#not to brag but im friends with this asshole 2 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roomofshroom · 2 years

Text

my kyman headcanons (18+)

i love others' headcanons so i thought id share my own <3 these are mostly 18+ but not all of them are!! if you dont agree w some of them its ok its mostly for fun!!

hey there's a part 2 !!!!

kyle would mostly call eric cartman and eric would try to secretly find ways to get him to call him eric more

when kyle does occasionally call cartman by his first name it's when they're getting intimate so eric associates kyle calling him by his first name with sexy times and then gets ...excited anytime kyle says his name which makes for some very funny situations

they would hide that they're in a relationship for the first few weeks but their friends would have their suspicions anyways bc they're not fucking blind and the way eric looks at kyle just says it all (not stan tho, mfer is blind af)

they would tease each other, name call each other in front of their friends and their fights would get very heated but for different reasons than others have in mind

cartmans a little brat and enjoys when kyle gets angry so much he purposely makes him angry in front of their friends, just for them to dissappear and angrily make out in a closet or somewhere secluded

stan would be oblivious to that and call cartman an asshole for getting kyle mad and then he'd worry ab his best friend when he suddenly dissappears w/o a trace

kyle doesn't want to admit it but he likes it when eric tries to get him riled up and sometimes he even exaggerates his angry reactions just to see eric get those excited sparks in his eyes

when they finally tell their friends they're together stan throws up (mf was oblivious the whole time), kenny asks them VERY personal questions ab positions they've done together, butters is happy for them and congratulates them, craig says he had known the whole entire time ('you guys are so blindingly fucking gay it's making my eyes hurt'), tweek would hand him 5 dollars (mfers made a bet out of it), clyde would say to tolkien that he's worried ab them checking him out and tolkien would just tell him to stfu bc 'being gay doesnt mean they wanna fuck you, no one wants to fuck you, clyde'

now that everyone knows, eric would brag to everyone ab not being a virgin anymore and jokingly try to go into details ab their sex life which kyle would VERY QUICKLY shut down and blush the entire time

eric now calls stan a virgin million times a day, asks him if hes jealous that hes 'getting that sweet sweet jewish ass' and constantly remind him that hes 'fucking his best friend nya nya nya hahaha' while kyle tells him to stfu

eric gets a stupid fucking tattoo 3 month into the relationship something like a fucking arrow pointing to his ass saying 'kyle was here' or i dont fucking know, anyways kyle would hate it and call him fucking insane

when kyle finds himself in a deep convo w anyone else thats not their friend or eric himself, eric always interrupts to make SURE they know kyle's HIS man so 'don't try to steal my man bitch' while he snaps his fingers and leaves w a dramatic hair whip (nonexistent long hair)

eric would be very veeeeery clingy while kyle would get slightly controlling sometimes just to quickly realize and get mad at himself (eric loves it when kyle's controlling and jealous so he doesn't mind)

eric would cry and whine about the dumbest shit ever ('mom said im not allowed my xbox bc i keep yelling at others in the game to kill themselves waaa khal, isnt she such a fucking bitch?') and kyle has to comfort him bc 'that's his boyfriend duty', kyle would call him a fucking crybaby which would only cause cartman to cry louder forcing kyle to shut him up somehow (maybe with a kiss)

#kyman #kyman headcanons #kyle x eric #kyle x cartman #sp kyman #sp kyle broflovski #sp eric cartman #south park headcanons

307 notes · View notes

pub-lius · 1 year

Text

lafayette throws it back at versailles not clickbait (lafayette pt. 2)

im not gonna lie, this is my favorite part of lafayette's life to talk about. he was so teenage boy i love it. anyway, if you missed out on part one, here's the link. @thereallvrb0y and other esteemed guests, i hope you enjoy

Court Life

Lafayette was presented at the Court of Versailles on Saturday, March 26, 1774 when he was 16. I'm not gonna go super in depth about how the court works (but it is very interesting, i recommend learning about it), but i will tell you that Gilbert was the biggest black sheep, which was unideal because the court was already judgmental as hell.

Several different people described how awkward Lafayette's demeanor was, and it made a lot of people think he was just rude. Lafayette said this was only made worse "by the gaucheness of my manners which, without being out of place on any important occasion, never yielded to the graces of the court or to the charms of supper in the capital." -Mémoires

The Comte de Ségur was a close friend, who recognized that Gilbert wasn't just an asshole, and he was deep down a very passionate person. (Ségur experienced this first hand when Lafayette tried to duel him over a girl that Ségur didn't even know).

His awkwardness wasn't helped when he danced with Marie Antoinette and, well... "...the Queen could not stop herself from laughing." -Correspondance entre le Comte de Mirabeau et le Comte de La Marck

When I say Lafayette was very passionate deep down, it wasn't actually... that deep down, and he still proved himself to be his rebellious teenage self in what I like to call the Comte de Provence Incident.

The Comte de Provence was the brother of Louis XVI, and, obviously, held a major place in court. Like the king, he had a little entourage of men who followed him around and did whatever he said. This was a position that offered a lot of opportunities, but you didn't just. insert yourself into it. You had to be invited. And, at the time, The Noailles family was trying to find a permanent place for Lafayette at Versailles.

So, in 1775, the Maréchal de Noailles tried to get Lafayette in this little entourage, and had to introduce him to Provence, an opportunity for which came in the form of a masked ball before Lent (in France, this is just a lame Mardi Gras).

This would have gone fine if Lafayette wasn't completely determined to fuck shit up. so.

Lafayette and Provence were talking (wearing masks, this is an important detail), and Provence started bragging about how good his memory was. Lafayette responded by saying "memory is a fool's intellect". Provence was like "uhhh wtf" and just assumed that Lafayette didn't realize he was the King's brother, so he said "do you realize who the fuck you're talking to you little shit" (obviously not a direct quote, it was in French.) And. Lafayette responded. just being like. "yeah lolz"

So, he didn't get a place at Versailles.

Which is kinda stupid! He should not have done that! Because at this time he was really trying to get a rank in the French army, and he could have had a better opportunity, but whatever because he was granted a command for a full company in Metz.

Uh oh, suspicious shit is going on

While in Metz (not really doing anything important), Lafayette met Comte de Broglie, who was the ambassador of Metz. Broglie was suspicious as fuck and had a career of weird secret projects under the crown, including a plan to invade England.

Broglie had heard of the American cause (which was, at this point, pretty far along and going to shit). He thought that Washington was replaceable, and that he could lead the rebel forces, and then colonize them for France. Not! Good!!

When Broglie met Lafayette, he was like.... this kid is. dumb as fuck. So, he introduced him into his circle, therefore introducing him to Revolutionary ideology. Little gullible Gilbert saw Broglie as like an idol, and since Broglie was a Freemason, Laf decided to become one too. This was significant because being a Freemason is the reason Gilbert met Prince William Henry, Duke of Gloucester and Edinburg. If you're like "hmmm Prince William Henry, Duke of Gloucester and Edinburg, that name rings a bell", you're a nerd, and its because he was King George III's younger brother who was weirdly supportive of the colonies' rebellion.

Along with Prince William Henry, Duke of Gloucester and Edinburg and Broglie I guess, Gilbert was introduced to the ideals of Abbé Guillame Raynal, who preached anti-monarchy, anti-clergy, and anti-slavery rhetoric. So, basically, Lafayette was radicalized and became a blue haired liberal.

Eventually, Broglie and "Baron" Johann de Kalb (he's in Duty and Inclination in case you were wondering) to go to America woo!!!

Side note on de Kalb, he's not evil like Broglie, though he did know about the plan. He ended up legitimately helping the revolution, so shout out de Kalb

Lafayette convinced his buddy Ségur and his brother in law, Vicomte de Noailles, to go with him. Together, they all visited Silas Deane, who is a fucking dumbass who kept giving French people paid commands without permission from Congress *foreshadowing noise*

Lafayette used all six of his sweet wholesome cinnamon roll twink braincells to create a plan to get out of France without getting caught, and the author of The Marquis; Lafayette Reconsidered, Laura Auricchio, has a very good take on Lafayette's character shown in this instance:

“Although he often described himself as a man of action, Lafayette was more deliberative than he let on, and he habitually watched and waited before determining the best way to proceed; once he chose his course, however, it was almost impossible to steer him away.” -Laura Auricchio

So, the pact to join the American Revolution between Lafayette Ségur and Noailles was made in October 1776. Lafayette was optimistic, as always, but still expected nothing but obstacles, the most formidable of them being from the Noailles family.

First things first, they met with Deane, as I mentioned, with de Kalb translating. They signed a letter of agreement on December 7, 1776, which completely overlooked the fact that Lafayette had 0 qualifications to be a major general. Then, Lafayette bought a ship named La Victoire. The Gang (tm) met continuously in secret.

Then, Lafayette sent two letters, one to Adrienne, and the other to duc d'Ayen, explaining his departure and expressing his regret, especially since Adrienne was pregnant and raising their young daughter.

Quick breakdown of the Lafayette kids: Henriette du Motier de Lafayette was born on Decmeber 15, 1775, making Lafayette a girl dad from the beginning. Adrienne was pregnant with Anastasie Louise Pauline du Motier de Lafayette when Gilbert departed, and she gave birth to her on July 1, 1777. You can tell which two were born after the Revolution just by their names: Georges Washington Louis Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette (born December 24, 1779 after Lafayette's visit back to France), and Marie Antoinette Virginie du Motier de Lafayette, known as Virginie (a reference to Virginia), (born on November 2, 1782, after Lafayette returned home after Yorktown).

Lafayette's disappearance was... a massive scandal. And you may be thinking "why? like yeah he's rich but clearly no one likes him, who cares where he goes?"

The king. The king cares where he goes. The main reason being that France was not openly at war with England aaand Lafayette may or may not have met King George III. Personally. Like a few weeks before he left. Aaaand the British government might just assume that a nobleman of such high status, that they knew personally, leaving to join the colonies' rebellion is an act of war. so. the king cares a lot.

D'Ayen panicked and wrote to Louis XVI telling him that Lafayette was gone like the good bootlicker snitch he is, and Louis issued orders for Lafayette's arrest. He was almost caught a couple times, so he had to travel in disguise (this is why people talk about him dressing up as a woman, tho we can't really prove or disprove that), but La Victoire set sail before they could catch him, and Lafayette embarked on his first very seasick journey across the sea.

This one is a little short, because if I had gone into as much detail about how everything works, it would be unnecessarily long, and the next few will likely be unnecessarily long because they are about the Revolution *eagle screech* so yeah, look out for that

#history #amrev #marquis de lafayette #lafayette #adrienne de lafayette #henriette de lafayette #american history #french history #frev #amrev history #do it for richie 💪

37 notes · View notes

natsu-tatsu · 1 month

Text

Being blown off by a Tist.

I've actually managed to calm down a decent bit the past few months, but I still plan to throw stuff in here sometimes. For myself, if nothing else.

So I pose a question.

Is it just me, or are Hypnotists super flakey?

Has anyone else been blown off by a Tist, multiple times, perhaps day after day? I've worked with a few Tists and while some are substantially better than other in terms of skill, dedication and actual... vibe, energy, wanting to be there.

A common issue I've had with Hypnotists is they're flakey as hell. I have a good friend that I've only worked with a bit overall but he's been very kind to me! That's said, after maybe 2 or 3 sessions he started becoming super spotty, like disappearing for hours when we WERE supposed to have a session and then not getting back to me until he say my disappointed responses from the night before. This was made even worse when HE would offer me sessions of his own violation and then disappear on me the same way. I'll admit I bit his head off, and I really got mean with him and I am sorry about it tbh but I couldn't bottle it up anymore either. But we talked it out and he agreed it was fucked up to get my hopes up and then leave me hanging all night without even a heads up of like "Oh yea hey I'm not gonna be able to"

He gets a pass. Then there's the crazy fuckers.

I had this one really super shit Tist come onto me in a fairly niche Server, (It was, at the time, male and hypnosis centric). Now I struggle goin' under, I can't really use Files to any effect, and I can't put myself under. I've given it some seriously earnest attempts. Likewise, finding a good long-term Hypnotist is trying to find a piece of hay in a needlestack.

So when, after like 2-3 years around these gay hypno spaces online, I have this Hypnotist guy not only come onto me, but be super interested in helping me become a better subject and going under easier. I was ecstatic, and I think it only took like 2 weeks for trouble to show with this prick.

First and foremost, word of advice. If a "Tist" gives you a session and offers more but demands, you hypnotize HIM first. RED FLAG.

Seriously, I gave him my best go cuz I am a Switch and for a good period of time, had surrendered myself to being strictly a Hypnotist so I could engage in my Fetish SOMEHOW even if being a difficult subject was impeding me. And he liked it, and he agreed to work with me more.

Until he didn't. There was never a formal, "Oh, I'm not interested in you anymore." Rather this "bisexual" would run around a gay centric space IN A GENERAL CHAT to brag about "boobs are so good you guys don't know what your missing" and "my girlfriend is such an amazing sub, I've trained her so well." RED FLAG.

He was also blowing me off. Like to a ridiculous degree. It took me maybe? A month or so to realize asking him for sessions was pointless cuz he would either say no upfront or say yes and blow me off anyway. I've literally given him subtle reminders about our agreed session times like "Oh hey im excited for the next hour to pass" stuff like that and his ass would literally ignore me.

But Discord literally shows when your playing Steam games when your online. And when I see, that at our session time your useless ass has fired up Stellaris and it's only been 5 minutes of play time, RED FLAG.

My blood is actually boiling just remembering his useless ass. Suffice to say, these are two extreme examples. My best and worst being ditched for a planned session, from a good Hypnotist and also a truly asshole shit tier Tist.

I've got a lot of less notable being flaked out on by Hypnotist experiences tho a lot of them will do that before ever working with you in my experience.

Does anyone else also feel like tists are super flakey and unreliable???

1 note · View note

starssie · 2 months

Text

Vent tw; cursing, mentions of semi racial jokes, somewhat sexual sayings and whatever else there might be.

Am I the asshole? This is the question that's been in my head for the past few days and i think its all hitting me hard now. My friend, not saying his name, but anyways, hes been my friend for like 2 or 3 years now, and I've had my hamster, Gundham for about 2 years, just got told he might have cancer a few weeks ago and I cried over it, Ive also mentioned my best friend, not saying her name, to him as well, hes made a lot of racial jokes and even requested to have her insta, so I have it to him bc I want my friends to be friends, only to get told by her that he had been spamming her with videos and multiple if them had been racial jokes, shes black and most definitely a better friend than him, so I said she should block him and she did just that saying she didnt want to be friends, understandable, but he keeps making jokes about her, and sure, I know he means nothing by them, but it's still so rude and I've told him to stop. Hes stopped, but that's only because Im not hanging out or calling that much. He constantly spams my phone with videos and when he does try to call and u don't answer he's like "hoe, why aren't you answering" and other stuff along the lines of that, I have my own life. And now that Ive mentioned that my hamster, which I love dearly because he helped me through my depression (which like, sure small animal that can't do anything, but taking care of him helped make me take care of myself) has cancer, hes now making jokes even though I have mentioned that I cried over the news. Not to mention, but he has absolutely no filter, and constantly brags that "men are tighter than women" which I do not care, (hes gay, which I support, but he talks about it way too much and it's getting on my nerves, because I myself am bi, and sexuality us not the biggest deal and doesn't affect anyone's elses lives in a single way) hes constantly making disgusting jokes as to which I have made it painfully obvious I am not comfortable with and hes constantly bringing up disgusting ideas of "videos" we could make together when we're older. I'm tired of it. I genuinely want to cut off contact with him but I love his family because they feel like family to me. And not to mention how much of a people pleaser I am.

#tw vent #vent #am i the asshole

0 notes

i-wanna-fly-high-to-the-sky · 5 months

Text

Rant

I feel so horrible and lonely all the time. Im struggling so much and I feel like the only one I can rely on is myself. My parents are assholes who are never happy with me and always telling me how to live my life. I have like 2 friends left who arent only online and i can meet with sometimes... My coworker is siding with what my parents told me (that i should find another job and mind you HE IS MY COWORKER I KNOW OUR PAYMENT SUCKS BUT) and he told me that i need better payment to start a family (WHICH I HAVE TALKED ABOUT A LOT OF TIMES THAT I DONT WANT AND THAT THIS IS MAKING ME ANGRY AND I REALLY DONT WANT A FAMILY IF I STAY IN THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE I DONT WANT ANY CHILDREN OF MINE TO GO THROUGH THE SAME PEOPLE THAT ARE STILL ACTIVELLY RUINING MY MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH).

So yeah. I feel like I have no one and like I never had anyone to love me and support me and it hurts so bad and i dont even know what i am living for. I will try to just prioritize myself now and take care of myself since no one else cares about me and what i want. So im going to leave some people and never talk to them again. It hurts a lot but if i dont do it i will keep hurting because i need to be loved and they dont care about me they obly care about my image and to have something to brag about. Im not a toy or a pet im not a possession im not an object im a living person with feelings, thoughts, wants, dreams and needs. If you dont love me or respect me then what do i need you for?

#rant #ok to interact

0 notes

jolynelovemail-moved · 7 years

Note

hey guys not to brag but im friends with this asshole and they're great (minus the 86 times they sent the word 'snart' to me on discord)

how dare you be mean to me snart is my middle name my mom chose that

#asks #fuc ily sam #not to brag but im friends with this asshole 2 #iyamidong

1 note · View note

bluewinnerangel · 2 years

Note

DEMY ARE YOU STILL WITH US?!

CAN YOU CONFIRM HE IS IN FACT REAL?!

I am on the other side of the world and still can’t move on from this. How does anyone with daily contact with him survive?

ALSO HIS SHIRT. ALSO HIS LIL CURL His curl I couldn't stop watching.... I got the good stuff men i was bless-ed my show fucking ruled so fking hard

Also orange shirt plus Teenage Dirtbag in Amsterdam? This plus that equals:

Also

I just wanna put this pic somewhere too where he might or might not be looking at me and my funny lil shirt im not gonna tell u what it is because i might wanna wear it again and i don't need to be recognised but like who knows its half a pixel but I love these pics lol like the experience bro to experience HIM. LIKE. HE'S REAL. HE'S THERE AND HE WAS SO GOOD. SO AMAZING.

Okay I'll try to stop all-capsing now and tell you all about it. Gonna put a cut in because BLAAAAA about the entire thing including a lot of personal experience queueing and seeing the fans and stuff so if you're here to read a beautiful written concert review about all the songs you're shit outta luck that mans everything i have no words for how mindblowing it was but ill throw some pics at the end to make up for all the rambling ok:

Before the concert - So first of all I have to acknowledge how much of a privilege it is to even be able to watch him like that, not just that he's got a show somewhere close enough to you it doesn't cost you a fortune to even be there (and then still.. to even be able to afford a ticket), and managing to get a ticket in the first place, but I joined the queue in the afternoon the day before in order to be sure of a good spot without being an asshole about it sdfasd (with that I mean, others ensured their spots with other tactics causing quite the.. vibe.. at the front there. It's not even the "cutting line" I'm bothered by it's the part where they'd just brag over and over how they did that. Like you're trying to make people around you feel like shit or start an argument like do you wanna get punched by a horde of exhausted people or what like let's just all enjoy the show instead maybe). Anyway about the privilege thing. You have to be able to afford the time and money to accommodate yourself and also.. who the fuck does that for anyone? that's insane it's absolute fucking insanity what the fuck are all of us what the fuck does this man do to us that we do that for him like it's. ridiculous. I can't believe how willing I was to do that ksadjlakj. I didn't think I was. I don't think it makes sense to do this. I'm gonna be honest here I don't enjoy this aspect of the fandom, this need to be in the first box of people to enter, to run to barricade (tbh that part was kinda fun), to exhaust yourself for 24+ hours, remove comfort, perhaps endanger yourself if you aren't able to do it properly for health reasons or just naivety or whatever, to all keep inching the time you need to be there to get a regular spot further up and up and up as tour goes on until people are claiming the venue doors a full 2 days in advance. And even on the day like if you wanna be in the first 2000 to get in you need to be there for like 8 hours (im just saying numbers here like these are prob total bs but you get the point) like either you camp to be in the first lil clump of people that are let in, or you just arrive just before it starts. Those are your options really. To be honest I wasn't planning on sitting there for 24hrs but I did, like on the spot I decided to stay, because I was there the day before just to bring my friends ( @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk and partner <3 EDIT: @caralara !!! I didn't know if you wanted to be tumblr official so I didn't tag but EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HI) some stuff for camping and then the plan was for me to go to sleep and join them early morning. But once the system was explained it was clear that would mean a lot of queueing by myself and I just wanted to be with them so I stayed and we managed and were somehow still prepared even though it was an improvised thing. It was actually really fun, I didn't mind any of it really. But that was 100% the company. And in that regard I do get this whole... situation we got going on before every show where fans are just all have a big camp out. It's addictive even, it's part of the whole experience, I do really get it, but for that aspect of it, not for the need to be at the front over and over again. That's just... an amazing perk then. Like really I'd queue again if there are people in it that I wanna hang out with and I wouldn't see them otherwise, but in no way am I sitting outside for that long solely to get a good spot at a concert. Even if that's louis. And the best fucking thing I've ever seen. Anyway on friday we just snoozed with a view of the tour bus which was like.. a night under the stars get it asddsf. The next day we sat in the front lil box for the special first 150 and it was funny to recognize a lot of common fandom faces and then figuring out from what exactly.

I also talked to one of the people working at the venue, and they said they've only seen something similar 4 or 5 events in the 20 years they've been doing this work, but they were all huge and in Ziggo Dome, another venue at that square. They also let us store our stuff in lockers beforehand at that venue instead (but i think a lot of people already had means to store their stuff)... I guess they got the memo we would NOT take ANY time putting those safe whatsoever once the doors opened. literally people were willing to risk their lives and possessions for a good spot. Really just all logic is out the window for louis tomlinson istg and I knew this of course but seeing it all around me was new. Oh but talking to other fans? TALKING TO ELLA? my PEOPLE my PEEOPLLLEEEEE I'm SO happy I got to meet you two you are such amazing amazing kind souls we're absolutely gonna meet again weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So it got pretty shit about 2 hrs before we could get in, because the sun was JUST behind the building and all of us had already stored all our stuff and the temp was being weird, like it almost heated up and then it didn't so we weren't doin too well luv and that was the first moment I really felt like this wasn't it this wasn't the way akasljsal.

Inside - Once the doors opened of course it was total chaos and we ran and managed to get on what I think was 4th row? but by the end it was like 6 or 7. We were slightly to the left, this is the exact spot with the help of louis pointing at me of course its potato footage:

There was a water sent into the crowd, us and the people in front and behind us had a job like we were constantly busy handing over plastic cups, both full ones into the crowd and empty ones back, it got a bit less motivated to keep that up after a while but let me tell you i NEEDED that water and so i also wanted everyone behind me to get it if they'd feel like me or worse. I was well hydrated, i needed to pee but you don't notice it at all with all the adrenaline, but with all the screaming and jumping and post covid lungs/throat you need it.

The intro is LOUD. LIKE. LOUD. Like I felt that everywhere and it adds to the buildup and anticipation perfectly and then the curtain falls and he walks in and I apparently look like a child with wonder in its eyes when he came on, because these bitches were filming me (<3) and I got to see my reaction and its .. askdljalks cute I guess. yeah and then he was just there. he was there. in HD boy real life in very high quality did you know that? and hes fucking perfect like seriously what the hell and he just-. I don't have words I don't get it. I was going in between losing my shit dancing and singing and everything, just standing there staring at him, and trying to take some pictures. Unfortunately the taking pictures caused me to miss his stupidass smileyface green wink flickering thing (did you pick that up online? Yeah it did.). I was taking pictures at that exact moment but it didn't catch it rip.

Another unfortunate bit was that my hearing got fucked from the beginning with all the screaming so I didn't get to fully experience his sound but it was already SO overwhelming in every other aspect I didn't even really mind plus the premise of seeing him again ASAP and experience it then, with the assumption I'll get a ticket (got my eyes on Antwerp so if anyone has one please) that is.

Then there were the stops... again... I don't know if it was just one person or multiple that needed assistance but the show got stopped 2 times and you can tell he's so fking sick of it. I was fking sick of it. Anyway shits not nice of me to say, perhaps these people were in big need of assistance for reasons out of anyone's control and it did end badly but you just get so desensitized to it when it happens constantly I'm just afraid people are either clueless to the point where they just didn't know they couldn't handle it, that with not knowing how to take care of themselves included, or knowing they can't but are willing to risk everything to see him... or they're exaggerating, perhaps not even consciously, to get an unfortunate notice. Like OmG LoUiS CaReS aBoUt Me yeah but do u care about louis anyway I'm just afraid of people, louis included, not responding anymore when there's a very critical emergency at some point and everyone yells to stop the show and louis is just like bitch here we go again whenever i stop the show everyones just good what are we doing lemme just continue? you know? I thought he said something like "really?" something too but it's all a blur.

have a pic have a pic

But man the ENERGY? THE CONFIDENCE? THE even though i know every single fucking bit of this show because ive watched lives 30+x times this was still just all so .. another level. Ella warned me beforehand that it's nothing like it. The lives are missing the sound the vibe the entire stage his whole body how he moves how he talks where he is within the space how awesome his band is the crowd EVERYTHING and man I was not prepared. I have a lil confession i always thought he was a lil awkward. Cute awkward but still... I thought he was awkward and turns out you can make the most confident man look awkward when you zoom in on their face performing without showing the rest of the performance, environment, nothing, and perhaps further made awkward by you as the viewer sitting in your pjs snacking in front of a screen watching it, who knew, apparently. BOY OH BOY he is NOT awkward. He owns that fking stage. What the fuck. Not even a lil bit. I was so so so wrong. I'm. intimidated lol (somehow wasnt at all when he pointed ... i was like YUUUUUHHH BROOOO BRING IT [my partner is telling me to make an edit of mad max where hes like HE LOOKED AT ME HE LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE!!!! i just might]) but yeah so yeah jesus christ omg.

picspics this is a ramble

As for things during the concert I noticed that were cute outside of the regular program... there was a sign in the crowd that said stage dive or something so he saw it, laughed at it, and then pretended to stage dive. it was cute af. he did rock paper scissors, he pointed and agreed with a sign that asked if they could smoke a joint together after the show, he cracked the absolute fuck up about a sign that said "stroganoff to get it wrong? In front of all these people" which was all the way to the right of the stage. Like he deadass just stayed in it it was so fking hilarious watching him just crackling.

He was vibing with someone off stage and making funny movements idk what it was but i was just staring like oh. He really loved some signs all the way to the left as well but I didn't know what they were.

He REALLY hated someone else that seemed to be at barrier on the left of the stage too, it was like... like a fucking dagger stabbed me lol he just gave them the 2 fingers british fuck you sign, then walked away not looking at them and flipping them off behind his back but it was with SUCH force. He was MAD. No idea what he saw but he was not happy. He then looked at one of the bandmembers like yeah they deserve it kinda thing.

He said "I see ya at the back" at some point and we looked back and didn't really see anything. There was a group cheering and jumping, so my best guess is he saw them vibing. There were pride flags on the balcony tho so it could have been that as well.

When he jumped off the stage during kmm we lost him for a long time and then he popped up reaaaaallyl short he just went BLOOP and gone, not sure about that, maybe someone pulled him? idk.

Also he refused to acknowledge a sign that said something not very interesting because we were right behind it and every time he came close like CLOSE CLOSE like i can SEE YOU SO WELL RN close the fucking sign would pop up with the speed of 28 lightyears so stronk so high so present I couldn't see him basically at fucking all i mean... it needs an arrow to show you where louis is because you can't fucking seeeeeeeeee, this is no zoom what it looked like:

I mean.. after the 5th time he has stood right in front of you reading it you don't need to keep holding it up after that? He's read it. What do you want him to do? I'm sorry he's just not gonna interact with it the 28th time if he hasn't 27 times before. It's done lemme see him please :') But this is going somewhere I promise because after a while at more than one occasion he tried to look around it at fucking us god damn it and it was in the way and so I missed 2 or 3 interactions that were directed at either one of us or one of the people next to us because only one of us at the time could see him whenever he got near so I just got half of a sentence or movement or whatever that I couldn't make out now and then, no idea, maybe watch an uploaded live, I know this one was very close to us, maybe I will, but there's one happening very soon so. Anyway he could've been interested in giving us that lil pointypoint for many reasons of which half aren't mine to tell so I won't, but for me it was just 1) going fucking mental, and it wasn't to like get him to see me do that, but lemme tell you when he confirmed that he did and enjoyed it I just got such a fucking sense of like this is the tiny thing I just gave back to him that he's given me. That seems weird probably but I'm very very held back, not just with a celebrity everyone wants to get near it seems, but with anyone I'm just always thinking I'm violating peoples space and I annoy you when I alert you of my existence basically that's just a me thing and makes me not want to like, meet him, send him anything, just... nada. Like I just don't wanna bother anyone. But like this? It's perfect. He had all the freedom to not acknowledge me but he did on his own free will because he enjoyed it and fed off the energy there seeing how ALDKJSDKLJLK we were going from his music and performance? what the fuck else would i want like shit that's just. thats perfect. But then there's 2) which is my shirt, which again I'm not gonna say just yet but you're welcome to ask me in a dm if we talk of course, but it's just combining 2 things he's big on so it would make sense it'd catch his attention.

But that's not what I came there for. I don't wanna be like y/n moment xoxo let's get more (but also, I do now, because he RUINED IT. HE RUINED IT. nothing is gonna compare to him fucking being like YO THIS BITCH IS GOING FOR IT *P O I N T S* like fuck) I just wanted to see him at least once because I could, and I was honestly planning on getting there just before it started and standing at the back by myself, chilling. But that's not what I got, I got to meet amazing people and had the fucking time of my fucking life holy shit. Like everything went better than I could've ever imagined and he was better than i had imagined and i already thought he was everything.

LOOK AT THAT FUCKER WITH THE POINT THAT WILL SHIT ON MY FUTURE CONCERTS:

#also im tagging my pic posts #my photo #so i guess i should do this one too #also theres still more coming i just didnt make it before the next concert apparently rip im exhausted #maybe #maybe.#WITNESS ME

157 notes · View notes

moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Diego Hargreeves’ child

Diego Hargreeves x child!reader

warnings: knifes, blood, guns, death mentions, mental hospital

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you please write a “The Umbrella Academy” Diego Hargreeves x daughter reader headcanon? I always think Diego is such a overprotective softie dad ♥️♥️”

deigo really said “?????”

how dad

but also he’d just the most loving dad anyone could ever ask for

✨it’s because he was never loved by his dad✨

“hi cutie, i love you, i love you, i love youuuuu”

he locked away all his weapons so that you couldn’t hurt yourself on them

but he always missed a few and he’d turn around and see you holding throwing knives and just FREAK OUT

“no, no, no, you may not have those! knives are for big boys like me, not babies”

“give back”

“‘give back?’ are you nuts?”

diego has conversations with lil you as if you know what the fuck he means dhshshhshs

as you got older, you became more interested in his “career”

“no, i dont care if you have powers or not! you have a bedtime, that means no vigilantism, you hear me?”

“if i say ‘no’ can i be a vigilante?”

“you know what? how about you clean up the gym for al so he doesn’t evict us?”

you did not sign up for this

you really wanted to meet your aunts and uncles, but you weren’t exactly sure they knew about you

i mean, you knew you had a cousin but everyone knew about her because aunt allison was a goshdarn celebrity

“dad, i want to meet the family!”

“no you don’t”

end of discussion

despite having a bedtime, you still watched movies late at night with your dad

he really liked marvel movies

“come on, that would never happen!”

“you come from a family of superpowered kids, a robot mom, and a monkey, and you’re upset about...a guy that shoots arrows?”

“maybe i am, what’re you gonna do about it?”

you ask about umbrella academy stories a lot, you your dad usually makes it about him

“and then i punched that guy in the face! and then i stabbed him in the leg because he was a dick! bet you’re friend’s dads arent as cool as me”

*yawning bc you’ve heard this story a million times*

you go to public school

you do have your dad’s last name

which occasionally gets recognized

“woah! wasn’t your dad a superhero?”

“i have no idea what youre talking about” :)

practicing your knife throwing while diego is away, him coming home to find his knifes stuck through various targets

so proud but he had to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself

you actually had to learn how to patch him up because he did come home a bit battered and bruised several times

“im okay, y/n. no need to freak”

“dad, there is literally blood dripping on the floor will you just sit down and stay still for five goddamn minutes?”

“woah, who the fuck taught you to cuss?”

watching the news at home when your grandfather was reportedly dead

you were actually very upset because you wanted to meet him so bad

even if he was a dick

your dad came home silent and you knew he knew

“you okay?”

“oh, yeah, im better than okay!”

finally getting the chance to meet your family

“who are you?” -allison

“im, uh, y/n. diego is my dad”

*jaw dropping*

and you know what? that happened four more times (plus ben but you didn’t get to see that)

“and you are?” -luther

“who’s the...the little one?” -klaus

“well, what do you know? diego’s a dad” -five

“don’t tell me that’s...no way” -ben

“you’re diego’s? wow, i can’t believe he didn’t tell anyone” -vanya

“i...i know who all of you are” -you

diego bragging about how perfect you are while everyone simultaneously rolls their eyes

“well, y/n, maybe one day we’ll schedule a playdate for you and claire” -allison

“‘playdate?’ how old do you think i am?...but yes i wanna meet her”

“god, you’re so much like diego, it’s unsettling”

you had been secretly training at al’s gym during your dad’s late night activities

so when trouble came your way, you were able to handle yourself pretty well

“where the hell did you learn that?”

“al showed me a few moves!”

“that old man? you’re kidding”

you met your grandmother, grace, who was tasked with keeping you safe at all times

you actually loved her sm

but there was something a bit off about her

besided the fact she was a robot

klaus snuck you out so that you two could have BoNdInG tImE

it wasn’t all bad

ben was a lil choked up that he got to meet one of his niblings

“they’re perfect”

“they just stabbed someone, buddy”

“who are you talking to?”

FIVE EVEN SCHEMED WITH YOU

“okay, y/n, i need you to curve something when i throw it, got that? right at that security guard”

“what are you throwing?”

“you’ll know when you see it, make your uncle five proud”

“IS THAT A GUN”

<3 family

running into patch!!

“hey, kid, i just saw your dad. i thought i told you to handcuff him to the radiator when you were away?”

“yeah, well, he wouldve chewed his hand off so here we are”

that was the last time you saw her :/

well, your dad was now a wanted man

“what happened to your arm?”

“no”

you actually didn’t expect this family reunion to go south like this

wait—yes you did

vanya has powers????

“i thought vanya was the one without powers?”

“yeah. so did we.”

diego straight up did not want you anywhere near that

but you, again, were his child and also fuck authority you do what you want

the vibe is almost getting shot several times

by hazel, cha cha, and “commission” guys?

going 2 ur auntie’s concert 😌✨

“y/n, hide in the bathroom and stay there until i come get you”

“dad, i love you, but no”

“y/n, i love you too, but yes”

“no”

“yes”

“NO”

“YES”

you won

but in the end (or not so much) you time traveled to...1961?

without any of your family

“this is...this is not good”

understatement of the year(s)

what was a kid like you gonna do in dallas, texas in 1961

no seriously, what

it was rough, but you managed to survive on your own

and open a paper in 1963 to find a mugshot of your dad

“son of a—”

visiting dad! (two years later)

“y/n? oh my god, y/n! shit, i missed you so much! why do you look different? you’re bigger, oh god. how long have you been here?”

“2 years, dad. you?”

his hair was so LONG

“2 months”

“christ, that’s it?!”

“i have to stop jfk from being assassinated”

“what makes you think that’s a good idea???”

“its the right thing to do, wanna help?”

“shit, i guess. as long as i dont end up here”

“no promises, people in the 60’s are crazy”

diego: 👁👄👁

you: 👀

running into five on the street soon after

“uncle five?”

“no time to talk”

“okay, asshole? i’ve been here for 2 years and you dont care?”

“two years, huh? i spent 45 years in a post apocalyptic world as a 13 year old and beyond”

“i didn’t say it was a competition, dude. you kinda dropped us all at different times. at least, me and dad. he—”

“is trying to kill lee harvey oswald, i know. come with me”

finally running into your other aunts and uncles, who were so excited to see you

you ran into their arms and they picked you off the ground and you felt closer than ever after only knowing them for 10 days

dad broke out

lila too

“im your new mom!”

“you’re what?”

diego dragged you along with him almost everywhere

he had missed you so much, but he keeps forgetting you kinda grew up without him for a while longer

meeting grandpa :)

“a grandchild, huh? how unfortunate”

“bitch”

“what did you just call me?”

“a bitch.”

your dad and basically the entire table trying to hold back laughter

reggie was stunned

cold hearted just like him <3 he didn’t know if he was offended or proud

this is so confusing

diego just disappeared off the face of the earth

and assassins were on your case

“the goddamn swedes are back oh shittt im gonna die”

“y/n, just curve their bullets”

“it’s not as easy as it sounds, klaus!”

you were doomed

theres too much to go over

apparently you died on a farm????

and then you didn’t??????

and your dad was almost apart of the commission

“hey, you okay, y/n?”

“i would like to take a nap please”

“yeah, me too”

“me three!” -klaus

yeah it was never that simple 😌💕 the end

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @that-nerd-tessa // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @abbiesthings // @thereagles // @ofthedewthesunlight //

#diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves #umbrella academy x reader #umbrella academy #umbrella academy imagine #tua #tua imagine #tua x reader #diego hargreeves x child!reader #hargreeves!reader

724 notes · View notes

secretsniper2 · 3 years

Text

Just a “Touch up”

You always wanted to do something outlandish, all the other girls had gotten something done and bragged about it non stop, it was driving you crazy! So you decided to get something done yourself, nothing major, just a touch up. So now you sit in the doctors office talking with the man who would be operating on you, you explain that your only looking for a light touch up to your face so your friends will notice instantly. The doctor explained that at 19 years of age “there wouldn't really be much they could do” but you were adamant that you get it done. Date set for 2 weeks away you cant wait!

Time flew past with more of the same, your friends bragging and you roll your eyes every time, your certain they will envy your face when your job is done. The date finally arrives and you head to the clinic to get started. Sitting in the waiting room your not alone, there is a creepy guy with a green hat, sitting in the corner, every time you look over at him he is staring at you. “can i help you?” you ask and he stands and walks to the counter, asks for something and is given a grey folder and a pen, taking both to his seat he begins to fill out a form. “bit late to fill that out” you think to yourself, oh well. A Nurse walks into the waiting room with a piece of paper, “Layla!” she calls and you stand and follow her into the room.

Walking through the single door you notice the main table in the middle of the room, and a few covered tables to the side, at the other end of the room is a wide double door your unsure why they need 2 doors for 1 side and a single door on this side.. “ehhh” you think to yourself as the Nurse gives you your gown to change into and as your the only 2 in here you strip down and put your light blue hospital gown on. it barely goes past your pussy! Tying it on securely your just in time for the surgeon to walk in with 2 folders, 1 blue and the other grey like the man in the waiting room. Flicking through both folders he leads you to the table to begin your surgery.

Laying down on the table it feels weird, like the table itself can be pulled apart due to how it shifts beneath you, its certainly not all in 1 piece. The surgeon begins drawing lines on your face where he will be doing his work, as you had discussed. Looking up to the ceiling you see a camera pointed right at you, clearly for medical reasons you feel more lines get drawn on you. Taking a needle from a shelf he explains “this shot will feel weird and you may get confused, its to ensure you don't feel pain”. Holding out your arm your given the shot, it feels warm as you lower your arm back onto the table, the warmth spreading through your body, its pleasant at least, the warmth flowing up to your head and your hit with the confusion he mentioned. If you were standing you would fall over instantly, but your laying down so your head just rolls to a side, completely relaxed. As the warmth continues to roll down your body it hits your tight pussy and you start to feel a little aroused, at least your legs are closed but with this gowns length its only a matter of time before your lips start showing your arousal.

Continuing down your legs your toes go numb as the warmth hits them, it tickled at first but now you notice you cant move your arms either, you begin to breathe faster as you learn just how little you can move, its just your head! everything under your neck is completely still. Acting as if nothing is wrong the surgeon walks up and puts a headpiece on your face, bit weird as that's where your getting work done, and all you can see is darkness, nothing else. your body tingling all over from the shot earlier and with your vision limited your sense of touch has increased, your now acutely aware of the hairs on your arms standing up, it is cold in here though but your beginning to panic a little.

A sudden burst of light floods your eyes and after a few blinks you see yourself, from the camera hanging over your body, you see everything, almost the whole room! Worse still you see what the lines on your forehead are, he wasn't tracing out lines, he was writing “Fuckslut” on your forehead! examining your body from this perspective you can see your bald pussy peeking out of the gown, raising your arm for the shot must have pulled the gown up! your pussy is exposed! you can see the glistening from your arousal which has only gotten worse since it started, a hand reaches out and grabs your thigh. the surgeons unwanted touching makes you sick, but your pussy just cries out for more touches and you hate that your body is reacting positively.

Walking up beside your body he reaches out and grabs your breast “what the fuck” you think angrily! who does this guy think he is?! as he squeezes your perky C cup breast, moving to the other and repeating after a minute, leaving both your breasts a little sore but your nipples have reacted to the abuse and you can already see them poking against the gown. your head flooding with shame as you see them get harder and harder as his hand snakes its way up to your smooth neck and holds your throat. caressing your skin he loops his hand under the neck of the gown and to your horror, pulls hard and you feel the tight knots you did earlier come undone as the gown soars off your now completely naked body!

You cant believe what your seeing, your 19 year old body laying flat on the table with nothing covering you, your nipples reacting even more as they get even harder than they were seconds before, and your pussy is drooling with need, your humiliation has only begun and you know it. Watching in horror as the hand moves from your neck, sliding down your smooth skin to once again grasp your breast, your nipple being pinched hard this time, you hear him say “this size wont do, ill have to fill them out a bit” and worse still, you hear another unseen man say “you have the chart, make it happen” your eyes scanning the room as much as you can see, but you cant find the source of the second voice! Movement draws your eyes back to the hand as it slides easily over your smooth, flawless skin and glides over your pussy and fingers dip between your lips. Fluid now flowing out as he probes your most private area with his fingers, expertly drawing more and more fluid from you, clearly knowing what he is doing as he brushes across your clit forcing sharp sensations to stab your mind.

Pulling your legs open you see a separation in the table and sure enough the surgeon separates them, putting a brace on the inside section he opens them wider, catching your ankles in the process, and as the table continues to widen, so do your legs. Pussy now completely accessible now to even the most aimless of people, the surgeon brings a covered cart over to you and upon removing the cloth your witness to needles and a scalpel among other tools. Your terror reaching new heights as a needle is taken, full of a pink liquid it is moved straight for your clit, eyes almost bulging out of your head as the tip sinks into your precious bulb, but no pain, at least he was honest about that. Pushing the tip in further you see him injecting the fluid inside your clit and it actually begins to bulge, blood flooding to your nub forcing it to grow out, pushing its hood aside it now sitting out, you cant stop looking at it, its 3 times bigger than what it was!

A flash of steel and your eyes dart to the cause, the surgeon holding the scalpel now moves in on your engorged clit, slicing from the base and moving to the tip you see blood and you have no idea what he is doing to you.. placing a cup over your clit you see him attach a pump to the end, its a suction cup! you feel him pumping away your sensitive clit moving further away from your body, so sensitive the pumping continues will its 8cm out of your hood, then its bandaged to keep it out and exposed, “if she messes up you can grab her by her clit now and lead her anywhere you want” you look at your once adorable clit, you think “i could give my clit a fucking handjob now!” and its almost big enough too. pumped full of blood the sensitivity is through the roof, and because of the fluid he injected your clit with its completely rigid and standing straight out, not bending at all..

Taking 2 more needles from the cart he aims them for your exposed labia, penetrating them your injected with a blue liquid this time, and you feel a instant burning in your pussy as he injects you multiple times around your pussy and even your inner lips get 4 injections. Heat burning away as your arousal forced your pussy to clench and fresh juice squirts out, not a orgasm but it may as well have been, your so desperately horny now and there's nothing you can do! Watching in terror as he gets more needles and walks over to your breasts, 1 needle in the tip of your nipple and the orange fluid is injected followed by the burning sensation in your breasts, “experimental drugs are illegal but im sure you dont mind right” “not at all” the 2 men agree. both your breasts are burning from the inside as you feel them growing! you can almost see it happening right in front of your eyes, your C’s are growing to D’s!

Whatever the injections were they work fast and your not liking this at all! Taking a device from the table your pussy is opened up as he looks inside. “not a virgin” your surgeon says then a very long needle is inserted in your pussy. reaching far inside he hits the entrance to your womb and injects another drug, “what's going to happen to my poor womb?!” you think “there we go” he says, “she should be hypersensitive to touch now” not waiting for a invitation he touches your clit and you orgasm on the spot, from a simple touch! “now for her ass!” you hear him say as you come back down from the orgasm, a brown liquid filled needle is jabbed into your asshole and your filled once again with a burning sensation, likely being made hypersensitive like the rest of you. Looking to your breasts for a moment your stunned at the DD set your now carrying! your breasts are huge!

“Care to sample the goods?” your asshole of a surgeon says and you see him, a green hat moves into your sight, its that guy from the waiting room! You watch as he pulls his cock out and stands between your open legs and pushes into your soaked pussy! forcing 3 orgasms simultaneously from you as he thrusts in, pushing straight into your womb pulling a further 5 orgasms out of you! your mind is going numb already! you have never cum so many times so fast! your sure no woman has in history and yet here you are, a slave to the orgasmic hell these men have forced on you.. The man in the hat pulls out to your entrance again and thrusts once again straight to your womb, so many orgasms you only thought it “kill meee..” as even your voice in your head trails off in the pleasure. As he slams his length into you your clit gets rammed hard by his body and your rewarded with another 6 orgasms! “its not possiblee-ohmyfuckinggod!” you think as your mind melts through your gushing pussy!

After what seemed like a eternity of orgasmic hell, having well over 50 orgasms the man in the hat moves to your chest, hopping on you he slides his cock in between your DD breasts and begins thrusting hard, you have given a titjob before but it never feels this good! your already cumming just from having him fuck your tits! and he clearly enjoys his time as you feel a splash on your face and mouth as he cums on you. “can we make that more fun for the slave too?” he says, your mind stopping at the word “slave” what did he mean by that? your name is Layla for gods sake! you came in here for a touch up and your being transformed into a cum crazy slave?! you watch as a clear liquid filled needle is brought over to your face, your mouth is opened with no resistance, and your tongue is jabbed and filled with the fluid. “this will ensure the she enjoys giving you head as much as you enjoy receiving it” he said with a laugh!

Your mouth burning as the surgeon returns you your pussy and grabs your clit hard and begins playing with it, forcing you to cum instantly with each stroke, having a further 12 orgasms pulled from you in seconds and he is still going! your eyes roll back into your head as you cum wildly! your mouth still open from the injection some of the mans cum drips into your now open mouth and lands on your tongue, you never did like the taste of cum but this was different.. though you cant move it the cum just slides over your sensitive tongue and you can taste it, somehow you love it! it tastes amazing!, hearing something click your head drops backwards as your eyes look down at your body through the camera once more, the green hat man is lining up your throat for some fucking. Nothing you can do but watch this man fuck your throat, as his cock enters your mouth it pushes your tongue to the floor of your mouth, and you can taste his cock in detail. “s-so tasty!!” your mind screams as he begins pumping down your throat!

“i think were almost done here!” the surgeon says loudly and you hear a grunt of agreement from the man as you feel his hot load pump into your throat as he pulls out, raising your head back up and locking the table back in position, the surgeon stops pulling orgasms from you as he releases your hypersensitive and overstimulated clit, you couldn't count how many times you came if you wanted to.. Watching as the man in the green hat beings a bag over, he pulls some small devices out and places them beside you, “how long will she be paralyzed?” he asks as he does, “5 hours at least.” the surgeon replies, “5 hours of immobile hell?! fuck!” you think. Watching as the man places 2 devices on either side of your nipples and tapes them there you recognise them as vibrators.. “the sick fuck is going to keep making me cum?” you scream mentally.. a thick dildo is placed between your tits and turned on, it feels amazing already!

Watching in fear as a series of vibrators are stuck to your solid clit, covering it completely. A long dildo is pushed right into your pussy and into your womb, pulling more orgasms from you, and finally a scary long dildo is pushed inside your virgin ass, the sensation is incredible for your first time, you can feel it as it moves further and deeper inside you. a foot of rubber cock now fills your tight ass! you can see your pussy gaping open as the dildo doesn't even stick out a little, the man pulls a pair of panties from the bag. black and shiny you realize its a latex lined chastity belt. pushing your clit through the large hole in the front, the panties push completely against you, orgasming immediately as the latex hits your pussy, form fitting almost as it hugs your hips perfectly, metal on the outside you see him lock them on and lower a weird ring around the base of your clit and snapping it shut locking your clit in the belt. At the push of a button your whole body cums instantly as every vibrator activates at seemingly max power!

8, 20, 36, 53.. orgasms every few seconds as your clit visibly shakes as each vibration quakes your mind and body, your pussy and ass vibrating furiously as the tip of the cock in your womb wrenches more orgasms out of you. in the first 10 seconds you have already lost count of not only how many times you came, but also where you are! “my name……. is.. Laylaaaaaaahhhhhhh” your mind dribbles out, “fuuuck-ohmygodnooo!!” you would be screaming if you could. Your mask is removed and your eyes dart around looking at the man in the face clearly. you burn his face into your mind as the man who stole your life, but with his large beard you cant make out much! “FUCK! im cuuuuuuhhh..“ your mind trails off. countless orgasms pulled out of your body as the wheels on your table are unlocked and you learn why there are 2 doors on 1 side of the room, its to fit the table.. wheeled through the doors you see a carpark, and your new ride.. a car boot. Your body is folded up with the surgeons help and your bound into a doll almost, still cumming furiously as your placed in the boot of this mans car and locked inside.

Its dark inside, your body still cumming and you cant move even if you wanted to.. a life of sexual slavery at the hands of this man.. You wanted a Touch up, and now this man is going to touch you up any time he wants..

#Stories #Custom

32 notes · View notes

alukaforyou · 3 years

Text

my grandma tried to brag to me abt how her niece is good at art and HAS NFTS OF THEM so my sis & i had to go off on her about how thats stupid as all fck like.... i say this allll the time but family rly is gacha :/ this lady is like 30 smth probably, has a degree in accounting or business analytics idk, and her husband works AT GOOGLE.... girl i thought u had a brain :/ theres no way u cant be aware of the neg environmental impact of nfts..... unless they dont give a shit :/ which makes them assholes LMFAO see, when my sis & i r finally ready to disown our entire fam in the future, that might mean our relatives will be like "wtf those girls r ungrateful b*tches how can they cut off their own parents?!" and they'll all hate us and we'll essentially lose most, if not all of our biological relatives... but GUESS WHAT WE DONT GIVE A RATS A** LMFAO CUZ 1. we dont even see our relatives that much so we're not rly close 2. if yall r gonna demonize us for our valid reaction to how our parents treated us our whole lives.... Yall are Not Understanding!!! u are not the types of ppl we even wanna be around so... whats our loss exactly?? lmfao seriously blood relations dont mean sh*t to me i am understood and loved and treated well by my friends & loved ones, they are my real family. it would be so funny if i ever got married tho cuz im gonna have like 15 ppl MAX on my side LMFAO maybe less... cuz i mostly have a small group of super close friends lol..... no1 will be related to me except my sis..... every1 else at the weddings gonna be so confused 😂

#my friends r my friends cuz theyre good ppl and i actually like being around them lmfao WE CHOSE EACH OTHER #our relationship had consent...#meanwhile.... blood relatives are like... gacha LMFAO #i would not wanna be friends w clowns that do nfts so y do they have to mean anything to me just cuz theyre related to me hmmm #.txt

18 notes · View notes

13solo · 3 years

Note

Past, 4, 7, 8

Present, 2, 8, 10, 14

Future, 1, 3, 4, 8, 9

this ask has been in my inbox for like 2 weeks im so sorry i was really lazy ,

OC Questions Ask Game

PAST

4. What was the most common argument between them and whoever raised them?

rene was raised by their mom up until they were 13, they got along SUPER well, not a lot of arguments outside of what your typical bratty kid would start shit up for.

however, when they had to live with their dad, they had arguments left and right. the most common one was about his expectations. he had extremely high expectations of rene regarding school, discipline, manners, etc. he wanted a kid that he could brag about, basically, and rene was a giant let-down in that regard.

rene also just straight up purposefully did worse in everything his dad expected of him just to piss him off. so like, average grades would tank, normal teen behavior turned into smoking and skipping class, etc. so the arguments just kept happening and rene would always blame it on him wanting a trophy instead of a kid

7. Who were their friends during childhood? Are they still in touch with them?

his only friends in childhood were like. the Bad Crowd of high schoolers, but friend is a pretty loose term cus he didn't know them well at all and only hung out with them to piss off his dad. they lost contact after graduation since the friendship was just superficial

8. What was their childhood/teenage bedroom like?

PRESENT

2. What is their current occupation, if any, and how did they end up there? Do they enjoy it?

two jobs! full-time at a coffee shop, part-time as a repairman for their apartment building (it's how they're able to live there despite the rent being WAY out of budget)

they hate the coffee shop . imagine your average fluffy coffee shop au with sweet and flirt baristas and a cozy little cafe except like one employee is an asshole that looks like they hate their life ., it's a sweet place and the coworkers are good but pre-devildom they were going through an edgelord phase so it was like that one meet the robinsons clip where goob is walking through school while everyones saying hi and being cheerful and he goes "they all hated me..."

they liked the handyman job a lot more though! there's a lot of elderly people in their apartment that they get along with, and it's a nice change of pace where they can just quietly work on pipes and chat with old ladies. their regular customer is actually sapphira, who i mention here! they like coming to her house to fix her sink while they just ramble about their day.

in season 3, they end up working for simeon at the cafe him and luke run! they liked that one a WHOLE lot more, mostly because at this point they're a lot more cheerful and open. when the angels have to leave to go back to the celestial realm, simeon actually makes rene the official owner of the cafe :]

8. What hobby or pastime of theirs do they consider most important to them and why?

he used to stargaze all the time with his mom :] it wasn't like. traditional stargazing, they treated it more like cloudwatching, where they'd point out what they see in the stars and create their own "constellations," naming the shapes and making up outlandish stories behind them.

this ends up being something that carries onto the devildom. rene and the brothers would lay down under the planetarium and point out fake constellations and tell stories, sometimes it'd turn into a couple of them fighting because someone made fun of their story cus they're all chaotic as fuck, but it's rene's favorite devildom memories.

10. What do they always carry with them and why?

average millennial that refuses to walk around without their cell phone

14. What matters most to them right now?

i'm nuts about these nuts, but i'm also nuts about my close good friends

my close good friends <3

FUTURE

1. Briefly describe their life in the future, regardless of how far into the future this is.

i actually really like that one sorta-obscure headcanon that the ring of wisdom is what's prolonging solomon's lifespan, and since simeon gives mc the same kind of ring in s2, i like to think that rene's able to live just as long of a life. it's kind of what i imagine to be a sweet little turnaround, from the guy that originally hated life and couldn't care less if he dies, to a guy that's been granted a long life with love surrounded by people who they love and care about ❤

3. How would their beliefs or morals change in the future, if at all?

wow i kind of accidentally answered this in the question above erm.

like i said, rene at the beginning of the game is extremely cynical, mean, lazy, and has just kind of overall Given Up. throughout everything that they go through with the demon boys, they start to slowly improve and end up turning into someone who actively wants to better their life and be happy.

4. What’s something they were sure would happen in their future but didn’t?

was genuinely convinced that lucifer would finally get fed up and murder them before the exchange program even ends.

8. Would they become a mentor figure for anyone?

easy answer is luke. he sees the lil angel as like a reflection of himself before his mom died and he started straying too far from the light. because of this, rene kind of makes it their goal to ensure that luke always knows that there's someone on his side and he doesn't have anything to prove to anyone (particularly michael. rene's always had a huge distaste for michael because of the whole celestial war thing, but they especially hate him because of the pressure luke puts on himself to make michael proud despite just being a little kid)

but, in a more complicated way? lucifer. i've mentioned before that, offhandedly, rene projects their childhood anger at their dad to lucifer. his pride that makes him overtly critical of his brothers, that gets in the way of his ability to empathize with other people, it's all things that turns lucifer into My Shitty Dad 2.0 for them.

the thing about lucifer, though, is he has an undeniable love for his family, and rene slowly over the course of time becomes just another member to him. when they start to bond and rene lets him in on their life, it helps him make that change from Lucifer That Tried To Murder You Luke and Beel Over a Grimoire to Lucifer That Tells You How Proud He is of The Progress You've Made as a Sorcerer.

lucifer doesn't want to be his father any more than rene wants to be their father, so when he learns that rene has the same amount of fear and hatred at him that he had for the man that tried to kill his sister and cast his entire family out from the heavens, he pushes his pride to the side and looks to them for ways to be a better figure of authority, a better brother

9. How do they feel about getting older and eventually dying?

s1 rene: i will literally let myself get murdered if it means i don't have to live with wrinkles

post-game rene: i am 400 years old

#rene #this is super long if tumblr nukes it ill end it all.

2 notes · View notes

secretsniper3 · 3 years

Text

Just a “Touch up”

3 notes · View notes

rogerina-yee-haw · 5 years

Text

dating ben hardy (and being younger than him) would include... part 2

a/n: as @banana-tree-freddiemercury said in the notes to part 1: you should do a part 2 where he finally meets your parents and maybe doesn't go as well and you have to choose between them but ends in fluff?

thank u for the idea babe!!! i changed it a bit tho

ALSO THANK U FOR 1000 FOLLOWERS ILY ALL SO MUCH I DON'T DESERVE YALL

warnings: a bit of angst, fluff, smut, language, typos

here's the link to part 1 !! also i notice that the first part has over 1000 notes and im...screaming???

hope you enjoy !!

so you and Ben have been together for almost a year now

and you both are so in love with each other

but it doesn't mean that your relationship is perfect

you fight occasionally

but this is just stupid bickering

like when you say that Taron Egerton is the handsomest man you've ever seen

or when Ben spends five hours playing FIFA

or when you both are wrong about something but still keep on arguing just to rile each other up

the latter usually ends with having rough sex on the nearest surface

in the bathroom, on the carpet near the TV set, in Ben's car, at a party, in his childhood room

but you never have serious fights

because you have nothing vital to fight about

even though arguing over the color of a new bowl you are buying for Frankie seems pretty significant to you

anyways

you've been invited to your cousin's wedding

and even though the two of you aren't close, you still have to go, because "this is what family demands"

and Ben is more than happy to come with you

because he's been secretly thinking about proposing, and he wants to know how you picture your perfect wedding

he can't just ask you directly

because he thinks it would be too obvious

and because he's a bit of a dumbass

so when the wedding day comes across

Ben's jaw falls to the ground (almost literally), because you look like a goddess in that dress you picked

"you're stunning, Y/N", he looks at you in awe. "I've always known that, but you keep proving and proving how wonderful you are"

and you're so smitten

because, come on, there aren't times when your boyfriend doesn't make you feel all flustered and nervous, as if you were a timid schoolgirl

"you're not too bad yourself", you reply, coming up to stand between his legs as he's sitting on the couch. "this suit looks like you're going to some red carpet event"

Ben's sits up closer to you, so that his hands are on your hips and his face is right in front of your lower stomach. "every event is like a red carpet with you, babe", he breathes out, looking at you with his significant smirk and eyes, fully blown with lust

"t's too cheesy, Ben", you run your hand through his hair and he sighs softly, kissing your stomach through the silk material. "I know you can come up with a better pick up line"

he hums in response, slowly moving his hands from your hips to your ass. "did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"

"you'd know better", you bite your lip, "you're the one who fell from the skies, pretty boy"

he looks at you with raised eyebrows and a playful smile on his lips. "touché".

you don't how it happened but the next moment you're straddling Ben and grinding on him

and he's already so hard

"we're gonna be late", he whispers inbetween heated kisses, after he hovers over you on the couch, his cock already out

"I'd rather be fucking my boyfriend than listen to my aunt's bragging"

needless to say, Ben fucks you so good that you even consider staying at home, because your legs are trembling and head spinning

his thrusts are just slow and deep, hitting that exact spot each time when he slams into you

"you're doing so good, baby", he would say to you in a raspy voice, "feel so fuckin' - shit - so great around my cock. so pretty"

but Ben makes you go

because that's what your parents asked you of

you're not late, btw

but your mother certainly notices how fucked out you look

and she does not approve of it

but doesn't say anything

the effect that Ben has on you is incredible: you're not too irritated by your nosy relatives and actually enjoy meeting with the rest of the family

your mum also notices this

and she thinks it's rather good

because you've always been gloomy around your multiple relatives

but now your calm, smiling and laughing at your second cousin Jake's joke

you hate your second cousin Jake

and your mother immediately assumes that this is certainly the effect Ben has upon you

you feel much at ease when he's around

and everyone is asking you about your relationship

Ben answers these questions, because he knows that they drive you mad

the wedding goes pretty well

until you have a moment with your father

it's when Ben goes out to smoke

and your father is immediately coming at you with all that he has

alcohol makes your dad a bit of an asshole

"he's not good enough for you"

"dad, please, let's not do it now"

“Y/N, my dear girl”, your dad is interrupted by his own hiccup, “I’ve been watching him for the whole night. you should’ve seen the way he’s been looking at your uncle’s new girlfriend”

you sigh deeply. “dad, I was the one who made him look at her in the first place. I told him she is very attractive and that uncle Harry has finally found a perfect match for him. I said that. Not Ben”

“but he’s been looking at her at any chance given. when you didn’t see, Y/N. you think I would lie to you?”

and just like that, you’re feeling your heart breaking

because you don’t think you dad would ever lie to you

even if he certainly is doing it at the moment

so you run out of the building to find Ben in the street, finishing smoking

“I’m leaving”, you tell him and then turn around to walk away

but he catches your wrist in his hand

he frowns

“what’s wrong, baby? I thought you were enjoying the party”

“clearly, I wasn’t enjoying it as much as you do”, you snap, making Ben feel even more lost

and he’s like ???? what’s going on????

“I know you’ve been eyeing my uncle’s girlfriend for the whole night”, you words sound harsh and stupid even to you, but it’s diffucult to stop. this argument is already too idiotic - but you’re riled up by your father’s words too much to shut yourself up

“it’s funny how you notice something that’s non-existent”, Ben replies in a hoarse voice, “when the only girl I’ve been eyeing since the day we met is you”

and these words make you lose it

you give in and stop fighting immediately

and you hate the effect he has upon you

but you also know that it’s true

I mean, it’s ridiculous to even assume that Ben has eyes for someone but you

because he constantly showers you with affection

kisses away your troubles

makes you go on a stroll with him and Frankie whenever you’re feeling down and lonely

and when she jumps on you after “swimming” in the puddle

and you laugh

Ben can’t but be mesmerized by you

because you’re so beautiful and he adores the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh so hard that you can’t breathe

he loves how soft your hands are

and your soothing voice

and your weird obssession with having him play the sims with you

and the way you curse constantly whenever something happens

usually when you burn something you cooked and the two of you have to order pizza

he adores how every piece of clothing fits you

and he always tells you about it

he also proves his love to you at any chance given

Ben gives you space, when you’re stressed out because of your studying

he leaves you cute notes, like, “don’t forget to have some rest before you smash this exam”, “getting your degree isn’t worth you overworking yourself, so, please, have a little break and drink some tea later, love”, “I love you and hope you will get a good amount of sleep tonight”

he’s willing to stay at home with you whenever you don’t want to go out, even though you try to make him go and see his friends. “I’d rather be home with you”

for the past year, there hasn’t been a single day when you felt unloved or not payed attention to

because Ben never fails to show the love he has for you

he feels like once his heart is going to actually explode from how much love for you it contains

so you know that this fight is stupid right away

“why would you even think that?”

you don’t tell him it’s your dad

because you still hope that they’ll get along once

“I’m just”, you shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s probably wine getting in my head”

Ben smiles softly and caresses your cheek. “do you wanna go home, baby?”

you nod and the two of you get in a cab, holding each other’s hands thoughout the whole ride home

“did you like the wedding?”, Ben asks when you get into bed forty minutes later

“yeah, a lot”, you smile when he crawls next to you. “I just didn’t like the music. And the bridesmaids’ outfits. And my cousin’s hairstyle. And all of the decorations. But I guess I was the only one who didn’t enjoy those things”

and when you keep on saying what you didn’t like about the wedding, Ben already knew that he would do anything for your and his wedding to be perfect.

#ben hardy #ben hardy headcanon #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #benhardy #ben hardy headcanons #my writing

437 notes · View notes

baroquebucky · 6 years

Note

Request : your ex boyfriend whom you broke up with on good friends comes to visit on a birthday party organized by your current boyfriend Bucky. Bucky feels overshadowed and threatened . Angst and fluff pls

A/N: okay i am LIVING for this honestly, jealous!bucky is a fave !!!! sorry if this sucks :-( keep requesting pls

You didn’t want a famous Stark party for your birthday, you wanted a cute small get together with all your friends and your boyfriend. You had college though, and you were an avenger, so time didn’t really exist for you. Let alone enough time to plan a whole party. So of course you dropped small hints to your beloved Bucky.

“you know these two colors go really well together” “oh this cake is SO yummy!!” “i think this playlist is perfect for something like a laid back but FUN party!” “oh these decorations are amazing”

These subtle hints continued for about a week, not including the bundles of texts you would send him while in class or when you were bored or walking the dog you had, and yes, you forced them to get a dog. And now tony created the little guy his own room, catered to his every need, but of course he preferred you over everyone else and was very protective of you. One time while cuddling on the couch he tried to bite bucky because he thought he was trying to kill you, let’s just say bucky flinches a bit now when the pupper jumps on you.

“Okay team. T minus 10 hours until show time. I need Tony and Rhodes on decorations, Bruce and Natasha on food duty- STRICTLY DESSERTS AND CAKE PLEASE, Clint and Sam on food food duty, Steve and Thor you’re on gifts, I’ve compiled a list, and i am over seeing everything as well as inviting everyone. ARE YOU READY TEAM” Bucky gave out the orders, everyone nodding their heads as they all put their hands in the middle. “This has to be PERFECT Y/N needs to know how much we appreciate her, assemble on 3!” “1, 2, 3” “ASSEMBLE” the heroes yelled out as they scrambled to get everything to perfection. People fighting over which super car to drive.

You however were already in class, running late but with iced coffee so it’s worth it. As you jogged into class rushing to your seat next to your ex. Yes your ex, you guys were great friends though so it was okay, you loved Bucky and he trusted you. “hey man i woke up early but still managed to be late? How does that even work?” You said slightly out of breath setting you bag down and pulling out this classes respective notebooks. “You always find a way Y/N” y/e/n smiled at your frantic actions.

As class came to a close you put away your things and headed to the colleges outdoor area, it’s where you hung out with a few people until your next class. “Mind if i join you today?” y/e/n asked you, “of course not! Cmon before i miss the dog i always pet” you beamed at them as you lightly jogged to meet the canine you loved. Your paths crossed only at that time of day and you were never late, you and the dogs owner, Angelica, became somewhat close thanks to this golden retriever. As you made slight small talk, you ended the conversation and you headed in different directions. As you talked to your ex and your other friends joined you they gave you a cupcake and sang you happy birthday. Time flew and before you knew it you were headed to your next class, ready the day to be over and to get home.

you checked your phone briefly before your class started and saw a text from bucky.

buckaroo: do you still talk to y/e/n ?

you quickly composed a text, yeah i just talked to him for like an hour rn lmao

You hit send and put your phone away as your professor began to talk about the upcoming test you had. After a few hand cramps from taking notes too fast, and trying to not fall asleep, the lesson was over and you were almost free. You had to go to the library quickly to get a book you needed for a report. As you made your way to the library you quickly replied to some birthday texts from friends and playing people back at iMessage games.

After getting the book you headed back to the compound, ready to shower, relax for a bit, and then party it up with you friends. But thats exactly what happened, but not in that order.

“T MINUS 30 MINUTES! HUSTLE PEOPLE HUSTLE IM 100 YEARS OLD AND I MOVE FASTER HURRY IT UP” Bucky shouted as the team finished the final details. It was beautiful, Bucky knew you would love it. The people he had invited flooded in as they were told specific places to hide to surprise you.

“Hey Bucky!” y/e/n called out to the super soldier. “Oh hey, it’s James by the way” Bucky said immediately dreading whatever came out of this assholes mouth. You said that he wasn’t that bad, just didn’t work out dating, Bucky however hated his guts, he lost you, the most amazing thing is all the nine realms and didn’t even feel bad about it. He wanted to punch the guys face in but he couldn’t get blood on the decorations. After forcing himself to your ex walked away and Bucky had to take a deep breath in to collect himself.

“T MINUS 39 SECONDS SHES HERE” Tony yelled as everyone took their places, Bucky grabbed a bouquet of your favorite flowers and opened the door. “hey doll, how was your day?” Bucky smooth talked you with a kiss on the cheek as he hid the flowers behind his back. “Pretty good honey and yours?” You asked hugging him and setting you bag down by the door. “Close your eyes” Bucky started firmly, you chuckled and did as you were told as he led you to the middle of the room. “Happy birthday doll” Bucky whispered in your ear as you opened your eyes.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY” everyone yelled popping up with squeakers and those little blow out things you always loved. You stared in awe as you observed even the smallest of details, not one thing you had said had been left out. You looked at bucky who handed you the flowers and your eyes began to well up with tears. “It’s perfect baby” you smiled getting on your tippy toes to kiss him on the lips quickly. Bucky smiled and quickly kissed you back. “Go have fun baby” he smiled at you as you hugged him one last time before running off to your friends.

About an hour had passed and Bucky could not find you. And someone he spotted you in the corner of the room. With y/e/n. His blood ran cold as you smiled and laughed with him. He saw the way your ex looked at you, the way he put his hand lightly on your arm when he told a joke, and the way his eyes raked over your body as you got another drink. He hated it. As he began striding over to him, his metal arms whirring as he clenched his fists, a strong hand bragged him pulling him back. “Don’t buck. The last thing she’d want is a fight.” Steve told Bucky as he let out a shaky breath. Staring at you as your red dress fit you perfectly and you laughed at what was probably a horrible joke. You snatched his arm from Steve’s grip and walked the other way, the lights bouncing off his metal arm.

“Look at them. Look at her Steve, she’s all laughing and smiling and everything. He’s flirting! Just right there Steve!” Bucky huffed as he ran his hand though his hair angrily. “Go talk to her then” Steve said drinking some of what Thor brought him.

“Maybe she doesn’t love me anymore” He whisperered, watching you lean into your ex while laughing at something he said. He couldnt stand anymore of it.

Bucky stormed out as he headed to the fifth floor where the dog was and where the beautiful view of the city was. “Hey buddy” Bucky said softly as his chest sank lower and lower. The dog- Ace, sat next to him as his tail wagged glad to have some company. “Does she even love me anymore? I mean she’s so beautiful and I’m actually 100 years old. And did you see how she was acting with her ex? Her ex! As if i didn’t plan this whole fucking party for her, buy her exactly what she wanted and make everything perfect? And he suddenly waltzes in and she’s laughing with HIM?” Bucky furrows his eyebrows as he huffs out in anger his complaints. Ace lowly barking and making noises almost agreeing with him. “It’s like she has no respect for herself now” Bucky said immediately regretting his words.

“Wow.” A sad voice echoes behind him. He and ace quickly got up as he saw your standing a little bit behind you two. “No self respect huh? I throw myself at every guy? That’s what you’re saying?” You said angrily, hands shaking from either sadness or rage. “No Y/N you know i don’t mean that” Bucky pleases striding towards you grabbing your wrist. “Don’t touch me.” You stated voice cold.

“Well what the fuck do you expect? I do every fucking thing you tell me, hoping that you can at LEAST validate my efforts and be with me during the party I threw for you. But no. You’re off with you Ex of all people laughing and completely ignoring me.” Bucky said voice raising only a bit. The hurt was evident in his voice, but you were going to give in.

“I thought you trusted me? Do you think something is going on?” You looked at him, knowing that would make him feel bad. “No but it’s just seeing you look so happy with him, hurt.” Bucky whispered.

“Knowing you can have him and any other guy and be normal and live a normal life, with someone who isn’t as broken as I am, someone who doesn’t have to wait two months before being okay with holding hands. Seeing you so happy with him makes me wonder if you’re gonna find someone better and realize you can do so much better than the horrible thing I am.” Bucky whispered not being able to look into your eyes. Your chest hurt from hearing the words leave his mouth. You hated when he was like this.

“Look at me James.” You states sternly grabbing both of his hands in yours, putting two fingers under his chin and making him look at you with his blue eyes that melted your heart.

“I love you. Only you. I don’t care if i can have a ‘normal’ life. If normal means not you, i don’t want that. I want you James Buchanan Barnes. I want you and every one of you flaws. I want you and your good and bad days. I want you and only you. You’re my soulmate and nothing can change my mind. I understand if you think he was flirting and honestly he probably was, which is why i was laughing so much. He probably thinks he can take me back to make me like him again, but little does he know you could snap his neck with your pinky” you smiled at he let out a slight chuckle to your last comment. He pulled you into his chest as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m sorry for being such a loser on your big day” Bucky mumbled into your hair as he kissed your forehead. “You’re my loser, the party is still perfect angel” You said kissing his jaw. He stared down at you with pure love in his eyes. “We should probably go back and open presents huh” He smiled kissing your lips between each word. “mmm maybe we should” You said closing your eyes and savoring the moment.

The two of you left Ace to sleep and headed out silently as Bucky told you his plan to threaten your ex. You laughed at his fake macho voice and kissed him once more. “Thank you for everything bucky, really it’s perfect” you said sincerely. “Anytime doll” he smiled as you entered the booming room packed with all the familiar faces. As you wondered off to find something to cut the cake with, y/e/n came up to Bucky.

“There you are! Been looking for you, where’s Y/N?” He asked slyly. Bucky stood a little taller and let the light catch his metal arm. “Listen kid, I’m gonna tell you this once and only once. You flirt with my girl one more time, you try and ‘threaten’ me or try and overshadow me by hanging out with my girl, and I’ll make you wish you were dead. Hell you might actually be dead. Is that clear?” Bucky said in a deep voice close to his ear. He frantically nodded and quickly scampered away as you came back smiling.

“When will you ever learn James” you teased giving him a nudge and leading him to the table. “They gotta know who you belong to babygirl” he smirked as you blushed. “You’re just a big softie” you teased as you two enjoyed the rest of the night together and with friends.

#bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #readers birthday x bucky #bucky barnes imagine #jealous!bucky #reader x bucky barnes #bucky barnes blurb #jealous bucky barnes

366 notes · View notes

onceuponanaromantic · 5 years

Note

🍵 let the world know of our angst 🍵

Aha.

Welcome everyone to:

TUA JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY AU by @a-blue-hoodie and me!

In this AU, we have *drumroll please*

DIEGO

- A protective Tengu who mainly takes care of the Patches

- He Fucked UpTM once and Eudora ended up being killed

- It’s his greatest failure and he’s vowed to do better

- He’s friends with Klaus! And Ben!

KLAUS

- Our favourite ghost seeing boy is a shinigami!

- Everything he touches dies and when his situation gets particularly bad and he’s feeling emotional, he emits a Cloud of Death which causes everything in a certain radius around him to die

- He HATES it and he wishes he wasn’t a shinigami

- Boi’s like immortal and he’s constantly shunned by everyone

- He mostly hangs around Ben and Vanya (who is dead)

- He’s been friends with Ben for a long time, and at some points they haven’t interacted with humans for a Really Long Time which leads to... hilarity.

- Spoiler alert: he kills Ben by accident

BEN

- Bean boy’s a kitsune!

- He’s got like 6 tails when he meets Klaus

- Spoiler alert: He dies

- That’s not the angst part, oh no, we have WORST hoho

- Ben’s been captured by an onmyogi and basically forced to kill and tortured all the way since he has 2 tails to the time he had 5 tails

- He only escapes because the last time he was told to kill, it was a small boy named Dave. Who realises what happens so he fakes death and binds Ben to him to protect Ben all the way until Klaus turns up to investigate

- See all these dead souls that Ben kills? They did NOT die easy or happily. So there’s a huge influx of these souls so Klaus is like ok we need to check this out

- The only thing that gets Ben through is the knowledge that it can’t be forever. It can’t be because Five told him that his ghost will only have 6 tails so he knows he’ll die at some point.

- Then Ben meets Klaus and like he’s so thankful like ‘oh are you here for me finally?’ and Klaus is like ‘No????’ and Ben ends up befriending Klaus knowing he’s going to end up dead.

- His power’s exponential not linear like most other Kitsune so by the time he was 6 tails he had like 9 tail power

- Basically he’s crazy powerful which is part of the reason why Five just told him

- After his death, which was caused by Klaus, he’s actually kind of relieved like ‘IM FINALLY DEAD HAH YOU CAN’T DO SHIT TO ME NOW’ and like he’s the least emotionally affected by his own death. Klaus is sobbing and grieving and he just

- returns. Completely nonchalantly.

- He retains his powers after death too.

FIVE

- Teleporting tenko kitsune that’s the boy

- Idiot was supposed to ascend to heaven but... he forgot and missed his window

- He was doing research and got distracted. (NO ONE BELIEVES IT WHEN HE TELLS THEM THAT)

- So now he’s forever stuck in a child’s body

- He can teleport and see into the future

- First time he met ben he was like ‘oh your ghost is going to have 6 tails’ and Ben was like ????

- He’s been around so long he genuinely doesn’t understand why people are upset by the idea of death and themselves/the people close to them dying

- got his name because he met Delores when he had 5 tails and she didn’t know what a kitsune was so she just called him 5

- Then delores dies and he wasn’t bothered enough to find a new name so yeah

- He’s like insensitive as fuck but also really wise

VANYA

- Resident Violinist is now a natural disaster causing onryo

- she was really scared of her powers and timid and very much a walkover when she was alive

- then Leonard tried to use her as a Nice Guy and manipulate her into causing a natural disaster around and she Finds Out about what he tried to do and she went ‘oh FUCK THIS’

- Leonard ends up killing her, but her ghost is full of anger and having none of it

- and proceeds to enlist Klaus’ help and kills Leonard

- that’s the first time Klaus is really ok with taking his gloves off and like trying to kill because really Leonard was an asshole and he did just try to destroy an entire country because he wanted power. (also Leonard reminds him of the onmyogi who controlled Ben for centuries)

- After he kills Leonard, Klaus thinks Vanya’s unfinished businessTM should be done but like she’s just. I’m Still Angry I’m Staying.

- And Klaus is like uh. Sure I guess. And so she hangs around him and somehow she retains her powers as a ghost?

- She’s Really Sassy and sometimes Klaus will be like ‘Would it kill you to be a little nicer?’ and she looks at him deadpan and goes ‘yes’

- She’s also constantly salty and has full control of her abilities because ‘really. I’m dead what’s the worst that can happen’

BONUS:

DAVE:

- Hachiman/the actual Prince

- He was supposed to become the emperor but went like nahhhh

- He’s actually like a minor god of war and worshipped by the samurai but like he doesn’t brag about that

- As a child he saved Ben until he met Klaus and like ‘Oh ok shinigami ok I can trust him’

-When he’s older he’ll remember he did Something about a Kitsune and a Shinigami but he doesn’t know it’s ben and klaus

- hilariously he ends up dating Klaus

- He meets Klaus at a ball and like some cinderella bullshit happens and like Klaus doesn’t recognise him because he’s been away from civilisation for so long

- Hilarity ensues because Klaus introduces him to Diego who DOES recognise him and Dave shushes Diego like SHHHH DONT TELL HIM HE DOESN’T KNOW

- Poor longsuffering Diego tbh. He tries to Hint at Klaus but Klaus does NOT get it

- ‘Oh no the prince is way out of my league I’m sure he’s nice and all but I’ve already got Dave’ ‘I’m sure the prince would be lucky to have you.’ ‘Aww thanks Dave’ *Diego sobbing*

- Oh yeah he gets killed.

- Klaus’ shinigami powers don’t work on him but Klaus doesn’t know that. Dave can’t be killed by magical means but like normal physical means work

- He dies in a horrific fashion

AND THAT’S ALL

Some key scenes:

- Klaus often walks about with Ben and later Vanya by his side making comments. Especially after Ben’s death. They’re really good friends

- POOR DIEGO TRIES SO HARD TO HINT AND LIKE EVEN EUDORA GETS IT BUT NO KLAUS NEVER FIGURES OUT FOR A LONG TIME THAT HIS BOYFRIEND IS AN ACTUAL GOD HE JUST THINKS DIEGO’S BEING A BI DISASTER

- ‘how’ ‘idk man but Ben didn’t know either? anyway don’t tell him’ ‘UGH’

- Ben’s death comes about because like Klaus is trying to snatch Ben away from someone who’s trying to control him so he’s trying to kill the onmyogi after Ben so gloves off but his gloves are still off when he touches Ben’s hoshi no tama, aka his actual soul. Usually his powers don’t work on Ben but like it’s his soul so Ben feels something weird and goes ‘well shit’ and dies

- Ben’s had a hard life really like he was kidnapped by someone who took note of his prodigious and unnaturally powerful magic when he was just 2 tails and forced to kill. When he kills, his power grows but it also hurts Ben a LOT. And he hates it and it’s torture but he’s literally forced to.

- The only thing he can cling on to is Five’s declaration that his ghost will have 6 tails so it won’t be forever it’ll end at some point and that’s how he endures being tortured for several centuries :)

- He’s so grateful to see Klaus because he really thinks that it’s the end for him thank god. and he’s so happy and klaus is like no? i’m not here to kill you i’m literally trying to prevent your death and ben is disappointed

- Eudora’s death is a really sore spot for Diego because like he was off chasing some robbers and vigilante-ing becos Eudora told him there were some robbers threatening people and he was like WELL LET ME HELP. And he does manage to catch them but that means that he uses some magic.

- So when the Patches are in danger, he protects them, but Eudora realises her friend is in danger and runs back in for them and Diego doesn’t have enough magic to shield her too and that’s how she ends up dying.

- See vigilante work is NOT part of tengu’s job so Diego effectively failed terribly at doing his job

- No one blames Diego, least of all Eudora, but like he failed. He failed in his job as a Tengu he’s a failure of a protective spirit he had only one job in his life he had to do 1 (One) thing and he couldn’t do it.

#the umbrella academy #au #diego hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five #five hargreeves #number five #vanya hargreeves #dave katz #eudora patch #japanese mythology au

40 notes · View notes