#not trying to be snotty I really do forget people do that

[lilnasxvevo]

Saying someone acts like they’re on Adderall always throws me for a loop as an #actuallyadhd Adderall taker because I’m like oh you mean they are about as calm and focused as the average person? Ahh nvm you mean they act like someone who does not have ADHD who has taken a large amount of Adderall, I forgot people do that

[dinoplantsghost]

pairing: Tom Riddle x fem! original character

warning(s): tom is a warning in itself, 1940s: time-accurate prejudice, one or two racist comment(s) and mention of n@z!s, teenage behavior: drama and language, mention of Walpurgisnacht and Christianity, there's probably more but idk

word count: ~4515

Disclaimer: I have a huge google doc that holds all of my drafts and I'm quite literally just copypasting everything, so if there are any typos/errors, no there isn't!! :)

-- okay now this one kind of eats, I just skimmed through it and I lowkey forgot I wrote this

Chapter List

The Knights of Walpurgis [7]

13:15 - Wednesday 18th

Tracy had bumped into Saoirse during their shared free period before lunch, his lips not in their usual smile when he dragged her off campus to a bench near the Black Lake. 

He was concerned about his friends—or ‘their’ friends, as he had phrased it. For once, Saoirse understood what it was like to “be in the know” and be part of a unit of people. 

“I tried talking to Ava,” he sighed. “But she gets all emotional whenever I bring it up; I just want to understand what happened, but I guess I get why she doesn’t want to tell me. Maybe it was bad or something.” 

“Griffin was telling me something about it after the first Quidditch match, although very vaguely. He was mostly talking to himself, it seemed like.” 

“Really? I’m surprised, considering how much he didn’t like you when I first introduced you to each other.” Tracy leaned back, his brows furrowed as a hand reached up to pinch at his delicate skin. “What did he say?” 

Saoirse shrugged. “In all honesty, I wasn’t paying attention; I’m not used to comforting people and he was too busy crying to really say anything interesting or important.”

Despite her insistence that she didn’t remember much, Saoirse went into detail about how Eugene had wept over Ava-Lynn and how she “broke his heart.” She always took the opportunity to talk her mouth off. 

Tracy, usually thirsty for drama and all of its wondrous theatrical moments, paused. “Eugene and Ava? Together? I don’t believe it,” he huffed. “Ava’s a great person with strong morals. And I mean, Eugene is my friend and all, but…” 

Saoirse shrugged once more. He clearly knew them better than her and yet he was just as confused.

The boy shook his head, his shaggy hair hitting his cheeks as he rubbed his eyelids. “Thanks for telling me. I don’t think Ava would have told me that even if I threatened her; I would be embarrassed too. But also, there’s something else I needed to talk to you about.”  Tracy pulled his legs up, sitting tailor-fashioned on the bench, smearing mud and grass on his trousers. “You know we share Defense classes, right,” he asked. “Because I’ve seen you hanging out with those guys lately—the ones from Slytherin. If you were smarter, you’d stop talking to them.” 

Saoirse frowned. “That’s exactly what Patrick said about you and Griffin the other day. He said any friend of Griffin’s isn’t good.” 

“Well, that nerd is a hypocrite,” he scoffed. “Every one of his friends, including him, is a no good, snotty, rich boy raised on outdated ideals. They’re no better than the Nazis we hear about from the Muggle war.” 

Well, he wasn’t wrong about that, she thought. 

“But Patrick is really nice,” she argued. “He told me that he hates the Sacred Twenty-Eight; he wants nothing more than to be on his own when he finishes school.” 

“He’s obviously lying. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, as they say.” 

“What do you mean? What apple?” 

“Nevermind,” he groaned. Tracy stood from the bench, doing nothing to wipe off the grim from his uniform. “Forget what I said; it’s an idiom you don’t get yet. But either way, don’t come running to me when that group decides to throw you to the side, Saoirse.” 

It was not until lunchtime did Tracy try to talk to Saoirse again. After their conversation at the bench, the boy left in frustration since she did not understand why he disliked Patick when he had Eugene Griffin as a friend. In her eyes, he had no right telling her who to be around when that Hufflepuff student was clearly just as bad. 

When lunch rolled around, she didn’t entertain his attempts at conversation because she was too busy scratching at arithmancy work that was due within the next hour or so. Saoirse wasn’t horrible at mathematics, per se; it’s the way symbols and numbers danced around on the tree pulp that annoyed her. Mahoutokoro had a different way of calculating things, and Arithmancy was completely separate from what she was formally taught from a young age. Saoirse still had a hard time handling a quill, and her handwriting needed to be small so each equation could fit nicely on the same page. Her eyes also strained if she looked at her work for too long, which is one of many reasons she was currently sitting at the Ravenclaw lunch table alone, her back curled over as she scribbled away slowly. With each snag her quill hit on the parchment and each ink bubble that burst and melted into her skin, she felt closer to committing another murder. Maybe it would be better if it was her that was dying this time around. 

Luckily, she was able to finish the assignment in time. Arithmancy class always went by faster than her brain processing every little thing she wrote. By the time she was out of the classroom and following her peers down the hall like a school of fish, her thumb had difficulty flexing and stretching out her fingers did not get rid of the tense feeling in her hand. 

As she walked into Merrythought’s classroom, Saoirse pinched the bridge of her nose to numb the throbbing pain in her head as she plopped down next to Patrick, who fortunately recovered just fine after the start of the month. 

“Are you alright,” he asked. “You’re pinching your nose again.” 

He dug around in his satchel, pulling out a small glass container with clumpy circles of brown. The boy gave one to Saoirse, a thin layer of sugar melting from the warmth of her palm. “My family gets these Godiva treats every time we visit Belgium,” he explained. “We’re not supposed to do this at school, but I infuse the share I get with soothing elixirs I make in my spare time. I have this thing called astigmatism, so I get headaches and migraines often.” 

She took a small bite, her front teeth sore from the sweet’s brittleness. “It’s very sweet,” she muttered. “Almost too sweet…”

Patrick blushed, embarrassed that Saoirse didn’t like it. “Oh, well, you don’t have to eat it all! I’m sorry you don’t like it!”

She waved a hand. “No, I will,” she replied. “I’m just not used to it. I like it.” 

As the girl took another bite, she was unaware of the smear of crumbs on the corner of her mouth. Without another thought, Patrick cupped her cheek, flicking flecks of almond and caramelized sugar. 

Eloise, along with the other Knights, made a noise of discomfort. “Get a room,” he whined. “No one wants to see that, Patrick.” 

The Austrian boy froze, pulling his touch away from Saoirse’s cheek dusted in pink and red.  “Sorry…”

───────────

The Transfiguration Professor was odd. In her mind, he resembled the many (old as fuck) men she saw in Japan, though he was not nearly as old. He always wore lavender robes, and insisted on speaking in a way that drove her to insanity. Albus Dumbledore, the Head of the Gryffindor House, always spoke softly. He spoke so delicately, in fact, that his breath would slip through the little gap in his front teeth, causing his speech to have a whistle throughout. It sounded like a fork dragging against a porcelain plate, a sound she only recently discovered her first night in the Great Hall. 

When Dumbledore asked Saoirse to speak to him during her free time after Defense Against the Dark Arts, she wanted to bang her head against a desk. She had heard stories about him from Merrythought. He had a male lover that he was enemies with, apparently. 

“I hope Hogwarts has been to your liking,” the old man said. “I’m sure your former school was very enchanting. I’ve always wanted to visit Mahoutokoro, you see.” 

“Hogwarts has been very kind to me, sir, much better than Mahoutokoro.” 

“Wonderful! It’s always good to see the positive in every change and shift in life, after all. Now, how are you doing socially? Any friends? Like that Mayfield boy, Tracy.” 

“I’m not that close to Mayfield. I would consider him more of an acquaintance; I believe that is the word.”

Dumbledore hummed, his eyes twinkling as he fiddled with his beard. “I see…Are you having trouble finding eagles to group with, dear?”

Saoirse shook her head. “No, sir, I just find myself around Patrick Nott and his group more often.” 

The man sighed. He plucked his eyewear from his wobbling nose, wiping the grime off with a smooth cloth. “Saoirse, dear, the reason I have pulled you aside is because I am worried,” he frowned. “And while you are an eagle rather than a lion, it is my duty as an adult and a teacher to make sure every student is doing well. Now, I say this out of the concern from your friend—no, your acquaintance, as you referred to him. Mister Mayfield only wants the best for you, as do I.” 

Saoirse’s brows furrowed. “I beg your pardon?”

“Mister Mayfield has told me of the group you surround yourself with, Saoirse, and with my own eyes I can say with a full heart that these boys will give you nothing but trouble.” 

He leaned against his desk, clasping his hands as he stared at the Japanese girl with a sorrowful expression. “I fear Saoirse, amongst that group of Slytherins, is a boy who is too dark, too far into his ambitions to be deemed safe. He is dangerous. Any involvement with him will throw you off a path of light and good.” 

The girl craned her neck. She was sure her face was stuck with her lip pulling at the corner, her eyes darting around to avoid the old man’s gaze. “Professor,” she laughed. “I can assure you that none of them are ‘dangerous.’ They’re teenage boys that are driven by hormones, food, and sports.” 

“No,” Dumbledore argued. “You’re not understanding, Saoirse. Amongst those boys is a tortured soul, one that cannot be healed or fixed by any means. Mister Mayfield came to me in hopes that you would realize the dangers these Slytherins put you in.” 

Saoirse crossed her arms, scoffing. Mayfield was hardly any character to throw his opinion into her life. “With all due respect sir, I barely know Mayfield and he barely knows those boys. Patrick and his friends are nothing but dumb airheads, especially that Riddle kid; he drives me insane.” 

“In what way?”

“That boy needs to be humbled,” she sighed. “He’s brash. He thinks he has this authority over everyone. He’s really not all that.” 

“Would you care to elaborate,” Dumbledore pushed. “While Tom is destined for greatness, that is for sure, the boy is very troubled.” 

The girl was silent, her jaw tensing in thought. “I’m sorry, sir,” she drawled. “I hardly think it’s my place to speak of Riddle’s issues, especially when I couldn’t care any less.” Saoirse stood from her chair, letting the legs scratch against the wooden floor of the man’s office. “Now if you’d excuse me, I’d like to enjoy my free time before History of Magic.” 

Ignoring Dumbledore’s demanding gaze, Saoirse’s legs took a stride out of his office and away from his classroom. She glided through each hallway, twisting and turning each corner as her mind honed in on the plans forming in her head. 

She had every reason to stick by those boys in green, to keep an eye on that sick fuck who took his “friends” for granted. It wasn’t hard to see how the others were strangled around his finger. Considering Rosier’s speech the night she was informed of their little club, it only confirmed the rumors she had heard, most of them from Mayfield. And while she never had friends before, it wasn’t rocket science to have basic human decency. 

But she was curious, so fucking curious as to why Riddle seemed to have put it upon himself to carry the burdens of an entire aristocratic group of blue bloods. According to Patrick, Riddle was never a name within the Sacred Twenty-Eight. He was a nobody, to put it simply. Yet somehow, by some miracle, he was at the center of some of Europe’s powerful heirs of their generation. 

There was darkness in the boy; that was something she could agree on with Dumbledore. During her spar in Merrythought’s classroom, Riddle was cold and calculated, but he was easily aggravated—”trigger happy” is what Patrick called it. Riddle gets jealous whenever the spotlight trails off him, causing a controlled temper tantrum of sorts in order to regain his title as the model student. 

It didn’t take long for her feet to drag all the way to the Slytherin dungeons. The password slipped past her lips, and she ignored the harsh stares from those in green as she looked for the familiar door with the number ‘13’ on it. 

The door swung open, Miles Lestrange leaning against the frame with crossed arms. “If you’re looking for your boyfriend, he isn’t here,” he smirked. “Patrick’s in the library, as usual.” 

“I’m not looking for Patrick, I’m looking for Riddle. What’s his door number?” 

Lestrange curled a brow in interest, pushing himself off the door frame as he mused, “Oh? You’re already bored of Florian? How rude of you, Saoirse.” 

“Florian?” 

“Yeah, that’s Patrick’s middle name.” He ran a hand through his curls. “Anyways, why do you need Tom?” 

“I just need to talk to him,” she frowned. 

Miles sighed, “His door number is seven; he rooms with ‘Brax, Louis, and Cass’.” 

With a small thanks, Saoirse retraced her steps, eyes dancing to the bold, black number on teak wood. The girl did not have many hopes of speaking to the boy today, but when she rapped her knuckles on the door, it was quick to snap open and make her jump out of her skin. 

It was odd to see Riddle in simpler clothing. He didn’t have his robe on, nor his gray sweater vest. Instead, he only wore the Oxford shirt all students were required to wear, along with his green and silver tie that hung loose under his collar. He did not speak, expecting Saoirse to have words roll off her tongue with ease, only to realize her eyebrows were crumpled up as she gathered her English. 

“I don’t have all day, you know,” he uttered, a breath of annoyance flushing past his nostrils. “Midterms are coming up; you should be studying instead of wandering off.” 

When the girl stayed silent, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Before he could slam the door, however, she spoke: 

“Let me join that stupid club of yours, Riddle.” 

Tom froze, the Adam’s apple in his neck bobbing as he turned on the ball of his foot. “Whatever Nott told you is none of your business.” 

“It became my business when you beat up the poor boy for rightfully spending his free time with whomever he chooses. Besides, he was following your dumb orders regardless.” 

Tom yanked Saoirse by her collar, throwing her inside the vacant dorm. The door finally slammed shut, the flame from the fireplace flickering against his high cheekbones and set jaw. 

“What did those idiots tell you,” he demanded through clenched teeth. It didn’t take long for the distance between the teens to close, Tom’s long legs taking strides to push Saoirse against the beam of Cassius’ four-poster bed. 

“They told me everything.”

“Really, everything?” 

“Everything they wanted to tell me before Orion demanded that I get some sleep.”

Saoirse hated how tall the boy was. People were rarely his height in Mahoutokoro, but it seemed like European genetics had these boys shooting for the stars. Through her lashes and frames, she could see how flared his nose was, how his lip was in permanent disgust at the thought of her being in his presence. 

Hesitant, Saoirse forced her tongue away from her inner cheek as she spoke, “Dumbledore spoke to me a while back…He seemed weirdly obsessed with you. I just wanted to know why.” 

Apparently, the mere mention of the man was enough to set the boy off. His eyes flashed with anger, perhaps even fear, but it was difficult to tell when Tom distanced himself from the girl to pace around the middle of the room. 

“What,” she smirked. “Do you have a secret affair with him or something? Trust me, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen such a—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he hissed. He turned to face her, a finger pointed in her direction as he pressed, “What did he say to you?” 

“I may or may not have spoken of you in a negative light,” she shrugged. “Dumbledore was trying to ask what I knew of you, which isn’t much.” 

Saoirse sighed, taking off her frames to rub her tired eyes. She sat down on Mulciber’s bed, letting her legs hang from the side as she laid down on his unmade sheets. “Whatever you’re trying to do with the Chamber of Secrets, It’s obvious that he knows.” She ignored the noise that came from his throat. “Senile men are a lot smarter than people would like to think; more deceitful as well.” 

She was met with silence, with the occasional crackling from the logs under the fire. 

“I don’t see the point in you being a Knight,” Tom said. “You’re only doing this for Nott.” 

“So,” she questioned. “You would be getting more out of your posse if I joined, regardless of my reasons. You would make a pretty shitty cult leader if you didn’t take advantage of your members, you know.” 

“And what makes you think the Knights of Walpurgis isn’t already a cult?”

The ashes under the flame fluttered, logs crumbling further down in prolonged silence. 

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

TR~S 

Saoirse did not know what to expect when she followed three boys in the middle of the night. After Astronomy class, Tom guided her, along with Patrick and Mulciber, up the castle. She never really got used to the moving stairs, but by the time they made it to the seventh floor, Saoirse’s head was already spinning and her hands clung onto Nott’s arm. 

The four of them moved quickly, footsteps light against the limestone flooring. Corner after corner, corridor after corridor, the teens finally stopped in the middle of a fork. Tom, the self-appointed line leader, walked up to the towering wall in front of them before pacing back and forth. Soon, the floor received residual shocks as the wall shook and split in the middle to open up. 

Patrick nudged Saoirse along, shutting her slack jaw with a forefinger. “You’re going to catch a fly in your mouth, Schatzi.” 

Seeing the girl in awe of one of the many hidden treasures Hogwarts had to offer, Cassius slapped a friendly hand to her back. “You’ll get used to it,” he chuckled. “I remember when we first found the Come-and-Go Room; our buddy Patrick here had the same reaction. You two are cute together, by the way.”

“Don’t say that,” hissed Patrick, his glasses fogged and his ears red. “Saoirse, Cassius doesn’t mean that at all, he’s just joking!”

The foreigner only smiled, amused by how Patrick’s eyebrows always curled whenever he was nervous. She followed the boys inside, craning her neck to inspect the castle’s magical and ever-changing architecture once more. Saoire always loved buildings, especially those built in the period of Gothic architecture. She loved how stained windows had become popular then, and she especially loved the Biblical iconography of the Christian faith, how it drowned cathedrals and other buildings in symbolism. 

Saoirse was pulled out of her trance by Patrick again, leading her to an ellipse-shaped table. He pulled out a chair for her before taking a seat next to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she witnessed Mulciber attempting to do the same for Rosier, only for his burly hands to be swatted away by his friend. 

“Now that everyone is here,” Tom drawled. “Patrick, if you could start the meeting.”

The boy in question nodded, his eyes fierce behind his perched frames. He stood, his chair scraping against the tile before he spoke, “The date is Thursday, November 19th, 1942. The time is 1:29 in the morning. All members are present and accounted for, along with one guest.” He glanced down at Saoirse, who had her eyes set on his figure the entire time. “The Knights of Walpurgis’ second meeting of the fall term is now in session.” 

Tom thanked Patrick with a wave of his hand, allowing the boy to sit down before speaking. He stayed standing, opting to pace at the head of the table.  “As you can see, men, we have a willing candidate to become our next knight.” 

With each word he spoke, Tom held onto the boys’ attention; moths to a raging flame. Their backs were straight, hands in their lap as they kept their heads high and their loyalty even higher. Saoirse had never seen Avery so serious before. 

“It has also come to my attention,” Tom mused. “That Dumbledore is attempting to thwart our plans once more. But do not worry; we have gotten past his insistence before.” He gestured a hand to Saoirse, signaling her to rise from her seat. “The girl has been in our presence for long enough, it seems. Saoirse, do you understand what the Knights of Walpurgis stand for?” 

She could only shrug. “I have some semblance of a mission, I guess.” 

“The origins of our name, the Knight of Walpurgis, comes from the holiday of Walpurgisnacht,” Patrick explained. “Walpurga was a saint long ago, known for battling diseases and witchcraft. She converted many people to Christianity and was sought after for protection against our practices. The holiday lasts from April 30th to May 1st, commemorating her canonization as a saint.

“We reclaimed the meaning of Walpurgisnacht. Just as she protected those from witchcraft and magic, we want to protect those from Muggles and their violent attempts at eliminating our populations. We, the Knights of Walpurgis, want to eliminate non magic folk, just as Muggle have done to us in the past in a similar fashion.” 

It made sense, Saoirse thought. However, surely not every Muggle had the same opinions. She turned to Tom, questions pooling in her mind. “So what does this have to do with the Chamber of Secrets?”

“As I’m sure the boys have told you,” he responded. “The Chamber is said to hold the very monster Salazar Slytherin planned to use himself. Our main problem is that the Chamber cannot be located.” 

“And you’ve checked everywhere?” 

“Yes, we’ve checked the library, asked people in the Sacred Twenty-Eight; there is nothing.” 

“Hogwarts: A History has a section on Salazar Slytherin, albeit small. It said that he was a Parselmouth and apparently, only those from his direct bloodline can inherit this ability. Maybe that’s why it can’t be found.” 

It was like a lightbulb had gone off—though, lightbulbs were made by Muggles, and electricity barely made sense to the Pureblood heirs. Eloise downed the drink in front of him—presumably alcohol— slamming his glass down to the table in fervor. 

“I knew Asians were smart,” he laughed. “But not this smart! It makes so much sense!” Eloise turned to Tom, arms outstretched in excitement. “Tom—sorry, my Lord, you’re a direct descendant of Salazar!” 

Saoirse ignored the weird title. Maybe they had a similar hierarchy system here, like Japan. 

“Yes, Avery, that’s an amazing observation.” Tom smiled ugly, stopping any laughter from bubbling in Avery’s throat. “Obviously I’ve thought of that, you idiot.”

It made sense now. That’s why Riddle was accepted into the group so easily. But still, as Saoirse picked at the chipped and frayed wood of the table, her mind could not wrap around the fact that the boy’s surname held no importance, no connection to any Pureblood family. Even with that information, it also wasn’t plausible for his status to be anything but Pureblood; his lineage made sure of that.

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out soon enough,” smiled Miles. “After all, we have until the end of fall term.” 

“Which families were closest to Slytherin’s descendants,” Saoirse asked. “Surely there has to be something in an office or study.” 

“We’ve tried that,” Abraxas frowned. “We even asked MIles’ mum, who practically knows everyone in Europe. The next family that would be closest would be mine, but I’ve been looking since last summer; my father has nothing.” 

Tom spoke, his words carrying hopeful encouragement to his lackeys. “That is why I have decided to bring you tonight, Saoirse. With your foreign knowledge, we could broaden our horizons.” 

The girl could only shift in her seat to cross her arms and legs. “You really think Salazar Slytherin brought a creature from Japan all the way to the middle of nowhere in Scotland?” The look in his eyes gave everything away to her; he knew it was a stretch, too. “Look,” she sighed. “Japan really only has spirits and demons. There’s nothing I can think of that would have that much power. Sure, there are yōkai that look like snakes, which seems like something Slytherin would be particular about, but again, like I said; nothing from Japan could have the type of power to kill entire populations.” 

“Well, no matter,” he sighed. “It is just as Miles said: we have until the end of the fall term.” Tom waved an arm, prompting the girl to stand up and make her way to his side. “I’m sure you’re tired, Saoirse. It’s not usual to be up this late in the night. Before you leave, though, it is customary for all Knights to be…inducted, if you will. If I could have your left arm, please.”

───────────

“Which one of you thought it was good for the girl to know of our plans?” Tom sighed for the umpteenth time, his stomach churning with disappointment as none of the boys sitting before him could get a word out in full confidence. 

“It was Eloise,” Abraxas tensed. “He accidentally told Saoirse about the Chamber, but Orion eventually convinced her to join for Patrick’s sake.” 

Surprisingly, Tom did not blow up towards Avery’s mistake. “Orion, good job,” he mused. “This is very pleasant to hear. I’m glad to know that at least one of you knows how to seize an opportunity, the behavior of a true Slytherin.” 

It was very rare for Tom to throw compliments. If he praised you, then he was just a smidge happy; if he was happy, then there was a lesser chance of him being mad. No one liked when he was mad. If you could gain Tom’s acknowledgement, you were given the highest doses of immunity one could obtain. 

In the eyes of his followers, gaining merciful immunity was the ultimate goal, even if it meant sabotaging those closest to you.

Credit(s): Dividing banner (^^^) by Chen Lu (1436 - 1449) - "Plum Blossoms in Moonlight" scroll painting; sourced through Pinterest

[lord-of-the-bundle-of-sticks]

me sin posting anyway

sins when sicky wicky going in whatever order idk im eepy

Wrath: somehow even more edgier.. rots in his bed most of the time. he doesnt even bother to do anything productive because he finds no point in doing so

he gets mad when people try to make him get out of bed or invade his personal space. he also hates certain medicines and prefers to eat specific foods that he wouldn't eat otherwise ("they're sick foods, why would i eat them if i'm not sick?")

he's not very skilled at taking care of sick people. he just listens to what they want and ask for, and he doesnt try and bug them unless he truly feels like he needs to (ex. if someone is violently coughing their lungs out or throwing up)

Gluttony: he's reduced to a baby. thats it thats the tweet /j

he tries to stay in bed for the most part, but he does also do his regular work out routines and makes his own food. he typically just makes a stew or a salad for himself and only drinks warm things when he's sick. he's the type of guy that you kind of have to force into bed instead of running around and doing stuff

when it comes to taking care of others he coddles them a ton 😭. he makes their food, makes sure they're okay, and stays close so they don't have to go very far to ask for something. he'll encourage them to do some workouts with him but he respects it if they dont want to

Pride (guys pretend its yellow plz): he's dramatic asf but we love him. he complains a lot about his sickness and makes it known that he isn't happy about it in the slightest. unlike wrath he enjoys getting all the extra attention especially if they make him feel superior even while sick

when it comes to taking care of people it's kind of like tough love. he really only takes care of people he truly cares about and even after that it's followed with a "you should be glad i spent time out of my day to take care of you!" but he does take the time to actually make sure you're okay. he feeds you the medicine himself and probably tries to make you feel fancy, even if you're all stuffy and snotty

Envy: oh wow okay

envy's already kind of bad at taking care of himself, so when he's sick it's pretty bad. he has to practically drag himself out of bed to make himself food or to just use the bathroom, and he either forgets to take medication or takes an awkward amount of it. it's safe to say that a caregiver would benefit him, but he hates being a burden to anyone, and he doesn't like feeling vulnerable either

he worries a lot when it comes to taking care of another person while they're sick. he tries not to come off as pushy or annoying as he tries to make them feel better, but sometimes that doesn't work. he's not a great cook but he does follow some recipes for the person so they can at least eat some good food

Greed: ew. anyway

i think greed would probably hate being sick since he feels like nobody actually takes him seriously, which ticks him off because he likes to have power, and a lot of people don't take him seriously in the first place. he doesn't like to come off as weak either

however if he was taking care of someone else i feel like he'd be so overly nice it's uncomfortable. it feels more like a fake kindness than anything, and of course he'd find a way to fuck around with you any chance he could get.

Sloth: sloth is pretty prone to falling sick. he's very similar to envy, not really taking care of himself properly, but he does a lot of sleeping. i think he'd probably end up sleeping more than he already does while hes sick.

he's always kind of in a daze when he's sick. he's honestly in a daze in general but it seems like whenever he's awake he's dissociated or just delirious

he's pretty bad at taking care of people however he does have good intentions. he makes the bed as comfy as he can, but he is pretty lazy so he's probably not the best person to be taking care of someone. he does get the person whatever they want if they ask for it though.

Lust: he tends to be kind of dramatic too, but not as dramatic as pride. he loves self care and making sure that he's healthy, so he reminds himself to take medication and even logs when he takes it so he can measure how much time should pass before he takes another. he likes eating oatmeal and other soups for the most part, and he's likely drinking broth or some hot chocolate.

when he takes care of people he pampers them with everything they could possibly need. he logs everything in a notebook so he knows when the person needs to take more medication, and he's there for comfort and company. he feels pretty alone when he's sick, so he wants to make sure that the person feels happy despite not being in the best shape.

@stanleyvampire14 come get ur food

[aladaylessecondblog]

Red Mountain Waffle House pt. 19

"And there you go. Enjoy yourself."

Jiub handed over what looked like a rolled-up piece of pumpkin-stamped plastic wrap to a Dunmer that quickly left.

"And what exactly was that?" Nibani spoke up, having just come out of the bathroom and noting this gift.

"It's the Witches Festival. I'm giving things out."

"That wasn't a child asking for sweets OR a beggar asking for alms. Was that moon sugar? Skooma, maybe?"

"It's weed. Half my customers are Urshilaku...I'm not seeing the problem here."

"The problem," Nibani huffed, "Is that you're doing it from behind the counter. Do that outside if you have to do it at all."

"In this weather?" Jiub gestured toward the exit. An ash storm had kicked up, and looked to be turning red. "If Sadara were still here I could have her do it. Girl wouldn't catch anything, what with having corprus and all."

There was a brief rush, and for the next half hour they didn't have the chance to talk.

After a chain of waiters and waitresses, Nibani had finally been unable to find anyone willing to work the night shift and had taken to doing the duty herself. It had her in none too good a mood, despite the drop in Sixth House related customers. Jiub figured she'd be happy about that, but there'd been more ordinators too, and they were a fair sight more troublesome.

"And when are you going to put on a shirt?"

"Huh?"

"I said, when are you going to put on a shirt?"

"It's my costume!" Jiub protested with a laugh, "I'm one of those weird Sixth House dreamers."

"Really? That's not only lazy--"

"But also blasphemous, yada yada yada." Jiub finished his cigarette and went to trying to scrape up a patch of burned in egg on the grill. "It couldn't be less of a problem. Maybe focus on finding someone that actually wants to work at night?"

"Were you always this snotty?" Nibani grumbled. "Nobody wants to work this shift and deal with the ordinators and cultists anymore."

"And the skooma heads, don't forget about them. You chased off the only person that did. Congrats. Could've had the big man in a better mood, and Nerevar too, but--"

"Nerevar?"

"Yeah, he was by looking for..." Jiub stopped as another couple people showed up. One was dressed as a Telvanni mushroom and the other as a guar. He handed them each a little wrapped up chunk of weed, gave them their orders for waffles, and then went back to the grill. "Anyway, I don't think he's doing the prophecy any more than Sadara was, considering he's currently shtupping the Sharmat."

He nearly dropped the spatula when he heard what she said next.

"What is it about this man that makes Nerevar and his incarnates act SO unwise?"

Not for the first time did Jiub thank his lucky stars that the idea of sex had no power over him. If Dagoth Ur was that much a rizzmaster they might all have been in danger if he'd any interest in anyone unconnected to Nerevar.

--------------------------

"Dwemernet Executive Support, what's your thousand gold per hour problem?" Sotha Sil paused when there was shouting on the other end. "No, your inability to run a team full of bots in Team Fortress 2 is not my problem - yes, you are paying for service, but your disconnect is your own fault."

Another pause.

"Would you prefer to have no access at all?"

Again the sound of shouting on the other end of the call.

"That's not a threat, Dagon, it's a promise." Sotha Sil finished the sentence and moved over to a monitor to the side of his main and largest one. "Choose your next words carefully."

Incomprehensible shrieking.

"Oh," Sotha Sil's voice was momentarily breathy. "Look at that. You just lost access. I'll be sure to let everyone know of Oblivion's dwemernet outage...which I estimate will last at least a day."

He mistyped when there was a particularly loud shout and his headset went to speakerphone.

"--and AFTER I finish pissing out the fire I set to what's left of Ald Sotha, I'm going to build a NEW shrine on top of it and--"

Sotha Sil typed again, and fixed the speakerphone. "I am ending the call. When you feel as though you can behave with decorum and dignity, I will be available to take your call."

He ended the call, and blocked the number's further attempts to get him back on the line. The extinction burst ended only an hour later, and Sotha Sil amused himself in knowing that the daedric princes' policy of self policing would take care of this problem.

The Coldharbour Compact was very mysterious for a reason - for who would believe that the one thing to keep them from crossing over was the threat of no longer maintaining the labyrinthine complications of running the Dwemernet to all planes of Oblivion?

Sotha Sil set the line to Do Not Disturb and left the room.

-----------------------------------

It seemed to be the one day a year nobody minded people wearing an Indoril helm, so long as they were the designated color that ordinators didn't wear...so that was what Sadara had done, with one slight addition - a Spirit Halloween shirt. It felt appropriate, considering. Nerevar's influence here and then not here, replaced with something else.

No, she just didn't want to spend much time or money on a costume when she was too old to really enjoy it anyway. Or at least, too old to enjoy it the way kids did...well, that and not really knowing anyone who would get her into a good party. There were some here in Mournhold, sure, but...

Eh, do I really WANT to go to a party, though, considering what happened at the last one?

Barenziah was done with her for the day, though, so she went out with a handful of gold pieces and a small bag of candy, handing them out to any beggars or children that asked. The night was a bit chill, so she decided to head down to one of the shops and get a coat.

Wow, she thought. A coat. A NEW coat.

Coat purchased, she went back out and stopped at the newstand. Maybe if Barenziah was so fond of those cigars from Black Marsh, she ought to try them too. A single one wasn't THAT expensive...

...that was her thought, anyway, until she saw her own face on one of the gossip rags and THE DAGOTH DIVORCE.

She huffed. "Divorce, there was barely a marriage to begin with!"

Despite knowing it was probably a bad idea, Sadara decided to buy one and read what was being said inside.

She realized almost immediately that she should've listened to her intuition.

A sad story indeed, this particular marriage. After a courtship that would make most heads spin, a whirlwind romance for the ages, a heart lies in ashes. One can hardly expect the Sharmat to behave decently, but this disloyalty to a bride no doubt in awe of the charisma that won him her hand is a new low.

Sources say that the demon of Dagoth's decision was prompted by Saint Nerevar's revival, being that it was him who held the--

Sadara crumpled up the magazine, threw it into a trashcan next to the newstand, and headed back without even getting the cigar she'd meant to. What in oblivion WAS that, and why was she being portrayed as some sort of lovestruck waif? Why was it she saw or heard about this so often?

New rule, she thought, No more looking at magazine headlines. No looking at Morrowtwitter, not that I was going to anyway. Just go to work and play the lute and maybe pick up another new hobby. Make sure there is never even a remote chance of a thought occurring.

She stayed out a bit longer, though, making sure to hand out the rest of the candy to a couple kids that passed by and on a whim the gold she'd intended to spend on the cigar too, before heading back to the palace.

Sadara practiced in her room with her lute for an hour and, in a turn entirely unlike her, fell asleep at a reasonable time.

At least asleep she didn't have to deal with any of this nonsense.

[istherewifiinhell]

back on the grief train woo woo (day recap) (most serious skip warning yet)

i have a predilectiction to not wanting to record or remember when (like the specific when in time) bad things happen. but in the last couple years of blogging, and i guess the year and change of drawing ive found a lot more appeal of recall. so i wonder if its not so bad to. record the bad. at any rate i dont think. not recording it makes it less real. which i think is the fear. and. my head is doing it anyway.

im doing this coping method questionable activity here instead of a journal becauseeee??? natural format my brains prefers i suppose.

to recap. the bad horrible no good very bad day

- i went to sleep late, as usual. i wake late. same. i prelong getting out of bed. also same. scrolling idly (or 'pre scrolling' the dash. i dont know why i do it)

- screams. screams and distress and misery and comforting a screaming distressed person. various talking down of hysterical lines of thought. (thats not an insult. 1. circumstances 2. understood behavioural trends) the joint and mouth gear i sleep in dont even come off until the screaming is done. have u every pet someones head in a wrist brace?

- lots and lots of crying. more comforting. the gear comes off. i brush my teeth. exhausted sitting and hovering around the. scene of the incident.

- migration to kitchen as food needs win out. all doors shut and all living beings collect. toast is eaten. water drank. etc.

- backup arrives. infomation is gathered. places are looked up and called. plans are formed. actions are taken. i mentally catalogue setimental, soothing, but give upable fabrics.

- i rip up threadbare torn bed sheets. i have to figure out how to get my dead cat into a box.

-he was around 12-15 pounds. we called him toddler sized and shaped. he had a mean punch and strong grasp. i taught him to sit on my shoulders, sometimes.

- realise how much heavier he is now. i cry. i cover him with the sheet. i somehow get it under him. hes stiff. even the tail. i cry. i pet his fur. i sob getting him into the box.

- backup apologizes. im on my knees. wailing. i think. definetly louder than anything ive done yet. backup gestures the dog at me. knowing my situation. distressee entered at some point. gets a hug from back up. i think i am gestured into the hug. i gesture down. im on the floor.

- i wail and am hugged.

- i am invited on the trip to the place. i gestures to my face. my sleep clothes. i dont see it happening. im told i dont need to be strong all the time. i reiterate. i really just wouldnt be able to get my glasses and a mask on.

- i dont see the box. i dont see much. at i dont remember if i have tea now or earlier. i soon as i hear the car go. im crying again. the sister cat meowing didnt help. i dont actually know or belief if that. i have no idea what she experiences. shes a cat. but. yeah.

- blogging happens? sometime happens? people return.

- im told. four years ago he developed a heart murmer. apparently thats a thing. 4 years. bengin to. serious.

- blogging happens. as well as algorithmic irony. i am asked if i want to watch something. i say. shower first. i forget ever song ive ever heard. for a moment. i settle on the album pocket.

- eventually i come down. i get food. we watch a movie. its a good movie. i have a nice exchange with a friend during too.

- i watch some dishes and realise. bizarrely. my old manager might find out about this. the vet was near to my job. the guy was friends with the techs. this was the kind of infomation he would share with me at times.

- youtube videos until the group disbands.

- i start recounting this my head

- i am wearing pjs i dont like. whatever the level for snotty sleeves where u chuck a set in the hamper has surely been met.

- typing this. using a spare pillow case as a hanky

- im gonna go and try and find the horse traqulizer of pleasant youtube videos.

[askthechronoverse]

Chapter Four: Truth from a Thousand Lies

Last Chapter •||• Next Chapter

The party went on into the night, but Rex was able to sneak away to lie on his bed in the quiet. His door creaked open. 

"Yeah, don't knock or anythin' to make sure I'm awake." He sat up and saw Puppycorn's silhouette from the doorway. "Oh. Hey, kid. Need somethin'?" The puppy jumped onto the bed, sitting across from his friend.

"I forget you were sleepin' up here now and went to the lab."

"Should be easier to see me now, huh? Didja just wanna hang out, kid?"

"Yeah. You're always up at night, so I knew ya'd be up right now." Puppycorn pulled a cupcake from nowhere and handed it to Rex. "Saved you a cupcake." 

"Thanks." He put the confectionery on his bedside table. "Did your sister finally get tired and stop the party?"

"Yeah. I think everyone else is asleep now." Puppycorn nodded.

"You should probably sleep too. It's late and take it from me: sleep is important." 

"But you said you can't sleep because of your nightmares."

"Exactly, kid. It's not fun to get no sleep. We can hang out in the morning. Go to sleep."

"Can you tell me a story first?" Puppycorn was stalling, but Rex didn't mind.

"Sure. Once, there was a kid who didn't fit in with the other kids. They thought he was weird, but he just wanted to fit in so bad, he blended with the crowd. One day, he met a strange girl who he quickly fell in love with, but it ended with him being thrown into a world he knew nothin' about and being told to save the world. On the way, he met a spaceman, a pirate, a wizard, a superhero who was kind of a jerk, and a magical princess. He really didn't fit in with them either, but they ended up saving the world together." Rex heard a small noise and saw Puppycorn was asleep. He didn't know where the pup's room was, so he grabbed a blanket and pillow and tried to sleep on the floor.

This worked for about an hour. Then Rex awoke to a loud bang coming from outside. Groggily, he poked his head out the window and saw a figure in a dark cloak shooting off fireworks in the garden. He headed down there slowly, eventually getting to the source of the noise.

"What in the name of the Man Upstairs and his two little brats are you supposed to be?" Rex's voice was a low rumble. The figure jumped at the sound of another person's voice. This person was made of basic geometric shapes like the other people of the Unikingdom, but those shapes were more humanlike than the others. A snotty smirk was painted on his round yellow face. 

"I'm Master Frown! Who are you supposed to be, an unsafe construction worker?" 

"Damn it. You sound like a teenager. I hate teenagers." Rex rubbed his neck. "Look. I'm gonna be nice here. Nicer than I normally am. I'm gonna let you leave with all of your teeth in your mouth." 

"You're a tough guy, huh?" Master Frown lit another firework. Rex's eyes narrowed.

"I'm gonna assume from the dark clothes that you're trying to be a bad guy. Been there, done that, made a scrapbook out of the pictures my raptors took on the way. What's the angle?"

"Well, I'm a Doom Lord. My job is to spread misery and make people frown." Master Frown stopped what he was doing. "Who are you?"

"Not important right now. What is important is that you woke me up at three in the morning to shoot off fireworks. Why?"

"I'm trying to make the whole kingdom miserable by keeping them awake!" The Doom Lord laughed.

"Yeah. No. Not happening. You're gonna cut that crap out." Rex yawned. 

"The fact you're miserable means it's working. I'm not gonna stop now!" Master Frown was about to set off a bottle rocket, but Rex grabbed his arm.

"Let me tell you a bit about me. Like I said, I did the whole villain thing. I was in a way bigger weight class than you. You woke up the one person who is running on an hour's sleep and has a much looser set of morals than the rest of this candy colored kingdom. I am more than happy to Master Breaker Punch you into the stone age. One more chance, hot shot. You wanna pick this up at a reasonable hour or do I need to make up a one liner about you flying into the stratosphere?" Rex held an intimidating aura despite his hair sticking out at odder angles than normal. Master Frown stared directly at Rex and, after a moment, lit the bottle rocket.

"You're one of Unikitty's friends. I doubt you'll actually do it." He taunted. Rex gave the Doom Lord a look that would turn Medusa into stone.

"Guess I'll punch your ticket back home." Rex yawned, scratched the back of his neck and threw a punch at Master Frown's stomach. The force behind the punch was so powerful, it sent the Doom Lord flying towards the shapes that made up Frowntown in the horizon line. "Have a nice trip. Hope it's one way." He headed back into the castle, grumbling to himself about teenagers and fireworks.

Rex's next semi-conscious memory was looking up and seeing he was flanked by Hawkodile and Unikitty. "Not now. 'M tired." He threw the blanket over his head, only for it to be ripped off him by Hawkodile. 

"Rex, did you meet Master Frown last night?" Unikitty's voice was gentle, more than normal. "Dark cloak? Gloomy like you are?" 

"Hm. Yeah." He buried his head in his pillow. "He's a stupid teenager. Told him to stop setting off fireworks. Didn't listen." Unikitty and Hawkodile looked at each other. 

"He was setting off fireworks? That's not too bad. Right?" Unikitty looked down at her now asleep friend with disappointment. "We need to teach him not to hit people he doesn't like."

"Hey." Hawkodile tapped Rex's back with his clawed feet. "Did he say why he was settin' off fireworks?"

"Hmph. Somethin' about makin' people miserable? 'M tired. Talk later." Rex snatched the blanket off of Hawkodile's gloved hands and tried to fall asleep. Hawkodile and Unikitty quietly snuck out of Rex's room, followed by a drowsy Puppycorn, who passed them after a short hello. 

"I'm just gonna say this out loud. Your buddy punched Master Frown back to Frowntown. Without wakin' anybody up." Hawkodile seemed impressed by the pure strength on display in that situation. "That's some punch." 

"I think the first thing we need to do is teach Rex to try and talk things out. He used to be really good at that." 

"As long as he ain't punchin' you or our other friends, let him fight Master Frown once in a while. We see that guy at least twice a day." Hawkodile turned his head to the now closed bedroom door. 

"But we don't know if he just punched without trying to talk Master Frown down! He can't just go right to punching as the first thing he does!" Unikitty protested, also putting her attention on the door. "Especially if he doesn't hold back. Master Frown could have been seriously hurt!" The door creaked open. Rex leaned on the doorframe, face barely visible though his long messy hair. 

"The little twerp should be fine, if that's what you're talkin' about so loudly. Like I said, I told him to cut the crap. He wanted to test how far he could push me and I'm sure ya know the rest." Rex said this quickly, trying to get the conversation over with so he could catch up on lost sleep. "Is that kid gonna be a problem every night? 'Cuz I need to sleep."

"He's a problem all the time, bro. That's all he does. Ya haven't seen it because ya kept to yourself." Hawkodile glossed over the fact that Rex was kept in a secure lab for the past few months and didn't have to deal with Master Frown. 

"As long as you tried to use your words, it's fine! We don't just punch people here if we have a problem!" Hawkodile opened his mouth to say something and Unikitty jabbed him with her elbow. "Alrighty?

"Yeah, alright. Can't guarantee I won't Master Break the kid if I see him again at two in the morning, but I'll tryta play nice." Rex pushed his bangs out of his eyes. "I'm gonna take a nap an-" Richard floated past the man, pressing a list in his hand. "Nope. Looks like I got chores. Don't remember settin' off a glitter bomb off in the foyer, but I do crazy things on zero sleep." He retreated back into his room and came out with his hair somewhat tamed. He walked past Unikitty and Hawkodile, his focus on the list. 

"We should probably do something about Rex's sleeping problem. I'll add that to the list." Unikitty conjured a sparkly notebook with a hand drawn picture of a grumpy Rex on the cover. She opened it, showing a list written in a very pretty, very curly handwriting. She added "cure his lack of sleep" below "add glitter to vest".  

"He didn't do the glitter bomb thing. You did. He was being sarcastic." Hawkodile stated pointedly. 

"But he's actually doing the chores! He must be tired if he doesn't want to play!" She headed over to Rex, who had Master Built a coffee maker and was making himself a cup of coffee. "You don't actually have to do the chores, you know!" Rex grabbed the brewed cup and gulped some of the hot liquid down. 

"Not what the floating ghost brick said, Princess." He looked at the cup and turned to find some sugar. "Back on the Rexcelsior, my raptors and I had a chore wheel. Ya live in a place, ya gotta pull your weight." He dumped a lot of sugar into the cup and took another sip. He nodded, content at the ratio of coffee to sugar. 

"I thought you were the kind of guy who didn't care about anything." 

"I don't. Caring about crap and keeping a clean ship with a happy crew are two different things. I was good to the raptors, so they were loyal to me. Compromise, Princess. Compromise and not being a total slob." He finished his coffee and put the cup in the sink. "It shouldn't take too long to finish Rick's list, anyway. I have a feelin' the brick's goin' easy on me." The caffeine and sugar seemed to stabilize Rex's overall demeanor. "You can join me, if ya want." He looked at the list. "Looks like most of it is out in the garden." He smiled, the harsh features of his face softening. 

"Ugh. That's so boring!" The princess stuck out her tongue.

"Suit yourself." Puppycorn bounced into the room and jumped on Rex. "Hey, kid. Ya wanna help me with some things I gotta do?" The pup nodded excitedly. "Come on, then. We gotta do some boring stuff first, but I could use the company." The two left to the foyer to clean Unikitty's mess. Unikitty was about to say something about chores, but the two already left. It wasn't long before she heard laughter from the foyer and the cat flew off to see what the joke was, assuming they blew off the chores after all.

It was a little disappointing her assumption was incorrect. Rex was cleaning the floor with a mop, all of the furniture having been moved to the only corner outside of the glitter blast radius. Puppycorn wasn't doing too much himself, but he was listening to Rex tell a story about his raptors with a dustcloth in his mouth. Unikitty looked closer at the scene and she could have sworn Rex was a different person if she didn't know better. He was happier, full of positivity as he spoke animatedly about something he obviously cared deeply about. She could even see the ghostly presence of sparkle matter that seemed to vanish in the early morning light. 

"Hey, sis! Ya gotta listen to this! It's sooo funny!" Puppycorn whipped around to address Unikitty, the cloth spraying glitter around. 

"Okay! Whatcha got?" She sat on the glitter infested couch and leaned on the backboard.

"All I said was sayin' was to not give a raptor bubblegum. Tried to have them chew it to look cool, but gettin' gum out of raptor scales ain't easy." Rex went back to mopping. "Didn't wanna keep puttin' myself in a sticky situation so I stopped." This got Puppycorn laughing, glitter going everywhere from within the folds of the cloth. Unikitty's eyes lit up, filled with large hearts and stars. Rex was telling jokes! That's not something a grumpy person did at all! Yes, his material needed work and he was telling them while doing boring chores, but still! Rex and Puppycorn went back to cleaning, the man telling the little dog more jokes throughout the process. Unikitty saw the glint of a piece of sparkle matter in the glitter laden mop water and picked it up. It was more visible than the ones she saw coming off Rex before, radiating with pure happiness. She looked up to the man mopping then back to the sparkle matter. 

"Can I have that, Unikitty?" Doctor Fox walked over to her, holding sparkle matter of varying degrees of visibility. "It's the clearest one I've seen from him today." Unikitty handed her the sparkle matter. 

"Is he OK? I don't remember people like him having sparkle matter."

"He appears to be stable, and I mean that in a time related way. My experiment was a bigger success than I thought!" Doctor Fox grinned, brimming with excitement. "I had noticed some time irregularities after the Battle for Syspocalypstar, but I couldn't figure out why. I was attempting deep analysis on the time space continuum the night Rex showed up. I believe he is the key to stabilizing the timeline, the very thing I was trying to work on that night!"

"But why does he have sparkle matter?"

"That may have been his exposure to this world and my science. This could be what's keeping him to the timeline as a paradox. He's still a version of your friend from Bricksburg, but just different enough to not break the timeline." Doctor Fox shrugged. "It's still too early to be certain of this, but it's a solid theory." 

"Why are some of them invisible?"

"His body probably isn't used to the magic flowing through it yet. You said that Master Building is something more spiritual than what we have here. I will hypothesize that the more he stays in the Unikingdom, the more his body will be able to more easily handle the magic of this world." 

"Will that hurt him?"

"It doesn't appear to be hurting him, Unikitty. He appears to be thriving, in fact. That could be more due to the fact he is not trapped in a cage and not suppressing deep rooted feelings of anger and resentment, but I would need to study him more to confirm." Doctor Fox gestured widely at the man, who had finished cleaning by now and was moving the furniture back with Puppycorn. He and the pup were chatting away happily, ignorant to the side conversation. 

"So the change is helping him?"

"That's my theory. By being exposed to both the magic of the Unikingdom and the support of positive people, he may become closer to who he was before his trauma than who he was when he tried to end the world." This made Unikitty grin. "I would also recommend having him keep being honest with his feelings. This may be difficult for him. He appears to prefer suppressing his pain. I believe you know a lot about that, Unikitty." 

"I know nothing about that at all!" Unikitty laughed nervously. She did try to keep her anger deep inside. Could Rex, when he was becoming the monster who ended the world, had chosen to emulate that trait? The thought made her turn blue. She watched the man leave for the garden with her brother. He looked happy, but was he still hurting? Was he a walking time bomb of sadness and insecurity? Would showing him that they cared about him and wouldn't leave him really help the pain stop? She summoned and  opened her notebook again. 'Cure his lack of sleep'. "Hey, what causes a person to not sleep?" 

"There are lots of reasons for a person to have insomnia. Nightmares, physical pain, diodes stuck to your head. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Doc. Asking for a friend." She excused herself and went out into the garden, where Rex was weeding an overgrown plot of land. Her brother dug in the dirt beside him, a counterpart to Rex's careful weeding.

"Kid! You're gettin' dirt all over!" He got up and dusted himself off, taking off his vest and forcibly sleeveless dress shirt to show he was wearing a white tank top under all the layers. He knelt back down and began weeding again. She could see he had made himself physically strong from the shadows on the back of the tank top. He made himself strong one way, but became weaker emotionally for it. She moved closer to where he put his shirt and vest, picking up the vest. The green R was the only bright color on the thing. She sniffed it and stuck her tongue out in disgust. It smelled weird, like sweat and dryer lint.

"Princess, put the vest down." Rex didn't look up from the weeding. "It's my trademark look." She put it down and Puppycorn gasped, in awe at Rex's perceived clairvoyance. 

"It's so dark." She stated with a frown to the green R.

"Yeah. My ex told me to be tough. Dark colors make you look tough." There was a level of disgust in his tone of voice. "Even Hawkodile wears dark shades, Princess." 

"I'm blue! Does that make me tough, Rex?" Puppycorn didn't stop digging.

"No, but you don't have to be." He gave a sad smile. "You are the best Puppycorn you can be."

"Rex. You don't have to be tough anymore, either. You know that, right?" Unikitty picked his vest back up. 

"Vest down, Princess. It's who I built myself to be. I was built to be tough, to survive." He still didn't look up from the weeding, but his demeanor changed to something more somber. "I can't be anything else."

"You were something else. You were kind and caring and-!"

"Princess. Enough." Rex got up, back still turned from the cat. "Come on, Puppycorn. I gotta go into town and get some seeds. Let's go." He grabbed his vest and threw it on as he walked away, Puppycorn trailing behind. Unikitty flew after the two, not stopping until they stopped at a stall in the marketplace with a farmer duck selling seeds.

"Can we grow pizza, Rex?" Puppycorn bobbed next to the man, who was looking at the seeds. 

"Nah, little buddy. Ya can't grow pizza. But we can get some later." He pointed to a large sack of tomato seeds and the duck nodded. 

"Hey! Rex!" Unikitty shouted from behind them. 

"Ya heard somethin', kid?" Rex slung the sack over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Let's get that pizza before we head back. Can't believe it's noon already." 

"I know you can hear me! You aren't that hard of hearing!" People were starting to turn their attention to Unikitty, who was still yelling.

"Princess. You're making a scene." Rex didn't turn to her, his voice flat and forceful. He let Puppycorn lead the way to the pizza shop, Unikitty following behind. 

"We gettin' a whole pizza for ourselves?" Puppycorn wagged his tail, not sure why Rex was ignoring his sister, but was too happy hanging out with his friend to ask. 

"We can share with your sister if she wants to share with me and not someone light-years away from here." He still didn't turn around, choosing to look at the menu instead.

"Light years?"

"It's a measure of distance out in space."  This got a nod from Puppycorn. "Well, Princess?" Unikitty's ears went back.

"Yeah. I want to share with you guys." She sounded eager to join them. 

"Alright. Because I can't be anyone but myself. No matter how hard you push." He placed the order and turned to the window for a moment. He looked at his tracker and noticed it was flashing. "That's new. Must be updatin' its location data or somethin'."

"Rex? You'd tell me if you were mad at me, right?" Unikitty shifted awkwardly. Before Rex could say anything, he heard a shout from outside and turned around to see Master Frown and a being that was a half rounded rectangle. He rolled his eyes again.

"Not you again." Rex shook his head.

"You! Oh, I was hoping to see you!" Master Frown rushed over to Rex and smirked. "I'm gonna make you pay for what you did last night!" 

"Nah. But if lunch is on you today, we can call the whole thing even." He leaned on the counter casually.

"No! You punched me all the way back to Frowntown! I'm not gonna buy you lunch, I'll gonna make you pay!"

"Look, I only have enough for me and the prince and princess here. I'm between jobs right now. Next time, don't shoot fireworks outside my window at a time when most people sleep and I'll probably be more generous." He looked back at the pizza, noticing the chef was gone. 

"Aw! We aren't getting pizza?" The grey shape moaned. 

"No, Brock! Not now!" Master Frown turned to his friend for a moment, then back to Rex. "I'm getting revenge." Rex laughed, but the laugh held something sinister behind it.

"Cute. Ya saw how I play. Think ya can come up to my level, Doom Lord?" Puppycorn tapped Rex's shoulder, but avoided eye contact with the man as he did. The pizza was burning. "Wait. Was that it?" He asked as the chef put the small fire the burning pizza created out. 

"Yes! Now you have to wait for another one!" Master Frown laughed with a weird level of wickedness for what felt like a prank to Rex. 

"Wow. The bar for revenge in this town is low." A new pizza was swapped in for the old one. "Are all Doom Lords like you, or are ya the intern?" 

"You did the thing, bro. Let's just go." Brock groaned. "We can get pizza back in Frowntown." 

"Fine! But I won't rest until you're miserable!" Brock was dragging Master Frown.

"Good luck! Nothin' ya can do that I have not already done ta myself!" Rex shouted after the two. He shook his head. "Man." He looked over to Puppycorn and shrugged. "Sorry if I scaredja, kid. Still got a chip on my shoulder about last night." The pup looked down. 

"Is that how you spoke to Master Frown last night?" Unikitty shot Rex a glare that made him feel like he was about to get grounded. 

"Probably? He's a bad guy, right? What's the harm?" 

"You look like a bully and you scared Puppycorn! That's the harm!" She took the pizza from the chef. 

"Did you forget that part in the beginning? Where I was totally chill? Also, I was a bully before. I know better than to take anyone's crap." Rex folded his arms. 

"Rex. We don't do that here."

"Fine. I'll try to keep my cool next time. Changing a reaction to annoying people like that just won't be easy, that's all."

"I will say I'm proud of you for not punching him this time. You used your words, but don't try to be scary next time, OK?" Unikitty pat Rex's head. "And you apologized to Puppycorn, so it's all good here!"  She floated to a table, her brother following behind. Rex shoved his hands in his pocket and took a seat with them, putting the bag of seeds down beside him. He leaned back in his chair and just let Unikitty and Puppycorn talk. After some time of silence from the man, he got up. 

"I'm going back to the castle." He grabbed his seeds and began to head for the door. Puppycorn rushed after him. 

"Don't forget about me, bro!" It seemed Rex's uglier side was water under the bridge at this point. Rex gave the pup a silent nod and the two walked off, leaving Unikitty alone. She trotted off to looked around the kingdom for some fun. It didn't take her long to catch up with Master Frown and Brock.

"Hey, Unikitty!" Brock waved her over. Master Frown was busy literally taking candy from a baby.

"Heeeey, Brock!" She skipped over. "So, sorry about my friend. Rex is new to the Unikingdom and-" She was stopped by Master Frown.

"Wait. Rex? Like, Rex Dangervest? The guy who destroyed the whole universe? That's him?" 

"Yep! He's a bit of a grump, but he's trying his be-"

"He wasn't just talking big! That guy's a major league villain! Easily full Doom Lord material! Why's he hanging out with you, Unidork?" There was a weird admiration in his tone for someone who got his butt kicked by the guy. 

"It's actually super complicated. He's just doing the best he can." Unikitty gave the crying kid a large lollipop.

"I gotta get the guy to give me some tips now that I got my revenge on him for the punch. I'd say I didn't recognize the guy, but no one knew what the guy looked like. Not even the other Doom Lords. We just knew the name. Rex Dangervest." Master Frown was star struck. 

"No, you aren't. Rex doesn't do that anymore. Like I said, he's doing his best now. He's not a bad guy."

"He did have major bad guy vibes in the pizza place, Unikitty." Brock pointed out. 

"I'm helping him be better! You'll see!" She frowned sharply. "He doesn't want to be bad, so don't talk to him about that."

"I'll talk to him about it anyway. Looks like that'll really set you off!" Master Frown rushed off.

"Good luck with helping your friend, Unikitty!"  Brock ran after his friend. Unikitty finished her walk, then headed home as the sun started to sink low in the sky. 

When she floated into the castle grounds, a dirt smeared Rex was leaving. Puppycorn was not with him this time. "Hey, Rex. Where's Puppycorn?"

"He's in the castle helpin' Rick with dinner." She noticed Rex wasn't wearing his vest, just his white undershirt. 

"Where are ya going?" 

"I don't have fur, Princess. I have to wear people clothes and I only have one outfit. I haveta find at least some fabric to make somethin'."  He didn't look at her as he spoke. It was unclear if it was out of guilt or disappointment.

"I wanna come with you. Can I?" She paused a moment to think about what Rex just said. "Wait. Fabric? Do you make your own clothes? You don't have to do that, you know. We have a laundromat in town." 

"Then it probably won't be hard to find somethin' to wear." There was a slight twitch of his right eye when Unikitty mentioned the laundromat. "Don't you have princess things to do?" 

"My "princess thing" right now is to help you shop for clothes! I insist!" She clearly wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Fine. Come on." His tone was apathetic. He started to head toward town, still not looking at Unikitty. This was alarming to the cat. He was so happy earlier today. His changes in mood were causing her mental whiplash. Her mind briefly went to the Happy Horn, one of Doctor Fox's inventions that would totally help keep him happy, but she decided to leave that as a last resort. The two traveled in silence to the marketplace. As they moved, Unikitty tried to float next to her former friend. He didn't do anything to move away, but he still wouldn't talk to her. She noticed in the dying sunlight that Rex's tank top had the logo she'd seen on the suit of a 80's spaceman friend of theirs. It was faded, possibly intentionally so. 

"I like your shirt." She felt it was her duty to kill the awkward silence somehow. 

"Yeah." After a moment of the silence returning, he spoke again. "I miss him."

"Miss who?" A quick second passed and a lightbulb lit up over her horn. "Oh! Right! I do have contact with the others. Maybe we could go visit him."

"Nah. I'd have to explain myself all over again and he'd probably want nothin' ta do with me after that." They approached the marketplace and Unikitty frowned a little at those words. 

"Rex, you don't know that. He's probably the second nicest guy I know." Rex didn't respond to this. He just made a beeline for the stall with the most clothing and sifted through the clothes. Unikitty sat to the left of him, watching him. He seemed to push away anything that could make him really happy and that wasn't right. It was like he wanted to stay unhappy. That wasn't going to fly with her. "What do you plan to do, then? Stay here and mope?"

"I prefer the term 'brood'. But I'm not ready to face them. Any of them." Especially not his past self. Unikitty sighed. Her task was going to be harder than she thought. When Rex's attention was back to the clothes, she got her notebook out and added 'Get Rex to meet Benny' on the list. She wasn't sure what she could say to Rex right now so she let him be while she thought of something. 

"Rex, are you OK? Like really OK?" He responded unusually quick.

"Define 'really okay', Princess." He sounded tired, just like he did before breakfast. 

"Are you… feeling okay? You seem closed off." 

"You don't know me well enough to know that." He put some clothes in a pile. "If you think you do, try to remember who you're actually talkin' to."

"Then let me get to know you! You get along with everyone else in the castle but me and Hawkodile!"

"Hawkodile and I are similar. If he wants ta know me, he'll know me. I think we just have a bro-understanding right now."

"What about me? I've been trying to get to know you!" She whined, desperately seeking answers.

"You also seem to think I'm someone you've been friends with for a long time or that, if you work hard enough, you can suddenly make me become that person. I'm not stupid, Princess. Hawkodile is your bodyguard. Bodyguards don't just talk things out. They fight if the need arises." He gathered the clothes he'd picked. "The sooner you realize I'm not the blissfully ignorant construction worker you met back in Cloud Cuckoo Land, the sooner you can actually be helpful to me." He turned his back to her. "Maybe you need to give me space until you do. I know you're bad at doing that, but hey. Maybe third time really is the charm." He walked away with the things he'd chosen, leaving Unikitty to sit in the quiet of the early evening. 

When Unikitty returned, everyone was sitting in the kitchen, getting ready for dinner. Everyone but Rex. The rest of the group didn't seem to note the absence, though. "Hey, guys!" She was able to keep her positive vibes, but there was an uneasiness to it. Her friends said their hellos, Richard getting an extra plate ready, which Puppycorn grabbed and ran out of the room with. When the puppy returned, the group had finished getting their food and sat around the table to eat. Everything felt normal for a while, the friends each talking about the events of the day like nothing changed. Unikitty decided to put aside any uneasy feelings and let her positivity return. After dinner, the friends went their separate ways, except for Richard and Unikitty, the former of the two starting to clean up. Before Puppycorn left, Richard stopped him.

"Please let Rex know he will need to clean his own dishes this time." The puppy nodded and rushed off to play. Richard floated back to the sink and began his work.

"Where is Rex, anyway?" Unikitty spoke, breaking the brick's concentration. 

"He chose to eat in his room tonight." The caretaker went back to cleaning the dishes.

"And you let him?"

"I didn't see a reason to stop him."

"Did he seem… unhappy?"

"He looked like he had a lot on his mind, Princess. If you think he's unhappy, talk to him."

"He told me to give him some space."

"Then I would recommend doing that. He's being honest about what he needs." Richard started the process of putting what he just washed away. 

"But he's so sad. I think he was only happy for a few hours today. That's no good at all!" She huffed.

"I would talk to him, but he did ask to be left alone."

"He asked me to leave him alone! Not you!" Unikitty wasn't ready to let this go.

"Princess, he asked Puppycorn to leave him alone tonight as well. He doesn't want to be bothered."  Unikitty's horn shot off some symbols of her frustration. Unikitty opened her mouth to talk, but the sound of a guitar sounded somewhere in the castle. The chosen song was only familiar to the person playing, but it didn't seem unpleasant. Unikitty left the kitchen towards the source of the noise: Rex's room. She tried to open the door, but it was locked. She pressed her ear to the door and could just catch the words: break on through to the other side. They were sung, the voice familiar and pleasant. This was a stark contrast to the man's normal stereotypically tough voice. 

"He's got some sick skills." Unikitty jumped, seeing Hawkodile behind her. 

"Hey, Hawkodile. You heard that, too?"

"The whole castle heard it. He's got a super loud amp in there." Hawkodile leaned his back against the door. "Somethin' on your mind?"

"Yeah. If you were sad and wanted to be left alone, what could a well intentioned friend do to cheer you up?" Rex said he and Hawkodile were similar. Time to test that. 

"If this is about Dangervest and you, I ain't getting in the middle." Hawkodile stated, arms now folded. "He's got too much baggage." 

"No no! I just… want to understand you better!" Hawkodile shook his head. He knew that was a lie, but he humored her.

"If I were like your friend in there, a well intentioned friend would be one that listens to me. Really listens." He pulled away from the door. "Did 'I' tell ya anything else?"

"You said… I thought you were something you weren't. That I needed to see you for who you are." Her voice was slow, thinking things through as she spoke.

"Then there's the problem. If you don't see me as me, that's a real issue. Or, maybe I should say 'see Dangervest as Dangervest'."

"But that's not the real him. He's not a bad guy." She turned blue, sounding conflicted.

"Look, like I said: the guy has baggage. That baggage probably changed him. Baggage does that." He started to leave. "Ya got this." He left and the music died down. The soft click of a lock opening could be heard, then nothing. Slowly, Unikitty opened Rex's door. She looked into the dark room, a small frown on her face. 

The room was ransacked. All of the furniture was broken and the pieces thrown around the room, save for the bed where the culprit was hiding under the cover of a pastel blanket. Leaning against the wall was a Master Built guitar and amp made from pieces of the broken furniture. She picked up his empty dinner plate, which was on the floor by the door and tried to walk closer into the warzone of a room.

"Princess. I told you to leave me alone. What do I need to do to drill that into your head?" The voice coming from under the covers was cold, annoyed by the lack of respect. 

"I… just wanted to get your plate and wash it for you, Rex." She held the plate up. "I'll just… be going now."

"Tell Rick I'll clean up tomorrow. Good night, Princess." His tone remained frigid, which turned Unikitty azure to match. She turned around and left the room, closing the door gently behind her.

[spontaneousmusicalnumber]

Mistake and Hate for Crag?

(This is about my 18-year-old Goliath Rune Knight Fighter, Crag)

Mistake: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

Oh boy, only the basis of his whole backstory!

Crag was an orphan, raised in a group home full of love. The proprietors both passed away when he was tiny, and the 60-something year old high elf they had been raising ended up being the closest to a parent he had. The siblings all kind of raised each other.

He heard about a low-income housing initiative that needed some tax money to get off the ground. His family could have a big home and a stable future! He signed up to be a tax collector and left home at 17. That's how he met the party and started traveling with them.

He learned that his family got into the new Blue Heron district! Then he had to rescue them from it, because it was a ghetto of magical experimentation where the occupants were used as guinea pigs and exposed to doses of chaos radiation to try and build magic supersoldiers.

He's fixed what he can: He rescued his family from the district and got them to a safe place. He resigned from the job (duh) and no longer considers himself loyal to that country.

He's very insecure about his life. He devoted himself to something he thought was good, and hurt the people he loved the most. What's to say that won't happen again? He has aspirations about finding a calling, but he's somewhat adrift and is afraid to tether himself to anything in case it betrays him again. So far the only thing he's good at is swinging a huge sword and killing things. He really doesn't like to kill. He wants to be something more. But for now, killing things protects the people he loves. Is that doing the wrong thing for the right reasons again?

He trusts his family, which he considers his party a part of now. But he doesn't really trust himself yet.

Hate: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

Crag is a special character, in that I've not really found what he hates. He feels grief, betrayal, frustration, fear... but I haven't found it in him to hate yet.

Even the person who by all means he should have hated, the person who turned in his family to the experimentation in the blue heron district, who admitted that INTENDING for Crag to hate him and push him away... I couldn't get Crag to hate him.

Crag fears the main villain of the campaign. Crag makes fun of the snotty mean ambassador. Crag grieves the circumstances that made Karsen, once his brother, turn in his family. He'll lash out, he'll get moody, he'll withdraw, but he doesn't hate.

Unless it's something petty and stupid that I'm entirely forgetting in the moment.

[youhideastar]

I absolutely do believe it's possible to change fan culture for the better - no, you're never going to change *everyone's* behavior (some people are just jackasses), but even if just half of fans care about doing the right thing, and you reach just half of that half, and just half of that half acts on the info/advice/meme... you'd reduce the aggregate assholery of fandom by 12.5%, which is a pretty significant improvement!

Different things will reach different people: for me, this comic always pops into my head when I get the urge to go off on or correct someone on tumblr, or even in an AO3 comment. It makes me laugh and--usually--reconsider.

I think it could also be beneficial for people to make themselves vulnerable by telling the stories of times they weren't gentle with other fans and suffered negative consequences - there's a lot of power in learning from other people's mistakes.

Putting my money where my mouth is: I got a comment on one of my fics once that I construed to be saying, "I think A/B/O fic is trash, but yours is actually really good!" Forgetting that tone and nuance are very easy to mistake over the internet, I responded that I wasn't sure why they'd clicked the link if they think this trope--which I write all the time--is trash, but that I would try to take it as a compliment that they'd judged my work to be, at least, a higher quality of trash. SOOOOO SNOTTY. But then! Despite me being a royal snot, the commenter took the time to come back and explain that that wasn't what they'd meant at all - that was very gracious of them, and I, re-reading their original comment, felt like the world's biggest jerk. And that's why it pays to read each comment (or tumblr post or whatever) with the most generous possible interpretation - it sucks so bad to lash out at somebody only to realize later that they were actually being nice.

Do you have a cautionary tale of a time you wish you'd reacted differently? Consider sharing it! It may not put you in a flattering light, but it's worth it if another fan can learn from your mistake.

Episode 208: What Fans Owe Each Other

In Episode 208, “What Fans Owe Each Other,” Flourish and Elizabeth share a letter from longtime friend-of-the-pod @destinationtoast about whether we can make fandom culture kinder and more nuanced (spoiler: they take a far more pessimistic stance than Toast!). Topics discussed include good old-fashioned “netiquette,” whether we’re at the end of big social media, the dangers of toxic positivity, and systemic versus individual change. They also share and respond to a pair of listener comments on the recent “Fanfluencers” episode, and the way fans’ comments online connect back to the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes.

Click through to our site to listen or read a full transcript!

[ladyartemesia]

The Kiss

◐ PART VIII of THE ALPHA ◐

◐ Series Masterlist ◐

◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Part III ◐ Part IV ◐ Part V ◐ Part VI ◐ Part VII ◐

Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader

Rating: Hard Mature 18+ (for this installment)

Warnings: this one is a little darker, descriptions of violence, ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming, strong sexual innuendo, discussion of violence relating to ritual combat, possessive behavior, injuries and discussion of injuries, lots of people have, use and are threatened by knives, kidnapping and drugging, its not as bad as it sounds, but it is definitely a bit darker…

Word Count: 4250

Author’s Note: I said it before but it bears repeating...You have no idea what your support has meant to me. Truly your asks and your messages and comments…they made me so happy. You made me believe that people wouldn’t forget about this story. I am so grateful you were able to wait. As many of you know I faced a medical emergency recently and you were all so lovely. The best followers on this site and I MEAN that. As always, my angels @ppersonna @xjoonchildx and  @untaemedqueen​  were (and continue to be) the best betas and the best friends anyone could ask for. My thanks to ALL of you for helping me bring this story to life! I don’t know what I would do without your daily encouragement and your daily support. You guys are the heartbeat of this story. It wouldn’t be here without you.

——◐——

Two Years Ago 

——◐——

Centuries ago the moon goddess stumbled across her human soulmate while he was sleeping. Struck by his beauty, but reluctant to reveal her identity, the goddess began to visit him in his dreams where she could hide her true form and appear before him as a mortal woman. 

In the world of dreams their love flourished and from that blessed union the packs were born…

The wolf nations celebrated this sacred romance every ten years during the Festival of the Lover’s Moon…

The day of the festival was spent eating and drinking and dancing at large parties, but when the sun went down… well—

That’s when things got really interesting. 

On the night of Lover’s Moon the young unmated wolves of the pack were permitted to commemorate this legendary love story in a decidedly scandalous manner. 

The unmated men assumed the role of the goddess’s sleeping lover—they were blindfolded (to represent slumber) and led into a large sectioned off area of the dark forest to ‘wait and dream.’

Unmated she-wolves over the age of maturity (eighteen) took herbal scent suppressors and ventured out into that very same forest in order to anonymously ‘visit’ the young men ‘in their dreams’...

The rules for what exactly that meant were pretty fast and loose which was why Min Yoongi was thanking the goddess and every other deity he could think of that Yunli was still seventeen. 

“But I will be eighteen in two days! Please can’t I just—“

“No. Absolutely not under any circumstances ever.”

“But Yoonji is going!”

“Ji-ah is nearly nineteen and has never been interested in any of the snotty little man-pups of our pack.” He snorted. “She’s probably going out just so she can shove a bunch of them in the lake.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Yunli mumbled irritably. 

Kim Taehyung yawned idly and snuggled into the cozy little pallet he prepared at the base of his favorite tree. The blindfold he and all the other unmated ‘lovers’  wore was made from witchcloth and could not be removed while the sun was down—so he had snuck into the forest earlier to set everything up. 

Now all he had to do was wait until—

“H-Hi Taehyung.”

Oh sh—

“Uh. Hello...Miss.”

Taehyung didn’t recognize the owner of that voice, but he knew for sure who it wasn’t. 

“I was hoping to find you tonight.”

This is not good. 

“Well I’m—I’m flattered… naturally but—”

She touched his hand and he squeaked. 

“I was thinking you and I might get to know each other a little bet—eep!”

The sharp point of a custom blade pressed directly into the unfortunate young beta girl’s pulse point. 

“Are you lost, puppy?”

A heavy cloak obscured the newcomer’s features, but there was no mistaking her meaning. 

Taehyung bit his lip to keep from snorting as the poor she-wolf scrambled away. 

“Ji-ah,” he tsked with feigned disapproval, “that wasn’t very nice.”

Min Yoonji grinned as she sheathed her wicked looking dagger and slid languidly into his arms. 

“You don’t like nice girls, Kim Taehyung.”

“I like you,” he whispered breathlessly against her lips. “Nice or not—it doesn't matter to me…” His hands slid greedily over her soft curves—pulling her closer till he felt the beat of her heart against his own. “I’ll like anything as long as it’s you.” 

This was the stupidest idea in the history of stupid ideas. 

Jimin huffed as he struggled to find a comfortable position against the giant boulder he’d chosen as his perch.

Why did I let Taehyung talk me into this?

He could be at home—in bed—comfortably sleeping off the all-day feast he’d indulged in. 

Instead he was out in the middle of the forest sitting blindfolded on a rock in the off chance that one of the she-wolves was out looking for him. 

Not bloody likely. 

Not when prime targets like Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook—and countless others—were scattered throughout the woods. 

“Park Jimin?”

Every hair on Jimin’s body stood on end. 

It was a soft whisper—the speaker clearly didn’t want her voice to be recognized, yet something about the sound sent a curious frisson of interest down his spine. 

He gulped. 

“Yes… that’s me. But if you’re looking for Hoseok he’s just a little deeper in. You probably caught his scent downwind so—”

“I’m not looking for Hoseok.”

Jimin licked his lips and the sight of it sparked a odd curl of heat in the pit of your belly. 

“I don’t know where anyone else is…”

“That’s quite alright.” A muted shuffle of movement reached his ears as you settled down beside him. “I was looking for you.” 

“Oh…” He rubbed the back of his neck idly. “Are you sure?”

Laughter like fairy bells whispered through the air and Jimin felt his heart clench.

Don’t get your hopes up. 

“Who are you?”

You were silent for a long time and then—

“I am someone who owes you a debt. One I have never been able to repay.”

Jimin’s head tilted curiously as he considered your words. 

“I’m sorry, miss… you must be mistaken. There isn’t—“

“You don’t remember.” 

It was a statement—not a question. Your voice was nearer now. He could feel the warmth of your body close to his—though not quite touching. “It was your wolf that saved me. But you had not gone through the Change yet.”

Familiar shame spiked sharply in his chest.

“I’m seven years past the Change...Why have you never mentioned this before?”

“Circumstances prevented me from doing so.” 

There was a cold finality to your pronouncement—which of course did nothing but further inflame his curiosity. 

“Then why come to me now?”

“I’ve come to repay you.”

Jimin’s mouth dropped open. 

Were you trying to—?!

“Oh—no please that-that’s not necessary—I could never take advantage of—”

You giggled again.  

“I am not offering my body, Park Jimin.”

Jimin breathed a heavy sigh of relief then shook his head with a wry chuckle. 

“Well considering the circumstances I can hardly be blamed for assuming you might be. And honestly most men would jump at the chance to—”

“You...are not most men.” 

Jimin’s eyes narrowed beneath his blindfold. 

“Little she-wolf—I may not be wrestling bears for fun or bare knuckle boxing in the town square, but I am still an alpha.”

The weight of his command poured over your body as he spoke the last word. There was no order or intent—he had simply given you a taste of his power. 

Aside from your direct blood relatives, no alpha had ever dared unleash their compel in your presence—therefore you were utterly unprepared for the effect it had on you—

Utterly unprepared for the strange surge of want so potent and profound that it stole the breath from your body. 

It was primal—invigorating—

Sensual.

You and your wolf may not have been entirely connected yet, but she was suddenly quite vocal about her desire to fully bask in Park Jimin’s attention.

A wicked grin played over his lips as he leaned in closer and you could almost feel the soft brush of his lips against your cheek. 

“Did you think I would not desire the touch of a beautiful woman in the moonlight?” he whispered. 

Please touch me, Alpha. 

Your eyes widened. 

Dear goddess. Your inner wolf was turning out to be a shameless hussy. 

“You might desire it, but you are far too  honorable to accept it as payment for a debt.”

Jimin drew back warily. 

You were correct of course. After all he had refused you when he believed that was your intent but—

“How could you know that?”

Evade. Evade now. 

“Well... how could you know I was beautiful? You’re blindfolded.”

He shrugged and your wolf took careful note of the way it made all the pretty muscles in his back and shoulders ripple. 

He will give us such strong—

Oh boy. 

He will do no such thing. Please calm down. 

“Not everything must be seen with your eyes.”

Is that how you found me? All those years ago...

Questions churned chaotically beneath your consciousness but you dared not give voice to them. 

Focus.

“I must repay this debt. Ask for what you want and—if it is in my power—I swear it will be yours.”

Jimin smiled again, but this time it was somehow softer. For a moment he looked almost…

Sad. 

“I’m afraid that the only thing I have ever wanted is not within your power to give...and I dare not ask you or anyone else for it.”

For her. 

He sighed and drew even farther away from you—in fact it seemed like he was preparing to leave. 

No. 

Your hand reached out almost of it's its own accord and wrapped tightly around his wrist. The contact sent a shock of searing heat through his veins and he froze. 

“Please alpha. It is not acceptable for someone like me—” a leader, a Luna, “—to owe another my life and offer nothing in return. You must let me pay my debt.”

Omega, his wolf growled, sweet perfect omega. 

Suppressors may have hidden your scent, but the siren song of an omega pleading prettily in his ear was unmistakable—irresistible…

“What if all I want is your name?”

You sighed deeply. 

“I cannot give you that. My name is… not mine to offer.”

Jimin laughed. 

“A woman I cannot remember with a name I cannot know and whose face I cannot see.” He shook his head. “Perhaps you are just a figment of my imagination.”

It was hard to explain what happened next...For whatever reason his words cut you deeply and you were overcome with the desire—no need—to refute them somehow. 

“I’m real enough,” you whispered, bringing his hand to your cheek. 

Jimin was genuinely beginning to wonder if you were a witch as well as a she-wolf. Being close to you was intoxicating and the urge to draw you in was steadily overpowering every other thought.

“Could I ask you for a kiss, then?”

“You—...You saved my life and all you want... is a kiss?”

The air grew heavier as the strange magnetic pull between you swelled to a silent inescapable crescendo. 

“In Seoul I often searched for someone who could ease my loneliness, yet each time I walked away emptier than before.” His thumb brushed gently over your lips and your eyes fluttered shut. “I have never had a kiss that meant anything to me.”

But yours might. 

It was unclear who moved first, whether he pulled you to him or you surged forward but when your bodies aligned and your lips met his for the first time it was as if you had never been separate from one another. 

As if you had always been deeply—intimately —together. 

The indescribable feel of him lit over your senses like a struck match. It was an ignition in the purest sense of the word— a fiery visceral awakening fueled by a consuming flood of desire. 

Yes, Alpha. 

He might never see your face or hear your name, but Jimin knew he would remember the taste of you for the rest of his life. It was hot and bright like liquid sunshine— a pure relentless light flowing through him where there was once only darkness. 

A soft needy moan rose up from your chest and he growled in primal satisfaction as you melted against him. 

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt of their own accord, desperately trying to bring him closer until he wrapped his arms around you in a heated embrace. 

“Please,” he begged breathlessly against your mouth. “Please tell me who you are.”

The words crashed over you like a bucket of ice —dousing the hazy pleasure of his kiss with a cold bite of reality. Suddenly you were wrenching yourself away from him and your wolf whimpered in misery at the loss of his touch. 

“I can’t,” you whispered. 

And then you were gone. 

“Did someone hurt you?”

You looked up to find Jin taking in your tears with cold fury. 

Twin knives were already gleaming dangerously in his hands and he appeared ready to filet whichever bastard was foolish enough to make you cry. 

“No,” you sniffed—well aware of how pitiful you were at the moment—crying in the corner of your cousin’s kitchen. “I got myself into this mess without any help—as usual.”

Jin sighed and slid down next to you. 

“Tell me.”

“Something happened that I…I didn’t intend.”

“Oh I knew that already. The Luna isn’t supposed to be running around on the night of Lover’s Moon in a forest full of blind horny wolves—“

You snorted and shook your head. 

“You’re absolutely right. I should have stayed away.”

Jin’s eyes narrowed and he wondered if perhaps you had caught Kim Namjoon with another omega. Nothing would be official until after the Change of course, but your bond with him was basically a foregone conclusion at this point. 

“You went looking for someone...didn’t you.”

You nodded miserably—all but confirming his fears. He made a mental note to push Namjoon in the swamp at the next available opportunity. 

“You know... the stories say that a Luna is powerfully drawn to her mate under the Lover’s Moon—that her wolf can sense him even before the Change.”  He reached over and gently began to brush the tears from your eyes. “So it’s not surprising that you sought him out, but it’s not really fair to hold whatever it is you saw against him. There is no relationship between you yet and…” he chuckled, “kisses beneath festival moonlight don’t really mean anything anyways.”

It was clear that Jin had somehow gotten the entirely wrong impression, but perhaps that was for the best. 

No one knew of your connection to Jimin and no one had seen what passed between you. 

Still…

Something about his assessment stung you. 

“You really believe that? ...That a kiss exchanged tonight means nothing?”

“I do.” Jin spoke with conviction. “There’s ancient magic at play in those woods. You can’t always trust what you see—or what you feel.”

“Oh I...I didn’t know…”

After a moment you laid your head against his shoulder and let the last of your tears run silently down your cheek. 

“Jin-ah have you ever wanted something you knew you couldn’t have?”

“Yes.” He sighed heavily and pulled you in to snuggle a bit closer. “When I was younger I dreamed of having a mate just like everyone else…”

The words were so softly spoken—almost wistful. Your heart splintered just hearing them. 

“But… she could be out there—your mate.”

Jin shook his head. 

“When is the last time you heard of a female alpha?”

Fresh tears welled up in your eyes. 

“Jin…”

“Hey,” he whispered, “don’t waste your crying on me. I’ve long since come to terms with who and what I am.”

“You’re not sad anymore?”

“Well… maybe sometimes I am… but I had to accept that people like us are not like everyone else. Our destinies were written long before we were born.”

“And you believe you’re destined to be alone?”

“Wolves in a pack are never really alone.”

“Yes...but they can be lonely,” you whispered thinking back to Jimin’s words. 

For a moment Jin’s eyes were the saddest you had ever seen them. 

“Well...I suppose they can.”  Then he chuckled and gave your nose an affectionate little tap. “But you don’t need to worry about that. When the time comes Namjoon will take his place at your side and the two of you will build a wonderful life together... Isn’t that what you want?”

Isn’t it?

Your treacherous thoughts drifted back to the boy in the moonlight—to the way your body sang when he touched you and the strange insatiable desire to know him and be known by him in return.

“Please...Tell me who you are.”

A heavy ache settled in your heart. 

You were the Luna of the mountain nations. A true born moon princess. 

You could never be the woman who kissed Park Jimin underneath the stars. 

You were not like everybody else. 

“...Yes. That is what I want.”

——◐——

Now 

——◐——

Jimin’s heart pounded as he tore through the dark paths of the wood with Taehyung, Yoongi, and Jungkook close behind. 

He had never led an attack—had never been trained to command wolves in battle. 

It was his first true test of leadership and he hadn’t even been a leader for twenty-four hours. 

Yet the fears and anxieties that might have normally clouded his mind were notably absent. 

There was only you.

Ironically Jimin owed Namjoon yet another debt—this time for explaining what exactly someone like him was capable of. 

The alpha Jin captured had given up their plan and position after being exposed to Jimin’s unique gifting, so he had a concrete target in his mind… He suspected however, that your captors had taken precautions after leaving some of their men behind. They had shifted their camp. 

But it wouldn’t be enough to save them. 

Jimin didn’t need your location to find you. 

He spent years refusing to look at you, and even then he always knew exactly where you were. He could sense you in any crowd—hear your voice in a thousand.

Once it had tormented him cruelly to be so aware of you. 

Now it was the only thing keeping him sane. 

He followed the connection between his heart and yours like a lifeline and it guided him as surely as the stars. 

The alphas followed him without question. 

If any of them harbored lingering doubts before, they were firmly laid to rest after what they saw at the cottage. No ordinary wolf could do what he had done. 

The Alpha would bring back their Luna and retribution would be swift indeed. 

The drugs in your system kept swinging you in and out of lucidity like a nightmarish pendulum. You tried to shift after the initial nausea faded, but whatever they gave you kept your wolf caged beneath your skin. 

Jimin

The longing you felt for your mate was the only thing tethering you to reality. You could almost hear him echoing in the far corners of your mind—  

I’m coming Omega—hold on. 

I’ll find you. 

Part of you recognized that his voice was likely nothing more than the wistful creation of your drug-addled mind, still you clung to it like the last shred of hope while the minutes (or hours) flew past.

Chaos clouded your thoughts even in clearer moments as many unavoidable concerns forced their way through the haze. 

Jin was at the house with you when they broke in. You had no way of knowing if he survived. 

The men who took you were crass and irreverent. Their eyes followed your form with too much interest and too little respect. 

It was starting to get cold and (due to you nearly dismembering a high council member and needing to be compelled unconscious) you were still wearing a thin white ceremonial dress which offered very little protection from the elements. 

You wondered idly if your idiot captors would let you freeze to death before they accomplished whatever it was they took you for. They clearly needed you for something or you would have been long dead by now. 

None of them struck you as particularly brilliant planners so the mastermind must be somewhere else... 

Frankly the entire situation was as puzzling as it was troubling. Iron Claw had always gotten along well with your pack. 

Technically they were (almost) what the human governments called a vassal state. The presence of a Luna determined the dominant pack in a region and the Luna of the mountain nations had been born into Silver Fang—your pack—for the last thousand years or so. 

Why would they challenge us now? 

The birth of a Luna indicated that the goddess had chosen that pack to lead. Their willingness—not only to kidnap you—but to go against the dominant pack by doing so was alarming to say the least. 

A sudden explosion of movement and sound interrupted your contemplation. Motion erupted all around you—boots pounding on the ground, men falling into their wolf forms, knives being drawn… 

You lifted your head—straining forward to see the source of the commotion—and nearly collapsed in relief when you finally did. 

Alpha

Your mate stood at the edge of the camp flanked by two enormous black wolves. 

A deadly looking jingum sword gleamed dangerously in his right hand. You recognized it immediately as your great-grandfather’s combat blade—the thousand year-old weapon of the Silver Fang Alphas. 

Relief flooded your chest all over again at the sight of it. Only Jin could have given him that sword—which meant he was still alive. 

The black wolves—Yoongi and Jungkook—snarled viciously but made no move to attack. 

Your captors were still scrambling into some sort of combat formation when Jimin finally spoke. 

“You have violated our sacred laws, trespassed in sovereign pack lands, kidnapped a Luna under the protection of our goddess, abducted the mate of the Silver Fang Alpha, and risked open war between our peoples.” He took a single step forward. “Surrender now and I will be merciful.”

The biggest of your captors—a man you recognized as the de facto leader—spat viciously on the ground. 

“You are not my Alpha,” he growled.

A cold—almost cruel—smile twisted over Jimin’s lips.

“Very well.”

Then he dropped to one knee and a massive grey wolf—Taehyung—leapt over his head and tore out the defiant leader’s throat before he even hit the ground. 

Your mouth dropped open. 

Bangtan formation.

Yoongi and Jungkook lunged forward in opposite directions, tackling their targets to the forest floor in a bloody clash of teeth and claws. 

One of the larger Iron Claw alphas half-shifted and charged Jimin but his arm shot out lightning fast, catching his attacker by the throat to send him flying through the air into a tree. 

The next several minutes could only be described as terrifyingly beautiful.

It was immediately clear that Jimin had been holding back when he fought Namjoon. 

He dispatched his opponents with such elegant savagery it was almost art.

You were so mesmerized watching Jimin sensually sword dance his way through a dozen alphas nearly twice his size that you almost missed Taehyung’s wolf rushing over with a dagger clenched between his teeth. 

Luna are you okay? 

You grinned and held up your rope-bound wrists. 

“I’ll be better once you pass me that knife.”

Taehyung nodded once and dropped the blade at your feet before tackling another wolf that was tearing towards the two of you. 

You sawed through the ties around your ankle first then twisted your arms to try and slice through the restraints on your wrist. 

The Iron Claw wolves were clearly no match for Jimin and his alphas. 

Jungkook and Yoongi chased after the few who were trying to run while Taehyung half-shifted to subdue the handful of wolves left alive as prisoners. Only Jimin continued to fight as the last three of your captors still standing took turns being slammed into the dirt by his strikes. 

He was clearly capable of dispatching them, but you were fairly convinced that you would die if you had to stay away from him for another second. The ropes, however, were surprisingly thick and the angle you were cutting them at wasn’t the best. If only—

You were almost free when you saw it. 

One of your captors had pulled a hunting javelin from their supply wagon. He must have hid himself at the onset of the fight, but now he was comfortably concealed by the shadows—and taking aim at Jimin. 

Your heart dropped into your stomach. 

The attacker appeared to handle the weapon with familiarity. He was too far back—too well hidden—Jimin would never see him in time—

The last cord around your wrist snapped and you were on your feet, pushing through the combined haze of fury and sedatives to charge the wolf who dared attack your mate. 

By the time he saw you it was far too late. 

Under the effects of the drug your aim was a little skewed but you weren’t Kim Seokjin’s cousin for nothing. 

One clean flick of your wrist and the dagger shot through the air, burying itself between the brute’s shoulder blades—all the way to the hilt. 

His body fell to the ground just as Jimin sent the last of your captors careening into a pile of previously defeated foes. 

For a moment all was quiet. 

Then your eyes locked across the distance and everything around you sharpened to a single whispered word. 

“Jimin.”

He had run non-stop for miles and torn apart a dozen wolves to get to your side—no amount of space between you now was tolerable. 

The sword clattered to the forest floor as he moved toward you—desperate to feel you—to wrap himself around you and know that you were safe. 

What happened next was as natural as breathing.

You opened to him and he lifted you into his arms, taking your lips in a hot unrepentant kiss. 

Fire exploded across your senses, burning away everything but the touch and taste of him. Every part of you was at once fiercely and gloriously alive. Desperate moans passed between you as he licked into your mouth—a dark primal promise of the pleasure he would take between your thighs. 

“Alpha,” you whimpered, too delirious with want to manage anything else. 

Suddenly Jimin’s eyes shot open. His hands flew to cup your face, searching it with a mixture of realization and disbelief.

“You… It was you.”

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[muffindaddystyles]

Summary: Y/N's feeling icky about her body, but Harry loves her to bits and pieces, through thick and thin, in health and sick — and he always waits for her to come back to him.

TW: Body dysmorphia.

Y/N's healthy.

All she sucks in is having a sane sleeping schedule due to her UNI otherwise she eats natural goodies, cook and bake home because it comforts her more that way and she works out every evening to stay fit.

Sometimes though, she’s lazy and lacks behind which’s proper humane but deep down it effects her and her mental health more than she admits and she isn’t able to start over again – it mostly happens after her periods.

Harry loves her the way she’s.

Even if she’s clumsy, bumbling, procrastinating, overly enthusiastic to mend her life at 3 am, snotty and sloth-y in her periods, confident and positive around people, kind and loving whenever she comes to meet him, whiny and cuddly when she’s sick, jealous and grumpy with his attention not on her —- he loves her in every way possible, to rivers and to sea his love could never stutter for her ever.

He loves how she’s not overly toned, having soft squishy spots which Harry undeniably wants to admire and kiss shamelessly amount of times -- like -- her plummy pretty thighs that Harry likes to nestle his head in-between making her wriggle and squirm under his grasp, her overly cute tummy that Harry dies to pepper sweet adoring kisses and petal his lips round her belly button, everytime they’re cuddled up his bicep’s always looped her around her tummy to feel it rising up and down in calm rhythm, and oh! her tender titties, they’re actually his favourite babies and he loves to fondle them in his big calloused palms brushing his thumb over the sensitive perky nub and basks in the glittery whimpery mewls of hers.

He loves that she’s curvy and gives zero fucks if she’s skinny or not.

He thinks his baby’s perfect.

So perfect he actually feels the bubbling of devotion and affection filling to the brim of his heart’s chambers and leaking out and upon his ribs tickling him.

Y/N's his person and he worships her with his whole heart.

From some days though, she’s feeling devastatingly insecure about all her things Harry’s in love with and she has no-control over it how much she tries.

Harry’s observing that all with optimism (one of his great quality's that like a lion sly about his prey, he keeps an eye on everything but pretends otherwise). He has his intense gaze fixed on her when she’s taking a look of herself in the mirror for rather too long, running her hands down her body and practically shuddering.

He glances from over his laptop and drops everything he's doing watching her go monkies, sweating buckets and over exercising than her usual time.

He brings her closer and infront of him, pressing her to his chest and coiling his forearm around her shoulders whining a, “Baby..!” when they were brushing their teeth and despite of standing beside him and teasing him occasionally like she usually does she stuffs her face into the crest of his back and hides herself there to have minimal contact with her reflection in the mirror.

Her body dysmorphia spiking dangerously high.

“Deprived me of your cuddles. woke me up so early, granny.” She huffs lying through her teeth and how much his embrace was strong enough to keep her in place she still managed to wiggle out taking her previous cosy position, but he could feel her muscles tensing and an awkward silence falling over them.

He didn’t pry much. He wants to give her as much space as she requires to come back to him hale and hearty, as she always does and whatever happens he never forgets to remind her how much he loves her every night.

..

They were watching rom-coms on Netflix back to back with her curled up into his side with a spongy white wool knitted blanket thrown over them and his cheek was smashed atop her head popping in peanuts every now and then when out of certain she spoke pointing at the actress, “You know she got her ribs removed to get that shrinky waist.” Harry frowned at that. His face itching into disbelief and concern under the bouncing glow of telly.

He affixes his gaze down at her trying to read what’s cooking up in that genius brain of her's which isn’t being very rational and genius right now, they immediately turns soft and caring when she blinks up at him purely.

She squeaks, nose crashing against his collarbones when he scooches her up in his lap grabbing onto her knees to make her straddle his torso and he grumbles cutely when she tries not put all of her weight on him and doesn’t melts into him as his sweet lovie would used to do receiving a smack on her bum on his end.

He’s afraid that an evil version of her chomped onto his dear baby alive.

“Nothing else matters if all ye’ organs are packed safely and healthily inside you,” He tells her brushing loose frays of her hair behind her earlobe and rubs his thumb in gentle strokes over her treacly pulsing point, “Was just telling you ...” She mumbles, dotting touches on his knuckles and playing with his bare cold fingers.

It’s true, she was rambling out facts about the movie and cast out of habit because no-way she’d ever go through any surgeries to change herself to become someone she isn’t.

“Swear!” She yawps out in convincing high pitch when Harry squints down at her with his lips scrunched, one eye twitching in doing so.

“Alrighty. I believe you.” He cradles her cheeks in his palms and brings her mighty close to him to peck her cupid bow, then her bottom lip and the corners of her smiling mouth to suckle generous amount of whines from her and then kisses her lovingly – hands streaming down her spine and then resting atop her dip.

He thought she was ready to come back to him, to share her problem with him and Harry really wanted to bug in, to not let her fight her battle alone and take half of her hardships from her fretting self but guess not.

They were about to have sex when panic seeped in Y/N's eyes and her cheeks blazed up in that of embarrassment as she rushed to switch off the lamps that were the only source of light in their room.

“Moppet.” Harry sighed, knowing exactly what’s happening and she isn’t as foxy in covering it up as she’s thinking herself to be.

“Why wouldn’t y'want me t'see gorgeous self of yours?” His tone punctured and hurt, feeling useless for not knowing how to cheer her up and break her worries down. He smoothens his hands behind her to lock his arm around her waist, fingertips making grape sized indents into the flesh of her hip-bone as she streaks the tip of her nose up and down the crook of his neck, murmuring meekly against his salty skin while he hugs her warmly.

“’M just feelin’ shy.” He giggles at her response puckering his lips against her hairline to pet tiny, tiny kisses there as she fists her hands against his taught chest.

“Not somethin’ I haven’t seen before, love bug.” He blows raspberries against the underside of her jaw and their mouths meet into a messy, giggling, teeth clanking kiss when she sinks into pillows allowing him to cocoon her in his heat.

“I love you, Y/N. No matter what.”

.

The last dam breaker for them was this little get together at Sarah and Mitch's baby shower.

She matched her outfit with Harry. Cute lavender coloured little sweater blouse that was familiar to the baggy baby yarn cardigan Harry was wearing, it accentuated her curves and her bosom so prettily -- her midriff peeking from where the buttons weren’t closed and their jeans were painted (they did it themselves one Sunday when it was extra boring and inactive).

Y/N felt uncomfortable in her own clothes. A bitterness spreading inside her for herself and all she wanted was to escape away from her own skin.

She knows she’s loved and welcomed and cherished by her friends and family and the love of her life, most importantly. Then why was she feeling so icky about herself? Why everything's draining her and exhausting her?

Harry obviously could see through the gloomy tenebrous energy overshadowing her as he stood in the corner of the room grabbing the sorbet he poured in two glasses for them.

A sour guzzle of tears choking his throat and his limbs weakening letting the painful heartbreak seep into him when he watches her being fidgety and fiddling with the loops of her jeans, tugging her blouse every passing second and he’s sniffling a hiccup deep in his lungs when she shrinks into herself in dejection staring out of the window without any purpose.

Harry feels awful to startle her when he plops down beside her, coodling her closer to himself and tucks her head beneath his chin subtly and cups his palm under her jaw to make her look in eyes his eyes.

“Hi beautiful,” His tone had a saddening waver in it and his irises mossed bleak when Y/N remains unresponsive, zoning in and out of her own head feeling herself prisoned into her own invasive thoughts.

“You w'na go home darling?” He gives her a wet smile clearing his throat and blinking the stubborn moisture in his eyes away when Y/N nodded without any vivid expression.

All the way back home he denounced himself of not making her feel loved enough, to not to pest her soon about what she’s feeling and letting her slide deeper into the dark hole.

He thinks he’s a piece of shit.

.

Y/N wanted to dig the earth with her own nails and hide into it and never show her face again, she was overly ashamed of herself.

His hand was holding onto hers tightly, never letting it go as he led them through the hallway and his head perked up in confusion when she stopped them abruptly and lunged to wrap herself around him like he’s the last silver of her hope and the reason to live.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry.” There comes the first sob after ages of suffering and bottling it all in, not shocked at all he was expecting it to happen. Gently he picks her up and wraps her legs around him, keeping his support firm under her bum as she cried into his soft white t-shirt.

Carefully he sits them on the edge of the bed and tries to pry her soaky flushed face in his cradle but she refuses to show him, clutching onto his cardigan and whimpering brokenly.

“I just feel so disgusting,” Her sob scratches out of her throat and for a second he thought he heard her wrong, that her feeble crying’s playing some kind of a sick game with his heart.

“Harry do something I don’t want to feel disgusting.” But, when she pleaded helplessly a cold shiver settled in his bone marrow spreading an agonising burn in his stomach.

Gently he stirs her away from his chest to look at her, meeting their foreheads together while his thumb wiped her tears away and smoothed over her wabbly lips in profound tenderness.

“My beloved,” He whispers fondling his nose against hers and her eyes flutters into realm of calms, shaky breath falling over his lips as he brings her trembling fingertips towards them and pecks them feverishly.

“The love of me life, me heart.” He continues, “Shhh. Shh baby ‘s okay to cry but don’t tire y'self.” He hushes her when she whimpers loudly at his coy affirmation.

“I’m here with you, waiting f'you, watching y’goin’ through a stony path so I could be there to hold you whenever you trip –-,” He pets her hair, cupping the back of her neck to plant his lips bitten red from worry to her puffy damp eyelids and Y/N becomes a gooey lax of candle that’s been burning for tiring amount and finally her lover came to blew the agonising flame away putting her to peace as he coos snuggling her in his cordial embrace, “You’ve been so strong to yourself and ‘m so proud of me baby.”

“I’m always here. Never away from you, always right by y'side.” His palms bending around her ribs to smush her as intimately close as possible.

“How d'ya want your huggies babylove?” He simpers down at her darlingly, huffing out in relief seeing her relaxing -- her shoulders sinking from him massaging the knots in them.

“Tight.” She mumbles timidly. The gleam in her glossy eyes returning when Harry hugs her as she wished, squishing her in right places and not suffocating her at all – their breaths in sync chests flushed against eachother.

“I love you cuddly, and care f’you.” He kisses her on lips then goes to hug her right back.

“I love you too, Har. Thank you.” She sniffs in his woodsy scent grazing her touch up and down his back, smooching a soft kiss at his cheek.

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

I Can't Help It If You Look Like an Angel

Summary: Spencer is not that kind of doctor, but he'll always come when Y/N needs him, even if germs are involved.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Warnings: One cuss (sh!t), kisses, small insecurities

Word Count: 2.5 k (was not supposed to be this long but I'm a monster)

Author's Note: From this list (3, 12, 14) since I hit 300 followers! Thank you! This request is from @willowrose99 (look for the bold)

I Can't Help It If You Look Like an Angel

Spencer’s half done with his third book that weekend when his phone rang. A weekend spent in the company of Nietzsche and Sartre is, according to Spencer at least, a weekend well spent. He can feel the relaxation that settles in his bones come crashing down as he phone rings.

Thinking it’s Hotch calling the team in for an unexpected case, Spencer, lethargically, walks over to answer the phone. However, realizing the caller is not his boss pulling him away from a restful weekend, but Y/N, his heart rushes with a sudden urge of excitement.

“Y/N,” Spencer starts. He’s more than happy to have Y/N interrupt his weekend; they even made plans for a day out on Saturday at the new Anthropology museum that opened downtown. But all of Spencer’s made up plans fall in front of his face, as he hears Y/N’s quiet sniffles.

“Spencer, I’m so sorry to bother you. I know that you’re probably enjoying your rest, but I guess I have a cold. One of the kids at school, I suppose,” Y/N tells him in between sniffles. Her voice is scratchy and Spencer tries not to think about how his brain seems to short circuit at the way his name sounds.

“I’m coming over,” Spencer says, cutting her off. He doesn’t like doing that, in fact he hates when that happens to him, but right now he knows that Y/N is going to try her hardest to stop him from coming over.

“No Spence, it’s germs. You hate germs and I’m really gross and snotty and—”

“Stop, Y/N. Don’t say another word. I’m on my way” Spencer says. He feels a little guilty for hanging up on her, but he knows that if he stayed on the line any longer she’d end up convincing him that he didn’t need to rush over. There’s not a lot of people in this world that can convince Spencer to change his mind, and he’s pretty sure that Y/N is one of them.

Spencer walks into his bedroom, looking for some supplies like a man on a mission. He decides to pack a small bag for the next three days. He’s off from work anyway, why not spend that time making sure Y/N gets better. Spencer packs away a couple of sweaters, flannel pajama pants and two thermal shirts. In the back of his drawer he spots a very old college tee shirt.

A memory, an early memory with Y/N, comes flooding to the surface. They got caught in a rainstorm after a picnic in the nearby park. Spencer changed into his comfortable tee shirt and pajamas. He would never forget the look on Y/N’s face; the way the rain collected on her glasses and for some reason she had yet to wipe them off. She called him an angel. Maybe it’s for bringing her some warm clothes or maybe she’s slightly on edge from their dash into Spencer’s apartment. Whatever it was that made her call him an angel, Spencer never wanted her to call him anything else. Besides his own name, in that scratchy sick voice that made him feel a little guilty for liking so much.

Spencer collects some other things he needs for his stay. A toothbrush, toothpaste, a hair brush, and his hair serum that Y/N says she likes the way it smells. When she told him that, Spencer could hardly wait to buy the entire supply from the CVS down the street. He tucks away in this bag with a small smile.

Walking out of his apartment, Spencer locks up and makes his way down to his car. He glances at his watch, realizing that it only took him a couple of minutes to get ready for Y/N. Quicker than what it takes for him to get ready for an emergency case. Then again, tending to a sick Y/N seems much pleasurable then looking at served bodies and mangled limbs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After making a pit stop at a small convenience store near Y/N’s apartment, Spencer pulls into the guest parking spot near her complex. He attempts to shoulder the weight of his go bag; even though he only packed a couple philosophy books, they are quite dense. In his hands, he grasps the grocery bags.

Y/N’s apartment, thankfully, is on the first floor. Spencer approaches the door and thinks twice about knocking or ringing the doorbell. The last thing he wants to do is wake a sick Y/N up. He rummages in his pants for his car keys. Attached to the keys is a cat keychain with a spare key to Y/N’s apartment. Balancing the groceries and his own bag, Spencer quietly attempts to open Y/N’s door without possibly waking her up.

Once he finally gets the door open, Spencer realizes all too late that a large orange cat guards the tight hallway entrance. Spencer Reid, though a genius in his own right, is completely aware of the fact that he has two left feet.

“Oh, Zelda! Oh shit!,” Spencer yells as he trips over Zelda, Y/N’s orange cat. Zelda, scared from the noise, leaps from her spot guarding the hallway to the kitchen. Spencer brushes himself from his fall and picks up the groceries that fell during his tumble.

“Zelda, baby?” Y/N calls from what sounds like the couch from the other side of the wall.

“Hi Y/N, it’s just me. It’s just Spencer,” He says, placing the oranges back in his canvas bag and on the kitchen table. He sees Y/N laying on the couch. Surrounded by a pile of crumpled tissues, she smiles weakly at Spencer. He walks over to her and like an involuntary muscle, she scoots her feet so Spencer has room to sit.

Spencer, setting the beg on the floor, tucks Y/N’s legs over his. He rests a comforting hand on her calf that’s covered by a worn quilt.

“You didn’t have to come Spencer. I’m really okay, I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t ghosting you this weekend,” Y/N explains. The TV has been left on, but on mute. The colorful lights illuminate Y/N’s face in her dimly lit apartment.

“Nonsense, Y/N. What are friends for,” Spencer offers, wondering beyond belief if he messed up calling them friends. Their relationship had been quite strange for the past couple of weeks. Intense moments of silence where Spencer thinks he’d have the time to memorize every freckle on her nose or small grazes from fingers to wrists where Spencer swears she left scars that he hope would never heal.

“Friends,” Y/N says quietly. Spencer, offering a tight lipped smile, leans forward to straighten the blankets under Y/N’s chin. He presses the back of his hand towards Y/N’s forehead, feeling her warm skin under his knuckles. He’s not sure if the heat he feels is from her bug or from the adrenaline coursing through his veins at being this close to Y/N.

“You’re hot,” Spencer says, not moving his hand from Y/N’s forehead. She, loving the way his ears turn pink when he’s embarrassed, uncovers her arm from under the blankets and holds onto his wrist, keeping him attached to her forehead. Not that he’d want it any other way.

“So are you,” Y/N says. Spencer flinches and moves his hand from her forehead like she scorched his hand. In reality, her comment pierced his heart with hope.

“How much cough syrup did you take?” Spencer asks, choosing to face the situation with humor. There’s no way in the world Y/N could ever find him “hot” without the aid of cough syrup or another mind numbing substance.

“None,” Y/N says, reaching around to turn off the television. Spencer, getting increasingly nervous as the minutes of that intense silence passed, mentions to Y/N that he needs to put the groceries away.

“You really didn’t need to do that, Spence. I feel bad enough that you came here just to get sick yourself,” Y/N says. She’s folding the blankets that she was just resting under.

“I’ll always come when you need me to, Y/N” Spencer says, his breath catching and his eyes latching onto Y/N. He looks at her too long and there’s that intense silence again. Silence that is as thick as fog. Spencer can’t see facts through all the love that swallows him whole looking at Y/N.

“Maybe I knew that, and maybe that’s why I called you,” Y/N murmurs quietly, almost like she’s more scared to admit it to herself than to Spencer.

“Maybe,” Spencer says, breaking her gaze to put the half melted tub of green tea ice cream in the freezer.

“I think I’m going to shower, I need to put a fresh pair of pajamas on. I’ll be right out,” Y/N tells him, turning on her heel and leaving Spencer along with his thoughts.

Spencer can hear the water from the shower turn on. He estimates that Y/N will take at least 5 minutes in the shower, accounting for a margin of error, he supposes that he should start to heat the soup he bought from the store now, so it’s ready for Y/N when she’s done in the shower. Too bad all Spencer’s brain power is good for his statistics and numbers, not recipes and romance.

As it turns out, not a single statistic, nor a single digit could account for the possibility of Y/N walking out her bedroom, her hair damp and skin practically glowing, wearing Spencer’s worn college tee shirt. Spencer reckons that his eyes must have been bugging out from his head, given the spirited smile Y/N wears.

“I’m sorry, Spence, you know how much I love this tee shirt. I was putting some of your stuff away in your drawer and I saw this and I just couldn’t help myself. God it even smells a little bit like that hair gunk you wear,” Y/N rambles. She stands, leaning on her door frame, staring at Spencer who holds a wooden spoon that he used to stir the soup.

“You look like an angel,” Spencer says before he can stop himself. He just knows that his face is flaming red.

“You remember that?” Y/N asks, her voice light and hopeful. Spencer recognizes something in it. It’s the way his voice sounds when he talks to her, about her, with her. He can only hope that this is the way she always talks to him. He hopes with every fiber of his being that she uses that light and hopeful voice with him and only him.

“Of course Y/N. Then again, even if I didn’t have an eidetic memory, I’d still remember every single detail about you,”

“Now you’re making me feel guilty about stealing your shirt. You’re being all sweet and kind with me, it makes me fuzzy in the head,” Y/N confesses. She walks to her kitchen table, slowly closing the gap between her and Spencer.

“Keep it, it looks better on you anyway,” Spencer tells her. Her eyes grow big at his words and she presses her lips together like she’s holding something in. But something in her switches. Something in her grows a little sad and Spencer watches before his eyes as Y/N withdraws into herself.

“You can’t say that stuff to me, Spencer. You can’t say that stuff to me and not expect me to love you more than I already do,” Y/N says, her eyes shut and her lips pinched so tightly that it almost looks painful.

“Y/N,” Spencer starts, unsure what he’s supposed to say. His brain always seems to be playing catch up around Y/N. “Can I say it if I do love you back?”

Y/N eyes flutter open and narrow at Spencer, as if she’s reading him. Her eyes scan for any sign of a joke, of a prank, of Spencer trying to trick her. Maybe he should be upset that Y/N is doubting him, but all Spencer can feel is hatred for the person that made her doubt herself so much to not believe him.

“I’ve never felt what I feel when I’m with you, Y/N. No one else has made me feel truly me except you, Y/N,” Spencer professes, setting down the wooden spoon on the counter to reach Y/N’s hand.

“I never thought you’d feel the same way, Spence. I love you, God. That feels so good to say,” Y/N says, letting out a strained laugh. Spencer standing up next to her, places his hands on Y/N cheeks, and tries to lean in lower to kiss her, but Y/N’s finger on his lips stops his movement.

“I’m so sorry, I should have asked. I thought that this is-” Spencer stammers, suddenly very concerned that he violated Y/N in some way.

“Shhh, angel. It’s okay. I want you to kiss me. I really do, but I just want you to tell the facts on you getting sick if you kiss me,” Y/N says, not moving her finger from Spencer’s soft lips. He kisses her finger and grasps her hand with his.

“Sorry, I just had to do that,” Spencer smirks, “but to answer your question, unless you have a bad cough, and some of the respiratory mucus has made its way into your saliva, the cold virus will not be transmitted by kissing,”

“That’s good, so please kiss me, Spencer,” Y/N practically begs, eager for Spencer to leave pieces of him all over her. Eager for him to leave physical evidence of the marking he’s already left on her heart.

“You just might have to take care of me next week,” Spencer counters, peppering kisses over her jaw, knowing he’s purposely avoiding her lips.

“Spencer, I’m sick! Don’t tease me, just kiss me,” Y/N whines, and Spencer caves. He leans in slowly, meeting his lips to Y/N’s. It was the kiss that Spencer knew he’d be waiting for. A kiss that seals fate without a return address. A kiss that reminds him that he’s alive. A kiss that says forever and always.

Spencer, resting his chin against Y/N’s head, closes his eyes. The intense silence that existed between them, now is this light and hopeful air.

“Y/N, do you use my hair gunk?” Spencer asks. He can’t help but giggle with her and breathe in the familiar scent of her hair. He places three kisses on Y/N’s head and gently pushes her hair to the side to kiss down the back of her neck.

“I’m not sure what I love more, the smell of your hair gunk or the man that wears it,”

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TAGLIST (Comment to be added or send in an ask)

@shemarmooresfedora

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Requests from this posts are being filled since I hit 300 followers, so send in up to 3 numbers!

Tell me what you thought!

[blueseasfanfics]

Reunions and Fake Dates 2

Read the first one here!

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 719

Description: You needed a date to a high school reunion that you didn't really want to go to, remembering the bad days of teenage-hood. Loki was available, and barely willing. You're both there, now you just have to get past the table and the snotty woman that sits behind it. Loki proves a good actor, if he's acting at all. So much fluff.

A/N: Hello again. I'm no fully back, as I'm a full-time University student, plus work 20 hours a week, plus trying to fill my resume up. I had a request to finish this series and I have some more time before exams so I plan on finishing this plotline and maybe writing a couple new ones. I'll probably come back with some new stuff over December. In the meantime, if anyone has any of my stories you'd like some more of, let me know! I'll do my best to write those first. Anyway, hope y'all have a happy holidays!

If you would like to support me financially so I could do these more often, I have a Ko-Fi! Anything helps. Thank you! https://ko-fi.com/starryeyedalien

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You feel like an interloper.

Walking into the gym, your vision is taken over by cheap red and black streamers and balloons everywhere. A banner with a painted “Welcome Back Owls!” is hanging up high on the ceiling, waving in the fan of the air conditioner.

“By the Norns, it’s cold in here.” Loki mutters next to you and you chuckle. It’s way too cold if a Frost giant is freezing.

You grab his hand and he looks at you in surprise.

“We have to keep up appearances.” You whisper, blushing at your own movement. In reality, you just wanted to warm his hand up, forgetting that physical touch is untreaded territory. Trying to swallow back your embarrassment, you bring him up to the table with IDs, sharpies, and one particularly mean girl named Tanya.

You hate Tanya.

She hates you.

“Omygod! Hi! It’s so good to see you! Damn, look at you! Spin for me!” Tanya squeals as she sees you and you raise an eyebrow. She waves for you to start and you nervously spin a little bit, and she claps in childish amusement.

“You look so good! I did not expect that!” She says, grabbing your hand from Loki’s and holding it between her palms. Her hands are cold and clammy. Like a lizard.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks. Your hair looks...good, Tanya.”

It doesn’t.

“Oh yes, I think my hairdresser called it Sennep Yellow, I think. She’s Icelandic I think, they have such funny words.”

Loki badly hides a snort and you slap him on the thigh as you smile at her warmly. Tanya gives him a puzzled look, then fully looks at him for the first time. Loki composes himself under her stare, and you grow irritated by her stunned silence.

“Tanya? You still there?”

“Oh! Yes! I’m just seeing if this nice man needs some help? Who did you come here with?”

“Guess.” Loki says dryly, taking your hand again. You try to hide the blush rushing to your face, but it’s no use. You’re in an anime now, your emotions are so obvious. You might as well get a nosebleed. You may actually get a nosebleed just listening to Tanya’s even louder squeal.

“Look at you both! I really didn’t expect this to ever happen! Wait, I need the camera.” She starts digging around in her bag and you and Loki share an eye roll. She pops back up with the camera and starts taking photos, and you try to cover up your face in the face of the flurry.

“There! These are perfect, no one will ever believe it otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey Tanya, can we get our IDs now?” You mutter, just wanting to get away from her and her “omygod”s and “I’d never believe”s.

“Oh yeah, yeah sure. Here, I have yours already, and Mr. Tall over here will have to write his name. And maybe his number.” She winks at Loki, and he grimaces and just writes L on the sticker. Tanya looks surprised, and tries to hide her disappointment by turning to the next couple people that came in.

You put yours on and he just holds his, and you tut, taking the ID sticker in your hand and unpeeling it, putting it onto his chest. He looks at you quizzically and you roll your eyes.

“You can deal with a sticker on your suit for one night.”

“You didn’t need to put it on for me.”

“Apparently, I did. You weren’t doing it.”

“You just wanted to touch me more, is that it?”

You cough loudly to cover up his words, which attracted more attention than he would have gotten anyway so now your embarrassment is at full tilt. May actually get a nosebleed now.

“Look,” You whisper harshly up to him. “We have to put on airs, ok? As a couple. Or else I’m just a sad person bringing a friend.”

“Got it. No friends. Only lovers.”

“Dear god Loki, do you have to say it like that?”

“Of course honey bunny.” You can hear the slightest chuckle as he bends down and kisses the top of your head before snaking a hand around your waist and whispering in your ear.

“How else will anyone know that I’m the luckiest one here? Lover.”

Nosebleed.

[ladybirdwithoutdots]

..faultless in spite of all her faults

Everytime I read people complain claim that Anya Taylor Joy's Emma is 'too mean', a bitch, or even 'cruel' I always get the impression they aren’t really comparing her portrayal to the actual book, and thus the character as it’s really written by Austen, but they are, rather, comparing her to their favorite adaptation(s) and thus the personal interpretation of those writers, and whether the 2020 version aligns with THAT interpretation. While I totally understand that kind of bias,  and I don’t think I’m 100% immune to it, it’s honestly frustrating and unfair.

For one,  I don't remember where Emma in the 2020 movie is so 'cruel' or mean, or significantly more mean than her book counterpart, anyway.  If anything, all the scenes where she's being unlikable at the beginning are taken directly from the book itself (so shouldn’t you blame Austen for that?). Truthfully, they didn't even really include everything. Notably, in the book she's far more manipulative with Harriet (e.g. the whole passive aggressive 'we couldn't be friends if you mixed with those people' narrative), and she makes some snotty comments about Robert Martin, his family and the Coles, and even about Harriet, that Anya's Emma doesn't make because this version omits these things for the most part or only indirectly hints them (such as when Mr Knightley comments being surprised to see her at the Coles’ party). And let's not even forget the fact the movie ultimately makes her way more likable in the end towards Harriet for, in the book, as much as Emma feels bad for manipulating her and she cares about the girl, she still more or less drops her like a hot potato when she realizes she’s in love with Mr Knightley. Book Emma has her character growth and she matures in the end, but she’s still consistently as classist as you’d expect a woman of her status to be even if at her core she’s good. In that aspect, Austen makes no attempt to apologize for or pretend Emma doesn’t have that side in her (or that it does magically disappear completely in the end).

Back to Anya, I've read some complain that scenes like 'I want to keep Harriet to myself' make her seem too selfish and childish but that phrase is in the novel itself, lol. Other adaptations may omit it but I don’t see why de Wilde should’ve done the same. I believe that phrase is important to illustrate the fact that Emma IS childish and selfish there, even though she thinks she's doing what she's doing to 'help' her 'friend' (and yes, she’s also trying to derail Mr Knightley and deny his accusation that she’s matchmaking, let’s not forget that). She's egocentric and selfish (spoiler: she will realize that) and treats Harriet like a doll to manipulate and turn into everything she wants her to be because she’s lonely and bored and her only female friend got married (the fact Harriet ends up wanting the same guy she loves is, IMO, part of Austen’s wicked sense of humor in showing Emma how much her arrogance backfires). Subconsciously, a part of her doesn't really care about Harriet's happiness in that point of the story even if she genuinely convinces herself that she's doing everything for her good. But let’s be real, one of the big reasons why Emma doesn’t want Harriet to marry Robert is because she doesn’t see herself as the friend of the farmer’s wife; that’s part of the reason why she insists wanting to pair Harriet with creepy Elton instead: because she thinks she knows best sure but also it would be more convenient or easier for her to be friends with Harriet if she’s married to a guy closer to her own ‘world’. Notably, though, she’s hypocritical enough to believe Harriet could be Mr Elton’s equal in spite of her being a lower rank than him,  but when it’s to her that he ultimately proposes, she is outraged and thinks he’s uppity for even imagining he could be at HER level and thus marry someone like her, Emma Woodhouse. She also does a 180° about dear Harriet when the latter tells her that she thinks Mr Knightley wants to marry her: in the middle of entire paragraphs where Emma is very hard with herself and feels guilty for being once again the reason why her friend may end up with a heartbreak, there also is space for her to find Harriet  uppity for thinking that she could get a man like Mr Knightley. She’s actually concerned he may ruin his reputation and degrade himself, essentially ruining his life, to marry his inferior (Harriet) for her fault because she’s the one who ‘included Harriet in the party’ and made her access to a world she would never be allowed to access to without her interference.

Honestly, the movie shows only 2% of that side of book Emma because while they boldly keep her more in character, in my opinion, than previous versions, they aren’t naive and they know that keeping her 100% accurate to the book is near impossible when you want to still sell the movie to a modern audience that likely also has double standards for female characters compared to male ones (e.g., just compare people’s response to Darcy and Emma and how much the first is worshiped and his character growth overinflated, where Emma is only hated for her flaws and her character growth minimized, in spite of him being a male Emma who has pretty similar flaws).

Neverthless, to claim the movie showed only Emma’s bad/annoying side is disingenuos because putting aside the ending where she’s decidedly nicer, there are scenes that hint and illustrate her good/sweet side too and why people care about her since the beginning.

In fact, I believe they did a great job showing that duality in Emma since the very first minutes: the opening scene where you see her acting ‘rich privileged girl’ stereotype with her maid while picking the flowers is contrasted with the next sequence where you see that the flowers actually were for her friend Anne (so you realize she woke up early in the morning to make a nice bouquet to gift to her friend for her wedding) and you do see a sweet, more vulnerable and emotional Emma in their scene; an Emma that kind of seems like another person compared to the girl you just saw a minute before... and yet, both these girls represent the character, albeit different opposite sides of her but both equally true especially at this point of the story.

Similarly, you see other moments in the movie where she’s nice with Harriet, Mr Knightley, Mr and Mrs Weston, and of course her father (I love how subtle and sweet their relationship is portrayed here, such as when she hugs him when he already misses Isabella and you understand why she feels like she can’t leave her father too, or when he tries to comfort her after box hill by just being there with her, sitting next to her on the window).

That's, in a way, the point: Emma is likable only with those she loves and who care about her, that's why those people (saved for Mr Knightley and the reader) are biased about her and cannot see her flaws or faults.

Even with Miss Bates, Anya does a good job conveying Emma's 'inner annoyance' contrasted with her apparently acting nice and polite with the woman.

It’s that annoyance hidden behind even her smiles that is so on point to me, a subtle thing that the audience may see but that Miss Bates is oblivious about until she isn’t in that infamous box hill scene where Anya’s acting is great in showing the exact, subtle moment when she realizes she had said too much and she feels ashamed even as she tries her best keeping her control. Equally effective is the scene later when she ‘apologizes’, in her way, to Miss Bates and you can clearly see how ashamed she feels, how unworthy of the woman’s kind words to her and her respect and genuine affection (the way I see it, and I think it’s realistic, it’s the moment where Emma also really understands - and with her the audience too - that woman’s actual condition and she feels pity for her)

The thing is, in the book most of Emma's real, honest feelings are only in her thoughts and they don’t always coincide with the way she may appear to other characters, or the way she tries to present herself to them.

I always thought Emma was the most complex of Austen heroines (and the hardest to adapt) for this reason too, and I believe trying to convey that dichotomy in a movie adaptation isn't the most simple thing ever because a book and movie have too different narrative devices.   However, I do feel Anya's eyes are expressive enough to display that ‘inner life’ of Emma. It’s those contrasting and contradictory feelings that some reviews also praised the actress for being able to express, and I agree about that. The whole “she’s good and can be nice but she’s still spoiled and she’s naturally influenced by the fact she’s a woman from a specific time and context” subtext is also on point.

I also think the movie does a good job conveying the fact Emma is lonely and Harriet may be the only female friend closer to her age that she has, even if their relationship is, ultimately, problematic and will never be real friendship because they aren’t equals.

The way I see it, even some changes such as the infamous nosebleed scene aren't just a gratuitous thing put there just for the sake of being funny or creative.

The movie is often praised for (or minimized as) the beautiful aesthetic but I think many miss the point that de Wilde was, IMO, trying to actually make there. The aesthetic, the care in which they try to accurately represent clothes and hired an etiquette expert to teach the actors about those people’s mannerism, and when and how it was appropriate for them to do things or touch people, in short all that making everything seem so accurate and tidy and pretty and perfect is also a means to actually emphasize how flawed and human the characters actually are when their human imperfections ‘break’ that perfect aesthetic in unexpected ways.

This is an aspect that no doubt the movie displays with Mr Knightley for example but also, foundamentally, with Emma herself.

From the beginning, it seems she is trying to be perfect (and even her world seems to reflect that with its apparent perfection) but then, in the most romantic moment, she cannot be perfect and her humanity completely destroys that facade she created of herself... but she doesn’t care anymore (and HE doesn’t care because he always loved her even with her imperfections).

It's a different yet interesting interpretation of the book character IMO, but it also is consistent as an attempt to convey something hard to convey in a movie that is the fact that, in the book, in that particular moment she's indeed overwhelmed by feelings (both for Mr Knightley but also how guilty and bad she feels about Harriet), but most of that is something you only read in her thoughts and it would be impossible to show it on screen too without a narrator. In fact, you could argue other adaptations of Emma almost make it seems like she doesn’t care about the fact Harriet had told her she loved the guy too only two minutes ago, which isn’t consistent to her character growth at this point. This to point up the fact that, sometimes, following how a scene goes in the book too closely (in this case, by showing things only from the perspective of how book Knightley can see them versus what the readers actually know by reading her thoughts too) may not necessarily work conveying everything you need to convey because a book and movie are too different.

In the end, the nosebleed is no less a personal interpretation and addition than the other adaptations creating other responses/replies from her where there isn't really one written in the book, or making her and Mr Knightley kiss where Austen has them barely touching (and it wouldn’t be realistic for them to kiss the way most of adaptations show them).

Even if you want to argue about the appropriateness of adding comedy to certain moments, I’m going to remind you that Emma IS a comedy. In a way, this adaptation is effective homaging Austen’s witty sense of humor too and the way she was unapologetically true about her characters flaws and the absurdity, weirdness and yes, hypocrisy of highter class/rich people like Emma and Darcy.

Neverthless, if you really want to nitpick, the whole exasperating some things and making scenes more comical than the book makes them isn’t an exclusive to this adaptation either e.g. Emma 2009′s anticlimactic scene (after the quiet mutual love confession) where she runs to Mr Knightley to be a crying and screaming drama-queen about the fact she cannot marry him because of her father isn’t exactly how that moment is actually written in the book, both in terms of dialog - including his response that is more sentimental with words than Mr Knightley actually is there or in general -  and her tone and overall characterization.

As far as I'm concerned,  Emma 2020 is the version (only followed by Kate Beckinsale's) that had the g u t s to simply portray Emma Woodhouse in a way that is more honest and consistent to Austen's own character.  The other adaptations had always made her way too likable and erased her flaws too much in a way that, I believe, is a bit problematic for an accurate adaptation of Emma.

Autumn de Wilde herself pointed up that were she to make her movie ten years ago, executives, especially male ones, would likely demand her to make Emma a more conventionally likable female protagonist.

And yet, making Emma more likable than she is takes away a lot of her character growth and I feel this movie made the latter all the more incisive precisely because they didn't care about trying to make Emma nice at the beginning, or make you like her when she isn't supposed to be so nice. How can you honestly and truly see her maturation and change, and the fact she becomes more nice in the end, if she’s always nice from the beginning?

Austen knew that her heroine wouldn't be liked. She even said that herself. She knew but she didn't write Emma to make people like her or the people Emma allegorically represents. To me, it's deeply ironic that adaptations for the most part took this character and decided to make her seem more nice than she is, and essentially made the character conform to the very clichè expectations for female characters that Austen deliberaly went against when she wrote Emma.

And it’s ironic that the most popular adaptations of Emma are the ones that altered the character the most to make her more...likable.

Is it possible, also, that Anya’s Emma more poised and ladylike mannerism may contribute making her come across as being more ‘mean’ and ‘cold’ (in short, a well known prejudice) for some people among modern audiences, especially those who are used to adaptations that modernize these aspects giving women a significantly more modern, thus relatable, mannerism? Probably. Most likely, actually. 

I, for one, think Emma 2020 shows a good range of emotion and she even has sexual agency, which I praise them for. It took a female creative team to understand something as simple as the fact that just because she realizes her feelings only in the end, it doesn’t mean she cannot react to Mr Knightley in a way that is consistent to the feelings that already exist in her as a woman in love. Even the book hints her jealousy and feelings way before the part where she realizes being in love with him. And anyone who reads her thoughts about him at the ball, when she isn’t even dancing with him yet, cannot be so surprised by this movie’s interpretation of the dance scene. Given how distracted she is by how hot she finds him from afar, while it’s with another man she’s dancing,  it isn’t so crazy to think she’d have some sort of reaction and not look unaffected when he’s finally dancing with her and touching her.

Honestly, I don’t need Anya or anyone who will play Emma in the future to act like a carbon copy of Garai’s version from the 2009 series to understand she has feelings and see her as a human being.  Because let’s admit it, Garai’s Emma is the issue here. It’s the Emma that is used to hate the others. It’s the Emma that is constantly overinflated and put into a competion with the others even before the 2020 came out; the Emma that, to some, had created a set of ‘rules’ all Emma adaptations must follow now, apparently.

All due respect to Emma 2009 fans but I’m tired of people bashing the new movie and its cast, to the extent of posting negative opinions in both the tags and gifsets, because it doesn’t interpret things like the 2009 series did. If you watched the 2020 movie expecting it to be a remake of your favorite adaptation you wasted your time because it never was meant to be that.

As much as I like the series too, it isn’t perfect and I don’t consider it the definitive Emma adaptation that got everything right. Like the 2020 movie, it’s just one of the many interpretations of the book made by modern day authors who need to sell an Austen-based product to a modern audience.

All in all, the thing I’m the most tired about is people judging all the Emmas by comparing them to Garai's portrayal in 2009, that is constantly getting presented as the most faithful and accurate when...it really isn’t for me.

Like Paltrow’s version before her, Garai’s portrayal of Emma is deliberately far more nice, sweet and likable, too likable,  than her book counterpart really is. This, alone, is an issue for me in terms of accuracy because the main point is that Emma isn’t so nice at the beginning and actually gives the reader plenty of reasons to dislike her, but she has character growth. How can you really see her character growth and the fact she becomes nicer in the end if she’s always nice, to begin with? How can you even see that Mr Knightley is right about criticizing her?

She is supposed to be young like you’d expect a 21 years old woman in that context to be, but she’s not a child. She’s naive and clueless about some things but not THAT clueless because she actually is the most clever of her family.

Austen makes you ‘see’ her thoughts and how much she often does know that her actions and manipulations are not innocent, but she gives herself excuses to silence her conscience because she thinks she’s still in the right. Mr Knightley is Austen’s voice if you will, the reliable narrator of Emma’s character who notices her flaws and does see her real colors, but loves her in spite of that and is still able to see his own faults. Were Emma a clueless baby and too innocent, Mr Knightley wouldn’t waste his time criticizing her or trying to argue with her. He does that because he knows that she does have a conscience that can put her on the right path and tell her what is goor or bad, if she wants, if she listens to that side of her and doesn’t let her more spoiled and selfish side eclipse it. Her cleverness and intelligence is one of the traits he admires the most about her too, but if you turn Emma into a naive, misuranderstood child who cannot be perceived as anything but angelic and ‘cute’ even when she’s clearly in the wrong, you are taking away her cleverness too that is part of the integrity of the character just like her flaws and ‘bad side’.

A problem that many also ignore is the fact that alterning Emma to make her  seem more nice and innocent than she really is actually alters Mr Knightley’s character and their dynamic too for he might come across as far more pushy and paternalistic than he really is. Because if you make Emma too nice, you have to tone down the scenes where he argues with her too, but if you do that too much, how can the part in his final confession where he apologizes for always ‘lecturing and blaming her’ ring true and feel authentic??. If you make Emma too nice and naive from the beginning, he has less a reason to criticize her and his pov and own character growth is essentially erased.

Not less important is another polarizing aspect about Garai’s portrayal that is her inaccurate and too modern mannerism: she is unmistakably much more goofy than how I’d expect book Emma, and the kind of people she contextually represents, to effectively be in real life.

I get their ‘country girl’ interpretation, but I disagree with it. For one, I think her mannerism is just another way to deflect about Emma’s flaws and make her more palatable to a modern audience (2005 P&P, that I also love, probably had an influence on that too). She still does the bad things she does in the book, but you are distracted by her seeming so goofy and funny and cute so it’s easier to forgive her and make up excuses for her behavior even when, perhaps, you shouldn’t do that.

Overall, while I DO see some merit in that ‘country girl’ interpretation,  I think they went over the top with it and projected some quite anachronistic prejudices on country people, tbh. It’s decidedly influenced by a modern perspective that not only clashes with the Emma from the book (she’s a REAL snob but she is believable about it and she isn’t without integrity), but also the context and how Austen herself actually depicts people of lower rank than Emma such as Robert Martin (a farmer but still more a gentleman and educated than Emma’s snobby self would allow him), and all her other heroines of poorer condition and rank who (like Emma) lack experience and also live in the country side and are part of a limited social circle. Yes, Emma's world is limited, she probably didn’t have a ‘London season’ and what have you.. but neither did the others and most of ladies at the time. This, however, doesn’t mean she still isn’t part of her own context where some things would more or less be in her dna because it was part of people’s.. normality. Even the clothes they wore educated women about having a certain posture since they were little because, simply put, there wasn’t an alternative for them.   There is no hint in the book that Emma isn’t poised and elegant or perceived like that; in fact, they all think Jane is the only one who could be her equal.. and Jane is considered elegant.

The series essentially turns Emma into one of the young Bennet sisters where book Emma would frankly snob those characters. 

And listen, you can accuse Emma of having many flaws and yes, she can be a hypocrite with the way she picks and chooses where she has to be classist (or the fact she helps the poor in the same breath she snubs the Coles and Martins), but I believe one thing where she is coherent about and not so hypocritical is the fact I can see why, to someone like her, people like Mrs Elton are gross, and I can see where she can ‘teach’ Harriet about how to be more ladylike in a way ‘improving’ her. This is an aspect I’m affraid adaptations should be a tad believable about.

Her role as a ‘female leader’ in the community, as well as the contrast between her and Mrs ‘new money’ Elton and Harriet should still be obvious and believable, IMO. Mrs Elton in particular is a lot like a caricature of Emma for she shares some of her flaws but unlike Emma, she is delusional about her class, manners and elegance and how people perceive her. She envies Emma and considers her a competition because she likely recognizes that Emma has what she wishes to have but that no money can buy.

The problem with Emma 2009 is also the contrast with how other Austen heroines are depicted. That Emma, of all Austen ladies, would be represented by adaptations (eg  BBC ones) as being less refined and poised as a lady than Elizabeth, Jane, Elinor etc will always be far fetched to me and hard to find believable especially when, if anything, in my mind she’s so much a female Darcy that it’s like someone turned him into Bingley and gave him Mr Collins’ mannerism. It’s hard to grasp for me.

For me, Emma’s context and yes the fact she’s a privileged rich girl from the gentry is very important and not an insignificant detail to erase or ignore. Both she and Darcy are good but they have flaws that are, or at least should be, understandable and realistic in their context. Were you to take Emma to the modern world or change her context, would the character still be completely the same? I don’t think so unless you could replicate, in modern time, the exact condition of a rich 1800 lady who grew up with no other opinion but her own and that of people who think like her (yes, I like Clueless and it was effective as a modern au of Emma but you gotta admit even that had limits, it’s inevitable). In fact, a lot of my issues with people who hate Emma isn’t really about the fact I don’t think people have a reason to dislike the character for there are plenty; my issue with the hate she gets is the fact people often project modern expectations on her and fail to understand that for a woman in her context it is realistic she’d behave in a certain way and perceive some things in a way that might seem classist and snotty and cold to us, but it wasn’t like that at the time and it would make perfect sense for someone like Emma to see things like that. The beauty of Austen’s writing is the fact most of her characters are closer, in a way, to what was her own condition at the time and she generally shows rich privileged people in a not so favorable light.. and yet, she still creates characters like Darcy and Emma that show she actually had a more complex and wider perception of people for she recognized that there could be good people even among the ones that, for their context and in part for their personality, are the most flawed and can be the most annoying.

Tl dr: the way I see it, Austen’s Emma probably wouldn’t be as sophisticated as Emma 2020 is, but she wouldn’t be as modern, goofy and unladylike as Emma 2009 is either.

What I’m really trying to get at is the fact Emma 2009 fans accept the series’ own modernizations, narrative devices and changes, they accept those things as artistic licence and rationalize the writers exasperating some things, such as the ‘country girl’ interpretation and the more sentimental tone, to ‘convey something’ about the character and the story.. and yet, they can’t accept Emma 2020 doing the same, but in a different way that goes for an opposite direction that isn’t inherently less valid as an attempt to adapt and convey the book character and her story than the 2009 one. If there really was only one valid Emma, you couldn’t explain people who equally like both adaptations in spite of being so different. Clearly, those people must find in both Emma aspects that are authentic to them as a portrayal of the book character.

Like I pointed up before, the last movie exasperates the accurate costumes, the aesthetic and Emma’s apparent perfection (as well as her unlikable side) to convey the influence of her context and insecurities too, and ultimately let her humanity destroy that perfection to symbolize/emphasize her character growth all the more in the end. It’s an interpretation, one no less valid than what previous Emma adaptations, including the 2009 series, had. In the end, whether you prefer one over the other is just a matter of preference and how you also see the book character.

I always avoided discussions about adaptations for a reason, especially when I saw how bad it was in the Pride and Prejudice fandom where it seems like you aren’t even allowed to be an Austen fan if you like the 2005 movie. 

Before I watched 2020 Emma and saw fans of other adaptations non-stop hating on it both in the tags and even the gifsets,  making it a competition (when it really isn’t????), I honestly never felt the need to criticize the 2009 series or other Emma adaptations made before it for the aspects that didn’t really align with my own opinion/perception of things. I was aware that some fans of the Paltrow/Beckinsale versions hated Garai’s version back when the series came out, and I did read those negative comments (including the ones complaing that Jonny Lee Miller was too young for Mr Knightley, LOL the same argument now used against Johnny Flynn and it’s funny because they actually are the actors closer in age to the character). Ironically, a lot of emma 2009 fans are now using for the 2020 version some of the arguments that people used against their fav version too and that likely annoyed them at the time and made them defend the series. It’s like a circle where you always get back to the same point with different people doing the same thing to other fans. If there will be another adaptation of Emma after the 2020 one, probably some emma 2020 fans will turn themselves into that kind of fan too and annoy fans of the new adaptation with unnecessary drama.

[theluminoussunflower]

student evaluations

tw: mention of suicide, in the heat of the moment

the most dreaded time of the year, unless you're a genius like richie cameron

this is when parents would meet with their children's teachers and discuss the student's progress up until this point in the year

students would also get to see their parents during this time

of course, amelia, lacey, and richie saw their dad's everyday

lacey and richie liked seeing their mom

amelia... well—

todd didn't really like this time of the school year

most of his student's parents were snotty, just as his were

he didn't like saying his bad students were bad because he knew the ramifications of that

on the other hand, he would say his good students were good to the most hard-faced parents of all time

nothing was good enough for them

luckily, this year, he had a good group of students

(the lowest grade was a seventy-eight, but that's only because the student is rather forgetful

(todd knows that once she turns in her assignments, she'll easily get up to an eight-five))

and he knew a couple of the student's parents from when he was in school

namely knox overstreet and gerard pitts sr

and he had nothing but nice things to say about their boys

charlie came to todd's classroom on the first night of evaluations

"so, you're the student's teacher and you're her only parent... how do you have a conference?" he asks

"well, i know how well amelia is doing in my class, so... no need for an evaluation" todd says, standing from his desk "i was just about to come down to talk to you about her?"

"why"

"... because you have her as a student?"

"oh right"

there was nothing to worry about

amelia is a great student, high grade, great participation

"she doesn't mind telling people when they're wrong," charlie says

"typical"

"she really is great, you should be proud, mr anderson" charlie says, sticking his hand out, clearly trying to imitate a teacher they would have had

"i am, thanks," todd says, matching charlie by imitating how his father would have been and shaking his hand

"so..."

"so?"

"who was that in your shower the other night?"

todd caught a breath in his throat "charlie—"

"look, it's fine," charlie takes a seat on a student's desk "i'm not gonna tell anyone, no one would believe me anyway"

todd crosses his arms "that was my partner"

"partner?"

"boyfriend" todd barely says

he doesn't love the term boyfriend, now that he's in his late forties

sounds too juvenile

"mm, i didn't know you were dating"

"we've been together a while"

"amelia likes him?"

"yeah"

"good... well i have no complaints then"

"charlie—" todd heavily sighs

"cmon, todd, i'm just teasing you, what did you expect to happen when you showered with your boyfriend at the school you work at? by the way, incredibly not sexy"

"oh what would you have done? gone to the cave?"

charlie freezes, holding back that that's exactly what he would have done

"look, charlie, i know that you don't care, and frankly i don't think cameron would care, but there are people who work at this school, people who send their children to this school, and most importantly people who fund this school who wouldn't like if one of the teachers was dating a man, especially with the aids thing going on, so if for once you could keep your words to yourself, that'd be appreciated"

"jesus, todd, of course i'm not ratting you out, it's no one's business"

"good, cause it's not just him and i in danger, it's amelia too"

that shuts up charlie for a moment

"and i couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her..." todd says

"of course, your family's safe with me" charlie raises his right hand "dead poets honor"

it's awkward and quiet for a second before charlie's back on his bullshit again

"is he hot?"

todd laughs and rolls his eyes

"no, tell me, is he hot?"

"the hottest"

charlie laughs and cheers for todd

"will you get out? i have evaluations to do, and so do you"

anyway

stephanie's parents couldn't make it to evaluations

her dad, mr corporate, and her mom, puppy dog who's not allowed to make her own choices, had to see to a conference in montpeiler and wouldn't be back in time

sick

so, while all of her friends would be going out and spending time with their parents, she would be in her dorm... alone...

pittsie told her that mr overstreet invited him and his father to go out to dinner with him and evan

"i can tell him no, if you want"

"don't, go be with your dad"

she joked she would go hang out with mr dalton

amelia said that was the saddest thing she had ever heard

richie and lacey were going out with their mother, not with their father, who had to stay at school

(not that he would have gone anyway)

anyway, first night of evaluations went well!

after the second night, todd and amelia were going to go to a restaurant, and hopefully get through appetizers

amelia sat outside his classroom and waited

"did you survive?" she asks when he comes out of his classroom

todd chuckles "barely"

"do my teachers like me?"

"yes, they all sang their praises" todd wraps his arm around amelia's shoulders and pulls her closer "i'm very proud of you"

"uh-huh, whatever" but she likes hearing it "how were your friends"

"good, oddly formal"

"did they recognize you?"

todd thought back for a moment

knox did address me as mr anderson

just as they go around the corner, they find knox, evan, pitts sr, and pitts down the hall with none other than charles dalton

"todd anderson!!!" charlie yells

"oh good grief" todd says under his breath

todd and amelia meet up with the rest of the Dad Squad™

knox, mr lawyer, business suit, tall and slim, handsome, firmly shakes todd's hand

it takes knox a second to remember that amelia washed his car over the summer

"i don't trust anyone except amelia with my car"

evan, who had yet to get his learner's permit, knows that

pitts, survivor of the vietnam war, radio engineer, offers todd a half hug to stay balanced

he tells amelia that she looks just like her mother

amelia sees the contrast between knox and pitts sr

how knox deferred from the war and has a thriving career in nice suits and a nice car

and how pitts sr can barely stand anymore after supposedly fighting for his country

she doesn't blame mr pitts for going, he probably thought it was the right thing to do

but the way she saw it, young men went to vietnam to die

just like stephen meeks

and now mr pitts relies on his family to care for him and will never be comfortable again

it was just a little bit... funny

"why don't you two come out with us?" knox asks after some small talk

todd looks down at amelia, who looks up at him with eyes begging him to say no

"ah, no i'm sure your boys wouldn't want to go to dinner with their teacher"

"come on, toddy, you're a cool teacher" knox says

"we haven't seen you in ages" pitts reminds him, giving him big puppy eyes

"well—"

"i'll go change" amelia blurts "and we'll meet you out front"

ahaha that is not what i wanted to say

amelia spends her walk back to her dorm with her stomach in her throat

her hands clam up and she sweats despite it being fifty degrees outside

she gets back to her dorm, where stephanie sits at her desk typing up an essay at her typewriter

"how were your evals?" amelia asks looking in her closet

"my parents didn't come," stephanie says, voice hoarse

"why not?"

"busy"

amelia turns her attention to her friend "do you want to come out with us? i'm sure they can add an extra chair"

"i'm fine, thanks" stephanie speaks with force, as though someone's holding a gun to her head

"well, i don't want to leave you here alone"

stephanie whips around, amelia could finally see her eyes were red

"i'm not gonna kill myself, just go" she spat

amelia caught her breath

she stayed silent as she changed into trousers and a t-shirt and left the dorm without another word

great, how am i going to sit in front of my dad's friends and eat food after that?

she meets her dad in the front hall

now, todd's a good dad, a great one

he can always tell when something's off with his little girl

and as she walked down the steps from the girls' dorms, he could tell she was in an off-mood

"we don't have to go," he says "we don't even have to go out at this point"

"dad—"

"amelia..."

he pulled her in for a hug, stroking her head

"i don't want to push you, i know they're my friends, but they're strangers to you, they know a version of me that's been long gone"

"do you just not want me to hear embarrassing high school stories about you?" amelia says

todd chuckles and looks down at his beloved daughter

her perfect hazel eyes, round face, tight smile

"i think... um... i'll stay behind, but you go with your friends, catch up," amelia says

"are you sure? i don't have to"

"i'm sure, go" she walks to the steps and turns, just to see her stupid dad hadn't moved

"gooooo" she says, and she stands and waits for him to go out the door

"no amelia?" evan asks as todd approaches him and knox at knox's car

"nah, she's not feeling well" todd says lying

todd's still a terrible liar knox thinks

~

don't worry, more about this evening to come soon!

if you got this far, tell me your favorite part, and you get ten extra points today

taglist my beloveds thank u for ur support ily <3

(pls let me know if you want to be added or removed! you can reply or send me a dm if u prefer)

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[lottiebagley]

Cardigan- Cedric Diggory

Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones When you are young, they assume you know nothing

She would never forget the very first time she spoke to Cedric Diggory. She had been sorted into Gryffindor and he had been sorted into Hufflepuff, they'd seen each other around and even shared some classes but it was February of first year by the time they ever actually spoke.

She was best friends with George Weasley, she spent every waking moment with the twins, Angelina and Lee. The whole year knew of the little group and how inseparable they truly were, they'd gained the reputation of being funny pranksters and seemed to light up every room they went in.

To Cedric though, it hadn't been the group that lit up the rooms, it had been her. Her bright smile, her loud laughter. There was something about her that Cedric found impossible to ignore and he loved it. He was in an internal battle, on one hand he desperately wanted to speak to her, to know her, to be the reason she was laughing. On the other he was an 11 year old with a crush and was nervous.

He had decided automatically he was glad to talk to her though.

It was Saturday morning and he had been minding his own business, walking through the corridors to go and meet some friends after having been up to library to finish an essay and she had ran straight into him.

"Sorry, oh my merlin, I am so sorry," She speaks quickly, bending down to pick up the papers that she had knocked from her hands

"It's no bother," He smiles politely, his stomach full of butterflies when her hand brushes his. "I'm-"

"Cedric, sorry I'm not a creep I swear, we are in the same Charms class, you sit behind me" She cuts him off, he blushes brightly at her even acknowledging his existence.

"And Herbology," He smiles

"I'm-"

"Y/N, I know," it's her turn to blush and Cedric can feel his heart flip in his chest, she opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by loud footsteps sprinting towards them

"LET'S GO Y/N! FILCH IS COMING!" Cedric isn't sure which twin it is, but they grab her hand and continue running, the girl is quick to join in turning back to shout over her shoulder

"Sorry again Cedric!" she calls, he stands dumbstruck with a look of awe in his eyes as he listens to her laughter grow faint as she rounds the corner.

Sequin smile, black lipstick Sensual politics When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cedric doesn't work up the courage to speak to his crush again for a while. She simply isn't interested. At 11 years old she cared more for having fun with her friends, by 12 she's beginning to notice boys and sure enough she realises the Hufflepuff boy is cute but thinks nothing of it. At 13 she gets her first boyfriend, he's a Ravenclaw and her best friend hates him.

Cedric has his first kiss, he has girls that admit to fancying him and a few even catch his eye. None last though, because for every time he sees them he also sees her. Smiling and laughing with her friends and looking utterly ethereal.

It's when they're 14 that they next speak. It's their fourth year and Cedric is on his way back from quidditch practice when he hears a faint crying coming from an empty class room.  Being kind to his very core he doesn't think twice about poking his head round the door to see if whoever is in there is okay. It's only the second day of the school year and he expects to find a scared first year.

His heart breaks though at the sight of her. She's crying into her hands and sniffling loudly, seeming to not even notice someone come in.

"Hi," he speaks gently, not wanting to startle her. She look up immediately and the sight twists the knife in his chest. Her eyes are puffy and red rimmed, her makeup streaking on her cheeks. She immediately pulls her hands to her face, trying to wipe her tears away with her hands.

"Hi Cedric," she tries to smile but it comes out more like a grimace

"Can I sit?" He questions softly, she nods and he sinks onto the floor next to her, his back against the wall.

"Sorry, I look all gross and snotty," she sighs, he chuckles a little

"You're beautiful," not one part of him is lying or trying to make her feel better. He truly believed her to be the most beautiful thing on the entire planet. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offers

"I-you- we don't know each other I'm not going to make you sit through all my problems,"

"Hey, I offered," He assures, gently placing a hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze.

"You sure? it's a lot and-"

"I am certain,"

"My boyfriend, well I guess not anymore. He broke up with me because he started talking to Ella McKinley over summer and I really liked him and we've ben together for like seven months and I thought he liked me but obviously not and I can't even talk to my friends about it. Freddie and Lee would find the whole thing hysterical, not because they don't care, they just wouldn't get that it feels like I will never be good enough for anyone. Angelina is friends with Ella and I don't want to make things awkward for her. And Georgie, he's the best friend on the planet and he would do anything to make me happy but he was right the whole time and I can't bare the look of pity and he will just know that he was right but he won't say it because I am a pathetic, crying mess. Plus, Fred and George will go and try and fight him and everyone will talk about it and I just wish that I was enough cause I really liked him," She rants with tears streaming down her cheeks and Cedric wants nothing more than to take her pain and put in on himself a 1000 times before she ever has to feel it.

"Hey, you look at me," He prompts, gently moving her face from where she's staring at her lap to face him. "You are so much more than enough. You're beautiful, truly I mean that. And you are so funny and kind, I've never heard a soul speak badly of you, plus I'm in half your classes and you are at the top of all of them so clearly you are smart. Alex Mayfield is stupid for ever letting you go and I promise you he will regret it,"

She doesn't even think twice before diving into his chest to hug him, his heart warms in his chest as he holds her to him, stroking her back gently.

But I knew you Dancing in your Levi's Drunk under a streetlight, I

"Cedric?" Her voice sounds shy, three days later as she approaches his large friend group as they all laugh and chat in the courtyard. His friends all make loud 'oohs' at the girl approaching their friend, knowing he has had a crush on her forever.

He jumps to his feet immediately, only making his friends tease him more. "Hey, is everything alright?" He asks, it's been two days since he found her crying and he hadn't seen her around since.

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine. I just wanted to say thank you for the other day," She smiles gently and his heart melts that she had seeked him out rather than just saying it in whatever class they next saw each other.

"Oh of course, it was nothing," He smiles

"Well, i just, sorry that I cried all over you and- I- well it's embarrassing and you were so sweet so thanks," she blushes madly under his gaze

"It's fine, if ever I can do anything just let me know. Or if you need someone to talk to, I'm always around,"

"Thanks, and the same to you of course," She smiles and he nods. Neither of them can pull their eyes away from each other until Fred and George, who are waiting a small distance away let out loud barks of laughter at their friend's clear crush. "Right, well I should get going, have a good day," She smiles politely before turning around. He isn't quite sure what comes over him when he calls out to her

"Wait!" she turns immediately at his shout "You, uh, wouldn't want to be partners on that new Care of Magical Creatures assignment would you?" They had been assigned it on the first day, and it was a partnered essay and research task on Mooncalf's due in at the end of the month.

"Yeah I'd love that,"

"Great, I'll meet you in the library. Could you do tomorrow night right after classes finish?"

"Yeah, I'll see you there," She agrees, blushing slightly as she turns to walk back to the twins. Both Cedric and Emily's friends immediately begin to tease them but when she turns back to look at him and catches him already staring after her neither of them seem to care.

I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby kiss it better, right

'You know, now that we have completed this ridiculously long essay we should celebrate. Hogsmeade? this Saturday?'

He had asked so casually, like it was easy. When in reality it had taken him a week to build up the nerve. She nodded, acting like her heart wasn't hammering inside her chest.

But now, as he waits at a table in the three broomsticks, he feels more anxious than he can even explain. She walks in, smiling brightly when she sees him, sat at a table with two butterbeers, and she seems so calm it puts his jittery leg at ease.

"Hey Ced,"

"Hi darling," He grins, watching her slide into the booth seat opposite him

"Am I late? Fred forced me to go to Zonko's with him, swore it'd only be two minutes but it was a lot longer," she explains

"No, I was early is all," He smiles, pushing the drink lightly in her direction

"Thanks," She grins, planning in her head to buy the next round. "So, good day so far?"

"Made better by you," he returns, he'd expected to feel awkward and nervous but in reality something about her felt so right, so natural.

"Well of course, clearly I am the highlight of your day every time you see me," She teases lightly

"Well I'm the same for you,"

"You are," She confirms. He beams at her and her heart somersaults in her chest. "How have we only just become friends this year?" She ponders

"I don't know, it feels like I have known you forever," He smiles

"Yeah it does. I guess that's just how it is with some people,"

"You know what they call those people? Soulmates," He teases and smiles a little when her cheeks flush a bright red

"If you are my soulmate Diggory, I could do a lot worse,". It was true, she felt like he could so easily be that one person she was supposed to meet. He was natural, he was charming, he was funny, he made her feel so at ease. She never had to be someone else, never had to think for a second about what she said. Cedric just got her and it was the best thing she had ever experienced.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favourite

"Ced!" She's positively beaming as she stands on Hogsmeade platform after the Christmas holiday's. Pushing her way through the crowd towards the boy and leaping into his arms, he catches her with ease, rearranging his hands a little to hold her up better, her legs wrapping around his waist. His friends pay them no mind as they walk towards the carriages knowing they will see him at dinner and he would much rather have a minute alone with her.

"What're you doing here?" he chuckles

"I missed you," she shrugs

"I missed you too, but I could have just seen you at school, you didn't have to come and pick me up from the station," He smiles at her and she blushes a little. She had spent her holiday at school with the Weasley's as Molly and Arthur were in Bulgaria with Charlie and she hadn't wanted to miss out on her friends antics.

"Yeah, but if I had done that then I would have had to wait until after the welcome back feast and it would have been ages," She explains

"Well in that case, I'm glad you came. I really missed you darling," He smiles, gently placing her back onto the ground

"I missed you too, I was actually thinking a lot when you were gone-" she admits

"That's dangerous," he teases, laughing when she gently swats his arm

"I was thinking that I think I like you, as in more than a friend. No. I know, I like you as more than a friend and I have for a while now and I just wanted you to know that I do.  You don't have to like me back and if you don't then I don-"

She's cut off when he slams his lips against hers. Pulling her flush against him. He kisses her with so much passion and longing that she doesn't doubt for a second that he likes her just as much. He smirks when he pulls away and her lips chase his to press another quick peck to them.

"I like you too, I have for an embarrassingly long amount of time, I just didn't want to rush you after what happened with Alex,"

"You could never rush me, it's you," she smiles and he feels his heart leave his body and fall right into her hands.

"So, you wanna go on a real date?" he questions, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he begins to lead her towards the carriages back up to school.

"I would love that," She grins

"In that case, I will pick up tomorrow at 8," He announces, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as they walk.

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

"I have just had the most awkward interaction of my life," She announces, walking into his dorm to find him sat at his desk. She drops onto his bed as he turns to look at her

"Hi darling," He smiles

"Hey," she grins back, eyes unable to pull away from his

"None of this romantic gooey shit, what happened?" Cedric's best friend, Justin, questions from his own desk. The pair clearly having been doing work before she arrived.

"Right," she nods, pulling her eyes away from Cedric as she tugs her Gryffindor tie off her neck and settles more comfortably on his bed. "So, i'm walking with George, Fred and Lee out of detention,  planning on coming here and they were heading into town to pick up some supplies from Zonko's so we are walking, minding our own business and then out of literally no where Alex pops out,"

"As in your ex-boyfriend?" Justin question, fully immersed in her story. She glances at Cedric who's jaw is a little tight, but softens when their eyes meet.

"Yeah so he comes over and asks to talk to me, and you can imagine Lee and Fred think it's fucking hilarious and George looks ready to pummel the boy, which is nothing new he's always hated him,"

"Likes me," Cedric comments slightly cockily, he knew from the off that it was important George liked him.

"He does. So anyway, I'm like Sorry I am in a rush to meet my boyfriend, which only seems to make him want to speak to me more. So he's all like how long have you and Cedric been together and I'm like officially 2 months. And he asks like a million questions about us and then tries to invite me to Hogsmeade and I was like obviously not, at this point George hits him and then we just kinda ran away. It was just very uncomfy and awkward,"

Cedric looks like he is absolutely fuming, Justin on the other hand is laughing at the awkward situation. Cedric is, of course, glad that she immediately told him but was ready to hunt the stupid boy down and finish what George started. He stands up to do just that but stops when she grabs his hand and pulls him to sit next to her, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He sighs, his thumb stroking the back of her hand, knowing that she's asking him to leave it be.

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends

"Hey, do you guys know where y/n is?" Cedric questions Angelina and Lee when he sees them sat in the library

"Thought she was with you," Angelina shrugs, looking to Lee who looks equally surprised to see Cedric without his girlfriend wrapped in his arm

"She was, we were playing hide and seek but it's been like forty minutes and I can't find her,"

"She'll be in the broom cupboard next to Filch's office. She always hides there when we play," Lee comments

"Great, thanks," with a grin Cedric disappears out of the library and in the direction of Filch's office. He sends polite smiles and waves to friends he passes but doesn't stop for a chat, missing his girl's presence and wanting her back by his side.

He arrives at the cupboard, pulling the door open and stepping in. It was a deep cupboard filled with clutter and her giggle sounds through the air when he trips on a bucket, hand reaching out from the darkness to steady him.

He  reaches out and pulls her into his chest, arms wrapping around her and pulling her into him.

"Found you,"

"Took your precious time," she smirks,

"It's a big castle," He reminds, pressing his lips down onto hers, she kisses back immediately, arms looping around his neck as his grip her waist, tucking slightly under the jumper she's wearing that clearly belongs to him and is too big for her, his thumb stroking gently on the skin of her hips.

She pulls away, breathless and grinning up at him and if he had thought he was in love before he was certain of it now. When she looked so pure, so beautiful, so ethereal how could he not be? the truth was he had been falling for her since first year but his five months with her made it all the more real. He wasn't just in love with an idealistic version of her he had made up in his head, it was the real her. The her that only he knew.

"Which of my friends told you?"

"You underestimate my seeking skills," He feigns offence, and she laughs at his dramatics

"It was Angelina right? The boys would never help you cheat,"

"It was. Now, given I've found you I think I am entitled to a reward, winners choice," He smirks and she grins brightly

"At what might that be?"

"Cuddles," He announces

"We need to study," she counters

"Nope, not on a weekend. Cuddle me in my dorm please. You can't say no, I found you," He grins, he knows though, that she wouldn't say no anyway.

I, I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I

They lay under the stars in the astronomy tower Cedric was certain that this, this very moment, was the highlight of his life. When all was said and done she would be it. She would be what made it all worth it.

"You okay?" She asks, nudging her head into his chest gently as she lay on him

"I'm perfect. Are you?" he questions, looking down at her laid on her front between his legs, arms wrapped around his waist and head on his chest

"I am," she grins, moving her head to rest her chin on his chest and look up at him "you're quiet," she comments

"I'm thinking," He returns gently, eyes holding hers and arms wrapping around her, holding her tightly too him

"and here I was thinking you were just a pretty boy," she teases, he laughs and she would swear on anything that lit up by the moonlight Cedric Diggory was a god amongst men. "So pretty boy, what are you thinking about?"

"You," he grins

"Nothing new," she jokes, he rolls his eyes but says nothing, after all she isn't wrong.

"Do you think everyone gets to feel like this?" he questions, she tilts her head to the side silently asking him to explain what he means. "I just- it sounds crazy but this feels so much bigger than just love. Like I can't even describe, it doesn't even feel once in a lifetime it feels once in a million lives. I can't put into words how I feel for you, I more than love you, I so much more than love you,"

"I so much more than love you too," She smiles, leaning up to press her lips against his, he kisses back and it's so soft and so gentle yet somehow needy and passionate all at once. Every kiss they share felt amazing but they would both swear that was the best.  "And no, I don't think everyone gets this, I think we are incredibly lucky to have found each other,"

He smiles pulling her closer to him pressing a kiss to the top of her head and his heart has never been more full.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favourite

"So, tell me how your summer was?" She grins at him as they make their way down the train in search of her friend's compartment

"I was with you for most of it," He teases. They had spent the first two weeks at her house and then second two at his before she had gone to spend the final two at the burrow.

"I haven't seen you in 14 whole days Ced," she reminds

"My life is entirely boring without my favourite person," he smiles, chuckling at the blush that overtakes her cheeks. She presses a kiss to his cheek before pulling open the compartment door

"There they are, we were starting to think you were never coming," Angelina smiles, jumping up from her seat to pull her friend into a hug

"Sorry, we got caught up talking to Justin," The girl explains

"Ah, so that's what the kids are calling it," Fred jokes, laughing at the bright blush that over takes both of their faces. "Well, I was kidding but-"

"Shut up Fred!" She groans, dropping into a seat as Cedric settles down next to her, talking happily with George about their summer breaks.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleeding

Their fifth year passes insanely quickly. It's full of laughter and happiness. They don't have drama like most of their friends in relationships, they understand each other on such a level that truly there's no need to argue because no matter what the other does they understand. Understand exactly why the other has behaved in the way that they had so there was no point in getting mad.

From trips to Hogsmeade, parties, studying and evenings in the prefects bathroom they saw each other every day. Adopting each other's friends as their own. All they needed was each other and they were having a good time. They were connected at their very cores and the whole school seemed to know it.

"Okay, never have I ever lost my virginity in the prefects bathroom," Angelina smirks, the Gryffindor friends are sat around the boys dorms with bottles of fire whiskey on the final evening of term, joined as was common now, by Cedric and Justin.

Cedric sits next to her, his hand resting on her thigh and her head on his shoulder as they both blush a little before drinking.

"You told me it was in your dorm cause you were classy!" Lee exclaims, pointing at her with wide eyes.

"If you believed she was classy it's on you Lee," Fred teases, laughing loudly when she launches a pillow across the room and it hit's him with ease.

"Never have I ever said I love you just to get laid," Justin states, smirking when both Fred and Lee take sips of the drinks.

"Mum will be disappointed," George teases

"Would be, will makes it sound like you plan on telling her,"

"I'll have it up my sleeve for if I need to redirect the rath on someone else,"

"Hey, we always put it on Ron," Fred whines, the rest of the group laughing as they didn't doubt for a second that was true.

"Never have I ever skinny dipped in the black lake," George grins, the group erupting in laughter when Fred drinks

"Okay 1 it was a dare and 2 you aren't allowed to target people, in this game"

"Oh, because never have I ever accidentally grabbed the wrong person's hand wasn't targeted," George quips back.

'Cause I knew you Stepping on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I

"I just think that you're being stupid," she admits, she is sat cross legged on his bed as he paces his dorm

"This is something I really want to do, it means a lot to me. The money could really help my family out and I really think this is something I could excel in," Cedric explains, he isn't mad. He knew  that she was only concerned because she cared and therefore he would never be mad at her for it, he also knew she loved and supported him unconditionally and that wether she agrees with him or not that wouldn't waver.

"It's reckless Ced, people die in this tournament and I just hate the idea of you doing this cause all your friends have told you how cool it'll be and something happens to you,"

"Hey, nothing will happen to me. I'm not stupid and I know my own limits, you can pull out of any round at any time and if I think I can't do it I won't stay in a dangerous situation," he assures her, sitting down next to her and taking her hands in his.

"I know, I just want you safe,"

"Darling, you don't have to worry for a second. I promised you forever and I am going to give you it," he assures her, pulling her hands to his mouth and pressing kisses on her knuckles.

"Okay. If it means a lot to you then obviously I support you, just promise me you aren't going anywhere,"

"I promise," He agrees.

And so, with his friends behind them and wrapped up in his arms, his promise of forever fresh in her mind she goes with him to drop his name into the goblet of fire, pushing away the feeling in her gut that this was the worst mistake they'd ever make.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

Cedric feels his breath stop when he sees her. She looks like an angel, standing at the top of the stairs beaming down at him. The pale blue satin of her dress pooling delicately around her feet and her hair curled and pinned back.

"You look so beautiful," he smiles as she reaches for his arm at the bottom of the stairs

"So do you," She smiles, and she meant it, in his black dress robes she wonders how she's supposed to breathe when he looks so good. "Ced?"

"Yes, darling?" he looks down at her as they stand in the line with the other victors. His smile so pure and delicate and a look of adoration in his eyes, not one person looking at them would question the love he held for her.

"These heels are really high, please don't let me trip and fall and make an idiot of myself,"

"I've got you darling, I promise," he smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as the doors swing open and along with the rest of the victors and their dates they parade to the dance floor.

And he did have her. They danced and he made sure she was okay the whole time. They danced the whole night, wether the song was fast or slow, they were attached in someway and staring at each other so purely and utterly in love. It was the best night of either of their lives and although they didn't say it, both of them thought as they slow danced about the day they would get to do this at their wedding.

I, I knew you Leaving like a father Running like water, I When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cedric is panting and red from the cold water as he collapses onto the platform, having pushed her onto it first. He feels for the first time since he saw her floating lifeless at the bottom of the lake that he can breathe again as he sees her appear fine.

He blocks out the screaming crowds, his victory although exciting, nowhere near as important to him as the girl.

She however, seems utterly over the moon, pouncing on him and tackling him on the pier in the tightest hug he'd ever received.

"You did it Ced! You won!" She grins brightly, he's vaguely aware of the twins wrapping them both in towels but doesn't care. Nothing else in the world matters as he grabs her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers and the whole world floats away, and it's just her and him.

She pulls away eventually, seemingly remembering the crowd's of people watching, he doesn't care though, wrapping his arm around her as his friend's push through the crowds to congratulate him. He doesn't let go of his grip on her for even a second, he wanted her to be a part of this, without her he could never have won, seeing her lifeless and floating had triggered something in him he didn't even know existed. He'd have done whatever it took to save her.

but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young

The day of the last trial she woke up with a gut feeling something bad was going to happen. She said nothing though, not wanting to panic Cedric.

She woke up wrapped in his arms and she almost asked him to stay in bed for just five more minutes. Just to hold her for a little while longer, looking back she would always regret not asking for that. Instead, she had sat wrapped in his duvet, watching as he got ready and listening patiently as he spoke, muttering every spell he could think of in a mindless preparation, no idea what he would actually need when he started.

She sat next to him at breakfast, holding his hand under the table in an attempt to calm him down, he was trying to act confident for his excited friends but she saw right through it. She only left his side for a brief moment all morning, to wish Harry Potter, a young boy she knew well due to her close relationship with the Weasley's, good luck.

"You should go and meet your dad to walk to the victor's area," she speaks softly, they're in an empty corridor, wanting a moment of privacy.

"You'll be down there?" he questions

"Of course I will," she assures. He nods, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers wrap around his neck. He nestles his face in her as her fingers comb gently through his hair.

"I'm scared," he whispers

"I know," she replies gently, pulling away only enough to look him in the eyes "Whatever happens, wether you come first or drop out after a minute, I am so beyond proud of you Ced,"

"Thankyou," He hums gently

"You be safe alright, you promised me forever,"

"I never break my promises," he assures her, his lips find hers in a final passionate kiss.

"I so much more than love you," she whispers against him

"I so much more than love you," he returns, pressing a quick peck to her lips, squeezing her tight one last time before letting go.

She sits next to George, her leg bouncing and hands shaking as she leans on his shoulder. She watches as he talks to his dad. It feels like the world is going in slow motion as he stands outside the entrance to the maze, eyes scanning the crowd until they fall on her. She can see from a mile away that he seems to ease slightly at the sight of her, sending her a smile before turning and entering the maze.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light

She knew she would never forget the moment it happened. The pure joy and adrenaline, the excitement because he had won. Cedric had won. Followed by the panic, because he isn't moving and why isn't he moving? why is Harry crying and-

The world stopped. Right there. Right then. The world stops spinning on it's axis.

She would never forget the feeling of George's hands pulling her back and into his chest, refusing to let her turn and see it. See his limp body on the ground and lifeless. She'd never forget the sound of Amos's cries. She would never forget Harry's screams.

Her very world stopped.

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak.

George Weasley would never forget the moment either. The ache in his chest that his friend had died. The sound of her sobs, so guttural and heart wrenching that they take over her whole body.  The feeling of his best friend shaking in his arms and the pained scream that leaves her mouth.

She was vaguely aware of the feeling of George lifting her off the ground and carrying her away from the crowds. Vaguely aware of him placing her on her bed. Without thinking she moved to grab one of Cedric's jumpers from her wardrobe, crying even harder when his smell takes over her as she pulls it on, dropping to her knees unable to even stand. George drops down next to her, pulling her into his chest in a tight hug as she cries into his chest.

And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

George Weasley had felt his heart drop when he had read the letter from his old head of house, a desperate plea to come to the school immediately and he had dropped everything to do just that.

His best friend was never the same after Cedric. Not even 10 years after at the age of 27. He wasn't who he used to be either, he had lost his second half. But he worried more for her. Her smile hadn't met her eyes since she was 17. He hadn't heard her laugh since she was 17.

Despite it all she never spoke to George, to anyone, about it. She left a room when he was mentioned. She refused to open up. It was clear even now he was the only thing she thought about. She refused though, to talk about him.

She hadn't dated again until she was 25, settling for a quiet boy who didn't get the chance to fall in love with her, because truly she wasn't her. She was numb, a shadow of herself and he didn't even know it.

As George pushed open the door to the prefects bathroom, he knew it would be another moment he would never forget. Like her scream, his Fred's body on the ground, like Angelina telling him we would be a father.

She was sat, fully clothed, in the large bubble bath. Silent tears streamed down her face and George could only describe the look on her face as numb.

"He proposed," She announces. George doesn't know how to react. He knew she would never fall in love again, that in reality she would never want this. Because it wasn't him.

"What did you say?"

"No," She whispers out, George lets out a sigh, he doesn't think twice as he climbs into the water next to her, ignoring that it's ruining his suit as he pulls her into him.

"George, I can't do this. He promised me forever, it was supposed to be him," She's crying into his shoulder and George knows nothing he says will take the pain away. "He was the love of my life. I didn't just love him, it was more than that. It wasn't once in a lifetime it was different it was special it was-" she cuts herself off, not knowing the words to describe it. She had never needed them before, Cedric had known without her having to say.

"I know. We all know. Everyone could see it,"

"I know what people must think. He was my high school boyfriend and I should move on but Georgie- I can't. It was him and it is him and he promised he would come back,"

"No one thinks that. You were young but the heavens know you were in love,"

"He was everything. He still is. He always will be,"

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favourite

**

Masterlist

[veliseraptor]

Hi! Can you give a brief spoilery summary of the Untamed? I just read [the pretties from your posts] died? Oh no. I tried getting information through google but it’s confusing for someone who doesn’t know the characters.

oh lord. there are all kinds of ‘brief summaries of the Untamed’ out there but I’ve always found them vaguely irritating so...I guess that means it’s time for my comeuppance in the form of having to do it myself? I’ll do my best.

I didn’t know how detailed you wanted me to get so I decided to get pretty detailed, since you did ask for spoilery. so this is like. entirely spoilers. spoilers for everything.

also, you can use, if it’s helpful, my brief character overview (‘brief’) which includes some plot information, and could be useful as cross reference also. I’m playing pretty fast and loose with a lot of terminology for the sake of intelligibility, because otherwise this would get even longer and have a lot more links.

also, because you asked me specifically for this, it’s going to have some bias. I tried to keep my interpretive commentary to a relative minimum? but. uh. yeah.

the briefest basic plot overview is (going off The Untamed canon, which you will also see abbreviated as CQL from the pinyin transliteration of the Chinese title (Chen Qing Ling)):

Wei Wuxian, a cultivation (think, loosely, magic) prodigy and creator of his own particular style of cultivation, dies reviled by most of the known world. Sixteen years later he’s raised from the dead by Mo Xuanyu, an outcast and the bastard son of one of the leaders of the main sects of the cultivation world, in order to take revenge on Mo Xuanyu’s enemies (specifically his abusive family and ~an unknown person~).

And here is where we get into the details.

Pretty much immediately upon Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, people start dying at Mo Manor, before Wei Wuxian has even done anything, because of (it turns out) a very angry spirit of a semi-sentient weapon. Wei Wuxian books it out of town after his old best friend/crush Lan Wangji shows up to help the Lan ducklings he’s shepherding (including most notably Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, the only named characters of that bunch), only to wind up running into him again on the road - and not only him, but his orphaned nephew (shorthand, go with it) Jin Ling (Wei Wuxian was responsible for his parents’ deaths) and Jiang Cheng, his martial brother who (at least according to rumor) killed him sixteen years ago and still bears a hell of a grudge. In order to save Jin Ling, Wei Wuxian summons the “Ghost General” Wen Ning, who was supposed to be destroyed and whose presence confirms his identity to a very pissed off Jiang Cheng. Lan Wangji recognizes Wei Wuxian as well. Wei Wuxian passes out.

followed any of that? no? that’s fine, because now we’re heading into a thirty episode flashback that’ll clarify some things. (but not before you forget a whole bunch of things from the first two episodes.)

I’m going to split this into arcs. I’m also going to put this under a read more, because...yeah, this came out to just a little over 10,500 words. I’m...sorry.

have fun?

Cloud Recesses Summer School Arc

The time card says “sixteen years earlier” but it isn’t sixteen years earlier because that would make no sense, but it’s better to give up on timeline now or you’ll just drive yourself nuts.

This is the part of the show where you meet the main characters, some of whom you saw earlier (notably Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian’s younger sort-of brother), and some of whom you only know from reference (Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian’s older sort-of sister) and some of whom are significantly important (Lan Wangji). You also meet Jin Zixuan, the snotty heir to the Jin Sect, who will be important later. Jiang Yanli is clearly into him and he seems to very much not return the feelings.

At this point, there are five main sects that the characters belong to. They are (with the characters you’ve met from them so far: the Jiang Sect (Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli), the Nie Sect (Nie Huaisang, a flighty and sort of feckless fellow), the Jin Sect (Jin Zixuan, his social skills translator Mianmian), the Lan Sect (Lan Wangji, his brother Lan Xichen) as well as the Wen Sect (more on them in a moment). Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet and immediately...something. Wei Wuxian wants to make friends, and Lan Wangji seems to emphatically Not.

You also meet Meng Yao, who is Nie Huaisang’s brother Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, and also the bastard son of Jin Guangshan (the leader of Jin Sect). He is also the son of (using the words of literally everyone) a prostitute, which people remind him of at every possible moment, in case he was in danger of forgetting, or something. He and Lan Xichen have kind of a moment. 

Later on, members of the Wen Sect, led by Wen Chao storm in, posturing disrespectfully, and drop off Wen Qing to “learn” (but secretly she has a mission looking for the Yin Iron/Metal). The Wen are ascendant in power and seem to be flexing their muscle looking for trouble. 

Wen Qing comes as a set with her brother Wen Ning - the pair of them are from sort of...a secondary branch of the main Wen family, and she’s being coerced into supporting Wen Ruohan despite being not thrilled about it. Wei Wuxian bonds with Wen Qing’s younger brother Wen Ning, who has a weird situation that makes him vulnerable to possession (this is important later).

At one point Wei Wuxian proposes - in response to a question! He’s just being innovative! - to put it simply, necromancy, which is, to say the least, not a hit. Remember that for later!

Eventually, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up falling by accident into some ice caves, where they learn from one of Lan Wangji’s ancestors (Lan Yi, she’s cool) about the Yin Iron, of which she has a piece. It is an spiritually corrupted metal that can’t be destroyed so it was broken into pieces and hidden in different places. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji resolve jointly to find the other pieces.

Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli, and Jiang Cheng (henceforth “the Yunmeng siblings”) are picked up early by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) because Wei Wuxian causes problems both on purpose and not. Wei Wuxian, however, puts together that Lan Wangji is going off on his own chasing the Yin Iron, and ditches the rest of his family to go help.

Yin Iron Hunt Arc

Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji, who is not thrilled to see him (at least, apparently). They run into Nie Huaisang, who joins them. They come to a town where everyone seems to have vanished and there is nothing fishy going on in the cave with the statue that looks like a dancing lady at all. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng leaves home to go track down Wei Wuxian and bring him back.

The statue comes to life, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji fight together to defeat it, and then a bunch of...undead villagers (sort of, they get better) attack them, only to be lured away by Wen Qing playing a flute (this ability will never be brought up again). Jiang Cheng reveals himself as having been hanging out watching this go down. Ultimately, by killing the Stygian Pigeon that belongs to Wen Chao, the villagers are freed and they move on.

After a brief stopover in a village, they hear some rumors about a haunted house and take off to go check it out. When they get there, everyone is dead and Xue Yang is on the roof just kind of vibing. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan manage to get him pinned down and taken captive. This is important and not just because I said so.

Nie Huaisang, who Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji ditched in town, arrives here with Meng Yao, who proposes bringing Xue Yang to Nie Mingjue for justice purposes (which when I write it like that sounds...um. moving right along), which is where everyone heads next, less Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan who have their own things to do. Wei Wuxian realizes that Xiao Xingchen had the same master as his mother, and gets really excited about it; it’s adorable.

They go to Nie Mingjue, who is talked out of executing Xue Yang because they’re trying to find out where he put the Yin Iron (which they figure he has, because reasons. there are reasons, I just don’t feel like going into it.) Lan Wangji leaves in the night without saying goodbye, and then Wen Chao arrives. He is accompanied by Wen Zhuliu, who is called the Core-Melting Hand for reasons that will be important later. There’s a fight, Xue Yang gets loose, and Nie Mingjue finds Meng Yao in a very compromising position (killing a captain of the guard and among a bunch of other dead bodies). He kicks Meng Yao out of the Nie Sect.

Meanwhile, the Wens attack Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen’s uncle makes him leave to preserve himself and the most important texts. Everyone retreats to a cave that’s hidden and walled off; Su She (who was introduced briefly earlier) caves to threats to his life and tells the Wens how to get into the Lan’s cave sanctuary. Lan Wangji returns with Lan Yi’s Yin Iron and gives it and himself up to Wen Chao’s older brother Wen Xu to spare everyone else.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian leave for home (Lotus Pier). We witness family dynamics, which are terrible. The Wens want everyone to send their kids, specifically their heirs, to be reeducated in Wen territory, but they’re not hostages, we swear. No, really.

Reeducation Camp Arc

To reeducation camp with the Wens we go! Where Lan Wangji is not looking so hot, and Wei Wuxian rapidly causes problems on purpose to try to get to talk to him, but mostly just ends up getting himself tossed in a dungeon where he gets attacked by a very bad puppet of a dog. Wen Qing has told Wen Ning not to associate with Wei Wuxian because they’re on thin ice with their boss (Wen Ruohan), but Wen Ning sneaks him some medicine against Wen Qing’s orders anyway.

They go on a hunt, with the non-Wens featuring as bait. Here is where you meet Wen Chao’s main squeeze Wang Lingjiao, who was formerly a servant. Everyone ends up in a cave that contains a creature whose name is unfortunately translated as “Tortoise of Slaughter.” we’ll go with “Xuanwu of Slaughter” instead, it feels better. Wen Chao and his accompanying entourage make a run for it and ditch everyone else in the cave; they manage to sneak out but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji end up trapped with no way out. They team up and kill the Xuanwu, partially because Wei Wuxian acquires a very cursed sword. Afterward, he is feverish and asks Lan Wangji to sing - enter Wuji! their theme. You see Lan Wangji mouth that it is called “Wangxian” before Wei Wuxian passes out. (Yes, he did name his composition after their ship name. Aww.)

I’ve skated through that very fast but it is important because it’s like...the point where they seriously bond in a major way and it’s all very...like, there was only one bed only they’re trapped in a cave and injured and forced to rely on each other. So not actually really like that.

Wei Wuxian comes around outside of the cave with Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan, who brought help to rescue him and Lan Wangji; Lan Wangji, however, is gone.

Oh Shit Things Went Downhill Fast Arc

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian go back to Lotus Pier, where Wei Wuxian is in big trouble with Jiang Cheng’s mother (Yu Ziyuan, seen later emotionally terrorizing all her children), who already doesn’t like him and accuses him of bringing trouble down on them by defying the Wens. Jiang Cheng’s dad is terrible, Wei Wuxian reaffirms that he and Jiang Cheng will be Together Forever, you, the viewer, know that is absolutely not how that’s going to go.

Word comes that the Wen have attacked one of the smaller sects, and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) goes with Jiang Yanli to talk to Jin Guangshan about how to deal with the Wens.

Then Wang Lingjiao arrives with word that they’re gonna be in big trouble if they don’t punish Wei Wuxian right now. Yu Ziyuan uses her lightning whip to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian, but Wang Lingjiao wants her to cut off his hand. Then she makes the mistake of saying that they’ll be making Lotus Pier a supervisory office of the Wens, thank you.

Yu Ziyuan reacts...poorly, Wang Lingjiao calls on her backup Wen Zhuliu (and everyone else); seeing the writing on the wall Yu Ziyuan grabs Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, puts them on a boat, and sends them away, bequeathing her sick-ass lightning whip (Zidian) to Jiang Cheng. They run into Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli; Jiang Fengmian adds Jiang Yanli to the boat full of crying children and goes to sail back to Lotus Pier.

Lotus Pier falls, everybody dies, Jiang Cheng goes semi-catatonic and then disappears, having been captured by the Wens after going back for his parents’ bodies. (Which is more important than it probably sounds, from a Western perspective.) Wei Wuxian follows him and finds Wen Ning, who smuggles Jiang Cheng out and takes him, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli to Wen Qing for safekeeping.

Jiang Cheng wakes up; his golden core (the...thing that lets him do superpowered things, let’s go with that) was destroyed by Wen Zhuliu. Melted, if you will. And it’s not the kind of thing you can just, you know, fix. He descends into absolute despair as Wei Wuxian looks frantically for a way to fix it - and finds one! Though Wen Qing is not happy about it, she still agrees.

at this point we see the return of an old friend! Song Lan, who has a bloody bandage over his eyes, but has eyes that work, despite the fact that he was blinded by Xue Yang who also killed his entire temple. He explains that Xiao Xingchen said that he was taking Song Lan to his master Baoshan Sanren, the immortal who can cure anything, and doesn’t remember anything else.

Wei Wuxian takes Jiang Cheng to Baoshan Sanren to get his core back. Psych! It’s a lie that he totally made up to explain the fact that he’s actually getting his own core transplanted into Jiang Cheng in a highly experimental procedure. Importantly, Wei Wuxian does not tell Jiang Cheng this.

Post-surgery, rather battered Wei Wuxian gets caught by Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao, who torture him and then throw him into a place called the Burial Mounds, which is more or less what it sounds like, is Very Cursed, and from which no one has emerged alive. Then this happens:

(I want you to appreciate how hard I’ve tried to not put any screencaps in here. but I had to do this one. I just had to.)

and you go oh shit and also well that’s sexy.

Jiang Cheng, delighted to have his core back, descends the mountain only to find that Wei Wuxian is...not there.

Cool! That seems fine.

Sunshot Campaign Arc

Timeskip to three months later! The rest of the sects have allied together to take down the Wen Sect (this is what ‘Sunshot Campaign’ refers to, because the symbol of the Wens is a sun). Things aren’t looking good for the Wens, including Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. Wang Lingjiao hallucinates to the sound of a flute and ends up killing herself. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have teamed up to look for Wei Wuxian. On their way, they start finding piles of Wen bodies killed in a mysterious and grotesque manner involving an unfamiliar method of cultivation.

(Side note: around now is where Jiang Cheng frees Wen Qing from where she was imprisoned by the Wens for being a dirty traitor during the war and gives her the comb of pining he bought way back in the Cloud Recesses arc, telling her that he will help her if she asks. This isn’t...exactly important, except I wanted to note it.)

Eventually, they find a house where Wen Chao has holed up with Wen Zhuliu, and watch as it’s revealed that he has gone through some nasty shit, is terrified and traumatized and badly injured. Ominous signs: begin to happen! Flames going out: happen! Shots of someone climbing slowly and menacingly up stairs: happen! 

Yeah, it’s Wei Wuxian. New and improved, darker and meaner and very sexy about it, and with a new sick-ass flute. He starts attacking Wen Chao, and when Wen Zhuliu moves to attack Wei Wuxian Jiang Cheng jumps down and hangs Wen Zhuliu with Zidian. Lan Wangji confronts Wei Wuxian about this darker and meaner version and Wei Wuxian breaks up with him; Lan Wangji leaves Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian to kill Wen Chao because the family that murders together stays together!

(They won’t, but.)

The war goes on, but the tides have turned, and the Wens are losing. Both of Wen Ruohan’s sons are dead. Soup drama happens here, which I don’t need to explain fully but it is clear that Wei Wuxian is extremely emotionally unstable, and also will no longer carry his sword despite everyone telling him he needs to carry his sword. All is not well with the Wei Wuxian! But nobody knows why. Lan Wangji’s repeated “LET ME FIX YOU” overtures are not well received. Lan Wangji also has a nice conversation about how the Lan rules did not prepare him for moral complexity.

Eventually Nie Mingjue proposes going to attack Wen Ruohan on his own while the others move on the Wen stronghold at Nightless City (at this point, they have received a map of Wen defenses from a ~mysterious spy~). Nie Mingjue is captured, and it is revealed that Meng Yao decided that after getting kicked out of Qinghe he could find a better boss somewhere else. Outside, an undead army shows up to kick everyone else’s ass. Things don’t look good for our heroes!

Wei Wuxian brings out his secret weapon the Yin Tiger Seal and...takes over the undead army. This is very troubling to everyone involved, but it does bring Wen Ruohan out to see what the deal is. Wei Wuxian delivers one of the sickest lines in the entire show:

(i’m restraining myself! trust me! i am!)

so yeah, that’s a normal and reassuring thing to say.

And then Meng Yao stabs Wen Ruohan in the back. And that’s it for Wen Ruohan! Our major antagonist is dead! Surely everything will be fine now.

Well We Won the War, Now What Arc

[cracks knuckles] and here’s where the politics starts.

Ready and totally psyched to step into the power vacuum left by the fall of the Wens is Jin Guangshan! Leader of the Jin Sect, least impacted by the war by vitue of joining up late. He recognizes Meng Yao as his son now that he’s, like, someone that is valuable to him politically, and Meng Yao gets a commensurate name change > Jin Guangyao. Pretty much immediately Jin Guangshan starts manuevering to consolidate power - pushing to marry Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, pushing to get access to Wei Wuxian’s Yin Tiger Seal, subtly undermining everyone else...the works.

Jin Guangshan is the worst, is what I’m saying here.

Meanwhile, Nie Mingjue is very unhappy about the whole “Meng Yao helping the Wens and fucking with him when he’s captured” thing, but then Lan Xichen (remember, Lan Wangji’s older brother) steps in and reveals that Jin Guangyao was a spy delivering information, actually, and also saved his life when he was on the run from the Wens, so don’t hurt him please. Nie Mingjue is still very suspicious, but he backs off. Subsequently, after agreeing to place the Wen (civilian) captives in a holding camp, Jin Guangyao has them killed (impliedly at the order of his father).

We are given cues that Jin Guangyao is bad news. Like, heavy cues. If you are me this makes you love him.

This is also where Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin Guangyao become sworn brothers, which is a big deal.

Meanwhile, back in Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian is...not doing so hot! He’s drinking heavily, shirking his responsibilities in a way that is making Jiang Cheng particularly very upset with him, generally being weird and traumatized but nobody knows how to deal with that, or him. Then Jin Zixuan arrives to invite everyone to a special hunt being hosted by his father including Jiang Yanli because he, he means his mom, really wants her to be there.

The hunt goes great! By that I mean Jin Zixuan is a spectacular failure at expressing his feelings to Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian almost starts a fight with Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan’s enormous asshole cousin gets nasty until Jiang Yanli makes him apologize, in a seriously badass moment. The whole thing comes off with Wei Wuxian really not looking good, including his decision to ditch the celebratory banquet. But also Jiang Yanli getting a liiiiittle closer to something she wants (i.e. Jin Zixuan). Jiang Cheng is like “dude what the fuck” at Wei Wuxian and gets zero percent explanation. Meanwhile everyone in the vicinity pokes at his massive insecurities, because the cultivation world’s favorite activity is actually gossip.

Things only get worse at the very bad after party. This is where we meet Su She again, who has gone and founded his own sect! Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are sort of bitchy about it. But the real issue comes when Zixun peer pressures Lan Xichen into drinking despite the fact that it’s pretty solidly against the rules of the Lan Sect. Lan Xichen does it with a very “fuck you” smile, despite Jin Guangyao’s attempts to forestall the situation.

(I feel like I have not expressed the relationship between Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen? It’s a whole thing. Let’s just say that it’s a fairly popular ship for a reason.)

Lan Wangji, however, is not as diplomatic as his brother.

And then Wei Wuxian arrives! To ruin another party. Because he found Wen Qing wandering around in the streets and turns out that Wen Ning was taken prisoner by Jin Zixun and friends and removed to whereabouts unknown. Wei Wuxian proceeds to give the sexiest countdown ever to annihilating Jin Zixun if he doesn’t tell him where Wen Ning is.

Wen Ning, unfortunately, is in a pile of bodies. Because the Jin have been...well, experimenting on Wen prisoners, basically. Wen Ning is...not dead in this universe because censorship, but everything makes more sense if you just say “he’s basically dead and Wei Wuxian resurrects him to fuck up everyone in the vicinity who was responsible for his death, which is...everyone other than the other Wens. Eventually Wei Wuxian stops him by yelling his second (courtesy) name that no one else has used for him in speech up to this point (Wen Qionglin), because love is stored in the name. Wei Wuxian gathers up the survivors and takes off only to run into Lan Wangji standing in his way.

They have a point of no return moment. Wei Wuxian basically says “let me go or you have to kill me” only it’s better than that because what he actually says is like “if I’m going to be killed I should be killed by you, then I would know it was right” and it’s a whole fucking thing and anyway Lan Wangji steps aside and lets them all go and it is quite literally “I’m not crying, it’s just raining on my face” except he is also crying.

So...fuck.

Burial Mounds Arc

Wei Wuxian takes the Wens to the one place nobody’s probably going to follow them: namely, the Burial Mounds. Home sweet home!

Outside in the main world, rumors are flying about the army Wei Wuxian is building and the sect he’s planning to found and how ambitious he is and how he’s disrespecting Jiang Cheng and actually Jiang Cheng he probably never loved you anyway and is better and stronger and what are you good for, but I’m saying this out of concern and to be helpful (paraphrased from Jin Guangshan).

Accordingly, Jiang Cheng agrees to go and check things out and see what’s going on in Chez Burial Mounds. What is going on is basically a bunch of civilians eking out a very depressing living. There is also a child, a-Yuan, who is adorable. This will also be important later.

(are you keeping track of all this?)

Jiang Cheng also goes to see Wen Ning, who is...recovering from being dead/undead and Wei Wuxian is working on fixing him. Jiang Cheng says he has to die, and Wei Wuxian has to come home, and things are really bad, man, so stop worrying about these losers and avoid the entire cultivation world being really pissed with you, maybe?

Wei Wuxian isn’t going for it, and tells Jiang Cheng to cut him out of Jiang Sect in order to protect Jiang Sect’s reputation. It’s upsetting. They stage a very dramatic duel and Jiang Cheng announces that friendship ended with Wei Wuxian, he has no new friend actually.

This is also where Wen Qing significantly returns the comb of pining that Jiang Cheng gave her way back (remember that?) and is like. so you wouldn’t’ve helped me and Wen Ning actually, would you. And that is the end of Chengqing as a sidebar ship that never really sailed. Well done, you two.

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan gets his shit together and proposes to Jiang Yanli by way of making her a lotus pond at Jinlintai. So that’s nice!

A bit later Lan Wangji comes to visit! Only it’s totally coincidental, he was just passing through, that’s all. He and Wei Wuxian hang out for a little while, pretending things are sort of normal, but they have to rush back to the Burial Mounds because the Wen Ning is out. They manage to get him under control and awaken him to proper consciousness again, though! Great! Things are looking up. :)

Lan Wangji does not stay for dinner, though. :(

In my notes I have written “meanwhile...political shitshow” and that is basically a summation of what’s up in places that aren’t the Burial Mounds. Specifically, Jin Guangshan, who seems to have deputized Jin Guangyao to do his dirty work generally, is making noises about how something needs to be done about that Wei Wuxian, and what about that Yin Tiger Seal anyway, doesn’t it seem Yin Iron-like, shouldn’t something like that not be in the hands of a random person? Probably it should be in someone else’s hands instead. Someone responsible with no ulterior motives. You know.

Also in here...somewhere, Mianmian tries to stand up for Wei Wuxian being maybe right about some things, gets shouted down, and decides to leave the Jin Sect entirely. Like...just walks out. Several people look at her like ‘you can do that?’, Lan Wangji is jealous, it is a total boss move. Mianmian hasn’t been a major character but this is important enough and cool enough that I had to mention it.

Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng come to Yiling (by the Burial Mounds) for a very secret rendezvous where Wei Wuxian gets to see Jiang Yanli’s beautiful wedding dress and eat some of her famous soup and it is very sweet and nice and Jiang Cheng is like “so do you have a plan for if everyone attacks you” and Wei Wuxian is like “absolutely. I will kill everyone is my plan.”

also possibly Jiang Yanli is already pregnant at this point??? she and Jiang Cheng are certainly exchanging a lot of conspiratorial smiles when she tells Wei Wuxian to give her future son a courtesy name.

She is for sure pregnant later, because there is a baby named Jin Ling who shows up! (Remember that name? No? He was the bratty teenager from episode 2.)  Jin Guangshan does not allow Jin Guangyao to hold the baby, for which he deserves what he gets. For Jin Ling’s 100 day/three month (again! timelines, fuck em) celebration, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Lan Wangji tag team to get Wei Wuxian invited, where he will come and it will be nice and everyone will discuss this Yin Tiger Seal issue like civilized people.

An invitation is sent for Wei Wuxian to come to the celebration! Wonderful! This is in no way going to go horribly wrong.

Oh Shit, Things Went Downhill Fast (Take Two) Arc

It goes horribly wrong.

On the way to Jinlintai to greet his new baby nephew, accompanied by Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian is confronted by - surprise! - Jin Zixun, accusing Wei Wuxian of putting a curse on him. Wei Wuxian denies it, naturally, since he didn’t. Jin Zixun decides the best way to deal with this situation is to kill Wei Wuxian, which will definitely break the curse that Wei Wuxian definitely cast on him.

He attacks, and Wen Ning goes Ghost General on everyone’s ass, and Wei Wuxian brings out his flute. Things are looking pretty hairy when Jin Zixuan shows up to call off the fight, trying to get Wei Wuxian to back down; he does not back down, because that would just mean getting shot full of arrows.

Wen Ning, who seems to have completely lost his mind, fists Jin Zixuan. Through the chest. This does, in fact, kill him.

His dying words are to say that Jiang Yanli is still waiting for Wei Wuxian to show up, just to make everything worse. Wen Ning kills Jin Zixun as well. This is not actually what Wei Wuxian wanted to happen.

Back at the Burial Mounds! In the wake of Jin Zixuan’s death, an ultimatum has been issued to give up the Wen siblings or else. This is pretty clearly (in my opinion) a pretext that doesn’t mean anything, but Wen Qing and Wen Ning have already decided to sacrifice themselves. Maybe they’re hoping it’ll work? Or at least that it’ll give Wei Wuxian some time? Wen Qing knocks Wei Wuxian out so he can’t stop them. The whole thing is really fucking heartbreaking.

Wei Wuxian comes around and goes to Jinlintai, where he sees Jiang Yanli, who is mourning her dead husband who got killed by her baby brother! Cool! She sees Wei Wuxian but he runs before she can say anything, partly because guards have been sicced on him. He is pretty clearly having a mental breakdown, hallucinations and all!

Cut to a gathering of...pretty much everyone important and all their followers at Nightless City, for a combination commemorating the dead/affirming the deaths of Wen Ning and Wen Qing/gearing up to kill Wei Wuxian.

Who spares them the effort of coming to find him by showing up on the roof! He proceeds to sic dark magic on everyone there except, conspicuously, for the Jiang Sect. Lan Wangji arrives to defuse the situation and fails to defuse the situation until Wei Wuxian hears Jiang Yanli calling for him.

Because she’s arrived on an active battlefield! Not her best idea but it’s not like I can actually blame her considering the week she’s having.

Wei Wuxian goes to look for her, as does Jiang Cheng who also heard her, and...suddenly loses control of his dark magic. Cool! One of the...undead? people there wounds Jiang Yanli. Even better! Jiang Cheng pleads with Wei Wuxian to get things under control, which he can’t! They have a moment while a lot of people around them are dying but you know what, they deserve it.

because like literally a second later Jiang Yanli pushes Wei Wuxian out of the way of a sword meant to stab him in the back and instead takes it herself. And dies.

So. Yeah.

Wei Wuxian loses the last threads of his sanity and destroys the Yin Tiger Seal. While everybody is fighting over it, he goes over to the edge of a cliff, and now we’re back here where we started! With Lan Wangji clinging to Wei Wuxian’s hand as he dangles over the edge of a cliff and tells him to let go.

Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation, by which I mean “he tells Wei Wuxian to go die and stabs down.” He only hits rock; Wei Wuxian breaks himself loose of Lan Wangji’s grip and falls. You are left on the image of Lan Wangji’s absolutely devastated face.

nice! great. well, that brings us up to speed for the flashforward to the future, where you have probably completely forgotten what happened in the first two episodes.

For instance: remember how we saw Wen Ning despite the fact that he’s supposed to be ashes? Yeah.

And We’re Back in the Present Now Arc (Good Times in Qinghe Arc)

For some reason this is the part of the show where I remember the least and it all kind of blurs together with the exception of one scene? so I had to go look at Wikipedia episode summaries to make sure I was putting things in the right order.

Back in the present at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji discover that the very angry sword spirit last seen killing people at Mo Manor (remember that?) is pointing them in the direction of Qinghe (the Nie Sect territory). They leave to go there and run into Jin Ling, who semi-accidentally terrorizes Wei Wuxian by way of dog. 

By asking around, they also learn that there are rumors of a man-eating fortress in the woods, and that it hasn’t been dealt with because the leader of the Nie Sect is absolutely useless. The leader of the Nie Sect who is now - hey, been a while! - Nie Huaisang, since his older brother disappeared under mysterious circumstances after losing his mind years ago.

The dynamic duo go off to investigate the man-eating fortress, naturally, and what they find is a tomb full of swords and a wall full of skeletons, and also Jin Ling. 

They remove Jin Ling from the wall, Lan Wangji goes chasing a mysterious attacker, and Wei Wuxian takes Jin Ling to safety only to end up running into - oh boy! - Jiang Cheng. 

They have a calm talk about their feelings and address their dysfunction in a reasonable manner. 

Nope! Jiang Cheng corners Wei Wuxian with Jin Ling’s dog, throws a cup of tea at a wall, and yells at Wei Wuxian about how he both didn’t come home right away and also how he should die ten million times (no, like, actually). Fortunately, Jin Ling arrives, lies out his ass about how he saw Wen Ning to get Jiang Cheng to leave, and lets Wei Wuxian go. 

Back to that mysterious figure Lan Wangji went running after! Turns out it was none other than Nie Huaisang, who confesses - reluctantly - that the man-eating fortress belongs to his family and is a safe home for bloodthirsty swords after their owners die, which is a normal thing to get as a family heirloom. This is also where it becomes increasingly clear that (a) the sword spirit is Baxia, Nie Mingjue’s sword, and (b) Nie Mingjue is most likely hella dead, specifically murdered. 

With this new information, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian move on, tracking the directions of the angry sword spirit. They overhear some very depressing story about Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen, and Xue Yang, specifically how things turned out horribly for them (though without details), which drives Lan Wangji to drink.

Lan Wangji cannot hold his liquor, at all. Wei Wuxian takes his unconsciousness as an opportunity to flute Wen Ning to him again, and removes a massive metal needle from his skull, which fixes the whole “unconscious zombie” issue. Unfortunately, Wen Ning remembers nothing about what happened to him between going to Jinlintai with Wen Qing and when he heard Wei Wuxian calling by way of flute.

And now we have Drunkji, who is the most adorable, hilarious thing ever. He gives Wei Wuxian chickens, with utmost sincerity. They are wedding chickens. It is very important that Wei Wuxian have these chickens.

This interlude is not important to the plot but it is hilarious. There is also a not hilarious interlude of Lan Wangji being very sad about how he didn’t help Wei Wuxian before, and also admitting that he likes rabbits. Again: not plot important. It is adorable. 

Wei Wuxian herds Drunkji back to the inn, where a mysterious masked man attempts to steal the pouch holding the angry sword spirit, but is driven off and teleports away. Remember this guy! He’s important.

The next morning, they set off and hit the road for a place called Yi City, which if you’ve spent any time on this blog you know is deeply important in my heart if not, like, in terms of show space.

Yi City Arc Yi City Arc Yi City Arc

yes this is three episodes but this is my summary post so I get to give it its own section if I want to.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji arrive at Yi City, which is empty, and very spooky. They run into the pack of juniors (Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, sassmaster Lan Jingyi and consummate romantic Ouyang Zizhen are the named ones), and shortly thereafter into a whole bunch of undead. They also run into a ghost (???) girl who is blind and has no tongue. They also also run into Xiao Xingchen, severely wounded.

Psych! It’s Xue Yang in disguise and he has an undead Song Lan under his control. what a fun twist this is! and he wants one thing specifically: for Wei Wuxian to help him bring someone back to life. Problem is that their soul is in need of some serious super glue and super glue doesn’t work on souls.

Xue Yang informs Wei Wuxian that his consent is optional and he will be participating in Xue Yang’s necromancy experiment fantasies whether he likes it or not. Lan Wangji objects strenuously to this idea. While Lan Wangji is fighting Xue Yang and Wen Ning is fighting Song Lan (corpse fight! corpse fight!) Wei Wuxian herds the juniors into a safe courtyard where the corpses won’t go, led by the aforementioned ghost girl, who shows them a coffin.

the coffin has Xiao Xingchen in it. The actual real one. There’s a bandage over his eyes, because he doesn’t have any.

Wei Wuxian goes into the ghost girl’s memories in order to find out what happened using a technique called Empathy, and the next chunk of things I’m just going to tell in full chronologically even though there’s a break where you don’t see all of it until an episode later.

The ghost girl, a-Qing, is a con artist who pretends to be blind; she runs into Xiao Xingchen (who is actually blind) when she steals his money, and he just gives it to her after stopping someone else whose money she stole from beating him up. A-Qing decides they’re friends now. They’ve been traveling together for...some amount of time when they stumble on a badly injured man on the side of the road. Xiao Xingchen picks him up and takes him home with him (to an abandoned coffin house in Yi City). You get one guess who he’s rescued and who is totally psyched to discover that his life has been saved by Xiao Xingchen, who doesn’t know who he is, because he’s blind.

So you know, everything is coming up Xue Yang.

What follows is three years of domestic bliss, including hits like “entire villages dying by Xiao Xingchen under sort of suspicious circumstances” and “threatening grocers.” And then who should show up but Song Lan! Looking for Xiao Xingchen and he’s so happy to have finally found him.

Only he notices Xue Yang first.

A fight ensues, in which Xue Yang...sort of talks Song Lan to death by digging into the fact that Xiao Xingchen is blind because he gave his eyes to Song Lan, actually, and Song Lan hurt him so bad when they broke up, and because Xiao Xingchen is blind Xue Yang has been able to trick him into killing living people when he thinks he’s killing undead ones, and oooh do you feel bad now, well, guess what, you’re gonna feel worse when I poison you into becoming undead and cut out your tongue. :D

And even worse when this means that Xiao Xingchen stabs him because, you know, undead monster.

Cool! Things are going great.

Or they would be only a-Qing saw everything, reveals it to Xiao Xingchen, who puts it together and greets XueYang coming back from grocery shopping with a sword (rude). They break up, and by “break up” I mean “Xue Yang reveals his tragic backstory, Xiao Xingchen is not convinced that his tragic backstory means all the murder was justified, Xue Yang decides it’s time to make this all go nuclear.” So tells Xiao Xingchen about how he’s been killing people actually! And guess what, bonus, one of those people was your BFF/life partner/whatever, Song Lan. isn’t that amazing, Xiao Xingchen, isn’t that so cool--

Xiao Xingchen kills himself and this is, it turns out, Not What Xue Yang Wanted. So guess who’s in the pouch Xue Yang was hoping to resurrect? Yeah.

Back in the present, with help from a-Qing directing Lan Wangji, Xue Yang gets...hella stabbed, but not before he kills a-Qing. Song Lan, freed from Xue Yang’s control, kills Xue Yang.

Oh yeah, and then we see Xiao Xingchen tenderly laying pieces of candy on a bed, which is symbolically important, and also Xue Yang dies looking at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, and now I’m going to cry. anyway Yi City Arc, you’re welcome. Where the only person who survives did not, in fact, survive!

Oh, yeah, I guess it’s also important that there’s a headless body buried here and it gets...pretty conclusively identified as Nie Mingjue because the sword spirit (remember that?) takes the shape of his very distinctive large sword (Baxia). Also Xue Yang recreated the Yin Tiger Seal but it gets snatched away by the masked man from earlier. There’s also a bunch of stuff about the Yin Iron plot but you can ignore it, it doesn’t actually really matter that much.

Honestly at that point I was crying too much to pay a whole lot of attention to the whole point of them being in Yi City to begin with. So sue me.

The Plot Thickens, and Secrets Are Revealed Arc

Exeunt Yi City, rendezvous with Lan Xichen to discuss, obliquely, who could be responsible for Nie Mingjue’s death. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji delicately imply that maybe it was Jin Guangyao; Lan Xichen is unconvinced and informs us that there are no curse marks indicating that he’d teleported on Jin Guangyao’s body, he would know, and also they’ve been together every night so he wouldn’t have time to get up to shenanigans anyway.

Hm.

Still, they go ahead together to ruin another party/investigate at Jinlintai, with Wei Wuxian safely in disguise (barely), unfortunately as Mo Xuanyu, who is not exactly welcome in the Jin Sect because he got kicked out of it earlier. Mo Xuanyu is a whole...thing that I’m not really going into here because the show doesn’t really get into it either.

Wei Wuxian ducks out to investigate, and in the form of an animated paper man, to the tune of music we have never heard before in this show and will never hear again (look, it’s just weird to me), goes sneaking into Jin Guangyao’s rooms to do some poking around. His investigations are interrupted when Jin Guangyao’s wife Qin Su, in a state of severe distress, returns, followed shortly by Jin Guangyao. They argue about an unknown revelation in a letter Qin Su received that has resulted in her being disgusted by...something, we don’t know what, and angry with Jin Guangyao. She accuses him of killing their kid.

Eventually he paralyzes her and removes her to a secret room through a mirror, which is a thing everyone has, especially one with a bunch of torture instruments and a body sized table with dried blood on it. Normal!

Remember how the body in Yi City was headless? Yeah, we found the head now.

And it’s time for another Empathy flashback! 

Empathy Flashback feat. Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao’s Bad Relationship Mini Arc

This time with Nie Mingjue (and Jin Guangyao). We see Jin Guangyao very quickly elevated from a servant who is spat upon by the other Nie cultivators to Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, like, literally in two seconds. Flash forward to episode 10 - remember that? - where Jin Guangyao has just been caught in a compromising murder position. Nie Mingjue accuses Jin Guangyao plotting all along and is a conniving little snake who was in league with Xue Yang (which is a thing that does not make sense, actually), and kicks him out.

We next see Nie Mingjue in Nightless City, having been captured and currently being taunted by a very sexy Meng Yao, who kills some other Nie cultivators and threatens to fuck up Nie Mingjue by shattering his sword (which would be catastrophic and is, we are informed, how Nie Mingjue’s dad died). Nie Mingjue is understandably rather displeased by this to the point of probable murder, though Lan Xichen reminds him (as he did in the previous scene) that Meng Yao was acting as a spy and Meng Yao argues that he needed to play his part.

The relationship between the two of them continues to deteriorate as Nie Mingjue becomes more unstable (something that just happens to the Nies by virtue of their cultivation style). That deterioration is being delayed by healing music from Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen teaches Jin Guangyao the healing music. Jin Guangyao seems to be possibly doing something not healing with the healing music.

This all escalates into a confrontation at the top of the stairs of Jinlintai, where Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao argue about class politics and justifiable violence (no, really) until Nie Mingjue explodes and kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs. 

And then proceeds to, as Jin Guangyao looks on, have a qi deviation, which is...well, let’s just call it both a physical and a mental breakdown. Nie Huaisang arrives to see this happening, and while we saw this before and it looked like Nie Mingjue was threatening Nie Huaisang because he didn’t recognize him, this time it is more apparent that he’s directing it at Jin Guangyao.

Next we see, Nie Mingjue is chained to that body sized table in the secret room. Xue Yang is there, and uses Nie Mingjue’s sword to behead Nie Mingjue. He’s psyched as hell about it. If you’re me this is adorable.

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Arc

Flashback ends! And we are back in Jinlintai. Wei Wuxian goes to get Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen to storm Jin Guangyao’s bedroom, to which Su She objects, but Jin Guangyao eventually allows. They all file together into the secret room and look around, but there is no longer any severed head where Wei Wuxian left it. Whoops. 

Then Qin Su kills herself, Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation while Jin Guangyao pleads innocent, and Wei Wuxian, by way of drawing his sword that nobody else could draw before now, reveals that he is, in fact, Wei Wuxian. Everyone in this room actually already knew this information except for Jin Ling, who is not thrilled to discover that his cool uncle is the guy who murdered his parents. Nobody else does a very good job of faking surprise.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian make a run for it only to be cornered on the stairs. Extreme romance ensues where Lan Wangji announces his intent to stand by Wei Wuxian forever against the world. 

This is where the “I was like, SCREAMS” meme kicks in.

Anyway, after that love confession (look, they can’t say ‘I love you’ but basically) in front of everyone, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian fight their way out together and are well on the way to freedom when Jin Ling stabs Wei Wuxian. 

Nobody is happy about this, including Jin Ling.

Wei Wuxian is okay overall, though he does faint and have to get swept off to the Cloud Recesses and undressed and redressed in Lan Wangji’s underwear. Don’t worry about it. And now it’s time to talk to Lan Xichen, who is currently feeling very “what the hell is going on, you have no proof and are accusing a person I trust completely of something horrible without any proof.” 

They still don’t have any proof, but Wei Wuxian reveals that in the flashback he heard Jin Guangyao playing the soothing music but different, and it comes out that there is evil Japanese music that can kill people and be used to poison someone slowly over time. It’s literally this post:

Lan Xichen is not entirely convinced but agrees to investigate; Jin Guangyao comes to Cloud Recesses and has an absolutely heartbreaking conversation with Lan Xichen about how is our friendship over, Zewu--jun :( while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji eavesdrop.

That conversation isn’t plot important either, I just personally find it very upsetting.

The Burial Mounds, Take Two Arc

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji leave the Cloud Recesses, heading toward the Burial Mounds because Jin Guangyao mentioned something being up there. But they end up meeting - surprise! - Mianmian, who is living her best life. This is mostly important because she is literally the only female character who makes it out of this show alive. 

She mentions that there’s been some trouble around the Burial Mounds, so they head in that direction, running into Wen Ning along the way, who has been following them around because he loves Wei Wuxian. The Burial Mounds are indeed full of active undead and they fight their way up to the old farming commune location, which is less empty than expected because there are a bunch of kids tied up in Wei Wuxian’s old lair/cave/house. Like, all of them. Including Jin Ling, who really is having a terrible time lately, and I just feel the need to note that sometimes.

As they free the children and start to leave, everyone else arrives with the plan of killing Wei Wuxian again, because once wasn’t enough and obviously he’s Up To No Good, where else would these corpses be coming from, huh? 

Speaking of corpses. 

A small army of them shows up! All the cultivators who aren’t children lose their powers! Everyone has to retreat back into the lair/cave/house where they’ll be safe! So this is all...going well.

Fortunately, everyone being stuck in one place gives Wei Wuxian the opportunity to get his Hercule Poirot on and walk everyone through a series of deductions to get them to a place of realizing that (a) they were poisoned by evil music, (b) the evil music came from Su She, (c) Su She is working for Jin Guangyao who (d) planned all of this whole ‘everyone is going to the Burial Mounds to get killed’ thing.

Su She panics, inadvertently reveals that he alone still has his powers, and teleports out. Wei Wuxian decides that a reasonable solution to all these problems is to make himself bait for all the undead so everyone else can make a run for it, because Wei Wuxian is kind of like that. 

It’s okay, though, he and Lan Wangji make a spectacular battle couple.

(Oh, yeah. Throughout here it is becoming increasingly clear that Lan Sizhui’s identity is Significant and actually we Might Have Seen Him Before.)

Back to Lotus Pier Arc, or Jin Ling Has a Very Bad Day, Continued Arc

Safely out of the Burial Mounds thanks to Wei Wuxian, everybody goes ahead and invites themselves back to Jiang Cheng’s house. To be fair, it is closest. 

My notes here say “Wen Ning figures out that Lan Sizhui is a-Yuan, Jin Ling has an emotional breakdown” which is a more or less accurate summation of the situation. Honestly, though, I feel so bad for Jin Ling at this point, he’s had an absolute nightmare of a month and then today happened and like. I feel for him.

But Wen Ning reuniting with the last remaining member of his family! Though he doesn’t...actally tell Lan Sizhui this, and Lan Sizhui doesn’t have any memories of his early years. 

Jiang Cheng reluctantly allows Wei Wuxian inside. Wen Ning has to stay on the porch, but Lan Sizhui stays with him to keep him company, because he is a good boy.

This next part...hoo boy. It’s a lot of exposition featuring two ladies who appear to relate their stories about Jin Guangyao, featuring the part where he murdered his father by using a bunch of sex workers (who then were murdered in turn, except for one), also involving necrophilia, and the one where Qin Su was Jin Guangyao’s sister, actually, and he knew it and still married her. Sect Leader Bad Takes says that’s probably why Jin Guangyao killed their kid, because children of incest inevitably have developmental problems? Yeah, sure, buddy.

Anyway, everyone starts shouting for Jin Guangyao’s head, which is very familiar to Wei Wuxian, who leaves in some disgust. While wandering with Lan Wangji, they wind up going to the family shrine (which is, to be clear, a pretty sacred place). Which is where Jiang Cheng finds them! And once again they have a reasonable and emotionally steady conversation.

Nope. Jiang Cheng talks shit trying to provoke a fight that Wei Wuxian won’t have. As he and Lan Wangji attempt to leave, Jiang Cheng pursues because he’s not done yelling dammit, lashing out with Zidian. Wei Wuxian faints, and Wen Ning arrives to stand in between him and Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, holding Wei Wuxian’s sheathed sword (remember, the one nobody other than Wei Wuxian can draw). Wen Ning proceeds to initiate one of the single best devastating beatdowns of the show without laying a hand on Jiang Cheng, specifically by shoving the sword at Jiang Cheng and telling him to draw it, because hey you can do that now! Wonder why that is? Wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on there, Jiang Wanyin?

Remember way back when Jiang Cheng lost his core and got it back because Wei Wuxian gave him his core? Yeah, this is when he finds out about that. Psych! Your brother loves you and also the only reason you got to be as strong as you are is because he sacrificed himself for you! Which is also the reason why he took up demonic cultivation in the first place! 

Seriously, it’s so good, I love this scene. Probably one of my favorites in the whole show.

Jiang Cheng runs away; Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a moment on a lake where Lan Wangji indulges Wei Wuxian by eating stolen lotuses with him. It’s sweeter than it sounds when I put it like that.

Guanyin Temple Arc

oh god, how do I. how do I describe Guanyin Temple. partially this is hard because by virtue of censorship about dead bodies, among probably other things, there are huge gaps that make portions of it make no sense so I’m gonna go ahead and...fill in some of those that are intelligible pretty much only with some knowledge of book plot, imo.

Wen Ning, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to a place called Yunping because Jin Guangyao bought some land there for some reason. There they find a slightly suspicious temple (Guanyin Temple). They come back at night, leaving Wen Ning to stand guard, and spy on the courtyard, where a bunch of conspicuously armed monks are there, along with Lan Xichen aaaaand...Jin Guangyao. 

Jin Ling arrives! And decides it’s a good idea to climb over the wall. Wei Wuxian blocks someone from shooting him by using the bamboo flute he’s been using this whole time, so he now functionally has no weapon, and also he and Lan Wangji have been exposed, so now the two of them and also Jin Ling are in the courtyard. Lan Xichen admits he was tricked and doesn’t have any of his powers. Jin Guangyao threatens Lan Wangji into sealing his by threatening Wei Wuxian with a wire. It’s sexy.

Everybody goes inside the temple, where several monks are digging up something ??? under the floor. This is never explained and that is because it is supposed to be Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body, and there are very strict rules I understand about what can be done with dead bodies in dramas like this one. Anyway, Jin Guangyao loved his mom very much and built a temple where she was buried where the statue has her face. He is exhuming her so he can take her body with him when he flees the country, which is what he was planning here. Of course, now he has a bunch of unwanted hostages (and one wanted hostage), which was not actually part of the plan.

The next person to join the party is an unconscious Nie Huaisang, brought in by Su She, who basically says “I have no idea what he was doing here but...here he is” and Jin Guangyao is like. Well, guess he’s here now. 

Next to show up is Jiang Cheng! Making an excellent and extremely dramatic entrance. Unfortunately, he still gets injured and taken down as Jin Guangyao starts poking at his very obvious emotional weak spots, including revealing that Jiang Cheng knows about the golden core thing. Wei Wuxian, who did not know that secret came out because he was unconscious at the time, goes “wait, what?” and thus ensues the epic emotional catharsis crying and yelling conversation I was waiting for for 47 episodes. Seriously, it’s really good. They end up in a place where all is not solved but things are...maybe a little better? 

Of course, they’re still hostages. 

Meanwhile, back at the dig site, something gets unearthed that is not Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body but is in fact a coffin with Nie Mingjue’s body, now complete with head, in it. The reveal also drops here that Su She has the marks that indicate he cast the curse on Jin Zixun that Jin Zixun accused Wei Wuxian of casting.

A very ugly argument ensues where everyone is poking at everyone else’s things that they’re sensitive about, until finally Lan Xichen recovers his powers and turns the tables on Jin Guangyao by putting a sword to his neck. 

The next part is basically...explaining how all the bad things that happened were Jin Guangyao’s fault? Or at least that’s the explanation given. I find it personally very frustrating as a narrative choice and sort of unnecessary, but maybe that’s just me. Anyway, Jin Guangyao is pleading for mercy from Lan Xichen, saying he’ll leave and never return, the whole thing is very emotional. 

We also find out that Jin Guangshan kicked Jin Guangyao down the stairs. People really need to stop doing that.

And now Wen Ning arrives! Punting Lan Sizhui in ahead of him. He is possessed by a very angry sword spirit (namely, Baxia). Lan Wangji cuts off Jin Guangyao’s right arm, because Lan Wangji likes doing that, apparently. Baxia-possessed Wen Ning then targets Jin Ling because Jin Ling has Jin Guangyao’s blood on him - only for Wen Ning to stop the blade with his bare hand and save Jin Ling’s life, because Wen Ning is both a badass and very good. 

Jiang Cheng throws Wei Wuxian his old flute, which he apparently has just been keeping under his bed or something for sixteen years, which is a thing that I will always never be over, and Wei Wuxian flutes the very angry sword into the Nie Mingjue-holding coffin.

Which would be fine, only then Nie Huaisang starts yelling about how Su She totally stabbed him, no, really, look, he’s bleeding. Baxia kills Su She. Then Wei Wuxian manages to put the sword back in the coffin, as well as the Yin Tiger Seal, and locks both away.

Whew.

Everybody’s sitting down and recovering a little as Lan Xichen tends Jin Guangyao’s wounds. He turns around to get medicine from Nie Huaisang, who tells him to look out because Jin Guangyao is attacking you!!! 

Lan Xichen runs Jin Guangyao through. 

Oh boy.

Jin Guangyao is a little impressed about Nie Huaisang having been plotting this all along. Because he was. He absolutely was. He’s absolutely been planning this for years. Everybody needs a hobby.

But it’s Lan Xichen who he really addresses here, telling him that he’d never hurt him. The actual line really hurts but I’m trying to not reproduce lines here, except I am going to say that he drags Lan Xichen - still with a sword through him! - deeper into the temple and says “stay and die with me” as the temple starts to collapse. Lan Xichen, who was about to strike and presumably push himself away, lowers his hand, and Jin Guangyao abruptly pushes him away and out of the collapsing building.

Romance!

(No, but seriously, it’s a lot.)

Thus ends Jin Guangyao. 

Outside in the courtyard, everyone’s taking a breather. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian stare longingly at each other across the room and say nothing. Jiang Cheng walks away and we learn that - surprise! - the reason Jiang Cheng was caught by the Wens way back when is because he was keeping the Wens from catching Wei Wuxian instead.

Everybody in this family in just a big circle of self sacrifice. In the words of Wen Qing:

(Who misses Wen Qing? I do!)

Anyway, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leave with each other, only to be caught on the road by Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning - Lan Sizhui, who has remembered that he was a-Yuan and finally someone tells Wei Wuxian this, and ahhhh, okay, I know what I said about limiting screencaps but I can’t not:

Now that’s what I call a hug!

They part ways again, Lan Sizhui leaving with Wen Ning for some family time and for Wen Ning to find his own way. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian...seem like they’re going in different directions, but then they’re at Cloud Recesses together, playing music, hanging out, vibing. They talk to Nie Huaisang, but don’t directly confront him about his scheming. Mostly just making sure he’s not, you know, gonna do anything else.

Then Wei Wuxian leaves to go on a roadtrip to find himself. People really do not like this, but I personally really do like this, especially because the last shots of the show are Wei Wuxian playing his and Lan Wangji’s theme song (the one that Lan Wangji wrote, remember, from the cave? It’s come up a lot, I just haven’t mentioned it here), and when he finishes Lan Wangji’s voice says “Wei Ying” and he turns around and just like. Smiles. It’s scrunchy and happy and perfect.

Like this:

aaaaaaand scene! fifty episodes later your life has been ruined and you will never be the same.

and the thing is that this is leaving out, like. a lot, and probably is biased because I focus on different things than another person would, &c &c, but at least it might be a starting point for...the entire plot.

and also congratulations if you made it this far, I am impressed. have a screenshot of wei wuxian as a reward, whose mental breakdown does make him look sexy

you’re welcome.