#not to mention me continuing to mix up romantic and platonic feelings

[callsign-rogueone]

lean on me

Sawyer Henrick + Ridoc Gamlyn Sawyer runs out of painkiller and drags himself, fully clothed, into an ice-cold shower in an attempt to take the edge off. It works, but once he sits down on the tile floor, he can’t get back up to turn the water off. Feeling that his rider is trapped there, freezing cold and dissociating, Sliseag reaches out to Aotrom, who sends Ridoc to the rescue. words: 3.2k 🏷️: trying something new, so be gentle with me pls, written before the release of Onyx Storm, set 2-ish weeks after the end of Iron Flame. nonsexual nudity, brief description of Sawyer’s injury site (Rid changing his bandages) but no blood or anything, mentions of nausea and skipping meals, the word puke is used exactly once, painkiller reliance, negative self-talk — Sawyer’s self esteem issues re: the injury and not bonding in his first year make an appearance, as well as Ridoc's guilt for letting things get this bad. this could be read either as platonic or as a ship fic, if you want. there’s mutual I love you’s in there, but nothing too romantical — and if you aren’t cuddling with your homies on the regular, wyd?

“Sliseag’s boy needs you.”

Ridoc is out his door and down the stairs in seconds, headed to the first-floor room they’d moved Sawyer into after he’d been discharged from the infirmary. The door is unlocked, the room empty, but he can hear water running in the bathroom right across the hall.

“Sawyer?”

No response. 

Then he sees a person sat against the wall under the spray of one of the faucets — unmistakably Sawyer, from their red-brown hair and pale skin. He’s still dressed. He hadn’t drawn the curtain, seemingly just turned the water on and sat down under it.

“Sy?” Ridoc tries again quietly, not wanting to startle him — nothing. He reaches up to turn the water off, and only then does Sawyer seem to notice his presence, looking up from his blank stare at the opposite wall.

His cheeks are wet, hair plastered to his forehead, eyes red and swollen from crying. His entire body is trembling — from pain or from the cold, Ridoc can’t tell. How long has he been sitting here?

Ridoc steps into the shower and kneels beside him. Water instantly soaks into the knees of his pants, but he’s used to the cold, being an ice wielder. Regardless, he isn’t focused on that right now, just on making sure Sawyer is okay.

Maybe okay isn’t the right word. There’s clearly something wrong if he’s in the shower fully clothed, and okay might be too lofty a goal for him these days after losing more than half a leg. 

Sawyer blinks a few times, coming back to reality and seeing the soft expression on Ridoc’s face — not pity, but genuine concern and love.

Sawyer had pushed him away for two weeks, pushed everyone away and insisted he’d be fine on his own, but Ridoc is here with him now. He was willing to climb in with him, to sit across from him in the cold water and guide him back into reality. He knew something was wrong, despite Sawyer’s reassurances that he was fine, and he sought him out in hopes of fixing it. 

“Hey,” Ridoc coaxes softly. “Talk to me.”

Sawyer can’t form words. Tears start to slip down his freckled cheeks, mixing with the cold shower water that’s still dripping from every inch of him. 

Ridoc moves closer, until he’s just inches away — hesitant, not wanting to cause him further pain. 

Sawyer closes the gap for him, letting his head drop against Ridoc’s shoulder as he continues to cry, quiet little sniffles that break Ridoc’s heart right in half.

“I know it hurts, Sy. I’m so sorry.”

He wraps the older boy in a hug, not minding the cold water that soaks from Sawyer’s clothes into his. His heart clenches as he realizes how thin Sawyer has gotten without the daily exercise, and without as much food — the healers had said something about the pain tonic reducing appetite and causing nausea, but the squad had been too relieved that he was still alive to properly focus on the instructions they’d been given. 

Ridoc can’t help but berate himself for letting it get this bad. He should have been more careful. He should have checked in on Sawyer more often, ignored the boy’s insistence that he’d be fine in his own room at Basgiath, and that the rest of the squad shouldn’t let him keep them grounded. 

Second squad had agreed without too much protest, knowing that the fight was far from over, and they needed as many trained riders as they could get.

Still, it shouldn’t have come to this. 

“I’m so sorry,” he repeats, bringing a hand up to smooth down his wet curls. “We should have been there for you earlier.”

Sawyer doesn’t respond, but his breathing has steadied, the sniffling quieted. He’s still shivering, leaning into Ridoc for warmth — he must have been sitting here for some time if he’s this cold. 

“Let’s get you dried off,” Ridoc coaxes. 

Sawyer nods against his shoulder, taking a breath to brace himself for the discomfort of standing again. 

Ridoc rises to his knees, then his feet, hooking his arms under Sawyer’s to help him up. Sawyer pushes up off the floor, a soft cry parting his lips as the movement sends a needle of pain up his spine.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Ridoc soothes, the only thing he can think to say at the moment. “Hold on to me, it’ll take the pressure off.”

Sawyer shifts his weight, making the five steps to the small bench more bearable. 

Ridoc finds a clean-enough towel on the counter, extending it to Sawyer. “Dry your hair if you can. I’m gonna find you some clean clothes, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Sawyer makes the slightest nod of understanding, back to his slow-blinking silence. 

Time has been reduced to the slow drip of water down his face. He doesn’t know how late it is, or how long he had sat in the shower. It’s dark out, but it’s January — it gets dark after four. 

Ridoc is back quickly. Sawyer still hasn’t dried his hair, so he takes the towel back from him, working it through the wet red curls gently. His hair has gotten long enough to cover the tops of his ears. Ridoc would offer to do something about it later, but he’s not sure Sawyer would trust him with the task. Rhi, maybe. 

“Arms up,” Ridoc coaxes.

Sawyer complies, allowing Ridoc to peel the soaked tunic off. It’s unceremoniously dropped to the floor with a quiet splat, replaced with a soft towel that Ridoc wraps around his shoulders.

“Alright. How do you want to do the pants?” Ridoc asks gently. “We’ve seen each other naked before, so I don’t care either way, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable — and I don’t want this to hurt.”

“It’s going to hurt no matter what,” Sawyer says distantly, the first words he’s spoken since Ridoc found him. His voice is a raw whisper, hoarse from disuse. “I can take them off myself if I have something to lean on. Putting new ones on is always harder.”

“Okay. Whenever you’re ready,” Ridoc offers quietly, holding out two hands. 

Sawyer wavers a bit as he stands, holding onto Ridoc’s right forearm with one hand as he finds his balance, then slowly starts pulling down one side of the waistband, then the other, until they drop to the floor, a wet heap of fabric around his remaining foot. 

Ridoc doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to that sight, if it’ll ever stop feeling like a punch to the gut.

It’s not about you, he reminds himself. However uncomfortable and upset you are about this, Sawyer is probably ten times as much — it’s his body, his life that’s changed forever. 

Ridoc guides him back down onto the bench, kicking the soaked shorts aside, next to the shirt, and looks at Sawyer, trying to read the expression on his face. 

“Do you want a break, or…”

He shakes his head. “Pass me the shirt?”

Ridoc hands him the dry t-shirt he’d found in Sawyer’s room, one of the few clean garments he had left. He doesn’t ask if Sawyer wants help with this part — he gets the feeling that this is probably deeply embarrassing for him, and that he wants to do as much as he can on his own.

Sawyer tugs it over his head, easily putting his arms through the sleeves, and stepping through one leg of the boxers, pulling them up to his knee.

Ridoc extends an arm again, a silent indicator that he’s ready when Sawyer is. 

Sawyer takes another breath, gritting his teeth as he stands, but he seems more steady this time — putting more of his weight on Ridoc, trusting the other boy to hold him up as he dresses himself. 

Back down again. Sawyer takes a second to catch his breath, willing himself not to cry again.

“Shorts too, or…”

Sawyer shakes his head no. He doesn’t want to go through the up-and-down again, and he just wants to sleep. That’s all he’s really done this week, because sleep is the only place he’s comfortable — if you don’t count the nightmares, that is. 

“Okay. Can I look at the bandage?”

Sawyer nods, exhausted but knowing that the wrapping needs to be replaced; it’s soaked, the cotton gauze swollen with water. He definitely wasn’t supposed to bathe with it on, but he wasn’t really in his right mind when he’d dragged himself into the shower, just desperate for any sort of relief from the bone-deep ache and the shooting pains that keep coming whenever he moves.

Ridoc unwraps the dressing gently, keeping one hand on Sawyer’s other leg in an attempt at comfort, and bracing himself for the worst, but trying to maintain a neutral expression on his face. 

It’s not as bad as he’d thought. It doesn’t look infected, and the stitches are still holding the skin together in two intersecting, slightly-wavy lines. They’re probably ready to be removed — he’ll ask about that tomorrow morning, when he takes Sawyer to see the healers.

Ridoc tosses the wet bandages into the trash, reaching under the sink for the basic first aid kit that’s kept in every bathroom in the dorms. There’s enough gauze in there to make a passable re-creation of the neat dressing that had been on it before. It’ll only have to last the night, anyway; the healers will put on a new one in the morning. 

“Is that too tight?” Ridoc asks, looking up at him.

Sawyer shakes his head no, eyes still closed. He’s so tired, even after a day of doing hardly anything.

Ridoc stands, gathering the wet clothes and wringing them out over the sink. He’ll wash them tomorrow — Sawyer is running out of clean clothes, having been pretty much bedbound for the last two and a half weeks and unable to do his own laundry.

“You ready to get back in bed?” — A nod. — “Do you want your crutches, or do you want to lean on me?”

“You,” Sawyer says softly, blinking up at Ridoc. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open.

Ridoc pushes down the little swell of pride at Sawyer’s choice, draping the boy’s arm across his shoulders and hooking an arm around his waist to hoist him up. He lets Sawyer set the pace for the twenty-foot walk back to his new room, making sure that he’s well-supported. 

Thankfully, Sawyer had never warded his new room, so the door swings open easily, and Ridoc carefully deposits him on the edge of his bed, tossing the still-damp clothes in his laundry basket. 

Looking at the clock on his desk through bleary eyes, Sawyer can see that it’s sometime between ten and eleven. Ten thirty, maybe. A reasonable enough hour to go to sleep.

Ridoc should be going to bed soon, if he wants to get a decent amount of sleep before the standard six a.m. wakeup required of the cadets that hadn’t been permanently injured in the battle — everyone but Sawyer. 

He’s tired of being the exception. He should be out there training with them, not spending his days sleeping in an uncomfortable first-year bed.

Being back on the first floor for the third year in a row has broken him. 

Being in this room all day reminds him of his first first year, when he was one of the only cadets who hadn’t been chosen at Threshing, and thus couldn’t attend most of the classes that everyone else did — leaving him to spend the bigger half of six months entirely alone.

Every hour within these walls is another reminder of his failure. Death by a thousand cuts, or whatever they say. 

“Talk to me,” Ridoc says softly. “Tell me what I can do to help you.”

“I don’t know,” he whispers, his voice cracking. If Ridoc doesn’t leave soon, if he doesn’t stop looking at him like that, all soft and concerned, Sawyer is going to cry again. The first time was humiliating enough.

Ridoc keeps pushing, deciding yes-or-no questions might be less overwhelming. “Do you want to eat something?”

Sawyer shakes his head no quickly — he definitely doesn’t want food. Even the idea of eating is enough to turn his stomach. At least Ridoc hadn’t seen him puke. 

“Okay. You should probably get some sleep, then.”

Sleep is good. Sleep will numb the pain for a while, and he’s so tired… probably because he’s hardly eaten since he moved out of the infirmary and the healers stopped forcing him to choke down three meals a day. 

That had been torture. 

Sawyer nods, starting to shuffle back from his seat on the edge of the bed. The bed is unmade, as it has been for the last week and a half, so he’s able to scoot under the duvet easily, pulling it up over himself with minimal discomfort.

Ridoc helps him get settled, draping him with an extra blanket, because Sawyer’s skin is still cold to the touch. He quickly pulls his eyes away from the space where Sawyer’s other leg should be, that’s now just flat, only blankets laid over the mattress.

“If there’s anything you need, anything at all, have Sli tell Aotrom, okay?”

Sawyer nods again, the soft cotton of his pillowcase making a whispering sound under his cheek.

Ridoc straightens the books on Sawyer's desk, picking up a few dirty clothing items that Sawyer had dropped — damn tremors caused by that extra-strength pain tonic that he’d been using around the clock — and hadn’t been able to bend down to reach, or even to kick toward the laundry basket. So on the floor they’ve remained, all week — until now.

Sawyer feels a spike of cold move through his chest, his pulse jumping at the thought of Ridoc leaving, telling him goodnight and disappearing for another two weeks.

“Rid?” he asks in a small voice.

The other boy perks up at the sound of his friend speaking. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to sleep over?”

The question hangs in the air for a moment before Sawyer starts to take it back. “Obviously you don’t have to. I just thought it would be nice. The way it used to be, in Aretia.”

If Ridoc catches the panic in Sawyer’s voice, he doesn’t bring it up. “I thought you’d never admit it,” he says with a slow smile that Sawyer can hear, even with his eyes closed. “You miss me.”

It’s unclear if Sawyer can hear the thick guilt covered by Ridoc’s teasing. 

Of course he misses you, Ridoc thinks. You haven’t spoken to him in a week. He needed you, but he didn’t ask for help because he didn’t think you’d care. 

You’re a shitty friend.

“Should I steal some of Imogen’s black nail polish, or do you want to make popcorn and talk about cute boys?”

“Get the fuck out,” Sawyer snorts, and then regrets it immediately — What if Ridoc can’t tell that he’s joking? 

“Alright. GTFO-ing.”

Ridoc closes the door behind him quietly.

Sawyer squeezes his eyes shut, because he knows that if he opens them, the walls will start to press in on him. This room is the same size as the one he’d had in his parents’ home in Luceras, if not bigger, but after spending two weeks in it pretty much non-stop, it feels like a birdcage or a fish tank that he’d been shoved into.

That’s why he’d never warded the door. He already feels trapped here. If he becomes too weak to channel, he’d be trapped for real.

He hasn’t tried to use his signet, or any of the basic magic, since the battle. It’s unclear if he can, but Sli comes and goes in his mind, and that little red string had remained tied to his rib all through the surgery and his delirium afterward, never once fading or faltering, so he should still have access to it, but he might be too weak to do anything significant with it.

When he gets some of his energy back, he’ll try again. Maybe he can do something useful with it. They can park him in a chair and have him make weapons, more of the runed daggers. That way he’d be helping, instead of dragging everyone down. 

That’s exactly what he’d tried not to do, and look where it had landed him. 

Ridoc opens the door again after what’s probably fifteen minutes. He’s pajama-clad, his hair damp from the shower, with a pillow tucked under one arm and his duvet knotted around his shoulders like a cape.

“You came back,” Sawyer murmurs. He’s already half-asleep, his eyes closed and cheek smushed into his pillow. 

“Of course I did. It’s not every day that your adult male best friend asks you for a sleepover.”

Ridoc scoots the desk chair aside, making space for himself to lay down on the small rug there, untying the duvet-cape. 

Sawyer scoots himself over toward the other side of the bed, gritting his teeth. “The floor will fuck up your back. Get up here.”

“If you insist,” Ridoc replies with a grin. 

Sawyer would roll his eyes if it wasn’t such an effort to keep them open, about to jokingly retract his offer — only to wince at the feeling of the mattress shifting underneath him. 

Ridoc apologizes his way under the covers, trying not to jostle him too much. “I’d offer to rock-paper-scissors over who gets to be the little spoon, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

That gets a lazy laugh out of him, finally. 

Ridoc doesn’t think he’s seen Sawyer smile or laugh since before they left Aretia. They’d been in Battle Brief, and Ridoc had made a gods-awful pun around one of Brennan’s serious statements. It had nearly gotten the both of them kicked out of the auditorium from how hard they’d been laughing.

“Thank you for finding me,” Sawyer murmurs. “Probably would have died of hypothermia or something if you hadn’t.”

His hair is nearly dry now, the almost-ginger strands curling up in odd places. Ridoc reaches over to smooth a few of them down, but they spring back up after a few seconds. He keeps doing it anyway. 

“You can thank Sli for that, really. He told Aotrom to tell me that you needed help. He loves you, y’know. And he knows that none of this was your fault.” 

There’s a soft pause. “We all know that you’d be out there with us if you could. It isn’t the same without you, but until you’re healed and you can make yourself a super badass custom prosthetic and fly with us again, we’ll look out for each other. And I’ll help you with whatever you need — I’m really sorry for dropping the ball on that. I was a shitty friend, and there’s no excuse for it, really, but I’ll try my best to make it up to you.”

It’s a lot to process, and Sawyer is too tired to respond to all of it, but he’s able to sum it up in two mumbled words. “Love you.”

Ridoc smiles, moving his hand away from Sawyer’s hair. “I love you too, dude. Get some sleep.”

Later that night, when Sawyer rolls over and tucks himself into Ridoc’s arms, he doesn’t feel cold anymore, and the pain has dulled.

He decides that he wants pancakes for breakfast.

[defectivevillain]

vigilant veneration

pairing: Padmé Amidala/Reader (can be platonic or romantic)

summary: After an assassination attempt on Senator Padmé Amidala, you're tasked with watching over her. One late night, you accidentally fall asleep outside her door—and you wake to find her staring down at you.

reader's pronouns are unspecified; race and gender are ambiguous; no physical descriptors are used.

word count: 1k | ao3 version

warnings: mentions of fatigue/exhaustion and a canonical assassination attempt

At first, you think you’re imagining someone calling your name. Then, there’s a light shove to your shoulder and you’re roused from sleep. You blink blearily, opening your eyes to find Padmé looking down at you. It begins to come back to you in that moment: you had watched over Padmé the previous night; you wanted a brief moment’s respite and had moved to sit on the ground; now, you’re still on the ground, but there’s sunlight peeking through the sheer curtains down the hall. You immediately push yourself to your feet—despite Padmé’s hand on your shoulder, reassuring you that you haven’t made a misstep—and regard her with a somewhat terrified expression. 

You were assigned to watch over Padmé Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo and newly-declared Senator, after an assassination attempt very nearly took her life. You’ve been a Padawan for a few years now, and you hoped that, with the successful completion of this task, you’d be even closer to becoming a true Jedi. Moreover, selfishly speaking, you wanted to get to know Padmé better. You had seen her in passing and spoken to her a few times with Obi-Wan, but you never got the chance to truly interact with her. You’ve quickly grown to care for her—in a manner that far surpasses the professional boundaries mandated by your assignment and your status as a Jedi-in-training.

Now, as you look at the Senator—who is staring at you with a mix of perplexity and something close to concern—you realize you’ve made a terrible mistake. “Your Highness, please forgive me-” You’re quick to stammer, beginning to grow quite nervous under her watchful gaze. Despite the fact that Amidala gave up her throne after her second term, it only feels right to address her as the Queen. 

“It’s alright,” she responds, eloquent as always. You’re too frazzled and embarrassed to register that she’s not angry with you, so you continue speaking. 

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep- It was only for a few moments, I promise.” You try to justify. Admittedly, your heart is racing out of your chest as you’re faced with Padmé’s full attention. Yet, you can’t quite dwell on that in the face of the harrowing realization that you left the Senator entirely unguarded in her room. An assassin could’ve snuck into her room, broken the window, and killed her with a swift shot from a blaster. The thought sickens you. 

“It’s alright,” Padmé repeats thoroughly, breaking you away from your panicked thoughts. She is calm and composed, which only makes you feel worse. Somehow, she is not acknowledging the severity of your blunder. “You can’t be expected to stay awake all night to watch over me.” 

“But that’s my job,” you feel the need to remind her. Why isn’t she furious with you? She should be—her anger would be completely justified. “That’s what I’m here for, and I failed.” You realize aloud. 

“You didn’t fail,” Padmé argues, her eyebrows furrowed. Her lips are pressed in a thin line now. 

“I did,” you insist. “What if something had happened to you? I’d never forgive myself-” Your voice cracks slightly at the end of that statement and you hope she doesn’t notice. The prospect of being complicit in her assassination is… unacceptable.

“That’s quite enough,” Padmé interjects, before you can spiral any longer. The commanding tone in her voice makes you promptly shut your mouth. She extends a hand towards you, as if to place a hand on your shoulder, before evidently abandoning the gesture. “Dwelling on the past is a pointless endeavor. Besides, I can protect myself.” She raises an eyebrow after that, as if daring you to argue. 

“I didn’t mean to imply otherwise,” you’re quick to say, shaking your head in disbelief at your own foolishness. You’re just tripping over your own words at this point, and with each statement, you’re incriminating yourself even more. You take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of your nose. Admittedly, you didn’t get nearly enough rest—but you’d never burden Padmé with the details. Besides, this is what you signed up for. So what if you haven’t slept in three days? The Queen’s safety is far more important. 

“Enough of this,” Padmé says, resolve written in her posture. There’s concern glittering in her eyes, but you dismiss it as a figment of your imagination. Surely Padmé isn’t genuinely worried for you. She simply wants her bodyguard—that’s really all you are, at this point—to be well enough to protect her. “You look positively exhausted.” She adds. The Senator is right. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the bathroom mirror the prior night and nearly recoiled at your reflection, which sported extremely dark under-eye circles. You can’t imagine those went away overnight. “You need to rest.” Padmé maintains. 

“No, it’s fine-” You try to say, only for her to cut you off. 

“As your Queen, I’m ordering you to rest.” You blink at her for a few moments, and it takes several moments for you to convince yourself that you heard her correctly. At your surprised expression, she softens. “Come on.” Padmé motions for you to follow after her. After a moment’s contemplation, you do so. She’s a member of the Galactic Senate and the former Queen of Naboo, after all. You’re a mere Padawan. Who are you to refuse? 

When the two of you make it to your bedroom, you move to sit on your bed. You expect Padmé to leave you with a farewell, but after a few moments, you’re forced to watch in thinly-veiled confusion as she pulls up a chair and sits down. Under her attentive gaze, you have no choice but to get under the covers and lie back against your pillow. “Sleep,” she says, not unkindly. “I’ll watch over you.” 

That’s not necessary, you want to say. You don’t trust yourself to speak, though. Besides, you’re already struggling to keep your eyes open. You recline on the bed and stare up at the ceiling, quickly losing the fight to your exhaustion. The last sensation you register before falling asleep is a hand grasping yours with delicate care.

thanks for reading! <3

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[whiskersz]

HELLOO you Definitely don't know me ;) ...but I'll still wish you luck for all the matchups <3

My name's Alexander, I go by they/them and at times he/him, I'm gay and on the ace spectrum!

I'm a pretty chill person that oscillates between too much energy and too little. I rely heavily on humor in most circumstances and I've been told I'm great at it (loads of dirty jokes, puns and absurd humor). I'm also good at improvising things as a theater and musical enjoyer. I'm a blend of emo, goth and punk, and enjoy the culture greatly. I'm very passionate about my interests, though not much confident in sharing them. I struggle with emotions a shit ton but I'm working on it!

A little (orange) birdie told me I could have both matchups, soooo. ;) I'd obviously prefer a male romantic matchup but I'm most open to either for platonic!

I love creating, mostly drawing and writing but it includes animating or sculpting and even playing piano/elec. guitar. I love chess and logic games/puzzles, as well as video games of all kinds (fantasy usually!). I also enjoy darker topics, since I'm quite fascinated by the human nature.

I love to hang out with friends, bake, watch shows, talk, etc, quality time is a big love language to me. I also like physical contact, as long as we're close!

I dislike physical activity, conflict of any kind, and loud noises/bright lights for too long. Another no are outright gore or some kind of horror (I have paranoia which can lead to a lot of anxiety.)

I don't exactly have an ideal type but they must be open-minded, ideally make me feel like they're interested in whatever I have to say, be willing to hang out and be honest!

Thank you for doing this, sending lots of love from the coolest bat in your area ;)

Hmm I wonder who this could be... ;3 As I was reading this I kept nodding to myself...like yes, very true, definitely! And it also reminded me of how intriguing of a person you are – not that I don’t think that all the time, of course.

Anyhow, enough of my silliness! Let’s move our focus on somebody else’s silliness, as I romantically match you with...

Lucifer!

Right off the bat I should mention that you and Lucifer share an interest which is creating; both of you spend the majority of your days bringing life to your little creations, so imagine how fun it would be to work together and show each other the fruits of your work at the end of each day! He is definitely enchanted by how many skills you possess, but his favorite thing is when you finish writing a story and you ask him to read it. He does so out loud, imitating the voices of each character and making you laugh by doing so. As he continues reading though, his tone shifts into a more serious one, a sincere smile remaining on his face. He doesn’t want you to think that he doesn’t take your work seriously, plus he’s genuinely fascinated by how easily you can bring to life the characters in your stories.

You love baking and he loves sweets, I couldn’t think of a better combo! Many a times you drag him into the kitchen and he follows diligently, ready to help and possibly make a bit of a mess as he’s not the most well versed in these kinds of activities. But! He definitely tries for you, passing you the ingredients as you carefully try to follow every step of the recipe correctly. He’s also a bit of a chatter box himself, so rest assured you will have a lot to talk about as you break eggs and mix the ingredients! He sometimes brings up how he misses doing these things with Charlie as well, and you kindly remind him that he’s free to invite her over to do this any time as you’ve grown quite fond of her as a friend.

Returning on the topic of Lucifer being quite talkative, he really appreciates how much your interests vary as this allows you two to have conversations about anything and everything. While I feel like some things he wouldn’t be into himself, such as video games, there’s nothing that he loves more than to listen to you excitedly talk about an interest that he’s not really familiar with, because this just means that there’s more things to learn directly from you. You of course have to do your part in listening to him talk about whatever he might be into but you’re not, though!

Lucifer adores the fact that you can play the piano and electric guitar, as he’s able to play some instruments himself! It’s not rare for you two to play together, making up songs between piano keys being pressed and bows being drawn across the strings of his fiddle. The little concerts last for hours, and they always end with you sharing a tired but satisfied kiss with each other.

If there’s something that Lucifer understands about you it’s your struggle with emotions; his own are a mess, especially seeing that he struggled with isolation and depression after he and Lilith separated, but also because his humour is generally a little unpredictable. After meeting you though he’s able to pace himself slightly as you inevitably bring joy into his life, and so he manages to be helpful in your times of need. At first he might push you a little to still spend time together even though you’re claiming you need space, but once he’s got you figured out he’s going to give you all the space that you need and let you come back to him at the end of the day, offering you a warm embrace by wrapping you up protectively with his wings. And then, with a little pun here and a light joke there, he’s going to get a smile out of you again.

Speaking of hugs, he absolutely adores them. Getting to be lazy with you and cuddling is one of his favorite activities,  as it also means not having to look after the obnoxious residents of Hell for a while. Rest assured he’s going to ask for five more minutes of cuddling with you every single morning, and if you don’t give them to him he’s definitely going to get pouty.

All things considered, Lucifer is glad he’s not alone anymore, instead he found great company in you and he appreciates all the love that you decide to show him in your unique ways. He’s of course more than willing to shower you in affection, and though he might go a little overboard sometimes, being a bit dramatic and all, you know he means well and you don’t get actually mad at him.

Platonic matchup

Now that you’ve gotten your lover, let’s move on to your platonic matchup!

Alastor!

First of all this came as a surprise to me as well, as Lucifer and Alastor don’t seem to get along very well, but allow me to demonstrate why you would get along with both!

Alastor values good manners, cordiality and intelligence a lot in others, which you all possess, in my opinion. He’s fascinated by your mannerisms just as much as you are by his, and admires the fact that you seem to have many skills. Some of them he might even take part in himself, such as playing chess and delving into darker topics. This would lead you to spending quite some time together, discussing such topics over a chess board.

The friendship between you and Alastor could be seen as unusual by most other people, but in reality it’s based on a very deep trust. You both trust each other to not cross boundaries; you don’t like physical touch from somebody who isn’t close? He’s going to respect that, he’s actually just the same. He’s not the biggest fan of sexual remarks? Sure, you’re going to be relying on other jokes, primarily puns as he seems to be a big enjoyer of those.

You and Alastor enjoy the occasional planned hang out with each other, usually opting for recitals and musicals as you both enjoy those a lot. You respect each other’s wish to quietly follow the play but at the end of it you’re very eager to have an open discussion about it.

Alastor, as the good friend that he is, also tries his best to take care of any kind of conflict that may arise while you’re together for you. Will you have to hold him back from doing anything too crazy? Sure, most of the time a little scare is enough...

He’s also pretty closed off with his own emotions, so a positive thing is that he’s never going to push you to talk about things, even in general. He does worry though, you’re his dear friend, and his way of showing it is by tolerating more than he would usually. May that be a short hug or whatever you might need from him to feel better, he’s willing to make an effort to provide it to you.

Hi! I hope you enjoyed; I made the platonic matchup a little bit shorter, I hope that’s alright, if not I can give you some more headcanons...I don’t mind at all! Tell me what you think, love you <3

[part-time-zombie]

Waiting Out The Storm

pairings: roceit (could be romantic or platonic)

summary: After a rather nasty storm ends up ruining both Roman and Janus' plans, the pair find themselves coming together and putting their differences aside as they cope with the weather.

tags/warnings: hurt/comfort, both sides refuse to talk about their feelings, Virgil's a bit of a jerk for a moment, no other sides are there

word count: 3733

A/N: This fic was the result of me getting inspired by the most recent incorrect quotes video, writing two very similar fics, and putting them together because they fit so well in my head. I had a lot of fun writing this, so I hope it's still good.

Janus should have known this would happen. He had only meant to find some proper peace and quiet by retreating outside to read his book in peace, it’s not like he was asking for much. Of course it was going to rain today. Logan had actually mentioned that to him before he headed out, now that he thought about it. He hadn’t bothered to listen to him at the time, and now he wishes he did. The rain was pelting fiercely around him, and the flimsy awning he was hiding under hardly provided any cover against the seemingly unending storm.

He tried to head back inside the second he felt the first raindrop, only to find the door stubbornly locked and barring him from refuge. No one seemed to hear or acknowledge that he was still outside, no matter how loudly he knocked at the door. They all must be busy in their own rooms, unless they were just ignoring him. Janus didn’t know, but at a guess it may be a mix of both. Patton and Logan have yet to fully hate him, so the only reason they would abandon him to the weather is that they simply didn’t realize he was still outside. Remus was probably doing his own thing as well, because even he wouldn’t subject Janus to this indignity too much. Maybe for a little, but not for this long. Virgil, on the other hand, likely wouldn’t care if Janus were locked out all night.

He had seen him, of course. Virgil just happened to descend the stairs shortly after Janus had knocked, presumably to investigate the ruckus he was making. Looking through the glass, Virgil saw him outside huddled close to the window in a desperate attempt to stay dry as the storm continued to rage around him. Janus gave him the most pitifully helpless look possible, hoping he could appeal to some speck of sympathy in Virgil’s heart. It almost seemed to work for a moment, his face softening in realization as he saw him.

Then he closed the blinds and left him stranded outside.

At any other time, Janus would have found that hilarious. It’s the kind of thing he would do himself, and if he weren’t currently on the receiving end of it he’d be laughing. Right now though, he could only shake in the rain, unsure if it was from the cold or anger.

Janus had hoped that Virgil was willing to move on after all this time. Sure, there had been a falling apart between them years ago, but Janus didn’t hold it against him. Not anymore, at least. He had grown past what had happened, but it looks like Virgil hasn’t forgiven him yet.

He’s really going to let him have it when he gets back inside.

It’s not like they can lock him out forever, right? Surely they wouldn’t do that. Patton likes him at least, and Logan respects him enough. All he has to do is wait until they remember he’s out here and then they’ll let him in, a thousand apologies spilling from their lips.

Janus dismissed the thought with a willful shake of the head. Who was he kidding? Logan didn’t really care about him, and Patton probably forgot about him entirely. The only one who knows he’s out here is Virgil, and it was clear he wasn’t letting him in anytime soon. He thought about finding a way to break in somehow, but he knew he wouldn’t actually do it. They need him to be good before they’ll accept him, and good guys don’t pick locks or use dirty tricks to get what they want, even if it’s just to seek shelter from a storm.

He was already on thin ice after everything else he did, he can’t make it worse now.

Roman actually didn’t mind the rain all that much. Sure, it came with the risk of ruining his outfit, but it was usually worth it.

Besides, they were bound to let him in anytime now. He just has to wait a little longer…

He had merely gone out for a quiet stroll in the park, a chance to clear his head and be by himself for a moment, when he heard the distant clap of thunder rapidly approaching. Luckily, Logan had warned him of the storm and he brought an umbrella just in case. At first it simply made for a nice prop, a bright red to compliment his sash as he idly carried it over his shoulder as he walked. With the rain now cascading all around him, he’s rather glad he thought to take it with him.

The weather hardly hindered his time outside, if anything it only improved it. With the rain came a lovely quietness and solitude he didn’t realize he needed, and as he reached out a hand from under his umbrella to feel the rainfall, he found it to be very grounding and calming. It also gave him the opportunity to quote musicals and romantic movies, though it would be nice to sing a proper duet with a partner some day.

That thought had him somberly slow his steps as he headed back to the apartment. He knew no one would want to do that with him. Logan and Virgil would only roll their eyes in quiet criticism, and as enthusiastic as Patton would be, he wouldn’t take it seriously and would probably only make it into something foolish. At least Roman could sing a few songs by himself on the walk back.

By the time he had returned from his walk, the rain had gone from a light shower to a full-on storm, and he was now more than eager to head back inside.

He almost didn’t even see Janus huddled up by the door, shaking and soaking wet.

Janus looked up and saw him, expression shifting from desolated to defensive. He looked away quickly, wrapping his arms even tighter around himself as he tried his best to look unbothered by the rain, and failing spectacularly.

“What are you doing out here?” Roman couldn’t help but ask.

“Enjoying myself, obviously,” Janus replied with a sarcastic sneer. “I just love being subjected to the elements for hours on end, don’t you?”

Roman rolled his eyes as he walked to the door. If Janus was just going to start another petty squabble again, he’d rather get somewhere dry before the fight could start.

The door didn’t budge when he tried to open it.

“It’s locked, idiot,” Janus muttered. “It’s not like I’d still be out here if I had a choice.”

Roman bit his tongue before he said anything too hurtful. Now was not the time. He knocked loudly on the door, to no response.

“Don’t you think I’d have tried that already? They’re not opening the door; they either don’t hear or don’t care.” Janus sighed, absently kicking at a puddle as he spoke. “I doubt they even know it’s you knocking, they’re probably too focused on letting me suffer to remember you’re stuck out here too.”

Roman only huffed in response, grabbing his phone to call someone only to remember all too belatedly that it had died halfway through his walk. Great. Locked out of the house during a storm with Janus is exactly how he wanted today to turn out.

“I don’t suppose you have your phone on hand, do you?” he asked with a sigh.

Janus shook his head in defeat. “Left it in the house by mistake. I doubt anyone would have even answered if I called them, though. They likely have my number blocked.”

“Why the hell would they lock the door on us?”

Janus only shrugged for a moment, leaning against the wall as the rain continued to pool around his feet. “Who’s to say? Maybe they forgot we’re out here, maybe they thought you had come back by now and just wanted to keep me from getting inside, maybe they knew we were both outside and thought it would be funny.”

Roman didn’t respond to that, instead turning and pounding on the door again, though he knew by now that it wouldn’t work.

“If they didn’t know I was out here, they might have answered by now,” Janus commented. “I think they’re too busy ignoring me to remember you.”

Roman started getting defensive. What did Janus know anyway? “They wouldn’t do that.”

Janus arched an eyebrow. “Oh? And you’re so sure?”

“Of course, we may all joke around but we’d never be so wicked as you’re suggesting.”

Janus turned to face him head on, his expression hardened and full of resentment.

“Virgil closed the blinds on me,” he started, voice flat and deadpan. “He looked right at me and left me out here, knowing full well how bad this storm is.” He gave Roman a humorless grin, one that was sharpened with grim understanding. “Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing. Tell me how you wouldn’t even think of doing that to me.”

Roman swallowed uncomfortably. He wanted to say that he wouldn’t, but in truth, he probably would. He might have even locked the door on Janus, if it were him.

That’s hardly heroic of him, but it’s the truth. It’s the horrible, horrible truth.

Janus seemed to take his silence as answer enough, as he hummed knowingly before turning away and watching the storm instead.

Roman looked at him, feeling the weight of what he had said settling over him. Sure, he was still angry about what had happened between them, and that pain may never fully heal, but do either of them deserve that? How much longer will they continue to let each other suffer, all because they’re both too proud to do anything else?

The water was now pooling at Roman’s feet, but he hardly paid it any mind. This always happens, doesn’t it? Roman and Janus fight and no one else does anything about it. It’s almost become as predictable as Remus making a mess or Patton messing up.

He gasped as the thought entered his mind. How could he have forgotten? Roman moved away from the door and started blindly feeling around in the rocks by the back porch with his free hand, much to Janus’ confusion.

“What is it that you’re doing now?” he asked, exasperation evident in his tone.

“Usually it’s Patton who gets locked out of the house,” Roman explained as he continued his search. “And it happened enough times for Logan to get fed up and make a spare key. Virgil insisted we hide it to be safe, and it should be right about…” he trailed off, finally locating the large rock it was under. “Here!”

Roman lifted the key with a victorious flourish, hurriedly unlocking the door. Janus all but raced inside and made a beeline for his room, with Roman hanging up his umbrella close behind.

He, unlike Janus, froze in place immediately when he realized just how dark the apartment was. All he could focus on was the suffocating darkness that had filled every corner of the room and flooded his mind with panic. The whole apartment was vacant and void of light, casting eerie shadows and creating frightening shapes in their wake.

The power was out.

It was no secret that Roman disliked the dark, though he tried to downplay just how badly he was frightened of it. It obscured and obstructed his sight, leaving the surroundings open to his overactive imagination (which always ran the risk of manifesting) and left him feeling far too vulnerable and exposed for his liking. He felt simultaneously cut off from the world and surrounded by danger, and despite the faint flickering of a few candles that had been lit to compensate for the darkness, Roman could only think to search of light and safety.

Janus had gone upstairs, and the other sides must be up there, too. Even if he can’t find light he can at least make sure he’s not alone with the shadows. He hurried upstairs in a frantic search for sanctuary, pausing to recollect himself after finding the hallway to be even darker than the living room. Roman tried to gather his breath and cleared his head before finally spotting a sliver of warm, welcoming light peeking out from behind one of the bedroom doors.

Safety at last.

Eager to escape the darkness that surrounded him, he hurriedly tried to open the door, knocking loudly when he found it locked.

Janus finally opened the door, a warm glow from his room seeping out behind him. Despite his time spent left out in the rain, he was surprisingly dry.

“Are you trying to break my door down?” he hissed. “Not to be rude, but I’ve had enough socializing for today, so if you don’t mind I’d like to be left alone now.”

Janus started to close the door on him, and Roman felt his heart lurch as he realized he would be deprived of that safe, soothing light in Janus’ room. Panicked and desperate, Roman reached out a hand and caught the door before it could close, trying his best to force it back open.

“Are you serious?” Janus exclaimed, still blocking Roman from entering his room. “I told you to go. You’ve been more than willing to avoid me before, right?”

“Please,” Roman ignored the shake in his voice. “The power’s out and it’s dark everywhere else.”

“So?”

“So I can’t stand it. I just want some light, that’s all. I don’t like being in the dark. Please, Janus.”

On any other day, Roman would die from embarrassment at the thought of him begging Janus for help. Especially when the help involves admitting to his own weaknesses and fears. Right now, though, all he can focus on is how well-lit Janus’ room is, and how badly he wants to feel safe.

Janus stared silently back at him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“You’re scared of the dark, aren’t you?” he finally asked, an unpleasant mixture of condescension and intrigue in his voice.

Roman nodded, an inkling of shame now joining with his still present fear. Of course Janus would mock him for this. What is he thinking, going to Janus for help? It’s not like they’ve buried the hatchet in the storm outside or anything. Janus still hates him, and going to him for help is still a terrible idea. He must have lost his mind to think anything good would come of this.

“Please,” he whispered.

Janus gave him another look before letting out a deep sigh and stepping back, granting Roman access to his room.

“Normally I’d say no, but since you got me out of the storm I’ll oblige this one time,” he said with a groan. “Besides, I don’t like owing people.”

Roman thanked him before quickly heading inside, already feeling himself calm down now that he was out of the dark. Janus’ room was surprisingly decent, with ornate furnishings and regal gold decorations that stood out nicely against the black accents. On the wall to his right was a large, lit fireplace, the source of the reassuring light that lured Roman in here.

Janus sat down on a plush cushion close to the fireplace, picking up the book he must have been reading when Roman interrupted him.

“I wanted to enjoy some much-needed peace and quiet today, and I still intend on doing so, so while you’re here I want you to keep your hands and opinions to yourself, alright?” Janus asked him, the stern tone in his voice leaving no room for debate.

Roman nodded.

“Good, now make yourself comfortable and I’ll do the same.”

With little else to say or do, Roman obediently grabbed a cushion of his own and seated himself on the other side of the fireplace, close enough to be eased by its light while maintaining a respectful distance from Janus.

He didn’t have anything with him to occupy his time, so he instead looked around the room as his mind wandered, taking in the intricate and presumably expensive décor Janus filled his room with. Everything was organized and majestic, and despite Roman preferring lighter and more colorful shades, the lavish accents and atmospheric layout of Janus’ room were surprisingly appealing to his own personal tastes, save for the excessive snake-themed memorabilia, that is.

Roman’s gaze eventually wandered back to Janus, who was still focused on his book and seemed to be trying very hard to pretend Roman wasn’t there. The firelight illuminated his features and wrapped him in a warm and not unpleasant glow that, Roman had to admit, made him look more delicate and even approachable in an enigmatic but alluring way.

“You’re staring,” Janus muttered, eyes flicking up to him for a moment before returning to the page. “Is there a problem, or am I just that handsome?”

Roman flushed, looking away for a moment. “What? Oh, I mean, it’s just… I guess I wanted to say thanks. For letting me in your room, that is.”

Janus looked back up at him, eyes shining by the firelight. “… oh.”

“Uh, what are you reading?” Roman continued, now feeling obligated to keep up the conversation.

“Why are you asking?”

“Well, I’m curious. Is it a good book?”

Janus shifted in his seat. “I think so, but why do you care?”

Roman shrugged, not quite sure how to answer. Why does he care?

Janus let out a huff before going back to his book, muttering a quiet “that’s what I thought,” under his breath as he turned the page.

Janus continued reading, shuffling even closer to the fireplace with what sounded like either another sigh or a shiver. Considering the slight tremble in his hands that he couldn’t fully hide, Roman was tempted to think it was the latter.

“Are you alright?”

“Of course I am,” Janus replied with an unsubtle eye roll.

“It’s just, you’re kinda shaking a little bit. Do you not like the dark too?”

Janus stiffened slightly, his grip tightening on the book that he tried to look invested in. “I’m not afraid of the dark, Roman. You’re projecting.”

“Then why are you sitting so close to the fireplace, and why did you light it in the first place?”

Janus sighed before giving Roman a look that suggested he already knew the answer. “Fire isn’t just bright, Roman. Surely you’re clever enough to piece it together.”

Roman ran it over in his head. Janus had shivered just now, but he didn’t look afraid. He definitely didn’t look comfortable, though.

“Are you cold?”

“Congratulations on solving today’s puzzle,” Janus teased, his tone now a mocking version of a game show host for a moment before returning to its usual sardonic state. “Why else did you think I’d have a massive fireplace in my room? It’s good to have a backup heat source, and besides, it does set a rather nice ambiance,” he explained.

Well, it did make sense. He was coldblooded, after all, and even if it’s not freezing right now, a sudden chill can’t be good for him since the weather had taken out the thermostat with the lights. Roman wordlessly summoned a blanket before tossing it over to Janus, only shrugging in a vague response when he looked up at him in confusion.

“I suppose I should thank you,” Janus muttered, not fully looking at him as he wrapped himself up in Roman’s offered blanket.

“If you want. If you do, though, I should probably apologize.”

“Do you want to?”

Roman didn’t know how to answer. Part of him wanted to put this whole mess behind the both of them so they could at least try to get along together, but another part of him was still far too bitter and stubborn to let go so soon. They had both hurt and been hurt, and that pain wasn’t going away any time soon, but he’d be willing to apologize as long as he wasn’t the only one doing it.

“How about we leave it unspoken, then?” Janus offered with a small but sincere smile.

Roman gave him a similar half-smile in return. “That works for me.”

Janus gave him a brief nod in agreement before returning to his spot on the page, now looking noticeably more comfortable and far less displeased.

Roman couldn’t help but smile to himself, partially at having earned some gratitude from Janus, but also at how endearing he looked while bundled up in one of Roman’s blankets. Roman didn’t expect to actually refer to Janus like that, but then again he didn’t think he’d wait out a power outage with him either. This whole situation was surprising, but Roman didn’t really mind.

“You’re staring again.”

Roman felt his face heat up, and most certainly not from the fire. “Do you want me to stop?”

“… Not really,” Janus muttered. Roman only just managed to catch the slight blush on his face.

The two sat in silence after that, but it was a comfortable one with none of the tension from before. The rain could still be heard outside, though it was considerably quieter now. The storm must be passing now, and with luck the power might return within the next few hours.

But on the off chance that it didn’t…

“I wouldn’t mind it,” Janus mumbled, almost like he didn’t want to say it out loud.

Roman leaned forward slightly, straining to hear him better. “What was that?”

Janus held the book higher over his face, as if he were hiding behind it. “I was saying that if, for whatever reason the power is out all night, you’d be allowed to stay over. I wouldn’t mind it.”

“Wait, really?”

“You’re sleeping on the floor, but yes.” Janus lowered the book again, staring at Roman. “Unless of course you’d rather be alone in your own dark room all night.”

“Absolutely not,” Roman replied, a little too hastily. “I mean, um, I’m not against staying over, as long as you’re fine with it. Thanks, I guess, for offering.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Janus gave him another subtle smile that Roman found himself returning, and he realized he wouldn’t mind it if the lights didn’t come back on right away. Spending a dark and stormy night like this with Janus might not be the worst thing in the world.

taglist:

@lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @britt-ish123 @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @holdnarrytight @new-zee-land @yuckypuppie @can-i-take-a-stab @keitaisghost

[janesociety]

when the party’s over

james potter x fem!reader

type: fluff

word count: 1.1k

summary: james makes sure you’re alright after a night of partying. vaguely based off of the scene where kat dances on a table in 10 things i hate about you. could be read as platonic or romantic.

warnings: reader is drunk, mentions of drugs, james is a respectful king

masterlist

𝜗𝜚

Okay, so maybe it was more than a few drinks. But that was what you had told yourself you were going to have as you made your way into the Gryffindor common room that night.

The room was already packed with people- the chairs and sofas were already filled with couples making out and almost all the space between those and the drink tables was filled with dancing, drunk bodies.

You and Lily walked down the steps together, your arms linked as you entered into the crowd of people. You were wearing a mini skirt- Mary had insisted they were the new hot thing- and a long sleeved cropped shirt. You felt good- you felt hot.

The party was hosted, of course, by none other than the marauders, who had managed to supply the masses with the best liquor you could get in Hogsmeade.

“I’m gonna go find Remus!” Lily yelled over the loud music coming from the enchanted record player by the fireplace. You nodded, squeezing her arm as you parted ways.

You danced around the room for a while, mixing with people as you found your way over to the drink table.

“Y/N! What can I get ya?” Peter, who had volunteered to hand out the more expensive drinks, yelled to you over the noise.

“Give me whatever you’ve got!” you shouted, still swaying slightly to the music.

“You got it!” he said, pulling a bottle of something expensive looking out from under the table. “Sirius stole this from his parent’s cabinet over the holiday!” He poured you a shot which you immediately took. The liquid burned your throat but you immediately felt the effects.

“That’s good!” you yelled, your voice a little hoarse. “Hit me again!” You slammed your shot glass back down on the table.

By the time you were dancing away with a beer in your hand, you’d had three more shots of different types of expensive liquor. The music was loud enough to shake the floor and you could definitely feel it as you let your body move to the beat without much notice.

“Siri!” you cheered when he appeared in front of you. You jumped up and wrapped your arms around his neck, still shaking your hips to the music.

“You’re absolutely shitfaced, darling,” he said loudly, trying to peel your arms off of him. You pulled back, dancing wildly in front of him.

“Aren’t you having fun?” you yelled, slurring your words as your hair swung around your face. You put your beer back up to your lips, tipping your head back so the last of the liquid would fall into your mouth.

“No, okay, you’re done,” he said, taking the bottle from you. You whined, reaching for it. “Aww, no, you’ve had enough.” He tapped your cheek and turned to throw the bottle away in a garbage can a few feet away.

The music switched and you gasped, immediately recognizing the beat. You started spinning, swinging your arms as you did so before colliding with someone’s chest.

“Woah there,” James said, grabbing your upper arms and holding you out in front of him. “You alright?”

“Jamie, I love this song!” you slurred, jumping up and down. “You took me higher and higher, baby!” you sang loudly, making him chuckle lightly. “It’s a living thing!” You took his laughter as motivation and twisted your way out of his grip to dance more freely.

In your drunken state, you devised what you thought was the best idea ever.

You climbed up on the table next to you, continuing your intoxicated dance once you regained your balance.

“Y/N!” James yelled, eerily aware of how many people could currently see up your skirt. “Y/N! Get down!”

You ignored him and listened to the whoops and hollers of people around you, only making you dance more energetically.

“It’s a living thing! It’s a terrible thing to lose! It’s a giving thing!” you sang as the song came to a stop. People clapped and cheered as you swayed atop the table.

“Alright, Y/N, song’s over,” James said from below you. “Time to get down.” You waved your hand dismissively at him, still trying to keep your balance.

“M’getting hot,” you mumbled, your fingers toying with the bottom of your shirt and beginning to pull it up.

James was up on the table inhumanly fast, pulling your shirt down safely over your chest before you could process what was going on. You groaned, slumping forward and putting all your weight on him.

“Okay, okay, time for bed,” he said, lifting you up like a child onto his hip. You didn’t fight, instead attaching yourself to him like a koala.

“You smell good,” you muttered into his shoulder as he started up the stairs to his dorm room. He would’ve taken you to your own room if he wasn’t too buzzed to do the charm to disable the sliding steps.

He pushed open the door, thankful none of the other boys were back in the room with anyone yet. He sat you down on his bed, kneeling down in front of you to take off your shoes.

“You’re so nice, Jamie,” you said as he unbuckled your black Mary Jane’s. You reached a hand up to play with his hair, utterly intrigued by it in your intoxicated state. He set your shoes off to the side and looked up at you.

“Did you take anything?” he asked, using his thumb and pointer finger to hold your eye open. He saw a few people doing lines downstairs and he knew you could usually hold your liquor better than this. You swatted him away, giggling.

“Noooo, I don’t drink,” you said, clearly out of it. He sighed, pushing you back gently so you’d lay down. You giggled as you bounced onto the mattress, your eyes already drooping as James went to Sirius’ bed to steal some pillows.

“Come on,” he said, rolling you onto your side and stacking pillows on either side of you so you wouldn’t roll over. “There you go.”

“Mmm, thank you, James,” you mumbled incoherently.

“Yeah, yeah,” he sighed, sitting at the foot of the bed. He’d made the mistake before of falling asleep in one of the other’s beds during a party and woke up to a drunk Sirius on top of him. He also didn’t want to be disrespectful and sleep next to you, even if you wouldn’t have minded.

“G’night, Jamie,” you muttered, fighting to stay away.

“Good night, Y/N.”

[none-shall-caricature-me]

I've noticed that, probably due to a desire to alleviate the grim nature of the original, many xuexiao fanfic writers opt to focus on (twisted or fluffy) romantic feelings of the characters. The emphasis ends up being on their romantic / platonic / sexual attraction rather than their incredibly juicy ideological contest and the antagonistic tension mixed with intrigue that Xue Yang shows towards Xiao Xingchen. Basically, there is too much 'lovers / froends' and not enough 'enemies' in their enemies - to - lovers / friends story. (I'm not criticising that. I'm a sucker for their mushier side too. But I'm equally a sucker for a good brutal battle of creeds.)

So let me fill this gap by describing how DELICIOUS the exploration of the 'you're my enemy and u SUCK and your worldview is RIDICULOUS but I LOVE rotating you in the microwave testing the limits of your resolve' aspect is or can be. I'll use some moments from the show / novel that I find striking in this regard.

XXC is very kind but lacks the worldly experience to be spot - on empathetic (as others have pointed out). He's also rigid to a fault. This is a VERY unpopular interpretation of mine but I believe he can be selfish / negligent in his goodness - he sheds caution about possible repercussions on his near ones in his mission to fight evil. He was smart enough to figure out the Chang massacre and trace it to XY. He knows XY is incredibly vengeful and creative in his vengeance. He's had experience with powerful people who will obstruct justice. Yet he goes ahead with prosecuting XY even when Jin Guangshan acts shady and uncooperative. Didn't he consider that this might put a target on his well - known partner Song Lan ?

Welp, then the Baixue bloodbath happens and XXC very understandably blames himself. I know we like to say it wasn't his fault, and of course it technically wasn't, but he did commit a grave error in not thinking through the consequences. It could be a miscalculation, negligence or even cavalier tunnel - vision, depending on your opinion. But anyway, XXC's morale is shattered and as others (like ameliarating) have said, he determined to never end up harming others in his quest for righteousness again.

XY wiped out Baixue for revenge, but also to kill XXC's hopes and vision, again also mentioned by others. May be a stretch, but it could be XY's way of saying 'hah, you don't care to understand why the world is as awful as it is, and then blame ME for doing shitty things to live it up in a shitty world. So let me show you how things actually work, and why my existence and lifestyle are valid.' It's like a really fucked up method of self - affirmation for XY. (Just in case - I am neutral on XY's actions. The novel doesn't give us much insight into his thoughts, so I'll withhold judgement on the nature vs. nurture debate about XY. But he's definitely an interesting character).

Then XY starts infiltrating XXC's life in Yi City. Why does he stick around after healing ? I like to think it's initially because he's a) taking advantage of XXC's generous freebies cuz why not and b) wants to torment him, yes, but he's also very very curious about XXC. Maybe it's because XXC's still out here trying to do good when many people would've either quit and hardened their hearts, or been broken irreparably. So XY think's he'll get both schadenfreude and try to find out why this dumbass saved a highly suspicious dying man and continued on his goody goody quest instead of learning his lesson. The lesson XY tried to teach him. Maybe XXC's whole deal makes XY wonder how his life would be if he'd acted nicer and more socially acceptable. Would it have saved him any pain ? Would he have had true allies then ? Did he choose a life of callous crime because he is weak - willed and 'inferior' unlike the seemingly unbreakable superiority of XXC ?

So he makes XXC kill on 'night - hunts'. Perhaps to prove that XXC got manipulated into doing harm cuz he's dumb or full of hubris and refuses to wisen up, refuses to become more cynical and wary of people. This ties back into Baixue too. Also I think the book mentions the victims are residents who mocked / cheated XXC ? If that's true, it's like XY is 'introducing' XXC to taking bloody revenge just like XY did on the Chang clan and others who crossed him / his pals. Like he's enacting teaching XXC 'look, if you keep up the good deeds, eventually you'll meet someone who ruins you so you destroy that hope for humanity and become just like me. Your way will always end in disaster, and therefore I'm justified in living like I do.'

Of course, in the end XY realises that XXC's drive to better society was his way of coping with the harsh reality of humans, especially after being ousted from BSSR's mountain. XXC didn't want to live in a sordid world. Meanwhile XY's coping mechanism was to extort the sordid world for all he wanted.

There's a tiny moment in CQL where, after the fake night hunt slaughter, XXC walks past a smirking XY and his arm brushes XY's sleeve, whose grin grows larger. It's like XY's relishing in XXC so casually touching and hanging about him totally unawares. Also he's horny for XXC's combat skills.

So yeah. Antagonist obsessed with corrupting his enemy, wrapping him around his finger, but not willing to let go. He ended up being totally down to bask in XXC's obstinate kindness despite that being the very thing he wanted to disprove and destroy.

XXC hesitates to kill XY after the reveal. What does he get from XY? Maybe it was reassuring that someone as hard - hearted and self - centred as his friend was willing to stick around in no man's land with him. It's soothing because it makes it seem like the world isn't that cruel, that perhaps the potential for good exists in people, hence helping XXC cope with his existential anxiety. He has to hold on to that hope even as his friend's identity is revealed, else there's nothing left for him since he can't bear to live in a world of evil and exploitation.

Why didn't XY move on after XXC's suicide ? If all he wanted was acceptance and shelter, he could've found so many other options. No, he was obsessed with XXC cuz he thought that if someone perfectly willing to kill him in the past over morals hesitated to kill him in the end, it must be an actual stable love. Where else, he thinks, would be find someone who loved him enough to not kill him despite them being such hostile opposites by character and circumstance ? Lots of people could love him cuz they agreed with his worldview or found it / him expedient. Who would love him even when their entire identity and misery opposed it ?

[mirisss]

Heartfelt Choices

Pairing: Mun Junghyun x reader, Lee Jeonghyeon x reader, Ji Yunseo x reader, Park Gunwook x reader (none poly). 

Wordcount ≈ 6.2k (hehe whoops)

Warnings: mentions of food, argument with parents regarding sexuality (just mentions it), a tiny bit of angst, I think that’s it. 

Summary: Faced with romantic feelings for all four boys, (Y/n) embarks on a journey of self-discovery, guided by the wisdom of her friendships. Through laughter, understanding, and heartfelt conversations, they learn that love isn't always predictable, but it's the happiness found in the present that truly matters. 

All of them are the same age in this.

Thank you so much for this request 🌥️ I hope you like it! Also thank you for the song recs! I listened to the songs while writing this, however, I’m not sure they influenced the story too much. I loved the fact that you gave me so much material for the story so I ended up writing it really quickly! 

Please reblog! Requests are open!

Third Person POV

In the halls of their high school, (Y/n) moved through her senior year surrounded by an inseparable group of friends: Munjung, Yunseo, Leejung, and Gunwook, all seniors like her. What made their friendship unique was the unspoken bond they shared, transcending traditional gender barriers. In recent times, however, a subtle shift has taken place within the group dynamics. Munjung, with his earnest eyes, Yunseo, with his gentle smiles, Leejung, with his thoughtful gestures, and Gunwook, with his intimidating yet caring demeanor, had all begun to harbor feelings for (Y/n). The once-platonic camaraderie now crackled with an undercurrent of unspoken emotions, creating an atmosphere charged with anticipation and unexplored possibilities. Despite this newfound tension, their friendship remained steadfast, navigating the delicate balance between unspoken desires and the unbreakable bonds of friendship that had brought them together in the first place.

In the cozy corner of their favorite coffee shop, (Y/n) sat surrounded by her close-knit group of friends. The atmosphere was warm, filled with the comforting aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the soft hum of conversation. Munjung, unable to hide his affection, stole glances at (Y/n) as he spoke, "Hey, (Y/n), have you checked out that new movie everyone's talking about? I was thinking maybe we could all go together this weekend." 

(Y/n) smiled, unaware of the underlying tension in the air, and replied, "That sounds like a great idea, Munjung! I heard it's really good." Yunseo, trying to mask his own feelings, chimed in, "Yeah, I heard the same. Count me in!" Leejung, always the peacemaker of the group, added, "Perfect, it's a plan then. And maybe we can grab dinner afterward?"

Gunwook, who had been unusually quiet, cleared his throat, his eyes meeting (Y/n)'s briefly before he spoke, "Sounds good to me. Any place you have in mind, (Y/n)?" (Y/n) thought for a moment, feeling the subtle shifts in her friends' dynamics, and said, "How about that new sushi place downtown? I've heard they have amazing food." The others agreed, and as they continued to plan their outing, the unspoken emotions hung in the air, adding a layer of complexity to their seemingly ordinary conversation. Each glance, each word exchanged, carried a weight of unspoken feelings, creating a bittersweet tension that none of them were ready to confront just yet.

As the weekend arrived, the group of friends gathered excitedly outside the local movie theater. There was a palpable energy in the air, a mix of anticipation for the film and the unspoken emotions that lingered between them. Inside the dimly lit theater, they settled into their seats, (Y/n) finding herself between Munjung and Yunseo, with Leejung and Gunwook on the other side. The movie began, but amidst the gripping storyline, stolen glances and subtle touches spoke volumes, capturing the complexity of their evolving relationships.

After the movie, they headed to the downtown sushi restaurant, its warm ambiance providing a backdrop for their shared moments. Laughter and easy conversation flowed as they savored delicious rolls and shared stories. Munjung, unable to contain his feelings any longer, mustered the courage to compliment (Y/n) on her choice of restaurant, his eyes reflecting admiration. Yunseo, noticing Munjung's subtle confession, smiled in support, his own feelings hidden behind a friendly facade. Leejung, perceptive as always, subtly steered the conversation, lightening the atmosphere whenever things seemed to get too intense. Gunwook, though quiet, observed his friends closely, his eyes occasionally meeting (Y/n)'s, revealing depths of unspoken emotions.

Amidst the clinking of chopsticks and the chatter of other diners, their unacknowledged feelings hung in the air like a secret melody, leaving an indelible mark on their friendship. Despite the undercurrent of emotions, the evening ended with smiles and shared jokes, a testament to the strength of their bond. Little did they know, the unspoken words and hidden glances would continue to shape their interactions, adding layers of complexity to their friendship as they navigated the uncharted waters of love and friendship, bound together by the threads of their shared history and genuine affection for one another.

As the days passed, (Y/n) found herself caught in a whirlwind of emotions, her thoughts often drifting back to her close-knit group of friends. The unspoken tension that had been lingering among them became more palpable, and she couldn't ignore the subtle changes in their dynamics. Munjung's genuine compliments, Yunseo's lingering smiles, Leejung's caring gestures, and Gunwook's quiet presence started to evoke feelings within her that she hadn't anticipated.

One evening, as they all sat together at their favorite hangout spot, (Y/n) couldn't help but notice the way Munjung's eyes lit up when he spoke, the warmth in Yunseo's laughter, the gentleness in Leejung's voice, and the depth in Gunwook's gaze. It was in those moments that she realized her feelings were shifting, transcending the boundaries of friendship. The realization hit her like a tidal wave, leaving her both exhilarated and apprehensive.

Confused and unsure how to navigate this newfound territory, (Y/n) found herself replaying their interactions in her mind, searching for clues and signs that mirrored her own emotions. She cherished the camaraderie they shared but couldn't deny the growing affection that was blooming within her heart. The laughter they shared became more precious, and the stolen glances became laden with unspoken meaning.

As the days turned into weeks, (Y/n) found herself torn between treasuring their friendship and exploring the uncharted waters of romance. The complexity of her emotions weighed on her, leaving her contemplative and introspective. She valued her friendship with Munjung, Yunseo, Leejung, and Gunwook deeply, and the fear of changing their dynamics was both thrilling and terrifying. With each passing moment, she grappled with her feelings, unsure of how to approach this new chapter in their relationship. Little did she know, her friends were likely experiencing similar emotions, creating an unspoken connection that bound them even closer, even as they navigated the unsteady path between friendship and love.

(Y/n) decided to spend some quality one-on-one time with her friends to gain a better understanding of her own feelings and perhaps shed some light on their unspoken emotions as well. She started by inviting each of them separately to hang out. 

First, it was a day with Munjung. They decided to visit a local park, taking a leisurely walk along the winding paths. The sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow on everything. (Y/n) and Munjung shared stories and memories, and as they sat on a bench, he looked at her with a soft smile, confessing, "You know, (Y/n), I really cherish our time together. You're such an amazing person, and I'm lucky to have you as a friend." His words touched her, and as they locked eyes, the unspoken emotions between them became even more evident. She thanked Munjung for his honesty and shared her own feelings of appreciation, hinting at the depth of her emotions.

On another day, (Y/n) hung out with Yunseo. They explored a small art gallery in town, both of them admiring the vibrant colors and intricate designs. As they stood in front of a particularly moving painting, Yunseo turned to her and said, "You know, (Y/n), I see beauty in everything, but there's something about you that's extraordinary." His words caught her off guard, and her heart raced as she realized the depth of his feelings. She reciprocated with a sincere smile, acknowledging the unique connection they shared.

The next hangout was with Leejung. They decided to go to a quiet café, where they sipped coffee and discussed their dreams and ambitions. Leejung looked at her with admiration and confessed, "You've always been so supportive, (Y/n), and I admire your determination. I truly value your friendship." (Y/n) appreciated his kind words and shared her own feelings of respect, not revealing the emotions that lingered beneath the surface.

Finally, (Y/n) spent time with Gunwook. They went for a walk by the beach, the sound of the crashing waves creating a soothing backdrop. In a moment of vulnerability, Gunwook turned to her and said, "There's a certain tranquility in your presence, (Y/n), and I find myself drawn to it." (Y/n) felt her heart skip a beat, realizing that her feelings mirrored his. She offered a warm smile in response, hinting at the connection they shared.

Each individual hangout deepened (Y/n)'s understanding of her own emotions and the unspoken feelings within her group of friends. The uncharted territory of their relationships became a little less uncertain, and the bonds between them grew stronger, as they navigated the fine line between friendship and something more.

After a grueling day of studying, the five friends found themselves on the crowded bus, heading home. The exhaustion weighed heavily on them, their eyelids drooping with fatigue. (Y/n), feeling particularly drained, rested her head on the shoulder of one of her friends. It happened to be Munjung, who was sitting next to her. He noticed her weary state and gently adjusted his position, allowing her to find a comfortable spot on his shoulder.

As the bus rumbled along the familiar route, (Y/n) succumbed to the lull of the motion, her breathing evening out as she slipped into a deep slumber. Munjung, careful not to disturb her, sat still, his gaze alternating between the passing scenery and the peaceful expression on her face. The other friends exchanged knowing glances, understanding the unspoken significance of this simple gesture.

Munjung, with (Y/n) leaning on him, felt a mix of emotions swirling within him – warmth, contentment, and a touch of longing. He dared not move, cherishing the rare intimacy of the moment. The rhythmic hum of the bus and the gentle rise and fall of (Y/n)'s breath created a serene atmosphere, encapsulating them in a bubble of tranquility amidst the busyness of the city.

The bus ride continued, the soft glow of the streetlights casting a gentle ambiance on their faces. In that quiet moment, the unspoken emotions within the group resonated, the uncharted territories of their hearts finding solace in the comfort of friendship. Munjung, feeling an indescribable connection, let (Y/n) rest, silently hoping that the serenity of this night would linger, even as they stepped off the bus and back into the reality of their complicated feelings.

As winter settled in, the library became a refuge for (Y/n) and her friends, a sanctuary of knowledge amidst the chilly air outside. One day, as they delved into their studies, (Y/n) felt the winter cold seeping through the library windows, sending shivers down her spine. Gunwook, always perceptive, noticed her discomfort and wordlessly offered her his jacket.

Grateful for his gesture, (Y/n) draped the jacket around her shoulders, feeling the warmth envelop her like a protective cocoon. Despite the added layer, the library's chill persisted, prompting her to unconsciously inch closer to Gunwook. She nestled beside him, seeking the natural warmth he exuded. Gunwook, understanding her need for comfort, didn't flinch. Instead, he adjusted his position slightly, allowing her to get closer.

As they continued to study, the distance between them diminished further, the shared body heat providing a welcome respite from the winter cold. Gunwook, feeling (Y/n)'s presence beside him, found himself both surprised and comforted by her proximity. They exchanged occasional glances, their eyes meeting in silent understanding, acknowledging the unspoken connection that seemed to intensify in the midst of the winter chill.

In that quiet corner of the library, amidst the hushed whispers of turning pages and the faint hum of the heating system, (Y/n) and Gunwook found solace in each other's presence. The winter outside might have been cold and unforgiving, but within the warmth they shared, there was an undeniable intimacy, a budding affection that seemed to blossom like a winter flower, unexpected yet beautiful, reminding them that even in the coldest of seasons, the heart could find its way to warmth.

"I just can't seem to grasp this concept," she admitted, her breath visible in the chilled air as she pointed at a particularly challenging section of her assignment. Gunwook, his voice soft but confident, replied, "Let me help you with that. See, if you approach it from this angle..." His words were patient and reassuring, guiding her through the complexities of the topic. (Y/n) listened intently, her eyes lighting up with understanding as he explained the intricacies of the assignment. At that moment, their closeness wasn't just physical; it was intellectual, a shared pursuit of knowledge that bridged the gap between them. The library, once a silent witness to their friendship, now held the echoes of their collaborative effort, the unspoken warmth of their connection making the winter's chill seem a world away.

With just about a week until Christmas, the air was filled with a festive buzz, but (Y/n) found herself sitting alone in a park in their neighborhood, the twinkling lights from distant houses casting a soft glow on the snow-covered ground. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice Leejung approaching until he spoke. His concerned voice cut through her reverie, and she looked up, her eyes reflecting a sadness that seemed out of place amidst the holiday cheer. "What are you doing here? It's late," he asked, his voice carrying a mix of worry and genuine care.

(Y/n) sighed, her breath visible in the chilly night air, and replied, "I just needed some time alone. The holidays can be overwhelming, you know?" Leejung nodded in understanding, taking a seat beside her. He offered a small smile, trying to bring some comfort to her troubled heart. "You don't have to face it all alone, you know. We're here for you, always," he said gently, his words carrying the weight of their shared history and unspoken emotions. In that moment, the park, usually a place of play and laughter, became a sanctuary of understanding and support, a testament to the depth of their friendship. As they sat there together, the quiet night enveloped them, offering solace amidst the holiday chaos, reminding (Y/n) that even in her moments of solitude, she was never truly alone.

As (Y/n) confided in Leejung about the recent argument with her parents, her voice trembled slightly in the cold night air. "I don't know, Leejung," she said, her tone heavy with uncertainty. "I just mentioned that I've been feeling conflicted about my sexuality, like I might be asexual or demisexual, and they didn't understand. It turned into this big argument, and I feel like they don't accept me for who I am."

Leejung's expression softened with empathy, and he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this, (Y/n). Remember, your identity is valid, and you have every right to explore and understand it at your own pace. Your true friends will always accept and support you, no matter what." His words carried a warmth that cut through the cold, offering (Y/n) a glimmer of hope in that vulnerable moment. 

In that instant, amidst the darkness of the night, (Y/n) felt a deep sense of gratitude for Leejung's understanding and acceptance. It was a reminder that even in the face of familial misunderstandings, she had friends like him who stood by her side, providing the strength and support she needed to navigate the complexities of her identity. The park, once a place of solace, became a sanctuary of acceptance and friendship, where (Y/n) found comfort in Leejung's unwavering support, reminding her that she was never alone in her journey of self-discovery.

On the 26th of December, the air was filled with a sense of tradition as (Y/n)'s family and Yunseo's family gathered for their annual dinner, a cherished tradition that had endured for 14 years. Normally, the atmosphere was filled with laughter, warm hugs, and the clinking of glasses, but this year, something felt different. Yunseo, perceptive as always, noticed the tension hanging in the air between (Y/n) and her parents.

Throughout the evening, he observed the subtle exchanges – the forced smiles, the strained small talk – and sensed the unspoken emotions that lingered beneath the surface. As he sat across the table from (Y/n), he caught her gaze, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sadness and frustration. It was in that moment that Yunseo realized something significant had transpired, something that had cast a shadow over their usually joyous gathering.

During a lull in the conversation, Yunseo discreetly reached out, placing a reassuring hand on (Y/n)'s, offering her a comforting smile. He understood the weight of family expectations and the complexities of acceptance, and his gesture conveyed a silent message: "I'm here for you." (Y/n) squeezed his hand in gratitude, finding solace in his unwavering support.

In the midst of the holiday cheer and the familiar traditions, Yunseo and (Y/n) shared a silent bond, a reminder that even in the face of familial challenges, their friendship remained a constant source of strength. The dinner might have been marked by tension, but the unspoken solidarity between Yunseo and (Y/n) served as a beacon of reassurance, reminding them both that they were not alone in their struggles, that their chosen family was just as important, if not more so, than their blood ties.

In the quiet hours of the night, the dim light from a bedside lamp cast a soft glow on the faces of Yunseo and (Y/n) as they lay side by side during their mandatory sleepover. Despite the familiarity of the tradition, a palpable tension lingered between them, mirroring the unease from the earlier dinner.

Unable to shake off the thoughts that had troubled him, Yunseo hesitated for a moment before breaking the silence. "Are you awake?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, the weight of unspoken concerns evident in his tone. To his relief, (Y/n) responded softly, "Yes," her voice carrying a mixture of weariness and vulnerability.

(Y/n) then began to recount the argument she had with her parents, her words hanging heavy in the air. She described the pain of not being understood, the frustration of feeling judged for her identity, and the longing for acceptance. Yunseo listened attentively, his eyes reflecting empathy, and he reached out to gently squeeze (Y/n)'s hand in a gesture of solidarity.

As (Y/n) spoke, the room seemed to shrink, enveloping them in a bubble of shared confidence. In that vulnerable moment, (Y/n) found solace in the simple act of opening up to her friend, and Yunseo, in turn, felt honored to be entrusted with her innermost thoughts. The quiet intimacy of the night became a space of mutual understanding, a sanctuary where their friendship deepened amidst the challenges they faced.

As they continued to talk, the darkness outside slowly gave way to the soft light of dawn, marking the passage of time. In the hushed hours of the early morning, (Y/n) and Yunseo found strength in each other's presence, their bond resilient in the face of adversity. The tradition of their sleepovers, once a lighthearted ritual, had now become a testament to the unwavering support they offered each other, a reminder that even in the darkest of nights, their friendship remained a beacon of light.

In the quiet stillness of the early morning, as the weight of their conversation lingered in the air, (Y/n) sleepily whispered, her voice barely audible, "I missed being with you like this." Her words hung in the darkness, carrying a depth of emotion that echoed the unspoken bond between them. In response, Yunseo tightened his embrace, pulling her closer, and enveloping her in a comforting hug.

The room, once filled with tension, was now suffused with an unspoken understanding. In the intimacy of that moment, as they cuddled together, (Y/n) found solace in Yunseo's presence, a familiar warmth that chased away the remnants of her worries. Yunseo, too, cherished the closeness, his heart swelling with affection for his friend.

In the quietude of the dawn, they found comfort in each other's arms, their shared vulnerability forging an even stronger connection between them. It was a moment of raw honesty, a genuine expression of their deep friendship, and amidst the darkness, they discovered a profound lightness in each other's company. Wrapped in the warmth of their embrace, they drifted into a peaceful slumber, their intertwined hearts finding solace in the silent language of their unbreakable bond.

On New Year's Eve, the high school was adorned with twinkling lights and an air of anticipation as the small party commenced. The five friends, (Y/n), Munjung, Yunseo, Leejung, and Gunwook, mingled amidst the festivities. As the clock neared midnight, an unspoken tension hung in the air. Each of the four boys harbored a secret wish - to be the one standing beside (Y/n) when the clock struck twelve, to seize that moment to confess their feelings.

In the final minutes of the year, Munjung, with hopeful eyes, Yunseo, with a gentle smile, Leejung, with a quiet determination, and Gunwook, with a heart full of courage, all vied for (Y/n)'s attention, trying to create the perfect moment to draw her close. As the seconds ticked away, they exchanged quick glances, their expressions a mixture of hope and apprehension. Who would be the one to share that magical moment with (Y/n)?

In the final moments before the clock struck 12, (Y/n) was on a mission. With excitement gleaming in her eyes, she ran around the room, collecting her four closest friends. Amidst laughter and protests, she managed to gather all of them, her determination infectious.

Dragging them along, she led the way outside, where the night sky was about to burst into a kaleidoscope of colors. The anticipation in the air was palpable as they huddled close, watching in awe as the first firework lit up the sky. Their eyes widened in wonder, the vibrant hues reflected in their faces, illuminating the shared joy and camaraderie between them.

Under the dazzling display of fireworks, none of the four boys got the alone time they had secretly yearned for, but in that moment, it didn't matter. The magic of the new year was woven into the shared laughter, the exchanged glances, and the warmth of their friendship. Their unspoken wishes may not have been granted, but they had something just as precious - a magical New Year's Eve with their best friends and the girl of their dreams.

As the last firework exploded, painting the sky with a brilliant finale, they exchanged smiles, realizing that what they had was worth more than any fleeting moment of romance. In that moment, they embraced the new year with open hearts, knowing that their friendship was a treasure that would continue to light up their lives, making every moment together truly magical.

Feeling torn and unable to confide in the four boys without risking their friendships, (Y/n) sought solace in her friend Lily. Sitting in a cozy corner of their favorite cafe, (Y/n) hesitated before opening up about her complicated feelings. Lily, always a patient listener, encouraged (Y/n) to share her thoughts.

As (Y/n) poured out her emotions, Lily listened with empathy, offering a compassionate ear without judgment. "It's a tough situation, (Y/n)," Lily said gently, her eyes reflecting understanding. "It sounds like you value your friendships a lot, and you're worried about jeopardizing them by confessing your feelings. It might be helpful to take some time to understand your own emotions first. Try imagining how a relationship would be with each of them, see if it could be what you want, and if one of them seems like a better fit."

Deep in thought, (Y/n) considered Lily's words. It dawned on her that she needed to explore her own feelings and priorities before making any decisions. Lily's guidance helped (Y/n) see that it was essential to be true to herself, even if it meant facing difficult choices.

Taking Lily's advice to heart, (Y/n) spent thoughtful moments visualizing what a romantic relationship might look like with each of her four friends. As she explored these mental scenarios, she found herself thinking of Munjung first.

In her imagination, she saw herself and Munjung sharing quiet evenings at their favorite coffee shop, laughing over shared jokes and talking about their dreams and fears. She pictured them going on long walks, their hands brushing against each other as they strolled, lost in deep conversations. In these daydreams, she felt a sense of ease and comfort, as if they were two pieces of a puzzle finally fitting together.

This visualization process allowed (Y/n) to explore her emotions more deeply. With Munjung, she sensed a profound emotional connection, a bond that went beyond friendship. His genuine kindness and unwavering support resonated with her, making her heart skip a beat whenever she thought about him in a romantic context.

Feeling a newfound clarity, (Y/n) realized that her feelings for Munjung ran deeper than she had initially acknowledged. Armed with this understanding, she decided to approach the situation with honesty and open-mindedness. The journey of self-discovery had given her the confidence to confront her feelings and, perhaps, explore the possibility of a romantic relationship with Munjung, guided by the genuine friendship they shared.

Continuing her introspective journey, (Y/n) shifted her focus to Yunseo, her dear friend who had always been a source of unwavering support and understanding. As she delved into her imagination, she envisioned a relationship with Yunseo, picturing moments filled with laughter, shared dreams, and endless encouragement.

In her mind's eye, she saw them exploring the world together, visiting art galleries and museums, their eyes lighting up with a shared appreciation for creativity. She imagined Yunseo patiently helping her with her studies, his calm and encouraging presence making every challenge seem surmountable. She envisioned them cooking together, experimenting with new recipes, and finding joy in the simplest of moments.

In these daydreams, (Y/n) felt a sense of emotional security and companionship that resonated deeply with her. Yunseo's gentle nature and genuine care created a nurturing environment in her fantasies, one where she felt truly cherished and understood.

This visualization process, much like with Munjung, provided (Y/n) with valuable insights. She recognized the depth of her affection for Yunseo, realizing that he was not just a friend but someone she could potentially build a romantic connection with. As she contemplated these feelings, she felt a mix of excitement and nervousness, understanding that exploring a romantic relationship with Yunseo could lead to a beautiful, fulfilling partnership grounded in mutual respect and deep friendship. Armed with this newfound awareness, (Y/n) resolved to approach their relationship with honesty and openness, recognizing the potential for something truly special between them.

With her heart open to exploration, (Y/n) shifted her thoughts to envision a romantic relationship with Leejung, her steadfast and caring friend. In her mind's eye, she pictured moments of shared adventure and quiet understanding.

In her daydreams, (Y/n) and Leejung were seen exploring nature together, hiking through lush forests and marveling at the beauty of the natural world. She imagined him patiently teaching her how to play his favorite musical instrument, their laughter filling the room as they made music together. She visualized cozy evenings spent reading books, their interests aligning in perfect harmony.

In these imagined scenarios, (Y/n) felt a sense of tranquility and emotional connection. Leejung's calming presence and genuine kindness created a space where she felt completely at ease, and cherished for who she was. She saw in him a partner who valued her passions and encouraged her dreams, making her believe in herself even more.

These vivid daydreams revealed to (Y/n) the depth of her feelings for Leejung. She realized that he was not just a friend but someone with whom she could build a life filled with love, companionship, and mutual respect. As these thoughts settled within her, she felt a mixture of warmth and anticipation, acknowledging the possibility of a beautiful romantic relationship with Leejung. With her heart brimming with newfound understanding, (Y/n) felt ready to explore the uncharted territories of love, guided by the genuine affection she held for her caring friend.

(Y/n) closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to drift to Gunwook, her dependable friend who had always been there for her, especially during challenging times. In her daydreams, she envisioned a relationship with him that was filled with laughter, understanding, and unwavering support.

In her imagination, she saw them attending movie marathons together, sharing endless bags of popcorn and trading inside jokes. She pictured Gunwook helping her with her studies, his patient explanations and encouraging words giving her the confidence to tackle even the most difficult subjects. She visualized cozy evenings spent stargazing, their conversations meandering from the mysteries of the universe to their dreams and aspirations.

In these imaginary scenarios, (Y/n) felt a profound sense of emotional security and joy. Gunwook's infectious laughter and genuine kindness created an atmosphere where she felt truly cherished and appreciated for who she was. She saw in him a partner who not only made her laugh but also understood the depths of her soul, someone who stood by her side through thick and thin.

As these daydreams played out in her mind, (Y/n) realized the depth of her affection for Gunwook. His friendship had blossomed into something deeper, something that made her heart flutter with happiness. Acknowledging these feelings, she felt a sense of contentment and excitement, understanding that her connection with Gunwook held the potential for a beautiful and fulfilling romantic relationship.

Armed with these vivid realizations, (Y/n) approached the new chapter in her life with a newfound clarity. Each of her friends held a special place in her heart, and the complexity of her feelings, while daunting, was also a testament to the depth of the connections she shared with them. With a heart full of love and understanding, (Y/n) was ready to navigate the uncharted waters of romance, trusting in the genuine bonds she had with Munjung, Yunseo, Leejung, and Gunwook to guide her toward a future filled with happiness and love.

The sun streamed in through the windows of Leejung's cozy living room, casting a warm glow on the group of friends huddled together, their textbooks and notes spread out before them. The atmosphere was charged with focus as they prepared for the upcoming exam, their determination evident in their expressions. 

​​During a momentary pause in their studying, (Y/n) looked up from her notes, her eyes reflecting the uncertainty swirling within her. With a deep breath, she asked the question that had been weighing on her mind, "What would you do if you had feelings for more than one person at the same time?" Her voice was steady, yet beneath the surface, there was a vulnerability, a silent plea for guidance. She searched their faces, her friends, for insights, understanding that their responses could shed light on the intricate emotions she was grappling with. 

The room fell into a thoughtful silence as the boys exchanged glances, clearly recognizing the weight of the question. Munjung, Yunseo, Leejung, and Gunwook shared a brief moment of contemplation before Munjung, always thoughtful and articulate, spoke up first. "I think honesty is crucial," he said, his voice steady. "If you find yourself having feelings for more than one person, it's important to be open about it. Communication can help navigate these emotions and ensure that no one is hurt in the process."

Yunseo nodded in agreement, his eyes reflecting understanding. "Absolutely," he added. "Being honest with everyone involved, including yourself, allows for a clearer understanding of your own feelings and helps in making decisions that are respectful to everyone involved."

Leejung, usually quiet but perceptive, chimed in, "Understanding what you truly want and valuing the friendship you share with each person is vital. It's not just about your feelings but also about how your choices might affect the people around you. Respect and consideration should guide your actions."

Gunwook, always the thoughtful listener, finally spoke, his words carrying a depth of wisdom. "Feelings are complex and can't always be controlled," he said. "But being responsible for those feelings is within our power. It's about handling them with care, respecting the boundaries of friendship, and being aware of the impact our choices might have on others."

(Y/n) listened to their responses, her heart swelling with gratitude for the genuine friendships and the maturity they displayed. Their words provided her with valuable insights, reminding her of the importance of open communication, self-reflection, and, above all, respect for the emotions of everyone involved. As they resumed their studies, (Y/n) felt a newfound sense of clarity, armed with the wisdom of her friends as she navigated the complexities of her own heart.

Sensing the subtle worry in (Y/n)'s eyes after their conversation, Gunwook, ever perceptive and lighthearted, decided to break the tension. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he suddenly stood up, music playing in his mind, and started dancing wildly around the room. His movements were carefree, his laughter infectious, as he spun and twirled, encouraging everyone to join in. His spontaneous dance transformed the atmosphere, filling the room with laughter and easing the weight of their earlier conversation. (Y/n) couldn't help but smile, her worries momentarily forgotten as she joined in the fun, grateful for Gunwook's ability to bring joy into any situation.

Gunwook's impromptu dance party worked like magic, dispelling the lingering tension in the room. With smiles on their faces and laughter in the air, the group of friends decided to call it a day for studying. They gathered around, each claiming a comfortable spot in Leejung's living room, ready for the much-anticipated movie night. 

As they settled in, popcorn in hand and blankets draped over their laps, (Y/n) felt a sense of gratitude for her friends. Their ability to balance serious conversations with lighthearted moments was a testament to the strength of their friendship. The movie began, and for the next few hours, they lost themselves in the story unfolding on the screen, their laughter and occasional gasps creating a soundtrack of camaraderie. In that moment, all worries and uncertainties faded away, replaced by the simple joy of being surrounded by people who cared. The movie night became a cherished memory, a reminder of the power of friendship to uplift the spirits and bring solace in the midst of life's complexities.

With her hands wrapped around her warm cup, (Y/n) took a deep breath, her gaze meeting Lily's eyes with newfound determination. The cafe buzzed softly around them, but in that moment, there was a quiet intensity in (Y/n)'s voice as she said, "I actually think I know who to choose."

Lily's expression shifted from curiosity to supportive anticipation. She reached out, her hand gently covering (Y/n)'s, offering silent encouragement. "Who?" Lily asked, her voice soft and reassuring.

A small, genuine smile played on (Y/n)'s lips as she replied, "I choose to follow my heart, Lily. I choose love, and I choose (insert your choice)." Her words hung in the air, filled with certainty and a sense of peace.

In that instant, the weight of her decision seemed to lift, replaced by a profound sense of conviction. The choice was made, and (Y/n) felt a mix of excitement and calm settle within her. With Lily by her side, supporting her every step of the way, she felt ready to embrace this new chapter, guided by the authenticity of her feelings and the strength of her friendships.

With a heartfelt honesty in her voice, (Y/n) continued, "I don't know if this will last forever but what really matters is that I know I'll be happy with him right now." Her words resonated with a sense of present-moment contentment, embracing the idea that love, in its truest form, could be found in the joy of the present, in the happiness they could share together in this very moment. Lily smiled warmly, understanding the depth of (Y/n)'s feelings and her courage to embrace the beauty of the now, appreciating the love they had without worrying too much about the uncertainties of the future. In that cafe, amidst the soft hum of conversation and the aroma of coffee, (Y/n) found peace in her decision, ready to embark on this journey with (insert boy of your choice), guided by the simple yet profound truth that happiness was, indeed, worth the risk.

[lukas-clost]

an intro, of sorts

Hi! Hey! I am LuKa, and welcome to my closet wear I hide all my skeletons and their oddly paired socks!

I write Undertale fanfiction mostly about the skelebros and potential romantic partners (because I love Sans and I can't get enough of that gorgeous little 8-bit world!)

pfp made using QueenBee's character maker!

I'll be sharing story ideas, some of my WIPs and characters and stuff

asks and DMs are more than welcome!

until further notice, I don't do commissions or requests or anything else of a similar calibre

I am legally an adult, so anything NSFW will be explicitly stated, but minors, please watch yourself and be good, okay?

if you see lukas-wrld loitering around, don't mind her, she's me, but more sane, and dare I say, boring

Wattpad (does anyone even use this anymore?), Quotev, Ao3

I think mushrooms are cool (I don't know anything about mushrooms)

works below the cut!

TW: mentions of sex and drugs

An Escort

completed!/being rewritten

TW: mentions of sex, vague descriptions of sex, substance (ab)use

In Suncity, it's not unheard of to have a monster in your bed. With the desire to feel, through adrenaline, drinks and sex, it's no surprise that you have someone over every night. But the same monster over and over again? That's a shitstorm just waiting to happen.

If you like Underlust, platonic sex, or a (as far as I know, anyway) unorthodox writing style, you should check out An Escort! I may post the chapters here, when I finally get to polishing up the story, but for now, hope you don't mind reading elsewhere

tumblr post || Ao3 || Quotev || Wattpad

Blood, Dust & Honey

in progress

TW: death, kidnapping

The monsters have been on the surface for almost a year now, and even after being given the official ‘okay’ to integrate, humans are still sceptical about them.  When monsters start disappearing, their dust is swept under the carpet even as the Ebott City Police Department try their best to get to the bottom of it. Then humans start disappearing and citizens revolt against what looks like retaliation. Kate, an impatient, newly recruited detective, decides to take matters into her own hands when her superiors fail to make sufficient progress.  With the help of the other recruits and her new monster friends, she’ll have to find the culprit lest she lose her job and the rights of monsterkind.

If you like Underswap Papyrus, slow burns or kind of mystery I guess? then you should totally stick around for this! I plan to start posting in September, whether I'm done with the writing or not, lol

tumblr post || Ao3 || Quotev || Wattpad

The Colour of Love (Working Title)

planning/drafting

Living with hair that changes colour according to how you feel makes you an open book for interpretation. But then a certain skeleton monster makes you feel all sorts of things that you can’t pinpoint the feelings for the colours. Mix in that the truth of your obscure past starts to surface and suddenly colours seem to lose their meaning to you. But there’s one colour that makes you reconsider.

If you like Undertale Sans, memory loss or crazy scientists, then you might like this story! I plan to continue writing this once I finish with the previous story, whenever that may be, but that doesn't stop me from adding a few chapters or scenes in between!

TW: crazy scientists, memory loss

Pushing up Daisies

planning/drafting

The monsters have been released onto the Surface, and while mankind struggles to grasp the arrival of a new magical species, a malady that sweeps the earth causes them to disregard any friendliness that might have been shown in favour of slaughtering the beasts that supposedly brought the disease. The dead soon share ownership of the Surface with malevolence and lasting another day becomes harder and harder. But pair a badass young adult who has long since tuned out the cries of her Soul, with a perverted skeleton in search of his family, and maybe they'll be able to unearth the germ of all of this. If you like Underfell Sans, zombie apocalypses or cross country (more like city, lol) trips to find family, then this could be for you!

TW: death, the undead, weapons, blood

A Series of Mansions

skeleton lords and their maids, romance, shadows, and... problems As of now, I'm literally just worldbuilding and figuring out character dynamics and jotting down little scenes that I can't wait to write! But I'll be sharing a few things here and there and trying not to lose my mind over the mountain I have decided to climb... this should be fun! even though it's really ambitious for me, but I can't get rid of the idea!!

I Call Shotgun!

planning

A crackfic(?) where Burgerpants, NiceCream Guy, Bratty, Catty and Mad Mew Mew go on a road trip together. Shenanigans ensue and bad luck follows. I don't even remember where I got this idea from, but it's silly and I want it to be very light hearted and fun and completely different paced from what I usually write!

[acacia-may]

Hi Acacia! 💕

What about these three for the fruit ask game 🍇🍏🫐?

Hi Lola! Thank you so much for your ask!! I'd be happy to answer these for you 💖

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

This is a difficult question for me because I think, in general, I'm more of a "missing scene" writer where I prefer to use my fanfictions to fill in plot holes and/or explore things that the canon didn't (i.e. how did certain characters react to certain events or how did these two characters even become friends with each other in the first place?). I also write a ton of post-canon fics resolving those loose ends that the endings of things left open to interpretation. For instance, I have written a lot about Finral and Langris repairing their brotherly relationship in the future and resolving to break the cycle and be better parents to their own kids someday.

I'm not sure I have a lot of fics that take place during a specific scene we actually got to see happen in the canon. I have written a few that take place during scenes we know happened/that were talked about but just happened off screen (i.e. "2AM" [OMORI]) or scenes that were (heavily) implied to have happened ("Faulty Wires and Empty Spaces" [YTTD]) but aside from a few brief moments (like the flashforward at the end of my Finral/Finesse fic "I'll Be Waiting") or "A Mixer Mix-Up" (which is a time-travel fic that takes place entirely during Finral's mixer at the beginning of BC) I don't think I've really written a lot of fics that take place during a specific scene, chapter, or episode of anything.

That said I think I'll just answer about what scenes have had the biggest impact on me and my writing and (totally showing my bias for my beloved Spatial Mage Brothers) I'd have to say Langris and Finral's face-off during the Royal Knights Exam and especially that extended flashback of their childhood is probably the big one for me (Shout out to Finral's childhood flashback in the Underwater Temple Arc too!!). Related to that is, of course, its continuation during the Elf Arc where the brothers face off again and, especially, that moment Finral finally gets through to Langris and we get to see how vulnerable and lonely he is.

Even though I don't think I've ever really written a fic that takes place during these events (at least not one that I've posted anywhere 😅), I think these two instances really shape how I interpret both Finral and Langris as characters and also how them and their relationship with each other.

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

I answered this here if you want to see the full discussion, but I certain fall into a lot of repetitive pitfalls as a writer. One I'd add to the list that I hadn't mentioned already is the characters "sigh" and "chuckle" all the time. 🤦‍♀️ It's in my quest to avoid dialogue tags, which I think I also tend to overuse, but yeah I need to get a little more creative in this category, I think.

Also, I think I've referenced the same song that reminds me of a particular ship in multiple different fanfictions about them. 😅 (But that's not for Black Clover so at least you are spared that one 😁)

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

I answered this too, unfortunately (sorry about that 😅), but pretty much anything with Langris and Finesse whether as individuals or especially their dynamic with each other (regardless of whether it's in a romantic or platonic way) is a particular favorite but very underrated in my opinion. I think they're both really interesting and have an interesting relationship, and I feel like there is a lot of untapped potential there that isn't explored enough in the canon or in fanworks.

I'd also like to add Charmy in here too, and not just because Rillmy can be a little underrated as a pairing sometimes (though I certainly feel that way at times) but also because I feel like a lot of times Charmy is kind of just shoved into the background and played for laughs as a feral, food-obsessed gremlin and while she can definitely be a feral food-obsessed gremlin sometimes, I feel like there is a lot more to her and to her character than just that. I love exploring Charmy's friendships with the Black Bulls especially Vanessa and Finral and just kind of giving her a little more room to breathe as a dynamic, capable, surprisingly shrewd, and kind of snarky character who is honest but really loves her friends.

[ghost-proofbaby]

the epilogue!! I hadn't even had chance to gush about hour 24 and the epilogue is already here! both are just so amazing. I'm actually really glad for the time difference because I have woken up in the best mood now because of this🖤🖤

Him coming straight back for her in the last hour was just perfect. They get thier movie moment and it's so satisfying, 'I'm not very good with giving you space, it seems' 😍 very Edward Cullen 'I'm tired of trying to stay away from you' and I mean that as a huge compliment because I really did love twilight back in the day 🙈 And then the way she kisses him in between talking smack about him, just like he did to her the first time! Think this was my favourite part, besides her slapping Steve and Eddie immediately becoming scary dog. Or maybe Steve getting all flustered at the thought of them doing stuff. All of it was just perfect. Did the ending change for you as you continued writing, or did you have it planned that way from the beginning? I love how he uses the same line from the prologue, 'the feelings mutual' don't mind me, just swooning over here 🖤

And then the epilogue! Awe my gosh it was the perfect mix of everything that's happened in this fic. The pining and yearning is still there because they're hiding it from the others, both of them wanting to just come clean and be out in the open with eachother but not being ready. And her hiding how she's in love with him now. Hiding it from their friends because she's still hiding how she feels about him. Genius. And then the humour and just how well they fit together and how they sass eachother. I love it so much. Plus the smut 🔥 the best part of the smut, the part he was more desperate for than anything else when they were in his kitchen. Loved that you did that. Hot and romantic all at once 🖤

Eddie being so worried about keeping it from Nancy was really sweet, it makes it really clear that their friendship is such a good one, like when R says later on about them combining the best parts of eachother. Plus Nancy just knowing that things had changed. Maybe due Eddie's sudden lack of pining about R to her. Or just that it's in her nature to notice things. It's a really great part of this story, Steve and Robin's friendship is obviously written a ton due to the show, but I really like how you gave Eddie a similar platonic relationship of his own. I also like how Nancy confirms that Eddie talked about her a whole lot, even when sober. mainly because of Steve saying to her during that phone call that Eddie didn't really talk about her at all, it just wasn't to Steve.

The photo! 😍 Aaahh this was so precious. Him mentioning pictures especially at the phone shop and then him choosing that photo as his lock screen, he's just so slushy for her I can't stand it. found it hilarious that he purposefully let her wear his shirt to meet them, maybe wanting her to be the one to out them, but then it's him showing off the phone 🤣 and then neither of them are really sorry for it. My heart is bursting!

But. My absolute favourite part of this was the flashback to when he goes to get her, how she explains that she doesn't want or need to start over. That their past is just as important as their future and they shouldn't disregard it or forget. Not to hold on to the awful parts but because it means they know eachother now. At least that's how I take it, her saying that felt just as important as her 'I love you'. Making him realise again that even with all that they went through she'd never want to forget him or not chose him, like he was so worried about from the very start. It was the perfect thing to say to him. Such great writing, honestly.

I can't believe it's over already! You should be so proud, 100% not too much or unrealistic. Perfect. I'm so glad we all watched a random Netflix show and it inspired all this. Can't wait to get stuck back into Mordor and catch up. Much love! 🖤🖤

bat 😭😭😭

i can’t explain how much your long comments have always made my day, not even just with this fic but with shire as well. the fact you take time out of your day to let me into your brain after you’ve read just makes my lil writer’s heart so happy. it’s like, i kinda cracked open my skull and went “hey, here’s what’s inside!” and you just don’t hesitate to do the same right back and gah 😭 thank you so fucking much. i adore you.

there is so much to say here, but you pretty much hit all of the nails on the head. yes, 1000% i adored giving nancy and eddie that platonic friendship similar to robin and steve (nancy deserves to have more guy friends who aren’t turned into love interests in my opinion), i loved writing how eddie and r’s dynamic both changed but also really managed to stay the same, and i really loved bringing that flashback up. i think that’s the important part: they can’t erase that night. it’s part of their story. if i were r, i wouldn’t want to erase it — eddie may have already been in love with her, but that night was her getting to fall in love with him (or at least begin to).

as for the question of how the ending changed… the short answer is, no. i always knew i wanted to end with them on a good note. choosing each other despite all the shit that went down.

but the long answer? yes, it changed so very much. originally, hour 24’s events would be the epilogue. originally, the final hours between those two were going to be very angsty. for a very long time, eddie’s confession was going to be very different. a lot more vague and lot more left unsaid. there was meant to be an entire hour that would only be a singular line of “eddie didn’t return to the apartment for the entire hour.” in which he completely walked out on her after indirectly admitting he was in love with her.

the honest truth is i got more attached to their story than i had planned. similar situation has happened with mordor. i tend to plan a lot of my fics to have fairly sad/angsty endings, and i’ve always been that way as a writer in every fandom i’ve ever been in, but something about eddie makes it impossible for me to not give him a happy ending.

in every timeline, in every universe, in every situation — i just want to give him a happy ending.

and maybe some of my fics would be more epic or impactful if i stuck with those sad endings, but i think eddie went through enough in canon, and i think real life is cruel enough as it is. i think we all deserve soft epilogues. i think eddie deserves them, those of us who write him deserve them, and those of us who read the stories deserve them. idk. i’m getting a little overly sentimental but… yeah. i think i just want to write 100 happy endings for this fictional idiot, probably more, and i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do.

cheers to the fact we all decided to watch this random netflix show, and cheers to all the beauty and wonderfulness, all the love, that has come from it. 🥂🖤

[renxholics]

searching for something specific? you may find what you are trying to find here. there are some things that will pop up and will not pop up when you use the search function, though. please keep that in mind. [requests open]

things to include while searching:

format, snippet, headcanon, fic, etc. snippets are one detailed scenario paragraph, headcanons are about three to five detailed paragraphs, fics are seven to eleven detailed paragraphs. snippets are like a one paragraph fic, headcanons are actual headcanons :

characters, varies per format. up to seven per snippet, five per headcanons, two per fic. the exception to this is if you request a group like first years, dorm leaders, staff, et cetera. this does not apply to fics, keep the fics focus on two characters at most :

type, fluff, mildly suggestive, angst, etc. fluff is just soft cuteness, mildly suggestive is not anything explicit but it may be a little bit more descriptive about the romance, angst is for when you feel like having your heart broken. you may mix around and ask for fluff to angst, angst to fluff, etc :

romantic or platonic, things will be written as romantic unless specified otherwise. if one of the requested characters is staff, the reader is assumed to be an adult and likely a faculty member, it is especially important to specify with those characters :

acceptable things to search include the following:

i will write poly, but only in headcanons or fics. snippets are a bit too short for me to include three people at once. do not mistake poly for love triangles, if you request poly i assume all characters are dating, including the boys, and in a happy relationship with no jealousy : unsure what it means?

media!reader. if im unaware of the franchise i can research it, but i’m pretty happy to do raiden!reader or something like that, game, movie, show similar reader and how the boys would be with them :

aus, i’m really down to write those! there’s my CRAU series i had a few months back i created where you are the game and they are the players i’d love to continue if anyones interested. if there are any other aus, feel free to suggest! ex an au where you’re the magic one and they’re magicless, au where they get sent to earth thanks to the mirror, etc. :

just general headcanons. if you don’t want a reader and just want general headcanons about Leona and how he plays with his nephew and secretly cares about Cheka i am willing to write for that :

all main characters from twisted wonderland that have sprites. if you wanna request neige, che’nya, rollo, crewel, trein, even the ghosts, grim, najma, etc. then go ahead. if they are mentioned and don’t have a sprite, rielle i will not write romantic or platonic, but may throw the name around somewhere in passing like the twins mentioning him, etc. :

a lot of things are essentially requestable, as long as they don’t go against what’s written down brow. if you’re unsure, send an ask or dm :

unacceptable things to search include the following:

anything that goes against my discover page. [byf/dni] make sure to read carefully before interacting :

nothing related to piss, scat, religion, or physical description, things such as ethnicity!reader, height!reader, weight!reader, etc. it’s not a matter of whether or not i am one of these things, it’s a matter of inclusivity. i try to leave physical descriptions out of my work, if you do not agree then find somewhere else to read free works :

the reader to have a gender. i absolutely will not write for fem readers or male readers, i will only write gender neutral with they/them pronouns. i respect you, just as i respect people with other pronouns, neopronouns, etc. not everyone is male or female. if you use a gendered term to describe the reader in your request, i may consider just deleting :

nothing related to ableism will be permitted. i refuse to write for any physical disabilities, or mental disabilities i do not have or relate to. it’s not a matter of research, it’s a matter of even if i know someone with it or read, i still have never personally experienced that pain and do not wish to romanticize it in any aspect, way, or form. i know asl, it does not mean i represent deaf people. just to clarify, any illnesses such as a cold or unspecified made up illness, along with injuries like broken arms or strained back are perfectly okay and permitted :

something that specifically looks like it were requested to another person. same spelling in ask, typos, etc. if it were requested to a different person within the past week that i manage to notice, i will not do it for awhile, or in general. this also includes another author’s original idea, please, please respect authors, i do not like people requesting something to me or seeing my original works then sending it to someone else, and i do not want to do that to someone else. it feels terrible. i also do not like the thought i may be stealing an idea from another person. if you’re a mass blog requester of the same request, do not include me :

i will not do anything that i deem makes me feel uncomfortable, or breaks my rules, thank you :

𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒𝐄. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇.

[disgracefulpigeon]

.

[revisitedgrunt]

Wednesday

I binged Wednesday a few days ago and I'm still having thoughts about it. Thought I'd write them down in an attempt to move on.

Spoilers follow.

For the most part, I really enjoyed it. Loved almost all the characters, loved the setting, loved the mystery and loved the acting. Jenna Ortega was fantastic, as she always is and everyone else did a great job with what they had to work with.

Honestly, my only issue with it was the love triangle. I'm one of those people that felt that Wednesday shouldn't have had a love interest, let alone two. The writers could have done the correct, smart thing and not included one, but they felt the need to include two. I can only guess it's because the characters are teenagers, but with Wednesday it just felt unneeded, cliché and poorly written.  

Throughout the entire season I didn't once get the impression that Wednesday was into either boy, so I was confused when she kept agreeing to do things with Tyler, like the dance and the date. Wednesday gave off absolutely zero romantic vibes, so why not just shut it down and tell him she wasn't interested. After seeing an interview with Jenna, I think I now have an idea of what happened.

Jenna didn't want a love triangle, she was against it. Jenna said that Wednesday's primary interest was the monster and the mystery and her interest in the boys wasn't genuine but just amusement and that boys are the last thing on Wednesday's mind.

Seems to me that Jenna had a much better idea of her character than the writers did. So going to the dance and on the date were just an amusing distraction, not because Wednesday was actually into it. This at least makes sense with Wednesday's absolute non-romantic interest in the boys. I'd love to see the script. Did Jenna play it how it was written, or was Wednesday meant to actually care and Jenna decided not to play it like that?

So, the love interests. Xavier was obviously the secondary one. I found it funny that they'd met as kids and Wednesday didn't remember him. He had to tell that very specific story to get her to remember. Given that for most of the season, Wednesday thought he was the Hyde, there really wasn't any romance here. Xavier as a person seems kinda terrible. Broke up with Bianca, basically accusing her of using her powers on him when there was no evidence she did. Also asked Bianca, who still seemed into him, at the dance they went to together, to take his memories of Wednesday away. Imagine you're Bianca and how bad that would make you feel.

Looks like he's being set up as the future love interest. Jenna also has an issue with this. In another interview (she also mentions being against the love triage here) she said she'd like them to become good friends as safe, platonic friendships between men and women aren't shown often enough.

I love Jenna for having the courage to speak out like this. I feel like a lot of actors wouldn't criticise the writers, but Jenna obviously knows her worth.

Now, Tyler. For the most part, I found him to be inoffensive. Apart from the “mixed signals” scene, which was a red flag as Wednesday had given him no signals, he wasn't too bad. There also wasn't really much there, he was just a generic “nice” guy. It was funny after finding out he's the Hyde, Wednesday wasn't upset. Her only response was a one liner about the first boy she kissed being a monster. This goes back to the fact that Wednesday gave off no romantic vibes and Jenna played it as Wednesday not genuinely being into him.

I would hope he's off the board as far as love interests go. We learnt in episode 8 that he did remember what he did as the Hyde, and he enjoyed it. Given that he almost killed Eugene, one of two people Wednesday forms an actual emotional bond with, I don't see her forgiving him.

Now it's time to talk about Enid, who's the only other person Wednesday seems to actually care about at Nevermore. Their relationship also doesn't come across as romantic. However, I feel that if the writers continue to force romance onto Wednesday, this one would at least make sense.

Unlike with Tyler and Xavier, Wednesday does seem to care about Enid's thoughts and feelings. All we need to do is look at the scenes where Enid moves out and the climatic hug to confirm this. Wednesday is genuinely upset when Enid moves out, we can contrast this with scenes of Tyler and Xavier being mad and her, and her not giving a damn.

The hug is also the emotional highlight of the show and the culmination of their relationship. Wednesday has backed away from hugs in the past, but here she hugs Enid back. It's not just a pity hug either, or because Wednesday thinks Enid deserves it. She hugs Enid tightly, emotionally, while closing her eyes. This is probably the most emotional we see Wednesday all season and, unlike the Tyler kiss, this doesn’t end badly.

I also found it interesting that Enid is the one who saves Wednesday from Tyler. In a lot of stories it's the love interest who saves the main character, but here it's Enid. It's even more interesting when a bit later we see Xavier try to save Wednesday from Joseph, which fails spectacularly and results in Wednesday getting hurt.

It would be very easy to turn this from a friendship to a romance. A lot easier than establishing something with Xavier, or someone new. I also don't think they'll do this. Gough and Millar have written for shows with wlw rep, The Shannara Chronicles and Into the Badlands, but I get the impression they are pushing the Wenclair friendship and want to keep them straight. This is also stupid because the whole point of the show is about being an outcast. They even equate this with being queer with Enid's subplot about conversion camp and her parents accepting her for who she is. Many queer people still fell like outcasts and this show could do so much good in having their main character, who has so much name recognition, be actually queer.

That was a lot. If you liked the romances I'm happy for you. I do hope there's a season two as the good greatly outweighed the bad.

I see Wenclair is already a popular tag :)

[coffeily]

It's ok, Everthing is gonna be fine :)

Tw : Platonic Quackitywastaken,Quackity x Dream, mention of tutore, Out Of character, Gore, manipulation(?)

Conteks : Quackity has a mental break down and Dream comforting him like ur mom did when you are not yet a failure. (sorry, i had to)

Notes: This has been in my head since las night aka 3 in the morning. This is inspired by the anime scene of Komi-san season 2 episode 3.

Quackity comes to the prison in a bad mood. He had gone through many bad events in a row. he fights with his husbands, charlie dies and even more bad things continue to grow. He came with a torture tool and a netherite axe and gripped them until the knuckle turned white. He came to Dream's cell prison.

The slowly decreasing lava that only met Dream who was sitting pretty in the corner who seemed to be waiting for his arrival. his hair is long until it touches the cold floor (in a sitting position). he used to have dirty blond hair, now it's starting to turn a little white because of all the stress he's been through. The strong horn that he had always been proud of had disappeared cut off. His green eyes that had always been bright and and shone in the dark beautifully now looked dull and glowed in the dark horribly. Dream glanced his eyes at the face Quackity was in then closed his eyes and smiled gently. Quackity swears he's sick of seeing that smile

Quackity tells him to give him the revival book and as usual Dream refuses. As usual, he will do something fun with Dream. (duh, what kind of fun- 🔫 ).

this time his feelings were mixed with the emotions he had always been holding back. He vented all his sadness and anger to Dream who could only be silent and accept. he jerked Dream away and blamed all him misfortune on Dream. Quackity unknowingly burst into tears and suddenly froze. Dream who is seen now even smiles and holds his hand and the rest whose hand is holding his cheek. Dream smiled and wiped his tears then said comfort words. (Unconsciously Quackity removes the ax in his hand). Quackity, who wanted to get out of Dream's grasp, fell into a loving embrace that Dream gave him. (bro, u mean in platonic way or romantic way???)

Quackity had almost forgotten what it felt like to be hugged, he had almost fallen out of Dream's trap. Quackity had rebelled and wanted to leave Dream's arms, who only got a head stroke with rough and cold hands but felt soft and warm when stroking her head. "It's okay. Everything is fine. It's okay to cry and be sad. You deserve love". Dream's voice was different from isr usual voice, it was softer and made this cold and dark prison cell warm and bright. (Wait a minute, why did Dream become like my mom-). Dream continued to stroke Quackity's head and back and whispered comforting words in Quackity's ear softly.

Is it because he is a succubi?(HEH??) Is it because he ever had children? Is he trying to get me into his trap? Is he mocking me? Did he underestimate me? .

Quackity kept asking in his mind. Quackity protested for Dream to let him go who was just ignored and continued his affectionate action. Dream hums a song that makes Quackity almost devoured by his trap and fall asleep. Keyword Almost. As Quackity was about to fall asleep, Sam shouted his name and asked how he was. Quackity is silent for 1 full hour without sound (damn). Quackity, who was now fully conscious, immediately repulsed Dream and escaped Dream's trap. Quackity picks up his dropped ax and tools and leaves from Dream's prison cell with a flushed face.

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here bestie, here to join in on the dissatisfaction train if your up for it. Let's list off somethings shall we and see what they remind you of. Relationships, romantic and platonic, that sucked people in in the initial seasons being now completely neglected/non-existent. A beloved character constantly being regressed to old behavior because the showrunner can't seem to come up with a storyline for them that shows their growth. Bottle episodes that don't make any sense to pop up when

they do since it delays other key plot lines. Events that should be impactful to multiple characters don't lead to any meaningful interactions. People getting criticized for pointing out how poorly things are being handled by other fans who insist it's the best thing ever. And let's not forget forcing unlikable/self-insert characters down our throats in places they don't belong while ignoring the existence of the ones we were interested in. Yup, you guessed it, I'm again  forced to compare 911 to RNM because this all feels like S3/S4 deja vu and I do not have the patience for that nonsense again. And no, we are nowhere near as bad off as what shitshow put us through, we still have some really good character stories and truly fun moments, but i feel like the cracks are showing. The ensemble show is rapidly feeling not-very-ensembly and it's disappointing. Add to that just the frustration of Buck never having a storyline where he actually gets to  address his trauma or his issues and it's no surprise people's patience is thin. And yes, the sperm donor nonsense hasn't fully played out, but did they really need to have a growth arc for Buck centered around guest characters that, when it's mentioned around his family, it's played for laughs?? We all thought surely the whole TayKay BS would give us something good last season, but instead she left with Buck's blessing, her terrible character flaws ignored. Just, I'm so tired 😔

My friend as usual we are absolutely on the same page! I haven’t been on as much and have been binging through some fic instead to make me feel a little better because on the one hand I absolutely cannot with the toxic positivity (not that everyone being positive about the show is “toxic” but you all know what I mean, the “if you have a single criticism, you’re stupid and should quit watching the show you obviously hate and don’t understand” crowd), but on the other I’m still overall having WAY more fun watching the episodes when they air than I did last season so I can’t really deal with the utterly hopeless, everything is awful crowd either! I’m just such a mix of emotions about everything right now (lady time hormones are NOT helping either) that it’s hard to know how to feel.

You’re SOOO right about the RNM war flashbacks though! While yes, 911 isn’t nearly as bad as the last 3 seasons of Plothole New Mexico, the similarities are...pretty startling and deeply frustrating! It’s always been odd that 911 didn’t have characters interacting with each other (Maddie and Eddie have never had a one-on-one scene despite being two of the most important people in Buck’s life and IT’S WEIRD!), but you almost didn’t really notice because there were so many good group scenes with most of the characters and everyone really felt like one big family. But now, the focus seems to have shifted so much to these new/different dynamics, and the show is completely ignoring the old ones so much so that it’s becoming more jarring instead of an enjoyable addition to the dynamics we know and love. @canonicallyobserving911 made a brilliant post recently about how the continuity and closure of storylines is being affected by this shift, not just with Buddie but things like Athena going through a major trauma and shift on her whole childhood friendship with someone and there being zero scenes with Hen about it, the person she first told about the girl going missing in the first place. I also mentioned how the scenes and dynamics with the firefam we are getting, especially in recent episodes, is basically just used for comic relief. Buck and Hen get close to some real talk but only while being drunk so the scene is still “silly”, and Eddie and Chim, while being a lot of fun to see together, have also only been used for the levity in the episodes. I love seeing them having fun, but given they are the two men who have had the mothers of their children leave, it feels like we should be getting some deeper scenes with them instead of just surface-level “fun” to keep the episodes “light”. (Not to mention BS like the tsunami coming up with some rando actress barely older than May instead of with someone we know and care about, and Buck not even being mentioned at all. I am....still eating glass about that nonsense.) 

And Buck....whoooo boy is Buck the Michael Guerin of this show. He of course isn’t treated nearly as badly by his found family as Michael often was, especially this past season, but the writing has been shying away from ever letting Buck truly deal with stuff. And I don’t want to hear any of that “healing isn’t linear” BS because a) it’s TV and it kinda has to be a little bit to keep things flowing, and b) that isn’t the point. We aren’t seeing Buck having momentary set backs that he overcomes like we’ve seen with Bobby and his alcoholism, we’re getting cyclical “one step forward, two steps back” storylines. We see a plot introduced, Buck spirals a bit and does something dumb, get’s lectured, rinse and repeat. I thought s4 and seeing him in therapy, seeing him snap at his parents (”Love me anyway” scene my absolute fucking beloved), seeing Eddie validate his feelings and Chim being a calming but firm presence helping back up both Maddie AND Buck, would really lead to some growth. But then Eddie got shot and we didn’t get a single scene of the firefam comforting him, or telling him they understood because all those kinds of scenes were used to wedge fucking Tay Kay into everything and the firefam scene we got was Bobby snapping at Buck, with no follow up of them talking about how worried Bobby was about both Buck AND Eddie. S5 could have given us more growth with Buck realizing he can and should step away from a relationship that isn’t bringing him any joy or providing him any of the support he needs. And had they made that call to wrap it up in 5a we might have gotten to see that more clearly, and then had Buck free to be the support for other storylines that SHOULD have been the major arcs for 5b like Maddie and Chim, Eddie’s breakdown, and we really should have gotten *something* for Bobby to do since his shooting was immediately forgotten and never mentioned again either, but then he had a whole celling fall on his back (you know, the one that was hurt originally, leading to his substance abuse issues?) and didn’t do anything with that, or with the truck falling off the cliff so I can’t say I’m really that surprised. 🤷🏻‍♀️  

You know my thoughts on 6x03 being pointless how it was done, but having both that episode AND Tomorrow in the same half-season when we’re already getting 1 less episode than normal before season break is just messy and asking for disaster and honestly ruined a lot of the flow from 6x02 into 6x04 but given that they also brought the sperm donor thing up and then had zilch about it for a month is bad pacing too so the “bottle” episodes aren’t the whole issue, but 6x03 and how that whole storyline was handled is certainly a part of the issue.

It’s also frustrating seeing these moments that could be SUCH great fodder for drama and involving the firefam directly instead of being separate storylines with guest characters, instead being played off for laughs, and quick one-off scenes. I am never going to be over the potential of things like Eddie working at dispatch when Buck and his team are in danger and him not being able to help being another thing that leads to his breakdown, or Chim surviving Jonah and then getting abducted at work, when his partner Hen isn’t there to have his back, and Buck placing himself in danger to save him while Bobby and Eddie are helpless to do anything, stuck at the scene of the original accident. These are SUCH perfect set-ups for some great character moments and conversations within the core group that are just being passed by, and for what?! For cheap cheating drama, and masturbation jokes, and a break-up AND make-up that happen mostly off screen, and a breakdown we barely saw? If I wanted to watch pointless drama for the sake of pointless drama I’d watch Grey’s Anatomy or something. 

There is something off about the show and even with everyone back there is something integral missing. This show was always fun and funny but also heartfelt and while it was dramatic, there was a realness to the drama, not just for the main character, but also in the way the emergencies were handled. Sometimes fun and silly, sometimes with jokes being cracked, but it never felt like the jokes or fun was at the expense of the characters involved. And that feeling seems to be missing, the way any YA novel-turned-movie by cash-grabbing studio execs who just wanted to cash in on merch sales feel so hollow and soulless compared to the books. Because the people running things do not love and care about the thing they are making and above all they do not respect it, or the audience for it. That’s the feeling I get when I see Buck getting ambushed at work, and his family finding out about this thing that *should* result in some deep, loving conversations and concern for one of their own being played for laughs at Buck’s expense, or an emergency with people in distress during the incident and during their rescue, but their call to 911 is some "memeable”, quippy pun. The crew and the cast still clearly love and respect the work they are doing, but looking at the writing, it’s just NOT the same and really does feel like KR’s idea of “lighter” is “making everything into a joke” instead of realizing that when you create tension there has to be a release, when someone suffers, there needs to be comfort, when characters fight, they need to make up. 

I’m with you, my friend. I’m just so, so tired. And god forbid I say that because then I’m suddenly “hate watching” and “don’t understand the show” and should quit watching. Did I laugh during this episode? YES! Did Eddie throwing that bracelet at Chim add 3 years to my life? YES! Did Hen and Chim stopping to yell and ask why that damn bracelet was still around make my heart swell with joy? YES! Did happy, relaxed, Beach!Eddie re-write my brain forever? YES! But at the same time, are a few surface level fun scenes enough to sustain the show? To make it memorable? What’s that quote? Art isn’t supposed to be pretty, it’s supposed to make you feel something”, and this show used to have such depth and heart that there are STILL scenes and episodes I’ve seen multiple times that just thinking about give me literal chills or makes me tear up a little. But it hasn’t been that way, consistently, in a LONG time and the audience is getting tired.

[nanatsumu]

📞 RENT A BOYFRIEND

03. a heart to hold

akaashi smiled at your texts before shutting off his phone and softly throwing it onto his mattress, watching as the device lands safely without rebounding onto the ground before continuing to brush his teeth.

you and akaashi went to the same university together: he was a sophmore majoring in english, while you were a freshman majoring in human physiology at the time.

you were still getting used to the campus and how to get to all your classes, and there was also the challenge of adjusting to the bustling city of tokyo since you grew up in the countryside basically your entire life. even before you moved to hyogo during your middle school years, you lived in miyagi which wasn’t too different from hyogo so you were quick to adjust to your new home.

so when you were looking for your seminar class, you didn’t realize you walked into the wrong class until the professor had called you out. you knew he didn’t mean to embarrass you since he was just doing his job, but it didn’t help that the class had over 200 people occupying the room and it seemed like all eyes were on you.

blood rushed to your cheeks as you muttered a quick apology before running out of the classroom as fast as you could.

coincidentally, akaashi had watched this scene unfold from the 10th row of the classroom and it was only when his friend had pointed it out that he realized the corners of his lips formed a smile on his face.

the university you guys attended was fairly populated so he doubted you two would ever run into each other again, but then the universe seemed to have other plans for akaashi because on one fateful day, he saw you sitting by the window at the cafe he had been going to for a while now. with his easygoing personality, akaashi was able to strike up conversation with you when he walked up to you and asked if you were the girl who walked into the wrong classroom a few days ago.

he found your flustered expression cute and from there on out you two grew closer and closer as time passed. akaashi was your rock and the person who stood by your side through thick and thin. slowly, he taught you what it meant to be loved again— but still scarred from your previous relationship with suna you weren’t sure if you could open your heart up to another, so you decided to push these feelings away and you weren’t even sure if your feelings for akaashi would be reciprocated anyways.

but you also remembered that one time (a few weeks after you met akaashi) when he introduced you to his close friend bokuto and when the energetic male had asked if you were his girlfriend, akaashi joked around and said you were but then quickly dismissed it with a wave of his hand. you didn’t think too much about it then, but when his touches on you started to linger for a second longer than it should’ve, you started to have some hope that maybe your friendship could blossom into something more.

but all of that hope suddenly came crashing down one day when you overheard his conversation with bokuto on the phone during one of your friday movie nights.

you didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but when you heard bokuto asking akaashi what his feelings for you were, you thought that maybe you could spare to be ‘asleep’ for a few more minutes. but you soon regretted your decision because anything could have been better than hearing the words ‘i could’ve never like her like that, she’s like a sister to me’ fall from his lips. and that was the moment you decided that you would never allow anybody else into your heart ever again, because it seems like every time you think that you found the right guy, you’re always left alone to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

you shuffle around a bit which alarms akaashi, but just as he is about to apologize for waking you up, he realizes that you’re still asleep and lets out a sigh of relief before noticing that a piece of hair fell over your face.

he leans in closer and brushes the stray lock out of your eyes, allowing his gaze on you to linger for a bit longer. he knows it’s wrong for him to take advantage of you like this while you’re asleep, but he can’t help but close whatever gap is left in between you two and capture your lips in for a chaste kiss. and unbeknownst to the ravenette, this action only further broke your heart and added confusion into the mix because who would kiss someone who is like a sister to them?

after that day, you took it upon yourself to set an invisible border between you and akaashi because you weren’t sure if you could handle all of these mixed signals he was sending you anymore. akaashi wasn’t blind either, he was the setter of a powerhouse school back in high school which meant he had keen observation skills, so it didn’t take him long before he realized that you were distancing yourself from him a bit more than usual. although there wasn’t a huge change in your behavior, akaashi noticed that whenever he would scoot the tiniest amount closer to you, you would always widen that distance between you two double the amount. and this upset akaashi because you were always so intent on being as close to him as possible, so why were you only drifting farther away from him?

and to this day, you managed to keep your feelings at bay and not act upon them in fear of getting rejected. you would have confronted akaashi about the kiss, but you didn’t have the guts to. you didn’t want to ruin whatever you had going on with akaashi because you read the signals wrong. who knows? maybe he got a little tipsier than usual that night and wasn’t thinking straight— that would explain why he kissed you despite his protests of you being just a friend.

you were content with your friday movie nights night where you two would snuggle up on the couch and watch a rerun of your favorite movie. and you were content with him randomly showing up to your apartment with a bag of take out in his hand because he noticed you were looking a bit more fatigued that day so he wanted to stop by and make sure you were doing okay.

so why should you be greedy and try to ask akaashi for more of him? he was already a good friend and was the one who had helped you to decide whether or not you should switch majors because human physiology had been taking a toll on your mental health.

you figured akaashi would want to focus more on his career rather than hold himself back with a girlfriend, so not wanting to put your friendship with the stoic male at risk, you opted to staying silent about your growing feelings for akaashi until those feelings would fade away into nothing more than a platonic crush.

༄ directory

༄ next: spotted in the ice cream aisle

++ A/N: i feel like there might be a little bit of confusion with this chapter so i will head straight into the explanation:

(P.S THIS IS A CHAPTER SOLELY DEDICATED TO EXPLAINING AKAASHI AND Y/N’S FRIENDSHIP) akaashi and y/n are best friends who met in university after y/n graduated fresh out of high school. they started off as friends but slowly y/n started to harbor romantic feelings towards akaashi since they started spending a lot of time together. it was only until akaashi was on the phone with bokuto that one night that y/n realized that the romantic gestures akaashi had been doing for her were only platonic because “she is like a sister to him.” and this is where things get tricky!! the only reason why akaashi said that was because y/n was sleeping on the couch and akaashi was sitting right next to her so he didn’t want to outright say “oh i have feelings for y/n” since he didn’t want to risk you actually being awake and hearing him confess his feelings to you indirectly. so this is where things also get confusing for y/n because even though she heard akaashi say that she was just a friend with her own ears, he keeps giving her mixed signals by doing stuff a boyfriend would do. time skip to present time: akaashi and y/n are still best friends and y/n is able to act normal around him since her feelings for him finally died down (but she still has some lingering feelings for him) whereas akaashi.... we’ll get to him later because this can serve as a potential catalyst for angst in the future hehehehe....

+ also this whole thing correlates to the first chapter where y/n and her friend group are introduced because she mentioned how she “wasn’t ready for any one other than herself to hold her heart” and that applies to suna and akaashi because first of all: she was heartbroken after finding out that suna cheated on her with her best friend so anyone would be traumatized by that. and second of all: even though akaashi and her aren’t necessarily ‘together’ she still got heartbroken because he was the only other guy she ever liked in her life and she got rejected before she could even confess. so that’s why y/n is so defensive about the ordeal kuroo got her into because she’s just scared of getting hurt again :((

++ and also they are no longer in university since they both graduated already and are very responsible (cough) working adults :)) so most of the scenes in this chapter are things that happened while they were students which explains why y/n is able to not be as cautious around akaashi anymore since a lot of time has passed since then

TAGLIST :

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