#not too long ago I read my old Discord messages and said that he has a pleasant voice

[cerise-on-top]

Can I request Rudy (maybe AleRudy poly??? You decide lolz) x a female ( you can choose not to write this as I know you write mostly gender neutral) reader who proves The Whole toxic masculinity thing wrong as a strong (physically and mentally) independent woman? Like she is strong and can defend herself and she does things that most men thinks she can’t do? (Like carrying heavy things, etc.)

Thank you!!

Hello! This is more Rodolfo centric, which I hope you don't mind! But Alejandro is there too, of course :>

AleRudy with a Strong!Independent!Fem!S/O

Alejandro would have a field day with you, Rodolfo would still be a little bit concerned. Though, that is not to say he wouldn’t like it. I think you’d be a certain kind of awakening for him, especially if you’re pretty muscular too. Rodolfo would have never thought he’d find a muscular woman this hot, but here we are. Both Alejandro and Rodolfo would sometimes have conversations about you when you’re at work. Alejandro would know just how capable you are and would allow you to do just about anything, even if he would offer you his help. Nothing wrong with helping your lovely girlfriend lift some heavy things as it gets done a bit faster that way. Rodolfo wouldn’t believe you to be weak, not in the slightest. Especially not with your kind of personality and body, but he’d still insist on him doing some of the things at first, such as carrying heavy things or scaring away some sleazebags. He’ll tell you a little bit about how he views the world, how he’s supposed to be the one protecting you, but when you just laugh and tell him that you can handle yourself, he actually gets kind of embarrassed. At some point he’ll realize that yes, indeed you can handle yourself in just about any situation life throws at you, but that doesn’t mean he won’t voice his concerns. Picking him up is actually kind of fun, he’ll go completely quiet and hold onto your shoulders for dear life. At first he’d feel kind of bad, he’s the one who’s supposed to pick you up. But, as mentioned previously, you being this strong actually does things to him. It would take a while, but he’d come to trust you more and more with some things that he thought women shouldn’t really be doing. If you work a men dominated job too, then Rodolfo will just shut up, actually. You’re a mechanic? He doesn’t know jack shit about cars. You’re an IT-technician? Computers hate this man, he always needs help since some error comes up. Once the initial embarrassment is over, he won’t hesitate to come to you for help. It’s for the best you work on this since he has no clue what he’s doing in those fields anyway.

Alejandro is super chill with you being strong and independent. Sure, sometimes he’d love to just watch a scary movie with you and have you cling to him in fear, but you carrying those big tires is also pretty nice. He always thought he’d be more into a shy and timid girl, but you’re actually pretty nice too. He wouldn’t fuss over you as much as Rodolfo, he’d just let you do your thing. If you need help, he’ll help, but he won’t be overbearing. Besides, he could probably learn a lot of things from you. You’re an electrician? Awesome, amor! The GFCI just turned off again, could you do something about it? He’ll sometimes talk to Rodolfo about how he should put more trust into you. Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t be a total badass and strong like them. Alejandro will also egg you on to pick Rodolfo up since he wants to see him flustered beyond comparison. He loves you both, but there’s just something so fun about a flustered Rodolfo.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬

Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 3] Reunion

← Previous Chapter - Story Masterlist - Next Chapter →

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

You’re shaken up when you get off the elevator and you’re not sure what to do. You have to contact his mother, but you’re sure that he’s speaking to her right this second. A million thoughts run through your head, but first you have to speak with your new boss about the fact that your son is joining you for the day; or at least until you get in contact with the nanny that can pick him up from here.

You aren’t quite sure where to go from here though. So many people are walking around and they all seem so busy, and you don’t want to bother them. You’re not sure what’s come over you right this second because bothering people has never been one of your worries. Your breath is caught up in your chest, and you wish you could be invisible. Even from the young boy that holds your hand and looks around.

You feel out of place. You’re out of place. You hear your name, and your eyes wander to find the feminine voice that said it. And when you finally see her, this wave of relief washes over you, although it doesn’t last too long.

“Shoko?” You look at the woman that puts her hand on your arm, seeing that you’re shaken up. She stares at you for a moment before her eyes go down and she sees a carbon copy of Satoru– Only that this one can’t be older than five. She can’t wrap her head around this.

“Come to my office.” She says, and you slowly nod in response before you follow behind her. When you’re in the office, your eyes fall on the giant windows that display a great view of the city. Ren's eyes do the same, and he walks over to the windows, putting his tiny hands on them. When she shuts the door she says, “So are you the woman that Mrs. Gojo hired?”

Your brain seems to have slowed down, and it takes a moment before you respond, “I am.”

But that’s not what Shoko wants to talk about. She had seen your name when Mrs. Gojo shared your information. She wants to know about the little boy that dirties her window with his handprints. She walks to her chair to take a seat, “Satoru never told me he had a kid. Or are you the nanny as well?”

“That’s not Satoru’s kid.” You lie, and she can read right through you– Even if she couldn’t, the child is a copy of Satoru’s. It’s very clearly a lie. “I’m not here to talk about that though… I’m here to– Um…”

“To get started. I’ve been waiting for you. You are late, but considering the obvious circumstances, I’ll let it slide. Plus, you’re an old friend.” Shoko responds. She points at Ren before asking, “Will he be joining us daily? Because I can’t make too many exceptions.”

“No, just today. Mrs. Gojo hired a nanny but she didn’t show up.” You answer, and Shoko’s eyebrows raise.

“So he’s not Satoru’s kid but Mrs. Gojo is his grandmother?” Shoko asks and you hesitantly nod. “Okay…”

“I don’t want– Well, we don’t want Satoru to find out about…” You tilt your head in Ren’s direction. You know he’s listening to everything, even if he doesn’t seem to be. Many questions run through Shoko’s head, but she thinks it’s better if she doesn’t ask. She’s curious, yet it’s none of her business. 

“Okay… You know he’s here, right? He sent me a message not too long ago and whatnot, and he’ll be coming here to at least greet me. If you want to keep it a secret you’ll have to–” Shoko begins and with every word you feel your stomach churn. Your heart feels as if it’s about to beat out of your chest and you have to cut her off.

“I got it, thank you.” You attempt to smile, and your nerves are reflected. You’ll send the nanny the address, and tell her to hurry up before you get Mrs. Gojo more involved than she already is. “Will you please show me to my desk? And of course, inform me of my tasks. Mrs. Gojo blindly threw me in here.”

“Right. Yup. Of course.” She stands up. She’s about to guide you out of the office and to your desk, but she has something to say. “Don’t you think he deserves to know?”

“I deserved to know about his marriage. We had been together for a long time. But he cut me off as if it was nothing.” You respond. “There was no way for me to contact him anyway.”

“Yeah… Sorry. Let’s get you to your desk.”

Ren hides under your desk, playing with your phone as you wait for the nanny to show up to the place. She apologized over a hundred times, a family emergency had come up, but now she’s on her way. And now you pray that she’ll get Ren off your hands before Satoru comes to this floor. You have too much on your plate. 

“Mommy, someone is calling.” Ren announces, passing you the phone. You take it from him, and when you see that it’s the nanny calling, you’re relieved. It almost causes a smile to come to your lips. You put the phone to your ear, and when she tells you that she’s in the lobby, you nearly jump up from your seat. 

“C’mon, Ren. You’re going back home.” You tell him, and he gets out of the desk and grabs your hand. He’s a little too excited to go back home, after all, he doesn’t do much here. Back at home though, he has so many toys and a big TV where he can watch his cartoons. 

“Are you coming with me, mommy?” He asks. He knows that you have to work and you spend so much time working, but he’s still hopeful that you’ll nod in response. Instead you smile at him before shaking your head,

“I’ll see you later, baby.” You ruffle his hair. “This weekend we’ll do something fun.”

He slowly nods his head, a bit disappointed by the answer, but it’s to be expected. You knock on the Shoko’s office door, and you wait for her to allow you to come in. When you hear her voice, you open the door and quickly announce, “I’m dropping Ren off in the lobby with the nanny. I’ll be right back.”

She nods in response and you close the door again. You walk to the elevator with Ren, and you get in, fully expecting to hide him again just because you feel as if the universe hates you, and you might bump into Satoru again. But you’re lucky.

You make it to the lobby without the universe playing any tricks on you, and you quickly spot the nanny. You drop Ren off with her, reminding her of the apartment code as you give her Ren’s bag. You kiss the top of your son’s forehead and tell him, “Be good, okay, baby?”

“Yes, mommy.” He nods. You smile at him, happy that you don’t have to worry about Satoru seeing him. The nanny walks away with your son, and once they exit the building, you begin to walk back to the elevators. While you wait for the elevator doors to open, your heart stops for a moment again. 

You begin to walk to the other elevator, hoping to avoid another awkward interaction, but you hear Mrs. Gojo call your name. She’s a wretched woman, that’s all you can think about. Your hands ball up into fists and you take a deep breath before turning around to face her.

“Mrs. Gojo.” You acknowledge her, trying your best to smile at her. You look directly at her, ignoring Satoru and his wife who are right alongside her. You feel Satoru’s wife stare at you while Satoru’s eyes wander around, not wanting to look directly at you.

“I was waiting for you this morning, what happened?” She asks. Before you can answer, she speaks again, “Oh, where are my manners? This is Sayo, my daughter-in-law. And you remember Satoru, right? You two grew up together.”

“Yeah… How could I forget.” You respond. Sayo extends her hand for you to shake, and you do so. Satoru’s hands go into his pockets and he looks anywhere but at you. “Really lovely meeting you.”

“You too.” She smiles. When she lets go, you unintentionally wipe your hand on your pants. 

“What happened this morning?” Mrs. Gojo goes back to her original question. You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to think of how to answer.

“You know the cat?” You ask and she furrows her eyebrows. She’s confused until you say, “Your cat threw up and I couldn’t leave it alone for the–”

“Oh! Oh… Why didn’t you call me?” She replies.

“I did. I left a message as well.” You respond. You awkwardly stand around for what feels like an eternity before you clear your throat. You’re about to speak but Satoru speaks before you.

“You never told me you got a cat, mom. Do you have any pictures?” Satoru asks.

“No.” She answers. “And don’t expect to see it. The cat isn’t staying with me for now.”

“Why?” Satoru asks, and his mom rolls her eyes. That’s enough of an answer for him. “How about you? Do you have pictures?”

“I do.” You respond.

“Can I see?”

“No.” You reply. You then smile at Mrs. Gojo and tell her, “Ms. Ieiri is waiting for me, if you’d excuse me.”

“Oh, we still have to greet her. Mind if we accompany you?” Sayo asks and you shake your head, trying your best to remain polite with everyone. You knew this would happen eventually the moment you began to work for Mrs. Gojo, you just didn’t expect it so soon.

“I’m heading out, I’ll see you three later.” Mrs. Gojo says, waving. You head to the elevator and they walk behind you. Your palms get sweaty and you feel as if you can’t breathe while you’re entrapped in such a small space with them.

“So… You’re my mother-in-law’s assistant but you also work with Ieiri?” Sayo speaks, and you bite down on your lip. 

“Yup, money problems.” You answer.

“Weren’t you planning on becoming a doctor?” Satoru speaks up just as the elevator doors open. You don’t answer his question, walking out of the elevator. You walk straight to Shoko’s office, and they follow behind. Just as you’re about to knock, Shoko opens the door. Her eyes immediately land on Satoru and his wife.

“Special delivery for you.” You tell Shoko. She puts on a smile, greeting Satoru and Sayo as you walk to your desk. When you take a seat, you can’t focus on learning what you have to do. Today was simply the worst day to start the new job.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your new assistant?” Satoru asks Shoko as she takes her seat. The woman shrugs.

“Does it matter?” Shoko replies.

“Well… I guess it doesn’t.” He ends up shaking his head.

“Who is she exactly?” Sayo questions. 

“She’s an old friend. She’s an old servant’s daughter and we grew up together.” Satoru responds. Sayo slowly nods in response as she takes a seat across from Shoko. That makes sense, but she doesn’t understand why you feel so hostile toward him. Maybe she’s reading things wrong though, it was just a brief exchange.

“You know? I want to get to know all of Satoru’s friends better. How about we invite you two out… and Suguru! You know Suguru, right?” Sayo suggests, Satoru’s eyebrows furrowing.

“Know him? I nearly killed him once.” Shoko scoffs.

“You two as in…?” Satoru asks, praying that the second person is someone completely random.

“The assistant.” She answers, and Satoru bites his tongue. He can’t argue about it unless he reveals that he has a past with you, and he doesn’t want that. Shoko purses her lips together before saying,

“I’m in. It’ll be nice to go out with old friends.”

A smile appears on Sayo’s lips and she stands up, “I’ll go invite the assistant.”

“Love, slow down a bit. She’s busy.” Satoru’s hand goes to Sayo’s shoulder. Sayo ends up rolling her eyes before she brushes off Satoru’s hand.,

“I’ll only take up a second of her time.”

🏷 @yeagerfushiguro @luckimoon @uhremmi @conniesbbymama @mykyoon @prettyiolanthe @mc-reborn @the-loneliest-girl @cloudsinthecosmos @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @blinkingsuns @oi-loverboy @neireav @lilith412426 @misshale21 @rivaiken @q-the-rockaholic @merlinssassybeard @ikilledsparky2 @mimizsworld @lily3847 @Teslumieres @floralsightings @Mocha-plxnet @idreamitski @creolequeen11210 @jooaannnnaaa @enthusiastiics @lovinkiri @abdce12345 @bkgnotsuma @kariito-art @beelzmunchkin @satosuguswife @kurome-ga-kill @hoonberrie @mittypops @suhaaaefre @AZE107 @ackerstein @sweetshawty @saiewithakatana @psychopotatomeme @innocxntdexth @4-morant @shan-nein @marymosaa @Ditzyberry @purpleguk @basically-an-anime-stan-acct @bomjug @idkbutokaylol @rosieee491 @ieathairs

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 10

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 1457

Smut warning!! Masturbation only.

Masterlist

A/n: of course I figure out how to write longer chapters when there's a smutty Joe Goldberg scene involved... Also, I realized today the whole "but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you" in the summary isn't actually that "soon". I'm just having way too much fun with stalker Joe...

Radio silence.

That's what the past two weeks have been, and it's my own fault. I fucked up. I tried to push for too much too fast.

When we left the festival, everything seemed fine. I got you a cheap burger and some coffee like I promised, and I sobered you up like I promised, and I got you home safely like I promised, and everything was just great. Then, the next day, I texted you:

ME: Do you want to get dinner with me after work tonight?

And you answered:

And I told you of course but then the weekend came along and you told me you had a thing, and then the next week you were busy, and now it's been two weeks of us barely talking. You're not even that busy, (Y/n). I know because you stay in every night eating twizzlers and watching Netflix. You're not even reading, which may have been a good excuse to bail on me if the book was really, really good.

YOU: ugh!!! i can't 😭 i'm sorry this week is going to be the worst

YOU: maybe this weekend? 😁

Well, today, I'm figuring out why you won't talk to me. It's easy as pie. First, I call a plumber about a leak in your bathroom. I make sure to pick a big company, so the person on the phone definitely won't be the person who comes by. Then, after your landlady has opened the door for the guy they sent, I go in and call:

“Babe? I thought you promised you weren't gonna leave the door open anymore! Oh, hello.” I act surprised to see the plumber coming out of the bathroom. “Are you… supposed to be in here?”

“Got a call about a leak. Everything seems fine, though.”

“(Y/n)’s always saying she's sure somethings wrong in there. I keep telling her there's nothing wrong at all.” I make a motion with my hand. “She's just not strong enough to close the tap all the way.”

Your apartment is old. I really hope I'm right about your taps being old, too.

“Well, there are no leaks,” the plumber says. “And you can tell her I said so.”

“Well, thank you for coming out, anyway.”

“Yup.”

I lie on your bed for a while, breathing in your scent. Then I go into your bathroom and smell your soaps. None of this is why I came here, but I can't help myself. I'm drunk on you.

And then the guy leaves.

I am gloriously alone inside your space. It's even better up close than from a distance: your books are all well-read, and on the wall where the windows are, you've got posters of old shows and movies. You've got a cd-player underneath your window which can't be seen from outside, and a cd-pole, too. You’ve got Bowie and Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana, and you don't just have them to have them either. They're not dusty, which means you actually play them.

Finally, I find your laptop. It's underneath your bed, just where you always leave it. You never close it down properly and you don't have a password, which means I'm in.

You are logged into WhatsApp and Discord. I can read all your texts. Your e-mail is open, too. This is the history of you, right at my finger tips.

I check the time. Four pm. Another hour until you even start to go home.

First, I check your texts. You are texting right now: your mom. Or at least, you sent your last message to her ten minutes ago, and you're still waiting for an answer. It's all in Dutch, though, and if I take the time to translate everything, I'll be here for far too long.

Your texts with Nadia are the same deal. Dutch. I translate the last few, from last night, because I think you might have actually said something meaningful to her, but nope:

YOU: what colour should i dye my hair?

NADIA: No!!! You finally have your own colour back and you TOLD ME to stop you if you tried to bleach it again!

YOU: ok but what if i dont bleach it

NADIA: I will fly over there and kick your ass.

I smile. I still like Nadia.

Below that exchange, there is your work group chat. Then, there are your messages to me. You don't text a lot of people, it appears.

Your Discord is the same: a whole lot of nothing. Most of the messages are years old and while I would love to go through them sometime, to get to know a younger version of you, today is not the right day.

Your email is more interesting. You, (Y/n), have a penpal. Here's the latest in a long, long email chain:

To: Greybird@wirrhino.com

Subject: WHY AM I LIKE THIS

hey hey,

i know we haven't talked in a while (why does every email we send each other start like that omg) but i miss you, and i wanna talk to you, and i figured you don't mind getting a message at like 3 am.

how are you doing? how's your family? how's the manny-ing job going? (is that even how you say that? idk. i'm not english and i will never pretend to understand the intricacies of the jokes of this language.)

a lot has been going on with me, i'll be honest. for one, as you know, i moved to new york!!! fucking finally. we are in the same country now, which means we have to plan that road trip across the states soon. come on, grey. we've been talking about it since we were 16 and we WILL make it happen. i will murder you if you say no!!!

anyway. things are good here. ish. you know how it is. the job is jobing. i don't think anybody there really likes me. actually i'm pretty sure no one there does. it's super lonely.

at least i've made a friend! his name's joe. he works at a bookstore so you just KNOW i have a crush on him. but also he's my only friend here and i don't want to ruin that. but i kind of am ruining it bc now i'm avoiding him bc i'm 100% sure he likes me too and WHY AM I LIKE THIS, GREY?? ANSWERS ARE NEEDED! but yeah. he's really great. and cute. and ugh.

write back!! i need advice and also i need to hear about your life.

love,

(Y/n)

I have never been so happy, (Y/n). I love this Grey, whoever he is, because you told him I'm really great. And cute. And ugh.

Also, you said you have a crush on me. I knew it! You are obsessed with me. You send emails about me at three am. You think I'm great, and cute, and ugh. You are avoiding me because you want to jump my bones. You are so obsessed with me you can't stand to talk to me.

I lie back on your bed and stare at the ceiling and I'm hard. Harder than I've ever been. I press my hand against my cock and then I unzip my jeans and stroke myself and is this love, (Y/n)? Will we one day tell our children you couldn't stand to be near me because you loved me so much?

Great. And cute. And ugh.

Great. And cute. And ugh.

One day soon you will show me that email and you will be so embarrassed, but I will tell you how adorable you are. I will tell you I was in love with you from the start, from the moment we met. Then you'll kiss me and you'll ride me right on this bed, right in front of this window where anyone can see us–

I check the time again. I need to get going soon, or you're going to catch me here. One day it will be expected of me to be waiting for you after work, but that day is not today.

I come hard, all over my fingers but luckily not on anything else. Part of me wants to wipe my hand on your sheets just so you'll smell me tonight, but I know you're not ready for that.

I go and wash my hands in your bathroom. The one where there isn't any leak.

I replace your laptop, make sure your bed is exactly as it was when I came in (messy, so that's easy) and pick up a sock you left on the floor. That'll be a keepsake for me. A reminder of this day, when you told someone you had a crush on me. That I am great. And cute. And ugh.

[kithtaehyung]

hi, ryen! i just saw it was 3tan anniversary and tho i’m late i wanted to leave a little message too!

i’ve said it about a hundred times already, but three tangerines is so special to me. this world you’ve created and to which you dedicate so much of your time and heart has become nothing short of comfort to me. reading your words, regardless of how angsty they often can be, feels like a hug. from yoongi slowly coming down to vulnerability, to reader slowly opening up to change and affection – these are the characters whose struggles i’ve followed hand in hand, by your side!

i know i’ve been absent and i’ve missed this community a lot (saw there’s a discord happening too, and imma apply to it asap!!), but i’ve never left, cus three tan is always with me. it’s with me when i take some time to breath and remember that i deserve to be loved, when i speak myself despite being afraid of how i’ll be perceived, when i watch fireworks or simply when i remember a dialogue, a scene, and i smile. you’ve achieved something so beautiful and so especial and i hope you know that.

i’ve written reviews that aren’t nearly enough to express my love to your and your work. i’ve cried, i’ve laughed and i’ve kicked my feet. 3tan yoongi, very much like real life yoongi, is a safe space for me and many others, and he was written by your hand. by your care with your characters, by your preoccupation with always giving us the best, by your moments of pause and ponder and by your incredible talent. every lil hiatus, every interaction, every thirst days in the side blog, every ask game, every teaser you’ve posted, are all pieces of the beautiful now two-year-old mosaic of three tangerines, and it’s been an honor to be part of this journey, even if i’m a lil away.

you KNOW how much this series means to me, how much it has changed me. your talent, your skill, your creativity and your vision has lead us all to breath together with these characters, to feel their pain but also, and most importantly, to grow with them, and i lowkey hope this journey never ends – and i know that, even when the last chapter comes (LONG IN THE FUTURE!!), this will stay forever. three tan will have as many birthdays as its readers.

i also saw that you’ve been through some stuff lately, and i hope you’re feeling better. i hope this community can inspire some well deserved peace in you and you can have a tranquil day! 

oh and i know im slacking but i’ve read busted!! i’ve been very busy with a research project so writing a review became kinda impossible, but i’ve loved it (i wont comment much here cus this message already long af and i prefer to write decent reviews lol).

anyway, thank you. really. thank you so much for this.

LUAAAA it's been ages since you sent this but i told myself i would sit down and reply to you today bc it's been way too long sitting in the drafts. gonna put this under a cut bc there's a lot i wanna say and cry about :')))

i’ve said it about a hundred times already, but three tangerines is so special to me. this world you’ve created and to which you dedicate so much of your time and heart has become nothing short of comfort to me. reading your words, regardless of how angsty they often can be, feels like a hug. from yoongi slowly coming down to vulnerability, to reader slowly opening up to change and affection – these are the characters whose struggles i’ve followed hand in hand, by your side!

thank you. like. first of all, thank you for everything. you've been such a wonderful part of this journey, and i honestly still don't know what i did to deserve this level of love. i legitimately cried when i got this message all those days ago, because ngl it was sent during a rough time. you have no idea how much i needed this, and i truly cannot thank you enough for basically saving my writing motivation bc it felt like i was one foot out the door with everything that was going on at the time. this was something i didn't tell y'all, but it's true.

i know i’ve been absent and i’ve missed this community a lot (saw there’s a discord happening too, and imma apply to it asap!!), but i’ve never left, cus three tan is always with me. it’s with me when i take some time to breath and remember that i deserve to be loved, when i speak myself despite being afraid of how i’ll be perceived, when i watch fireworks or simply when i remember a dialogue, a scene, and i smile. you’ve achieved something so beautiful and so especial and i hope you know that.

this world is special to me, as well, and all of you are part of that. thinking of you all every single day alongside these characters has just become part of my life. and it's gonna continue to be this way for a very, very long time. we've been living lives with them - growing, changing, improving - and that is wonderful to witness.

everything you've mentioned about when you think of them? same. i just saw fireworks yesterday, and i thought of that balcony. and everything that has happened since that night fireworks was posted. as we approach the new year, you best believe i will be thinking about all of you once again.

i’ve written reviews that aren’t nearly enough to express my love to your and your work. i’ve cried, i’ve laughed and i’ve kicked my feet. 3tan yoongi, very much like real life yoongi, is a safe space for me and many others, and he was written by your hand. by your care with your characters, by your preoccupation with always giving us the best, by your moments of pause and ponder and by your incredible talent. every lil hiatus, every interaction, every thirst days in the side blog, every ask game, every teaser you’ve posted, are all pieces of the beautiful now two-year-old mosaic of three tangerines, and it’s been an honor to be part of this journey, even if i’m a lil away. you KNOW how much this series means to me, how much it has changed me. your talent, your skill, your creativity and your vision has lead us all to breath together with these characters, to feel their pain but also, and most importantly, to grow with them, and i lowkey hope this journey never ends – and i know that, even when the last chapter comes (LONG IN THE FUTURE!!), this will stay forever. three tan will have as many birthdays as its readers.

3tan yoongi means just as much to me as y'all, and reader, and everyone that's involved in this series. to know that he's like that in your life like irl yoongi? i want to cry. for real, it means so incredibly much to me that you've found comfort in both of them. i don't know what else to say other than it's the biggest damn honor i could ever think of.

even if i'm a little far away sometimes, just know that i am always coming back to 3tan. i work on it the most out of everything i've got going on, to the point where it's become part of me and my daily routine. the goal is to finish it out just as strong as it's been going thus far! and that includes all the fun times we have on this blog and discord and elsewhere!

i also saw that you’ve been through some stuff lately, and i hope you’re feeling better. i hope this community can inspire some well deserved peace in you and you can have a tranquil day! 

it's okay, love. there's been some tough times recently but we push on. my only ask of y'all is to be happy, healthy, and come say hi once in awhile<3 i do wanna keep talking to you all!

oh and i know im slacking but i’ve read busted!! i’ve been very busy with a research project so writing a review became kinda impossible, but i’ve loved it (i wont comment much here cus this message already long af and i prefer to write decent reviews lol).

you're totally ok! whenever you get the chance, you write to your heart's content and i will eat it up multiple times over just like your other wonderful fantastic amazing commentary pieces. i definitely wanna keep those forever.

anyway, thank you. really. thank you so much for this.

thank you, as well. it's been quite the journey, these two years. looking back on everything, it's unbelievable how much we've been through! but we will keep making fun memories and keep being there for each other, and everyone in the 3tan crew. thank you again, lua, and i hope you have a wonderful rest of the year and a prosperous 2024!

[thetruthaboutnolan]

Sorry I’ve been busy and quite honestly not logging into this account for a long time as I’ve been switching between my RP mains and characters when getting on. But got a few messages and decided another short answering session is in order. forgive any typos I'm on mobile a d don't actually care about it screwing up because i type to fast for it, keep up iphone.

Are they are stalking your social media pages?

Not mine, but the person that no life or lawyer having jadedglory psycho is actively stalking with her pedophile friend. It’s a social media that pedophile found and threatened to blackmail him with if he didn’t smut with her or admit she was the ultimately marvel nerd. From what he tells me, he keeps it up and will randomly change the info with stuff that happened between when he was a teenager til now but make it look recent. since he knows and he is right that she continues to stalk it and share it. Funny the pictures haven’t been updated in a decade though, probably should have been their first clue that account wasn’t really active. Now I know it’s hard for them to read without completely spazzing out like the 4 year old losers they are. But they seem to think I’m like 9 different people and had that other blog ran by that thing which also has no life collect the info and pass it around. However I’ll say it again as I’ve been saying it for years I’VE NEVER GONE BY OTHER ALIASES!! I know it’s hard for them to read as their eyes are old for people pushing mid 40. Their one shred of connecting me with the person who is their victim grooming victim is the fact that at a recent point in time we’ve used the same discord. It’s also known that I have and encourage the making of multiple discord accounts. It’s also well known and documented as early as 2015 that I’ve let multiple people use a specific discord account of mine……. You do the math. Hahaha.

For those that need hand holding, yes, I’ve not been the only one using one discord account since its creation. I originally stated after my second S attempt during the first time I ran my abilities roleplay I had a friend run it for me, this friend even admitted to the members at the time that they were me but would act as ‘Nolan’ so that the troll army hailthehelpful unleashed on me wouldn’t think it won. She saw first hand the disgusting things I was being sent. Then I did jt again to a friend I made though Hollow Grove yes the same man who also helped another friend of ours advertise his Star Wars site a couple of years ago. He also helped the guy find RP buddies by joining servers with his own account as this friend’s pedo stalker was reading everything he posted on the now ‘community’ discord account I guess jt can be called.

Add about three more friends to that then you get to the guy whose personal info was leaked. That’s one of the reason I’ve been active like insanely active on tumblr’s RPC but all these dramatic 40 year olds have only found me on like 2 groups. I’ve been using my other tumblr RP discord account. Now why did I give this guy the discord? Why not, given it to quite a few others. I did it because he said he was going back to jcink and back to the old groups he loved being in, fandoms. His pedophile stalker is ALOT like him they have many of the same likes, dislikes, personal traits, style of writing and coding, and fandom. The only difference is while he keeps it humble, his stalker hunks she’s too ahit and will smite anyone that goes against her since they are a narcissist. So I gave him the log in and told him to have fun. Use it as a shield from his actual account and that he can run to when his stalker goes after him. Not even I predicted it would be his first forum going back, unlucky bastard. but he is bold I'll give him that, id never join that group, The Greed is it? but he apparently wanted to and has gotten onto the group and into speaking with both the stalker and the psycho. funny they cant tell its him, I thought they knew him oh so well.

anyway, right now this guy I met named kev has it under his control. i still sometimes log onto it as its my dumping account now. its where i put my discord layouts, self programmed bots, and dump sone of my links for drama and coding templates.

so have fun psycho stalker @jadedglory cry, scream, rage about this being wrong. the evidence is there and I've said it multiple times years ago. how else does your tiny mind think that your friends victim and myself have been able to join groups and remain so active all this time? because your dumb ass has been single minded focused on one account well now two. don't you have a life? a man? or woman or a hand? Sure don’t got no lawyer. like you need help in many many ways that go beyond psychologically. Some of us over here playing chess while others think it’s checkers and playing themselves hahaha.

anywho, time to get back to baldur's gate that G got me addicted to. But just a few hours, i got a meeting at 11 and admin work to do.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (June 1/2021) - All Roads Lead to Rome

Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg for overshadowing his supreme fridge.

Tubbo creates a new outpost just outside Las Nevadas to overlook the country.

Techno has a birthday party with the Syndicate and Quackity comes over to bring a message. 

Quackity speaks with Foolish in Las Nevadas about his future plans for the country and roads.

Niki finds out about Wilbur’s revival. 

Bad asks for Techno’s help with destroying his enemies, as he’s upset about L’Llamaburg violating the buffer zone agreement. Puffy confronts Bad about the brewing war.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Technoblade

Nihachu

BadBoyHalo

Captain Puffy

---

- Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg

- Ponk sends Foolish through the labyrinth he built

- Afterwards, they visit the turtle sanctuary

- Ponk shows Foolish that he tore down the tower for overshadowing his supreme fridge. Foolish points out that he and Puffy don’t have the best history. Ponk is still bitter over Puffy destroying Sacrifice’s shrine

- Tubbo creates an outpost on a mountain just outside of Las Nevadas to keep an eye on the country

- Quackity comes over and asks what Tubbo is doing. He says he’ll speak with Tubbo later

- If anyone asks, Tubbo will say it’s just a cookie outpost from Snowchester

- Foolish comes over as well and tells Tubbo that he sent Punz on the mission to find the nuke

- Tubbo asks why Foolish has left Snowchester. Foolish says he’s trying something new -- he’s joining Las Nevadas, actually

- Foolish takes Tubbo on a tour through Las Nevadas. He asks if Tubbo would want to join Las Nevadas, but Tubbo declines

- Techno starts off in his house. He walks outside to find Niki, Phil and Ranboo launching fireworks for his birthday! They also set up a table outside the house with some cake

- After they eat some cake, Techno asks what he’s missed. He’s gone off into the wild to train, while Phil thought he was hibernating. Techno asks if they found out Tommy actually died. Phil tells him he did, but Dream brought him back

- Speaking of things brought back...Wilbur is back too. Niki and Techno are both shocked. Phil tells them that he’s actually living in Phil’s house currently. He tells Niki Wilbur’s changed for the better

- Techno brings Steve out

- He notices the new forest, which the others say sprouted up. It just appeared

- The subject returns to the revival book. Niki says, if Wilbur and Tommy have been brought back, there’s one person left that can be brought back that they don’t want back: Schlatt

- Niki asks if there are any new governments. Phil says no, Snowchester is still there but nothing much has happened that they need to step in on

- They solved the government issue with brute force. Techno says it was “mild property damage,” but Phil disagrees, saying it was mass destruction. They agree to just blame everything on Dream

- While he was away, Techno studied the blade. He suggests a training session for Niki and Ranboo

- Techno has something to do. He leaves, noticing Quackity standing on a hill nearby

- Quackity says hello. Techno tells him it’s his birthday (he’s not sure how old he is, though) and Quackity thanks him for helping with the Egg. He asks if Techno has visited Dream (Techno hasn’t)

- Techno went to the Dream SMP equivalent of Italy on vacation

- Quackity tells Techno he’s been visiting Dream, and that while in prison Dream seems to be a completely different person. Techno asks if Dream’s been treated well, and Quackity says he’s fine 

- Just a few days ago, Dream told Quackity that he wanted Techno to visit, that he finally wanted to call in a “favor”

- Techno explains that the “favor” is that he has to get Dream his favorite meal at some point, since they were at a restaurant once and Techno forgot his wallet

Quackity: “He’s changed a lot. If you walk in there, he doesn’t seem like the person he’s always been, which is weird, how a person can change just like that.”

Techno: “It’s strange what five months of near total isolation can do to a person...as we know, it’s always a positive effect.”

- Sometime during this weekend, Techno will visit. Techno asks if Quackity has any written message from Dream, and Quackity says he can probably get one. He only has notes right now

- Techno asks if Quackity is telling the truth. He would hate to be lied to on his birthday...Quackity says he’s not lying, and as he said, he’s glad they set aside their differences

Quackity: “At the end of the day, scars fade away, Techno...”

- Quackity says goodbye and leaves. Techno wonders if he can trust him

- He returns to the others and they celebrate some more

- Phil takes them all down to show off the training arena he made in the basement

- They go back up and talk some more

- Meanwhile, Quackity meets Foolish at Las Nevadas. He asks about Tubbo’s outpost, and Foolish says it’s a cookie outpost. Quackity tells Foolish not to trust it, realizing he actually hasn’t talked to Tubbo recently

- Quackity is bothered by how clear the view of Las Nevadas is from the outpost and questions why Foolish didn’t stop Tubbo from building it

- He asks the last thing Foolish did in Las Nevadas as they walk over there, and then whether or not he’s already discussed the possibility of a “contract” of formal citizenship

- Quackity wants to get to know Foolish better. He makes sure that he can trust Foolish, confide in him certain information

- Foolish remarks that Quackity seems like the kind of guy who would make a lot of enemies, and gives him a set of Netherite armor

- Speaking of making enemies, Quackity takes Foolish over to the lake to look out at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters. Someone paid them a visit

Quackity: “Have you ever met...Wilbur?”

- Foolish hasn’t. Tommy told him a bit. Quackity points out an empty spot in Las Nevadas where he wants something done. He tells Foolish he just paid a visit to an old friend and he went unprotected, so the Netherite is a good idea

- Only two people have just given Quackity armor, and one of them is Quackity’s “right hand man” at the moment: Sam. Foolish mentions Sam screwed him over with L’Sandburg

- Quackity points out Eret’s cobblestone ocean pyramid. This country needs more citizens, more things built

- He shows Foolish the gambling machine and gives him diamonds to try out. Foolish wins Linda! 

- Their objective with Las Nevadas is to build the biggest, most powerful country, and Quackity’s read his fair share of Sun Tzu. He’s actually helped run a country before, which Foolish is surprised to learn (countries are before Foolish’s time)

- Quackity says he’ll talk to Foolish soon and leaves for a couple minutes before returning. He asks for PVP lessons, but Foolish hasn’t done much fighting for a while

Quackity: “I do all my fighting through dialogue, if you haven’t noticed...That’s my biggest weapon, Foolish, it’s the way I say things, everything, all that. But I think, you know, given what could come of all this...”

Foolish: “I was gonna say, I don’t know if that will work forever...unless you’re very, very good with your words, eventually you’ll say the wrong words.”

- Quackity suggests they make their own lookout outpost 

- Quackity has some plans to show Foolish, a project he thought of when he was thinking about making Las Nevadas. His first plan was to build a highway system

Quackity: “They say all roads lead to Rome...in this case, all roads lead to Las Nevadas.”

- He shows Foolish some sign ideas and Foolish says it would be no problem to build up some roads

- Quackity shows Foolish an old idea for a path with rail lines on both sides, layouts for advertisements

- The first place Quackity thinks the road should go is the Spawn area, for when someone joins or dies. Quackity is annoyed that Tubbo blocked the route, but they can go around it

- They plan out the path of the road. Foolish asks if Quackity wants the road to go to Kinoko Kingdom. Quackity goes silent before saying he wants to focus on the main attractions right now

- Quackity leaves again to go check some things

Foolish: “When you choose a side, there’s always other sides...which means I can’t be buddy-buddy with everyone forever.”

- Foolish does the boat slime jump. Quackity comes back with food and continues to discuss plans. Besides connecting everyone, they also need to make cash off of this highway, so he wants to make sure there’s plenty of advertisement

- L’manburg is destroyed, but it also has a lot of history. Quackity’s noticed no one’s really claimed that area. Wilbur and Tommy are neighboring them now. Foolish asks if they’re enemies...Quackity says he’ll explain that in a bit

Quackity: “We can make L’manburg a main tourist area.”

- Foolish knows a few people might be against that. Anyone from L’manburg, maybe. Quackity reminds him he was in the cabinet, and proceeds to tell him the story of Wilbur:

---

When Quackity joined the server, L’manburg was the biggest nation. Quackity asked to join, and he was declined because he wasn’t British -- the one requirement. He didn’t like this, he felt left out, he wanted to be a part of something.The election rolled around, it was SWAG vs. POG.

(They walk over to the ruins of L’manburg)

Wilbur was going to run a “democratic” election with only one option available to vote for, which Quackity didn’t think was very democratic.

(Quackity gets interrupted by George calling him)

Each party had a Vice President. Foolish assumes that Wilbur’s was Tommy...and Quackity’s was George. Quackity points out King’s Court to Foolish in the sky, the place they had their debate. After their debate, Quackity and Wilbur had a talk, a conversation that stuck with him for a very long time.

Then it was Election Day. What happened was, each party had sponsors. Who endorsed Tommy and Wilbur?

Vikkstar.

Tommy accidentally posted the Vikkstar endorsement video in the Discord before deleting it seven seconds later, but that was still enough time for George to get the link and send it to Quackity, and Quackity needed the one person who could match that endorsement: KSI.

Unfortunately, KSI never replied, as it was quite last-minute. 

That’s when the turning point happened, and Quackity calls it the worst day of his life. George slept through the event. Quackity had no endorsements, no Vice President. The other party was going strong -- but they made a mistake. Their second endorsement was Schlatt. However, Schlatt arrived drunk, and instead of endorsing Wilbur and Tommy, he made his own party on the spot. SCHLATT2020. Not only this, but Niki and Fundy also made their own party too: COCONUT2020. 

The votes go out. POG2020 wins. But, Quackity had an idea, to pool votes with Schlatt. They ended up with 1% more votes than POG, and that’s how Quackity ended up as Vice President of the country. However, this was a big mistake. The policies Schlatt enacted were to exile Tommy and Wilbur, took down the walls, changed up things -- and to be fair, Quackity did join him on this. He was down with taking down the walls. Everything started going downhill. Schlatt would constantly undermine Quackity’s Vice Presidency, his policy ideas, and he did the worst thing to Quackity -- took down the White House that Quackity, Wilbur and Tommy built together. 

Schlatt didn’t care. He started teaming up with bad folks like Dream, other people, and the rest is history. Imagine everything that had to happen to lead to this...

(he gestures to L’manhole)

Foolish: “Do you regret it all?”

Quackity: “...No.”

Foolish: “So, you would’ve let it all go the exact same way, down to Wilbur blowing it all up?”

Quackity: “I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, Foolish...And let me tell you why...All these mistakes, all these things, have made me the person I am now, Foolish. All these experiences, all these bad moments in my life, have made me the man I am today.”

“And you never...you never mess with history. Because everything happens for a reason, Foolish. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t ever pander with history, you don’t ever try to turn it around or change it, because the way things happen are the way things happen at the end of the day. And that’s how we build character. I wouldn’t have Las Nevadas if not for all these...for all these...mistakes, maybe.”

After that, something happened with Wilbur. Quackity didn’t know much about it, but he changed. He was so obsessed with his country that if he couldn’t have it, no one could. He blew up the entire thing, and in that process he ended up dying, and that’s when Ghostbur came to be.

So many more things happened (Foolish finds out that this crater isn’t just from Wilbur), but...it is what it is.

“And if you dwell in the past, you’ll live in suffering your entire life. So take it from me, Foolish. Take in all the experiences you’ve ever had, and apply them to something greater than what you used to be. Take one last gander at...the country that never was.”

---

- Quackity shows Foolish his old house under Karl’s. He’s not seen Karl in a while. He sees that it’s been blown up, and there’s an old message to him from Sam. He’s not sure what happened.

- Quackity shows Foolish the message. Just as he’d said, Sam had given him Netherite armor once. Sam has a good heart. It’s in the right place, he just needs some guidance.

- He leads Foolish down the Prime Path, showing him the other buildings. He takes Foolish over to the museum. 

- They look at the maps and discuss routes again. Foolish asks about a road to the prison, and Quackity says improving his “commutes” would be nice 

- Quackity is glad Foolish is taking the chance on Las Nevadas. Quackity has to leave to address some business, but he’ll get on to help Foolish build the roads later. 

- Foolish goes back to Las Nevadas, looking out over at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters.

Foolish: “It’s kinda been a while since I’ve really had enemies enemies...but I have the feeling that is gonna change soon enough...Maybe not even enemies, but certainly not friends. Kind of a shame, though, I’ve yet to really meet Wilbur...”

- He gets out his shulker box from an Ender Chest and looks inside. There is a stack of TNT.

“It’s been a while...”

- Niki is at the Arctic. Wilbur is back. She thought she got rid of him and doesn’t know why he’s back now, in the only place she feels safe

Niki: “Who are you going to manipulate next, huh? Because it’s not gonna be me this time! It’s not gonna be me this time.”

- Tommy? Tubbo? Jack? Jack wouldn’t fall for it. Niki is upset that Wilbur didn’t check up on her. Why would he change? He never changes or cares

- Why would Dream revive him? Dream was his enemy, but at the end he was pretty fond of him

- Niki heads back through the Nether to her secret city. Now the world revolves around Wilbur again

- She still hasn’t finished her city and hasn’t been able to sleep. She goes to a chest to find the diamonds Wilbur once gave her

- Niki saw the TNT when she broke the wall, but she didn’t tell anyone, covered it back up. But Wilbur still blew it up anyway

- Niki puts the diamonds in a chest buried deep in the wall and covers it back up

- She goes back to the main area, to L’manburg. When she was in Manberg, Wilbur promised that he would get her out of there, and she waited weeks. And then Wilbur wasn’t the same person anymore

- Niki thought maybe while Wilbur was still alive, he could still be rescued, could still be happy

Niki: “But you will never be happy, because all you want is what you can’t have. And when you have everything...what will you fight for?”

- Niki wants to see him, ask why he never came back to her. She walks back to the Nether portal and the stream ends

- Bad shows up to L’Sandburg and notices L’Llamaburg next door. He’s upset about the new castle and wonders why Foolish would allow this, as it violates the agreement

- He reads the purpose of L’Llamaburg and is enraged. There’s only one option, and that’s war. He sets fire to the walls of L’Llamaburg, builds an extension on top of his tower to make it taller than Puffy’s build, and builds a giant sign saying “LIAR” 

- After visiting the main area to get some resources, he meets Antfrost on the Prime Path, who has a new skin for pride month! 

- Bad goes to the Arctic to bake a cake for Technoblade’s birthday. After finishing it, he leaves a letter requesting Techno’s assistance:

---

Dear Technoblade,

Greetings on this fine evening. I hope this letter finds you well and I hope your polar bears are doing excellent. It is with my sincerest apoligies that I disturb your peace but I must inquire about possibly obtaining your services. 

Important matters aside I have built a delicious giant cake for you in honor of your birthday. I hope this cake finds you well and may you have many excellent birthdays to follow. If you would be interested in possibly destroying my enemies for me and salting the earth they call home so that they never find happiness again that would be most kind. If you would like to discuss this matter further you know where to find me.

Kindest Regards BBH

---

- Later, Captain Puffy hears of this brewing war and comes online. She confronts Bad about the missing tower from her castle. Bad insists it wasn’t him, it was Ponk

- Puffy reminds Bad of Puffy and Ponk’s conflict from a while ago in which they destroyed each others builds, and says it’s only fair that, if Ponk really did destroy the tower, then she should destroy Ponk’s fridge

- Bad tries to reason with Puffy to not retaliate, while Puffy thinks tearing down the fridge would be doing the place a favor

- Bad brings up the buffer zone violation and they start arguing with each other over Foolish’s land, the turtles, Puffy blames Bad for killing her son, one thing leads to another and soon enough Puffy tells Bad that his L’Sandburg llama citizens are all into BDSM

- They go to the turtle enclosure and see Ponk’s ransom note. Bad says Ponk has to die. Puffy points out they could start with the fridge, and Bad says they should take his other arm. Ponk stole Shelly, they have to kill him

- Puffy gets angry at Bad not wanting to take down the fridge and brings up the death of her son again, how she thought Bad was going to turn over a new leaf at the Banquet and then that leaf ended up covered in blood instead

Puffy: “I should have taken your goddamn arm, Bad!”

- After talking more, the two finally work together to take down the supreme fridge

- Once finished, the two write a return note to Ponk. Bad wants to discuss things with Ponk, and there’s a place in Las Nevadas that he thinks would be good to meet

The note reads:

---

Dear Ponk,

It has come to our attention that you’ve been responsible for some heinous crimes!

Not only did you completely demolish Puffy’s original mushroom house which she let slide. You now have destroyed a tower of her sand castle. BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!

WHERE IS SHELLY PONK!? You’ve not only commited crimes against Puffy but Bad as well! You’ve kidnapped Bad & Sheldon’s dearest Shelly for ransom!

So me and Bad decided to return the favor and give you a taste of your own disgusting medicine!

YOU’RE FRIDGE NO LONGER SUPREME! YOU’VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG MUFFINS AND TAKEN OUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS TOO MANY TIMES!

We all need to talk immediately before this escalates more then it already has.

Leave a book back giving us a time and a place and we will try to attend.

You’ve been warned!

With love, BBH & PuffDaddy

---

- Bad still wants Puffy to move L’Llamaburg, but Puffy wants to stay and protect her son. Bad suggests an alliance: what if L’Sandburg and L’Llamaburg simply combine their territories? It would be beneficial for both nations

- Puffy is skeptical about Bad’s idea and decides that relocating is probably the smartest idea, as Ponk will probably retaliate against her

---

Upcoming Events:

- The final Egg lore stream

- Technoblade’s visit (this weekend)

- Puffy’s lore

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s lore stream

- Dream’s lore video

- Sapnap’s possible lore stream

- Awesamdude lore stream

[kuphulwho]

Ben 10 Fandom: Watch Out For Emma, AKA Llamalover

CW: PEDOPHILIA

I’m not usually one to make callouts, but this absolutely needs to be said. This is an important message for the Ben 10 fandom, especially those on Discord. Take a good, long look at this:

This is Emma, AKA Llamalover. She is a notorious pedo in the Ben 10 fandom. Here, she is actively targeting a person who was one of her victims. You can read the testimony from said victim here. Emma is incredibly dangerous, and I will be giving examples of her vile behavior below. In the meantime, preemptively block her on Discord, if you have one.

ADDITIONAL CW: THERE WILL ALSO EVENTUALLY BE MENTIONS OF FETISH CONTENT OF A CHARACTER WHO IS A MINOR, RAPE, AND INCEST.

For starters, to clarify, Emma (user number 1343 on Discord) is currently 26 years old, and about to be 27. This is an important thing to remember. I will mostly be covering things not mentioned in the above linked testimony from one of her victims.

According to one response in said testimony, other younger fans have been coming forward about Emma’s behavior. Here’s another example of a testimony of her inappropriate behavior with minors:

According to this user, this occurred four years ago, which means that Emma would have been no younger than 22 at the time. And here, we have snippets pieced together of an extremely inappropriate DM between her and a user who was very much a minor at the time:

On the date that this took place, she was no younger than 24. A transcript of her messages, seeing as they might be hard to read:

“-giggle- And I’m the one with B/C racks #causeimcool” “Yeah, I once tried my mom’s swimsuit which is a dark purple. That attempt? The racks ended up popping out LOL. Although my ass looks good in it anyways. Guy better have a nice ass IMO.”

“I saw Ghoulseye is your fave, mine too!!! He is! And so worth lovin #likepinmedownandshit (excuse you, I’m a crazy chick). In fact, Ghoulseye is like 50 Shades of Twilight to me.” “Yes. Because look at those tags. #sorry I’m fucking impatient #looking forward to that shit #sooo want him to take on me. #like pin me down and stuff. #mmmm... LOL #that creator better not see that shit here. #creator don’t like my shit? Then GTFO.”

“Like I died laughing. And yeah, that thing can cream me TBH too. Totally for sure. I’m such a dirty bastard (his face is plastered on my phone too).”

Also, at one point, she ranted on her Tumblr about why she left the Ben 10 subreddit’s Discord server. Here’s why that was:

While it is not specified what exactly it was that she posted, we know that it had to be bad if someone called the cops over it. Observe how she shifts the blame on minors for being understandably uncomfortable with inappropriate content being posted publicly in an all-ages server. She was no younger than 25 when this happened. Here’s an example of the inappropriate things that she tends to post publicly:

Again, she is no younger than 25 here. Now, we’re going to get into her creepy obsession with various underage characters. Her biggest fixation is Kenny Tennyson, Ben’s son in the future, who is no older than 14.

She is no younger than 22 here, posting drooling emojis in response to artwork of Kenny. And in this one, she is no younger than 23:

More on the “old goat” comment:

But that’s not all. Kenny isn’t the only underage character that Emma has had a thing for. Observe:

At the time of these three posts, Emma was no younger than 20. And now we need to talk about the NSFW ask blog that she had for Ben’s aliens.

She even piggybacked on Pride Month to promote said underage NSFW ask blog!

Here, she is no younger than 24. Note how these posts are tagged as both “Ben 10″ and “Pride Month.” It is also worth mentioning that the icon for the blog is Reboot Rath, which is 10-year-old Ben!

(RAPE MENTION STARTS HERE)

As a result, minors 100% had to have seen them. And while we’re on the subject of said side blog...

She reblogged noncon and dubcon prompts to this blog, you know, rape. Again, there’s a really significant chance that minors saw this!

(FETISH CONTENT OF A CHARACTER WHO IS A MINOR AND INCEST MENTION STARTS HERE)

Before proceeding, be aware that the following posts are going to contain adult/minor shipping, fetish content of a character who is a minor, and incest. There is no nudity or anything, but the subject matter still warrants a BIG content warning. This is necessary to paint the entire picture of Emma’s character.

Now, with that being said, here she is having knowingly reblogged fetish art of Ben because it was #relatable to her. This appears to have taken place in June of 2019, which makes her no younger than 24 here:

Transcript: Anon- “Are you aware that you reblogged like... a fat fetish post? Nothing wrong with that, I’d just like to know.” Emma- “I’m aware of that but for me, this is what my life is mostly like as a woman right now LOL. (yep, getting older is bullshit)”

I also want you to observe what she said in her header. She claims to “not support toxic or disgusting relationships.” If that’s the case, then what’s this?

Here she is, in 2020, no younger than 25, openly shipping Tetrax/Ben and Reiny/Ben, while using Reboot Ben, 10-year-old Ben, for the picture! Side Note: Some parts of the image are censored due to containing someone’s OC, as well as someone’s photo. She also claims to “not support incest” in that header. If that was really the case, then why could she be seen liking a bwen post here?

And why could THIS be seen in her DeviantArt favorites?

This one in particular is a double whammy. For context, that’s Drew Saturday, from The Secret Saturdays, and Zak is her son. So this is both implied parental incest and pedophilia!

Now, to wrap this all up, here is where she admitted to having legitimately sent unsolicited nudes to someone who was 14 at the time, the victim whose testimony is linked at the beginning:

For clarification, the 14-year-old that she told her cup size to is not the same person in the above linked testimony. And that person is also not the same person in the DM from earlier. These are three separate incidents. Here’s the cup size incident:

And these tendencies of hers? They’ve been known about for a while (note the statement of her age and the “IT’S FICTIONAL!!!” excuse).

Overall, the takeaway here is to not let Emma convince you that she is the victim. If you can still defend her after seeing this post, do NOT interact. Block me. I want nothing to do with you!

[ivyglow]

psa + deactiv for a bit

I had some time to read what some people were saying out there and it really saddens me how many “I’m lgbtqia+ and I don’t see anything wrong with the tweets” or “at his age I used to say the same things”, this shows us two things 1) some of you were/are really privileged for not understanding that this is systemic violence, therefore, the person who said the slur doesn’t need to mean it in a bad way because it’s a slur no matter the context and 2) some of you think that just because something happened in the past you don’t need to apologize or recognize your mistakes, which is awful, I’m sorry. 

Being a black girl and having a white mother taught me a lot about acknowledgment, just a couple years ago I started calling my mom out in some of her actions and she made me a lot of questions, we discussed a series of topics and her view on racism has been amplified, just a couple months ago she came to me and she apologized for something she did when I was a five years old kid, she said she was sorry if she ever made me feel bad about my skin, or my nose or anything regarding my blackness, she apologize for things she realizes were wrong to my sister too (and my sister is white, so this isn’t only about the “woke” subject as some people try to make it seem). I’ve never asked my mom to apologize, she also never asked me to forgive her, but I’m sure if she was a public person and something came out about her hurting someone (intently or not) she would apologize, because this is how we grow and this is how we acknowledge our mistakes. We understand that we’re inserted into a bigger space and this space influences how we react to some things, but when we have the opportunity to do better: we do better. 

Systemic violence such as racism and homophobia don’t necessarily need the other part to mean harm, because again: it's systemic. Slurs were wrong back then and they still wrong nowadays. It doesn’t mean that because you used it back then you’re a homophobe now, but it means that you hurt someone at the time and how you react and respond to this situation now says something about who you are in the present. I’m so so sad with people saying they used to say it therefore it's not a problem or that he was a kid. Yes, it was something “common” to SOME of you at the time, but it doesn’t mean it was right and if any of you ever get the opportunity to apologize to someone that was around you at the time: please, do. Yes, nols was a teenager at the time, but as a white, rich boy he gets to have the “space to grow” and make mistakes that bipoc and some lgbtqia+ never had. My brother has the same age as Nolan, and he wasn’t excused for his mistakes -no matter how small they were- because he was a black kid.

When I say publicly talking and apologizing, addressing the issue, I mean it so people can see that no matter if for some it seemed ok back then, it wasn’t. Some of you didn’t felt personally attacked by the slurs, which is fine but to say that it wasn’t harmful reduces the feeling of a whole group to your own feelings, it makes exactly what those acts of violence do: it treats us as homogenous. 

I’m completely fine with people supporting him, I really am, it wasn’t my intention to make everyone angry with my first post, I was addressing an issue that was brought to me in my ask box, saying how hockey culture is not something that starts on the nhl or isn’t influenced by the majority there (white, rich, cis, etc). Whoever took the time to read the whole thing saw that I said everything people are repeating there: he was a teenager, probably space, where he grew up, didn’t really introduce him on social issues, people probably never called him out on that at the time and so on, but this doesn’t change the fact that slurs aren’t ok. It strikes me as some of you still live in a fairytale where we get to have bad guys and good guys, but we're human beings and we need to start understanding that someone can do something bad in the past without necessarily being a bad person (that goes from problem to problem, of course). You say you want to change hockey culture and that you want to do better but when a bipoc/lgbtqia+ points an issue and wants to debate it y’all are quick to choose the one who has the same view as you and use it (@someone is gay and didn’t felt affected by it, therefore, it isn’t a big deal!!!), and it's just curious, honestly.

You also feel as if you have the right to come to my inbox and say hateful stuff, question my views and point a finger at me. I’m not perfect nor I expect any player to be, I’m well aware they are mostly white rich men, and the environment they grew up in is completely different from what we would expect as the ideal, but it doesn’t mean that we’re gonna simply ignore issues. That being said I’m not answering about this topic anymore, its tiring and stressful especially when people already have everything out there, and what I keep doing is basically repeating myself in different ways just so yall get your message. I’m not here to educate, this is supposed to be a safe space for me, yet I do talk about these topics because I know we need it more around here. The fact that some of you choose to block me (when we never really talked!!!), point me as a problematic blog, or diminish the topic, shows a lot about hockey culture (that is very present between the fans, not only in the league).

When you start to realize that part of the discomfort we feel while dealing with these issues is the key to changing the situation we’re gonna start going somewhere, while you keep diminishing it and trying to make excuses we’ll be stuck.

I recommend you to read mia’s rant about it here. Also, take some time to read about the nwhl situation here.

I’m leaving for a while, maybe a day or two or maybe a week, I’m not sure, I just need some time to get my energy back, I deal with this shit every day irl, I shouldn’t have to feel bad in here. I’m really thankful for all the supportive people and I’m really sorry for the hateful anons or the people who felt like I was attacking them or their fave, that wasn’t my intention (especially because nols was my fav too, but I personally felt kinda off, maybe in a different time I wouldn’t feel off and that's ok too). Anyway, I hope I see y’all soon in a better vibe than that (those last lb’s were really good for me btw! you guys are amazing) and if you miss me that much (jk) you can ask for my discord acc to my tito ( @barbienoturbby ). love yall <3 mel 

I’m turning my anons back because of all the named anons I had and I know some of them don’t have a tumblr acc but please: don’t send in shitty things/hate, just go live your life the way you want and leave me in peace. 

sorry for the long rant, I just felt like clarifying things because besides the asks there are people blocking me and unf me like crazy which is ?????

[aahsokaatano]

I think everyone around my age (born between like 1994 and 1999) has a sort of.... bond isn't the right word really, but I can't think of anything better. An unspoken shared agreement? A collective awareness?

(I'm sure it's not just the people in that specified age range but that's the group I've noticed it in bc those are my peers)

That's the group that's just a little bit traumatized by online messaging

Let me explain (tw for discussions of suicide/suicidal thoughts - not me! Mutuals do not fret, i am okay)

When i was 17, my friend killed herself. We weren't particularly close - we only knew each other through orchestra. We both played the cello, and i was the section lead, so it was my job to know the others. She was nice. Quiet. Funny once you talked to her a bit.

One morning at school before the first bell, a mutual friend messaged me on tumblr and told me that our friend had died the night before

School let out early that day for unreleated reasons. I went home and took a nap before going to my after school job at a bookstore. My boss asked why I hadn't come in earlier, he knew school had let out several hours before. I told him my friend had died.

His wife started going on about how the internet was killing kids and making them too attention-seeking and I slunk off to shelve books with tears in my eyes.

Another story

My old blog wasn't like, super popular or anything, but I had a pretty decent amount of followers and sometimes people would message me out of the blue. If they were sad, I would tell a funny story or write a little fluffy drabble to make them smile, just like I would for any friend. But one time I started talking to this girl who admitted that I had kept her from committing suicide a few times. That I had saved her life.

It was terrifying

I didn't want that power. I didn't want that responsibility. We became friends, but every single time she messaged me, I was almost physically sick - what if I wasn't enough this time? What if I didn't see her message fast enough? What if I hurt her on accident?

What if it was my fault?

We fell out of touch a long time ago. I don't know what happened to her. I still think about her sometimes, and I almost dread getting an answer. I don't remember her username, but fuck, I remember the cold clench of fear in my gut every time I got a message from her.

A third story

There was a person who made a tumblr account specifically to talk to me, because we had been chatting in the comment section of one of my fics on AO3 and that was clunky and annoying, so they made a tumblr. They were funny and nice and had a habit of sending about 16 messages at a time rather than one long message and it almost gave me a panic attack. Because my brain said "that person needed you and you WERENT THERE and they sent you SO MANY MESSAGES and you never replied" and this person wasn't even suicidal, they just had a lot to say, but the guilt crushed me and anxiety froze me and I could only respond when they were actively online so I wouldn't have to see the message counter tick up.

I lost contact with them after i accidentally deleted my old blog, and a tiny part of me was relieved and a bigger part was guilty because of that relief and I still don't know how I feel about it

One last story

About a week ago, a friend DM'd me on discord with a vague message and an attached file that was named "letter of intent" and I almost had a panic attack on the spot

I have never in my life turned on my computer so fast, because my phone wouldn't support the file type, and i didn't breathe for several minutes until i realized it was just a letter listing out their goals for the year and that they sent it to me to keep themself on track

But god, the fear that tore through me before i knew what was going on - the horrifying certainty that i was going to read a plan of action or a goodbye note - I didn't sleep that night. Even after I knew what was going on. Rational thought doesn't disperse fear that easily.

(Friend, if you're reading this, I DO NOT BLAME YOU. You don't need to apologize. I'm okay, we're okay, and it's all gucci 💛)

So, what's my point here?

My point is that I'm not the only person with stories like this. Where someone sees a message notification and assumes the worst. I know a frankly heartbreaking amount of people just in my own circles with similar stories, and my circles aren't that big. I know that a lot of people probably know the exact feeling I'm talking about.

I think that's why, consciously or not, a lot of my friends start their messages with "hey!" or "quick question" or just "omg so". A little reassurance. A little gentleness. "This isn't a bad thing - or, if it is, it's not that bad thing."

Because... we've seen it before. And it scares us. And we don't want to scare others like that.

Idk. There's not a really a point to this. It's just been swirling around my head for a few days and needed to be put down in words.

[skellebonez]

I just finished reading the messages from Discord and I couldn't resist. Macaque and Pigsy with 8 and 26 (you know what this is about)

I had to write this ASAP so I wouldn't forget or be unable to find exactly what this was about again for reference because this is about something from 3 days ago (and if I hadn’t bumped this it wouldn’t have been written for like 4-5 more days because of my queue)! What's the context here? It's a surprise if you don't know, just read the fill and you will understand why it needed written. Shout out to @animemoonprincess because you know why (and also because a chunk of the dialogue came from you).

I know of your reputation all too well./You don’t hate me.

"You cannot be serious," Macaque muttered under his breath. "You truly cannot be serious. This cannot be a thing that is happening to me at this very moment... I am an immortal being, I almost defeated the Monkey King, I almost defeated your kid, I-!”

“I know of your reputation all too well,” Pigsy brushed off with a scowl as he looked at the two items in his hands to, once again, decide which one was of higher quality and therefore more worthy of a purchase. “Believe me, I didn’t jump into this without knowing what I was getting into, bub.”

Macaque, Six Eared Macaque, was standing in a department store of some kind with his arms bogged down with baskets of all the stuff he had mistakenly allowed himself to look at and react to.

He would ask how, exactly, he had allowed himself to get to this point... But quite frankly he had absolutely no idea. One day he had come back after his, admittedly, crushing defeat at the hands of the Monkie Kid himself and before he knew it he had somehow assimilated into their little group to the point that MK had used his True Sight on him by accident and discovered his little secret.

His Six Eared title was not just a title. It was literal. And his six ears changed colors depending on how he felt and Macaque had never learned how to control that.

It hadn't taken him long to figure out exactly what each of the colors meant. And eventually MK, much more conniving than Macaque had ever given him credit for before, had made a chart. It was basic, of course, red meant he was angry (or really passionate) and blue meant he was happy and grey meant he was sad and so on and so forth. Even figured out what the number of ears sharing the same color meant.

And despite Macaque's best efforts to hide how he was actually starting to feel about the group (more positive emotions than he would ever admit before the day he died again) MK would just look at him sometimes and announce it. Macaque would have been angry if he hadn't, you know... tried to kill the kid. He supposed that the occasional "oh yeah, he looks pissed but he's actually at 2 purple (relaxed) and 2 blue (happy) and 2 pink (love) so I think loved that soup Pigsy" was well deserved.

Eventually he just dropped the glamor hiding his ears (one of many, including the one hiding his damaged eye) and then things spiraled out of control because MK had, at least, never announced when he was feeling genuinely bad unless he had to.

Now everyone could see when his ears went black and grey (upset and sad in varying degrees) at the sight of Monkey King's visage on TV or the taste of something that he had memories of that he could no longer reach. They saw when some would turn yellow (fear) hearing MK yelp in pain (and the fact that happened now, fear for the kid's safety, boggled his mind). They saw the green of jealousy more than once when he watched MK and Monkey King interact. He made sure to leave before that happened again.

That very morning before he and Wukong had attempted to talk. It hadn't... gone well. He had attempted to hide his mood, put the glamor back up, but MK had done what he had only done a handful of times before. He'd gone to Pigsy and told him his (what they had deemed) color rating. 2 red, 3 black, 1 grey. And that sounded about right to him. He wasn't really angry, just... upset. He wanted to be left alone.

Pigsy had followed him to his dojo with hot soup and an air mattress and somehow... somehow that helped. He didn't know why it did, but it helped.

And then he was awoken this morning to Pigsy shaking him awake and dragging him to this store and he was buying literally everything Mac made the mistake of looking at and liking and it was actually kind of endearing but also worrying.

Speaking of which, Pigsy was holding up a little plush doll. Not all that dissimilar to the one MK had. "Do you want this?"

"What? No," Macaque snapped, raising his eyebrows at the suggestion. Yes it was cute, but-

"Hm, I see," Pigsy said vaguely, tossing it on the pile of random stuff in Macaque's arms.

"Wh- stop wasting your money!" Macaque tried to argue, pulling the plush doll out of the pile of useless trinkets he didn't need to toss it back to the pig demon.

Pigsy growled, shoving the plushie into Macaque's arms. "I'm not wasting it if its making you happy am I?"

"H-HAPPY?" Macaque asked, and if anyone said anything he would deny the squeak that came with his word. "I-You-I am starting to hate you!"

“You don’t hate me,” Pigsy retorted casually, as easily as if he had added a dash more spice to his soup broth after a quick taste.

And Macaque had to pause and admit to himself after a moment of self reflection, and looking at his literal reflection in a nearby window (2 purple, 2 blue, 2 pink)... no. He didn’t hate Pigsy.

Huh.

----------

"Kid help, your boss is crazy," Macaque attempted to announce when he "broke into" MK's apartment through the front door, arms still bogged down with all the stuff the chef had purchased for him. He needed somewhere to store his stuff while he fixed up his old dojo. "He-"

"I see Pigsy has adopted you too."

"He's wHAT?"

----------

Macaque had tossed all the clothes and plush toys and trinkets at MK, who made no secret that he was very offended by this, before rushing down to the closed noodle shop where he had left him.

"Pigsy you can't adopt me, I'm older than you and I don't legally exist!" He yelled, grabbing the pig demon by the shoulders and looking at him very seriously.

Pigsy just smirked back at him. "Wanna bet I can't? I have Wukong's lawyer on speed dial."

Well shit.

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog. 

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But  they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads: 

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam  would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late. 

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused. 

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads: 

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:) 

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in. 

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite. 

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better. 

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable. 

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed. 

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop. 

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

[shoezuki]

Do u understand the new dream drama??? I am confusion

Whoop sorry i been doin fuckery n hw All day n like. I still aint able to get on my computer rn but im gon give u a tldr without sources because lazee

I know Practically all a it beyond maybe like. Exact time frames n shit. So ill give u the runnerup to all this

John swan is a commentary youtuber w like. A devent following. I think around 200k? He definitely had 'fans' n an audience for all this n crap

At some point i believe a year ago (idk exactly How Long ago but john swan had like 6k subs on yt) dream n john swan Converged and knew each other. Whether they were friends or not im unsure. But thats not exactly relevant

But essentially john swan on discord made his account out to look like dream and messaged at LEAST one person pretending to be dream, saying slurs like the n word, horrible shit, n something about coding a 'sex mod' ??? Pointing that one out specifically cuz it has become a whole goof

This person Relayed this info to dream who confronted john swan about it. John swan essentially said 'i havent been on discord in a few days. My discord login info was on a family friends computer and a 12 yo i know did all that'

This kinda like. I dont think anything happened While it was jus happening. But at some point a bit over a week ago now, dream made a reddit post saying such about john swan, that he was 'a suspicious guy' and such things on a smaller subreddit. John swan himself screenshotted it and brought it up on twitter that dream 'has a large audience' and defamation of his character can do a Lot of damage to him, and that he was lying

Imma speedrun this cuz its gotten to kinda like. Jus twitter beef. Its essentially 'im not lying YOURE lying' between john swan n dream on twitter. There was some drama alert shit, dream's whole 'detective' stream, john swan made some 18 page length Thing i couldnt be bothered to read.

Dream's arguments the whole time like. Objectively were better and jus more understandable. Made more sense. Although some things Couldve been poked through if john swan replied well enough. For instance one point dream made about it Absolutely being john swan was that the messages sent by this '12 year old' used similar speech patterns n terminology. Which Cam be solid evidence but for some fuckin reason all ppl w followings on twitter type n text like they eat cardboard in their free time like. The blandest ass shit. Whatever

BUT it came to some kind of 'end' today because apparently some Absolute no argument Evidence came out against john swan which hadnt been revealed publically as far as i seen. John swan First admitted to it in dms with friends n other commentary yters who'd made videos n shit on the whole bullshit. Dream tweeted bout it too a thread of like how 'he and the community deserve an apology' but he didnt think itd happen.

The john swan made a tweet w an apology that was essentially. 'Yeah it was me me and a friend were messing around on discord when i had a small following and i hadnt thought it was a big deal but once dream found out and confronted me i lied and continued lying im sorry'

All around its jus wack n like. Dumb as all fuck. Like yes in a 'discourse sucks' way but also in My way that this is No Fun. Like not even that juicy drama i live for. What COULD be actually important (john swan basically admitted to using the n word???) Just Doesnt get mentioned. Wack

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sophia Jirafe

Seven of Sophia Jirafe’s fics are at Gossamer, but more of her X-Files stories are at AO3 (as sophiahelix). I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Stones and Bones. She was active in the fandom during the show’s run and has never strayed far from fandom in general. She co-founded Glass Onion, a great multi-fandom mailing list that now has nearly 1,000 fics from 100 fandoms at AO3. Big thanks to Sophia Jirafe for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It did initially, but so many old shows are on streaming now and getting discovered by new people, it makes sense.

I did get a comment from someone who said my first story under this name, posted in early 2000 when I was a college freshman, was older than her by a couple of months, and THAT took me aback.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was my first fandom, discovered when I was 17 and searching for info about the show on the school library computer, and it really shaped my whole life! I met a lot of people I still know today (mostly in non-fannish venues like FB, though I do still have some connections in fandom), and learned a lot about writing and just life generally, since I was younger than most of fandom at the time.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I started off on a tiny forum at a website called Squirrel’s Nest, but I kept seeing people thanking Scullyfic in fic headers and eventually I was able to join the mailing list (which was capped to 500 members). Scullyfic was everything to me — I made friends, betas, discussed the show, learned about all kinds of things on Off-Topic Fridays, etc. A lot of those friends, I would email with or more often chat on AIM (individual or these sprawling group chats that would go on all day), and then at the end of 2001 we started migrating to Livejournal. I was getting into Buffy more by then, but it was still mostly the same crowd of people I knew from Scullyfic.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

I feel like it started me on a whole life path really — finding that my deep obsession with fiction could be channeled like that and shared with other people, as well as deepening my writing. Online fandom has been a major part of my social life for over 20 years now, and I love the mix of getting excited about things with friends and also the creative outlet.

My corner of X-Files fandom in particular was just very calm and enjoyable for the most part, full of older professional women who were happy to be friends and give me advice about all kinds of things, and it really set the bar for me with my online interactions. Now I’m almost 40 and trying to be that person for my younger friends, as well as having no patience for toxicity and in-fighting in my fandom spaces.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

A combination of the creepy conspiracy angle and just adoring Scully. I remember how mysterious and fascinating the show seemed when I discovered it right before S5, and there was no way to find out more except to keep watching and hoping they explained. Scully was so smart and tough and beautiful and interesting, and as a teen I was just captivated by her (and the UST, though I didn’t care about Mulder as much).

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I ran across it a couple times early on but felt embarrassed by the concept, but then I read the first in Karen Rasch’s Words series and suddenly it clicked for me. After a while I started daydreaming my own conversations between them, very similar to what happens to me now when I’m getting into a new pairing, so after reading tons of recommended fic by big authors, I started writing my own (the 3-4 stories I posted in high school are all wiped from the internet now, though).

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good memories, though because it was my senior year of high school and college, I know a lot of it is just tied to that time in my life, and also being in my very first fandom. I will rewatch episodes from time to time, but I basically never revisit former fandoms because they’re kind of like exes, even if I finished on a good note. I also think my taste in fic has changed (and there isn’t the same novelty of “characters I like getting together omg!”)

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

So many! None of them had quite the same combination of excellent central architecture (especially pre-AO3) and a really high level of discussion and friendliness without being enormous, but I’ve loved them all in their own ways. I’ve done fandom on LJ/DW, Tumblr, Discord, and now on Twitter, and I think I miss the mailing list days the most. You didn’t have to repeat yourself so much in multiple conversations, you weren’t character limited, and the discussion was all in one place, with personal stuff more confined to your side conversations. Discord is a little like that, but it moves too fast and there’s too much noise for my taste.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Heh, after X-Files I went through a whole phase of faves in the Scully vein — Buffy, Aeryn Sun, Kara Thrace, etc. Like many people I’ve shifted primarily into m/m in the last decade (Sherlock, YOI, and recently The Untamed have been my major fictional fandoms, along with a lot of sports RPF), but for non-fannish shows I’m always looking for awesome new female characters, like Elizabeth on the Americans, Peggy on Mad Men, Nadja on What We Do in the Shadows, etc. And I do LOVE Killing Eve and have written a little f/f over there.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I’ll rewatch favorite episodes occasionally, and I keep thinking about a full rewatch but it takes so much time! I never saw the second movie, and I didn’t finish the first of the new seasons because I was hating it, so it’s a little hard for me to think fannishly about them when I disliked basically everything after “Je Souhaite” so much (as far as I’m concerned the show ends there).

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

X-Files no, but yeah I’m still very active in fandoms.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I lost all my saved fic several computers ago, but I recall loving “Blue Christmas” by Plausible Deniability and “Diamonds and Rust” by MustangSally (obviously everything she wrote was great).

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Looking at my X-Files fic, I can’t believe how short it is and how comparatively little of it there is (I have lost track of a few ficlets). It felt like such a big deal to finish anything back then! I think my favorite remains Alphabetum, which involved a tricky structure and 5 elements given by people as part of the Scullyfic Improv challenge, where you had a week to write a story around those elements.

My favorite of my recent fic in fictional fandoms is probably the GoT/YOI crossover novel I wrote a couple years ago, for a completely opposite experience to this (and proof you can grow as a writer with a lot of effort!)

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

It’s honestly hard to imagine going back (like I said, I usually don’t), but I guess I could get inspired by something.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I certainly still write, and I do have to give credit to XF fandom and Scullyfic in particular for giving me the start I got, where I really wanted to be writing good fiction. The few things I wrote in high school were just me jamming out romantic cliches, but the people I was lucky to know in XF fandom showed me that “just” fanfic can still aspire to be high quality. I am a much, much better and more disciplined writer than I was back then, but I might never have started on this path without fandom friends encouraging me.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Usually just daydreaming about emotional dynamics between characters/people, but sometimes something specific in canon or real life (I write a lot of RPF) gets me going, or maybe something I read.

What's the story behind your pen name?

When I wrote for X-Files, I picked “Sophia Jirafe” combining my favorite first name with a fancy spelling for my favorite animal (I was 18! Don’t judge!) Over on Livejournal, my friend Jintian and I initially shared an account with the same name as our website, double_helix, and when she got her own account I changed to sophia_helix, which is now sophiahelix just about everywhere. A little clunky, but I like the continuity (and I do run across old friends who remember the name).

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

The friends I’ve known for a very long time know about it, but we have never talked about it in depth. My husband, who I met not long after getting into fandom, also knows about it, and he’s encouraging and also a writer so we talk all the time. I told my mom in college and she was pretty dismissive, so we haven’t talked about it since (but my younger sister knows and is cool about it).

When I was younger, it was something I shared readily (I bonded with a new friend in law school I saw looking at LJ), but now I don’t really bring it up with new acquaintances.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I just made a Carrd the other day with all my various fannish addresses (Twitter, locked fannish Twitter, AO3, Tumblr)

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Just that it really was a high quality fandom — so much excellent long casefic, so many cool down to earth people, just generally a great launching place for a young fan. The friendships I made with older people were really important to me, and it makes me sad to see a lot of younger people now getting upset about the idea of anyone over a certain age being in their fandom spaces. I hope someday fandom can get back to appreciating that people of all ages can be the fandom type, and that everyone brings something different to the community.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 1, 2020)

[ramblingguy54]

Escape From The Impossibin!: An Exercise Of Trust & Hope.

So, I was predicting for this episode to have Della & Louie bonding time together, which there were cool moments with them to be sure. However, what I really liked about today’s story was how it focused on the aftermath of FOWL’s reveal to still be very much alive to Scrooge’s horror and Beakly’s greatly underlying concern. A couple of days ago before Impossibin premiered today, I chatted with some others on Discord about what this episode’s story would explore for its overall message, which the more I thought about, the more I leaned on the idea it would be centered around the notion of trust. Let’s Get Dangerous had a consistent theme of deceitful liars being revealed who weren’t whom they appeared to be, as seen with Taurus Bulba vs Drake Mallard & Bradford’s true nature being known to Scrooge at that hour special’s ending. 

Escape From The Impossibin is all about confronting the growing tension that’s become a threat to a content family lineage of adventurers, who now have to defend everything they stand for in their legacy, once again. That’s something I’ve always appreciated about DuckTales is even when it doesn’t entirely match my predictions, it finds other new ways to surprise me for what it can do. Della & Louie didn’t necessarily get the bonding time I had hoped for, which did admittedly disappoint me, but they did a serve a purpose in their own right that I’ll get to later. Anyways, the spotlight is on the older mentor figures, Scrooge McDuck and Bentina Beakly, who are all too familiar in dealing with FOWL’s antagonism before in Season 1′s episode, The Confidential Case Files Of Agent 22, that especially applies to Beakly’s past in fighting them as an agent of SHUSH for very much longer compared to Scrooge. With how much is at stake you’d very much expect there to be old feelings being drudged up, regarding Scrooge’s trust and respect for Bradford, as well as Beakly’s strict over protective nature with Webby to keep her safe from losing that optimism that makes her stand out as a beacon of hope to inspire others, which they do. FOWL isn’t like Magica or Lunaris who want to make themselves known flat out to the world with their egos. They’re very cunning and cold blooded with going about executing their plans for control of the Earth. Particularly, Bradford is the serious threat most of all because he’s the brains of this outfit giving precision in each order to those under his command. Combine Bradford’s knowledge with the muscle of Steelbeak, Rockerduck’s underhanded scheming, Gandra Dee’s scientific intellect, Black Heron’s lust for more power, and Phantom Blot’s ability to absorb all kinds of magic that gives the McDucks’ a severe scenario they’ve never faced. FOWL is the right combination to put an end to Scrooge’s adventuring because Bradford has kept a close eye on him for so many years. Bradford has seen plenty of Scrooge at his total best and worst most of all. He’s studied upon every detail of Scrooge’s life, for who knows how many years, and is finally putting all of it to use against him, where we get to see the extent of just how well Bradford can read every one of his moves. Lunaris’ intellect was simply a figurative puddle compared to what Bradford managed to accomplish with his high IQ.

The scary thing is Scrooge knows this reality himself, too. 

That’s one of my favorite elements of Impossibin’s purpose. We get to see Scrooge seriously doubt his abilities. In episodes, like The Most Dangerous Game Night and The 87 Cents Solution, Scrooge has always prided himself in being a very sharp individual who could see every angle and any detail that others couldn’t. Bradford, on the other hand, rivals Scrooge’s thinking that puts an eerie perspective on things for the old man. Scrooge always thought to be one step ahead of the game, but then realizes that someone who’s been by his side for so very long played him like a fiddle all those years. Who’s to say Scrooge isn’t probably thinking back on stuff such as Bradford shutting down his rescue operation for Della, controlling his money usage, letting Louie hang around Bradford in The Richest Duck In The World, finalizing Gyro’s inventions, etc? Scrooge realizes he’s had a dangerous character around the family manor all those years, which makes him doubt his ability to trust himself in protecting everything that he holds importantly in life. Scrooge isn’t just thinking he’s been fooled, he’s doubting every aspect of what made him competent to begin with. Doesn’t help among this moment of self reflection Bradford is there to further rub in that harsh reality of how much he knows about Scrooge.

This moment gave me chills because it completely put a spin upon the story’s concept. I figured that FOWL would hack Scrooge’s security system, with help from Gandra Dee’s abilities, and I’m glad it went this route, since it shows how dangerous things are this time. They’re not even safe within the confines of their own manor anymore, considering Bradford knows every nook and cranny of it. Scrooge thought only he knew the security system’s password, given its based on the amount of all money in his money bin, but Bradford covered that crucial detail, too. Bradford isn’t leaving any loose ends toward Scrooge in how he’ll go about using any little thing against him for future reference. That’s what makes the stakes higher here than compared to Lunaris’ invasion. This is a much more personal story between a clash of ideals with Adventuring vs Control. Lunaris lacked that emotional connection here Bradford is making Scrooge have to face that adds another layer of tension to this situation. Bradford wants Scrooge to know, “I have control over you. There is nothing you know that I’ve already figured out about yourself.”, and going about hacking the robotic version of himself is the best way to send home that message to him. It can also be interpreted as symbolism for Scrooge fighting his own insecurities when Bradford takes control of the robot to start attacking.

I need you, the two most cunning individuals I know, to spot any weaknesses.

Now, Della & Louie did serve a big purpose, despite the Plot A point focusing greatly on Scrooge’s existential dilemma, for they were there to remind Scrooge of just how much of an impact his life style has had on them. Della & Louie’s teamwork together throughout the episode is a perfect way to give Scrooge a reality check reminder for how skilled they are as adventurous fighters against unknown dangers. After all, Scrooge passed on his skills to Della, who’d later pass down her intellectual skills to him, too. Again, tying into the whole theme of legacy and what not about how much family can bring out the best in each other. If it wasn’t for what Scrooge had taught them, then he wouldn’t have been saved by Louie’s defining act of being a badass, by willingly diving into the pile of money, which got hit by a gravity changing rosa rune from the robot and ended up crushing it. I wanted to see more mature Louie, so him lifting Scrooge up about how much pride he has in the family lineage was a great nod to it. That in turn, allowed Scrooge to remember why he and their family are strong together. You know, after recent events that have happened in my life, seeing legacy be explored in DuckTales Season 3 means a lot to me now more than ever.

As for Beakly’s B Plot, in terms of how it ties into a neat bow with Scrooge’s story, shows how intense she’s getting at the notion of eventually facing FOWL again. Honestly, I’m not surprised if she’s getting flashbacks of whatever painful or traumatic events happened to her in those Agent 22 days. I mean, for God’s sake, she tells Webby to straight up incapacitate Huey, who was already so scared. Something Webby refuses to agree with as the best course of training methods to better prepare against the greater threat. Beakly’s characterization has always fascinated me with how well she guards her vulnerability, kind of like Goldie in a way, but the difference here is outta great concern for others rather than herself. My mind can’t stop thinking about this scene, as there could most likely be underlying context for why Beakly is getting so worked up over this training. It seems Beakly is carrying a tremendous weight on her shoulders, probably some heavy angst, that it looks like she wants to say, but can’t because of bigger story reasons we’ll find out later in Season 3′s final batch of episodes. Special mention to Donald Duck putting his foot down on Beakly’s very intense training session. Donald knows the trials and errors of what it means to be a parent. He was once very overly protective of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, but learned to let them experience the world for what it is and not hold them back, so I liked how it ties into Beakly’s dilemma of trying to protect Webby from FOWL’s heartless nature.

Beakly’s plot may have not gotten much focus, but it did a very good job setting up more angst to come between her and Webby’s relationship. Things are gonna get very complicated between them when more things come to light. I’m keeping an eye on Huey’s line specifically. When he said, “The one thing we know for sure is that we trust each other, right?”, Beakly did want to bring herself to apologize of course, but I also think she was close to wanting to confess something else to Webby, too. I’m expecting this moment to be called back to when stuff hits the fan with Beakly’s past and whatever Webby’s origins are.

Escape From the Impossibin may have unsettling stuff lurking around the corner with how FOWL managed to distract them with the security system, so they could steal away every missing mystery the family has found so far, but there’s a glimmer of light in all of that darkness. A light that is a reminder of what makes the McDuck family an unstoppable force of trust, hope, and most importantly love. Frank said that things were gonna start going into overdrive with FOWL’s battle against McDuck and he wasn’t kidding around. I’m so overjoyed were getting more episodes in November after this episode finished because that would’ve been a painful wait. Season 3 is gonna start giving things it built up a big pay off and I’m totally here for that!

[verothelilsparkleghost]

Two Best Friends.

Read on AO3

A silly attempt at a one shot for The Seireitei Discord Server Valentines Challenge. 

Prompt: "Did you just kiss me?"

Pairing: ICHIRUKI 🧡💜

Also a TikTok video made me do it xD

Special thanks to @hesesols , @darthrrae and @ariadnekurosaki for putting up with my annoying self 🧡💜🧡 (Thanks x2 to Ari for Beta-ing as well xD)

Summary:

“Two best friends... locked in a room... together and alone...” she said in a sarcastic tone of voice, “they might kiss.”

“Yes, we will.”

“Yes, of course we wi— wait what?”

—————————————————————————-

Oh, she was mad.

In fact, mad was not the correct word to express how fucking angry she was. The next time Rukia got her hands on Renji, he was a dead man.

.

.

.

Earlier today, Rukia had been driving her dark blue Mini Cooper on her way home from University, when she received a call from her friend Renji. He’d practically begged her to come to his old place and help him take some of his stuff to his new place, and Rukia being the great friend she is, agreed after she made him promise that Ichigo would be nowhere in sight, and that he would have to buy dinner for her as well. Renji agreed quickly, and now thinking back, he agreed too quickly. That should’ve been her first clue that something was wrong. But she didn’t pay much attention to it and made her way to Renji’s old place. First mistake in a series of mistakes.

When she got there, she parked her car in the driveway and got out of the car. Rukia made her way up to the door with her phone in hand, typing a reply to a text message she just received from Rangiku.

Rangiku: Are u still not talking to Ichigo?

Rukia: If u r asking this bc of your party, u can invite him. I won’t ruin ur party.

Rangiku: I just don’t want u guys to be uncomfortable.

Rukia: It’s fine, Ran.

Rangiku: K then. But I think you two need to kiss and make up soon ;)

Rukia rolled her eyes at her reply. She knew their friends had gotten caught between her and Ichigo’s fight. They’d been best friends since forever and arguments never lasted more than a couple of hours. But this time was a bit different.

Rukia was so caught up in texting her reply that she didn’t see the familiar motorcycle her best friend owned, poorly hidden by some bushes near the house. As she was about to knock on the door, it opened to reveal Rangiku behind it.

“What the…? Weren’t we just texting each other?” Rukia asked.

“Yes!” she replied, jumping slightly, “I just couldn’t wait to see you in person to send the invite text,” Rangiku explained.

Rukia felt she was acting strange. “Okay…”

“Come in, come in!” Rangiku grabbed Rukia’s arm and pulled her inside the almost empty house.

Renji was standing in the middle of the living room. “Ah Rukia! Thank you for coming, we really need some help… um… packing and moving boxes.”

Rukia looked around. The place was almost empty and only a few boxes remained. And both Renji and Rangiku seemed to be acting a bit odd. “What exactly do you need help with? To me it seems like everything has been packed and moved already,” she said, turning and pointing to the few boxes left.

“Oh well, Ran helped me move some stuff before you got here. All that’s left is in the bedroom,” he said walking down the hallway towards the bedroom. Both Rukia and Rangiku followed after him. Rukia saw him get some keys from his pocket and unlocking the door.

“Why do you have the door locked?” Rukia asked.

“No particular reason,” Renji replied in a hurry.

He opened the door and the first thing Rukia saw was Ichigo sitting on the bed. He was sitting with his elbows on his knees and his orange hair covered some of his face. But when he raised his head, she saw the scowl on his face.

Rukia turned to face Renji and asked “What is he do—" but Rangiku pushed her inside the room before she could finish talking. A yelp left her mouth and she almost fell face first to the floor, managing to catch her balance in time.

“What the hell, Ran?” Rukia asked exuberantly.

Rangiku winked, blew a kiss at her and said, “We can’t stand it anymore, you two need to talk, and it’s happening now.” And with that she closed the door on Rukia’s face. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Rukia heard her say through the door, and a second later she heard the distinctive click of the door being locked from the outside.

“Let me out of here you idiots!” Rukia screamed, pounding on the door repeatedly.

“It’s no use really, unless you want to kick the door down and pay for the damage,” Ichigo informed her, still sitting in the same place and position she saw him a moment ago.

Rukia rolled her eyes and looked at him from over her shoulder. She opened her mouth to say something to him but chose not to and continued pounding on the door. “Renji, you’d better open this door right now!”

Rukia could hear them moving around the hallway and talking to each other; they were clearly ignoring her yelling.

“Ok! We’ve accomplished the mission,” Rukia heard Renji say.

“This was easier than I thought it’d be, and to think no one thought this plan would work,” Rangiku said amusedly.

“Right! Let’s go get some food while these two make up!” Rukia could tell they were walking away. “By the way, I’m taking your car, Rukia.” She could hear the smirk he probably had on his face.

“Oh, please tell me we’re not getting—” Rangiku’s voice faded as they walked away and Rukia didn’t hear well what Rangiku had said but knowing Renji, she knew where he was going.

“Renji!” She hit the door with even more anger. “I swear to God, if my car smells like fried chicken again, I will fucking kill you!” Rukia yelled through the door.

No one replied to her yelling.

And now here she was, trapped in a barely furnished bedroom with her best friend. The same best friend she’d been actively avoiding for the past week because she was mad at him.

Rukia gave up on banging the door and moved towards the window to try and find another way out.

“It’s locked too. I tried that already,” said Ichigo.

Rukia felt her blood boiling. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to calm herself.

“Rukia,” She heard him say behind her.

“Don’t ‘Rukia’ me.” She turned around to face him. He stood up from where he was sitting and was now standing just a couple steps away from her.

“Rukia,” he repeated.

She walked away from him, but he followed her, still keeping a few steps between them. “They are right, we need to talk.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you, I don’t want to talk.” She turned her back on him.

“Fine, I’ll do the talking then,” he said.

“I don’t want to hear your apology, Ichigo. Save it.”

“Good. Because I’m not going to apologize,” he said nonchalantly.

That was the last straw.

Rukia turned around to face him. Ichigo was standing close to her with his hands inside his jacket’s pockets.

She moved closer to him. “You went behind my back.” She poked him in the center of his chest with two fingers to punctuate her words.

“You told Byakuya.” She poked a second time.

“After I told you about it in confidence.” She poked him again.

“And now Byakuya and Hisana are all proud and shit, and I can’t tell them I don’t want to accept it,” she said anxiously. Before she could poke him again, Ichigo grabbed her hand and held it in his. She tried to pull her hand away, but he didn’t let her.

“They needed to know, Rukia.” His voice was soft. Rukia lowered her eyes, looking anywhere else except his eyes. “You got accepted to the most prestigious University in the country and you were going to decline the offer and it’s a great offer,” he said, raising her chin up with one hand. “I’m not about to let you waste this opportunity.”

Reluctantly, her violet eyes met his brown ones. She felt her eyes stinging with unshed tears. But she was not about to let the tears fall.

“I don’t want to go there…” she whispered.

Ichigo searched her face with his eyes, “What are you so afraid of?” he asked.

“I’m not afraid, I just—” Rukia released her chin from his hold and looked away from him.

But Ichigo wouldn’t let her back down. “What, midget?”

She rolled her eyes at his use of the annoying insult and crossed her arms.

“Rukia…” His soft voice made her look at him again. And the look on his face made her answer.

Her eyes watered.

“I just don’t want to leave... my friends and my family… and… you.”

Silence settled between them.

A moment later, a noise outside the bedroom distracted her, maybe Renji and Rangiku were back?

She banged on the door again. “Come on guys, open up, we’re fine now.”

Ichigo stood quietly behind her.

What’s something Renji wouldn’t stand for and would run to open the door?

Mmm…

Oh yes.

This is a good idea.

“Two best friends... locked in a room... together and alone...” she said in a sarcastic tone of voice, “they might kiss.”

“Yes, we will.”

“Yes, of course we wi— wait what?” He grabbed her by her arm and turned her around. Her back now against the door, his body softly pushing her against it.

His face was close to hers and he kept leaning closer.

“What did you say?” she murmured, she felt blood rushing to her cheeks and her heart was pounding in her chest.

“I said yes we will,” he murmured as he lowered his face towards her.

Ichigo stopped a breath away from her lips. He was giving her the chance to push him away and saying no.

Time stood still.

Her eyes traveled from his lips to his eyes repeatedly, but his eyes never left hers.

In an instant, their lips met in a fervent kiss.

If someone asked Rukia who kissed who, she wouldn’t know the answer.

Rukia gasped when she felt his body pressing against hers and his arm wrapped around her waist to pull her even closer. Her own hands were not idle, and before she could even think about it, they travelled from his chest up to his neck. One of her hands caressed his hair and Ichigo let out a throaty sound. Rukia quickly came to the conclusion she liked that sound.

They kissed for a long moment, fighting for control until they ran out of air, and pulled away slowly. One of his hands rested in the back of her head stroking her hair in a comforting way.

She could only focus on how soft his lips had felt.

“Did you just kiss me?” she murmured.

He chuckled. “I think you kissed me,” he teased her with a grin.

“Shut up.” She stood up on her tiptoes and smashed their lips together again in a bruising kiss.

Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her into his arms. Ichigo walked backwards until the edge of the bed hit the back of his knees, and he sat down on the bare mattress with Rukia now on his lap.

She slowly broke away from the kiss, opened her eyes and saw him staring at her with caring eyes. With her hands on either side of his face, she brought him in for another brief kiss.

“What are we doing, Ichigo?” she asked. Her heart was still beating rapidly, and the blush hadn’t left her face.

He hugged her closer to him, “What we should’ve done long ago.”

They were silent for a moment; their breaths were the only sounds to be heard. With their foreheads touching, she closed her eyes. So many emotions were coursing through her veins. Her brain was still processing the fact that her best friend kissed her, or she kissed him… whatever, doesn’t matter who did it, the point was it happened.

But her thoughts got interrupted.

“I got accepted too, you know,” Ichigo informed her.

Her eyes snapped open.

“Why didn’t you tell me, idiot?” she asked, slapping his shoulder several times.

“You’ve been avoiding me for days, midget. Even our friends were annoyed.” He grabbed her hand and held it in his.

“Does that mean… you’re coming with me?” she asked in a timid voice.

“Yes… If you’ll have me.” He brought her hand to his lips and softly kissed it.

Rukia smiled and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

.

.

.

“We’re back!” Renji shouted and opened the door with a bang.

“Yes!” Rangiku clapped and jumped excitedly, “I told you this would work!”

Seeing his two closest friends eating each other’s faces was something he’d need some time getting used to, “Ugh… and right on time for Valentine’s Day too.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

Renji and his love for KFC is something we like to explore in the IchiRuki Secret Basement Discord Server.

Interested? Join us xD