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Decided to start posting my love letters here, since they’re essentially what my text posts used to be 💖 I want to get in the habit of dedicating time every night for my devotion to my darling, and even if he never sees these I know this offering of love will help satiate me until I see him again 💖

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Its been a while~

Due to life’s incessant twists I did unfortunately need to take a step back from the blog but I am happy to announce a steady return! Some updates for those curious: my newest obsession is an absolute darling, we met barely a week after my birthday which I believe is the BEST gift I’ve ever received, and although he has yet to know of my yan tendencies he is such a doting and precious lover 💖 We’re actually going to move in together soon!! Which means I can spend all day admiring his every detail, every night listening in to his peaceful sleepy snores, and memorize every motion of his, and be the only one he thinks of, and be with him forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever

Ahem.

Excuse me.

Any way for those curious I do also have an art blog under the name @cindyrubycutie though I don’t ever mention yan stuff there since I know not all audiences are open to that.

I’m hoping to post my love letters from my digital diary here soon 💖

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I want to scream it out loud

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I fit so perfectly on your arms, darling~

Please don't ever let me go

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I'll be your bride eventually, darling~

I've chosen you, and once my mind is made up on who owns my heart, that decision rarely changes

I'll pursue you until the end of time my love

Until I get the chance to say "I Do"

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Last night you told me you always had to hold yourself back when kissing me because you were afraid of losing control of yourself

My sweet, silly prince...

isn't that the whole point?

Get obsessed with me, addicted to me, crazed for me

I don't mind at all ♥

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I love how obvious you pine for me, darling~

I love seeing how you go out of your way to come over to caress my face, or take a moment regardless of what you're in the middle of doing to gaze into my eyes for a little while 💖

I love seeing you completely walk past all other girls in the room to address me first 💖

Glad I'm the only lady on your mind 💖

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You're falling right into my spiderweb, my silly darling~

The promise of intimacy is just much too enticing, isn't it my love? ♥ And it was just so easy to get you lusting after me, I almost feel sorry for you!

Almost.

I've watched the way your eyes get fixated on me when I wear those special outfits just for you. Do you think it's an accident when my skirt is just too tight? Do you think I don't notice as I get ready in the morning? Oh not in the slightest, my prince! In fact, it's very much a purposeful act of mine to wear the more form-fitting looks. I know you like them ♥

I've already got you asking to spend hours alone with me in passionate romance... do you not see the claws of mine beckoning you towards me? Can you not see the malicious satisfaction behind my eyes as I listen to your flirtations and promises of carnal indulgences?

Do you not understand that you are my prey?

Be very, very careful, darling~

For if you do end up completely in my arms, without a single person to interrupt my time with you...

I'll make sure to sink my claws into your skin

And poison you with my kisses

Until you are too addicted to ever think of breaking free ♥♥♥

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Your voice makes me absolutely melt, darling~

I could listen to you for hours 💖

Your dulcet tones are my favorite song

And it's the only voice that will ever matter to me

Everyone else is just background noise

All obscuring the pure beauty in your accent

The absolute melody that is your intonations

I wish the world would just shut up

You're the only voice I ever want to hear

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You kiss me so passionately, darling~

I can feel your desperation for me, your need for more, your wish to never stop

You kiss me like you're trying to steal my soul from me

I'd let you have it if you just asked~

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I finally have my own picture of you, darling~

Isn't it funny how easily one can find social media accounts these days? ♥ You said you rarely used it in a passing conversation to someone else and I of course had to look for myself. It was wrong of me to doubt you, and I know that, I'm just so used to pathetic liars covering up something that I didn't expect it to be true, but there it was! Old accounts that have barely been touched in years, with only a handful of photos in them.

I got to see you as a teenager darling ♥ Do you think if we had met back then that we would be as perfect for each other as we are now? Could you think of a life where we were never apart from each other? Of course your upbringing was in a place so much farther away than me, but it's fun to think of, right? ♥

I saw snippets of your family too ♥ Old comments from nearly a decade ago doting on how handsome you were with the classic swoopy hairstyle so many boys back in the early 2000's had. How right they were ♥ I know you're still close to them darling, I listen in on all the phone calls you make at work and I can hear the respect you have for them all ♥ Would they welcome me in? Would they see me as a suitable wife for you? I'm sure they would ♥

I also found an image of an old girlfriend... what a stupid girl... to think any woman would give you up is ridiculous to me. How idiotic must she be to have a man as kind, sincere and unique as you, and to waste that??? I won't make that same mistake. No. I intend to keep you for eternity. I intend on being the last girl you ever think of ♥

And guess what, oh beautiful angel of mine~

I screenshotted some of those pictures ♥ Yes, yes I did!!! My favorite is the last one, with the sunglasses? You know the one, you're so dashing in it it's wonderful~ And now I can admire that gorgeous face of yours always!!! I can kiss you goodnight and kiss you good morning and kiss you and kiss you and kiss you andkissyouandkissyouandkissyouandkissyouand

well.

You get it ♥

I won't ever tell you though ♥

♥♥♥ It's much more fun admiring you in secret ♥♥♥

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I can't seem to draw you, darling... it's truly the most peculiar thing...

For all of my past lovers I've easily sketched their likeness from memory, and still can to this day, but the moment I try to capture how absolutely dashing you are on a page I can never get it quite right... at least, not all of you. I always get stuck on your eyes.

I can easily replicate your mischievous grin, and your beautiful frame, but the moment I get to your eyes I always get so flustered... much like how in person the moment I realize our eyes have met for longer than a moment and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. I just cant seem to get myself to get the way your eyelids droop so perfectly, and the way they peer straight through me... at least, not from memory.

You mind if I stare into your eyes forever, until I get them just right next time?

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To my new target~

Well hello there, darling~

I've eyed you for many months now, watching the movement of your hands, the glint of your eyes, the hearty chuckle that engulfs you entirely, everything ♥

Do you realize how beautiful you are? The sleekness of your black hair? The charm in those eternally tired eyes? The seductive nature of your exquisite frame? How perfect your body is to me?

You never realize it, but I'm always sneaking glances at you my love ♥ I can't help it ♥ When those long arms of yours reach up, and your shirt lifts oh so slightly, do you never see my eyes side glancing, taking in every detail I can?

I know you've noticed how I'm unable to keep constant eye contact with you. You're just so goddamn beautiful... I can't stand it. I can't handle it. The moment our eyes meet all I wish is to be enraptured in your embrace, my hands gliding up those delicious back muscles of yours, being entirely yours!!!

And that kindness of yours, oh my GOD!! I've barely had you to myself and yet you already shower me with my favorite treats?? The way you hug me so tight the moment you get the chance to??? The way you adamantly and openly show your support for me?? My god it's addictive...

I left an old partner for you. Did you know that? Did you know that I spent months analyzing the two of you, and you emerged the victor?

I've made it obvious that I want you, but do you have any idea of the extent this love of mine entails? I know you see my curves and my promises of affection at whatever time you need, but are you ready to be afflicted with the curse that is my infatuation? You received my first gift with such appreciation; do you realize this is the first offering for you? Do you know that this was my first act of devotion? That I'd give you anything you asked of me?

You've already kissed me, you foolish, beautiful man...

...are you ready to be my new obsession, darling?

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My favorite thing about when you visit is getting the chance to watch you through the peep hole ♥

Do you know how rhythmic your movements are? How perfect your strong legs swing in strides? How you shoulders rock from side to side? How your silhouette makes me shiver?

I could watch you for hours~♥

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Source: Jisatsu Circle / 自殺サークル

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"After all... I just can't help it,"

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Hes hot but fucking insane i hate it here.