#not tuvok he's married

[illogical-space-monkey]

The human urge to lick a vulcan's palm and see what happens.

[lostyesterday]

Star Trek Voyager ended with two canon couples – B’Elanna/Tom who get married and Chakotay/Seven who start dating right at the end of the show. But what if things had gone differently? What if a different set of couples had gotten together?

Scenario A: B’Elanna and Chakotay start casually dating in season 3 and Chakotay proposes to B’Elanna in season 6. Seven and Tom start bickering constantly in season 6 until it is revealed at the very end of season 7 that they’ve been secretly dating for several months.

Scenario B: In season 4, it is revealed that Harry has been in unrequited love with B’Elanna all this time – or so he thinks. It turns out she loves him back and they get married near the end of season 7. Janeway and Neelix have the exact same relationship they do in canon except that in mid-season 7 they’re infected with a virus that makes them tell each other their darkest secrets. After this, they suddenly start dating.

Scenario C: B’Elanna dates Tom starting in season 4, but then a love triangle begins when the Doctor falls in love with B’Elanna too. In season 6, B’Elanna breaks up with Tom because they argue constantly, only to get together with the Doctor in season 7 who argues with her at least as much. This is never acknowledged. Seven initially starts dating Harry in season 4 as an “experiment”, but they end up staying together long-term.

Scenario D: In season 5, Neelix becomes Seven’s main tutor in “becoming human” (based on Neelix's observation of humans over the last few years). The two of them grow to become good friends and start dating in season 7. In season 6, Janeway and the Doctor suddenly start being put into increasingly obvious and contrived sexually charged scenarios. In the final episode, the Doctor confesses his love to Janeway and they share a single kiss. It is implied that they eventually get married.

[bumblingbabooshka]

I can't read Janeway/Chakotay if Tuvok isn't there with the same energy of a passenger in the backseat putting his foot on Chakotay's chair and slowly increasing the pressure so Janeway doesn't notice but Chakotay does. Bc. He should have been in the front seat. And Janeway's the one who asked "Do you mind getting in the back, Mr. Tuvok?" and he said it was fine, absolutely fine, and she thought nothing more of it but everytime Chakotay glances in the rearview mirror he can see that man's eyes staring back at him. I know people cast Tuvok as the wingman in Janeway & Chakotay's tragic love story but I think it'd be way funnier and perhaps even MORE tragic if anytime Janeway tried to softlaunch the idea of Chakotay as a romantic interest Tuvok conveniently had a memory about her and Mark Johnson to share. Do You Remember when we all went to the Recreation of The Ancient Olive Garden, Captain? And you said you two were Mates of Each Other's Soul? That just occurred to me for some reason. Anyway, what were you saying about Chakotay? After Mark Johnson is out of the picture for good, Tom teases that Janeway & Chakotay would make a good couple and Tuvok, serious as a heart attack and with a dire warning in his eyes/tone (insulting the captain is a grave offense) says that the captain would Never do something like that. She is a woman of morals. She is a woman who holds herself to a high standard. She would Never. And Tom never brings it up again and Janeway is both touched by Tuvok's belief in her and...something else. Something that feels like being doomed. Tuvok doesn't even dislike Chakotay at this point, it's not about him at all - it's All about Janeway. Like, personally I don't think Tuvok would be that personally invested in Janeway's romantic life one way or another (they seem to me like they'd be uncomfortable talking in depth about that kind of thing) but if he's going to be invested wouldn't it be so funny, so intriguing, for him, as the only member of Voyager who has pre-existing history with Janeway, to represent the Past. The things Janeway wants to return to, what she fights to keep alive - and this is shown to us the audience through Tuvok reinforcing and nurturing her belief that she should NOT become romantically involved with her first officer? Janeway has standards for herself...and Tuvok will Ensure she lives up to them. Because he believes in her ability to do so. They are 'in this together', are they not? They will assist one other, will they not? Like always.

[oscartheghost]

oh no tuvok is married! and I was JUST lusting after him!!

[simptasia]

tuvok's oldest sek reached his first pon farr and took a mate in season 4. assuming the average time a vulcan reaches pon farr is early 20s (sek looks pretty young too. he's got a cute baby face), then the rest of tuvok's children are at most teenagers

[aspiringnexu]

Humans are Vulcan catnip, I swear to Q.

Spock and Kirk: No need to explain. In any universe they are drawn together and Spock abandons any sense of rationality if his Captain is hurt or just looks at him sweetly.

Sarek and Amanda: Admitted he married Amanda for love, not logic. Then made Spock.

Solkar and Zefram: Ten seconds off the spaceship and Solkar decides to do the diplomatic thing and make out with this human.

Surak and Archer: Archer was given Surak's katra without his knowledge and when T'Pau attempted to extract him Surak clung to the mental doorframe because he was safer here and he liked it better here, despite the logic of being housed in a nice logical Vulcan mind instead.

Solok and Sisko: Solok abandoned all pretense of logic when he won a wrestling match with a young Sisko and became so obsessed with him that he taught an entire Vulcan Starfleet crew how to play baseball just so he could beat Sisko again.

T'Pol and Trip: T'Pol became so attached to the Enterprise crew that she gave up her military career with Vulcan to continue to serve as First Officer, and to keep close with her boyfriend.

Tuvok and Janeway: Tuvok is fiercely loyal to Janeway, to the point that he will go along with her illogical plans just because he has such great faith in her.

Soval and Forrest: Soval respected Forrest but when Forrest died saving Soval it uprooted what loyalty he had left to the Vulcan High Command (who he then realised was corrupt) and he went rogue trying to save Vulcan from itself. (Really watch for the nose flare when he talks to Archer next to Forrest's casket, that Vulcan is pissed.)

[the-heartstring-chronicles]

As someone who has shipped P/C since 1994 and JC since 2006. I just want to say:

Continuing justice for Jean Luc and Kathryn!

( No, no! Not as a ship, you can stop screaming in horror now, I have not abandoned my soulmate pairs)

But as characters:

They both get a very bad wrap for being addicted or married to duty. And in some ways they are, it’s true!

But as confirmed by Picard season 3, Jean Luc says he would have wanted a shot at being a husband to Beverly, from his own lips! And he says that he would have wanted to be a father. She may not have known either of those things, but it doesn’t make them any less fact.

He was also openly affectionate to her, sometimes in public during TNG. Riker knew about them, he says as much to Jack. No one on the crew bats an eye about Jack in fact.

JL and Bev were about as subtle as an air horn set on low volume. Trying to be circumspect, but actually being a billboard for lifetime love. Heck even Shaw knew and we had never met him before. People don’t know that much about a relationship if one person in it is solely married to duty.

And Kathryn! Miss Ma’am let Chakotay build her a bathtub while still trying to get off the planet. She cried at his speech, even though it was so mushy, it could have been day old oatmeal. Why? Because she knew he meant it. ( and I as a mushy viewer, appreciated him being that honest about his feelings too)

She let him give her a rose in Coda and she struggled mightily with his disappointment in her several times in later seasons. Her counterpart in Shattered was also very openly interested in how far they went in seven seasons. (Shoot your future shot lady! Go you!) and no one thinks S7 Kathryn was totally cool with C/7 right? Her face said otherwise. Admiral Janeway, was also heartbroken in about six ways, only two of which were Seven dying and Tuvok getting sick.

She also seemingly, from what I’ve read, made it part of her goal to find him in Prodigy too. Like Jean-Luc with Beverly, when Chalotay is lost, she will seek.

So while yes, duty sometimes sidetracks each of them. they are loving people who adore their other halves as well. They are complex.

And that’s part of why I love each pair, for the devotion that both of the partners in each relationship feel and how they navigate it together.

True love must flow from each heart to make a sustainable ship

And so I hope that as much as we discuss the duty bound Admirals and those who love them, that we also keep discussing and writing about their softer sides and the ways they show that love in return.

[dustykneed]

In your “mcspirk fruity fleet academy au” is Bones married? or divorced? I wonder because of the song you used for him in that one comic (Long Division by Corporate Hearts). (Also I loveee your art style!!! And fem Kirk!! She is living in my head rent free as a welcome guest 😌)

he's divorced!

ooof. poor guy... i'm going to leave most of this up to interpretation because i do feel most of this speaks for itself, but good eye for the song lyrics!!

ngl the whole feeling behind them is a huge part of Bones' past in this au (some of it is his POV of it warped by his self-blame and guilt, and other parts of it are a more reliable account of what happened.)

(Thank you so much for being so interested in this au!!! i'm so invested in it myself and it means so much to me that someone else likes it so much they want to know more too<33333 f!Kirk also lives in my brain rent free LOL. and i am SO sorry if i'm wrong, but tuvok anon... tuvok anon is this you 👀👀)

[insanewaykathy]

We need to talk about this J/C moment, guys.

First, Chakotay walks into her prep room and almost has a heart attack when he sees she's not alone 😂😂 he was definitely super excited to talk to her about Mark, and I think he'd rather see the devil there than see Tuvok.

And it's so funny how he says he wants two sugars and she only puts one, like: "no, two is too much, I need to take care of my man so I'll only put one", and she takes the sugar with her hand 😂 the intimacy is high!

And then we see Chakotay almost falling on the couch and pretending to drink that coffee… I bet he didn't take a single sip… (why are you so anxious, Commander?)

Then he asks how she is, she says she's fine, but that answer is unsatisfying to him because he wants to know about Mark, and to be sure that her engagement went down the drain 😂 And then we have that whole Mark-safety-net conversation, and him practically telling her that she's hardly ever alone after she mentioned that even though he knew she was single, she didn't have time for relationships… "oh, no Kathryn, you weren't single, we got married about two years ago, remember?"

And we end this memorable moment with him practically telling her that he'll wait for her and giving her his arm so they can walk arm in arm to the mess hall, where he's prepared a surprise wedding ceremony and party (or wedding anniversary?)… or did you really think it was just a simple Neelix party?

[foone]

So if Threshold happens to different Trek crews, who gets who pregnant? Voyager is one of the few shows where it makes heterosexual sense, (for lack of a better word, "sense" not being the word anyone would use to describe threshold)

So for Voyager, it being Paris (pilot) and Janeway (captain) makes sense through that lens. Paris, sure, because he is a pilot. We could pick a Science Guy to do it, but then it might be B'Elanna who does the flying fast, and then who is she going to kidnap for Lizard Sex? Harry? ... Yeah it'd be Harry. Anyway once you've picked Paris, you've got to figure out which woman is funniest to have him abduct into Lizardry. B'Elanna? No, not funny enough. She'd be a Klingon lizard and beat him up instead of mating, even if they did get married later. Besides, what if she evolves into a super-advanced Klingon, not a lizard? *claps* PUT TUVOK ON THE SHUTTLE. Kes? No, they already did a Tom v Neelix episode. Seven of Nine isn't on the show yet, so Janeway it is.

Ok so for other shows, we gotta pick a pilot or science guy (who might be screwing around with transwarp, and thus get Lizarded) and someone they could turn into a lizard to have babies with. The show is assuming heterosexual pairings here, but we know about things so we are not so limited.

The original series: as much as I'd love to say Sulu and Uhura ("I'll save you, fair maiden!" "sorry, neither"), I think TOS was much less of an ensemble than later Treks, so it'd need to be Spock. Spock is doing some science stuff, he gets hyper-evolved, and he picks someone else to hyper-evolve and turn into his lizard bride. As much as I want to say "Kirk", I think it's more likely that he runs off with Uhura and then Kirk has to rescue them. Kirk was always about being the one who rescues people, having the Enterprise come rescue Lizard!Spock (is that antisemitic?) and Lizard!Kirk and it's called commanded by McCoy? Nah.

TNG: the direct analogy to VOY would mean we have Wesley and... Picard? No, no, and no. Sorry. Frankly, we already had this plot on TNG (Genesis), and canonically the answer is Worf and Troi. The problem with it being a pilot thing is that Wesley is a child and Data (the official science guy) is an android, so he can't really be hyper-evolving. We could go with Geordi, the other Science Guy, but then we've got the image of a black man kidnapping a white woman. Uhhhh no. We already did that episode and it is an example of Deep Shame for the show. So Worf and Troi it is.

DS9: so this is what inspired me to make this post. We all agree Sisko would be a damn good father to his lizard babies, but would it be him? If so, with who? You could have it be Dax, and she lizards first and kidnaps him, which makes some sense given that she's a Science Guy. But you also have to consider Weird Guys. Every Trek series needs a Weird Guy so that whenever an ancient alien artifact turns the whole crew into Muppets or whatever, they can be the one who isn't affected and can thus solve it. This is all to say, Odo/Kira could be done. We've had a few episodes where he's been shown to do very extreme things out of his pining for her, so it makes some sense. Odo/Quark would be funnier but given how the DS9 writers handled Profit and Lace, I really don't want to see them do a gay mpreg episode.

ENT: the series with canon mpreg! Direct translation of would be Mayweather/Archer. Mmm. Probably not. I think it's gonna be a rarepair: Trip/Hoshi. Trip/T'Pol is too canon to be funny. The next best option is Archer/T'Pol and that's just kinda bleh. It makes sense but it's just the kind of thing they'd do and it'd be bland. We can do better. Honorary mention: Trip and Reed.

I've not watched enough of the New Treks to have an opinion there. Maybe SNW: Ortegas and La'an. Don't ask why.

[janeway-or-the-highway]

My entry for the @25daysofvoyager ! A little part 1 of a J/C fanfic. Fluff. Action/Adventure. Angst. Aliens mistaking JC as married again. Enjoy!

“Chakotay, please!”

Kathryn dodged another blow and stumbled backward.

“Chakotay! This isn’t you!” She shouted at him, still struggling to put any distance between them on her sprained ankle, before it finally gave out.

He strode toward her, but paused when he saw a large branch on the ground. He reached down and grabbed it, then seemed to test it in his hands.

“And how do you know this ‘isn’t me’?” Chakotay said, his voice deep, and dangerous.

“I know you!”

“No. You don’t,” he said, closing the distance between them and swinging the branch down on her.

THREE DAYS EARLIER

Captain’s Log:

“It is our second day in orbit around the planet Caldar. The Caldari are a very pleasant people and trade negotiations have gone well so far. The Caldari have graciously opened their planet to the crew for shore leave. Tuvok didn’t find anything to suggest bad intent and didn’t have any objections, which I guess is as close to a compliment as you can get from a Vulcan. It is nice to be reminded that the Delta Quadrant has just as many friendly species as dangerous ones. Everyone is in desperate need of some R&R. Myself included, as Chakotay is always reminding me. Being stuck in negotiations, Chakotay and I have only seen the government centers of Caldar, but I look forward to getting to explore this rich planet more. Chakotay mentioned hearing that the twin sunset over the cliffs of Rohem was worth exploring, and I am hoping to take him up on that. Tom and Harry keep coming back with stories to keep us entertained in the meantime. A personal highlight was Tom’s retelling of Harry’s failed attempt to ride, what Tom described as a horse-sized mix between a pig and a hippo. The Doctor says that Harry needs to be off-duty for 24 hours. I had to elbow Chakotay to keep him from bursting out laughing at the Doctor’s report; Harry’s already embarrassed enough as it is. However, that doesn’t mean that we won’t be enjoying those holo-photos later.

On the business side of things, Caldar continues to impress. The planet might as well be one giant ball of dilithium. You should have seen how fast B’Elanna made it to the bridge when the planet showed up on sensors. Their entire economy is built on the sale and trade of this material that we so often find ourselves scrounging for. At first, I worried about what they were going to ask for in exchange, but what the Caldari are most interested in are the various cultures of the Alpha Quadrant. Their people collect different cultures and integrate them into their own society. I recognize some bits and pieces of cultures from throughout the Delta Quadrant, while some things are completely new. However, the custom that is of the utmost importance is their one unique tradition. The Caldari take partnership very seriously. Their society includes partnerships of all kinds; males with males, females with females, and male with female, etc. Regardless of the type of partnership, once a pair has chosen each other, they become part of one another. This “sacred partnership” is at the heart of their civilization and they champion it above all else. However, from what I understand, they do not believe in the concept of soulmates, rather that they are all on a path that will one day lead them to their missing piece. It is a society built on the idea of the peaceful pursuit of love. It is quite beautiful.

Anyway, I am hoping to exchange our cultural database we will get enough dilithium to keep B’Elanna happy for quite some time.

Despite everything that this planet has given us, I find myself still apprehensive. The Delta Quadrant is rarely this kind and I…”

The chime to the ready room interrupted Kathryn’s log.

“Computer, end log” she said while pushing the console to the side,

“Come in.”

Chakotay walked in.

“Good morning, Commander,” a soft smile spread across her face.

“Good morning, Captain. I have the crew rotations for the next month.”

“Thank you. Have I missed any more of Tom’s stories since I’ve been off the bridge?”

“No, but you did miss Neelix’s rousing report promising ‘new and improved’ recipes for leola root” Chakotay chuckled as Kathryn’s face turned into a grimace.

“Hopefully they are better than his last ‘masterpieces.’ I’m still low on replicator rations from last time.”

“Me too. Mostly from you convincing me to get you more coffee,” Chakotay said with a knowing look.

Kathryn smirked, “Captain’s prerogative. Plus, you have to admit that his latest attempt at ‘better than coffee’ coffee was unbearable.”

Chakotay chuckled. “Well, if Caldari food is anything like their hospitality, I think that we will be alright.”

“Yes,” Kathryn stood and made her way over to the viewport. She clasped her hands behind her back, “The Caldari have been extremely welcoming to us.”

“But you’re worried,” Chakotay joined her at the viewport, “worried that they are too good to be true”

Kathryn gave him a sideways smile,

“Have you been reading my log?”

“No, I just know how you think”

“I feel like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’ve been in trade negotiations for over a day and all they’ve asked for is Picasso and Kadis-Kot! My gut is telling me there is something more,” she sighed.

Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder, “We have one of our last trade meetings today. Whatever comes our way we have always been able to make it through. Today will be no different.”

Their eyes met and Chakotay couldn’t help but get caught in those pools of blue. Their relationship, after so much hardship, was finally starting to settle down again. Their weekly dinners were the highlight of his week and recently Kathryn was starting to let him in a little more. Not beyond anything that couldn’t be brushed off as close friendship, but still.

Chakotay knew that he had fallen for Kathryn a long time ago, from the moment they locked eyes on the bridge, but it was the shared moments like these where he recognized the depth of his feelings for her. He would wait for her. The angry warrior would stay by her side, for as long as it took.

Spirits, I’m lost.

“Thank you, Chakotay,” she said softly.

“Of course, Kathryn.”

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”

He dropped his hand from her shoulder.

Tuvok and his timing.

“Go ahead.”

“Captain, the Caldari ambassadors have arrived to begin negotiations. They are waiting for you and the Commander in the briefing room.”

“Thank you, Tuvok. We are on our way”

Chakotay moved towards the door, but Kathryn continued to stand looking out the viewport. Chakotay’s voice interrupted her worried thoughts,

“Are you coming, Captain?”

“Yes, I am right behind you”

Chakotay flashed her a smile and exited. Kathryn shook her head and followed after him.

Oh, I am so lost.

“Captain, I am glad that Voyager found its way to our corner of the galaxy. I think both of our people will benefit from these negotiations.” The Caldari ambassador, Turin, sat at the end of the briefing room table. The color of his skin reminded Kathryn of lilacs. The soft texture of his light purple skin was accompanied by small streaks of green that accentuated his humanoid cheekbones and jaw. His cheekbones stuck out on his face but seemed like they wrapped around his head towards the back of his skull, giving his face a sleek appearance.

“Thank you, Ambassador. I agree. I hope you find Alpha Quadrant culture as interesting as we do”

“Yes, there is much to explore. You have an extensive database on so many species! It will keep our scholars busy until the next Dual Eclipse!” The green streaks of his skin gave a soft glow with his excitement.

“I hope so, and if I may, I would recommend Dante. He is a philosopher from Earth’s history, and a personal favorite of mine.”

“Thank you for the recommendation. Now, Captain, I have a few formalities before we begin. Requirements from the High Council. You understand?” Turin said.

“Of course”

Turin reached into the satchel that sat on the floor next to him and brought out a beautifully bound book filled with greenish pages. When Turin opened the book, Kathryn realized that the pages’ green hue was similar in color to the streaks on the Caldari’s faces. She wondered if this was due to choice, or something in the planet’s biology that affected both of them. She suppressed the urge to ask as he began to speak.

“Captain, as you are aware, our society values partnership over everything else. You assured us that your culture assumes a similar view to the importance of partnership, which is what allowed us to begin this fruitful relationship between our two peoples in the first place. However, we are concerned, and frankly somewhat… off put, that you have yet to introduce us to your partner.”

Kathryn paused and tried to absorb what Turin was saying, “I’m sorry, Ambassador. I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Turin’s mouth twitched, “We do not interact, or much less conduct trade, with peoples whose leader is unpartnered. It is an unspeakable offense. Furthermore, if we were to be led into an arrangement under false circumstances regarding one’s partnership status, we would consider that an act of aggression against our planet.”

Kathryn’s typically quick-witted diplomatic mind felt like it stalled out. A partner? She was the Captain! A relationship out here could never be a partnership. Not when every available person was someone under her command. “Ambassador, you have to understand, as Captain, I don’t -“

“You don’t what?” The threat was clear. Turin’s jovial attitude was long gone and his streaks shifted to a deeper green as his mood shifted.

“I-“ Kathryn started, but Chakotay’s hand coming to rest on hers stopped her. She resisted the urge to yank her hand out from under his as she locked eyes with him. As it often was with him, she needed no words to understand what he was saying:

Trust me.

And she did.

“Ambassador Turin,” Chakotay started, “I am the Captain’s life partner.” He moved his hand on hers to interlock their fingers. Kathryn let him, since all of her energy was being spent actively trying not to have the panic she was feeling on the inside show on her face. “You have to understand,” Chakotay continued, “the Captain is not used to sharing the status of our relationship since our job’s put us in a tricky position, considering that it could be taken advantage of by our enemies. If our feelings and commitment to one another were to become common knowledge, any number of species could use that to their advantage. And, sir, as you said, our culture values our partnerships, and you’re right. If anything were to happen to Kathryn, I would stop at nothing to get her back, including putting others at risk.”

Turin visibly calmed down, but seemed wary. “But why keep this information from us. We have shown nothing but hospitality to you!”

“We apologize and don’t mean to offend, but it is just something that we’ve gotten used to protecting.”

Turin seemed to accept this and clapped his hands together. “Oh, great happiness! We are glad to keep you as friends. Now, we must discuss the Three Trials.”

“The Three Trials?” Kathryn found her voice again, but still struggled to stay focused with her hand intertwined with Chakotay’s.

“The Three Trials are three tasks meant to prove your love and commitment to one another.”

Kathryn shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“This serves a dual purpose: one, to confirm your partnership, and, two, to determine if you are tjaasaktic. Will you comply?”

The universal translator faked to pick up the last word, but all Kathryn could think of was their desperate need for the Caldari’s friendship and trade. “When do we start?”

Should I do a part 2?

[bourbonesneat]

If ship captains have the power to marry people, do they also have the power to divorce them?

Voyager had to have at least one couple that married and divorced three times. Janeway doesn’t even blink when they come in to ask her to marry them again. But she does make them do premarital counseling with Chakotay because if she’s going to suffer through this so is he.

There are couples she wants to divorce, and if they kept going in the DQ, she would’ve ordered them to divorce, damn the consequences.

She doesn’t even care about marrying people, but Neelix throws the best parties for weddings.

Marriage is a weird thing in the DQ because they could die any day so they don’t always build good foundations for marriage. And not every relationship needs to end in marriage.

There’s a betting pool on who will be the next to get married and the next to get divorced. Tuvok started it. He and T’Pel are listed, and if she were on board, he’d bet on them so they could divorce and split the extra rations. They would immediately remarry after collecting their winnings.

Admiral Janeway tells Captain Janeway that Seven and Chakotay get married in the future to collect on some 250-to-1 odds. She sacrifices herself before anyone can catch on.

Naomi Wildman is the flower girl in every wedding whether the couple has a traditional one or not. She also brings flowers for divorces.

Neelix’s divorce parties are legendary. They always start out awkward, but by the end of it, the exes are singing Billy Joel together. Q has crashed four divorce parties.

Harry has been Man of Honor and Best Man 17 times. He gives the best toasts.

Tom and B’Elanna fight over who gets to have Harry by their side.

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Patreon | Commissions]

[helluvatrek]

Me and @kermit-the-fag-official made some dumb ships so here’s the fanfic💀

Their fic: https://www.tumblr.com/kermit-the-fag-official/769167417183207424

Tuvix x Lizard Janeway

Chapter 1:Bro is lowkey wild for that

Chakotay was extremely enraged as he watched Tuvix step off the transporter pad. “GRRRRR!!!” he exclaimed. “First, our helmsman and captain become lizards, and now our security officer and lunch lady became one person!!!.”

“Erm…ackshully,” Tuvix said, “Neelix is not a female, and he does a lot more than prepare lunch.”

Chakotay hissed. “I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION.” He proceeded to throw Tuvix against the wall.

“Not nice, man.” Tuvix said. “I was like, just born. Can’t you cut me a break?”

“NOOOOO!!!! GRRRRRR!!!!”

Kes nonchalantly entered the transporter room. She looked at Tuvix and started blushing. He’s such a rizzler, She thought.

“ARGGHHH YOU STUPID FURRY!!!” Chakotay yelled at Tuvix.

“Erm, what the sigma are you doing?” Kes asked.

Chakotay turned around and realized she was there. He started blushing kawaii like a schoolgirl in an anime. “Erm, I was just chatting with my new friend.”

Kes looked at him in disbelief. “Bro stfu you’re not an alpha. Also The Doctor asked me to take ermmmm….Neebok to sick bay.”

“Erm…ackshully, my name is Tuvix; a combination of the names of my fathers.”

“Wait,” Kes said. “TUVOK AND NEELIX ARE MARRIED!? AND THEY HAVE A CHILD!?”

“Um no,” Tuvix exclaimed in a rather annoyed tone. “I am a unique person with the combined DNA, knowledge, and memories of Tuvok and Neelix. I call them my fathers because they did create me using their DNA, so it would only be logical to do so.”

“Just put the fries in the bag, bro.” Kes said, “It’s time to go to sick bay.”

Chapter 2: wtf moment💀

As soon as the turbo lift doors closed Kes started moaning violently and Tuvix was lowkey a traumatized mf at this point. “Hrrrnnbhhhfggggggg.” Kes mumbled. “Finally, someone lowkey chill as Tuvok, and as much skibidi rizz as my alpha Neelix.”

“Erm,” said Tuvix, “I’ll have you know that I have only been living for about twenty minutes and I am too young to lose my virginity.”

Kes looked at Tuvix in a sarcastic way. “Bro lowkey forgot I’m one year old. Imagine, could never be me.”

Tuvix was concerned. “So you’re telling me you’re not a virgin?”

“Erm, I thought you said you have the combined memories of Tuvok and Neelix.” Kes bombastic side eyed.

“Well, about that…..ermmmmm I’m just a forgetful person.”

Kes didn’t care so she continued moaning violently. I need to get him pregnant. She thought.

Finally, the turbo lift doors opened and B’elanna Torres was standing outside.

“Oh, skibidi!” Kes said in a frustrated tone indeed. “I forgot to halt the doors. No wonder it was hard to looksmaxx.”

B’elanna nonchalantly looked at Kes, then at Tuvix. “Who tf are you!?” She asked him.

“I’m Tuvix.” he said.

“Bruh.” B’elanna exclaimed and then she proceeded to enter the turbo lift.

“Whoa buddy, who do think you are?” Kes said in a preppy ahh way. She pushed her.

“Chat, aren’t you going to sick bay with this beta?” B’elannna growled. “Cuz sick bays on this deck, y’know.”

Kes hissed. “HOW DARE YOU CALL MY ALPHA SIGMA DISCORD KITTEN A BETA!!!!” B’elanna rolled her eyes and yeeted Tuvix and Kes into sick bay. B’elanna barked at them to make sure they didn’t come back into the turbo lift.

Chapter 3: Tuvix meets lizard Janeway

Tuvix was rather annoyed indeed that Kes kept touching him. Not as annoyed as The Doctor when he entered the room.

“Oh,” said Kes, “Hi, doctor.” Tuvix could see her blushing like Chakotay did earlier. Bruh, he thought. Why is blud like this? “This is my alpha, Tuvix. Tuvok and Neelix got in a transporter accident.”

“Argghhh,” said The Doctor. “No one ever tells me what’s going on around here.”

Suddenly, Tuvix’s ears bled. “ERMMM!!!! WHAT IN THE ACKSHULLY IS THAT SONG!?”

The Doctor was super pissed. “I’ll have you know that this is my favorite song.” He said angrily. He sang, “FROM THE SCREEN TO THE RING TO THE PEN TO THE KING WHERES MY CROWN THATS MY BLING ALWAYS DRAMA WHEN I RING!!!!!”

“Bro actually thought he ate.” Tom Paris said while laying on the bio beds. He still had some lizard characteristics, such as the tail, so it was really hard for him to mew without having to change his gyatt position every 5 seconds. Janeway was there too, and as Tuvix looked at her, he realized he was blushing in the same way Kes and Chakotay were.

“Hey you beta!” Janeway called to The Doctor. “Who is this mf?”

The Doctor sighed. “Tuvok and Neelix got combined bruh.”

“Bro…that sucks.”

“REAL!” The Doctor exclaimed. “He doesn’t even like my music taste!”

Janeway mewed. “Blud no KSI song is a bop wtf man.”

Tuvix tried not to giggle, because Janeway was so rizzful.

“So, when are we gonna get Tuvok and Neelix back?” Janeway asked The Doctor.

“Soon,” he said, with a huge smirk on his face.

“NOOOOO!!!!” Tuvix cried. “PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF AN ALPHA MALE!!!!”

Janeway looked at Tuvix, and she realized he had kind of a jawline. “Have you been mewing lately?” She asked.

“No?”

“Bruh never mind.”

Chapter 4: THE EPIC EDGING BATTLE pt 1: Tom Paris is moaning

“HES MY EDGER!!” Kes screamed angrily. “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO RIZZ HIM UP!!!” Janeway was very angry so she yeeted Kes with her lizard tail.

“GRRRRRRRR!!” Kes exclaimed. “SKIBIDI TOILET AHH TAIL!!”

Janeway lowkey didn’t really care cause she was just a chill guy who lowkey didn’t really care.

The Doctor looked at Tom Paris.

Tom Paris moaned, “If you don’t hawk tuah, then I won’t talk tuah.”

The Doctor sighed and then proceeded to spit on that thang.

“Ugggghhhh,” Paris mogged. “Now glaze my lizard toes.”

The Doctor looked at how dry and sad his toes were. “Only if it gives you aura.”

Meanwhile, Tuvix was watching Janeway and Kes fight. “THATS IT!” Janeway announced. “I CHALLENGE YOU…..TO AN EPIC EDGING BATTLE!!!”

The Doctor gasped. “Did I hear what I thought I heard?” He smiled. “Ah, I remember the first edging battle on this ship.”

Kes rolled her eyes.

The Doctor continued, “It was when we first lost our aura-“

“GRRRRRR!!!!” Janeway screamed. “SILENCE!!!” Tuvix watched quietly as Janeway and Kes edged violently. Kes moaned….Janeway moaned….they both moaned…. The Doctor was still getting Tom Paris oiled up. Tuvix was still worried about his aura points.

“Gyatttttt.” Said Tom.

“Bruh,” said The Doctor.

“Shush.”

“Okay…..Alpha.” Tom moaned freakily.

Suddenly someone yelled, “SKIBIDI TOILET!!! ENSIGN KIM IS PREGNANT!!”

Chapter 5: THE EPIC EDGING BATTLE pt 2: Ensign Kim is pregnant

“But how?” The Doctor asked. “He can’t be pregnant, he’s a man.”

B’elanna explained, “So you know that Quinn guy? Well it turns he and Harry Kim secretly fell in love and so Quinn used his magic aura points to make him pregnant.”

Harry Kim was furious. “Doctor, B’elanna is lying. Chakotay is the father.”

The Doctor lowkey didn’t really care, because he was still in the middle of massaging Tom’s lizard toes.

“Bruh,” Tom said to Kim, “YOU MOG SOMEONE ELSE, HUH?! YOU STUPID BETA! THATS IT, WERE NOT RIZZING NO MORE!!!”

Kim looked at him awkwardly, “Erm, we were never dating, what the sigma are you talking about? Also, why is The Doctor getting you oiled up?”

Tom was cooked.

Meanwhile, Janeway and Kes were still doing their epic edging battle. Janeway was edging so fast barely anyone could identify her aura. Kes got blinded by the light of her mewing. “NOOOO!!!” Said Kes, “AHHHHHH!!!” Janeway’s streak of edging light was so powerful that it lowkey ate and left no crumbs. Kes died.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!” B’elanna cried, “MY UWU COTTAGE CORE DISCORD KITTEN!!!!”

Harry smirked. “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied to The Doctor about who the father to my child is!!!”

“The gacha heat is wild.” Tuvix exclaimed.

“SHUT UP, TUVIX!!!! NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!” B’elanna yelled angrily.

Tuvix lost so much aura that he never won a dress to impress game ever again.

Chapter 6: Tuvix gets unalived I think

“Golly gee,” Janeway announced. “Looks like I won the epic edging battle.”

Tuvix blushed. “Now we can get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂.”

The Doctor sighed. “Well, sorry to burst yer bubble, but I have just found a way to bring Tuvok and Neelix back. And also to make you lizard folk human again.”

“GRRRRRRR!!!!” said Janeway.

Tuvix knew what he had to do because queen never cry. “WAIT! THEY DONT LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU!!!!!!”

The Doctor side eyed bro. “Chat, I barely know you.”

Tuvix was lowkey cooked. He looked at the dead body of Kes. “Erm, shouldn’t we have a funeral for bro or smth?”

B’elanna blushed kawaii just thinking about her. Tom Paris started hitting the griddy. Harry was in labor. The Doctor was rewriting his program subroutines to emit the perfect jawline.

Tuvix sighed. No one cares about me. “Do it,” he said sadly, “Kill me. I deserve it. I’m a mistake.” He said to The Doctor.

“Just put the fries in the bag bro.”

Bro did the transporter thing and now Tuvok and Neelix are mewing again. The Doctor also cured Janeway and Tom’s incurable beta disease somehow.

“Erm, hi Mr. Vulcan, I mean…alpha male…I’m your discord kitten, right?” Neelix said in his gacha life male anime protagonist ahh voice.

“No, wtf-“ Tuvok was cut off as he heard Harry moan violently.

“Oh my sigma!” B’elanna exclaimed. “It’s a lizard baby!!”

“That’s enough sick bay for today.” Tom said as he proceeded to leave.

“We can be a polycule right?” Janeway and Tuvok asked Neelix.

“Sure skibidi slicers.”

THE END😤😤😤

[star-trek-fandom-confessions]

About all the following discussion surrounding confession #718: I think y'all read too much into it. Imma try not go too much into details but I'll start by stating I see where both sides of the debate come from.

For now let's ignore any mention of the original series being made in the 60s and also any implication of sexual tension with the "bickering". I will also only talk of the original character depictions.

Fact: McCoy many times unnecessarily makes fairly insulting comments to Spock about being Vulcan. Also fact: this only applies to Spock. Throughout the series and movies, he never makes any comments torward other Vulcans, like Sarek, Saavik or Valeris. This is because Spock is half Vulcan and is explicitely shown to be disgusted at his Human side (yes, that makes him racist as someone else pointed out), and because of that trying to force, prove his Vulcanness to a point it would be unnatural even for a full Vulcan, and McCoy doesn't like or understand that, which his why most of his actually offensive remarks ("slurs", i'll come back to that) happen in a critical moment when Spock is convinced acting the most Vulcan way possible is what will work when it's shown not to (whether or not it's a valid way to let out frustration is another debate). Replace Spock with Tuvok and you wouldn't see any of that. Throughout TOS Bones shows a respect to the differences of other cultures, including defending Spock's Vulcan side when outsiders act genuinely hostile torward him for being a Vulcan.

About the slurs, it seems like a lot of people equate McCoy's insults to ethnic slurs, but there's no indication they're established slurs at all and I highly doubt this, looks more like only McCoy's using obscure words to criticize Spock. I just wanted to clarify that because I think it's an important detail.

Now about the original series being made in the 60s. Ignoring actual racist sentiments, as someone who has read historical memoirs from early-middle 20th century (period in which the creators grew up), making explicit comments about a friend's racial and ethnic background without any ill intent wasn't uncommon, if just to give a little more context.

About the bickering and sexual tension: besides the "old married couple" energy (which personally makes me slightly uncomfortable) and comments about private anatomical differences, I too dislike the idea racist comments would imply anything (from both parties). Besides, it goes with a lot of mischaracterization of Spock and his private life, and on a side-note, I've come to kind of try to ignore any shipping content of Spock with anyone because I feel like people reaaaally misunderstand him and that annoys me.

About the Katra sharing etc: it is explicitely shown in TOS and the movies that Spock and McCoy are as a matter of fact very close to each other (from their interactions but most importantly their body language, especially considering Spock's Vulcan heritage) and implying that he had to deal with McCoy as workplace courtesy, and that he wasn't at least one of Spock's first choices for Katra-storing (a deeply personal procedure) is dishonest at best (besides knocked out Scotty was right there!) I can only think of Kirk and maybe Saavik before him.

Hopefully this is the last ask related to this confession as it seems this whole discussion is starting to get judgmental. Force to OP for having to deal with us, lol.

.

[enby-andi]

I've reblogged a post from a star trek blog and I mentioned this episode of voyager but screw it I wanna talk about this episode because imo it's more fucked up than threshold.

SEASON 5, EPISODE 17: "Course: Oblivion"

The episode starts out really nice!!! There's a wedding going on in the mess hall!!! Tom and B'elanna are getting married!!! Chakotay walks her down the aisle!!! Seven catches the bouquet!!!

After that everything is Same as Always. They are trying something new with the engines. B'elanna is telling Seven what to do while she and Tom are on their honeymoon. She goes to their quarters and IMMEDIATELY gets sick (and not the fanfiction "Congratulations! :)" sick).

Tom finds her and takes her to sickbay. The doctor diagnoses her with cellular degradation due to radiation. The rest of the crew are trying to figure out why. Chakotay and Tuvok are trying to figure out why parts of the ship and replicated food are going bad and immediately disintegrating except for food Neelix has gotten from other stops on the route for the past six months.

And the B'ELANNA FUCKING DIES.

SHE FUCKING DIES WITH TOM CRYING HER NAME AND TELLING THE DOCTOR TO KEEP TRYING AND THE DOCTOR RESIGNEDLY STOPPING REVIVAL ACTIONS.

Tuvok and Chakotay go over all their travel logs and realize something. They go to sickbay where Tom is grieving his FRESHLY DEAD WIFE and tell the Doctor to inject her with a solution.

AND B'ELANNA TURNS INTO A PUDDLE OF MERCURY LOOKING LIQUID.

AS IT TURNS OUT, THIS ENTIRE CREW AND THE VOYAGER SHIP ARE DUPLICATES MADE OF THIS FLUID THAT HAVE ALL THE EXACT SAME MEMORIES AS THE ORIGINALS BUT FORGOT THEY WERE DUPLICATES.

And I'm sure you're asking: Andi, when could this have happened???? It happened in the episode "Demon" ONE WHOLE SEASON AGO IN 4X24. These biomimetic lifeforms (called Silver Blood) from a demon class planet duplicated the entire crew and the ship because they had never encountered human DNA before. Janeway let them because otherwise they couldn't have gotten the dilithium they needed safely.

SO THE ENTIRE CREW AND SHIP ARE DUPLICATES AND ARE SLOWLY DISENTEGRATING AND IT IS HORRIFYING. EVERYONE BEGINS TO LOOK LIKE A CRONENBERG EXTRA. PEOPLE ARE DYING. JC LITERALLY HAVE A MOMENT AND HE FUCKING DIES. JANEWAY GETS THEM OUT OF ONE LAST SPACE CONFRONTATION AND THEN SHE FUCKING DIES IN THE CAPTAIN'S CHAIR. HARRY KIM IS NOW THE CAPTAIN BUT DEAR GOD THE COST AND THE ONLY SENIOR STAFF LEFT ARE SEVEN ANS NEELIX.

After Chakotay dies, Janeway had ordered the crew to try to find the OG Voyager crew so that they can duplicate them again and get a few more months so they can find another demon class planet to survive on. Harry and Seven are pushing the ship to its limits. They can only use impulse, life support, and can barely send out a distress signal. A ship is approaching. Harry braces himself for a confrontation. Something in engineering explodes.

The Ship is the OG Voyager. They got the distress signal. They notice it's gone. They turn on the view screen -

The duplicate Voyager has completely disintegrated into the liquid. The OG Voyager is confused as hell as to what happened here, but make a note of it and move on.

What I found the most fucked up??? After this episode, the viewER HAS NO IDEA IF THE EPISODES BETWEEN "DEMON" AND "C:O" DETAILED THE EVENTS OF THE OG VOYAGER OR THE DUPLICATE ONE. IF IT WAS EVER MADE CLEAR PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I HAVE BEEN HAUNTED BY THIS EPISODE SINCE I WAS IN THE 5TH GRADE AND I NEED CLOSURE!!!!

AND!!!!! IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE THEY GOT SO CLOSE!!!! THEY ALMOST MADE IT!!!! BUT THEY WERE TOO LATE AND DIED!!!! ITS SO FUCKING TRAGIC 😭😭😭😭