#not to mention social studies; i have no freaking idea what the final exam would be like thanks to my teacher talking abour irrelevant stuf

[seelie-buddy]

Just to notify my moots and followers: I'll probably be like randomly inactive for the next ~12 days

(I have my finals on the 17th, 19th, and 20th; I'll be studying my head off till then...)

[hanibalistic]

GOOD OLD GORYEO | HWANG HYUNJIN

genre | fluff, angst, romance, friendship / time traveling au, historical au, royalty au 

synopsis | opening your eyes after being blinded by the sun and finding out you got teleported back in time is definitely one way to avoid attending classes! but one thing worse than time traveling is having to pretend you came from america.

word count | 24.1k+

warning | minor use of weapons / mentions of old-fashioned, bigoted ideas, mentions of war / not accurate to history  ​

note | i eat oatmeal cookies the way a blind cow eats grass. normally, like every other cow.

parts | one, two

There were times when you regretted not studying for your exams. Clicking away from the practice questions, your professor didn’t need to spend the time and effort to make because you knew it wouldn’t be the same as the actual exam anyway, you were always more interested in something else. An obviously staged social experiment, a play-through of a game you have to watch through the gaps of your timid fingers, and even a video of a random guy on the internet teaching you how to pick a lock. Anything that didn’t involve what you chose to learn was good enough. 

However, those moments happened less after you entered college than when you were still in high school. You could barely remember how your teacher’s magnified voice echoed through a small classroom, bringing the three dreadful words ‘five minutes left.’ And you were never sure whether it was the sudden emergence of a timed threat in a soundless classroom that always startled you or that you always had an incredible amount of questions marked unanswered on your exam that scared you the most. 

Those were times when you regretted not studying for your tests, and there were times when you didn’t when you were glad you caved into distraction and allowed yourself the opportunity to learn some life skills.

That time was right now.

“Okay, you got this,” you whispered, rubbing your fingertips across the body of the bobby pins in your hand. Giving the outside of the tight-spaced jail cell a quick glance, making sure the guards who dragged you here weren't paying you any attention, you reached your hand out between jail bars and cranked your wrist to reach the rusty lock. 

To provide context, which you weren’t so sure of either, you might have time-traveled. That was a far-fetched assumption but the only reasonable assumption you could think of. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been enough time for you to gather any facts or recall the sequence of events that led up to your current position, which was in the chambers of a palace. 

What you could immediately remember was that (a) when you left home for school, you got startled by a crow taking off and accidentally met eyes with the rising sun, (b) you bumped your head against a utility pole because you were busy recovering from looking directly at the sun, and (c) when you opened your eyes again, you were in the middle of a throne room where a meeting was being held. 

You likely would have been executed if not for the fascination of palace officials with your unique attire. You overslept this morning, but since you knew the commute tended to be smoother than in the afternoon, you could take your time preparing for your early morning class. Regardless, the only thing you prepared for was what you needed for classes and spending a full day at the library. The outfit you haphazardly threw on was as simple as a cozy sweater and a pair of pants, but they were unique enough for people from centuries ago.  

A shiver finally ran down your spine. Took your body long enough to react to the situation! You should be freaked out about the very realistic—for your current situation—possibility of time traveling and being stuck in an era where the royal status meant everything, especially with all the bad reputation history classes and historical dramas have given these eras. At the very least, picking a lock should be the last thing you should remember!

But you’ve read and watched enough of such scenarios to deduce that if you do die, the worst-case scenario is that you feel some pain. Then, you would wake up on a hospital bed or somewhere in the street. Your worst-case scenario was being sent home, which should be your priority. Still, the thought of death was unnerving, so you doubted you would be looking for it anytime soon. 

“Gotcha!” you hissed out joyfully after a good ten minutes of digging around the inner structure of the lock with two tiny pins you never remembered to return to your friend after she took them off her head to redo her hair. 

The lock fell open. You pressed your face close to the bars to peek outside. When it felt the coast was clear, you carefully removed the lock from the door, placing it on the floor and scooting over to the back of the cell. You grabbed your schoolbag from the floor and shoved the bobby pins inside the smaller pocket where you found them.

As you were about to zip your bag up, you tore your gaze away from the chamber halls to the inside of your bag. Your eyes landed on a device fit between your lunch and textbooks.

You hummed as you examined the Taser in your hand. Your friend had gotten a duo pack for cheaper after they got accepted into an internship program that required them to work late. They gifted it to you for safety reasons, knowing you’ve got late-night classes one day of the week.

You never thought you’d use it; the campus at night was generally safe, and the walk from the bus stop to your apartment wasn’t long enough to garner any paranoia. Still, it was good that you didn’t fight them on receiving it. 

It was ironic that you’ve never had to use the Taser for its assumed situations, but this was an extenuating circumstance, a peculiar emergency. A Taser would come in handy. Shoving it in your pants pocket, you put on your school bag and approached the gate. Thoroughly checking the chamber hall, you slowly slid open the creaking door, cursing at the rough metal feeling on your hands that was undoubtedly going to leave a sickening smell. Successfully slipping out of the jail cell, you went down to where you got dragged from. 

The giddy feeling of your escape didn’t last long when the sight of two guards loomed over the shadow of the exit. Palming over the Taser through your pants, you pursed your lips at the disdainful idea that you might have to use it at any mildly inconvenient moment, which would surely use up its cartridges. You cursed at the unfavorable outcome, dumbly looking around your area to see if there was any spare weapon for you to use.

No spears and no shields. You only have the electric gun, sharp stationery, heavyweight textbooks, portable charging cord, and two durable devices. 

You glanced at the guards again and sighed. The best chance may be to knock out one of them and bolt. Trying to fight two guards with nothing but adrenaline-filled instincts was far too risky. Leaving your Taser alone, you reached behind for your schoolbag and hastily unzipped it. Your hands fumbled about, finally grabbing the long, thick charging cord. You didn’t bother to zip your bag up as you carefully held onto both ends of the cable, stretching them as much as your arms allowed. 

With silent encouragements, you slowly inched your way towards the guard on the right. Then, acting the quickest you have ever been, you stood on your toes to ensure you got the cord around his head and lowered it to his neck. Instead of focusing on choking the guard, once you realize that his partner took notice of you, you yanked his body toward his partner and made them stumble into the wall.

Your desperate attempt has worked! Adrenaline pumped through your veins as you released the guard. You immediately jumped over his legs and planned to bolt out of the chamber when you noticed a man standing by the entrance. 

You widened your eyes as you accessed him briefly. His long hair flowed past his shoulders, with parts of his hair tied into a topknot ponytail. Without any knowledge of the current dynasty’s clothing hierarchy, you couldn’t tell what his attire represented—mainly whether he was royalty.

In your opinion, though, he wasn’t flashy enough to be someone of high status. He also didn’t appear threatening. His features were gentle and handsome. He seemed an unlikely trouble.

Your eyes twitched. You weren’t sure what to do next. You didn’t want to make any mistakes based on invalid, shallow assumptions. After all, you couldn’t tell the Queen was the traitor until the season’s finale, and television shows already give you the most blatant foreshadows.

Hyunjin mirrored your expression of wide and bewildered eyes. His lips tucked down into a frown, pursed together tightly in shock from witnessing what you did to the guards. It took him a few moments to process the scene. Afterward, he looked at you fully to access you like you did him. Your clothing was of a very unfamiliar style; your shoes were made of leather, but he couldn’t make out what those loopy strings were. The dull-colored bag you wore was something he’d never seen before. 

Oh, and you just made a fool of two trained prison guards as a mere peasant. 

Hyunjin breathed in gently. Peasant wouldn’t be the right word, would it? After the court meeting, he’s heard people talk about you around the palace. He was not there to witness your abrupt arrival, but from all that he had gathered, you didn’t sound like—you didn’t look like!—someone from around this place.

“I mean no harm.” You slowly held up your hands in surrender as you inched sideways away from the chamber exit, away from him. “Just let me walk away from here. Please.”

Hyunjin’s eyes trailed along your snail-like movements. You wanted to leave, he understood that. Fortunately, he was partly on the same page as you, too. Not only has he no plans to engage in a fight, especially knowing that you’ve got a weapon at your disposal, but he frankly saw injustice in your sentencing. Nobody was harmed upon your arrival. Throwing you in the chambers and making you knock down two guards was the palace’s fault. They forced your hand. However, looking past you at the guards, who were beginning to regain their composure, he realized your time had run out.

His silence was questionable, but you took his motionless figure as a sign of freedom. Gulping a knot down your throat, you stumbled at his persistent stare. Chalking it up to immense curiosity and a possible lack of manners, you tried to shake off his gaze as you turned your head to face forward.

In front of you was an empty courtyard, likely at the very back of the palace for the prison chambers and more walls you might have to climb over. Sweat began gathering at your armpits and head—you could barely run a mile, let alone climb a wall. 

Fully turning around, you gave yourself some time to collect your thoughts before you started to breeze away from the chamber. Your mind was so occupied with organizing your thoughts that you didn’t notice the two guards you pushed into the wall stomping towards your way.

Hyunjin’s jaw dropped slightly when they ignored his presence, likely due to prioritizing the rules of the palace to catch all prisoners and disrespecting his low rank. But, realizing you were in trouble, he quickly pulled himself together and marched toward you.

You jumped when you felt a hand on your shoulder, anxiously looking up to find the man standing closely beside you. Your brows furrowed as you exclaimed, “I thought you were letting me go!”

“Hello, guards,” Hyunjin greeted, promptly ignoring you. 

He turned to the armored men with a polite smile plastered on his face. Then he motioned towards them with a quick nod as they both bowed their heads down, a response drastically different than what they did a second ago. His chest churned at the sight. It wasn’t easy to disregard his status when it was a direct confrontation. He wasn’t all that big on a royalty’s power struggle, but it sure could come in handy no matter how little of it he owned. 

“Good morning, Your Highness,” one of the guards greeted loudly.

You glanced away from the two guards to process what he said. Your Highness. Your Highness. Saying it slower in your head didn’t conjure any more understanding than when he first said it. Your Highness—you snapped your head up at the man who has you by the shoulder, your eyes wide in awe.

He paid no attention to you, his focus entirely on dealing with the two guards adamant about recapturing you. No way! You didn’t address him properly, and he witnessed you escape the chambers. But, now that you took a better look at him, he’s quite princely! 

“What the fuck,” you hissed under your breath. “Which one are you?”

Hyunjin flashed you a questioning glance and paused when he noticed your darting eyes. You were clearly anxious, and he wouldn’t understand why beyond the fact that you’ve been involved in palace matters as a commoner. Still, he made an attempt to calm you down by giving your shoulder a loose squeeze of reassurance. 

“Your Highness, why are you with the prisoner? Are they attempting to attack you?”

You instinctively stood behind Hyunjin when the men raised their spears as if ready to engage in a fight. You grimaced with a timid glare, wanting so bad to tell them off, but knowing you were at a disadvantage here, you chose to let him handle the matter.

He briefly licked his lower lip, finding the trust you put in him demanding but glorious. Nobody has depended on him for anything because of how little say he has as a prince compared to his brothers, courtesy to his mother’s old age and infertility that, for once, his fortunate good looks couldn’t overshadow.

“You saw me walk toward them. Clearly, they weren’t trying to attack me,” Hyunjin pointed out with a deadpan. These people would say anything with no qualms or reason. 

“Then I must request that you hand them over to us.”

“About that–“ Hyunjin paused. He hadn’t thought of any excuse before his instincts to help took over him. Knowing the guards, they would bother him to his wit’s end about keeping you in the dungeon unless he said something they could not refute, and the only thing he knew that no man in the palace could turn down was his father, The king. “They are a distant cousin of mine.” 

You slowly arched your head up to frown at him. 

“I forgot they are to stay at the palace with me temporarily to visit my family after their travel. It was my mistake that their return slipped my mind,” he continued without sparing you a glance. “I have come to retrieve them from the chambers.”

You pursed your lips together as the guards lowered their weapons. The situation and Hyunjin’s excuse were no longer ridiculous but amusing. It was a horrible lie. Besides its implausibility, it could potentially damage your impression of the intellectual level of people born in this era or tarnish your image of Hyunjin, given that his forgetting a family member was believable.

“We need to inform your father about this, Your Highness. We have been appointed to keep an eye on them especially.” 

One of the guards nodded towards you, making you step behind the prince. But still, you peeked a head over his shoulder with a frown, and you sneered at the guards. Leaning closer to the back of his neck, you huffed quietly, “Seriously, am I that threatening, or is your dad a scaredy-cat?”

Hyunjin widened his eyes as he briefly whipped around to stare at you. Name-calling a king was a serious offense, although it served no real repercussions. Everyone knew not to talk ill of his father on palace grounds, so to hear you do so in public jolted his heart with immeasurable panic.

Thankfully, the guards didn’t seem to have heard you, as their faces remained rigid. Not that it would’ve mattered if they did, considering any accusations against you could be deflected easily by a simple lie from him.

He furrowed his brows. His readiness to shield you, a stranger from nowhere, from the wrath of the palace court surprised him. 

“If they are to be released, we must inform His Majesty as according to his order, Your Highness.”

No matter how open-minded you were, certain things were just unnecessary. You would have done so if you wanted to attack anyone in the palace. Not to mention how problematic it was to lock a person up out of suspicion simply for being out of the ordinary, wearing unfamiliar clothing, or having new gadgets. You rolled your eyes, and then you sighed in defeat. Bring a modern mindset to old times only worked in movies. Trying to defy royalty in old-town Korea would get you nothing more than a death sentence, even with a prince on your side. 

But, above all else, you needed freedom to explore ways to return home, so you figured your best bet was to comply. 

“Take me to see the king, then.” Stepping out from behind Hyunjin, you crossed your arms. “We were going to see him anyway. You get to inform him of our relationship and I get to prove my innocence.” 

“Wait, hold on–“ Hyunjin turned you around by your shoulders, squeezing you as if to jolt you from delusion. 

His plan was never to take you to see his father and clear your name. He wanted to remove the guards, bring you to an exit, and let you leave. Once you were gone, it was his words against the guards. If he claimed that he had never seen you before, the fault of your escape would bounce back to them. Both of you would get off scot-free. Your bold request to meet his father wasn’t helpful. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered through closed teeth as he stared wide-eyed at you. He wasn’t menacing, only concerned and fearful. 

You furrowed your brows at his aggression, only able to glance at his grip on your shoulders. Returning from your shrunken state caused by Hyunjin’s abrupt touch, you relaxed your joints and your annoyed brows to stand up to him. “Do you know what I’m talking about?”

On second thought, parading as Hyunjin’s cousin and establishing a relationship with royalty may be the superior way to get out of the palace. All you have to do is lie in the royal court, which you were good at. After that, you could stay in the palace for a few days and leave because it was time for you to return home. You didn’t think the prince thought of all this when he spilled the deception, but it worked out in your favor!

“A death wish is what you have,” he continued to mutter once he got closer to you. 

“You were the one who suggested that I become your cousin.”

“To get the guards off our backs!”

“I thought so,” you nodded, “and I say we play the role.”

Your eyes were unwavering, unlike his, but more importantly, they met his. You spoke and thought like someone unknown to the court’s cruelty and the king’s almighty status. He loosened his grip as he again remembered you were not from this place. You were something, somewhere new. Something, somewhere better than here. Hyunjin softened; now wasn’t the time to yearn for a greater unknown. 

“If anyone finds out we lied to His Majesty, both of us will be punished,” he whispered. 

Your lips quirked downward. “The king is your father.” 

“I am not his favorite son.”

He was sure of it. It came out with such ease that it pained you.

“Then there should be no grievances in keeping a lie,” you said after a moment paused. “He knew nothing of you, so he wouldn’t know me. This is the perfect lie.” 

You looked less determined, but he thought it wasn’t because you feared what could happen. It was because of what he said about his father. Despite your faltered resolve, you were the one to search for his doubtful eyes, and to think he was the one who stepped up to save you from trouble. 

“How do you propose we do this then, stranger?” 

“You can start by calling me [Name],” you said. “And your name is?”

“Oh,” he paused in uncertainty to fight the knot in his throat, “Hwang Hyunjin.”

You couldn’t recall reading about him in textbooks. 

You liked to pride yourself in lying well, and you wanted to believe you were pretty good at improvising. Despite your occasional jittery demeanor, when push came to shove, you stood your ground well. That superhuman reaction didn’t apply to daily events, such as socializing with others and being confronted in class. But, in the moment of being stared down by a pair of curious yet condescending eyes, you realize you’ve never known genuine fear until now. 

Your classmates were never going to kill you, but The king might. 

Sweaty hands curled behind your back, you nibbled the inside of your lower lip, the fleshy region between your lip and your chin, and allowed your eyes to roam the courtroom without turning your head. After the initial awe of seeing The king in real life, you marveled at the fact that he looked nothing like the pictures (if you remembered the correct king). Then you found out you were less afraid of him than you were amused.

You could barely recall anything about history, but you still knew more of him than he of you. That should give you an advantage. 

The palace court wasn’t big, but it was grand. It was similar to one of your school’s lecture halls, but instead of dull desks and chairs, it was decorated from top to bottom red and gold—the color of prosperity and wealth respectively, even though it only looked tacky and old-fashioned to you.

“My fifth son.”

You glanced at Hyunjin as he bowed with his hands behind him to greet his father. The newly found information entered your head and returned with nothing of importance. 

A King’s fifth son didn’t sound outstanding, and Hyunjin probably wasn’t, considering your inability to recall ever hearing his name. Although, to be fair, when he gave you a brief rundown on his immediate family members, you couldn’t remember learning any of his brother’s names either. The only person you knew was his father. Unfortunately, the memories of history his father jolted in you were limited.

As for the long history of Goguryeo, that was something you’ve mostly forgotten since last semester when you took one history class for your general education requirement. Your best bet now was to hope you didn’t bother to delete the pirated textbook, class notes, and assignments from your tablet. 

Besides the interior of the room, sitting off to the side were the king’s seven sons. You could only throw a glance at them to avoid raising suspicion, which wasn’t enough to gauge how many of them were good candidates to appeal to if this plan failed. 

Glancing to the side during his bow, Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed when he found you staring aimlessly at the man on the throne, the unintentional pout on your face thoughtful yet nonchalant.

Muttering a panicked curse, he reached to tug at your arm without looking up. You were brought down by surprise and then riddled with disbelief when you were met with an identical glare.

“What is your problem?” you hissed.

“You need to bow!” he returned hastily through barely opened lips. “Also, keep it down!”

“Worrywart,” you muttered with an eye-roll. 

Hyunjin ignored you as he straightened himself. He wasn’t too worried about his brothers’ opinion of you or whether they would figure out he was lying. Despite their mothers’ dishonorable relationships with one another, marked by the need to please the king as a means to give their sons only the greatest, he and his brothers were as tight as a clove hitch. They wouldn’t vocalize their concerns in the courtroom until further discussion.

Besides, as his eyes darted between his father and his brothers, he realized they were all accessing you with curiosity and wariness. 

He exhaled and kept his breath in his throat. This was no time to be afraid, no time for him to let his emotion waver. Hyunjin thought you were threatening, courtesy to your unfamiliar gadgets, but he thought you were reasonable. You wouldn't do anything drastic if no one attempted to attack you. All he needed to do was to lie about your identity and his ties to you. No other harm would come out of those lies aside from them being untruthful, like a moral bankruptcy. 

The king breathed in deeply and curled his fists on his knee. He spoke with an authoritative voice, much like any distressed father. “Explain to me what you think you are doing.”

Hyunjin cleared his throat. His nervousness dripped through his tentative movements as he stepped forward without meeting his father’s eyes. His hands were raging with sweat, and he politely held them before his abdomen.

“There is a misunderstanding, Your Majesty. [Name] is a distant cousin of mine who is stopping by to visit me.”

The king sized you up from the comfort of his throne, then asked, “What is their relation to you?”

“First cousin once removed, Your Majesty.”

“How have I not met them before?”

Hyunjin tensed up next to you, his breath hitching in his throat and his hands fumbling with themselves as he tried his best not to glance nervously to your side. He thought that pulled you far enough away on the family tree to knock down any suspicion. That should be distant enough for his father to brush off this fake relationship! He wasn’t sure why his father would ask such a question when the king barely interacted with his cousins.

He couldn’t say that, though. That would be a mockery of his fatherhood.

The ball of anxiousness continued to bounce around in his head when you, after a short period of contemplation, stood up and looked at the king’s general direction. With your chest out, shoulders back, and hand gestures that clearly were here to help you feign nonchalance, you replied for Hyunjin, “It’s because I travel a lot.”

Your voice fell flat, and the room stood still in waiting. Eyes shaking from left to right, you briefly witnessed the gravely anticipating faces of Hyunjin’s brothers sitting on the side. You recognized that kind of expression. You’ve seen it on your classmates when you were standing like a brick at your desk while the teacher stared at you for the answer to a question on the board. You’ve made the same face before. It was the face of someone who knew you were in trouble, who knew how to get you out of it and was hoping telepathically that their frown would be a hint.

“What?” you muttered under your breath. “Was I not supposed to answer?”

Hyunjin pursed his lips into a frown as he discreetly stepped toward you. “He wasn’t asking you, was he?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry?” you mocked, then glared. “I thought we were having a conversation.” 

“Nobody walking on palace grounds can ever just have a conversation with His Majesty,” he hissed with daggers in his eyes. “You should know that much!” 

“Well, color me surprised!” you slurred, your mocking tone unfading. Then, you gritted your teeth and hissed in return, “That sounds like a shit life!”

“Silence!” It could be the echos of this spacious room, but perhaps having a voice that matched the volume of a boombox was naturally programmed into a leader. The king stared you and Hyunjin down. “You dare dismiss my presence in the royal court?” 

“No, Your Majesty! I beg you for forgiveness!” Hyunjin immediately went down on his knees into a bow before he stood up. Hastily, but never forgetting to avoid meeting his father’s eyes, he said, “My dear cousin is an avid traveler! They have traveled far and wide to lands I have never heard of! They learn of traditions and customs of so many foreign places that, at times, they forget their own.”

Your eye twitched in disagreement. It's not that his cover story wasn’t helpful; you merely found a bone to pick because he regarded his father’s dictatorship-like attitude as an aspect of tradition. You were no stranger to outdated traditional values, but that didn’t mean you ever accepted them. However, for the sake of your survival in this dynasty, at least before you figure out a peaceful way to return to the modern days, you complied. 

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” you said politely with a bow you figured would be sufficient in the context of Hyunjin’s excuse. 

When you looked up, you awkwardly averted your gaze. You looked to the side of the king’s head but then carefully inched it back to make complete eye contact with him. You pursed your lips; a good king does not thrive when feared. Given that the kingdom hasn’t collapsed or wasn’t in the process, that should account for something. You might not have to be as afraid of him as Hyunjin asked you to be. 

“I mean no disrespect when I look at you, Your Majesty,” you explained. “I just returned from traveling somewhere far away. The people there consider a lack of eye contact impolite when speaking to others. It shows that the listener is not paying attention to you.”

“Whether they pay attention or not can also be proven with questions. If you are not paying attention, you cannot answer my questions. Eye contact is not necessary in such scenarios.”

“That is fair, but would you?” you asked, tilting your head. 

“Your time is precious, Your Majesty, as are your thoughts and the words you use to communicate them. I doubt that you have time to have leisure conversations, meaning that everything you say is an important detail needed to uplift the kingdom, which you are responsible for.

"Would you want to sit at your throne and ask, one by one, every day, all of your subordinates if they considered your words? Or would you rather know through something as trivial as a pair of eyes that they understand you?”

Hyunjin muttered prayers under his breath. He wasn’t sure if his heart could take any more of this emotional rollercoaster. After your dramatic speech, which was nothing but a bunch of crap put together on the spot, you discreetly exhaled and stepped closer to Hyunjin. You were surprised you managed to improvise so many words without stuttering once.

The prince cleared his throat. He dared not look at his father when he spoke, “Please believe in me, Your Majesty. They are a distant cousin of mine, and they have paused traveling to visit my family for a while. They will not be staying for a long time.”

The king stared at you both stoically before opening his mouth to speak. His voice remained loud and robust, but you could hear the lessening of alertness. He looked directly at you, initiating eye contact, and the corner of his lips quirked up in amusement, “I am curious. Where did you travel to?”

You hummed. Saying ‘Korea’ might be suspicious, as it was derived from ‘Goguryeo,’ but your mind blanked out all the names on a map as soon as you were asked the question. 

“I traveled to–uhm–“ you slammed a fist to your palm–“America! Yeah, oh, good lord–“ you chuckled in relief–“the melting pot of cultures!”

Hyunjin pulled a face at your spontaneous behavior. 

“It is an interesting place,” you said. “I would tell you all about it, Your Majesty, but I am beat! If you remember, kindly, I was thrown in a chamber.” 

“For less than an hour,” Hyunjin quickly added for damage control as he circled his arm around yours. 

You rolled your eyes with a scoff. You left out the fact that his father wrongfully threw you in prison but supposed that wasn’t cautious enough for him. “As if you people can accurately tell time.”

“Stop talking. Please,” he whispered before returning to his father. “If we could please be excused, Your Majesty. I believe my cousin should take a rest.”

The king sighed. For the first time, he had the demeanor of an exhausted father. Giving you two a wave of his hand, he dismissed you and everyone else in the royal court. Hyunjin felt his shoulders relax, and with a hasty display of gratitude, he tightened his arm around yours and dragged you to the doors. 

The palace was huge. Bigger than your college campus, you wagered, but you’ve also never gone to all corners of your school so you didn’t know how big your school really was. You let Hyunjin drag you across the place, passing courtyards, stone pond bridges, and magnificent buildings until he stopped by an arch entrance. Inside was a building similar to those you’ve passed; you assumed this was his home inside the palace. 

“That was unacceptable! You almost cost us our lives!” he said the second he turned around from slamming his room door shut. 

You peeked over his shoulder at those thin doors. There were no glass windows at this time; to make up for that, people either went outside for air or used paper-thin materials to cover circular holes in buildings so air could easily travel through. If there were any conclusions you could draw from that, it’s that nowhere around here was reliably soundproof besides distance and a hushed tone. 

“They’re not waiting outside, are they?” you muttered. When you were responded with silence, you looked away from the door and turned to Hyunjin. “I need to make sense of something, and I can’t have anyone listening in. Your subordinates cannot be standing outside the door.”

“They’re not going to eavesdrop on us,” he chuckled lowly in disbelief. 

“It’s not eavesdropping, it’s listening,” you clarified. “People with ears cannot help but hear their surroundings.”

Hyunjin shook his head with a forced smile. “What can you possibly say that only I can know of?” 

“You’ll know once you make them leave,” you said, mirroring his smile with intention. 

“They’re not outside. I had them run some errands for me,” he said as he pulled a chair from under his desk. He plopped down on it and gestured for you to speak. “Now, what do you have to ask me?”

You eyed him suspiciously, but you relaxed once you settled with the fact that he has nothing to gain and everything to lose out of sabotaging you. Unloading your bag from your shoulder, you dropped it on the round table, forcing Hyunjin to make space for you.

Immediately, you pulled out your tablet and carelessly pulled another chair from under with your feet. Hyunjin clicked his tongue when you sat down without paying attention, his hands flying up in the air in case you fell.

“First question,” you said, “this is Goguryeo, right? You weren’t messing with me.”

Hyunjin nodded, his head moving as if he was stuttering. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Does Silla still exist?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Your father is King Taejo?” 

“You just met him!” he exclaimed, leaning closer to look at the device you held. “What is this?”

“Forgive me for being meticulous. I needed to make sure,” you said mindlessly as you powered on your tablet. 

There was much you had to do. 

First, you needed to brush up on the historical events of Goguryeo, which would require that your history textbook from last semester was still in your downloads folder. You prayed that it was. It was vital that you understood where you were in history so you wouldn’t run ahead and reveal something you should not. 

Second, you’ve got to figure out how you got here. Your plan so far was to carefully jot down what happened to you in the morning and check if anything was out of the ordinary. In terms of playing the confusing game of time traveling, you have a few tricks up your sleeves. Death may not be the only solution.

Third, which you need to do in case you fail at the second point—pick your allies and establish your enemies. Word has it that palace life was complicated. It sounded no more severe than a hardcore version of high school, only instead of the collapse of social status that would last about four years of your life, you would be met with public execution.

To survive the mouse traps and backstabbers, you needed to befriend those you knew succeeded and shun those who were wicked. 

Hyunjin should be in the clear for now. 

Gradually scooting uncomfortably close to you, the prince faintly leaned back in surprise when your tablet fully powered on and displayed your lock screen. His movement startled you, causing you to snap your head in his direction. When you found out how close his face was, you clicked your tongue and leaned away, brows furrowing and lips pulling into a frown. 

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“What is this?” Hyunjin asked, eyes trailing at the pixelated cartoon scenery of your lock screen. 

“Oh, this–“ 

You cut yourself off quickly with a thoughtful pause. You were so absorbed in jotting down a mental to-do list that you forgot the technological state, or the lack thereof, in the Goguryeo dynasty. Hyunjin’s intrigue was expected and blameless; even people back in your time were probably surprised when such technological advancement first came out. Pursing your lips, you closed the distance between you two and moved your device closer for him.

“This is a tablet,” you responded, then sighed. That wouldn’t answer his question. He has no concept of a tablet. Clicking your password to bring up your home page, you added, “It’s a digital–“ he wouldn’t know what that meant either–“Um, it’s basically a library you can carry with you.”

He marveled in disbelief. “This has books in it?”

“Yes, and it has many other things,” you said. “It has games. It has canvases and paint,” you flipped aimlessly from page to page, “it has papers and pens. It has instruments. It has all kinds of things!”

He glanced down at the screen. “That’s not possible.”

“You don’t have to believe me,” you mused with a shrug. 

“No! I do believe you!” Hyunjin exclaimed as he shot up straight. He blinked in the face of your confusion, likely regarding his sudden outburst, and then his shoulders slumped with calmness. His voice was more regulated, away from excitement, when he asked, “You aren’t from here, right? I wasn’t wrong about that?”

“No, you’re right. I’m not from here.” You shook your head without looking at him. The sweat gathering at your palm from anxiousness would have traveled to your fingers if he wasn’t distracting you from checking your download folder. 

“Are you from that place?” He rolled his eyes up. “Um, what is it again? America?”

“Oh, sure,” you mumbled halfheartedly. 

Your textbook was long gone, but you still have the essays you’ve written for the class. Some of the outside readings your professor assigned the class were also around, but you doubted they would be of much help, considering most of them were modern critiques of ancient history rather than detailed recordings of events.

Hyunjin noticed your shoulders slump in an attempt to heave a disappointed sigh, and he frowned. 

He was entirely in the dark regarding your situation. The only thing he knew now was that you weren’t home, and wherever you came from was different than Goguryeo. Your fear for your survivability was innocently mistaken as homesickness. But, truthfully, Hyunjin wasn’t all wrong. You’ve been too busy to think about home, but once your surroundings quiet down, you will undoubtedly begin to miss everything.

“Hey,” he started softly, tapping your forearm. When you turned to him, he asked, “Can I touch it?”

You raised your brows in amusement. “Sure.”

It was quickly known that Hyunjin had no idea what to do with your tablet. He swiped his finger across the screen carefully, flipping through the pages like you did, but that was about all he knew to do. The colorful buttons on the screen meant nothing to him. They were not applications that brought him elsewhere in the small device. His ignorance cannot be helped. It was endearing. It reminded you of a child testing out a smartphone for the first time or an elderly unable to comprehend a computer's functions. 

“Let me show you something cool,” you said as you adjusted the tablet closer to you. “This is a camera.”

“A camera?”

“You have portraits of yourself painted, right?” you asked, looking up at him.

Hyunjin nodded. “Yes, but only once. Only my father had it done more than once.”

“This is almost the same thing,” you said, perching your tablet and flipping to the front camera. 

Hyunjin tilted his head, but when he saw a reflection of himself on the screen, he widened his eyes. You angled the camera to try and fit both of you in the frame and then pressed a button to pan out the lenses. He jolted in surprise at the movement; what he initially thought was a spotless mirror turned out to not be a mirror at all.

You laughed as you brushed your hair with your hand briefly, then you reached over to his face and tucked his long hair behind his hair. He gasped inwardly, his shoulders hunching up in surprise at your gentle movement.  

“Okay, hold still and smile!” you mused, bumping the side of your head against this.

You quickly took several screenshots of the video recording, not giving Hyunjin any chances to prepare or pose. It took Hyunjin the fourth picture to finally smile up at the camera; the ones before were simply of him displaying complete confusion towards the idea of capturing a still image. Smiling down at the screen as you swiped the pictures, your brows slowly furrowed as your fingers moved across your screen in a back-and-forth motion several times.

A thoughtful hum fell from your lips. You zoomed onto him in one of the pictures and leaned back to get a better look, then you turned to him in real life, doing a mental compare and contrast. Your head went back and forth, eyes shifting from the picture to him, and your brows slowly relaxed as your face morphed with approval.

Hyunjin was unexpectedly good-looking, to the point you wanted to beat yourself up for realizing it just now. Although clearly, your expectations of ancient people have been skewed by hyper-realistic portraits of them that were drawn in the past. His hairstyle and his clothes were not to your taste, but his eyes were soft, his brows were shaped the way people have to achieve with makeup, and his lips were pink and full.

You thought if he cut his hair and wore something casual, he would fit in with people of your time without a hitch. 

“No way,” you muttered under your breath before moving the hair that flails about the side of his face and sliding your hand under his side bangs. You nodded then, not even trying to hide that you were checking him out. “You would look good in a headband.”

Hyunjin felt uncontrollable heat creep up his cheeks upon your careless action. Touching his face and his hair as if you were married. He figured this must be normal where you came from, but it wasn’t how a relationship works in Goguryeo! Never mind him being a royalty, even though you’ve made it clear that wasn’t your concern. But he was too tensed up to pull himself away from your touch. This was new to him, and he wasn’t sure how to react.

“Hey, [Name],” he started, trying to divert your attention elsewhere. “How did you get here? Rumor has it that you suddenly appeared in the palace court.”

Your hand discreetly returned to your side. That was a million-dollar question. “I don’t know either.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin stared at you in disbelief before he shrugged. “That’s okay! It doesn’t matter anymore. The point is that you want to go home!” 

“I am also figuring that out, too,” you sighed.

You remembered what happened before being spawned several years back, possibly in the most unfortunate location ever. You were heading to school and did your morning routine precisely as you’ve always done it. The only addition to that was you running into something and being forced to glance up at the blinding sun, which then caused you to lose your sight for a few seconds and your ears to muffle as if someone shot a rifle next to your face. You could recall everything, but that was it. There weren’t any connections for you to make to determine the trigger.

Hyunjin pouted when you shrugged, shaking your head with a tired hum. He wasn’t sure what you were worried about, but he wanted to help. “I can arrange a carriage for you if it’s far away. You can have a few escorts to be safe.”

“That’s not the problem, Hyunjin,” you said. 

“What is?” he asked, trying to meet your eyes.

It became clear that the issue wasn’t telling him the truth but whether he would believe it and how you could begin proving that you weren’t lying. 

“It’s not about where I’m from,” you said. “I’m not from this dynasty. My home won’t exist until a long time after Goguryeo."

“Oh no! You can’t say that here,” he whispered urgently, waving his hand at you with wide eyes. “That implies the death of the king. Those implications aren’t allowed anywhere in the kingdom!”

You frowned, a snort leaking through your nose despite your attempt to suppress it. “He is going to die regardless of what we say or don’t say. No one can live forever, Hyunjin. You should know that much.”

Hyunjin pursed his lips together, his shoulders slumping in defeat, when he finally concluded that you won’t be following the rules here as he wished you would. You had already disrespected the king enough to get yourself a trip back in the chambers with several bruises on your back! It was a miracle that you left the courtroom safe and sound.

He wasn’t as uptight about how you treated him. It was like an old friend, as if you were equal. If anything, he liked the casualness and agency. You chose to speak and act the way you do regardless of his status; you were in complete control of yourself.��He admired it. He wanted to be as free as you. But that didn’t stop him from being afraid of what could happen to you if you cross the line. He wouldn’t be able to save you then.

Pushing his thoughts aside, Hyunjin pointed towards your side and asked something more light-hearted. “What are you going to do then? How will you go home?”

“Like I said, I’m figuring it out,” you sighed, closing your eyes in thought. “I just hope I won’t have to stay for too long. I can’t stand it here.” 

He pressed his lips together. “It isn’t that bad here.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve been here your whole life. You’re already used to this lifestyle.” You gestured around his dull room, at the bed without a mattress and the ceiling without lights. Pulling your lips downward, you hushed out a whimper, “Ugh, I wanna go online.”

Hyunjin fought back a grimace when he saw your defeated state. This felt like a stab to the heart. His home was all he’d known; despite the palace politics, he loved every aspect of it. He loved the outdoors, neighborhood, music, festivals, and food. It was, nevertheless, true that he has never been exposed to anything better than what he currently has.

Being told that your world was so much better to the point that being stuck in Goguryeo was unfortunate enough to bring tears was saddening. 

He looked away at the far concrete wall, clearing his throat. “Look, Goguryeo isn’t that bad.”

You peeked at him. “Are you consoling me?”

“Yes, and myself,” he said. “I am also offering you an alternative view of my home.”

You pouted after huffing a chuckle. Perhaps you’ve been unknowingly harsh by focusing only on the loss, not the gain. However, you didn’t gain much besides having Hyunjin as a friend. Closing your tablet, you leaned your head on the table and exhaled to calm your nerves.

Hyunjin remained silent next to you, his presence tranquil and almost unnoticeable. If it wasn’t for his extravagant clothing, which forced you to feel his presence, you would have thought you were alone with your eyes closed. 

“Thank you for saving me,” you muttered.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied, staring off into a distance. “If it wasn’t me, one of my brothers would have helped you. Or someone out there would have done something for you. It must be hard to be so far away from home.”

You chuckled under your breath, nodding wordlessly instead of choosing to answer with your voice. This silent peace was something you didn’t want to disrupt. It gave you a chance to clear your head and to rest. It was what you needed after putting on a front and pushing aside the reality that had set itself before your eyes.

Hyunjin picked at his fingers as he looked down at you. He could take a good look at you near the chamber entrance, and he knew he wasn’t mistaken that you were pretty in unfamiliar ways. Your attire, your hairdo, and the way you carry yourself—he’s got an explanation for that now, but the truth remained: you’re pretty.

Rolling his eyes away to cease a newfound shock, he looked toward the doors to his room and down at his fingers. He took a few deep breaths silently. 

“Hey, I can take you out to town tomorrow. I’ll show you around, get you familiar with this place,” he suggested. “We can have fun here, I promise.”

“Okay,” you replied without a second thought. 

You felt the weight of your worries lift off your heavy heart gently, one by one, chunk by chunk. What more could you do? You were already here, and you would have to stay in the palace before you find yourself the gateway out of here.

Surviving meant understanding the ways of the world and networking, which is spoken like a proper career guide! Strengthening your friendship with Hyunjin could be a good thing, and who knows? Maybe he would prove you wrong. Maybe Goguryeo can be fun.

You found your neck aching the following day. 

The wooden pillow wasn’t the best thing to lay your head on, you had realized that in the middle of the night after you tossed and turned around for a bit. You thought you could handle it but supposed that conclusion was only theoretical. Eventually, you replaced the pillow with your arm and a folded sweater. Still, the damage to your weak bone had already been done.

Rolling your head from side to side, you sniffed at the chilly, early morning cold. You couldn’t tell the time; your phone was likely incorrect. If you had to guess, you would say it was around when you would wake up for your one morning class. Your eyes were barely open as you stepped down the flight of stone stairs to the outside of the room Hyunjin had people prepare for you the night before.

Reaching into your schoolbag—you have decided to bring it everywhere—you stuck your hand into the small pocket and pulled out a few pieces of mint chocolate you selfishly took too many of at the front of a restaurant. You moaned in delight when you popped one in your mouth and tasted the melting chocolate on your tongue.

Nodding in approval, you played around with the pieces in your palm as you mindlessly looked ahead, staring at the architecture of Hyunjin’s home you didn’t get the chance to observe during the night.

His house was big, which made sense considering his royal status and his residence was inside a palace. The structure was not something you were used to seeing; you’d only occasionally noticed it when you passed by the public palace back in your days. An ironic sigh escaped your lips at the notion that what was once a humble abode not many could enter years later became an attraction that everyone roamed.

Your shoulders slumped when reality hit you again.

A bad night's sleep didn’t put you back to where you belong. This was really happening. You really did time travel.

“Good morning.”

You jumped slightly at the sudden appearance of Hyunjin’s voice. Pressing a quick hand to your chest, you stepped aside to find him looking at you with no trace of exhaustion or grogginess on his face. It was as if he woke up hours ago and did some morning exercise to clear a night’s sleep. 

“You look chirpy,” you muttered before rolling your eyes, remembering how the morning went. Your eyes were wide open for a full minute after waking up. You really thought you could drive yourself to insanity with the company of what sounded like millions of birds arguing outside your room, shrieking at each other. “Just like those damn birds outside the window.”

“Oh yes, the birds are very loud in the morning. They wake us up.” He nodded, choosing to ignore your irritated tone. “Don’t you have birds back in your day?”

“We do, but I live in an apartment building. My home is all the way up in the sky. No birds are chirping at that height!” you said in annoyance, popping another mint chocolate into your mouth. “Besides, we have alarm clocks. We don’t need birds to wake us up.”

“Alarm clocks?” he raised a brow.

“Huh? Oh, yes, alarms,” you said between gentle chews. “You set a specific time you want to do anything, and it will remind you when the time is up.”

“How would the clock know what time it is?” 

“I don’t know. I never looked that up.” You shrugged. “People just figured out how to make something that ticks every second, and it keeps track of the days and nights, kind of like how they figured out how to make just about everything else I have.”

No matter the direction he was judging from, there was no doubt that your world—or your time—was far more advanced and convenient than Goguryeo. Starting with the tiny gadget that seemed to have all the universe's functions, to your durable but seemingly unendurable schoolbag, and to the so-called alarm clock. 

It made him wonder how disappointing it was that the subject of this unplanned time traveling turned out to be you and not him. He may feel less homesick in your world. 

“What other things have your people invented?” he asked.

You hummed in faint amusement, although the separation of himself from you merely because of a thousand-year time leap was understandable. You decided not to comment and moved on with answering. Rolling the piece of chocolate in your hand, you smiled as an idea popped into your head. 

You unpeeled a mint chocolate piece and held it to his mouth, urging him to eat it. Hyunjin showed a sign of reluctance at first, but seeing that you have been happily munching on the irregular-looking food, he supposed it should be fine. After he took the piece in his mouth, you placed the remaining pieces in your pocket and turned both of you towards the sky.

“I don’t know how alarm clocks are made, but I do know there is a way to tell time without one by using your hand,” you said, holding up one palm. “For the record, I am not liable for the method’s inaccuracy. But one palm is one hour, and the fingers are fifteen minutes. You just have to stack them up to count how long until the sun comes down.”

Hyunjin hummed, nodding without listening to you. The mint chocolate was melting deliciously on his tongue, and he was trying to savor the taste by gently sucking on the piece, but it was melting way too fast for him.

You turned to him, seeing his squinted eyes and moving lips, and immediately knew he liked the chocolate. You let your arms fall to your side as you chuckled. Then you snuck a hand inside your pocket. “Do you want more chocolate?”

Hyunjin looked at you briefly, his eyes unwavering as he gulped down the taste. He nodded, his eyes now round and childlike. “Yes, please. You have my gratitude.”

“How formal,” you joked with a gentle pat on his shoulder. 

You opened your palm to display one piece of chocolate, and his eyes sparkled like never before. He quickly snatched it away and popped it into his mouth. Eyes widened just as his features scrunched into a grimace, and you threw yourself into a fit of giggle when he slowly spat the chocolate out onto his palm. The silver wrapping was wrinkled and soiled with saliva, for which Hyunjin showed his verbal distaste.

“You were too hasty,” you said, debating if you wanted to touch the wrapping to take it off for him. “You need to peel that off before you eat. Don’t you guys wrap your food?”

“We do!” he exclaimed, with the kind of annoyance one exuded only when being interrupted. “I’ll show you. Let’s head out to town. We can grab some food on the way, too.” 

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “You did say you are going to show me around.”

Hyunjin pursed his lips together into a smirk of agreement. “I will just change into something plainer and grab a bag of gold, then we can head out,” he said casually. When he noticed the quick change in your expression, he stuttered, “What? What did I say?”

Your neutral face of contemplation slowly turned into a smile, a somewhat satisfied and somewhat envious smile.

For one, the fact that Hyunjin could grab a bag of gold whenever he wanted was the life you strive for in the future. Second, the fact that he was grabbing a bag of gold to bring you around town was rather attractive. You couldn’t believe it took you a time travel accident and a lot of confusion to finally have someone take you out and buy you a meal.

“You said something very good to me,” you said. “I can’t believe you would be the one to say it to me, but I will take whatever I can get.”

“What nice thing did I say?” Hyunjin pressed on when you started to walk ahead of him, even after you had chosen to ignore him the first few times.

You rolled your eyes at his persistence, hiding a playful smile behind your clenched jaw. Turning to him, you bashfully tilted your head to the side, “Hey, you know this is basically a date?”

“A date?”

“You don’t know that word?” You furrowed your brows; perhaps you thought the vocabulary richer than it was. “It’s when two people hang out with each other for a day, usually romantically, as if you are courting me.”

“Court–courting?” Hyunjin stuttered, his fingers finding each other quickly at the front.

You furrowed your eyebrows at him as he seemed to choke up a little. He had done this an awful lot since you met him. Whenever you did anything remotely boundary-breaking, like staring at him for a little longer than average or leaning just a little closer to listen to him talk, he would blush and act all ankle-twisting shy. You couldn’t tell if it was due to the social norms between people around here and your friendly antics were out of the ordinary or because Hyunjin liked you.

A crush, if you may.

You usually swatted away the latter since it made less sense than the first option.

“Yeah, but this is friendly, Hyunjin,” you confirmed, circling a finger between you and him. “Because we are friends, all things considered.”

Hyunjin slowly nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“What do you know, Hyunjin?”

You turned to the light-headed but stern voice that stepped in from the side. A man slowly made his way over with a smirk directed toward Hyunjin. When he approached and noticed your presence, his smile softened to appear stoic.

“Good morning, Minho,” Hyunjin greeted, bowing his head politely.

You cleared your throat and mirrored Hyunjin’s actions. Your haphazard greeting released in a hum so quiet it was barely audible, but Minho cared more about your blatant, curious stare than the lack of mandatory address of his royal status. He was not mistaken, though. You stared at him like he was an unknown specimen, letting his features sink in. 

His hairstyle was different than Hyunjin’s. That was the most straightforward observation. His was tied up into a topknot, displaying his forehead and—you’ve got to admit—well-shaped eyebrows that made you feel just a little more self-conscious about your own. His eyes were sharp and alert, with only small flashes of casualness that you would completely miss if you weren’t paying attention.

“Who are you?” you asked him first, then you turned to Hyunjin. “Who is he?”

Hyunjin cleared his throat and nudged the side of your arm. He wasn’t as afraid of your ignorance as he was in front of the king. Actually, he wasn’t afraid at all, merely concerned. While his brothers were not cruel, among all seven of them, Minho was definitely one of the stricter ones when it came to upholding customs and the hierarchy. You wouldn’t get into fatal trouble, but Minho may not enjoy your presence, which would be a massive inconvenience during encounters like this. 

You furrowed your brows upon Hyunjin’s physical response and nudged him back. “I’m just asking.”

“Well, don’t ask,” he retorted, as if exclaiming common sense. “I’ll tell you who everyone is.”

“What are you? My caretaker?”

“I basically am under these circumstances!”

Minho raised his brows after eyeing you two back and forth. The fact that Hyunjin was so occupied with you yesterday that he couldn’t attend the gathering of all his siblings contributed to the truthfulness of your claimed relationship.

But, still, a distant cousin showing up abruptly in clothing and belongings unseen by all was too suspicious to ignore. Seeing how you two bickered with each other, though, Minho thought himself too hasty to form that conclusion.

He rubbed his hands, which had been jointed behind his back throughout the morning walk, and asked, “What are you two arguing about?”

You two looked up at him, causing him to freeze in surprise. 

Hyunjin cleared his throat again, which he’s been doing an awful lot since you dropped by. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off by a second. Gesturing to Minho by nudging your chin toward his direction, you arched your brows. 

“You haven’t answered my question,” you said. “Who are you? You look like you could be a prince.”

“That’s because he is!” Hyunjin exclaimed with a clap. The boisterous smile on his face fell as soon as he turned his back on Minho to force your attention on him. His eye twitched, or he could have imagined it. “If you thought he was a prince, why would you still address him like that?”

“It was an assumption. I didn’t think he actually is one.” You shrugged, not paying attention to his anxious reaction. “Besides, aren’t you also a prince? You should be able to talk me out of trouble if I get in trouble.”

The eye contact he wordlessly maintained told that you stand to be corrected. A knot burned in his chest, traveling up his throat to turn a difficult explanation into ashes. He figured you would know the workings of a royal court and his abysmal status compared to his brothers, considering you came from the future. Perhaps you didn’t learn enough about the structure of a royal court, or you didn’t learn about him in general. Either way, Hyunjin was unwilling to explain the hierarchy of princes to you. 

You noticed his expression and felt wronged that he was acting like you’d made the worst mistake known to man. Waving your hand dismissively, you muttered, “I am not supposed to talk to anyone the way I’ve been, Hyunjin. You think I don’t already know that?”

“Yeah, I know,” he whispered. “I would like you to follow our customs, if possible, for my sake.” 

Guilt replaced the notion of you being wrongfully accused. Looking at his soft eyes, you figured you ought to take him more seriously, considering you’ve been living on his generous favor. Licking your lower lip and sighing, you nodded. “Okay, but for the record, I did listen to you when we were facing your father. I can read the room.”

He slowly smirked in relief. For the moment, you both forgot the presence of a third party standing not too far, observing the conversation. 

“They call you by your name, Hyunjin,” Minho pointed out, his voice leveled and calm as it snapped you back to the present.

Hyunjin turned around to level his brother with surprise. He had been so drowned in the joy of such a basic level of intimacy that he forgot the palace wasn’t open to such forms of disrespect. Raising one shoulder into a half-hearted shrug, he furrowed his brows and smiled. “Yeah. Like I mentioned to Father, they have gotten used to the culture of–“

“America. I remember.” 

You scowled when Hyunjin pursed his lips and shrunk his shoulders when interrupted. Pushing past to stand before him, one arm stretched before his figure defensively, you said, “We’re friends, so it is normal to call him by name. It doesn’t sound as estranged as how everyone treats each other here.”

Minho hummed stoically, and you thought he was surprised at the way you reacted to him, but it appeared to be something else.

“Friends?” he asked, “I thought you two were cousins.”

You cursed under your breath, turning your head to the side with a scrunched-up face at the simple mistake you made. Minho took the chance to move closer, perhaps to exude intimidation, but you didn’t catch him closing the gap until he was close before you. He leaned down, stopping when the tip of his nose was inches from yours.

Your breath hitched in your nose once you finally turned your attention back to him.

“What are you hiding?” Minho asked.

You pursed your lips, not letting yourself reflect the quivers of your heart. 

“I’m not hiding anything, You Highness,” you said, maintaining eye contact with him. “I would also highly appreciate it if you don’t intrude into my personal space.”

Minho only displayed a moment of confusion towards your words before he regained his posture. He stepped back and cleared his throat, letting you have a breather. Hyunjin quickly pulled you behind him to grab Minho’s attention instead. His smile was careful when he looked at his older brother. His hands rubbed together anxiously due to the tense encounter between you and Minho.

“I’m sorry about my cousin. America is a very different place,” Hyunjin said, ignoring how you snorted behind him. “Anyway, I am about to head out to town with them to show them around, so if you will excuse us–”

“Let me come along,” Minho cut in casually. “I haven’t been out in a long time either.”

“I refuse!” you shouted immediately at the sound of the suggestion, grabbing onto Hyunjin’s outstretched arm that acted as a fence and peeking your head over to point at him with an angry grimace. “I’m not hanging out with a jerk like you!”

“[Name]! Please!” 

“Just so you know, You Highness!” Your tongue has enough mockery to last Minho a decade. “In America, we let people finish their sentences!"

“You cut me off,” Hyunjin commented.

“What?” You paused so fast it was comical. Your legs ceased to kick, and you stopped pushing your weight onto Hyunjin’s arm as if to use it as a swing. Once your feet hit the ground, you looked up at him. “When?”

“All the time,” he replied as if you should have known that better than him. “You cut me off all the time.”

“What?” This one sounded more incredulous than the last. Dropping your arm to your side, you squinted at him in disbelief. “No way. I do not cut you off all the time.”

“I may be exaggerating,” he said, trying to cushion the impact of his previous accusation, “but the way you talk–your voice, I mean. It sounds like you are interrupting people all the time.” 

You widened your eyes to show him your disbelief. Words got caught in your throat when you attempted to muster up a retort, and what came out was a string of incoherent, nasally noises of protest as you pulled several different faces of annoyance. He rolled his eyes at your dramatic reaction. 

“And that is somehow my problem?” you exclaimed. 

“I didn’t say it’s a problem. I said it as an observation.”

“Okay. You can observe me walk away.”

You did not manage one step before you were met with Minho standing in your way. You paused, looked up at the sky, and closed your eyes, feeling the lack of blessings from a lord you did not believe in, and you dropped your head back down with a pursed, calm smile.

“I forgot you were here,” you said before immediately adding, “Your Highness.”

Minho huffed out a mildly menacing laugh, but his voice might have been made harsher because he was still processing the abrupt change of conversation you and Hyunjin had made. He has a lot of questions, most of them about you and your identity, and unfortunately, none of those questions came from any form of positive interest in you.

Sucking on his teeth briefly, he smacked his lips and inhaled in preparation to keep you in the same spot for longer than desired by asking you questions.

“Why don’t you want me to hang out with you two?” he asked.

“You’re a jerk,” you replied curtly.

“But you don’t know me,” he said, “like I don’t know you.”

“Great! I am not interested in meeting new people so let’s all be on our way!”

“Now, hold on,” Minho furrowed his brows, “I thought America lets people finish what they have to say.” 

You opened your mouth when you realized your words were being sent back to you the way you didn’t want them to, and then you closed it quickly when you felt your eyes tear up at the sudden wave of emotions. Exhausted from all the dodging and brainstorming you have been doing, all the while being confused and homesick with nobody to truly understand you. 

Not only that, it came to you that you might have overreacted with Minh and left a bad impression. You couldn’t recall if he was an essential figure in the history of Goguryeo, but after making a point to yourself that you’ve got to carefully cultivate a network during this time, immediately failing to do so was a devastating failure. Your survival list was the only thing you thought was in your control, and your mind threw that stability away by refusing to enact it. 

You breathed out a croak as you turned away from the two princes, pursing your lips and clenching your teeth to shut yourself up as your shoulders shuddered.

Hyunjin watched your back shiver. He didn’t know you were crying until you let out the uncontrollable, sympathy-inducing sound. His lips parted, but he couldn’t find the right words. What could he tell you anyway? He didn’t even know what you were upset about. Even if he did, what could he do when he knew nothing of your futuristic mindset?

Minho’s hands relaxed in surprise, and they brought themselves to the front of his body, where he began to fiddle his fingers in awkwardness. He never wanted to make you cry.

Hyunjin approached and reached to touch your shoulder, hoping to reassure you. You turned around when you felt his touch and stopped whining. Unpredictable hiccups were what was left of your minor meltdown. When you met eyes with him, you frowned. You didn’t want him to see you like this.

“This is embarrassing,” you muttered, reaching for his hand blindly. “I’m hungry.”

“Okay,” he nodded, eyeing his brother, “let’s go eat.”

Minho looked away at the pointed glare Hyunjin sent him. He figured he ought to explain to Hyunjin that it was never his intention to make you cry; he thought you and him were merely engaged in a battle of stubbornness. Seeing you fall to tears because of how much you didn’t want him around was humiliating, but he understood the fault was on him and not you.

When Hyunjin walked past him, he didn’t follow.

The town in the morning was as hectic as you expected. All those montages of the main character walking among the hustle and bustle of the streets, eating steam buns, and playing around with vintage trinkets were ultimately scenes to be recreated unknowingly now that you’ve been inserted into the role of said main character. The only unrealistic thing was that it only took a one-minute montage of them laughing and looking around to get used to time-traveling.

However, you cared enough to admit that you weren't thinking about going home for roughly an hour of Hyunjin bringing you around to eat and check out old-fashioned entertainment. You actually took the chance to experience the welcoming atmosphere. Despite your unusual clothing and hairstyle, they didn’t seem to discriminate against you so much. They treated you well as they would their peers. 

Besides that, another thing you took note of was that a simple clothing change was, as a matter of fact, enough to conceal a prince’s identity. It was unbelievable because Hyunjin looked practically the same as he was without a disguise, but no one seemed to have noticed. Or maybe they did, but they chose to not point it out out of courtesy.

The feeling in the buzzing town was much better than that of the cold, stoic palace where everyone was rigid and dull. You would much rather leave the palace if not for your developing friendship with Hyunjin and the many conveniences that came with it. You knew you were not ready to fight for shelter and food on your own in a foreign place; you didn’t want to do it back in your time, and you didn’t want to do it now. 

“This,” you held up the steam bun that you took a big bite of, “this is great.”

“I would hope so. It’s your third one,” he said. 

“If you had fed me in the palace, I wouldn’t be stuffing myself like this.”

He scoffed. “You know–I haven’t heard a single ounce of gratitude come out of you since the first steam bun.”

Your chewing stopped gradually as you recalled when you two left the palace gates. 

He brought you into a shop first, or you dragged him in because you saw a familiar childhood toy. You recounted your experiences with him, telling him how you used to play outdoors with your friends before being introduced to a tablet. He marveled at the fact that you two share common knowledge across time. He had asked if you wanted the toy, and you refused it. It wasn’t something you’d play with anymore.

After, he walked inside a store that you assumed sold stationaries. There were parchment papers, pts of black ink, and lines of different-sized brushes. It was then that you got to hear about Hyunjin’s artistic endeavors.

One of his brothers excelled in instruments, another at poetry, and he excelled in painting. He had started off with landscapes before moving on to drawing portraits of people. You jokingly asked if he could draw a portrait of you, and he said he would consider it. You had snickered at the response; it appeared artists from across time hated that question.

Then, you stumbled upon a food stand selling rice cakes. That began your street cleaning, from rice cakes to chicken wings to steam buns. Unfortunately, Hyunjin was right. You haven’t said thank you once. 

“Haha,” you grinned sheepishly, cheeks jutted out with chewed steam bun, “you’re the best, Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin frowned, his eyes squinting. He debated, pointing out how you still hadn’t thanked him for paying for your food, but he blanked when you switched the steam bun over to your other hand so you could circle an arm around his.

He laughed, feeling an unknown relief erupting from his chest to replace all the worries that had bothered him this past day. When he glanced down at you, the top of your head impossibly close to his face, his pursed lips uncontrollably quirked into a smile.

He has finally gotten something, someone. For the first time, it felt like he was someone’s closest friend. For the first time, he wasn’t in his brothers’ shadow. Although you needed him to provide you with basic necessities, your demeanor around him was carefree and genuine enough that he believed you stayed with him mainly because you enjoyed his company.

It has to be, or else you would have tried to warm up to Minho more. 

“Are you going to keep eating?” he asked. 

You hummed lowly, pulling your head away from him and flashing a glare. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s probably not what you’re thinking about. I don’t tend to have any ill intentions,” he sighed. “You’re so guarded. How do you live?”

“You are the last person I want to hear about being uptight from,” you muttered mindlessly as you folded the bag that was once filled with steam buns. “With the way everything works in the palace, I think it’ll do you well if you are more alert of the people around you.”

A momentary smirk appeared on his face, then he shook his head. “Who? Like the guards?”

“Like your brothers.”

Your arm slipped from his when he stopped walking. It took you a second to turn around, and when you met eyes with him, they were grim and questioning. It was expected; you weren’t paying attention when you told him to be guarded against his brothers, but you suspected it wouldn’t be the best advice to receive.

In all fairness, you haven’t studied your essays and readings enough to know if any of his brothers would end up being a tyrant. Your advice was general, created from many television dramas and minor historical facts. 

Hyunjin’s upsetting expression made your stomach drop, though, even if your words were sound and reasonable. You assumed he loved his brothers dearly, and the notion that one of them would become the key to betrayal devastated him. 

“What do you know?” he asked quietly when you neared. “Which one of my brothers?”

“I–“ you grimaced with sympathy, lips shivering lightly in uncertainly. His face was close, but you were too concerned with the topic to care. “I don’t know either, Hyunjin.”

“Then why did you say that?” 

“It’s just a general statement. Cases of betrayal and backstabbing in the royal court happened across dynasties,” you explained, offering him a sympathetic smile and touching his jaw with your fingertips. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to alarm you this much.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered.

His downturned mouth stretched even further at your apology. He didn’t think he needed to receive one, but it was kind that you offered one despite it burdening him. Wanting to ask you more about the issue (although you’ve already told him that you uttered a general statement), he thought better of it and held himself back. 

Not only was he not interested in knowing a potentially disastrous future, not even with the advantage of preparing for it, but he wasn’t sure if he could truly change the course of history at his current standing. Asking you to research his and his brothers’ lives would depress him. His best bet was to go with the flow and hope for the best. 

If he was to get in trouble, perhaps it was meant to be. 

The sight of Minho loitering around the palace entrance when you and Hyunjin returned put an immediate frown on your face. He seemed to have noticed it from afar as he abruptly turned his body as if debating if he wanted to head back inside to avoid meeting you two. 

“What is he doing here?” you scowled, your eyes unable to tear away from Minho’s rigid figure. 

Alarm bells rang in Hyunjin’s ears. He wasn’t sure why his brother would coincidentally be by the palace gates when you two were finally returning home either. It could just be a coincidence. But, unfortunately, he would not put it past Minho to come all the way out for a belated confrontation after he thought through the negative interaction you two had. Your tears caught him off-guard, and now he’s back to finish you! 

“I don’t know, but please, just let me handle this,” Hyunjin muttered through nervous teeth. “Do not say anything disrespectful.”

“Everything I say is disrespectful to you lots.”

“What did I just–“

“Okay, okay! I’ll let you handle it. Don’t worry,” you said with both hands up in surrender. As they fell to your sides, you scoffed to yourself. “It’s not like I want to talk to that asshole anyway.” 

“[Name].”

“I’m shutting up.”

He retaliated against your elbowing to his side with a light slap, almost tripping on his feet as he stumbled forward to reach your arm when you hopped away from his friendly attack. You slowed your pace once you were nearing the palace gate, and your previously bright expression dulled into a monotonous trance. You got behind Hyunjin, using his shoulders as a shield, and showed on your face that you didn’t want anything to do with Minho. 

“Hey, brother,” Hyunjin greeted with a wave. 

Minho nodded in return, but Hyunjin could sense that his eyes were searching for someone else. A gulp slid down his throat nervously, and he smiled to cover up his suspicion. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Um,” Minho cleared his throat and turned his body toward Hyunjin, “I would like to talk to your cousin.”

Your brows furrowed at his request. Peeking your head to the side of Hyunjin’s arm, you opened your mouth to release an obnoxious rejection and stopped before your—according to Hyunjin—interrupting voice could potentially send you back to the chambers for being hostile.

You eyed up at Hyunjin, bashfully inhaling at the twitch of his eye, and raised your brows to mellow out your displeasure.

“Please let Prince Minho know that I do not wish to speak with him,” you said. 

He softened, the defeated exhale from his nose slightly blowing at your face. “Okay.”

Minho licked his lower lip when Hyunjin returned his attention to him. You two were whispering, but judging from the look on his brother’s face, there would be no conversation held at the palace gate as of now. His shoulders slumped invisibly, and he rubbed his hands behind his back. His anxious stance caught your eye, and you tilted your head curiously as to why he was fidgeting. 

It couldn’t be possible that Prince Minho has developed a crush on you within minutes, could it? Something along the lines of how nobody has ever treated him with such nonchalance before! You snickered at the mere thought of that cliché possibility. You weren’t delusional enough for that.

“They don’t want to talk to you, I’m afraid,” Hyunjin said. 

“What if I only wish to apologize for my misdemeanor?” 

“Well, you should have started with that!” You shoved Hyunjin to the side and stepped up, folding your hands in front of your abdomen. A triumphant smile played on your face as you encouraged, “Go on then.”

“Arrogance shall take you nowhere.” Minho squinted his eyes in faint annoyance but immediately relaxed upon dropping the matter of your childish triumph. He swallowed a knot and habitually rolled his eyes. 

“Your sudden appearance has been alarming. Even more so your strange relation to my brother and your knowledge of the world unknown to all. I made a hasty judgment of your character and intentions and acted upon my suspicion, which was not made better due to my–“ he tapped his feet to think–“unapproachable personality, I suppose. It was my fault. I did not wish to make you cry. I apologize for my transgression.”

The fact that his apology was genuine pissed you off. To see that there was a side of Minho that was honest and responsible meant that you, too, have made a hasty judgment of him that you felt compelled to apologize for because he did. Simultaneously, you were uncertain how to respond. It hadn’t been such a big deal to you; you practically forgot what happened the second your lips tasted the street food. 

“Uhm,” you faked a cough and looked away, “I wouldn’t call it a transgression. It’s not like you committed a crime.”

“Then I apologize for my behavior.”

“I suppose I should apologize for how I acted as well.” You pursed your lips as you inhaled, deadpan surfacing in your eyes. Turning to him, you ducked your head into a slight bow. “I forgive you, and I’m sorry. We got off the wrong foot.”

“Thank you,” Minho said. 

That was a turn of events. A turn for the better, Hyunjin reckoned! Being a mediator with no significant power was frightening, and your reckless behaviors haven’t helped him once.

He grinned when you spun around and approached him. The joy crumbled when you leaned closer to his ears and whispered your distaste about how Minho didn’t respond to your apology the way you wanted him to and how you shouldn’t have apologized if you had known he would only say ‘thank you.’

Hyunjin pulled away. The defeat in his eyes was hard to disguise. “You complain about everything.” 

“Unfortunately, I find flaws in everything,” you excused with a shrug.

“There are flaws in everything. You don’t have to find it on purpose,” he muttered, raising his hand to flick your forehead. “Some of us just aren’t as whiny as you.”

Your jaw dropped slightly, unsure if it was because he called you whiny or he assaulted your forehead. On second thought, you have never called Hyunjin out for going against you in almost everything! When you were butting heads with Minho, he called you out. When you were trying to have a good time in town, he was—ha!—complaining about your lack of gratitude. Now, he dares to say you're whiny? This prince’s a hypocrite! 

In playful (also serious) retaliation, you gritted your teeth and smacked the top of his head from the side. Minho widened his eyes in surprise at what he would have thought to be hilarious. Forcing his feet to move, he sped-walk toward you and Hyunjin and, much to both of your surprise, yanked you away from Hyunjin and to his side instead. 

You attempted to snatch your hand away, but he held onto you so tightly that you couldn’t help but believe something serious had happened.

Remembering your comment about having a personal bubble, Hyunjin was about to step up and confront his brother about intruding on your space again when Minho abruptly turned his head to glare at him.

He was taken back at first, but when Minho’s eyes began to dart between him and a faraway distance, he turned to see where the signal was being sent.

A girl dressed in luxurious fabrics with well-done hair decorated with a hat-like accessory inaccessible to ordinary folks was closing the distance. You raised your brows curiously at her appearance and possible status; then your curiosity grew when you saw Hyunjin visibly tense up at her presence. 

“Greetings, Princess Deokhye,” Minho said, releasing your hand. 

Your eyes widened in realization. A princess! Of course! If there were princes in the palace, there would also be princesses. You didn’t think she was significant enough, though, as you couldn’t recall hearing her name. But your knowledge of history was so limited that it shouldn’t act as a rubric on which historical figure made the most impact.

“Greetings to you as well,” she nodded slowly, “to all of you.”

She had a polite smile that you suspected was trained in her because you could tell she was displeased about something. She quickly confirmed your assumption when she turned to look at you with a questioning gaze.

Minho’s hands tensed beside you, seemingly aware of the princess’s temperament. You noticed it, and part of you wanted to applaud that a girl could make two princes pause in fear at a time when the only thing about her mattered was her father’s status.

A soft, awkward chuckle left your lips as you gave her a small wave. “Hi?”

“Hi?” Hyunjin mouthed. He looked almost angry. It would have sounded aggressive if he could repeat the word out loud. 

Princess Deokhye’s smile widened in disbelief. She gracefully looked behind her shoulder at Hyunjin, who returned to his usual position. “Is this the cousin everyone has been talking about?”

“Yes. Here,” he marched over to you and stepped between the space of you and Minho, “this is [Name], my distant cousin. They are currently stopping by for a visit from traveling.”

She hummed in acknowledgment, pretending she hadn’t heard that from her lady-in-waiting. She had a faraway look in her eyes that made it seem as if she couldn’t see anybody else when she looked at Hyunjin again. “I see your cousin lacks basic manners, Prince Hyunjin.” 

You grimaced. You would be the first person to admit your behavior has not been ideal, given the current setting. Hyunjin constantly reminded you of it with his fidgety hands and worrisome mind; Minho—well, being overdramatic aside, he didn’t have the personality that makes people want to be nice to him, which only doubled down on the fact that you’ve been childish since the moment you time traveled to Goguryeo. However, you have not done anything to Princess Deokhye besides uttering a simple greeting! 

If a mere ‘hi’ was what she’s hung up about, then you’ve no intention of taking her seriously. 

“They have been practicing the customs and cultures of other nations,” Hyunjin laughed, putting a shoulder on your hand, possibly to support himself, “sometimes–“

“But we are in Goguryeo,” she cut him off. “When you are in Goguryeo, you follow the customs here.”

You squinted your eyes, but not only in annoyance. There was recognition in those faint memories of the conversations you’ve had mainly over the internet, and you made a mental note to yourself that she’s one of those people. 

“Do you people never let anyone finish their sentences?” you asked toward the general audience, but your eyes remained on the princess. “Or does it depend on who’s speaking?” 

She did not back down from the challenge you posed. “That is an inconsequential–“

“You define that, why?” you interrupted her casually, although it was done with intention. She did not continue to speak over you, surprisingly. Whipping around to Minho, you signaled for his attention. “You outrank her.”

“I–“ he swallowed his stutter–“excuse me?”

“You outrank her in this palace?”

“All things considered, yes,” he replied.

“Good,” you said. “Do you think my questions were inconsequential?”

The corner of his lips twitched at the realization that you’ve dragged him into a petty feud. 

Princess Deokhye has been known to be uptight. Still, besides that, she was also the king’s favorite child because she was his only daughter. Among the messy, nasty group of sons that existed only to continue the king’s legacy, Deokhye was a breath of fresh air—young, pretty, graceful, and more devoted to her father than his wives, who’ve been distracted with child-rearing. 

Minho knew that, in terms of status, he outranked her because he was a son, and his mother was well-liked by the king. However, without his mother acting as damage control, a battle between him and Princess Deokhye would result in him losing if taken to the king.

Disagreeing with whatever you planned to ask him in the next second was the only way to mediate the situation, but that would give Princess Deokhye an opening to attack you, and she would. That was what she approached you for. 

He had to divert attention, and he knew precisely the person to do this. 

“If we are debating who should decide what is important or not, I am not the person,” Minho said. “Let’s take this to the crown prince.” 

Hyunjin snapped his head over to glare at his brother. “What?”

“There seems to be a disagreement between [Name] and Deokhye where your cousin has fittingly pointed out that we are in no position to decide the outcome,” Minho elaborated. He bit back a smirk when you visibly rolled your eyes at his snarky remark directed toward you. “I don’t believe it is a matter suitable for the king to solve, so let us take it to the closest person we have to him–our oldest brother.”

“Minho, we cannot be bothering Chan about something as trivial as this.” 

Hyunjin’s voice faded as you observed Deokhye, attempting to find meanings in her micro-movements. The fact that she did not once interrupt Minho despite him being a damn blabbermouth was not lost on you. She looked down at the ground and back up, her eyes shifting seamlessly between Hyunjin and Minho, skilfully taking you out of her vision. You noticed how much more relaxed she was when her eyes landed on Minho. 

You could be delusional, but you’ve seen many phenomenal actors and actresses pretending to be in love. You’ve witnessed your classmates pine after each other too many times to let a change in the gaze, a flicker of the eyes, slip through your fingers. An airy gasp left your barely parted mouth, and you unconsciously turned your body toward Hyunjin to create an appropriate distance from Minho. 

Hyunjin automatically placed his hands on your elbow, letting your shrunken body into a half embrace cluelessly. He chuckled, mistaking your nervousness to be from the mention of meeting the crown prince. But the problem that plagued you was that it was clear that Princess Deokhye felt romantic attraction toward Minho.

You weren’t sure if you should be frightened that she possibly saw you as a threat or be disapproving that they share the same father.

You thought the crown prince would be more menacing, but Chan acted like any regular twenty-something-year-old with heavy responsibilities shoved up his ass. 

“Why did you three come to me about this?” he asked with a defeated sigh after Princess Deokhye left the room. 

She left in disappointment as Chan gently reprimanded all of you for engaging in such an unnecessary quarrel, but you were sure she held back the stomps of her feet because she had to keep up her appearance.

The crown prince made the princess apologize to you for making a rude remark, and you admitted that you were wrong for instigating an argument, even in the name of defending yourself. 

You were ready to stand your ground and refuse accountability, but the exhaustion in Chan’s voice and the pile of scattered papers on the desk he was pulled away from made you act otherwise. The crown prince’s got more tasks to fulfill than you expected; it looked like your desk during finals week, except you’ve only got your future to worry about while he’s got an kingdom of people. 

“I was against the idea, brother. I promise you!” Hyunjin whined, and then he pointed at Minho. “He brought it up!”

“I have my reasons,” Minho said.

Chan raised a brow. He looked at you, his expression softening into politeness, and then he asked, “What about you? Were you part of this?”

Your jaw dropped as you made random, thoughtful noises to fill the air. Once you formulated an answer, you shrugged. “Like I said, I was defending myself. She shouldn’t come at me like that without knowing me.” 

“Come at–what? What are you saying?” 

“It’s a phrase.” You waved Hyunjin off.

“I almost forgot. You aren’t from Goguryeo,” Chan said after hearing the brief exchange.

“Um,” you paused, "actually, I am from here. I have traveled a lot since a young age, so it looks like I’m not.”

“And you are Hyunjin’s distant cousin.”

“Yes,” you nodded, “both literally and metaphorically.”

“How is it metaphorical?” Minho chimed in.

“Well, we’re distant cousins,” you muttered, turning to him. “We are also distanced by the sea and land.”

Hyunjin furrowed his brows. “They’re both literal.”

“Whose side are you on?” you retorted, blinking dramatically at him. 

“Wow, they do look you in the eyes when they talk,” Chan commented. “Isn’t it bothersome to move your neck around so much?”

You had pulled that out of nowhere, but if it fascinated the people in Goguryeo, you’ve no complaints. 

“Not really,” you replied.

“Oh.” 

Eventually, there was nothing to talk about. Neither you nor Chan knew each other enough, nor were you both interested in each other enough to strike up a conversation. You understood his position as a crown prince, while he acknowledged your intellectual assets as a traveler. Both of you noted the advantages of being in each other’s good graces, but it wasn’t enough incentive to act friendly.

Besides, awkwardness was inevitable when it came to mutual friends, or in this case, distant relatives. There was nothing else to say, and the sudden emergence of silence proved that.

“Well, I’ve got a lot of work to do, so I’ll get back to it,” Chan said. He flashed you a polite smile. “It’s nice meeting you.”

“Likewise.” You nodded.

“Minho, for next time, which I pray there would be none, please don’t bother me with matters as such,” he said before turning to Hyunjin. “And you–if you knew it was a bad idea, speak up. I know Princess Deokhye agreed to it, but you’ve got to consider everyone.”

That was interesting! You tilted your head at Chan’s comment, weaving your overthinking brain between the words and fishing out borderline delusional connotations. Moving your eyes up to glimpse at Hyunjin, then moving them down to look forward, you sucked in a thoughtful breath and pushed the tip of your tongue against your inner cheek.

You closed your mouth, letting out a low, stoic hum that caught everyone’s attention.

Hyunjin recognized that expression of yours. You’ve got nothing good to say whenever you look deep in thought. He slowly closed his eyes and sighed. “What is it now?”

You sucked your top front teeth and smiled. “Do you have a thing for Princess Deokhye?” 

“No?” he replied, shaking his head. “I don’t have anything to give her.”

“Ah, no–“ you scoffed–“Do you like her?”

Chan cleared his throat and turned away, inching back to his desk as he covered the amused smile with his sleeve. Minho heaved a sigh as if he wasn’t fond of the topic because of how overtly discussed it was. Watching their reaction, then back at Hyunjin, who avoided your eyes out of embarrassment, a knowing smile eased onto your cheeks. 

“You do like her,” you hummed in a sing-song tone. “How interesting. I would not have figured out with how rigid you were–“ You paused, recalling the way he tensed up back then and realizing you’d mistaken it as fear. You breathed out softly at the information. “Never mind, I think I see it now.”

“What are you talking about!” he exclaimed. It was a rhetorical question. “Don’t be stupid!”

“You’re stupid,” you retaliated dismissively, a finger held up to shut his mouth as you stared at the ground. “But I have questions for you only you could answer.”

This wasn’t groundbreaking information, or at least it shouldn’t be. It felt like finding out which of your classmates harbored romantic feelings for each other and proceeding to make fun of them for the school year, but not precisely that scenario. You were concerned, so to say, because you’ve concluded that Princess Deokhye liked Minho. 

And, of course, Hyunjin and Deokhye have the same father.

Some important things you learned about Goguryeo: marriage within the family was not taboo. 

That was it, actually. That was the only thing you learned about Goguryeo, but the sheer shock made it feel like you’ve had to process hundreds of new information at once. 

“Sorry if you think it’s weird,” Hyunjin said nonchalantly. “It’s been happening since forever.” 

“I don’t think it’s weird. It is weird,” you emphasized after raising your head from his bed, which you were sprawled out on. “You guys are half-siblings!” 

“Our mothers are different.”

“Hence, half-siblings.” You bounced up and pulled your legs to your chest, crossing them. “Please pay attention.” 

Hyunjin rolled his eyes from the table. He sat up, the chair scooting backward, and marched over to you. You struggled when he tried to pull you off his bed; he didn’t particularly care for its cleanliness. He only wanted to give you a hard time because you’ve been stomping on his fragile heart that was hung up on his childhood crush. 

That was something you learned about Hyunjin. His feelings for Princess Deokhye grew at a young age, and—surprise! He already knew that she had her eyes set on Minho. 

You had given yourself time to consider your words, which you weren’t sure should be comfort or advice. It wasn’t as if you were in any place to give relationship advice, anyway. You have never been in one before, and you’ve also never attempted to pursue anyone. Admiring from afar was your way to satisfying the need for a rich romantic life because it was the only thing you knew to do.

Perhaps your belittlement of his attraction toward a family member was also a distraction so you wouldn’t have to address the elephant in the room. 

“What are you going to do?” you asked anyway.

Hyunjin stopped pulling your arms to get you off the bed. He needn't context to know what you were asking, and he knew he had no answers. He dropped your hands and sat down next to you, his eyes staring through the doors, and his shoulders slumped. You watched him, waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts as a man with an unrequited love. 

“Nothing,” he eventually answered. “She doesn’t like me, and she isn’t going to marry me.”

Your lips quirked down. “That comes with her not liking you, yes.”

He clicked his tongue and glared at you. His pout was unconscious. “Can you be nice for one second?”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m not good at comforting people with romantic issues. I don’t know what to say.” 

“Why? You’ve never liked anyone before?” 

You jutted out your bottom light gently. There was not much you could tell him about that. Your attraction to real-life people was always so fleeting you never categorized them as a true attraction. Getting bored of people was a daily routine, and you would even switch your celebrity crushes periodically to avoid being stuck in one place. You have never fallen in love before. You didn’t think you were made for it.

“No, not really.” You shook your head before looking to him expectantly. “What’s it like?”

Hyunjin lowered his head. He anticipated formulating his answers in a way that would reveal true love in a warm, embracing light. It was how he saw it in all the songs, poems, and paintings—two halves of one heart, the strings of an instrument, a brush on a canvas, the world and its admirer. Love is when things are circular. In its birth, there is yearning; in its death, there will also be yearning.

But being in love with Princess Deokhye wasn’t like that.

“It’s…” his voice trailed off momentarily, “it was painful.”

His body had never felt more tense around her, and the adrenaline that got used to rushing up his head during his childhood days couldn’t distinguish him from the child he once was. He stuttered and stumbled, giving in to her every whim against his wishes. His body tricked him into thinking he was still enamored with her the way he did. 

Her pining after his brothers for their status and power was a constant reminder that he wasn’t enough. Chan was the crown prince, Minho was calm and graceful, and he could detail a list longer than any book he’d ever read. He became skillful at pointing out his flaws; once he made those clear, there was no turning a blind eye to them.

His mother wasn’t the king’s favorite, which tarnished his spot in the hierarchy. He has no power in the palace despite being a prince, and Princess Deokhye knows that well. He wasn’t ashamed of his mother, but he used to be angry that she cost him the girl, and he thought he should be ashamed of that. 

There was yearning. At some point, the yearning for her turned into a yearning for peace, to be away from the emotional turmoil. 

You knew loving someone could be difficult, but you reckoned it should never be. 

Gaze dropping low, you remained silent as Hyunjin’s tears fell, but you took his hands and laid your head on his shoulder. At this point, you couldn’t tell if he cried because it had been hard for him to go through the process or that he once again came to terms with the fact that his love would never be reciprocated. Only that he cried like a child never been held. 

His body relaxed against your warmth, and his crying gradually slowed until there were no more tears to fall. He only now properly registered your intertwined hands. He could feel his palm pulsate against yours, beating like one half of a heart. 

You chose to remain silent, but Hyunjin wouldn’t have minded if you talked him out of his emotional turmoil. You could always make him feel something else, be it joy or annoyance. You could always get more than a few words out of him, like plucking the string of an instrument, creating a guaranteed melody.

“Please say something,” he croaked between uncontrollable chuckles. The more he thought about what to say, the more he found it amusing. “You’ve never been so quiet before. This silence is alarming.” 

“What do you want me to say?” you asked. “Do you want me to make a comment or provide emotional support?”

“Either way is fine. Just say something.”

“Okay.” You licked your lips. That was the worst kind of response. “I’m glad you two are never getting married because you have the same dad.”

“Again?” He furrowed his brows. “I don’t like it. Say something else.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “I’m sorry it’s not working out. I know she will come around and choose you soon. You’re a great person.” 

“That–“ he scoffed, “You don’t even sound like you mean it.” 

You shot up at his complaints. A bang sounded when your head crashed into his jaw. You fell back onto his bed, and he doubled over, both of you holding the sore spot that collided. But he was laughing, and you echoed it. 

“What is your problem?” he accused playfully.

“What is your problem! Stop being indecisive and tell me what you want to hear!” you retorted in a holler. 

When you saw that he was pressing his jaw, you laughed airily and released your palm from your head. You removed his hand and rubbed at the spot with your thumb, swiping it like a brush adding colors to a canvas. It was gentle, almost ticklish, and you were kind. 

“You’re not bruising. Stop being dramatic.” 

Kind, for the most part.

“How’s your head?” Hyunjin asked, amused. “It’s your fault it’s hurting.”

You pinched his jaw, the previously tender touch not even a memory. Ignoring his protests with a grin, you distracted yourself with an unnecessary sigh as you looked out the door to gauge the time of day. It should be nearing late afternoon, meaning dinner would soon be served. Rather than the palace cuisine, you wondered if you could talk Hyunjin into giving you a nightly tour of the town instead. 

“When I leave this place, I’m going to write an essay about you so unimaginably bad that your reputation will be forever tarnished,” you threatened jokingly as you let go of his jaw. “Either that or I get called out for being historically inaccurate.”

Hyunjin rubbed his reddened skin. Treating a prince like that was brutal, but he would never call the guards on you. It was too late for that; you’ve established a friendship with him so refreshing and palpable that he couldn't imagine parting from you even though it’s only developed for two days. In fact, he hasn’t parted from you since he met you, and he recognized that he’s never been stuck with one individual for as long as he’s willingly been with you. 

Rolling his eyes skyward, he thought other factors bound him to your side, such as your time-traveling situation, but your company was welcomed. Despite your argumentative nature, or perhaps because of it, his loneliness was quelled.  

“Do people even know about me?” he asked.

“Not to my knowledge,” you said. “I’m the wrong person to ask. The only person I know here is your father.”

He nodded. He wasn’t expecting good news from you, anyway. He was in no position to change the world, and it wasn’t his goal. Judging by your dull reaction toward the people he’s brought you to meet, who he thought were the most remarkable people to have lived, he thought perhaps nobody was meant to be remembered in great detail. 

He would remember you, though. He figured he ought to. 

“Who cares?” You waved dismissively. “I know you, and I like you.”

Hyunjin chuckled. “It’s not all about you.”

“I know,” you hummed. “What do you want to hear from me, then?” 

His eyes softened. He thought he had already heard you say it, whatever it was that he wanted to hear after spilling his heart out. He lowered his eyes on his lap, at his hand that held yours a moment ago. Maybe it wasn’t about what you said that he needed.

Your presence, your speech, and even the annoyance you caused—illusionary constants, he’s drowned in them, and the feeling recoiling through his body from the lack of air was familiar. 

It was developing too fast. It could not be. He knew this. He felt this before. 

It was the same feeling he felt when he was younger and in love with Princess Deokhye. 

You sat in the staff area of the courtroom, your lids dripping lower as you tried to listen to the king and the court advisors ramble about politics and foreign trades. Some of the issues you have never heard of, some you could surprisingly remember in vague details, and some you knew you’ve failed a test about. The only thing keeping you interested was quietly applying modern solutions to those problems. 

Hyunjin noticed your boredom from across the room and differentiated your micro-expressions in response to the conversations.

Meekly rolling your eyes meant an argument being presented was bigoted and stupid; scrunching your nose with furrowed eyebrows meant you thought the suggestion was plain horrible; quirking a brow meant you were interested or was possibly in agreement; heaving a sigh meant you wanted to leave.

He counted that there were more eye rolls and deep sighs than anything else, meaning the court advisors were not doing good.

Like you, he hasn’t been paying attention to the court meeting. It was baffling that he was even mandated to join when the meeting only required the crown prince and, at most, his older brothers. He has never shown interest in politics. It wasn’t as if he could provide any strategic input. The most outrageous thing was that the king also invited you to join a few weeks ago with the excuse that the kingdom could do well with foreign knowledge. 

You have never spoken in court once. Clearly, that’s a fraudulent reason. 

“Your Majesty, I advise against starting a war, for we do not have the power to win.” 

You sniffed, clueless at how they managed to move away from the topic of war and back to it repeatedly, only to still have no solution. History books did not tell you in detail how these court meetings happened, but you suspected they never came up with a sound solution, as Goguryeo was conquered by Silla with the help of China.

You raised your brows at the thought, suddenly realizing that you may have teleported to a time nearest to the beginning of the war. 

“Oh, that’s not good,” you whispered to yourself. “I gotta get out of here.” 

Supposedly, you whispered that to yourself. However, once your sight returned to you from the overdramatic sequences of pretend war flashbacks, the first person you saw was Hyunjin, whose grimace was wide-eyed and tight-lipped. Minho sat off to the front of him, tilting his head as if processing your secretive words. You pressed your teeth together to form an ugly smile before lowering your head so you could hide behind the back of a court staff sitting in front of you. 

“[Name].” The king has gotten comfortable enough to address you directly by your name. You whimpered quietly; you’ve been here for too long. 

You prayed that pressing your eyes together until you saw flashes would make the king forget you’ve spoken or rewind time so you could shut your mouth on your second chance. But that was wishful thinking; your magical abilities ended at the single-use-only time traveling. Sucking in a defeated sigh, you perked up and acknowledged the king with a forced smile. 

“Yes, Your Majesty?” 

“It appears you have something to add,” he said. “By all means, tell us what you think.” 

“Oh no,” Hyunjin muttered, rubbing his forehead to rid himself of sweat. 

He knew you hadn’t been paying attention and that you were ridiculously good at improvising thoughts of no value on the spot, courtesy of modern knowledge of history and other things.

The king has invited you to join court meetings discussing politics because he thought your inputs, whenever they may come, would contribute to the kingdom. Being called on by the king and not having anything to say was embarrassing. But having the king heed your unprofessional advice was worse. It could destroy the kingdom. 

He rubbed his hands to gather himself. He didn’t think he would still have to defend you after you’ve adjusted and assimilated into Goguryeo. Old habits die hard, he supposed. Preparing to stand up and talk the king down from putting you in the spotlight, a hand reached behind and stopped before him, signaling for him to wait. Hyunjin looked to find Minho staring ahead at you, who stood up to speak. 

“You guys are talking in circles,” you commented. “Someone points out an issue, someone suggests a solution, someone else vetos it, but the same person doesn’t have a better idea–“ you inhaled dramatically, throwing your head back and relaxing your neck to make your head roll about–“and we just keep going around the court with nothing new being said.” 

The court advisors threw you dirty looks, but most have nothing to say. Namely, because you were, to them, still Hyunjin’s cousin. Besides, whatever argument they’ve got to discredit you has been dismissed by the king the first day he invited you to join court meetings. Insulting you without proper proof would be equivalent to insulting the king’s decision. 

“Do you have any suggestions, then? Since you are so eager to insult our pace of work.”

You side-eyed the advisor. If he didn’t ask you, the king would have. You anticipated the question the moment the king called you on, so you have somewhat formulated a decent response. It wasn’t groundbreaking, but at least it would be new. 

“Goguryeo is powerful, but not so much that it would be easy to ask another kingdom to join our forces to defeat another. Asking another monarch to start a war in which you cannot guarantee victory is always risky. The advantages of standing with Goguryeo do not outweigh those risks. With that, Baekje has no reason to join us and not Silla,” you rambled before glaring at an advisor.

"Invading a kingdom without guaranteeing victory, or even attempting to assassinate another monarch will not garner positive results. That is amateur. It is stupid.

“You want to form an alliance and strengthen your borders? To elevate your army? Give Baekje something that Silla cannot provide.”

“That would be?” 

“Do I have to tell you everything?” You spun to face the advisor with a grimace. “Resources, money, and troops are valid offerings.”

“Baekje does not lack those any more than we can provide them!”

“It’s not about whether they lack those resources. The point is to strengthen what they have,” you said. “They have troops, so let’s add more troops. They have money. We can provide them with more.”

He scoffed. “How do you suppose we get them to trust that we will deliver what is promised to them, given that they form an alliance with us?”

“What are you even–“ You shook your head in disbelief, your voice gradually decreasing in volume. “Is the monarch of Goguryeo untrustworthy?” 

Soft gasps littered across the room. Hyunjin grimaced before lowering his head to his hands, exhaling quiet prayers into thin air. You were doing well. He was shocked the hear you response to the king’s question as your advice was sound and plausible, and then you went ahead and insult his title. 

You closed your eyes. No wonder nobody gets anything done in the courtroom. Everyone’s been stepping on eggshells around the king. If the king is an idiot, the whole kingdom reflects the idiocy. 

“Your Majesty,” you called, “are you not to be trusted?” 

He stared at you for a prolonged minute. The silence in the courtroom felt suffocating for that duration, and his intense eyes made it feel as if he planned to throw you into the chambers. But instead of announcing a punishment, he barely shifted on his seat and replied, his voice low. “No. I am someone who keeps my word.” 

“Good,” you said, nodding in approval. “Figure out what you can offer, write a contract, and select a representative to travel to Baekje to propose your request for an alliance.”  

“I will discuss this further,” the king announced after a thoughtful silence, letting the corner-sized commotion drown out. He peered at the rest of the court. “For now, everyone is dismissed.”

Strings of protests from court advisors gradually rose, with their defense being that you knew little to nothing about Goguryeo and its politics. You would agree that the king should not take value in the words coming from a stranger, but you understood that wasn’t the place the advisors were coming from.

You were simply not liked in the palace because of your differences, and you have nothing to say about that. Their refusal to get used to your presence after so long was not your problem. 

Hyunjin met you outside the room after you brushed past everyone leaving their seats and bolted out the door. His brothers flashed amused smiles when he met eyes with them, already knowing he would be late for their mandatory daily hangout after court meetings.

When you saw him turn a corner into the wall you’d hidden yourself behind, you immediately lunged at him and clung onto his arm. Barfing noises released from your mouth, and possibly even the pit of your stomach, and your face morphed with distress.

All the confidence you had when you spoke in front of everyone was long gone; you never knew where it came from in the first place. 

Hyunjin chuckled faintly at your sorry state and hoisted you up by your waist, keeping you steady as he accompanied you to a bench in one of the backyards in the palace. 

“That was bad. That was terrible,” you said with wide, angry eyes. “You need to talk to your dad. Tell him to forget everything I said and listen to his advisors.”

He pressed on your shoulder to sit you down on the bench. “Why? I thought your idea was great. It made sense.” 

There was truth in that. There has to be. The solution to form an alliance with quid pro quo wasn’t an idea you figured out on the spot. Even Goguryeo has experience dealing with foreign issues through means of fair trade even before you stood up in the courtroom and suggested it. Your solution made sense because it’s worked well since the concept was invented. But that wasn’t your concern. 

“It’s not that, Hyunjin,” you muttered, leaning your head into your hands. “I just realized it’s a much bigger issue than I could remember.” 

If your timing was correct, the king and his advisors were discussing how to prevent the eventual fall of Goguryeo after it was conquered by Silla, which would mark an important event in the unification of Korea in the future.

The reason why Korea became the nation you knew was because Silla conquered Goguryeo and Baekje. If, somehow, the king decided to push for Goguryeo and Baekje to form an alliance, causing Silla’s attempt to subjugate both Kingdoms to fail, it could drastically change the future. 

“Maybe I’m overthinking. I’m probably overthinking it,” you mused suddenly as you straightened your back, startling Hyunjin. “Yeah. Yeah? Yeah! I’m overthinking this! I don’t know what’s going to happen! I’m not going to cause the downfall of Korea. I’m not a villain.”

Hyunjin eyed you carefully, not sure what to do. “[Name], are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay!” 

Hyunjin leaned away from your dry, hoarse scream of terror, a sound of pure disgust slipping past his lips at your hysterically widened eyes. You caught onto his quickly recovered distaste like a hawk catching a glimpse of its running prey. When he noticed your eye twitch, he discreetly shifted away from you on the bench, almost falling off the edge.

That was not new, but your twitchy-eyed, clearly annoyed expression never failed to scare him, literally and metaphorically.

Besides the presence of your frustration, whenever your expression begins to morph into that borderline psychopathic gleam, Hyunjin was safe to assume you’re about to do something frowned upon.

After spending so much time with you, he (and possibly Minho) discovered that everything in Goguryeo gets on your nerves. A man being married to multiple women pissed you off; a parent reprimanding their child in public made you act out and almost blow his cover; Minho’s mere existence seemed to tick you off, but Hyunjin supposed that was personal.  

He pushed himself back to the center of the bench. At the same time, you huffed audibly, your shoulders falling into a dramatic slump, and then you turned away from him to stare at the line of rocks creating a path. 

“Don’t ask me anything in detail,” you said. “I don’t want to tell you what happens in the future.” 

You meant well, but the fact that you had to make that point clearly indicated that something terrible would happen. He wouldn’t have asked you about it, though. He would rather suffer when the time comes than be anxious about events he likely cannot change. 

“Generally speaking, then,” Hyunjin started, “what are you fussing over?”

You pressed your elbows to your knee to support your head with your palms. 

The downfall of Goguryeo wasn’t as big an issue to you. You existence could not be guaranteed if you discreetly saved Goguryeo now, but it mattered less than how it could potentially affect Hyunjin’s life. Information about him was nowhere to be found in your notes, so you couldn’t begin to figure out how to prevent an untimely death.

The easiest path for you to take was to make sure Goguryeo won’t fall to its knees before Silla, but that begged whether it is ethical to change history.

Hyunjin raised a brow when he noticed you peeking at him. He always looked innocent, not a version of naivety, only that he had no malice. Your skin was worn beyond your years from surviving the hopeless economy of your time, so standing next to him sometimes made you feel like an ogre. 

He would throw a fit if he heard you talk about yourself like that. The first tantrum you’ve ever seen him throw started because you were downplaying your accomplishments in the future. Years of public education, testing into a university, and joining multiple extracurricular activities. He didn’t understand how irrelevant hard work would soon become on the road to true success. He only knew that you knew how to do so many more things he couldn’t imagine learning. 

On second thought, his innocence did constitute naivety, but you enjoyed that about him. 

“I’m worried about the future, that’s all,” you replied. “My future.”

“America?”

“Yes–uh–no?” You raised a brow. Now didn’t seem like the time to explain that you’ve been lying about where you came from. “I’m talking about Korea, which is what, um, Goguryeo becomes in the future. We’re all somewhat related to each other in my time.”

“Oh.” He looked surprised, and that reaction wouldn’t be inaccurate.

“Yeah,” you muttered. “I’m thinking about how it lead up to that point. The war and alliances and everything.”

“Do we never ally with Baekje? Even during times like this?” Hyunjin asked.

It wasn’t to your knowledge that any alliance was established, but you suspected that if there was one, Silla would not have been able to subjugate both Kingdoms unless they had chosen to assassinate the current monarchs. Even then, though, a kingdom would not fall at their king’s death if he had a son, and Chan wasn’t young enough to be an easy target.

You were unsure about Baekje’s situation, but judging by the court advisor’s idea to assassinate Baekje’s monarch, you assumed their crown prince must be young enough to be manipulated. 

“No, I don’t think you guys tried to ally with any kingdom.” You shook your head and rubbed your chin, staring at the floor. “But why? Why didn’t Goguyryeo?”

Was the kingdom overconfident in its ability to fight? Perhaps, but that couldn’t be the case. The king was already talking about the issue regarding Silla. He hasn’t put an order in place to execute precautions besides the suggestion you provided yet, but clearly, he wasn’t ignoring the situation. Could it be that he attempted but failed? The king heeded the advisor’s advice and sent an assassin to kill the king of Baekje, leaving his son in charge. Instead of overruling the kingdom, Goguryeo decided to ask for an alliance. 

“Ugh… no.” You pulled a face at the ridiculous assumption. If you were a king, you would have overruled a kingdom without a stable monarch the first chance you got. 

“What are you thinking about?” Hyunjin asked, poking the side of your cheek after he lowered his face to your level. 

You averted your eyes to look at him. Your shadows were big enough to bump heads on the floor, and the sun couldn’t bother you as much when you lowered your head like this. Removing your hands from your face, you pressed them to your chest, sandwiching them between your thighs, and you shrugged at him with a smirk. The real issue was convoluted. You didn’t wish to bother anyone with it.

“I’m thinking about home,” you said. 

“I see.” He shifted, or swayed gently with his torso. “You’ve never told me about that before.”

You tilted your head. “I’ve talked to you about Kore–America before.”

“No, not the place,” he clarified. “What are you like there? You told me about all these things, but I’ve never heard stories of your experiences with them.”

He was surprised that you didn’t overshare with him; at the same time, he couldn’t believe he had never asked you more about yourself. What you told him about the future took longer to process than anticipated.

Everything felt impossible, borderline a fantasy—carriages that move on gas and electricity, a light source without a candle or the sun, machines that can manually change a room’s temperature. Even when you have proof of their existence, he sometimes wondered if you spoke only to get a reaction out of him.

You licked the corner of your lips in thought before sitting back up. He followed, his body turning to face you in anticipation. 

“I go to school,” you said.

“I knew that already.”

“Okay.” You rolled your eyes and smacked your lips. You weren’t selective about what you wanted to tell him. You just weren’t sure what would be interesting. “I live alone, which is quite an accomplishment because we don’t have rent control. I work late at night on weekdays because I have most of my classes in the morning.”

“Do you have friends back there?” he asked. 

You tilted your head with furrowed brows. “Are you looking for gossip?”

“No,” he said. “I’m just curious.”

“That’s exactly what someone looking to hear gossip would say,” you said. 

“Fine, then I am looking for gossip.”

You nudged his side with your elbow, your lips pursing into a dissatisfied line. Rolling your eyes away from his face, you inhaled deeply to remember your life in the future. 

You haven’t forgotten anything; it would have been difficult to even if you tried because of how frequently you made comparisons between Goguryeo and Korea. Mainly the difference in technological advancement. You haven’t had to do so many things manually in a while—cooking without a microwave, bathing without a shower head, and lord forbid you wanted a refreshing cup of ice water.

“I have a few friends there. We were supposed to hang out after midterms,” you said, lowering your gaze to the floor. “We always hangout after exams are finished. We would go out for lunch first, and then sometimes we will hang out at one of our homes, or we go out for karaoke.”

“That sounds fun,” he hummed. 

“How would you know? You’ve never heard of karaoke,” you retorted with a mildly condescending tone, which he was used to. 

He rolled his eyes and pulled away from you, folding his arms over his chest with a scowl. “Would you rather I say I think that’d be boring? Huh? Oh, you go out for karaoke–that sounds dumb!”

You laughed in his face, leaving quiet curses behind as you turned away from his short-lived tantrum. You were planning to explain to him what karaoke is, but pettiness ordered you to leave that off the table until the topic’s revisit. The tension in your shoulders faded slowly upon the end of your also short-lived banter, and you sighed up at the sky once your mind began to plague itself with memories of the modern days. 

“I wonder where I am,” you said.

“What do you mean?” he muttered, letting go of his crossed arms and scooting back closer to you. “Like, where your body is? In the future?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “There have never been real accounts of time traveling, so I’m not sure what happened outside of me being here. My body could have fainted where I was when I came here, but I hope that’s not the case. I hope I’ve just gone missing.”

You have a theory about your whereabouts in the future, which was the latter. You’ve likely just gone missing, considering you didn’t switch bodies with someone in the past. The only way for your body to lack an occupant in the future and for you to exist in Goguryeo would probably have to be that you were dreaming. You didn’t think you could exist in two different times at once, even if your body was dormant in one of those times.

The hypothesis that you were in a dream was plenty plausible. Given that there have been no real accounts of anyone's time traveling, it could be one or two things.

One, people realized their experience was only a dream. You were suspicious of that, as people would usually talk about uncannily vivid dreams like the one you could be experiencing. Yet, you’ve heard rarely heard of any. That left the second point: nobody remembered. You time travel, live a whole life in the past, wake up with very few traces of it, and chalk it up to the science of people forgetting their dreams. 

You looked at Hyunjin, your eyes dimming almost sorrowfully. 

It didn’t make sense. Your instincts screamed otherwise. If everything was only a dream, your immediate and genuine concern about changing the future through fixing the past would be ridiculous. You have also never met or brushed past anyone who looked like Hyunjin back in the future. Your brain can only build from things you know. Your mind couldn’t come up with him from scratch. 

“You’re real, right?” you asked suddenly. “How do you feel? Do you feel real?”

“What–“ He giggled under his breath. “Yeah, I feel real. I’m me. Do I feel real to you?”

You squinted your eyes playfully before pulling your lips into a dramatic grimace. Your shoulders were hunched up as you shook your head in faux doubt, but the immediate laugher told him that you were fooling around. He groaned, but he wasn’t annoyed, just used to it. He pinched your cheeks hard enough it stretched your skin and stung. You retaliated by mirroring his movement, pulling at his face hard enough that it stretched his skin and stung. 

“Stop it!” he yelled.

“You first!”

He let go and slapped his palms to your face, almost knocking you awake from this childish catfight. He smirked in triumph when you widened your eyes in shock at the pain. 

“The pain is real, isn’t it?” he said, his voice airy for whatever reason. “I’m real, [Name]. We both are.”

You quieted down. You weren’t talking in the first place, but the air around you depleted the second you calmed. His skin was mellow against your palm, his face solid in your hands. He was always there when you looked, almost like a ghost who could travel at the speed of light, or perhaps you two were simply never apart from each other. It has been weeks, almost two months, and you’ve never felt he was unreal in any capacity. Your instincts screamed so. 

Hyunjin was real. He felt so. 

You were afraid of that.

“I hope I don’t forget you when I leave.” 

You smiled at him and didn’t say anything. 

The order for you to travel to Baekje as Goguryeo’s representative for negotiation made you visibly gag in the courtroom. 

“What was that?” Minho whispered behind him, and when he turned around, he was once again met with Hyunjin muttering prayers with his head in his hands. He twisted his waist further toward his brother and smacked the side of his head. “Can you calm down?”

Hyunjin perked up at the pain that subsided quickly and wasn’t able to serve as a good enough distraction to the anxiety-inducing offer—order—his father gave you. He glared at Minho briefly as retaliation because his hands were occupied with cupping his head. Then his eyes shifted to find you looking back at him from across the courtroom.

Your lid twitched, which usually meant annoyance, but this time, it doubled as a cry for help. He sucked in a deep breath; he wasn’t sure if he could. 

The impending war was too important for his father to neglect. Whatever trifling reason he or you could come up with to deny the king’s demand would fall on deaf ears. But he didn’t understand why you were chosen and was sure you couldn’t either. It took the palace a while to understand your peculiar circumstance, which was already modified to omit the truth.

What made his father think Baekje would listen to a traveler immediately instead of a court advisor? 

“Is this a request I can turn down, Your Majesty?” you asked. 

The king hummed. “Do you have good reasons to?”

“I do,” you replied. 

“Then it is not a request you can deny.”

“You think you’re so funny,” you whispered after a heavy sigh, looking away to concentrate on swallowing a choked-up breath. At the same time, the pit of your stomach churned like you’ve got food poisoning. “What have you got, then?”

The king signaled toward a court advisor in the crowd. The man hastily stood up, bowed at the throne, and turned to you with a rough clear of his throat. 

“After careful consideration, the king has decided to–“

The doors slammed open. You spun around to find Princess Deokhye stomping with her lady in waiting nervously scrambling behind her. 

“How could you, father!” she exclaimed, almost tearfully. She swatted away her lady-in-waiting, who rushed to her side immediately after she stopped walking to urge her to cease her tantrum. Her body conveniently moved to face your side of the courtroom, and when she met eyes with you, she scowled, shifting the blame from her father to you.

She stomped toward you, the jewelry pieces in her hair threatening to fall off her mad head. “You! You insolent, good-for-nothing scum of the Earth!”

“What did I do now?” You stepped back and held your arms up in surrender once she was near enough for you to feel her breath on your face. Flipping a side of your face away from her, you muttered, “This has to be a gross misunderstanding.” 

“Was it not you who suggested forming an alliance with Baekje?” she accused, stepping closer to you the more you backtracked. “Did you not put the idea of marrying me off to a crown prince? To use my marriage as a catalyst for our Kingdoms’ union!”

You snapped your head toward the king. He chose not to see his daughter when he spoke, “We have decided to marry Princess Deokhye to the crown prince of Baekje. Once we have that familial tie, our alliance would be guaranteed.”

Your jaw dropped, as did most of those present in the courtroom. A diplomatic marriage was not your intention when you suggested using an offering to strengthen the union between Goguryeo and Baekje, but the king was wise to insert marriage into his strategy. It was unfortunate that Goguryeo had no other princess but Deokhye, and it would be illogical to present a son, as one could not marry a son off, only a daughter. 

Averting your gaze from the distressed princess, you briefly brushed past the king’s face before looking behind Deokhye’s shoulder at Hyunjin. He had sat up straighter, his focus dumped entirely on you and the princess. The bridge of his nose, the space between his brows leading down to the tip of his nose, was faintly scrunched. He looked like he was thinking, processing what Princess Deokhye accused you of. When you caught his eyes, your fingers curled uncontrollably into a flinch. 

How could you forget how he felt about her? You wanted to deny her accusation. You refused to be the person who seals his chance with Deokhye after he poured his heart out to you about how he felt. It simply could not be you. Swallowing hard, you inwardly shook off the shivers. He was present in the courtroom when you gave the council the idea. He even told you he thought it was logical and sensible. He knew you didn’t cause this. But why? Why did he look so upset?

“I did suggest forming an alliance with Baekje through offering something in return, but I did not directly suggest a diplomatic marriage. That was a decision made without my presence,” you said. “I made a point that the resource offered needn’t be unique or human. It only has to strengthen.”

“I did not choose this.” You held her gaze to not challenge her but give her the truth. “We have our grievances, but I will never do that to you.”

“But it is already done. My fate is sealed,” she argued after a short moment. Her eyes glimmered with tears, seemingly more frustrated after hearing your sincerity. “All because you decided to tell His Majesty that we needed help for a war that may not even happen!”

You wanted to tell her that it would. It would happen, and Goguryeo would fall, and her fate as a woman in a fallen kingdom where her father is no longer respectable would arguably be worse than being married off to a crown prince. You wanted to tell her that she has no perception of current political conflicts because she was not allowed to be involved. Therefore, she would have never known how possible the approach of a war was. You wanted to tell her that her father was already considering forming an alliance prior to your suggestion.

But her sorrow was understandable. You believed in the immorality of both an arranged marriage and being a bad father, but neither of those was her perspective of the hand she was dealt with, which you also understood.

You saw this situation as an outsider; you believed people should marry who they love and a father should never play their children as pawns. Princess Deokhye saw this as the end of her life; she could no longer be with the man she wanted, and her father had abandoned her for his kingdom. 

“What–what are you doing?” she huffed in distaste when you took her delicate hand and brought her to the middle of the courtroom. She snatched herself away with a grimace, rubbing her skin on her dress. “Don’t touch me.”

“Your Majesty,” you called, looking up with Princess Deokhye standing awkwardly by your side. “I would like to object to your decision to marry Princess Deokhye to the Crown Prince of Baekje.” 

Gasps littered the room. You seemed to be the star of the show a lot recently. 

“How dare you! Haven’t you said enough, outsider!”

“Father–I mean–Your Majesty!” Hyunjin shot up from his seat, attempting to step past his brothers to stand before you and reword your sentence. “Your Majesty, please–“

“You have gone against me every step I take, [Name],” the king began, then he slowly smirked. “Surprisingly, I have yet to hear you utter a single thoughtless point. So, if you may, what do you suggest?”

You stopped breathing. A good king does not thrive when feared. A good king listens and considers.

King Taejo is a good king.

You smiled at Princess Deokhye. For once, she did not scowl. She stared at you with her round, wide eyes. Her hands curled uncomfortably to her side, never having anyone stand up for her before His Majesty before. She almost wanted to stop you, knowing what kind of death sentence you were welcomed into your arms, but she didn’t. Like a child, she waited patiently for you to save her the way her older brothers were unable to, the way her mother was unwilling to.

Apologizing for your lack of malicious intent when the results reflected how it would have been if you did have ill intentions was tone-deaf. As she said, her fate was sealed. You were not the decision maker, but this was partially your fault. Your suggestion led to this—

“A diplomatic marriage is certainly a choice, but what if you offer Baekje knowledge never once encountered? Knowledge from beyond this land and the oceans?” you mused, taking a deep breath and smiling. “What if you offer me instead?

—so you would take accountability for it.

[coldercreation]

Than you for writing this series! It's definitely my fave series on ao3!!! Have you ever talked about how the pack fist got together before Nat? I was/am curious about it, but dunno if you ever answered an ask about it!! :c

Them getting together was (luckily) pretty uncomplicated and smooth!:

Kit and Liam grew up together as neighbours, which I think I’ve mentioned somewhere before. It’ll briefly come up in CYE part 2 as well.

Liam got scouted back when he was playing for his home town’s semi-professional football team. After some trials, he got an offer to train/play professionally and full-time with the bigger club, and in a higher league. Kit had been looking into unis at the time, planning to stay in town since Liam still had a year left before he was done with schooling.

Originally Liam’s plan had been to follow Kit to whichever uni he would choose, although Liam had never liked studying nor did he have any idea what he’d even study at uni. The club’s offer was like a dream come true and the biggest relief for Liam. (For both of them really: Liam had already had a couple of good cries about not wanting to go to uni, but also not knowing what else to do, which obviously broke Kitty’s lil heart. So when Liam told him he got the offer, it was Kit who teared up. babby :’( )

Laddies had always been attached from the hip, so they didn’t even think about going their separate ways. It was all good, except for like one minute when Liam freaked out about everything, thinking that the only way to stick together was if he turned the offer down, so they could both just go to Kit’s first choice uni in town.

Kit basically just laughed in his face, told Liam to fuck off, and then drove his arse halfway across the country to the football club to sign the contract. Kit applied to the unis in the town where Liam's new club was, he got in, and they moved. Liam finished his last year and his exams under the club’s academy, started officially playing with the pro team, and Kit started his Web Design/IT course at uni (his art ho soul weeped but overall he was content with the choice).

Isac entered the same uni the same year as Kit, but his course was journalism. He moved from another town as well. Isac’s not super close with his family - nothing too dramatic, his parents are just a bit distant => not that emotionally available.🤷🏻‍♂️ Isac has an older sister but she’s got like 15 years on him and they’re rarely in touch, she lives abroad. They get along fine as a family, whenever they meet up.

Since he didn't have any strong feelings about sticking around where he grew up, Isac wanted to go to uni somewhere else. He also wanted to try living in a bigger town. He’s always had a lot of people to hang out with, but back then he didn’t really have any close friends who’d have influenced his decisions for where to move. He did know some people who got accepted to the same uni as him, so he wasn’t too intimidated by moving to the student halls and the new, large town alone. (Liam's club helped him get a decent two-bed flat in the town centre, so instead of paying for the crowded student halls, Kit was able to share with Liam.)

Because Isac is a social butterfly, the fact that Kit was in a different department and on the opposite end of the campus, didn’t stop them from running into each other. Just like nothing could stop Isac from just casually strolling into one of the IT labs, located deep in the secluded basement levels. Dude was 100% just snooping around lol, and also maybe trying to prove that the uni’s public student computers had shit Wi-Fi for no reason?? Anyways. The IT labs were always freezing, but the Wi-Fi was better, and the fit alpha with the dark curls and addictive scent always let him steal a jumper or two, so whatevers.

Long story short, Isac soon demanded to meet Kit’s A mate. Kit said in tiny that he didn’t have a mate. Isac gently called bullshit. Liam and Kit finally had a verbal conversation about what they had always just silently agreed on, and officially acknowledged that they’d be sticking together just like they always had. They’d been somewhat physical with each other before Iz, but it had always been more experimental(when they were younger) or lazy-chill-not serious(when they were bored). When Liam finally met Isac, Isac took one look at him and immediately wanted to climb him like a tree. Turned out the tall, muscly tree could get all sweet and blushy, so Isac had no other option but to keep him, too. Because Kit was already a goner for Iz and happily hostage-d. 

-

Eyy, and that’s about it! Congrats and thank you if you read this far hehe! :’)

There’s some other stuffs that happened after this point of course, but bits of it will be mentioned in CYE part 2, so I’ll save it there.

Thank you very much for the lovely message! I'm soso glad you've liked the story so much, that makes meh super happy<3 

[notchesandbullets]

Saving Her (Ojiro Mashirao x Wolf!Reader)

Part 6: Shopping for clothes, food court and boba experience served with Ashido’s endless shipping and topped off with an incredibly protective Dadzawa.

Word Count: 5.8k

After another hour of shopping around the huge mall, Aizawa decided now would probably be a good time to try and round his students up. Since if there were any problems tracking down those problematic and ridiculously talented children, he could deal with it before it got too late and past their curfew.

Besides, you still needed clothes and he was not equipped to handle that. As Kayama said, he had the fashion sense of an emo teenager going through his rebellious phase. The thing was, she had been saying that since she met him, so it lost its effect a long time ago.

"Heeyy, Ojiro-kun!! Y/N-chan!!!"

The both of you turned around to see Uraraka waving enthusiastically at you. Yaoyorozu and Ashido were with her, along with Shoji, Asui and Hagakure coming from the opposite direction.

Ojiro had spared his teacher from having to call all of them and simply sent a message in the group chat.

You didn't even want to know how often they used it based off of the glance you got when he pulled out his phone and let you see. In the span of the six-inch screen, you had caught a glimpse of topics ranging from food to homework to bodily functions and your head was spinning.

Aizawa sighed boredly and you threw him a sly side glance as Jirou, Kaminari and Ojiro ran out to meet the rest of the group once the boy by your side ensured you would stay with the only one responsible here.

"You're not really tired, are you, Aizawa-sensei?" You asked cheekily, skipping over to him.

He huffed out a laugh as he leaned against the wall. "You're cute, kid. Cut it out."

"I can't help it~" You whined, pouting childishly.

You protested as he ruffled your hair. Unlike when Ojiro did it, he was rougher and always messed it up. Nearly patting it down so it laid flat, you glared and the nerve he had to laugh outright at you had your mock frown wavering into a bright smile.

The sound made your eyes sparkle happily and he caught on quick.

"You did that on purpose, kid." He stated with a sigh, already feeling himself succumbing to your adorable nature.

No one should be that cute. It wasn't good for his heart.

He raised an eyebrow at you as you scuffed your feet on the ground, a cheeky smile still plastered on your face.

Aizawa ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head slightly. You were cute, even with how reluctant he was to admit to sometimes. Damn, he was getting a soft spot for you.

But the instant Ashido cooed, he returned to his stiff, normal, rugged teacher self.

"Alright, get going." He said dryly, gently redirecting you towards Ojiro who was holding out his hand to you before following. "We don't have all day."

"Technically, we do." Kaminari whispered in your ear and you giggled, covering it up with Aizawa fixated a glare on the two of you.

You held up your hand in surrender. "We are innocent."

"Yeah, yeah, likely story." Aizawa didn't believe you for a second. "Just go."

You skipped on ahead, Ojiro glued to your side. The girls flocked around you, Yaoyorozu leading the group to a different clothing store that she and her companions had been at earlier. This seemed much more suited to you, not to mention, a lot more affordable.

You were picking out a couple of things that seemed nice but you were really taking a gamble. You never had been clothes shopping before and weren't really sure what to expect. People mostly dressed you in whatever they wanted you to be presented in.

Luckily, Yaoyorozu swooped in to help.

Ojiro was surprisingly pretty knowledgeable about fashion too and when asked, he had blushed before proudly gushing about his little sister who he usually took on all her shopping trips when their parents were busy working. She had quite an acute fashion sense.

A huge pile of clothes later, you were shoved into a fitting room, with Shoji, Kaminari, Ojiro and Aizawa all waiting outside like some kind of odd band.

Either that, or a very disgruntled dad who was forced to tag along with all his unusual children.

The girls were gushing over each item that you put on, rushing out to get different sizes if the ones they picked didn't fit, making you show the boys and guardian everything that you liked.

You tended to gravitate more towards comfy clothes but there were a few Yaoyorozu and Hagakure found that were both beautiful and versatile. Those were an immediate yes from Aizawa and Ojiro, wanting you to have as much variety as possible.

Everything the girls had picked out that you show them complimented your figure beautifully but was still modest.

While you weren't looking, Shoji had selected some shoes for you, noticing that the ones you had one were practically falling apart on your feet. They were sturdy but had a geometric pattern that you found you rather liked a lot.

Thanking him, you beamed and he hid a smile.

Aizawa paid for all of it without batting an eye and you felt guilty for making him spend his money.

"You're not making me do anything, kid." He called out, as if he could read your thoughts. "I'm doing this because I want to provide for you, not because I feel forced to, got it?"

Besides, he had more than enough thanks to his hero work and teaching at the school. He rarely splurged on anything, the last thing being his old yellow sleeping bag which he had gotten years ago.

This wasn't even going to make a dent in the funds he had saved up.

You sniffled, nodding once. His bluntness took you by surprise but you concealed it well. You had no idea he could be so caring. You were overwhelmed by his generosity and the kindness of the people that surrounded you.

How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve this?

Aizawa's hands grasped empty air where the bags had been a minute ago, glancing at his students who were now in possession of your newly purchased things but shrugged, leaving them to it. Less work for him.

He watched them stumble one after another, all of them eagerly making their way to the food court. He checked the time on his phone, suppressing a yawn. It was about time to eat anyway.

Finally. He could sit down and take a nap.

You yelped as Ashido suddenly grasped your arm, pulling you along and you stumbled a few feet before righting yourself. Your hand slipped out of Ojiro's and you shouted in surprise as she took off like a racecar.

"Wha... Where are we going?!" You exclaimed as she sped ahead, dragging you along with her and leaving everyone else in the dust.

She excitedly pointed up ahead and you followed her finger.

"What's 'bubble tea'?" You asked innocently, never hearing of it before.

Your friend gasped in shock that you had never had the pleasure of experiencing the best thing in the world but then the wicked smile that crossed her face as she got behind the line was borderline evil.

"Oh, you're going to love this!!" Ashido said, her eyes gleaming.

When it was your turn, Ojiro finally caught up to the two of you. He was out of breath but all the tension in his body dissipated as he spotted you, safe and sound next to the pink girl. Unknown to you, he had zipped after you the second your hand slipped out of his but he had gotten swarmed by the crowd and lost sight of you.

Thankfully, Ashido hadn't taken you too far.

You squeaked, drawing your hands into your chest as you were crushed to his chest. "O-Ojiro-kun?"

"Geez, Y/N." He breathed, exasperated. "Don't scare me like that."

His scolding was light since he obviously knew it wasn't your fault but he was still concerned. You mumbled an apology and he hastily corrected his mistake, reassuring you that you didn't do anything wrong and you sank into his embrace, relieved.

Seeing as how it was your turn to order, he reluctantly let you go. You wandered up to the counter to shyly ask the barista what was good for someone who hadn't tried boba before and the girl launched into an advertisement of all her favorites.

Ojiro was busy sending a quick message to Aizawa to let him know that he had found you when Ashido slinked into his field of vision.

She bumped his hip with hers, pumping a fist into the air. "Oh, lighten up Ojiro, she's safe with me!! I won't let anybody take her!!"

She knew of the people after you but she had no idea about the incident that had occurred inside one of the stores just hours ago. As Ojiro clued her in, her eyes went wide and filled with guilt.

"Holy... I'm so sorry, I had no idea." She said, shoulders dropping as her usual energy dulled down. "Is she okay?"

Ojiro nodded, not once taking his eyes off of you. "Yeah, she was a bit shaky at first, but who wouldn't be? I think she's okay so long as we don't leave her."

Ashido nodded understandingly.

Seeing as how you were having trouble deciding what to get after a multitude of options from the enthusiastic barista, you turned back to Ojiro helplessly.

He slid up behind you, hands on your waist as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Can we please have one regular milk tea with tapioca, a chai milk tea, and a taro milk tea with no ice, half sugar and tapioca, please?" He requested of the nice girl behind the counter, squeezing your side to let you know that everything was alright and you relaxed in his embrace.

Talking to strangers freaked you out even though she seemed nice enough. You just didn't like looking like an idiot who didn't know what they were doing, lacking the social skills everyone else seemed to have no problems with.

Ashido beamed, hopping over from looking at the menu to where the two of you were standing.

"No way, you remembered my order?!" She shrieked in disbelief and awe as she heard the complicated order. "Ojiro, you're amazing!!"

You had to agree with that statement. She proceeded to tell you of the time when she ordered it back when they were at Yaoyorozu's house to study for the upcoming exam, saying that there's no other way he could've heard it if it wasn't from back then.

You latched onto her story as if it was the most incredible thing in the world.

As Ojiro paid for the drinks, you helped carry them back to the table where Aizawa was sitting, Ashiso slurping on her drink already with a dazed look of joy on her face.

The underground hero looked out of place with children, families and teenagers milling around him.

He was sitting at a table by himself with several huge bags from various stores, most of which were very girly in design, signifying everyone's purchases. Seemed like everyone had left their stuff with him. You felt kind of bad but he looked like he didn't care so you suppressed it.

You set down the cups, glancing around the packed food court.

"Where's everybody else?" You asked.

Aizawa gestured to the ramen stands on the opposite side of the food court. "It's close to dinnertime, so they went to go get some food."

On cue, Ashido's stomach rumbled loudly.

"Oops." She grinned, tossing the now empty cup in a nearby trash can. "That's my cue!!"

Your eyes were as wide as saucers. "You finished it already?! It's been two minutes!!"

Flashing you a megawatt smile, she flounced off in another direction, presumably to get some food.

Uncertainly, you sank down in a chair across from Aizawa. Now that you thought about it, you were kind of hungry, but this was normal. All you had to do was not think about it and then the urges would go away.

Eventually.

You really didn't want to ask them to buy you anything, they didn't owe you anything and they've already done so much for you. One day without food wouldn't kill you.

Aizawa could read you better than that.

"Ojiro."

The boy looked up as his teacher called his name.

"She's hungry. Go get some gyūdon for her." Aizawa instructed without batting an eye at your flabbergasted expression.

It would be easy enough on your stomach, since he was sure you lacked the proper nutrients you needed for a girl your age. This would suffice for now until he could come up with a meal plan for you to get adjusted to your new normal. He was not going to have you starve from now on.

Nodding once, Ojiro sped towards where they were selling it but not before his teacher halted him to hand him ¥10,000. His eyes widened as he took in the hefty amount.

He looked mildly uncomfortable. "Aizawa-sensei—"

"Get something for yourself too, I don't care what you choose." Aizawa interrupted swiftly, his hard stare leaving no room for argument. "Make sure it's an appropriate enough meal for dinner though."

As Ojiro left to go hunt down some gyūdon, you swung your legs happily, beaming at the gruff man sitting across from you. His rough exterior and indifferent demeanor hid it well, but you still saw it. That softness in his gaze when he thought no one else was looking. He loved his students.

"Stop that." He said flatly as he caught you staring but you just giggled.

"I can't help it." You countered, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, your ears swiveling easily. "It's cute."

Aizawa snorted at that. "Enough, Y/N."

You conceded but the laughter in your eyes didn't fade and he shook his head, already done with your antics.

You knew exactly how much you were annoying him, which is why you were surprised when he suddenly asked you,

"How are you doing with all of this?"

He scrutinized you closely and your mouth opened and closed, at a loss for words. The possibility of you having done something wrong crossed your mind and your anxiety spiked.

Glancing down, you squeaked. "What do you mean?"

His eyes narrowed at you and you gulped.

Aizawa sighed, running a hand through his hair. He should've phrased it better. He knew by now you were insecure of your place, still figuring things out for yourself. His class had been a culture shock to you.

"How are you adjusting?" He corrected himself quietly, studying your facial expressions.

You contemplated his question before giving your answer.

"I think I'm doing okay," You said slowly, scratching your fluffy ears in thought. "It's been kind of weird having a place to call home and people who actually don't see me as a pet but it's nice."

Aizawa's jaw ticked and he clenched his hand into a fist at your honesty, overcome with the sudden urge to hunt down the Quirk Traffickers right then and there. He was taken aback by such a strong feeling.

The last time he felt something like this was when the League of Villains threatened his students at USJ.

Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself down. He was a pro, he knew how to handle himself better than this.

However, all logic and reasoning fled the instant he saw it.

Aizawa moved faster than you could blink, catching the wrist inching towards your ears in an iron grip and stopped them from making contact.

"Don't touch her." He seethed, warning coming through clear as his eyes flashed red, the pressure on the boy's wrist making it clear that he would snap it if he so much as looked at you again.

As a pro-hero, he wasn't allowed to threaten them with bodily harm, but he couldn't help the anger that bubbled up when the gang of boys tried to lay their filthy hands on you.

"Are you okay?" He asked again but for a different reason than before as security intervened and took over.

You nodded, slightly dazed at how fast it happened.

You hadn't even sensed them behind you, caught up in your conversation with him that you had lost awareness of your surroundings. You felt a bit ashamed of your own helplessness but grateful that he had protected you. Your ears were sensitive and touching them was an intimate gesture reserved only privileged for certain people.

"Do you want to leave?" He asked caringly, eyes concerned, not taking any measures to hide his worry.

You shook your head. You weren't that shaken up. He took care of it before anything even happened. You almost were completely unaffected.

"I'm okay..." You mumbled, fiddling with your hands in your lap as your fingers shook. "Thank you, Aizawa-sensei."

He nodded to you before sinking back down in his chair. You picked up where he left off, asking about his well being. He seemed surprised to hear you ask about him but he answered that he was fine.

You seemed disappointed in his reply but before he could follow it up with a very brief elaboration, you cut him off.

"Do you think anyone will want me?" You asked, tears pricking the corner of your eyes as the more recent development started to catch up to you.

You were sure that if you didn't have these ears and tail that people wouldn't just try to touch you out of nowhere. You were sure that if you had a different quirk, maybe your parents wouldn't have given you up.

"What did I do wrong?" You whispered brokenly.

Aizawa's heart shattered as he heard that. "You didn't do anything wrong, kid."

You sniffled, ears drooping sadly. "But... But if I—"

"It's not your fault that they left, they were shitty parents for leaving you." He interrupted brazenly with a fire that took you aback as he swore in front of you. "You deserve someone better than people who leave at the drop of a hat."

He seemed like he was speaking from experience but you didn't pry further, certain he was already uncomfortable with all your anxiety and insecurities.

"You didn't have to do all of this, you know." The defeat in your small voice made him bristle.

Who the fuck treated you so bad that you didn't expect decent respect and kindness?

"You signed the paper but you don't actually have to do any of the stuff it says." You continued quietly, not noticing how the man across from you was shaking with anger. "I can find another place to stay, you won't have to pay for anything, I can manage on my own. I don't want to be a burden to someone as nice as you."

If he was angry before, he was livid now.

You jumped as he suddenly stood up, chair falling over from the force, drawing the attention of a couple of bystanders.

He strode over to you, crouching down in front of you. The bags piled high on the table obstructed the view for most of the people around you and they begrudgingly went about their business when he glared at them.

You, however, couldn't look away.

"You better listen, kid, because I'm only going to say this once." Aizawa ground out, jaw ticking. "I didn't sign that agreement out of pity. I signed it because I want you to be able to live a life not hindered by fear. I don't want you to have to live looking over your shoulder everyday because you're scared you're being followed, that's why I signed it."

You were at a loss of words by how passionate he was. The emotion cracked his steady tone and betrayed his true state. He was frazzled by your half-conscious words you spewed out, taking them to heart and relating to you on another level entirely.

"Were... were you..." You trailed off.

You couldn't bear to say it.

But he shook his head. "Not Quirk Traffickers. But I was raised by people who weren't exactly kind or the forgiving type."

He didn't divulge anything else and you didn't point it out, knowing he said that to you more for your own benefit rather than your own. Similar to you, he didn't seem like he wanted pity. He said it so that you saw that he understood.

"You're not living out on the streets. I'm not doing any of this because I feel like I have to, I told you, I want to do it." He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "Look, kid, you might not see it yet, but I actually don't mind taking care of you, okay? If you find someone else you want to live with, that's fine."

You were about to object that you couldn't envision someone caring for you like he had but you couldn't get a word in edgewise.

"I will talk to them first, though, before you go with them." Aizawa continued authoritatively, slipping into da— teacher mode. "If they're unsuited to care for you or if they're criminals then you can't go with them until they prove to me that they can take proper care of you and keep you safe. If you— Why are you laughing?"

You had doubled over in a fit of giggles, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes as you laughed uncontrollably.

He lifted an eyebrow, unamused. "Kid, what are you doing?"

You bit your lip but your eyes creased, giving your smile away. "I-I can't breathe!!"

It took a couple seconds and several deep breaths but you finally got ahold of yourself and cleared up his confusion.

"It's just... you sound a lot like a dad, or at least, I think that's what a dad sounds like." You tapped a finger to your chin thoughtfully, mulling it over.

You completely missed the way he froze when he heard you say 'dad'.

Swinging your legs, you ducked your head. "I... I know I didn't say this before, and you could definitely say no if you want to!! But, I-I d-don't really want to have anyone else be my guardian."

Aizawa was able to breathe a little bit better after hearing you say that and his eyes softened.

You squeaked as his hand plopped on your head, ruffling your hair and being careful not to knock into your ears.

With great difficulty, he held back a smile. "Alright, kid, we can do that."

Your ears perked up and he gave you a lopsided smile, but the fondness in his gaze was unmistakable. Goodness, he would put away all the villains in the world just to see you this happy.

"Really?!" You practically shouted and he chuckled, not even caring about the dirty looks the two of you were getting as a result of your loud volume.

He shrugged to hide the skip his heart did when you looked up at him so lovingly. "Sure, I'll talk to Principal Nezu later and see if we can work out a more permanent arrangement."

"Adoption?" You asked curiously.

The innocent question sent his heart rate spiking and he nearly choked on air. You had no idea just how bad he wanted to adopt you.

"Don't you want me to foster you first, kid?" He joked but it came out strained.

That was a pretty big decision to make and usually the adult was the one to decide to take on a kid. For you to bring it up so casually caught him off-guard.

You frowned, pouting slightly. Maybe you moved too fast. Obviously, he wanted to see if he could even handle a mutt like you before he even though about adopting you and—

"Stop that."

His sharp command whistled through the noise in your head and you blinked, focusing on his face and wincing at the intensity of his narrowed eyes.

"Whatever you're thinking, I didn't suggest fostering because I don't want to adopt you. I just want you to be sure you want to have me as your... parent." Aizawa finished, unsure if he had earned the right to call himself your dad yet.

He shuffled over to the other end of the table and righted his displaced chair. "You'll turn 18 soon enough and by then you could live on your own if you want."

Ah, there it was.

Your expression cleared. He was worried you wanted him to adopt him only to find out you guys couldn't get along for whatever reason and then up and leave. Whether it was you or him doing the leaving, it would impact you both and he didn't want you to make a mistake you would regret.

Adoption was a serious decision and it wasn't like either one of you could get out of it if it didn't work out.

You weren't completely oblivious. You knew there was a chance of this failing, but you were willing to take this chance and he was willing to accept you into his life more permanently.

To know that he was thinking of you first only sealed the deal.

You swallowed hard. You only had courage to say this once.

"I don't remember my parents or what they were like. I only know what it's like to have friends because Ojiro-kun showed me how. I don't know what to expect when it comes to having a dad to depend on or anything like that." You took a deep breath, growing quieter. "But... I do want someone like that one day."

Even if it didn't come right away. You could wait. You waited an eternity, what was a little longer?

Aizawa nodded, understanding where you were coming from. "Well then, I'll talk it over to Nezu and make sure my adopting you won't affect you getting into UA."

Your jaw dropped to the floor. "What?!"

"Uh huh," He clicked his tongue absentmindedly as he scrolled through his texts on his phone, completely disregarding your shock. "He said you could enroll in the general studies but off the record, you'll be taking hero courses."

They didn't want to attract the traffickers' attention. They would keep you under the radar as much as possible while you attended.

Pocketing the handheld device, leaned back in his seat. "You're a good kid, Y/N."

You beamed at him and he cracked a smile. No matter what you went through, you always seemed to bounce right back. No matter how bleak the darkness was, your light burned even brighter.

One day, you were going to be a force to be reckoned with. He could already see it.

"You'll still have to take the entrance exam." He stated and you nodded eagerly.

"I'll do my best!!" You cheered.

He chuckled, folding his arms over his chest. He had no doubt about it.

By the time Ojiro got back to your table, he was surprised to find you and his teacher conversing as if it was the easiest thing in the universe. He was certain Aizawa didn't have it in him to openly express emotions other than exhaustion.

Well, that and boredom.

Ojiro tilted his head at the two of you in confusion, holding a tray that contained three bowls of steaming hot food. "Did I miss something?"

You bit your lip to suppress a smile and Aizawa raised an eyebrow but neither one of you answered him.

Setting down the tray, he served the food. His gaze fell on your tail, which was happily swishing behind you and he decided that it didn't matter if you didn't want to tell him, he was just glad to see you enjoying yourself.

Your mouth watered when the food was set down in front of you but Aizawa was surprised to find three helpings of gyūdon rather than just two.

Reaching into his pocket, Ojiro pulled out the remaining yen he had stuffed there earlier to his teacher and your eyes went wide.

Similarly, Aizawa's eyes narrowed in suspicion at the amount left. There was no way there should be this much left after buying this much food.

"Ojiro..." He warned with a sharp look, daring him to confirm his suspicions.

The boy had an apologetic look on his face but stood fast. "I used your money to pay for Y/N's but I used mine to buy ours."

Before his teacher could say a word, Ojiro rushed out. "You haven't eaten anything yet so you must be hungry too!! I'm sorry Aizawa-sensei, I just thought—"

Aizawa held up a hand to stop his rambling. He was nearly as bad as Midoriya.

"It's fine. Thank you." The man said curtly, reaching over the table to split a pair of chopsticks for you. "But you're not allowed to do it again."

"But sensei—!!" Ojiro protested.

Aizawa gave him a look that shut him up quickly.

You had been trying to ignore their disagreement. Tension never did sit too well with you and even though you knew that Aizawa wasn't really mad at Ojiro, you couldn't help but flinch at their raised voices.

So when they finally took notice of your unease and quieted down, you could focus all of your attention on satisfying your rumbling tummy.

You stared at the big bowl before you. Rice and beef soaked in aromatic broth had you salivating. Garnished with steamed edamame and a sprig of parsley, the beef bowl almost looked too good to eat.

But it smelled so good.

You were about to take a huge bite when Aizawa firmly instructed you to blow on it first. Pouting, you did as you were told and by the time you did eat it, you didn't burn yourself.

You laughed at him sheepishly as he sent you a knowing glare afterwards, knowing full well that you would have burned your tongue in your eagerness if he didn't stop you.

Kicking your feet happily, you took a sip of bubble tea for the very first time, beaming brightly at the two of them as the sugary drink flooded your taste buds.

You almost poked a hole in the straw with your canines by accident when you bit down in your haste to chew the tapioca pearls.

Ojiro looked on excitedly as you experienced boba for the first time, matching your energy and Aizawa's gaze was soft, fatherly. But he was not going to admit that to either of you.

You wiggled in your seat, vibrating with energy after that meal and the drink that you counted as an unofficial dessert.

Aizawa even ate, begrudgingly, but it still counted since you refused to give up on him.

You were slightly concerned when he still didn't touch his food even after you and Ojiro were almost done with yours. The way he picked at his food disinterestedly was a bit alarming. It was as if he hadn't been doing a good job of taking care of himself.

You frowned as you watched him longer, only for nothing to change.

Aizawa had been startled when you grasped onto his arm, pleading with your eyes for him to eat what Ojiro had so thoughtfully bought for him, saying that you were worried about him. He had tried to shove you off, change the subject or even get Ojiro to pry you off of him, but you persisted.

Finally, Aiawa sighed, giving into your puppy eyes and ate his portion.

You cheered, high-fiving Ojiro, the victory in your eyes not dimming even as he fixated a glare on the two of you.

It lost its potency as you flat out ignored him, giving all of your attention to the blushing tail boy beside you.

Everyone else that came with you to the mall had finished eating faster than the three of you did since they had gotten theirs earlier, so they went looking for you. Imagine their surprise when they saw their teacher laughing for the first time after you cracked a joke.

The girls had gathered around you and you had to admit, while you never had gyūdon before, it was now your favorite food.

You had waited to try the bubble tea until Ojiro got back, unsure which one was yours at the time since they were vastly different in color and you didn't want to accidentally drink the wrong one.

Aizawa was no help since he didn't drink that stuff so you were forced to wait until your friend returned.

Of course, this led to you trying to guess which one Ojiro had intended for you while he was still gone, your guardian looking on in amusement as you went back and forth between the two options. You weren't even trying to make him smile and yet, he couldn't help it.

Aizawa shook his head at you when you had practically pounced on the cup as his student pointed out which one he had ordered for you, his amusement only increasing when you drank it so fast that it almost came out of your nose when something he said made you laugh.

You cried at the uncomfortable sensation, willing it to go away as everyone chuckled at the expression you were making.

Ashido gave you a hug to make it go by faster. But once you could breathe again, a sly smirk crept up her face as Ojiro offered you a sip of his.

You were curious so naturally, you accepted. Only after you took a sip did Ashido crack.

"That counts!!!" She shrieked excitedly, Uraraka and Hagakure squealing alongside her and you were left in the dark.

"Huh?" You squeaked, blinking down at the drink in your hand, wondering if you had done something wrong.

You glanced at Ojiro but he looked just as puzzled as you.

He shrugged at you helplessly, turning to the pink girl practically vibrating in the chair she had stolen. "Mind clueing us in?"

The smile on Ashido's face could only be classified as devious. "YOU KISSED!!!"

It was indirect but it still counted!!! And she was going to milk it for all it was worth.

Ojiro nearly choked on his saliva and you violently coughed, the boba going down the wrong way as she declared it so loud every single one of the surrounding tables heard her.

Aizawa almost fell out of his seat.

Needless to say, for the rest of the time you were there, Ashido wouldn't let it go and relentlessly teased the two of you until you were both cherry red from embarrassment, refusing to look at each other.

But as you filed out of the Kiyashi shopping mall back to the car, his tail crept around your waist to guide you in the dark and you couldn't see it, but his bashful smile matched yours all the way there.

Taglist: @katsukis-sad-angel​

[moon-stars01]

Party Of Two

Dk x Reader

Author:Staryynighttae

Summary: He was loud. He was annoying. Your neighbor’s apartment is a party central and he doesn't care if your shared wall pounds with the loudness of the music. In a fit of pique, you rename your wifi network to tell him to shut up.

Pairing:Dk(Svt) x Reader

Gene:Neighbor au,Seokmin is a party animal,reader wants peace,members are mentioned

Rating:General Audiences

-Party Of Two-

“This is like the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life.” You said to your friend through the phone.

“Why? You said the place looked perfect.”

It wasn’t the place that was the problem. It has more than enough space for someone who lives alone, good interior and lighting, good location because it is near the school you’re attending; it was perfect, or even beyond that.

The problem wasn’t the unit. It was the unit next door, which is apparently owned by an annoying brat who tries to have like at least three parties in the span of five hours.

“The guy living next door is so annoying. I can’t even focus on reviewing for my class. His house won’t stay quiet for even 30 minutes.”

“Well, you can go tell him? I mean, he should respect your space, too, right?”

Your friend was right. You indeed deserved respect. You deserve peace and quiet, even just for an hour.

So, you decided to hung up and go out, ring your neighbor’s bell and waited for him to open the door.

And you regret doing just that.

“Who— Oh hi are you here to deliver jjajjangmyeon, noona??”

The door opened to a sight of a young man, clearly drunk and barely holding himself up.

“Uhm... no. I live next door and—“

“Is that jjajjangmyeon?” Another guy shouted.

Now everyone was by the door, waiting for you to give them the jjajjangmyeon you never even had.

“I just wanted to study what the sam heck have I gotten myself into?”

You just looked at the guys staring at you, as if still waiting for food.

“I’m not here to deliver food. I just— I live next door and I’m trying to study but the walls are thin so I can hear everything.”

“So, you have no food?” The guy who opened the door said. And you shook your head.

“That’s a waste.” He said, pouting. And he held the door knob. “It was nice seeing you though.”

And he shut the door. Right in front of your fucking face. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“Hey I’m not—“

The door opened again. “I’m seokmin, by the way. Hehe.”

And he closes it again.

‘What is up with him?’ You sighed and just decided to give up and go back to your room.

The noise was still pounding against your walls. You just can’t take it. He needs to lowkey get that he and his noisy friends aren’t the only ones in the building.

You can’t go there every freaking night just to tell him to turn the volume down.

“God, I need my peace. I need to find a way to shut that entire unit up.”

-0-0-0-0-

 The next day, you were leaving the house to go to the nearby grocery when the door to the next unit opened, revealing the guy from last night. He seemed to have just woken up, and was stretching and yawning when he came out. He looked towards you and suddenly closed his mouth and scratch the back of his head, as if embarrassed that you had to see that early in the morning.

As if you haven’t seen worse last night.

“Uhm... good morning.” He then said in a soft voice.

You just nodded and turned around to lock your door.

“You moved in a week ago, right?” He asked. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself yet.”

“But you have, not properly, though.” You then whispered, only enough for you to hear.

“I’m Seokmin. I own 1230.” He said, reaching out his hand towards you.

Should you accept the handshake? After what this guy did last night, would you be so kind to accept this? They didn’t even shut up after you nicely asked, and they even asked you if you were delivering food.

You looked at him. He was smiling. Smiling so beautifully, enhancing his  equally beautiful features. This is so annoying, him acting like he doesn’t even remember what happened last night.

Or maybe he actually didn’t. You, of all people know all of them inside that house were dead drunk. You decided to take his hand.

“I’m (Y/N). 1228.”

You put your keys in your pocket and started to walk when he decided to catch up to you.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“The mart nearby.” You replied blandly.

He smiled. “I’m going there, too! Let’s go together?”

What is this boy trying to do, being nice to you and all?

You let him walk next to you, and shop next to you, answering his questions flatly, but never engaging more. It’s not that you wanted him to do these things with you, God knows you don’t, but he is somehow unnecessarily curious and he won’t even let you out of his sight.

You only thought of one thing: this boy was the reason you’re having a hard time focusing on your studies and he has to know.

“Seokmin-ssi, do you like parties?”

He looked at you and showed a grin. “Yes! Do you?”

You shook your head. “Not much, especially when I have stuff to study.”

You wanted to tell him straight to his face, like how he slammed the door straight at yours, that you hated how his parties distracted you and ask him if he can at least turn it even a bit down.

“Actually, I was studying last night and there was a unit that was partying so hard, I can’t focus.”

He thought for a short time and nodded. “Oh, well I guess they could maybe turn it down a little.”

You looked at him with disbelief in your eyes. Did this boy just forget about him partying last night right in his house and asking you for jjajjangmyeon because he was dead drunk? Did he think you were referring to someone else in the building? Is he still drunk?

“I know, right? These people should be considerate enough because they clearly know they’re not the only ones living in the building.”

He nodded. He fucking nodded. This guy is so hopeless; nothing is more dense than him.

-0-0-0-0-

Another day of another party. Another day you can’t study in your house. This is getting out of hand.

You grabbed your phone and decided to look for cafes near your building open later than 12AM and that’s when an idea crossed your head.

“What if..?”

You grabbed your laptop and connected your internet modem directly to it and changed some settings.

“Hope you finally get the message, Seokmin-ssi.”

You were in front of his door again, with your laptop in hand, waiting for anyone to open the door. You hope it was Seokmin, so you won’t have to take long.

“Yes— oh hi (Y/N)!” Seokmin said, a smile beaming from his face. “What’s up?”

Time to execute your ‘pass the message’ mission. “Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you at this hour but my internet modem isn’t working well and I have a paper to submit tonight. Do you mind if I connect to yours for a short while?”

“Yeah, sure uhm... well you can come in?” He said, awkwardly gesturing you to go inside.

Inside, there were 12 more boys sitting in front of the television, playing some sort of video game. These people are the same faces you saw the last time you were here and almost got my face hit by a door.

“Don’t they ever get tired of each other’s faces?’ You wondered as you looked at them.

Seokmin led you to the desk counter and you placed your laptop there. You faced it towards him and said a soft ‘thank you’.

He smiled and started to scroll through all the available wifi connections listed when

“Who the he— ‘1230 shut the fuck up I need my peace’?”

You almost laughed at his reaction. His face depicted confusion, as to who wrote it, and embarrassment because I saw and heard it.

“Oh my God, why are they so mean? I mean, we’re just having fun?”

You wanted to take all the hair from his scalp right there and then. Does this boy even know respect?

“Well, maybe they’re doing something important like, I don’t know, studying?”

“Well, then he can just go straight here and tell it to my face.” He said, slightly annoyed. “I know what compromise is.”

‘But I did, and you asked me for jjajjangmyeon, you idiot.’ You thought. He grabbed your laptop.

“Can I use it for a second?”

You nodded, and watched as he reached for his own modem and connected it to your laptop. You figured he was setting up his internet connection, too, since that was what you also did.

So, got a message for me, too, huh?

He then returned and gave back your laptop.

“There, I connected it and I checked automatic connect so if ever you need it again...”

You smiled sarcastically, “Thank you again, Seokmin-ssi.”

You went back to your room, laptop in hand and checked the name of his wifi connection.

“I don’t know you but no need to be rude, dude. It’s all fun.” You read. You snickered. “This rude little— I just need you to shut up for 1 hour!”

It’s official. The boy’s stupid. And you hate him.

-0-0-0-0-

The wifi name exchanges continued for days, weeks even, with you saying “I need to study, you idiot” and him replying with a “Well I need my social life, too, little miss goodie”

It was annoying. He was still doing his party routine and you just wanted him to stop for even a second.

But sometimes, it was also fun. He’d joke around and you won’t hide that you found it funny. He also asked you why you’re always so mad and you just reply, ‘you annoy me’. Sometimes it takes both of us minutes to reply, but sometimes it would take hours. But it was weird because no matter how long the replies took, you waited.

It was your linear algebra test tomorrow. And by the looks of it, you are about to flunk it if you don’t get to study. But this boy is, again, making it difficult.

“Oh for the love of God, shut up!” You wrote, as if Seokmin can hear your wifi name.

And he was quick to reply. “You too!”

You need your study time, and if you had to beg, you will.

“Please, I have a linear algebra exam tomorrow I need to pass this.”

“Please. I really need this.”

“I beg you, even just for two hours.”

You changed it in 2 minutes intervals, hoping he was keeping an eye on it.

And the music stopped. The loud banging on the wall was gone. He was indeed keeping an eye on your messages.

You checked the available wifi connections for his possible reply.

“Two hours. If you need more, just write it down.”

“Why is he being uncharacteristically nice tonight?” You wondered, but brushed it off and opened your algebra book.

Two hours did fly by too quickly, and you did ask him for another hour of quietness and he obliged. This was weird to you, but you figured maybe he was nice after all and you just needed to ask him nicely.

After you were done reviewing, you typed in a short “Thank you” to him through the modem and switched of your lights.

Seokmin, on the other hand, wondered who the person having a conversation with him through the modem is, because it was indeed a weird but unique way to communicate with him. Although most of the time, the person was annoyed and rude towards him, he still found it cute that he continued to communicate with him through this.

-0-0-0-0-

This is a great progress. For three weeks now, you don’t even have to ask him to give you time to study; he’s the one offering it to you. He also asks you how your day went, how many papers you need to do, and if you ate dinner. He sounded like he cared a lot. And it felt so nice to hear someone being concerned about you. It made you feel special.

“You need two hours today?” The wifi name stated. You smiled. He did mean it when he said you just needed to ask nicely. Seokmin, he really is nice unlike how you pictured him to be.

“Today is fine. No homeworks. But keep the volume down.” You typed and plopped yourself on your bed, waiting for his music to start.

“But today, it was different. The music wasn’t loud and banging. “Jazz music?”

You placed your ear next to the wall and listened. The music was soothing and calming.

“I’m alone today. I figured you needed relaxing music.” The wifi name was changed again.

You still placed your ear on the wall, and indulged in the smooth sound of the music.

You decided to chat with him.

“Where are your twelve loud friends?”

“They come over for a week every other month. It’s a tradition.”

“Why?”

“Because they work far away.”

“And you?”

“I’m a singer. And a jazz music enthusiast.”

“I can see that.”

“No, you just hear it.”

“Ha ha I’m dropping you.”

“Btw, how did you think of this way of communication?”

His question brought you back to why you even started this. You wanted silence. You wanted peace. And you did get it. Come to think of it, you can already stop this nonsense of talking through the wifi names.

But now, talking to Seokmin like this made you feel more at ease.

“Well, millennials love the internet”

“It’s cute. Different, unusual and weird, but cute.”

Your eyes widened by his comment. He found it cute that you actually talked to him like this. You tried to brush off the redness off of your cheeks.

“I’m glad you think that way.”

“Are you a girl or a boy?”

“What do you think?”

“A girl. A guy can’t possibly do something as cute as this.”

There he is again, calling this cute. He needs to stop.

“Stop calling this cute.”

“But it is. And you are, too.”

“No.”

“Maybe if I see you, I’d stop.”

“Why? Because maybe I’m not cute?”

“No. Maybe because you’re beautiful.”

He did not.

He called you beautiful.

Okay, maybe it was a 'maybe beautiful', but it was enough to make your heart beat a little faster than usual.

“Stop it. I’m leaving.”

“Sorry. I just want to know you.”

“I’m still in college.”

“Yeah, explains the studying. How old are you?”

“20.”

“I’m 22.”

“Really? I thought we were the same age when I saw you.”

“You saw me? Where?”

You wanted to curse yourself. You just told him you already saw him. That was a freaking big of a giveaway for you, stupid.

“Just around.”

“How did you know it was me, then?”

“I just guessed.”

Wow. What a freaking excuse.

“Wait.”

“Where are you going?”

And he was gone, no reply for about 30 minutes.

“Are you there?”

You typed and refreshed the scanning and waited, but no reply, still. You decided to call it a day and sleep in.

The next day, you checked if there was a message waiting for you.

-0-0-0-0-

“I’m sorry for not replying. I just went to get something last night.”

“It’s okay, you gave me time when I needed it, too.”

“Well, now can you give me the time and hear me out?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“I know you.”

You froze when you saw the last sentence. He knew you? How?

No, he must be bluffing.

“Really? How?”

This is nerve-wracking. It took him minutes to reply.

“I’ve been theorizing this the whole night.”

“And?”

“How did you know I have twelve friends coming over?”

Dang it. I never noticed that I wrote it down that way. You didn’t reply.

“You won’t know unless you came and met them.”

Why is this stupid boy suddenly so smart?

“And you’re 20. I asked the landlady.”

"She said there are only 3 people who are 20 years old here."

"Two of them are boys."

"In the mart, you told me about being annoyed while studying."

"Connecting to my wifi was intentional for me to see your message."

"I think I also met you even before the morning we went to the mart, that's why you acted so annoyed towards me."

"Soonyoung said he vaguely remembered me shutting the door at someone's face the night before they left."

"That was you, right?"

"Right, (Y/N)-si? 1228?"

You just froze all over again. He did know.

"You got me." You typed.

"You got me, too." He replied. What does he mean?

"What do you mean?"

"Do you need two hours today?"

Why is he suddenly asking you if you needed time? And on a weekend?

"No. Why?"

"Well, now you do, because I need it with you."

"What?"

"I'm asking you out do you even have sense?"

You laughed as red spread through your cheeks.

"You could've worded it more clearly."

"I'm a tongue twisted human being, stop being mean."

"You're cute."

You heard a soft 'thud' on the wall.

"Seokmin, what was that?"

"I just threw my pillow to the wall. My heart won't stay still, you idiot."

You laughed again.

"How are you so cute?"

"Oh my God, stop it!"

"Okay, okay!"

It took him a few minutes to reply.

"Hey, maybe it would be better for me to ask you on the phone. 010-800-xxxxx"

You rolled your eyes. Look at him, slyly giving you his number so you can contact him.

"Just come over and ask me. I'm a door away."

"But all of this is cute."

"Seokmin."

"But you got to admit, I'm cuter than all of this."

"I hate you, you idiot."

"Too bad, then"

"Because I like you a lot, (Y/N)."

[superdorkcat]

Problem Child AU

TL;DR: A Dad For One AU where in Izuku’s a chaotic good homeless runaway attending U.A. while hiding out from his abusive super villain dad.

Side note: This was way longer than I expected it to be (1K+ words), so I might do a part two later on down the line.

Okay, so Dad For One is a thing in this AU and when Izuku turns four, he and Inko are brought to AFO’s hideout so that Ujiko can run tests on Izu to see if he inherited All For One

He didn’t, he’s Quirkless like he was at the start of the series, but Tomura becomes quite fond of Izuku and Inko while they’re there and Inko winds up finding out that Hisashi Midoriya = AFO so they just end up,,, staying there

AFO is FAR from a good dad - he only romanced Inko as part of a side project to see if he could replicate All For One and only keeps Izuku around ‘cause Tomura likes him, Izu might as well be his pet in AFO’s eyes

At first, Izuku actually likes living with AFO. He likes that they’re a family together - him, his mom, his dad, big brother Tomura, and Mr. Kurogiri.

But, Izuku’s a smart kid. He begins to notice things. He begins to notice the pure, unrestrained hatred that his dad has for heroes that he’s passing down to Tomura, how Tomura seems to see Dad more like a god than as a dad. He begins to notice the way his mom’s eyes slightly widen in fear whenever Izuku goes to spend alone time with Dad. He begins to notice that his dad’s doctor spends a weird amount of time around the house. How him and Dad always talk about something called “Nomus”. Conversations that, while Izuku’s still too young to understand the science talk behind them, still manage to send a shiver down his spine.

There are bright spots, though. Tomura is just the greatest big brother that Izuku could ask for and Kurogiri always treats him with such kindness that Izuku sees him as part of his family. But the dark areas just get bigger with time.

Eventually, AFO figures out that Izuku’s onto him and things just go down from there. It gets to the point where the thought of AFO giving him a hug terrifies Izuku way more than if AFO were to just hit him.

What finally pushes Izuku into running away is the AFO-All Might fight. Seeing his now faceless father laugh like an utter lunatic and brag about how he weakened All Might, how he kickstarted the slow, lingering death of the Symbol of Peace, even while heavily injured himself just proves too much for Izuku to bear. He’s been devising a plan to run away for a year now, the fight is just the catalyst he needs to go through with it.

So he does. Thus begins the chronicles of Izuku Midoriya: Street Rat

Izuku constantly moves from place to place, never staying in the same place for long. He also develops a somewhat flexible sense of morality. He’s not morally ambiguous or some gritty anti-hero though, just even more chaotic good than canon. 

Stealing is still a no-no for him, so he takes up any and all odd jobs that are capable of being done by a kid in the area he’s currently staying in for money that he can use for essentials. He becomes good at living on an incredibly small budget.

He passes off his talent for analyzing Quirks as a Quirk analyzing Quirk since Quirkless people are so rare.

Izuku also gets good at moving in back alleys, avoiding hero patrol patterns and sneaking through villain territory during this time. If he runs into a villain, they could turn him in to AFO. If he runs into a hero, they’ll try to help him and should AFO ever come for him, Izuku… Well, he would never forgive himself if AFO did anything to hurt them. (He also doesn’t approach a shelter or the Bakugous for the same reason.)

That being said, Izuku also winds up having to lose heroes a fair amount of time, so he gets pretty good at outmaneuvering people. 

Izuku develops a habit of keeping no more personal items than can be kept in a backpack that he carries with him at all times

He also starts writing his Quirk analysis's down in code, a habit he picked up living with AFO. After all, you never know when someone might be spying on you. He also sleeps with a knife under his pillow, another habit derived from AFO’s shitty parenting.

He’s a l w a y s ready to write in his Quirk notebooks. He tries to keep himself from muttering (you never know when someone might be listening) most of the time, but he slips up whenever he gets really excited.

Izuku still wants to become a hero, so he heads to Musutafu when he becomes old enough for U.A.’s entrance exam. He moves into an abandoned warehouse relatively near U.A.

Izuku gets a part-time job so that he can get more money for things and spends almost all of his time when he’s not there studying for the written part of the U.A. entrance exam (since, while he was being homeschooled by Kurogiri when he was living with AFO, he hasn’t had any sort of education since he ran away so the written portion is his largest hurdle for getting in)

Izuku does a good job in the practical portion of the exam, maneuvering around the robots and pressing their deactivation switches. He barely passes the written portion. He gets in.

All of Izuku’s classmates notice things about him. How he’s always carrying his backpack around, like he’s almost afraid that he’ll lose it if he’s away from it. The fact that his analysis Quirk can be wrong, something that’s incredibly rare for Quirks of that type. How he’s walks on eggshells when around All Might. All of this, while it doesn’t make his class like him any less, certainly mark Izuku as an odd individual in their eyes.

Also, since the only person around Izuku’s age when he was living with AFO was Tomura and how after he ran away, he never really interacted much with his peers, Izuku is incredibly rusty when interacting with his schoolmates. Teachers? No prob. People his own age? His has little to no social skills, someone help him.

Because of the timeline of when Izuku came to live with AFO, him and Bakugou are still friends. However, Bakugou quite understandably wants to know where Izuku’s been all this time and what his deal is, which Izuku can’t tell him for obvious reasons. As a result, there’s a bit of tension between them.

Izuku did not see All Might being a teacher at U.A. coming. While Izuku still heavily admires All Might, he was planning on doing so from a distance, on account of being the son of All Might’s arch-enemy and all. As a result, as mentioned above, Izuku is incredibly nervous around him. Izuku also feels misplaced guilt regarding All Might’s weakening since AFO is his dad, so he tends to apologize for it. This is complicated by the fact that All Might has absolutely no idea that AFO is Izuku’s dad or that Izuku knows that he’s weaker, leading to him being very Concerned.

All Might, shortly after the USJ incident, sobbing on the phone to Gran Torino: Young Midoriya said “I’m sorry”, Torino! “I’M SORRY”! He apologized for being threatened by villains! Who hurt him?!?!?

So All Might tries to reach out to Izuku, telling him that he’s there whenever he needs to talk. However, that just sets Izuku on edge because “hE kNoWs”. So All Might tries to reach out to Izuku as Small Might, which just freaks out Izuku even more. Basically Dad Might trying to dad while Izuku does his best to avoid him at all costs.

Izuku gets dubbed a problem child much earlier than in canon and the phrase becomes pretty much synonymous with him, hence the name of the AU. Problem Child is to Izuku Midoriya as Symbol of Peace is to All Might.

[excelsi-or]

08/12/18 - performance art (woozi)

to a boy i love right now

w.c. 3.5k

A/N: Merry Christmas (in May)! Hahaha, just how the story rolls. This is a longer one, but I enjoyed this one.

December 7, 2018

December 8, 2018

With sunlight in her eyes, she wakes. She’s warm and is in no rush to move. As she starts to come to consciousness, her surroundings start to register. There’s a blanket over her and a sleeping Jihoon with his arms around her. The one that had been cradling her the night before is sprawled behind her, his right arm now resting in the dip in her side. She pulls back a bit to take in what he really looks like in his room.

His dark hair is sprawled across his grey sheets. Even in his sleep, his eyes are sharp, angled. The boy breathes in pout, and the slight upturn in his lips makes him look amused. She looks around for any sense of the time, wondering why she’s still here anyway.

Jihoon’s not letting go and she can’t move. Gently, she presses her lips against his, giving him butterfly kisses again and again. When he kisses her back, she stops and he rolls onto his back. This gives her the space to find her phone and check the time.

“I should get home,” she sighs. “I have a study session at noon.” On her elbows, she watches Jihoon try to decide if he’s going to wake with her or go back to sleep. She chuckles and kisses the side of his neck before getting up. She rolls off the bed and stretches.

“Did Mingyu not come home?”

Jihoon must decide he’s going to get up, because he wiggles his way into a sitting position. He leans back against the wall and she watches him carefully. “He did. It was late though.” Adorably, he rubs his eyes with the backs of his hands. “You’d already been sleeping for three hours. I didn’t want to wake you then.”

“And the blanket?”

“You’re a log in your sleep,” Jihoon chuckles. He ruffles his hair and stretches his arms over his head. “You’re not mad?”

“That you let me sleep all night?” She shakes her head and leaves the room. “No, Jihoonie. I’m not mad.”

She goes into the kitchen to look for food. On the fridge door is the now crumpled notice about the winter performance that Mingyu must have put back up. Her eyes skim over it, but she says nothing. Snagging a yogurt that Mingyu has stocked specifically for her, she makes no comment about the performance as Jihoon pads towards her. He stands by the door wrapped in the blanket they’d used last night. He’ll probably go back to sleep for a few more hours.

“I’ll see you, hmm?” she hums.

Jihoon nods and walks her to the door. She checks her pockets for her phone and doesn’t find it. She turns, about to say that she left it on the bed, when Jihoon holds it out to her. When she goes to grab it, Jihoon tucks it back into the blanket.

She laughs in confusion.

Jihoon leans forward to kiss her goodbye and the phone finds its way into her palm. “Bye. Have a good day today.”

She hesitates for a moment, but smiles. “You too, Jihoonie.”

“So should I be concerned that he hasn’t even mentioned it to me?” she asks Jeonghan during their study session.

He chews the back of his pencil. “He must know that you know it’s coming up,” Jeonghan answers. “Your best friend is in the show. I have no idea why he wouldn’t have told you already.”

“So is that a yes to being concerned?” She stops writing, because she’s not even focused on the problem that they’re working through. “I haven’t had any reason to be concerned with Jihoon yet.”

“I mean, every relationship has its bumps in the road.” Jeonghan puts his pencil down. “But I agree. You and Jihoon work well together.”

“Seungkwan says it’s because we both know what we want.”

Jeonghan nods. “You’re both no nonsense people, but you’re more… social than Jihoon.”

She puts both her hands dramatically on the table between them. “You’re giving me mixed signals about whether I should be concerned or not.”

“I don’t think you should really be concerned, but if you are, why don’t you just ask him about it?” Jeonghan pauses. “Why haven’t you asked him?”

“I did last night. He crumpled the reminder in his hand and then didn’t want to talk about it.”

“Huh.” Jeonghan mulls over the situation. “It seems weird that he wouldn’t want you to go.”

She buries her face in her hands, tapping her fingers on her forehead. “I just don’t want to freak him out. He’s been stressed lately, trying to finish up his songs in time. The boys have all done their parts and Jihoon’s kinda just left… trying to put it all together and clean it for them.”

Jeonghan nods. “Yeah. Seungcheolie says that Jihoon gets mad when other people are in the studio with him during finals time. They’ve learned to just leave him be.”

“What if he doesn’t want me there?” she asks suddenly.

Jeonghan shakes his head. “You’re silly. Of course he’d want you there. He adores you.”

She snorts. “That doesn’t mean he would want me there.”

Jeonghan sighs. “I don’t know. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to him.”

Well, she decided it wasn’t the best course of action. Jihoon during confrontations scares her slightly. He’s never mean to her, and typically they’re mature during disagreements, but this is something he’s blatantly trying to hide from her and she has no idea why. She knows how important the winter performance is. Hansol’s parents take the day off work to be with him to calm his nerves. She usually gets tired partway through the show and has to leave, but now she knows more of the participants. But if Jihoon doesn’t want her there, is it okay to go?

“Maybe he’s scared for you to hear the music he’s making,” Seungkwan says when she brings it up at dinner.

She shakes her head. “But I hear it in the studio. He plays new music for me all the time.”

“Maybe he gets stage fright and he doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of you.”

She tips her head both ways, toying with the idea. She quickly dismisses it though and puts a piece of bulgogi in her mouth. “I think he’d have good stage presence.”

“Maybe he thinks you’re bad luck and he doesn’t want to ruin his chance at landing a good company spot somewhere in the future.”

Her face deadpans. If looks could kill, Seungkwan would be a dead man. He laughs. “I’m trying to lighten the mood, calm down.”

“You’re being honest and I’m annoyed at myself for wondering if it’s true,” she grumbles. “Maybe I just won’t go. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

“Right. Besides, aren’t you going home for the holidays that day anyway?”

“Yeah,” she reaches for her water, “my last exam is on that day too.”

“There you go. You’ll be really busy.” Seungkwan waves his chopsticks in the air, dismissing any more discussion of her worries. “Things are fine.”

“What do you mean you’re not going?” Hansol demands as she leads him to the restaurant where Jihoon often takes her. They’d finished their exams at the same time. “Noona, you always come.”

“Jihoon doesn’t want me there.”

Hansol’s face scrunches up in confusion. “Why wouldn’t he want his girlfriend to be there?”

She shrugs, watching her step as they cross campus. She’s slipped on all the ice on the walkways at least four times today. She isn’t planning on breaking her neck any time soon. “He hasn’t even mentioned it to me.”

“Maybe he thinks that I’m inviting you?” Hansol guesses.

“But I don’t think he knows that I go every year,” she explains. “Yes, we’re best friends, but it doesn’t seem like Jihoon to consider stuff like that.”

Hansol frowns, thinking hard. She has to grab his elbow to make sure he takes a wide berth around an ice sheet. “Well I have a ticket for you.”

“I’m not going if Jihoon doesn’t want me there.”

“But I want you there. And so does everyone else. Mingyu hyung is excited for you to see the performance. And Soonyoung hyung says that you’ll be disappointed if they perform badly, so they’re practicing extra hard.” Hansol swings his backpack to his front. She watches him unzip it and dig around for something. She wants to scold him for being careless; he could slip and die, but she doesn’t. Instead, she gently nudges him out of the way of danger spots and tugs him back onto the walkway when he passes around them.

Finally, he presents her with a ticket.

“I got you a free one. Please come.”

She sighs and takes it from him. The date is printed in black ink, the rest of the ticket in gold. There’s a sheen that catches the dying sunlight and she can see a man sitting at a piano if she tilts it a certain way.

Hansol begins whining, which if they weren’t alone he would never do. She pushes his shoulder, causing him to stumble back. His left foot catches on the ice and he starts to slip. Quickly, her hand snaps forward and grabs his wrist to right him.

His face has paled, as if his life had flashed before his eyes. Rolling her eyes, she links her arm through his. “Fine, I’ll come. It seems you’ll injure yourself if I don’t.”

December 18, 2018

Exam. Pack. Performance.

Seungkwan stands beside her in line, his free ticket from Hansol in hand. “If the entire audience is everyone’s friends,” he looks at the young people and parent-aged humans around, “aren’t all the tickets free?”

She chuckles. “Well they aren’t supposed to make a profit.” She shows her ticket to the usher at the door and he waves her through. They find their seats near the front, just close enough that they’ll be able to see, not so close that they’ll break their necks.

“Wow, look at these center seats,” Seungkwan whispers.

She snorts as she slips out of her coat. “You say this as if he doesn’t get us good seats every year.” She’d first met Seungkwan at Hansol’s first winter performance. Just like every year, Hansol’s parents are next to her and they exchange greetings. Seungkwan does the same and they fall into easy conversation until the lights begin to dim.

Hansol forewarned her that everyone she wanted to see would be at the tail end of the show. “Apparently, we’re good this year.”

The first half is boring, a lot of first and second years who haven’t quite learned where they fit in the music department. She finds her head falling to Seungkwan’s shoulder. She tries her best not to fall asleep, aware that the acts can see her. When the intermission starts, Hansol’s mother nudges her leg.

“You should go get something to eat,” his mother chuckles. “You’ll be asleep before Hansol gets on stage.”

Upon return though, the second half picks up a lot. Seungkwan whispers in her ear when a shorter guy with a fedora comes on stage. He does a Michael Jackson inspired performance, all his tributes to the King of Pop extremely accurate. Seungkwan informs her that this is the guy that her boyfriend finds irritating. She tips her head, wondering why, but deciding she’ll never know.

When Hansol gets on stage with Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Mingyu, she’s upright in her seat. Her heart is beating in her chest from excitement and second-hand nerves. They’re in formation at the start, but once the chorus drops, they’re all over the stage. They attempt to hype up the crowd and their friends in the audience do not disappoint. She can’t help but laugh in her seat at the fan chant the other boys had come up with, Seungkwan chanting along.

Hansol’s eyes seek her out and a smile breaks his cool demeanour. The beat is familiar, likely from Jihoon making the beat while she slept or studied in the studio. She’s been blown away by Hansol’s rapping skills before, but alongside other people, there’s a different vibe. He seems a million times more comfortable, but that could also just be from experience.

His parents, who had been skeptical about his decision to major in music, seem more assured with every passing year. They still aren’t sure what type of career he could go into, though Hansol has informed her that he’s been offered auditions at various companies. He’s never gone.

“School first. It’ll make my parents happy.” And he was right.

As each act is called after Hansol’s, she listens carefully. She’s pleasantly surprised to hear Jihoon’s be the last name called, alongside Soonyoung and two Chinese names she’s never heard before.

All four make their way onto the stage, a piano for Jihoon at center stage. The three dancers take their places around him. Each boy starts with his head down and Jihoon starts the song with light piano trills.

“Has he played this for you?” Seungkwan asks as the song picks up.

“I’ve never heard this one.”

“It sounds like a break up song.”

The dancers fly around the stage in a flurry of arms and floor work. Jihoon’s voice trembles, as if he’s trying not to cry. The performance feels like one final push for somebody, as if the song is a call out of desperation.

And while she feels all the right emotions, the pain and the hope and the loss, she also feels pride. Not only is Jihoon the center of the song, when the orchestra is revealed behind him, they take none of the attention from him. As the song falls from its last crescendo, the entire room erupts in applause. Jihoon stands and moves to the front with Soonyoung and the two others. His eyes settle on her and widen in surprise before the front rows block her during the standing ovation.

The rest of the acts join them onstage and everyone bows to all sections of the university auditorium. The emcee returns and bids them a good night. A beat passes before the lights come back on. She checks her watch and calculates that there’s one train she can catch in the next thirty minutes.

“We gotta go,” Seungkwan says, as if reading her mind, “if you want to make the next train.”

She peers up at the stage where she can see Jihoon surrounded by a lot of people. His eyes keep darting to the audience, clearly unsure of where he’d seen her. “Yeah, let’s go.”

She turns to Hansol’s parents. “Tell Hansol that he was amazing.” She gives them hugs. “I have to catch the train to see my family.”

They wish her a merry Christmas and Seungkwan leads the way back to the lobby. The sea of people leaving urges them forward, though a few try to push their way to the stage, likely to get photos with the performers they came to see. Once in the lobby, which takes a surprisingly long time, she hears her name and Seungkwan’s being called.

They both turn and she smiles at the collection of men that she’s met through Hansol (and Jihoon) standing in a clump to greet them. She glances at her watch again and grimaces.

“You’re really gonna cut it close, but don’t you want to say hi?” Seungkwan is already tugging her, knowing her answer. They hurry through the crowd towards them. The boys are also surrounded by admirers and friends who want to talk to them, but she passes her bag off to Seungkwan and ducks in and around to get to Hansol. Immediately, she throws her arms around him. Mingyu is on her other side and wraps one arm around his waist, her other hand falling into Hansol’s.

“The rap was so good!” she exclaims. “It was well worth the wait.”

“Whose part was your favourite?” Mingyu asks.

She ponders her answer and nods. “I really liked Won—” Before she can even finish her sentence, she smells Wonwoo’s cologne and then feels a weight around her shoulders.

“Hah, told you. It was a killer verse,” Hansol says to him.

She laughs. “It was all amazing. The rhythm was good.” She squeezes Hansol’s hand. “You better give me a copy of that song for Christmas.”

Hansol smiles his toothy smile and nods his head.

Suddenly, her hand is yanked out of Hansol’s by Seungkwan, bag still over his shoulder. “Noona, you’re gonna be late.”

“Train station,” she informs Hansol. She gives Mingyu a squeeze before patting Wonwoo’s stomach with her now free hand. She catches Hansol around the neck in another hug, his hands snaking around her waist quickly.

“Merry Christmas, noona.”

Then Seungkwan has her wrist death-gripped in his hand so he won’t lose her as he tugs her to the exit. That is until someone grabs her free hand and gives it a hard tug. She yelps in surprise and turns, coming face-to-face with Jihoon.

“Jihoon.”

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Home,” she states, motioning towards the bag on Seungkwan’s shoulder. The younger man is itching to get going. “I’m gonna be late if I don’t—”

“We need to go, noona, seriously,” Seungkwan insists.

Jihoon laces his fingers between hers. “I’ll take her.”

It’s then that she notices he’s already dressed in his coat. “You’re not going to stay to talk with everyone?”

“I’ll catch up with them later.” He looks to Seungkwan. “There’s an after party at Hansol’s. He wants to know if you’re going.”

“Oh, yeah, I was going to go after—”

Jihoon nods his head in the direction of everyone else and Seungkwan takes the hint. He throws his arms around her, slides the bag strap onto her shoulder, and wishes her a merry Christmas. Over his shoulder, Seungkwan promises not to ruin their apartment, and then she loses his dark head of hair in the crowd.

Jihoon pulls her attention back to him. “Ready to go?”

“Oh.” She adjusts her overnight bag on her shoulder. “Uhm, yeah.”

Carefully, Jihoon leads the way out of the auditorium and they hurry towards the bus stop.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Jihoon asks when they take a seat at the back of the bus.

She blinks at his tone. There’s no aggression in Jihoon’s voice, only awe. “I didn’t think you wanted me there.”

“Why wouldn’t I have wanted you there? I—” Jihoon stops himself. “I… I’m happy you were there.”

“But you wouldn’t tell me that it was happening,” she explains. “When I asked you about it weeks ago, you wouldn’t talk about it.” She shrugs. “So I just left it.”

Jihoon shakes his head, his gloved hand squeezing hers. “I didn’t want to stress you out more by adding something else to your plate. I didn’t want you to feel as if you had to come.”

“I guess I should have told you I always go,” she chuckles. “Hansol gets me a ticket every year.”

Jihoon’s head falls to her shoulder. She pecks the top of his head. “Did you like it?” His voice is small, clearly worried about her reaction.

“Your song was beautiful.”

Quietly, Jihoon tells her the story behind the song. A few weeks back he’d woken up from a nightmare where she’d left and never returned without a reason why. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” He exhales a long breath. It’s one of the most honest things he’s ever said to her.

“Was that the time you asked me to spend the night with you in the studio?”

“Yeah.”

She gives his hand a gentle squeeze. “Well that explains why you were so clingy.”

She’d spent most of the evening in his lap at his insistence that evening. Being a messy studier, she was worried she’d be in his way. Her papers and books would be everywhere and she had told him that she didn’t understand why she couldn’t just sit on the floor at the coffee table like usual. But he insisted it would be fine and hadn’t complained. At the time, it hadn’t been so unusual to her. She figured that maybe she hadn’t been paying him much attention.

Jihoon presses a kiss to her shoulder, though she can’t feel it through her coat. Even though he’s facing her, he refuses to meet her gaze. “I adore you. I hope you know that. I wanted you there.”

She pecks his forehead, brushing some of his hair off his face. “You really are getting soft, Jihoonie.”

“Yeah,” he hums, “that’s your fault.” He gazes up at her and she tips her head in wonderment. Jihoon doesn’t explain, but a sweet smile grows on his face before he rests his head back on her shoulder.

“I adore you too, you dope,” she whispers.

Next: December 27, 2018

[morethanithoughtofficialblog]

Chapter 9: How am I even supposed to be feeling right now?

In which a certain skeleton realizes he’s smarter than he thinks.

*Sans's POV*

It's been like two weeks since (Y/N) stayed at the Dreemurr's house with everyone else. I take that day as a reference because a lot of things have happened.

One of them, my new home... that feels really tense.

Our parents decided to live with us so we all can have a better relationship with each other (well, it was actually Arial's idea), and I just let it be. Now I fucking regret it, 'cause I remembered that Gaster is a stupid asshole. He just criticizes everything I say, I do, or I've ever done with my life. It's fucking annoying to hear he has "such a disappointment of a son" every two seconds and poor, innocent, Paps trying to dismiss his bullshit.

Arial, being in love with the doc like if they just started dating, never said a word defending me. But, in order to look like a good person, she doesn't defend her perfect husband.

Go on- defend that piece of crap, Mom.

Honestly, Papyrus and I could have been perfectly well on our own, just like we were in the Underground. He's now fifteen, and I am twenty-two; isn't it too late to try to bond a connection?! They should have tried when Papy was just a kid and I was a fucking depressed teenager, trying to sustain my brother and the place we lived.

Oh, did I mention I was the one who paid everything? They didn't put a single freaking cent! I did all on my own, I even got a lot of trouble to persuade one human into buying my old house. And all for this?! Now I can't even get on my house and smile to my little brother without being judged...

Ah...

I really miss those times.

When I would get out of school or of... "work", and meet the smiley face of my brother. That smile is what keeps me from ending it all. I just can't leave him behind with that fucking couple of irresponsible parents while I'm burning in hell.

I just can't.

Today, though, we are out of that uncomfortable place and back on the Dreemurr's house. It's really big, and, I must admit, better than anything I could ever afford. Toriel insisted that we shouldn't lose our friendship, therefore, everyone must go. And so there I was going, trying to resist the urge to punch Gaster on the face and then go to my bed and cry while I fall asleep...

That was too specific.

When I arrived, boom! Surprise surprise! (Y/N) was there, freaking out in the middle of an argument, hosted by Undyne and Mettaton.

Poor girl.

Papyrus did whatever it was on my mind, and intervened. The dispute ended quickly, thanks to Papyrus's innocence not wanted to be ruined. My death glare also helped but, hey- Papy did almost everything, so he gets the credit.

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief, then awkwardly muttered a 'thank you'. She anxiously looked over at the four of us, then waved shyly before disappearing into the kitchen with Tori.

She... is certainly something. I don't think I've ever seen anyone this nervous before.

Maybe she has problems socializing, but that would make no sense. But now that I remember, she indeed was anxious whenever we went for a meeting with her.

Or whenever we hang out.

...

Actually, I think she's nervous about the mere fact of being around us. We must be a huge group of weirdos to her, while in her head she's planning an excuse for how to escape.

"Ah, well..." she interrupted, gaining everyone's attention "I have the results for, uh, your access in our education systems. I believe I, well, have everything specified in your documents, so... yeah... do you, eh, want me to give them to you...?"

Silence. And then, a grateful and unexpected squeak, courtesy of Toriel.

"Oh! That's just wonderful! Thank you so much!"

"Ah, it's... nothing" (Y/N) answered, with a seemingly usual hint of anxiety in her voice.

Then she grabbed a shitton of folders and started to giving them to us. I took mine nervously and remembered all the times I studied really hard for school. I remembered, also, every book I read and how I ended up learning French.

I just hope it wasn't for nothing.

I took a deep breath, now remembering the exam we had to do in an office, like if it was a diagnostic test. It wasn't that hard but, what if I failed? I swear to God that if I need to do high school again, I will kill myself.

I opened it slowly, almost closing my eyes in fear. A panic attack started to take over my body, and I must have shown it since (Y/N) was giving me a concerned look.

"Sans, are you okay?" She whispered softly, making me relax just a bit. Then her eyes lighted up a little as if she now understood "Don't worry, you did well. In fact, you did perfectly!"

Gaining more confidence from her small smile, I opened it quickly and checked the first page. Then I stood in shock, my mind going numb and my mouth opening slightly.

...

College.

I can go to college.

To fucking university, like a normal person at my age would.

I looked at her and noticed she was almost smirking by my reaction. Then she gave me the biggest smile she could and a thumbs up.

And, I swear to God, I felt amazing.

I checked the other papers, and I was becoming even happier. Texts said that I was a mastermind, that I could even get a huge scholarship in an important university if I wanted to. My redaction skills were noted as perfect, which made my nonexistent heart skip a beat. My science knowledge was amusing, and math, oh lord, had really high notes.

At the end of the documents, I noticed a little post-it. I looked at it curiously and started reading it as soon as I grabbed it in my hands:

<<Hi Sans!

You did really well on basically everything! You should be proud!

If you are interested in going to a university any time sooner, I recommend you to check out Ebott University. It's one of the best schools in the country, and I think you have the capacity to join! Hell, even have a great scholarship there!

No pressure, though. It's just a suggestion, after all!

I just wanted to congratulate your excellent results, and to tell you that you can do it! You looked really stressed after giving your test, so I thought I should tell you this: you'll do just fine, Sans. Have more confidence in yourself, alright? If not for you, at least for your brother, who I see that it is really important to you.

I wish you the best of lucks, my friend!

(Y/N) (L/N)>>

I didn't know how to react. The only thing I know I did it's that I smiled all the time, and felt like this was just a happy dream about me being successful in life. I just couldn't believe that all my effort did work.

I glanced at her and saw that Papyrus was chatting excitedly about his future. He proclaimed that he would do his best in order to "make her effort count". I smiled, noticing that, after a long time, I shared the same enthusiasm as Papyrus.

I must have been staring because Paps waved at me energetically while she just let out a happy sigh.  

"BROTHER! I AM FIT TO THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL!" he exclaimed, making me smile even more. "I'LL FINALLY BE ABLE TO LEARN NEW THINGS, SANS!"

With Papyrus in school, I think I can work for a better future in the midtime.

After such a long time.

Everyone else was also excited, confirmed by Gaster's small and hypocritical smile.

He probably did better than I did.

I looked over his paper and saw it; he could instantly go for the scientist role in any place...

And I have to study.

My smile twitched a little but quickly forgot my dismay by a big hug from my brother. Oh lord, what I would do without him?

I wOUld prObaBLy k!ll mYsEl-

Calm down, Sans.

You've got this.

I returned to my old and casual smile, relaxing a bit. We're out of the Underground now- it's my chance to finally do what I want. And what I want to do right now...

It's to buy another book.

...

Nerd.

A lot of people are actually surprised when they hear I love reading, especially the classics. I must seem so relaxed and chill for them, then. Which it's good since that's my favorite side of me, but... maybe keeping this reading obsession out of view it's dragging me down. It would be better to find someone to share these things with...

But who?

I snapped back into reality and shrugged it off. I can't lose my cool.

I just can't.

Eventually, I caught up into the conversation everyone was being part of. As expected, the topics were related to the future and how are we going to make our dreams come true. (Y/N), however, was just smiling there, trying to fit in silently. But, obviously, she felt excluded every time she tried to gain the courage to say something.

She doesn't seem to be up for conversations, either. When Toriel asked her a few things, she stuttered and played with her fingers. I have no idea how I managed to understand everything she said, but somehow I could. Still, I feel sorry for her. She probably doesn't want to be here.

I wonder why she helped us, though. She hasn't asked for money just yet, and she tries her best to don't be rude at all. She apologizes a lot and freaks out whenever someone acts to be offended or sad. Whenever there is an argument, she probably has a mental breakdown and tries her best to don't surpass some limits or to let the problem go any further. The mere look of her face is the purest description of anxiety I've ever seen...

Maybe she suffers, indeed, anxiety...

But you just can't ask her, can you?

...

Of course not.

It would be stupid to arrive at her side and immediately ask "hey girl, do you have anxiety???".

She would stop talking to me, and considering that we'll see each other more in the future, I just can't go on and make our friendship awkward.

...

Wait- friendship?! You don't even know her that much!!!

...

But she indeed called me in the post-it as a friend.

My skull was starting to hurt, and curiously, it's been for a problem that isn't mine. I must admit, though; anxious or not anxious, (Y/N) seems to be really nice. And she's like, smart as fuck.

Or that's how I see her, who knows.

"HUMAN!" Papyrus exclaimed, snapping me back to reality... again. "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO NERVOUS TO TALK TO US? WE WON'T HURT YOU!"

Oh shi-

"Ah, eh... I, em, don't know...? It's just, ah... eh..."

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

"It's just, em... I... how do I explain, em... ah..."

Tell her something, you fucking asshole!!!!!!!

"ah, kid. you don't need to say it if you don't want to. i bet everyone will understand"

She just looked at me nervously, like if she was asking for reassurance. I nodded my head slowly and gave her a thumbs-up, trying to calm her down. She took a deep breath and smiled, a hint of confidence gleaming in her eyes.

Wait, is she going to say it? Why-

"Well, em, Papyrus" she started, shaking her hands in order to calm down "I suffer from something called... anxiety. I was diagnosed some months ago, actually".

Oh, so I was right?

How sad, she's so nice to suffer from something like that.

Wait, so that means she-

"wait, so you are enjoying your time here? for real?"

"Oh, of course!" she responded immediately, smiling nervously at my statement. I'm such an asshole "I actually was starting to miss getting out of my crappy apartment to socialize with other people! I'm... not the best at it, though. I do suck at making new friends and- shitidontevenknowifyouguysconsidermeasafriendimsosorry"

Was she for real? It's difficult to see this girl as someone not loved or wanted. I mean, I must admit she's pretty and, besides, she's super nice and patient. I'm starting to see that she didn't do this for money, but because that's her nature. A kind girl, not standing social injustices. Her words and her personality now make sense- she's just that different to others that she finds it difficult to have real friends.

"HUMAN! I'M DELIGHTED TO HEAR YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH US! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ACCEPT YOUR OFFER AND I'LL BE THE COOLEST FRIEND YOU'LL HAVE!"

I should probably tell her the same.

...

I'm rooting to be friends with this girl, I just can't dismiss the fact she wants some company.

But aren't I judging her too quickly?

...

She looks lonely for real, though.

I mean, I do have Papyrus, but she seems to have no one at her side. And that just fucking sucks. I don't think anyone deserves to be so lonely and so misunderstood. I don't even understand how she has dealt with it! I don't think I'll ever be able to be alone with my mind. I would have probably killed myself as a teenager and not been here.    

"hey kid, you've been really nice and, well, a real light of hope to all of us. i don't think anyone here wouldn't like to be your friend. or well, at least i don't, y' know?"

She smiled and seemed a lot more relaxed, as everyone else nodded at my words. I could see she felt more accepted, which made me feel better. It's stupid, isn't it? I feel good because I included someone that deserved to be included since the beginning.

"Oh, I know!" Frisk raised her finger in the sky, gaining all of our attention "We should do a huge sleepover party in order to commemorate our new friend, (Y/N)!"

Papyrus gasped with lights in his eyes, clearly excited about this new idea. (Y/N), though... she looked like she was freaking out a lot. I put one of my hands on her shoulder, trying to tranquilize her, and incredibly she did. She gave me a small smile and mouthed an "I'll be ok", which made me smile as well.

As much as I must hate humanity, I think she's an exception.

But I really don't know

"BUT FIRST!" Papy screamed, bringing with himself a ton of wood pieces and a hammer. Then he locked the door completely and put a padlock that I don't know where it came from. "THERE! NOW NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE PARTY! NYEH HEH HEH!"

I swear to God, almost everyone had a heart attack at that moment. And (Y/N), of course, seemed like she was dead for a moment.

Before we could react, a bunch of blankets and pillows were all over the couch, and my brother was already connecting the Wii and the Xbox. Undyne was bringing chips from the cabinet (without any permission, by the way), and the kid was getting some board games.

This is gonna be a long night.

(Y/N), without anything else to do, offered herself to help. But since she was "the guest", the official planners of this sleepover didn't let her. And since I wasn't going to help, we ended up sitting on the couch, talking about... well, anything.

"is there any way we can help with, uh, your anxiety?" I asked her, trying to feel more, well, accessible...?

"Well, um... I think I'll be ok. As long as I'm not dragged into a huge party with unknown people... which it's not totally happening, haha..." she paused, then she glanced at me in horror "Right?!"

"considering mettaton, uh..." I stopped, knowing I fucked up "...maybe?"

I shrugged at her with a small and nervous smile and her eyes widened a lot. I felt horrible, but I just couldn't lie to her. If she's gonna continue here with us, Mettaton's personality will need some... moderations? And honestly, I don't think he'll ever moderate that slutty character he has created, that it's the dirtiest version of himself.

She sighed though, realizing that, no matter how much she wanted things to be different, she couldn't change them. Or could she?

"It's okay, I guess" she started with a deep breath, like if this was something difficult to her "I mean, I just declared that I have anxiety, whichistilldontunderstandwhyidid, but that doesn't mean people should be different around me or take pity on me. The world just doesn't work like that, and that's fine! So I think there's no way to help my little ol' problem... except medicine, of course"

"oh, so you already went to the doctor then?"

"Yeah... but I constantly forget to take the, uh... pills..."

Wow, so she doesn't even care that much? Or it's just that she cares more about work? Probably the second, but it doesn't really matter. (Y/N) has anxiety and she isn't dealing with it the proper way, but I'm no one to tell her, well, anything about it. I haven't been responsible for ages, I'm not gonna tell this girl any advice about responsibility.

Not today.

Not ever.

"EVERYONE! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAS SETTLED THE GAME!" Papy shouted, shutting up all my thoughts about this kid. Thank God.

"oh really, and what is it bro?" I asked, sounding as lazy as usual and hiding my real self with a smile. It always works.

"TODAY, BROTHER!" he posed heroically "WE ARE PLAYING A POPULAR HUMAN GAME THAT REQUIRES STRATEGY AND GOOD THINKING!"

Huh?

"WE ARE PLAYING..." (notice the dramatic suspense)

"...MONOPOLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Is this the part where I shout in happiness or where I scream in horror?

[jackbeiste]

stumblin’ in [jack + sebastian]

characters: jack beiste and sebastian smythe (@sebastiansmythejoie)

date: october 15

note: jack wants to study, and sebastian feels surprisingly okay with it

warnings: minor explicit mentions

jack

He did feel a bit insecure about his sex life... perhaps not really the active sex life itself, but rather the way he quite enjoyed submitting to men... that he didn't actually know that well at all. It wasn't like he hadn't had his kinks during his solo sessions, but... he was truly getting an appetite for it. But the asks the other night made him hesitate. He felt embarrassed at the idea that people knew what he was doing. Whenever he had thought about sex before either Valerian or Sebastian, the realistic fantasies had always been... more making love. Now? He wasn't sure what the fuck was going on. Instead of cancelling on Sebastian, he decided that they were perfectly capable of doing something else - even if his idea of going to the library together was easily abandoned. Still, he actually felt quite relaxed as he knocked on Sebastian's door; strangely excited in a way to do something that didn't include getting their clothes off for once.

sebastian

Sebastian was looking forward to seeing Jack again, he was almost surprised the boy hadn't cancelled after yesterdays ordeal with the invasive internet people who seemed so interested in Jack's sex life. The younger man didn't exactly seem happy about how much was being shared but Seb wasn't ashamed and clearly neither was Val. He was just happy Jack hadn't been put off enough that he didn't want to see Bas again. Sebastian laughed at his phone seeing the text about studying and shook his head. Sure studying. Bas poured himself a drink as he closed his books for the night, not actually expecting to look at them again. He needed a drink though, things had been tough with Kat and Val recently and now that fencing competition season was close he was back to consuming nothing more elicit than a stiff drink. "Hello handsome" Bas smiled, opening the door for Jack, he chuckled seeing the books in Jacks arms.

jack

"Hey," he said softly, stepping inside. He had to admit, it felt a bit weird. It was the first time he'd meet up with Sebastian without... well, without sex being involved. He hoped the brunette would be okay with that. "I brau.... brought snacks to.. too." He walked over to place his books on Sebastian's table, shrugging his bag off to start piling up all his study snacks next to the books.

sebastian

Sebastian watched Jack with interest, again noticing the speech impediment but choosing to not mention it. Too many times in the past he had ended up in horrible situations because of things people couldn't change about themselves and Jack seemed like an honest good person and Seb didn't want to destroy that. Having someone honest and good around was what he needed right now, even if he would never admit it. "You know the only thing you needed to bring was yourself." He chuckled, but decided to go along with this plan to study, at least for a while. Seb sat down at the place at the table opposite Jack and flipped open the book on the top of his pile, taking a drink from the glass he had just poured.

jack

Jack rolled his eyes at the comment, though unable to stop a smirk. Even if it did fluster him a lot, he liked how Sebastian had no issue commenting on that kind of stuff. The words stayed with him all day, giving him a confidence he hadn't thought possible. He shrugged his bag off, candy and baked goods welling out like he'd packed for a month away in the woods. "Did your midtem.. midterms go ok, okay?" He asked softly, opening one of his books before looking for the right notebook on his bag filled with snacks and a few other things, like a notebook or two.

sebastian

Seb chuckled, his ability to make men smirk silly was one of his greatest sources of pride. "Mid-terms were as expected, A's across the board so keeping up my 3.9 GPA." He responded, with a look that said, 'I'm a genius and I know it'. "How were yours, Mr Pirates of the Caribbean?" Seb rolled his eyes in a playful mocking way, remembering Jack talking about his Pirates and the Carribean class earlier in the semester. A child-like mischievous look appeared on his face at the sight of baked goods. "Are you a baker?" He asked curiously, eyeing the treats.

jack

Jack nodded, not entirely surprised. He studied Law, after all... or he thought so anyway. He felt too shy to ask for clarification at this point. "I... okay, I thunk. Think," He said with a slight shrug. He'd been freaking out about midterms, especially as it was his very first time, even if he'd never been too concerned with grades (to be fair, he'd only gotten grades below A or B a few times, and it had mostly been math). "Sometimes... only at Val's. These are bau... bought."

sebastian

Seb tipped his head thoughtfully. "Did you not get your grades back yet? The deadline was supposed to be the 14th, that's why we had that weird camping social event so the profs could have a day full of grading." Seb rolled his eyes, teachers sure could be useless sometimes. "only at Val's" He stiffened in his seat. A flicker of something different crossed Bastian's face at the comment about Val. A lot of things in Sebastians life seemed to be hanging on that man. Seb was usually so relaxed around Jack but now he forced himself to stare at the text book in front of him reading the same sentence over and over. "How about you make me something sweet instead." Seb retorted, pushing down the feeling something was stuck in his throat.

jack

"I did... mostly As and Bs," He replied, not as used to bragging and boasting as Sebastian seemed to be. The only reason he got good grades was because he was also passionate about the subjects in his courses after all. He glanced over at the other man with a confused look, not entirely sure why his entire demeanor had suddenly changed. Was it somethint he had said? "Now?"

sebastian

Seb was slightly confused that Jack did in-fact know his grades but hadn't offered the information until Seb asked, especially when he had done well. He shrugged it off, taking another drink and grabbing a snack from the pile Jack had created on his dining table. "Sure, why not, unless you only bake for your special friend." He teased, letting humour cover his thoughts.(edited)

jack

"He's not...," Jack murmured, feeling his cheeks heat up. He knew Valerian and Sebastian had talked about him, and it made him a little nervous. "We're so.. supposed to studi.. study," He countered, looking over at the older man with a raised eyebrow. At least it wasn't sex he was suggesting, Jack reasoned with himself. Then again, baking had been the thing that somehow turned into sex at Valerian's. "Can you kv.. quiz me instead?"

sebastian

"That blush suits you handsome." Sebastian chuckled, it was easy to disarm Jack and he liked that. "Fine let's study." He rolled his eyes playfully, sticking his tongue out at Jack. Bas would never admit to any kind of jealousy and would do everything in his power to cover it and his playful expression was aiming to do just that. "Do you have flash cards or something or do you want me to surprise you?" He responded, reaching for Jack's text book, pushing his own aside.

jack

He flashed a grin at the way Sebastian stuck his tongue out, relaxing as the other man seemed to be okay after all. "Uh, there's some ques...tions at the end," he explained, gesturing for the other to turn the page. He liked the book because the quiz part was always easy but good, with concrete questions like, "where is Havana?" or "What did the Spanish mainly trade with in the Caribbean?"

sebastian

Sebastian flipped though the book, skimming some of the information; he was curious by nature and this was a completely new subject to him, learning new things was one of his pleasures in life. Finally he stopped at the page labelled quiz. "Okay here's a interesting one! What relation did Mary Read have to Mark Read?"

jack

A smile formed on his lips as Sebastian actually seemed to be looking for the chapter's study questions; it felt strange, but good, to be doing this. It wasn't all fucking with them, but it sure wasn't this. Sex was always the focus of their meetings. "All right, um...," He ran a hand through his hair thoughtfully. "Mark Read was Mary Reed, Read's alter-ego. She began dressing as a boy when she was young, and it eventually took her to the, ah, West Indies where she worked as a pirate under Jack Rackham."

sebastian

Sebastian cocked his head with a smile Jack was clearly in his element with this, and he was enjoying seeing passion in Jack that wasn't just for their sexual endeavours. "Way more information than they asked for but Mary Read sounds like a girl who knows what she wants, kudos." Seb looked back down at the book, but his eyes kept flicking back up to Jack's face. "Okay next question, What did the Spanish mainly trade with in the Caribbean?"

jack

"Yeah, but you know they'll want that part too on the eks.., exam," He shrugged, blushing slightly as he knew it was more his interest in the subject than in getting the best grade possible. "Uh, sugar and slaves."

sebastian

"Is it essay questions or quick answers for the exam?" Seb asked curiously, it was unlike him to openly take an interest in another person but Jack was interesting in him and that didn't happen often beyond being interested for sex. "So tell me what does a Pirates and the Carribean class get you after college?"

jack

"Both. At leash.. least on the midterms," Jack said, a bit thoughtfully. He quite liked it that way, even if he sometimes felt they used the wrong format for the wrong topics. Especially his class about witchcraft in american history. The professor loved to force them to go into details about mundane things, while the really interesting stuff only demanded quick answers; sometimes they were even just a simple three choice question. But he felt a bit uncertain wether that would interest Sebastian; he'd never been this interested in something that didn't clearly result in sex before. "Uh," he reached up to rub his temple, a small smile on his lips; both at the clear interest, and the fact taht he had no idea what he wanted to do. "It's not just pirates."

sebastian

Sebastian watched Jack carefully answering his questions about his classes, paying the younger man his full attention. He was getting more curious about Jack's speech; it seemed like he had more to say but was holding back, maybe because of his impairment, Seb wanted to ask but he knew this could go the wrong way and he didn't want to end up in any situation like he had done in the past. "What else are you studying?" He asked, gently pushing Jack to elaborate, he took a long drink from his glass, keeping his eyes on the other.

jack

He'd be lying if he didn't feel a bit surprised as well as relieved at how both Sebastian and Valerian seemed to just take his speech for what it was. It had felt more terrifying than he had expected to suddenly be in a new environment with none of his best friends around. Gabriel was there, sure, but it was different. His best friends from back home all had speech issues. But as relaxed as he felt, he still couldn't quite bring himself to talk freely. He kept the blabbering online. It made him feel safe, but he also felt limited. There was so much he wanted to say. But he supposed he also had a feeling Sebastian wasn't that interested. Perhaps the interest was simply because he didn't talk much. He doubted the older man would look as interested in what he was saying if he actually did say all he wanted to. "Uh, the wild west in popular culture. Wy.. Witches in America. All history stuff."

sebastian

"So you either want to teach kindergartener's history or you want to write period novels," Seb chucked, "Those are some wild class choices. The Ancient Egyptians and Romans will be so disappointed you're going all alternative." He rolled his eyes playfully. He was surprised how utterly interesting he found Jack and wanted the other to keep talking but he knew that wasn't necessarily a wish that could be fulfilled but as long as he kept talking Seb felt he could eventually get himself in under Jack's skin.

jack

He blushed at that, not as much at the former as the latter - Sebastian wasn't wrong about that part. "I prefer Perc.. Persia," he shrugged, covering up his trademark blush with a grin. He really did love Ancient Persia. "What do you study? You never told me." To be fair, Sebastian had told him extremely little about himself.

sebastian

"Aha good old Persia, always down for a fight, but what's got you so interested?" Seb laughed, History was something he was mildly interested in but really he just wanted to know more about Jack. Seb was fine bragging about his accomplishments but terrible at sharing personal things. "I'm in the Law program. Got to have some people with their head on straight ensuring the laws in this damn country are enforced." He shrugged, yeah he really was bad at talking about himself in a way that held any substance.

jack

"I...," Jack hesitated, not sure wether to go with the honest truth or just the truth. "I liked how it sounded in my head. I couldn't... get it right, but...," he shrugged, his speech choppier than usual as he told Sebastian something so personal. Maybe it wouldn't come off as personal, but sounds had always been personal to him. "Oh?" He smiled crookedly at that, amused at the phrasing. It seemed... very Sebastian. And he liked that.

sebastian

Seb cocked his head thoughtfully; it was like seeing into Jack's soul knowing sounds were so important to him even though he struggled so much with them. A shiver went through Seb as Jack told him something that was clearly so personal; he wasn't the kind of person others usually chose to confide in. "That part of Southwestern Asia is supposed to be beautiful so if you like the name of their historic empires maybe the place will be just as fascinating." Seb mused, it was nothing to him to think of taking a trip just because he had an interest in something, plus he had a niggling part of his mind wanting to whisk Jack away. "How else do you think they will know who needs to be punished." Seb winked, not ready to tell Jack his deeper feeling on his future in law.

jack

Jack nodded, reaching up to rub at his temple a bit nervously; something he often did when he felt vunerable or insecure. He hadn't expected to confide in Sebastian, it had just come out. He hoped the older man would be okay with it, even if he was clearly not the kind of person who liked to get personal. "I hope to c... see it one day," he said softly. He had travelled quite a bit with his father across America, but he'd never been abroad. Sometimes he wasn't sure he wanted to - afraid that reality would be a disappointment compared to the worlds he'd created in his mind. He chuckled at that, but felt a bit strange at how this made his heart buzz. He knew better than to see Sebastian like that. "You don't want to do the punishing?" He asked innocently, raising an eyebrow, as he took extra care to spell out the last word correctly.

sebastian

"Maybe if you're good I'll take you" Seb winked, teasing to lighten the mood. He was enjoying seeing inside Jack but serious conversations were not something he felt comfortable with often and Jack was new in his life, though admittedly he had seen more of Jack recently than some of his fuckboys across the lifetime of their 'relationships'. "Oh punishment I can do," Seb grinned at the so called innocent look on Jack's face. "Do you want me to show you how well I can punish?" He whispered seductively, leaning over so his lips were almost touching Jack's ear as he spoke.

jack

Jack swallowed hard at the question, almost dropping the pen he'd kept in his hand. The words, especially the way they were said, went straight to his crotch; he could feel his cock stir in his jeans. "I... yeah," he managed to get out before he could really stop himself, wanting nothing more than to be punished by Sebastian right now.

sebastian

Sex hadn't been the plan today, well in Sebastian's mind it had been but they had made plans to study but here they were once again about to spiral out of control. Seb seemed even more unable to keep things PG around Jack than everyone else in his life and that was saying something considering how often things turned sexual with Sebastian.

* * * * * * * *

jack

Jack collapsed onto the bed, body still shaking as he couldn't quite let go of the bed frame. He could tell he was going to be sore tomorrow, but right now he just felt bliss, almost sleepy bliss. He reached up just enough to be able to pull Sebastian on to the bed next to him, giving him a soft, almost thankful, kiss.

sebastian

Sebastian was panting hard but had a satisfied smile on his face and the post sex haze was settling over him. In the haze he allowed Jack to pull him in close and kiss him in what felt like a very sweet way; much sweeter than the kind of kiss Seb was used to and it made him shiver; goosebumps raising on his naked body. Bas kissed Jack back almost nervously; it was without his usual hunger, instead it was slow and soft, his eyes fluttering shut and simply feeling.

jack

He finally let go of the bed frame, his hand cupping Sebastian's cheek as he continued to kiss him; still soft, almost loving. He loved the taste of Sebastian; both bitter and sweet in a way he could never quite explain. And he loved the feeling of the other's naked body against his own, even when they were both as sweaty as now. He couldn't quite explain why, maybe it was because it was so rare - Sebastian was usually rather quick to get his pants on again, sometimes out the door before Jack had truly recovered. This was... different. His thumb stroked Sebastian's cheek, smiling into the kiss.

sebastian

Seb melted into the bed, letting himself be physically close to Jack. Post sex was raw and Seb had trained himself to escape that moment as soon as possible; he could never risk letting someone fall though the cracks in that moment when emotions were running wild. Right now though Sebastian's mind and body felt clouded in a way he wasn't used to and he couldn't bring himself to run from Jack. Even the thought of staying hot and sticky was usually enough to get him moving but right now he didn't care; the feel of Jacks hot messy body against him was almost soothing. Bas parted gently from the kiss and threaded his hands gently through Jack's hair; not rough as his did during sex but rather just enough to keep the younger man close so his sweet breath was hot on Seb's face.

jack

Jack sighed softly, a little sad the other man pulled away from the kiss but comforted by the way he ran his fingers through his hair. He leaned into his touch, his thumb still gently stroking Sebastian's cheek. He trailed one hand down to roll the condom off of the brunette, smirking at the fact that the other for once hadn't gotten around to that part yet. He removed his other hand from Sebastian's face to tie a knot on the condom, placing it as far away on the bed as possible; he'd throw it away later. Right now he just wanted to relish in the feeling of their warm, naked bodies against each other; Sebastian's soft skin sending shivers through him.

sebastian

Sebastian felt a thrill try and awaken his cock as Jack reached down to touch him but his body quickly relaxed again one the other had pulled off the condom. He was feeling quite self conscious that he was clearly too distracted to even remember that. Awkwardness was begining to creep up on Sebastian, he'd never spent this long laying with someone after sex, and he wasn't a person well versed in comfortable silences. He tried to think of something to say but he was distracted by the thumb caressing his cheek. Bas had never in all his long and torrid sexual history had someone caress him like this and suddenly he was feeling so overwhelmed when years of hidden emotions, crushed down under layers of cruelty and sarcasm, tried to escape.

jack

"I wish I didn't have to go," He murmured, his fingers running through the hair on the back of Sebastian's head; his eyes closed as he nuzzled into the pillow. He had no doubt this meant the study session had ended. Even if he wasn't expecting actual cuddling, it would be nice to just... lay there. If he wanted another turn, it was always rushed; often still too sensitive and exhausted from round one. And he would be lying if it didn't make him feel cheap sometimes,   almost expecting the older man to throw some coins at him as he rushed off. Maybe that wasn't fair - he knew what Sebastian was about, and yet he continued to see him. But it didn't make the feeling go away, or the feeling of constantly wanting just a little bit more of Sebastian for each time.

sebastian

"Shame we have people to do, things to see." Sebastian chuckled, spinning the common phrase on it's head as he often did. Laying here in the quiet with Jack the world seemed to slow and for a moment that was calming, nice even, but the world was starting to spin again and everything was catching up with him. He couldn't lay here forever because it just might start to crack the foundations of the walls he had built and he couldn't risk letting them fall; he couldn't risk getting hurt. "Speaking of things to do I have a Fencing preseason practice to get to shortly."

jack

Jack smiled small at that, though a little sadly as he knew time was up. He felt guilty about being such a bad fuck buddy, he knew what he had gotten himself into and yet, he couldn't help but expect more. It wasn't fair. "Yeah... yeah," he murmured, his hands withdrawing from Sebastian, not sure he could bear to continue to touch him now. Suddenly, he also wanted to leave. "I'll....," he gestured out towards the kitchen, almost rushing to grab the clothing items he'd dropped on their way from the kitchen table to the bed.

[astormyknight]

How I came out, Multiple Experiences.

The first person I came out to is dead. 

They have been for a long time. We lost her in Year 12 of High School or maybe it was when we were year 11. I just remember I was around 16. It was pretty traumatic for a lot of us. I can’t remember exactly when it happened, like what time of year except it was sometime during either the end of the year or middle of the year (even that is hazy), it was ten years ago or so now.

We weren’t super close, like we didn't hang out on weekends or after school or anything (my parents being super strict religious types who didn’t let me go into town unless it was to the library right up until I was in my last year/sort of learning how to drive).  

But right around when I was becoming aware of my sexuality, or rather why I wasn’t ‘normal’ (second year of senior high, like...2008-9 or something), we’d been writing letters to each other and talking heaps at lunch and in whatever class we shared (I think it was social studies or classics). She felt bad for me because I was such a fucking nerd, and super socially awkward and a little bit chubby/super KY(空気読めない ) - I had friends, but at the time I was becoming more and more uncomfortable hanging out because they were super religious, made me feel like shit sometimes (except the other Hannah who was and still is cool) because my family were new to the church and I was (still am) a little...weird??? I was slowly becoming closer with the kids I took the bus part of the way home with/was in rowing with and their friends, but she kind of noticed how sheltered I was and was kind about showing me it was ok to open up, ask questions and try new things I guess. 

 ANYWAY my Mum had a bad opinion of her, but she was one of the most amazing people who went out of her way to make me see myself as a person and not a monster/demon from hell destined to return, and I couldn’t help her do the same, our situations were so different, I dunno, life is a bitch and it weighs down the best people. She made some bad choices as teenagers do, but her family wasn't really there for her either.  ((My Mum scoffed at her and in earshot one day when she came to pick me up about a month or two before the incident  and said to me that she wasn’t the sort of friend I wanted, and that she was destined to go nowhere (and in my first real act of defiance I stood up for her, called her hypocritical, and continued to write letters.))    

I dunno why but this time of year I always have really shitty dreams about that time, about the last time I kind of awkwardly brushed off her hug goodbye (like I always did, I hated and still do hate, physical affection) and how I wish I’d reciprocated even just a little. Not being able to go to her memorial because my Mum still didn’t like her/her own parents were dicks/I wasn’t in her super close circle of friends. I know I couldn’t have done more than I did, even with some of the content in the letters, I didn’t know what she was going through exactly, I didn’t really GET how bad things were for her. I thought she was going to be able to tough shit out and make her break eventually, but yeah. Life is rough, teenagers go through shit, and yeah. I’ve been dreaming lately, and it sucks ass. I always have this guilt about my grief because I wasn’t in her inner circle, but to me she was the only person really I trusted at that time with one of my “darkest” secrets.  

The second person I came out to was one of the kids I rode the bus home with who is a total no bullshit person. To this day, I am slightly scared of her, but in the best way. She told it like it was. Super awesome and still is, I’m gutted I missed the opportunity to catch up over winter last year when I was in England. I’d borrowed a French CD from her as I was trying to break my weeb phase and try music from other places, and she was worried about the racy cover, the torso of a naked woman (Indochine’s Paradize). MY DUMB ASS TEXTED BACK AND WAS LIKE...DUDE, I’M A LESBIAN...or some stupid shit like that (what a way to come out, over some pervy CD cover....gods I was/am dumb). I don’t think she really knew how to handle it, like it was SUPER out of left field, and like yeah. I don’t really remember what happened after that, she never treated me any different, she asked a lot of really sensible questions, and was patient with me. I think this was in our final year of high school, but it could have been towards the end of year our second year. 

I told her best friend at the time shortly after that, and she was kinda weird about it, lol, but like in her own way...Like in a lot of ways I think she’d guessed (I think a lot of my peers had guessed before me, in typical useless lesbian fashion) because I would always say stuff like “If my friend was gay, that’d be ok, so long as they didn’t try anything on me...” “Love the sinner, hate the sin....” ect. ect. This was right around the time when Gay Marriage was in the news for one reason or another, roughly around three years or so before it became legal in New Zealand. So that was a ride. I still don’t know how the whole thing didn't get blown up by her and she didn’t tell the rest of our peers (if she did, they kept it quite and were really respectful, waited for me to tell them). I was terrified of my family or the teachers finding out too...for a little bit anyway, and then towards the end of Year 13 I think I came out to everyone (except my family) and just was like fuck it, if people have a problem with it, I’ll just punch them/shout at them and then go cry in the toilets or something - but I didn’t need to because for whatever reason most of my year group were really cool about it! 

There were a few people in between then though.

For some reason I was in a car with a fellow self proclaimed nerd some time late at night driving somewhere in town (to or from a movie, or potentially ball lessons or something?Maybe even something to do with a one year memorial to above mentioned friend, I REALLY can’t remember.)  This person was also one of the people I felt the least judged around, like I’d say a lot of dumb shit or nerd out about something and they’d either laugh, give me a look that was like... you weirdo....but never treated me any different. I think at this point I was like... .I don’t remember how it came up, but I was like...please don’t crash, but I think I like girls. And I think I also said how I’d told above two friends, but wasnt out to family because that would not be a fun time ect. I don’t remember much after the fact, but for me this was significant because baby gay me was sweet on her (don’t freak out if you’re reading this dude please, like I at this point I was still struggling with the whole admiration vs romantic interest thing. I thought you were super straight, didn’t want to take/ruin any friendship we had for granted, wasn’t like really interested in dating anyone even though in highs school that wasnt and option anyway ect...I thought/think you are cute, have a good sense of humor, great taste in books and are very kind and intelligent, qualities that I really respect and value in all my friends). She’s a cool kid, probably the one who had the closest interests to me out of that whole group in terms of reading taste and interest in Japanese stuff. I AM SO SORRY. SO. SO SORRY I TOLD YOU WHILE YOU WERE DRIVING. My sense of self preservation at that/this time is obviously no-existent.  Also cheers for not telling my Mum...she thought you were neat and I think she talked to you a bit about unrelated stuff (probably for you Halloween party??? occasionally at cycling, you were legit the only friend I’ve had that like, she approved of) at some point. 

One of the more popular/well respected/super out of my social status girls and I were taking extra scholarship exams for biology and classics. She was super popular, super snobby, REALLY EMOTIONAL, weirdly open about the grossest stuff and also really beautiful. I was SUPER intimidated by her, and she like flat out asked me why I wasn’t interested in any of the guys I hung out with outside of school/never talked about any crushes on celebrities... again...Dude, I like girls I think... (I ALSO HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON MY MARRIED CLASSICAL HISTORY TEACHER. FUCK. MY. LIFE. Never told anybody at school though.) She was SHOOK. To her credit, she recovered quickly asked a bunch of questions and promised not to tell my parents. I think she told some of her other popular friends, who to their credit, didn’t treat me any different and didn’t out me to teachers or my parents. As mentioned,  my peer group was surprisingly blase about stuff like that (probably owing to one of their own coming out of the closet at some point either at the same time/a while before me). I wasn’t exactly bullied for that, but I was picked on for other things (like my nerdiness, my weight, my quirky habbits, my loathing of all things feminine that I had to wear including my uniform, my lack of fashion sense, my scatterbrained-ness). 

Another one of the more fiery kids was super cool about it too. She was always a bit much for me, and also the last person I expected to be one of the first people to get married/partnered up and have a house/kid on the way. She was probably the one who grilled me the most on everything. Because until this point I was one of the SUPER religious kids, with SUPER traditional parents.

Once I hit Uni, I went full baby gay. Came out to my room-mates right away. No problems there. Came out to friends I made right away. Came out to pretty much everyone I met and was bloody obnoxious about it. How I didn’t accidently out myself to family until like...third year Uni I HAVE NO IDEA. 

At this point I was “seeing” someone from online, who halfway through third semester of my first year was cheating with a dude from Auzzie. I got so upset I actually went propper drinking after one of our college functions and broke down. I came out to my parents then, at the end of year, right before final exams, I wrote a drunk email - got my very patient older flatmate to check it (she was an insomniac, and still awake at 3am watching shitty tv and studying). She made me wait until at least 7am and a cat nap/a shit ton of water and sobering up and a final read through before I clicked send. 

My Mum must have read it at like, 8am, because I got an email right around 10am and it went down like a ton of bricks. Bible verses and pleas to get help and they drove up and saw me to lecture me the next week, we had a fight of sorts, in public, but not like a super big one, just one where Dad didn’t talk for me the whole summer after that (I went home against my better judgment to work and not pay rent...I relied on them for money during Uni, and have mixed feelings about that, I am grateful they still gave me the opportunities they did, but somewhat bitter because they don’t LISTEN to anything I say that challenges what they believe when I had/have to consider and listen to what they believe) and then not until like...the middle of the next year? Yeah, it was a wild ride. 

We still are very tense with each other and fight about a lot of stuff, they get progressively more racist/homophobic every year but then they have lulls where we don`t talk about stuff of that vein and it’s almost like we’re a family again? My brother is mostly cool, he’s not super on board with gender diversity, but he’s been doing some reading recently and at least uses my preferred pronouns and name most of the time...

Only some of the extended family know, basically one family of cousins on my Dads side (plus their parents), and only one of the girls on my Mums plus her parents who are awesome (they offered to have me come stay with them and help out if my family booted me). I haven’t said anything to the grandparents. I actually outed myself accidentally to my cousin on my Dads side in third year, at a friends place (I thought I outed her, accidentally, then remembered....shit, she’s out to everyone, I’m only out to friends...) - she was in a dorm together and asked how I knew my friend. “Oh, we both go to the same LGBTQAI+ support group...” I say. “Fuck....” I say. “Dammit, I owe Sarah (older cousin) $50″ she texts me after she breezes out the door to some party. 

The one almost family member I nearly told died before I could come clean. Shortly after I came out to my parents, a family friend of ours, who my parents knew through cycling, got really aggressive cancer. She was gone by mid-way through my second year in July. I’ve been dreaming about her too recently, I always dream about the two of them this time of year. I think Nic knew, she would always talk about stuff with me that made me feel super supported and loved. I miss her, and regret this the most.

- So yeah. TLDR; I HAVE BEEN HAVING SAD DREAMS. I am avoiding sleeping even though I need to be up early to prove to my bank that I AM NOT DOING MONEY FRAUD BECAUSE I AM A FOREIGNER I DAMN WELL LIVE AND WORK HERE AND HAVE A STUDENT LOAN!

[rollzerox]

Slayers Secret Santa 2018

Merry Christmas @applecakeart Surprise I’m your Secret Santa for @slayersweek and can I just say it’s an honor to write something for my FAVORITE Xelloss/Lina artist? I stalked your artwork so much when I was writing my fanfiction The Soul Touch and you were always an inspiration! Hope you enjoy I tried to us all 3 of your prompts, first attempt at a Slayers Modern AU for me actually

FF.net and Ao3 links:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17152457

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13157291/1/Christmas-Dragon-Slave-Party

Why did she come here again? … Oh right, free food. Lina Inverse sighed as she overheard several guests at the party groaning how they were snowed in now due to the heavy winter storm outside. It was Christmas Eve and her roommate from college, Amelia, had decided to host a party at her home which was a freaking mansion. Her family was insanely rich, making Lina wonder why she was going to a simple college but it was obvious she chose the same college as her high school crush, Zelgadis. Lina couldn’t blame the girl, but damn if Zel wasn’t blind as to how badly that girl had it for him! She drummed her fingers on the table while getting herself another serving from the buffet, she already had taken at least 30 plates by this time but since the food kept coming she couldn’t complain too much… Just these damn heels were going to be the death of her. But a fancy dress was required that was the downside of this social gathering… Along with all the people she had no desire to socialize with. The most she could do was converse with her fellow college friends, Gourry and his girlfriend – or rather fiancée as he had proposed to her recently – Sylphiel, Zelgadis himself whom was a study friend but she was trying to allow Amelia a little alone time with him, Filia whom kept complaining she needed to get home to her son Val soon and was on her cell phone in a panic and… Him.

 The purple haired man approached Lina with a bow. “You look bored, Miss Lina. Perhaps we should occupy each other for the night until the weather clears up?”

 “… Xelloss, why exactly are you here?” the redhead asked, arching her eyebrow. It baffled her that he was here, the library assistant rarely ever went to ‘stuffy parties’ as he called them.

 Xelloss wagged his finger tauntingly at her. “Now that… Is a secret.”

 Lina’s eyebrow twitched at that annoying phrase he often used. “This doesn’t seem like your kind of place to hang out.”

 “Miss Amelia insisted actually, and I couldn’t be rude to her.” Xelloss shrugged his shoulders. “Besides, she mentioned you’d be here, and I thought we could always have a chat.”

 Lina chewed on her bottom lip while looking to the side. She hated to admit it, but she liked his company whenever they met up at the library and she was studying for her exams. He was rather knowledgeable and her thirst for that knowledge kept him interesting. They often found all kinds of subjects to focus on, and she always seemed to learn something new from him – not that she’d ever admit it to his face. His company was pleasurable, and she felt rather comfortable around him as he was a good listener, and never judged her for her bent sense of humor. She could joke about wishing she had magic to set her instructors on fire and he’d help her come up with all kinds of interesting ways to add to it, while most people would consider her insane just for the thought or think she was psychotic.

 “I suppose it couldn’t hurt, nobody is going anywhere with all that snow outside.” Lina finally said, taking a seat in the corner away from most of the other guests. “… Might as well get away from all the stuffy shirts.”

 “I’m surprised you’re not trying to find yourself a rich suitor in the bunch.” Xelloss chuckled as he took a seat. “I recall you rambling once that if you could marry into money you’d never have to worry.”

 “Well I’ve learned from that, a loveless marriage won’t do me any good.” Lina scoffed, finishing off the food on her plate as she took a drink. “Granted I still want a life of luxury kind of like what Amelia has here, but after meeting her I’ve seen how so many of these people act and it would drive me crazy… I mean even Amelia can annoy me sometimes.”

 “Yes, her extreme sense of justice can be… Jarring.” Xelloss twisted his mouth, recalling how often the young woman would lecture their whole group. “All the same, I suppose it’s not surprising you didn’t wish to spend Christmas with your family back home.”

 “And have mom and dad rub into me how sis is the perfect role model and I need to take over the family business?” Lina grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. “No thanks, running a grocery store just isn’t for me. I want to travel while I still have my youth and beauty. I’ll settle down when I’m forty.”

 Xelloss laughed at that one. “Still the adventurous one I see, I remember that time you came with me and Mr. Zelgadis as mother sent me that cruise package, you couldn’t get enough of the sights. So is that what you’ll do once you are finished with college? Travel?”

 “If I can afford it.” Lina grumbled. “Unlike you and Amelia I don’t have a bottomless income to do as I please. Not all of us have a single mother that owns one of the largest businesses in the country. I mean you didn’t even really have to go to college, your job is all set for you once you take over for her.”

 “Yes, yes, but I like to keep myself entertained, and sitting behind a desk with paperwork sounds rather boring.” Xelloss shrugged. “In fact, after college I plan to travel abroad, mother actually likes the idea as she wishes I try to look for opportunities to spread her business as well.”

 “Really now? I guess that makes sense considering she had you learn a few languages a couple years back.” Lina noted, she had recalled how the purple haired man had showed off his ability to speak five languages saying his mother spoke eight. Lina herself studied two because her hometown had several immigrants and it helped to speak their local language to assist in the store. “So…. You’re going to travel all by yourself?” her eyes averted his as her fingers twirled in circles.

 And he caught that as he smiled. “Well it would be nice to have some sort of company with me, perhaps someone with some knowledge as I haven’t studied much in certain areas and…”

 “Oh I’d come and assist for a decent price if you need help, maaaybe I can offer a discount.” Lina piped up right away, giving an excuse to get what she wanted and make a profit, that was often typical with her.

 “I’ll keep the offer in mind, Miss Lina.” Xelloss chuckled, then noticed the redhead shiver a bit. “Are you alright?”

 “… It just seems a bit cold in here for some reason, guess this corner by the windows isn’t well heated…” Lina grumbled, it didn’t help she had a dress with no sleeves. She was about to get up when Xelloss shifted in his seat, placing his dinner jacket around her. “Eh?”

 “I thought you could use something to warm up.” Xelloss said with a smile. “It’s still snowing outside so the temperature could be going down in here too.” He noticed the party was still going on but nobody really noticed them in their corner. But he was snapped out of his train of thought when Lina leaned closer to him. “Miss Lina…?”

 “What? You’re warm so I’m just trying to make you useful.” Lina scoffed with a hint of a blush on her face. “… My useful item #4.”

 “… It’s nice to be someone’s useful item I suppose.” Xelloss chuckled at that. “But may I ask who or what are the other 3?”

 “To quote you, it’s a secret.” She immediately dodged, closing her eyes and relaxing against his shoulder. She then blinked when she felt something around her neck and immediately opened her eyes, her cheeks stained with a blush when she saw a strange necklace around her with a bright red gem on an amulet that hung from the silver chain. “W-what’s this?”

 “Just some trinket I had acquired during one of my mother’s business trips she took me on, the color reminded me of your lovely eyes, Miss Lina.” Xelloss shrugged, smiling at her and showing his violet eyes for once. “Think of it as a Christmas present or a down payment on your future help. I remember you liked some trinkets like this that look like ancient relics and thought it would look nice on you.”

 Lina was speechless at that, blushing worse as she quickly looked away. “… You really are a fruitcake, you know that?” she muttered.

 “Perhaps, but that blush suits you.” Xelloss teased.

 “… Shut up.” Lina closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. “And before you say something I’m just still cold that’s all… Don’t read too much into it.”

 Xelloss laughed at that, patting her on the back. “Oh I won’t… I promise.” He took a moment looking out the window to see the snow still coming down in big fluffy flakes. “… Merry Christmas, Lina-chan.”

[arushistudies-blog]

SAT study plan for anyone taking it this year

Okay listen up we’re gonna ACE the shit out of this SAT. I wanna help y’all achieve your goals and be the best student you can be. But this requires DISCIPLINE and MOTIVATION. If you’re like me and don’t get results without actually trying, this is for you. (Put under a keep reading because this long really long and kind of personal oops I promise there’s good information there) 

Sidenote: I only used khanacademy for this and found that it worked wonderfully for my needs. If you have test prep books or other things of that sort, I can’t speak for them but use whatever you think will help you the best, I just trusted khanacademy because it was actually partnered with collegeboard and figured that their practice questions would align to what I would actually see on test day. It’s totally free, which is a bonus!

Alright so my first attempt at the SAT was a 1440: 730 reading, 710 math. Some of you are probably thinking that that’s a good score, and you’re right, it’s not bad. But personally, I wanted to do better, and I wasn’t seeing enough improvement fast enough. I took the December 2017 SAT and March was my last chance because I was unable to take any SAT later than that, so I needed to improve FAST. The problem was that I didn’t do anything over winter break, and once school began again in January, I had to worry about 6 APs again. Not to mention, I had an important competition coming up in February so I basically did no SAT prep until mid-February. I had exactly one month for my score to go up, and maintain my grades.  So I quit my job for the time being, because mentally I couldn’t handle everything happening at once. That’s okay. Do what you need to do for your mental health. That is so so so important and I wish I had prioritised it more throughout my junior year. I started doing homework at lunch and trying to finish as fast as possible at home, so that I could maximise my allotted time for SAT prep. I would usually finish homework around 11 PM to midnight-ish. 

I focused my prep more towards math, because that was what I struggled more with. So what I did was I forced myself to do 50 questions of math concepts that I struggled with the most. Sounds doable, right? The catch was, I had to get all 50 right. If I missed one, I would have to restart my 50 question count and I wouldn’t let myself go to sleep until I had done so. 

I did prep for reading as well! I kind of followed the same thing as math, except I had to get 3 whole passages in a row right, otherwise I wasn’t allowed to sleep.

Every Friday and Saturday would be spent finishing my homework and getting as far ahead as possible for the next week. Every other Sunday, I would take a practice test, review, and every Sunday, I would spend the whole day dedicated to SAT prep. This got really unhealthy for me because obviously I wanted to get ahead, but the sheer amount of work I had from each class + the decreasing motivation I had as time went on and I got more and more burned out meant that I worked slower, and in order to get everything done, I would pull all nighters. Already, I was sleeping about 4-5 hours a day throughout the week, and while others were partying it up over the weekend, I was watching the sun rise and groaning because I still had work to do. If you feel like you’re overstressed, take a break. Do something you love. It doesn’t help anyone if you keep going but your heart isn’t in anything anymore, if you have no social life, if you can’t remember the last time you got a good night’s rest, if you can’t remember why you even want to go to a good college anymore. You come first. Always remember that. 

That’s what I did to see my score go up. Obviously you don’t have to be as extreme as this, but if you’re in a time crunch and really need your score to go up, I found this method to be extremely effective. Not being able to sleep until I was done was a really good incentive for me, but even if you don’t incorporate that element into your practice, it’s still a good idea to do a lot of practice. You’ll find that you get better and faster as time goes on. 

My final score was a 1550: 790 math (stupid circle question) and 760 reading. Obviously I should have done more reading practice than I did, but what’s done is done. A 1550+ was good enough for me and it’s certainly good enough for colleges, so I decided to focus my efforts elsewhere for the remainder of the year. Good luck to everyone this year! I know you’ll do great :) but no matter what your score is, remember that you are more than a test score, more than a GPA, more than what college you get into. Just try your best. Anyone freaking out about SAT, ACT, AP exams, whatever it may be, read this. 

[grandmaster-flashraf]

.

This is just me trying to get all of my emotions out of my person so I can focus on studying for my last 2 exams this semester so if you read this and feel any sort of emotion at all whatsoever then yay I did a thing. I'm literally just venting but I don't want to just write it down and I know writing some fkn tumblr post about it is corny as fuck but oh well I don't want to write it on paper only to throw it in the trash. So basically on February 4th 2017 I tried to overdose on Tylenol because I just couldn't deal with my life anymore and frankly I'm feeling the same way now as I did on that day but maybe getting these feelings out will somehow get rid of it. When I was younger I thought I was just above relationships, that they weren't for me at all and I couldn't see any future version of me being in a relationship with a girl. I thought kissing and the idea of sex was nasty unlike people around me who in grade 6 were already turning into little horny animals. I was so high and mighty in my own mind thinking hah I won't be distracted by girls I don't like them at all screw relationships. Then I realized; oops, I like boys, not girls. But being in a middle eastern Muslim family didn't exactly make that easy and so I kinda bottled up that feeling. Apparently I wasn't very good at it though because supposedly it showed in the way I walked and talked and carried myself as a person. My dad had his suspicions and for some reason thought my brother had sexually harassed me which is genuinely disgusting to me especially considering that this is my only brother now that upon hearing about this part of me didn't try to make me change it. So anyways he asks me about this and if I'm gay and I deny both because the first is outright disgusting and the other I'm not ready to share. He basically pushes me further into the closet when he tells me that if I'm gay he can just take me back to Egypt and I can marry a girl there and have a family. Oh I forgot to mention this was when I was like 12 or 13, so needless to say I didn't take it very well. So there's me just trying to get good grades in elementary school because, you guessed it, I was (and frankly still am) an overweight socially awkward child. All I had was a slight predisposition to be intelligent. So life goes on and I do make friends and form bonds with people, but never get into any relationships. Then high school was a thing and I went to a high school where I knew like 5 people going into grade 9. That was probably the most uneventful year of my life until I fall in love with theatre at the end of the year and decide to start doing improv in grade 10 and throughout high school I find joy in it. I make more friends and become closer with the people around me, but still not really impressing anybody at home with anything I do. My love of performing was pushed down by my doctor dad, and when I came home from an actual scripted show I performed and won the competition that night, all I get is the remark that I can focus on school again because all this stupid theatre stuff is over. It's funny how I became so interested in something so looked down upon by my parents, and honestly a huge part of me loved performing and I definitely liked that something I loved to do also pissed off my dad. I also perform at a coffee house event and when my parents find out that the funds were going to support LGBT homeless youth my mom tells me they deserve to be homeless because they might as well have killed somebody and my dad just outright gets mad. So then I'm deciding to go to university to study math, and I was pretty good at it coming to the end of high school. I get accepted to an actuarial science program and I tell my parents I want to accept my offer, but to no avail. They make me take another offer to a science program. I enjoy science, but I had just put in so much effort into researching actuarial science programs and learning about future career opportunities that having my dream thrown under the bus was gut wrenching. They also make me move into an apartment in the same building as my grandma, a 30 minute bus ride from campus. But I'm excited because at least in this city I can just be myself. Even though I had uncles and aunts also living in that city, I was going to take the opportunity to just be myself and not hide my sexuality. I came out to a handful of my close friends in high school, and honestly with the way I was acting I was overcompensating for the fact that I hadn't actually just come out by liking stereotypical gay guy things like Beyoncé and lady gaga and that's a part of why I did theatre too. But regardless, my dad must've predicted that I wanted to be myself when moving to this city because he told me one of his doctor friends said that I'd been fucking guys all throughout high school, keep in mind that I literally never went to a single party because I was barely ever allowed out of the house after dark. He told me that if I was gay I should just wait until he's dead because this would kill him anyways. That he'd never be able to look any other family member in the eye when he has a gay son. That I should watch out in this city because I have other family members in the city who know people and if word gets out everybody is going to know. I don't know to this day what he expected to come of that conversation. He wanted me to change the way I walked, talked, and moved my hands around while I talked, but that person was the one that got accepted to the every university he applied to. I had adhered to every single rule put on me my entire life, and still being me just fucking wasn't enough. We had this conversation while my mom was visiting my sister and her newborn kid, and this was also the day before I was going to drive to this new city and move the rest of my things into this apartment. I had sushi the next day with a close friend of mine who knew I was gay but didn't tell her about what my dad told me. I don't go home from university until one of my other siblings is getting married. I'm the youngest of 7, and when my parents got married they each had 3 kids of their own and they together just had me, so there's a pretty big age gap between my siblings and I. So this brother of mine is getting married over thanksgiving weekend in October and I'm stuck with my family in a hotel trying to study for midterms but being forced to do a bunch of wedding stuff because the wedding planner just disappears as usual. That whole weekend just stressed me out, but I still did okay on my midterms. It wasn't until around the end of October where I went home for 2 days because we had a study break from school Thursday/Friday followed by the weekend. My dad asks me that weekend if I can promise him that he'll see me get married to a girl and have a child before he dies and I just agree and brush it off but I know what his intentions were with that comment. So I leave home early and head back to my apartment because I'm not putting up with that kind of bullshit anymore. But it had to manifest into something so I started self harming. Wow cutting yourself in 2016 so edgy. But anyways I literally just couldn't function anymore so I went to a 24 hour crisis centre in my city and just spill all of this information on to one of the counsellors there. I forget her name, but she was an older white woman who was very aware of the fact that she couldn't understand the cultural implications of my situation, but I still wanted to just try and talk it out. I have it in my head that I just need to become a doctor or successful whatever and then tell my family I'm gay and at that point when I'm financially independent they can't touch me. I confide this is one of my friends from high school and he tells me that he cares about me but can't help me from where he is and that I need real help. He also tells 2 of my other best friends from high school about my situation. All of them knew I was gay but they were so genuinely worried about me that I just carried myself on. So the end of my first academic term comes around and one of my best friends calls me telling me she'd overdosed. I was in the library studying for my calculus final so I panic and call somebody else close to her to go get her asap. I don't know how I managed to stay calm and get her help while simultaneously getting the highest mark I've ever gotten on an exam the next day while thinking about one of my friends being in a hospital without me there. I just finish my exams and I don't actually end up seeing her over the winter break. I say break with a grain of salt because it definitely wasn't a break for me. I left my car at my apartment because there wasn't space for it with all my siblings visiting, so I couldn't leave the house for basically 3 weeks. On top of that I didn't have a room to stay in, just a mattress in the basement next to some gym equipment nobody used. My dad tried to make me use it, and came down multiple times a day to tell me I should use it instead of laying around all day. I'm pretty sure that this lack of a break is what really pushed me over, but it was still only December heading into 2017. I was exhausted from finals and wanted to relax, but life didn't award me such luxury. I headed into the second academic term mentally exhausted, still didn't go home at all. I had a chem midterm Friday February 3rd and then a bio and physics midterm Saturday the 11th. Oh, and another one of my close friends tries to overdose in January, once again I'm the first to know about it and I freak out and call her roommate. She gets the help she needs and because she told me so early they flushed her system fast and she was out of hospital a day later. I feel bad that I don't remember exactly what day it was. So after my chemistry midterm that I studied for the entire week, I tell myself that February 4th is going to be a productive day of more studying for my next two midterms. I did absolutely nothing all day and at around 6 or 7 pm I decide I want to die. But I know I'm too much of a bitch to just take the pills, so I drink some vodka and 30 Tylenol 500mg each. I found something online that said how much Tylenol was lethal, and calculated it based on my body weight how many I needed to take. By the time I was taking the pills I'd sobered up and didn't take enough of them for my weight. I bitched out. Thought I'd be fine and I just went to sleep. I woke up the next morning vomiting bile. One of my high school friends snapchats me something funny, but I ignore it and respond to him telling him what I did. We go to the same university, so he's just a bus ride away. Still, his response is just "wtf why did u do that." And when I respond telling him why, he never opens it. So a few more hours go by and I'm going back and forth between my bed and my bathroom every 20'minutes or so until I message one of my friends I've made here at my university. I tell him what I've done and he does the responsible thing of telling his parents who also live in the city and they call an ambulance. At this point I'm so defeated I give them my address and the ambulance shows up. Nobody sees me get taken out of the building. I forgot a phone charger though, and that was just another mistake I made that day. So I get to the nearest hospital and they ask me if I want my emergency contact to be called. It's my mom, and because I'm 18 I decline. I don't want any family to know I'm there. I have blood work done and they put me on an IV. I'm falling behind on schoolwork by the second but I have my phone so I ask my nurse if she has a phone charger. They don't have any laying around the hospital, but she says I should call a friend and have them come see me. I really regret putting my friends through all that stress. They don't deserve it. I call one of my friends who I've known since elementary school. He lives on campus. I tell him I tried overdosing and I can hear him tear up. I feel bad because I hear people around him so I know that must've been embarrassing. He's one of the three friends who in November knew how I was feeling. I guess he tells my other friend from another school who told him about it, and then this friend calls me, also tearing up. I still remember exactly how he sounded on the phone. He calls the last friend from November who knew how I was feeling, and she's also the one who overdosed back in January. She calls me, and as we're talking my phone dies. She didn't cry at all; she was stronger than me. As my phone dies my friend on campus that I called shows up with my other friend that I Snapchatted that morning. I just feel embarrassed at this point. I'm in a stupid hospital robe and I'm just over exposed while laying on a hospital bed in emerg. They're shocked when they walk in. They start of by just acting normal but eventually the conversation just takes a turn and they're concerned for why I didn't talk to them. I always just felt like a burden on people, I always wanted to be self sufficient. That's where my plan of waiting until I'm financially stable came from. I didn't say that to them. I just say I don't know, and at the time I couldn't formulate any reason why so basically I really didn't know. What I knew is that I had friends to cared about me. After they left, my friend who tried to overdose in December took a bus from her different city to come visit me at 1am. I told her not to come but I'm so glad she did. She sat with me and talked to me like a normal human being, and stayed up all night. I fell asleep in my bed but she stayed up all night doing her psychology work, and I woke up in the morning with a note from her that I still keep on my phone case behind my phone to this day. She had to catch her bus back at 7:30 am because she had class that day, but still she came to visit. I see more and more people that day to ask me questions but it took me until Tuesday to see the psychiatry team. I was feeling better emotionally, but physically just gross. I hadn't showered or changed since Friday or Saturday. My facial hair was nasty too. The first person from the team who sees me is an Indian guy. We connect immediately, and he understands my perspective and the significance of my situation. He was only a student doing his residency though. The other three team members were old white women who basically gave me the decision to stay in the hospital for 2 more weeks or call my family for support and to come out to them officially. One of them even had the audacity to even ask me "do you really think they don't know you're gay." That struck a cord, and to this day I still hate that bitch. But Wednesday I called my brother, the one who my dad thinks made me gay, and I tell him what happened. He calls my parents and starts to drive to where I am but he's farther away than they are, so they get to me first. The first thing my dad says to me is that he knew I was at a high risk for this kind of thing. I thought at the time he meant to OD, but soon after I realized it was still the gay thing. I let him talk and tell me all this bullshit, but he just goes on and on about how put all the gays on an island and we'll die off, how it's not in our genes to be gay, and that this was my choice. He also said that I'm the one who chose the program I went into and chose to live off campus. He said all of this was on me. He and my mom came to this hospital to tell me that everything was in my head. I couldn't believe it. Then my parents asked me who else from my hometown knew so they could "deal with it" whatever that means. They asked me who I was having sex with, and that if my guy friends were really just people I was having sex with. It was the most demeaning experience I've ever had in my life. But my brother showed up and shut it down. I don't know how, but he did. We were speaking in Arabic the whole time, and disagreed entirely on just about everything we talked about in that hospital except for the fact that I needed to leave asap. The next day my parents and brother spoke to the psychiatry team and by some stroke of luck got them to lift my form and let me leave. My mom stays with me for the next 3 weeks and psychiatry sets me up an appointment with a professional at the university to talk to for some follow up. In the meantime I've missed a week of class and have to get my midterms moved from the 11th because I left the hospital Thursday afternoon and no way I could write them in less than two days. Walking on to campus the next day with a doctors note saying I was in the hospital was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I was so out of touch with how to interact with people. I walked up to an academic counsellor to ask her what I needed to do to get my exam moved and missed assignments taken care of and she told me to go fill out a form. While I was filling it out she said "maybe you should ask somebody else next time how this works or just look it up online ahead of time." I had almost burst into tears right there in the academic counselling office but I got everything moved to the next week and tried to make things go back to normal but everybody treated me differently. Only one of my new friends I had made new what happened because he's the one who called the ambulance and I had 5 high school friends who knew. My family was still all over the religion thing and how being gay was just wrong and it not even being a religion thing. My sister called me while I was waiting in the hospital for my parents and brother to come but I was still balling my eyes out to the nurse on duty about it so my sister found out and told me that I shouldn't act on it because we all have to do our best to be good Muslims. I just told the new friends I had made in university that I was sick in the hospital, not that I had actually put myself there. I think I might be more open with them after exams are over because I can't put that burden on them while we're stressed about exams and school. I just feel like utter trash. I'm 3/5 of the way done exams and gotten marks back for 2 courses already, and my marks have dropped another 10% from first semester on top of the 10% I dropped between high school and first semester. I need an 80% average to keep my scholarship for next year and I'm pulling it way too close. I'm a part of the orientation program for first year students over the summer and in the fall, as a way to try and do some good for new students and put an emphasis on letting people know about the importance of getting help when you need it. There's so many on campus resources, but I just didn't go to them. I went through a 2 week period where I just felt like trash and missed my second appointment with the specialist on campus, and I got fined 160 bucks for it, and they treated me like absolute trash for it when I went to pay. "You shouldn't skip these appointments," "playing hookie doesn't get you anywhere." I had barely made it out of my bed to class on day that week because I had a presentation to do which I physically and very visibly shook through but I guess the TA felt bad for me because she gave my group 95% on it. So here I am trying to pull myself together at the end of the semester trying to spill my feelings on to my Tumblr blog that I've had for 6 years that nobody reads from. I might add some screenshots of what I vented to my friends just to make sure those never get lost either. If you read this (which I genuinely know is nobody) then I'm sorry I put you through that. To my best friends in this world I love you so much. My last final exam is this Friday night and finishes at 10pm. Hoping to go home to at least see my mom because my dad is visiting family overseas. I wanted to drive home to see him before he left but he just facetimed me for 2 minutes asking me how I'm doing socially. Socially. As in am I fucking anyone behind his back. The answer is definitely no. I get hit on by 60 year old me. On Grindr and anyone I match on tinder either doesn't message me or if I message them we just have a short conversation before they just ignore me entirely. I needed to get this out of my system though. Out into the world somehow. Oh well. Guess it's time to see how my life goes from here. April 24th 2017