#not to mention causing that same girl inner turmoil for years since she also had a crush on him

[moss-the-irishman]

I can’t quite seem to decide whether I feel bad for Luke Castellan or hate him with every single cell of my living being

[persepholline]

I've read that article about the romanticization of the Darkling and while I absolutely understand people who are pissed off/sad and I agree that it's shitty, I find LB's attitude towards Darkles stans very funny in a "girl what are you doing" sort of way because it's so petty like I've never heard of a bestselling author writing a portion of their fans into their books as a crazy cult before, it clearly hit a nerve

I'm new to the fandom but the feeling I get is she wrote something problematic ten years ago and became very embarrassed about it afterwards so she turned on the fans that liked it as a way to absolve herself. Especially since fandoms in general have become a lot more focused on discussion of what constitutes healthy/acceptable relationships to write about. And in a way I get it I had a huge Twilight phase in high school and afterwards I was super embarassed about it because of how problematic and cringe it was. But now with distance and more maturity I'm able to both still see why it was problematic and also why I was drawn to it (mostly the very unhinged representation of female desire) and like...it's really not the end of the world and no it never made me believe that breaking into somebody's room at night to watch them sleep was actually ok in real life lmao. This feels so obvious to me but apparently it needs to be said.

(More under the break this is turning into an essay, I've been thinking of this a lot recently)

And of course it's good to have these discussions about how historically romance tropes have echoed social dynamics of men's shitty behavior being romanticized and excused. But these days they often are so simplistic and focused on chasing clout that they become this weird new puritanism and moral panic about oh now women are reading novels it's going to make them hysterical or something

So you have these weird assumptions that you can't like a character and also be critical of their actions, or enjoy certain parts of a character and not others, or wish they were written differently and like them more for their potential (which I'm sure stings a bit for an author lol) - it assumes that if you like a character it means you would approve of their actions in real life, or that people just stupidly reproduce whatever they see on TV. That tendency to treat fictional characters like real people is the thing that actually worries me, to be honest, because it indicates a lack of distance and critical capacities regarding how stories are used and received. But people - fans and authors - are so scared of being called out as problematic and harassed for it that they're going to shy away from any nuance.

And yeah I think that it's good that standards of what constitutes an ideal relationship are evolving and becoming more feminist and communicative and all that and we definitely need more of that. But not all fiction has to be aspirational! Sometimes you just want to read about fucked up shit, because it's cathartic or fascinating, even healing at times because with fiction you are absolutely in control and can choose when to close the book. Toxic relationships in fiction can have an appeal specifically because they go to extremes of feeling that we don't want to go to in reality, in exactly the same way as horror movies or very violent action movies - which I don't see a lot of people besides fundamentalist Christians argue that they turn you into violent psychopaths (and that feels very obviously sexist). And for women, who are often taught growing up that love is the purpose of life, the "saving someone with your ability to love" can be a power fantasy in the same way that being a buff superhero who saves the day with their capacity for incredible violence can be a power fantasy for men. Still doesn't mean those women are going to fall in love with actual murderers or that those men are going to start beating up people at night. And love is scary, and weird, and weirdly close to horror at times, with all the potential for loss of self and being vulnerable and overwhelming feelings and potential for being horribly hurt and it should be possible for stories to explore that without anybody screaming about how this is going to Corrupt the Youth or something

And I mean I get it LB wanted to write a cautionary tale for teenagers, but it just did not work for reasons a lot of people have already written about - the fact that the Darkling is the leader of an oppressed minority and is the only one with a real political agenda to end that oppression in the first trilogy, the fact that he helps Alina come into her own power while her endgame LI is someone she keeps herself small for, that she's shamed for wanting power after growing up without any, a generally very wonky conception of privilege, and a lot of other stuff with yucky regressive implications to the point where stanning the villain actually feels liberating and empowering which is a surefire sign that the narrative is broken (unless it's a villain focused story lmao). But of course that Fanside article makes almost no mention of the political dynamics, it's all about interpersonal stuff which is an annoying trend in YA, there are those massive events happening in the background but it's made all about the feelings of the hero(ine) ; war as a self-development quest (which is kind of gross). Helnik is kind of an example of this too - I like them, I think they're fun ! But Matthias spends a big part of the story wanting to brutally murder Nina and her kind, and he mostly changes his mind because he finds her hot. Like you don't feel there is some sort of big revelation that his entire moral system and political framework is completely rotten ; it's all better because of feelings now.

As a teenager that kind of sanctimonious bullshit would have annoyed the hell out of me ; I read those books in my early twenties and I found the ending so stupid I wouldn't have trusted any message or life lessons coming from them. And I liked reading/watching dark stuff as a teenager, as a way to deal with the very intense inner turmoil I was dealing with - and I turned out fine ! Meanwhile I've seen several times women in very shitty relationships being obsessed with positive energies and stories ; they were so terrified of their life not being perfectly wholesome they ended up being delusional about their own situations.

Like personally I think the Darkling is a compelling, interesting, alluring character and also a manipulative, murderous piece of shit and that Alina should get to punish him (like in a sexy way) - but he's also the end result of centuries of war, oppression and trauma and reducing that to "toxic wounded boy" feels kind of offensive ngl ESPECIALLY since the books don't offer any kind of systemic analysis or response to oppression beyond "the bad guy should die" and "now the king/queen is a good guy our problems are solved!!!!"

In Lives of the Saints, we see how Yuri is abused extremely badly and almost killed by his father, and so when his father dies when the Fold swallows Novokribirsk, he thinks the Starless Saint has saved him. Later in KoS/RoW he's turned into this fanatic who explains away all the Darkling's crimes. The other followers talk about how the Starless Saint will bring equality for all men. Then the Darkling comes back and actually thinks his followers are pathetic, which feels again like a very pointed message to his IRL stans. Which is absolutely hilarious to me. Like oh no, if he was real he would not like you and think you're pathetic ! Yeah ...but he's not. Real. Damn right he would not like the fics where Alina puts him on a leash. I'm still going to read them. What is he going to do about it, jump out of the page ? Jfjfjjdhfgfjfj

Anyway I think the intended message is "assholes will use noble political causes for their own gain and to manipulate people" and "being abused/oppressed is not an excuse to behave badly." Which. Sure. But that's kind of like...a tired take, honestly ? A big number of villains nowadays are like this ; either they've been bullied as kids, or they're part of an oppressed group, or they have "good ideals but too extreme". This is not surprising because a lot of mainstream heroic narratives present clinging to the status quo as Good and change as chaotic and dangerous. And like sure in real life people often do bad shit because they're wounded and in danger. But if you want to do a story like that, you have to do it with nuance, talk about cycles of violence, about how society creates vulnerable people to be exploited, about how privilege gives you more choices and the luxury of morals, etc. The Grishaverse does not have this level of nuance (maybe in SoC a little bit but definitely not in TGT). So it kind of comes off as "trauma makes you evil" and "egalitarianism is dangerous" and "if you're abused/oppressed you're not allowed to fight back". And ignores the fact that historically, evil generally comes from unchecked privilege.

I guess my point is that there are many things I like about LB's writing, she knows how to create these really exciting character dynamics, and the world she has created is fascinating. But these stories are not a great starting point for imparting moral lessons. And her best characters tend to be, at least in canon, the morally grey ones. I hope one day she'll be at peace with the fact that she wrote the Darkling the way she did and leave his fans alone but in the meantime I'm just not going to take this whole thing seriously I'm sorry

[givemethatgold]

Fix’er Upper Pt 2

Pairing: Eventual Frankie “Catfish” Morales x F!Reader

Length: 1.5k words

Warnings: Too many commas, some extra ‘u’s in words as I’m Canadian..., not enough time spent world building. Hope y’all got an imagination.

Notes: They meet! They meet!  (Tags at the end.)

PART ONE

The morning sun saw Frankie already awake and amidst his trees. He knew that most people thought him stubborn by wanting to run his little orchard himself. He had heard the whispers, seen the side glances, the quirked eyebrows. The odd reputation he was gaining was worth the solitude and peace he had found.

The reputation of Town Recluse was better than That Ex-Cokehead Murderer. A small part of his brain knew that he was being too hard on himself but a larger part was convinced he deserved it. 

So, he worked his penance here. Frankie nursed the trees back to fruition, his sweat and blood sacrificed to bring forth life; refusing to use pesticides or any form of agent that might harm another living thing. Deer, rabbits, mice, and bugs were the bane of a harvester’s business but Frank had decided to find joy in their presence. If he didn’t have to see another death until his own, that would still be too soon.

It had taken him three years to get anything more than a few barrels of apples. Most asked why he didn’t just cut them all down and start anew. They didn’t understand, hell he barely did, but in his soul, Frankie knew he needed to prove that he could do good. He had made his own baskets, built sheds, mended fences, and slowly built the business and a small loft for himself in the old barn.

Looking down the rows and rows of trees, Frankie was starting to get the feeling he might need help this harvest season. It wasn’t easy for him to acknowledge this but if he didn’t get at least one helping hand, more than a few bin-fulls would go to waste. Frankie decided he would put up a flyer on the notice board the next time he went to town and pray that only quiet people would apply.

The trees were his pride and joy. A variety that had been lost and forgotten until he had bought the aging orchard and a man named Tom Brown had come along asking about the fruit.

He felt at peace when he worked as it let his mind focus on the job at hand and was tired enough to slip into a deep slumber at night. Previously plagued by nightmares, long days of pruning, fixing, or working in the mill proved the cure for a dreamless sleep.

“I’m sorry, how much did you say the total was?” you asked while rapidly trying to do some math in your head. If you purchased everything you needed at the hardware store that would only leave you forty-seven dollars left in this week’s budget. And it was only Monday. “Ermm, on second thought, I don’t know if I really need the plaster and trowel just yet. I’ll just take the drywall and screws, please.”

Leaving the store, head down, you were feeling like such an ass you didn’t even notice the two older ladies watching your exit and whispering madly to each other. The owner of Hank’s Hardware, whose name was oddly Allan, kindly helped you pile the drywall into your truck box. You were too busy with the tie-downs to notice him join in on the developing whispered plot.

Unable to resist, you purchased a bouquet of sunflowers. They were your favourite and, once you mentioned that you were new in town, the sweet older gentleman selling them gave you an extra bunch for free. The bright flowers lightened your heart enough to almost, almost, make you forget your even lighter wallet. 

The laden-down truck was nearly out of town when you spotted an open-air market down a side street. It had a surprising number of booths set up and looked so welcoming that you couldn’t resist.

Slowly walking between the stalls, you smiled at each vendor and complimented their handiwork. A few you recognized and thanked for the delicious foods they had brought by when you had first moved in.

You wished you could have supported more of the vendors, you respected their ability to create and be confident enough to share their wares. Taking one last look around, your gaze was caught by a familiar logo: it was the same one you had seen scattered across your porch a few weeks ago. ‘Catfish Cider’ in bold script framing a picture of a gnarled old tree. Maybe you should buy some and have Jacquie over for a less depressing girl's night? But could you afford it, even with leaving behind some of the reno items at Hank's?

You didn’t realize how long you had been standing there staring at the display until a voice called out.

“You gonna buy something or just wanted to block off my stand?”

Whipping your head up you noticed the man standing behind the stand for the first time. His face, for the moment, set into a grimace you assumed was due to him being upset at your loitering.

“I dunno,” you fired back, annoyed by his annoyance and too tired to stop yourself from saying a bratty, “is it actually worth the money?” 

His grimace turned into eyebrow-raising shock, the tan skin of his rather attractive face reddening a shade or two with anger.

“Oh, you have such a discerning pallet to know better?”

“I- what? No! I just want to make sure I’m spending my money on something worthwhile.”

“Like flowers?” He challenged, his stance widening and arms crossing across his chest. 

You’d seen that pose too many times in the past; Brad used to tower over you posturing himself just like this asshole at the market. He liked to hover over you menacingly any time you had mustered up your courage to state an opinion or to belittle your ideas. It made you inwardly flinch, making you angry at yourself for still acting like a meek victim, and then, in a show of great maturity, you projected that anger onto the stranger who initiated the exchange.

“Like it’s any of your business!” You cried out in a shrill voice you didn’t even recognize as your own. “But yes, these flowers make me happier than anything else I’ve seen today could.”

“I’ll have you know-” he ground out, jabbing his finger at you.

“Nope!” You interrupted him, “I’m going to stop you right there. I’m done listening to men like you!” 

���Men like me? Men like ME?” He crowed, “Pray tell, what the hell do you know about men like me?”

Had you been acting like a functioning adult you might have realized that your voices were beginning to get noticeably loud. A small crowd around the two of you had stopped what they were doing to listen while also trying to look like there weren’t eavesdropping.

“I know all I need to,” you proclaimed, not quite able to stop the tremble in your voice. “and I’m not going to waste any more of my life listening to one.” With that, you sharply turned and made your way through the suddenly thick crowd of people.

Once the adrenaline from your encounter had worn off, you found yourself crying in your truck and regretting the way you had snapped. The hot guy at the stand might have been a bit brash with you but he hardly deserved you taking out all your inner turmoil on him like that.

Frankie winced again, thinking about how quickly out of hand the conversation had gotten. His remark was supposed to come out light and teasing but he was out of practice talking to people. Pretty people. People who were framed by armfuls of sunflowers, whose skin glowed in the Autumn sun, who had a ready smile for everyone she talked to. 

He had found himself craving one for himself, and when she had stopped at his booth, looking lost in thought, he silently begged for her to look up. Impatient, he just blurted out the first words that came to his head and instantly regretted even trying. His cheeks grew red from embarrassment and Frankie just stood there looking at her blankly, not sure how to salvage the situation.

Before he could open his mouth to apologize though, the woman responded with a retort of her own. While it could have been interpreted as teasing, there had been a fiery glint in her eye that had pushed his pride button. Frankie was suddenly ready to throw down or at least regale her with the accolades of his cider and how it came to be.

What a mess he had made. He had riled up the beautiful stranger to the point her voice had wavered with barely repressed emotion. Not to mention the stir he had caused in front of half the town.

Once the market quieted down and everyone was closing up shop, Greg from the stall next to his, called over, “Know who that was?”

Even though it had been over an hour since the spat, Frankie knew he was referring to the woman with the sunflowers.

“Hopefully just some Leaf Peeper, I’d hate to run into her again.”

“Oooooh I dunno,” mused Greg, “A woman with passion in her blood like that can be a boon to crusty old men like us.”

Frankie noticed the gleam in Greg’s eyes and felt an odd burning in his stomach because of it. It was not jealousy at the unbidden image of Greg and the woman together. Definitely not.

PART THREE

@rebelliouscat @pedro4ever @speakerforthedead0 @yespolkadotkitty @ilikechocolatemilkh @weirdowithnobeardo @pedro-pastel @disgruntledspacedad @a-skov 

[jjaeong]

The Heiress, And The Twelve. Act I.

Episode VI: To Be Deceived, Or Protected.

Series: KPOP Girl Group: 이달의 소녀 (LOONA).

Pairing: OT12 & Mafia Heiress Female Reader.

Summary: While the members residing with The Heiress in Eden managed to resolve her internal conflict about who she was and who she had deemed herself should be—Haseul, along with Sooyoung and Jinsol, discovers a certain string of information that could potentially lead to a much more greater complication than they had ever encountered before. And as Jinsol finally reconciled with Sooyoung after the incident, Hyejoo and Heejin find themselves stunned as they come across your room—realizing that something had been missing in the vicinity, with that something being you.

"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be with the members?"

Jinsol had just managed to set her foot on the top of the staircase when she met the sight of the distressed Ninth member who had lingered in the hall that led to the boss' office, pinching the bridge of her nose in clear disbelief with the disrupted idea that only she was called by Haseul for the meeting. It's been days since the Leader had regarded her request to be removed in any missions with the Seventh member, being that she was still sensitive over what had just happened with the incident—Jinsol had already been walking through thin ice with her miscalculation, but Sooyoung's projected anger towards the woman intensified when Jungeun had informed them of your order to be left alone. And as much as she was relieved that both her member, and her adoptive sister were safe—Sooyoung couldn't shake off her impression that you had not been unscathed, because physically, you and Hyejoo were well, but your order was the effect of the event which she had deemed also as her own error with being one of the Twelve.

The Seventh member, however, no matter how many times she had blamed herself for it, she had understood Sooyoung's hostility towards her and knew that it was absolutely justified—from all those years that the members had grown together, she knew well enough that the woman was as emotional as she could get, more so for the people she cared for the most. But the Seventh could only take so much, she had somewhat prepared herself for the the member's response—yet she still couldn't avoid condemning herself over it, for the most part being Sooyoung not wanting anything to do with her.

And as Sooyoung stood there, leaned back against the hall's wall with her arms crossed and her brows knitted in apparent frustration while looking the other way—Jinsol could only manage a hesitant smile as she tried her best to swallow down the bitter aura between the two of them, before directing her weary gaze towards the tall double doors at the end of the hall. Slightly taken aback by how isolated the scene had looked from their position, which meant that the Leader had not yet arrived—making Sooyoung the first person to have been called by Haseul, and Jinsol quickly becoming the second.

"Is it.. Just the two of us..?"

"She just told me to meet her here, and that she'll be arriving shortly from her visit with our guests," Sooyoung muttered, practically scoffing at the mention of the Lee Family that had been staying in the Mansion as they awaited for their Boss' recovery. The younger of the two winced at the recollection of when they'd first arrived at the infirmary with the Lee Family's Boss, and how Sooyoung raised her tone at Haseul for the first time since she'd been appointed as Acting Boss after declining Sooyoung's plea to head straight to Eden—which led to the Ninth member into defying the Leader's instruction and driving all the way to the castle, just to be pulled aside by a stone-faced Jungeun, "but you still haven't answered my question—why are you here?"

"I don't see why I shouldn't be..? Haseul did ask for me—"

"I specifically told her that I don't want to be in any operation with you right now—and for what? Suddenly she doesn't listen anymore?" Jinsol would be lying if she said that hearing those words come right out of Sooyoung's mouth didn't hurt her, she swore that when this member of theirs was mad she knew exactly how to do so—but to be on the opposite end of the woman's livid state, Jinsol had never experienced to be this ridiculed by her. The silence that had come after Sooyoung's sharp words even made the member glance at Jinsol from the corner of her eye, finding her head hanging low as she picked on her blue pin on her tie in deep contemplation—slightly irritating Sooyoung even further because the Ninth had known that the habit was common with the members since they'd acquired their pins, holding onto the object when they couldn't seem to find it in themselves to assess a situation in their own way.

"Maybe we're not on a mission as a pair, probably.. A reschedule? Change of posts? Haseul assigning you to my spot—and me with yours?" Sooyoung gripped onto the fabric of her sleeve as Jinsol began to straighten her tie, which she had done several times before looking behind her to the staircase below—as if Haseul would just magically appear out of thin air and cut through the tension between the two of them, saving them from possibly making it worse than it already was.

"That's great, maybe then Y/N wouldn't be in as much trouble as she'd be if she was under my range of security." Jinsol frowned at the malicious tone that the Ninth had suddenly switched into, making her turn to eye the member who still refused to meet the clear regret plastered all over her features—while Sooyoung continued to glare at the nothingness that had seemed to have kept her attention more than the member currently standing right in front of her.

"Sooyoung.."

"Just admit it, Jinsol—you despise her. You don't want her to be our Boss because she's nothing of what you expect her to be—it's a full circle to what happened the day we told her everything, you want her gone." Sooyoung spat as her member flinched, making Jinsol shaking her head in attempt to relay the message to Sooyoung that it was nothing of that sort.

"That's not true—I care about her just as much as you do!" the Seventh stammered, completely taken aback by how she had been suddenly accused for having felt something that she had not.

"She was in the lot! You could've prevented it even before he approached her—"

"And you think I don't go every single day thinking about that!?" Sooyoung's furious eyes snapped to connect with Jinsol's exasperated ones, the Seventh's demeanor looking as frustrated as she could get with her hands balled up into fists hanging by her sides while her eyes stayed connected with her member's, "We've never had any complications with our group since the beginning, and ever since Y/N came in the picture—it's as if the least we can do is not turn against each other."

"Oh, and that makes it her fault? Is that what you're trying to say?

"I'm trying my best to understand—alright!? I thought we can continue this Family without having her in the picture, but.." Jinsol tore her eyes away from Sooyoung's to think carefully about her next words, having an inkling that whatever she may say next would be enough to tip Sooyoung off the edge and tarnish her reputation completely—or in some sort of miracle, she'd be able to properly express what she had wanted to say, "I didn't want any of that to happen—I swear that if I could have stopped it in all the ways I've calculated it after, I would've. But it's already done, I messed up and the only thing I can do is try to make up for it with Y/N—for as long as she'll have me, and if she can't forgive me for what I've done then.."

Sooyoung lowered her eyes at Jinsol who shrugged her shoulders in defeat, sighing when she thought that the apology didn't go exactly as she'd expect it to be. She'd thought that once she laid her heart out, it'd go as smoothly and sincerely as she'd thought—but instead, she felt that the reason for Sooyoung's silence was that she had taken her words in the complete opposite. Her words being taken under the impression that she was over it, that she didn't care as much as she said she did—causing the gap between her and the members that had your well-being as the priority to broaden, when she had just warmed up to the idea that she had wanted the same thing as well.

The Ninth member eyed the struggling woman in front of her, it was clear that Jinsol was incessantly thinking through what she had just told her and continuously trying to criticize her choices of wording—but as much as Sooyoung hated the thought that had led her into blaming Jinsol for what had happened, the greater part of her that believes that the members would never do each other wrong was pushing past her projected anger. This wasn't them against a common enemy anymore, this was Sooyoung's protectiveness over you—against her protectiveness over her members, but instead of it mostly being directed towards the Lee Family's Boss, she had Jinsol to blame. And that was what caused her inner turmoil, Jinsol is her member and a member that had been one of the reasons that put you and Hyejoo in danger—but Jinsol was just as much as a member as the others, yet there Sooyoung stood, continuously reminding her that she had messed up and she needs to feel the consequences of her ignorance.

Sooyoung then realized that Jinsol had already been going through the motions just as she'd been, and it was unfair of how she was quick to blame her for it—when Sooyoung had no idea about what was about to come until Hyunjin had some sort of vision.

"Well—apologize to her, not me," Jinsol practically choked at Sooyoung's mumbled response, feeling the weight of her worries fall off her shoulders as she watched Sooyoung shake her head at her and detach herself from the wall—slipping a hand into the pocket of her dress pants as she placed the other to her neck, craning it as if to stretch in exhaustion. The member still had a pout set on her lips but her brows were anything but furrowed, just looking drained from the encounter—while Jinsol slowly started to fall apart in her position, "you can start by how you acted in our living room, then with whatever happened with the Lee Boss. She's not the type to hold a grudge, you know—yah! Jung Jinsol, get off me—"

"I thought you'd never forgive me! I apologized so many times and you were never this mad—"

"Let go!" Jinsol continued to wail as Sooyoung's pout threatened to stretch into a grin while she tried to pry the member's arms off her, opening her mouth to start threatening the Seventh. But just as she was about to, light footsteps started echoing from the steps behind Jinsol and soon after revealed an absorbed looking Haseul—which had seemed to be caught off guard at the sight as she blinked at the two who just froze in their spot and stared right back at her, Haseul's eyes softened only for a moment before they dimmed yet again.

Looking away from the two, Haseul motioned over to the end of the hall before starting to make her way past them.

"You've made up, good. Follow me." the youngest of the three started to walk down the halls, which made Jinsol release Sooyoung from her hold before they both hurried to trail behind the Leader—eyeing each other in question about what had the member in such state, Sooyoung could only hope that it was just something connected to the Lee Boss and nothing more.

As Haseul pulled the key out of her pocket, Sooyoung had remembered that the last time all twelve of them were inside the office was when Haseul had first sat herself into the Boss' chair—how she carefully laid out what specific orders the previous Boss stated before he had passed, and how they would slowly but surely make sure you were well acquainted with a few members. Haseul also swore that it would also be the last time that she were to set foot inside of the office, not finding it comfortable how she would occupy the room as if it were her own when her purpose was to have you settled into your rightful place.

And as if Jinsol could hear Sooyoung's thoughts coursing through her, they could only wonder how much trouble the Family had caught themselves into for Haseul to break her own word.

"Shut the doors behind you, I've asked to keep this floor vacated until one of us leaves the room." Jinsol quickly turned to shut the doors behind them as Sooyoung followed behind the Leader to stand in the middle of the room while Haseul circled behind the desk to open one of it's emptied drawers, reaching far into the compartment as if rummaging to find anything that had not been in there in the first place.

"Are you looking for something?" Jinsol question as she stood beside Sooyoung who eyed the Leader suspiciously, the two watching Haseul shut the drawer to then move to another.

"What are you even doing, Haseul?" the light sound of a click echoed through the spacious, and moonlit office that had Haseul tensing up on her spot. Jinsol made a move to approach to the woman and lend her a hand but Sooyoung grabbed ahold of her arm before she could even do anything, the two members carefully watching as Haseul pulled out what seemed to be a thick stack of papers—jaw clenched while she placed them on the desk before looking up the puzzled expression on her members' features.

"Lee Seokmin has returned to his conscious state today, he refused to speak with the doctors and requested to speak with the one he perceived as the Family's Boss. And so I paid him a visit," Haseul shut the drawer to fully grab the stack from the desk, eyeing the papers before walking over to the two and meeting them in the middle of the room, "he was convinced that I was Y/N, stating that he couldn't believe that the previous Boss' plan worked—how he kept the Heiress safe by letting her live a normal life outside of the Family, all while being protected from the other Families."

Jinsol paled as Sooyoung let go of her arm, eyes widening in alarm while Haseul stood in front of them with a vacant expression on her face.

"He asked me if I knew about it, when I found out about it—confessing that he knew about the documentation because he had overheard it once from the Jeon Family that the Heiress was being watched."

"We were watching over her, but I thought the documents were supposed to be discarded after the Boss' passing?" Jinsol barely questioned as her voice failed her, switching her eyes from Haseul to Sooyoung who could only look at Jinsol with wide eyes as well.

"It was, I saw through with it. Haseul, Vivi-unnie and I were the ones present when it was erased."

"He wasn't talking about our documents, he was talking about this." Haseul motioned to the papers in her hand, it didn't take too long of the three to stare at each other before Sooyoung reached over to grab the papers and start inspecting each and every page—feeling lightheaded at the information that she had read from it, how as if every page she had skimmed through just continued to reveal a deeper story behind the minimal observation reports that they had set for you.

The papers dated back up to four years prior to the previous Boss' passing, several pictures of you, Jungeun, and Jiwoo were practically on each page of the stack—the lightest conversations, passed homework, your every move was typed down as if they were studying not a living human being but a test subject. Through the documentation, it seemed as if you weren't the Y/L/N Y/N that the members had made a point on learning to care for and to believe that you'd lead them into a better future—but rather a statistic in which would demonstrate if you were fit in becoming a Boss for the highest ranking Family there ever was, and ever will be if you had truly had what it takes.

Whoever had created this document, only had that particular version of the Heiress in mind—and it made Sooyoung feel sick to her stomach.

"Who.. did this? How did you even know this exists!?" Sooyoung's voice started to raise as she looked up at the torn expression on Haseul's face, making Jinsol take a step in between the two to try and calm the Ninth member down while also turning to glance at the Leader behind her—but as Sooyoung started to prod Haseul with questions while waving the papers in her hand, Haseul swallowed sharply before looking up to meet the the concerned look on Jinsol's face.

"I didn't."

Haseul's words echoed in Sooyoung's head, and before she knew it—she had let the papers fall onto the ground, pushed past Jinsol to reach for Haseul's collar to aggressively grab ahold of her. However, Jinsol was quick to recover after staggering back—attempting to pry Sooyoung off of the Third member by wrapping an arm around the Ninth's waist and tugging her off the Leader.

"You—you're our Leader! You can't just tell us you have no clue! our lives are dependent on your choices—and you have the audacity to tell us you don't know!?"

"I thought I had properly vacated this room after we all left—that was the last time I've been here, it was all the previous Boss had instructed me.." Haseul barely whispered, crumbling under Sooyoung's hold to the point that it was the member that had been keeping her up on her feet—making Sooyoung snap out of her fuming state to watch the dread sink into her member's features, "he told me where everything was, the archives we needed—I thought he told me everything I needed to know, I was appointed Leader for this."

"Sooyoung, she doesn't know." Jinsol dragged out slowly as she loosened her grip over her member, walking towards Haseul and prying the Ninth's hands off completely from the Leader—all while keeping Haseul up on her feet by wrapping an arm around her shoulder, leading her to the desk so she had a place to lean on.

"The Twelve, Y/L/N Y/N—that's all I know, you have to believe me."

"We do, Haseul—Sooyoung's just in shock, we'll figure this whole thing out. Right, Ha Sooyoung?" the Ninth continued to stare at the two, absolutely mortified that they were currently easing themselves into uncharted waters—completely unknowing of what would come, but only to prepare themselves for whatever it may be. Sooyoung caught Jinsol switching her gaze from Haseul to the papers on the ground, the Seventh seemingly the more composed member out of the two—and as if moving completely out of practice, Sooyoung bended over to grab the papers and walk over to Jinsol to hand it to her.

"What do you suggest we do?" Jinsol's eyes widened at the blank, yet expectant look that Sooyoung held as she offered her the papers—glancing at Haseul who had now held onto the desk as if her life had depended on it, before she caught onto what exactly it was that Sooyoung was trying convey. With Haseul's Leadership position becoming nothing of aid to the members as of her current state, Sooyoung wanted them to work it out as a group instead of letting the woman carry all of this on her own. So Jinsol grabbed the papers from her hand, eyeing the front page and skipping to the last as she followed her gut—having a relieved sigh escaped her lips as she pointed a finger at the signed letter 'R' initial at the end of the page, it's ink shining under the moonlight while she directed it to Sooyoung's view.

"We can start by tracking whoever this is?"

"Alright." Jinsol gave Sooyoung a small, yet grateful smile before looking back down to scan the papers while Sooyoung turned to Haseul who sat still on the desk—completely frozen as she tried to recall every bit of information that the previous Boss had passed onto her, fingers gripping tightly onto the pin on her tie. The Ninth member reached over to place an consoling hand on the Leader's shoulder, halting mid-way but somehow going through with it—which made Haseul visibly tense but when she had found that it was Sooyoung from her peripheral vision, she just looked back down to return into her state of recollection.

"I shouldn't have lashed out, Haseul. I'm sorry."

"You have every right to be mad, I'm the appointed Leader and I can't even uphold a simple task. Even I'd be mad at myself." Jinsol snorted from behind her which made Sooyoung glance at the member, finding Jinsol eyeing Haseul from the side before flipping another page from the stack.

"You mean tracking down this profiler from just one initial? Haseul—you can't even find the right curtains to hang inside your room without Yerim." Sooyoung's lips broke into a grin which made Jinsol release a laugh, making the Leader turn to look at her members who were now laughing amongst themselves as they eyed the paper in Jinsol's hands. Haseul then looked up to find Sooyoung's careful eyes directed on her, the member giving Haseul a determined look in contrast to the Leader's downcast expression.

"You might be the Leader, but we are a team, Haseul. We'll get through this mess, with or without the previous Boss' help." Haseul tore her eyes away from Sooyoung to look back at Jinsol's thoughtful expression as the member continued to inspect the page—until she found Haseul watching her, so she gave her an encouraging look before raising a fist in the air.

"Damn right we are! Fighting!"

"If you use that language in front of Y/N—I swear, Jung Jinsol—"

"Your sister is a year away from graduating High School—she's old enough to know if cussing is bad or not."

"You don't tell me how to raise my sister!"

"She's our future Boss! She can decide that for herself!" Sooyoung placed her hands on her hips as she continued to banter with Jinsol as the member continued with her task, the two completely back to the way before their feud—while Haseul watched them silently, feeling the anguish of her assumed failure as a Leader slowly dissipate as Jinsol and Sooyoung continued on. The interaction had somehow eased the Third member's worries, the sight reminding her that no matter what happened—they were still the Twelve, and with that, the world would still be turning for as long as they'd stay like this after whatever may cross their path.

"Until we've figured out who this person is, be that they're in this Family preparing for another coup—or from outside, this stays between the three of us," Haseul stated, making Jinsol's look up to clearly try and object but one pleading look from Haseul—she had known that her intentions were nothing but for their safety, "please, the more people that know about this—the harder it will be to find them. One word about this from anyone but us.."

"They'll know we're onto them—got it."

"But what do we do about Lee Seokmin and his members?" Sooyoung crossed her arms on her chest as Haseul turned to look at her, more composed than a few moments ago.

"They'll be returning to the village that Jeon passed onto them in a few days, I made sure that he didn't recognize that I wasn't the Heiress he was talking about. All he can pass to whoever he pleases is that the Y/L/N Family's Heiress is back in her rightful place." Haseul concluded as Sooyoung released a heavy sigh, looking at Jinsol yet again but this time—Jinsol had lingered over one specific page.

"What is it?" Sooyoung leaned over to check at what the member was staring at, which made Haseul completely turn to peek as well when Jinsol practically gripped onto the stack in worry.

"From the beginning of the document, they never mentioned any names—they even labelled Jiwoo and Jungeun as Upperclassmen A, and Upperclassmen B," Jinsol placed a finger on a specific sentence on the paper before looking up at Haseul and Sooyoung, "'4:35PM: The Heiress returns home. Property under the name of 'Ha', a civilian household consisting of two adults and three daughters.'"

"Don't tell me—"

"Who ever this 'R' person is—they know exactly which one of us is the Heiress."

Hyejoo had just shut the door to Jungeun's empty room, signalling the end of her morning rounds which consisted of surveying the vacated rooms of the members that typically headed to school approximately two hours before her—when she had realized that today marked the fifth day since the incident, which made it Wednesday. And Wednesdays were different, because in that specific day Yeojin and Yerim would accompany Jungeun and Jiwoo for early morning Student Council. With Yerim being the President of her class, and Yeojin being her own—Jungeun had briefly talked the two into either occupying their roles once they've graduated, or at least being part of it.

The two Maknaes were quick to take her up for it, being that they had fit the credentials well—they'd agree without a doubt, but that had meant that every Wednesday, Hyejoo would only have to drive her and Chaewon to class. And it wasn't that she wasn't on good terms with her Gowon-unnie, it was quite the opposite—because every Wednesday morning would be Chaewon asking Hyejoo about how she's been, and how she had felt about whatever had happened the days before. Somehow, it had slightly bothered Hyejoo that she had always started off their conversation in that manner since Yeojin and Yerim rode with the two Unnies—but the ride had seemed to grow on her once she realized that the Eleventh member wasn't shooting up a conversation to fill the silence, but to genuinely ask Hyejoo how she's been.

Park Chaewon had surprisingly seemed to have understood her even in that alley, which was something that goes over Hyejoo's head sometimes.

The Twelfth's eyes seamlessly connected with your door in the middle of the hall as the recollection of the alley felt similar to what happened that day, and being that only room in that specific hall was only occupied by you—with Haseul, Sooyoung, Jinsol, and Kahei being everywhere at once, the closest member that could reach you incase of an emergency was Jungeun, because her room was the closest to yours. Hyejoo started to make her way to your room almost subconciously to check up on you when she was met by the unusual sight of Jeon Heejin who was never usually awake this early in the morning, already dressed in her uniform—glowing as if she'd just awakened to the greatest sleep she's ever had, her eyes even widening in surprise as she found Hyejoo coming from the other end of the hall.

"Son Hyejoo! Good morning!" Heejin waved enthusiastically with both hands outstretched, making the Maknae scrunch her nose up in distaste as Heejin grinned adoringly—eyes turning into crescents while she continued to her venture into your room, the sound of her footsteps lightly decreasing as she neared. The First member carefully twisted the handle to peek into your room, her smile impossibly widening as she expected to be greeted by the sight of you laying on your side with Jeon Stitchie and Hyunjin's Shiba Inu—only for her to squint her eyes through the darkness to find the two stuffed toys but not even the top of your head revealing from the covers in sight.

"Y/N-ah~?" Hyejoo heard Heejin call from her position, slightly peeking through the door frame, making the Twelfth member furrow her brows and stand behind the member just as she had flipped the light switch on—illuminating the empty room before walking inside and making her way over to the door that lead to your bathroom, pushing it open to find it unoccupied as well. Heejin continued to scan the room, even getting down on her knees by your bed to check if you were under it as Hyejoo stayed put by your door—watching her Unnie's puzzled features slowly turn into concern just as she saw someone approaching by her peripheral vision, she turned to find an equally confused Chaewon standing next to her before the Eleventh turned to her.

"Have you seen Vivi-unnie?"

"Did you just come from the Surveillance room?" Hyejoo questioned in reply, but before Chaewon could even get a word out—Kahei appeared from the end of the hall, seemingly reading a book while doing her rounds as she donned her reading glasses. Heejin had managed to slide past the two members just as Kahei was about to walk past them, making the woman look up from her book to eye the startled trio in wonder.

"What's with all the worried looks? Did something happen?" Kahei asked softly, making Hyejoo and Chaewon exchange glances while Heejin looked at your empty room before looking back at Kahei.

"Unnie, Y/N's not in her room." Heejin stated in a tone that had slowly started to reflect her dismay, but as Kahei tilted her head at the three something flashed in her eyes before she stared directly at Heejin—as if she should've known.

"Of course she isn't, she already left with Jungeun and Jiwoo. Why? Is there something I should be worried about?" Hyejoo's eyes widened in surprise as Heejin mouth popped open at Kahei's nonchalant reply, Chaewon was the only one of the three who had managed to not be surprised—considering that she had been looking for the Fifth member to ask why she had been the one to send you and the other members off as she watched a replay of the cameras just as she had woke up.

"You let her go, just like that?"

"I didn't see a problem with it—she had me convinced, afterall," Chaewon raised a brow at Kahei, to which the member only smiled at before walking past the bewildered Heejin and Hyejoo and return to reading her book as she walked down the hall, "Heejin, it must be some miracle that you woke up before Hyunjin—but if you don't wake her up you'll both be late to class. You two should start getting ready as well, Hyejoo, Chaewon."

The three members watched as Kahei disappeared from the hallway, turning to face each other briefly before hastily doing as the member had told. Heejin switched the lights off and shut the door before speed-walking down the hall to Hyunjin's room—pounding her fist against the door the second she reached it and tugging on the handle as she followed by calling her member's name. On the other side of the door, Hyunjin had already been awake, she was just about ready to leave—all she needed was to attach her pin onto her tie which she had quickly finished, so she grabbed her bag from her desk to pull the door open and roll her eyes at the sight of her aggrievated best friend.

"I get it—you woke up before me for the first time in years, you don't have to shove it to my face." Hyunjin pushed past Heejin who was trying to catch her breath, breathing in deeply before stopping Hyunjin dead on her tracks with what she was just about to say.

"Y/N isn't in her room—she left with Jungeun-unnie and Jiwoo-unnie to school!"

"..She what?"

Greetings,

I hope this message finds you well—sike with the formalities, it's a tumblr post, there's no need for that. But what this Author's Note actually needs is.. An apology (even though I came clear with you all if you've read through the first chapter to not be too attached with this story) because it's been over two months since my last story update!

But in all honesty, I'm not even sure if it had actually been two months or.. A month and a few days—but still! Am I back? Maybe~ What could JJ have been possibly doing to go MIA for this long? Real life stuff, but mostly the overwhelming feeling of Orbit twitter that's.. Something, a true bit of love and hate between that.

It's actually funny how many Episode VI's I've wrote before properly settling with this one, the first draft had too many new characters involved (spoilers for who they are? I'm sure if you've read a few LOONA fics—it's just in between those lines), the second and nth were all too messy—and so there's this one! I think it's a nice turn, considering that this is the half of Act I. and I literally just wrote this in one go again, I really can't believe myself at this point.

Though I think most of our new readers that are following this blog is more into the OS spectrum—so I should maybe start leaving posts? Like.. Talk? But it's not really my thing, having posts up but it's just me talking about God knows what—I don't really know how to feel about it.

I'm getting way over ahead of myself again, so yeah. I truly hope you guys are doing well out there, what's happening outside of these social media platforms is absolutely petrifying—I made this blog as an outlet to express how much I love the girls but you can't escape the crippling truth that is reality itself. This world is unforgiving even to those who had never done anything drastically wrong, and for a writer to not have the proper words to express how they truly feel about what's happening around them.. Please take care of yourselves, and I'm sorry for not being able to find the right words for this.

Laters,

JJ.

>ovc: loonatheworld (200316).

https://youtu.be/U5z35vxC9bs

[hopetofantasy]

Culture, parallels & meta - S3 E2

Zaterdag 10:21

That’s character: In this scene, they’re again establishing some of Robbe’s insecurities. We already know from previous seasons that he often feels like the third wheel, keeps to himself, lets people walk all over him or apologizes a lot, so that they don’t hate him or abandon him (like his dad did). But this scene takes it even further: he doesn’t want to be a burden. Not with stuff like his friend’s party mess, so he cleans up as early and fast as he can. Not with taking food that doesn’t belong to him, so he chooses to not eat anything instead. 

Perfect parallel: Zoë mentioning “Especially the pasta” in this season, because Milan stole her pasta at the beginning of hers.

Surprise bitch, guess who? Milan’s one-nightstand appears to be ‘Georgy Chtchevaev’, a close friend of Jonathan Michiels (Viktor) and other cast members. Small, small world.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe’s expression at the end reveals how he longs for something like Milan has, but then realizes he might never have/want that. (Internalized homophobia is a bitch, y’all!)

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The guy pulls out strawberry yoghurt from ‘Colruyt’ out of an almost empty fridge along with a spoon, from the cutlery drawer. Robbe’s gaze keeps lingering a tad too long on the half naked boy in their kitchen.

°

Zaterdag 14:43

C is for culture: 

“Hey, I’m working here” - Teens are allowed to get a student job, as long as they’re at least 15 years old and completed the first two years of high school. The rules around how often they may work, has changed a lot during the last decade. However, nowadays, they’re allowed to work at a lower social security tariff as long as they don’t go over 475 working hours per year. Otherwise, they’ll have to pay the normal amount or even taxes if they surpass a certain income limit.

“No, I was just shopping” - C&A (Clemens & August Brenninkmeijer) is a Dutch chain store of origin with approx. 1,500 stores in Europe. They mostly attract older generations, as their style is seen as a bit old-fashioned and classic. That’s why their popularity significantly dropped in recent years, causing closures in some cities. - A smart move of putting product placement in a youth tv series.

Perfect parallel: 

Robbe pulling a t-shirt off the rack to get Noor’s attention in this episode, him using the same tactic with a sweater in the last episode.

Noor sitting on a reluctant Robbe’s lap to kiss him here, Robbe happily straddling Sander to kiss and talk later on.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe again faking that he likes Noor’s sexual advances.

Lost in translation: Robbe’s mom texting him “Ziet ge mij niet graag?”, which could literally be interpreted as “Don’t you want to see me?”, but in this context it actually means “Don’t you love me anymore?”.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: In case you didn’t catch it, Robbe is making a double joke with the t-shirt - saying that Noor is sexy as well as repeating the song on the store radio. Jana’s look at a disheveled Noor reveals that she knew Robbe wasn’t just ‘trying something on’.

Bonus: This season uses a lot of mirrors to reflect Robbe’s emotions and inner turmoil. Even his relationships with Noor and Sander are mirrored within the season itself: he never liked what Noor did for him (waiting outside the school, making out in public, going next level) and he was amazed at Sander doing the same. Mirrors are the perfect way of showing how Robbe has two faces: his ‘straight’ public persona and his struggling inner ‘gay’ self.

°

Zondag 19:59

That’s character: Zoë’s mom behavior is at full force here. When she spots her friends, roommates or boyfriend in difficult situations, she jumps to the opportunity to make them feel better. She instantly defends them, provides a shoulder to cry on, gives advice, feeds them when needed, tries to figure out what they’re feeling, ... Sometimes giving some tough loving too. Zoë just has that caring nature of her own. This probably stems from the fact that she missed out on parental figures and wants to feel needed as a compensation.

Perfect parallel:

Symbolism! Robbe walking away from his mom’s room in a cold-looking hallway, because he’s not comfortable (yet) with the situation. And him walking towards Sander’s room in a warmly lit hallway, since he’s at peace with what’s happening with his love.

Zoë asking Milan if he’s “Playing hard to get?” in this situation, Milan asking Robbe if his clothes say “Hard to get or playing hard to get?” later.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe analyses what Milan is doing with his partner, not really sure how to feel about it.

Nod to the OG: Zoë stating “The only thing you can do now is just be there for her and yes, that you have to wait”, sounds oddly familiar to the minute-for-minute speech by Sonja.

Funny coincidence: Milan making out heavily with his boy in front of Robbe and his salad, might look like a nod to the ‘Right in front of my salad’ meme.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Robbe’s other (thicker) coat is hanging on a hook in the hallway. Senne’s “If I had have known that, I would have tried harder” indicates that he probably had to retake a year in high school, because otherwise he’d been a student in uni earlier on. 

°

Maandag 16:27

C is for culture: “Kwak en Boemel kwamen binnen” (= “Kwak and Boemel entered”) - Robbe is referring to two side characters in the Belgian comic books ‘Jommeke’, who are homeless, lowlife criminals. The main protagonist in the series is the 11-year-old boy ‘Jommeke’. He is clever, honest, brave, loves adventure and is recognizable by his distinct blonde bowl cut. It’s one of the best-selling strips in Flanders, besides ‘Suske and Wiske’. 

Perfect parallel: Jens’ first time suggesting toothpaste to jerk off happens here in S3, but he repeats it again during wtFOCKDOWN. 

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: The boys questioning why Robbe didn’t go all-the-way with Noor yet.

Lost in translation: Noor saying “Is dat een eik? Want ik zie veel eikels hier!” has completely lost its meaning when translated. ‘Eikels’ means ‘acorns’, which come from the ‘eik’ (= ‘oak tree’). But ‘eikels’ also means ‘assholes’. That’s why she’s pointing out the oak tree, to diss the boys that they’re actually ‘eikels’. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Again, the very subtle hint at the beginning that Sander was at the skatepark - checking Robbe out. Robbe pulls the middle finger at the boys hollering. His skateboard has a ‘World Industries’ sticker on it. 

°

Dinsdag 14:56

Perfect parallel: 

Robbe arguing “A whole weekend on a trip with people you don’t know?” against Noor coming along in this episode, his flirty affirmative answer to Sander’s “Like a weekend trip with strangers, right?” in the next.

Amber and her match making skills again! First, she tried to set herself up with Senne in S1, then Jana and Zoë with Max in S2, now Luca with Aaron in S3. 

Lost in translation: “Ik denk niet dat ze daar goesting voor heeft” - ‘Goesting’ is a typical Flemish word for anything that has to do with desire, preference or willingness to do something in any context (work, food, activities, sex, ...). That’s why Aaron answers him with “I had a different impression on Friday”, taking the “I don’t think she has ‘goesting’” in a very sexual way.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: The real reason why he doesn’t want Noor to join the trip, is him not wanting to fake his attraction to her. Except Robbe isn’t willing to admit that to himself yet.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Luca has braces!

°

Woensdag 12:21

Perfect parallel: Noor’s “And then you haven’t even seen the men yet” as a rebuttal to Moyo’s comments about art school girls in this episode, Robbe meeting the beautiful art boy Sander in the next. 

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe just doesn’t see the appeal in watching women dance, since he’s not attracted to them. But the guys don’t get why he says ‘no’ to the recital.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Noor is greeting Britt with a hug in the background. Moyo kisses the dance recital flyer right before going outside. 

°

Donderdag 07:21

C is for culture: Robbe is making a sandwich with choco spread and speculaas cookies. ‘Speculaas’ (’Biscoff' in English) is a spiced shortcrust biscuit with origins in the Netherlands and Belgium. It’s typically baked for the ‘Sinterklaas’ and Christmas celebrations. Though, it can be eaten as a treat to accompany coffee, thee or ice-cream as well. 

Perfect parallel: 

Zoë saying “I think you’re not used to eating healthy” earlier this episode and Robbe making sweet sandwich at the breakfast table, confirming her statement here.

Milan taking revenge for Zoë on a sleeping Senne in this episode, him helping Robbe prank Moyo for being homophobic in a later one. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Milan’s breakfast is a banana. Senne pulling Zoë into their bed, without her spilling the coffee in her hand.

°

Vrijdag 18:02

Perfect parallel: Luca dissing Moyo’s sexist statements with “Do you actually have a girlfriend? ... I understand why” earlier, her saying “Moyo, then you better take a good look at it, because it will be the last time you’ll see that room” here.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Zoë and Jana hugging each other outside. Luca giving Moyo a clear wink after dissing him. Robbe didn’t expect Noor to sleep with him in the bunkbed, as his face falls when she says she will.

°

Vrijdag 22:04

C is for culture: "It isn’t because he isn’t here...” - The reason that Senne couldn’t join their trip to the seaside, is that he doesn’t have a fall break. Universities usually start their school year a week later than university colleges, so they’re the only ones who don’t have a vacation at the end of October.

Perfect parallel: Robbe looking at drunk Noor with a sad expression of “Why can’t I just love this girl?” in this episode, him looking at a sleepy Sander with a face filled with love in the last episode.

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Robbe trying to pry Noor’s hands away from his body.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Senne responds with “#metoo” as a joke, referencing the movement and him missing Zoë. Her face freezes for a few seconds to indicate that she is indeed jealous. Robbe’s little wink at Luca. 

[iaintyourbro]

I noticed something that sort of ticks me off in Case of Tifa. After Cloud does a delivery for Elmyra to take a bouquet to Aerith's grave he starts staying away from Tifa and Marlene. But then after he finds Denzel and says that Aerith brought Denzel to him and decides to let him live with them and save him from geostigma, Cloud starts being back at home more often again. Did Cloud really start spending more time at home again just b/c of Aerith, and decided to save Denzel just b/c of her?

Hey anon.

The AC/CoT stuff seems to be a popular topic recently. I think it’s good that people are watching ACC and reading the novels since I think it’ll be important to understand both as Remake moves along. They’re pulling all pieces of the compilation into Remake, and the novels are no exception, since Leslie, Marle, and Kyrie have already made appearances. 

The delivery to the Forgotten City caused a old wound to be ripped open. The point of ACC is to show Cloud’s guilt for letting (in his mind) Aerith die. They also tie in Zack since he also feels immense guilt and sadness over that. In CoT they only really say that Cloud does feel guilty because he feels like he couldn’t protect Aerith and prevent her from dying. I don’t think that’s romantic - he was supposed to be her bodyguard and we know from Cloud’s history that he takes these things very seriously. He failed at preventing her from being killed, so he lives with that guilt.

Tifa also has a lot of guilt surrounding Aerith’s death and the Sector 7 plate collapse. They mention her guilt a ton of times, and I find it interesting that it’s not something that’s talked about often online. It’s always about Cloud’s guilt.

Here’s something an anon wrote in that I think is a great summary:

Anon Ask/Statement on Cloud’s Guilt

Tifa’s first time at the Forgotten City, which is shortly after the first defeat of Sephiroth, causes her to break down. The one thing that’s interesting in CoT is Tifa’s guilt slams her almost immediately, while Cloud is the one who seems to be holding it together to support her. 

We see that he’s willing to try and help her be strong. At this point, I’m not sure if he’s fully aware of the amount of guilt that’s settling within him. The point where it really seems to slam him is after he does the delivery for Elmyra. He has PTSD associated with the Forgotten City. I would assume anybody would. I would whether I knew a person closely or not if I saw them murdered in front of me. Especially if I attempted to kill them myself right before. 

Cloud also just generally has PTSD from everything else that’s happened to him. He lost his mother violently, his hometown was burned down, he watched the girl he’s in love with almost die, he was experimented on for four years and then ultimately watched his best friend die in front of him. He’s got a lot of shit going on and now add a reminder of ANOTHER incident in his life, he’s going to spiral.

Cloud also has a tendency to close in on himself. He doesn’t want to be a burden and he’s scared of hurting those he loves. It’s very possible that during this point, he didn’t want to worry Tifa anymore than she already was. So he begins to avoid them. Tifa also is non-confrontational at this point so isn’t going to push him. 

For the Denzel piece: Cloud sees Denzel as a way to repent for his sins of letting Aerith and Zack die. He says Aerith sent Denzel to him not in a romantic sense, but (in his mind) as a way to be forgiven. 

Now, we know Aerith doesn’t blame Cloud for her death. She tells us that in AC. This is all in Cloud’s mind that he’s a failure and he causes all these issues. He’s very selfless, but ends up seeming selfish because he really does pretty much self implode.

It’s not the first time he does this, either. When Tifa falls from Mt. Nibel - he blames himself. He goes through this time when he just becomes and asshole and beats people up. This is the event that causes him to decide to become a SOLDIER. He wants to win Tifa over.

He never tells anybody why he wanted to join SOLDIER. They show that during the Lifestream when Tifa asks him why. It was a sudden decision to everyone around him. Most likely not to Cloud - because Cloud was in his head coming up with all of this stuff. Ultimately, he wanted Tifa to notice him. He wanted to win her over and prove he could protect her. That was his driving force behind joining SOLDIER. 

So now we’ve covered this is just the way Cloud is. In Tifa’s case, he already had a crush on her, so that just grew from there into this deep desire to win her over. In Aerith’s case he didn’t have as strong of a connection to her - he didn’t know her as long - and he was “contracted” to be her bodyguard. He takes these things seriously. 

Cloud and Tifa take Denzel in and Cloud becomes obsessed with finding a cure for Geostigma. We see the books and papers on his desk in Advent Children - so we know this is something he was really looking in to. I relate - I did the same thing when my dad had cancer. You can get into these moods and forget about everything else. Usually somebody has to try and slam you out of it, but it’s hard. 

Tifa also sees Denzel as a way to retribution. She has a lot of guilt over what she did with Avalanche and the Sector 7 plate collapse. Denzel lost his parents in the Sector 7 plate collapse. 

Here is the conversation the two of them have that I think people take out of context. Cloud didn’t say Aerith brought Denzel to him for romantic reasons. He sees it as another chance to save a life. He tells us this - directly. Tifa feels the same was, as we see in the earlier excerpt. If anything, Aerith knew both Tifa and Cloud needed some help here with their inner turmoil. 

On top of it, Tifa feels that Denzel’s arrival strengthened their family. I would think if this was an old flame thing happening, she may feel a bit differently. Cloud decided to cut back to spend more time with the children. This has nothing to do with Aerith. It is also mentioned on a previous page that the bar was starting to lose business because people started realizing a kid with Geostigma lived there. Cloud, Tifa, and Marlene never mention this to Denzel, and instead, they continue to embrace him as part of their family. 

Honestly it’s pretty warm and fuzzy - even though all the darkness in this chapter - Tifa and Cloud are pretty good parents, especially since they’re young and it was kind of thrown on them. Also, it wouldn’t really be nice if Cloud was like “hey I’m dropping another kid off for you to deal with while you’re working the bar and all.”

As for the very last paragraph: We find out later that Cloud ends up with Geostigma and that’s why he left. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back sort of thing. Not only was he failing at saving Denzel, but he also now had what he knew to be a terminal illness in many cases. He now feels he can’t do anything and he runs. He tells us this in AC. 

I don’t think Tifa imagined the promise - because things ultimately end up being okay. Cloud just really thought he was going to die and was going to fail her - being dead means he can’t fulfill his promise to her. 

Here’s an excerpt from Case of Denzel. He mentions Tifa, Cloud, and Marlene. Not just Cloud. He sees them all as his family. He also mentions all of the folks along the way. The bulk of Case of Denzel is him getting to the point of being found at the church. It’s not just about his time with Cloud and Tifa - it’s Denzel’s journey. Johnny is in this one a lot. 

Ultimately, I do have issues with the way Advent Children was handled outside of Japan. Without the novels, it does seem like Cloud is just a depressed mess. You don’t really know why he’s a mess. You know he has Geostigma and you know he feels guilty. Some people took it as him pining for Aerith. Watching ACC and reading the novels, I didn’t get that at all. Many people became Cloti fans because of Advent Children. They were acting like a married couple going through a rough patch. 

They really do only mention his guilt in the novels and his issues with not being able to protect her. We do not have an official “Case of Cloud” so really can only go based on what the other characters are seeing with him and what he’s told them. As I’ve said in previous posts, there’s not canon evidence that his feelings were romantic - especially post Lifestream. 

The novels were released AFTER Advent Children in the US and I don’t think it was very well known. Most of the people I’ve talked to that are casual fans never saw Advent Children as romantic for him and Aerith. Especially since Zack was around. The ending alone makes people laugh when they find out they think Cloud and Aerith had any romance - he calls her “Mom” - her boyfriend is there with her and they’re acting like foster parents. 

I think with Remake, they’ll make things a bit more clear. I think ACC does a good job of making the guilt feel a bit more broad between Aerith and Zack. I wish it would have covered a bit more about Tifa’s guilt like Case of Tifa does, and maybe it would seem less romantic, since they seem to be having the same inner turmoil.

I think if people fully played OG, played Crisis Core, read the novels, and then watched ACC, they’d realize this all comes together pretty clearly. Dirge of Cerberus doesn’t show too much of he full original gang, but you do get to see a much happier Cloud and Tifa in it. The phone conversation is cute and hilarious - especially since since Barret is being ridiculous and Tifa yells at him.

Aerith and Zack are a thing. Cloud and Tifa are a thing. Cloud and Tifa have some serious problems with dealing with what goes on in their heads and it’s resolved by the end of Advent Children. Zack and Aerith give him that look at the end like “Alright, everything should be good now. Don’t disappoint us!” 

I also really do not think Cloud is going to pine after his best friend’s girl. Cloud isn’t a douchebag. He’s a nice guy. He respects people. Zack was his one and only best friend. Zack saved his life. I really think if people would remember to pull Zack into these conversations, they’d realize that it’s ridiculous to think that Cloud was after his dead best friend’s dead girlfriend. 

Additional Reading:

Advent Children Anon Ask  (About Romance)

Cloud and Tifa Ask - Advent Children

Why Zack is Important to Cloud

The Future of the LTD (This has a links to other blogs as well - so there is a variety of opinions here, including from a CA multishipper)

Case of Tifa and the Kids are Alright

[peterstanslizzie]

Reacting To: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Season 3 Episode 10)

This is it people! The series finale of Kipo; Let’s get to it.

Episode Title: Age of Wonderbeasts

Spoiler Warning: Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or are able to handle spoilers

Hopefully she’s getting dressed for her funeral lol

1. Continuing on from last episode, the fireworks rigged with the cure goes off and a bunch of embers start falling from the sky. One of the Humming Bombers got into contact with one of them while attempting to flee and immediately de-mutes. I thought the cure needed to go into their bloodstream? Unless, the ember actually burned through their skin. It that’s the case, wow that’s dark....

It’s awesome that Earl and Lily are helping Molly since Molly saved their children awhile back. 

2. With her quick thinking, Kipo asks everyone to find shelter underneath her as she transforms into her Mega Jaguar form. However, that’s still not enough to protect everyone but luckily, the good humans step up to shield them with table cloths, which was heartwarming to see. 

The mutes are thanking the humans for their act of kindness

OMG. Lio and Song hugging Scarlemagne? I’m here for it.

3. Thankfully, the fireworks ended and Kipo then pleads with Emilia one last time to stop what she’s doing. Emilia, hard-headed as ever isn’t one to back down at all and makes a drastic decision to inject herself with the mutagen she sourced from the Mega Walrus, transforming herself into one ugly Mega Mute. 

Imagine seeing this in real life...shudders

4. I thought she was going to use the Mega Walrus’s DNA to make another cure that would affect Kipo. I didn’t think she would do this to herself. Kipo transforms back to her Mega form to take on Emilia before she could potentially hurt anyone. 

How many Troyson kisses do we want? Yes...hehe

5. Troy and Benson are directing everyone back to find safety inside the old burrow while Wolf joins Kipo to assist her in battling Emilia. Kipo has the upper hand at first because Emilia isn’t used to being a Mega Mute. However, as the fight progresses, Emilia is starting to get better and is landing some solid hits on Kipo. But I feel like Kipo shouldn’t be losing to Emilia since she has much more experience fighting as a Mega. I guess they want us to feel like the stakes are high.

Man, this fight is actually pretty brutal. Emilia is whooping major jaguar ass here.

6. During the battle, Wolf notices Greta nearby and thinks that she has the cure to turn back Emilia into a human. So, hopefully they can steal the cure from Greta and use it as leverage to get Emilia to stop. They split up with Wolf going after Greta and Kipo continuing to fight off Emilia. 

7. After taking a couple more punches, we see three of the Mega Dogs, the Mega Pigeon and the Mega Beaver heading their way towards the fight, with Jamack, Molly, Hoag, Amy, Zane, Label, Lio, Song, Scarlemagne, Dave, Benson and Mandu riding on them. I stan such supportive friends!

8. They each take turns kicking Emilia’s butt to buy Kipo some time to recover. Side note: It’s so cool that Jamack tells Emilia to do some “soul searching”! That’s literally the same line Kipo used on Jamack in Season 1 when he was an antagonist back then. During all of this, we see Emilia beginning to have some inner turmoil; It looks like she’s starting to lose herself in her current form.

9. We get to round 2 of Wolf vs Greta and it looks like the tables might turn in favor of Wolf but Greta is just too beefy for her to take on. While being held down in a pin, Wolf tries to butter her up with words by telling her that she’s not an idiot and she can think for herself, without the influence of Emilia. She also bribes her with all the pancakes she can eat if she hands over the cure to her and just like that, she agrees to hand it over. It’s so ironic that Greta is one of Emilia’s last followers but she’s so easily influenced to switch sides. 

Again, I don’t get why Kipo is losing to Emilia so badly

10. Kipo is down for the count and Emilia turns her attention to her friends/family. As she’s about to crush Lio and Song, Kipo charges in last minute to take the devastating blow for them; She then falls unconscious. However, Emilia’s not done yet.

Scarlemagne’s death in 3...2...1

11. Oh no...here we go. Scarlemagne decides to play hero by making his attempt at saving Kipo. He basically gives his swan song to Lio and Song. I have a bad feeling he’s going to die and I’m not at all prepared to watch. He takes off on his favorite Flamingo vehicle from Season 1 and 2 and flies towards Emilia to distract her.

We haven’t heard this laugh in ages. Also, did anyone get chills when he tells Emilia to “leave her sister alone”?

12. He crashes his vehicle into Emilia causing her to lose focus and it sets off her ‘losing herself to the mega mute’ phase. This in turn, causes Scarlemagne to crash land somewhere in Skyscraper Ridge. Was it necessary for him to crash like that? If that’s the way he goes out, I’m gonna be honest here and say I would be very disappointed with that. 

13. Emilia, who clearly is out of it runs off somewhere and Kipo, Wolf, Dave, Benson and Mandu all go after her with Lio and Song heading towards where Hugo/Scarlemagne crash landed. We then see the artistic representation of Emilia losing her mind to the mute, where her human form is quickly sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean. 

14. They catch up to Emilia and they could see her being distraught. We also know the reason why she’s this way and it’s because she doesn’t have an anchor. I love it how whatever explanation we’re being told by the characters is something that the audience should know based on past episodes. Now that’s good storytelling. 

15. Anyways, Kipo makes the decision to cure her because she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be punished this way. Really now? After all that she’s done? Maybe what Kipo means is that she deserves get whopped in her human form lol. After curing her, Kipo makes ANOTHER ATTEMPT (for the 3rd time) to convince her to make a change but of course this bitch isn’t going to change; She takes a shard of glass and tries to stab Kipo:

16. But our girl, Mandu quickly reacts and bites Emilia’s arm. She then loses her balance and falls stories high in the exact burrow her lab was located because we then see Fun Gus capturing her and taking her in as her “playdate”. Emilia is basically history. 

17. Yesss! And this punishment is fitting since she will probably be Fun Gus’s plaything till she goes insane and dies. Not to mention she despises mutes. So, it’s a great way for her to go out. Bye!!! That’s what you get for killing your brother, you heartless monster. Can I also point out that once again, Mandu is the one to take out Emilia. She did beat her in season 2 when Wolf, Dave and Benson couldn’t and now in season 3, she’s the one to finish the job. Don’t mess with Mandu lol. 

18. They head back to find where Scarlemagne, Lio and Song are but it’s almost too late because Hugo is dying. Kipo is in tears and I’m in tears too. Again, was it really necessary to kill him off? I felt like he’s more or less already redeemed as a character before this. He didn’t have to commit such a heroic act, which had cost his life. Ugh....And just like that, Hugo dies.....UGHHHHHH. I really don’t think he needed to die. If Catra (who committed just as many heinous acts, if not more than Hugo) got to live in She-Ra & The Princesses of Power, Hugo deserves to live too. I’m sorry...

19. Now it’s time for the epilogue set 5 years later, as told by an older Kipo. Let’s break it down:

Wolf’s Mega Corgi gave birth to a litter of puppies. Awww cuteness...

Wolf let her hair grow out and she looks AMAZING!!! Dayummmm

Benson and Troy own a successful restaurant together and they’re living the dream. Such domestic goals!

I got chills seeing Wolf and Benson walking side by side like that. They’ve grown up so much. It looks like they’re own their way to a picnic

Label and Zane is also running a gym together. Sweet!

Jamack is conductor for Las Vistas’s new transport system. 

Dave is now a guest lecturer at what is seems to be Lio and Song’s new research lab, where he talks about some of his research findings and theories. Well, mostly theories.

I love Kipo’s new do’

20. We find out that Kipo is updating Hugo (spiritually) what has everybody been up to on his birthday. 

Hugo gets a statue made in his honor, which is very fitting and Mandu...WOW MANDU has grown into an ADULT boar, with tusks and everything just like Bornak and Webber. 

21. Kipo meets up with her besties and her family and they have their wonderful picnic in commemoration of Hugo’s birthday. 

22. The scene cuts off to all of them having the time of their life riding on their Mega mutes. And that’s the official ending to the series. TEARS...

23. This has been an amazing show to watch, react and review. I can’t believe it only had 30 episodes but the story was so cohesive and felt complete on the most part. So you could say that this show wrapped up nicely. There are some loose ends that weren’t addressed/resolved at the end like the vaccine that Song and Lio were working on but I guess that could be something that’s explored further in future films hopefully. 

24. I will also be making a couple of video essays that will be posted to my YouTube channel, PeterSaidWhat; The first one will be my full spoiler review of the final season and the second video will be Troyson-focused. I can’t wait for all of you to watch them. And finally, I want to thank you all for reading my episodic reviews and going on this incredible journey with me. It’s been a pleasure to have Kipo be a part of my life and I’m sure yours as well. 

Much love,

Peter

[twig-wig]

Even though I often don’t feel confident enough to use my own words to support the causes I believe in, I try to make sure I share the words of other people to my small audience. However, I feel I can’t stay silent on the issue that is currently brewing with J.K. Rowling at the centre. I’m not the most eloquent and this has turned out much longer than intended, and probably quite disjointed. But the transgender community is near and dear to my heart. I can no longer be content with standing by and allow other people to speak. I need to add my voice to the conversation.

I was born and grew up as a girl with a different name. My parents were both kind and accepting people, encouraging me to be who I wanted to be. Even if society tried to push me into a box they never did. As a child I saw myself as a tomboy; I enjoyed playing guitar, masculine clothing, and getting down and dirty at Scouts. I hit puberty young and that was when my inner turmoil started. I saw myself as ‘one of the boys’ and the changes happening to my body weren’t welcome ones. This started an ongoing battle with my self image that I am still fighting today but thankfully I feel I am finally winning. As I met more people in my teenage years I outgrew my ‘one of the boys’ mindset and tried to embrace my female-ness, but something still didn’t feel right. Eventually in the summer of 2017, aged 19, I came out as transgender. I had been using the name Finn online for a while at that point and chose that as my new name, started using male pronouns, and started binding and looking into medical transition. I spoke to two gender therapists over the following years and was officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I was also recommended for hormone treatment as that was what I had expressed an interest in and was going to be able to start that as soon as I was ready. Around the same time I was offered hormones I met my current boyfriend who helped me get more comfortable with myself and I paused to think about my identity. In the years I have been with him I have since come to realise that whilst I don’t identify as a transgender man, I do still experience gender dysphoria and believe that I would be happiest somewhere in the middle. There are aspects of my body that I am uncomfortable with in a way that only transgender people will understand. It’s not simply the uncomfortable facts of being human such as body hair and odour or the pain of menstruation. It feels tangibly wrong. This isn’t how my body is meant to be or to function and it makes me feel so awful that it transcends the issue of body positivity many people face.

Socially I am a detransitioned transgender man. If you were to ask people would call me a girl and refer to me with she/her pronouns, however, in an ideal world that is not how I would be perceived. I have a great deal of anxiety in social situations and I am not brave enough to request that the people I meet use neutral pronouns for me and avoid referring to me as male/female, nor am I brave enough to ask that of even my friends. I have made my peace with the words that people use for me as I hope that one day when my physical appearance aligns more with how I feel inside and the world has progressed to be more accepting of non-binary people I can garner the courage to claim that part of my identity.

The reason I feel the need to put this out there is that J.K. Rowling has taken it upon herself, a cisgender woman, to speak for the trans community and proclaim that the most vocal portion of the community is damaging. My years spent as a trangender male have made me stronger, more confident, and more aware of who I am and how I identify. They were not a mistake, they were a part of my growth as a person. My struggle with my gender identity has been long and hard. I’ve fallen on many sides of the debate through the years, even holding views at one point that were transphobic. Which is exactly why I feel qualified to tell J.K. Rowling and others like her that they are wrong.

Rowling thinks that the transgender movement is aiming to “erode the legal definition of sex and replace it with gender”. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I cannot speak for all transgender individuals, we are a varied group with a myriad of opinions, but the main push is for sex to not be the defining characteristic on legal documentation. Why do our drivers licenses or passports need to make people aware of the chromosomes we likely possess, or the genitals we were born with? They don’t. It is none of Rowling’s, or anyone else's, business that I was born female. It is an unfortunate reality for transgender people that, no matter how far they medically transition, their body may never be exactly how it would be for someone born male/female. Sex is biological, it is how you are born. You may be male, female, or be born with something that makes it harder to define your sex such as Klinefelter’s or Turner’s. That biological fact you are born with is not of importance to anyone but your doctor. The only thing that the law and anyone else should be interested in is your gender, how you identify, and this is what we wanted reflected on legal documentation. She also laments how easy it is to get a gender recognition certificate now, that you only need identify as a woman/man to get it changed and, *gasp*, you don’t even need to medically transition! But that is exactly how it should be. Medical transition is not a requirement. Some people may choose not to and some people may not be able to. It does not make them any less who they say they are. And again, who cares what’s on their documentation? What exactly is that going to change about your life? Absolutely nothing.

She also expresses a concern for a “huge explosion” in AFAB (assigned female at birth) people transitioning, and subsequently the increase in AFAB people detransitioning. As one of those people I can say with confidence that I do not think this is not due to any kind of brainwashing or misguided feelings. It is due to the fact that in the age of the internet information is more freely available to us. As I mentioned, my parents were incredibly accepting people. I grew up knowing two lovely trans women, however for some reason I was not aware that AFAB people could be transgender too and transition into men. This is something I have heard many trans men express, and my therapists both commented that it was a common reason for why people like me had not begun transitioning earlier in life. I can’t deny that the increased awareness and acceptance of transgender people will lead to some mistakenly identifying as transgender. Butch women and effeminate men exist and many are perfectly comfortable with their sex, however some may have issues with their self image or identity that can lead to them questioning their gender identity. But allowing people to explore their gender identity is a good thing. Medical decisions should not be taken lightly of course, and I believe there is a discussion to be had about making sure that we do not allow people to make those decisions without speaking to professionals, but that is a different debate that I do not wish to get into now. However, having said that, the choice to medically transition is the choice of the individual. No doctor can tell you what is best for you, they can only help guide you to the right decision. The correct response to the increase in people identifying as transgender is not to invalidate them and tell them they cannot ever be “real” men or women, or accuse the transgender community of poisoning the minds of the youth. We should instead seek to be better educating our children, increasing the quality and availability of resources for transgender people, and providing everyone with the tools they need to discover who they are and make the right choices for themselves.

Defining women by their biology is a harmful ideology to hold, not just for transgender women but also for cisgender women. Womanhood is not reliant on whether or not you have a uterus. She is right in that it is also not defined by a love of pink or shoes. How to define womanhood (and manhood) is a difficult and nuanced conversation, one that I do not feel yet able to have. But an easy way to tell is if you feel and know in your heart that you are a woman then you are and you can claim womanhood. She takes issue with referring to women as “menstruators” or “people with vulvas”. It was actually the phrase “people who menstruate” that offended her enough to start this whole debacle. Women is a useful phrase, and it does need to be used when talking about women’s rights in general. But the article in question was talking specifically about menstruation. When menstruation is the issue at hand I cannot understand at all how referring to that fact is a bad thing. Trans men and non-binary AFAB people who menstruate need to be included in the conversation; menstruation is not a topic that is solely for women.

Lastly, she tried to speak out for women who were abused that are being “wronged” by the inclusion of trans women in women’s spaces. I understand more than most how hard it can be to recover and trust those who may remind you of your abuser because I have been there. I understand the need for safe spaces away from anything that may trigger you. But transwomen are not all going to trigger those who were abused by men, unless of course you still view them as men. Maybe a trans woman has a deeper voice or more masculine facial features that remind you of your abuser and that triggers you. That is not a personal attack against her, it is an unfortunate result of your abuse, but a cisgender woman may also have a deeper voice or masculine facial features that trigger you. If that’s the case then of course you need to decide for yourself whether you need to remove yourself from the environment for your mental well being. However, if you enter a woman’s space that has a trans woman in it and you demand her removal on the basis that she was born biologically male you are nothing short of transphobic. Whilst, yes, allowing trans women into these spaces would theoretically allow for predators to pretend to be transgender to access vulnerable women it simply does not happen. I can’t point to any studies to prove this, but I feel common sense says that the likelihood of a predatory man pretending to be a woman to access women's only spaces is much less than a predatory woman accessing these spaces. The world is a scary place filled with horrible people and it is impossible to barricade against all possibilities of harm. Barring trans women from these spaces is not going to solve the problem that horrible people exist and protect you from them. It will only harm trans women.

Gender is hard. It can be complicated. Especially for those older who are having to change how they think. But all that we ask is that you respect transgender peoples identities and pronouns, that you use inclusive language, and that you don’t fight against our rights to simply exist in this world with the right name and gender on our papers. It’s really not that hard to just be a decent person.

[asacredwar-rp]

Character Information

Name: Millenia Aeonette Malfoy

Age:15

Blood Status: Pureblood

House: Slyherin

Year: 5th

Sexuality: Aromantic Asexual

Gender: Cisfemale

Allegiance: Death Eaters

Faceclaim: Kristine Froseth

Extracurriculars: Arithmancy Club, Chess Club, Gobstone Club

Traits

Positive Traits:    +Benevolent, +Artistic, + Perceptive

Negative Traits:    -Fragile, -Insecure, -Gullible

Connections

Wanted Connections:

Bad Influence:  Someone that gets her out of her bubble for all the wrong reasons. In the end, she looks up to this person and may or may not ick up all their bad habits.

Friend:

Bully

Current Connections:

Lucius Malfoy - Older brother Regulus Black - Follows to class Violet Greengrass- Idolizes Andromeda Black - Tries to befriend

Biography

Millenia was born into the /perfect/ family two years after her brother, the heir, was born. Something was off immediately her parents realized. The baby never cried, but its mouth would twist and distort as if the girl were screaming. Their worry was confirmed when the girl turned four and she still hadn’t spoken her first word. Abraxas would constantly lose his patience at her and argue with his wife that it was her fault she was this way. Nearing her fifth birthday she climbed onto the piano bench with her brother and said “h-h-hi. Luuuu-Luuuu.”The only witness to this was Lucius himself who tried to encourage her to say more words. She still stutters and finds it hard to communicate. They were convinced that Millenia was a Squib. Lucius had already shown his magical abilities, but Millenia was lost in her own world. The discussion came up to disown the girl on her thirteenth birthday, and her parents were shocked when she levitated her doll to her arms the same day.  Some even speculate Dobby himself made the doll levitate in oder to save her from being disowned.

Millenia was placed into school, however by the time she was showing signs she couldn’t room with the younger  students. Millenia may be fifteen, but she has the mentality of a ten year old.  She’s gullible and sees things through rose colored glasses and is often confused with reality at times. Since she is the only one her mental age around a bunch of teenagers. Because of he age she was always put into a dorm with other wizards with normal mature intellect. Abraxas made sure she didn’t attend Hogwarts at first, to make it easier for Lucius to excel. Also so he could forget she existed by swinging galleons at the school. Last year her father made her get the dark mark even though she doesn’t understand it. Lucius had to instruct her to stop signing her paintings with the dark mark that traumatized her and instead place her initials. Millenia is gifted in the arts. Having learned the piano before she said her first word, where her mouth lacks her ears make up for. She can often understand musical notes over spells. The girl is also an artist and paints out situations she overhears. Every detail she catches is often overlooked by the naked eye. Usually if her brother asks her a question about a person she will draw the person for him. She doesn’t memorize names and only recognizes faces she encounters.

Millenia carries around with her a doll she still has from when she was a baby. One that doesn’t make fun of her delay or judge her for taking ten minutes to quietly answer a question. If she isn’t drawing or playing the piano she is usually sitting somewhere with her doll playing with it. Her favorite game is tea party and she even has a miniature tea set she carries with her in her bag.

Due to how she was raised. She ‘s often viewed as skittish. Often flinching or crying out if she hears a loud noise around her. The first instinct she has is to hide. Sometimes she picks a bad hiding spot where she witnesses something she shouldn’t. The Malfoy house elf stumbled on the girl silently crying when Lucius started his first year at Hogwarts. Unable to leave her sobbing,  he taught her how to sign and also performed parlor magic to get her to smile.  When she levitated her doll, the elf had spotted it from afar and later signed to her that he knew she could do it. She has stopped in her tracks to try to sign to other house elves hoping they understand her - but so far that’s a no

Nothing of this her brother needed to worry about. Except for the occasional owl or picture detailing her day at school. The explosion of Gringott’s caused Abraxas’s payment to her wizarding school to cease, and in turn she would attend Hogwarts with her brother. A fact her father hadn’t told her brother. None of the normal students even knew who she was when she stepped up to the sorting hat. When her last name was mentioned it caused the crowd to turn to the other Malfoy. The sorting hat had a deadlock between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff when it came to sorting. However her feeble mind begged it to sort her into Slytherin so she wouldn’t get into any trouble at home. It swayed with her inner turmoil and placed her into a house she had no business being in. Millenia has been taught the elegant poise of a Malfoy. So most that haven’t spoken to her will not notice that she suffers from a cognitive condition, until they start trying to speak to her. Then it’s obvious she isn’t a normal fifth year. Her mannerism changes and her mask drops, often fidgeting and struggling to form words when spoken too.     

Now that she’s in Hogwarts with her brother, she feels happier, but she can’t help but to notice her brother might not feel the same.

Interested in Millenia Malfoy?  She is closed and being played by Admin J.

[desolate-rose]

Chapter 8 magic is real!

I have a plan!

And it only took me two years and some change!

And that’s not the only thing i've done in the last two and a half years! (that would've been a very boring two years) I can walk AND talk! And through these new skills (which were a pain to get let me tell you! Learning to walk left. So. Many. Bruises.) I had discovered all sorts of things!

I had confirmed that I am in fact a princess, we do in fact live in a castle, and that I am indeed a hylian.

That knowledge had sent me into another one of my depressingly common panic attacks, but it wasn’t all bad!

My new skills led me to the discovery of, (drumroll please) A LIBRARY!

Oh sweet literacy how I missed you!

I may have given my parents the mistaken impression of being some sort of baby genius or something, but in all honesty I was just desperate to be able to read again. Again being a baby was very very VERY boring, and my rationale thought and impulse control had honestly been worn down by the lack of intellectual stimulation! I was sooooooo bored of baby babble.

Also it wasn't exactly out of character for the cannon zelda, she had repaired / created an incredibly advanced guardian as a child which was not only capable of showing a personality planing and a facsimile of emotion, but also TIME TRAVEL.

Should I have pretended to be the average three year old because I'm not actually some sort of genius? probably. Will this have consequences for me? most likely. Will I regret this later? Almost certainly. Do I care right now? NO!

Consequences can suck it!

Mama needs to feed her addiction!

Also it wasn’t like I had just started to read books bigger than my head either, I’m still learning to read hylian, it’s a whole new language writing system and alphabet! I’m still stuck on baby books and basic words, but it’s better then nothing!

And sadly the little i can decipher of the hylian writing system is also more advanced than the nothing that real three year olds know. So I’m now the castle's little genius, mom and dad are absolutely brimming with pride. Honestly it’s too much attention placed on little ol me but if it’s a competition between too much attention or not being able to read, I’d choose to read every time.

I’m currently trying to figure out a rough chronology for the events of breath of the wild and all of its proceeding events. (assuming I'm not in the age of calamity: hyrule warriors timeline, but that timeline only exists as a split off of the original timeline so for now i'm assuming im in the original timeline. Prepare for the worst hope for the best and all that rot. Also im not stupid enough to assume that i can be a baby genius and just yha know MAKE a time triveling gaurdian) so that I can best implement my plans. Here’s my rough ROUGH timeline.

10,000 years before the start of the game Gannon attacks and is sealed away by the hero and princess with the help of the 4 champions, the Divine beasts, and the guardians.

At some point after that the sheikah become distrusted due to their powerful magic and technology and are banished.

They split in two the yiga who hate the royals of hyrule for their betrayal and join forces with gannon, and those who remain with the spirit of the sheikah and give up their great skills to remain serving the crown

98,983 years later princess Zelda is born. Shortly before that link is born

At some point a prophecy announcing the return of calamity Ganon is made.

At some point Zelda's mom dies making her unable to learn sealing magic from her.

Zelda is pressured into praying and praying and praying to unlock her sealing magic, at one point even collapsing in freezing water nearly losing her life if it wasn't for urbosa saving her.

The sheikah rediscover the Divine beasts, guardians, and sheikah slate.

Zelda helps to study these ancient artifacts to the disapproval of her father

Link finds the master sword

Link is appointed zelda's personal knight

The champions are chosen

Zelda goes to the spring of wisdom on her 17th birthday and Gannon returns

The champions, king bosphorus, and thousands of innocent people die when Gannon turns the Divine beasts and the guardians against them

Link is mortally wounded and Zelda unlocks her powers.

Link is sent to the shrine of resurrection

Zelda returns the master sword to the lost woods and goes to face Gannon alone for the next 100 years

100 years later Link wakes up with no memories and the events of the game commence.

In the end my plan is quite simple. Make sure my mom doesn't die. All of Zelda's problems stem from her mom's death, Gannon could only wreak havoc because Zelda's mom wasn't there to teach her the sealing magic or deal with calamity Gannon herself. At best my mom could teach me the magic and we could seal Gannon away together or she could do it or I could do it, at worst I can use the magic because I'm not actually the girl who is meant to be the zelda incarnation of hylia. Either way gannon gets defeated, bada bing bada boom no great calamity no destruction of all i've come to know and love.

Does it sound stupidly simplistic yes. But in all honesty it needs to be. There are too many variables at work here to have a twenty step plan and have it all go accordingly. Life is messy and unpredictable and not exactly amenable to complex multi step plans that rely on everything going a certain way. There's a reason that the saying ‘the best way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans,’ is so poupar. This isn't a game any more, stuff happens, free will is a thing. I can't rely on what I think I know. Who knows how much the butterfly effect has already affected things. So simplicity is the name of the game, it allows for the flexibility a rigid multi step plan would not.

So my plan really only has two components: learn sealing magic as soon as I can, And make sure my mom survives.

simple but hopefully effective

______________________________

I toddeled determinedly through the halls ignoring the bemusedly indulgent granny trailing behind me.

Fun fact about being a princess, you don't get any alone time. Ever. i am constantly being monitored, be it by granny, spots, father, mother, or some other random sap assigned to guard duty. Literally the only times I am left alone is when I head to the restroom or am put to bed for the night.

It's only mildly infuriating.

Mildly.

But anyway, at this time of day I would usually be at the library attempting to read some of the less difficult books or in my nursery playing with my toys under the watchful gaze of granny or spots, but today I have a mission. I was going to get my mom to start teaching me sealing magic if it kills me. I had found the perfect excuse as well. An old story book depicting the great matrilineal line of queens and their unique gift bestowed upon them by hylia herself. Now to enact my plans and deploy my greatest weapon. puppy dog eyes.

I stumbled my way into the office where my mom was going over various papers with a serious look upon her face. “Mama!” I cried practically throwing myself into her lap. McGuffin clenched in hand. “What is it my little bird” she smiled blessing my day, watering my crops, clearing my skin, and healing my wounds. “I found something i don't understand!” I chirped, squirming myself into a more comfortable position, book tucked into my arms. “Oh and why didn't you ask ila?” (so that was granny's name, huh.) “mhhhmmm i wanted to ask you!” que puppy dog eyes version 37 bright, cheerful, innocent. Work that toddler arua!

Mother chuckled while granny rolled her eyes behind me, I saw that missy! Don't give me your sass! “Oh and what didn't you understand?” PLAN IS A GO “mama what's se-al-ing magic? Why does the book say I have it? I'm not magic!” I pretended to pout indignantly, flipping to the page in my book that referenced it.

“Sealing magic baby, is the reason our line has ruled hyrule since the hylians lived amongst the clouds, it's a special gift from hylia herself.” hook, line, sinker. “Really?!” “yes my little bird, it's a special magic that lets us seal away bad guys, banish evil, and protect our kingdom. It's proof that we descended from hylia herself” as mother said this she raised one of her hands allowing for it to be bathed in an ethereal golden glow, bathing her in light and making her look like something genuinely devine.

Before this there had always been a little part of me that had been denying the truth. No matter how often it was mentioned in books or stories. No matter how many things had pointed to this being the hyrule of stories, a small part of me had been screaming that magic isn't real and that the legend of Zelda couldn't be real. But now, bathed in divine light and witnessing true honesty to god magic for the first time I could no longer deny the truth. Normally this confirmation would chill me to the bone and cause hysterical fear, but the power before me was warm, comforting, and at the same time incomprehensible. I could not fear when this light this power was here to bolster my spirit. I had never been adamantly religious before, but in the face of this light, for the first time I truly believed in the divine.

As the light faded away and I blinked spots out of my eyes I reaffirmed my mission. I needed to learn how to do that. Yesterday.

“Teach me! Teach me! Teach me!” I chanted practically vibrating where I sat, eyes wide in wonder and awe. “Now now little one, not so fast!” my mother chuckled, ruffling my hair.

“Why not!” I asked indignantly and was a little worried. I NEEDED to know sealing magic for my plan to work. It wasn't safe to put all your eggs in one basket. No matter how hard i would be working to save my mother regardless of calamity ganon.

“You're not old enough yet, my little songbird.” NOT OLD ENOUGH! I WAS 17 YEARS OLD WOMAN WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!? “I am old enough! I know how to read and everything!'' I frowned, doing my best not to show the inner turmoil starting to boil.

A little of it seemed to show on my face with the way mother immediately began to sooth me “zelda that's not what i mean.” my eyes searched hers, they were uncommonly serious. “Our magic is powerful and dangerous. There is a reason i can't teach it to you yet. Your not yet old enough in body or mind to be able to withstand the strain that kind of magic would put on your spirit.” my face must have still looked mutinous because she continued on. “Beyond just that, your power is not developed enough yet even if you could withstand the strain. You wouldn't be powerful enough to actually use your sealing magic.”

This is bad very very bad. “When can i learn it?!” mother chuckled at my assumed enthusiasm “Numbers hold power baby, when you turn seven you can start your lessons.”

Seven, SEVEN! That's years from now! The remaining calm and serenity from the glow of hylia's might drained from my body.

“Now i think it's time for your nap! Come on little bird i'll put you to bed, maybe afterward you can sing me a song hmm?”

Why do the gods hate me?

Also on FanFiction.Net! https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13547505/8/

[livingwithashipname-blog]

Ermanda’s Inner Sanctum: Scorpion 4.04 “Nuke Kids on the Block”

As much as I loved the end scenes, the episode copied the mission setup of 3.03 It Isn't The Fall That Kills You.  I love parallels and moments that recall past Scorpion jobs and tech to solve new problems or heartfelt character & ship developments (e.g., the “bored” Waige parallel to Quintis at the end of 3.15 Sharknerdo).  Given that season 4 is a reset of the series, I expect a revisit of various topics to show character development over the past 3 years, but unilateral copies are weird deja vu moments that spoil the magic of the series in my opinion.  The remaining elements of the episode were very enjoyable though because they led into the touching end scenes that I think sparked excitement for everyone in this fandom.  Let's get into the juicy bits! 

Sylvester Dodd, Esq. 

Sly is juggling his responsibilities as a Scorpion employee and Alderman of West Altadenia quite well since he uses his experience in one field to assist with another.  Now he plans to be Cabe’s defense!  Yay!  I am guessing he learned his lesson after Heywood Jahelpme Morris! 😂  Anyways, this is a great development because it serves as an extension of a father-son bond Sly and Cabe strengthened during Sly’s Alderman campaign last year.  With Patty Logan in the mix, this new arc will be comedic and touching!  Sly’s character development has really improved from previous seasons.  He gives an amazing speech to rally the team behind his goal to study and pass the bar exam in 2 DAYS!!!  All I can say is GO SLY GO!!! 

🎧 WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER - High School Musical cast🎧 

Waige

Ow my Waige!  Walter supports Happy’s presence because she could act as a buffer if he drones on and on about genius things.  He fears the same result will occur with Paige as his previous romantic interests.  He really wants this to work after the road it takes for him to get here!  And as she does best, Paige finds a unique way to accommodate Walter!  This scene takes me back to 2.15 Da Bomb, which is my all-time favorite Waige scene.  It reminds us how Paige is different from every other woman in Walter’s life whether she and Walter are on good terms or bad!  I love their new dynamic and I look forward to more cuteness from these cuties! 😍😍😍💙💙💙😍😍😍 

Baby Quintis

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!  Happy wants a baby ASAP!!!  EEK!!! 😃😃😃👨‍👩‍👧👶🏻🍼🤗🎉  Given the nature of the press release and the sneak peeks for the episode, the prevailing question amongst the fandom is why Happy wants to spend more time with Waige than her own husband.  When Toby realizes Happy’s behavior change is a psychological response to a strong emotional desire, he remains supportive.  He is not jealous because he knows how badly Happy wants a family of her own. 💚💚💚💚💚  

This is really great for everyone in the fandom who have wanted to see a pregnant Happy since the idea was teased in season 2B!  If you have been paying attention, you have noticed the foreshadowing elements that indicate the story's direction.  Since the writers teased this storyline at the end of season 3, I have tossed between the direction the writers would choose because of Toby's words to Happy in episode 3.07 We're Gonna Need A Bigger Vote.  But this current episode strongly suggests that Quintis' first child will be a bio baby in my opinion.  One of the biggest reasons why I am now convinced of this is because Quintis literally can not afford to adopt considering their current financial status.  Another is found in Happy's wardrobe, which is uniquely tied to all pregnancy mentions.  I forgot to mention this detail in my last review, but there was a significant wardrobe change, reflective of the looser and softer clothing of season 3A. The episode, along with 4.03 Grow A Deer, A Female Deer, also foreshadows how this new arc will unfold.  

Happy will carry a child.  She has stated that is what she wants.  Happy and Toby can not afford adoption.  However, TV is funny like that and could create a unique adoption scenario, if desired.  

Baby Quintis will be a girl.  The fawn from episode 4.03 was female (and spoiler alert: sneak peeks of the next episode reinforce this).  

Quintis will struggle with conception because nothing comes easy for these geniuses on this show, even in their personal lives.  The writers’ goal in season 3 was to explore how Happy and Toby would navigate a sudden life change given the stress of their current circumstances.  This season’s arc will likely test their resolve to develop their EQ and overall preparation for parenthood, teaching patience and perseverance. 

Happy will experience complications, but at which moment is unknown.  Her mother, Grace, died from childbirth complications, but this is not Happy's fate unless Jadyn Wong or CBS surprisingly decides not to renew her contract for another season, if ordered.  In addition, I do not think the story about the soldier's wife and her circulation problem and their infant is a coincidence.  

The baby will likely be a preemie.  The fawn was delivered prematurely and survived in episode 4.03.  If this baby is born at the end of the season with a pregnancy reveal between now and Christmas, then the length of the season without a significant time jump makes this a likely scenario.

These are factors I believe are inevitable.  However, these are very focused on Happy.  Where does Toby individually fit in this scenario besides being a sperm donor and supportive husband?  I go back to the conversation between Scotty and Toby in episode 3.24 Maroon 8.  Scotty's wife was prepared to give birth very soon and he was very concerned that the injury he sustained in the crash landing would cause him to miss the birth or never see either of them again.  Since there have been subtle clues about an impending struggle in Toby's personal life likely slated for the second half of the season, it might be possible that the writers play with an idea where Toby faces difficulty in reaching Happy for the birth of their child.  This is also likely considering Collins is still at large and we don't know what role he plays in the story later this season.  Yet, one could also argue that the comment Toby makes while he's dancing links to a future parallel with the "Shiny Happy People" moment of 2.13 White Out on a lighter note.  Baby Quintis is going to create a lot of character growth and influence a lot of other arcs for the season!  I am really excited about the possibilities!!! 

STOP WITH THE QUIEEN DRAMA!

If you are reading this title and think I am about to bash Quieen as a ship, then let me ✋🏾 you right there and say hello because you must be new to my blog and these reviews. 😉😂😂😂😂  This is more of a mini rant about the missed opportunities in a Happy and Paige friendship for the series.  I personally do not expect these two characters to have the same relationship that Happy has with Walter or that Paige has with Toby because their personalities are different and thus they will not naturally flock to one another as friends.  (Yes, I am aware of the irony of this statement considering Paige is in a relationship with Walter.)  The tension that exists between them in this episode is understandable given the circumstances.  At first, it didn't make sense why Happy would want to hang with Waige and Ralph out of the blue when the press release for the episode dropped.  The sneak peek revealing Paige and Walter's initial conversation before the mission suggested that Walter may have been behind this change given what we know about him as a character.  He does weird things when he is concerned about something.  Thus, he naturally defaults to experiments to test his hypotheses.  But throughout the episode we see that Happy's behavioral change is a result an inner emotional turmoil just as Walter's defense of Happy's presence on his dates with Paige suggests the same.  It's another unique Walter/Happy parallel showcasing their EQ struggles as the most robotic characters in the series.  The situation on a whole also links so well with Happy’s characterization.

Yet, the navigation of Waige's relationship presents opportunities for Paige to come to Happy to seek more insight about Walter since this show has established the strong Happy/Walter friendship and how they are very similar people.  Heck, Happy and Walter had the same walk when they entered the warhead hangar! 😂  The impending Quintis baby developments also create a chance for Happy to come to Paige for parenting advice like she did in 3.04 Little Boy Lost now that she wants to start a family.  She is inspired by the bond between Ralph and Waige and follows them to understand the scope of that connection.  Her focus on this is the reason why she is projecting her guilt over an accident leading to a catastrophic event and disappointment over being dismissed from the drive-in movie towards Paige and her EQ contributions to the team.  That frustration extends to a lesser extent to Toby and Cabe.  She is uncomfortable with the emotion, hence, she regresses.  However, the function of drama between Happy and Paige is annoying to use as a bonding tool in high stress situations when there is so much potential in their friendship without it.  As Toby states, Paige's work with Scorpion is a reason why he and Happy are married today.  Paige managed to piece together a last-minute wedding ceremony for them.  Happy gave Paige advice regarding Drew and Ralph from her own personal experience and even hilariously called out her jealousy towards Linda.  So all I'm saying is WHERE IS THE LOVE?!!  The drama is reflective of a common trope and societal fault that simply needs to dissolve.  The women of Scorpion do amazing things for this team and it is about time we see more SIGNIFICANT heartfelt moments between them!  My hope is we will eventually see a bond form from respective learning experiences because there is so much potential and new material that can blossom from a portrayal of this relationship on screen. 

Drabbles...

The lawyer interviews... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

So who is really Alderman? Sly or Patty? Patty is cracking me up because she is clearly running this ship! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ralph is so throwed and Paige doesn't like it... 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀 Geez guys, how did we get here already?! He was a little kid just the other day!

Walter is lucky Paige didn't hear his "I told you so!" He would have been in so much trouble! 😂😂😂

Paige and Happy are in full-on petty mode... 👀😱😱😱😳

How do you not have an explosion protocol even though the warhead is being decommissioned?! *facepalm*

Toby's moves to The Commodores are downright hilarious!!! 😂😂😂😂😂💀💀 I wonder if he plans on using those moves in the bedroom... #KinkyQuintis! At least Toby notices the danger before the others literally die from exhaust! Silver lining? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 He's such a dork!

Happy: Why do you want to be human anyway? Being human sucks! She's ruined all of us. Toby: Well... she is the reason we're together. That is a good thing, right?! (Happy remains silent). Aww Happy! My baby is all emotional and she is uncomfortable about it! 😢😢😢😢

Omgness! The way Walter closes the plug after Paige shoots down his definition of a fun date during catastrophe… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀

H: The sign says, "No Swimming,” boss! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Walter (to Happy & Paige): You two make a great team. Me: I agree! Why use a fight to get them here, writers?! We've been known this!

Explode the warhead?! Lordt, here we go again! 😳😳😱😱😱😱😱

Did anyone notice Happy’s subtle question of concern over the safety of the lighting guy given the new plan?! HOLY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 🙌🏾

Okay Happy… don’t drop this plastic wrench! 😂😂😂😂😂

Paige and Happy make up and Walter is confused… this is the subtle comedy I like!!! 👍🏾😂😂😂😂

Cabe being treated as an intern is just too much! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Cabe coming up with a method to locate the warhead based on the science the geniuses presented earlier… PRICELESS! He’s a great fit for this team as Toby suggests! Papa Cabe FTW!!! 🙌🏾😂😂😂😂😂

These geniuses are terribly direct at the worst times!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sly saves the county money and funds science club in one fell swoop! And he’s gonna be Cabe’s lawyer?! Oh yeah! 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 🙌🏾

H: I want a baby... soon. You were right. I want a family... I’ve always wanted a family and I want one with you because I love you. T: The woman who hates being human wants to make another human? H: Yeah, something like that. T: Shall we start now? OH MY QUINTIS HEART!!! 😍😍💚💚💚😍😍 ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY LOVE OAK!!! 😍💚💚🌳💚💚

Waige is too stinkin cute! I am feeling 2.15 end scene flashbacks! Are you?!! 💙💙🐟🍹💙💙  Also cue the “bored” parallels between Waige in this episode and Quintis in episode 3.15.  Paige and Toby, respectively, remind their robot significant other that they will never get tired of their antics/personality!  GIVE ME ALL THE WAIGE AND QUINTIS PARALLELS!!! 🙌🏾 🙌🏾 🙌🏾😍😍😍😍😍😍💚💚💙💙

[velvetroom--imagines]

Vampire makoto relationship headcanons with her s/o. Thank you

 I feel slightly terrible by making Makoto an antagonist in her General HCs, but that’s just how I see her thanks to that blackmail scenario.

Vampire!Makoto HCs

General HCs

Many people assume that Makoto was thousands of years old because of how mature and strict she is. With other vampires, she appears very threatening and powerful. Her intelligence comes into play as well, making it seem like she knows everything about the life of the undead.

However, that isn’t the case. Makoto was bit a few years or months ago, young compared to others like Yusuke. Sae was turned by pure accident, and she wasn’t planning to let Makoto be the same. Rather than a Lawyer, she hunted down Vampires.

It was because of a chain of events caused by enemy Vampires that wanted to find Sae’s weak spot. In an attempt to suck her dry, Sae fought off the vampire before it could take her life. Makoto lived at the cost of her humanity.

Of course, her blood status would be kept a secret. No one noticed a thing, until she grew hungry and had to feed. By then, rumors spread that Makoto Nijima really was a vampire. Numerous of them came and approached her, but immediately backed off when they recalled she had connections to high officials, like Sae or the Principal.   

First impressions with other Vampires never end well. Taking this from how she approached the PTs during the Kaneshiro Arc, she would use dirty tactics to stop other Vampires from feeding. However, she wouldn’t use violence to stop it, considering that she was one herself. 

“If I catch you preying on a human on school property, you won’t get away with it.”

Many vampires would be angry at her for turning on her own kind, but they can’t argue. They’re afraid of being exposed by Makoto and hunted down by authorities.

Makoto is strict and all, but she isn’t entirely bad.She understands that Vampires need to feed to survive, and not all of them wanted this life, but it is necessary to keep humans safe. Perhaps it’s also because the Principal promised not to call the authorities on her, but who knows?

Realistically, Makoto would be targeted by many but her front often scares them off. With a team like the Phantom Thieves, she is strong but alone, she can be taken down very easily.

Makoto eats whenever Sae brings back food. Her diet consists of blood bags from the hospital, and she is very hesitant to eating a human. She has done so once, and she felt awful about killing someone. It’s possible, but she’ll kill if needed.

She hates the sunlight. Makoto likes to spend her activities under the roof, and stays at the corner farthest away from the window. She is also the type to bring out an umbrella even when it’s sunny outside. “I’m allergic to the sun.”

Relationship HCs

Encountering Makoto was something that occurred on a regular basis. Both of you are classmates,best friends, and attend Shujin High together. It’s just like any regular day, she would make little interaction with you since she’s so busy. 

Some would say that you two stuck together like glue, rarely seen without the other. There were rumors about you being a Vampire, turned into the President’s assistant, but you paid no mind to them. Makoto was the closest friend you ever had, the one you confided in at the darkest of times.

You did hear the rumors about Makoto being a vampire, but it couldn’t be possible. It was extremely rare to have Vampires in the city, perhaps one or two in the school. Like any good friend, you avoided these rumors and hung out with her nonetheless.

One day, Makoto comes to school, deathly pale. Even when you brushed your hand against hers, you couldn’t help but shiver at how cold it felt. “Oh... I’m just sick, don’t worry too much about me.” She said with a weak smile, threatening to fall apart. 

Her self control was impressive. Due to a lack of supply of bloodbags in the hospital, Makoto couldn’t get her regular feed. She had to spend her day with hundreds of students, all carrying the food she needed. She desperately wanted to drag someone into the janitor’s closet and relieve herself of hunger, but that would make her into one of the people she despised so much.

She could’ve done it anytime. It would’ve been so simple to call an unsuspecting student into the office, and sip the life out of them. She could leave without any traces to her name with the help of the Principal and Sae. So why? 

Why hasn’t she done it?

Not many people took a liking to Makoto. Vampires detested her alignment with humans, classmates disliked her authority and even distanced themselves after the rumors had spread. There was only a person who made her realize that someone was still there, holding her hand.

You. You were the reason why she hasn’t indulged herself in the blood of another. Assuming you would leave her out of fear, Makoto knows she would be broken. Not wanting to lose you, she swallowed her hunger and promised to wait. 

Since she was one of the newly turned vampires, it was hard for her to maintain her hunger. She was much more irritable in meetings, and would call them off quickly. Using her excuse as the Student President, she would lock herself in an empty classroom and wait for the end of the day.

Makoto gives up eventually, finding the pain too hard to bear. Her plan is to find an unsuspecting victim, drag them into an alley and devour them. She doesn’t know if her actions will kill them or not, but hunger has blinded her too much.

She manages to stalk down a drunk man once the sun has set, calm as ever. Her hands itched to satisfy herself, and end her inner turmoil once and for all. Before she knew it, a hand was clamped down on his mouth as her fangs bit down on his neck. 

It tasted bitter like alcohol, but she didn’t care. It was dirty and enough to quell the demon inside her. With a gulp, she felt replenished with energy. In the midst of drinking, she heard a gasp from behind. “M-Makoto?!” At the familiar voice, she ceased, dropping the body from her hold. 

A horrified expression dawned on her face as she recognized the bystander’s face. It was something she hoped to never encounter in a situation like this. Why? Why of all people, did it have to be you who catches her in the act.

You just had to follow her. Worried for your dear friend, you waited by the school gates. She had made her exit, but didn’t seem to notice you. It was strange, she always walked with you. Trailing from behind, you spent the night chasing her down to this alleyway.

“S-S/O...” There was nowhere for her to run. It was all over. She hasn’t killed the drunk man yet, leaving him passed out on the pavement. There were witnesses to her crime, and even you knew her face and name. “I’m so sorry you had to see me like this.” She croaked, already imaging her upcoming end.“Makoto, I-” 

A crowd began to pass by, seemingly getting closer to the secluded alleyway. Voices began to grow louder, and it won’t be long until someone notices the faint smell of blood.

Immediately giving Makoto your blazer, you hurried her out of the alleyway. While she remained frozen in fear, she moved along in order to keep you from getting even more upset.

You took her home, and insisted on staying. In the midst of this hectic situation, you helped the girl wash up and get rid of the stains on her clothes.

Suddenly, she began to weep, immediately taking your wrist gently. “I understand if you’ll leave me. I make sure you don’t suffer any consequences of helping me.” You looked at her, confused before shaking your head. “Vampire or not, I love you and I’m not going to leave you.”

Makoto didn’t know what made you stay with her, but the reason didn’t matter anymore. When you held her there even while her white blouse was stained red, she knew that you weren’t going to leave her. Even the next day, you acted as if nothing happened and stayed by her side.

Whenever you are out together at night, Makoto is always on guard. All types of people are after her, and she isn’t planning for you to get involved. Without the PT, she can’t fight alone. More than often, she proposes a date at each other’s houses, or dates where there are crowds.

Makoto doesn’t mention your name whenever begin threatened by other vampires. However, when they do and use you as a threat, she doesn’t hesitate in handing them over to authorities. Yes, she is worried about her own life, but yours weighed more in comparison. It didn’t matter to Makoto whether she gets caught or not, you must live.

Dating Vampire!Makoto is full of ups and downs. Knowing that she may be caught one day or betrayed by the Principal, it isn’t easy to say that there is a happy ending. However, even with that possibility, Makoto wouldn’t trade the love you shared with her for her life. 

[onehaleofanadventure]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics) Relationship: Tim Drake/Jason Todd

Summary: 

Oh, what problems is causes when your boyfriend find someone else's lace in your bed.

Tim had no reason to be so nervous. It was just Jason. Every Tuesday night he stops by Tim’s apartment for a while. Tim is certain it’s not a date-date, it’s just free food and conversation with someone intelligent. The only problem is that Tim has had this embarrassing crush on Jason pretty much forever, he refuses to let himself project his stupid unrequited feelings onto Jason. If Jason was interested, he would have done something years ago.  

All the being said, something feels weird about tonight though. Jason isn’t coming straight from work, he had the night off. If feels different, more special, like he really wants something with Tim, but that is most definitely Tim projecting.  

That doesn’t change the fact that he had spent all morning obsessively cleaning the mess he and Steph had made this weekend. Well, mostly Steph, the girl was a hot mess on a good day, and so much worse when drunk. Also, she had the very uncomfortable habit of climbing into bed with Tim to cuddle in the middle of the night.  

Speak of the devil, “Hey, boyfriend.” Steph greeted, both too loud and cheerful for Tim‘s current inner turmoil.  

Tim just sighed, long since having given up on trying to get her to stop calling him that, despite how awkward it was since they’d broken up so long ago. “I love you. You know this. But I have plans that I will not be canceling for any reason other than life-threatening emergency.”

Steph giggled, “I know. Netflix and chill with the boyfriend!”

“Steph,” Tim groaned.  

“I know, I know. He’s not your boyfriend, and, Netflix and chill is sex and we do not have sex, which is a huge mistake on your part. A man that strong, that big,” she hummed suggestively, “I bet the sex would be fantastic.”

Tim spluttered, blushing fiercely as Steph cackled in his ear. “Anyway, I’m not calling for plans. I’m calling because I left my favorite, lucky eggplant bra and panties there. So I’ll be by tomorrow to grab, or more likely find—knowing your cleaning habits—them.”

“Hey!” Tim squawked indignantly. “I’ve cleaned, and I—“

“In that case, I’m sure you’ve found them, so no wearing them! I know how you like the feeling of the lace against you skin.”

Tim spluttered again, flushing even brighter and hiding his face despite Stephanie not being here to see him. He tried to say something, but decided it would be better to just hang up on his still cackling best friend.  

Jason was due to arrive in less than an hour—it’s not that they have a specific meeting time, they just tend to meet at almost the same time every week—and he still has so much to do.  

Jason, timely as always, arrives at exactly a quarter past eleven wearing a dopey grin and exclaiming, “Timmy, I brought sustenance!” while gently shaking a brown paper bag, with the logo of a Japanese restaurant down the street, in his face—it’s one of Tim’s favorite restaurants, which he told Jason once a long time ago.  

Tim blushes at the insinuation that Jason remembers such insignificant details about him, taking the bag and heading towards the kitchen. He hears Jason chuckle as the front door closes and locks, Jason’s surprisingly quiet, now bootless, footsteps padding after him, the lack of noise also implying the removal of his signature leather jacket.  

“So,” Jason starts, causing irrational anxiety to bubble in Tim’s stomach, “don’t know if you’ve been outside recently, but it’s fucking cold. I think my hands are going to fall off.”

Tim mindlessly “tsks” at the curse, immediately yelping—and nearly dropping the plates he was pulling out for the food—as said cold hands find their way under his sweater and blushing as the rest of Jason presses right up against his back. He sets the plates down, intent on pushing Jason’s now wandering hands away, but find himself too distracted to anything more than shiver as Jason whispers, warm and rough, into his ear. “Don’t worry about plates, Babybird. Just grab silverware and come cuddle me warm.”

Tim starts to stutter out a response, but as Jason’s big hands slide off his tight—and now cold—stomach he decides he’d rather just listen: cuddling seems like the perfect idea.

Tim grabs the food, a fork for him, and an extra for Jason, though he knows Jason will use the chopsticks from the restaurant. He turns, heading back to his living room and stops short, gaping at Jason, who was bent over at the waist, digging through the closet that usually held all his spare blankets.  

Usually being the key word. He’d thrown all the ones from his bed in the wash this morning, and taken the extras out of the closet to sleep with tonight.  

“Hey Timbers,” Jason calls, turning and forcing Tim to snaps his eyes to Jason’s face rather than continuing his trek down the hard lines of his thick-muscled thighs. Jason smiles indulgently, though Tim misses the look, trying to appear as if he’s meeting Jason’s eyes without actually doing so. “So, where are all the blankets?”

“O-Oh,” Tim stuttered, silently cursing his nerves and finally putting the food down to hide the bright red splotches no doubt obvious on his pale skin. “I, um, I’m washing them. Steph kind of made a huge mess of the ones that were on my bed.”

Tim, still fiddling with the food now on his coffee table, misses the slight flinch and the way Jason’s smile turns forced at the mention of Steph in his bed. However, he looks up at the slight edge now in Jason’s voice. “So,” Jason hums, clearing his throat, though the usual warmth doesn’t fully return, “proper cuddles need blankets, and I’m still freezing.”

“Right, ummm…. We could go to my room?”  

Jason narrows his eyes, tone suspicious when he asks “You sure that’s okay?”

Tim doesn’t really understand his caution, but confidently blurts out, “Yeah! I mean, yes. As long as we don’t spill anything it’ll be fine. And I have Netflix in there, too, so it’s all good.” The idea of Jason in his bed, no matter how innocent, is too exciting and tempting an option to refuse, despite the weird look Jason has.  

“Whatever you say, Timbers.” Jason’s tone is still off, but he’s picking up the food and gesturing, “lead the way.”

Tim shrugs, leading them down the hallway that opens to the master bedroom. This isn’t the first time Jason has acted weird around him—in fact, the entire first year of their friendship was them awkwardly getting over misunderstanding that caused them to dislike each other—so, maybe he just had a weird day.  

They even been watching all the occult and sci-fi movies that they could find. They finished the Underworld series in them for the new movie and Tim dragged Jason out to see it. They only have two more Resident Evil movies to go, and then Tim will have to convince Jason to go see that in theaters, too.  

He let’s Jason settle the food on the nightstands and rearrange the blankets while he sets up Netflix and finds the appropriate movie. The settle in the bed, their food in their laps as Tim leans slightly against Jason; by the time they finish their food, the tension is gone, replaced with Jason’s sarcastic comments about weapons and Tim’s snide comments about movie science.

Nearing the end of the their first movie of the night, Tim is practically in Jason’s lap, with one hand braced on those spectacular thighs and the other rest against his overstuffed stomach. Jason sits with one leg bent at the knee and the other outstretched, one arm behind his head in the headboard and the other rubbing hypnotic circles into the sweater over Tim’s hip.  

Tim wiggles a little, turning his head to look at Jason. He wasn’t expecting Jason’s piercing teal eyes to already be looking at him, the intensity and proximity leave him breathless. Tim ducks his eyes, feeling fidgety under Jason’s gaze, but he gets caught on Jason’s plump, soft looking lips. He really can’t help himself, and licks his lips and can’t help but imagine how warm those lips would feel on his.  

Tim can’t really think past his desire and the desire he can see clearly coming off Jason. He spins around, so he’s kneeling between Jason’s legs, and reaches out slide his hand along the rough stumbled sprouting from Jason’s jaw.  

Suddenly, Jason lurches forward, pressing surprisingly soft lips against Tim’s. They shift and tug at shirts and bedding, only breaking when Tim needs to breathe. Jason flips them, so Tim arched underneath Jason and the mouth locked onto his throat. Just as suddenly, Jason is pulling away with a careful blank looks that is at odds with the attractive flush on his lightly tanned cheeks.  

Tim makes a protesting noise and pushes back towards Jason’s mouth, only to freeze as Jason lifts up a suspicious purple lingerie set, bra clinging to the lacy panties in a way that is sure to annoy Steph.  

Tim pulled them off Jason’s hand and tossed them off to the side, smiling sweetly as he once again tried to return to kissing. This time, however, Jason pushed himself up into a sitting position. Tim made a question noise and tried to meet the gaze hovering studiously to the left if his face. “It’s, uhh, it’s getting late, Tim. I think I should get going.”

“But, Jay… It’s not that… We haven’t even finished the last movie.” The confusion was evident in his tone, he just didn’t know how to voice the question he really wanted to ask. It’s not that late, why are you leaving? and what did I do wrong? or maybe just everything was good, what just happened?

“I know. And I’m sorry, Tim. It’s just, uhh, I’m really tired. It’s just been kind of a long, and disappointing day, is all.” Jason sighed, “ we can totally finish this up another time.”

“Oh, um, okay.” Tim scrambled off the bed, following Jason as he all but marched to the front door. He yanked his boots on and didn’t even finish putting his jacket on before he opened the front door. The blast of cold air jolted Tim out of his temporary stupor, “So, umm, I’ll see you next week? Hope you feel better?” Tim was still so confused about what was happening here, and Jason leaving kind of felt like rejection—like maybe Tim shouldn’t have kissed him—which makes no sense because Jason kissed him.  

It’s been almost three weeks since Jason left, and he hasn’t been back. He sends exactly one text every Tuesday morning with a less believable excuse for why he can’t show up this week. Tim would be worried, anxious to check on him, except Dick frequents the coffee shop Jay writes at when he has time or is feeling inspired; and apparently he’s been there often. Maybe his excuses are true, but Tim can’t help but feel as if Jason is purposely avoiding him.  

Which explains how he let Steph talk him into getting sloppy drunk and telling her all about it—“and then we made out. For a—hic—while. I mean it was like ten min—hic—utes, thats a while, right?”

Steph, curse her, wasn’t drinking, well not drinking to get drunk, citing an important interview tomorrow. “Yeah, Timmy, that’s a while. So he just left?”

“Y-yeah.” Tim sniffled.  

Steph hummed, “I mean, I know I’ve barely ever met the guy, but he doesn’t really seem like the type to ditch. Especially since he is clearly interested.”  

“He’s not—“

“I mean, he kissed you, he’s totally interested. You don’t just kiss people you aren’t at least a little interested in. So it just seems weird that he’d just leave and not come back.”

“But-hic-but that’s exactly what happ—ppened!” Tim whined, pretending he doesn’t sound as pathetic as he feels.  

“Exactly?” Steph hummed. “So you were making out and then he just got up and left. No arguing or anything. I know you’re not the best as social cues—you make up for it with how cute you are when you’re flustered—but are you sure you didn’t miss anything?”

“No. Kissing. He found your purple thong. Said he was tired. Left.” Tim garbled out, most of the words unintelligible from the shots he was downing.  

“And you didn’t think to explain to your boyfriend why there was a thong in your bed?” Steph shrieks.  

“No?” Tim pouts, completely lost. Jason knows Steph, well, he knows about her. He was around for their entire relationship and knows that Tim still loves her even though he’s no longer in love with her.  

“You idiot.” Steph sighs, slumping onto the table and muttering to herself. “Okay, here’s what is going to happen. You are going to go sleep off the alcohol, then you’re going to call your brother and get his help to find Jason. Then, you’re going to talk to Jason, and explain to him that we are not now or ever going to date again.”

The hangover is mostly gone by the time Dick calls back and says that Jason is at the coffee shop. He still feels like retching after running down the street to get there. For some reason, he’s nervous—which makes no sense, it’s Jason. And probably going to be a good moment for their relationship.  

Tim pauses outside the door, quietly following an elderly couple through the glass door, and silently cursing the jingly bell overhead that announces someone’s entrance. He sees Dick in the corner and makes his way over when he starts waving.

“Hey, Dick. Where’s Jay?” He feels a little bad about the lack of interest in his brother, but they all know that Tim is in this hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, on the other side of Gotham, because he wants to see Jason.  

Dick points off to the corner, where Tim can see a head of dark, slightly curly, hair with a strange white streak. Now that he’s looking, he can also see the minute twitching in his shoulders that signifies rapid typing.  

He takes a deep, steadying breath, says “Thanks, Dick” and marches off towards Jason.  

“Jay? Umm, are you busy? Can I…umm…talk to you for a few minutes.” He resolutely ignores Jason’s tiny twitch and keeps looking at him.  

Jason turns towards him, “Tim…” his tone is almost warning, “look, I don’t think is a good—“

Tim made a promise to Steph. He’s going to stick it out. And maybe Steph is right. Maybe it’ll all work out for him.  

“Steph said—I mean, it had come to my attention that I need to explain some things.”

“You don’t need to explain. I’m pretty sure I figured everything out.” The rapid flash of hurt across his face made Tim’s heart ache and a hot ball of guilt form in his chest. “I get it, you know. Blondie, she’s—she’s pretty amazing. Gorgeous. Smart. Been your best friend for a long time. I’m fine with being someone’s experimentation—I happily support experimentation—but I’m not okay with being someone’s dirty little secret.”

“You’re not—“

“You should’ve told me. And you definitely shouldn’t have let me kiss you. I think it’s best if we stay away from each other for a while. I don’t want—“

“We aren’t dating!” Tim can feel his cheeks flaring. But he had to get Jason to stop talking. “I mean… Steph and I. We aren’t dating. We broke up, like a year ago, remember? Right. Ummm, so it was actually dating Steph that made me realize I was more into men. Not that Steph isn’t amazing! And beautiful. But… umm. I was—am more interested in you, actually.” Tim was simultaneously hoping Jason did and didn’t understand the mumbles of his last sentence.  

“Oh, umm.” Watching Jason stutter and flush softly was well worth the embarrassment of this conversation in such a public place. “I guess I shouldn’t have—I’m pretty interested in you, too.” The usual, smugly smirk was more than comforting after so long. “I’d even—“

Tim still doesn’t know what possessed him to do it, but he flung himself forward, clumsily pressing lips and tongue and teeth against Jason, silencing whatever he was about to say.

Tim pulled back, only somewhat embarrassed about being in Jason’s lap, and not at all willing to move. He smiled up shyly, peppering kisses across Jason’s face and lips. “I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.”  

Jason’s warm laugh and soft, crooked smile was, hands-down, the best part of Tim’s month.

[noctis-hq]

congratulations ROSIE! you’ve been selected for the role of Leopold “Leo” Durant, also known as the escape artist. please look over the checklist here. you have 48 hours to send your account to the main. welcome to the family!

MAN. you guys did not make this one easy on me either. i really struggled on who to go with this one but in the end, i think leo really captured what i envisioned for the escape artist. i could feel his turmoil in your bio. i was with him every step of the way hoping it would work and breaking when it didn’t. and the details about his nana’s grimoire freaking got me. chills. honestly, i’m so excited to see leo and just can’t wait for my heart to break some more with your beautiful writing!

&&. THE AUDIENCE

alias: Rosie

age & timezone: 21, PST

activity. I try and post at least once a day, and I try and get all my replies done before bed.  I’d say a 9 or 10.

&&. THE ACT

skeleton

: The Escape Artist

reasoning: The fact that they’re always on the run and are now stuck at the school intrigues me.  I think this is going to cause a lot of inner turmoil for this character, and I hope to explore that.  

name: Leopold ‘Leo’ Durant

faceclaim: Thomas Doherty

age & birthday: June 6th 1995 (23)

gender: Male

key traits:

Headstrong - Once Leo makes a decision, he sticks with it and no one can change his mind. As long as he thinks he is taking the best route, he will steady his course.  His focus has helped him get through life, and when he was younger it resulted in many awards and accomplishments in school.

Fearful - While he is focused and set in his decisions, he mainly makes them out of fear.  Fear is his driving force. He doesn’t want to get hurt or hurt anyone else. This all began when his powers started to manifest.

ability:

Necromancy - Leo can communicate with the dead, and revive small creatures.  However, whenever he brings something back to life, something else dies. He can see and hear spirits, but when he sees them it is only for a brief moment and when he hears them their words are often jumbled and he cannot decipher what they’re saying.  When spirits appear to him, it is only for a split second and they appear how they looked when they died.

I chose necromancy because this is the power I saw fitting best with the character’s history and helped explain why he is the way he is today.

bio. 

Leopold Vincent Durant was born in New Hampshire to Scarlett and Paul Durant when they were both in their late 30s.  He was considered a ‘miracle baby’, since his parents had trouble conceiving and were deemed infertile years prior. He was an imaginative and clever young boy, running around and playing in the woods near his house.  He could make props out of anything. He would play superhero and make capes out of ragged towels. He may have been an only child but he never felt lonely. He had an innate ability to entertain himself, and that creativity is still with him today.  

He was, and is, incredibly focused. Once he sets his mind to a task he cannot stop until it is done, not even taking breaks to sleep or eat.  This earned him high grades in school, and his friendly attitude drew people to him in high school. He joined the school baseball team and was well liked among the student body.  He was voted Most Likely to Succeed by his classmates, and graduated with a plan to earn a business degree at a college nearby. Given that his parents were older, he wasn’t comfortable leaving them with their increasing number of health problems.  Leo had a positive outlook on life, and figured that the pieces were going to fall where they would and he was just going to make the best out of it. His college life started out as he expected. He would go to school, go to work, then come home. All of his friends went away to college so he didn’t have anyone to hang out with, but that was fine.  He had his family. He tried out for the college baseball team but unfortunately didn’t make it. He figured it was for the best, that way he could work more. Leo carried his happy go lucky attitude through his freshman year of college. He made a few friends, but none of them were true friends as they didn’t talk outside of school.

It was his sophomore year, when he was 19, that things began to change.  He started seeing figures out of the corner of his eye, and hearing voices.  At first he thought it was just stress and that it would go away after a while, but it didn’t.  It began happening more and more. He would see a lot of elderly people with ashen skin, standing there with their eyes fixed on him as if he were the only one there.  Then, after the blink of an eye, they were gone. He would occasionally see something more sinister. Men and women with blood dripping down their faces from an accident or someone with a bullet wound.  Those were the ones who scared him; they caught him off guard. That was when he started seeing a psychiatrist, who then prescribed him medication. Much to his dismay, it didn’t work.

Naturally, he told his family about what was going on, with the voices and the figures.  They seemed confused and concerned, but his grandmother sat with a smile. He didn’t understand at first, but he would after she passed a year later.  His Nana Jude was an eccentric woman who never hid her interest in curiosities. She had odd figurines lining her shelves and a stylized pattern painted on her walls that looked like something out of a fantasy novel.  She would always talk about the power of the individual and how one could do great things if the discovered then harnessed it. That the world was full of energy that was waiting to be used by the ‘awakened’. There were a few times where he could have sworn she’d summoned household items right into her hand, but later convinced himself he imagined it.  The night she died, Leo was woken up by a loud thud. After turning on the lights he saw what appeared to be a dark green, leather bound book on his desk. He’d never seen it before, and figured he’d ask his parents about it in the morning, thinking they were playing some sort of joke on him. After mentioning it casually at the breakfast table, they claimed to know nothing of it.  Shortly after was when they received word that Nana Jude had passed away.

When Leo opened the book, it appeared to be full of blank pages.  However, handwritten words began to appear. His Nana’s name was written on the cover sheet.  Within it were instructions for rituals and spells, none of which Leo understood. He wasn’t surprised that his Nana was involved in witchcraft, he just didn’t think any of it was real.  In fact, the sort of thought she was a bit crazy to think any of it would actually work. So, he shoved the book under his bed and didn’t think about it for months. That is, until his childhood dog died.

He came home from work one evening to learn that Tino, the Jack Russell Terrier he’d had since childhood, was ill and needed to be put down. Leo saw it coming, but he was crushed.  He wanted to stay in the room with him while they put him down to calm him, even though his parents said he shouldn’t. After they completed the euthanasia, the vet gave the family a few moments to say goodbye.  He was even more emotional given that he was still grieving the loss of his grandmother, but still, he knew he had to let go, no matter how much he didn’t want to lose him. So, he gave him one last pat and walked out the door.  His hand felt warm, and his family told him that his skin had gotten really red. However, he just figured it was because he was emotional.

Just as they were gathering themselves for the ride home, the vet came back and said that Tino had survived the procedure and had no trace of the illness.  They were overjoyed and brought the dog back home. They came to realize though that this wasn’t the same dog. It wouldn’t respond to its name, it was never excited to see them, it didn’t like to eat, and it didn’t like to play.  All it did was lay and stare at whoever was in the room. It was Tino’s body, sure, but Leo didn’t believe that Tino was actually in there.

It was weird to him, and he remembered the feeling in his arm and how his skin was red as if he’d come from running a mile.  During a fight with his dad, he knocked over a planter full of dead flowers, and he felt the same odd burning sensation in his palm.  After going for a walk to cool off, he found the flowers as vibrant as ever in the displaced dirt at his feet, but the grass in their front yard was brown and dry.  That was when he decided to take a second look at the book, and he began wondering if all the magic could be real.

The voices occurred more and more, it became so loud that he couldn’t sleep most nights.  The figures stuck around too. They were always the same ones, it was like they were haunting him.  Though he couldn’t understand their words or get a long enough look to read their expressions, he had the feeling they wanted his help.  There was nothing he could do… except get away.

So, when he was 20, he said goodbye to Hampshire.  Leo dropped out of college and told his parents he’d met some girl and they were eloping.  He wished that were the case. He figured that the souls couldn’t follow him everywhere, and that once he lost them, he’d be free.  He was right. When he got to Maine, the spirits that were forever in his company had vanished. He tried to settle there, to have. Real life.  He got a job, and even made friends with the single mom who lived across the hall of his apparent complex. He would babysit her daughter for a little extra cash.  The girl had a hamster and a dog. While she loved her rodent, her dog Spot was her best friend. When he was watching her one day, her hamster escaped from his cage.  While scurrying around looking for him, the young girl accidentally stepped on him, resulting in his death. Leo, hating to have to see her sad, picked up the hamster and tried to muster up the same amount of emotional energy he had when he brought Tino back.  His arm got really warm and he felt exhausted, and that’s how he knew it worked. She was so happy, but only for a second. In the other room, they discovered her French Bulldog Spot laying dead on the floor. He died suddenly while eating from his bowl. The girl wept and yelled; and Leo just knew it was his fault even though she wasn’t blaming him.  He knew the universe needed balance; a life for a life.

He left that city and went to the next.  He has to leave every few months due to the spirits finding him, and he can’t handle the constant noise on his head.  He’s afraid of death, every time anything dies he panics. It doesn’t matter if it’s a mouse, plant, or insect. He’s afraid he’s going to accidentally bring it back and end up killing something else.  He’s more anxious than he’s ever been, and has resulted to petty crime just to get by. He steals what he needs and breaks into model homes to sleep. It’s a horrible life, but at least he’s not bombarded with constant screeching from souls he can’t help.  His once friendly demeanor has changed to one that is closed off. Getting close to anyone is useless, since he’ll be gone in 6 months anyway. He’s lonely and scared. The longer he has these powers the more frightened he becomes of them. They are the worst thing to ever happen to him.  

When he came across The School the small remnants of his hopeful personality sparked.  He thought, just for a second, that maybe these people could help him. Maybe they could help him control or get rid of it.  There was a possibility for him to have a better life. In less than a day though he decided against that, because it was best to keep on doing what he was doing since it was guaranteed to work.  It had for three years anyway. These people, this place, he knew nothing of it. He didn’t want to be stuck somewhere where getting help was only a slim chance. Although, he’s coming to realize that walking out isn’t going to be as easy as walking in.  

extras.

Headcanons -

He hates going to hospitals.  Whenever he goes he is bombarded with spirits trying to talk to him, even though it all sounds like a blur.  It’s so loud that he can’t hear a live person speaking. However, graveyards are surprisingly quiet.

He learned how to ballroom dance for his senior prom, and surprised his then girlfriend during the dance.

He blames his magic for the way his life has turned out and thinks he’d be better off without it.  

He hasn’t spoken to his family in over two years and it kills him everyday.  Although, he has a fake social media account so he can check up on them.

No one knows about his powers. He doesn’t trust anyone enough and he doesn’t want them to think he’s crazy.

He’s tried to burn his Nana’s Grimoire, but it won’t catch fire. Whenever he tries to ditch it, it comes back to him.

[diaryofagayaddict]

11/14/18

I’ve always had a problem with talking about people behind their backs. I can be a bit critical of people, and sometimes the people in my life do things that bother me and if it’s something minor that doesn’t seem worth pointing out to that person, my first instinct is to talk about it with someone else, to vent and get it off my chest. As a child, I knew it was bad to talk about your friends behind their backs, and I knew it was better to be nice to people than mean. One time a girl became my friend and I realized that she just annoyed the hell out of me- she was very talkative and never listened, and I slowly started to be unable to stand her. I never wanted to tell her this or be mean to her so I’d swallow my feelings until one day I exploded on her after she said something minor and I ended up punching and kicking her. This was when I realized that sometimes it can be good to vent if it’s a choice between that and exploding on someone. I’ve never been great at direct confrontation, and sometimes I wonder whether I should tell my friends and people in my life when they do things that bother me, or if I need to learn to ignore things and not let them get to me. Right now I’m dealing with a friend who is causing me some inner turmoil and pain and I’m struggling with deciding whether to tell her how her actions have hurt me, or whether to just let everything slide and not tell her anything. I was talking to my therapist about her and how I had been waiting all week to vent about her because I have been trying to do less venting to friends and family because it’s just a bad habit i’m trying to break out of. My therapist suggested I work out my feelings about my friend who’s been bothering me by writing about it, so that way I’m not talking about her behind her back, but I can still have somewhere to work out my feelings, so here we go.

I met (let’s call her) Rachel in college and we realized we had a lot of strange similarities, primarily the same uncommon combination of nationalities, same last name and same birthday. When I met her she was a bit of a mess because she was on a lot of drugs, but I never had a sister and all our similarities made me feel like she was a troubled long lost twin of mine. Even though she drove me crazy sometimes (ok a lot of the time) back then, I felt responsible for her and I always stuck by her side because I really did see her as my sister, and I’m a very loyal friend in general. Once I decide that I care about someone and that they’re important in my life, I try to be the best most supportive friend possible. So even while Rachel had a bad friend breakup with another mutual friend of ours, I took Rachel’s side because I saw her as my sister, despite knowing that she can be intense. After graduation, Rachel stopped doing hard drugs and moved to LA. I lived with my parents for a few years before deciding I wanted to try living somewhere new and different. Of course I wanted a place with legal weed, nice weather and a prominent gay scene, so I also moved to Los Angeles. I think I thought I had more friends here than I actually did, but I also definitely thought that Rachel would be a better friend than she was. She let me stay in her apartment for two weeks which was incredibly nice of her, although I don’t think it was that much of an imposition because she basically lives at her boyfriend’s house and I barely saw her when I was staying in her apartment. I soon got my own place and realized that Rachel never wanted to go out or do anything. She has a job and a boyfriend now, and I am so glad she’s off drugs and not constantly partying, but at the same time she truly never wants to do anything except go to work and go home to her boyfriend. 

The saddest thing is that even when I do see her, she’s so self involved it actually blows my mind. I invited her to visit my aunt in Ojai and she was fighting with her boyfriend and texting and calling him the whole time. She was barely appreciative or thankful to my aunt for inviting us to a beautiful little house in a beautiful place, and she even tried to get me to leave in the middle of the night because my snoring was bothering her. The moment I realized she was hands down the most selfish friend I’ve ever had was when I saw her grab a big water bottle before we hit the road and I said it was good she brought water because I forgot mine, and she told me I couldn’t drink any of her water because it was too expensive. I had never in my life until then had someone I considered a close friend tell me I couldn’t  even have a sip of their water because it was too much money. That really broke my heart and that was when I realized she really isn’t a friend to me at all ,much less a close one. Since then she’s contacted me about once every two months at most while being my only friend in Los Angeles and KNOWING she’s my only friend in los angeles. Whenever I mention how lonely I am here she’s like “yeah it’s too bad you don’t know more people here” as if she didn’t have the power to reduce my loneliness simply by being a marginally better friend. I’m just really heartbroken and disappointed by her because I thought we were close and for some reason I made the mistake of thinking I could count on her, but in retrospect i had no reason to believe she would be a supportive or considerate friend, since she’d never really been that for me. The thing is, I thought that she was self centered because she was on drugs all the time, but now that she’s not on drugs I’ve realized that she’s just a self centered person, and it’s been hard to learn and accept that. 

I could go on and on about all the ways she could have been a better friend, but there’s not really a point. I just needed to vent my disillusionment with a little backstory so I could work out why I’m really upset with her. For some reason I feel most disappointed in myself for failing to realize what a selfish person she’s been this whole time, and maybe that upsets me because it reminds me of my relationship trauma where I failed to see that my boyfriend didn’t care about me as much as i thought he did. It’s hard to accept that we’re not always able to detect who can be counted on and who can’t. I also think that it’s frustrating for me to see her have a job and a boyfriend who loves her when I don’t have those things, but I don’t want a relationship like hers because I feel really bad for her boyfriend. She is so manipulative and inconsiderate of others’ needs and feelings, but apparently he’s super into that so there’s nothing I can do to help him. 

In a way I am thankful to her for being such a mindblowingly shitty friend because it taught me to branch out and strike up conversation with random people. I used to be introverted when I lived somewhere that i had friends, but when you’re this deprived of social interaction, any interaction becomes an opportunity for conversation or friendship. I’m moving back to the east coast from LA because even though it’s been an interesting experience, it’s been incredibly lonely. I miss my real friends who actually ask about my day and who actually want to spend time with me. I hope one day Rachel realizes what she took for granted when I was here.