#not to be gay but her fidgeting with her nails is so cute

[solsticeswackstuff]

Justice for LipJ! Justice for Angela! Let her be petty:)

[onlysarah235678]

A Little Bit Part 3

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x female reader

A/N:  So damn…this happened fast. I don’t really know what to say. Other than I’m obsessed with Billie Dean. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. This part has a lot more Billie in it so hopefully that’s a plus. ❤️

Warnings:  Brief mention of death. Otherwise, the normal gay panic and kitten cuteness.

When Billie Dean realized that Bit wasn’t going to take care of Mickey beyond occasionally feeding him, she took it upon herself to keep him warm. She’d sent you an update a while ago, but hadn’t heard back, so she was keeping Mickey with her at all times.

She still had things to do today, so she’d changed into more comfortable clothes, she’d had to dig around her closet for a while to find something appropriate for carting Mickey around. She’d eventually settled on a hoodie she hadn’t remembered keeping and made her way downstairs to work some more with Mickey wrapped in a smaller blanket, in her pocket. It wasn’t ideal and she’d have to take him back up at some point to try and nurse more, but for now she had to figure out what her week was going to look like.

She had talked to her assistant, Michelle, about finding a more suitable pet sitter. She needed them to take care of Mickey like she was now. It was a pain, but she needed to find someone who would actually do it. She was willing to pay however much she needed to until he was out of the woods. Hopefully that wouldn’t be too long, but finding someone meant she could focus on work again.

She had just finished 2 months of filming in Europe for her show. She was tired and glad to be home. Luckily now that things had been finished up last week, she would have more free time. Still, she had a lot of promotional things to do such as interviews and she might have to rerecord some things. Honestly a lot of her responsibilities at this point just involved making decisions. That could mostly be done from home.

Most of it could be done by her assistant, but Billie was keeping Michelle busy with finding her a pet sitter. For this reason, she sat down in front of her computer and answered more emails than she had in a while. She sighed in relief when she was done and reached for a cigarette without thinking. It was already in her mouth when she looked down to Mickey who was sleeping in her pocket. She sighed in defeat before putting it down so she could check on him. He looked comfy so she didn’t want to bother him now. It had only been about an hour, but it was almost dinner time.

When Billie realized this, she reached for her phone to check and see if you responded. It had been a while and she wondered what you were up to. She really had no idea what you did in your free time, outside of watching movies.

Billie scrolled through her unread texts before she saw one from you that must have come in while she was on the phone earlier. She frowned at your first message because it confirmed what she feared. If Bit didn’t want to take care of Mickey that could mean that she might have to bottle feed him. That sounded like a giant pain. She decided not to worry about that until she had to.

The second message made her curious. She wondered who Milo was. Maybe a boyfriend? She disregarded the thought quickly because she was pretty sure that you were single. She had a feeling you wouldn’t have flirted with her, let alone asked her out without mentioning that you were dating someone.

Billie hadn’t been subtle when they’d met. She had been flirting and Y/N had flirted back. You didn’t strike her as the dense type, you were clearly smart, but she supposed she couldn’t know for sure. At least not until Saturday.

She considered the place they’d chosen for lunch. It was closer to her than the vet’s office which she was grateful for. She also knew that it wouldn’t really have mattered. She was eager to see you again, so much so that it should be embarrassing. She couldn’t really explain it. She just wanted to see what happened between you two.

Billie’s attention was pulled from her phone when Mickey shifted slightly in her pocket. She decided it was time to check on the other kittens, so she texted you back quickly before heading upstairs yet again.

Not a problem. Did you and Milo have a good time?

Milo was asleep on the couch when this text reached you and you laughed out loud as you looked to see how he was positioned. The dog was curled up on top of one of the throw pillows that was way too small for all of him to fit on. That said, the rest of him was slung over the armrest in what looked like the most uncomfortable position ever. You rolled your eyes before snapping a picture and sending it to Billie.

We did. He tired himself out.

You go to the kitchen to figure out dinner after sending the message. You don’t expect an answer quickly but only a few minutes later your phone buzzes from your pocket. You were in the middle of cooking, so you finished up before looking to see what Billie said.

He’s so adorable. Mickey and the other kittens are sleeping too.

You squint slightly at the picture that she sent you, trying to figure out where it was taken. It’s obviously Mickey sleeping somewhere dark, but it’s a weird angle and you’re at a loss. So you text her back asking where she’s keeping him. Hopefully she was taking your advice to heart and she was keeping a close eye on him.

Where’s Mickey sleeping?

In my pocket.

You laugh so loudly that you wake Milo up.

The next couple of days are a little less hectic for Billie Dean. Michelle found someone qualified to take care of Mickey and company, she needed to come up with names for the rest of them, while she was at the studio. They didn’t seem to have any troubles and they sent her text messages every so often which she appreciated.

It seemed ridiculous to be so nervous about these kittens, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted them to do well so they could go to good homes. She had decided that once they were old enough, she would take them to the clinic to be adopted out. She trusted you to send them to good homes. Even Bit who would definitely be fixed before going off to her next home. Hell, Billie might even have it done sooner. The idea of her getting out and doing this all over again made her physically and mentally exhausted.

You and Billie exchange text messages every day, but you’re back at work and busy for most of the day, so they’re pretty spotty. Once you get home, you barely have the energy to make yourself dinner, but you somehow manage to check in on Billie and the cats. So far, so good. They’re all getting bigger and one is close to opening their eyes according to Billie.

It isn’t until Friday night that you allow yourself to freak out about your lunch ‘date’ with Billie. You’ve been keeping yourself busy so that you’re not stressing too much. However, your method for keeping busy was watching her show after work, and even on lunch one day. Erin, who had helped you with Billie’s appointment, had actually caught you and you’d been able to play it off easily enough, but you’d been frazzled around her for the rest of the day. Erin had been glad that you were finally watching it because it was great and Billie was amazing and inspiring and the idea of seeing this woman, this celebrity again was growing more and more intimidating.

Sometimes you wished that you could just enjoy things and not stress about them up until they happened. Unfortunately, that wasn’t who you were, and you were still a little tense when you got in your car Saturday to meet her.

It was a pretty popular place that you two were meeting at, but it wasn’t hard to spot Billie once you realized where you should look. She was tucked away in a back corner outside. You stopped to talk to the hostess for a moment before you were pointed in the right direction. Not that you noticed.

You took a deep breath as you headed for Billie, watching as she noticed you from a couple tables away and stood up. You only had a moment to take in her appearance, a knee-length floral dress with heels that made her much taller than you.  You were a little surprised when she hugged you, but you didn’t complain when you recognized the same perfume she’d been wearing at her appointment. You don’t have time to question how you remembered that before Billie was speaking.

“Good to see you again, Y/N. Goodness you’re so tense.”

She chuckles under her breath while you blush slightly at the reminder about how you’d failed to calm down on the way here. You sit down across from the blonde before shrugging slightly. You looked down to where the medium’s nails-a different color this time-were fiddling with a cigarette.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just a little—it’s good to see you too.”

You cut yourself off before you can say anything too embarrassing, but Billie Dean, clearly realizing what you were going to say, shoots you a questioning look. You watch as she brings her cigarette to her lips, a lighter not far behind it before shooting you a different kind of look.

“Do you mind, sweetheart?”

You usually don’t like it when people smoke around you, but you can’t bring yourself to say no to her. You shake your head before watching as she lights it and takes a drag. You know you’re staring, but you can’t help it. You never really saw smoking as attractive. Until now of course.

“You’re a little what?”

You pull your gaze away from the cigarette now over the ash tray between you before looking back to Billie’s face to see that look is still there. You shake your head remembering what she’d asked before shifting slightly in your seat.

“Um—nothing—nervous. Just a little.”

You take back the lie when Billie raises an eyebrow in disbelief at you, and you briefly wonder how anyone gets away with lying to this woman. She’s still eyeing you in a way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope, so you look back to your hands that are fidgeting in your lap.

“Why are you nervous, sweetheart?”

Okay. You feel a blush rise to your cheeks at the question and the damn pet name again. You almost want to ask her to stop, but you’d never do that. You would never mean it. It was just damn distracting and you almost forgot to answer when Billie speaks up again.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Y/N.”

You nod to yourself and try to summon your courage as you sit up straighter. You open your mouth to agree and maybe apologize for being such a mess when the medium adds something that stops you cold.

“I won’t bite. Yet.”

You feel your brain short-circuit at the thought of biting-oh god and your face flushes as red as a tomato. You hear her chuckle, but you miss the almost apologetic look she shoots you as you shake your head to clear it of those thoughts.

“Right, uh. I guess I just didn’t know what to expect.”

Billie nods in understanding as she takes another drag before offering you a smile.

“I don’t expect anything from you, Y/N. I just wanted to get to know you a little better.”

Any response you were going to give was interrupted when your waiter, Rick, came to take your drink orders. You just ordered a soda before taking the menu handed to you. You missed what Billie ordered as you busied yourself with looking for something to get. Despite the fact that you’d looked at the menu beforehand and knew exactly what you were getting.

“Okay. I can do that.”

You smile shyly as you duck behind your menu when Billie laughs. She takes another drag of her cigarette before putting it out and moving the tray from between the two of you. You watch over your menu curiously before you hear her voice again and your attention snaps back to her face.

Her hair looks a lot like how it did when you first met. It looks so soft and you really want to run your fingers through it.

“How long ago did you move to L.A?”

This question surprises you a little bit and Billie just smiles as you put down your menu before answering. You smile slightly as you do the math in your head quickly.

“Almost 6 weeks.”

You pause before asking, “How did you know?”

Billie’s smile widens as she thought back to your conversation earlier this week. “You didn’t seem to realize that it doesn’t get very cold here.”

You laugh before nodding. That’s what you thought had tipped her off. That and the fact that you had no idea who she was. Not that you’d told her that yet, or planned to.

“That makes sense. All I really looked into when I got my job offer was housing. I figured the rest would sort itself out later.”

Billie waited until your waiter came back with your drinks before responding. When he asked if you were ready to order, Billie told you to go first and she watched you curiously as you spoke with Rick. She smiled when you turned to her once you’re finished and she orders before handing her menu off to Rick.

“Did you and Milo make the trip together?”

You smile at the mention of your dog. You had sent Billie at least three more pictures of him throughout the week since he was always with you. Even at work, there was a doggy daycare so he was hardly ever home alone. You hoped that he wasn’t ripping anything up as you speak.

“Yeah, we drove here since he would have lost his mind on a plane, but it was a nice, long trip.”

You told Billie about how the day after graduation, you packed up your car and drove cross country with your dog. It took you about a week because you stopped a lot to sightsee, but it was relaxing and you definitely were glad you did it. You didn’t mention any family, but Billie didn’t ask so you decided to save that for later.

“I’d lived there all my life, but L. A’s a nice change. Not that I’ve seen much of it.”

Billie smiles at this and she bites back a flirty comment as she watches something change in your expression. It’s gone so quickly that she doubts she even saw it before you shoot her a smile, your dimples making you look adorable.

“Enough about me. What about you Billie?”

Billie smiled before she shot you a surprised look. “You mean you didn’t Google me?”

She had been kidding, but when she saw you blush slightly, she was glad that she’d said it.

God you were adorable.

You searched for a distraction and settled for taking a sip of your drink as you tried to figure out what to say. The truth was embarrassing, but you didn’t really want to say anything else. So you sighed in defeat as you put your glass down, and met Billie’s smug smirk.

“I actually didn’t Google you until you agreed to lunch. I honestly…I didn’t know who you were until about ten minutes before you arrived at the clinic.”

This surprised Billie, but she didn’t say so because she didn’t want to sound like a narcissist. Instead, she decided to see what you were willing to tell her.

“Really? Well did you learn anything interesting?”

You laughed before shrugging in faux disinterest. You’d read a lot about Billie Dean, but that didn’t mean you were going to tell her that. You didn’t simply want to tell Billie her life story. You’d rather hear it from her.

“Nothing as interesting as what you could tell me, I’m sure.”

You smile as you watch Billie stop short of reaching for her cigarette. She turns to you looking faintly surprised before she just laughs.

“You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Instead of offering a verbal response, you just smile widely only to break out into a laugh as Billie rolls her eyes at you.

“Well, I just got back from Europe last week. We’d been filming there for the past couple of months.”

This piqued your interest because you’d been to Europe a couple of years ago, but you hadn’t gone much further than Germany and Italy.

“Really? Where in Europe?”

Billie Dean spent up until your food came talking about the months she’d spent in Europe. She talked about what she’d seen and a little about the spirits she’d encountered. She made sure to check periodically to see if you were actually interested, but there was really no need. You were so invested in what the medium was saying that you didn’t pay your food any attention once it arrived. You were starving, but you didn’t want to miss anything that Billie said.

“I’m just glad that it wasn’t a complete waste of time. Sometimes that happens and it’s frustrating.”

You nod as you think about how this must work. You supposed that it was a common occurrence for Billie to run into stubborn souls who didn’t want anything to do with her. You had heard her say in one of her episodes that she could sense spirits without seeing them, and if they wanted to be seen they would reveal themselves. Otherwise, she was just talking to air and that was difficult to make entertaining.

“Can I ask a potentially dumb question?”

Billie nodded before she took a bite of her lunch. You watched as she swallowed before offering you an encouraging smile.

“Of course, Y/N.”

You nod before taking a moment to figure out how to best word this. It was bound to sound generic and like something she’d been asked a million times before, but you were genuinely curious. You knew very little about mediums. Unless the one or two episodes of Long Island Medium you’ve seen counted.

“Does it ever get difficult to tell who is a spirit and who isn’t? If they appear around you anywhere, how do you differentiate between them and just another person at this restaurant?”

You look around the crowded area as you say this, missing how Billie looks over your other shoulder instead. She takes a deep breath before closing her eyes briefly. She doesn’t notice that you’d turned back until she opens her eyes to see you looking at her curiously. Billie immediately shakes her head with a small smile despite her slight unease.

“It’s not a dumb question, honey. The best answer would be that it was confusing at first, but now that I’ve learned to pick up on their energies and hear their thoughts, it’s easier.”

You try to imagine this, but you fall short because how can you? The idea of living your everyday life and being able to feel and see dead people was overwhelming. You looked back to Billie to ask one final question when you notice she’d fiddling with the cigarette she put out a while ago.

“What’s your favorite part about your gift?”

This question is a little unexpected. Billie immediately stops fidgeting and smiles at you in admiration. Most people see her gift as a burden, or as a way to make money. Some even see it as an opportunity to exploit spirits for the sake of entertainment. She can see that you are truly just curious, and that you aren’t put off by the idea like a lot of people are initially. Or worse, fawning over it and asking her to sense the room or anything like that.

“I love when I can help people who don’t realize that their loved ones are still with them.”

Billie’s answer strikes a chord in you and you try to hide it, but you are a terrible liar. You knew you’d failed when you saw Billie frown slightly, but you spoke up quickly so you didn’t have to talk about that. You weren’t ready and the idea of doing so now, especially with someone you’d just met was terrifying.

“You must find that very rewarding.”

Billie doesn’t answer immediately, but you pretend not to notice as you busy yourself with your food. Billie can tell you don’t want to talk about it, so she just files your reaction away for another time before nodding in agreement.

The rest of lunch goes smoothly and by the time it’s over almost three hours have passed. It’s practically dinner time.

You don’t want to leave. You’ve enjoyed the time spent with Billie so much. She’s so easy to talk to, and you could honestly listen to her speak for hours and hours. It wasn’t until Billie looked at her watch that you realized she needed to go. You figured she had to get back to work, but she shook her head when you asked.

“Duty calls?”

Billie smiles before shaking her head. She’d finished all of her work this morning so she could spend as much time as possible with you. She hadn’t told you that and probably wasn’t going to, but she did need to get home.

“Not quite. I just need to check on the kittens soon.”

She watches you smile at this before sitting up slightly to lean in a bit in interest.

“Oh right. They’re still doing okay?”

Billie confirms that all of the kittens are doing well. They’re all growing and nursing and despite the extra attention that Mickey requires, he’s doing well too.

“They are. They’re getting so big. I swear they’ll probably be walking around soon.”

You laugh at this before trying to imagine 6 kittens wandering around Billie’s home. You picture all of them sitting on the medium and that’s just too adorable. You’re pulled from your daydream when Rick comes back with the check. You grab it before Billie can and smile victoriously when you see her pout.

“Sweetheart I was --.”

“Nope, I’ve got it!”

You quickly hand your card to Rick, trying not to freak out at the idea of him hearing Billie call you sweetheart. You feel your cheeks heating up so you just smile as you look back to Billie with a wave of your hand.

“Don’t worry about it. I asked you here after all, so my treat.”

Billie was still frowning as she shook her head and you opened your mouth to offer some sort of reassurance. You didn’t get a chance before she was smiling at you in a way that made you swoon.

“Alright, but next time, it’s on me.”

You can only nod dumbly as you try to process the fact that Billie Dean just implied that she wants to see you again. You barely notice Rick bring your card back as you frantically try to think of when you’ll be free next.

“Have a good rest of the day, ladies.”

You look up at that point a little caught off guard, but before you can stumble over a response Billie speaks for you both. You just focus on doing a little math and signing your name before putting your card back in your wallet.

“Ready to go, Y/N?”

You nod and stand-up following Billie’s lead out to the parking lot. You realize she’s just following you to your car, and you turn to ask her where she parked, but a hand on your lower back stops you.

“It’s okay, I’ll walk you to your car.”

You were so focused on just getting out of there with some semblance of your dignity that you hadn’t realized that people were taking notice of Billie. You just nod and start digging in your pocket for your keys. You unlock your car, leaning against it before you turn to Billie with a smile.

“It was good seeing you again, Billie. We should do this again sometime.”

You say this kiddingly, but at the same time you’re completely serious. Billie chuckles under her breath before nodding in agreement. She brushes some loose hair behind her ear and shoots you a dazzling smile.

“We should. When are you free next?”

You don’t even pretend like you hadn’t been thinking about it since the check came and responded immediately.

“My next days off are Thursday and Friday. What about you?”

Billie’s slightly disappointed that she’ll have to wait that long, you are too, but she mentions that her nights are pretty free next week. So you decide on dinner next Thursday night, since you work next weekend before you part ways.

Billie seems a little more on edge than she was when you arrived, and a quick glance around confirms why. Of course people will take notice of Billie Dean Howard. You just smile before reaching out to squeeze her hand.

“I’ll see you at some undisclosed location Thursday night?”

Billie insisted on surprising you for next time and you couldn’t help but find it both romantic and nerve-wracking. She merely nodded before letting you know that you’ll just have to be patient.

“I’ll let you know Wednesday, Y/N. Thank you for lunch.”

With one last squeeze, Billie released your hand and left you a little dazed. You watch her walk away until you realize you’re staring, so you quickly get in your car and shut the door. You take a deep breath before getting buckled and heading home.

You leave the parking lot and are a couple blocks away before you start screaming.

You have a date with Billie Dean.

You’re going on a date with Billie Dean Howard.

When you get home, you’re eternally grateful that Milo didn’t tear anything up. After a quick run through of the place to confirm this you retreat to your room to change clothes. You’re antsy all of a sudden, not that it takes a lot of thought to figure out why. You’re excited, terrified and you feel like crying a little which seems ridiculous. So instead of doing all of these things you decide to take Milo on a walk that will probably turn into a run to burn some energy and hopefully calm yourself down.

“Ready for a walk, Milo?”

As you predicted, your adorable dog runs to find his leash and bring it to you. You make sure you have your keys and phone safely tucked away before heading out.

You’re not typically someone who likes exercising in front of people, and if you didn’t have Milo you wouldn’t be going out for a run right now. Luckily your insecurities and paranoia are the last thing on your mind as you lock up and take off down the street, Milo right beside you.

You were too busy thinking about your date with Billie Dean.

Holy shit, what were you going to wear?

Part 4

[daring-elm]

My Counterfeit Romance

01 - The Deal

AO3 | Masterpost | Next

Genre: Fake Dating AU

Relationships: Platonic Prinxiety; Pre-romantic Moxiety

Characters: Roman Sanders; Violet (Virgil) Sanders

Warnings: (Mentioned) Homophobic Parents

Words: 700

In need of a fake girlfriend to keep his parents off his rainbow trail, Roman asks out Violet. She asks him for a favour in return.

- - -

Violet crossed her arms over her patchwork hoodie. She hesitated a moment before responding, “You do know I’m gay, right?”

Roman nodded, making a frustrated gesture with the hand that wasn’t still clutching the strap of his messenger bag. “I know, and—look, I only need a girlfriend for, like, a month, and I need it to be someone I know won’t fall in love with me—”

Violet snorted.

Roman flushed red. “Oh, shut up, you know how the fanfictions go.”

Unimpressed, Violet picked at her nail polish, and Roman grimaced as she chipped off another bit of black paint. She raised an eyebrow at him (it was unbelievable how calm she was; wasn’t she at least interested in what he had to say?). “Shouldn’t you be worried about falling for your fake girlfriend too?” she asked mockingly.

Roman tensed. Violet’s smile fell as he looked around nervously, reassuring himself that no one was close enough to hear before admitting, “I’m gay.” Some tension left his shoulders, but he still couldn’t quite look Violet in the eye. “My parents aren’t supposed to find out, so I told them I have a girlfriend who’s in my math class to get them off my back, but now they want to meet her and you’re the only lesbian I know, so please?”

Violet sighed, burying her face in her hand. “Okay, even if I go along with—that, what’s in it for me?”

“I could get you…” Roman frowned. “What do you even like? A new flannel?”

“Stereotypes.”

Roman looked her up and down. “MCR merch?”

“Got enough already—okay.” She thought for a moment, brushing purple bangs out of her eyes. “You’re… good with people, right? Generally, I mean, not really in this situation—”

Roman scoffed.

“—but you could… fuck, how do I—” Violet worried her lip between her teeth. “She’s in drama club with you.”

Immediately, Roman’s face lit up. He cooed and Violet went scarlet.

“Don’t say a word, Princey, or I will end you.”

Roman didn’t even try to wipe the massive grin off his face. “Do go on.”

Violet hesitated, fidgeting with her sleeves. “You know Penny, right? She—”

"She walks on stage and even though she's only playing a minor character, it seems like every spotlight is shining for her. She brightens your days with her beautiful voice. She looks enchanting in that skirt Roman made for her; oh, if only there was a way to thank him for creating something so wonderful for such a wonderful person—" His hand resting on his heart, Roman paused. “She’s gay?”

“Bi. I just think she’s cute, you weirdo, and I wanna get to know her but flirting is weird and hard and—” Violet strained through the words as if each syllable would have rather stayed in her mouth than be spoken out loud. She stopped mid-sentence, staring at her shoes.

Roman paid her embarrassment no mind. “So if I help you get a girlfriend, you’ll pretend to be mine?”

Slowly, Violet nodded. “Seems fair.”

Roman grinned, slinging an arm around her shoulder. “We have a deal! Oh, by Cupid’s golden arrows, this will be marvellous! You two will be the belles of every ball—”

“Yeah, yeah, keep it down.” Violet pushed him away and Roman made a noise like an offended cat. “I don’t need the whole school to know.” Despite her protests, a faint smile tugged at her lips. “So, uhh…” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “When do I…”

“Oh!” Roman thought for a moment. “How’s next Friday, for dinner? Here—” He pulled a strip of paper with a phone number out of his bag. “Text me; we’ll talk about everything later.”

“Do you just carry those around with you?” Violet muttered, but she still pocketed it. “Yeah, I’ll—I’ll let you know.”

“Well then, My Counterfeit Romance—” Roman bowed dramatically. “I await your message.”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Violet sighed. Smiling, she rolled her eyes, then saluted with two fingers. “See you around, Princey.”

[anxious-logic]

Support

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 24: When you meet your soulmate for the first time, you get a brief flash-forward of your future.

Ship: Romantic Intruceit, Platonic Creativitwins, background Logicality

Warnings: Homophobia, Remus is kicked out of his house for coming out, some swearing, brief mention of knives, message me for more detailed warnings if you like.

Word count: 2925

Summary: Remus comes out to his parents. It doesn’t go well.

Remus took a deep breath as he squeezed his brother’s hand.

“I love you,” he said. Roman squeezed back, looking up at Remus with worry.

“I love you too,” he said. “It’ll be okay.”

Remus didn’t say anything.

“It- it has to be. Right?”

Remus shut his eyes tight, tilting his head back. “I don’t think so,” he forced out.

Roman slumped forward, his forehead hitting Remus’ shoulder and his arms coming up around his chest. Remus pretended not to notice the wetness soaking into his shirt from his brothers’ tears. “I’m here,” he said. “I love you. I- I don’t know what else to say.” Roman was full-out crying now, his shoulders heaving as he gasped for breath. “I’m sorry that- that I can’t do it too,” he said through the sobs.

“No,” Remus interrupted, his hands coming up to cradle Roman’s head. “You need to stay safe. I know I have places to go if I need to, friends who can take me in. You- you don’t have that. And you’re not ready. And that’s okay. You take as long as you need. And you don’t have to do something just because I do.”

He was rocking the two of them gently back and forth, feeling tears drip down his face into his mustache. He carded his fingers through Roman’s hair, pulling his brother closer to him.

“We’ll still go to school together, okay? We can still see each other if-”

“Don’t-” Roman said sharply, burying his head a little further into Remus’ chest.

“Okay,” Remus said softly, but he couldn’t help but finish his sentence in his mind.

If I get kicked out.

***

“Mother? Father?”

Remus fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt as his father looked up. He felt his mother’s hand touch his shoulder.

“Yes, Remus?”

He took a deep breath. “I have something I want to tell you.”

His father raised an eyebrow, looking up over his book. “What is it?”

Remus snuck a glance at Roman, whose face was pale. He was shaking slightly in his chair, a motion that was only barely visible to Remus.

“I…”

He swallowed a lump in his throat.

“I’m gay.”

There was a moment where everything froze, and Remus thought that maybe it’d all be okay, it was fine, he was wrong-

“Pardon me?”

His father’s voice was sharp, his mother’s hand squeezing painfully tight on Remus’ shoulder. He tried to force down the knot in his stomach.

“I’m gay.”

Then all hell broke loose.

His mother yanked her hand away from his shoulder, her long nails scraping painfully against his skin. His father stood up, dropping the book to the floor, an imposing figure over where Remus was shrinking into his chair.

“How did you come to this conclusion?” his father asked, each word stabbing Remus in the stomach like a knife.

“How did you come to the conclusion that you’re straight,” Remus shot back, and immediately regretted it from the look on his father’s face.

“You will go to your room, and think about your choices,” his father said. It was so tight, so controlled, that Remus knew something bad was boiling under the surface.

“Okay,” he whispered.

“Roman, stay here,” his father ordered, as both of the twins stood up. Roman dropped into his chair, shaking visibly now.

As Remus slowly walked up the stairs, his eyes taking in everything about this house, he did his best to ignore the lack of noise from downstairs. It would almost be better if it were screaming, shouting, breaking plates, anything to show how his parents were feeling.

What would happen to him?

He hadn’t exactly been telling the full truth when he’d told Roman that he had a place to stay if he got kicked out. He’d talked to an acquaintance, who was able to take him for a couple days, but he’d need to figure out somewhere else to go pretty quickly. He’d looked into youth shelters in the area; there weren’t many within walking distance of his school.

He mechanically started loading up his backpack and a duffel bag with clothes and little things he wanted to take with him. Even if he wasn’t kicked out for this, it would push him that much closer to the edge.

He sat down on his bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. He put up a hard shell, but… he’d really miss the house, his experiments, the pets outside his window.

His brother.

He was interrupted by a knock on his door. “Remus?” His mother’s voice called out. As he got up, he took one last look around his room.

He opened his door to see both of his parents standing in front of him. His mother was wringing her hands, standing slightly behind her father.

“We are giving you one hour to pack,” he said. “Then you will get out of this house, and we will not see you again.”

Remus bit his lip. “Okay,” he said quietly. He stepped back slowly, watching his parents walk away from him.

He was startled by his brother barreling headfirst into him. “I love you,” Roman said. “I’ll miss you, but I’m still here, okay? If you need anything- tell me, I’ll get it to you. We still have classes together, you said it, we’ll be okay.”

Remus’s arms came up around Roman. “I promise,” he said. “I’m all packed already, so we can just… talk together, for a bit, one last time.”

Roman bit the inside of his cheek. “Okay,” he whispered, his hand slipping down to hold Remus’s, his head tilting into the crook of Remus’s neck.

***

Remus hiked his bags up a little higher on his shoulder, looking back at the outside of his house. He would probably never get to go back inside.

He had a passing thought that he should probably be feeling something at that realization.

He slowly turned to trudge down the dimly-lit street, his feet dragging slightly. He felt his thoughts wander in every direction but the one they probably should have been going.

What would he do when he had to leave Virgil’s house?

He looked up as he reached the door, hand hovering over the doorbell. He rolled his shoulders, feeling the weight of his bags shift on his back. He pushed the slightly glowing button, hearing the muffled ring that came from inside.

After a moment, Virgil opened the door, a happy smile on his face. When he saw Remus on the doorstep, his eyes widened and his smile vanished.

“Fuck,” he said, opening the door. He stepped forward to grab one of Remus’s bags. “Shit, Remus, are you okay?”

Remus gave him a slightly manic smile as they entered the house, leaving his shoes at the doorway. “I just got kicked out, what do you think?”

Virgil put Remus’s bag down in the corner of the dining room. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, taking a deep breath.

“Okay. I have some friends over tonight, they’re not really… my normal style? But I think that’s okay, they’ll like you, just… play nice, please? I don’t want to have to mediate between you?”

Remus decided not to argue the fact that Virgil assumed Remus would be the one starting any arguments, because, well, that wasn’t inaccurate.

“I’ll try,” Remus said, his fingers coming up to twirl his mustache. Virgil rolled his eyes at the action.

“Seriously, I don’t understand why you’re keeping the mustache,” he said as he led Remus to his bedroom. “It doesn’t look that good, it’s so… scraggly.”

Remus grinned. “That’s the point!”

As Remus walked into the bedroom, he saw two people in Virgil’s room. One of them was sitting on the floor wearing a gray cat onesie, their bubbling laughter filling the room. The other was standing over the other, wearing a polo shirt and a necktie. Their face looked serious, but when Remus looked closely, they appeared to be holding back a smile.

“Hey guys,” Virgil said, interrupting the two of them. They looked up at Virgil, the first one with an excited grin, the second one with a curious expression. “I have… an unexpected guest, I guess. This is Remus, he’s staying with me for a couple days.”

“Hi Remus!” the first person exclaimed, standing up and bouncing on their toes slightly. “My name’s Patton, he/him pronouns. Nice to meet ya, kiddo!”

“My name is Logan,” the other person introduced, holding a hand to Remus. “They/them, please.”

Remus took the offered hand, tilting his head as he shook it. “Whatcha in a tie for?”

Logan took a step back, their hand needlessly coming up to adjust the knot of the tie. “I prefer professional wear to casual. Pajamas are designated for sleeping. Therefore, if I am awake, I wear a necktie.”

Remus thought about it for a minute, then shrugged. “Whatever works for you,” he said happily. He plopped down on Virgil’s bed, feeling the comforter move underneath him.

Virgil sat down on the bed next to him, maybe a little closer than was exactly necessary. “Those two are soulmates,” he said, gesturing to Patton and Logan. “They can get disgustingly cute sometimes, it’s why I keep Janus around, he can third-wheel with me when they’re being all lovey-dovey.”

Remus’s lips twitched slightly. “Who’s Janus?” he asked, not being familiar with the name.

“He’s in the bathroom getting ready for bed right now,” Patton offered, his hand in Logan’s lap. They were absentmindedly tracing patterns on the back of his palm.

“Not anymore,” a new voice said. As Remus looked up at the new person, the first thing he thought was that’s a pretty face, before getting sucked out of his spot on the bed.

***

Janus whirled Remus around, a huge smile on his face. When he put the other man down, he tilted his head to press their foreheads together.

“I love you so much,” he said to Remus. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

Remus giggled, tickling Janus’s face with his mustache. “Roman’s my best man,” he said. “Patton can walk me down the aisle instead of the fuckers that birthed me, I get to wear a dress and I don’t care if you do too, and we’re going ring shopping approximately now.”

“Okay,” Janus said, shrieking a little as Remus hugged him so tightly his legs left the ground. As Remus put him down, he pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss.

“I love you,” Remus whispered as they came apart. “And I always will.”

***

Remus blinked himself out of the scene, not knowing how he was supposed to be feeling right now.

He’d met… his soulmate. On the day he’d been kicked out. During a sleepover he’d accidentally crashed.

“Janus? Remus? You okay?” Patton interrupted them, his head tilted inquisitively to one side. Logan had stopped brushing their fingers over his knuckles, instead looking at them with an off-putting intensity.

Remus looked to Janus, his eyebrows raised. “Apparently… we’re soulmates,” Janus said slowly, his voice smooth as melted chocolate, and that was not normally something Remus would think, what was going on?.

Patton squealed, jumping up and bouncing over to pull Remus and Janus into a hug. “That’s so amazing! I’m so happy for you!!”

Remus stiffened at the unexpected touch, slightly panicked. Janus glanced at Remus, and gently pushed Patton away.

“Thank you,” he said. “Possibly… could Remus and I have a bit of privacy to get to know each other a bit better?”

Logan stood up – Remus was slightly surprised by the gracefulness they exuded. “Of course,” they said, gently grabbing Patton’s hand. “Let’s make cookies,” they said, tugging on his arm. “As much sugar as you want, I have some of your favorite recipes memorized…”

As their voice faded out as they went downstairs together, Virgil turned to the two of them. “Listen, I don’t know either of you all that well, but if you either of you get hurt, I will kill you. Understood?” He looked at them both seriously.

“Understood,” Janus said, his voice sincere.

“Yeah,” Remus said, as he realized they were both looking at him. “I won’t hurt him, promise.”

Virgil nodded. “Good,” he said, exiting the room and closing the door. Remus went to turn to Janus when Virgil suddenly opened the door again.

“And don’t get up to any nasty shit in my room!”

Remus cackled as he pushed the door closed. He turned around to see Janus blushing a bright red, but his expression was contemplative. “I wouldn’t complain,” Janus said thoughtfully. Remus collapsed forward, laughing.

Then the laughter turned slightly hysterical, and Remus realized it wasn’t really laughter anymore.

Janus’s arms came up around him, rubbing gently up and down his back, as tears began trailing down Remus’s face. “Get it out,” he heard distantly. “It’ll be okay. Go ahead, don’t worry…” Remus just kept crying into Janus’s shirt, his tears soaking the black pajama shirt.

Remus sniffled as his tears started slowing. He fisted his hands in the back of Janus’s shirt, looking down at the snake-printed pants.

“I like your pants,” he said, his voice thick through the snot and tears still making their way out of his face holes.

“Thank you,” Janus said, his hands moving to Remus’s shoulders. “But… what was that about? If you’re comfortable talking about it, of course. No pressure, but it’s common that soulmates help each other when they break down crying into the other’s shirt for fifteen minutes.”

Remus jerked back, unintentionally meeting Janus’s eyes. “Fifteen- what?”

Janus shook his head firmly. “I don’t mind. I’m just wondering if there’s something going on that you want to talk to someone about.”

Remus bit his cheek, debating.

“If you’re not comfortable, I would recommend writing some of your thoughts down somewhere nobody else can see, because that seemed like it was caused by more than one incident or event. I’m not going to force you to say anything, but I would like to help you if possible.”

Remus backed up, wiping his face with one of his hands. The other was still desperately clutching Janus’s t-shirt.

“Can we sit down?”

“Of course,” Janus said, maneuvering the two of them onto Virgil’s bed, tucking his legs up underneath him. Remus did a kind of backwards belly-flop onto the bed, landing starfished with his face to the ceiling.

“What’s going on?” Janus asked gently.

Remus couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You make it sound like this is therapy or something,” he giggled. Janus just smiled down at him softly, and Remus couldn’t help but feel like he was melting into a gooey mess of… something, his brain wasn’t working right now.

“Really. What’s wrong?”

Remus took a deep breath, trying to figure out where to start.

“Um. I got- kicked out? Earlier tonight?” He heard Janus’s breath catch. “Yeah,” he said, staring at the ceiling. “I came out to my parents, they sent me to my room and told me I had an hour to pack before I was gone.” He gave a humorless laugh. “Worst part is, my twin brother’s gay too. He hasn’t come out, because he’s not ready, and that’s totally fine! But now he’ll be terrified to come out, and I don’t want that for him, because… he should be able to.” He paused for a minute, absentmindedly jiggling his legs where they were hanging off the bed. “I should have been able to. I should be in my bed right now, annoying Roman with my snoring, ignoring my homework. I should be listening to my pet raccoon outside the window. I should be thinking about what prank I’ll pull at school next. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be worrying about where I’m going to stay in three days. I shouldn’t be wondering if I’ll be sleeping on the streets in winter. I shouldn’t be kicked out for loving…”

He paused, slightly surprised by where his thoughts were going. Then he shrugged internally, and decided to go for it.

“I shouldn’t be kicked out for loving you.”

He looked over at Janus to see his reaction. He had frozen, a look on his face that Remus would call “besotted” if they hadn’t met less than an hour ago.

“Remus…” Janus started, before trailing off. “I can’t… guarantee anything. But if you told Patton and Logan what’s going on… they’d be able to figure something out with their families, I’m sure of it. Patton has a good family with a secure financial situation, and Logan knows practically everything. Between the two of them… I’m sure you could figure something out.”

Remus slowly sat up, thinking about what Janus was saying. “Really?” he asked quietly.

Janus reached over to grab his hand, flipping it palm up so that he could lace their fingers together. “Really.”

Remus leaned over to lay his head on Janus’s shoulder. “Okay. Virgil said he’d be able to keep me for a few days, but I’d have to figure something else out. So… I can get to know them both better, and ask them, and see what they can do?”

Janus turned his head into Remus’s hair, brushing his lips against the top of Remus’s head. “That sounds like a plan.”

Remus sighed as he closed his eyes, exhaustion setting in. “I just want to sleep,” he whispered.

He felt Janus smile into his hair. “Go ahead,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Remus slipped off into sleep, secure in his soulmate’s arms.

[thestarsaroundyourscars]

72 and 60 with reddie please?💞

For you, lovely.

PS: Let’s pretend for a minute that the Derry Town House has a hot tub. 

60. “You have no idea how much I want you” & 72. “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

Read on AO3

Richie was close to falling asleep, the warm, bubbling water of the hot tub helping him relax. He’d been tossing and turning in his bed for hours before he snuck out of his room to use the hot tub downstairs, hoping it would help his aching muscles and his bruises⎯ apparently, running around the sewers and fighting a demon clown for the second time in his life had taken a toll on his forty-one year old body.

And it was working. And Richie was glad that even a shithole like Derry’s Town House had a hot tub. 

“Do you know how many infections and diseases you can get from that water?" 

Richie opened an eye to find Eddie, peering down at him from the edge of the tub. 

"Eds, we just spent the past day splashing around in the sewers. This,” Richie held out his arms, gesturing at the water bubbling around him, “Is definitely an improvement.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose in disagreement, eyeing the water warily. 

“It’s relaxing. I needed to relax.” Richie continued, sinking further in. “You look like could use some of that, Eds. Why don’t you jump in here?”

Eddie shook his head, sitting on the edge of the tub. “Yeah, no. That’s not fucking happening.”

“What? Are you afraid you won’t be able to resist me?” Richie waggled his eyebrows. He noticed the way Eddie’s eyes darted down to his chest, as if he was only just noticing that Richie was shirtless. His cheeks flushed and he looked away.  

“Hardly.”

“Ah,” Richie gave him a shit eating grin. “He’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, splashing water on Richie’s face, giggling when Richie spluttered. He thought about returning the favor, but Eddie would probably throw a fit if Richie got his pajamas wet. 

“So, if you’re not out here for a midnight dip, what are you doing here Eds?" 

His face pulled into a frown. "I was making a call in the lobby. I saw you through the doors.”

“A call? This late?” Richie asked, confused. “Was it a booty call?” He gave Eddie a sly grin. “Because you could’ve just knocked on my door you know, save yourself the trouble." 

"No, I was⎯ I was calling my lawyer, actually.”

That wasn’t what Richie expected, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. “Your lawyer? What, you’re gonna sue the state of Maine for psychological trauma? Because I’m in.”

Eddie snorted, then shook his head. “No, I⎯ I’m getting a divorce.” He said, biting the inside of his cheek. 

Richie’s breath caught in his throat, he blinked repeatedly at Eddie. “Oh, wow. That's⎯” He paused, reaching up to adjust his glasses. “I really don’t know what to say to that." 

Eddie chuckled. "Well, that’s a first." 

"I mean, are you okay?” Richie said, fidgeting slightly. “Do you need a shoulder to cry on? I’ve been told I have nice, broad shoulders.”

A small smile curled along Eddie’s lips. “Thank you Rich, but I’m okay actually. I think⎯ It was a long time coming. I’ve just been too scared to do it." 

"Why now?”

Something in Eddie’s expression flickered, but Richie couldn’t catch what it was. “There’s a number of reasons.” He said, dipping his fingers in the water, distracted. "First of all, once you defeat an alien clown, a lot of things that you used to find scary just don’t seem to be anymore.” He explained, face scrunching up. “Then there’s the fact that I got all my memories back and finally realized I married my mother’s replica." 

Richie bit down on his tongue, knowing Eddie wouldn’t appreciate whatever joke he was about to make.

"And then there’s you.” Eddie continued, finally looking up at Richie.

“Me?” He asked nervously, eyes bugging out of his head. “Why⎯ what about me?”

Eddie gave him a look, but Richie remained blissfully ignorant. Then his eyes were traveling over his body and Richie fidgeted under his stare, feeling exposed and painfully aware of the fact that he was wearing only a pair of shorts. He felt weirdly nervous and just like he did everytime he was nervous, he tried to hide behind a joke. 

“What? Did you find out your wife was lusting after me all this time? It’s okay Eds, you know the effect I have on Kaspbrak women, your mom was the same, she could never get enough of⎯ wait, what are you doing?”

Eddie had stood up. At first, Richie thought he was going to leave, chased away by Richie’s running mouth but then he was toeing off his slippers and sliding into the tub, his clothes still on. “I thought you said⎯”

“I know what I said.” Eddie cut in. He stood there, across from Richie, clothes wet and sticking to his body, the thin material of his shirt clinging to him and Richie had to tear his gaze from his chest before he started drooling. This was his wet dream unfolding right in front of him, Richie could feel his nerves get the best of him. 

“What? You’re gonna fight me for your wife’s honor?“ He joked, but his voice came out strangled. 

"No, but she might try to fight you for mine." 

"Wh⎯ what?” Richie stammered out, brain short circuiting at the implication behind Eddie’s words and then again, when Eddie started moving towards him in the tub.

“I’m not divorcing my wife because she has a secret crush on you. I’m divorcing her because I do.” He said, coming to a stop right in front of him. Richie plastered himself against the edge of the tub. Short of jumping out of it altogether, he couldn’t do anything to escape. He was left staring up at Eddie with wide eyes. “And because I’m gay. But mostly because I’ve had this big dumb crush on you since we were kids." 

Richie wasn’t entirely sure he didn’t fall asleep at some point and was dreaming all of this up, but then Eddie reached over and cupped his cheek, softly running his thumb over his stubble and maybe it wasn’t a pinch, but it still snapped Richie out of it. 

"Me too.” He blurted out. “You know, to all of that. Except the part about the wife, I don’t have a wife, but if I did, I would divorce her for you. Because I have a big gay crush on you too, Eds. And I’m gay.” He paused, surprised at himself. “Wow, I think that’s actually the first time I’ve said it out loud.” He looked straight at Eddie. “I’m so fucking gay and I love you." 

He grimaced as soon as the last words left his mouth, feeling like he already ruined everything by freaking Eddie out⎯ bringing up love when no one said anything about it. 

But Eddie wasn’t running away, he was grinning, watching him ramble with a fond look. And then he was saying, "I love you too Rich,” making Richie’s chest explode with butterflies. 

Then Eddie was moving to straddle him, his legs on either side of Richie’s, his hands resting on the edge of the tub, and those butterflies turned into fizzing heat, pooling on Richie’s stomach.

His arms remained at his sides, his brain not knowing what to do with a lap full of Eddie Kaspbrak, no matter how many times he’d imagined it.

Eddie chuckled, feeling Richie’s muscles tense up. “Who’s the one who needs to relax now? You’re all stiff." 

Richie choked out a laugh. "Oh, I’m stiff alright.” He said, feeling his dick starting to fill up embarrassingly fast, considering they’d done nothing at all.

“We should do something about that.” Eddie said and rolled his hips the tiniest bit, mouth curling into a smirk when Richie let out a strangled noise.

“Holy shit.” He muttered and then they were both moving in, lips crashing together. There was a short needy noise that Richie couldn’t assure didn’t come from him, his brain too focused on Eddie to care⎯

Eddie cradling his face in his hands, Eddie sliding his tongue into his mouth, Eddie rolling his hips against him. Eddie Eddie Eddie. 

Richie’s hands reached up to grab his waist, sliding under his wet shirt. On the next roll of his hips, Richie felt Eddie’s erection through his pants, pressing against his, causing them both to let out a moan.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to⎯” Eddie was saying, breathing heavily as he continued to press against Richie.

“Oh, I want to.” He groaned, pressing kisses to the column of Eddie’s neck. “So much. You have no idea how much I want you, Eddie.”

“Me too, fuck.” Eddie gasped, one of his hands leaving Richie’s face to move down his chest until it rested over the waistband of Richie’s shorts, waiting for permission.

Richie gave a firm nod and Eddie’s hand ducked inside his shorts, pulling him out. Richie groaned at the touch, hips jerking up. 

When Eddie started stroking him, Richie had to bite down on his lip to keep from crying out, heat building up inside him. 

Feeling lightheaded, all the blood currently in his dick, Richie moved his hand to palm Eddie over his pants, causing his rhythm to falter and a whine to escape from his lips. He tucked the waistband under Eddie’s balls and grabbed his erection. When Richie started moving his hand, Eddie cried out, his head dropping on Richie’s shoulder.

It would be over sooner than Richie wanted and he would be feeling a little embarrassed by just how fast, if Eddie wasn’t just as desperate as Richie. There would be time to take it slow, next time. Richie needed there to be a next time. Many times in fact, to make up for lost time. 

“Richie. Oh god, Rich.” Eddie panted against his neck, his hand speeding up. Richie could only moan in response, squeezing Eddie’s dick. Their hips thrusting against each other, wanting more.

“Come on Eds. Fuck, I love you. Come for me baby⎯" 

He gripped Eddie’s waist, nails digging into the skin and then, Eddie was coming, spilling over Richie’s hand and crying out his name as he did. 

"Richie.” He muttered, voice slurred and breathless. His hand was still moving, working Richie’s dick. “God, I fucking love you.”

It didn’t take more than that, Richie was coming only a second later, biting down on Eddie’s collarbone as he stroked him through the aftershocks.

They rested their foreheads together, both of them catching their breath.

Richie opened his eyes when he heard Eddie make an unhappy noise. He was frowning at the water, face scrunched up. “No, nope. This was a bad idea.” He muttered and Richie’s heart skipped a beat when he thought Eddie might be regretting doing this but then, “I can’t believe I let you convince me to do this in the fucking hot tub!”

“I convinced you? What? Eddie, you literally jumped on me! I didn’t have a say in this!”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Well, I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“I wasn’t, you’re the one who’s complaining! You’re ruining my afterglow.” Richie said, sinking further down and leaning his head against the edge. “Let me enjoy this.”

Eddie wrinkled his nose. “How can you enjoy sitting here? We just came in this water! Not to mention these things are like a growing culture for all kinds of bacteria and fungus and⎯ stop laughing at me!”

“I can’t help it! You’re just too cute when you go on about bacteria and body fluids. Keep going and I might get hard again.”

Eddie punched his shoulder, but he couldn’t help but laugh with him. His eyes were crinkling in the corners and it made Richie’s heart skip a beat. He couldn’t help himself, pushing up so that he could kiss Eddie again. He melted in Richie’s arms, happily returning the kiss. 

Richie would’ve been happy to keep kissing him, but Eddie was bound to freak out again⎯ about the hot tub, the dirty water or the fact that any of their friends could walk in on them.

“So, want to go back to my room, take a shower and do this again on the bed this time?” Richie asked, smiling against Eddie’s lips. 

Eddie nodded, giving Richie one last kiss. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Tag list: @daddyphantomtbh @yes-dillman-yes @richietoaster @beepbeeprichiellc @its-stranger-than-you-think @lemonaayyee @losers-gotta-stick-together @tinyarmedtrex @richiefuckfacetozier @sam-i-am2468 @stylesmelon  @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @constantreaderfool @hammockrichie  @jesuschristsupruvestar @mirandonsky @reddie4diaster @alargedepresso @purplepoisonedgem @pan-ini @reddie-to-cry @reddieforlove @trashmouthnick @multi-fandom-wby @wheezyeds @nancynwheeler @reddieslashgeneralhorror @madi-personal @reddie-tozibrak @lover-mouth @atownofeggs @that-weird-girls-blog @appojoos @castielwinovak @a-gay-treee @twoidiotsinl0ve @fcngirltrxsh @spirited-marvel @typewrxter (if you want to be added, let me know!)

[bytheangell]

Long for the Next Distraction

(Read on AO3)  (inspired by this tweet) (also blood donation so needle tw!) 

“Blood drive, hosted by Pride! This Friday, noon to four, outside the East Commons!”

Alec normally avoids eye contact with the people on campus with clipboards and flyers but the guy in front of him is the sort who demands attention. His tight black jeans, black and red shirt, and the matching red streak through his hair look more put together than Alec has felt in his entire life. And once he makes the accidental eye contact the guy smiles at him, and the color that rises high on Alec’s cheeks matches all of those accents.

“Coming to the blood drive Friday?” He holds a flyer out to Alec and Alec hesitates just a moment before taking it from him - noticing the black polish on his nails and too many intricate rings to take in at a glance.

Alec is suddenly very aware of the faded gray sweatpants and letterman jacket he’s wearing from his high school, and the rough calluses of his hands that brush against the impossibly smooth skin of the guy handing him the flyer.

Underneath the basic date/time/place of the event are a number of facts and statistics which focus on the percentage of Americans banned from donating blood simply because they’re men who have sex with other men, and other disparities between the national blood shortage and the restrictions keeping an entire willing subsection from helping. It isn’t just for a good cause - it’s to raise awareness, too. These are the sorts of things he wants to get involved in one day… when he can casually admit to more than just Jace and Isabelle that he’s gay, that is. He isn’t hiding it anymore, and that alone is a huge step for him. He simply isn’t broadcasting it, either.  He remembers a day not too long ago where he would’ve take one look at the flyer and dropped it like even being associated with holding it might ruin him, and something warms in him at the very positive shift in his life since the start of this year.

“Sure,” Alec says immediately. He hadn’t really thought about it before now, but with any luck in his college dating life this might be his last chance to donate blood for a long, long while. Not that he’s going to say that out loud, but he wants to help while he can.

The blonde next to Alec raises an eyebrow. “What are you--” but falls silent as Alec ‘accidentally’ hits him in the side with his elbow when he brings his arm back in from taking the flyer.

“We’ll be there,” Alec repeats, his words taking on a pointed tone as he side-eyed Jace.

“I’ll see you Friday then-” The guy’s eyes dart down to a space on the chest of Alec’s jacket where his name is carefully stitched in gold thread, before turning back up to his face with a smile. “-Alec.”

Alec gives a slightly flustered nod and smiles back, starting to walk away with Jace following close behind.

“Alec, you hate needles.” Jace points out. “The last time you needed a shot-” “Shut up,” Alec cuts him off. “That was forever ago, I’ll be fine. Plus, it’s for a good cause.”

“Uh-huh. Whatever you say.” Alec can hear the smirk in Jace’s tone before he even looks over. “I’m sure the cause is the only reason you’re going.”

“Oh, look, it’s that cute redhead from Econ!” Alec says suddenly, and Jace stops walking to whip his head around in every direction.

“What? Where?!” He frowns when he realizes Alec is just messing with him. “Alright, point taken. Let’s just grab dinner and I’ll stop giving you a hard time about blood guy.”

“...we’re not calling him that.” Alec decides immediately, turning left to head to the dining hall with a small smile he’s careful to hide from Jace.

---

When Alec shows up on Friday he isn’t sure if more of him is hoping Magnus will be there, or hoping he won’t. He only met the guy once, hardly enough for even a proper crush, but it’s the first time he felt those butterflies in his stomach over someone since he reached a place in his life he could - theoretically - do something about it. Of course he’s always been a disaster when it comes to flirting, so it’d probably be better if they just never crossed paths again.

There’s also the small fact that Jace bailed on him at the last minute, and doing this alone isn’t exactly something Alec’s looking forward to. In fact, maybe it’s a sign, and he really should just head back to his dorm and get some extra revisions done on his paper. That’d be safer for everyone…

Which is not at all what the fates have in mind for him that day. Once Alec spots the same spiked-up hair and smile he remembers from the other day it’s too late to turn around.  

“You came!” The guy says, practically beaming. “Alec, right?”

“I said I would, didn’t I?” Alec points out, unable to help a too-wide smile in return. His energy really is infectious. “And yeah, it’s Alec. I don’t think I caught your name, though…” he says, obviously inviting the information.

“Magnus. The pleasure’s mine, I’m sure.” Magnus shifts the stack of flyers he’s holding to his left hand to reach his right out to shake Alec’s. His nails are a deep crimson today to match the highlights in his hair, Alec notices. When Alec brings his gaze back up from Magnus’ hands he finds Magnus staring rather intently at his eyes, and Magnus doesn’t look away when Alec catches him doing it, either. A faint blush rises in Alec’s cheeks for the second time in as many encounters with Magnus and he makes quick work of the handshake and turns his gaze to the side.

There’s a table set up with flyers, stickers, pins, and a donation jar to support the group. Alec doesn’t hesitate to reach into his pocket and pull out a $20 to toss inside even though he doesn’t take anything. It’s the only cash on him but he isn’t hurting for money, and he’d only blow it on lattes from the overpriced place on campus anyway.

“Wow, thanks! Sure you don’t want something?” Another guy manning the table with dark brown hair and glasses offers, but Alec shakes his head.

“No, thanks. I don’t really--” he starts, but hesitates, not sure how to say what he wants to say without it coming out all wrong.

“Hey, say no more, that’s cool! We always welcome the support of allies.” “Oh, I’m not an ally,” Alec says instinctively as he moves away from the table.  

“Oh,” Magnus says, sounding deflated. It isn’t until Alec sees the face Magnus makes that he stops to think about how that sounded.

“Shit, no, I don’t mean--” Alec stutters out, not sure how this could possibly get any worse. So with that in mind he takes a quick glance around before finally managing, “I mean, I’m gay.” It’s a work in progress, saying it out loud as a statement rather than a secret, but he’s getting there.

“Oh!” Magnus repeats, in a much different tone this time around.

“Just not, you know…” Alec glances at the display on the table. “...I’m just not quite at rainbow bumper-stickers yet.” His voice is quiet and he averts his gaze to his sneakers, studying them very intently until Magnus speaks again.

“No judgment here. Really, it’s cool.” Magnus obviously picks up on the anxiety Alec was feeling about the admission and the reassurances are enough to bring Alec’s attention back to the reason he’s here in the first place, which he almost forgot after everything else.

Magnus steps a little closer, holding out one of the flyers from the other day with the facts on them. “You do know that there are regulations against donating. If you’ve… been active lately.” Magnus doesn’t look embarrassed to talk about it, though he’s doing his best to be quiet and discreet so it isn’t a thing for passersby to overhear.

Alec realizes what he’s hinting at and nods, praying that he doesn’t sound as pathetic as he feels. “I know. I haven’t quite, uh, gotten there yet, either.” He’s suddenly regretting everything that drove him to show up here today, because the last thing he wants to be doing is discussing is lack of a sex life with the hot flyer guy.

“Hey, no judgement there, either,” Magnus repeats with that easy smile back on his face.  “Just didn’t want you to be wasting your time. A lot of people don’t realize until they’re filling out the questionnaire.”

Alec nods again, wishing he had something to say that wasn’t prolonged and increasingly awkward silence on his end while he waits for the person already talking to the donation crew to finish filling their form out. Thankfully, Magnus picks up the slack.

“You didn’t bring your blonde friend?” Magnus asks, and Alec shakes his head and hides the flicker of a frown that crosses his features, trying not to give away how nervous he is to be there alone.

“No, he got held up after class,” Alec shrugs, but bites down on the corner of his lower lip a little.

The lady at the door of the donation van motions for them to come over and Magnus nods that way, walking Alec over to the door and following him inside to continue talking to him just a bit longer.

“You alright?” Magnus asks, catching the way Alec rubs at the back of his neck once they’re inside the van. Alec wonders if he looks as anxious as he suddenly feels.

“Yeah, I”m fine! Never better.” Obviously forced, too excited. Alec is trying too hard and if Magnus doesn’t notice the lab technician certainly does.

“This isn’t your first time giving blood, is it?” The woman in the lab coat asks as she makes her way over to him with the standard form to fill out on a tablet.  

“No,” Alec says, and that much is casual and confident because it isn’t a lie. He just leaves out the fact that every time ended with him on the floor, if not during the process then immediately after.

“Well then, you know the drill. Just fill this out and we’ll get going.” The tech smiles at him.  

Magnus looks back towards the door, fidgeting with the flyers in his hands. He has the look of someone who knows he should probably go and Alec realizes he stopped bringing in new volunteers to linger and talk with him.

But Alec doesn’t want him to leave again, especially not as he looks at the needle attached to a tube just a few feet away, eyes widening slightly.

“Do you want me to stay?” Magnus asks, but Alec shakes his head. Needing someone to hold his hand while he donates blood isn’t the first impression he wants to make.

“No, I’m fine,” Alec insists, making his way over to the chair in the far corner of the van. The tech pulls out the needle and gives it a tap, and that’s all it takes. 

Alec’s vision starts to spin, the edges going black as his breathing comes in short, sharp gasps, and he sways. Alec doesn’t have time to react before he feels his knees go weak underneath him and the room goes black.

--------

The flyers flutter to the ground at his feet the instant Magnus sees Alec start to sway. He’s next to Alec in an instant, arms outstretched to catch him the best he can. Mostly he softens the fall, allowing Alec to tumble into him before backing them against the wall to brace himself. Alec’s body slumps against his chest and Magnus can’t keep his grip, only managing to let him slide down to the floor as gently as possible.

“Let’s get him to a bed,” the tech suggests, moving to help Magnus carry him over to one of two makeshift beds for just-in-case scenarios like this. Alec’s legs dangle over the edge but at least it’s better than nothing.  

“I’ll get some water and crackers for when he wakes up,” Magnus says, thinking of the food he has in his backpack outside.

“We have the juice and food for the donors right over there,” the tech points out. “It’s usually for after donations to keep this from happening, but…” She laughs a little, clearly no stranger to fainting donors, and Magnus grabs a plastic bottle of orange juice and a packet of crackers - and some oatmeal raisin cookies (just in case, since he has no idea what the guy likes) - before walking them over to the table next to Alec’s chair. He sets them down and then lingers, hesitating next to the bedside.

“Are you going to stay with your friend until he wakes up?” The tech asks, and Magnus only falters a few seconds before nodding.

“Yeah, I can stay.” Magnus knows he should be outside but Simon will be fine on his own for a bit. He doesn’t point out that he’s only spoken to Alec twice for a grand total of 10 seconds, let alone long enough to be his ‘friend’. But he doesn’t want him to wake up here alone, either. This was obviously what Alec was so worried about earlier, the poor guy.

So Magnus takes a minute to go pick up the papers he dropped earlier before settling in, sitting down in the chair next to the makeshift bed and sending Simon a quick text to let him know what’s happening. Simon responds back with more winking and heart-eye faces than should reasonably be in any single message, and Magnus rolls his eyes… but not without a small smile. He was very decidedly giving Alec looks the other day and today, just some minor flirting, but he was almost positive there was something there in the responses he got out of Alec.

When Alec starts to stir Magnus tenses by his side. Will he even want him there when he wakes back up? Is this going to seem way too creepy, like some horror movie stalker level of ‘I was watching you sleep’ concern over a guy he didn’t even know? They already had what was probably a way-too-personal conversation outside about his sexuality and sexual activity, even if it did serve an actual purpose, and the poor guy probably wants to get as far away from him as possible…

It’s too late for those sorts of worries because Alec’s eyes flutter open and land on him with confusion, slowly trying to process what happened.

“Where am I?”

“The blood drive. Why didn’t you say you were afraid of needles?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, fuck.” Alec groans, trying to sit up - it’s a motion he immediately regrets, closing his eyes again quickly before laying back.

“Here,” Magnus opens the orange juice and holds it out to Alec, making sure he has a decent grip on it before letting go. “There are crackers and cookies, too. I wasn’t sure which you’d prefer.”

Alec looks surprised. “Thanks.” He takes a small sip of the juice, smiles a little, then takes another before answering Magnus’ question about the needles. “I was hoping I was over that. It’s been about a year since the last time.” Alec sighs.

The tech reappears at the sound of their voices.

“Oh good, you’re awake, and you already have some juice and food. Take your time with those and head back home whenever you’re feeling up to it, alright? No rush.” Her voice is kind and patient in a way that tells them she sees this plenty of times for it to not be even remotely surprising.

“Actually… I’d like to try again. If-” Alec starts, catching all of them by surprise by his insistence, before he turns to Magnus. “Would you stay and distract me? Just until it’s started? Then I’ll be fine, I swear.”

Magnus isn’t sure why he feels butterflies over the request, reminding himself Alec is only asking him because he’s the only one there and no other reason.

“Sure. I’ve been told I can be quite distracting, so I might as well put those skills to good use,” he says with a wink, noting the way Alec bites back a laugh with success.

“If you’re positive,” the tech starts slowly. “I’ll try one more time, but if it happens again you’re done.”

Alec nods determinedly and they relocate to the chair again, with Magnus pulling a spare one over to sit across from him. He has to admire Alec’s dedication. Most people wouldn’t have even humored the idea of showing up in the first place, let alone a second attempt after passing out.

She starts to prep a spot on Alec’s left arm, and the moment Alec’s face turns towards it Magnus immediately reaches a hand out and touches his chin lightly. It’s instinctive, like dropping the papers to catch him, but this time he freezes for a moment once he realizes what he’s doing before slowly guiding Alec’s face back to look at him instead, hoping he isn’t being too out of line.

Alec doesn’t seem to mind.

In fact, he appears properly distracted by the touch to his chin, so Magnus drops his hand from Alec’s face to hold Alec’s free hand instead, rubbing small, repetitive circles onto the back of Alec’s hand with his thumb.  

“So, tell me a little about yourself, Alec. What are you studying?” Magnus isn’t shy about making eye contact, especially not when those hazel eyes are so lovely to look at.

“Are you really asking me my major? I thought you said you were distracting, not predictable.” There’s an edge to Alec’s tone but he’s clearly trying to make a joke, and Magnus laughs.

“Alright, is that how it is?” There’s a hint of challenge in Magnus’ tone. “I’d say tell me your biggest fear but I think we’ve had enough of those for one day, so…”

Alec’s gaze drifts over to his side at the thought and Magnus’ free hand is back up at his face, bringing it back over again. Maybe he welcomes the excuse to do that again a little too eagerly. “Oh no you don’t.” The tech is holding the needle now, Magnus notes, giving him a subtle motion of warning that she’s ready.

“Alright, so no boring school talk. I guess I could tell you all about how I spend my nights and weekends moonlighting as an exotic dancer, then. There is a lot of glitter, and a surprising amount of tassels. I own this one very interesting pair of assless chaps for country nights, and-”

“OW!”

Magnus feels Alec’s hand squeeze down on his with a surprising amount of strength and winces, wondering if a broken hand is worth sticking around to flirt with an impossibly handsome stranger he’ll likely never see again. He decides it is when Alec slowly releases his grip and looks at him with apologetic puppy eyes that nearly melt him on the spot.

“You’re all set, Alexander. It should only take about 10 or so minutes.”

“-Alexander?” Magnus repeats, eyebrow raised slightly.

“No one calls me that,” Alec says quickly. “It’s just Alec.”

“Pity. I quite like Alexander,” Magnus muses. “Also, for the record, I am not an exotic dancer. I just made that up to make sure I had your attention.”

“...you didn’t have to make up a story for that.” Alec’s tone is surprisingly soft, and there’s a hint of a nervous smile as he adds, “And that’s too bad because I’ve always wanted to actually see a pair of assless chaps. You hear about them but no one ever actually owns them.”

Magnus deadpans. “I said I wasn’t an exotic dancer, I never said I didn’t actually own a pair of assless chaps for country night.”

There’s a pause where Alec looks like he isn’t sure whether to believe him or not, and then they both start laughing.

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious” Alec admits, and Magnus takes a split-second to weigh his options before tossing caution to the wind.

“Maybe you can find out one day… though I think that’s at least third date material.” He watches Alec’s expression shift at the words with a flutter of anticipation.

“You’re probably right,” Alec agrees. “Maybe… maybe we could grab coffee first, sometime? If you want?”

Magnus has no idea why Alec looks so terrified when Magnus is the one who brought the idea up in the first place but it’s still endearing. “Coffee sounds great.” Magnus agrees.

They talk a little bit more about little things - how Magnus dabbles in creative writing in his free time, how Alec’s parents wanted him to study politics but he’s currently undecided and just feeling things out, much to their horror - and before they know it the woman is back to wrap up the donation process, clearing him to leave.

Alec goes to stand - slowly this time - but pauses, looking down.

Magnus realizes he’s still holding Alec’s hand.

“Sorry,” Magnus says, quickly pulling his hand back with a light laugh. “Guess we both got a little distracted.”

Alec laughs back, and Magnus finds that he thoroughly enjoys the sound. It isn’t the first time Alec laughed during their brief conversation and he notices that it always seems slightly surprised, like Alec is caught off guard to be enjoying a moment of simple amusement. It’s a great laugh.  

With any luck, Magnus hopes, he’ll get to hear a lot more of it soon.

[recordmcqueen]

Eyes, Eyeliner, and Eyelashes

i know it’s Alix week and I hope I can do something for her but until then have some lumana/lumarcnath uwu

*also wow i wrote two things in a single weekend ;O;*

Also on AO3

“So, Nath, what color are your eyes?”

“Huh?” Nathaniel looked up from his hands currently resting on Luka’s leg. He gave Marc a questioning look.

“What color are your eyes?” Marc repeated, looking at him closesly. More specifically, looking at his eyes closely.

Nathaniel swallowed. “Uh, green, why do you ask?”

“Your eyes are green?” Luka asked, surprised. He put down the nail polish brush for a moment to look at Nath, too. “Huh.”

“I mean, I figured they were a seafoam sort of color but I wasn’t really sure,” Marc said. “I can see that, but there’s definitely some blue in there that probably threw me off.”

“That’d be my contacts,” Nathaniel explained. “My eyes look greener when I take them out.”

Luka tilted his head to the side. “I kinda thought they were blue, too, but I never really looked closely.”

“Neither did I,” Marc said. “I never really noticed till today.” He stared into Nath’s eyes a moment longer before breaking his gaze away. He looked down, blushing.

“Well I guess it’s also cause the blue stands out more when Marc is there, too,” Luka noted. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more vivid green than yours.”

Marc’s blush intensified and he reached over to fidget with a bottle of nail polish. Luka went back to carefully painting Nath’s nails. The redhead watched him warily.

The guitarist raised an eyebrow. “If you’re not comfortable with this, just tell me and I’ll stop.”

Nathaniel shook his head. “It’s fine, I’m just not used to them being so...”

“Bright? Obvious? Sharply contrasting?” Marc offered.

“Yeah, that.” Nathaniel bit his lip. “It kind of blares out, don’t you think?”

Marc and Luka gave him identical deadpan looks.

The artist looked back down. “Ah, yes, I’m talking to the two guys who literally can’t go out in public without black nail polish.”

“Yeah, well you go out with full-on eyeliner,” Marc pointed out. “We all fail at subtlety.”

“That reminds me,” Nath said, distracted, “why doesn’t Luka wear eyeliner?”

“I do!” Luka gave him an incredulous look. “Have you not seen me?” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow and he sighed. “It probably blends in with my eyelashes.”

Marc gave a small cough that sounded suspiciously like “what eyelashes?” and covered his mouth with his hand.

“Well, for an aspiring edgy idol, you’re lacking considerably in the raccoon eyes department,” Nathaniel decided. “Marc, where’s your makeup bag?”

Luka paled. “Oh, no, we are not doing full-face makeovers. I have an interview in three hours and, no offence Marc, I don’t think the hospital reception is looking for amateur divas.”

“None taken,” Marc laughed. “But just imagine all those distressed faces going alight with joy at the sight of such a beautiful face behind the welcoming desk.”

“Yes, I’m sure they’d be thrilled to see a member of the Black Parade pointing them to their sick loved one’s room. Or better, one of those clowns at the wedding in I Write Sins Not Tragedies.”

Nathaniel glared. “Hypocrite,” he pointed accusingly.

Luka put his hands up in mock surrender. “I speak from an ignorantly objective perspective!” he insisted, “I would kill to join the Black Parade or go to that wedding any day!”

“Killing to join the Black Parade is kind of ironic, don’t you think?” Marc said in a stage whisper.

This time, Nathaniel and Luka both turned to stare at him.

“Wow, Marc, I had no idea you had a sarcastic side!” the redhead said, eyes wide. “Where is this coming from?”

Marc grinned in spite of himself. “Too much time on Tumblr, I guess,” he shrugged.

Luka shook his head. “I remember those days you’d be coming to me lamenting about how you could barely maintain a full conversation with Nathaniel, and now look at you!”

“Luka!” Marc groaned, at the same time Nathaniel said “Huh?”

The guitarist smiled at both of them slyly. “Yeah, Marc was a total gay disaster back when you both were just starting out. You were so cute, though, I couldn’t help teasing you about it. And now look, I got both of you!”

“Congratulations!” Marc said, half-sarcastic, and laughed, playfully slapping Luka’s wrist. “Besides, you were too busy trying to charm Marinette while having your eyes glued to Adrien Agreste.”

“Both fine and rightfully attractive human beings,” Luka nodded. “But you two are adorable gay nerds and I wouldn’t trade you for the hottest model on the planet.”

“Nah, you’d trade us for Gerard Way in a heartbeat. I bet you’d let him cover you in eyeliner,” Nathaniel said, and Marc snickered softly.

“Well, yeah, I would, but then so would you,” Luka defended. “And Brendon Urie is a no-brainer. I’d give up you two and my guitar for the chance to talk to him.”

Nathaniel sighed. “Valid.”

Marc nodded. “Very fair.”

“But in all other cases, you two are singularly irreplaceable,” Luka assured them.

The writer grinned. “That’s nice to know.”

Nath cleared his throat. “I’d also probably ditch you for Chris Hemsworth and maybe a couple of other actors from superhero movies, but apart than those, you can rest assured you have my loyalty.”

“What, are we setting down conditions for our fidelity, now?” Marc joked.

“Theoretically, yes-”

“Love is unconditional,” Luka cut the redhead off. “The odds of any of those theoretical scenarios ever actually happening are like negative 42. We’re together through thick and thin.”

“Through thick eyeliner and thin streaks that get hidden in your nonexistent eyelashes,” Nathaniel added.

“And again with the eyelashes- why won’t either of you tell me what is up with the ‘nonexistent eyelashes’?” Luka asked, growing annoyed.

“Nothing of your concern,” Nath and Marc singsonged in unison.

The guitarist raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? Cause you two both bring it up an awful lo-”

“Stop before one of us ends up breaking the fourth wall,” Mar cut in, then winced. “Shit.”

Nathaniel eyed him curiously. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before, either.”

“Well there’s a first time for everything,” Luka snapped, “now can one of you tell me what’s going on with the eyelashe-”

“Nothing! Now, about-”

“Don’t you try and change the subject on me, now!” Luka threatened.

As if on cue, both Marc and Nath’s phones started ringing. Marc looked incredibly relieved,

He leaned over and picked his up, standing up. “Well, would ya look at that, it’s getting really late and I really have to be getting home, now. Seeya, and good luck with the interview!” He didn’t spare another moment in leaving the room.

Luka turned to Nathaniel, who swallowed nervously, reaching for his phone. The taller one swept it out of his reach.

“Your nails aren’t dry,” he informed the artist in a dangerously lighthearted voice. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me-”

Nathaniel had reached his final threads of desperation and broke forward, lifting up and crashing right into Luka’s face.

A few moments later, the redhead hastily exited the room, leaving behind a considerably flustered musician and an open bottle of nail polish threatening to spill. Not that said musician paid any notice to the stain just waiting to happen on his jeans.

*

Nathaniel now had two prospects looming over his head. Luka was probably going to hound him down until he gave him an answer, but Nath could probably avoid him for some time, at least. Unless he decided to come pick up Juleka from school, but that was less likely and so less concerning.

He was going to have to figure out a similarly foolproof way to evade Marc, though, because when the writer found out that Nathaniel had kissed Luka without him, there wouldn’t be much of an artist on the Nath! Comics team left.

But he’d deal with that when it came. Tonight was for distracting his mind from the anxiety of the future by celebrating his first ever kiss.

[deh-genderbent-the-musical]

The World Falls Away (Jenni x Karliah oneshot)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14832848/chapters/34329827

((Everyone lives/nobody dies AU, things get better AU, slightly off characterization because it’s a heccin au AU. Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts, anxiety attack (not in detail, just glossed over), depression, cutting, and drugs))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I have an iced tea for… What is this garbage-“ Karliah turned the cup in her hand, looking at the order and squinting. “It’s for an… insanely cool Jennifer Kleinman?”

“Oi, I’m right here!” Jenni replies, pushing herself up to make herself visible to the taller teen barista. Karliah just snorts and rolls her eyes, thrusting the cup to Jenni. “I don’t get why you keep coming back. I’ve seen you three times this week, and it’s Tuesday... The coffee’s not that good here…”

“Yeah, why do you think I get iced tea and lemonade? Later, tall girl!” Jenni says as a farewell, lazily waving over her shoulder as she leaves the coffee shop. Karliah groans and rolls her eyes, going back to preparing orders- but never forgetting about that quirky short girl who came in every day, at least once a day, and always seemed to be a little too happy when Karliah served her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Ev?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“What do you think love feels like?” Jenni looks to her childhood friend, raising an eyebrow. Her glasses were knocked slightly askew from lying in bed with them on, but she didn’t seem to notice.

Evelyn turned pink, stammering inaudibly and trying to answer while avoiding eye contact. “I mean, I-I don’t- I’ve only ever had two crushes? I-Xander-Xander was my most recent one but I-but I guess it’s… It’s kinda fuzzy? Like… Your heart-your heart goes a little-a little faster, and it-I guess it feels like the world… The world’s a little… B-Brighter? And life doesn’t seem so sad and-and the world doesn’t look so corrupt because-because you have someone special with you… Sorry if-I’m sorry if that didn’t make any sense…”

“Nah, it made more sense than anything you’ve said recently… Who was your other crush? You said Xander was your most recent one.”

“Oh-Oh it… It was you, back when-when we were… 7 or 8? You-you were the only person who-who didn’t make fun of my stutter-stuttering or anxiety and you were-you still sorta are- my only real friend…” Evelyn admits quietly, fidgeting. “I-I’ve moved past that, don’t worry-I mean, not that you’d need to worry because we’re friends and sure it’s a little weird for friends to crush on each other but that shouldn’t really matter to us of all people because we’re- well, you’re gay, lesbian, whatever, and I’m bi, so we’re both gay to an extent and-“

Jenni clapped her hand over Evie’s mouth. “I get it. It’s fine.” She says with a small smile. “I… I think I’m in love, then. Or at least, I’m- I like someone. I think. I don’t know her, but she’s… She’s pretty cool. She’s… Pretty, as well. Like, physically. And I- I’ve got a class with her, so I guess I’ve heard and seen her there? But she works at a local little coffee shop and… Yeah it’s-“ Jenni looked down, flustered. Evie was shocked- Jenni was usually so confident, and yet right now, she was almost afraid to continue speaking.

“Jen, listen. If-If there’s anyone I know who can-who can ask out an almost stranger it’s-it’s you. So go! Go get her… Who is she?”

“…”

“Jen?”

“…….”

“Jennif-“

“Karliah Murphy!” Jenni exclaimed, sighing heavily. “Karliah… Karliah Murphy. Xander’s older sister.”

“… So wait, you’re-you’re interested in my boyfriend’s sister?... So-so technically, if both of us married Karliah and Xander… We’d be- hey, we’d be officially related! Sisters in-law, right?” Evie asks, and Jenni raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, but you’re… You’re taking this very well?”

“Well, yeah. Karliah may have anger-anger issues, and sometimes she seems like she’s got de-depression or something, but she seems like a-like a genuinely good person at heart. Like, she- she tries, but she doesn’t know… How? To be a good sister and daughter.”

“What if she’s not gay enough? Like what if she doesn’t like girls?”

“You’ll only know if you-if you try, Jen.” Evie pats her childhood friend’s shoulder comfortingly, flashing an uncertain grin.

“You know what, you’re right! I’m going there right now.”

“Wait, now? It’s-It’s 2AM!”

“So? I doubt Karliah sleeps. Doesn’t seem the type. She’s always got makeup below her eyes, to cover bags. Thanks for the pep talk, Ev! I’ll see you later- I’ll either be a sobbing mess or an elated idiot!” Jenni exclaims, opening Evie’s window and cracking her usual confident grin before jumping out. Evie’s eyes widened, and she gasped as she leaned out the window to ensure her friend had made it. “I’m good!” Jenni calls from the ground, waving in the dark of the night up to the panic-stricken blonde in the window. “Thank God… Now, I guess… I guess it’s-it’s time to go get her!” Evie shouts to Jenni, smiling. God, Jenni could be an idiot- but if there was anyone who could charm an acquaintance and ask them out on a date, it was her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was now 3AM. Jenni had been having a small anxiety attack on a park bench for half an hour, as she actually had no idea where Karliah lived. She didn’t know where the Murphys lived. “Damn it, stupid, idiot, why did you think you could do this-“ She mumbled to herself, wiping the tears and feeling around for her glasses. A husky voice was heard in the distance, which only further aggravated the waves of panic rushing through her body as she fumbled to put back on her glasses and wipe her face. Why did she care? It was probably some homeless dude or some stoner or-

Or Karliah fucking Murphy.

“I dunno man… Whaddaya think? She’s… Cute, yeah, but I doubt… I doubt she’d care. Look. Fuck, look at me! Blood dripping off my goddamn arms, and what, I feel nothing. I’m a god. I feel no pain… What am I talking about? Fuckin- I’m no god, I’m a wreck. I’m a mess. I’m a fucking failure, as my mom continually puts it.” Karliah seemed to be talking to herself as she stumbled into the dimly lit park. The streetlight was obviously faulty, as shown by its constant flickering and overall poor lighting job.

Jenni was frozen.

‘Oh my God. It’s her. She’s here. Why’s she here? Is she drunk? *gasp* is she high? Does she do drugs? … Oh my God… That’s- she cut herself. Fuck. Oh, fuck. She’s fucked up. This wasn’t a good idea. Look at those cuts. Brand-new. Are those… Scars, too? Her eyes are red. Wait. Her eyes. She’s-‘ Jenni was snapped out of her panicked train of thought when Karliah’s face hovered just inches away from her own.

“Kleinman, I said what the fuck are you doing?!” She demands gruffly, furrowing her eyebrows as she scanned the shorter teen’s face and posture. Her sleeves were down, now- she must have pulled them down before she came over. But the blood was soaking through her sweater. It was ripped- her sweater. Jenni found that interesting. Purposely ripped, or ripped through wear? Then she realized she still hadn’t answered the impatient brunette before her. “I-I uh, I came to- to the park? And I-I didn’t- I don’t feel-I had a panic attack? An anxiety attack. I don’t have anxiety. I don’t-I don’t think I do. Evie does. I think I’d know if I did? I-“

“Shut-“ Karliah held her head, letting out a low growl. “Shut up.” She commands, cringing and stumbling backward. Jenni flinches and covers her head instinctively- something Karliah notices. “Hey. Hey, I- Fuck. I’m sorry, okay? Not… I would never… Hurt you. Sorry. I don-I wouldn’t hurt you. I-this isn’t the me you’re used to right? You’re used to ‘friendly neighborhood barista’ Karliah, aren’t you?” Karliah gives an incredulous laugh, shaking her head. “That’s not me. That’s me, desperate for money, to escape my shitty family.”

“But your family… They’re rich… Right?”

“Well yeah, they’re rich and my dad makes it a point to use that money regularly. But that doesn’t mean they’re good people. My dad’s obsessed with reputation, how people view us. My brother hates me. And my mom’s a bitch. She doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about me.” Karliah looks down, picking at her already chipped black nail polish.

“I mean, yeah, that-that sounds terrible… I had no idea-“

“Of course you didn’t. Fuckin’ hell… I hardly even know you, but here we are.” Karliah spits, laughing dryly. Jenni rubs her arm awkwardly, sighing and standing carefully, so as not to bump into Karliah.

“Hey. Thanks for… For talking to me, I guess. I know it’s not the me that you’re used to. But, it… It’s nice, having someone other than Hansen who’s not completely terrified of me or hates me. I mean, you don’t- you don’t hate me, right?”

“No! N-no, of course I don’t. I…” Jenni gives a sigh, looking up to the starry sky and sighing wistfully. “I like you, if anything. You’re… You’re amazing. You’re brave, you can speak your mind, your hair’s gorgeous even though I don’t think you ever brush it, and every time I come in, I notice that you brush your hair away from your eye. That one, specifically. The one with the brown patch in the top left corner.” The shorter teen stands on her tiptoes, tapping below Karliah’s right eye. Karliah’s face was beginning to flush, but it went unnoticed.

“But I guess you don’t care, do you? Karliah Murphy, who threw a printer at the teacher in second grade. Karliah Murphy, who’s a good student when she bothers to go to school- which isn’t often. Karliah Murphy, the enigma that all freshmen have a conspiracy theory about the fact that she’s actually a god.”

“… Karliah Murphy, who just wants a good life with someone other than her family.” Karliah adds after a moment, looking down to Jenni with a slight smile. “You’re alright, Kleinman. As for you liking me- who knows, maybe you’ve got a chance? Maybe I find your little dimples to be the cutest thing. Maybe your pixie cut with the frosted tips is adorable. Maybe I think you’re pretty cool.” She shrugs, but gives a sideways grin.

“You may never know.” She adds, turning and stalking off, whistling to herself.

“Wait!” Jenni calls, looking hopeful. Karliah glances over her shoulder, stopping momentarily. Jenni runs to catch up with her, pulling a sharpie from her bag. “Here.” She says quietly, writing on Karliah’s hand. Karliah reads it, and glistening tears spring to her eyes, unbidden. “… I’ll see you at school, little miss Jennifer Kleinman.” “Likewise, Ms. Karliah Murphy.”

The time was 4:30AM. Karliah sat in her bed, rereading the hastily scribbled note that Jenni had left.

‘You’re beautiful, and you don’t need to hurt yourself. I know what depression can do. But you can stop it.

(562)-873-9045 <- that’s me! Call me when you feel down. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself anymore.

xoxo

Sincerely,

Me’

(Click the link at the top!)

[kimvtae]

Wish

Summary: Jeongguk only wants one thing for his birthday, and the best way to get it is through his most favorite bro. Or, the conversation setting up that threesome Pairing: jeongguk x taehyung, mentioned jeongguk x reader A/N: uhhh tae and jeongguk are gross, that’s all i got to say. this is completely self-indulgent but @blueagust doesn’t have her submit box open so here we goooo. oh and warnings for a bathroom blowjob Word Count: 1.729

“Hey.” Jeongguk pokes at Taehyung’s side. It’s a slow day at work and he’s bored. Taehyung’s doing inventory on the rings, like they’ve sold any today to count. “Dude.” No response again. “Tae.” Taehyung writes another number. “Hyung, I know you’re not actually doing inventory with me standing right here.”

“You give yourself too much credit,” Taehyung mutters.

“That’s a response, that means you’re paying attention to me.”

Jeongguk grabs the inventory sheet, slides it down the counter and waits until Taehyung looks up at him, expectant. Jeongguk grins.

“I literally fucked you three hours ago. I’m not doing it again.” Taehyung pauses, cocks his hip on the glass. “At least until break time.”

“No, you ass. Let me speak.” Jeongguk fiddles with the edge of the paper. “My dearest hyung-”

“I don’t like the sound of this already-”

“Shove it.” The department store is quiet today, the typical pop music sounding out of place playing only for the elderly couple shopping in the home goods section. They haven’t sold any jewelry today, which means their quota is fucked for next week but that’s the last of Jeongguk’s concerns. “I know we agreed no birthday presents this year-”

“You ass.” Taehyung reaches forward, tugs on the silver chain sitting pretty on his neck. “You’ve been wearing your gift for three days. We celebrated for two hours this morning.”

“It’s literally not my fault you refuse to listen when I say no gifts.”

“Excuse me for liking my baby boy to sparkle when I fuck him into submission.”

Jeongguk fidgets, Taehyung’s hand lying heavy on the base of Jeongguk’s throat. He’s referring to last night, of course, when Taehyung had made him cum three times with his face shoved in the pillow, but Jeongguk really shouldn’t be thinking about that now. That’s for later. “Stop, Tae, you’re gonna make me hard.”

“Not my problem.”

“Jesus, you shit head, can I get to my point?”

“Please. I’m dying to know over here.”

Jeongguk swats Taehyung’s hand away from his ear. “You down for a threesome?”

Taehyung frowns, mostly in surprise. “I guess? Thought you wouldn’t be ready for one so soon.”

“Who’s flattering himself now?”

“Dude, you got Yoongi and I to fuck you at the same time and you cried, then you slept an entire day on my couch.”

“Fuck off, it felt good.”

“Hey, that’s your tombstone quote.”

“Huh.” Jeongguk grins, loves this easy banter because it makes the boring hours of work pass that much quicker. You’re not working today so he has no one to mess with in other departments, and he’s been avoiding Namjoon like the plague so as not to ruin his birthday week. “Nice. Make sure I get a whole damn tomb, with locks and shit.”

“What fucking makes you think I’m buying your grave?”

Jeongguk bites his cheek, his smile widening. “You buy me everything else.”

“I’m going to strangle you. And not in the kinky way.” Taehyung grabs back the inventory sheet, and for a minute Jeongguk forgets about their previous conversation, content to just watch the shadow of Taehyung’s eyelashes on his cheek before Taehyung says, “When’s this going down?”

“Tonight.”

Taehyung’s hand freezes. “Dude.”

“I know! But I gave her all week and she couldn’t choose anyone.” Jeongguk shoves at Taehyung’s side, pushing him just out of view of the security cameras so he can stand a little closer. “It’s either you or Jimin.”

“Park?”

“God, do you want me to get off at all this weekend?” Jeongguk scoffs. “Seung. But Y/N’s a little too straight for that.”

Taehyung is silent for a long moment, twirling his pen between his fingers. “You want me to fuck the reason we didn’t speak for half a year? Jeongguk, come on.”

“Tae,” Jeongguk whines, nudges his nose against Taehyung’s shoulder. “Don’t, dude. She’s cool, you said so yourself. She also has no fucking clue we even fought, it’s not fair to pin that on her.”

“You’ve been hooking up with her for like a year right?” Jeongguk nods. “She’s the longest after me and you know who, excuse me for being a little wary.”

“It’s just sex, Tae,” Jeongguk insists. “We’ll go over after work, I’ve got drinks with Yoongi hyung later so you can do whatever.” He lifts Taehyung’s arm, pulls it around his own waist as he touches his nose to Taehyung’s neck. Taehyung tries to act uninterested, but Jeongguk can feel the way he tenses. “Please, daddy?”

Taehyung sighs, heavy and uneven, and Jeongguk knows he’s won. “Fine. Who’s in the middle?”

Jeongguk’s grin of victory is short-lived, falling into a confused frown. “What?”

“The middle?” Taehyung adjusts so he’s leaning his back against the glass, lets Jeongguk stand with their chests flushed. “Like how Yoongi and I both fucked you? You know this shit, dude. I need to know if my dick is going in your ass or hers.”

“Not her ass, definitely. I’ve only gotten there once and it took a vow that I’d buy her pizza anytime she wants it for the next year.”

“Ambitious. Who am I fucking?”

He thinks, pulling Taehyung’s hands to rest on his his hips. “Y/N. She might be a little weirded out if we do too much, especially with each other, and I’m not trying to make her uncomfortable.”

“You’re giving up your chance to get tag teamed? On your birthday?” Taehyung pinches at his side, teasing smile lighting his features. “Who are you and what have you done with my baby?”

“Shut up.”

Taehyung strokes his fingers along the scar on Jeongguk’s cheek. “Why can’t we ever fuck cheerleaders? Or a model? Or Celine Dion.”

“Celine Dion is like a grandmother, choose someone better. Like a lesbian?” Jeongguk mocks, scrunches his nose when Taehyung pokes it with his thumb. “At least neither of us has bagged a lesbian.”

“Well-”

“No.” Jeongguk feels that dread in his stomach because that’s Taehyung’s guilty look. Not guilty like he’s done something wrong, but that he’s withheld information that Jeongguk would consider vital. “No, no fucking way. Hyung, you said Mina was just a beard!”

“She was, baby, relax. We both were. But when we were at the hotel the night before her cousin’s wedding she said she’d always wondered what it was like to be fucked by a real dick, so we fucked.”

“And?”

“And then she patted my soft dick, said, ‘I’m so glad I’m gay,’ and we went to get drinks.” Taehyung kisses his cheek. They’re pushing it, both in public and with how long they’ve been out of the security feed. Maybe Yoongi will call and tell them to get the fuck back to work. “But you were so cute, blushing all red in algebra because you thought I was actually into her.”

“Shut up, I fucking hate you so much.”

“Mhm, that’s not what you were sobbing last night.”

“Whatever. Thanks for this, man.”

Taehyung nods, pressing one more kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek before shoving him away to go back to work. “I’m too fucking weak for you.”

Jeongguk grins. “I’ll suck your dick now, if you want.”

Going back to writing about the ugly fucking rings, Taehyung chews on his nail for a minute while Jeongguk pretends to rearrange the necklaces. “Fine. Meet me in the bathroom five minutes after Jihoon gets in for his shift. And I’m cumming on your face.”

“This is the best birthday ever.”

(Jeongguk’s favorite place in the entire ugly store is right here, in the last stall in the nice bathroom, on his knees for Taehyung. They’re not technically allowed to use this bathroom as employees, but one of the security cameras nearby is faulty and they’re good at sneaking in.

Now, Taehyung’s got his hands clenched tight in Jeongguk’s hair, holding him steady as he fucks roughly into Jeongguk’s mouth. There’s drool and spit leaking down his chin, and Jeongguk’s painfully hard behind his work slacks but he promised to suck Taehyung off, and Taehyung hadn’t given him permission to touch.

“God,” Taehyung moans, loud because he likes the threat of getting caught; likes what it does for Jeongguk. “Fuck, baby, your mouth is so good.”

Jeongguk wills away the tears from his eyes so he doesn’t miss a moment of this, of Taehyung’s flushed face and sweaty neck, his hair falling into his eyes as he watches Jeongguk gag on each thrust into his mouth. Jeongguk whines as best he can around the cock in his throat, and Taehyung tugs that much harder on his hair.

Without warning, Taehyung shoves Jeongguk off of his cock and fists it himself, pumping fast before he’s cumming with a loud moan of Jeongguk’s name, letting his cum fall over Jeongguk’s cheeks and nose, some clinging to his eyelashes and lips. Jeongguk licks for what he can reach, swallows it and rests his forehead on Taehyung’s thigh, panting to catch his breath.

“Mm, Jeonggukie, you’re always so good.” Taehyung gently cards his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, tugs him back lightly so he can look at how utterly wrecked Jeongguk is. “My good boy.”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk murmurs, voice scratchy. He shifts forward, rutting his hard cock on Taehyung’s leg. “Daddy, please.”

“I should get back to our station.”

“Fine, whatever. I’ll get off without you.”

“Ah ah.” Taehyung zips his slacks and crouches so he’s eye-level with Jeongguk. He takes Jeongguk’s hand, palming heavily at his cock, in both of his. “If you touch yourself, Jeongguk, or if you cum before tonight, I’ll make sure you get to watch as I make Y/N cum so many times she’s too spent to even think about taking your cock.” Jeongguk whimpers, shaking a little under the intensity of Taehyung’s gaze. “You don’t want to be bad for daddy, do you?”

“No,” Jeongguk says too quickly, grabs hold of Taehyung’s hands like he’s trying to get Taehyung to stay. “No, Tae, I’ll be good-”

Taehyung smiles softly. He trails his thumb through the mess of cum on Jeongguk’s face, pushes it between Jeongguk’s lips. “Good boy.” Then he’s standing, unlocking the stall door and holding it open, like he’s personally inviting the whole store to see what a mess he’s made of the jewelry counter bachelor. “Better get yourself cleaned up, baby. We’ve still got quite a few hours before we can head over to Y/N’s.”

Jeongguk can’t wait.)

[pianoreeves]

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,37,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74

YOU ASKED FOR IT

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Helloats

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Honestly, I don’t think anything is. Which sucks tbh

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

If it was just weed that’s fine. But if she shooting up, then it’s not meant to be

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

No. Five letters

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

Literally every time

7. What does your last received text say?

Thank you I’ll let mom know

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Not sure. Quite a bit I think

9. Where was your last kiss at?

My bed

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I don’t have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Normally orange juice, water or diet 7up

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My room

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

Yes

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

I would not. Even though it sucked, still wouldn’t change anything

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

I don’t think so?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

No

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Khakis, just got home from work lol

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I hope so

20. Does anyone like you?

I think so but

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Specific question but yes I have

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Not that I know of

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Oh absolutely

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

I have quite a few tattoos already

25. In the past week have you cried?

No

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

A Collie

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

A little of both

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

No

29. Do you think you’re old?

I don’t think I am

30. Do you like text messaging?

I do

31. What type of day are you having?

It’s okay. Didn’t sleep well last night but overall pretty decent

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Yes, I got my septum pierced once and it hurt really bad and I took it out

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Cold Weather

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Maybe

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Both would be okay with me

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I would say that I’m pretty complicated most of the time

37. What song are you listening to?

Currently not listening to any music

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Yes39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Unfortunately yes40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Spur of the moment stuff41. When did you last receive a text message?

probably about a week ago, no one texts me lol42. What is wrong with you right now?

Lol43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Not too well, would like to get to know her better but probably won’t lol44. Does anyone disgust you?

Absolutely45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on who it was but yes46. Are you in a good mood right now?

I’m doing alright thanks for asking47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My roommate JD48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Argyle Sweater with a button up underneath49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Usually50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Yeah. Old friends51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Yes

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Yes53. Do you like rain?

I love rain 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I don’t mind55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Yes 56. Do you like to cuddle?

I like to be the little spoon lol57. Are you shy?

Yes 58. Do you get along with girls?

I think so59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

No 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My fidget cube because it helps with my Anxiety 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

If I got to leave if I wanted to and lose the money then yes 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

For sure 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

No 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Hell yeah I eat that shit up65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I saw a super soft cat at a party

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, 24 and 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

I don’t get my nails done   68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

Not really in to either of those lol  69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

I do    70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  

Holy shit neither one  71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

Android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

Probably about a month ago   73. Do you like diet soda?

Yes mainly 7up

74. What color are the walls in your room?  

Beige      

[prompt-master]

Dear Evan Hansen Headcanons

- Jared once bought heelies because as the school funnyman it’s practically his job- but then he rolled down a ramp and crashed into a fountain

- when Connor was alive he punched a kid who made fun of his black nail polish

-Evan has both a fidget cube and spinner, but uses the cube more often. Jared used to tease him for it but then he saw how much it helped Evan and let the boy be free

-Evan has actually been handling his anxiety a lot better since the whole Connor project incident, and it makes Heidi and Jared so happy because: you’re doing great sweetie look at you go

-it took Evan a really long time to tell Jared how he actually broke his arm and when he did it was very a random very fast word vomit while they were hiking.

-Evan falling out of the tree is now the one thing Jared will not make fun of

-Jared once tried to ask Evan out and ended up screaming “YOU WANNA GO” at him and Evan instantly thought Jared wanted to fight and was Afraid

-things were incredibly awkward with Zoe for a long time. Most of the time they accidentally met in the orchard and Evan would always, without fail, start apologizing. Zoe is so used to it that whenever she sees Evan she instantly says “it’s ok.”

-Heidi takes as many days off as she can but she’s still really busy, whenever she’s home she’s making all of Evan’s favorite foods and they chill out and watch cop shows

-Heidi usually asks how Evans day went and if he’s doing ok, and Evan makes sure she’s not over exhausting herself

-One time in the middle of Evan’s routinely “I’m sorry I fucked up so bad” speeches Zoe suddenly asked “so you wrote that letter?”

-Evan didn’t go to the orchard for a week after that he was so shook

-whenever someone accidentally steps on the back of Evan’s shoes he loses his shoe, everything in his pockets, and face plants

-Jared is gonna make fun of Evan until he dies but if anyone else does Jared will personally show up to your room that night and end you

-Zoe actually helped to mend their very awkward relationship by making stupid jokes before Evan could open his mouth and after that they were able to just have a comfortable silence

-Jared is the living embodiment of “I made you a friendship bracelet” “lol that’s so stupid” “you don’t have to we-” “NO IM NEVER TAKING IT OFF”

-he may or may not have a few of Evans friendship bracelets around his ankle

-after middle school Jared actually got really afraid of being bullied, so when high school started he upped his teasing to the next tier

-Evan tries really hard to comfort Jared when he feels like shit- which is more often than you’d think- but it’s just so hard to tell when he is and he always throws it off with a dumb joke

-one time Jared teased Evan about the Connor project, and went too far, Evan didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day, Jared almost cried

- sometimes when he can tell Evan is having a rough day he invites him to places randomly- “hey so all my totally awesome friends bailed on me for the mall, and I figured you’d wanna go since you have no life or whatever”

- alternatively Evan sits by Jared and makes awkward small talk, and just gives the boy a chance to tell him what’s wrong. He’ll give him his cube if Jared seems especially anxious

-Zoe once asked Evan if anything he told her was true, and he told her about the printer story. She seemed somewhat happy that Connor cared she was in the letter.

-Zoe once stabbed Connor in the eye with mascara and still finds it one of the funniest memories of him

-Zoe is a music depression person, she sits in her room with music full blast a lot

-“wait Zoe you know that you don’t have to like forgive me and be friends with me right like that’s totally ok i know I screwed up so-” “I know, I also don’t have mourn Connor” “…so why are you at the orchard so much”

-she never explains this

-one time Jared jumped on Evans back and they both ended up in a river

-he knows Evan has the strength to hold him up and dammit he’s gonna prove it

-one of the things Evan doesn’t regret about the Connor project is his speech because he still gets messages of the video thanking him and telling him how helpful it was

-Evan really wants a hamster, like really fucking badly

-Jared constantly greets people with “sup I’m gay” or “sup Hereros”

-Jared also constantly points out hot guys in hopes that Evan will agree because he can’t tell if Evan really is bi or not he just gets bi vibes from him

-“hey can you help me find updog” “what is..updog…?”

- this happens with Bofa too

- Connor used to be the master of avoiding situations. If you tried to have a serious conversation with him he’d either distract you or you’d turn around and he’d just be gone.

- he also does this thing where he pulls his hoodie up and pulls the strings whenever he just can’t deal with how stupid this is

-Jared was the first to drive and oh god what a mistake that was, he’s terrible

-Zoe once laughed really hard and spat gum at a teacher by accident

-one time while hiking with Evan he reached over and ate a leaf and Evan can’t even look at him the same way- what is wrong with you, Jared

- operation ask Evan out part 2- Jared tried to let Evan come to him because who wouldn’t you know? Then Zoe explained that she solidified the relationship- so he took Evan to the park but ended up eating too many chili dogs and throwing up on the curve when he got nervous. He was still trying to ask him out while hurling

-Alana becomes Number One Leader, she’s great at it, she’s learned to listen to other people more often.

-she hangs out with Jared and Evan a lot, she usually organizes the hangouts

-was voted most likely to succeed in life and honestly? It was probably unanimous

- Jared and her are in the “Evan was a dick to me” club and have tshirts

- eventually they let Zoe into their club

-one time they were hanging out and invited Zoe without Evan knowing and Evan nearly jumped out a window he ran away so fast

- Alana saw Zoe’s stars on her jean cuffs and got so happy “oh my god that’s such a great idea it looks so cute!” “Oh thank you it’s just-” “do you mind if I do it too?” “Not at all but why-” “do you have a marker?”

- Evan can’t tie his shoes

- Alana ends up uploading a bunch of videos of Zoe playing songs, and they get some good attention. Zoe was shocked but Alana just explained that it was inevitable

-Jared goes through everyone’s phones and changes people’s contact names to memes

- “Evan stop apologizing so much” “I’m sorry-” “Evan no. None of that. Please” “ok ok I’m sorr-” “EVAN”

- Evan and Alana hate litter. Like a lot. Jared will never understand it but whenever the two are out they’re just picking up all the litter they find and throw it out.

-Jared once made a joke “maybe you guys should just carry around bags to carry garbage in”

-After they started doing this Jared made another joke: “why don’t you two make a recycling project”

-after Alana and Evan become save the world co-presidents Jared learned he really needs to stop joking.

-Jared cried when he graduated

[starryeyedkara]

Weekend Relaxing || Danvers Sisters

While a lazy Sunday was apparently the norm it hadn’t ever been for Kara, but after her somewhat failed game night, where James unsurprisingly didn’t show up, but Winn still did and the pair played video games for most of the night, she knew that spending her Sunday, cooped up on her computer, headphones on, notebook ready to go, while the strangers on the screen went at each other like no tomorrow wasn’t truly the best way to spend her Sunday. But lucky for her, Rao was not a God that was recognized on Earth so she wasn’t too worried about being hit by a lightning bolt or something, even if truly there was worse things she could be hit for at this point. 

The weirdest part about it was that she was truly just taking notes. She’d wanted to improve her skills when it came to pleasing Lena, and though porn was probably the most over acted thing, Kara knew they had the right ideas...sometimes. And considering the contract rule about no masturbation, well what else was she going to do!

She’d started in the lesbian section, obviously. But found they were trying too hard and she wasn’t learning anything helpful, except to make sure she always continued to keep her nails short because yikes. Then drifted to the gay section, until she realized her notes would be kind of pointless given the parts, but she did write down some hopefully helpful tips for oral, if Lena ever did make that more life like appendage and gave her another shot at it.

But now Kara found herself watching straight porn and while she skipped the nine plus minutes of a blowjob she found it had actually started to get interesting, she’d written notes and her thoughts had definitely started to wander. Of course before when she’d thought of Lena it was different, she was just imagining, but now that she knew what Lena’s touch felt like, what her weight felt like when she pinned her down, now it was easier to imagine these situations and Kara’s mind was definitely in a sinful place now. Her mind wandered to her first night with Lena, before she had a sensory overload, only this time Kara could picture (thanks to the actions on the screen) Lena completely pinning her against the bed, possibly restraining her hands again, it was only when for a split second Kara could almost feel Lena’s weight against her back did she quickly reach around for her phone to text her girlfriend.

Just as she had her fingers wrapped around the device did her hearing manage to pick up on her apartment door shutting and she was quick to tug her headphones off, quickly scrambling to mute the video, especially when she looked up from the couch and her gaze fell on Alex.

“H-Hey,” she squeaked, swallowing thickly before moving to exit the window, trying not to look too obvious, even though she could feel how warm her face was.

“Hey, sorry I knocked and you didn’t answer so I just used my key. You okay?”

“Me? Pff, yeah! I’m great. Why? Do I not look okay? Are you okay?” shutting her laptop off Kara set it aside, rubbing her hands over her thighs and setting her phone aside.

“Yeah I’m fine, you weirdo. What are you doing? Your not trying to hack things again are you? Because I think Dairy Queen is still mad at you over that,”

Huffing a little Kara moved her legs out of the way for Alex to join her on the couch. “No, I’m not hacking. I leave that to you and Winn, I was...doing research,” she blurted out, instantly wanting to facepalm.

“Research? Yeah I don’t want to know. So,” shifting a little Alex pulled out the rolled up printed article from the CatCo website from her back pocket. “I thought you might want to see this, since I’m sure the full story is going to print Monday, but I was surprised to see James wrote it, that had to be...awkward.”

Quickly setting her notebook aside Kara eagerly took the page. “Well, we look cute at least, I hope he isn’t too harsh...Lena did make sure to show him up when we were there,” she commented as she finally tore her gaze away from the picture of Lena and herself before reading over the snippet from James’ main article. Truly, it was amusing that this was the snippet, and not about the medical center, but Miss Grant had always said that people cared more about celebrity gossip and Kara figured her girlfriend basically was a celebrity. “Huh, he’s actually...nice. I mean if I had wrote this Snapper would have ripped it up, well I suppose I feel better about him not coming to my game night now,”

“He won’t be jealous forever, plus c’mon. I’m sure deep down you like having them fight over you,” Alex teased, nudging Kara’s leg. “You guys do look good together though, she looks really proud of you, as you do of her. It’s cute. I’m going to guess the diamonds were a gift?” she added in with a highly amused expression.

Smiling softly Kara glanced back at the picture, gently setting the paper on the coffee table before rolling her eyes. “Oh gosh, Alex. You don’t even want to know okay, I was so scared that sometime during the night I was going to trip and the chain would break and I’d have some movie moment where every little diamond would fall out”

“Kara, they are diamonds not pearls”

“Still!” huffing a little, Kara eventually just laughed with her sister before she shrugged a little, handing Alex part of her blanket. “It was good though, over all. Scary at first, the second person we ran into was James of course. And I didn’t know he was even invited, and then Miss Grant showed up...Yeah, Miss Grant was there. Apparently her and Lena are pals? I don’t know but I was very panicked for a moment, but it went well in the end. Plus it was nice having Miss Grant back, we talked for a bit while they were setting up for Lena’s medical center announcement. Oh! And Clark was there, honestly it was like I was just a panic attack ready to happen. I mean I haven’t seen Clark in months and suddenly he’s also where I’m telling the world I’m dating Lena? It was...overwhelming that was for sure. But, Lena was just...perfect as always, she’s so elegant and graceful, and I mean to most people it was probably nothing considering all she’s done, but being able to be the first time I got to see her at that kind of event, it was really cool. I was...and still am really proud of her,”

Fidgeting with her fingers a little Kara glanced over at Alex, catching her amused expression again, which just caused Kara’s cheeks to heat up again. “What?”

“Nothing, you are just smitten. It’s nice to see you happy, you know. Even if none of us could have guessed you’d ever be with Lena Luthor, but I just want you happy Kara, and you seem happy,”

“I am, I really am. It’s...different for both of us but she’s trying and I’m trying and that’s all I can really ask for. Speaking of happy though, how was your weekend with Maggie?”

Perking up Kara couldn’t help her instant smile as she noticed Alex’s slightly dorky smile, it was strange to think they both had girlfriends currently. It wasn’t really ever something Kara pictured when they were younger but she’d admit it was pretty exciting.

“Great, we’re trying this whole domestic approach. Given both of our busy schedules, but..”

“You set the oven on fire again?” Giggling at the playful shove she got Kara just giggled even more when Alex admitted that yes, that had happened and they’d ended up getting take out.

“Oh, I uh, I also may have asked her if she wanted to come on our camping trip...Which I hope is okay, I should have ran it by you first,”

“No, no Alex of course it’s okay! I mean it’ll be fun and I don’t see why you shouldn't invite her. I like spending time with her and I do want to get to know her better, so it is totally okay with me if she joins us.”

“Great...Awesome, I’ll be sure to tell her. Maybe you should invite Lena? Do you think she’d go for it”

Before Alex had even finished her suggestion Kara had snorted and was giggling once more. “I...I don’t know. I mean as amazing and as adorable as it would be to have a girlfriends weekend, I can’t really see Lena roughing it in the woods...I mean you should see her place, it’s like huge. And spotless. Like it looks like she just bought it, every time I go there. But...I mean it would be kind of nice. And I do want her to meet you, formally. Not bickering with each other outside the bar. She doesn’t really like...social things though, which is weird to say considering who she is. But she doesn’t like um...personal social things,”

Nodding in understanding Alex gently squeezed Kara’s calve, giving her a small smile. “Well don’t worry about it, I mean it’s up to you if you’d want to ask her, but I’m okay with her coming and Maggie is as well, she’s actually the one that brought it up. But if she doesn’t want to then no worries, we can find something else to do to meet, like dinner on a private jet or something,”

Chuckling Kara shook her head, being the one to give Alex a small shove this time. “Oh har har. But that does sound nice, I’ll ask her. Who knows she might be a camping Queen!” shifting to sit up Kara fidgeted a little once more before glancing up at Alex. “Thank you...for wanting to include her. I know you still might not be a hundred percent supportive but, it means a lot to me that you at least want to spend time with her,”

“You don’t have to thank me. You’re my sister, and I love you. So I’m going to give anyone you date a chance, Except for those internet match guys, because you were clearly not compatible, I mean what kind of algorithm were those sites even using”

“Thank Rao those didn’t work out. Where do you think we’d be now if they had? I mean I probably wouldn’t be Supergirl,”

“I probably wouldn’t have a girlfriend,”

“Oh yeah! I wouldn’t either,”

“You’re ridiculous,”

Grinning Kara happily hugged her sister, sighing softly in content. “I love you, Alex.”

“I love you too, dork.”

[tired-gay-and-hungry]

eVERY QN HAHAHA do itz now binch

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? How the fuck did this happen

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? Never kissed anyone

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? No girlfriend at the moment but if i did have one, yes i would care

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Nope

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Never kissed

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Never messed anything up i just didn’t tell them

7. What does your last received text say? HAHAHAHHA

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Never kissed

9. Where was your last kiss at? Never kissed

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? Two weeks ago

11. What do you drink in the morning? Water, sometimes coffee

12. Where did you sleep last night? On my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? Some

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Yes

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Other than the fact that i would be alone, nope

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Both, depending on the situation. 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? No middle name

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? I’m wearing shorts?

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? Lol i hope so but probably not

20. Does anyone like you? Yeah 

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? Nope

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? Never kissed

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Yes

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? Yes i would like several tattoos

25. In the past week have you cried? Yes

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Golden retriever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? In the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Nope

29. Do you think you’re old? Nope but sometimes i feel old

30. Do you like text messaging? Yes

31. What type of day are you having? A usual shitty one

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Nope

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Cold but sometimes (rarely) hot

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Yes

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? Relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? I’m not very sure. Both perhaps?

37. What song are you listening to? You and I by PVRIS

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Most of the time39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? Nope40. What made you start liking the person you like now? Don’t like anyone at the moment41. When did you last receive a text message? 10.50pm42. What is wrong with you right now? Many things43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Not very well but i’d say moderately well44. Does anyone disgust you? Not disgust, no45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? Depends who it is46. Are you in a good mood right now? I’m neutral right now which is better47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My friend from school48. What color shirt are you wearing? Navy blue49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? Yes (ahem fidget spinners)50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Apart from myself no51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? I don’t think i’ve ever fallen for anyone yet

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? Nope53. Do you like rain? Yes but not if i’m outdoors and it’s pouring54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? I’ll care if they drink excessively 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yes, quite a few56. Do you like to cuddle? Yes but it’s too hot to cuddle in Singapore57. Are you shy? Yes, at first58. Do you get along with girls? Most girls59. Have you dated the person you texted last? Nope60. What do you carry with you at all times? my phone and wallet61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Nope, i can’t stand scary things62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Well i’d hope so, yes63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Nope64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Yes65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? Yes 

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? Never kissed anyone

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Do them myself because i’m broke rn 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Both are horrible69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Don’t have a car70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? I listen to neither, so i don’t know71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? Can’t remember73. Do you like diet soda? Nope74. What color are the walls in your room? Blue75. Are you 16 or older? Does 16 turning 17 count as older76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Nope77. Do you have a job? Nope  78. What are your initials? CC79. Did you ever have braces? Nope, but i think i may be getting them at the end of the year80. Are you from the south? South??? I’m from southeast asia…? 

81. What does your last status on facebook say? I have no clue82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? Never kissed anyone83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? Mum but i think i’d be closer to my dad if i spent as much time with him as i do with my mum84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Nope85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? WONDER WOMAN86. Do you smoke?  Nope87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Flip flops. Heels are painful88. Is your phone touch screen? Yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? However it is (sometimes straight sometimes wavy).90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Yes91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? Depends how clean they are but if they’re all clean, a lake92. Have you ever made out in a car? Nope93. …Had sex in a car? Nope94. Are you single or in a relationship? Single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? My math homework96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 9th August (on tv)97. Do you like the camera on your phone? Nope98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? Nope100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Nope101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Don’t listen to her103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Yes i have many (neck, shoulders, arms, thighs, ankles)104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? I hope not

Thank you for this very very long ask i hope you’re happy

[podcastmecaptain]

the stim bin

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​ , @podcastmecaptain , and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are equally responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today as well all three aforementioned dorks are neurodivergent folks writing about neurodivergent folks.

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

attention: all contents incredibly neurodivergent

everyone shares those fidget cubes

collectively they have like five

in so many colors

esther also designs a giant version that’s like. the size of a KEYBOARD and with lots more options and Bigger

jack builds it

they call it the stimboard deluxe

anthony has nintendo

sally brings him all her childhood games and watches him hyperfocus

sally and anthony were the first autistic friend each other had and they love sharing weird stuff from their childhoods that nobody else liked

they have a lot of overlap of interests and they spent so long without anyone like them who really got them

and they both feel so safe and loved not only with each other but with the whole gang because everyone’s neurodiv af even if they’re not sure in exactly what way

anthony brings notes everywhere

scribble scribble

Doing The Right Thing, Doing Science For Good is sort of his ruling philosophy

a lot of times it’s really easy to lead him down the wrong path if he thinks it’s Science For Good

he has some problems with gullibility

the pressure stimming is too real

PRESSURE! STIM! HUGS!

Big Coats or Lab Coats

fiddling with his glasses

he’s bad at artistic/creative things and just doesn’t get it. he can follow a pattern tho,

polish patterns work for him, especially with tape. he likes taking care of his nails because he’s v tactile, he likes the smooth feeling of the polish and likes tapping his nails

he either gets really anxious or angry about Bad things

breakdowns, breaking things, and weirdly quick recoveries

he could hug people for hours

he usually does if he’s had a panic attack, but other than that acts like he’s fine

canon says sally eats weird and has a disturbing appetite so like,

sally separating EVERY SINGLE FOOD by group and flavor and texture and then like putting one piece of one in her mouth at a time and keeps TALKING CAUSE SHE’S A DORK

other options:

SHREDS EVERYTHING AND EATS IT WITH A STRAW

eats only EXACTLY one quarter of anything at a time and forgets the rest

uses her hands for THINGS SHE SHOULD NOT

burnt things

she love the Cronch

puts things together that should not even touch

jack cries the day he sees her dip pickles in whipped cream and shove a fistful of blue cheese blissfully into her mouth immediately after that

sally’s special interests:

electronics, gadgets, tinkering, SCIENCE, beginning quantum physics, computers

stims by tinkering and uses voice recordings for vocal stims, plays with her hair and bites her nails, spinning, dancing, tapping tools

hands on everything

the dancing is so bad and uses her full body (it’s actually so cute)

is a bad driver bc she either hyperfocuses on the road or she starts TALKING and gets lost in anything BUT driving

sally wears her lab coat everywhere

she plays with the seams, runs the fabric between her fingers, tugs on the corners of it to create pressure on her shoulders

sometimes she spins in a circle just to let the fabric flap behind her like a cape

tags on clothing are EVIL

she takes them out with a seam ripper till there’s no traces

sallys clothes are always a little large and odd bc if they’re not comfy she Dies

no really she’ll end up in a ball somewhere crying because of sensory grossness

she has serious sensory processing issues

sometimes it’s really a Drag but she loves fiddling with things so much and it feels so good and she wouldn’t give it up for the world

she has a watch that sometimes she’ll make clicking noises along with the tick tick tick tick

lots more under the readmore!

sally is the queen of weighted blankets

she always has one readily accessible in case she needs to wrap up in it

the gang Knows this and they’re always asking her to borrow one

like one time esther texts sally like “help me im having sensory issues and i need hugs”

and sally turns up with not one but TWO heavy blankets

(she may have fallen over once or twice trying to carry both of them)

(just these two lil scurrying feet on skinny legs goin patpatpatpat supporting this huge bundle of extra-weighted bedding floating down the hall)

she wraps esther in them and then squeezes her, too

for good measure, sally gets up on her tippie toes and rests her chin on esther’s head

esther, muffled: “i am a burrito now”

sally: “a precious tiny gay burrito”

or, estherrito

bridget puts her in her phone contacts as ‘ettie burrito’

and sally in turn puts her in hers as ‘questherdilla’

also oh my god when will she Stop doing fingerguns with accompanying tongue clicks

sally talks to herself

she has a little wee tape recorder named Diane because Diane

its covered in stickers

she likes to record what she’s doing to organize herself and calm down

and she’ll replay them to process things

sometimes her friends will leave happy messages on there for her

or helen will sing her a little ditty

helen is the world’s best audio stim

her voice is just really soothing

she’ll sing absently and everyone just operates more smoothly for that minute

she likes singing for herself too

humming and tapping her instrument is a soothing habit

helen is very audio/vocal

she likes to play the same song over and over again

bridget has some issues with self image

she also has obsessive tendencies, sometimes related to organization and labeling things

but also related to literature and only being able to talk about whatever she’s into

sometimes it’s easier to quote things from her favorite books instead of replying in her own words

she doesn’t like things that are uneven or unbalanced

objects OR concepts that are unfair or unequal

(except her hair. her hair is badass and she’s okay with that kind of disunity)

esther’s adhd and her big stims are

high heel clicks on the floor when she walks

fancy & feminine clothes that make her feel secure

the ritual of putting on her makeup

pencils (tapping or twirling)

HER RINGS, she has three and she spins spins spins

she likes to rub the shaved side of bridget’s head

and run her fingers through the hair on the other side

she ALWAYS has her father’s old deck of cards with her, she’s shuffled them so many times they’re completely worn down, and no one is allowed to touch them but her

they’re very soft, she has a new pack as well for crisper sound/feeling and everyday use

sometimes she uses card games as lens to make sense of the world

she has a rough time with communication and a rough time with empathy but she’s trying to work on both of those

both come easier with people she’s close to and bridget is helping her some too

it’s easy for her to hyperfocus in class and doing homework, so it took them a while to diagnose her

out of all of them, esther is the best at reminding people to be organized and do self-care (tho she doesn’t always take care of herself)

she spends a lot of her time in her own head, she really values alone time, and she needs to recharge after she spends time around people

even people she loves

jack’s also adhd, had been diagnosed for a while and has almost all of the opposite symptoms as esther (which is another one of the reasons it took them so long to figure out esther)

jack always works better after he moves, if he runs a little or bounces a ball around or is shaking his legs, rocking on his heels

he makes lots of rolling rrr sounds and blows his lips when he’s frustrated

the pencil chewing ended in splinters and the pen chewing ended in ink all over so now he has a little necklace with a chewable shark

the sharks name is Fredrico

his binder is actually kinda helpful because it’s pressure

he screws and unscrews things a lot

actually taking apart and putting back together all machinery is a Big Thing

june is dyslexic

she has cute tinted glasses to help her with studying

sometimes helen reads stuff out loud for her, she doesn’t mind but june hates to ask

for her birthday quentin bought her a five sided highlighter to color code different things

she has some emotional processing issues

it’s easier to feel angry than anything else

& her methods of dealing with anger aren’t super healthy either

quentin is the only one who actually can manage himself

Quentin is a Hydrated Boy

(he has great skin)

quentin always comes across as super chill but that’s actually because he has hella anxiety and works really hard to manage it

penny is autistic and if june and helen are the dad and mom friends and esther is the gay cousin

then sally and anthony are the autistic aunt and uncle who adopt penny as their niece

they can spot one of their own from a mile off and just decided We Gonna Take Her Under Our Big Fluffy Damn Wings

penny is the Flappiest Autistic

big happy arm flaps, upset little hand flaps, her fast excited flaps are literally the best and most joyous thing

she’s always been kinda embarrassed and insecure about it but jack is so supportive

he’s only a moderate flapper but he often flaps with her when she does it

and he calls her his butterfly

this melts her heart and makes her feel happy and not weird and when this happens she is prone to flapping even harder

she calls him her moth

they’re precious fluttery darlings

sometimes when they both get going, sally joins in too and they all spin around the room fluttering in a big flappy tornado

it’s Good 

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Friday

this is a Diary entry for future me, but feel free to read, as always. Cosplayed: Mik.an Tsumiki

Okay, so i woke up early to get there by 10 am, ate 3 bowls of cereal n dad helped me w my wig n the bandages n stuff then i went to the con and made it there at abt 9:40 am..? around then, and went downstairs to look around before going to the ouran or hs panel so i spotted the nice Ann from earlier along with a futaba that they were friends w and i hung out w them for a while talking abt stuff and tried spinning a spinner for the first time?? rly hard w nails tho so i gave up and gave it back to them and i heard “hey nurse!!” and turned around and a ruruka and komaeda w a big monob.ear plushie were riding down the escalator waving at me and i got a pic of them and they took a pic of me and ruruka gave me a gummy candy but i had to return it bc i dont eat gelatin but they were nice! i saw em a few times later too. so i told ann and futaba that i was gonna go to the hs panel and said goosbye 

and i went to the hs panel and it.. wasnt too fun?? idk it was just a small panel. they were eating ben boozled beans to see if they got the good or gross flavor and i asked nepeta what her favorite kind of cat was and terezi tried to rap and gamzee did shenanigans but after a while i wanted to see some of he ouran panel so i went in there but not much was happening so i stuck around then eventually left it bc i was kinda bored

and then!! the LL pep rally aa! it was major cute, and all of the dancers were amazing and it had me having LL songs stuck in my head esp the nico and nozo duet song aa and while they were dancing i think i almost teared up bc i started having Idol Feelings?? flrhknrfhb but ANYWAY the maki, after asked, mentioned en.stars but she didnt kno how to play + she ddnt wanna read a japanese walkthrough and u could literally see me STRAINING not to tell her i could teach her how and i couldnt after the panel but oh well! the panel was rly cute n fun aa and there was a halloween!yohane w a rly nice outfit and after taking her pic i was like “im ur fallen angel now, yohane-sama!” and she was like “yes you are one w me now or somefin it was cute!

After that, i forgot that there was an SU panel and i went to the ON.S panel and some of the jokes were funny but since im not major into o.ns (never was, altho ive seen seasons 1 and 2 and read some of the manga) i eventualy left bc i got kinda bored and they startedplaying games like “Honey i love u” (and a friend later told me that the panel got boring after that) and bc i heard there was a DR meetup going on, i decided to go since i had 30 minutes before the max mitt.elman q and a but most of the cosplayers were just standing around and talking waiting for a photographer and a juzo was rly nice to me and so was the mondo (who seemed to be running the meetup) but by the time they got a photographer, it was time for me to go and mondo’s like “u joinin for pics?” bc i was standing off to the side looking at the con map n i was like “ah.. no, the voice of ryuji is here n i wanna see him” so the mondo said they were gonna be morgana at the per.sona photoshoot on satuday and that max might be there and im so SAD that i cant go to it bc its at midnight aa..

but so i left and i went to go see max mit.telman and it’s! surreal seeing a celebrity and everytime he spoke all i heard was Ryuji honestly thats what i thought of almost everytime fhnkhn but a lot of the talk in that panel was abt voice acting or spi.derman but i managed to aask him a question abt per.sona (”whats ur favorite castle and character?”) and he said kamoshidas palace bc ryuji’s awakening is in there and that ryuji was his fav n when i said Of Course he said “oh, other than ryuji? hmm.. the subway announcer” and everyone laughed and i think someone else asked him abt per.sona before me and it was like.. what was the funniest ryuji line to do and max said “the line where hes eating and he goes ‘IT’S LIKE A MEATY EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH!!’” and i was laughing aaa but it was so cool! but i left near the end of it and went to the DR panel at 1:30

and the DR panel was kinda boring, i stood in the back bc there were tall ppl sitting near the places i like to sit and stuff but hey did lil games and i asked mono.kuma “what his fvorite exocution was (”h-hopefully not mine!”) and he said terut.eru’s w the helicoptors and they had trivia but the only question i knew i dint raise my hand fast enough unfortunately but its okay and later in the panel i asked junko how she really felt abt mikan (and called her junko-sama aaa) and junko said “well.. i kill the people i love so.. haha!” but made a heart w her arms and i made a heart w my fingers

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF TODAY there was a dm.md dating panel and i was like “hhh clear is best boy im gonna wait until clear is called then take a seat as a contestant” so the panel was funny and virus was all like “how do you feel abt exotic pets” and contestant one was like “well i do love bigass snakes” and virus is like “oh yea? well i have 2~” n koujaku mentioned something like theyll have to be a snake charmer and one lady, when virus asked why he should choose them, she said her character (Foxxy) once put chicken up herself and it came out fried and her friend, who was #2, said “I CANT COMPARE WHEN HER P**** DOUBLES AS A MICROWAVE!” and the other girl went “easy bake oven” and everyone was laughing and #2 couldnt stop laughing and it was Wild tbh ekhrhflj AND THEN when they called cleae you could see me stand up SO EFFING QUICK AA and i sat down as contestant 3 and as i sat down i was like “aa i was waiting for clear hes my best boy” and clear (and kou i think) heard me and went “oh aww” and clear asked his first question of “what do you think of jellyfish” and #1 said they’re squishy, #2 said they’re pretty yet kind of delicious, and i said “they’re pretty and floaty.. and theyre soft- well, they look soft, yanno? and they’re swimming all free.. w how theyre floating, maybe theyre secretly fairies or something?” and everybody Aww’ed aaa and then clear asked his 2nd question “where you take me on a date?” and #2 said the obv answer of aquarium, #1 said a beach at sunset i think, and i thought for a sec abt how clear is soft ans sweet and said “i think something simple, like a sleepover, and we could have glow in the dark stars on the wall n all yanno, and maybe watch a movie w a pillow fort and lots of plushies?” and everybody Aww’ed harder and i just kinda shyly smiled and i heard the panelists Awwing too and koujaku turned to clear and said “so, do you need to ask a third question or do you obv already know who ur gonna pick” w an Obvious tone and clear nodded (rly cutely aa) and walked down n he was like “would you.. do me the honors of being my chosen one?” and holding out my bouquiet (which was what the winning contestant got) and i was smiling so hard and nodded (i think we hugged too?) and i said “only if i have the honor of giving you a lollipop, clear~!” and gave him a fake shot and a lollipop and i was like “if you need a different flavor u can have a diff. one aa” and clear was like “ah oh no that’s fine!” and koujaku was like “oh my god can we have her instead of these guys” (meaning the other dm.md panelists) and  was fidgeting back to my seat in jy and slight shyness but after that i asked clear 2 questions during the q and a and i asked if he would make his brothers Good and not on the side of toue if he could and he nodded yes and one of the panelists played jellyf.ish song and i was like aa and then later i said “um.. clear.. i think you’re kinda similar to that one robot.ic pokemon princess- um, i forgot her name bc of my memory but-” and clear was nodding and blushing and i was like aaa bc we’re both Shy so it’s just us both being nice and blushy and i couldnt hear it well but i think clear was like “we should see it later” and after the panel was over i was gathering my bag and the clear came up to me and they were like aa you’re so cute can i take a pic of you” and i was like “yea sure can i take a pic of you?” and so we talked abt how neither of us have seen the pok.emon movir i was talking abt yet and i gave clear a hug and they were so cute im gonna Cry aa... im Lov............

after that i walked around the dealers room and the female hajime from earlier that i saw at the meetup and at the DR panel asked me to pose w them and since they got a bouqiet from the dm.md panel too we posed w those like a marriage proposal and i was like “take that spike ch.unsoft we’re making DR Gay now” and we stood around and talked abt per.sona until i saw a ryuji and goro and hajime and i took pics of em and we talked w them for a sec (the goro was like “nobody likes goro they all want pics of just ryuji”) and they were Nice and i saw dm.md cosplayers that i saw at the panel in the dealers room and they kept complimenting me on how cute i was during the panel aaa AND i met the virus and trip who were in the panel and they complimented me too and we stood around and talked for a while and i was like  “is virus’ jacket green bc he’s Poisonous?” and they were like “..interesting though. maynbe! :o” and i was like “and trip is piink for sweets, virus is green bc of snakes maybe? and trip’s pink could be a lion tongue?” and i gave them both lollipops + fake shots (i was like “maybe oit’s heroine. OH or maybe i shot you up w... Morphine” and we all went aaayyye) and i left

the oso.matsu-kun ppl never showed up so ikept browsing the dealers room and while i was looking at en.stars blind boxes, i saw a naegi going thru the id.olish omanjuus but i thought they were en.stars ones and i went “omg are you an en.stars fan?!” and they were like “YEA are you??” and i was like “YAH” and so we talked abt the event and how he wants a wataru omanjuu even tho he kinda finda wataru weird and turns out hes a SwitchP and a rabitsP bc “he has self-care” and doesnt go close to Popular units and we talked for a while and he apparently didnt kno abt the en.stars panel on saturday so i told him abt it and led him to the idol merch booth n showed him the en.stars keychains and found atsumugi for him and he got a sora and some lady in a pink sweater (?) was looking thru the boxes too so i was like “ARE U INTO IT” n she was lieke “yea!” so we talked w her and shegot the shu christmas charm (i joked that it mustve been fate we met bc i got the mika one) and she said she likes valkyrie and she mentioned her artist alley booth has en.stars stuff (i couldnt fint eh booth) and that someone she knew was cosplaying mika (didnt fine em either) or maybe she said “was going to..?” but she said she was gonna go w a friend as leo and madara in vacation clothes on satuday n i was like “DUDE COOL” and naegi said he might cosplay nazuna at metro or just eventually and i was so happy aa but eventually i left the dealers room

the os.osan q and a wasnt much to talk abt so after that, the bn.ha q and a AND the bb dating panel were PACKED but i stood in the back of the bn.ha one for a while but thought abt leaving and dad called me so i took my chance to leave and answer him and after that i just walked around more and met an eg.gs benedict who hung out w me and we saw a nof.ace who gave them candy and we talked w an akira abt stuff before i left to walk again and after a while i met a Honoka and a Kamoshida and we talked abt en.stars and LL and aa it was fun they were Nice and i went to the mat.suno mixerfor the last half (i looked inside earlie, saw no one and didnt go inside but they apparently stated late) and got chosen to be a contestant for ichimatsu (which i found ironic bc i had already won a dating game today haha) (i was contestant #1, he couldnt see any of the contestant bc there was a rack between us) and ichimatsu asked “whats ur opinion on cats”and i said “well i love them!! and rin h.oshizora is my best LL girl so of course nya!” n for the 2nd question he said “my brothers r gonna hate me for this, but how submissive are you?” and i said “well.. technically i’m a switch, but i’m Mostly a bottom, ichimatsu-sama... And i mean.. i let junko-sama step on me so..” and some ppl laughed aa and for his third question he said “on a scale of 1-10 how much do you think im trash” so i decided not to say 10 or 11 and said “well i think you’re mosre like.. a recycling bin! nor fully trahsh, perse! but im p lazy too so we can be trash buddies together!” and in the end ichi said he liked #1 n #3 but #1 charmd him more so the rack was removed and i got a bouqiet of duct tape flowers from him and i said “i can be your kitty, ichimatsu-sama nya!” and he linked elbows w me and escorted me down the stage stairs and it was nice aaa..

after that was the pajama rw.by panel but it wasnt v interesting and some guy in he audience was loud and annoying and the LLpj party where i talked w the honoka and kamoshida from earlier and a different honoka and we talked for a sec abt en.stars and id.olish and the panel was okay but i was.. tired aa...

the DR panel turned out to be mostly party games not q and a and i was tired so i left midway thru once dad came to pick me up at like 11:30 and we got mcnuggets and a medium fry to share and!! con day overrr