn't very obvious due to the seemingly cold exterior that they never really meant to put upon

he forgets to eat and sleep very often. but whenever they do eat, they're very picky about what they eat. whenever they do sleep, they don't mind sleeping anywhere- even in the most unconventional places like in the bathtub or on top of the lamp. they're very gullible, prone to deception as he would trust anyone but their own instincts. they hate staying around idly, preferring to do something like cleaning even if the room is already clean.

they're bad at functioning as a person in general, but they don't mean harm; they often try their best to be as helpful as they could; they want to be helpful. they despise being useless or not moving around, they fear being an inconvenience more than anything, they chase around for projects and for a purpose to serve; that's the reason why they fell "in love" with limbo in the first place, he had nothing else but limbo, so even when limbo was his personal hell, he clung onto it as its designer and architect.

but they have forgotten how people act, it gets very frustrating for them to understand how people work nowadays. it's one of their main goals to understand people again, in such a way, but he fears that they have already sensed he's far too disconnected; perhaps this is why he's weak to being deceived- it's so easy to, when he doesn't know much about anything, but if you nudge him into "helping you" then he will.

i like to imagine they would get along best with ghostbur who would be the most patient, though i feel like they have multiple instances where they both don't understand each other's tendencies very well, and that creates a lot of situations where they fuck up a lot; l'manbur likes them but whenever they try to help him with things, they end up messing it up really badly. limbobur feels immense guilt over those things, and l'manbur doesn't have the heart to tell them "no" even though he knows limbobur's very job at doing jobs. revivebur is scared of them, because he can immediately see that's who he would have been. they're more prone to doing dirty work for pogbur, who can easily convince them of anything. so does 100pbur. i don't know what their relationship with the others will be, but this is all i thought so far!

[doux-amer]

I think that they all have unique relationships with Logan so they perceive themselves as the special one and act accordingly even if that mindset manifests differently per sibling. I would also say that of all the kids, it’s Connor who is the outsider and is treated as such by everyone although yes, if we have only the trio, then Roman’s the odd one out. 

Connor and Roman are alike in that way. Logan messed with Kendall and Shiv so that they wholeheartedly believe they’re the anointed ones. Logan’s number one boy and daddy’s little girl. His Pinky. They have that “Dad loves me the most. He picked me. I’m his favorite” mindset, and that’s why they try so hard to please him. On the other hand, Connor and Roman are the outsiders in that Connor is forgotten and therefore a non-entity and people think there’s something too wrong about Roman to consider him a complete human being (this isn’t even touching upon Roman and sex, another way he’s seen as not whole). Connor and Roman yearn to get Logan to look at them and see that they’re real. They exist! They’re right in front of him! Notice/don’t forget them! The difference is that Connor has long since resigned himself to the idea that he’ll never get the love he seeks while Roman is desperately still trying.

I totally agree that Roman is “special” because of the physical abuse, though. I’m reminded of Roman gloating in “Too Much Birthday”; that made me so queasy because he’s aware of his relationship with Logan, but his emotions on the subject are tragically twisted and tangled. There’s also the extra “what Dad and I have is different” layer to it all because Logan himself is a victim of physical abuse and only Roman has that in common with him.  

This is a bit of an aside, but Logan’s suffering colors his perspective on what he does to Roman. It makes him regret what he does to Roman after the fact because he knows firsthand it’s bad and how it can hurt someone—but only up to a certain point. He’ll dismiss and deny the abuse and outright gaslight Roman into saying that it wasn’t anything because is it “really” abuse? A little slap? That doesn’t count because he knows what “real” abuse is, and real abuse leaves horrific scars on your back for life. That’s nothing.

In Logan’s mind, Roman deserves it anyway because Roman can’t stop and the lesson needs to be beaten into him. If Roman acted like a real person and didn’t go too far like he always does, there would be no need to hit him. Roman “makes” him hit him. He doesn’t hit his other kids. (He does, however, hit one other person in the show: Iverson, who Logan notably believes has something wrong with him because it’s implied that he’s autistic. Iverson isn’t a real, whole boy to him either.)

It’s not about weakness. He thinks Kendall and Shiv are weak, but he doesn’t hit them. He’ll psychologically mess with them. He’ll even mock them which strangely, he doesn’t ever do to Connor or Roman, at least when it comes to physical shortcomings for a lack of a better phrase because we all know he has no qualms about loudly saying what he thinks is wrong with his kids (S1 finale when he interrupts Kendall to say he can’t talk properly and goads/commands him to when Kendall’s stuttering gets intense and S3 finale when he singles out Shiv by imitating her because she’s just a stupid little girl in his eyes). But he doesn’t hit them. They don’t cross the line like Roman does because their desire for attention doesn’t manifest the way it does for Roman and because, you can argue, they’ve seen what will happen if they do.

It comes back to Roman not feeling like he’s seen as a real person, something that people—his family—have said to his face. He acts out to get noticed and continues pushing buttons to get a reaction for once because of Logan and when he does that to Logan, he gets unique attention. It’s not attention he wants per se, but at least Dad is paying attention to him. That’s what makes him special. That’s what makes him close to Dad—and the most like Dad. (Up through S4E2, excluding some wrestling with Shiv and Kendall that’s mostly stupid sibling behavior, he’s the only one who eggs someone to hit him and assaulting them.)

Kendall and Shiv think that too though they approach it from a different angle. They’re special. They’re close with Dad because they’re the chosen ones and they’re the most like Dad because of that which is why, I think, they end up refusing to return to Logan or put up with him anymore unlike Connor and Roman. Because Logan wouldn’t and they’re Logan. (And just like Roman, they then end up treating others the way they were taught by Logan and mistreated and abused by him.)

its like. roman being the only who was hit as a kid puts literally everything about him in perspective. in the way there’s something extra fucked up and extra broken about roman that isnt the romantic tragedy of kendall or the ‘daddys girl fights misogyny’ vindication of shiv. in the way of ‘there’s something wrong with you.’ in the way of his outsider status with his siblings, but Especially in his attachment to logan. if you’re getting singled out to be hit, who’s to say you’re not going to convolute that into thinking its because you’re extra special? that dad loves you in a special way that culminates into a special punishment? dad and i have a different bond because he’s struck me but has never struck you so it must be because what he feels for me is stronger

[casspurrjoybell-27]

In a Heartbeat - Chapter 35 - Part 2

*Warning - Adult Content*

Vince

With the heavy blanket of awkwardness gone, Simon was dozing off, just nearly asleep judging from his breathing but I couldn't sleep.

Today's events kept replaying, the way Simon was trying to connect with my wolf and the bond, the look on his face, it was a lot to process.

It didn't help that he was such an enigma with his emotions being all over the place and if everyone wanted me to try and understand the guy, where was I even supposed to start?

I hardly knew him before he left and sixteen years is a long time to change a person.

The people closest to him, who know him best all hate me, so it's not like I could just ask them either.

I don't know how long I spent just laying there, thinking and overthinking everything.

I even tried to replay the short memories I had of him from when he was here before he told me we were mates but I couldn't think of any, all I could remember was bits and pieces of when I kicked him out and even then, it was all a bit hazy.

So I shook my head, deciding to just try and sleep, knowing well that tomorrow morning would be even more awkward.

Out of habit, I turned on my right side, facing toward Simon.

I had slept on my right side ever since I lived with Sarah but now facing him was a weird sight.

Here he was, completely vulnerable, next to someone he probably never thought he'd be near.

His back was facing me, so I guess it was better than having him wake suddenly to see my face just a mere couple of feet away but it was still a weird sight and situation to see.

I probably should have turned back around but instead, I just stared.

Maybe it was because I've never been this close to him for such an extended period but I could make out his features better here in the dark than I could during the day.

He was just as thin as Sarah, if not, even more, even his neck seemed so delicately thin.

Through his shirt, I could make out parts of his spine that stuck out, his waist dipping so low into the mattress it was kind of unnerving but something stuck out the most.

His shirt rode up, exposing part of his back and torso but it wasn't his pale skin or how skinny he was.

It was the scars along his back, most looked like scratch marks, maybe even a few stretch marks but some were obviously deeper like a rogue had gotten a good chunk of skin.

One looked like a surgery scar, raised and placed right above his hip.

There were so many of them, that they often overlapped, crisscrossed, new, old, some seemed really fresh but there was one I was most concerned about.

A deep one, not more than three inches long but it was raised and far different from the others.

Most seemed to heal perfectly fine, a faint pink line, some so faint, it was hard to make out but this one was brutal.

It looked like it had been infected for a while, not properly healed or anything and with how bad it looked, it only reminded me of Xavier's scar.

Even though this looked like some rogue had slashed him in the back, the intensity of it was nothing short of shocking.

I blamed it on insomnia, the lack of sleep and possibly the effects of the lower dosage but I reached my hand out, the urge to feel what the scar felt like overruling any sensible thoughts.

I think a part of me also wondered if touching him would also feel freezing cold too but before I could make contact, Simon shifted, his back laying down as his face turned towards the ceiling.

Immediately, whatever trance I had fallen into vanished, my hand shooting back into my chest with lightning speed, as I shut my eyes closed in case he had stirred awake.

I waited a minute before peeking, relieved to see that he was still asleep.

But those scars?

Sarah had mentioned he had gone through a lot but I wasn't sure I'd ever really know and now seeing just how he interacted, his mannerisms and everything else to make himself feel small made me curious.

What really happened in those sixteen years?

********

I had been called into the council room early to work on some paperwork for our next meeting that needed to be approved tomorrow but I guess it was better than having an awkward morning with Simon.

I wasn't sure if he'd quickly retreat when he realized he decided to stay in my bed the whole night, so I was glad I could get out of there this morning.

It had only been about an hour's amount of work but I already felt drained.

Reading through approval requests, plans, schedule changes, it was all so tedious.

Now that Michael had been prepping major changes to the RCPP, as well as how managing the Betas and the border was going, he was giving me more and more paperwork to do.

Although it was easier than walking and patrolling with the Betas, having to read, stamp and correct papers was annoying as all hell.

I slammed the last of the papers on top of the completed pile before getting up and stretching my whole body.

I was starved, so I made my way to the kitchen, hoping Loreta still had some leftover breakfast I could scuff down.

But even if she didn't, I was fine with just stuffing my face with some stale donuts or even just a bag of chips at this point.

Loreta wasn't there and only a few of the kitchen staff remained cleaning the remainder of the dishes when I walked in.

I grabbed an apple before leaning over the sink, only to be shocked to see that Simon was up and talking with Xavier and some other pack members just outside the kitchen window.

Luckily, I don't think they noticed me but I still shut the sheer lace curtain about halfway in case they glanced my way.

I tried not to eavesdrop but the window was wide open and it was quite difficult with how loud they were being, especially the people Simon was with.

Most notable was Brady and his brother Grant.

Them, paired with my brother was always a loud crowd and our cousin Dwaine, who despite his typical stoic and silent demeanor, was actually participating and talking with Simon and Xavier.

"You haven't seen it?" Grant grasped Simon's hands.

"Moon Goddess, I have to show you."

"I'm sure he'd love to but he's still adjusting, Grant."

"Oh shut up, Dwaine," Grant fired back.

"We're having a movie night with Simon and I'm putting you in charge of the food since you hate movie series so much."

"I'm just saying if it takes three movies to understand everything, why don't they just make it easier to understand in a two-hour movie to begin with?"

Brady stepped between them.

"Alright you two, can we not fight about this right now? We have a lot more than movies to catch up with Simon."

"This ain't over, big guy," Grant glared at Dwaine before all of them laughed with each other.

From this angle, I could see Simon smiling wider than I ever saw him.

A dimple I never knew he had appeared on his left cheek, his eyes creased from his raised cheeks, as he looked at them with such ease and the way the morning sun shone on his face made it seem like he was glowing.

He looked happy, genuinely happy and that cold feeling from yesterday was coming back.

It was minor this time but I could feel it start to form in my chest, a small hold on my lungs, the pressure slowly growing until it plateaued.

I didn't know what he was doing to me but I didn't like this cold feeling in my chest.

It wasn't planning on going away and I wasn't entirely sure what it meant but a small part of me felt conflicted.

He was so happy with them, so comfortable.

So different from the anxious wreck he was anywhere near me and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever feel that way around me if he'd ever show me that authentic smile, where he'd feel comfortable to be in the same room and sure, I didn't want to admit that we were mates.

I really didn't but with everyone bashing me, telling me I was destined to fail, that I'd never be good enough, I just wanted to prove everyone wrong.

I was tired of people not believing in me, tired of them telling me what I should do, should think or what to say.

That and now with Michael here, I was reminded with all the times of people saying he was better than me.

I so badly just wanted to punch him and...

"Well, it appears he's made quite some friends."

[redwinterroses]

Good morning.

What if Martyn (in-character) was lying when he said that the Last Lifers had the memories of 3rd Life but not the attached emotions. What if they just weren't supposed to. What if they were all told "Yeah, you won't feel any of the same bonds, that's a feature not a bug" and then they log into the game and--

Wait what's going on why do they all remember 3rd Life with just as much intensity as they did before -- maybe more because they're back in this world? Something is very, very wrong--

So they all hide it. Suppress it. Because none of them realize it's happening to the others too. And that's why we get Scott unable to resist giving Jimmy a poppy. And no one quite trusting Impulse. And Scar and Grian constantly gravitating back toward each other.

And Ren.

Ren, who knows he's not supposed to be remembering this stuff, who thinks something might be wrong with him. Is this the boogey curse? He doesn't know what that feels like. Maybe this is boogey curse. But he doesn't want to kill anyone... he wants to regather his allies. Skizz, and Etho, and... Martyn. Oh this is very bad he is definitely not supposed to be feeling like Dogwarts is returning. He needs to isolate himself. Build a farm. Get food. Build a grumpy tower. Be alone. Don't shuffle toward Martyn every time the group is together. Resist the urge to protect and expect protection. That's not how this works. Something is wrong with him. He needs to get away from everyone, in case this is part of the boogey curse.

Meanwhile Martyn is furious. He also remembers Dogwarts and everything that went with it and he can't afford to be messed up this time. He didn't know the stakes in Third Life. Now he does. Now he does. He can't afford to want to protect Ren, to team with Etho, to trust Skizz. He's got to get away from all of them. He can't afford those weaknesses, not if he's going to win. So he teams with the Southlands -- some of his bitterest enemies from last time, and if it looks like he has to stab them all in the back, well. Nothing wrong with feeling a little satisfaction about that.

But then Ren sets his tower on fire.

He doesn't know why he does it. He sees Martyn on the horizon and something snaps. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want to be alone, he doesn't want to be separated from his allies, the men he would still fight and die for. He hates this tower, hates every stone of it, every plank that isn't Dogwarts, that wasn't built with friends, that doesn't protect anything because what is there to protect? So in a moment of breaking frustration, he flicks the lighter and it all starts going up in flames.

He regrets it the minute the smoke starts to choke him, of course -- he hasn't thought this through. He needs to get out. This is -- this is how Etho died, isn't it? Though even Etho wasn't alone. He's got to get out, he needs to--

And then Martyn is there, shouting at him and putting the fire out and Ren is coughing and there are tears in his eyes -- from the smoke, only the smoke -- and his paws are singed and why does he feel so glad because Martyn is shouting at him and oh. There's something in Martyn's voice. An anger that he hadn't expected. And the Red King looks at his Hand through bleary eyes and Martyn meets his gaze and they realize at the same time:

They're not alone. They remember. Either something is wrong with both of them, or they were lied to. Martyn, bitterly, thinks he knows the answer.

They'll have to be careful. You never know who's listening. Who's... watching. So they can't say anything outright. But. There are no rules about new alliances, right? As long as they never outright mention Dogwarts. As long as it's a secret that hides between words, they can circumvent the rules. What are rules to lying gods? The Watchers deserve to be tricked. Let them do what they will.

So the shadows rise. And if the handclasp Martyn offers Ren is the old Dogwarts greeting, who's to say? Maybe this time will be different. Or if it's not, at least they're not alone.

[villain-enthusiast]

#nice let’s gaslight hero until they begin to doubt their reality | continuation please because i love this and i love you

part one part two

tw: manipulation, intense fear, violence

Hero gasped awake from their nightmare, lurching in their bed. Cold sweat coated their skin in a slimy, unpleasant sheen.

They flung their blankets off and ran to the bathroom, keeling over the toilet as the urge to vomit suffocated them.

They closed their eyes.

Breathe. They needed to breathe.

In, out, in, out…

It wasn’t working.

Nausea seized them and they gagged, choking, but nothing came out. Their matted hair fell into their face. If threw up now...ew. Ew ew ew ew...

Their hands were shaking too much to even lift their arms. They were stuck, frozen in place.

Gentle fingers brushed across their head, holding back loose strands as they spat into the toilet. That was nice of—

Wait.

Hero jerked away so hard their back slammed into the wall next to them, hands flying up to their hair.

Villain smirked down at them. “You didn’t like that?”

Hero’s throat closed up. They blindly grabbed the nearest object to them, which was a bottle of hand soap, and threw it at Villain, scrambling back even though there was no where to go.

Villain caught the bottle with ease and inspected it. “Hmm,” they mused. Their eyes flicked back to Hero, who cringed, hands twisting in their shirt.

“Bad dream?” Villain cocked their head.

“G-get…get away!!!“ Hero screamed, tears blurring their vision. “You bastard!!” Their chest heaved up and down violently as they struggled for the oxygen lost to their terror.

“Aw,” Villain pouted mockingly. “The one time I’m actually here, you don’t want me around?”

What?

Hero sank back into the wall, eyes widening. “You…you’re…” They shook their head. “No, nonono you’re not. You’re fucking lying!!”

The figure of Villain from their dream, bloodied and manic, reappeared in their head, and they repressed the scream that was tight in their vocal chords.

“I killed you!!” they cried, voice cracking. “I-I…I stabbed you in the heart!! You’re supposed to be d—,”

In one swift motion, Villain had Hero by the collar, holding them up as if they were a ragdoll.

Hero forgot all bodily functions as Villain stared them down. Oh they were real. They were so fucking real. Not dead. They weren't dead. Why weren't they dead.

Black edged their vision. They were going to faint.

"Ah ah ah," Villain tutted, shaking them up and down. "You're not getting out that easy."

Hero blinked blearily.

Villain used their free hand to grab Hero's wrist and place their palm flat against their chest.

Hero, through their haze of pure fear, vaguely registered the heartbeat under Villain's skin.

Heartbeat. Villain had a heartbeat.

"You feel that?" Villain whispered in their ear. They shifted Hero's hand around, and Hero felt an odd, elevated line against their touch. "That's the scar you gave me."

Hero remembered. The sword. Torn flesh. A scream, then silence.

"How are you...alive?"

Villain's lips split into a grin. "That's a great question." They released Hero's wrist, tapped their nose in a teasing gesture. "Why don't I take you with me, and I'll give you a little insight into how that happened?"

Hero scrabbled at Villain's grip. "N-No..."

"Either that, or you stay here, and I'll keep administering those lovely nightmares and spooky tricks. Maybe I'll even pop-in every now and then in my illusion form to see how you're holding up." Villain's eyes flashed with malicious intent, dark and boiling with an unresolved hatred.

Hero swallowed thickly, tears streaking their cheeks.

Villain cooed at them. "Better make a decision, sweetheart."

Hero, helpless as ever, nodded once.

It felt like they had just made a deal with the devil.

Villain chuckled. "Smart choice." They dropped Hero, only to grab them by the waist and yank them close. "Better hold on.”

Hero could only stifle their sobs, barely registering Villain’s words. Never had they been in such close proximity like this before.

The last thing Hero saw was their own fearful expression in the mirror before everything around them dissipated into smoke, and they were transferred away.

tags for people who wanted:

@pianoplayingpossumart @defective-angel-13 @watercolorfreckles @1becky1 @viitalvoiid @diamondbedard

[liitlesunshiine]

Villainous Taste

(Detective reader x Villain Bakugo)

Warnings: NSFW, smut, mentions of death, degradation, manipulation, very bad bad stuff, dubcon, noncon, assault, sub/dom themes, don’t read if sensitive to violent themes

_________________

You sighed in frustration at your desk that was fully covered with a mountain of papers. It’s been over year now since you’ve been assigned to the notorious Bakugo, Katsuki case; and you’ve made little to no progress on catching the pesky fucking villain. You were losing your patience by the day. Especially since it felt like a personal attack on your ego that you still haven’t managed to pin this guy down. The great detective Y/N, Y/LN getting played and taken a fool by the villain himself. It’s not like you’ve made no progress though. There were times, many instances in fact, when you managed to pin the villain down. The constant face to face encounters only ending with the villain toying with you and taunting you. It’s honesty a surprise that you’re still alive considering all the chances he has had to kill you. Condescending dick, you were sure he was getting off by the chase. This all seemed to be a game to him and it infuriated you even more since you were practically entertaining it. He was thriving off the little interactions with the quirkless detective.

The way he would cockily stride his way to you with that big smirk smeared across his face. Eyes devouring your body that left an unsteady chill run down your spine. His presence held such power and intimidation that you couldn’t help but take steps back with every step he took forward. You always felt like a deer in headlights whenever he swaggered towards you. No amount of experience or expertise will ever get you accustomed to his predatory gaze.

“Go figure they’d send a quirkless bitch my way. They must really hate’ya.” He said with a rather amusing look, never breaking his eye contact with you. He grabbed a piece of your hair twisting it softly between his fingers, as if he were inspecting it. You could’ve sworn he was sniffing it too.

Yea, you were quirkless but you managed to hold your own ground. Having to work ten times as hard, having to prove yourself among your peers and having to earn the respect and position you have worked so tirelessly for years. While being quirkless was a hinderance or handicap as some would say, it was a mountain that you decided needed to be climbed. You reached its peak and planted your flag years ago. This title wasn’t given to you mindlessly. You dedicated tears, sweat, and blood to get to where you are now. Gained recognition from higher up heroes themselves and even managed to get assigned to Bakugo’s case; the most wanted and powerful villain in Japan. Now, you weren’t in denial either, you were well aware you stood no chance against the hero toe to toe. Hell, even the top tier heroes themselves barely made it out alive. You were simply here to pinpoint his locations and set up an area for his arrest. What seemed to be a simple task ended up as a wide scale massacre with Bakugo skimping through all the heroes nonchalantly. It was a complete blood bath. All the pro heroes who were posted for defense that day were to be blown up to pieces; the graphic scene till this day haunts you in your sleep. Sleepless nights and paranoia became a norm, with the image of him dripping with blood casually stalking towards you was something that you have not been able to shake out of your head for months now.

He had forced you into an alley that day. You were trying your best to steady your breathing and figure out an attempt to get the fuck out of this predicament. Your eyes skimmed for any opening, avoiding his intense gaze, looking anywhere but his blooded face.

You felt your back hit against the wall. He was now sickly close to you, you placed your head down in shame looking at his shoes rather than his face. Knowing damn well there was no way out of this situation. Beads of sweat ran down your back and colored your forehead. He slammed both his hands against the wall, causing you to jump, your head now trapped in between his forearms. His body hovered over, the smell of blood forcing its way into your nose. The intense body heat radiating off of him, had your head spinning. You felt frozen in place, every worst case scenario rushing through your mind, trying to stay steady while silently sobbing to yourself.

“My eyes are up here slut.” He gripped your chin roughly forcing your eyes to meet his. You took in the rough image of the villain in front of you. You saw the spiky unruly hair sticking out in every direction, some parts drenched in the blood of his victims. His sharp facial features looked even more intimidating under this light, little scars freckled his skin here and there scattered throughout; and his 5 o'clock shadow appearing in patches. It was his eyes that took you by surprise most. None of the pictures posted online, none of the documents you saw ever matched what appeared in front of you. The dark ruby colored eyes stared curiously back at you, analyzing your every move. The stare felt strangely intimate, and it probably would’ve been considering the circumstance. Y/N wasn’t sure if she was really fully conscious of what was happening, but having him so close was making her feel unnerved. Hell, even as a villain there are many people who admire and drool over the criminal. But seeing him this up close drenched in the blood of your peers was when the fear and guilt washed over you and you quickly snapped out of his trance. You were brought back to your senses and reminded of your current predicament. The images of the heroes fighting and dying at the hands of this animal quickly flooded in. Anger now overwhelming your sense. You reminded yourself that you were quirkless, not helpless. And with that thought, you broke your intense gaze away from him, slapping his hand off your chin and quickly spitting in his face. The action caught him rather off guard and you took this delayed response to knee him in the balls and bolt for it “FUCKING BITCH!” He roared.

~

Ever since then your encounters with Bakugo have been rather odd to say the least. You didn’t really know how else to describe it. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. There were instances where he would get rather “touchy” and others where he would straight up just physically hurt you. It was a wind whirl of emotions and odd behavior whenever you encountered him. You didn’t know what to make of it either. He could’ve killed you months ago and the fact that he hasn’t, has left you feeling uncomfortable and confused. You felt yourself wanting to avoid him now, you haven’t been prioritizing his case anymore and you’ve lost all the spunk and passion you had in the beginning. Continuously failing to catch him and having countless of pro heroes dying at the hands of his explosions was something you no longer had the heart to bare.

Especially now that whenever you found him he’d just toy with you. It was beginning to seem as if he's looking forward to these little encounters, like he’s waiting for you. You began to notice the issue when he was becoming purposefully sloppy in hiding his tracks, it was if he was screaming to be caught. And after working his case for over a year Y/N knew his actions, how careful and precise he could be when he wanted to. A perfectionist in his own right but now, now he was practically waving a flag yelling at you where he is and to come and get him. This was a total 180 from his usual behavior and tactic and with each encounter becoming more unseemly; Y/N thought it was best to take a break from the scandalous villain. You decided on no longer participating on the missions. You couldn’t shake off the eerie feeling of this situation and where you were once so headstrong stepping into the battlefield, your courage and pride was stripped from you. Now the only thing you prioritize was staying the hell away from him. So with whatever information you did find on the villain was quickly handed over to the hero agency without any hesitation.

~

After a few months of you steering clear from the villain, his crime scenes were becoming more brutal and graphic by the week. His killing sprees drastically increasing and the victims were piling up. Y/N couldn’t help but to let guilt consume her. Thoughts of Bakugo infiltrated Y/N’s mind. From the moment she woke up, to while she’d desperately attempt to sleep. You felt yourself slowly going insane. As if your movements were being watched at all times. Your mental state began taking a toll on you and was affecting your work. You could no longer focus on anything for a span of time without the mere image of a bloodied Bakugo appearing in your head.

His case was one you guiltily found compassion in. One of the top students in UA Academy showing nothing but absolute potential to become a top ranking hero crumbled and fell to villainy after his long time friend Izuku Midoriya, was killed trying to save him. It appeared the guilt ate him up inside and as a result, Bakugo quickly blamed the heroes for being weak and unable and decided on taking matters to his own hands by killing everyone involved that day in Midoriya’s death. This paired on with him living in an abusive household led to what he is now, at least that’s what Y/N assumed. Y/N’s heart felt torn in two feeling somewhat sympathetic towards him due to his rough upbringing and traumatic past but either way it did not excuse the atrocities he was committing now. You felt yourself falling deeper into the rabbit hole because of this man. You finally decided this couldn’t continue on any longer. You requested a transfer, figure you cut your losses with Bakugo’s case and move on with your life.

~

It had been two weeks since you’ve transferred departments and moved into the inner city of Tokyo. It was new, it was adventurous, and it was a step forward. A perfect way to start fresh and move on. You felt the withdrawals from Bakugo’s case every now and then, mainly the guilt consuming you at night or whenever you saw the news appear on TV with a new crime he had committed. You did your best to avoid those emotions though. He was no longer your problem and you did everything you could anyways. Regardless, your attempts at catching him always resulted with blood on your hands.

It was a particular long day at work. You decided on staying later than usual setting up the finishing touches in your new office. You figured you’d also catch up on some cases to avoid getting swamped on Monday. By the end of it you came to realize it was a quarter past midnight. “Oh shit, I gotta get the hell outta here,’ you mumbled to yourself while you quickly got your personal things and organized the remaining loose ends in the office. You locked up everything and exited out the building, deciding on taking the metro home since you felt exhausted and couldn’t commit to the 2 mile walk.

You weren’t used to the metro being so empty and silent, but it was rather peaceful you thought. While the doors open you took no notice in the looming figure behind you. Exhausted and empty minded you walked in, to the doors behind you closing. You were instantly snapped out of your daze when you got shoved against the pole and a hand quickly covering your mouth to silence your scream.

“I’m real upset quirkless.” You immediately recognized the voice and a chill ran down your spine. You looked up to see the reflection of Bakugo off the window, he was staring at you dead in the eye. His signature scowl heavily evident on his face.

“Are you trying to hide from me? Made me follow your ass all the way to Tokyo now? Come on quirkless, you know I hate being teased.” He positioned himself to have his crotch lined up with your ass. You felt the pressure only getting bigger with each word he spoke. Your heart was racing by this point, you tried to wiggle your way out of his grasp but he only gripped you harder as a result. He pulled your hair forcing you to look at him once again through the reflection.

“What happened slut, got bored of me? Am I not important enough anymore to catch? I’ve killed hundreds of people ya know, why did you stop trying to arrest me? Don’t tell me another villain got your attention. I don’t mind killing off the competition babe.” He gripped your hair even harder to the point where your skull was becoming numb, your cheeks already salted with tears.

“Fucking slut, I should seriously punish you. You’ve been making me work overtime.”

The train did a gradual stop and the doors open once again with two individuals walking in. Y/N felt a bit of hope wash over her until Bakugo moved to sit down on the opposite direction, forcing you on top and both your backs facing the two people who just walked in. Since he was wearing a hoodie no one would be able to recognize him from this angle. Right now the situation looked like two people who are just foundling on the train. You now sat directly on top of the villain’s lap. His hand still covering your mouth harshly. When you felt the bulge in his pants fully erect is when you began to whimper.

“Awe, did my slut miss me? Don’t worry detective, I’ll give you some nice warranted attention.” His free hand began to stroke your exposed thigh. The action immediately had you squish your thighs together and attempt to get away. But he simply responded with gripping you tighter.

“Try anything and I’ll fucking take you right here, right now. I’ll blow up everyone in this fucking train. Try me bitch.”

He placed a testing hand on your thigh and tapped it softly as if waiting for your reaction. You stayed still not daring to move. “Come on baby, open up for your favorite villain.”

You silently nodded your head no, more tears springing out. He gripped your thigh roughly.

“Y/N, I won’t ask again. Fucking open.” The authority and venom that came from that demand left you having goosebumps. The fear reached you and before you knew it, you had your legs opened and spread for him.

"Atta girl.” He hummed satisfied and began stroking your inner thigh. Absolute shame and guilt overtaking your senses, you felt completely out of control and held prisoner. Your mind trying to disassociate itself with the current reality you’re in right now. But only to being brought back with his rough hands violating you and his threatening tone looming over you. “Now, I’m gonna release my hand from your mouth. If you make any fucking noise, I’ll kill everyone in this metro and make you watch while they beg for their lives, m’kay.” You nodded rather quickly, you wouldn’t be dumb enough to even dare to do such a thing. Too many people have already fallen victim to this animal, you refuse to take part in anymore blame for it. You’d figure you just let him use you and quickly get over the situation and forget it ever happen. Maybe you’ll set up an attempt to try and kill him yourself. Either way, the sooner this is over the sooner you get to go home and ball your eyes out and come up with a plan. He hummed again with your response.

“Good girl.” His hand slowly and hesitantly left your mouth and snaked its way to your thighs. He gripped both of them and forced your legs to open wider.

"Really liking the skirt baby. Makes accessing you so much easier.” He chuckled in your ear, mocking you. Ironic considering this is the first time you’ve worn a skirt in over a year. Your fucking luck. This whole thing was just entertainment for him, bastard.

His hands slowly made themselves lower reaching the inner most part of your thighs. He pulled the skirt up, completely showcasing your thong and pantyhose. You practically heard him salivating behind you. You tried to close your legs feeling painfully embarrassed.

“Tsk. What did I say Y/N” he forced your legs apart once again but with more aggression and speed, that lead you to buckle your hips onto him. You instantly became flushed, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks at the realization of what you just did. You heard him groan.

“Such a fucking tease.” He ripped your pantyhose apart, giving him full entrance to your underwear. The cold air had a cooling sensation on your inner thighs and you felt yourself softy throb. You let out a silent whine and he quickly shoved two of his fingers in your mouth while the other started doing soft circles on your clit.

“Fuck quirkless. You’re so wet, always knew you were a fucking whore for me.”

Even to your surprise you didn’t expect yourself to be this hot and ready for him. You felt completely betrayed by your body but you couldn’t help in relishing in the sensation. It felt so good to finally be touched by someone even if it was someone as vile as him. Is this what it feels like to have the most dangerous man about finger fuck you on the metro train? Maybe you can just pretend you’re getting touched by Jim- the cute and quirky coworker of yours, but with every flick even that was seeming to be difficult already. You were sucking and licking his fingers shamelessly and subconsciously grinding down on his erection. You were definitely disgusted from yourself. But you’d be lying if the thought of fucking this villain hasn’t crossed your mind. Especially with the constant harassment you faced whenever you crossed paths, how he’d violate you but never to this extent. Always leaving you in an array of emotions. Even now you’re having a hard time understanding what exactly is happening.

Your eyes snapped right open when the fingers in your mouth left to slap your pussy. You glared at him with a concerning look. He only smiled in response, the sadistic kind.

“You seemed distracted baby. Got me doing all this work and you’re not even paying attention.”

His wet fingers hooked your underwear and causally pulled them off. You were now completely exposed and the reality of the situation was settling on you. “Bakugo please don’t.”

“After you were sucking and grinding on me? Don’t act so innocent now bitch, you’re fucking soaked. Pussy is practically begging for my cock.”

He slipped one finger inside slowly, as if he was exploring the inside of your pussy. His fingers were thick and scarred due to years of using his quirk. The sensation alone was enough for you to throw your head back on his shoulder, opening your legs wider for him. You couldn’t grasp the reason for your actions. Here you were shamelessly opening yourself up and enjoying the fingers of a villain who has caused so much destruction and brought about so much pain in your life. How is it that you’re enjoying this? You really are a terrible person.

“Fuck baby, this is quite the sight.”

Any attempt in trying to hide what you and Bakugo were doing was completely thrown out the window by the sloppy and lewd noises from the villain fingering you. You began to bite your bottom lip in attempt to hold back the moans trying to escape you when he added a second finger.

“Don’t hold them noises back, let these people know how good you feel from just by my fingers slut.” By this point you couldn’t control the soft noises coming out of you even though you were trying. He was fingering you with such expertise, you were feeling yourself beginning to melt under him. When was the last time someone had touched you liked this? Are you so touch starved that you’re about to cum from out of all people- Bakugou Katisuki? Your mind was spinning.

The train reached its second stop. You tried to close your legs and compose yourself before the doors had open but Bakugo didn’t stop his assault. “Bakug-“

“Keep them open baby. We’ll put on a show for whoever sees. I don’t give a fuck.”

The only two passengers who were on the train walked out rather quickly and with no one else entering, it was just you and this villain inside. You couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or bad but at least the risk of him hurting someone else isn’t looming over your head. Instead of taking this moment to escape you threw your arms up gripping Bakugo by the neck. Might as well and try to get this over with. Sooner this ends, the sooner you get go home and bleach your skin clean and pray for forgiveness to whichever god decides to listen. This action did indeed catch him slightly by surprise but he stopped fingering you momentarily and ripped your shirt off revealing your bra to him. He quickly gripped both of your breasts massaging them in his hand.

“Turn around.” He huskily said into your ear. Already lost in the sensation of how good he was making you feel, you quickly got off him to then get back on straggling him. You were now back on him facing him with your cunt completely exposed, skirt crumbled up to your waist, and your breasts directly in his face. He was smirking down on you. He gripped the center of your bra and activated his quirk leaving the bra in shreds.

“Any idea how long I’ve been wanting to fuck this pretty little body of yours?” He gripped your neck, choking you slightly while his mouth made his way to your nipple. “Way too fucking long. Gonna devour your little cunt. Gonna make you pay for all the trouble you’ve been causing me.” His hand left your throat and began squeezing and pinching your nipple. The action causing a moan to rip out of you. “Fucking bitch, you’ve been such a distraction.” You were gripping and pulling his hair now while grinding furiously against his crouch in a desperate attempt to feel some type of friction. “Bakugo-“

“Katsuki,” he corrected, “we’ve been past the formalities for a while now”

You blushed, you rarely call anyone by their first name but Bakugo could be the exception. Besides it’s not like he wasn’t fingering your pussy like a jackhammer on a public train 5 minutes ago, not like you were grinding on him like a desperate dog in heat right now...

“Suki,” you said hoping the cute pet name would be enough to grab his attention, you attempted to sound as desperate and needy as possible, “please make me cum already.” You pleaded while placing your hands on his shoulders. Makeup smudged from the tears and sweat, lipstick smeared on your chin from him covering it, clothes all ruined and your hair a mess, you already looked so fucked out, Bakugo just ate the sight up. He had his hands gripping the side of your hips caressing them. You leaned in wanting a kiss until he quickly gripped your face squeezing your cheeks together preventing it so. “On your knees baby.”

While still squeezing your face you slowly get off his lap on your knees in between his legs.

“Open your mouth and show me your tongue.” He released his tight grip but kept his hand in place, you opened your mouth and slowly stuck out your tongue. He gave a devious smirk, in which you saw something enlighten in his eyes. The bright red color seeming more mahogany now. He leans in lining his mouth above yours and spits on your tongue. He nods his head allowing you to swallow, which you complied easily to. You now waited patiently for his next orders, your full submissive side completely taking over, not like you have much of a choice anyways. Regardless, the desire to please him and the desperation from under is consuming your every thought and sensation.

“Go on slut, suck daddy’s cock.” He leans into the seat with his legs fully spread to you. You slowly unzip his pants with shaking hands allowing his dick to spring free. You nearly drooled at the sight wanting to taste him badly. He was completely erect, a huge vain running down the base of his cock, the tip already covered in precum looking swollen and red. You lean in his dick using your hands to pump him, you slowly bought the tip towards your mouth giving it small kitten like licks. As you began sucking the villain in front of you, he lets out small grunts and groans throughout. He eventually pulls your hair and shoves his dick entirely in your mouth forcing itself to hit the back of your throat. 10 seconds pass by and he hasn’t removed his hand, 11, 12… your eyes begin watering and you’re desperately attempting to get fresh air. You begin pulling away only for Katsuki to laugh and hold you down tighter. “Aha’ha choking on my dick detective? Such a cock hungry whore… this outa teach you a lesson, maybe I’ll get some hand cuffs late-later on and treat you like you really deserve, yea-yeah. That sounds soo good.”

While Bakugo goes back and forth with himself, you begin getting red faced and losing consciousness he pulls your hair up forcing you off and you while you take this opportunity to weed in gaps of air desperately and choking, he quickly shoves himself back inside your mouth. This time he moved your head in up/down motions, you attempted your best to slurp and suck with minimal oxygen entering your system, but it was proven to be very difficult, luckily enough you notice the villain becoming slower and sloppier with his movements. You brought yourself to deep throat his cock once more until the warm liquid has finally entered your mouth. The taste sour and sticky inside, this is what sin must taste like you thought.

As on cue, the metro did a halt and you instantly recognized the location. You gave a side eye to the villain next to you who also knew this was the stop to your neighborhood. He self confidently got up and immediately zipped his pants. He took off the hoodie he wore only leaving the black tank top underneath and shoved it over your head. The hoodie was long enough to cover your whole body and you were thankful since your current garments were in shreds across the floor. It also smelled strangely sweet, odd, like burnt caramel? Maybe the lack of oxygen is making you slightly delusional? You assumed, well hoped- this is where you would go separate ways with the villain. Have this memory go to the grave with you and forget it ever happened. But to your lovely surprise he picks you up bridal style and carries you out the metro. You looked at him questioningly, the feeling of dread looming over and suddenly becoming overwhelming just waiting for his response. He simply smirked.

“You’re clocking in overtime tonight detective.”

[roscgcld]

ZEN’IN NAOYA || husband’s duty

request: omg if it is okay can i ask for a part 2 of sweet little things 🥲

note: you definitely can, love! honestly this definitely cracked my head a little since we didn’t get to explore naoya too much as a character, underneath all that complexity that makes him up as the man we saw in the manga. But I am not gonna sit here and say I do not simp for him AHAHAHA - that would be a huge lie. But we shall see, no? I feel like I made him too soft though, but I live for soft!Naoya - so do not touch me T^T 

part one

warning: suggestive scene throughout, but nothing happens really. just naoya being an ass lol

pronouns: she/her

A content sigh left Naoya’s lips as he leans back into the warm water of the bath, his eyes slowly sliding shut at the warmth that surrounds him. Today has been a long day on the office - with back to back meetings and piles of paperwork on his desk, he was just ready to land into his bed face first and sleep the evening away. 

“What do you want for your onigiri filling tomorrow? The farmers that produce that special rice you like sent a bag of rice to us earlier today.”

Your soft and sweet voice was what broke him out of his tranquil trance, yet he doesn’t find himself getting angry. Instead he hummed as he leans towards the direction of your voice, seeming to melt further in the steaming water when your soft hands immediately rest themselves against his broad shoulders. Fingers immediately getting to work on the knots that had started to build up since the afternoon. “Hmm...unagi filling sounds good.”

“I’ll make some for your bento tomorrow then,” You reassured him with a warm smile as you started to work through the knots on his shoulders, making sure to not accidentally dig your short but well kept nails into his skin. Whilst Naoya enjoys leaving marks of ownership all over your person, he does not appreciate having any scars left on his skin. And although he does not voice his disapproval, you know your husband well enough to know that unless he is in the mood, you should be careful about things like your nails scratching his skin. 

The idea of you making one of his favourite dishes for him, knowing that he has to deal with more paperwork and calls tomorrow has him smiling softly in response. He would not voice out how your little actions causes his usually cold heart to skip a beat; instead he just leans back a little when he heard you collecting some water from the tub with the wooden shower pale. Relishing in the feeling of the water being poured over his two-toned hair, along with your soft fingers gently running through the strands. 

Many people feel bad for you, since everyone knows what kind of man Naoya is. Everyone knows that he is nothing more but a skirt chaser, a man who views women as nothing an accessory to hang off his arm. Whose purpose is to provide strong heirs, and nothing more. You knew of the man even before you met him the first time on your family estate - listening to your older sister rant about how much of a myogenetic, rude, and disgusting excuse of a man Zen’In Naoya is. You’ve heard of the whispers from the other women whenever you would join a jujutsu event where the Zen’Ins would be in attendance. You knew that the moment both your fathers shook hands after Naoya shows great interest in you, your future was sealed to be with a man who seems to be every woman’s living nightmare.

And yet, for the last 4 months of marriage life, things have been...pleasant.

Naoya knew from the moment that he spoke to you that he needed to act ‘softer’ in order to gain your trust. That he cannot be his full self around you for at least the first month of your marriage in order to make him trust you; or until his patience runs thin from acting. 

However, even though he has promised himself that he will drop the act after the first month; here he is, 4 months into your new marriage. Still finding it almost natural for him to act softer and more...kinder around you. Maybe it is because he finds your personality just so soft and welcoming that it just...felt right to treat you differently. Maybe he is just trying to reason to himself that as his wife, you should be treated differently from the common folk outside of your private home; after all, as long as he keeps you happy, he can get away with pretty much anything. 

And yet...he has yet to find it in him to actually act like his usual self around you. Almost as if he was afraid of scaring you, or fearing that you’re scared of him. It’s laughable - how a man who was so self centered and only cared about himself and no one else, seemed to be so worried about what his wife thinks about him. He had reasoned to him that this is normal; that any husband would want their wife to fear them. 

But just...it was odd to him. How he chooses to act differently around you, and not feel like he is forced in any way.

His opened his eyes to take a peak at you when his thoughts start to wonder, scanning over your concentrated features as you carefully worked the shampoo through his hair. Somehow just seeing you so focused on making sure that he was enjoying his bath had his heart skipping a beat; something that would have scared him if it were to happen with anyone else. 

Yet, instead he found himself letting a small but genuine smile tug against the corners of his lips, one that immediately catches your attention as you carefully wash the studs from his hair. “What got you so happy, my love?,” You asked him curiously as you carefully ran your fingers through his hair, making sure that all the studs were gone. Instead of answering he just reached his hand up to grab your wrist in his gently, pressing a soft kiss against the inside of your wrist. 

Naoya isn’t a man to convey his emotions often. He doesn’t necessarily view emotions as weak; he just sees no reason to show others around him how he feels unless it brings him some form of advantage. Other then that, he just puts up an arrogant and unbothered front for the most part. But with you...well, you were different. You are his wife, and in order to be a good husband, he needs to show you that he is willing to show you what is underneath his mask. Or so, he thinks that is what he needs to do. 

The feeling of Naoya’s lips against your skin send a set of shivers down your spine, your eyes shyly glancing away from his handsome face as you felt the tips of your ears warm up. Just seeing how bashful you were about something as small as showing you emotion had him smirking against your wrist, immediately wanting to see just how far he can push his luck. 

And he knows exactly what to do. “Get in the bath with me.”

You immediately snapped your shocked eyes back at your husband in shock, immediately feeling your cheeks warm at how he was staring at you expectantly. Although you’ve seen each other naked before, with him being so obsessed of having an heir of his own - it would be a surprise if you haven’t see him naked in all his glory. It wasn’t like he was bad to look at either - from all the training puts himself through to perfect his Technique, you would be lying to say that you’ve never stared at his strong back or broad shoulders whenever you two are alone. 

It was just...so sudden. And you immediately knew what his intensions were, yet you just pouted softly as you quietly pulled yourself up from the steps you were seated on. Just seeing the soft pout tugging against the corner of your lips had Naoya biting back a smile as he watches you strip from your kimono, carefully folding the expensive fabrics to the side. 

Soon you carefully made your way up the wooden steps of the traditional bathtub, thanking your husband quietly as he held a hand out to help you into the tub. You awkwardly knelt down between Naoya’s knees, still a little nervous to touch him even though he was the one who invited you into the bath with him. Naoya found your fear quite amusing, and without missing a beat he grabbed your hand in his before he pulls you close; chuckling at the squeak you let out when you landed against his bare chest. 

“Don’t need to be so scared, my wife,” Naoya mumbles with a smirk, hands trailing down your soft back to relish the goosebumps that appear on your skin; his eyes glancing away from your shocked face to your fists resting against his chest.  “After all...if there is one person worthy enough to be by my side, it will be you,” He mumbles, hands that seem even warmer than the water surrounding you two resting on the small of your back.

A combination from his soft touches, to his overly sweet but frank words had your face burning up once more as you whine and bury your face into his neck, your actions causing Naoya to let out a soft but genuine peel of laughter come from his chest. “Did I startle you?,” Naoya asks in amusement, already knowing the answer to that question. Yet he wanted for you to answer the question yourself, since he lives for seeing you getting embarrassed over the smallest of interactions with him.

You fluttered your eyes close to try and calm you rapid heartbeat, yet you nodded your head gently to answer his question. “A-A little..,” You mumble back quietly against his skin, heart skipping a beat a little at Naoya’s soft chuckle that he breathed against the shell of your ear. Naoya did not want to admit it, but he finds this subconsciously clingy side of you quite endearing. Whilst he hates it when others touch him, even if they grazed him by accident; he does not mind it when it’s you.

Maybe he has gone a little insane after marriage. 

After you’ve managed to gather your wits, you quietly pulled away from him before you reached back to grab the wash towel you had grabbed from earlier, Naoya curiously opened one of hi eyes when you shifted against his chest. Just having you pressed up against his chest, along with the warm water surrounding him had lulled him into a tranquil and sleepy state. But he didn’t stop you as you wet the wash towel before you carefully lathered his body wash into the fabric. 

Quietly you started to wash his body like you would usually every night, yet this time it was a little different since now you were in the bath with him. Something that he has never really allowed before, since he views his bath time as his personal time. You would usually help him bathe before you leave the bathroom to prepare for bed and whatever wifely duties you need to fulfil for the night. 

But if you were being honest, as you carefully washed your husband clean, you did not mind a change to your routine. Yet you did not voice your inner thoughts as you continue gliding your hands over Naoya’s arms, making sure to keep quiet to give him the silence he enjoys whenever he’s in the bath. However, Naoya was in the mood to talk today. 

Whilst you were carefully washing his chest, Naoya’s hands started to wander along your body once more once more. “So, what did you get up today whilst your husband was out at work?”

You blinked up at your husband curiously, to which he just raised an eyebrow in response at the look you threw his way. “Can a husband not know what his wife gets up to when he slaves away at his desk?,” Naoya asks with a soft raise of his brow, his words causing you to widen your eyes as you shake your head immediately. Not wanting him to think that you’re questioning his authority. “O-Of course not! I-I just...thought...you’d like some quiet in your alone time..”

A soft sigh was your only response, to which you awkwardly looked away from your husband’s eyes to stare at his hard chest; worried that you’ve angered the man. “You know...I want to hear about your day too,” Naoya mumbles after a few tensed seconds of silence, a finger gently crocking under your chin to coax your eyes to look up at him. He did not have a smile on his serious face, yet there was a soft look shining in his usually hard eyes. “I get curious sometimes when I have time to breath...what does my beautiful wife do at home when I am away? Does she miss me? Does she take the free time she gets to pretend that she is not my wife? What could you be possibly be doing when I am away from home..?”

When you heard his words, you tilted your head softly as you scanned his face, trying to understand the meaning behind his message. He wasn’t dumb - he was more than aware of the whispers of the maids that thought he was not around, how people feel bad for you that you are married to a man like him. He honestly doesn’t care what others have to say about him - he never cared about what others have to say about him. Because he knows that when they need power or need something to get done, they will always turn to him with fake smiles and praise dripping from their tongues.

However, he was genuinely worried about you - he was worried that the whispers of his past will start to scare you away. Make you think that you are an idiot for marrying a man like him, and slowly but surely take you away from him. For once he was worried that you are going to leave him, because for once in his life, he finally understand what it truly means to be home. The very thought of you leaving him shakes him down to his very core, and he will do everything in his power to prevent that from becoming his reality.

“I don’t...think like that, you know.”

Your soft voice snapped his train of thought as he glances back into your eyes, blinking when your soft hands rest against his cheeks gently with a soft smile gracing your features. “I knew the type of man you were before you came to my family estate that day, and I have heard of all the rumours of your attitude even whilst you were courting me. But that didn’t change my decision because I genuinely enjoyed having you around.”

Your words had Naoya widening his eyes as his mind went blank at your confession. And seeing your usually stoic and arrogant husband looking stunned had you giggling as your thumbs started to stroke at his high cheekbones. “Yes, you may be a little colder and stricter then I am used to, but you are still a good man. You’ve been nothing but a good husband to me, and far from the rumours paint you to be. So don’t worry too much about my thoughts on our marriage, because I am nothing but happy to be your wife.”

Quietly you gently tugged his face close, resting his forehead against yours with a smile. “I know that you grew up in a different world from I did, and that you were brought up with different morals from mine. But I also know you’re trying for me, and that is more than enough for me at the end of the day.” You mumble softly, revealing to him that you were more observant than you let on. Yet you faked ignorance for his sake because you genuinely cared for him as a person. “Because at the end of the day, a wife is knows all of her husband’s sides the best.”

For once Naoya was completely stunned into silence, having never expected for you to be so candid about your feelings. Your response to his stunned silence was a quiet giggle as you lean forward to press a soft kiss against the tip of his nose. The feeling of your warm and soft lips snapped him back into reality, and upon realising how close you were, his pale cheeks flushed up from embarrassment. Immediately one of his hands pulled itself away from where they were resting against your bare hips to cover his cheeks with the back of his hand, eyes darting away as he leans away from you immediately.

“I-I want to get out of the bath now...”

You let out a giggle at the sight of your husband so out of character, yet you made no other comment as you nodded with a smile. “Lets get ready for bed then, my love,” You hummed out as you carefully got out to grab the towels for the both of you, biting back your smile at how cute you find him to be as you dried yourself before you did the same for him. 

It was only later into the night, long after you’ve fallen asleep when Naoya really calmed down. You had long fallen asleep, face tucked away underneath his chin whilst your arms wrapped around him loosely. He knows he needed to sleep in order to function properly tomorrow, but his mind has been racing the moment you two got out of the bath to prepare for bed together.

He still cannot wrap his head around the idea that you willingly stay, even knowing that there is a chance you might see a less ideal version of himself. You choose to stay knowing all of the rumours about him and his, admittedly, horrendous behaviour and morals. And whilst he does not know what was it that he did that had you landing in his life, he is 100% sure he will never let you go.

Quietly he presses a soft kiss against the top of your head, a soft but content sigh leaving his lips as he closes his eyes to try and get some sleep before his alarm would go off later. Signaling to a start of another long and boring day away from you once more. 

“You’re the best thing that has happened to me,” He mumbles softly into the quiet bedroom, a soft admission to you whilst you’re far away in dreamland, dreaming of things unknown to him. But the least he can pray for is that he wouldn’t become the enemy in your nightmares.

Because at the end of the day, it’s a husband’s duty to protect the happiness of their wife from the evils of the world. Even if the biggest evil in their lives is themselves. As long as he is your husband, you will have nothing to fear.

He will make sure of it.

© roscgcld — all rights reserved to me, rose, the author and creator of these works. do not repost/translate/claim my work as yours on any platform.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

hello!!can you do a part two of your Yandere!Tommy x Reader x Yandere!Tubbo Headcanons/Fic ?! i loved it!!

It amazes me how this became a fan favourite OVERNIGHT like daaaaamn!

This one is gonna be split into parts around the end, so like what happens if you choose Tubbo/Tommy/Neither/Both

(f/l) = first letter of your name

(N/n) = nickname

(f/f) = Favourite flowers

Eggpire does not exist

ALSO. The last Route (Neither) I wrote is shorter because apparently, Tumblr wants to crash after you surpass 10k words, but I could write a continuation fic of Neither that might turn into another x reader? Just platonic? Not sure. Remember, I will always write a continuation of a fic if ever asked.

TW: Yandere, Explosions, Burns, Scars, Manipulation, Mention of Painkillers and being drowsy on them, brief mention of collapsing

Part one

Yandere!Tommy x GN!Reader x Yandere!Tubbo Headcanon/Fic Part 2

Tommy was furious to see you spending time with anyone that wasn’t him.

But seeing you having an early morning coffee with Ranboo??? Tubbo’s husband???

He was about to light the damn house on fire he was so pissed! That’s not even exaggerating, he would’ve and had you live with him! Although he wouldn’t let you know he did it.

Poor Ranboo was trembling so bad, genuinely fearing for his canon lives.

You quickly got up and stood in Tommy’s sight, prevent him from glaring at your tall friend, although he still didn’t look happy.

Before anyone could say anything else, Tubbo stormed through the door with his sword in his hand and teeth violently grit together.

“So... You weren’t trying to throw me off by writing about going to see them in your memory book,” Tubbo growled softly at his husband causing Ranboo to desperately pull his memory book closer to his chest, tears brimming his eyes. You could understand why, his best friend went through his memory book without his knowledge and possibly went through his other things in an attempt to figure out what he was doing.

“I guess neither of you are loyal...” Tommy grumbled with a roll of his eyes, causing Tubbo to give him a hard jab in the ribs, “Ow! Bloody hell, mate! I’m just saying both of you are going for them without even breaking up first!”

“It’s platonic!” Both Tubbo and Ranboo stated although Ranboo’s voice came out as a tiny and meek protest, rather than Tubbo’s annoyed growl. Clearing his throat awkwardly, Ranboo put his crown back on his head, “I’m-I’m not interested in chasing them, so no... I was just talking to them...” He visibly shrank in on himself as the two boys glared darkly at him, “I... Should go...”

“Hold up.” You pointed at him, making the tall and lanky male stay seated in his spot while you turned back to Tubbo and Tommy, “I know why Ranboo is here. I know why he,” You pointed to Tommy, “Is here. He always kicks down my door early in the morning to do some crazy things. But why are you here?” Moving your finger to point at Tubbo, you noticed his look immediately softened upon you turning your attention towards him.

His cheeks became a light pink and his goat ears fluttered slightly as he put his sword away, “Am I not allowed to visit?” There. There was one of the mood switches and manipulation Ranboo warned you about. “Tommy invited me to L’Manberg, and I heard my beloved platonic husband was in the area as well. Plus Tommy left the door open.”

You blinked a bit, caught off guard by the fact that Tubbo completely brushed over the fact that he was here because he had read Ranboo’s memory book, “Oh, I see... Then shall we all go mining today? We’d be able to get a lot more ores than before!” You smiled, pretending that your two friends didn’t kick down your door and threaten the man who was just trying to protect you.

“With Tubbo and Ranboo?” Tommy growled out in disgust at the thought of you spending time with them, “But (Y/n)! We always go mining on Thursday mornings! It’s our thing. Between just US! Aka, not Tubbo and Ranboo...”

“I- uh, have a meeting with Techno and Phil later today, so I can’t go. Sorry, (Y/n)...” Ranboo murmured, although you could tell by the shakiness of his voice that he wanted nothing more than to run and hide in his panic room.

“I’d love to go!” Tubbo chirped softly, ignoring the audible noise of disgust and annoyance that Tommy made, “Let me just get my stuff from my enderchest.” He walked over to your enderchest and opened it. You didn’t mind too much as you gave everyone full permission to make themselves at home in your house, but you were just a bit shaken up at the moment.

Ranboo quickly got up and scurried out the door, giving you an odd look as he passed by. He looked... Guilty, but his smile was sad and soft, but seemingly affectionate. You knew he would help if these two were scaring you too much.

The two boys brought you to an unpopular mine in the DreamSMP that was filled to the brim with ores.

They were quick to take down any and all mobs that came within any sort of distance to you, recklessly charging without a second thought in attempts to protect you.

While there was intense amounts of fear and tension circling through your veins because of this morning, you did quickly grow to have fun with the banter between these two.

Even Tommy and Tubbo were having fun bickering, almost seeming to forget the fact that they were in a war with each other. Almost.

The constant fluttering of their hearts and warmth on their cheeks was an easy reminder of what they were fighting for.

Every single ore, gemstone and pretty rock that you looked at, the boys would immediately pick up and put in their bags so you didn’t have to carry it.

When Tommy began to whine about being hungry, you wanted to go back to the surface to eat the food you had packed, but they both thought that was too far.

So, you suggested sitting down in the abandoned mineshaft you had discovered.

“Ooh!” Tubbo squeaked, his ears wiggling as he turned the corner of the mineshaft, “There’s a ravine over here! Let’s eat by the light of the lava so we don’t waste all our torches!”

“Finally! I’m starving!” Tommy tossed his ore-filled bag off of his shoulder and set it against the wall. Once you spread out the thick blanket you had brought on the ground, he plopped himself down and set down his shield and sword, “What do you have for food today, Big/Little (F/l)?”

You hummed as Tubbo sat himself down on the other side of you with a yawn, likely not used to getting up early, “I have... Sandwiches, some fruit slices, berries, y’know, the usual. You tired, Tubbo?” Glancing over at the brunet, you saw him rubbing his eyes with the long sleeve of his brown and yellow striped sweater that you had made him when he first travelled to Snowchester.

“Little bit, yeah. Can I lay against you? Just for a little bit?” He asked softly as you handed Tommy a sandwich, which he practically inhaled in seconds. Once you gave a nod of approval, the smaller boy laid down and curled up with his head against your lap.

Tommy grumbled in annoyance and without thinking much, laid down as well with his head against your leg too. When you gave him a small questioning look as this was highly out character for him, but he simply just mumbled about how you were definitely more comfortable than the rocks.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there, unconsciously playing with their hair as you glanced around the stone walls for any untouched ores, but by now both boys were asleep and you didn’t feel like waking them up. Taking your time, you began to consider your situation now that you knew both boys were smitten with you and practically willing to hurt anyone who came in contact with you.

Tubbo’s mood switches scared you, a lot, and you were worried that him being the nice and blushing boy you had met a few years ago was nothing but an act and that all the gifts were an attempt to lure you in or distract you from his violent tendencies. You had watched him walk into your house, eyes blank and filled with rage towards his platonic soulmate for talking to you without his knowledge, and you were worried that soon that rage would be directed at you for doing something he didn’t like.

Tommy’s violent tendencies were just as scary though, so he wasn’t in the clear in your eyes either. While he did shape up a lot from when you first met, he still had a tendency to bark insults at you and hurt your feelings, which you hope is unintentional. He also often tried to threaten people and keep them away from you, like Eret or Niki who got yelled at and a tad bit injured after they had given you gifts or offered to bring you somewhere cool... They didn’t really spend time with you anymore after that... You missed them and didn’t want the same thing to happen to Ranboo.

But, this couldn’t go on forever. You couldn’t just run... and you knew very well that rejecting either of the two would cause the other to lash out severely, to the point where the one you chose, you, and your friends were in major trouble. It’s not like you could choose both right? ...Right? Then again... Choosing both would potentially cause tension to stir up again between the two best friends.

Your train of thought was violently derailed when you heard a hard thud a few meters in front of you. With a small gasp, you looked up and saw a creature of varying different shades of green slowly looking around before a few more thuds followed behind it. Before you could even think of waking the two boys, the green creature began to run at you quickly with its four legs.

A creeper.

A terrified cry left your lips and suddenly the weight on your lap vanished. Now awake, Tommy immediately grabbed his shield and used it alongside his body weight to slam into the creeper backwards into a small horde of zombies that had dropped down with it. “Get up you dumbass! Are you tryin’ to die?!” The blond yelled at you as Tubbo, who had also sprung up at the sound of your fear, began firing arrows at the group of mobs.

Once you got over your shock, you grabbed your axe and shield before quickly jumping to your feet and charging into battle. The zombie you had chosen to fight gurgled and swiped and gnashed its teeth together at you as you used your shield to block its hits. Backing up a few steps, you slashed your axe at the undead mob and took out its bottom jaw with the black blade, gleaming with an enchantment that set the creature on fire. The smell of burning rotten flesh caused you to gag and scrunch up your nose before you used your shield to shove it into the pit of lava at the bottom of the ravine.

Laughing softly in triumph, you turn around to help Tubbo and Tommy, only to let out another gasp of shock as you saw the very creeper that had been shoved away earlier had now returned with a vengeance. And it was mere inches away from your face.

There wasn’t much you could do except barely raise your shield in time to block a good majority of the explosion from damaging your body, launching chunks of stone outwards and off the edge of the ravine. 

And you as well.

“(Y/n)!!!” Tubbo’s voice echoed through the stone cavern as you felt yourself get launched backwards before beginning to fall, gravity quickly beginning to grasp onto you and drag you down towards the lava below.

Reaching out, to grab onto anything that would stop you from falling, but to no avail. Your mind barely registered Tommy and Tubbo running towards you before you shut your eyes tightly, silently praying to whatever or whoever to save you.

Then you stopped dead in the air, something wrapped around your arms and hands.

Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes and looked up to see the human and a goat hybrid that had been laying with their heads in your lap just minutes ago, were now desperately grasping one arm each, preventing you from falling to the end of one of your canon lives. Both of their blue eyes were filled with tears that were dripping down their faces and hitting the molten rock at the bottom of the ravine as they struggled to pull you up.

Once you felt the solid ground below you, you finally managed to take a few breaths to calm yourself down as you felt tight arms wrap around you on either side, barely able to comprehend the sobs of terror from your savours. The dull burning and throbbing pain on your cheek were enough to bring you down to reality and carefully wrap your arms around the two wailing teens as they desperately clung to you, almost as if you were going to vanish right below their fingertips.

Tommy was the first to gather himself and pull himself away from your good shoulder and rub his eyes free of tears to look at the new injuries covering your body and your busted armour, “F-fuck... We’re gonna have to get you to Phil to get those burns patched up...” He sniffled, trying to act like he wasn’t just bawling his eyes out over you nearly losing a canon life. For once, he didn’t seem to mind Tubbo clinging onto you and wailing into your side as you pet his hair, trying to calm him down. 

Tubbo refused to let go of you for the next hour as you travelled out of the mine, his arms desperately wrapped around your waist/shoulders. (Depending on your height)

Tommy also held onto your non-burnt hand, that once held your shield, as he carried yours and his bag, leading you both back the way you came

If another mob came out to fight, it was almost a guarantee that one of them would run forward and the other would lightly push you into a corner, then proceed to block you from view via a shield and their body,

Even if you thought that you were in a decent enough condition to fight, the one shielding you would only look at you sadly and shake their head, saying something about the explosion burns along your (s/t) skin.

Once you had gotten out of the mine, it was around 6pm, and the sun was going down, but luckily Tommy had sent a message to Philza, his father, about the situation, so he was prepared and already at Tommy’s house, which was the closest to the mine.

It wasn’t a long walk, but god you were so exhausted..

It got to the point where Tommy and Tubbo were on either side of you, preventing you from collapsing before you got to the home.

Let’s just say, when they opened the door, Philza was already there and immediately panicked upon seeing the injuries covering the one side of you and the state of your armour. (No you were not wearing the god armour Tubbo gave you.)

One of your cheeks and lower jaw were burnt and bleeding, along with your dominant arm and leg that weren’t behind the shield when the explosion went off.

Tommy Route - Mellohi

Because your home still being near L’Manberg and the Prime Path (In this route), it was easier for Tommy to check up on you while you were healing from your injuries.

While you were bedridden, Tommy was a lot, a lot, quieter when he came into your house, never sure whether or not you were sleeping.

If you weren’t, he would eagerly show you something he found, tell you some drama he heard around the area, or tell you about his day. Or just play Mellohi on constant repeat.

If you were asleep, he would silently walk over and check on your bandages or potion supply, (updating Phil if you were low or bleeding from moving too much), or even sit beside you for a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t just stop breathing out of nowhere.

To say he was scared your entire recovery process would be an understatement.

He would rarely let anyone but Phil check on you, definitely nearly blowing his nerve when Ranboo or Tubbo would walk into your house.

If it was Ranboo, we would definitely get picked up and thrown,

If it was Tubbo, he would try and push him out because he knew that threats wouldn’t work on him.

In the situation that he did push Tubbo out, Tommy would immediately lock the door and stay in there for the next few days

For the more likely situation, because we all know how stubborn that goat is, and he wasn’t able to push Tubbo out, Tommy would subtly put a few drops of the sleeping potion Phil made you, into your drink.

When you began to doze off, Tommy would mention it to Tubbo in the most serious voice he could muster. It always worked, because Tubbo wanted what was best for your health.

The absolute minute that Philza deems you stable enough to get off of bed rest, Tommy is by your side in seconds and trying to encourage you to stand up.

When you do get the nerve to try and stand again, he would immediately be holding your good arm, preventing you from falling if your bad leg suddenly gave out.

In the case that you do collapse from your injuries, he would at first be extremely panicked, but then he’d start calling you insulting names and calling you an idiot.

He would bring you on walks all around the DreamSMP to get you used to walking again but would have no problems sitting down again.

That’s a lie.

He would complain a little bit, but if he saw you were genuinely in a lot of pain, he would just shut up and awkwardly ask what he could do.

If you needed anything for pain, he would straight up run to your home and get it, if they already didn’t have it.

The fact that you’re spending so much time with Tommy absolutely infuriates Tubbo, and he tries to guilt-trip you into spending more time with him.

But then Ranboo tells him that you can barely walk down the Prime Path without wanting to cry from the pain of the burns, and he offers to move back to L’Manberg. Or at least what’s left of it.

This sparks an argument between Ranboo and Tubbo almost immediately, but you’re much too tired to try and stop it, instead quietly asking Tommy if he can help go back to your home or to get them out so you could sleep.

He would be glad to.

Like he would do it, with an absolute goofy smile on his face because he basically gets your permission to have your attention all to himself!

When you’re all healed, your relationship between you and Tommy has practically tripled from what it was.

You’re much closer to him than he was to Tubbo, to the point where he has told you everything.

Even about his exile...

Because of your closeness to him, he somehow got even more protective but also calmed down his threats.

Like, now you could talk to Niki and Eret again, but you were not allowed to leave your house at night alone, especially after mobs have spawned.

Hell sometimes if he’s really paranoid, he’ll go to your house and spend the night just to make sure mobs don’t bang on your door or ruin anything.

He straight up took the time out of his life to fence the property around your house off and fill it with torches so things didn’t spawn in.

Sure he’ll call you slightly insulting names, but he makes sure that they wouldn’t be too painful for you before saying them aloud.

Tubbo still tries to be nice and manipulative, which Ranboo tries to stop, but it’s pretty much worthless at this point.

He’s lost.

He knows it, Ranboo knows it, and Tommy damn well brags about it.

Tubbo does end up crying to you quite a bit about it, but you can understand, he’s heartbroken at this point and can’t do anything about it. Tommy and you know about his manipulation tactics, he couldn’t take Tommy’s last life because it would show up on your communicator, and then you would never love him!

Unfortunately, this does cause him to lash out at Ranboo quite a lot which led to their third divorce. Although this one seems quite a bit more permanent, you never know. (Ranboo took Michael)

One evening, Tommy invited you out of the house oddly enough. Even though mobs would be spawning soon? It greatly confused you.

He even asked you to wear nicer clothing? Like a tux or a dress? Either one or both worked in his eyes.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how you were supposed to fight mobs in a fancy outfit, but you trusted him.

“Tommy?” You asked, opening the door as you smoothed out your clothing with your hands and adjusted your hair a tad bit to your liking. It was shocking to see the tall blond nicely cleaned up and wearing a suit, but it was quite a welcome sight!

He nervously adjusted his red tie before holding out a bouquet of perfect (f/f), and cleared his throat, “You... Uh... Clean up nice. I- uh... No- wait... What did Sam say again?” He murmured to himself, “Ah fuck it... You look nice, (Y/n).”

You chuckled as your cheeks flushed a light pink, happily taking the bouquet filled with your favourite flowers, “I’ll put these in a vase and then we can go where you wanna bring me.” With a smile, you quickly placed the flowers in a glass vase filled with water before going back out with Tommy.

“Sh-shall we? Is that a common phrase to say?” He asked as he held out his arm for you to link with his, a habit he picked up from walking you around while you were healing.

“I suppose we shall. Calm down Tommy, no need to be all fancy and stuff around me.” You chirped with a small smiled as you took his arm, linking it with his, “Now, are you going to tell me where we’re going? Or is this supposed to remain a mystery?”

Tomathy visibly relaxed once you told him he didn’t have to be all professional and fancy, beginning to lead you down the Prime Path, “It’s a secret! I worked hard on it too! So you better be grateful or I’ll kick your ass.” He jokingly threatened, smiling a bit as you laughed at his typical attitude.

He led you down the wooden path, the two of you joking the entire way with a goofy smile across your faces. Tommy then took a sudden turn onto a newly made pathway and lead you down it, never answering any questions about it the entire way, even when the buildings turned into a forest. The pathway was lined with fences, and the trees were filled with small hanging lanterns, not only preventing mobs from spawning but also creating a beautiful fairy forest effect.

Seeing your look of awe, he gave a small sheepish laugh, “You like it? Puffy and Sam helped me out with it for the past few days, but this was my idea! And this isn’t even the best part!” He grinned widely before quickly pulling you along again.

The walk wasn’t very long, but it was extremely beautiful. Eventually, he brought you up to a large hill with a massive oak tree where a beautiful picnic was set up, surrounded by lantern light. Even with the lanterns, you were still able to get a clear view of the starry sky above without a single cloud in sight! “Oh my god... Tommy... This is incredible...”

“Innit? Puffy helped me make all the food, but this was my idea. Unless you don’t like it. Then it was Puffy’s idea.” He joked in an attempt to hide his nervousness as he went to ruffle his hair, but then remembered that he had spent a few hours taming it down, so he decided against it.

“I love it! This is so beautiful!” You looked up at him with a bright and happy smile, making him return it with a soft smile of his own, “Come on, oh! There’s a jukebox!” You eagerly pulled him over to the blanket and sat down, taking a look at all the food that had been set out.

The tall male happily took a disc, Mellohi to be precise, out of the enderchest that had been set beside the jukebox, neatly placing it in and pressing the button to make the music play before he sat down beside you. The two of you began to eat the meal that he helped make, joking, laughing and smiling the entire time, having the time of your life. You leaned your head against his shoulder and smiled up at him as you gently held his hand, making him realize even more how important you were to him.

Mellohi, the same song he lost his friend to, was the same song he was listening to while gaining a new important person in his life. You.

The entire night went on with you two eventually falling asleep at the top of the hill, completely unaware of the brown-haired male leaning against a tree. He desperately grasped his shirt where his heart was as tears poured down his shirt.

Tubbo always liked Cat more than Mellohi...

=

Tubbo Route - Don’t Let Me Fall

Tubbo was so so glad that he had managed to convince (manipulate) you to live in Snowchester when he did. (In this route)

Somehow managed to convince you to live in the mansion, although it was probably done when you were drowsy on the pain killer potion Phil gave you.

This man would completely ignore his own country to make sure you were well taken care of. Like Ranboo literally had to step into power and start working on things and taking care of Michael.

Speaking of the baby zombie piglin, because you were now bedridden and bored out of your mind, Tubbo frequently brought the child in if Ranboo absolutely demanded that he take over for a bit.

The baby absolutely adored you! The injuries on your body reminded you of the ones he got when he travelled to the overworld, so he didn’t feel alone.

Unfortunately because of your constant pain and drowsiness, Tubbo thought it was best that he stayed in his room. Or maybe that was because he didn’t want him getting close to you too?

It was actually extremely rare for Tubbo to let anyone in to visit you. He actually even got incredibly annoyed when even Phil would come over to restock the potions for you or make sure your wounds were healing.

On a normal day, if you were awake, Tubbo would be blabbering on about some story without a care whether or not you were listening. He would most likely be acting the story out as if it were a play, determined to provide you with as much entertainment by himself as he could.

If you were sleeping, he would also be sleeping, although on a few chairs pushed together in your room. There’s a rare time where he will stay up and watch you to make sure you’re breathing still, but that’s only if he’s really scared and paranoid.

Tommy absolutely REFUSES to even look at Snowchester, so you never really got a chance to thank him for saving you. 

Although... Tubbo very actively tries to convince you that Tommy didn’t even come to help you when you had fallen and that you had been in shock so that’s why you didn’t remember correctly.

At first, you didn’t believe him, but eventually, with constant repetition, you slowly saw it as the truth. You genuinely began to believe that Tommy hadn’t pulled you up and that it was only Tubbo that did.

After quite a few weeks, Phil told Tubbo that you could finally get out of bed, but Tubbo asked him if he was 100% sure MANY times.

The goat hybrid actually didn’t want you to get out of bed and start walking again, worried that you get up would leave him, so he wasn’t going to tell you.

But Ranboo was the one who told you.

This led to quite a violent argument between Ranboo and Tubbo, but there was nothing Tubbo could do since you already knew the information he tried to keep from you.

Tubbo started ignoring you, so Ranboo was the one to try and get you used to walking around again, but this lead to the shorter male getting extremely jealous and helping you instead.

He frequently walks you around Snowchester on a strict set schedule, when he knows no one will be out and no mobs will be spawning.

One time, he didn’t expect Tommy to be walking around the snowy forests when he was walking with you, holding your hand to make sure you didn’t lose your balance. At least that’s what he told you.

Tommy looked... Empty, when he saw you both walking together. But his eyes darkened a bit when his blue eyes landed on your hands twinned together.

Tubbo looked a little hostile in your eyes, but he simply just gave Tommy a sharp smile before trying to pull you along as if he didn’t notice the tears beginning to pool in his ex-best friend’s eyes.

Tommy knew he lost right then and there, so he decided to say fuck it and start screaming degrading names at the two of you, catching you greatly off guard, hurting you badly enough to the point where your feelings were more than a little hurt.

When the founder of Snowchester realized that the blond hurt your feelings, he was quick to lash out back at the other man in your defence, but by then you were already walking away, back to the manor.

It took about ten minutes for him to realize that you went back to the mansion, but when he did, he sprinted through the door in an absolute panic before practically pouncing on you the second his eyes caught sight of you.

He protectively wrapped himself around you and whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you quietly rested your head against his shoulder.

After that, You and Tubbo became a lot closer emotionally. To the point where he called you his platonic wife jokingly, although you both knew he didn’t want to add platonic at the beginning.

He began to tell you about everything that weighed heavy on his shoulders, like his death from Technoblade’s fireworks, even to being threatened by Dream during the disc war.

When he noticed that you were genuinely beginning to care about him, his manipulation and jealousy actually began to calm down quite a lot.

You could actually spend time with Michael and Ranboo without anyone getting yelled at by Tubbo and causing him to get ridiculously jealous.

He began to take over his job as the founder of Snowchester, now actually trusting Ranboo to keep you company and even letting him take you outside during the day. But he refused to let you out during the night.

He’s just worried about mobs. Creepers especially.

Everything seems relatively like it was before that one day before Tommy and Tubbo completely lashed out at each other.

Tommy does often try and talk to you when Tubbo isn’t around, but both you and Ranboo try and put a stop to it as quickly as possible,

He’s lost.

He hurt you, and Ranboo couldn’t help but miss how Tubbo used to be, so if keeping Tommy away from you makes Tubbo act normal, he will damn well make sure that Tommy stays countries away from you.

This does cause Wilbur’s younger brother to break down a little bit, which you can genuinely understand, even if you hold a grudge against him for not saving you and yelling at you, you knew he did have feelings for you at one point even if he refused to admit it.

Unfortunately, this does cause quite a bit of pranks and explosions to stir up around Snowchester and the L’Manberg crater, but they stop within a few weeks. Tommy probably got scolded by either Sam, Phil or Puffy,

One morning, Tubbo invited you to spend a day outside of the mansion with him after a heavy snowfall.

He spent almost all morning outside, doing something he refused to tell you about, and when he came in to wake you up, his face was already cherry red from the cold.

How could he even want to go back into the freezing cold without any sort of warm drink or even sitting in front of the fire for a bit!?

“How are you so... Full of energy?” You murmured from behind the bathroom door as you got changed into your warmer clothing for when you do go outside. The door was cracked open a small bit so you could hear Tubbo rambling on and on about how he had a great surprise for you.

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” He was obviously grinning with excitement. When you walked out of the bathroom in your thick clothing and jacket, he bounced up from his spot on the edge of your bed, “Finally! Let’s go! Hurry, before it snows or gets warmer.”

You only nodded curiously and he grabbed your hand, eagerly pulling you out of your room and down the large stairs that lead towards the door. He pushed the large doors open with a bit of difficulty due to the snow piled up, but with your help, you both managed to slip out the door. Tubbo happily grabbed your hand again and began leading you down towards the docks where the water was covered with a thick sheet of ice, “Oh it must’ve got really cold last night... What are you showing me?”

“Over here!” He pulled you over to a large half-sphere made out of snow. He led you over to a hole in the side of it before dropping down to his knees and crawling through the entrance, “Come on!”

Blinking in surprise, you hesitantly followed him inside of the handmade snow building and gave a small gasp of glee as you saw that it was an igloo! The inside had a few blankets on the ground, preventing you from sitting on the icy snow-covered ground, there were a few lanterns placed on small snow hills preventing the small room from being dark, plus there was a small basket of what looked like two thermoses and a bit of food, “Tubbo! Did you build this?”

“I did! I also spent last night building it too!” He grinned widely, his ears wiggling with glee, “But this isn’t even the best part! Check over here!” The brunet shuffled over to another basket before pulling out a pair of white boots with silver blades bolted to the bottoms.

“Ice skates?” You tilted your head a bit as you crawled over and pulled out the pair that looked to be your size, “But I can’t skate...”/”How did you even know I could skate?”

Tubbo only turned his happy grin towards you, “I’ll show you how! Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall!”/”You briefly mentioned that you missed skating once or twice when you were all dopey on painkillers a few months ago!” He pulled out his pair of skates and began to take off his boots. (After getting his skates on he helped you with yours if you didn’t know how to lace them up.)

Once your new footwear was all tied up, he helped you up and carefully lead you outside with his arms tightly wrapped around you to help you keep your balance. (Even if you did know how to skate, he was still worried about you falling.) Tubbo carefully led you towards the ice and helped you stand up straight on the frozen water, making sure that you wouldn’t fall.

“See?” He smiled softly and held your hands tightly as he began to skate backwards, pulling you along with him until you slowly got a hold of what you were doing. “You (still) got it!”

You two slid and slipped around on the ice, laughing, smiling and spinning around with the other, but suddenly out of nowhere, your blade got caught in a groove of the ice that likely got chipped out when you two were skating around. With a small cry, you felt your legs slip out from under you and you immediately shut your eyes, awaiting the inevitable impact as a result of gravity.

Thankfully, two arms wrapped around your frame before you hit the ground. You slowly cracked open your eyes and saw your best friend holding you tightly against him. Your (e/c) eyes stared into his blue ones for a few moments before your face broke into a smile. “You caught me...”

“I would never let you fall...”

There two of you continued to skate around, having fun in the other's presence, completely unaware of the blond hidden behind a snowbank with his hand clasped tightly over his mouth and tears beginning to freeze to his reddened cheeks.

Tommy often found himself wishing he had let you fall...

=

Tommy & Tubbo Route - Rhythm of the Storm

Because your original housing was set between Snowchester and the Prime Path, it was surprisingly an equal distance between Tubbo’s mansion and Tommy’s house.

In the beginning, Tommy would go to your house first in the mornings, then leave around noon when Tubbo would come, but the constant social interaction left you always sleeping through either one of their visits.

It got to the point where you asked both of them to come by at the same time so you could talk with them both at the same time.

This caught them both off guard that you wanted both of their attention at the same time, but then only began to see benefits from them meeting with you together.

Now you weren’t out cold during the mornings when Tommy opened the door, and now you weren’t asleep by 2pm when Tubbo was over. Plus they could both take care of you at the same time!

There were a few times when either of the boys’ yandere tendencies peaked out, but you or the other would scold them out of it. Or Tommy would give Tubbo a small smack upside the head which would make him scream dramatically like a baby goat.

While they did take your injuries relatively seriously, they also were joking with you and cheered you up with their antics, preventing you from falling into a depression from staying inside all day and every day.

On a normal day, if you were awake and had more energy than normal, Tommy would be telling you incredible stories of his travels and Tubbo would be either making food or potions. Tommy isn’t allowed near the brewing stands or the stove anymore if you’re wondering.

On a bad day, if you barely had any energy and could barely stay awake, the two boys would be much quieter and let you sleep. On those days, they would ask Phil if you were actually okay, or they would go back to their respective homes.

If your burns are causing you immense amounts of pain one day, Tommy will refuse to even be in the same room as you and will genuinely beg Tubbo, Ranboo or Philza to stop your pain. Even if he doesn’t like others being around you, he’s beginning to accept Tubbo’s care towards you but he’s still wary about his father and Tubbo’s husband.

Speaking of, Ranboo and Michael had seemingly disappeared from Snowchester, but Phil assured you that they were both in the Tundra, (And to keep it a secret from Tubbo.)

On Phil’s latest visit, he told you that you could get up and out of bed without irritating the burns on your legs, although you might have trouble at first.

Upon hearing the news, Tubbo and Tommy were at your sides in seconds, asking if you wanted to get up and encouraging you to try. If you didn’t want to, they (mostly Tubbo) would understand about it and leave you to sit on the fact for a bit.

If you did, Tubbo would be at your injured side to make sure your bandages stayed together when you got up, while Tommy would be on your good side and mostly holding you up if your balance was bad enough.

Tubbo wanted to help you walk around at night, just in case you were self-conscious of your burns, but Tommy was too worried about any sort of mob approaching you. While they knew they could protect you, they just didn’t want to take any risks.

Tubbo will burst out crying after he hears an explosion, meanwhile, Tommy will freeze completely still. Which is also what happened during the mining incident that caused you to get injured, which is why Tubbo was the one to scream and continue to cry long after they had saved you.

Because of this, they don’t want to face a creeper with you around to see them panic and be in danger while they struggled to get themselves together.

When you’re out walking around, Tubbo is extremely patient and Tommy at least tries to hold his complaints. 

If someone even looks at you wrong, they’ll have an angry raccoon boy yelling threats at them and Tubbo drawing his sword. They usually run with their tails between their legs afterwards.

If you collapsed on the walk from the pain, the amount of panic that would happen would be enough to have every single parental figure in the SMP running to help you. Luckily when it did happen, Badboyhalo was there and was strong enough to carry you without irritating your burns, and even gave a few pointers on how to help with burns. He had to raise Sapnap. He would know.

When you woke up at your home, you saw Tubbo and Tommy actually having a civil conversation with the large 9ft demon rather than threatening him to get away from you. That could've been because he was a demon though. But you were still proud!

You guessed that they still thought you were asleep when Bad left because you heard them murmuring and trying to keep quiet as they most likely made lunch.

Because of their conversation with Bad, and proving to you that they can actually behave themselves, you began to realize that their Yandere tendencies were calming down a lot. Meaning you weren't scared of them that much anymore, and you were beginning to accept their feelings towards you.

Unfortunately... You couldn't pick between them... And didn't know how open they would be to polyamory, but seeing as they weren't ripping each other's throats out, maybe their reactions wouldn't be too terrible?

Tubbo began to tell you about everything that bothered him, currently and formerly, like his death from Technoblade’s fireworks, even to being threatened by Dream during the disc war, or the nukes disappearing and his worry about whether or not Tommy cares about him.

Tommy also began to open up as well. Telling you about his brothers and father, his exile, his fear that Tubbo doesn't care about him anymore, and his third canon death.

After the two began to open up more, you began to realize they weren't being as clingy and desperate for your attention, most likely now trusting you to spend time with people other than them.

Maybe because they were catching on to you slowly beginning to return their feelings...

Everything seems relatively like it was before that one day before Tommy and Tubbo completely lashed out at each other.

A few weeks after your body became completely healed, the two boys spent a few days away from you, which you were curious about but never really commented on it.

One day when they both arrived at your house at their usual time, they were dressed up for an adventure and their bags were filled with everything that anyone would need.

They eagerly pulled you out of bed at some ungodly hour in the morning, although Tubbo thankfully had breakfast (and coffee) ready which you ate before going to get dressed into appropriate clothing and your god armour that Tubbo made, that was equipped with a new god sword that Tommy made you!

This was your first adventure since the explosion in the mine, and you damn well wanted to have fun.

"Okay, okay! Damn, Big Man, calm down!" You groaned as you threw the bag over your shoulders and tightened the straps accordingly. Once you tied up the laces on your boots, you straightened up and without fail, you felt both of your hands being grabbed before you got dragged out the door.

"We've been planning this for a few days! Nothing will stop us now!" Tubbo cheered, hopping along beside you as he held your scarred hand, "We have everything we could ever need for the next week!"

Your surprised reaction was ignored as Tommy continued dragging you down the Prime Path with a map in his free hand, "A whole week? That's quite a long adventure! Are you sure we'll be able to handle it?"

"Relax (N/n)! We were both raised by Philza Minecraft! Y'know, Survivalist extraordinaire? We know how to ration, build a shelter if needed, and everything in between!" Tubbo gave you a wide and cheesy grin as he spoke about the man who raised him, despite not actually being related to him. (Dadschlatt AU if you're wondering)

The three of you ventured off through many acres of forests and other biomes, holding hands and chatting away the entire time. Tommy let it slip that you were going to find buried treasure and maybe a woodland mansion if you were feeling brave enough, which is why he was always holding the map.

"Tommy, (Y/n)! Look!" Tubbo squeaked out happily as he saw a field of dozens of different flowers with bees hurriedly buzzing about to pollinate the plants around. The sight of the yellow and black bugs caused Tubbo to make happy little bleating sounds as his ears wiggled.

You and Tommy exchanged glances with a small smile, knowing very well you wouldn't be able to pull the hybrid away from them. "I suppose it is about time for a break..." You murmured as you were dragged off by the smaller brunet, thus pulling Tommy along as well.

The three of you sat down in the flower field, placing out a blanket to prevent yourselves from getting covered in dirt, despite knowing that it'll happen anyway. You set out the food Tubbo had packed while the two teenage boys ran around, having fun and, well just being teenagers.

Yes, Tommy got chased by bees.

Tubbo made you, himself and Tommy a flower crown, which you proudly wore, but Tommy was a bit more hesitant which you eventually made him get over by giving him a begging look. Yours was a bunch of (f/f) varying with colours, Tubbo's was a variety of yellows and white flowers, while Tommy's was mostly red and white.

While you three enjoyed your small picnic, you were all completely unaware of the fleeting bees, closing flowers and scattering animals. It was only when Tubbo's ears began to flick oddly did he lift his head, "I think there's a storm quickly approaching..."

You lifted your head and rose your arm to block the sun from your eyes to look at the quickly darkening clouds, "Oh damn, yeah we gotta go find shelter. Like now." You hurriedly grabbed your bag and began shoving the foot containers in it while Tommy and Tubbo packed everything else up too.

Despite your best efforts, you three quickly got caught in the downpour of rain and became absolutely drenched in rain by the time you found a small and shallow cave to hide in. "Aw fuck... Absolutely perfect! Sam said it wasn't gonna rain todaaaaay!" Tommy whined dramatically as he slumped against the stone wall.

You sighed and began pulling out the blanket again, knowing very well that you'd all be here for a while. When Tommy stopped whining about how he thought it was gonna be perfect weather, he helped Tubbo with starting a fire so you could all dry your sweaters that you had been wearing.

The two boys plopped down on the blanket on either side of you, Tommy hiding his head on your shoulder while Tubbo was curled up with his head against your lap, (After asking for permission of course) trying their best to drown out the sound of the sounds of the booming thunder.

After a few moments, you used the consistent pattern in the rain to keep beat before beginning to hum a soft tune while you ran your fingers through their damp hair.

Slowly, Tommy and Tubbo fell asleep, leaning against you while you hummed along to the rhythm of the storm...

=

Neither Route - Left the Game

Your house was quite out of the way from the Prime Path and Snowchester, in fact, quite possibly even closer to the Tundra. (In this route.)

Meaning that you were pretty far out of the way from everyone except for Ranboo, Phil and Techno. Which prevented both Tubbo and Tommy from coming around often, meaning Ranboo and Phil had to help you with a lot.

You felt bad because you didn't know either of them too, too well, but at least you knew you would definitely be getting better.

Ranboo actually had no problem helping you with your injuries, although he had to carefully write down what he gave you and when.

During your road to recovery, Ranboo and Tubbo's relationship became incredibly worse as the goat hybrid became even more manipulative and violent.

You became a personal therapist and babysitter for him and Michael, in return for him helping take care of you.

Speaking of Michael, the reason Ranboo hadn't joined you on the mining trip was because Phil had finished making a potion that would allow Michael to survive in the Tundra.

Tubbo and Tommy's violent habits had quickly doubled over the time when they couldn't see you, but luckily for you, the one time they did try to visit, Techno had come with Phil to meet you.

They ran out immediately.

Yes, Techno asked you about how you felt about anarchy.

Whether or not you joined the Syndicate is up to you.

Ranboo then told Techno and Phil about how Tubbo and Tommy were obsessed with you, and that your life was possibly in danger.

Technoblade only said that he had no way to help you, but Philza's fatherly instincts kicked in and he wanted to protect you both from the two boys he raised.

Once you got all healed up your burns scarred over, Phil and Ranboo already had an idea of how to keep you both and Michael safe.

It was highly risky and would leave you with only one life until you come back to the DreamSMP.

Phil was going to give you access to his Hardcore server.

Both you and Ranboo had a long and serious talk about it, but then remembered he was literally rich. He had dozens of totems!

Techno made you three totem pendants for you to wear around your necks, so you wouldn't always have to hold the totems.

(Philza asked his wife, Kristen the Goddess of Void and Death, to keep an extra close eye on you three and make sure if any of you do die, it's incredibly quick and painless.)

Standing in front of Phil, your bags filled with everything you would need to survive in the hardcore world, you watched as the centuries-old avian scanned you three up and down.

"I'll ask you both one final time." He sighed after he deemed all of your equipment and armour worthy. The blond fatherly figure stood in front of you and Ranboo as you held Michael with a glowing green orb in his hand, "Are you sure? There are no respawns when you run out of totems."

"Yes. It'll be much safer than the DreamSMP..." Ranboo murmured quietly, quickly scrawling as much as he could fit into his memory book before he forgot anything, "Even if it isn't permanent... We just need to run."

When Phil turned to you, you couldn't help but take a deep breath, "Yeah," You murmured, shifting the young piglin child on your hip, "I'm sure. Thanks again Philza... We really needed to be somewhere where they wouldn't find us..."

"I'll check up on you both once a week. Remember, travelling through servers will disorient you for quite a while and you quite probably won't understand where you are at first-"

"(Y/n)!!!" An angry yell came from the forest, and you turned your head just in time to see Tommy and Tubbo running in your direction.

You and Ranboo hurriedly whipped your head to face Phil again, but he seemed to have caught on before you both as there was a portal swirling with greens and golds beside him, "Go! Now! I'll see you both tomorrow! Remember, you can take anything you need to increase the chances of your survival!"

Ranboo got over his shock much quicker than you did because he grabbed your arm and leapt through the portal, bringing you and Michael along.

Ranboo Beloved left the game.

(Y/n) (L/n) left the game.

Michael Underscore-Beloved left the game.

[xtinyaurora]

Oh my gosh thank you for doing my ask. Reading Seonghwaart was soooo satisfying. Can you do y/n doesn't believe that they're sexually attractive, so Ateez proves to them that they are (sexually). Please and thank you 😊 ☺ ❤

Ateez reaction: Their Y/N doesn’t believe that they’re {sexually} attractive

————————————————————————

➼ requested?: yes

➼ genre: smut & fluff

➼ pairing: Ateez x female!reader

➼ Word-count: 2k+

➼ Warnings: nsfw content, strong language, cursing, spanking, mentions of scars & stretch marks, pet names, daddy kink / sie kink, nudes, reader kinda puts themself down, anal sex, chocking, oral sex, breeding kink (?)...

➼ Note: This is not based on their real behavior or meant to represent real life. This is simply a fan fiction and is only for the purposes of fun, it’s a hobby, so read at your own risk!

➼ A/N note: I hope I wrote this the way you wanted... Also, if anyone’s interested in a male version, let me know! All gif credits go to their owners!

————————————————————————

Park Seonghwa

You were standing Infront of the mirror, looking at your naked body, which was still a bit wet from the shower you took a few minutes ago. You were ashamed to say the least. You couldn’t understand what exactly Seonghwa found attractive about your body. You wanted to look good for him but you’re just a flat piece of a human being. As you were starting to build tears in your eyes, your boyfriend walked into your shared bedroom. „What’s wrong, baby?” He knew what was up, it’s not the first time he caught you crying over yourself. You shook your head not wanting to talk about it and grabbing your towel to cover yourself up. Hwa breathed out loudly, shaking his head. He then pulled the towel away, ignoring your protests. „Do you see this?” He grabbed your tits, slowly massaging them. „Do you see how perfect these are, how well they fit into my hands.” Then his head made its way to your right breast. He slowly started licking your nipple, it immediately getting hard. Out of nowhere he slapped your left breast with one of his hands. „You like that?” You silently nodded your head, a scoff left Seonghwas mouth. „Fucking shit you’re so hot. You don’t understand how you make me feel. How those pretty little tits could make me cum just from touching and slapping them like that, fuck.” Seonghwa then roughly threw you on the bed and started to undress himself...

Kim Hongjoong

„Say it, baby, come on.” You tried to get your breathing under control but Hongjoongs speed was too fast, the pleasure too much to take. „I - I, agh!” You couldn’t stop screaming moaning. „I know you can do it, come on.” His hips started to move faster than before, making it harder for you. You were so overwhelmed that tears started to form in your eyes. „I can’t-t.” A hard smack landed on your ass. „Yes you can and now say it!” Yelled your boyfriend from behind. He harshly pulled you up by grabbing your throat, making you face both of you in the mirror. „Tell me beautiful, tell me how breathtaking you look, I know you can do that for me, baby. Show daddy how much of a good girl you are.” You squeezed your eyes together, forcing those words out of your mouth. „I am beautiful.” Hongjoongs grip on your throat got stronger. „Open your eyes, princess.” You did what he said and opened your eyes, almost reaching your high. „J-Joong, I think I-.” „No, the fuck not. You’re not going to cum until you do what I asked you to.” You closed your eyes again, god. Hongjoong movements completely stopped, making you whine out loudly. „Look at yourself.” You pulled your eyebrows up, eyes getting rounder. „Do it!” Damn boy, chill out. As your were looking at yourself, Hongjoong slowly pulled out of you. Another whine left your mouth, not going unnoticed by him. „Look at this pretty pussy, all wet and all mine. Men, am I lucky. Oh and... those beautiful tits, this fucking cute ass, my god I am about to lose my shit. How am I so lucky to have all of this? I love you so fucking much Y/N. Don’t worry though, I will show you how beautiful you are. You wanna these tits to be bigger? Oh, don’t worry, can do that for you. I can’t wait to get you pregnant, you will look so beautiful with a round belly, fuck.”

Jeong Yunho

You two were currently play fighting over some food. Both of you thought it would be a good idea to visit the park and have a picnic today, since it’s finally warm and sunny again. You didn’t notice how far your skirt actually went up, when you jumped on your boyfriend. It wasn’t that short of a skirt, it covered more than 60% of your legs but it was loose, so it was easy to raise up. When Yunho gave you a smack on your ass, you were fast to sit back and pull it down again. Yunho looked at you questioning, you only shaking your head, hiding face. „Was that too much?” You immediately assured him that it wasn’t about that slap on your ass. „Then what’s wrong?” Again, you shook your head. The male then grabbed your face, making you look at him. „Baby, tell me.” You moved his hands from your face, lowering your gaze. „I just don’t feel comfortable with showing myself off, you know, my legs could be seen when I jumped on you.” When you looked back up to see his reaction, a smile was placed on his face. „Honey, you’re beautiful. Those pretty legs would turn on every men, no, even girls. You don’t know how much I wanna grab them and pull you over me, so you can ride my hard ass cock.” Your eyes torn open, a blush creeping on your face. A loud laugh left Yunho’s mouth, him staring to eat again as of nothing happened.

Kang Yeosang

When you read the massage your boyfriend sent you just a few seconds ago, you almost spitted out your drink. Now you had an incoming call... „Uhm, hello?” Silence. Then you heard heavy breathing. „Baby, please. I need you to do that for me, I can’t take it anymore, I need to release.” You didn’t know what to say, only blushing more. „Yeosang, you know how I feel about my body, I can’t jus-“ „Baby, don’t you understand that I need that beautiful hot body to cum? That you turn me on that much, that I only need to see you to cum. Fuck, please princess I need you. Please send me some nudes, it hurts. I promise once I get home, I will reward you, hm? How does that sound?” You nodded your head, even tho you knew he couldn’t see you. „Sounds Good.” A load moan left his mouth. „That’s my good little girl, now make daddy happy and take your close off so he can see those beautiful small tits, yea?” You bit bottom lip. „Yes, sir.”

Choi San

A loud whistle was heard when you walked into the living room. When you looked at the male, he bit his lip. „Damn, baby, look at those curves. Shit, come here, I wanna smack that ass.” You only stood there, shocked. San then raised one of his eyebrows. „What? Can’t I touch my girlfriend now?” You shook your head. San looked as if he got offended by that. „Oh? Why is that?” You now shrugged with your shoulders. „Don’t you want to use that pretty mouth of yours, baby? Talk to me.” He now stood up and made his way to you. When he reached you, he slung his arms around you waist, face just a few inches away from yours. „Not listening to me? I guess you wanna use that beautiful mouth of yours for something else’s then, huh?” Now you started smirking, kinda enjoyed where’s this is going. This was way better then going out for a fancy dinner with the boys. Don’t get me wrong, you loved the boys, but you didn’t feel comfortable and confident enough to go out with that dress, San bought you for this dinner. „Look at you, so beautiful. Even my friends want to have you and fuck your pretty pussy. They wanna grab this fat ass and smack it, want to cum on your pretty body. Oh how bad for them that they could never have you, you’re all mine, this pretty body is all mine.”

Song Mingi

„Mingi! You can’t just walk in like that.” His eyes went big. „Why not, I am your boyfriend?” His innocent voice made you melt, he’s so cute. You turned around, hiding your body from him. „I know that, but you know how I feel about myself. I am ashamed.” His eyes got even rounder. „Even if it’s me? I thought you feel comfortable with me. Did I do something wrong? Oh my god I make you uncomfortable. What do I do?! I shoul-„ „No Mingi. It’s not that... it’s just... never mind.” You kept on cleaning yourself, trying to ignore him. You heard the sound of a belt and clothes moving. When you turned to look what he was up to, you directly looked into your boyfriends eyes. He smiled at your surprised expression and leaned further into you. „Mingi, I-“ You got interrupted by a kiss. Soon, the kiss got more intense, both of you starting to touch each other’s body’s. Mingi broke the kiss, giving you time to breath. „You know Y/N, I know it might take some time until you understand that but you’re the most stunning human I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And you know those scars and marks on your body? They are just as beautiful. They make you unique, it’s just like art. I love you, you and every tiny bit of your beautiful 'flaws'. Please never forget that baby.“ You were on the verse of tears, like damn, you love that boy so much. A smile was sitting on both of your faces, you leaning back in to continue your make out session.

Jung Wooyoung

He slowly placed soft his kisses down your tummy. When he bit into one of your belly roles (is that even the correct word? lol), you immediately scolded him for that. „But it’s cute.” You rolled your eyes. „No, Woo, it’s not cute. Please stop.” He chuckled at your reaction, still thinking it’s cute. „Okay, cry baby.“ He then kept on kissing your tummy, started to go further down towards your core. „Woo...” You couldn’t really make out if you were warning him or were asking for more, either way, he kept going and pulled your PJ pants & panties down. Now, he had a perfect look of your stretch marks. You tried to hide them by placing your hands on top of them but Wooyoung slapped them away. „Ouch!” He didn’t gave a fuck, honestly. „Move, I wanna look at those sexy stretch marks. Damn, this is all mine.” You got a hard slap on your left thigh, letting out a moan, your boyfriend only smirking a smirk by that. „Like that, huh? Lemme eat you out then.” He gave you another slap, this time on your clit. I guess, what he wants, he gets?

Choi Jongho

„Jongho, no.” He kept pulling you on himself. „Hey, don’t worry, baby. Did you already forget how strong I am?” He let out a cute chuckle, making you smile but it soon vanished out of your face again. Jongho wanted you to ride his face but you felt uncomfortable with that idea. Your were too heavy, at least in your own opinion. Jongho always told you that you’re beautiful the way you are and that he loved you no matter what. He also always assured you that you aren’t heavy and even if, he could handle it, since he was a strong guy. Still, you were too scared of hurting him. Jongho assured you that he would be fine and would stop if you don’t like it, so you made your way above his face, slowly sinking down. You immediately let out a soft moan when his tongue met your cunt. After some time he told you to move, your fear of hurting him rising again. „Princess, don’t worry. You did so good till now, I know you can do even better. Come on, ride my face, cupcake.” You closed your eyes and started to move slowly. While so, Jongho kept on praising you from time to time, you growing more confided by that. You soon reached your high, making a mess all over your boyfriends face. Jongho licked you clean until every drop was gone. You then stood up and checked on him, he giving you a proud smile. „I knew you could do it, I am so proud of you! We need do this more often tho, that was freaking hot.”