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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didn’t punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her he’d do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and that’s not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how he’s a big picture guy and it’s not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits he’d drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we don’t get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I don’t think Curly underplaying Anya’s trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isn’t his to bare like he can’t#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and that’s the problem really cause he’s just used to actually fixing it for him and it’s the case#this is the one thing he really couldn’t like I think he’s a good guy but he’s trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they don’t like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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People's reaction to Maya absolutely reeks of misogyny. And a refusal to engage with the fact her behavior is absolutely a result of the ways that able-bodied people treat disabled people. Which is absolutely wild for a show centered around the fact that what drew one of the MLs to the other is that he was one of the only people that treated him like a whole person instead of someone to be pitied, infantilized and made a spectacle of because of their disability. Like it's made very clear that ableism from others is a near constant and that a lot of people interact with you not because they actually want to know you as a person but because they want to feel good about themselves for being nice to the "poor helpless disabled person" The girl that told Kohei carrying the trash must be too difficult for him because he can't hear, the guys that let him score a basket because it would've been "pitiful" to defend against him, Yoko's cousin and her weird romance fantasy etc etc.
So Maya, as a disabled person who also deals with that bs on the daily, being stand-offish and critical or suspicious of an able-bodied man? Makes sense actually. Right now her character is there as conflict between the characters, it makes sense to not like her but hop off of all that "uwu this character is perfect sunshine baby and anyone who is mean or critical of them is a heartless bitch" bullshit
#i hear the sunspot#it's also a lack of understanding dramatic irony imo#like we as the viewers know more about taichi's intentions than she does#tbh if i saw messy notes that someone was compensated to take my immediate thought would be 'this person doesnt take their job seriously#and considering how difficult it is to get disability services that would be agrivating#also the way people adopt this “he's a precious cinnamon roll who can do no wrong” rhetoric and actually MEAN it is problematic#but that's a separate rant#like too many ppl can't handle character flaws - either pretend they don't exist or act like the character is the devil#and when youre a female character in a bl? boom irredeemable bitch even when they serve a purpose to the story#bc how dare you get in the way of my yaoi
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Okay, but serious talk? Shoutout to Dropout for the Transcription feature. It's making my life so much easier by virtue of me being able to easily find a spot in the episode, as well as being able to write down when and what is being said. It's making my research so much easier, and is going to be really helpful later on when I need specific sections and their timestamps for quotation purposes.
Also, just shoutout in general because I'm able to take screenshots, which means I do not have to fight the service, like fucking Max no I'm not bitter that I wasted hours trying to get that one fucking shot screencapped so I could use it in a presentation, no not at all
Anyway. This feature rocks and I'm so thankful that Dropout has it. Especially since I have to fight YouTube later on because I need transcripts then too and that is not a native YT thing D:
#text_loke#Dropout#Adventuring Academy#my only sad point is that trying to download the transcripts for d20 shows is. flawed. at least the first three eps of burrow's end#take notes other streaming services; please give us a transcript option!! us literary critics love 'em#it makes getting quotations properly so much smoother. and i can jump around as much as i want :D
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Nightwing, lecturing the Titans after a failed mission: I’m extremely disappointed in you. Frankly, I expected a higher level of team efficiency and coordination, but evidently, I was wrong.
Red Robin: Nightwing, please, we can talk about this.
Nightwing: yeah, later, but I don’t have the time or the words right now to express myself adequately without saying something I’ll regret sooo—
—I hired this 12 year old to do it for me!
Robin, kicking down the door, yelling with his whole chest: What the actual FUCK was that!?!
Nightwing: I’ll leave you in his very capable hands. Good luck.
Red Robin, softly, with feeling: shit.
Wonder Girl: LMAO, wait a little kid?
Robin, pointing at her: Perfect! A volunteer!
#I’d so prefer them introducing Damian to the Titans like this instead of whatever the fuck DC keeps tryin to do#Tim makes any move and Damian’s in the corner clicking his tongue taking notes for Dick#if fans are committed to the batfam really being a family#then Damian has to be a snitch#that’s his birthright as the youngest#not the cowl#Damian accepts bribes and his services can be bought for the right price#he’s an assassin after all lol#yelling at Tim and Tim’s friends tho? 100% free of charge it’s his honor#it’s his esteemed privilege#he’s not the little brother Tim deserves but the little brother he needs 😤🫡🦇#dick: I never said thank you#damian: and you’ll never have to#damian wayne#lol plz don’t take this seriously
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i’m still hours away from this part of my replay but i still don’t know if Aeryn should punch the first warden or talk him down. on one hand ‘Lucanis would like me to punch him. so punch him i will.” is highly likely because that’s just. How Aeryn’s Brain Works. on the other hand. i didn’t give him 18 charisma in bg3 for nothin that freak is persuasive and always knows what to say/do to get the Desired outcome. so they’re both equally likely, ironically for the exact same reasoning; fundamentally he is a “person”* who will bend himself backwards into whatever shape is Desired of him.
i guess the question is, what is he prioritising in this moment? the approval of the latest recipient of his (only slightly obsessive) Devotion, or doing what he considers is the right thing (not being brutish/forceful, being a good leader, stroking the first warden’s ego and letting him believe it’s all his idea, etc)
he’s such a manipulative little shit.
*Spirit caught endlessly somewhere between Devotion and Desire (that’s why the words are capitalised <3)
#aeryn ‘devotion/desire’ ‘rook’ ingellvar your mental pathways are insane. heart 🫀#very important to note that for a person (spirit. demon?) like aeryn being a leader is an act of service in itself.#aeryn voice I Will Take Good Care Of You. i will even make decisions for you if that’s what you require of me.#but know that i take no pleasure in doing so. in fact i wish it was the other way around.#(he is manipulating you. you will not recognise yourself after he is done with you.)#good luck with that lucanis! he’s gonna take your virgin ass and moukd it into the perfect owner/master/lover/devotee. sorry#manipulative submission my beloved <3#anyway this is only like. me coming up with the Worst outcome of their romance. the bad ending. this isn’t what really happens.#or is it.#your daily dose of idiocy#aeryn ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#veilguard#veilguard spoilers#lucanis x rook#rookanis#<- if you’re a mutual and you see those tags no you fucking don’t.
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the website that wouldn't fucking die
#absolutely inspiring#note: dont take this too seriously#and aldo i know tumblr isnt in competition with discord or twitch since they offer completely different services#but they DO fit in the category of 'websites that just fucked their shit up'#much like reddit twitter etc#microphone effect
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yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what
#so i dropped out of school at like 13/14 to be home fulltime to take care of my grandparents yeah yeah whtever#whats insane is remembering that when i was 15 my mom tried to arrange a marriage for me with some guy who was in his early 20s#he was the deacons EXTREMELY autistic son and we had spoken like. 3 times. it had been fine like he was pretty cool#but like. she talked me into tentatively agreeing with her. she went to talk to the deacon and everything about it#fucking hello? hello? taps the mic isaiah southern baptist child bride real?#that always pulls the same thread in my brain of how my grandparents died only a month or so apart#so the pastor had just finished doing my grandmas memorial service when we asked him to do the funeral service to bury them both together#and the first thing out of his fucking mouth was 'hah wow didnt expect to see all of you again so soon!'#and that pavilion was SILENT. besides like someone sniffling#awkward fuckhead piece of shit that guy sucked#yk he once threw away what he had written all his notes to preach on bc a gay couple had just moved to the area and wanted to try our churc#so he spent the whole time ranting about how gay people go to hell instead and they left in the middle of it crying#hell on earth.#my mom convinced him to start a school thru the church and i dont think ANY of their teachers went to college besides literally 1#bc she had just retired from the local middle school and had the free time to participate#but then i guess it all just comes back around#my brother graduated from there and became a ta when he was 18 and started dating a 14/15yo so#genuinely so glad i got the fuck outta there#what a nightmare that town was. christ
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Rolling around thoughts of BT (or Cooper) being like. Half aware that theyre... not in a game, but that this isn't the first time they've done this. Not quite Sans Undertale behavior, but just... BT somehow comprehending that time has just gone back several seconds. Offering Cooper words or encouragement. Or Cooper knowing that an IMC grunt is about to come out a specific door without knowing how or why he knows. Something tells him he's been here enough times, once you go through those doors you need to duck and cover or else a Stalker is going to shoot you. It's real, for them, but something is taking them back, giving them a second try, a third try, however many tries it takes to get it right.
#Titanfall 2#Jack Cooper#BT 7274#BT-7274#Tf 2#Yeah I'm turning my weird brain towards Titanfall now#Maybe it's something they're not really aware of until after effect and cause and the time warp shenanigans#Cooper assumes his senses are getting better (and he's not wrong)#(he IS becoming a better pilot. He needs less redos the further he goes.)#BT might think something is wrong with his censors or calibration and makes a note for the next time he gets a service done#And it's weird because in the moments they WANT to turn back (BT getting grabbed or Viper's attack or the Draconis crashing)#They can't. They're still hurtling full tilt towards an end that they cannot stop#BT always sacrifices himself for the militia. He always sacrifices himself for Cooper. (He always returns on the helmet)#(you can take that from my cold dead hands)#But they get forgiven for their mistakes enough that they save the world#Because the world NEEDED to be saved#I am rolling this around in my head a lot we will see if it makes an appearance or not
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yarrow's fun bc he's a doctor bc he wants to help people but then you peel that back a little and the reason he wants to help people is bc he would want others to do the same for him, then you peel that back and realize it's in parts a manifestation of his inability to ask for help in outright as well as feeling like he has to be "worthy" of receiving "good things" (re: outsources his self worth on how much he can help others). so he doesn't ask for the things he wants/wants to see in the world, and instead gives and gives hoping that people will see what he's doing and be inspired to do the same, but he's doesn't communicate this to anyone so he's left perpetually feeling like he's giving more than he receives and that doesn't become an arrogant sort of "i'm better than anyone else" but instead warps into a "i must not be doing enough" that starts the cycle over again. and he's at least semi-aware of this and how it's probably slowly destroying him as well, but doesn't know any other way to be so he just. continues.
guy who asks via actions and not words except nobody knows that so he's constantly left wanting for more. i don't have a conclusion for this i just wanted to talk about them
#shit like this is why i have so much fun with p2 bc it's where a lot of their personal issues come into light bc of the absence of (much)#external conflict#it's worth noting that he IS compensated for his work as a doctor. sometimes in the form of money or a warm meal or an exchange of services#there's this whole thing where grimm's money paid off the rent on his house/clinic deal so he and the other doctor he apprenticed#under can afford to charge people less and operate more on a sort of 'pay what you can' basis#then the other doctor dies and yarrow's gotta take over everything. they get help but. it's. idk it's not complicated i just gotta tease#more of the specifics out of all that prolly. i've been operating under that scaffolding for the past ~year#and all that's not to say they absolutely can't ask for anything at all. they can be like 'hey can you take care of this while i have a#quick smoke break' with no issue. it's the whole 'how does one ask for kindness' of it all#yknow? maybe? am i just sounding insane? prolly#<going mad thinking abt the Running Themes in most of my work regardless of media#rambles#yarrow#and naturally this plays onto their whole deal with intimacy and sex and being 'stone' as well. bc of course
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scrolling back through my liveblogging of the day of the nyc concert because of recent notifications and its such a fun mixed bag of emotions to relive it all again
#helloooooo pineapple in my notes i do not mind the likes and reblogs <3#but it was such a crazy day that day of the show. so much happened#i also didn't remember that the day before the concert is when my bus got messed up and was taking me back to ny#and i had to get a car service home and everything#and then there was the concert the next day!#and what i had done was worked monday. took all of tuesday off for the concert. got like maybe 4 hour of sleep if that#and then went back to work wednesday. stupid#it worked out fine lol but i dont think id do it that way again idk#other remembrances of the day:#my biggest regret is getting all worked up abt my stupid letter that never got to them anyway like jeez. obviously i still enjoyed the show#but still. OH and i missed out on getting the latte pinback buttons#not the biggest deal but i did want those. i was just awkwardly standing around before the nyc show#and the merch line was always super long anyway#what else. oh i wish i could have met those of you that were there. but next time! im cooler now so next time.#the show itself was crazyyyy. again so fun and surreal#one of the tags on my original review was something along the lines of me having not been this excited since i was a kid#and it was really like that. like it really was that absolute pure overjoyed excitement that i haven't felt for a long time#i felt the same at the hollywood bowl. just having so much fun (missing it now lol 🥲)#cant remember if i mentioned this before but when i was standing outside the stage door i saw both spike lee and adam driver leave backstage#adam driver is Tall. i didnt even recognize him at first fdhgkgkg#anyway. some thoughts almost a year later wow!
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Love Comes, Slowly. (Death Comes Faster.)
(Or, Furina falls ill, and Wanderer is confronted with the fact he cares a lot more than he realized.)
(He's got a name in this drabble too lads yippee!! He and Furina are close enough now he feels comfortable letting her call him by a name :] oh yeah and uh. This was not intended as shippy, if you were wondering, just to get that out of the way. It's platonic.)
“..ina. Furina!”
The white haired girl blinked owlishly, startled to attention. “Huh? What?”
“This is the third time I've called you,” Tetsuya frowned, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you daydreaming?” Furina flushed in answer, scratching the back of her neck.
“I've just been a little out of it today,” she muttered. That much was an understatement. She'd awaken with a fogginess in her head and a heaviness in her stomach that just hadn't gone away, and everything seemed to be processing twice as slowly, leaving her behind as the world kept moving. Was it always this warm, too??? Furina felt like she was baking, even for a place as warm as Sumeru, something felt off-
“Hey!”
Wanderer's hands grabbing her face snapped her to attention, and Furina instinctively leaned into them a little, comforted by how cool they were. In contrast, his pupils dilated a little - humans were always very warm in contrast to him, but Furina felt especially hot. “Are you sick?”
"I don't know…. maybe…?”
Tetsuya's eyes flashed with something unreadable, and he quickly took his companion by the hand, fear gripping his chest as much as he would deny it was there. “Well, we need to get you medical attention, then.”
“I'll be fine-”
“I know you will,” he asserted, “because we are GOING to get you looked at.” His tone left no room for arguments, and Furina stared at him hollowly before weakly nodding. She didn't understand why he was so vehement all of a sudden, but she didn't have much energy to be stubborn.
“Mkay…”
Tetsuya began to lead her through the city then, and she let herself be pulled along, slipping in and out of awareness as voices around her rose and fell like the tides. Very soon however, it was a struggle just to put one foot in front of the other, and Furina wobbled to a stop, a hand to her temple. Wanderer turned to her then, frowning. “What's wrong?”
“Tired,” she mumbled, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Achy, too…”
“We'll be to the clinic soon, just - we're going to get you some help,” he replied, and if she were fully coherent she'd notice his voice was slightly strained from barely concealed worry. “Come on. You can lean on me if you need to.” He seemed so far away, despite the fact he was right there, and Furina's legs buckled, too weak to support their owner's weight anymore. She crumpled to the ground, and Tetsuya froze, unable to move for a moment. And then the spell was broken, and he knelt by her side, frantic. “Furina!? Hey!! HEY!! Furina!!” With shaky hands, he took her pulse, relief flooding him when it came through strong and consistent.
It might not stay that way for long, though. You've seen this before.
Pushing that thought away, Tetsuya carefully wrapped one arm around Furina's back to support her and then scooped her up princess style - she was so small, and he noticed her cheeks were quite rosy, beads of sweat all over her brow.
..the fever's getting worse.
He had to hurry. He had to hurry.
Tetsuya swears he's never flown so fast before, everything whizzing by in a blur (and if his vision blurred for reasons other than his swiftness, no one needed to know). The moment he touches the ground again, he's racing towards one of the nurses, chest too hot and too cold all at once. “My friend collapsed,” (and it's startling, how easy it is now to call her that) “Help her. Please.” Furina was gently taken from his arms, and he lingered like a shadow as she was carefully placed in one of the beds, a cool cloth laid on her brow. “She gonna be alright?” Wanderer ventured, and his voice was so so small, expression more akin to someone centuries ago; someone who hadn't yet seen the depth of all the world's sorrows. One of the nurses turned and nodded, in reassurance.
“Her illness was caught early on, so she should be just fine. It's good you noticed quickly. She should be back to normal in a few days with rest, but you can spend the night if you'd like-”
“Absolutely.” He was not going to leave. No way in hell. Settling into a chair nearby, he tried to calm the storm in his chest, closing his eyes to clear his thoughts. The hours flew by, and eventually Wanderer sat up and gently shook Furina, to rouse her. “It's time for you to take your medicine. Come on.” Furina didn't move, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe, chills gripping him.
Oh.
Oh, god. God, please, no. Not again. Please, not again. He couldn't do this again.
“Hey,” Tetsuya called again, shaking the girl harder. “If this is a joke, it's not funny. You need to get up. They said you were going to get better, so you have to.” He'd made it in time this time, he'd - as soon as he could, he'd brought her here… so there was no reason that -
Tetsuya took Furina's hand, and to his horror, it was cold (like his) and limp. Just like - no, no no. This wasn't happening this could NOT be happening it couldn't!! “You can't just - leave me like this,” he managed, tears flooding his eyes. But she had. She had, and he didn't even get to say goodbye, and he couldn't breathe, sobs choking him. This time, he understood that death was a constant, that it would come and claim all humans eventually but-
...that didn't make it hurt any less, as much as he'd tried to deny it.
“Furina, come on, you're one of the only friends I have I - please don't leave me behind. Please - I'll do anything just wake up; wake up!”
I couldn't save you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
He can't stop crying. He's sprung a leak and he can't fix it and everything hurts so badly and a nurse is taking his hand and pulling him away and turning his face into her chest so he won't look, and he can't stop crying and he's begging her to do something, anything, but she can't. She knows that, and he knows it, too.
Furina was gone, and he couldn't do anything. No one could.
Tetsuya jolted awake, tears streaming down his cheeks, and gasped. Stars twinkled above, and he sat up after a split second of regaining his senses. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Then, Furina- getting up in a hurry, he raced to her side and shook her frantically, and to his immense relief, she stirred. Heterochromic eyes stared blankly at him, and she blinked sleepily. “Tetsuya…?? What - oogh!” He was squeezing her in a hug before she could process what was happening, tucking his head into her shoulder. “Oh….hey hey, it's okay,” Furina mumbled, patting his back weakly in reassurance. “M’just tired..why are you crying??”
“You're okay,” he barely managed, holding her like she'd disappear if he let go. “I had a dream and - no, it..it doesn't matter. It wasn't real. You're okay.” Wanderer's voice broke then, and he sobbed, relief overwhelming. “You can't leave me yet, okay? Not yet. Please. You're the best friend I ever had.”
“I'm going to get better, don't worry. They're taking good care of me here, and I'll be out in no time and - ��.”
“What? What is it? What's wrong?”
“Nothing, just.. you said, I'm your friend-”
The young man froze, taken aback, and then eased up again, slowly nodding. “.. I did say that.”
“You mean it?”
“..Wouldn't say it if I didn't.”
Furina smiled, laying her head atop Wanderer's, and blue and white locks spilled into each other. “You're my friend too, yanno. Thank you for bringing me here when you did. I might be a lot worse off otherwise.”
“You don't have to thank me. I just - . . did what anybody would do.”
“Maybe, but I still want to thank you. Gotta make sure the people you love know they're appreciated.” Tetsuya stiffened at that, blinking rapidly. Oh god, she couldn't just - say things like that, he'd cry all over again and - he had to have misheard.
“You- …what?”
“You're my friend, and I love you,” Furina reasserted, and she said it so easily, like she was talking about the weather, like she was stating a fact of the world, and it shook him to his core.
“.. I - oh,” was all he could say, hot tears making their way down his face again. “Just. Just like that?”
“Just like that,” she nodded, and the tears fell faster. He loved her too, he realized - he wasn't quite sure the exact dimensions of it but he knew he cared for her as a friend would, wanted to stand by her side and defend her with everything he had. Still, it wasn't very easy to say that, so he hoped his actions spoke for themselves. She seemed to understand though, to his relief.
“..why?” Tetsuya finally ventured, because he did not understand. There were many things he did not understand, actually. What he did not expect was for her to answer his question with a question.
“Why not?”
“Why not? Because - …I mean, you've seen how I act.”
“Doesn't make you unlovable, yanno. You're prickly, yeah, but I mean. If love is conditional, it's not love at all. You care about me - the real me, and I care about you, flaws and all. And that's not gonna change. Okay?”
“...mm,” Wanderer managed, nodding once.
Just like that. Just because he was, he was cared for. Worldrocking, that.
They stayed like that for a long time, until one of the nurses came to take care of Furina, and soon after the girl fell asleep. Tetsuya watched how the nurse gently tucked her in and brushed her damp bangs out of her forehead, expression contemplative. Humans could be selfish, they could be deceptive, they could be cowardly - but they also cared about each other and they loved each other, too- and some of them had so, so much love to give, it was daunting. Here in one moment and gone the next but they loved so much and so deeply - and for a moment, he wondered if he could, too, love the world and everything in it or - most things. He didn't think so, but these days it did seem a little brighter than it had before. Maybe that was a sign he was changing, without realizing it.
He would think more about it later. For now, he simply held Furina's hand as she slept and leaned his head on the side of the bed, heart steady. They'd said she needed a few days to recuperate, and he would be here until then. She would be okay, she would be alright. There was nothing to fear anymore, and everything would be okay. He wasn't going to lose her - not for now, anyway.
..to love, and to be loved, was wonderful, he thought.
Maybe that was living.
..he could come to thrive in it.
#genshin impact#furina#wanderer#HI GUYS I'M BACK AGAIN YIPPEE#oh boy oh boy i love these guys so much im so ill over them i need them to interact in canon#but until then i will write my dream interactions#anyway uh my hc is wanderer gets very fussy when people get sick because yk. trauma. he's scared of them leaving him behind again aha!#i dab to hide my tears#but yeah he cares about furina very much she's wormed her way into his heart and he's like Oh No.......Oh Dear#i think furina loves very very deeply and it's easy for her to express that. she has a big heart#wanderer also loves deeply once like. you get past his walls but by god!! they're thick as hell. 400+ years of trauma is crazy bro#it's hard for him to say it verbally too so he expresses it through actions he cooks for his friends he looks out for their well-being#he takes note of things people like and then like. gives them those things; etc#something something wanderer giving acts of service as a means to feel useful pipeline to him giving because it is his way to love.#do you feel me. do you get it. am i making sense#aughhhhhhhhhghghghggh#he is just. a lot to me i love him#and i love furina#and they are gonna heal together and it will be better
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I got an email from my grandpa today and all the draft responses I’ve been working on in my head sound like an 18th century letter that’s going to have to travel for months to reach him.
pandemic year 5 really has me feeling like me and a very small handful of people I know are living on an entirely different plane of existence than everyone else
#like I haven’t seen him in over a year. I’ve seen him 3 times since 2020#so I guess on the isolation and slow communication front it’s pretty similar#he used my chosen name. I haven’t changed my email yet but he used my chosen name#I don’t even care at this point if he never gets my pronouns right#I thought I’d never be able to tell him. I didn’t want to find out his politics were more important#he’s quiet and kind and he gives people expensive gifts any time he can afford it but he constantly forgets people’s allergies#so he might get you something you can’t have but whoever you pass it along to will love it#he cries at weddings and during church services and sometimes random holidays#he passes out in his rocking chair at every family function#he’s the unofficial photographer of every gathering ever since my great grandfather stopped being able to walk as much as the job requires#and he voted for trump in 2016 and has afaik an active nra membership#he once complimented my outfit by telling me he’d call me a stud if I was a guy#which like. ok. I have some notes#but uh. thanks?#idk I’m just. it sucks being so far away from everyone and everything because the rest of the world is ignoring an ongoing pandemic#I’m missing so much of my life and others lives and even parts of my own transition#I can make steps to reach out but it only goes so far if poeple#are unwilling to mask or vaccinate or even just ask what needs to happen to make it safe#so I don’t. idk. kill my partner#or become even more disabled than I currently am#my family’s been making steps and they’re taking me seriously but it’s all so slow and I’m still sore from bracing for rejection#I’ve been bracing for rejection for so so long it’s terrifying to reach out. about anything#this is not condusive to a healthy relationship lol#not sure what to do other than bonk myself on the head and say ‘get better’ tho#*bonk* ‘try again’#one step at a time ig#ahshitherewegoagain.jpg#.txt
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You would not belive how excited I get when somebody who actually Gets It adds something to the notes of my Sanji headcanons instead of just another person who's likely never done food/customer service going 'Sanji doesn't have a customer service voice' or 'his hands are scarred, but only from when he was learning'
Like. Please.
#reading the notes is just like#yes. he has a customer service voice.#no. he has not made Chopper cry.#yes. his hands are scarred worse than nami's.#no. he does not have a kink about being called chef. just no. please take that off of my post.#and then a few people who actually know exactly what i mean
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okay so i totally forgot about ghostbusters and today ended up being pretttty insane - all of the asshole customers came out in droves, too - found one of my co-workers crying in the staff bathroom. i know you've got kids and you're in a rush to see the movie and to get all your shit, but friendly reminder to treat your customer service workers with respect and not make it a point to belittle us, be aggressive to us or better yet, embarrass us. (:
#i felt bad because something like that happened to me not long ago.#this asshole would keep leaning over to his son#and loudly noting how bad the service was.#like trying to embarrass me.#and yeah i did have to take a moment and also (:#you're raising that kid to be a real bang up member of society who'll treat service workers great i'm sure.#i like the job i just hate the people sometimes.
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