#not to fandompost but like ndsbdnxn every day it becomes more and more embarrassing to think abt the communist book club in de
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#meg talks#feeling sad abt union failures (so far. not giving up yet.)#not to fandompost but like ndsbdnxn every day it becomes more and more embarrassing to think abt the communist book club in de#like damn actually it rlly is just u and one other guy who sees ur vision. if ur even that lucky#and u have to push through the embarrassment of being brushed off and ignored#and the mortifying ordeal of laying out all the ways that ur caught in a vulnerable position and in need of solidarity#only for ppl to not rlly be interested bc their position is more comfortable and so they don’t feel the need#even tho they do actually need it too bc their position could be lost at any moment for no reason at all#and also the envy and shame looking at ppl who pulled off what u haven’t been able to#my friend at my job quit without even having another job lined up bc work conditions became so bad#and i just feel rlly sad and ig guilty that i couldn’t mobilize people sooner so that this wouldn’t have had to happen#like idk. maybe if i was more charismatic or had the money and the constitution to go hang out more w ppl#but well i am who i am w the experiences and knowledge that i have and that’s all i can be or have#so ig ill just keep on pushing and embarrassing myself and smelling of failure jssbdjxn bc how else do u get anything done#sigh. whatever. i just wish i felt less alone in this
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